#but now that I'm rereading it's actually the part i look forward to the most while we switch around ??

[franeridan]

read the first dressrosa volume and id never gone back to reread this arc in full after reading it the first time so I'm just now realizing but wow wow the coliseum part is So Much more fun to read after you know who the characters taking part in it are ????

[freuleinanna]

I'm still confused about Verna.. I thought she was a demon?? Because why would Death be going around making a bunch of deals with people? After Verna told Pym she decided to go "topside" I thought she was some kind of crossroads demon since it implies she came from below (hell)

Oh! I feel you, and I struggled with that a lot too. She does seem a lot like a demon. I'm not saying I'm 100% correct in my thinking either, but here's why I personally think she's Death. Kind of a long post, sorry. I hope I make myself clear, but feel free to follow up!

So, Verna. An anagram for Raven, that much is established. Ravens are wonderful - symmetrical even - creatures. Bringers of death in a wide understanding. Bringers of good luck in many cultures. The duality is amazing. To me, that also leans majorly into the theme of death being a concept of duality: an enemy for some, a friend for others. Each greets her differently. I'm not talking about the characters here, but people in general.

There's a proverb I came across a while ago that reads 'Death is a great leveller'. Meaning, everyone's equal before her. You have no leverage or buffer against death, and it doesn't matter if you're poor or blindly, feverishly, grotesquely rich (like our folks here). Everyone pays the last bill. For everyone, there's a day of reckoning. It's a major theme with the show, at least. Verna also says 'Buy now, pay the bill later' - although it can still read very demonic, I agree.

She's obviously ancient, and I was leaning toward the demon theory based on all of her talking. Yet - she also keeps ranting about Egypt and pyramids and Cleopatras and such. What's the one thing with Egyptians everyone knows of? They honored death. Death may have been a bigger part of their lives than life itself. The Usher Twins' obssession with all things Egyptian, antiquities, jewelry, swords and such, plays a nice parallel here too, because they're just collectors. They have no grain of honor for the real thing, for what these things are tied to. Kind of a nice thought, I guess.

Anyway, back to Verna. She says on multiple occasions how intrigued she is with us, 'adorable little things'. She saw the pyramids, the expeditions, and she wanted to see what else we do, she wanted to see what Roderick and Madeline will do (in her own words). It's all an experiment to her. She makes an offer just to see what we, people, do.

Here's where my beef with a demon theory comes in. No demonic creature I could think of, be it an actual demon, a trickster, or something else, is that sincerely intrigued. Something something death loving life something something.

Demons, in my understanding, are most interested in winning the deal. They come up with incredible challenges, they enjoy torture, emotional or physical, they never let anyone win. Verna has never once expressed this. Quite the opposite. She gives everyone a chance to step back. Even when the ink has dried and everything's decided, each Usher sibling is conditioned to make a choice: push forward, or step back. Neither of them steps back. Neither of them takes a long hard look at themselves (except Tamerlane, both literally haha and figuratively, as she's the only one to have realized how lost she was in her way - just at the end, when it didn't really matter anymore, but still). Verna is kind to those she takes (sincere pet names, regrets of having to do it this way, making sure they know it's not personal, etc). She grieves with them, just before. Grieving - 'The Raven' being about an expression of grief and trauma - ravens as synonyms for death... you get the gist. Oh! Except Freddie - cause Freddie struck a cord. Infuriated her. So he doesn't get an expressed choice. And he would've blown it like coke anyway, so meh.

And then Arthur Pym. Oh, Arthur Pym. I honestly couldn't imagine a demon kneeling and thanking someone who's refused them.

About Arthur Pym, by the way. It's the one story I hadn't reread, and I should have, it turns out! haha Anyway, a few notes about his travels:

In the story, Arthur Pym is expressedly afraid of white color (North Pole, yada yada, white being the absense of colors/life, and the absense of life is death).

Verna enumerates the moments she witnessed of his travels. Someone getting left in Sahara. Someone getting shot in the Arctic. Something bad that was done to an Inuit woman. Why would she follow Arthur so closely? She didn't know him, he wasn't her favorite. I think it's because she came to collect those deaths. If she is death, she would've been exactly there, where people died. She would have also seen Arthur not partaking.

Aaaaaaaand it makes her 'You saw me' line sound better, because he had sure seen death along his travels.

I think the part about a place of out-of-time, out-of-space creatures and hollow Earth was a bit unnecessary, BUT I can try and tie it in this way:

It showed us how Arthur might have coped with what he saw, and he 'saw a lot', even in his 70s it's difficult for him to recall, and it made him think of humanity as a virus, literally;

He might have thought up that ethereal realm simply because he was in an expedition? Exhaustive conditions for both body and spirit? Traumatic experiences? If he saw Death, he might have cloaked it in his mind to cope with it, thus came his stories;

Verna going 'topside' may just mean that she had to go take a look herself, actually be willingly present for the events - to see the brave little humans conquer the earth. 'Topside', as in, 'visible, present, participating'. If Death exists, I doubt it bothers with our boring human realm but lives downunder, among all threads that weave the world.

So that's that on Arthur Pym.

A few other references my mind is too exhausted to tie in nicely:

Death takes Lenore. THE Lenore from 'The Raven' (mostly) and 'Lenore' (secondary). That happened. Also, death talking to a child of life? Regretting having to take her? Not very demonic of dear ol' Verna, in my opinion.

Her mourning veil, her last toasts to the Ushers at the cemetery? Demons don't tend to grieve their players. Demons don't respect and love them enough, and 'what is grief, if not love persevering'?

Death is the last threshold. Before death, we look upon our legacy (major theme with the show), we remember our losses and loves (Annabel Lee!!!!! love the poem, brilliantly done), we get heavy with regrets. We face death as an enemy & fight, like Madeline did. As a friend, like Arthur did. We confess, like Roderick did. All that is too significant to me overall.

And the last thing. It's Edgar Allan Poe. The whole Death tribute is a giant, incredible, thought-through-to-the-bits hommage to his literature where Death, figuratively and literally, takes the throne.

I hope I managed to express myself alright there. Thanks if you read it through, and as I said before, feel free to follow up or elaborate on some ideas. There are oceans to discuss. <3

[fahye]

Hi! I just finished A Power Unbound and it's utterly consumed me. Crushed me tenderly you might say. I have so many emotions about it, but there was one section in particular that actually almost made me burst into tears with how *seen* it made me feel:

"The past could turn you into a strip of paper with a single side, so that comfort and vulnerability slid away down invisible channels and couldn't be grasped. Except, perhaps, if you bent your will towards unlearning your own history. If you let yourself soften and be porous. Even if only like this, in silence, and at an angle."

I don't particularly identify with any of the characters in this trilogy (as wonderful and deep and absolutely gorgeous as they all are). But that part struck me right between the ribs. I'm still learning to be porous, myself.

Thank you for this beautiful series. I've reread the first two books multiple times now, but I can tell APU is going to be the one with the most bent spine and dog-eared pages of them all. I sincerely look forward to enjoying anything you write in the future!

oh, thank you. that was one of my favourite paragraphs and I fiddled with the wording more than usual, because it was important to me that the imagery was exact. it's so much easier to be slippery and elusive. one of my favourite character arcs, for my own books and those of others, is to find the person or people or moment that forces someone to settle & soften; to let the vulnerability begin to work, even if it's scary.

[abubblingcandle]

Having my 100th reread of the first cuddlepollen chapter and I have a question, will we get to see Roy and Jamie navigating the actual cuddle/snuggles/etc etc of it all? I love the reluctant hand holding that we've seen but I'm guessing that won't be enough for them soon? Absolutely loving it!!

We will! And it starts in Ch2.

The Chapter 2 of it all is very much about the lads trying to work out how this is actually going to work for the next two weeks. It's the little things that are stumping them and a big part of that is hug logistics because Roy isn't the most touchy feely guy and Jamie is seriously touch starved at this point. They are roughly the same height as well. Like there's no natural, we're going to slot together in this way ... where do your arms go?

Here's a little snippet:

Roy had never thought so hard about a hug in his life and it was clear based on Jamie’s expression that he was having the same problem. With his sister or the various assortment of women he had slept with in his life, holding them had come naturally but now as Jamie stood within reaching distance he was overthinking every little part of it. He had almost forgotten what a hug looked like it had got so tangled up in his head. “Let’s just. Yeah,” Jamie murmured. He sighed deeply. Another dragging few seconds passed and Jamie stepped forward with his arms open and outstretched. It was so absurd. So absurd that Roy couldn’t stop the laugh. “Oh fuck off we need to work this out,” Jamie growled, bristles back up and arms crossed as his shield. “I know, I know,” Roy snapped back, breathing deep to try and calm the frenzy of thoughts in his mind. They just needed to fucking do it.

[blemiria]

that one line in lone trail

hello welcome to "she promised she was gonna go tl some fic but then got sidetracked thinking about lonetrail again and is now here" I want to go ahead and do a more comprehensive post talking about the three's relationship in detail with what happened in lone trail but uhh

I don't have that kind of time to reread it because I forgot which stories contain the parts that I need lol. So without further ado, lets spoil CW-ST-4

The title is "Pushing open future's door" and serves as the epilogue of lonetrail. Unlike most events, lonetrail actually has two post mission stories! CW-ST-3 is unlocked after CW-10 so you know this event is insanely long (iirc this is around the same character count as chapter 8, which is insane. This event is gonna be a monster to read through when it comes to global, I look forward to seeing what translation decisions they make so I have stuff to talk about haha). Also we get to see a hint at a professional relationship between Nastja(no I am not calling her nasti/nasty, I'm fairly certain they were going with a Russian name and Nastja was the closest)

Most of this epilogue is centered around Kirsten, now alone having won in her ideals and preparing to go to sleep. It's a very touching moment where her electronic system goes through her entire ship shutting off each room one by one, until she is left in her room where she is going to hibernate, given a couple minutes before that room will activate she records a log.

It's relatively simple, probably the most direct we will get from her talking about her philosophy and thoughts on society, wanting people to understand themselves, others, society, and where they are in the universe in order to determine how they should move on.

In the last minute she goes a bit more personal which is really what I care about. She comments on how the plants are still alive to her surprise, and laments being unable to give Muelsyse the data on them. It's a nice touch! She stayed with control, helping her the entire way, and it's clear that Kirsten means a lot to Muelsyse too given how close they were in the past between all three of them.

The very last things she says are directly to Saria.

In Kirsten's whole life, there were only two times where she felt truly alive. The first time, Saria, was when I took you back home, and on that hill I told you the start of everything. The second time, is now, when I have completed my parent's dreams. The seeds of what happens next, is only the beginning. On a clear night, find an open field and set up a telescope, there will be a star in the sky twinkling for you.

Then, goodnight, the sirs and madams of Terra.

goodnight, universe.

yeah just stab me will ya. I don't think there is any really other way to read this other than a goodbye letter to Saria, one that she will tragically never really get to hear (I think?). The long relationship they shared, the last line about the star twinkling for her is just so strong of an indication of just how deep they were intertwined together.

Actually, lets spoil CW-10 end too, just to see how even after Saria left Kirsten knew she could rely on Saria in the ways that it counted:

Saria... You always wanted me to take a good, clear look at this vast land. I saw it. It is also...very beautiful. You will take care of it and nurture it's people in my stead. I always knew this. Same as before, same as always. As for me... I was not really the type to lead people forward step by step. I was just a pair of eyes. A pair... to look up at the deep space in place of the people of these lands

It's probably the only way she knew how to move forward into the future, especially after she met Friston and had those conversations. Funnily enough after seeing the same kind of behaviour in some of the tech circles I am in... This kind of "I don't think I'm suited for leadership yet here I am" problem is real, and quite prevalent amongst the science types who just want to do their thing unfortunately. It's shocking almost how well this trope was written for Kirsten though I feel like I'm staring at a picture of some people I know of irl who are in the same situation.

Kills me how close Kirsten puts those in her heart yet keeps them pretty far away at the same time tbh

[aheathen-conceivably]

sooo I'm not saying I forgot the arc buttt (😭 oops?)

to dumb it down, what exactly is the issue jo has with everyone else? I get the debt thing, and I don't want to sound like an ass either because she's right 😭 it's just been so long that i forgot most of what happened

(of course, I'll go reread it either way, but a small explanation for a lil neurodivergent darling would be much appreciated :') )

Hi hi, it’s been awhile so that’s understandable. I also tend to throw a lot of info at you all at once so sometimes you just need the threads separated 😜

And listen, Nonny darling, I did try and make it a small explanation. Only alas, the drama runs deep, so we must go under the cut for your regular installment of Ted Talk with a Heathen…

So in essence, we can see the cracks start to form in the 20s. Giorgio had proposed to her multiple times in their years together, including on the last night before he left for a farm he had bought without consulting her (mostly because he knew she would never agree to this vision he had for himself, and he seemingly chose to pursue it on his own). When he left, things ended between them, although she was still unsatisfied in New Orleans. This was mostly because for years she had success managing bands, but as the economic situation worsened, she lost her business and became aimless.

Fast forward to the 1929 economic crash when she and Antoine decided to sell their club for far less than it was previously worth. This left them in a tight economic position, really unable to buy housing on their own, so Antoine reached out to Gio without consulting Jo. He only told her after Gio had invited them out to live with him. Jo explores why she doesn’t want to go here and here, but chooses to do so anyway. Suffice to say that she does love Gio, but she would never have followed him out there without the interference of her family and their economic straits.

At the beginning of the 1930s we can see Josephine begin to split in two. Part of her wants to be with Gio, but a larger side of her immediately regrets her decision. From the moment she steps foot on the farm, she can feel her life and who she is begin to slip away from her. Not long after, Antoine learns that Giorgio actually has a massive loan on his farmhouse, and he’s brought his entire family aboard a sinking ship. However, there’s not much to do other than try and patch the holes and keep moving forward.

This is where it gets tricky, because Antoine’s past mistakes with Zelda mean that he decides not to keep secrets from her. Only the two of them decide not to tell Josephine about the loan, or that Gio purposefully omitted it from his original telegram. Of course, Gio directly asks them to, but they agree because they think he’s right. Josephine is incredibly stubborn and unwilling to accept help, believing that it makes her indebted to people. Coupled with this, they all think that when Josephine finds out she will see it as a way of controlling her, and there is nothing more likely to make her bolt.

Now this situation goes on for four years, all the while Jo is buried in the depths of her own depression and struggling with her sense of control and autonomy as she lives a life she never wanted and turned down on multiple occasions. The people she loves the most can see this. They attempt to help her and uplift her, all the while lying to her face. She says it best in her own internal monologue when she finds out:

Jo looked back toward Gio, the anger rising as the words she really wanted to cry out stayed trapped in her throat. You all let me think you were happy. That our life was perfect and I was the problem. You let me sink and disintegrate while you lied to my face! I stayed because I love you, and this is how you repay me!

Now I would also absolutely recommend that you read this and this as well, which explores Josephine’s mental state in the last post of the early 30s arc. This is where things begin to twist, and perhaps not in the way we (or Gio, Zelda, and Antoine) think. If you read those extras, you can see that while Jo is angry with them for lying to her, she’s also in some ways been freed by that very same lie. I’ll quote that second ask here:

Josephine isn’t stupid, and she certainly isn’t rash. This isn’t to say she can’t be, especially when backed into a corner, but it isn’t her nature. She’s cunning, calculated, and measured. Just like her mother. It’s only a matter of figuring out how to use that in her favor in a way that fits with the other parts of her nature, which are governed by a sense of perceived morality and loyalty for her family; OR if she can’t, and she’s backed too far into a corner first, then the rash side of her wins out despite everything she knows about the world and what running into it would mean.

By betraying her but also placing the burden of the loan on her shoulders, Jo has been given a new sense of purpose, which is what has been missing from her life this entire time. She’s sensed it back in New Orleans, and she’s hungry for it again. She wants to work for herself, to be her own person away from the home and the people she loves even while uplifting them in some way.

But in another way, their lie has also freed her from a restrictive sense of duty, of feeling like her choices must be made out of guilt or debt to others, as well as the horrifying fear that she was the only one who suffered in their seemingly bucolic little bubble. Now, she can do as she pleases with her choices and all of them, because they are indebted to her through their betrayal. At least in regard to the people she felt were steering her life before, she is the one in control now, and that’s what she’s wanted all along.

[buildarocketboys]

Just a couple of notes from things I've highlighted in Frankenstein chapters 4-8:

Chapter 4:

The astonishment which I had at first experienced on this discovery soon gave place to delight and rapture. After so much time spent in painful labour, to arrive at once at the summit of my desires was the most gratifying consummation of my toils.

I think the use of the phrasing "painful labour" is super interesting here - obviously labour can just refer to work, but the double meaning of giving birth, coupled with the description of it being "painful" definitely implies Frankenstein "giving birth" to his creation. Shame he's a terrible father.

Talking of Frankenstein being a terrible father...

No one can conceive the variety of feelings which bore me onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success. Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark world. A new species would bless me as its creator and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me. No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs.

The idea that the species (thinking big there, Victor!) will and should be grateful to him just for being the cause of their existence is uh..very interesting. I think the fact that Victor is a man is very pertinent here, since women are expected to give birth to new life, but since Victor is a man, him creating life is a big and amazing thing the species should be grateful for. Even if you're a deadbeat dad.

(for whatever reason I didn't highlight anything in chapter 5 or chapter 6 even though they're pretty fucking important)

Chapter 7:

“Come, Victor; not brooding thoughts of vengeance against the assassin, but with feelings of peace and gentleness, that will heal, instead of festering, the wounds of our minds. Enter the house of mourning, my friend, but with kindness and affection for those who love you, and not with hatred for your enemies.

I just think Frankenstein should listen to the wisdom of his father, who's actually a parent. He knows what he's talking about.

I considered the being whom I had cast among mankind, and endowed with the will and power to effect purposes of horror, such as the deed which he had now done, nearly in the light of my own vampire, my own spirit let loose from the grave, and forced to destroy all that was dear to me

I thought the use of vampire was interesting here - I had a quick Google and in fact, Frankenstein was published a year before the book considered the first vampire story - The Vampyre by John William Polidori. However, The Vampyre was based on a story Lord Byron told as part of the same contest in which Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein. Anyway, previously to the popularity of the vampire novel, vampire basically just meant a dangerous spiritual entity that people believed could appear at rituals for the dead. So essentially a synonym for spirit, but specifically bad/dangerous/evil. Idk I could probably have some more coherent thoughts about this if I tried but it's just... interesting

Chapter 8:

The tortures of the accused did not equal mine; she was sustained by innocence, but the fangs of remorse tore my bosom and would not forgo their hold.

I mean like, I get what he's saying here, but he really does sound like a massive twat. Like, poor Justine is facing execution for a crime she didn't commit, and that you know she didn't commit, and you're all like "boo hoo I feel even WORSE than her because it's MY FAULT!" like maybe if you didn't immediately abandon the child you'd made because he was kinda creepy looking then none of this would have happened. My sympathy is limited for you here, Vicky boy.

Anyway, that's where I'm at for now @tumbleclub! It's fun to reread this after so long. Looking forward to the creature's chapters.. 👀👀

[sleepy-vix]

hello hello hello!! i hope this day is treating you well <3

so. erm. i finished if we were villains one second ago. there are tear tracks still glistening on my face. and i have Thoughts TM

to be frank i wasn't a fan of most of the book (i found the very excessive shakespeare-quoting stilted, pretentious and cringey — and i'm saying this as a person who quotes shakespeare too much for the average sane person and is very annoying about it) but something changed when i was reading act five. i then proceeded to cry through the end bit of act five and the whole epilogue.

i have no idea what i feel about it skjfksdfj i have no idea when i started caring about these pretentious ass bitches enough to cry over them, seeing that for most of the book i was just incredibly annoyed by all of them. although i am proud to say i clocked james and oliver for what they were in their first few interactions. the power of the gaydar ladies and gents

i think part of the problem was that i was comparing it to the secret history so much in my mind (which is practically literary perfection in my mind. i personally believe that donna tartt is a greek muse in disguise and should be treated as such/j) it just paled in comparison — honestly, people need to stop comparing the two or just lumping them into "dark academia" (i'm personally not the hugest fan of aesthetic-based grouping for book recs, but that's a rant for another day)

i think it's a one-time read for me. like yes it was definitely an... interesting experience but probably not good enough to reread? i don't know?? i have zero idea if you like this book or not i just know that you've read it — so apologies if i accidentally offended you or something 😭😭 i would love to hear your thoughts on it though (especially the ending)!

I READ IT BACK IN GRADE 8 DURING THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS AND I WAS JUST DEPRESSED FOR THE WHOLE 8 WEEKS LMAO

im like ehhh about it now 😭 which is sad because i was so obsessed with it i made a playlist for james and oliver (im such a geek it's actually so embarrassing 💀)

also i completely agree with you about the shakespeare quotes. it got to a point where i would just skip the quotes and only read the actual writing because is it ever THAT serious?

also i have a few other icks about the book:

- oliver and meredith getting together (that was so ???? like i lowkey hated oliver for that)

- filippa's character. it was so ?? like m.l. rio did such a bad job writing her... the idea of her character is awesome but the execution was really not, which was disappointing.

but in general i really liked it :) i read it before the secret history, so thankfully i never unconsciously compared them with eachother (which i've heard is actually really common between people who read tsh first).

i agree with you in the dark academia lumping thing sooo much. like, you often see them side by side, but the only thing they have in common is a friend group + one person dies + school setting. which really doesn't mean much considering that alot of stories are set in schools and include friend groups.

also not to mention that tsh is twice the size of iwwv 😭 idk i get so defensive when ppl bash iwwv for being worse than tsh (even tho i agree)

tbh i loved it alot but i wouldn't reread it either because the oliver and meredith parts where so 💀

m.l. rio is writing another book btw! its called grave digger. im looking forward to it because i'd like to know if she's actually a good writer or if she was only good in my 13 year old mind.

im so happy that u sent me this ask :)) its not very often that i get to talk abt iwwv with a person who agrees with me that the book is sad but not that good

[veliseraptor]

October Reading Recap

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun: vol. 3 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. Still in the territory of a part of this book I remember fairly well, and while the whole underworld arc is good it's not my favorite part of the book and mostly I come away from it going "Rong Jiu has rights." which is true! and I do think Meatbun knows it actually but it still hurts how his arc goes here. Me: continually getting too wound up in the fates of side characters and distracted from what's going on with the mains.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to moving into the next parts of the book, which I don't remember as well. Though I know it's a while before it gets really painful, aka what I'm most excited to reread.

Dark Carnivals: Modern Horrors and the Origins of American Empire by W. Scott Poole. I was so frustrated by this book. I wanted it to be an analysis of horror films and their relationship to American imperialism; what I got was a lot of overwrought prose and repetition of the titular metaphor that was very light on the analysis of the actual texts and heavy on the scathing opinions about what is "good" (politically) horror and what is "bad" (politically) horror. Which, fine, my politics are technically the same as his politics, but it was annoying to read in a book that I thought was going to be more analytical. I had high hopes for this book and it failed them; makes me more hesitant to read his other book about horror and World War I, which I have had on my list for a while. But I liked his book on Lovecraft, funnily enough, so not totally sure what went wrong here.

Paradise-1 by David Wellington. I did not realize that this book was first in a series and I'm a little bit annoyed about it. It was decent horror but it doesn't need to be a series and the lack of resolution bugs me, because now if I want resolution I have to read the next book and I don't think I really want to read the next book. Space horror seems like it would be such a rich land full of possibility and yet I keep being disappointed by space horror. (If, in this case, less disappointed than I was by Dead Silence.)

Remnants of Filth: vol. 1 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. She's done it again! It's a differently fucked up relationship, to be sure, but boy am I already here for it, despite feeling like I know very little about what's going on. Gu Mang is my jam as far as character type, and I really like the dynamic as its laid out as having been previously between him and Mo Xi, and also how it is now. Dedicated friends/lovers turned to bitter enemies turned to one of them fractured to a shadow of himself leaving the other bereft of resolution...mm, good stuff. Can't wait to find out more about what's going on under Gu Mang's surface. Looking forward to reading more of this one and glad that I already have the second volume to go to. (And the rest, technically, but I do like reading cnovels in print when I can more than reading on a computer.)

I, Robot by Isaac Asimov. Look at me! Reading classic sci-fi knowing only the bare minimum about it. I liked it more than I expected to, and was less bothered by the way the women were written than I expected to. I didn't realize that it was more a string of short stories tied together by a frame narrative than a novel, but it was really fine that I didn't know that going in - didn't affect my enjoyment, I don't think. And I did enjoy it! I might not have read it on my own, but I read it for a sci-fi book club and ended up liking both it and the book club. Not sure I'd give it, like, a strong recommendation, but I'm glad I finally read it. It'll be interesting seeing what echoes/traces of it I can now pick up in other robot/AI-related writing.

Monstress: vol. 5-7 by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda. This comic is so good you guys. So. Good. I don't really know what else to say here, except that she continues to step up her game even more with every volume, and I don't know how she's keeping all the balls in the air that she is with this story as deftly as she is. I have no idea where this story is going, either, and I can't wait to find out. I don't know. Themes of monstrosity and agency and lack of agency and how to be a good person (or try) in a terrible world. With a whole lot more than that. Also there's gay betrayal, if you're into that.

Ariadne by Jennifer Saint. Why do I continue to read Greek Mythology retellings when at best they end up making me go "eh, it was okay I guess"? Not sure. But this was okay, I guess. I liked the same author's Electra better.

Pathogenesis: A History of the World in Eight Plagues by Jonathan Kennedy. More of a "history of the western world categorized by periods of time in which there were various diseases" which...was not quite what I was hoping for, but it was still a good, solid book about epidemiology and the impact of disease on history. A lot of it was familiar to me (how disease enabled the Spanish conquest of the Aztecs and Incas, for instance, but also British colonization in North America), but I did learn some new things, particularly in the sections about Paleolithic/Neolithic diseases. All in all a book I read because I'm particularly interested in the subject but not probably one I'd recommend as the one book that they'd have to read about it.

The Hollow Kind by Andy Davidson. I made it a goal in October to read some spooky books and ended up only reading three, but this was easily my favorite of those - and my favorite non-Darcy Coates horror I've read in a while, too. I wasn't totally sure what to expect from this one, and the slow reveal in the first two thirds particularly was very well done. I found myself slightly more compelled by the portions set in the past than by the present storyline, but not so much as to ding the whole book for it. And I liked that the monster was left pretty vague and undefined, too; that's always my preference. Some very gross descriptions and body horror, as a caveat for those who might be interested but are sensitive about such things.

Die: vol. 1-3 by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans. I'm finally rereading (and finishing) this series and...I forgot how much I like it. Not only because the art is gorgeous (and the art is gorgeous) but Kieron Gillen's writing remains as sharp as ever, and the way he is playing with fantasy as a genre is very fun for me as a fantasy nerd. My favorite issue remains the one about The Lord of the Rings, though. I don't know that this one is quite as good as The Wicked and the Divine as a whole, but I'll have to reread that one taken as a whole, too, before making that determination.

And the art really is gorgeous. Stephanie Hans remains a fave.

Homegrown: Timothy McVeigh and the Rise of Right-Wing Extremism by Jeffrey Toobin. A decent narrative about the Oklahoma City bombing, certainly competently written, but he interrupted himself a little too often drawing parallels to January 6th, in my opinion, and I don't feel like I took anything particularly new or fresh away from this. Which is maybe an artifact of the fact that I've read a number of better books about the rise of right-wing extremism in the 90s, and this one wasn't one of them, but I'm going to go ahead and damn with faint praise when I say "it was fine."

currently I'm rereading Banewreaker by Jacqueline Carey which is a fascinating text in ways that I'm going to need to chew on for a bit, so that I can finally read the sequel. but then a bunch of stuff came in for me at the library, so I'm next probably going to be reading Silver Nitrate by Sylvia Moreno-Garcia, and then Godslayer by Jacqueline Carey, and then The Art of Prophecy by Wesley Chu, and then Children of Memory by Adrian Tchaikovsky, and then Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez. or that's the plan, anyway. we'll see how fast it gets derailed.

also somewhere in there planning on reading more Female General and Eldest Princess and most likely the second volume of Remnants of Filth. I'm trying to spend less time on the internet in general (you absolutely could not tell I am sure) so let's make it a busy reading month instead.

[canmom]

If I may gush: what you've written so far of VECTOR is spectacular. The writing has (in the best way) the brutality & intensity of a flesh wound. The worldbuilding feels like someone stuck the gay eldritch futurism of 'This is How you Lose the Time War,' the superpowered wish fulfillment of the Nemisis series, & the bleak horror-erotica of Gretchen Felker-Martin's Manhunt in some sort of biopunk flesh-blender, and yet it somehow works? I understand ADHD's a bitch, but I hope there's more someday

waa, thank you so much! I really truly appreciate that... despite not having read any of the things you compare it to ^^' (I assume you don't mean the 2000AD comic Nemesis The Warlock?) - that said, Time War is on my shelf and I'm looking forward to reading it v much tho...

I was actually rereading parts of VECTOR recently. It would be good to pick it back up again. I will not be able to be in the exact headspace I was when I wrote the first 'book', so it will probably feel a little different from the first, but that's OK! I'm still me.

To talk a little about how the sausage isn't made, I had been planning on doing a re-edit pass of the whole story, maybe getting some input from friends knowledgeable about writing. That kind of never quite worked out and it's been several years since then. At this point I'm probably going to leave it largely as-is and focus on writing new chapters. It's a web serial, after all, people know what's up.

The other problem I had was thinking up new names for the segments ^^' Where do you go once you reach the head of the bug? I came up with what felt like a really good answer the other day, but I struggle to remember what it was now - some other trio of cool words from biology. Maybe it was cell division, 'segment MITOSIS' or something like that. (So much VECTOR is driven by the love of cool science words...)

I plan on releasing some of my other short stories in the meantime. Pocket Healer is the most VECTOR-like - still needs a final chapter. In fact, let me make a list. Consider this a teaser...

A Summoning - short story, finished, submitted to Strange Horizons, maybe they'll get back to me sometime this year...

The General's Worm - short ero story, finished, just needs cover art

Pocket Healer - short story, nearly finished, but needs a good ending and cover art for itch.io release

Thirty Years - linear twine, essentially finished, needs final polish for itch.io release, a better title

Sword Story (working title) - web-based visual novel, collab with @velocityvsreality who made some wonderful UI art and character portraits. we got off to a good start and it's honestly one of my fave stories I've written, but a lot more needs to be done if we resurrect this project!

Flower of Heaven - actually a spinoff of VECTOR! interactive fiction, the presentation needs a lot of work

Worm Queen - short mythologically styled story, about half finished.

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

An Update on the Status of My A03 Fics!

Hihi! I have no idea if anyone who follows this blog reads any of my fics on AO3, but if you do, then you might like to know what the heck is going on with my fics, and why I haven't posted any updates in over six months.

First of all, I am alive! I wrote a lot of fics in the summer of 2022 when I had just gotten active in a fan server on Discord where there was a lot of encouragement to write fanfiction. In the spring of 2023, I started a medical assistantship course, and in order to keep myself focused in class, I turned off notifications for the server. And then I just kind of...didn't turn them back on???? In my defense, I was intimidated by the amount of time it would take for me to backread everything I missed, and that eventually snowballed into me just no longer looking at that server. I should honestly become active in it again, because it did a lot for my writing productivity. I also have a lot of hobbies both in real life and on my computer, and those take up a lot of my time as well. So that's why I didn't post much last year and haven't posted anything yet this year.

But I want to let you all know, that I do fully intend to complete the fanfics I have already started on AO3, and I do intend to write the sequels I promised a year and a half ago.

So without further ado, here is a status report on the incomplete fics and series I have on my AO3:

How to Live With Fire: One of my most popular fics! I have two sequels planned, and a rough idea of what I want to happen in each of them. Both of them are probably going to be only a few chapters long. The delay on this one is mostly on Part 2, since Part 2 has only the vaguest ideas of what I want to do with it (how Mortarion and Vulkan become a longterm couple, and how their legions react to this change). The trouble with this one is, I haven't read any Salamanders novels, let alone ones that take place during the Horus Heresy. I think I will at least have to read Deathfire for this one. I am praying that I don't have to read Vulkan Lives, since I understand that one has less tasty Salamanders content than I would like, and way more John Grammaticus than I find tasteful. But I will still try Deathfire at the very least, if I can find a physical copy at the library or a used bookstore or something.

A Matter of Trust: Another one that's going to end up being a trilogy. I have figured out what happens, now I just need to read the Plague Wars trilogy, because those events are going to be kind of important to the rest of the plot. Again, I'd like to read physical copies of the books so that I can flip through them easily. I'm going to see if I can find copies of the first two novels through the local libraries. Fingers crossed!

Until the Bitter End: Ohhhh, this one's gonna make me cry...this one is mostly hinging on me rereading The Buried Dagger and taking notes. Much lower barrier for entry for this one, since I've read it so often that I mostly remember where to find the events I'm looking for.

Lantern and the Child: This one is going to have like, a billion chapters. It's going to become episodic for a while, but I'm looking forward to it. In this case, it's a case of figuring out which characters I want to introduce. The idea of it being episodic is kind of exciting for me, because it feels like it will be a fun thing to do, and because it goes along with a writing conceit that my co-creator and I have for this AU, that it's the events of a theoretical (very dark) Pokemon anime.

This Once Nearly Was Mine: This one should literally be the easiest one to complete, I am ashamed that I haven't finished it. There's only one chapter left, and I don't even have to come up with all of the events. Again, this one is going to dip into Horus Heresy events that I haven't actually read, but I think I've heard enough from osmosis that I can skip most of it. I just need to, y'know, actually sit down and fucking write it.

Deep's Embrace: I've got an outline! And I've even got some scenes written out! As I type this post, I am preparing to submit chapter 2. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, as you could probably all tell.

Anyway, that's basically it for now. If you have any questions, please let me know! And if you have any friends who you know enjoy my fics but aren't following me or aren't on Tumblr, please link them to this post so that they know just what the hell is going on with me.

[bellascarousel]

So, there's a fic idea that's been rattling around in my head for a while. It essentially consists of plopping the Bridgertons into Valdemar. Yesterday, my brain spent most of the day mentally plotting and writing this thing. And then... I ordered myself a copy of the Valdemar Companion as reference material. So, apparently I'm really gonna do this. So! Now I'm gonna tell you guys all about this idea I have. Below the Read More so as not to spam anyone who doesn't care about my fanfiction.

So, let me start off by explaining a bit of the setting for those of you that aren't familiar with the Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey. It's a fantasy setting, first of all. So, magic is real and all of that. The kingdom of Valdemar was founded by a man named Baron Valdemar (I have not read the prequel that tells his story, so I don't know his first name) who was fleeing from a place we only ever know as the Eastern Empire. When he and his people finally found a place to settle down, the people decided to make him their king, and they named the kingdom after him. Well, having seen first hand how power can corrupt people, our newly minted King was worried about the long term future of his kingdom. So, he prayed to every God he could think of for a way to keep his descendants from ever turning Valdemar into a place like the Eastern Empire. His prayers were answered in the form of magical beings called Companions that took the form of horses. The Companions could, for lack of a better explanation, see inside people's souls. And each Companion would Choose one person to bond with. The people Chosen by Companions became known as Heralds, and it was made law that the Monarch and the Heir had to also be Heralds. They had to have a Companion vouching for them that they were good people.

As time went on, eventually Companions started being conceived and born like normal horses (it eventually is learned that they are in fact reincarnated Heralds) instead of just magically appearing fully grown in the Grove where the first Companions appeared - with one exception. The Gods, taking the adage "heavy is the head that wears the crown" to heart, decided that there needed to be a special Herald. One that could be the monarch's confidant and chief advisor. That Herald was chosen by the Gods themselves by being Chosen by a special Companion - a stallion that magically appears in the Grove rather than being born. That herald was called the Monarch's Own, and there are a lot of rights and responsibilities that go with that title. (And I am totally going to have to reread the Arrows trilogy where all of this is explained to Talia, because I'm a bit fuzzy on most of it.)

Which brings us to the plot of my fic. Anthony is the king. Violet had been Edmund's Monarch's Own, and was now Anthony's. Which... is not actually working out so well. Violet's Companion dies (not sure how, but since that's backstory I'll deal with it later). Everyone expects the new Grove-born to Choose her, again (except Benedict who can see how strained Anthony's and Violet's relationship is and thinks it might be him who is Chosen instead. (Yes, a grove-born CAN Choose someone who is already a Herald. I don't know what happens to their first Companion in those cases. It doesn't matter for my story.)) Instead, Newton goes on Search and comes back with none other than Kate Sharma. Kate, for her part, assumes the Companion is there for Edwina and is quite surprised when he Chooses her, instead.

I'm really looking forward to exploring all the family and relationship dynamics as they play out in this setting. I think it's going to be quite interesting.

Now I get to decide what everybody's Gifts are. And decide who among the spouses and other characters we know are Heralds, and what they do if they are not. This is going to be fun.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

Honestly thank you so much for always creating S-rank heroine (and Tesilid) content! I just stumbled into your blog today after searching for S-Rank Heroine content in Tumblr and I can already see myself looking forward to any of your future posts.

Everytime I read any of your posts I lose my mind a little bit more (especially Thesilid's "you've always sided with the world",,, I didn't realize the meaning of why he said that until I read your post after [SPOILER] happens and I'm wrecked because,,, Thesilid,,, *shakes his shoulders* he has been through so much and he deserves a vacation)

I am also curious about your pfp, did you draw it yourself or was it a panel from the manhwa? I don't think I've seen it before, but then again I might've missed or misremembered it (I really need to reread it soon...)

WAAAH THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!!

did a little dance when i saw the follower notif and now im wiping happy tears!! when i first checked the s-class heroine tag on tumblr i was so devastated to find NOTHING apart from just novel covers orz. im so glad to hear that i helped make your experience different! tysm for telling me so i can have this moment <3

(cut for length)

and thank you for following me on my adventure of losing my mind about tesilid argente, the moment i connected the dots for "you're on the side of this world" was legit so bad. like realising [spoiler] felt like a horror reveal, and rereading every tesilid moment after was a growing sense of fascinated horror and when i read that line, for a second of blissful ignorance that line was the same but then i connected the dots and i had to legit pause during my reread and press my hand to my eyes and choke out a little sob. i want to wrap him up in a blanket so bad. i rly understand why ailette is so overprotective of him now, but the fact that ailette is also a source of stress for him.... ughhhh.

anw for my pfp, it's from ch 31 of the webtoon! it's when ailette is told by the TM gods that she only exists in tesilid's 17th timeline and she imagines what it must be like for him

i love this moment bc whenever i read it pre-spoiler i was like hahaha so cute and funny and tesilid looks sooo cute as a doll and ill also not think abt the implications of this and hope for the best.

and then post spoiler it's just. the most devastating thing ever. it's so cruel that it's presented so cutely. i love it. it makes me want to scream and howl.

and in the parts of the novel that i've read, i haven't even seen how tesilid actually feels about this and dealt with it. i bet it's gg to be like when ailette finally found him again and he was in way worse shape than i could have ever imagined.

[antimonyandthyme]

Hi. I've just finished reading Shutter Speed. I've been trying to come up with the words to tell you how grateful I am to you for writing this. The fic has been on my list for several weeks now but I've been putting it off for one reason or the other. And I'm sure life has given it to me at the right time because I've been going through some pretty horrible stuff these past few weeks and reading your fic has given me some really needed relief. It made me smile so much and I could actually feel the warmth in my chest when I read certain paragraphs. It's just so beautiful and I feel like I'm not expressing how thankful I am for every second of effort you put into writing this gorgeous work.... THANK YOU. I am in tears as I type this. Your work let me escape the real world and the emotional stress I am under for a few hours. I spent so much time looking through the work of all the photographers you've mentioned in the fics. I had such a wonderful time. Your writing is truly incredible. Seb's insecurity and Mark's undisguised longing when he looks at him 😭🖤 And Lewis and Val's gentle and easy love in the background. Britta being the queen that she is. And that tender sex scene in the end???? Just.... God I have no words.

'The Nikon 70-200mm lens seems absurdly heavy in his hands. It feels like a responsibility.'

'Sebastian wants to shake Mark awake and go, Look, look at that. See that gold? See how it matches your hair?'

“I didn’t feel unsafe. Not for a second.”

“He’s excellent in front of the camera,” Sebastian says hastily, when what he means is, The light strikes him as if he were a diamond, and the shadows adhere to his face like a lover.

“It’s the way you look at my camera.”

“I’m not looking at your camera,” Mark says this like a fact. “I’m looking at you.”

“I can’t see anything else,” Sebastian gasps, and it’s the truth. He closes his eyes and Mark’s there. He gazes off in the distance where the sun sets and Mark’s there. “All I see is you.”

All these lines permanently altered my brain chemistry.

I am so sorry. I really wish I could put into words how much your fic means to me right now. I'll just settle for 'Thank you' at the moment. I just feel like your fic has picked me up and given me a huge, warm hug. I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope you have an amazing holiday season.

dear dear anon. i've read and reread this lovely comment so many times and am very much at a loss for words. honestly means the world that you took the time to share your thoughts with me. i'm so over the moon the fic could be a source of encouragement in a tough time; writing brings me a lot of joy in part because i get to share it with people, and this is the greatest thing i could have hoped for with a fic! the most wonderful thing. thank you for letting me know i appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!

also i'm so so happy you looked up the photographers mentioned, if you have any thoughts on them you'd like to share i'd love to hear it! here's a lil tidbit i wanna share with you, when i mentioned iconic photographs of lips this was one of them by daido moriyama of course!

i am wrapping you in a blanket and sharing a cup of hot choco with you i am giving you the biggest, hugest warm hug i possibly can, i hope you're doing better, wherever you are, and i'm wishing you the very very best. mwah mwah mwah

[cursedvibes]

As a fan of Monster (by Naoki Urasawa), who do you think is a better antagonist in their own story, Johan or Sukuna? Why do you think that? At first I want to ask for comparison between Johan and Kenjaku. But then, I guess you'll answer Kenjaku, right?

Also, somehow, I don't think Kenjaku as an antagonist. Even Mahito is more of an antagonist for me. Sorry if I'm wrong, and if my ask is kinda random and silly.....

P.s

If Monster's characters somehow transported to JJK univese and they got cursed energies, who do you think will survive?

Thanks for the ask, it's really interesting!

First of all for the "Kenjaku as antagonist" part, I can see why you think this way because all major antagonists are there to oppose Yuuji and as things stand right now, Kenjaku doesn't do that. Kenjaku is absolutely an obstacle for Yuuji, pretty much since his birth, but he doesn't really deal with the (very personal and existential) challenge they pose to him. He just waits until the problem goes away by itself... That is why I also think Kenjaku is most accurately described as the "main antagonist" because Kenjaku is the antagonist of the story. Kenjaku is the one who actually brings conflict into the story. If it wasn't for Kenjaku, Sukuna would have died in the Heian era, Yuuji would probably be a pretty ordinary guy, there would be no reincarnated sorcerers and Mahito & Co would have been killed as soon as Gojo got his hands on them, since there is nobody with experience and resources protecting them. Kenjaku pushes the story forward, even after they died, and they are the one who shakes up the status quo and gives the protagonists the opportunity to grow and change both themselves and the world around them. At its base, that is what an antagonist is supposed to do and none of the challenges Sukuna and Mahito provide for Yuuji would be possible if Kenjaku didn't move the story forward in the background and push everyone protagonists and antagonists alike to evolve. Sukuna and Mahito cause chaos and destruction, but they aren't very focused and only very locally based. They only become really dangerous when paired with Kenjaku because Kenjaku can elevate their abilities to a larger scale that affects more than only the people in like a 5km radius.

As for Kenjaku's comparison to Johan, I think they are actually equal for me with maybe Johan slightly ahead because he's just better written. They are actually quite similar. Both are larger scale antagonist that operate internationally and mostly move behind-the-scenes, so getting hold of them is incredibly difficult. Both aren't all that strong on their own, they instead rely on allies and people indebted to them to protect them. Both are relatively unassuming at first glance and able to seamlessly integrate into society, making it hard to find them or pin down their current identity. And both have mommy issues.

Johan & Sukuna

This easily goes to Johan. In Sukuna's defence, we are also still missing a huge part of his story and character background that will probably soon be revealed to us, but at the moment we are missing most of what would give him more depth. It's there in hints, but if we only go with what we solidly know about him so far, he's not much more complex than your average big bad who destroys cities for fun and games with no real rhyme or reason to it and the only thing that really makes him dangerous is his immense strength. He is a very physical threat to overcome.

Johan on the other hand has the advantage of Monster already being completed. His story has been told, we got a deeper look at his motivations and what shaped him into becoming who he is, while not getting any clear-cut answers as to what really first caused him to spiral. Nature vs nurture and all that. I mean, there's still debate over who that titular "monster" is (personally I think it's not Johan), which I think hits just the right balance between remaining mystery that will make you want to reread the story and answer for why he acts the way he does.

Yuuji and Sukuna challenge each other's world views similar to Johan and Tenma, but I don't think it has quite the same weight. Again, I have to say, this is hard to judge because the real conflict between Sukuna & Yuuji hasn't started yet or is just in its early stages of falling into place. Although the key principle is very similar in both cases: how much is a human life worth?

Johan and Tenma are intentionally very binary. Tenma fundamentally believes in the worth of human life and that includes believing that someone like Johan deserves to live, despite the pain he caused. Johan believes no human has worth, including himself, and therefore killing others or yourself is of no consequence. Yuuji and Sukuna fundamentally believe in a similar concept, but with some exceptions. Yuuji believes everyone has a right to live...except himself because he is causing too much hurt for the people he cares about. Similarly, he also very quickly gave up on reasoning or even talking to Sukuna and accepted that Sukuna is such an evil person that he also has to die. Like, killing Sukuna doesn't rob him of any sleep or makes him question his morals, it's pretty clear that Sukuna deserves to die. Sukuna thinks humans are worthless, but he takes himself out of that equation. Like Johan he thinks of himself as a monster and non-human (to a degree), but unlike him, he places himself above others and thinks he and the ones who think like him or live by his standards are more worthy of living than others.

Tenma and Yuuji both live with the guilt of having helped someone survive who will continue to kill others and have to find an answer on how to deal with that dilemma. I would say as far as their respective antagonists are concerned, Yuuji's solution is much easier. Sukuna is cartoonishly evil, no redeeming qualities and unless you are a very principled person, nobody would cry over his death. Whereas Tenma was presented with a child that had been shot in the head and as a doctor he made the very logical decision to do his best to his best to help that child, not knowing he had just killed his adoptive parents. Even after he found out and the years he spend chasing Johan to maybe possibly kill him, he had a much harder choice on his hands because Johan is much more of a real human being. He got traumatized as a child and lives out that trauma on the people around him with violent consequences, but he also is a danger to himself due to his suicidality. It is pretty clear that he is severely mentally ill and at the end, it is always a possibility to put him in prison and give him therapy (it will be difficult to keep him in prison due to his connections, but with the right incentives not impossible). Putting Sukuna in prison and giving him therapy isn't possibly unless Yuuji eats him again.

So I think because the question of how to handle Johan is so much more complex for the protagonists, he ranks above Sukuna here as well. I think a detractor for Sukuna for me is also that Yuuji is much more of an existential challenge to Sukuna than Sukuna for Yuuji. Sukuna doesn't make Yuuji question his morals or his resolution, he is simply an obstacle he has to overcome to save the people he cares about. At this point Sukuna is much more affected by Yuuji than Yuuji by him. A lot of that has to do with Sukuna only really stepping up as an active antagonist after Mahito was gone and Mahito was the one who really challenged Yuuji. Sukuna killed all those people in Shibuya, but it was primarily Mahito who taught Yuuji what real cruelty looks like, he taught him to kill with his own hands, to question his convictions, his morals and how far he is willing to go, how much power he even has to go on. Sukuna only really comes into the picture after Yuuji has already grown from what Mahito put him through. This is less of a clear cut issue, but it's part of why I rank Mahito above Sukuna as far as jjk villains are concerned. It is also why I enjoy Mahito as a villain much more. And this lack of ideological challenge is also another reason for why I think Johan is a better antagonist than Sukuna and why I think the ranking will stay this way even when we get more insight into Sukuna's motivations and background. Sukuna is also just not very scary or threatening, especially not how he has been presented during the Shinjuku showdown. Despite Kenjaku being weaker, I was much more worried about everyone's lives and the future of the entire country than now that it's only Sukuna. He's just like a rampaging bull. There is no mystery or higher-level threat to him, he's just a bit difficult to handle. That makes it not even close between him and Johan.

Monster -> JJK

I think this is very difficult to answer because Monster and its characters are very deeply rooted in our real world and it not being supernatural is what actually makes it so interesting. But if we assumed they became sorcerers and all got transported to Japan (otherwise nothing would really change), I think Nina would survive. She is the only one of the cast who can competently fight while not being wildly suicidal. Roberto and Grimmer are strong with Grimmer's split personality "Steiner" supposedly further amplifying his cursed energy, but they are also fundamentally empty. They would be trained by Kinderheim 511 or Jujutsu Tech into super soldiers and then die young because they have no sense of self or strong will for survival which would get them killed very quickly in the world of jjk. Unlike with their actual stories, they would not be able to develop any coping mechanisms but instead be constantly exposed to their trauma, which will either get them killed Haibara-style or they kill themselves. So that only leaves Nina as the last survivor. Tenma can't fight and also can't kill people, so he's a goner. Johan...maybe he'd take up a similar place to Tengen? In that he organizes a group of influential sorcerers from the back, but he'd ultimately use it to try and kill himself. Maybe in a similar plot as Kenjaku's merger curse. He could create something that would wipe out Japan once and for all and realize his scenery of a doomsday. Nina can then cut his head off (he'd probably survive a bullet to the head again).

[wetcatspellcaster]

So I have finally completed my first (of I’m sure to be many) complete rereads of Pieces now that it’s completed!! What a difference it is actually to read all the way through vs reading as it updates. I truly felt like I was in fight or flight whenever you released a chapter and read it with a resting heart rate of 92837383833 beats a minute. This read was much less stressful but I still caught myself holding my breath at some parts. The story is so amazing, it may be one of my favorite stories overall, not just one of my favorite fics! You are so talented I honestly don’t know how you are so funny one minute then making feel like I’m going to cry in another. I think my favorite funny line is Rose scandalized at Astarion not eating the muffins, it lives in my mind rent free. I’m so happy we still have An Honest Lie because I am now parasocially too invested in you and your updates for all of them to be gone 😅

I have rambled a lot now but I made a tumblr specifically to follow you and a handful of other writers because I loved getting to see WIP snippets and behind the scenes talk of stuff you all work on. Your posts about how appreciated comments are is the reason why I comment on all the fics I am reading, was always too anxious to do so beforehand. I had a baby in November so these fics have been with me while being awake at all hours of the night and kept me sane knowing I had something to look forward to reading while feeding the baby. I feel like they’ve been through the trenches with me and I will always be thankful for the work you do to give such amazing stories!!

PS one last thing I was never a big Hozier person but I finally listened to Unknown and I am VERY EMOTIONAL NOW 🥲

hey darling! thank you for messaging!!!

Unknown/Nth gets us all, eventually :') what a song! I had to write a whole fic about it and everything.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed Pieces on a reread. from my experience of posting with the full fic outline in mind versus the comments I was getting... I can definitely imagine the two experiences being very different!! Definitely easier to go certain places (and end chapters on certain cliffhangers lmao) when the end is in sight. I love seeing stories as serialised narratives versus complete wholes... one of the reasons I'm such a sucker for fanfic! I'm glad it still holds up as a story and I'm really pleased that you like it.

(Also, thank you for the comment about the muffins. It was just a silly bit but... Oscar Wilde would be so proud.)

And just generally, thank you! I often write myself through and out of tricky times in my own life, and it feels strange to know that someone else is going through much bigger changes than me (a baby! you absolute superstar!) and my writing is doing something similar for them that it is for me :) either providing comfort or just a way to relax or have a silly moment to themselves! anyway, I hope you know comments like these are literally the fuel that keep writers writing, and while we are not entitled to them and you are not obliged to give them, it is literally taking the time for messages like this that have convinced me that this is actually something I'm good at and that it is worth my time! I have a silly goldfish memory when it comes to my own talents, I can convince myself my writing sucks in 2hrs or less, and so I am unfortunately doomed to forever need positive reinforcement... and the thing is, I think most writers are the same!

so thank you!! you clearly have a busy life rn, and so spending any of your time talking to me is a massive compliment that I do not take for granted. readers and commenters are a vital part of this little eco-system and so thank you for sharing my writing with me :) you're probably one of the main reasons it happened at all :) xx