#but now i just... can't. i don't. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kopivie · 2 years ago

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aaaand i'm 21 years old today!

happy birthday to me, i guess!

#[ 🌱 — blah blah. ]#i'm... not so sure how i feel #because in all honesty i never thought i would make it this far #i don't feel the same anticipation and excitement for my birthday as i used to feel #and i don't think i will ever feel it again #i miss it. truly i do.#i miss having joy on the one day where i'm supposed to celebrate my life #and it's not like it's always been this way. i had HUGE parties when i was a kid and we often celebrated in fun ways #but now i just... can't. i don't.#it doesn't feel good.#i can't accept presents or goodwill anymore.#so i dunno how today is gonna go. i tried to be optimistic but... i dunno.#i hope i can be happy #i hope 21 treats me well #because i really and truly just want to be happy

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lazylittledragon · 1 year ago

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domesticating your vampire: a memoir

(beautiful high res version on patre0n)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #KARLACH #i nearly forgot her #when you just escaped vampire slavery but now you have to save for a down payment #i can't stress how important it is to me that astarion has a birthday #i don't know why #also sex is fine but have you ever had someone wash your hair for you. there is nothing more intimate #i'm devastated that i had to desaturate the polaroid because the lighting was so pretty

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apollos-olives · 7 months ago

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before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

#don't you think it's so odd how so many palestinians on tumblr were just minding their own business and having fun #and all of a sudden the genocide started and we started dedicating all our time #to helping and start educating people #only for people to start questioning us and harassing us in the most parasocial ways #and now about half of us are deciding not to share about our personal lives or our interests anymore #because we can't be granted the opportunity to actually have personalities outside of our suffering.#a look into our personal lives is a privilege and all of you abused it #all of this is due to the fact that none of you consider us as actual human beings #even if you're “allies” to the palestinian cause. you still dehumanize us to hell and back #i wish you all could see me as someone who is just like you.

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brainrotcharacters · 5 months ago

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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

#i can't believe i'm saying this #DEADPOOL CAN GET IT #Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him #I would too bestie #it's the sass for me folks #paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god #a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think #this is a branch in realities i know it #i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie #all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME #camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch #i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction #i love how you love deadpool #deadpool #wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #wade wilson #logan howlett #poolverine #deadclaws #don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here #@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating #do it again #gif is credit to the owner #30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update #damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here #guys just find my other post

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mythicalcoolkid · 5 months ago

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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

#m/cc #mine #I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges #and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like #a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with #there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example #or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone #*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have #I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side #for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others #for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me #and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public #and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist #that's why there's so much awareness happening for it #but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people

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layzeal · 1 year ago

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ok I'm curious so put in the tags what country you are from and whether or not you own/use a rice cooker

#i'm brazilian and yes!!#tho only now bc my roommate brought hers #back at my parents house we still ate rice everyday but NO RICE COOKER #now that i now the wonder of rice cooker i made them buy one #you just can't go back to the darkness of babysitting rice on the stovetop #edit: almost wanna add a ''and how much do they cost'' cause they're crazy cheap here #and i kinda assumed they'd be everywhere else #but in countries that don't eat a lot of rice i can see them being more expensive

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xxlumos · 1 year ago

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*smooch*

#can't keep this any longer away from you #brainrot was brainrotting that day #I genuinely don't remember drawing this it just happened #just a sketch but maybe someday im gonna clean that up huehue #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 #gos2 #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #fanart #good omens fanart #myart #csp #digital art #illustration #fun fact: I was listening to Hozier while drawing this #GO LISTEN TO DE SELBY (Part 1) NOW ‼

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 25 days ago

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Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)

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egophiliac · 2 months ago

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do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #poketwst #twisted wonderland spoilers #lost in the book with nightmare before christmas #hajimari no halloween #(sorry for leaving anon off for a while! i've gotten a rash of spam and i'm gonna wait it out a couple days before turning it back on)#also apologies for the rest of this not really being pokemon related #i don't have anything right now for part 4 of the event so i'm gonna use this space to go off about it #because. oh man.#a sad lack of the scullsman but a FEAST of everyone else #gotta love malleus and leona uniting in the common goal of hunting trey down for trying to game their whiny pettiness #(trey doesn't know what to do with someone he can't easily distract with cake)#also further confirmation that malleus WILL kill a small child and leona WILL point and laugh the whole time #also sebek's plans revolving around what he knows he's good at: screaming extremely loudly and hoisting nerds #and let us not forget what i consider to be the crowning jewel #which is jamil figuring out IMMEDIATELY where scully has taken his prisoners #only for everyone else to just. literally refuse to do anything about it.#jamil just standing there and going 'WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! WE CAN JUST! GO GET THEM!!!! WHYYY AREN'T WE GOING'#visibly losing his entire mind and it's beautiful #top 10 twst event moments honestly #also some delightful character consistency from jade being all #'actually my dicking around is a sign of my immense trust in your abilities to get things done :)'#'but also consider: there are currently two housewardens chasing a child'#'alternately angrily screaming poetry and begging them not to sue'#'and if you will pardon my city of flowers...there is no fucking way i'm missing that'#lock shock and barrel did not sign up for this. how did these idiots turn out to be somehow weirder than the three of them.#twisted wonderland must be a frightening place indeed

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hilacopter · 10 months ago

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conflating diaspora jews with the actions of the israeli government is not okay, yes, but have you considered it's not okay to conflate israeli jews with them either

#listen. no hate to diaspora jews. y'all are suffering unimaginable antisemitism rn.#but as an israeli it makes me so mad how they're always the only ones leftists care about when it comes to antisemitism if even #“nooo guys we can't be mean to diaspora jews because of isnotreal it's antisemitic and wrong!”#“israelis? now those are completely fine to harass and wish death upon <3”#people just straight up don't see us as humans deserving of basic decency i think #when they at very least pretend to or believe they like diaspora jews #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #israel #jumblr

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knifearo · 1 year ago

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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

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mingyusbinch · 2 years ago

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REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)

#moonbin #astro #moon bin #i don't want to be here right now honestly i just wanted my last post about moonbin to be the ones where hes smiling as my last memory #it kills me to see my posts reblogged with sad messages now #and i still can't believe this news either #i've been mia anyway but now im even less inclined to go on tumblr rn #im so sorry for everyone including family/friends of bin #and himself but i cant think about that bc it will break me apart #rest in peace bin i'll miss you more than anything

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captainbee66 · 23 days ago

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I miss the era of the internet where everyone had an evil alter ego/character that would show up on their channel, just to be silly, that eventually got a lot of lore from the fandom for no reason. It was a simpler time.

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bioethicists · 2 years ago

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'recovering' or 'healing' by starting to hate your former self + shame or mock others for being the way you used to be isn't actually very healing. you can acknowledge + be grateful that you have changed without transferring all your self hatred/shame onto others.

#i see so many ppl like omg i was so cringe with my b/w depression blog + my angsty posts + attention seeking #like no you were just. sad. that's how you were sad then. it's not how you are sad now.#you should have empathy for ppl like that but you don't because you still hate yourself #and you can't stand to see yourself in others because you haven't. actually done much healing lol

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niechys · 18 days ago

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My hand slipped on this

I use @keferon 's design for obvious reason.