#but progress is progress and I wouldn't want this to be any different and shit happens

[dixidin]

I made some Arthur from the hit podcast malevolent for Valentine's day. send tweet

@wam-my heyyy best frienddd, you'll never guess what I did

[teamatsumu]

primal. (miya osamu x reader)

word count: 2586

warnings: a/b/o dynamics, fem!omega reader, porn with minimal plot, swearing, typical omegaverse jargon (scent, heat, rut, slick, knot)

tags: @keiva1000 @kindnessspreads @msbyomimi @sleepyxxhead @priv-rose

This was getting ridiculous.

Three whole days Osamu had not spoken to you. And for what? Because of a stupid argument you had about his new menu? In your mind, if he didn't want constructive criticism, he really should not have asked you for your opinion.

(You tried to ignore the gnawing guilt you felt that maybe you had been too harsh.)

But still, was it worth being this upset about? He hadn't replied to any of your messages. His phone was going straight to voicemail, and to top it off, even Atsumu hadn't heard from him. The blond twin had told you to just give him some space, and that he was ‘going through it’. But you scoffed. What exactly was he going through? All this over a controversial menu item? You didn't know Osamu could be so unreasonable over something so stupid.

Which is why you were standing at his door now, knocking for the last ten fucking minutes, while he didn't even bother to respond or open up. Your knocking had now progressed to vicious pounding, and you didn't give a shit if the neighbours heard. You were pissed. Osamu was being a baby and not communicating with you and you would make him talk if it was the last thing you did.

“Open this fucking door, Osamu!” You shouted for the tenth time.

“Go away!” Finally. Now that Osamu had gotten tired of your incessant pounding, he had finally responded. Triumph coarsed through you.

“I knew you were in there!” One more smack on the wood. “Open up. Now!”

“I'm tellin’ ya to go away.” His voice sounded strained. Your eyebrows furrowed a bit.

“What's up with you?”

There was some shuffling, and then a pained groan. Your muscles stiffened in alarm.

“Samu?” You could feel your anger drain away, replaced by worry. “Are you okay? Open the door!”

“Just go away. Everythin’ is fine. I'm not mad at ya. I just need ya to…. get away.”

You couldn't ignore the pain in his voice anymore. You tried the doorknob again to no avail. “Please let me in. I'm getting worried.”

Silence again. You leaned against the door, your panic only building. “Samu, please.”

Your anger was non-existent now. It didn't matter to you whatever stupid fight you two had gotten into. Your paranoid mind was racing and all you could think about was a million different ways that Osamu might be hurt. If anything happened to him…

Your heart imperceptibly broke.

You had known Osamu since high school, when him and his brother would melt your brain with their unnecessary fighting and competition. He was young and naive then, with that godawful gray hair that he thankfully abandoned after high school, and an attitude so fiery it left most other people in the dust. You couldn't understand why you were so attracted to him at first glance, but then he presented as an Alpha mere months after you first met, and your attraction to him became quite clear.

More than anything else, Osamu was your close friend. He understood you in a way his twin didn't, and you liked to think you were a good friend to him too. You kept your feelings for him pretty tightly wrapped up in your heart, afraid that an Alpha like him wouldn't want you. He was desired widely by many, many omegas. And he had always turned them down. If all those prime omegas weren't good enough for him, you didn't stand a chance.

So you lived with him as your friend, because you would rather have that than nothing at all.

You knocked on the door again, more softly this time, knowing he was right on the other side. “Samu, please let me in. Let me see.”

There was a thunk. You assumed Osamu had leaned his forehead against the door. “Omega…”

It clicked in you, like gears fitting into place. Your heart raced. You shuffled closer to the door until there was no more space left. You sniffed carefully.

There was his scent, heady and musky, sandalwood and something you had come to associate only with Osamu. A scent you had loved for so long it made you want to buckle to your knees. It was strong, heavier than any time you had smelled it before. It made your eyes cross, your breath pause. Something in your core stirred.

“Your rut?” You mumbled. You knew he heard you.

Osamu groaned low in response. Your thighs clenched.

Over the years, you observed that Osamu's ruts were rare. Maybe once every three months. He would always disappear a few days beforehand, and didn't reappear until it was well over and done. Atsumu said that since his ruts were so spaced out, they would always hit really hard. So you tended to leave him alone until he reached out first, talking normally and as if nothing had happened, picking up where he left off.

In your anger and with your fight fresh in your mind, you didn't realize that Osamu had likely gone off the grid because of his rut, and not because he was ignoring you. Now you were standing here, mere inches from an Alpha in full rut, with your own core tightening and something wet slowly dripping down the crease of your thigh. Your inhibition was slowly dissipating the more you frantically tried to breathe his faint scent. Your omega purred and whined.

“I could help.” You dared say. “I could help you, Alpha.”

Another groan, low and desperate, and you felt like it was rattling through your very soul. You bit your lip hard, hand twitching to move between your thighs, but you remained frozen. Osamu didn't move away from the door. His pants grew louder, and then he whined.

“Are you sure?” His muffled voice came, almost broken with desire. He wanted- needed- you to say yes. You nodded vigorously even if he couldn't see you.

“Yes!”

Some thudding, clicking, and then he pulled open the door. Your breath caught at the sight of him.

He was gloriously shirtless, and his loose sweatpants were doing nothing to hide his problem either. His erection was obvious, straining and standing against the struggling material of his pants. It would look almost comical if you weren't horny out of your fucking mind right now. His bare torso shone with a thin layer of sweat. You bit your lip so hard you were sure you drew blood.

“Holy fuck, you smell good.” Osamu's nose, more sensitive with his rut, twitched. His eyelids fluttered, and he took in a deep breath. You stared at him some more, wondering if you were dreaming.

“What are ya standin’ there for? C’mere, Omega.”

He tugged on your arm, until your body was making contact with his. Your hands rested on his chest, and you could feel how rapidly his heart was beating. He leaned down until his face was mere inches from yours. His breath hit your lips, made them tingle. Your core clenched painfully. His scent got stronger.

“Ya sure ya want this?”

You didn’t even have the strength to nod, feeling lightheaded. You only tilted your face up until your lips brushed his. “Please.”

A breathy curse, and then he was kissing you. His arms wrapped tight around your back, like he was scared you would disappear, one hand gripping possessively over your hip. You suspected it would leave a bruise.

You wanted it to leave a bruise.

He left you breathless when your lips parted. He tugged you in further and shut the door with a loud bang, before pushing you back against it. The manhandling turned you on to no end, the thought that you were someone Osamu was about to use to satisfy himself. Your already aroused mind went wild at the notion and you arched into him when he crowded you against the door, lips meeting in a frenzy. He bit and licked your mouth raw, invading your mouth like he couldn’t bear to be apart from you. You dug your nails into his biceps, reveling in the feeling of him, of finally having him the way you wanted. Your panties were soaked through by now. Your inner thighs held the signs of your desire.

His lips traveled down your neck next, licking and biting, inhaling and exhaling as he scented you. His cock pressed into your hip and you let him satisfy his need to leave his mark on you, basking in his scent that mixed with yours and how he laid his claim on you, albeit temporarily. His hands gripped hard at your sides, pushing your shirt up to run over bare skin.

“Wanted this so bad.” He rasped, biting dangerously close to your scent gland, you leaned into the sting. “Every rut. Ya know how many times I’ve jerked off to ya?”

His accent was thick, his words slurred. You were sure he was completely gone by this point. You gripped his hair hard.

“Wanted you too, Alpha.” You whimpered back. “Touch me, god, please.”

Osamu lifted you up then, two strong hands grabbing your asscheeks and carrying you across the room to where his couch was located. You wrapped your arms around his neck, taking the opportunity to lap and nip at his neck, scenting him back. Your drenched walls fluttered around nothing, crying and weeping for a nice, thick knot to fill you up.

You had a suspicion you wouldn’t have to wait long.

When Osamu dropped you on the couch, his hands immediately tugged on your clothes, pulling off your jeans and panties in one go. The fabric clung to you with how wet it was, and the air was cool on your burning skin. You used the moment to pull off your top until you were bare before him. Osamu kissed your calf, traveling up quickly with a few kisses laid on your skin. Your thigh, your stomach, the valley of your breasts, your jaw. He had tugged his sweats down already, and you felt something hard poke at your dripping entrance.

“Can’t wait, baby.” His voice trembled. “Need ya now. Need to knot ya so bad I’m gonna explode.”

And then he was sliding into your slicked up but unprepped pussy, carving his way through your spasming walls until a sharp pain went through you. You gasped at the glorious stretch, at your walls recognising an Alpha cock and opening up to accommodate him. Your wetness ran down your ass, likely soiling Osamu’s couch but you doubted he cared. He was cursing and whining in your ear, spine bending forward at the relief of finally sinking into a wet, ready cunt. His face was flushed a deep red, sweat building on his forehead. He sank into you to the base, your toes tingling with the sensation of being so full.

“Hold on, omega.” His last words. They almost sounded like a threat. Your breath caught.

Then he was gripping your hips and holding you down, before fucking into you hard and fast. You gasped at the sudden pace, legs pushed even further open as his cock repeatedly bullied itself into you. Your jaw went slack at the sensation, how he hit you so deep, sloppy noises filling the air along with your cries and his moans. His skin slapped hard against yours, leaving the inside of your thighs red and tender. His cock hit every spot just right. You felt your toes curl.

Osamu watched your reactions, nearly delirious himself, barely holding on by a thread.

“Feel good?”

You nodded frantically, fingernails scratching over his shoulders and arms. Osamu leaned down on his elbows, tongue poking out to lick at your lips every now and then.

“Tell me how good it feels. Tell me.”

“I-” You gasped and jolted with the force of his thrusts. Tears built up in your eyes and spilled down the sides of your face. “Can’t- can’t talk.”

“Yes you can.” His hand wound into the hair at the back of your head, tugging hard until you arched into him. “Say it. Say ya love my cock.”

“Love your cock.” You managed to wail, clamping down hard on him. He cursed and leaned down further, pace not even faltering in the slightest. His lips sealed themselves against the skin of your neck and he sucked hard.

“Tell me how bad ya want my knot.”

“Want it so bad.” You parroted, losing every coherent thought and just going along with what he was saying. Osamu continued to pound into you like he wasn’t even talking, like he wasn’t rearranging your guts or turning your legs to jelly. Like the base of his cock wasn’t rapidly swelling and catching on the rim of your hole.

Osamu pushed himself deep into you before stilling completely, and you nearly weeped in frustration.

“Tell me why ya deserve my knot.” He gritted, eyes meeting yours. Little golden flecks shown in his irises, and his incisors elongated below his bottom lip. He was deep, deep in the clutches of his rut. Combined with his messed up hair and flushed cheeks, he looked wild. Uninhibited. Dangerous. Your pleasure hit its very peak, teetering just over the edge, begging for that last push. You sobbed.

“Wanted you for so long.” You gasped and cried, tears pouring from your cheeks. “Wanted you to fuck me and knot me and give me your cum. Please, Alpha, please. I’ll be so good for you.”

Osamu groaned. Something in his eyes softened. He hooked a hand under your left knee and tugged it up, folding it against your torso. His cock pulled out before pushing back in, slowly picking up his pace again. You moaned loud, feeling your pit tighten up again.

“Why don’t ya cum fer me nice and hard, baby? Get me wet with your juice and then I’ll fill you up. Promise. I’ll shove this fat knot into your tiny little cunt. Just cum fer me, little omega.”

And you did. You arched into him, eyes rolling and arms seizing as you came harder than you ever had in your life. Electricity zipped through you and all air was punched out of your lungs until you felt that your very soul was leaving your body. You didn’t even register when Osamu groaned and stuttered in his pace, or when his knot swelled until it was bullied into your thoroughly fucked out and sore pussy. White hot cum filled your insides as he locked into you, hips flush against your own.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist as Osamu’s comforting weight settled on you. He licked and lapped at your neck softly, breathing into you until you were nothing but his scent, his touches, his marks. You panted and tried to catch your breath, legs trembling with aftershocks of the event. You could barely lift your arms to run over his bare back, but you managed. Osamu hummed at your soft touch.

All was silent beneath you two as the fog of his rut lifted. You could feel him slowly cool down, get pliant against you. You could almost sense his apprehension.

“Do ya regret it?”

You smiled slightly, staring up at the ceiling. “I meant it, Samu. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

You could feel his own smile against your neck, his embrace around you tightening. “Me too.”

Your skin buzzed with warmth. While Osamu breathed softly against your neck, you let yourself drift into a quiet sleep.

[bippot]

Tomorrow's Tomorrow

Story Summary -> Before and after a mission, sober or drunken, Bob wants to spend his time with just one gal. Their friends are also rather amused by his obvious crush on her and like to document their interactions.

Tags -> Friends to Lovers, Drunkenness, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff

Would you prefer to read this on AO3? Click here!

"How's it going, cowboy?"

That was the greeting Bob craved every day. He felt like he needed it. If he was having the worst day of his life, he could hear that, and everything would seem brighter. And the smile she gave him? He felt like the luckiest guy on the face of Earth.

Boomerang was perfect for Bob. All of her was made for him in his mind. It was as if she was put on the globe to redden his cheeks and make his heart beat faster whenever he came within her sight.

Phoenix was the only one who picked up on the crush he had on Y/N. It was the way his spectacled gaze would linger on her for a moment too long. Or how he'd look down and smile to himself if she ever was nice to him. Or there was that one time he had just removed his helmet and his hair was all over and Y/N reached out to brush it back in place. Boy, did Bob fall silent and take the biggest gulp Nat had ever seen.

"So...Y/N, huh?" Natasha said, her voice teasing as she barged into Bob's room that he shared with Fanboy and got comfortable on his bed. When he didn't answer, she took the tip of her shoe and lightly nudged him in the bicep.

"Ew, don't touch me with that!" he whined, pushing her foot away. He had to do it several times since she kept swerving and jabbing him in different areas in an effort to get him to spill the beans. Eventually, he managed to catch her ankle and stop her from physically assaulting him. "Seriously, think about how much dirt is on the bottom of your shoe. Gross, Nat."

Natasha smirked as she watched him squirm. She found his discomfort very entertaining, and it got even more fun to watch as she taunted, "Fine, fine. It's been great catching up with you, Floyd, but I've got some hot gossip that I think Y/N, you know her - my roommate - would love to hear."

"You wouldn't!?!"

"Ah! I knew it!"

Shit. He let his head slump in defeat. As usual, Phoenix was right. Bob groaned, dragging his hand down his face as he accepted the fact that Nat would be watching his interactions with Y/N with eagle eyes and a knowing glint in them from now on. That was going to be annoying and soooo good for his confidence.

And that's how life went for a while - Bob desperately trying to seem cool and dateable to Boomerang whilst under the analytical watch of Phoenix, who was trying her best to be supportive, yet it often bordered on overbearing. He'd hardly made any 'progress', mostly because he was barely trying. It would be best if he ignored it. His crush would go away then, right?

All their conversations had been mostly platonic until one day when Bob was issued for yet another dangerous mission. The night before, a knock on his door broke him out of his preflight nerves. He opened it a crack to find Y/N smiling at him, standing on his doorstep in her pyjamas with a smallish bag on her shoulder.

"Hey, cowboy."

"Hey," he breathed, his heart pounding in his chest. "Mickey's with Ruben if you were looking for him."

"No. I was hoping to see you."

The way she said it sent a zing through his system. Bob's mouth went dry as he tried to formulate a response, so he stepped to the side and gestured that she could come inside if she wanted to.

"Nat may have mentioned that you tend to freak out before big missions and that nobody has checked up on you. So, here I am. Your knight in shining armour. Or whatever you want me to be."

Oh god, he wished that was the only thing Nat told her. No, Phoenix would never do that. Would she? No, no. Maybe? No, absolutely not.

"If you're not in the mood, just say, and I'll leave you alone. I know-"

"Stay! I mean, I'm in the mood. Not in that way, not in a sexy mood. A sociable mood and... He took a breath so his ramble wouldn't get any worse, then admitted, "I'd like you to stay."

Her wide-eyed expression was worth the embarrassment Bob had to endure. Her lips quivered upwards in amusement, and she smiled sweetly, her eyes twinkling with what seemed to be mirth and excitement. He couldn't help but smile back.

Since she had confirmation now, she reached into her bag and brought out her Switch. "That's good because I planned on completely wiping the floor with you on Mario Kart," she teased him, taking out one controller and passing it to Bob as they both sat down on his duvet.

He grinned, "Bless your heart; you're going to lose every single time, sweetheart," and if by magic, his accent became more prominent.

"Oh, it's on!"

Excitedly, the game began, their controllers in hand, as both started to laugh, play, and tease each other with ease and familiarity. It really was like nothing else mattered anymore as Bob focused on their little world. He forgot about all his problems, responsibilities, and worries for tomorrow. 

"You little fucker! How dare you blue shell me!"

"That's what you get, Floyd."

Originally, Y/N was going to take it easy on him, but he was great at the game and had managed to surprise her. With no hesitation, she took advantage of this opportunity to kick his ass and show him she wouldn't give in so easily even if he was cute as hell. He looked so adorable, all focused on the screen. His brows were furrowed, his lips pursed, and his tongue stuck out as he concentrated intensely.

It wasn't long until he noticed she had taken her eyes off the game and that they stared at him instead. Smiling sheepishly, he lowered the game controller and turned towards her, his eyes twinkling. "What? Do I have something on my face?" he asked, his cheeks flushing under her scrutiny.

"No, I'm just enjoying the sight of your face when you lose," she retorted without missing a beat. As a response, he lightly punched her on the shoulder, and she decided to go completely overboard. She clutched the area of impact and dramatically whined, "Ow, I think I've lost feeling. Fuck, it stings! You might have to amputate or something. You okay with blood? Lieutenant, you're so strong that my arm is no longer functional!"

Bob chuckled at her reaction, amused by the theatrics she was putting on but also touched that she cared enough about his well-being to try and cheer him up in such a way. A way that worked since he was feeling much better, better than he had in a while.

More and more matches were played. Y/N won a few. Bob won a few. They were on a competitive streak when Mickey returned to his room, surprised by their laughter. As he was playing, Bob had begun to fight dirty and was shielding Y/N's eyes as she tried to navigate blind.

"What place am I in?"

"Last."

"Bulshit!" She tried her hardest to wriggle away from his hand as she laughed in delight at their silliness. "Ha! I'm sixth!"

"Doesn't matter; you're still losing."

Mickey had been listening in through the door for a moment before he opened it fully and let himself in quietly, standing behind them, a large smirk on his face as he saw the scene before him - huddled together on his bed, Y/N and Bob were essentially playfighting as they kept swiping their hands in the others line of vision. 

At some point, Y/N had stolen Bob's glasses and had them perched on her nose in an effort to put him at a disadvantage, whereas Bob had squished Y/N between his back and the wall, moving his head and hand in the way of the screen at any chance he could. Mickey had never seen anything so adorable. He shook his head and quickly retrieved his phone to snap a picture before he ruined the moment.

"Hey, Boomerang," Mickey called out in a sing-song voice. Both paused what they were doing and looked at him as he distracted them from their game. "This looks cosy."

"Don't worry, we'll finish this race, then I'll let you get your precious beauty sleep, Garcia," she replied, trying her hardest to conceal how she didn't really want to leave and stop having fun.

With one final win by Bob, it was time for the pair to part ways. Following her to the door, Bob closed it behind him in an effort to get some form of privacy from Fanboy.

"Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for checking up on me."

"Anytime, cowboy." She smirked at him coyly, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I would say good luck, but with your skills? I really don't think you'll need it."

Before he could talk himself out of it, Bob brought her into a bear hug, burying his head into her shoulder, breathing deeply and trying not to sob like a child. His grip tightened when she hugged him back, pulling him closer as he tried to steady his mind. He felt like he needed to say something. Anything. But he couldn't bring himself to.

"I'll see you tomorrow. And tomorrow's tomorrow," she reassured as she pulled back to look at him, her smile brightening his entire being and causing butterflies to explode in his stomach. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss onto his cheek.

A million thoughts raced around in his brain, making the hairs on his arms stand up on end. Her eyes met his, a soft blush covering her cheeks as she shyly gave him a small wave, said "Night, cowboy," and departed to her room.

He stood there, stunned for a minute, until a smile slowly appeared on his face and spread uncontrollably as he realised what had just happened. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the door frame, trying to get his bearings. All he could feel was giddiness as he made his way back into his room.

"So...Y/N, huh?" 

"Shut up, Mickey."

Just as she thought it would, the mission went down a success. They came out the other side alive and in tip-top shape. No injuries. Nothing. Everything went perfectly according to plan, which was odd because Hangman had been chosen to fly too, and he went his own way on the occasion. 

"Tell me how good I looked getting out of my plane, Boomer," Hangman yelled over to Y/N once they landed on the ground, a huge grin splitting his face. She rolled her eyes as she walked toward him and accepted the hug that he was offering.

"You look like shit."

"Language! Baby on board might've heard that."

"Phoenix and Bob haven't landed yet."

Jake was about to say something else, but then they heard the familiar sounds of a plane getting closer and closer. They shared a knowing grin and moved away from the landing zone. A few moments later, the plane landed and the two pilots emerged in an instant.

"Bagman, you weren't insufferable. Good job, Jackass," Phoenix declared as she patted the taller man on the back.

"Praise like that warms my heart; it really does," he retorted, his joking tone attempting to hide how truthfully his statement was. But he did have a genuine smile on his face as he nodded approvingly, his pride clearly shown.

Coyote and Payback were congratulating Bob as Y/N did the same with Phoenix, and Rooster arrived on the field a few seconds later. Once he reached them, they exchanged hugs, a big grin on everyone's faces as they all congratulated each other again. In the celebration, Bob managed to catch Y/N's eye,, and she gave him a questioning thumbs up as if she were asking, 'How's it going, cowboy?' like always. He shyly returned the gesture, blushing slightly but pleased nevertheless.

In his head, Bob had it all planned out. He was going to get out of the cockpit and tug his helmet off - somehow his hair would stay perfectly styled in this dream - then he'd spot Boomerang. She'd be swooning the moment she saw him. He'd sweep her up in his arms and kiss her right there on the runway where anyone could see them. But that didn't happen. Of no fault of anyone, they happened to be dragged into conversations with other people. And by the time Bob got to her, his adrenaline had dipped significantly, and he found himself unable to go through with his plan. 

Instead, he simply stood there with his mouth open, then promptly closed it as she once again brushed his hair back into place when they were finally beside each other. "Hi," he greeted softly.

"Told you I'd see you tomorrow."

"Don't forget tomorrow's tomorrow."

And then she was hugging him and laughing and smiling, and he was drowning in the joys of being able to hug her back. The excitement and exhilaration coursed through his body in waves as she held onto him tightly, like she never wanted to let go. And in all honesty, neither did he. It didn't matter if the rest of the world could watch them - all he wanted to do was spend every single moment with this girl.

She pulled away first. She looked at him with a bright and radiant expression. He stared back at her, awestruck. Unable to look away from her. Unable to think straight. Unable to move.

The flash of a camera broke the spell. They both snapped their heads toward the source of the noise, realising that Rooster had seen the two of them and decided to immortalise it forever. He was looking at them both with a wide, stupid grin across his lips. There was no mistaking the gleam of amusement in his eyes. Bob glared at him as Y/N gave him a playful shove and muttered, "Stop smiling like that, creeper."

Unsurprisingly, The Hard Deck was where the celebration was held. Honestly, Bob wasn't much of a drinker. Sure, he'd been drinking before, but he didn't really like getting drunk all that much. Yet they'd almost died. Again. Why not? Why not have a little fun? That was the sentiment running around his head as he drank his cocktails. Why not get a little wild?

"To not dying!" Bob slurred to himself as he took a big gulp from the cocktail he'd just bought. If he was going to get wasted, the stuff he was drinking would have to taste good. That martini made him feel really wavy. The alcohol was starting to kick in; he was sure of it.

It became apparent how much it had kicked in as he walked up to Y/N as she was talking to Jake and Ruben and attached himself to her side like some sort of overly affectionate pet, swaying in time to whatever tune that was playing. She jumped at the unexpected side hug but eased when she saw who it was.

"Hey," he slurred, trying to come off as nonchalantly as he possibly could. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Bob, bud, how many drinks have you had?" Y/N questioned, looking down at his glass and then back up at his face, which was gorgeously flushed due to his intoxication. She couldn't help but smile as she watched him try to make sense of the words she spoke.

"I dunno. Like...a hundred or something?"

Hangman knew this was a golden opportunity to tease Bob. How could he not? That's how he shows affection to his friends. "Woah, one hundred? That's a world record, I'm sure," Jake barked mischievously, laughing at his friend's expense. Y/N shot him a glare and shook her head disapprovingly, but there was no denying how she smiled at his comment, no matter how hard she tried not to.

Since he was inebriated, Bob had no quals to retort, "Least I'd have a world record, man whore," and all of them let out a giggle at his insult. He then turned and looked directly at Y/N after finishing the last of his drink, a sly smirk plastered on his face. "That a good jab?"

"Great one, cowboy."

"Nice."

The other two men laughed at the scene playing out before them. But Y/N was far too distracted by Bob now, so she didn't notice. She only focused on the way he seemed to grasp at her tighter, pulling her even closer to him. It felt nice being close to him. He usually wasn't very touchy with anyone else. But it seemed that tonight was different. Why he chose Y/N to be all cuddly with, she had no idea.

But, nonetheless, she enjoyed it and was grateful for it. It wasn't every day super cute, super hot Robert Floyd decided to have a cwtch so she'd have to savour it while it lasted and it looked as if he needed some aid to stand so she wrapped her arm around his middle.

From across the bar, Rooster nudged Phoenix and gestured to their buddies. "Guess Bob's little crush is common knowledge now," Bradley joked as he sipped his beer, thoroughly amused by Bob's actions. 

"You knew too, huh?"

"He's pretty obvious about it."

"He's pretty wasted too."

No kidding. Despite being in public, Bob was completely okay with running his hand up and down Y/N's waist and squeezing it every now and then when he wanted more of her attention as she tried to carry on with the conversation she was having. Her cheeks were dusted pink, and she hoped to god that neither Hangman nor Payback wouldn't mention it because she'd never be able to live it down.

"Y/N, it's your round," Jake announced as he handed her her empty bottle. "Take your tag along and get him some water."

"Aw, man whore, maybe you do have a soul after all," she replied in a teasing voice as she gestured for Ruben to hand over his drink too. He downed it and placed it between her fingers before she walked away with Bob trailing behind her. 

"You want to sit down for a while?" she urged as she patted the bar stool next to her. He nodded, still smiling dopily as he plopped down on the plush stool and swung his feet back and forth.

Penny gave Y/N a chuckle as she saw the usual uptight and meek look that usually adorned Bob's entire existence. Now? Now he was acting like some love-sick puppy who was waiting to be given love and attention from the woman beside him, which was absolutely adorable.

"Water for him?"

"Please."

With Penny off to deal with the drinks, Y/N turned her attention back to Bob to brush some of his hair back in place. "Love it when you do that," he murmured to her, a small smile grazing his face.

"Do what?" She whispered back.

"Put your hands all on my hair. Makes me feel special, y'know, like I'm really important to ya." He reached for her hand and moved it to his cheek, brushing the pad of his thumb over her knuckles as he gazed longingly up at her. Her heart fluttered at the sight of him - his eyes were glazed over and unfocused, a soft smile tugging at his features as she started to stroke his skin with her thumb. 

"You are important to me, cowboy."

Because of her words, Bob leaned into her touch and hummed happily at the contact. Y/N smiled as her fingers traced circles into his skin, a feeling of peace spreading throughout her chest at the sight of him in such a state of contentment.

Everything about the look that was upon his face was so sweet, so caring, so...perfect. It took everything in her power not to lean forward and kiss him right then and there, to reassure herself that he was real and real and not just an illusion that she conjured in her tipsy mind. But she didn't - she didn't dare risk it. No matter how much she craved the closeness that was radiating off of him, she knew that it wouldn't be good for either of them.

"Water for the drunk lieutenant. Beer for the soon-to-be drunk lieutenants."

"Thanks, Penny," Y/N answered as she took the glasses from Penny and passed the water over to her companion as she paid. 

Bob looked at the water with confusion."It's water-flavoured vodka. Just came in," Penny lied with a smile, having persuaded intoxicated customer after customer to hydrate for their benefit. Bob nodded his thanks and downed half of his drink at once. 

After swallowing the liquid, he glanced at Y/N. "Want to try?" he asked, holding out the cup towards her.

"You keep it for yourself," she chuckled as she helped him up to his feet. As she took hold of his hands to steady him, he swayed on his feet and grinned. "Easy does it, Bambi."

Once he had somewhat stood upright, Y/N grabbed the beers and led him back to their friends, passing them around as Bob nursed his 'vodka' water. Hangman and Payback were busy playing pool, so Y/N walked over and placed a beer in Jake's hand.

"About time, sugar tits."

"Ever the gentleman, Bagman."

Time ticked on, and eventually, most of the other pilots reached a similar level of intoxication as Bob, whom they allowed to drink alcohol again and completely depleted all the effort Y/N had made to help him out. Fanboy even yelled out, "Come on, Bobby! Gotta up your drinking game, man." And Bob did just that.

Sometime during the evening, Bob had detached himself from Y/N's waist and left to use the bathroom. When he returned, she had seemingly left already. He noticed her absence immediately and found Phoenix to ask, "Where's - where's Y/N?" 

"I don't know. Outside, maybe?"

Boom. That's where he was going to stumble towards. Without another thought, he made his way outside, weaving his way through the drunken revelry and towards the back door. Once he got outside, he spotted Y/N leaning against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself as she stared at the night sky.

"Cold, darlin?"

She jumped in surprise, turning quickly around to face him, and sighed heavily in relief once she realised it was just him standing there. 

"A little."

He approached her hesitantly, as if unsure of how she might react, then he said gently, "Here." He held out his arms for her, and she gladly accepted his offer and stepped into his embrace, wrapping hers tightly around him as he enveloped her in warmth. "Better?" he whispered into her ear.

Of course, she nodded, snuggling her face into his neck and inhaling deeply. "You smell like someone spilt booze all over you."

"I did."

Both of them burst into a fit of giggles, unable to control themselves due to the amount of booze currently running through their bodies and the happiness and warmth of each other's presence. After a few seconds, though, they both calmed down and pulled away slightly to study one another's expressions.

They looked at each other for a moment longer until his eyes drifted downwards to her lips, then up again to meet her gaze. A shiver ran through Y/N, but not necessarily because of the chilly air. She could feel her pulse begin to quicken when he inched ever closer to her face until her back hit the building behind her. 

The sound of music inside was faint, and the party raging on around them only amplified the silence, yet it hardly mattered because the world suddenly seemed to slow down and stop in its tracks as he brought his lips towards hers. The kiss began softly at first, hesitant and gentle, but gradually grew in fervour and heat until it was nothing but passionate.

One thing was certain: Bob sure had no trouble giving in to the urge he felt when it came to Y/N. His tongue grazed lightly against her bottom lip, begging her to open up to him, and she obliged without any hesitation. His free hand went straight to the nape of her neck, pulling her tighter against him while the other rested firmly on her hip.

Coyote, who only came outside for a breather, came across this scene by chance and stayed silent before snapping a picture to show the rest of the gang the hot new gossip.

Luckily, that ensured that he didn't see the moment that Bob instinctively shifted his knee between her thighs in such a suggestive manner, causing a moan that escaped through her parted lips.

"Fuck, sorry," he apologised and removed his knee in an inebriated hurry. Y/N didn't seem to care, however, as she simply continued to stare down at him through her lashes, a lazy grin spread across her face.

"Don't apologise, cowboy." She reached out with one hand to push a stray strand of hair out of his face as he looked up at her in surprise."You know, Nat and Mickey are here, so that leaves both of our rooms free for a while."

Bob's cheeks blushed red. "Uh - yeah," he trailed, eyes wandering from her eyes to her lips and back again. "Yeah, that's true."

"Why don't we take advantage of that then?" 

Her words sent his brain into overdrive as he watched her smirk in anticipation of his response. In less than five seconds, Bob's face lit up into a brilliant beam as he lunged forward to capture her lips in a deep and desperate kiss, making sure he placed his hand behind her head so she wouldn't smack into the brick wall behind her. It was an answer in itself, and a very obvious one at that.

"We need to stop for two minutes for me to get an Uber."

"Don't want to stop now..." He mumbled against her lips, tightening his grip around her hip as he deepened the kiss, trying to convince her not to break apart yet. 

However, Y/N was not having any of it and slowly started to pull away, halting the kiss with a small smirk plastered on her lips. Bob pouted adorably at her for that little interruption, and she let out a laugh at his expression. 

"Two minutes."

With haste, she retrieved her phone from her back pocket and got them a ride back to their bunks. Bob tended to be a patient man, yet he couldn't wait two minutes and tried to distract her by kissing her neck, which in turn caused her to giggle with a gasp at his attention. And she had to tease, "Impatient, aren't you?"

"Only for you," he muttered into her skin, his voice filled with a deep desire for her. He felt her shiver beneath his lips and smiled smugly to himself, knowing that his words had elicited such an intense reaction from her. He pressed his lips harder against the spot, feeling the goosebumps rise on her shoulders under his mouth as he sucked a light bruise there. "I've been wanting to do that since I met you."

His words were breathy and soft, almost too quiet for her to hear them, but Y/N heard every single word perfectly. Her heart hammered hard in her chest as she tried to come up with something witty or clever to say in reply to him. All she managed to muster up was a husky, "...Good."

Eventually, the car came and they disentangled themselves to get in. The ride home was short and relatively uneventful, except for Bob's continuous grip on Y/N's thigh throughout the entire drive. The couple was soon inside Y/N's room - only because it was the closest - and she shut the door behind her.

Y/N swiftly was pulled against Bob's body, his lips capturing her own for yet another long, lingering, searing kiss that made her knees weaken at the feeling. His hands made their way under her top and caressed her bare skin lovingly as his lips moved against hers with such hunger and desire, he wasn't able to help the groan that erupted from his throat.

One of her hands slid down the front of his trousers and found his belt, undoing it swiftly and tugging his pants to the ground. Bob followed suit, removing Y/N's shirt from her body and tossing it aside before sliding his hands underneath her jeans to squeeze her ass lightly. He leaned down, burying his face in between her breasts, causing another moan to emerge from her as the feel of his warm lips on her sensitive skin set fire to the very core of her being.

"Bob..", she gasped as his teeth sunk in lightly, causing her to arch her back and throw her head back. "Let me go find a condom. You better have taken your shirt off by the time I get back."

Sleepily, he yawned, "Will do," and watched with sleepy eyes as she hurried to find protection.

It took her several moments, but once she returned from the en suite with a condom in hand, she found that he'd taken his glasses, flopped on her bed and had fallen asleep. She stared at him for what felt like forever, taking in everything about him: the slight stubble, the messy curls, the sleepy, content smile plastered across his face, and the muscular back that he hid so often. 

There was something so enchanting, so mesmerising, in how natural he looked with the moonlight through the window illuminating every inch of his handsome face. She wanted so badly to wake him up, to kiss him senseless again and again, but after seeing him in this state, she couldn't. He was too cute like this.

Instead, she climbed into the bed and covered them both in the duvet, careful not to nudge him and left a gap between them so he was not disturbed, before falling asleep herself.

By the time Phoenix had gotten back to the room she shared with Y/N, the pair had inched closer and Bob had slung his arm around Y/N's waist possessively with the tip of his nose pressing into the nape of her neck. 

Oh, Nat had to take a photo. She had to. How else was she going to update the group chat?

A few hours later, Bob woke up abruptly upon realising someone was in the same bed as him. Holy fuck! He immediately shot his head upwards and noticed that the person beside him was Y/N, his movements waking her up from her peaceful slumber. Y/N rubbed her bleary eyes sleepily and blinked a few times, before smiling at him when he sat upright.

"Morning," she greeted, her voice still hoarse from her sleepiness. She could tell just by looking at him that his memory of the night before was a little fuzzy.

"Did we? Did we you know?" he asked in a whisper, slightly blushing from embarrassment as he lowered his head shyly and scratched his cheek.

Reaching towards her bedside table, Y/N showed him the unopened condom. "You fell asleep."

"Oh, thank the lord." He let out a sigh of relief before noticing how her face fell and hurried to clarify, "No! Not like that. I meant it... like, I want to be sober when that happens. With you." Bob paused for a moment. "Not that I'm complaining about waking up next to you, of course, I like that. Just, uhm, it would be nice to remember it."

He looked away bashfully and cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. Y/N chuckled before reaching out and grabbing his face, turning him back to face her. "Hey, hey," she said softly before giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "I think I'd like that too." She leaned over and began to place kisses all along his jawline until she came to a stop right beside his lips.  

After pausing for a moment, she leaned forward slightly and planted a gentle kiss against his lips, one of her fingers pushing his hair out of his face. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to deepen the kiss, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I love the fact that you two are together now, but can you shut the fuck up? I don't want to leave my bed until tomorrow afternoon," Phoenix grumbled from where she lay.

The two broke apart and laughed sheepishly at each other's antics, as if embarrassed that they had forgotten she was even there in the first place. "More sleep sounds good to me," Bob chuckled and rested back down on the pillows as he snuggled closer to Y/N, pulling her against his chest. With one final kiss to the crown of her head, both lieutenants settled down to sleep off their hangovers.

There was no way either of them would let go any time soon. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not even tomorrow's tomorrow.

*Click here for my masterlist*

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Top Gun taglist: @kpopgirlbtssvt, @adriansboyfriend, @live-love-be-unique

[melatonindeficient]

live laugh love mel

"Mel manipulated jayce" yeah you fucker she's a politician.

Mel isn't telling people what to or what not to think or convincing them to make drastic changes to their lives or personalities in order to bend them to her will. She just knew how to appeal to certain interests in order to achieve a goal. Jayce is an honest and sincere person—say what you want about her, but she was honest and sincere to him as well.

Not only that but she was a politician brought up by a narcissist who quite apparently skewed her perception of what relationships should look like so can we be so fucking for real.

Mel saw an opportunity for some sort of positive change and improvement and took it, and along the way she softened and began to actually love jayce. She didn't have to hold on to him any longer than season one. Hell, as smart as she is if she really didn't want to embark on a romantic relationship with him, she probably wouldn't have had to. And dude, jayce talis might be naïve but he also performed illegal operations in his apartment and performed immense scientific feats by the skin of his teeth. It's not like he just sat there without a thought in his head while him and mel first interacted.

And it never sat right with me that one can be so quick to call Mel a manipulator for wanting to use Jayce's knowledge to create hextech weapons while ignoring that that logic makes Viktor a manipulator in joining forces with Jayce to advance his own search for personal perfectability. I mean, they're parallels for a reason. And it doesn't seem so at first--because they worked as partners in the lab, but Viktor knew he couldn't do that without what Jayce knew, and he couldn't make the most of what Jayce knew without getting close--but Jayce and Viktor's lofty ideals of progress prove that they are flawed once the two of them begin to start working separately for different goals (as Jayce creates a hextech weapon and Viktor insists they must stop).

And in the end, who's the one who uses Jayce's knowledge for worse rather than better? Vik.

In addition, I saw a comment somewhere saying that when she met Ambessa again (in season 1) she realised that she didn't want to continue the cycle of transactional, manipulative relationships which her mother started and began to try and change in the way she viewed relationships, and in turn in the way she loved, and that's so fucking true like holy shit.

Jinx's projection of Silco says that "the cycle only ends when you walk away" at the very end of season 2, but Mel breaks her cycle far before she has her final encounter with her mother in episode nine of season two. No, Mel broke her cycle when she realized she didn't want to do to her great love what her mother did to her. When Ambessa tried to sink her teeth into Jayce.

(Meljay is my endgame I scream as they drag me to my enclosure)

[joelscruff]

one thing i'm missing (joel miller/reader) PART TWO

thank you so much for the love on the first part!! ♥ PART ONE | ao3 summary: you and joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming. rating: 18+ explicit (this part is not explicit but this fic will be) warnings: (for future parts) smut, age difference (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 50s), praise kink - will add more as fic progresses word count: about 3.9k

That whole day you'd kept waiting for Joel to mention it, say absolutely anything in allusion to what the two of you had shared that morning, but he didn't. And in turn, neither did you. It was like it had never happened; he didn't look at you differently or talk to you differently, which you guess in most ways you were grateful for. The last thing you wanted was for him to suddenly start acting like there was something weird going on, but there was something going on. The way he'd looked at you, the way his fingers had stroked the skin of your back, you knew it wasn't just nothing.

The only thing that had changed was Joel's stamina; after such a good sleep, he'd recovered greatly in just one night and now seemed to be able to travel further without as many stops. In just one day you'd all managed to double your travel time, which even managed to put a smile on Ellie's face.

“I'm glad you're feeling better,” she'd said to Joel that afternoon, beaming proudly at the miracle she'd helped him achieve, “It was weird not having you around for so long.”

He'd smiled back at her and your heart had stuttered at the familiarity of it, recalling the look he'd given you that morning, “I knew I'd be back,”he'd said it stiltedly, like he was talking in a foreign accent. You'd both stared at him in confusion and he'd sighed exasperatedly, “Terminator. Movie from the 80s.”

“Ohhh,” you and Ellie had both chorused, and he'd rolled his eyes.

You'd set up camp again that night and had hoped that Ellie's change in demeanour might warrant her sleeping closer to the fire, closer to you and Joel, but it didn't. In fact, she'd ended up setting down her sleeping bag even further away than the night before. You and Joel both acknowledged it but didn't say anything to her, not wanting to push her boundaries.

“I'm worried about her,” you'd said quietly when it was just the two of you.

“I know, me too,” he'd sighed, “Kept thinkin' that maybe tonight would be different – she was so normal today, wasn't she?”

“She was,” you agreed, “I thought the same thing.”

“Guess it's gonna take time,” he muttered, poking at the fire absentmindedly, “luckily we got no shortage of that, huh?” his eyes met yours and you felt that familiar flutter in the base of your stomach before he turned his attention back to the fire.

Joel took first watch. Neither of you had acknowledged the period of time in which you both slept last night, so by proxy Joel hadn't given you any shit for not waking him up for his turn. You set your sleeping bag up a few feet from the fire where he sat, painfully aware of the fact that he could see every move you made. You realized quickly that in your nervousness, or maybe because all you could think of was last night, you'd laid it wide and flat against the ground like it was a duvet. Like it wasn't just you sleeping under it tonight.

“You'll freeze like that,” he'd said quietly behind you, and you'd tried not to show the disappointment you felt was written all over your body language.

“Right,” you'd muttered, and zipped the bag back up, slipping inside of it and shutting your eyes tight once you were situated.

Of course he's not gonna get in with you, you idiot. It was a one-time thing. He's probably already forgotten it even happened.

You tried to sleep but failed miserably. Your thoughts wouldn't shut up, reminding you over and over again that Joel was right there, only a few feet away, and yet you couldn't have felt further away from him. You longed for the feeling of his arms around you again, that warmth you'd shared together, the feeling of his hot skin against the palm of your hand. You couldn't stop replaying that moment over and over, when he'd looked down at you and smiled so softly and tenderly, looked at you like you were the only person that existed to him.

You felt a gentle nudge to your shoulder and you opened your eyes to see Joel kneeling over you, extending the rifle toward your still form, “Sorry,” he'd said quietly, “it's your turn.”

“It's okay, I wasn't asleep,” you whispered, taking the rifle from him and sitting up.

His brow furrowed at your words but he didn't say anything else, just got up from his crouch and walked over to where he'd set up his blanket. You felt the urge to tell him he'd freeze, use his own words against him, but you knew it wouldn't achieve anything.

Your watch was uneventful, spent mostly throwing grass into the fire and watching the embers dance in the darkness. You couldn't get your mind to focus on anything else but Joel, who you periodically peered over at to make sure wasn't freezing to death. He was still, but the expression on his face was anything but peaceful and you very much doubted he was even asleep.

Around the time you knew you were supposed to alert him for his watch, you hesitated. A new thought had crossed your mind and you began to twist it around in your head, weighing the pros and cons. After a few moments of deep thought, you got up and walked over to Joel. He was shivering a little bit now, not much but it was obvious he wasn't comfortable.

Fuck it, you'd thought to yourself, then grabbed your sleeping bag and started to unzip it. Hearing the noise, Joel – who (you were right) was wide awake – opened his eyes and saw you standing there. You met his gaze but neither of you said anything. He'd watched as you carefully laid down beside him, not close enough that you were touching because you still weren't sure how he'd react, but so both of you were underneath the new layer of warmth together. You waited for him to tell you to move or for him to scramble out from under the material and start his watch, but he didn't. He just kept looking at you, expression unreadable. It was like an unspoken challenge, who would speak first, and you were both winning.

With one last look at him, you'd closed your eyes, willing yourself to believe that he would stay.

-

The sound of Joel snoring woke you up in the early hours of the morning, not because it was obnoxious but because it was directly in your ear. Your eyes snapped open and you realized you were now lying on your side facing the trees. You could feel him at your back, pressed into you solidly with his arms wrapped around your middle; he was spooning you.

Swallowing out of nervousness you looked down at his hands, curled around your midsection, and felt a hot pang of recognition as reality began to sink in; he hadn't gotten up for his watch, he'd stayed with you and fallen asleep. He'd wanted you there. You closed your eyes and found yourself choking back the sudden emotions you felt bubbling to the surface. Joel wanted you. He wanted you.

He snored again and you couldn't help but smile, feeling his warm breath at the nape of your neck, the tip of his nose bumping gently against the skin there. You could feel his beard against the top of your shoulder blade and you shivered unconsciously, leaning further back into his touch, feeling the hint of his lips brush against your skin. You closed your eyes and sighed contentedly, and seconds later you'd fallen back to sleep.

When you woke again, he was gone. You rolled over with a frown, searching for him, only to see both he and Ellie sitting at the fire eating breakfast. You looked down and realized that Joel had put his blanket back in his pack and wrapped your sleeping bag around you, making it seem like you'd slept by yourself all night. If he'd been alone at the fire you would have been confused, hurt, but seeing Ellie sitting there made it make sense; he didn't want her to know, and honestly neither did you.

You'd sat up and stretched, then extricated yourself from the sleeping bag and shuffled over to the two of them. Ellie hadn't said anything, bleary eyed and clearly still half asleep as she munched on whatever canned perishable they'd cooked up, but Joel had looked at you and graced you with a gorgeous half smile, eyes meeting yours.

“Mornin',” he'd said softly, “Sleep good?”

You'd smiled back and sat beside Ellie, reaching for a fork, “Really good, you?”

His eyes, dark and deep but shining in the morning sun, held your gaze as he replied, “Can't complain.”

After that, neither of you slept alone.

The following night, Joel had spread his blanket out on the ground and you'd wordlessly placed your sleeping bag on top of it; he didn't object. You both abandoned the idea of a second watch, confident that you were far enough away from any civilization that no one was going to sneak up on you in the night. After checking the perimeter and making sure Ellie was fast asleep, you'd crawled under the sleeping bag where Joel lay still and inched in beside him. You didn't make eye contact, nerves twisting inside your belly as you shuffled even closer to him and wound your arm around his torso, placing your head on his chest. In response, he'd tilted his head toward yours, nosing the crown of it and sighing contentedly, his hands coming up to trail gently along your back.

“Night,” you'd breathed, nuzzling into the warmth of his coat, focusing on the feeling of being held by him.

“G'night,” he'd murmured in response, and you'd both fallen asleep within minutes.

Every morning was the same in some ways but different in others. Sometimes he'd be spooning you from behind again, and you could always tell when he was awake versus when he was asleep by the way he nuzzled against you. When he was asleep he was uninhibited, mouth open against your skin and arms a dead weight around your body, solid and comfortable. When he was awake he was more reserved, keeping his face shrouded in your jacket instead of your neck, fingers consciously fluttering around your middle like he wasn't sure exactly what to do with them.

Admittedly you'd pretend to be asleep for longer periods so you could bask in the feeling of him holding you so close; whenever he realized you were awake he would always pull away, not out of embarrassment or regret but because he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. This much was clear by the way he touched you when he thought you were asleep, so careful and gentle, soft and sweet. Like you were some precious thing he had to be extremely careful with or you'd break apart. He was never trying to get away from you, only trying to get you closer.

But neither of you said anything, never spoke a word about it to each other. It simply became a part of the routine. You weren't sure if there was some unspoken rule that talking about it would make it weird or make it go away, but you weren't going to risk it and neither was Joel. What happened at night and in the early mornings was just between the two of you, quiet and secret. Ellie was none the wiser; she was still keeping her distance at night and though you were still concerned about it, you had to admit that you were slightly thankful for her sudden desire for independence. Without it, you doubted you'd be waking up in Joel's embrace every morning.

Your favorite part of those mornings, of those moments, was when Joel would look at you. Somehow, though neither of you had spoken a word about what was going on, that one look he'd give you in the early hours when the sun was just barely cresting the trees was everything. His eyes would meet yours in a silent whisper, a cosmic spark that you could feel in your bones. They were so brown and so soft – you could remember first meeting him and being frightened by the coldness of his stare, laughable now. The man who looked at you now was kind and gentle, the aged lines that painted his face no longer seeming intimidating or such a big deal – he was a lot older than you, but so what? He'd blink slowly, no longer because he was tired but because he was so relaxed, and oftentimes his eyes would involuntarily close again and he'd fall back into a quiet and easy sleep.

You'd live in that brief moment for the rest of the day, holding the image at the front of your mind until you were back in his arms again. Rinse. Repeat. You still weren't sure what any of it meant to him, but you'd begun to realize what it meant to you; the mere thought of not having those moments anymore or losing whatever it was the two of you shared frightened you. You'd begun to need him so much more than you had before and you couldn't help but wonder if he was starting to feel that same need.

-

It had been about two weeks since the events with David. Joel was doing much better but still hadn't returned to his regular travel pace, leaving you all still hiking through the Colorado wilderness. You'd both had to make a pretty tough decision in regard to whether you'd travel by roads and through small abandoned communities or stick to the secluded safety of the forest. Arguably you'd get to your destination faster by road, but safety had become a much higher priority ever since Joel's close call, not to mention Ellie had obviously become extremely wary of other people. The last thing you needed was to run into another group – or worse, a cult like David's. Besides, sleeping deep in the forest meant less need for frequent watches, which meant more good sleeps for both you and Joel that kept you well rested and alert... among other things.

The sun had started setting when Ellie first saw the sign, running ahead with a wide eyed expression and extending her arm out to point to the faded wooden letters.

“'Evergreen Haven Hideaway'”, she read aloud “Come for a relaxing soak in our hot springs'” she turned around to look at you and Joel, a confused expression on her face, “What are hot springs?”

“Holy shit,” you'd muttered breathlessly, jogging forward a bit to catch up to Ellie and peer at the sign, “They're like natural outdoor baths, the water stays really warm even when it's cold outside.”

“Baths?” she'd looked at you incredulously, “Like we could actually get clean here?”

“Well, without soap we can't do much, but being submerged in water that's not gonna make us freeze to death sounds good to me.”

“Hold on,” Joel had caught up to you, expression serious, “Look at the other sign.”

Your eyes scanned ahead of you and you noticed another wooden sign that had fallen down into the dirt, half covered by plant growth: Cabins and Campground for All Ages.

“This ain't just a hot spring, it's a resort.”

Your face visibly fell and Ellie raised an eyebrow, “So?”

“So,” Joel sighed, looking around suspiciously as if he half expected to see someone emerge from the treeline, “That last place where everything went down, that was a resort too. Albeit much larger and not secluded, but still a resort.”

At the mention of David's compound, Ellie's expression changed, her eyes suddenly cold and hard. You watched as she clenched her left hand into a fist, then swiftly turned around to face away from you and Joel so you couldn't see her face.

“Nothing could be worse than that place,” she said stoically, evenly.

You and Joel looked at each other, sharing a glance that echoed the exact same sentiment: she wasn't going to take no for an answer, not anymore.

Sighing, Joel shook the rifle off his shoulder and checked the rounds. You pulled out your handgun and did the same thing, biting your lip. You were both running out of bullets, not to mention food, and you both knew that an opportunity like this to find some supplies wasn't going to come along again any time soon. Hearing the rattle of artillery, Ellie spun back around. Her cold expression was suddenly replaced with a wide smile when she saw what you were doing.

“Fuck yeah!” she said excitedly, slipping her backpack off and digging through it to find her gun, “Hot springs!”

“Hot springs,” you repeated with a smile, eyeing Joel.

He nodded but his expression was still serious, “Hot springs.”

[glacierclear]

Having some mad fuckboy!Leon thoughts rn

After he's unlearned all the stuff he taught himself and is basically done with the whole fuckboy thing oh man he would be SO soft. Holding your hand? Check. Cuddling at his dorm? Check. Being more gentle and loving during sex? Also check.

Also, stealing his hoodies. He'd melt for sure

oh, for sure. healed fuckboy!leon would be a SIGHT TO BEHOLD.

he wouldn't be perfect...

progress isn't linear. he'd stumble a lot. make a lot of mistakes and backward steps. you would need to be patient. you would need to be careful. especially in the early stages. because damn, he's trying. he's trying so hard. and you need to acknowledge the effort, even if it's hard to see, because any praise towards this will mean so much to him.

it'd come out especially on his bad days. he's more impatient. short-tempered. lashes out over seemingly mundane things. you'll need to be firm but not demeaning. catch his tells, his habits, and figure out the real reason he's behaving the way he is.

you'll need to slowly teach him the true depth of his words. that they hurt you just as much as they hurt him. he's unfamiliar with the idea of accountability, so you need to teach him about consequences. let him know you're upset and angry at him. but just because you're upset doesn't mean he's irredeemable. he'll assume any pushback is you ending things permanently. he needs the space to fuck up and forgive himself.

and damn it all, he's the jealous type. possessive. protective as all hell. it's toxic, and you need to teach him boundaries. it'll be tough. he worked so fucking hard to get you, doesn't he deserve to have you the way he needs? but no. you need freedom. he'll learn eventually, but be prepared to send a lot of "im safe and i miss u" texts to him when you're out with friends.

speaking of toxic. the toxic masculinity will be hell to unpack. sometimes it's nice! he insists on you being passenger princess. he insists on picking up the bill (well, once you're actually dating). he doesn't mind taking care of spiders (and fine, just because you asked nicely, he won't kill them). but...the bads get real bad.

displaying any kind of vulnerable emotion is like pulling teeth. when he's nervous, scared, anxious...he'll take it out on others. or himself. early progress will be made when he's blackout drunk and spilling everything to you. he reveals the deepest, most fragile parts of himself on these nights. it's like he's an entirely different person. and the next morning he'll do his best to sweep it all under the rug, but you have to fight for it. accept him and love him despite how "totally fucking lame" he acted (his words, not yours).

that being said. the good parts? oh yeah. Boyfriend Material 100%.

he'd do anything for you. anything. don't even say shit as a joke because he'll do it. at a certain point he doesn't even care if his friends think he's being stupid. you're his whole world. he'd wear stupid t-shirts for you. go to that concert you're dying to see even if he thinks the music sucks. he'll bash his head into a wall and learn to bake french pastries if it'll get you to smile. through hell and high water, he'll follow.

and yeah, he weans himself off social media. stops posting thirst trap photos and cuts ties with his sneaky links. but the lack of external validation is felt, and it kind of falls on you to fill the void. clingy won't even begin to describe what he is. he'll resort to begging. he will. late to work in the morning? that's not his problem. you're staying in that damn bed and you are cuddling him. you think him wearing tank tops in the middle of December is just a dumb mistake, but you catch on quick when he starts to shiver and needs to huddle you for warmth. "you want me to die of hypothermia? c'mon, babe. get closer." and yeah. those ice cold hands are going straight on your stomach. have fun.

part of the excitement will come from truly learning who he is as a person. most of his herculean facade is a persona. he doesn't actually like beer. he likes dry whiskey and refined clear liquors. he doesn't actually enjoy parties. the crowds make him nauseous, and he can always blame it on the alcohol. he's not actually all that into sports. you figure out he has a well-loved public library card and he knows the mystery section like the back of his hand. he's vibrant. shockingly intelligent. gets that light in his eyes when you nudge him about his interests. it'll be hard to get him to admit it, but his favorite part of the week is huddling on the couch watching nature documentaries with you.

and it's a two-way street. he remembers everything about you. early on in your relationship you casually assume he'll never keep track of the important dates. that's the stereotype, right? you couldn't be more wrong. birthdays. anniversaries. doctor's appointments. your fucking dog's yearly vaccine. he won't necessarily go all-out, not until you're more of a long-term thing, but what he does is meaningful. sincere. you won't get $500 of flowers and chocolate for valentine's day, but he'll abduct you from work, drive you out far, far into the countryside. lay out a patchwork blanket and stare at the night sky. he brought your favorite brand of pita chips and sneakily worms a gift box in your hand. it's that stupid $15 thing that's been sitting in your online shopping cart for weeks that you could never justify buying. and yeah, he'd appreciate a blowjob under the stars, but seeing you happy is enough.

and you could never begin to imagine how loving and passionate he can get during sex. it's totally different than his usual flavor. casual hook-ups and one-night stands are merely a fraction of his power. he tends to avoid intimate gestures on those nights. no eye-contact. hardly any kissing. he likes it rough and he likes it fast. but with you? he takes his time. commits your body to muscle memory. his gaze is intense, and he watches every reaction, trying to map out your flesh like a cartographer. he'll happily make out with you for upwards of a couple hours before you even begin the real foreplay. and you always cum first. always.

oh, but if you're not a fan of PDA...he might be a problem. he's proud of you. you're the hottest thing on two legs as far as he's concerned. he'll have no issue grabbing your ass, wrapping a hand around your waist, kissing along your neck, whispering the most obscene things in your ear. it's not even to make a point. there's no rhyme or reason. he just wants to. and you're right there. and what right does the world have to tell him to stop? does it make people uncomfortable? who cares. he'll lay off if it really bugs you that much...but if he catches anyone staring at you too long he'll ramp it up. it's almost aggressive. you turn to scold him, noticing how his eyes aren't even on you. he's staring at someone else. someone who's looking at what's his.

he's a yes man, too. if you need restraint and careful guidance in your life...he's not the one. he'll support any weird, out of the blue hobby you want to pursue. if you even joke about quitting your job he'll egg you on. "i'll drive right up there and tell your boss i'll fuck his wife!" and you have to talk him down. he'll punch the sun for you. he'll be behind every impulsive purchase. every 4am trip to walmart. every instinct to feed your id. any "little treat" you want to have he'll get it. because you deserve the best. if you ever want to have a stable bank account you need the be the voice of reason. because it's not gonna be him.

yeah. he'll have a lot of problems. don't worry about that. but, at least with fuckboy!leon, you'll almost never have any doubts that he loves you. once you manage to pin his heart on his sleeve, it's there for life and it'll always be yours.

[batboyblog]

Hi, idk if you're a Mdni page or not, but I'm really scared. I'm 15f, I live in a mostly red state, I've grown up here, and everyone I know is voting red. I was previously in the middle, I didn't care either way who won. I'm terrified of the election after reading about everything the Republican candidate did and plans to do. I wanna know if there's anything I could do to help prevent Trump from winning the election? I have a younger sister, and I don't want her to have to live in a country where her rights are being stripped from her. I just wanna know how to help. Thank you for reading and feel free to delete if I broke a boundary.

for the record I don't mind anyone sending me an ask, everyone is welcome to interact respectfully.

that out of the way, I remember working for Hillary in the 2016 election (by my math you would have been 7?) and our intern was your age and he was... he was everything he was so dryly sarcastic, smart, unflappable, could do anything, he kept us sane and he saved our asses with his can do (and tech skills) more times than I can count.

So to any teens out there who are not yet old enough to vote and think "oh there's nothing I can do" in 2016 we won a Senate race by 1,000 votes, which 100% was the doors we knocked and the voters we talked to out of our office, a 16 year old intern working his ass off saved Obamacare in 2017, not a word of a lie, you can make a difference as an intern or volunteer

Now, from the tone of what you're saying it sounds like your parents would into that, idk if you're parents are the kind of people who let you explore your own thing, or the kind of people who just wouldn't notice, or if they're the kind who would seriously object to you volunteering for the Democrats or progressive groups.

A lot of people assume because they live in Red States or Blue states they don't matter, but for example there are key Senate races this year in Texas, Montana, Ohio, and Florida (Red) and Maryland (Blue) Alaska is a traditionally red state but its one and only Congressperson is a Democrat who will run a very close race to get re-elected again this year. So where ever you live there is a key race, even if it's local. And lots of chances to call voters or send them postcards in swing states

Any ways everyone check out ways to Volunteer Run for Something also supports younger local candidates so if you live somewhere very red or very blue it can be helpful to find locals running for school board or city Council

now for you personally young person, and everyone else, have real and serious conversations with people in your life about this stuff, I can not TELL you how often I knock on someone's door and we talk politics and they tell me "oh well I'm a Democrat, but everyone around here is really a Republican" but like I just talked to 4 other people who were Democrats in their neighborhood, they just saw one Trump sign and gassed themselves up about it. People are often much more swingable than you think, feel everyone out, if there's an adult in your life thats convincible, work on them find out what they care about and bring them facts, be claim and reasonable and work on them. Each of us doing one on one work with people who know us is WAY! more impactful than any TV ad a campaign can buy.

finally if your parents won't let you volunteer for Dems, reach out to the League of Woman Voters, they're not partisan, so they're not Dems or Republicans, they believe in voting. When I was in High School I organized a voter registration drive in my school at lunch time, thats a great thing to do, call your county/town clerk's office and talk to your school, get a social studies teacher involved they love that shit, young people are much more likely to be Democrats so just registering them is helpful.

best of luck, in the words of Hitchhiker's Guide, Don't Panic.

[brucewaynehater101]

As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.

Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)

I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.

As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.

I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.

The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).

Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.

I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.

I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).

I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.

Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!

[randomfandomblabdom]

I really need to vent about how much I like Cal and Merrin's dynamic in Jedi: Survivor cause they've quickly become probably my favorite canon pairing in the franchise.

I absolutely love that this relationship is built on the basis of friendship, respect, and a genuine mutual understanding of each other. From gameplay comments and conversations, Cal is very clearly so enamored with Merrin and literally everything about her. I know it's become a bit of a joke how clearly into her he is but he just thinks she's the most incredible being in the entire galaxy and it's honestly the sweetest thing. The writers could have very easily made his connection to Merrin a weakness or had it where it made his struggle with the darkness harder but I adore that they allowed him to be completely smitten with her and presented it as a strength. It's refreshing not only in Star Wars but in media in general, at least in my opinion. Love being presented as a positive asset is something so deeply missing in media nowadays - especially romantic love. Far too often in this day and age, love is presented as a weakness or something that will only bring you down, so I respect the fuck out of this writing.

Oops, this got really, really long so I'm putting the rest under a cut. It's kind of spitfire, so I apologize if it feels random.

I love how their first kiss is Merrin basically making a split-second decision where she realizes she doesn't want to die without kissing him at least once even if it runs the risk of making things awkward should they survive. Is it cliche as fuck? Absolutely, but it works so well in this instance. Cal being so dumbfounded, gawking at her like a fish, trying to process what the hell just happened that BD has to remind him they're literally about to die is the best thing too.

I appreciate that Cal is so obviously hesitant about giving into any sort of romantic feelings for Merrin because, of course, he would be due to his upbringing. He's pushing so hard against it to the point that he's even completely reluctant to so much as discuss it with Bode when they're on the Lucrehulk. Personally, I don't think Cal is oblivious to their potential feelings for each other. I've never been a huge fan of treating Cal as completely naive. He still might be a bit emotionally stunted, sure but he's lived 10 years outside of the Jedi Order at this point. I think he's hesitant to talk about it because first of all, it's really none of Bode's business but also, if he talks about it, he has to admit it, and if he admits it, that makes it real, and if it's real... well fuck, now he has to do something about it either way which is exactly what he's trying to avoid. I think he's trying to stay as neutral about it as he can until he gets to a point in the story/his arc where he decides he actually wants or feels ready to make a decision. Bode almost gets it out of him too before they're interrupted. The progression of Bode's questioning during that mission is something I actually find really interesting but that's a different topic.

Many people have pointed this out but Cal smiling so brightly while Merrin is clearly freaking the fuck out of Bode is just the cutest thing. Not only because he finds such humor in her scaring the shit out of people for fun when he of all people knows it's a running joke but he also goes along with the joke any chance he gets. He does this even when she's not around. People will be freaked out by her and he still plays along and it's not even like, "Yeah, I know, she's fucking scary bro," it's more like, "Yeah, I know, she can wake the dead, isn't it amazing how scary she is!" Someone else already pointed this out in another post but that feels almost more intimate than any kiss they share. His attraction to her encompasses all sides of her including those that many people find incredibly terrifying and I find that so endearing, he wouldn't ask her to change for anything. He's the only person who genuinely isn't freaked out by her in the slightest but not only that, he finds that side of her to be so incredible. Also, Cal being so blase with Bode about his obvious attraction to Merrin a mission prior and then having the most blatant sexual tension with her in front of Bode in the next scene is peak comedy, I don't care what anybody says. Like, Cal, honey, you just spent the entire previous mission trying to convince Bode (and yourself) there's nothing there and/or you're not pursuing it, so you're not doing yourself any favors by looking at her like that, standing that close to her, and speaking to her with the cadence of a lover bro.

I love that the second Cal walks onto the Mantis after killing Rayvis, she instantaneously picks up on the fact that something's wrong. Literally instantaneously. You can see her face drop the moment she sees him. She just knows something happened. Her ability to read him insanely well is something that is introduced very early on in the game, most noticeably in the campfire scene, and it stays consistent over the course of the story. The following conversation they have is honestly one of the best moments between them in the entire game. It's this type of conversation I've been wanting to see with a Jedi and their potential lover since Revenge of the Sith. He is so open with her even in a somewhat roundabout way about his genuine fear of losing himself and while the conversation is not explicitly about their relationship, the implication is still there and she 100% picks up on it, especially since he wonders aloud why Santari didn't see the change in Dagan before it was too late. Instead of shaming him for his reservations or calling it ridiculous or anything else she could have said at this moment, she instead decides to possibly help curb those fears and give him some comfort regarding it. She goes on to basically tell him in so few words she knows what she's signing up for and is willing to cross those bridges with him if they come. It's a great difference between Cal and Dagan. Though it's never outright stated that Dagan and Santari were in love, I feel like it's... pretty heavily implied, or at least he was definitely in love with her (was I the only one who read it that way??) but whereas Dagan demands that Santari talk him away from the darkness and seems to almost expect her to, Merrin herself plainly offers to do it with no prodding on Cal's part. It doesn't seem to be a burden Cal wanted to put on her, not something he was inherently expecting of her but she willingly offers, it is her choice, she wants to carry that burden with him. While she does seem maybe slightly annoyed by his hesitancy regarding their relationship to each other, she is also so incredibly patient with him while he's stewing over what he wants to do. It's beautiful. As a side note, "A shared dream is not so easy to wake from," is such an amazing line. Seriously, I want merch with that quote on it.

I liked that going through with the relationship was Cal's choice in the end. Merrin didn't push it, she didn't pressure it. She let him bring it up and come to her when he was ready and if that meant potentially being rejected by a man she very clearly adores, so be it, and I have no doubt she would've respected that choice if that's what he'd wanted. I know a lot of people seem to think he only makes this decision due to Bode's questions earlier but it really seems to be a combination of multiple things that lead to this. Bode picking his brain definitely got him thinking about it, maybe more than he wanted to, but I do think the other big part of Cal being willing to go forward with it at this moment is his confrontation with Dagan that, while an illusion, did cause him to come to grips with his own mortality in a way. "How does it feel knowing you're about to die. That your life meant nothing." As Cal says, Dagan uses an extremely powerful force hallucination based on fear here, so while losing himself to the darkness might scare him, his life being completely meaningless is what he seems to fear the most. Cal's journey throughout Survivor encompasses many things but one of them revolves around feeling aimless and finding a purpose, preferably outside of being a hired weapon that will surely and slowly consume him. It's what everyone consistently tells him: find a home, settle down, embrace happiness because it's fleeting, the path you're on is not healthy and will consume you otherwise...etc. His decision here to give in to his romantic attraction to Merrin is a culmination of all of these interactions and conversations he's had throughout the story, how they've influenced his line of thinking, and him coming to his own conclusions regarding what he personally wants and at this moment, when things are finally, calm and everyone is in a good place with a plan going forward, he personally decides there's no point in living up to the expectations of the Jedi when the Order doesn't exist anymore and wants to see where this could go.

I love the fact that when Merrin witnesses Cal's darkness in the ISB, it's made abundantly clear that she's just as afraid of losing him as he most likely is of losing her. I do think a major reason why she was able to talk him down at the moment is that he fundamentally understands what it feels like to lose everything and everyone, your entire livelihood. That is what they first bonded over and it's something that keeps them bonded in the saddest, yet most profound way and he would never want to add himself to the list of people she's lost. She's also doing exactly what she said she would. In an instance where again, she reads him like a fucking book, she can tell just from his responses on the intercom that he's losing himself and is guiding him back. She immediately went to rescue him as she says. No question, no argument, nothing, she simply does it. She made him a promise and she kept it and in that moment, he promises that she won't lose him, he won't allow it. This is a fundamental difference between Anakin and Padme's dynamic and Cal and Merrin's. While Anakin's love for Padme quite famously ends up extremely selfish in an "I would lose myself to ensure you're not ripped away from me" type of way, Cal and Merrin's dynamic is leaning towards a more selfless, "I won't allow myself to be lost because I can't let that happen for your sake," type of way and god damn it, I love it.

There are several interactions they have in gameplay that I'm lowkey peeved weren't included in cutscenes and one of them is when Cal returns to the Mantis after all but demolishing the ISB, they have this really short but great interaction where Merrin says that if he ever feels that way again, he needs to tell her. She doesn't even ask him to do it, she all but demands it, "If you feel that way again, you will tell me." She's demanding communication from him regarding the darkness and he doesn't fight this demand at all. He agrees to respect this request and I fucking love that from both of them. I will genuinely be kinda upset if we don't get a moment like that in the next game.

I like how their kiss after they've successfully navigated the abyss is kind of their first kiss inverted but instead of "omg we might die, I need to kiss you" it's more "holy shit, we survived, I need to kiss you," but instead of Merrin initiating, now it's Cal. I'm probably reading too much into that but whatever, it's cute.

This isn't about any one part in particular but I do love that it looks like the headcanon so many people had regarding Merrin most likely being quite physically affectionate is turning out to be true.

...I think that's enough for now lol I might add on some things later

Apologies for any typos and thanks for indulging my rambling if you got this far.

[the-meat-machine]

It only recently occurred to me that the two characters the Condesce forcibly turns to her side -- Jane and Jade -- are her daughters. The two alien girls she raised in two different timelines. Different versions of them, but still. She brings her heiresses over to her side.

And it's interesting -- I've always thought there were hints that the Condesce is sincere, albeit very twisted, in her desire to take on an heiress. I can't imagine that HIC would ever cede power completely, but making her heiress(es) her second-in-command? I can see that. And indeed, that's exactly what she does.

My biggest reason for thinking that this is something the Condesce cares about is this passage from Meenah:

MEENAH: just makes me think about my kid descendant MEENAH: an how instead of having this cool friendsy relation with her i just got this uncontrollable urge to stab her to death so she dont threaten my supremacy MEENAH: which is a shame cuz she so cute 38( MEENAH: cod damn my royal blood and the cray junk it makes me have to do MEENAH: aw well MEENAH: maybe some day ill find an heiress who my genes dont instinctively make me wanna murder on sight MEENAH: then i can teach her the badass ways of being a boss n shit!

There are two things I'm taking from these lines:

Meenah (and by extension, the Condesce) has a biological urge to kill any other fuchsia-blooded troll she meets

Meenah would sincerely like to take on a protege (and specifically a female one) and "teach her the badass ways of being a boss n shit"

So does this also apply to the Condesce? Would she, deep down, like to have an heiress who wouldn't be a rival or a threat, but someone she could mentor? Personally, I think the whole point of Meenah's little digression here is to imply that she would.

Now, in HIC's own universe, she's never able to realize this desire. Hell, she probably never even considered that it might be something she'd want at all. Any fuchsia-blooded contender for the throne would be eliminated at all costs, and anyone below fuchsia was unworthy of consideration.

But then she makes her way into the human universe, and as part of her new master's plans, she has to take in a pair of human children -- one boy (Jake) and one girl (Jane). Then, later, she progresses into a different version of that universe and takes on another pair (John and Jade). She doesn't seem to care much about the boys.* But the girls? Perhaps she sees a bit of herself in them. These alien girls present her with a possibility that she's never considered before in all her millennia of life: heiresses she can take under her wing instead of kill on sight.

And so, when she finally gets the opportunity to corrupt two of the kids to her side, the ones she chooses are the alternate universe versions of her daughters.**

Of course, the Condesce can't just let her heiresses run around making their own decisions. That would be ridiculous. But she can unleash them from their self-imposed limitations, rid them of all those pesky morals and qualms that are holding them back. She can show them how to be badass take-no-shit bitches like true heiresses should be. And she'll groom them to take on high-ranking positions in her future empire, to help her keep the populace in line.

Hell, she'll even throw them a bone or two. Give them some gifts. Let 'em have some fun. Because I notice that despite HIC's utter revulsion for human reproductive practices -- a revulsion so strong it lead her to wipe out the entire human race -- she still allows Jane to hold Jake captive with the intention of using him to sire heirs. (Or should I say... heiresses.) The fact that HIC apparently not only doesn't object to this but seems to incorporate it into her plans is HUGE. She'll permit her heiress something she would never allow for any other human.

Anyway. The Condesce cares about her daughters. Heartwarming <3 Yet another fun example in Homestuck of patterns of abuse and oppression being perpetuated through family bonds.

------

Footnotes:

* Sorry for the June erasure, but in canon, HIC is unaware that this particular child may one day grow up to become a woman. If she did know, perhaps she would have taken on a third heiress. An interesting AU to contemplate, perhaps.

** It is interesting that the Condesce chooses Jade even though, in the post-scratch timeline, it was John Crocker who was "loyal" to her and Jade English who ran away. Does she just not consider boys to be valid heirs? Did she have some level of respect for Jade despite her betrayal? Or is she punishing Jade English's betrayal by stealing Jade Harley over to her own side?

[kaibutsushidousha]

what did you think about skadi's handling in arctic summer world? as an ibuki fan i'm puzzled as to why she agreed to skadi's request to stop, but any general insight into what aspects of her were explored here is appreciated.

Thanks to Odin's questionable kindness, Scáthach-Skadi is the last survivor of Ragnarök. That's a situation she's very displeased with and her every major appearance has been her trying to process her grief in some way.

The most relevant attempt is obviously her Lostbelt. She was initially grateful for the lengths Odin went to keep her alive and believed she also needed to go great lengths to preserve the world he left her with. Skadi ruled for 3000 as the most anti-violence Lostbelt King we've ever seen. She constantly had her eyes on her world, and micromanaged all the humans and Jotunns so that there would be no fighting in her world.

She was unquestionably devoted to her Lostbelt, but by no means she made a good job. Her messed up decisions came at great personal cost for the giants who couldn't think for themselves, the humans who only got to live until age 25 at most, and to Skadi herself who had to overexert herself to keep everything in check while also maintain Surtr's seal. Skadi was a joyless woman stuck in the joyless world of her own design. Absolutely no one benefitted from her dystopia.

But playable Skadi is obviously not like that. The world that was hers to care is already gone, and she finds herself free from her queenly chains of responsibility for what might as well be the first time ever. In Chaldea, she's characterized as very lost and clueless. Someone Medb and the other Scáthach need to introduce to so many things she could never see in her small, enclosured world. She has something of a background arc through many cameos with her experiencing many new things, from food (ice cream, takoyaki, alien monster sashimi) to roles for herself (fairy godmother for Lizderella and Martha, and of course, park administrator).

There's also her Interlude, but I'll get back to it later. The reason why I covered this whole recap of Skadi's character is because Skadi's part in Arctic Summer World also feels like a recap of her character. A return to her origins without the previous stakes. In this less messed up environment, Skadi remains as awful an administrator as she was always and remains self-destructively overworking herself for something the people she's serving didn't ask for.

The difference here is that Götterdämmerung is a story about Ophelia's inability to distinguish love from emotional abuse, so Skadi had to carry the important role of sincerely loving mother that made everything worse for everyone, while Summer Skadi is in a role where she can review her mistake and not create Super Fun & Colorful Götterdämmerung 2.

But the part about vaguely self-biographical manga being the medium that lets her examine her past and assess what she needs to do feels like a mark of progress for herself and more like a mark of progress for Jalter as a mentor sharing with others what brought her solace.

As for Ibuki, I think she just stopped because she knew she wouldn't get what she wanted from Skadi's current state. Ibuki wanted things to get joyous and lively, so she ordered Douman to give the Grail to someone full of love. Douman's choice was Skadi because his initial mission was interacting with the Lostbelt Kings, so he was very aware of her love. I don't think Douman was too surprised by the mistakes Skadi repeated here. If Skadi and Fujimaru say they're unwilling, then who is Ibuki throwing this party for?

I get that the end is sudden, but I feel like it works really well for Skadi's long-term characterization. The Scandinavian Lostbelt was a shit place to because Skadi had no respect for anyone's autonomy. After going to Chaldea, disrespecting other people's autonomies remained a recurring problem with Skadi, with Summer Caenis, Lizderella, and Santa Martha all being unconsented transformations.

But then came her Interlude, with the conclusion being that even though she eventually found new happiness in Chaldea because of Odin making her survive and endure 3000 years of trauma, this is not something she wanted, so Odin violated her autonomy and she doesn't need to feel grateful for it. Skadi's consent issues disappear entirely after this Interlude, but since Arctic Summer World was so shortly after it, I like to believe that Skadi saying no and Ibuki immediately respecting also played a part in fixing her flaw.

[happypoppyhaha]

Criticism?

Most yanderes I read are somewhat just horny and straight out lustful leaving no actual love to the reader to feel or make them feel they're being care about instead of being a fuck toy and being abused. Like I don't like how yandere are selfish and engulfed in their own pleasure. I know there are different types of yanderes but let's now waste them down to horny motherfuckers who can't keep it in their pants and lose the true definition of a yandere.

I know some of y'all would say "Oh, it's punishment for escaping or ignoring, or talking to a random guy." That's overdoing it and it's tiring when I read the same thing over and over again. I know y'all will also say "It's not for you, go read something else." The problem is, most of that smut shit takes over the ones I actually want to read without the seconds of raping, there's a maybe FEW of genuine true love for the readers and the yandere. Yes, this sounds like I'm complaining but I hold it long enough. I tried to enjoy the yandere smut. But I can't. I don't like how yandere just flat out rape us within seconds without getting to know what his favorite color is and expect that is love. I feel like yandere wouldn't do that just for being lustful towards us, saying how much they want us. It should be having sex for wanting to showcase their love to us or show how much they're attached to us and wanting to get more close emotionally to increase the love in different ways. Sex can be emotional for both parties, not just horniness. Romance is the progress and the build up in a relationship, that's why sex should be treasure because it carries so much weight. If we have sex with the yandere without the genuine affection there, then it's nothing. Sex should be a reason, not out of boredom, not out of horniness but out of love and wanting to thrive of being closer. I think yandere will thrive for emotional intimacy. Any kind of intimacy that brings the reader closer and closer to them, to the point they're truly connected. Maybe it's my way of thinking how a yandere should be but it's more logical to me. I just want a bond with the yandere and make me feel like I'm actually their girlfriend they me claimed to be.

Yandere- Sweet, caring, and innocent before switching into someone who displays an extreme, often violent or psychotic, level of devotion to a love interest. Google.

Cancel the sweetness, most yanderes show that to their darling.

We all know that a yandere will snap, making them have a second personality devoted to their lover. Their regular personality is just them in general without the lover being in danger or taken away from them or rejecting them. But don't make it their entire whole character. Make them relatable to us, having the same traits as us. Maybe a bond will be there.

Yandere will snap if their darling is persistent on leaving them or showing signs of rejection. This will trigger them. Or somebody is trying to romance them. Anything with them not getting their lover. The question is, if they get their lover but they don't love them or return the love. This is important to the yandere. Having the person you killed for but they don't want nothing to do with you. It hurts, the yandere want their love not just their existence. And I think yandere would also care for their darling well-being after all, they're in love with darling so when you deeply love the person it'll make sense for you to show care about their health. I don't like how yandere, mostly male yanderes are portray. They wouldn't neglect our well-being or they just don't give a fuck about how we feel, thinking their actions won't affect us negatively. Expect us to be okay with it and somehow we are actually okay with it? We as the readers or as the darlings stated being soft. Look, I get it they will torture us or beat our ass if we act out of line, some of us will still be persistent, mostly I see it's freedom. But it's never MOSTLY about taming the yandere or the yandere can't tame you because you act of control like spiraling or not living up to their expectations not being a traditional woman, just a woman who mimics male behaviors or just not ladylike in general. I see some of this happening, some. And I'm still searching for readers who are not controllable by the yandere. Not making the reader be nice or innocent. Like a batshit crazy reader or the reader who acts real goofy and childish enough the yandere thinking they're the parent for having to tolerate you. But it's a few of these and it makes me sad how male yandere x readers are turning into something I won't be able to enjoy anymore and I want to enjoy it but I can't because we are making it into pattern.

[l0relaii]

hihi!! you already wrote josh with a reader who's not very vocal in bed, but how do you think chris and matt would react to the same scenario?

omg they'd both get so worried 😭😭

chris is very shy and flustered in the beginning of your relationship so i imagine he'd think you're just shy as well and that's why you don't make any sound

but as the relationship progresses and you're still silent while he fucks you he starts getting worried

i think he'd try to be quiet at first too because he'd get embarrassed with all the whimpers coming out of his mouth

but it's so hard to control himself. how is he supposed to keep quiet when you make him feel so good?

in my head chris is either a virgin or he just had some one night stands around campus so he isn't VERY experienced

but in the few sexual encounters that he had his partner was never THAT quiet

that's why he's so confused by your silence in bed. he can't tell if it's 'normal' or not

he watches a lot of some porn and in almost every video he sees the girl is practically screaming her head off. he's aware that not all people are the same but the thought that you don't like him sexually is eating at him

why else would you be so quiet? he thinks maybe you're faking but.. what exactly are you faking? wouldn't you want to be as loud as possible to make him believe you're enjoying it?

let's be honest, i think we can all agree that chris is religiously using tumblr, twitter, reddit yk allat so he'd start searching up and asking people if this is normal

and the answers he gets are SO confusing

"Everyone’s got different reactions to certain situations- this also includes sexual intercourse. As many others have stated, female volume in bed will vary depending on who you are pleasuring. Some may be quieter, or others will literally scream in bed." -yes i searched this up and this is from an actual site

"no shit sherlock.. but how do i know if she likes it or not??"

god this is getting so stupid. maybe he should ask josh..?

wrong. big mistake. HUGE

"what do you mean she's dead silent cochise?"

"i mean, she's just laying there or on top of me or whatever and she doesn't make ANY sounds"

"well, it sounds like maybe you've overestimated your skills bro, maybe you should let me try and i'll let you know if she's still that quiet"

he's joking. chris knows he's joking. but he can't help the anger and insecurity he feels. what if he's right? what if you'd be more vocal with other men?

"oh come on dude don't be an asshole, this is serious"

"alright, i'm sorry.. why don't you just ask her? you know, get the info straight from the source"

"what, do you think i'd be so stupid? of course i as-''

he didn't. he'd been spiraling on this for weeks and he didn't even think to ask you

but what would he say? "hey do you not like how i fuck you?" hell no, he couldn't do it

he TRIES to make you more vocal. he searches up methods on how to make you feel good, how to angle his hips, how to rub at your clit

and one night he FINALLY makes you moan out and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he has ever heard

"oh fuck yes sweetheart.. you sound so good.. come on, let me hear you.."

"mmhm c-chris.. god you feel s-so good"

jeez he could cum right then and there. maybe one day he'd have the courage to ask you more abt your quietness, but right now he's content with all the sounds he can get

sorry if this is not so good i'm kinda tired bcs i stayed up until 4 am crying at a fic i was reading :(

also, pls send in another ask for matt, i wanted to write them both in this one but it would have taken me too long and i really wanted to post smth this morning 🫶

[princess--af]

Nesting (Felix)

So a few things... I haven't kissed anyone in 3 god damn years and I think I've straight up forgot how that shit works. Apologies. I wrote this when I should've been working on an assignment, whoops. I have feels for spoiled Felix. Thank you.

If someone had told you when you first started at the company that in 5 months time, you would end up buried in a nest with the CEOs beloved hybrid sucking delicate hickeys on your neck… Well, you probably would’ve called their bluff.

“Felix, I really don’t think we should be doing this." Your grip on his waist grew tighter as the he licked gently over the bruises he had created. "C'mon sweetheart, you need to let me go."

The hybrid had cornered you the minute you had entered the lavish home for the private party that your boss was hosting. You knew Felix well enough to not question how he had clung to you, rubbing his cheek against yours in a greeting you knew hybrids only did to those they felt close with. But as the night had progressed, he hadn't let you out of his sight for more than a minute. You had originally thought maybe he was anxious with the amount of people in his home, and that he was seeking comfort in you so that he wouldn't cling to your boss. But the low hisses and yowls he had been letting out under his breath all night whenever someone came to close to you, alluded to something more. When you had questioned if he was feeling okay, he had simply clamped a little hand around your wrist and tugged incessantly until you had followed him into his bedroom. Which is how you had ended up in his nest.

"Mine," Felix simply responded, moving his nipping and sucking down your clavicle. "You're mine."

You let out a shaky gasp, curling in on yourself when his long hair started to tickle the bare skin along your chest. "No, Felix, I'm not yours. Changbin-ssi is yours, not me." You halfheartedly tried to push him away with your grip on his waist, only succeeding in making the hybrid huff stubbornly.

"Binnie-hyung says differently." Felix lifted his head to be able to look you dead in the eyes, large eyes blinking back at you slowly, pout on his puffy lips. You had to avert your gaze; you knew what those big eyes could do and you weren't going to give in to the spoiled hybrid lying on top of you. "I see the way you look at me. I know you want me, and hyung said that's okay."

"... I don't look at you in any particular way." You could feel your cheeks heating up at his words. You were lying, and he probably knew it too, but you couldn't admit that you had a crush on the hybrid. "It doesn't matter anyway. It's not right. I work for Changbin-ssi, and if people knew I was... fraternising with his hybrid, I'd never be treated the same again." You couldn’t help but picture the glares your colleagues would give you; rumours spread quickly around that office and you knew people would assume that your recent and sudden promotion was due to Changbin’s soft spot for Felix.

Felix seemed to understand your line of thinking, but was still stubbornly glued to you, keeping you pinned to the blankets underneath you. “Who cares what they think. If hyung didn’t think you were capable, he wouldn’t have moved you up. Your job has nothing to do with me. I want you and I know you want me.” Felix dropped his head back into your neck, hands sliding down your body to rest on your love handles, gently starting to knead the plushness there. “I always get what I want.”

You sighed, glaring up at the ceiling and trying to resist sinking into the nest further, your body starting to go lax under Felix’s kneading. He did always get what he wanted, and he knew how to get you to give in to him.

"Can I kiss you?" Felix spoke softly into your neck, lips brushing against the sensitive skin there, making you shiver.

You knew you shouldn't give in to the boy. It was one thing to let him trap you in his nest like he had, but it was stepping into dangerous territory if you let him kiss you.

"Okay," you whispered, not sure what to expect from the boy. You half expected him to kiss you straight away and not give you any time to reconsider. What you didn't expect was the soft, barely there kisses to start along your jaw, working their way up until he was brushing his lips along your cheeks sweetly. His kneading had stopped for the moment so he could rest his weight on his elbows on either side of your ribcage, trapping you in between his arms. "Felix..."

The boy hummed softly, tilting his head innocently, the action a complete 180 from the sly smile that graced his lips. You couldn't handle the heated look on his face, opting instead to squeeze his waist in warning and kick your leg out in frustration.

Felix had the audacity to giggle.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

He pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, lips lingering for a few moments before you grew frustrated with his teasing, turning your head ever so slightly to kiss him properly, moving one of your hands off his waist to rest on the back of his neck, preventing him from moving away and teasing you further.

You could feel him smiling into the kiss slightly, tilting his head slightly so he could kiss you deeper, plush lips almost bruising yours. You couldn't help the soft whimper you let out when his tongue gently traced the crease of your lips, the boy smirking when you opened up nearly immediately for him. You had never kissed a hybrid before, so you weren't sure what to expect. You definitely weren't prepared for the sharp canines gently nibbling your bottom lip, or the almost inquisitive way his tongue traced your own, rough in a way that sent shivers down your spine and between your legs.

You could physically feel yourself going pliant under him, content to let Felix switch between playfully licking into your mouth, to obscenely suck on your tongue. If you were coherent enough, you would have realised the hybrid had started to slowly grind into the blankets below you, but all you could focus on was his lips and how much you wished you could do this every day for the rest of your life.

If you were coherent enough, you would have heard the door to the nest room open quietly and click shut.

...To be continued?

[chemical-underreaction]

dirk <3< reader dirk <3< reader dirk <3< reader PLEASE

sure thing!! <3 sorry if this wasn't exactly what you wanted, but i had a lot of fun writing this!!

DIRK STRIDER X READER (PITCH) HEADCANONS (*´∇`)┌θ☆(ﾉ>_<)ﾉ

alright, let's be clear. dirk strider does *not* hate many things. he dislikes things, of course. he dislikes a lot of things.

but hate? hating things is too emotionally vulnerable for his tastes.

oh, but you?

he can make some exceptions for you.

you are a special, particular kind of pain in his ass.

there's two very different reasons why (i think) dirk would hate someone.

either they, as a person are in entirely direct conflict with him and get on his nerves in a major way - or, they're way too similar to him, and dirk does not like getting a mirror to his own behavior.

so more than likely, you'd fit into one of those two categories. i don't know you, though.

but regardless of what it is, you probably wouldn't have known for a while.

he didn't treat you.. differently? per say?

he was cold and cryptic and strange to everyone.

but with you, it seemed different. everyone told you it was just in your head. that dirk didn't have a problem with you, he was just like that.

but it was not.

dirk took so much pleasure in confusing you, getting one over on you. playing his little mind games.

granted, he is just kind of like that, but it's different. it was a lot more targeted, pointed - it wasn't purely in jest.

but, more importantly, it wasn't onesided.

you were not just a passive actor in this, oh no.

whatever you did, it was equally targeted to get on his nerves as much as possible.

there came a point where both of you, just for the sake of your fucked up little game, knew more about each other than even your mutual best friends did.

you'd torment each other with things, but you'd never bring anyone else into it or tell anyone things only the two of you knew. there was something of a code of honor. a trust fall system.

despite how much you disliked each other, you'd never actually do tangible harm to each other.

you just engaged in a prolonged battle of psychological warfare over your chat client.

eventually, it gets.. bizarrely flirtatious. not in a traditional way, no, but in a way that was still undeniably flirting.

you still hated him. he still hated you.

it continued regardless.

you two never.. officially got into a pitch relationship.

you're both human, after all. how would you know?

however, eventually, you were informed that your relationship with dirk sounded a whole hell of a lot like blackrom.

so, of course, you approach him about it.

neither of you know *enough* about quadrants to really call it.

but all the trolls have just been assuming it anyways, so you just shrug. by now, it's calling it what it is.

you and dirk have the mutual respect necessary for blackrom. and the mutual attraction.

needless to say, you have the "hate" aspect down.

alright, miscellaneous hc time.

he'll offer to teach you how to swordfight. he might only have done it so he could rock your shit, but he'll always patch you up after. and that little smile he gives when you first managed to get him back was pretty genuine.

just enjoys teaching you how to do his stuff in general. he'll tease you about sucking at it, but he'll actually be happy when you make progress. curse his tiny soft spot.

shows up in your house/wherever you live at random. also likes sneaking up on you whenever he sees you. the more you hate it, the more he'll do it.

he'll claim that you're more attracted to him than he is you - but that's a total lie. he's a little pathetic sometimes.

gets very flustered when you're better at him than something. anything. literally anything at all. why, exactly.. good luck getting that out of him.

actually gets genuinely upset if he goes too far with you in any way. it'll mess with him a lot, and he'll apologize profusely.

he cares about you, despite how annoying you are. despite how much he hates you, despite all of it. he cares about you a lot. and, in his own weird way, loves you.

[wimble-warcrime]

Ooh can I request how you think kid and killer would show their interest in you? Basically their way of courting you/beginning of a relationship. Together or separate, whatever you feel like 🖤🖤

hi anon, thanks for the ask! i'd be happy to do both :)

im a big fan of the concept of courting in general (to many period drama influences) so some of these may seem weird or ooc

kidd-

different from killer, who would take a more traditional approach to courting/wooing a potential partner, kidd's approach is more... chaotic... we'll say

we all know that this tulip head has the emotional range of a teaspoon, and therefore struggles with expressing any emotion other than rage and pride, so be prepared for a whirlwind of whiplash

he doesn't know what he wants, you don't know what he wants

killer knows what he wants, but won't be at all helpful in this case

while he will staunchly deny this until the day he dies, kidd's love language is acts of service (beating the shit out of people for you), gift giving (making you things to beat the shit out of people) and quality time (discussing in depth on how to beat the shit out of people)

expect a lot of shiny things, handmade metal contraptions, and requests for you to just sit with him (he tells you he needs someone to hold something for him, or shine the light at a particular angle, but we all know he just wants to be around you)

he fails miserably at any attempts of flirtation

the first time you cackle at him for his terrible pick-up lines, he shuts himself away for a few days. the second time, (with killer's guidance) he realizes that making you laugh would be great way to warm up to each other.

it becomes a witty back-and-forth of banter and cheesy pick-up lines, and a solid friendship is formed. you talk about whatever, he gives his (sadistic) input, he rambles on about his latest invention (probably a weapon) and you give your feedback

you don't know that each of these conversations are pertaining to the same creation, he's (very secretly, and quite skillfully (to killer's surprise)) getting your input, because he's making it for you.

it's months in the making, he probably started right after your first lengthy discussion about preferred weapon types or something like that.

i'd like to think that for kidd, it's obsession at first insult with him, so you'd probably be relatively new to the crew. he wouldn't last long enough to have known (and liked you) for years, no patience with dis man

he gets talkative when he drinks, so i guarantee you the first time he gets like black out drunk around you, he spills his guts. its an unspoked rule amongst the crew, that any 'gushy' feelings that come from that captain while he is inebriated, are not to ever EVER be brought up afterwards.

so you kind of just. sit there. thinking abt the fact that this angry tulip man like you. and wont admit it to your face.

after the first emotional moment TM you guys share, things start to pick up. you are witness to a softer side of the one-dimensional captain, and quite like it.

start seeking those out more. he won't, but the best progress is one made in emotional vulnerability. (dr. wimble advice corner approved)

he cant take a hint, so dont bother dropping any. if you wanna go forward, say something. kidd cannot read (alegedly), let alone between the lines. your best bet is to whip out your tits (gn) in front of him.

i will die on this hill, kidd is firmly a boob guy, dont try to change my mind. he lov em

there is no "so, should we date now?" phase with this guy, he just skips right to the "fucking them with the lights on" phase. a hot and heavy encounter later, and he has firmly planted himself at your side, no takes-backsies~~

you wake up the morning after hovered in hickeys and bite marks, and EVERYONE know your his now. he wont say it, but you are.

killer-

killer on the other hand, is a traditionalist, an 'el hopaness romtic' if ya know what im sayin

he will woo the pants right off you, season two anthony bridgerton wet shirt scene style (iykyk)

you probably aren't new to the crew, kil strikes me as the kinda guy who doesn't know he likes someone until it's too late. like man's good at self reflection and all, but it takes TIME to get to him, so there is no 'love at first fisticuffs' with him.

it starts with friendship (demi killer till the day i die), you two are like each others bestfriends. no one tops kidd (ehehe) for this guy, but you can tie

it's the little things at first, and more one-sided at the beginning (on your end), like complimenting his cooking, offering to help with dishes

maybe you buy him some hair stuff, he did mention that he was running out, off handedly. or, you sharpen up his knives for him while he's away

Killer's love language is also acts of service, more so on the receiving end tho, but he likes to give gifts. he'll cook for you, personally

like one meal just for you type thing. he says he wants you to try out a new recipe of his, but really, he just made you a nice meal, and cant say it to your face.

you two act like a couple already, but both deny it, saying youre just 'really good friends'

he first really realises that he likes you, seriously likes (maybe love) you when you get injured. and not like, oh little scratch, but like, almost died injured.

a foe has never been downed faster, than when killer heard your scream of pain and terror from across the battle field, and fucking flew across to get to you.

it's obvious to anyone that mans got it badd. he doesnt leave your side until youre concious again and the promptly blows up you for being dumb and reckless and almost getting killed. its a nasty fight, one that shatters your friendship. no one expected anything like that from him. probably the most anyone has ever heard from him in one go

he is just worried, but cant tell you that he loves you, without fully knowing how you feel back. not a guy who readily takes risks like that.

it's a few weeks before he's talking to you again, afraid that he astronomically fudged it by his little outburst. the exchanges are clipped, (you, who had been pining hard for him for like ever) and you're positively sure he hates your guts (he doesnt he just scared)

he avoids you, trying to put as much distance between you two as physically possible, trying to get rid of his feelings for you. but the you go and get yourself hurt. again

it was an accident this time, he saw it happen. like slow motion, the knife you were holding was bumped out of your hand by someone backing into you, it fell, cutting your hand open, before notching itself into the flood

he blows up at the person responsible, before dragging you to the medbay to patch you up. all the while, muttering about how clumsy you are, how much of a danger magnet you seem to be.

its at that moment you know how he feels. it's not said outright, but the care he takes with you, treating you like you're glass

you lean down to kiss his mask. just a small pec, an utterance of a 'thank you' whispered after

but

his heart is beating like a wild mustang, and he freezes. he makes sure your affection wasn't just because you were grateful (after he starts working again)

your reassurance is like cupids arrow for his heart. you like him, have liked him for a while

nothing really changes between your dynamic after that, at least from the outside. really, you've started to be more physically affectionate behind closed doors.

it's a huge step when he takes his mask of around you. the lights are off, and you can't see his face, but he lets you touch it. huge step in your relationship

he's still a baddie, violent and unhinged, (to keep up appearances), but when no ones looking, he'll love on you

this feels kinda rushed ngl, but alas, when is it not? anywayz anon, hope you like it! iv'e already done poly! kidkiller here, i hope you enjoy :)

btw my requests are open, but im still in college, so be mindful if it takes me a hot minute to reply to them