#but seriously: this is outrageous and impossible and if it were possible there's absolutely No Shot it's SAFE

[lizasweetling]

What in the Clown Car Nonsense????

iDrigibles operate on displacement. this Is Actually Impossible under standard consideration

like seriously, that's like a hundred aircrafts at least! Even in the most space effective canister you can't store that much gas! and if they took the gas out of the castle's gasbag that only raises more questions!

And that's just the Gas! where were the gondolas??? Where were the Ribs???? Where in God's Name did they have this much ballast???? the sheer mass of stuff depicted here Blows my mind!!

I can posit a few mitigating strategies?? That make this less outrageously impossible:

majority of these structures are Collapsible and were in storage.

they have either no ballast or almost no ballast, and so they have no power to ascend. incredibly dangerous when there's this many crafts in the sky, but at least that results in a logisticlaly possible to distribute and launch in a such a tight timeframe

the castle is falling because more than half it's buoyant load went to these support craft (I hope this one isn't true, it would be such a waste of an engineering marvel and also Gil's childhood home)

the castle has a patently absurd amount of gas transported in canisters, if so, presumably in the name of an occasion exactly like this one.

the castle had the facilities to keep and/or create large quantities of buoyant gasses so cold that they're solids

a device comparable to Agatha and Gil's improved Lightning generator, or more likely several such devices, are being used to unfuse a huge volume of water into Hydrogen and Oxygen. I am more than slightly alarmed by the implied high voltage near high oxygen concentration this implies, but emergency solutions are not always themselves recommended practice (since theoretically this kind of evacuation would be for exceedingly dangerous happenings, so the threat becomes relative) (and begs the question once more of what the devil is going on here?!?)

[ladykissingfish]

The Akatsuki at Karaoke Night

Being a group of insatiable killers is hard work, even in the best of circumstances. Like anybody else, the Akatsuki is constantly seeking out ways to unwind and de-stress during their off time. One day Konan goes out and comes back excited; a local tavern hosts a karaoke night every week. The others are reluctant at first, but this quickly becomes one of their new favorites pastimes. Drinking, eating, singing; what could be more fun than that?

Deidara

Has to be really drunk to get up on stage and sing. Like, incredibly drunk. Like how-is-he-still-standing-drunk. When in this state, there’s one song that he’ll sing and one song only: “I’m A Barbie Girl.” Nobody in the Akatsuki knows why he chooses this particular song, but everyone has to admit that it suits him. He’ll take his hair out of his ponytail and have it cascading down his back, he’ll tie up his shirt in a front knot, and, if she’s wearing them, will borrow Konan’s heels to wear. And he’ll always try and drag Sasori on stage with him to sing the parts of Ken (C’mon, Danna! You’re literally like a doll, hm!), but Sasori will only comply if he’s in a really good mood/there’s not that many people around. Despite his intoxication he’ll actually sing beautifully, so much so that he’ll receive requests for encores; which he’ll do, until the booze catches up with him and he falls head-first off the stage and into someone’s (usually Tobi’s) lap. Won’t remember a thing the next day and feverishly insist that he’s never even heard of “some weird Barbie song”.

EDIT:: After days of this being on my mind I can also believe that Deidara would sing “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood(?) and stare directly at Sasori the entire time even though they’re not really dating they‘re “in a situation” and even though if they WERE dating Sasori isn’t the cheating kind but he’s listening to the lyrics and noting how intensely Deidara is singing it and his face is just 😳

Sasori

He only goes because the others insist that he does. Honestly, this guy has a severe allergy to anything Fun. Chances are he’ll bring one of his puppets with him to work on/modify. He mostly refuses to get on stage and sing any songs of his own, BUT he’ll use his chakra strings to control his puppet and have it dance along on stage to a song of his choosing, that he has one of the other members sing for the puppet (giving them a taste of ventriloquism). The song he likes his performers to do most frequently is “Dancing With Myself” by Billy Joel; this must be his favorite song because he always silently mouths along to it as it plays. If literally nobody else is there besides the rest of the Akatsuki, he sometimes “makes” Deidara join him for a duet; he’s particularly fond of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John, although he and Deidara always fight over who sings the part of the girl.

Tobi

It’s dangerous to let Tobi sing in front of people. Not because he’s bad at it, but because ... he’s good. Startlingly good. His voice changes completely from a goofy childish timbre, to very deep, and smooth, and mellow. There are sea legends about sailors being lured to their deaths by the songs of sirens, and the same principle seems to be at work here. Waitresses will drop their trays, people walking will run face-first into each other, and the area around the stage will be packed with men and women alike trying to get as close as possible to him. The fact that he sounds like that but won’t make his mask off makes him even more mysterious and alluring. His song of choice? “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers; which brings tears (and swooning) to the eyes and minds of anyone who hears him. After the song it’s like someone flips a switch, and he goes back to the weirdo that the Akatsuki knows and tolerates, seemingly completely oblivious to the chaos his singing caused. He also enjoys having drinks with his Senpai, as the alcohol makes the blonde much more friendly towards Tobi than he usually is; however he can’t keep up with the amount of booze Deidara can put away, and he feels sleepy after just a few beers.

Hidan

As with most group outings, he’ll complain about thinking everything is stupid. His religion prohibits the consumption of alcohol, so he’ll occupy himself with eating lots of food and “lovingly” heckling his fellow Akatsuki members when they get up on stage. Once in a blue moon he can be persuaded to get up and sing himself, although again this is a complete rarity. He has no real music preferences and will usually just flip through the available choices until he finds something he knows the lyrics to. Tries to pick songs with a lot of swearing in it, which he won’t bother to bleep out and will instead scream out at the top of his lungs (which often results in the whole group being threatened with getting kicked out). Sometimes, though, when he’s in a more mellow state of mind ((a rarity for Hidan)) he’ll get the urge to do a duet (because that takes the pressure off of everyone staring only at him) and can convince Konan to go up with him. Their rendition of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” always brings the room to its feet, and gets them thunderous applause. After the song Konan will blush and kiss his cheek, which Hidan pretends to act embarrassed about (but is secretly thrilled by). His favorite song to do solo, however, is “Sympathy For The Devil” by The Rolling Stones, which he ... really ... gets into.

Kakuzu

Mostly comes out with the others as a sort of chaperone; making sure they get home safe after drinking, and trying to prevent them from blowing all their money on the “outrageously priced” food and drinks. Karaoke isn’t really his thing, and neither is being on stage in front of people. However if he’s in a decent mood, and there aren’t that many people around, he can be persuaded to get up and sing. He sings the most amazing rendition of “Ain’t No Grave (Can Hold My Body Down)” by Johnny Cash; his deep gravelly voice and slow speaking pitch are absolutely perfect for it, giving everyone listening goosebumps. Kakuzu is also a skilled guitar player, and sometimes he will sit on stage and play the guitar bits of certain songs for other Akatsuki members singing, “But I’m taking my fees out of your next paycheck.”

Zetsu

Surprisingly, this is one activity that the plant-man enjoys engaging in with the others. He’s not much of an alcohol drinker, and “human” food isn’t really his thing, either; but he loves to hear the others do their best at singing. It takes a lot to get Zetsu up on the stage himself, but when he does, he’s a fairly decent singer. He’s able to change the pitch of his voice quite effortlessly, so that it intend sounds as if two people are singing, instead of one. His song of choice is a long one: “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. It takes a lot f stamina to get through this, but Zetsu always finds that half the time he can’t even hear his own voice with this one, as everyone in the place sings with him (because seriously, who alive doesn’t know this song?). But it’s not all fun and games; Zetsu will always be scoping out the crowd, discerning who the most intoxicated people are. He’ll lure these poor souls into the alley out back, and gave himself a tasty little snack. He tries his hardest not to let the others catch him doing this, though, as this is supposed to be a fun and stress-free night for all involved.

Konan and Pein

This whole thing was her idea, yet, unless it’s a duet with one of the others, she’s very reluctant to try and sing on her own. Thinks her voice is “nails on a chalkboard”, although everyone vehemently disagrees with this perspective. Never has to bring any money with her to the bar, because all of the boys will take turns buying her food and drinks. She goes crazy for fries of any kind, and can eat carloads of these alone. Konan is exceptionally beautiful, and she will be mercilessly hit on from the moment she walks in until they all leave. Well, not always — the boys ALSO like to take turns acting as Konan’s bodyguard, and protecting her from anyone who tries to come within three feet of her. They hide their more vicious tendencies for when Konan’s not paying attention, because they know she wants a relaxing evening, but still: there’s been quite a number of guys escorted out of the bar by Kisame and Hidan, that mysteriously never return. When persuaded to sing, almost anything she chooses will be an Amy Winehouse song, as this is her favorite artist. Her favorite song is “Wake Up Alone”, which moves her fellow teammates (Pein included) to tears. Joins Kakuzu as helper to make sure everyone gets home safe and sound. Pein doesn’t like singing, and does not want to sing ... but Konan always manages to convince him to be a good sport at some point in the evening. But the song he picks is disappointingly predictable: “Pain” by Three Days Grace. Expected, maybe ... but he puts real heart and soul into his rendition, nearly falling off the stage with his enthusiasm. As with all group outings, Nagato loves to experience everything through the Pein-body’s eyes, and spend time with this makeshift family of his.

Kisame

One of the biggest drinkers, but something (perhaps his half-animalness) makes it near impossible for him to be totally drunk, no matter how much alcohol he consumes. Sometimes he’ll make a deal with Kakuzu: Kakuzu will scope out other drunks in the place, inform Kisame of their whereabouts, and Kisame will hustle them for money in either drinking contests or pool games. He’ll split the money with the old guy, making both happy. When it comes to the karaoke aspect, Kisame doesn’t really like singing, or being in front of a crowd; but decides to be a good sport and do a song lIke the others. He can sing almost anything (he has a wide vocal range), but he really seems to favor love ballads. His favorite is November Rain by Guns n Roses, and the rest of the Akatsuki is shocked at how damn soulful he sounds singing it. If not singing or hustling drunks, he likes to spend some quiet time with Itachi, buying him snacks and coaxing the thin ((TOO thin, in Kisame’s opinion)) young man to eat.

Itachi

Is quiet and shy by nature, so naturally things like karaoke bars aren’t really his deal. But Kisame always insists that it’s good for him to get out ((out of the hideout and out of his head)) and socialize once in a while, so he goes. It’s the same deal as Konan, almost, where women flock to him and hit on him for nearly the entire duration of his visit. However, the group doesn’t act as a collective bodyguard for him, as the majority of them feel like he’d be better off, as Hidan delicately puts it, “If the fucker just got laid.” But Itachi doesn’t seem interested in anything like this; he’s polite to those who approach him, but so closed-off that eventually they give up. When one particularly persistent woman wouldn’t leave him alone, Itachi resorted to grabbing the person nearest him (who happened to be Deidara) and telling the admirer that he was his boyfriend. He even put his arm around the guy’s waist, squeezing him. Deidara went along with it, but after the woman left he angrily informed Itachi that he’d “blow your ass up if you ever try something like that again, hm!” That’s what he SAYS, but it should be noted that he blushes quite hard for some time afterwards. Itachi was only ever convicted to go up and sing one time, and it was a duet with Kisame. The song was “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie. At the end of the song, Kisame was beaming, and Itachi had more admirers than ever clamoring for his attention. Not used to late nights so if they’re out past midnight will usually fall asleep sitting at the bar, and be carried home (and put into bed) by Kisame.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Facebook vs Robert Bork

Unless you're a certain kind of conservative, you probably haven't heard of Robert Bork, but he's one of the most important people you've never heard of. The best way to understand Bork is that he was Ronald Reagan's court sorcerer.

Reagan was an empty vessel with the hands of ruthless plutocrats shoved up his asshole*, operating him like a hand puppet for their collective will to power.

He served as a kind of dowsing rod for policies that would transfer wealth from the 99% to the 1%.

*Hence the polyps

That dowsing rod pointed straight at Bork. Bork was an alternate history writer, a fabulist with a unique and wildly improbable theory of antitrust statutes: that if you studied the Sherman Act and the Clayton Act with Qanon-style fervor, you'd find hidden messages in them.

Specifically, you would discover that the lawmakers who drafted, debated, amended and passed these laws thought monopolies were good, actually. They were only concerned with a small and possibly mythical minority of monopolies that were "harmful."

Not just any harms: Bork said that these ancient sages were worried about *consumer* harms, which, practically speaking, means monopolies that use their power to raise prices. This, he said, was the only thing that the government should step in to prevent.

Since it is nearly impossible to prove that a given merger or tactic would result in higher prices before the fact, and *also* it's nearly impossible to prove that a price rise after the fact was attributable to monopolism we should probably just forget about antitrust.

Reagan loved this. By shifting antitrust's focus from *democratic* harms (like reducing choice, distorting regulation, hurting workers, etc) to *consumer* harms, he could demote "citizens" (who have a role in shaping policies) to "consumers" - mere ambulatory wallets.

Reagan tried to get Bork a seat on the Supreme Court, but there was a little problem. Bork had committed a string of disgusting crimes while serving as Nixon's Solicitor General, and the Senate refused to confirm him for a seat.

(Conservatives were outraged that committing crimes at the highest level of government disqualified you from the Supreme Court and coined the term "Borked" to describe rich, powerful people who had to face the unfair prospect of being held accountable for their actions)

But Bork - along with the Chicago School economists - went on to completely revolutionize the world's conception of anti-monopoly enforcement, as neoliberal leaders all over the world (Thatcher, Mulroney, Pinochet, Kohl, etc) took up his theories and tuned them into policy.

Bork was a fringe figure, but he was preaching a gospel that stood to make the richest people on Earth *so much richer*, and they bankrolled the hell out of his theories.

For example, 40% of US federal judges have attended "continuing education" seminars at an annual lush Florida junket where they are initiated into the bizarre world of "consumer harm" theory.

https://crookedtimber.org/2018/10/18/law-and-economics/

40 years later, monopolism has surged in every industry, from bottlecaps to pharma, from poultry to pro wrestling, from eyeglasses to emergency rooms, from oil to car parts, from music to publishing to movies to online services to telecoms.

All driven by mergers, all resulting in higher prices (so much for "consumer harm") all wildly distorting of public policy (the decision to let Boeing self-certify the 737 Max is repeated in thousands of ways across hundreds of industries), all brutal news for workers.

It's a disaster, but it's one that we have been powerless to avert or address for so long as "consumer harm" ruled antitrust enforcement.

Finally, that's changing.

In 2019, Dina Srinivasan published a landmark paper: "The Antitrust Case Against Facebook," which made *incredibly* clever arguments showing that FB's democratic harms were also consumer harms, meaning FB could be sued without first undoing Borkism.

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3247362

But the magic of this work was in revealing the poverty of the consumer harm standard: she laid out the innumerable ways in which FB is bad for society and showed how a sliver of these harms were technically illegal, raising the question: why isn't *all* this stuff illegal?

Today, Facebook was hit with *two* antitrust suits, one from the FTC and the other from almost every US state (including California!).

The complaints say that FB's acquisitions of Instagram and Whatsapp were anticompetitive.

https://www.theverge.com/2020/12/9/22158483/facebook-antitrust-lawsuit-anti-competition-behavior-attorneys-general

Of course, they *were* anticompetitive. We know, because Zuck - who specializes in tripping over his own dick - sent out memos extolling the acquisitions' anticompetitive advantages, proving he hasn't learned a thing since he traded incriminating IMs about founding FB.

https://www.esquire.com/uk/latest-news/a19490586/mark-zuckerberg-called-people-who-handed-over-their-data-dumb-f/

The complaints build on Srinivasan's work and they carry the same flavor: claiming "consumer harms" in the acquisitions, but winking and nodding toward a broader, more democracy-focused (and less consumer-focused) critique of monopoly.

It's a weird tightrope act: they want to win, so their argument is designed to balance on the single, fragile hair that borkism stretches across the chasm of monopoly enforcement, but they wanna make sure we see that big sturdy bridge of nonbork antitrust right there.

If there was any doubt, it was erased by the remedies demanded in the complaints. The prosecutors aren't asking for money damages - a fine is a price, after all - instead, they want FB to sell off the companies it bought for illegal purposes.

And they want FB to get regulatory approval for future acquisitions (though the states will let it buy companies for less than $10m without approval). These are not "consumer harm" remedies - they're "democracy" remedies, aimed at removing the company's source of power.

Facebook has stood up a website explaining why it's a cuddly mom-and-pop business that's being bullied by mean government meanies:

https://about.fb.com/building-to-compete/

The argument's pretty similar to the one laid out in a leaked memo in October:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/05/florida-man/#dnr

Basically: it would be really hard for us to unwind these illegal, anticompetitive mergers. Seriously, it would cost a bundle and take so much work!

This is an unserious argument, and it shows how badly FB has misgauged the mood.

All of FB's arguments are garbage, really. Take the line that ex-British-Deputy-PM-turned-FB-salesdroid Nick Clegg has been peddling: "STOP TRYING TO BREAK UP FACEBOOK OR THE CHINESE WILL WIN!"

https://www.cnet.com/news/facebooks-nick-clegiden-must-unite-global-powers-to-shape-internet-amid-china-threat

The company's best arguments are about "market definition" - to claim that they don't have a monopoly because of all the competitors they face, provided you define FB's market broadly enough.

Like, "Here at Facebook, we are in the 'using computers' business. Now, just think of how much time you spend using a computer without interacting with FB! Your car has a computer and it's not on FB! How can you say we have a monopoly?!"

If you want to see someone making this argument as well as it can possibly be made and literally getting laughed at by a University of Chicago (!) audience, check out this debate from 2019:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Jp-GJ9LM0

Forcing FB to divest itself of Whatsapp and Instagram is a no-brainer. The company lied to secure those mergers, broke the promises it made to get permission to make them, and the penalty for that should be unwinding those mergers.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/07/dont-believe-proven-liars-absolute-minimum-standard-prudence-merger-scrutiny

And if FB fights this for a decade the way IBM fought its antitrust action, fine - IBM outspent the entire DoJ antitrust division every year for 12 years (Bork called it "antitrust's Vietnam"), but even though Big Blue wasn't broken up, they had their spirit broken.

It was fear of another tangle with antitrust regulators that caused IBM to sit idly by while Phoenix cloned the PC ROMs and created the PC clone industry, which became the US computing industry.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/08/ibm-pc-compatible-how-adversarial-interoperability-saved-pcs-monopolization

And it was the same fear that caused IBM to hire an outside company to make the OS for its PCs, getting a couple of nerds named Paul Allen and Bill Gates to supply one for them.

IBM's 12 years of antitrust hell focused the attention of every tech giant of the age, letting them know what was on their horizon if they acted like IBM had. It created the US tech industry.

Today, VCs call the businesses that Big Tech dominates "the kill zones" because they know that monopolists have the market power to destroy any startup that tries to compete with them.

There is an entire - better, more pluralistic - tech industry that's been suppressed by Big Tech. If FB and Goog and Apple and the other tech giants spend the next decades throwing billions at the FTC and the states attorneys general, it will be money well-spent.

Because it will be money that these companies don't get to spend destroying the next wave of tech companies, co-ops, and platforms.

[galvanizedfriend]

The Wolf Outtake

This is a little outtake, if you will, of The Wolf universe. It actually fits within the post-TW2 headcanons I've been writing to keep myself happy, so somewhere in S3. It's something that would never fit within the actual story because it's pure domestic fluff. lol I wrote this for @recyclingss, baby Eve's number one fan who yells at me when the child doesn't make an appearance and who’s also the biggest cheerleader this story’s ever had. 💖

This is set much later in the future, and you will notice baby Eve is actually more of toddler Eve here, but I've removed any specific context to make it so this would fit into any point of The Wolf post S2E14, I guess.

Summary: Just random KC+baby moment in The Wolf. It's fluffy, domestic, features the child and Klaus' bitter feelings for Bayou wolves. Nobody asked for it, but I figured, after the WEEK we've all had, maybe people could use some fluff? Hope you guys enjoy it! :)

______________________

Klaus doesn't even realize it's morning already until Caroline stirs next to him, making a lazy hum deep in her throat that pulls him out of his idle reverie. He blinks his surroundings back into focus; the fluorescence that had been filtering in through the windows last time he checked has now been replaced by warm sunlight. He didn’t even notice so much time had gone by.

Caroline rolled onto her side and was quickly lulled into blissful sleep after their late-night exertions. Klaus was distracted by the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest for a long time until his mind was ensnared by its usual culprits, thoughts trapped in the latest batch of torments and woes to take over the Mikaelsons’ lives. 

 When Caroline opens her eyes and offers him a slow smile, Klaus feels himself touch ground again.

 "'Morning," she slurs in that husky voice, still thick with sleep.

 "Good morning, sweetheart," he replies with a short grin.

 Caroline yawns as she stretches out her body under the thin sheet covering her modesty.

 "Did you sleep at all?" she asks, blinking sluggishly at him.

 "I'm well-rested, if that's what you're asking."

 "It's not." Caroline props herself up on one elbow to stare levelly at him. Some of that drowsiness in her eyes dissipates, disappointment panging through him for bringing her back to the harshness of reality so fast. This is why, sometimes, especially on those not-so-rare nights when he ends up not getting any sleep, he'd rather not stay in bed. It allows the reprieve that slumber offers Caroline to last a little while longer. "Is it about Elijah?" she inquires, a knowing look on her face.

 Klaus' eyes wander away from hers. "It's about everything," he states vaguely, but not untruthfully. 

 Caroline hums unconvinced. "While I know you don't need to sleep, I also know it spells nothing but trouble when you can’t. It’s never good when you spend the whole night thinking."

 "Well, not the whole night," he says with a suggestive leer. "I did spend a good portion of the time engaged in far more pleasant activities."

 She rolls her eyes at him, but her smile is more than a little satisfied when she leans into him. "You're not as smooth as you think, Mikaelson."

 "I beg to differ." Caroline chuckles, shifting under the sheets to press herself against his side, placing a kiss on his shoulder, then his neck, his jaw. Klaus snakes a hand around her back, pulling her closer still, feeling the familiar stirrings of heat in his underbelly. "Shall I prove my point?" he all but purrs.

 Caroline smirks against the corner of his mouth, her palm coming to rest on his chest. Klaus covers her hand with his, angling his face to take her mouth into a kiss. Her breasts pressing against his skin sends a tingle shooting through his body, and his other hand is already sliding down her spine, ready to guide her to straddle him, when lively conversation in the next room makes them pause.

 "Oh-oh," Caroline mutters. "I guess that means Mr. Wolfy is up early today."

 Klaus lets out a disappointed sigh.

 Eve doesn't cry so much when she wakes up anymore. Now, she either stays quietly in her crib until someone sees to her, or she starts playing with her toys. A social butterfly like her mother, she loves to engage in complex conversations with that hideous stuffed wolf Jackson gave her and her absolute favorite toy, the wooden knight Klaus carved for Rebekah when they were children.

 When he started to wake up to the sound of her talking to herself, he became worried, thinking maybe she was seeing things they weren't - which, in New Orleans, could mean a number of horrifying deals. But Caroline assured him that it is perfectly normal for young children to talk to inanimate objects, especially one who lives exclusively amongst adults.

 Apparently, it's good exercise for her imagination, or something.

 When Klaus is watching her, he will make a point to take part in her debates, always highlighting Mr. Knight's grandeur compared to Mr. Bog Scum. 

 "Sweetheart, this filthy dog here is the enemy. He wants to shroud you in flannel, carry you away to the swamp and bore you to sleep. Mr. Knight is here to save you from this stinky animal's claws."

 He's convinced one day she'll understand what he means.

 What’s most troublesome, however, is that Eve has started to attempt to climb out of her crib on her own. They always lock the other door to her bedroom when she's asleep, but the door connecting her room to Caroline's is always left unlocked for safety reasons. One of these days, Klaus thinks, their little wolf is going to catch mommy and daddy in very compromising positions. The idea mortifies him, especially because he and Caroline can get a tad carried away. They are a hybrid and a near-hybrid, after all. Too much energy and whatnot.

 "No rest for the wicked," Caroline speaks around a sigh before peeling away from him. Klaus watches her naked form with wistfulness as she climbs out of bed, his prospect of a lovely morning enterprise disappearing alongside the shape of her beautiful breasts as she shrugs on a fleece robe.

 Caroline vamps off to the en suite bathroom to freshen up a bit and then follows to Eve's room.

 "Good morning, sweet cheeks!" she greets their daughter sunnily. "Good morning to you, too, Mr. Wolfy!" Oh, for goodness' sake, Klaus curses inwardly. "And Mr. Knight!" Much better.

 Minutes later, Caroline returns with Eve, comfortable in fresh diapers, right on her heels, carrying Mr. Inconvenient and Mr. Knight.

 When she sees Klaus, she takes off towards the bed, her little legs getting more and more agile by the day. He pulls the sheets and covers up to his chest while she tries to hoist herself up. With ease, using just one hand, Klaus lifts her up and puts her sitting on his stomach.

 "Good morning, my littlest wolf," he says. "Where's my kiss?"

 His daughter leans down and smacks a loud kiss on his cheek, and then holds Mr. Fleabag close to him for a kiss as well. Klaus makes a face. "Not the dog, Eve."

 "Seriously?" Caroline says with a bored air about her. "You're antagonizing a stuffed animal now?"

 "This thing is a health hazard."

 "That thing has a cute little name, Mr. Wolfy, and your daughter loves him."

 "I refuse to treat a swamp dog as though it were a gentleman. Besides, I'm sure she loves Mr. Knight way more, don't you, love? Where's Mr. Hero?" She shouts something that sounds like Miter Nigh before pushing it onto Klaus' face. He cracks a proud smile at her. "There you go." He attacks her with tickles, and Eve bursts with sweet laughter.

 Caroline shakes her head at him, but he notices she's quite clearly biting back on a smile. "You're impossible."

 "I’m quite possible, I assure you," he replies smoothly. "Where are you going?" he asks when she starts tying her hair into a ponytail and taking clothes from her drawers.

 "Running with Marcel."

 "Oh, for goodness' sake," he protests. "Can you believe this, Eve? It's not even seven in the morning and your mother is willingly stepping out of the house to run. I sometimes fear she might be a psychopath."

 She scoffs loudly. "You would know, wouldn't you?" While she walks by him to go into the en suite, she slaps him lightly across the legs. "Stop telling my child that I'm a psycho, psycho."

 "How else am I supposed to explain this insanity? What kind of person runs for pleasure when there is an infinite array of far more gratifying activities to invest your energy into? Just now we were about to -"

 "Not in front of the small child, Klaus!" she chides from the bathroom.

 "She doesn't know what daddy is talking about, do you, love?" Eve giggles while he lifts her up above him, holding her like a flying superhero. "Blissfully clueless."

 Caroline steps back into the room, already in her exercise gear. Klaus lets out an infinitely despondent sigh. He would love nothing more than to get her out of those.

 "It's inappropriate conversation to have in front of the toddler," she remarks, putting on the smartwatch she bought recently to exercise with and measure her sleep patterns or whatever the bloody hell that is. She showed him all of this gizmo’s functionalities, swearing it’s the best thing ever invented by human minds. Klaus thinks it’s adorable, however incomprehensible, that someone with such close ties with the supernatural world would still be so impressed by technology. There’s literally nothing that cannot be sorted through magic. How is a watch that counts steps supposed to awe you once you’ve seen someone brought back from the dead? Caroline’s attachment to her humanity goes way beyond her empathy. "Besides, it was gonna be a quick activity because I'd go meet Marcel anyway,” she adds after a beat.

 "I can make you see stars in five minutes," he leers, a smirk growing on his face.

 Caroline whips her face at him with what is clearly an attempt at outrage but turns into something else when she can't hold her own smile. She can't deny him when his point was proved just the night before. Several times, in fact.

 "Shut up," she retorts simply. "Can you give her breakfast? I left chopped fruits in the fridge. You can wait about an hour after the bottle and give it to her as a little treat - not Fruit Loops."

 "She loves that thing."

 "Of course she does, it's pure sugar. That's exactly why we don't let her have it all the time. She needs to eat real fruits."

 Klaus rolls his eyes, sitting up in bed and putting the baby beside him. "Honestly, sweetheart, your mother sometimes..." 

 Caroline narrows her eyes at him. "You really love to make yourself out to be the cool parent, don't you?"

 "I don't have to make myself out to be anything, love. I am the parent who doesn't deny her the little joys of sugary treats. If that makes me cool, then you’ve only got yourself to blame." 

 "You're the parent who'll spoil her rotten, that’s what. Let's see how you'll feel when she's 16 and her boyfriend is climbing the balcony in her room in the middle of the night because she never learned how to take a no."

 "Oh, I would love for her suitors to climb her window in the middle of the night. It’ll be the last thing they do,” he says, smiling innocently at Eve.

 “You’ll be such a ray of sunshine when she starts dating.”

 “As per usual," he says with a bite of arrogance. "Hold the child so I can get decent, will you?"

 Caroline picks Eve up and keeps her looking firmly the other way while Klaus flashes out of bed and into the bathroom. He hears Caroline teasing her with “Where did daddy go?” and laughing at what he knows is Eve's extremely confused but astonished face. She thinks they're magicians. It's one of her favorite things, to watch as Klaus makes full use of his vampire speed to all but vanish right before her eyes. Modern technology has got nothing on him.

 There's something extremely heartwarming about his daughter's innocence. One day, she'll be old enough to understand why he can do the things he does. When that day comes, Klaus will cease to be a creature of magic and wonder, to become what he truly is: darkness made flesh. 

 He has never been ashamed of what he is, hardly ever had any qualms with filling the villain shoes, quite glad to do it, in fact, but he suddenly finds himself dreading the day when his child will figure out what it means to carry the Mikaelson name. When their family’s history will weigh down on her shoulders as it does on theirs.

 While making people cower in fear at the mere sound of his name has brought him an obscene amount of satisfaction and pride over the centuries, Klaus has to admit he's fascinated by the pure sparkle in his child's eyes. She's the first human being in a millennium who does not see even a fraction of monstrosity in him, no shadow, no taints, no mortal flaws. Not yet, anyway. All she sees is a funny man who makes her laugh and can hold her up with his finger, tells her stories about evil werewolves and keeps her safe and that's enough for her to adore him. Sometimes, he feels unworthy of such love. As though he's a fraud, deceiving his own daughter and taking advantage of her innocence.

 It still astonishes him that he should ever be capable of making something as pure and bright as that little girl. In a thousand years, Klaus Mikaelson has only ever brought misery and pain into this world. Eve is the first genuinely good thing he's ever done. Then, of course, she inherited all of that from her mother, who holds herself open for compassion and kindness even though she is herself in a symbiotic existence with her own beast. Caroline has taken control of her darkness in ways Klaus doesn't think he's ever seen a vampire as young as her do before. She truly is extraordinary, and every day he hopes, from the bottom of his withered heart, that Eve will turn out to be every inch Caroline's daughter more so than his.

 Klaus can still smell last night’s sex all over himself, so he takes a quick shower and puts on a pair of denims and a shirt and vamps back to the room again, just to surprise Eve. She gasps when he materializes next to her, flinching, and then starts laughing like a little maniac, reaching out to him. 

 "Remember," Caroline says as she lets Eve slide over to Klaus' arms. "Bottle, fruits. No Fruit Loops. I'll tell your other child you said hi."

 "A child who enjoys running has clearly learned nothing from me," he grumbles. “Hopefully I’ll do a better job with this one.” 

 “Start by not feeding her Fruit Loops,” Caroline remarks with a grin before she smacks a loud kiss on Eve's cheek and then one on his.

 When she’s gone, Klaus turns to look at his little wolf, watching him with those dark blues of hers as though she's studying her father. Sometimes he wonders if toddlers know more than they let on.

 "Do you want to do magic?"

 "Yes!" she practically screams, her face splitting with a wide, toothy grin.

 "Get ready, then. Are you ready?" She gives him an exaggerated nod. "Keep your eyes open. One, two..." And then he flashes out of the room with her.

______________

✨ Thanks for reading! :) If you’ve enjoyed this silly thing, please drop me a comment! Your reblogs are also much appreciated to help this reach more people. ✨

[bi-rising]

hey I just saw your post about PCOS being a hormonal issue not a gyno one while I was surfing the tag. I was diagnosed a couple months back and all my gyno did was a 2 min ultrasound and then prescribed me birth control. I would like to have actual help and more info on it but I'm not sure who I'm supposed to go to for that. Seeing as you were in a similar situation I'd appreciate your help.

seems like gynos really suck with pcos, don't they? 🥴 warning you now, this is going to be a very long post, because i'm essentially writing out absolutely everything i did and everything i've learned, so strap in for a ride aldksfjasldf

the first thing to do is research, research, research. i spent a whole week constantly on pcos websites (such as pcosaa and this article, tho fair warning, the article does use academic speech so it might not be the easiest thing to read) and watching videos and doing what i could to inform myself. the way you can know if you're looking at a credible resource is how the source defines pcos: does it pose it as a reproductive system disorder? or an endocrine (hormonal) disorder? if it talks about it as a reproductive system disorder, then it's probably wrong.

please note that i am not, obviously, a medical professional, but this is how i understand pcos works. i'll use me as an example just so i can use first person perspective, but it applies to pcos patients in general.

so, my cells are insulin resistant. that means that when i eat, my body releases, lets say, 100 (x measurement) of insulin. because my cells are insulin resistant, they say "hey, i'm only gonna use 50x of that insulin". but they still NEED that 100x to function. so my body releases ANOTHER 100x of insulin, so my cells go "ok i'll take 50x" and so while my cells now have the 100x they're supposed, to i now have 100x insulin floating around.

that extra insulin not only wreaks havoc on many systems of the body, it is the reason why most people with pcos that goes untreated end up with type 2 diabetes. the extra insulin is also converted (or spurs the creation of? i'm not entirely certain on the how here) into testosterone and other androgen (male) hormones. so your body has too much insulin, and now it has too much testosterone, too. that extra testosterone is what fucks with your reproductive system and prevents the follicles on your ovaries from maturing (which is what the 'cysts' are). it also often creates increased facial hair, acne (especially on the 'beard line'), and worse body odor. between the testosterone and the insulin, it's nigh impossible to lose weight.

also note that because your body has to release more insulin for your cells to get an adequate amount, you likely crave carbs and sugars (salty/crunchy things and sweets), and you're likely frequently fatigued, bc your body isn't, well, working correctly and it's taking more energy to perform basic functions.

secondly, take all this information that you know to your doctor. i legitimately wrote down some notes about this process in a little notebook and took it with me so that i wouldn't forget/get too anxious to bring any of it up. i also wrote down the things i had been doing to help up to that point (working out, what my diet was, etc etc) and what i was concerned about. lastly, i also wrote down what medications and supplements i had heard of in my research to see what my doctor thought of them.

my doctor's first 'attack' choice is ozempic--it's a weekly shot that helps to regulate insulin levels and also is pretty good at helping weight loss. be aware though that most commercial insurances don't pay for this, but if your doctor is good, they'll try to work around that so that you're not paying a frankly outrageous amount for it. also look out for sometime this fall, my doc said that the ozempic manufacturers are trying to get ozempic approved for weight loss (it's approved for other things) and that should help bring the price down?? anyway, that's my doc's preferred method, but because of my finances, we currently can't do that.

his second attack, which i'm now on, is metformin. it's a medication mostly used for diabetics that helps with blood sugar levels which, again, is that insulin issue. my mom has been on it for 14 years bc diabetes runs in our family anyway, so it's perfectly safe for long time use and definitely helps with keeping either away from or within the pre-diabetes phase. again, i've only been on it now two days so i can't say anything for me but we'll see how it goes lmao

he also approved of me using omega 3 (fish pills) supplements because they help balance things out in general, not just pcos, and he was good with me using spearmint, too. i'm starting out on one cup of spearmint tea a day and see how that effects me, but i've heard of people having up to two spearmint supplement pills and a cup of spearmint tea a day, too. spearmint is a 'defense', as far as i can explain it: it has (tho limited) research that it lowers the testosterone levels in women with pcos. so while it doesn't help with the insulin so it doesn't attack the source, it can help with the testosterone aspect, aka facial hair, acne, etc. i've also heard of cinnamon supplements and inositol supplements helping, but i didn't get a chance to ask about either of those from my doctor, so make sure if you want to give those a try, you talk about them and make sure they won't interfere with any of your other medications and get your doctor's approval on them, first.

thirdly, ask about what else you can do to help yourself. my doctor stressed the importance of a proper night's sleep, as well as advised to try to cut back on carbs and sugars (IMPORTANT NOTE: some people claim that you HAVE to be on a keto diet to get results with pcos. WRONG. please don't do this. keto diets are entirely unsustainable. and cutting back on carbs and sugars does not mean cutting them OUT, it just means if you want a snack, try reaching for a protein or a vegetable instead of a carb. but don't limit yourself!! please, be conscious about what you eat, and remember that sometimes yeah, a slice of cake or a serving of chips isn't going to kill you or set your pcos back. don't risk getting an e.d. just for the sake of your pcos). he also told me that the best exercise that i personally should do is either HIIT exercises or cardio, and to do at least an hour a day, even if it's 30 mins in the morning, 30 in the evening--and to work up to that so even doing ten minutes a day, then increasing it from there, is healthier and better than jumping straight into a whole ass hour. he also told me to aim for a certain heartrate. i don't remember the formula he used, but for me at 22 (based on age) he wanted me to try to aim for 150-160 bpm. again, especially with exercise, that was what he recommended for me. you're likely different from me, so ask your doctor and see what he says.

fourthly, and perhaps most importantly, DON'T BOTHER WITH A GYNO. all of this that i've gotten done for me was from my family doctor, so just the guy i go to for yearly check ups. see if you can do some routine blood work to give him (or her) as wide of a picture as possible, and then go in and talk with a regular doctor about this. a friend of mine also has a friend who actually goes to an endocrinologist to get her pcos sorted out, so that's also an option. gynos seem to just treat the symptoms; birth control gives you a regular period by helping with your estrogen, but that doesn't decrease your testosterone OR do anything with the insulin. my doc is keeping me on birth control pills just so that i have a regular cycle so we can watch and see if anything else happens to it, so it's okay to stay on the birth control, but ultimately, birth control pills don't do anything for pcos.

i know it's difficult and probably kinda scary/anxiety inducing if you're younger or just have anxiety, but you've gotta advocate for yourself in this case. you have to show the doctor that you know what you're talking about and that you're able to call him out on his bullshit if he doesn't take you seriously. also, if your doctor is helpful, don't be afraid to be frank with him about what your gyno did. like i've said with my experience, i got the validation of knowing that my gyno was wrong by explaining to my doctor how he treated me. you deserve better than what your gyno did, and you deserve to actually be treated as a person and your disorder be taken seriously.

i'm wishing you the best of luck, and i hope that you'll be able to get the help that you need 💕💕💕

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

babysit side effects

A/N: This was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy! sorry it took so long, Ihope it was worth it. Please let me know what you think, and if anyone has any requests please let me know! 

summary: Can you write a fic where richie and eddie are babysitting one of the losers kids, and it makes them realize they want a kid of their own? Thank you :)

warnings: curse words 

‘Okay, so let’s go over this again. Sophia has her first bottle of milk at 7:30 am, followed by her second bottle of milk by 11:15 am. At 12:30 she eats either fruit or a vegetable, and then at 3:15 he has another feeding time, this time a vegetable or fruit depending on what you gave her before, and then at 6:45 she has her last feed which is milk. Do you understand?’

Richie nodded somingly, even when he had to try hard to keep his laughter in, the serious and panicked look on Stan’s face too much to handle.

‘Of course Staniel, don’t you trust me to take care of your kids for a day?’

There was a beat of silence, during which Stan stared at Richie intently, trying to gauge if he was serious, or if he was just trying to provoke him. Then; ‘Off fucking course not Richie. Patty take your bags back inside, we’re not going.’

Laughter poured from Patty, who was just loading in her bag in the backseat, straitening up and walking closer to them. When she got close enough, she reached out and plucked Sofia out of Richie’s arms, her in hand holding her by her bum, while the other on supports the back of her head.

She coos at her daughter, full of love and not an ounce of annoyance anywhere visible on her entire face, despite the fact that Richie saw her slobber all over Patty’s blouse only minutes before she had to leave.

‘Sure we do Rich,’ Patty assures him while she grants his a kiss against his cheek as  goodbye. ‘Stan and I wouldn’t have asked you if we didn’t think you were up to the challenge. Besides, we’re only going to be gone for a night, and we’ll return first thing in the morning. If anything goes wrong he can call us.’

There only off to help Patty’s mom move into a new nursing home for the day and night, but it’s the first time that they’ve been away from their children since Sofia was born, and Richie insist to make their time away free of all concerns. That is if they finally leave at least.

Stan kisses his daughter on the forehead holding her close for one last moment, before allowing Patty to hand her back into Richie’s awaiting arms.

It shocks Richie’s that baby’s are so small, though he knows logically that everyone was that small at one point or another, it’s one thing to know it, and another to actually see it.

‘Eddie is here too, so there’s two of them.’ Patty and Stan resort to a silent stand-off, holding a none spoken argument that Patty wins, if her smug smile is anything to go by.

‘There are also two children, so let’s hope they can handle both.’ Richie fake gasps, moving to hold his hand up in faux outrage, but stops when he is reminded of the, albeit barely there, weight of little Sofia, who is now fast asleep on his chest.

Knowing when to be serious, Richie lets his facade drop, Bowing down to catch Stan's eyes, before smiling reassuringly. ‘We got this Stan, trust me.’

Stan smiles back without a moment of hesitation,’ I know. If anything happens to be my babies, I’ll kill you in your sleep.’ The serious expression on his face enough to make Richie gulp, regardless of the fact that he knows Stan doesn’t mean it.

‘Copy that sir.’

‘Speaking of our two babies, where’s Emily?’ Patty demands, turning in a circle in search for her but not locating here.

‘I’m pretty sure she roped Eddie into dress up and having a tea party with her, so I think for the sake of Eddie’s sanity, we should leave now.’

The bolstering laugh from Richie is way too loud on the peaceful morning most of Stan’s neighbors are experiencing, but Patty joins him, so it’s not too bad. Suspiciously, Patty pauses right after to stare longingly at her daughter, her eyes becoming a little wet.

‘Alright, let’s go. Give Eddie my best.’ She hugs Sophia one last time, then turns away to sniffle and hide her tears, no doubt a little sad a the prospect of not seeing her girls. Richie moves to comfort her, but Stan is on the case, and he can do a much better job than Richie, no doubt in his mind.

Richie stands there uncomfortably, rocking baby Sofia back and forth, and staring at her sleeping face to avoid stalking the two lovers in front of him.

He only looks up when Stan loudly proclaims their leaving, ‘come on Babylove.’ Waving at Sophia likes she’s about to wave back. After, he carefully hugs Richie’s side, avoiding squashing Soph while also deeming his goodbye to Richie.

He too is reluctant to leave Sophia and Emily in the care of Eddie and Richie, but not because he doesn’t trust them, he just finds it hard to go anywhere without them.

They still leave regardless, after ten more minutes of saying goodbye, then they finally leave, turning the corner right as Eddie comes out of the house checking up on Richie to see what was taking him so long.

When Richie turns to face Eddie, he shrieks with laughter, not managing to contain himself. Patty’s old lipstick red dress that has holes in the sides of them and a little bit of dirt on one of the sleeves looks good on Eddie, even if Richie may be a bit biased and thinks everything looks fantastic when it’s Eddie that’s wearing it, but it’s the pink crown and staff that he’s holding, and the murderous leer he’s showing, that has Richie cackling like there’s no tomorrow.

‘Don’t you fucking dare, asshole.’ Eddie swears menacingly, but Richie can’t take him seriously, not when Emily scatters out of the house to tug on the bottom of the dress, the three year old herself slipped in the princess dress Eddie and Richie gave her as a present on her birthday a few weeks back. He bets Eddie didn’t expect it to backfire this way.

‘Uncle Eddie come on’, Emily whines, the three year old wearing an frozen Anna dress that is a tad too big on her, ‘The others are waiting on us.’

The other include, mister giraffe, Amika the horse, and Elsa, all in the form of stuffed animals gifted to her by various losers when they came to visit.

‘Yeah uncle Eds, it’s rude to keep the guest waiting you know.’ Richie eggs her on, smirking in delight when Eddie unsuspiciously flips him the bird, but follows Emily anyway, off to indulge her in whatever she requests him to do.

His laughter caused Sophia to wake up again, and she fuzzily bangs her tiny fist on Richie’s chest, as if to convey that she’s mad she was awoken. He tries to bounce her gently up and down, to et her settled again, then changes his mind and enters the house on a whim, trudging up the stairs to join Eddie and Emily in her playroom.

Getting close enough to the door to hear Emily’s voice does the trick, as he expected it to. Sophia calms down, now resorted to peeking up at her uncle, a gurgle escaping her throat while she fists around a piece of his hair, giggling happily.

Richie’s heart melts a little, while he gets hit with an enormous amount of love and affection, and he starts to understand why Patty and Stan were so begrudged to go anywhere without her.

Her blanket, the one she has on her at all times, is still pined safely to the front of her beanie, bunched up in the hand that is not pulling one of his curls. He catches a glimpse of Eddie, folded nearly completely in on himself, forced to sit still in a chair that is even too small for Emily to fit in properly, sipping on a tea cup but making 100 % sure the side of it doesn’t touch his bottom lip.

Emily simpers, lifting her own teacup to her mouth with a pinky stretched up as a greeting to him, chastising Eddie like he is the kid instead of her, when Eddie stretches upwards to grab a muffin.

Doing a poor job of hiding his laughter, Eddie takes notice of Richie staring at them from the door opening, at first looking vex, but then an emotion crosses his eyes that Richie can’t define. He shakes his head and focuses back on the table, but not fast enough to stop the sentiment from getting picked up by Richie.

‘Well, it looks they’re too busy for us right now. It’s just me and you then. Don’t give me that look bumper’, the nickname Richie duped her after finding out that her name was chosen after they saw it on a bumper sticker slipping out effortlessly, not with standing the arguments of Stan. ‘She can not find out about that Richie. I swear to god, I will keep you away from her long enough until I’ve convinced her that everything you say is a lie.’

‘I can be a good replacement dad for the day, just you wait and see.’

-------------------

Five hours later, when the clock strikes 3:15 pm, Richie struggles with the preparing the baby formula, and he can’t figure out what he is supposed to do. There is milk that needs to be added, but when he mixes the powder and the liquid with one another, a sticky, soup of residue is left behind, and that is impossible to taste good.

Embarrassingly, Richie resorts to researching the internet, clicking on video after video to find the same brand Patty and Stan use, to be absolutely assured that he’s doing the right thing. Then when it finally hits him over the head that it is supposed to look like that, he can’t get the temperature right.

The first time he puts it in the microwave he warms it so hot that he can’t even grasp the bottle in his hands, dropping it and staring at the milk that leaked all over the floor, cursing his life and every decision that has brought him up to that point.

The second one is still cold, and he briefly considers giving the baby cold milk, before he remembers Patty’s warnings and places it back in the microwave, when he takes it out, it’s hot enough to make him release a hiss.

He gets more and more frustrated, his emotions pilling on top of each other to leave one huge dump of distress that he can’t possibly take on too, not alongside two kids, and it only gets worse when Sophia has a fit and starts crying.

Richie’s earlier tricks to calm her down don’t work, not even after a few tries, so with a groan, he throws in the towel and yanks out his cellphone, feeling like a complete and utter failure.

‘Hey Richie, do you know where Stan and Patty keep their desserts? Sophia is craving something sweet and I used the opportunity to have myself a little break.’

Eddie pauses when he steps foot in the kitchen, hey eyebrows coming together to frown when he takes in the disheveled state Richie is in.

‘What’s wrong?’ Richie shakes his head uselessly, his shoulders shrugging helplessly while gesturing towards Sophia who is nestled against his shoulder, her cries muffled but still audible.

‘I don’t know how to prepare milk.’ Eddie has the audacity to snort, a sound that Richie has never heard coming from him, so he’s helpless to let out a small one himself.

‘Don’t laugh at me Eduardo, I’m in a deep crisis right now and I require your help.’ Walking closer, Eddie accept the bottle handed to him, the word ‘auch’ escaping from him at the warmth burning his palm.

‘My help? Why me?’ Eddie asks, shooting Richie a questioning look. A pink red sticker is hanging on his forehead, Richie then notices, but since Eddie is apparently blissfully unaware of it, Richie keeps it to himself.

‘Well Eds, I assume you have enough experience with babies, you know. Since you were treated like one your entire life?’ He winces when the words leave his mouth, his mind too preoccupied with Sophia to think twice about what he was about to speak in existence.

‘Fuck you, dude. And don’t call me Eds asshole.’ Luckily, Eddie waves the comment away with the tip of his hand, doing his signature move where he pretends to karate chop the air. ‘Come here, give her to me for a second.’ Eddie suggests, and Richie obliges, handing her over with extreme caution, even when she very willingly goes.

‘You’re uncle Rich is a bit of an idiot huh? How about we go and see how we can prepare your- well it’s not dinner yet, let’s say afternoon snack?’ Sophia quieted down as she got comfortable in Eddie’s arms, one of his arms beginning to prep the formula, again, during which the other held her up and close.

He then leaned in to whisper something in her ear, not loud enough for Richie to decipher what they were talking about, but it caused Eddie to gleam again, and even Sophia let out a big grin, happily going along with whatever her uncle Eddie was proclaiming.

The sight of a baby in Eddie’s arms, his eyes twinkling in pure adoration, his grin wide enough to show teeth, while he rocked her back and forth, made Richie want to beg Eddie to raise a child with him.

He dismissed the idea soon enough though, for if Eddie had a wish for kids, surely he would have said something by now. But he knows already that the image was going to haunt his dreams for a long time, the mesmerizing sight of what could be, or could have been did not plan on leaving his mind any time soon.

He must stare for a tad too long, Eddie feeling his gaze upon him so he glances up, their eyes meeting. Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but before he can he is interrupted by Emily, impatient from waiting too long or her cookie.

‘Uncle Eddie, what’s taking you so long?’ She complains, rolling her eyes when she notices that Eddie is holding her sister.

‘In a minute sweety, I’m just helping uncle Rich out right now.’ Having an excuse from being in Eddie’s proximity while he’s holding a baby, Richie jumps on the opportunity to get out. The fact that he missed his other niece aswell guides his decision too.

‘I’ll play dress up with you for a while Princess Ems.’ He bows down extravagantly, acting as if there is real royalty in front of him.

‘Don’t you want me to teach you how to prepare milk?’ Eddie summons, his voice edged with a tint of confusion at Richie’s sudden interest to leave.

‘You can teach me about that later Eds, she needs her drink three times a day.’ Richie reassures him, fiddling with his thumbs while he begs Eddie to let the subject drop.  

‘But uncle Eddie was so cool, all my friends wanted to meet him.’ Emily had yet to grow out of the phase where she us jealous of her little sister, so her whole argument isn’t about Eddie specifically, it’s about her not entertaining the idea of anyone giving her sister the light of day from who she demands it from.

But that’s alright. Richie is nothing if not persuasive.  ‘Aye, that’s true but they have yet to meet me’, Richie performs, making use of the pirates accent and langue he had to learn for an audition. Emily giggles in delight, easily swayed when it involved her uncle Richie, and even more so when it had to do with his voices.

‘And if they don’t wanna know a seadog like me, I’ll force those scallywags to walk the plank. Aye. Now let’s go, heave-ho upstairs so I can be introduced.’

Emily nods enthusiastically, practically running up the stairs two steps at a time, and Richie follows with just as much energy, yelling ‘aye’ or ‘are’, every so few seconds. In his haste, he is oblivious to the same longing look Eddie gives him, when he sees him interact with a child.

-----

It’s a long day, and Richie can feel the bone deep exhaustion creeping up on him when he eventually makes his way over to the couch, Eddie dozing on the rug with the baby monitor still in his hands.

It’s not even eleven pm yet, and Richie knows that Eddie would be more relaxed in a bed than the sofa, but he also knows that they’ll be awaken more than a few times during the night, so he lets Eddie sleep.

In the wardrobe in Stan and Patty’s living room, Richie discovers a blanket, big enough to cover both him and Eddie, so he takes it, vowing to wash it before they get home. It’s soft and fluffy, and perfect to sleep with, but as soon as he tucks it around Eddie, he shits up, all sleep vanished from his eyes.

He blinks up at Richie, shuffling closer to him while disposing of the baby phone on the ground next to were they are seated, and rearranging the quilt till every part of their bodies is covered with it.

Eddie’s head lays on Richie’s shoulder, while one of his arms rubs up and down his arm and shoulder, grabbing strands of his arm hair with him sometimes, which is just what Richie needs to stay awake, the small jolts of pain keep him on his toes. And that’s necessary, he discovers over the next minute.

Without facing Richie, Eddie drops a bombshell like he’s never done before, causing Richie to choke on his own spit. ‘I want to have a baby.’

I want to have a baby, I want to have a baby, I want to have a baby, the words play on repeat in his head, ricocheting of the walls and tumbling but sticking none the less, Richie brain turning into mind numbing fizz, absolutely no thoughts besides Eddie words formulating.

The coughing alerts Eddie, who sits up straighter, looking back Richie’s way with wide eyes, as he looks on on the natural disaster that is about to concur in front of him.

When his brain comes back online, mortifying is not even big enough a word to describe the shame Richie feels for his reaction, so, he resorts to what he always does; using humor as a blockage.  

‘Christ Eds, I don’t think that possible. You know, question of having the right body parts. It’s a shame really, me and your mom.-‘

‘Beep, Beep Richie.’ Eddie interrupts him strictly. ‘I need you to be honest. No jokes, just you.’ That’s a hard task, since it’s become second nature to Richie to use it as a defense mechanism, but for Eddie he’s willing to try.

‘And before you say anything, let me talk first’, Eddie insists, waiting till he gets an approving nod from Richie to continue. ‘Today, seeing you with Sophia and Emily, I realized that you’re so good with kids. And before today I honestly didn’t think I wanted children, but I guess that I didn’t want them with Myra, but I do want them with you. What do you think?’ Eddie prompts, trying to gauche Richie’s reaction, but even Eddie sometimes has trouble doing that, and now is one of those times.

Holding his breath nervously, not even Richie’s hand grabbing his is enough to calm him down, his fingers drumming against his upper leg.

‘I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.’ Richie entrust Eddie, his body visibly relaxing when it’s clear that Richie is at the very least not going to yell at him for suggestion kids in the first place.

Their lips meet in the middle of Stan’s couch, the house around them eerily quite while the two of them are stuck in a haze together, blissfully unaware of what’s happening outside of their bubble. It’s a reassuring kiss, their lips lazily in sinc, neither in a rush, to help calm both of them down just a little, before diving head first into the deep shit again.

‘Are you sure you want to have kids with me? Because today I fucked up her stupid bottle. I mean, who can’t warm milk? And I don’t want you to hate me over something that I can’t do. I’m scared I’ll put all this weight on you and you’ll resent me for it, and I can’t have that, Eds, I can deal with everything else, but I can’t deal with you hating me.’ Richie proclaims, out of breath and sucking in large gulps of air.

Eddie pulls his face closer to his, both of his palms on either side of Richie’s head. ‘Listen to me dipshit, cause I’m only fucking saying this ones. You could murder someone in front of me, and I would roll with it okay? I came out and left my wife, and yeah, part of that was because of me, but I would have never understood what those feeling were if it weren’t for you. I love you Richie, and that’s never going to change no matter what.’ Eddie pauses, searching Richie eyes for confirmation that he understood. ‘Dipshit’, he added when he found it.

Richie let out a titter, one of his hands coming up to cover Eddie’s and leaning into the touch.

‘If you’re only worried about not knowing stuff to do with the kids, than I can help with that. That’s what a relationship is. I teach you things, and you teach me. Besides, there’s going to be a specific choir assignment, because there’s no fucking way I’m cleaning a baby’s diaper.’

‘Well then, Edward Francis Kaspbrak, it would be my honor to have a baby with you.’ Eddie’s face it up, through and through genuineness this time. No annoyance or irritation anywhere in sight, so of course, Richie had to change that.

‘Again, not biological because that would be impossible.’

‘Shut the fuck up asshole.’ Eddie grabbed a pillow to whack Richie full in the face, laughter pouring out of him when he accidentally knocked his glaces off.

‘Hey Eds, you might want to learn how to control that temper of yours, we wouldn’t want our beloved child to adapt the same words right?’

‘Seriously, I’ll fucking murder you if you don’t shut the fuck up.’

[clothingoutcast]

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[sweetsweetnathan]

Silence (Robyn x Yugiri)

[Robyn struggles with the loss of his magic. Yugiri loses her patience with him. About 2000 words.]

(First Chapter)

(Second Chapter)

-

On the bottom bunk of a bunk bed in the middle of the broiling summer night Robyn lied awake, restless and uncomfortable. Since the beginning of his training Robyn had been moved into the warehouse-turned-operational-headquarters. He lived in the tight, economical confines of a barracks with 22 other agents, including Yugiri, all of them Doman save for Robyn. It had been years, but Robyn was still familiar with these conditions as they mirrored his living situation when he served as a private in the Maelstrom. The promise of private accommodations was one of the biggest factors in Robyn's drive to become an officer, and being able to choose where he lived spurred him into becoming an agent. Miraculously it was not the sharp decrease in quality-of-life that kept Robyn up at night. He understood Yugiri's logic: If Imperial spies were watching the headquarters from afar it would be difficult for them to determine who was the commanding officer of the affair. No one saluted Yugiri, nor did Yugiri dress or position herself apart from her subordinates in any way. In fact, Robyn was more at risk than she was, being the only non-Au Ra of the operation. "The Empire has to wonder," Robyn thought once, "'Why do they have a white-haired human among them? What are they going to use him for? And why is he so bad at ninjutsu?'" But it wasn't even the threat of assassination Robyn feared. It was silence. - Morning came and it didn't take long for Yugiri to notice that Robyn absent from the company's daily group breakfast. "Where is that impossible man?" She thought. His acupuncture sessions were his first assignment every morning, and while he always made it to them on time Yugiri had begun to eagerly anticipate the day he was late. Rarely did he take the operation seriously. "In fact," Yugiri thought, "rarely does he take anything seriously," before deciding to mockingly add, "except for himself." Yes, Robyn was quick to remind everyone what a tremendous sacrifice he was making by temporarily giving up his magic. "Eorzea is losing a great talent," Robyn had said almost every day for the first two weeks. "You all should be thankful." The past week however, he had been suspiciously, mercifully quiet. It would have worried Yugiri if it didn't relieve her so much. The 24-person operation ate all their meals together, and for those first two weeks Robyn was quick to argue with anyone about any facet of Doman culture. "If your religion teaches non-attachment to the physical world, why are you currently eating?" "If your warriors are the greatest in history, why did you lose against the Empire?" Petulant, churlish questions that would just as often demonstrate him to be an ignorant fool as an insufferable genius. Yugiri didn't imagine that both temperaments could exist in the same person. She was not one to chase the rabbits of academia and philosophy; they were too elusive and lived too far down paths she had no interest in walking. This made Robyn's behavior absolutely baffling: Questioning Doman swordsmanship got him into sparring bouts he couldn't possibly win. Questioning Doman philosophy resulted in nothing but Robyn being corrected for his misunderstanding of the fundamental concepts. Yet always Robyn would find more challenges and questions to levy on his comrades. "Why?" for weeks Yugiri wondered. That is, until she received word of his progress in learning Doman custom. It was part of his training to be able to act out Doman bows, gestures, and ceremonies as if he had been living in the country his whole life. And somehow, according to him, Robyn had grown to understand these things through the spirited conversations he had spurred on over meals. Yugiri involuntarily regarded this as clever, though naturally she kept the compliment to herself. She refused to believe Robyn's "method" to be anything more than serendipitous blundering. Breakfast passed. Minutes after the facility's morning assignments began Yugiri received a communique by linkpearl: "Robyn hasn't shown up yet. It's his last session. Any idea where he is?" - The Agelyss river cut a deep creek into the land, resulting in tall rocks along the flanks of the whole riverbed that stood more than six feet above the water's sparkling surface. This made it uncommon to find a place where the ground and the river met evenly, and even if one did find such a spot it was likely contested by a jungle predator. For the last week Robyn had come out to one such spot, making a point to use only ninjutsu to clear away the wildlife. It was his own personal method of training. But while improving his ninjutsu would be a worthwhile endeavor by itself Robyn was there for another reason entirely: The sound of the river. He feared that if he went a day without hearing it that he might lose his mind. Yugiri stood next to Robyn. She didn't walk up to him or appear in a puff of smoke. She was simply suddenly there. Robyn gave a jump, then looked up and mumbled, "You're good at that." "I better be," she said, "any particular reason you're out here?" Robyn expected outrage and ridicule, but Yugiri cut to the chase. Robyn spoke slowly, saying, "Today is my last day. I figured they could wait another moment." "Well they can't. Get up and let's go." Yugiri said coldly. Robyn responded with a sigh. "Just... Slow down, okay? I get it. It's my job. It's a matter of life and death for your nation. I know these things. But listen." Robyn ceased speaking. Yugiri was waiting for him to finish his thought. "Listen for what?" She demanded. "Listen to the river," Robyn said. "It sounds like magic." Yugiri rolled her eyes. She moved to stand between Robyn and the river. "No. No more philosophy. No more questions. No more meditating. You have wasted enough of my time and energy with such things. I don't know what sort of Eorzean issue you're having, but you cannot give up now after my people spent three weeks training you." Robyn, his shoulders low and sullen, his face almost expressionless, stood up obligingly. Were he in a more lively state he would have called Yugiri out for shifting her tone from “accepting of differences” to “some problems are Eorzean problems”, a contradiction Yugiri was more than aware of but let slip in a moment of frustration. To Yugiri's surprise she did not read defiance in his posture as she did almost every other day. Robyn looked weak as he stood before her; despite his training he appeared far less the man he was when they first met. Instinctively Yugiri knew that there was something amiss with the man, but getting it out of him would mean compromising the authority of her orders. "I can do that another time," she thought, "right now keeping the operation on-schedule is the most important thing." Yugiri turned to leave, expecting Robyn to follow. Two steps later Robyn stopped and said, "Yugiri. Let's fight one more time." Yugiri did not respond, choosing instead to keep walking on in expectation that he follow. At the same time though, part of her felt something click into place; there was an agreeable certainty to his offer that appealed to her. If Yugiri were asked to verbalize this feeling she couldn't explain why she felt it, but she did know what it meant: She wanted to fight Robyn. When Yugiri and Robyn fought the first time she noticed something about the way he casted magic from his hand: It was when she was behind him preparing to strike and he shot a wide, wild blast of heat that propelled them away from each other that she noticed him slam his foot into the ground a moment before his magic ignited. It was to brace himself against the backwards shock of his blast, like a pugilist bracing to receive a punch to the stomach during training. In the moment it happened Yugiri felt herself memorize that sound. And now she heard that sound erupt from behind her once more as Robyn stomped into the dirt to brace himself for a discharge of magic. With a leap and a turn Yugiri put space between her and Robyn and faced him, drawing her daggers by reflex. She landed anticipating a blast of flame to be surging towards her that she would have to dodge for her life... But there was nothing. Robyn stood ten steps away from her, a weak smile on his face and an arm outstretched with a finger out and pointing at her. At the very tip of Robyn's finger there was a small flame, no bigger than that created by a stove. Yugiri's eyes searched for deception. Robyn lowered his hand and tilted his head back to look up at the sky; Yugiri's search found only sorrow. "That's all I can make now," Robyn said, "no more than a candle. But it's worse than that. I didn't realize it, but I actually use tiny amounts of aether to move my jaw when I talk. I use aether to lift my fork when I eat. I use it when I read, I use it when I think... But now it's gone. My magic is gone." Robyn's voice was choked. Yugiri sheathed her daggers. It didn't feel right to force him back to the headquarters at that moment. Robyn went on, "Only now do I realize how I must sound sometimes. Without my magic I can't think straight long enough to make a plan, or come up with fancy ways of saying things, or even ask interesting questions. These are the silliest things a person can do, but they were the things I did. If I could ask a question that a person never even considered, that proved I wasn't just a figment of their imagination. It proved I was real, and that I couldn't be ignored. My thoughts and words and questions probably sounded like madness to someone who couldn't feel my magic... Which of course was everyone except for me. But now it's not even me. My mind has gone quiet."

A breeze drifted by as Yugiri tried to think of how to respond. She was ready to sacrifice herself, Robyn, and everyone else under her command if she thought her mission would free the Doman people from Imperial rule. But there were still some lines she wouldn’t cross. It was a small line, likely the first to give in case of emergency, but letting (rather than forcing) Robyn come to terms with what he had to do to get the job done was one of those lines. In Yugiri’s opinion one is not a very good leader if they have to force their subordinates to follow their will.

Finally Yugiri decided what to say back to him. Not an apology, or some condescending consolation, but a challenge: “Aether? Magic? Is that really all you are?” Robyn’s attention escaped the confines of his mind and returned to the world around him. Yugiri said, “Come see me if you want to give up and run back to the Maelstrom. I’ll give you your magic back and send you on your way. I doubt you could even touch me with your ninjutsu anyways.”

Robyn’s eyes focused and unfocused. He stood looking like the wind could push him over at any moment. But he wasn’t falling. He was Self-reflecting on how Yugiri was successfully goading him. With one hand and the minimal amount of effort Robyn drew from his belt a shuriken. Then he turned his eyes to Yugiri and gave answer to her challenge.

-

Robyn returned to the headquarters with half of his body limp from Yugiri’s pressure-point attacks, half his weight carried on her shoulder as she aided him by dragging him along. For once in his life he said nothing. But he was thinking, slow as he did, about what had happened, and was yet to happen still. The operation itself would start soon, and with it would come an opportunity to find himself... Or find himself lacking.

[shianhygge-imagines]

[DMC Reactions] The Kids Are Alright

AN: For some reason that title was the first thing to come to mind. Huh. And I don’t even know what it really means... >.>

Sorry if this is a little short. I am slowly, but surely getting the requests done. Haven’t been able to write much the past few days. Gonna try to get as much writing done as possible before I go abroad next week.

|Masterlist Link|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dante

So, when these unfortunate situations happen, it’s usually because Dante went way over his head.

Always seems to be the case with this family.

His kid is a bit mellowed out compared to Dante... I mean... having Dante as your father, you’d probably have to compensate and learn to be a little more mature.

Dante’s s/o doesn’t have a problem with either of them going out on hunting gigs together, because she knows that their demon blood would protect them if father and child didn’t protect each other first.

Both father and child go a little overkill... but Dante definitely gets carried away with showing off his skills to his kid.

This leaves Dante with too many openings for the demons to attack him at.

“WoOOHHHOOO! You see that, c/n?” Dante hollered, Rebellion spinning in his hand and cutting up a demon. “One day you’ll be as good as your old man!”

Before either father or child could react, an armored demon charged at Dante, roughly smacking the younger Sparda twin across the room where several other demons grouped up on him.

There was a flash of light, and Dante’s kid stood between him and a pile of demon bodies already disintegrating into ash, their own blade and gun drawn. A cocky smirk appeared on their face, so closely mirroring Dante’s own. “I’d say I’ve already surpassed you... old man.”

Dante tsked as he got to his feet, dusting off his jeans as he gave his kid an appraising stare, a smirk on his face. “Ha! You’re getting cocky, kid. Round two!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vergil

Seriously... Vergil deserves the award for “Shittiest Dad in the World.”

I mean... one would expect any and all descendants of Sparda to have to be able to defend themselves from potential dangers, sure. But Vergil kind of takes it a bit far with his efforts in training his kid(s).

While the other three dads can have fun while training, Vergil’s kind of a fun killer. Joy kill. and all that jazz

But his kid will be strong without a doubt. Just really rebellious

I feel like Vergil and his kid would be out training one day and then they get ambushed by demons because the demons have figured out the time frame where Vergil likes to take his kid out for their daily training session.

It’s like an attempt to end Vergil and prevent his line from continuing.

After dispatching the ambush of demons, Vergil might run off to pursue any fleeing demons, leaving his kid to trail after him.

His kid will follow... but at their own pace because they’ve begun to see Vergil’s arrogance in his power, and kind of want to see if their dad is as tough as he claims to be.

When Vergil doesn’t see his kid immediately following after him, he gets worried (but he’ll never admit it) and gets sloppy (just a smidge) in his thoughts that his s/o might kill him for losing their kid. (He has every right to be worried, his s/o can totally take him on)

Vergil has his back turned, eyes searching for his kid when a demon tries to pull a fast one. Vergil’s usually fast, but he fumbles a little, slow in reaction, and has to brace himself for a hit

His kid suddenly comes barreling out of nowhere in an aerial somersault of blades, instantly killing said demon. All his kid does when they face one another, is smirk.

And Vergil becomes simultaneously proud, but competitive at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nero

So, hey, let’s pretend that it’s Nero and Kyrie’s kid, k? Cause I love the canon ship.

Kyrie wishes that her child didn’t ever have to fight, but as a descendant of Sparda, it’s nigh impossible to live a life without getting attacked.

That’s why Nero starts to train his kid at an early age. 

He wants his child to be able to defend themself.

Of course, Nero also takes into consideration that he wouldn’t be around all the time to protect his kid and Kyrie. So if his kid knows how to fight, then it’s a bit of a weight off Nero’s shoulders.

Nero’s kid looks up to him so much, trying to copy their father’s snarky behavior and skill. They come off weak in delivery because they can emulate all they want, but they can’t be the exact copy of their father.

Nero’s happy that his kid looks up to him, but he wants them to figure out how to be themselves and find their own way of doing things. He’s scared shitless that he’ll make a mistake in teaching them because he’s never had parents before. So he tries not to be too overbearing.

As a result, their training sessions are largely just sparring unless Nero has a pretty easy mission to do. Kyrie doesn’t like it, but Nero will often drag his kid with him for some guided experience.

Just copying Nero’s moves against demons, however, quickly causes Nero’s kid to be backed into a corner, and Nero throws himself in front of his kid before a demon can get a good hit.

Seeing their father wounded because of them, Nero’s kid would go absolutely berserk on the demons, their outrage giving them an instinctive fighting style that works better for them.

And damn, is Nero proud. Once all the demons are gone, Nero gives his kid a hug, telling them that they did great, and that he thinks they’ve improved so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

V

No doubt the most average parent of all the Sparda Boys, V probably doesn’t like sending his kid into dangerous situations... of course, because V’s s/o likes to make sure that everyone in the family knows how to properly defend themselves, V’s kid will be a force to be reckon with

Despite becoming his own being, V is still rather weak physically. Sure, he still has Nightmare, Shadow, and Griffon as his familiars, but he still gets tired rather easily.

V’s kid is not like him. They cannot summon familiars to aid them. Instead, they are physically healthy, and are close to Nero in power. Practically brimming with demonic energy.

As such, they were trained more by Nero, Vergil, and Dante than V, though they will make the effort to spar with their father as much as possible.

Because of this, V is often unsure of how well his kid fights.

When V and his child go out, they sometimes encounter demons ready to harm them.

During these times, V will often fall back into a defensive position, fight from afar. His kid, however, would rather fight on the front lines alongside Shadow, Griffon, and Nightmare.

Because of their training with the other Sparda Boys, V’s kid might pick up a bad habit or two... namely charging in without thinking. In this case, V is forced to let his guard down in order to better cover his kid.

Just when a demon is about to attack V, and Shadow and Griffon are too far to recall, V is actually surprised to find that his kid had practically flown across the room to skewer the offending demon, screaming a “Get away from my dad, you piece of shit!”

V is simultaneously proud of his kid’s skill and horrified at their bad language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a Ko-fi!

[ravenbloodau]

The Damned Mission

She had seen the first mission fail. She was there with the rookies on that ship, and had watched her teammates die.

Now it was time to try again. The AI drone had already saved a good few of the team, carrying the smaller ones off to safety and to regroup.

She and her team now had to perform. The moved cautiously and quietly throughout the halls of the complex, taking out guards like silent assassins when they found the new headquarters.

Or, what they had been told where the new headquarters of the operation. The holes in the walls were the first clue that something was off, and instantly she recalled what had happen not two years ago.

"EVERYBODY OUT!" Too late, the arrows flew and embedded themselves into their targets, and her teammates fell onto the floor. She felt a couple of arrows lodge into her backside just before blacking out herself..

In her mind, at this point, they had already failed.

She woke to a screen and people typing rapidly. Pain seared her backside as she watched the messages.

"We can't talk about this out loud."

"We all know that! Yo, boss, you're up!"

"Yea, I'm up," She typed rapidly, "Remember to CLOSE OUT THIS TAB OR CLOSE THESE LAPTOPS, they don't know we can do this, and this is where we failed last time."

"Hello spies," a man crept up behind her, gently closing the laptop and meeting her face to face, "Like the veiw?"

"I'm a little disappointed," She laughed at him, "I was hoping to be closer to the window."

"Ah, unfortunately you woke up last, so you have your spot," He came right back with a playful sneer.

The pain and pressure mounted as if the arrows had been kept in her backside and she couldn't help but react to the sudden, loud, monstrous pang that hit her.

She rolled onto her side and grunted as it bloody well hurt, and the man blinked..

"Are- are you still in pain?" He was surprised by the development.

"Yea, think I got hit with an extra doseage," She snapped at him, "It's bad.."

"That's impossible unless you got hit with the- Who are you?" He bolted over, alarmed now. They didn't want to kill them, not after that first group. They had missed out on so much vital information that it *fucking stung*. Plus, it was such a waste to kill these beings.

"Fuck it," She muttered as she dropped her disguise. The Si'Nian from before, twisted in agony, "I'm *that* bitch."

He lifted her head into his lap, and was shaking, biting his hand as it registered..

"Shit, why didn't you tell us?" He mumbled as he called for medical, "You asshat, being raised by humans, why didn't you say something?"

"What?" She laughed as the pain started to drown out most anything else, "What are you talking about?"

The rest of her crew watched as tears started dripping. She was dying, she knew that, but how they had figured that out was unbeknownst to her.

"Fei'Kat, right?" He asked as he ripped off his mask. No..

No way.

It was Daniel.. *That* Daniel.. A Kirin known to spare his previous victims in new attacks if they got caught in the crossfire.

"Andreomda's a small place huh?" Fei'Kat mumbled as her vision got spotty, "Hi asshole."

"Oh lord, no no no, HURRY UP!" Daniel barked at his men, "Look, I'm so sorry, all of you. We never meant to kill that team, or to hurt yours. Killing's such a waste, if you had just given us a name we would have been able to give you what you needed."

A collective "what" crossed everyone's lips. He was willing to do *what?*

"WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!" One of her teammates snapped, "YOU'RE SERIOUSLY TELLING US THAT YOU WOULD HAVE SPARED THE FUCKING BULLETS IF WE GAVE YOU A DAMN NAME?!"

"HEY!" Fei'Kat barked, her voice dropped off a cliff, signaling that it was getting worse, possibly because of the allergic reaction that she was having to the sedative, "Watch your mouth. This mission takes priority over your outrage."

She nearly nodded off after that, and Daniel was having a hard time keeping her awake as medical tried to keep down the inflammation.

"Sir you are *very* lucky not to have hit her neck, no wonder she's in so much pain," One of the doctors grumbled as they injected her with something, "If we had she'd be dead by now. Get her to Medbay, and her crew. Laying on this damn floor, not matter how clean it is, is stupid."

"Ooh relocation, sweet," A younger member of the crew muttered sarcastic as ever.

"I said shush, I may be dying but I'm still your commanding officer," Fei'Kat laughed it off as a stretcher was brought in.

The youngest of the team, Gaia, a hybrid between the Si'Nains and Kirins, had a strong emotional response to hearing that. *Intensely strong.*

She kept silent, but the color of the fur tufts around her tail flashed a deep blue. Sorrowful as the stretcher was taken away, carrying Fei'Kat away for treatment.

When they had left, she started crying, quietly. *Dying.* She knew what that felt like, how much it hurt, painful.

"Gaia?" Micheal, the one who's outrage had gotten Fei'Kat to bark at him to shut up, "You ok?"

Gaia shook her head, "I know how much it hurts, dying. To think that possibly.."

"Look, she'll be alright," Daniel started working to help the others to their feet as he administered the antidote, "She's in good care now."

"You talk big for having a torture chamber like this bub," Micheal moved to defend Gaia.

Ti'Dak moved toward the door, ready to bolt and help others bolt if things went wrong. Everyone was some level of dizzy, a blood rush to the body.

"If I wanted anyone here dead, as in actually wanted you dead, I would have you killed already," Daniel warned, a bit feircely, "Now, we'll take care of you, to the best of our ability, and open communications again with your sector."

It was the hardest "I'm sorry" Daniel could have mustered. He wasn't accustomed to apologizing much, but he was trying to get better.

"The people of Earth have been harassed by you, and now you wanna open up the sector?" Micheal scoffed, "Even as a human, I find that absolutely irrational. Like, what the fuck?"

Daniel's tail lowered as he gulped.

"I'm sorry, it's...complicated," Daniel mumbled as the other members of the team looked around to one another.

"Complicated? Sure, ok..." Micheal shook his head.

Gaia was humming to herself now, quietly fiddling with a familiar tune as they were escorted out and to respective quarters. No one dared ask for any changes, or about curfew.

In fact, no one even asked to see Fei'Kat, they just made their way over to the Medbay. Nobody stopped them now, it didn't matter.

Gaia was the first to test this, despite being incredibly vulnerable. She walked in and saw that Fei'Kat was still being treated for her allergic response.

"Fei?" Gaia asked and the doctors looked up. They nodded, inviting Gaia to step closer as they recognized her as a doctor too.

"Hm? Gaia?" Fei'Kat was barely aware of her situation.

"I'm here, Captain, it's alright. The crew's been given quarters, and I just thought I should come and visit. See what caused the reaction," Gaia was quiet and Fei'Kat nodded.

"Give her the report," Fei'Kat mumbled, "Turns out biology hates me."

Gaia read over the report and sighed.

"Ker'Tak be praised for helping invent these antidotes," Gaia muttered as she scrolled through the report. Her tail flicked up, annoyed, "Anaphylactic shock, as a reaction to residual, fucking bullshit! Who the friggen hell gave you your doctorates?"

Gaia let slip her not so tempered origins with that touch of berating.

"Chill, it's fine," Fei'Kat nodded to herself, "At least they're trying to help."

"Trying to and failing, *move over,*" Gaia got to work, shoving the Jin-Sekt out of her way. They grumbled and went to get the antidotes.

"Gaia," Fei'Kat was nodding off again, and this time she knew she wasn't going to wake up again, "Gaia, tell the crew.. The mission still.." She rasped as pain hit her throat like a bloody fury, "Still takes priority."

She swallowed hard as she tasted that familiar tang of blood. It hurt to stay awake, and Gaia paused for a minute.

"Tell them yourself, you gotta stay," Gaia was fighting off the need to sleep herself. The agent they had used hadn't worn off quite yet, but it was getting there.

Fei'Kat shook her head, tears starting to stain the sides of her face. She was seeing stars, and was terrified. *Stars help Gaia,* she thought as Gaia started working frantically, *She needs the temperance you showed my mentor.*

Micheal came into the Medbay, but stopped just short of the center room. His eyes went wide was he watch Gaia working. Her horns were glowing a throbbing purple and black. Greif and fear..

"Gaia?" Micheal approached cautiously as Gaia frantically worked.

"*Not now,*" Gaia never pushed anyone away like that. Not to Micheal's knowledge.

*It's gotta be pretty dire if she's pushing everyone out,* Micheal thought and that's when the pang hit. It was like a blazing knife had been dragged across his chest, he had to take a knee.

"Fei'Kat," He hissed through his teeth, "C'mon, you can beat this."

Gaia looked over. Her heart stopped dead in her chest. Micheal was Fei'Kat's...

*He's her lifeline,* Gaia ran up to Micheal, helped him up and led him over to Fei'Kat.

"Micheal?" Fei'Kat rasped, tearfully watching as Micheal started having a hard time, "Mikey?"

"Fei? It's that bad?" Micheal asked, breathless now, "C'mon, you can fight this."

Fei'Kat's vision blurred with tears as she watched Micheal suffering. She shook her head, crying hard now, unable to control the painful gasping.

"I can't!" Her cry was Gaia's cue. It was risky but she went through with her plan. Fei'Tak's eyes grew wide as a gutteral scream rose from her throat. Micheal's guy wrentched at the sight, seeing Fei'Kat in so much pain.

"Fei, Fei'Kat! FEI!" Micheal's voice rose above hers as her claws dug into the bed, "Fei, I'm right here!"

It got quiet rapidly after. The monitors beeped loudly as a sudden wave of calm hit the entire bay. Gaia was watching, waiting as Fei'Kat blinked.

Just like that, the agony had vanished. An otherworldly calm embraced her as Micheal suddenly found the strength to stand upright on his own.

"There..." Gaia sighed, "That should do it."

"How did you know that would work?" A Huamia inquired, in awe at Gaia's handiwork.

"I know my patients like the back of my hand," Gaia told them plainly, "Now, they need their rest, it's been an ordeal for everyone. Preferably you'd let them stay together."

"Yes ma'am," The other doctors in the room moved quickly to get the two into their own room so they could rest.

Gaia left the Medbay, tail flicking about as she opened the door to get assigned quarters.

One thing that Fei'Kat had right, was that someone was going to experience the worst pain in their life. Whether it was her or Micheal though, she couldn't tell.

Ti'Dak came into her room to find her absolutely wiped out. He sighed and left, knowing that maybe tomorrow she'd feel better. He had no idea that she just performed the riskiest operation known across Andromeda.

The Phoenix Operation, as the High Council called it. Performed successfully only once before, and even then they had every precaution in place.

Gaia couldn't care less if she died in her sleep because of the aftermath, she just needed to know that Fei'Kat and her Chosen were safe, and would recover.

It wasn't gonna end here, not for Gaia, she knew this going to sleep so soon after. She hadn't found her Chosen, yet.

And, after all this mess and the Galateans claiming that the stars had a mighty fate planned for her, she wasn't worried. Death would not prevail today, nor would it tomorrow.

She could sleep easy in knowing that. Everyone could sleep easy in knowing the mission had just completed itself. They had reunited the rebel forces with the High Council and had fair run of the entire station.

It was finally safe for their people to come *home*.

•End•

||Or is it?||

[paranormal-playgr0und]

The Roswell UFO Playground

Introduction:

Hello Ghoul Friends! This week’s topic is on the infamous Roswell UFO Incident. This week, I thought I’d do a report on something that happened in July, and something other than ghosts and demons. This report might be a little different due to the topic, there will be more text in the history portion than the hauntings portion, much like the second ParaPlay report.

I would like to mention that I have started a new job, and due to some new time constraints, I might not be able to spit out a report every other week- although I will try my very best!

I would also like to mention that I’ve been thinking about making this blog available as a podcast, so you can listen to the reports on the go. This is something I’ve been considering greatly, and it will probably happen in the near future- so heads up!

Now that’s all out of the way, grab your tinfoil hats! It’s time for the Roswell UFO Playground!

History:

It’s the beginning of July 1947. Local Newspapers in Roswell, New Mexico have been running the same story since the end of June- people have been spotting flying saucers in the night sky. Could it be linked to the army base and air field nearby?

Many people still didn’t believe in the sightings, and mainly chalked them up to be fake news. However, tensions were still high- though people didn’t believe in the sightings, they still looked out for them, out of sheer curiosity. It wasn’t until July 7th, did people start believing in the news stories.

The date of the crash and discovery aren’t fully agreed upon. It is said that sometime in late June or early July did rancher W.W “Mac” Brazel found the wreckage of what he believed to be was a flying saucer. The wreckage was thought to be rubber, tinfoil, and heavy paper.

(Pictured: Major Jesse A. Marcel with the debris found on Brazel’s ranch.)

In today’s terms, if I told you that I found tinfoil, paper, and rubber on my lawn- you would automatically think the debris was of a weather balloon. However, because of the recent UFO sightings in Roswell, and the coincidence of the whole situation, people didn’t buy the idea that what had landed in the Brazel Ranch was a weather balloon.

Upon finding the wreckage, Brazel reported the crash to the Roswell sheriff, George Wilcox. In turn, Sheriff Wilcox called a local Major at the local airbase. Major Jesse A. Marcel and a man in “plainclothes” appeared at the door of the Brazel family home and took the debris.

Following the confiscation of the wreckage, Major Marcel reportedly tried to re-construct the wreckage, and even tried to make a kite out of the pieces.

Yeah, I’m shocked too. The first thing this guy does is try to make a kite out of the wreckage. If I’m not mistaken, that’s damaging evidence, Major Marcel.

After the United States Government apprehended the evidence, the next day, an interesting statement was released to the public by the RAAF (Roswell Army Air Field). 

  “The many rumors regarding the flying disc became a reality yesterday when the intelligence office of the 509th Bomb Group of the Eighth Air Force, Roswell Army Air Field, was fortunate enough to gain possession of a disc through the cooperation of one of the local ranchers and the sheriff's office of Chaves County.”

(Pic cred: https://whataretheanswers.ecorrect.net/the-roswell-ufo-crash-1947/)

People went absolutely ballistic when they saw the statement. Almost everyone in the state of New Mexico believed that aliens existed, and they were in New Mexico.

The day after the initial statement, RAAF releases another statement, this time claiming that the debris was from a weather balloon. They also released pictures of Major Marcel with the wreckage as proof of the weather balloon statement.

People became suspicious after the second statement. The excitement of the government detailing the wreckage of a UFO had sunken in, making it almost impossible for people to believe that it wasn’t a UFO. Releasing another statement, a day after the original one only increased the suspicion.

Recently, the United States admitted that the weather balloon story was indeed a cover. The wreckage was actually from spy technology. At the time of the crash, the United States was on the brink of the Cold War, and stating that the Roswell UFO Incident was spy technology makes quite a bit of sense.

However, many people still believe that the Roswell UFO Incident was extra-terrestrial.

The depiction of Roswell aliens is called Grey Aliens, or Roswell Aliens. Grey Aliens are what are depicted as aliens today. They have the green-grey skin, large bug eyes, small bodies, and big, elongated heads. This depiction didn’t seem to appear until 20ish years after the Roswell Incident when it was leaked that the government supposedly recovered an alien body from the crash.

In 2001, a man created a fake video that looked like the corpse of an alien from the Roswell crash. This video sparked national outrage and got worldwide attention. The creator of the video also used the Roswell Alien as the alien character.

Before the Roswell UFO Incident, aliens were widely depicted as humans in odd or funny costumes. They were also depicted as crab-like, skeleton-like, humans.

(Pic cred: https://www.outerplaces.com/science-fiction/item/4729-aliens-before-roswell Picture depicts the moon aliens in the 1900 film, “A Trip to the Moon”)

Sightings:

Today, people do report sightings in Roswell New Mexico. A website called UFOstalker.com gives viewers an interactive map to see what UFO sightings are near you. There is also a similar map on History.com’s website that details “UFO sightings taken seriously by the U.S. government.” This map also includes a few sightings in the United Kingdom, another active hotspot for UFO sightings.

Unfortunately, the sightings in Roswell today could be similar to a Bates Motel situation.

Bates Motel has racked up a large reputation over the years. The actual Bates Motel in Coeur D’Alene, Idaho is rumored to be haunted, but no one knows if this is true or not. People do report activity in certain rooms, but due to the media coverage and reputation of the hotel in the entertainment industry, the activity can be easily ruled as nothing.

This could also be the case for Roswell New Mexico. People do report seeing lights at night, but nothing like abductions, landings, and usually only a small group of people see the lights. Circumstantially, the other sightings seen after 1947 can be de-bunked. It seems that the Roswell UFO incident was more of a one-time situation, and rakes in tourism even though a large incident like that will probably never happen again.

And it’s no wonder anything like that would happen again, the world could have possibly learned of the existence of aliens, which is something the government probably doesn’t want us to know. The fame surrounding the Roswell UFO Incident could have easily scared off anything extra-terrestrial- if you believe in that.

The Re-Cap:

The Roswell UFO Playground has been deserted of kids for years.

In 1947, a family that lived next to the playground claimed that they witnessed the murder of a kid on the playground, and the remains were buried in the sandbox. Alarmed by this, government officials went out to the playground to investigate.

The official report as to what happened, or if the claims by the family were even true, was never released to the public. Many people believe the family’s claims, even though they were never truly confirmed.

The swings squeak when used.

The chief investigator did once comment that they found dog bones in the sandbox, not human bones, but no one believes them.

Years later, the chief investigator commented that the dog bone story was fake, and they had found a fossilized dinosaur egg under the sandbox instead. No one believed that either.

Media heard of the Roswell UFO Playground and spread the news of the story. The coverage made the Roswell UFO Playground a tourist destination.

Part of the playground is rotten, and kids are advised not to play on that side of the playground.

In the present day, many grown-ups and big kids go to the Roswell UFO Playground to see if anything truly did happen in the sandbox. Occasionally, people report finding small finger bones in the sandbox and buried around the field. These claims catch attention but are quickly debunked and forgotten.

In 2001, a big kid who visited the Roswell UFO Playground took a picture of a tiny, human skull, thought to be of the child’s. After national media coverage, the big kid finally admitted that the picture was fake.

The net on the basketball hoop is missing. The paint on the metal slide has been faded from the sun.

No kids have been spotted at the playground since 1947.

[rirururu]

Okay, this turned out way more angst than I thought it would ;-; I hope you enjoy it anyway! I think the next prompt I do will be more light-hearted and less plot oriented.

Also, GUYS! Please check out the amazing art that IchigoJam2009 has drawn for my fanfics. They've done four so far: two for Green-Eyed and Yellow Hair that had me laughing and squealing, one for Love at First Song that gave me so much warmth to see, and one for How to be a Good Boyfriend that made me smile. I went back and edited my work to include the art at the bottom of the page of the first chapter of each of these fanfics so please take a look and give the artist lots of love! ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Click here for ao3 version or go to “Keep Reading.”

If Zenitsu had to describe Kaigaku in one sentence, it would be two-faced.

He acted sweet around Gramps, around their neighbors, and around everyone who knew Zenitsu on a deeper level than just face and name. He only found this out when the two of them were forcefully paired together on a history project at their college. The older boy made it no secret as soon as he heard the news that he’d rather choke on a fish than work with him.

And come on! That’s just going too far- Zenitsu was at least better than a fish! It was inconsiderate. It was brash. It was immature, AND he’d belted it out right in front of their professor like that rebel in every high school movie. They were adults now. Please accept some responsibility and filter out your words or else no one will like you!

Back then, Kaigaku had done nothing but tsk and look away.

Their relationship continued like that for a while. The blue-haired heart throb was an angel around others, complimenting them for the most mundane of things. Sakura-chan got one inch cut off her hair? He was the first to notice and comment. Murata bought a new pair of shoes? He’d ask where he got it from because they were cool (they absolutely weren’t). But if it was Zenitsu who walked in with his hair cut shorter or in a washed dress shirt, smile on his face, Kaigaku would ask why he’s trying so hard and that it was pathetic to watch. It hurt. It embarrassed him and made him want to go home. His day always seemed darker after. He won’t deny that.

No matter how high Zenitsu’s grades were, not once did he suck up to him for their project. On the contrary, he’d judge each of his movements on the keyboard with disdain. Outrage over why his forefinger kept hitting the wrong button, or how dare he interpret this piece of music in that way were common in the form of insults thrown on him. Clutching three textbooks between himself and the other boy, he’d just cry and cower away like always.

The weirdest thing was this whole thing probably intrigued Zenitsu more than it should have.

Am I going insane?!

Probably.

Girls never hesitated to throw nice words around. They’d treat Zenitsu well, put on a pretty smile and a curtsy if it got him to pay for their food or jewelry more time (Why do you need two bracelets? You’re going to question my tastes? Rude. I’m sorry-! Please buy as much as you want!). It may’ve been a day or a week or even a month later, but it wasn’t long before Zenitsu spotted them again under the arm of another guy at the mall. The clink of matching bracelets accompanied the crushing melody of his heart breaking.

Kaigaku wasn’t like that around him though.

He gave him attention. It was painful. But it was still the attention that he’d never gotten from anyone else except Gramps before.

So when on the day that their project was handed in, Kaigaku wordlessly shoved him into a deserted lecture hall and crashed his lips against his, Zenitsu didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. He accepted those arms around him, even as one hand pushed painfully against his shoulder and his back was bruised by the chalkboard.

He properly freaked out after. He was just kissed by a guy. He just KISSED HIM BACK! All the ladies had to mourn the loss of one more eligible young bachelor for the taking. Wondering where he went wrong, that was only the second time he ever really raised his voice against Kaigaku. The first time was their initial meeting. “W-We definitely need to talk about this…! Y-You can’t just push me around all the time and give off the impression of hating my very existence just to KISS ME LIKE THAT-”

“Everyone hates you.” Kaigaku only wiped his mouth off with the sleeve of his jacket. He scoffed. “You’re weak. You’re dumb as bricks. You’re the ugliest in the class, and you don’t know the first thing about music. Do you seriously think you’ll ever be noticed by someone like me again?”

Zenitsu had never been shut up quicker in his entire life.

Not even one of Gramps’ roundhouse kicks would’ve worked so chillingly well. It was the first time he’d ever experienced the horrible sensation. As their encounters in the empty classroom grew frequent, as the number of times that Zenitsu could call Kaigaku his boyfriend increased, so did the bruises and cuts on his back and arms. Weeks, months, even a whole year passed after their first kiss. He became quieter after that.

But…

People always said he was too loud, so maybe that was a good thing?

Kaigaku was making him a better person. The shame he felt gave birth to affection.

Which made it all the worse when it was ripped from his hands.

Genya was with him at the time. One of the only other people in the college aside from Murata who would hang out with him, the hollowed eyes and sunken shoulders of the blond were alarming him in ways he couldn’t decipher. Finally deciding to take action, he invited his friend out for bowling. In addition to archery, it always helped him relieve his anger and stress and some part of him hoped it would work for him as well.

“I can’t.” Zenitsu had only said, packing his bag without even looking at him. “Kaigaku would get angry if I was alone with someone.”

“What do you mean you can’t- you know what!” Genya was too lost to even comprehend their relationship. Instead, he shifted aside so to pull an unsuspecting Murata into their aisle. “YOU, this guy will come with us too!”

“My name isn’t ‘this guy.’” The black-haired boy was already crying. “Be more considerate to normal people like me.”

Murata did tag along anyway despite complaints. He, too, was worried about Zenitsu and the shared look he had with Genya confirmed their goal of cheering him up. They booked the biggest lane in the hall before even boarding the bus. It was pristine with lights flashing in fun shapes for each type of strike that was thrown. They were even served food in between turns.

It was when Murata excused himself to the bathroom that Zenitsu saw it. Fry halfway to his mouth and Genya lamenting about his score, his sight picks up on a silhouette about five lanes away from them.

It was Kaigaku, lip locked with a girl.

Zenitsu’s vision turned white.

Some part of his ears registers Genya’s voice yelling after him, but he can’t be bothered to interpret what he said. Before he even knows it, he’s dashing out of there as quick as possible. He just- he just had to get away. Anywhere far. That little voice in his head that had been substituted with Kaigaku’s and consequently keeping silent for a year suddenly rains down on him like hail.

Pathetic.

He is.

Not even caring, he bursts into the doors of the first bar that he finds. Zenitsu wasn’t a drinker. He didn’t like the way it clouded his ears and made the sounds of everyone around him murky and dark. Still, he slams his wallet down on the counter. Without pretense, he looks the bartender in the eye with tears pricking its corners. The noise didn’t even make anyone else in the room flinch. “Give me the strongest thing you have.”

The gentleman with a moustache doesn’t question it. This was a bar, after all.

Zenitsu complained about a lot about things. If an essay was a little difficult, he’d say it’s killing him. If he was given too many responsibilities by his classmates, he’d say he’s going to die from all of the stress. It was an exaggeration of course for when he was avoiding the trouble it’d take to do something. But for the first time in his life, he didn’t avoid it. He ran straight to it, wanted to drink and drink aND DRINK until he felt like he was going to die.

He thought Kaigaku was different. He thought that there was actually someone who genuinely liked him and would want to be with him. Stupid, useless Zenitsu with your impossible thoughts! Ah, there it was again. And for each echo, he gulped down another mouthful like it was his life’s nectar.

It didn’t take long for him to become blackout drunk. Everything was hazy. The sounds buzzed like a guitar playing off-tune to a blaring horn. His head hurt. He clutched it but it didn’t go away. And soon enough, Zenitsu couldn’t even remember where he was anymore.

But did it matter?

Suddenly, it felt like nothing did. That part of his head, freed by the restrictions of rational thought, commanded his arms like a puppet. The strings of his mind were his own undoing- for he had his phone clumsily hitting the table as he tried to understand the difference between swipe and press. He eventually did get the device to do what he wanted. Soon enough, he found his body swaying drunkenly to the ring tone as the call connected.

When the brisk sound of breath indicating that someone picked up finally arrives, Zenitsu screams.

He screams because it feels like it’s what he’s been holding it in for months now. His loud voice and obnoxious personality that was stuffed down somewhere deep inside of him since the second Kaigaku started giving him love burst out. The drunk shackles of his brain couldn’t hold them any longer.

Some part of him wonders if he managed to break Kaigaku’s ears with it.

“I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, you ASSHOLE…!” His garbles and noises eventually form words. It’s like a dam is let loose as water drips from his eyes like a clogged tap. He bawls. It’s ugly. He doesn’t care. “You always said I was too cowardly to aim high, BUT I wanted us to move in together in a perfect house with a white-picket fence.” It was a dream of his that didn’t feel so far away since they became a couple. He’d never told anyone but gunned for it with all his heart.

“You keep insisting I’m too stupid to make it anywhere in life, HOWEVER I just got a contract deal with a high-end music company and worked my butt off at an interview JUST SO I COULD AFFORD THE HOUSE SOMEDAY! I WANTED US to cuddle in that home, watch the stars in the night.” Maybe get married one too, Zenitsu doesn’t say. He doesn’t want to.

“You think I’m weak, but I WANT to learn to protect you someday and maybe hope you GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS LONG ENOUGH TO PROTECT ME TOO! So what if you you’re rough and mean? For every scathing remark and for each time you hit me, you’d kiss it better.”

He choked. He could tell he was getting stares from the other patrons of the bar but Zenitsu plowed on anyway. “It was okay. As long as you did that, as long as you love me, everything else that you said or did was just fine! So I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY! I hope you’re happy in your Mercedes-Benz car that your friend bought for you because you manipulated him into thinking you were ill. I hope all of those free lessons you got from our Professors that you spent actually stealing the test answers will help you out in the real world WHEN NO ONE GIVES A CRAP ABOUT YOU ANYMORE! You insist I’m crazy for thinking that anyone else will or can ever love me. But I hope-”

Zenitsu cuts himself off with another sob. This next part was like pulling out teeth to get out, but he had to say it. “-I hope that girl who’s with you finds enough peace within herself to love you, because I just can’t anymore. I just can’t-”

“I’m sorry.”

And that’s when Zenitsu felt his entire world ending.

With a higher tenor and a voice the sound of wind chimes, this person was possibly the furthest from being Kaigaku that he possibly could’ve been. The blond finally rips his phone away from his wet cheek long enough to focus his blurry vision on the screen. Sure enough, the number blaring back at him is one- no, three (three?!) digits off from the one he’s had memorized since the very day that history project ended.

When the person on the line speaks again, Zenitsu finds it hard to comprehend that the other’s irregular breathing pattern indicated that he was crying too. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you.”

What, why are you sobbing? This has nothing to do with you, you know! Zenitsu wants to say, but the embarrassment and horror of the situation finally catches up to him and overrides any urge he has to speak with this stranger. Really- REALLY, Zenitsu?! He pours his heart out, finally gives Kaigaku what he’s been holding in for a year, and he’s too dumb to even send it to the right person. It figures-!

Suddenly, Zenitsu is just so tired.

“It’s fine.” He says instead, voice devoid of emotion. “Sorry for bothering you. It’s my mistake.” Then he hangs up before the other can even reply. Now that he’d shouted every bit of his heart into that call, he can’t find the energy to do much else. So instead of lashing out, instead of repeating his mistake, he wipes his phone back out to the correct number. Maximizing Kaigaku’s chat screen, Zenitsu types out a haphazard message in under three seconds without even looking at the keyboard.

van;t do this anynore

brwaking up witg you

Mind surprisingly clear, he gives the bartender a generous tip and nearly refuses the offer of water that he gets. But after a pat on the back from the surprisingly fatherly man, Zenitsu relents and chugs it down. After assuring him that he was taking public transit back, the blond doesn’t even raise his gaze from the floor as he treads out with heavy footsteps. He doesn’t remember most of the walk back to his dorm room. Everyone else goes about their night as usual, laughing among friends as they carried take-out boxes or homework. The world continues to spin while Zenitsu felt inexplicably dead inside.

He somehow finds his way to his bed. Books are scattered all over it from where Kaigaku had left them just the day before. Zenitsu doesn’t even blink while he shoves the accursed things to the floor before landing face-first in his pillows. The impact agitates that bruise in his stomach that Kaigaku gave him once after failing a test. It made him sick. Before he can sleep though, his phone vibrates.

A call…? It shakes on his blankets but the blond doesn’t answer. He’s too exhausted.

After six rings, it finally stops. Zenitsu thinks it’s the end of it but when it beeps again for voicemail, he nearly jolts out of his wits as that same voice from before fills his room. The wind in its sound soothes him and, for a moment, Zenitsu wonders if he’s imagining it.

“I-I know that wasn’t meant for me!” The other boy on the line is nervous. He can tell. “I shouldn’t have continued listening and invaded your privacy like that. I’m sorry. But if it means anything, I think that dream of yours to live in a perfect home with the one you love is beautiful. I bet you worked really hard for that job and will amaze a lot of people with your music. I don’t think you need to work on protecting anyone, because I know you’re strong enough. A-And-”

“What are you trying to say?” Zenitsu finds himself replying even when he can’t hear him.

“…You can be loved. I believe that with all of my heart.”

At hearing that, Zenitsu breaks. He cries.

Maybe, just maybe, he can.

[iamkatehardy]

Out of Reach (James Delaney x Reader)

Hoping this time it works! I’m sorry for the mess, and I’m sorry I didn’t put the Keep Reading button, but I’m trying all the possibilities now!

Requested by : @outofbluecomesgreen  The idea is hers, and absolutely amazing, so thank you babe ❤

A/N: This story will explore the development of the relationship of James and (Y/N). It starts in their early life, when everything seemed simple, before James sails to Africa. 

The FF will be divided in 3 or 4 chapters, and each one of them will probably depict a different stage of their relationship. This one is about how they met. Hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think!

Warnings: Brandy is involved, just that 😁

Chapter 1

1802

London, a place where boundless wealth was the neighbor of the most hideous misery; where the luxury, wasting and extravagance of some coexisted with the famine, premature death, and vicious despair of others.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, you were born into a noble lineage, in the bosom of one of the richest and most influential families of the entire kingdom. Generally, someone from outside your reality would see you as lucky; another insufferable little lady that could have anything she wanted, and possessed all sorts of titles, including the most wanted bachelorette in town. Gentlemen from all over the Kingdom tried to ask your hand, but you always made their life a hell, in various ways.

You just couldn’t abide all the rules, etiquette and protocols of the court, and that often gave your parents a headache. If you weren’t a daddy’s girl, you would probably be disowned; but you and your father shared plenty of things, including an immeasurable passion for the sea. Something about the immense blue ocean fascinated you, thrilling you and soothing you at the same time.

Another French lesson, something you could never stand, awaited you; and when you saw your father getting ready to go out, you assumed it could be the perfect opportunity to skip the class. Having business with East India Company, he  spent a considerable share of his days in the docks.

“Father?”

“Yes, my precious?” – He turned around to face you, while dressing his overcoat.

“I was wondering…” – You stepped closer, giving him a sweet look you inherited from your mother.

A little chuckle escaped his lips; he knew that look: you were about to ask him something and he wouldn’t be able to refuse.

“You know how much I hate Margaux and those classes…”

“Darling, your mother insisted…” - He put his hand on his forehead, sighing.

“I know, Da.  But if you’d take me with you, she wouldn’t oppose to your will… Plus, I haven’t been in the docks in a while; I would love to go with you. Please?” – Both your voice and eyes were so pleading that for a while he forgot about the troublemaker within you.

“What did you ever ask me that I didn’t happily give you?” – He caressed your cheek. – “But get your coat, it’s cold out there!”

It was a chilly winter day. The wind was blowing from the water towards the land; as you took a deep breath in, a familiar scent filled your nose, calling memories of your childhood.

Sailors caused less problems if they were kept busy, so they were swamped in tasks in the ships, minding their own business, at least until they laid their eyes on you; your arrival caused a stir among them, turning heads.

James was one of the most troublesome sailors, meaning he was doomed to scrub the wooden decks, despite his expertise in other areas. The constant murmurs of his mates made him a little curious, so he got up with the excuse to get more holystone, and he finally caught a glimpse of you.  You looked fierce and proud, but so damn beautiful he couldn’t stop looking at you, at least until the captain smacked his neck hard enough to bring him back to reality; the back of his neck stung, and he rubbed it to ease the pain. The captain’s yelling echoed in the whole dock, you couldn’t help but overhear it, and you turned to see what was going on. Being a troublemaker, you could relate to the situation, so it made you smile. After being lectured, he lifted his head again, and his eyes met yours; it was hard to meet his eyes for long though, they were like the ocean, so deep yet so tender, so full of life, so mesmerizing… Those were the eyes you’d never forget, the same eyes that would never forget you.

Your father was there for business, meaning he had little to no time to keep you company, and you got bored too easily  to simply follow him and his friends while they discussed their affairs.

“Father? Do you think we could take a quick look at that ship?”  - You walked by his side, clasping your hands behind your back.

“My love, I wish I had the time, but right now it’s impossible.”

“Then maybe someone could. “ – You stopped, pointing in the direction of the ship were James was, and giving your father a warm smile.

“I’ll arrange it for you. Just don’t get in trouble ok?”

“I won’t.” – You solemnly promised, although you knew that was a hard promise to keep.

You and your father approached the ship.

“Sailor?” – Your father called, and James turned around.

“Yes, Sir.” – James’s answer was dry; he knew that getting attention from people like you and your father often meant bad news for people like him.

“My daughter would like to have a look at the ship, could you please join her and show her around?”

“With all due respect, Sir, I don’t think this ship is the place for such an exquisite lady.”- He gave you a courtly nod, but his remark outraged you.

“I insist…” – You narrowed your eyes, and he couldn’t help but think you were a spoilt little lady used to get what she wanted at whatever cost.

“Listen, boy, this is my ship, meaning it’s her ship. So if she wants to take a look, she will be taking a look, and you’ll be escorting her. Are we clear?” – The finger of your father was mere inches away from James’s face, and you smirked, victorious.

“Yes, Sir.” – James nodded. – “Ma’am.” – He offered you his hand, to help you come on board.

“Thank you.” – You took his hand. It was rough and calloused, with a firm grip, unlike all the nobles you had met before, but t seemed to perfectly fit yours.

You father left, and you wandered around the deck, amazed with every little thing.  James observed you attentively; you didn’t look so stuck-up after all. Your fingers traced every detail engraved in the shiny hardwood.

“That’s…”

“I know what that is, sailor…”- After interrupting him, you came a little closer. – “I’m familiar with ships.”

He clenched his fists and teeth, calling him a sailor made you look pretty stuck-up once again.

“Oh, come on, why do you look so angry? It was you who didn’t introduce yourself! I’m sticking with sailor, until Your Grace choses to unveil his identity to me.”

He resisted his urge to chuckle.

“James. James Delaney, ma’am”

“Delaney, huh? Sounds familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it… Anyway,  James, I’m (Y/N), and it’s a pleasure to meet you.” – You extended your hand, and before he could bow to kiss it, you shook his hand firmly, surprising him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, ma’am.” – His lips broke into coy smile

“No,no, no, please, let’s dispense with the formalities shall we, James? At least when my father is not around…He takes those things seriously, I don’t really care.” -  You shrugged, and fluttered your long eyelashes.

Many hours have passed, but none of you noticed it until the Sun was about to set. You were both hesitant at first, but James made you feel weirdly comfortable; you both enjoyed each other’s company, and how the talk effortlessly flowed between you, almost as naturally as the silence between two strangers would. You had known each other such a short time, and yet, it felt like you knew each other forever. You found out you had more in common than any of you had foreseen, but there was a lot more to discover.

“You’re not so bad, after all…”

“Oh, no, I’m just as fucked up as they say! Well, I must go now, or my father will really impatient. He doesn’t quite endure delays. But I’m coming back. One day…” – You gave him another charming smile.

“I’ll be waiting.” – He kissed your hand. The golden sunlight seemed to enhance the way your eyes shone; they were sweet and captivating, making it really hard for James to say goodbye just yet.

And he did, every single day he wondered when would you be the next person to show up in the docks; he would follow your father with his watchful eyes, waiting for the day he’d bring you with him again. He secretly longed for one more talk with you, for your company.

Once your father grew suspicious of your interest in the docks, you were forbidden to accompany him there, or to go on your own. Restrictions never worked with you, imposing rules only made you want to break them, this one wouldn’t be exception.

When the night fell, after stealing your mother’s darkest cloak, and your father’s most expensive brandy, you sneaked out through the window and headed to the docks, knowing you’d probably find James, since he was supposed to be guarding a ship ,that was supposed to set sail in a few days. The night breeze was chilly, and you involuntarily shiver, maybe a nice swig of brandy would help; it smelled and tasted kind of fruity, making the experience less bad than you expected it to be. A few swigs and steps after, you finally reached your destination.

“James?” - You called, probably louder than you than you meant to.

He was tired, almost falling asleep, but he could swear he heard his name being called in the distance, so he immediately got alert. After pulling back his blanket, he swung his legs off the bed, and groggily rubbed his eyes.

The tipsy version of you thought it would be a good idea to keep calling.

“James Delaney! I summon you!” –Inspecting the ships, trying to remember in which he was staying, you whispered once again.

James came out of the compartment, wondering who could be calling him so late at night; he came across you, and it left him completely bewildered.

“There you are!” -  You ran towards him, shaking the bottle in your hand.

“What are you doing here?!”

“I told you I’d come!” – Giving him the most fetching smile, you delivered him the bottle.

“Have you been drinking?” – He inspected the bottle and then you.

“Hmm hmm…” – Shaking your head in denial, you rolled your eyes.

“Of course not.” – He chuckled, after a low grunt; he perfectly knew you had. – “Does your father know you’re here, by any chance?”

“Why would he? He doesn’t own me, nobody does!”  - You defiantly crossed your arms over your chest.

“I bet he thinks differently, and this visit will put me in a lot of trouble.” – Taking a deep breath, he slowly tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear, and you bit your lower lip.

“Don’t sweat it and spare me the speeches, I bet Delaney means trouble in some kind of dialect…” – Looking down, you kicked off your shoes.

“I wish I could tell you that you’re wrong, but you’re probably right…” – He opened the bottle and gulped down some brandy.

“Plus, it’s not usual for someone as insubordinate as yourself to fear any kid of trouble… But if you want me to go, I go!”

“No…” – He took another sip from the bottle, both brandy and your presence made him feel a lot warmer inside; something he hadn’t feel in a long time.

By the time he finished gulping the brandy, you had climbed on the edge of the ship, and tiptoed on the narrow bar; he almost spat his drink on the floor.

“(Y/N)?” – He called softly, to avoid startling you and causing you to fall overboard.

“Yes?” – You spun on your feet as swiftly as possible, turning to him.

“Can you come down here, please?” – He extended his hand to you, trying to convince you to come back to the deck.

“No, I can’t!.” – Giggling, you reached for the back of your head, and undid your hair. Shaking your head lightly, your hair fell over your shoulders, just before the wind blew through it, and made it cover your face. – “James…If I fall, will you pick me up?” – You opened your arms, closing your eyes and savoring the sensations, the freedom, with a smile on your face.

“No, the water is freezing; I wouldn’t pick the fucking King, if he fell!” – He laughed.

You opened your eyes just to glare at him, with indignation.

“Well, we shall see about that…” – You closed your eyes again and smirked, laying your head back.

He took another sip of brandy and silently approached, catching you off guard, picking you up and throwing you roughly over his shoulder, as he stepped away from the edge of ship.

“Are you out of your mind?!” – He sat down, leaning again the mast, getting his breath back. You tried to release his strong grip, but he wouldn’t let go. Managing to trap you, he made you sit between his legs, as he held you tight into his chest, so you wouldn’t get away and cause any more trouble. – “I would certainly pick you up, ma’am, but please don’t fucking jump. You crazy little thing!”

“I wasn’t going to jump!” – You laughed out loud. – “I’m not that crazy… Ok, maybe I am! But I was just curious about your reaction.” – You cheekily remarked, and stopped resisting his grip, leaning your head against his shoulder instead. Once again you stole the bottle from his hand.

“You’ve probably had enough brandy , miss…” –

“Oh, really, says who?” - You turned your head to face him.

His piercing gaze lifted from the bottle to your face, and the hair rose in the back of your neck. You wanted to believe it only happened because of the cold, but perhaps the real culprit was James’s warmth.  

“Me…” – Whispering, he pinched your nose playfully, before stealing the bottle and gulping the remainder of the brandy on it.

“Hey!” – You slapped his leg, with a surprised look on your face, before bursting into laughter once again. “Since we’re on a ship… I love sailor songs… Do you know any?”

“No.” – His face was guilty, you knew he did, so you insisted.

Alcohol started working quickly once it entered your bodies, and in a matter of minutes the shyness and resistance were gone. James ended up singing a few sailor songs, and he even accepted your challenge to dance; he couldn’t dance like you did, he seemed to have two left feet and stomped on you every five seconds.  For your own safety, you decided to simply link your arm on his, lifting your dress with the other hand, spinning around and singing, like you both thought drunken pirates would do. After some time, you both were so dizzy you fell to the floor, rolling on the deck and laughing.

You laid with your arms spread, getting your breath back; James was fun, he made you feel like you hadn’t in ages. Around him everything was carefree, adventurous and natural.

Being a troublemaker, James was very vigilant, even when he was drunk. Something got his attention, and he got up, looking around.

“Come back here…” – You giggled, opening your arms for him, making him sign to lay back in the neck and relax.

“Shhhhhh…”

“Don’t hush me!” – You sat down, giving him a threatening look

“Shhh!” – James saw a light in the distance, and he could hear voices of officers calling your name. – “Oh fuck, this is all I needed…” – He rubbed his forehead.

“What?” – You raised your voice.

“Shut up! Come! They already have more than enough reasons to expel me, if they find the daughter of the owner here, I won’t only be expelled, I’ll probably hang too.” – He extended your hand to you.

“We’ll hang together then!” – You shrugged, and James sighed in annoyance, grabbing your arm and getting you up.

“Put these on! Quickly, please.” - He grabbed your shoes on the other hand, handing them to you.

“I won’t, they are awfully uncomfortable, James.” – You tipsy tantrums were funny to James; he wished he could laugh, but not when you were about to get caught.

“Ok, fine…”- James took a deep breath and to clear any evidence of your presence on the ship he decided to throw the shoes, which probably costed more than his salary, overboard.

You looked at the shoes sinking, then at James’s face, and you couldn’t help it but laughing uncontrollably.

“Shhhhh!” – He made you sign to hush, but the more he hushed you, the more you wanted to laugh.

Your father was worried sick, and sent officers to search the whole town, including the docks. The officers approached, following the dim lights on every ship. James grabbed your hand and ran with you to his room, before they could get a glimpse of your both. You should be worried, but the adrenaline had the opposite effect in you, you felt more alive than ever and laughed happily.

“They’ll search here as well, they’ll search everywhere…”

“Never had hide and seek been so interesting…And your face, lovely!”

“Can you take this seriously for a second?!” – James whispered.

“Hmm hmmm…” – You shook your head, laughing. Your eyes barely open, from how tipsy you were, but it also showed how true your smile was. – “James, I’ve been in trouble for most of my life, but I swear, I haven’t had this much fun since I was twelve…” – You hug him tight, laughing against his chest.

He heard the steps of the officers in the deck, and his instinct was to hide with you under the bed. There was little room, so he laid on his cold floor and you laid over him.

“What are you doing?!” – You whispered.

James was sick of trying to hush you; you just wouldn’t comply, so he put his hand over your mouth gently. You tried to speak, but his moth stopped you, so you bit him lightly, making him take his hand back , and laughed.

“What’s so fucking amusing in getting us killed, huh (Y/N)?!” – He put his hand on your mouth again, but it wasn’t enough to muffle your laughs anymore. – “I’m probably going to regret this, but here goes nothing.”

He moved his hand to the back of your head instead, bringing you closer. As the officers stormed into the room, before you could say anything, or laughed, he firmly pulled your body against his, brushing his lips on yours. You tried to fight it as first, but you just closed your eyes and let yourself savor the moment. Lacing his fingers in your smooth hair, he lightly slid your tongue across your lower lip, causing you to gasp lowly; your lips parted and he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue inside your mouth. You teased him, nibbling his lip, and he sighed into your mouth; you both surrendered to the delicious feeling.

The officers searched everywhere, including the small wardrobe, but luckily for you, not under the bed; they soon left, ready to search in another ship. You and James broke the kiss, and you just looked into his eyes for some seconds.

“I’m sorry…You wouldn’t stop laughing, I…” – He whispered, but he was lying through his teeth, he wasn’t sorry at all. You put a finger over his lips, hushing him.

“James Delaney, you’re quite a character! You just can’t apologize when you should, but you apologize when you shouldn’t…” – You planted a lingering peck on his soft lips, before you both came out of your hideout.

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.63

someone was trying to hurt shizun, right? *snaps her fingers* alright, let’s see what’s gonna happen

The three different types of ancient demon blood were storms colliding within Shen Qingqiu’s body, locked together in a tangled web that was impossible to separate. Among them, Luo Binghe’s blood was holding together Shen Qingqiu’s five organs and protecting the veins connecting them.

this two sentences gave me life, how powerful must lbh be to be able to protect shizun from inside attacks and at the same time physically fight father-in-law and zhzuhzzusnakey?!?!? he is a god and doesn’t care about anything but his husband, LOOK

EDIT:

Shen Qingqiu knew this wouldn’t end well for him, but he didn’t want to drag anyone else down with him. His whole life, he’d always hated the kind of characters that just ended up becoming bargaining chips for others. If that was the kind of flimsy, delicate character role he was forced to play, he’d rather die.

(i love when we get more insight of shen yuan’s life or even just things that he sees as typical of himself -it says so much about his character!! i wanna know more about him before svsss ç_ç)

He clutched his hand over his heart and forced his face to remain neutral as he spoke. “Whatever Your Excellency would like to do to me, please, feel free. As you’ve said, after being forced to drink so many times, I should be getting used to it. But don’t even think about seeking the flesh of Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe, if you agree to him, I will strike you down myself with the force of the heavens.”

(ALL I CAN SAY TO THIS IS “SHIZUN YOU ARE SO COOL” SOIJGIEJRIORE sound awfully close to “if you touch even a hair of my lbh i’ll skin you alive”, with his calm and polite tone. 

or also, shizun: “lbh’s flesh belongs to me” *giggles and smilles* guys i love him)

EDIT 2:

Tianlang-Jun stared at him strangely. “Who said I wanted his flesh?”

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh what but wait-

EDIT 3:

Tianlang-Jun continued. “He can’t compare to my own noble, handsome figure, so why would I want his flesh?” …… …… Who said you were more handsome than him?

Who put their seal of approval on this?

LOOK AT HOW OUTRAGED SHIZUN IS, LIKE “HOW DARE YOU DEFINE YOURSELF MORE HANDSOME THAN MY HUSBAND”?!?!?!?!?!?!!??! I AM DEAD BLESS YOU THOUSANDS OF TIMES A DAY, SHIZUN

EDIT 4:

Shen Qingqiu’s entire expression sunk in exasperation. “Then what exactly do you want?”

Zhuzhi-Lang replied, “Junshang desires that sword.”

SORRY WHAT? WHY? i mean, okay, that sword kick ass just by existing, but i thought he wanted lbh’s body so what’s going onnnnnnnnnnn

Tianlang-Jun confirmed, “That’s correct. I would like to present a gift to the human world, but I won’t be able to without that sword.”

don’t bother giving us gifts, we don’t need them, so thank you for the thought but-

EDIT 5:

Luo Binghe demanded. “Now hand him over!”

Zhuzhi-Lang immediately transformed into a serpent and caught Shen Qingqiu in his massive mouth. Tianlang-Jun leaped up gracefully, laughing loudly as he rose. “You really believed that? Hahahahahaha.”

I KNEW IT YOU FREAKING BASTARD-

also, shizun trying to defend lbh from these two bullies keeps being my favorite thing EVER, i can see sparks of their old relationship and it’s gold, PURE GOLD OKAY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BUT I AM GONNA KILL THOSE TWO IF THEY DON’T RELEASE SHIZUN N O W

EDIT 6: 

He was swallowed by Zhuzhi-Lang. 

EWWWWWWWW OMG WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN HOW IS HE GONNA GET OUT EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

EDIT 7:

Shen Qingqiu kept his expression carefully blank as he wiped his face, making sure that there was no trace of reptile stomach juices remaining on him.

he does so with such nonchalance, if it were me, i wuould be throwing up and screaming and feeling disgusting like there was no tomorrow, omg woisajfiojgfoero

EDIT 8: oh, demonic geography!

EDIT 9:

He took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself so that he was 120% ready for whatever he might see. Then he looked down.

……The problem was even more serious than he thought.

Like a prosthetic limb made of leaves and branches, every inch of his right arm was covered in green, fleshy leaves and sprouts, trembling slightly along the limb with every motion. All five fingers were completely numb, and he couldn’t even curl them.

SHIT. RIGHT. I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS, OMG, WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO HIM, HE CAN’T TURN INTO A TREE JUST BECAUSE HE LIKES PLAYING WITH LEAVES, HE CaNt’-

EDIT 10:

Just then, Zhuzhi-Lang approached, holding a small, steaming gold stove. Shen Qingqiu jumped as if he’d seen a ghost, instantly on high alert. “What are you doing!?”

Zhuzhi-Lang froze in place. “This subordinate just wanted to help Master Shen……”

every time he says he wants to help shizun i feel deeply uncomfortable. i’d be like, “no but thank you” with a polite smile while retreating one step at time, better be careful with snakes, DON’T LET THEM SMELL FEAR- 

*run politely, shizun :)*

EDIT 11: 

Shen Qingqiu pulled his robes back over his shoulders. Zhuzhi-Lang unconsciously glanced up, then quickly turned his gaze down again. Outside, Tianlang-Jun laughed. “Silly child, what are you embarrassed about?” 

(these are the moments where i can almost kinda maybe quietly admire how cute and awkward zhuzhzuhsnakey truly is)

He’s right, Shen Qingqiu thought to himself. What do you have to be embarrassed about? Seeing this chest that was just covered in fleshy sprouts all over? Seeing this being that you just swallowed whole? What is there left to be embarrassed about?

Zhuzhi-Lang answered completely seriously. “My lord, please don’t mock this subordinate. I do not have the slightest of intentions towards Master Shen.”

He looked towards Shen Qingqiu and re-emphasized, “Absolutely none of Luo Binghe’s intentions.”

WO DE TIAN

I LOVE how lbh’s love for shizun is made so so so obvious by literally everyone in this novel, i live for moments like this!! shizun keeps denying his “possible” feelings while replying with a “wtf” every time someone says something about lbh being in love with him and guys

the moment he’ll snap...

I NEED TO SEE IT

EDIT 12: usually i say that father-in-law deserves to be strangled or whatever, BUT

Tianlang-Jun asked, “You and my son, have the two of you cultivated as partners?”

WE ARE ALL SO THANKFUL FOR THIS QUESTION OF YOURS, GREAT DEMON LORD. SUCH AN I N T E R E S T I N G   Q U E S T I O N right, sHiZuN-

Shen Qingqiu was sure he heard wrong. “What did you say?”

Tianlang-Jun patiently repeated himself, “I was asking Peak Lord Shen whether you and Luo Binghe……”

(I AM HONESTLY HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW SORRY SHIZUN)

Shen Qingqiu’s face twitched several times and he immediately put up his hand in a gesture to “stop.” Tianlang-Jun continued. “Or perhaps Peak Lord Shen doesn’t understand what I mean by cultivating as partners? It means that…”

Shen Qingqiu interrupted. “That’s enough.”

Could you have some sense of shame at least!?

(AHAHAAHAH OOOH HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS!! aaah i really feel thankful toward father-in-law for all this teasing right now ojoij3owfg WHO NEEDS SHAME WHEN WE LIVE IN A WORLD WITH BL SOAHFOIJPERKW)

EDIT 13:

God! D**n! Resentment! Of! Chunshan!

BLESS this song, ‘cause we need bingqiu fan both in and out of the novel xD i wanna listen to it too dovoiejpos

EDIT 14: 

System: [Chatting with the BOSS about interests and hobbies, increasing the villain’s depth of character, B-points +150!]

BLESS THE SYSTEM TOO. this fake-quiet atmosphere that’s always there in scenes that would naturally be full of tension is one of the many many reasons i love these novels!!!! like, we feel the tension and we know it’s bad and we know something bad may happen but here they are, chatting “calmly” and it’s all i didn’t know i needed XD

EDIT 15:

Shen Qingqiu replied, “You’re planning to use the Heart Devil sword to open a crack between the two worlds?”

Tianlang-Jun corrected him. “To be accurate, it will be a merging of the two worlds.”

Merging the Human and Demon Realms!

EXCUSE ME WHAT?

HOW? WHY? SOMEONE CALLS BINGHE FOR HELP-

[noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth]

 Okay, so, episode thoughts. Here we go. This will get long.

I’m not going to get into the Missandei mess much because it’s all been said and said better than I can say it, but it was racist and cheap and the laziest storytelling I can imagine, and it does a huge disservice to her as a character, turning her into even more of a narrative prop than she already was. Grey Worm will likely meet the same fate. It’s bullshit. 

So let’s talk about the other stuff.

Is Sansa in love with Jon? I honestly think so. There were too many moments that screamed love triangle, including at the feast when she literally walks away when she sees Jon smiling at D/ny. The scene with Tyrion only confirmed it. She was on the verge of tears just thinking about Jon choosing to live in the south with D/ny. The fact that Sansa’s dislike of D/ny has been shown to be both political and personal -- while Arya’s is strictly political (i.e., she’s an outsider and can’t be trusted, but Jon was right to do what he did to get her help) -- clinches the matter for me. Arya doesn’t like D/ny but her dislike is protective, not passionate. She’s not emotionally affected by D/ny or Jon’s relationship with her.

Now, the question remains: Why would they show us Sansa being in love with Jon, only for her to end up alone and heartbroken from unrequited love? Is the show really that cruel?

Well, maybe. But I still don’t think it makes any sense, if D&D knew Jonsa was coming (even unrequited Jonsa), that they would’ve written and filmed Jon as they did in seasons 6 & 7. They wouldn’t have gone out of their way to show that Sansa is Jon’s trigger if they were just going to have him passively accept her being threatened by ~the woman he loves~. Now, admittedly, “making sense” is not the show’s strong suit, but I still see no reason to believe that Jon actually loves D/ny.

The scene between the two of them was, admittedly, the most chemistry they’ve ever had, but 1) he was drunk and probably extremely relieved that they’d won the war against the AOTD; 2) they still didn’t get that carried away in their passion; and 3) mostly importantly, we still get no confirmation from Jon himself that he loves her. She gave him a perfect opening for him to tell her, and the audience, his feelings, but instead he went in for the kiss. Why? If Jon loves D/ny, why not show us his love for her? If Jon is tormented by the fact that he loves his aunt and wants to be with her but can’t, why not have him talk about it? With her, with Sam, with Sansa, with Arya, I don’t fucking care who. If we are headed toward a tragic ending in which Jon has to kill the woman he loves, then wouldn’t that be more shocking and heartbreaking if we see Jon truly adoring this woman?

Instead, we see him simply submitting to her. He calls her his queen so often it’s almost a joke. When anyone questions her, he says she’s the queen, he made a promise, and they are loyal to her. 

Now, I could be completely wrong, but given the writing decisions in season 6, season 7, and 8.03, I think it is perfectly reasonable to assume that D&D are writing toward a plot twist. That’s their MO. Everything they write is shaped around a shocking moment -- presumably the one in which Jon turns on D/ny. Given this pattern, the only reason I can account for the way Jon’s storyline has been handled is that he’s being written solely for the purpose of that twist. 

If the twist was simply that Jon must kill the woman he loves, then there are a million other ways to make that shocking that don’t require us never getting Jon’s POV. In fact, it’s much more shocking if we were fully invested in the love story. If the twist is that he never loved her, on the other hand.....

Yes, it’s hacky writing. Yes, it’s narratively incoherent. Yes, it’s bad television. It’s hard for me to imagine them pulling it off in a way that can be even remotely satisfying. At this point it’s probably impossible. I’m extremely unhappy about it.

But I’m not ready to write off Jon as a character yet, and nor am I ready to write off Jonsa altogether. Will I have to fill in a lot of blanks myself to make it work? Will I have to imagine a lot more communication and nuance than the show is willing to give? Absolutely. Will I be dreaming about how the books will tell this story every day for the rest of my life? Yes. But that’s where I’m at on this.

(The big exception for me is the handling of Ghost. This was so out of character and bizarre that I don’t know what to make of it. If Jon is willing to send Ghost away, then maybe he really is the dumb asshole he seems to be. But, then again, the show has always minimized the importance of the direwolves, and clearly they were looking for a way to get out of people telling them to spend the money on CGI for the direwolves. I don’t know.) 

Other things about the episode, briefly:

Gilly’s pregnant! Nice. At least there’s one good thing happening.

Also the opening scene with the burning of the corpses was moving. The bit with Theon.... I cried.

I think Jaime was using the truth (that he’s a bad guy who’s done a lot of bad shit for Cersei) to push Brienne away to keep her safe while he went south to confront Cersei. I’m worried this means we will be getting Jaime killing Cersei, which as you all know is one of my least favorite but highly likely theories.

I was not surprised by Arya turning down Gendry. That’s seriously not who she is or what she’s ever wanted. I think she’d be happy to be with him, but not as the lady of Storm’s End.

That said, it’s disappointing she returned to her kill list. She deserves more than to be an assassin. She is capable of being more. That said... could she be going south to kill D/ny instead of (or in addition to) Cersei?

While I hate that they used Missandei’s death to “tip” D/ny into MQ territory -- and in fact while I hate that they played up the MQ stuff when up until this episode I’ve never found her mad, just dangerous and power-hungry and self-aggrandizing -- I do appreciate that at least they made it clear she was willing to blow KL to bits even before Missandei was killed. She’s been willing to do it for seasons now. She didn’t need anything to tip the scales.

So...... no Dance of Dragons 2.0? I’m quite surprised tbh! I never really wanted Jon to ride a dragon but what was the point in it, if he made no difference during the war against the NK, and then Rhaegal was just going to get killed the next episode?

Varys and Tyrion were sorta interesting this episode but I hate that they’re framing Jon’s maleness as part of his legitimacy -- and positioning this as a REASONABLE opinion. I also think that while Jon would probably be a better ruler than D/ny, he tbh has done nothing to prove himself lately so I’m not sure why everyone’s so sure of him all of a sudden. That said, I don’t blame Sansa for telling Tyrion the truth; it was an extremely smart thing to do, because she recognizes D/ny for the danger she is, to both her home and her family and Jon in particular.

My biggest gripe, still, is that the show seems to not really care about the Starks. We get one scene of the four of them all together -- and it cuts off before the MOST IMPORTANT PART of the conversation, that is, Sansa and Arya’s reactions to Jon’s parentage. Will we ever have all four Starks in a scene together again? I worry not! And this might be the last we got of them.

The fact that there were also no goodbye scenes between the Starks is fucking outrageous. 

I’m not touching that scene with Sansa and the Hound with a ten foot pole. What the actual fuck to literally every part of it.

I can’t think of anything else right now but I’m sure I’ll have more to say later. Overall, I didn’t hate the idea of this episode, and it even had its moments (Sansa egging Jon on when he was drinking!), but the complete blackout of Jon’s POV and the general lack of care for the Starks in general has kind of ruined this season. IDK. I’m hoping there’s enough about the endgame that I like to make it possible for relatively canon-compliant fanfic to fill in the gaps, but I’m not holding my breath at this point.

ALSO, I’m extremely afraid next week will just be another battle episode and we won’t get any Sansa or the North. Thoughts?

[kimnamjooonz]

Blank Space - Episode 10

Style 

Songs used in this chapter: 

Style - Taylor Swift 

IDGAF - Dua Lipa

Delicate - Taylor Swift

'You've got that James Dean, daydream look in your eyes and I've got that red lip classic thing that you like, and when we go crashing down we come back every time, we never go out of style.''

Some weeks after that bizarre cast party, Morgan was in her apartment, dipping cookies in her coffee and playing chess with Lucas. Taylor was walking around, arranging something about an event that Morgan had no idea about. The things with Sebastian in the last two weeks were full of ups and downs, mostly downs. There were moments when they didn't speak to each other and others in which they were quite friendly. But those moments were pretty fleeting. But Morgan was in peace with herself and playing chess relaxed her as much as practicing kickboxing. ''I have news'' Taylor informed them. ''Morgan, you're going to the Toronto Film Festival.'' Morgan was a bit intrigued about that and she sensed that Taylor had more information related to that and she was not telling her. ''That's great but... I haven't worked in anything that's going to be released there as you well know.'' By Taylor's uncomfortable face, Morgan guessed that she was not going to like what was coming next. ''First of all, this wasn't my idea. It was Damien's'' now Morgan was sure that she was not going to like what was coming. ''You're going but with Sebastian.'' Morgan didn't even looked outraged. She simply rolled her eyes. ''But why?'' she looked in pain. ''I don't really want to go.'' ''C'mon, you've always wanted to go to the Toronto Film Festival.'' Taylor was trying to convince Morgan that this was a good idea. ''Yeah, but not with him.'' she was in silence for a little while. ''However, I don't have to see him, do I? We'll just have to greet each other on the Red carpet. We'll stay at different hotels, I imagine.'' Taylor had a painful expression that Morgan didn't like. ''Well... no. You're going as his date.'' Morgan looked so scandalised that it was almost funny. ''No way. No. No. No. I'm an accomplished actress myself. Look, I'm almost more famous than him. I'm not just his date!'' Taylor and Lucas were close to laughing. ''But, as you said, you don't have any movie being released there, and he does.'' Morgan was red. ''Why doesn't he take his girlfriend? Why does it have to be me?'' ''Because, in the exact words of Damien Chazelle, no one cares about her. Everyone cares about you and him. The press love you two together. And Damien does too. He says that you spend more time with him that she does.'' ''Because I get paid for that'' she blatantly said. ''She does it for free. Wow, I love charity work.'' Lucas couldn't keep it together any longer. ''But Morgan, in your exact words, you wanted to be 'his whore for free'. It was in your old Twitter fan account, I saw it myself.'' Morgan was so used to the teasing that she didn't even mind. She had wrote that stuff after all. ''You can say whatever you want. I'm not going. Let Sebastian go in peace, I don't care.'' It looked like a sincere statement but it was Morgan so no one was really convinced. ''A pity.'' Taylor looked resigned. ''Nicole Kidman is going to be there. She's Sebastian's co-star. You could have met her.'' Morgan expression changed. ''Okay, when do I leave?'' Taylor had a triumphal smile. ''In two days. I'm sending Lucas and your stylists tomorrow.'' ''One thing'' Morgan said with a severe voice. ''Book me a room as far away from Sebastian as possible. I don't want to find surprises when I get there and get the classic fanfiction moment of 'And there was only one bed!' because I swear that I'd rather sleep on the hall.'' Taylor rolled her eyes and got back to business. Morgan was back into the chess game. ''You know, Lucas that no matter the next move you make, I'm going to win.'' Lucas glanced desperately at the board. ''How are you so good at this.'' ''I'm a good strategist, I guess.'' She saw Lucas making a move and immediately smiled. ''Look and learn: I'm going to kill your Queen with mine'' with her Queen she pushed Lucas' out of the board. ''And check-mate. I got your king.''

''You really have to go with her?'' Sebastian was being interrogated by Florence. After the shitstorm of the cast party she had been angry at him for days. Only three days ago she had forgiven him only to learn that he had to take Morgan Llewellyn to Toronto as a date. Every time Sebastian went back to his senses and the life he had before Morgan, something happened that made it impossible to live in peace. ''Yes, I don't have much of a choice just please don't complicate things more.'' Sebastian wasn't going thru his best time. Apparently not only Florence was a bit resented at him but his fans too. He had been out of the Interned for the past weeks and his fans were saying that it was Florence's fault as before she got in the picture Sebastian was pretty much in contact with his fanbase everyday. And they had adopted Morgan as the Knight in Shining Armor that came to rescue Sebastian from the evil influence of his girlfriend. Nothing was farther from the truth. He just couldn't keep seeing the 'Chanel vs Walmart' memes comparing Morgan with his girlfriend (and ironically Morgan was the face of Chanel Cosmetics, so she was really Chanel after all), the 'Seb deserves better' and the usual 'Sebastian should stop with this Florence insanity and date Morgan once and for all.' It was absolutely maddening. And Morgan's behaviour with her fans (and Sebastian's) was outstanding. She always stopped for pictures, she was active on social media and she was continually feeding her fanbase with funny Instagram stories. She had a loyal fanbase that was slowly making themselves heard around the Internet. They had campaigned to get her to do the Hugo Boss catalogue alongside Sebastian and they had succeeded. He hadn't told Florence that yet. Their latest campaign was to get Morgan to walk in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Yeah, Morgan looked like a model but she had never stepped on the runway in her life. However, even Sebastian had got an online petition to get Morgan there and he, believing that it was anonymous, signed it. It wasn't. And now everyone knew that he had signed a petition to see Morgan walking around in lingerie. The Internet and the media had had a field day and Sebastian was just too embarrassed to say anything. Morgan herself hadn't said anything but she obviously knew and every time she looked at him she had a smirk on her face. Pleasant. And Chace had shown him an article that stated that Victoria's Secret was seriously considering Morgan as a model. It was absolutely insane but he didn't believe it was true. And he seriously doubted that Morgan would accept to be in the fashion show, mainly because she'd have to share the spotlight with professional models when she wasn't one. ''Sebastian, am I not complicating anything. It wasn't me the one who signed an online petition to see Morgan half naked.'' ''It was a joke between me and rest of the cast'' he lied. ''And why is she even going to Toronto?'' ''Publicity'' he simply answered. ''Not actually for herself but for our next movie. And she wants to meet Nicole Kidman.'' ''Just... be careful'' she was feeling more pity for him than jealousy towards Morgan. ''Don't let her get into your head.'' Little did she know that Morgan almost never left his head. ''She's not that bad. She's being quite pleasant lately. She can be infuriating but in general... she can be nice when she wants.'' ''The thing is that... she never wants.''

Two days later Sebastian was at JFK waiting for Morgan to arrive. He had got there five minutes earlier and he knew that Morgan was not going to be late. And she didn't disappoint. Exactly at nine she got out of a black car with a horde of paparazzi following her. She walked towards the place Sebastian was, with the paparazzi still taking pictures. She was wearing a tailored trench coat with a high ponytail that looked awesome in her. And of course that she was wearing high heels. ''Hey, Sebastian'' she greeted him with an smile. ''Morgan'' he was also smiling, they were in public after all. But he could find no reason not to be nice to her. ''Let's get going. The sooner we've gone through customs, the better.'' He was right. The airport was usually packed but the paparazzi that were behind them were bothering the rest of the people. And they didn't want that. Sebastian tried to glance at Morgan's passport when she presented it in customs. More than anything he wanted to see if he could catch her real name. But he hadn't been lucky and Morgan had noticed. Thankfully they didn't have to wait much for their plane to leave. And Morgan wasn't amused to find out that her seat was next to Sebastian's. Damn it, Taylor. ''It seems that you can't get rid of me.'' he took of his leather jacket and set next to Morgan who was inhaling his fragance. Damn it, he had good. taste. His smell was absolutely irresistible. ''And you were glancing at my passport.' ''I wanted to know your real name.'' he said without shame. ''That's not happening anytime soon.'' She had also taken off the trench coat only to reveal the neat button up white shirt she was wearing underneath that she had matched with an elegant short skirt. Sebastian didn't know who was Morgan's stylist but damn that they were doing a good job. Before he could notice, she was taking off her iPad from her bag. He could see a picture of her cat as a lockscreen. ''By the way, how is Thirteen?'' Morgan's expression softened and she smiled. ''Thriving. He's getting big and his fur is shining. He's a really loving cat.'' ''I should drop by and see him someday'' he said. ''I found him, after all. I deserve half of the custody. I can see him at the weekends if you like.'' Morgan looked at him, about to burst out laughing. ''You may have found him but I paid the vet and I'm raising him up. And you don't even like cats.'' ''Who told you this? I may be more of a dog person but I like cats.'' Morgan didn't say anything. Of course that she knew about that. She knew that she'd take a Scottish Fold to space. ''Conform yourself with the pictures for now'' she handed him her phone where she had opened a folder titled 'Thirteen'. It seemed like Morgan was as attached to her cat as Chris Evans was to his dog Dodger. She had taken a lot of pictures of the cat sleeping in different positions, eating or just comfortably lying on Morgan's arms. ''Just... beautiful'' he didn't know if he was referring to Thirteen or to Morgan. She took the phone from his hands and stuck it in her pocket, then she started playing an old Doctor Who episode that she had loaded. Without any words she had got into it. Sebastian didn't know what to do so he got really close to her to watch the damned episode. ''What?'' she suddenly asked. after violently pausing the episode. ''I just wanted to watch'' he said with a little voice. Morgan felt some sort of pity for him and let him get closer to her placing the iPad in the middle of them both. And he was getting closer by the second. Morgan closed the little space that was separating them and they were literally touching. He wrapped his arm around her and placed his head on her shoulder. Morgan felt weirdly at ease. His body was warm and Morgan was loving the feeling of having his head on her shoulder. ''This is an old episode. Peter Capaldi was still the Doctor. In my opinion, he's underrated. And Clara was great too.'' ''That's Jenna!'' Sebastian pointed at Clara. ''I acted with her for like five seconds. She was Bucky's date in The First Avenger. I wasn't expecting to find her here.'' Of course that Morgan knew about that. She had seen The First Avenger more times that she could count. ''I love her. She's so good... you just have to see her as Queen Victoria. Just amazing.'' They went back to see the episode and Sebastian was so comfortable, being close to Morgan that he was slowly falling asleep. It was unbelievable that he was so in peace next to that chaotic woman. He fell asleep and his head fell on Morgan's chest. She wanted to pat his head and caress his neck but she was never going to do that. Touching him while he was asleep was non consensual and it was also creepy, so she just let him sleep. Luckily for her, getting hooked with old episodes of Doctor Who was her special ability. She had been doing exactly that for more than ten years. From time to time she felt Sebastian move but he never lifted his head from her chest. He even murmured some stuff that she couldn't understand. She didn't know if it was Romanian or simple gibberish. When they were about to land in Toronto she had no other option than to wake him up. She wanted to elbow him in the ribs but she found out that she didn't have the heart to do it. So she just shook him up. ''Stan... Sebastian!'' He slowly opened his beautiful steel blue eyes of his and when he saw Morgan he smiled. ''Am I in heaven?'' he mumbled, still with his head on her chest. That question didn't impress Morgan one bit. ''No. But if this plane crashes, you'll be. We're about to land, so, wake the hell up.'' ''Always so sweet, Llewellyn.'' he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more than it was. ''Do I look so bad?'' Of course he didn't, Morgan thought. He was gorgeous and he knew it. ''Your hair is messy'' she was checking her make up that was very decent after flying for only a few hours. When she looked at Sebastian again, his hair was sticking everywhere. ''Do you need a mirror?'' ''No, but... could you tidy it up a bit?'' The cheeky bastard. She reached for his hair and tidied it up. It wasn't a sensational job but at least he didn't look like was just waking up. She also tidied his shirt and leather jacket. ''Now you look decent.'' ''Thank you.'' he was smiling like a little kid. ''And Morgan... the back of your coat is a bit wrinkled. Let me help you...'' She was pretty sure that there was nothing wrong with her coat but Sebastian ran his hand on her back for a little while. ''Perfect. You look beautiful, as always'' Morgan was a bit confused. What was happening to him that was being so nice? Maybe he was just tired of the hostility. ''Okay, whatever. Now put the seatbelt on while this thing lands.'' Thankfully the ordeal was pretty quickly and in less than twenty minutes they were exiting the airport, with many paparazzi following them on the little walk they were making towards the car that was already waiting for them. Bless Lucas for the great organization. They were staying in the same hotel and for once Morgan didn't mind, mainly because he was staying in the fourteenth floor while Lucas had booked a suit for Morgan in the seventh floor. So, they were not sleeping in rooms next to each other and the 'there was only one bed' problem was out of the picture. She knew that she could trust her personal assistant. When they reached the hotel, they immediately made their way to their rooms. ''So, where are you staying?'' he cheekily asked. ''Just in case I need to ask you something, I'd know where you are.'' As if he couldn't text or call, Morgan thought. But she gave him the information he wanted. ''Seventh floor. Room 1921.'' They were in silence when they got into the elevator but Sebastian broke it before it was too late and Morgan reached her destination. ''Aren't you going to ask me the same question?'' ''No. Why would I want to know that?'' ''I don't know...'' he was being flirty again. ''Maybe you'd like to... visit me... I wouldn't mind... even if it's in the middle of the night.'' Morgan looked at him with her eyebrows raised and an unimpressed expression. ''No, thanks. If want to talk to someone in the middle of the night I'd just call Lucas. Or anyone else. See you tomorrow.'' she bluntly said, getting off the elevator. Her statement was pretty clear. She didn't even plan to see him for the rest of the day. She was going to turn up with him to the red carpet and that was all. But Sebastian didn't share those plans at all.

That night, Morgan and her team were in her room playing poker and listening to Dua Lipa, having the time of her life. Lucas had just ordered pizza so the night was getting better. Her team were a bunch of young, enthusiastic, talented, nice and diverse people. Apart from Lucas, she had Amal, her make up artist, a beautiful girl that looked like a younger Priyanka Chopra. She was from Brooklyn but all her family were from New Dheli. Morgan had found her in YouTube and she absolutely adored her. Then she had Shontelle, a lovely young woman that had been friends with Lucas at high school. Now she was an up and coming hair dresser that had got to work in the New York Fashion Week. Lucas had contacted her again and offered her to work for Morgan, which she happily accepted. And finally she had Luke, her stylist. Morgan had also found him through YouTube and had instantly contacted him. After working on Morgan's street style for only two weeks, many celebrities were trying to get their hands on him but he always refused them. The fashion magazines couldn't wait to see his work on Morgan on the red carpet. The most important thing was that apart from working together, they were great friends. ''Let me tell you girl, that you look so hot together that my insides are still burning'' said Shontelle, looking at her cards and, of course, talking about Morgan and Sebastian. ''He's hot.'' added Luke. ''I can't wait to see you two together at the red carpet. You'll set the Internet on fire, more than it is already. I know he's gonna look good because his stylist is good, no better than me, of course, but good.'' Their conversation ended when someone knocked at the door. ''Who opens?'' asked Lucas. ''The one who's losing and that's you'' answered Morgan, laughing. Rolling his eyes he opened the door only to reveal Sebastian at the other side, looking as if he was ready to go out. ''What are you doing here?'' asked Morgan. ''Do you want to join us? We're playing poker and eating pizza!'' ''Sounds tempting but I can't. I have to go to a pre-festival party''. Morgan didn't know why he was telling her this. ''You don't need to inform me of whatever you want to do, okay? You don't have to ask me for permission'' she stood up, placing her hands on her hips. ''Have a good time.'' ''I thought you were coming with me. Weren't you my date?'' ''Yeah, but to the screening of your movie tomorrow. No one told me anything about being your partner for some pre-festival party. That wasn't in the deal.'' Morgan kept looking at him with sort of a hard expression and the hands on her hips. For once he was seeing her with only jeans and a hoodie and without make up or high heels. She was still gorgeous but she looked younger, almost childish. ''I know but...'' he looked at her with his most persuasive expression. ''Maybe I'm asking for a favour.'' So, Sebastian was asking her for a favour. Interesting. It was hard to resist his offer when he looked so handsome, dressed in a black shirt (with the first two buttons opened) and black jacket. What a man. ''You can ask anyone else. I'm pretty sure that there's a horde of fans of yours that'd sell their souls to go with you.'' And she was right. He could do that or he could go alone. But, somehow, the perspective of showing up with Morgan Llewellyn was too tempting. ''Please, Morgan. I'm begging you'' he was looking at her with puppy dog eyes that apparently weren't working. ''Do you want me to kneel in front of you? Because I'd kneel.'' ''That won't be necessary'' she stopped him. ''Luke, can you do something fast?'' ''I'm ready for everything.'' Luke pushed Morgan to the huge bathroom and then ran to his own room to get his things. Shontelle and Amal followed Morgan. The only one who didn't move a finger was Lucas. He just grabbed a slice of pizza and sat in front of Sebastian. Of course he didn't say anything but Sebastian had the impression that Lucas knew something that he didn't. And Sebastian was really tempted to ask, even if he knew that Lucas was not going to say anything. So, he spent the next ten minutes making crazy guesses about what the hell Morgan and Lucas knew. Maybe it was something that involved him. He would have liked that she kept him in her head as much as he kept her in his. When Morgan got out of the bathroom, Sebastian was absolutely speechless. It was incredible how someone could look that good. Morgan was a work of art by herself but her team deserved some credit because in ten minutes they transformed her and made her look even more gorgeous if that was possible. She was wearing a shot long sleeved red dress that showed a good amount of cleavage. Her hair was in an elegant updo and her make up included her signature red lips. ''I can't believe I'm missing the end of the game. And I was winning! Can we finish after I come back?'' ''Forget it.'' answered Lucas. ''I'm not losing money against you, Llewellyn.'' ''At least leave me some pizza. I could just eat a quarter of a slice! That's not fair.'' ''Also, forget it.'' between Lucas and Luke grabbed all the pizza boxes. ''We're continuing the party in Luke's room. It's not appropriate for us to stay at the star's suite when she's out. See you later''. One by one they started to make an exit. ''Have a great night'' said Amal, with a little smirk, glancing at Morgan and Sebastian. ''Enjoy'' Shontelle winked at them and left. It was hard for her not roll her eyes. ''Let's go before I start to regret it'' she opened the door for Sebastian. It was hard for him to form words at that moment but he knew that if he didn't say anything, and quickly, Morgan was going to start teasing him. ''Are you really walking at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?'' he asked. Morgan laughed. Apparently she found the question very amusing. ''Did you even believed that was serious? It was just a joke that my fans created. Then you signed the petition and the issue blew up a little. But what would I do there? I'm not a model. I'd made a fool out of myself.'' ''I heard that you were seriously being considered. Even if you're not a model, you're a popular actress that'd get a lot of viewers to the show and that's all they care about. There's no model as popular as you right now and you know it.'' Maybe Sebastian was right but that wasn't making Morgan change her mind. ''The only angel I'd dress up as is a Weeping Angel for Halloween'' she saw Sebastian's confused face. Of course he had no idea what she was talking about. ''Just a Doctor Who monster, don't worry.'' Typical of Morgan, mixing Doctor Who with everything. he was getting used to that. ''If they asked you, would you consider it?'' In Morgan's opinion Sebastian was way too interested in that particular topic. ''Sorry but, no. I'd never take someone else's job, you know? Models work hard to be there and it's not fair that a privileged actress gets her place only because she's popular.'' Sebastian was astounded. Morgan Llewellyn being ethical? The simulation was definitely glitching. ''It's as unfair as when some mainstream pop star gets a role in a movie, and I'm not talking about Lady GaGa who can actually act and she's fantastic but... some clueless pop singer that believes that the Meisner technique has something to do with manicure.'' Sebastian mumbled a 'wow' after she stopped talking. He was used to Morgan expressing her strong opinions in front of him and he had the wild guess that he was the only person that made Morgan feel free enough to speak her own mind with no regrets. ''Maybe Victoria's Secret is not for you but you should do that TED talk. Or an stand up comedy show. You're so acid and sarcastic that you could be funny. It's amazing to listen to you.'' ''You always give the best compliments.'' He offered her his arm and she took it but he didn't dare to look at her for long periods of time. He was scared of getting lost in her eyes, that under the city lights, looked really purple. The place wasn't far away from the hotel. The party was in an ultra elegant restaurant. In the past Morgan would had been impressed but she was getting used to those kind of places. She kept holding Sebastian's arm. After all, she was his plus one, something that still had her a little salty. They were literally surrounded by famous people. She could see Chris Pine, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen and more. She wanted to talk to everybody but she was stuck to Sebastian, for now. ''We look absolutely amazing, Llewellyn. Just look at us, we're just... gorgeous.'' ''Check your ego, Stan.'' ''I'm just stating the facts, there's no need to lie to ourselves...'' ''Hey Sebastian!'' If Morgan wanted to meet Chris Pine, her wishes were a reality. ''Pine'' Morgan almost laughed. Apparently Sebastian refused to name any Chris by his name if it wasn't Chris Evans. ''And you must be Morgan Llewellyn.'' his eyes were glued to her. ''Let me tell you that you are more beautiful than I had imagined.'' She wanted to thank him for the compliment but at that moment Sebastian moved his arm only to place it around Morgan's waist. She wanted to laugh. Men were pathetic sometimes and Sebastian was the best example, being territorial over a woman that was nothing more than his co-star. And it wasn't the first time that this happened. She still remembered that whole episode with Chris Evans back in New York. She was tempted to snatch his arm away from her body only to annoy him but she didn't. ''Thank you'' she finally answered to Chris. ''I loved your role in Wonder Woman. Steve Trevor was quite the charmer, wasn't he?'' ''Yes, he was. It's a pity he's dead. Let's see if he's somehow brought back. Or maybe they bring him back just for a flashback...'' ''He'll be back.'' Sebastian said out of nowhere. ''It's DC. I mean, they revived Superman in a way that I still don't understand. Don't worry, they'll bring you back somehow. Just make sure you're not contracted to wear a moustache. We don't want another Henry Cavill CGI upper lip disaster.'' Morgan was basically cracking her ribs of the effort she was making at trying not to laugh. Sebastian was speaking in such a passive aggressive way that it reminded her of herself. It was awesome. Apparently that was what happened when you put Sebastian Stan and a DC actor (that wasn't Margot Robbie, of course) in the same room. ''Yeah... that was quite bad...'' Chris Pine looked really uncomfortable. He was sensing Sebastian's animosity. ''I think I... need to go... it was nice to see you Sebastian and it was a pleasure to meet you Morgan''. ''Yeah, same Chris'' Morgan was the only one who answered as Sebastian was pretty busy biting his lip in such an annoying way that even Morgan wanted to punch him. ''Wow'' she mumbled after Chris left. ''Wasn't expecting that from you. Snake Sebastian? Interesting.'' He didn't have a decent explanation. He was just jealous. She snatched his arm away from her and started walking away from him. ''Where are you going?'' he asked, a bit desperate. ''I may be your plus one but that doesn't mean that I have to be glued to you the whole night. I just saw Kit Harington and Rose Leslie and I want to meet them.'' Without any other word she left. Sebastian was going to go after her but he was stopped by Taika Waititi. After twenty minutes of talking to Taika (and losing complete sight of Morgan) he was finally left alone. He was looking around for his co-star but he couldn't see her anywhere. After ten minutes of looking basically everywhere he was getting desperate. He was even asking people if they had seen her. ''Looking for me?'' said a familiar voice behind him. There she was, with an innocent expression on her electrifying blue eyes. ''Actually yes'' he was so relieved that he even wanted to hug her. ''I'm not going to get lost, you know? I'm not a helpless little girl. You're getting superhero complex, Sebastian. I was just looking for decent food but I could only find shrimp and canapes. Shrimp! Who even eats that? Just get me some pizza and a beer.'' Morgan, once again, was right. He was suddenly starving and craving pizza and a beer. ''Most people here cannot appreciate the wonders of pizza and believe that shrimp is way better. People like Chris Pine, for example. He looks like a shrimp lover.'' ''I'm with you in this because I saw him like two minutes ago and he was eating it.'' ''Told you!'' they were laughing like idiots and he didn't care. He may be surrounded by celebrities but Morgan was still the most interesting one. ''We're surrounded by old shrimp eating idiots, Morgan.'' ''Old?'' Morgan was wearing her mocking smile again. ''You're 36! Half of the people here are younger than you.'' ''Age is just a number and my spirit is way younger than 36.'' Morgan looked at him from head to toe, as if she was evaluating him. ''That was a good answer'' she admitted. ''Ian McKellen would agree with you'' Sebastian was a bit thrilled. That was the first time that Morgan mentioned Ian in front of him. And Sebastian had always admired Ian, lucky Morgan that had got to act with him. ''The Macbeth cast threw a Queen themed party and Ian was dressed as Freddie Mercury with King Duncan's prop crown and sceptre. The man is 79 and knows how to party.'' Sebastian was so caught up that he had forgotten that he was in the middle of a celebrity party. ''But the best part was when Marcus, the actor who played Macbeth, showed up fully dressed as Darth Vader with the only purpose of recreating that legendary picture of Freddie sitting on his shoulders. And they did it.'' she looked for something in her phone. ''Here's the picture. Not many people had seen it, believe me.'' Sebastian was amazed for many reasons. First of all, there was Ian McKellen dressed as Freddie Mercury. Then, this picture belonged in a period of time when Morgan wasn't famous yet. And Sebastian knew very little of those times and he wanted to find out more. ''This is brilliant. I can't believe you witnessed this. And who were you at this party?'' Morgan scrolled to the next picture. There was Morgan, dressed in some 70's rock attire and with a blonde wig. ''Roger Taylor. Queen's drummer.'' ''This is epic''. This picture proved that two years ago Morgan was as beautiful as she was now. Even with a deep blonde wig and those weird clothes. ''Yeah, I kind of enjoy those fancy dress parties. I'm planning to throw one for Halloween but I don't have a theme yet.'' ''Am I invited to that one? I don't want to miss it.'' ''As long as you show up dressed according to the theme you'll be admitted.'' Sebastian looked around, looking at the people that were surrounding them, deciding that they won't be missed if they disappeared. ''Let's get out of here'' he grabbed her hand and walked towards the door. ''Why? Where?'' she was a bit confused by his sudden change of plans. ''To get some decent food. I'm not going to sign up to the shrimp loving club. Not today Satan.'' ''Sebastian, darling... most of your ideas are quite a disaster but this one... is spot on.''

P.S. Finally Morgan andd Sebastian are getting on well on well. Just a little. 

And sorry for the Doctor Who references.