#but seriously so much love for this fandom

[ten-cent-sleuth]

@queen-vessaraia-ashlynne

Which is your favourite?

I’ve redrawn my stack of Austen books to get the image quality high enough to be a shirt/tote!

Shop

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."

That's not how healing works.

I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.

I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.

There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.

Apology Tour:

Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).

So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.

The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.

Ghostfuckers

After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.

Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.

Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.

So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.

And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).

Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.

In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.

[sassydefendorflower]

Holy Server B@tman! Fanfic Rec List 2.0

Hello and welcome back to a very special fanfic rec list! 

The members of the amazing Holy Server B@tman! Server are an extremely talented bunch - many great artists and writers together in one place to foster each other’s creativity and joy to participate in fandom.

That has to be celebrated! 

So, please welcome a list of stories our writers loved to create, their very own Greatest Hits!

(please click on your own discretion - you’ll find the appropriate warnings on ao3)

Fujiwhara Effect by byrambles / @byrambles

Fujiwhara Effect: When two tropical cyclones spinning in the same direction pass so close to each other than they begin spinning around a common center. Or: Dick is NOT a fan of Bruce’s new kid (seriously, WHO brings home a new kid weeks after the old one moves out and then doesn’t even have the courtesy to tell – ). When he gets trapped in Gotham by an East Coast hurricane, though, he has to figure out how to be in the same room as Jason without losing it.

byrambles's words: This was so much fun to write! I think it has a sweet mix of angst and fluff — plus a silly little surprise part-way through!

The Lines that Bond Us by canaf_lilah

Reclusive author Bruce Wayne's most recent book, The Bat Man, was a critical success and a mass market flop. As he struggles to make sense of a sequel, he shocks no one more than himself when he brings home recently orphaned Dick Grayson. Bruce could never have predicted the impact on his life - and his writing - the remarkably resilient young acrobat would have. Batman and Robin may only exist on the pages of Bruce's books, but that doesn't stop them from saving the people they touch.

Lilah's words: to me this is by far the best fic I've ever written. I'm determined to finish it one day, but don't be too put off by the incomplete status! It works well as a standalone.

red like blood (they won't wash clean) by silver_the_phoenix

Tim snaps. It's a lot bloodier than he thought it would be.

Silver's words: I started this one because Tim deserves to go a little feral, as a treat; and I finished it because I'm a simp for Good Brother Jason Todd.

Cared For by 1Zukoneedsafamily2 / @trashcollectshere

Jason smirked as he stood over The Replacement. He stroked the feathers of the splayed-out wings, before he gripped a group of feathers and yanked. Not hard enough to pull out feathers but he wanted him awake when the fun started.

Krys' words: also everyone loves a tower fic right???

Brother, Go Find Your Brother by sleepingcreep (JaySgrech) / @misplacedspleen

Brother, go find your brother: A method of finding something lost by attempting to lose something similar in the same way, in the hopes that it gets lost in the same place and both can be found. “You should match, right?” The grin cracked wider as the lanky captor rolled the knife between their fingers, strolling closer to where Tim was pinned to the wall. Jason didn’t comprehend what the creep meant, too focused on trying to pull his hands against the cuffs in the right way to pop his thumb out of place to get free. There are many years of scars between Jason and Tim before they match.

Jay's words: I'm reccing it because I'm proud of how the settings turned out and I think I wrote a unique take on Jason and Tim's relationship

dirt piling up, putting me to bed by rutaceae / @applejee

Jason never imagined that a simple trip to a bookshop could end with him trapped in the basement of a collapsed building with Tim, but you don't often get what you imagined when you live in Gotham.

Luka's words: i’m quite happy with how contained this little fic is (for me); i always wanted to stab someone, and have someone else panic so bad they don’t realise they’re fucked up themself. fun times!!

Do-Si-Do's Churros & Other Curious Things About Love by sElkieNight60 / @selkienight60

Being a beta in a house full of alpha’s is rough. Especially if you’re trying to be heard.

Selkie's words: I like it because I really enjoy reading Platonic Omegaverse stories, and the Batfamily are so unrepresented here, (I say, in the meaning that I simply crave more of them, there are truthfully quite a few out there, but I just enjoy them so much).

Maui Melon Mint by motleyfam / @motleyfam

In the case of Bats vs. Stomach Bug, there can only be one victor.

Motley's words: I had a ton of fun writing from Damian’s POV for a change and letting Alfred wear his sassy pants

Writer's Cellblock by pinstripedJackalope / @the-ghost-of-jason-todd

Mystery writer and father to five, Bruce Wayne has no great fortunes to fall back on. No reserve of social charisma, no family jewels. He no longer has a butler, though Alfred does his best to visit regularly. He is, in short, not the kind of man who can buy freedom. Heck, he can barely make ends meet some months. So you can understand the… concern… he feels when, late one night, two FBI agents come knocking at his door.

K's words: ngl it was hard to pick a fic, and i would have picked one with more than one chapter but i always did think this one was kind of fun

Golden Silence, Golden Yolks by BabblingBookends / @babblingbookends

Words between Dick and Bruce have never been easy. Dick talks, Bruce doesn’t listen. Bruce talks, Dick is expected to listen. Better if neither of them speak at all.

Babbles' words: If you watch a TV show for long enough, there will inevitably be some character moments in a diner, and I just think that's fun, hence this fic!

keep your head up (it's a cruel world) by lookforanewangle / @lookforanewangle

“If the past is anything to go on, sir,” he says kindly, “this boy will be in your care for a good many lifetimes, and you will do all you can to keep him safe, just like you have with the others.” Or, the Batfam/The Old Guard reverse verse au with Dick's introduction to the world of immortals

Lyss' words: I put a lot of work into this one and while I know reverse verse isn't everyone's cup of tea, I think it works best in this universe in this order, with many surprises yet to come, and room for this universe to grow!

A Promise to Stay by xerzi / @xerziartblog

No one needed Tim Drake, but Tim Drake still needed to be needed. And well, who better to choose than the one person who could never stop needing him? So inherently broken that his job would never be finished. Yet so unfortunately resilient that he would never be left the sole survivor. And so desperate to serve that he would never be betrayed again. In other words, no one else needed Tim Drake, but certainly, he knew there was someone who could make use of his particular skill set. - Tim Drake, 12-year-old independent adult, professional birdwatcher, is offered everything he’s ever wanted…for the low, low price of his verbal agreement. All he has to do is say yes.

Xerzi's words: I just want to put Tim Drake in a jar and try to figure out what's wrong with him…so I put TWO Tim Drakes in the same jar so they can work together to figure out what's wrong with them (and how to fix it)

The End of Man by AuroraKant / @sassydefendorflower

Dick Grayson wasn’t meant to be caged in, but then again… Dick Grayson wasn’t a murderer, and look at him now. (was this what insanity felt like?) Dick Grayson gets captured, forced to shift, and put into a cage - surely, this is the worst that can happen?

Aurora's words: Look... I always wanted to write a deranged Shifter AU in which Dick Grayson goes absolutely mental. What can I say? I love it when my boy is broken and covered in blood <3

Catching Stars and Comets by Faeriekit

From this tumblr prompt: "Reverse Robins AU but instead of making Damian oldest and going down the line so on and so forth, it’s a bunch of assembled weird vigilante-crime men and their accidentally adopted autistic eight year old rich boy, Bruce, who calls himself “batkid” for reasons beyond their mutual understanding of expected kid behavior."

Faeriekit's words: it's been a fun AU to work on, I hope people enjoy it, also it's got kids. It's basically an ageswap!AU where all the batkids are "villains" without Bruce's influence. And it was either this fic or the bees.

cardboard box by A_Canceled_Stamp / @a-canceled-stamp

Robin!Tim is exposed to Ivy's cuddle pollen. For the first time, he reaches out to Bruce for help. How he wishes he hadn't.

Stamp's words: this is my first hurt/no comfort fic and I am very happy with how it turned out! The comments I've gotten on it always make me cackle lmao

a flower called you has bloomed by dottie_dc / @dottie-wan-kenobi

The real problem is that, well. Last time Tim went undercover, he kind of… came home and embarrassed himself. It’s not that he’s shy about being seen in disguise, okay? They can all tease him all they want but it doesn’t bother him. He has way more blackmail on his siblings than they do him, so whatever. It’s just… Caroline Hill is a different story.

Dottie's words: I saw the inspo art and it gave me immediate motivation to write something, which was really fun. I loved writing it and seeing people in the comments be able to relate. queer headcanons my beloved <3

Of The Covenant by Kgraces / @kgraces

Dick Grayson is many things, and foremost among those, he's a detective. He can't stop himself from noticing things about Tim Drake — things that make him question not only his home life but his relationship with Bruce Wayne, too. (Things spiral from there.)

Gracie's words: I’m gonna toss my current longfic your way so hopefully it motivates me to work on it more lmao. It’s a Dick & Tim fic where Dick basically takes a look at all the adults in Tim’s life and goes “is anyone going to take care of this feral, unsupervised child? No? Guess he’s my responsibility now.”

Now and Then by librarylexicon / @librarylexicon

Dick’s spent the past few months recovering from an ordeal he’d rather not think about, so when Bruce asks him to spend quality time with Tim outside of their masks, he instantly agrees. Amid conversations, itineraries, nightmares, photos, revelations and a whole lot of chocolate, he and Tim navigate the Great Ocean Road—and learn more about themselves and each other along the way.

lily's words: Dick and Tim are my favourite Batboys, so I've been wanting to write a fic about them for a long time, because of their long history and close brotherly relationship in the comics. This story is a love letter to their bond, and I'm very pleased with the way all the emotional whump turned out!

How to tape a card castle by Fleur_de_Violette / @fleur-de-violette

Dick saves the new Robin one day. This is it. This is all. It’s not that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with Jason, it’s just that it’s too complicated. He doesn’t know how to deal with being an adult on top of being Nightwing. He can’t deal with Jason, with what Jason represents, on top of it. Except, when a small injury doesn’t heal up the way it’s supposed to, he ends up being the one who needs saving and he’s finally forced to face the new Robin.

Violette's words: This is my longest published fic so far ! I really enjoyed writing it, both the Robin Jason and Dick part and the little case stories in between and I'm happy about how it turned out!

See You At Your Worst by wildsofmarch / @wildsofmarch

Dick has only been a mob enforcer for six months, but delivering a shipment of guns to an up-and-coming crime lord in Gotham should have been easy. All he needs to do is win the man's trust and secure him as a repeat customer. Unfortunately, the Red Hood is not impressed with him.

Wilds' words: I like this one because I go ham with the identity porn!

The Nature of Things by FidotheFinch / @fidothefinch

After a mission gone wrong and a spat with Drake, Robin is benched. Worse than that: Damian is grounded. As serendipity would have it, it gives Damian the opportunity to facilitate the rehabilitation of the manor's new ward, a dog Batman rescued from a fighting ring.

Fido's words: I got to memorialize pieces of my childhood pups in this story, and it was my first fic in the fandom

in vitro by genericlesbian72 / @femmescooter

Shadow-girl did not know much. She didn't need to. But she knew her first kill would be for the baby.

Hedgehog's words: This fic was a challenge to myself on how Cassandra would view her first kill, without words to describe it, while also a take on ‘joining the Batfamily early’ for her that I haven’t seen much before.

this one takes the cake by carol_in_au / @carol-in-au

Jason took a sip from his glass, slowly, synching it with Bruce's words. Bruce cleared his throat, and continued with an authoriative tone that was so not him. "I have something to announce." Bruce Wayne has an announcement to make

Chrys' words: It's fast-paced, has a good comedic timing, a bit of fluff in some moments. When I reread it, I found it pleasant to read and I was quite happy I created it

presumptions by Valkirin / @valkirinii

Batman is away on a long mission with the Justice League when Red Hood attacks Robin in Titans Tower. Red Hood thinks that hurting Robin will get Batman's attention. He doesn't expect Nightwing. Nightwing doesn't know what to expect from Red Hood, Gotham's newest rogue.

Trixie's words: It's one of my favorites that doesn't seem to get as much attention. It's also really fun to let Dick Grayson be angry and intimidating.

Operation Friendship Helmet by goldenraeofsun / @raeofsoleil

When Red Hood meets Dick, he seems almost friendly, compared to the violent hostility he showed Batman and Robin. Maybe, if Dick plays his cards right, he can turn Red Hood from a crime boss to a vigilante. But the closer he gets to Hood, the question nags louder and louder: why does Red Hood seem so familiar?

Rae's words: This is the first time I really dove into my favorite trope, secret identities, complete with a big reveal at the end.

Roadtrip to Nowhere by Ghxst_Bird / @ghost-bxrd

“For the last time, I’m not modifying a car we’ll be ditching a few towns over.” “Why, you got better things to do?” “Yeah, getting food on the table, you leech.” Jason goes on an impromptu road trip with an ex-Talon and ends up running into a family member… who still thinks he’s dead. Oops.

Ghost's words: Calvin Rose deserves more love in this fandom!

Q is for Quintessential by writergeek / @writergeek

"Rodney...you're talking about altering the timeline here." Well...yeah. Wasn't that the point? "...I want you to have a backup plan." Of course he had a backup plan. At this point he could probably list them all by alphabetical order. Or...the story of the backup plan(s) Rodney never wanted to use to save 12 days 25 years 48000 years mankind.

WG's words: not a DC fic, it actually comes from my old fandom, SGA. i just... i enjoy the time loop shenanigans and the fixit nature of it (which needs fixing only bc i broke it shush), both tropes i adore reading (and writing, apparently)

Leaving The Light by TheCallOfTheSea

Jason is alive, but he has fallen. Can the Batfamily save him?

M&M's words: I enjoyed exploring Jason as a villain, but it wasn’t easy writing relentless angst! I still brought out his humanity in a way.

closet space by adelfie / @adelfie

“Hi,” she says in a breathless rush, then takes a moment to swallow and wet her lips. “I, uh, need your help?” “Are you dying?” “N-not exactly.” “Then you don’t need me,” comes Jason’s lazy, uninterested reply. The call ends with a click. . Steph doesn't know what's more embarrassing: that she's been locked in a closet during a party, or the fact that her "friends" aren't really her friends. And to top it all off, Jason's the only one who can come rescue her.

adelfie's words: I love that Steph isn't fighting a big bad villain -- there's something so soft and strong in realizing that other people's judgments aren't what truly matter.

penance by cuephrase / @cuephrase

After Tim dies, his soul remains stuck as a ghost at the Manor. Forced to watch Dick and Bruce grieve him and unable to do anything, the only thing making the afterlife bearable is Jason. Until the day his ghost departs.  Tim assumes that Jason has passed on. But then the Red Hood breaks into the Cave. And for the first time, someone can see Tim.

Cue's words: i just had an inordinately fun time writing it!! there was a lot of catharsis in the process, and i’m very proud of the ending because i feel like i was able to preserve the fic’s bittersweetness- like the happy ending didn’t dilute the sorrow and instead they were able to complement each other

two vigilantes carry a cake across gotham by JBS_Forever / @jbsforever

In a scheming attempt to make them bond, Bruce forces Jason and Tim on what should be a simple quest: retrieve Alfred’s birthday cake from across town and make it back before the party. But this is Gotham. And nothing is ever simple in Gotham.

JBS' words: it's a story that centers around jason learning just how much crime alley appreciates him. it's also a sibling bonding fic between jason and tim

Ghosts From The Past by red_jaebyrd / @red-jaebyrd

Tim stared at an old poster of the ‘The Flying Graysons’ and his stomach dropped. He immediately fixated on the young boy’s smiling face with his eyes bright and full of life; frozen in time in eternal happiness. It was such a sharp contrast to the last memory Tim had of the youngest Grayson laying broken and still on the circus floor. Tim sighed. He wasn’t just at any old circus. He was back at Haly’s Circus where his nightmares had started and never really stopped. Or Bruce is Ghost Hunter and takes Jason and Tim with him to investigate strange happenings at Haly's Circus.

Jae's words: I wanted to try and write my own version of a no capes au adding in my own lore about the characters and their new world.

sons of sky by ScarlettSwordMoon, Kiwilart / @kiwilart

Dick is thirteen, leader of the Teen Titans, and already starting to chaff under Bruce’s thumb. When Bruce gets de-aged to fourteen, Dick thinks this experience will finally bring their partnership back to working order. It doesn’t. And then it does.

Scarlett's words: This fic has challenged me in so many fun directions. It is terrifying and exhilarating to write young!Bruce and to really try my hand at a big novel length plot line. Of all my WIPs, this is the most fun to work on because I'm working with an artist, Kiwili, who supports me during the loneliest parts of the drafting process, and also draws amazing art for the fic. I'm very proud of what we've done so far and very excited to be close to finishing.

we'll meet again some sunny day by Ms_Trickster / @ms-trickster

When Talia rests a hand atop her bed, the sound of paper crunching beneath it fills her ears.

Missy's words: Talia is a character that deserves a lot more depth and affection and it was a blast to write a story in which she is loved.

[nalyra-dreaming]

hi nalyra, a couple of days ago i saw you answering something about the possibility of tr*mp being elected and that not being great for iwtv and shows in general i think. i'm not sure i understood what's going to happen now that the nightmare came true. would you mind explaining to me?

Well….

I mean, you heard about Project 2025, maybe?

If you haven't... well, I posted about it months ago, and ... it might be too late now, but the Trump administration and his enablers set up this nice little playbook. It's worth looking into, because that's what they want.

We'll see if they manage, but... remember how fast the environmental websites disappeared last time? The LGBT ones? Yep. I remember. First day. And it's easy to check the shit show that happened because of Trump's first term, and still...

Anyways, what does that mean for IWTV?

Let me be cynical for a moment - what do you think it means?

A show, addressing racial issues, with a color-conscious recast. A show, featuring more or less all queer characters. A show, about to feature non-binary and genderqueer characters. A show, not afraid of putting its fingers into wounds.

It is a good thing they're about to start filming s3 already.

I hope we will get s4.

For more I do not dare to hope for.

I ... don't think it's going to be cancelled immediately. And maybe we'll get lucky and AMC will continue to thrive through the people loving the show. Luckily AMC is situated in New York, too.

But if they implement legislation, like they plan to?

Then that will impact. You probably cannot quite fathom how much - yet.

If the Trump administration manages to implement half of what they're planning it will throw back the US for decades.

And with it the culture, and ... well. TV shows, too. Remember all the porn bans, and - even more benevolently - the cookie popups?? LEGISLATION. The wet dream of these people. And they just scored a major victory.

IWTV is the very antithesis for a lot of their beliefs. Queer, racially sensitive and highly critical.

It will be a thorn in their side, and they will seek to remove it.

It will be up to us to make it lucrative enough for AMC to put up with the backlash btw or even fight back against legislation/censorship. Like, seriously. Should IWTV get 10 seasons? YEP. Does AMC plan to do so? Yes. At this point at least they do.

Will they be able to fight against legislation? Debatable.

So maybe this fandom can fucking stop infighting about fucking fictional characters and maybe actually work to keep this friggin' show.

Hope dies last. -.-

Oh, and while we're at it: It's a good thing Ao3 is in CA, but please don't think that they are absolutely safe there. Four years is a long time, and I don't think Trump is going to hold any election after those four years.... -.-

[rarelyput2gether]

I got to say the leaks… I saw them. I don’t care if I’m spoiled so I didn’t mind watching them but I’m quite upset about the “plot twist”.

Spoilers below 👇🏾 Even though I won’t describe the leaks. I just want to rant about Alastor for a minute

Like what is the point in destroying all of Alastor’s friendships? First, Viv axed Husk and now Rosie seems more transactional.

Coming from a creole descent person, i always had a complicated feeling about Alastor but now I’m annoyed. Not so much the quality of the show but just in general how white writers have and can handle their non-white characters. I don’t mind Alastor being a bastard but she really is destroying a lot of nuisance with her only main POC characters (we’ll see about Niffty). I 100% believe that Alastor was made black because of the controversy but since she did that, Viv needs to handle it with care. I don’t know the races/ethnic background of the writing staff but I’m starting to believe it is 99% white Americans lol

(I’m really annoyed that her and this fandom did not take concerns of black voices seriously on twitter a couple years back, if no one can tell haha)

From a sexuality POV, it is a little problematic. Her aroace character has no relationships outside of transactional ones? That’s wrong dude.

Outside of race, still why? I’ll hold my breath until all of Alastor’s back story is told but I really don’t think it’s a good move. I didn’t like Husk possibly being removed as his friend but fine, whatever. Now Rosie? There’s hardly any build up because the writing is rushed and convoluted in season 1 so it’s not really a good twist. The way it was framed and acted sounded like they were genuinely good friends.

Still gonna have a ball drawing these characters but Vivzie, honey, slow the fuck down and think things through. You got four seasons. You have the views and the fan base; you can ask for more episodes to properly build up your twist. And for the love of god, get more than 1 black person on your staff, get a cultural researcher, take a critical race theory class, or something.

[rey-jake-therapist]

I want to start off by saying I love your page and I’m dying to know your thoughts on this. It’s a little long so bear with me please. :)

We know that at this point in TROP the door between Galadriel and Sauron’s mind is still open. That her saying “The door is shut” could’ve been for dramatic effect with that kick.

But it got me thinking, why didn’t Sauron block that kick then? He’s demonstrated before how easily he was able to counter her attacks with minimal effort. So why was it different this time? Then she was able to slice his cheek and it clicked for me.

When looking back on their whole fight, I don’t think Galadriel really had a plan. She knows she can’t kill him, disarming him won’t be enough, and trying to distract him from the rings would be ridiculous because she has them! I think she is just so pissed that she doesn’t care about anything else and only wants to show him the anger she has towards herself and at him for even having been in her life.

When they have that brief moment before continuing the fight, it felt to me that Galadriel arrived to a new found realization after hearing his next words.

“I know your mind. The door is still open,” He said to her.

I believe she was reminded of her own words from before,

“He knows my mind….And I know his. Which is why I must face him. Why I alone can slay him”

Therefore when she declares “The door is shut.” I believe it is actually in reference to something that we wouldn’t initially think of.

In truth I believe she shut the door that had allowed him to enter her heart and locked it up tight so he could never see her deepest hopes and desires again. Effectively blocking him from her vulnerability, not her conscious mind.

(Then we get to the moment where she kicks him in the face which was so satisfying tbh. I’m hoping that in season 3 that we will be given a clearer understanding of this ‘Mind Palace’ that they share.)

That statement marks a definitive shift in their fight. She’s much more precise and has a purpose for each attack. I believe this might be why Sauron didn’t block that kick to the face, he not only didn’t expect her to do that, he wasn’t even able to anticipate her attacks now because he was still “play” fighting. When she slices his cheek that’s when he stops playing around and we see how quickly he “ended” their fight.

I think this theory is further supported by the fact that we literally saw how Sauron was telepathically talking to her (was literally in her mind!) and still didn’t see a thought or intention to fall off the cliff cross her mind.

He no longer has access to her vulnerability and heart, because she closed that chapter on their story from before to allow a new one to begin. One where she is the Lady of Light, he the Dark Lord and how they will always be connected.

Thank you so much for your nice words !

I think it's a great analysis of the fight scene. I think I realized that before but had never put it into words before, even in my mind, but you're probably right about the meaning that Galadrel gave to these words ! I think the fandom at large takes this claim "the door is shut" way too seriously, because it was said in the heat of the moment, when she was angry and determined to cut him off her life (and indeed, her heart) for good. She had no idea what would happen next. Sauron hadn't stabbed her with Morgoth's crown and gained a direct line to her mind yet. He had never telepathically talked to her or anyone else before, so there has to be a connection imho.

I may have a slight disagreement about your conclusion regarding Galadriel's fall, though. I'm actually very much convinced that Galadriel didn't pretend that she was going to give Sauron Nenya, precisely because since he had access to her mind, she shouldn't have been able to do that. I think he really had a hold on her for a few minutes, thanks to the bond he had just created.

And it's exactly why, imho, he didn't anticipate what she would do : because he was sure that the connection worked, and that he had her. It's not the first time that Sauron was too sure of himself, and it won't be the last. She very suddenly found the will in her to snap out of it, and there was not enough time between the moment he realized what was happening, and the moment Galadriel let her fall off the cliff, for him to react fast enough to grab her hand.

She managed to catch him by surprise because he was, indeed, not expecting it all. I think it could also be related to the probable fact that the notion of "self-sacrifice" is completely alien to Sauron : he would never do that, so he can't fathom the idea that anyone would. Basically, his lack of empathy could be what caused him to lose control of the situation, and to let her fall.

[o0-snowdrop-0o]

I seriously cannot get over how gorgeous your celeborn adariel edits came out!! Thank you for blessing us with your stunning work!

I wondered if you could post the poster version without the rings of power text? I love the coloring and want to make it my phone wallpaper 😍

Hi there!

Oh, gosh, thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate it! To be honest, I couldn’t have done these arts without the wonderful Adar-fandom, like, I'm truly grateful to be part of the community! So, thanks again, I owe it all to you guys!🥹💖

As for the the other thing, yes, of course! 🥰

( actually, I did a few version of the latest one, couldn't really decide which one to share )

here you are :)

Without the text

without the frame

this one is a bit sharper

[voxofthevoid]

relate to being turned off from satosugu bc of the fandom. especially being on twitter makes me feel crazy omg bc i'll see posts where people are straight up acting like gojo was completely fine with what geto did bc gojo is just oh so down bad for him and loves him more than anyone else in the world and he doesnt care about anything he just wants geto back. and that is just. so untrue and also so boring, imo.

Because to me, gojo truly *is* a good person in his actions. he says crass things and maybe his mentality can be detached at times, but he always helps people where it counts. Even when he was taking Riko's body away and he asked geto if he should just kill the cult members and geto said no- I have a hard time picturing gojo actually going through with it even if geto *had* said yes. Because for all that gojo postures, I don't think he truly has that kind of bloodlust and rage in him, imo. Not even saying that I think killing those cult members would've been bad, or that Gojo would never ever kill anybody (simply not true), I just simply don't think gojo wouldve stopped walking, turned around, and killed allll those people in that instance (or if he did, I think he wouldve felt,,, off about it afterwards, despite what he said).

But I see so many stsg shippers who act like the only reason gojo was heartbroken about the situation was just because geto left him, and not bc, yaknow, geto committed reprehensible atrocities and became a supremacist. and i'm like,,, are we watching the same show? it's truly such a BAFFLING perspective of the relationship to me. like why erase their moral differences ? doesn't that make the ship more interesting? Sometimes I feel like the reason they do that is bc they can't handle the fact that Geto post-defection is seriously NOT a good person. at all.

stsg as a ship could be sooo much more interesting, imo, if people didn't erase the fact that geto BETRAYED gojo with what he did. not just the leaving. the village massacre, the parricide, the fact that he had no shame about it and stuck by his actions. all of those things betrayed gojo. bc i think gojo truly does want to help people, and he thought that, no matter how hard it was, he would always have geto along with him to do it, and that would make the pressure easier. instead geto chose to become one of the people that makes gojos job harder, lmao.

i think if shippers actually acknowledged that fact the ship wouldn't feel so fucking boring to me.

I’d save you from Twitter if I could, friend. Not saying other sites are free of harebrained idiots. I have Getou and satosugu blocked here for a reason, and I’ve seen screenshots of rancid fucking takes from TikTok and Instagram. Even Reddit—and I’m talking about canon discussion subreddits that generally ban ship talk—didn’t spare me from having to see people’s most reductive takes on this ship. But Twitter in particular seems to be where brain cells go to die.

Nothing in the world can make satosugu compelling to me, but objectively, it’s a ship with rich potential—for angst, for drama, for fluff, for toxicity, for love, for hate, for all of it combined. Like you’ve said, one of the most interesting facets of their relationship is how their bond culminates in betrayal. I’m personally quite interested in the fact that Gojou killed Getou despite loving him, after sparing him for eleven years because of the very same love. It’s not like Getou was ever harmless—he was a special-grade curse user, not the kind of threat you want running around. His cult activities and killings weren’t exactly subtle either. That angle—the fact that love makes Gojou turn a blind eye to Getou’s actions until he crosses a line even Gojou can’t abide—is very, very interesting to me as someone quite obsessed with Gojou’s characterization. People who have an equivalent interest in Getou would find plenty there to peel apart, probably. The two of them together would also offer rich, nuanced grounds for exploration, and I’m sure there are people doing just that.

But fandom spaces as a whole have become exceptionally sanitized recently. I’m not talking about people who generally simply prefer fluff and write that regardless of canon dynamics; there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all allowed our self-indulgent tastes. But what you’ve described—a tendency to erase characters’ dark or grey morality, to think along black-and-white lines that put people into neat little boxes, to remove unsavory or unhealthy elements from relationships—has been plaguing fandoms more and more, especially fandoms with a large number of young(er) fans. JJK is definitely one of those.

I’ve seen similar takes on a lot of JJK ships as well as platonic relationships, like goyuu shippers asking why fic authors write Gojou as predatory toward Yuuji in canon settings with their canon ages (yeah, a real mystery why a 28 y/o romancing/fucking a 15 y/o would be written as predatory) and dad!Gojou truthers earnestly arguing that Gojou has paternal feelings toward Megumi (or Yuuji or his students in general) and is also such a good dad. I’ve seen it with even sukugo and tojigo, in the brief days before both wound up on my blacklist.

Basically, it’s a fandom-wide issue in the English-speaking JJK sphere (I’m sure the Eastern side and other language/region-specific sides have their own debates and issues, but I’m unfamiliar with those), and because satosugu is the biggest ship in this sphere, it has a significantly larger number of voices making themselves heard—as well as a significantly larger number of nuance-allergic dumbasses making themselves heard. The latter tends to be so fucking loud, often drowning out the other voices. It can feel inescapable, even with filters and shit.

[dreamwreaver]

Thank you for the welcome from my previous ask about Vox, I've been busy and finally I could talk about my thoughts on my favorite couple and the others around them. If it's alright, I'd like to be seen as the "rambling nonnie" because I ramble on too long.

About Vaggie, I noticed a lack of her presence in the leaks, which for me, means she's gonna be put in the back seat yet again. I also feel like whatever supposedly important role she's gonna get it's gonna be tied to Charlie. Again. Like everytime.

"Vaggie's the manager of the hotel!" Oh, wow, does she have a genuine interest in redeeming sinners? "No, she does it for Charlie!"

"Vaggie has an interesting arc regarding her thirst for revenge and she should fight for love instead of fighting her detestation for her awful fellow soldiers!" Well, did that arc thoroughly develop her as a character? "No, it was pointless because she didn't really show any signs of vengeful bloodlust before that song and she was already loyal and fighting for Charlie!"

Honestly, what really strikes out to me was the fact Vaggie didn't change her mind as an exorcist because of Charlie, she made the realization herself. But even though that's the case, why was a single demon child enough to shift sides? Are we just gonna gloss over the fact she killed hundreds of sinners each year and kept that from Charlie for years? And didn't punish her or give her huge consequences for her actions?? The most the show did was just make her and Charlie have a fallout for like half of the episode, then near the end of it, the two of them make up because of a shrunken head souvenir and a conversation with Rosie who was a third party that didn't even know Vaggie???

While Alastor and Vaggie were no different when it came to being murderers, at least Alastor didn't keep it a secret and he suffered the consequences of his actions anyway. What makes Vaggie better than him, really? That she didn't have a choice in it? That she didn't enjoy it? True, but keep in mind she most likely had a higher kill count than Alastor and those sinners will never have the chance to redeem themselves and she has never fully apologized for her actions to the princess of those people and likely never will. After all, her very kindhearted girlfriend forgave her, right? Without even having a long, hard conversation onscreen, right? And that's good enough for most of the fandom.

Allow me the indulgence of a rambley the raccoon gif for you nonny

And vaggie, I feel like she was flattened from pilot to series in a big way. Right down to her design. Like she went from having stripes and x's as a motif to just red and black. Wow, so different. It looks like a uniform. Charlie wearing a red suit makes sense since she wants to be taken seriously and we see in her battle outfit that she wears red so red could just be a favorite color of hers, or the color of the royal family given the apple is the fruit of knowledge they're going with here.

Alastor, well he probably didn't have much input on his design and color scheme. The suit is 30s based so I'm not surprised at the style, one of the older comics shows him sporting a straw boater which he then tosses to a group of cannibal ladies to watch them tear each other apart over it. He enjoys the attention but doesn't get much out of it. But vaggie?

The most insight we get into her character is likely her nightgown and her own battle outfit. But the nightgown is a reference to her heavenly origins and the battle outfit is clearly a Carmilla carmine design. And the soft femme angle could work if they didn't make her the straight man to all the other characters. And in a cast like this she's not the voice of reason so much as the stick in the mud. Half of the conflicts in the show are summed up as:

Vaggie: Charlie no!

Charlie: Charlie yes!

Usually with Alastor indulging her. And when things blow up in her face there's no moment of vaggie even getting an "I told you so" of ANY kind! And let's be real, I'm sure that Charlie loves vaggie, but I'm not 100% sold on Vaggie TRULY loving Charlie. I definitely think she BELIEVES she loves Charlie, but this is a white knight/savior complex. Charlie saved her when vaggie had nothing, therefore vaggie must protect Charlie to be worthy of being her partner. Vaggie was not ready to be in a relationship after being abandoned in Hell. Let's be real, there's a bit of prejudice to Vaggie's relationship. Isn't it nice that the person the fallen Angel is in a relationship with is of royal blood? She's half angel. Lilith was a full demon when Charlie was born, the only human thing Charlie likely inherited from her mother was her soul. I fully believe that Charlie would and has dated sinners. Would Vaggie? I highly doubt it. She can claim she "believes" in Charlie's idea and vision all she likes, like Rosie said; words are cheap, actions are not.

What about Vaggie's actions show us the audience her love for Charlie? The one instance I can think of off the top of my head is the commercial. That's the ONE time she takes initiative on her own to try and lighten Charlie's workload. The meeting with her father? Yeah she suggested it I guess but the thing about that was that Charlie knows her relationship with her father better than Vaggie does. And, to add, Charlie DOES NOT WANT parental aid in this. She wants to do it on her own. Charlie is both very ignorant and very aware of the privilege of her position. No one respects the royal family sure but she could still crush any sinner she wanted to with a flick of her wrist. And then after that? Vaggie tried to get out of going to heaven, vaggie didn't even attempt to nip the threat of Adam revealing her secret before the meeting, left Charlie open to Alastor's hands by giving her space, and then proceeded to scold her after let me remind you; SHE MADE A DEAL WITH ALASTOR IN EPISODE 1!

Vaggie has absolutely no right to admonish Charlie for making the deal that could save her people when she gladly made a deal with the radio demon just to get a commercial made.

And I know this seems like I hate vaggie as a character but I don't! I wouldn't even mind Chaggie being end game canon and us knowing that from the start so long as it meant we got to SEE their relationship evolve. But Vaggie as a character is inseparable from title of "Charlie's gf" that's it. And the out for love song, it's a banger no doubt about that but seriously?

When did we see Vaggie ever desiring revenge? Her seeing one child during an extermination made such a change in her that she was mortally wounded and left for dead. And she just... moved on? Okay cool. She doesn't hate the exterminations, she's not vehemently trying to stop them AND get the hotel up and running. She's fine hitting the streets to try and get patrons but that's about it. Maybe if we had a b plot of vaggie sneaking away for turf war carnage or being a sort of pentagram city vigilante I would understand the vengeance thing since at least we'd have seen her capacity for violence in action. But nope!

And I cannot tell you how much that stupid keychain frustrates me. Because it's symbolic of what doesn't work about chaggie as it stands. They DONT talk things out. Again, shenanigans are vaggie trying to tell Charlie to change something fundamental about herself or that some idea she has isn't practical, Charlie ignores Vaggie, chaos ensues and then... nothing. The fact that we saw Charlie apologize to angel dust for overstepping his boundaries before we ever saw anything between Charlie and Vaggie and their issue being SO MUCH BIGGER is so incredibly irritating to me. And here's the thing; both of them are valid. Vaggie had every right to keep a secret like that out of fear of being rejected by Charlie, and Charlie has every right to be upset by the fact that this person she's ostensibly shared her life, her heart, and her body with could keep something like this from her. Charlie's entire personality means she gives every part of herself to her partner, and for someone like Vaggie it's just not a healthy dynamic for either of them.

And Rosie, my sweet sadistic darling; you know nothing about Vaggie. Don't speak on her behalf. Yes, it can be hard to admit to something that would hurt someone you care about. But being the reason for countless mortal souls being destroyed? When your partner cares so deeply for her people? That's not something I really feel a romantic relationship should be able to survive. At least it shouldn't be resolved by the appearance of Vaggie's wings and a fucking keychain.

One piece of life advice I have heard that seems applicable here is always examine your thoughts. The first thought you have is what you're programmed to think, the second thought is what you actually feel? When Rosie asked Charlie if doubted whether Vaggie loved her she went "No, yes? No!" And that last one sounded more like she was trying to convince herself of it than she was really thinking through her feelings. Charlie sees the good in everyone, so Rosie's advice isn't super useful because of Charlie's own optimistic personality. Meanwhile Carmilla's advice to vaggie is just, not applicable at all. Everything she has done up to that point has been out of what she considers "love" for Charlie. Also... are we not going to talk about that line "fuel yourself with the fear of losing that someone who's your reason to live"?

Charlie would survive just fine without Vaggie. I cannot say the same about the reverse. There is this sort energy between them that just brings out the parts of them that on a straight couple would be red flags all around but get a pass because gay.

Charlie constantly ignores Vaggie's practical advice? Girl dump him he doesn't value you!

Vaggie as a male consistently tries to tell Charlie not to be herself. To change things about her to make her more palatable to a population that only respects brute shows of power and doesn't give a flying fuck about her? Girl dump him he shouldn't be trying to change you!

And I'll be real, a huge draw for a lot of Charlastor shippers is the "I can fix him/I can make her worse" angle. But here's the thing, both Alastor and Charlie enter that dynamic knowing exactly what the other's about. There's no pretensions or illusions. Charlie knows he's a dangerous overlord and a Dealmaker. Alastor knows she's got plenty of exploitable issues that he can take advantage of but the core of her convictions is entirely solid. Charlie making him better isn't the sort of redemption of him being charitable. It's the "oh fuck I have empathy now and I don't like it" kind.

I just don't see enough compromise in the personalities of Charlie or Vaggie that explain to me why they would stay together after the revelation? I don't see why Charlie would want to stay with someone who willingly slaughtered thousands of souls and never had a problem with it before. Nor has she demonstrated a change of heart regarding sinners and their ability to change. She cares about people achieving redemption because of how it will affect Charlie, not because she gives a shit about what happens to these sinners.

I am fairly certain I drifted from your ask entirely but I hope you enjoyed this ramble Nonny.

[moonmeg]

Heeey! I've always adored your comics. They're even the reason that I'm into the Wittobane Fandom! Anwayyy, I wanna know how Caleb's different viewpoint on some subjects from Evelyn and his lack of organic magic might affect his dynamic with his family in the au in which he does live

Will Caleb struggle to manage the life of a Dad, especially when his kids are a mix of another being AND a different culture? Do you think he'll keep his past a secret? I'm sure he'll try his best to be a great dad and protect his kids, but will that mean telling them of their origin (of being relater to both witch hunters and witches)? Or let them grow up with the belief a lie, something like "he's an orphan with no family or connection of any sort" since that is half true..

Ah! Caleb's dynamic with characters is always so interesting!! I'd love to know your thoughts :)

Heyyy! I'm so happy and flattered to hear you enjoy my silly little comic! Seriously, no idea what I'm doing but it seems to work lmao

As for your question: there is a comic where Caleb voices thoughts of guilt he'd have if Evelyn's and his child would turn out more human than witch. Be it appearance wise or related to magic abilities. He's scared others will put it at too high a pedestal and be mocking or excluding. Much like is actually the case with Robyn and his school yard taunt.

But he wouldn't keep part of their identity from them. They are half human, and they deserve to know that. If they'd ask him to tell more about the human realm, he'd answer their every question. Well... almost every question. He wouldn't speak much about his past, and especially when they are younger, he would keep the fact he participated in witch hunts unspoken, but he will tell them once they're able to grasp it better. Before that happens, though, most of the time, he simply says he has made many terrible mistakes in his youth.

That aspect is among the only things that might affect his relationship with his children negatively. He's trying his absolute best to be a good father overall, and he's quite successful with that. His children love him, they seek comfort in him, they love and want to spend time with him, they trust him. That is so sacred to him because it lets him know he's doing something right in his fatherly role and that essentially, he is better than his own father.

He is so scared of staining his darlings' adoration and trust in him by telling them what a horrible person he used to be. A liar, a thief*, an accomplice to murderers. Evelyn and his children are his everything. They are his world, his heartbeat and the air that he breathes. Evelyn forgave him. But will his children? This fear they may not, the fear that after they know the truth, their relationship will never be the same again, eats him alive. His only comfort is his wife's embrace and her reassuring words.

He does eventually tell them. He's met with different reactions initially, and some father-child bonds need longer to heal again than others, but if the Clawthorne kids inherited one thing from their mother, it's her forgiving and understanding nature.

[garbinge]

oh. my. gosh. Tay. incredible. like i seriously cannot handle this. this relationship is so fresh and new to this fandom I feel like because we just think that Jax would be 10 toes down for family all the time but the way you described their relationship having that in it's own unique way and him quite literally not liking her and giving her shit and how she has had to do so much to get him to like her and fails and how jax is just so stuck in his head in his world to see that she is constantly trying!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO she's not like being his little errand boy or like sucking up to him i just it's perfect. also need to call out the crow eater line because what a fucking way to describe it im sorry its perfection. i need to analyze every one of these interactions between them!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!

Desperate

Jax Teller & OC Claire Morrow

For @narcosfandomdiscord Book of In Urgent Need of Assistance: "One day I'll wake up and it won't hurt so much." and Desperate

Warnings: 18+, language, angst, smoking/weed, mentions of injury/violence, Jax Slander

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Claire Morrow IS my Roman Empire. i think about her constantly. i have yet to come up with a longfic plot for her, so for now i just keep putting her in angsty little one-shots and calling it a day

By the time they had gotten back to her apartment, Claire hadn't been expecting Jax to wait around for her. It would be far from the first time that he stormed out of her place before they got the chance to talk about everything that was going on. Sometimes she wondered if it was a purposeful move on his part—a way to avoid having to tell her things that he didn’t want her knowing, or hearing about things that he wanted no part of. Other times she simply didn't believe that her brother was that smart.

But there he was, sitting at the tiny table that was in her kitchen. He heard her as she entered the room, but he didn’t turn to look at her. It wasn’t until she was sitting on the chair kitty-corner to his that he deemed to look at her at all. It was the first time in a long time that she had seen anything resembling sympathy on his face, more specifically sympathy that was meant for her. Must've been the bruises littered across her cheek that was catching the light.

She pulled one leg up so that her foot was resting on the edge of the seat of her chair. Wrapping her arms around her bent leg, she rested her chin on top of her knee. There were plenty of things that she wanted to say, but past experiences with everyone in her family had taught her that the second she opened her mouth, their tirades would come. So now, she waited.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Jax finally asked, taking his baseball cap off and tossing it onto her table as he did.

Claire didn’t answer right away, feeling like the question was more rhetorical than anything, like Jax was just coming out of the gate with that to tee himself up nicely for the rest of his rant about what exactly he thought she had been thinking. She sat silently, not breaking eye contact with him even as she reached for the joint and lighter that were on her kitchen table.

Jax raised his eyebrows. “Nothing? You got nothin' to say for yourself?”

“Oh, sorry,” she said, sarcasm etched deep into her tone as she placed the joint between her lips. Flicking the lighter, she spoke around it, words muffled but still plenty clear enough for Jax to hear what she was saying. “Didn’t sound like a question you really wanted my answer to.”

“I can't wrap my head around it. So please,” he held his arms out slightly, “explain.”

Claire nodded but she didn’t get around to answering his question right away. She inhaled deeply off the joint in her hand, letting it crawl down the column of her throat and linger there for a few long seconds before allowing it to slip out as smoke between her lips. For a brief moment she contemplated extending it in an offer to Jax, but thought better of it quickly and kept it for herself.

“It's been an absolute shitshow on set,” she told him, making a point not to look him in the eyes as she did.

“Since when do you care what happens at the fucking porn studio?”

She gestured towards the door angrily with her hand that was holding the joint. “Since Luann asked me for some fucking help!”

He scoffed. “So you thought—”

“I thought,” she cut him off, “that I would help out since all anyone in the club ever does is show up to gawk at the girls. I helped her shoot. I helped her edit. Then all this shit with Georgie started popping off and all the girls started freaking the fuck out.”

“We took care of that.” Jax said it like it was a declaration.

Claire laughed in his face before taking another drag. “Yeah, and then Lyla came in with her nose nearly broken. So, you know,” smoke came out in tendrils with each word she said, “Luann started to think that maybe whatever you did, didn't work.”

“So she asked you?”

“No. She didn’t ask anyone, but I knew that she really didn’t want to ask you again.” She saw the way that indignant confusion went across Jax's face. “Come on, Jax. You guys have been treating her like absolute shit throughout this whole thing. And then you act like you're doing her a favor.” She shook her head, tone dropping to a mutter. “Par for the fucking course.”

“What's your fucking problem?”

She shook her head, kicking off with a lie before getting to the truth. “I don’t have a problem. And now, thanks to me, you and Luann and all the fucking girls at Cara Cara have one less to deal with too.” She stood up. “You're welcome.” She turned and headed for the fridge.

Jax watched from the table as she dug around in her refrigerator. When she popped back up into view again, she had a box of takeout in her hand. Swinging the door shut, she grabbed a fork from the drawer. She tucked into her food without even bothering to heat it up. Even if the day had been a better one, she wouldn't have put that minimal amount of time into prepping the food for herself. She paid no mind to the way that her brother was looking at her as she shoveled one forkful of rice after another into her mouth. Now that her adrenaline had runs its course, all those pesky little sensations like hunger and exhaustion and pain were starting to creep back in.

Silence settled between them again as Claire stood and leaned back against her counter while Jax stayed seated at her table. As Jax watched her, he couldn’t quite remember the last time it was just the two of them existing alone together like this. One of them was always traveling with a crowd—usually Jax. And, more often than not, wherever Claire was, Clay or Gemma wasn't far. It was never just them, and as Jax continued to sit and watch her, he didn’t know what to make of any of it.

He fussed with his cap that was still on top of her table. He knew that there were things that he wanted to say to her, but now it all just came through like static on the radio, one thought not discernible from the next.

“Do you realize,” Claire spoke up, some rice still tucked in her cheek as she spoke, “that everyone just is doing shit to try and keep you happy? Or,” she scoffed, “the closest thing to it?”

Jax shook his head. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Right now, specifically, I'm talking about Luann and the girls. They've been losing it but didn’t want to tell you because they didn’t want you getting upset again. They all feel like they owe you. And you,” she paused, looking at the container of food in front of her, unable to look him in the eye as she said, “you eat that type of shit right up.” She pushed rice around with her fork. “You always have.”

He shook his head, working overtime to not consider the fact that his sister was absolutely correct in everything that she was saying. He didn’t want his world put off-kilter so much. “You're insane.”

Claire scoffed, finally looking at him again. “Yeah, it's in the fucking genes.” She took another bite, granting herself a brief reprieve before asking, “You really going to sit there and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about?”

Jax had no problem lying, to anyone really, but especially to Claire. He'd done it outright and by omission their entire lives. The levels of success varied, but it never stopped him from trying. But now, for some reason, he found himself having a hard time faking genuine denial with her. Maybe it was because for the first time in a long time she was being honest with him too. Real honesty, not the type she usually doled out that was cloaked by layer after layer of sarcasm and well-timed jokes.

He rapped his knuckles lightly against the top of the table as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. “I don't—"

“Forget about Luann and the girls. What,” she huffed, setting her food on the counter and going back to where she'd been sitting before, “what about me?”

He shook his head in confusion. “What about you?”

She jerked her thumb over her shoulder towards the door. “I'm the one who went and took care of shit tonight, Jax. I'm the one who rolled up to Georgie's fucking house with a crowbar and—”

“A fucking crowbar? Jesus Christ, Claire—”

She continued on like he hadn't spoken. “And you still haven't asked me if I'm okay.”

He gestured to her face. “I can see the answer to that.”

She shook her head, disgust on her face. “Don't do that.”

“What?”

“You know what.” She let that statement hang in the air. “They do all that shit to try and keep you happy. Mom does, the club does. And, as much as I hate it, so do I.”

Jax laughed before he could stop himself. She almost had him. Until those last three words, he was taking everything that she was throwing at him. But that was just a tad too far for him to believe. For as long as he could remember, she'd been a thorn in his side and she loved every second of it. He'd chalked some of it up to typical younger sibling things, the kind of stuff that Thomas probably would've done too if he'd gotten the chance. But then the rest of it? It felt like jealousy, maybe, or even just a desire to nettle him for pure enjoyment on her end. Sometimes he chalked it up to the crazy she must've inherited from Gemma.

But in that moment, the look in her eyes almost seemed heartfelt. If he'd been anyone else he would've taken her at her word but he knew better. He'd watched her grow up, seen the way that she was always so easily able to get what she wanted from Clay and Gemma. Jax and his happiness were the furthest things from her mind.

“You've never given a shit about that.”

Propping her elbows harshly on the table, she raked her fingers back through her hair. It still wasn't completely dry from the shower and left a traces of residue between her fingers. “I've never been able to figure out how to do it, but that doesn't mean that I've never given a shit.” Looking at him, she felt the familiar burn of tears growing in her eyes. “For a long time I tried so hard to just get you…get you to fucking like me. When we were kids I tried so hard. And then I stopped because it wasn't working and you were so mean. I stopped and I tried not to care anymore and I tried to give up. I just kept telling myself, ‘One day I'll wake up and it won’t hurt so much.’ But it never happened. It still does.” She shook her head, just as much at herself and the emotions welling in her chest as at Jax. “And when Luann asked me for my help at the studio, I thought that maybe that would do it, you know? And maybe if I took care of Georgie and you saw that I can pull my weight, then maybe you'd get around to caring about me.”

“It's not—”

“You know how much it sucks, how…how fucking pathetic it feels, that some days I’m trying as hard as those fucking Crow Eaters to get you to give a shit about me? You know how sad and desperate that makes me feel? You talk all that shit about family with the guys in the club, those people you call brother just because they have the same piece of leather on their backs. But then, when it comes to your real actual family…this is all you have left for me? Those guys might be in your club but you're my brother.”

He could tell by the tremble in her fingertips that those were words she had been sitting on for a long time. They'd burrowed and made a home deep down in her chest and she had been content to leave them in hibernation indefinitely. He felt bad, angry too. It wasn't the first or the last time that she made him feel like an idiot, either.

Claire couldn’t make herself look at him. Real vulnerability was something that was so hard to come by in their family, and now that she felt the sinking pit in her stomach she started to understand why. There was a tiny part of her that wanted to take it all back, but it was too late now—she was probably better for it.

He'd never given much thought to whether or not Claire cared about being liked, by him or by anyone else. She certainly never acted like it was a concern of hers. Plus, in his mind, when it came to family it didn't really matter how much someone liked you, because at the end of the day they loved you and that would always outweigh everything else. That's how their family always ended up back in the same messes—no matter the anger, they would always show up at the eleventh hour. What else mattered?

Claire sniffled quietly as she tried to wipe at her face as casually as possible. “Now look who has nothing to say,” she forced out. Leaning back in her chair, she said, “Next time, just fucking say thank you and ask if I'm okay. It's a, a decent place to start.”

The discomfort that was burning a trail down the back of Jax's neck was telling him that this was one of those times when he should be apologizing, but that type of thing had never been his strong suit. This was one of the few times that he wished he was a little better at it.

“This isn't the kinda shit you should be handling on your own,” he told her, voice gentler than it'd been so far as he nodded towards the bruises on her face.

Claire could see it on his face that he was trying. And if she had been less exhausted, if she'd been in a more forgiving mood, she would've given him credit for that. But the Morrow in her was getting the best of her and she wasn’t about to hand him any kind of participation trophy after everything that had happened.

“You're telling me that if I'd called, you wouldn't have sent me to voicemail?”

He sank back in his chair as though her words had physically pushed him away. “This what you're always thinking about whenever you call me?”

She shrugged. “I don't know. Usually it doesn't…” she trailed off, wanting to find the right words. “The stakes felt higher this time, I guess.”

Quiet washed over them again. Claire switched back and forth between looking at the tabletop, and looking at her brother. She was fairly positive that Jax hadn't ever let her go this long uninterrupted. It felt like the first time she was ever able to lead a conversation with him. She had no idea what good it would do, if any, but it was something at least. Part of her was still just stuck on the fact that he had stayed and waited. It wasn't necessarily any great feat, but for Jax it was something close.

“I'm glad you're alright,” he said with a nod. When Claire nodded back at him in response, a small smirk crossed his face as he said, “I'm glad you beat Georgie's ass, too.”

Claire didn’t want to, but she found herself laughing with him for the moment. It helped shed some of the weight that had been crushing her chest. “It felt kinda good. Lyla's busted nose is nothing compared to what his looks like now.”

Jax chuckled and for a moment they seemed like a pair of teenagers, talking to each other about the things they could never tell their parents. It was the kind of moment they never had when they were actual teenagers. It was refreshing in its own way, even if they were still avoiding the gaping wound of a problem between them.

“Did you tell Luann?”

Claire shook her head. “No. Did you tell Clay or—”

“Hell no,” he stopped her sentence short. “Neither of us would hear the end of it. I'd lay low ‘til those fade.”

She grazed her fingers over the slightly raised skin of her cheek. “Right.”

The exhaustion of the evening was starting to hit Jax, too. It felt useless to ask, but he still did. “Need anything?”

She shook her head. “I'm good.”

“You sure? I can stay.”

She laughed, and the sound was as humorous as it was sad. “Don't. It's fine.”

Jax frowned but he didn’t fight her on it. Reaching to grab his baseball cap of her table, he spoke as he pulled it down onto his head. “Alright. I'm gonna head out, then.”

Claire nodded, watching him as he walked around the table. “Night.”

“Night.” He rested his hand on her shoulder for a moment as he walked by. “Call me tomorrow, let me know how shit goes at the studio.”

“Sounds good.”

Jax paused when he was halfway out the door of her apartment. “Claire?”

She raised her eyebrows, and Jax saw every ounce of tiredness that she was weighing on her. “Yeah?”

“Thanks, and…” he trailed off, knowing how he should end the sentence and still not able to say it.

There would be time for more fights about it another day, so Claire let this one go for the sake of her own sanity. “Yeah. I'll call you tomorrow.”

She wasn't able to fully slump back in her chair until she heard Jax's bike start up and then fade into the distance. Once it was silent in her apartment and on the lot again, she all but melted into the seat of her chair, wanting nothing more than to go to bed and disappear under the covers, but feeling like she couldn’t make the last of the trek to do so.

(divider by @thecutestgrotto 💞)

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[rainingcatsandjune]

haha heyy its been a while 😭😭 sorry for the lack of activity here,,, school has been kicking my butt + i've gotten SUPER hyperfixated on disco elysium,,,, BUT THE MOMENT I SAW THE ORIGINAL I KNEW I HAD TO DRAW SAM AS THIS RAHSBBFBDN i seriously need to catch up on the recent audios 😭😭😭 ANYWAY enjoy :)

vvvvv ORIGINAL BELOW vvvvv

shhhhghhshhshhsh youre telling me this ISNT sam??? like????

[unspuncreature]

howdy, y’all

i am scheduled for top surgery in just a few short months! i’ve wanted this surgery since i was 14, and i’m beyond stoked that it’s really truly finally happening

although i have a little in savings, i live paycheck to paycheck, and i need your help to keep the lights on while i’m recovering

click here to view my gofundme campaign! even a $5 or $10 gift goes a long way towards offsetting the costs of surgery not covered by my insurance provider and carrying me through recovery while i am unable to work

if you’re unable to donate right now, please share this post to your dashboard, with your personal trainer, on your nearest bathroom stall wall, or with that one 3 person group chat with the really specific name. you know the one i’m talking about

sincerely, thank you so much for taking the time to read and share and donate. this online space has been beyond important to me through transition, and i wouldn’t be the person i am today without you and your shitposts and meta and edits and fanart and fic and friendship

i love u guys :o)

[chiquilines]

They will find each other again and again and again, and in one life, they will be happy

[misstopsyturvy]

From someone who is VERY new to the fandom and all the lore and such, I wanna say that your posting has made me want to dive deeper.

I'd never watched any of the LOTR films or read the books, the show was my gateway into the fandom so I've been trying to catch up and figure out whats what and you've helped tremendously with that. Before watching the show I'd only seen bits and pieces of LOTR media, mainly memes but when it came to Galadriel I'd assumed she was this pure being (mainly cause of the costuming and how bright she always looked). Then I watched the show and figured I'd assumed wrong and she's actually quite a flawed character and I love that so much. And then I came across you posts and it helped me understand the character even more, you explain things so clearly for someone whose still trying to understand the Tolkien world, so seriously thank you for that.

I'm so sorry a part of the fandom are being dicks, you don't deserve that at all.

Well, it turns out I’m not the Sauron of the Sauron x Galadriel fandom, at all; I’m freaking Morgoth who got itself banished to the Void by “the Valar” of the Haladriel fandom.

I’m not apologizing for anything, because there is nothing for me to apologize for. I’m entitled to my personal views and interpretation. Have your witch hunt all you want, it won’t change a thing. Nor it will make your wishful thinking come true, sorry. And it won’t stop me from talking about whatever I want on my own damn blog. Because this is a Sauron x Galadriel blog, outside from the “The Rings of Power” fandom, too. I usually use the term “Saurondriel” (and not “Haladriel”) for a reason.

And this sort of attitude is also priceless coming from people who are victims of harassment by actual antis. Harassing fellow shippers is clearly a good technique to make the fandom grow and thrive. As well as accusing others of starting “shipping wars” when the only thing I did was saying Celeborn most likely won’t be on Season 3, he should only come back in Season 5 after Galadriel actually closes the door on Sauron, otherwise it would be weird for their marriage. Where is the shipping war, exactly?

And my post wasn’t about shipping, at all. I was speculating about Season 3. Obviously. And I clearly stated that some fans, indeed, mean well and want Celeborn returning as soon as possible to “Rings of Power” for good reasons, and not with some anti Sauron x Galadriel agenda. But they need to be mindful of the antis arguments when making the case for Celeborn return. Some chose to ignore this for whatever reason.

This was not my first post about Celeborn (although I usually don’t mention him, nor tag him, nor I have any interest on his character, overall), but this particular one end up getting shared on Discord. Why? Again, I don’t know, but there appears to be some strange motive going on in here that I’m not aware of. I clearly pressed a lot of Haladriel fans, and people don’t get pressed unless they recognize some truth in what others are saying. So, deal with your own consciousness. That’s not my problem. If you don’t share my views and I’m such a bother, please either ignore me or block me. So many did just that, already.

I was met with arrogance and rudeness by some Haladriel users. And they decided to tell me they are the older shippers, the ones who’ve been around since 2022, and they dealt with a lot of sh*t from antis. With that I emphasize, because no one should have to deal with that. But then, they decided to, quote, give me their “credentials” and show me how *they* built this fandom. Meaning, my opinion is irrelevant, because I’m a newcomer (they think). When I mentioned I’ve been a Tolkien fan since childhood, the reaction was to accuse me of “trying to prove myself” to the Tolkien fandom? Ok, I guess.

This sort of atitude from “older shippers” is nothing new, this happens in every fandom. But, in this case, you might have built the Haladriel fandom, but you surely didn’t start the Sauron x Galadriel fandom. That’s been around since the late 1970’s, ever since “The Silmarillion” was first published. So, you don’t own the Sauron x Galadriel fandom, as you don’t own Haladriel or Saurondriel, for that matter, and folks will have different views and interpretations of the ship. Find your niche and stick to it.

But many of you don’t even like Sauron character, for starters. This has been obvious to me for a very long time, and I kept my mouth shut. You see him as pure evil and too far gone, no nuance whatsoever, and nothing else. Like the “dudebros” from Reddit. Perhaps you are all spending too much time debating with those trolls instead of digging into Tolkien lore and legendarium for answers.

This is what I try to do in my blog: providing some Tolkien lore analysis and context to Sauron and Galadriel interactions and how the ship can fit into the legendarium. It might get a bit too heavy on the religious side at times, but it’s Tolkien, after all. And because of that, I’m a target for Tolkien purists and the “purity police”, who keep hounding my every post with nonsense about Eldar sex and marriage customs (as if I’m not aware of them). And some of them pretend to be shippers, yes.

Now, I’m also a target for “Galadriel stans” and Haladriels, it seems. Because I said Galadriel is a flawed and nuanced character? Because she obviously is, that’s what makes her compelling and relatable to viewers. I love her for all the reasons the “lorebros” hate her.

Instead, you all decided to focus on Celeborn for some reason, and start a witch hunt against my blog. A NPC character on Galadriel’s story in “Lord of the Rings”. Or maybe that’s what got you all so pressed? Me talking about how Simon Tolkien might share his late father, Christopher, views on the subject? Well, he’s the head of Tolkien estate, and the responsible for his grandfather’s legacy, not you and I. And targeting me won’t change that.

I was not accusing any of you of being the “antis masquerading as shippers” on my OG post (because I deal with those on my blog and I’ve never interacted with you) but if the shoe fits, what else can I say? I was also accused of “gatekeeping what others can and can’t enjoy”, and I “lack the authority to do that”. I never said anything of that sort. And indeed, I’m only a small blog with no real weight on the overall fandom. The majority of the shippers probably doesn’t even know who I am (well, many do now that someone decided to share it on Discord?). So I’m not sure what it is I’m gatekeeping here. And who’s the authority of the fandom? Where can I reach them?

[roe-and-memory]

every time someone says cars 3 is the worst cars movie another angel punches me in the stomach and pulls my hair.

this is probably just my intense special interest in the origins of nascar, but that movie feels like such a nice send-off for the main “trilogy”, and yes people can have their own opinions but i NEED to talk about how much this movie means to me

first of all, a major misconception is that lightning quit racing - he DIDNT! this is proven by both the end of the movie (where he says hes obviously going to keep racing) and cars on the road where, in the final episode, cruz and lightning wish each other “goodbye” and say they’ll see each other on the racetrack. he was only cruz’s crew chief for that one season, presumably healing from the trauma of the crash (because lets be real his ass did not mentally recover from that in FOUR MONTHS) and also waiting for a permanent crew chief to take his place.

second.. the sheer amount of detail put into that movie is INSANE. the racing center being shaped like grandstands at a track? fireball beach being both a direct reference to the daytona beach race course and also “fireball roberts”, a 1950s racer (he was actually the reason that firesuits were mandated in the sport), we meet a bunch of 1950s racers as well and just augh.. so good. also, the detail of thomasville being in north carolina is brilliant - N.C is the “racing state”, and thomasville speedway is based off of north wilkesboro, a track that was opened in 1949, and last used in 1996 (aside from the series of races in 2010), and it fell into disrepair. (fun fact, north wilkesboro is reopening in 2024 for the nascar all star race!! they fixed my bbg)

third. cars three brings so much more lore than the first movie did. yes, we knew doc raced in the 50s when the sport was getting its start, but in cars 3? they brought in characters based off of real 1950s racers (doc is based off of herb thomas, smokey is smokey yunick, lou is louise smith, junior is junior johnson, river is wendell scott, and leroy hemming is tim flock) (another reference in the movie is “jocko flockos party supplies” as macks disguise - jocko flocko was tim flocks pet monkey that was the FIRST and only co-driver in the history of the sport. he won a race with his monkey in the car with him :) )

as i was saying, the lore we learn is insane. we learn that lou and river had to fight for their place in the sport, which is similar to what both louise smith and wendell scott experienced in the 50s, they show us accurately how racing worked back then too - they didnt have fancy pits, they had a fence and a pit member with a sign that would tell them to come in the next lap for service. all of these cars are gen 1 nascar, which means that they were strictly stock - they had much more intense pit sessions than any of the other “built for racing” generations have ever needed. i recall watching a race wherein smokey yunick had to change the radiator of one of his racers vehicles mid-race due to a crash.

this isnt everything, but seriously for an animated movie about talking cars, they discuss grief and hardships and handle them so well its insane. i know cruz isnt everyones cup of tea, but (in reference to the flip scene at the end of the movie) watching cruz get shoved into the sport must’ve been insane for lou to watch. she saw herself in that girl. it wasnt some movie about lightning giving up, it was him sharing the torch with another kid who lost their way just like he had.

also i dont cry at movies but i literally bawl my fucking eyes out at the letters scene every time. its PATHETIC (its not im literally tearing up just thinking about it)