#but overtime take so much of my free time and i want to gaming other stuffs so you see i am in a bit of shambles right now

[laciefuyu]

marius definitely has the time of his life teasing our older duo with the notes they get (www rosa was also about to tease artem with "surprise attack snatching the notes, brats all of them (affectionate))

VYN AND ARTEM HELPLESS SMILE JUST MAKE ME WHEEZE. Then the follow-up response from vyn, like okay bestie you're also little shit (fond) and Artem just let it slide and read the note about Rosa instead ajsks.

Also love how luke and artem got the customer's crushes LMAO deserves 🫶 then also the first one think of foods and drinks for the hangout after LOL

NXX5 YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME 🥺🥺

They have Seaside holidays your honor, they're going for the iced drinks that luke wants to try, salmon meals that artem heard is good, playing at the beach like marius wants and have afternoon tea on the beach together.

I love you my NXX (yes even in Main Story, I love the pain you see)

[snaccpopstudios]

Hi everyone! We're here with the long awaited post on our newest bachelor, Simoun. We know you've all been abuzz with questions about him so we hope to answer some of that in this deep dive into his creation. This post is in lieu of our usual Wednesday devlogs as we've been writing this over the span of several weeks, and was co-authored, edited, and reviewed by Tobias, Jude, ToyboxToonz, Primarvelous, and Sauce. The above image was drawn by @toyboxtoonz.

You can read the full post for free on Patreon, or click the readmore to see it all!

Personally speaking, some of my concerns since Simoun's debut are thoughts like "Do people think I'm making SnaccPop Studios push an agenda?" and "Do people think I'm going through a checklist while making new characters?" It's made it difficult for us to write this quickly because this is quite personal to myself and the rest of the sensitivity consultation team on the DachaBo team.

Concept to Creation

The story of DachaBo begins way before SnaccPop Studios itself was even a concept (that's Sauce's story to tell though). Early Patreon art of Simoun exists from November 2022, back before I was signed on to manage the Patreon and any other projects besides Sunny Day Jack. Sauce had some ideas laying around for several other characters in the DachaBo universe that didn't make it into the proof-of-concept demo:

I dug up an old draft for the DachaBo cat character we teased and it featured a story concept where the cat character was originally a female DachaBo character, referencing the original female design. And overtime he got tired of how he was being treated and decided to change his own self to reflect who he wanted to be, not the sycophants who collected the toys and whatnot ... It was shelved because I didnt have the means to sensitivity check it The designs are half cooked is all but he was supposed to be Indian ethnicity coded for no other reason than I've never seen a character like that

One thing that's important to note is that there definitely are Indian folks who are gender diverse (see Hijra on Wikipedia for a quick primer on one of the traditionally recognized nonbinary genders in South Asia) so it's not a novel concept by any means, but it's also not very common in media whatsoever.

Why The Long Wait?

One of the other contributing reasons as to why Sauce wasn't able to do much with the concept at the time is because we didn't have a VA for him confirmed yet, as I explained in May:

One thing that's rather unique to SnaccPop Studios in all of my experience as a game developer is the fact that all of our series involve coordinating with Voice Actors from the start, which means we need to take the VAs themselves into account when making characters. Adding another layer of complexity in hiring is the fact that SnaccPop Studios is a strictly Erotic Adult brand focusing on masculine love interests, and even if we focus more on the softcore, there's still the unfortunate stigma that any 18+ work has when attached to your name. All of these contributing factors make the potential talent pool that much smaller. This isn't to make excuses: I know SnaccPop Studios can do better on this front. While we can't make changes to some of the existing series' main cast (we don't want to put people out of a role they've been promised), we will do better moving forward to incorporate more diverse characters into our future titles, and that's a pledge

In the field of voice acting, it's best practice to cast actors with similar backgrounds to the character they're voicing, particularly for characters from marginalized populations (ethnicity, culture, gender, etc.), because it's a recurring issue in all professions where marginalized folks are regularly turned down for employment or career opportunities. You don't have to look far for instances where other voice directors failed to cast the proper talent for a character, even in the AAA sphere where they ought to have the resources to be able to find the proper talent; at SnaccPop, we wanted to avoid that situation at all costs.

Finding Simoun's Voice

So we had to confirm a VA first before we could do anything. Sauce, Reece, and I all tried to put private ads out for a trans masc POC (any ethnicity with dark skin) actor for a R18 game, which was largely met with silence at first, then responded to by folks who didn't fit the role in a full capacity (many only hit one or two of the criteria we laid out, some of them none at all). And it's not hard to imagine why: it's common knowledge that the majority of erotic works often fetishize marginalized people who are otherwise underrepresented in mainstream media. Things such as skin color, body type, hair color, age, etc. are treated as traits to be objectified, and on the off chance that queer folks or people of color might see themselves in porn… it's usually not for the most flattering or empowering of reasons. How could we, an exclusively Adults-only studio, convince someone who isn't familiar with us that we wanted to make something for people like them rather than something that turns them into mere masturbating material?

We were almost about to give up on the Catboy until I decided to take a chance on contacting a VA whom I hadn't had any formal and proper interactions with before. I'd been a fan of his work and knew him from an audition he sent in from a previous game I had worked on, but he knew me solely by name at best since we were following each other on Twitter. Still, it was a lead, and after chewing my nails for half a day, I shot off a message to Soren Viloria.

And what do you know? He said he'd give it a shot as his first NSFW role.

Naming the Lad

Soren is a Filipino VA, and despite the fact that I myself seem to be mistaken as Filipino by other Asians quite regularly, I'm actually not as well-versed in that culture as I ought to be.

There's actually a reason why we were so secretive with Simoun's name for a while: he didn't have one yet, so internally we just kept calling him "the Catboy." We wanted to pick a culture-appropriate name for him, something that was meaningful: Soren initially suggested "Siopao" as it was a common cat name (it's a type of Filipino Steamed Bun, so think of how many pets you've seen who have names like Cupcake or Nacho Supreme), but that didn't seem serious enough for a tsundere catboy like him. A few days later, Soren did a little research on a few well-known characters from Philippine media/culture that fit the bill a bit better:

Elías from the Philippine Revolution novel Noli Me Tángere (a required reading in the Philippines). Cat may like his radical tendencies for revolution and his deep, devoted connections.

Simoun from Noli's sequel, El filibusterismo. Holds revolutionary values similar to Elías, but far less noble and more of a loner. Violent at times, and will do what it takes to get his way.

Panday/Flavio, a very popular hero. Part of his charm is that he doesn't have special powers, but took matters into his own hands and forged a magical blade. Has been portrayed in both 'cool' and comedic ways.

Ricardo "Cardo" from the Philippines' longest-running TV drama Ang Probinsyano. Just a cool action hero dude who cares about family, but is also very ambitious and angy.

Seeing as how we already had an Elias Gallagher, Simoun seemed to be the perfect fit, and the name stuck pretty easily.

Simoun's Boundaries

Now that Simoun had a name, we were able to talk about him more seriously beyond the simple "tsundere cat" tropes. You've all already met Gil Finnegan, who we originally brought into SnaccPop Studios to handle the narrative design for DachaBo but was then onboarded to help with Sunny Day Jack, and those of you in the Patreon Discord server are familiar with our mods Tobias and Jude; along with me and Soren Viloria, that brought the grand total of openly trans masculine members on the team.

We all talked about our personal experiences as trans masc/AFAB people, what things we rarely saw reflected in both mainstream and indie media, things we wanted to see more of. Something we all agreed that was difficult to find was trans masculine folks in sexually dominant roles in erotic media, whether that was live video, audio, writing, art, or a combination thereof; there was only a handful of series we could count on our fingers as far as sexually explicit content that featured trans masculine people in roles that weren't exclusively submissive/bottoms, and the majority of us had already seen those or at least heard of them before (ie. Gummy and the Doctor and Sasha From The Gym were prominent ones). Either discovering this content was difficult due to Search Engine Optimization favoring depictions of trans feminine folks, or it simply didn't exist.

All of this, along with the backstory that Sauce had for Simoun, led us to determine that Simoun would be adverse to submissive roles in intimate situations. Simoun isn't the type to want to be penetrated either due to previous trauma surrounding his gender. Bear in mind that this isn't meant to imply or suggest that there is only one "acceptable" sexual preference for trans masculine folks, nor is Simoun meant to represent all of trans masculinity; he may be our first trans masculine character but certainly isn't the last, as we hope to feature more types of characters at SnaccPop Studios.

As an aside, it should be noted that the trend of erotic trans feminine content being more readily available doesn't necessarily mean that trans women have more positive representation per se; for every kinky piece of art created by trans feminine folks out there, there could be ten more works that fetishize and objectify their bodies. We probably don't need to tell you about the common derogatory slurs that have been used to refer to them; trans feminine and trans masculine people deal with varying levels and types of transphobia as well as situations that oversexualize (or even undersexualize) them, and it's important to focus on content that doesn't strip them of their autonomy.

There actually was a period of time between the release of his concept art after Soren was onboarded where the team observed comments both on Patreon and in the Discord regarding Simoun, and we discussed how we could avoid having people try to ship Bo and Simoun together; because Simoun hasn't had bottom surgery of any kind, we wanted to ensure that tokophobia (fear of pregnancy) or dysphoria wouldn't become a thing for any of us involved in the team or for our trans masculine Patrons. It was a bit of a chicken or the egg situation, trying to keep up with the evolving comments about Simoun to try and anticipate what people might accidentally say.

Debut Day Thoughts, & Moving Forward

We were quite happy with the general reception everyone had with Simoun, and we're excited to see so many people taking a liking to Simoun after his reveal. SnaccPop Studios has always strived to provide inclusive and diverse stories for those who don't often get represented in media, much less NSFW media, and the team was quite elated to see folks who were just as happy to see Simoun.

We hope that the love and care we put into building Simoun has shone through in this post and will continue to shine as we write more of him for DachaBo, because we're just getting started.

[harumasa-wifey]

Heard you wanted to talk about Asaba Harumasa, here I am! He's my second favorite character in the game after Billy Kid and I already have some nice headcanons for him, such as him and Corin being childhood friends because they were both in the same hospital (remember Corin had a critical illness that needed a deadly surgery which you can see that she still has the scar in her Mindscape) so I see him as her adopted big brother who gave her her teddy bear. I also headcanon that he takes as much as leaves and sick days as possible just to be able to keep up with his treatments and hospitalisations that probably takes up a lot of his time, I could see him having lived in the hospital for as long as he can remember. One canon fact that I know thanks to one of Yanagi's trust event is that he is the only one who can sing well (apparently) when Section 6 and Section 5 meet up for karaoke, as Soukaku only knows oni songs which aren't in the playlists and Miyabi doesn't know any songs of this era, and Yanagi is a terrible singer, so for that I do hope that we'll see his VA sing a song in one of his character videos that we'll probably get this week since he and Miyabi are coming next week. Also while Yanagi is labeled as the normal one in the group, actually it would be Harumasa, since he is just very lazy and carefree but he is actually more down to earth compared to her, as she seems to have perfect memory and gets work done so well that even a robot would have trouble keeping up with her. I like to headcanon him and Miyabi as the disaster twins for constantly trying to shirk off work and constantly cover one another and help one another and have meetings about how to dodge their responsabilities in the office more often. Harumasa gives her ideas in how to skip section heads meetings and Miyabi is fine with him taking his sick leaves and doing his best at not getting any overtime, they get each other so well on that. XD

Oh please he is my favourite character now! I dropped playing the game on the first version because it got tiresome to me BUT when I saw leaks of him in the new quest (event special) I knew i needed this man now i don't have a single 5 in the game he will be my first and last i am definitely pulling for him don't matter if I get him free his w- engine LITERALLY CONTAINS MEDICINE he makes me wanna cry why did they do this to my man. I thought he was just a little silly guess he is more than that. I DID NOT KNOW THAT ABOUT CORIN I LITERALLY MAIN HER WTF guess i need to more deep search thank you for the info tho AND BIG BROTHER HARU THAT GUY IS A SOFTIE. He Gotta keep with all those medical reports and medicine literally he was a child i am not sure if they experimented on him or it was an accident but oh boy if they experimented on him hoyo is up for some serious talk. I REALLY WANNA HEAR HIM SING NOW. Gotta manifest his va singing fr. Yanagi is extraordinary to me she is literally so smart and holy crap she memorized that whole manual in such a short time yep she is anything but normal. While soukaku is busy thinking about snacks and miyabi and harumasa finding new ways to skip work yanagi almost manages everything including their leaves which oh boy it sounds tiresome yet she looks balanced doing all that shit. I love my lazy and carefree boy he could have been more normal if all that didn't happen. I genuinely didn't see this coming it broke my heart seeing his child self wrapped in all those endless wires and kept in confinement. The disaster partners!! Yess! Can definitely imagine them skipping meetings and paper work the only paper miyabi needs signed is her will by her gf (yanagi) it almost as anytime yanagi does something fascinating she has her will paper out with a pen "sgin this (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)" like calm down girl y'all can get this signed in your marriage. Like i just finished the special mission and oh boy i wanna kiss harumasa so bad i typed his name so many times even my keyboard knows it now 😭. HIS LITTLE BANGBOO IS SOOO CUTE I WANNA HOLD HIM SO BADD. Thank you so much for indulging me in this i wanted to talk about it so badly.

[lucy90712]

morning cuddles with João Felix?

A/n: this is short but I think it’s cute

WC: 1.2k Life recently has been so chaotic I have been doing so much overtime at work to finish a big project which thankfully is finally done. Joao has been really busy too with the crazy schedule of games at the start of the new season. We have been able to spend a bit of time together but it has mostly been meeting for dinner somewhere when we both have a few hours free. Don't get me wrong I love having dinner dates with Joao but what I've really been craving is just sitting at home and doing nothing with him as I know we are both so exhausted. Joao has a few days off this week as the team don't have a game for a little while but the last few days I've still had work so we still haven't seen much of each other although he has made dinner every night. I've been a little jealous of him having time off as I haven't truly had a day off in ages but finally I can actually take the weekend off after finishing my project. 

Knowing I'd have the weekend off I've been really looking forward to not being woken up by an alarm and getting to sleep in. Typically I woke up at the time my alarm would go off even though I hadn't set it my body is so used to the routine that I naturally woke up way too early for my liking. As I was about to turn over and go back to sleep I felt Joao's arm move from where it was rested around my waist up to my face where he gently stroked my cheek and moved some of my hair that had gone astray over night. I turned to face him just as he opened his eyes slightly although I could tell he was still a little delirious as he kept blinking to clear his vision. 

"What are you doing awake you should be sleeping in" Joao said in his morning voice 

"I just woke up my body is so used to getting up at this time I just woke up naturally" I said 

"Well let's go back to sleep you deserve it plus I want to cuddle with you for once" he said 

"I can't say not to more sleep and cuddles" I smiled 

Joao was quick to pull me as close as humanly possible and wrap his arms around me so tightly I nearly couldn't breathe. Some people would hate to cuddle like that but I love to have Joao as close as possible as we have to be apart quite often so having him close it me always feels so comforting. My head nuzzled itself into Joao's neck as it was comfy and I found myself playing the the hair on the back of his neck and head which was so soft and slightly wavy from where he'd slept on it. He gently traced shapes on my side until my eyes started to feel heavy and I drifted back off to sleep.

I was sleeping peacefully until I felt something wet all over my face in my sleep which woke me up. For a second I wondered if Floki had made his way into our bedroom but then I decided that it couldn't be as he always runs about and stands on me on in the mornings and there wasn't enough noise either. As my eyes opened I was met with Joao's face right in front of mine pressing a kiss on my nose. Once he realised that I was awake he got more aggressive with his kisses all over my face which made me giggle but then he started tickling me instead which made me laugh even harder. He knows exactly where I'm the most ticklish so of course he had to focus on those spots and tickle me until I was gasping for air. Eventually he did stop and when he did he flopped down on top of me so I used my chance to tickle him as although he says he's not ticklish he definitely is. 

Once we had both stopped our assaults on each other we just laid down together with Joao resting on top of me while I played with his hair. Playing with Joao's hair is one of my favourite past times I love running my hands through it and scratching his head sometimes I put his hair up in different styles too but he often complains that it hurts when I do that. This morning I couldn't resist braiding the few stray strands of Joao's hair; for once he actually let me as he was too distracted playing with the edge of his shirt that I wore to bed. 

"I don't ever want to move from this position" Joao said 

"I'm happy to stay here for the rest of the day" I said

"Good because you're not going anywhere" he laughed holding me tighter 

"What do you think our lives will be like in 5 years?" Joao randomly asked 

"I don't know so much has changed over the last year that I would've never predicted but I'd like for us to have settled somewhere" I said 

"I hope we stay here I really love it here the city and the team are so great but whatever happens as long as you're with me I know everything will be ok" he said 

"What do you think our relationship will be like then?" I asked 

"I'd love for us to be married and thinking about starting a family but that's only if that's what you want" he said 

"I'd love to get married and have kids with you one day when the time is right" I said so he didn't get any ides just yet 

"I'll wait as long as you need amor until then we can just practice" he said 

That earned Joao a slap on the back of the head but he just laughed and continued to talk about life. We discussed loads of things like my ideal proposal, how our wedding would be and how many kids we would like. It was fun talking about the future with Joao, although we've talked about all of this before that was before all of the changes to our lives and things are different now plus we are older so it's good to know we are still on the same page. After talking about all of those serious topics we moved on to talking about what we are going to do with the rest of today and tomorrow as those are the only days we both have off. Both of us wanted at least one lazy day so we decided seeing as we'd spent a while in bed already today would be our day to relax. 

After a while of cuddling together watching tv Joao randomly got out of bed and went downstairs. I wondered where he had gone and why until he came back upstairs holding a tray of pastries and two plates. He had ordered breakfast for us from my favourite bakery in town which we both very much enjoyed in bed. When we were done we went right back to cuddling. I think this has been my favourite day in a long time as I've missed spending time with Joao so getting to do nothing but soak up the cuddles I've missed out on is exactly what I've been craving. 

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

Hiii! I've discovered your account recently and you can definitely count me as one of your fans! Also I've never saw someone write for book bfs before so that's cool of you to do it ! I really don't know if you take requests but if u don't it's ok! but if you do can I have an Kenjix reader where she's a trained spy with no powers and Aaron send her on a mission with Kenji where she hates him at first but then she gets to know him and fall for him ? (Maybe w/o spoilers for books after ignite me)

how you get the girl

kenji kishimoto x fem!reader

you were never fond of the newest recruit, but after being assigned on a mission with him, your perspective might just change.

a/n: ty for the request!! been wanting to write for kenji, but struggled with a concept, so this is a great idea !! this is more an au thing, not based on a certain timeline in the series, so it should be spoiler free !! there also a hunger games reference in this bc i can't help myself. extra note: thank you for being so patient i had to go on n unexpected hiatus because i got sick then a bunch of stuff in my life is happening right now, so it was hard to write. but i have finally have time again somewhat and i want to get inspo to write <3

word count: 6.8k

warnings: really bad corny pick-up lines, kinda bad description of action LOL, mentions of injuries and blood, take a shot every time reader rolls her eyes

your home lied within the reestablishment for as long as you could remember. your father had stood behind the idea since it first became conceived. 

before the reestablishment came along, your family lived in the trenches of poverty. living in a one-bedroom apartment in the unsafest part of the city. most lived the same since the world was slowly deteriorating — counties went hungry, climate change affected natural resources, and the grasp of government control slipped away. it seemed like the end of the world for some, but you were too young to say for sure. 

your mother came down with an illness when you were around three. it was unsure of what it was, but it damaged her greatly and fatally. your father attempted to gather the money to see a doctor, pawning items, stealing money, and even asking the government for assistance, but it all became futile. your mother ended up passing a few months later. 

your father’s grief and rage at society drove him toward the direction of the reestablishment. they had already been around quite some time, but no one ever took it seriously - another political group with empty promises, they called it. but your father had faith in their potential, he had to, now that he wanted to ensure a better future for yourself. so, he offered his undying loyalty to the group, and they took an interest in that and offered him a low level job. 

within years, he worked his way up in power, helped enhance the reestablishment’s control over the world, and soon they were the sole government. many resisted, but the majority resided their fate to them because how much worse could the world get? 

overtime, the distant memories of the old world faded and were forgotten by many, including yourself. all you knew and lived was reestablishment life. books, movies, devices, or anything pertaining to before reestablishment life was discarded. you were too young to even remember most of those things. so, unlike others, you never felt like you missed out on anything. 

you were trained to be a soldier since practically diapers. the rebellion against the reestablishment was prominent during its early years, so your father ensured you could defend yourself properly if the worse were to come. with your agility and stealth, you were recruited to be a spy for them, infiltrating other bases and spying on the rebellion. 

your father now works closely with supreme commander anderson at the capital, but you’ve designated yourself to sector 45, along with warner. he recognized your talent the moment he met you and employed you to his sector. that was how it became your current home. 

your father was more than thrilled you impressed the commander’s son, telling you it was important to have their favor. ever since, he’d push the idea of you two, repeating that if you played your cards right, you could become the future supreme commander’s wife. 

you felt nauseous at the idea. you would never want to be a second in command helping run a country, much less marry the person who does. 

“hey! warner’s calling you into his office.” a voice called out to you. 

you snapped out of your daydream, remembering your current location. you stood in the training room, gloves on, practicing your punches onto one of the many punching bags. you tended to zone as as you got more into your workout. 

you turned around to face the soldier who had come in for the purpose of recalling a message, “thank you, tell him i will be there immediately.”  he gave a curt nod and headed out. 

you sighed, you were sure you were about to be sent on another mission to gather data. and normally, you would’ve been up for it, dying to put your skills to use. but lately, it seems the passion has disappeared. it was getting too repetitive for your liking, and you feared the rest of your life would play out the same.  

you gathered your belongings, stuffing your water bottle and gloves back into your gym bag, and replaced your sweaty black shirt with a plain gray one. 

you procrastinated as much as possible on the way to warner’s office. you are in no rush to head back out into the field or hear warners endless instructions on the mission. for once, you envied the low ranked soldiers. warner never expected much of them, so they were often overlooked and free to do as (possibly) pleased. you were expected to be no less than perfect. 

you took a deep breath before knocking on the office door. once warner granted permission, you entered the room, and the first thing you noticed was another person was already there — one you recognized to be one of warner's many men, kenji kishimoto.  

‘this is already off to a bad start,’ you told yourself. kenji was fairly new to the unit, joining a bit over a year ago. you never saw him much because of how busy you are, but due to his poor performance, warner had assigned you to train him for a week. 

it hadn’t been your first time training a soldier, so you were prepared to follow a routine and help him get the hang of basics. but you quickly learned kenji was going to be a pain in your ass.  

first, he was half an hour late to your training, wasting time you could’ve used for your own personal agenda. then, when he showed up, he acted nonchalantly about it. you decided to brush it off and just get the training over with than argue and waste more time. but as training commenced, he started acting condescending towards you. asking if you were sure what you were doing and whether you were the most qualified person to be instructing him. again, you ignored him and remained professional — trying your best to just finish off the lesson without any hassle.

the final straw for you came when you asked him to throw a punch to examine his form and offer critiques. to this responded, “are you sure about that? wouldn’t want to hurt you, sweetheart.” he said haughtily. you just about had it by then. 

in a quick movement, you threw a punch to his face, twisted his arm, and flipped him onto the mats. “sorry, did i hurt you sweetheart?” you asked in a condescendingly sweet tone. all kenji does is groan in response. 

after, you just stormed off and informed warner he would no longer be in charge of his training. you offered him no explanation and simply walked out of his office. if you hadn’t been so upset, you would’ve slapped yourself for being so careless in front of the commander's son. but fortunate to you, warner had no objections and simply tasked someone else to teach kenji.

however, that wasn’t even the end of your meeting. despite you bruising his face, kenji started to follow you like a puppy. you suddenly would run into him at least once a day. you swore he had to be somehow following you, and pretending it was a coincidence the two of you ran into each other. despite your expertise in the art of spying, you were never able to catch him in the act. you could sometimes feel a pair of eyes on you, but when you turned around, there was no one there. 

you told him many times to leave you alone, but that only seemed to intrigue him more. he went from condescending to flirting with you. you weren’t sure which one was worse. you were starting to think the latter because of his awful pickup lines.  

“do you have a name, or can i just call you mine?”

“oh god, i’m gonna throw up.”

“i’m going for a walk, would you mind holding my hand?”

“if you get your hand near me, it’s getting cut off.”

“i love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“do you travel through time? because i’ve pictured you in my future.”

“you’re not going to have a future, if you utter another word.”

“let me be the flynn rider to your rapunzel.”

“one, shut up. two, who are they?”

“what! you don’t know the amazing film that is tangled?”

“never mind, forget, i asked..”

no matter your reply, he never seems to get the hint. no, scratch that, he definitely got the hint he just simply did not care. this guy could be hit with a tank, and you were convinced he’d still have some stupid line to say to you. 

back to your current predicament, you were unsure why warner would call for kenji as well. you were hoping they were just finishing up a conversation, and you happened to be a bit early. which you kinda doubted because you had taken as long as you possibly could to get to this room.

you walked up to warner’s desk, “you called for me sir?” you questioned. the sooner you got your task, the sooner you can get away from the man next to you. 

kenji turns his attention toward you, unfortunately for you, “hey gorgeous, funny seeing you around here.” he says with a stupid smirk accompanying. 

“not really.” you spoke bluntly. 

before he can speak any more, dumb words, warner clears his throat indicating he is about to speak. “yes i did, and as you can see, i also called kishimoto here because I wanted to speak to the both of you.” 

oh no. you weren’t liking where this was going so far, especially since this is an issue needing both of your presence in the room. you prayed he wasn’t about to assign you to train with kenji again. you lucked out last time, but there is no way you would be able to again decline in a way that wouldn’t defy warner. you remained stoic and nod to his words, waiting in suspense for his instructions.  

“oh please go on, i’m intrigued.” kenji inquires. warner pays no mind him, nice to see you’re not the only one who does that. 

“the reason for that is, i am in need of both of you for a mission in favor of the reestablishment.” he explains, folding his hands together neatly on his wooden desk.  

technically, your prayer was granted; you didn’t need to train kenji. no, instead you had to go & work with him on a mission. ‘that’s why they say be careful what you wish for.’

you couldn’t protest and say absolutely not, or you just look like a child throwing a tantrum. it took a good portion of your self-control to keep that apathetic look on your face. but even then, your left eye reflexively twitched in irritation. 

“no disrespect to your order sir, but why is kishimoto needed? i can handle myself quite well if you didn’t already know.” you try to reason. 

“are you that nervous to be with me?” kenji interrupts smugly. you can’t help but stomp on his foot, even if it is a bit childish, your face neutral, not even sparring a look his way. 

kenji yelps in pain, but still remarks, “nice to see your love language has switched from verbal threats to physical violence.” 

warner, unbothered by your actions, replies, “i’m well aware of your capabilities l/n. but this task is a bit more dire than your usual requests. i’d prefer if you had a helping hand. plus, kishimoto still needs practice in the field and there’s no better example to follow than you.”

“thank you sir, for the compliment, but-“ 

“is that an objection to an order, l/n?” warner challenged you, raising a brow. you knew that was the end of it. as much as you didn’t like kenji, it wasn’t an issue worth being on warner’s bad side for. 

“no,” you stated defensively, “of course not, sir, i am ready to serve the reestablishment as needed,” you restate your loyalty, but these days it felt like empty words. 

“i, for one, have no issue with this request sir. i’m more than willingly to go along with y/n on this secret mission.” kenji proclaims with a gleeful smile. 

“great, because the both of you will be departing tomorrow morning.” warner informed, leaning back into his seat. “that will be all,” he dismissed with a wave of a hand. 

kenji and you both respectively nodded and turned your backs to walk away and exit his office. once you’re in the hall, your cool demeanor vanquishes and is replaced with a distasteful look. you simply couldn’t believe this was happening. you got partnered with the guy who you heard already had 19 demerits. surely, the world was punishing you.

opposite to you, kenji stood there with a sneaky smile, obviously enjoying how today’s events played out. it only annoyed you further. 

“well, well, well,” he begins, “i guess we’ll be spending quite a bit of time with each other. you never know how long these missions take perhaps will be stuck teach with each other for a whole month. wouldn’t that just be exciting?” kenji teases, draping an arm over your tense shoulders. 

you rolled your eyes and roughly pushed his arm off of you, “this operation is solely for professional purposes, kishimoto. we’ll be in and out then come back and relay information. then i go back to ignoring you.” you don’t bother to wait for a reply and start the walk to your living, quarters to prepare for your departure.

“i’ll grow on you eventually y/n!” he hollers at you as you venture further down the hall. 

-

you dreaded the events to come the moment you opened your eyes to woke up.

a part of you had hoped your talk with warner yesterday had been a nightmare, but as soon as you saw your packed bag on your dresser, you knew it was your reality. 

you hopped in the shower for a quick wash, braided your hair, and suited up in all black attire. you slip your bag over your shoulder and reluctantly walk out your room. from there, you made your way to the weaponry.

at the weaponry, you didn’t see kenji’s face; you had hope there was still a possibility he would not end up going along with you, and he would either be replaced, or you be left to your own devices. you started supplying weapons into your bags and filling the holsters strapped on your body. 

“can’t believe you already started without me, angel.” you hear a voice announce from behind you. 

you groaned, apparently, it was too much to ask to wish him away. he reminded you of a small insect that just refused to die no matter how many times you stepped on it with your foot. 

he doesn’t miss a beat, moving to the spot next to you, “don’t sound too excited, or else i’d start to think you like me,” kenji playfully remarks. 

you scoff, “only in your wildest dreams.”

“right you are.” you grimace at his reply. 

“can you just hurry up? the sooner we set off the better.” you urge him. 

he doesn’t deter from his smugness at your fierce attitude, “if you were so eager to be alone with me, you should’ve just told me, would’ve saved us a lot of trouble.” 

you groaned, already sick of being around him. how were you supposed to do this for a day, or even more? “you have five minutes or swear to god i’m leaving without you.” you promised on your way out. 

-

you made good of your word, and waited by the plane for approximately five minutes (you even counted down the seconds in your head). warner assigned a plane for the both of you, with its own pilot, to take you to your destination. 

you wait until the last second before you board the small plane to inform the pilot to prepare for take off. not even a minute later, you hear the movement of footsteps rushing towards the vehicle. you try to conceal your look of disappointment when you see it, kenji coming toward you.

you step down the plane to coldly greet him, “you’re lucky you made it, i was prepared to about to leave without you,” you tell kenji seriously. “i suppose i can always just push you off the plane one we take off to rid of you,” you nonchalantly suggest. 

he just laughs in response, thinking there’s no way you would actually take off without him, his laughter silences down when you offer no humor in your tone, nor your face. “you are just kidding right?”

you remain silent, and turn your back to board the plane. 

“..right?” he calls at you, a hint of worry in his tone. the corner of your lip tugs up in amusement as you walk off.

-

“wow, this spy stuff is quite boring.” kenji complains aloud. “how are you ever entertained doing this on your own? thank goodness you have me around now. perhaps we can even be some sort of duo, we can even have a cool name - the terrific two? nah. the dangerous duo? eh. oh wait, i’ve got it! mr. and mrs. smith-“

“will you shut up!” you turn your head away to snap at him. you were ready to lose your mind with his absurd commentary for the past hour.

the two of you stationed yourselves on top of a tall building’s rooftop hiding from plain view & your target’s sight. your current target was a supreme commander of another country, one that had indirectly expressed his indifference toward warner, but remained loyal to reestablishment principles. warner believes it’s possible he may have a hidden agenda concerning the reestablishment, and just to be sure, he tasked you to report his activity. 

your mission wasn’t anything complicated, the majority of it consisted of keeping vigilant watch and reporting anything of utter importance. the two of you used your binoculars to spy on the commander and his men from above. but you understood why warner had wanted someone to accompany you. there were almost 3 times as many men than what you were used to on your operations. but you weren’t going to admit this to the person next to you.

kenji nods, “you’re right we should skip the mindless comments and instead get to know each other. after all, i’d be real awkward if i didn’t even know fun facts about my future girlfriend,” he makes a hand gesture toward you at the end of his words.  

“first off, never going to be your girlfriend. second, this isn’t a date; we’re on a stakeout collecting information.” you reiterate. 

“come on,” kenji complains, “these guys have done nothing for the past 2 hours. the only criminal thing that is worth mentioning is that the commander does not pull off purple .” 

you scoffed, annoyed, but you couldn’t say he was completely lying. it has been kind of a slow night. the commander stood by his post, watching the soldiers pack shipments meant for other countries & sectors, including sector 45. whenever the supreme commander would leave, either kenji or you would tail him, but it was also a dead end. he either needed to use the bathroom or go to his office to retrieve something. a part of you was starting to wonder why warner would think of this man as suspicious when he seemed as bland as the color beige. it was quite offensive to your spy expertise to be sent on such a mundane mission.

you sigh in defeat, “fine,” you turn to face kenji, “if it gets you to shut up. what do you wanna know?”

kenji places his hand over his chest, making a face of disbelief. “wow, i’ve finally done it, i’ve cracked you. it’s only a matter of time now before you actually start enjoying my presence like most of the female population.” 

“i’m this close to pushing you off the ledge right now.” you exclaim, pinching your index and thumb very close as a demonstration. 

“well, if we’re gonna be working together,” 

he starts, ignoring your threat, “we’ve got to learn more about eachother - you know ,like the deep stuff.” 

“the deep stuff?” you repeat suspiciously. 

“yeah, like, what’s your favorite color?” 

you turn away dramatically, “well, now you’ve just crossed the line,” you say in a light tone. 

he shakes his head, “seriously, what’s your favorite color?”

“hm,” you ponder on it for a second before answering, “i like yellow.” 

“yellow?” he repeats, unsure of whether to believe you. “you’re telling me, the spy who is always seen in all black’s favorite color is yellow?” he speaks as if the concept is foreign to him.

you roll your eyes for the millionth time tonight, “i wear all black because i’m working, not by personal choice. my wardrobe is actually full of colorful choices.” you admit. 

kenji smirks, “so, what color are you wearing underne-“

“anyway,” your speak over him, cutting him off. “what’s your favorite color?” you ask to change focus. 

“purple. and not like the purple that supreme commander looks horrendous in,” you hold back a smile at the insult, “more like the shade of purple rapunzel’s dress is.”

you tilt your head, “who’s rapunzel, is she a friend of yours?” 

his eyes narrow at you, “a friend of min- she’s only one of the greatest heroines in the disney film history!” he exclaims. 

“what about your knee?”

“you can’t be serious-“

that was when you heard it, voices speaking in rushed and commanding tones, getting louder and louder to the point you were able to make out the words without your listening equipment. you recognized one of them - the supreme commander.

“shoot them!” he shouted at the soldiers. 

you’d been spotted. and now they were going to start firing. 

“kenji get down!” 

“what-“

you didn’t wait for him to understand and instinctively jumped onto kenji’s body to bring him down to the ground and avoid him from getting shot.

due to your heroic act, you were unfortunately caught by a bullet and shot in your left arm. you’ve been shot before, but it didn’t suck any less. luckily, the adrenaline coursing through you helped subdue the pain for now, but you know it’s only a matter of time before you were withering in discomfort. 

“shit!” kenji cursed in reaction to the many gunshots shooting at you both. you both are currently protected by the small four feet ledge from the building you were grounded on.

“how did they even spot us?“ kenji hollers so you could him him over the flux of bullets. 

“i don’t know, but there’s no time for explanations. this ledge won’t protect us for long we have to find a way out of here without being noticed.“ 

you had a lurking suspicion the commander was given a heads-up on the arrival of two spies. however, it wasn’t a time to investigate that. 

 kenji began to move from beneath you so he could somewhat sit himself up, still avoiding being hit. his movement caused you to unintentionally hiss in pain when he rubbed against your injured arm; that is when kenji took notice of your wound. 

he gently grabbed it for further inspection, blood oozing from the hole of the bullet plunged into your arm. returns his gaze to you. his eyes showing worry, “you’re injured. why didn’t you say anything?” he questions you gently. 

he then swiftly untucked his long sleeve shirt for machines and ripped a piece of it from the bottom. then he began to wrap it around your injury and tie it to give it pressure to lessen the bleeding. 

“didn’t think there was time, you know, with hundreds of bullets coming our way.”

kenji rolls his eyes. you speak up again before he has a chance to counter, “ok, we seriously need to focus on our plan of action right now. we are way too outnumbered to strike back.” 

kenjis nods and looks down in concentration of convincing a plan, and you do the same. you both could maneuver your way down towards the way you came in, but no doubt the commander's men have already begun to circle around the entire establishment. you both could sprint quick enough and jump onto the neighboring building, but it would require some climbing. and with your current left arm in bad shape, could be almost impossible for you to climb a building with one arm, no matter the skill acquired in your training. 

do you have to make a decision quick, so you went with the most logical one. “kenji,” you call his attention, and he looks up from his spot, “i have a plan. but..you’re going to have to go without me.” 

kenji’s face shifted from concern to confusion.  “i don’t understand..” 

you briefly explained the small plan you concocted, “with my with my injury , it’s clear i can’t do it. so, it’s better that you go on and-“

kenji doesn’t let you finish. “no. no. that’s not an option.” he protests. 

“you have t-“

his hand is covering your mouth in a second, “it’s out of the question. don’t go saying that stupid shit again, got it?“ he sternly tells you, looking you in the eye intensely. 

you’ve never had someone be so adamant about leaving you behind. if it had been anyone else with you, they would’ve up and left the moment you suggested it. a warm feeling tingled in your stomach at the thought to kenji caring about you so much. 

you’re quite stunned at his assertiveness, so you nod quietly - which is highly out of character for you.

once he knows you understand, he removes his hand from your face, sighing as he does so. “i have a way for us to get out of here unnoticed and safely,” kenji admits. you pique up, intrigued by how he has a better solution, and motion for him to continue. “but you’re really going to have to trust me for this to work, ok?” he says more like a statement than a question.

“ok.” you agree. 

while you may not have known kenji too long or even liked him much before tonight, he wasn’t incompetent, mostly, you had enough faith in him to believe he wouldn’t intentionally put you both in harm's way. 

kenji takes a deep breath in, and you can tell to ease his nerves. it bubbles up your curiosity more. it must be something quite grand for him to be nervous to do. but then again, it had to be something quite out of the box if it weren’t a plan you could’ve conceived.

“i’m going to grab your hand, and then i’m gonna need you to do your best to not freak out.” kenji instructs carefully to you. 

now you were getting anxious; what could possibly make you freak out? generally weren’t the type to scare easily, and you’re sure kenji knew this. but you truly had no other option unless you wanted to be stranded here. the sound of gunfire served over to reminder of your limited time. 

you nod in confirmation and hold out your right hand in permission for him to grab. kenji takes a second before he latches his hand into yours. 

for a moment, you’re confused. nothing seems to be happening. part of you thought he was going to continue with your plan, but forcibly drag you along with him. you turn your attention toward the other side to check if you were supposed to see something. but again, saw nothing of significance. 

you begin to scowl, “kenji is this a joke-“

but when you turn to see kenji, no one is there. right away, you assume he left you and did everything prior as some twisted joke. you were ready to get angry, but then you felt the pressure on your palm. you were still holding his hand. 

you looked around again and saw no sign of kenji besides his hand in yours. your confusion was deepening at this point, and you were beginning to think you passed out after being shot and were currently dreaming. you looked down at your interlocked hands, but you didn’t see your hands either. your eyes then moved over to your own body, but again - nothing.

you gasp, “what the hell?”

you instantly panic, not understanding what is happening. you move your body in the hope it would make it visible again, but failed. you try to free your hand from kenji’s, but he firmly keeps it gripped. 

“hey, it’s alright, i’m here. calm down.” you hear kenji finally speak from next to you. you feel his thumb rub over the top of your hand in an attempt to soothe you. 

you ignore him and attempt to make a list of possible nonsense that would explain the situation. “are we dead?” 

“no! just invisible.” he states calmly as if the whole situation were normal. he stands up, forcing you to do the same. he begins to build up a run toward the side of the building. you can’t see either of your bodies, so you do your best to keep up without tripping. 

“invisible?” you repeat, “how are we invisible?” it sounded ridiculous saying it aloud, but it was the only “reasonable” explanation for what was happening. 

“uh, let’s just say i have a certain skill set.” he says in a rushed tone. you couldn’t tell if it was because he wanted to avoid answering or focus on the task at hand. maybe both. 

“that doesn’t explain anything!” you say, waving your other arm around, although you both are unable to see it. 

now having reached the side of the building you entered from, you see the ladder that led you both up. kenji wastes no time on stepping down first. you can’t see his movement but can feel yourself being tugged and the sound of his boots hitting the metal. 

you follow, continuing to hold his hand as he leads you both down the ladder of the building. “as you mentioned over and over before, there’s no time for explanations. you just focus on getting down this ladder.” 

you did as he said (for once) and continued stepping down, with one hand on the rail, in silence. for once in your life, you were speechless.

you both successfully evaded the commander and his soldiers. the invisibility had proven to be true because you walked past them like it was nothing, as they still shot to where they assumed the two of you were still positioned. 

there were no words exchanged on the way back to the plane. kenji took the initiative to inform the pilot of your coordinates, so the two of you could be picked up. you felt foolish for being so unprofessional, but you finally evading the danger, your state of shock was brought back. 

when the plane finally landed down, kenji had finally returned both of your visible states and then released your hand. you could feel the sweat on it from holding on so long, but you were still reeling in from events to notice or care.

both of you moved to board the plane. 

if you hadn’t faced some blood loss and felt incredible fatigue, you would’ve hounded kenji for answers on your way back to sector 47. but as soon as you sat down on a seat, you were out like a light. 

-

the next time you open your eyes, all you could see was white. the ceiling lights temporarily blinded you, making it hard to see your surroundings at first. 

you groaned from disorientation and the blinding light. you turn to the sense of touch and understand you are lying on a bed. your vision settled, and you were able to vaguely recognize your surrounding. the long windows, medical supplies, other white-sheeted beds neighboring, faint smell of disinfectant — you were in the medical wing in sector 45.

you knew it was the infirmary from your sector because of the large indentation on the wall from a mishap of yours a few years prior, one of the few times you actually went to a trained nurse instead of mending to yourself. long story short, the nurses really should have de-weaponized you before attempting to wake you up after you’d passed out. 

now knowing you were in a dangerous environment, you slowly began to sit up. you used one hand to stable yourself since the other was put into a cast. the aching you were trying to put off the whole mission came in full force. 

you looked down at your attire; your first layers of clothes covered in grime and blood were removed. now you were only left in your black shorts and tank top. 

not even a moment later, you hear the sounding of the your door opening. 

“well finally you’re awake!” a voice says, “thought i’d need to wake you up with true love’s kiss.” 

kenji walks up to your bedside, his sly smile never faltering until he takes a glance at your injured arm. 

he peers down at your face. he takes a hand and moves a strand of hair behind your ear. your stomach warms at the feeling of his faint touch on the side of your face.  

“i thought i’d lost you for a second there, sleeping beauty.” kenji says in a gentle tone. 

another reference of his you didn’t understand, but you chose to focus on his other words instead.

you tilt your sore neck, which you regret,  in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“you were asleep the whole flight, and when we landed, i tried to wake you, but you wouldn’t stir. i knew something was wrong. my assumption was proven correct because when i examined your arm, your blood loss was almost severe. after that, i just rushed to get here.” kenji explains, his tone a bit somber. you fight the urge to hold his hold and comfort him, then chide yourself for thinking so something so intimate involving kenji. 

guess you probably should’ve checked your arm when you boarded the plane. somehow, your bloody arm had gone from the first to the last thing on your mind during the operation. 

“and now your facing my dashingly handsome face.” he cockily adds in. 

there it is. you don’t even snarkily counter back. for once, you just smile in response. you give in to your urges and grab onto his hand, giving it a soft squeeze, “thank you kenji. seriously, i know we started on the wrong foot, but i’m very grateful to you.” you say sincerely. 

kenji squeezes your hand in return, “to be fair, you’re the one who’s made your distaste toward me very clear while all i did was confess my undying love to you.” he corrects with a pout. he places a hand over his heart in fake pain. 

your mouth gapes, “what? you’re the one who not only showed up late, but acted like a total douche the first time we met.” 

kenji laughs at this sheepishly, “yeah, about that..” he goes to rubs his hand on the side of his neck. 

“what?” you question. “don’t leave me hanging.”

kenji laughs, “that first meeting, i wasn’t actually late.” he starts. 

you shake your head, “yes you were. i waited there for almost half an hour.” 

“i was there fifteen minutes early, waiting by the door. but then i saw you walk past me, not even sparing a glance, and go into the training room.” kenji confesses. 

“then why were you so late?” you interrupt impatiently. you don’t remember seeing him there at all, and if he had been there, why didn’t he just go in straight after you instead of wasting your time. 

“i’m getting there, angel.” kenji taps his index finger on the tip of your nose. you swat his hand and wait for him to go on. 

“after you went in, i was stunned. truly. you were the most gorgeous being i’d ever seen, and you walked around like you didn’t even know it.” 

you smack his arm at his dramatic flattery, “shut up, quit playing around and get to the point.” 

“am i one to lie?” he asks rhetorically. 

you give him a look. “alright, maybe, but it doesn’t make what i said any less true. you are beautiful, and anyone who hasn’t told you that is an idiot.” 

you scoff, turning your head away from kenji. you rather him not see the rising redness on your cheeks. 

luckily kenji continues without comment, “anyway, after i got a hold of myself, i thought, ‘how was a guy supposed to walk in and face this goddess of a person supposed to be his trainer.’ he can’t, so he does the classic guy move, ‘act indifferent to make yourself seem cooler in front of a girl.”

“so you acted like an asshole….on purpose….because you wanted to be cool in front of me?” you repeat slowly, making sure you understood his stupid plan. 

“ok, i get it; it's not my best moment. trust me when i say i realized my mistake as soon as you started kicking my ass like it was nothing. but it actually made me like you more and even turned me on a bit-“

“ok, i think i got it!” you weren’t one to be so easily flushed, but it was hard not to when he was so blunt about affection toward you. even if it was vulgar. 

“after that horrible first meeting, i had to get you to like me.” kenji explains, “so i did my best to use my attractiveness and charming persona to seduce you. but, damn, you wouldn’t even bat an eye at my attempts. that only made me wanna do it more.” 

you cross your arms over your chest, “so what, you like me because i’m pretty and a challenge for you?” you ask with an aloof tone.

“maybe at the start, but now, everything about you has me captivated. your strength and resilience. the way people undermine you, but you don’t let it stop you from proving them wrong. how to most, you’re uptight and cold, but you actually care more than you’d want to admit. i admire that you want to be the best, but not for warner, for yourself.” your eyes begin to soften at kenji as he describes you so passionately. you didn’t realize observant of you he was. 

kenji continues, “hell, even your stubbornness. though, you break my heart a little every time you reject one of my very well thought out pick up lin-“

you don’t wait to hear anymore. abruptly, you sit up and yank him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to your eye level. you’re moving automatically as if in a trance, and your sturdy hand reaches the right side of his face. “shut up.” you say in a rushed whisper. 

then you kiss him. you actually, willingly, lean in and collide your lips with kenji kishimoto. you like it very much too. and there is no better feeling than the way his lips on yours make your heart race and body buzz with warmth and exhilaration. 

everything happened so quick, kenji was frozen in his spot for a good moment - his eyes so wide they could’ve popped out. then, he smoothly regained composure. his face relaxed, now having a giddy grin into the kiss,  and slid a hand to the back of your neck, under your hair, to hold you closer. 

even though the kiss was a heat-of-the-moment decision, the kiss itself wasn’t heated nor rushed. no, it was almost the exact opposite. your lips were tenderly pressed together, heads titled opposite directions so you fit together in sync. 

you move your touch to his covered chest, gripping his plain fitted shirt for dear life, a way to remind yourself that this was all very real. 

you’re the first to pull away; part of you already longing for his touch as you did. you felt dizzy, not in a loss of blood way, but in a weightless feeling way. you couldn’t stop the silly smile etched on your face, nor the flushed look that was likely written all over your face. you couldn’t even find yourself caring about it. 

kenji’s appearance isn’t much different from yours, but his smile is crooked and screams more of satisfaction and a bit of cockiness. “told you i’d eventually win you over.” 

you chuckle and lightly punch kenji’s bicep, shaking your head, “tell anyone, and i’ll deny it.” you threaten in jest. 

you tap your lips with your index finger and look up in mock contemplation, “hm. maybe if you explain how you turned us invisible back there i’ll think about a date.” you remind him. you were still owed a great explanation. 

kenji grins, “is that all it takes? well, then, i’ve got a hell of a story for you.” 

special thank you to @butterflyreads for being so patient and liking my works, hope you enjoy this one <3

[pondering-gales-left-orb]

Sigh rambling about DA2 again nothing has captivated me as this middle child game

Any way

Sebastian Vael

I know alot of people hate him for being the annoying church boy but!!!!

I myself have been put off by his very loud attempts of conversion while just walking around kirkwall, hes all like "fenris,you will feel safe in the makers hand!! take mine and follow me to the light for you shall be delivered!! consider visiting the chantry once and try praying you will feel a peaceful stillness descent upon you" or something and im just like my guy this is a Wendy's... Hawk is literally buying toxins and fire bombs from a shady guy in a room in a shady tavern but ok go off prince

BUT

His story is actually extremely intresting because if you actually listen to him you find out he was sent away literally exiled from his home, his family gave him away because he was a drunken playboy and they didnt want to put int the time love or care he needs of them... They specifically asked for him to be locked in the kirkwall chantry( put like fifteen lines under kirkwall that is important for later) of all places and get the infamous andrastian reform (typical)...

And then you think on how strong his devotion is to the chantry during DA2 and realize that for this 180 drastic change to happen he has been hardcore brainwashed.

then you notice his mother son relationship with Althiena, and realize she probably was the one to reform him taking advantage of his anger and the hole his family left in him when they sent him away by shaping herself to that hole, fitting perfectly as his "found family" to easily manipulate him.

i mentioned "kirkwall chantry of all places" earlier because you have to realize, that with the horrid enslavement going on there, it was all by the approval of the chantry and not just during the events of DA2, but from the start of what was old kirkwall, remember the entire thing was built on slavery and glorified it for so long that they had gold statues made proudly to represent that.

And that were never removed by any of the authorities claiming to be anti slavery and despite things changing in kirkwall overtime.

Note how the kirkwall chantry is old its not a new addition its old and it didn't tear down the slaves Statues in the name of andraste which you would expect from a religion that preaches "Our Andraste died to free slaves!!!"

no it was built next to it, around it even...Elthiena and her elders were raised here, were educated here, were appointed here, and lived in agreement with all of this, rising up to the ranks to continue the cycle while gaslighting people into thinking they are neutral and convincing people that they will pray for this to get solved........

Sending him to kirkwall was not by chance they deliberately choose kirkwall to fully erase him, break him, and replace him with a "good son" without any chance of escape because kirkwall's systematic oppression is so strong in place there is no chance of escaping it unless you do somthing drastic.

Now think back to Sebastian being locked in all of this and getting reformed by these same people and you understand why he is the way he is.

so strong in his devotion with unwavering morals that are like concrete pillars to who he is, who he has become. he never once has any of his beliefs shaken never once thinks about abandoning his vows for love his belief in them is so strong that he welcomes love and embraces it into his beliefs when others think they have to abandoned them to love. he loves hawk understands his desire to enjoy her lovingly but never wavers because of it. He will marry her first and then enjoy her thus satisfying and fullfiling his vows to andraste and himself nothing less nothing more.

BUT, and this is what makes him extremely intresting, as much as he loves Althiena and the kirkwall chantry he is NOT like them, Sebastian is a true believer of the core of andrastism rather than what it has morphed into in modern thedas. (Some people say he believes in Andrastism the same way Devine liliana does and i kinda agree)

Ironically if Sebastian was responsible of kirkwall and its chantry non of this would happen the mages would never have been enslaved the templars would never had to be turned into prison gaurds, they also wouldnt have become monsters as a result of Meridith becoming the first red templar. He would enforce real andrastism and abolish what it has become and ironically people would hate him for it.

putting aside my love for Anders, at that end cutscene he is literally the only correct one he faces down EVERYONE including Hawk and defends both mages and templars by bringing back the focus to the current cause.

He is so baffled by Meridith blaming all mages and by orsino getting lost in the bigger picture of hating templars that he yells at them to try and remind them "your own differences dont matter you both personally dont matter the people who died - who will die, are the ones who matter!!!"

When no one listens he is forced into the same conditions that Anders was forced into (again how ironic but also shows you thatcthere was no other way for this to end but i digress) of using the last resort of threatening violence and invasion (and later in DAI acting on it)

he saw what Anders saw, finally he saw that they both (Meridith and Orsino) are too far gone that they dont see anyone but thier own hate, and you bet your ass if Althiena had survived and was present and started her Spiel about "we must return to the maker and pray" that Anders experienced when he was pleading with her and the devine for 7! Years, Sebastian would also have realized that she is full of shit too. that no one in this chantry actually cares. his faith in HER as his own devine mother would break and he would include her in his threat the same way his faith in HAWK broke (if hawk spares anders) and includes Hawk in his promise of pay back.

Somthing something he spent so long trying to heal from pain and abuse only for him to realize how much he has been lied to and betrayed by the people he trusted, and the religion he gave himself into, that nothing he thought was real was actually real, causing him to fall further into the cycle of Abuse instead of escaping, knowing non of the healing he did as a chantry brother non of his suffring non of his (suddenly realized) abuse under it non of his relationships non of his lived experiences mattered.

Oh Sebastian the tragedy that you are

[darkfictionjude]

I've followed blogs without a demo before and while sometimes it has paid off - I find myself doing it less and less overtime because all too often I go back to a blog 3/4 months later and find it dead with no demo.

That being said in a lot of cases the demos never being finished feels like a cycle of :

*wanting to foster interest and community around your writing* -> *writing an IF is a huge task and it takes longer than expected to learn coding/write a branching narrative/limit story scope to a feasible level* -> *interest dies down because it has been a long time with no demo* -> *low/no interaction on posts ends up feeling demotivating especially when compared to other IF authors so they lose passion for the project*

To compromise, on my part I don't often follow blogs with no demo but if I'm genuinely interested in the story I try to go back to the blog and like/reblog posts or ask questions if there's anything I'm curious about. I definitely think you should write what you want for yourself without necessarily expecting attention - but attention and interaction is always going to feel good regardless.

At the end of the day as an audience member you're never actually 'owed' free content (especially given that its more often then not a passion project) so I have no hard feelings for writers who make demo blogs just to share some fun info about their characters/story and then dip - even if it can feel disappointing.

It 100% feels weird/kind of scammy to have a patreon if you haven't actually written anything though, because you're taking money from people (who often don't have huge amounts in the first place) before they even know if they like your writing/world/story - and before they know if you're capable of actually fulfilling any of the promises you make (which given that IF is generally much longer than a traditional novel is a *massive* promise to make to your audience in exchange for their financial support).

After an author has dropped a demo (even before any/consistent updates) patreon is all good in my book. At that point the audience has a 'sample' of the writing and can use that as a method to judge if they enjoy it. As long as the promised content on the patreon tiers are being fulfilled - you as an audience member are now getting what you've paid for - and can unsubscribe at any point if you no longer wish to keep paying for it.

Yeah I do feel like writers tend to want to work on something that will sell, and why not? It feels good to know your hard work is recognized and appreciated

This is a very nuanced take, I feel that some people even get angry when writers disappear, which yeah I’ve been burned before but like I don’t understand getting pissed when at the end of the day there are more games out there and as you said, no one is owed free content. IF writers are hobbyists, like this is a side thing for most of us it’s a gruelling hobby not only work load wise but also if you unfortunately get anons being mean to you

Yeah I didn’t want to say that but it does feel strange when there’s no work but there’s a Patreon. Because Patreon is just additional writing, it’s meant to be complementary to the main work. People pay for additional writing because they hope it adds to their experience when reading the IF proper.

I mean based on the name it is a modern version of being a painter in Europe during the renaissance and have a richer patron pay you to make art 😭

[mochamoth]

samarina magical girl headcanons?

I have a few headcanons so far and the whole plot is kinda done! Uhh sorry this is a bit of a rant in advance! Feel free to just skip to the headcanons, the order doesn't matter too much (also mild spoilers for the canon gamee!!)

Backstory:

So this takes place sometime in the early 2000s, not modern but also not the canon 1940s time era. The backstories are pretty much the same except the Ninth Circle has an even sharper eye on Samarie. At some point Marina catches Samarie stalking her and gives her a talking to. But, after several apologies and begging from Samarie, Marina decided to get to know her a lil better. They slowly become friends overtime until some plot stuff happens and they die. I don't have a solid idea yet but I was thinking what if the Ninth Circle was more of a lab than a "school". Still a cult but y'know the vibes are a bit different. They catch the two running away and threaten to shoot Marina if she doesn't turn Samarie back in. Marina refuses, they shoot, Samarie takes the shot for her but unfortunately they just shoot Marina anyways afterwards.

Somewhat luckily Samarie was close enough with the Gods to make some sorta deal with Rher specifically (for arguments sake let's pretend in this au Rher is still semi close with humans). Marina and her would be allowed to live and be resurrected, in exchange for.. Well idk yet. I was thinking something to do with Moonscorching. Maybe every night they turn, or every few days, full moon, you know something like that.

So they're brought back to life, but both have MUCH stronger magic. Not only that but Samarie doesn't feel as sick as she used to be. The two later on realize they're stereotypical ✨️magical girls✨️ and fight against "villains" ig. The villains would be actual enemies from the games. Uhh I might add other characters to this au later on, but for now it's just my own little corny ship indulgent au so yeah!

(Sorry for any grammar errors I am tired lol)

Actual Headcanons:

Samarie uses a Star themed staff while Marina uses a Moon themed staff. I just thought it fit their souls aesthetic wise!

Samarie has extremely powerful magic, but is a terrible fighter. She's clumsy, messy, and a nervous wreck. Marina is a bit weaker magic-wise, but is wayy better in combat. She's more confident, focused, and skilled.

I think it'd be funny as shit to make Black Kalev their little sidekick.

They're constantly saving eachother. Usually it's Marina saving Samarie, but if Marina is in danger Samarie fucking kicks ass. She's still a crazy girl after all.

They have more stereotypical sparkly magic cuz.. Well magical girl. But they can still use other canon spells. It's just less convenient.

Their staffs will transform when they do. When they're not in their combat fits the staffs both turn into crystals. Both wear them around their necks like necklaces.

They can't use the gifted magic without the staffs. Basically they're witches in a way.

They do flirt on the battlefield cuz that's romantic imo. It's more Marina flirting and Samarie being a gay mess but that still counts!

In this au they're not dating (yet). Samarie obviously has a massive crush (or obsession) with Marina, and again after becoming friends Marina develops a crush back on her.

This has nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with the au, Samarie has autism. I didn't know where else I'd share that hc so taking my chance rn.

Samarie still isn't used to the outfit change. Especially Marina's outfit (she is a lesbian disaster).

They rest and cuddle together after long battles. It'd be cute okay?

I might add more later (in which case I will post), and yes this is out of character. Sorry abt that. Uhh also I've never seen a magical girl anime. Like ever! I want to. I really wanna watch a few, just haven't gotten around to it.

[sonqgmi-sims]

Part 2 out of my Custom Neighborhood series! You can find my video here! You can view my Neighborhood Templates video here!

Guidelines I follow as well as any helpful links to some name generators will be under the cut! ♥

Starting a new Neighborhood can be tough! Where do you even start? Well, this written guide and video above is here to help you get started!

STEP 1: Creating/Choosing a Template - If you want to start from COMPLETELY SCRATCH, open up SimCity 4 and create your own map! - If that's too difficult or you just don't want to (like me!), you can download maps off ModTheSims or use the ones already provided in-game for you! :)

STEP 2: Naming Your Neighborhood/Lots - Take inspiration from real life! - Generators also help A TONNN! Below I linked the ones I like most! Feel free to mix and match them to come up with more unique combinations!

Fantasy Name Generators (Town Names) Mithril And Mages - City Names Sims 2 Name Generator

STEP 3: Lot Planning - Personally, I like to keep Community Lots/Apartments near the center of the map, and Residential homes around the sides/edges - Decide if you want just Small, Medium and/or Large lots in your neighborhood! - Place them around the map to figure out a layout until you are satisfied!

STEP 4: Choosing Your Community Lots - Main Hood Essentials: Cemetery, Restaurant, Park, Clothing Store, Grocery Store - University Essentials: Library, Town Hall, Lounge, Gym - Shopping District Essentials: Everything you can imagine! I also like to leave space for Sims to own their own businesses! I tend to use Shopping Districts as Secondary-Main Neighborhoods! - Downtown Essentials: Bowling Alley, Bar, Restaurant, Cemetery - Vacation Essentials: Hotels, Parks, Landmarks After I have the essentials, I fill in the gaps with whatever I want! Like I added a Car Dealership in my main neighborhood as well as a Cosmetic Surgery clinic! I also added a Train Station in my University!

The Mithril and Mages link above is great to come up with names and business ideas too!

STEP 5: Decorating Your 'Hood - I do this overtime! I don't think there's ever been a time where I've stopped decorating! Start by placing some trees or the flower decorations around the empty lots you placed!

STEP 6: Neighborhood/Lot Descriptions - Personally the hardest thing about Custom Neighborhoods! The good thing though is these can be left blank and nobody would know! - My best advice is to wait until most of the 'hood is built up, and then come with some descriptions! - Photoshopping the pictures like EA/Maxis will create beautiful pictures for the Neighborhood Stories album! (This is another post for another time)

STEP 7: The Families - Can't have a complete neighborhood without Sims and Families! - Use the Random Aspect Generator to come up with various Personalities for your Sims! - If you forgot to use a Clean Template (No Townies), I found a mod that will change up their names! - Take inspiration from TV Shows or the other Sims games! I always tend to recreate the Broke Family's storyline and Malcolm Landgraab's storyline with 2 families in my neighborhoods! (I like having a Rich and a Poor family lmao)

Creating new neighborhoods is always so much fun! I hope some of these guidelines help you get inspired!

xoxox

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Backstage Story Translation - Tsumugi Tsukioka SSR - Treasure Hunt: TSUMUGI - Part 2

tysm to fuyugumiyuri on twitter for providing a video of the story!

also proofread by myuntachis!

Tsumugi: Whew…

[Door opening]

Chikage: I’m home.

Tsumugi: Oh, Chikage-san. Welcome back.

Chikage: Did you just get home too, Tsumugi?

Tsumugi: Yes, I was at a social gathering for my part-time job. You were a little late too, Chikage-san.

Chikage: I had a bit of overtime to do. It took longer than I thought.

Tsumugi: Sounds like you’re busy…

Chikage: Well, I’ve got to catch up on the work I put aside because we had to prepare for the Nihil performance.

Chikage: It looks like I’ll be done by next week, though, so no need to worry.

Tsumugi: I see…

Chikage: … You look like you want to say something.

Tsumugi: No… It’s not that important.

Tsumugi: Since we finished the Nihil performance without a hitch, I was thinking… we should have a drinking party as two people who played the same role.

Chikage: A wrap party, huh? … Why not? Like I said, I should be free from next week onwards.

Tsumugi: Really? Let’s do it, then.

Chikage: Got it. I suppose I’ll have to look for a shop.

Tsumugi: Thank you! I’m looking forward to it.

-

Staff: Welcome.

Tsumugi: Ah, I have a reservation under the name Utsuki…

Staff: Utsuki-sama, yes. You may take a seat over here.

Tsumugi: (I got to the restaurant Chikage-san made a reservation at… but it seems I got here before him.)

Tsumugi: (This is my first time here, but this seems like a good place with a nice ambiance.)

[Door opening]

Chikage: Thanks for waiting. Good work today, Tsumugi.

Tsumugi: Ah, Chikage-san. Good work today.

Tsumugi: Thank you for making a reservation. This is a wonderful place.

Chikage: Our company uses it for entertainment. It’s got a nice atmosphere, so I figured you’d like it too.

Tsumugi: Thank you. I really do like it.

Tsumugi: Did you manage to finish up your backlog at work?

Chikage: Yeah, everything’s calmed down now. Chigasaki seems to be getting busier, on the other hand.

Tsumugi: Ahaha… We’ll have to throw a drinking party as a reward for him.

Tsumugi: That aside… We drink at the dorms from time to time, but I don’t really get the chance to drink with you when you’re all suited up. This is a nice change of pace.

Chikage: When you put it like that, it’s a rather new experience for the two of us to be drinking out.

Tsumugi: Fufu, you’re right.

Chikage: For now, let’s order. What should we drink?

Tsumugi: When the Winter Troupe goes out drinking, we tend to start with beer. We could start with something else today, though.

Tsumugi: … Oh, they have plum liqueur and other kinds of fruit liqueur. Sounds delicious.

Chikage: This one’s rejuvenating, and this one’s got a sweeter taste, I suppose.

Tsumugi: Fufu, these drinks here sound like things Hisoka-kun and Juza-kun would enjoy.

-

Tsumugi: Haa… This drink is delicious.

Chikage: Tsumugi, your face is getting a little red.

Tsumugi: Really? I haven’t had the chance to drink a lot lately, so the alcohol might be getting to me a little quickly.

Chikage: Shouldn’t you take it easy on account of your schedule tomorrow?

Tsumugi: It’s okay, I don’t have anything planned. What about you?

Chikage: Banri and I are planning on going to an escape room tomorrow. But don’t worry, drinking doesn’t affect me much the day after.

Tsumugi: An escape room…

Tsumugi: Chikage-san, why won’t you go to one with me? We even promised we’d solve a mystery together again when we were studying for our role…

Chikage: We did promise that. Tomorrow’s game needs two people to form a tag team, so… I’ll invite you next time.

Tsumugi: Promise? I’ll stick a needle in your eye if you’re lying.

Chikage: … That.

Tsumugi: Huh?

Chikage: When you think about it, it’s a disturbing little rhyme.

Tsumugi: I think it just goes to show how serious of a crime lying is.

Chikage: … I see.

Tsumugi: But I think there are times when lying is necessary.

Chikage: ——

Tsumugi: But now that you mention it, sticking a needle in your eye does sound scary.

Tsumugi: So… if you’re lying, I’ll have you drink 100 drinks.

Chikage: … That sounds quite scary too, though.

Tsumugi: But you don’t seem like the type to get drunk even after you drink 100 drinks.

Chikage: I’m curious now. Want me to give it a try?

Tsumugi: If we have the chance to, by all means.

[Flashback ends]

Tsumugi: I had a pretty rough time the next day, but you seemed fine.

Chikage: I don’t think it affected me in any particular way.

Tsumugi: Even though you drank so much…

Chikage: Okay, let’s leave the reminiscing for another time.

Chikage: … Happy birthday. Here’s my gift.

Tsumugi: Woah… Is this a mystery solving game?

Chikage: Yeah. In the end, we never went to an escape room.

Chikage: I thought about getting tickets so we’d go to one together… But I figured the game would be simpler.

Chikage: You can play it with the other members, too.

Tsumugi: Thank you so much. … And it’s circus themed. It reminds me of the event we held at the abandoned amusement park.

Chikage: You said you had fond memories of that park.

Tsumugi: You remember that? You really are kind after all, Chikage-san.

Tsumugi: But, while playing this with everyone else sounds nice… I want to solve it with you first.

Tsumugi: Oh, and you have to take me to an escape room. You promised.

Chikage: … I just can’t win with you, can I? Alright.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Osborn’s Phone Call: Night Taxi Call [打车夜话] Translation

*Light and Night Masterlist | Osborn’s Personal Masterlist *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Osborn’s tag will be #For Night, For Freedom *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Freedom⊹ —————★❖

MC: Osborn, are you here?

Osborn: What's wrong?

MC: Nothing. I wasn't actually expecting you to call me.

Osborn: Take a look at the time!

MC: Oh… it's 10.43 PM.

Osborn: I was worried since I couldn't be with you due to my external training.

Osborn: And now I'm receiving a call from you this late at night. How am I not to panic?

MC: That's true. Although… this works out just fine for me since I originally wanted to call you later anyway.

Osborn: Looks like our tacit understanding of each other is getting better.

Osborn: Let me guess, did you just get off work?

MC: Yeah, I'm on a taxi back home. 

MC: But it's a little scary taking a taxi alone, so I felt like calling you.

Osborn: Got it. What's the taxi’s car plate number? You don't have to say it out, you can just type it to me.

MC: Lemme see… Sent!

Osborn: I've received it. Are you wearing earphones now?

MC: Yeah, why?

Osborn: Wear only one side of it. It's better for you to be aware of any discrepancies in your surroundings.

MC: Ohh, you do have a point!

Osborn: Had I known that you'd be working overtime, I'd have gotten Wen Wan to fetch you instead.

MC: It's alright. I don't want to trouble others. Plus, it's pretty enjoyable to be able to call you like what I’m doing now.

MC: We may not be together, but hearing your voice makes it seem as if you’re right by my side.

Osborn: But it’s different for me. Now that I’m hearing your voice, it makes me want to see you so much more. Right here, right now.

MC: Um… Are you already thinking about how to come back earlier?

Osborn: Why not? Wow, you’re already starting to get this guessing game down pat.

MC: Hehe, but don’t give in to your whims like that! Even if you’re a god, you still have to concentrate on your training!

MC: It’s not that I don’t have confidence in your skills, but more practice means that you’re safer out on the tracks.

Osborn: Sure. You’ve already spoken. How can I defy that?

MC: Aw, it’s fine as long as you know what I’m trying to say!

Osborn: How far are you from home now?

MC: I’ve just gotten out of the car, so I’ll be reaching home soon!

Osborn: Brilliant. Take note of the takeaway rack outside before you go in.

MC: Hm? …Hey, a lemon tart! When did you order this?

Osborn: When you got in the taxi.

Osborn: Now you’ll be able to dream a sweet dream after eating the lemon tart.

[runariya]

I finished reading why they broke up or just one of the reasons for it and tbh she’s right. why would I change myself for you just because you wanna have some fun or do something that’s not i would do and let me feel like im the one who’s at fault for not doing what you want? why drag me into it? do it with your friends or mother but why me? i mean yes both of them didn’t communicate and what not but the fact that she says no and HE acts hurt is selfish ass hell. why be hurt by something a person doesn’t want to do? you literally got to know her as a calm person so why change her to your standards? also him shutting her up and sleeping with her just to not talk about it but then leave her in the middle of the night is fucked up too. no wonder she broke up and im glad she did.

„you calm me it’s like i don’t have to keep running“ that was a lie.

I hope you all don’t mind me not doing another drabble from his POV for this one, bc omg idk how I’d explain his whole thought process regarding this ask lol

Okay, so first, in her POV you’re absolutely right, and I feel you! That exact emotion you’ve got is ultimately what led her to break up with him.

BUT (!) I need to explain why he’s not the villain here too (tho it’s just my take on things, you’re free to hate whichever character you want lol)

Quick timeline for better understanding:

They met when they were just shy of 19

Dated when they were 20

Camping and breakup at 24

See each other again/main CCL at 27

Yes, he knew who she was, and while she went along with most minor things, he never thought he was pushing her boundaries this far, key word: communication on her side. This drabble shows solely the end of their relationship, where she, for the first time, explicitly said no to him. At the start of the drabble, she was still saying things like ‘I can’t do this with you’, blah blah, not rly voices out why. But regardless to this, he was oblivious to her inner thoughts and the extent of her doubts. (I’m not bashing OC, I’m just too lazy to look up her exact words)

Him shutting her up the way he did to stop her doubting herself by showing her that everything’s okay, and that she’s still his dream girl, isn’t that bad in my opinion either. He’s a man, a physical one, and that’s his way of showing his love to her. But after all this time where she’s stuck in her head, it just doesn’t hit the mark, key word: his communication skills.

He wants to share his adventures with her, not some friends, so on that front alone, it’s not rly that bad either.

As for his ‘hurt,’ I think it’s human. I’m thinking about all the times I’ve wanted to go shopping and my husband said no, or when he wanted to watch a game at the stadium and I said no. Both of us were hurt or disappointed at first, but you get over it quickly, like rly rly quickly tho the other one’s still feeling guilty for saying no. So OC was in her head too much again bc they weren’t talking (more verbal reassurance from JK throughout the whole relationship would’ve helped maybe)

And yes, she did calm him bc (I don’t want to write a short lousy 100-word drabble about this), he didn’t actually go into the cave when he got there. He thought about what he was doing, regretted it, and realised OC was right. He wasn’t sure if she was rly asleep when he came back, but didn’t think much of it until she broke up with him, and that’s when it clicked. She knew about the cave thing, and that’s why he connected it during the breakup (it’s mentioned that he regrets it in drabble II)

I hope I managed to explain his side clearly without taking sides again lol bc honestly, I just can’t…they were both a mess and still are, but we’re getting there!

Hope I didn’t ruin the fic now 👀

TYSM for this ask, it got my brain working overtime but I loved it! 💕

[thaisibir]

The Niijima sisters and envy

I want to talk about the Niijima sisters AKA best girls and how their relationship stands out to me in this epic 100+ hour game. (P5R spoilers below the cut)

There's no denying that Sae is hella stunning, smart, talented, and successful.  Yet it's interesting that Makoto never shows obvious or outward signs of jealousy or resentment whenever these aspects of Sae are brought up in the games. I'm sure there was pressure or inadequacy felt on Makoto's part when the principal mentions Sae's success as a prosecutor to get Makoto to follow in her footsteps. (Dick move on the principal's part) But we never get moments like Makoto expressing wishes to be more beautiful or smart like her sister. Instead there's just that fierce, earnest sisterly love she has for Sae, a love so strong that it's the reason she joined the Phantom Thieves, and why she's willing to "fight in her corner" and say to Sae "I'm on your side." Even in times when Sae didn't really deserve it, like when she lashed out at Makoto over dinner, or as she teeters on the brink of corruption by the time of the casino palace arc. Whenever Makoto does talk about Sae, I perceive respect and admiration from her more than anything else. In the dancing game, Makoto talks about how both are trained in aikido but Sae kicks her ass every time. I never got a sense of Makoto disliking Sae for this. It's more like "my big sister is so good and I want to keep trying and work harder to be her equal one day." That's part of why I like Makoto so much. Drive, ambition, and strong work ethic are core parts of her character, but she doesn't let envy or resentment get the better of her. That's what differentiates the sisters, why one of them becomes a heroic Phantom Thief and the other is almost consumed in shadow.

Meanwhile it's Sae who's experiencing the envy. This may have come as a surprise to some people. Like I mentioned before, she's practically perfect. What does she have to be jealous of? But I've been in her shoes before. I'm an older sister who works in a high paying male-dominated field (surgery and anesthesia). My younger sister got to pursue the major and career our parents wouldn't let me do (art). With a retired mom, deceased dad, and sister + brother in-law scraping by on minimum wage, I occasionally work overtime or pick up incentive shifts to rake in extra money to support my family on top of supporting myself. The position Sae is in, the career struggles she faces as a woman in a gentleman's club, it's so, so relatable and scarily realistic. The envy an older sibling feels for the younger sibling with more freedom is something I've experienced, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The way Sae loses her temper at Makoto and calls her useless is definitely unfair and unwarranted, but we can at least understand where she's coming from. Maybe Sae used to have Makoto's optimism when she was younger. But now she is an overworked and stressed adult, the sole breadwinner for the family, worn and beaten down to a cynical and bitter shadow of herself due to the trappings and pressures of society. The very unhealthy way she is dealing with the death of her father, and thinking of him, is certainly not helping things. (Having lost my dad unexpectedly a few years ago myself, I can't help really pitying Sae for the way she's trying to fight through life without apparently any kind of support network or healthy outlet for her emotions.) The manifestation of Shadow Sae is what happens when Makoto's pure drive and ambition become twisted and corrupted. Meanwhile Makoto is a high school student brimming with potential, free to take matters into her own hands so she can enter another dimension with her thief buddies to drive a nuclear motorcycle and punch the hell out of monsters and save and free Sae from herself. The inevitable clash of sisters is a valuable lesson, a cautionary tale, to remind us that we shouldn't lose sight of the values we hold dear, to not let the world twist us into shadows of ourselves.

All of this more or less articulates why I was so drawn to the Niijima sisters, their characters, arcs, and development as I played P5R. It's a refreshing and (in my opinion, at least) a well written portrayal of sister dynamics. I do wish there was more Sae could do and say to try making up for the harsh treatment toward Makoto after the casino palace. But hey, that's what fanfic is for.

[vronism]

Violent “I’ve had enough” vent under the cut because I feel like an absolute crap today and after getting a denial letter from a non-profit that could sponsor my attendance at GDC in the US I just feel like pitying myself for a moment.

I have been in game dev since I’ve been 20. I’ve started as a QA, thinking it’s gonna be just for a moment, but it wasn’t. I’m still a fucking QA.

I worked on big projects, and I love, love working on aaa titles. I do. I love this industry with my whole heart, and I feel I have more to offer than it wants to take from me, and it’s just awful. I work on an indie project on the side, but my “big fish” work takes most of my time. I stay overtime out of my free will. I did weekends and nights in my previous company out of my own free will. I have no respect for my personal time, because I love this shit so much. But it’s not enough, it’s never enough, and it’s not “babies first encounter with capitalism” either, because I know how it works, I have been mobbed, I have been laid off. And yet I keep coming back.

QA gets paid the least. You do the job of a tester, personal helper to the team you’re assigned to, pre-reviewer, even some minor production work, but you get paid the least, and you are always get looked down upon, because it’s “just” qa, the lowest of the low entry points to game dev. I’m highly specialized. I do one field, or should do one field only, which is character art, but because there’s a shit ton of work and not enough people experienced enough (? Where did the entry point job go, huh?) I do narrative now as well. And VFX quality while I’m at it. And rigging, too. And I don’t mind. I love it.

I do mind though I cannot develop where I would like to. I cannot do art, I cannot do anything creative, I’m just stuck looking at other peoples work. I work on my own project after work, some people from work help me, too, after work, but it’s not much, I know it won’t change anything.

There are programs to help. Of course they are. One is for girls in highschool, so a decade younger than me, and when I was their age, it didn’t exist. As a QA I have no chance of speaking on events; nobody cares what I have to say, and I don’t feel like an authority with something worthy to say in the qa department. I do my job and I do it good, but I couldn’t give less of a fuck about it.

And nobody would listen to a stupid QA speaking on art or character building. I have no authority there either, and absolutely zero credentials.

It feels like a fucking inescapable limbo. I don’t get grants or outside help, because I put my all into my day qa job and I barely have time to work on creative projects, additionally I’m bound by depression and audhd so bad that I just dissociate and stop existing for stretches of time. I live in a small town, with no car, so getting to some drawing lessons in the bigger city is barely possible, especially that they cut off public transport.

I feel like my art sucks. It’s on lower level than it should be by now. I feel like I’m too old for the industry already, I have no chances of changing anything, and I’m left to fend for myself by the only non-profits that could help.

The luckiest thing in my life right now is that my company kept me for a year now and is not planning layoffs anytime soon. But that’s it.

It’s awful. I feel like shit, I just wanna do more, but I’m never given a chance to. It’s demotivating, I’m from a shit country with bad art schools, bad perspectives, and no help. I’m completely invisible to everybody.

I don’t have great thoughts right now.

[lucy90712]

Hihi its me again could you do gavi x f1 driver where the reader is one the youngest f1 drivers

A/n: thank you for this request I enjoyed writing it as I like formula 1 too 

wc: 2.0k+

Racing as been a passion of mine since I was little it first started when I went to watch my brother train on a motorbike as thats what he enjoyed. While there I saw people on go karts and instantly wanted to try so my parents got me one and from that day on I have been racing. I worked my way through the ranks in go karts before getting into single seater cars and then to the formula one paddock when I got a seat in f3. Everything happened so quickly but after winning in my rookie season in both f3 and f2 I have finally made it to the top flight of racing formula 1 which is a dream come true. 

Of course there has been criticism of me and the team for giving me a seat but overall so far it’s been a great experience. The first few races were really difficult as the car is very different to anything I've ever driven before but slowly overtime I have been improving and getting more confident in the car. A lot of the places we have been racing in I haven't been too familiar with but once we started racing in Europe I got a bit better and now we are going to a track that I have spent my life at the circuit de Barcelona Catalunya I am hoping for a really good result. Not only do I want a good result just to show that I'm improving but I also want to do well because my boyfriend is coming to watch me race for the first time. He is a footballer with Barcelona so is always busy during race weekends which means he has never been to one of my races in a proper championship but finally he has a weekend free which just happened to fall on the week we are in Barcelona. 

For weeks I've been looking forward to Pablo coming to watch me race so now that the weekend is finally here I'm just so ready to get in the car. Sadly Pablo couldn't come for Friday practice so we have already done two practice sessions although they went really well and I have been fast in both sessions. Today he is coming with me though which has had me so excited that I barely got any sleep but I did managed to fall asleep eventually after telling myself that time would go by faster if I slept. Eventually my alarm went off and I got ready in record time which meant I had to wait for Pablo to arrive at the hotel all drivers were made to stay at so that we could go to the paddock together. 

Eventually there was a knock on my hotel room door so I ran to open it and before he could come into the room I had my arms wrapped around Pablo because we haven't seen each other in a while as I've been so busy with racing. Luckily he arrived a few minutes before we needed to leave so we got some time to greet each other and talk a bit as we probably won't get much time together once at the track. I told him everything he would need to know before we left like what time every session was and where everything was even though I'll give him a quick tour when we arrive. He seemed really excited but I could tell that there was something he wasn't telling me so I tried to get it out of him. 

"What's going through your mind?" I asked 

"Nothing I'm just looking forward to watching you out there" he said 

"I know there is something you aren't telling me Pablo just tell me whats wrong and I can help" I said 

"I'm just a bit nervous I've seen what it can be like going into the paddock and I know I deal with it before games but for some reason this just makes me more nervous" he admitted 

"Thats ok you can be nervous I still get nervous going to your games but I will be there the whole time and we can always walk to the garage quickly" I said 

"Thank you love" he said 

After that we had to leave so we got in the car that would be taking us to the track even though its only a short distance away we are made to go by car. As the car entered the track there was a lot of fans waiting and filming as we went past which I've got used to but I know Pablo hasn't experienced it before so I made sure to grab his hand to let him know I was there. Once the car was parked Pablo let go of my hand and ran around to the other side of the car to open my door for me which made me laugh because he always has to open my door no matter what. Before we walked in I made sure we took a minute in the car park just to make sure he was ready and secretly I had to calm myself down as I was nervous about what would happen when I walked in with Pablo. 

As we got to the entrance to the paddock there was people waiting like always so I went and took pictures and signed things but I always made sure to keep Pablo by my side if I couldn't be holding his hand. I love to talk to fans but today I wanted to make sure I didn't spend too long out there so I only signed a few things before heading into the actual paddock. Even once inside there was people taking pictures and trying to ask me questions but I just kept walking until we made it inside the team hospitality and my driver room. I expected Pablo look a bit overwhelmed but he had the biggest smile on his face before he launched into telling me how much he loved seeing people excited to see me and how they completely ignored him like he was no one and only cared about me. It was so heartwarming seeing him get so excited about watching me interact with fans because he always feels so bad whenever we go anywhere together and people want to talk to him but ignore me so for the opposite to happen isn't normal. 

The next few hours were incredibly busy with practice and then preparing for qualifying but it was all completely worth it as I managed to get p2 which is the best I've done in qualifying all season. Afterwards I was dragged off to do interviews but as soon as I was done I ran back to the garage to find Pablo who was waiting for me just outside. Without really thinking I jumped straight into his arms and we celebrated together. I think he was more excited than I was but that just made it all so much better because I wanted to show him what I could do and I feel like so far I've done that. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After yesterdays qualifying I have been on a high for most of the day but as the clock has been ticking down to the start of the race the nerves have been creeping in. I always get somewhat nervous before a race but today I'm even more nervous because I'm starting from p2 and so there is a higher expectation of a good result. Having Pablo here is also making me more nervous because I want to do well for him which is silly as I know he will be happy no matter how I do but I still keep putting the extra pressure on myself. We have already had our team meeting this morning and they are confident that we can fight for the win as long as we get the strategy right but sometimes they do get it wrong so that has me worrying too. 

With the race being in under an hour I already have my race suit on and am just sitting in my driver room trying to keep calm. Pablo left to go and do something so I've been sat on my own for a while which hasn't been helping. Just as I was getting myself really worked up the door opened and Pablo came back in holding something behind his back. Instantly it perked my interest as he had a smirk on his face as well which can be scary when it comes to Pablo depending on his mood. Luckily he didn't make me wait too long as pretty quickly he whipped out a hat with my number on it and put it on with a big smile on his face waiting to see my reaction. I loved it but I couldn't make myself smile too much as I was still worried about the race. 

"What's wrong do you not like the hat?" He asked 

"No I love it I'm just really nervous for the race" I said

"There's no need to be nervous you have been doing so well all weekend you will do amazing" he reassured me 

"But there is so much that could go wrong the team say we need the right strategy to win and you've seen what the strategy can be like sometimes I might be fine but what about everything else" I pointed out 

"Don't worry about it all you can do is drive to the best of your ability if you don’t get a good result it just wasn't meant to be and you will do it next time and before you say it I don't care how you do I just want to see you out there" he said before giving me a kiss 

"Thank you Pablo you always know what to say" I said 

Before I knew it I had to get in the car and then I was lined up on the grid with the lights about to go off. For some reason seeing the lights settled my mind and I got in the zone like I do for every other race. Once the lights were out I just went for it and had the best start of my life ending up in first before even getting to turn 1. The rest of the race was much the same I was racing really well and putting down really good times each lap which kept a healthy distance to the car behind. By some miracle the strategy worked out and we had two really good pit stops which gave me the best chance of winning. When the last lap came around I was in first with enough of a gap behind that I didn't have to worry about losing position so I just got to take it all in and really enjoy my first win. 

After crossing the line I was instantly screaming down the radio and thanking the team before pulling down pit lane and stopping the car. Everyone was waiting for me to get out the car so I got out as quick as I could and jumped into the crowd to celebrate with them all. When the team put me down I took my helmet off and went straight to Pablo who was stood off to the side. He brought me into his arms and hugged me so tightly my feet came off the ground. When we pulled away he gave me a few kisses before telling me how proud he was and how well I drove which was nice to hear as sometimes I doubt myself. Once I let go of him I headed to the podium and the whole time I was just looking down at Pablo smiling as he filmed the whole thing like a proud mum. 

I had a lot of media to do but eventually I was done and met back up with Pablo to head back to his place to spend the night together as I don't have to be in the hotel anymore. When we arrived I went and flopped straight on the sofa where Pablo joined me and wouldn’t stop telling me how much he enjoyed the race until we both went to sleep a few hours later. 

[hammerhead-jpg]

I get in a mood sometimes

When I say cringe culture is dead and I'm cringe but I'm free I mean it

Not just liking anime, kandi and scene fashion, I mean all of it

If you're gonna say that cringe culture is dead it also applies to the beginer artists with bad anatomy and proportions, the furries, even the fat MHA cosplayers lip syncing "this is my todoroki"

Because back in 2018 or so during the sans fan girl era I was too much of a smartass kid to enjoy it for the camp goodness it was and instead had to be all fangirlmania "heh...you can't kill people over the internet 🤓"

Like I'm not joking when I say that the stars had to align for the sans fan girl craze to happen. If we actually exist in a multiverse where there are an infinite amount of universes then this is either a canon event or it only happened in this universe and no else

Like how do you explain that around 2018 a bunch of girls ages 8-13 made videos on YouTube roleplaying as their usually furry oc/persona(?), usually with flipaclip or a movie maker slideshow, declaring that a character from the game Undertale is their boyfriend AND husband, and that said character is so heavily removed from his source and his own personality that he might not even be there and- get this -they would make videos roleplaying and drawing out the (sometimes kidnapping and) murder of other sans fangirls because they were stealing sans away from them? And the declared "bad" fangirls eventually grew up into normal people while the "good" fangirls turned out to be horrible weirdos???

I can't describe to you how much I wish it was still socially acceptable to create a killing video of a person you're having internet beef with. Like imagine you're like "why are you talking about the vega ba, aren't you a mineral?" And then you're tagged in a video of their persona kidnapping, torturing and killing you?? I mean you'd probably be disturbed and think it's some sort of death threat but they win the argument instantly!

(btw if you have no context of this I know "killing videos" might sound very troubling but I promise they were kinda badly made and silly and no one really took them seriously, like if you look them up you'll know what I mean I swear they didn't have the same vibe of someone telling you how they're gonna kill you in your Instagram dms I swear)

You might be saying "okay I get it mr hammerhead you're nostalgic but even if you look at it from the lense of fun camp random videos made by 8 year olds aren't that entertaining"

And you're right, most of them aren't really

But there was this one person.

And their channel is still up, but I don't want to say their username cuz I don't know if this would be considered good or bad rep?

Anyways this person started off like any other sans fangirl at the time

Flipaclip curcle tool lil drawings, "hello my name is ___ and sans is my boyfriend and well if you take him away... you're gonna have a bad time"

They made regular killing videos where their character would kill other sans fangirls

But overtime things changed

The production quality because better and the stories became elaborate

Now, they were only killing out of necessity

They felt ashamed at their past self for going onto murderous rampages, but now, they had to kill to protect themselves or the people they cared about

It had lore it had drama, it was literally nothing like I've ever seen before

And it had actual Undertale lore in it?? Like it wasn't just sans floating there aimlessly there were other characters from the game??

And guess what, one time, one of the people they made a killing video about incorporated the lore from that video into their oc story and they became friends?!?! Bro how cool is that???

And the person basically allows and even incourages people to make killing videos with their oc?? Honestly me too if you have beef with me man up and make a killing video about me I'm waiting

And yeah, it wasn't some masterpiece that rivals the classics but who would think that killing videos about sans fangirls could be this emersive??

Do you know how badly I wish I was a part of that during that time???

And then history repeated in 2021

You see, ever since watching my hero academia during the 2020 quarantine I was into making ocs for it

And it became a big thing for me too, I made so many of them, and I kept making new ones and then scrapping them because I wanted to make newer ones but didn't want to have a bijillion of them cuz I thought saying "yeah I have like 35 mha ocs" would be cringe

Like it was my big obsession before I got into redacted (besides like, the actual mha show, class1b and monoshin)

I kinda lost interest in them some time ago but I think mha ending and the new season kinda resparked that interest because I'm actually redesigning them right now and thinking about revisiting their stories!

But at that time, there was and still is a community of mha oc artists on Instagram.

I made a ton of memories in that community and I could talk about it for who knows how long but I'm not here to talk about it

The thing is, I judged "mary sue" type ocs so hard.

I wasn't a complete asshole don't worry, I knew not to go to their pages and send hate or even unwanted criticism towards them, and I wasn't the type to say that every character that had a strong power was a mary sue or that every character that has a sad backstory was a mary sue, I was approaching my bitterness from a writing perspective

And I don't think that was that bad. I just had a gripe with certain tropes and as long as I wasn't being hateful towards the people that displayed them then that's really not an issue.

The thing is: I love "Mary sue" ocs now

I can't help but look at my 2021 self like the comments on an old Solar Sands video about rewieving ocs

"hurk...erm... Am I the only one that has a STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUAL oc who is HUMAN, has ALIVE, LOVING parents and NATURALLY COLORED hair with NO scars, NO heterochromia and NO powers 🤓🤓🤓🤓"

Yes and you're extremely boring for it!

Like I can't help but find the "well written" MHA ocs kinda boring now. I want the "Mary sue" mha oc who has 50 different quirks, was adopted by aizawa and is in love with bakugo.

I never stopped to think that a "Mary Sue" oc is a product of a person prioritizing having fun and creating an oc that they find cool rather than worrying about if the constructive criticism youtube channel would think their oc is good enough!!

And yes, saying that I enjoy those ocs unironically and not just as fun camp wouldn't really be the whole truth, I'm not gonna "Mary Sue"-ify all my ocs now, but they still bring me joy in the way regular old mha ocs haven't in some time!!

But the thing is, there are barely any anymore!! The ones I knew either disappeared into thin air or redesigned their oc to be more "well written"

Just like making killing videos is no longer socially acceptable and that sans fangirl channel deleted most of their videos, there are no more fun "Mary sue" mha ocs and I was too worried about what was "not cringe" to enjoy them!!

In this essay I will