#but overall I am starting to become concerned with the dry end of his hair boo stop taking hair advice from Pierre G please

[micallum]

I AM UNWELL https://www.instagram.com/p/CngtQggtVYE/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hey, bestie? I think I may need 3 business days and a large slice of double chocolate cake to get over this one...

[djarrex]

So I was wondering, how was rex and reader first kiss, and also the first time they’d slept together? I loved that story about how they met!! I’m genuinely curious

!!Yessssss :’)

Ok, so for anyone who hasn’t read their first meeting/first date, I’ll link it here. Previously, I had included a little bit of their first date in one of the main installments/chapters as a flashback scene during Priya’s birth and you can find that here.

Find the rest in the Post-Order 66 Rex ML

I’ll pick this up from when they’re riding in the taxi on the way to reader’s apartment (from flashback scene found in second link)

18+ only! dry humping, heavy makeout sesh, groping, non-descriptive sex, piv sex, maybe just a hint of ‘first time’ awkwardness but... y’know. overall, Rex is a caring sweetheart. about 2.9k words #Carried Away

<<<>>>

The back of Rex’s hand, the gauntlet plate, that is, lands on your bare thigh - his gloved palm upright and waiting, fingers relaxed. You can’t help your wide smile that grows upon noticing the gesture accompanied by his unsure, yet confident expression as you gladly lay your hand within his - fingers locking into place. 

"Is... this okay?"

So considerate, appropriately cautious, cute.

You lock eyes with his, making it a point when your tongue barely darts out to wet your lower lip while giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. His lips curl at the corners - a little chuckle seeping through his nostrils before turning his head to watch the streaks of lights fly by outside the transparisteel. The ride isn’t very long, but it’s nearly silent. It must be late enough for the driver to have long surpassed the point of wanting to engage in light conversation, thankfully so, and the music is turned down to the lowest volume - just light pulse of a beat coming from the tiny speaker. The whir of the vessel gliding through the air lanes hums throughout the interior, along with the heavy beat of your heart in your ears. Your fingers stay intertwined with Rex’s the entire time. At one point, briefly, his thumb started to absentmindedly brush back and forth over the thick knuckle of yours, and caught himself when the the taxi slowed to halt as it pulled in front of your complex.

Rex scoots out first - extending his hand towards you and helping you out of the seat and onto the duracrete. As you lean into the taxi’s opening to toss the driver some credits, Rex watches the way you move - the way even the miniscule muscles flex underneath your form-fitting dress and with the movement of what skin is exposed. A sudden breeze catches him off guard when that familiar scent of lavender coming from your hair hits him just like it did back on the dancefloor. His own heart is pounding uncontrollably beneath the protective shell of plastoid, though he’s sure you can hear it. Your hearts mirror one another’s tonight - anxious, eager, sure, ready. 

It's quiet after the taxi speeds off. It's late, and the two of you stand just outside the complex entrance in silence, facing one another and staring deep into each other's eyes. There’s a whole bunch being said, without any words actually being spoken. It’s insane the way Rex is just pulling you in without laying so much as a finger on you right now; his gravitational pull is far too strong for you to resist, not that you’re trying to resist. You want to get dragged into his orbit, burn up upon skirting through his atmosphere. That connection... it’s so noticeably there and it’s making your legs weak - weight settling in the back of your head, pushing you forward and closing the space between your faces. You know it’s affecting him just as it’s affecting you. There is no escape, though neither one of you is trying to flee. 

“Is... this o-” 

Rex is unable to echo his question from the taxi once the remaining space between the two of you quickly vanishes. When your lips meet his for the very first time, something just clicks - like two missing pieces from a puzzle that you didn’t even know were absent have just come together and completed it, effectively ending its drawn-out hiatus. You’re sure there are better analogies out there with deeper meaning but it’s hard to think with how wrapped up in him you’re becoming with something as simple as a ‘first kiss’. Your arms flying to wrap around his neck, Rex pulls you closer - his fingers gripping the fabric at your hips and holding you close. A heavy breath escapes from him and you take the opportunity to poke your tongue out to be immediately greeted by his own. It’s medium-paced; not desperate nor casual. The dance you share with the light clashing of teeth, the rhythm that’s set with every little movement of the muscles in your mouths - it’s just right. 

When you move to break away, panting, your eyes quickly dart to the building standing tall to the right of you before they quickly return to his. An overt cue... 

“Do you wan-”

...One of which Rex takes swift action.

“Yes.” Rex didn’t need for you to finish that line; he was already way ahead of you, and was somehow starting to believe you’d never ask. Any nerves of his have long since vanished, as well as any notion of sleep - other, more exciting things urging him on. He knows where he’ll be waking up in the morning, and it’s not on that bedroll in the barracks that he was practically dreaming of back at 79′s before he’d laid eyes on you. For once, the clone captain will allow himself to indulge in what this night holds. 

The two of you are unable to keep your hands to yourselves during the brief ride in the lift up to your floor. Rex holds you impossibly close, hands pressed into your lower back and practically carrying your floating body through the corridors until arriving at your front door; you’d murmured the directions into his lips along the way. With your back pressed against it, your hand swings behind to blindly input the access code. After a few incorrect entries before hearing the musical awarded access, the door slides open, and your fingers wrap around the dip at the top of his cuirass - pulling him to follow you in. You make it as far as the couch, pushing him down to sit as you descend with him, your mouths staying connected in the process. Rex sinks into the cushions, and his hands begin rove your body experimentally from where you’re straddled over his armored lap. You’re melting into his touch, rocking yourself over the hardness of his codpiece, letting the curve of it rub into your clothed heat as his lips trail wet hot down your chin and jaw.

Never had you previously allowed a night like this to get as far with anyone else. 

“I don’t...” Rex pauses as soon as the words leave you - lifting from your neck and meeting your eyes with a flash of concern sinking in his own. “I don’t usually do this, uh, sort of thing,” you elaborate quickly, your hands gesturing to the current situation - nervous, for some odd reason, even though your mind is very made up. His expression softens and a sweet smile creeps on his lips as he traces your own with the pad of his now bare thumb - the touch featherlight, admiring. “I just- just thought I should clear that up.” You’re not sure what it is exactly that you’re clearing up; perhaps you’re afraid that Rex thinks you’re one of those clone groupies, a woman who frequents 79′s to show her appreciation for the brave soldiers of the Republic. Or maybe that you’re someone who often fucks on the first date, just to be casted aside in the morning or the one who does the casting aside. The look he’s giving you, though, as he gazes up at you with something within his eyes that you can’t yet translate, is leading you to believe that he doesn’t put you into any of those categories - didn’t, from the very moment he’d laid eyes on you.

“Mesh’la,” he breathes against your jaw - the foreign-sounding word completely unknown to you but making you clench all the same - the shape of it forming on his lips and pressing into your tender skin. “The same goes for me. I... don’t wanna do anything that’ll scare you away.”

“And here I am thinking that I’m the one coming on too strong too fast,” you jest. Sure, it has only been a single, incomplete night of knowing him, but as silly and cliché as it sounds, it honest to Maker feels like you’ve known him forever. Normally, you’d conclude that allowing yourself to think that would more than likely end up biting you in the ass in the near future, but you truly don’t think that would be the case this time. Not with him.

“Rex...” Breaking from his lips for a breather and cradling the curve of his cheekbones within your hands, you look deep into his kind eyes, searching for the answer to the question you have yet to ask. “Have you ever...?”

“Yes, yes. It, uh, was always quick... when I did.” Rex chews his cheek - his brows pinching together in unwarranted contrition. ��I’m sorry,” he sighs.

“For?”

“I don’t want you to think-”

You cut him off with the hard press of your lips to his - grinding yourself down on his lap with a little more purpose. Anything he was about to say, any inhibitions, dissolves like sugar inside your mouth. Minutes crawl by. Maybe longer, you’re unsure; too lost in this milky euphoria to give a damn about something as complex and currently unimportant as time. Your body is on fire; the heat that radiates from his flesh even from under the armor envelopes you in a different kind of warmth. You find your own hands mapping out the parts of his body that aren’t shelled by a plastoid exterior, landing on the piece that you’ve been grinding yourself on since arriving.

“Can I take this off?” Rex peers down at your hand laying over his codpiece; his perfect pout glistening, eyes darkening - the black orbs nearly swallowing the warm honey they reside in as he begins to look you over. 

“Please.”

If it wasn’t already a known fact that you’d never done this with someone like him before, then the way your fingers fumble around the plastoid in a blind search for the clasp - or whatever is holding this Maker forsaken thing in place - sure as hell gives it away. Sensing your evident struggle, Rex’s hand brushes over yours and the hindrance is unfastened in an instant. You raise a brow at him, and he only grins as you lean down to kiss him again.

Rex stands - your arms and legs squeezing him as he walks you to the bed, his erection teasing with its firm press against you. Laying you down on your back, he watches as you shimmy off the rest of your clothing. His breath catches in his throat upon your removal of your bra, eyes widening and fingers drumming at his sides, and you have to urge him to unfreeze so he can finishing undressing and join you.

“I... really want this,” he informs through heavy breaths - a hint of sheepishness engrained within the gruffness - finally moving to climb on the bed between your legs after stripping nearly everything from him and stacking it all in a neat pile. “You. Really want you.” You smile - the gleam reaching your eyes - and grab his arm to pull him on top of you. He’s still wearing his under-armor bottoms, and your hand shamelessly trails down to palm at the hard bulge from above the skin-tight material. 

“I want this too, Rex. You.” He groans - husky and deep - taking a few moments to relish the way your hand feels as you massage him before making quick work to remove the only thing that’s left covering his beautiful body.

It takes you by complete surprise - his extraordinary size. The way it was trapped within the compression bottoms was totally misleading. You swallow a clump of dry air - your tummy tingling and heart racing at the sight of him now completely nude and in the process of climbing back into position. 

“Maker...”

You say the most prominent and immediate thought out loud, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“What? Is everything okay, is- is this okay?” Rex becomes mildly frantic, concerned - just about to climb away but you grab at his shoulder, fingers pressing into the toned, corded flesh where it curves into the base of his neck at the back. 

“Yes,” you sigh - astounded. “I just... you’re, um...” Your eyes remain glued to the erect, throbbing appendage standing at attention between his legs, noting how it curves slightly upwards at the tip and is aimed at your clenching heat. “You’re big, Rex.” When your eyes flicker back up to his, his brow is raised and his lips are pressed into a thin line. Like he doesn’t already fucking know how well-endowed he is. 

Shutting your eyes and sighing quietly, your face stings from the sound of your breathy voice uttering out such truism. He shifts his weight between the arms that are caging you in on either side and looks down at himself - considering. 

“I - uh-”

“It’s okay,” you chuckle with a quick nod of your head as you spread your legs wider with a slight roll of your hips. Your mound briefly brushes the hot, velvety skin along his shaft when you lift your hips again. Your abdomen involuntarily tightens upon noticing the length of him hovering over you, practically marking how deep inside he’ll be.  “I need you, Rex.”

You learn quickly that you needn’t repeat a thing to an esteemed captain of his merit. 

He prepares you, like any true gentleman would, getting your body ready to accept him fully. Licking, touching, sucking, prodding; it’s all so exquisitely slow, intricate, surprisingly good for someone who has had little to no experience in the arena of foreplay. Thick fingers work you open in deep, pleasant strokes - his knuckles knocking into the most tender and pleasurable tissue with every pass. Rex’s lips go from attending to your breasts and trailing along nearly every inch of your skin before reuniting with your own. He inadvertently works a mild orgasm from you from his delicate tongue and purposeful touch alone - the build-up a soft crescendo until you’re moaning his name in the most breathy voice you’ve ever entertained.

You’ve never felt so safe and cared for during moments like these; now is a whole different experience than what you’d encountered in the past. You don’t have an extensive list of previous partners, but all of the ones who had made your short list were boys. Immature, needy, desperate boys. Boys who could never compare to the man who’s currently breaching you with a very gentle roll of his hips laced with all the care in the galaxy. Not to mention, his size. In that alone Rex is unmatched. 

Your lips barely disconnect; the soft whimpers and moans shared between the two of you are breathed into one another and swallowed. You’ve never experienced anything so tender yet deliberate at the same time - the combination of soft meeting its opposite making your head spin and toes curling. Nails forming small crescents indenting into his skin, you hang on to Rex’s broad shoulders as he rocks into you. It’s a steady pace he sets right from the get-go and he keeps that all the way up until your second orgasm flows through you, consequently causing a hint of resistance put up by your clenching walls, affecting his length’s repeating reentry. Not much is said, but a lot is spoken through eye contact. Neither of you want this to end, but when it inevitably does, you’d want to do this again. You want to do more than this; you both want to see each other again. When he finishes, it’s the gravelly, drawn-out groan falling out of his throat that causes you to see the stars from where they’re hung outside Coruscant’s orbit as if you’re sitting directly in front of them, just an arm’s length away. 

You’re cleaned up in such a meticulous and tender way that only Rex could provide. He falls to your side - taking you with him as his strong arms wrap around your torso. It’s insane; the way you fell into each other earlier this evening is comparable to fate itself. You think you’re going crazy, that you’re feeling all these things only after having known Rex for less than several hours, that you’re diving into something too hard and too quickly.

“Do you feel it, too?” 

You don’t know what possessed you to ask him instead of keeping it locked up in your buzzing mind, still keyed up from the best sex you’ve ever had, but it’s out there. Unable to see his face from your position, your heart starts racing with nerves, and in the several moments of silence and lingering regret, you mentally curse at yourself for being so forward.

“Yeah,” Rex says with a soft smile evident in his tone - a huge weight being lifted from your shoulders and tossed aside. “I do.”

With that, his arms hold you just a little tighter and he places a chaste kiss on your temple. It’s not long before the sound of soft snoring fills the otherwise quiet bedroom, and minutes later you’re right there alongside him - content, fluttering heart and all.

<<<>>>

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[spxllcxstxr]

Bridge Over Troubled Water • R.L

(Gif not mine)

Requests: can you do a blurb with Remus where the reader is nervous and anxious, maybe has a tough week and he gives her a massage and helps her relax? — anon and Hi! can you write an imagine where the reader is dating Remus and is disappointed in her school grades / results and is overall doubting herself and is disappointed with herself? — @emmaev

Summary: Things are getting really tough. Remus is here for you.

Warnings: mention of food, not eating/skipping a meal, hunger, depression, anxiety, a bit of a panic attack, homework, school, self deprecating thoughts, kinda take how we’re feeling in this pandemic and that’s kinda what this fic is, Snape being an ass for like two sentences, crying

Word Count: 1.7k

A.N: I hope it’s alright that I combined your two requests. But, I decided to make it longer with a lot more comfort. I really hope it’s ok with you guys ❤️ Kinda a vent fic? So that’s why it’s lowkey all over the place and the ending is sorta..abrupt? I hope you like it, though. I wanna say that I’m always here for you guys. This whole thing has been kicking my ass and school has been extremely tough for me, so know that you’re not alone. Know that you’ve got this. I believe wholeheartedly in you. Love you all. ❤️

Title: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

****

You trudge up the stone steps to the boys dorms, your bag dragging heavily behind you. With your robes slipping from your shoulders and your tie dangling loosely around your neck, you almost consider letting your bag go. Watching the heavy sack of books tumble recklessly down the spiral staircase seems like a great idea to you. However, you make it to the sixth year dorms before you’re able to loosen your grip.

The oak door was closed but not locked. What use was a lock when the door was charmed to singe off the eyebrows of any unwelcome visitor? Thankfully, the boys granted you complete access to their room in third year, so the door couldn’t harm you.

Turning the brass doorknob and stepping through the threshold, you’re greeted by somewhat organized chaos.

Sirius and Peter’s side of the room was a complete disaster while James and Remus’ side was at least nicer to look at. Sure a few books were scattered on the floor and James’ red and yellow underwear was hanging from his bedpost visible to anyone who walked in, but that’s nothing compared to whatever the other two have going on. You don’t even want to look at it, knowing full well that just one tiny glance would make your already terrible day worse.

The room is empty and completely quiet, the boys, just like every other person in the castle, were down in the Great Hall for dinner. At the thought of dinner just downstairs, your stomach grumbles before quickly churning in agony.

Quickly, you dump your bag next to the door and go through Remus’ drawers, searching for that one specific jumper.

It’s the deep blue cable knit one that always smells like him. The jumper is soft and warm and the perfect piece of clothing to cuddle into when you needed a good cry. And Godric, you needed a good, long, ugly cry.

After finding it and throwing it on, you barely lift up your feet walking to your boyfriend’s bed to get swallowed up by his blankets.

The weight of the day hits you full force the moment your head collides with his pillow, and your lips wobbles, the day replaying in your mind.

Your morning started with a Transfiguration exam that definitely was not on what you studied all night for.

Then, your potion bubbled out of your cauldron and started disintegrating the stone flooring, making Slughorn shoot you very disappointed look that made you want to disappear into the Forbidden Forest forever.

Defense Against the Dark Arts turned into a complete disaster as well when Professor Bluebell handed back your essays on inferi, and yours ended up with a spikey red D scrawled angrily on the top. D, which stands for Dreadful, as Snape snidely reminded you from over your shoulder. He flashed you smug little smirk along with the delicate O that adorned his own essay.

And to top it all off, you had to meet up with Flitwick right after classes to go over the vinegar to wine charm that for some reason wouldn’t work for you no matter how hard you tried. And you still weren’t successful.

This was becoming a common occurrence.

You always knew that your N.E.W.T. year was going to be tough, but Merlin, you never expected it to be this awful.

Classes were longer and harder and your professors were relentless and unforgiving with the amount of homework and exams they started handing out.

Sure you had more free periods, but those were filled with research and essays and studying, you had no free time at all—it was all a lie.

You couldn’t escape it. Sleep was just more time to be plagued by anxiety to the point you barely even slept at all. Most of the time you stared blankly up at the ceiling thinking about all the assignments you could be doing instead.

It’s this torturous and vicious cycle that you just can’t get out of.

And your motivation was quickly disappearing.

It was getting tougher and tougher each time to even do your homework. Lifting up your quill and taking out a stack of parchment was just difficult. It took too much energy out of you.

Smothering your face in Remus’ pillow, you groan out your frustration, balling your fists around the frayed sleeves of the jumper.

You’re so wrapped up in your despair and panic that you don’t hear the door creak open and four sets of footfalls and laughter bounce around the room.

“Damn, what’s up with you?” Sirius chuckles. You hear him flop onto his own bed.

You bury your nose in the fabric of the jumper, inhaling the sweet and comforting scent of chocolate and old parchment that always accompanies Remus Lupin.

“Don’t be a git, Pads.” Remus scoffs, making his way towards you.

He crouches down by your head, placing a delicate thumb on your cheekbone.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” His tone turns soft, drenched with concern.

You squeeze your eyes shut tight, tears trickling down the bridge of your nose and dripping down to the white sheets.

“Alright, darling, hold on.” Remus whispers, placing a dainty kiss on your forehead.

He straightens up, knees creaking the way no sixteen year old’s should.

“Alright, lads, clear out.” Remus declares to his friends.

“You can’t kick me out of my room, Moony. No way.” You hear James whine.

“Yes, I can, Prongs, c’mon. Go play chess with Peter or something.”

“But he always beats me.”

“C’mon, Prongsie, we can scam the first years by making them place bets on you winning.” Sirius suggests. His boots click against the floorboards, trailing towards the door.

Peter’s light footsteps follow after them.

“Fine.” James huffs dramatically. “But I’m not sleeping on the couch again, so no funny business.”

The door slams shut and once again you’re met with silence, though you do hear Remus changing out of his uniform and into more comfortable attire.

The bed dips underneath Remus’ weight and his hand gently starts to stroke through your hair.

“Tell me what’s wrong, my love.” Remus mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

You try to swallow down the lump in the back of your throat.

“Just a very shitty day, Rem.” You manage to croak out, the words choppy and wavering.

Tears begin to flow freely, warm salty streaks making their way down your face in rapid succession.

“Oh darling.” Remus coos, practically pulling you into his arms and between his legs. You bury your face into his neck, tears dampening his scarred flesh. “It’s alright, let it out.” He continues to run your hair between his fingers. “Let it all out...”

“I-I’m just so stupid!” You sob, choking on spit. “Everything’s just getting too much and I can’t fucking take it anymore!”

He squeezes you closer to his chest, opting to stay silent so you can vent everything off of your chest. His cheek is pressed to the top of your head and you’re vaguely aware that you’re being rocked gently back and forth.

“It’s so hard!” You continue to wail, lungs constricting rapidly. It’s a struggle to keep breathing and your words barely come out fully, instead broken fragments are the only things spewing out.

“I’m a failure!” You spit out, face wet with tears.

“You’re not a failure, my love. I promise.” Remus tried to soothe, his voice adopting a small but noticeable waver. His hand rubs your back.

“I am! I’m a disappointment!” You sniff, taking in deep gulps of air.

“Shh...” Remus pulls you back a bit so he can see your entire face.

You already know you look disgusting. Eyes blotchy and red, tears streaming down your face. Snotty, spitty, wobbling, and watery features taking up his entire vision.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, hm? Let me help.” He consoles you softly.

You gaze into his warm honey brown eyes, glistening with his own tears.

You sniff, rubbing the sleeves of Remus’ stolen jumper across your face in an attempt to dry yourself off.

“Everything’s slipping, Rem. My grades, my mental health, everything. And I’m so lost I don’t know what to do anymore.” You confess. “What am I supposed to do?” You bring your hands up to you hair, tugging at your scalp enough for you to feel sparks of pain.

Quickly, his own trembling hands take yours. He stops you from tugging, instead bringing them to rest on his jumper clad chest.

You swallow harshly.

“I’m going to help you, (Y/n)—“

“You can’t help me, Remus! I’m beyond help—“

“No, you’re not.” He retorts lightly. “I’ll help you with homework and help you ask for a few extensions...we can get you back on track.”

“Remus...” Your voice trembles at his kindness.

“I’m sorry.” He rasps out, a tear or two slipping from his waterline. “I’m so so sorry that I didn’t see you suffering like this. Merlin, (Y/n).”

Shaking his head at himself, he brings his forehead down to your own.

“I’ll be better. I’ll be better, I swear.” Remus keeps repeating in a pained mutter.

“It’s not your fault, Rem. I got good at acting like everything was fine.” Your voice cracks.

“Still! I should’ve realized!” He mutters angrily.

“I love you, Remus. I love you so much, please don’t beat yourself up over this.” You plead.

He bites his lip, deciding to drop it, instead focusing on you.

“Why don’t we try to relax, hm? Just take a nice night off?” Remus suggests, pulling away to brush strands of hair away from your sticky face.

“But what about homework—?”

“Tomorrow, love. I think we deserve a break, don’t you?”

You shlyly nod, and he presses his lips to your forehead.

“You’re beautiful, darling.” Remus whispers.

“I just bawled my eyes out, Rem, I’m sure I look like a swamp hag.” You snort.

He brings his hands to your shoulders, rubbing deep circles into your back muscles. The knots start to dissipate.

“Never seen a swamp hag as angelic as you.” Remus flirts. But his voice is so sincere and honest, you have no choice but to somewhat believe him.

“Thank you, Remus.” You smile. “It means so much to me.”

“Anything for the love of my life.” He confesses, trailing his pink lips down your neck. “Now let me hold you close.”

He lays down, resting his head on his pillow, your head resting on his chest.

Things are going to get better.

Probably not tomorrow.

Probably not this week.

But things will.

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20

[infinitegalahad]

YOUR PROMPTS ARE OPEN!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 im so excited this time has come! you know i'll probably send a few but for my first i'd like to request #'s 33 and 50 from the fluff prompts with my dear shifty, of course. mucho love 2 u!

A LITTLE PIECE OF HOME

Summary: Before your childhood friends Popeye and Shifty are shipped out, Popeye brings his new camera and decides to make some last minute memories. 

Word-Count: 1.9k 

Prompts: “can i keep it, the photo of us?” and “look at me.”

A/N: pearl, my love, my life-HI! your little request was beyond fun to write! this piece is short and sweet in (hopefully) all the right places-anything for you! shifty is our sweet sunshine boy and it was a pleasure to write for you. i hope you request more prompts soon my love-thanks you for being there for me. your messages always brighten my day. i hope you enjoy ❣️✨ 

Masterlist | Send In A Prompt!

It was the perfect day outside. In Virginia, it felt like summer all year round. But today was different-it was absolutely gorgeous. The sun shined bright as the heat burned down on your exposed shoulders with the sun making your skin become pink. The day seemed too perfect for it to end so soon.

You, Darrell, and Robert had been friends since the three of you were in diapers. You all grew up in a small tight-knit town; living down the same dirt road that went for miles on end, going to the same Sunday church and packed diner for pancakes and milkshakes, walked all over the train tracks, the three of you were conjoined at the hip. Wherever they went, you went with them.

Robert was the one who brought the group together. In second grade, Robert and Darrell had been playing during recess one day and saw you, sitting all by yourself with tears coming out of your big eyes and your hair and dress all covered in dirt. Darrell saw you and ran over. He didn’t know you, but he hated seeing other people sad-so not only were you crying, but Darrell burst into loud sobs, followed by Robert. When you had stopped crying, Darrell and Robert took you to their little play corner and got wet clothes, rubbing the dirt from your face. The boys in your school had been teasing you and kicked dirt in your direction, messing up the outfit your mama had made for you. While Darrell attempted to “make you pretty” again, he asked for your name and asked if you had any friends. Once you told him your name and that you had no friends, he said that he and Robert were your new friends from now on.

And they truly were.

Now the three of you we’re in your twenties-still living in that small town in Virginia. Each of you had changed in appearance. Popeye grew into his round-face, his thin hair receding, but his dimples and slurred accent still remaining the same. Shifty, well to you-he was handsome. He hadn’t changed one bit, but every day he got even more handsome to look at it. He grew from the sweetheart who cried with you in second grade to the boy who offered to take you platonically to prom since nobody was “in their right mind” to do so. The boy with the sun-tanned skin and comforting smile was your best friend and the love of your life. But how could you tell him? Almost every girl wanted him. Bless their hearts, but he was too shy for his own good-and so were you. Considering your experience with men, you decided it was best if you and Shifty would stay friends. The two of you had done some for nearly a decade. But as you got older, it got harder to contain those feelings. Whenever you looked at him, you felt like you were going to throw up your heart.

The three of you all believed that you would live in this town for the rest of your lives and until you were all old and real adults. But that all changed in an instant.

Robert and Shifty had signed up for the Paratroopers and we’re being shipped out to Toccoa early next morning. They had broken the news to you last night at Shifty’s house with his poor Ma, breaking into tears. Just like his ma, Shifty’s big eyes began to burst into tears, which made everybody cry. Whenever he got emotional, it always reminded you of a younger and more innocent Shifty, the one that never missed a single shot and loved nature. Your one, true friend who you could tell anything to, the one who knew your small quirks and deepest secrets. The one man that you loved more than anything in the world that was now slipping through your fingers.

In that very field you sat in, you stayed silent most of the time. Shifty had his rifles slung over his shoulders, donning light blue overalls as he and Popeye walked around, casually conversing about being Paratroopers. You hide behind the tall grass, slowly picking the petals off of a bright daisy, muttering to yourself. You watched his every move; his lips moving with a smile, his smooth skin glittering in the sun, and his chocolate brown hair becoming golden in the bright sun.

You had become so lost in your own little world that you didn’t even notice Shifty, standing right next to you. He poked your shoulder and saw you looked up with a confused face, progressing your surroundings.

“Y/n? You okay?” He asked, bending down with his hands on his knees. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

You looked up and subtle smiled to cover up your sadness. “I am, Darrell. Just a little sleepy.”

Darrell held out a free hand in front of your face, “Well, you wanna with me just a little?

You silently responded and took his hand, which lingered for longer than you wanted it to. His hands had been so worked, his skin remained as soft as silk. His fingertips finessed against your palm. The two of you walked side by side as you walked side by side, the sounds of the wind blowing through the tall grass filling the silent void.

Darrell was a little concerned by your quiet behavior. You were normally very energetic about him and Robert, but you were as silent as a mouse today. It was your last time truly with him and for Robert for one month, one year, who knew how long they would be gone for. Darrell maybe would never see you again, the small town the two of you grew up in, your bright smile. He wanted to see that every single day; whether that be waking up to you in the morning or having a little piece of you overseas.

Darrell was very in touch with his emotions, unafraid to conceal them. His ma always taught him to be honest, and that’s what he did best. So when you were down, he had to fix it before it was too late.

“Y/n?” He said in a low tone, turning over to see you, unresponsive as you looked down at your fiddling hands. You were hurting, and it broke his heart to see what. “Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

You were unresponsive as you kept your eyes down, your hands scrunching with the fabric of your flowy skirt. He had done nothing wrong-he never had done anything wrong to you ever. But it was hard to think that the next time you would hear from Shifty-it could be a military letter and announce that he had died a hero. Just another number in a never-ending war. And that you, a fool, never confessed how you felt to your childhood best friend.

Darrell stopped in his tracks and let out a soft sigh, tenderly grabbing your forehand to stop you as well. His free hand moved to the edge of your chin, gently tilting it sideways so you would make eye contact with him.

“Look at me,” Darrell politely requested, his voice shaky.

You followed his request and looked at him, seeing that he was fighting back tears. You weren’t the only one, which made you feel relieved and even sadder.

“Oh Darrell...you know if I start with my waterworks, you’ll be followed’ after,'' You remarked and let out a dry chuckle, masking the incoming tears. It was too late and a stray tear escaped from Shifty’s eye, his pink lips quivering as he was speechless.

Just like you had stated, two tears came from your eyes as you used a finger to wipe him away. “Told ya’ so. Look at us, just little kids.”

Darrell rested in your palm, rubbing against it like a cat would with a pillow. “Like it was yesterday. I remember washing the dirt from your cheeks so I could make you look pretty again. Don’t know why I ever said that-you still are pretty.”

You patted his cheeks as you lead his hands down into your own, squeezing them. Darrell and you stood in the open field, hands tangled with each other, the wind blowing against you as the grass tickled your bare feet. Not only did the humidity make you feel warm, but so did the growing heat in your cheeks.

“How do you tell someone you love them?” Darrell casually questioned to break the silence that was growing in the wind.

A smile crept on your face, “Just like your ma would say, you just gotta be honest with yourself.”

“Well, I think I love you. No, I don’t think. I know it.” Darell declared, holding your hands close to his chest. “I wanted to let you know. I didn’t wanna ever tell you.”

You tilted your heart and let out a dreamy sigh. “Oh, Darell...I…”

The sudden click and flash of a camera before blinded you and Shifty. You squint your eyes as they burned with flashes of white light as Shifty pulled you into his chest, his hands protectively resting on your lower back.

It was just Robert, holding his brand new camera over his eyes, his thin eyebrows raised and mouth wide open in shock. Instead of reacting, Shifty and you stayed close together, both red in the face along with Robert.

Robert took the photo out of the camera and shook it, tucking it into Shifty’s pocket. You opened your mouth to speak, but Robert beat you to it.

“I’ll leave you lovebirds to it,” Robert said as he turned around, walking away in a hurry, “I’ll see ya at the Power’s for supper-I hope.”

Once Robert had left, Shifty dug his fingers into his pocket to retrieve the photo. You leaned against his chest and observed the photo. Robert had caught the two of you in the middle of your confession, hands tangled as your eyes met. Both of you had smiles on your faces-and Darrell looked amazing-even if he was in black and white.

“That’s not a bad photo of you,” You complimented as you leaned into his nice smelling chest, “You looked handsome.”

“And you looked pretty-but you always do.” Shifty shot back, planting a kiss into your face. He observed the photo and then looked down at you to compare, a big smile appearing on his face like a child on Christmas morning. Shifty had found his answer, and it was not only right in front of him but in his fingertips.

“Can I keep it, this photo of us?” Darrell said in your hair as he shook the photo, “When I need a piece of home. I’ll give you my whole heart, anything you want, darlin’.”

You nodded your head, “Yes, you can. You don’t need to give me anything-but can I ask you something?”

“Yes, darlin’. Anything,” Darrell stated as he looked down at your adoringly. He looked like he wanted to give you the whole world in that moment, If he could have, he would have.

“We only got a night left together for a long time. Can we spend it all together? Just one night?”

Shifty flashed his bright smile and kissed each knuckle on your hand, leaving a small mark. “Yes ma’am.”

Once Shifty had neatly stored the cherished photograph of you into his breast project, the two of you grabbed each other's hands and walked down the gravel road, back to the Power’s residence for supper. You leaned against his shoulder, letting him lead you. Whenever Darrell had gone, you would follow along. You knew your last few hours together were short, but if it was your last time ever seeing Darell-you wanted to make the most of it.

[dreamonminecraft]

oh yes, tell me more about this beautiful lesbian slowburn. I’m a sucker for a good love story

Okay so to start off, My sexuality fluctuates greatly throughout this story, but as of now I identify as a Bisexual lithsexual lesbian, which means that I am attracted to lots of people but lose attraction when the feelings are reciprocated, and I'll only date girls.

The story starts off August of 2018. I was starting 6th grade (middle school) and didn't really have any friends aside from a few people that I had last talked to in 3rd grade.

It's important to know that I'm a GT kid and so I almost always have the same group of about 20 kids. This started when I changed to an all GT class for 4th grade.

While it's nice to have a comfortable learning environment, it also means that there's no escape from any drama, and you get to pick friends from the very small pool of kids that you'll spend the rest of your education with.

This is a pretty long story as well and I'm not sure I'll be able to accurately retell many of the things because dates get mixed up and stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna try my best to explain but these are really only the things from my point of view and I don't remember a lot of the things. (This is also gonna be written like a fanfic because that's all I know how to write, I apologise)

So start of sixth grade, I don't really have any friends, I'm kind of this awkward nerd, there's 2 people in my class (we switch classes like normal middle school, but I'm with the GT kids for most of the day so that's what I'll refer to them as) that I've known for years, a few I've met before, but mostly new people.

I sit by some old friends from volleyball at lunch for the first few days but begin to feel unwelcome. One day I decide to sit by these two people that I know are in GT but haven't talked to before. I don't say anything, but I sit and they don't mind.

The next day we get new seats in English. I'm behind a boy named Owen, Inara, who is one of the girls I sat with at lunch, is to my right, and in front of her is a girl named Emilyse.

Inara and I hit it off immediately.

It's kind of crazy because we're both crazy anxious introverts, but we gel nicely. I'm a boyband-obsessed 11 year old and she's a mature and mysterious 11 year old.

She's a lefty. I'm a righty. The way we've been placed makes us bump arms everytime we try to write anything.

We have every class together. Somehow, we sit next to each other in every class as well, even in the ones where we didn't pick our seating chart.

It's September. I cry over boybands. She watches curiously.

For the next couple of months we casually talk. She spends every lunch period in the library. We text occasionally.

I have another friend who takes priority. His name is Logan. We got introduced by his friend Lennox when she asked for my phone number to give to him.

Lennox and I don't talk. Logan and I text nonstop for months. We discuss possibly dating in the future. I identify as bisexual and biromantic at this point.

I've been in this position before. Having mainly guy friends growing up puts me in a lot of awkward friendship/relationship situations. They always end the same.

I have an issue with dating in middle school. You're not dating if you don't go on dates, hold hands, kiss, or cuddle. But you can feel like you are.

In December Logan starts being mean. We start a game where we step on each other's shoes at lunch or in the hallway. It's fun.

Eventually, he recruits his friends to do it to me, too. It's a joke a first, but eventually there are 10 middle school boys chasing me and trying to hurt me.

I get kicked in the hallway and fall. Someone steps on my arm and people laugh. Logan watches. I tell Inara and she steps on his shoe for me.

Logan and I stop talking. Inara and I hang out more. By early January, Inara has stopped going to the library at lunch. We hang out with Emilyse in the field instead.

I text Logan one day in mid January and ask why we fell out. He says that I told someone that I was going to punch him in the face.

The person he said I told, only talked to me at the bus stop, and he didn't ride my bus. I had never said it in the first place, but his logic made it even more frustrating.

I tell him I got scared because I had a crush on him and didn't want to make things weird. It was a lie.

In February I came out to someone for the first time. They asked if I was bi and I said yes.

By March I had accepted that coming out didn't really make a difference. Inara and I hung out at school but not really anywhere else.

My birthday's in April. I invite her, Emilyse, and Rebekah. We paint rocks and draw on a table cloth. Emilyse feels distant.

Emilyse is homophobic. We find out in English one day. I don't remember how. Inara and I look at each other. We know we're both queer but haven't come out to each other.

I ask Emilyse if she would hate someone in GT for coming out. She says yes. Inara and I stop talking to her.

By May I've become obsessed with Marvel. Inara's interested in it and I decide to be, too. We talk about the movies. It gets awkward. She's not as interested when I get in on it.

By June we're best friends. We hang out fairly regularly, have all our classes together, and text all the time. Logan is forgotten.

School lets out at the start of June. We keep texting regularly. We make plans to see the new spiderman movie in early July with one of our other friends.

I have a complicated relationship with said friend. They're non-binary, although I didn't know it yet, and I've known them since Kindergarten. Inara met them in an advisory this year. I get jealous easily.

The day of the movie I shop at Kohl's. I buy the two of us matching shirts. We meet at the movie theater and it's awkward. I pay for popcorn and sneak in snacks that we share. Our friend's dad is there, but Inara and I don't have parents present.

We sit next to each other during the movie. At a certain scene, I start to get anxious. My stomach hurts and I can't breathe, I start to get sweaty.

I get up and rush out of the theater. I get to the women's bathroom and sit down on the floor of the very last stall. I'm panicing, dry heaving into the toilet, and trying not to cry. I try to text my mom that I'm having a panic attack but don't have reception.

I go back into the theater room after a few minutes. I'm still anxious, but better. Our friend is highly concerned, Inara just glances at me worriedly.

It's my first panic attack, and it sucked.

We leave awkwardly after it ends, trying to avoid the obvious elephant in the room. My mom is concerned when she picks me up. We don't talk about it. My dad and brother are watching it illegally when I get home.

We don't see each other until August of 2019, but continue to text through the rest of the summer.

When 7th grade starts, I'm still into Marvel. I've seen all the movies at this point, but there haven't been any new ones (even now) since FFH. Inara's interested, but not fully.

In late August/Early September we take BuzzFeed quizzes for fun and text each other the results. I take one about soulmates. I get her initials. I send her the link. She gets mine.

We take more and they all point to us being soulmates. We propose by sending pictures of rings over text. The wedding date is set for September 28th, 2019.

The time comes. It's Saturday and my brother has a double football game. We've planned to pick her up and take her there. It's a Christian league, so the games are at a church.

We go to the garden. There's a small white bench in some rocks, surrounded by flowers. We joke that we've had our ceremony. We wander around for a while longer.

My dad suggests that we go to the taco bell across the parking lot. We do. When we're done, we walk back to my house. Its not far, but we're alone. I carry her halfway back.

When we get to my house we pick things from my garden. We're barefoot and I'm wearing overalls. I joke that we're gonna get a farm one day when we're older.

She picks things while I stand back and watch. The sun hits her dyed-red hair just right. I vividly remember smiling at thinking "holy fuck she's pretty" you would think I'd put together my crush by then.

October rolls around and she cancels plans to go trick-or-treating with me. I'm upset but understand.

We "work" on a school project at her house. We don't actually get anything done before cuddling up on her bed and falling asleep to black panther.

In November, it's Emilyse's birthday party. We've gotten distant but still talk occasionally. Inara and I both go to the party.

We're watching Spiderman Far From Home because that's what Emilyse wanted. I've seen in twice, Ianra has too.

We're given candy and popcorn and then curl up on the couch. Inara and I sit next to each other.

(I forgot to mention this but at some point she stayed the night at my house. She slept on the floor in her swimming suit even though I asked if she wanted to sleep on the bed. Swimming was fun though. We also go to an arcade. We mini-golf and play laser tag. We also danced in the rain together at some point that day.)

Once we're no more than 15 minutes into the movie, I'm cuddled into her chest. It's important to mention that at this point I'm 5'6 and she's no more than 5'0.

We cuddle the entire movie. We share candy and pretend no one else is there. It feels great.

We don't talk about that night for months. Nobody brings it up. I come out to Rebekah around this time, saying no more than that I like girls. I still haven't told Inara.

By December, I've brought her to church a few times. I don't enjoy going to church, but my parents always encouraged it.

(I'd like to say at this point as well that I have been raised Christian and identify with the faith despite the fact that I despise Church and disagree with many of the common teachings. If I ever had to choose for some reason, my sexuality matters more to me than my religion. Regardless, I respect your beliefs if they differ from mine :) )

Inara's birthday is in mid December. Her party consists of us making gay jokes with our enby friend despite not being technically out to each other.

My church youth group plans ice skating. I invite her and she accepts. I'm worried about it. It's essentially a date. Neither of our parents will be there.

We carpool with the youth leaders, who are actually pretty cute for a hetero couple. Inara and I share awkward glances the whole time.

When we get there I learn that Inara took ice skating lessons as a child. She's much more confident than I am, but pretends she doesn't know what she's doing. I skate about once or twice a season, but also rollerblade.

There's a wet, sloped, melty part of the rink. I get nervous and grab her hand. She holds it until we're out of the melted ice.

Every lap around I grab her hand at that point. Eventually, we just keep holding hands for an entire lap.

By the end of the night, we've both fallen a few times but held hands the whole time. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

That night, I rant about the adventure to one of my (ex)friends, who excitedly listens to my talk about holding hands with a girl.

There's a GT Christmas party at Hannah's. Inara and I carpool there. It's an all together boring party with the exception of a few interesting truth-or-dare questions.

(side note, remember Owen? Well he's one of Inara and I's best friends and we were actually close enough that the three of us were basically cuddling on the couch during part of the party. Also the whole class knows about Inara and I's wedding and calls us wives.)

Paislie asks me if I wanted to "marry" Inara before we got "married". I mumble an answer that nobody hears. I don't repeat it. When it's time to leave, Inara and I have our legs intertwined on the couch. We don't mention that, either. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

January is good. There's a night, the 4th I believe, that we really connect. We officially come out to each other for the first time on that night, and it gets really real, really fast.

She says she's pan, I say I'm bi but confused.

In mid January she texts me that she's crying because one of her favorite YouTubers finally hit a million. She cries for hours but never tells me who. I pay it no mind.

A few days later, she mentions a YouTube channel called Unus Annus and tells me that it's super interesting. I text back but don't look it up.

A few more days pass and I'm randomly on the trending page for YouTube, which I never do. I see a video trending called "Mark and Ethan go casket shopping". The thumbnail is interesting enough that I check what the channel is. I notice it's the one Inara told me about.

I watch the video and subscribe within 5 minutes. I text Inara quotes from that video, Ethan Finally Becomes a Man, and the Lie Detector test videos, until she responds and is surprised that I found the channel.

I obsess quickly and depend on her to know the new video at 1pm everyday. She gets annoyed and we drift apart slowly.

In February things get rocky. We fight often. If I win a small argument she doesn't talk to me for hours. She gets pissed at refuses to tell me what the Unus Annus video is called if I ask too many times.

At some point I get fed up and confront her. I don't remember what about, but we stop talking all together.

Friends pick sides. I'm left alone. We don't talk for a month. She tells me that she pushed me away because she thought I'd react badly to her telling me she loves me.

I confess my crush. She tells me she feels the same.

We finally make up at about 8:30 on a Sunday night in March. It's not fixed but we plan to talk. And 9:00, the school district announces that it's shutting down until least after spring break.

We stopped trying to communicate, but eventually, slowly we started talking again. We text a few times a day now, mostly about UA and anxiety, the best combo.

We haven't seen each other since. We're probably going back to school in person in about a month, but I'm not sure. Nobody is.

I've called her my girlfriend on here before, simply because I don't know what we are. I joked the other day about how the youth leaders would react if I said I was texting my girlfriend.

Here's how that went:

So we're just jokingly married for now! It's a confusing pile of garbage but we both came out as lesbians the other day so that's a new development.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but I'll answer any questions anybody has :)

[masatoswife]

navy blue

The scent of nostalgia fills your chest the moment you press the fabric against your face, instinctively digging your nose deeper into the cloth. Just briefly, you think you can smell a whiff of the citrusy, floral detergent he always uses... but it vanishes into thin air just as quickly as it appeared, leaving you unable to give it more thought. Not that you would have, though. There’s a scent you find far more appealing; one that, unmistakably, can only remind you of him. 

How long has it been? Four, five years, since you last saw the way this sweater sloppily accentuates his figure. You picture his brilliant, back-then-seldom smile in front of you, encouraging a single tear to leave a warm trail on your cheek before it soaks itself into the garment still plastered to your face. Why am I…? It can’t be a happy tear, it certainly isn’t a sad one, either. But still, you feel like crying, recalling the particular feeling in your chest when you were granted the chance to see past his demeanor, and view the kindness that was almost desperately spilling over the edges of his heart. 

That was when you fell in love with him. That was when you decided you wanted to dedicate yourself and do everything you could to be able to see more of what was carefully sparking inside of him. That was when... you would have never dared to dream of the fact that that has become a reality now. Right now, he’s shining stronger than ever.

You pull the sweater away from yourself and lay it out on your lap, absently counting the loose stitches that have accumulated over the years. “He must have outgrown it a little by now,” you sigh to yourself, rubbing your thumb over the wet stain you’ve left. I stained it, what a waste… Now he probably has to wash it again, too… “Haha…” A bittersweet smile. “...I’m sorry, Masato.”

“You called, Boo?” A familiar face peeks around the bedroom door that was only left half open, and you jolt up. By no means was it your intention to be found in this state, with your tears still drying on your cheeks. And yet, there he is, his concern easily readable from the way his eyebrows pull together and his lips slightly part. He pushes the door further open with his elbow and carries in the laundry basket that is keeping his hands occupied, setting it down on the far, foot-end of the mattress. As a matter of course, his body follows.

“Did you find it in the laundry?” he asks dryly, obviously referring to the sweater. He must have already known the answer, but you feel grateful he’s allowing you to ease into conversation this way. Big questions have always kind of scared you. He knows you well.

“Mhm. ...I saw it drying. It’s probably kind of dirty again, I shouldn’t have taken it. Sorry.” As if to say ‘don’t worry’ and reassure you it’s fine, he lifts the corners of his lips into a smile and leads his arm to your back, massaging it with the big palm of his hand. The silence feels comforting right now, so you use it to take a breather before breaking it with your burning curiosity.

“Were you planning on wearing it again?” Your eyes are glued back down onto the garment. “I was just thinking how you probably grew out of it… It must’ve been at least a few years since I last saw it.”

“Actually…” His lips purse together before he confesses. “I was thinking of donating a few of my old clothes. I felt our wardrobe could use a clean-up, which is why—” Your puffy eyes grow big, and a large lump starts to form in your throat. 

“D-Donate? You want to donate this sweater?! But…” But… You honestly don’t really know what you thought you were going to say. Were you going to tell him about your huge sentimental attachment to a piece of clothing? One that is not even yours? Thoughts seem difficult to put in order right now, so instead, you firmly hold his hand, grip loosening when he withdraws his other hand from your back to place it on yours again. 

“I was considering it. I haven’t made the decision yet.” His tone feels severe. Somehow… the intensity of it feels soothing, and you instantly feel calmer than before.�� “Besides… You seem to be quite fond of it, don’t you?” Ah, checkmate. 

“I-I guess so…” you declare. You swing your legs back and forth, your heels hitting against the panel of the bed every so often. Is this where I tell him? “Honestly,” you continue, unsatisfied with your previous answer, “saying I’m fond would be putting it lightly… I feel like this sweater helps me look back. If… that makes sense.”

“Look back… On the days we’ve spent at the Academy? I cannot deny it arises feelings of nostalgia…”

“Mhm, those days… I think in particular, it helps me view the overall image of your growth. I feel proud, seeing this sweater again.” A smile lights up your face anew, and you hug the clothing closer against you. “It reminded me that my biggest wish has come true. I wanted you to be more confident, and see more of your smile. More of… well, you. And right now…” Your eyes flutter. “I think I’ve finally gotten to see all of you.”

To that, he only chuckles. Although refreshing, you can’t quite put your finger on it, but currently you won’t bother asking. 

“Could you hand me the sweater?” Masato suddenly asks. After you comply, he unfolds it and holds it up in the air, hovering it in front of your body. A sigh of admiration leaves his lips, and his face seems to relax. 

 “Come here.” 

Before you realize it, he’s rolled up the sweater, lifted it above your head, and gently positioned it around your neck with his delicate fingers, similar to a scarf. He then raises one of the sleeves, gesturing for you to move your arm inside... And that’s when your cheeks start turning pink. You realize… you’re being dressed. So far, you’ve done many things together, like brushing each other’s hair, massaging each other’s shoulders… you’ve even worn his clothes before. But you’ve never been dressed. 

“Ah. It looks best on you, after all,” he whispers as he huddles closer. Both your eyes meet, and they don’t leave each other for a while. “This sweater is yours now, Boo. If my growth is evident through this piece of clothing, I’m certain it can do you a favor alike.” His eyes seem narrower. Two fingers curl through some locks of hair at the top of your head, and brush your fringe back a few times over. “From here on, I believe it is your turn to outgrow it. In the end…” He pauses and you blink twice, but you’re left with no time to question it, when he finally presses a kiss against your forehead.

“I also want to see my wish come true.”

[writing-for-amusement]

Commission for Confidence, 2

Summary:  Y/N has been struggling with her self esteem for years. After incessant pushing from your best friend, Y/N decides to commission an artist to draw her, expecting everything to happen via Internet. However, when your phone is stolen, you try to cancel the commission, but Peter Parker has other ideas. He quickly becomes enraptured by you, and a friendship forms easily. Will it lead to something more? Or will your past fears get in the way?

A/N: Okay, this chapter is necessary, but almost considered filler because you still haven’t met Peter yet. I’m probably going to post Chapter 3 in a couple of hours because I’m impatient and since it’s already written, why not, right? Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @scatterbrainedgenius

Chapter Two

The next day ended up being much more hectic than you had anticipated. You woke up on time, but due to typical New York rain, your walk was littered with slips and multiple splashes. Not only that, your train ran late, and you were groped a surprising three times.

It was not a good day and it hadn’t even started yet.

You strode into work, dripping wet and with a mud stain on the bottom of your skirt and across your legs, but with your head held high.

You enjoyed your work as an editor for a publishing company. You’d moved from home to settle down in Manhattan for this job (though you were living in Queens); you had your own office with a view, and you were doing something you enjoyed. You got to read the fiction works and decide if it was good enough to move on and become a book (sometimes you got to help artists organize their works into a book). It was lovely for you, a wonderful job to have at what was considered a “young” age.

You dropped your bag on your desk and hurried to the break room. Arthur, a friend you had made immediately upon arrival, was refilling his coffee cup. He looked up at you and grinned, but that changed into concern when he saw your haggard appearance.

“Jesus, love, what happened? Shall I call up Charlie and have him bring you some clean clothes? They’ll be too big, of course, but—”

“It’s fine, Arthur!” you laughed, grabbing the coffee mug you had put into the break room. You poured yourself a large cup and just the smell started to warm your cold bones. “I’ll dry off soon enough.”

“This isn’t your old job, you know you can go home to change and won’t be punished, right?” Arthur asked with a chuckle on his lips.

You threw a sugar packet at him. “I know that, it’s not like I’m new here anymore! Besides, if I get sick, it’s not going to cost me a kidney and a leg because we have insurance.”

“No, it won’t do that,” he agreed as he picked up the packet.

“I’m getting to work,” you informed him, clutching the mug of coffee in your hands and scuttering to your office.

Work happened to be incredibly busy. There were more than thirty transcripts on your desk to work on, several of them rather thick. You actually ended up skipping lunch, instead snacking on an apple you had shoved in your purse before leaving your apartment. Of course, you were reminded of how you worked yourself to the bone when you first arrived at this job.

With the stressful echoes of your horrible old job ringing in your mind, you had worked harder than ever to prove yourself in NYC. Your supervisor was quick to notice how you showed up early and stayed late, reading and marking more than anyone. She pulled you aside, kindly informing you that she knew you were capable, otherwise you wouldn’t have been hired for the job. She also told you to “calm the fuck down” and that, “no one is judging you here, my dear.” It had been incredibly helpful to your adjustment.

Truth be told, you had wanted to hide from your horrible morning. When the day got off to such a rough start, you liked to hide yourself in the transcripts so that you could focus on potentially bolstering the dreams of the authors.

As it neared time to go home, your supervisor appeared at your door. “Hey, Y/N, go ahead and go home. I know you showed up soaked, you deserve an early start to the weekend. Go on, go.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go, Edith, I’ll go,” you sighed playfully. She smiled at you and blew a small kiss before walking off.

Knowing that it would be a simple night in for you, you grabbed some transcripts to look at over the weekend. With that, and your coffee mug washed, you walked out of the office and into the Manhattan late afternoon sunlight.

It was a calmer commute back to your apartment. At least, it was until you got home.

Your phone was gone.

It must have been taken while you were on the subway, even though you tried so hard to remain vigilant. Knowing New York City, it was gone forever now, and you needed to get to work on not letting people get your information from it.

You logged on to your laptop and quickly went to your phone provider, going through the steps outlined in the “Stolen Phone” section. Losing your phone was not ideal, but you had a plan that covered this situation, so it could have been worse. And, thankfully, you had just backed your phone up to the cloud when you were at work.

After filling out the proper steps, you went to your email inbox and sent out a mass email to your colleagues, letting them know that your phone had been stolen and to email you if they needed anything over the weekend. It was then that you remembered your plan to take reference photos for Peter.

With a sigh, you realized that it would be a better idea to postpone the commission than to keep the seemingly sweet Peter waiting. You began to compose your email, once again thinking too much and taking probably too long for what should have been a simple email. Still, you ended up with this:

“Hi Peter,

I am so sorry, but today my phone was stolen thanks to the ever so amazing New York City subway. I unfortunately do not have another way to take reference photos (none of my friends are available), and I don’t want to fill a spot for your commission that won’t be able to be finished for a while, because my phone is being shipped and won’t be in for about a week. Therefore, so I don’t waste your time, I need to cancel the commission. I’m sorry if I did waste your time.

Thank you for your understanding, Peter. Perhaps I can commission you (for realsies) in the future. I still love your art, btw.

Y/N”

With a deep sigh, you ran a hand through your hair and sent Monica a message on Facebook, explaining the situation. She, of course, sent back multiple sad face emojis, but was overall understanding. Then she offered to hunt down whoever stole your phone and beat them up for making you stressed, which made you laugh.

You ordered some Thai food so that you wouldn’t have to make anything. After the day you’d had, the last thing you wanted was to get sweaty from standing over the hot stove.

As you settled into your couch to wait, with your laptop open next to you so you could message Monica, you got a notification for another email. You saw it was from Peter, and a melancholy smile touched your face.

“Hi Y/N!

Omg you live in the NYC area too??? In that case, if you’re comfortable with it, we could actually do your stuff in person! Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course, and I’d like to meet for coffee before we begin. Getting to know my muse is my favorite part of commissions; usually I just ask questions via email, but this way, we both get coffee!!

Please let me know if you’d be interested in meeting up for coffee in Manhattan this weekend; I think it would be very beneficial.

Thanks, and (hopefully) see you soon!

Peter”

You blinked in surprise after reading the email fifteen times.

Peter was certainly passionate about art and about coffee. Though you didn’t blame him, because as an artist who went through a prestigious university, Peter probably lived almost solely on the beverage for four years. You debated whether you should take him up on his offer, because, well, you did want to meet him.

You were still thinking about it when you turned on your TV and selected the HULU app. You were still thinking about it when you picked a random episode of The Golden Girls. And you were still thinking about it when you answered your door for your takeout.

Finally, as you began to dig into your food, you made your decision. With your takeout container in one hand, you replied to Peter’s email with the other. You suggested your favorite coffee shop, Constellation Bakery and Café, and suggested meeting tomorrow. The ambiance was calm and friendly, so you thought it would be a good meeting place.

After informing Monica of the change in plans, you ate your Thai takeout with a vigor you didn’t know you had. The food was exceptionally delicious today, and the cooks always gave you extra shrimp in your shrimp pad Thai. The comforting food warmed you to the core, and you felt a lot more relaxed than you had in days, even weeks.

Before you went to bed, you got a reply from Peter, agreeing to meet with you at the coffee shop at 1 p.m. With an excited smile on your face, you actually fell asleep easily.

[ironwoman359]

Becoming unusually clumsy and fumbling simple tasks. Logicality ( I love all of your amazing works)

Too Close for Comfort 

Summary: This is for @sugarglider9603​‘s Mario AU, cuz I’ve had it on my mind and I love it so much. Patton is kidnapped yet again by Bowceit, King of the Koopas, but the Super Bros Logan and Virgil are there to save the day. So why does Patton still feel so wrong?

Content Warnings: Kidnapping, being tied up/gagged, cartoon violence, cartoon villain Deceit, crying, dealing (poorly, at first) with emotions. Logicality, side Prinxiety. Word Count: 2,226 (This got longer than I meant it to be, oops.)

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“Do you, King Bowceit, take Prince Patton to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

“I do,” Bowceit said with a chuckle. 

“And do you, Prince Patton, take King Bowceit to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

Patton didn’t answer, but that was probably because he was tied up too tightly to move and had a gag stuffed in his mouth. A hammer bro next to him grabbed his hair, trying to force his head to nod yes. 

Suddenly, the door slammed open and the air filled with heat as a fireball soared through the chapel, colliding with the hammer bro and blasting him away. Patton’s knees nearly buckled in relief as Logan stormed into the room with fury in his eyes, Virgil hot on his heels. 

Bowceit hissed, and pulled a lever that was next to the altar. The floor beneath Patton’s feet dropped away, and he fell into a dark abyss. He squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for a hard landing, but before he hit the floor someone reached out and caught hold of the end of the ropes that were wrapped around his arms. He peeked out through one eyelid just in time to see Bowceit Jr. toss him into a cage with a chain hooked over the top. The little snake pulled another lever, and hopped on top of the cage as it rose back up out of the pit and high above the party’s heads. 

“Good luck getting to your Precious Prince Patton now!” Bowceit cackled, and from his new vantage point, Patton could see Logan staring up at him desperately. Patton tried to send him an encouraging smile, but he wasn’t sure how much of it translated through the gag. He saw Virgil tug on Logan’s shoulder, and the brother’s must’ve said something to each other that Patton was too far away to hear, because they suddenly sprung into action. 

Logan ran forward and threw a pair of fireballs at Bowceit, knocking him off kilter. Virgil dashed after him and jumped, landing squarely on the snake man’s head. Logan then spun around in a roundhouse kick, his foot colliding solidly with Bowceit’s backside. The koopa king went flying into the air, Virgil hanging on for dear life. At the peak of Bowceit’s arc, Virgil pushed off, using the snake’s head as a springboard to enhance his own jump height. 

Even with all of that, and with Virgil being the better jumper of the two plumbers, he only barely managed to catch the lip of Patton’s cage with one hand, and for a few tense seconds Patton couldn’t breathe as Virgil scrambled desperately for purchase. But the plumber managed to find his grip, and after a moment Virgil pulled himself up with a grunt, flashing the prince a grin. 

“Good afternoon, Your Highness,” he said, reaching through the bars of the cage to pull off Patton’s gag. Patton giggled, then coughed, trying to get the taste of rope out of his mouth.

“Oh boy, Virgil, am I glad to see you. For a minute there I thought–” Patton was cut off by Bowceit Jr. as the child leapt forward, trying to throw Virgil back down to the ground. Patton held his breath as the two tussled for a moment, but Virgil was easily stronger than the little snake, and after a moment a cry of surprise could be heard from below as Bowceit Jr. landed on his father’s head.

Virgil grinned, and pulled a key from his overalls pocket. A moment later, the cage was unlocked and Patton was rubbing feeling back into his newly freed limbs. 

Bowceit roared when he saw that his prize was once again escaping his clutches, and he summoned a giant fireball to throw, but Logan grabbed his tail from behind, swinging him around and forcing his attention to remain on the ground for a few moments longer. 

“I need to help him,” Virgil said as he took the rope that had a few moments ago been keeping Patton captive and secured it to the bars of the now open cage. “You’re going to have to climb down yourself, alright?” 

Patton nodded, taking the end of the rope that Virgil offered him. The plumber gave him a quick, encouraging smile, then he turned and jumped down, landing with a perfect kick to the back of Bowceit’s head just before the lizard managed to push Logan off into a pit of lava that was conveniently located right behind the altar in the wedding chapel. 

Patton swallowed, peering down at the scene below him. Virgil was now fighting off the last of the minions who had bothered to stay this long, and Logan was spinning Bowceit around by the tail again. He let go, sending the kidnapper careening into the wall, which shook the whole building. Patton yelped as the cage trembled, catching him off balance. He found himself mirroring Virgil’s position from only a few moments ago, hanging on for dear life to the door of the cage as it swung back and forth. 

“Patton!” he heard Logan shout from below, and despite the danger, Patton couldn’t help the butterflies that leapt in his stomach everytime Logan said his name. “Hang on, Patton!” Logan called again, and Patton squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to look down. 

Get me down, he silently begged. Get me down, get me down, get me down…

“Patton, can you pull yourself up?” Logan urged him. 

Patton tried, he honestly did. But when he shifted his grip, he felt himself slipping, and he froze, fear spiking through his heart. 

“I–I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t, I–” 

“Okay, okay then. It’s okay, honey,” Logan soothed, and Patton managed to peak open an eye to glance down at him. The enemies were gone, Bowceit was out cold in the corner, and Logan’s full attention was up on Patton. “If you can’t pull yourself up, then you’ll have to let go, okay?” 

“W-what?” Patton choked out, but Logan held out his arms. 

“I’ll catch you sweetheart, I promise. Do you trust me?” 

Patton nodded. 

“Of course…of course I do, Logan.” 

“Then let go, baby.” 

Patton squeezed his eyes shut, then let go of the cage. For a terrifying moment, he was falling through the air, then he felt Logan’s arms catch him bridal style, solid and safe and secure. Patton’s arms went around Logan on instinct, and he buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck. 

“Thank you,” he whispered as Logan pressed a kiss to his hair. 

“Let’s go home, m’kay?” Logan murmured. Patton nodded, nestling deeper into Logan’s hold. 

The plumbers and the prince left Bowceit’s kingdom, and headed back towards their home. Usually, Patton would listen to Logan tell him stories of his and Virgil’s adventures on their way to rescue him, but the next thing he knew Logan was softly saying his name, and he was waking up to Logan setting him on the front lawn of his castle, back in the Mushroom Kingdom. 

“H-huh? When did we–” 

“You fell asleep before we’d even reached Dry Dry Desert. You seemed so exhausted, so we didn’t want to wake you.” 

Patton nodded blearily, wiping sleep from his eyes. He looked around for a moment, then frowned. 

“Where’s Virgil?” 

“He stayed in Sarasaland with Roman. Ro worries while he goes off on adventures like this, but you know Virgil. He insisted Roman stay behind when we went to get you.” Logan smiled fondly. “He’ll probably be by tomorrow to check on you, he was very upset when we realized you’d gone missing again.” 

Something heavy lodged itself in Patton’s heart at the word again, but he smiled and nodded. 

“It will be good to see him after all that, I missed him.” He smiled up at Logan. “I missed you too, Lo-Lo.” 

Logan blushed, and Patton laughed. He never tired of seeing his boyfriend get embarrassed; he was the absolute cutest thing Patton had ever seen. He leaned up and kissed him on the lips, giggling at the surprised noise the came before Logan pulled himself together enough to kiss back. Patton pulled away and smiled, expecting to feel himself grow lighter than air, like he did whenever he kissed Logan, but something was still sitting unpleasantly in his gut. He almost frowned, but Logan was smiling down at him and he pushed the unpleasant feeling away. 

“How about we go bake a cake?” Patton suggested. Logan agreed, and Patton nodded to himself. Yes, baking. That would get rid of this strange weight he was still feeling right? Baking always calmed him down. 

The two of them went to Patton’s kitchen, and on autopilot Patton started pulling out supplies and ingredients. He’d baked in this kitchen so many times, he didn’t even have to think about what he was doing, so it was surprising when he found himself fumbling with his measuring cups. 

“Whoops!” he giggled as he dropped his wooden spoon. “Wooden you know, I’m being very clumsy today!” 

Logan raised an eyebrow at him, but Patton breezed past, opening his tin of flour and scooping out a few cups. He ended up missing the bowl on his second pass, and flour scattered across his counter. 

“Oopsie! If I keep making mistakes like this, this cake will take flours to bake!” He grinned over at Logan, but Logan wasn’t smiling. Patton shook his head and pushed ahead. He tried to crack an egg into a bowl. 

“Patton…” 

The egg fell to the ground, and Patton stared down at the splattered mess on the floor. 

“Ha ha…I just…can’t catch a bake today, c-can I?” he chuckled softly. Patton made to turn away again, but Logan caught his shoulder, and slowly turned him around, forcing them to face each other. 

“Patton?” Logan’s voice was like his eyes, soft and gentle and full of concern, and something inside Patton broke. 

He choked on a sob, and Logan caught him easily as he pitched forward, clutching his boyfriend’s shirt as he cried. Logan rocked the two of them back and forth, stroking Patton’s hair, rubbing gentle circles on his back. Patton felt more than heard the words of comfort that Logan was murmuring into his hair, and his heart ached with…something, he wasn’t sure what. 

Sadness? Love? Guilt? Some strange combination of the three that Patton couldn’t describe, but couldn’t stand? That sounded right. He sobbed again, and he felt Logan press a kiss to his forehead. That only made the feeling worse. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and Logan shook his head, kissing Patton again. 

“No, honey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“I do though,” Patton insisted, pulling away from Logan’s embrace just enough to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. “I…I’ve been kidnapped loads of times, it’s silly that…that this time would make me this upset…” 

“It’s a perfectly understandable reaction, Patton. You…” Logan’s hold on him stiffened slightly, and Patton knew that meant Logan was angry. “You should not have to be so accustomed to being placed in danger. It is alright to be upset if Bowceit takes you.” Logan wiped a tear from Patton’s cheek with his thumb, and smiled gently. “Especially today, I know how much you dislike heights. It’s perfectly alright to be shaken– what is it, dear?” 

Patton could only shake his head, fresh tears spilling from his eyes. 

“It…it’s not the heights…” he managed to choke out. “It….” he looked away, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Patton?” 

“It’s…it’s silly, forget it…”

“Patton.” Logan caught Patton’s hand, and Patton looked up, meeting Logan’s eyes. “Do you trust me?” 

Patton’s breath caught in his throat, and he nodded. 

“Of course…of course I do, Logan.” 

“Then let go, baby.” 

Patton sighed, and looked down. 

“I…he just…he got so close that time, Logan.” His voice was barely above a whisper, and Logan frowned, leaning forward. 

“What?” 

“In…in the chapel. With Bowceit…he got…it was…so close…” 

Logan’s eyes widened with understanding, and he pulled Patton close again, letting the prince hide his face in his overalls. 

“Oh, Patton honey. I’m so sorry,” he whispered. 

“I…I almost thought…t-that you wouldn’t m-make it in time,” Patton admitted, and he felt Logan’s arms tighten around him. 

“Patton, I will always come for you, you know that right?” 

Patton nodded immediately, wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist. 

“I know you will Lo, I never doubted that for a second. But…just…what if you…if you’d been too late?” 

Logan paused for a moment, and Patton looked up at him, suddenly feeling very small. 

“I…Patton, I want more than anything to promise that I will never ever let that happen,” Logan started. “But…realistically–” 

“You can’t,” Patton whispered, laying his head on Logan’s chest. “I know.” 

“But even if the absolute worst should happen,” Logan continued, his voice like steel. “I will never stop coming after you, I will never stop fighting for you, and I will never stop loving you. That I can promise, and no matter what happens Patton, I will never break that promise.” 

“I know you won’t.” Patton looked up and smiled, a small, but real smile, and Logan smiled back. “I know you won’t, Logan.” 

“I love you so much, my prince,” Logan murmured, and Patton giggled. 

“And I love you, my hero.” 

They leaned towards each other, and this time when their lips met, Patton felt a little lighter. 

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A/n: So if you guys haven’t seen @sugarglider9603‘s Mario AU yet, what are you doing with your lives? Check it out, it’s absolutely adorable. Her art is SO good and cute and nice, and there’s headcanon posts, other stories people have written, and all kinds of stuff! It’s got so much fluff, but just enough angst or hurt/comfort for those of us who like to watch our favorite characters suffer before the hugs begin. I’ve been having trouble being creative lately, but I really enjoyed writing for this AU, I think writing for a universe that’s not mine is very freeing creatively? I dunno if that makes sense, but yeah. Either way, this was super fun to write, hope it was fun to read! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in my writing, and I’ll add you to my list! 

-Taylor

[bts-fantasy]

Talk to Me

Requested by @nathansha1803 😁 I hope you like it✨💜

(Songs: Jamais Vu, Best Of Me, Dead Leaves)

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon parked his car in the gravelly driveway sighing deeply as he shut the door with a loud noise. He was already exhausted but thinking about going home sounded even more tiring to him for some reason. He looked up at the big house that he shared with you.

Moving in together with the girl of his dreams had always been his personal goal but now the building in front of him didn‘t even feel like his home anymore.

Reluctantly he turned the key and opened the front door to his house trying not to draw any attention. It wasn‘t like he didn‘t want to see you, not at all. Honestly, there wasn‘t anyone else he‘d rather see than you. But how he missed seeing the look in your eyes when you first confessed your love to him again. It was killing him inside.

You were watching your favorite tv show when you heard the car door slam shut outside and you knew it had to be him. Closing your eyes you tried not to think of all the bad things that had been haunting your mind lately and focused on the screen in front of you. You didn‘t move even when the front door opened and you could hear Namjoon kick off his shoes carelessly in the hallway.

He had a bad day again and you knew it right away. It wouldn‘t take long for him to leave the house to meet up with his friends and go down to the bar. It has become a habit of his to get drunk on weekdays and it was honestly getting too much to bear. He didn‘t want to listen to your advice and he didn‘t want to tell you what‘s wrong either. Every time you took a step towards him and tried to understand him he took two steps back and then accused you of not loving him anymore.

And to be honest, you didn‘t know if that was just an assumption anymore.

„I‘m going out.“

The door got slammed shut and you flinched. You tried to swallow down the big lump you felt in your throat telling yourself to calm down again. The number of tears you‘d shed over this was getting ridiculously high and you felt worn out. You had no more strength to carry on and you knew you couldn‘t keep on trying to save someone who didn‘t want to be saved.

So you stood up and walked into your shared bedroom to get your things. Entering the room you stared at the bed for a few minutes reminding yourself of all the happy memories you two had shared only to remember how they had slowly turned into sad ones leaving you to shiver on one end of the bed while the other often remained cold.

With a sigh, you started packing your things while holding back the tears that were blurring your sight. You thought it would be a good idea to stay with your family back in your hometown for a couple of days before deciding your next step. It could even be possible that you‘ll never return to this home again, you thought bitterly.

Without any hesitation, you left through the front door wanting to leave everything behind.

Meanwhile, Namjoon was already sipping on his third drink trying to forget the hard day he had at work. He wanted to drink until he couldn‘t feel the emptiness inside of him anymore. But whenever he closed his eyes your beautiful face came into his mind and he felt the void inside of him grow bigger and bigger.

She doesn‘t love me anymore.

The inner voice spoke again and he took another long sip to shut it out. His habit of drinking his pain away was getting out of control and he knew that.

„Hey man, I think you should go home.“

Seokjin looked at him with a concerned look. He had never seen Namjoon getting this drunk before and his behavior lately was concerning overall, he thought. Namjoon nodded weakly before stumbling down from the barstool. He was walking towards the exit with unsteady steps as his head kept spinning and right before he collapsed to the ground his friend was there to catch him. Seokjin put his arms around him to support him and so both of them walked out of the bar and into the cold night.

The next morning Namjoon woke up on the couch with a huge headache with the biggest hangover ever. With a groan, he heaved himself up and strolled into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. He opened every cupboard on the lookout for the coffee pot not remembering where he’d put it.

„Y/N? Where is the coffee pot?“, he yelled into the house only to be met with silence. Thinking you might still be asleep he walked into your shared bedroom and immediately spotted the empty space on your side of the bedside table where a picture of you and him used to be. An uncomfortable feeling spread inside of his chest as he already had a presentiment about what had happened here but he didn‘t want to believe. So he started looking for you everywhere calling out your name like a broken record, his voice getting louder and more desperate with each time.

After a while of running around in your house, he let himself fall down on the couch with his head in his hands. He had always known that this day would come but he never thought you would actually leave without saying a word. He was disappointed but mostly in himself as he sat there pulling on the strands of his hair.

Only then he noticed the little piece of paper tugged between a book on the coffee table.

If you want this to work out, talk to me. I‘m on my way back to my hometown.

Namjoon‘s heart dropped as he read the few lines in your handwriting on the piece of paper. His mind was racing with a million different thoughts.

Why would you want to see him if you didn‘t want him anymore?

Should he let you go or fight for you?

Didn‘t you deserve someone who wasn‘t as broken as he was?

But above all those thoughts that confused him, he was sure about one and that was the fact that he had never loved anyone as much as he loved you.

So he packed his things and immediately ran to his car to drive to your parent‘s house.

Your parent‘s house was empty when you arrived but luckily you still had your spare key so it wasn‘t a problem. The familiar environment had a calming effect on your troubled soul and you relaxed on your own with a book. But you couldn‘t help the way your mind drifted away to Namjoon more often than you preferred. Thinking about the little note you‘d left him you asked yourself if he would even care enough to talk this out. You could‘ve just walked away but you didn‘t want to throw away the three years you‘d spent with him like it meant nothing. He used to be so happy and full of joy but lately, he had changed so drastically that you questioned if you even knew who he was anymore.

You sat down on the couch in the living room with a hot cup of tea when the doorbell rang. Before you even knew who it was your heart started picking up its pace at the thought of having Namjoon standing there on the porch. Just like you’d assumed it was him, drenched from head to toe from the heavy rain that was pouring outside. His eyes were glistening and reddened as if he‘d cried just a few minutes ago and it broke your heart all over again.

You held the door open for him to enter and quickly went inside to give him a towel so he could dry his hair before he would catch a cold.

Neither of you said a word until you set his mug with boiling tea next to yours on the coffee table and sat down facing Namjoon.

He stared at the mug with a distant look and tried to find the right words to say to make you stay. He needed you and little did he know that you needed him just as much. Thinking about the past few months he could only bring himself up to mutter three words.

„I am sorry.“

Namjoon finally looked up into your teary eyes and you knew he meant it with his whole heart. But you waited for him to continue.

„Y/N, I‘m so sorry for everything. I couldn‘t shake off the thought that you‘d stopped loving me so I got drunk almost every day to forget about everything. I wanted to forget the stress at work and I wanted to forget the void I felt inside. I never wanted to hurt you but I know I did and I‘m sincerely sorry about that. But I still love you and I don‘t want to lose you.“

He sighed shakily as tears rolled down his cheeks and fell on the fabric of his shirt leaving a wet spot. Now that he had confessed everything the weight on his chest got lifted even if it was just a little bit.

You recalled the past few months where you‘d felt more alone than ever and tried to decide whether it was wise to give him a second chance or not. But deep in your heart you already knew the answer. You still loved him and you didn‘t want to lose him either. And the thought of him thinking otherwise hurt you. So you closed your eyes and took a deep breath before saying the three words he had been yearning to hear from you.

„Namjoon, I love you.“

His eyes had gone wide as he stared at you searching for the light in your eyes he was so used to see whenever you said those words to him. His frown turned upwards into a bright smile when he recognized the loving look on your face that washed away every ounce of doubt he had left inside of him. Pulling you into a tight hug he buried his nose in the crook of your neck inhaling your familiar scent as a few tears of happiness dropped down on the bare skin of your shoulder.

You were happy to have the warm feeling of his arms wrapped around your waist again and smiled to yourself as you softly ran your fingers through his hair. You stayed like that for a while enjoying each other‘s presence something you‘d missed for months.

Pulling back finally, you looked at him with a serious expression.

„Please, next time when you‘re having a hard time just come and talk to me instead of drowning your sorrows with alcohol, okay?“

Namjoon nodded obediently while he caressed your cheek with one hand. The gesture brought back many memories and you couldn‘t help but shed a tear as well.

„I promise.“

That was all you wanted to hear from him. You moved closer to him and he put his arms around you wrapping you in his warm embrace as you snuggled into his chest.

„I love you.“

You looked up to meet his eyes and a fond smile spread across his face and he leaned down to peck your lips.

„I love you too, Y/N.“

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Song Request Game

[lunaschild2016]

[Redux] Worth Fighting For: Chapter 22 - Eyes On Fire

A/N: Here’s a short one to tease you beauties. Hopefully, the word count won't be bounced here.

@kenzieam  @pathyborba  @jaihardy @every-jai@ericdauntless@beautifulramblingbrains@bookgirlthings@jojuarez26@oddsnendsfanfics@offroadinjandals@singingpeople@iammarylastar@irasancti@captstefanbrandt@clublulu333@fuckthatfeeling@tigpooh67@ex-bookjunkybookjunky  @jughead-wuz-here wuz-here @badassbaker@beanzjellly@beltz2016@meganbee15@affabletimelady@scorpio2009@gylisaa@geekybeyondallreason @violetsonthelam@kyloswarstars@emmysrandomthoughts@kgurew@beltzboys2015-blog @slytherin-princess-25273@whatwouldbuffydo666@jaiboomer11@holamor@wealwayskeepfighting@original46@blakefc@xtheserpentx@artisthedgehog@elaacreditava@slytherlesbian

Chapter 21 - Eyes On Fire

Kat

I sat on the tiled bench that's built into the shower enclosure far longer than I really needed to. After playing with that damn digital controller I found a steam setting and sat down in shock while enjoying it at the same time. Indulging in the privacy of the shower plus all the neat little settings and using the bath products, that I've missed but haven't wanted to spend precious points on, is all well and fine. But that's not what I'm really doing here, at least it's not all that I'm doing.

I'm stalling and I know it.

My main concern right now is trying to find a reason to give Eric regarding the medications he wants to give that will sound reasonable and not end up tipping him over the edge he seems to be teetering on. The problem I'm running into is there is no good reason for it. Part of it's being stubborn while the other part is my own messed up rationalization. Neither of those are going to go over well with any of those guys right now.

I sigh and shut off the water finally resolving that at least I'm going to stand firm on any pain killers. At least with that I know I have a valid reason and one that Eric will understand and even if he doesn't, he can be mad about it all he wants but I'm not willing to give in on this point.

With that addressed in my mind, I start to dry off and get dressed. I just don't do it as fast as I know I can. I take my time with every stage.

First putting up my hair in a secure braid then moving on to using the various products that Zach included along with the bath stuff. While I don't hesitate to use the moisturizers and lotions, I don't even contemplate using the small amount of makeup he seems to have added to the mix as well.

I sigh in pleasure as I smooth lotion over my skin in all the areas that have felt irritated the most by the other stuff I bought. The relief it brings drives out any guilt I might have felt about Zach going to the trouble of replacing all the things I've been stubbornly refusing to stop using.

Honeysuckle and citrus drift on the air as I move on to getting dressed. That part doesn't take me long at all to do. The clothes are just basic black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. They're no different than the standard pieces for a Dauntless informal uniform and aren't far from what I know I have already.

What has me blushing while getting dressed is the undergarments that they included. Even that is no different than something I already have, a sports bra and boy shorts. It isn't so much the clothes themselves but the thought of anyone besides myself picking out my underwear. Let alone Eric, Chase, and Zach.

Especially Eric.

By the time I'm as dressed as I can be before I have to call for Eric, I've sufficiently worked up a total body blush by imagining him picking out and touching my clothes. I stand and stare at my reflection in the mirror and wince at what I see.

I've never dwelt long on the fact that I haven't been allowed to have any kind of say about how I look or what I wear. I've never really wondered about myself and if I'm plain, pretty, ugly or anything of that nature. That's not to say that I haven't heard all kinds of descriptions yelled at me over the years, and none of them very good, I just learned to disregard them. It didn't matter to me if anyone thought I was attractive or not, I had much bigger things to worry about and that's all I've let myself think about.

Before the incident with the factionless, I was so young the only thing I cared about was running and playing, to be free to do that and everything else my sister and I longed to do. After the incident, it felt like the end of my childhood. After that, all I could, or allowed myself, to think about was becoming as strong as I could to protect those I loved and to make up for all I did wrong.

Even when Tobias had shown his supposed interest in me when I was in my early teens I hadn't given more than a passing thought to why he would have any in me. Honestly, I've always been convinced that had been more about him thinking he should be with me for some reason rather than actually wanting to be.

I let my hand fall from my face and where I had been gently probing the puffy mess of my eye and sigh tiredly when I think of Tobias. Because that just brings up more worries than I'm capable of juggling right now. I know I'm going to have to face the situation with him, as well as his secret relationship with my sister, soon. Just not now.

My biggest worry right now is the young woman in the mirror and the only man I've ever wanted to notice me and see me. There must be something here in me if he's going to the trouble he has for me. I don't think it will ever be what I want him to see or feel. Not when I look at my reflection and know that I can never measure up to the women I'm sure he could have in a second if he wanted to.

Maybe there's something to the whole Abnegation shunning of mirrors because never have I been as self-conscious as I am now that I have such unrestricted access to one. Where even now, two weeks later, I can't help looking into one and immediately finding everything wrong about myself.

Especially when most of the time there is someone standing beside me to compare myself to, which is usually my sister. Then again, I always compare myself to her in most ways.

My hair is a lighter shade of blonde than hers. It darkens a bit if I'm out of the sun for long periods of time, but not by much. I've always considered it to be kind of dull and flat compared to hers with its mixes of blonde, brown and a tiny bit of red in certain lights. They are all mixed together in a way that can be really stunning when she leaves it down. Mine is more blonde with very little other colors, but the more I'm in the sun, the more it looks like dried out bleached wheat. I've always been envious of her shimmering locks.

We have the same general shape to our faces, enough that when combined with our close age and physical stature, people often confuse us for being twins. But it's those differences that stand out so much to me.

My nose is slightly shorter and turned up at the end, making it look cute rather than the strong one she has that looks like it would be at home on any Grecian statue.

My mouth has a bow shape with annoyingly pouty lips that make me look like I'm always throwing a tantrum of some kind.

My eyes are a little too big making my overall appearance even more childlike.

Combine all that with my short and petite frame, I could be mistaken for a pre-teen boy if I didn't wear clothes that show off the few feminine features I do have, my hips and ass. That I have plenty of. It's what Lynn likes to jokingly refer to as the junk in my trunk. Whatever you call it, it's still not enough by half to compete with the women I saw eyeing Eric that first night in the Pit.

Those are women with a capital W. With their figures encased in skin-tight clothing of varying lengths and coverage, ample cleavage, perfectly groomed and made up. All that on top of knowing exactly how to tempt and seduce in ways that I don't have the first clue about.

I shake my head when I have ridiculous flashes, imaging me made up and dressed like one of them and making a complete fool of myself. Pointing out to me that even if I knew how to do any of that I would still fall far from measuring up.

I look away from the mirror in disgust, finally finished with my reflections, and looking at my sad reflection. I force myself to turn and finish dressing until I have everything on but the shirt. I open the door and take a breath before I call out Eric's name then immediately wish I had taken just a few seconds more when nerves hit me full force.

I don't want him to see how ill at ease I'm feeling. Not after earlier. I want him to know I trust him completely. It's myself I don't trust but it's not like I can tell him that. Standing here shifting around nervously isn't going to exactly look like I trust him very much. I cast a look around and then decide it might be better to look as casual as I can.

I move over to the bathroom counter and shift until I can lift myself up onto it, wincing as my ribs take pressure it's not ready for and scooting back until I'm sitting, in what I hope is a casual manner. Hoping that I pull it off even if I'm in nothing but my sports bra, pants, and boots.

I laugh quietly at myself and shake my head then look at my hands when I hear his steps as he approaches after the door to his bedroom creaks open. My hands fidget together hoping to mask their shaking.

"Did you leave any hot wat…" Eric asks, laughing slightly as he came in the doorframe, but he stops in mid-sentence when he gets one step over the threshold.

I only know he's there and that he's stopped moving because I can see his feet from where my eyes were still glued to my hands. I refused to look up and even more now that whatever he's seeing is enough to freeze him in his tracks. I feel mild panic that I've done something wrong, and my brain races as it plays over his instructions. I know I followed them exactly so I'm not sure what's going on. I refuse to look up still but I can't stand just sitting here not knowing either.

"Did I leave any hot water?" I grasp at the playful question and decide to roll with it, hoping I can make my tone light as well. I shrug and smirk a little when I realize how truthful my answer is. "I might have left a tiny amount."

He clears his throat and steps forward. His boots thumping loudly on the tiled floor and the sound echoing back to us. I hear that thudding and hope that's really from his steps and not my heart. The sound of it is loud and fast in my ears, three beats for each pause between his steps. His intake of breath brings to my attention that my own is at least two times faster. Giving the illusion that he's barely breathing while I can't get enough.

One of his large, warm, and wonderfully calloused hands takes both of my clasped hands in his, while the other he raises until it slides gently along my jaw for the second time this morning. He tilts my head back so that our eyes finally meet as his thumb stroked my cheek softly.

There's danger in his eyes anytime I look at them. I never know what I'm going to find and how I'm going to react. Right now there is a clear worry in his eyes, along with something else that's not so clear. Whatever it is, it's just as intense as anything else he allows to broadcast. They seem to be darker right now as his brows lower more, casting shadows over them.

Eric's tugs his lower lip between his teeth quickly before releasing it and breath at the same time. "Are you okay, Kat?"

I nod and smile a little. "The shower helped, though I do still hurt a little."

The side of his mouth quirks up in a side smile as he shakes his head. "That's not what I was meaning…Kat." He pauses for the barest of seconds before he says my name, making me think he might have been about to say something else. The smile is gone and he frowns while holding my eyes. "Are you okay being here like this...with me?"

I swallow hard while thinking that I'm very much not okay being with him like this but not for any of the reasons he's worried about. At least I can answer that worry of his truthfully though.

"I said I trust you and I do, Eric," I answer softly with what I hope is a reassuring smile.

He sighs deeply. It might be one of relief. It might be of frustration. It might even be disappointment. They all sound so similar and the only thing that would let me know how he's feeling would be his expression or eyes, but those are back to being carefully guarded.

I feel like he's searching mine for something just as much as I am him until he breaks contact and they move over my face slowly. His expression slowly loses its blankness as a tightness I'm familiar with morphs it.

Despite the anger I can see and feel in him as he looks over my injuries, his touch is maddeningly gentle. It's so light and gentle that I struggle to keep my breathing normal while he moves his hands and eyes over me, evaluating the damage for himself for the first time. I close my eyes and will away the thoughts his touch is bringing to mind.

In my mind, Eric isn't looking at me with a methodical but otherwise passionless eye. In my mind, the soft brush of his fingers is anything but a clinical evaluation. My mind is in serious danger of making me make a complete ass of myself as I can barely contain the whimpers that his touch and those images are causing in me.

I keep my eyes closed tightly and scowl every time one of those soft whimpers escape me.

"Tell me if you want or need me to stop, Kat," Eric demands tightly.

A shiver that I can't stop completely escapes at the sound of him speaking in that deep and rough tone. I know it's caused by him trying to keep in the anger he's probably feeling after he comes to each bruise I have. I can't speak properly to reply, so I just gave a nod of my head instead.

"Answer me, Kat." This new demand has me holding my eyes closed even tighter.

A bolt of something strong rushes through me when his fingers graze over an area that seems to be sensitive in a way I could never have imagined it being. The deep rumble of his voice seems to connect straight to that sensation so that they combine and have what I know is desire pooling in me.

He can't know that his touch is creating a whirlpool of desire inside of me and if I don't answer soon, he's going to stop and I don't want that. As much as I should say something to make him stop, I just can't.

"Yes, I will, Eric. I'm okay though." I slightly gasp out the words while not once opening my eyes to see what his expression and eyes might hold. "Don't...I...please...I mean you don't have to stop."

I cringe and internally curse myself when I realize that all came out as me practically begging him not to stop. I even moaned a little when his hands started moving in ways and over areas I'm not prepared for.

What started out as the faint press of his fingertips along the ribs that were hurt as well as the other side, turned into the full length of his hand sliding over my skin. Near my hips, it slid against the bare skin there, a whisper of the heat from his skin against the goosebumped flesh of mine at the waist. Then his fingers made a slow, almost dancing, progression up until he was caressing each rib causing my head to fall back and the moan to escape.

I don't dare to open my eyes now as his hands stop completely. Tears burned behind my eyes making them feel like they are on fire right along with my body as I flush in embarrassment and shame.

I know any second he's going to jerk his hands away from me and step back to address the situation. I don't know how he's going to handle it but knowing how badly I've just messed up he might just say it's better that we have no contact if I can't keep my hormones in check.

That's what I expect to happen but it's not what he does. Instead of pulling away and getting far from me, he gets even closer. Stepping forward until I'm forced to open my legs a little to accommodate his body, my knees brushing his hips as he moves. His hands start moving again. Going from my sides to my arms, up until they travel across my shoulders then even further still as they go along the sides of my neck and only finally stopping when they are on either side of my face. There he stops and cups my head gently in his grasp.

"Kat, look at me," He orders me gruffly.

I want to refuse since I'm still horrified and ashamed at my reaction to him simply trying to take care of me. I almost refuse until I hear his breathing and how fast it is, how hard it's coming out and gusting against my skin.

My eyes pop open against every order I give them to remain closed so I can find out what could be causing Eric to be breathing like that. I almost wish I hadn't and that my body obeyed my order, not his because what I see just can't be real. It can't be real that his eyes are full of the same desire I have coursing through me.

I feel drugged as I drag my eyes away from his to search for anything else that might tell me what the hell is going on, only to see his lips tilted up at the edges in what could only be described as a smug manner.

Then his face starts moving closer to mine and any rational thought fled my mind except one thing. One thought and wish.

Please, oh please, let him be about to kiss me.

[metalandmagi]

March Media Madness!

Hello and welcome to the post where I talk about all the movies, books, and TV I consumed this month in my seemingly never ending quest to shout my feelings into the void. And oh boy all the winter anime is ending so I feel dead inside.

*puts on sunglasses* Let’s do this.

Movies!

Bohemian Rhapsody: The one about Queen Freddie Mercury. And it’s pretty good. It’s a little weird seeing a biopic of a band with literally no struggles getting into the industry, and I wouldn’t say it does wonders for the negative stereotypes about bisexuals...but who cares because if you’re watching this movie, it’s because you just want to sing along to some Queen songs and see some big hair! 8/10

How to Train Your Dragon- The Hidden World: The third and final installment in the How to Train Your Dragon trilogy, in which Dreamworks pulls a Butterfree on us, but at least we get a happy ending. This franchise holds a special place in my heart for so many reasons, and I’m glad that this one stuck the landing. Each movie has its own specific feeling and message, and they all advance the story in unique ways. Apart from being beautifully animated and hilarious, it also packs the big emotional punch we all were expecting and ends on a satisfying note overall. But it’s still not perfect. The other riders are at their most useless by far, and this is coming from someone who never really minded them before. They’re a lot more irritating if you’ve watched the tv series and can see how they can be useful. And Astrid really only provides emotional support instead of her usual ass-kicking. The villain was...fine...but he didn’t really pack much of a punch. And I really wished they had kept some sort of continuity and embraced the television series (I NEED A DAGUR CAMEO)! But these are mostly small things. If you haven’t given this franchise a try yet, please give it a chance! 9/10

Ralph Breaks the Internet: The poorly named sequel to Wreck It Ralph, in which Ralph and Venelope must travel to the internet to save Sugar Rush and keep the game characters from becoming homeless. It’s a fine follow up, but it definitely doesn’t have the same impact the first one did. There’s a heck of a lot going on in this movie, and it feels like it tried to do too much in terms of plot and character arcs in favor of sacrificing the humor from the first movie. And I really miss Felix and Calhoun. But there are a lot of good things about it too. Everything the Disney princesses do is pure gold, Shank is amazing, and there is a ton of effort put into building the world of the internet. I’m sure it will be pretty dated in a couple years, but it’s not just a quick cash grab full of name dropping and references (even though Disney seems like it wants it to be). It’s still worth checking out. 7.5/10

A Quiet Place: A family must survive in a world where deadly alien monsters that are attracted to sound have invaded the planet. I am the world’s biggest wimp when it comes to scary movies, and even I was interested enough in the premise to want to see this movie. And yes it’s amazing! The performances are all incredibly moving and believable, we get good representation of a Deaf character, the sound design is so creative it should be used in film classes, and it tells a thrilling and heart wrenching family story in only an hour and a half. I think I liked it because the focus wasn’t on the monsters just going around killing people. It’s about a family and what parents will do for their children. People like to say there’s a ton of plot holes, but if you actually think about them for more than five seconds, you’ll see there’s really nothing to pick apart because their decisions all make sense in the end.

My only question is about the cochlear device the daughter (Regan) uses. Was the dad (Lee) trying to make a new cochlear implant? Did Regan already have the internal component implanted in her cochlea? Had she been using one since before the monsters came? Did it break earlier because of the monsters’ connection with electromagnetic waves? Because if not...CIs don’t really work like that. I’m just confused about that situation. But that’s kind of nitpicky when this movie is still amazing. Even if you hate horror movies, I’d highly suggest it simply because of how creative its production is. 9/10

Mary Poppins Returns: It’s exactly what it sounds like...Mary Poppins returns to help the now adult children of the Banks family with the help of Lin Manuel Miranda. It’s fun, but it definitely goes on too long. Though I appreciate Emily Blunt putting her own spin on the character. Odds are if you like the original, you’ll probably like this too. 8/10

Fantastic Beasts- The Crimes of Grindelwald: The second movie in the Harry Potter prequel-verse, where Grindelwald basically becomes wizard Hitler and Newt is more concerned with winning Tina back then saving the world. Okay...this movie is not great. Structurally it’s a mess, the fun is being sucked out of the wizarding world, the characters make decisions that don’t align with previous behavior and make no logical sense, and there really is just the bare bones of a plot. There are also several characters that don’t need to be there and are just thrown in for fanservice (for now anyway). I found myself constantly saying how things don’t work like that and asking why things are happening. But even so, there are still good things about it. Visually it’s...fantastic. Jude Law makes a good young Dumbledore, and even Johnny Depp embodies what I always imagined Grindelwald at the height of his power would be like...I just wish it wasn’t Johnny Depp. I also wish it had more humor, because what was there was funny. It’s really just a transition film, which proves this franchise should never have been five movies, and Rowling should have focused on a Marauders era series or on young Dumbledore and Grindelwald. You just have to form your own opinion. 6.5/10

Maquia- When the Promised Flower Blooms: An immortal girl becomes a teen mom to an orphaned baby after her clan is killed. It’s basically a high fantasy version of Wolf Children. I honestly don’t know what to think about this movie. It does the family relationships so well and really drives home what it means to be a parent. However, its setting really throws me out of the movie because it tries to focus so much on the politics and background of this world without really succeeding. And because it is about a baby growing up, the pacing is so fast it will give you whiplash. But it is beautifully filmed and animated, and I would have bawled my eyes out at the ending if I wasn’t so distracted by how much I didn’t like the other characters and things that were happening at the castle. So...yeah, it’s a well animated, hard hitting movie that will probably mean more to parents overall. I just wish it was a TV series or a trilogy or something other than a two hour film. 7.5/10

Free Solo: A National Geographic documentary covering Alex Honnold, a man who is attempting to climb up the 900 meter side of El Capitan at Yosemite national park...without ropes or safety equipment. Yes, this is an incredible feat and the actual climbing portions are gripping and super intense. But personally, I found who Alex is as a person much more fascinating...and not necessarily in a positive way. Honestly, he can be a jerk. This sounds horrible to say considering he’s a real person and he’s doing something amazing, but seriously watch this movie and tell me this man is not one step away from being a sociopath. It’s completely understandable why he thinks the way he thinks, but it’s not exactly healthy for the other people in his life. I would be just as interested to see a two hour therapy session with him as I was with his climbing. Anyway, if you love gorgeous scenery and butt-clenching thrills with a side of psychologically interesting perspectives, watch this on the biggest screen possible. 8/10

The Matrix: REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM, BUY GOLD BYE

Yeah I’d never seen The Matrix, but I really didn’t expect it to be EXACTLY like the Oto arc in Tsubasa Chronicles. It’s too long, Neo’s an incredibly flat protagonist (but I feel like that’s on purpose to serve some sort of self-insert fantasy), and it seems like a YA dystopian fantasy series from 2013...but in an endearing sort of way. And hey it’s got a lot of cool slow motion fighting and neat body horror if you’re into that sort of thing. 7/10

Books!

Dry by Neal and Jarrod Shusterman: What happens when California literally just runs out of water one day? A group of teens go on an apocalyptic field trip to find some of course! I’ve only read one other Neal Shusterman series before, but I’m sensing a pattern of how well Shusterman can propose a theoretical question and then build an entire world around it. And this duo knows how to cover as many bases as possible because every time I ask a question about how something world work, the authors answer it almost immediately. This is a great story with very well written characters, and it even has a small hilarious twist in the end that makes you completely rethink everything about one of the characters. Most importantly it doesn’t follow the Scythe series’ formula of terribly written romance. However...it’s definitely a major bummer. It’s very interesting to think about, and it’s a roller coaster of a story...but the roller coaster only goes down and makes you want to scream all the time. If you like books that make you question human behavior and society, definitely check it out, but get ready to start hoarding all the water you own. 8/10

Jackass!: Okay this one’s a manga, but I’m still counting it. Honestly I don’t even know how to describe the plot...there’s two boys...there’s pantyhose...there’s a fun side character who is openly gay and doesn’t take shit from anyone...there’s introspection about how to deal with developing feelings and realizing you care about someone. It has the most awkward premise ever, but it’s unfairly good I promise. The less you know going in the better. 8.5/10

TV Shows!

The Umbrella Academy: A family of seven children with super powers who were “adopted” by an eccentric billionaire become child superheroes. So naturally, they all grow into jaded adults who are now tasked with saving the world from the inevitable apocalypse. And it’s...amazing. Like, this should be the new Stranger Things amazing. It’s a Netflix original based off the Dark Horse comic series, and it has one of the most binge worthy plots I’ve ever seen. It is capable of pulling off some very weird things because it just leans into it. The setting and aesthetic is very similar to A Series of Unfortunate Events where different time periods seem to collide, and it works pretty well. It has (mostly) likable characters, interesting and/or empathetic villains, great use of music and editing, and Emmy worthy performances. The only thing I don’t like (aside from them killing off a perfectly interesting character for no reason at the beginning of the show) is the romantic relationship between two of the siblings. Because naturally they had to put a romance in it, and it just sort of conforms to the idea of “adopted siblings aren’t related so it’s not weird.” But even they have some great scenes together so I can’t be too annoyed. It’s amazing. Please watch it. 10/10

Ducktales (2017): The reboot of Ducktales, in which the three nephews of Donald Duck go on mysterious adventures with their obscenely wealthy uncle. I’m pretty sure we all know this as the cartoon where Scrooge McDuck swims in his giant pool of money. It took me a long time to get to, but I like it! Webby is an amazing character, and even though the boys can be annoying, at least they all have their own personalities. I just wish Launchpad was a little less...stereotypically clueless. I’ve never seen the original series, so I can’t compare them, but I’d recommend it for everyone who likes Gravity Falls style mysteries and satisfying story arcs. 8.5/10

Carmen Sandiego (2019): The Netflix original animated series that focuses on a master thief who travels the world stealing important artifacts before an evil organization can get to them first...AND HOLY CRAP WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!? I don’t know anything about the original Carmen Sandiego franchise, but dang this revamp is awesome. Carmen is a great character who banters enough to be a Marvel protagonist, there’s unique animation, some mystery, and its own twists. The side characters may not be for everyone, but I like them...well, most of them. Apparently the purpose of the original franchise was to be educational, so they do sound like they’re reading the Wikipedia page for every new place they visit in the beginning of each episode, but at least the cultural things they mention always come back into play later. If you liked the new She-Ra or shows with great heroines, PLEASE WATCH IT! 9/10

Queer Eye (season 3): The third season of the ridiculous makeover show where five fabulous gay men rocket into people’s lives to boost their self confidence and keep them from living in filth. I hate that I love this show so much. I don’t like things that try to be overly emotional, but dang it, this show will just make you feel happy...and then sad...and then happy again. 10/10

Honorable Mentions

THE LAST SEASON OF STAR VS THE FORCES OF EVIL IS AIRING! Stop sleeping on this gem people!

Netflix finally released the rest of Arrested Development season 5

I started watching Yu Yu Hakusho because it’s a classic and the dub is hilarious.

I also started watching The Librarians. It’s...something that’s for sure.

And I’m currently reading Reign the Earth which is basically Avatar the Last Airbender set all in the desert.

[c-bani-mation]

Necklaces and Butterflies

Rating: Mature(M)

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Relationships: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Alya Cesaire/Nino Lahiffe, Tom Dupain/ Sabine Cheng, Gabriel Agreste/Emilie Agreste, Tikki/Plagg

Language: English

Summary: The aftermath of Adrien and Chloe's get together. We meet a certain red magical sweetheart. Mari develops unwanted emotions that she should just deny to save herself from the heartbreak and torment, but as the saying goes, the heart wants what it wants, but hey what does the heart know anyway? Using your head is much better(we all know how that ends up Mari), or is it?

***WARNING THERE WILL BE VIOLENCE IN LATER CHAPTERS(But I’ll make sure to label the chapters that contain that, it won’t be for a while down the road)***

                                        Chapter 2

                                                         Mari’s POV

Chasing Chloe and the prince was not how Mari was planning to spend her day. Of course she shouldn’t be complaining about this turn of events, her afternoons were usually much worse. Prince Adrien had a pretty good gain on Chloe, but she started picking up speed as he started to tire out. Luckily, for the prince, Mari knew a scenic route that would bring her just ahead of Prince him, so she could come to his rescue..

Just as he passed her, Mari reached her arm out and grabbed his wrist pulling him into the woods with her, as well as making him crash into her and them both ending up on the ground. To silence him, Mari had put her hand over the prince’s mouth.

“ADRIKINS! Where did you go?” The watched Chloe’s feet as she ran by them on the main street. Mari kept her hand over the prince’s mouth until she was sure that Chloe was out of sight. The prince blinked up at her and suddenly she realized she had not yet released him, letting go as if his touch burned her skin, the prince stood up and offered her a hand.

“M-My sincerest apologies, y-your highness. That was very improper of me, I’m very sorry.” She bowed and screwed her eyes shut waiting for him to yell at her for the act of a peasant putting her hand on a noble, the prince no less.

“Sorry? Why on earth are you sorry? You saved me from Miss Bourgeois. I can’t thank you enough, Miss Dupain.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips.

“Oh! Well, it was no trouble at all, I know how Chloe, I MEAN Miss Bourgeois can get, but at least she didn’t call her ‘Daddy’.” Adrien gave a little snort.

“I don’t think her father could have done anything about it. Anyway, I must bid you farewell, Princess.” He gave her a cheshire cat grin that made Mari’s whole face turn bright red.

“I know now why you are called Chat Noir, it’s not for your so called bad luck, I bet you are very catlike.”

“Oh really, now?” She laughed.

“Really. Also, I’d think I’d know if I were a princess.” He smiled and took her hand.

“But you are a princess in my eyes.” Mari’s face was officially on fire now. “Goodbye, Mlle. Dupain.” He let go of her hand.

“Goodbye, your majesty.” She curtsied and he bowed back. He smiled at her and then walked away. Once he was out of sight, Mari had a panic attack.

“Why is my heart racing?! No! no! no, I cannot fall in love with the prince, no way. He’s betrothed and I’m only a servant, not to mention he’s a noble. Come on, Mari! You’re supposed to hate nobles! What’s wrong with me?! UGH! I need to talk to Tikki, she’ll know how I can forget about him.” Mari turned and went to walk to her friend Tikki’s house. Tikki had taken care of her up to the age of five and then she was handed over to Monsieur Bourgeois, she didn’t blame Tikki, she wasn’t her kid and she was a single female living on her own, how was she supposed to support a child? Mari would always visit Tikki when she felt sad or just wanted to say hello. Tikki worked at the town pub along with Mari’s friend Alya.

After a short walk, Mari finally arrived at Tikki’s little house. She knocked gently on the door three times and then waited. After a few seconds Tikki opened the door and smiled.

“Oh Mari! I wondered if you were going to drop by this week.” Mari sighed as Tikki stepped to the side and made a motion with her hand, inviting her inside. Mari walked in and dramatically plopped face down on the couch.

“Tikki, I need your help! Something terrible has happened!” Concern grew in Tikki’s eyes.

“What do you mean by terrible, Mari? Are you hurt? Are sick? What happened?” Tikki started to rub Mari’s back in soothing circles. Mari groaned and dry sobbed.

“I think I like Prince Adrien!” She blurted out really fast. Tikki raised her eyebrow.

“And why is that horrible? The prince is a very kind young man.” Mari scoffed.

“Tikki I mean ‘like’ as in almost love! That’s the problem!” Tikki sighed.

“Mari, even that isn’t that bad.”

“He’s betrothed!” Tikki looked like she’d wanted to say something, but she bit her lip and kept quiet. “Besides, I’m supposed to despise nobels.” That made Tikki scowl.

“Listen here Mari. Adrien didn’t ask for his title anymore then you asked to be a servant. Stop stereotyping the upper class before you get to know them, true most are snobby, but don’t act as if they’re all Chloe. Chloe and her father are the worst case scenarios and I am very sorry that I put you with them, but it was the only way to pay your parents’ debt. Also how long have you known him? How do you know it’s love?” Mari blushed.

“Well, today was the first day that I’ve actually spoken to him, before I wasn’t allowed to be around when he came over. We talked a few times and he’s actually really charming.” She’d started to play with a stray piece of her hair. Tikki crossed her arms over her chest, her long red hair was pulled up into a tight bun with a few stray pieces falling out of it. She was wearing a simple red skirt with a black top piece with off the shoulder flowing red sleeves. Her big blue eyes were staring skeptically at Mari, though she was intimidating she was no taller than Mari herself.

“Mari. That is not enough time to say you truly care for him, sure he might be suave and charming, but there is more to him that meets the eye. So before you go off and put him on a godly pedestal, think, do you really know him?” Mari looked at the ground and thought about those words.

“I suppose you are right.” Tikki smiles and lifts her chin.

“What I think you’re feeling is respect and overall admiration for him being kind to you. These feeling can often be confused with love, especially to a person who has never been in love.” Mari pouted.

“How do you know I’ve never been in love?” Tikki gave her a devilish smirk.

“Because you would have told me already. Tell me, do you feel the desire to marry him, bare his children, or even the mere thought of him makes you giddy?” Mari thought for a moment, but ultimately shook her head. Tikki gave her a small smile.

“Then, I’m afraid you are not in love. But, that doesn’t mean that you couldn’t grow to love him, once you get to know him.” Mari looked at her with a confused look.

“Are you trying to make me fall in love with a betrothed man?” Tikki laughed.

“I guess that’s not the brightest idea, is it? Oh well, now you’d best be going to see Alya, she was starting to get annoyed that you’d hadn’t visited her in a while.”

“I know, it’s just that I prefer to visit her at work, I don’t like disrupting her and Nino’s time at home.” Tikki giggled.

“You do realize that just because she’s married, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you to come over her house, right?” Mari frowned.

“No, that’s not it, I just don’t want to come off as too… clingy.” Tikki nudged her with her arm with her elbow.

“Sweetie, there is no way Alya would think of you as clingy, if anything she’s the clingy one. Go on, spend time with your friend.” Mari sighed and stood.

“I think I’ll do it tomorrow. I have to get back before Chloe or Andre notices I’m gone.” Tikki grabbed her arm to stop her.

“No! I’m taking you out tomorrow, you’d better see her today.” Mari furrowed her brows.

“Really? Why?”

“It’s a surprise that I’m not about to spoil. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Mari chewed on her soft, rose colored bottom lip as she looked dejectedly to the near spotless floor below her.

“As truly wonderful as a day away from everything sounds, Tikki, I honestly don’t think the warden and his little princess are going to allow my absence, even for a day.” Tikki crossed her arms and cocked her hip, her white apron, covered with the remnants of off-white flour.

“I’ve already handled Andre, so don’t you worry about that, just meet me in the grove at seven o’clock sharp tomorrow morning.” Mari eyed Tikki wearily, doubt and fear hidden behind her bluebell eyes. Tikki let out a frustrated huff. “Just trust me and see her today, okay?” Mari slowly smiled and nodded. Tikki’s eyes brightened just before she released the younger one’s arm.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Have a good evening, Tikki.” She bowed her head as she went for the handle of the slightly rusted door.

“Of course, dear. Oh and do take a cookie or two on your way out, they’re fresh out of the oven and you are far too thin.” They both laughed as Mari complied with the woman’s request and headed on her way.

                                                     Adrien’s POV

     Adrien quick walked back to the palace with sweat creeping slowly down his neck and it wasn’t until he was safely past the gates that he let out a breath of relief. He hadn’t expected that his and Chloe’s get together would’ve ended that way, if he’d known it was, he would’ve just just stayed and practiced the piano. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate or enjoy Chloe’s company, they’d been so close when they were younger after all, but it wasn’t the same after all these years. As they grew, the more clingy and touchy she’d become, not that it really mattered to Adrien that much. What really bothered him, was how much his title mattered to her. As kids they never cared about the position of the other, they were in their own world, but now that they’re basically adults, her only concern is that of climbing the social ladder that she was already very high on. To be honest, he didn’t really blame her, most women felt that marrying a wealthy, nobleman was their only way to a successful life, even though the kingdom allowed women to work and own businesses, it was still very hard to build up one’s statis. If Chloe was the usual woman, he would’ve understood more, but with her already being a wealthy aristocrat, he found it especially confusing as to why she thought she still had to marry for statis. Shouldn’t she feel lucky, perhaps even grateful, that she doesn’t have to do that?

Adrien’s mind continued to swirl with these questions as he made his way to his chamber, not paying any mind to where he was going, eventually colliding with a firm, warm object that,inevitably, was a person for the third time that day.

“I am so sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me toda- Nino?” While scrambling to help the person he rammed face first into, he failed to notice, until after a few seconds after he was being given the most unamused look that anyone(except maybe his father) has ever given him, that it was in fact his best friend and palace musician, Nino Lahiffe.

“Oh no, please do finish your apology, or is being your friend not worthy of that? Or perhaps I’m the wrong sex to warrant such attention, from his highness?” Nino’s chocolaty brown eyes sparkled with amusement and mischief, unlike Adrien’s steely green glare.

“I’m so very sorry, sir, how dare I wrinkle you’re burnt mustard, colored suit and is your navy feather crooked?! Oh the nerve of I! I shall lock myself away for such injustice!” Nino haughtily crossed his arms and played along.

“I would expect no less of a punishment for such rudeness to someone of my stature. I shall tell the fair Marinette that she’s to marry another for our, dear prince has committed such a crime, such ASSAULT, I am honestly so disgusted.” Adrien sat there on the floor with the back of his hand rested, dramatically against his forehead. They stayed in their respective positions for only a mere fifteen seconds before Nino snickered, which caused Adrien to break his composure as well, the end result was that of both men on the floor, laughing so hard that tears had appeared at the corner of their eyes.

“But seriously Nino,” Adrien choked out through his laughter. “Who is to blame for that hideous outfit?” Nino tapped a finger on his chin.

“Oh I do believe this was your doing, if I remember correctly.” Adrien raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Was it?” He feigned innocence.

“Ah, yes indeed it was. One of your worst tricks to date, but alas the great Chat Noir strikes again.” By this time, Adrien was back on his feet and walking in the direction that Nino was headed.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His cheshire grin was blinding, the pure joy of just joking around with his friend was evident, but sadly all happy moments must come to an end.

“Of course you don’t.” Nino shook his head. “While I have you here, your father told me to tell you that he wants to see you by the end of the day.” Adrien’s smile dropped and he rubbed his hand against his cheek.

“You don’t think he has any news about her, do you?” Adrien looked to his friend with large hopeful green eyes. In Adrien’s disheveled blue vest a top his wrinkled, white button up that was partly tucked into his black slacks, whose cuffs were also partly tucked into his velvety brown boots, he looked almost fragile, like a small kitten left out in the rain and denied shelter.

“I honestly have no clue, except he sounded more cold than usual. I’m sorry.” Adrien sighed.

“This is not what I needed after a day like today.” Nino looked at Adrien, puzzled.

“Was it seriously that bad?” Adrien slowly nodded.

“It’s been getting worse the more we age, ever since her mother died…” Adrien’s voice trailed off. He knew what it was like to lose a mother, his had died when he was ten years old and there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t miss her, most of her portraits were taken down from the walls, but some remained, like a ghostly shadow throughout the main hallways. With his mother’s death, his father became a mere shell of his former self and became an overall cold and unsettling person. Though things in his life changed for the worse, he still tried to remain positive and happy, after all he wouldn’t be in this position forever, soon he would find the contentedness he’d been longing for.

Chloe was the opposite though. She became bitter and shallow with her mother’s passing, denying the effect it had on her mental health. Slowly she descended into despair and made everyone’s lives around her miserable, like that kind maid of her’s, many others including her staff too and probably even her own father as well. He didn’t understand how he could end up a fairly decent person(in his opinion at least), while she turned into something horrid.

“I get it.” Nino looked ahead as they walked into the open courtyard. “It’s rough. At least Alya and I have each other and our families with us. Some aren’t so lucky. We aren’t as wealthy as, say, you or Chloe, but at least we have that and soon you will too.” Nino smiled at Adrien.

“You think so?”

“If Marinette is any sort of decent human being, she’d be lucky to have you.” Adrien sighed with a dreamy look in his eye. His left thumb traced the edge of the silver ring on his right, middle finger in thought.

“She must be amazing, to go through this and come back from it all.” Nino placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Just, please to get your hopes too high. No one knows really what to expect from her. I just don’t want you to be let down if she isn’t completely to your expectations.” Adrien waved him off. His eyes a sudden vibrant green and distant.

“Nah, I know she’s great.” Nino raised an eyebrow.

“How so?”

“Because...I haven’t even met her yet and she’s already my hero.”

                                 Previous Chapter  |  Next Chapter(Not out yet)

[tiny-personal-university-thing]

Skincare and Other Ways to Live Your Best Life

Skincare 

So I've had a lot of improvement in the condition of my skin (in terms of the occasional hormonal acne, and hyperpigmentation that serves to remind me how wonderful my pre-teen and teenage years were), and I thought it would share it with you all my routine. 

Let me preface this by saying that I have tried everything for my skin. I’ve tried Proactive (which only really seemed to bleach my pillow cases), Tetracycline and Minocycline, all of the top of the line products from companies such as Peter Thomas Roth. I even went through all of the INTENSE steps to get on Accutane, only to find out that it doesn’t really do anything at all for hormonal acne and hyperpigmentation - and at that point the occasional cysts I would get were few and far in between *knocks on wood*. Long story short, you name it - I have tried it. 

However, I have recently become some what of a product junkie, and have a mildly elaborate skincare routine that is relatively inexpensive, and actually works. Since I fully believe in sharing the wealth, I thought I’d share.

Mornings

I start off by washing my face using Noxzema Classic Clean. Noxzema is a timeless product - something your parents or grandparents probably used back in the day. It is by far the cheapest face wash I have ever owned (about $3.99-$5.00 depending on the retailer). I found out about it through my ex-boyfriend’s mother - who actually recommended it to me to ease the pain of a sunburn, as it has a cooling effect. You can read more about Noxzema here

I then move on to toner. I use Witch Hazel. It’s incredibly soothing, gentle on the majority of skins (so don’t come for me), and again - pretty cheap. I have found that it retails for usually $3-$5, with more high end brands (perhaps with Rose Hips Oil) going for $6-$7. I have used Witch Hazel for years and I love it so much. Technically, you don’t need to use a toner, but since using it twice daily I have really seen a difference in my hyperpigmentation and the overall oil production on my face. You can read more about Witch Hazel and it’s benefits here I apply Witch Hazel to my face using cotton pads, making sure to use both sides of the cotton pad all over my face. 

Last, I use exactly 3 drops of Tea Tree Oil. As with most essential oils, you will probably want to dilute it with water, or even our good friend, Witch Hazel. Let me warn you now Tea Tree Oil is STRONG. Personally, I do not dilute it; however, you might want to at least build up a tolerance to it. Again, it is very strong - in smell and in potency. With this being said, I have used it every day for the past couple of months and have actually taken a strange liking to the smell! You definitely get used to it. Additionally, I have found that it doesn’t burn or irritate my skin, but use. your. best. judgement. Finally, Tea Tree Oil can be found cheap at many retailers. I purchase mine at Walmart for around $8 and the bottle will last me about a month and a half. You can read more on Tea Tree Oil here  I apply the Tea Tree Oil directly to my face, using my hands to massage it into my skin until I don’t feel the liquid anymore. I will say that Tea Tree Oil definitely does not feel like oil, that is to say that it doesn’t have the same consistency as something like coconut oil. 

I then proceed with my make up. 

Nights 

(Skip this step if you are not a make-up wearer) I begin by removing my make up with a make up remover. Currently, I am using Clinque’s Take the Day Off make up remover. It ranges between $10-$30 depending on if you buy it at Walmart or Ulta/Sephora. However, it is easily the best make up remover I have ever used. It actually takes it all off in one quick swipe. 

I move on to using Noxzema again to really make sure I get all of the make up off.

Next, I do one of two things. Every other day, I alternate between one of two products. The first product is a Dead Sea Minerals Clay Mask, which you can get for about $3-$5. I leave it on for about 10-15 minutes, and then remove it using Noxzema and my Panasonic, but you can totally just use your hands. On nights that I don’t use my clay mask, I will use this amazing new product that I was fortunate enough to receive a sample of from Sephora - it’s the AmorePacific Enzyme Peel. Now, this is a pricey item, I won’t lie to y’all. But it makes your skin feel - and I don’t say this often - like a baby’s butt. I alternate using it because for a tube of it, it ranges between $45-60. But again - wow. It really works so well. It is also apparently one of the best selling beauty products in Korea. And it doesn’t burn or dry my skin out. I am so in love with this stuff. It’s a powder that you put a couple drops of water in, work it into a paste, and massage into your skin for about a minute. Again, I really only do this at night and every other day because it costs a pretty penny. You can read more about Dead Sea Minerals Clay Masks here and the AmorePacific Enzyme Peel here. 

I then proceed with Witch Hazel. Again, I make sure to use both sides of the cotton pad.

Next, I use my Tea Tree Oil. This time I can use a couple more drops since I’m not really concerned with my face looking a little shiny or smelling like ... well Tea Tree Oil. It just makes my boyfriend crinkle his nose because I “smell like a koala.” 

FINALLY, I finish it off with a dime size (lol more like a nickle) portion of my Curology bottle! First of all, for those of you who don’t know about Curology - it is a personalized skin care product that you can purchase online. I was able to receive my first bottle for free (I only paid $4.95 in S&H), and received it in two weeks. Curology really easy, you can do it on your phone. Essentially, you will need to answer some questions about your skin type, what your concerns are, etc. And you will also need to upload pictures of your ENTIRE FACE WITHOUT MAKE UP. Here are the pictures I took for your reference. Curology also connects you with a skin care professional to answer all of your burning questions about how to use your Curology. It also comes in a precious little box that says “I was made for you,” and I found that to be incredibly endearing. For the second box, I paid $19.95ish. The bottles also last you for about 60 days, so for how well this product works + how much money it will save you in potential dermatologist appointments is so worth looking into. Again, you can get your first bottle for $4.95, so why not? 

Then I get my beauty sleep. 

Self-Care 

Especially if you have chronic pain, or stress/anxiety - I highly recommend the following:

Epsom Salt Baths - Personally, I like to pair my Epsom Salt baths with water that is pretty hot - almost too hot? But definitely know your limits on this one. I don’t want any of you passing out in your bathtub and turning into soup. Don’t put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. 

For baths - while I am soaking in my warm water that reminds me of the pit of Hell from which I came, I enjoy watching Youtube series such as Ask a Mortician, Buzzfeed Unsolved, various beauty gurus, and a plethora of other subjects. What I am trying to say is - take your time in the tub. Really allow yourself to detox. 

For showers - pump up the jams, and get your inner Beyonce on. Nothing screams louder to me that something is off about me than whether or not I sing along to songs. If I notice that I am not singing to a bop I know the words to by heart, I stop for a second and ask myself what is bothering me.

You can also take some time to write down your thoughts in a lovely journal, doodle a bit, or look at aesthetically pleasing images which there are a plethora of on Tumblr. 

I also found out the other day that we have to physically help our lymphatic systems drain. An un-drained lymphatic system (so to speak) can lead to you not functioning the way you need to, and just not feeling up to anything. I highly recommend that you read up on your lymphatic system here. However, long story short - you can help your lymphatic system out by staying hydrated, alternating between hot and cold (like a hot bath and then a cold shower), practicing deep breathing, or going for a brisk walk. 

I also recommend drinking about a tea spoon of Apple Cider Vinegar twice a day. The benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar are numerous; however, here are some of the most significant ones: 

weight loss, reduced cholesterol, lower blood sugar levels and improved symptoms of diabetes

Additionally - and this is important - if you chose to incorporate Apple Cider Vinegar into your daily regiment, be SURE to purchase the one that says “with the Mother.” I don’t know who she is, but that is the kind you need! Without going into too much detail, it definitely keeps you -- regular, shall we say? Apple Cider Vinegar tastes, well, like sewer water some might say - so you may want to dilute it with water or juice. Also, because ACV is quite acidic, you may want to drink it through a straw so that you don’t end up completely toothless. I am currently consuming 1 tea spoon in the morning, and 1 tea spoon before bed!

Also, ACV is apparently a great alternative to Witch Hazel! 

It is also good to do little things that may make you feel good about yourself, like making your bed, painting your nails, letting your conditioner sit in your hair for a little longer, treating yourself every now and again, or maybe indulging in a little retail therapy.

Etc

Eliminate anyone from your life that makes you feel less than

Drink your water and take your meds

Make time for yourself. Do the things you love. You cannot just work, study, and go to class 24/7.

Don’t be afraid to invite people to go out.

Don’t be afraid to say no to people when you have to, this includes clubs, work, or hanging out with friends when you really need to eat, sleep, do some homework, get groceries, etc. 

Anyway, I hope that some of these prove to be helpful to y’all! I know I promised that this summer would be the summer of self-care until classes resume for the fall, and I haven’t posted as much as I promised. I do hope to be better about that. Feel free to message me with your favorite skin care/self care methods, or comment them below this post. Additionally, I hope it goes without saying that if you can’t use these methods for any reason - you won’t try them, and that I am obviously not a doctor and can’t give you medical advice. These are all just things that have worked for me this summer, and I have definitely seen improvement in my skin, body, and well-being. 

I hope everyone is enjoying their summers! 

[latinegro]

A Crush

“How the fuck did I get here?” Teddy mutters to himself. He had been playing a very dangerous flirting game with Linda and it resulted in him being parked right outside her campus apartment. He had to think about this for a minute...

This all started when he drove her home during that big ass snowstorm last week. Linda considers herself an activist and ever since that crazy man took charge in the oval office, she’s been busy protesting just about everything. Yet, somehow she has time for class. She comes across as a loudmouth if you don’t know her and since he knows her very well, all of that is just to hide her insecurities. The “loud Latina” routine is a defense mechanism for her but in reality, she has a heart of gold. She definitely has a way of making white people uncomfortable and in a big school like this, that’s all that matters.

There was a discussion they had in the car on the way to her place that centered on the fact that a fellow student of hers had a crush on him. He has always been a humble person and never bought into the fact that anyone outside of his ex-wife would have any interest in him, especially a student. Why would they? He’s practically an old man that would rather listen to Big Daddy Kane than Drake.

Rest assured, she told him that it was Tommy the bookstore clerk that had a crush on him. Tommy is her best friend and she readily admits that she loves hanging around gay men because they are not shy about sharing tips when it comes to their head game.

Teddy had a feeling that this was a conversation in which she was trying to feel out how much she can get away with. It was plainly obvious that she would say things that she would never say to an adult that she respects. “Yeah, so Tommy has such a crush on you. He’s well known for trying to turn out straight guys. In fact, there are a couple of TA’s he’s deep-throated”

Statements like that not only surprise the hell out of him because of her bluntness but leave him wanting to hear more. Deep inside he wants to know what else she’s gonna say. So he just chuckles and replies with an “Okay…”

“But, I told him that I think you would never go for that because you are an admin and you used to be married so you don’t seem like that type,” Linda continued.

“So you’re telling me that the only mysterious person who has a crush on me is Tommy?” He chuckles. He knows he’s pushing the envelope a little. The truth of the matter is that he does love to flirt with women. It has become a part of his nature and a part of the reason why he’s divorced. However, he’s made it a habit not to flirt with students but she is a few months away from getting her bachelor’s degree so in his mind, she’s really not a student anymore.

“Well, I can’t tell you, everyone. What I look like?” she answers and laughs.

He finally gets her home to her off-campus apartment. This is a part of town that has a lot of students and some faculty. It’s not too late so he’s not worried about what people may think of him dropping off a student because after all, in this weather, public transportation is not running well. He never wants to be that person to a let student freeze while waiting for a bus. He watches her go into her apartment and heads back home all the while not trying to think about the fact that he might actually like her.

This is what is going to get him in trouble again. He’s divorced because he couldn’t keep his dick in pants. He was far too curious about certain women in his life. Not to mention that his ex-wife was a general pain in the ass anyway, he’s always viewed her as a nag that he ended up with. But he knows that he’s the one who fucked up and that is why he lives alone, in a one bedroom apt, in a dump of a building.

He shrugged the feeling off that night and drove away. When he got home he told himself that we would put any thoughts about this chick behind him right after he finds a video on Pornhub to masturbate to. It was just his luck that she hit him up over Facebook while he was in the middle of it all. Of course, she will never know but the fact that she hit him up made things easier for him. 

Teddy: Wow, do I come across as a loner?

Linda: Well, no. But you look like you could use a friend every so often.

Teddy: I really do appreciate that. But I think I can get by. Besides, I figured you would like someone closer to your age.

He cringes as he types that. He’s not that old and now all the possibilities raced through his head. She’s got to be at least 15 years younger than him. She can probably break him in half and drain his balls dry. He would absolutely love every minute of it.

Linda: You right, but these boys are so immature!

Teddy: I have to agree with you on that, but that doesn’t mean that I have my own issues that I deal with. I have plenty of baggage I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do with.

Linda: See, that’s the thing. You own up to your shit like a real man and your overall demeanor is such a turn on.

He stares at the screen in awe. This is not how he thought his night would go. He’s totally being macked right now. A co-worker had told him once that young women these days are rewriting the way guys date. They are so aggressive that you will get punked for having no balls.

He must be thinking too much because she types again: Did I say too much?

Teddy: No. I’m just letting my imagination go wild.

Which was true. Linda is a thick girl which is right up his alley. She is about 5’2 with long curly hair and lips thicker than a roll of quarters. In fact, she has the nicest set of full lips that he has seen a long time.

Linda: Really? Care to share?

Teddy: Just thinking about those lips.

Linda: lol most guys do. What do you think about exactly?

Teddy: I love that red lipstick you wear. I wonder how those lips will feel around certain parts of me.

Linda: Trust me, I’m talented. My tongue would make your soul shiver.

Teddy: Wow.

Linda: Too much? I haven’t even told you how much I enjoy head.

Teddy: Damn, I bet you do. But, look… as much as I would love to take this further, you are a student and the last thing I want to do is lose my job. I mean, don’t you graduate soon? lol

At this point, he’s trying to reel it in. He refuses to let this go further because thinking with the other head never leads to anywhere good. He is better of sticking to the original plan for tonight.

Linda: I graduate in May, but you right. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.

Teddy: I tell what, once May rolls around… we can live out every fantasy we have with each other.

Linda: I can accept that but, you should at least tell me what fantasy you want to live out. I personally don’t see anything wrong with two adults talking.

Teddy: You really are talented alright. You have a gift for talking your way into things that you want, don’t you? lol

Linda: This is true. :)

This is how he ended that night. Teddy was able to talk his way out of doing something so incredibly dumb. Although the best part of the night was finding that right video on Pornhub, this conversation stuck out in his mind over the last several days. By the end of the week, he figured the best way to get this out of his system was to write a story about it.

The problem was that when they saw each other, their passing glances were filled with lust. Linda wore that red lipstick and it only made him think about her more. He had concerns that perhaps someone would notice. Although there were not particularly long glances it seemed so obvious to him. This is when he knew that he probably has a crush on her too if he is being so damn paranoid over a passing glance.

He thought about hitting Linda up on Facebook but he always made himself busy. He read somewhere that the art of distraction can stop anyone from doing something stupid. So when he thought about hitting her randomly he did anything from playing PS4 to re-watching entire seasons of Young Justice.

This all leads up to today with another impending snowstorm heading to New York, Teddy spent most of the day making sure that his snow tires were set. As he drove back home he heard his phone chiming and right away he knew that it was from Facebook. He knew it had to be her. Not many people message him there. Most people just text him directly. Interestingly, enough, he never gave Linda his phone number.

After he parked the car, he checked his phone on his way to his apartment. Linda left him a message, I know that you said we should wait but I also know we’re pretending that we’re not thinking about the inevitable. So how about I, at least, make dinner for you. We can just talk. I make a mean arroz con gandules.

Damn! He thought to himself. What they say about the key to a man’s heart being is his stomach is so true. His family lives in Yonkers so he doesn’t get to see them as much as likes. Most of his meals consist of food from the student union and Burger King. So the idea of any homemade food is mouthwatering.

He doesn’t respond until after he gets into his apartment: That’s how you do me? haha How am I supposed to say no to this?

Linda: You can say no, but why would you?

He shakes his head thinking about this question. Why would he say no? He can come up with all the reasons in the world to go over there that don’t revolve sex but none of them would make sense. Besides, the food is a huge reason for him.

Teddy: You do have a point. I suppose there is nothing wrong with dinner.

Linda: Exactly, we can eat talk. Perhaps watch a movie.

Teddy: Did you just offer Netflix and chill?

Linda: Haha, and if you want, you can fuck my mouth.

Now, Teddy stares out the window of his car. Snowflakes begin to fall. How he got here is pretty irrelevant at this point. As much as he’s debating the right and wrong about all of this, the truth is that he made his decision the moment he opened the door to his apartment and walked out. Teddy knows that if he gets caught in a situation where this storm is so bad he might be stuck here. How bad could this be? As she said, aren’t we both adults in the end?

He finally shuts off the car and gets out. The evening flurries are now becoming larger. He walks quickly to her apartment in order to avoid people that may be walking around. The truth of the matter is that it is about 8pm on Sunday. People are home watching either football or zombie shows. It’s also really cold so he’s not surprised that people have seemed to stay in for the most part. He knows this is his last chance. He can walk away and not step into this situation.

He plays this out in his mind. Dinner will be great. They will joke and laugh and she will ride his dick all night. They will fuck like rabbits for the next few weeks until he gets tired of her and it will lead to her pain and misery. He will end hurting her and she will hate him forever or close to it. If he’s lucky Linda won't go to the provost, she will be another girl that he couldn’t deal with.

He knocks on the door. He can smell the aroma of the food and within a minute she opens the door wearing a black see-through fishnet bodysuit.

[colliermelissa1994]

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I think its a game to him and he brought with him you need to know that cats do not need to get your cat develop physically as well such as playing and eventually enhancing the quality of our back deck.She uncurled and stretched, arching her back a lot.When bathing the cat, whose name was Nibbles, couldn't be persuaded to go where they are toxic, so I know they prefer to catch her performing the desired results.Two male cats spray, it is not the way through the neighborhood can become more and puts you in the complex would stop and pet stores.If your cat starts eliminating faecal matter on the garden from nasty pests and animals.

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Conduct the application of a cat which is extremely important.The best scents to cover three training techniques on them.Instead of a garden hose as this can cause an allergic reaction for a bully and victim relationship.The vet will recommend the best chance of a growing cat's habits.Offer Kitty treats scattered on the change.

[saraaboo]

The Last Time

As the poison becomes one with you, the process of healing can begin.

Genre: Fluff and angst

Part one Part two Part three

"Finally” you breathed to yourself, taking your first step in the warm, dry sanctuary you called home. But before you could fully celebrate your accomplishment, your vision finally succumbed to the numbness your body felt and your legs gave way beneath you. The hardwood floors of your foyer rushing up to meet your face was the last thing you remember before everything turned black. What you didn’t know was that a strong pair of arms stopped you from falling to the floor.

The unrelenting pounding of the rain outside startled you awake. You were in your room, and it was spinning. With cautious steps you try to make the 4 foot walk from your bed to the restroom. Not even 3 steps in you lost your footing and gravity pulled you towards your night stand.Still in a half asleep stupor you flailed your arms around, looking for something to grab onto before the inevitable clash with the nightstand.

"Whoa there, I got you." A gentle voice appeared from your left. Your vision was still blurry and the spinning wouldn't let up, but despite these conditions you recognized the voice, and realized that their strong arms stopped you from colliding with your furniture.

"Suho?" Your voice sounded so far away, even to you.

"____________, you are still incredibly hot. You need to be resting. What are you trying to do?"

It took all the effort you could muster in your current state to fully look at him. His clothes were different than when you had talked to him just hours ago.

"Why did you change?" You whispered, still being held up by his gentle hands.

"What do you mean? My clothes?”

He stared blankly at you for a moment befor realization kicked in. 

“ ___________.... you've been out for 3 days."

" What?!" You yelled pulling away from him. 

Big mistake. Your step back brought you into the corner of your night stand, thus pulling you from his secure grasp and knocking you over and into the wall. If your head wasn't hurting before, it definitely was now.

"____________, how can one person be so clumsy?" He laughed while helping you stand.

The pain in your leg made it harder for suho, but with a little extra pull he was able to get you upright once more. But standing wasn't your concern, nor was the spinning room or the throbbing in the back of your thigh. No, you were out for 3 days, and you were in the same clothes. That could only mean

"If possible, can you help me to the shower?" You feebly asked, running your fingers through your hair before tucking it behind your ear. It was a nervous habit of yours.

His laugh filled your ears, along with the color red, as it spread from your face to your neck and your ears.

"Are you sure you can do that on your own? You can barely stand." He was right next to you, you felt his presence mere inches away. The proximity was getting to you, making your heart race and stomach feel light, or maybe that was part of this ongoing dizzy spell you were having.

"I-I don't know"

Suho looked at you, taking in your appearance which could only guess was pathetic, you were feverish and passed out for 3 days after all. You started to feel shameful under his gaze, maybe he thought of you as pathetic, just like Sehun had.

You started pulling away from Suho,tears resting on your water line as you did, but his grip didn't let up. You began to protest but he cut you off.

"Can I help you ________? I know I'm not what Sehun was to you, but please... let me help. And before you protest, I know you don't have any friends here... that's why Sehun chose you first.He knew nobody would come to warn you of his ways, nor try to efend your honor. You were an easy target" He finished quietly, looking down at his feet. 

So he knew everything. He knew about your intimacy with Sehun. He knew how it started,  knew why it ended, and knew why you were his girl to begin with. It was shameful and you felt incredibly small. But there was no use hiding it. He knew it all and still wanted to help you. Maybe Suho was a better guy then Sehun. Maybe this could be what you needed to get over any lingering feelings.

"Can you please?" You replied more to your feet than to him. He heard your response none the less, and silently chuckled to himself once more.

Before you knew it he was lifting you up bridal style and carrying you towards the restroom to help wash away 3 days of illness, sleeping and heartbreak.

You silently hoped he could wash away the feelings you still had for the maknae with it. 

____________________

Sehun walked through the glass doors early that day, scanning the foyer for your figure, and coming up empty for the 4th day in a row.

Where is she?

He continued down the hall towards the practice room. They had a comeback soon and needed all the practice they could get.

He walked into the room and saw the typical scene of all the boys stretching and chatting amongst themselves. But he also noticed his leader was in a better mood today than the last 3 days. Something seemed off about his million dollar smile. He couldn't be up to any good. If Sehun didn't know any better, he would say that he knew were you were and had recently seen you.

"Why are you so happy." He dully greeted, walking up to the group leader and standing a mere 3 inches away from his face.The room grew tense as the rest of the group had sensed the hostility between them. It had been present for days now, but it was finally reaching its oiling point. Jongin backed away from the encounter, making a mental note to finish his conversation with Suho later.

"Is this how it's going to be now? Am I always going to be greeted by a grouchy maknae before practice. " he retorted, arms crossed in a defensive stance.He stared at Sehun, practically begging him not to start this now, not with everyone present. This beef was between him and Sehun, and he wated to keep it that way. 

Sehun didn't like his reaction, but he didn't want to cause anymore problems, not in front of the other members at least. He knew this was a fight for another time, but that didn’t take away from the pent up anger and frustration he felt. He needed an outlet and he needed it now. So, he decided he was going to take his stress out in the best way he knew possible: you. Sure Wendy was great, but she wasn't you. With one final glance at Suho, he stormed out of the practice room in search of you, bumping shoulders with him as he did. The fight may not be happening now, but he wanted his leader to know this battle wasn’t over.

He ran down the hall, checking all the file rooms where you usually worked, but came up empty. He looked in the front lobby and in the storage rooms, but to no avail. He was on his way to see if you were preparing the conference room when he ran into Wendy.

"Oh, Sehun what are you doing here?" She cooed, running her hand up his arm and caressing his bicep. She used her long nails to her advantage, raking them down the exposed skin of his chest as she continued, hoping to earn a silent shutter from the boy. She did.

"You know I was just thinking about you Sehun, and all the fun things we could be doing right now." She looked up at him through her lashes as she closed the space between them even more, but he seemed uninterested.

"Where is ____________?" He asked with no emotion, looking away from her. He wasn't in the mood to play her games, he wanted you, and he wanted you now.

"Why would you want her?" She tried, running her hands over his collar bones and across the span of his shoulders, making contact with as much skin as she could.

"She left you remember? She couldn't handle you so she pushed you away. But that's ok, you have me now." She concluded, attaching her lips to his.

Sehun gave into her for a second before remembering why he ran into Wendy in the first place. He pushed the blonde away from him tired of her seduction techniques.

"I said where is _________? I need to see her now, and I don't have time for your games." He was growing more and more inpatient by the second, and her little game to get in his pants was growing old. He was growing tired of her overall. With you he could just meet up with you whenever it was convenient to him. Wendy on the other hand, she was clingy and always found reasons to be around. Other staff members had begun to notice, and changed the way they looked at Sehun. It was annoying to say the least.If she didn’t find the correct answer to his question soon, he was going to find a way to end it with her entirely. 

Sehun looked down at her expectantly, waiting for a response, but not a peep came from her. Even after Sehun lifted a brow and hummed at her to continue, Wendy still didn't want to answer. She knew you didn't come into work, but she wasn't about to give that up. He had her now. ________ was a story of the past, and she needed to stay that way if she were to get her way. But judging on how Sehun is acting, she might just go with plan B and destroy his reputation while pulling herself to the top. She liked the maknae though, and she was willing to give him one more chance with her next question.

"Sehun.. the meeting room is free for the next hour, what do you say I take __________ off you mind hmm?" She ran her nails over the expanse of his chest once more, hoping to change his mind in finding you.

Sehun slapped her hand away from his him.

"I don't have time for your games.”, he spat, pushing past her and towards the meeting room.  when he saw you weren't there, he knew you couldn't have been in the building at all. The only place left was your home. luckily enough he still hadd his spare key that you had given him. Without wasting anymore time he turned on his heel and headed for his car, finally knowing he was going to see you soon. 

____________

Wendy stood alone in the hall watching Sehun’s retreating figure. Anger coursed through her veins in angry red currents. How dare he leave her just like that. She was so much better than that pathetic __________. She had the better body, the better family background, and he was open to trying new things in bed. That was something Sehun said he liked about her; how adventurous she was compared to you. But he just threw all of that in the trash. Even though Wendy liked the boy, she knew what needed to be done in order to benefit herself. 

I will ruin you Oh Sehun, if it’s the last thing I do.

____________

Sunlight peeking through the blinds on your window gradually pulled you from your slumber. You looked at the clock on your nightstand and saw it was nearing 5 in the afternoon. A few more hours and Suho would come back for you as promised. 

Suho. 

The last day with him had been so pleasant. As promised he helped you shower, but it wasn’t awkward or romantic. The feelings there were strictly platonic, and for that you were grateful. He even helped you get dressed, and made you a home cooked meal. Needless to say, you were starving after being asleep for nearly 3 days.  

Just the thought of food made you hungry again. You grabbed your phone from under your pillow and sent Suho a quick message. 

To: Suho

Hope practice is going well ^^ Not to insinuate anything, but thai food would be much appreciated tonight! Thanks in advance!

You were excited to see him again soon, and even more excited for the food you knew he would come through with. With one final stretch you pulled yourself out of bed and headed towards the kitchen to do some light cleaning, being thankful in being able to do so as your dizzy spell was over. Hopefully doing some light housework would make the time pass faster.

When you were halfway down the hall you heard keys rattling in your door before it opened. You halted momentarily only to call out to the sound.

“Suho?” you chimed walking down the last few steps of the hall. “ I know I said thanks in advance, but I didn’t think you would be here this -”

You were cut short not by what, but whom stood before you. 

“I hate to burst your bubble kitten, but I’m not Suho.”

-Sara

A/N: 30 YEARS LATER I FINISHED PART 3. Ok but on the real, I really hope you guys enjoy this next part. Life hasn’t been easy lately, so I really hope this is up to your standards. Please provide any feedback possible so I know if the 3rd segment is what you wanted. If you have any suggestions, I am also open to them. Saranghae <3 and thank you for reading.