#but seriously if we have shared words this year pls know you mean the world to me and i’m so thankful to be here with you!!!
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mappingthesky · 1 month ago
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as 2024 comes to a close i jus wanna say how much fun I’ve had on this blog over the past year :’) i feel so grateful for every person ive interacted with and every friend i’ve made, and for anyone who has ever supported the 108k+ words (???) of gay fanfic i’ve written this year :’) here’s to more words and more fun times ::)
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pen-observing · 3 years ago
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Hi! If you will have any inspiration about this
What do you think would be little things that brothers would bring you as courting you? As like birds or penguins with rocks and sticks?
Thank you 💜
sjdaj this was fun! i did have an image of lucifer bringing feathers as a meme in my mind for a sec
what the brothers bring you while courting you/wanting to impress you:
Lucifer:
He is what many would consider to be a classic idea of a man. Tall, dark, handsome with refined taste. Because of this he tries to be refined in what he brings you as well. Why should you two not share such traits?
Lucifer because of this relies on the extravagant, classic choices. Most of all – jewelry.
Rings, necklaces, bracelets – everything he sees while out on an errand that catches his eye.
He also tries to match some items with you. He has a golden pen, why shouldn’t you have one as well?
However, one thing that gets in his way is that: no matter how strong his impulse to buy or obtain rare jewels is – he cannot always give them to you.
He overthinks it.
‘if I give them two rings two weeks in a row, would that be too much? Would they then spend money to buy an outfit that matches it? Would the gifts lose their meaning if I don’t space them out? If I continue to give them so many gifts, they would feel responsible to return them so they would spend more money on me and we both know that I am the one who has more money so--’
All these thoughts come to him. Sometimes Lucifer even thinks that your pride would be hurt if he gives you jewels so often.
He tries not to go overboard but he knows that there is a whole desk drawer of little boxes just waiting for the right time to go to you.
Mammon:
No matter how much Mammon may chase gold and sparkles – he is no Lucifer and there is no way that he can just rely on jewels.
Sure, on very special occasions he manages to surprise you with them and that does make it more meaningful.
Mammon puts aside everything else and actually gets a job whenever your birthday is close.
So what else could be bring you?
He is well aware of how birds bring branches or rocks – how sometimes they even spend so much time flying high above and continuously dropping walnuts for others on the road until they crack. His approach is similar.
When you have issues or need to open something – he always offers himself.
It is a bit silly but being there for someone counts.
Besides this – every trinket that he sees somehow ends up in your room
Plushies, fun masks, nail polish that matches his, a leaf that fell in his hair while he was sleeping under a tree and dreamt of you.
He also brings postcards, magazines, photos you might enjoy.
Once he brought you a heart shaped stone and bragged about how his keen eye managed to observe it in the clean river!
Something in every corner of your room will be adjacent to him.
“What if I brought you branches?” “What?” “Nothing!”
He just wanted to ask!
Leviathan:
Lucifer is impulsive in buying just one thing, Levi, however, is impulsive all around.
And that impulsivity goes in many directions.
He is able to use and calculate all his Akuzon points to make sure that you get 10 products instead of just 1.
He takes it very, very seriously.
Sometimes he buys you way too many snacks, other times he orders 5 costumes
Often his courting relies on the thought; what if we shared this!
His mind says that the more you have in common the better match you are.
This is why he brings matching keychains or slippers or even computer backgrounds and mousepads.
He still knows that ‘matching’ does not fully count but it really warms his heart when he sees that you are willing to share and indulge in those small things that would not really matter to others.
It gives him a confidence boost and reassures him that you are in fact open to him.
However, something still has to be yours alone.
Yours alone, from his hands and he needs to make sure of that.
Levi does bring you pearls like penguins do.
And he did in fact spend a long time underwater making sure he brings the best ones.
Just... never show him the video that trended of a female penguin cheating on her partner in the human world.
Satan:
Satan, no matter how much he tries to deny it, is in many ways similar to Lucifer.
He might dress the way he does but he tries to be a classic gentleman in this regard.
He does bring jewelry too – however he never brings it without a deeper, more profound reason.
‘so what if this ring is rare? What does it matter to them? Nothing.’
He has to hear you say it is very pretty to give it to you.
The necklace needs to remind him of your eyes or he is not buying it at all.
Because of this – he is very picky so few gifts are of this nature.
What else does he bring?
Satan writes you notes all the time.
Sometimes they are there to remind you of water or meals, other times they are short quotes.
In fact, he brings you annotated books; lines that remind him of you; quotes of feelings he knows thanks to you.
He brings you parts of himself and looks for parts of you in everything.
This is his idea of courting.
And don’t be surprised to get letters (wax made by him) under your door even if you live close by.
Asmodeus:
Unlike the others, Asmo has no problems with giving you whatever his own impulse says to.
Why should he hide these 2 perfumes that he bought thinking of you and wait for 3 weeks to present them to you?
No, do it right then and there because your heart felt the love or do not do it at all!
Because of this, his impulse costs a lot. Only second to Lucifer.
Asmo wants to give you luxurious things but he knows that jewelry alone can get boring rather fast and is limited by time and fashion and practicality etc.
So he gives you luxury in everything.
New lines of fragrance are yours as well as his, new skin care products that few humans can buy just show up at your door.
Does he also give you framed photos of him? Yes
Does he give you best silk? Also yes.
Why should the two of you not enjoy these things? You deserve it after all.
Still, Asmo is very sentimental too.
He gifts you photo albums of things that make him feel so. Memories of trips and walks; of sleepovers and quiet nights as well.
Yes, luxury is there but this small pretty pen is cheap and has hearts on it! He simply has to give it to you!
Beelzebub:
Beelzebub knows the ‘proper’, ‘correct’ or expected ways to court someone.
He knows what gifts others give and why.
But, all of that seems slightly...like vanity or showing off to him.
It just wouldn’t feel right to give you a framed work of art or color stones that glimmer if it does not really awake something.
His gifts are as gentle as him.
Yes, food is the most obvious choice but he really does worry if you are eating well because humans are fragile.
Flowers that he sees in shops or on walks.
While once walking with Luke he saw some and said how pretty they would look on you. Luke taught him to make flower crowns for that reason.
Most of his gifts are handmade.
He wants to help you on his own no matter what.
The most consistent gifts however are those that you said you needed.
Doesn’t matter when you said it or how, maybe it was just a passing thought, but he remembers and he gets them for you.
Belphegor:
it wouldn’t be wrong to say that he manages to mix up all of these ways and refuses to settle down on just one type.
This is because he is similar to Beel.
Beel gives you thinks you said you needed; Belphie gives you those you did not even notice.
He is constantly observing you and being as smart as he is – nothing escapes him.
You don’t have to complain how you grew bored of your boots or how annoying those headphones are.
He just notices it and gives you new ones.
Sometimes he looks at you during a party in Diavolo’s castle and things that a necklace is missing and would actually be useful in the future as well; so, he buys it.
Books for assignments you are not aware you will need next year find their way to your table. Yes, it is a year but he is a published Devildom scholar so trust him with this.
Paintings, matching rings with stars, a keychain of some small alien from a human TV show etc.
He treads the lines of outlandish with luxury and simple.
Seeing you surprised no matter what because you never mentioned these things always brings him joy.
a/n: how tf do you spell jewelry is it this or jewellery or i hate his word pls
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stormblessed95 · 3 years ago
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I am a jikooker but when I thought about the shipping thing...i can't help but think that this is not the first time in kpop that people shipping someone or shipping wars going on...it's been happening from a long....long time now.... analysis, theories... evrything....but have ever one ship come out to be real????
I don't think so...
So how can we sure that jikook is real and not just a ship...???
I mean yeah we know that their behaviour speaks love, commitment...and i agree with that...but don't u think that something like this always happens in evry band...thts why there is atleast one ship in evry band....and never ever i think or see any ship came out to be real....after disband..we see them get married to the girls they love...
So may be it's all been done by their companies ryt???thts why people always find something in their behaviour to ship them...
I don't know it's just make me think...that no ship ever came out to be real...so why we think jikook is real????
May be after disband....they both too announce about their girlfriends which we dnt know abt ryt now....
Sorry but it's just hard to believe in the k-pop World...where there is not even a single time any ship become real...to believe that jikook is 💯 real and in love and that they are different from any other ships....OR this time...this ship,i mean jikook is real ....
And if one day jikook announce that they are actually together...i can't even imagine how world will gonna react...bcz it will gonna b the first time I think...that any ship ever in k-pop (i mean gay ones) announce that yes they are together....the happiness m gonna feel i can't even tell ......🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺but it's hard....not just for them to announce bcz they are gay....but it's hard to believe for us too if we clearly knows how the shipping culture works evry damn year in k-pop....and at the end when they disband....nothing comes out to be real...
(And pls dnt take my words in a wrong way...i love jikook dearly...and sorry for my rant and my bad English ...it's not my first language)
Thankyou...💜
Well that's just simply not true.
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Kpop ships that came true, some examples:
Crush and Joy (R&B solo singer and Red Velvet)
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And in 2021, they were confirmed to be dating
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Hyuna and Dawn (former members of 4 minute and Pentagon and Triple H) I'm not scrolling back through till 2016 for ship twts, but people shipped them since Triple H debut. Lol and were mad about it too. And were saying they couldn't be dating because Hyuna called Dawn her dongsaeng all the time.
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In 2018 they were confronted with dating rumors, their company denied them all. They later did their own interview and confirmed all the rumors and said they had been dating (as suspected) since 2016. After that interview, their company dropped them. They are now with a new company and are happily engaged
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Okay, searching back so many years is taking forever, so take my word for it or go search yourself if you wanna. Lmao but Ryeowook (Super Junior) and Ari (Tahiti) were shipped since they were very close as junior and senior in the kpop world. They confirmed dating rumors at the end of 2020.
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Jennie (Blackpink) and Kai (EXO) were being shipped due to Instagram "interactions" and some friendly behaviors. They were then confirmed as a couple through leaked dispatch photos and the companies confirmed it. They have since broken up.
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Seriously though. Feel free to look up for about all these couples if you want. They have some pretty interesting stories at times as well as fan reactions being all across the board.
No GAY couples have come out. But why would that surprise you? Do you think gay idols don't exist? I promise you they do. But they aren't going to come out as a couple in Korea and expecting them do so is crossing boundaries as their fans. As for more information on all of that, refer to these posts here....
Homophobia in South Korea:
Former kpop idols/trainees talking about how there are plently of closeted and "open secret" LGBTQ couples within the industry that aren't talked about in order to protect the artists:
KM, shipping culture and how if they are a couple they are NOT going to be coming out and you shouldn't want them to:
How can we be sure? We can't. We don't know them. But we know what tell us and based off that and how they behave, they don't seem to be "just a ship." We do not know them. We do not have confirmation of anything, but doubting their bond and saying it's done by the company is not okay either. And dismissing the idea of gay people being in and dating in the kpop world because shipping exists also isn't okay either. 🤷🏻‍♀️
You don't have to think they are dating. I don't mind. You do need to leave them alone though and never expect more than what we are given now and not hope they "come out" and prove a ship right or wrong. Let them live the way they want to live. And if in 30 years they are still "roommates" well 🤷🏻‍♀️ or if in 30 years they are married to beautiful women with kids or with other people or release a tell all explaining how they were dating other people or dating each other? Well 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm happy as long as they are happy. That's all I want for them. And they seem happy right now 💜
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taestefully-in-luv · 4 years ago
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Always You | JJK (Seven)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 10.1k
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of erection, heated make out, marking, grinding, mentions of suicide:( (If this makes you uncomfortable pls skip), mentions of cheating, quick blowjob, swallowing,
Notes: sorry this chapter is shorter than the last! But we only have 2 chapters left guys! And they are long!!! Sorry in advance lol. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)
Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook runs his finger through your hair, his mouth hot on your neck as he leaves behind what feels like a million, slow kisses. You taste sweet and he’s reminded of the first time he got to do this with you and his heart swells at the memory. He feels you grind against him, making him impossibly harder as he grinds back. Your moans fill his ears and it sounds like a chorus of sweet, sweet music to him, he can’t help but grin into his kisses. Suddenly, the image of him kissing down your throat becomes blurry and the sound of your whines echo in the distance. He must be waking up.
Jungkook feels you hovering over him with shocked eyes and he can’t help but wonder what’s gotten into you. He can feel his head beginning to throb from the inevitable hang over that wishes to visit and he raises a hand over it. You continue to look down at him and that’s when he notices it. Them. The hickeys that spread across your skin and he goes absolutely pale.
He looks back at you with wide eyes but he can’t help but feel pride bloom all throughout his body as he looks at how he has marked you but those petals quickly shrivel up when he realizes how badly he must have messed up.
“Oh fuck.” He says under his breath.
“Yeah. ‘Oh fuck’” you repeat back.
Jungkook lifts himself up, leaning on his arms as he takes another look at the bruises that cover your skin. He releases a shaky breath contemplating what to say.
“Drunk.” His eyes slide to the side, “We were really…drunk.”
You narrow your eyes for a split second then look at him with ease,
“Yeah…right…drunk.” You quickly agree.
Jungkook and you share a moment of a silence, admiring one another’s work on the other. You hesitantly reach out, your fingers coming in contact with the side of his neck, brushing against his soft skin.
“This ones huge…I’m sorry.” You say, not sounding entirely sorry. A slight smirk graces your features.
“Ha, you don’t look very sorry.” Jungkook grabs a hold of your hand, “Plus, you don’t even want to see what I did to you.”
You retreat your hand back to touch your own skin, you shuffle out of the sheets and stand from the bed. You walk towards the little mirror over by Jungkook’s closet and take a look.
You audibly gasp, the purple marks that spread across your neck and collarbone are ones for the books.
“What the hell Jeon! How am I supposed to walk out of here today! Everyone’s going to see this!” you gesture towards yourself. “Oh my god.” You turn back to look in the mirror. “This is horrible.”
Jungkook leaves the bed to join you at the mirror,
“Holy shit.” He looks at himself, “I’m not any better!” he throws his hands up but he’s laughing. He’s fucking laughing! You watch in disbelief as he chuckles the fucking day away.
You watch him and you can’t help but start to laugh too. This is just so ridiculous.
“Wait wait…” Jungkook calms down, suddenly becoming serious. “We didn’t do anything else…right?”
“Why are you looking at me like that? Shouldn’t you also remember?”
“You’re the girl! Can’t you like tell…if we…” He motions his hands between your bodies.
“Oh my god. No, we didn’t do anything else. Do you really not remember everything?” you ask with a frown.
“I feel like I do…but I was just being you know, sure.”
Jungkook wishes he could remember everything in great detail but the reality is he was really drunk and some moments are hazier than others. Which is a fucking shame because he wants to remember the first moment you caressed his skin to his lips on yours.
“Do you remember everything?”
“I remember enough.” You admit.
You were drunk, yes. But the memory of you and Jungkook is almost crystal clear and fresh in your mind.
“Bottom line is…we were really drunk and drunk people do stuff like that all the time.” Your hands go to your hips, “I mean, I’ve literally made out with Trina before. Don’t feel special.” You wink, your tone is light and teasing and Jungkook finds you amusing.
“Just two drunk idiots.” Jungkook grins. “So no acting weird.”
“I won’t be weird, will you?”
“I���ll try my best.” He chuckles.
“I’m serious Jungkook, we can be cool about this…” you give him a smile, “It’s not like we haven’t—”
“Stop…” Jungkook lifts his hand up, “I get it.” He chuckles awkwardly.
Your small smile fades, your heart pinches. He never wants to talk about it, did he hate it that much?
“Right…” You begin walking closer towards him and he steps back, your heart pinching once again. “Well, lend me a fucking turtle neck or something so I can get outta here.”
Jungkook smirks down at you as he walks to his closet.
“Fine. Hopefully I have two…I have a black and a white one right?” he asks you from inside his closet.
“Shit, I think I have your white one at my place…”
“I don’t think Nick owns any…”
“Why do you need one? Just stay home today.”
“I’m supposed to meet Vanessa later…”
Your heart doesn’t just pinch this time, it sinks. Deep down into your lower belly until its falling to the ground.
“Oh.”
“I’ll find a scarf or some shit.”
“I’ll bring you your white one, don’t worry.”
“Really? Thanks y/n.” Jungkook walks out of his closet smiling at you, his black turtle neck draped over his arm. “Here.” He hands it over to you.
“Turn around.”
Jungkook raises a brow at you until realization hits him.
“Okay.” He whispers out.
You quickly change into the long sleeve shirt and let Jungkook know he can turn back around.
“I feel like I should make you breakfast or something…” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck, standing here awkwardly.
“Really Jungkook?” you laugh out, “And what would you make me?”
“I think Nick has some toaster waffles.” Jungkook offers with a grin.
“I’m good. I’m gonna head out but I will be back with your shirt!”
“Sounds good, I’ll walk you out.”
You two nod at one another, exiting the bedroom and walking towards the front door. You stop to say goodbye and Jungkook steps into your space, wrapping his arms around you.
“See you in a bit.” He whispers.
“Yeah.” You pull back and smile at him. “See you in a bit.”
~~~~~
“Why the fuck are you wearing a black turtle neck in the middle of August?”
It’s Trina, if you haven’t guessed. It’s the first thing you hear when you step into your apartment, she is over to hang with Holly you’re assuming.
“I was a bit chilly.” You lie through your teeth, giving her a strained smile.
“Take it off.” Trina commands.
“Trina…” Holly warns softly, she’s got her hand on Trina’s shoulder and you can’t help but giggle.
“Wait, your date was last night, right? With this ‘Min Yoongi’? Ooooh, did things go well?” Trina whistles out.
“It wasn’t a date, I already told you…” you whine as you walk into the living room, sitting on the sofa.
“But it did go well! I had a really nice time.” You admit softly, smiling at the memory of your ‘thank you outing’. “He’s so cool and so sweet.” Your eyes light up, “He owns the record shop a few shops away from the bakery!”
“Owns it? Like it’s his?” Holly asks, she shares a pleased smile with Trina.
“Yes, like it’s his.”
“He sounds like a man. Marry him.” Trina gives you an aggresive thumbs up.
“Chill dude.” You laugh. “I think he and I could become really good friends…and…”
“And?”
“Well, you never know.” Your eyes shift to the side as you smirk. “The world is full of mystery.”
Trina smiles brightly, “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”
“I’m saying that there’s not not a chance…”
“I’LL TAKE IT!” Trina lifts up Holly’s hand and high fives herself with it. “Whatever isn’t Jungkook.” She finishes with a grin and you feel your whole body go stiff.
“Trina…” you frown, “I really don’t like when you say stuff like that. Jungkook is a good person. He just…he messed up, yes. But he’s trying.”
“He hurt you.” Trina’s tone goes serious. “How could you forgive him for that?”
“I’m trying too. But I am able to try because I know him…he wouldn’t just hurt me without him having his own reasons…and I love him, T. Like as friends, of course but also…”
“I know.” Trina goes soft, “I know.”
Holly clasps her hands together, “And that’s that! How about we make some food and chit chat some more over some mimosas!”
“I love that idea.” You say.
“But seriously girl, please go change out of that turtle neck…you’re making me sweat just looking at you.” Trina says.
Right, the turtle neck. You told Jungkook you would drop off his white one…well, you gotta find it first.
“Okay, but I have to run an errand first then we can hang.”
“An errand?” Both girls look at you quizzically.
“Don’t worry about it.” Great, now you sound like Jungkook.
~~~~~
Within the hour you are quickly dropping off Jungkook’s shirt off at his place and going back to yours. He answered the door in nothing but his towel again and you tried so hard not to drool. You recall the night before when your fingers were dragging down his chest and his toned stomach. You felt every ab beneath your fingertips. Fuck, that felt good. You’re home now, you shake your head trying to rid yourself of thoughts of Jungkook’s body. But with a body like that? It’s so so hard. Just like how he was…STOP. You shake off these thoughts and try to pay attention to what Holly is saying.
“—And then I turned it in anyway and still got an A!”
“That’s amazing Holly.” You say, trying to act like you weren’t just having impure thoughts.
“Yeah, you totally kick ass.” Trina says.
You girls are a few mimosas in, you feel the champagne starting to work its wonderful magic on you but unfortunately it is making you start to sweat. You want to take off this damn turtleneck.
“I’ll be right back.” You say quickly before retreating to your bedroom. You find a baggy t-shirt and slip it on. This feels much better! But god damn. These marks on your skin are something else. You rush to the bathroom and try to cover some with makeup but it’s hardly helping. Fuck.
“Welp, maybe they won’t notice.” You whisper to yourself.
You walk back out into the living room and you notice both Holly and Trina’s eyes go comically wide.
“Wow, that date did go better than you thought!” Trina starts whooping and hollering.
“Wow y/n.” Holly really does look shocked.
Okay, so maybe they did notice. You feel so self conscious all of the sudden, your hands flying up to your neck to cover yourself.
“It’s—It’s not what it looks like.” You stammer out.
“It looks like this Yoongi guy is really into marking!” Trina yells out with a grin.
“Yoongi is really into marking…” Holly eyes you with horror in her eyes.
“Yoongi! Yoongi! Yoongi!” Trina begins chanting, she looks over at Holly and lightly taps her thigh to get her to start chanting the name as well.
“Guys…” You whine into your hands, “It wasn’t Yoongi.” You must be admitting that because you’ve had a few mimosas.
Silence. The room falls undeniably quiet.
“Wait what?” Trina asks, her wide grin beginning to fade.
“Did you meet with someone else last night?” Holly begins to pry.
“Did you go to a bar or something and meet a rando?”
“Did you bump into someone on the street?”
“Did you call up and old boyfriend? An old hookup?”
“Guys!” You yell out, “I met up with Jungkook last night!”
Once again, the room goes silent.
“You what?” Trina asks plainly, “What does that have to do with the hickeys on your neck?”
“Really Trina?” your head falls into your hands, “We kind of…”
“You guys fucked? Really?” Trina’s serious tone is back.
“No! We just got really drunk and made out! That’s it!”
“But is that really it for you?” To your surprise, it’s Holly who asks this.
“It’s fine. We were just drunk. We decided not to be weird about it. And we won’t.”
“How can you be sure of that?” Trina asks, her voice gone soft.
“Because I will text him in a few days, he’s going to text back. Or I’ll call and he will answer like normal. I’ll ask to hang out or something and we will just be two friends who hang. It will go just like that!”
Except it doesn’t go like that at all. A few days pass and you decided to text Jungkook in the morning after you woke up. You don’t expect to hear back from him for a couple of hours since he will probably sleep in. But hours and hours go by and it’s the afternoon now and you still haven’t heard from him.
“You have reached the voicemail box of…” You click the end button on your phone again for like, the 6thtime. Why isn’t Jungkook answering? It’s a Wednesday afternoon, you know you remember him saying he had today off for some reason so what is he up to? Even if he was with Vanessa, would he really ignore you like this? 6 calls in a row?
You decide to try Jimin, maybe they’re together. You look him up in your ‘Favorites’ and click clack away to calling him. After several rings the boy finally answers,
“Hey.” He says somewhat out of breath, “I’m working, what’s up?”
“Hey it’s nothing really…” you begin, “But have you heard from Jungkook…? I can’t get a hold of him…”
“Huh? No? Maybe he’s just, I don’t know, busy babe.” You can hear Jimin directing some poor child of his wrong moves on the other side of the phone.
“Look, I gotta go. But just try again in a little while, okay?”
“Can you try calling him for me?”
“Huh? Uh, sure. I’ll let you know later. Love you, bye.” Jimin hangs up and you’re left with your phone to your ear, talking to no one.
It’s Wednesday evening now, you and Holly are sharing a pie while watching some weird show on Netflix that Holly insists is good. You’re three episodes in and you’re starting to wonder when the ‘good’ part happens. It’s mostly just been weird but Holly seems invested in it. You’re trying to keep your mind busy, the thought of Jungkook making you feel antsy. You just wanted to call and see if he wanted to chill together…to prove things aren’t going to be weird between you two. Is he really going to be so fucking immature? Big deal, you made out. But to go this far to ignore you? You can’t help but feel so fucking anxious. He won’t ghost you again right?
You mindlessly stick your fork in the pie repeatedly when you feel your phone buzz. Thank God, some sort of reason to look away from this show, you think.
Jimin 6:22pm
Hey, I got a hold of Jungkook…
What the hell? So he answered to Jimin?!
Jimin 6:22pm
It’s probably best to let him be today babe, today is…not a good day
You click off your phone and throw it on the cushion to your side because what the hell does that mean? Not a good day? If he’s not having a good day then shouldn’t he like, lean on you? Wait, you’re asking for too much right? You mean, you’re the one who set boundaries. But if he’s having a bad day why ignore you? You throw the fork in the pie and set it next to Holly, she looks at you mortified that you would just throw your fucking fork. You stand to your feet and start heading to your room.
“Uh, where are you going? Things are just getting good.” Holly whines.
“I’ll be back in a little while Hol, just gotta do something real quick.” You call out from behind you, entering your room to change into some clean clothes.
Once you’re ready you grab your purse and your keys and head towards the front door, and out to your car.
It’s a really quick drive to Jungkook’s apartment, he lives so close to you it’s ridiculous. He couldn’t find an apartment that was further away from his old one? Well, still…you’re grateful it’s a short drive. You wonder how you’ll confront Jungkook. He isn’t the best at opening up so you have to go about this strategically. But knowing you, you’ll be anything but strategic. It’s just with Jungkook you really have to force it out of him—whatever it is. Even then you may get nothing.
You find a parking spot a little a ways from the building, it’s a nice refreshing two minute walk to get inside to find and ride the elevator. You remember riding this elevator with nick and oh god, cringe. You cringe so fucking hard. Speak of the devil, he’s who answers the front door after your insistent knocking.
“Oh hey y/n. What’s up?” Nick’s eyes dart from you to the rest of the hallway. “Is it just you?” he asks, “Jungkook isn’t here…”
“Can I wait inside until he gets home?” you blurt out.
“Uh, sure…” Nick opens the door wider for you to enter. You breeze past him, taking off your shoes at the entrance and make your way to the couch. Damn, you are a woman on a mission.
“Can I get you some water?” Nick offers as he closes the door.
“Sure.”
Nick comes into the living room with a glass full of water and you couldn’t be more grateful. You didn’t even realize how dry your mouth has gotten, the anticipation of Jungkook’s arrival making you nervous.
“Do you know where he went?” you take the glass from Nick and gulp down like half the glass. “He hasn’t answered me all day.”
“Wait, he doesn’t know you’re here?” Nick asks in panicked surprise. “Should you really be here? He might be with Vanessa or like, coming back with her…”
“It’s fine. I’m waiting, is that okay?” you nibble on your lips, waiting for his response.
“Yeah, I guess.” Nick shrugs, “I’ll be in my room if that’s okay? You can watch whatever on TV or like, whatever.” He smiles at you, gesturing towards the TV.
“I’ll be fine Nick.” You smile back.
More than an hour passes, a god damn miserable hour of you sitting on Jungkook and Nicks couch when you finally hear the front door being unlocked. Jungkook.
You straighten up when you hear the door beginning to open, the soft creak sounding a million times louder in your ears.
Jungkook walks through and you notice he is alone, and you sigh in relief. His shoulders are slumped and his head hangs low as he takes his shoes off and you immediately sink in your spot. What’s with him? So, you stand to your feet and clear your throat and he doesn’t even flinch. He just continues walking inside, finding his way into the kitchen. You watch as he opens up a cabinet and reaches for a glass, next he’s fishing the fridge for some fresh water and filling up his cup. He takes a few sips of his water before his dark eyes find you.
“What are you doing here?” his low voice sends a shiver down your spine.
“You went ghost on me today…I was worried.” You leave the living room to walk into the kitchen as well.
“I…” he begins as he sets the glass on the counter. “I didn’t ghost you.”
“How could I be so sure?” you step closer to him, “How come you answered Jimin but not me?”
Jungkook’s eyes widen at your words, like a deer caught in headlights. He blinks at you repeatedly until he tries forming words.
“It’s nothing personal.” He settles for. “Can we talk tomorrow, y/n?”
“Where did you go today?” God, why do you sound like some weird, possessive girlfriend? You cringe at your own words.
“It doesn’t matter.” Jungkook’s eyes darken again, his voice low.
“It matters to me.”
Jungkook looks down at the floor and you notice him take a few deep breaths, like he is struggling to find a steady one.
“Talk to me, Jungkook.” You reach out to him, your fingers finding his and he flinches at your touch. “What’s wrong? Please talk to me.”
“I….” Jungkook’s voice cracks and you wish you could bring him in to hug you but you don’t. You just let him continue.
“I…have nothing to say.”
Oh. Of course. Of fucking course. Of course Jungkook chooses to stay silent. Of course he chooses not to talk to you.
“Is it Vanessa?” you finally find the courage to ask, “Did you two break—”
“No, we’re fine.” He cuts in. Jungkook frees himself from your hand and looks up at you with a strained smile, “I’m fine, y/n.”
Now, you shouldn’t feel upset. Or angry. But you do, you fucking do. It’s been almost 4 years of this same bullshit where he cannot open up to you and its starting to feel insulting.
“You’re…” you step closer to him again but he takes a step back until he’s backed into the counter. “You aren’t fine. Please talk to me, Jungkook.” You try to say calmly but you think the rage is a little evident in your voice.
“Nothing to talk about.”
“Is it because I’m a girl?”
Jungkook tilts his head to the side, not knowing what you mean by that. Yeah, that was a stupid thing to assume but you aren’t smart right now.
“You can’t confide in girls because you have trust issues? You know, because of your mom…how she left you…”
“Stop.”
“That’s it right?” You volume increases as your anger shows, “Are you fucking serious? When have I ever made you feel like you couldn’t trust me? When have I ever fucking left you?”
“Shut up.”
“No! And yeah your mom left you so you like, don’t trust girls I guess but god damn, Jungkook maybe it’s time to get over—”
“I said shut up!” Jungkook’s voice rises to a volume you have never experienced with him before.
“Have you tried looking for her?” you continue to speak, not realizing you are making everything worse.
“I know where she is.” He states, his nostrils flaring.
You flail your arms around, “Then go fucking talk to her.”
Jungkook looks at you with an unreadable expression, his shoulders to his ears and his fists balled up at his sides. He’s quiet. Too quiet. His breaths are beyond shaky and you finally notice it.
Jungkook’s eyes are glossed over and you think you may have gone too far. His lip begins trembling and he tries to speak but no words come out. He struggles to speak to you and it makes you blink at him like an idiot. Why can’t he speak?
“Jung—”
Jungkook lifts a hand up to stop you from talking any further. He inhales sharp breaths and releases shaky ones. His eyes are full of tears but none fall. He stares down at the ground just trying to do something as easy as breathing, but he falls short.
“Jung—”
“Please.” He croaks out. Jungkook walks to the couch and sits down, his head falling into his hands and you aren’t entirely sure at first but after a few moments you really realize…he is softly and quietly crying. Your Jungkook who never cries in front of anyone is sitting on his living room couch crying. You’re speechless. You also don’t know what to do. Do you try to comfort him? Do you leave him alone? But how could you leave him alone when he sits on his fucking living room couch sniffling away?
You hesitantly walk towards the sofa and take a seat next to him. He doesn’t lift his head to look at you, just continues crying into his hands. You don’t have to think about it, you reach your hand to rub soothing circles on his back and start whispering words of comfort in his ear.
Several moments pass when Jungkook finally lifts his head from his hands, but he still doesn’t look at you.
“Mom…” he clears his throat. “Mom didn’t just leave us. She left everything. She left me.”
“I know Jungkook…I’m sorry… I just lashed out on you, you can heal at your own pace and if she wants to see you again, she will.” You continue to rub his back.
“No, you don’t get it.” Jungkook murmurs. “Mom was hurting a lot. You know?” he begins to get choked up, his throat burning.
“Dad cheated, yes. But he was also neglectful of her and she was in a lot of pain,” he sniffs repeatedly, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
“She felt like she had no one, not even me.” Jungkook face scrunches up as he resists more tears.
“She couldn’t even rely on me.”
Fuck. You know where this is going. It is all starting to make sense.
“Mom killed herself when I was 16.” Jungkook finally says, his voice barely above a whisper, like he was too afraid to say it out loud. Like it made it more real.
“Dad didn’t take it well…he started drinking and I rarely saw him around…I had to take care of myself.” Jungkook finally lets the tears fall.
“I hated him. I still do.” Jungkook clenches his jaw.
You sit on the couch unable to comprehend what Jungkook has gone through. You feel like the biggest bitch alive. You forced your best friend to reopen his wounds in front of you and you had the audacity to pour salt in them.
“Jungkook I’m so—”
“Forget it.” He’s quick to cut you off. You stare at him with wide eyes, your own tears staining your cheeks.
“Please leave me alone for a while.” He whispers and immediately you stop him from rising from the couch.
“No!” you pull him back down. He doesn’t even resist, he falls back to your side and you lead his head to rest on your beating chest.
“I’m here for you, Jungkook.”
And that’s it. That’s what it took for Jungkook to scrunch and twist his face until more tears begin flowing out of his swollen eyes. He cries into your shirt, wetting the material.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You pat his head, your fingers weaving through his dark locks.
Jungkook cries like this for several minutes, until he’s wiping away his tears and snot with his shirt sleeve. He rises from your chest and looks at you with a painful expression.
“Today is mom’s birthday.” He admits.
Fuck.
“I went to her grave today…” he sniffles, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before. It’s just…” he starts crying again, “Saying it out loud. Makes it real, don’t you think?” His face is swollen and puffy from his tears and you can’t stop your own tears from sliding down your cheeks.
“Jungkook, I’m so, so sorry.” You feel awful. You can’t even fathom what he has gone through…
“It’s okay, this was bound to happen eventually right?” he laughs awkwardly, snot still dripping from his nose.
“I shouldn’t have forced it out of you…God, I am so sorry.”
“I…” Jungkook’s eyes refill with tears as he tries to speak again, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I really am. I tried so many times but I just couldn’t say it out loud. I just couldn’t.” The tears fall down his face once again, “I tried.” He begins to cry harder. “I really tried y/n.”
You heart breaks. This is a sight you never want to see again but if anyone has to see it you want it to be you.
“Baby…” you whisper. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
“You’d never leave me…right?” Jungkook chokes on his words as he speaks. “I couldn’t handle it.”
You shut your eyes as you think about what Jungkook has gone through. You think about why he’s been so closed off and why he has troubles with people sometimes—especially girls.
“I wouldn’t ever leave you.” You say in promise. “You’re too important to me.”
Jungkook’s face falls back into your chest, he cries into your shirt for several more minutes as you rub his back and play with his hair.
“Wasn’t I important to mom too?” You hear him whisper.
Your heart breaks even more.
“Of course you were, Jungkook.” You try to save, “I know she must have loved you a lot.”
“Then why?”
“She must of thought you were going to be strong enough without her…” Your fingers thread through his hair again, “And you are. But you know, you aren’t completely without her…” Your hand goes to his chest, over his beating heart.
“She’s here too, with you.”
And with that, Jungkook sobs harder. Like, it’s the first time he’s cried over this. And you wonder if it is. He’s gripping on to your shirt so tightly as he releases intense sob after the other. Your heart continues to fucking break.
“I’m here. I’m here.”
It’s been quiet the last 30 minutes, neither you nor Jungkook have spoken. He’s not even crying anymore, just lightly sniffling every now and then. You wonder if he has fallen asleep. You wouldn’t be surprised, all that crying will take out all the energy out of a person…
You lean your head down to get a look at Jungkook’s peaceful face…he is sleeping. You feel yourself relax as you continue to play with his hair. He needs the rest, you think.
You feel your own eye lids getting heavy and you let yourself fall asleep as well. Jungkook snuggles deeper into your side, his face nuzzling in your chest and you hold him tighter. You two sleep like this for many hours until you’re being woken up at the sound of the blender going.
The living room is lit up with sunlight and your eyes blink lazily. You realize Jungkook isn’t sleeping with you anymore and you start to panic. Where did he go? Then the blender goes off again and you decide to stand from the couch, even though your body feels so heavy.
Jungkook is in the kitchen when you walk over, he’s got his back turned to you and you creep up behind him.
“Boo.” You say, wrapping your arms around him.
“When will you realize that will never work on me?” Jungkook lightly chuckles, “Sorry to wake you up. I figure I could make us some fruit smoothies.” He turns around in your hold. You eye him up and notice how puffy his eyes are and you feel your heart drop.
“Fruit smoothie sounds delicious.” You squeeze him tighter and Jungkook laughs a wonderful laugh. It’s loud and full and filled with joy.
“Hug me back.”
Jungkook smiles down at you and circles his arms around your waist, “Sorry, sorry.”
You smile back up at him and lean your head on his body, he feels so warm it could melt you.
“About last night…” Jungkook begins pulling away from you, “I’m sorry I kind of…”
“You don’t have to apologize.” You cut in. “It’s my fault.”
“No y/n…I’m glad things happened the way they did. I actually feel so much better.” He admits, “Lighter, even.”
“Oh? Well, good. But I am still so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay baby.” He goes back in to hug you tighter. You feel his strong arms hold on to you and you want to stay like this forever. You would if you could. But—
“Shit. What time is it?” You step back from him, digging in your pocket for your phone. “Holy hell, I’m going to be late for work.”
“Then get going. I’ll text you later?” Jungkook asks with hope filling his eyes.
“Yeah.” You smile.
~~~~~~
Work was lame as usual, nothing eventful happened. Yoongi must have been too busy at the shop today since he didn’t come in for cookies. You decide you will go see him at the record shop tomorrow but for now…you’re dealing with something else—someone else.
“Oh? You thought Trina wouldn’t tell me?” It’s Jimin. He’s sitting on the edge of your bed with a popsicle between his lips. “Huh Miss Hickeys?”
“Jimin.” You drag his name out, “It’s not a big deal!” you throw your hands up in exasperation. “We were just really drunk and it didn’t mean anything. Just two drunk idiots.”
“Idiots, for sure.” Jimin sucks on the tip of the popsicle while he speaks.
“Seriously, it isn’t a big deal. We’re both over it.”
“Are you? You like him and he…fuck, this is getting so ridiculous. Promise me, just promise me…you will tell him the truth? You might be sur—”
“Jimin, stop.”
Jimin huffs out a deep, long breath and rolls his eyes at you.
“No.” he says matter of fact. “I won’t stop until you two talk.”
“Anyway there’s something more important we need to talk about…” you begin, “He told me about his mom.”
Jimin’s expression goes from shocked to guilty. He takes a few moments to finish the popsicle, biting the last inch or two and throwing the stick in the trashcan.
“I know. He told me.”
“Oh.”
“He’s been wanting to tell you for a long time y/n…but he just—”
“I know. It must have been really hard for him…all this time…”
“Yeah.” Jimin bows his head, ��Me and Tae are the only ones who know because we were friends with him when it happened. That’s the only reason why or else I’m not sure anyone would know.”
“Is that…is that Jungkook’s secret? That you three…”
Jimin’s eyes expand as he realizes what you are talking about.
“N-No.” He admits softly, “That’s something else. That’s something Jungkook will definitely have to tell you on his own and trust me if you guys just talked…”
You tilt your head in confusion. What’s the correlation?
“Anyway, Jimin has Jungkook ever cried to you? About it all?” you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.
“He didn’t even cry at the funeral y/n.”
Fuck. You had a feeling. But knowing for sure is a whole other thing. The way Jungkook broke down in front of you felt like it was his first time and maybe it was and that makes your heart ache.
“Did he…cry? In front of you?” Jimin asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah…”
“Oh… he must really trust you.”
You only nod your head in response.
“If you guys just learned to communicate better…I’m really rooting for you two.”
Your heart swells at Jimin’s little confession and you nod your head again, this time with tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.
“Thanks Jimin.” Finally, you feel supported. And it makes you breathe just a little easier.
“I know things haven’t always been easy with you two ever since the Tae thing…but honestly this goes back even further. Doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. We…I don’t know what’s with us.” You chuckle bitterly.
“I do. And I am going to force you two to talk one of these days. I swear on it. I will give you guys some time but damn babe, this is just…” Jimin releases a long breath. “Just don’t give up, okay?”
“Can’t you just tell me?” you don’t mean to sound like you are begging but you kind of do.
“No. It’s truly truly not my place.”
“I can’t just assume what you are talking about, you know? I can’t hope for the best then get crushed. That’s too scary, Jimin.”
“I understand babe.” Jimin scoots closer to you until he’s within arms-reach and caresses your calve. “Just talk to him, please.”
“Too scary.”
“One of these days one of you will have the courage.”
~~~~~~
“And what could be in this little baggy of yours?” Yoongi grins, showing his wonderful gummy smile.
“I brought you 2 cookies Mister Oatmeal Raisin!” You shake the little bag in front of his face in a teasing manner and he chuckles.
“What did I do to deserve your kindness?” He takes the baggy from you and inspects both cookies. “You decided not to be bratty today?” he questions with a smile. “These cookies are perfect.”
You decided to visit the record shop today, on this fine afternoon. It’s one of those days where it’s cloudy and looks like it could rain but it never does. You love days like that.
“This place looks so nice!” you say, bobbing your head around to get a proper look.
“There’s a section where you can sit and drink coffee…it’s not much but its cozy. Wanna check it out?” Yoongi offers, gesturing towards the other side of the shop.
“Yeah.” You say, “Lead the way.”
He guides you to the other side of the shop next to a window. There’s a table for two and he’s right—it is cozy looking.
You sit down and wait for Yoongi as he fetches two coffees, which you are so excited about since you have a fucking addiction.
He sets a cup down in front of you and takes his seat.
“So any new happy moments in life? Anything new to be grateful for?”
“I—”
“That’s a trick question,” Yoongi’s eyes go small as he smiles widely, “There’s always new moments to be grateful for.”
You can’t help but laugh, you bring the steaming hot coffee to your mouth and you blow on the liquid multiple times before bringing it to your lips and taking a sip.
“Yes I guess so.” You smile.
“And what are they?”
“I’m grateful the sun is hiding today, I like the clouds a lot.”
“I love that.” Yoongi takes a sip of his own coffee. “What else?”
“I’m happy you brought me coffee.”
“I’m glad I somehow made it on your list of things.”
“What about you?” you ask.
“I’m grateful my A.C is working again!” he laughs, “It was actually broken for a couple days and I had like 5 fans plugged in around the place. I don’t think anyone wanted to come in here.”
“Oh no! Well, I’m glad it’s working!”
“How are things with your friend Jungkook? You guys were complicated last time I checked.”
You raise your brows in surprise that Yoongi would bring up Jungkook. But somehow you also aren’t surprised, it seems Yoongi takes a genuine interest in your life.
“We’re actually doing okay…” You bring the coffee back to your lips, taking another sip when—
“Have you told him your feelings yet?” Yoongi casually takes a gulp of coffee as you choke on yours.
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry…was that too forward?” Yoongi sets his cup down. “To be fair, you both are very obvious.
“What do you means us ‘both’?” You grab a napkin and wipe your chin where coffee dribbled.
“He clearly likes you too.” Yoongi stares at you as you stare back with a blank expression, and he laughs. “You two remind me of myself and someone I used to know.”
“Used to?”
“We were never on the same page…too many missed opportunities that it ruined anything we could have had.” Yoongi frowns for a split second before breaking out into a soft, gummy smile. “I’d hate to see that happen to you.”
“Yoongi—”
“But if it does then better for me?” he whispers with a smile in his voice.
“What do you mean by—”
“Oh. But he has a girlfriend, right?” Yoongi cuts you off with his question.
“Not exactly but basically…”
Vanessa. Your stomach drops at the mention of her and you hate it. Why does she have to have such a strong affect on you? Why does she even have to exist? You mean, she can exist but maybe not in your life—or Jungkook’s life.
Suddenly, the doors bell goes off with a ding and Yoongi is smiling brightly at whoever just walked in. You continue to sip your coffee not giving it much mind.
“Taehyung!” Yoongi shouts out, standing from his chair to wave over his friend.
Wait, Taehyung? He can’t mean the same Taehyung—
“y/n?”
Oh shit. You turn around in your seat and your face falls when you see him. Even on this cloudy day his skin is so golden like the sun is shining down on him, he looks bright and beautiful. As usual.
“Hi Taehyung.” You wave awkwardly. He can immediately tell how uncomfortable you are, his face deepening into a frown.
“I can come by later…” he offers to you.
“No, no. Don’t be ridiculous.” You try smiling but it’s quite tense.
Yoongi looks between you two and he points between your bodies.
“You two know each other?”
“We went to school together, had mutual friends blah blah blah.” You say.
Taehyung only agrees with the nod of his head. Yoongi blinks at your two and opens his mouth to say ‘Ah.’ And heads to the back for another cup of coffee.
“How have you been y/n?” Taehyung asks awkwardly, he shifts from one foot to the other as he stands here.
“Pretty good, I think.”
“You think?” he chuckles. “Hey, sorry if my texts bother you…”
“They don’t.” you say honestly. “Sorry I don’t always reply.”
“It’s okay, I understand. How’s…Jungkook?” Taehyung eyes shoot down to the floor. “He doesn’t answer my texts either. It really hurts to see years of friendship go down the drain…”
“He’s mad at you Tae,” You begin, “But I think one of these days he will chill out.” You laugh and this makes Taehyung ease up.
“He really fucking loves you.”
“Well we are best friends… sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“We kind of stopped talking for a little while but we’re back to being friends.” You try explaining but Yoongi is walking back in with a cup of coffee in hand. He hands it to Taehyung, which he accepts gratefully.
“You’re here for that new Jazz mix record, right? I have it behind the counter for you.” Yoongi says to Taehyung and Taehyung only gives him a thumbs up. He eyes you curiously, wondering what the hell happened between you and Jungkook.
“I have to get back to work boys!” You stand from the table, “Thanks for the coffee Yoongs”
Yoongi smiles at the new nickname.
“And maybe I’ll see you around, Tae?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung gives you his signature boxy grins and you feel like maybe things all around are getting better. Just maybe.
~~~~~
Jungkook has his hands knotted in Vanessa’s hair as she chokes on his cock, her lips wrapped around it fully.
“Fuck.” Jungkook whines out, “I’m so close.”
Vanessa only moans in response, she continues to bob her head up and down on his dick making his orgasm approach quickly.
“Gonna come, gonna come.”
And he does, he comes down her throat and she swallows it all perfectly. Only a drop or two left behind on her lips which she quickly wipes away with her fingers.
Vanessa stands to her feet and Jungkook pulls her in for a quick kiss.
“That was good…” he says, somewhat out of breath.
“Glad.” She says smoothly, going in for another kiss. This time she lingers, her lips lasting for a moment longer on his.
Vanessa’s fingers brush against his neck, she traces the outline of one last bruise left on the side below his ear.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” she smiles coyly. “You two sure are weird.” She says flatly.
“Vanessa…”
“It’s fine. I know you know I still see him. It’s not like we agreed to be exclusive.” She taps her skinny fingers on his chest.
“But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?”
“You aren’t trying very hard, are you?” the amusement in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook.
“He cheated on you, Vanessa. Why are you still seeing him? I thought you said he has a girlfriend now?”
Vanessa pauses her tapping on his chest, her eyes go wide for a second. Like, for a second she wasn’t void of emotion.
“He does.” She says smoothly before she begins tapping her fingers against his chest again.
“He cheated on me with this girl.” She admits, “Little does this bitch know—”
“Is that healthy? Getting revenge?” Jungkook asks, concern lacing his voice.
Vanessa continues to tap her fingers as she narrows her eyes at Jungkook.
“You want to talk to me about what’s healthy?” her empty laugh fills the room.
“I want you to stop.” Jungkook’s hands go to her hips, “Let’s be exclusive, Vanessa.”
“I can’t stop…” she whispers softly, “I can’t let go.”
Jungkook observes Vanessa for a few moments, she looks as vulnerable as she did the first time she talked about her ex with him. He feels sorry for her. He really does want her to move on, for her own sake.
“You can move forward, Vanessa. You have me.”
Vanessa looks into his eyes, studying his serious expression. She can tell he means well but…she doesn’t have him. She never will.
“Please Vanessa, we can make this work.” He begs, yes begs.
Vanessa tilts her head to the side. Oh? This must be his desperation talking, she thinks. His desperation to get over you. She knows this. And she doesn’t hold it against him and instead she decides to help him.
“Okay, let’s make this work.”
~~~~~~~
y/n 8:09pm
On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you wanna watch spirited away right now?
Jungkook 8:15pm
11 girl don’t play
y/n 8:16pm
I thought so, I think this means you need to come over and watch it w meeee
Jungkook 8:20pm
Lemme shower and I’ll be over:)
y/n 8:22pm
Bring beer pllllssss
Jungkook 8:42pm
On my way
y/n 8:45pm
Drive safe bb
It’s around 9pm exactly when you hear soft knocking on the front door. You scurry towards the door and open it, finding Jungkook on the other side. He is wearing your favorite gray puma sweat suit and his hair is wavy and damp. He smiles at you when he sees you eyeing him up and down.
“Like what you see?” he teases.
“Wow, what a classic line Jungkook. Real original.” You scoff, letting the boy through.
Jungkook walks in, setting down a case of beer on the breakfast table.
“I brought our favorite.” He gestures towards the beer on the table. “Let’s drink it while it’s nice and chilly.”
“Agreed. I already have the movie set up.” You point towards the T.V “Ready for our viewing pleasure.”
“Where’s Holly?” Jungkook takes two beers from the case, handing one over to you.
“Her and Trina went out to some bar, I didn’t feel like going.” You take the beer and twist off the cap, Jungkook does the same. You two clank the bottles together in cheers and take a few sips.
“Ah.” You say, the refreshing beer making you feel well, refreshed.
“Because you don’t feel like going to a bar? Or because you would rather hang out with me?” Jungkook smirks, taking another sip of his beer.
“Because I didn’t feel like getting pretty.” You bring the beer to your lips, but you don’t drink from the bottle, just waiting for a response instead.
“You’re always pretty.”
You take a sip of the beer, feeling satisfied with his response. “I know.” You half joke.
“Let’s go to a bar.” Jungkook blurts out.
“W-What?”
“Let’s go in our lounge clothes.” He smiles, “Let’s just do it.”
“No!” you laugh out, “We look like slobs. Well, I do. You look…” your hand motions towards his body, “You know, you look…”
“Are you trying to say I’m hot, y/n?” Jungkook’s sly smile grows as he drinks his beer.
“You know what I mean.” You huff out.
“Well, I think the same of you. So let’s go.”
You can’t help but laugh, you continue to drink your beer back, the liquid settling nicely.
“Okay. Fuck it, let’s do it.” You can’t help but grin, the idea of going to a bar in yoga pants and a t shirt with your sort of best friend sounds so great to you.
“But maybe a little makeup…” Jungkook starts chuckling as you hit his arm with your fist.
“Shut up.”
The bar is mostly pretty casual, maybe not as casual as you and Jungkook but still casual.
Only a small handful of people are actually dressed nicely, but mostly are in jeans and nice shirts. Somehow Jungkook is still the hottest guy here. Even in his sweat suit. You’re surprised you two even got let in, does this place not have some sort of dress code? Guess not.
It’s pretty loud inside, the place has a live band and a decent dance floor. You and Jungkook head towards the bar and take your seats.
The bartender takes a few minutes to reach you two and when she does she automatically nods at Jungkook for his order.
“Two long islands please.” He says, he smirks towards you and you smile back. Long islands? Oh you’re getting drunk drunk tonight.
“You got it.” She smiles at him with all her teeth, and turns around to start mixing the drinks.
“Long islands, huh?” you rest your head in your hand on the bar top.
“I figure neither of us are driving tonight, we might as well go hard.” Jungkook smiles at you. “I’ll buy this first round?”
“Sounds good to me.” You bump fists with Jungkook with a wide smile. “Wanna make a bet?”
“What’s that?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you.
“I bet you $5 that by the end of the night the bartender will hit on you.”
“But I also bet $5 that the bartender will hit on me.” Jungkook pouts.
You stare at him in disbelief at his cockiness and you burst out into giggles.
“Fair enough.” You say between laughs.
The bartender slides two drinks to you and Jungkook, she twists and twirls her hair in her fingers as she asks Jungkook how it tastes. He takes a sip and gives her a thumbs up, you can’t help but snicker.
“Can we also get two tequila shots?” you wave at the bartender. She turns to face you and frowns.
“Sure.” She puts on a fake smile and turns to fill up two shot glasses with tequila. She sets them in front of you a Jungkook and tells you the amount due.
“Tequila shots? Are we trying to fucking die tonight?” Jungkook chuckles from beside you. He grabs two limes and hands you one.
“To us.” You say, lifting your shot in the air.
“To you.” Jungkook whispers as you clank glasses and throw back the shots.
Holy shit, you are fucking wasted. After several tequila shots and a few long islands you and Jungkook are barely holding on. Okay, fine. It’s not that bad. But you guys are really drunk!
His hand hasn’t left your waist for hours, and it feels so fucking nice. It feels perfect. It feels right.
“y/n?” a voice calls out to you. You know this voice, really well in fact.
“Taehyung!” you cheer. You stumble forward and go in for a high five and his drunk ass high fives you back.
“Fancy seeing you again.” You giggle.
Jungkook’s hand grips your waist tighter as he narrows his eyes at Taehyung.
“What do you mean again?” Jungkook asks, his voice low.
“We ran into each other at my friend Yoongi’s” you slur out.
“Hi Jungkookie.” Taehyung awkwardly sways back and forth, his words also slurred. It’s obvious he’s on the same level as drunk as you.
“…Hey.” Jungkook hesitates to respond, he looks between you two. “y/n…is this okay? Talking to him?”
“Hm? Oh? Yeah.” You stare at Jungkook blankly. Why wouldn’t it be, you think.
“Jungkook, maybe we could talk just the two of us?”
You look between the boys and somehow you feel yourself sobering up just a bit.
“Uh. I’ll go to the bathroom.” You say, already walking away.
“You know how sorry I feel.” Taehyung begins, “About everything.”
“What’s everything?” Jungkook mumbles under his breath.
“I’m sorry for what I did to y/n. But I am also sorry for holding your secret over you like that to keep mine.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook slurs out, “That was fucked up.”
“I miss you guys…” Taehyung takes a sip of his drink, “Even Jimin barely talks to me.”
“Shouldn’t have messed with our girl.”
“You mean, your girl.” Taehyung drunkenly corrects Jungkook.
“Whatever.”
“Seriously man, when are you just going to grow the fucking balls?” Taehyung raises his voice just a bit, “It’s clear how you both feel—”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about man, plus I have a girlfriend now—”
“You guys are official now?” You walk up to the boys, cutting in. You feel like maybe he’s just saying that.
“y/n…yeah, we just made it official.” Jungkook admits, running a hand through his hair, sighing out in frustration.
Oh. You feel your heart begin to crumble. They’re dating for real now?
“Do you have feelings for her?” You blurt out.
Jungkook shifts from one foot to another, he breathes in and out in and out. He bites on his bottom lip, thinking of how to respond.
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
Well, at least he’s honest.
“Well, I’m going to head back to my friends…” Taehyung butts in awkwardly. “It was nice seeing you two.” And with that he’s slipping away in the crowd.
“Wanna dance?” you say, trying your best to change the subject. You decide you don’t want to know his answer.
“Sure.” Jungkook smiles at you, he reaches for your hand and you squeeze his tightly. You guide him to the dance floor, the song is a slow one. You two look at one another but there’s nothing awkward about this. He guides your arms to wrap around his neck and his hands circle around your waist, he pulls you in close as you two sway to the music.
“Never go 3 months without me again.” You whisper into his neck.
“W-Why are you bringing that up now?”
“I have to keep my eyes on you, Jungkook. Without my supervision you go off and get yourself a girlfriend.” Your drunken words pierce his heart.
“Is that a problem?” He whispers back. “Yes, a big problem.” You lean back to get a look at his face, he’s already staring down at you, he somehow brings you in even closer.
“Whys that?” He breathes out.
“Want you all for myself.” You admit, drunk words are sober thoughts right?
“You want me baby?” Jungkook leans down until he’s so close, like he cannot control it.
“Yes.” You blink up at him, your lips parted.
The song changes but you two continue to dance like it’s a slow song.
“I bet you $5 that some guy will hit on you in the next couple of minutes.”
You tilt your head and drunkenly giggle, “I highly doubt that.”
Jungkook reaches in his back pocket and hands you a five dollar bill.
“What’s this f—”
“You’re so fucking beautiful” and then his lips are just a mere inch away from yours before he’s pulling back with a look of horror and guilt plastered on his face.
“I—I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’m with Vanessa now. I’m just drunk. I’m really drunk. You’re really drunk. We don’t know what we’re doing.” He drunkenly rambles.
You feel your heart sink down into your lower belly, you feel it crack and break into a million pieces. That’s right. Vanessa. He’s making it work with that girl.
“Yeah, it’s okay.”
“You’re my best friend y/n.” Jungkook slurs out, “I’m trying so hard not to ruin that.”
You only nod your head.
“Let’s go home.” You say.
~~~~~~
Your bed is comfy as ever, especially this drunk. Jungkook takes his shirt off and slips into the sheets, settling next to you.
“Wanna cuddle?” he offers.
“I don’t know if Vanessa would like that.” You slur.
“Right.” Jungkook lays on his back, his arms folding beneath his head. “Should I sleep in the living room?”
“No. I want you here.” You admit between soft breaths. “I always want you here.” You yawn out.
“Good.” Jungkook reaches out to hold you, “I don’t think Vanessa will mind if I cuddle my best friend for just five minutes.”
“Five minutes only” you tease. You shuffle closer to him, his warmth escaping his body and clinging to yours.
You two fall asleep like this. Morning comes slowly, like the world is giving you a chance to really appreciate one another’s company. Like the world knows that moments like this are so hard to come by. Like the world knows that you two need this.
When you wake up the next day, its half past noon. You’re still in Jungkook’s arms while he is dead asleep. You nuzzle into his chest and thank the world for giving you this moment. This moment to embrace him like he is yours, a moment to kiss his cheek like he is yours, a moment to whisper you love him like he is yours.
But he isn’t. He isn’t yours and that’s the reality. But you thank the world nonetheless. Because you need these moments to stay sane. But how do you two always end up like this? Can you keep blaming the alcohol? He tried to kiss you last night and that’s also the reality.
Jungkook wanted to kiss you. Can he keep saying it’s just because he’s drunk?
But he’s with Vanessa now and you have to respect that. And you will respect that.
You thank the world though, that right now he’s in your arms, breathing your air, and sharing this moment. Just you and him.
Finally, after another half hour Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep.
You stare at him as he wakes up and his sleepy eyes find yours.
“G’morning.” His voice is low and raspy and you want to swoon.
“Hi.”
“We…” he looks between your bodies. “Didn’t do anything, right?”
You feel your chest tighten, “No, Jungkook.” You answer calmly.
“Okay…” Jungkook frowns, “We can’t keep doing this, can we?”
Somehow you know exactly what he’s talking about, you can’t keep building this tension between you two. It goes nowhere.
“No” You admit softly, “We can’t.”
You think about Jimin’s words…could Jungkook…? But you don’t want to jump to happy conclusions, put yourself out there and then be wrong. But he tried to fucking kiss you. The girls were right, is this really all for you? You can’t keep doing this. It’s not good for you. “We really can’t.” you say again.
Jungkook smiles, but its soft and sad and makes you want to kiss his pouting lips until he shows you a real smile but you can’t.
“I’m sorry about last night.” Jungkook moves to his back, he stares up at the ceiling.
“I was just really drunk.” He continues, “Drunk me is wild.” He chuckles awkwardly.
“Is that really an excuse anymore?” you feel brave enough to say.
“y/n…”
“Forget it. We’re okay.”
“Are we?” Jungkook moves back to his side, facing you. He gives you a troubled look and you melt. Why are you always melting because of this man?
“Yeah. What’s more important is that your birthday is next week…”
“Oh yeah.”
“Can I be in charge of your party?”
“I don’t want a party, just a couple of friends.”
“Let me host it!”
“Okay, fine.” Jungkook smiles, “I can’t wait.”
“Do I have to invite Vanessa?”
“y/n.” Jungkook groans.
“Kidding!” you sing. Although, you aren’t entirely sure that you’re just kidding.
“It would be nice if you could plan this with Vanessa actually…she mentioned wanting to do something nice for my birthday too.” He sort of whispers out, like he didn’t want you to actually hear.
“Oh.” You aren’t sure what to say. You obviously don’t want co-host a get together with Vanessa but she is his girlfriend after all.
“Fine.”
You and Vanessa? Let’s see how this goes.
715 notes · View notes
jiminrings · 4 years ago
Note
petition for stem koo to do all the things for oc he originally said no one does (make her lunchboxes, makes her cheerful...) bc i think that’s a beautiful redemption arc
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cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D
jungkook's day one of his redemption agenda doesn't go that well in the end
"namjoon!!! my man. got any updates for me?"
seokjin strolls coolly on the way to his office, hair slicked back and his dress shirt definitely missing more than a few buttons
what's head admin gonna do??? dress-code him???
fire him???? PLS HE'D BE BETTER OFF!!!!
jin makes student affairs his bitch,,, not the other way around
"for the last time, i am nOt your secretary!!" namjoon stresses as he ceases his typing just to glare at him
he's the university registrar and everyone needs to go through him and at this point he's like a historical landmark from how he's made impact in less than two years
and he and seokjin graduated from the same batch!!!! they're the uncanny always pair for the subjects they shared together
it was definitely weird but functional lol cause one is uptight yet hardworking and the other's relaxed yet smart
sue them for working in the same place they swore they'd never go back to after graduation </3
"if you say-"
"some kid's been waiting for you even before i opened the office. made him sit inside but i just told him that he'd be expelled if he even tries to touch your coffee machine."
namjoon says even before jin could finish the sentence, clearly holding that in until the last minute
jin's obviously a lil annoyed because he's starting work as early as now but the way that joon laid all that out on him is a highlight for him
"thanks. knew you're a secretary for me first and a registrar second."
"no. i'm a national citizen before-"
alright alright he's not listening anymore
this bETTER be important because jin has to hold out his morning routine for whoever this kid is
"what can i possibly do for you today?" he rubs his eyes in preparation, intentionally dragging his steps because just looking at how near he is to his work computer gives him vertigo
"mr. kim!!!"
no
there is no way
there is no fATHOMABLE way that this has got to be happening to seokjin right now
"..... jungkook. what a pleasure."
he sits on his chair, voice gritted and monotone and he could just feel his eye twitching, his clenched fist under his deck now flipping off the kid in secret
it's a last-minute realization that he grasps that jungkook doesn't know you're his friend and it presents some really unique vantage points
like the time that seokjin recounted about a ridiculous student's filing for theft of his lunchboxes and he turned out to be your crush
or when he used his student affairs capabilities and pulled up resources left and right when jungkook broke your heart then seriously contemplated about messing up his academic record
or that time when he delivered a high and sleepy you to bed and then heard the entire conversation (if you could even call it that) between yoongi and this fucking nerd
"i need your help, mr. kim. you're the closest one to me i could ask!!" jungkook pleads desperately, the big doe eyes not really inducing an effect on him whatsoever lmao
"mhmm. i may not be the person for the job. counseling is right next door."
jin hums without even attempting to get jungkook to elaborate because for all he knows, his services aren't exactly open for people who hurt his friends >:(
(a guy once bumped shoulders with yoongi twice on the same day with aTTITUDE!!! and seokjin just dismissed the dude's concerns when a prof of his, who's a buddy of jin's, suddenly gave him an F)
seokjin IS student affairs
“no, no. you’re the only one who can help me!! you see, i-i just feel this brotherly connection with you and-“
“we talked once.”
god what did you used to see in this kid??
a crybaby aND an easily-attached personality to him? god it’s like jungkook’s just asking jin to pick on him
jungkook doesn’t seem to pick up how jin’s making it obvious he really doesn’t want to be of help if it has something to do with him
he likes interrupting and jin’s just the perfect match to interrupt him even earlier so now they just sound like one of those dubsmash snippets
“MR. KIM!!! how do you make lunchboxes? i don't know how.”
jeez where are his manners :O aren’t nerds like him supposed to worship the ground that admins walk on,,,
but what did pique his attention is the content of what jungkook just said
.... lunchboxes?
jin doesn’t want to give the kid benefit of the doubt because the last time he did that, you got hurt!!!!
if he has to hear hyeji’s name one more time, he’d really waste no time in stripping jungkook’s name from the honor roll
“remember that time i thought someone was stealing my lunchboxes?” he quizzes jin like it’s his job, clueless how he’s poking the bear even more with where he decides to go with this, “yeah. turns out no one was.”
was that not made clear the first time around!!!!!! he knows for a fact that a uni student would trade a classmate for a pack of gum but nO ONE would go for stealing a lunchbox
no one wakes up one day and decides that they’d steal a lunchbox. literally none
“but then this random girl claimed that it was hers a-and well i-...”
kook pauses to gauge jin’s reaction, clearly seeing now the one brow that’s raised at him
oh so if jungkook just asked him how to make a lunchbox, and he called h-word random,,,, then that would mean-
“i may have hurt the original giver of my lunchboxes at the process.”
.... that means he’s asking how to make a lunchbox for you
well that was a pleasant surprise
seokjin snorts briefly at that, dryly chuckling with his eyes widening to stress out his “non-threat” that’s pretty mUCH a threat
“wow. i might just give you a sanction for that.”
does he think jungkook’s a good person? lol he has to think about that for a month
was he wrong for hurting you that way? ultimately yes
but did he think at some point that jungkook’s completely heartless and wouldn’t try to redeem himself to his senior? no, not completely
but is he still on your team, regardless if the kid begs for mercy and you forgive him? yea a hundred percent :D yoongi and seokjin could never be brought out from your circle
"and you're doing this why?"
this is a no-brainer question for jungkook but the question still spooks him, feeling the chills at his neck that responding to seokjin is like a sTEPPING STONE when it comes to you
lmao if only he knew
"i uh, i just really wanna make this right. i messed up completely and it's pretty much unforgivable, but i atleast wanna try and give my best even if she doesn't forgive me, y'know?"
interesting
"mhmm. right, right."
???
he's still mad but he appreciates that jeon's doing the bare minimum of redeeming himself
speaking of, the poor kid looks like he's pissing himself because he may have just embarrassed himself with how long the silence stretches out
maybe,,, just maybe jin's gonna try and be a bridge this time
but like as soon as jungkook lacks for a fourth of a second, seokjin would BURN that bridge faster than a blink
"well first of all, you buy a lunchbox."
RIGHT RIGHT
:O
jungkook grabs a literal pocket notebook and jin pretends he didn't see that because WHO the hell does that!!!!
"of course... okay, proceed!! i'm taking notes," jungkook nods in understanding, jotting down the very important advice of not ordering from online because you can't smell the material through a screen
p.s. smelling containers before you buy them is a VITAL thing to do!! it already tells you about the quality at the first sniff
"are you buying one?"
"buying one for every day of the week. i'm thinking if i should get extras too-
"good idea. i recommend buying eight."
alright seokjin's mentioning some very specific colors and schemes and jungkook's not complaining!!!
MAYBE HE'S ONTO SOMETHING!!!
"what meals should i make? i don't even know what she likes!! and even if i knew what, how would i make it?"
why is his heart racing
yoongi may have taught you how to do your taxes but jin taught you how to cook food that's more than four steps!!!
he taught you how to not flinch at all when you're frying and that's the equivalent of raising you to be the woman that you are now <3
look at him and yoongi being your best friends!! teaching you about taxes and being unnerved at cooking oil and busting out a smoke ring or two <3
in fact, the lunches you've cooked for jungkook are all inspired and derived by seokjin!!!
the fact that jungkook's plan isn't bad and the way everything pieces together with his insight,,,, goosebumps luv
"....hypothetically? what i think she'd like?"
jungkook eagerly nods with stars in his eyes, fingers gripping onto his pen for dear life as he tries to channel all his listening techniques into this lecture
"get a bigger notepad."
:O
wow
"look at you!!" yoongi gushes the moment he sees you, waiting at you from the front door
you're going back to your classes again :D
you don't look as worse as you did four days ago!! you're not as sluggish and as animated too
"please don't," you snort as yoongi doesn't seem to stop looking at you like you've saved the world, giving no fight when he insists on carrying your backpack to your first class of the day
the past four days,, yeah they were undoubtedly rough
you slept as much as you could and for the moments you weren't dejected enough to be awake, you spent it surrounding yourself with seokjin and yoongi as much as possible
that's the beauty of hanging out them!!! you're not required to have a single thought lmao
except for the time when yoongi wondered aloud how eels even live and die (or if they even do???) in the first place and that sent everyone in a spiral and you didn't think of jungkook for a single seconds
you're not intimidated to go back to regular programming or with the fact that it's nOT unlikely you'd see a glimpse of jungkook in the hall and such
but that does mean that even if you're the bigger person, you're still gonna avoid him for as long as you could
speaking of!!!! you're looking for the person now that you're eager to find
"taehyung!!"
there he is :D you'd recognize that fluffy mop of permed hair anywhere
"y/n!!"
tae jumps over chairs in excitement to finally see you again after being so worried for you, engulfing you in a hug immediately
alright you see why yoongi thinks he's a golden retriever
you're clearly not a touchy-feely person but you'd let this one pass,, tae helped you (even indirectly) throughout your downtime anyways
"thank you so much for the cookies. i tried taking smaller bites just because i didn't wanna have them disappear that easy," you confess sheepishly, knowing how you had to pull the i just got my heart broken like two days ago multiple times so the two menaces would stop stealing from your stash
:D
jungkook's excited!!!! seokjin may have given him a tip that "he felt it in his gut" that you were gonna go to class today
he came a little late because he wanted to perfect the very loaded lunchbox that's in his backpack right now
oh weird
you're not in your usual chair
bUT jungkook sees a glimpse of your hair and he's certain that you're there and his heart may be beating out of his ribcage
a baby peach lunchbox with a sticker (of what seokjin said he thought you'd like) on the middle of the lid :D
pork katsudon with furikake rice aND coffee jelly pudding on the side!!! it was definitely pressure-racking to strictly adhere to jin's recipe but god does it look worth it
jungkook's only did miniature taste tests on it and he had to stop himself from devouring the lunch that he's made specifically for you
the lunchbox itself is tied neatly with a silk wrap, adding his touch of sewing your name visibly on it aND there's a scribble taped to the lid too
god jungkook really can't wait to make it up to you
sheesh that was one of THEE longest lectures you've ever felt you had
it was actually the same amount of time it's always been but maybe you've been out of practice from just staying at your dorm for days
tae's great company but he could be a little bit chatty!!! you just nod when you feel his voice go up and he apparently gets excited by that easily
.... he apparently also has a small bladder and he told you that within the whole hour of class
"hold on. i gotta pee before next period. go without me!!!' taehyung hurriedly slings his backpack to his arm, looking ridiculous in a rush
tae's sometimes unintentionally funny because you don't even share next period anyways
you're on your way to the exit when a shiny scarf catches the corner of your eye, having to squint at it because wow does it look pretty
is that-
is that your nAME???
you pick it up before you could even rationalize it, realizing then what it was wrapping when you feel the warmth on your hands
:")
"sorry i forgot my headband!!!"
taehyung stumbles back into the room, catching his breath to run back to his seat and fetch the headband he took from his hair to play with awhile ago
he looks shocked to see what's on your hands, flicking his gaze between you and the item but he doesn't think much of it
wOW that's a really shiny scarf!!!
"tae?"
"hmm yeah? what's up?"
he's about to jog back to the comfort room because he hasn't really relieved himself yet, not bearing to leave his headband in the room when anyone could snatch it up
you raise your lunchbox, a thankful gaze on your eyes that looks so close to crying which is why tae's mORE than lost now
"thanks for the lunch."
..
.....
jungkook could only helplessly watch.
425 notes · View notes
etherrreal · 4 years ago
Text
“resentment”
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Pairing: oikawa x fem!reader Genre: angst Summary: you used to love oikawa’s determination, his drive, his willingness to give his all and sacrifice everything to get the things he wants. now those are the same things that make you resent him. WC: 6,700 Warnings: lots of angst, explicit language, reader’s kinda petty but so is oikawa, relationship isn’t toxic or anything but it could def be better A/N: shoutout to @shadowkunoichi​ for this request! your ask gave me enough serotonin to last for the rest of the week <3 it’s also important to note that the moment i saw oikawa’s smug ass face on screen my brain and heart immediately went “this the one” so here’s some pain ft. my favorite setter -Dawn
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The first few times Oikawa cancels your dates for extended volleyball practice, you tell yourself it doesn’t bother you. You’re disappointed, of course –you barely see him enough as it is, despite living together for three months, despite dating for a total of eight– but it’s not the end of the world. It’s just another compromise you have to make, and it probably won’t be the last.
That’s what relationships are about, anyway, you remind yourself firmly, whenever the silence of your too-big for one person apartment starts to get to you. Compromise.
You’re no stranger to compromise, either. You can’t be, not when you’re dating a pro-athlete. You know better than anyone how talented Oikawa is, how admired. He’s worked so hard, and you’re so proud of him. You may not know much about sports, but you do know that your boyfriend has an amazing career ahead of him.
And while the selfish part of you would like to keep him all to yourself, you also know it won’t always be possible, and you tell yourself you’re okay with that. You love Oikawa, and you support every single one of his dreams, even if doing so means you have to eat dinner on your own sometimes.
It won’t always be this way, you tell yourself. It’s just for now. And it definitely doesn’t mean he loves you any less.
That’s what you tell yourself.
It helps that he’s always sorry about it. You hear it in his voice whenever he calls you to tell you he won’t be home until late, see it in the guilty way his eyes search for yours through the screen when he FaceTimes you to let you know you shouldn’t wait up for him. He’s even more torn up about it than you are most of the time, blowing your phone up with apologetic voice notes and text messages with too many emojis.
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: babe 😔😔
[you]:: yes baby?
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: 😔😔😔😔
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: 😩😩😭😭
[you]:: oh boy
[you]:: you’re not gonna be home in time for dinner, are you?
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i don’t think so 😩😔 we have that game coming up so we’ll be practicing all night
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i’m so sorry baby ☹️☹️ but i’ll have to miss dinner again 😭😭
[you]:: it’s fine, i’ll just find someone else to share my chicken with
[you]:: speaking of, u have ushiwaka’s #? i wanna see something
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: STOPPPP 😭😭 i’m sorry!!!
[you]:: allegedly
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: stop 😭😭 i mean it!! i love you pls don’t hate me 😩☹️
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i’m really sorry babe ☹️☹️
[you]:: if ur apology doesn’t include dollar signs then i don’t wanna hear it
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: check ur email
[you]:: ??
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: 👀😇
You check your email, and sure enough, there’s a gift card there to your favorite clothing store, along with a note that reads “financial compensation for putting up with me <3 also if u ever share chicken with ushiwaka i’ll cry and then die so pls don’t.” It makes you laugh so hard you forget about being upset with him in the first place.
[you]:: i was joking!! u didn’t actually have to send me anything u weirdo
[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i know 😇😏😘
And when he does make it home that night with an apology on his lips, a bouquet of flowers, and a promise that he’ll make it up to you, it’s hard to do anything else besides forgive him. Because you know that no matter how crazy both of your schedules are, no matter how lonely you might feel without him at your side, he loves you more than anything, and you love him as much in return. And for a while, that’s enough.
Until it isn’t.
You’re thankful to have successfully made it through your first year of grad school with just a caffeine addiction and minor bags under your eyes, but not having to attend your classes or meet with your professors over the break means you’re at the apartment a lot more. You still have your job, but it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore Oikawa’s absence.
It’s not just dates he’s missing anymore. It’s family events, outings with your friends, getaway trips the two of you planned weeks in advance.
You know it’s not his fault. He has things he wants to accomplish, goals he set for himself long before he met you. The Olympics are coming up, and he needs to be ready. You can’t blame him for staying late to get in some extra practice, or for having to attend events with his teammates and his fans instead of you.
You can’t blame him for any of it, at least not without feeling selfish and unsupportive, and somehow that just makes it worse.
It takes you longer than you’d like to admit to build up the courage to talk to him about it. You almost don’t want to bring it up at all, but after weeks of missed dates and apology bouquets, of waking up without him and going to sleep before he gets home, you crumble. You don’t think you can keep grinning and bearing it anymore, not without starting to resent him.
You confront him while he’s sitting at the kitchen island in the middle of your shared apartment. It’s rare he doesn’t have a game on the weekend, even rarer he gets to spend the afternoon with you. It almost makes you reconsider –will this ruin your time together?– but you hold fast. You know that if you don’t bring it up now, then you probably never will, and you’re not sure you can take that much more silent heartache.
Oikawa, for his part, does well to listen as you speak. He watches you intently, pretty brown eyes soft and searching, as you tell him about how neglected you’re feeling, how lonely.
You know he’s not doing it on purpose. You know he’s meant every single one of his apologies, and that this is what you signed up for when you agreed to be in a relationship with him. And you love how driven he is, how determined he is to succeed.
You just...you miss him. That’s what it boils down to in the end: how much you miss him. You miss him now more than that time he left to spend a month back home in Japan while you stayed in Argentina, despite the fact that you’re in the same country this time, despite the fact that you share the same apartment. It shouldn’t be possible, but it’s true.
“I know your career is important, and I would never try to get in the way of that,” you tell him, quietly, tiredly. There’s an exhausted air around you he’s never seen before, the kind of whispered sadness that breaks his heart. “But sometimes, Tooru...sometimes it feels like I’m dating a ghost. And I’m not mad at you, or angry, I’m just...lonely.”
You finally look at him, and the emotion in his eyes startles you. He’s actually tearing up –“you’re such a crybaby,” you like to tease him when his eyes water during sad movies, but you always comfort him anyway– and it’s enough to make your eyes fill with tears, too. He looks so sad, so broken, like knowing he’s hurt you –even if it’s been completely unintentional– hurts him too.
He’s quick to stand and walk over to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You return the embrace, resting your head against his chest while one of his hands moves to cradle the back of your head.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers into your hair, and you can tell by the way his voice shakes that he means it. “I know things have been crazy lately, but that’s no excuse for leaving you here alone. I never want you to feel like you’re anything besides the most important person in my life. I love you so much, and I promise I’m going to fix this. Things will get better, I swear.”
And in that moment, you believe him. You trust him, after all, and you know he doesn’t make promises he can’t keep. So you let him mumble reassurances into your hair, let him kiss your breath away and shower you in the affection you’ve been missing for far too long.
It’s so easy to get lost in it, lost in him. Too easy.
He’s always been like that; charismatic and witty, magnetic and charming. It doesn’t help that he’s totally gorgeous, too. You knew, from the moment you met him, that if you ever let yourself fall in love with him, you’d be in trouble. It’s why you never took any of his advances seriously, at least not in the beginning.
But he was able to chip at your resolve with every teasing smile and playful wink, every reverent touch and whispered words meant just for you. He let you get to know him; the real him, not that flippant and perfect pretty boy facade he presents to the rest of the world, and so of course you fell for him, because how could you not?
Oikawa is stubborn and prideful, exhausting and even sometimes petty, but he makes you feel like you’re the strongest person he knows. He looks at you like you’re the only one he’ll ever want to see. He makes you laugh and keeps you on your toes, and you know right away –before you moved in together, before you told him you loved him– that you will never love anyone the way you love him, because no one else will ever be able to compare.
That’s why it’s so easy for you to believe him now. Because you know he loves you and that you love him, and the two of you are determined to make this relationship work. So when he promises that things will change, that he’ll be more present from here on out, you believe him.
It’s the first promise he’s ever made to you that he doesn’t keep.
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For every event Oikawa does bother to make it to, he misses two more. Your parents, who adore him, wonder why they never see him anymore. Your friends start to ask if you even still have a boyfriend. You find yourself asking the very same thing.
You stop inviting him to events at your university and lunches with your friends. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment anymore, and you figure it’s easier to just save yourself from the inevitable. The apology gifts he gives you start to feel hollow, empty, just like your apartment. You stop opening them, letting them pile up in the corner of your living room. Eventually, he stops giving them to you.
You’re not sure if you’re thankful for that, or if it upsets you even more.
The Olympics get closer each day. Oikawa’s practices become more intense and even longer than they already were. There are so many things he needs to do now: games to play, meet and greets to attend. Sometimes if he’s out too late he just doesn’t come home at all. The team sets him up at a hotel, and he stays there for the night instead.
It gets harder to catch his scent on his pillow where it lays beside you in bed, untouched and forgotten. It should hurt you more, but it doesn’t.
There’s an event being held back in Japan, promising a night of drinking and dancing and schmoozing. All the investors and international players and coaches will be there, and you promised a while back to be Oikawa’s plus one.
The vindictive part of you wants to cancel on him, just so he knows how it feels, but you decide you can put your pettiness aside for a few nights if it means free booze and food and a comfortable stay at some ridiculously fancy hotel. You wonder if that’ll be enough to fill the hole he’s made in your heart.
Besides, you want to remind him that you’re the kind of person who keeps your word, even if he’s not.
The flight is long and exhausting. So is finding your hotel and forcing yourself to get dressed, but you get through it. Oikawa looks unfairly stunning in his suit, but you try not to notice. He arrives at the party with you on his arm, wearing a silky gown that matches his tie and jewelry that glitters whenever it catches the light.
You’ve barely talked to each other the whole way here, but at the party, amongst his teammates, old rivals, and friends, you’re the perfect couple. You smile, laugh, and dance exactly when you’re supposed to. You play your role so well that no one notices how numb you are, not even Oikawa, even though he’s supposed to know you better than anyone else.
Maybe that’s why you find yourself at the open bar. Oikawa’s off mingling with god knows who, swamped by dozens of people who are always seeking his favor, trapped in his orbit. They praise his hard work, his tenacity, his determination. Once upon a time, you would’ve done the same.
But things are different between you now. What used to be Oikawa’s endearing stubbornness is now an outright refusal to meet you halfway. His determination to be the best has become an inability to compromise; his passion has become obsession. It’s strange to think how all the things that used to make you love him now just make you resent him.
But the liquor here is free and flowing so you knock it back like water, and it’s almost enough to make you forget your heartbreak, your anger. Almost.
All the drinking eventually sends you to the bathroom. You touch up your makeup as best as you can and wash your hands with one of the several different soap options, exiting the bathroom noticeably drunker than you were when you went in.
You’re off-balance enough that when you run into what feels like a brick wall but is actually just a tall, broad-shouldered man, you stumble and nearly fall over. He reacts quicker than you do, catching your elbow and steadying you back on your feet.
He asks you if you’re all right and you reassure him that you are. You swear you’ve seen his face before, but you’re too tipsy right now to bother to remember where.
“I appreciate the help,” you say sincerely, patting his shoulder. “But I promise I’m okay. Thank you again, really.”
He gives you a look like he doesn’t believe you, and he’s proven right approximately five seconds later, when you turn on your heel to leave and nearly fall over again. Once more, he’s there to catch you.
You try to convince him that you’re okay; you’re just a little bit tipsy from all the champagne earlier, but he guides you to one of the stupid velvet couches in the hallway and makes you sit down. He tells you to stay there and wait for him, and you want to protest but he’s already gone before you can make any real sort of argument.
When he returns, it’s with a bottle of water, which you sheepishly accept. He stays with you as you drink it, and your vision and stomach start to settle. You thank him again for all his help. He tells you it’s no big deal, and when he introduces himself as Ushijima Wakatoshi, you laugh so hard you almost spit water all over yourself.
Ushijima raises an eyebrow at you. “Is there something about my name that amuses you?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” It takes more effort than it should, but you’re thankfully able to force yourself to stop laughing. Talk about ironic encounters. “It’s just– I’ve heard of you before.”
“Are you a fan of volleyball?”
You resist the urge to snort, sending him an amused smile instead. “Something like that.”
The two of you chat for a little while, and it’s a surprisingly pleasant conversation. You quite like his company, and you appreciate how he’s willing to keep an eye on you solely out of the kindness of his heart, just to make sure you’re really okay. It’s hardly necessary anymore –the water’s doing a great job at sobering you up– but it’s a nice distraction from the reason you started drinking in the first place.
Or it was, until you start to hear that very same reason calling your name from somewhere down the hall. His voice gets closer and closer, and you shut your eyes, bracing yourself.
“What the hell?”
You open your eyes and suddenly Oikawa is in front of you, eyebrows drawn together and lips pulled into a deep frown. You can only imagine what you look like to him right now, low-eyed and tipsy and sitting on a couch next to his oldest rival.
You can already see the anger in his eyes, the suspicion. He’s jealous, and it’s absolutely ridiculous because he has no right to be. Not after ignoring you for so long. Not after reminding you over and over again that when it comes down to it, you’ll always be second place to his career.
You haven’t been flirting with Ushijima, but now you wonder if maybe you should have. There’s a bitter part of you that wants to hurt Oikawa as much as he’s hurt you, even if it’s only for a moment.
Ushijima seems completely oblivious to the situation, which you’re sure just infuriates your boyfriend even more. He’s described to you in great detail how one of the things he finds most frustrating about Ushijima is how completely and utterly unbothered he is by everything.
“Oikawa,” the man closest to you greets, standing up. “It’s good to see you.”
“Ushiwaka.” The smile your boyfriend directs to his old rival is tight-lipped and void of any of its usual warmth. Oikawa’s gaze settles on you next, eyes narrowing even further. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Come on, let’s go.”
“I’m sorry.” Your voice is plain, dull, as you tilt your head at him mockingly. “Do I know you?”
“Stop being cute.” The way he practically snaps it makes it clear he doesn’t think you’re being cute at all. In fact, he actually looks pretty pissed, and you almost smile at the realization. As petty as he can be, it’s clear you’re better at this than he is. “It’s getting late. It’s time for us to leave.”
Ushijima’s gaze slides over to you. “Do you know him?”
But you’re not looking at him. You’re looking straight at Oikawa, at the tenseness of his shoulders, the way he’s on the verge of fuming. Apparently, just the idea of you being alone with his oldest rival is more concerning to him than the fact that you’ve barely spent any time with each other in the past two months. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
“Of course.” You stand, closing the short distance between yourself and Oikawa. “He’s my boyfriend. My loving, devoted, perfect boyfriend.”
You place the hand that’s not holding your water bottle against his chest, perching on your toes to deliver a sweet kiss to his cheek. When you pull away, the stain of your lipstick remains, and you wonder if he can feel the resentment in it.
“I just forget sometimes, is all. You know, since we never see each other.”
You don’t bother to examine the look on his face. You can’t find it in yourself to care anymore. You turn to Ushijima instead, offering a tired but genuine smile.
“Thank you again for your help, Ushijima. It was a pleasure to officially meet you. Have a good night.”
You turn on your heel and walk away, down the hall and past several magnificent paintings, past any apology you would normally be ready to offer. It’s petty and deliberate, the kind of reaction you didn’t think you were capable of before this, but it’s all you have left. Oikawa doesn’t care, hasn’t cared for a while actually, so neither will you.
You don’t know what he says to Ushijima or if he even says anything at all, but you do hear his footsteps when he runs after you. They slow as he gets closer, but you don’t stop walking, don’t turn back to look.
“Are you fucking kidding me? What– what the fuck was all that back there, huh?”
You stop. Slowly, you turn to look at him, but you don’t say anything. You just stand there, watching, waiting, feeling absolutely nothing as you do.
“‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’” It’s a poor imitation of your voice, but the intention is there. “So what, I don’t spend enough time with you and suddenly it’s okay for you to flirt with someone else?”
You laugh without humor. “That’s what you’re stuck on? The fact that I had a conversation with him and not the part where I said we never see each other? You truly have a gift, Tooru.”
The frown on his face deepens, but the anger in his eyes softens a little, replaced by a hint of guilt. There’s regret there, too, over not keeping the promise he made to you. You would be more moved by it if you weren’t so completely infuriated right now.
He closes his eyes, letting out a sigh. “I’m not going to have this argument with you. Not here.”
“Where should we have it then, hm? In the lobby? At the hotel? We’re damn sure not having it when we get home, because you’re never fucking there!”
You don’t mean to scream at him, but that’s what comes out. You’re not sure which one of you is more surprised by it. Oikawa stares at you, wide-eyed and stunned, as if you’ve just slapped him, and you stare back, breathing hard. You’re so focused on each other you don’t even notice you have an audience until you hear a new, familiar voice speak.
“Hey.” Iwaizumi steps between you, concerned and cautious.
He’s the only one here, thank god, but his appearance reminds you that this is definitely not the time or the place for any of this. You shouldn’t care who overhears you, but as angry as you are, you’re not selfish enough to air out your relationship’s problems in front of all of Oikawa’s friends and colleagues. You still love him, after all, even if it’s hurting you to do so.
Iwaizumi casts a wary glance between you and his best friend, almost like he’s preparing himself to play the unwilling referee in what seems to be an inevitable fight. Any other time, you might’ve laughed at the look on his face, but not now. “Everything okay, you two?”
It’s not. It hasn’t been for a while, and right now Oikawa’s looking at you like he’s finally realizing that too.
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The car ride back to the hotel is eerily silent. You and Oikawa share no words, no fleeting glances; you don’t even sit close enough to touch each other, not even accidentally. The ride up to your floor is spent in a similar fashion, a cold distance settling between you that’s never been there before.
Or maybe it’s been there for a while, and it took you screaming at him in the middle of a party for the two of you to notice it.
Miraculously, you make it into your room in one piece. The two of you remove your coats and shoes in that same suffocating silence. You make it to the bedroom without exchanging a single word, and he takes a seat on the bed while you sit in front of the vanity and begin removing your jewelry.
Another long stretch of silence later, and then he’s meeting your eyes in the mirror to ask, “Can we talk?”
You consider telling him to go fuck himself instead, but somehow you bite down the urge.
“About what?” You take off your necklace, a pretty golden chain with your birthstone on it that he got you for your birthday. “About how I wasn’t flirting with Ushijima? Because I wasn’t, if that’s what you’re still so torn up about.”
“I know you weren’t,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. It’s a bit longer than you remember; that’s how long it’s been since you’ve really gotten the chance to look at him. “I don’t know why I said that.”
“I do. You were jealous.” Your earrings are the next to go, another gift from him. He’s scattered himself into so many pieces across your life; you’re not sure how you’ll ever be free of him, or if you’ll ever want to be. “But you had no reason to be. I would never do that to you.”
“I know.” He looks down, fidgets with his fingers, meets your gaze again through the mirror. His tie is loosened around his neck, making him look disheveled in just the way you like. “I’m sorry.”
“Great.” Your tone is short, clipped, as you finally remove the last of your jewelry. “Is that all?”
“Please don’t do that. I’m trying to have a conversation with you here, so that we can fix this. I mean, don’t you want to talk about everything, especially after tonight?”
“I’ve already said everything I needed to say, Tooru.” You break your gaze from the mirror, turning to glance over your shoulder at him instead. “You know exactly what the problem is, just like I know you won’t do a single thing to change it. You can’t, because my feelings –our entire relationship– all of that stuff’s always going to come second to the things you want.”
The frown from earlier is back now, this time paired with a hard look, like he can’t believe you’re questioning his commitment, even though he’s given you dozens of reasons to do so. “That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?” You rise to your feet, a dry, humorless laugh escaping your throat as you do. “Tell that to the countless dates you’ve missed. Tell that to the bed you hardly sleep in anymore, to all the times I’ve fallen asleep without you and then woken up only to realize you still weren’t there.”
The words feel heavy and bitter on your tongue, your anger growing the more you think about everything you’ve endured over the past few months, all the different ways he’s managed to disappoint you.
“There’s nothing untrue about it, Tooru. You just don’t care about me the way I care about you.”
“Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me I don’t care about you?” he demands. “Of course I care. I love you, dammit. How could you ever think I don’t?”
“How couldn’t I? God, have you seriously not heard a single thing I’ve said this entire time? I’m practically in this relationship by myself, and you’re doing absolutely nothing to change that!”
“You think I like having to leave you on your own so much? You think it doesn’t break my heart seeing the look on your face every time I have to tell you I can’t make it to all the things I want to be there for?” He’s on his feet now, hand jabbing at his chest, like if he could rip out his heart and show you the scars there, he would. “Because it does, okay? It makes me fucking miserable, but what else am I supposed to do?”
“You’re supposed to be there, Tooru!” You don’t know when you started crying, but you are. You’re yelling too, hands shaking, voice raw. “You’re supposed to be there when I need you, not make stupid promises you can’t keep! And even if you can’t be there all the time, you’re at least supposed to try!”
“I am trying! I’ve been trying this whole time, and you know that!” He sounds as exasperated and raw as you do, waving his arms around, red-faced and distressed. “You knew what my goals were before we started dating. I never hid them from you. You knew exactly what I wanted, you knew how hard I would have to work, how hard it would be for us, and you agreed to be with me anyway! You promised me you wouldn’t let it come between us!”
“Well, that was before I knew how fucking impossible it would be!”
There’s nothing productive being exchanged between the two of you anymore. You’re just screaming at each other. You call him obsessed and self-absorbed; he calls you needy and demanding. He tells you to grow up and stop asking for so much, and you tell him he’s chasing a pointless dream.
You’re not trying to compromise with each other, or trying to make the other see your point of view. You both just want to hurt each other, and you do.
You’re crying by the end of it; so is he, but you both refuse to admit defeat. It’s one of the many things you have in common: your stubbornness. You’re out of breath and hurting and there’s a small part of you that just wants him to hold you, but at the same time, you can’t stand the sight of him anymore.
You storm out of the room before he gets the chance to, looking back to catch him throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. You throw yourself onto the couch and opt to sleep there for the night, because you know that if you don’t, you’ll probably end up strangling each other.
Oikawa, for once, is wise enough not to follow you, but there’s a quiet voice inside your heart that wishes he did.
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You wake up the next morning with a stuffy nose and a migraine. The price of crying yourself to sleep, you suppose. Your appetite is gone but you know that if you don’t eat anything soon the pain behind your skull will only get worse, so you force yourself to stand from the couch.
You step on something hard, eyes widening at the indignant noise of protest it lets out in response. You lose your footing almost immediately, toppling over onto the carpet. It’s everything you can do to throw out your hands and avoid smacking your forehead against the coffee table.
“What the fuck, Tooru?” You scowl when you realize it’s not a random object you’ve tripped over, but rather your own boyfriend, who for some inconceivable reason is laying on the floor beside the couch. “It’s bad enough we spent last night fighting– now you’re trying to kill me, too?”
“I could say the same thing to you!” Oikawa exclaims, returning your scowl with equal exasperation. He’s rubbing at his chest, a pout tugging at his lips as he groans. “You just stepped on my chest. I could have died.”
“Oh, bite me, drama queen.” You roll your eyes, preparing to stand up again, but then you notice the dark circles on his usually flawless skin, the messiness of his hair, and the fact that he’s still wearing his suit from last night, though the tie is gone and the first few buttons of his shirt are loosened. “...did you actually sleep out here? On the floor? Why didn’t you just sleep on the bed like a normal person?”
“I couldn’t.” He pouts even more, and when you nudge his leg with your foot, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It didn’t feel right without you. It never does. But it felt even worse after last night.”
It melts your heart, you admit. Just a little. But it’s not enough to make you forgive him or to forget your argument, and right now he’s looking at you like he knows that too.
Still, you feel the urge to remind him, “I’m still pissed at you.”
“I know. I’m really sorry. Not just for what I said last night, but for everything I’ve done before that. I never should’ve made you feel like you’re asking for too much, because you’re not, it’s just…” He takes a shaky breath, leans his head back against the couch from where he sits beside you on the floor. “...it’s hard.”
He turns his body slightly so he’s facing you fully. He starts to reach out a hand towards you, almost like he wants to cup your cheek, but he seems to think better of it and lets his hand drop down between you. You almost smile.
His eyes are hesitant as they meet yours, apologetic. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you, either.” You fiddle with the straps of your gown where they’ve slid down your arm. You were so exhausted and upset after your fight with him that you didn’t bother to change out of it. “...do you really think I’m needy and demanding?”
“Of course not,” he answers easily. “Do you really think I’m chasing a pointless dream?”
“Definitely not. Your dream isn't pointless, Tooru, it’s amazing, and it’s one I know you can reach.” Your hands brush where they rest between you. He tenses slightly, like he’s not sure you’ll want to touch him after everything, but you slide your fingers through his and watch as he lets out a quiet sigh of relief. “I was just angry.”
“Me too.” He squeezes your hand, and you let him pull you a bit closer to him, let him press a kiss to the back of your palm. “I don’t want to fight with you. And I definitely don’t want to disappoint you anymore.”
“I don’t want to blame you or resent you anymore, either.” You inch closer and he lets you rest your head against his shoulder, resting his own against yours in return. A clock ticks on the wall behind you. For the first time in a while, it feels like the two of you are back in sync. “So what are we gonna do about it?”
It’s the million-dollar question, it seems. And it’s the one that, after weeks of heartache, of missing each other and blaming each other at the same time, he finally has the answer to.
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When you return to Argentina together, everything changes. Oikawa’s determination goes back to being something you love, now that he’s putting it towards making sure the two of you get to spend time together. He’s at the apartment more; does his best to get to dinner on time, to attend outings with your family and friends, and to meet you halfway at fancy restaurants and magnificent museums and shower you with his undivided attention.
It’s not perfect. He’s still busy, so he can’t be with you all the time, but the effort is there. You see it now more than ever, and it’s all you’ve wanted.
It doesn’t last.
You spend three blissful months together, both of you putting in an equal amount of effort to make it work, to understand each other and support each other, even when it seems impossible. But Oikawa’s schedule becomes more and more unyielding as time goes on, and it’s not long before the cycle of absence starts all over again.
If you had to really pinpoint the beginning of the end, you’d say it’s the night of your presentation. The research project you’ve spent countless hours working on has finally been completed, and tonight you’re going to share it with the public; this thing you’ve struggled with since you entered grad school, this thing you’ve put your blood, sweat, and tears into, both metaphorically and literally.
It goes incredibly well, as your professors and mentors reassured you it would. Your classmates, friends, and parents are all there, and they get to watch and glow with pride as the room erupts into applause once you finish your presentation, knocking the whole thing out of the park just like they knew you would.
The only one who isn’t there is Oikawa, despite you telling him about this ages ago, despite it being written on the calendar hanging on your fridge. You know he texted you with some excuse, but you don’t bother to check which one it was this time.
It should hurt more. It should make you want to shout and scream, to sob and cry, but it doesn’t. The anger you felt before, the fury and heartbreak; it’s not there anymore. It’s gone. You’re not sad or upset or disappointed. You just don’t feel anything at all.
Your friends offer to take you out for the night to celebrate, but you politely decline. Instead, you make your way to the apartment you share with Oikawa, finding it emptier than it’s ever been before.
Months ago, you might’ve cried. Now you do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing. It’s just numb.
By the time Oikawa does make it home, you’re already packed. You’re sitting at the table, waiting, still as a statue. He greets you in a flurry of brown hair and frantic movement, an apology you don’t care to listen to fast on his lips. He whirls by you so quickly he doesn’t even notice your bags stacked next to you.
“Shit, baby, I’m so sorry! I know I’m late, but I’m here now and I promise I won’t be going anywhere for the next few–…”
It takes him a few moments, a couple of double-takes, but finally, he registers the silence around him, the sight of you at the table, surrounded by your things. For once, he has no idea what to say; you see it in the way he looks at you, the way he freezes, wide-eyed and almost afraid.
“My research presentation was today,” you start. “It went great. They’re going to publish it in a journal.”
You watch his face crumple right before your eyes, watch the way his shoulders slump. He looks more defeated now than during any of his previous losses, and so, so incredibly guilty.
“But I thought it wasn’t until–...but it was, wasn’t it? Oh, god. I– I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I know you are.”
You stand up. The smile you send him is tired and a little sad, but it’s not bitter, at least not anymore. You’re past that now. You’d like to think you both are.
“I’m so proud of you, Tooru. You work harder than anybody I’ve ever known. I just know you’re going to reach every single one of your dreams.”
You mean it, too. Oikawa has an incredible future ahead of him. You’ve always known that. Once upon a time, you believed you might be a part of it, but not anymore.
“...but I also know that I can’t be with you when you do. I can’t– I won’t be second place for the rest of my life.”
He’s incredibly stubborn, and this time is no different. He tries to change your mind, tries to convince you to stay, but it’s far too little and far too late. Too much has happened between you two, and you just don’t have it in you to be disappointed anymore.
You love him. You do. You always will, and you tell him so, too. But just because you love someone, you remind him softly, doesn’t mean you’re meant to be with them. You love him enough to let him go, and you’re hoping he loves you the same.
“But you promised you’d stay,” he whispers, more heartbroken than you’ve ever seen him over all of this, over you. “You promised we’d figure it out. And now...now you’re just giving up on us?”
You place your keys on the table. The clock in your– no, his kitchen ticks along. It matches the slow, broken beating of your heart. He’s run out of time, and you’ve run out of chances.
“That’s just it, Tooru. I have nothing left to give you.”
This time when you leave, you don’t look back.
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Written by: Dawn
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rrasado · 4 years ago
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AY welcome back! Hope your having a great day and staying healthy! May i request a headcannon for demon! mc but they aren't your normal demon they are 👑royalty👑 like diavolo
(This is twst request so how do the twst boys react?)
Hell’s Monarch Who?
We gonna hella free style this djdndn, I’m gonna go with the Vices so Le go!-
I’m writing this before I go to bed so please excuse any typos djdjdjdh, I never expected anyone to even want my writing so this request honestly caught me off guard
When you’re of demon royalty:
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Say that again but slowly
Oh you said it again- yoU ARE WHAT²?
Mans probably saw a lot already especially as a third year student of Heartslabyul. From flying table wear to gloating heads to a ritual party door mouse- but to think you are of Royal descent- no scratch that of deMONIC DESCENT-
Congrats this is the second time you’ve broke down his walls after Riddle’s Overblot.
He’s definitely gonna be a bit more precise with whatever food he makes for you from now on, probably discreetly console what type of extreme food you can even consume
Who knows? This might be a good learning experience for him in case a demon drops by the family bakery- yeah right he just got even more infatuated with you without even knowing.
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...so you rich rich- no no fr you have demonic dough on you huh-
OK OK- but in all seriousness he’s gonna be a bit- scratch that expect him to be around you more a lot, whether to chat or to find an opportunity to leach off of u- he’s gonna take that time and go.
You aren’t the first inhuman Royal he’s had to deal with. But you’re definitely the first demonus species he’s ever even encountered. Hey gotta roll with life am I right-
No it’s not life that’s rolling it Ruggie rolling over to you from across the courtyard on your way to lunch.
All in all he’s gonna be curious on the shiny aspect of your lineage. He’s already seen what Leona has but how are demon royalty different in such aspect-
Hey if you feel it he can jokes about getting a position in your court or something-/j...unless-
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And we all thought he couldn’t get anymore inquisitive.
You turn the hallway- oh hi Leech-senpai! You fall in line for an event- oh jade didn’t expect to see you here!
This man loves observing anything unusual to him. He hates anything predictable but seeing as he was from the depths of the sea a....you being of another realm and lineage is far from predictable in his book.
If Ruggie was always around then this man is always observing from afar. Unlike the hyena he takes a significantly more subtle approach when it comes to nitpicking someone as enigmatic as yourself.
Once the routine lengthens and he’s taken note of everything he can from afar, then and only then does he take a closer look.
He might invite you over to the lounge if the opportunity strikes him. Knowing jade he’ll make a way for said opportunity to come as naturally as you enticing him.
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His mind says no but his body says yes.
Before you cackle let me elaborate- the initial response in his mental flow is to stay as frckin far away from you as possible. But his physical instincts tell him to stay by you.
Maybe it was due to how many times Kalim was put in danger. But if he knew anything...it’s too observe whats out of the norm as much as you can and think of a counter.
Oh dear Jamil you complete and utter fool, he mistakes being enthralled by your unique biology for wanting to observe you out of obligation as a protector to his ‘master’
He wants to see the world right? What the world can offer him from beyond the walls of the mansions and elegant vicinities he’s had to serve in. You give him a taste of that ngl.
In short the man might be a tad bit more open the more you two share what you knew about the high way of life. From both perspectives of course... with you from the top and him from the side.
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And here we thought Ruggie and Jade were diligent.
This man redefined the word INTRIGUED- unlike jade he...never allows himself to be seen.
But also unlike jade he’s more lenient in approaching you, observing every single mannerism of your up close to nitpick whether your unique blood differentiates your etiquette to pure humans or whether your mannerisms are the result of only a royal’s poise.
The self proclaimed love hunter has always held Vil in high regard like the very Beautiful queen herself- but observing you gives him more of an idea of the difference between true royals and the acclaimed.
Everything you do everything you interact with- he finds an otherworldly sense in it, even just the way you converse with someone he senses that subdued aura of authority.
Beaut 100 all the way
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Hyper bb does analyzations on the spot-
Is that why you come off on his sensors? Like you look like the others minus this ethereal charm you’ve always had but other than that. Wow you slipped from under his view, literally.
The dear is more curious than intrigued, he wants to know more but in a more kid sense (?). Imagine talking to a kid who’s never explored the world before- ye that.
Like I mean it’s not wrong since the world is your world and not only that but just like his big brother you are tied to Nobel duties, except...amplified-
OMG ARE YOU GONNA MARRY FOR DIPLOMATIC REASONS TO-
He remembers the many legends that hailed from the internet His brother. Which won’t take much to figure that they’re likely myths from the isle. Overall...pls be patient with him his reactors aren’t meant for royals from another realm.
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Not...surprised? No wait scratch that- he isn’t as caught off guard as the others.
Man is probably as old as the campus/j. He’s seen his fair share of mystical things that go beyond the average wizard’s scope of specialty- but to think he’d be in the presence of demonic royalty?
Are you an heir? In line for the throne? Do you have any royal duties in need of attending despite being here in NRC? No the better question is how old are you-
On a more serious note. Lilia would most likely be intrigued by whatever difference there is with the monarchy of hell to the monarchy of the valley of thorns.
He’s no stranger to insults and racial discrimination, even his own race have been called demons at one point in history, whether he detested it or not was a secret. So you being an actual demon...perhaps you can enlighten this old soul?
Overall...You’d feel a lot more at ease with him. You’d feel like you’re talking to the ol palace advisers rather than a curious human. Ah...that’s to be expected.
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timelesslords · 3 years ago
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Can u pls write a percabeth fic where Percy and Rachel are dating and percabeth are best friends and they end up spending the night together and it's been a week and they don't know how to tell Rachel and Rachel being bitter ?? Pls
This was kind of out of my comfort zone in terms of what I usually write lol but I tried my best!! I imagine this as like a mortal college AU :)
send me a prompt!
“Beth, you can’t walk home like this,” Percy said, exasperated.
“I’m fine! I’m hardly even drunk,” Annabeth said, trying (and failing) to quash the butterflies in her stomach when he called her Beth. Percy, having been her best friend for almost a decade, was the only person in the whole world who was allowed to call her that. He only pulled it out in rare situations, and every time he did Annabeth would swear her heart skipped five consecutive beats.
Not that he could ever know that, of course. Now felt like a more precarious situation than most-- she’d come over to his dorm so they could watch a movie together, and had ended up curled up together on his bed around his laptop. In fairness, his dorm was tiny and there was nowhere else to sit besides his bed, but if Annabeth imagined really hard she could pretend that it had all been completely intentional, and he was sitting this close to her because he wanted to.
“Hardly?” Percy asked, raising an eyebrow. And, fine. Annabeth had had… an amount to drink. A non-zero amount, some might say. More than Percy, and she had a way lower tolerance than him. She was buzzed, sure, but not buzzed enough to walk back across campus to her own dorm.
“I’m fine. It’s barely twenty minutes,” Annabeth protested. She started to stand up, but Percy gently tugged her back into the bed. She should have put up more resistance than she did, but, well. Who could blame her.
“It’s also three in the morning and you’re drunk,” Percy said, “Come on, just stay the night.”
“Stay where? Grover’s bed?” Annabeth asked, repressing giggles at the thought. It wasn’t really that funny a thought, but, well, she was tipsy.
Percy’s roommate was gone for the night to visit his girlfriend, leaving his bed empty. Grover was a cool guy, but he also had a weird tendency to leave soda cans just about everywhere, including in his bed.
Percy just rolled his eyes. “No, here.”
It took Annabeth a few seconds to realize exactly what he was saying.
“In your bed?” Annabeth asked, hesitantly.
“We’ve been sitting on it together all night,” Percy pointed out.
“Yeah, but…” Annabeth trailed off.
It was different. She knew it was different. And frankly, any other time she’d be absolutely delighted that Percy was offering that difference, but there was also the issue of Percy’s girlfriend. Percy’s girlfriend, who he’d met their freshman year and hit it off with despite the fact that Annabeth had been in love with him since she knew what love was. Percy’s girlfriend, who was in another dorm on campus not ten minutes away, not here but also not not here.
“But what?” Percy asked. There was the tiniest bit of a smirk on his face, and Annabeth shoved his shoulder, rolling her eyes.
“You know what,” she said. Maybe it came off a little more seriously than she’d meant, but he didn’t seem to care.
“It’s not like we’d be doing anything,” Percy said. Annabeth tried not to feel hurt at how foreign the concept of “doing anything” seemed to him in relation to him and her. But she didn’t have any right to feel any type of way about that, because she and Percy were just friends and Percy had a girlfriend who was not going to be happy about Annabeth spending the night in his bed, regardless of which activities did or did not take place there.
“Yeah, I know, but its just… I don’t know, don’t you think Rachel will be mad?”
“You’re staying here because you need a place to crash. She can’t be mad about that.”
“I’m pretty sure she could find something to be mad about,” Annabeth muttered, mostly to herself. Percy heard her though. They were sitting so close their shoulders were touching, so it would have been a miracle if he didn’t.
“Fine, I’ll sleep on the floor. She can’t be mad about that,” Percy said, actually making to get up like he was about to lie down right there and then. It was Annabeth’s turn to pull him back onto the mattress.
“Don’t be stupid, you’re not sleeping on the floor in your own dorm room,” Annabeth said, “Besides, she’d just say I kicked you off your bed.”
Maybe Annabeth should’ve kept that last bit to herself, but she’d never been very good at hiding her feelings about Rachel. Percy sighed, knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it.
“Well I’m not letting you sleep on the floor,” he said stubbornly, despite the fact that Annabeth hadn’t even suggested it. She had to bite back a laugh at the indignant look on his face.
“Percy, I was never going to sleep on your floor. I was going to go home,” she reminded him.
“Well I’m not letting you do that either,” he said, “So I guess you’re stuck in bed with me, unless you want me to spend the night on concrete.”
“You’re so goddamn annoying,” Annabeth grumbled.
“Does that mean you’re staying?” he asked. His expression brightened considerably at the prospect, and Annabeth had to physically force herself to calm her heart rate down.
“Well apparently I don’t have a choice,” Annabeth said, rolling her eyes, praying to every god in the universe that she wasn’t blushing.
“Right,” Percy said, putting on some exaggerated confidence, “Obviously. So am I taking the floor or the bed?”
Annabeth knew he would sleep on the floor in a heartbeat. If she told him that she was uncomfortable being in his bed with him, he would gladly spend the night on cold concrete in the middle of winter in a dorm that had, frankly, terrible heating.
But she wasn’t about to make him do that. And if she was honest with herself, being in bed with him was the opposite of uncomfortable.
“The bed,” she sighed. Percy grinned triumphantly.
“I knew you wouldn’t make me sleep on the floor,” he said, and Annabeth finally let herself laugh.
“Yeah, because I told you so twice.”
“I think it’s because I know you so well, actually,” he said, finally closing his laptop that had been playing the movie earlier, and setting it on his bedside table. They’d turned the lights off earlier, and without the soft glow of the computer screen the only lights in the room were the faint street lights outside.
The bed was just a regular old twin, with not much space for either of them. That was why they were touching so much, Annabeth reminded herself. Just that. No other reason. He just put his arm around her shoulders because it was more comfortable that way, that was all.
It was late, and Annabeth was drunk, so falling asleep was easy. But she’d be lying if she said Percy didn’t help with that too.
***
It’d been a week since Annabeth had spent the night at Percy’s dorm, and they hadn’t talked about it at all.
She’d woken up the next morning completely hungover, and also with her and Percy’s limbs completely tangled together. The bed they’d shared was small, but it wasn’t that small.
Percy, of course, had acted like it was nothing. He’d teased her about her bed head and she’d half-heartedly teased him back about his morning breath, and then she’d packed her stuff from the night before and made her walk of shame back to her dorm. Except it wasn’t even a proper walk of shame, because they hadn’t actually done anything.
He hadn’t brought it up since, like it had been no big deal at all. Annabeth wished she could be so lowkey about it, but it was the only thing she’d been thinking about that entire week.
They’d already planned to meet up at the end of the week again, only this time in a group setting. A group setting meant Rachel was going to be there, and Percy might think their little sleepover hadn’t been a big deal, but Rachel was definitely not going to share that opinion. Annabeth was honestly dreading facing her so much that she considered bailing at least ten times. In the end, she decided that she had to just suck it up— she was going to have to face Rachel at some point, it might as well have been now.
All that to say Annabeth was a little surprised when she showed up at the party, only to find Rachel acting completely normal towards her. She was irritated towards Annabeth, but that wasn’t unusual. Rachel was always irritated towards Annabeth, and Annabeth was always irritated towards Rachel. But Rachel wasn’t pissed at her like Annabeth expected her to be. She wasn’t even not pissed, she was downright cordial.
All it took was one look at Percy for Annabeth to confirm what she already knew. He hadn’t told her.
“I need to talk to you,” she said, grabbing Percy’s arm and pulling him down the hallway. Rachel was going to be pissed at her for that, but Annabeth didn’t care. Percy followed along without complaint, not even bothering to shoot Rachel an apologetic look.
The hallway was empty, or as empty as a hallway at a college party could be. The music was loud enough to cover up their conversation, anyway.
“Did you not tell her?” Annabeth asked, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. Percy immediately looked guilty.
“You don’t know that,” he said, as if everything about both of their demeanors hadn’t given it away instantly.
“Of course I do, she wasn’t absolutely furious with me,” Annabeth hissed. Percy looked, if possible, more guilty than before.
“Okay, fine, I didn’t,” he admitted, “But what’s the big deal? It’s not like we did anything.”
And there it was again, those two little words and the way he said them, as if anything happening between the two of them was an impossibility. It felt like a dagger straight to the heart, but Annabeth ignored it.
“I dunno,” Annabeth said, “I mean if I was your girlfriend, I think I would want to know.”
Percy had choked on his drink halfway through her statement, and was already coughing before she could finish it.
“Are you okay?” Annabeth asked, alarmed. Percy just shook his head.
“Fine,” Percy managed to choke out, “I’m fine.”
“Am I going to have to heimlich you again?”
“Hey, you promised you would never bring that up again,” Percy said, pointing an accusing finger at her as he coughed again, clearing his throat a few times for good measure, “Besides, I don’t think it works for soda.”
“Fair. But don’t change the subject.”
“You changed the subject first,” Percy accused, in a not subtle attempt to change the subject once again.
“Because I thought you were choking, dumbass. You have to tell her.”
“Why?” Percy practically whined.
“Because the fact that you don’t want to means you know she’s going to be mad about it,” Annabeth said.
Percy groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall.
“Why are you so smart?” he asked. It sounded like a complaint, even though she knew he didn’t mean it that way. It sure felt that way, though.
“‘Cause one of us has to be,” Annabeth sighed.
If Annabeth were smarter, she would’ve never agreed to spend the night to begin with. But it was way too late for that now.
They went back and joined the group, but Annabeth knew Rachel was staring (bordering on glaring) at her the entire rest of the night. She couldn’t even really blame her. She was going to be a hell of a lot more mad at Annabeth once she found out the reason Annabeth had pulled Percy away to begin with.
The very next day Annabeth was in her dorm room, trying to finish a project for her architecture class. It was due on Monday, but she’d been so distracted the entire week that she’d barely even made a dent in it at all. It wasn’t coming together the way she wanted to and Annabeth was three seconds away from snapping her pencil in half and throwing the whole draft away. Before she could, there was a sharp knock at the door.
Annabeth glanced down at her phone, but she didn’t see any texts. Maybe it was the RA doing an inspection, or maybe Piper had forgotten her key again.
But when Annabeth opened the door, she found Percy standing in the doorway. He spoke before Annabeth could even open her mouth.
“So, I told her,” Percy said, with absolutely no context. He knew she didn’t need it. Annabeth found herself gripping the door so tightly she thought her fingers might break.
“You did? What happened?” Annabeth asked, trying not to sound frantic. Why was he here? Why didn’t he just call her? What if Rachel had made him swear to never talk to her again and he was just here to say goodb--
“She asked me to tell her with 100% certainty that I didn’t have feelings for you,” Percy said, impossibly calm.
If Rachel had asked him that, why was he standing in Annabeth’s doorway?
“And?” Annabeth said, voice small. Her heart was practically pounding out of her chest, but Percy just shrugged.
“And, I couldn’t.”
“You couldn’t?” Annabeth repeated, just to make sure she had heard him correctly.
“Nope,” he said, easily, too easily, “To be honest, I couldn’t even give her like, 1% certainty, but that would’ve felt a little rude to say.”
“So…” Annabeth trailed off. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. It didn’t make sense in her brain. Percy had feelings for her. And he’d broken up with Rachel, which meant— which meant—
“I think now is the part where you tell me if you like me back,” Percy said, interrupting her thoughts. He was smiling though, like he already knew the answer.
Annabeth did not currently have the mental wherewithal to form words. Thankfully her feet did the thinking for her, closing the already small distance between them and kissing him like she’d wanted to do for years.
“So I take it that’s a yes?” he said with a grin, when they finally broke apart. Annabeth was pleased to see he was a little breathless, at least.
“Shut up,” she laughed.
“Gladly,” he said, leaning down to kiss her again.
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renjuseyo · 4 years ago
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can i pls request Lucas x male reader where Lucas is the popular kid and reader is really quiet, but lucas likes reader because of readers personality(not like other guys/girls who tries their best to let them get noticed by lucas) and Lucas always tease and talk to reader because of that. maybe add a scenario where reader gets bullied on why he's dating Lucas and Lucas comes in and comforts reader. Thats all thank you!💖
up to you ; lucas
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group: nct / wayv
pairing: wong yukhei / reader (male)
synopsis: yukhei is your school’s most popular heartthrob, and you’re the quiet wallflower. can things be any more obvious?
genre: fluff
warning: bullying
i hope this satisfies you anon! personally i lost inspo so it’s not that good... i apologize :,) also i just realized how long my fics are, so oops? as always, feedback is greatly appreciated! <3
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you’re in the library shelving piles of books into their respective slots, gently humming to yourself as you drum your fingers on the spine of a book. the library is silent for the most part, save for the low buzz of the fan by the entryway and your soft humming. it’s quiet and cozy, just how you like it.
the quiet ambience is slightly ruined by the loud rattling from the left. it startles you, but luckily you remain your balance and don’t plummet to your demise. when you look towards the source of the noise, you see yukhei standing by the bottom of the ladder, flashing you his signature rectangular grin. “hi (name)!” he chirps, waving at you. a warmth blossoms within you, but the chorus of agitated shushes distracts you. he cowers within himself, sending other students an apologetic look. “sorry,” he whispers.
“i didn’t expect to see you here,” you reply, turning your attention back to the books in your arms. there’s no malicious intent behind your words, because you genuinely would’ve thought he would spend his free period playing basketball with his friends, not in the library.
but he gasps with loud, feigned hurt. “i’m offended! just because i prefer sports over school doesn’t mean i won’t come in and pick up a book every now and then!” another round of shushes ripples throughout the room, though this time they’re paired with irritated glares. you’re among one of them.
“please be quiet, we’re in a library,” you remind him, stepping down a few rungs. he sends you an apologetic look, one that reminds you of a kicked puppy. “if you’re looking to borrow textbooks, the librarian’s up front. if not, you’re welcome to browse through.”
“nah, i already got all of my textbooks. i just came in to see you~” he winks, which you respond with by rolling your eyes. you promptly ignore the butterflies in your stomach. “oh come on, don’t be so mean. why don’t you ever react?”
“why should i? all you ever do is tease me,” you deadpan. you finish categorizing the last book and begin climbing down the ladder to grab a new pile. yukhei seems to notice this, eagerly scooping up a pile to hand to you. it doesn’t quite work out though, because his massive hands accidentally push them to the floor, and he winces, knowing what to expect. along with other disturbed patrons, you glare at him. you bend down to pick up the books, sighing. “you know, you’re lucky i haven’t kicked you out yet.”
“sorry,” he apologizes, sending you a sheepish smile. “sometimes i have no control over this massively tall body. i guess being short like you would be better, huh?”
for your age, you stand at a relatively average height. but yukhei is a little taller than most, standing at six feet. it really isn’t that big of a difference, but he still teases you for it all of the time.
you’re about to retort when you see two figures lurking by the other side of the shelf. you sigh, already knowing what to expect. something like this happens nearly every two days. “two of your so-called fans at nine o’clock.”
yukhei turns to face that direction and the two figures jump in surprise, confirming your suspicions. you see two girls step out from behind the shelf, timidly staring at you two. you recognize one of them, yujin, from your history class. “hi lucas,” the girl greets. it’s the nickname he goes by, the one that everyone is familiar with. you’re one of the few people that uses his real name, though.
you don’t even blink at the lack of acknowledgement. you’ve never really talked to yujin, save for the time she shared her notes with you. a real life saver. “oh hey yujin! is there something you need?” he asks. she looks pleasantly surprised that he remembers her.
you see the girl beside yujin, probably her wing woman, ushering her to hand him what appears to be a letter. not wanting to disturb the love confession that’s to come, you quietly grab the cart of books and roll it away from them. no one seems to notice though; the perks of being a wallflower.
five minutes later, you’re standing behind the counter of the check-out area, helping a few students check out textbooks. “is that everything you need?” you ask, not looking up from the computer screen.
“no, but i’d love to check you out.” you turn your head at the familiar voice and snort upon seeing yukhei.
“that was bad, even for you.”
“the only way you’d notice me,” he shrugs. you notice that he isn’t holding anything in his hands, and from the corner of your eyes you can see yujin and her friend walking towards the exit. judging from the way her friend rubs her shoulders, you can only guess that she’s been rejected like the others.
“you turned her down?” you ask.
yukhei sighs. for someone who receives several confessions, he never looks less guilty when rejecting them. “yujin is really sweet and smart, but i’m only interested in her as a friend. plus, between you and me?” he leans in as if telling you a secret. “i’m pretty sure her friend somi has a thing for her.”
you shake your head in sympathy. poor girl, having to be a wing woman for the girl you like. “well, that sucks.”
he frowns at your curt response, resting his arms on the counter. “you know, we haven’t been friends for very long, yet you never question why i reject everyone.”
you shrug, walking towards the storage room. “you’re just waiting for the right person, because contrary to popular belief, wong yukhei isn’t a heart breaker.”
yukhei can only forlornly watch as you head to the back. “i’ve found the right person, they just haven’t noticed yet,” he mutters.
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if you’re being honest, you don’t quite remember how yukhei entered your life. after all, he’s way ahead in the social spectrum, surrounded by swarms of friends like some enforcer of happiness. on the other hand, you’re on the complete opposite side of that spectrum. you’re the quiet guy who minds your own business, so you don’t have many friends like he does, save for the few close ones you’ve made prior to high school. but one day, like the friendly giant he is, he magically appears by your side, and now his presence fills each of your days.
save for the times he teases you about your height and your personality, yukhei isn’t as bad as kids like you describe. sure, he’s loud and outspoken, every introvert’s nightmare, but he isn’t a jerk or a heart breaker like they whisper about. he’s quite the opposite, actually, his personality similar to a golden retriever. the way others perceive him never gets less funny for you. you’ve personally seen him get his nose stuck in a coat hanger before; how in the world does a klutz like him scream heart breaker material?
you’ve only known him for half a year, yet you feel like you’ve known him since childhood. he’s never quiet about his life, and he always seems genuinely interested in you. naturally, like the fool you are, you found yourself inevitably falling for him. it’s not like things will go your way - yukhei is at the center of the school’s attention, meaning he’s surrounded by plenty of suitors. it’s so cliche you’d laugh - the quiet guy pining over the school’s heart throb - but truthfully, you’d rather watch him excitedly talk about his interests or do anything that elicits a smile from him. you’ll have plenty of time to laugh later, anyways.
when you enter the cafeteria, you scan the cliques assembled at each table, looking for your own little group made up of you, mark, renjun, and donghyuck. it’s a mix of different personalities with even more different interests, but sharing the cast roles of trees in the third grade goes a long way.
your sight is quickly obscured by two massive hands, and you sigh, recognizing the cold feeling of a ring against your face. “guess who?” a voice above you sings.
“what are you doing here?” you ask. you quickly regain your sight as the hands slink away, and you turn around to face a smiling yukhei.
“here to grab food just like everyone else,” he answers, ruffling your hair. he laughs when he sees you try to remove his hand from your hair, yours impossibly small compared to his. “is this bothering you, tiny terror?” he teases.
“seriously?”
“sorry, did you say something? you’re a little too quiet.”
to a bystander, it would look like yukhei, the tall, popular kid, was bullying you, the average quiet wallflower. but your friendship all began with this “teasing”, so you don’t really mind anymore.
before you can say anything, you hear a crowd of guys headed your way. you take that as your cue to leave, removing his hand from your hair. luckily, you finally see your friends at a table at the other side of the room. “i’m going to go now. bye,” you say. before you get a response, you slink away from him.
as you slide in a seat beside mark, you catch renjun and donghyuck eyeing you with interest. you’ve known them long enough to know that look means trouble - specifically from renjun and donghyuck. mark is never a part of their schemes, wanting nothing more than a peaceful day. “can i help you?” you ask, leaning down to steal a fry from mark, who shrieks in protest.
"so, you and yukhei?” renjun gives you a knowing look, while mark gives you an apologetic one. you feel like you’ve just jumped straight into a trap.
“we’re friends. what about it?” you ask, taking more of mark’s food. at this point, he’s given up on fending it from your hands.
“he’s in denial,” donghyuck whispers, though you hear it loud and clear. “dude, he gives you heart eyes when you do so much as breathe. how does it feel, having a heart throb like him wrapped around your finger?”
the thought is baffling; you, having yukhei wrapped around your finger? “no comment because i don’t.” renjun and donghyuck boo at your comment. “enough with that nonsense already. we’re just friends. plus, i’m not going to swoon over him-”
“-like everyone else in the building?” mark finishes, pointing his head forward. you look up, and unsurprisingly, a swarm of people surround yukhei, and he’s eagerly chatting with them, probably thriving from the attention. you swear you see a glimpse of yet another letter from a guy you recognize from your biology class, but with so many people it’s hard to tell.
“you know, i don’t understand how people perceive him as a heart breaker. he’s like a clumsy puppy with too much energy for his own good,” you comment, munching on a fry.
“maybe because you’re one of the few people who actually know him well enough to determine that?” mark suggests. “he gets along with everyone, but he tails you like a puppy all of the time. it’s no wonder you know him well.”
you shrug. “maybe if he teased other people all the time, they’d probably get to know him better, too. apparently that’s how people befriend others these days.”
they all exchange a knowing look before staring at you. “riiight. because he teases everyone he wants to befriend. not because, you know, he’s interested in them,” renjun remarks.
you stare at yukhei for a little longer until he looks up and sees you. he frantically waves with a large grin, and you can’t help the small smile that forms on your lips as you wave back. when your hand falls and you go back to eating mark’s food, you shrug. “right.”
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something you find odd about your schedule is how you have pe right after lunch. do teachers seriously think it’s a good idea to have students running laps right after eating? that only calls for disaster. it’s something you complain about every now and then to donghyuck, seeing how he’s the only person you can talk to.
“i heard we’re doing the mile run today,” donghyuck shares.
you groan, walking beside him. “i don’t care how many times we do it. i will never not complain about it. what makes him think running’s fun?”
“i don’t know, i think running’s pretty great,” a voice chimes. you don’t need to turn around to guess who it is, but you do anyways. unsurprisingly, yukhei’s right beside you, grinning his signature smile.
“easy for you to say. you’re built like a greek god and you have abnormally long legs. you’re like... a spider.”
yukhei chooses to ignore your comparison about the spider, instead beaming. “you think i’m built like a greek god?”
what a way to feed into his ego. “i take it back.”
he visibly deflates, pouting. “what! you can’t take it back, (name)! don’t hurt me like that!”
you’re about to retort back when donghyuck taps your shoulder. “lucas, (name), hi. i’d hate to bother your flirting session, so i’m going to bother yangyang now.”
“we’re not-” the words are barely out of your mouth before he slinks away from you two, but not before throwing up finger guns at you. you’re left alone with yukhei, who shoots you a cheeky wink.
the five minutes it takes for you to walk to the track field quickly goes by, having spent it conversing with yukhei. your teacher tasks everyone to partner up for the mile run, and your instincts are telling you to go to donghyuck, who’s been your partner each time. but then you see him approach yangyang with an intention in his eyes and you decide to go against it. the only other friend you have in this class would be...
you turn around to look for yukhei, but he’s no longer by your side, instead being encompassed by several guys. he doesn’t quite meet their gaze though, eyes flickering to you. he’s obviously occupied. to your dismay, there are no other options left, and you’d rather die than talk to other people.
someone taps your shoulder and you jump so high that even the perpetrator seems startled. you fearfully stiffen, contemplating the dozen methods of running away, but when you turn around, you visibly relax. it’s hendery, one of your classmates. you don’t know him too well, but you share most of your classes together. “hey (name), you still looking for a partner?” he asks.
“yeah, i am. are you?" of course he’s looking for a partner. why else would he approach you? great. now he’s going to think you’re weird, and then you’re not going to have a-
“perfect, so am i! do you want to run first, or should i?” he flashes you a smile that eases your nerves, and the butterflies in your stomach still.
“i don’t have a preference.”
“okay, then i’ll go first. be sure to keep a good eye on me, okay?” he sends you a flirty wink, and you’re taken aback by the sudden motion, lightly blushing. he seems to notice this, too, grinning at your silence. “i’ve been told i’m a good runner. i hope i impress you~”
your mind is running faster than your body could ever, still trying to process hendery’s boldness. “oh. well, i bet you’re far better than me. i’m not a good runner,” you awkwardly laugh.
it’s only been a few minutes, but you find yourself pleasantly surprised to become acquainted with hendery, though it’s mainly hendery doing the talking since you’re not quite out of your shell yet. in the five minutes you’ve known him, you learn that he’s the captain of the track team and strangely enough, really likes hot dogs. you go through the five stages of regret upon learning this, because your running won’t even begin to compare to his. but he gently assures you it isn’t a big deal, even patting your shoulder.
you decide that hendery’s ability to put people at ease is incredible, because you’re too absorbed with his presence to notice the look yukhei sends from afar.
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after that, you and hendery quickly befriended each other. your relationship kind of reminds you of your’s with yukhei because of how different you are, but unlike him, he doesn’t tease you all of the time. you’re not sure how to feel when you find yourself missing it.
on the bright side, he’s a great friend to hang out with when others are busy. renjun and donghyuck have volleyball practice? you go to the arcade with hendery. mark has speech and debate? you get tacos with hendery. yukhei is busy... being the social butterfly he is? you go over to hendery’s house. your increase in hangouts has definitely made your friends suspicious, with donghyuck going as far as accusing you of cheating on yukhei, whatever that means. it’s not like you two are dating, anyways.
(the thought reminds you just how impossible the concept is, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t bothered by it.)
your third period is when you act as mrs. choi’s library assistant. you’re sitting by the counter, flipping through the latest issue of haikyu!! when you hear footsteps approach you. having to act like the responsible assistant, you quickly tuck the book away, but not fast enough judging from hendery’s smirk. “so mr. studious isn’t quite so studious, is he?” he asks.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shrug. “anyways, what are you doing here? do you have a free period like-” you quickly stop in your tracks. the name stands at the tip of your tongue, but for some reason, a part of you tells you not to say it.
thankfully he doesn’t question your abrupt pause. “no, i have math. pauses for boos,” he sighs. “anyways, can you check this out for me?” he slides a thick textbook your direction.
“sure. student id?” you go through the procedure of checking out his book, which doesn’t take long. “okay, you’re good to go.”
he doesn’t immediately leave though, eyes never leaving your frame. “(name)?”
you pull out your book, flipping back to the page you were on. “yeah?” there’s a pause, which is unlike hendery. from what you know, he’s confident and doesn’t take breaks, which makes you look up from your book. he looks almost... nervous? “are you okay?”
he pauses to take a deep breath, and you’re suddenly embracing for something serious. “would you go on a d-”
“hey (name), hendery! what a coincidence seeing you here!”
you look behind hendery and is surprised to see yukhei approach you with a strained smile. you’ve been hanging out with hendery so much that you haven’t seen yukhei in a while, aside from your shared classes.
at this point, the other patrons in the library have already gotten used to his loud voice, and seeing how you never once kicked him out, they stopped shushing him altogether. “it isn’t a coincidence, yukhei. you know i’m here during third period.” you squint at his appearance. he looks stiff, sweaty even. “are you okay?”
hendery looks like he knows something you don’t, glaring at yukhei. “we’re in a library, or have you forgotten?” there’s an obvious bite in his words, one that shocks you. you had no idea they didn’t like each other, but seeing their mutual glares, it’s kind of obvious now.
“sorry, i had to get my point across,” yukhei responds. he turns to face you, and his smile quickly fades into one of genuine. “hey (name), can i talk to you about something?” he turns to give hendery the stink eye. “in private?”
“he can’t abandon his responsibility as mrs. choi’s assistant, much less for you,” hendery snaps.
okay, you’re really missing something big here. in an attempt to clear the tense atmosphere, you clear your throat. “can it wait...” you glance at the clock. “five minutes? mrs. choi should be back then.”
yukhei nods, giving hendery a triumphant smirk. “of course.”
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five minutes later, mrs. choi comes back, allowing you to slink into the empty hallway with yukhei. “before you tell me what you need to tell me- what the hell was that?”
he gives you an oblivious look. “what was what?”
“the tension between you and hendery!” you exclaim. “you two looked like you were going to shoot each other had i not been there.”
he looks genuinely surprised that you noticed. what does he take you for, a dunce? “oh, that? we’ve never really gotten along... but recently, we found out we both like the same person, so that kind of worsened things.”
you nod, though the thought of yukhei finding his right person surprises you, and a small part feels a little disappointed. rightfully so, because not only is it not you, but because he didn’t bother telling you! “you finally found the right person for you?”
“for a while now, actually,” he corrects. now you’re even more surprised; yukhei found someone he liked and hadn’t once told you? the betrayal! “i just haven’t been able to tell them.”
“well, who is it?” you sigh, shaking your head. “you had all of these chances to tell me, and you didn’t even try? i’m disappointed.” technically he would be saving you from heartbreak by not telling you, but that’s beside the point.
“well, that would ruin the surprise then. i was planning on confessing,” he explains, giving you a cheeky smile.
this is fine, this is fine... except it’s not, you mentally narrate. you’re already flashing him a strained smile. “when?” you ask.
yukhei’s smile never once fades, and you’re tempted to wipe it off his face. “right now.” he sweeps his arm in a flourish. “i like you, (name) (last name).”
a pause. you’re frozen in your spot, replaying his words in your head.
i like you, (name) (last name).
this must be some sort of fever dream. or an elaborate prank; you frantically look around for someone to jump out in front of you, camera in hand. but to your shock, you’re still wearing clothes, and no one jumps out. “did i hear that right?” you gawk.
yukhei’s still grinning; your shocked look seems to satisfy him. “i like you. you’re the person i was talking about.”
you’ve been duped - bamboozled! “am i dreaming?”
he laughs, ruffling your hair. “this is very much real, cutie. do you want me to kiss you to prove it?” you visibly flush, hiding your face behind your hands. he’s always teased you, but this it the first time he’s really flirted like this. has he been holding back on your account? he peels your hands off your face, cooing at how red you are. “may i ask for your answer?”
your face is still warm, eyes refusing to meet his. he’s holding your hands, and it feels like he’s holding your heart in them, too. “why?” you’re not asking this because of your insecurities, but because you’re genuinely curious. if he’s shown signs that he likes you, he’s done a great job at making it subtle. 
(yukhei’s definitely not subtle though, which means you probably didn’t notice because you’re just that dense.)
“i like your personality,” he begins. “you’re a breath of fresh air among the familiar, the quiet in my loud. i think we fit really well. plus, teasing you is a bonus, seeing you get all bothered.” he caresses your hands, and you’re suddenly keenly aware of where you two are. “you know, i would’ve made things more extravagant, but hendery was going to sweep you off your feet, so i had to make things quick.”
wait, hendery likes you too? then at the library... this feels like a wattpad fanfic. but instead of pondering on that, you roll your eyes. “even if he said anything, i wouldn’t have accepted.”
his face contorts to one of surprise, but it takes him a few seconds to understand the implications behind your comment. “does that mean you like me, too?” he hums, eyes twinkling in delight.
you hate feeding into his ego, but you decide right now is an exception. “maybe.”
you immediately regret it though, seeing him grin like the cheshire cat. you’re never going to hear the end of it now. “i even managed to woo you with my charms, huh?”
“shut up.”
“with your lips? because i’d love that.” he leans down, batting his eyelashes, and you’re heating up all over again. at first, you take it as another one of his flirty remarks, but the look he gives you is a silent question of consent. it reminds you of how no matter how much he teases you, he would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, never do anything without permission.
there are several thoughts swirling in your head and many things you need to discuss with yukhei. how will the general public react learning about this? will you be harassed by his hoard of fans? will things even work? but instead, you grab his hand and begin walking to a secluded part of the wing. ignoring the what-if’s is very unlike you, but you have more important matters to tend to. “we have to talk about this later.”
yukhei can only hum in agreement as your breath fans over his lips.
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as mentioned earlier, yukhei isn’t subtle at all, so it’s no surprise that soon the whole school finds out about your relationship. you can’t be mad at him though, because he really did try. but then he accidentally let it slip during basketball practice, bragging about how you were an amazing kisser. you can’t really be mad at his comment, anyways.
to your dismay, your popularity has soared being yukhei’s boyfriend. you much prefer the times when people had to ask for your name again, because now they all label you as lucas’s boyfriend. like, you have a name. plus, high school students are incredibly nosy. but people are nice, for the most part.
needless to say, your friends had a field day with you upon hearing the news. apparently renjun and donghyuck had made bets on you, to which the former had triumphed. mark simply congratulated you as he struggled to stop the two from fighting each other.
to your surprise, hendery had approached you and congratulated you two on the manner. he ruffled your hair and told you that he’s always available if you ever choose to drop yukhei, to which the latter responded by lunging at him. you didn’t have time to question hendery about the events in the library from the past week, having to stop your boyfriend from fighting him.
your days at school have certainly become livelier. for starters, yukhei has become much more open about expressing affection, though the displays in public are nothing compared to in private. his friends were also quick to introduce themselves to you, even going as far as stealing you from him. you’re pretty sure you’ve become an honorary member of the basketball team now. things have seemed to calm down now, though your friends still tease your relationship every now and then. you try to go by your day with minimal interaction as usual, save for yukhei and your friends.
today was supposed to be your free day, but mrs. choi had called you asking if you could finish up things in the library, having to leave early for a doctor’s appointment. like the kind assistant you were, you had accepted with no hesitation, finishing up her tasks. however, you did feel like you were forgetting something important.
you’ve just finished shelving the final textbook when you hear footsteps approach you. you turn your head, expecting to see the janitor, but you’re startled to come face-to-face with a guy. judging from the threatening look on his face, you can tell you’re in for an unpleasant conversation. and if that’s the case, it’s probably because of yukhei.
with his popularity and your relationship, it isn’t surprising that there were a few that weren’t too happy to see you together. he isn’t some object that wannabe teenagers have ownership over. however, many are yet to grasp that concept. “how can i help you?” you politely ask.
you barely have any time to blink before you’re being pushed against the bookshelf, trapped in between his arms. this feels like a showdown between the love interest and the wannabe, the latter fighting for the affections of the male lead. “listen up, (last name),” the guy snarls. “you better stay away from lucas. you don’t deserve him.”
under normal circumstances, you would be terrified. but apparently you have a death wish, saying, “and you do?”
you close your eyes, bracing for a fist to your face, but surprisingly, it never comes. you squeak an eye open to see him looking down at you with a smirk. “whatever he sees in you, it won’t be there long. did he ever tell you how much he hates boring people?”
usually jerks like him don’t bother you, but... boring? you may be quiet, but you don’t think you’re that boring... right? the stranger releases his hold on you. before he can say any more, the library doors swing open, and like some knight in shining armor, there stands yukhei who looks out of breath. “(name)? hyunjung?”
you two are lucky he didn’t see your position earlier, otherwise it would beg for some unpleasant questions. “hi lucas,” hyunjung politely greets, doing a quick bow. a complete 180 from his personality from earlier. “i was just leaving.”
yukhei nods as hyunjung walks away from you two. he approaches you, pouting. “i was looking all over for you! did you forget about our date today?”
oh, so that’s what you were forgetting. you absentmindedly nod, still thinking of hyunjung’s words from earlier. “oh, sorry.”
he must sense some hostility in you, because he gently grabs your shoulders. “hey, are you okay? you look a little shaken up.”
usually you bottle up your worries; when they overfill, you shove them down even further. but yukhei is the complete opposite, so open about himself like he has nothing to hide. perhaps it’s because you spend so much time with him that his candid tendencies have rubbed onto you. “are you sure you’re okay with this?” you ask.
he tilts his head in confusion. “okay with what?”
you shrug, trying to show hyunjung’s words didn’t bother you as much as it had. “dating me?”
instantly he narrows his eyes, tightening his grip. “did- did hyunjung say something to make you think that way? is that why he came in here?” he protectively wraps his arms around you. “remind me to give him a lesson next time.” you snort; yukhei can’t even hurt a fly. if he does, it’s unintentional, and he always screams at the realization.
“i mean, i usually don’t listen to jerks like that, but-” you pause to gesture at yourself. “i’m your polar opposite, and as funny i think i am, i’m pretty quiet and boring. plus, you hate boring people, or at least people too stuck up for their own good.”
yukhei musters all of the sincerity in his eyes. “but that’s what makes us work so well, (name). i think i’m really cool and nice and all-” you snort at the comment. while all of those adjectives are true, it doesn’t make it less funnier, seeing how much confidence he has. “but i also have my flaws. i can be hotheaded, and i’m bad at saying no. but you help balance them out. you keep me leveled, and you’re always firm about what you want. plus, i help balance your flaws, too; we just work like that.” he squishes your cheeks together, eliciting a sound of protest from you. “if i don’t have a problem with a cutie like you, they shouldn’t, either.”
“some have yet to grasp the concept of treating you like a taken man,” you answer, though it comes out muffled. he giggles at the acknowledgement, leaning down to peck your nose. a garbled noise leaves your throat, and you close your eyes in embarrassment.
“maybe i should show them just how taken i am,” he hums. he promptly removes his hands from your face and wraps an arm around your shoulder. “how about we start by going on our date?”
despite how simple his resolution seems, you know you and yukhei will have another deeper discussion about today’s events. whereas he likes solving things with cuddles and kisses, you like to do it with deep conversations. that can wait for now. “let me lock up first. we’re getting food, right?”
when you look up at him, you suddenly realize what donghyuck meant when he said yukhei looks at you with heart eyes. the look he gives you is so sweet you feel like you’re getting cavities. it’s so endearing you nearly forget all of your insecurities, only focusing on how much he seems to adore you. he always seems to know what to do when you’re in a slump. “of course! gotta feed the cutie here,” he answers, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head.
you roll your eyes with a laugh, though you sneakily wrap your fingers with his. you’ll have plenty of time to repay the favor later.
216 notes · View notes
junicai · 4 years ago
Text
Relationship with SuperM
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➣ BAEKHYUN ☾ baekaria
before being thrown into a supergroup together, aria and baekhyun hadn’t really spoken 
they’d seen each other around the building, and aria was an avid supporter of exo so of course she knew who he was but she wasn’t expecting him to know who she was 
so when aria walked into the practice room and was greeted by baekhyun waving her over and calling her name
sue her if she was a little stunned 
their relationship was a little stilted at the beginning
between the age gap, and baekhyun not having a girl member in a group before, it took a few weeks for the two of them to figure out their dynamic and where they fit around each other 
eventually though
they settled into a pretty comfortable situation
baekhyun tries to put her at ease as much as possible 
there is 8 years in the difference, but you’d swear that its less than half 
although he’s playful and generous with the teasing like he is to other members 
he’s careful to avoid certain topics when it comes to aria, just out of respect for her and not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable
this came to fruition after kai unknowingly made a small comment on how aria “must have been hungry”, considering how fast she was eating
baekhyun knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but he watched aria slowly put down her chopsticks and reach for the bottle of water beside her instead
he didn’t see her eat for the rest of the evening
did kai get in trouble? no but he did get hit lightly over the head
when aria does something cool - like a spin or a trick - baekhyun is the first to say “that’s my child. i raised her, look how well i taught her” 
ten: “heY-”
tldr: although they’re not the closest, aria’s slowly grown more comfortable around him, and he’s looking out for her all the time 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
200829 Knowing Brothers: when baekhyun brought up the members of superm all showering together to get closer quickly, heechul quickly pounced on aria - the girl slowly moving to put her head in her hands. 
“and where was aria during all of this? don’t tell me you brought her to?”
baekhyun: “well of course we did-” 
aria: “NO I STAYED OUTSIDE HE’S A LIAR DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!”
*cue baekhyun laughing his ass off*
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➣ TAEMIN ☾ arimin
aria thought she was going to die
there was absolutely no plausible reason that she should be in a group with The Taemin
he was highkey the reason why she had even accepted her position in sm at the very beginning of her training
this man convinced a fifteen year old to give up the sport she’d been doing her entire life 
his impact  (*¯ ³¯*)♡
please stand by while aria tosses herself off a bridge
she was So Formal at the beginning
he honestly was the member she took the longest time to warm up to - because she had idolized him for so long
will still refer to him as taemin-ssi occasionally, but now its less a formality and more of a tease
this boy was shook when he found out how young aria was - mark and lucas he can deal with because at least they’re 1999, but aria....
“2000??? 2000?” 
he said :O
despite their rocky start, they’re quite comfortable around each other, especially after spending a few nights rooming together over the tour
does aria still look for his validation in a lot of her work? yes, but she’s more open about asking for it now then she would have been 
taemin definitely doesn’t have a favourite kid and it’s definitely not aria no why would you think that
aria really out here collecting parents like pokémon 
gotta catch em all~
he looks out for her a lot during their schedules, mainly because he knows what its like to be the youngest in a group and how it can feel a little like you don’t really have a place there
so he always makes sure to include her where possible 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
sitting in a circle in a waiting room while mark toy-ed around with the guitar in his lap, aria sat curled in the corner, humming lightly to herself as taemin sang softly along with mark playing “view”.
quietly, she began to sing soft backing harmonies along with taemin, her eyes still attached to her phone in her hands.
when she felt the device being tugged out of her hands and her being pulled upright by another hand on her arm, she looked up to see taemin smiling brightly, still singing 
cue the impromptu concert of a lifetime: with god tier vocals
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➣ KAI ☾ kairia
so, they met
and kai just kinda went: mine.
and that was that really 
its like a puppy refusing to give up its favourite chew toy 
“nooo but its my turn to room with aria :(”
never really did the whole awkward, getting to know each other phase? 
not that aria had any real say in it
but jongin point blank refused to engage in small talk with her
so they ended up spending their nights on the superm tour talking about stuff ranging from why the sky is blue to why aria stopped ice skating
she started crying and he did not handle it well, bless him
although he’s super chill and fun to be around
he’s also the only non-nct member that seriously scolds her 
when he found her in a practice room lying on the ground (she was Resting, thank you very much) at three in the morning, he dragged her out without a word and brought her back to her dorms in silence 
aria knew he was mad at her, but she thought it was because he had to borderline carry her four blocks down to the nct dorms 
“no you idiot, im angry because you thought that instead of coming to one of us for help with the bits you’re struggling with, you figured hey. let’s pass out instead.” 
he’s so affectionate with her
you know how lucas and kai have Intense Brothers Energy
well aria has that, little sister vibe that makes kai want to wrap her in a blanket and carry her everywhere
she’d hate that, if he tried that she’d scream (he did try that, this is coming from past experience)
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
kai chucking aria like a cannon ball into the pool during the filming of mtopia when she refused his hugs.
“oppa, oppa no im sorry ill give you all the hugs you want, oppa, JONGIN-OPPA NO NO NO NO -”
*sploosh*
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➣ TAEYONG ☾ ariyong
taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally but he would if he could)
eomma meets highly protective brother meets life coach type beat?
so so soft for her its sickening 
says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet
when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong 
she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training 
because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong
whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to do so
“please? i don’t like it.” “*gasp* how dare you.”
sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late!
he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be
he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)
taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip her intentionally 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 
taeyong had just been awarded the single bedroom on the last night of the mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun, looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly. 
“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..”
baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while the edited captions on the video appeared with the words, “a cute maknae asking to room with a younger member..”
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➣ TEN ☾ tenaria
Whipped™
so so gone for her its upsetting actually
yangyang and aria share the position of his baby
except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop
ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria
he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right…(눈_눈)”
such an enabler for her bad ideas
aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream
pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day
when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket
its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost
he just wants to hold her hand
yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault
ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby
“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ノಥ益ಥ)ノ”
if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor
hugs n kithes all around
only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing
anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby
sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her.
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➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei
besties
please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(
bear hugs
he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up
complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball
someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll
singular braincell energy
don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart
so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it
she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour
so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day
lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back
nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria”
and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her
lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys
he’s so proud of her
and she’s so proud of him
they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together
sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 
“luc-LUCAS?”
“you had to move :)”
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➣ MARK ☾ mari
½ of the best friend crew
honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny
but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable
you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)
mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible
kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired
mari being confused in foreigner: ???
aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while
aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?”
you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions
mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi
they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )
in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile™
he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it”
when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself
consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc.
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합… 結合….. le chéile…. le… le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”
and thus, a new confusion meme was born
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sour-n-salty-citrus · 3 years ago
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Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.
(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)
Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.
/ / /
There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.
And that brings me to the finale.
"Who is Rick without Morty?"
Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.
This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?
No one.
And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.
The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.
(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).
Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.
Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.
Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D
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maysbanks · 5 years ago
Text
are you bored yet. (jj maybank)
hey everyone ! basically this is my first time writing for jj, or anyone from obx in general. this is a side acc from my main acc that i made purely bc this fic idea came to me when watching obx and after listening to the wallows on repeat for weeks. idk i just thought the song was kinda fitting for jj, and im a sucker for soft ! jj with a friends to lovers arc, so here this is. it's quite a long one btw, the words just kept flowing so i apologise in advance. also i have a few more fic ideas based off some songs so if you like this and are interested in more pls let me know ! im probably gonna be writing a lot more for this boy bc i adore him. anyways i hope u enjoy !
warnings: features swearing, mention of sex, underage drinking, drug use and violence.
summary: based lightly off the song 'are you bored yet?' by the wallows ft clairo, reader and jj delve deeper into their relationship, taking the steps further into becoming something more than best friends. however worries and doubts begin to plague their minds, as they fear their relationship of becoming just a memory.
( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )
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"What are you doing later?" You looked towards Kie who'd directed the question towards you, her eyes squinting from the sun that was grinning down at your forms from where you were both seated on the sand.
"Dunno," you shrugged your shoulders. "Probably hanging out with J or something."
Kiara scoffed, a mocking look taking over the features of her face as her head turned towards yours, your eyebrows raising at the sly smirk on her lips. "What?" You questioned, narrowing your eyes when all she did was laugh. You shifted in your place, body moving from laying on your back to on your stomach, figuring it was about time to switch positions for your tan anyway. "Seriously Kie, what're you laughing about?"
She shifted along with you, only laying on her right side so she could face you head on, her hand propping her head up from the ground. She was still grinning. "JJ," she said simply. You raised your eyebrows at her once more, seemingly not understanding what she was trying to get at. "What's going on with you two?" Kie pushed on when you didn't respond, her own eyebrows inching further up her forehead.
In the distance you could hear the boys' screams, their commotion coming from the water you had passed on entering. You could hear JJ taunting John B from where you lay, Pope laughing along, and the splashes that you could only assume were also coming from them. You never spared them a glance, though from the corner of your eye could see their figures and indeed the loud splashes of water were coming from them, and you were certain JJ was holding John B underneath the water.
"Nothing's going on," you said in response to Kie's question, rolling your eyes playfully at her exclaim of 'oh c'mon!'. "What? It's the truth. Nothing is going on, not really."
Kie furrowed her brows. "What do you mean by 'not really'? Did something happen between you two?" She prodded.
You shrugged, because in all honesty you couldn't say much of anything about your relationship with JJ. You were just as unsure about it all as Kie and more than likely the rest of the gang were (because if Kie had picked up on it than surely Pope and John B had too, and you were kind of freaking about it.) and had no idea what to say in her line of questioning. Of course you wanted to talk about it, you and the Pogues never kept secrets from each other - but was it really a secret when they technically knew about it anyway, and was it really a secret when you and JJ hadn't even spoken about keeping it a secret too? Your mind raced, and you figured it was easier to just shrug it off for the time being. Kie would no doubt ask again, and you hoped you had the answers by the next time she (or someone else) would.
"He's my best friend," you'd decided on saying. From the corner of your eye, you could see the guys approaching. "We've been close since we were like, ten. We've always been the same."
Except now the two of you held hands under the table and kissed in the safety of your rooms, among other things. That part of your relationship was fairly new though, and so you decided against saying anything until you could work out exactly what was going on between you and JJ - because you had no clue, and weren't even sure that JJ knew himself. It just sort of happened, the line being crossed over from friends to lovers in the blink of an eye. One minute you'd never dare to give in to the temptation of JJ Maybank's heavenly sinful lips, and the next the pair of you were sharing a bed almost every night.
Nothing much had changed though, in regards to your friendship. JJ and you had always been close, always intimate in your touches. Always beside each other, rarely without the other. You were an unstoppable duo from the minute you met. Just somehow, along the line, over the years, your friendship had turned into more. Each touch became longer, each glance would linger, and something had shifted. It was inevitable, you supposed. Nobody was ever really that close with someone without feelings getting involved at some point.
The guys were a lot closer now, and Kie spared them a glance before looking back towards you. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two do." Was all she said before the sun that was earlier shining down on you was blocked by the trio of tall guys that smiled at the pair of you. Kie sat up, smiling as Pope took a seat beside her on her towel. "Have fun out there?"
"Oh, tons," came the voice that belonged to the person you were talking about not a minute ago. JJ smirked down at you, blonde hair dripping wet on his forehead and golden tanned chest on full show. You admired the view behind your sunglasses and sent a grin in his direction when he seemed to notice. "You checking me out there, babe?"
You laughed as he did a little shimmy, rolling your eyes as you looked at him over the rim of your glasses. "What would you do if I was, Maybank?" You played along, smirking when you heard John B let out a gag from somewhere beside you. JJ smiled back, and squatting down in front of your form he'd grabbed hold of your feet, laughing when you squealed. Tugging so that you were laying on your back rather than your front, his sea blue eyes gazed down your body, unknowingly leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The feeling you shared with JJ was unlike any other, nothing or nobody could come close to topping it. It was unexplainable, the feeling of absolute longing for him to just be there forever. You couldn't ever imagine a life without him in it, and that thought both scared and excited you.
JJ stared down at you, tongue peeking from his mouth to wet his pink lips as he looked. You felt hot all over and you knew it wasn't because of the sun. "Things only you could imagine sweetheart," he taunted from above you, knowing fine well that what you could imagine he'd probably already done to you. You smirked back, feeling a thrill shoot through you because the pair of you knew this and the remaining three of your group had no idea, or so you believed. This new relationship, this unspoken thing between the two of you was simply yours, and somewhere in the future you feared you'd both come to regret it, whatever it was, but in the moments of the present you knew neither of you could find it in yourselves to actually care.
And so you both smiled at each other like the world around you didn't exist, and for a couple of seconds you could pretend it didn't, JJ moving so he was seated behind you with your body seated between his legs and your back against his chest. Sat there, surrounded by your friends though almost oblivious to their presence as JJ's hands rested on your skin, his breath on your neck. You leaned into him, and smiled when he placed a discreet kiss to your shoulder.
Locking eyes with him, you grinned. The burst of happiness and content when he grinned back was almost unbearable, and in that moment you knew you never wanted whatever it was that you two shared to end.
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It was a few days later when JJ showed up at your window, his face bloody and bruised, his form weak as he pulled himself into your bedroom. You didn't need to ask twice about who'd caused the damage, your body and mind going into autopilot as you hurried from your bed and grabbed hold of him, JJ grunting as he fell into you, his hand clutching desperately at his side.
"Shit, JJ," you'd cursed as you helped him land on your bed, hands instantly grabbing at his face and assessing the damage that had been left by his father. There was cuts along his brow line, his eye was bruised and already swollen shut, his bottom lip bust open and oozing blood. Your thumbs swiped along his cheeks, being careful of the injuries, and you felt tears pricking at your eyes at the sight of him. You blinked them away as quickly as you could, he didn't need to see you being so upset in that moment. And besides, you had bigger issues like getting him cleaned up like you had done too many times before. "Stay here, okay. I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."
JJ only grunted, and you pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to get the kit, your mind reeling. It was no secret about JJ's father and his years of abuse towards his own son, and you'd seen him beaten so badly so many times before, but it never got any easier. Each time it happened JJ would wound up at your house, and each time you would clean him up, making sure his wounds were tended to and making him as comfortable as possible as he slept next to you, most nights with his head resting on your chest as you soothed him to sleep with whispers of reassurance that you were there and that you loved him. He would fall asleep with tears staining his cheeks and you would cry yourself to sleep afterwards too, wishing that could just take away all his pain, wishing that you could do more, wishing that JJ had a better life than what he was given, because there was no-one that deserved it more.
You sniffed and forced your tears away, trying to focus on the task at hand. It didn't take long to locate the first aid kit and within a minute you were back in your bedroom, where JJ lay, staring up at your ceiling with his chest moving up and down in a motion that proved he was trying to hold his own tears in. Your heart broke at the sight, and you bit down on your wobbling lip as you moved towards him. His eyes met yours when you were close enough, stood in front of him on your bed. You smiled softly.
"Hey, honey," you soothed as he slowly sat up, grimacing at the obvious pain from his side as he did so. Despite his pain, he smirked back at you.
"Hi, baby."
Stepping closer, effectively between his legs, you smiled as his hands wound around and grabbed at your legs, almost as if he was grounding himself, focusing all his attention onto you. You took a moment to take him in as you pressed the wet rag you'd also grabbed on his face, beginning to clean the cut on his eyebrow. It wasn't too deep, thank god, you thought. You feared for the day where one cut might be too deep and one blow too strong, and the thought of JJ, strong and hot headed and impulsive and passionate, might not being able to drag himself out of the house of hell and getting to anyone for help, to you, to John B, to Pope or Kie, scared the shit out of you to put it simply. JJ was so strong, but there was only so much he could take, and you dreaded the day when that would come. You could only hope it never, and in the meantime do your best to prevent it. You let out a shaky breath as you continued to clean the blood from his face, gently dabbing at his torn lip as he hissed. "I'm sorry hon," you murmured, feeling your gut twist at the sight of him in pain.
"I'm okay," he breathed out, only it was shaky and you both knew it to be a lie. You said nothing though, not wanting to start an argument that night. You'd had countless in situations like these, where you'd tell him he needs to get away from his dad and he'd tell you its not that easy and that nothing fucking is on this island, and you'd try and tell him you understand that but you hate seeing him like that, beaten to a pulp, sometimes barely even able to move, and that you were scared to lose him. He'd tell you that you were too good for him, you deserved better, you deserved more, and you'd cry and tell him to shut up, that he was your best friend and all you ever needed and you'd always be there for him, and he would shake his head and deny it all with tears streaming down both your faces until you collapsed into each other and fell asleep with your limbs intertwined whatever mood you'd gone to sleep in. There was something about that night that told you not to argue, not to push him, just clean him up and hold him and let him know that he wasn't alone in this world. His eyes met yours once more. "I'm okay." He repeated, as if you hadn't heard him the first time.
All you could do was nod, and wiping the last bit of blood from his face, you quickly went over the cuts with disinfectant, JJ's grip tightening on the backs of your legs as you continued to tend to every last bit of him. Finishing on his face, you placed a kiss on each and every cut, bruise or scrape that was etched into his skin. He let out a shaky breath, one hand moving up and landing on your back, rubbing up and down as his forehead rested on your shoulder. Running your own hands through his blonde locks, you pressed your nose to the top of his head as you held him close to you. It wasn't long before you felt the tears soak through the material of your shirt (which was technically JJ's shirt, but that didn't matter much.) and his body started to shake against your own, chest heaving and hands shaking.
"I hate him," you heard him mutter. You closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around him tighter, one hand clutching the back of his neck as the other rubbed soothing patterns onto his back. JJ shook against you, hands clutching onto the sides of your shirt as his lips brushed against the side of your neck as he let out a sob. "I just - I fucking hate him! Why does he do this, why does he -? Why, why, why?"
He was muttering the word over and over again, all sense of himself lost as he sobbed into your neck. In that moment, you felt so useless, so powerless, and you knew that JJ did too. You wished you could take away all his pain, make him see that he was so loved, that you loved him entirely and surely, but all you could do in that moment was hold him tight and screw your eyes shut as you cried along with him.
"He doesn't deserve you, J," you whispered into his hair. "He doesn't deserve you one bit. You're the best son, okay. You're the best friend, the best goddamned person on this island, on this planet! You're so loved, you hear me? You're so loved, babyboy. We all love you, I love you okay. I love you more than anything."
You'd said the words a million times before, but somehow in that moment, wrapped up in each other, JJ sobbing into your chest and you holding him like a person would a child, his ear resting against your heart where he could hear every little beat, his own matching the rhythm soon after - in that moment, _you both knew it meant more. That the friendly shared 'love you's' from so many times before were different to the ones now, and yet still neither of you spoke about it. You focused on JJ, giving him the comfort he so desperately needed. And JJ focused on you, focused on your heartbeat and the sound of your breathing and the soothing words you were whispering to him, and you had no clue as to what he was thinking; that he loved you, so fucking much. JJ Maybank didn't know what to do with that, to love someone so completely and honestly like he loved you, beyond the point of friendship and into the unknown territory of _in-love _absolutely _terrified him. But he knew it to be true, he was in love with you.
And as you forced him to take his shirt off so you could inspect the bruises surrounding his stomach and chest, laying a gentle kiss onto each and every one of them as he started at you with pure adoration in his eyes, he thought about your relationship - fears of you getting bored of him, wanting more than the island life and more than him, fears of you leaving him for something or someone simply more. Realising that he was no good like he'd always said, always suspected. But then you gazed at him with a certain glint in your eyes that he knew was reflecting in his own, and you were pressing your lips to his in a soft caress that dimmed all thoughts from his head and the question of 'are you bored yet?' fell flat on his lips as you ate them, chewed it up and spat it straight back out.
That conversation could come later, he supposed.
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JJ's jaw clenched as he took in the sight of you, skin glowing in the late night sun that was slowly fading in the moons advance. The kegger had begun only an hour or so before, and yet the beach was filled with people already - varying of Pogues, Tourons and Kooks.
Among them all was you, red cup placed in your hands as you laughed at something the guy in front of you was saying, a small smile on the boys lips as he watched you. JJ felt something twist in his gut, suddenly feeling nauseous as he was stood a bit away from you, taking in the sight with malice in his blue eyes. He didn't know the guy that much was for sure, which could only mean one thing; he was definitely a Touron. That also probably meant that he was one of the few people at the party that didn't know JJ or anything of his reputation for being a bit too hot headed. JJ couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.
"Dude," John B slapped a hand on his shoulder, effectively snapping his trance at the pair across the beach. JJ turned towards his best friend, a smirk on John B's lips as their eyes met. "You're gonna poke holes into that guys head the way you're glaring at him man."
JJ rolled his eyes, his head once again moving to look back towards your figure. You didn't look mad at the attention the guy was giving you, and that sent a trail of fury in JJ's veins. "Who is that guy, man?" He asked instead of replying to John B's playful taunts. John B seemed to take note of that and simply shook his head. Fucking clueless, he thought.
"Dunno," John B replied as he took a swig of the beer in his hands. "Some Touron, probably." He glanced at his best friends face and noticed the glare darken in JJ's eyes. He suddenly shifted, blocking his view of you and the guy, ignoring JJ's grunt of displeasure at his move. "Don't start anything, J. Alright?"
JJ scoffed. "Me?" He chuckled darkly. "Nah man, you know I'd never start anything," he patted John B's chest twice. "I'm not the fighting type." JJ knew that John B could make out the sarcastic drawl to his words, and looking away from the brunette's eyes JJ was glancing back at you. His features shifted dramatically as he saw the guy take a step closer to your body, and despite the somewhat uncomfortable smile on your face you never seemed to object to the move. JJ felt the anger in his veins grow. "Fuck this!"
John B stopped him before he could take another step, shoving his chest so that he stumbled backwards. "Don't even think about it," JB warned. From afar, Pope seemed to take notice of the two and began to walk towards the seething blonde and his brunette best friend. "Pope, man tell him," John B practically pleaded as the most level headed of the group arrived at their side. It didn't take long for Pope to realise what the source of JJ's anger was, spotting you and the guy, completely oblivious to what was going on. "What are you planning on doing, huh?"
"He's all over her," JJ simply said - as if that was enough of an excuse for his anger. Pope and John B shared a glance. "I'm just gonna go over there and see if she's alright, alright?"
"Why do you care if he's all over her?" Pope raised his eyebrows. "You're not her boyfriend."
That faltered JJ's stance, and for a split second he looked away from you - still laughing, both hands gripping the cup in your hands, bikini clad top on full show for unwelcome eyes to wander. He clenched his jaw tighter, teeth clashing in his mouth, as he thought about Pope's words. Was it technically true; wasn't he your boyfriend? He didn't know - neither of you did. You hadn't spoken about anything, the changes in your relationship coming almost naturally so that neither of you cared to at first.
First, there was the no Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule. Second, there was something so deliciously thrilling about keeping your relationship from everyone else - no room for drama or prying eyes, or so he thought. But the unknown was beginning to scare him, and all he wanted was answers.
It was as if putting a label on what you both were would potentially put an end to everything, all the kissing, cuddling, secret touches, lingering looks, whispered endearments. The pair of you were too young for this shit, JJ thought. Thinking so hard about what you are or weren't. And god forbid you'd both come to regret it all; JJ couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.
"I'm not gonna do anything," he said simply, and shoved his way past his friends before they could do anything else. He approached you, your eyes immediately catching his and a large grin overtaking the features of your face as he came closer. The guy seemed to notice your shift in attention and he turned too, eyes widening a bit at the sight of the blonde stood in front of him. JJ tried to smile naturally, his too sharp teeth secretly grinding together. "Hey," he chirped as if he was talking to an old friend. "How're you doing, man? I'm JJ."
You hid a laugh behind your hand, having no clue as to what JJ was trying to achieve but finding the obviously fake enthusiasm rather hilarious in that moment. Over his shoulder, you noticed John B and Pope watching with careful eyes, and everything seemed to click in your mind. _JJ was obviously planning on starting something. _You decided to get yourself and your somewhat boyfriend slash best friend out of the situation before anything could happen, the poor Touron didn't have a clue that you were kinda taken, to a fist throwing first ask questions later, tall blonde named JJ Maybank after all.
"It was nice talking to you, dude," you told the guy, his face dropping at the word dude. God, had he seriously wasted all that time flirting with you? You grabbed JJ's hand, only for him to tug it out of yours and place it around your shoulders, blue eyes sending daggers to the nervous boy on front of you. "We're gonna go now, I think."
And with that, you led the way away from him, not missing the way JJ's eyes swooped over the guy in an almost warning manner before smirking at him. Your hand reached up and fingers intertwined with those of JJ's that were sat rather comfortably near your breast. JJ's fingers squeezed yours in response, his arm tugging you closer before he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to the top of your head.
Once you were a good distance away from the party and its occupants on the beach, you turned in his arm, hand letting go of his to wrap both your arms around his waist. He kept the same arm around your shoulder and placed his other on your bare back between the high waist line of your shorts and the knot of your bikini, long fingers spacing out and rubbing soothing patterns into the skin.
You sighed as you looked at him. "What was that about?" You questioned, a small smile tugging on your lips regardless of the seriousness in your question as you demanded answers.
"That guy was all over you," JJ grunted, his eyes leaving yours to glare at the space where you stood a minute before talking to the said guy. "He was practically drooling all over you. I saved you, y'know. You should be thanking me, babe."
You laughed, and rolling your eyes you reached up to touch his face, thumb smoothing over the still darkened skin under his eye from the confrontation of his dad earlier that week. Leaning up on your toes, aware that nobody could see the action from the distance you and JJ were stood from the kegger, you pressed a kiss to the bruised skin, JJ's eyes closing at the feel of your lips against his skin, a soft exhale leaving his chest.
"Were you jealous, baby?" You teased gently, chuckling at his scoff in response to your accusation. "Relax, J. You don't have to be. I've only got eyes for you."
That seemed to catch his attention. JJ pulled away from you a bit, blue eyes suddenly serious and pink lips forming a tight line. For a second you worried you'd said something wrong, suddenly afraid that he would pull back completely and distance himself from you like you feared one day he would - it was only a matter of time before he realised what you had was a mistake, you worried. That he'd get bored of you and realise there was so many other people he could have. The thought alone made you sick, and you forced the intruding thoughts to the back of your head as JJ's eyes trailed over your face.
"What's wrong?" You couldn't take it anymore. The silence was deafening, even with the music and chatter of the teenagers behind you lingering in the night air. JJ seemed to get hold of his bearings at that moment, shaking his head and leaving a hand from your body to run through his hair. You watched him all the while, lip between your teeth. "J, what's wrong baby?"
JJ wished he had an answer, but he simply didn't. He had no idea what was wrong, no way of telling you the thoughts that were running through his mind. JJ had never been good with words, or emotions, or anything much like that at all. And so he just shook his head, sighing deeply as his hands caressed your face. You welcomed the touch, head leaning into his hold as he smiled down at you. You knew there was something he wanted to say to you; you had known him for so long, felt like all your life, and you could see right through his lies. However you never said a thing, once again. In that moment, it felt enough to just be by his side.
"Can we go?" He muttered quietly, despite no-one being around you. You smiled softly, eyes staring into each others there on the beach. "Just wanna go to sleep with you," he murmured that time, leaning down and kissing the side of your lips, not completely which had you grumbling quietly.
"Course, baby," you whispered as you looked at him, feeling nothing but adoration and love for the boy in front of you. "Let's go."
And so after kissing him under the moonlight, feet sunken in the damp sand as the sea splashed around you, the kegger still going strong in the distance, JJ took your hands and led the way back to the Chateau, where despite both your similar thoughts you crawled into bed in the spare bedroom and fell asleep together, your head resting on his chest with his cheek pressed against your head, arms wrapped around forms and legs intertwined.
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It was hot, blistering heat panning down on your form as you lay on the hammock outside the Chateau, eyes closed with one arm resting over them in a fleeting attempt to block the sun out. Despite the unbearable temperature of the day, JJ lay in between your legs, perfectly muscular arms wrapped around your waist as his head rested on your stomach that was covered only by one of his infamous cut-off sleeve shirts, only a bikini underneath it keeping you modest.
One of your hands played with the hair on the back of his neck, twirling the strands in between your fingers and repeating the process over and over again, JJ letting out a low him as you did so.
It was just the two of you, the quiet and peacefulness welcome on the hot day as you cuddled as close as you could and as much as you wanted, nothing off limits away from the prying eyes of your best friends. Both Kie and Pope were working, John B having traded your company for that of Sarah Cameron's for the day, and so that only left the pair of you to do anything and everything you pleased. JJ had let out a joyous whoop when you'd discovered the fact, and you'd only managed to get out of bed half an hour before as he took full advantage of having the Chateau to yourselves for the morning. The original plan was to go surfing, but as soon as you'd stepped out of the house the both of you seemed to come to a silent mutual agreement that lounging around in the sun on the porch was a much more welcoming idea instead.
And so that's what the pair of you had done; there was barely a word uttered between you both as you lay there, JJ's skin slightly sticky and damp on your own due to the heat, but neither of you seemed to mind as you simply closed your eyes and basked in the quiet, content with doing nothing with your favourite person.
JJ's hands had moved so that he was caressing your side, your skin revealed with the low cut of his shirt as his thumb rubbed patterns into your skin. In its wake it left goosebumps, JJ's touch never failing to make you shiver even in all the years you had known him. He knew what effect he had on you too, he smirked as you shivered, his other hand squeezing the flesh of your hip.
You trailed your own hands down from his hair and onto the exposed flesh of his back as he lay shirtless, and you could feel the muscles under your palms clench as you let out a small giggle. JJ chuckled along, although he'd had no idea as to what it was you were laughing at in the first place. The sound of your laugh just made him happy, he supposed.
"What're you laughing at?" He murmured quietly, chin propping on your stomach and his eyes squinting up at you. He'd moved a hand down to your thigh, now kneading the flesh there as his other remained on your side and wrote unknown words into the skin there. You grinned down at him lazily, the sun and his charming aura making you feel high. Then again, you probably were high; the blunt you'd both shared a couple of minutes earlier taking its toll.
"Nothing," you hummed. "Just really, really fucking happy right now s'all."
JJ laughed, laying a kiss onto your stomach and loving the way you giggled at the action. He pressed more there, letting out dramatic sounds of various 'mwah's' as he trailed them up further until his lips were on the skin on your collarbone, continuing his assault onto your neck. JJ's tongue darted out, and your giggles had soon turned into breathy moans of approval as he sucked on the skin, his sharpened teeth sinking into the flesh not long after. You gripped the back of his neck, fingernails digging into his hairline as your sounds of pleasure rippled through the air surrounding you without a care in the world. In that moment you couldn't care less if anyone had caught you - all that mattered was JJ, all that ever mattered was JJ. He sucked gently on your flesh, adding to the bruises that already littered your chest, stomach, thighs, anywhere he could get his mouth earlier. You both knew questions would be asked from the others, in the high temperatures of the Outer Banks your skin was almost always revealed. But again, neither of you cared.
Not when JJ's mouth left your skin with a satisfying pop, his eyes taking in the sight of the freshly bruised flesh, a content smile on his lips. He leaned down and peppered a kiss to the lovebite, soothing his tongue over it afterwards. You let out a sigh, suddenly breathless under his heated gaze.
JJ shuffled his body up and closer, one leg in between yours as his right hand came up and held your face tenderly in his palm, the rough skin of his thumb swiping along your brow as he grinned cheekily down at you. "You're fucking beautiful y'know that?"
Your cheeks blazed, an almost embarrassed laugh leaving your mouth and you shook your head at his words. JJ looked offended suddenly, his brows furrowing as he nodded furiously. "Um, yes you are. Don't you dare say that you're not because you're, fucking, beautiful, okay," between each word he left lingering kisses to your lips with his own, and you knew it was probably the weed in his system that had spurred him to such a romantic confrontation, but you welcomed it regardless, giggling against his lips as one leg hooked around his waist. "Fucking god, you keep doing that and we won't be moving from this hammock all day."
"I'm not complaining about that," you replied and pressed your lips harder to his. JJ let out a groan, his body impulsively pushing down further onto yours, his hips directly on yours, chests pressed close together, his arm holding him up enough near your head so he didn't suffocate you completely, his other kneading the soft flesh of your bikini bottom clad ass. Your own hands caressed the skin of his abdomen, fingers sprawled and feeling his abs tense underneath the tips. You pulled away only slightly, taking in the sight of his flushed face, his eyes bright and yearning, flashing with something you couldn't quite place and his lips swollen and so very red. "Thank you, by the way." You whispered as you reached up and pushed the hair from his face. "You're pretty beautiful yourself, hon."
JJ seemed to understand what you were getting at then, his chest heaving with a chuckle as he shook his head at you. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your nose, returning his head to snuggle into your neck as you were once again wrapped around each other. "Thanks, I know," he joked (possibly) as his hands resumed their pattern of soothing shapes on your ribs. You hummed a random tune, the calming atmosphere returning around the pair of you on the porch. It was quiet for a few more minutes, your eyes closing involuntarily and almost falling asleep right then and there before JJ spoke up again. "You're my best friend, y'know."
The words were so quiet you almost missed them, but with the silence surrounding you, you'd heard them loud and clear. Your eyes opened and you glanced down at the boy laying atop of you, his face hidden in the skin of your neck.
"I would hope so," you laughed slightly, having no clue as to where JJ was planning on going with the fact. "You're my best friend too. I'd be lost without you and the guys."
"No," JJ shook his head. He shifted in his place, eyes connecting with yours as you sent him a questioning look, quirking your eyebrow. JJ sighed deeply, sucking his lower chapped lip into his mouth for a second before releasing it and allowing your finger to trace the outline of it. "You don't get it. You're like, my best friend. I know it sounds stupid and I'm probably a selfish fucker for saying it, but I'd put you above everyone else. You are above everyone else. And like, I don't know how else to explain it but you mean the fucking world to me. Without you, I'd be nothing. If I lost you, I'd fucking die."
His voice broke at the end, and it damn near broke your heart as you hushed him gently, arms circling around his head and holding it close to your chest. You kissed his forehead, hearing him sniffle before he raised his head and met your eyes, the sea blue crystallised by unshed tears.
"I feel like I've known you my whole life, and I just - I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm scared honestly, shit fucking feared of losing you, or you realising that I'm just a no good low life and you could do better, and honestly you could and I don't even know what the fuck you're doing with me," JJ chuckled darkly and you shook your head, feeling tears prick at your own eyes at his words. "And I don't even know if you want to be with me, or if what we're doing is some mistake you're gonna regret, but you're my best friend."
The earnest in his voice made your heart clench in your chest. You'd seen JJ cry numerous times, seen his facade break and his world around him to crash, seen the emotions pour out of him with so much force whether they be happy, sad, fucking hysterical or ecstatic; and you'd loved him through it all. The realisation of just how much you loved him, that went beyond friendship and into pure, earnest and genuine love for the boy in front of you, made your head swirl and butterflies in your stomach to clash heavily against your ribcage. Something warm spread throughout you, and you welcomed the feeling with open arms. You loved JJ Maybank, purely and honestly, with every fibre in your being.
"J," you murmured carefully, gripping his damp cheeks and forcing him to look at you. His face was unreadable, but you could see in his eyes what he was feeling in that moment. "You're fucking crazy, alright? Everything about you is so damned chaotic and I love every bit of it. I love every bit of you, so much. Do you know how scared I was that you would take all this back? Regret it all, leave me for someone better. I was scared shitless, because I cannot lose you. You're my best friend, and all I wanna do is spend all my time with you."
"I've never felt like this before," you whispered as JJ's gaze softened, hands gripping your hips and squeezing gently. You traced the worry in his brows, easing it away, traced the bottoms of his eyes, the slope of his nose and the outline of his lips. He breathed against your fingertips, the soft exhale making the hairs on your arms raise. "I love you, J. And if you think you're ever gonna get rid of me, you're terribly fucking mistaken."
JJ chuckled at that, blonde head falling on your chest as he breathed in and out, seemingly catching his breath at your confession. "Thank god," he breathed, cheeky gaze raising to catch yours as he grinned, suddenly surging forward and catching your lips with his own in a deep and passionate embrace that had you feeling dizzy at the pure feel of it all. "I was scared you were gonna tell me to fuck off, thought you were using me for my body for a minute there, babe."
You full on laughed, breaking away from his eager lips to let it out, your hands clutching his cheeks and your legs squashing his body atop yours from where they were wrapped around his waist. "You're such a fucker, J." He kissed along your jaw in response, biting down softly. "God, that weed must have been some new level shit."
"Nah," JJ shook his head and grinned. "You just drive me crazy, babygirl." His hands wandered from your ribs higher till his fingertips just slipped under the material of your bikini top. He pressed a further series of tender kisses to your chest, trailing them down and then back up to meet your lips once more. He gazed lovingly at you, looking golden in the sunlight. "I love you too, by the way. Just so y'know."
You grinned softly, catching his bottom lip with your teeth when he began to pull away, pulling a delicious groan from him. "I know," you echoed back to him, lips raising on their own accord to match JJ's almost shy smile at your declaration. "Hey, can we stay home today? Wanna watch the sunset with you later."
JJ snorted, laying one last lingering kiss to your lips before snuggling back into your neck, his eyelashes brushing against your delicate skin. "Whatever you want baby," he chuckled, breath warm. "Whatever you want."
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Yours and JJ's (now established, thankfully) relationship only progessed from there; it was in the little things, spending every moment you could get with each other, always touching in some kind of way whether it to be hands curled around one another's, fingers dancing on skin, shoulders and arms brushing, legs squished beside each other. It was all new, and it was all so exciting, and any worries that the two of you may had shared earlier vanished and in their wake came new thoughts of the future, of which you'd spend together.
If the gang had noticed the change, they hadn't mentioned it. Though you already knew Kie suspected something a long time ago, and probably Pope and John B too, due to JJ's little episode at the kegger that time. But you and JJ rejoiced in the unknown, relationship growing stronger each day all the while. You weren't trying to hide it - god forbid, you'd both been waiting so long for it, but you hadn't officially announced you were boyfriend and girlfriend either. There wasn't anything to say, you thought. The relationship came naturally, years of close friendship gradually turning into something more for the pair of you, and you'd both agreed it would be way funnier for the gang to come to their own conclusions and confront you about it themselves. However long that would take them.
The Pogues had driven the HMS Pogue out to the marsh, planning on drinking, swimming and simply hanging out for the day. Sarah had joined you on that particular day, body pressed close to John B's as the group lounged around on the boat, you and JJ wrapped around each other as usual.
His muscular arm was wrapped around your shoulders as you sprawled out close together, your legs thrown over his as your body angled towards his own, head resting on his shoulder. Your hands held the one thrown over you, absentmindedly playing with his ring adorned fingers. His other gripped your knee laying over his, thumb rubbing gentle patterns into the tanned skin there.
Nobody had mentioned your closeness - it was nothing new, the pair of you had always been so close, always touching even before becoming a couple. But Sarah wasn't as close with you as the others, and though she was aware of how close you and JJ were, she wasn't as up to date with everything like everyone else. You'd had no idea that she always just assumed the pair of you were dating, until that day.
"So, you guys are like, a couple right?" She'd asked out of the blue, eyes directed onto you and JJ. Kie suddenly sat up straight, sunglasses raising to rest atop her head rather than on her nose, Pope beside her seemingly taking as much interest, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he listened.
From beside Sarah, John B laughed and shook his head. "Everyone thinks that," he grinned, looking to you and JJ who shared a knowing glance. Sarah looked at him in confusion. "They can't help it though, their sexual tension is through the roof."
Sarah looked even more confused. "Wait, so you guys aren't together?"
JJ cleared his throat, arm tightening around your shoulders. You squeezed his hand as you stared up at him, smiling softly at his uncertain gaze. Once he'd met your eyes, the uncertainty faded away and in its place came a cheeky kind of look, mischievous and so attractive that you had to hold yourself back from kissing him right then and there. You knew it was time to come clean; and you thought it would scare you, your relationship suddenly becoming so real, but the thought only made your insides twist and churn with nothing but excitement.
You looked back at Sarah, who's gaze was still on the pair of you, as well as everyone elses. You noted the almost giddy expression on Kie's face, the barely suppressed curiosity on Pope's, and the suddenly confused one of John B's. You almost laughed, but held it in to say, "Actually, yeah. JJ and I are together."
JJ squeezed you gently as the reactions from your friends began. Kie grinned smugly, Sarah smiled at the two of you, John B raised his eyebrows so high they almost got lost beneath his hat, and Pope slapped his knees before he lurched backwards with his arms raised above his head.
"I knew it, man," Pope shook his head, though a smile was growing on his handsome features. "I knew something's been up with you two."
You laughed as Kie scoffed, "You knew? I had it figured out from the very beginning, I could tell something had changed." She eyed you. "And I was specifically told that nothing was going on, you big fat liar!"
"I'm sorry," you chuckled. "In my defence, when you asked me about it then I actually didn't know if we were like, together together. We hadn't spoken about it yet."
JJ grinned and pulled your body closer, leaning down and pressing a sloppy kiss to the top of your head as your face was mushed into his bare chest. "Yeah, and who can blame her for wanting to keep my Sex God body all to herself?" He asked rhetorically, laughing when you slapped him on the chest with a playful eye roll.
"Wait, so are you a couple now?" John B questioned, puzzled. He looked between the pair of you, your arms wrapped around his waist, one of his still around your shoulder and hand resting between your boobs. The other brushed hair from your face, JJ's gaze loving and soft as he looked down at you before looking back towards his best friend. John B scrunched his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"We didn't tell anyone man," JJ shrugged carelessly. His fingers had began to play with your hair. "Figured it would be funnier for you guys to find out yourselves," he grinned. "So congratulations, you guys now know. Your reward is the knowledge that we fuck now!"
The gang groaned at his ludicrous words, and you slapped his chest with more force than you had before, just slightly as you scoffed and attempted to raise your head and move position to get a good look at him, but all JJ did was grab your hand and pull it upwards to his lips, kissing each of your knuckles instead.
You rolled as your eyes as you turned back to your friends. "We're sorry about not telling you," you said almost sheepishly. "We only really figured out what this was between us a few days ago, and by that time we just kinda forgot to mention it. This whole thing just kinda happened, we didn't know if it would last or become serious."
"And it has become serious now?" Pope voiced everyone's thoughts, glancing between the two of you. "Like, you're together as a couple. You love each other?"
You and JJ shared a look, the pair of you smiling softly as your hand raised and brushed the blonde strands of hair that fell over his brow, his own reaching up and holding the side of your jaw, his thumb swiping along your cheek lovingly. The others shared glances, unknown to you and JJ as you seemed to be lost inside your own little world for a moment.
When you came to again, you never turned from his eyes, watching the sea blue irises light up at your words; "Yeah, I love him, the fucker."
You heard a collective round of replies, but the feel of JJ's lips on yours for a second forced your attention on him and only him, your hands on his cheeks as you held him there for a full minute before pulling away, leaving a couple more little pecks on his lips. He whispered, "I love you." before he turned his attention to your friends, your smile so bright.
"I thought she'd get bored of me," he revealed unexpectedly. The Pogues (plus Sarah) all looked to him with various expressions of confusion, your own face matching theirs for a moment. JJ felt a smile tug on his lips as your hands massaged his scalp, nails scraping gently against the skin beneath. "But of course she couldn't, I mean I'm the fucking best am I not?"
The gang rolled their eyes as his normal cheeky expression returned, though they all smiled at the pair of you cuddled close together on the seats of the HMS Pogue, realising it was the happiest they'd ever seen the both of you. John B let out a sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, it's about time anyway."
And just like that, everything went back to normal. You knew they'd have more questions in the future, prepared to answer any and every one of them when they came. But your little group swayed their attention elsewhere sat out on their little boat, laughing and joking at the next topic of conversation, bright eyes and giddy smiles on every face as you drank, swam and sunbathed out there on the marsh. JJ was only looking at you though, skin golden and blue eyes shining. You loved him, you thought. How could he ever think you'd get bored of him, with his charm and quick witted words, sarcastic drawl and tendency to get into trouble, his obsession with weed and putting others before himself always, his beautiful mind and ridiculously good looks to match. He was yours, all yours. And you loved him. JJ grinned. "Are you bored yet?" He asked, just once, loving the sound of your giggle as you shook your head at his antics. "No? Good, because I'm never gonna get bored of you."
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ninacarstairss · 4 years ago
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Hello bestieeee :D How are u today? I hope u are living ur best life and are well<3
GUESS WHAT?
Yesterday,I finished RWRB!!! How can I even start to describe my love for this book? Hmmm I don’t think that I can put it in words but I’ll say whatI loved about it and by that,well,It’s pretty much everything. All the characters(except Philip the homophobic bitch,Richards the coward and um the Queen) were just so amazing and it was refreshing(yeah refreshing,don’t criticize me for choosing this word) to read about them and I learned so much from each one and there’s no doubt that they inspired in many ways.Tho I love all of them immensely,Henry and Alex hold a special place in my heart.The way Henry and Alex grew up through the book and let themselves to truly be the people they are at the end even after all the consequences they were ready to live with left me happy and hopeful.But I think that Alex and Henry couldn’t have been themselves one day in front of the whole world if they did not choosed to know each other and fall in love through this journey.Its beautiful to see how Alex who never expected to bond with Henry,was so grateful that he had the chance to do so.And there’s Henry who for so long,he had to pretend that he was someone else and live a life that was painfully untrue and unfair to his own feelings but he still managed to be the kindest and generous person that he could be and that,made my heart break but proud.I love them and lemme tell u,they are one of the most power couple and even THE power couple that u could possibly hope for. I love this two and If I want to find comfort,I’ll always look up to re-read some scenes with them(😏😎💕).What else?Ohh it was gracefully written and the way the characters expressed themselves was really relatable and I could see myself in them.There’s the plot who was entertaining and I just adored the aesthetic of this book(I mean the places that we saw etc).The whole story captivated me.RWRB is without a doubt one of my favourite books that I’ll eternally recommend(maybe not to my parents hehe cuz of the um spicy scenes👉🏼👈🏼,u know?).That’s pretty much that,I could talk about RWRB more but I know it will end up be a novel just about how much I LOVED IT. I can’t wait to read One last stop by the same author who made me feel countless of emotions in just one book.
P-S: Expect to see me posting(poems and the wonderful Chia already helped me giving me some ideas,aesthetics,drawings etc and maybe even a fic? Or a few?I’ll see). Alsooo,I’ll start SOA so lemme tell u if someone doesn’t mind to share my thoughts about this one and wish me luck for all the pain that I’ll be going through this one too).Why do I like pain so much?
Tagging some RWRB simps who I want to thank for bearing my thoughts and making me so excited for this book and hopefully I did not annoyed anybody: @shadowhunting-hooligans @carstairgray @gabtapia @niastormsanctuary-bolastairkanej @queen-born-out-of-fire @clarys-heosphoros
EVERYTHING YOU SAID. EVERYTHING.
ok let’s do this right i’m gonna try with a coherent answer—
hii bestie!! i’m fine and honestly now i’m even better because this ask just made my day and i read it twice because how could i not?? it’s literally exactly all i thought when i finished the book and i still think about all this 24/7, even after a month. this book is literally everything and it just stays in your veins.
and, honestly, you chose the perfect word. refreshing it’s exactly what this book is. except for those three horrible unnameable characters, all the characters were really refreshing and the relationships between them were so good and healthy that it was really refreshing. i loved alex and henry’s relationship, how it was developed and how it was built, it was so wholesome and it was definitely refreshing (yes now i clearly can’t stop using this word) to see so much communication and all this getting to really know each other inside out. and i totally agree, without knowing each other so well their story wouldn’t have been the same, they wouldn’t be so aware and so sure about going public and taking all the risks and consequences of that.
and their growth, both as individuals and as a couple, is amazing. the way alex is grateful to have met henry and how he learns to know himself better thanks to henry and how he learns to steady himself and slow down and the way henry learns to accept himself and learns that he deserves happiness, all of that without ever losing his kindness and his ability to love beyond measure even after years of being forced in the dark, always makes me emotional. they truly have some of the best character development i’ve ever seen, and it’s subtle and not rushed, and at the same time it’s so visible and tangible.
they’re definitely THE power couple and also THE comfort couple. seriously half of their scenes are the softest thing ever and they’re perfect for every mood. like, want to feel happy and laugh? reread the great turkey calamity or the karaoke scene. want to feel that sort of calm and soothing happiness? reread the scene at the beekman or alex’s speech at the end. want to get some serotonin? reread all their phone calls, email and texts. there are literally so many scenes i reread almost on a daily basis.
and i totally agree, the book was amazingly written, i loved the sceneries and even tho all these characters are probably the least relatable characters ever —considering one is a prince, one is the son of a president and the others are also involved in these spaces — they all end up being incredibly relatable, so much more than a lot of other characters i’ve read about. june and nora are also characters i loved so much because they were so relatable and so real.
rwrb is definitely one of my favorite books ever too and i can’t wait to read one last stop, from what i’ve heard so far it’s just as amazing!!
and i assure you bestie, you didn’t annoy anyone!! i loved reading all your thoughts and this last ask gave me life so pls do share your thoughts with the song of achilles too!! you’re gonna have to suffer and cry a lot there but it’s worth it, it’s really an amazing book. i’ll be here for moral support love 🧁🧁♥️♥️
anyway i hope you’re well too and having an amazing day, aside from the constantly missing rwrb part, because that’s gonna last a lot of time. ily and i’ll be waiting for more comments to cry and rant with you <33
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makeusfreefromthisfandom · 4 years ago
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just sending some appreciation and good vibes to my people for the new year <3
kisses from me bc you all hold a very special place in my heart 💝
Also veryyy long post ahead I’m sorry I had to include everyone Aakklaksks 😭😭
@ominous-meme 🖤 sabah! You were my very first mutual on here I hope you know that! I can’t even begin on how excited I got when I found out you were a fellow desi girl and I will always appreciate you being there and advising me! <3 I love our street racing au! talks ! I’m glad I have someone to share ideas with <33
@weebsausage 🖤 dude omg!!! 😭😭😭 pls I literally forgot how we became moots I’m so sorry I have a tiny brain 😪 but I think we literally just messaged each other and started talking about free! ANYWAYS TYSM FOR PUTTING ME ON HXH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THAT WTF ITS LIKE MY FAV ANIME EVER I HAVE BECOME HXH TRASH AJSJSJBS ❤️❤️ but other than that thank you for being a really great friend to me and I hope this year is nothing but good things for you <33
@dokifluffs 🖤 you were also one of my first moots on here! I honestly could not believe when you followed me back bc ur like my biggest inspo! 😭 you’re so precious omg I always look forward talking to you and get excited when I see a notif from you still! I hope the new year treats you well and brings good things in your life! Lots of love from me bae 🥰❤️
@syrenblubs 🖤 ah my most relatable person LOL. Omg syren ur my little bestie on here and I’m so glad we’re mutuals! I love our natsuya talks and OML THE C****** RAID! ALSJJSJSJSJJS AND DESI PARENTS AKSJJSNS. Just thank you for always interacting with me even tho I SUCK at responding 😭❤️❤️❤️ ilyyysmmmmmm
@linak 🖤 baby omg where do I even begin. Back when I had literally no one to talk to on here, you would be the one NEVER failing to send me a gm/gn message! You always bring a stupid smile to my face 😭 I’m so freaking glad that we are friends I literally cannot put into words!! Ty for always listening to me and letting me open up to you ❤️ love you always.
@croctears 🖤 vixxx ahhh!!! I’m so glad we became mutuals on this shitty app! You’re one of the highlights of my day and I love talking to you sm 😫 especially if it’s about Sou 😏😏 keep being amazing bae! Kisses mwuah mwuah 😽😽
@xakusa 🖤 Marty bby! 🥰 literally the only person I’m going to share my man natsu with 🙄 our conversations are always so RANDOM and out of nowhereeeee lollll but we also just go along with it and I love that! You are an angel and this year better be giving you what you deserve! Lots of love from my end 😽😽😽 kissies from me and natsuya <3
@cafelixie 🖤 I will keep saying this and I will never stop. YOU!!! ARE!!! THE!!! ACTUAL!!! DEFINITION!!! OF!!! PRECIOUS!!!! Need I say more? You’ve made my day countless times and I always look forward to seeing you in my messages/inbox!! Baby I freaking love you I really don’t know what else to say 😭❤️
@skippyskeppy 🖤 I will never forget the first time we interacted my Kisumi enthusiast 😙🤝 I love it sm whenever I see you pop into my inbox with a random hc about semi semi or Kisumi, Albert now too! You are an amazing person. A really amazing person. I hope you know that ❤️
@keeijiakaashi 🖤 I remember seeing your little comments under my posts before we became moots and OMGGGG YOU ARE SO CUTE AISJJSJSJS ALSO RIN ENTHUSIAST??? YES PLEASE!!! Tysm for always interacting with me and making yourself known as the ultimate sweetest person on my blog! Ilyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️
@animatedarchives 🖤 we have your fellow love of the kirishimas to thank for us becoming moots! You’re so cute soph omg 😫 I love how we literally have brainrots of the same characters LIKE MR GOJO LEECH SATORU!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD OR PAY RENT!!! Ahh you’re irreplaceable soph! Never fail to make me smile like an idiot <33
@natsuya-enthusiast 🖤 how did we not become moots sooner wtf??? Do yk how alone I felt when I had no one to discuss my obsession of natsu with when I first made this blog 😪 AND THEN I REALIZED U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST FOLLOWERS???? ANYWAYS U ARE THE BIG SIS I NEVER HAD ALWAYS PULLING THROUGH W THAT LIFE ADVICE BAHAHAHA ilysm gaby wtf 😭😡😡😡❤️❤️❤️
@moonlitspring 🖤 do you even realize how happy I got when I realized there was another ACTIVE free! blog 😡😡 ajsjjsjs you are such an amazing writer and PERSON sky!!! You’ve been nothing but the sweetest and I hope we get to interact more this year and share our love of free! together <3
@ayumiko 🖤 laís you are such an angel! I absolutely adore both you and your edits/gifs smmm 🥰 you are so kind and I hope 2021 is also <333
@dalggina 🖤 omg??? YGO bae??? 😤😤 I thought literally everyone had forgotten ab it LOL THEN YOU CAME ALONG ❤️❤️ I’m really glad we interacted precious person! And I hope that you have a great year! ALSO YOU BETTER NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH FROM WORK OR IM MANIFESTING MR ATEM TO COME GET YOU 😡
@stormikujo 🖤 omg bby! We haven’t talked in awhile! I hope you are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️ ahhh I’m glad I got you into free otherwise we wouldn’t even have interacted 😫 I love talking to you stormi!! And I hope this year brings great things fro you! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️
@aj-writes-here 🖤 omg hey girl 😼😼 you’re definitely one of the coolest people I’ve talked to on here for sure! Hope you’ve been enjoying hq and free! Your welcome for putting you on that simp train 😼 anyways, ilysm aj!! I really wish the best for you this year! Stay amazing as you always are, ily!! ❤️❤️
@attackonfics 🖤 wtf 😭😭 I don’t deserve you???? You’ve been nothing but the sweetest to me and also responsible for my unhealthy obsession with mr 5’2 angry gremlin >:(( jkjk but seriously, ty for the food 😌. ANYWAYS QUEEN I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND TREATING YOURSELF AS!!! YOU!!! SHOULD!!! VIRTUAL HUGS 😽😽 💝
@browsing-my-favourite-fandoms 🖤 Shizen! You are too good for this world! 😭 you are such a genuine person, you deserve nothing but happiness ❤️ I really hope that this year does that for you. I’ll keep checking in from time to time! Ilysm! ❤️
@inum4ki 🖤 sera...please...just invest in a personal guide or smth. Asksksknsjs n e wayzzz seeing you in my inbox is always so much fun! Sousuke really deserves more love and you are bringing it to the table hun 😤😤 also you’re a fellow inumaki enthusiast too??? Yes please. You deserve all the happy things in 2021 <3
@sneezefiction 🖤 Gracie!! I love how easy it is to get along with you! You are truly one of the best people I’ve met on this app and I’ll forever be grateful for our friendship <3 you give off such great vibes all the time omg giving you a huge virtual hug and here’s to more interactions this year! 🥰😽😽😽
@velvetfireworks 🖤 bbyyy!! 🥰 everytime we interact even if it’s not a whole lot, you’re always the sweetest what 😭 I love you and you’re writing so much omggg you are so talented!! I get super excited when I see myself get tagged in one of your stuff 😆 I hope we get to interact more in the future! Have a great New Years ❤️❤️❤️
@a8mine 🖤 stop being so mean to me 😡😡 !!!!!! ig ily anyways tho 🙄 you’re energy is honestly unmatched (in a good way!!) and it’s rare to meet people like that! You’re so funny omg and your random hcs and cursed discourses always have me dying 😭😭 you’re so cool hanna ily 😪✌️ <333
@giorvanna 🖤 ahh rena! Your blog and edits are *chefs kiss* I love our random semi brainrot sessions 🥰🥰 I hope we interact more in the future but in the meantime I’m sending you good vibes and lots of virtual hugs bc you deserve them queen ❤️❤️❤️
@seijohlogy 🖤 hey hey jaestar 🤩🤩 you are such a cool person??? Omg I’m so glad that we’re friends and randomly invade each other’s inboxes 😆 you are so kind! This year better be kind to you too or else 😡😡 I hope that after Ms rona decides to move her ass over, you get to go to Disneyland and take!! Me!!! With!! You!! Love you jae bae ❤️❤️
@prettysetterbaby 🖤 hey sexc 🤩🤩 no idea why you followed me but glad you did bc you are such a sweet and chaotic person!! I loveeeeee <333 I hope we get to interact more bc you are just genuinely such a fun person to interact with! Ilyyy
@datecho 🖤 yet another just genuinely sweet person! The world doesn’t deserve you! You’re so fun to interact with and a hottie??? omg shoto and kags better get off their asses rn and come get you or I will 🤩🤩 ly bae! have a great New Years! ❤️❤️
@miyasangel 🖤 we haven’t interacted much yet but ahaha talking about suna and sending my fanart to you is sm fun! Did I tell you that I also have a wip of Atsumu as a street racer? 😏 have a great year Arden bae! Kisses 😽
@aikk00 🖤 hi hi! We don’t interact on a daily or anything but when we do, omg!!! You are the most easy person to get along with 😭 you have such a good heart along with the talent???omg??? You are UNMATCHED babe! I hope this year brings you many more opportunities! Stay amazing love ❤️ ily and your art very much ❤️ I’m also still very embarrassed from fucking up the credits from last time. I’m so sorry bae 😭❤️❤️
@kurooskult 🖤 ma’am you might as well be the definition of bad bitch 😪🤝 ok but besides that, interacting with you is sm fun??? Like we don’t even have to be moots on your blog to feel just as included and loved! You are such a queen for that! Here’s to more mila x kuroo content in 2021 and he better be doing special for you as he should !!
It’s still the 31st here but THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY COUPLE OF MONTHS ON HERE BEARABLE!!! This sounds like a goodbye post Oml-
I love you all very much. I suck at words, but I hope you know that. ❤️
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quarantineddreamer · 4 years ago
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a little fall of rain 
aka: it’s my fanfic and i’ll make myself cry with les mis!zutara if i want to
Day 4 @zkfanworkweek​: Angst. Hello! For those of you who know me as quarantineddreamer on AO3 a heads up that this one-shot is very different from my usual style. I experimented with present tense and I’m still not sure how successful I was with it, so I hope it doesn’t totally disappoint the wonderful artist who inspired me to write this!
In any case this amazing piece by the talented @firelord-hotman​ is worth checking out even if my writing cannot do it justice! I saw it and immediately got all the Zutara feels --along with a certain song stuck in my head... 
There’s an uprising in Ba Sing Se and she is dressed proudly in blue. 
The color is noticeable even in the shadows of night. It is a challenge, a dare, thrown boldly to the troops that have gathered and are waiting, arms at the ready, for the students behind the barricade to disperse. Or else. 
She is dressed proudly in blue and it fills Zuko with a dread so deep he can feel it in his heart like a drum, pulsing with each step he takes further into the tense silence. 
He wishes she would dress as the others he passes have, in muted browns, greys, and greens, but of course, her bravery and passion are as much a part of her as the curls that move like water across her back as she turns to speak with another rebel --and he loves every part of her. 
He has loved her since the day they met. The day she found him curled in the street, clutching his face, and without a second thought took him to a healer. She is more selfless than anyone he has ever met. More selfless than he will ever be. She is always thinking of others, always dreaming of a better world, and now here she is, ready to fight for that vision. Zuko thinks maybe, in another life --a life where the enemy’s face was not burned so intimately into his every nightmare- he could be more like her. 
Zuko has always carefully avoided conflict. He was taught that when tension fills the air it is best to mind your own business and look the other way or severe punishment will be dealt. It is a lesson he learned when he was young. It is a lesson he has carried within him ever since the day he met Katara. He has tried to teach her this lesson of self-preservation, because his worst fear is seeing her hurt, but it is not in her vocabulary. 
“Where does the barricade still need reinforcing?” 
Katara glances at her friend Toph before examining the earth wall before her. “Aang!” she calls.
A boy in orange robes comes forward. Zuko has been envious of this boy ever since they met. He is like her, courageous, decisive and he has seen how she smiles at him. The same look of admiration crosses her face now as he confidently instructs Toph on the best place to bend next. 
Coward, Zuko calls himself, as he avoids the light of the lanterns, but continues to follow them from a distance, observing. 
Katara is walking alongside Aang, he has looped her arm through his. Together they are checking on the members of their revolution, soothing nerves with just the power of a few words. Eventually they settle around a small fire with several other rebels.
You need to tell them, he thinks, but he feels so out of place here. He has been helping Katara organize her movement for years, but always discreetly. Scrounging up useful information and stealing supplies from behind the safety of a mask. He never thought he would be here, undisguised, sneaking into what will soon be a battleground. It has been years since he last stood directly in his father’s path. Yet here he is and beyond the barricade are his father’s men. It is an undeniable and terrifying truth that turns his veins to ice. 
He wonders what fresh torture his father might dream up for him if he is discovered. Banishment will not be enough. Perhaps obliteration will do. 
“Sokka, Suki, seriously, get a room! I can hear you smacking lips from here,” Zuko’s thoughts are interrupted as Toph groans at Katara’s brother and the girl who sits beside him.
“Toph, there’s no rooms around here and we don’t know what tomorrow may bring. If you don’t mind I’m going to kiss my girlfriend.”
“She has a point,” Aang coughs. 
“Oh please, I know you and my sister will be sneaking off before the night is done.” Sokka rolls his eyes, but he and Suki have separated and a playful grin is on his face. 
Zuko’s stomach twists. Katara’s head is resting on Aang’s shoulder and a slight blush has appeared on the face Zuko knows so well. His nerve is failing with each passing second, but Katara is wearing blue and time is running out. 
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to steady himself. In his mind he sees a day from years ago. One of his favorites. When they walked to the park together to feed the turtleducks. It had felt so easy with her, so carefree, like for the first time in his life everything might just be okay. He remembers the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed at his jokes. He recalls the warmth of her hand in his as he walked her home along rainy pavement shining like silver… but Katara was a storm, a tempest, beautiful and strong and he hadn’t been able to find the courage to tell her, afraid of what might happen if he confessed how he felt. Of the loss that might follow. The loneliness. What would he do without her?
Now the years of friendship are a sort of regret, because it was safe, yes, but it is another who is tucking a strand of her hair gently behind her ears, and he might never know what could have been, but she must know this… 
“Katara…” Zuko steps forward. 
Everyone jumps and reaches for weapons, but she is quick to assure them. “Zuko! What are you doing here?” Her eyes take in the red of the uniform he wears, but they do not narrow in suspicion as the others have. She trusts him. 
“I have to tell you something.” He pauses only briefly, watching her face for a moment before the rest of the words tumble out, “I snuck into the palace--”
“You what?!” Katara is shocked. She knows what that place means to him, the marks he still bears from his years spent behind its walls. Though she is clearly still trying to figure out what has possessed him, she lowers her voice. “Why would you do that?”
For you, for you, everything I do is for you, he wants to say. “I know what you have planned and I knew my f--.... I knew the Fire Lord would retaliate.”
Aang is regarding him with a cautious curiosity. His arm settles protectively around Katara’s shoulders and it takes everything in Zuko not to visibly cringe. “You still haven’t answered her question. What are you doing here?”
Her eyes are locked onto him. They are the moon in the darkness that has been his life, illuminating everything, making him feel seen when it would be all too easy to disappear into the abyss. They are blinding and perfect and he does not want to see the disappointment in them when he shares the intelligence he has gathered. When he pleads with her to stand down. Still… you must do this. 
“The Fire Lord does not intend to fight you fairly. He does not intend to fight you at all. He intends to kill anyone who remains behind this barricade. You need to get home. All of you…” He speaks only to her at first, but then turns his gaze to the others sitting beside her. When they do not react he tries again. “They do not intend to wait much longer. They will come before sunrise and they will not show mercy.”
“What are you saying?” Sokka asks.
“I am saying if you do not leave these streets will run red with your blood. I’m saying today is doomed, but you can still save tomorrow if you go now.”
It hurts that Katara looks away from him and turns immediately to Aang, for guidance, for comfort, for all the things Zuko wants to give her.  
“We can’t go. This city needs change. The people need us to change it.” Katara faces him again, resolve in her eyes. It makes his spirit spark, speaking to something inside of him only she can bring out. It reminds him why she is a voice for the helpless, a leader of people, a warrior. He knows that she has taken his warning into consideration, but has stubbornly decided she will not betray her values. “I will never turn my back on people that need me.”  
“Katara pl-” but Zuko does not finish his sentence. He has spotted a lone Fire Nation soldier perched at the top of the barricade and taking aim. Her target is clear. She is aiming for blue. She is aiming for Katara. 
For the first time in Zuko’s life he feels he is doing what he was meant to. For the first time in his life fear does not rule him as he jumps between Katara and the lightning that comes shooting from the soldier’s hands. It tears through his body sharp and sudden. He is grateful she will not experience the agony he does in that moment.
Commotion erupts. Toph bends the barricade higher with the help of other earthbenders, Aang charges towards the soldier with the lightning, and Sokka and Suki scan the area for more soldiers, but it is only the one for now. Zuko’s message has reached them just in time.
Katara drops to the ground beside Zuko, but he does not quite understand why her hands, usually so sure and steady, are trembling. Why her voice wobbles as she speaks. “No, no, no… Zuko, no...” 
He smiles at her. “It’s okay, Katara.” And it is. It always is when she is with him, because she makes him feel safe --like the home he never had.  
“I’ll mend this wound, you’ll be fine, y-you’ll be.” 
She reaches for the pouch of water that is always at her side, but Zuko takes her hand away and places it against his chest, against his wound, against his heart. The heart that he wishes she knew he had given her long ago. Her tears are falling freely, they land on his face like rain and roll down, but he does not join her in sorrow. 
“Just stay with me,” he whispers. “That’s all I need.”
“I won’t desert you now,” Katara promises, voice breaking. “I’d never desert you.”
“You wouldn’t?” 
“No, of course not…” She presses her free hand to his cheek, the other hand bends water towards his chest. It begins to glow, but it provides no relief. “Zuko, you have to live. You’re going to live.”
He knows he is not. He wants to tell her with the time he has left how much she has meant to him, but he hesitates, unable to find the words. Wondering if all the courage and purpose he would ever feel in life were intended for that moment of sacrifice that has already passed. Besides, what good would it do now except to cause her more pain? 
“Remember the day we went to feed the turtleducks?” 
“Of course,” she murmurs. “You held my hand and walked me home, I thought… Well, I hoped that you were going to…” She stares at him for a moment and he watches emotions play out on her face that he never in his wildest dreams thought he would see there.
They have been there all this time he realizes, but he has not allowed himself to believe it, because he is still not sure he is good enough --that he, a banished prince, is deserving of a heroic spirit like her. 
Katara bends down and presses her lips to his and he has just enough strength left to place a hand in her hair as she does so, marveling at this dream come true, the only dream, and the last. 
It might not be worth as much now and it’s not how he wanted to say it, but he says it anyways, softly, reverently, a prayer. “I love you.”
“I love you, too…” She cradles his head in her hands, he can feel the tremors of grief running through her --it is the only thing he feels, the only thing that still hurts. “I’m so sorry…”
I’m sorry too, but all the years spent in hesitation, in fear are nothing now. All that matters is that he has finally said it --and by some miracle so has she. It’s the greatest day of his entire life. In his euphoria he does not notice the hitch in his breathing when he tries to inhale nor the stillness building where a strong heartbeat should be. 
“Zuko, stay with me,” Katara insists with a sob. 
He wants her to understand that she has made him so unbelievably happy. He wants her to feel this way too. It is all he has ever wanted. There’s very little air left in his lungs, but he fights to tell her anyways, to assure her that all is well. 
“Don’t worry...it doesn’t hurt anymore…”
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marswr1tes · 4 years ago
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what do you mean, "you love me"?
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requested? yes / no
request: I wanna make a request for Leo Valdez pls anything angsty and lovey// Hi, about the Valdez imagine—I didn’t have anything specifically in mind just something angsty and romantic and stuff! I can’t find a lot of stuff on Leo and he’s my favorite // Actually an enemies to lovers Leo imagine would be rly cool now that I think about it
pairing: leo valdez x gn!reader
author's notes: hey ,, hey ,, how y’all doing....i’m so sorry i took a very long leave. after i got out of the hospital from being sick, my grandmother almost died from brain fluid leaking, and then i fell into a depressive episode, and a whole lot of shit happened so i couldn’t write. it’s honestly kinda pathetic of me though lmao, i should’ve gotten this out way earlier than i did. anywho, this is set around a week after july 4, you can decide the year x. also you'll have to forgive me if i got some things wrong, i haven't read the books in a while oops(i found the header here) ((ALSO THIS IS SO SHITTY AND SO RUSHED IM SO SORRY))
warnings: shouting/yelling, non-consensual kiss(but it's okay, because the person being kissed was okay with it)
tags: @stylishharry
word count: idk man i didn’t count lmao
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peaceful dreams. you finally had peaceful dreams. well, sorta. you were having a dream about the second titan war -which wasn’t peaceful, believe me- but in the grand scheme of all demigod dreams, this was on the more relaxed side. you were currently fighting an empousa with your friend, rose , but just as you were about to stab it, the scenery had changed, and your older brother jake loomed over you.
"y/n." he shook your body. "y/n, wake up." you shielded your face with your arms and rolled over.
“what is it now?" you asked him.
"it's chiron. he wants you at the big house, says you're in big trouble. i think it has to do with the prank you pulled last week." you groaned. last week, while everyone had gone to the cookout and firework show, you had "rickified" every cabin, except for yours. every single cabin,building, and any place you could stick pictures, had been completely covered in pictures of rick astley. and while it wasn't your best prank, you had a very fun time watching everyone think they had found the last of the pictures, just to be met with more. needless to say, chiron was upset. wanting to get in further trouble, you hauled yourself out of bed and to your suitcase. you then grabbed an outfit and headed towards the bathroom to change.
~
inside the big house, you were met with two unfriendly faces. one belonged to your favorite centaur, chiron, and the other belonged to your least favorite person to exist, leo valdez. there actually wasn’t a good reason you disliked the guy. for gods’ sake, you barely knew him! at first you thought it was his face, but after thinking about it-though you would never verbally admit it-he was attractive. anyway, there you were, in front of chiron and leo.
“so,” chiron began. “both of you are here for chores. first you’ll be cleaning the stables, then you’ll be cleaning the armor and weapons, then you’ll be deep cleaning all the cabins while the other campers are out, and then you’ll be coming back here to clean the big house. i’ll be giving you the list in case you forget, and come back here if you have any questions throughout the day. understood?” you nodded. leo slightly adjusted his tool belt before opening his mouth to ask a question.
“we’re doing this all together?” chiron nodded.
“of course. i couldn’t imagine why you wouldn’t be.” he answered. then you piped up.
“could we split the list in half and work separately but still get everything done?”
“while that could work and i suppose i’d be pleased with the outcome, part of the punishment is working together. i’m not blind, you two. i know you dislike each other. and anyways, wouldn’t it take longer to do on your own?” leo and you stayed silent.
“well then, off you go, children. and leo, dear, before you go, your belt please.” chiron said.
“my what?” leo looked back at the centaur.
“your tool belt? hand it over.”
~
and so you went, to the stables and to the arena, to the cabins and back to the big house, cleaning and organizing everything without a word shared between you two. or rather, leo tried to make small talk, but you ignored him and moved away. finishing up, you put the mop back in the closet, before you dusted your shirt off and headed off to your cabin to freshen up for dinner. as you grabbed your comb off your nightstand, there was a knock at your door. assuming it was rose coming to walk you for dinner, you ran over with a smile on your face. opening the door, that smile immediately dropped.
“go away.” you said. and then you slammed the door on him. leo looked hurt, but he got over it, and he knocked again.
“just go away, leo, no one asked you to talk to me.”
“i’m not leaving.”
“please just go.”
“no, this isn’t up for debate. i’m staying.”
“what the fuck is your issue? what the fuck do you think you’re playing at?”
“i- what?”
“is this some sort of sick game to you? is this funny to you, leo?” you asked angrily.
“i don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, y/n?”
“the fact that you never seem to think of what’s going on through my head!”
“seriously, what on the gods green earth are you saying?”
“i love you, okay? i love you, i love you, i love you! and i’ve loved you since you camp to camp! i love the way you fix your hair, i love your smile, i love the way you jump around when you get excited, i love the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about, i love the way you play with those trinkets of yours, i love the way when i rant about something you actually listen, even though i’m not talking to anyone but myself and even though we’re supposed to be enemies because no one has ever cared about me that much before. i love you and you don’t even notice. and that drives me up the wall.”
“what do you mean ‘you love me’? i see the way you look at grayson. i hear you giggle when they say something flirty to you. i see how flustered you get when they smirk at you. i notice these things, y/n, i notice. and i notice that i’m never on the receiving end of these actions. oh my gods, i wish you looked at me like that. like i’m the only one that’s for you. like the world could be ending but at least we’re together.”
“did you ever stop to think that i was doing it for you to be jealous? because funnily enough, i did. i thought i could distract my own jealousy and anger and pain by becoming obsessed with grayson. i don’t know exactly what i expected from it, but i know that i didn’t expect to imagine that me and grayson’s interactions were ours.”
“...did you really?”
“of course i did. and i meant every word of loving you too. i truly love you, leo. and it’s kinda weird i’m saying this because i know you’re not supposed to drop the bomb this early on-“
he interrupted you with a kiss. his lips were chapped and tasted a little like chocolate.
“i love you too, y/n. and i’m sorry about all the things i caused.”
“don’t worry about all that, because at least we’re together, eh?” he grinned that perfect smile of his.
“at least we’re together.” he said, then placing his lips back onto yours.
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