#but other people say they've just doxxed me

[strawberries-are-my-life]

Not gonna lie, I love making uquizes, and it's really nice seeing people also enjoying them, but those boxes for people to write in? Y'all write some really unhinged shit.

[zarla-s]

I just read your TF2 bot post and I’m fascinated. It has left me with a few questions though. Why/how were bots a problem for so long? What was the main incentive for botting (is it botting or boting??) Was it just to be an asshole? What’s your favorite baked good? Have a lovely day and don’t worry about answering my questions if you’re not in the mood :]

The bots were a problem for so long because Valve just didn't care, sorry to say. They just let it happen. I'm not sure when they started coming in in force, maybe after the Jungle Inferno update like six years ago? But they just kept pouring in and Valve just ignored it. It's really shameful how bad they let it get, honestly. They just kept putting out community updates like nothing was wrong.

Eventually after a lot of community pressure a year ago (#savetf2) they tweeted saying they were aware of the problem and then nothing happened. Then there was ANOTHER community movement this June (#fixtf2), and THEN at the end of June they ACTUALLY did something, which is why everyone was so shocked and skeptical at the time. Like the bots got so bad, it's hard to get across just how bad it got if you weren't playing at the time. It was bad. To suddenly go from that to totally bot-free was unbelievable. Frankly I'm still shocked they're gone! No one knows why Valve's acting now or how they're doing it (personally, I think they must have been working on these anti-bot measures for a while... maybe even since their initial tweet, but no one knows), but I hope they keep it up. I can finally teach people how to play in peace!

As for why they'd do this, yeah, it's just to be jerks. They just want to make people miserable. They have websites on Neocities you can find under the tf2 tag (I was looking through it for sites to link to my tf2 site) and they state themselves that they just like making people mad. I don't think they actually hate TF2 so much as they love the power rush from destroying something so famous that so many people love. Kind of a power-trip/control thing, with a dose of being desperate for attention. A lot of the more notorious bot hosters had twitters or youtube accounts where they invited people to rage at them uselessly, they loved it. They've also formed communities around botting and trolling people, so they have kind of a social investment in it (although they were quick to turn on each other when they suspected someone was a mole). Some of them sell their bot software or "bot immunity" for money but I think that was just pocket change, I don't think that was a real motivator.

After having free reign for so long, they reacted violently to the community movement in June. They were positive that nothing would happen to them, so they kept doing more and more outrageous things to prove it. They DDoS'd and DMCA'd the site for the petition multiple times, they doxxed and swatted one of the main bot fighters, they impersonated figureheads and posted illegal links to things, like they were really stepping over the line and gloating about it. They were extremely confident and to be fair, who could blame them? Valve's negligence let them get away with it for years. To suddenly have that power taken away from them without warning made them absolutely furious. They're still seething about it right now and plotting ways to get back in, but they haven't found one yet. It's a matter of pride for them at this point I think, that and a childish tantrum about not being able to ruin other people's fun anymore. Them targeting a baby game version of TF2 (TC2) also points to it being a power trip. If they can't ruin TF2 anymore then by god they've got to ruin SOMEthing!

Even now I'm not sure Valve can hold the line and I keep checking TF2 Casual every now and then to look for bots, haha. It's just hard to believe! I greatly enjoy hearing about bot hosters raging about it and suffering though, they deserve nothing less. Die mad about it!!!

In terms of baked goods though I like all kinds, although right now I'm thinking about brownies so I'll say that. |D

[irisinluv]

Yandere Stardew Valley- Sebastian

I've been playing some Yandere Stardew mods recently. While I love them..... I feel like they do my husband (Sebastian) wrong. The citizens of Pelican Town are telling me that they can't hang out with me because Sebstian threatened them. That they've noticed some weird behavior. That he's physically violent. I disagree with all of these for Sebby.

He's our hot programmer boyfriend who lives in his basement bedroom, and only emerges to enjoy a smoke break, or to go see his friends. Now, while again, I do enjoy playing the mods...... I think his cannon behavior sets him up to be the perfect chronically online yandere. Pelican Town isn't exactly the most connected (6 out of the 11 rivals have access to a computer), but there's still potential. Obviously they're gonners if they have a computer. Sam finds himself doxed after making a comment about the gifts you gave him this week, and poor Haley's socials are blowing up with hate comments- from her personal insta to her photography blog.

But what about the other 5? The ones who are more disconnected? Well. It's easy enough to get Shane fired from joja. A little email to Morris from "HQ" saying he either fires Shane or his own pay gets docked..... well. Suddenly, everyone's favorite alcoholic doesn't even have a job anymore. Elliott suddenly has all these taxes he hasn't paid on his little shack..... beachfront properties cost a lot, you know. The parents stop letting Penny watch their kids after some..... explicit photos get leaked. It doesn't matter that they're edited. These people don't know about Photoshop. All they know is apparently Penny's making ends meet to support her mother..... and there's a new favorite subject to gossip on between all the older women. The other rivals are equally taken care of. All you need to focus on now is how Sebastian is the only reliable option in the whole damn town.

And he knows you so well, doesn't he? You, who lived away from it all until now. You, who WAS connected to the internet. Who had their entire life detailed through Facebook updates and Instagram posts. Honestly, Sebastian thinks that maybe he DOESN'T need to leave Pelican town... looking at the life you lived before coming to the valley, he thinks its much easier to keep you safe when he can control everything that goes on. There were too many factors to your old life. Too many parties to go to, coworkers to talk to, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends worry about. No. Sebastian thinks that city life isn't fit for the two of you to start you life together.

While he enjoyed seeing the trip down memory lane of who you were before becoming the farmer, and learning more about your likes and dislikes, he much prefers this version of you. The version of you who he found bouncing on their toes outside his door, excitedly shoving a frozen tear at him. Who eventually became the only person he was genuinely excited to have come barging into his room unannounced. And the thought of moving into the farm with you was all together far too tempting. He can picture it already. He'd set up a little area to work on his bike, he'd help out around the farm for you (he saw your hands covered in scrapes and splinters one day, and you sheepishly told him your fences had started wearing down.... but fixing a fence was another first for you. So you ended up scraping yourself up a bit on the old wood. Now, Sebastain, who, while he doesn't enjoy it, grew up with a carpenter mother..... well. He's going to make sure you never have that many splinters again.) Oh and he can already imagine it. The two of you, far away from the rest of the town, from prying eyes, no one to hear what you two would get up to as he helped you relax after a long day of working the feilds.....

This fantasy would sustain him until you eventually asked him to marry you. I don't think he would rush anything. To you, and the rest of the citizens, he was just normal Sebastian. Showing up for band practice, playing pool at the bar (although he seemed to play much better when a certain farmer came to watch). He just realized that the best way to control all the factors in town would be to remain anonymous. Avoid suspicion. After all. In a small town like that, it would be all too easy to turn against him if he decided to publicly threaten someone. And how would you react if you came to drop off some fresh sashimi to your boyfriend, only to find him being dragged out of his house by Clint, with Marlon standing nearby, ready to ship him off to face justice in the adventurers guild? No. That wouldn't do. He can't add any more stress to you like that. He'd remain the puppeteer, pulling the strings of the valley.

This isn't to say Sebastian never stalks you in person or anything like that. He can't help himself. He's a night owl. He knows the villagers schedules, has since before you even came to town. So, he knows he can get away with digging in the trash to find the straw you threw away at the bar. And if someone does hear him.... well. Linus is going to be everyone's first thought. He does, however, start adopting a stricter routine as far as monitoring your house after you mention how you sell your produce.

Sebastian was rightfully horrified when you explained that Mayor Lewis comes by your farm at night to collect anything you wish to sell. How it's such a relief to be able to just chuck things in the the bin as you're rushing to bed at 1:50 in the morning, only to get up first thing and start your day again, and not have to worry about lugging all your goods to the store. Sebastian won't criticize you for the lack of sleep..... no. That's not what's worrying. What's worrying is that this old man who has a gold statue of himself and who gets it on in the bushes with his secret girlfriend (of course Sebastian knows about that) is showing up to your house sometime after 2 am. His mind flashes back to his fantasy of the two of you, completely alone on the farm.... and then is mortified as this fantasy morphs into a nightmare where he looks up from bed with you, and sees Lewis' wrinkled face peering through the window. Yea. No. Sebastain installs some hidden cameras to make sure Lewis doesn't get up to anything funny while you're defenseless, asleep, alone..... ok he might need to get a new mayor elected. The old man might just have to go. Perhaps to a home outside the town. Regardless, he makes sure Lewis stops coming by as frequently. Frustratingly, he isn't able to completely stop it, but that'll be an easy fix once the two of you are married. He'll act surprised, "wow Lewis, that's so kind of you to help out the farmer all this time. But hey, don't worry, I'll take over. I'm up late anyways, and it's the least I can do!" But Sebastian still wakes up in a cold sweat and frantically rushes to check the cameras, making sure you're OK. That Lewis really is just checking the shipping bin.

Once y'all get married, he shows a bit more of that possessive side to you. But you chalk it up to just bedroom spicy time, and honestly find his hand tightening on your waist as Elliot asks you to read his latest poem hot.

Just. Yandere Sebastian brain rot.

[nebulouscuriosity]

Skyrim Mods: Regarding the State of the Subreddit.

For clarification, I originally posted this on the r/skyrimmods subreddit - both as a response to one of the new moderators, Sir_Lith, and as it's own post, which was deleted by one of the other new moderators, AsphodelusPoet. I planned on posting this under the main post they've been directing everyone towards, "The State of the Subreddit", but I found out I was banned from posting for a day due to an unspecified rule violation. This is my text, in full. I know it's a lot, but if you are in this community, I ask that you read through this. I reached out to multiple other users in order to put this post together, and I want to bring attention to a serious issue regarding the current environment of the subreddit and how it has fostered multiple harassment campaigns and led to the doxxing of two separate mod authors in recent memory. I say this with love for the community, and to ask Thallassa to step down from her position and take accountability for her actions.

I originally typed all of this up in response to this comment by u/Sir_Lith, one of the newest moderators to this subreddit. I also posted this to its own post in order to actually have more visibility, but it was locked by u/AsphodelusPoet, another new moderator. To be clear, I am not trying to bash the moderation team with this post. However, as many other members of this community have realized and stated, things need to drastically change moving forwards. I do genuinely hope to have an open discussion regarding all of this, especially including the moderation team. As a disclaimer, I do not personally know Goredev or Thallassa, but I've been a member of the Gore discord server and this subreddit for a little over a year and a half each, if I had to guess.

For the sake of being fair to both parties involved- you do realize the discord server for Gore was routinely flooded with people from this subreddit attempting to harass Goredev because one of your moderators boosted the visibility of a post that accused him of being a sexual predator? The moderators of the server, the regular members of the server, and lurkers like me can all attest to what we saw, and that's without what may have been said to GoreDev in private or in other servers. This went on for multiple days, hundreds of people attempting to brigade the server, many of them posting hate speech and directly targeting several members. One stand out incident was a specific member being targeted for her race and sexuality as well as being mocked for the recent passing of her father. If you'd like to talk about targeted harassment, we shouldn't only focus on Thallassa.

Am I saying any of this is your fault? Not in the slightest. You were not part of the moderation team at the time. However, this is an issue that should be addressed, especially by Thallassa. People in this subreddit are still acting like Goredev is being melodramatic for being effected by a severe accusation and wanting an apology from one of the people directly responsible for that post reaching the visibility it did. That, in my opinion, is not an outrageous demand.

Multiple individuals who were involved with the events last year have stated that Thallassa was not receptive to resolving this issue privately. When she refused to communicate privately then, when an innocent man was being harassed and doxxed, why would things be any different now? There's a reason the people who were involved a year ago are still hurt and upset. If the moderation team would like to handle this privately, Goredev has stated he would be receptive to it. He, out of everyone here, seems to just want to put this behind him properly and move on.

It's imperative to note that the accusations Goredev faced last year would have had significant impact on his personal life if he and the other members of his community hadn't dropped everything they were doing in order to clear his name. As another commenter said, Goredev was in the military at the time and currently has custody of a minor child. Allegations of sexual misconduct, harassment, and grooming could have wrecked his actual real life. This isn't just internet drama. This is an innocent man's life that was put in the crossfire, especially with the doxxing that took place. That is not something that can be smoothed over with a PR apology. He could have lost his job, custody of his child, and so much more if he didn't act as quickly and efficiently as he did.

This is not the first time a mod author has been affected by behavior like this, either. Kukielle, author of Daegon, was rather publicly harassed, doxxed, and sent death threats on the regular by members of this subreddit. Pretending that the situations with Goredev or Kukielle are the first time something like this has happened is an insult to the other people who have been harassed out of this community. Thallassa was a moderator during these incidents, too. Her inaction to safeguard individuals in this community has put several people in immediate danger. There should have been action to protect these individuals, rather than letting drama sit and fester in the comments of obviously inflammatory posts. Despite the wording of the first rule of this subreddit, this subreddit does not foster a positive environment for many of the mod authors who have been slandered, harassed, and brigaded. There needs to be substantial change in the moderation policy of this subreddit in order to keep people safe.

Now, in my own personal opinion, Thallassa needs to take action to properly rectify this situation. I'm not a reddit moderator myself, but I've helped moderate a fair few public discord servers in the past. This entire situation is a shitshow, and it can not be resolved by arguing semantics with people. I'm familiar enough with reddit to know that the main post has been getting downvoted, as are many of the responses from the moderation team. My suggestion would be having her step down from her role as soon as the new moderators have gotten accustomed to everything behind the scenes. As it currently stands, her involvement in the events of last year is a large stain on her reputation, and, as such, the reputation of the subreddit at large. It's not an easy action to take, but it will be the one to cause the least problems down the line.

I do not expect a response to this post at this point. You and the others have shown no interest in actually addressing the issues at hand, but sidestepping and arguing semantics. But I do hope you will take at least some of what I have said into consideration. If not here, in the public form with your community as audience, then in private. Thallassa, if you are reading this- please, just apologize. Give everyone in this situation a break, rip off the bandaid, and just get this over with so it doesn't have to continually be dragged out both in this subreddit and the respective discord servers. Let your newly appointed moderation team actually do their jobs instead of having to constantly moderate this thread, this drama that should have been resolved over a year ago.

Before my separate post for this got removed, most of the comments were supportive and in agreement of this post. Please, admins, listen to your community. I know I am not the only one feeling this way. It's incredibly frustrating for us to feel like we aren't being heard.

If this post ends up being removed again, or if I get banned for this- fine. I'll keep my screenshots, you can keep your moderation logs. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope to see positive change moving forwards, but hard decisions must be made for that change to happen.

[buddiebeginz]

I was talking to a friend earlier and it got me thinking about something.

B*mmy stans project all of the stuff they do onto us to an extent I've never seen with any other fandom discourse before.

They call us homophobic for not liking B/T or T*mmy. Yet they hate on people for shipping Buddie or seeing Eddie as queer. To the point of harassing people for including Eddie and Buddie in pride posts. Continually harassing the 911news account and even trying to dox a journalist for posting about Buddie.

They call us delusional for having watched two men love and support one another for 6 going on 7 years and for thinking there could be something more than friendship there. Even though Oliver, Ryan, and Tim have all said they see what we see. Yet they've seen Buck kiss a guy twice, have very minimal screen time or development and they headcanon that they're in love and will get married in the coming season.

They say we fetishize Buddie. Yet most of the time when our fandom is discussing our ship we're talking about the emotional connection between them. Or how we want to see them finally be together in a canon romantic relationship or as a full fledged family (with Chris). Or have their first kiss. Meanwhile most of their posts are the kind of sex they headcanon Buck and T*mmy have. Hell after that that dinner scene tons of them changed their urls to something with daddy in it (referencing the out of place daddy kink joke). To be clear there's nothing wrong with headcanons about fictional characters sex lives. But the main reason most of us ship Buddie is not just because they're two hot guys who we want to think about f*cking, it's because we're invested in the story of their life together. The same can't be said for B/T.

They say we feminize Buck for Buddie:

Meanwhile most of their fics/art/headcanons involve T*mmy being the big strong protector rescuing the "damsel in distress" Buck. They constantly talk about how hot it is that T*mmy is this big older "daddy" firefighter who can take care of Buck and guide him in what it means to be in a m|m relationship.

They say we've made Buck's coming out all about Buddie but 1. Eddie and Buck's feelings for him were heavily included in Buck's bi awakening ep. 2. They have made T*mmy synonymous with buck's coming out to the point of saying Buck wouldn't have even realized he liked men without T*mmy. They've even said that if T*mmy and Buck were to break up in s8 that it would ruin Buck's coming out story.

They accuse our fandom of being mean and of harassing the actors including of sending death threats to Lou. Of chasing Lou off of social media and being the one who caused him to stop his cameos. They say we're the reason Oliver chooses not interact with Lou or anything B/T related online. When there has been no proof of any of this. Meanwhile there is proof from their own fandom that Oliver and Ryan have blocked some of them. They have repeatedly tried to pressure Oliver to interact with B/T posts and Lou. They were also leaving comments on the the video of the podcast Ryan did (with Tommy DiDario) where he talked about his s*icide attempt, telling him he should have finished the job.

They call us a cult or BoBs (Buddie or Bust) yet they dress up like Lou and would still be paying for his videos if he was still willing to put them out. They prioritize Lou/T*mmy above any other character on the show. They talk about how T*mmy should get a begins episode. How T*mmy should be a main character. They defend everything T*mmy has ever done including when he was racist and homophobic to Chim and Hen. They harass anyone who has a negative word to say about their ship or Lou or T*mmy much like a cult would protect their leader. They to this day act like everything Lou ever told them in his cameos is the gospel truth.

911 fandom has grown increasingly toxic ever since B/T became a thing and I honestly just can't wait for the day we either find out T*mmy isn't coming back or when his last ep will be. I mean in some ways our fandom won't ever be the same after this. I've seen a lot of ugly sides to people who I had followed for years as Buddie shippers.

It will never not confuse the hell out of me that some people who were big time Buddie shippers for years not only dropped Buddie but turned completely against the ship and our fandom. And all for a ship that is seriously underdeveloped and one that it's clear the show is telling us in flashing neon lights isn't meant to last.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the AH for refusing to change my online handle for someone else to use?

It's come to my attention I apparently stole a username handle? Which is confusing since I ended up looking when I made my tumblr and when they made their instagram. I made my tumblr in 2016 and have not changed the username while they made their instagram in 2019 and their page info has that they've changed their username twice in this time span.

So, they run an instagram page and have some fans. I won't say what their instagram page is filled with to avoid doxing, but what I post on my tumblr is completely different than what they post. I do also have this username for other sites where I post works I too. Now, when I made this tumblr I made the decision I would be a content creator and would be careful what I post since I've been chronically stalked by several people from IRL for years. I will admit, I haven't been able to post updates or creations regularly cause I started going back to school in 2016. However, during the summer semester I would take off is when I'd work nonstop to make content and post to my tumblr. During 2021 I got an anon saying to change my url since I go so long without updating and to give the url to someone else. I was appalled. Covid was very hard for me as it was to others, but I decided to use that as a wakeup call. I set up a queue to have several things reblogged a day and took part in many content challenges I could find. Late last year I had to turn off anon since I got another anon message telling me I'm using someone else's handle. Now, if this person contacts me I'm open to discussing their problems cause those anons were uncalled for. However, I refuse to change my handle. I picked it specifically for my content and I won't apologize for working on myself and going back to school to try getting a nicer job than the previous job I worked. I really do enjoy making content, just life happens so I can't change it. I guess what I'm asking is am I the AH for refusing to change usernames cause someone on instagram has their own fan base for different content? I won't list where else I have this username, but let's just say I have it all most social media's except instagram.

What are these acronyms?

[ailoveuu]

Hello, and welcome to a series that I would like to call "what does an anti have to say", in which I watch a bunch of anti-proship videos to see if they can turn me into an anti!

Today, we are going to be watching "An Ex Proshippers advice" by Loki ZeGaymer. I found this video through someone on here (tamarahtalkstv), so major thanks to them for even making their own post about this and inspiring this whole thing.

Will I stop being anti harassment? Will I give up on blocking content I don't like?? Am I going to stop shipping bad ships (even though I keep it to myself 9/10 and have only mentioned my comships twice on this account)??? Will this be my last post before deactivating???? Let's find out together!

An obvious disclaimer, because the fact that I have to say this fucking sucks: don't harass this person. Being proship is all about being anti harassment, and if you can't be a decent human being over fiction, you are the issue. We are all humans, treat each other as such.

One of the first things that becomes obvious right off the bat, that actually gives this video so much more credibility than most others, is that this person used to be a proshipper! This is a very common rhetorical device, known as ethos. Believe me, I hate ethos, pathos, and logos discussions, but they exist for a reason. The fact that this person used to be a proshipper is them saying that they have experience with such things and can understand what they're talking about, in a way. They say both in the video and in the caption that they used to be a proshipper, so if you'd actually want to see how antis think, this could be helpful since they've been on both sides.

Although, an odd thing that seemed to show right after is the story of how they became a proshipper. The claim that they got groomed into proshipping is a common one, and I'm not surprised. Believe it or not, fiction can be used to spread ideas and connect to vulnerable individuals. My initial issue with this is that this wording, that they were groomed into proshipping, acts like proshipping in general is what caused this. Any type of fiction, even "legal" fiction, can lead to this.

I've had people in their 20's say that if they were my age, they'd have a crush on me. We met through harmless roleplaying. I was in a toxic relationship with someone I met through roleplaying, who happened to be an anti. Off topic, but I'm starting to think that roleplaying is the issue...but you get my point. Any and all type of fiction can be used against people. I know that toxic ex of mine did use "legal" fiction against me, and that's just how it is. Fiction can be used for malicious purposes. Any and all types.

(Also, jfc their ex sounds awful. Idgaf that they were 16-17, wdym you groomed a 14 y/o while in an online cult??? Ik this is about proshipping, but I genuinely hope they've recovered from this. Again, I speak from experience, that ex deserves to go to hell and back - and I'm the least religious person on this planet.)

Now, I'm gonna paraphrase, bc I don't wanna rewatch the clips 6383 times in order to get the exact quote. At 3:03, their claim is that "I've been groomed by multiple people, all of whom were proshippers. This contradicts their claim that fiction doesn't affect reality." All I'm gonna say, is that people who think fiction DOESN'T affect reality are stupid.

I feel giddy when I read cute fanfiction, I cry over sad scenes, I use it to cope! Fiction is affecting my reality, because I have let it. Fiction is affecting my reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. I'm a huge horror fan, I've been like that since about 3rd/4th grade. By this logic though, I'm a mass murderer, abuser, cult leader, and overall the embodiment of evil. Last time I checked, I've never killed a person.

At 3:39, they begin to talk about getting doxxed. I'm starting to think this person is like, my long lost twin bc I also got doxxed a while back, but not for being a proshipper. Ironically enough, that is exactly why they got doxxed. I haven't moved on past this part, but I'm going to make a prediction: I'm hoping that they say that this was wrong, they nobody deserves this, and that this is something that antis shouldn't do no matter how wrong proshipping may be. Was I right? Well...

Uh they didn't mention it at all past that. They didn't like, say "that's wrong", but instead they mention that they got therapy, and thank goodness for that! Idc that they're an anti, getting groomed and doxxed is not something you go through and be completely fine after. They say that they got therapy specifically for the abuse and not for the comshipping, which I agree with, esp since my own therapist agrees that people do use comshipping as a way to cope.

4:12, and now we're moving onto the whole anti-harassment claim. Oh no.

I haven't moved past that as of writing this part, but I'm willing to bet that they're gonna say "you can't be anti harassment and a groomer" which I agree with. Although that's just common sense. I don't think that it'll be worded right though because that'll just continue that idea that ALL proshippers are groomers, which this video literally contracts because I have faith that this person wasn't a groomer ever, esp not as a proshipper.

"They claim to be anti harassment while invalidating my trauma and misgendering my best friend." So that's a false claim and does not represent every proshipper...many proshippers are trans and use comshipping to cope with their trauma. If they're doing this while doing what you've claimed them to be doing then they'd be hypocritical. I am very lucky to have not experienced that myself, and I've never seen a proshipper harass anybody, but I don't doubt they exist.

"Even if someone is a proshipper, you shouldn't be harassing them; especially if they're a minor" common sense we love to see it <3

"Just stop and seek some help. It's not that hard to seek therapy." but for some it IS HARD. The fact that I can go to therapy and get treated for my anxiety is a privilege that so many do not have. Do NOT act like therapy is so easily accessible. For many, it is not. They said the same thing at the end for adults as well...

We don't blame horror movie directors for people being inspired by their movies to commit murder. Why is it a proshippers fault when someone thinks pedophilia and incest is okay? I know many people who write and create that type of content will explicitly state that they're against it irl.

So, that's just a bunch of yapping... what's my actual thoughts on this?

In my opinion, while this person is very, very brave for sharing their story, and I can only hope that they've managed to recover from everything that happened, I cannot help but disagree. A singular story is not going to convince many people that they're in the wrong, especially when the video was marketed as "advice" and the only thing said was "get help".

In the beginning, they said they didn't know they were a proshipper, which explains why they're even using the term proship in the first place! Proship is "don't like don't read" and being anti harassment. What they're discussing is comshipping, and not every comship is bad. It could literally just be mortal x immortal. Yup, that's a comship!

tldr: i was not convinced. this person was respectful, and I'm very glad, however I do not agree with this opinion. this video seems like it was made for antis rather than existing proshippers, as their advice was lackluster. I rate it a 4/10, and I am still a proshipper.

[meraki-yao]

My two cents on the story some Nick fans hate Taylor:

From what I've seen around they are mainly people who have been following him since before rwrb and if you look carefully they are often huge purple heart fans (and have a slight obsession with the "relationship" between Nick and Sofia) therefore I think that this hatred for Taylor derives from 2 things:

1. They hate that so many people have gotten closer to him because of rwrb but they share the support and love with someone else. That's why they always have to specify that for them Taylor is unemployed (unlike Nick), Taylor is not a good actor (unlike Nick who is the best around for the next 100 years), Taylor is loved only for his hot body and we are all envious that Nick is mentioned around as an actor etc etc. It's impossible for them to accept that people can appreciate both and one must necessarily be better and more loved than the other and they are better fans because they have been following him since before rwrb and they don't want him to still be associated with this film because he will never be "the sole star" but has to share everything with Taylor.

2. Racism. From certain comments they make it is undeniable that this has great relevance in this situation and I don't even want to delve into it because it's not even crazy it's simply disgusting and this is definitely the worst part.

They hate rwrb (but praise Nick as Henry and think he's the only one who did well in the movie) and keep making up this bullshit about how Nick hates the project, hates the cast, his body language says he was uncomfortable on that set, this is the only cast he hasn't remained friends with, Taylor tries hard for have his attention to be relevant but Nick just proves they have no contact and they need it to be true because that's the only thing which they can cling to to hope he doesn't make the sequel. Oh, plus Nick is too busy to accept the sequel and it would be a downgrade for him to do the sequel given the career that awaits him, unlike Taylor who only has rwrb to work and be relevant (all read with my own eyes unfortunately)

In short, I don't know how they can think this is good for Nick and how they can think this is the type of support he deserves and would like. As another blog said, we can't stop them, there are moments they become more vocal and mean and the more we respond the meaner they become saying things like "you get angry because you know it's the truth"

They treat Taylor like a monster, like he's a really bad person, they've done bad things towards him like doxxing and spreading false information about him to convince everyone what an evil person he is.

They say he uses Nick, before Nick's response when he signed the book they said Taylor bullied him with those drawings on his face all because they have this unhealthy relationship with an actor and they think they have some right over his life.

You've explained their (ridiculous) mentality really well, and frankly, it drives me insane that there are people in the world who think they understand one person's career/relationship/life when he doesn't know them

On the note of purple hearts, I didn't watch the movie and I don't plan to, but when I just got into the RWRB fandom and started learning about Nick and Taylor, and I kinda saw some comments from us, that's kind of... something like Purple hearts fans are mad at RWRB because of... opposing political beliefs?

Oh, also agree on the racism thing. Fuck racism man.

My one hope is this bullshit doesn't affect Taylor and Nick. I have faith in their relationship not to turn sour or blame each other because 1, it's not each other's fault 2, they're grown ass adults who understand how this industry, parasocial relationships and fan culture work, but if any of these shitty comments reaches either one of them it must hurt, and arguably hurts Nick more than Taylor, because these people are hurting your friend in your name. That's fucked up.

Again I think the best thing we can do is ignore them, block them and remember that we hold the actual truth: Nick loves RWRB, and Taylor, and Henry. And he and Taylor, on both sides, plus Matthew and a couple editorial writers, stated and showed that they are genuine friends with genuine chemistry.

[ouchthathurts]

Hey, so I saw your comment on bloomingattorney's post. Might want to check out GBPatch's comments on reddit. She's doubling down on the biphobia.

See, now this is upsetting. What happened to Rose is understandably fucked up because being doxed and harassed like this is absolutely awful and never an okay or just thing to do.

It was disappointing hearing someone on the team had such amazing ideas such as the skin color chart but having a strict mindset on what it meant to be gay/pan and being trans. As someone who genderfluid, pan, and afro-latino, I was disappointed to see someone like me have such heinous views and be in a position be a hinder to the group.

My main problem comes from GPatch themselves and how they handled it, while being a face of a company and working with many others of the same community and having your audience also be a part of your community there's a responsibility you carry with such a position.

The people see how you're constantly pulling the "I trust them" card instead of listening to what people have to say and taking the time to look over Rose's actions under another lense such as trans people who share terri's experience, people who are bi/pan, people who happen to be male being into tam, and so on and so forth. rather than trying to understand the people and fix the problem which would be holding Rose accountable for what they said on the issue.

I read over the post that happened between blossoming and Rose and the way Rose handled it was not okay, even if it was before they were hired. If Rose has changed from that then that's great, that's amazing even, the problem comes from not doing a background check on someone who holds a view of a community that there in with such an awful mindset.

Rose can change for the better and be allowed another chance, the problem is that instead of holding Rose accountable, speaking about how this effected your fanbase and how Rose will be stepping down sounds a lot better than just releasing tons of statements and trying to paint with a pastel on black background.

GBPatch should've taken the time and waited for the situation, I've seen tons of people who release content immediately hurt themselves and their credibility by speaking on the subject too fast and ruining themselves in the eyes of the public.

Wait till the emotion dies down in you before responding and don't sit there and defend the person you know has done wrong with proof. I'm not talking about what Rose said about GBPatch, they hashed it out in dms and that's their business, my problem comes with what they had said how that reflects on a company's image if they're allowing someone with these views to speak on these issues for a community.

That's bad representation, and then defending them because you know them is a whole other can worms due to the fact you're not really listening to your audience. It's not about Rose as a person but about what was Rose said and how he's going to rectify it, there is no reason for him to be on a team where he represents a group, and he ruins the fun for everyone by policing and saying what should or should not be done to LGBTQ+ characters.

Rose doesn't have that experience to say that because of the mindset that shows he doesn't see it as a spectrum but instead a certain way people have to be once they've found what they are.

We understand Rose has changed and we understand that Rose is trying for the better, we understand. The problem is how you're addressing the people's concerns and instead of talking to them and hoping to get an expansion on how they feel from their favorite creator of their favorite game, you sit there and defend them just because you know them personally.

If Rose still held those views of pan/biphobia, eld those views that trans people have to dress a certain way after transition, and immaturely called everyone bigots who have a point in conversation.

Would you still be saying the same thing?

This isn't about Rose changing, or Rose being your friend, or whatever else.

This is about how Rose, as a BIPOC and member of the LGBTQ+ community, holds these disgusting views and how they should at least step down from the team until they've broadened their horizons with new people and different experiences before speaking out against something with a close mindset.

Talking about how Terri's clothes were sexual just because they hugged his body, and the many other things said in the tumblr post alongside the response was very something to behold and the response being more irritating because of how it makes communities look when trying to make a point because Rose's point was ignorant and their response only doubling down on such ignorance and using the idea of being a BIPOC and/or apart of LGBTQ+ to escape criticism is disgusting and a bad look on the community.

I get it if it was a joke but it clearly wasn't in this context.

With my final thoughts coming to mind

The main problem I had with final statement is that Rose left due to harassment, Rose should not have been harassed in the first place and doxed, what should've happened was Rose being fired or at least taking the time to learn more due to the negligence and ignorance of other people's, especially queer, situations.

The situation has definitely been thrown out of proportions, I understand people not wanting them to work on the team but doxing is never a good thing to do and harassment is never okay. My advice? Block them and report it to the creator about their worker's close minded views.

Alongside that, GBPatch in future controversies and dramas, taking a step back and reflecting on everting before making a statement instead of responding on emotion instantly. It makes it look like you're arguing with your fanbase, defending someone who is being held accountable for their actions and so on and so forth.

It's good you're calling out the awful people making the situation worse, those people should not be a part of the community to come and harm and put people's lives in danger. That's a good place to start following it with talking about what Rose did, I get the whole 'I know them' and 'They've changed' argument but save that until after you've discussed what happened.

You gotta understand that as a company, why you won't meet everyone's expectations of what they want, you have to try and salvage the part of your audience that really does want to stay and give them a reason to want to stay and that being letting Rose go and grow more as a person to come back with a wider horizon. There a people genuinely hurt and offended by what Rose said, they are are apart of the community and want to feel comfortable in this space made for all and with someone with a close mindset acting this way and publicly working alongside you it makes the game’s community not feel as good to be a part of

I get that Rose has done great things for the game, I’m more than thankful the skin color expansion, but Rose leaving the project for however long he decides was for the best, not under these disgusting circumstances of harassment and doxing, also the disgusting and childish behavior of a fan base to be jerks and bigots is not okay at all. There is a way to handle things and the situation should’ve been handled better by all sides.

That's all my thoughts, I'm open to discussions and other interpretations because everyone is different.

To qoute blossoming-attorney, "It's not about wanting them to feel bad about it. It's about how I feel this may affect the game. These close-minded (in my opinion) views on trans people's bodies are unacceptable. "

[dragoneyes618]

"Perhaps presenting all these facts has the opposite effect from what we think. Perhaps we are giving people ideas.

I don't mean giving people ideas about how to murder Jews. There is no shortage of ideas like that, going back to Pharaoh's decree in the Book of Exodus about drowning Hebrew baby boys in the Nile. I mean, rather, that perhaps we are giving people ideas about our standards. Yes, everyone must learn about the Holocaust aso as not to repeat it. But this has come to mean that anything short of the Holocaust is, well, not the Holocaust. The bar is rather high.

Shooting people in a synagogue in San Diego or Pittsburgh isn't "systemic"; it's an act of a "lone wolf." And it's not the Holocaust. The same is true for arson attacks against two different Boston-area synagogues, followed by similar simultaneous attacks on Jewish institutions in Chicago a few days later, along with physical assaults on religious Jews on the streets of New York - all of which happened within a week of my visit to the Auschwitz show.

Lobbing missiles at sleeping children in Israel's Kiryat Gat, where my husband's cousins spent the week of my museum visit dragging their kids to bomb shelters, isn't an attempt to bring "Death to the Jews," no matter how frequently the people lobbing the missiles broadcast those very words; the wily Jews there figured out how to prevent their children form dying in large piles, so it is clearly no big deal.

Doxxing Jewish journalists is definitely not the Holocaust. Harassing Jewish college students is also not the Holocaust. Trolling Jews on social media is not the Holocaust either, even when it involves photoshopping them into gas chambers. (Give the trolls credit: They have definitely heard of Auschwitz.) Even hounding ancient Jewish communities out of entire countries and seizing all their assets - which happened in a dozen Muslim nations whose Jewish communities predated the Islamic conquest, countries that are now all almost entirely Judenrein - is emphatically not the Holocaust. It is quite amazing how many things are not the Holocaust.

The day of my visit to the museum, the rabbi of my synagogue attended a meeting arranged by police for local clergy, including him and seven Christian ministers and priests. The topic of the meeting was security. Even before the Pittsburgh massacre, membership dues at my synagogue included security fees. But apparently these local churches do not charge their congregants security fees, or avail themselves of government funds for this purpose.. The rabbi later told me how he sat in stunned silence as church officials discussed whether to put a lock on a church door. "A lock on the door," the rabbi said to me afterward, stupefied.

He didn't have to say what I already knew from the emails the synagogue routinely sends: that they've increased the rent-a-cops' hours, that they've done active-shooter training with the nursery school staff, that further initiatives are in place that "cannot be made public." A lock on the door," re repeated, astounded. "They just have no idea."

He is young, this rabbi - younger than me. He was realizing the same thing I realized at the Auschwitz exhibition, about the specificity of our experience. I feel the need to apologize here, to acknowledge that yes, this rabbi and I both know that many non-Jewish houses of worship in other places also require rent-a-cops, to announce that yes, we both know that other groups have been persecuted too - and this degrading need to recite these middle-school-obvious facts is itself an illustration of the problem, which is that dead Jews are only worth discussing if they are part of something bigger, something more. Some other people might go to Holocaust museums to feel sad, and then to feel proud of themselves for feeling sad. They will have learned something officially important, discovered a fancy metaphor for the limits of Western civilization. The problem is that for us, dead Jews aren't a metaphor, but rather actual people that we do not want our children to become." 

- Dara Horn, People Love Dead Jews: Reports from a Haunted Present

[twinuchiha]

Okay. Those who know me know that I’m not the type of person that likes to make serious posts. But this situation has been on my radar since Wednesday, and has turned into borderline harassment.

This is a warning to be wary of the Naruto anon rpers.

This is not a call to attack anyone. This is not a call to harass anyone. This is a warning. Trigger Warning: Harrasment, Death threats, SA threats, Stalking and Abuse will be mentioned under the cut. If you can not handle these topics, feel free to not click read more. However, it would be appreciated if you relogged this post to spread awareness.

Some people may already be aware that I used to interact with this group, and be on friendly terms with Sasukeanon, but not anymore. I have blocked most of them, and they may have already blocked me as well by now. Honestly? I'm just disappointed. So around January 30th, someone sent a hate post to Hidan anon mentioning a few of their fellow blogs. Understandable, they mentioned Kisame anon to ask them what was going on, as they have also recently been getting hate.

They're trying to figure out who this possibly could be, but then out of nowhere, Orochimaru's anon says this:

To which??? Okay, some people just type similar to each other? I've seen it happen. Anyway, when Kisame tries to explain that they've had problems with people in the past and listing off who it could have been, Sasuke comes in with this:

How they came to this conclusion, I don't know. But they then suddenly start going on a tirade and start making threats.

This took me off guard. I knew Sasuke could be harsh in some of their posts, which made me uncomfortable, but this was the first time I've seen them jump to death threats. This is no way to talk to someone. Especially when you have no evidence against. And don't have any evidence, because all you have done is claim things, never show proof, and then harass Kisame further (along with your friends) when they were trying to prove their innocence to everyone. Even in posts that had nothing to do with any of you!

(Note that Sasuke's mod was handling Hidan's blog at the time of this)

You keep saying that Kisame has been sending death threats and SA threats yet show no proof to back up your claims when someone confronts you on it. Instead, insult them. And type in all caps to try and be intimidating.

These were in response to cherrypiesakurokun's posts on the matter, as like me they have also been talking to Kisame about what has been happening. The top one was after the Naruto anon blog added them in a callout and basically implied they were a death threats/SA threat defender. All because what? They tried to be supportive and wanted everyone to make up? I agree that they probably shouldn't have jumped in, but that's not fair.

The blog you claim that is Kisame's main isn't even her main. This is her main. She linked me her Reddit account to prove this.

Do these blogs look remotely the same??? The threats you claim were sent by Kisame to herself hold critical information that held her real name and where she lives. Why would someone do to themselves, risk doxing themselves? It doesn't make any sense. She's sent me proof of that as well, but I will not be showing them here because that is private information. Kisame told me that she gave you her discord, you could have asked her what was going on. But you never did. You just jumped to conclusions.

When I asked Kisame about the threats that were being, her conclusion was that it was from her stalker ex boyfriend, who's she's been gathering evidence of for doing the same behaviour. She's informed me that she's currently trying to get a restraining order. I've been given permission to show these screenshots.

Congratulations on harassing a victim of stalking and abuse. But if that wasn't vile enough, the night Kisame's mother was taken to the hospital, and they explained they'd be offline because of it, Sasuke, still using Hidan's blog, said this:

This was vile. Fucking vile, and was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I blocked as many of the blogs I could. Like I said, I'm disappointed. Sad, even. Sasuke was one of the first blogs who'd interacted with me, and i thought they were nice. It seemed like I was wrong though. As I mentioned before, this isn't an attack. This is simply to warn others about the kind of people they will be interacting with should they come across the anon group.

[buddiebeginz]

Bummy stans truly believe that their ship that has maybe an hour of screen time collectively between 2 seasons has the bigger fandom. Yet if you go on tiktok Buddie edits are getting 20k+ likes. (You can see a post I made about that here. Where a bunch of Buddie TT's made right after 808 were up to 10/20k in a day.)

Journalists are also always eager to talk to Ryan, Oliver, and Tim about Buddie. They ask about it in basically every single interview now. B/T never got that kind of attention ever.

Bummys continue to play the victims making it seem like they've been the ones repeatedly attacked by us. Yet I've been around the 911 fandom for years and never seen the kind of toxicity, harassment, and drama that I have this year. If Buddie fans were always the problem this would be something well known in 911 fandom and likely in fandom spaces in general but it's not. It would also make sense that the show would want to distance themselves from our fandom if all we did was cause issues like harass the show and the actors (like Bummy's allege) but they don't. Most people involved with 911 have shown support for Buddie and us especially in the past two seasons when it's clear they've been working towards Buddie canon happening with ABC.

I'm not saying Buddie fans are totally innocent and never caused any issues because I know some have. But pretty much since 704 aired we've been having to deal with Bummy stans telling us that we were homophobic for not liking their ship. We've watched as the 911 News account was harassed and journalists were threatened with doxxing just for posting positive Buddie content. During Pride month there was repeated harassment towards Buddie fans for wanting to celebrate Eddie for being gay/demi. And lately Bummy's have been hurling a lot of hate towards Oliver because they blame him for their ship ending.

Bummy's talk all this trash about our ship and our fandom but the fact is they wish they had what we have. They wish Oliver talked about their ship like he does Buddie. They wish he posted pics of Lou constantly like he does Ryan. They wish b/t had the amount of screentime Buddie have had. They wish that b/t had the kind of scenes together that Buddie get to have. Almost all of Buck's most meaningful moments in s7 happened with Eddie not Tommy.

They also wish Tommy was Eddie in that they wish he looked like Lou but acted like Eddie. Look at some of the posts they make or their fics, where they talk about how much Tommy gets Buck or is there for him that was never how it was in canon. But you know who is there for Buck and who gets him better than anyone? Eddie.

Bummy's also talk about how important and beloved their ship is but it's not and never will be. Both Oliver and Tim have tried to make it as clear as possible in their interviews that b/t was supposed to be a stepping stone relationship for Buck. Tommy was never ever intended to be Buck's endgame love. That is Eddie. Buddie is the ground breaking ship and it will be something everyone will be talking about when it goes canon. People are literally starting to watch 911 for the first time during the hiatus now that they know Buddie canon is coming.

There is a part of me that feels the tiniest bit of empathy for these people because I know what it feels to lose a character and ship you love. But at the same time it's also hard to feel bad for a fandom that has been repeatedly abusive and continues to be and continues to insist Tommy is coming back even though every single thing is screaming how much that's not happening.

I just really hope that in these few months of break from the show we all have that they'll gain some perspective or at the least go follow Lou in some other project. It's been genuinely exhausting having to deal with this for over half a year now and I miss when we could just enjoy shipping Buddie in peace.

[mccnstruck]

me when roblox

anyways. heres some headcanons of playing roblox with pjsekai / genshin characters

a/n: this is my first time making this format !! super sorry if it seems out of character and the limited amount of characters but i hope you enjoy !!!

whenever you play horror games like forgotten memories or the mimic, they will literally only play because you're playing. they're scared shitless even in the title screen. as the music intensities they're will hide behind you and you have to find the objective of the game for them. after this gaming session, i don't think you can even play rainbow friends with them...

- AN SHIRAISHI, tsukasa tenma

very nice and respectful in the game. will help out other players and have fun, no matter what you're playing. you could even play meepcity and they would enjoy it. it's so wholesome. just make sure you don't let them give the win to someone else; you gotta be #1 in race around the world!

- KAEDEHARA KAZUHA, EMU OTORI, ichika hoshino, haruka kiritani, jean gunnhilder, minori hanasato, honami mochizuki, amber, kohane azusawa

don't even WORRY about them giving a win to someone else, because they are COMPETITIVE. don't let their usual demeanor fool you, oh no. no matter what, they're going to show everyone to not join THEIR GAME. they only find out everyone's left when they see no one's name, besides yours. the last thing left in chat is someone saying "tryhard".

- cyno, nene kusanagi, toya aoyagi, airi momoi, fischl, kaeya alberich

....doesn't know how to move around. it was chaos even trying to play a co-op game. don't even get me started on trying to play double trouble.

- SHIZUKU HINOMORI, shenhe, zhongli

initially wants to disagree. you literally have to bribe them to play, but once you do... they become so invested in it that you have to get them to play another game. will literally speedrun speedrun 4 if they wanted to.

SCARAMOUCHE, diluc, akito shinonome, shiho hinomori, xiao, mona

so foul. so so so foul. loves threating to dox people whenever they lose a game. probably tried to send a message but it showed up as ##############. their account was probably banned that following week.

ENA SHINONOME, SCARAMOUCHE, nene kusanagi, tighnari, KAVEH, itto

LOVES good designed games. probably loved story games and seeing updates on previous ones. would be SOOO good as a beta tester, because they will literally share all of their thoughts and technical and creative ideas. will even analyze the music if they need to. would probably learn lua to code a game in roblox.

- RUI KAMISHIRO, ALBEDO, sucrose, kanade, mizuki akiyama

...has doxxed someone. hasn't even told you that they've even did it. it comes up in a conversation and you don't know whether to be mortified or subtly impressed.

- MIZUKI AKIYAMA, nene kusanagi, childe, dottore

has played every single roblox game out there, it feels like. wanna beat rainbow friends? they've beat it twice! wanna play epic minigames? they're literally level 62. you are impressed, but also, how????

- saki tenma, rui kamishiro, nene kusanagi, mizuki akiyama

mccnstruck

[terraliensvent]

A blast from the past: terras and ip grabbing

so im sure some of you have seen this post over on csmingy, and zaga had actually reached out to me here to post on their actions in terras as well

for the uninformed, zaga (creator/former owner of isopups) was the original site coder for terraliens. recently, they've decided to come out about the circumstances surrounding the original terra vent blog and the ip grabbing, stating that THEY were the one who originally did so after pressure from civ and coy. (and if you weren't here for the doxxing issue, just read through this)

and as an aside: from my personal recollection of actively following the original blog and even having post notifs on, i dont remember any death threats being posted to that blog. what i do remember is the original discussion on kinah being that they were "greedy" for dropping an adopt batch on their birthday, and others bitching about petty shit to that effect. my memory could be wrong, but even at the time i thought the content of the original vent blog was blown way out of proportion.

anyway, on with the screenshots:

(edit to specify: in this screen i say Kinah was the one to influence zaga to IP grab, but later zaga corrected me to state that it was mainly civ and coy, with kinah's situation and attempt influencing them, not kinah directly)

along with this, i was given an imgur gallery of screenshots (lemon and tuna = zaga)

here are some i thought were interesting:

Later on civ says this:

more incriminating shit:

this proves they definitely did have a fucking spec-ops investigation to ip grab nearly everyone involved with the blog, getting people's locations and making spoofed urls. honestly, im not even totally sure how they landed on the people they did as the supposed owners of the blogs, seeing as they were going based off of location and there are a lot of people living in australia. additionally you can see civ blowing things out of proportion on a few messages like this one:

which, that is a completely reasonable thing to say!! if youre making attempts on your life over a closed species, maybe it would help you to remove yourself from that space, just a thought.

and finally the cherry on top of the shit sundae:

they didnt even ban the right fucking person

i highly recommend reading all the screens, it's a whole rollercoaster and not once do either of them think theyre in the wrong for being incredibly invasive, using spoofed links to grab IPs, picking out a random person because they said they lived in melbourne (which has a population of over 5 million) and then doubling down saying "erm but guys we didnt release the info we just used deceptive means to ban them but it turns out the person we banned wasnt even the right one oopsies!"

in fact, according to zaga, the IP they got wasn't even linked to a home address, it was tied to a satellite ping tower, so the user who's IP they tracked could have very well not even been in melbourne. so they just caused a shitload of anguish to Mal for no reason and refused to take it back, even after they realized they fucked up. full explanation here:

finally, zaga did link me to their apology doc regarding isos. i wont go in depth on it because this isnt isopups venting, but ill drop it here anyways for anyone who's interested: link

overall, i dont want to bash zaga crazy heavily over this, seeing as it looks like theyre on a pretty big apology tour right now for their actions here as well as in isopups. they stated in my dms: "I also want to clarify while I wasn’t sorry for it last year, it’s been a long time since this and I feel immense shame and guilt for it, which is why I’m coming out about it," and given their current actions of laying everything out here + the iso doc, i want to say that theyre making a change and i cant knock them for apologizing.

i will say though, that these messages are incredibly fucking damning for civ and OG terra staff, and i will absolutely criticize civ for them since their actions here are pretty consistent with their behavior in every single following controversy: doubling down, blowing shit out of proportion while simultaneously downplaying their own actions, and "everyone is at fault but me"

what a great throwback thursday

[myfandomrealitea]

I lost the ability to care about fandom discourse. As in actual discourse not doxing and harassment being framed as discourse obviously. “They only ship it because it’s gay!” Don’t care, they’re having fun. “That ship is problematic!” Everything is problematic if you try hard enough so loosen up bud. “But that character is canonically [insert sexuality]!” That sucks I guess but one person shipping a ship isn’t going to suddenly delete all queer rep. “But they only like it because they hate the main girl!” Kinda shitty I guess but also she isn’t real. Her feelings aren’t hurt because she is an object. “But the creator said no shipping is allowed!” Then why did they post it publicly? Don’t get mad when fish come near after you threw them a bait bucket. “It’s illegal!” Proof? Source? Evidence? If you got none, then go home and take a chill pill. Just saying “it is” is not a real source. “But it sexualizes my trauma!” You don’t own trauma, all you own is your own online space so protect yourself first before snapping at others.

The list goes on. I think it’s because I have too many big problems to worry about that silly shipcourse is just that; Silly. Obviously it’s not silly when you remember the real issues like death threats, doxxing, suicide baiting, unwanted gore being sent, and real illegal shit like the constant accusations of real life crimes but let’s be honest, that’s no longer discourse since it’s hurting real people.

For me, once actual discourse (in the blatant definition of it) starts becoming virtue signalling and morality showcasing, that's when I lose interest.

Discussing things is how we learn and shape our understanding and opinions. For example; in many discussions I've had with antis, they've walked away with at least a new understanding of the subject or a slightly altered perspective, even if their core stance on it hasn't changed.

Discourse in fandom spaces will always exist and there will always be points that are both subjective, valid and just plain stupid.

But certainly, the attitude of 'just co-exist with it' is definitely a valid one. And there's times where, such as recently, the literal only energy I can devote to a response is telling them to look elsewhere or eat shit.

[evesaintyves]

trick or treat 👻🎃❤️

thank you @whinlatter 💕

you get a snippet of my shitty first draft of the Beasts tribute fic i started. for non-whinlatters, Beasts is her absolutely astonishing Ginny & the Weasley family fic that follows her postwar seventh year at Hogwarts, intertwined with glimpses of her development as a child & teenager, and there's a brief mention of a care facility where recipients of the Dementor's kiss live out the rest of their lives. Highly recommend this fic - it's just such a rich portrayal of the whole Weasley family, the fraught rebuilding process after the war, and Ginny's emotional & intellectual life.

tw: illness, death, and very unpleasant hospital stuff

this idea of what happens to people after they've been kissed by a dementor really spoke to me for a few reasons - i couldn't help but think about some of the things i've seen in my professional life. i work in a healthcare specialty i can't really name without potentially doxing myself (it's a small world) and early in my career i occasionally participated in testing to determine death by neurologic criteria - essentially, flat lines on an eeg, which is a really terrible thing to see if you know what you're looking at. it's a difficult thing to even comprehend, especially for a parent - that a child who was splashing in the pool a few hours ago, now seemingly asleep, will not wake up, is damaged so profoundly that they they will never take another unassisted breath. i also regularly worked with people who were incarcerated in the state prison system. it taught me a lot about - let's keep it short and just say inhumanity: in the american healthcare system and especially where it intersects with the criminal justice system, and, unfortunately, in some of my colleagues and the way they cared for their incarcerated patients.

in my current role i work with a lot of patients who just aren't going to get better, who are entirely dependent on caregivers to keep them alive and maintain their quality of life. and it is - i hope you'll understand when i say this i say it as someone who is devoted and privileged to do it - often difficult and demoralizing work. for families and for staff.

my youngest sister was one of these people: she suffered a hemorrhage in infancy which resulted in serious damage to her brain. she never spoke, walked, fed or bathed herself. it was difficult to know what she understood, perceived, felt, wanted. she was a beautiful, calm, sweet-natured child who was easy to love; not every family in our position is so fortunate. it was also easy for us to project on her an interior life that may or may not have really been there, which was a great comfort to my mother. but her daily care needs were enormous, taxing, frustrating, and her inevitable deterioration and death were devastating to witness.

obviously i don't really want to equate people with brain injuries and whatever other special needs with people in the hp universe who no longer have souls - that's part of the reason i've struggled with this fic. there are a lot of potentially-unanswerable questions about the humanity and interiority of victims of soul-removal in this fictional context, but i think the only responsible practice for a clinician working with such patients would be to assume that they still feel, experience, and need what any other person who cannot care for themselves would. including not just nutrition, hygiene, etc. but also company and touch and positive regard. and that whatever crime, even atrocity, they might have committed is irrelevant to my duty to them as a caregiver. but that is easier to say than to do, consistently, every day, at home or in a medical facility, and i know from experience that it won't always happen that way.

anyway, if for some reason you have read this far, here's an excerpt from the story, complete with first-draft placeholders where i decided to rethink some dumb on-the-nose character names, lol. it needs to be rewritten from scratch, honestly. it's set at the end of GoF, when Madame Pomfrey is tasked with removing the house-elf Winky from Barty Crouch, Jr.'s side after he has received the kiss, and I've decided for the purposes of this silly little fic that she has experience in the care facility where he'll end up.

working title is My Beautiful Dead Friends.

Minerva saw the whole horrible thing and it was all over her face, what it had done to her. Poppy has never seen it happen, and neither had [supervisor], which seemed to irritate him; he'd read about it in books. The soul emits a colourless glow as it exits, he said, visible for an instant before it is consumed. For some time in the eighteenth century the Kiss was performed in public, on a platform raised above Diagon Alley. People would bring their children. There were woodcuts depicting the moment, dementors in swirling curlicues, the bound hands and dark mouth of the convicted, and the soul, represented as a star or sometimes a tiny naked man, caught in the moment of transit. It was striking how carefully, how delicately, the little soul was etched, with lines of light coming off it. Even the soul of a murderer, a beautiful shining thing. Minerva had marched Barty to the infirmary dozens of times in his schooldays. Sometimes because Horace wasn't fond of the long walk, nor of standing up to his own students, but often because it was one of her Gryffindors who'd done it to him. He was there all the time, hexed, cursed, punched in the face. It seemed, at first, simply the lot of the delicate-featured son of the head of law enforcement to be regularly trounced. He gave at least as good as he got and sometimes there'd be an entire queue of students behind him covered in boils, missing or extra limbs, pinching their nostrils to stop the bats from flapping out. Barty might chuckle through a mouth of blood while she saw to him, or he might writhe and moan as if in agony; Poppy had a suspicion that it depended on whether there was a Hogmeade weekend or an exam coming up. It wasn't only the usual interhouse skirmishes with Barty—Once, he limped to the hospital wing on his own, so badly beaten she had to put him out for a while and repair his perforated intestines with dozens of tiny movements of the tip of her wand. When he came to, she asked him what had happened, who had done this. He grinned at her with half his teeth gone. "Jusht the cosht of doing businesh, Madame," he said. Bubbles of red on his lips as he spoke. She found out later from Filius that he'd scammed a bunch of Ravenclaws into a sort of pyramid scheme, buying and reselling junk from Zonko's to each other. She was sure he didn't need the money: his robes were clasped with real-silver fasteners in the shapes of snakes. His mother came to take him home for the weekend after that one. He pressed the side of his face into the bosom of her robes and sobbed pitifully while Poppy left them to it behind a screen. On his way out the door, later, he waved to her, like, see you soon! Now he looks content, drowsy, like he's just had a meal. It was always hard to square the faces of the Kissed with what they'd done. Barty could almost be his seventh-year self, resting in the lull of a potion—though he might have already been a murderer by then, she realised. His hands, which had once aimed waves of pain so brutal they'd evicted poor Alice and Frank Longbottom from their own minds, are laced together at rest on his stomach. His thumbnail picks occasionally at the wand-callus on his forefinger. Some unlucky trainee healer will be alarmed by that one day. The Kissed do those little things. Their eyes follow you, sometimes, across the room. They smack their lips when they swallow the bubblemint-flavoured nutrition potion. They sit up in bed. "Look—he's doing it—I've told you—" Llanzo's mother had once cried, summoning the whole staff to come and see. She was tickling Llanzo's ribs with her fingers, and his lips had pulled back, his chest was jerking with spasms of laughter, no sound but a sort of clicking in his throat. "It's a reflex," [supervisor] told her. Llanzo's younger brother slumped in his bedside chair and stared sourly at his mother. She got angry, understandably, and shouted a bit before storming out.

"A rat will make a rhythmic sound if you tickle its belly," [supervisor] told Poppy in private. "You can call it laughter, if you like."

Llanzo was the only one who ever got visitors. He'd been accused of leading a nine-year-old witch away from her parents at Gray's beach and leaving her face-down, strangled, in the shallow mud of the Thames. His mother had given an alibi, which wasn't enough to keep him from being arrested, and he'd been shipped off to Azkaban to be held pending trial. As they'd approached the jagged rocks of the island he'd broken his bonds somehow and heaved himself over the side of the boat. Escape, suicide, or just some motiveless panic, it wasn't clear, but when they'd caught him and hauled him onshore the Dementors had fallen on him at once. He was seventeen, on his summer holidays. Lying in bed on the ward a year later he still looked like a child. Poppy wasn't sentimental, as a rule, but at the end of shift after those visits she'd sometimes have to have a little cry in the car park before she apparated home. "If you ask me I think she's on to something," Catherine told her once, in low tones, eyes on [supervisor]'s office door. "I've seen things. The way they look up at you. You can leave them on the pot for an hour, they won't do a thing, then as soon as they're back on the bed, haven't even had time to get a nappy out—" she made a squelching sound in her cheek. "Pure spite, I swear."

His mother came back the following week, brother in tow, and sat with him reading from Quidditch Through the Ages, turning the book to show him the moving illustrations. Sometimes his gaze moved to land on them and sometimes it didn't. "He was a Chaser," she told Catherine, who'd come to give him a bath. "Fast as anything. His Dad and I were both hopeless on a broom, but he's—" She swallowed hard. Llanzo was smiling faintly, as he often did when he got his bath. His breath came in soft vocal sounds that were almost sighs. "—he's my superstar," she finished. When they left, she made his brother say goodbye to him. Poppy was scrubbing up at the bedside sink to do his skin integrity assessment. Llanzo's brother gripped his hand, and leaned down as if to kiss him on the cheek. "Fucking die," he whispered, lips almost touching Llanzo's motionless face.