#but pls do not put yourself in a bad space to listen to me ramble

[ipromiseimawriter]

i think i will talk about it actually??

sparing a few minutes, for the hearts of the narrative (the most unconditional love i've ever known):

my friends helped save my life. whether it's people i see/talk to almost every week, or people i haven't spoken to in years, that idea of being chosen just because has brought me the greatest joys of my twenty-seven years. i come from a place that - while not without love - comes with a lot of conditions, comes with an all-seeing all-scrutinizing eye that has not relented since i was a child. (it comes with knowing that i was in a terrible place for years, and there's almost nothing i could have done myself to change that.)

as i get older, against all odds. as i unearth myself from the grave i tripped in years ago. as i look in the mirror and see myself come back to life. i find that many of the people who were 'supposed' to love me do not like what that looks like (or sounds like, feels like, experiences life like). it's always kind of been that way. i just assumed before that i would get over it someday, be happy playing the part i was given.

but that's never going to make me happy. even now as i play along, follow the steps because "[she] couldn't have made it on her own" , there is something emerging. something that i have not felt in so long. or perhaps this is the first time, where i am finally seeing myself for what and who i truly am.

and it is because of the loving hands, of the kind eyes and compassionate words, of those friends (of that chosen family, really) that i am still alive (all these years later, after staring death in the face over and over, all the way to staring over that same river and going "maybe it would work this time if i didn't back down"). if i didn't know that someone would catch me, in the end. because even at the bottom of the bottle, the despair of despairs, someone would still pick up the phone. someone would still hold me and didn't question the tears in my eyes. someone would still check in, ask me if i've eaten or had water, send me a silly video in hopes of lifting my spirits.

they have made me a better person. all of this has made me someone who wants to try, because how else am i going to be there for the people i love if i don't put some real effort into keeping myself here? while i cannot say that this exact method of thought works for everyone (and it would probably be unwise to do so), it hit me like a train one day. that oh! i want to be here, and i want to be there for the people who love me. i want to love them with everything i've got, and make sure they don't have to doubt that.

i have grown more discerning, to who i give myself away to. too many years of bleeding myself out, i think. i hemorrhaged. i was almost as good as dead, like i had wanted to be anyway. and i kept asking myself, who would want this? who would bother to keep me around?

( "my family", i reminded myself. i know how much i hurt my mother. how i devastated my sister. how even my father saw me differently. how my grandmother and i held each other in the throes of our shared despair. how i had to promise myself that i would never make my grandparents bury me.

but even all of that comes with a terrible weight.

i still worry that there will come a day where they will not want me anymore. i am not the daughter they know. the shape my parents molded for me has not fit me in over a decade. it never will, ever again. my sister knows. has kept her promise of secrecy until i am ready. but even she knows that this is a terrible weight.

what a weight. to risk being unloved for good. to accept their fractured love, to keep myself smaller and more digestible, to keep myself safe for a little longer. )

then, a funny thing happened:

my friends kept me anyway.

not everyone, not by any means. i shut people out on purpose, pushed them away in droves, how could i expect them to understand that it was all a cry for help? one i didn't even really get. but my god, they held on, and we held on. and next thing i knew, the worst stretch of my life was ending.

and you remember the look on your friends' faces when they insisted that we're tired too. we really don't have to keep going - it's okay. and you remember that the only people who have given you permission to exist are your best friends and your grandmother. //... you bought those tickets because you love your friends and you want them to have an experience they'll remember. they pay you back in any way they can. it's more than you've gotten in a long time. (february 2023, unpublished draft)

and god. the things i could say about these people, i wouldn't know where to start. their unabashed love for what they enjoy. the way they handle one another with care and understanding; even if they have not been shown that compassion, even if things fuck up and fall apart, even if the world is too cruel to bear, there is so much care. they are clever and funny and impossibly quick to the punch (sometimes to the point where i can't keep myself upright). they are courageous even when they might doubt themselves. they are thoughtful, curious, never willing to take the world at face-value when there is so much to discover.

my friends are artists and poets, performers and observers, craftsmen and analysts, more beyond that even, and they are brilliant. whether i have known them since early childhood, or from the past few years, or somewhere in between -- my life is so full of color because of them. i could sing their praises until the end of my days, and i think i will to be honest. i am tired of stifling my love. it is so loud.

one of my dear friends back in new york taught herself self-compassion through writing and performing a one-woman show; it was the most transformative experience i've ever had the pleasure of witnessing, just by being her dramaturg from thousands of miles away. it reminded me of everything i have gotten to see and understand in all these people, just by waking up. i have gotten to celebrate in their joys, mourn their losses, shake out a battle cry at all that has tried to keep them down. there is so much i wish i could fix for them, but i know that is far out of my control. so i will do what i can. i will be there, with a torch, one foot in front of the other through night.

did you know my friends are writing books, that people will read someday, and feel changed by? did you know my friends are making art of all kinds and sharing it with the world, or just with one another? did you know they're trying their fucking hardest to support themselves through an impossible world? that they have more people to love, who get to experience them too? that they have dreams to chase and hopes to protect? did you???

( to be honest, you probably did, even if not directly.

it's such a cool fucking thing. a beautiful thing. to see how people love each other so earnestly. we do that by choice. we choose love on purpose. that alone has kept me on tumblr this long, to see how that love resounds even with people i've never talked to. )

and there are people i still need to do better by. family, friends, anyone who's lingered on the fringes. there are crossroads i must figure out how to go down, if certain directions will put me in danger or if i am simply too afraid to try again.

but i am here to love. i am here to do it scared, again and again, even after getting hurt enough to give up (for good, almost).

they saved my life by reminding me that i was worth the pain of saving myself. and god, i am going to be grateful for the rest of my life. one -- with hope and effort -- longer than i ever expected.

and obviously: if and/or when y'all read this, thank you. even all this isn't enough.

[hoonhrt]

EMBRASSE-MOI

: pairing — student! jay x tutor! reader

: genre — fluff, crack 

: song recc. — L’amour by Miel De Montagne 

: a/n — this lowkey sucks but I've been wanting to get work out so I'm sorry if this isn't the best :(( also I'm still learning french so if some of it is wrong pls lmk so i can fix it!! 

Jay was your school’s resident bad boy. blond hair, all-black outfits, cuts class and yells at kids that look his way. you know? the usual. You on the other hand were the complete opposite. straight-A student. A quiet kid who didn’t dare look the ways of Jay Park and his Clique™. So imagine the shock that was felt when the boy you avoided at all costs, walks up to you in the middle of the cafeteria asking for French lessons. 

“You want me to do what?” He rolls his eyes, tired of this conversation already. 

“Can you not hear? I’m failing French and I need to pass or else my parents won’t let me move to France.” He speaks as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“And you’re asking me why?” He rolls his eyes again for what felt like the 100th time. You’re just confused about how he even knows of your existence.

“Listen, all I know that you’re in my French class and that you pay attention, I’ll even pay you I just need to get my mark up.” You perk up to the sound of money. You don’t really need but it’s still nice to have some. Doing this will get you good Karma right? 

“Fine. Meet me at the library every Monday and Wednesday after class, got it?” Jay stares at you with annoyance. He really does not want to be wasting his senior year on stupid lessons but, here we are. He reluctantly agrees and watches you walk away, struggling to hold your books in your arms. He turns around and lets out a deep sigh, wondering if the hot chicks and fancy baguettes in France are really worth this

Minutes turned into hours as you waited for Jay to show up. You waited patiently for hours just for this kid to not show up. Annoyed, you start to pack up your books. You don’t know why you’d think someone like Jay would actually show up to a voluntary tutor session. You were just about to make your way out of the library when you see someone running towards you almost like the flash. As the figure got closer to your still body, you realize it was Jay. Now, bent over in front of you gasping for air with his tongue out like a dog. You stared at his limped-over figure with confusion and slight disgust. 

“s-s-sorry i was… late, i f-forgot about… this.” he manages to speak out with the little air he has in him. He stands up and evens out his breath. 

“what makes you think i’m gonna tutor you now? you wasted my time Park, i have a life too you know.” you snap at him. He stares at you for a brief second before letting out a hearty laugh, throwing his head back and slapping his leg. He sees your serious expression, your eyes glaring at him like an eagle and awkwardly stops laughing. 

“Look, i’m paying you and this is only gonna last for a little while. i just need to pass, that’s it.” His eyes shine with a hopeful gleam, a look that is extremely rare to see from Jay Park. He looked a little cute. You dramatically sigh and start walking into the library, Jay following behind you. 

You settle at the table you sat at prior, re-opening your book bag to pull out your notes. He just watches you do that, not making an effort to even bring out a pencil. 

“Okay, so how much french do you even know?” 

He stares into space, a little hesitant to continue. “Um, i can ask if i can go to the bathroom?” You stare at him with disbelief. You’ve been in this class with him for months and that’s all he knows. 

“THAT’S IT?” 

“Oh and i can say good morning!” you let out a loud groan that catches the attention of others around, causing them to loudly shush at you. Feeling annoyed again, you contemplate if the money was really worth it. You sigh out and start looking for your notes from the beginning of the semester. This was gonna take a LONG time. 

“... and that’s how you conjugate verbs in the past tense, aka passé composé!” You finish off the session with joy. Jay on the other hand has gone completely blank, not remembering a single word you just told him. He stares down at his notes, then at you, then back down at his notes. You can see the struggle on his face and he hasn’t said a word yet. 

“I’m never gonna pass french. This is it. I can kiss France goodbye.” he claims with despair. This already too hard for him and he barely has learned anything. He sets his head on the table and mumbles to himself about how he will never be happy if he doesn’t live his youthful 20’s in France. You sat across from him irritated with his discouraging behaviour and a little sad that you weren’t able to teach him well. Until you come up with a plan that might help him improve much quicker.  

“What if… we hang out this weekend? We can do something and we’ll only speak in French! Of course I’ll help you and all that. But like, maybe? Only if you want to of course you probably don’t wanna spend your weekend with me i dont know you know its just a plan.” you ramble on and on without stopping and Jay simply just watches you. He smirks a little before nodding. 

“How about you put your number in my phone and then I’ll text you when I’m free hm?” he slides his phone across the table towards you and eyes you typing it in. He catches a glimpse of your rose-coloured cheeks and smirks a little more. 

“Okay, uh there’s my number! Just um, text me you know, when you’re free!” you manage to stutter out. Jay just nods at you and again, watches you walk away. This time a slight smile across his face. 

A sudden notification pulls you away from your thoughts. An unknown number that you had a feeling belonged to a particular boy you didn’t think would actually text you. 

042-002-1130: bonjour 

042-002-1130: was that even right

042-002-1130: anyways I’m free on saturday if you wanna hang ig 

042-002-1130: samedi is saturday right 

042-002-1130: it is wow im such a genius 

You let out a snort at his cocky behaviour and reply back, letting him know that you were free yourself and to meet you at the school grounds at 2 pm. 

Saturday shows up as you wait outside the school gates, a picnic basket in hand. An all-black car with dark tinted windows zooms up to you. The window is pulled down and alas, the handsome boy sits in the driver’s seat, ushering you to get into the car with his hand. 

“Woah a picnic basket? Listen y/n you’re cool and all but this isn’t a date,” he speaks and notices you roll your eyes. A smug smile tugging his lips. 

“No you asshole, I have a plan with this.” 

“Tell me,” Jay begins to drive away from the school. The destination is unknown to you but extremely familiar to the boy next to you. 

“In here there is a bunch of food, in order for you to eat, you’re gonna have to say the name of the food in french.” He turns his head to see you looking back at him, a sweet smile places on your face. Jay has always known of you. You sat in the back of the classroom, handed in all your work on time and never skipped a class. You had very few friends and always seemed to be lost in a dream world when you weren’t working. Jay had never been able to speak to you personally as you always avoided him but know he has the chance to actually talk to you, and he doesn’t wanna mess it up. 

The car stopped at the edge of a giant grassy field. The greenery going miles ahead. Trees surrounding the two of you. Jay like a gentleman runs out of the car to open the door for you. You blush at his actions, thanking him silently by smiling at him. 

He directs you to a small spot under a tree. You lay out a blanket for you to sit on while Jay leans up against the tree. You tell him to sit down next to you as you bring out all the little snacks to share with him. He thinks that he could get used to this. 

“D’accord, commençons! Qu'est-ce que ç'est?” (okay, lets start! What is this?) 

You pick up a grape. He thinks for a little bit before answering. “Un raisin.” (a grape) You clap with glee and hand him over the grape. A silence falls between you both, unaware of how to keep going. He picks up a strawberry and brings it to your face. “Tu aime les fraises?” (do you like strawberries?) You eye him for a second, for someone who said he only knows how to ask how to go the bathroom in french, he knows quite a bit. You nod a little, opening your mouth and letting him feed you the sweet fruit. Your face matches the colour of the strawberry and he giggles. You pull out a sandwich and ask him to describe what’s in it. 

“Dans le sandwich, il y a du jambon, du beurre, et de la tomate.” (in the sandwich there is some ham, some butter, and some tomato.) He speaks confidently. 

“Trés bien Jay! Tu es bon en parler francias!” (very good Jay! You are really good at speaking French!) 

“Merci, mon Cheri.” (Thank you, my dear.) you blush even more before and shy away from Jay’s gaze. Jay being the very bold guy that he is, placing his hand underneath your jaw, forcing you to meet his eyes. You both just stare at each other as the sun sets behind you. Was Jay always this beautiful? His eyes scan over your face seeking for any discomfort, none is to be found. So he makes the move and starts to lean in. You already have your eyes closed and lips puckered out, ready to embrace a feeling you’ve never felt before.

His breath fans over your lips and just before he kisses you he asks “je peux t’embrasser? (can I kiss you?) you eagerly nod and whisper out “embrasse-moi.” (kiss me.) Jay finally places his lips on yours and everything feels right. Your hands find their way to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. You stay in this position with him for a little while before you pull back for air. Both his hands cradle your face, his thumb rubbing across the apples of your cheeks.

“I still have a lot to learn y’know?” Jay breaks the silence. You laugh out loud, falling into his lap. 

“Same time next week then yeah?” He lets out a ‘hmm’ and watches you rest your head against his thigh, playing with the ends of your hair. ‘Maybe France could wait a little’ he thought. 

[notnctu]

switchin’ lanes - l.jn | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series 

genre ➠ slow burn, smut, pwp???, fluff (if u squint) wordcount ➠ 8.3k details ➠  fem!reader, streetracer!jeno, badboy!jeno, college!au,  ━ where you and jeno are in a relationship, but not with each other. warnings ➠ explicit language, cheating, flirty banter, alcohol consumption, drugs, yall at a party, physical fighting (not with you), mentions of cuts/bruises, hickeys, drunk public dry humping, thigh riding, fingering, oral (f/receiving) synopsis ➠ If your boyfriend didn’t decide to join such a stupid unofficial club, then maybe you wouldn’t be in such a sticky situation where Lee Jeno is literally knuckles deep in your sticky situation as he drives you home. Or maybe if your boyfriend actually touched you, then you wouldn’t be seeking it from someone else, who can’t keep his hands off of you. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo​ ; @dearlyminhyung​

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! i hope you enjoy the series pls leave me feedback lmaoo ill literally take anything. we also hit a milestone for followers and honestly its so crazy to know how quickly this tiny sideblog has grown! we’re so thankful that yall follow us, thank u for lovin us and we will try our best to put out more content!! also through the lens hit 1k notes how is that even possible like wow im speechless thank u for everyone who left such kind comments i treasure every form of feedback :) 

The heavy double doors of the classroom stare tauntingly at you. The evening setting in, painting the sky with strokes of orange and pink. You managed to remain complaint free the entire day, until your forgetful boyfriend canceled on you because of a club meeting. A meeting for an unofficial club on campus because it is illegal to street race. A club consists of delinquents that are obsessed with cars and steal your boyfriend away from you. 

This is the fifth time this week that your boyfriend stood you up or coincidentally forgot your dates. You can’t remember the last time he physically stood in front of you and not through a phone screen. However, it is not completely the stupid club’s fault that your boyfriend has neglected you. 

He truly is the worst boyfriend ever. He blames everything on his bad memory and does not prioritize you in his life. He loves one thing --- his car. You could be lying in a hospital bed, and he wouldn’t care to check up on you. 

So why did you stay with him? Because you’re scared of being alone? Possibly, but it is a can of worms that you did not want to open just yet. Sex is definitely not the reason you stay with him. He hasn’t touched you sexually since the first and now, last time you two slept together. 

You try your best, to only be waved off with a yawn. He doesn’t compliment you. He doesn’t look at you lovingly. He doesn’t even kiss you for longer than two seconds. You are a toppling tower, ready to crumble at any given moment.

The anger in your body fuels you as you pull the door open to reveal several men in leather jackets chatting away with each other. One by one, they all begin to lay their eyes on who abruptly interrupted their joyous conversations. Your eyes scan the room full of intimidating men, whose auras cause a shiver to run down your spine.

Your boyfriend is nowhere in sight, given that there are plenty enough guys who have the ability to cover him. You walk into the open space and the entire mood of the room shifts. 

Heavy cologne and a deafening silence fill the air. One particular male, who has been eyeing you the entire time, gets up and walks towards you. 

“Are you lost, baby?” Scoffs and chuckles sparsely cover the corners of the room. The unknown male has a jarring cut on his eyebrow, matching a small bruise on his upper cheekbone. 

“I’m looking for my boyfriend…” Your weak voice trails off from the sudden attractive male intimidation. The tall man peers around the room, crossing his arms.

“If you are this beautiful woman’s boyfriend, please fucking come out now. It’s very rude to keep your girl waiting for you!” Initially, his low throaty shout startles you. A heavy heat falls on your cheeks when you register his choice of adjectives.

The whole room falls silent once more, before your pitiful boyfriend steps out from between two bulkier men. “Hey babe, what are you doing here?” His eyes nervously bounce around the room, a shaky laughter erupting from his gut. 

“Sorry, Jeno. I didn’t mean to cause such a scene. I didn’t even see her come in.”

Like a trigger, you remember your intentions for storming in uninvited. Jeno gauges your flaming reaction to your boyfriend’s apologetic words. He nods, not out of acceptance of the apology, but out of disbelief.

He pulls your boyfriend by the collar of his white shirt and your eye widens at the condescending tone that causes your boyfriend to cower, “I’m not the one to apologize to.” With a careless toss, your boyfriend ends up shaking in front of you.

“Jeno is not the only one you should be scared of.” You whisper angrily to him as the rest of the room continues on with their previous chatter. 

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, “listen, Jeno’s been arrested before. You don’t want to get on that man’s bad side.” 

Your eyes wander behind your boyfriend’s hunching shoulders, catching Jeno steal peeks at you too. There is no interest in the other rambling male that stands in front of him. He just wants to check you out a bit more. 

He is the hottest person you’ve ever gotten the attention of. You feel flustered, and a bit flattered at his lingering gaze. His brown hair is slicked back messily, giving you more to admire. Jeno is an absolute cliche from a bad boy fanfiction. He is unreal, and the odd chance that he can’t keep his eyes off of you, is also unreal. 

But with a light nudge from a blue haired fellow, Jeno’s eyes peel away from your’s. They exchange a few words, which then propels Jeno to hurriedly put on his slightly tattered leather jacket.

You lick your lips to the sight of his body lines as he stands up to follow his friend, but not without another look back at you. Noticing your stare still on him, he bids you a tiny wave goodbye with a smirk to die for. And like that, he’s gone. 

“Are you listening to me?” Your boyfriend’s voice finally reaches your reality. Your focus shifts to the obviously irritated expression on his face. 

“I guess, I’m not. Don’t fucking stand me up again or I will key your car.” You aren’t actually those kinds of girls, but your boyfriend didn’t take a threat seriously unless it involves his highly treasured car. 

And like Jeno, you also make your exit out of the steamy room. The chilly night brush against your unknowingly hot cheeks. Then, you take yourself to the only unhealthy coping mechanism you can think of: a place of free alcohol and no boyfriend.

It takes you a few months to completely stop caring about your dying relationship. You figure how easy it is for your boyfriend to do it, so you make the same decision.

He spends his nights with his friends he made from his club, and has totally become a self proclaimed car enthusiast. You lose yourself in copious amounts of cheap alcohol at your local parties and it’s almost like you stop sulking over a man who kisses his car goodnight.

While being alone did not bother you as much as you had been dreading, the sexual frustration is a completely different issue. You are absolutely drooling whenever your eyes find Jeno in the crowds of sweaty bodies.

If there is one good thing that came out of your boyfriend’s membership in that club, it had to be Lee Jeno and a few other notable people who attended the same parties as you.

He became a very close acquaintance, and you had learned some very important names associated with the Ridin’ Club. Na Jaemin, Lee Haechan, and Huang Renjun. But the three could not compare to the kindhearted Jeno that makes butterflies stir in your lower abdomen. 

Over the months, you also had learned rather quickly that your sexually clouded mind had tricked you previously into thinking that Jeno’s stares were full of lust for you. His girlfriend makes it clear that it isn’t the case.

Although you have caught the couple making out several times when trying to use the bathroom, your feverish, impure attraction toward Jeno never calmed down.

“You’re looking very tempting tonight, baby.” Jeno’s beaming eye smile greets you, even after completely undressing you with his gaze. His arms are wide open to embrace your warm body. 

The parties are always too hot to wear a fully clothed outfit. You often settle for a cute tank top and a short skirt to prevent your legs from collecting extra moisture. Jeno, without a fail, shows up in black jeans that clad his lower half, tucked with a simple white shirt. His tattoos and toned arms being on full display for you to admire. 

“Better make sure your actual baby doesn’t hear that.” The loud beats of the music make Jeno’s chuckle almost inaudible, but his expression remains cheerful, as per usual. “Did you get into another fight?” 

The fresh wound cut through his smooth complexion, which will eventually join the rest of his collection of fading scars. He mindlessly grazes over the new bandaging and dramatically winces. Clearly concerned, you grab his hand away from the injury. “Don’t touch it, stupid.”

His smile curves into a sly smirk, as he intertwines your fingers and kisses the back of your hand. “It doesn’t hurt at all.” His chest heaves into a fit of giggles, “just wanted to see you care for me.” 

Groaning, you shake his massive hand off of your’s. “Very funny. I should start charging you for my attention.” 

“Name your price, I got all the money in the world for you.” He winks, while lightly pinching your cheek. You are lying to yourself if you thought you could ever stay away from him. Jeno stirs up a part of you that craves the cheesy nicknames, flirty comments and the undivided attention. 

He motions you to follow him into the mess of people. Almost as if he’s a god, the crowd parts for you two to walk through without unnecessary extra bodies. The fear that settles in many individuals’ chest is understandable.

Like your first impression, Jeno is a complete walking fanfiction trope. He negotiates better with his fists, usually with good reason. The guns of the Ridin’ Club, though, his friends are very much to be feared as well. They will not hesitate to run someone over, if given the heated situation to do so. And most definitely, you can count them to be backing up their fighter, Jeno. 

You had not been mindful before of the chatter that regarded the secret Ridin’ Club. They are notorious for fast paced very illegal races in the middle of nowhere destinations and tempers that aren’t meant to be provoked. Besides their intimidating aura, it melts away after getting to know them.

Lee Haechan, the most annoying brat, but has the strongest, the most loyal bond to his boys. He’s also notably funny, often making you laugh with an exchange of banter.

Huang Renjun, the whiniest and initially quiet boy, but grows to be one of the loudest and will chew you out if anyone dares try engaging in verbal combat. 

Na Jaemin, the flirty playboy who always has a swarm of girls, but the gentlest man with a soft spot for cute things. 

And finally, Lee Jeno, the owner of your nights. He is the friendliest of them all, despite him being the toughest one. While his stare can kill, melting away his layers reveal the warmest heart. Not that Jeno is the only one to show initial interest in you, but he is the most considerate to the people he holds close to him.

He has taken care of you for many drunk nights and watched protectively over your intoxicated figure in the crowds. He makes you feel safe and seen, which are some of the many reasons you are entirely attracted to him.

“(Y/N)!” Jaemin’s scream pierce your ears the moment the blueberry catches your eye. He excitedly nudges the other two boys, who are busy pouring drinks into red cups.

“You’re going to make me spill it, idiot!” Renjun grumbles, but looks up to see your dazzling smile and tremendous excitement. His own smile grows, “so the life of the party finally decided to say hi.”

“Hi, my fanclub. I appreciate the long awaited greeting.” Your over the top, sarcasm causes all of them to chime loudly. Haechan hands you a cup and wraps his arm around your shoulders. 

Jeno joins you at your side and the five of you clink your drinks to the ceiling. A fit of yells over the music and a competition of who can finish first. As per usual, you set your cup down after draining the entirety. The others are still chugging the burning liquid down their throats. 

Haechan coughs after dropping his cup onto the counter. His face is twisted with the most disgusted contour, “I don’t know how you do it, (Y/N).”

“I already drank more than you guys, so it just tastes like water now.” You scream over the loud music. Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun toss their empty cups into the sink. 

At this rate, you are completely blindsided by the effects of the alcohol as your legs give out to gravity. Jeno catches you quickly, holding your elbows and your head is placed on his shoulder. Jaemin chuckles lovingly, before helping Jeno balance you against the island. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders, as the room spins in front of you. 

“You good?” Haechan pats your head gently, whispering close to you.

“I---” You try catching your breath after being winded. “--It’s hitting me now.”

Jeno wraps his arm around your lower waist to draw you close to him, “want to go sit down?” He mumbles into your hair. You nod, Jeno and Renjun supporting your limp body to walk over to the couch.

The dark living room is lit up only by colorful led lights, but it is not enough to make out much of anything. Everyone is in their own world, dancing and socializing within their own selves. The two men set you down on the cushion, but your impulse catches onto Jeno’s wrist before he leaves. Renjun is already lost in the crowd.

“Can I sit on your lap?” You pout cutely, all the shame in your body has been displaced with courage. Jeno’s eyes soften at your sudden request, and kisses the top of your forehead.

“The throne is all yours.” He says as he sits at your side and pulls you on top of his thick thighs. His arm is loosely dangling around your waist, resting on top of your thighs. 

The intimate position causes your mind to wander into dark thoughts. His strong, sturdy legs feel delicious against your clothed core. While you’ve been in this position once before, you could never forget how protected, yet very horny it makes you feel. 

“What’s on your mind, (y/n)?” Jeno’s deep voice brushes against your bare shoulder and you feel his chest press against your back. “You’ve been pretty silent tonight.”

You turn slightly to face him, “if I told you, I’m scared it would ruin things between us.”

“There’s nothing in the world that can hold me back from you.” He is always so quick to spill such alluring words. His soft lips graze lightly on your skin as his sparkling eyes look up at your expression.

All it takes is one more tiny kiss on your arm to get you grabbing his face, drawing him into a steamy, long awaited kiss. Surprisingly, he kisses you back, open mouth and tongue lapping with your’s. His hands reposition your legs to where you straddle him. Your faces dive deeper into each other’s as the kiss continues to intensify.

Jeno’s lips still have a hint of alcohol, but he mostly tastes like mint gum. And they are comparable to a cloud, the softest lips you have ever made out with. It is like kissing pure heaven, completely different from your boyfriend’s two second pecks. Jeno devours you in a needy way, like he’s been waiting to explore the wonders of your lips. 

However, you pull away when you feel the vibration of his phone against your inner thigh, almost like a wake up call. As if all the liquid courage disappeared, you blink back in shock at Jeno’s plump wet lips. The thought of his girlfriend crosses your mind, and maybe slight guilt for your own boyfriend fills your system.

You quickly start getting up from his hot body, “fuck, I’m so sorry..” But his hands pull you back onto him, your legs finding their way open above his thighs again. 

“Don’t be, I’ve always wondered what your lips would taste like.” A smirk, then a hearty chuckle relaxes your contracting nerves at the potential of a ruined friendship. 

“But, your girlfriend..” Your tiny voice trails off and Jeno picks up your chin. His fingers rubbing along your jawline.

His eyes do another lap around your features. He admires your averting shy eyes, your beautiful lips, and how they all come together to make a stunning you. 

There is no doubt in Jeno’s mind that he is very attracted to you. He knew it the moment you barged into the club meeting. You are his type of woman, a good mixture of confident and timidness. You like to have some fun, and aren't afraid to be bold. Not to mention, that you are incredibly hot and every time you flirt back just makes him melt inside.

“She won’t care. She hooks up with people all the time.” It puzzles you, all this time you had been holding yourself back from Jeno because he has a girlfriend. All to find out that the relationship isn’t as serious as you thought it to be.

“I know, it doesn’t make sense. But we aren’t two people to be tied down, but at the same time, we like each other enough to want to stay together.”

Your confused expression causes Jeno to laugh and ask, “what’s the dilemma with your boyfriend?”

Rolling your eyes at the mention of your boyfriend, you sigh, “it’s like we’re still together, but we aren’t at the same time. We’ve abandoned the relationship unknowingly.”

Jeno runs a warm hand up and down your thigh, while he listens intently to you. He nods, grabbing your waist to pull you over his groin. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“No, he’s a shitty person and an even shittier boyfriend. We literally haven’t fucked for the past year. I’m practically a virgin again.” His hand automatically gives your thigh a light squeeze.

Jeno’s eyes light up as you quickly cover your mouth out of embarrassment. A devilish smirk raises his cheekbone, and lust clouds his mind. Gauging his reaction, your cheeks turn hot.

“We’ll have to change that, don’t we? My baby must be all kinds of frustrated. Tell me, do you like when I touch you then?” Jeno drops in tempo, usually when he wants to be more intimidating with a deeper voice. 

You clear your throat intending to speak, but you can only nod your head in response. “C’mon, (Y/N). Use your words, like a big girl.” Even with the loud music and continuous chatter, you can hear Jeno‘s taunting whisper. 

His words tickle your collarbone as he runs his lips against your neck. Your heart is pumping rapidly at the turn of events, as if the possibility of having something beyond a kiss from Jeno is more than possible at this rate. 

Jeno enjoys your small whimpers as he marks your neck with purple love bites. Right in the center of the crowded room, Lee Jeno is just casually giving you hickeys.

“Yes, I love that you can’t keep your hands off of me.” 

Almost immediately, you can feel his lips curve into a smile on your skin. Pop! Jeno marvels the darkness against your skin in the mood lighting. A small part of him hopes you do end up seeing your boyfriend sometime soon, so he can see who you really belong to.

“How about we try touching like this?” Jeno pushes you down hard against his pelvis, the veins on his hands becoming evident from the grip and the tiny drawings permanently staining his fingers.

You gasp the moment you feel Jeno’s hip begin to move underneath you to the beat of the song. He rolls your hips rhythmically to match his speed. His clothed hard on can be felt through the only barrier you have on --- your panties.

The thin fabric is soon drenched in your juices after the continuous friction up and down his length. You throw your head back to every bump against your clit, the electrifying feeling enact more of your wetness to puddle. 

You can’t believe you were grinding against Jeno in the middle of a full party, as if his friends aren’t a few feet away. It is a good thing that your skirt pools around both of your waists to conceal the dirty deed underneath.

Jeno’s lip escapes under his top row of teeth as he rubs his clothed length against your barely covered pussy. He can feel his jeans dampening from your wetness and his eyes roll to the back of his head from how the feeling of wanting you consumes his body. He really becomes uncontrollable when it comes to you. 

This is the most sexual activity you have had with another person for over a year. Jeno just looks absolutely heavenly intoxicated with lust, and your mouth waters at how big his cock must be. You can feel his length the harder Jeno rolls against you, and it is definitely bigger than your boyfriend’s. 

You are trying so hard to stay quiet and unnoticeable, but the pleasure seeps out every crevice. Jeno is trained on you as your hand reaches up to cover your mouth, the muffled whimpers escaping your lips uncontrollably.

“I’m so close.” You admit, your body jolting every time his jean button grazes against your sensitive bud.

Jeno moves you over his thigh, forgetting his incredibly hard dick straining in his jeans. As long as you are satisfied, he can care less about his own pleasure. A low scream erupts from your throat when he flexes against you. 

His thigh is much more stable, with more control for consistency. You quickly notice the dark, wet spot on his jeans and you blush even harder. Your underwear clings onto you from the excessive moisture, but Jeno continues to help you finish.

The strands of hair cover your face, but Jeno needs to see your fucked out expression. He is taken aback when you start riding his thigh faster, grinding harder without the aid of his hands.

His mouth hangs slightly open in awe at your neediness, he truly did not know the extent of your sexual frustrations. Oh, but how he is incredibly turned on by you getting off on him. 

“I want you to cum for me, you deserve it.” Jeno brings you in for another passionate kiss. The mixture of his tongue sucking harshly on yours, and the friction on your clit are more than enough to reach your climax. 

Your legs clenched tightly around Jeno’s thigh. The small knot in your stomach that built, drops like the beat playing in the background. The feeling of white is familiar, but it is more intense than when you would touch yourself. You are finally receiving the pleasure from someone else’s touch, someone who wants you to unravel for him.

Jeno pulls away from your lips, kissing down your neck and collarbones as your chest heaves for air. His palm soothes your shaking legs as your climax subsides. You fall into his arms, and he laughs. The reality that you two just did that publicly registers in both of your minds.

Digging your shy face further into Jeno’s shoulder, he whispers lovingly, “let me drive you home.” 

“Are you still drunk?” The muffled question tickles Jeno’s neck.

“I think you beautifully cumming on my thigh sobered me up.” He jokes and you quickly cover his mouth. Your heart practically stops and you hope no one else heard him.

It is silly that you are now self conscious, as if the whole room didn’t just watch you and Jeno grind on the couch. But, the feeling of embarrassment and regret lingers in your stomach. You mentally thank the dark room for concealing both of your identities.

“I’m sorry for your jeans.” A pout begs for forgiveness as you stare at Jeno’s beaming smile. He takes your hand off of his mouth, not forgetting to give your fingertips a lingering kiss.

“I’m sorry for your boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Jeno parts your hair from your neck, admiring the marks he left on you. A small sense of pride builds inside of him, accompanied by a tiny bundle of possessiveness.

“Let me say goodbye to the boys and I’ll take you home.” 

Nodding, Jeno carefully lifts you off of him and onto the cushion. He leans over to kiss your cheek. As he gets up, you see the darker shades on his jeans from your doing. However, Jeno is completely unbothered and continues to find his friends.

Now that you are alone, you feel a bit nervous that someone would come up to you and talk about what they saw. Checking your phone, your screen blinds you with absolutely no notifications from your boyfriend. Going on social media is worse, as you scroll to see that your boyfriend posted a photo.

It is a photo of his hot, red polished car. He obnoxiously posed squatting next to the front wheel, his lips puckered up and kissing the rims. With a caption that makes every regret in your body disappear, “with my one and only.” 

The phone is tossed somewhere else, wishing to delete the image from your memory. Your eyes wander around the room, when they spot a suspicious man sneakily dropping a small pill in an unattended drink. He, then, looks up and catches your stare. Caught red handed. 

But the male smugly smirks, “you’re going to pretend you didn’t see that, like how half of this room pretended to not see you grinding on Jeno.” 

“You’re complete scum, I can’t believe you just roofied someone’s drink.” You yell in utter disbelief at the unwavering man. His disgusting smirk changes into a menacing smile.

He approaches you, his height allowing him to tower above. You gulp, scared at how he can easily overpower you at any second.

“And what are you going to do about it? What? Jeno didn’t loosen you up enough?” His revolting hot breath beating down your nose, invading every corner of your personal space. 

Before you can find any insult to speak back, his figure goes flying sideways and out of your face. It’d be a lie to not admit your heart skipping a beat at the sight of Jeno’s clenched fists and locked jaw. His sharp gaze watches as the stranger gets up from the ground, inflammation already growing on his left cheek.

“Dude, what the fuck!” He shouts angrily, holding his cheekbone as he winces at the pain. Immediately, the conversations are replaced with gasps, and small whispers at the sight. People gather around the living room to see the commotion. Even you are unsure how to react to the sudden fight.

The other man lunges at Jeno with full force, but Jeno stops him by grabbing the man’s collar, “this,” Jeno punches his lip, busting it open, “is for dropping a roofie in someone’s drink.”

The stranger groans at the impact, but still gets up with a fist straight for Jeno’s gut. Watching Jeno take a blow is much more difficult than you had been expecting.

He crouches over from the punch, but quickly regains his composure to put the man in a headlock. A few more gasps erupt and wonder if you should stop him before he does something unnecessarily stupid. 

“This,” the man squirms to try to get out of Jeno’s iron grip, “is for disrespecting my babygirl.” And with a shift snap, the male falls limp and unconscious.

A surprised intake of air and Jeno peers up at your scared expression. He calmly walks over to you, ignoring the swarm of people that had gathered around the scene. He can only see one thing — you. Jeno’s wandering eyes try to read your expression, but all he sees is a terrified girl.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, are you okay, (Y/N)?” 

Blinking blankly for a few moments, you are mortified at the laying body, “what did you do to him?” 

Jeno looks back at the stranger casually, “I put him to sleep for a bit. He’ll wake up in about 20 minutes.”

A rush of reassurance washes over you knowing that he is alive and Jeno didn’t just kill someone in front of you. You exhale all the anxiousness and nerves, 

“thank you for stepping in.”

“I don’t fight without a good reason. You are more than a perfect reason to fight for.” He pinches your cheek cutely, and his tough exterior fades away yet again. 

His famous eye smile that warms your insides is back as if the scary, intimidating expression didn’t exist a few seconds ago. Jeno’s good sides only appear with you. Nevertheless, you are happy to know how special you are to see them. 

“Violence is never the answer.” He nods, only taking it for a grain of salt. “Are you okay? It looked like stringbean knocked some wind out of your gut.”

The teddy bear thrusts himself forward into a fit of laughter, his head resting on your lap. His melody lights every dark corner inside of you. “He did get a good punch in there, didn’t he?”

His rumbling laughter stops, and he peers up at you. “I can’t believe you were still worried about a complete asshole.” 

Scoffing, you break the shared gaze. “I’m a compassionate human being.” Jeno stands up, extending his hand for you to take.

“I know, you’re the best kind of person.” He genuinely means it with the way his tone remains quite stern, eye contact unwavering. He is revealing more of his intimate parts, and in return, you wish for him to see your’s. 

Silence drowns out all the commotion between you two. Jeno grows shy at the way the galaxies reflect in your stare. “I--” Never once, did you think you would witness Lee Jeno stammer over his words. “I-I, let’s-- I want to take you for a drive.” 

To Jeno, a drive to him is equivalent to your hand in marriage. Even his own girlfriend has never been on a drive with him. It is a big part of his personality, given that he is a crucial member of the Ridin’ Club. However, out of all of them, he is the last one to flaunt his hobby. It is special, almost sacred to his entire being. 

“Me?” It is the dumbest question to ask, but you really want to clarify his intentions. Before this night, you two were barely considered friends. You two never saw each other outside of the late night parties.

But now, Lee Jeno wants to take you on a drive. It makes you wonder if the desire of companionship is mutual, that he too pines to further your relationship.

“I’m not looking at anyone else,” Jeno still waiting for your hand and holding an intense eye contact. His heart lays exposed for you, just right on his sleeve. An innocence paints his usual intimidating aura, “let me show my special girl, what is special to me.” 

He must possess some magic because he knows every way to make you swoon. And like that, your palm meets his and he locks his fingers between yours. 

The moment you enter Jeno’s striking, eye catching car, you automatically relax into the leather seats. His pristine car matches his personality --- simple, but captivating. Your boyfriend’s car is the exact opposite, which is why you never enjoy sitting in it.

Jeno has pieces of himself that scatter his car, like an adorable small plushie that watches out the back window. A beaded lanyard dangles from his rear view mirror. It even matches his scent of a deep ocean breeze.

Unlike your boyfriend’s obnoxious details, Jeno did not have a light up stereo that flashed annoyingly to every beat drop in a song. Instead, a sweet lilac color illuminates at your feet, along with his. 

“You like what you see?” Jeno catches you astonish at the tiny aspects of the interior. 

“Of course, it’s yours. It’s exactly like how I would imagine it to be.” Jeno is proud, hearing you praise his car. Even he can admit, it is a bit weird to be so connected to an inanimate object.

Nevertheless, his car, racing, driving became a huge part of his life. And unlike his friends, he feels rather shy and slightly embarrassed for being such a geek. 

But hearing you actually appreciating the small details of his car when you probably hate every aspect of racing due to your boyfriend’s doing, it makes him feel very happy.

Maybe happy is an understatement, more like overjoy at how you freely can recognize the things that make him content. You respect him, and are mindful that as mundane as a car is, you know that it is something important to him.

Silence becomes the majority of the ride out of the quiet, suburban neighborhood. While Jeno’s eyes remain focused on the road ahead, you are concentrated on him.

He drives with one hand on the wheel as he rests his elbow on the middle console. His eyebrow creases here and there. It is the most normal, mundane activity anyone can do --- drive. That is all he is doing, yet the effect it suddenly has on you can not go unnoticed. 

Abruptly, with the rev of the engine and a press on the gas, the car practically flies on the empty freeway. It catches you off guard, causing you to hold onto the grab handle. Jeno peeks over at your shocked figure, and smiles to himself.

“Relax, (Y/N).” He calls your name, reaching over to rub your thigh as a way to calm your anxiousness. Automatically, your hand grips onto his for support and the other one drops from the handle. 

Exhaling, your eyes are trained ahead. The car is moving so fast that you can’t even make out anything around you. Everything becomes nothing, but colorful streaks against a dark background. The gravity against your chest feels crushing.

“How-- How fast are you going?” 

Jeno glances at the speedometer and intertwines your fingers into his own. “I don’t think I should tell you that, you might actually have a heart attack.” 

The window rolls down and you are hit with rumbling wind, “I know you’re scared right now, so stick your head out the window and take a deep breath.”

You look at him in pure fear, “what?! I can’t even move, let alone stick my head out the window!”

Jeno shakes his head, “trust me. Please, trust me.” He needs you to experience the same thrill he does. His own adrenaline is through the roof, out the entire atmosphere of the vehicle. The amount of joy he is experiencing became tenfold now that you are sitting beside him. 

You trust him and very meticulously, go against the wind. Your hair crazily dances along with the rush and your eyes water from being dried out. Adjusting to the pressure, you also stick your hand out the window. It whips backward, but you feel the wind slip between your fingers.

The rise in heartbeat and excitement pump through your veins. The beauty in the white streaks that create a runway, it is nothing but you and the open space. There is no other way to explore it, except at a high pace. You understand why Jeno loved it so much. 

Jeno bounces between the road and half of your figure out his window. Your eyes are closed initially, before you barely squint open. Tears fly by with strands of your hair, but you start to move your hand to physically feel the thrill pass between your fingers.

Then he sees it in the side mirror: the sweet curve in your lips he loves the most and the wideness of life in your eyes. It only makes him press the gas harder.

“That was incredible! You should take me riding with you more.” You marvel at him as he starts the route to your place. It is complete playfulness that hints in your tone because you are aware of how sacred these are to him. Nevertheless, a part of you still hopes he agrees to do so.

Jeno nods, “only because I like you,” He pauses, gauging your reaction with his side eye gaze, “a lot.”

Your heart sinks to an unsettling place in your stomach. Jeno could not possibly be serious, however, his tone no longer matches the playfulness of your own. It almost seems like he is telling the truth. But you didn’t want to believe that. 

Your eyes make a full circle before settling at the disappearing sidewalks, “stay in your lane, Jeno.” It is to keep the mood still light, you and Jeno aren’t ones to be serious. 

His hand has been on your thigh for the whole night, whether it be out of habit or comfort. His touch is always welcoming and warm, but suddenly, you feel the small squeeze on your flesh. Turning your attention on his face, you can see how a smirk has grown. 

“But yours seems much more fun.” Immediately, your stomach leaps with somersaults. Your throat gets dry and tight, not anticipating that response. 

“Beside, you can’t act like we both haven’t swerved. It was barely moments ago that you were cum---”

“---No need to further explain.” 

“And I’d proudly do it again.” His voice drops several decibels and his hand slowly snakes it’s way up your thigh. All the while, his eyes still on the road ahead.

You gulp as every heartbeat constricts your throat. Lifting the ends of your skirt higher to expose more, you secretly want Jeno to cause your legs to shake again. “D-Do what again?”

Jeno perks up to the sweetness of curiosity in your tone. He pulls up to a red stoplight, being able to finally look over to your innocent face and needy hands gripping the cute, thin fabric. He stares deeply into your eyes, “make my baby cum.” 

Similarly to the stoplight, you give Jeno the green light to pull your panties to the side. You spread your legs wide as his finger massages your pussy lips. He gets dangerously close to your erect clit, barely skimming over it. 

A needy, yet delicate moan escapes your lips and Jeno’s jaw tightens. He’s more upset that he’s missing the view of your legs spread, open mouth in ecstasy, half lid eyes all in the passenger seat of his car. He hopes for another red light, just so he can peek over at your delicious figure.

“Jeno, please touch me.” Your voice is airy and desperate. He hummed in response, completely withdrawing his hand from your core. However, you catch his wrist and bring it to rest on your inner thigh. “Please.” 

The distinct beg in your tone drives him crazy. As he dips his finger into your sudden wetness, a shiver runs up your spine. Right when he applies minimal pressure on your bundle of nerves, you jolt and close your thighs around his hand.

One touch already feels too good to be true, that finally someone, Lee fucking Jeno, is actually touching your nakedness. Peering down, Jeno’s arm is flexing in between your legs. His veins popping ever so slightly and his tattoos paint his smooth skin. 

“Open your legs, babe.” His low devilish chuckle rumbles in your lower abdomen. “Let me give you the lovin’ you’ve been deprived of.” 

You shudder at his cadence and slowly pry open your legs. Jeno stops at a red light and gets to see your reaction as he rubs you in a fast rhythmic pace. A soft cry yelps from your throat and you have to grip the handle to keep yourself from spazzing out any further. 

Almost like a trance, he doesn’t notice that the light turns green. He’s locked into the sight of your contorting body. Your hips have a mind of its own, yet again, as Jeno feels you rolling deeper into his touch.

“Poor baby, you’re so touch starved that you can’t control yourself.” 

“It feels better when you do it.” You whine, your lip being bruised from your biting. But your eyes notice the green illumination and you blink over at Jeno.

He is practically drooling at the sight of you, his eyes are trained at your needy hips and dripping wet core that soaks his fingers. You stop every urge to steal more kisses from him.

Jeno briefly recovers from the trance and steps on the gas. He takes this opportunity to ease a finger into the core, causing you to exclaim and squeeze around his digit. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.” 

“More, Jeno.” The way his name rolls off of your tongue makes his heart flutter and his dick to raise in his jeans. Without much hesitation, he slowly slips in another finger and you moan at the stretch. Pumping and curling, he ensures that you are enjoying every action.

His fingers curl against your plushy flesh and your legs spread wider for him to go deeper. You’re a moaning mess when he curls up to your sweet spot, rubbing his fingertips quickly. The familiar queasy feeling builds in your lower regions, and Jeno becomes merciless with his fingers.

He guides them in and out of you, feeling your tightness release and invite him back in. The sloppy wet noises fill the car and drown out the engine. Your half lidded eyes bounce at Jeno’s unbothered figure and the entire scene seems absolutely unbelievable to you.

One hand on the wheel. The other knuckles deep in your pussy. Eyes focus on the road ahead. A comfortable man spread. His hair is messy from the long night.

It is all too unbelievable, that Jeno’s already giving you a second climax of the night when you could barely get one in a year before. And he loves touching you as much as he loves driving. 

However, the guilty raises as fast as the ball of tension in your gut. You two pull up in front of your apartment building, while Jeno’s tugging his fingers against your flesh aggressively. In a split second, you hold onto his wrist to stop him. 

He shifts into park when the car settles into a spot and peers over to you. A curious expression daunts onto him, rather concern that he might have been too much. “I’m starting to feel guilty.” 

Jeno nods, and retrieves his fingers out of your dripping core. The feeling of emptiness causes all the built up pressure to dissipate.

“I understand,” he begins, but pauses at the sight of your sticky juices glistening on his fingers. Your eyes widen as he licks them clean, a soft moan escaping from the back of his throat. 

The small action spikes your heart rate and you rub your legs together. With a pop! Jeno hums delightfully, “baby, you taste so good. I’m a little sad I won’t be tasting more, especially directly from the source.” His lustful eyes glance down at your thighs and back to your profile. 

“I’ll walk you up to your apartment.” He says way too casually, unbuckling his seat belt. A mixture of emotions are running through your head. There is guilt, but lust is too powerful to ignore, especially when it’s Lee Jeno. The damage is already done, right? It’s not like it wasn’t moments ago that you humped him in the middle of a party. 

“Wait,” your hands find themselves gripping onto his leather jacket tightly. Jeno gently reaches over to release your strong grip and replaces the leather with his hand. 

“Yes, babygirl?” Jeno’s round, friendly eyes meet yours. The lust clouded darkness is no longer there. His hand feels hot and somewhat rough. 

“I’m going to break up with my boyfriend, so promise me, you’re not going to dip out of my life afterwards… I don’t need you to be anything more than a friend. I just can’t lose you too.”

He turns around in his seat to face you comfortably. “I don’t think you’ve noticed, but I can’t stay away from you, let alone have the ability to leave you.” He reassures you with a soothing and calm tone. His thumb draws circles around your knuckles. “I’m always going to be your friend, whether or not I know how you taste.” 

“Do you still want to try it … you know, from the source?” You shyly ask, an innocence embodying your gaze and voice cadence.

Jeno raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. “I’d love to, only if you let me.” 

Instantly, you shift to get on your lower back. Jeno watches as you excitedly position yourself open for him and actually finds your eagerness quite adorable. Your left leg bends behind the driver’s seat and your right rests on the dashboard. 

He hooks his arms underneath your thighs to pull you forward towards him and your whole body slides against the leather. With a slow lift, your skirt reveals your drenched panties. Rolling them off and tossing them to the back seat, he lays eyes on your still dripping pussy. Jeno takes a second to admire your flower, this being his first time he’s seen such a private part of you.

“You’re beautiful, you know that right?” He chuckles deeply, before his tongue licks a long strip up to your clit. You exclaim out of the tingling pleasure that seized your insides.

He flattens his tongue against your bundle of nerves, flicking and circling. His finger enters your pussy again, curling up to rub at the same pace he is licking. The pure sight of Jeno’s head in between your legs is enough for butterflies to explode. 

His sole motive is to make you feel good. There is nothing else in the world that he wants at this moment beside pleasure to overtake your body. Jeno eats you out like he hasn’t had a meal in months. His mouth wraps around your clit. The mixture of his flicks and sucks cause electric bolts to run down your legs. 

You get more wet as Jeno pumps his finger in and out of your hole. Your juices are practically dripping onto the interior of the car, but Jeno doesn’t care.

He fucking loves it. He loves the taste of you lingering on his tongue. Your breathless moans. Your waterfall dripping on uncontrollably. The view of you unwinding because of him. Nothing can be more perfect. 

Running your hands through his messy locks, you press him closer into you. A devilish smile draws on his face as he flicks his tongue side to side. “Oh, fuck! I’m.. so c--close.” 

Your back arches upward into Jeno’s mouth, feeling his muscle lick harder and faster on your throbbing clit. He adds a second finger, and the simultaneous stimulation practically throws you into another dimension. The pleasure overtakes your entire lower half, your legs trembling from pure ecstasy as you approach your orgasm.

“Don’t stop, I’m going to---” Then, Jeno pulls away and shoves his tongue into your warmth. A gasp hits the air as he also continues to rub circles on your sensitive nerves. His tongue fucked your pussy incredibly skillfully and deliciously. With this switch, your legs violently shake and try clamping together.

However, his strength holds you wide and open for display. A low grunt follows suit as his dark eyes zone in on your contoured facial expressions. Then, the white light blind you once again and the ball of tension unravels itself on Jeno’s tongue. Squirming and screaming, your hips buck forward on their own. 

It is close to being too catastrophic, this being the most intense orgasm you’ve had after a whole year. Nevertheless, the satisfaction is right on the tips of your toes and you greedily indulge in the euphoric moment. Jeno feels your walls squeeze around his muscle as he laps every last bit of you up.

He is absolutely addicted to your juices, making sure he catches every drop. Finally pulling away, he wipes the extra drip on the back of his hand. Jeno blinks at your raising chest and limp legs. Chuckling, his warm hand massages feeling back into your body.

“Do you want me to carry you back up?” His hoarse, raspy voice wakes you from your post orgasm daydream. You flutter your lashes at him fondly and happily nod at his offer. 

Getting out of the car, Jeno walks over to the passenger side and your arms rest nicely around his neck. His palms support your butt, but also smoothing your skirt over to cover your decency. A poke against your outer thigh makes you realize that Jeno is strained against his jeans.

“I can take care of you too.” You pout cutely at Jeno, but he shakes his head.

“It’s not about me tonight. It’s about you.” Leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, his eyes turn into moon crescents from his lovable smile. The kind, friendliness makes an appearance again.

Or so you think! In a sheer second, Jeno’s deep voice rumbles your stomach and his hooded eyes pierce your soul, “next time though, I’m fucking you real good, babe.” 

You hum in response. Saliva collects in your mouth, already looking forward to more of Jeno. But a chilly draft brushes up your exposed area as Jeno carries you up the flight of stairs.

“Wait, Jeno… I don’t have my underwear on.” The ‘Level 3’ sign is in view as Jeno turns to walk. 

He only laughs and shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s better that way anyways.” Without another word, he continues upward to your floor and you playfully punch his solid chest. In all honesty, that’s not going to be the only time you leave behind your panties in his beloved car. 

Your hatred for the notorious Ridin’ Club subside after such a wild night. If anything, you owe it all to your shitty ex-boyfriend for joining such a ridiculous club. Without him and the club’s existence, who knows if Lee Jeno would’ve still swerve into your lane. 

[jekyllnahyena]

now, part number two of me being not knowing when to stop while i actually answer questions and not just ramble on n on :D (this was a lie. lads, did i ramble)

What were they like? A quiet kid that loved their friends a lot combined with the feeling of self loathing. Jackal got a lot more out of their shell than my initial response conveys and they do have great friends, but they really start to flourish under their master while they travel and learn to trust in themselves a lot more (though ngl, i haven’t completely worked out that part because I shove Maul and Jackal together a lot. Though they do have a friendship with Obes, which includes many death threats and an inherent need to yeet him from a balcony. This got a lot stronger after they find their self worth and the ability to trust their own thoughts and intuition. So Jackal loves him. They just want to headbutt him too)

The rambuntious nature is there, but they normally only did it around people they trust, but that changes a lot as they get older. They learn to be more open and self assured, which also has them learn to be angry in their own right, but hear me out there. They have a lot of emotional control and learn how to use that but most of it steems from trauma, so learning to be angry has more to do with respecting yourself and your boundaries than anything else. They are a very happy go lucky person, but when they get angry, ho boy, not fun, because you have to earn that anger. Also, there’s a severe lack of self preservation skill for a long time, which they keep quiet about. They didn’t get all that better per se, but they now tell people when they’re injured. I theorize that they inhereted that from their dad, who in turn also had little to no self preservation skills (which ended badly but whatever)

I initially put Maul in with the jedi because i love 2003 Grievous and having both of them standing against the jedi seem a bit, much. (i love that horror monster cyborg, but he almost killed two council members in his first appearance. Dude got beat by Mace Windu and sorry, but if you need Mace to win, that is a baaaaad sign) 

Maul and Jackal became friends because my big, yellow chomper sees the creche as a sorta comfort place. They spend alot of time there in both worlds because they like the warmth and easiness of kids a lot and are a well known figure. Combined with their affection for Yaddle (who I now most definetively think of as teacher number 1) it’s a place to calm down and relax. Jackal is seemingly very cheery, listens to the kids’ stories and carries them around a lot/takes naps with them. And hey, they aren’t always that great and get overwhelmed or don’t no what to do or say, but the kids are nice and happy when they see them. In the AU, kiddo Maul takes a big liking to Jackal and they’re kinda siblings (Jackal is a good four years older than him) and they come to understand a lot earlier that they aren’t bad and can only hurt and learn to be kinder to themselves with a dramatic and very honest baby Maul present. Something something Maul notices them being a lot more sad than they actually let on and asks them why. Jackal can’t answer him, sits down and notices how bad it is. They end up talking with a few more people (not Maul, cause thats an even smaller kid than they are thank you) and gets the boost and help to do something before ever really breaking. So Maul speeds up the process a lot without ever realising and they tell him when they’re both grown.

Now, clone wars time. Jackal normally spends a lot of time in the outer rim and their biggest strenght is their sensitivity aka I can map out a lot of space with the force and convey things with my mind. So they’re very good at finding things, exploring stuff and surviving strange situations. Jackal was force only knows where when they finally got the message of, ‘pls come back, stuff is going on.’ Then said stuff happens to be a slave army and a pan galactic war. Obes is the one to meet up with them after Geonosis and explains what happened and Jackal just kinda stands there, wondering how the fuck everything could get so bad. They make it very clear they are a space-wizard-pacifist-monk, why the hell would you make me a general, but accepts their troops with the thought that they can probably do more good than harm. They tell their commander that no, you are very much in charge because I may have taken a padawan or two, but this is completely beyond my capabilities. You learned actualy military strategy, I learned how to explore planets and use the force to find things. Lemme be your 2,7 m fright train that can lift things with their mind, curses a lot and knows how to reflect lasers to protect you guys. This also very early on establishes their relationship with the troopers. Jackal knows their boundaries and capabilities and won’t pretend otherwise, thus telling the troopers that yes, I’m a jedi, no, i’m not whatever the hell you learned on Kamino, I am very much a mortal being thanks, yes, I’ll do whatever I can. Of course, this doesn’t just mean they’re accepted but they built trust there over time. It helps that they can be a giant idiot who falls asleep everywhere, so a lot of the mystique gets lost early on. Personally, the war destroys a lot of their hope in sentiency and Jackal gets more n more exhausted by the day, but they know it’s not about them and try everything they can to make it better. 

Padawans!! Jackal took one as soon as they could. Which was a lot and involved growing pains on both sides, but Jackal lives with their masters mantra of “if something isn’t working, you talk about it because communication is key, kiddo”, so they are on very good terms. I still play around with the idea that they lost one to Grievous, but I’m not sure about the timeline there. As they’re well known in the creche and often play with the kids, their choosing process relies more on who’d need it most/who hasn’t been chosen yet. Jackal knows that a lot of their current happiness comes from their master and their friends and the work they put in it all, so they want to give others to have that chance too. They are a lot healthier at that point and aware of the responsibilities so they don’t chance another breakdown themselves. Padawan doesn’t deserve that and neither does Jackal. (though i love the idea of having Anndra as a padawan. They most definetly try to help him heal and rejoin his family and culture. poor boy deserves a lot of peace and gentleness after what he went through. ok, look, i just wanna hug him)

How they bite it. Hmmmmm still playing around with possible after the war things. They end up being very close to Anakin because of their friendship with Obes and spend a lot of time with him when they see each other, but with most of their missions being outer rim stuff, they don’t get th chance as much in the war. In the Maul AU they are a sorta surrogate family to Anakin and while Obes and Maul are more in line with being brothers, Jackal is as old as their parents were when they had them. So they do play the part of a parent alot more than Obes ever could, but all that isn’t worked out. 

In a world without Maul? I do enjoy the idea of Vader and Jackal fighting, partly because they Do dwarf him, partly because Anakin kills some sort of surrgoate family and one of his last ties while Jackal bleeds and snarls and feels guilty for not doing enough and it’s all very bad. Regarding the dwarfing thing, Jackal knows how big they are and uses it when they want to. Plus their eyes can be very unsettling when they just stare at you. But Vader/Anakin killing Jackal might feel poetic if maybe even more self-indulgent than the rest. So not sure about that. Otherwise, probably after a fight, shot by their troops. They sit down in the mud to hold some poor kids hand as the medic sets a bone, feeling their tiredness bleed into their beverything while they try to smile and assure the trooper that they’re here, hold my hand. You can rebraid my hair later if you want, you’re being very strong while their troops listen to the order and suddenly their medic is very quiet and Jackal turns around and sees the muzzle. Yeah, not sure yet, but something like that.

Feelings on culture and biology. I explained a bit about culture and the disconnect Jackal feels from either species in the other post, especially with their missing attributes. Their dad started putting their hair back to emulate a nautolans tendrils and they keep the style for all of their life, both as a comfort and remeberance. They do have the very lucky part of both the zabraks and nautolans adaptability, eyes and are very, very though. Which doesn’t help with their incredibly bad self preservation but it turns out fine. But fro them a big part is the lack of both tendrils and horns. Their birth was already very weird and complicated and their dad spend quite some time on their mums planet to help them grow, because they weren’t yet strong enough to live outside of water, but couldn’t stay under it. Their mum loved them on some part, but a sorta resentment did develop on her part because Jackal felt like a rushed decision looking and she was happy for the dad taking the lil chomper. When the message came through of the dad dying and Jackal being left somewhere, there was a very ugly moment of relief. It does have Jackal feel a lot more comfortable with zabrak traditions and culture, but with them being raised in the temple and having practically nothing left from before, they feel more like an outsider looking in. Which is also a reason why they never thought  about getting tattoos. Jackal just isn’t a part of it. It hurts for a long time to sit there with having neither while the order has rules that can be very uncomfortable to relate to. (yes, I’m talking about attachment but telling the kid with their dads blood on their hands that your love for him is bad won’t work out. anyway) They mostly tell themselves that they’re ok and it becomes more of a, I am me and I have things I love and cherish kinda thing and enjoys learning and having others tell them about their culture. Does it still hurt? Yeah, but they manage.

hoooooooooooooo lads, sorry this is so incredibly long but believe it or not, this is still a lot shorter than it could’ve been. ayayayayay. @iamagoddamnrailgun​ enojy reading this monstrosity of everthing that my brain has created. hope you have fun <3

[jinkicake]

Paint For Me

Nishinoya, Tendou, Ushijima with a s/o who is an artist.

Nishinoya Yuu x Reader

Tendou Satori x Reader

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader

For Anon who requested this~ I kinda went a little A LOTTA soft on Ushijima’s but.... can you blame me.... Also, I’ve been reading Haikyuu-bu and Tendou’s little manga chapter was sooo cute I had to take inspo from it!!! Anyway, I’m going to try the minecraft hardcore 100 days challenge again and if I die,,, I will pass away on the spot so if I go silent it is minecraft’s fault. 

WC- 1,687

~~~

Nishinoya Yuu

Nishinoya would think your artwork is the coolest thing he has ever seen,,,,

He will beg you to draw on his bags or notebooks, he wants you to customize all his stuff because he wants to show you off

Nishinoya would watch you whenever you’re working on something, but then get bored after like five minutes and start going through his phone

He likes being in your presence so even if you work on something for hours, he will lay right beside you with his head in your lap while he naps or plays games 

Nishinoya would probably ask you to teach him how to draw stuff like a lion or something,,, you would have art lessons with him. His art is a work in progress...

Please, he is such a big show-off that if you give him something he will proudly go around presenting it to everyone…. Tsukishima is usually the person he always brags to 

‘Did (Y/N) make that for you senpai’ ‘They did! How did you know?!’ ‘Well, I know you certainly can’t draw that good’

Cue Nishinoya tackling his favorite first-year and trying to steal his glasses. Yes, Tsukki is his fave first-year 

If you ever want to go out to the park or the mountains or the beach to take pictures for inspiration or even do something cute like drawing the sunset, Nishinoya would tag along. Please, he would make it his own little adventure

Nishinoya has his own love for volleyball so he can really appreciate the love you have for art, he finds it super intriguing and it makes him fall in love with you even more~ 

“Right here!” Nishinoya points to the handle of his bag and you stare confusedly at him.

“You want me to paint on the strap?” You ask and Nishinoya eagerly nods, you squint at it while thumbing the fabric. “I’m not sure if it will work on this material.”

Nishinoya sighs dramatically and you flick his forehead.

“I can draw you something else though, here,” You lean up and kiss the area you had previously hit before digging right into your sketchbook. Your pencil flies across the paper and Nishinoya watches with interested eyes.

That lasts for about thirty seconds.

“Is it done yet?” You glance over your shoulder to see Nishinoya hanging off your bed, a bored expression on his face.

“Yuu, it’s been like two minutes.” You laugh and go back to the sketch you’re working on.

“Is that a yes?” He asks hopefully.

“Mmm, it’s a no.” Nishinoya sighs at your words, he drags himself off the bed and brings the blanket with him. You jolt slightly when you feel his body press up against yours and you glance behind you to see him curled up against you. 

The sun continues to fall from the sky and you diligently work on the paper in front of you. Nishinoya wakes up from his nap with a quiet yawn, the sleepiness still inside of his body. His arms wrap around your waist and he rests his head on your shoulder.

“Are you done yet?” You answer his question with a brief head shake. “Let’s go to sleep do it later,” He moans and you can already feel him falling asleep against you once again. “I want cuddles.”

Tendou Satori

Tendou is that kid in school who always begged you to draw him when he found out you could draw 

LOL like this mf will get on his knees ‘pls draw me’ and when you finally ask him what you want to draw he’d be like ‘me fighting a dragon’

Tendou would be very supportive of your art, he would love to sit there and just watch you paint or draw or make sculptures, whatever you do he loves to watch 

He will sit there in your room and lay on your floor and just stare, watch every brushstroke you make, you’ll have to physically push him away for space

I feel like when he sees you draw he, himself, will want to draw something as well 

Tendou will practice making little stick figures or draw portraits of you 

You have to hype him up and put it in your phone case or hang it on your wall because it is too cute

Tendou will make you work with Ushijima to create his manga, he will have the two of you draw the entire thing

He’d love everything you create and will always cherish it like he will definitely have a little place just for all of your artwork

Tendou loves encouraging you in everything that you do,,, your hobbies will somehow also become his 

“And then when it gets recognized we will become super famous!” Tendou tells you with excited eyes, his hands tightly gripping your shoulders. “We will get to work together in the future, angel! I get to spend even more time with you!” You laugh softly at his eagerness for the future as you continue to sketch in the tiny boxes.

“That’s the plan, huh?” You ask and Tendou nods, he swings one of his long legs to sit on the bench beside you, moving to practically sit on top of you.

“This is going to get sued for copyright.” Shirabu comments, his eyes narrow towards Tendou, as he reads through the manga ideas that Tendou created.

“I simply took inspiration from other shows, Naruto did it with Hunter Hunter!” Your boyfriend defends and Shirabu simply shakes his head, continuing to thumb through the papers.

“(L/N), I will take the next page,” Ushijima tells you, already reaching for another piece of paper to draw on.

“Woah, you’ve finished already Ushijima? Can I see it?” Ushijima nods and shows you his paper, your eyes widen when you look at his drawings. “This is really good, Ushijima! You’re good at everything!” You compliment and Tendou pouts when he notices your attention is no longer on him. 

“I, too, am good at everything.” Your boyfriend tells you, moving his arm around your shoulders to bring you closer to him. 

“If you’re so good then why didn’t you draw it yourself?” Shirabu asks, his eyebrows raised behind his bangs. 

“I can’t be the writer and illustrator, Kenjirou!” Tendou defends and you put your hand over his own. 

“We believe you Tendou, you’re the most amazing person ever!” Tendou practically melts at your compliment and hides his face in your shoulder.

Ushijima glances up at you, nods his head, then goes back to work.

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

Let me first say. Ushijima is also kinda artsy,,,, he is the perfect man,,,, we all saw how he drew for Tendou’s manga! It brought Goshiki to tears!!! 

He can appreciate all the works that you create because he knows how much effort is put into each piece 

Ushijima used to draw a lot when he was a kid and was really interested in it so seeing you do your thing will probably pique his interest again

He might start drawing again, aimlessly, whenever he is bored and it’s all for you~

Ushijima loves when you show him whatever you create, even if you think it is bad, he will always find the beauty in it

He’d probably sit there while you describe what you drew and why, how you did it, stuff like that because he loves to hear you talk 

Whenever you two hang out in your respective dorms, Ushijima probably reads magazines while you work on your latest project

He’d probably try to sneak peeks at what you are creating just because he is curious but he doesn’t want to disturb you when you’re in the zone 

If you ever draw something for him, Ushijima’s heart would bust the fattest nut, he would be so happy. He would praise you for like ten minutes and then hang it up in his room

Ushijima loves how passionate you are about something that you like and in turn, he wants to support you with it!!! He’d probably buy you supplies as little gifts, even when you don’t ask for it

“Let’s paint the sunset!” You beg Ushijima, your hands cupping his own as you pout up at him. “Please, it’ll be so much fun!” 

Ushijima glances down at you and then to the art supplies collected in his room from your daily visits, he really can’t say no, can he?

“Okay.” He responds and you squeal happily before placing a kiss on his cheek and grabbing all the things that you’ll need. 

“Here, hold this.” You thrust your bag of supplies into his arms before grabbing a blanket. “Let’s go up to the roof.”

Ushijima follows you quietly, listening to you as you ramble about how excited you are. His heart soars at the happiness you emit at this moment. 

“Wow.” Ushijima comments when you open the door, he knew sunsets were pretty but damn, this is something else. 

“This is going to be so much fun!” You grab his hand and drag him to the center, placing the blanket down before hopping on it. Already you’re grabbing for the orange and yellow paints. “Don’t you think?” 

Ushijima nods and sits down beside you, unconsciously making it a point to rest your legs in his lap, he always has to be touching you.

The sun continues to change colors and you keep up with it to the best of your ability, your canvas no longer the original color. Ushijima’s, however, is still blank. He’s been unable to take his eyes off of you the entire time. Instead of painting the sunset, he finds something better to paint. 

When the sun eventually goes down and the two of you are now under the moon, you hide your canvas away from him.  

“Let me see yours first before I show you mine!” You bargain and sit up, looking over his shoulder at what he painted. “That’s not the sunset.” Your lips part when you notice what he painted was you. Ushijima glances at you while trying to calm his racing heart.

“I know, I decided to paint something even prettier.” 

~ Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @littleshopoflove @osamuonigiri @pearzuko @darksxder @macaronnv @nerdygremlin @buzzybeebee​

[starlocked01]

Do You Love the Color of the Sky

(pls don’t scroll it’s not that post)

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Not being able to see green must suck, but Patton pitied his soulmate more for being stuck with him.

Content Warning: Swearing, Food

Day 26 Queerplatonic Intruality, background Logince-  You can't see shades of your soulmate's eye color until you meet and look into each other's eyes for the first time.

Do you love the color of the sky?

Patton scrolled through the ridiculously long post and sighed. He liked most of them but the shades of blue always looked so dull. A lot of people reposted this particular picture set because it was the easiest way to tell what color eyes your soulmate has. Which led to a lot of bored scrolling.

If not for the lack of blue in his life, Patton would have assumed he didn't have a soulmate. It just didn't make sense to him as a concept. He loved all his friends and cared about the people he met in his day to day life, he didn’t feel like anything was particularly missing.

Other than the color blue, that is. He stared at his own green eyes and chuckled sadly. His poor soulmate had never seen summer leaves or blades of grass, probably never liked Luigi as a character, hated driving, and wouldn't recognize Patton's pride flags. Patton had learned about the aromantic spectrum and a lot of his feelings had clicked into place. Romance just wasn't his thing and he was happy. He did worry about disappointing his blue-eyed soulmate. How awful to be tied with someone who won't love you romantically.

Patton's best friend since middle school had managed to find his brown-eyed soulmate at a local cafe. Logan didn't say much but Patton could tell he was ecstatic under the calm exterior. And from the sound of it, Roman was quite the romantic which flustered Logan. Patton was happy for them, really.

"You know, Pat, I could try to set you up on a blind date," Patton looked up at Roman with confusion.

"Oh no, they're blind?" Patton couldn't imagine not being able to see at all.

"Why would you suggest that, Roman. His eyes are only green," Logan interjected from the kitchen where he was preparing dinner for his soulmate and friend. Roman had been the one who insisted on inviting Patton and this idea was probably the reason why.

"No, they aren't blind. A blind date is when you go on a date with someone you haven't met before. I could set everything up! I've got the perfect man in mind-" Roman started rambling excitedly.

"Don't tell me it's your brother," Logan scolded.

"It's my brother, but that's not the point!"

"Don't you think you've put Remus through enough humiliation?" Logan turned, shaking a wooden spoon at Roman menacingly.

"I mean, I doubt he's my soulmate and I'll probably disappoint him, but I'll meet your brother if he's okay with it," Patton fiddled with the napkin holder, trying to diffuse the argument by agreeing. What did he have to lose?

"Fantastic! I'll call him right now!" Roman jumped up from the table, phone in hand.

"Roman! Dinner's almost done, just leave it alone!" Logan called with an exasperated sigh, "sorry, Patton. He does this to everyone."

"It's fine, Lo. A low-pressure date might be nice?" Patton shrugged.

Roman had the whole date set up before dinner was even done. He decided the two would meet for a picnic at the local park that weekend. Patton didn’t even have to say a word and it was all planned out. Logan shook his head but gave his soulmate a small smile.

The day of the picnic arrived. Roman had done everything to get this set up for the two, excited at the possible connection for his brother and new friend. Patton just rolled with it, bringing a small cake he'd made to share.

He found the picnic and spotted Roman talking with a man who looked oddly similar and dissimilar to him at the same time. Patton figured they must be brothers and hesitated several yards away.

The man couldn't look any more different from Patton if he tried. His hair was dyed and Patton thought he spotted the glint of a piercing on his lip just under a trim mustache.  For some reason, he'd decided on a black and green mini skirt and fishnet stockings with a ripped My Chemical Romance shirt. It certainly contrasted with Patton's sky grey polo, grey cardigan, and khaki slacks.

Patton took a few deep breaths to try and remember that this wasn't likely to work and was mostly to humor Roman. He'd be nice to Remus. Maybe meet him again at a Christmas party where they both laugh at Roman's poor matchmaking. End of story.

Roman spotted him and waved Patton over, more excited than a puppy brought home from a shelter.

"Patton! Let me introduce you to Remus," Roman grabbed his wrist to yank him the rest of the way over, "I think you guys are really going to hit it off!"

Remus stared at the ground, looking embarrassed. Patton felt really bad as Roman must put him through this all the time. He offered a hand and a warm smile which he took but Remus wouldn't meet his eyes. He was fine with that.

"Alright, I'll leave you two alone to start building chemistry. Good luck!" with that Roman turned and left and Remus let out an exasperated sigh before sitting down on the blanket.

"You don't have to stay. I know he probably paid you or something," Remus muttered at Patton.

"No, I agreed to try, no bribes. I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you," Patton smiled sadly, kneeling down on the other side of the blanket.

"It's not you, Patton. It's him. He's obsessed with finding my soulmate ever since I told him…" Remus got very quiet, picking at one of the threads of his sock.

Patton urged him to continue, "you told him what?"

"That I'm ace. No one is ever gonna be happy with me so why try?" Remus picked up a rock and threw it hard, "he doesn't believe me and thinks I'm just giving up. I wish he'd just fucking listen to me!"

"Oh, is that all? Gosh, I'm sorry, Remus. I totally get it though! Have you asked him to stop putting you in uncomfortable situations?" Patton was so relieved he forgot that Remus wouldn't know why.

"Don't you think I've tried?? And yet here you are, probably telling yourself you can change me because all anyone would need to do is get in my pants- skirt- whatever and I'll change my tune! Right?" Remus glared at Patton who looked away quickly.

"N-no… I mean I actually get it. I'm aro and I hear a lot of similar stuff from people who don't get it," Patton explained himself softly.

Remus hit his forehead and flopped down onto his back, staring up at the sky, "oh! Oh, of course... I'm sorry for assuming, Patton."

"It's okay. Let's just enjoy this lunch and what I assume is a beautiful day," Patton laid down and stared at the sky, "is it cloudy today or is the sky actually blue?"

"Oh, it's a brilliant blue today, Pattycake. Have you never seen the blue sky?" Remus asked in amazement.

Patton chuckled, "nope, never seen it. My 'soulmate'-" he used finger quotes "-has blue eyes."

"Oh, well it's about the color of your shirt today," Remus grinned, "so I guess you know the difference between leaves and clouds, huh?"

"Green is a beautiful color," Patton smiled, "I hope someday you get to see it with someone who appreciates you for who you are, Remus."

"Thanks, Patton."

They both laid there in silence for a few minutes before Remus broke it, "so what do you think of horror movies?"

"Too scary to watch alone, but I'll watch with a friend," Patton smiled, "opinion on Bob Ross?"

"A treasure, but I wish he drew fewer happy trees and more sad ones," Remus grinned. They continued bouncing questions off of each other, a few starting heated debates as they ate the picnic and just talked.

It was wonderfully non-romantic. Patton felt understood for the first time in a long while.

Remus became more and more animated as their conversation drifted from movies and games to tattoos (Patton showed him a Spongebob tattoo on his ankle much to Remus' surprise) and careers. Patton was shocked to discover that Remus worked in daycare most days, something he would have never guessed from his attire.

"You like working with kids?" Patton asked cheerfully.

"I get to give them back to their parents at the end of the day and sleep like a rock," Remus laughed and took a bite of cake, "let me guess, you're a baker?"

"Not quite, I help run my parents' Mom and Pop diner and they stick me on dessert duty way too often," Patton happily patted his stomach, "I bet chasing all those kids burns about as many calories as I can bake in a day."

Remus snorted, "maybe I should stop by and find out some time."

"Yeah! I make the best cheesecake- if I'm being humble," Patton laughed.

"I love cheesecake! Can we go now?" Remus sat bolt upright with a large grin on his face.

"Don't we have to clean all this up or wait for Roman?" Patton asked, happy but a little nervous to make Logan’s soulmate upset with him.

"Oh come on!"

"I can always just make you one," Patton replied carefully.

"That would imply seeing you again," Remus smirked at him.

"You seemed to like the idea," Patton smiled hopefully, picking at the grass.

"I love that idea. You're so easy to hang out with, Pat. You really do get it, and I'm sure we could have lots of fun together," Patton looked up, tears in his eyes. He took off his glasses and wiped them with the sleeve of his cardigan before meeting Remus' gaze with a smile.

Something in the back of his head clicked. He watched as Remus blinked in confusion and started looking around wildly. Patton felt just as confused until he noticed the sky.

He fell back down on the blanket and stared up at the brilliant depths of blue in the cloudless sky. He could almost feel how far it stretched into the void of space and was utterly in awe, tears streaming down from the corners of his eyes and down his ears. It was magnificent.

Patton lay there crying until his view was blocked by two navy blue eyes, sparkling with joy and streaming tears as well. Patton smiled and opened his arms for a hug which Remus gladly fell into.

Roman came back and found them in each other’s arms, laying on the blanket and talking about everything they couldn't tell anyone else before. Patton made sure later to tell him off for how he'd treated Remus but also thanked him for setting up the date.

They weren't dating. It was something different, but they were happy. And Patton really did love the color of the sky.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

[februaryberries]

Study (?) tips that you don’t see on every study post

Hi gamers, I just finished my first year at college/university!!

This year was really a struggle for me because I was trying to get the help I needed for my mental health, and I did not succeed until literally the week before finals spring term. I just got diagnosed w ADHD and put on meds (thank god) and I’m excited for the next year to come.

Though this year was absolutely grueling I did discover some little tips that can really help ! This is coming from my experience w ADHD but it could relate to other neurodiverse learners as well ! Even if you are neurotypical some of these might help !! 

This post got really long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but, main Idea is bolded w a more in depth explanation underneath ( for those like me who see a block of text and go running)

In no particular order:

If you can/are up for it take a class before noon even if you are not a morning person. I am NOT saying take an 8am when u regularly go to bed at 4am! Bc that is dumb bb pls get some sleep. In my experience once I go to class my brain is like “oh things are happening now, it is actually a day and not just existing in a timeless hellscape.”

Once I am out of bed/out of my room I am at least mildly more productive for the rest of the day. Going to a class before noon means you are up and doing things for the day and early enough that you still have light. This ties into the next one

Start while it’s still light out!! At least for me I gain so much happiness from natural light/sunlight, and it is very hard for me to do things let alone START things once it’s dark out because my brain is like nope the day is over now. Plus in the fall/winter days days are getting shorter and shorter so it’s important to make use of as much daylight as you can. I feel like a plant w how much I rely on light to survive but it really does help! 

Put on ‘Real People’ clothes. This is something that really helps me, even if it’s just like, jeans and a turtleneck, maybe tucked in w a belt. I’ve found that when I put on academic-y clothes or like Adult clothes it helps me switch my brain into school mode. It’s kinda like putting on a uniform for work? If I’m in too loose of clothes or like pyjamas for example, I’m much less likely to be able to switch my brain into productive mode. For me especially its when i’m wearing tighter clothing rather than baggy ones? Like i said a turtleneck which like the sleeves are fitted to my arms, and jeans or pants that are fitted to my legs. I think it helps because it makes me more aware of my body in the space? Idk.  figure out what real people clothes feel like to you, and then have a couple of go to outfits you can slip on when you’ve been in a hoodie and sweatpants all day and really need to get some work done. 

On that note, put on shoes. For me along w the tight clothing, I do better in shoes, specifically ones that lace up and can be tight. Like hightop converse, or boots, or even dress shoes w laces. I think in a way my body needs to be contained so I can focus on something? I’m not sure why I feel like that but i’ve learned to work w it. Putting on shoes for me helps because

1. I’m not distracted by what I’m putting my bare feet on (i cannot stand wearing socks unless im wearing shoes so yes bare feet)

2. I’m not getting distracted by my floor n the fact that hey maybe i should sweep bc there are some crumbs sticking to my feet now.

And 3. You put on shoes when you are going to go outside and go somewhere. It’s like putting pyjamas on to go to bed, you’re brain associates those items with doing something, so putting on shoes can signal to your brain hey we are doing something now, and that something is work.

Talk to your teachers !! I understand sometimes you have a teacher from hell and honestly idk what to tell you at that point but in  a lot of cases teachers can be very understanding !! The amount of support I’ve gotten from my teachers this year is absolutely insane and 100% the only thing that made it so I didn’t get kicked out of college. Like reaching out to your teachers shows that you care! if you have to take a mental health day sometimes let them know !! i would always let my teacher know that I really wanted to be in class but I just couldn’t handle it that day. They also can help connect you to resources you didn’t know about ! 

Look into what resources your school has !! I was talking about how next year is gonna go now that I’ve been diagnosed and such with my friend, and how I was gonna contact the DRC (disability resource center) and she didn’t know you could get support for having ADHD!! Like I know you can get extensions on due dates, attendance forgiveness, and even potentially note taking assistance when you have ADHD and talk to them. even if you are medicated it doesn’t 100% solve everything and there are still ways to get support! Whether its study groups, writing centers/support, tutoring, or even contacting your drc or whatever your school has, it can really help!! I’m definitely going to take advantage of these resources if I can next year ! 

Find a place outside you can go to clear your head (or have a mental breakdown) 

I can’t even begin to count the amount of times i’ve been freaking out over something or stressed out of my mind and my room started to feel to stuffy and claustrophobic and i just needed to get OUT. try to make sure it’s somewhere safe and close that you can go to even at night. (maybe try to shoot a text to your best friend that you’re out and if you don’t let them know you’re home by a certain time to start raising alarm, your safety is the most important) I tend to like to be up high because i’m further away from people, and the streets and I’m closer to the sky.

My go to thinking/breakdown spot is the roof of the parking garage a block away. It has stairs that are easy access and the top levels are usually empty even during the day. It really helps me to just go out and listen to music and collect my thoughts sometimes. My head can start going a million directions at lightspeed and I need to stop and be present, and being outside helps. It’s a good way to regroup.

Spend 10 minutes picking up your desk/work space. I tend to let my room get cluttered and messy and out of control a lot, to the point where I know it’s going to take at least a couple hours to get it clean again. It is also hard to focus when you’re in a messy environment. I would stress myself out and be like “well i HAVE to clean my whole room because I can’t focus if my space isnt clean I cant start until I clean” and then I would put all of my productive energy into cleaning, and get maybe halfway done before burning out and going to bed.

You’re never going to get any work done if you keep in this mindset. So instead just spend 10 minutes picking up the garbage off your desk, put the dishes in the kitchen, and put things back in their place. Then you will have enough space to work on your assignment and that space will be free of clutter so it won’t be as stressful. 

DRINK WATER DRINK WATER DRINK WATER

Have a water bottle in front of you when you’re studying/in class. I get fidgety a lot when i’m in class/studying (thank u adhd) and so having a water bottle is a way for me to fidget I guess? Depending on the water bottle, you have little steps you have to do to drink that help u fidget,

for example: pick it up, take off the lid, drink, put the lid back on, set it down.

Or pick up, push button that opens drink hole (?), set back down.

When I have a water bottle on my desk it satisfies my need to do something with my body and comes with the bonus of staying hydrated, without me having to lose focus doing something else. Also you won’t get distracted by a sore throat or the realization that you are really thirsty.

Pay attention to why you’re not paying attention. Not everything that works for me is going to work for you, so you have to figure out what works for you. I started to notice that I would be uncomfortable or feel funny working when I was in baggy clothes and that helped me figure out I needed to wear real people clothes. If you find yourself getting distracted, take note of what is distracting you. maybe try literally making a list of things that distract you, so then you can identify patterns and how to combat them !

That’s all I have for now, I hope some of these could maybe help? All of these have helped me actually complete an assignment occasionally, and somehow keep my ass in college. I just want to say that my experience is my own and things that work for me aren’t going to work on every one. college can be really tough, especially your first year when you’re trying to figure everything out. I may not have all the answers but feel free to shoot me a message!! i’m here for you if you want to ramble about an assignment you’re fed up with or a teacher you hate or anything thats bothering you !! Everyone’s college (and life) experience is different so don’t feel bad if yours doesn’t look the same as the people around you ! Remember to take care of yourselves !!!

Have a good day :)

[inkykeiji]

Hiya Clari 💖

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve checked in and this is another ask that you don’t have to reply to at all I just wanted to let you know that I’m still thinking of you and hoping that you are getting rest and taking care of yourself <3

Take as much time as you need to heal, I’m not going anywhere so bitch (respectfully) you’re stuck with me as an anon for what looks to be quite a while

I’ll give you a lil life update since I have missed talking to you but I 100000% understand why you have done a hiatus because your well being comes before anything else <3 I got my tattoo so very exciting times and uni terms start back in a few weeks so another exciting year for me

Also like I said this is just a lil message for you just so you know I’m still thinking about you and sending my love, you don’t have to reply at all or if you decide you want to take as long as you want/need so as always sending you all the love and hugs in the world <333-🍯

HI MY SWEET HONEYBUN <333

oh you are so lovely, thank you so much for your well wishes and for checking in!!! i appreciate it a lot <33 i am trying my best to rest and take care of myself!!! yesterday was filled with a lot of needless anxiety, so hopefully today is a little better <33

I’M GLAD YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, BECAUSE I NEVER EVER WANT YOU TO LEAVE!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!! <33333333333

i’ve missed talking to you, too!!! sorry it’s taken me forever and a day to get to your message below waaaaah :(((( i feel really bad about that :/

OOOH U GOT UR TATTOO!? DID IT HURT??? WHAT WAS THE EXPERIENCE LIKE OMG!!!! that is super super exciting honey aaaah!!! yaaay uni!!! be safe and be kind to yourself during the school year, please!! remember that grades never equal your worth as a person!! <33

my gosh you genuinely are so incredibly sweet to me, and so understanding, and i just can’t express my gratitude enough; i literally cannot put into words how happy i am to have you in my life, my precious honey, my sweet virtual penpal <33

i hope u don’t mind me answering this here as well!! <33

BLAH it’s super hot here right now, too!! and extremely humid because it keeps raining, it’s so ._. icky. i went to the zoo with my boyfriend not too long ago and my shoulders + face got totally fried by the sun, it was awful :( fall and winter are my favourite seasons!! tho i do really love denim shorts, so i enjoy summer in that respect hehehe <3

OOOOH YES DID YOU??? I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH!!!! get out totally blew me away, literally everything about that film is immaculate, from its writing to its acting to its cinematography to its sound and music, it’s an absolute masterpiece!! i wrote an essay on get out during uni and it’s still one of my favourite academic papers i’ve ever written hehe <3 BUT YES I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU, get out expertly builds this extremely unsettling tension in its viewers ugh it’s so so so goooooooooooood

kiki’s delivery service is my favourite ghibli film!!!!!! oh my gosh!! i just think it’s so so so sweet, i love magic and cats and cute little homey spaces like that, and i love the european inspired seaside town, that whole film is just SUCH a comfort movie and a feel good movie for me <3

HAHAHAHA WELL, IF U DID REREAD THEM i hope you enjoyed <3 i recently reread my 1950s dabi fic, because i love it so much??? and i’ve been listening to a lot of like, lana del rey and elvis lately so it got me in the mood hahahaha <3 hopefully one day i can do more with that universe, i wrote a whole backstory for 1950s dabi but i couldn’t find a good place in the fic to put it so it now sits abandoned in my notebook </3 ANDDDDDD if you haven’t yet, pls go vote on my poll for what you’d like to see posted next!!

i love your rambling, stop this nonsense 🥺 i sincerely love your little letters and i promise you i always look forward to reading them and replying to them, even if it takes me a little time to get there. they always put such a smile on my face and i am so grateful!!!

in terms of plans, tiff (toronto international film festival) is happening super super soon so i’m wickedly excited for that!!! my boyfriend and i always go and make a whole week out of the whole festival and it’s just lovely, we have so much fun!! they just released the schedule for the films yesterday and i am BUZZING eeeee!!! now that i’ve graduated uni i don’t get the film student discounts anymore which kinda sucks LMAO but!!! it’s okay!! i love supporting film and i especially love supporting film in my home city!!! <333

oh honeybee i love you so so so very much, please never forget it <33

[spxllcxstxr]

🚢 — hi love, i was wondering if i could get ship for hp in the marauders era? i’m terribly sorry if these are closed, feel free to ignore this!!

———

my pronouns are she/her or she/they... i’m still debating which set i like better haha and i would like a male ship pretty please <3

i am a ravenclaw, with some slytherin & hufflepuff traits here and there :) and i am an ambivert!

i am, much to my dismay, only 5’ 1.5” (to all my tall peeps out there... saying that i’m jealous of you would be an understatement.) i am quite curvy (and omg kinda insecure abt that ✌️) i have long, silky, and straight black hair that reaches the base of my back, and i love eyeliner so so much like i’m not even joking (on good days at least)

people often tell me that at first glance i seem bubbly, happy, and kinda quiet or shy hehe, and my friends have said that once you get to know me i am genuine, creative, funny, empathetic, a good listener, charming, painfully stubborn, righteous, and little loud, and very very dramatic jhjfk

i am pretty shy in new environments but with my friends i am loud asf, like seriously i need to shut up 😐 i am very very loyal and i value any bit of trust someone has in me.

my love language is definitely physical touch. i am one of those affectionate yet somehow touch-starved people haha! i find that sometimes words (or saying them atleast) can be a little bit hard and awkward for me, so i like to project my feelings and love for people through physical contact and all the affection they could ever dream of <3 and omg that thing where someone leans into your touch? marvelous. absolutley marvelous.

i like it when people play with my hair or touch me in some way, although if they’re a stranger then i will pull out my ninja moves and roundhouse kick them if they touch me 🤺 i also really like to play with other peoples hair!! (my love for long-ish hair is showing hnng-)

i could ramble about the sky, the stars, and just astronomy in general for days and never get tired of it, bc wow have you ever seen the night sky? i get so excited when i recognize a star or a constellation or a planet and agh i just love astronomy!! star gazing is one of my most favorite things to do <3 (and i have a these necklaces that i love so so much okay, one has the constellation of my zodiac, and the other has my fave constellation!!!)

i am a very very sassy, sarcastic, and witty person! i live for playful banter and teasing, i guess you could say that’s my way of flirting after me and the person i’m interested in have a friendship aha! i have comebacks for days and will not hesitate to roast someone into oblivion (although if it’s that harsh then i’ll immediately apologize bc i pinky promise i'm not mean okay)

i love to draw! i have a sketchbook and it’s strictly for my eyes only, UNLESS i deem someone special enough to view my sacred scribbles <33 i love to sketch people and things, and this might sound creepy but i have this urge to draw the people i’m close to sometimes (i did this a few times and omg i felt so embarrassed so i hid the drawings rip)

singing and music is also a big interest of mine! i’m not the best with instruments (i took viola for a while and i can still play but im no prodigy) but i am pretty good with my voice. people have told me that i have an ~aesthetic~ singing voice and that i have good vocal range hehe! sometimes i randomly break out into song around people i’m close to and they always either laugh or scoff and call me a ‘drama queen’ (i live for theatrics if you can’t tell, anyone who can match my dramatic flare is just yes <33)

oh and i am always down to do dangerous, stupid, and fun shit with my friends AHA 😙‼️i like to focus on the positive side of things, but i do have my icky days where i feel super insecure, sad, and useless ahaha 🥲✌️ my friends always make me feel better tho <3

———

whoops omg this was so long, i am SO SORRY

(pls accept my apology bc i feel kinda bad now 🥲)

congratulations on 500!! you deserve each and every follower you have and i am just so so happy for you!

mwah mwah tysm and make sure you’re drinking water and taking care of yourself, love!! 💞💞

Ahhh thank you so so much!! ❤️❤️ don’t worry, these aren’t closed until the 26th I just haven’t been linking to it because I’m lazy 😳 anywayyyyy ship under the cut! ❤️

I ship you with: James Potter!

The ravenclaw tower is cool and all, but you totally going to be hanging out in the Gryffindor common room a lot

James will sneak into your common room though

I promise

You’re short. Just thought I should say that lmao

James thinks it’s so cute though

I’m going to say that James is going to give you piggyback rides throughout the castle

Like even to class

Loves that he has to reach things for you

“C’mon short stuff!”

“Don’t call me short stuff, James!”

“Then stop being short!”

James absolutely loves your body

Like is in love with it

And he will shower you in love all the time

And of you ever get insecure he is right by your side

No matter what

He loves you so much

HE LOVES YOUR HAIR

James will want to brush it and braid it and do weird shit with it

Please put eyeliner on James

He’d look so hot

Janes is a bubbly guy

So I just feel like your personalities match so well

Like you guys are the couple that is always laughing at something

Or making faces at each other from across the room

James doesn’t want you to shut up ever

Because he never shuts up

He loves your voice

Even if you’re just reading some boring book out loud

Falls in love with you every day

JAMES LOVES TOUCH

I swear he will always be touching you

Hand holding

Leaning on you

Anything

Always always touching

Does that thing where he kisses the back of your hand

Like I mentioned before

James loves hearing you talk

So please ramble about space

All the time

Takes you to stargaze

All the time

(You’re going to do his astronomy homework too)

Playful banter is a must

James is cocky and playful and just

Overall sarcastic and sassy

So you guys are going to have loads of fun

Loses his shit when you roast someone

Claps for no reason

“That’s my girl!”

YOU DRAW??? That’s so cool

James always wan s to see what you’re drawing

But respects your boundaries and your privacy

Will hang your drawings up in his room if you give anything to him

Loves them so much

Singing!!!!!

You guys will sing a lot

He will request the Beatles a lot

But like you can just burst out into song randomly and he goes wild

He’s your number one fan don’t worry

You are definitely part of the Marauders

So

Dangerous and crazy shit is a must

James will always be a shoulder for you to cry on

and like

He just loves you so much

Nd always wants to be around you

He hates seeing you insecure or doubt yourself

“You’re my girl. And I love my girl.”

I hope you like your ship! And drink some water!! ❤️

[kuviras-eyeliner]

hi may i have a matchup pls 🥺👉👈

hi can i request a matchup for a student in 1-A? i am a straight scorpio female & im black with long curly dark brown hair. i have a nasal and septum piercing and a navel I wear round glasses; i am also 5’3 and petite as well as curvy & am an ambivert that is more introverted & am ISTJ. i am a very passionate, devoted, quirky/goofy, sweet, intuitive, supportive, affectionate and nurturing person who loves to dote on others and listen to people talk/ramble/vent about anything. i find it hard to open up to others due to past relationships and failed friendships so im very guarded but when i do open up to others i become more talkative. i come off as intimidating since i have a resting face. i can be a very possessive, distrustful and expressive person and don’t tend to hold my tongue and am very blunt but not to the point to where it’s rude. i also have the hugest soft spot for babies and animals and love manga and anime. i also love anything spiritual or space related as well. aromatherapy and self care are another thing that i love. i tend to be very stubborn but if given a legitimate reason or explanation i can be extremely cooperative. i tend to get easily overwhelmed, overthink and i have very bad anxiety and depression so i would prefer someone who’s gentle and patient. another trait i want in a partner is someone who can teach me things (interesting facts, helping me with hw, learning about life together, etc.), being able to be in tune with my emotions and just prioritizing means being devoted to me along with not judging me and just letting me be me.

thank you so much!

-🥀

Wahoo, I’m so glad I could finally get to 🥀 anon! Fun fact, I skipped over quite a few to get to yours ;D!! Thank you for being so detailed! That seriously makes everything so much easier and I really appreciate it :))

I match this lovely anon with...

♥ 𝕊𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕠 𝕋𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚 ♥

ᶜᵃⁿ ʷᵉ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉˢᵖᵉᶜᵗ ʰᵒʷ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵍⁱᶠ ⁱˢ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ⁻

After a long-awaited period of time, I match you with our favorite peppermint of all time! 

First Glances and Impressions: At first, Todoroki may seem like an absolute pain. To you, he seemed rude, ignorant, dismissive, and maybe even a little bit cold to everyone (pun intended). But as you got closer, realistically speaking, something definitely would have clicked-- suddenly, his behavior didn’t annoy you anymore. You didn’t mind that he was being a little off sometimes because he taught you so many things even when you didn’t realize. For instance, you noticed the small things-- whenever you successfully did something and you were proud of it, he’d smile the smallest bit and nod at you. Or maybe he’ll sometimes make eye contact with you first on purpose and give a quick smile before getting back to work. But honestly, the biggest enemies-to-lovers AU would be for you two! I definitely believe that at first, you and Todoroki slightly, passive-aggressively hated each other. You two would probably give each other cold-shoulders (pun VERY INTENDED) all the time for no reason, and you’d both stay very guarded-- that is, until, you two are forced to work together. 

What I think would happen: What I think would happen is that you two had to put your heads together in one of the training arenas, but Todoroki ended up doing everything within seconds, freezing anything in his path, while you didn’t get to do anything. He’d be stealing the spotlight at first, and being an absolute pain when you decide to confront him. Todoroki gets offended, slightly, when he accidentally loses control and hurts you. Instantly, he feels this odd feeling of guilt that he hadn’t felt before and decides to take you over to Recovery Girl for help because you tearing away from the frozen ice had nearly peeled your skin off. Eventually, Recovery Girl asks that you two should be more careful-- when you do wake up, Todoroki is laying on the floor, half-asleep when you ask for water, and let me tell you, that boy immediately sprints up and away as he goes to grab a cup for you. You figure out later that after the whole ice incident, Todoroki had felt so oddly guilty that he had stayed with you the entire night, waiting for you to wake up. 

How he helps you on bad days: Todoroki is in fact seen as an introverted, stereotypical, “emo,” fighting, and hot-headed character. However, if you know me, I hate stereotypes, so I’m here to break them! I think around the people he really loves, Todoroki would probably try to uplift you and he’ll actually be so soft and adorable around you, asking if you need water or a hug. He won’t be very verbal, on your bad days, however, since he’s bad at expressing himself with emotional vulnerability. But when he sees you, crying up against the wall, alone, he will not hesitate to run and slide down next to you. He won’t say much, but he’ll rock you back and forth and give you the softest hug in the world. Todoroki knows that you listen to a lot of people, but this time, he says, “I’m here to listen to you. Tell me what it is that you need,” and he’ll make sure that you don’t deny your feelings. He’ll tell you that no matter what, even in the worst nights, he’ll always be there for you. 

Other things: Todoroki will make sure that no matter what that you feel comfortable with him-- you two would be like best friends, and constantly grow together. He also struggles to hide his laughs and smiles when he's with you-- he's been eating more, smiling more, talking more, and overall, you're just this ray of light in the darkness that keeps him going in the toughest times.

~

So, how do you guys like this formatting? Is this better for you? Let me know! And also, anon, thank you for asking :) I really appreciate that you also said, “I think I have depression and anxiety” instead of self-diagnosing. I really do wish you the best!! Please take care of yourself and reach out to me for anything bby!!

Hugs and shoulderpats for everyone who needs them 😌😌

Stay safe!!

And also, thank you for asking! I really do put a lot of thought into these and take time to make it as thoughtful as possible, as well as comparing MBTI’s and different personality types and attributes. It’d mean the world to me if even just one tap, just a like would come from anyone :) You don’t even need to say thank you (because you guys are just that amazing).Yay!! <3 Thank you so much <hugs!>

[klaus-is-the-real-number-1]

She’s Lost Control (Number 5 x reader)

A/N: If anyone suffers from anything mentioned in this fic dont be affraid to message me because ive got a big heart full of love for every single one of you and i want you to know you are loved. Im no proffesional but im always here to listen. I wrote another sad boy fic a while ago called run boy run so you can look at that as well if you want. Yet again as always, five and the reader are teens. (sorry if this is abit dark but it gets better?)

ASK: Five x reader who has self harmed or is depressed and he sees the scars and just lots of fluff please. Im sorry if this is too dark or anything i just feel real bad and i want love man

Words:1162

WARNING: self harm, depression, pretty sad but gets fluffy, blood

Velvet red drops contrast with the stark white of the sink, it was another reminder that you corrupted everything you came in contact with, soft pink stains were a reminder of your previous offences. Your knuckles where white from gripping the sink, feeling shaky breaths leave your body only to cause a think layer of condensation to form on the mirror. The reflection staring back at you in the mirror was unrecognisable, dark circles and a tear stained face, it didn’t look like you, it couldn’t be you. Changing your attention back to the droplets, they were so free with no constraints for where and how they could flow, you wish you could flow like that, free of pain.

As you check your phone you sigh, you hadn’t left your room for days and you could feel the grime building up like a monster gripping at your skin. Your phone pinged, it was Five, he had called, texted and messaged you on almost every form of platform but you just ignored him. If he wanted to see you he could just come over, he could travel anywhere in seconds but couldn’t manage to come over to check on you. ‘It’s because he doesn’t actually care’ You couldn’t help but think to yourself. 

‘Please y/n, come over? I’ll help you catch up on the work you’ve missed at school’ The screen of your phone burnt into your eyes, rereading the words over and over, you weren’t going to reply but then you read the words that followed it. ‘I miss you.’ Maybe you should get out of your room for a bit, just to breathe. You simply respond with a simple ‘ok’ and proceed to tell him you’ll be about an hour.

Stepping into the shower, the warm water ran over your body like a waterfall, crashing on the white tiles at the bottom, but the water slowly turned pink, running over your fresh cuts. A stinging sensation ran through your arm, up through your body and into the core of your chest. It was a reminder how broken and imperfect life was. You slowly wash the grease and grime from your body, trying to wash the monster away but it was always there, always lurking for it’s next attack.

Oversized hoodies hugged you like an old friend, hiding your insecurities. The air was fresh, it chilled your lungs as you made your way to the Academy. Your school bag banged your back, filled with undone work and empty books that you were hoping would be filled with new work from the school you missed. You had also missed Five, seeing his face every day had almost became a necessity, his ramblings about space and time travel were foreign but hearing him get so excited made you smile, he always made you smile.

The doors of the Academy came to face you too soon but you just stood there for a few minuets, unsure weather you wanted to just turn and run home, run away from all your problems and fears. But you knocked anyways, wanting to see Fives face again. You were hardly able to get your third knock on the door until it flew open to reveal Five. The next thing you knew you were pulled inside the Academy with Five almost knocking you over while hugging you, a big bear hug that you sunk into, it was a welcome surprise after days without any contact with anyone.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered into your ear. Five hold you at arms length to almost examine your dark circles and sunken face. His eyes softened when they met yours. He gently smiled and grabbed your hand as you began to walk up to his room, he kept on rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand almost understanding what you were going through, but he never could understand, he could never know.

You were doing so well, making small talk, acting like everything was fine but then you fell. You fell. Five grabbed your arm to try to break your fall, all you could do was scream in pain. Five let go and stepped back, he watched you break down on his floor, all you could do was silently cry and violently shake, grabbing hold of your arm. The fabric slowly dampened and tuned dark as the stabbing pain started up again. You always had to find a way to mess up.

“y/n,” Five was kneeled down next to you, placing a hand on your back. “Please tell me whats going on, can I see your arm?” You just shook your head, refusing to look him in the eyes.  

“Pl-please.” His voice broke, when you opened your eyes you saw he was crying too. The unbreakable boy was in tears looking at you. Defeated, you let him pull you up and put you on his bed, and then with a blue light he was gone only to reappear mere seconds later holding a bottle of water and some bandages. Five gently pulled your arm closer to him, pulling your sleeve up like you were an ancient piece of fine china that could shatter into a million pieces with the slightest bit of pressure.

Five furiously wiped the tears from his eyes, he couldn’t believe someone as perfect as you could do this, he hated himself for not seeing the signs, for not just going over to check on you. As delicately as he could he wrapped your arm up, silently vowing to himself to never let you do this again, he couldn’t see you break down again, it’d kill him.

He started wiping your tears off with his thumbs, his hands either side of your face. Fives eyes held unknown emotions, he didn’t even know what he was feeling. Five embraced you, pulling you down onto the bed with him, his warmth giving you some kind of comfort.

“Promise me you’ll call me if you get bad again.” It wasn’t even a question, Five was telling you to do it. “I can’t see you get like this again y/n, you mean so much to me you don’t even know. It was torture not hearing or seeing you for them few days and I know I should of just came over. I’m so sorry.” You could feel Fives shaking breaths against the back of your neck, his hands shaking around your waist.

“I promise.” You didn’t know if you truly meant it but it was a start.

Five sighed, tightening his grip around you more. “Y/n, I actually fucking love you so much, you have no idea.”

You smiled on hearing his words. Too tired to respond, you just hum at his words, leaning into Fives embrace. Maybe Five could make a difference in your life but only time can tell but for now you were content, held in Fives arms you drifted off too sleeping, hoping that this would never end. 

[ewankoseyo]

catch flights, not feelings || jaebum drabble

A/N: Something to celebrate our favorite grandpa’s birthday! LMAOOO

——

so it’s 6 in the morning and you’re getting on an early flight back home after the holidays because you work the next week

and because it’s so early, you’re all groggy and not looking your best (to you at least)

you’re wearing an oversized hoodie that may or may not have toothpaste stains on it and soccer pants you’ve had on since the day before

a dad cap on for sure, because guess who forgot to brush their hair this morning !!!

and although you’re wearing glasses, you still can barely see because you’re struggling to keep your eyes open from lack of sleep

so yeah,

you a lil crusty lmao

but it’s okay because you’re not tryna impress anyone

but anyways, you’re getting settled into your seat

as a christmas gift, your mom bumped up your seat to first class since it was a 13 hour flight so you’re getting really comfy and loving all the leg room lol

you’re kind of excited because it’s almost time to take off and no one has taken the seat next to you so you might be getting the whole row to yourself !!!

it seems you thought too soon because suddenly a tall figure appears next to your row, shoving a suitcase in the overhead compartment before taking the seat next to you

it was nice while it lasted…

you leaned back in your seat and shifted your (now slightly open) eyes to the left, attempting to take a proper look at your new seat mate from your peripherals

a black-cladded boy sporting a bucket hat and a mask covering half his face

a celebrity perhaps?

you shifted your gaze down to his hands buckling his seatbelt in and you couldn’t help but notice how small they were 

not like super small, but small for a guy his height

you smirked at the thought before–

WAIT…could he be…?

all black, face mask, bucket hat, small hands, possibly a celebrity…

you side-eyed the figure next to you again, desperately trying to catch some glimpse of his face but the part of his face that his mask wasn’t covering was shadowed by his hat

you shrugged, putting your headphones on and closing your eyes to try to get some sleep

that could be anyone

you didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you had later woken up from your slumber feeling a crick in your neck

you blinked your eyes open, slowly registering the way you were positioned, the upper half of your body slumped over the arm rest and your head tilted way to the left

(it was a wonder how your neck hadn’t completely snapped off in your sleep)

you noticed an all black figure in front of you, leaning forward in his seat to give your body space, and you immediately snapped back into an upright position

“oh my god, I’m so sorry, please lean back, you could’ve just shoved me off, I’m really really truly sorry”

the figure next to you chuckled, now leaning back comfortably in his seat and giving you a little eye smile

“it’s okay, you seemed like you needed the rest and I just moved up in case you’d wake up from me moving around too much”

you nodded slowly in thanks, feeling too bad to say anything and bothering the nice guy even more

but his voice

you knew that voice

it HAD to be him

and you recognized that laugh, even though it was just a short chuckle, from anywhere

but you needed to be absolutely sure it was him

so you leaned back in your seat again, shooting quick glances at the mysterious boy next to you, who was attempting to catch up on the rest you had deprived him of (sorry!)

“you know, you can just say hi, I don’t bite”

the boy reopened his eyes and fully turned to look at you, moving his mask away from his mouth to reveal a familiar smirk

“unless you want me to”

he shot you a wink, chuckling once again at your wide-eyed expression before putting his mask back on

because to him, you looked like you just found out santa wasn’t real

your mouth opened and closed, struggling to find the right words to say

“j—jb, I mean jaebum-oppa, I MEAN jaebum-ssi, I—wai---how...?” 

“after a while, you can tell when someone is secretly staring at you to see if it’s actually you”

and though you couldn’t see it, you could’ve sworn he smirked again as he reached out to your phone on the tray table, pressing the home button to reveal the wallpaper

“and I noticed your phone earlier, why is jinyoung your favorite and not me?”

you quickly snatched your phone off the table and put it in your pocket

HOW EMBARRASSING 

you meet one of your favorite idols and this is your interaction with them ???????

you looked down, too embarrassed to make eye contact with the guy

you felt your face growing hotter by the second and you wished you could press a button that would eject you from the plane

because you figured free falling thousands of feet in the air would be better than THIS

“I just—I liked that picture—but I think you’re all equally amazing but I just like you all in different ways and for different reasons...good job on the recent comeback by the way I’m really digging the new album and me and my friends listen to your music a lot, it’s just so fun to listen to and you guys are working really hard thank you for the good music...”

oh god, you’re a freaking mess

you just couldn’t stop

even though you were fully aware of how much you were rambling and making a fool of yourself

but jb didn’t think so, giving you his full attention and a hidden smile of gratitude

but you took his silence through your rambling as a polite way of him telling you to shut up so you tried to wrap it up

“...but you must hear all that a lot and get tired of fans always coming up to you when you’re trying to rest so I’ll just stop and leave you be so you can get some sleep, you’ve been working so hard you need the rest more than I do and here I am, taking up all the space to sleep—”

jb shook his head and gave you another eye smile

“please, you’re not being annoying. thank you for all of the support. because of you, I’ll continue to work hard.”

you nodded and looked down again in embarrassment, feeling like he was just saying this to a crazy fan to be polite because that’s what he was supposed to do

you weren’t saying anything so jb spoke up again

“and I wish I could get some rest, but I can never seem to fall asleep on planes”

you finally looked up at him again

“would you like some allergy medicine? it’s the drowsy kind. you might not have any allergies but it’ll help you fall asleep. it’s what I do when I can’t sleep on long plane rides.”

jb removed a his mask again, flashing you his signature toothy smile before reaching down into his backpack for a bottle of water

(you were glad that the plane was noisy enough so he couldn’t hear you breath in sharply when he smiled at you)

“I’d really appreciate that actually, thank you!”

so you gave him the medicine which he graciously took, and within a few minutes, he was out like a light

he slept throughout the whole flight, which you were a little bummed about since it would have been nice to converse with him a bit more

even though you were a complete mess talking to him earlier, when would you ever get the chance to sit next to the im jaebum again?

but you were glad the boy was getting the rest he needed

but little did you know he woke up somewhere along the way

peeking through his barely-open eyes, he noticed you shifting in your seat so you could see the book you were reading better, moving carefully so as to not wake him up

and jb smiled to himself before returning to a deep slumber

only to wake up when he felt you gently nudging him

“umm, we’ve just landed”

this time it was his turn to be slightly embarrassed as he noticed he’d completely nuzzled himself on your shoulder sometime in his sleep

rubbing his eyes sleepily, he turned to you before laughing again

“see now you don’t have to feel bad about sleeping on my side”

you returned with a nervous laugh, trying to hide the growing blush on your face by dipping down in your seat to grab your bag off the ground

THE im jaebum, the one you put pictures up of on your desk at work, had been sleeping soundly on your shoulder on the plane

no one would ever believe you, this stuff only happened in the dramas!

as people on the plane stood to stretch and get their belongings, you realized your time with jb was fleeting 

you had to do something quick

jb was busy putting things away in his backpack when he felt a tap on his shoulder

“umm...I know this might not be the best time and we don’t look our best right now—I MEAN you look great! but I know I look kind of gross right now but uh do you think we could get a picture together? I jus—I’ll probably never see you again hahaha”

omg someone pls come help you

oh right, jb would

jb nodded, removing his mask and giving you another toothy smile

“of course”

you couldn’t stop smiling to yourself as you got out your phone and hurried to open up the camera app

despite looking like a mess, you needed to capture the once-in-a-lifetime moment

but jb thought you looked cute, chuckling to himself as you tried to fix yourself as best as you could

“just say when”

jb snaked an arm around your shoulders to get closer to you and you silently ordered your heart to stop beating so fast 

with shaky hands, you took the selfie of you two, nearly cheek-to-cheek and with big smiles despite how tired the both of you were

“thank yo—”

“wait I don’t think I looked good, let’s take another!”

you swore your heart was going to leap right out of your chest from the way he was pouting at you cutely

but you complied of course

“1, 2, 3—”

a small yelp left the back of your throat as you felt a pair of lips press against your cheek when you snapped the picture

jb only smirked again at your bewildered expression, getting up to follow the flow of people beginning to exit the plane

“thanks for letting me sleep on you. make sure you change your background to us, not jinyoung.”

after sending another cute smile and chuckle your way, he left

gone from your life

and for the next few weeks, you replayed the whole flight in your head

his kindness

his cute smile

his cute eye smile

his laugh

the feeling of his head on your shoulder

the feeling of his arm around your shoulders

the spark of electricity that surged through your body when he pecked your cheek

that was hands-down the best moment of your life

now it’s back to reality, you thought to yourself, glancing over at your phone screen while wiping down the counter in front of you

as per jb’s request, you had changed your phone wallpaper to the second picture you had taken of the two of you

looking at the picture and remembering that moment was a nice little pick-me-up on slow days like this one at your part-time job

you sighed for the nth time that evening, looking towards the clock on the wall

just one more hour, you thought, for once actually missing the early morning coffee rush shifts you’d sometimes be put on

at least time went by faster then

you were broken out of your thoughts by a bell ringing, signaling a customer entering the coffee shop

“hi welco—”

your jaw nearly dropped to the ground when you saw who had walked in and you almost knocked over the stack of cups on the counter in your surprise

the customer in front of you lifted his eyebrows in surprise before replying to your shocked expression with an amused one and laughing

you know, the laugh that’s been burned into your brain? THAT laugh

“I was going to ask if you guys made iced chocos here, but I guess now I also want to ask...did you change your wallpaper?”

——

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

jumpstarted [jeremy h. x reader] pt.2

tumblr hates links so if anyone wants to give me money - i have a paypal and a ko-fi, dm me if you want!

i cant believe i forgot to put this shit here

warnings: none pls enjoy this fluffy shit

              What went from being a simple crush was blown into straight-up hardcore pining within a few weeks. After that pool party, it seemed like Jeremy’s friends had settled on taunting him by inviting you everywhere they went. He’d go get froyo with them on the hotter weekends when he wasn’t working, and miraculously you’d be there - invited by someone in the group with a knowing smile. Michael would be having a movie night and he’d just oh-so-casually throw out your name while he and Jeremy would be getting things together, and laugh when he’d fumble with the bag of M&Ms he’d been pouring into a bowl. To push it even further, Michael miraculously managed to get everyone on board with making the only space for Jeremy to sit (because they all knew Jeremy took forever before movies began just getting an extra soda so he wouldn’t have to get up later, and then would debate about what he’d want while the argument of what to watch was hashed out in the basement) was by you. He didn’t mind - he never minded, after all, because it was you - but the way your knee pressed into his own while you were entranced by the movie (and he’d never forget when you dozed off, your head falling against his shoulder while his heart pounded in his chest and he thanked whatever was looking out for him that everyone else had already fallen asleep by them) or the way you hid your mouth when you laughed (something he’d never understand - you were ethereal in his eyes) or the way your eyes lit up when he brought you a Kit-Kat when someone was kind enough to give him a warning that you’d be hanging out with them. What he had hoped would happen would be that he would be able to get over these messy feelings before senior year officially started. 

              But, of course, that wouldn’t have happened anyway. Jeremy knew for a fact that the day he’d be over you would be the day you went your separate ways for college - and he had been fine with that. He was fine with lying in bed at night and thinking about your laugh and your smile and your everything with red cheeks and a warm feeling in his chest. He was fine with looking at you and sometimes wondering what it’d be like to kiss you, to hold your hand, to fall asleep next to you or with your head on his chest and knowing you liked him back. He was fine with hearing your soft, teasing “Jeremiah?” when he got too lost in gazing at you, and the way you’d laugh it off and ask what’s up with him (something he always had to bullshit an excuse for, and thankfully you seemed to buy every single one) - and fuck, he realized how much he hated his full name but you made it sound like a song and he wanted to listen to it on repeat if you were the one singing it. His nerves made him especially fluttery around you, because you were you and he found you amazing in every way.

              And god, did he have it bad for you.

              But you liked it. You liked the way he got lost in your eyes sometimes, only for you to smile and make him fluttery and fidgety with the edge of his shirt while stuttering out an apology and a excuse you knew was bullshit (but it was cute to watch him get so nervous over you, because wow, he was cute). You liked teasing him with his full name from time to time, watching how his cheeks would flush and he’d smile at you like an idiot before resuming what he’d been saying with a small stumble over his words. When Jeremy rambled, you honestly fell in love with the passion he held for anything and everything - whether it be theatre or video games or science. The way he lit up was enough to make your heart skip a beat and send you into a tizzy, because you loved it when his smile reached his eyes and the exciting lift to his voice when he was just so damn happy. At first you thought it’d been his friends just being nice to you, inviting you along so that you’d have friends. The day you woke up with your head on Jeremy’s shoulder was the day you realized it’d been more than that. The butterflies in your stomach were enough to confirm the feelings that’d been budding and preparing to surprise you when you least expected it - because while you found Jeremy extremely cute and sweet and passionate, you hadn’t processed why you found yourself gravitated towards him so often. Part of you wanted to play for a little longer, to tease him and see how flustered he could get before you finally maybe made a move on him and asked him out (or, maybe you’d straight up kiss him out of frustration, because holy fuck you caught yourself staring at his lips too often and you kept wanting them to be on your own). You found yourself smiling when you got home, staring at your ceiling with a Kit-Kat on your dresser from Jeremy because he remembered your favorite chocolate. 

              That was the most frustrating part. Anyone and everyone could see the mutual pining between the two of you. It got worse when classes began and the two of you had classes together. Michael caught every single glance you stole towards Jeremy, Rich noticed his love-struck gaze from across the table, and Chloe was growing more and more aggravated with the fact neither of you seemed like you were intending on doing something about it - and no one else had any plans either. 

              So she took it into her own hands, for both you and Jeremy and for the sake of everyone around the two of you as well.

              When Chloe invited you to go to an amusement park one Saturday afternoon, you were beyond excited. Something about having some fun before the stress of senior year got to all of you. So you were glad to meet the group at the amusement park, happily chatting about the day ahead of you until you got inside the park and immediately were abandoned by everyone except for Jeremy. The way your heart hammered in your chest as you turned to face him, unsure of whether to run off or to stay with him. You didn’t know the park. Jeremy, on the other hand, did due to years of going there with Michael.

              “I can, uh,” Jeremy started as he stepped to your side, “show you the best rides since...” He paused, looking around, “I guess everyone already had plans?”

              “I’d like that,” you said with a small smile.

              As Jeremy walked away, you quickly fell into step beside him. He pointed out every ride with a story to tell from years before, rambling on and on while he guided you around and in lines. He warned you about everything - the fast, thrill rides that he’d grown to love over years of building confidence (a few of which you had to withdraw from, Jeremy glad to redirect you elsewhere) and the worst places to get certain snacks and the games that were definitely rigged because he and Michael had been trying to win at them for years and they totally didn’t suck at them (you laughed at that, and Jeremy blushed, and then you blushed, and for a moment the two of you were just laughing stupidly at such a small comment). You found yourself reaching for his hand on a thrill ride, gripping it tightly as you screamed. 

              The moment you were off, you turned to Jeremy, “sorry about that.” When he stared at you curiously, you continued, “I think I crushed your hand.”

              “Oh!” He then cracked into a small smile, scratching the back of his neck, “I didn’t mind.” He paused, before looking around, “why don’t, uh, you chose something?”

              You immediately knew what you wanted. “You aren’t afraid of heights, right?” You asked with a smile.

              He understood immediately and grinned back at you. “Not with you around,” he immediately dropped his grin before realizing what he said and you only chuckled in response.

              You reached for his hand, slipping yours into his while looking up at him for any sign of discomfort. He only smiled at you. So you smiled back again. “Good.”

              Thirty minutes later and the two of you were climbing into a car and waiting for the Ferris wheel to start. Every step of the way, you glanced to Jeremy in attempts to read him and make sure that he wasn’t uncomfortable. True to his word, he seemed calm with you at his side. When the ride jerked to life, you felt his hand grasp yours tightly for a moment before relaxing. And as fate would have it, you felt the cliche come to life as the car stopped with you and Jeremy at the very top - tightly holding hands and smiling like idiots at one another.

              “You scared?” You asked, a teasing little tone to your voice.

              “With you here? Never.” And then he realized his words and he pulled his gaze away from yours. “Hey, uh, [y/n], I have something I, uh... want to tell you-”

              Before he could finish, you only laughed softly. “I like you too, you big dork.”

              He whipped around to face you. “Wait, you-” 

              “Yes, Jeremiah, I know you have a big ass crush on me,” you smiled, “I’m just surprised you didn’t realize I like you back since I wasn’t exactly hiding it.”

              “This... is going to sound really cliche, but...” The way his cheeks and the tips of his ears turned red gave away what he was about to ask you.

              “Yes.” You beamed, “you can kiss me, Jeremy.”

              His face burned with heat as he leaned forward, and you met him half-way, lips about to touch right as the ride jerked back to life. He scrambled back from you, face still red as a tomato as he looked away, rambling under his breath about of course this would happen he was right about to kiss you and he really wants to kiss you and-

              Before he could finish his hurried mutterings, you got his attention and took your chance and you kissed him. He tensed up slightly at first, only for relax, and you pulled back for barely a second before he was kissing you again. The moment the car had lowered to a certain point the two of you drew back, smiling at one another with sunkissed skin and an ever warmer feeling resting in your chests. Maybe it was cliche, but... you didn’t mind.

              After all - it was Jeremy. You were glad it was Jeremy you fell for - and nothing would ever change that.

[jisungsmochi]

end up here; lee donghyuck part one

finally posting another imagine! this is based off the 5 Seconds of Summer song because i can’t seem to think of an original storyline at the moment lmao. anyways, pls enjoy & send requests if you have any! 

A/N: part two will be uploaded tomorrow!!!

------------------

You walked in, everyone was asking for your name

You just smiled and told them “Trouble”

My head spins, I’m pressed against the wall

Just watching your every move,

You’re way too cool

And you’re coming this way

His eyes followed her every move from the moment she entered the classroom, his peers were whispering to each other, glancing at the new girl. His mouth hung open as his friends were trying to get his attention

“Hey, Hyuck?” Jaemin flicked the zoned out boy, on the shoulder, causing him to snap out of his small trance.

“Y-yeah?” he answered back, ignoring Jaemin’s actions

“Whatcha looking at?” Jaemin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at Jeno who was ready to introduce himself to the new girl. Donghyuck’s eyes widened as he saw his friend approach the girl before tapping her on the shoulder. The two boys who were seated, watched as Jeno began speaking to her. They couldn’t pin point any specific words that were being said, but the conversation was cut short when Jeno spun on his heel, waddling his way back to his seat.

“What did you say to her?” Donghyuck asked, trying not to sound too interested at that point.

“Well since I’m class president, I thought I should have been the first to introduce myself, so when I asked her for her name, and she just said ‘Trouble’” Jeno explained, causing Jaemin to furrow his eyebrows in confusion, but Donghyuck let out a small chuckle.

He thought you were absolutely captivating, from the way you shot down Jeno, to the way you placed all your items on your desk neatly, not focusing on anybody but the teacher. To say the least, Donghyuck was intrigued by you, but he just didn’t know if he could talk to you, if Jeno, the most popular boy in the grade, couldn’t hold a proper conversation with you, what chance did he have?

As class ended, the three boys made their way the front of the school, stopping by Jaemin’s locker first. They were discussing plans for the weekend, Donghyuck wasn’t listening as attentively as he should have been. His mind kept wandering to the mysterious girl who had barely said a word since she stepped foot in the school. Suddenly, almost as if it was on cue, the girl he had been wondering about, waltzed her way through the hall. She held her books close to her chest, her black leather boots tapping on the ground harshly, her face was unreadable, no expression could be clearly made, and she was coming his way.

Donghyuck panicked, he glanced to see if his friends noticed she was walking closer to them, but they were looking at some comics that Jaemin had randomly found in his locker. Donghyuck’s palms became sweaty, he looked at the girl, making direct eye contact, he couldn’t get out of it now. Before he knew it, there you were, standing in front of him. You reached to about his shoulder, having to tilt your head to properly look at him,

“Um excuse me? you’re standing in front of my locker” you politely tell him, waiting for him to move. Donghyuck mentally face palmed himself, muttering a short apology before moving towards his friends. You watched as he hung his head low, trying to insert himself into the small huddle with his friends.

How did we end up talking in the first place?

You said you liked my Cobain shirt

Now we’re walking back to your place

You’re telling me how you love that song

About living on a prayer, pretty sure that we’re half way there

And when I wake up next to you I wonder how,

How did we end up here?

As you put your books in your locker, you kept stealing glimpses at him, although you could only see his back. You closed your locker with a slight bang, thinking to yourself ‘here goes nothing’. You tapped his shoulder, waiting for him to turn around, internally preparing yourself to talk to him.

“I really like your Cobain shirt, I haven’t seen this design before” you compliment him, hoping you didn’t immediately make the atmosphere awkward.

He was startled by your question, genuinely taken back by your small frame in front of him once again.

“O-oh thanks! It was my dad’s, maybe that’s why you haven’t seen the design before. I really like your uh jacket” he blurted out, not properly processing any word that left his mouth.

“Thanks, I’m y/n by the way, I came here like yesterday” you placed your hand to shake his, he quickly took it and gave your hand a soft squeeze, his cheeks feeling hotter by the minute.

“I’m Donghyuck” you nodded along with him, pulling your hand away and placing them inside your pockets.

“I’ll see you around” you gave him a small smile before walking off to your next class.

Donghyuck waited until you were out of sight, before turning back to his friends, who’s jaws were dropped.

“What was that about?” Jaemin smirked, giving the rose coloured boy, a nudge.

“Nothing, she just complimented my shirt” he shrugged, playing it off as something insignificant.

“I can’t believe she spoke to you first; did she tell you her name?” Jeno questioned, referring to last period where you completely shut down his attempt to talk to you.

“yeah she did tell me her name, and is it bad she spoke to me first? Maybe I’m a catch” Donghyuck shrugged before swinging his backpack over his shoulder

“See you later losers” he teased before pushing open the doors of the school and making his way home.

---

As he made his way to the front of the school, he saw you sitting at the bottom of the staircase, tapping on your phone.

He looked around, seeing if you were waiting for anybody, before he could have a proper look around, you were one step ahead of him. You skipped up the stairs, giving him a small wave, in which he reciprocated.

“Fancy seeing you again” you joked, watching as his face softened upon looking at yours.

“It’s not like you just saw me like 5 minutes ago” he rolled his eyes playfully, watching as you pushed some hair behind your ears.

“what were you doing, sitting on the steps?” he questioned.

“well, I was dropped off at school this morning and now I have no idea how to get home? I was going to call my brother but he’s busy and my parents are at work” you sighed, gripping your phone in your hand a bit tighter.

“oh that sucks, where about do you live? Maybe I can help” he offered generously, making your face instantly light up.

“yes! Here’s my address” you showed him your phone which had you address written in your notes, he glared at the screen for a few seconds before looking back at you.

“This is actually going to sound crazy, but you live on the next street to mine, we can walk home together” he recommended, which immediately made you blush. Hoping he wouldn’t notice, you nod quickly, turning to walk down the stairs as he trailed behind you.

As you walked next to each other, part of you both wanted to start a conversation.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but judging from your outfit, I assume you like rock music?” He stammered, shoving his hands inside his pockets, awaiting your answer.

“I guess so, I’m not a die-hard fan but it’s pretty good, it’s all my parents listen to during Sunday cleaning so” you chuckled softly, which made his face light up even more.

“Same, my parents play Michael Jackson any chance they get” he shook his head slightly, kicking some small rocks that were on the sidewalk.

“On the topic of music, I really like that song, about living on a prayer? Bon Jovi I think” you rambled on, not sure if he was still interested in the conversation.

“yes!” he stopped to high five you, the contact making you both widen your eyes at each other and retract your hands.

When you reached your house, you invited him in to continue your current conversation on how you plan on spending your weekend.

“I’m going somewhere with Jeno and Jaemin, the guys I was with earlier” he explained as he took a seat on your desk chair.

“Ahh I see, was Jeno the one who tried to talk to me?” you snickered, thinking back to the encounter.

“Yeah, he was pretty cut that you shut him down” you both laughed at the situation.

Before you knew it, you were both sitting on your bed, listening to random albums you found in your room whilst chatting about random topics. Every time you spoke, he would make sure to be fully attentive, not missing a single word you were saying. You felt his eyes on you, making you blush, hoping he wouldn’t say anything if he did see your cheeks heating up. On the other hand, he was filled with nerves, unsure of how to answer you or what to say to you. Despite that, he felt comfortable with you, as if he had known you for a while. You reciprocated those feelings, at ease that you found someone new who you didn’t feel like you had to try hard to impress. That was the thing, you didn’t need to try at all. To him, you were already incredible.

You both lost track of time, which was signalled when there was a knock on your bedroom door. It woke Donghyuck, who glanced down at you, who was fast sleep. It was around 6:30pm, not too late for him to rush home. You wriggled underneath your sheets, your eyes opening to meet Donghyuck lying next to you. Your eyes widened when the knock was heard again. Your brother opened the door, glancing between you and Donghyuck who immediately shuffled away from you and stood at your desk.

“You finally made friends!” your brother teased before announcing “Dinner’s being delivered, you’re lucky mum and dad aren’t here to see this” he chuckled as he closed the door, leaving you embarrassed and Donghyuck, in shock.

“Are you going to be in trouble?” he rushed to you.

“No, my brother just likes to tease me, and my parents wouldn’t mind if you came over to be honest, I don’t usually bring around a lot of friends anyway” you shrugged, laying back down and patting the space next to you for him to lay.

He thought to him, how did I end up here?

[ninja-scenarios]

Naruto matchup

Someone said: “Heyo can I get a matchup? Saoirse, 20, demiheterosexual, female, short copper hair, medium height, fit (dancer), literally glowing pale w/a million freckles, hazel eyes. Optimistic extrovert w/ the amazing combo of adhd, depression, and anxiety. Mild to severe anxiety attacks. Tends to see the best in everyone, when you do truly get me mad, you wish you never had. Slow to anger/irritation, but slowly gets snarky and snippy, eventually just ignore you. More often than not bright and bubbly, it's never a bother to go out of my way to make someone's day. Hate speaking in front of a crowd, excellent performer though. Hobbies include dancing, writing, sewing, baking, archery, and knive throwing. I'm addicted to books and music. When unsure of myself, or worried that I've upset someone, or somethings going to go terribly wrong, I tend to psych myself out due to my anxiety. Mom friend override is applicable. Hard time dating due to this. Very oblivious when someone is attracted to me. I'd rather set aside my own feelings to keep a friendship than risk losing said friend due to unrequited feelings. Friends say I'm a huge nerd (because I am), the mom friend, kind, spazzy, but always willing to be there for everyone. Either talk way too much or not at all; as much as I love to talk, I do love to listen to others talk about something they love. Typically good at reading people unless it's in romantic situations, and always willing to give space, listen, or whatever the person needs. Generally diplomatic, also annoyingly oblivious at times. Love language is touch, then acts of service. Very conscientious of others and their personal space; personally, I have none, but absolutely don't want to violate other´s space. Been told I give the best hugs. Sometimes, I zone out and make random weird noises, always at the worst time. Very good at jumping from Point A in a conversation to Point X-5A with absolutely no transition, though it was perfectly connected in my head. Very athletically smart, as well as book smart, and good common sense when my adhd doesn't tune it out. Remembers the important things, but forgets everything else. Like what day of the week it is. Or if I ate breakfast. Very bad at handling social situations when someone of romantic interest is involved. Doesn’t matter if I like them or if they like me. It's one big disaster if we happen to both like each other. Naruto fandom pls and thank you!!”

I ship you with Kakashi!

This guy will be able to help you out whenever you need it and let you lovingly take care of him at the same time! Since he´s not a man of many words, your ability of reading people can be used perfectly here. Kakashi will also be very thankful for it and completely adores your bubbly personality. Seeing you happy and excited never fails to put a warm smile on his face (the kind where the eyes smile too… you know? So precious!). I have a feeling that he´d also love listening to you ramble about something. Both of you are good listeners, but I think Kakashi has problems with opening up and talking about things that bother him. One has to be patient with him.

It´s very cute how obvious you are and Kakashi loves teasing you lightly about it. Most times he´ll atone for it with a kiss ;) Since you´re the “mom-friend” of your group, you often forget to look after yourself or to put your priorities over the ones of others. Kakashi is quick to remind you of your own worth and makes sure that you don´t neglect yourself in any way, while accepting that you´re a people-pleaser. Therefore you´ll often find him having brought your favourite snack or drawing you a bath.

It´s pretty interesting for him that you have so many hobbies and with time he´d want to learn about each one. That doesn´t necessarily mean that he´ll get into them as well, but he´ll want to gather a few pieces of information about the topics so he can be of help. Also, this way he´ll actually know about the things you talk and gladly contribute to the conversation.

He´s also the type to not show his jealousy, but it´s also not easy to trigger this emotion at him in the first place. However, he does his very best to show his feelings, not necessarily in public since he´s not the guy for PDA. Yet, there´ll be a LOT of snuggling and kisses awaiting you at home!

I hope you liked the match up <3<3<3

[ihopennooneiknowseesthis]

drunk - fionn whitehead

requested(?): yes!

“I love ur writing sm like ur my fav person that writes for fionn. and if you can, can you pls do a imagine where the reader gets drunk at an event and she ends up getting ready bad so fionn takes her in his car to calm her down/sober her up but they’re not dating just friends but she keeps flirting with him like saying inappropriate things and starts unbuttoning his shirt but he stops her and says things like “no love not now.” and fuc k just let’s of fluff and caring!fionn please 😭😭”

word count: 1351 - kinda got carried away oops

warnings: sexual references/themes, swearing, almost smut ?

drunk words are often tell the truth.

Fionn was sitting in his london flat watching a movie to cope with jetlag when his phone went off. He wasn’t sure who could be calling since it was almost 3:00am so he was quite surprised to read the caller ID out as your name. 

“Hello?” “Fionny!” your loud voice made him jump in his bed a bit, and he held his phone a little farther away from his ear before speaking, “Is everything alright, Y/N? Why are ye calling me at this hour?” “Ya know Fionn, I miss you, I really do and I wish you were here with me because I want another drink and no one will get me one but you always do!” Your rambling led Fionn to the realization that you were drunk in a bar somewhere, and it was quite obvious you wouldn’t be able to make it home.

“Y/N where are you?” Fionn asked, sitting up in his bed and pausing the tv. He kept his phone balanced on his shoulder as he listened to you ramble on about the poor service at the bar, as he hurriedly put on some sweats and a jumper. He repeated his question as he grabbed his keys and wallet before repeating the question. “I don’t know Fionn, some guy is asking me to go with him and he has a beard, you know I’ve always wanted to touch one..” Fionn’s heart sank as he immediately rushed out the door with his shoes half on and made his way to his car. “Jesus, Y/N love, please tell me where you are.” “Umm I think the bar near mine?” “I need you to stay where you are please, and if the guy doesn’t leave you alone go to the loo or something, just please don’t leave with him. I’m coming to get you okay? Stay there Y/N,” And with that, Fionn drove off to where you were as fast as he could.

Fionn pulled up in front of the bar to see you in front of it, repeatedly slapping your phone against your hand, as if to be looking for batteries, and sure enough he saw a bearded guy next to you, saying something but you clearly weren’t listening. As Fionn made his way over to you both he could make out parts of what the man was saying, “C’mon lass it’ll be fun, just come with me.” And before he could grab your arm, you locked eyes with Fionn.

“Fionny baby! You’re here!” You squealed and stumbled over to him, wrapping your arms lazily around his neck. You turned back to the bearded man, “Sorry, I have to go with my handsome Fionny but I like your beard!” You giggled as you turned back to Fionn who was feeling very relieved he got to you in time, and was finding your behavior very amusing. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

After a lot of struggling Fionn finally managed to get you into the car safely, but the struggling didn’t end there. You had fallen asleep immediately after you got into the back seat, however when you arrived at his apartment parking lot, you were wide awake. Fionn opened the door and tried to get you out but instead he was pulled in by the collar of his jumper, and fell on top of you. The boy was immediately very flustered, and tried to move but your wrapped your legs around him. “There was a lot of room for me to sleep comfortably, I think theres enough space to do something else right Fionn?”

Fionn gulped as your batted your eyelashes, and he so desperately wanted to kiss you right then and there but he didn’t want to take advantage of you just because of the crush he’s had on you since the day you met. He awkwardly chuckled before pushing himself off of you, and you sat up with him. He tried to move away from the door, but you trapped him there by wrapping your legs around his waist, “C’mon Fionny, you may not have a beard but you have something else I wouldn’t mind touching” you winked at the end with a giggle, enjoying the teasing. Fionn froze at your statement and before he knew it, your fingers were underneath his jumper and shirt, trailing your fingers up his bare skin. “Fucking hell Y/N” he exhaled, breathing heavily.

Fionn quickly snapped out of his daze and pried himself away from you and quickly helped you out the car before locking it, and walking ahead of you into the apartment, with you closely following behind. At this point you weren’t drunk, but you weren’t sober. However you knew what you were doing. Fionn may have been your best friend, but you had feelings for him, both sexually and romantically, and the liquid courage from earlier was helping you act upon these feelings. You couldn’t lie, it turned you on immensely seeing his adam’s apple bob up and down as he licked his lips while listening to your words and responding to your more than straightforward actions. You knew that he was interested too, however Fionn was too sweet to do anything.

Once inside, Fionn made his way to the kitchen to get you some water. He looked behind him and shyly said, “Sit anywhere you like” and you cheekily responded, “how about you sit me on these counters and do whatever you like?” At this point, Fionn had lost all control, he was sweating as he was picturing the words you had just uttered. He had to rest his arms on the fridge handle to gain his composure before turning back to you and handing you the water. You drank down some of it before looking at Fionn, “Finish the whole cup Y/N, you’ll get dehydrated if you don’t.” 

Fionn spoke without eye contact, still shaken up from all of your teasing remarks throughout the night. He knew you were drunk, but surely by now you were sober enough to know and mean what you were saying? Nonetheless, Fionn wasn’t going to make a move, it was too risky. As if you read his mind, you took a few steps toward him, “I don’t want water Fionn, I want you.” Fionn looked down at you, eyes dark and hooded with lust, and he leaned with his hands behind his bum on the counter behind him, restraining himself from you. It was quite a difficult task, considering you still had your bar outfit on, and your hair was tousled from the car ride. 

You moved your hands underneath his shirt again, dragging your finger down from the top of his abs to the waistband of his boxers, smiling to yourself when you noticed Fionn taking deep breaths with his eyes closed. You tugged on the jumper, and almost had it over is head before Fionn realized what was going on and grabbed your hands. “No, no, not now love.” “Why not? Do you not want me Fionn?” He let out an exasperated sigh, “Of course I do, Y/N, I just don’t want you to regret this love.” “Nothing would make me regret this, I want you Fionn.” 

He looked into your eyes, and he knew it was you talking, not the alcohol. “You want me?” he whispered. You nodded, “100 percent” and with that Fionn crashed his lips onto yours. You immediately reacted, tilting your head in order to deepen the kiss. Fionn let go of your hands and instead reached for your hips, giving them a light squeeze. You slightly grinded into Fionn’s body that was pressed up against the counter, feeling him tense. You pulled away and kissed from behinds his ear, down to his collarbone and he let out a low groan at your actions. He kissed you once again roughly before grabbing underneath your thighs and lifting you, and making his way to the bedroom.

It was safe to say you were thankful for your drunk confidence when you woke up next to Fionn’s bare body and soft snores the morning after.