#but of course 'gonna go cry in the bathroom' is relatable at any moment

[kissmethroughthebone]

Now for the witchy people.....

I've been going through it. Had recently been banned from a favorite social spot of mine, since some predators (and enablers) in the scene wanted me away. Not a total loss, just a surprise AND embarrassing.

But its like... Oh no. I can't go to an open mic with a low turnout and rats any more to watch mid comedians perform? Oh pooh!

And fresh out of an abusive relationship, where the ex actually had texted me a large essay about all they hate about me. (Also not a loss, because I left him for SA related reasons and an overall sex addiction paired with a lack of accountability or safety.)

Cry me a river sir, I set a boundary after I was already having you on thin ice in my head. And you broke the ice, and can drown.

[Post-abusive relationship brain = sometimes your brain had allowed people around too long, since you saw endearing qualities or had seen potential or good moments.... But I was finally taking off the rose colored glasses.] He was all mad that I didn't wanna talk about sex with him, even as a joke, and decided a tantrum and name slinging was appropriate, and blocked me everywhere. And now is mad that a month later, I've had a lot of fun without him and any tactics to re-enter are failing. Nananana booboo. Womp womp.

And the new guy I casually saw put me in a situation where I had been attacked by his ex, FIRST thing in the morning. (An EX. As in, broken up, not even dating any more. You could tell she still loved him since she was putting her hands on me and not HIM.)

Like maam! I don't even know your name! And this is not even a man I am serious with! What the fuck?!

(I backhanded the shit out of her, though. The difference between me and her is, I fought her out of self respect and defense. She fought me over a white twink with a good job and a big dick moving on from her faster than she wanted. And that is not my issue.)

And my housemate is of course leaving the bathroom reeking even with incense around, and has dishes in the sink that have been there since about February.

They make the house reek of cat food, and we don't even have a cat. Their dish water is just getting yellow, thick and murky, like some sort of weird egg drop soup mixed with a roux. (Ew!)

I also have been drained more often. I know, some stuff can be resolved with more water, some probiotics, some walks, reading, drawing, dancing, and more random impromptu social outings...

But I am also a tad tired of feeling like there's a mental blockage preventing me from my goals and self esteem actually flourishing again.

Anyone able to suggest any spells for me?

Any spells, routines, candle work, chakra stuff, tarot readings, anything? Affirmations are also wonderful, and I like spells just to add an extra oomph of reassurance that it's all gonna go great.

Any spells like:

1. Attraction Spell for Wealthy Safe Partners (I want to date people who are aligned with my life and goals and provide exactly what I am aiming for; paid bills, thoughtful intentional gifts, and invested in projects that I flourish in!)

2. Friendship Magnet Spell (I want followers and friends that are good energied but still a tad edgy enough that we align perfectly well, and to be a magnet to those who are great for me and healthy. And not just fake ones, like actually going out to events, being and feeling heard, aligned socially and emotionally and mentally! And talking consistently! That good stuff!)

3. Clarity and Focus Spell (so I can not be distracted midway through a task, 45 times a day, and somehow get 1% done in 45 things and yet nothing done at all.... also, energy to get up and go without any hesitation)

4. Health and Vitality Spell (because it would be great if my legs, back, spine, head, neck, arms, hips, pussy, feet, and brain all could work together and make an amazingly functioning human that can actually walk in public and have an easy time existing)

5. Protection Spell Against Negative Energies (because whew, that was... a lot! And Florida Water hasn't stopped shit. Here I was, manifesting peace and protection from vile energies, and I still got harmed TWICE, once from a pest [a rat scratched me], and another from another type of pest; a shrew! And her nails were even LONGER, and hair even of worse quality! Aliexpress ass wig!)

[fanficimagery]

When Enough is Enough pt. II

Imagine being let down one too many times by your best friend, only to end up making some new ones in the process.

Words: 8.5K Author’s Note: Okay so some of you asked to only be added to part 2 of this while others asked to be added everything Bucky.. and a few others weren’t exactly clear. So if you want to be tagged in any future Bucky related imagines please let me know so I can get your blog name written down on my list.

Tags:  @aya-fay @70s-chic @sipsteacasually @kaitlyn2907 @scarlettwitch99 @thingsforimagination  @mimilh @felicityofbakerstreet @eternalharry @eliwinchester99 @intothesoul​ @wintershadowkat  @b1sexualtonystark  @meredeph @miszswan

The Sunday before you are to return to work, you sleep in until nine in the morning. Your thoughts are immediately on Bucky's impending arrival and you couldn't help the butterflies that took flight in your stomach. He's a friend, just as all the others are, but you couldn't help but notice just how attractive this new friend of yours is. But not only does his attractiveness draw you in, his easy-going teasing and protectiveness does too. However, Bucky Barnes is still a man trying to find his footing in this world after all that's been done to him and finally getting his name cleared, and if he finds comfort with you then you're going to try your best and be the friend he needs.

So since you're not dressing to impress, you dress in your favorite lazy outfit after your shower- leggings, sports bra, a faded sleeveless band tee with the arm holes having been cut down to around your ribs, and a pair of socks. Damp hair gets gathered up into a messy bun and you walk around your apartment to pick up some things you had unknowingly left out.

You've skipped breakfast, so when there's a knock on your door and you open up to find Bucky standing there, you groan in relief. He raises both hands with paper bags hanging from each. "I come bearing sushi. Wanda let it slip how much you love it."

"Yesss." You step back, quickly taking in his own comfort outfit of sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt under an opened jacket. "Did you bring plenty of wasabi? And you can just kick off your shoes anywhere."

"Of course." He hands you the bags so he can kick off his shoes and strip out of his jacket before hanging it up. You don't know why, but seeing him in a short sleeve shirt makes you happy, knowing full well he was weird about his metal arm being out in the open. "And plenty of dipping sauce as well. Wanda was more than happy to give me advice."

"Wanda, huh?" You chuckle, leading the way to your kitchen. "You actually told her where'd you be?"

"Apparently I looked very pensive this morning. She asked and I figured she was a better confidant than Steve or Sam who would have made a big deal about us hanging out."

"True." Setting the bags down, you let him empty them while you head to the fridge. "Beer?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing him a beer and yourself a can of Cola, you return to the table and your eyes widen at the sight of all the sushi. "Damn, Barnes. That's a lot of sushi."

"Don't act like you won't eat half of it."

You laugh as you take a seat, handing him his beer and pulling a few trays to your side of the table. You take a container of wasabi and dipping sauce for yourself, and grab a pair of chopsticks to start digging in.

You moan in delight at your first taste, happily shimmying in your seat before taking another. Eventually, you ask, "So what are you going to do when I'm back at work and I can't keep you entertained by getting shitfaced?"

Bucky grins around his mouthful of food before chasing it down with a swig of his beer. "We actually got a mission comin' up so I'll be leavin' around mid-week."

"Well that sucks." You sigh. "Now who am I going to send random pictures to when I have downtime at work?"

He grins. "You can still send them to me. I just won't get back to you until after the mission's complete."

"Yeah, yeah."

The two of you continue to eat- Bucky dodging Steve's texts about where he is and when he's coming back, and you sending the middle finger emoji over and over to Wanda who keeps wondering how your date is going. Then once most of the sushi is gone and Bucky puts what little is left into the fridge, the two of you head to the living room. You immediately flop onto the couch as Bucky takes the plush recliner, only for you to hear him moving the chair into its reclined position seconds later.

"Oh. I definitely need to get one of these."

You laugh as he snuggles down and you pick up the remote to bring up your streaming services. "Anything you've been meaning to watch?"

"Not really. Just show me your favorites."

You start off with some humor by playing the Goonies. It's a movie that no matter how many times you've seen it, it always seems to make you laugh. And it seems Bucky is not immune either when they make Chunk to the truffle shuffle. Titanic plays afterwards, but only after making sure Bucky found it somewhat interesting after reading the movie summary to him. He is interested from beginning to end and doesn't even laugh at you when you shed a few tears for the old married couple who opt to stay in their bed as the room floods.

When a break is needed, you head off towards the bathroom as Bucky finishes off the leftover sushi. Both of you check your phones and read each other the missed text messages from Steve and his worrying behavior.

"Wanna tell Steve to fuck off via video message?" Bucky takes a moment to think on it before he grins and nods. "Excellent. Sit in the recliner. I'm gonna crawl up all in your business. That okay?"

"Yeah."

As Bucky gets comfortable in the recliner, you sit on the armrest before sliding down sideways onto his lap. You bring up the camera app on your phone and switch it to video, sliding your right arm behind Bucky's neck while holding your left arm out to capture the two of you on the screen. "Ready?"

"Sure, doll."

You chuckle quietly and then smirk mischievously as Bucky relaxes his expression into his best resting bitch face. After you hit record, you say, "Hey Rogers, stop being a little bitch and sending us text after text. I'm tryin' to fuck your best friend here." Bucky's expression cracks as he barks out a laugh and you turn to face him while grinning. You share a laugh with him before facing the camera once more. "Only joking, but seriously stop buggin' us. I promise to send him back in one piece."

As you prepare to send the text to Steve, Bucky says, "You're terrible."

"Whatever. Admit it, you adore me."

"Occasionally."

You huff another laugh as the video message finally sends. You and Bucky both watch as the delivered status turns to read, and then those three little dots appear as Steve starts typing his reply.

"Tell Bucky to wrap it before he taps it." You burst out laughing at Steve's text, Bucky's rumbling laughter only fueling yours even more. "God I hate your best friend sometimes." And before you climb off Bucky's lap, because honestly you were getting a little too comfortable, you send Steve a few middle finger emojis before deciding on a third movie to watch.

The third movie you choose is one that never fails to make you laugh- Bridesmaids. You had a moment of hesitancy because of the sex scenes, but you figured they were ridiculous enough that it wouldn't be awkward. Thankfully you're correct and you get the added bonus of hearing Bucky's laughter again during Megan's scenes, especially when they get food poisoning and are all fighting for the bathroom.

You and Bucky take yet another break after the film, just stretching and finding something to drink.

"So what's the verdict, Barnes? Are you enjoying the films?"

He grins. "Your taste is all over the place, huh? That last one we watched was raunchy."

"But hilarious! You need to watch the Hangover trilogy, but you definitely need to watch that with Steve and then watch him squirm at the pictures that roll with the credits."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Jurassic Park holds his attention and he can't help but comment how stupid one has to be to replicate dinosaur DNA and then open up a park with live dinosaurs. You laugh, but don't bother commenting. You'll tell him later there are more movies involved, with yet another idiotic man who felt he could get the park up and running once more.

It's getting dark, but it's still a little too early for dinner. One more movie and then you'll order or go out and pick something up.

"So this last one for the day is a movie that's directed more towards the female viewers, but you did ask for my favorite films and Practical Magic is my absolute favorite."

"Well put it on, doll."

As you press play on Practical Magic, you quickly grab a throw blanket and snuggle in. Instead of watching Bucky, you watch the film and mumble certain quotes to yourself. The magic scenes always bring a soft smile to your face just as Gary's confession to Sally of I wished for you too breaks your heart, and Sally and Gillian's heartfelt sister moment makes you cry.

Afterwards, Bucky hums in thought. "So that's your favorite?"

"Absolutely." You tell him. He's watching you curiously and you grin. "If I show you something, you promise not to laugh?"

"I'll try."

"Whatever. That's good enough for me." Standing up, you walk towards him and kneel, and tell him to pull your shirt sideways by the armhole next to your left arm. There on the back of your left shoulder and forever etched into your skin is a salt shaker, a rosemary plant, a lavender plant, and a heart. You then rattle off one of your favorite quotes to him. "Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can."

Bucky chuckles as you get up, retaking your spot on the sofa. "You really are a fan of the movie."

You nod. "As a little girl, I was fascinated by magic. I thought I'd grow out of it, but I only grew more fond of it. And then I found Practical Magic and it had a bit of everything I adored."

"So what's the one scene that just gets you every time?"

"Ugh. You're making me choose?!" You feign being distraught and he grins. As you think about it, you keep coming back to two scenes in particular. "So there's two," you tell him, "and I'm not choosing between them." Bucky nods, awaiting your answer. "Gillian's possession. When Sally calls together the other mothers who were mean to her in order to make a temporary coven to save her sister, and Gillian begs Sally to just let her ghost ex have her."

Bucky hums. "That was a bit sad, doll. I saw you shedding a few tears over that."

"Mhm. And the other scene is when Sally comes clean to Gary and admits that she did a spell as a child to call forth her perfect love thinking it wouldn't exist, only it did. When Gary tells Sally that he wished for her too, it just breaks my fuckin' heart."

"Let me guess, you were one of the girls who cast her own spell after seeing that scene." You stay quiet for a moment and the second you feel your face heat, Bucky laughs. "What did you wish for?"

You groan quietly. "If I tell you, you can't laugh!" He only smiles in response and you know he won't drop it until you tell him. "Fine. So even though I knew it would never work, I gathered the weirdest objects and wished for a significant other with dark hair and colored eyes. He had to be protective and funny and love me for me. Simple."

For some reason you can't seem to meet Bucky's gaze then and you feel awkward the longer the silence stretches on.

"So dinner?" He asks.

"Oh god, yes please. Pizza and wings?"

"Sounds good."

You have the nearby pizza place on speed dial, so after finding out Bucky's preferences you make the call and place the order. It's going to be about a thirty minute wait, so you fill the time sending Steve pic after pic of Bucky who's none the wiser as he scrolls through his own phone and adding the most asinine comments to each picture. Steve thinks it's absolutely hilarious.

Then when the pizza and wings arrive, you beat Bucky to the door and thrust several bills at the delivery boy. He's more than happy with his tip and you hurriedly wave him off before shutting the door. You laugh at Bucky's disgruntled expression and then place everything on the table while gathering a beer for both you and him.

"Don't let me have more than two," you tell him while handing him his own bottle of beer.

Bucky agrees and the two of you dig into your own personal pizzas and boxes of wings once you're situated around the table. As you're eating, Bucky asks about what other movies you hold near and dear. You fill him in on a few others and he hesitantly puts it out there that he'd be up for another movie marathon when you both have a day off. You agree that that's doable.

Halfway through dinner, as you and Bucky are chuckling over the thought of making Steve sit through Bridesmaids, there's a sound of glass breaking from your living room and a muffled curse. The two of you immediately cease making any type of noise and Bucky is up with a gun in hand.

"Where the hell did that come from?! You hiss.

The telltale sound of a window then sliding shut can be heard.

"Shut up and get behind me."

The authority in his voice makes you freeze and your heart flutter at the same time, and you have to mentally scold yourself before you quickly do as he says. You follow Bucky towards the living, ready to duck at the ready, only to sigh and roll your eyes when you see who it is.

Bucky stands tall and lowers his gun. "Parker." You can practically hear the annoyance in his voice.

"Mr. Barnes?" Peeking around his shoulder, you raise your eyebrow at your best friend who's been too busy for you and is now frowning at Bucky. When he catches sight of you, he asks, "What's going on?"

"Uh, well we were having dinner until we thought someone was breaking in."

"Alone?!"

Your brow furrows at Peter's incredulousness, only for him to realize you're not impressed with his tone. You raise an eyebrow at him and cross your arms over your chest. "Did you need something?"

"Oh, um, yeah." He shifts from foot to foot, gesturing to his face where there's a scrape on his cheekbone. "My ribs took a beating too. Can you patch me up?"

"Sure." You sigh. "Why not."

Before you can leave to go to the bathroom to get the supplies you need, Bucky says, "I'll just get out of your way then."

You stop and face him. "What? But we haven't even finished our food. It won't take me long."

"It's fine, doll." He grins when he realizes you're trying to get him to stay. "You gotta hit the hay early anyway. We'll talk soon."

You hold his gaze for a moment longer, sighing when he won't budge. "Well at least take your food with you. No use in it going to waste."

Bucky nods and heads back to the kitchen, collecting his food. You watch him and then follow him to the door, holding his food while he bends over to lace up his boots. Once he retakes his food and you open the door, he thanks you for the time away from the tower and disappears down the hall.

Shutting the door and then heading back into the living room, you tell Peter to get back into his regular clothes so you can get to his ribs while you go gather your medical supplies.

Meeting Peter back in the living room and setting everything down on the coffee table, he says, "So you and Bucky-"

"Don't." You pick up the peroxide bottle and soak a cotton ball in it. "Bucky and I are friends."

Peter manages to keep his mouth shut as you clean the scrape on his cheek and place a small bandage on it. Then when you've checked his ribs and tell him he just needs to ice them, he mumbles, "Friends who apparently lick each other." You snort and think nothing of his sullen tone, but when you look at his face you see he's actually being quite serious. There's no chuckle or boyish grin and for a moment you're absolutely floored at his attitude. "I don't think I'm comfortable with Bucky being alone with you in your apartment."

"Are you- are you kidding me?" You huff and take a step back from him. When Peter just continues to frown, you shake your head at him. "First of all, I'm an adult woman who can make her own decisions."

"I know, but-"

"I'm not finished!" You snap. Peter's eyes widen, but he smartly ceases talking. "I am allowed to have friends whether you like them or not. We have a pact, Petey, and since I'm still abiding by it I would hope that you would too."

"Yeah, but that's for significant others!"

"Significant others or friends, it doesn't matter. And you should be grateful I've kept my mouth shut when it comes to you and Leslie because let me tell you, I've been biting my tongue a lot these past few weeks. Bucky and the others have stepped up since you've abandoned me, so you have absolutely no room to tell me that you're uncomfortable with him or any of them being around me."

"Leslie isn't that bad and I have not abandoned you." You snort, but don't bother opening that can of worms even further. He finally gets annoyed with your quietness. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"You're here because you needed a bandage. Tell me, Peter, where are you going after here? Where are you going after making five minutes of small talk and calling it a night?" He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut, shrugs, and you shake your head at him once more in disappointment. "Exactly. Just go, Peter. I'm so over this conversation right now and I have work in the morning."

"Wait, but we promised we'd never leave a conversation where we were still annoyed with each other!"

"And we also promised we'd never judge who the other decided to spend time with, but here we are." He frowns at you. "Go to your girlfriend, Peter. We'll talk again in another few days or weeks or whenever. I don't care right now."

Peter stands there, gaping, before he pulls himself together and makes his way back towards the window he had crawled through. He glances at you one last time, but you merely keep staring until his mask encompasses his head once more and he lifts the window before taking his leave.

As the window shuts behind him, you sag in on yourself and your breathing stutters in your chest as your eyes fill with tears. You've never been this angry at Peter and the fact that he thinks it's okay to ignore you until he needs something and then has an opinion about who you hang out with was just too much for you to let slide.

You quickly gather everything from your coffee table and return it to its rightful place in your bathroom, and throw away the trash. Your appetite is long gone, so you put up what's left of your food and then head to your room to gather some clothes so you can shower and get into bed.

By the time you've crawled into bed, you're still a bit annoyed. So grabbing your phone, you pull up your text messages and click on Bucky's thread.

To Bucky: Well that was a shit show. I don't think I've ever made Petey leave my apartment while we were still angry with each other.

From Bucky: I'm sorry, doll. Anything I can do?

To Bucky: If he gives you attitude, get a non-serum individual to punch him. You, Steve, and probably Nat will send him flying into the wall.

From Bucky: If I remember..

To Bucky: Well I mean if you forget, I won't complain. I'll probably laugh when he comes crying to me.

From Bucky: You're a terrible human being.

To Bucky: Whatever. You adore me just the way I am. And now I should get some shut eye. I'll talk to you soon. Night, Sarge.

From Bucky: Night, sweetheart.

For the next couple of weeks, you keep yourself busy with work. Bucky and a few others do go on a mission as he said they would, so you keep your texts to a minimum of three each day- a good morning, a random story from that day, and a good night. They're gone for four days and in those four days you've not heard from Peter. The only reason you know he's not completely done with you is the fact he likes your posts that you put up on social media.

But since you're not currently speaking to your best friend and are too exhausted to hang out with anyone else, you're in a bit of a funk and completely caught off guard one evening when the patient a police officer brings in smacks you right across the face. You had been trying to insert an IV into his arm when he completely lost his shit, and then you were hit so hard that you were strewn across the gurney behind you. And in your vulnerable position, a fistful of your hair had been grabbed and yanked right before the police officer had intervened and pulled the patient off of you.

You had been given a bit of time to ice your cheek before you had to get back to work, but your face and scalp were hurting you the entire time.

On your way home, however, you're surprised to receive a call from Pepper. You're heading towards your apartment complex when she invites you to dinner there at the tower since Darcy is finally back in town, and you hate to do it, but you're not exactly up to be around such a rowdy bunch. So you apologize to Pepper and ask her to apologize to Darcy for you, and take a rain check. Immediately she knows something is wrong, but you only tell her you had a rough night at work and all you want is a hot shower and to crawl into bed. She hesitates but wishes you well, and the call ends moments later.

When you get home, you waste no time in locking the door behind you and heading straight for your bathroom. You strip down and take the hottest shower your body is capable of handling, and let yourself relax in the steam-filled room. Afterwards, as you're drying off, you gently dry your hair since your scalp is still sensitive and then get dressed in some of your comfort clothes.

Then heading out into the kitchen, you find some leftovers in your fridge and heat those up, tiredly sitting at your kitchen table and digging in. Just as you're done with your food and heading towards the living room, someone pounds on your apartment door. You sigh, hoping they go away, and have only plopped down onto the sofa when a familiar gruff voice speaks through the wood.

You quietly groan as Bucky tells you he knows you're there and you get up to open the door for him. He's on the verge of knocking again when you swing the door open. "Hey. Pepper said-" He trails off as he takes in your appearance, expression going slack before his jaw clenches in anger. "Who?"

You shake your head, gesturing him inside as you turn around and walk towards your sofa. You hear your door click shut before the footsteps follow you. "Work got a little hectic. No need to hunt down anyone, Barnes. I'm fine."

"Half your face is bruised, doll. You are not fine."

"It's all part of my job." You shrug and plop down onto the sofa once more. Pulling a blanket over your lap, you stare up at your friend. "There will always be a drunk and disorderly patient. I was just lucky he didn't do more damage."

Bucky frowns, but he doesn't push you on it. Instead, he walks over and sits next to you, angling his body towards yours when gentle fingers grasp your chin to angle your face more towards him. "What exactly happened?" He asks as his eyes dart over every inch of your face.

"Some petty criminal did some damage to his head in the back of a patrol car. Police officer brought him in and he seemed pretty docile up until I jabbed him with the IV. He got the drop on me. It happens." Gentle fingers brush along your cheekbone and you flinch. Tears sting your eyes as you sniffle. "I'm fine."

"Just because you keep sayin' that doesn't mean it's true."

Your bottom lip wobbles at his words and you lose the battle with keeping the tears at bay. The moment they fall, Bucky pulls you into a hug and you cry into his shoulder. "Dammit," you mumble. "See what you started!"

Bucky chuckles and he holds you a few moments longer, rubbing a hand up and your back to offer a semblance of comfort. When he lets you go, you fall back against the sofa cushions and wipe the tears away with your blanket. "So what are we watching?" He asks while settling in next to you and draping an arm behind your head.

"Shouldn't you go back to the tower and have dinner with the rest of them? I'm-"

"If you say you're fine one more time, I will drag you back to the tower and let Steve motherhen you."

You sigh. "Low blow, Buckaroo."

"And for that horrendous nickname, you've lost the privilege of choosing what we're going to watch."

You laugh and don't bother arguing with him about it as he leans across you to snag up the remote. When he settles back down and you snuggle into his side, you huff a small laugh when he settles on TLC which is showing 90 Day Fiancé.

"Why this show?" You ask.

"Because it blows my mind that some people are so oblivious and can't see that their chosen partner is only in it for the green card."

As you let his reasoning sink in, you can't help but giggle as you picture Bucky sitting in his own apartment and bad mouthing the TV because he didn't like the decisions the people were making in their love life. You watch along with him, cringing at the more obvious couples that are only headed for future divorce and smiling when one of the couples is actually in it for love.

You manage to almost watch a complete two hour episode when there's a knock on your door, but you're too comfortable to get up and answer it.

"You get it," you say as you nudge Bucky.

He nudges you back. "It's your apartment."

"Yeah, but I don't feel like getting up."

"You could have at least come up with a better excuse."

You grin, finally taking your eyes off the screen and glancing up at Bucky. "M'too tired. Brain's not working fast enough." He continues to give you a deadpan stare until you jut out your bottom lip. "Please?"

The second Bucky's lips twitch, you know you've won. He huffs and roughly pushes himself up off the sofa as if answering the door is a hardship, and you go back to watching TV. At least until you hear a familiar voice stammer, "Uh, h-hey Mr. Barnes. Is Y/N home?"

Your gaze snaps towards the door where Peter is standing out in the hallway, hands in his pockets as he sheepishly stares at Bucky. The man in question turns and raises an eyebrow at you as if saying what do I do and you give him a terse nod to let him know it's okay. Bucky steps aside and Peter readily walks in.

"I should be getting back to the tower," Bucky suddenly says. "You kids have fun."

This time it's your turn to give him a deadpan stare and he smirks right before slipping his boots back on. Then as soon as they're laced up, he's walking out the door and shutting it behind him. Peter, who hadn't stopped staring at the intimidating man, finally turns to look at you. And when he does, his eyes widen.

"What happened to your face?!"

You sigh. "I'm fine. Just had a little incident at work."

"And Mr. Barnes was what? Comforting you?"

"First of all, can you stop calling him Mr. Barnes? You two avenge together and what not. I'm pretty sure that means you're on a first name basis." Peter grins as he takes a seat on the recliner near you, shrugging. "And Bucky was here because when I turned down dinner at the tower, Pepper figured something was wrong. Bucky took it upon himself to check in."

"So are you two like a thing or something?" He wonders.

"We're just.. friends," you say. "For some unknown reason we clicked and we're comfortable in each other's company."

For a moment Peter doesn't say anything, nor will he meet your gaze, but then he's looking at you and sighing. "I'm sorry." You blink at him, surprised to hear the apology. "I shouldn't have freaked out that one night. Who you are friends with and who you decide to date is your business."

You finally smile, even though it's rather small. "Thank you. And don't get me wrong, I know you meant well, but you should have dropped it and just trusted my judgment."

"Yeah. I know," he mumbles.

"Soo.. are we good?" You ask.

"Yeah."

"Good. I was getting tired of you liking my posts and not commenting on them."

Peter snorts. A moment of silence passes and then he says, "So you'll be glad to know that Leslie and I aren't together anymore. I broke it off earlier tonight."

You wince. "Sorry."

"Nah. Don't be. She was totally using me for access to the tower." You're torn between being smug about being right and being sad for your friend who just ended his relationship. "I only realized it earlier when she got upset because Mr. Rogers posted a picture of you and Mr. Barnes together, and she had a few choice words to say about it."

"What? Steve posted a picture of us?" You quickly pull out your phone, checking social media for any notifications. There are none, but as you get on Instagram you check Steve's page and sure enough there's a new pic that shows Bucky staring fondly at you as you laugh at something on your phone. "That little shit didn't tag us!"

As your thumbs move furiously to give Steve a piece of your mind and to comment how adorable you and Bucky look, Peter can't help but say, "You're attracted to him."

Your texting falters and you quickly glance at your friend to gauge his reaction, but when he just looks amused, you shrug. "I mean have you seen him? How could I not be attracted to him?"

"Does he know?"

"I have a feeling he does. Asshole likes to fluster me every now and then."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure he likes you back." You snort and go back to finishing up the comment on Steve's post. "I'm serious. When we stopped talking, he threatened me. He was pissed that I made you cry and said I was lucky. He's actually really scary when you're on his bad side."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in and when they do you can feel your ears heating up, followed by your cheeks. Peter starts to laugh and you groan in embarrassment. "Why is this so weird? Dating should be easy!"

"Well he is an Avenger.."

"I don't care about that! He's just- he's really, really hot. It's intimidating."

"Wait, what?" Peter huffs. "So you're intimidated by his hotness and not because he's a super-soldier with a metal arm?"

"Well yeah."

Expression melting into one of confusion, your friend eventually shakes his head at you. "You're on your own with that. Good luck."

You hadn't realized how much everyone had known about your and Peter's brief falling out until the two of you were laughing together once again at the tower. It seemed like everyone had sagged in relief now that the two of you were poking fun at one another once more, and you had to apologize for apparently making it awkward for them.

And now that your best friend knew of your crush on a certain super-soldier, there was lots of teasing material. Of course you kept him in line when you could, but there was no stopping the force of Peter, Wanda, and Darcy combined.

It's a random Tuesday night when you've driven over to the Tower, Bucky having called you over for dinner with a few friends. You had the day off so you didn't mind heading on over, but as the elevator doors slide open after having ridden up to the communal floor, you yelp in surprise as the small gathered crows that shout, "Happy birthday!", at you.

Steve, Wanda, Sam, and Peter pop confetti poppers as you step out of the elevator, eyes wide as you glance between each of them. "My birthday is not until tomorrow!" You hiss.

"But you work tomorrow." Wanda frowns.

"Mhm." Your eyes then narrow, glancing behind them at the streamers and balloons hanging from the ceiling. "And how'd you guys even know?"

Everyone glances at Peter and he takes a step back when your gaze slides to him. He chuckles sheepishly. "I might have hid your birthday cupcake here and Steve found it."

"Petey," you groan. "Why couldn't you just hide it at aunt May's like usual? You know I dislike birthday celebrations."

"You don't dislike them. You just dislike all the attention being on you."

"Whatever. Where's Barnes? He's the one who lured me here under false pretenses. I got a bone to pick with him too."

Everyone turns around and Bucky's head appears from around the corner. He smirks and you glare at him. "Not false pretenses. We are having dinner," he says. "It just so happens to be a birthday dinner. And it's running a little bit late, so until the food gets here you get to open presents."

"You guys all suck."

Peter and Wanda each take a hand and drag you further into the room, heading towards the kitchen. Bucky fully steps out from behind the wall and you aim a kick at his shin as you're walking by. He laughs as he easily dodges it and then you're standing by the kitchen island that's been cleared of everything other than birthday presents.

You huff a small laugh and shake your head fondly at them. "I love you guys, but you do know you didn't have to get me anything, right?"

"Shut up and open the presents," Bucky says.

"Open mine first," Sam says, reaching into the small pile and pulling out a white envelope. "Unlike the others, I was literally told within the last thirty minutes we were doing this so yeah. It's not the best present, but I think you'll enjoy it."

You smile at Sam as you open it, chuckling at the plain birthday card and his brief personal message written inside. But it's what else that's inside that makes you meet Sam's gaze once more, smiling fondly at him. "Thank you. I can't get enough of bubble tea and I'm sure I can do some damage with this gift card."

"You're welcome."

"Mine next." Peter reaches in for a medium-sized box and hands it over to you. "I know you're not a fan of presents, so I got you something I actually knew you'd enjoy."

Raising an eyebrow at him, you pull the lid off of the box. Then glancing down, you snort before pulling out a bottle of Patron Silver Tequila. "I knew we were best friends for a reason."

Steve groans. "Please drink responsibly."

"Please. Responsible is my middle name, Rogers." Everyone snorts and instead of trying to remain serious and feign offense, you end up laughing. "Sam and Buck are good babysitters. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's to be determined," he says. "Here. Open mine. I honestly had no idea what to get you, but Peter assured me you'd enjoy this."

Putting the bottle of tequila back in its box, you accept Steve's gift. Pulling off the ribbon, you can't help but laugh when you see what's inside. "Cards Against Humanity." Peter cheers. "We're playing this the next time I have off," you say, grinning at Steve.

"What is Cards Against Humanity?" He wonders. "I just picked it up and boxed it."

"It's possibly one of the most confusing card games or raunchy card games you'll ever play," Sam says. "I, for one, am looking forward to it."

"Thank you, Steve. I seriously can't wait to play it."

"You're welcome."

Wanda claps her hands. "Mine and Darcy's next. She ordered online and I had to pick it up earlier. But, um, I'm not sure you want to open it up in front of everyone."

"Oh god. Don't tell me it's a vibrator."

Sam laughs out loud as both Peter and Steve start blushing. Bucky looks rather amused and intrigued as Wanda slides two boxes over to you. She shakes her head, giggling. "Not quite."

For a brief moment you're relieved, but then her answer sinks in and you're hesitant all over again. You groan. "Is yours safer? I feel like it is. Which one is it?"

Wanda only smirks as she pushes her box towards you. You open it, marvel at its contents, and then put the lid back on much to the boys' displeasure. Trying to keep a straight face, you look at Wanda. "How many sets did you get?"

"There's four. All in colors that will look amazing against your skin tone."

"Thank you. I'll send you pictures when I wear them."

"Yes please! Natasha wants to know how they fit as well. She was the one who suggested them."

"I'll send them to the ladies group chat then."

"Well that's not fair," Sam complains. "First for not showing us what's inside the box and then you guys have a ladies only group chat. I wanna be in the ladies only group chat."

"But then that defeats the purpose of it being a ladies only group chat," you muse.

"Come on," Peter then whines. "What was the present?"

Your gaze slides to Peter, but instead of outright saying what it is, you say, "Think back to that one Halloween night where you wouldn't let me out of the dorm until I switched costumes."

It takes him only a minute to understand and when he does, he snorts. "That wasn't a costume! That was lingerie."

"Whoa, what?" Sam exclaims, grinning.

"Lingerie can be worn as a costume?" Steve wonders.

"I was actually a Victoria's Secret Angel, complete with the most amazing set of wings, and Petey forbade me from leaving the room. It was a sad, sad night."

"As much as I wanna get into that," Sam says, "I wanna know what Barnes got you more."

You chuckle and glance at Bucky, smile faltering when you see him tense. But then he seems to shake himself out of it and offers you a grin. "Open the bigger one first."

Wanda clears away the other presents as Bucky slides his two towards you. You feel giddy as you grab the bigger box, untying the black silk ribbons and lifting the lid. There's tissue paper you open up and you gasp, happily giggling. "You didn't?!"

"Well you did say it was your favorite movie, sweetheart."

"Yes!" You glance up, beaming at Bucky, and your heart swells at his own smile being directed at you. "I really, really love this. I can't wait to hang it up."

"What is it?" Peter wonders, trying to peer across the island.

"It's a quote from Practical Magic," you say and Peter huffs a laugh, knowing full well your love for that movie. You carefully pick it up and turn it around so everyone can see it as you read it off by heart. "Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can."

"Aw," Wanda coos. "That's adorable."

"I made Bucky watch this movie a while back," you say. "I need to show it to you one of these days."

"I'm looking forward to it," she says.

With nothing else to say, you place it back in its box and set it aside in favor for the second box. It's a little smaller, but you're excited for it nonetheless. Untying the ribbon and lifting the lid, you immediately laugh at the white petals scattered atop the tissue paper.

"Barnes, you smooth sonuvabitch," Sam mutters.

Steve and Peter laugh, but you're so focused on the notecard that's under some of the petals. Lifting it up, you read the note to yourself because immediately you know it's personal. My better half has to be funny, get along with my friends, won't judge me for my past, and has decent taste in movies.

Heart fluttering, you bite the corner of your lip when it feels like you're smiling way too much.

"Well what does Prince Charming have to say?" Sam asks.

"That's none of your business." You close the note and then tuck into your back pocket, chuckling when Sam and Wanda complain. When you meet Bucky's gaze, you immediately flush and mentally curse yourself when you see him smirk in return.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, you center yourself and then part the tissue paper. You look at the second portrait and gasp after you read it.

"What? What is it?" Peter wonders.

This second portrait is of a hand drawn bowl with a tipped over salt shaker, a small bundle of lavender, a small bundle of rosemary, and a heart beneath it. Above the bowl is a swirl of flower petals and inside the swirl of petals, in very pretty cursive writing, are the words I wished for you too.

Did he just- did he confess his own feelings by using a Practical Magic quote? Or was this just you overthinking his present? You glance to meet Bucky's gaze and at his gauging expression your eyes fill with tears.

"What did you do, Barnes?!" Sam scolds him. "You made the poor girl cry at her own birthday celebration!"

But Bucky isn't paying him any attention, instead he's solely focused on you. You set the present aside and walk around the kitchen island on shaky legs, and Bucky readily reaches for your waist as you grab his face and pull him down into a kiss.

You can't believe you're kissing Bucky, but then he squeezes your waist and returns the kiss, and you know you made the right choice.

Someone gasps, but then the following words let you know exactly who it is. "Darcy is going to be so angry she missed this." Wanda. That is Wanda.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam wonders. "What type of present can cause this type of reaction?"

You smile against Bucky's mouth, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before falling flat on your feet after having been on the tips of your toes in order to reach his mouth.

"It's my favorite quote from my favorite movie," you say. You turn around to address your friends, but Bucky doesn't let you go far. He wraps one arm around your waist and tugs you back so you're resting against his chest and tucked beneath his chin. "It's a movie about witches," you explain. "These two little girls are being raised by their aunts and they see them performing love spells for a local woman. Basically, one of the young girls refuses to fall in love after witnessing a love spell gone wrong and she does her own spell to call forward a love that would be impossible to find- a man who's favorite shape would be a star and who had one green eye, one blue. Years down the road, the sisters accidentally murder a man."

Sam snorts. "How the hell does one accidentally murder someone?"

"Shush." Wanda admonishes him. "I want to hear the story behind the gift."

You and Bucky chuckle, and you continue to explain. "Anyway, they send in an US Marshall to investigate the disappearance and the one who had done the love spell at a young age starts to fall for this man. She ends up telling him about the murder, but he doesn't quite believe her. Then they're on the verge of hooking up when she gets a good look at his eyes- one green eye, one blue."

"Oh my god. That's so cute!" Wanda says.

"It gets cuter. And sadder," you say. "So she explains to this man about her family, the murder, and how she can't be with him because he's only attracted to her because of a love spell she did when she was just a little girl. At first he's skeptical about this spell bringing him to her, but then he ends up believing her. And as he's walking away from her, he stops to tell her I wished for you too."

"So you made out with Barnes because of that?" Sam shakes his head, chuckling. "Wow."

"It's fuckin' adorable. Stop ruining the moment, Samuel!" Bucky laughs at your words and pulls you closer to him.

"So while I'm happy for Buck," Steve says, "I'm still really curious about what Darcy's gift is."

Peter nods. "Same."

Wanda giggles, but says nothing as she grabs the box and slides it over to you. You groan because you know it can be nothing good, but you still open it since everyone is watching and waiting. As soon as you part the tissue paper and read the box, alongside taking in the picture on the box, your face flames as you shove the lid back on. Wanda cackles.

"I hate her."

"She said to give the remote to-"

"Don't!" You cut Wanda off, blushing even further. "I know who she means to have control of that."

"They- they make underwear that does that?" Bucky muses and you die a little on the inside in embarrassment. You elbow him as he starts to laugh behind you.

Sam instantly knows what the gift is now and starts to laugh, but Steve and Peter apparently need some help.

"Lewis got you vibrating panties, didn't she?"

"Oh my god, Sam, if you don't shut up I'm gonna punch you in the throat."

Steve is torn between laughing and trying not to make you even more uncomfortable, but his amusement wins out. "Given Y/N's flustered state, I'm assuming Darcy wants Bucky to have the remote."

"I mean this seems like it could make for an interesting night."

Everyone laughs at Bucky's sudden interest in the box you're doing your damnedest to keep shut, but luckily Peter steps in. "As much I love watching Y/N squirm, can we get ready to eat? I'm starving."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go wait downstairs for it, kid."

Sam and Peter head for the elevator to take them down to the lobby, and you turn around in Bucky's hold. "Help me take this stuff to my car so I don't have to do it later?"

"Sure thing, doll." He grins. But instead of stepping away, he pushes you further into the kitchen island. You smile as he cages you in and then huff a laugh when he reaches for the box behind you. "So exactly how long do we have to be dating before we can test these out?"

You slowly lean upward so your lips brush his as you say, "I'd say very, very soon if you would put your ass into gear and help me move these presents like I asked."

Bucky laughs and presses a quick kiss to your lips. "Then let's get to it."

The telltale sound of a phone's camera goes off and you turn your face towards the sound. Wanda is beaming, her phone pointed towards you and Bucky. "Darcy wanted evidence I wasn't lying. She's going to be so happy."

Bucky turns his face to look at her then, his cheek brushing against yours where he's yet to back off from you. "Tell Lewis I said thanks for the present. I'll give her my review of them in a few weeks."

Wanda's eyes widen and you immediately blurt, "Don't you dare!" But she's already texting and you know the group chat full of ladies is going to be full of messages that you'll have to reply to later. Quietly groaning, you slap your hands against Bucky's waist and push him back. Looking up at him, you shake your head but the corner of your lips turn up in amusement. "You're terrible. I would threaten to withhold sex, but I've been looking forward to that for a while. I'd just be punishing us both."

"Just tell me when and where, sweetheart, and I'll be there."

"Oh no. You guys are going to be that couple," Steve complains.

And without missing a beat, you face him and say, "Fuck off, Rogers!" Bucky snorts.

"You're cranky when you haven't gotten laid."

You gasp as Bucky bursts out laughing right in your ear, but he quickly catches you as you try to lunge for his best friend. "You know what, I was going to be discreet when banging your best friend, but now I'm going to tell you all the filthy things Bucky likes to do just to annoy you. I will go into excruciating detail about the look and taste of his dick!"

Steve blanches as it's Wanda's turn to burst out laughing. "You've done it now, Steve."

And as Steve looks to Bucky for help, he merely shrugs. "You brought this on yourself, Stevie. Hope you enjoy the play by plays."

Relaxing in Bucky's hold and moving so you're hip to hip with him, you slide your arm behind his waist and hook your thumb into the belt loop of his jeans. "We're going to have so much fun."

[tuiccim]

Terrigenisis (Part 20)

Pairing: Stucky x Inhuman!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: After undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to life as a civilian. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild. As you hone your powers and skills, you must also decide if you can find home and love again. Or is your curse to be a lonely wanderer forever?

Warnings: Fluff, Smut (NSFW 18+)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Terrigenisis Series Masterlist

The following afternoon, the entire team is back at the compound and doing a team training session. You, Steve, and Bucky use the opportunity to announce your engagement. Your teammates are excited and hugs and well wishes surround you. 

“Can I be the flower girl?” Wanda jokes as she hugs you. 

“Dizzy’s already claimed that honor,” you laugh.

“Alright, alright! Let’s get to work. We need to be in perfect sync for the mission.” Steve redirects everyone’s attention. 

“You got it, Cap!” you salute him as you get into position. Two hours later, you break from the drills and begin to disburse when you pull up your phone. “What the hell?” you say as you see your social media had blown up with comments and messages. You pull up your feed and begin reading. You can feel the color drain from your face. 

“Doll, are you okay?” Bucky is the first to notice you frozen in shock. 

“I… the… I don’t understand.” You feel like throwing up reading the words whore, slut, and many other disgusting slurs left on your account. Bucky pulls your phone from your hand and looks at it. 

“What the fuck?” He yells.

Steve speeds over and looks at the phone that Bucky holds out to him. 

“I don’t understand,” you say again, trembling. Bucky puts his arms around you. 

“Uhhh, guys,” Tony says as he pulls up a video.

The spokesman for one of the biggest celebrity tabloids flashes a picture of Steve and Bucky on the screen and says, “Speculation has always run wild on the love life of Captain America, Steve Rogers, and The Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, but they’ve always kept it hush-hush. Now, a source close to the Avengers has come forward to give us the down and dirty details. Allegedly, our shield throwing hero doesn’t have just a girlfriend, but a boyfriend as well. Way to play both sides, Captain. We’ve been told that Captain America is dating none other than his two teammates, The Winter Soldier and Artemis, the newest member of the Avengers.”

“Artemis! The fuck?” you exclaim as a picture of the three of you is displayed on the screen. 

“Seen here at one of Tony Stark’s exclusive parties, the three have allegedly been dating for several months. But, according to our source, two men aren’t enough for the voracious Artemis, she’s also in a relationship with none other than the villainous Loki of Asgard,” the spokesman continues. Another picture from the party flashes up of you and Loki laughing together. Your stomach is rolling as this apparently isn’t the end of the slanderous story, “Artemis, an Inhuman with the skills of a linguist and animal trainer, joined the team a year ago and has apparently had her hooks in every man she’s come across since then. Our source claims she had affairs with Tony Stark, Clint Barton, and Sam Wilson before settling on the three she dates now. There is also some speculation surrounding the death of her first husband. Is she the real black widow of the Avengers?”

The video ends and you clutch your stomach, “I’m gonna be sick.” Running to the bathroom, you barely make it to the toilet before you lose your lunch. Bucky and Steve are right behind you. 

“Doll, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Bucky soothes as he rubs your back. 

You sit back against the wall and begin to sob. Steve pulls you into his lap and Bucky’s arms surround you both. 

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart. We’ll fix this.” Steve says as he rubs your back. 

“We’ll get through it, doll. Whatever we have to do. We won’t let this stand.” Bucky reassures you. 

When the sobs begin to subside, you look at the two of them and nod. They help you stand and you wash out your mouth. When you return, the team is still standing around together. 

“Okay, kids. Artie is on his way and formulating a plan as we speak to work this out. We’ll demand a retraction of the slander. The PR team is going through your social media and deleting and blocking any negative comments. There are several groups who are rallying behind you all and your relationship. We’ve got your back, kid.” Tony puts a hand on your shoulder and you nod weakly. 

Wanda hugs you and you nearly break down again. Natasha looks as if she’s plotting murder with Clint. You notice Sam is missing. 

“Let’s go to our room and rest until Artie gets here. It’ll probably be a long meeting.” Bucky suggests. 

“Yeah, okay,” you follow his lead out. Shortly after the three of you get to your room there’s a knock on the door. Steve opens it and lets Sam into the room. 

“I, uh… I’m so sorry.” Sam stutters uncharacteristically and can’t quite meet your eyes. 

“Kaziah,” you state.

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure. I’m so sorry. I swear I never said anything like that to her. I would never disrespect you like that.” Sam explains. 

“It’s not your fault, Sam,” you reassure him. 

“But I did tell her about you guys. And how you lost Charlie and became an Inhuman. I’m so sorry.” 

“You trusted her. I’m so sorry she betrayed you like that,” you hug Sam’s neck. “I know you must be so hurt that she did that. Maybe she was jealous about our torrid love affair.”

Sam breaks a smile, “I do have a way with the ladies.” 

“Your spirit is unbreakable. Already cracking jokes,” Steve puts his arms around you. 

“I think it’s laugh or cry at this point. I’d rather laugh. I’m sure there will be more tears later,” you say. “I need a shower.”

“That’s my cue to leave.” Sam quips. 

“Sam,” you call. 

“Can you tell Tony, please? He can probably find out for sure.” 

“Yeah. Of course.” Sam exits. 

“Alright, doll. Let’s get that shower.” Bucky pulls you into the bathroom. You stand under the spray minutes later with Bucky and Steve on each side of you. You wash each other gently, sharing soft touches and loving caresses. No matter what anyone ever says about your relationship and your love, you will never give up these two men. The loves of your life. 

Your stomach twists for a moment. Loving Steve and Bucky does not negate your love of Charlie. The accusation of killing him was what hurt more than anything else. If it hadn’t been for Terrigenisis you would still most likely be happily married to Charlie. It reaffirms to you that perhaps there really is a reason that everything happens. Which means there is a reason for this happening. You just couldn’t figure out what it was quite yet. 

“Team meeting in the conference room, immediately.” Friday chimes into your thoughts. 

Ten minutes later, the team is sitting around the conference table facing Artemus "Artie" Pithins, Director of Public Relations, and Tony. 

“We apparently have another Artemis now.” Artie chuckles as he greets you. 

“Wasn’t my decision but if it means I am as formidable as you I’m honored,” you smile as you shake Artie’s hand. 

“Charming under pressure. I love it. We’ll get through this.” Artie reassures you. When everyone is seated Artie addresses the team, “I’d like to begin by telling you all, we have confirmed the source of the leak and that person is being dealt with accordingly. Next, I give this story no credence, but I do need to go through it piece by piece to confirm what is truth and what is lies.”

“We understand.” Steve affirms.

“Are you in a polyamorous relationship as described?” Artie addresses Steve. 

“Yes,” Steve replies. 

“I see. Sgt. Barnes and our newly dubbed Artemis are your boyfriend and girlfriend?” Artie asks. 

“No, they’re my fiancees.” Steve counters. 

“Oh, Congratulations.” Artie’s wheels are turning as he continues down his list of questions. He turns to you next, “Are you in any type of relationship with Prince Loki Odinson?”

“He’s a close friend and my training partner,” you say calmly. 

“But no romantic relationship now or previously?” Artie confirms.

“No,” you reply. 

“Mr. Stark, are you now or have you ever been in a sexual relationship-”

“No, never.” Tony interrupts rolling his eyes. 

“Mr. Bar-”

“No,” Clint says curtly.

“Also, no.” Sam pipes in before the question can be asked. 

“And the last claim I won’t even dignify. That will be retracted with an apology if I have anything to say about it. I know this is not the most couth question but I need to ask. Have any of the three of you had a sexual relationship with another teammate?” Artie states.

“No,” the three of you say practically in unison. 

“Well, then I think we have the perfect solution already in the works. We’ll need the two of you to do a couple of interviews to dispel the rumors and we’ll use that time to also announce the wedding of Captain America and Artemis.” Artie smiles at you. 

“You mean the three of us, Captain America, The Winter Soldier, and Artemis,” you say. 

“The polyamorous relationship is not going to play well, but if we can shift the story from that relationship to the romance that grew out of you joining the team and throw a spectacular wedding, we’ll have nothing to worry about it,” Artie explains.

“No,” you say, looking between Steve and Bucky. 

“Let’s reconvene in two hours. Take the time to discuss it. You have a lot to consider.” Artie closes the meeting. 

Back in your room, you sit on the couch with your head in your hands. 

“Doll?” Steve sits beside you and puts a hand on your back. 

You look up at him, “Do you want to go through with this charade? Leave Bucky out of the ceremony? Everything this entails?”

“I’m pretty sure I’d be best man in Stevie’s wedding no matter what,” Bucky tries to lighten the mood. 

“You should be a groom in it, baby,” you counter.

“I know, I know, doll,” Bucky sits on the other side of you, “But it’d just be a show for the public. We can have a ceremony with just our friends after. Or before. However you want.”

“Is that what you think, Stevie?” you ask.

“Here’s what I’m thinking…”

Part 21

Tuiccim’s Masterlist

Updates and taglist: Due to the unreliable nature of tags, I no longer keep a taglist. Updates for series are made weekly. Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction​​ and turn on notifications for updates. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when a new part or story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Into The Unknown, Part 11

First

Previous

Marinette was going to kill Tim.

His alarm had been going off for about three minutes now and she was going to kill him.

She sighed and finished the wing of her eyeliner and poked her head out of the bathroom to Definitely Not Curse In Front Of A Baby.

His phone was facedown and threatening to buzz itself off of the kitchen table.

She rolled her eyes and walked over to silence it, then looked around for the person who, for some reason, didn’t do that.

Tim… looked like he might already be dead?

He was still in bed, but he had also pulled all the blankets off of the corners in order to cocoon himself properly. She hesitantly glanced back at Damian, who was currently pretending to put makeup on the plush cat’s (named ‘Cat’, of course, she was beginning to sense a theme here) face. Alright, he was distracted for at least a little while.

She made her way over to Tim and, after tossing his phone onto the bedside table because she wasn’t actually sure whether she had pressed snooze or cancel, sat next to him. “Tim? You alright?”

He groaned a little and attempted to roll his cocoon away from her. It wasn’t really working. The blankets were holding him down. He had been betrayed by what he loved.

Marinette sighed and reached a hand out to feel his forehead.

Not too warm but definitely a little feverish.

She shook her head slightly and walked over to the medicine cabinet. Damian watched her with interest, green eyes wide. She flashed the kid a smile to say everything was okay -- even if it might not be from the looks of things -- and then pulled a pill bottle from the shelf. Tim had brought his meds over from the other world and she had assumed that he had made sure to give himself a prescription in this world while he was making their identities but...

Yep. He needed a refill.

“Dumbass,” she murmured, shaking her head as she put it back.

She pulled out her phone and checked to make sure that she could bring Damian to work even as an intern… yep! At least that was good.

She sighed and looked over at Tim, who had barely moved outside of pulling his phone into the cocoon. It wasn’t on, no light was emanating from it, apparently he just wanted to have it with him. Maybe it was like a stuffed animal for him, she joked mentally.

...

She sighed. Man, it was hard to tease him when he looked like that.

(… because it was too easy, obviously. What other reasons were there?)

Fine. She’d save it all up for later. For now she could be… nice-ish.

“Got a favorite tea?”

He mumbled more incoherently than Damian for a few moments before managing to choke out: “Coffee.”

She resisted the urge to flick him on the forehead and instead just got up to make him some lemon and ginger tea. Because even the most basic of bitches can’t hate lemon and ginger tea.

When she started back over Damian saw her walk past and made a quiet sound in the back of his throat to get her attention. He reached his hands out for her. She sighed and clumsily pulled him out of the high chair with one arm and positioned him on her hip.

Marinette set the tea on the bedside table. Tim glared at her for a moment and then looked pointedly at the drink.

“When you get better I’ll brew you coffee myself, but you need to at least try and be healthy until you heal up,” she promised with only minimal eye rolling.

“Not what I’m mad about,” he said, still looking at the drink as if he could will it to… be right or something.

“... do you want sugar or cream or...?” She asked once it became clear he was trying to make her guess.

“Coaster,” he said.

She groaned and quickly found one. She threw it down far harsher than was strictly necessary. Tim was worse than her mom about coasters. Let her ruin the furniture, damn it!

By the time she had gotten back Damian had started trying to crawl into the cocoon and, while the idea of the baby trying to heal Tim via cuddles was very cute, Marinette had to pull him away. Babies don’t have immune systems yet, she was pretty sure. Putting him around a sick Tim was basically asking to end up with two sick idiots to take care of.

Damian squirmed in her hands, trying to free himself so he could get back to Tim. “Bu… Nano!”

Tim smiled weakly and reached a hand out to rest on top of Damian’s head. “It’s fine, kiddo. Just gonna… sleep a little.”

“And you’re going to be coming with me to work! Doesn’t that sound fun?” She asked in her sweetest voice.

Damian scowled. “Nano.”

“‘Nano’ needs sleep,” she tried again.

Damian shook his head. Marinette glanced at the time and cringed. Alright. Looks like there’s no time to do this in a gentle way.

She glanced at Kaalki. “Lock the door behind me?”

Kaalki looked up. She had… put a portal on the ceiling on the floor and was, apparently, trying to see how fast she could get the empty water bottle to fall before it started to melt.

The kwami shrugged. Marinette was going to take it as a yes.

She allowed Damian to get one last hug from Tim while she slipped on her shoes and gathered everything she’d need for the day... and then she grabbed him and sprinted out the door before the kid could get too angry.

… and so, screaming baby in her arms, she ran to catch the train.

The crying didn’t stop for a long time. Or maybe it was only five minutes. It still felt like forever. It was the first time Damian was really away from Tim (when she was taking care of Damian Tim was still in the house and able to get there at any point, so those times didn’t really count) in almost three months. Of course the kid was freaking out.

… he was definitely going to freak out even more when he realized that Marinette was leaving, too.

Was it too late to call in sick for work?

Probably.

Well, it was going to have to happen eventually.

She groaned a little to herself and hugged Damian closer in her lap, chin resting on top of his head. The subway was interesting to him, it seemed. That was fair. Public transportation is weird. There was a guy doing stripper moves on one of the poles and Marinette was hardly even phased. At least Damian was enjoying it, clapping excitedly and yelling “raqs!” at the ‘performer’.

But, all too soon, she reached her stop. She waved to the man with Damian and then carried him out to her job.

There was a lot of paperwork involved with signing a kid up for daycare. She didn't know why this surprised her, but it did. It was a pain, too. Remembering all the fake birth dates and names and affiliations that they had come up with. She had been tempted to pull up her cheat sheet on her phone but she was scared that would make her look like an incompetent parent -- or worse, like she was faking the entire thing and wasn’t even biologically or legally related to the kid.

It was an irrational fear, she knew, but damn was it prevalent.

So, she just glared at the papers. She could see Damian doing the same from where he had sat himself down on the table, occasionally glancing over to make sure that this was still what they were doing. It was kind of cute. It was very hard to remain angry through that.

She nuzzled her nose against his cheek, smiling at the little giggles he gave.

She went back to the paperwork in considerably lighter spirits. Once she had finally filled out all the vaccination records (and made a mental note to actually try and figure out how many vaccines the kid had, if any) she sighed and turned to the kid.

“Alrighty, I gotta go to work, Dami.”

Damian didn’t understand much English yet, a byproduct of suddenly being introduced to the language after a year of only being spoken to in Arabic, but he certainly understood what those words meant: she was about to leave him.

And it wasn’t like he didn’t cry a little when she left every day, the little sniffles and pleading looks weren’t at all new to her. But, now that Tim wasn’t there, he was full-on wailing. He crawled to the edge of the table, towards her, and she had to lunge to catch him before he fell…

But apparently this was the plan, because he instantly fisted his little hands in her shirt and curled up in her arms.

… damn. How was she supposed to just leave when he was like this…?

She held him tighter, nuzzling her face in his hair. “It’s just a little while, Dami. I’ll be back. I’ll come back. Sa’aeud. I’ll be back.”

Damian buried himself closer in her shirt and she sighed, looking up at the poor daycare worker.

“I’m sorry…”

“First time you’re leaving him with someone else?” The woman said with a kind smile. Her name was Ava, according to her name tag.

Marinette nodded helplessly. Damian had wrapped his little legs around her. His grip was surprisingly strong. It would definitely take a lot of effort to pry the kid off. If she walked over to her boss he could see the situation and he might give her the day off, he was just a few floors away, she should at least try --.

Ava knelt down next to her and reached a hand for Damian.

Slowly, reluctantly, Marinette opened her arms so the woman could detach Damian from her.

“All kids are like this the first few times. Think of it as a compliment: he thinks you’re safe.”

Marinette nodded slightly and helped pull one of Damian’s hands from her shirt. Damian stopped crying to look up at her, eyes wide and glassy with tears, and then he started crying harder, she hadn’t even thought that that was possible --.

Ava managed to pull Damian off of Marinette and, while the kid was still, he was still hiccuping he was crying so hard.

Marinette gave him a sad smile. “It’ll be okay, Dami. ‘ant bi’aman. Sa’aeud.”

He didn’t look like he believed her assurances.

“Mar-ree?” He tried, one last time, reaching one little hand out for her.

She gently took the hand, pressing a kiss into his palm. “I gotta go to work, Dami.”

Damian’s hand dropped.

Ava gave her a tiny smile and knocked shoulders with her. “Cheer up. You did everything right by saying you’ll come back to him. Say that every time and, eventually, he’ll start to believe you.”

She nodded. She wasn’t happy about it, though. She just watched Damian cry as he was taken into the daycare room until Ava had the sense to close the door.

… when she came back at the end of the day, Damian was enjoying himself.

He was playing a game with Ava. Ava would try and build something with blocks and he would wait until he had determined that she was almost done before knocking it over. What an asshole. She loved him.

She smiled faintly and waved at him when he noticed her. He instantly lit up, pushing himself up onto shaky feet and toddling (wait, is that why they’re called toddlers?!) over to her. He was getting better at walking. He managed to get three-fourths of the way across the room before he fell to his knees and crawled the rest of the way. She smiled and picked him up, nuzzling her nose against his cheek.

“Hey, Dami.”

“Mar-ree! Hi!”

Aw, he learned what ‘hi’ means! She thought but she wasn’t going to say that aloud.

“Make any friends?” She said instead.

Damian stared at her with wide eyes. She smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

Ava gave her a tiny smile as she walked over. “Sorry, but I do have to ask for ID.”

“... you saw me drop him off… literally this morning?”

“Yeah, I know. Just protocol,” she said, giving an apologetic smile.

Marinette shrugged a little and nodded, carefully shifting Damian to one arm so she could do that. She also had to fill out a little paper that asked for a review of their services and any suggestions. Marinette wrote the words ‘pay the people more’, because taking care of one kid was stressful enough, she couldn’t imagine taking care of multiple at the same time, no amount of money would be enough to convince her to do that.

After she had signed every form that needed signing, she was free to leave.

And so, a good two hours after she usually left work, she started on the commute home with her kid.

Damian enjoyed the ride home even more than the ride there. The person that had been sitting next to Marinette had brought a sketchbook along and, when Damian had watched with that wide-eyed baby stare, had given him a piece of paper and pencil so he could do some work of his own.

Damian presented Marinette with a bunch of scribbles halfway through the ride, beaming widely.

“Tell me about your work,” she said jokingly.

Damian seemed to get it, because he took the paper from her and started babbling along and pointing to different areas as he explained what his thought process was.

(And, if Marinette missed her stop so he could talk longer, well, no one had to know.)

~~~~~

Next

@unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff @toodaloo-kangaroo

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (14/15)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.4k words

Warning : angst, sad reader, angry reader, dumbass Bucky, Steve being likable for once, smartass Sam, reader finally having some friends, mention of assault, confrontation, drinking, fluff, Bec is Bucky’s sister - Rebecca

Unlike you, Bucky remembered everything. He could never forget that you were hurt because of him — tied to a chair for hours while he couldn't save you — crying on the bathroom floor as he held you. The only thing common in all of those instances was him. You had to go through shit because of him, and yet, you still didn't blame him. You wrapped your arm around him as if he wasn't the cause of your pain. It was clear that his past and the baggage that he came with didn’t bother you. In fact, you understood and accepted his trauma and still loved him. You didn't love him despite his baggage. No, you loved him with every bad thing he offered.

Bucky was sure you were delusional. No sane woman would want to be with the man who was responsible for her captivity, yet you snuggled closer towards him the moment this thought occurred in his head. And Bucky loved you more because of that, and he thought he wasn't physically capable of loving you more than he already did. Bucky knew you reciprocated those feelings, it was very obvious that both of you were a goner for the other. Nevertheless, those emotions were not voiced out loud in your relationship yet. And Bucky wanted it to stay that way.

Bucky decided to sneak out of your bed and house before you could wake up. He was aware it was cowardly of him to just leave without giving you an explanation. But if he stayed to explain, you would have asked him to stay, and he didn't have it in himself to tell you no. You were the ray of sunshine in his stormy life and he could never say no to you. You could ask him to get you the sun, and he would get it for you, even after knowing that it would kill him and the humankind in the process. He would still do it.

But what he couldn’t do was refuse you, so he would have to leave you instead.

***

You woke up a bit disoriented, unaware of the surroundings you were in. It took you a minute to process that you were in your own house and not held captive. Once you came back to your senses instinctively you called for Bucky. He held you while you slept the previous night, so he had to be out in the kitchen. When no response came back, you went out to check for him, only to be met with an empty house.

When you tried to contact him, Bucky was distant. He didn’t respond to your texts and your mind was telling you that something was wrong, but you shoved those thoughts sideways, hoping that maybe he was busy with work. But you both went through something traumatic, you needed him to be with you. If he were busy, he could have at least texted you.

Well, if he was going to ignore you, then you wouldn't be one of those people whose life revolved around their partner. You had a book to write and ambitions that didn’t involve him. 

Two hours later, when there was no word from him, you stared at the blank  screen on your computer. You weren’t unfamiliar with writer's block, but it had been months and you haven't written a single line since the incident in the club involving Rumlow. And now that you were alone with your thoughts, you started doubting everything. Should you have stayed in that corporate 9 to 5 job? You'd have a stable life and a fixed salary. Maybe you could have even got a promotion. Should you have filed a complaint against Rumlow? Bucky wanted you to, he even assured you the cops would be on your side, but you just weren't ready. You realized that by choosing to remain silent, you were sending a predator out in the world. He could do that to other people and you could have stopped it.

A knock on the front door interrupted your train of thoughts and you were grateful for the person on the other side. You assumed it was Bucky, he didn’t need to buzz in because he literally owned the building. Well, it could also be any one of his friends. Sam and Steve also didn't need permission . And the other day when Peter came by to give you your phone (you left it in the club), he didn't buzz in either. 

Seeing Wanda, Peter and Pietro on the door was a good change and God, you needed a change or else you'd go mad with self-loathing. 

“We brought pizza,” Wanda exclaimed, lifting the bag in her hand to show you.

You didn't say anything, just smiled at them thankfully. You were really delighted they were here. Not only that, but you didn't have many friends here, and you considered your work friends, your only friends. It was nice to see that they saw you as a friend too and not just someone they work with.

“And beers,” Pietro chimed in, raising the carton in his hand. 

You looked at Peter before teasing, “Is he even legal, guys?”

Seeing you joke around with them made Wanda happy. Between all the testosterone, she truly needed a female friend, and she was relieved to see you treating them as friends rather than colleagues. And she understood the trauma that must haunt you since your kidnapping. She was an empath and when you didn’t show up at work, she grew worried. 

Half an hour later, most of you were on your second beer. Pietro was on his fourth. That man was fast at everything he did. A movie was playing in the background that none of you paid attention to while everyone was settled on your couch. It wasn't a very spacious couch, you were all squashed into it, but it was too comfortable to leave. You were sitting in between Peter and Wanda, while Pietro was situated beside his sister.

You forgot how nice it felt to have friends and bitch about people to them.

“And just like that he was gone. I woke up and he wasn't there,” you told them, “Hasn't been taking my calls either.”

Pietro took a sip of his drink before saying, “What an ass!”

Wanda raised her bottle, nudging all of you to join her, and said, “Fuck men!” 

“Amen!” you agreed, Peter and Pietro nodded too.

“You should focus on your book,” Pietro advised, “Bucky is gonna regret if he loses someone like you, babe.”

The book. Your book. You couldn't tell them why you weren't focused on the book. It was still a lot to process, and you were not ready, so you nodded before chanting, “Fuck Bucky!”

***

“What are you doing here?” Sam questioned as he and his husband entered the  office.

“Last I checked, I own this place.”

Sam huffed, “I meant why are you here instead of her place, smartass?”

Bucky looked around to avoid the questioning gaze of both Sam and Steve. He hadn’t talked to Steve since the argument they had over you. Of course, they did discuss business as usual, but nothing related to their personal life.

 “She doesn't need me,'' Bucky murmured and looked at Steve. “You must be pleased to know that it's over.”

Bewilderment was clear on the faces of both the men because Bucky exhaled loudly before continuing, “I almost got her killed. It would be wise and safe for her to not be with me.”

Steve finally spoke, “Did she say that?”

When his best friend shook his head ‘no’, Steve sighed in exasperation. “You are an idiot.”

“Yeah, well, that's what you wanted, didn't you?” Bucky retorted, “For me to focus on work and not on her.”

 “I was clearly wrong, pal,” Steve raised his hand in exasperation as if it was obvious, “And I’m sorry for that.” 

“Well, it's over now.”

***

“Before I met Nat. I dated a girl who pretended to be gay,” Wanda scrunched her nose, remembering the awful memory.

“Oh yeah, weird Sallie,” Pietro smiled teasingly, “Did you guys know that when Wanda brought her home, she hit on our dad?”

 “No!” Both you and Peter cried out, stupefied at his words.

“Yeah,” Wanda outlined, “And on Pietro too.”

 “I mean, Mr. Barnes is not like this,” Peter brought the conversation back to Bucky and you sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sure he had a good reason for doing all of this.”

“Seriously?” you were pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to talk about Bucky. You looked at Wanda and Pietro for support, but they shrugged their shoulders in a manner that said, ‘He's not wrong, though.’

You wanted to go to bed and sleep. But you knew they were right. Bucky would never hurt you intentionally, you knew that. “Do you guys know where he is now?”

***

Since trying to talk some sense into Bucky wasn't working, Sam and Steve retaliated back to talk about business.

“Clint is officially out of here,” Steve reported, “Torturing him would just create more ruckus. Rumlow is behind us because he wants his weapons in the government, and Clint would just be a casualty in all this shit. He has three kids.”

Sam huffed, “We told Laura. Her wrath would be worse for Clint than our fists.”

Bucky didn't say anything and just nodded. Steve could feel something was on Bucky's mind, wrapping his arms to his chest, he raised a brow towards his best friend.

“I’m just tired of all of this,” Bucky said sadly, “Is this what we left Rumlow for, pal? You have a kid at home, Wanda has a wife, I have ma and Bec and I haven't met them in years, in fear of someone following me. And now — Well, now I’ve lost the girl too."

Steve and Sam looked at their friend with sympathy. They knew the toll their work took on all of them. Hell, they had a four-year-old daughter at home, and could barely sleep at night, always terrified of losing their kid because of their job.

Sam was about to ask Bucky to suggest an alternative that would help all of them could to make it out of there and just work on the club and not some shady business. Suddenly, the office door flung open and on purpose, everyone’s hand reached for the gun in their waistband. But in walked you with a beer bottle in your hand and a pizza slice in another.

“JAMES BUCKY BARNES!” You exclaimed, your steps wavering a little as you walked towards him. Oh, and you looked royally pissed.

Instantly, Bucky was on his feet and making his way towards you, to hold you — to be near you. And before you could say anything, he was engulfing his arms around your waist, his head settled at the crane of your neck and you frowned. Okay, You did not expect that. You thought he would ignore you, and you would give him a piece of your mind before leaving.

Sober you would have asked him to have a mature conversation like adults, but tipsy you wanted to flip him off and leave. Your arms hung around your sides awkwardly, trying to understand the situation before finally pushing him away.

“You left me,” you spoke so softly that if Bucky wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard it. “I needed you and you left me alone.”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words. He didn't consider how his rash decision would affect you. You were kidnapped by the person who assaulted you. Fuck, he cursed himself. He was supposed to be protecting you, not hurting you. You sounded so hurt that Bucky wanted to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. He was so focused on your physical injuries, he did not even realize he was hurting you emotionally.

Steve cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable to present. He interrupted and took his husband’s hand in his, “We’re going to go.”

Before they could leave, you shifted your attention towards Steve and pointed a finger at him. “Why do you hate me?”

Steve stammered, he didn't expect you to put him in a spot like this, but you had a tad more than necessary liquid courage in your system.

“Doll,” Bucky breathed, and you moved your gaze back towards him. Steve took the opportunity and left the room with Sam.

You were on the verge of tears by now — both of you were — Bucky wasn't a man who could voice his feelings, but with you, all of his armor came shattering down. With you — he would tell you his vulnerabilities and fears just so he could let you in. You meant so much to him that the fear of losing you blinded his sense of understanding. He realized that he acted immaturely and by doing so, he almost lost you.

“You hurt me,” Your voice wavered, the traitorous tears made their way down your eyes, and Bucky couldn't see you like that. Instinctively, he stretched his hands to wrap around you, but stopped, “Can I hold you?”

You sniffled and nodded, and Bucky engulfed you flush against his chest. After a while, you snaked your hands around his shoulder too, and a sob broke down from your throat.

He didn't remember how long he held you like this, but after a while, he picked you up and made his way to the couch. He stood before you and then slid one hand up to your cheek. Likewise, he brushed his thumb across your cheek. And then you slowly straddled his waist as you both settled down on the soft sofa. Bucky’s hands fell naturally to your hips to pull you closer.

“I love you, Bucky,” you whispered, once your tears suspended. You enveloped your arms around him and pressed your forehead against his.

Bucky didn’t know whether you meant it or not. You were pretty drunk. He hoped you did.

“I love you, doll,” he confessed as he kissed the crown of your head. He noticed that you were on the brink of sleep, your breathing even, and you looked so peaceful in his arms.

 He felt at ease — calm even with you in his arms and in that moment he decided he was never letting you go no matter what.

TAGS :  @bananapipedreams​ @akkinda10​ @rivers-rambles21​ @emmabarnes​ @valsworldofcreativity​ @boofy1998​ @marvel-3407​ @mybuck​ @priii​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @ladydmalfoy​ @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @elizamalfoyy​ @maladaptivexxdaydreaming​ @sabrinathesimp

Taglist for future stuff.

[hyunnows]

Hi Tee umm i hope this is not 18+ cuz idk but could u make a scenario with any bts member where your both aroung 12/13ish and you get your first period without knowing much about that topic and they help you out abit can you like make them your brother or best friend or something tysm ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つYou can ignore this if want cuz i know some people get uncomfortable with this sort of stuff! but if u r gonna make it could you make it cute and fluffy tysm ╰(*°▽°*)╯☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)¯\_(ツ)_/¯(¬‿¬)(^///^) :-)

preteen problems | kth

► PAIRING(S): Taehyung x reader

► CONTENT/WARNINGS: fluff, crack, relatable embarrassment, periods, mentions of blood/bleeding, preteen!reader, preteen!Taehyung, best friends!au, implied platonic friendship

► WORD COUNT: 1.3k+

► RATING: pg(13?)

► SUMMARY: you just got your first period at your best friend's house–but fortunately for you, he's your bestie for a reason.

► BTS TAGLIST: @imbonibi @fangirl125reader @geniejunn

► REC: sugar sugar | lee felix

► A/N: the way I felt bad for [Y/N] here, but thankfully, Taehyung's a good friend. I hope you enjoy, anon <3 and all of you reading! If you do, please like and reblog, I read all the tags that my post get reblogged with so feel free to write your reviews! Also ik i have to update my hyunjin series but tbh i have other works ti finish first so that's a bit more of a side project now. Have a wonderful day/night!

Positive note | Navigation | Taglist

Your stomach had been killing you all day, stabbing pains and aching legs making it hard to stand, sit—do anything, really. You’d even gone to the nurse, but all she’d done was give you an ice pack and told you to go on with your day. Finally, after seven long hours of school and one of packing and biking to Taehyung’s house, you were free.

It was fantastic—despite the minor pains you attributed to the horrible cafeteria food you’d eaten earlier—until you stood up, catching sight of your gray—now red-tinted—sweats, face draining of color when you realize what’s happened.

You attempt to sneak away from Taehyung, pulling your t-shirt lower than it was meant to be worn, and waddle towards the restroom when Taehyung yells. “[Y/N], are you bleeding?” Damn, you forgot your shirt was white and worn out—meaning it wasn’t hiding the color at all.

“I-I,” you sputter, mortified. This was not happening to you.

“[Y/N] are you dying? Why didn’t you tell me?” Taehyung panicked, tears welling up in his large eyes.

You shake your head vigorously, “I’m not dying! Don’t cry!” Reassuring your best friend as you hide your face in embarrassment.

He pulls out an extra pair of gym shorts and hands you your overnight bag, before pulling out his phone, ready to dial up the nearest hospital. “Then what’s happening? I don’t know what you’ve heard, but that much blood seems like dying to me—”

Running to the bathroom, you take the bag, the shorts, and snatch his phone away, shutting the door and leaning against the sink in embarrassment. Of course, you knew what was happening the moment you saw the blood on your sweatpants—but you hoped you could sneak off without Tae noticing.

The door rattles with harsh knocks, and you wonder how his thin arms can produce such force. Of all times that you could get your first period, it had to be at his house? “Hey! Give me my phone and get out here so I can call a hospital or something!”

Quickly changing into a fresh set of underwear—this time with a pad on, thankfully—and his basketball shorts, you discard the tarnished pair of clothing you never wanted to see again, wrapping it in a trash bag and washing your hands. Taehyung continues his pleas, his arms growing tired from the knocking and trying to ram the door open—thankfully, he hadn’t hit puberty yet and hasn’t accumulated the muscle mass to do that yet.

With flushed cheeks and trash bag in hand, you finally unlock the door. Your head hangs low, and Taehyung puts his hands on either side of your face, lifting it so your shame-filled eyes meet his teary, terrified ones. “What’s going on? Are you actually going to die?”

“No! I just…” You take a deep breath. You two were almost thirteen now, he was mature enough to understand, right? “I got my period.”

He curls a brow at you in confusion, because he was pretty sure a period was a type of punctuation and not a reason to be bleeding from your behind. “Your what?” His worried tone is still evident as he opens the front door for you.

“It’s something that happens to girls—wait, don’t you have a sister? Shouldn’t you know about this stuff from her and your mom?” You tilt your head at him, throwing the trash bag you hoped nobody ever saw the inside of into the dumpster.

He shakes his head, “My sister is, like, eight, and I’ve never seen this happen to her. I’ve never seen that happen to my mom either. Plus, I’m a boy. Why would they tell me about something that only happens to girls?”

You’re about to tell him how he should know from health class, but you know Taehyung doesn’t pay attention, and even if he did, that section was only for girls anyway. Besides, you haven’t seen your mother bleed into her shorts either, so his argument was understandable. “It just means I’m becoming a woman. Y’know, puberty?”

“Ohh,” he drags out the O sound, emphasizing his realization. “Geez, why didn’t you just say that instead of scaring me half to death?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Tae! You’re a boy, you don’t understand what to do or why it happens, I barely do! It’s just really weird to talk about with you,” your cheeks are even redder than before, and you make a run for the couch as soon as you get back inside, covering yourself with a blanket and pillow.

He locks up—neither of you wanted to explain how or why his house got robbed while his parents were away, with you two inside—and joins you on the beat-up sofa. Tugging the blanket off your face, he flashes his boxy grin, “Hey, we’re best friends, you don’t need to be embarrassed to tell me stuff that’s normal. I mean, I would tell you if I started bleeding from my but-”

“Yah!” You scream, covering your ears and kicking him, flustered and repulsed.

He just laughs, “Hey! I would, and you would understand because you’re my best friend,” you nod, “By the way, does that hurt? Do you need something?”

You nod shyly, “My stomach still hurts, I guess now we know why.” You pause for a moment, thinking of what could ease your painful cramps before a lightbulb goes off in your head. “Oh hey, you know those water-bag things we heat up sometimes in the winter? Can you get me one?”

He doesn’t know why you would need that, but he nods anyway, tucking the blanket under your feet so it doesn’t roll off of them as he stands. When he comes back, his hands are occupied by a book-sized hot bottle with cute cartoon characters printed on it. “What’s this gonna do for you?”

You take it quickly, applying it to your lower stomach, and sighing in relief. “Oh my gosh, thank you, Taehyung. When this time of the month—yeah I know right, every month seems way too often—when it comes around, it'll make my stomach hurt a lot, and the hot bottle makes it feel so much better.”

He makes a sound of realization and realizes that about once a month for a week, his mom is extra irritable, and he remembers your uncharacteristic bashfulness earlier and connects the dots. “Is that why my mom gets so moody? Oh my gosh, no wonder! That must hurt a lot,” his soft, sympathetic eyes trained on you. “I’m gonna get you ice cream really quick—my dad always does that when my mom is feeling bad.”

Perhaps Taehyung was more mature than you thought, you muse. Had you told Jungkook or even Jin, the two of them would have certainly laughed at you a bit, and then freaked out for a good thirty minutes, before calling Namjoon who would actually know what to do.

Taehyung comes back a few seconds later, ice cream tub and spoons in hand as he settles himself beside you, urging you to sit up and join him in a feast neither of your parents would approve of. “Let me know if you need anything else. I have to take care of you, since you’re my best friend,” his eyes crinkling on his small, soft face. Who would’ve known class-clown, silly, scrawny little Taehyung was more of a man than the ninth graders in the year above you two.

“Thank you for being the best friend a girl could ask for, Tae,” you mumble, nuzzling into his shoulder and diving into the already half-eaten tub of ice cream.

He puts a dot of ice cream on your nose, smiling when it scrunches in disgust, “Of course. I know you would do the same for me.” Clicking play on the movie that had been paused and forgotten when this little fiasco started. 

He brought you more blankets, teddy bears, anything he could recall his dad doing for his mom when she wasn’t feeling well–including some chicken he tried his hardest to prepare. You wonder how you got so lucky... and why Taehyung seemed to observe his parents so much to the point he knew how to take care of you better than yourself, despite not knowing what a period was the same day (perhaps he texted Namjoon for help). Heck, he even managed to find a stash of pads, iron pills, and painkillers in his mom’s restroom for you.

You ended up falling asleep with each other’s feet in the other’s face, a surrounded by tissues from the crying you did during the movies you watched, blankets that covered you both head-to-toe, plates he’d brought you, and whatever else he scavenged to find for you.

His caring nature didn’t stop him from teasing you about how embarrassed you were the day after.

Positive note | Navigation | Taglist

► REC: sugar sugar | lee felix

[pickletickle10001]

BTS X Pregnant Male Reader Head cannon

TW: if you don’t like pregnant male ff I suggest you don’t read this

________________\_\\___

Namjoon:

At first when you told namjoon you were pregnant he couldn’t believe it, he cried and gave you a hug.

Namjoon developed a habit of stroking your stomach hoping it would sooth the pain.

It was only after the 2nd trimester that you guys decided to tell the rest of the members and ARMY. When the members found out they were hysteric, jhope lifted you into the air and spun you round scaring namjoon and yoongi “ya! Don’t lift him up he’s pregnant!”

ARMY’s found out kinda late. At first they were confused because namjoon didn’t appear much on vlives, interviews etc. Many people thought that he was either sick or in a secret love affair but all negative rumours were dejected when the news of your pregnancy swept news outlets.

Namjoon hates to see you sick, it makes him sad to see the love of his life struggle to even wake up and get out of bed without having a breakdown or being sick.

The worst part was when you finally realised that you were pregnant, of course you knew before but reality hit you hard. Namjoon tried his best by giving you support, hugging, kissing and buying you food.

Jin:

When Jin found out you were pregnant he wasn’t so surprised after all he saw sutle hints in your behaviour that suggested something was going on; like for example you stopped drinking alcohol and didn’t practise dancing as much as you used to.

At first he thought that you were just out of it or maybe even having a midlife crisis, but eventually he just ignored it hoping that one day you might tell him what happened.

A big thing that Jin definitely struggled with was sex, how could he even begin to think about the pregnancy when your body looked like a mosaic. He even went through a period where he couldn’t take it anymore so he spent the night at the shared apartment the BTS members had. To be honest you found the whole ordeal funny as hell.

You guys would go and visit his parents every weekend spending a ridiculous amount of money on anything related to babies.

One of the many thing you and Jin joked about was what the baby would look like and Jin always insisted that the baby would be world wide handsome 2.0.

Yoongi:

Yoongi was a bit sceptical, after all you guys had plenty of moments when you thought that you were pregnant but after you guys went to the hospital for a check up it was clear that he was overjoyed.

Your occasional movie nights became more of a snuggle time after all drinking a glass of rosé was not something you could do anymore and when you asked to watch a horror movie Yoongie said no, he was worried that it might frighten the baby.

It was quite an irrational fear but that’s why you fell in love with him in the first place, and also why you thought that the pregnancy journey would be quite interesting.

He also halted any music productions so he could be with you more when you were sick or had bad headaches.

Jimin:

When you told jimin he started crying and gave you kiss saying how happy he was that your giving him a chance to be a father.

He immediately rang his mum and told her, she was screaming with excitement. The next day you guys woke up to a parcel full of baby clothes and toys from her.

Jimin started to video everything from what food you were eating to the rare moments you practiced your singing.

The one thing that made him worry the most was morning sickness, each time you wake up and sprint to bathroom his heart melts but the worst part is when you start crying.

He would go everywhere with you trying to see if anything is wrong or if you didn’t feel alright, but you reminded him every time that everything was fine.

Jhope:

Jhope was surprisingly a lot more calmer during your pregnancy but you soon found out that is was because he was secretly hoping for a baby to join the family.

He would always ask you to smell the food just in case you wouldn’t eat it, after all people’s scenes get heightened when their pregnant.

He started to record videos of him dancing so he could show the baby when it was old enough.

Jhope loved decorating the nursery. He would spend countless hours just trying to find the perfect shade of grey that would match the crib that he had found on a baby website. Most things (if not all) in the nursery were either made or bought by jhope. Of course you also contributed but jhope insisted that it was alright after all your doing the hardest amount of work.

Taehyung:

Taehyung told his mum and dad straight after you told him you were pregnant. He absolutely loved the news.

He would constantly brag to friends and family about how cute the baby was gonna be and how your still so beautiful even during pregnancy.

His mum would also start staying over more just because she didn’t quite think taehyung understood the process of pregnancy so she would tell him things he needed to do and say.

He was always nervous especially when he was with the other members practicing, he was always thinking about the worst possible outcomes that he sometimes just drove home in the middle of practice just to make sure everything was alright.

He didn’t appear in many interviews because he simply didn’t like the idea of bieng far away form you, so the only way to get him to actually work was if you were hiding on set.

Jungkook:

Jungkook was overjoyed by the news. After all he had sweet spot for babies. now, he was having one of his own.

He instantly started suggesting names for the baby, if you were going to be honest he was probably more excited that you.

He would always take you out to fancy restaurant and if he really wanted to spoil you he would rent out the restaurant so there where no distractions.

Every time you would wake up with morning sickness he would go and sit on the bathroom floor with you just stroking your hair and rubbing your back.

In interviews he always talked about how sad it made him feel when you were uncomfortable after all having a massive belly with something as delicate as a baby wasn’t the easiest thing ( especially since you were a man)

He bought you countless of maternity clothes and even went as far to purposely look scruffy so you wouldn’t feel insecure about your looks.

———————————//-The End~~~~

I hope you enjoyed this 😁 pls suggest more by messaging me!!!!

[elizabeethan]

Watch the Sunlight Fade: 14 / 17

Emma Swan finds out that her boyfriend has been hiding something from her: he’s in a gang and trying to get out. Reluctantly, she decides to support him, sticking it out with him until they have enough money to flee to Florida. All she has to do is wait and ignore that feeling in her gut that something is seriously wrong. With the help of a kind and handsome stranger, she just might make it out alive.

Or, alternate summary: I’m horrible at summaries, please just read it.

Something of a cross between a What Still Remains AU and a Sons of Anarchy AU.

A/N: Here comes the whump!! There's a good amount of violence in this chapter (well, not really, but it's more than I've ever written). As always, if you need more details you can message me!

Rated M

Get added to my tag list

Read the Rest

Read my Other Stuff

Read on Ao3

~~~~

“Hello, hard worker,” she hears from the door as it creeps open. Looking up from the blank screen, she smiles at Tink. 

 “Hi,” she greets in return. “How are you?” 

 Tink gives her a smirk and chuckles. “Probably not as good as you are.” Emma’s eyes widen and her cheeks turn hot at the implication. She doesn’t even know what Tink is implying, but she does know that she’s pretty experienced in all things related to sex, so her assumtion probably has some backing. “I’m not gonna say anything,” she finally consoles. 

 “You know?”

 She moves into the room, the door already shut as she makes her way for the chair Killian usually sits in. “He didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re worried about. But when he mentioned leaving, and when he mentioned getting you out, specifically… It was obvious.” 

 “Oh,” Emma nods, biting her bottom lip into her mouth. It’s sweet that the way he talks about her gives him away, but she can’t help but feel nervous about it. Could he be giving himself away to just anyone? 

“It’s also obvious that he loves you, just so you know. But only because we’ve been friends for so long.”

 She takes her words as consolation. They’ve been each other’s only friend for years, learning each other emotionally and physically, so it makes sense that Tink would figure it out before anyone else does. “Thanks,” she says with a smile.

 “And I don’t want you to worry. He ended things with me the night you came here. He and I are friends before anything else; I’m just happy that he’s so happy.” 

 “I wasn’t worried,” Emma says truthfully. “I trust him. And… and you.” 

 “Good,” she says pleasantly, her smile meaningful as she seems to understand Emma’s sentiment; her implication that they’ve become friends, too. “So I guess you’re just sitting here and wasting time until we can go, huh?” 

 “Yeah,” she laughs. She enjoys Tink’s company. It’s easy to laugh with her, her lightheartedness contagious despite them both knowing the danger they're in. Killian has been quietly planning their escape, and it’s almost time to go, so the danger is getting more and more real as the minutes tick on. 

 They sit for a while, joking and laughing together, and Emma reflects silently on how nice it is to have a friend. Killian’s been her friend from the moment they met, but she hasn’t felt this close to another girl in all of her life. She hasn’t felt supported and genuinely liked by another girl since she was a kid, before the runaways and the homelessness left her completely and utterly alone. 

 “You seem happier,” Tink reflects with a soft smile. “The first time we met… Just-- I’m sorry, Emma. I should have been nicer to you. I’m just glad things are starting to look up for you now.” 

 “Thank you,” she smiles. “It’s nice having a friend.” 

 “Yeah,” she laughs. “Elsa’s nice but… I don’t know.” 

 The conversation takes an unexpected turn, guiding Emma down a path she didn’t know was there. The inclusion of Elsa in their discussion of friendship should seem natural enough, but Tink’s suggestion is that she isn’t as good a friend as either of them are to each other. 

 “What?” she asks, easily letting her confusion be known.

 “Something about her,” she answers with a shrug. “I never trusted her. Killian does, though.” 

 “Well, she’s almost like his sister-in-law, right?”

 She rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “Yeah, I guess. Not like that seems to mean much to her. Her loyalty lies with her family.” 

 Emma’s eyes narrow suspiciously, wondering what on earth Tink is talking about, where she’s gotten this idea, and what she could possibly know that Killian doesn’t. Killian is Elsa's family. “What are you--” 

 “Hi,” Killian says as he pushes the door open. She bites down against the smile teasing at her lips. 

 “Hi,” she whispers back. “Everything okay?” 

 She wasn’t expecting to see him today, not in the middle of the day, at least. But his arrival is nothing short of a pleasant surprise. It’s not entirely unusual for him to pop in during the day and see how things are going for her, but they should be lying low to avoid stirring suspicion, especially after their risky meetup in the bathroom last night. 

 “Aye, just checking in,” he answers as he bends to plant a kiss to her forehead. “Morning, love,” he says to Tink.

 “Good morning, fearless leader. Everything all set for today?”

 “Yes, indeed,” he answers playfully. She hasn’t ever seen him this light and happy outside of his bed when they share it together. The prospect of finally, finally leaving is a weight lifted off of all of their shoulders, and it’s clear that his spirits are lifting the closer they get to implementing their escape. “Just taking care of some last minute details.”

 Tink nods knowingly, and Emma immediately wonders what he’s talking about. Without her having to ask, she turns to Emma and explains, “convincing Elsa to go will take a certain level of… finesse.” 

 “Not to worry,” Killian consoles gently, placing his hand on hers and giving her a soft and loving smile. It’s the one she knows he saves just for her-- the one she never saw until they started to get close. “I’ll take care of it. I’m about to go and talk to her now, I just couldn’t resist giving my lady love a kiss before I went.” 

 She giggles like someone who has never felt pain before and he bends towards her, planting a soft, slow kiss to her lips that leaves her craving more. She’ll always crave more. And soon, she won’t have to deny herself the pleasure of being with him

 ~~~~

 They’re almost ready. Robin and Killian just need a few more things, some food and clothes and weapons with which to defend themselves, before they're ready to depart. Emma has already shaken enough from Neal’s safe to last them, and she’s certain that he hasn’t noticed and likely won’t until long after they’re gone. The availability of Gold’s yacht is certainly convenient as well, but they must be careful to load their supplies at the last minute, just before they're ready to leave, to avoid being caught.  

 Really, all that’s left is to round each of them up. Tink is more than ready, the two of them dreaming of fleeing for years and finally ready to take action. Robin has been silently wishing his life to be different since he was born into the club. The only person he truly worries about is Elsa, because she’s been gaslighted and unfortunately hasn’t been able to see past their tactics. She spent most of her life here, her mother bringing her and her sister into this lifestyle when they were just children. Now, he has to go against decades of brainwashing to convince her that it’s dangerous here-- that it’s not worth the risk that comes with staying.

 He’s just stepping out of his apartment, having just dropped off some groceries, when it happens. He doesn't even see who does it. He isn’t sure who hits him and with what. But in the blink of an eye, his hopes are dashed as his world goes dark.

 ~~~~

 The blackness fades slowly, the buzzing around the edges of his vision dissolving as he comes to. He moves to scrub his hand over his eyes, but it doesn’t move, prevented by the rough material around his wrist. His other stays put as well, the same material keeping him still. 

 Of course, he thinks in the darkness of the muggy, dank room. Of course this is happening. They were so happy-- they were so close. Of course they’re found out just before they planned to leave.

 “Ah, he lives. Glad you didn’t knock him out too hard, Neal.” 

 “I want him to suffer some more before I do.” 

 He wants to roll his eyes, but when he tries, he’s met with innumerable pain. Neal must have done a number on him, his eye swollen and painful. With each breath, his ribs sting and he hisses. He mumbles, “Bloody hell,” but it’s probably a bad idea. 

 Another fist strikes the left side of his face, further damaging his skin and the bone and tissue underneath and making him cry out. “You’re in for it now, Hook,” Neal hisses. “Elsa told Peter what you did, and I'm gonna make you suffer for it.” 

 He lets out a pained groan, blood trickling from his cheek. He tries again to wipe it away, but the ropes stop him, burning the tender skin of his wrist. “Elsa?” he asks in confusion, still fighting against the haze that’s perpetuated by another strike, this time to his right cheek. His neck cracks in such a way that can’t be good news as his head is whipped to the side.

 “That’s right. Did you expect loyalty from your family? Good luck with that. Unlike you, she understands that we are her family.” 

 Something hard whacks against his shin, making him cry in pain again. It’s not a fist; more likely to be a metal rod or perhaps a plank of wood. “That’s right, Neal,” Peter praises. “We’re all family. Elsa doesn’t have loyalty to only one.” 

 “Because you’ve brainwashed her,” he argues, met with another strike against his already stinging ribs. 

 “We’ve enlightened her. She’s dedicated to her family.” He isn’t even sure which one of them speaks as Neal delivers another sharp blow to his chin. 

 His ears ring as Neal’s open palms meet them, clapping both sides of his head at once and making his eyes grow wide in breathless agony. He can barely make a sound in response, his jaw dropping but any noise in protest stuck in his throat. 

 As the fog in his brain clears after a few moments, Neal allowing him to recover slightly before continuing his torture, he finally speaks again. “She also told us how she found out. She overheard you in the bathroom. During Rufio’s funeral. You sick bastard.” 

 His hand finds Killian’s throat, squeezing firmly until one eye starts twitching and his lips begin to go numb. Then he squeezes harder. 

 “Tell him what she heard, Neal.” 

 “You murdered Rufio,” he accuses knowingly, and Killian realizes that any sense of privacy that he and Emma thought they had was false, even with the door locked. Elsa must’ve gone to use the bathroom they commandeered, and she must’ve been forced to tell Peter and Neal what she overheard when she was caught, too. 

 “And what else?”

 “She heard you attacking my girlfriend,” he hisses, throwing Killian back until his throat is released, although it’s at the expense of his back as the chair tips and he lands solidly against the concrete ground. “She heard you trying to take advantage of her!”

 He lets out a rasped, choking sound as Neal’s boot pushes against his throat, barely giving him time to recover from his last assault. He can’t breathe, the muscles in his neck protesting against the firm weight pressed to him. He isn’t sure if the back of his head hit the floor when he collided with it, but he knows that would be bad. 

 “You fucking bastard!” Neal screams, clearly not worried about their location or activities being given away by an excessive noise level. “You tried to ruin her? Why?!” 

 Neal’s question needs to be answered with finesse. He can’t say anything that will imply that Emma was in any way a willing participant in their activities. He can’t let Neal find out that their affair is two-sided-- that they love each other. That they plan to run away together. 

 Of course, the possibility of their plan actually going off at this point is slim. Honestly, Neal might kill him tonight, his derangement making it impossible for him to see that Emma wants out just as badly as he does. 

 “Answer me!” he finally screams again, removing his boot and driving it forcefully into Killian's ribs. He can’t even double over, or roll onto his side to ease the pain, because he’s still bound to his chair. “Did that whore let you soil her? Or did you force yourself on her?” 

 “She had noth-- nothing to do with it,” he gasps, barely able to speak, barely able to breathe. “It meant nothing; she means nothing to me. I just did it to piss you off.” 

 Neal kicks his broken ribs again and Killian sees white. His vision blurs in response to his torment, but he hopes he doesn’t pass out because he knows he might not wake up if he does. It would be so easy to give into the blackness that clouds the outer rim of his sight, but he can’t. 

 “You took advantage of her. She’s weak, she can’t defend herself. She doesn't know what’s best for her. How dare you?” 

 “Aye,” he agrees painfully. It hurts to admit this in falsity almost as much as it hurts when Neal’s heel drives into his stomach. 

 He hears Peter say something, but his voice is tinny in his ears and he can’t make out his words. He’s slipping under the blanket of unconsciousness, the numbness taking over far too intriguing as he lets his eyes fall shut and his mind go black.

 ~~~~

 “Bring him out,” Peter commands, his violent voice making Emma jump in her seat. She can’t help but notice that her chair has been placed suspiciously closer to Neal’s than it usually is. He sits beside her, his body still and rigid and his eyes staring straight ahead. His face is threatening and tense, his jaw locked. “I need everyone to see what happens when you betray this family.” 

 A family meeting was called unexpectedly, interrupting Emma's sham of dedication to her research. She and Tink stared at each other, terror written across both of their faces as they stood and followed the small crowd to the intimidating room, met with Peter looking absolutely irate at the head of the table. Neal’s knuckles are bruised and bloodied, she’s realized.

The door opens slowly, two men dragging along a limp and seemingly lifeless form before throwing him into a chair and laughing when he groans. 

 Killian. 

 Emma stiffens, her eyes stinging and filling with tears that she immediately works to blink away. She bites the inside of her cheek until she tastes blood. She can’t let anyone see her reaction to seeing him like this, but the fact is, she thinks she might be dying on the inside. 

 He’s so broken, so mutilated. The bruises on his face make him almost unrecognizable, the swelling of his eyes and chin and cheeks distorting his beautiful features painfully. He’s holding his arm over his middle, likely suffering from some injuries to his ribs. He looks like he can barely breathe. There are deep purple bruises painted around his neck, taking on the shape of someone’s angry fingers. 

 The same angry fingers grab for hers, and she knows immediately that Neal has done this to him. He’s hurt her endlessly, but now he’s battered the man she loves, and this cannot stand. 

 “Tell the men what you’ve done, Hook,” Peter insists. One of the men holding him upright in his chair, Walsh, snickers madly. 

 “I--” he starts, his voice rough and tattered. Walsh laughs as he pushes his hand against one of his bruises for sport, causing Killian to wince. “I killed Rufio.” 

 The men around the table gasp, each of them straightening and making as though they’re about to stand and hurt him even more.

 “And what else?” 

 “I tried to damage Neal’s property. I manipulated her; I told her lies to make her believe that I felt something for her.” 

 The words are rehearsed. They trained him in exactly what to say. But still, she feels a stab in her heart at him announcing that she means nothing to him. “And tell them why.” 

 “Because I’m mad. I wanted to cause Neal pain. And I--” he cries out again as Walsh pushes his finger against another angry bruise, laughing at his response. “I want to cause the club to suffer.”

 “He wants the club to suffer, and he’s succeeded. I want everyone to take a long, hard look at the man who used to be our brother. Killian Jones is a dead man. He’ll die at sunrise, but for now, he’s to act as a symbol to anyone considering betraying the club. We’re a family, and we will not be trifled with.”

 The crowd around the table cheers loudly in agreement, each of them getting riled up in response to Peter’s ostentatious speech. He continues, “As for the Kings of Elsinore, we’ll continue our plans of attack. I don’t know about you lot, but I’ve about had enough of people who want to see us suffer. No one messes with the Lost Boys and lives to tell the tale!” The men cheer, fists banging against the table and making Emma jump. “They Kings will be a symbol for any other club thinking of going up against us. We are the rulers here! Prepare for battle, men. At dawn, we raid the Kings’ clubhouse!” 

 She’s silent as the room empties slowly, everyone who walks past Killian giving him some form of further physical punishment as they make their way out the door. Soon, it’s just Robin who remains, staring angrily at Killian, and Neal by her side. 

 “Ems,” Neal says darkly, and her blood runs cold in sudden fear. She’s been so consumed with worry and anger for Killian that she hasn’t even considered the repercussions from Neal at them being discovered. 

 She turns to face him nervously, her fingers shaking as she grips the arms of the chair. “Yeah?” she nearly whispers. 

 He gives her a soft, if not terrifying smile that she thinks is an attempt at being comforting. “I forgive you.” 

 Her brows raise on her head, almost meeting her hairline, and she asks, “You… what?” 

 “I know this bastard manipulated you. I know you’re not… Well, I know you're naive and desperate for attention wherever you can get it. Hook trying to seduce you isn’t your fault. I forgive you.” 

 She nods weakly, feeling as though she's in a trance. In a moment of clarity and brilliance, she decides to go along with his thoughts and says, “Can I have a minute with him? I need to look into the eyes of the man who… who tried to hurt us.” She chooses her words carefully, saying exactly what she knows will coerce him into giving her what she truly wants.

 “I don’t know, baby,” he shakes his head, taking her hand and roughly dragging it towards his mouth. “That’s not your brightest idea.” 

 “Robin’s here,” she reasons. “Look at him-- he’s just as mad as we are that his friend betrayed our family. He’ll keep me safe.” 

 He gives her another leering smile that she’s sure he thinks is sweet and winks. “I guess you’re not so useless up here after all,” he concedes, tapping his finger against her temple. She forces herself not to flinch away. “Rob,” he barks as he stands, “keep her safe from this asshole.” 

 “‘Course, mate,” Robin answers, taking Neal’s hand and shaking it. “I’ll watch him like a hawk.” 

 Neal is out the door in an instant, not bothering to say anything more to Emma in favor of shoving against Killian’s shoulder on his way out. 

 She's still for a moment, taking in the grievous sight of him and barely able to move. It takes her just a second after he lets his eyes fall shut and a weak breath fall from his lips to hurry to him and take his hands. “Killian,” she pleads in a whisper. 

 His brows screw together in pain and she pulls back, but his grip on her hand tightens. “I’m sorry,” he struggles. 

 “No,” she cries, pressing her lips firmly to the top of his hand, the one part of him that hasn’t been battered violently. “Don’t say that, baby. It’s okay. You’re gonna be fine.” 

 “I didn’t mean it.” He opens his eyes, or tries to, one of them almost completely swollen shut. She’s met with his genuineness, and it breaks her heart. 

 “I know that,” she promises. “You didn’t have to take all of this punishment just to keep me safe.”

 “They’ll never hurt you,” he vows, and it’s like he's promising himself, too. She stands, bending at her knees so that she can look at him head on. His bottom lip is swollen and bloody, but she plants a kiss there anyway. 

 “I love you,” she tells him seriously. “I’m so sorry.” 

 He doesn’t respond-- she doesn’t think he can-- but she does feel him squeezing her hand once more and bumping his likely broken nose against hers.

 This is her fault. He wouldn’t be here if not for her. If not for her making stupid mistakes and getting caught up in ridiculously dangerous situations, she wouldn’t be here and he would be okay. He wouldn’t be bleeding and bruised and have cracked ribs, and she wouldn’t be worried about his lungs being punctured or his skull being fractured. She would be alone, she would be lost without ever knowing him, but at least he would be okay. 

 “We have to get him out,” she says to Rob after a few moments of thick and desperate silence. “He needs help; he needs a doctor.” 

 “I know,” he nods in agreement. 

 “No,” Killian begs weakly. “Just go. Leave me, please. Don’t risk getting caught--” he cuts himself off, gasping in pain as he tries to move in his chair. “Please.” 

 “Killian, no offense, but shut up,” Robin says. “We’re all planning to flee. There’s not a chance in hell we let you die while we walk free.”

 “Right,” Emma breathes, relieved to hear that his friend feels the same as she does. “It’s almost dark. Do you think anyone will be here much longer? Can we sneak him out?” 

 “Rob,” he practically whimpers, letting his head drop back as his breath catches against the pain in his throat. “Please. Don’t put her in any more danger. Please.” 

 The room falls silent again as Robin considers his friend’s pleas, looking between the two of them pensively. Honestly, she doesn't care how it’s done. She just needs to make sure that Killian is out of here and away from danger as soon as possible so that they can follow through with their plan. 

 “Alright,” Robin concedes. “Emma, you should go back with Neal. We still don’t want to tip anyone off to our plans. I’ll get him out since I’m supposed to be keeping watch anyway. But at that point, we’ll both be wanted by the club. Round up Tink and Elsa and meet us. You talked to them both, right?” he asks Killian. 

 He shakes his head. “You have to check on Elsa first,” he insists. “Leave me and make sure she’s alright. She told them--” He gasps again, and Emma rubs her thumbs over the tops of his hands. When he looks into her eyes, he says, “She’s how they found out.” 

 “What-- she what?” 

 Emma’s dumbfounded, shaking her head in thought, unable to wrap her mind around the betrayal. It isn’t until her conversation with Tink makes itself known in her memory that she realizes what she meant. 

 Elsa’s loyalty lies with her family.

 “Emma, please, check on her. They probably tortured it out of her.”  

 She nods, if only so that she doesn’t cause him any further distress as she figures out the truth. There isn’t much about this lifestyle that makes sense to her, but one thing that seems abundantly clear is the fact that Elsa has never been as loyal to her brother-in-law as he has to her. Emma doubts very much that Elsa was tortured at all, much more likely to have given up the information freely. 

 “I will,” she promises, kissing the top of his left hand. “I’ll meet you soon. I love you.” 

 “I love you,” he whispers, letting his eyes fall shut. 

 When she stands, she makes anxious eye contact with Robin and says, “Get him out of here. He needs to see a doctor.” 

 “I will. Grab Tink and Elsa and meet me at the docks when you can. I’ll wait a few hours before I start looking for you.” 

 She nods, making her way towards the door and making a silent vow to herself. She’ll grab Tink, and she’ll prove her own hunch about what Elsa has done to Killian. 

 ~~~~

 Robin has just gotten to the docks, tucking his friend away safely on the boat they’ve pilfered, when he hears the footsteps. He got Killian to the bed, cleaned his wounds-- although he didn’t look much better when he was done with him-- and gave him some rum to help him sleep before he heard someone rustling above deck. Only it’s too soon for Emma to be back. As he steps out of the cabin, he sees a shadowy figure on the dock. 

 “You,” the figure calls, making their way towards their stolen boat. Robin nervously reaches for his gun and points it at the shadow. They reach for something as well, holding it up before themselves, and Robin cocks his gun in response. 

 “I’m armed,” he warns.

 “FBI.” 

~~~~

~~~~

Tagging:  @courtorderedcake​ @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda​ @kday426​ @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story​ @captain-emmajones​ @gingerpolyglot​ @ebcaver​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @teamhook​ @superchocovian​ @itsfabianadocarmo​ @tiganasummertree​ @gingerchangeling​ @jrob64​ @onceratheart18​ @xhookswenchx​ @winterbaby89​ @swampmedusa​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @dancingnancyy​ @love-with-you-i-have-everything​ @shireness-says​ @snowbellewells​ @hollyethecurious​ @ouatpost​ @daxx04​ @the-darkdragonfly​ @donteattheappleshook​ @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay​ @xsajx​ @itsfridaysomewhere​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @qualitycoffeethings​ @rapunzelsghosts​ @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice​ @batana54​ @sailtoafarawayland​ @deckerstarblanche​ @zaharadessert​ @xarandomdreamx @hookedmom​ @pirateprincessofpizza​

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 13)

Oh no... 13 is an unlucky number! Oh, well.

Up to this point we've seen Natsume fall in love with Mikan. This next arc is all about discovering Natsume, however, and we've pretty much already talked about that so maybe my analysis for his perspective will leave some things to be desired, which is fine, because Mikan's will come in due time! That being said, there's plenty of stuff in this arc, especially at the start of it, to analyze for Natsume as well.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Takahashi-san has dressed all the Elementary children in their New Year’s kimonos and they are now ready to celebrate the holiday together. They eat a New Year’s feast in the dorms lounge, a rare day where the children don’t have to eat according to their star rank.

It just so happens that New Year’s Day is also Mikan’s birthday. Everyone pretends like they don’t know, because Hotaru told them to leave it a surprise. Mikan is trying to let everyone know about the special day, but the New Year’s cards come in and everyone gets immediately and understandably distracted.

Of particular interest to everyone is Ruka’s card from his mother, who references Natsume and Aoi in her letter. Now everyone is in Ruka’s business and teasing him, so Natsume steps in to help, taking the card from Mikan, returning it to Ruka, and making a very good point that she shouldn’t go looking at other people’s cards without their permission. Mikan is uncomfortable, so she decides to change the subject by asking Natsume how many cards he got this year.

With that, Natsume goes cold and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

He didn't want to sit around watching them all gush about their dumb cards anyway!

The truth is Natsume has never gotten any letters or cards, no matter what time of year or holiday it is, and he never will. We can think back to when he told Mikan that the academy would never send her letters to her grandpa. He’d said that the school would never, under any circumstances, allow them to contact the outside. Turns out, the only person who can 100% count on that is Natsume. Sure, he and Mikan are similarly targeted in strange and unfair ways, but he will always be just a little more targeted, because he’s strictly not allowed to have fun or be happy. It would make him happy to hear from his father, to know that he’s safe. The school can’t have anything like that, so they have Natsume sit in the same room as all the other kids, watching them excitedly gush about how many cards they get, while he knows very well he will receive zero each year without fail.

Natsume wants some time to himself, understandably upset about his situation. He’s thinking about Aoi and probably beating himself up because he tends to do that when it comes to his sister and his past. He genuinely has no idea where Aoi is, or if she’s safe, and the school likes to keep it that way, so they can hold it over his head. Aoi is always one of the people they threaten, somebody he works tirelessly to protect despite the fact that he hasn’t seen her in years, doesn’t know where she is, and probably won’t ever see her again.

Natsume looks out the window, sitting on his own, and sees Mikan crying to Narumi because of her guilt and because nobody remembered her birthday. We can see pretty immediately that he isn’t actually upset with Mikan, just with his own situation. He watches her, always lovelorn. Then we see him put his hand on a little bag with a holly decoration. Because of the holly, there’s an instant relation to Christmas. We can’t know what’s in the bag yet, but eventually we will discover that it’s an alice stone.

He's just been carrying this around since Christmas at the latest. How embarrassing.

Natsume made this stone at some point. I would assume it was after his birthday party, before Christmas. Because of the bag, my guess is that he had wrapped it to be a Christmas present but had never given it. That’s understandable. He’s not supposed to woo her, after all, and giving a girl an alice stone would be pretty romantic, even if she has no idea what it means. We will see this stone time and time again, because he likes carrying it around in his pocket. Perhaps he likes imagining that he could give it to her, but never actually goes through with it. Just like today, on her birthday, he will not give the stone, but he’s still carrying it because he’d like to.

The alice stone is proof of at least one thing: Natsume is very much in love with Mikan and he knows it.

Chapter Fifty-Four

Mikan is happily celebrating her birthday. Natsume has returned to the lounge, but he hasn’t said anything, so she’s still feeling awkward about what happened.

The class decides to make mochi once Tsubasa and Misaki arrive. Tsubasa tries to greet Natsume but Natsume responds coldly, with a thumbs down. Now properly irritated, Tsubasa has decided to pull a prank.

Natsume does not make mochi. He sits on his own, napping with manga over his face like always. Once the class is finished, Permy quickly offers her mochi to him, but his attention is immediately on Mikan, who is giving her mochi for him to eat. She tries to apologize, but can’t get the words out, so she leaves the bowl on the table. Natsume can tell that she’s still feeling guilty, even though he isn’t really mad at her. She was thinking of him, so it’s no surprise that he ends up eating the soup, even if it is disgusting.

It doesn't matter if it's disgusting. He's gonna eat it anyway. Because she made it. Zoe and I joke that Natsume would eat all her food (out of his unending love, of course) and eventually get used to the bizarre combinations she puts together. He might even start liking them, who can say.

Hotaru has been invited to the Hana Hime den to be a flower princess, a girl hand-picked by the middle school principal and who carries a heavy amount of prestige and status. Misaki mentions some rumors about the MSP, namely that she locks up her favorite girls in a dungeon, and that immediately gets Natsume’s attention. He’s struck, and to a first-time reader, this might seem odd. He’s strangely intrigued by a girly flower party where guys aren’t even allowed. But he’s not interested for himself. Natsume can guess based on this new information that if Aoi is anywhere on the Alice Academy campus, it’s in the Hana Hime den dungeon.

There’s always an extra invitation ball that is given to a random girl each year, so she can also attend the prestigious party, but the chances that it would land in the hands of an Elementary student are very low.

The Class B girls look for one anyway, but their search doesn’t get too far because suddenly the kids are flying across the room, sticking to each other, like Hotaru and Youichi to Ruka, Anna to Nonoko, Koko to Kitsu, and even Natsume to Mikan.

Turns out Tsubasa’s payback scheme for Natsume giving him the cold shoulder was to put sticky mochi flour into their mochi as a prank, which will keep all the children stuck to the people who ate the same mochi for a full hour.

He was counting on her never finding out he ate it, but alas.

Mikan then realizes that since she’s stuck to Natsume, that he must have eaten her mochi. He can’t argue that he didn’t, but he turns quickly to insults to distract from how sweet of a moment that could potentially be. He says he choked it down, which might very well be true, but it leaves the question of why he’d put himself through the trouble of choking it down if it didn’t mean anything to him. Hmm. Check mate, Natsume.

Then, Mikan finds out that she’s the recipient of the prize jewel, and has thus been invited to the Hana Hime party. There’s something quite fishy about Mikan being the recipient. It’s too much of a coincidence, and it isn’t one. This is all an elaborate trick to trap Natsume in the dungeon forever, and it’s not by the MSP.

Most of the groups have become unstuck, except for Hotaru, Youichi, and Ruka. Tsubasa reads the packet and discovers that some people may be stuck for two or three days as a possible side effect. Mikan and Natsume can become unstuck, but Natsume grabs her hand and keeps her still.

He's not going to miss this opportunity, even if it puts him on the spot and is kind of embarrassing. To be honest, this could possibly unravel all the work he's been doing to downplay how much he likes Mikan. What if she starts thinking he has feelings for her? It's all so risky, but he's willing to do anything for Aoi.

He’s going to do everything he can to go to that party and possibly find his sister. Getting stuck to Mikan and then her being invited to the Hana Hime den is all just too good of a chance to miss. If she can somehow still go while attached to him, it gives him an in to check out the palace and try to find the dungeon.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Natsume is adamant about keeping up the charade that he and Mikan are still stuck. It’s important to him and he’s desperate. He would do anything to save his sister, so if it means threatening Mikan a little, he’s willing to do it. It doesn’t matter that Mikan has no idea what’s going on, what matters is even the chance of going.

Narumi returns to say there’s not a good probability that Hotaru and Mikan would still be allowed to attend the party, because boys aren’t allowed and they are firmly attached to three of them. Mikan has more and more reason to not want to be stuck when she realizes that going to the bathroom and sleeping will be tricky business. Natsume is obviously not a huge fan of it either. He’s usually cold and snippy, even when bickering with Mikan, but this time he’s yelling just like she is. He’s uncomfortable too, but it’s something he’s willing to sacrifice for Aoi.

Mikan only gets more and more upset, screaming about how much she hates Natsume. He doesn’t seem to take it very seriously until Koko, who is reading her mind, asks Mikan if she likes Ruka better than Natsume, and she responds that she does.

Natsume is hurt, but sadly it’s not anything he can’t eventually come to terms with, like every other disappointment in his ceaselessly disappointing life. For now, he’s bitter, but this is great news for Ruka, isn’t it?

It’s time for sleep, and they’re standing in Natsume’s fancy special star room. At her discomfort, he offers that they can sleep in her tiny room if she’d prefer it, but the venue isn’t exactly her problem. He proceeds to be unpleasant, saying that he’s not interested in sleeping with her either, since she probably kicks a lot and talks in her sleep. But then he’s serious, still bitter when he tells her “Sorry for not being Ruka,” and promises that the whole charade would be over tomorrow.

It's on rare occasions like this that Natsume can express even the tiniest fraction of what he's really feeling, in this case jealousy and hurt.

He really never would have done this to himself if Aoi’s safety wasn’t potentially at stake. Having Mikan be so angry at him, hearing her say she much prefers Ruka to him, having to share his bed with her--it’s all stuff he doesn’t want to do! Further, he’ll probably be in serious trouble tomorrow if he does manage to find and rescue Aoi. There’s nothing fun going on in Natsume’s brain, just worry and the skeleton of a desperately laid-out plan to save his sister.

Sleeping with Mikan is something he doesn’t want to do, no doubt, but not because she probably talks and kicks in her sleep. That wouldn’t actually bother him so much. Natsume usually waits until he’s alone in his room at night to let himself be sick. According to the chapter where Tsubasa found out about his condition, Natsume sometimes wakes up in a coughing fit until he coughs up blood. He suffers and struggles and is in pain when he sleeps, and Mikan will be there this time, up close to possibly see it.

How soft his eyes get, just looking at her. It's interesting whenever he drops his facade, like now in a state of half-awakeness, and we can see just how affectionate he'd be if he wasn't always sacrificing his happiness.

But Natsume falls asleep first anyway, and pretty quickly starts having a nightmare. He’s breathing heavily and struggling, having a PTSD flashback nightmare about Aoi. But Mikan wakes him up, sitting up, concerned for him. Natsume is barely awake, but his eyes turn soft. She saves him from his nightmares in more ways than one, like walking-talking serotonin. He reaches for her, in a state of half-consciousness, because his nights are usually awful but the time he spends with Mikan usually isn’t. Maybe combining them is the way to sleep peacefully for a change. So he snuggles her. She starts freaking out, embarrassed, but Natsume tries to reason with her, and maybe with himself too, half-asleep as he is. No, no, it’s just for tonight, just for now. It’ll be like it never happened tomorrow, it’s fine. She can go right back to Ruka tomorrow, since she prefers him anyway, and it won’t be a big deal. He just wants this for now, just for a little bit. Just while he can.

It’s sad that Natsume always thinks of these moments with Mikan as aberrations. They’re little moments that he borrows or steals just to have them for now, thinking they’re meaningless to her, but carrying them like they’re precious to him. He doesn’t think they belong to him, or that he has the right to want anything from her. He holds her during the SA class’s RPG as a joke. He tells her he likes her hair down after fighting with her. He dances with her, knowing that she’s danced with lots of other people and it won’t matter as much to add him to the list. He kisses her after he assumes Ruka already has, just so he can have keep it in his memories. And he cuddles with her now, even though she’s freaking out, because he needs some comfort, even though it isn’t his place to be hugging her. He always has to reason himself into these situations, like he’s convincing himself that he’s allowed to do this one selfish thing, just as long as she doesn’t understand how much it means to him, just as long as it won’t mean anything to her, just as long as he can get away with it.

And because he’s borrowing, the next morning he acts as though her holding him is some kind of bother. He acts all irritated and pretends like nothing happened, because he was borrowing the moment to begin with. It wasn’t his right to take it, and she can’t know it meant something. It also could be that he genuinely can’t remember the last night that clearly. People do all sorts of crazy things in between sleep that they can’t remember. Maybe his lack of sense and restraint helped him get the courage to hug her in the first place, and now that he’s fully awake he can hardly remember. If this is the case, then he's probably scolding his sleepy self for being so ridiculous.

It's up to you to decide if he really can't remember or if he's pretending. Both are possible and neither would really surprise me tbh.

It’s possible, but knowing Natsume, it’s also possible he’s pretending like he doesn’t remember. Either way, he has to do damage control, because she absolutely cannot get the wrong right idea and think that he has affection for her.

The morning brings good news as well, because Natsume, Ruka, and Youichi are allowed to accompany Mikan and Hotaru, as long as they’re dressed as girls.

It’s all working out a bit too conveniently. This is Persona’s scheme to trap Natsume, so of course it would all work out in order that he could make his way to the dungeon. Natsume might be relieved that his plan is working, but it won’t go so smoothly once they’re actually in the Hana Hime den.

Conclusion

The most interesting scenes to analyze from Natsume's perspective are the ones where he chooses to be selfish just once in a while. They're such silly things to call selfish, but they are to him. Being sweet or affectionate to the girl you love should be second-nature, not something to deny yourself, but it's what he's trying to accustom himself to. We also see just how desperate he can be in trying to protect people important to him, like Aoi. The lengths he goes to in order to find her are impressive and show just how determined he is. Going forward, we'll only see more of this kind of determination.

My sister (Zoe) and I made three playlists for NatsuMikan, just like I'm making three essays. One playlist for Natsume's POV, one for Mikan's, and one general playlist for their relationship. I've been listening to the Natsume one while writing these and it's been a lot of fun! This is my long-winded way of plugging Love Song Requiem. Good bye.

<- Previous Next ->

[babymetaldoll]

What are you going to be for Halloween? (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

(Not my gif)

Requested: Yes

“Love your work, in Matthew x read “family probation period” it was mentioned that reader and Matthew took his nephew trick or treating. Do you plan on making a fic a about that anytime soon?”

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler and his girlfriend spend Halloween with his family in Las Vegas, and take his nephews trick or treating. What could go wrong? Losing one of the kids, of course.

Category: A little fluff with some dirty talking= a lot of fun  😬

Pairing: MGG/ Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex, cursing (as always)

Word count: 2,4K

Masterlist

-

- “Real question, is there anything in the world that you like more than Halloween?”- (Y/N) asked her boyfriend. She was in the bathroom, getting ready for trick-or-treating, and he was standing in front of the mirror in his old room in his parent's house, putting on his suit.

He gave his answer zero thinking because he really loved Halloween.

- “Compared to any other holiday, nop.”

- “And compared to any other thing in the world?”- Gubler stayed quiet and sighed. He took a look at himself in the mirror and nodded, pleased.

- “Considering most of my favorite things are Halloween related, I’d say no.”

- “That’s what I thought. Ok, I’m ready. What do you think?”

Gubler turned around and looked at his girlfriend standing by the bathroom door.

- “Wow.”

- “Too much?”- (Y/N) bit her lips, nervous, as his boyfriend walked over and took a good look at her.

- “Wow,”- he repeated

- “Really, honey… what do you think?”

- “I think you look so good; you should wear this every day.”

Matthew held her chin and placed a slow and sweet kiss on her lips. (Y/N) blushed and looked at their costumes. He was dressed as Beetlejuice, and she was Lydia in her red wedding gown.

She wouldn’t be as nervous as she was under normal conditions, but that was a special Halloween. It was their first Halloween together as a couple, and they were going to spend it with Matthew’s family in Las Vegas. The whole family. And she had just met them two hours ago. And not only that, but they were also going to take his nephews trick-or-treating.  

No pressure.

- “So, ready?”- Matthew smiled and fixed his hair for the hundredth time- “How do I look?”

- “Is it wrong to say even with all that makeup and crazy hair, you are the hottest guy I have ever seen?”- (Y/N) stood in front of her boyfriend and smiled.

- “It’s wrong, very wrong… I might have to teach you a lesson later”- Gubler placed his hands in her waist and pulled her closer- “You are too hot in this dress too. That deserves a punishment.”

- “I’m so sorry, Matthew Gray”- she chuckled and shivered at the sensation of his lips on her neck, tracing kisses from her jaw to her collar bone.

- “You are sorry you are so hot?”

- “No, I’m sorry I can’t fuck with you in your parent’s house.”

(Y/N) thought her boyfriend would stop what he was doing, but it seemed it only encouraged him to continue. His hands moved carefully from her hips to her cheeks, passing painfully slowly upon her breast.

- “I think you can, and you will”- his voice was so low and velvety as he whispered those words, (Y/N) felt her knees weakening.  

- “Really?”- even her voice was a little shaky.

- “Really.”

- “Why are you so sure?”- she sighed and stared at him. His eyes were darker and filled with lust. But, it all ended in a second.

- “Uncle Matthew!!! Let’s go!!”- his nephews ran into the room in their cute disguises, ready to go.

- “Kids! Hey! you look amazing!! I mean, you look so creepy!! Let’s terrorize the neighborhood!”

(Y/N) smiled and sighed, trying to calm herself down after feeling her boyfriend kissing her skin, teasing her. How could he step from being a teaser boyfriend to a cute uncle in a blink?  

- “This ain’t over, by the way.”- he warned her as they walked downstairs and held her hand.

- “That’s what I thought.”

She smiled and felt her cheeks blushing again. Yes, she had been dating that man for eight months, and he could still make her blush. It happened awfully often, according to her, and it was embarrassing. But Matthew loved it. He thought it was adorable how she flushed each time he teased her. It made her look so innocent and naive.

It also made his pants get tighter, but (Y/N) still had no idea about that.

.

Walking around the neighborhood, holding Matthew’s hand while walking his sister’s kids asking candied was like a dream. She knew they weren’t there yet, but something about being like that made her feel so good and calm, she couldn’t stop smiling.

- “Trick or treat!!”- Gubler and his nephews said along, like a hyperventilated Halloween choir.

- “Well, hello!”- an old woman wearing a witch hat opened the door and smiled- “What a scary scarecrow! And a creepy…”- she furrowed her brows, staring at the child.

- “I’m sorry dear, who are you supposed to be?”

- “I’m Darth Vader!”- the kid announced proudly from underneath his black helmet.

- “Oh! Of course!”- the old lady smiled at the boys and gave them candies- “Your kids are adorable.”

- “Thank you.”- Matthew answered without hesitation and gave the woman a big smile. (Y/N) bit her lips and giggled.

- “Why did you tell her your nephews were our kids?”

- “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t bother. It wasn’t a big deal”- she nodded and continued walking.

- “Why? was it wrong?”- Matthew looked at her, and she started shaking her head immediately- “Because I just thought it was cute, and...”·

- “No, no, it wasn't wrong, it was...”- (Y/N) felt her cheeks turning pink as she looked around, avoiding his eyes- “You are right, it was very cute”.

The couple walked in silence for a moment. Matthew tried not to overthink what had just happened. He already knew he wanted (Y/N) to be the mother of his kids, but it was too soon to tell her that. After all, they had been together for only eight months.

.

- “Hey, kids! don’t go too far!”- Gubler yelled as his nephews ran to the next door, ignoring his words.

- “Have you ever lost one of them”- (Y/N) asked him, taking a look around. There were a lot of kids, and it was pretty easy to lose one.

- “Once in the mall. I freaked out. I got the guard to call him on the speakers.”

- “And what happened?”

- “I still can’t find him, so I replaced him with a clone. I still can’t believe my sister hasn’t noticed.”- Gubler answered, and (Y/N) burst out laughing.

- “Just don’t tell her yet. I’m still waiting for the right moment to break the news.”

- “Ok, ok. Your secret is safe with me”- (Y/N) held his hand tight and smiled- “Now, let’s get some candies.”

.

After an hour of trick-or-treating, the kids were fueled with sugar, and there was no way the couple could keep them in place. They were running and jumping and yelling all over the street, playing with some other kids from the neighborhood.

- “Ok, I think it’s time to cut the candies, don’t you think?”- (Y/N) asked her boyfriend as he ate another snicker bar

- “Sorry, what?”

- “Enough sugar for today.”- she said and grabbed the bag from his hands.

- “Oh, come on! just a little more.”

- “No, besides, you have to save some for tonight’s horror movies marathon.”

- “Right! But that’s why the kids are getting us more sweets. That’s their job.”- he moved closer and tried to take the bag from her hands, though all he was really doing was to hold her close and tickle her

- “I don’t think they will share.”- she answered, giggling

- “I’m their favorite uncle. Of course, they’ll share.”

- “Do you wanna bet?”- Matthew looked into her eyes and nodded.  

- “Ok, let’s ask them.”

Matthew looked around, searching for them in the crowd.

- “I’ve got one!”- (Y/N) said and held a tiny, cute and cleared tired scarecrow, who wrapped his arms around her neck and sighed, almost ready to nap.

- “Ok, now we need our Darth Vader, and we will ready to go.”

The couple kept on searching, but nothing. No Darth Vader around.

- “Shit!”- Gubler whispered and started calling his nephew’s name. But nothing. (Y/N) wide opened her eyes, feeling her stomach tightening. Losing a kid was the worst way to be introduced to her boyfriend’s family. Of course, it was going to happen to her.  

- “I’m gonna go look for him,”- Matthew said, and she nodded- “You should stay here in case he comes back.”

Matthew Gray had never lost one of his nephews. He was joking earlier. And because it had never happened, he was freaking out. What if they never found him? what if he had been kidnapped? He worked on a tv show with the sickest stories about serial killers. He had seen and read enough of that to think the worst.

He walked around, yelling his nephew’s name for about a block until he finally found him and hugged him immediately.

- “Shit! I was so worried. Never do this again, please.”

- “I want my mommy.”- the kid said from inside the helmet, and Gubler nodded.

- “Let’s get your mommy.”

- “I got him!!”- Matthew yelled proudly, walking to (Y/N) holding his nephew in his arms. (Y/N) frowned and looked at him, confused.

- “Who’s that?”

- “What are you talking about?”- Matthew asked- “I know you just met them today, but…”

- “Gubler, I’ve got the kids here.”

And she did. They were both sitting on the sidewalk, eating candies.

- “If they are here… who’s this?”- Matthew asked and took out the helmet of the kid he was holding.

- “I want my mommy”- the boy said and pouted.

- “Shit!!”- Matthew was in shock. He had taken someone’s kid by accident- “Let’s… let’s go look for your mommy, ok?”- he boy nodded, and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh.

- “Where did you find him?”- she held Gubler’s little nephew’s hands as Matthew kept the kid in his arms, looking for his mother.

- “Over there… do you see your mommy?”- he asked the boy, who was still pouting and about to start crying.

- “Do you know where you live?”- (Y/N) asked him, and he shook his head- “Do you see any of your friends?”- but nothing.

- “What’s your name, baby?”- Matthew tried to soothe him and gave him a candy bar

- “Andy”

- “Ok, Andy. This is what we are going to do, we are going to call out for your mom, ok?”- (Y/N) looked at her boyfriend and felt her heart was going to explode inside his chest. That man was made to be a father.

- “Are you going to help me look for her?”- Gubler asked, and the little one nodded- “Ok, guys, are you going to help us find Andy’s mom?”- he asked his nephews.

- “Yeah!!!”

- “Ok, so help me out here”- Matthew cleared his throat and started shouting out- “Andy’s mom!! we are looking for Andy’s mom”- (Y/N) smiled and looked around, yelling as well, along with the boys, until a woman appeared running.

- “There you are!!”

- “Mommy!!”- Andy hugged her and held her tight immediately.

- “Thank you for finding him”- Matthew smiled and nodded

- “Not a problem”- (Y/N) looked at him chuckling, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pinching her waist- “He was very scared”

- “Say thank you to the nice man, Andy”- it was getting harder for (Y/N) not to laugh, but she had to. Besides, Matthew pinched her waist again, nearly making her jump.

The boy thanked and waved, and soon he and his mother were gone. Gubler looked at his girlfriend and smiled, not saying a word. Then, he kneeled and looked at his nephews.

- “Are you ready to go home and watch a scary movie with us?”- the two of them nodded.

- “Can we watch the one with the witches that eat children’s souls?- one of them asked, and Matthew smiled immediately.

- “Hocus Pocus! of course! It’s my favorite! What do you say (Y/N)?”- he looked at her, and she nodded, smiling

- “It’s my favorite too! It has a cat! I love cats!

.

The boys walked a few meters ahead of them, and the couple held hands, not taking their eyes from them for even a second.

- “You are full of it, you know?”- (Y/N) whispered and giggled- “He was very scared”- she said, impersonating Matthew’s voice. And he laughed immediately.

- “You kidnapped a kid and then innocently pretended you had found him!”

- “In my defense, the kid was already lost when I kidnapped him!”- Matthew argued, laughing- “And I was worried he couldn’t find his mother.”

- “Of course”- (Y/N) laughed and looked at him- “Aren’t you nice?”

- “I am nice! I am a nice man”- she nodded and looked ahead. She couldn’t argue with that.

- “So you are gonna protect me from all the monsters that come out on Halloween?”- (Y/N) asked, and Matthew chuckled.

- “I don’t know… maybe”

- “Maybe?! really? are you going to leave me alone to die?”- she pretended to be mad but failed, ‘cos she couldn’t stop smiling. That would always happen when she was with her boyfriend. She was too happy and couldn’t stop smiling.  

- “Yeah, maybe, because I could actually turn into a monster tonight and try to eat you.”

He put a hand in the small of her back, making her shiver, even when it was such a little touch.

- “Are you scared?”- he whispered in a lower voice.

- “No”- she answered and smiled at him- “Because we will be in a house full of people. If you turn into a zombie, I will scream until someone comes to rescue me”- (Y/N) turned and stuck out her tongue to him.

- “What if I kiss you so much, you wouldn't be able to scream? “- she bit her lips and blushed immediately.

- “You know I can’t hold myself. I always scream.”

- “I know, I love that”

- “And that’s why we won’t fuck in your parent’s house, Gubler.”

- “Oh, come on!! I will be quiet, I swear!!”- he begged, laughing

- “No! it’s weird!!”

- “It’s not weird!! It’s dirty, and you are dirty”- (Y/N) kept blushing and tried her best not to look at her boyfriend in the eyes.

- “You can’t deny it, Bunny. I’ve seen the things that you do.”

- “But I won’t do any of those things in your parent’s house!”- Gubler sighed and stayed in silence for a while.

- “And in my parent’s garage?”- (Y/N) laughed at her boyfriend’s proposal. He was acting like a horny teenager trying to convince his prom date to have sex.

- “It’s not my room, and technically it’s not my parent’s house.”

- “Hold it until we are back in L.A, Gubler.”

- “But I don’t want to”- he pouted

- “I’ll make it up for you, I promise.”

- “How?”- he stopped walking, holding her hand tight, and forced her to stop too- “This is important.”

- “Remember that thing we saw the other day in that movie?”

- “The thing you said you have never done?”- she nodded, and Matthew’s eyes turned darker in lust in a second- “Really? Can we do it?”

- “Only if you manage to be a good boy until we are not in your parent’s house, ok?”- Gubler nodded frenetically, and (Y/N) smiled, pleased

- “Good, now let’s go. I don’t wanna lose another kid again.”

[beelspillowpet]

Hello... Could you do some headcanons of the brothers reacting to MC having an ED? Like... Food restriction and p*rging, and, yeah... All of that... Sorry if this is very weird and/or uncomfortable... I struggle with that and I kinda seek comfort... Thanks

So I’ll be the first to say; you’re perfectly fine in asking for this request. You’re not alone in your fight with eating disorders; I have one as well. I try not to touch on it too much in my own media with my characters and such, but I hope you manage to overcome yours, anon. Learning to eat more (or less) is so important and it’s so hard to try and force ourselves to do it right. Please don’t feel like you’re a burden for this ask, it’s brave to even say it outloud, despite being on anon. You’re brave, you’re strong, and you can overcome this.

MC Has An Eating Disorder

CONTENT WARNING BELOW THE CUT!!!! Eating Disorders | Depressive Themes | Generally triggering - please be careful with reading this one.

PLEASE speak to a professional or call the hotline ( (571) 257-3378 ) if you feel like it’s getting beyond your control. Take CARE of yourselves. I don’t know you personally, but I would be sad if you weren’t able to help yourself, especially with how harsh the world has been for the past year.

Lucifer

He notices you don’t eat much at dinner. Originally suspects it’s because the food palette is far from what humans are used to. I mean, brains? From a dragon? They may be Belphie’s favorite, but you weren’t Belphie, now were you? He decides to try and cook (and have his brothers do the same) much tamer foods.

It doesn’t seem to work at first, with how you barely seem to eat. Sometimes you can feel his eyes on you, so you force yourself to scarf down whatever you can before handing the rest to Beel. He keeps an eye on you closely. He invites you to dinners, brunch, the likes. He’s just trying to see what you will and won’t eat.

It’s amazing how he hadn’t caught on to such an obvious answer yet. What makes him realize it though, is after he’s cleaned up from your lunch with him, he finds you in the bathroom, emptying your stomach. He doesn’t fully understand it still. You’ve been found out to been doing this for a long time; even before you got here to the Devildom.

He suspected you were just a smaller person. Something in him just couldn’t believe you were doing this to yourself. He wanted to know why, but getting an answer out of you didn’t seem like a good idea. Chances are you didn’t know either. He brings it up carefully while you two are alone. He explains why he’s concerned, instead of being roundabout with it, choosing to be direct. He cares about you, not just for Diavolo’s sake. He wants you to be able to take care of yourself when he can’t look after you anymore.

Mammon

Is probably the first to notice that you’re starving yourself, save for Beel. He’s been in the business of being a model for long enough, he’s seen others starve themselves and purge just to look thinner. That’s exactly what he catches you doing one day.

He’s worried. He’s dealt with helping his fellow models out with this sort of thing in the past. Albeit not as sensitive, he always managed to get his point across with others. But you? You were eating fine one day, and then for the next three or four days you barely ate anything at all. It’s like you were punishing yourself.

His approach is similar to Lucifer’s but a little more experienced in his talk. He’s explaining that he’s worried about you, and that you need to get some food in you if you’re gonna be able to do anything. With each bit of resistance you give, any excuse you can give, he shoots it down quickly. Mammon has probably heard it a thousand times before. You’re not getting off easy.

He’s trying to be soft yet firm about this. You can tell even he is nervous about this confrontation. Regardless of how you take it, he’s patient and supportive. He even asks you if you’re doing this for a specific reason. He doesn’t expect you to be able to eat full meals the very next day. He catches you snacking on foods every once in a while. Thankfully, healthy stuff instead of junk food. It’s not much, but it’s something for your sake.

Leviathan

He knows almost immediately. He may or may not have a similar issue. Maybe not to the same degree, but he understands it. He decides to wait until you two are alone. Probably in his room. Still he waits, he waits until he can form the words in his head.

When he finally does pick the perfect moment, it’s probably not in his room while you two were watching anime or playing games. He’d likely chickened out in that moment, too afraid of upsetting you with the topic. Instead, he’s now in your room, standing at the door way. Like he’s an intruder, coming to scream at you for your problems.

His words are running together and he’s on the verge of tears. He practiced what he was going to say nearly a thousand times over, but he can barely get a sentence going before the dam breaks and he’s crying. How is he supposed to help you when he can’t even fix his own horrible eating habits? He gets so wrapped up in his otaku life that he sometimes forgets to eat. So who is he to lecture you?

He sits down with you, and you both look into how to fix this. While his problems aren’t as severe, yours definitely are. He doesn’t want to be dramatic, but you seeing a professional about this is probably the best course of action. Neither of you can build up the courage to ask someone else in the house for help, so you call a doctor together. Therapy is now on the table for options of seeking help, and while reluctant still, you wouldn’t bare to see Leviathan like that again. It was for you after all. You wanted to feel better, so he could feel better too.

Satan

Doesn’t pick up on it immediately, but once he does realize it, he’s on to you about it. He makes little remarks about it here and there, never teasing, but very curious. He’s trying to play armchair therapist and figure out what’s causing you to do this to yourself.

Eventually he comes to you while you’re alone and asks you about it. He’s calm and respectful the entire time, trying to get you to open up to him. Is it a lack of control in your life? He can relate to that. Not everyone gets forced to live in Hell for a year and be an exchange student.

He doesn’t exactly shut down each of your attempts of denial so easily as Mammon might, but he’s trying his best. The nonsensical pattern of your eating habits throws him through a loop, and he’s not sure if he’s able to keep up.

He does get one of his friends involved, who happens to be an expert in this field. He just wanted to wager for himself how severe the problem was before he got any help involved. He’s only hoping you can snap out of it and get yourself together. He doesn’t want you starving yourself for any reason.

Asmodeus

Like Levi, he may or may not have had a similar problem. Maybe to the same tune as a model, but it’s not a severe case. Regardless, when he catches you starving yourself, he’s unnerved by it. You said you weren’t hungry but your stomach is growling for food. Everyone thought it might have been Beel’s stomach, but it’s yours.

You’re only eating specific things at specific times. You can’t allow yourself to snack at all, and sometimes when you do, you withhold yourself from eating anything for the next day or so. Sometimes you won’t even leave your room. on those days.

Asmo is smart, so when you start wearing bigger clothes in vain hopes to cover up your skinny body, he steps in. He’s soft spoken and gentle, telling you how much he loves you and cares about you. He’s not afraid to tell you that your eating habits are hurting your body. He’s careful about it, and he’s trying to make sure you understand where he’s coming from. He’s doing this because he sees so many things that can go wrong with this. He doesn’t want any of them to become a reality.

With his help, you start to pick healthier things to eat. You aren’t eating full meals yet, let alone half your plate, but it’s more food than you were consuming before. He keeps you at it and overtime starts to see even more progress with you. He’s glad you’re coming around with his help.

Beelzebub

He for one, is glad that you seem to eat a lot. It’s not every day you see a human able to put food away like he does. Well- not quite like how he does, but close enough! You eat normally while in the dining room with the brothers, but then at night when everyone is in their rooms, you’ll go to the kitchen with him and eat the entire fridge’s contents.

You figured the last person to notice these issues is someone else who has a problem with their eating habits. While Bele isn’t exactly a human, you could consider his eating habits similar to just bingeing. Almost constantly, at that. Disappearing after eating with him is common practice. You’ll rush to the bathroom and purge your stomach of all its contents you had just consumed. Part of you is extremely guilty, eating all that food just so you could throw it up later.

Beel is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. At some point, he does catch you throwing up into the toilet. He was coming to take a shower before leaving for RAD when he found you doubled over the bowl. It was a few minutes after breakfast. He had figured by now, you’d been doing this for a while, long enough to where you’d start turning the sink on (sometimes flushing the toilet or turning on the shower) to hide the sounds. It didn’t work today.

He didn’t understand why you’d do this to yourself. He’d never really heard of eating disorders before, and always assumed it was normal to just eat whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. He figured trying to be careful with his own eating habits around you, would help you learn to eventually figure out how much you could eat. He’s patient, always talking to you while you eat with him, trying to distract your brain from the stress of eating. When you can’t finish all of your food that’s okay; he’s there to eat however much is left. It works out perfect for the both of you. He just wants to make sure you’ve at least eaten enough for your own body first.

Belphegor

Pica is a strange one. Belphie knows about these sorts of things. His twin brother is Beel, how could he not?

He’s almost certain you’ve got it. He’s never seen a human eat things like dirt, mud, or rocks. Beel, of course has eaten an entire pillar in the Demon Lord’s castle, but he’s not human. He’s not even a normal demon. You, on the other hand, are presumed to be a totally normal human. And humans don’t eat rocks.

He doesn’t know how to properly bring it up at first. He takes you up to the attic for a nap, and while you’re both laying there together, realizes that you two are alone. Now is just as good of a time as any, right?

Because it’s such a fatal things, Belphie is more than just determined to help you. As soon as possible, you’re seeing a doctor for this. He wants you to feel good about yourself, and your body can’t be feeling good if it doesn’t have normal foods to keep itself going. It may seem a bit selfish, but he wants to make it up to you. If you can’t properly care for yourself, he’ll make it his life’s goal to care for you. 

[blackjack-15]

Two Can Keep a Secret (if the Family Tree is Dead) — Thoughts on: Ghost of Thornton Hall (GTH)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW, CAP, ASH, TMB, DED

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: GTH; SPY; mention of ASH (and the ASH meta); mention of Nik/HER’s spoilery hints about GTH.

 NOTE: THIS META CONTAINS DISCUSSION OF AND REFERENCE TO SEXUAL ASSAULT. MORE DETAILED SECTIONS ARE MARKED, BUT THIS WARNING STANDS FOR THE WHOLE META.

 The Intro:

It’s time to get our Spooky on, lads. And we’re gonna do it in a meta of truly staggering length, so maybe go to the bathroom and get a snack before you start. My apologies.

Due to the (to be quite frank) absence of nostalgia surrounding them, there’s not really many games that are post 2010 that the fandom tends to agree on, but Ghost of Thornton Hall happens to be a standout in that pretty much everyone has found something to like about it. It often tops the charts of “best newer game” polls, and puts in a valiant effort against the more nostalgic mainstays.

There are a lot of reasons for this, in my mind – the quality of the writing, the choices that Nancy can make that actually affect the outcome of the game and especially affect Nancy, the fabulous voice work, the purposely-unanswered questions that give a deeper sense of horror — but if you ask me, the love for GTH really boils down to one thing:

Atmosphere.

Nancy Drew game fans (and I’m including myself in this) tend to prioritize atmosphere in the games, probably because without good and proper atmosphere it’s easier to pick apart the formula as you’re playing and to avoid being immersed in the game’s story, and GTH has it thick on the ground (figuratively and literally). The fear, unease, and overall sense of being an Intruder in this story comes from the overwhelming atmosphere provided by the grief of the characters, the time-sensitive nature of the crime, the secrets of the house and family, and, of course, the rather stellar visuals and locations.

The Thornton’s house and grounds really feel alive, but dead — in fact, they almost feel alive in the way that a zombie is, where they function and feed but have no heart. The gloriously (and meticulously) decorated walls are cast in shadow and grime; the portraits feel ominous and disapproving rather than lifelike and nostalgic; even the graveyard, as spread out and opulent as it is, feels claustrophobic and unwelcoming.

In a word, the game is – visually, thematically, story-wise, and atmospherically — haunting. And I think that overwhelming feeling of being haunted is, in large part, what draws fans back to this game again and again.

It should come as no surprise, then, that the scariest parts of this game are the things that you, as the player, do not see. Sure, the apparitions of Charlotte, the ghostly figures, the appearance of Harper — these are all scary, but the fear is gone after a moment, leaving the player unsettled but not running to hide under a blanket. The deaths of the fifty-four souls, the secret behind Clara’s birth, Harper’s breakdown — all these things that you don’t see, that you can only hear about or have hinted at are where the fear of the game kicks in, especially for older players.

It’s no secret that, despite the games being labeled for ages 10 and up, that the actual age of the Nancy Drew games fandom hasn’t been around 10 for some time — most people playing these games are in their 20s or 30s, or have siblings who are in their 20s and 30s and got into the games through them. Sure, there are some outliers, but the Clue Crew is much closer in general to the ages of the River Heights crew than they are to the age that that box says.

Because of this, the writers (and I’m going to especially hat-tip Nik here) behind the games have been able to slowly graduate the topics of the games to be a little bit older, hiding the true horror behind things that younger kids just won’t think about. This is especially the case with GTH and SPY, but you see it in a lot of the newer games, where the implications of events are normally scarier than the events themselves.

GTH takes that and runs with it, choosing to hint at and dance around truly upsetting — for any age — topics, presenting a mystery and a story that only get scarier once you’ve finished staring at the screen. The characters’ emotional problems and issues — loss, abandonment, anxiety, guilt — are like this too; while they’re present in the game itself, when you take a step back after finishing the game you realize just how badly scarred everyone is in the story.

Because answers were purposely left vague in order to 1) make the player work for it and 2) keep the 10+ rating, pretty much everyone who plays GTH has a slightly different opinion on what went down at Charlotte’s party, who the Thorntons really are, the circumstances of Clara’s birth, why the children of a female Thornton take their mother’s name — you name it, and there’s around 10 distinct opinions on it, and many more offshoots of those opinions besides.

I’m going to talk a little bit here about a couple of the “biggies”, since I don’t want it cluttering up the Suspect portion of this meta, so bear with me. I’m not so much interested in “this is the Correct answer” as much as just presenting the information from the game and wondering about its conclusions…but I (like everyone else) have my little pet theories, so what follows will be a little bit of reporting, a little bit of inference, and a little bit of supposition.

What follows is a frank discussion of topics such as rape and incest as they apply to GTH. If this is something you’d rather not consume, skip down to the next bolded line.

The most talked-about question left hanging in the game is, of course, who Clara’s father was. I think this question is best addressed from a two-pronged approach, however, because to figure out who Clara’s father could have been is a question that requires another question to be answered: why would Clara’s mother not tell her, even on her deathbed.

The most popular — and horrifying — answer to this is that Clara’s father is Jackson, and that she was a product of rape and incest. Now, just looking at the timeline, this theory adds up; Rosalie (Clara’s mum) would have been 25 when her father was 51 and would have raped her — young enough (especially in relation to her father, a middle-aged man of a lot of power in and out of the family) that she would have been scared to tell anyone anything, but old enough to not have it be super out of the ordinary that she got pregnant and had a baby — especially in 1968.

To add to this theory, there’s the note in the cellar that asks “who was this Jackson?...what’s he hiding, and who put it there? Was it Charlotte?”. If you’re looking for clues with the incest theory in mind, this seems to point directly to it — “who was this Jackson”? both Rosalie and Clara’s father. “What’s he hiding”? his crime of raping his daughter and impregnating her. The mention of Charlotte alludes to the supposition that Charlotte found proof of this crime — tangible proof — and put it somewhere; this pretty much supposes that there’s a document somewhere that names Jackson as Clara’s biological father, such as an admission of guilt or a paternity test.

The final “proof-positive” to this theory is that Rosalie refused to tell Clara who her father was even on her deathbed. We know from the family tree and Wade that Clara was between 5-10 when her mother died (I’m inclined to believe the family tree, and chalk the discrepancy up to either the writers not being concerned with math or, more likely and more charitably, to show that Wade isn’t a Perfectly Reliable source, just like everyone else), and Rosalie’s protection of Clara from the truth makes sense with a child in that age span. It’s one (horrible, horrible) thing to be forcibly impregnated by your father, but to have to say it out loud, and to say it to your child — that’s something that no one can even remotely blame Rosalie for not being up to, especially when weakened by sickness.

There are smaller points — like pointing out that this might be why Virginia (Wade’s mum) was skipped over in inheritance — but these small points have dozens of explanations, so they’re not really good for bolstering a theory unless you’re already dedicated to it and are looking for crumbs to shore it up.

End of frank discussion. The previous topics may be alluded to and/or mentioned, but not discussed in detail from this point on.

Now, let’s talk about another explanation. I think there’s a tendency to jump on the “Jackson Theory” because 1) there are clues that support it, but more importantly 2) because it’s horrifying, and it’s natural to leap to the scariest thing you can think of when considering a game that relies on fridge horror in the first place.

In the “Jackson Theory”, Rosalie would have hidden Clara’s parentage because of shame, horror, and trauma, and probably to (at least momentarily) spare Clara’s feelings — but Jackson isn’t the only explanation for her reticence.

Generally, we can break apart the reasons for Rosalie’s silence into three distinct emotions or emotional states: shame (supports the Jackson Theory), trauma (supports an assault by a known wolf), or, often overlooked, ignorance.

Clara is mentioned repeatedly as being outwardly and obviously scared about her place in the family — a fear borne from and exacerbated in her childhood, as Nik plainly states (“her insecurity wasn’t just a personal flaw, it was a response to her uneven upbringing,” emphasis mine).

An easy way for Rosalie, worried as she must have been about leaving her daughter alone, to fix this if Clara really was a product of incest, is to name a distant Thornton cousin, preferably one who was already dead or out of the picture, as the father, which would assure Clara’s place in the Thornton line by both blood and her future adoption. This way, if Clara’s parentage was tested, she’d show up as a Thornton from both sides in a way that wouldn’t be suspicious, and her daughter would have an easier life.

But Rosalie didn’t do this — she never even hinted at the identity of Clara’s father. As a woman known primarily for secret keeping — not just about Clara, but about everything (“She loved her secrets,” Wade says), Rosalie would have been adept at hiding things through various means, including through lies and subterfuge, not simply staying silent. Given the little we know of Rosalie’s character, then, let’s consider why she wouldn’t have said anything — even something false — to ensure her daughter’s safety when she died.

Looking outside of Jackson (and with any other known Thornton being quite unlikely), the vast majority of assaults are committed by those known to their victim — friends, acquaintances, classmates, etc.

The Thorntons were — and are — an incredibly powerful family, both monetarily and socially. Having dealt with families such as the Thorntons before in matters like this one, it is frankly incredibly unlikely that, had Rosalie been assaulted by someone she knew, that the truth wouldn’t have come to light through another source, and that the perpetrator would have been punished in every way possible.

BRIEF DISCUSSION OF ASSAULT STATISTICS AS THEY RELATE TO ROSALIE’S POSSIBLE CASE.

Some people familiar with only the post-20th-century world as “the modern age” and with a less stellar grasp of the pre-tech-boom world might raise an eyebrow at this supposition of punishment, but this is Exactly what would have happened — and did happen with regularity — even as “far back” as ’68 — especially when the crime was committed against a young, privileged, wealthy woman of the community.

Note, this is after the USMPC adjustment to the definition of rape in ’62, but before the adjustments in the early 70s; in 9 years, forcible rape rates (this number includes only female victims, so the true number of victims is indisputably higher, given the enormous jump in rape statistics in 2016-present as male cases have been included) had soared in the United States from around 17,000 per year in 1960 to, in the year Clara was born, 31,000 reported cases (source: DisasterCenter). With these soaring numbers came soaring awareness, and combined with Rosalie’s identity as a rich, powerful young woman in a rich, powerful family, it’s on the outside of belief that, had her attacker’s identity been known or suspected, that it could have remained a secret and gone unpunished.

END OF BRIEF DISCUSSION OF ASSAULT STATISTICS AS THEY RELATE TO ROSALIE’S POSSIBLE CASE.

Given this historical and social backing, the simplest and unavoidable potential answer to why Rosalie wouldn’t have either told Clara who her father was or made up a “brief love” who abandoned her Dishonorably, is this: she didn’t know.

(I’ll spare a mention here to say that, ignorance because of being a “wild child” in the 60s and having had multiple partners would be a possible theory, but it disregards everything else we know about Rosalie and her behavior, and that her reputation as a party girl would have been common knowledge, unable to be hidden from those who were alive at the time. So let’s move on to what else would cause ignorance.)

Though attacks by a person unknown to the victim are, in relation to known assailants, rare, in the absence of other evidence, the simplest answer to Clara’s parentage was that Rosalie was assaulted by someone that she did not know and had no way of knowing — and who had no idea of the social power of his victim.

Rosalie truly left nothing behind that points to her daughter’s parentage, even for later discovery or for Clara’s private eyes in a bank lockbox when she came of an Age that Rosalie deemed appropriate — so the conclusion to be drawn is, in the absence of evidence, that Rosalie didn’t answer Clara’s question because she simply couldn’t.

This ties into the other theory/mystery I want to cover here — that of what happened the night Charlotte died, and how (and in what way) Clara was culpable and responsible for Charlotte’s death. We know that, according to her, Clara went there simply to “scare” Charlotte — and given the circumstances that Clara gives this confession in, I’m inclined to believe her — and it’s my opinion that the reason didn’t have anything to do with the truth of the identity of Clara’s father.

My stance here — and it’s here that I take a solid stance, rather than presenting options — with Charlotte (and I’ll talk more about her general character in the Suspects section) is that Charlotte found the same breadcrumbs as the players did and came to the same conclusion — that Jackson was Clara’s biological father. The difference, however, is that I believe Charlotte’s conclusion to be understandable, but ultimately incorrect, and that Rosalie’s assaulter was a stranger.

Horrified, this is where Charlotte’s “cryptic obsession with Jackson” (mentioned in the note in the cellar) began, and what led to her changing the beneficiary of her will from Clara — poor, pitiable Clara, already a victim of so much, whose insecurities would be compounded by this truth — to Harper.

An important part of this theory — and of really any theory — is the consideration that Clara was pregnant with Jessalyn at the time. Not only does this partially explain why Clara’s thought was to save herself (and her baby) rather than dragging Charlotte out with her (regardless of any other factor), but it also brings a potential answer as to why Charlotte would change her will to favor Harper, rather than Clara. Just as the cellar note asks “Who was this Jackson?”, I find myself asking a similar, but no less important question:

“Who was this Austin Neely?”

Listed as Jessalyn’s (still living) father on the family tree, Austin Neely isn’t present anywhere else in the game — not by name and not through mentions of “Jessalyn’s father” or “Clara’s ex-husband/ex-boyfriend” or anything like that. There’s not even a mention of Clara contacting him as a guest for the wedding or to help search for their daughter. His absence is glaring, especially in a game so focused around family — so the question of who is Austin Neely is a question that seems incredibly important to me, given that Clara was pregnant at the time of Charlotte’s death.

In mentioning this theory, I do fully acknowledge that I have only some circumstantial evidence — mostly emotional, and based off of who the characters are/were — to support it, but given the total lack of information on Austin Neely, my guess is as good as anything else.

So here’s my theory: Austin Neely is not Jessalyn’s father, and Clara, like her mother, became pregnant via some type of assault (and given that this was the late 80s and given Clara’s age at the time, I would say the most likely culprit is date rape). When Clara became aware that she was pregnant, given her insecurities about her place in the Thornton clan and her lack of knowledge of her own father, would have come to this conclusion: she was not going to let her baby go through what she herself went through. So she did what her mother could have — and honestly speaking, probably should have — done, and lied.

Austin Neely was probably a friend or an acquaintance of Clara’s — someone her family didn’t really know, but that she could make up a story about dating/being engaged to and became pregnant by before it all fell apart. He would have likely received a payout (probably a rather large payout, given the Thornton’s money and influence) and disappeared from the area and the Thornton’s lives, signing off any responsibility or claim to “their” child before he left.

As a result of this, her child now has a father and doesn’t have to grow up wondering, and Clara avoids the stigma, court case, and general Uproar that would come with attempting to find her attacker. She also, importantly for her, avoids that mess for her child, who will grow up in a semi-normal atmosphere, surrounded by family, not doubting her place in the world — and no one has to know.

Except, of course, one person would know. The head of the family: Charlotte Thornton. From then on, based on this series of events, the story behind Charlotte’s death becomes quite straightforward.

Clara’s paranoia and general cleverness clue her in to the fact that Charlotte has changed her will in Harper’s favor, and is scared out of her mind; having recently experienced a trauma and being pregnant with a child, she’s afraid that she will be left with absolutely nothing, that her machinations with Austin Neely and all her striving will have been for nothing, and she will be cast off, unable to give her child the life she wants to give her.

Compounded by her ground-in fear that she does not belong, she decides to try to settle it with Charlotte — she’s going to scare her, to punish her, and make Charlotte rethink the changed will.

And Charlotte, bearing the weight of the family name and business, not to mention its continued propagation on her shoulders, sees a woman who has been — like her mother — assaulted and left pregnant, whose mental state is already fragile, and who the “revelation” of who Charlotte thinks her true father is would topple her completely — sees poor, pitiable, emotional, suspicious Clara, and refuses.

I think that, more than anything else, would have set Clara off. Remember what she yells at Charlotte’s ghost?

“You had so much, so much, and I had nothing.”

In answering some of the questions about the game, Nik/HER’s response is to say that Clara did not literally light the match that burned Charlotte alive — but we know that Charlotte burned all the same. In the video of her birthday, there are candles; in the dust and soot on the floor where Charlotte died, we see candlesticks. And in the response, again, we know that Charlotte lit the candles for the celebration.

In my ASH meta, I discussed the many meanings of the word “fire” and the term “setting the fire” — and that’s important here too. In this case, the fire was set by Charlotte refusing to reconsider the terms of her will; in her refusal, she probably touched on the same point that she makes in the note in her room — that Clara isn’t stable enough to take over the company. Now, I doubt she would have said that straight to Clara’s face, but even framed as a “you have enough to be going on with and I don’t want to burden you” sort of thing, that just would have reaffirmed all of Clara’s fears — that she was unwanted by the Thornton clan, that her child would be unwanted as a matter of course, and that she would truly have nothing.

And so my guess would be that Clara shoved her. Not hard enough to break anything, not even into a direct flame, but shoved her, and Charlotte jostled the table, and a candelabra fell to the floor, where we see it still in the modern day.

When Nancy sees Charlotte’s ghost out in that house — and yes, I’m firm on that being Charlotte’s actual ghost, as she’s out in the open air so carbon monoxide doesn’t figure in, and there’s no way for that to be Harper/Jessalyn — she burns from the skirt up, which follows with a candle falling to the floor and lighting that incredibly flammable dress on fire.

The last thing to note from HER/Nik’s response is that at the end of the game, Nancy faces the exact same choice that the Thorntons have: to help, or to save herself. In this, we have to look back to Clara and Charlotte, and conclude this: Clara chose not to help. It’s debatable how much help she could have really been — we’re not sure how pregnant she was at the time — or if it even occurred to her until she was already out and chose not to go back in — but at the very least, Clara’s guilt comes not only from the fact that she quarreled with Charlotte right before her death, but that she could have tried to prevent it, and didn’t.

Given the supposition that Charlotte was literally on fire, I really do doubt that getting her out or finding water to throw on her would have been successful, but it doesn’t matter — because Clara looks at it as a choice, and Clara (more importantly) looks at it as the wrong choice, and a choice that she’s been punished for since the day it happened. That’s why, when speaking to Charlotte’s ghost, she says this:

“Haven’t I suffered enough for you?”

The last point I want to make in this OBSCENELY long introduction is about GTH’s place in the pantheon of “Haunting Games”. When you look at the bare-bones (heh) circumstances that make up GTH, you’ll start to see shades of other games.

A relationship/marriage gone a bit wrong, a family secret, an ancestral home, a relative/ancestor whose spectre looms over the story, mysterious apparitions and appearances, and Nancy’s status as an outsider and a skeptic — yeah, both CUR and HAU should come to mind immediately.

Having said my piece about, well, the badness of CUR and HAU and their unsuccessful approach to their basic plot points, it delights me that GTH takes a good hard look at them and says “well, what if we did this well this time? What if we gave our characters the complexity, the emotional resonance, the secrets and lies that we should have the first time?”

Like CUR and HAU, the Family is at the center of the game — except this time we believe in this family, in their relationships to one another, and we feel the effects of the family and their choices, not just hear about it from a diffident 9-year-old or a cranky caretaker. The history of the Thornton clan comes alive through the house, the graveyard, the books and journals that we have of them. We understand what this family is and the choices that they make — even if we don’t approve of them — and they feel real, not just like a background chucked in to Make The Spooky Things Happen.

Also like CUR and HAU, we deal with a central relationship and the complexities that come over two people deciding to get married. Happily, this game (unlike CUR and HAU) treats the central relationship as a thing of Import, and comes to the conclusion that it’s the happiness and well-suitedness of the couple that matters, not the family that surrounds them or anything else. It asks the question “what happens if one person runs away from the relationship?” and answers it, quite satisfactorily, with “there are probably some issues that need ironed out before anything else should happen”.

Interestingly, GTH also takes the good points of CUR and HAU – especially HAU’s atmosphere and CUR’s love of family tidbits — and improves upon them as well. Instead of Jane showing off her studies so that Nancy can solve a few puzzles, Wade walks her through the Thorntons were (at least in his eyes) and helps her get to know the people she’s helping. Instead of being duly impressed at the atmosphere in a bombed-out castle, everywhere on the island is teeming with fog — literal and figurative — as Nancy tries to decode the past to help the future.

Now then, let’s leave the general behind, and focus on the specifics of GTH.

The Title:

Ghost of Thornton Hall is a great title in the way that Secret of the Scarlet Hand is a great title – moody, evocative, gives us our location/focus right away, but not in a way that spoils anything, etc. If anything, it’s a little more flexible – are we dealing with The Ghost of Thornton Hall (Charlotte), the ghost(s) of the Thornton family, the ghosts of those who died on the island, or — in a very fun way — are we talking about the ghost of Thornton Hall — the spirit of the building where so much life and death has happened?

As a title for a Haunting game, you really don’t get much better than GTH, and it centers the player’s attention right where it should be — on the messed up family that the game centers around, and how their past impacts their future.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s phone rings in the middle of the night, with Savannah Woodham’s drawl on the other end, informing her of a kidnapping that’s taken place. She’d go herself, but believes wholeheartedly – and is frightened by — the ghost that’s taken up residence on Blackrock Island, Georgia, and doesn’t believe she’d be enough help.

Of course, this isn’t the whole truth, but we’ll get into that later.

Armed with both her detective skills and her inherent skepticism, Nancy sets off for Georgia to find the missing bride-to-be. Of course, when she gets there, she quickly discovers that the family — and family history — is even murkier and laced with tragedy than the presence of a ghost would suggest, and that, even with everyone searching for Jessalyn Thornton, she is nowhere to be found.

To find her, Nancy has to delve deep into the Thornton family lore, Jessalyn’s relationships with her family and friends – not to mention her preoccupied fiancé — and figure out what really did happen to dear, sweet Charlotte Thornton nearly two decades ago…

GTH, as a mystery, is chock-full of hints, clues, red herrings, and background facts that make figuring out the truth behind everything a joy and a delight — not to mention a task that will take more than one playthrough. GTH is also unique in that its mystery can end in more than one way, and that Nancy’s choices actually have more of an impact than just what souvenir she sends home to her erstwhile boyfriend. Choosing to save herself, to save just the “innocent” (for a certain value of innocence), or to save everyone leads to different endings not just for Nancy but for everyone involved with the Thornton Clan, from its matriarch all the way down to a certain spook-hunting ex-girlfriend.

Underpinning the mystery is this question: did Charlotte really come back as a ghost to haunt Blackrock and the Thorntons, or are her appearances just the result of sneaky relatives and atmospheric maleficence? Can all of the sightings be explained by a mixture of carbon monoxide poisoning, a few relatives playing dress-up, and huge amounts of suggestion and guilt? Is it the case, as Rentaro posited a few games earlier, that a ghost doesn’t have to be real to haunt you?

In a word, no. In a few more words, of course not.

Tying the whole of the ‘haunting’ mysteries together is this (previously mentioned) fact: Nancy is not remarkable for being a Skeptic, she is remarkable for being a Skeptic in a world where ghosts exist. The moving wood (and possibly the silhouette) in MHM, Camille’s ghost dancing along in TRN, the reflection of Kasumi in the water in SAW, the ghost of the Willow in GTH — these are all real, unexplainable-by-tech-or-imagination ghost sightings, and the fact that Nancy doesn’t believe in them doesn’t change their reality one bit.

In the house, you can cite carbon monoxide and Jessalyn/Harper running around in a costume for at least some of them — though not all. But the sightings outside — carbon monoxide does not stay in the system for very long in clear air, blessedly — of Charlotte? The consistency of the spectre? The apparition of her burning up at the site of her birthday party? These aren’t things that you can explain by costume theater — especially since these sightings have been happening for over a decade by people who haven’t stepped foot in Thornton Hall.

When they say that Blackrock belongs to Charlotte and has since the fire, it’s not a literary turn of phrase — Charlotte is there, and refuses to be forgotten. Nancy’s status as a Skeptic prevents her from hysteria, but it does not stop her from being haunted by the Ghost of Thornton Hall.

Now, let’s talk about the players — dead and alive — that make this mystery as complicated and dark as it is.

The Suspects:

Beginning with the matriarch of the Thorntons seems as good a place to start as any, so let’s talk about Clara Thornton. Cousin to Charlotte and Harper, Clara was taken in after her mother’s untimely death (but before her aunt and uncle’s equally untimely deaths) and became the equivalent of a sister in at least Charlotte and Harper’s eyes — though Clara herself was always unsettled and wary about her place in the family.

After the events of Charlotte’s tragic birthday (covered above), Clara visited Charlotte’s grave every night for a year, and was hospitalized after being pushed off of the widow’s walk (more on this later). Whether due to her upbringing or her Thornton blood – or, most likely, both — Clara is secretive, paranoid, wracked with guilt…and a loving mother and extremely capable businesswoman.

Though GTH doesn’t actually have a culprit —Jessalyn wasn’t kidnapped and Charlotte wasn’t murdered — Clara is, as the resident secret keeper and witness to Charlotte’s death, the closest thing that we’ve got. Clara’s sense of guilt is far beyond anything that she could have done, and is haunted so completely as to turn her rather cold.

I have a lot of sympathy for Clara, who made a mistake in a fit of anger (whether that’s pushing Charlotte or just not helping her when she started to burn) at the age of 21 and has been wracked with guilt and haunted by the spectre — real and imagined — of her ‘sister’ ever since (not to mention knowing that her other ‘sister’ blamed and hated her for it). Charlotte died before she had the time to make too many mistakes, but Clara had the entirety of the estate and the business — thousands of people’s livelihoods — thrust into her hand when she was a single mother of 21 years of age. Even had Clara been completely stable, it would have been a lot, and it’s no wonder that she rules the company with an iron fist.

I also want to point out that, due to Harper’s breakdown at the funeral and her afterwards, that even had Charlotte’s second will been found right then, Clara still would have inherited until at least Harper received her bill of mental health, as the closest heir to Charlotte of (legally) sound mind and body.

Let’s talk then about the other heir, Harper Thornton. A fan favorite for a myriad of reasons — her Helena-Bonham-Carter-esque design, her wonderful VA (props to Keri Healey, voice of Hotchkiss, Sally, Paula, Simone, and Madeline!) knocking her lines out of the park, and her dark sense of humor, Harper is, like most of the Thorntons, incredibly unstable, paranoid, violent…an affectionate aunt, and a pretty darn good detective in her own right.

Since GTH doesn’t have a ‘culprit’, Harper stands in her own guilty/not guilty paradigm along with Clara. She had nothing to do with Charlotte’s death personally, but was the one who caused assorted injuries and thousands of dollars in property damage at the funeral, and the one who pushed Clara off the widow’s walk and hospitalized her. Yes, Harper was young — 18 when Charlotte died, but pushing your cousin/sister off of a balcony is wrong at any age.

It’s worth noting that of the three Thornton ‘sisters’, one is guilty of some degree of manslaughter/criminal negligence, and the other of attempted murder. When Charlotte notes that she herself has a dose of the “Thornton paranoia”, she’s not just whistling Dixie.

The biggest problem the Thorntons have, honestly speaking, is that all of them are way too emotional and react without thinking. Clara confronting Charlotte, Charlotte not taking Clara aside to talk about the will, Harper’s injuring of others and blaming/pushing Clara, Wade destroying machinery, Jessalyn disappearing rather than talking things out…none of the Thorntons, past or present, have seemed to think with their brains since the woman who received the land on Blackrock Island after the Civil War in the first place.

In keeping with the theme, I want to talk about Charlotte Thornton next. A girl who inherited the Thornton land and business at way too young an age — I don’t even wanna know why Jackson hated his adult daughter Virginia (and yes, I know that there’s a supposition to this in the “Jackson Theory”, but it’s pure supposition) so much that he would stake the family future on a 20-year-old, no matter how much everyone liked her — after the death of her parents four years prior, Charlotte was the darling of the Thornton family.

Well-liked by everyone with a beautiful singing voice, Charlotte was nonetheless every inch a Thornton; she outright acknowledged her own paranoia, kept secrets and locked rooms closer to her than her family, and had a flair for the dramatic and emotional. After considering her cousin/sister Clara too unstable for the task of inheriting the family Business, Charlotte, rather than turning to her older aunt or naming multiple beneficiaries to ease the load, instead leaves 100% of it to her younger sister Harper.

I do want to point out the irony here in leaving the business to Harper over Clara on the grounds of mental stability. Whatever else Charlotte was good at, she was not a good judge of character, even giving leeway for her being 21.

After her death, Charlotte haunts the family home, unable to leave the place that was, for a year, hers to inherit. But why would ‘dear, sweet’ Charlotte haunt, frighten, and otherwise unsettle those around her — from family to neighbors to curious kids — especially to the extent that she does?

To answer that question, we need to talk about the family member that everyone says is incredibly close to Charlotte in personality — our missing bride, Jessalyn Thornton.

Clara’s daughter, Jessalyn is painted as being a sort of return of Charlotte; everyone loves her (all Thornton employees are combing the island looking for her, for heaven’s sake), everyone agrees on her, and she’s next in line to inherit the Thornton family business. She’s even around Charlotte’s age (24, rather than 21, but close enough) during the game, for heaven’s sake — the comparisons are not subtle, nor are they meant to be.

Since it’s more than halfway through the game that Nancy meets Jessalyn, the things that people say about her are the best clues to her personality that we have…right?

Everyone agrees that Jessalyn would never run off and make people worry like this, that even if she was scared or had second thoughts about the wedding or even just needed to be alone, that she would never do this to her family. And, as it turns out, everyone — her mother, her uncle, her best-friend-cum-fiancé — everyone is wrong. Jessalyn did exactly that — she ran off, made everyone worry, and didn’t think about her family, friends, fiancé, or employees one bit.

It also takes her no effort at all to fully believe a woman she’s never met that her mom is a vicious, cackling murderer just because her (single, incredibly busy) mother is a bit emotionally cold, so she’s also not a great judge of character.

And remember, we’re told over and over again — Jessalyn is just like Charlotte. Sure, Jessalyn is also our Nancy foil in this game — a young woman who needs to learn the truth about her mother, coerced/guided by a quasi-unreliable source, worrying her family by running off — and that’s important for Nancy’s character, but Jessalyn is first and foremost our Charlotte analogue. Jessalyn’s family and friends don’t understand who Jessalyn is…so I think it’s fair to say that Charlotte’s family and friends didn’t understand who Charlotte was, either.

We see Charlotte, through her writings and actions, could be thoughtless, was a poor judge of character, was secretive and paranoid — all things that no one even alludes to when speaking of her. Sure, there’s the idea of not speaking ill of the dead, but someone would have noted these things, even fondly or mildly.

So why would Charlotte haunt this place, haunt these people, when she was so good and kind and loved everyone? The simplest answer, the least convoluted explanation, is just that she wasn’t. That the Thorntons didn’t understand Charlotte, as much as they loved her, just like they didn’t understand Jessalyn.

Speaking of Thorntons who may be misunderstood, we’ll focus on Wade Thornton next. A little more rough-and-tumble and a little less refined than his relatives seem to be, Wade is introspective, superstitious, hard-working, and a bit gloomy…along with having some anger issues, vast amounts of distrust, and a bit of egotism.

Wade’s (at least legally) guilty of a few things in the past, but since he won’t even go into Thornton Hall, he’s a pretty easy cross-off of our list of suspects. Wade’s there to give Nancy information on the Thornton Clan, to provide the explanation as for (partially) why Savannah isn’t there herself, and to show another facet of the Thorntons — their anger.

Whether or not you agree with Wade’s actions that led to Clara pressing charges — though I think everyone can agree it’s pretty stupid to destroy your own family’s machinery, especially when the only danger to the employees was caused by him scaring them half to death — and it highlights that Wade, philosophical though he is, is just as much a Thornton as those he despises. He even calls himself out on it – that while he used to think he was on the side of “Good Thorntons”, he’s not so sure anymore.

The best (serious) line in the game does come from Wade — I will be in love with his description of dating Savannah as “[falling] for her like a Black Tuesday banker” until I die. It’s a perfect metaphor without sounding pretentious, and shows just how bleak his own worldview really is.

Next is The Fiancé, Colton Birchfield, who has the most hilariously WASP-y name to ever come out of a Nancy Drew game. A man who’s struggled with depression and anxiety all his life, Colton was born to two politicians and has lived in the spotlight — and his marriage to Jessalyn is getting just as show-stopper-y as a campaign trail before she disappeared.

I mentioned above that the resolution to Colton and Jessalyn’s relationship is the healthy, sane version of what should have happened in CUR and HAU, and I stand by that. While I don’t necessarily like him going back to Lexi after the game is over — a relationship interrupted by one party being paid off is not the healthy, loving, loyal relationship that Colton needs — it’s clear that he and Jessalyn would have made each other content, but never fulfilled romantically.

Colton’s guilty of nothing more than not being in love with his best friend, and he’s a refreshing breath of air as someone related tangentially to, but not cast down by, the Thornton family drama. He may get less sympathy than our other cast members, but he’s no less deserving of it, and I’m really rooting for him to find someone that will give him the same amount of love and loyalty that he’ll give them.

We’ll journey outside the Thornton family and their (almost) relations for our next ‘suspect’. Addison Hammond, Jessalyn’s friend and bridesmaid, makes a cameo phone appearance here to tell us that Thornton Hall is Totes Spooky, and that Jessalyn vanished not once, but twice in the night.

I quite enjoy Addison, not because she plays a big part or because she’s an exceptional character — she’s as bare-bones as we get in the later games (ignoring MED/SEA/MID), honestly — but because she’s simply a girl in her 20s reacting the way that most of us would if our unnecessarily spooky friend dragged us to an old haunted house and then vanished twice. Good for you, girl.

Coming in for a wonderful appearance is Savannah Woodham, ex-ghost hunter, ex-girlfriend of Wade Thornton, and the detective who was supposed to be on the case. Savannah’s too scared of the Ghost (and too reticent to talk to Wade face-to-face) to risk stepping foot on Blackrock Island herself, but she’s more than willing to send the biggest skeptic she knows, hoping that Nancy’s skepticism will keep her safe.

As lovely as Savannah is in SAW — and I adore her in that game — she really shines in GTH. Probably the biggest moment she gets in the game — and probably my second favorite moment in the game period — is her tale of tracing the shape of the old willow tree on her wall, only to have a body discovered under that exact willow tree after a storm. It’s a delightfully creepy — and most importantly, completely inexplicable by any means other than accepting that the supernatural exists — moment, and I think it’s key to understanding Savannah as a character in GTH.

Savannah suffers under the weight of knowing that there truly are Things that Go Bump in the Night, that can’t be arrested or captured or gotten rid of by normal, legal means. Her background knowledge of the Thorntons helps Nancy to get an initial feel for the family, and it helps to not have an ex-girlfriend wandering around that the Thorntons might have a grudge against or dislike for.

She is, in effect, the mirror image of Nancy — what Nancy might have become without her inborn skepticism — and that alone, even ignoring everything else about her, is fascinating to me.

Our other phone contacts are Ned Nickerson and Bess Marvin, teamed up due to George’s absence while doing an internship (at Technology of Tomorrow Today, no less!) and Bess’ extreme boredom without anyone else to hang out with.

The lovely thing about Ned and Bess is that we get to see Ned when he’s not Solo Boyfriend Ned, but a college guy hanging out with his friend. Their light-hearted banter is hilarious and comfortable (Bess dramatically asking permission to do a spit-take in his living room is of particular note), and we really get to see a different side of Nancy’s oft-abandoned boyfriend.

You can tell that their voice actors are having a terrific time as well (Scott Carty’s pitch-perfect imitation of Jennifer Pratt’s cadence and tone makes me laugh every time), and it really helps bring a bright and colorful spot to this otherwise rather tense and grim mystery.

We’ll round out our character list with the quasi-amateur, quasi-professional detective herself, Nancy Drew. Through her foil with Jessalyn — discussed above, so I won’t get too into it here — we get to see Nancy in a slightly different light, and get to look at the effect that she has on those around her when she disappears.

We know Carson and Ned (and occasionally Bess/George, and even more occasionally, Hannah) worry about Nancy while she’s off on a case, but this is the first time Nancy herself is dealing with what she leaves behind every time she jets off to Venice, or gets trapped in a lava tube, or lost in a rock maze. Nancy hasn’t investigated a straight-up kidnapping (or what appears to be one) since Maya in FIN (no, I’m not counting HAU, as it’s not played as a kidnapping nor does anyone think it is until 2/3 of the way through the game), and she has the same sense of urgency here that she did back then.

Upon replaying the game, the player will lose that sense of urgency for Jessalyn — we know she’s alive and well, and was never kidnapped — but Nancy’s reactions to the family are what stay interesting. She’s concerned for Jessalyn, but does most of her detective work through getting a sense of what the rest of the family thinks of the missing girl.

Given Nancy’s reputation as a good girl, a solid presence (if an occasional one) who loves her family and friends, and who is always responsible, it’s easy to see why she misses the one question that would have helped her solve the case in half of the time: what if Jessalyn isn’t missing? After all, Jessalyn, like Nancy, would never jet off after hearing an unsubstantiated claim about her mother without telling anyone or pausing to confirm it through a different, more trustworthy source, right?

In this game, we discover a huge characteristic about Nancy: she is reckless. Now, we know this already from other games — that Nancy is reckless physically, confronting bad guys alone, diving down into murky catacombs, jumping from pillars in ancient tombs — but here we see that she’s also reckless emotionally. Even though it interferes with her investigation, Nancy gets personally involved in this case; she’s mad at Colton for “cheating” on Jessalyn, she’s upset by the tragedy of Charlotte’s death, and she’s concerned for Jessalyn’s safety in a different way than she usually is with a victim or suspect.

Nancy’s always been willing to take huge risks, but she always stays emotionally on the surface level of a case — a good and necessary trait for a detective, and one that allows her to face down killers, saboteurs, and forgers without blinking. Here, Nancy’s dragged down into the web of the Thorntons, and — as we see in the middle and bad endings especially — she doesn’t quite recover from it. Nancy loses a bit of objectivity here, but what she gains is humanity — and she’ll need that for the last two games in this meta series.

The Favorite:

With such a well-executed game — even though it doesn’t fall in my personal top 5 ranking — there’s going to be a lot to love, so let’s get down to it.

My favorite puzzle is probably Nancy’s trek to ‘discover’ the ‘ghost’ — aka completing Harper’s tasks in order to meet her, culminating with reciting Charlotte’s rhyme while blindfolded. It’s a different kind of puzzle than the type we get commonly with Nancy Drew games, and really helped spark and keep the tension needed to maintain such a spooky game.

My favorite moment in the game is a quieter one — it’s Nancy’s remarks on Charlotte’s room. She’s taken aback at how, after a game of everyone talking about Charlotte, that it’s opening the door to her room that cements Charlotte as a living, breathing person. She continues that she can’t let that feeling distract her, that she needs to treat the room like the rest of the house and gather tools that will let her find Jessalyn, but it’s lovely to see the effect of the Thornton’s history really settle into Nancy’s bones as Charlotte Thornton turns from a scary rhyme that children chant to a girl who lived and died in the same walls that Nancy’s exploring.

There are, of course, other things that I love — the objectively creepy poem (“we’ll let you share with Charlotte/a gown of coal and glowing flame” is an incredible line), Savannah’s story about the willow tree, the small Francy crumbs of Frank being sullen after his Very Revealing voicemail in DED and considering an MBA, the multi-layered relationship that Wade and Savannah have, the gorgeous detail of Thornton Hall — and all of these add up to a game that’s frankly just enjoyable to play.

The big thing to mention in this game, as I talked a bit about in the intro, is its atmosphere.

Throughout the entire game, there’s this palpable feeling of death and grief and loss and pure pain, and those emotions are what GTH relies on to keep itself Scary, not the few spectre scares and swinging scythes that it also has to offer.

I don’t normally quote things other than the games/words of the cast and crew in these metas, but I do make exceptions when the quotation is this good, so I tip my hat here to Tumblr user aniceworld, speaking about ranking GTH their top Nancy Drew game of all time:

“The reason GTH is so successful as a scary game is because there’s such a pervasive sense of sorrow at Thornton Hall. People have died here who shouldn’t have. A family has been destroyed. The house has seen so much trauma it can literally no longer stand on its own. There are ghosts that live here, whether you can see them or not.”

This horror is far better than bloody slashers or obnoxious “continuous mysterious accidents”-style thrillers that tend to permeate the genre; instead of random death-by-umbrella or scary-guy-in-the-shower incidents driving the plot, the emotion behind death and loss and betrayal gets to take a turn at the wheel, and the game is much better for it.

The Un-Favorite:

As with any game, however, no matter how good the atmosphere, there are some things that I don’t love.

I’m not actually the biggest fan of Harper; while her design is great and her VA does a spectacular job, she’s a little cartoonish among a cast that endeavors to stay as far away from broad stereotypes as possible.

It’s fine to have a large personality, it’s fine that she’s a bit cracked, it’s great that she has her own reasons and motivations beyond “expose the truth” (especially since she’s not interested in exposing the truth, just in proving that Clara’s a murderer) — she’s just really not my cup of tea, and I prefer Harper as the Anonymous Note Leaver to Harper the Conversational Partner.

Even if she does get some of the best lines in the game.

I don’t really have a least favorite moment or puzzle that sticks out to me; there are puzzles I struggle more or less with, but none of them are immersion-breaking or so frustrating that I have to get up and walk away. The ones I love, I enjoy solving; the ones I don’t love, I turn to the walkthrough and finish them up to get on with the story.

The Fix:

So how would I fix Ghost of Thornton Hall?

Even given my small problems with Harper, I’m not sure I’d change her. Sure, she’s a bit Broad for the game, generally speaking, but she’s also another example of what loss can do to a person — it can make you cold and withdrawn, it can make you righteously angry and dismissive…or it can turn you malicious and violent. She’s an important presence regardless of my personal taste, and while I might tweak a line of dialogue or two, it’s important to note that her Persona is just another thing for Nancy to discover and re-discover as she investigates the Thorntons.

While not a perfect game — very few, if any, of the Nancy Drew games qualify for that title — Ghost of Thornton Hall is an excellent entry in the Nancy Drew series as a whole, and in the smaller series of Nancy-centric games. Through it, we get to see what happens to those who are left behind after a tragic, sudden, and even violent loss — and that becomes more and more important as we leave behind the gloomy Georgia island and leap across the pond to Glasgow.

[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It - Episode II: The Talk

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing, slight Implied smut

Word Count: 2928

Summary: What happens when a dad has to have a tough conversation with a 5 year old about something he may never experience?

Point of View: Chris Evans 

Authors Note: It has been a while since I’ve written so please bear with my rustiness, and there’s slight edits so there may be errors. RIP Chadwick Boseman. 

Disclaimer: This is about to be super dramatic and very fluffy. Also italicized is a flashback.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss if you would like to join the taglist message me.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

I Just Don’t Understand...

As I walk into the house i was having a hard time processing what had just happened on the other side of the door and having a screaming child, barking dog and the anxiety monster on my back isn’t helping.

And I swore I put the heater on but the house was cold and empty.

“Delilah give daddy a minute sweetheart” I told my crying baby girl.

She cried as loud as she could as I sat her down on the couch with a now whimpering Dodger at her feet 

As I paced trying to think, the commotion around me was crippling, I just couldn’t endure the pain my entire body was in, I was in a state of powerlessness.

I’m always prepared especially for moments like these, but at the amount my ability to think was out of the window when I realized i was not mentally prepared for this. Doing the next best thing I called in reinforcements.

the phone rang four times before he picked up “Chris this better be damn important and why is my niece screaming like she’s dying?” Austin said on the other line.

I sighed running my hands through my hair “It’s Maya, she just got arrested in driveway and I don’t know what to do an- quiet down sweetheart, it’ll be alright.” I said.

I sat down on the couch laid Dede on my chest as I tried my best to calm her down, and keep myself together.

“Hold on, What do you mean arrested, what did she do.” Austin asked in shock now giving me his full attention.

Who is Austin you may ask?

Well he is our attorney...

Who also happens to be a prosecutor for the Southern District of New York...

Oh and did mention he’s Maya’s older brother.

Of course I told him everything I knew and then some.

I thanked the heavens when I turned on Frozen and Delilah calmed down to a sniffle, i started to feel like I had some control of the situation.

“That’s some bullshit man, ok listen I’ve gotta make some calls, don’t go to the station, don’t call for her or pick up any calls from the police station, just let me handle it and I’ll text you when it’s taken care of got it?” Austin said

I sighed “Alright we can do that” Austin chuckles “look I know that feeling of being helpless right now, and it’s all gonna be alright, she’s gonna back home tonight, so just relax, this is just something we sadly have to go through, I’ll be over this weekend to check on her” I nodded like he could see me and we hung up.

I took a deep breath and rubbed Delilah’s back and a few tears escaping from my eyes as looked at Elsa save Anna at the end of frozen. I wiped my face because I had to stay strong for my baby girl and I looked down at her.

“Hey Lilah how about some pizza for dinner tonight?” I asked her, nodding her head she wiped her nose mumbling that she was gonna take a bath.

She reminded more and more of her mom everyday from her big brown eyes to her high cheeks and button nose she was becoming just like the woman love.

When she got up all I could think about was when Maya was pregnant with Delilah.

—————

Maya laid on the bed rubbing her belly looking at me with an annoyed look on her face.

“Chris I’m being serious there is going be a day when we are going to have to face the reality that we will have to talk about race relations with our little peanut” Maya said.

I chuckle as i walking out of our connected bathroom leaning against the doorframe looking in adoration of her infatuation with her little belly.

“Babe I understand that trust me I’ve read more how to raise a multiracial baby books than I can count” I said. She looks at me I’m like I’m crazy and rolls her eyes.

“Maya I’m joking but don’t you think its a bit early to having these conversation the baby isn't even here yet babe.” I sighed 

Shaking her head she gets up from the bed “well that was a terrible joke Chris and it's never too early to think ahead especially since, I may not always be around so you have to be one to be prepared.” She said.

She steps in front of the vanity mirror in our room stripping the red satin body hugging dress she wore from our dinner date tonight. I know what she was doing but I couldn’t focus on how beautiful her glow was because of how morbid she was acting.

Walking to her from the door frame, I got up behind her and wrapped my arms around her softly rubbing her belly. “Don’t say that, we are going to be together till infinity you better believe that.” I placed my chin on her shoulder and kissed her check.

She whispered sadly “Chris I do believe that, It’s just statics show that black women are 3x more likely to die in childbirth than white women, I just want you to be prepared” I groaned.

She reminds me that deathening fact at least once a week but I keep my cool stood up straight and grabbed her hands, placing them on her belly while intertwining them with mine.

We caught each other's gaze in the mirror, her pregnancy glow makes me want to make sure she keeps popping out babies. The way her skin glistened under our dimmed lights and how soft she felt under my touch to her sweet smell Lavender, this woman was my world.

“Look I refuse to leave that hospital without you ok. Maya I don’t know what I’d do if I were to lose you” I softly respond 

“Now repeat after me we are going to have a beautiful, healthy, happy baby girl and we are leaving that hospital together.” I say as we held an intense gaze through the mirror in front of us.

She chuckles “I still think our little peanut will be a boy but I guess we’ll find out in a few days” I let out a gut busting laugh. “Whatever you say my love” I kiss her shoulder then the sweet spot behind her ear

I whispered in her ear “maybe we can start you know practicing for that baby boy right now?” 

I stand, slowly pushing her back down bending her in front of the vanity with her hands on the chair, I move my hands to her hip and sent a smack to her ass.

She sucked her teeth “Don’t think you’re slick we aren’t done with this conversation” she moans as I gently rub her clit. I chuckled and got to work.

———————

I concluded that without her no matter how much we’ve prepared there is no way I was ready to handle situations like these especially alone.

By the time the pizza gets here I’ve emptied the groceries from Maya’s car, feed Dodger and changed the movie.

When I came into the kitchen Delilah was on her little step stool gabbing the plates then the cheese and utensils.

I raised an eyebrow very confused as to when my little girl was becoming a big girl.

“When did you become so independent Dede” I said give each of us two slices

She gave me a said smile and said “I just watch mommy do it.” She shrugged

We walk in to the living room and I started Princess and the Frog or Delilah’s favorite movie.

We sat in silence for a bit and then sniffling again she asked “daddy why did they take mommy today”

This is the talk I’ve been dreading it was something Maya and I agreed we’d give her when she was 10 and we’d give it together.

When we talk about it all Maya would say was “you will know what to say when the time comes at least that’s what my mom says”

Yet all I could do was look at those big brown eyes and hesitate, i paused the movie, grabbed her hand and just went off the cuff with what came from the heart.

I sigh “look at our hands do you see any difference?”

She nodded “yeah mommy says she dark chocolate, you’re white chocolate and I’m a cute Caramel, we are all different but we all love the same” 

I laugh, it would be like my wife to be teaching me while she wasn’t here.

We put our plates down and scooted closer to each other still holding hands.

I hesitate again “the thing is sweetheart there are some but not all people in this world and a lot of them are white chocolate like me and they don’t like that mommy is dark chocolate so they do mean things to them like what happened today.” She nodded with her processing the information face.

“Ok daddy but why aren’t more white chocolate people like you, mommy didn’t do anything we just got ice cream.” She asked still somewhat confused with the entire situation.

My little peanut is one of the smartest cookies I know and I forget sometimes that she is still only 5. It pains me to see that she even with how bright she is she is still too young to fully comprehend the severity of the situation.

“That I don’t know but I do know that mommy’s gonna be ok and that no matter what I love you and mommy more than anything In the world” I said with a reassuring smile.

“One more question since I-I am Caramel and not white chocolate like you would that happen to me” she asked.

This is the dreaded question as a father you don’t want to see your kids in pain you want them happy but the reality is that the one thing I’ve learned with being with Maya is  that being black in a white America isn’t easy.

Running my hand through my hair the wrapped my arm around her “It may happen Lilah but mommy and I will do everything in our power to make sure you are ready for those moments, but right now just worry about being a kid and we’ll take care of the rest.” She nodded and I kissed her forehead.

We continued our movie session and sat in silence until the end of the movie when Delilah wanted to watch Moana.

It was midnight on school night but I decided that Delilah wasn’t going to school tomorrow and I let my assistant know to relay the message that I was not coming to set tomorrow. So I turned on the next movie.

Half-way through I got a text from Austin

------------------------------------------------------

                        11/25/2020 12:49am

Austin: Hey bro just got off the phone with the Boston PD precinct Maya’s at she’ll be released in about one hour and she good go

Chris: Thank You, I’m on my way.

------------------------------------------------------

I wanted to cheer so loud but Dede and Dodger were asleep, so I called my parents to drop Delilah off which my mom agreed happily.

After dropping Dede off at my parents who I am still shocked were still awake this late, I headed to the precinct, my body was shaking with nerves. When I got there I parked and rushed inside.

When the front desk lady began speak I cut her off “I’m here for Maya Alonso-Evans” she looked at me like she was gonna scream with excitement but I guess my face said it all.

She escorted me to the back “Chief Demilio will see you now” my hands were sweaty I knocked and heard a come in.

Walking into the office there she sat with dry tear stains on her face, looking disheveled, she ran to me and threw her hands around me as she started to cry some more.

“its gonna alright baby I’m here” I whispered and hugged her back tightly.

“Hello Mr. Evans thank you for joining us we are just wrapping up here, would you like to take a seat” the weird looking man behind the mahogany desk asked.

I ushered her back to her previous seat and I stood behind her placing my jacket on her shoulder as I rub them softly “no I’m good with standing” I say with a menacing face.

He clears his throat and looks at us awkwardly “ok then, on the behalf of Boston PD we would like to  give our sincerest apologies for the inconvenience of this mix up and the officers will be dealt with accordingly.” I raised an eyebrow at his shortness and at the sorry ass apology we were getting.

“Ok so what is going to happen to these officers then?” I ask with my hands still on Maya’s shoulders trying to keep both of us calm.

He smirks “one will be put on administrative leave for the next month and the other indefinitely until we can get this all sorted” he says to us show us the file.

Maya sighs an exasperated sigh looking as if she could pass out right there.

I speak up “that’s it the are getting a paid vacation?” I asked highly confused at this situation.

“The board thinks due to the incidents in this case that this is best punishment we can give them, we know your upset Mr. Evans but you must look at the circumstances” he says talking down to me as my breathing began to pick up.

I chuckled “the only circumstances I see was my wife being falsely accused for a crime that she didn't commit and being arrested in front our 5 year old daughter wh-“ Maya put her hand up cutting me off speaking for the first time since I got there. 

Placing her hand on top of mine “It’s ok Chris I just wanna go home” she got up grabbed my keys out of my hand and without another word walked out and I followed right behind her shaking my head.

She got her things they took before they booked her and we headed to the car, I opened the door for her she quietly thanked me and we started our journey home.

The first 10 minutes was a comfortable silence then I decided to break it.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it “honey you alright?” I know it was an awful question to ask but something had to be said.

She shrugged her shoulders “I am just exhausted right now all I want is food, maybe some sex and a good cuddle with Delilah, did you leave her with your parents” she ask now checking her phone.

I nodded “Dede asked me if what happen to you would happen to her” we were now at a red light and looked at each other.

Maya groaned and rubbed her forehead “what did you say?” She looked at me again

I let out a heavy breathe “I just told her it could happen and that we’d deal with it when she got a little older and that not all people are like the men from today.” I started tapping the steering wheel with my left hand, I was nervous.

she let out a relieved sigh “Ok that works” was all she said and I looked at her confused.

She chuckled “What? You did your best among the circumstances. Isn’t that what the police chief said back there” she rolled her eyes and I laughed at her sly remark.

“There goes my baby. Have you heard from Austin yet?” I ask turning on our street.

Then she laughed “yeah he called me while I was in a holding cell to let me know when I’d be let out.. You know his frat brother is the attorney general of Massachusetts” I chuckled and pulled to the driveway.

Once I parked, I got out and opened her door and she asked me to carry her in, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked us into our home.

With her looking at me as I focused on getting us both up the stairs she starts kissing me all over my face “Hey I know you wish you could’ve done more babe but you did what’s most important and that be a father to our beautiful daughter.” She said as we reached our room.

I dropped her on our California King and stood between her legs rubbing her thighs.

She sat up rubbing the hair on the back of my neck “You are the rock to my roll you make me feel safe and today you protected me the best you could, I love you papi remember that” she softly kissed my lips.

Her lips tasted like sin and strawberry lip balm. Her back felt like velvet as I ran my hands up her warm body and into her hair pulling on it softly. As our kiss deepened, her embrace felt like home to me and I would not know what I’d do if had loss her tonight.

I whispered back “I love you to the moon and back my love”

Many people do not agree with our relationship and don’t understand why I’d choose Maya over all the other women I could be with. But this was my choice to make and I wouldn't change a thing. However, for those who disagree with me.

Fuck Them!

[47-shades-of-hitman]

Seven days of Valentine with Agent 47 | Day 7 | SFW

Day 7 - The joys of parenthood | SFW

Babies don’t care that it’s Valentine’s Day...

Warnings: None

Link to my Hitman-related Discord server

Your heart swelled with pride as you stood on the threshold of Victoria’s room, fondly smiling at the scene unfolding in front of you.

Agent 47 finished up changing your young daughter’s diaper, tickling her nose and belly in the process. Victoria smiled widely, wiggling around, keening in joy as her father leaned down and kissed her forehead and her chubby cheeks, murmuring some sweet words to her.

Biting your bottom lip, you pondered if you had ever felt as happy as right now, on this very moment, witnessing the two people who you held closest to your heart interact so delightfully.

47 pulled back from snuggling the baby and proceeded to fasten her romper before helping her into her pyjamas for the night. He picked her up and rested her against his chest, one hand gently under her butt, the other on the back of her head as he kept her close.

“All set now.” 47 announced, walking over to you. “Gonna say goodnight to mommy, babygirl?”

Vicky keened as she saw you, reaching out to be heaved over into your arms. Agent 47 leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek before going to throw out the dirty diaper, leaving you for a moment to cuddle with the baby.

“You’re so fresh and clean, aren’t you?” you mused, “You’re growing up so fast…” You kissed her face all over, making her smile.

Walking her over to her crib, you carefully laid her down, leaning down to cuddle her a bit more. Agent 47 reappeared at your side, putting a hand on your lower back.

It was a ritual you two had been performing for a few months now – bidding your daughter goodnight by peppering her in kisses before unavoidably having to withdraw yourselves from her room and deal with her cries and woes for being left alone.

It was always difficult, but you had to go through it. You just hoped that those cuddles beforehand were enough to make sure that she knew that you loved her, and that you’d be back in a few hours to breastfeed her.

Agent 47 nuzzled her for a bit, too, before coaxing you to step back and leave her to sleep. Victoria immediately began to fuss, on the verge of crying as you left her in her room, baby monitor on as well as a bed light and a music box.

You left the door open just slightly so you wouldn’t wake her upon peeking in later, sighing at the sound of Vicky starting to cry.

47 took your hand in his and guided you downstairs, knowing how difficult you found it to leave her alone.

“I know,” he told you, “I know.” Upon arriving in the living room you embraced him and laid your head against his chest in order to drown out her wails a little bit, even though the baby monitor was still on, echoing through the lounge as well.

47 slipped his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “It will get better over time.” “I know.” you whispered. “In a few years, we might even be able to celebrate Valentine’s Day again the way we used to, as soon as she sleeps entire nights.”

An amused huff left him and he cupped your cheeks, tucking some strands of hair behind your ears fondly. “Who said that we cannot celebrate the way we were used to do right now? The fact that there’s a crying baby doesn’t change anything.”

You laughed lightly and leaned up to press a lingering kiss to his lips, Victoria’s cries finally decreasing a little. “Having a child changes a lot, actually.” you told him.

“Well, it doesn’t change the way I feel about being with you, (Y/n). If anything, it only increases the love I feel.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Oh, 47…” you murmured, “I love you so much.” “And I love you.”

You connected your mouth to his in a crushing kiss and felt his tongue soon slide over your bottom lip. You gladly allowed him entrance, your fingers soon reaching up to pop the first buttons of his shirt, gently tugging at his already loosened tie.

His hands slipped down to gently squeeze your ass and you let out a surprised sound, causing him to chuckle into the kiss. That cheeky action caused you to reach for his belt in turn, undoing it with practised ease, brushing over his semi-erect, covered cock through his slacks. 47 deeply hummed, pulling back to look at you.

“Two can play that game, (Y/n)…” “Hm?” you mused with feigned innocence, letting your index finger slip against the growing bulge, “What game?”

His hand was already half way up your shirt when you noticed that Victoria had stopped crying altogether.

Good, you thought, for you were yearning to have her father all to yourself for a bit. However, your anticipated pleasure was brief.

A shrill cry from upstairs pulled you out of your pleasant haze, and you reluctantly pulled away from 47’s embrace. It was unusually loud, and your maternal instincts told you that something was up.

“I’ll go.” you whispered, rushing towards the hall and up the stairs.

Switching on the lights introduced you to your crying daughter, covered in what seemed to be her own vomit. “Oh, baby…” you muttered, immediately going over to her crib to lift her out of it. She was as limp as a ragdoll and barely responded to you picking her up, still crying albeit a bit weaker than before.

“Is everything alright?” 47 quizzed behind you, and you shook your head, holding Victoria against you even though it wouldn’t leave your shirt unscathed. “It seems like she puked. Could it have been the food?”

47 walked over and put a gentle hand against her forehead. “She’s really warm. Could be the flu as well, but we can’t be sure. I’ll check out the porridge later, but let’s just clean this up first.”

“Could you change the covers on her bed? I’ll wash her up and put her in a clean pair of pyjamas.”

“Of course.” 47 responded, immediately getting to it. The babe in your arms had yet to stop weeping and the sound of your heartbeat lulled her somewhat, but you had to clean her up before she could sleep any further.

You went to the bathroom and let the shower run, lukewarm water cascading down. As carefully as you could – Victoria was still barely upholding – you stripped her of her clothes, tossing them into the sink to rinse out later.

“She’s barely got any strength.” you sighed, taking the showerhead in order to softly rinse your naked baby of the smelly, semi-translucent puke.

“She will be fine, don’t worry.” 47 assured you, heading for the sink to soak the sheets. You hummed in acknowledgement, soon finishing washing up the babe.

You dried her with a soft towel and were about to hold her against you, but 47 warned you right in time. “Sweetheart, your shirt.” you looked down and saw remnants of her throw-up.  “Ah, of course.” 47 took her from you and she began to get a little fussy, but as soon as you had taken off your shirt, you were able to hold her against your bare skin, calming her instantly.

“Why don’t you go sit downstairs with her, (Y/n)? I’ll clean this all up and put some fresh sheets on her bed.” “Okay,” you said, because you realised that you had to feed her, especially after this situation.

You went downstairs and sat on the sofa, propping a cushion under your elbow so you could position your child comfortably against your breast, bearing it. Victoria was eager and began drinking soon enough. You rubbed at her cheek, concernedly gazing down at her whilst you heard 47 rummage upstairs.

“That makes you feel better.” you mused at her, “Getting sick happens to the best of us. Even daddy feels under the weather sometimes. Rarely, but he does.”

Vicky understood nothing of what you were telling her, but being close to her mother made her sleepy once again. Agent 47 entered the lounge, shirtless, for the crisp white overshirt he wore had been dirtied in the process of washing up as well.

“Everything is all set now.” he told you, “So as soon as she’s ready, I can bring her back upstairs.”

You nodded and smiled at him. “She seems to be feeling a little better. At least she’s thirsty.”

47 walked over to the two of you and sat down next to you, leaning over to look at Victoria happily drinking. “Mommy is taking such good care of you, isn’t she?” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Your mommy is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

You blushed and looked at him, causing him to press a soft kiss to your lips. “Well, I wouldn’t be able to do all this if I didn’t have such an amazing husband by my side.”

“I suppose we complete each other. Your mommy completes me, Victoria. Thanks to her, I’m more human than I’ve ever been. She gives me a live I didn’t even consider living before I met her and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Vicky looked up at 47, as if she understood everything he was telling her. His words made your mind soar and you doubted anything could ever knock you off that pink cloud you were sitting on right now.

You gently dabbed a bib under Victoria’s mouth as she was done drinking. Her eyes fluttered shut even though she tried for them to remain open, but exhaustion took the better of her.

In all fairness, you were close to falling asleep yourself as well. Tiredly, you smiled at the baby dozing off in your arms, covering up your breast again with one hand. “She’s growing up so fast.”

“She is.” 47 said. “Shall I bring her to bed, then?” “Okay.” you said, handing him Victoria, but not before pressing another kiss to her forehead.

You remained on the sofa, listening to the sounds on the baby monitor of 47 putting his daughter back into her crib, whispering a few sweet words to her. That same feeling you had felt at the start of the evening surged through your body again.

“I guess something did change ever since we got a baby.” you said as 47 joined you downstairs again, his blue eyes beautifully shimmering as they found yours. “What is it?”

Putting a hand in front of your mouth to cover up your yawn, you stretched. “I feel like I could sleep like a baby right now. Taking care of a child is difficult.”

47 sat down next to you and smiled. “It is. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

You hummed, snuggling against him. “Agreed. I suppose we can continue what we started earlier at a later time, hm?”

An amused laugh left the hitman now wrapping his arms around you. “Tomorrow won’t be Valentine’s Day anymore.”

“Luckily it’s not necessary to be Valentine’s in order to have sex.”

A pleasant silence fell over you and you laid your head against 47’s chest, listening to his calm heartbeat.

“Carry me upstairs, too?” you whispered. He chuckled against the top of your head, kissing it. “

“Certainly, sweetheart. I’ll tuck you in, too.”  

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Happiness Continues

Part 3: 8 Weeks Pregnant

Summary: Jensen and his wife get their first glimpse of their growing baby.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 2.6K+

Warnings: Language, brief descriptions of internal ultrasound, pregnancy related emotions

Author’s Note: This part is a little shorter than the others, but that doesn’t mean it won’t leave its impact on the story. Thanks again to @emoryhemsworth for giving this a once over, love you babes. As always, I love to hear what you all thought. Reactions, theories, or just plain flailing, I love it all xoxo Alex

“Brb crying,” @emoryhemsworth

Catch up with the series masterlist and then check out Alexandra’s Library for more by yours truly!

There was absolutely nothing glamorous about being pregnant. Y/n now stood by that statement and if anyone tried to convince her otherwise, well, she might just stab them with a fork. That’s where she was at this point. Granted, she was still in her first trimester, but she was adamant about it sucking. 

First of all, the baby wouldn’t let her eat a thing. She had figured out how to control the smells quickly. They still tended to make her stomach churn, but at least she could stave off the actual vomiting. Mostly, it was anytime there was a strong scent in her general vicinity; anything distinct enough for her to detect what it was could trigger something. Unfortunately for her, that included her husband’s cologne, a scent that happened to be both of their favorites. That was awkward when he walked out of their bedroom one morning all pressed and ready to go for the day, coming to hug his wife goodbye only to have her cringe and run away to the bathroom to lose the contents of her stomach. 

For the past three weeks, though, she had been living on a diet of ginger ale, peppermint tea, and sugar-free hard candies. Her stomach would turn out just about anything else and, to be honest, its preferences for what it could handle changed daily and Y/n had given up trying. Every meal was a new adventure for her and the baby. Her hours of scouring the internet for something, anything, for her to eat were wasted. Their baby did not care for anything.

Hiding her symptoms was becoming increasingly easier, though. With it still being so early, and not having even seen a doctor yet, both her and Jensen were wary to tell anyone. Call them superstitious, but they didn’t want to jinx anything just yet. Besides, it was kind of nice basking in the news just the two of them. It reminded them of the start of their relationship, only this secret wouldn’t end in a fist to a jaw... hopefully. As far as they knew, no one was suspicious of anything in both their friends and family as well as coworkers in her office. 

Y/n stood in their bedroom, the dawn light peering in through the curtains as she examined herself in the mirror. Lately, she had been sleeping like a cat, but today her anxiety was in full force. The woman had tossed and turned all night, finally deciding to crawl out of bed and jump into the shower when the sun first made its appearance over the horizon. It was no use trying to sleep anymore. 

As she stood there, turned to one side, she ran a hand over her lower abdomen. If she cocked her head just right, she could have sworn she noticed the start of what would ultimately be a massive balloon in the middle of her stomach. Though, to be fair, she could also be imagining it. The mind sees what it wants to, right?

The sound of the sheets ruffling had her snapping her head around to her husband who still lay in bed. He stretched out his long limbs, the longer locks on the top of his head mussed from his night’s sleep. He blinked a few times as he woke, quick to take in the looming figure of his wife at the foot of the bed. A smirk graced his features as his eyes traveled up her bare legs, noticing all she had on was a pair of panties. 

“Mmm, I’ll take this wake up call any day.” His voice was husky with sleep. His wife rolled her eyes but climbed up on the bed anyway, crawling into his waiting arms and laying against his bare chest. 

Y/n sighed as she nuzzled into him, “I can barely go ten minutes without being either exhausted or needing to vomit, so unless you have some sort of The Exorcist fetish I don’t know about, then I’m gonna have to decline.” 

“Ugh, god,” Jensen scrunched up his nose, pushing his wife away from him as he climbed from the bed. She laughed, chasing after him into their master bathroom. Y/n slipped her arms around his waist, pulling his back against her bare chest and placing a kiss between his shoulder blades. The pressure against her sore breasts was uncomfortable right now, but not unbearable. This one was her new least favorite symptom of pregnancy. 

“You nervous about today?” He whispered, grabbing her hands with his own and threading their fingers together. 

Y/n let out a huff of air, the action sending goosebumps across Jensen’s skin. Of course, he had picked up on her anxiety. “Yeah, and excited. I don’t know this kind of makes it all real, you know?” 

“I do.” He pulled her hand up and kissed the back of her knuckles before releasing her. He turned around in her arms to lean in and press his lips against hers. Y/n leaned into her husband, taking full advantage of having him close to her. 

Jensen pulled away, running his tongue over the swell of his lower lip and cocking his head. “Why do you taste like a bag of Warheads?” 

“Oh, I woke up to my stomach rolling and the only thing I had within reach was the sour candies I bought last week. It actually helped a lot.” Y/n smiled sheepishly. If she thought about it long enough, she had eaten plenty of those candies to quell her stomach enough before she could even sit up in bed so it shouldn’t be surprising her husband could still taste them on her. 

“I’m not gonna lie, I kind of like it.” He flashed her a grin that was all teeth before lunging to kiss her again. His wife laughed, shaking her head at all the boyish charm she had fallen in love with shining through so early in the morning. “Alright, I need to shower. Go, make yourself some tea, and try to eat something real for me.” 

Y/n scrunched up her nose as he smiled at her. She didn’t want to eat, her already flimsy stomach on overdrive today, but for her husband, she would try, muttering an exaggerated ‘all right’ as he started the shower. The woman trudged her way back out to the bedroom, finishing getting dressed for the day in her comfiest sweats, before retreating to the kitchen to make herself some tea and buttered toast. It had been a week since she had tried toast, not willing to touch the stuff after the incident, so she hoped it was a safe bet. 

As the kettle came to a boil and the toaster did its magic, Y/n looked out the large window onto their courtyard. The rising sun was casting elegant patterns against the white stucco of their house and dancing along the surface of the pool. 

Y/n had scheduled the first appointment of the day with her doctor because she knew that she would be up early anyway. They still had time before they needed to leave their house, which Jensen would use to his advantage, taking extra time in the shower and getting dressed. Y/n on the other hand had already done that, so now she was trying to figure out something to occupy her mind until her husband made an appearance in the kitchen. When it seemed her breakfast was not going to make a reappearance, at least for now, she decided to put on some coffee for him and started the pan to make him an omelet. 

Y/n was slipping the eggs onto a plate when Jensen made his appearance in the kitchen. 

“You didn’t have to make me breakfast, I know how your stomach has been.” Jensen came up to her side and put his hand on the small of her back. 

“I’m surprisingly okay this morning. Must be some sort of anxiety override.” She laughed as he kissed her cheek. Y/n grabbed him a fork as he turned to pour himself a cup of coffee. She slid the plate across the island as he sat down across from her. 

“I was thinking,” Y/n spoke up from behind her mug of tea, “I mean, I know it’s still far too early, but I don’t want to find out the sex.” 

“No?” Jensen quirked a brow at her, his mouth full of his breakfast, muffling the word on his tongue. 

“There are few mysteries left in this world most days, and I just think this is one that would be exciting.” 

“That’s fine with me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you aren’t wrong. Who cares about our baby’s genitals anyway?”

Y/n pursed her lips and bit back the emotion already bubbling up in her, instead, allowing herself to feel excited for now, “Then it’s settled.” 

Jensen looked up at her then, a smile cracking on his face. He shook his head at the giddiness over taking his wife. With everything that she had been through lately, it was refreshing to see her truly smile again. He had missed that smile. 

Jensen cleaned up the mess from her making his breakfast and the two were out the door to the doctor. The office was located in St. David’s North Austin Medical Center, over thirty minutes northeast of their home, depending on traffic. Y/n had been seeing Dr. Garcia as her gynecologist for years now, and she loved the woman and the attention she paid her patients. 

The couple made their way inside the familiar building, checking in at the desk and waiting in the lobby for them to be called back. When the nurse came from them, she took Y/n’s weight, vitals, and asked the usual questions before giving her a cup for a urine sample. Once Y/n returned from the bathroom the nurse instructed her to get undressed from the waist down and cover herself with the provided blanket. 

The room was silent as they waited for the doctor, neither of them quite sure what to say at the moment. There were too many questions that could only be answered by the doctor. Y/n had her eyes trained on the machine to her left when a knock came from the door before it opened. Jensen squeezed her hand as Dr. Garcia came in, a smile on her face. 

“Y/n, it has been a while since I’ve seen you in here,” She noted as she pulled up her chart on the computer. 

“Uh, yeah, that’s kind of why we are here now.” Y/n admitted, a sheepish smile on her face. 

“Well, the urine sample you provided us confirms pregnancy.” Dr. Garcia continued to examine her chart, hitting some buttons in silence. “Looks based on the information provided, you are about eight weeks along now, which will give us an expected due date of February twenty-third, all of which I will confirm after an ultrasound. Tell me a little bit about how you are feeling.” 

Y/n went into detail about her symptoms the past few weeks and the doctor gave her basic information on necessary diet changes as well as a prescription for a prenatal vitamin. She also handed over pamphlets to get the couple started.

“I’m going to do a vaginal ultrasound since the fetus is still small, take a few pictures, listen to the heartbeat, and then we will get you guys out here.” Y/n nodded, laying back on the exam table as the doctor pulled up the ultrasound machine and pulled up the footrest. She helped Y/n put her feet up in position. 

“You’ll feel pressure,” Dr. Garcia talked Y/n through what she was doing, though it didn’t make the action any less uncomfortable. Jensen moved to stand near her head, never letting go of his grip on her hand. Both of them watched the screen with bated breath as the doctor searched for what was growing inside her. “Ah, there we go,” 

A black spot made its way onto the otherwise white screen, in the center a small white bean-shaped figure. “That’s it?” Jensen asked, leaning in for a closer look. 

“That’s it, and the little blip in the center there is its heartbeat.” Dr. Garcia pointed on the screen before taking a snapshot and starting her measurements. She hit a few more buttons and the rhythmic whoosh of the baby’s heart could be heard like a siren in the small room. 

Jensen let out a small huff of air before he brushed away the hairs on Y/n’s forehead and placed a kiss there, his lips lingering for a second against her skin. There was no point in trying to hold back the tears anymore. The longer she stared at the screen, the more the realization of the fact that she had a tiny human growing inside of her began to take hold in her brain. Sure, she had known for a few weeks now, but not being able to see it on her body, finally having visual and audio proof had broken the dam in her head. 

“I’ll print this picture and be right back. You can get dressed now.” Dr. Garcia smiled at the equally teary-eyed couple. Y/n finally broke her gaze from the computer to look up at her husband, her hand coming up to cup his jaw. 

“Oh, Jay,” She sighed as she wiped away the tear that had fallen down his cheek with her thumb. 

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” He breathed out, staring at his beautiful wife below him. There had been nights he dreamed about starting a family, the woman always a blurry figure in his mind. Now, with the actual woman staring back at him, he felt like his chest might explode. He loved her more than his own life, and he didn’t think it was possible to love a person more, but seeing this ultrasound had changed all that. There was enough room in his heart for someone else, and that was his child. 

****

Jensen dropped Y/n off at home before meeting Steve at the studio to work on their second album. His wife wanted to take a nap after not having gotten much sleep the night before, and he was more than happy to oblige her. If he was being honest, he would do anything for her right now as he continued to ride the high from their doctor’s appointment. 

Y/n curled up on the couch with the television playing a soft jazz radio station and she fell asleep with ease. Most days, it felt like she slept better anywhere but her bed if her husband was not curled up next to her. The large king-sized mattress just felt too empty without him.

She woke up a few hours later, the sun now low in the sky. Y/n checked the time before cursing to herself and jumping out of the warm blanket she was curled up in. The trash would be coming their way soon, and in the excitement of the morning, she had forgotten to put it out. Slipping on a pair of sandals, she headed to the garage to grab the cans and drag them down the driveway. She pulled them to the end of the drive, making sure they would not be in her husband’s way when he returned. 

Y/n pushed the recycling can to the side and something caught her eye. She squatted down, taking in the handful of used cigarette butts that were just barely visible against the stone of their driveway. A frown pursed her lips and she brushed the trash into the street before returning inside to find something to make for dinner.

Part 4: 12 Weeks Pregnant 

Forevers: @22sarah08 @akshi8278 @anathewierdo @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @callmekda @dawnie1988 @deanwanddamons @ellewritesfix05 @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @janicho88 @jensengirl83 @katehuntington @lyarr24 @malfoysqueen14 @mrsjenniferwinchester @msmarvelouswinchester @polina-93 @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @smol-and-grumpy @superfanficnatural @supraveng @talesmaniac89 @tranquility-or-chaos @waywardbeanie @winchest09 

Happiness Continues: @ashleyrose0117 @austin-winchester67 @deanmonandnegansbitch @deans-baby-momma @death-unbecomes-you @dvnmbabe @harryhook-lover @hoboal87 @itsdesiree86​ @let-me-luve-you @lunarmoon8 @onethirstyunicorn @parinarain @rebelemilu @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @stoneyggirl @squirrelnotsam @traceyaudette @winqhster @zpandaqueen

[umikawa]

Comfort Headcanons

This is primarily for Non-binary/gender non-conforming etc. readers, AFAB in this scenario. Forget that things they do post... forget it, it never existed. Also, I can make one for AMAB if you would want them, would probably make them either way once i do more research :))

Warnings: Unsupportive peers, borderline transphobia (NOT from characters), gender dysphoria, gender envy, periods, top surgery, injections (T), coming out (?)

Characters: Yukie, Watari, Daishou, Daichi, Suna, Iwaizumi, Kita, Yamagata, Mika, Bokuto, Sakusa, Matsukawa.  

Not proofread, sorry, was going and didn’t stop.

YUKIE

It’s that time of the month, she can tell by the way your shoulders slouch and the depressed look on your face. 

Doesn’t think twice about rushing to your side, shoving food at your face as she hugs you. Yes, it's uncomfortable because she shoved an entire onigiri in your face then immediately hugged your shoulders. 

At home she’ll pull you between her legs and rub your stomach, she probably has one of those stuffed animal heating things. 

If you start feeling/having gender dysphoria during your period, she’ll start kissing your face all over while whispering she loves you over and over again. 

WATARI

Gender dysphoria, biggest enemy in my eyes. 

He’s concerned right off the bat, he noticed the way your behavior changed the moment your ears picked up on murmurs about your outfit. He doesn’t understand why people bother talking about clothes, clothes have no gender so why is everyone talking about you? 

He’ll pull you away from everyone and hug you under a tree, rubbing your back to calm you down. “I don’t get it Shinji, do people just- do they still see me as a girl?” His heart breaks at your tone, you sound so defeated. 

He’ll tell you to ignore them but he knows it's hard to. Tells you everyday he loves you and that he’ll be there for you always. Though if there were a crowd of people saying things and he’s feeling bold, he’ll press his hands against your ears and kiss you in front of everyone. 

DAISHOU

Starting T, scary.

Whether it’s the injection, patch, or gel, daishou is there to help. While he won’t be doing it for you he’ll hold your hand the entire time you do it, if you do the injection he’ll ignore the strong grip you have that nearly breaks his hand. (me bye.)

During the physical and mental tests you’d have to take beforehand, he’ll be the one taking you, of course unless you start this before you’re 18, he’ll tag along.

He’d take process photos for you so that once there’s a significant change, you two can watch how far you’ve grown together. 

DAICHI

Top surgery. Gosh so expensive…

He’d take you there if you ask him, though if you ask your legal guardian he’ll just tag along and hold your hand whispering you’re gonna do great. 

After the procedure he’d tell you you did so well, and if you start crying he’s kissing your tears away. He’ll take care of you so well but he’d sleep on the floor because he’s scared he might make you uncomfortable or touch your wounds too soon.

The first time you take off your shirt so freely, he almost cries at the way you smile. Pulls you by the waist to kiss your scars and lets a few tears slip from his eyes. 

SUNA

Wearing a binder, comfortable yet also uncomfortable!

When you first get it he’s sitting on the bathroom counter as you put it on, cackling loudly once you look at yourself in the mirror. (me)

He’s reading the instruction card that came with it and he may or may not have stolen the sticker too but besides the point. “Work on better posture.” Cackling stops and you just blink at him, “Rin, if i have to work on my posture so do you!” 

If you’re forgetful don’t remember to take breaks, he’s calling you to scream at you for not remembering. Suna, be my personal reminder. 

IWAIZUMI

TransTape. 

He looked into another option for you, if you didn’t necessarily feel comfortable with a binder and found it. He read through everything, warnings, reviews, how it began, nearly emailed the founder too. 

He’d help you put it on, asking if it felt okay, if you were fine and if anything was bothering you, all of that. Supportive all the way through. When taking it off he read that it could hurt, so if you need to hold his arm or something he won't mind the death grip.

His heart swells when you get out of the shower with a grin in just his sweatpants, not even missing the sight of you in his shirts. 

KITA

The haircut. 

Now if your hair was already short to begin with (pixie, bob, shoulders.) but you wanted it shorter, he just flat out says, “why not shave your head.” But if you have long hair, he asks if he can cut some of it before you go somewhere professional. 

He’s supportive, everyone is. If you get it without him knowing and show up to his house or school with your hair shorter or in a “typical men's haircut” he’ll suppress that feeling of wanting to jump on you. (ik in Japan it's normal for women to have short hair shh.)

I know he’s stoic most of the time but he’s a big goofball, at home he’d keep trying to use an absurd amount of hair gel to give you a mohawk. 

YAMAGATA

The tuxedo. As you can see I've run out of ideas.

Listen, the first time you brought up going to mens warehouse to get fitted for a tux, he’s been drooling. 

Tugs you to the store and keeps shaking his head at the suits you’ve tried on, babe, just tell them you want them to wear an all black suit. He does. 

Will get on his knees when he sees you, probably makes a red carpet from construction paper. 

MIKA

Gender Envy. Ha, i forgot about this one. (i switched tabs to go to crunchyroll and miyuki chose violence)

Anyways, You two are watching some show, anime, attack on titan because i make the rules, howl’s moving castle if you relate. Boom that one guy comes on and she’s whipping her head to you wondering why you’re crying.

“I wanna look like him so bad it hurts.” Pulls you into her chest, and just tells you you’ll be okay, she doesn’t know how to react in these situations, but she’ll look up on what you’re feeling and try to help in any way she can.

Will buy you a wig, actually, she’ll make you an entire cosplay dedicated to that character but it's so spot on. Screaming when you start crying and ruin the makeup she spent so much time on. Cries with you.

BOKUTO

Coming out to him. 

At first he won’t understand why your hands are shaking so much when you sit him  down to talk. Then he just starts getting worried you’re going to break up with him which makes the situation so much worse in your head. 

And when you tell him you’re non-binary/gender non-comforming/transgender/etc. He lets out a breath because he thought it’d be a break up. Quickly regains his composure to hug you tightly and reassure you he loves you and every aspect of you and that he’ll be your number one supporter. 

Makes sure everyone knows your new pronouns, new name, if you’re okay with it. Fends off people who try to criticize you for making a big decision like that, doesn’t hesitate to tell them he wants to spike a volleyball in their face for that comment.

SAKUSA

Change of name. 

Another person whose initial thought is that you’re going to break up with him and is relieved when not. At first he didn’t understand why you were so hesitant to tell him but then he remembers that something like that isn’t easy at all. 

Corrects anyone and everyone when they get your name wrong, so ready to defend you. He’ll hesitate to throw hands but if someone is still trying to pick on you, he’ll provoke them enough so they throw the first swing, then use the self-defense excuse. (go omi omi!)

If you decide to change your name again, he’ll do the same thing all over again. He knows it isn’t easy to choose one so if you’re indecisive he’ll test with you. 

MATSUKAWA

Pronoun change.

You’re just in his room, laying on his bed when you bring it up. “Issei, can you refer to me with they/them pronouns?” his head just whips over to you but he tries to calm himself and says yes. 

If you continue to question it and go from she/her to she/they, he’ll stare down anyone who gets it wrong. When you finally go to they/them, he corrects people when they’re wrong, doesn’t matter if they’re still talking, you can hear his monotone voice just saying “they.” while they’re talking. 

Always says that comment that's pretty popular. “Their pronouns are they/them but i wanna be they/theirs”