#but she's really lost in trying

[raepliica]

tristamp post-S1 mashwood sillies and tri98(?) merylwood :]

[lured-into-wonderland]

Her name said in that odd way. A long faded memory from the past. Nunnally blinked a few times before realizing she was still standing in the corridor with her fiancé. With Hibiya, who seemed (again) to be disappointed with her behaviour. She wanted to tell herself that she didn’t care, but that was not the truth. Nunnally still cared that things would work for them, but the more time she had spent here and with him, she had less and less hopes it could actually work. It seemed the future king wanted a wife she would never become. That Hibiya wanted a kind, sweet, blushing wife that would find joy in social events, enjoying her life in the palace between high aristocracy, going from one party to another. An arm candy more than a wife or a partner, although she was well aware they would have to give kingdom the heir.

And she simply could not accept that. Well, she probably had not much choice as she wasn’t able to force him into considering her a partner, a co-ruler, a person. But she might stop trying aiming for unreachable (but was it really so unreachable!? Perhaps she's just doing it in a wrong way?), and just try to build her own cosy world without much of Hibiya in it. They were royals. It wouldn’t be that uncommon if they lived their lives separately and meet only during formal occasions and in the…bedroom. It wasn’t what she wanted, but perhaps that was what she’d be getting?

( “Tad more patience!” )

As if she wasn’t patient with him. With him constantly pushing her away. But perhaps it wasn’t that only ‘H E’ was the only one to blame? Perhaps she wanted too much and too quickly? It seemed slow (extremely slow for her), but perhaps she was moving (and pushing him) too much? Perhaps she should offer him some more patience (as he requested), and some more room…if he needed that.

“Yes, of course.” – she agreed with a smile; though she was distracted. Almost absent-minded. Nunnally didn’t know herself how genuine she was about it – “If that is what you need, I’ll comply.” – no matter what her real intentions were (or rather what her final decision would be), she wanted Hibiya to feel a little bit more…relaxed? …safe around her? She couldn’t find the right words.

“I…I apologize if I was insisting too much. It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable.” – her previous statements might have been said out of courtesy or because it was expected from her, her apologies were more sincere. She never wanted to make him feel bad, but she always had that feeling that, somehow, she ended up in the wrong place with Hibiya. Perhaps they were just incompatible. Or perhaps there was something about their cultures being too different.

Nunnally was ready to give up. To leave. To actually give him that space he wanted. But it was then Hibiya who didn’t allow her. It only proved that even if he was trying, he didn’t understand her at all. Yes, Nunnally was aware he was trying to fulfil her wishes, to perhaps even please her? But why did it feel that he was insulting her? Red crept on her cheeks. She was trying to convince herself she shouldn’t feel like that, but well, it was difficult. And yet, surprisingly to herself, she didn’t want to dismiss him, but rather to show that she appreciated his offer.

“Whatever is most comfortable for you will be a great start.” – she truly attempted to appear exciting. Or grateful – “Or wherever you think my skills might be most useful.” – she wasn’t going to choose; she would let him choose. If Nunnally were to choose, she’d probably cross his boundaries again. And she decided to be patient. Whatever that meant. But she knew whatever Hibiya was to choose, it wouldn't be what she wanted. Education. Public services? No! She wanted something meaningful. Internal affairs. Foreign policy. Military. And yes, finances.

“But please take your time to decide. You are right. We don’t have to start today. Or even tomorrow. There might be more important things to address first.” – like our wedding; her head started to ache – “Perhaps then a walk in the gardens?”

Then she noticed someone in the far end of the corridor… Was it a messenger Hibiya was expecting?  

The quick agreement to go back to his office threw him off, still walking when she stopped. "Oh-- no, we don't have to, I'm sorry. I was just," he started explaining with a gentle shake of his head, but realized how admitting to being sassy would come off. Because he obviously expected to get away with a snide comment. Her joy felt out of place, almost like she was outright ignoring what was said, dismissing it without a second thought. "Nunnally." He spoke up but stopped for some reason, allowing her to attempt to draw them back again.

She was so damn pushy. Could she not be satisfied with how things were for a single day? Hibiya tried to bear it without question as much as he could, but it was becoming all too difficult to ignore reality anymore: she was a god awful headache. He had been waiting for it to pay off, some kind of acknowledgment or gratification, or a small thank you at the least. "Did you even--" listen to him?

Hibiya swallowed the rest of the words that tried to force themselves out. He felt his defenses rising higher each time they talked about something that was more than just light chatter. Everything he didn't want, or said, had to be pushed against. The boy wanted to walk away and leave it at that, cool off and organize his thoughts so they would sound better than what he was thinking now. But he somehow knew Nunnally wouldn't allow that and only find it as another reason to scold him in the passive way that she did. Hibiya took a breath, not nearly as deep as she should have been to do anything. "I apologize, but I think I require a tad more patience from you."

"I'm becoming stretched quite thin bending over for whatever it is you want me to be that week. I understand this relationship requires openness and vulnerability and whatever else, but unfortunately for the both of us, that requires time. I've been told I can be very malleable, believe it or not, and I'm willing to become whatever type of husband it is you want, but you need to allow me to try and get there first before you keep egregiously pushing me."

His tone shifted by the end of it, from defensive, to desperation. He didn't raise his voice, he wasn't animated or particularly willing to say anything he was going off about. It maybe wasn't the best way, but he was getting out his honest thoughts finally, releasing some of that built up tension Hibiya had been ignoring. He too, wanted this to work, yet was no longer able to pretend he was the only part of the problem.

There was only silence between them for a few moments, the prince finally catching those few deep breaths. Calm, easy now. "What is it you would like to focus on with work? Dividing it by topic I was thinking is the easiest way to not step on each other's toes too much. Education? Um, public services? Whatever you'd like." No, that was giving her far too much to play with. It was already proven that if she could, Nunnally would take more than she was given. "Just not finances, I feel least comfortable with giving that up."

[idle-compy]

edge of town - middle kids

[puppppppppy]

oooh wait so the plot hole of “why doesnt a spirit medium just channel the victims spirit” is literally bc the DL-6 spirit channeling cant be repeated huh

[bubblewater]

Why ship Moana x Matangi when Moana x Loto is RIGHT THERE

Like Spirit Granny can’t pull the Bat Lady

[teddybeartoji]

I AM LOVED BY WOMEN LIFE IS GOOD ALL IS WELL

[caeslxys]

Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.

Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.

Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.

So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.

I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.

I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.

Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?

I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?

I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.

[bayetea]

yeah I didn't think the next thing I was gonna draw would be thalukethan either but I'm adhd and I have Thoughts about them

[purpurussy]

everything Dan said about labels in BIG was so extremely real and personal to me and people really gloss over a lot of it sometimes I need to talk about it more about it when I'm not exhausted

[jalluzas-ferney]

I don’t think this is an unpopular opinions but lowkey fannon kailor is sm better than cannon kailor.

(Read the tags)

[mwagneto]

i left my phone in my room and picked up an actual physical book and sat down on the balcony and read the whole thing can everyone please be so so proud of me

[lillymakesart]

my new OC: cempaka!

she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)

also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)

bonus first iteration under the cut!

i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3

[amyriver]

i have this headcanon that the doctor didn’t even try to find melody, because he knew finding her meant sacrificing river. sort of like the old amy/young amy problem in “the girl who waited”, but this time he chose the older version

for a better headcanon i like to believe he asked river what she wanted, and she told him not to find her. because at least then it’s her choice

[chrollogy]

[aromanticasterisms]

no but actually. the parallels to other Twins in different nations of teyvat in relation to the traveler and their desire to reunite with their own sibling makes me a little bit bonkers. like.

diluc and kaeya as what the traveler has and fears, after we will be reunited [separation born from conflict that seemingly cannot be mended; they both care for each other but ultimately their opposing ideals mean they cannot be at each other's side in the same way that they used to, and no longer have the close bond they once did]

ei and makoto as what the abyss sibling experienced [a crushing loss not just of one's twin but the last remaining friend they had and the safety and security of their nation, coming out the other side traumatized, cold and jaded and making decisions that will ultimately hurt the people they claim to want to protect for the sake of an unattainable goal]

and lyney and lynette as what the traveler and the abyss twin used to have before they were separated [never apart for long, home is wherever we are together], what the traveler wants [their separation brief and quickly amended, continuing to be inseparable after they reunite], and also the choice they'll have to make [the twins being together in an organization the traveler inherently doesn't trust - does the traveler want to be by their sibling's side badly enough to throw their lot in with the abyss, and turn their back on everyone else they've met on their journey so far?]

[zukkaoru]

ohhh you guys are reading bsd without suspending your disbelief. you guys are expecting to get a clear cut perfectly understandable scientific explanation for something that can't actually happen in the real world, and then you're upset when you don't get it. you're forgetting that bsd has always had fantastical elements in it and it is not meant to be a 1:1 replication of Our World. you don't have to know and understand every single scientific concept being talked about in the recent chapters; you just have to be able to get the general idea and realize that this isn't the real world, so it won't make sense by the standards of our reality. then maybe you can stop whining about how nonsensical all the dialogue is and start appreciating the story itself