#but only after she convinces ed/ward

[ezsme]

she is not blind to what you hide, though it would serve her well to pretend she was. carlisle hides nothing from her. no secret randevu. no torrid affair. all of it is laid out before her, true and honest and as sure as the sun. there are no secrets between them. but there are things they do not discuss, names that are kept in the darkest part of the mind. yours is such a name. aro, feared and loved. she will never understand why he loved you, still loves you. all you represent, all you behold, is bloodshed and carnage.

she makes no move as you rise from your throne, as you make your way towards her. esme bends no knee, but she will not willing endanger her life. not when a wayward child is so close to death's door. not when more could follow.

alice's words ring in her ears: he's going to do something rash. if the volturi won't kill him of their own free will, he will make them strike him down.

" forgive me, @agedrot. i do not mean to offend you. i am only worried for my son. " her own hands rest before her, soft fingers clasped in supplication. the voice of a mother fills the air, it's tone soft, laced with the softest note of fear. " edward is unwell. i am sure you are aware for his earlier display. i find it hard to believe you would let one of carlisle's children out of your sight if they posed a risk to exposing us all. " a dangerous game she plays, invoking the name of the one who once held your heart. by time is running out. " please, aro. you must know something. " continued from here.

[annaandmiah]

ED MEDIA

MOVIES

★ little miss perfect ★

an overambitious high school freshman tries to control her life by controlling her weight.

➜ watch on soap2day

★ starving in suburbia ★

17-year-old Hannah joins a dangerous “thinspiration” online community where users treat anorexia as a lifestyle rather than a disorder.

➜ Watch on Vimeo

★ sharing the secret ★

beth turns to binging and purging as a way to control one aspect of her life, but her habits quickly spiral out of control and force her to seek treatment.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hmujb3ndoo0

★ for the love of nancy★

follows the main character as she starts college, becomes more and more withdrawn, starts a regimented exercise routine, stops eating, and begins losing an unhealthy amount of weight.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cgvxvq33swy

★ a secret between friends ★

when two teenage girls become fast friends and decide to diet together, things go from bad to worse, ultimately leading to the near death of one of the girls.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vmf4cd1fxge

★ dying to dance ★

➜ a young woman succumbs to pressure at ballet school and develops anorexia nervosa.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hi5ww4z-rx8

★ girl, interrupted★

based on writer susanna kaysen's account of her 18-month stay at a mental hospital in the late 1960s.

➜ Watch on Netflix

★ Kate's secret ★

a beautiful woman married to a successful lawyer and the perfect suburban mother who turns out to be a closeted bulimic.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zpchtd3xw4q

★ the best little girl in the world ★

a young girl develops an eating disorder, alternately starving herself or throwing up food. her parents, angry and desperate, send her to a hospital. unfortunately, she befriends a patient who convinces her to hide her illness.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oy7gj99pt_a

★ thirteen ★

an innocent seventh grader undergoes an abrupt personality change when she begins hanging out with a wild classmate

➜ Watch on Disney Plus

★ to the bone ★

ellen is an unruly 20-year-old anorexic girl who spent the better part of her teenage years being shepherded through various recovery programmes, only to find herself several pounds lighter every time.

➜ Watch on Netflix

TV SHOWS

★ Skins ★

 lives of a group of teenagers in Bristol, England, are followed through two years of sixth form, with the story line of this critically acclaimed series delving into such controversial subjects as substance abuse, sexuality, teenage pregnancy, personality and eating disorders, and mental illness

➜ Watch on Stan

★ Red band society ★

 a group of teenagers live together as patients at a hospital's pediatric ward and learn how to deal with their illnesses, the experiences that they have, and the people that they meet.

➜ Watch on Disney Plus

★ Insatiable ★

For years Patty was overweight, which caused her to be bullied, ignored and underestimated by the people around her. But she is now thin and seeking revenge against those who ever made her feel bad about herself through fat-shaming.

➜ Watch on Netflix

DOCUMENTRYS

★ Thin ★

this documentary follows four women receiving eating disorder treatment at the renfrew center in coconut creek, florida. while each woman has their own “final straw” that brought them to renfrew, they all suffer from eating disorders that profoundly affect their lives to the point of near-death, in some cases.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gsqwhmesizq

★ Dana the 8-year-old anorexic ★

Little Dana became a walking skeleton after suffering from anorexia - at EIGHT. She told her distraught parents she would rather DIE than eat. And she even hid in a laundry basket at meal times to avoid having food.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKSwPBUhCBo&list=PLfjwnsEd5VNYTtPpke17nY2AHRNNpcWIK&index=3

[writingwenches]

about me: call me Ed or Eddie~ In my 30s, I work too much to afford to live. Currently live in my own perfect apartment, it’s too expensive, but I’m surviving! I recently moved from an extremely conservative area of the USA Gulf Coast to one of the most liberal states in beautiful mountains with perfect weather. Life’s a struggle, but it’s fun with good buddies! Hit me up anytime, anywhere~

words of fiction

Freedom From (Peasant OC; rags to riches plot) + family tree (fic spoilers) + mothers side Aemma Velaryon (Rhaenyra's nightmare daughter/worst enemy) Aegon and the Targtower Family Roadtrip (family bonding) Helaena and Her Gays (Helaena's queer in my AU)

links

Westeros Zodiac • AU Canon Character Lore • Face Claims to Use • Ask Games • Other's OCs • Fic Recs • Role Playing Guide

disclaimer — feel free to use any of my characters as silly lil pawns or side characters or target practice in your own stories. If anything here gives you muse, use it! Message/Tag me, I’m excited to see where it takes you~

original character tags

Aemma Velaryon

Rhaenyra's eldest daughter. She is angry, and sad, and everything in between. Currently a ward of Queen Alicent. [aesthetic inspiration – Hozier singing "Take Me to Church" at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show]

Lynora Lannister

Grew up as a lowborn peasant, in the backwoods of the Riverlands. She is living in a horror story. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. She generally has no idea what is going on in this game of thrones. She can not yet read, she grew up thinking the Freys at The Twins were Lord Paramount of the Riverlands. The targtowers/courtly ladies have convinced her that Lord Larys Strong is the father of Rhaenyra’s bastards rip

Cinda Lannister

Younger Sister to Lord Jason Lannister, Lady of Coin for the Red Keep, First Lady of Honor to Queen Alicent. Childhood crush of Aemond Targaryen. Her age is described as "almost too old to bare children." Aemond has proposed to her on numerous occasions through his youth (and beyond) and she has refused him every time. (Lady of Coin makes sure the cooks/servants have the coin they need to perform their job, a “lower” job, fit only for a women, because it requires speaking to servants lol)

Pyter Royce

The Lord of Runestone, inherited after the mysterious death of his aunt Rhea Royce. He has no proof, but he knows the Targaryen scum was to blame, and he plans to take his revenge on whichever Targaryen he comes across first.

Rahul Qorgyle

Former heir to Sandstone, but after being kicked in the head by a horse, he developed a mental disability.

Beal Marlow

A theater troop actor from Essos, angered the wrong Prince of Astapor and had found himself hiding from the Good Masters in Westeros. He has become a legendary playwright in King's Landing, stealing his ideas from diaries of Old Valyrian's before the Doom. Looks suspiciously like Rahul Qorgyle.

Maeria Estermont

The feisty daughter from the second richest house in the Stormlands. Her parents are known for being embarrasing and harassed Maeria a place in the Red Keep as one of Princess Helaena's Lady in Waiting. Maeria thinks the princess is batty, and has a hard time holding her tongue where insults are concerned.

Oletta Redvyne

the heir to The Arbor, a dragon pit is currently being constructed on the island, mentally engaged to Aegon Targaryen since the age of three, has shaped her entire personality around him, there is no option other than Aegon. There is a small chance she is poising him. (Face inspo: Havana Rose Liu)

Ivyanne Tyrell 🏳️‍🌈

engaged to Aemond Targaryen on numerous occasions against her will, trapped in the Red Keep, living in a horror story. Aemond Targaryen’s number one hater, a sword lesbian. The only child to Lord and Lady Tyrell, there is a rumor she was caldron made. She would rather die than marry a man, and her parents seem to think removing a few fingers could make her see reason. They were wrong. If she is to die, she will die free. On again, off again with Helaena. What started as a way to annoy her nemesis, Aemond, Ivy sometimes finds herself dreaming of the princess. Ivy believes that Lyn MUST marry Aemond, if she has any hope to be free of him. (Face inspo: masc Kirsten Stewart in a dress)

Cordelia Lannister

Younger niece of Lady Cinda Lannister, by way of an elder brother. Both Cordelia's parents passed when she was younger, as has been living as a ward of Cinda, in the Red Keep, most of her life. She is supposed to be a friend to Princess Aemma, but she finds the princess extremely tiring. She has never had to make a decision for herself, and doesn't know if she will ever be able to. She doesn't want the life planned out for her…but what other choice does she have? Her age is described as "almost too young to bare children."

Tatsu of Nossos 🏳️‍⚧️

A Nobleperson from Nososs, a place ruled by dragon lords long ago, but they all died out. Legendary fighter, “dancing master” to Lady Ivyanne. Living as a trans woman in King’s Landing. Maesters are fascinated by Nososs, but most refuse to speak with her for close-minded reasons. Wants to go home more than anything else in the world, but knows she’ll never be able to (unless…)

Emelda Florent

Niece to Queen Alicent, through the Queen's Mother, Lady Floret. Emelda is the only daughter to the current Lord Floret. No one seems to get her name correct, choosing the simplified “Emma” instead. She longs to join the Faith of the Seven, but her father is requiring her to marry to improve their station even higher. Why can't having one queen in the family be enough?

Ima Shett

Thinking is hard, and it is nice when other people do it for you, just like how Lady Ima does her reading, by having someone else do it for her. Illiterate by choice, for the grace of the gods. Life would be so much simpler if Ima could marry her brother, the future Lord of House Shett, Ser Qyle Shett. She is reminded that this is a disgusting thought every time she brings it up, even though the Princess Aemma "gets" to marry one of her uncles. It's just not fair.

Joy Waters

An unremarkable girl, born in a brothel to a whore in King's Landing named Joy, how original. Everything changed for Joy the day a young Prince Aegon Targaryen found himself in her company. He had brought a long a costume for her to wear, and she obliged, and he left, not bothering to take back the scrapes of fabric. But, this was no ordinary fabric, this was the uniform of a maid of the Red Keep, a prestigious position, not held but just any daughter of a whore.

Ryver Erenford 🏳️‍⚧️

The Bolton's got most of their inspiration from the horrible tales of Red Ryver. Born into the body of a woman, Ryver longs to be the best knight and man the Realm has ever seen, even if he has to murder everyone along the way.

Oswalt Frey

The ally, best friend and follower of Ryver. Os once spit his pants in front of a filled crowd of a tourney. His manhood was legendary, and its the current courtly gossip about the Freys. Os is pretty embarrassed by the whole situation.

original lore

Nososs

geography based on Japan, on the other side of the known world, pre-Dawn society, former dragon lords, noble pilgrims

House Stone

Inspired by Mongolian culture, the Newest House of the Seven Kingdoms, sworn as loyal vessels to House Stark, and named a noble house by King Viserys I Targaryen after their economic rise from the sale of ice.

Vaestal Virgins

Old Valyrian Goddess of Luck, Dragonfire, Virgins and Dragondreams // Inspired by the Vestal Virgins of Ancient city of Rome

Tropicos

Coming Soon...

[robotstrategy]

Recalled • Part 5 • 35 - Ground School

Previous • Series Masterlist • Part 5 Masterlist • Next

In order to complete flight academy there are minimum training requirements of 65 hours of flight training and 80 hours of ground school. There’s also a minimum of 200 hours total time, which includes not less than 100 hours pilot-in-command hours of which 20 hours must be cross-country time. Cross-country time is defined as time acquired during a flight that is conducted in an appropriate aircraft; that includes a point of landing that is at least a straight-line distance of more than 50 nautical miles from the original point of departure; which must involve the use of dead reckoning. For right now, the first years are focused on ground schooling. It’s much like Driver's ED, but for aircraft, the accident videos get worse and the controls are even harder to figure out. 

Roland has been paired with a guy named Trevor, Trevor looks like the type of guy Roland’s roommate was accusing Roland of being. Roland wishes he could point to Trevor every time his roommate tried picking at him if he’ll even pick at him anymore. Today Roland decided he’d wear his sleeveless sweater and now his roommate is convinced he’s yin. His roommate says he’s happy because it takes Roland and another guy out of the mix, ‘Gross.’ Roland thinks, is that all that guy thinks about, girls? That would humour him if it also didn’t make him sad, this guy is ruining his life because he can’t see that he’s the problem, and not other people. Maybe another reason it disappoints him is that his roommate reminds him of his past self, not in the way about only caring if girls like him, just in overall crappiness.  

There’s a way in which Trevor holds himself, if ever Roland makes a mistake he’s always there to correct it before the teacher comes around. The teacher isn’t scary either, he acts like someone there to teach you how to do things properly so you don’t mess up and die. So he’s doing his job. Roland doesn’t make many mistakes, after all, it wasn't the back of his brain that was taken, the memory-holding part, unlike that Recall in the Psych Ward. During the little breaks they get Roland’s mind often wanders to things like this, he wonders if that kid ever made it out of the Ward, or if he’s still stuck there, unable to properly experience the world. Back to Trevor then, he seems nice, he seems to care when others pick at him and sometimes Roland. He reminds Roland a little of Hayden, with all of his little quips, but surprisingly he reminds him more of Connor, well, what Roland can still make of Connor. Hayden has told him that if he looks hard enough he could find clips of Risa and Connor, but he doesn’t want to. Hearing Connor’s name already put him on edge, and he wouldn’t dare look for Risa, imagining his gaze on a video of her makes his stomach turn. Trevor, like Connor, seems to be more of a team player, snapping every once in a while. Roland thinks it’s cool, it’s more than he could ever accomplish, even jokingly insulting someone would make him feel guilty. If it’s his sister though, it’s fair game, because she probably insulted him first.

There’s a guy named Roland in Trevor’s class, and he’s been paired with him. Roland seems to be knowledgeable on the basics, but once the work gets more complicated he and Trevor are on the same playing field. In the way that Trevor retains more of what’s being said, Roland seems to be able to handle the gory videos more that they’re sometimes shown. But why wouldn’t he be able to? He’s a Recall. Trevor doesn’t know what really goes on during an unwinding, but it must be awful. Trevor doesn’t watch the screen when the fake accidents happen, he just looks around the room at all the wide eyes, but Roland doesn’t flinch, he’s unmoving, maybe even uninterested. Roland’s body tells a story, he has this beautiful shark tattoo done in a Polynesian style on his right arm, it was paired with waves on his right leg, is what Roland had told him. He’s got graft lines going across his mouth, eyes, and forehead, along with three scars on his left cheek. Whatever got him clipped him on an angle, because there seemed to be a small, a medium, and a large scar. There were lines going down his left arm where he most likely would have been grafted. Trevor wondered why there was no hint of stitching, like on his face, Roland told him it was because he was nothing but a torso and an open head when he was properly Recalled. He was remade using one of the bigger Biobuilder models, there was no need for his new parts to be separated into smaller bits before all of him was connected together. Roland points to a girl in the back of the class, telling him that the girl had the biggest percentage of his parts. The girl looks up and smiles, waving at him, her partner is sheepish, they jump at everything, Trevor doesn’t think that classmate will last long. There’s something about the girl's face that makes him uncomfortable, once learning that she’s a Rewind from Roland, Trevor curses himself. He doesn’t want to dislike her for being a Rewind, maybe Cam Comprix scared him, but Cam was made at a time when he wasn’t needed. His existence was merely to be the perfect human being, while people were dying by not getting the right parts in time. Seeing the girl in a new light, he looks back at her again, but he can’t get over how the left side of her face makes him feel.

[willowpenguinwritting]

@sapphicgodesss gave me this prompt a write something with so let's write.

READ WITH AWARENESS OF MENTIONS OF ED,DRUG OVERDOSE AND SELF HARM!!!!

I took a deep breath and walked into the ward again. I was referred to this ward after my little sister found me after a drug overdose. The drug in question was to try and make me throw up after quite a large binge eat. The ward I was told would help with everything and anything so I can only hope they have actually succeeded at the one thing I want.

Technically I wanted two things when I entered, freedom and a friend. A friend who understands me when I don't understand myself.

I had kind of failed however. I had felt freer than ever. But the friend part hadn't succeeded as well. I had a friend but now I have a girlfriend. My girlfriend is incredible. I met Lola here and now we were going to leave together.

Lola had been admitted for anorexia and was doing much better, better than me half of the time even when she felt she didn't deserve to eat.

As we are both eighteen and haven't relapsed and are doing well we are allowed to go home. Neither of us plan to go home. We have the plan to purchase a flat in London and decorate it to be ours and maybe some cats to.

Well that was all the plan until my mum called as she wanted me home first but I managed to convince her out of it.

The plan was set and all was going well. I thought it was at least. Until Lola admitted to me one day that she didn't think we would be able to manage. Or more that she wouldn't be able to manage.

This tore my heart slightly but it was taped back together for a bit after I convinced her slightly as I became less convinced.

If one of us was to relapse the other probably would to and then we could get spereated.

It is now the morning of March the 23rd when we are going to face the world together.

Disclaimer I don't think we are ready for the world but here we go. I felt Lola grip my hand as we exited through the doors together. We walked to the train station with all our luggage and hopped on a train directly to the flat we had already managed to purchase.

We had money and we were free.

I don't have time to finish this but I will at some point I promise.

[riverstardis]

series 32 episode 24:

oh no lots of clinical lead ethan related stuff in the previously. oh there's connie saying he wasn't the first choice but they were short on candidates, but iirc connie didn't know ethan was in charge until she turned up at the ed? also again, elle is right there! though it wouldn't surprise me if connie didn't want elle to be cl again bc she's threatened by her, but that only explains it if connie was the one who decided but i'm pretty sure she wasn't. maybe she just spoke to whoever did decide after finding out it was ethan? (edit: went back to have a look and my memory wasn't exactly incorrect, just incomplete. connie does ask ethan who's in charge as if she doesn't know it's him but then when he tells her she's like "so they finally told you" and then goes on to say the bit that's shown in the previously there, so i guess it WAS her decision, which does somewhat explain it) aw there's also ethan saying he's doing his best and alicia saying it's not good enough :(

oop alicia's writing another blog post :/ and the radio is talking about it and talking about how it's been revealed that the hospital the blog is about is holby and showing someone googling 'holby city attacks' and it coming up with an article about the killer's father working in the hospital with a photo of henrik and then more people on the radio saying they'll never go to that hospital😭

wait is that a picture of cal?!?!? yeah wtf?? ethan's scrolling through an article that's talking about cal😥😥😥 i paused it to read and it's talking about how the anonymous blogger made a mistake by talking about the lack of security in the hospital and about how staff are put at risk both inside and outside the hospital, which led them to be able to figure out that it was holby they're talking about and it goes on to say "dr caleb knight was fatally stabbed at the entrance to the hospital ED and a shooting on one of their main wards left staff seriously wounded. holby is the only hospital in the uk that has suffered such events"💀💀💀 you're telling me that people in holby have never realised before how dangerous it is to go to holby city hospital?? surely they must hear about it in the news way more often than they do st james'😭

awww ethan :(

JAC! oh :'(

lmaoo ethan's nervously preparing for the meeting and jac goes "virgin." and he's like "sorry?" "heads of department meet. your first?" so where are the other heads of department then? because there only appears to be the two of them there? jac asks if he has a response to rage in resus and he tells her his idea for the clinical decisions unit but that the nurses won't like it and she laughs at him and then says that being clinical lead means not always being popular

i wonder how jac would feel about ethan winning her eponymous award

ah gem's just got out of prison and is starting as a porter

as predicted jacob is NOT happy to hear about the cdu and he tells duffy and they go yell at ethan together😭

jac😭😭😭 she's so mean i love her. ah she says it's ethan's responsibility to find out who the blogger is :/

aww ethan's sitting with his head down on the desk😭😭 he looks so sad :(((

"i heard." "right. professional wasn't it? i wonder if that'll make the blog, clinical lead shouts at a room full of old ladies." "it doesn't" "has there been a new entry?!" alicia 100% just finished writing that new post and immediately went to check on ethan afterwards😭 girl stop stabbing him in the back and give him a hug!!

the new post is all about the cdu and ethan's like "that was my initiative. that is a direct criticism." and alicia tries to convince him that it isn't "it doesn't mention you, it's talking about the department" "yeah, that i'm running!"😭 alicia ily but can you seriously not see how criticising the cdu, even though you wrote about it as if it just popped up on its own, very much IS a direct criticism???

"i know you senior medics think the world revolves around you but maybe there's a bigger picture?" exCUSE ME???? "it's only my bit they're writing about!" "you just skimmed it, i read it. look, i think it's about staff trying their hardest-" "and failing." "we all have bad days, ethan." "bad days, bad weeks, bad months."😥😥😥 he hasn't even been acting clinical lead for a month yet at this point so he's not just talking about that. this is what i mean about how they should've followed this up by properly addressing his mental health!!!! plus he literally sounds like he's about to have a panic attack rn :( i actually read a fic about that a while ago lemme go find it: here

i do believe that alicia never intended to attack ethan personally, she does have a history of not thinking things through and then being surprised when she hurts people (like when she decided not to break up with cal for example), but what gets me is she can SEE how it's affecting him but carries on doing it while encouraging him to his face???? like i get that she's trying to bring attention to the state of the nhs but pretty much everyone who's read the posts has said they come across more like they're criticising the hospital/the department rather than the government or whatever, so even if that's not how she meant them to come across, it isn't just ethan who's interpreting them that way

bea hitting her patient in the cdu's chest to restart her heart!

aww alicia trying to comfort ethan after they lost a patient who had been in cdu like "there's nothing more we could've done, and i will fight anyone who says different!"🥺🥺 but he just wonders if duffy was right and then wonders what the blog's going to say, he asks her who she thinks is behind it and she says she has no idea, she at least has the decency to look a little bit guilty😭

the care home manager saying to ethan "i don't mind working hard, but sometimes it feels like they want us to fail" mhmm indeed

gem's moving out of iain's. or she's planning to anyway.

alicia's trying to console ethan again and tells him that elle's invited everyone to the pub but he's like "drink, yeah, but company, no, sorry" :(((

ethan goes "shall we see what rage in resus has to say about this?" but alicia grabs his hand to stop him getting his phone out to look, so now they're holding hands🥺🥺 "look, what about just me and you then? garlic crust and a bad film?" "you haven't changed. i'd really like that, yeah" and now they're kissing YEAHHSKFJSKDFG MY BABIESSSS💞💞💞💞💞💞

[fishybehavior]

Oooo the Underground AU sounds so interesting tell us more (if you want ^^)

Yes yes yes yes!!

So the basis if the au is that the humans lost the Serpentine war. And they are all exiled underground as the Serpentine go to live on the surface.

There are three major cities underground. The smallest is the one closest to the surface, the biggest city is beneath that. And there's one more city as deep as they can be. Where there is little to no light besides a few crevices in the ceiling that sunlight peaks through.

In the deepest city is where the children of the elemental masters live. None of them have powers and they are all kept in the deepest city as far away as possible fr9m the surface. Everyone assumes that the elemental master are dead and there is resentment towards these children, they're the scape goats of the city.

Cole was born a few months before the exile and never knew his mom as he was raised by his dad. Zane in a similar boat. He was the adopted son of the ice master but for only a few years before the exile. He's the oldest.

Now Ray, Maya, and Libber were able to slip away with the other people during the exile and stay in hiding for a few years. Jat was born about 5 years after the exile the same with Nya. And Kai was born about a year after ward.

But the Serpentine found Libber a few years after she had Jay and unfortunately he was orphaned (ed and edna step in though to raise him)

And Myaa and Ray where found out a few years later. Now when Libber was found she didn't go away quietly, making a big ruckus and identifying her to who she was. But Ray and Maya went peacefully, knowing they wouldn't win. They hid their powers in a pair of amulets to keep their powers away from the Serpentine and then when the gaurds came for them they went with them, leaving Kai and Nya with trusted friends to raise them. Kai was about 7 and Nya 3.

Kai knows about the powers but Nya does not and he never tells her. Kai grows up and runs a small bakery, cole works in the farms, Jay and Zane gather glow worms and special herbs and plants, and Nya helps with making tools and invents machines to help make life easier for the people.

Ok so everything is not set in stone. I want Nya to not know about powers but idk if the explanation I have is the best. But I want her to find the amulets and then she can try to convince the others to try and fight back.

Also some Serpentines have been able to harness elemental powers form the master such as constricti generals harnessing earth powers, and hypnobri channeling ice, and stuff like that.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Bonus Scene Two (Gwynriel)

Masterlist

a/n: this picks up right after nesta leaves gwyn’s apartment in Part 24. warning for discussions of sex, obviously.

***

As soon as the apartment door shuts after Nesta, Gwyn releases a breath and turns to Azriel with a wide gaze. “Do I really have to teach you guitar?” she says.

“Of course not.” He rolls his eyes. It was a throwaway line meant to get Nesta off his back, and even she didn’t entirely believe it. He moves toward the kitchen to get a glass of water, still shaken from Nesta storming into Gwyn’s bedroom like that. Not that she interrupted much. Gwyn still has a long way to go before she can handle anyone touching her between her legs, Azriel thinks.

He never asked Gwyn what a twenty-seven year old woman was so afraid of sex for when she first suggested her proposal to him. She looked so scared that he would question her that he couldn’t bring himself to poke even a little bit. Not that he needs to poke. He’s not a fucking idiot, and Gwyn’s thighs had been trembling in involuntary fear under his hands earlier. She’s been hurt.

For her sake, he pretends to remain ignorant and incurious, but right now his grip on the glass in his hand is so tight it might shatter. His face remains cool as he pours himself water.

“Why didn’t you tell her the truth?” Gwyn hops up onto the kitchen counter and swings her freakishly long legs. “About what you get out of our deal?”

“I don’t expect you to teach me sex for free, obviously,” Gwyn blabbered the day after they got back from the ski lodge. “You can ask for something from me, too. Even money, if that’s your thing.”

Prostitution was not Azriel’s thing, though he wouldn’t knock it. The truth was that his brain had started turning as soon as Gwyn told him about her idea, and now it couldn’t stop. Oddly enough, this opportunity was perfect.

“Tell Nesta that I’m using you as a rebound?” Azriel nearly snorts on his water. “Did you miss the part where she almost cut my dick off and choked me with it?”

Gwyn hums noncommittally. “Being a distraction from your ex is better for me than it is for you. It’s insurance that you won’t get any funny ideas.” She narrows her teal eyes at him. “If you find yourself moving on from Nesta’s hot sister, you better tell me right away. I’ll end this whole thing quickly and cleanly.”

“Why?” He thought moving on from Elain was the goal, one he was unlikely to achieve.

“You know.” She crosses her arms in an X over her chest like she’s warding him off. “You might catch—feelings for me.”

This time Azriel really does snort on his water, hard. His laughter turns into coughing when it slips down the wrong pipe, and liquid dribbles onto his shirt. Gwyn just sits there and stares at him in vague disgust.

When he’s done choking, he wipes his mouth with the hem of his tee and gasps, “Even without Elain, you wouldn’t need to worry about that. Trust me.”

Gwyn wrinkles her freckled nose in distaste. “I would be offended if I wasn’t so relieved.”

He’s still chuckling when Gwyn says cautiously, “By the way…” She chews on the inside of her cheek. “Did you really ghost Elain?”

Azriel is no longer amused.

“When you said you broke up with her, I thought you actually broke up with her,” Gwyn continues. “I didn’t know you were one of those guys.”

Shame tinged with embarrassment floods Azriel, and he doesn’t have the slightest idea why. Why does it matter what Gwyn of all people thinks of him, especially when she doesn’t have all the details?

He thought he was making things easier for Elain by leaving without a word. He thought she would let him slip out of her mind after a couple of weeks just like he slipped out of her life, and that it would be better than having to hear him dump his insecurities on her.

He knows now that he was only making things easier for himself. Knows that if he had stayed and talked things out with Elain, she would have convinced him to stay. If he had called her at all in the past two months, he would have gone running back to Velaris like a sailor answering a siren’s song.

She’s always been a siren—which is why he can’t regret doing what would have happened eventually anyway. Even without that Vanserra bastard or some other man, Elain could never have been a permanent fixture in Azriel’s life. Little details sprinkled throughout their time together confirm that for him now.

That doesn’t mean Elain deserved it, or deserves it now. Azriel knows that.

But all he can think of to say to Gwyn is, “Yeah, maybe I am one of those guys.” He puts his glass in the sink. “You still want me as your teacher?”

Gwyn shrugs, looking away. “It’s not like I’ve got any other choice.”

Azriel would disagree. He says what he’s been thinking since they got back from Cassian’s birthday trip. “Wouldn’t you rather do this with someone you love and trust?”

“God no,” Gwyn snorts, providing no further explanation.

Azriel can understand being hesitant to admit sexual inexperience to a crush, but it doesn’t stop him from judging Gwyn’s new man. If this coworker of hers is so great, wouldn’t she be able to trust him unabashedly with her insecurities? Wouldn’t he readily accept her for all that she is?

Ugh, he’s been dipping into Nesta’s reading collection too much lately. “Alright, then.” He leans against the counter opposite Gwyn. “Let’s talk about learning. You clammed up in bed back there after ignoring my suggestions and shoving my head between your legs.”

“I clammed up because of my best friend barging into my room and catching us together,” Gwyn defends.

“Your pussy was dry as bread before that,” he retorts. Ooh, now he wants toast.

Gwyn turns a furious shade of red while Azriel starts looking around for bread. He finds it sitting by the toaster. “Can you not say that?” she hisses at him.

“What?” He looks up from dropping bread into the toaster.

“You know…” She glances around cautiously as if someone might overhear. “Pussy.”

“Pussy,” he says again, just to be annoying. Gwyn’s shoulders turn inward in embarrassment, and he has to hold back a grin. Yeah, she’s definitely not ready for oral.

He finds a butter knife and some peanut butter. “I told you to start easy and you ignored me. You tried jumping into the deep end without learning how to tread water.”

Gwyn scoffs. “And what does ‘treading water’ entail again?”

Azriel shrugs, plucking up his finished toast. “Making out, heavy petting, freshman-year-of-high-school kind of stuff.”

“I’ve done that before,” she mutters indignantly. “Maybe not in my freshman year, but I’ve done it.”

He wonders how long ago that was, or if it was before she was—hurt.

“Besides,” Gwyn goes on before he can push the matter further, “I’m not budging on kissing. I want to save that for the man I actually like.”

“You don’t like me?” Azriel raises a brow, slathering peanut butter over his toast. “You definitely don’t act the same with me as you do with other men.” Or at least that’s what he assumes. Up until a short while ago, he never would’ve been able to imagine timid Gwyn having the guts to ask anyone for sex ed. That’s got to make him special, right?

But then Gwyn waves him off and says, “That’s ‘cause you’re not a real man. I knew you before puberty.”

Azriel nearly drops his toast. “Wow, the nerve of this woman,” he mutters with wide eyes. If she keeps this up, he’s going to start regretting ever going to the same school as her. “That’s not what you said when you were going on about how attracted you are to me.”

“I said you were attractive, not that I was attracted.” Gwyn’s blush is more from irritation than shyness now. “You do the job, but you’re no Max.” She giggles at saying his name. Actually giggles. “I’ll only kiss Max.”

“What kind of stupid ass name is Max?” Azriel grumbles through a mouthful of peanut butter.

“It’s short for Maximillian.”

He chokes. “Jesus, that’s even worse.” He’s doing all this work for some guy named Maximillian. Maybe he should just go home and let Nesta give him the beating he deserves.

Except thinking about Nesta only reminds Azriel of what a coward he is, because he fears facing her again almost as much as he fears facing Elain. “By the way, could I…” he starts hesitantly.

Gwyn gives him a judgmental sneer. “You don’t want to go back to the cabin, do you?”

He shakes his head.

“You can’t stay here,” she responds, crushing his hopes. “I have plans tonight, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t let you be such a wimp.” She hops off the counter and comes over to him, surprising him by grabbing both of his shoulders. “Azriel,” she says somberly.

He swallows his toast roughly.

“You have to grow some balls,” she continues. “Not just for your sake, but for the sake of every poor woman in your life. Also, all this drama is personally a turn-off for me, which is detrimental to my sex education.” She wrinkles her nose. “Do better and all that, you know?”

Damn, okay.

Instead of standing there like an idiot, Azriel manages to say, “Fine, I’ll go.” He shoves the rest of his toast into his mouth and dusts off his hands, heading for the living room.

“Wait, you don’t have to leave right now—” Gwyn follows after him. Azriel is already on the couch, pulling a stray notepad and pen on the coffee table closer to himself.

He clicks the pen. “When’s that library guy planning to take you out?” he asks, starting to write.

Gwyn hovers near him, watching the notepad over his shoulder in confusion. “Um, this Saturday. Just a casual coffee shop thing.”

“Then I’ll see you on Friday.” He scribbles down some bullet points and labels the page LESSON PLAN. “Until then, think about a way to enjoy foreplay without kissing. Here are some suggestions so you can practice.” He tears the lined paper out of the notepad and hands it to Gwyn.

Her eyes skim over the page, brows rising with each point she reads. “Is all this really necessary?”

Azriel remembers how he barely brushed his lips against Gwyn’s core before having to pull away and kiss her quivering thigh instead. He can’t have sex with an unaroused woman, and he definitely can’t do it with a terrified woman. “Foreplay is absolutely necessary,” he says, getting up from the couch and stretching to his full height. Where Elain used to only reach his chest, Gwyn’s head almost reaches his nose. It amuses him for some reason.

“Do you like movies?” he adds. “I’ll take you to the movies on Friday.” Preferably something boring and played out, so the theater will be empty and she won’t be paying attention.

Gwyn’s eyes widen. “Is going on dates also part of foreplay?”

“It can be,” Azriel shrugs. It will be when he does it. He drops a hand onto Gwyn’s head and ruffles her hair. “I’d love to stay and help you study, but I have to go and grow some balls.” He mock-frowns at her as he heads for his shoes and keys. “See you later, Gwyneth.”

***

a/n: wait why do i wanna write the movie theater scene now… pls help me im just trying to finish this damn fic im getting too old for this

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook a favor: @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea @teagoddess99

[crockettmarcel]

id love to hear more ab your sarah having a baby as a teen hc !!

I'm obsessed with this one because it's all based on things she's said/done and my own deranged mind, and there's nothing in canon that can actually disprove it, so as far as I'm concerned it's true 🤷‍♀️

anyway. I think that when Sarah was a teenager, around 15 (I have a reason for this specific age), she accidentally got pregnant, then hid it from her mom for as long as possible. when her mom found out, she wasn't mad, per se (as in she didn't yell at Sarah or kick her out) but she was adamant that her teenage daughter was not raising a baby. she didn't offer Sarah a choice, just straight up told her not to worry and that she'd find a couple who wanted a baby, but she did her best to convince her it was the right decision

all that stuff Sarah said to Noah in 2x20 (Generation Gap) about not wanting to have a baby? those were things her mom had said to her so that she'd go along with the adoption, and that she's internalised after 10 years

the quote "The real reason I don't wanna have kids is... it's too hard. I- How is anyone supposed to do it all?" comes from her mom telling her that having a baby is really difficult (which obviously it is), but then going on about how she struggled so much when Sarah was a baby, and that was with a husband. none of this is in a "Raising a baby is difficult, are you sure that you're ready to do something like this? Have you at least considered adoption?" way, but more like "I don't have any faith that you'll be able to do this, looking after the dog is already hard enough for you, adoption is best because you wouldn't be a good mom (and I won't be embarrassed that my teenage daughter had a baby)."

and then when Sarah said that she has no maternal instinct or connection to babies? we've all seen her with babies/children and that's just not true. sure, she was slightly awkward when she gave Rachel the stuffed bear in 1x01, but she was awkward with everyone then (she would only have been a few weeks/months into her ED rotation at that point, and we all know she wasn't a "dealing with patients" type doctor when she first started). and with that said, she still cried when she performed CPR on Rachel and broke her ribs. she missed her graduation because she'd stayed with a sick baby, she cried in the bathroom after telling that boy's parents he had a terminal illness, and she obviously cared a lot about both the girl from the psych ward (2x16) and Danny (yes, he was 19, but that's barely an adult)

the point about her being 15 when she got pregnant comes from part of a conversation she had with Dr Charles in 2x01

"You know who the most unhappy people in the world are? 15-year-old girls."

"I remember."

obviously there could be a million reasons why she was unhappy at 15, but thinking about it in the context of this hc, it would make sense that that's how old she was when this happened. I'd be pretty unhappy if my mom was forcing me to put my baby up for adoption

anyway so the timeline is that she got pregnant at 15, and the baby was born around the time of her 16th birthday (just before or just after). she got a few pictures and a video of the baby and she got to hold and wash her before she left hospital, and then that was that. Sarah’s birthday is sometime between May-July, so she'd have been able to spend her summer break just recovering from the birth and trying to put it all behind her. then her mom had her start at a new school for her junior year, where no one knew what had happened and she could just keep her head down and work hard

so that's what she did! she worked hard and got good grades, and then in her senior year, she had to look after a baby for her health class. she told Noah (again in 2x20) that she hacked her doll because she was overwhelmed, and honestly? that fits so well with this. she's overwhelmed, not just from trying to balance her workload + the baby project, but also from the emotions of it all. she hacks the doll because she wants to get a good grade, but also because if she doesn't do well, her mom will say that she told her so, that this is proof that she couldn't have handled having a baby and it's a good thing she agreed to the adoption

Sarah then graduates and goes off to college, and just completely internalises everything her mom told her. she has no maternal instinct, being a mom is too hard, she wouldn't be good at it, her baby's better off with its new family. when she tells Noah she has no intention of having a baby, that's partly true. she can't get past everything that happened, and the thought of going through it all again is too much. but at the same time, she's spent all these years feeling like there's a part of her missing. her baby was taken from her, and the pain of it is still so raw. she doesn't know if she would ever want to have another baby, but the more she thinks about it, the more she feels like maybe it could help

[nardragon]

Here's a completely self-indulgent scene for what I hope happens in 3x12

Read on AO3

"Hey, Dr. Goodwin, does this mean I get hazard pay for being in the trenches with Bloom all day?" Casey asked as Reynolds adjusted the medicine cocktail they determined would nullify the chemical effects in his IV.

One bed over Max laughed, "Just as soon as I find place in the budget for that hazard pay."

"Casey, I'll pay you out of my own pocket after today." Lauren said, her bed on Max's other side before looking at Helen who was checking the IV hooked up to Lauren, "Are you sure Candelario was informed about Mrs.-"

"Yes, Lauren, for the third time she's been fully briefed on all the patients from the ED." Helen said, half exasperated, half amused.

"They warded some of them just down the hall, I could-"

"No," Helen and Floyd said at the same time.

"Right now you are my patient which means you don't check on your patients," Helen said as she moved to check on Max's set-up.

Iggy walked into the room, "Good news. I just talked with the biohazard team. By tomorrow the ED should be fully cleaned and cleared for use again."

"Oh, and I was kind of hoping for a day off," Lauren said.

Everyone else in the room stared at her for a few seconds, long enough for Lauren to look at each of their faces and read the disbelief there.

Lauren frowned, "What?"

"Should we page Dr. Kao?" Reynolds asked, "Could the chemicals be making her delusional?"

"No one else presented with delusions or erratic behaviour," Helen said.

"I don't need a neurologist because I was hoping for a personal day."

"A normal person might not, but you..." Casey said.

Lauren glared at him a few seconds, "You can forget about hazard pay."

"I'll get Kao," Iggy said.

A voice rang out through the ward, "Lauren!" And a slim figure slipped past Iggy and into the room.

Casey sat up to see over Max, "Isn't that-"

"Hey," Lauren's voice softened, "What are you doing here?"

She reached her hand out, Leyla taking it.

"On the radio, the news,” She was a little out of breath, “I heard about the chemical spill. They said the ED was shut down and I knew you were here and," Leyla's eyes quickly took in the set-up around Lauren, the IV, the monitor hooked up to her. "What happened? What are they treating you with?"

Lauren started giving a rundown of what happened and the medications they were using to treat it. Leyla interjected with some questions, why they'd use one medication over another, what symptoms Lauren presented with. The others in the room watched in shocked silence. Partly because Lauren made no attempt to water down any of the terminologies, mostly because here was Lauren Bloom, the Head of New Amsterdam's Emergency Department holding this woman's hand, her fingers moving in slow circles on the inside of her wrist.

"Hey, hey," Lauren said finally when Leyla started asking redundant questions out of a sense of worry. She gently pulled on Leyla's hand, "Stop looking at my readouts. Look at me."

Leyla's eyes shifted from flitting over the machines to Lauren.

"I'm okay."

Biting her lip, Leyla didn’t look convinced, "Are you sure?" She rested her palm against Lauren’s cheek.

Leaning into the touch, Lauren nodded, "I'm okay."

Leyla turned to the others in the room and after a quick scan, she stopped on Helen, "Is she? Okay?"

It took a beat for Helen to snap herself out of the surprise, "Yes. She will be. Everyone's been responding to the medication.”

“Bloom was exposed the most,” Reynolds added, “So we want to keep her overnight for observation, but she's responding well so far."

"Exposed the most?" Leyla looked at Lauren again.

Lauren gave a shy shrug.

"The pipe blew right over her head and even after we realized it was a chemical spill she refused to stop treating the patients in the ED," Casey said.

"Lauren,"

"I wasn't going to let another doctor expose themselves when we didn't know what the chemicals were."

A soft sigh, "You reckless noble fool." Leyla leaned down and kissed her and kissed her and kissed her.

"Oh," Helen said simply.

The others room reacted like a wave had hit them at once. Max's head cooked to the side and Reynolds blinked, sharing a look with Iggy.

"You just had to get hospitalized when it's your night for the dishes," Leyla said in the space between their lips, drawing a soft laugh from Lauren.

"Mariana owes me thirty bucks. I knew there was something happening," Casey said, snapping his fingers.

"You knew about this?" Reynolds asked.

"Not this," he gestured to the kissing couple, "Specifically, but that's the closet crasher Bloom was smuggling in here."

"Ah," Iggy, Helen and Max said together.

“That makes sense,” Iggy said.

"Closet crasher?" Reynolds asked.

"Dude, where have you been?" Casey looked perplexed, "You've been working in the ED."

"Yeah, even we heard about it up in psych."

“Hey, the spill impaired my vision, not my hearing,” Lauren said, shooting a dry look to the others. But the usual effect of her chilled expression was diminished by the fact she’d only shifted her attention to them for a moment, her face held in Leyla’s hands the entire time.

“So, are you going to introduce us?” Iggy asked.

“No,” Lauren answered instantly.

“Lauren,” Leyla admonished softly.

Lauren exhaled before going down the list of everyone’s name. “And, everyone, this is Leyla, my…” She hesitated, looking at Leyla, “girlfriend?” Her voice pitched up, landing somewhere between a statement and question.

Leyla’s eyes were so soft as she said, “I’d hope that’s what we are at this point.”

Casey did a small fist pump, “And that’s another twenty from Brunstetter.”

“Looks like you got your hazard pay Casey,” Lauren said, voice dripping with sardonic ire, “Good thing too because I’m going to kill you for making bets about me. Just as soon as I’m not hooked up to an IV anymore.”

“Sharpe there isn’t any chance you make my drip go faster than hers? Just so I can a headstart.”

"I would if I thought a headstart would do you any good," Helen said, chuckling.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Leyla asked Lauren.

“You should go home,” Lauren urged, “You’re just going to watch me get drip-fed meds all night.”

“Please.”

Lauren sighed, fighting a losing battle against a smile, “Max, is it okay? I know it’s well after visiting hours.”

“Yeah,” Max said, his smile warm, “We make exceptions for family all the time.”

“Okay, in that case, dinner is on me. Only the very finest of from the hospital cafeteria,” Reynolds said.

“Oh, yes, I saw they had Cesar on special today,” Iggy said, join him.

“Hey! Reynolds get me the mac and cheese!” Casey called after them, “And with the hash brown side. None of that green shit Max forced on us.”

“Hey,” Max clutched his chest.

“No offence,”

“Offence taken.”

Helen laughed, looking away from Max, catching Lauren’s eyes. The look she gave said they’d be having a conversation about this later before saying, “Boys wait on me,” and following Iggy and Floyd.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Medical Director getting chemical exposer from trying to find the source himself,” Leyla said, looking to Max.

“Ah,” Max gave a self-conscious laugh.

Lauren laughed, “That’s New Amsterdam.”

[iamnightduchess]

Reiner & Mikasa: A Retrospective Pt.2

“The Shield of Marley & The Blade of Paradis”

Why ReiKasa is a (BR)OTP ship that’s worth more than a fleeting glance

[*caution: a continuation of a long reflective post with the sole intention to share a fan’s perspective through available representation through manga, anime, exhibition & etc. This post is not to convince nor argue where is its place in canon, but only to explore the vast possibilities of these two amazing characters that I love. In the end, if the series ends with Mikasa alive & ending by herself or with X character, then it means Isayama believes that X character is the one she’ll find that eventual happiness with and I’m all for that. Same goes with Reiner :)] Special thanks to @berumika​ for sharing some of the additional points that are included in this post. Years down the line after SnK ended, I’d love to have a post I can revisit of these two amazing characters & the possibilities that could have been from time to time. I’m having absolute fun in observing how much both of these characters have grown since the series debuted in 2010.

Pt. 1 available here. Warning: Image heavy, potential spoilers.

When I first got to know SnK/AoT, it was through the anime first before manga. Bad idea for me. My initial perspectives of Mikasa & Reiner were skewed and that was later rectified as I navigated the original source directly. Eren is the first protagonist that was introduced by the series creator but I was drawn to Mikasa & Reiner when I started the manga after Season 1 ended. 

Trainees

These top two trainees of the 104th batch are closely matched to each other in ranking. We don’t see them interact directly in the anime, but in the early panels of the manga, Reiner could be seen sitting down with Eren, Mikasa & Armin during mealtimes.

Sure, Mikasa can be expected to not converse with Reiner directly, but if her two childhood friends have their good friend sitting together for meals, at the very least we can expect them to have some brownie points in socialization.

Apart from being total gorgeous hotties, they’re both physically strong people, with Reiner always being second to Mikasa in terms of brute strength. Total muscle pairing and I could see them being at par with each other during physical drills. Reiner & Mikasa could go all out, even beyond 100% and the other would be physically capable to take/receive the force. Shadis would’ve tasked them to lead the physical trainings from time to time. They have been sparring partners, evident from the moment Mikasa threw Reiner across the field into Eren who’s sparring with Annie. Their fitness regime would be in-sync with each other. I could see them having mad respect for each other and secretly admire the other person’s prowess and skill. 

Connection through Eren

As highlighted primarily in Pt.1, Eren has been shown to look up or aspire to be high achievers like Reiner and Mikasa both. He wanted to be as strong as the two of them. The odds of the very same people he look up to, as the two individuals who would be able to stop him, I would suspect as very high at this point.

When they were younger, Reiner has always been the one that’s pulled Eren up when he’s down, nearly giving up & at the lowest points of his life. He was also the one who convinced Eren to ‘keep on moving forward’, which we’ll learn later was one of the most ironic moments that Reiner recalled as he feels responsible for everything that begun, which also pushed his guilt inside him to his near-suicide attempt.

Survey Corps

Reveal on Wall Rose

Mikasa, was one of the few junior SC members who were called in for the secret meeting with the unit’s top brass the night before the reveal. She was made aware of Reiner & Bertolt’s possible identity as the enemy after she assisted with apprehending Annie in Wall Sina. While Reiner was talking to Eren, Mikasa could be seen being highly agitated, hands shaking as she waited with unease breath for Reiner & Bertolt to make their move.

She was later seen questioning her hesitance on delivering the killing blow or at least enough to incapacitate them. Mikasa called Reiner & Bertolt “the plague of humanity” in anger and absolute disappointment. They were still her friends that she knew for three years & it had been difficult for her to kill them.

Thunder Spears Training

Mikasa could be seen reflecting in a combination of unease, sadness & regret as she recalled back the moment she was unable to break Reiner’s armor with her blades.

Return to Shinganshina

Mikasa was the one who crippled the Armored’s legs. She wasn’t as emotional as Connie, Jean & Sasha but there was a deep, painful rumination on her part the moment they assumed that Reiner was dead dead. She was also the one who noticed the sudden move from Reiner’s Armored Titan. In the anime, she could be seen angry & frustrated at Reiner’s refusal to confess that she pulled too hard on the bandage in her hands while she was helping Jean with his injuries.

Time-Skip (Current)

Reiner’s reminiscence & nightmares

Reiner’s reminiscence of Mikasa was indirect, but he highlighted her (and Armin’s) fierce, unwavering loyalty towards Eren. He had recurring nightmares of her & Levi that are the symptoms of his PTSD. The anime specifically used her shot to highlight the last image of her that he saw: anger.

Assault in Liberio

You could see the existing disappointment on her face when Reiner’s partially transformed Titan appeared, having to cross paths again in such a way after four years. She could’ve intervened the way she did with Galliard’s Jaw but she didn’t. Eren said Reiner’s out of any energy left to retaliate and Mikasa didn’t disagree. At this point, Mikasa is already affected by Eren’s actions in murdering the women & children inside the building that he shifted in and the destruction they all left behind.

Connection through Gabi

Reiner’s young cousin reminded Armin & Mikasa of a young Eren. The difference is that, Gabi had an early opportunity to be saved through the compassion showed by Mikasa and Sasha’s beloved family. The very same people who had every right to be sad, grieving and taking out their anger on the child who gunned down their beloved friend & daughter.

Mikasa doesn’t verbally express her emotions but it can be shown through her body language & facial expressions. I love seeing the tender way she pressed Gabi’s head onto her shoulder as protection and a symbolism of safety. It was a bit sad that this ‘bond’ was short-lived but what an amazing connection it would’ve been if Mikasa & Gabi had been given more space to develop their bond in canon.

Concern for Reiner & Annie

Usually when Mikasa verbally expresses something, it is usually important/significant to her. In ch.124, she could be seen asking Gabi about Reiner’s location. Why? It’s because she is concerned for Reiner’s safety. If his Armors were undone, he was vulnerable and with pure Titans and the Colossal Titans walking around, he would be in danger.

“We need to help Reiner & Annie.” She was heavily concerned with Reiner and Annie’s lives at the docks. But this moment is more important for Connie as a callback to the moment when Annie & Reiner both had saved Connie when they were trainees.

Adjacent Manga/Official Art Paneling(s)

In the current final arc of the manga, (several panels have been highlighted in Pt.1) it’s quite interesting to note that Mikasa & Reiner’s characters/panelings have been drawn adjacent to each other. I could also see the way Armin, Reiner & Mikasa (ARM) are getting primary focus by Isayama in this final arc.

Others (Misc./Semi-canon)

Cool-faced Cookie (Attack on Titan Game)

When Reiner suggested the player to do a melee practice with two other sparring partners, he immediately spotted Mikasa & Historia. It’s very interesting to note that Reiner’s nickname for Mikasa is “Cool-faced cookie” as he hinted the player to ask Mikasa for an impromptu practice.

The blink and miss furtive glance(s)

In Lost Girls OVA’s ED by WIT, a screenshot of the primary 104th walking together could be seen. Mikasa could be seen sneaking a glance at Reiner.

In a scene during the fresh SC recruits discussing intensely about Eren’s role as humanity’s hope, Reiner could be seen glancing silently with concern for Mikasa, as Jean questions her vouch of confidence in Eren’s abilities.

In Snk OVA#3, Mikasa is grouped with Reiner for the excursion and they could be seen having good teamwork together. When Mikasa’s ‘sixth senses’ are triggered due to Eren being in danger, Reiner could be seen looking at her direction immediately as if sensing her distress. 

Characteristics & Zodiac Signs

Amazing/Compassionate with children

Known as the Shield of Marley, Reiner’s a caring keeper, a natural leader and a provider who’s naturally amazing with children. Everyone looks up to him. Would’ve made a good family man if the circumstances were different. Based on his characteristics & physical attribute, he reminds me of Mikasa’s father below, no matter how short-lived he was. I could see her admiring that side of him even if it wasn’t mentioned directly. They are both loving, selfless, protective towards their child/ward.

Mikasa, true to her name, an Ackerman, a genetically-enhanced super soldier/warrior of Paradis that wields their blades with the highest efficiency. Though she might not seem as natural with children, did come from a healthy & loving upbringing with her parents for nine years. Her real persona as a child pre-awakening is a curious, thoughtful and actually a warm-hearted girl. Post-awakening characteristics could also be contributed from the traumas imposed by the murder of her parents, the fall of Wall Maria, the death of Carla & having to shoulder the immediate responsibility as Eren’s new ‘guardian’/caregiver/problem-solver/mess-cleaner.

She shown her compassion towards Gabi, which in turn had proved to the little girl how there are good-hearted, forgiving people in the Island. Mikasa could be observed as being heavily concerned with Falco as she questioned Jean about the young  boy. One could see the anger on her face when she saw Connie took off and abducted Falco to be fed to his mom. She drew the line in harming children even if they’re trained enemy soldiers.

Aquarius & Leo’s Compatibility

Reiner’s a Leo and Mikasa’s an Aquarius. Their characteristics are too coincidental to their respective astrological signs to be disregarded completely.

He’s an extrovert (Ref: younger!Reiner. Older Reiner too but his PTSD’s and maturity have taken over his more outgoing personality) that compliments her introvert personality yet they both have their inner demons to deal with and could somehow understand that about each other. He’s a ray of sunshine that could enlighten her melancholic personality. Yet their dominant personalities, although might be clashing at first, eventually would lead them to respect the other’s perspective. This would ring true when they were younger. Currently they have grown older, wiser and more understanding of the other.

At the current Final Arc, this has been highlighted in Part 1, recent chapters have shown older Reiner and Mikasa’s unspoken respect and understanding for each other. The current Reiner’s natural leadership as a born Leo is very apparent. Reiner was being very mindful of her feelings as Eren is a very sensitive subject & Mikasa took in Reiner’s words with serious consideration. 

It would be great to see more of their combined synergy as Reiner & Mikasa’s teamwork could be seen once again in ch.135. Aquarius & Leo would take turns to take a back seat while letting the other leads.

They are actually very physically and sensually compatible with each other & could potentially be an unstoppable force if they were to fight for the same side. At the moment, I’m hoping to see this potentially deadly combination once again in ch.136 onwards. They could’ve overtaken Eren’s Founding Form is it wasn’t for OG!Ymir’s one-sided overkill powers. To the real God who created the parasite worm, please take powers away frpm this uncontrollable grandma in a little girl’s body.

More of Mikasa’s Aquarius & Reiner’s Leo Compatibility Meter with description below:

Since this is SnK and not Berserk/Tokyo Ghoul/insert other josei manga titles, no one’s having sex directly haha In an ideal world, Reiner & Mikasa’s physical attractions for each other will almost be off the charts. “When they find true emotion, Aquarius might actually end up respecting the king”. In current arc, this can be observed. She respects Reiner & his words.

The above describes both Mikasa and Reiner respectively. Mikasa does not reach for heroism directly but it can be seen indirectly from the way she had inspired a child Louise through her bravery, protecting Gabi and rescuing/protecting the Azumabito Service crew from the Jeagerists. Reiner has always been born to be a hero, regardless of the circumstances of his conception or birth.

“If they end up fighting for the same cause, they could turn down entire governments and use their incredible force to change anything in the world.”

Even oppressive, destructive supernatural, God-like powers? Ymir & Eren, better be prepared. 

 “To get there, these two would have to stop the battle they have with each other.” Check and Check.

“Leo -- has the ability to give clarity to any situation.” Ch.133. That was not Reiner projecting. He’s always been Eren’s counterpart. He’s telling the readers that there’s a part of Eren out there that still wants to be stopped since he has surrender his will to Ymir. She took his words into serious consideration and in Paths, voices out to Eren on his sins and burden.

“Leo is exactly what Aquarius needs to find love. -- to liberate and shine as if they have been searching for one another for many lifetimes.” In an ideal world or in my gazillion AUs: Reiner and Mikasa could be soulmates.

This could ring true for the younger Reiner & Mikasa.

Reiner and Mikasa both are indeed strong, selfless individuals in each other’s eyes. This can be observed in Ch.133 & 135. Reiner feared her but respect her strength & feelings when it relates to Eren nevertheless. Even Reiner was taken aback by Pieck’s ultimatum in blowing the Founder’s neck, although Armin had suggested the same thing the night before.

“Just like the Sun and the lightning don’t go together, Aquarius should take over on a rainy day, in a depressive crowd or in places where they both feel as if they would drown. This is where Leo needs to give in and let their partner rule the sky--”  It wasn’t a rainy day or depressive crowd in ch. 135, it was a chaotic shitstorm and they were all not drowning but dying. Period. Our dear Mikasa took charge like a BAMF Queen that she is. She was putting her life on the line to protect the four injured men behind them. She aimed to buy them more time if she could as everyone expected it to be the end. As highlighted in Pt.1, you could see the helplessness on Reiner’s face when he saw Mikasa’s breaking point.

Reference : http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/compatibility/aquarius-leo/

Final Exhibition

The Final Exhibition highlights the Last Stand: the direct final confrontation between The Founding/Attack against The Armored, with Mikasa being in the middle of the confrontation, tipping the scales of the outcome. Before, she assisted Eren against Reiner. Currently, she is working with Reiner to stop Eren.

Trio(s) Parallel

An interesting panel from ch.97:

EMA & RBA have always been lauded as the main trio of their respective sides. We have seen Armin taking over Bertolt’s powers & is potentially promised a future with the girl that Bertolt had feelings for. Recognize the probable pattern?

Guy from trio 1 ate Guy from trio 2′s Titan & is promised a potential future with the girl he cares for/have feelings for/close with from the trio.

Only one between between Eren & Reiner will remain. What if the story begins with Eren but will end with Reiner all along?

SnK HighSchool AU / Breakfast Club X-over

In the movie, the Jock (Quarterback!Reiner) ends up with the Rebel (Goth!Mikasa). He looks past her eccentricity & see her for who she is. This is a fun crossover by Isayama but very interesting to see Armin, Mikasa & Reiner work together to save Eren in the fake previews.

Whether the combined strength and perseverance of the Blade of Paradis & the Shield of Marley be enough to save the world from total annihilation? It remains to be seen very, very soon.

No matter how the series ends, whether both Reiner and Mikasa survive or not, I’ll be looking back in pride upon seeing their journey, growth & dynamics as either individual or together in this beautiful series by Hajime Isayama’s brilliant mind. Because of him, these two characters inspired his readers, myself included, to be brave and fight for what they truly believe in: humanity & its continuation. It has been an incredible ride and I will continue to enjoy writing for this OTP/BROTP, that I’ve fell so deeply in love with and their vast possibilities.

[rainbowchristy]

Let the Human In (Chapter Twelve - Unique)

Summary: It’s just a regular workday for Phil. Doing rounds with his patients, helping out with the occasional emergency department case. The only difference? He has one new patient in the ED. One found unconscious on the street. One who starts throwing up from seemingly nothing. One, with a very dark backstory and no hope for the future.

Or, Dan is being sex trafficked and Phil’s a psych resident who just wants to help, even if everyone around him is telling him he’s too invested.

A/N: This fic is heavily inspired by the character Danny Jones from Chicago Med but you don’t need to know anything about the show to read this!

TW: References to abuse, mentions of anxiety/panic attacks, references to eating disorders, references to schizophrenia & clinical descriptions of suicide attempts.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 1 | Last Chapter

-

Phil finishes his lunch and empties his tray. He decides it’s best for him to update Dr Forest on his patients before returning to Will. He knocks on her door and hears a faint, “come in.”

Pushing open the door, he sees the scattered papers on her left and the pile of folders on her right. The top file’s open and she glances at it before typing on her computer some more. Phil waits patiently for her to finish what she’s working on.

“Phil,” she says happily once she finishes typing and looks at him. “How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Ah, good good. Chugging along. What can I help you with?”

“Just thought I’d do my daily check-in.”

She gestures for him to go on. He takes a seat in one of the armchairs across from her.

“Okay, so, Liz is doing really well. She ate all her breakfast, didn’t purge and didn’t feel guilty for not purging. She said she felt really good about it and acknowledged the improvement from when she came in.”

“That’s amazing progress. You must be very proud.”

“Of her, yeah. She’s made huge progress in such a short amount of time. She’s obviously still got a long way to go but if she keeps going, I reckon I’ll be recommending her discharge within a few weeks.”

Dr Forrest nods. “I’d be inclined to agree with that, after my own assessment, of course.”

“Of course,” Phil agrees before moving on. “Luke’s gotten used to his medication, though.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He didn’t want to trust me at all.”

“So what did you do?”

“I decided to change his medication since that one wasn’t working anymore and it was already at its highest dose. I gave him two milligrams of risperidone and he’ll have another two tonight with dinner.”

She nods. “How’d he go taking the medication?”

“He didn’t want to, like, at all. I’m not really sure how I convinced him,” Phil admits honestly. He rubs the back of his neck and then rubs his thumb over the knuckles of his other hand.

“You have a way of calming people, Phil. It’s an important skill for us to have and you seem to have a naturally calming nature. I noticed it even when I first met you.”

Phil folds in on himself a little, unsure what to make of that. What on Earth did ‘naturally calming nature’ mean? He knew what each word meant and what they meant in that order, but how could she pick up on something like that? What did he do that was ‘naturally calming’?

It’s silent for a short while before Phil clears his throat, sitting himself back up straight. “There was a kid brought into the ED for a suicide attempt today so I tried to speak to him. He wasn’t the friendliest, though, so I didn’t get anything out of him. His parents filled me in on what they knew.”

After he fills Ruby in on Will’s situation, not that there is much to tell, he turns his focus to his last patient.

“I think Dan had a panic attack in the general ward so he had to be transferred back to the ICU. He went into RA but we aren’t sure why. He was also tied down.”

“What?” she says, interrupting him.

“Yeah!” Phil confirms, equally exasperated, “by security, too.”

Dr Forrest tuts and shakes her head. “It’s as if no one has read the hospital policy for psychiatric patients. I’ll talk to them about it again but it probably won’t make any difference.”

Phil nods before moving on. “I haven’t spoken to him much, just updating him on his clinical situation. He shut down on me though, no idea why, so I left and went for lunch.”

“What do you think you’ll do?”

“I’m going to try talking to Will again after this but I think I might just sit and tell him about myself,” he says, ending it in a question. “It helped him open up when he was first brought in and after he woke up from the coma, at least a little bit anyway.”

“Sounds like having the attention off of him is what he needs.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”

Dr Forrest pauses for a moment. “Hang on, how come you’re talking to him and not one of the other doctors?”

Phil blinks before remembering – yet again – that he’s not Dan’s doctor anymore.

“Oh, right.” She raises her eyebrows. “When Dan woke up, I was called. I guess no one told the ICU that I’m not Dan’s primary anymore. But I kinda just did my job while I was there. I figured he’s not living with me yet anyway so it’s not really a big problem if I help out until things can get sorted. I guess I just forgot to tell anyone, what with everything going on.”

Ruby looks at him and Phil gets the feeling she doesn’t believe him. “Philip–” she starts and yep, she definitely doesn’t believe him, “it’s important Dan gets used to his new primary before being discharged.”

Phil nods, looking down as if he’s a child getting in trouble for eating the last cookie.

“Now, who do you think would work well as Dan’s new primary?”

Phil thinks. He’s got plenty of great colleagues but he can’t stop his immediate thought – none of them would do as well as he does with Dan. He feels bad for thinking that. They’ve all been working in psychiatry for longer than him; he knows logically they’re more qualified. But Dan, he trusts Phil, and Phil knows how important trust is in this line of business.

“Um, Cassie, maybe?” She’s a nice, young woman who finished her residency the year before Phil joined. Phil has the feeling that Dan will do better with someone younger as opposed to some of the older psychiatrists at UCH.

Ruby nods, seemingly happy with his choice. “Page her and see if she can take another patient.”

“Will do,” Phil answers.

He’s about to stand up to leave when Dr Forrest continues. “And how are you doing? I know you saw Michael yesterday. How did that go?”

Phil chooses to ignore how she knows he saw Michael yesterday. And wow, was that really just yesterday? It feels like a millennium ago. Though Phil supposes every day has felt twice as long since Dan first came into the emergency department.

“Good. I bought some games to play in my off-time.”

She smiles. “That’s good. It’s important to have things to do to de-stress, especially in jobs like our’s.”

“What do you do to de-stress?”

“Well, I’ve found art to be a good stress relief for me. I paint whatever’s on my mind to get it out into the real world. It’s easier to understand, that way.”

Phil nods. “I’ve never been much of an artist but I know lots of studies that show the benefits of art therapy.”

Ruby laughs and Phil tilts his head slightly, confused. “I remember when I was a resident, everything came back to what was and wasn’t empirically supported. It’s important, yes. But if something has no evidence one way or the other and seems to work for an individual, it’s worth pursuing. People are unique, no study can capture that.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true,” Phil says, thinking. He’s always been logical. Sure, he can have fun and be playful, but anything important always comes back to the facts. He never thought work would be any different. And it’s not like he’s got a textbook in front of him to treat his patients, but he is always referring back to what he knows as fact (or, at least, as close to fact as science can get).

It’s quiet for a bit while Phil thinks and by the time he reminds himself he’s in the middle of a conversation, Dr Forrest has already returned to her work. He decides to exit quietly but he does smile at her as he closes the door.

~~~~

Phil heads to the treatment room Will was assigned to.

“Hello,” Phil greets, closing the door behind him. Robin smiles at him in greeting but doesn’t say anything. Linda’s holding a crumpled tissue to her nose but manages to give him a watery smile. “How are you feeling?” he asks, turning his attention to his patient.

He’s on his side, facing Phil this time, but Phil guesses that’s only because the boy’s parents are on his other side. He shrugs, refusing to look at him. Phil follows his eyes and watches the drip drip drip of the IV.

Phil turns to his parents. “Would you mind if Will and I had some time alone?”

Robin shakes his head for the both of them and leads his wife from the room. Phil adjusts the curtain once the glass sliding door is closed.

“I’m Dr Lester,” Phil says, remembering he had yet to introduce himself to Will. “What’s your name?”

Will rolls his eyes. “Cut the crap. You know everything; there’s nothing for me to tell you.”

Phil smiles sadly. “Well, everything might be a bit of an exaggeration. I don’t know a lot of things. What I’m most interested in learning right now, though, is why you’re here.”

“You know why,” Will huffs. “If you're going to be annoying and ask questions, at least ask things you don’t know the answer to.”

Phil takes a seat now that he knows Will is actually up for talking. “Okay, sorry. Um, I know you were brought in because your dad found you in a,” he pauses to choose his words carefully, “in an unfortunate position. Would you like to tell me how you ended up there?”

After a sigh, Will looks at Phil for the first time. Phil watches as he scans him up and down, clearly sizing him up. “I wanted it to stop,” he says, apparently deciding Phil is safe enough.

“Wanted what to stop?” Phil prods.

“Everything.” Will rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. “The bullying, the arguing, everything.”

“Well let’s tackle one thing at a time. What do you mean ‘the bullying’?”

“At school. There’s a group of guys a few years above me.”

“And what do they do?”

“The usual. You know, teasing, calling me names,” he trails off his list.

Phil nods in understanding. “Have they ever hurt you physically?”

Will nods. “Just a couple of times. When I fought back; learnt not to do that pretty quick.” He laughs curtly.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” He pauses, allowing Will time to say more if he wanted to. “Now, you mentioned arguing. What’s that about?”

“My parents. They think I don’t know but they’re always arguing. And it’s always about me.”

Phil instantly wonders if that’s hyperbolic, but it’s not his place to say. He’s supposed to listen to what Will’s perspective is. If that ends up not being the whole truth, then he helps Will realise that on his own. “And what do they say?”

“They just argue about what to do with me. Dad wants to send me off to some random military school but Mum wants me to stay home. I don’t know, I guess I just got sick of causing problems. It’s not like anyone would miss me anyway.”

Phil nods, jotting down a few random notes. He’d be more thorough in his proper write up after this chat. Besides, having someone take notes in the middle of a conversation can be pretty jarring, not to mention anxiety-provoking. “Do you think your parents would have saved you if they wouldn’t have missed you?”

Will shrugs, obviously not up for seriously entertaining the question. “I just make their life difficult. And I don’t want to, but I can’t help it.”

“What can’t you help, Will?”

His eyes widen and he looks at Phil. There’s a pause while he thinks.

“Look, I’m not going to do it again. Can you discharge me now?”

Phil gives a tight-lipped smile. “It doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid.”

Will sits up, anger written all over his face. “Why the hell not?” he shouts. “I said I won’t try again!”

“Because I need to properly assess you to evaluate your risk. Unfortunately, we can’t just take your word for it.”

“So you’re calling me a fucking liar? Some shrink you are.”

Phil blinks, unsure where this sudden change has come from. “I’m not calling you anything. I’m just trying to understand what’s happened to have you end up here. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“I don’t need your fucking help. Go get my parents. They’ll tell you to discharge me.”

Knowing he isn’t going to get any further while Will was in this mood, he nods. “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

“I wouldn’t fucking bother. I won’t be here much longer.”

Phil nods, not sure what to say. He decides just to leave and he waves to Will’s parents, signalling they could go back in. He’d have to talk to them again in a bit, see if he can’t get some more information out of them.

Will’s picture is still cloudy. There are so many gaps that just aren’t making sense. Though Phil supposes this is exactly why a part of him loves the job. He loves the job for lots of reasons, of course, but being able to piece together someone’s life to help them recover is a great feeling. Like putting in the final piece of a one-million piece puzzle.

~~~~

Phil checks in with Dan again but there’s little change. Whatever happened earlier is still playing on his mind because he won’t even look at Phil.

Still, he sits and talks with him. Well, more at him, since it’s a very one-sided conversation. Phil just tells him more stories about his life, most of them from his admittedly strange childhood. After a half-hour with no sign of life from Dan – other than the beeping of his heart monitor and the rise and fall of his chest – Phil resigns himself.

He has to remind himself that it’s only been a few days since Dan’s whole life got flipped on his head. Phil has to stop his train of thought and check, but it really has only been three days since Dan was brought in. Phil tells himself to give Dan more time. He’ll check in again tomorrow.

He ends up wandering around the psychiatric ward and the emergency department, making himself useful wherever he’s needed. While he’s on break to eat dinner, he gets a message from Kyle.

7:14 pm - From Kyle: I finish at 8. Bar tonight?

Phil smiles, glad Kyle’s messaged him. It means they’re okay. Maybe not good, but okay. But it’s a Sunday night and Phil honestly just wants his bed. He’s typing out an apology message when he stops. Michael’s words are ringing in his ear.

Remember to spend time with the people you care about.

Even if things are awkward between them, Phil does still care about Kyle and he knows Kyle cares about him.

He closes his eyes, sighs, deletes the message and sends an affirmative one instead. He’s finishing at the same time so it works out well. Most of the time one of them has to hang around for at least a couple of hours. Sometimes it’ll be too long and they decide to just meet at Marcus’, or forgo it entirely. Though the latter is reserved for nights after too-long shifts when they wouldn’t be any fun anyway. Marcus’ is a sort of staple in their life at this point and Phil’s glad their talk isn’t getting in the way of that.

After doing a final check-in with Liz and Luke – and having to convince him to take his medication again – he clocks out for the night.

“Hey!” he calls when he sees Kyle leaning against one of the pillars outside the hospital entrance.

He turns and smiles sheepishly. “Hey. Ready to go?”

Phil nods and they set off. It doesn’t take long to hail a cab. They walk most of the time since it’s not too far, but Kyle’s feet are “about to fall the fuck off” so they climb into the car instead.

The cabbie is familiar with Marcus’ bar and happily takes them there. He asks them about their day and Phil manages to make chitchat. Kyle, on the other hand, is silent and leaning against the door, looking as if he’s hoping the lock will break and he’ll tumble out of the car. Phil wonders why Kyle even asked him to go to Marcus’ when it’s clear he’s so uncomfortable in Phil’s presence. He decides not to question it and try to just enjoy the night.

They pull out outside Marcus’ after a few minutes and Phil hands the cabbie a £10 note, telling him to keep the change.

Kyle seems to light up once they enter the front door and Phil’s not sure where the sudden change comes from.

He grins at Phil and rushes over to the bar, hopping onto one of the stools with a bounce. “Marcus!” he says loudly over the music. Phil laughs as he follows him – it’s as if Kyle’s already drunk just from the atmosphere.

“The usual, lads?”

Kyle nods. “Times two!”

Phil takes his own seat as Marcus starts making their drinks. They both thank him when they’re served and Kyle takes a big gulp while Phil stirs his.

They sit in silence and enjoy their drinks for a bit. Though for Kyle, it seems more like a competition Phil never agreed to.

“No going slow tonight?” he asks with a laugh as Kyle empties his second glass. Phil’s is still on his first and it’s only half empty.

Kyle just blinks at him slowly. Phil watches his cheeks heat up and as Marcus comes back to hand Kyle his third drink, he puts his hand up. “No thanks, sorry.”

Marcus just nods and puts it down. “What’s up?” Phil asks, giving him the opportunity to discuss what’s on his mind without making it sound like he’s going to therapise him.

Kyle swivels his stool so it’s facing the bar instead of half facing Phil. He shrugs and leans over the bar to grab the drink. He takes a sip and puts it back down.

Everything’s off tonight. Phil can’t pinpoint why but it just is. The music doesn’t calm him in its usual way and the alcohol certainly doesn’t give him a pleasant buzz.

As he watches Kyle, who's watching the dance floor, he can’t help but wonder if Kyle’s cutting himself off to avoid a repeat of the other night. And if he is, Phil can’t blame him – he doesn’t want a repeat either.

-

Next Chapter

[workingonit-currently]

DOG

session starts a little late, maybe. And simply text tonight.

still waiting at the gate

Times does not spell well if Courage and Aleris are the only two available for this session...

Griss is still trying to kill himself

Apparently his house is about to go up in flames

Griss needs help putting out the flames and Aleris thinks Imogen sleep cast the fire. (again)

Courage tells Aleris they can use this as cover to enter the city without the guards

Aleris just calls the guards over to help

Aleris tries to end it with druidcraft

Griss and the guard run in to save his house and Aleris doesn't want them to die.

Griss' house is fire-proof but the recipes are not and all gone now.

Courage is suprised he doesn't just throw shit in a bowl with how weird his food tastes.

Aleris offers to give him some of her cookbooks but Griss takes that as an insult.

We hear horses and Aleris becomes enamored.

You see the other goliath guard from earlier, who you sent to grab Danald Gray Old, along with another man. He's wearing bright bronzed armor, has long, gray hair, and is short and well-built.

"Travellers! Present yourselves! I have brought our boss, Mr. Old!"

Aleris says she needs to get into the city quick

The old man knows ALERIS!!!?

Aleris asks him what he is

DGO is offended, apparently

He looks like he's going in for a hug so Courage steps away, she does not like.

Aleris still questions him. (and now my capslock is backwards so the light is on when I'm typing in lower case....0-0)

He's an founder or something and my computer has reverted to normal, wahay

He looks to be a short human or a tall dwarf

Aleris asking the real question of 'is he going to let us past?'

He's actually pretty chill and allows us in, allows us horses and stuff to.

He introduces himself to Courage and she is prickly

He says she could stand to learn manners as well and Aleris wants him to turn into a dog.

We give him the glare as we both get on the warhorse to ride into the city

Aleris says 'The horses told me they don't like went people sat on them'

Courage is connected to this horse so...

Aleris now refers to DGO as dog man and Courage shakes her head at his apparent treatment of horses.

He smiles at you, his smile more like a toothy grin full of barely hidden anger, before he swings up onto his horse. "Well then? If you're ready, I will show you the way. And watch your words. I am the founder of this city, you would do well to remember that."

Ohhhh Aleris is dunking on this dude. (like I thought, with just Aleris and Courage they get angry.)

He speeds off and Courage takes it as a challenge

Noooom!

Roll and a 7 so not so noom

Aleris feeds him apple and it's a 23 noom! He is speedy noom boy!

Stephen, after being bribed with an apple, achieves all his dreams and almost flies across the gray waste of the ground like he has wings on his feet. DGO's horse isn't far behind, but Stephen neatly outraces him to the gates of the city

DGO is annoyed and comes storming behind us as we pat and give apples to Stephen, our good boy.

He's angry we've disrespected him but Courage is acting all innocent.

lying me teeth off Where I'm from it's the mayor honor to make the guest race, and if he get beaten it's means he choose his guest well. But probably, don't have such tradition here. Since the city is still very young. - ALERIS IS A LEGEND! I love her! Well done Rian.

He glares at you, working his jaw, before his mouth stretches painfully into an anger-filled horrifying imitation of a smile. "Of course. My....apologies. You two truly are great guests. Clearly, I have chosen well." He grabs the harness on his horse, pulling it to a guard who takes it, startled, and he storms into the city. - We might have gone and messed up

People are parting for the mayor and Aleris is blowing Courage's attempts at being not seen by waving at people staring

Aleris tries to find druids

Aleris rolls a good perception check (I think repayment for all the terrible rolls last sunday.)

He glares at you, working his jaw, before his mouth stretches painfully into an anger-filled horrifying imitation of a smile. "Of course. My....apologies. You two truly are great guests. Clearly, I have chosen well." He grabs the harness on his horse, pulling it to a guard who takes it, startled, and he storms into the city.

Aleris asks Courage what to do and Courage says to stick with the dog, he might lead them exactly where they need to go

'yes, that's the polite thing to do right?' - Aleris...you better not be thinking what I'm thinking....

You guys continue following him through the streets, all the way to a massive, bright white building in the center of the town. It looks almost like a massive, blindingly bright spike in the middle of the city, shedding light on anything around it. It is probably the brightest thing you've seen so far while down here.

Courage complements the house

Aleris says nothing because if she opens her mouth rudeness might come out

"It is my place of work, gallant knight! The Tallspire. It is the tallest and brightest thing in the city. I had it specially made out of veins of this bright, light-emitting stone we had found in some of the caves of Helmsbane cavern. This stone is said to ward off the god Helm; thus the name. Anyways, come inside, come inside." He walks to the doors and flings them open, walking inside and up a massive spiral staircase in the side of the tower.

More sucking up and Aleris being silent

You guys follow him up this massive spiral staircase for a good three or four minutes. You see thousands upon thousands of crates in nooks and recesses in the walls, all branded “oldliving oils—live until you’re old and gray”. He leads you all the way up to his office.

His office is massive, with a desk in the middle with stacks of papers on top of it. He’s got the Oldliving logo in gold leaf on top of the desk, and a few chairs around it. There are shelves upon shelves of books and papers and files.

We sit and think about how he's compensating for something

He snaps his fingers and an elaborate throne-sort-of-rolly-chair appears out of thin air, and he collapses into it with a dramatic sigh. "Now. Now that all the walking business is out of the way, I would like to talk to you for a bit, Aleris, person-to-person, just us two." He leans over the table, steepling his fingers, and looks at you expectantly, Courage.

Courage in not going anywhere for the moment though you can't remind me of noble knights when all I've been thinking about is Ed. I'm going to start thinking of ED.

She's my emotion support paladin, she doesn't leave me grab Courage arm, and hold on firmly

"Well, I'm afraid that if you wish to speak about your true family, little druid, it would be better for both of us if she were not here."

Courage asks about who she'll be with waiting

Aleris argues Courage stays

Daniel!?

"You can trust me, Aleris. I'm old, I would not even be able to hurt a fly. As for you, Courage...DANIEL!" He shouts out the door. You hear a faint "Yes, sir?" "DANIEL, COME UP HERE, WE NEED SOME COMPANY FOR A CLIENT!" "Of course sir, I'll be right up."

Courage is ready to fight this Daniel

Daniel is a cat, a tabaxi. Aleris' dog, Link can stay though. Courage is confused if she should skin the cat.

whisper back Don't I want to see where this is going. I'll sent you Link if I need anything. Ok?

Courage trusts Aleris so takes the cat's paw and walks out of the room. (did I mention she is nervous around cats.)

Oooh, DGO getting to the point and calling Courage a client

Aleris also doesn't like being called a client

"Of course. My apologies for assuming." He hums, placing a hand on the file. "We were recently visited by a group of a few travelling druids, wearing green cloaks, who were asking around for someone who went by the name 'Aleris'". He leans over the table to meet your eyes. "Now, I should say, I generally don't like druids. They infringe on some of the...projects I do, however these druids were willing to pay an amount of money to find you."

Oooh, Aleris might be getting kidnapped.

"Well...yes and no. I know where they are, but in exchange for that information, you'll have to help me for a bit." - Nope, Aleris is just being hired to help him for a bit in exchange for information, Yay!

Ohhhhhhhh, Aleris is showing the anger she has for being abandoned

Tricky DGO but Aleris is not agreeing to something she knows nothing about

"You wished to find these druids that are looking for you, no?" He grabs a bottle of some sort of amber, sweet-smelling liquid from the shelf, and snaps his fingers. Two glasses appear, and he pours some of the liquid into each one. "Stay for a while, let's chat about you for a bit."

Suspicious

Aleris tries to divert the conversation but he just wants to talk about her...weird

Aleris asks why he cares

"I do care! I care about our partnership, our friendship, druid. It's a symbiotic relationship. You help me, I help you, we become friends!" - I call horse-shit

Daniel, the cat, locks the room Aleris is in.

Courage asks why.

He shrugs. "Mr. Old told me to, ma'am. He's quite insistent on this with every client. Says it cultivates an air of 'privacy' and 'trust'." - Yeah, Aleris is totally going to trust him now. Rian states.

'You're the one that contacted me. YOU need me, not the other way around. I know I look like a naive little thing, but don't believe for a second that I need you. And if the other druids refused to help you there probably is a very good reason. And I quite would like to hear it.' - Aleris telling the truth!

You see his smile go back to that pained, angry grin. "Of...of course. They did not agree with...some of the lengths I had had to go to in order to make my essential oils, and so, when I asked for their help to make a new product, they left before I could convince them to stay. It's all in the name of business, Aleris, and I will give you a 20% share in the profits if you join me." He looks nervously at Link, who is quietly growling, looking nervously back at the door.

Aleris would like to leave

"Before you leave! Let us sit down! Introduce yourself a bit, talk about yourself. Have a drink." He slides a glass of the amber liquid over to you.

Aleris says goodbye and tries to open the door. (it's locked though.)

The door is locked, and when you look back, Danald Gray Old is holding a few bottles of essential oils. Courage, you hear the door rattle, and Daniel starts again, looking at the door, confused.

We roll initiative and we'll start off fighting next session.

[mycptsdrecovery]

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

TW

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

[scotianostra]

November 18th 1870 saw what has become known as the Surgeons' Hall Riot.

This is a follow on from last weeks post regarding Sophia Jex-Blake and her friend Edith Pechey, the first to female students to be admitted to study at The University of Edinburgh.

I'd just like to get another wee story out of the way before I get on to the main one, strictly speaking these were not the first women to study medicine, the first was called Margaret Ann Bulkley- but she has a remarkable story, the University and the medical fraternity knew Miss Bulkley as a man called James Barry. Born in Cork, Ireland Barry's entire adult life was lived as a man, Barry was named Margaret Ann Bulkley at birth and was known as female in childhood. Barry lived as a man in both public and private life, at least in part in order to be accepted as a university student and pursue a career as a surgeon, with Barry's birth sex only becoming known to the public and to military colleagues after death through autopsy.

Barry had risen to the rank of Inspector General in the British army the second highest medical office, she not only improved conditions for wounded soldiers, but also the conditions of the native inhabitants, and performed the first recorded cesarean section in Africa. Her birth sex only become known to the public and to military colleagues after death through autopsy, she lived as a man for over 6 decades. I will post a link afterwards about her/hm.

Back to Jex-Blake and Pechey.  After these two made history by being accepted their numbers were added to over the year, Isabel Thorne, Matilda Chaplin, Helen Evans, Mary Anderson, and Emily Bovell joined them, they are now known as The Edinburgh Seven.

From the time the first two women matriculated they had been facing consistent opposition. They had people shouting at them in the streets, had to arrange to attend different lectures at the extra-mural medical college and in October 1870 they were denied permission to ‘walk the wards’ of the Infirmary. This was a decision apparently made to protect them, because the sights and illnesses in the hospital made it a place that would be too much for a faint-hearted woman to bear. The Edinburgh Seven had faced opposition every step of the way but it all culminated in the Surgeons’ Hall Riot, which would later be remembered as a turning point not just for their case but for women’s education as a whole. It all started when they were making their way to Surgeons Hall for their anatomy exam.

When the women were approaching Surgeon’s Hall they were met with a crowd of several hundred people – the majority of which were onlookers – that was big enough to stop traffic for an hour. Their male peers, several of whom were drunk and holding whisky bottles, were gathered outside shouting verbal abuse at them, throwing rubbish at them and blocking their entrance. When they were eventually ushered in by janitors and sympathetic peers they were able to get to the exam hall. However the exam was once again disrupted by the students releasing the Royal College’s pet sheep at the time ‘Poor’ Mallie into the room. After the exam the women were escorted home by a group of sympathetic Irish students who were given the name the ‘Irish Brigade’. By this point they were already covered in mud but they were also hostilely met by more screaming and mud throwing as they left the building. Not only did the women have to endure the riot itself but in January 1871 Sophia Jex-Blake had to go to court to defend herself in a defamation case filed by Mr Craig – the student she identified as being the leader of the riot. A student who interestingly was Professor Robert Christison’s classroom assistant, who was a known opponent of the Edinburgh Seven and this supported the theory that some members of faculty were in support of the riot. Mr Craig won the trial, but he was only awarded one farthing of the thousand he initially requested. This resulted in the trial being considered a silent victory for the women, the kind of covert support which was still so rare at the time. The Surgeons’ Hall Riot was an appalling event but its shocking nature was exactly what made it such an instrumental point in the women’s fight for change. The riot gained a lot of media coverage, and a particularly notable article was that written in The Scotsman which urged “all…men…to come forward and express… their detestation of the proceedings which have characterised and dishonoured the opposition to ladies pursuing the study of medicine in Edinburgh.” Although the event was a mere culmination of the abuse and opposition they had been facing for over a year, it was able to showcase the magnitude of injustice these women were facing.In 2015 a plaque to commemorate the Edinburgh Seven as part of the Historic Scotland Scheme – and under the recommendation of one of our tutors, Jo Spiller – was put up outside Surgeons’ Hall on Nicholson Street. The plaque hangs where the Edinburgh Seven where once thrown with mud and prevented from entering an anatomy exam, and where now hundreds of female medical students walk on their way to their classes. Even though the women made it through their three year course the law disallowed them from graduating or becoming doctors. 

Some of you are no doubt interested in what became of The Edinburgh Seven:

Sophia Jex-Blake had a bitter struggle, which divided the faculty and ended with her suing the University unsuccessfully in the Court of Session, she moved to Berne to qualify.

In 1889, however, largely as a result of her struggles, an Act of Parliament sanctioned degrees for women. She was one of the first female doctors in the UK. A leading campaigner for medical education for women, she was later involved in founding two medical schools for women: one in London (at a time when no other medical schools were training women) and one in Edinburgh, where she also started a women's hospital.

Edith Pechey proved her academic ability by achieving the top grade in the Chemistry exam in her first year of study, the women's abilities meant nothing, In 1873 the women had to give up the struggle to graduate at Edinburgh. One of Edith's next steps was writing to the College of Physicians in Ireland to ask them to let her take exams leading to a license in midwifery. Edith worked for a time at the Birmingham and Midland Hospital for Women then she went to the University of Bern, passed her medical exams in German at the end of January 1877 and was awarded an MD with a thesis 'Upon the constitutional causes of uterine catarrh'. Just at that time the Irish college decided to licence women doctors, and Edith passed their exams in Dublin in May

.During the next six years Edith practised medicine in Leeds, involving herself in women's health education and lecturing on a number of medical topics, including nursing. Partly in reaction to the exclusion of women by the International Medical Congress she set up the Medical Women's Federation of England and in 1882 was elected president.

Edith then spent more than 20 years in India as a senior doctor at a women's hospital and was involved in a range of social causes, following which she and her husband returned to England in 1905 and she was soon involved in the suffrage movement.

Isobel Thorne won first prize in an anatomy examination and was one of the women who re-grouped at the London School of Medicine for Women. Her diplomatic temperament meant she was a more acceptable honorary secretary on the executive (although she never actually qualified in medicine) than Sophia Jex-Blake whose nomination had threatened to stir up controversy. Thorne gave up her own ambition to be a doctor in order to commit herself to helping the school run smoothly; to become more solidly established.

An exemplary Victorian Thorne's dedication to duty and service was a precursor for the more violent campaigns of the suffragettes to achieve full enfranchisement for women.

Isabel travelled through China during the Talping Rebellion.  She became convinced of the need for women to have female doctors for themselves and their children, especially women ln China and India.   When the family returned to England in 1868 she started midwifery training at the Ladies Medical College, London, later describing the teaching there as inadequate.

Matilda Chaplin gained high honours in anatomy and surgery at the extramural examinations held in 1870 and 1871 at Surgeon's Hall, before a judgment in 1872 finally prohibited women students.

She also studied medicine in London and Paris and during her studies Matilda maintained connection with Edinburgh, attending some of the classes open to her there.

In 1873 Matilda obtained a certificate in midwifery from the London Obstetrics Society, the only medical qualification then obtainable by women in England, and shortly afterwards She then travelled to Japan with her husband, where she opened a school for midwives and was an author of anthropological studies. In 1879 Matilda gained the degree of M.D. at Paris, and presented as her thesis the result of her Japanese studies. She then became a licentiate of the King and Queen's College of Physicians in Ireland, and, although the only female candidate, came out first in the examination. In 1880 she lived in London, chiefly studying diseases of the eye at the Royal Free Hospital.

Helen Evan got married and did not complete her studies but her link with Edinburgh continued and she remained friends with Sophia Jex-Blake. Helen was active in promoting the care of women by women doctors. She also took a keen interest in education being "one of the first lady members of St. Andrews School Board, a position she held for 15 years". In addition to this she was a member of the council for St Leonards School for girls (now co-ed).

in 1876 her husband Alexander died suddenly from a heart attack leaving her with three children and she was unable to return to study.

When Sophia Jex-Blake began the process of founding another medical school for women in Edinburgh, Helen, with others, formed an executive committee to find suitable premises.

In 1900 and 1901 along with Miss Du Pre, Helen was a vice president of the committee of the Edinburgh Hospital and Dispensary for Women and Children, the hospital in Whitehouse Loan and the dispensary in Torphichen Place.

Mary Anderson in 1879 she received her medical doctorate from the Faculté de médecine de Paris, where she wrote her thesis on mitral stenosis and its higher frequency in women than in men. She became a senior physician at the New Hospital for Women, Marylebone. That's about all I could find on her.

Emily Bovell moved to Paris to continue her studies, when it was no longer possible to continue at Edinburgh, and eventually qualified as a doctor in Paris in 1877. The subject of her medical thesis was "Congestive Phenomena following Epileptic and Hystero-epilectic Fits"

She and her husband (physician William Allen Sturge) set up practice together in Wimpole Street, London,  and Emily renewed her relationship with Queen's College, lecturing on physiology and hygiene, and running ambulance classes for ladies.

In recognition of her contribution to the medical profession, in 1880 Emily was nominated by the French Government for the "Officier d'Academie", an award very rarely conferred upon women.

The University of Edinburgh tried to right the wrongs of the past by awarding a posthumous MBChB on Saturday 6th July last year (2019). Seven present day women students accepted the degrees in their honour, as seen in the publicity pic. More on that here https://www.ed.ac.uk/edit-magazine/supplements/representing-the-edinburgh-seven

And you can read about James Barry/Margaret Ann Bulkley below. https://hekint.org/2020/04/03/a-surgeon-and-a-gentleman-the-life-of-james-barry/

[citadelspires]

Finally Following Through On Explaining That MP100 Lumity AU

Aight so a few days ago I promised to describe the basic layout for this Mob Psycho 100 Lumity AU I’ve been thinking about. This is that.

A marginal bit of context up front. You don’t need to have watched MP100 in order to understand any of the things I’m about to say, but I do recommend watching it anyway because it’s a wonderful show and an absolutely essential experience. Anyway, for those who haven’t watched MP100 this is all the context you need, for those who have you can just skip to the next paragraph. All y’all need to know is that MP100 features people called espers and they all have these vaguely defined "psychic powers." The actual abilities tied to these powers vary from person to person, some people just have telekinesis, some people have special moves and abilities they've trained, there are people with fire, people who are really fast, a dude who's psychically reinforced a plastic sword to be infinitely sharp and durable, just, loads of stuff. All espers have the ability to see spirits, which are, ya know, the spirits of people who have died, though the level at which their humanity is still intact varies. As a general rule the more powerful you were in life (particularly in the psychic capacity) the more powerful your spirit is. Aight now to the actual stuff.

We’re gonna start with the Blight family cause they were the first people I really got figured out for this thing so it’s just fitting.  The Blight family has had at least one powerful esper per generation as far back as anyone can remember. They're an overwhelming presence in the esper community of the city they live in, though most people without psychic powers aren't really aware of their existence, as the Blights have always viewed themselves as above regular humans. For this reason a long time ago the Blight family gathered with a group of other powerful esper families to found a school exclusively for young espers so their children would not have to associated with "the ungifted." In the time since the family has relinquished a good deal of its hold over the school, having deemed directly running it a waste of their resources, as long it sticks around they don't really care. That being said they still hold a large amount of authority in the community. 

 Edric and Emira are both naturally gifted espers who've never had trouble demonstrating their powers and the 'superiority over the rest of the humans' that their parents desired. The only setback they've faced is that they trained and developed their powers together a bit too much. See, Edric has trained his whole life in using his psychic powers to create projections aka illusions, and Emira has power-based abilities, in which she can give Edric's illusions the full force of their imagined attacks. Separately neither of them can make or do anything worthwhile but together they're top students. Fortunately they've been able to hide that drawback from everybody so far.

Amity, on the other hand, has never displayed any sign of even the potential for psychic powers. Her parents consider her to be both a failure to the entire family and their greatest embarrassment. That didn't stop them from enrolling her in a school exclusively for people with psychic powers though, cause they would much rather force Amity to find some way to lie and cheat around her entire life than reveal to the world they have a talentless daughter. They force Amity to become friends with children of their choosing, who will help her cover up her 'failure' and they assign Ed and Em to watch out for her and make sure she doesn't 'destroy the Blight family name.'

That’s about all the background for her thing, and I’ll get to what Luz is up to in a moment, but first I’m gonna make a momentary stop to talk about Willow (and kind of Gus). Willow is also an esper, though she honestly would rather not be. She enjoys the affinity with plants that she's built up over the years but she'd trade it in a heartbeat if it meant she would get to go back to normal school instead  of this fancy esper school with all these stuck up superpowered narcist teenagers who hate her. The only reason she even goes anymore is because she doesn't want to disappoint her parents, who were just so proud of her when her powers developed. Though one day she did ditch school to go visit a normal high school, just to see what it was like. There she met Gus, who happened to be the only member of a fanclub for espers, on account of everyone else in the school doesn't believe in espers and think he's crazy. Well, there was this other girl but... She’s not around anymore. Anyway so Willow befriends Gus and shows him some of her plant affinity thing and he thinks it's amazing, and Willow has a pretty terrible lack of people her age who think anything she does is remotely notable, much less amazing, so she and Gus develop a friendship pretty quickly.

Aight, now finally onto the main event, Luz and Lumity. So Spotlight on our girl Luz, who just so happens to be a spirit at the moment. I'm not sure what actually happened to her to, ya know, unalive her, but it sure did happen. Still, she managed to hold on to the world long enough to form as a spirit, just through sheer willpower and certainty that she wasn't done yet. Essentially she dies and starts to drift off but like right before everything fades to black she just like, jolts back up like 'hey no absolutely not I had dreams and a family and there is so much going on here that I am going to see and do and nobody can stop me.' And, as Luz do, she decides to focus on the positive bits of this instead. 

 See, cause back when she was alive our girl happened to be something of an esper enthusiast. And the thing about being a huge nerd about espers is that she managed to do some digging on the notable espers of the area. So, naturally, she found out about the Blight family. And she just so happened to find out about Amity specifically while she was at it, and perhaps she had discovered this information about a girl her age belonging to the most important esper family of the city and decided that this girl would be her rival in the field of becoming the best esper she could be, despite, admittedly, not knowing how to make the esper part even happen in the first place.

So, now with a spirit body not bound by the laws of physics and other such inconvenient matters, she searches out the Blight manor, intent on finding Amity, this whole preconceived notion in her head about how this is all going to go, some fanficitony plot unfolding in her imagination about how once they were bitter rivals but now Luz will have to convince her to work with her so she can achieve her dream still.

But when she gets to the manor she finds it warded against spirits. Not to be deterred, she waits outside the gates for Amity and latches onto her backpack, waiting for a good time to reveal herself to Amity, though she questions a bit why the girl doesn't see her in the first place. She hides with Amity all day, surviving a whole day in a school full of espers who could exorcise her with a flick of their finger, solely because she was with The Amity Blight, and anyone who noticed her energy just assumed Amity knew what she was doing and left her alone. The drawback to this, though, was that Luz kinda got directly smacked in the face by her preconceived notions of what Amity would be like, and while initially she had intended to reveal herself to Amity in order to ask for help, after seeing her be rude and pretentious to literally everyone all day she instead reveals herself to basically just yell at Amity and get really mad. Fortunately for Amity she's not an esper so she can't see spirits anyway.

Except the thing is. She's walking home by herself, like she always does, and then she starts to hear this whispering coming from nowhere, getting louder and louder, until eventually she just hears someone yell her name out of nowhere. See, Amity had never seen a spirit before, but also, a spirit had never gone out of its way to appear to her before. Essentially Luz accidentally reached out to her and lit the spark of her dormant psychic powers (everyone has at least some level of psychic powers sleeping within them it's kind of a whole thing). So Amity spends the entire time Luz is yelling at her just, staring open mouthed at this spirit that appeared for her out of nowhere after 14 years of hell. She doesn't even acknowledge any of the stuff Luz said about her, she was far too overwhelmed by just the fact that after being a failure her whole life she suddenly wasn't, at least, not entirely.

Luz eventually notices that she is getting far from the anticipated reaction and she quiets down. At that point the two talk things out and, while Luz is still seriously disappointed in the person Amity turned out to be, she doesn't have any better ideas of who to talk to, she kind of needs someone to be her communication piece to the real world at this point, and Amity finally has something she can use to actually do things with her 'psychic powers.' Cause they've been awakened now, yeah, but she quickly realizes she can see Luz and Only Luz. So the two of them begrudgingly work together, each kind of starting off mutually aware that they're just using the other for their own goals, and being perfectly okay with that.

So that's the general relationship dynamic between the two of them at the start, and eventually they get to know each other better. Amity stops viewing Luz as a spirit and starts learning more about the person she was before she died. (Amity just calls her "spirit" for like, at least the first week. The first time she uses Luz' name is a whole thing). Meanwhile Luz learns more about what Amity's life is like behind the scenes and everything that's happened to her.