#but realistically that is not going to happen

[dreamsteddie]

Wowza. Part one blew up way more than I thought it would so here! Part two! I do have more thoughts about this so there might be a couple more parts to come. We'll see ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

------

Eddie takes half a second to consider just not answering. Maybe throwing his phone away and never going back to the restaurant they went to last night so he never has to confront whatever it is that's about to happen. Maybe even fleeing the country and living alone on a sheep farm with no friends and go relationships ever again so something like this never happens again.

But then he thinks of Steve. Kind, funny Steve with the bright eyes and soft skin who looked at Eddie like he could fall in love with him and he knows that whatever comes next, Steve deserves for Eddie to see it through with him.

New Message: Steve H.

Hey

Just that one word sends Eddie's heart into his throat. He can see that Steve is still typing, those little ellipses of doom popping on and off the screen. Realistically, Steve probably doesn't know what happened, right? Eddie's pretty sure Steve wasn't in on it and it's been less than an hour since Eddie himself found out, so probably not.

Steve H: Gareth called me

Fuck.

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.

If Eddie's heart was in his throat at the first text, the second one has it dropping through his body and out of his goddamned ass. It's not that he doesn't want Steve to know. He was always planning to tell him, he was just hoping he could be the one to do it. Gareth being a little shit and calling Steve first was not part of the plan.

Steve H: He told be about the prank. I'm sorry if I wasn't what you expected and you were just being nice. We can pretend it never happened. No hard feelings.

Eddie slams his head into his pillow. This is such a cluster fuck he can hardly bring himself to look at the text but he needs to come up with some kind of response, like, yesterday if he wants any chance of keeping the man of his dreams from running for the hills because apparently, Eddie's friends are trying to destroy his life. He takes a deep breath and starts typing.

Eddie: Hey, I'm so sorry about that. I just found out about what they did an hour ago at practice. I didn't think they would just call you out of the blue like that, I was just about to text you.

Not completely true, but Eddie was going to text him about it, just after screaming into his pillow and making a couple Vudu dolls first.

Eddie: For what it's worth I really do like you and I would love to still take you out on that second date, but I understand if my friends scared you off and you want nothing to do with me. I know it's fucked up.

It takes a minute for Steve to respond, the typing bubbles ebbing and flowing as Steve types and retypes whatever it is he wants to say. Eddie is about ready to call it a wash and start googling sheep farms for sale in Ireland when a new text comes in, dispelling all thoughts of learning to sheer wool.

Steve H: Are you sure?

And fuck if that doesn't hurt his heart. Eddie has spent all of two and a half hours with Steve, he's a virtual stranger, but Eddie can swear he can feel all of Steve's secondhand insecurity through that one lonely sentence. Before he even registers what he's asking, he send a quick reply.

Eddie: Can I Facetime you?

Before Eddie can try to rethink his decision, his screen lights up with a notification. Steve is calling him.

Eddie scrambles to answer, fumbling his phone a little in his haste and almost missing the call completely. He manages to get it on the last ring, breathing heavily in a way he knows can't be flattering.

All thoughts about his lack of dexterity fly out the window when he looks into his screen. On their date, Steve was perfectly put together. Hair meticulously done, clothes freshly pressed, and a light sheen of lipgloss accentuating the perfect curve of his mouth. While Steve is still beautiful through the lens of his camera, it's clear that he's been crying. His eyes are red and a little puffy, hair out of order in a way Eddie thinks is probably unusual for him, and Eddie can see that he's wearing a well-loved beige hoodie.

"Hi," Steve says, waving a shy hand almost the same way he had last night.

"Hey sweetheart," Eddie says, keeping his voice low and gentle, desperate to soothe Steve however he can through the distance of their phones.

For a minute they just look at each other, neither one knowing what to say in a situation like this. Eddie sees Steve gearing up to say something, but he cuts in before he starts. There's something he needs to say while Steve can see him face to face.

"I'm really sorry about what happened!" He says, much lounder than he intended. "My friends were being dicks. I haven't dated in a while and instead of being normal fucking people they set up this whole stupid prank but I swear I wasn't in on it!"

Something about what he says draws a small smile from the corner of Steve's mouth, so Eddie keeps talking. "Besides, if they wanted to prank me they should have picked someone that isn't a literal fucking model in disguise. There wasn't a chance in hell I wasn't going to beg you for that second date."

At that, Steve gives a little chuckle and it lifts Eddie's heart from where it'd fallen onto the floor and puts in back in his chest 10 times lighter than before.

"Jesus, are you always such a flirt Munson?" he says.

"Only when the boys are especially pretty," Eddie responds.

Steve gives another little laugh at that before sobering up. He gives Eddie a long look through the phone, and Eddie lets him.

"Are you sure you don't want to just call it quits here man? Gareth was pretty adamant that I'm not the kind of guy you usually go for. I don't want you to feel like you have to humor me out of kindness." There's a forced flippancy to Steve's words that Eddie knows well from his own Munson Coping Strategies Handbook. Steve is trying to give him an out, but Eddie can tell that he doesn't want to.

For the first time since this all started, Eddie is well and truly mad. Gareth and Jeff had absolutely no business poking around in his love life in the first place, but now they've reached out to the guy Eddie already told them he liked to what? Tell him never mind actually, we don't think you're the right guy for our friend even though he told us very explicitly how into you he is.

Eddie lets all the frustration, anger, and tenuous hope building up in his chest fuel his reply. This one has to count, he can feel it. It's a charisma saving throw with the whole campaign on the line. He can't miss this one.

"Honestly Steve, if you asked me two days ago what I was looking for in a partner, I probably would have said I wanted to date another alternative metalhead or punk who likes playing DnD and getting high on the weekend." Eddie can see Steve's shoulders slump as his eyes dart away, but he pushes on, determined to make his point.

"But, I haven't had as good a time as we had last night in a really long time." Steve looks back up, eyes alight with the same tentative hope Eddie himself is channeling. "I think you're funny and interesting, and you have the absolute worst takes on ice cream flavors, and you're hot as hell. Like, seriously the hottest guy I've ever seen in real life."

Steve smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling.

Critical success.

"So, about that second date."

-------

Tag List

@wheneverfeasible @the-dark-hearts @sofadofax @wrenisfangirling @whatfinestandsfor @lilpomelito @raisedbylibrarians @ollyxar @mugloversonly @xxbottlecapx @hezaaxdexangelous @kimsnooks @that-one-gay-crow

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

This is misinformation please stop spreading it for fucks sake I'm sick of people spreading this goddamn proven false conspiracy theory on my dash there are NOT missing votes. They are being counted. Goddamn it. You're making us all look like Stop The Steal morons. We are better than this. This is also old news I've seen this post for almost a week now. There's also now a fucking Elon 'stole' the election conspiracy going around now too and it is just as false. I'm sick of reblogging it with the accurate info and I'm sure my followers are sick of seeing it too. You all need to STOP. You need to ACCEPT. We lost, Okay? it was NOT a landslide, recent tallies prove that. I'm so tired of repeating myself but I want people to understand they are being made fools of by hopes and denial when we need acceptance and resistance now.

The title on this one and the thumbnail are slightly misleading but Lawrence goes into the numbers on how this wasn't as much of a landslide as it is being portrayed as, current as of yesterday. It's worth the listen, about 15 minutes of your time.

I will post this ONE more time for the people in the back. I am exhausted. This is not being 'defeatist', this is being realistic and accepting. There was no fraud last election and there wasn't major fraud in this one. There were some idiots who burned some ballots, WAY LESS than many reported (None in georgia btw). Most were saved by anti fire mechanisms in the ballot boxes, only some 450 ish were lost and people were contacted to 'cure' those.

The count is STILL ongoing- That's why we don't know yet the entire house and senate.

Please people I am begging you all to use your heads. I know it is tempting to want to believe this couldn't possibly have happened but it did, and we need to move on from here. A lot of places are already vouching to resist Mr.Dump in every way they can, even refusing to mass deport even if ordered. If we're all stuck on the conspiracy theories how are we going to pay attention to what's actually happening right now and resist it?

I haven’t really seen any of the more recent U.S. election news hitting tumblr yet so here’s some updates (now edited with sources added):

There’s evidence of Trump cheating and interfering with the election.

Possible Russian interference.

Mail-in ballots are not being counted or “recognized” in multiple (notably swing) states.

30+ bomb threats were called in and shut down polling stations on Election Day.

20+ million votes are still unaccounted for, and that’s just to have the same voter turnout as 2020.

There was record voter turnout and new/first-time voter registration this year. We definitely should be well over the turnout in 2020.

U.S. citizens are using this site to demand, not only a recount, but a complete investigation into election fraud and interference for the reasons stated above:

Here is what I submitted as an example:

An investigation for election interference and fraud is required. We desperately need a recount or even a revote. The American people deserve the right to a free and fair election. There has been evidence unveiled of Trump cheating and committing election fraud which is illegal. There is some evidence of possible Russian interference. At least 30+ bomb threats were called in to polling places. Multiple, notably swing states, have ballots unaccounted for and voting machines not registering votes. Ballots and ballot boxes were tampered with and burned. Over 20 million votes that we know of are unaccounted for. With record turnout and new voter registration this year, there should be no possibility that there are less votes than even in the 2020 election.

Sources (working on finding more links but if anyone wants to add info, it’s appreciated):

FBI addressing Russian interference and bomb threats:

Emails released by Rachael Bellis (private account, can’t share original tweet) confirming Trump committing election fraud:

Pennsylvania's Centre County officials say they are working with their ballot scanner vendor to figure out why the county's mail-in ballot data is "not being recognized when uploaded to the elections software:”

Wisconsin recount:

[ID:

Multiple screenshots and images.

The first is a screenshot with a link and information for contacting the White House directly regarding election fraud. The instructions include choosing to leave a comment to President Joe Biden directly and to select election security as the reason.

The screenshot then instructs people to include any or all of the following information in a paragraph as a comment to the president:

32 fake bomb threats were called into Democratic leaning poll places, rendering polling places closed for at least an hour.

A lot of people reporting their ballots were not counted for various reasons.

This all occurred in swing states.

This is too coincidental that these things happen and swing in his favor after months of hinting at foul play.

Directly state that an investigation for tampering, interference, fraud is required, not just a recount.

The second image is from the FBI Twitter account that reads:

The FBI is aware of bomb threats to polling locations in several states, many of which appear to originate from Russian email domains. None of the threats have been determined to be credible thus far. https://t.co/j3YfajVK1m — FBI (@FBI) November 5, 2024

The next four Gmail screenshots of an email sent to Rachael Bellis from Chris T. Spackman that read together as follows:

Dear BELLIS, RACHAEL E., The Dauphin County Board of Elections received a challenge to your absentee ballot you applied for in the November 5, 2024 General Election. The challenge argues that a provision of the Pennsylvania Election Code takes precedence over the federal Uniformed and Overseas Citizens Absentee Voting Act (UOCAVA), which requires states and counties to permit U.S. citizens who move overseas to vote by absentee ballot for federal offices based on their last U.S. residential address.

The full text of the challenge that was filed appears below this email.

You may respond to the challenge in any of the following ways:

1. Call the Bureau of Registration and Election at (717) 780-6360;

2. Email a statement to the Bureau at Election election@dauphincounty.gov. Any statement you submit regarding the period during which you lived in Dauphin County, any family or connections that you still have here, and why you are now residing abroad would be read into the record.

3. Appear in person at a Board of Elections hearing scheduled for Friday, November 8 at a time to be determined in the Commissioners Public Hearing Room, 4th floor of Dauphin County Administration Building, 2 S 20d St, Harrisburg, PA 17111. The meeting is also likely to be livestreamed on Facebook on the Dauphin County channel.

Sincerely,

Christopher T Spackman

TEXT OF CHALLENGE BEGINS

Dear Dauphin County Board of Elections,

I am submitting this challenge to an absentee ballot application pursuant to 25 Pa. Stat.

3146.8(f).

25 Pa. Stat. 3146.8(f) Any person challenging an application for an absentee ballot, an absentee ballot, an application for a mail-in ballot or a mail-in ballot for any of the reasons provided in this act shall deposit the sum of ten dollars ($10.00) in cash with the county board, which sum shall only be refunded if the challenge is sustained or if the challenge is withdrawn within five (5) days after the primary or election. If the challenge is dismissed by any lawful order then the deposit shall be forfeited. The county board shall deposit all deposit money in the general fund of the…

The rest of the forwarded email is cut off.

The last image is a screenshot of the official statement from the Centre County, Pennsylvania Board of Commissioners released on November 6, 2024 that states:

Centre County Working with Ballot Scanner Vendor to Export Election Results.

(Bellefonte, PA) -Centre County Elections Office is working continuously to provide mail-in ballot data in order to post unofficial results.

To this point, all ballots have been scanned, including all mail-in ballots.

Centre County's Election team and IT team have identified that the data are successfully being exported from the mail-in ballot scanners, but that the data is not being recognized when uploaded to the elections software.

Centre County's Administrator, John Franek, Jr. stated, "We have not stopped working, and we will continue to work until unofficial results are posted and reported to the Pennsylvania Department of State."

As a next step, Centre County has begun working with the equipment vendor to adjust configurations to make the two systems-the mail-in ballot scanner and the elections software where data are uploaded -compatible with one another.

We will provide updates as we make progress.

/end ID]

[muwapsturniolo]

𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐟💨 Matt sturniolo

“ did you just?”

✗ Awkward asf but realistic, NSFW, sex, mentions of queefing, secondhand embarrassment, that’s it me thinks.

You wanted the world to swallow you whole, you wanted to disappear.

You knew it was a semi-normal thing to happen, yet you were still embarrassed. It happened to most girls when having sex, although you never thought it would happen to you - It’s never happened to you until now.

Your legs were spread wide open, a pair of rough hands pushing the back of your knees on either side of your head - You were in heaven. “O-oh fuck Matt,'' he groaned in retaliation, his hips driving into you harder, the squelching of your essence filling the room.

Every once in a while, you noticed Matt would make a face, his hips stuttering. You didn’t know why, you figured he was just struggling not to cum quickly and paint your insides that shade of white that you both love.

You didn't think much of it, he always made faces when you two were having sex.

He was very expressive.

You were so lost in the pleasure Matt was providing you, you missed a specific sound that came from your body. When Matt suddenly stopped all movement, you were confused.

Why did he stop?

Did he cum already?

Why is he staring at you with wide eyes?

Did you accidentally call him daddy again?

All you two could do was stare at each other for a solid minute or so, before you finally spoke up.

“W-why did you stop?”

“I uh…d-did you just…”

Your brows furrow in confusion, did you what? What is he talking about?

“Did I what Matt?”

He stares at you silently, the only sound in the room being the both of you breathing harshly from the sexual escapades that had come to a halt.

“N-nothing, never mind.” He shakes his head as he tries to dismiss whatever he was talking about. You didn’t have the chance to interrogate him further, his hips resuming their actions.

However, he only got about five more pumps in before you finally heard it.

You were mortified, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you stare at him with wide eyes. He met your gaze, his eyes equally as big as his actions halted once more.

“Did you just far-No!” You quickly cut him off, your cheeks hot and your heart beating fast.

“It’s ok if you did…I mean, it doesn’t smell - Plus, I know you had dairy, and you’re lactose intolerant, so it makes sense.”

You could not believe the words coming out of his mouth, you couldn’t believe this is happening to you out of all people.

“Matt, I didn’t -'' you wave your hands around, hoping he would get the gist of what you were saying.

You didn’t know why you hated the word fart, maybe it was because your parents raised you to say ‘passed gas’, and the word fart was too cringy for you.

“You didn’t? Then what the hell was that?”

“I-I think I queefed I-I don’t know!" Matt could tell you were flustered, your tone becoming defensive. “Ok, ok! Just calm down!” He lowers your legs and rubs at your thighs for comfort, attempting to calm you down as he remains inside you.

After a few minutes of silence, he speaks up. “D-did you want me to keep going or…?” He trails off, unsure of what you want.

To be honest, the mood for both of you was somewhat ruined. He wouldn't be shocked if you told him to stop. Hell, he was sure you probably would hold off on having sex for a while after this as well.

Much to his surprise, you nodded.

“Y-yeah, yeah you can keep going.” You try to push the awkward tension away, hoping, praying, begging that you wouldn’t queef again.

He nods and begins to thrust softly once more. You were tense, anxious your body would do it again, but it didn’t. You allow yourself to relax, to feel the pleasure once more.

Matt sees this and picks up the pace, drawing out soft moans and mewls from you. Despite your orgasm dwindling from the first two times he had stopped his ministrations, it was quickly rebuilding itself.

Matt could tell, and he was determined to push you over the edge.

He grabs your leg and throws it over his shoulder, planting his hands on both sides of your head as he drives his cock deeper into your aching cunt. The sexual energy in the room was potent, the previous moment long forgotten as you both explored each other's bodies.

"Oh fuck m'close. Come on ba-"

It happened....Again.

“Ok ok stop!” You basically yell out. He stumbles back as you push him, his cock slipping out of you with a small pop, followed by even more air being released.

It sounded like a deflating balloon, almost like Donald Duck was in the room himself.

You were on the verge of tears, this was too embarrassing. It didn't help that Matt was smirking, biting his lip as he held back laughter.

"D-don't you dare say anything!" Matt raises his hands in surrender, backing up even more and moving to the other side of the room. You sigh and sit up slowly, hoping you wouldn't release anymore more air from your vaginal canal.

It didn't work.

You could feel the air passing through your folds, creating that wet farting noise - thanks to the bodily fluids you secreted- and making your folds ripple softly.

A soft snicker is heard, making your head dart to Matt. "Shut up! Don't laugh, it's not funny!" You shout as you throw a pillow at him. He cackles loudly, dodging the pillow at the same time.

"I'm sorry but it's funny! She's speaking to me!"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, "Mmcht, you're such a fucking boy." You mumble. You want to stand up and rush to the bathroom, but you didn't know if you could handle Matt's laughter at your excessive queefing.

"Get out."

"What? Baby come on, I'm sorry for laughing!"

"No, you're not. Now shut up and get out so I can go to the bathroom!" He holds back another round of laughter and slips on his boxers and sweatpants, quickly leaving the room and leaving you alone.

You waddle awkwardly to the bathroom, cringing every time another gush of air escapes you. As you stand in the bathroom, you quickly search up "How to get rid of queefs."

All you could find were multiple sources telling you there wasn't a way.

"Absolutely not, fuck this."

You try another search, " How to get rid of air down there."

Thankfully, you found an answer.

"Squatting down, especially while peeing, can help trapped air escape."

"This is great, but how the hell do you squat over a toilet without getting pee everywhere?" You mumble to yourself. You won't even deny it, your eyes dart over to the tub but you quickly dismiss that thought.

No way were you going to pop a squat and pee in your boyfriend's tub. You wouldn't hear the end of it.

You end up sitting backward on the toilet, your chest facing the lid as you do your best to squat.

Sure enough, you could feel the excess air release, echoing in the bathroom.

You finish up quickly, making sure to wipe and wash your hands before exiting the bathroom. As you walk out of the bathroom, you see Matt back in the room, sitting on his bed.

"Did you get that.... situated?" You roll your eyes and throw on your pajamas, laying back down on the bed. "You shut your damn mouth...And yes." He snickers softly and begins to situate himself between your legs, just as he always does.

The both of you sit in silence before he looks down at your clothed mound.

"So since you can speak, how do you fee-OW!" He winces as your hand comes down on the back of his head. He watches as you climb off the bed.

"Wait, where are you going?!"

"To Nick's room! At least he won't try to talk to my vagina as if it could talk back!"

He watches as you walk out the room, slamming the door in the process. He lays back down and chuckles to himself,

"I'm definitely changing her name in my phone to queef queen...maybe donald duck."

purrrrr im making this an awkward series! send in stuff that you would want to see!!!

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- when you're injured

SCOUPS:

he's speeding you to the hospital no matter how small the injury is. will lowkey make a big deal out of something as tiny as a cut. scolds you for not telling him sooner and for putting yourself in harms way. coddles you once you're home, refusing to let you touch a single piece of housework. he'll mother hen over you for at least a couple days before he accepts you're ready to be independent once again.

JEONGHAN:

laughs. (im so sorry) he will 100% start cackling first before he asks if you're okay. makes fun of you as he takes care of you and reenacts the moment for your viewing pleasure. scolds you for being so clumsy and will baby you as you recover.

JOSHUA:

the type of immediately jump into action. the moment you cry out in pain or he sees you falling, he's by your side as if he's teleported. holds you as he checks your injury, fussing over it and asking if you need to go to the hospital. will take you anyways even if you say no. holds your hand the whole time. tells you to be more careful cause he doesn't like seeing you in any sort of pain.

JUN:

if it's a particularly funny way you injury yourself, he'll eat that shit up. is too busy laughing to check if you're okay until you start crying and he'll be like oh shit it's real okay let me lock in. extra attentive once he realizes its serious.

HOSHI:

the type to let out a loud scream when he sees you go down with an injury - you'd think he was the one in pain. he wants to help, he swears - but he's just as lost as you are. the only thing he knows is to take you to the hospital for professionals to help you since he can't.

WONWOO:

is immediately playing doctor with the random bits of knowledge he's gained on the medical side of tiktok (why he's on the medical side of tiktok idk). he's meticulous and precise with it, taking care of you like it's his profession. will crack a few jokes (albeit quite poor jokes) to try and cheer you up. reads to you as you try to fall asleep, his attempt at distracting you from the pain.

WOOZI:

realistically, woozi hears about your injury over the phone. he's at work in his studio cooking up another massive banger, and isn't fazed when he picks up your call. you tend to call him at least twice to make sure he's eating anyways. worried when you tell him what happened and asks if you need him there with you. either way, he's packing up to leave asap, no longer in the mindset to work knowing you're in pain.

MINGHAO:

if your injury was your own fault, he'll look at you like: (¬_¬") he's sighing at your clumsiness and you can hear the disappointment as he tends to your injury, all the while nagging about how you've got to be more careful. calls his mom to ask which herbal medicine will fix you faster - jokingly comes back with ginseng tea, telling you its to fix your clumsy ass brain.

DK:

screeches when he sees you drop. gags at the sight of blood. he approaches you slowly, hands shaking to check if you're okay. he's inwardly very panicked and lowkey not hiding it well. this wasn't in the boyfriend handbook! he's ready to be there for you though, cheering you up with funny anecdotes about him and the boys, doing his best to make you laugh through the pain. he will do anything you need him to during recovery -- just far from blood and anything icky that might come with it.

MINGYU:

lowkey probably the cause of the injury (sorry gyu stans, yk i'm right tho) he apologizes profusely, stating that he is 'just a clumsy big boy' and cannot help that he just has a rougher hand with things. makes it up to you with snacks, cooking and cuddles. allows you to use this incident against him till the end of time, although he gets sulky every time you bring it up.

SEUNGKWAN:

complains that he's got to take care of you but does it lovingly anyways. "i'm doing this cause i love you. you're lucky i love you or i would've left you suffering ages ago." gives you that signature seungkwan side eye if the injury was your fault. chides you to be more careful.

VERNON:

his first instinct is to ease the pain with bad jokes. will ask you if you'd wanted it to happen 'is this the result you wanted, baby?' and will quickly stfu when you glare at him. follows your orders on how to take care of you cause he's lowkey very lost. puts on a movie once everything is done to help you relax and to take your mind off the pain.

DINO:

ya'll 100% were doing something stupid and got injured together. dino has that 'you say jump, i say how high' energy, and you're definitely both in pain because one of you was doing something for jokes and the other joined for fun. takes care of you while complaining about his own pain. is a big baby when its your turn to take care of him. tells you to never bring this up to his hyungs or else he will never hear the end of it.

[starboye]

starring: carmy berzatto x male reader

request: Imagine carmy buys one of those sex toys that is a silicon torso with a pussy and ass to fuck. Carmy totally slips the stolen panties on it and pretends to seduce and finger then fuck femboy reader before cumming hard and deep inside it. Maybe even breaking it with how hard he thrusts and how big his cock is. Totally can see him breaking and cumming hard and hitting his own face.

warnings: smut, cursing, pervy!carmy, sex toy

he needed you so bad, so bad it hurt even and as much as he wanted to bend you over and ram his dick into you until you were as obsessed with him as he was with you, but realistically that wasn't gonna happen so he settled for the third best option (you don't wanna heard about the second option).

he bought a silicon ass to fuck, the moment it delivered to his door and he unwrapped it his cock was straining to be let out and into it, he slipped your stolen underwear, that of which he got from your apartment when he was over one day, it's not like he purposely took the underwear, it was just laying around on the floor so he didn't wanna leave it there and risk someone else getting it.

the pair of underwear ending up in his nightstand and covered in cum is really unknown to him but anywho, he slips it one and quickly his mind starts imagining it was you, right under him layed back on his bed begging him to shove his cock in and how could he deny you.

slowly pushing his tip into the rubbery material and sinking in all the way to the base with a choked back moan, this was way better than jerking off that's for sure, his hips shuddered back and forth into the makeshift hole, the underwear helped with the image of you under him, cooing for him to go faster and faster.

he grips the plastic tightly and snaps his hips back and forth into it, small plaps being heard but his needy little groans growing louder and louder than those "fuck y/n you feel so good" he moans out, a bulge appearing in the toy, stretching it further and further until a tear appears in it slightly but he couldn't care less.

"shit shit shit" he curses, his thrusts becoming so strong that they break the top of the fake ass open and he quickly cums, some shooting onto his face but the rest flying all over his bed, his breath heavy as his mind speeds up with his body and sees the mess he made, quickly cleaning it all up before taking the toy and almost putting it away, he does have a free day so what's the worse that could happen.

taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09

[harpieisthecarpie]

Thanks for the peer review o7 i will use this power for ramble

I do think that a lot of the fic sex/romance issues were started in a genuine push to not spread misinformation, bc iirc fics used to parrot a lot of common myths re: intercourse (even moreso than now), especially ones about non-"traditional" non-cishet practices. And safety. And anatomy.

Which, it's cool and good to see a push for sex positivity and education! But I do feel there's now a pressure (internal or external) for the sexual aspects of fic to be textbook safe, sane, and consensual in all avenues.

I have 2 main reasons (beyond fic ≠ sex ed) that the squeaky clean route shouldn't be our only route. Which are: characterization, and erotica vs romance.

Firstly, characterization:

Intimacy can be an amazing way to explore characters, a relationship, or even a setting in your story. You can miss out on a lot by treating sex as simply a lesson rather than a tool in your narrative toolbelt!

Tbh I think the reason gen z ppl (like me) often say we "hate sex scenes" in media is bc they feel unnecessarily explicit or unnecessary in general, and we often don't have the language for what the problem is. Or we misattribute the ickiness to sex scenes happening at all!

I'm grayace and they can be boring af, or sometimes creepy as hell for reasons unrelated to the narrative (stop auteur directors now! /hj).

But one of my fave fave fave book series is the Binding Light trilogy by Freya Marske (I think the author's on tumblr actually), in which the sex scenes are narratively pivotal. And I, the sex scene hater, love the series sm I didn't even have to look up the title or author just now!! Unheard of!!!

These books are so dear to me bc the intimate scenes mirror both the (wonderful, superb) magic system AND the characters' relationships! Their sexual vulnerability and connection evolves alongside the characters' development. I've never before rambled about breathplay as a metaphor for trust, but Marske had me writing ESSAYS. My apologies to my friends' DMs

At first I had skipped those sex scenes, but once I had to go back for plot info, actually reading them made me go "oh holy shit this is all important".

I think stories miss that relevence pretty often. You don't NEED to have sex scenes, but also you CAN have them wherever it feels right.

IMO It's important to treat intimacy (of all kinds) in a work as character exploration first, rather than purely mile markers or something for characters (and writers) to "get a good grade in"

Moving on to erotica vs romance:

I've recently been watching a lot of SAVY WRITES BOOKS on youtube, and in one of her CoHo reviews she talked about the difference between works labelled "erotica" and "romance".

To her, romance novels have a sense of realism, they exist in a world that functions (at least adjacently) like ours. A romance would treat consent and safe sex like we do irl (or some historical equivalent based on setting). Basically, characters wouldn't be able to smash in a subway car without getting charged with public indecency.

Thus, if the characters were practicing BDSM, they would on some level acknowledge they're performing a scene (ex. consent check-ins and safewords). Here we have some level of RACK. Or if its unhealthy, there's framing acknowledging that fact!

Whereas erotica exists inside that BDSM scene! An erotic fic that tags its kinks and content correctly has given you enough for you to have informed consent. If you read the fic, you will thus be reading the "fantasy" of a BDSM scene. We know this isn't necessarily realistic or healthy, and that's fine! We read it with the knowledge it's not meant to be!

Uhhhh so. This was a really long way for me to explain "fanfic isn't sex ed so it's fine if they don't always use contraceptive"

tl;dr Intimacy and sex are cool for characterization. And smut is a Scene, if a person is informed of its contents all consent is accounted for :)

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[joequiinn]

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | epilogue

[chap seventeen] | [all chapters here]

Story Summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, slooow burn, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, dysfunctional family dynamics, idiots-to-lovers, smut & nsfw themes

a/n: Well, we've finally made it, everyone, and I'm feeling emotional about it. This epilogue is just a lil something I thought up while I was considering what the future would hold for Eddie and ice princess, and I love it dearly.

wc: 3.2k

Epilogue

September 1985

I want to be somewhere big and interesting. New York, L.A.… fuck, even Florida for all I care, I just want out of Hawkins, out of this town.” “Then I guess we’ll be those high school sweethearts that run off to L.A. together after graduation, huh?” “Oh, I’m sure.”

September 1987

Eddie should’ve been home by now. You’d memorized his work schedule within his first week of starting at VIP Records, so you knew his shift always ended at 6pm on Tuesdays - so where the hell was he? It was nearly 8:30, and you’d been getting more and more antsy as the minutes ticked by, worrying over what could possibly be delaying him like this.

So much had happened in the two years since you and Eddie began dating back in Hawkins - your world had changed so much that sometimes you felt like a completely different person. It started with some big things, like reintroducing Eddie to your parents and begging them to start fresh with him - though your father resolved to never show any warmth to your boyfriend, at least your mother was kinder.

You decide that you wouldn’t be going to college following graduation, instead wanting to take a year to work, which was yet another thing your father didn’t warm to. Somewhere amidst that decision and the subsequent string of arguments that followed, you found yourself spending more nights with Eddie and Wayne than you did with your own parents, until one day you realized you had informally moved into the Munson home. So, by the end of summer ‘86, you were out of your parents’ house and working full-time to save up for whatever may come next (and to pay rent, despite Wayne’s insistence that it was entirely unnecessary).

You weren’t sure who proposed the idea first, but you and Eddie had decided one day that you were going to move out to California. Initially, this was just some fantasy for the two of you, something to give you hope that you’d hightail it out of Hawkins one day, but over time that fantasy started to look more and more real until finally you agreed that maybe the idea wasn’t half bad at all.

So, you began to set aside more cash, began to look into neighborhoods and cities around Los Angeles, began to tell everyone that the two of you would be leaving town soon enough. No one really believed you at first - all your friends were in support of the idea, but they didn’t think it was particularly realistic. And when you mentioned it on one of the very rare occasions you saw your parents anymore, your father had the gall to laugh right in your face. That, of course, only bolstered your resolve to get the hell out of Indiana, and a lot of your freetime was slowly consumed with library visits to figure out how exactly to make this move happen.

You and Eddie finally made the leap a few months back, spending a couple weeks road tripping your way across the country, finally arriving in Los Angeles with only your most important earthly belongings and little else. Leaving Hawkins had been harder than you expected - leaving Wayne being the hardest - but you found California to be utterly refreshing, to fit you almost like a glove.

After living out of a hotel for a while, you found this cozy little apartment down in Long Beach, and you’d been content ever since; sure, it wasn’t perfect and the neighborhood wasn’t impressive, but it was your space, and that made it just right for you and Eddie. You both got jobs to hold you over for a while, you started visiting bars and venues, hell, you even found a stray cat that you quickly adopted without a second thought.

You’d been leaving the dollar theater after seeing a re-release of Labyrinth when the little calico found you - something about the film, and David Bowie, had totally mesmerized you when it came out the year prior, and Eddie was happy to take you to the special showing that night. So, when this cat approached you curiously and began weaving playfully between Eddie’s ankles, you were both immediately smitten. You named the cat Sir Didymus only to discover it was female a few weeks later, but it suited her rascally personality just fine, and thus her name stuck.

And now here you were, five months into your new California life and driving yourself crazy over where the hell Eddie was and why he was late to return home.

You called the record store and asked if maybe he was working late and forgot to mention it, but his coworker informed you that Eddie clocked out right on schedule; he mentioned that Eddie seemed eager to leave, but didn’t have any further information for you. On the one hand, it made you worry that something had happened, but on the other, you were annoyed that he had possibly made plans without telling you, as unlikely as that may be.

You’d tried to think of all the places in town that he could have gone to, but nothing seemed particularly viable - he wouldn’t have gone to a show without you, wouldn’t have gone to the store without you, wouldn’t have gone anywhere without you. Not unless he was keeping some kind of secret, but you couldn’t fathom what that might be.

Considering that today was your birthday, you had originally thought maybe he was making a special stop to get you flowers or a cake or a last minute gift; it was so like Eddie to do that, even after you insisted he didn’t need to get you anything at all. But once 7 o’clock hit, and then 7:30, and then 8pm, you began to doubt this original line of thought and assume the worst instead. 

Decidedly, a few minutes past 8, you’d thrown on one of Eddie’s sweaters and your shoes, and made the short trek down to the convenience store on the corner - the two of you were in there practically every day, so maybe one of the employees had seen him. The familiar night clerks greeted you, but when you asked about Eddie’s whereabouts, they didn’t have a clue, which made your worries grow even more. As if to put your mind at ease, they gave you a free 6-pack and said they’d call you if they saw him.

You returned back to the apartment to Sir Didymus crying for dinner, which made you realize you forgot to set out food for her earlier. Cursing to yourself, you filled her bowl and began to pace nervously, trying to consider where the hell Eddie could be. Did you forget about a show that he had previously mentioned? Or was he hit by a fucking truck? Maybe he got caught up chatting with a customer like he was one to do, or maybe he got fucking mugged. All possibilities were on the table, and you hated each and every one of them for causing you such worry and distress.

Prying open a window, you crawled onto the fire escape and lit a cigarette, hands shaky with anxiety as you pressed it to your lips. The night was relatively quiet for your neighborhood, which wasn’t saying much - there were always cars cruising up and down the road, music blasting from a nearby bar, and people constantly arguing in alleyways and backyards. But the noise was soothing in its way, reminding you that the world was constantly in motion and that Eddie was probably just caught up in it all.

Sir Didymus came to sit beside you, meowing as if she, too, was wondering where the hell Eddie was and why he wasn’t back home. You considered throwing on some clothes to go searching for him, but aside from the bar and the convenience store, there was nowhere in the area that he would be; moments like these made you wish you two hadn’t sold your car, because it would’ve been really convenient to have right about now.

Each time you heard tires screeching or saw headlights shining down the road, you craned your neck to get a better look, but it was never Eddie. You’d already nervously polished off two cigarettes and were lighting up a third; Sir Didymus had retired to sleeping on the pile of blankets that she commandeered within a few days of moving in.

As you were caught up in your anxious thoughts, you thought you’d heard metal music from somewhere nearby, muffled and far off, but it caused your ears to perk; when you realized that it was specifically a Dio song playing, you immediately shot to your feet, clambering back through the window while dropping your cigarette into the ashtray.

Without bothering to slip on shoes, you rushed out onto the breezeway connecting all the little apartments in your complex, gripping the rails as you tried to find the source of the music, which was obviously louder from this side of the building. The street in front of your complex was crowded with cars, so if the music was Eddie’s, he must have had to park way down the block; eventually, the music stopped, and you became more anxious by the second.

When finally you spotted Eddie walking up the sidewalk towards the gate, you all but rushed down the stairs to meet him halfway; Eddie smiled largely, clearly not able to make out your concern under the flickering lights illuminating the path. A glare grew in your eyes as you realized he looked just fine; in fact, it seemed he stopped by the store, if the grocery bag in his hand was anything to go on. He held up his arms to greet you, but before he could get a word out, you hissed while jabbing him in the chest.

“Where the hell have you been?” Your eyes were alight with panicked concern, and you didn’t realize until that moment that you were on the verge of relieved tears. You swallowed, determined to hold them back, “It’s almost 9 o’clock, Eddie, I was worried out of my fucking mind.”

Eddie’s face fell, arms drooping at his sides; he didn’t expect you to have gotten so worked up over him not returning on time. He thought he could surprise you, that he could do something nice for your birthday, but the utter panic in your expression told him otherwise. He dipped his head down towards yours, hoping that he could sooth all the stress that had bubbled up inside you.

“I should’ve called--”

“No shit.”

Eddie clenched his jaw a little, taking a breath - he wasn’t about to get upset with you, he wouldn’t let himself, “Let’s go upstairs, okay?”

The impulsive side of you wanted to argue with him right here and now, wanted to grill him about why he didn’t come home and what he was doing. The more patient part of you, however, held back, shaky breaths heaving in your chest as you nodded with a twisted expression. You spun around on your heels and marched up the stairs, crossing your arms with a scowl; Sir Didymus sat just outside your open door, curiously waiting for you both.

Following just a step behind you, Eddie sighed to himself as he took in your rigid posture, realizing that he should’ve thought this through - after all, since your move to Long Beach, the two of you were essentially attached at the hip, doing absolutely any and everything together. Of course you would worry when he didn’t come home, when he didn’t call or give you a heads up - but, again, he’d just been hoping to surprise you, and hadn’t considered that a few hours would get you as stressed as you were now.

Back in the apartment, you took large strides towards the open window and retrieved your cigarette from the ashtray. To calm yourself down, you began to pace, watching as Eddie closed the door behind him and waited there a moment as if to collect his thoughts; when he turned to face you, you quickly looked away and took a deep drag.

“God, Eddie, I’m trying not to be mad, okay, I was just so worried and I thought maybe there was something you were keeping from me or that maybe you were in an accident or even dead in a fucking ditch, and I know it’s ridiculous to get so worked up over only a few hours but--”

“You can be mad.” He interrupted the inevitable rambling that was about to commence.

You had always struggled to express emotions considering the household you grew up in, so these past two years with Eddie had been a learning experience for you, which led to your feelings often spilling over when they became overwhelming. You shot him a confused look, still struggling to this day with the idea that it was okay to feel something; you bit your tongue so that you wouldn’t keep babbling, trying to collect your thoughts.

“I should’ve told you where I was,” Eddie started, walking the short distance from the front door to the kitchen, gently dropping the grocery bag atop the counter, “but I wanted to surprise you.”

You laughed smally, feeling stupid for getting so worried over seemingly nothing. Shaking your head, you took a deep drag from the cigarette and turned to face the window, eyes unfocused as you looked around. You dropped your head, beginning to feel more and more stupid the more that you thought about it; you could hear Eddie coming up slowly behind you.

“Get out of your head,” He instructed gently, to which you laughed again, “You’re probably already kicking yourself, am I right? As if you did something wrong?”

You narrowed your eyes at his reflection in the window - fuck, he knew you too well. Slowly, you turned to face him again, but you kept your gaze on the floor. Eddie took another couple steps closer, waiting for you to eventually look up at him.

“I’m sorry, princess.” He said simply, and the pet name nearly caused you to smile fondly; even after all this time, it stuck, and you figured it wasn’t going anywhere. You could tell in his voice that Eddie saw you resisting to grin, “I should’ve called, I just got caught up in the surprise.”

The corner of your mouth pulled up, and you looked at Eddie carefully through your lashes; his smile was gentle and sweet, eyes far more adoring than you thought you really deserved. Swallowing your trepidation, you asked smally, “What surprise?”

Eddie’s smile grew larger as he cocked his head, “Your dual birthday-anniversary surprise.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, relief slowly relaxing your shoulders as you took a final small inhale of the cigarette before tossing it out the window, “My birthday is not our real anniversary and you know it.”

You smiled fondly at the memory of meeting each other at that picnic table behind the football field, at the crazy fake dating scheme you had that ultimately led you to where you were now. It felt like a lifetime again that senior year happened, and yet it still felt as if it was only yesterday.

“So maybe we have two anniversaries.” Eddie teased fondly, his eyes taking you in as if you were still a breath of fresh air to him. Under those soft, adoring eyes, you could feel your ears growing hot even still.

You sighed affectionately with a shake of your head, crossing your arms as a gust of wind came up through the window; being near the beach, the air was always unexpectedly cold at night. As you took in the always pleasant sight of Eddie, you realized he had a bandage just above his collarbone, which caused your brow to furrow with concern as you looked between it and his face.

“What happened?” You asked, closing the gap between you two so you could worry over whatever the hell was on his neck; you wondered if maybe he nicked himself shaving, but the bandage seemed far too large for that. Did he hurt himself at work?

As you reached for the bandage, Eddie laughed, capturing your wrists in his hands before you could touch his neck. You met his eyes with confusion, to which he simply shook his head.

“That’s the surprise.”

Your expression deadpanned, “You getting hurt is the surprise? Geez, babe, how romantic.”

Eddie laughed again, fondly rolling his eyes, “Not hurt in the way that you think.”

Clearly enjoying your confusion, Eddie released your grip and reached for the bandage, hissing a little as he tried to gently peel it off. Your jaw dropped in both surprise and confusion at the injury beneath it, not prepared for what it would be.

It was a tattoo, though that wasn’t the surprising part, considering that Eddie was slowly becoming covered in them. No, what took you aback was that the tattoo was quite clearly your lips, done in a shade almost identical to the lipstick color you’d been trying just the day before. You stared dumbly at it, as if you couldn’t quite compute it, as if you didn’t quite think it was real.

When you finally managed to draw your gaze back up to Eddie’s face, he was smiling from ear-to-ear, eyes twinkling with clear delight at your stunned expression. You opened and closed your mouth a couple of times as you tried to find your voice again, eyes rapidly looking back and forth from the tattoo to his face and back again.

“You… got a tattoo for me?” Your tone was one of disbelief; saying it out loud made the moment more real, and suddenly your throat felt tight as if you could cry.

Eddie nodded with pride, “You like it?”

You stared at the replica of your lips, recalling the evening prior when you’d been testing out make-up samples that you’d gotten from work. Eddie always enjoyed watching you apply make-up, and of course lipstick was his favorite part; when he commented on a shade that he seemed particularly fond of, you leaned over and planted a loud, silly kiss at the base of his neck.

Considering that you crawled out of bed hours before him to get to your shift at the make-up counter, you didn’t see whether or not he’d ever cleaned the lipstick off; evidently, he must have worn it like a badge of pride all day until he could finally get down to the tattoo parlor and make it permanent.

Shaking yourself from your reverie, you looked at Eddie lovingly, your eyes a little more wet; god, you’d gotten so much more emotional since he entered your life, it was nearly ridiculous. Or maybe you’d just become more vulnerable, far less skilled at holding back when it was just the two of you alone.

You cupped his cheeks gently, being extra careful not to go near the fresh tattoo, “God, I love you.”

The smile he gave you was dazzling, mesmerizing even, “I love you, princess.”

You drew his lips down to yours, resting your forehead gently to his; Eddie hummed contently, whispering a tender “happy birthday” against your lips before kissing you fiercely.

.

.

addt. a/n: I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Thank you to everyone who has read this fic and watched it grow, to those that have been commenting and messaging with each update, and to all the incredibly fic writers I've met through this story! And, of course, a HUGE THANK YOU to my dear @eddiernunson for being so invested - you've helped me developed so many ideas, and it's truly warmed my heart to see someone else love the ice princess as much as I do <3 If anyone would like to be tagged in any future outings these two may have in store, please let me know!

@3rd-conchord @a-queen-blr @adelalaaa @adversary713 @avalon-wolf

@costellation-hunter @daisy-munson @daisyridleyss @damon-loves-pie @damp4eddie

@dreamerjj @eddiernunson @feralgoblinbabe @frogtape @fromasgardandback

@fckyeahlames @graciehams @kellsck @kthomps914 @littlexdeaths

@lotrefcp @love-anonymous-writer @marrowfrog00 @maskofmirrors @mewchiili

@miaajaade @miss-celestial-being @mmmunson @moonisu @munsonssweets

@no-bueno-writer @nxrdamp @ollieolive @rach5ive @sapphire4082

@sav12321 @seatbacksandtraytables @sheneedsrocknroll92 @steeldaisies @stormgrl19

@teethvenom @tvserie-s-world @twihard28 @urlivingdeadgirl @v1per1ne

@wefracturedmotivation @welcometohellsock @whats-my-question @xxsxdghxstxx

[mommynott]

Smoke Sesh

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

This is the part 2 of my dealer!mattheo series! If you haven’t read the first part check it out here

More to come for this series and I’m SO excited💋

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, SMUT, chars 18 +, college au, dealer!mattheo, dealer!matt, drug use, weed use, flirting, naughty thoughts

After class ended for the day, you rushed out of the room. Eager for your meeting with Mattheo. You clutched your books tightly against your chest as your mind twirled over all of the possibilities that could come from this...Deal. Would he make a move? On the known shy girl? Maybe you had to have more realistic expectations.

Once getting to your dorm room you quickly changed into a short flowy sundress, touching up your hair and make-up. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you could feel your heart thump against your chest. You glided your smooth gloss across your lush lips once more before taking off to meet Matt.

The smell of weed reeked through the boy's halls, faint muffled music was heard from Matt’s dorm room as you slowly crept up to his door. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself before knocking on the door. -Tap tap tap- You took a step back just as the door opened, a cloud of smoke puffing out into your face while Theo and Enzo walked out laughing, the Italian shooting you a cheeky wink. “Aye, come in”

Mattheo’s voice was deep yet lazy, you stepped inside, the door shutting behind you. Matt was slumped down on his couch, both arms over the back of it as he manspread. Wearing a pair of grey sweats and a black tank. His muscles on full display for you. Fuck. A half-smoked joint in his right hand just as he brought it up to his lips. “I was wondering if you were actually going to show up little Miss Perfect.” Teasing you, the apples of your cheeks turned a shade of crimson.

“Well…I did ask you for some weed, did I not?”

Snarking back to him, you kept it playful yet friendly as a small smile sprawled across your face. But Mattheo’s? The most cruel and cunning smirk tugged on the corners of his lips. “You did, doll…Here I’ll get you some ready…” He started bagging the dry green flower, putting out the joint I. A nearby ashtray before his chocolate gaze shifted up to yours. “Y’know…Why don’t you chill for a bit? Smoke somethin’ with me.”

Mattheo wanted to smoke with me? Really? You brushed some of your silky hair behind your ear, glancing down to the floor before back over to the stoner. “Uh….I’m-“ Matt’s brows shot up in amusement right as he was sealing the little baggie, cutting off your words. "Why so hesitant?" He asked, the sly grin remaining on his chiseled face before placing the baggie next to a glass emerald bong.

A soft blush remained radiating off of your cheeks, feeling your heart quicken. You swallowed, trying to maintain some level of composure before answering. "I-I’m not hesitant…Just… surprised, I guess." Matt chuckled, leaning back on the couch while He motioned for you to sit down, patting the cozy cushion beside him.

“Nothin’ to be surprised about, doll”

There it was again. Doll. Fuck… the way it effortlessly rolled off his tongue was making you melt. You hesitated for a second before walking over and sitting down on the couch, leaving a small space between you and Mattheo. He turned towards you, taking in the sight of your sundress. His gaze lingered for a moment and you could feel your face growing even warmer under his intense stare. He was clearly checking you out and making it obvious at that.

You cleared your throat, trying to hide your nervousness as you looked at the bong and baggie on the table. Was this really happening? "Well, I've never smoked with my dealer before…" you admitted softly, batting your lashes up to him naturally. Another deep chuckle came from Mattheo while he started to pack the bong. "Even better."

A soft giggle huffed from you at his words while you shifted in your seat, this small movement causing your dress to slightly ride up on your thighs. “You look nice in that sundress…who you dressin’ up for?” Matt’s voice was deep, his reddened eyes down on the bong as he continued to prep it. “Oh…I- no one really.” You stumbled over your words. Surely your face was as red as a tomato by now.

Another lazy laugh escaped raggedly from his throat, lifting the bong to his lips as he lit up the weed and inhaled. His bloodshot honey gaze burned into yours from over the rim of the glass before blowing a thick cloud of smoke to the side. “Here…and just sayin’ you look good…pretty.” Mattheo’s smug smirk never left his face, passing the bong over to you as your dainty hands grabbed it.

“Thanks.”

Replying quickly in a soft tone, you felt a smile itching to form while you brought the pipe to your lips. Lighting up the weed you took a big hit of it before pulling away and coughing up a damn storm. Way to fucking go. “It’s good shit, no?” Matt asked you teasingly, taking the bong from you as he sat it back on the table. “Mhhmmm-“ Dragging out in a hum, you relaxed back against the cushioned couch. The high starting to hit you just right.

Mattheo’s dark eyes were glued to you, taking in all of your beauty. He couldn’t help himself, scooting over closer to you just a touch. Your thighs grazed over one another as you shifted your high stare to his. “You got some pretty eyes, doll” Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. How was this man so damn smooth? “Y-you think so…?” You stuttered out, subtly biting your lower lip. The weed was making you loosen up, bringing you out of your shell.

“I know so.”

He whispered lowly, his gaze dropping to your shiny lips before meeting with your eyes once more. Essentially doing the triangle method. Fuck. It was working. Matt quickly took another heavy puff from the bong, clearing it as the smoke poured out lazily from his mouth. “You’re really nice, Mattheo…” Your soft-spoken voice came out in a cute manner. Mattheo finding you and this whole interaction quite adorable.

“Eh…I’m only nice to pretty girls like you.” Again with the damn compliments, your smile brightened up to his as he stood up and patted his thighs. “Stay a while, doll…Want a drink?” Damn, he actually wanted to hang out? Relax. You nodded your head, feeling your throat tighten from the dryness of the cotton mouth.

“Sure…I’d love one.”

A sea of happy giggles left your lips as you took in Mattheo's dorm room. He went over to his mini fridge and grabbed two beer bottles. Plopping down right next to you once more. This time closer than before. So fucking close to you that the mixed smell of his musky cologne, cigarettes, and weed wafted around you. Fucking hell.

Taking one of the beer bottles, he placed the cap edge on his teeth, popping it open with his mouth and giving you a wink. “Here you go, sweet thing” Another fucking pet name. This man was driving you wild. Sipping on the beer you could feel Matt’s gaze burning into your side profile as he drank his own. You finally turned your head, locking eyes with him. But they were different…dangerous..darkened…mischievous.

Something was brewing in Mattheo’s mind. And what was that you may ask? He was thinking of you on all fours. Taking his thick cock as you scream out his name. Thinking of him smoking a blunt while you lazily road him, the sexy whimpers you’d make. All because of him. And he knew…He fucking knew he’d have you tonight.

Ahhhhhh !!!!! Dealer!mattheo has been SO fun to write, I hope you all have been enjoying!

@mattheoriddles-slutt here’s your update babes hehehe

As always, requests and asks are open smut sluts💋

Divider pinned in my masterlist🌙

[beevean]

I finished watching a playthrough of Mouthwashing

Beautiful experience I'm never going to touch again. I tip my hat at the sound design which in some parts made me nauseous (cutting Curly's leg most of all)

And the writing is commendable for so many aspects. The characterization of the crew, the out-of-order timeline that keeps the mysteries and build tension, the subtext of every line... but I want to praise most of all how realistic Jimmy's misogyny is.

In most stories I've experienced, the "sexist" character is nothing more than a caricature who walks around with a flashing neon "I FUCKING HATE WOMEN/MEN" sign. They exist to be a strawmen to be made a lesson of (or to be "cool", in some misandrists' cases), but they're not really characters.

Jimmy's sexism against Anya is realistic. He never outright says that she's lesser for being a woman. But every interaction with her shows how little he values her. He makes a jab at her never being admitted to medical school, but doesn't quite finish his sentence. He hijacks her role as Curly's nurse because she's too "sensitive" (that and perhaps his deep-seated desire of having power combined with his guilt). She never features in his guilt-induced delusions: Daisuke, who was mercy killed by Swansea after Jimmy endangered him, does, but Anya, who obviously killed herself out of trauma? Nah. But, what features is a womb-like thing with a "baby" in it, and the baby's cries can be heard even before, in the cemetery. The baby itself is seen as the real issue when Jimmy and Curly talk before the crash - even Curly doesn't seem to give a single shit about Anya's trauma, but simply wants to help Jimmy with the mess he made. I bet that, had he never impregnated her, no one would have cared.

Anya is not on the same levels at the others. Not intellectually, and not in dignity. Jimmy doesn't need to spell it out. Hell, while we don't see the rape happening, and it's not even outright confirmed but kept hush-hush as it often happens, it does fit Jimmy's craving for power. That is his fatal flaw. He loves to control others and have power over their lives, he just doesn't like dealing with the consequences of his actions. Plus, we see the way he speaks to the young, impressionable Daisuke, manipulating him into doing what he wants: who says he didn't employ the same tactics with Anya, who might as well be a child to him? (this is assuming he didn't just spike a drink, since he seemed to be very ready to go through that route when it came to Swansea...)

Beautiful writing. I shall now proceed to have nightmares about the red sea :)

[gloomybadger4life]

What if certain Fire Nation citizens start shipping zutara?

Eventually they form gatherings and a fanclub begins.

They speculate about their supposed romance and even draw or paint them together.

When Katara becomes an ambassador and Aang is off doing Air Nation rebuilding the fanclub holds their breath.

The Ember Island Players have a show that showcases a hypothetical version of the romance, with them getting together post agni kai (as it happens in many fics).

The play becomes insanely popular and is full of cheesy lines and speeches about hope.

A healed Azula who is staying on Ember Island goes to see it and she thinks it's hilarious. She secretly invites the firelord and the ambassador, making it look like it's for another play.

Mai runs into Azula at ember island, they have a heart to heart and reconcile after nearly murdering each other. Mai tells Azula that Zuko and her didn't work out ages ago, and that both agreed it was for the best. She takes Mai to see the play and Mai laughs out loud.

Katara and Zuko go to ember island because the invitation said something that appealed to their goals of peace and stopping propaganda.

By the end of the play; Katara nearly freezes the whole theater, Zuko is exhaling smoke. They talk each other out of committing arson and murder against the troupe.

A long conversation ensues where they list all the inaccuracies of the play. They end up sitting side by side on the beach, watching the sunrise.

Zuko makes a joke about Katara hopebending and she calls him the broodbender. They laugh the loudest they have in years.

Meanwhile...

Azula and Mai convince the troupe to bring the show to Caldera. They have become closer and Azula opens up about her healing journey. She asks Mai what she wants to do in life. Mai tells her that she doesn't know, but is glad to finally have the chance.

Azula tells her that she should probably apologize to the avatar for the whole death thing. Mai finds the wording hilarious. Azula offers her earth kingdom weed and they end up going to a restaurant. The food is delicious and they share mochis.

Azula comes out to Mai about questioning her orientation. Mai is shocked, she always believed. Azula and Ty lee were a thing in secret.

The princess breaks down about her biggest regret, forcing Ty Lee's hand. She wants to make amends. Mai ends up pleasantly surprised and puts a hand on her back.

...

Zuko and Katara are back in the palace. His whole council asks about the rumors and he is proud that the whole room doesn't go up in flames that instant.

Katara is questioned by Suki who finds it endearing. She tells Suki that they are just friends and that the play is not realistic.

Suki begins to realize Katara is lowkey gushing about Zuko and how good of a friend he is. And how he is attentive, and he always makes time.

Zuko is inadvertently gushing about Katara to Iroh, who is just listening.

Some time later Zuko asks Katara if she would like to go stargazing. And to get away from the rumours.

Katara agrees and they have a midnight picnic on a rooftop. They lay down side by side and talk about a million things. Zuko asks her if she ever wonders about who she would date. Katara tells him that she really doesn't picture herself with anyone. That after her and Aang split she hasn't found someone that sees her for her. She tells him that he is one of the very few people she can be herself with, and that being just Katara is refreshing. Zuko tells her he feels similarly, that he is glad she knows him for him, no title, that being seen as a person keeps him hopeful.

Their hands brush accidentally.........

One of the things I love about the Ember Island Players is that by trying to make fun of the possibility of romance between Zuko and Katara in the play-within-a-play, the show actually introduces Zutara as text into the world of the show, particularly in Fire Nation pop culture.

Like, there's this widely-advertised production that shows the Fire Prince and the Southern waterbending master falling in love. Then, probably the next thing the gen pop hears about their future Fire Lord is that he's jumped in front of his sister's lightning to save this same girl's life, doing absolutely nothing to beat those allegations.

There's just no way the gossip mill isn't churning. It's too juicy.

[slutforpringles]

The FEA collection seems to have prompted a bit a discourse on Daniel's lack of response (so far) on the Red Bull situation and fallout from SIngapore - and honestly @cecoeur and @billscciardo have articulated lot of how I feel about it all far better than I could have 🫶🏻.

While there is a part of me that would love to see Daniel go full scorched earth on Red Bull and publicly eviscerate both their treatment of him and especially the lies they have told about how it all played out, I also can't help but wonder if part of the reason that we haven't seen/heard anything from Daniel is because he still feels conflicted about what he wants to do.

Daniel's spent the last two years emphasising how Red Bull feels like home and a second family, highlighting how many current team members have been there throughout his entire career and that their belief in him and the way they welcomed him back into the team was so important and special to him, and was a big factor in helping him fall back in love with the sport. Even if he feels totally hurt/blindsided/betrayed by everything that has happened (very understandably), those other feelings don't just suddenly cease to exist, and I do not fault him in any way for wanting to grapple with his own probably difficult and conflicting emotions before unpacking them for the wider public, especially given the way the press have so often been so viciously cruel with how they have reported on Daniel.

And I think as much as I'd love to think that Daniel could publicly eviscerate Christian/Red Bull's upper management/board members, shareholders and decision makers without that affecting his ongoing relationship with those people, is kind of naive and just not realistic. Even if he currently hates Red Bull with every fibre of his being, I think hitting destruct on all of that without at least giving himself time to think it through is just not advisable or sensible.

Anyway these are just my thoughts about it. I wouldn't be surprised if there's also contractual/legal stipulations at play until the season (and Daniel's contract) is over, too.

[kecrow]

Mouthwashing and Abortion in AU's

(Apologies in advance for my English)

I really don't want to be the AU police but I feel like someone has to say this sooner or later

You can't have a 'Happy Ending' without killing Jimmy before he SA's Anya, not even with the abortion because that would still be a neutral ending

I think people forget that abortion is not a short and painless process and no, I've never had an abortion or even had my first kiss but guess what there's something called being informed and educated on the subject that you're in favor or against

And don't come at me with a clothespin because that just proves my point that a lot of people are very insensitive about the subject

If in your AU you say that Anya had an abortion, you have to think about how she did it on a ship, with her rapist, an Inter (Daisuke) and a mechanic (swansea)

That's the joke of AU's, to think of other possibilities and realities and put it into words

I understand why people might get angry/disgusted to see that Anya had the baby, nobody likes to know that the product of An act of evil and greed becomes a reality but it is the most realistic in Anya's situation because it is her situation in the game she only has two options

Have the baby or die

If you decide to write an AU where Anya aborts the baby you have to explain how it happened and you and I know that abortion is not a simple process without pain due to the conditions and situation Anya is in and if you as a reader do not like that Anya had the baby it is understandable but do not go around saying "she could have aborted it with a clothes hanger" because that only shows that you do not know what media literacy is or you do not understand what an abortion is at all

Please read,learn and understand if you decide to touch a such delicate subject like abortion igaf if you are in favor or against I just want that people

I just want people to understand that even though abortion would be the best thing for Anya (which it is) it doesn't mean it's possible. And if you want to make it possible, explain.

media literacy is not dead You just need to learn and learning is the best thing you can do as a human because we,humans were born to learn

(Sorry for my English again)

[theseeingfawn]

Chapter 9: The Hills Have Eyes Part 1

Summary:

Here is a short little smutty tease chapter for you lovely readers.   “Live dangerously and you live right” Goethe

Azriel

I have never wanted to kill someone more. Closing my eyes l force myself to calm down and take a deep breath. My heart rate slows, time suddenly shifting as if I have minutes instead of seconds to think this through. Realistically it's just the adrenaline sharpening my senses. I've always been at my best during a crisis. With Elain Archeron panting underneath me, and my ill tempered brother pounding on the door, this certainly qualifies as one.

There are so many ways this can go wrong but the only thing that matters is protecting Elain. 

I look down and see panic flash in those soft brown eyes. A sick demented part of me is turned on by the spark of fear I see there. I pang of need shoots through.  I;m intrigued to know how buttoned up, perfect sweet Elain would react when caught red handed. 

I stay exactly where I am, opting to relish the fleeting feeling of the press of my body into hers. She's soft and supple beneath me. I know I should move but I just don’t want to. No reasonable man would. 

Rhys’ impatient fist pounds into the door again, “Damnit, Azriel I know you’re in there.”

I fight back a smirk, something about pissing him off pleases me. Maybe it’s some psychological need to get back at his father through him. Maybe I just like being one of the only people who isn't afraid to piss him off. I can’t really be sure.  

I turn back to Elain, “Listen to me, you are going to go out my window and sneak into the sunroom. Got it?” She nods frantically, all the while my hand is still pressed firmly against her mouth. “Good girl.” I whisper and kiss her forehead just because I can. “I’ll take care of Rhys.”

I reluctantly drag myself off Elain and pull her to her feet. I take her soft hand and lead her to the window. I help her out, advising on the best way to descend the drain pipe. But to my surprise she is as sure footed as she is nimble making her way down. She’s just full of surprises.

Turning back to the door, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I hardly recognize the man I see there. He looks softer, almost happy. His pants are also fully tented, yeah that's a problem. I close my eyes, picturing the time I caught Cass experimenting with at home waxing which fixes that problem. As it always does and always will. I suppress a shudder.  The pounding at my door resumes and I resign myself to tackling the other problem.

I open the door calmly as if I hadn’t heard Rhys this whole time. He barrels through the door, his eyes searching for someone who is clearly not here. “Where is she?” he demands. I fight back a smirk, “Who?”

I watch as he slowly turns to face me, a look of pure rage that would rival my own as he says, “You. Know. Who.” Each one word syllable punctuated with malice. I furrow my brow in feigned confusion, “I honestly don’t know what you are on about.”

He huffs at me and bites out, “ Elain .”  

“Why would she be in here?” I ask innocently. 

“That’s an interesting question, why don’t you give me some ideas?” He retorts. 

“Because you are imagining things?” I say growing bored of this situation. 

“I know you had her in here. I know the two of you have been sneaking around. The others may buy that you both happen to have secret lovers that coincidentally are not each other, but I don’t.”

I refuse to respond, I just patiently wait for him to keep talking. The quiet unsettles him as he waits for a rebuttal that doesn’t come. 

He sighs, “Damnit Azriel, where is she?”

“I presume she is downstairs, where you last saw her.” He closes his eyes in annoyance. 

“You are to stay away from her, Azriel.” I tense at his order. 

“You can’t tell me to do that.” I snap back at him. 

“I just did and if you were smart you would want to stay away.” He rubs his brow, “Your job is dangerous.”

“You think I would put her in danger?” I ask, unable to help myself. 

“It's the very nature of what you do. You can’t even be honest with her about what you really are. You can’t reveal you're actually a Fed and maintain your cover with the criminal underground.” 

I bristle at his words, “I’ve told you. I don’t hide it from Cass or Mor.” I add feeling the cold bitterness of reality hitting me. 

He gives me a bewildered look, “The three of us have ties to your past, ties to some element of organized crime. But Elain has no connections. You will always have to hide her from what you do and what you do from her. She will ask questions you can’t answer and what happens if the Attors find out about her?”

“I’ll kill them,” I state without hesitation. 

“I know,”  he says sympathetically . “And you doing so will destroy everything you’ve worked for. It will jeopardize your relationship with the FBI and compromise your assets in the field.”

I shake my head, not wanting to hear what he’s saying. Not wanting to hear the truth. 

“So, you’ll stay away from her,” his tone final. I turn to walk out of the room when he adds, “because you were right to worry about Kier.”

I stop dead in my tracks and turn to look at my brother who collapses to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“What do you mean?” 

He lets out a long breath more rattled than I’ve ever seen him, “I looked closer at his books after our little chat and noticed a few discrepancies. At first I thought it was an accidental transfer to an old account but I started to notice a pattern. Every three weeks he deposits $25,000 in an offshore account.”

I nod. “The account is tied to an old LLC that my father used to own so I didn’t think much of it until a new transfer came in right at three weeks. I did some digging and found an old ledger with Hybern’s name on it.”

I freeze, sensing where this is going. “Kier has been working with Hybern? With the Attors?” 

He nods, “I think so.”

“Send me what you have and I'll do some intel.” I turn to walk away again. 

Before I can leave he adds, “You will stay away from her or I'll make you regret it.”

I freeze in the doorway. I know if I turn around my face will reveal everything I have tried so hard to conceal. He can't know what she means to me. If he did he would be even more alarmed. 

“I'll go to Devlon and tell him about your other activities… the ones you hide from the FBI.” The pang of betrayal hits me deep in the chest. My own brother no less. “If you need to fuck someone, find a biker chick at Amarantha’s or one of your underground hole in the walls. You aren't… ”

Before he can finish the sentence I'm barreling down the stairs and out the front door of the townhouse. I don’t stop to see if Elain made it back to the group. I can’t bear the thought of seeing her right now. 

I walk for what feels like hours before I'm level headed enough to go back to the townhouse. By the time I return everyone is gone. I take a look at the information Rhy left for me, deciding to focus on work as a distraction. 

From the looks of it, Rhys is right. Kier has been working with Hybern. So, I call Devlon to inform him. We come up with a way to fold Kier into the gun smuggling scheme and continue on with our plan. 

By the time the sunsets my mind goes back to Elain. I didn't even get the chance to tell her a proper goodbye. The thought of cutting all contact with no explanation after nearly fucking her in my room doesnt sit right. She deserves better than that. She deserves so much more than I can give her. If Rhys was right about anything, it was that. 

She deserves to hear from me that our little arrangement is over face to face. Even if I'm not allowed to be with her I will still have to be around her and I don't want to make it any harder on her than it needs to be. I resign myself to the conversation I have to have with her. 

I slip into the night and walk the few short blocks it takes to get to Petals. The walk gives me some time to mull over my words so that I can make this as painless as possible. I'm confident she’ll be able to move on. But, if I've learned anything from my years of pining for Mor, it's that once I’ve formed an attachment there is no going back. This is it for me. 

The shop is dark and closed up for the night. The faint smell of baked bread lingers around the front providing a modicum of comfort. I walk around the back and see the faint glow from her second story apartment window. The one I've gotten far too used to sneaking in to. A pang of nostalgia hits me as I realize this will be the last time. 

I pull myself up the lattice and push on the window. It opens easily and I'm able to slip in. The first thing I notice is the smell of sugar and lemons, a freshly baked pie sits on the counter cooling. I look around searching for Elain expecting her to be nearby given the state of the pie but her place is quiet. I call out to her softly, “Elain are you here? We need to talk.”

I hear nothing but the gentle sounds of the end of summer. The hymn of grasshoppers and frogs from the garden below. I debate whether or not she could have slipped out. I wrack my brain trying to think of where she could be. It’s not the right day for the knitting circle and her girls nights are typically here. Maybe she is at the store or with Lucien working on town council bullshit. I sigh, turning back toward the window ready to leave. 

But then I hear her, gently calling my name. “Yes,” I reply as I make my way to the back of her apartment to the only bedroom. Her door is cracked and buttery light spills out on the floor, “Listen, I just -”

My words die on my tongue as my jaw falls open, my eyes taking in the most beautiful sight I've ever witnessed.

A gentle vibration fills the air, and it seems to be coming from the pink object that Elain holds between her lush unblemished thighs spread wide and pressed against her bed. 

And Elain? Is completely naked, her gently curved body is on full display as she writhes from pleasure. Her head is thrown back as she moans desperately. 

“Azriel” she whimpers my name once more. A wave of arousal shoots straight to my cock. The feeling so intense I stumble forward slightly. 

“Holy gods,” I whisper in disbelief. 

Elain's head rolls to the side, eyes hooded, weighed down with lust as she looks around before her gaze finds mine. If she moans my name again I will die on the spot.

But she doesn't, a moment passes and then she screams in horror. That look of panic in her eyes comes back full force and I groan. Her fear only turns me on more. My dick is so hard I feel a bit lightheaded. I let out an uneasy breath because whatever I had planned for tonight is out the window. This, this is so much better. I smirk knowing I think best on my feet. 

Elain

I am frozen to the spot, unable to move. Horrified beyond what I thought possible. Azriel caught me masturbating with a sex toy. My chest is heaving trying to suck in air as my brain reels. Why is he just standing there and oh gods why is he smiling like that? 

“What are you doing here?” I practically shriek knowing full well my voice is two octaves higher than normal. “You can't just sneak into my window like that Azriel! Are you insane?”

His smirk disappears at the sound of my yelling.

I pull the pink sheet snuggly around my body. The vibrator shaking violently in my hand branding me like the harlot I am. I toss it to the side in mortification hoping I can somehow will it to vanish. 

To my horror, it only vibrates louder against the hardwood floor drawing Azriel's full attention to it. His eyes locked on it like it holds the secrets to the universe. 

I clammer off the bed, stepping forward as I snap my fingers in his face. Trying to get him to pay attention to anything else. I can’t watch him gawk at my sex toy any longer. 

I'm going to kill Nuala.

His head turns slowly back to me. “Out! Get out of here! You shouldn't be here... You shouldn’t have kissed me!” I shout at him trying to blame anyone but myself for this situation. 

“You kissed me!” He shouts back at me. His face flush. An uncharacteristic display of emotion form his usually stoic demeanor. He wasn’t expecting me to yell. 

“Impossible!” I say indignantly. How dare he come into my home and accuse me of kissing him. That doesn't sound like something I would do which is exactly what I tell him.

He grits his teeth, “Stop yelling at me.” His flushed cheeks start to fade as his cool mask falls back into place which only makes me more upset. How dare he be calm at a time like this. 

“You saw my vagina!” I screech as the panic escalates. 

“I saw a whole lot more than that sweetheart.” My cheeks burn my palms as I bury my face in my hands, ready to die of embarrassment. 

“Look,” he says in that stupidly calm tone, “I just came here to apologize for earlier when I took certain liberties with you in my room. I got carried away.” 

“Apology accepted,” I say as I grab his impossibly large bicep and try to shove him back toward the window. 

“Okay, but just don't be embarrassed. This is all my fault anyway,” he says guiltily. I nod because this is all his fault.

“Great,” I say as he turns toward the window. I pull the sheet tighter around me, thighs rubbing together spreading my arousal. 

“Wait,” he whispers as he turns around. My heart pounds against my chest as his eyes meet mine. A flash of something dangerous dances amongst the hazel as he takes a step toward me. Then another. My stomach hollows out and I feel my legs start to tremble. “You said my name.”

I gasp, “I did not.” I most assuredly did. Several times. 

“You did.” 

I shake my head, “did not.” Suddenly I feel childish and small in front of his intimidating confidence. 

“ Azriel,” he drags his name out on a moan. A devious smile pulls on those plush lips of his and I slink backward. 

He looks like he is about to devour me whole and I don't think I would put up a fight. I step around the edge of the bed trying to escape in vain.

“You are supposed to be the mature one.” I say defensively. That makes him smile wider. I trip over the edge of my floral comforter and he grabs onto my sheet and pulls me upright. 

His gaze falls back to the pink vibrator that's finally stopped buzzing on the floor. It no doubt lost all of its charge from vigorous use. “Do you need someone to do that for you?” He asks.

“I can do it fine on my own, thanks.” I say with all the grace I can muster at a time like this. 

“Are you sure about that angel Elain. ” He mocks.

How dare he use that nickname. “I kissed you, didn't I?” I say defensively. 

His smile grows wider, “So you admit it? You did kiss me.”

“I,” I wring my hand at my side. “I admit to nothing.”

“That's too bad,” his chin dips down as his eyes take me in. His tongue sweeps tauntingly over his bottom lip. “Do you remember telling me you want to be bad?”

His grip on the sheet tightens as he pushes me backward. “I'm thinking you heard me come through that window,” he smiles down at me smugly pushing me back a little further. “I think you knew I would come.”

He leans in closer, his hot breath caressing my already overheated skin, “You wanted to be caught.” He tuts and presses me firmly into the wall, “You said my name to lure me in here so I would see this perfect fucking body, didn’t you?” He asks, arrogant as ever. 

Before I get the chance to reply, he continues on, “You wanted it before you told yourself you should fight this feeling. You've been a good, proper girl but you don't want to be her anymore, do you?” 

I shudder because he’s right. I assumed he would seek me out. I had waited for hours for him to come. I even baked a pie to try and distract myself. But, I couldn’t wait. The longer it took the more I got worked up. I couldn’t stop thinking about how delicious it was to have him pressed between my thighs. How positively fiendish I felt when he covered my mouth with his rough hand. Even now the thought of him doing it again has me pressing my thighs together. So, yes I may have decided to take care of things myself. I wasn’t sure he would sneak in but I had hoped he would.

His grin is absolutely devious when he adds, “I want to see who you are when you drop the act and let that wickedness out.”

I’m going to ruin you, is what he said in his bedroom, when he pinned me down on the bed. No one has ever done that to me. Other men, Graysen even, treated me like I was made of glass. But not Azriel. I had touched a nerve. He didn’t like that I called him out and challenged him. That I saw him. I didn’t censor myself, I let that truth out and oh how I was rewarded. 

Something inside me snaps, I feel practically feral as I tear the sheet from his fist and throw it to the ground, barring myself to him.

“You want me to help you?”

“Azriel.” I whimper, trembling with need, his rough fingers ghost over mine.

“Yeah,” he groans, “Just like that. That’s exactly how you sounded when you moaned my name.” He runs his palm against my cheek savoring the feel of it. 

I bite my lip and lean my head back before closing my eyes. Waiting for him to devour me. But he doesn’t.

Instead I feel the cold air hit my sensitive nipples as he steps away. The swaggering smile is nothing short of pleased as he watches me. 

“I’d hate to misread this situation, though. So, if I’m right, if you want my help...” He rubs his hand across his sharp jaw. “You’ll have to ask nicely.”

A rough sound escapes my throat in protest, and before I can tell myself no to something I want for the millionth time in my life, I launch myself at him. 

I throw myself at his chest and bury my fingers in his hair. He catches me as I wrap my legs around his waist. “Please,” I beg, “please help me.”

He growls and throws me on the bed. Prowling on top of me like the predator he is. 

His eyes take me in, all of me and I feel my arousal pool in my lower belly. 

He curses under his breath as he traces my lips with his finger. “Open.” He commands and I do, eager to please him.

His textured skin glides across my smooth tongue and I moan. He eases his finger back out and I grab on with my teeth, sucking him in deeper. “Fuck,” he growls. I smirk around his finger and tease it with my tongue. He watches, eyes clouded with lust and awe. 

“Are you going to let me take care of you tonight? Because if you keep doing that I won’t be able to help myself. I’ll take what I need.” 

I release his finger, “Yes.” I want him to take what he needs.

He groans desperately, “Fuck, Elain.” 

I quirk an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head in disbelief, “You are going to be the death of me.” I try to stifle my giggle by biting my lower lip and he growls.

He leans down and pulls my lip free as he sucks into his mouth. His tongue sweeps inside, exploring, tasting, taking. The way he kisses is nothing short of possessive, pure hunger as he worships my mouth. He can have it, and any other part of me he wants. I’ve never needed anything or anyone more than I need him. 

“Tell me what you want Elain,” he pants into my mouth. 

“Touch me,” I beg, shaking with desperation. “Please Azriel I… I…”

He slides his hand down my neck and squeezes lightly, “here?” He teases.

Oh gods . I shudder under his touch. His eyes flit back up to mine and it’s obvious he didn’t expect me to like that . He curses again.

He smiles, his free hand moving down to my belly button, “here?” he asks innocently as he swirls his finger along the edge. Goosebumps spread like wildfire down across my needy skin. 

“Please.” I whimper again so so desperately.

His finger skates down in a feather-like tease to my center,  “Here?”

I moan at the slightest friction. “So. Fucking. Wet.”

He releases my neck, tracing my form with his hand as he glides it down my body. He kneels between my legs, grabbing my thighs as he lifts my legs. Taking my ankles into his large hands and props both of my feet on the bed, spreading me wide. 

“Gods Elain, you are just so beautiful,” he says eyes roaming over every inch of me before the land on my bare sex. “Are you going to let me fuck this pussy one day?”

I feel my core clench at his words and a fresh wave of arousal drips down my folds. A low guttural sound catches in his throat at the sight. 

“Even this pussy is begging so sweetly.”

I can’t help it, my legs start to shake, “Yes,” I gasp as I clench around nothing.

His right hand releases my ankle as he runs his finger tips up the sensitive skin of my leg. I quiver with anticipation, nearly crawling out of my skin. 

“Look at you, so needy for me.” Gods, his confidence would be infuriating if it weren’t so damn sexy. If he wasn’t right. 

His hand finally moves to my inner thigh and presses it down firmly. His thumb grazes close to the edge of my arousal. He takes his time before he finally slides his finger along my clit. My back arching off the bed as I moan loudly. 

He does it again, with more pressure and my knees come together as I shudder. He slaps my clit and I cry out from the sudden pleasure of it. “None of that,” he chides, “I want to see you.” I force my shaking legs apart as he strokes me over and over where I need him most. My legs threaten to close again and he forces my right thigh down. 

I’m desperate for more, I want him on top of me, inside me. I need him everywhere and the teasing is driving me insane. “Please,” I beg, not caring how desperate I sound.

His hooded eyes find mine and he shakes his head no. “I’m not done yet.”  

He leans forward and takes my pebbled nipple into his mouth and sucks hard. I cry out, my head pressing back into the mattress as I shove my needy pussy into his hand. He slaps it again and I begin to shake all over. 

“So. Responsive,” he coos as he takes my nipple between his teeth. “Is this why you’re always blushing, sweet girl? You’re always this worked up for me?”

“Yes,” I cry as he skillfully tortures out each little moan from me as he works my breasts and clit at the same time. 

He hums appreciatively, “Not so innocent then? Just a little slut underneath, hmm?”

I gasp at his crudeness at his… at his… oh gods I’m ready to cum. His words send me over the edge. 

But he abruptly pulls back his hand and I groan in frustration. I sit up on my elbows to get a better look at him. Our eyes lock as he brings his hand back between my legs. He notches a finger at my entrance.

“Show me Elain, show me just how bad you are.” I feel the slightest pressure of his finger entering me and I lose it. I grind myself fully down on his finger as if possessed. I rock my hips up and down riding him as I take what I need. 

“God that’s sexy,” he praises me. I feel my pleasure build but it’s not enough. “More,” I demand and he adds another finger. His thick fingers fill me deliciously, adding just the right amount of pressure, like he was made for me. 

My breasts bounce from the force of my movement. His eyes locked on them as he leans forward, licking and sucking at me with desperation. A pang of pleasure shutters through me and I realize I’m so close again. 

My moans coming out as chants as he continues to lavish me with praise. He tells me how wicked I am. How much he loves watching me fuck myself on his hand. That he can’t believe he gets to suck on these perfect tits. I’m so close I cry out his name as he presses his thumb into my clit and I shatter. 

He watches enraptured before he kisses me and I wrap my arms around him and draw him closer. We kiss until the aftershocks of my orgasam pass. Until my lips are swollen from his  gentle nips and teasing licks.

He tenderly pulls the wayward tendrils of hair from my face and buries his face into my neck and inhales deeply. 

Azriel

I’m buried in Elain’s neck and everything is so Godsdamned perfect. Her scent is so intoxicating that I feel half drugged. The sound of her screaming for me is still ringing in my ears like church bells. Her delicate fingers tease the ends of my hair making me tingle all over. For the first time in my life my head is completely quiet.

“Azriel?” I hear her angelic voice calling to me.

I muffled “Hmm?” comes out as I press my face further into her neck. Her soft hair tickles my nose but I don’t care. 

“Don’t you…” I hear her sigh, I force myself away from my favorite part of her.

“Don’t I?” I ask, confused. Her rosy cheeks tell me she is feeling shy again. A filthy thought more like. I know her too well to think she’s just being coy now. 

She points to my cock which is harder than steel and pressing against her like a helpless kitten. Just the thought of her wanting to touch it makes it twitch against my stomach. 

“You want to touch it, baby? Want to make me feel good?” I ask. She gives a nod as she rubs those shapely thighs together. Fuck me .

I lean forward and bury my face between the perkiest tits I’ve ever seen. I kiss my way to each one showing them each a little love. Leaving little marks so neither one feels left out. They are my friends now, it’s the least I could do. 

I feel her leg slide against my cock and groan. There is nothing, and I mean nothing I want more, than to bury myself in her right now but I won’t. 

I need to figure out this situation between us because after tonight there is no way I am giving her up. Fuck Rhys. Fuck the Attors. Fuck the FBI and Hybern and whoever the hell else stands in my way. I need to solve the problem first then get the reward. I need the incentive. Save something for later the rational part of my brain argues.

I also know, based on my recent experience with my hand, that I’ll blow my load in an embarrassingly short amount of time. I nearly did at least four times tonight and I’ve pictured Cass so many times in these kinds of scenarios that it’s starting to have the opposite effect. I shake my head. What the hell am I thinking? 

I grudgingly pull myself away from her chest and hate myself a little more. 

“As much as I would love that, I think we need to talk about what happened earlier.”

She sits up, making no effort to cover myself to my horror and delight.

“Earlier?” She asks with those big gorgeous doe eyes drinking me in like the last thing she wants to do is talk. 

“Yes sweetheart, with Rhys.” Her nose scrunches up and I see the desire slip from her eyes. 

She stands and walks out of the room, her heart shaped ass swaying. I say a silent prayer for strength as I follow after her. 

I watch as she prepares a tea kettle and motions for me to sit at the table. So, she is going to serve me naked. Fucking perfect. 

“What happened with Rhys?” she asks as she takes tea cups and saucers off her open shelving. She has to stand on her tip toes and bend over the counter to get them, a nightmare really. 

“He knows about us.” I say, I'm too distracted to temper my words. 

She turns to me startled, “He does?”

“Yes, though I didn’t confirm it outright. He told me to stay away from you.”

Her eyes flicker with rage for half a second before the emotion is gone. Replaced instead with annoyance. “He is worse than Feyre.”

I snort, “You have that right.”

“So, what now?” 

“Do you want to end this?” I ask gesturing between us. 

She purses her lips, “Of course not, do you?”

I chuckle, “After that?” I say tilting my head back to her bedroom, “I’m just getting started with you.” 

Her back is turned but I see her hand brace the countertop. She slowly looks at me over her shoulder and I know she isn’t done with me either. 

“So, what was his objection?” 

“My job mostly, but I think he doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.” I say truthfully. 

She turns to me fully and walks over and sits on my lap, “You are good Azriel, anyone would be lucky to have you. I’m just glad it gets to be me.”

My cold heart melts with her sweet words. “No one deserves you Elain, no one.”

She tries to object but I silence her with a kiss. I keep my hands on her face because if they touch her anywhere else I won't be able to stop. 

I pull away and rest my forehead against hers. “He is right about my job. It’s dangerous and as much as I wish it weren’t the case, you being connected with me puts you in danger. I can’t have that. Do you understand?”

She nods. “Good, we will just need to be more careful moving forward. Avoid any tempting situations.” I look down at where her still wet pussy is pressed against my cock. The wily little minx is smiling at me when I look back up. 

“No, we wouldn’t want that, would we?” She teases as she gets up. Mother save me .

I clear my throat, “You’re not going to ask about my job?” I ask, curious that she hasn’t brought it up. 

“No, you’ve told me you can’t talk about it and I trust you.” She says as if it’s that simple. Gods how I wish it were. 

“I need to figure some things out but I hope that in time I can share more with you. Believe me when I say I wish I could.”

Elain saunters over with the serving tray with our tea and two slices of lemon pie. She serves me still completely bare and I wonder for the hundredth time tonight how on earth I got so lucky. 

“I believe you,” she says softly. “I trust you and we agreed this was our secret from the beginning. Besides, I wouldn’t worry too much about Rhys.”

I smirk at my clever, wonderful Elain, “Why is that?”

“In a few short months he is going to have his hands full.”

[nohoperadio]

I want to record a surprising event that I can't explain.

Within the last ~half hour I started crying, like actual weeping with significantly wet face for several minutes. This basically never happens to me as I've talked about before, and the times I have cried in my adult life have always been during heated arguments with other people (that's not a generalization, it's a hard rule, I'm confident there have been zero exceptions to that between my late teens and today (I'm 32)). There's no one around right now, I'm alone in my flat.

The thing that triggered this was a vivid-but-vague memory of a paragraph of fiction that's excerpted in a Heidegger essay which I read more than ten years ago as a student, which at the time I remember finding well-constructed and compelling but not notably moving or anything. That paragraph has definitely come to mind a few times during the intervening years, but I mean that's a lot of years, I don't remember attaching any major significance to it at any point. But just now I couldn't stop running it over in my mind, as if I were trying to rewrite it myself from memory, and the key moments just kept making me cry again and again.

This all came about very suddenly with no build-up--in fact I was concentrating on something totally unrelated at the time and I had to stop doing that to focus on this--and it ended quite naturally once I'd turned over every little piece of what I remembered of the scene.

I have no idea what the novel (or whatever) the excerpt comes from was, although I'm sure I could track it down without too much trouble. I don't want to right now but obviously I will, it would be heartless not to take this as some kind of omen to go and read the book (yes, I know realistically I have no reason to expect the book to be anything special).

At the moment I'm just sitting in slight awe at the feeling that something which a) never ever happens, and which b) I have (rightly or wrongly) attached a lot of emotional significance to the fact that it never happens, has just happened, as far as I can tell for absolutely no reason.

[sheep-from-rad]

Wild request: yandere self aware Kyler from dol

Self Aware! Kylar × Reader 

Note: I received this request a long time ago. I didn’t know what DOL was so I went to research, played the game (didn’t survive day 1), played again in godmode (with cheats and all stats up), and then read fanfics. Now I’m just invested with the lore. I didn’t expect such a game to have deep ass lore. ALSO I'm a firm believer that Kylar speaks in gacha because he's a massive weeb (the cringe kind).

Warnings: Yandere content (it’s Kylar), stalking, Kylar bad end route 

Disclaimer: I’m writing and reading yandere fics to cope with stalking trauma. Yanderes are not to romanticize, or romanticize it, you do you after all (I'm not your moral compass). I don’t own DOL, it belongs to Vrelnir. I only own my fanfics and English is not my first language. Please be understanding. Thank you! 

MINORS DNI

Complete Masterlist 

This town has always been weird. Be it the monsters that lurk in the woods, the monstrosity of the blood moon, or his parents hidden deep in the mansion. For a long time now, he considers himself a silent watcher. The kid who flies under the radar is only noticed by bullies. The one with an inkling of horrors due witnessed with open eyes laden with indifference. He didn’t care about it until that person came around. 

He thinks he knows a lot about the town already but he can’t really figure you out. He sat at the back of the English class watching your every move wondering what could probably be happening. He has to know because he’s your lover. You don’t know it yet but soon you will. 

He looked at his notes again. It wasn’t class notes. The day he writes down notes for class will be the day all monstrosity of the town is gone. Kylar rereads the almost unintelligible scrawl. Firstly, he knows your rent is currently at 4,000 but that Armoire cabinet looked really out of place. Your rent also went up and down a couple of times. It went from 4000 one day and then suddenly went down to 100. Your wardrobe is also filled with expensive clothing too which does not make sense because massage jobs, housekeeping, and cafe work don't pay much. Honestly, why do you even work when you can just hide away with him? He’s rich enough and he can provide for you. 

Classes passed as usual and his eyes can’t help but just follow you. His body getting up from his seat, getting to the usual spot in the park before going to the usual schedule of watching. You are his, do you know that? Someone had to keep his darling safe and who else can do that but him. 

Sometimes he will just follow you at a distance, he always makes sure to be at least a block away so he has a cover in case you see him. But sometimes you just disappear. You disappear without a trace like you just teleported out. Nothing about you makes sense as well. He remembers you being this clumsy little thing the first time he saw you and that was yesterday. Today you’re this formidable person. You’re very athletic, your skills are high up, and you’re immediately the best in Mason’s class. There goes his dream of being your protector…

Days turned to weeks and to months, he would watch you flirt with different men, well until that day came. He finally got you in his basement, tied up in rough ropes. It’s necessary since you don’t understand it yet. He doesn’t want you running away. He thought that you’ll be defiant, that you’ll be kicking and screaming and cursing at his face but to his utmost joy, you’re obedient. So obedient it’s almost suspicious. 

You’re eating the food he makes, admiring his knives, listens to his words and he thinks you love the baby names too. Kylar went home today from school, he thinks your relationship had progressed to good terms. However when he’s walking towards the basement to cut the ropes, he blinked and found himself in English class. WHAT IS GOING ON? WAS HE JUST DAYDREAMING? HE HAS YOU ON HIS VERY HAND AND IT’S ALL A DAYDREAM? AND IT WAS SO REALISTIC TOO! It’s like he got hit by a massive universal debuff! 

Kylar followed you after school. He’s gonna try it like how his ‘daydream’ happened. He followed you as you walked the lengths of Danube street to get to the orphanage but your words made him stop. “So that’s how Kylar’s one bad end route goes. At least not as bad as the farm route. Should I go for the corrupted Sydney route next?” He watched as you raised your hands to check the stats and checked the cheats, raising Sydney’s corruption stats and lowering his jealousy. 

Kylar knew from that moment that you’re not just a rare gacha drop. You’re the UR+ card and he needs to take control of that rarity soon.

[frances-baby-houseman]

The other night I dreamed that my alarm kept going off and waking me up and then when I woke up to my actual alarm I was like, that was really a very weird and realistic dream!

and then I was helping joe get ready and he was like, mom a weird thing happened daddy came in my room in the middle of the night

and I was like what was going on! let's go ask him!

and it turned out that at 2am a smoke alarm battery started beeping and adam couldn't find it and he went in joe's room to take his battery out and then it turned out it was in alice's room

so I did not in fact dream that my alarm was going off, I was just being repeatedly awoken by the smoke alarm battery as was everyone else in my house and only adam understood that havoc that was being wreaked