#but only gay fake things because they can't get uncomfortable

[vixen-flame]

Only the characters right? Only the characters right...

gay gay homo gay

[neege]

Wolfstar Lesbian Prom AU

Umm, so this is the first time I've ever really written anything for fun, and especially for a fandom space, so please be gentle 💓

Basically, I've been sitting on this idea of Remus trying to impress Sirius by getting all dressed up for the Prom, and I thought I'd just be brave and write it myself!! This is really short and I might write more later.

Also: since I only really have knowledge of US highschools and proms, that's kind of the setting this takes place in—my apologies if this bothers you!

Remus's legs ached from where she was folded up on the bathroom floor before the mirror. She examined her reflection in the mirror—her hair frizzy in some places, wet in others. There was currently only one curl on her head that had come out decent, but it was now crunchy from the copious amount of hairspray that was used to keep it in tact. Now it just looked fake. Like creepy plastic doll hair. 

Remus felt tears of frustration sting her eyes, and squeezed them closed before remembering that she'd applied mascara, and that it was probably all smudged now. 

She unplugged the curling iron from the socket—useless fucking thing—before starting at the sound of a knock on the door. 

"Remus? All good in there? It's been over an hour-" Remus yanked open the door from where she sat on the ground, and twisted herself to face Lily's expression fighting itself into a neutral one.

"Lily I'm begging you to fix me!" Remus turned back to gesture frantically at herself in the mirror, "I look horrible! I look like maybe I used to look fine, but then got stuck in a washing machine. And then a dryer."

God, this is all Sirius's fault...

She felt herself get worked-up again turned back to Lily—who gently pulled Remus's hands away from where she was frantically trying to rub off the smudgy mascara. She gave her most reassuring—least reassuring—smile before speaking.

"Remus, look at me—it'll be fine! Hop in the shower really quick and wash your face, and I'll finish getting ready so I can help you with your hair and makeup, okay?" Remus sniffled a little pathetically, but nodded, "Plus we still have about an hour and a half until we need to leave for the Potters, we have plenty of time to get you all pretty!" 

Ah, Remus thought, leaving for the Potters.

To pick up James and Pete.

And Sirius. 

Jesus. 

Because that was the whole thing wasn't it? Remus didn't just wake up one day with the deranged idea to spend her free Saturday in an uncomfortable dress, with uncomfortable hair—can hair be uncomfortable?—dancing awkwardly around a hot, stuffy gym with people who she doesn't even like that much—who don't even like her...

She's not doing this for the memories—she's not Lily fucking Evans!

No, this can all be blamed on the only person who could ever make Remus participate in something so far out of her comfort zone, she can't even see it anymore. 

It started with Sirius—newly gay and newly kicked-out of her parents house—slowly getting comfortable enough to start talking girls with the one and only James Potter.

In fact, it was nearly two whole months ago when Remus first heard the words that would inevitably lead to her losing the weak, frail grip she still had on her remaining sanity: 

Emma Pierce is pretty hot don't you think?

[atarathegreat]

TR Boys Crackhead Headcanons

Kazutora Hanemiya

Man spreads because why should you have space on the train

shoves puzzle pieces together that don't match because "this part fits, see!"

broke his own finger just to feel what it was like

moves furniture so people bump into it on purpose

crops everyone else out of photos he's in and doesn't even use the photos for anything

sometimes wears shoes on the opposite feet just to see who will notice

has and will break granola bars on anyone's bed

Mitsuya Takashi

learned to bake so he could put laxatives in cake (fuck around and find out)

hates who his sisters hate

definitely shit talks kindergarteners with Luna

wore a matching dress with his sisters to the movies, pummeled the guy that tried laughing at him

doesn't stop the conversation when he enters the public restrooms

Nahoya Kawata

walks down the upward escalator

smacks everyone in the back of the head because he feels like it

had court once, laughed on his way out because he was falsely found not guilty

has and will drink milk from cereal bowls without having cereal

sits and stares at Souya without blinking until Souya gets uncomfortable

knocked out a guy's teeth and kept them to send back to him via mail

Souya Kawata

Prefers to sleep in a pile of stuffed animals

the bed hasn't been slept in for three years

actually writes poems and hangs them around the city, ended up on the news for it

Cries to ASPCA commercials

Gets angry when Nahoya falls asleep on the couch, drags him back to bed by his feet

completely believes he could solve true crime

Keisuke Baji

Sharpens his teeth with a nail file

tried wearing contacts once but didn't soak them in contact solution so he only dried his eyes out

calls everyone babe platonically

if he can't find both shoes he only wears one

has a scrunchy collection

thought he was spiderman once and jumped off a roof

will shake his ass when standing still (mad tango skillz)

Kokonoi Hajime

Has a book of rare coins

has a button collection

uses chalk hairdye

plucks his eyebrows too thin

can ballet dance

TikTok feind

Manjiro Sano

Calls in sick to places he doesn't work

Got fired from three places he didn't work at

always orders kids meals

has a tantrum until Kenny cuts his hair

uses clear nail polish regularly

has debated getting a trampstamp

does his hair straight up before fixing it so he can look like a unicorn

Ken Ryuguji

has gone bald, does not work for him

draws in tattoos on the side of his head

has a collection of fake earrings that he tried once (Howls Moving Castle theme)

keeps flavored lube in his room just so he can taste it when he wants something sweet

Taiju Shiba

Thinks he can pull of orange (makes him feel like a baddy)

carries an eyebrow pencil everywhere

fights random females for fun

punches himself in the face for being late to things

had frosted tips in middle school

has staring contests with himself

Hanma Shuji

eats ice cream with a fork

eats soup off a plate

has a closet full of plaid clothing, irons it before wearing because "who tf fights with wrinkles in their clothes"

swears by hair gel

tried hairspray once, didn't taste nice so he threw it out a window

after being dubbed the Reaper, he wore a grim reaper outfit

will kiss and the homies and say no homo

Chifuyu Matsuno

plans to name his first child after his cat

has a Baji shrine next to his Peke J shrine

reads his Yaoi books in public and has outburst when things don't go how he wants them to

locked himself in a pet store and threatened to kill himself if he didn't get a cat, his mom beat the shit out of him for it

screams "real or cake" before biting literally anything

Tetta Kisake

puts milk before cereal

writes cursive only to annoy others

once slept on the roof of his house to make his mom feel bad for yelling at him

has a dog name Roscoe (it's a female)

definitely has little man syndrome

thinks girls are into his "mysterious" vibe (literally just doesn't speak to anyone and has RBF)

once pretended to be gay thinking he would get into a girls slumber party

Hakkai Shiba

the only girl he can talk to is his sister (that's just a fact)

moves the family photos around to see if Yuzuha will notice

is regularly on discord but he pretends to be a girl so he can troll guys

swings from trees like hes a monkey because he thinks its faster than running

worked at a haunted house and crawled across the floor like some messed up spider, he was playing as a scarecrow, it was a childrens haunted house

Takamichi Hanagaki

tries to scale buildings by the fire escapes

copies the others fighting styles hoping to look just as cool

eats a raw egg every morning

crops himself out of photos so no one can find him

unironically calls Hina his little princess

colors in the boxes to crossword puzzles

[galacticwiseguy]

re the red flag shirt post

the thing is that any man who's paying attention realizes that loud male sexuality is scary. not inherently, not to everyone; but it's scary to a lot of women as a result of the world we live in and the experiences they have had at the hands of other men. and so we have to reckon with that

we don't get to be confidently, aggressively sexual in public*. because that's harassment. some people say this and they mean "that's what those feminazi SJWs will call 'harassment,' and it's oppression" — please understand that's the opposite of what i'm saying. I'm saying, if a man confidently, aggressively displays sexuality in public, that is in fact harassment. it scares and hurts people, it makes them feel threatened, it makes them feel like they can't just safely exist in public. it causes all of the feelings in some bystanders that we are trying to prevent and avoid when we take steps to prevent harassment.

i would love to be a visibly sexual being! i'd adore an opportunity to "display myself as sexually available" or "present myself to the female gaze" or whatever else the notes on that post said. in the vanishingly few places i get that opportunity, i take it immediately. but generally, men don't get to do that. because of the shitty behavior of other men, no men get to "confidently" display their sexuality. only women get to do that, because women's sexuality is not inherently, automatically a threat. men's is. we get to display our sexuality with explicit consent, or within very specific, clearly delineated spaces that defang it and make it safe,** and otherwise we are morally obligated to try to be sexually nonthreatening in public.

meanwhile other men who simply do not care about any of the above and do not think they have any obligation to care about other people's feelings do go around Confidently Displaying their sexuality. and as that poll showed, 60% of women go "ooh cool sexy" so those men are sexually successful. and 40% of women continue to feel scared and uncomfortable. same as it ever was.

i hope one day this stops being true, i don't think it's inherent in any laws of the universe (gender is fake, it's all made up). it's just a conditional result of the world we currently live in where so hugely many women are being harassed and assaulted by male sexuality on a constant basis. once that stops happening, then a display of male sexuality can become acceptable and fun

* unless we're being fruity about it, which also clearly defangs it—if it's clearly a display of gay sexuality then women know it is not a threat to them. that's why this isn't nearly so much of an issue for gay men.

** or, third case, if we're simply extremely attractive, in which case we often get given a pass. lots of people who'd be bothered if it was an ugly dude with the slutty shirt (or whatever) will be okay with it if he's hot. that's just the classic "hello, human resources???" dynamic at work. but even then you're still making a bunch of women feel unsafe, just a smaller bunch; it's not really okay, you're just more likely to get away with it.

[bigbroadvice]

Hey, uh...

Hi....!

I... Wanted to talk to you about something because I don't have anyone else I can talk to about it (this is going to be a very long rant, ignore this if you like)

I... think I'm trans. Specifically transmasc. Or nonbinary. Or agender. I don't know what the heck I am XD. But... I'm Christian (specifically LDS). It goes against everything I believe. Or at least what I think I believe. I've done research. There seems to be a lot of discourse, but the majority seem to say it's okay, although I wouldn't be able to do certain things that I love if I started socially or medically transitioning. (You can ignore this part if you want, especially if you aren't comfortable with giving religious advice)

I have supportive friends and most likely family. I know at least some of my friends would accept me because a few of them are also trans or visibly supportive of it. I know at least one certain group of friends would support and encourage me if I decided to come out. And my parents once said something that very clearly said that they'd support me regardless of who I am (which makes me wonder now, later, if they knew before I knew.) They're just a little awkward about lgbtq+ stuff, and I know they'd get my name and pronouns wrong a lot and consistently struggle with it. But I think know they'd still support and love me.

On the other hand, there are quite a lot of reasons not to come out. I'm still really young. I'm only thirteen. I've heard a lot about how young trans people might face criticism, specifically things like "you might regret it later!" Or "you're too young to know this!". And the thing is: they're right. I'm still not sure exactly who I am. At first I thought I was agender, because I felt like I didn't really care about gender or what pronouns people used for me. But then I started to think I was nonbinary. And I thought about what it'd be like to be referred to as they/them, and it felt really good. And all the while, in the back of my mind, a quiet voice said "you could be a boy?"

Quick Sidetrack: I only found out I was gay because... I watched a whole bunch of lgbtq tiktok comps (I know, kinda stupid but hear me out). I watched so many that I began to question if I was still an outsider to that group of people. Eventually, after a lot of internal screaming, I realized that I was pan and ace, and came out. My parents didn't find out the way I wanted them to, having read through my texts, but after a very uncomfortable Talk it ended up pretty okay. But I only realized because I watched so many tiktoks. And I still wonder to this day if I was only faking it until I made it. I never had gay thoughts or feelings until I learned it existed, and I still wonder to this day if I still would've ever realized if I hadn't learned about it. The same thing happened with my depression: I only realized it and started having symptoms after I learned it existed. When I was younger, I'd had multiple times where I'd lied about something bad happening to me because I wanted attention. So I worry that might've been the case, and I pretended I had depression until I actually had it because I wanted people to make it known that they care. And I wonder if that's what happened with being gay: I worry I faked it until I made it real because I just instinctively wanted to be part of a community. Later I realized I didn't know anything about my orientation and started identifying as queer. But the same thing could apply to being trans: I might have just faked it until I made(??) It, because I want to be unique and part of a community.

So anyway: I'm questioning being trans for a number of reasons. I don't want to transition medically, because that just doesn't feel like a need for me (at least right now. I am still only a kid after all.) It's more socially transitioning that I want. But if I don't want to medically transition, doesn't that mean I can't be a boy? Doesn't that mean I kinda have to be either nonbinary or agender? I guess that's most of the reason I'm questioning which one I am.

I can't be a boy. I CAN'T be a BOY.

But.... one day I started playing around with my hair. Even before I'd started questioning Things, I've had an idea of what my hair could look like that I really really want and think would make me happy but I'm too scared to ask my parents to do it. And so I was playing around with it.... And decided to try parting it on the side. The way those stereotypically emo people (not saying that's bad just based on society's views and the media) have one side of their hair basically shaved and the other long. Just to see what I would look like.

But... I looked in the mirror, and at how my hair looked short, and looking the way I'd always wanted to look, and just how MUCH it changed how I saw both my physical features and my personality... It felt... right. A thought came before I could shut it down and said "that's me. There I am. I... I actually like that person!"

But.. I'm scared of how people other than that one group of friends will react. Especially this one group of people that are my favorite people ever, that make me feel like myself and I look up to them a lot (and they're all older). What if they, and/or my parents, listen to me come out, and then say "oh. Oh no, [name]. Please no. I don't want this for you, that isn't you".

I'm scared. I'm scared that they'll say something other than what they'll probably say.

Every day, I pull my hair back and part it on the side, and see a real, ME smile break out over my face. And then I pull it back to normal, and yell at my reflection that I'm not a boy I'm a girl I'm a girl I'M A GIRL I'M A GIRL because maybe if I lie to myself say that enough I'll be able to make it true.

And another thing: everywhere isn't... Ideal, to put it mildly, for trans people. But I live in the U.S, and there's currently a lot of political discourse about whether or not they....we deserve rights. I'm worried that if Trump gets elected, or laws get passed, that I'll bring harm not only on myself but on the people I love.

But... the daydream of saying "I go by he/him (he/they????)", and wearing boy's clothes, and looking the way I always wanted to, especially with my hair, and getting top surgery (maybe) when I'm older and being able to feel my chest, and going by the name Ace (get it cuz cuz I'm asexual? Ace? I didn't realize that until after I chose it lol and I find it funny) and just... feeling free to really, truly be me... I really, really want that. So much that it hurts.

But I'm scared. I'm scared I'll make that choice, and then realize it was the wrong one. I'm scared that I'm too young to know.

I want to come out. But... it might be better to wait until I'm at least sixteen, and things would hopefully calm down a little bit politically at least, and I'm better mentally equipped to make that kind of decision. It also might give my parents time to get more comfortable with lgbtq+ stuff.

But 3 years is a long time to wait.

I guess the question is: do you have a good way to stay in the closet? To resist the urge to tell people and be patient?

Aaaaaanyway, thank you for reading my very very long rant and hope you're having a great day/night!

Hey friend, lean in close,… no, closer

There is no such thing as fake queer people

If living a certain way makes you happy, then live that way! If a certain word helps you describe that lifestyle and/or the way you feel, use it! And that doesn’t have to be the same word forever. You’re allowed to try on labels and identities and lifestyles to see which ones fit best. Its ok to try something on for a while and then decide it’s not for you and you’d like to try something else. That’s how you figure out who you are!

That’s why the whole “but they’re too young to know” thing is so silly. This is when you’re supposed to be figuring stuff out! Kids try on all sorts of different things: hobbies and interrests, friendgroups, styles, personalities, worldviews. That’s a good thing! It’s called exploring! That’s how you figure out who you want to be when you grow up. If you figured out you liked science, did some googling into different science careers, and decided you wanted to become a neurosurgeon, most people would be overjoyed and do whatever they could to support you in that pursuit, even if later down the line you found something else in the science field you were more interrested in, or maybe something outside of science entirely!

It’s the same thing for gender and sexuality. Try on different kinds of clothes to see what you like wearing. Try on different sets of pronouns to see what you like hearing. Try on labels to see which ones you vibe with. Try out new hairstyles. It’s just hair. It’ll grow back. Try on names to see which one feels like you.

And its ok to be open about the fact that you’re trying things out and might not be sure about everything yet! You can just tell people, “I think I might be transmasc (or nonbinary, or agender). I’m going by Ace and He/Him (or He/They) pronouns for now.” And yeah, some people are probably gonna be assholes about it, but those people are gonna be assholes no matter what you tell them. Let their words slide off you like water off a duck. People who care about you and want to support you will go through that journey with you.

As far as the ‘not knowing you’re gay till you’ve seen a bunch of gay stuff’ goes, that’s also completely normal. I’m pretty confident most neurosergeons didn’t know they wanted to be neurosergeons until they heard about other neurosergeons. Some people ‘always knew’ something was different about them even before they had the words for it, and some people only started seeing that thing in themselves after they’d seen it in others. Both of those are awesome and neither is any less true! That’s the fun part of learning about the human experience. You get to understand other people better, but also, you frequently stumble upon things that give you a deeper understanding of yourself.

All that being said, it’s a good idea to test the waters when it comes to parents. Coming out does not need to be an all or nothing kind of deal. You can tell the people you know with complete confidence will support you first and ask them to keep it to themselves for now. (This is a good way to test out names and pronouns by the way. A smaller group means less hassle of having to let people know you’d like to try something else) Once you feel ready (and perhaps have made some plans with your friends for some emotional support if things don’t go as well as they could have) you can bring up the topic with your parents. If you’re not sure how they’d react to you coming out directly, it might be a good idea to talk about a trans friend of yours and see what they have to say on the topic. If that goes well, pitch a hypothetical “what would happen if I came out to you.” If their response makes you nervous, you can always backpeddle and say you were just curious what their views on the subject were. If things go well, then go for it!

Anyways, as someone whose ditched a religion I no longer believed in and gone through multiple names, labels, and pronouns to find what makes me happy today, I wish you the best of luck my friend. It’s an adventure. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You’ve got to be willing to fail if you ever want to succeed at anything.

[stoopid-turtle]

Consuming Candies Pt. 1: GG and DD are le Gay

Everything is fake. I make up stuff for fun. Do not believe a word of it.

Intro post for this series

I'm a nerd so I feel I need to asterisk just about anything. Basically, this is my list of moments/candies that cemented for me a few things: 1) DD is hella gay; 2) GG is some flavor of gay; 3) that GGDD definitely had a thing around the time of the TU filming; 4) that they're still together.

1 and 2 are needed to establish 3 and, unless you go for a very different timeline than other turtles, 3 is needed to establish 4.

Such. A. Nerd.

I divided this up into 2 posts because I'm incredibly long-winded.

So, #1: DD is incredibly incredibly gay. There is no doubt in my mind. Here's why, in order with the most convincing moments first. Once I accepted these, the following points were easier to wrap my head around.

a) DD checked out another guy's ass at the Tencent Awards Night and exclaimed "Handsome" to his co-star.

Just what it says on the tin. I've watched these 5 seconds over and over, and I can't wrap my head around any other explanation. The man passes by, DD's eyes clearly sweep down, then he says "Shuai!" I'm usually skeptical of lip-readings, but this is unmistakable.

I put this as the most convincing for me because it's not a bts, there's no need for fanservice, it's an official stream of a video and there is literally no other way to interpret this. It's incredibly blatant. He's into men (and, notably, his co-star in LoF is clearly in the know since he makes the comment to her).

(Honestly, it makes me a little uncomfortable, because I've noticed DD has started covering his mouth when speaking to companions at public events, presumably so that fans can't try to read his lips. I'm sure he did not expect that ass-ogle to be noticed by anyone)

b) "I'm not talking about WWX, I'm talking about XZ." I discussed this in my turtle origin story, but this moment in the bts really knocked me over the head with that fact that DD was outright hitting on XZ. There was no way to interpret this as them joking around with the fact that their characters were in a BL relationship (a la the director referring to them as "lovebirds" or someone on the crew calling xz DD's "wife"). DD straight up flirts with GG. Gets turned down because the phrase he used was taken the wrong way. Then calls him "beautiful" (or "fairy-like"). When GG rejects this as not fitting WWX, DD just clarifies that he's talking about XZ not WWX. (Which, wow, what a line. DD is bold)

There's no het explanation for that moment, unless you want to posit that there was an intentional fabrication of fanservice (I address that issue elsewhere).

Add this on top of DD's other comments to XZ, calling him "erotic", asking for kisses, asking for him to sleep with him, declaring his love. A lot of this is joking around, but there's a safety in joking around when you're flirting with someone you like. You can retreat to the joke if they don't like it.

But this moment isn't even a joke. It's sincere. DD's flirting the fuck with GG.

It's not even hard to believe coming off a). DD is clearly into men. GG is very charismatic and seems to attract the attention of just about everybody who meets him (I get serious There's Something about Mary vibes from him sometimes in how people talk about him) (I am old. My references are old). Is it so hard to think that DD would shoot his shot?

He's on a cast with the guy, playing the love interest. They get along incredibly well. DD has a pretty high opinion of himself, to say the least. I'm not at all surprised he'd make a go for it.

There are several moments in the bts where GG teases DD for sending memes of himself (only the handsome ones) or sending (again, handsome) selfies of himself. It is funny, but it also strikes me as someone trying to get some reaction from his crush. It feels a little awkward to have GG openly teasing him about it but DD gets his revenge by showing off the pouty photo of GG, so he clearly managed to deal with it. (And GG clearly agrees that DD is handsome, so DD's text campaign worked)

c) The Nike rainbow shoes and ice cream.

Honestly, I wouldn't have this on here except for this post by potteresque-ire here on tumblr. Within the context in China at the time, and with the response DD received from his fans, it's clear that the rainbow Nikes + Ben & Jerry's were meaningful to DD. It's a shame that the political situation with Nike later required him to fall in line with the CCP and remove it, but I trust potteresque on the context that this post was a Big Deal.

d) His involvement with TU.

I've heard mixed things about the expectations for TU at the time of casting. The landscape for BL was rocky and the production company was unproven, but it was recognized that MDZS was a huge IP and so there was a chance that it could be a gigantic hit. There was also an equal risk that it would completely flop or not be allowed to air. Still, there's a fantastic interview with the non-GGDD cast of TU where the interviewer asks them if they knew that TU was going to be so big. There's a moment of awkward silence until somebody (I think WZC) just says, "No."

My understanding is that WYB was the biggest star they got on the cast. He had other opportunities, no doubt some that were more promising and that didn't result in him losing the support of his homophobic fans. But DD put his hat in the ring anyway.

Why? Maybe he wanted to roll those dice to see if he could sign on to something that would be huge. But he's also gay, and there's every possibility that he just wanted to act in a gay romance.

(This is putting aside some of the speculation that DD and GG knew each other or were even dating prior to casting.)

I bet he saw it as a rare opportunity to play a (censored) gay character, and he was willing to lose fans to do so (much like with the Nike post). DD is bold.

I go into this more when I talk about GG.

(Also, I don't know if he specifically went in for the LWJ role or if, like literally everybody else on that cast, he was trying to get the role of Xue Yang (srsly, what's up with this???), or if he just kept his options open)

e) He has no interest in women.

Just because a guy likes men doesn't mean he also doesn't like women. Except with DD, he seems to have 0 interest in women. At first, I could chalk this up to him being shy, not having much experience around girls, etc. But after a certain point, his clear disinterest has to be taken in consideration with his overt flirtiness and enthusiasm about men.

Basically, he doesn't have a problem with women. They're just not his focus in life or love. He doesn't light up around women. He lights up around men. I know this is real subjective, and that displeases my nerd heart, so the other points matter too, but this is really the heart of things. DD isn't interested in women.

Add onto this some implications he's made that he is...um...not sexually frigid (I tried to find this clip and was unsuccessful. Ah well.) and...well, you can't be shy with women and still be a horndog Leo if you're straight. That horndog energy is being directed somewhere else.

In sum, DD is just really, really gay. Don't hit me with those, "But his hobbies are so dudely" nonsense. Go meet some actual gay guys, list out their hobbies, then get back to me. DD. Is. Gay. Full stop.

#2. GG is some flavor of gay.

GG's always the more puzzling one. DD is so...loud and unapologetic. GG plays close to the vest.

I'm struck by some screenshots I saw of his university peers gossiping about him back in those days. People explicitly said he wasn't gay, so if GG was out back then, he was only out to a few people.

He came from a traditional family, and I get the vibe he was incredibly nervous at the idea of entering a gay relationship. I doubt he "didn't realize" he was gay until he met DD, because I think even the scaredest, most closeted person knows on some level that they're gay. But I think GG might have been set to remain in the closet for the long-haul.

There's an interview of GG done while filming where he's asked about DD (he smiles real big and it's really sweet). He gives the usual response of DD being slow to warm up to people, but when he's asked about his current impression, he exclaims that DD is "a lunatic" (I laugh every time I watch that). Then he comments that DD isn't scared to be "unconventional".

I can't say for certain, but it feels like it's in part a reference to DD being more bold with his sexual orientation. GG keeps things more buttoned up and close to his chest, but he clearly finds DD's lunacy appealing as he signed onto it.

Honestly, GG is hard for me to get a read on. When I see DD outside of the UT bts, I can see the continuity in his personality. I mean, yeah, everything's turned up to 11 in the UT bts because he's clearly infatuated with GG. But he's still a gremlin outside of the bts, just in a more subdued and less targeted way.

With GG, I struggle sometimes to see the continuity between his personality in the bts and his personality outside it (the wig doesn't help with this. it makes him look like a different person). Granted, I haven't delved into his solo work near as much as I have for DD (and, notably, he doesn't seem to do as much unscripted stuff as DD), but he strikes me as a person who is very adept at code-switching depending on the situation. DD is DD is DD, 24/7. GG is more adaptive to his surroundings.

I imagine that's one of the things that drew GG to DD (beyond the massive flirt-campaign...I mean, who could resist DD when he's going so freaking hard for it?).

Do I think GG's attracted to women? Honestly, not sure. I've not seen enough of his interactions with women or his history with women to say (I've spent way more time with DD outside of TU than GG). But I'm pretty sure he's attracted to men for these reasons:

a) His ideal life painting.

Put aside all the other interpretations people have for that. Just the fact that his ideal life included one (1) other person and that that person is a man is significant.

Admittedly, I don't know the background of the painting. It was used in an ad campaign, and if you watch the full video that showed the painting, the cat and bike elements are shown as inspired by stuff GG saw in a walk. I'm not sure how much creative control he had over the whole thing, and I've not been able to find anything in English about it.

But assuming that he had the freedom to paint his genuine ideal life, or at least enough of it to be the one to choose having a man in there (and why would the hotel specifically ask for a male companion in the painting?), then there's no het explanation for that. GG's ideal life is to be at the beach with his cat and another man.

b) When he wore Pride shoes to an interview.

Not just something that incidentally had a rainbow pattern. Straight-up Pride merch.

IME, allies don't wear Pride merch. Any ally I know who wears Pride merch will eventually come out as LGBT+ at some point. If you wear Pride merch, you're gay. (That's the rule)

Okay, more seriously. I grew up in the grimmer days of the 90s and 00s in US South, before rainbow-washing was profitable and before most studios felt comfortable showing even the slightest amount of gay relationships. Back when wearing a rainbow was a serious statement that would attract notice and might get you beat up (I had multiple friends who were physically attacked. I avoided it bc I am a trickster a bisexual and therefore invisible). Back then, the only people who wore Pride merch were actually gay. I can't think of any exceptions.

Later, as the situation for LGBT+ folks improved in the US (let's put aside the anxiety of the current anti-trans wave), I have seen a couple self-identified allies who wear Pride merch. But in every case, that ally eventually came out as gay. The "ally" label was a useful stopping place in their comfort with being openly gay.

Things may be different in China. I think in some ways, it probably resembles the way things were when I grew up--before gay marriage was legal and when the majority of people expressed disgust with gay people. On the other hand, the homophobia of the US has a strong religious element that doesn't seem to be present in China.

But all that regardless, wearing Pride merch is meaningful. Even now in the US, when rainbows are everywhere. It's definitely meaningful in China, where same-sex relationships are censored in the media.

c) I've discussed DD's overt flirting already, but another part of that "I'm not talking about WWX, I'm talking about XZ" video that struck me was GG's response.

He smiles, crinkles his nose, and shyly looks down. This is such a classic "I'm being flirted with and I'm into it" response (shy-person flavor). No straight guy would react to DD flirting with him like that. That reaction only makes sense if XZ is into being flirted with by men, DD in this case.

d) The BDSM conversation in the cave, complete with GG making an obscene, um, tongue gesture.

I'm trying my best to picture this as a conversation between 2 straight guys, and I'm failing here. The whole conversation is gay. Add in the literal tongue in cheek and it's incredibly flirty and suggestive. Like with C, GG's responses are just...not straight. They only make sense in a flirty context, and not one that's playing with them acting as Wangxian.

e) His involvement in TU.

This follows what I wrote for DD above. XZ was not as big a name as DD was at the time, so he was a relative unknown trying out for a role (for Xue Yang's role, specifically) on a show that may never air.

GG likely didn't have as many options open to him as DD at that time, so you could try to argue that he was just trying out for as many roles as he could.

But honestly, I think anybody who signed onto TU has higher than average odds of being LGBTQ+ themselves. Think about it. If you're queer and in the industry, you have few to no opportunities to play a role that reflects your relationships. You have few opportunities to work on a set that is overtly okay with same-sex relationships (at least, of the fictional variety).

You hear that a BL novel is being adapted and while you know BL novels are mainly for straight women, it's still gonna be a gay romance. Maybe your only chance at being involved in filming a gay romance. Of course you're going to want to be in on that.

Being in the closet sucks. Not being able to be yourself fully sucks. Back when I was a gay teen in the 90s-00s, I would just look up photos of girls kissing online (not porn. just kissing) just because I never saw that and it fed something inside of me that was missing. A part of me that was never reflected back at me. I ached for more lesbian relationships in TV and books, and I watched so many shitty movies/tv shows just because there were lesbians in it.

The media landscape is much better now here in the US, but when I think about how queer folk in the industry in China might feel, I think back to myself as a younger queer lady bursting at the seams to immerse myself in a world that actually had a space carved for me.

So yeah, being on the UT, in of itself, is a signal to me. It doesn't mean that everybody involved with it was gay. But I do think that it means that the odds of any particular person being gay is higher than in a non-BL production.

Admittedly, there's no way to prove this, and who knows? Maybe gay men would be less likely to want to work on a BL production because of the strained relationship between gay men and the boy-love genre. But I kinda doubt that because when your relationships are censored, you'll latch onto anything you can get that even resembles them. I watched countless anime made for horny fanboys because they had lesbians in them. I watched, literally, anything, no matter who created it. I know other gay girls who watched lesbian porn of the type made by and for straight men because they just wanted to see their own desires reflected at them, even if the reflection was a little wonky.

And that's just with watching media. Signing up to act in a project means you also get to connect with other people who are hypothetically okay with gay relationships. Who might even be gay, themselves. Fuck yeah, you're gonna leap on that.

So, yeah. This point is the last for both DD and GG but it's important because it establishes how I think about the production of TU. If the set had more gay cast/crew given the subject matter of the show, is it really so far-fetched that some people would hook up? Or start a relationship?

Once I convinced myself that GG and DD are some flavor of gay, the rest wasn't hard to buy into at all. But that's for the next post. :)

I am a clown and everything I say is fake. Don't buy into it.

Next Post: Consuming Candies Pt 2: DD ❤️ GG and GG ❤️ DD

[fitzrove]

God that post reminded me. Potentially controversial rant

If I have to see one more post going "men are so amazing, it's totally valid and revolutionary to love and prioritise the men in your life!! women (especially lesbians) are so mean and prejudiced about men and need to be nicer and check their biases", I'm going to..... well, I'm not going to do much but I'll be super annoyed and unfollow whoever puts it on my dash 🤣

Disclaimer: this isnt about anyone in my tumblr sphere lol you guys are cool. But anyway.....

I have many male acquaintances/casual friends IRL, through school. I tend to get along with people regardless of gender. And yet, YET, no matter how polite, friendly, funny, educated and smart they are, with most people (exceptions exist, but this is MOST people), there are inherent problems that come from existing in or alongside Guy Social Spaces as a woman. And Guy Social Spaces wouldn't exist without the guys that uphold them......

In my guy-dominated environment I actually manage to avoid most forms of (non-benevolent; benevolent sexism still sucks and makes me uncomfortable though, and I don't actively befriend guys irl because of how commonplace it is) sexism because I'm openly gay. Not being seen as an object of sexual interest and being able to fit into a bit of a "not like other girls" social role means that I don't actually have to deal with the baggage that comes with heterosexism and the heterosexual sphere (I use heterosexual to refer to all non-platonic relationships between men and women here, btw - for these purposes it doesnt matter what the sexualities of the people involved are). But like.......

I recently went to dinner with some girls and found out that the guys at my school - people that I've found all-around decent and extremely friendly and respectful to me - treat the women they date as objects. Like it's a conquest thing when they """bag""" a good-looking girl, and everyone (literally everyone) shakes hands and congratulates the guy for "getting" an attractive girlfriend. As if she's not right there (she was, she's the one who told me about what happened) and as if she didn't have 50% control of the decision to begin a relationship. And the way they talked about her body and appearance too... It's really gross and objectifying and I didn't know about this because I get to exist outside of it!! But that's really only one thing. Even outside of that, the way that people who don't have to worry about sexism or discrimination treat women and talk about them behind their backs manifests in a million small ways. And the thing is, these guys are ostensibly among "the good ones"!!! These people have intelligent conversations about social justice and equality in class and treat me with respect as a peer because I've proven both my academic and professional cred, that I can take a joke, that I'm funny, that I know enough nerd culture stuff to not be a boring ditzy fake. (The fact that these things are necessary for me to be seen as a peer is, by the way, fucked up.) But their progressive views just don't seem to apply to day-to-day social interactions and relationships....

So idk i dont think this is super eloquently put but yeah. Fuck you if you think being wary or bitching about people in places where they can't see it (ie tumblr rant posting) is a form of hatred lol. Especially when the patriarchy still exists....... you can't "guy positivity<333" yourself out of that one. I don't hate men but the people who say they do must have a reason to. And ugh about this one post that I hated in particular, I hate how it was formulated like "hating men hurts trans women too :(" bestie trans women suffer even more under the patriarchy because they (often) have to interact with guys (including sexist guys and Guy Spaces) growing up and might lose a lot of friends/have things go sour when they transition, I bet a lot of trans women online post about hating men too lol. (That latter point also goes for nonbinary people and guys who don't fit into Guy Spaces for some reason, or who don't perform masculinity in the hetero-ascribed way.) But overall yeah posts shaming me/women/lesbians for not being nicer about men (when in fact a lot of critical posts are intended to be against the system, not on all people everywhere just based on their gender identity, and a good faith reading would make this abundantly clear) are only going to make me more of a bitch sorry

(Also re: the guy loving positivity posts. Those are just boring and annoying to me sometimes sorry 😭😭😭 they frame it as some revolutionary thing that people get oppressed for when it's really not, I promise if you go outside everything is about men and everyone is obsessed with men. In my city the gay spaces are (despite claiming to be inclusive) only for gay men and every merch item sold and every song played is about dick. Men (with he/him pronouns and an openly declared guy identity) are on women's dating apps and you can't filter them out without paying. Almost nobody understands me when I first come out to them as a lesbian, they have to ask and double check if I really only like women or if I'm actually bi. I promise if you're a woman and like/date men there are like 0.00001 queer spaces where you might get a mean comment about it but UNFORTUNATELY IF YOU'RE A WOMAN WHO ONLY (or currently!) DATES WOMEN THAT IS 99.9999% OF EVERYWHERE 💀 i mean its still nice that those posts exist, its good for people to be able to find community, but i swear to god at some point im going to purge my dash to the point that the only man anyone is allowed to love and cherish in my field of vision is crown prince rudolf of austria. Taaffe is on thin ice xD 😌🤣)

[theside-b]

So that's a wrap on Wandee Goodday... honestly, a good show, with a good and solid pair of leads with chemistry in spades which proves to be the saving grace for another GMM show.

I actually thought the show had a great start (episode one excluded) with an engaging script, and all characters seemed interesting in their own right. But unfortunately something happened halfway-through that made many plot points become moot or simply cease to exist, for exemple Dee and Ter's rivalry was electric in the first couple of episodes, with that loaded baggage between them ー the moment where Dee finally steps up and Ter makes moves on him to sway his resolve was super interesting, because Dee notices and states how Ter could be manipulative, painting him as a very dangerous rival ー but that got dropped, and Ter became genuinely interest in Dee which led to the most uninteresting love rivalry between Ter and Yak.

In a way, one of theirs strongest assets didn't always play out in their favor: At one point it became simply too ridiculous to not have Dee and Yak as boyfriends, specially with the way Sarin and Sapol played them, there wasn't any room for question when it came down to their feelings ー the script needed to constantly remind us that they were not dating.

I do wonder how much of a studio interference that was, because GMM does have a tendency to pull on writers leashes when stories stray too far from their bread and butter.

There were other fumbles: Taem whole arc was weird, suddenly realizing she had feelings for Yak when not one episode prior she was supporting his relationship with Dee. They pretty much vanished with Drake's Kao , who started out with a very unique quest for love as an assexual person, only to be reduced to Yak and Dee's sexual counselor (he provided them with sexy costumes pretty much) and a speedrun romance at the very end.

One of the best parts of the show wasn't bulletproof either: Thor and Fluke's hot-n-sweet couple Yei and Cher could've easily got a 'epilogue' episode telling how they got together, there is a whole novel of them by the way, they briefly mention some of the events but it would be nice to see it and considering that were at least two fillers episodes it wouldn't be too hard to have at least one focused entirely on them. They also teased a potential Yei story around his debt and gambling addiction, only for it to be resolved in 5 minutes in a brief fist-cuff with Yak. All that said, it was truly impressive how Thor and Fluke have that thing where we get uncomfortable watching them together, like we are actually invading their privacy, which is great.

Also, they got the first on-screen gay marriage from Thailand, so I can't do anything but love them.

Yak and Dee as well seemed to be watered down compared to what they were initially presented. When they argue why they won't commit to each other we get brief glimpses of what was their initial pitches: Dee went through some bad experience that made him averse to relationships, whereas Yak fears that his sexuality will cause problems in the competitive fighting world. Two stories way more interesting than what we got, and worse is that both plots were simply brushed aside for the "fake-boyfriends" approach.

The one story that wasn't altered and remained solid from start to finish was the complicated relationship of the Phadetseuk family, hands down the most complex in the show and the fact that Yei and Yak's sexuality wasn't an issue, but his father still had issues with them was great.

I know they were on a brutal schedule, there are reports of filming happening for the same week's episode, which more often than not reduces quality and demands script adjustments. I might be coming off too critical, it just that there was so much potential left out.

But what we got was good, could've been great, but it was good.

[tiredly101]

Cute villain

Pairing: Wally Darling x Villain!Male reader

Illustrated Au, this post was adopted from another account because they are deleting it soo I adopted it with permission of the original author, I did make some changes to adapt it to my writing style! Picture belongs to @eechytooru

In all fairness, having the Wally Darling steal M/n's heart was definitely not part of his plan to cause mayhem in the sweet neighbourhood. It was supposed to be a perfect plan, down to the very last step everything had been thought and analysed on how you were going to make a mess of the bright and cheery village. He'd change directions of sign posts sending people to the wrong places, swap envelopes so people would get the wrong mail, put snail on their plants and replace the stores fruit with fake fruit.

At first it was going well, Barnaby was wondering around completely lost wondering why the sign to the shop ended up pointing him toward the complete other side of the village or why Julie was getting bug magazines and not hair ones in her mail and why Poppys beautiful flower beds were being devoured by hungry snails.

This was all so amusing for M/n until he felt a tap on his shoulder from behind him in his little hiding spot in the trees. Because M/n was busted he jumped a little, letting out a little squeak when he turned to see none other than Wally Darling staring into his eyes with a unrecognisable look.

Only once he held out one of M/n's fake apples with a giant gap of it missing you realised he bit into one, well sort of? Maybe he blinked into one? He eats with his eyes, which although was kinda weird to M/n he also found it kinda cool but the it dawned on him that Wally wasn’t very happy about his apples being tampered with.

Although this was M/n's plan all along he can’t help but feel guilty but suddenly guilt is the last thing he feel when Wally tips his head up and stares into M/n's eyes which made him melt in Wally's hands. For a split second it makes M/n uncomfortable, did he make Wally that mad? But then Wally lets out a smile and his grin widens which manages to confuse M/n completely.

“You’re so so silly M/n, I do enjoy watching you do your little pranks but next time please leave my apples out of it," Wally said softly and then he chuckles softly when you tumble over your apology and he pulls you into a tight hug.

“Haha! Look at you, your as red as a apple! Maybe I should eat you instead to make up for this one,” M/n was going back and forth from flustered to being confused and the a tad scared. Could he actually eat him tho? He technically would just have to blink, it wouldn’t be hard in M/n's perspective. Wally sees M/n's panicked expression and so he pats his head softly and gives M/n a friendly smile.

“Bye bye neighbour, I hope to see you around more," said Wally before walking off back to Home leaving the fake apple in your hand. Sort of dazed M/n just stand there for a little. M/n was supposed to bring chaos and not suffer it chaos himself.

What left M/n a blushing mess was how just a few little words from Wally and he made could make steam blast out his ears. M/n was sure his face was so warm that it could fry a egg and yet he started to feel bad. Wally was always so nice and kind to M/n no matter what cunning tricks or prank M/n played on him.

He felt guilty, he denied it tho because that little village being all cheerful and bright annoys him beyond explanation and that includes Wally which means he can't be an exception…

And yet, Wally Darling... he was so warm and kind, he reminded M/n of the pleasant soft sun of a evening, not to harsh and intense but just enough to be perfect.

"Aw shit," said M/n softly admitting to himself that he couldn't deny it anymore, he was absolutely smitten over Wally which was embarrassing in his perspective, there’s no way on earth he could face the guy again.

Unknown to M/n's very obvious subtle gay panic, the village people are huddled in tight trying to figure out how to stop his antics.

“This has gone on long enough! The mayhem he is causing is not ment for Welcome Home," exclaimed Frank while frowning.

“He’s right, it’s just unacceptable... We have to kick him out of the neighbour,” Poppy said anxiously while grasping a bunch of half eaten flowers.

As this discussion continued didn't input a word. He himself was thinking about how cute M/n looked when he caught him red handed, all on edge like a little bunny perked up when the sound of someone being near. Personally he knew your pranks would go to far sometimes but couldn’t bring himself to care, it was always a excuse to see him! So this discussion meant little to him until he heard something he didn't like.

“Well! We’ll need to set a date to be rid of him! Perhaps tomorrow or the day after...,” Sally exclaimed while everyone nodded in approval. "A date? A date… yes, yes! That’s what he’ll do," was what Wally thought before getting up happily catching everyone's attention.

“A date.. yes, your right Sally. I’ll ask him on a date!,” Wally said happily and the way the villagers heads turned so quick, he could almost hear the wind from the force of it.

“Wait- Wait, Wally not THAT kind of date! I think your confused?,” Barnaby tried to explain before Wally interrupted with a cherry smile and soft blush.

“No no, I’m sure of it. I must ask him on a date!,” said Wally and without another second he was dashing off back to Home leaving not a single explanation to the other villagers to write a love letter.

After spending hours rewording what to say and adding cute little drawings Home finally shoved Wally out, forcing him to confess by locking him out and this lead to him walking around swiftly, full of excitement until he found M/n resting so peacefully under a tree. He wasn’t sure if he had the heart to wake you since you looked so cute but he knew he couldn’t back down now, mostly because if he did it would end with him leaving on the streets for at least a week.

Carefully sitting beside M/n he gently nudged him until he showed signs of waking up, M/n's sleepy expression made it hard for Wally to not squeeze M/n's cute cheeks and pepper his face with little kisses but now was not the time.

“Good morning M/n,” said Wally softly while looking how M/n tried to adjust his eyes to the light.

“Oh! Uh Wally, good morning? What are you doing here?," Asked M/n shyly while looking at Wally thorough half lidded eyes. If M/n wasn't so disoriented from just waking he would probably scream of embarrassment. Waiting for Wally reply ended with him grasping you hand and placed the letter in it, encouraging him to read it now.

He could see M/n's beautiful eyes dart across the page re-reading it over and over again the same word just making sure that he wasn't dreaming. Until Wally touched M/n softly which made him jump a little. M/n looked at him with a shocked and flushed face which made Wally wish he could keep this moment forever ingrained in his mind, maybe he would paint it to keep the memory but snapping out of his thoughts he realised M/n was yet to reply.

M/n was simply in awe and just didn’t quite believe it until Wallys yellow cheeks started to turn light pink realizing that he was blushing. M/n didn’t even know he could do that... it was a very cute sight and without thinking he held Wally pink dusted cheek in his hand. Wally quickly melted into M/n's touch while placing his soft hand on his that was positioned on his face, and he just stared at M/n and admired him.

Any fear of rejection melted away as he watched M/n fighting to hide back a huge grin and almost jumped into him incasing him into a big hug.

“Does this mean you feel the same way?,” Wally questioned while he chuckled, hugging you back after going limp for a couple seconds.

“Oh Wally, all that and more,” M/n said, nuzzling deeper into Wally's welcoming embrace. Maybe, just maybe he could hold fire on the pranks for now, after all it looks as if M/n has more important things in his schedule for now...

"Better said a more important someone"

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

im so sorry to send you this but im confused. i thought izzy hands was obviously homophobic while i was watching the show but now people on the internet are telling me that calling him gay and homophobic is a conspiracy theory. i want to trust my instincts on this as a queer myself but they say it so much i think im starting to believe it. i know literally none of this matters but its genuinely bumming me out. maybe we all just have slightly different definitions of homophobia?

I would love to answer this for you. Your instincts are correct. Izzy is gay and homophobic. You should trust your gut on this because it's important for you be able to identify guys like Izzy irl if you're someone who might be on the receiving end of homophobia.

What happened is that back in June of 2022 everyone fully agreed that Izzy was one of those repressed gay men who's internalized homophobia rotted his soul and became externalized. We wanted to put him in a jar. We all interested in how this weird little freak got this way. Then everything changed when the canyon formed. Since then it has been a mad dash to beat the allegations. Unfortunately an actor has validated them in a way that makes me really wonder about him frankly, because he seems to be operating under the impression that people are saying that Izzy is a "homo sex is sin" Style homophobe when nobody was saying that, what we were saying is that Izzy is incredibly weird about and hateful towards feminine men and he believes that Stede is corrupting Ed with his foppishness, which is still homophobia it's just a different brand of homophobia than the religious right's obsession with the mechanics.

Tbh tho I don't actually care about that actors' take because he's not a writer, he has a history of not being very good at reading the subtext given that he fully didn't realize it was a gay show for half the episodes, and David Jenkins has liked multiple metas on twt about Izzy being a homophobe so I'll trust that lol. The only consequence that Con O'Neill being publically wrong has had for me is that people occasionally do an unearned victory lap when he says something.

But also I low key sometimes feel incredibly unsafe knowing that there's a substantial group of people who claim to be queer and against homophobia but who can't understand that the whole subplot with Lucius in episode 5 and the thing with Ed in episode 10 is laced with bigotry against feminine gay men. I don't think admitting that means you have to think it's his only motivation or that it's contradictory to the read of him being attracted to Ed and Lucius or with the concept that he's mostly just power hungry, but it does sort of mean that I have to move through the world knowing that there are people in my own community who would fully blame me if something happened to me. I don't fucking like it. That's why I get so upset about this so publicly. It's like so what happens if I get attacked but the guy calls me a namby pamby or a bitch instead of a faggot. Are you gonna be like "well we don't know~". It's just an uncomfortable thought. I don't understand why they're so desperate to beat the allegations either, like he's fake. People who have experienced things like what Ed and Lucius went through at his hands are real. The argument that gay people can "do something to (someone)'s brain" is written into legislation trying to ban trans people from public life. Nobody wants you to stop liking Izzy we just want you to stop saying shit that's harmful

And I don't necessarily think that everyone who chooses to put more emphasis on Izzys obsession with Ed wouldn't be able to identify a hate crime, I just have seen more than one piece of meta that goes "Izzys not homophobic he just thinks Stede is a mincing fop who's corrupting Ed with his frilly whiles there's nothing homophobic about that" and I just have to block them for being homophobic themselves because what else do I do with that? When I vague post about this shit I'm talking about specific ass things that I've seen that have made me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe not generic canyon trends. I just really feel like we need to calm down about Izzy. Like you can feel empathy towards a gay guy that hates himself and write a bunch of fic about him getting laid without deciding actually he did nothing wrong and everyone who can see that that's not true is making shit up to oppress *checks notes* people who like a fictional character. I don't get why that's so hard to do.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - June

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.06.2023

Here you can find my weekly roundup that goes into a bit more detail about each episode.

And a little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Alice in Borderland Season 1 (1/8 on Netflix, no bl)

One day I was in the mood for some dystopian and uncomfortable watch and here we are. After that day I needed something cuddly and colorful, so I guess it will take me a while to finish it. But the first episode was really good.

2. Be My Favorite (6/12 on Youtube)

At first glance, Kawi is a loser. At second glance, a crazy loser. When he tries to travel back in time to change his life, it doesn't necessarily go in the direction he had in mind or Pisaeng, the later husband of Kawi's crush. But this series is so much more. Kawi is like our inner voice of insecurities and inadequacies. And it is like healing a little bit watching him gaining a little bit more self confidence and self love.

3. Dinosaur Love (1/10 on iQiyi)

This is a hellfire of a show. It is bad. But I had a blast. I can't tell you what it is about, because I have no clue! All I know is I love it. It is so bad, that it is good!

4. His Man Season 2 (5/14 on Gaga)

The korean dating show is back! I loved the first season and the second just started really good. I guess there will be some drama in those 14 episodes, but the first dates were so cute! I am looking forward to next week!

5. King the Land (3/16 on Netflix, no bl)

You know the feeling, you wake up in the morning and you're craving some good korean romance drama? That happend t me today and so I just thought give this a shot and it is good. Cheon Sa Rang works as a concierge at the King Of The Land Hotel and there she always has to wear a smile, fake or real doesn't matter. She meets the new boss in town Gu Won, who just can't stand fake smiles, but I guess her beautiful and real smile will make him fall head over heals.

6. La Pluie (9/12 on iQiyi)

Saengtai goes deaf whenever it rains. The only voice he can hear in his head is his soulmate's one. But he refuses to answer it, because Tai doesn't believe in things like love or soulmates. That is until he meets his soulmate for the first time and his soulmate is a such a cutie, that Saengtai cannot longer fight against his destiny. It is surprisingly good and funny and charming.

7. See you in my 19th life (3/12 on Netflix, no bl)

It was a suggestion, sounded interesting, so I watched it and I really enjoyed the first episode. Ban Ji Eum is able to remember her past lifes. Her 18th one ended way too soon and in her now 19th life she wants to meet the one person again, who brought her joy again after 100 years of being tired of reincarnating and remembering all the pasts lifes. A very interesting concept and I like how bold and confident Ban Ji Eum is.

8. Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... (3/8 on Gaga or Viki)

Kazuma and Ren were close friends during middle school and now meet again years later after their ways parted. We get some cute flashbacks and much cuter interactions in the here and now. I really enjoyed this first episode. It has potential, I like the hair tousle.

9. Sparks Camp (5/8 on Youtube)

Philippines's first gay dating reality show! And it's giving you everything you're looking for! Well at least a bunch of cute and cringy moments! And I am sold!

10. Step by Step (10/12 on Gaga)

Employee meets boss without knowing who he has met and crushes hard on him, just tells him what everyone thinks about the new boss and is just adorably clumsy infront of him. I adore the friend group! I hope we get to see them support Pat a lot. But there is more...An ex who is not quite out of the window yet, a toxic work enviorment, with some really sweet rays of hope in between, a second couple I lost my heart for (again the side dish...), which might be a little bit problematic, but who cares? Well, at least not me.

11. The Luminous Solution (5/6 on Gaga)

Every wish comes with a price...We meet Thana and Patis, a couple of over a decade. While Thana tries to holds closeness to his partner, Patis is working non stop at the hospital and doesn't see that his partner is suffering. And now Thana lost his job and his mother is in depth. One evening he enters a very special café, which only shows itsself to people who are in deep need for a wish. But can you pay the price? As a second couple we meet Mai and Ryou, who become enemies on the first day of school and who will have some obstacles to overcome to be together. And there is Ryous best friend, I guess he has a huge crush on Ryou. How they will end up in the café? I don't know, but I am intrigued.

12. Tie The Not (2/8 on Youtube)

And another Pinoy BL from Onix Films. It is a miniseries and it shows. The plot is a little bit rushed and not really round.

Finished in June

Series

Our Skyy 2 (16/16 on Youtube)

This one is telling what happens after the happily ever after of our favorites of the last two years. We have some supernatural stuff, some boring stuff, some cringe stuff and some fluff stuff. Over all I wasn't that excited. I really liked My School President and the last part of A Tale of thousand stars. Besindes that it was not that special to me. I give it a 6 out of 10 (mostly because all the PhuTian fluffiness we've got)

2. Bokura no Shokutaku (9/10 on Gaga)

This is a comfort watch. Hozumi Yutaka likes to cook and is good at it, but he can't eat infront of other people. Meeting Tane and his older brother Ueda Minoru his life seems to change and he may finally have found what his body and soul were longing for. It had some tense moments, but in the end it felt really comforting and calming. It wasn't that hectic or full of drama. It is a very good adaptation and I liked it very much. A good 9 out of 10 for me.

3. A Business Proposal (10/10 on Netflix - no bl)

Can a fake relationship with a lots of lies from all sides end up being true love? Yes it can I and I loved their journey. I loved to see how Kang Tae slowly fell for Shin Ha Ri and how he tried to get her to date him for real. This was just a cute watch and it made my sunday just very comfy and I had a lot of fun. Totally binge watch material. For me a 8,5 out of 10.

4. My Story (9/10 on Youtube)

Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10. Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10.

5. Hometown Cha Cha Cha (16/16 on Netflix)

This is such a wholesome and feel-good series. Even though it dealt with some really tough trauma and I was bawling my eyes out, I loved it and it felt overall good. Sometimes it was a little bit too sweet and especially the later episodes just didn't fit with the beginning of the series. I am very happy, I gave this one a try! Overall 8,5 out of 10 for me.

6. Love Tractor (6/8 on iQiyi)

City boy meets Farm boy who is a little innocent puppy and city boy can't stop falling in love with this pure soul. I read the manhwa and I loved it and this adaptation cut a LOT out, but it was so cute and good and lovable! The characters really fit the original source. Almost perfect. And we get a really good kiss! So extra points here. For me a 9,5 out of 10.

7. Zenra Meshi aka Naked Dining (12/12 on Gaga)

Not gonna lie, this one was exhausting for big parts. I guess it is about fate and two people meant to be together, and that would have been really nce and sweet, but there was so much bad drama. In my opinion the girl new that Souta had a Crush on Mahiro. Her trying to date him anyways and getting annoyed that he spends so much time with the other person was just...annyoing. And the communication and misunderstandings...It could have been something better in my opinion. And there was definitely too little naked dining. It is a 6,5 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

Movie

1. Restart After Come Back Home (on Gaga)

This one is about finding your place in life, accepting others and yourself for the way they are and about hope and forgiveness, family and love. It is a wholesome and beautiful movie. I must admit, first I didn't like both of our mains, but I guess that is part of the plan, because as they grow during the movie I became more and more fond of them. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Rewatched in June

1. History 2: Crossing The Line

It is always good to come back here. I like how both of the leads fall for eah other. To see the struggle Qiu Zi Xuan has with allowing himself to have feelings for Xia Yu Hao. And how sure Xia Yu Hao is about his own feelings. And it has volleyball. Not that I am a big fan, but I like sport bls.

2. Sweet Curse

A korean short film about a friend who is jealouse of the popular guy and summons a ghost to hunt said friend. But the friend falls in love with the ghost and the ghost with him and we get a weird and unconventional, but cute and steamy lovestory. Well, in Strongberry we trust.

Dropped/On-Hold in June

Looking forward to in June

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai aka Let's Eat Together (In Japanese Cinema on June 2)

Ever After (Youtube on June 3)

Tin Tem Jai Special (Youtube on June 3)

Love Tractor (iQiyi on June 7)

Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... aka Tokyo in April (Viki and Gaga on June 16)

Tie The Not (Youtube June 24)

Dinosaur Love (iQiyi on June 25)

His Man Season 2 (Gaga on 23rd)

The Internship

[mrs-monaghan]

I want to say something. I'm a pjms so I don't ship jikook and taekook. Anyway, I noticed that this fandom hate jikook, in fact everytime there are jokes about them married or boyfriends, army get mad. But if you talk about yoonmin or taekook or namkook or vmin, they don't have problems with these ships. So, why all this hate?? Maybe it's jikook fault, if you think about it. Jikook are not the other duo, sometimes they act awkward (for example, the bb where jungkook met jimin, it was really weird to watch it, even if they were holding hands, jungkook was really cold with jimin), sometimes they act close, sometimes they act like strangers. Now they're in hiatus era, it means they're private. So people don't understand their relationship. They're close or not? If they were that close why they don't see each other? So maybe they were faking it etc.? Why Jungkook made some things for Jimin only but sometimes he seems he is refusing him?? Why Jimin always mentioned Jungkook and not anymore?

The problem is that jikook are weird so people don't like what they don't understand.

Are u an insecure Jikooker pretending to be a none shipper? You better not be. I'm watching you

Okay. Here is where an anon and I talk about why JK behaves the way he does with Jimin Vs other members. And here i talk about JK Vs the camera.

When it seems awkward its because it is. That BB had like really bad editing actually. How many times did they say goodbye? JK was on the left side already saying he's leaving while they hold hands..there's a cut and he's on their other side still saying goodbye. How long did they do that for exactly??

Jimin checking his man out as he was leaving is everything though 🤭🤭

Anyway, anon this is the first time Jikook were on camera together just them since chapter 2 started. For me it seemed like they're so used to just being them they forgot how to act on camera. The amount of times JK kept glancing at the damn thing. And we know he is only self conscious like that when its around Jimin.

Anon idk how else to explain tension to you. If u can't see it I can't help u. Like seriously I don't think its possible. Some things you have to pick up on yourself.

This fandom doesn't hate Jikook because they don't understand them. They hate them because Jikook scares them. It is easy to say Namgi real or Taekook real or Jihope real. Its easy to ask Jihope to kiss already and for all Armys to come together and laugh about it. It's easy to laugh about Namkook and their history. Because they know these people are not actually together. They give off normal bro vibes. But its hard to make jokes about a couple when they indeed behave like a couple.

You can joke with your friend for 'acting gay' but if he was actually gay then the joke wouldn't be funny and also it would be weird to do that because he is indeed gay. So you're just pointing out something that's true.

Jikook makes this fandom uncomfortable anon. Thats why they don't like talking about them.

P.s -> JK likes to be in control of situations. If he's the one intiating skinship its okay. Because he's in control. But when someone else puts him in that position it catches him off guard and it can make him look miffed. More so especially when its Jimin. Because with him there is something to hide and so it makes JK on high alert.

[royalsnis]

https://www.tumblr.com/royalsnis/713020923426570240/i-love-this-blog-its-a-nice-female-only-space

Lmao yeah i sincerely would have bet you do.

The queer identified girlies always have a mob of bi (and het saying they’re bi) guys interested in playing the “I’m into you in a suuuuuper gay way” strat to appeal to your fetishization of gay men and boys and get more pussy

Also lol love the “it’s creepy!!!” pearl clutching over the idea of the artist you’re beefing with printing out your work. Get a sense of humor babe. You think she did it to what, fake that you’re her fan for real? It’s funny to take haters and be like oooo thanks my biggest fan 😍🥰 that is the oldest anti-shithead move in the book. Like if you replied to this post with that exact line, should I say it’s “creepy” how you twist my words to say I must be a big fan of yours? Or would it be the classic joke again?

Your weird sexual obsession is really sad. Saying I have cis male friends doesn't mean I want to sleep with them or vise versa and it is yeh, a bit creepy to assume that.

I myself am a Bi man, so a lot of bi people resonate with my comics and stories and characters on my Insta. I've chatted with them at times, and we've connected over the shared experiences we have as Bi people- like for example, your claim that monosexual people fake being Bi for sex. Another thing we have to deal with because people automatically assume it's all we want.

I'm engaged and have been in a relationship for 3 years now, I'm not going around flirting with strangers because I'm Bi. I'm not "fetishizing" cis gay men for existing either. If a cis gay man did not want to date me, I do not care. If they did, I also do not care- I'm not even available for relationships? Pfft.

And on another note, it is in fact weird to take art of my ocs that extremely losely based off of her own, and plaster them up on her wall. It doesn't change the fact that all those people are uncomfortable with or don't like her. She also obsessives over genitals and not only misgenders but constantly points out genitalia to said people who don't like her (thus includes cis women too) which is also weird as several of them are minors. Rusty thinking simply because she's a women, she can't be creepy or make people uncomfortable, which is why so many victims of afab violence, aren't heard or believed.

Trans or not, it's not just her reactions to her haters but also her obsession with their privates that has made me feel so uneasy. I know it's to be transphobic but pointing out I have a "vulva" doesn't give me disphoria, it just makes me uncomfortable as to why a stranger cares about what's in my pants in the first place.

[sharpth1ng]

(WARNING cause I mention body dysphoria?). Hi, I'm a Trans man (AFAB) and I hope this question doesn't make you uncomfortable or insults you, I'm just always struggling and wondering if how I feel is wrong... I read Debaser both the trans and the cis version. I haven't had surgery yet and thought the trans version would make me more comfortable but somehow it triggered my body dysphoria more? :( I know not every trans person has body dysphoria but moments like these I always wonder "am I faking it?? Am I really trans??" and it makes me feel bad for prefering the cis version since that's how I want to be...? Idk :( halp. If you don't feel comfortable with my ask please feel free to ignore it 🫶

Hey, so I just want to say there's nothing wrong with preferring the cis version. I started writing Debaser as the cis version because I was extremely dysphoric at the time and I kept writing that version in case I became dysphoric again. Sometimes I only want to read content with trans people, but sometimes I can't, and I think for me that comes from the fact that I experience two types of dysphoria.

The first type mostly comes from the fact that our bodies are represented in unnecessarily binary, gendered ways, and from the fact that society devalues bodies that aren't cis, white, thin, or abled. This can make me feel like other people still see me as a woman because of my body parts, or that they see me as a broken or lesser man. The solution to this, at least for me, has been to consume and make art that depicts trans bodies like mine having a good time and being treated like desirable people in ways that align with their gender, regardless of what body parts they have.

Before I had top surgery this helped me a lot. I could look at trans men with tits who I saw as attractive men, and it helped me look at my own body and not immediately think "womanwomanwoman" because of my chest.

There's still the other type of dysphoria though and this one is harder to deal with (at least for me). This one has nothing to do with how people treat me or how I am seen, and everything to do with the fact that some of my body parts feel wrong or feel missing. It was helpful to deal with the social stigma of having tits, and to learn to process my chest as something that was male too, but it didn't take away the wrong feeling of having them. I could have lived the rest of my life in a box, unseen by anyone, and I still would have wanted top surgery. I didn't get it to be seen as more male by others, I got it so that I could feel like myself in my own body.

Not everyone is going to experience both of these (or either of them) and there are probably people who experience this in an entirely different way. But for me these things are the difference between feeling like explicit trans media is affirming or not. If you are experiencing the social stigma kind of dysphoria, then it might be helpful. Writing trans debaser was good for me in this way because I haven't seen a lot of trans men depicted the way I've depicted Billy, especially in fan-fiction and in smut, and that helped me to change the way I see myself a bit as well.

But I still experience the other kind of dysphoria too, and I've had top surgery, I've been on hormones, but I'm not planning on having bottom surgery, and that's hard. This has nothing to do with the way my body is seen by others and everything to do with the body part it feels like i'm missing. And again, I could live the rest of my life in a box and never fuck again but I would still have bottom dysphoria at times.

Normalizing my body and valuing other trans bodies helps, but only to a point. I look at trans men with surgery, with no surgery, with hormones or no hormones and I feel absolutely feral because I'm gay and those are hot men. Their bodies are hot male bodies regardless of what parts they have. That can help me understand that other people can still look at me and see a desirable man regardless of parts but it doesn't change the internal experience I have with my own body when I'm feeling this kind of dysphoria.

When feeling this way I don't necessarily want to consume or create explicit stuff with transmasc bodies, even when it is written in a way I would find affirming in another mood. Sometimes I just need to read about people with the bodies I felt like I was supposed to have and forget my own body for a little while.

The reality is that dysphoria is different for everyone and at least for me it fluctuates. Things that trigger it at one time may not trigger it at another. It's ok to not want to read explicit trans content, and it's ok to prefer content with cis folks right now. You need to take care of yourself and listen to your brain, and if its not safe for your brain to read this kind of content then avoid it as long as you need to. If and when you do feel safe, I suggest trying out some content with trans folks (whether or not thats my content), because it really does help to break down that social stigma dysphoria, but it's also ok if it never feels safe to do that.

And in terms of the worry that you're faking it or not really trans I just want to say thats a really simple question to answer and you're the only one who can answer it. Do you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth? If not, then you can identify as trans. You might even still identify with parts of it and that’s ok too (shout out to the trans masc lesbians and the femme trans men who still feel an attachment to womanhood) Your gender is allowed to change as many times as it needs to, and the way you feel about your body is allowed to change too.

Anyways this has been really long, but yeah. Its ok if trans Debaser didn't feel affirming to you, it means nothing about your gender identity. I do try to have as many disclaimers on that version as possible, I want people to be able to make informed choices to keep themselves safe, and that's because I recognize that no one depiction is going to feel affirming to every transmasc, and that's ok.

I hope you're doing alright, there's nothing wrong with the way you feel 🖤

[mrfancyfoot]

Today I logged into facebook for the first time in nearly 4 years and went through every profile in my friends list (like ~300) and purged out all the assholes (anyone who openly voted for Trump, other conservatives, and those who I strongly believe did). I've done this before so there weren't many but there are a number that have been wishy-washy with being outward in their bigotry and it helps me keep a mental list of people that deserve only the most very basic level of respect that I can muster because they certainly do not respect me nor people I care about nor many of their fellow human beings. Most disheartening is seeing friends and family who continue to put effort into engaging with people who argue in bad faith and weaponized ignorance.

I dated a man for nearly a year who went to women's and pro-choice rallies and liberal groups with me and said many times that he "was on my side" but turned out to be lying the whole time because he knew I definitely wouldn't date him otherwise. I'd known him for years before since we ran in the same friend circle. I wasn't the only one he had fooled. He slowly lifted the mask until we were constantly arguing because of his bigoted and racist remarks. His favorite thing to do was act oppressed and show me the most obvious Russian propaganda that he would get upset at me for fact-checking and asking for real sources. He wanted to argue, so what he hated most was when I refused to argue with him. Nothing I said was going to change his mind, so I wasn't going to humor or tolerate it (we didn't last long after that point, but by that time, I was afraid of leaving without an excuse that would be "good enough" for him). He legitimately wants civil war so that he can play survival hero and feel validated in his hatred. It didn't come on quickly and a lot of the comments started as "odd" off the cuff things through the time that we dated. He was very much pretending to be a kind person and once really called out, that pretense dropped. He thought I was more like him and that a lot of my regard and kindness for others is "fake." Because that's what a lot of people like that do - they fake being kind for optics, they are not actually kind people, and therefore presume that everyone else is doing the same thing. It's given me major trust issues.

Can't say this enough: these people feel validation in their bigotry when you continue to associate with them. They need to be dropped. They need to learn that their shitty beliefs mean that they get shunned. Make them feel uncomfortable. Quit tiptoeing around and coddling their delicate little feelings because they might get upset. It's okay for them to get upset because someone was mean and told them they don't like them because they think gay and trans people shouldn't exist. I once made a post about how a raped 11 year old child should never be expected to give birth, was told that it was "god's will" and like 5 people piled on the guy so badly he told us to stop being "mean" to him and was terrified to talk to me at work ever again (I have since cut all ties and no longer work with him). I'm personally extremely tired of playing nice for the sake of possibly "converting" someone - especially because you can be polite in telling someone to fuck off with their beliefs. Their beliefs are dangerous, are going to result in people losing their lives, and a frightening number of them are completely okay with that. We need to stop being tolerant of intolerance. It is okay to cut people (including family) from your life when all their presence does is bring you stress and harm.

In a similar vain, don't let the people who chose not to vote (or "protest voted") stick their heads in the sand to escape blame. They are just as culpable as anyone else who directly voted for Trump and other conservatives. They need to grow the fuck up.

For a lot of liberals, it's really uncomfortable to be confrontational and feel like you're being intolerant of someone, but it's way past time to play hardball and call them out instead of coddling them, especially as we're going into the holiday season where many of us will be seeing family with shitty views and targeted family that may need someone to stand up for them. Let them know they're shitty and inappropriate and a disappointment and unworthy of your regard because they certainly lack it for others. Obviously still be safe, but many of us very likely aren't losing anything of value in that scenario. Not having bigoted family members in my life in any way has made me so much happier.

A helpful tip to those who may find themselves in a confrontation: do not stay engaged. Let your views be known and then disengage. Because many of them love to argue and feel like they're defending themselves (many are addicted to those feelings of hatred and overcoming "oppression"), what they don't like is being ignored and feeling like you're rinsing your hands of them. They don't deserve your stress and constant efforts. There are ways to open a dialogue when they are willing to discuss civilly with an open mind, but if they bring intolerance, just shut it down.

(via jhig8bd0cczd1.png (PNG Image, 744 × 810 pixels))

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I read about it too. They plan to throw bottles and stuff at Jimin. If they did attempt such a thing, I do hope they face consequences. It's one thing to just "ship" a duo they like, but this... ? Such a toxic group of fans.

I just don't get why they have an issue with Jimin and Jungkook's interactions, and never with Jungkook and other members like Hobi etc.. What are jimin and jungkook supposed to do, ignore each other on stage and in shoots etc.?

They want Jimin gone, possibly forever. That's their deep desire, but they want to settle with at least Jimin and Jungkook ignoring each other. They use Jungkook for their fake narrative that he is uncomfortable with Jimin in order to have their feelings validated. Jungkook for them is still a selfish asshole who does fanservice because it's the only way taekook can hide their love. Nuts, I'm telling ya.

But what do they expect? How does the fantasy work? Do they imagine that after their emails and banners to stop business gay, Hybe will have a meeting with JM and JK or all the members and they will decide that from now on, JM and JK will ignore each other, act as if they don't exist? Because that will definitely work for everyone involved in BTS and their work won't be affected and they will continue to thrive as a group. Will they have to ignore each other off camera as well, no more hanging out together, going out to eat? Because taekookers definitely think that Jungkook hates Jimin, so there is no way he would willingly spend time with Jimin. What is he supposed to do? Imagine calling his mom, being like ''Hey mom, please don't ever say I love you to Jimin and do not ever get in contact with him? All family connections and friendship must be stopped right now. I never liked Jimin and I had to fake this for 10 years. I've been suffering for so long, sorry I haven't said anything, but finally my most special fans who can see how much Tae and I struggle, decided to do something about it and that gave me the courage to free myself from the shackles of Jimin. I can't live in a lie anymore. Ok, bye, Love you!''

And then when they have to work, the atmosphere on set and during their concerts will be peachy, everyone happy, making jokes, Jimin will be the outcast and no one will have a problem with any of it. Because true love triumphs and that's the most important thing in life.

Once someone is knee deep in a conspiracy and it becomes an important part of their daily life, it's incredibly hard for them to look outside of their bubble. It becomes part of their identity and the more they hear information and see something that doesn't align with their belief, the more aggressive they become.