#tho only now bc my roommate brought hers

[layzeal]

ok I'm curious so put in the tags what country you are from and whether or not you own/use a rice cooker

[forbidding-souda]

Heyoooooo! Before requesting anything, may I say that your writing is truly AWESOME!! Everything fits the character so well aaa I adore it!!! Keep up the amazing work!!!

Can you plz do some head cannons for Korekiyo, Ibuki and Kazuichi being roommates with their S/O in a small dorm? I think it'd be a cute scenario (sorry if it's a bit much :'] )

Shinguuji Korekiyo, Ibuki Mioda, and Kazuichi Souda living with their S/O in a small dorm

just bullet points for this one because i'm a litttllleee head empty. ALSO TY FOR THE COMPLIMENT IT MEANS THE WORLD!!!!!

i am highly qualified to write this. Bruh I have lived in three different dorm buildings bc I did a swap since my first roommate was homophobic LOLZ. The second dorm I lived in was a corner room so we had a lot of room compared to the others gg but the first dorm i was in was TINY as if it wasn't 1.7k a month like dude come on.

I'm an english major and a child development major btw hmu I'm so cool and awesome. Join the discord to see me post about the funny things my english professor puts on canvas LMFAO.

I added in a bit of just college stuff.

-Mod Souda

Shinguuji Korekiyo

❤ His desk is so full of trinkets that he can hardly use it. Probably just studies in his bed.

❤ He'll gift you some and clutter your side of the room, too.

❤ Lights candles even though they're not allowed.

❤ Incense too.

❤ But he has a good sense of personal space and he keeps to himself. Even when the two of you are dating, he understands the difference between his side of the room and your side of the room.

❤ However, you can sneak into his bed :3 he wouldn't mind.

❤ Just don't sleep on his hair plz he leaves that shit sprawled out.

❤ No bc you probably have his loose hair everyone on the carpet swear to god.

❤ Anthropology major obvi.

❤ Takes academics very seriously!!!

❤ Will just walk around in long sleeves regardless of the weather.

❤ If you're the type of person to study and not go to the dining commons then he'll eat there and then bring you a to-go box.

❤ Definitely keeps sake in his mini fridge.

❤ Isn't on the snap story.

❤ Ask before you use his stuff because he's probably gonna start tweaking if he notices something out of place.

❤ He does not like showering in those dorm showers. He'll probably go to the gym or something.

❤ Probably uses a computer bag instead of a backpack.

.

Kazuichi Souda

❤ Your stuff is his stuff now.

❤ Pushes your beds together. (LMFAOOO)

❤ Mechanical engineering major perhaps. Ngl I only know two of them and idk what they be learning but it sounds about right.

❤ Never does his laundry on time. He leaves it in the dryer.

❤ He doesn't clean for the RA checks either.

❤ And he definitely doesn't care about privacy when it comes to changing. He's just gonna get naked in front of you fr.

❤ He gets doordash a lot.

❤ Will wait for you after class. Or he might have the audacity to just crash one of your lectures.

❤ Walks around the dorm in his underwear.

❤ I'd like to imagine he brought a mirror in the room so he can add the braids in his hair in private awwwww.

❤ Sharpens his teeth in the other bathroom tho gg.

❤ You can spell his cologne from your bed.

❤ Keeps his textbooks on the floor near his bed but the dorm is so small you almost trip over them.

❤ Doesn't take out the trash either.

❤ Uses the campus gym all the time.

❤ If he's not in the dorm he's either at class or hanging out in the gym.

❤ If you do yoga then you can easily convince him to do yoga with you.

❤ His fits are probably firrreeee. But I imagine he wears the same shoes every day.

.

Ibuki Mioda

❤ Will ask to keep things on your side of the room.

❤ You will be in class and then come back to her sleeping in your bed.

❤ Ibuki plz stop dying your hair in the public sink please you're staining the sink PLEASE.

❤ Doesn't even raise her hand in class she just starts talking. Which ik is normal but she like . will just start talking.

❤ Music major? Or is that too obvious. Could be pop culture too. I'm leaning more towards pop culture.

❤ Goes on long rants about like 2300 about what she did in her classes.

❤ She talks as she studies. Is she even studying? You can't tell.

❤ Study date except it's her talking the entire time with Canvas open but not looking at anything.

❤ Probably leaves her pajamas on the floor when she changes in the morning. You can just put them back on her bed for her.

❤ Like Shinguuji, she will also just have her loose hairs everywhere.

❤ She is a bit of a pervert and is like "you can change in front of me :) it's okay :) you can change in front of me :)" (pleading).

❤ Is going to use your body wash without telling you.

❤ Probably plays her music hella loud and the RA will have to knock bc of complaints LMFAO.

❤ ^ Also rents a vaccuum at 3AM and uses it.

❤ Probably gets opps bc of this ^

❤ If she wears a school uniform in Danganronpa then I'm gonna headcanon that she wears merch of the college.

[femmesandhoney]

no one in my family growing up would cook bc my dad and brothers refused to ever do it and my mom was the only one expected to but worked full time on top of looking after us kids and also hated it. She would try to get me to do it but never asked my older brothers so i refused out of spite. And so we all ate individually and lived off microwave meals and snacks.

As an adult i learnt to cook and love making things that are actually nutritious from scratch. I do get somewhat neurotic about not eating frozen meals/junk food but growing up on that has given me lifelong health issues. When people who grew up on homecooked meals for dinner every night call me snobby for avoiding overly processed food my eye starts twitching lmao.

I do wonder tho how many women have a weird relationship with cooking due to it being on one hand, a life skill everyone should have that has a huge impact on general health but on the other hand is something most girls were expected to do for their families and to be a *good wife* for future husbands, and so refusing to learn is almost a rebellion against that. Even now, i love cooking for myself but cooking for other people... nope cant do it :/. Especially not for a man, but ive had female roommates i was cooking for who would joke about me being their wife and start making demands about what i should make, get annoyed if i was too busy to cook, and expect me to cook for anyone they brought over. Its like any women who's doing the cooking is looked down on (even if the food itself is praised) and everyone forgets shes doing them a favor, while men who cook are fawned over.

And i kinda hate how, especially on tumblr cooking for someone is considered an act of love. On one hand i agree, cooking for someone *can* be loving and intimate, but on the other its just like... its almost exclusively women who are expected to cook routinely and its not some fun, loving activity, it's an exhausting chore and if she doesn't do it no one else will.

Sorry for the long rant on cooking, but i cant talk about these things in my real life without everyone thinking im being crazy and over thinking things lol.

"When people who grew up on homecooked meals for dinner every night call me snobby for avoiding overly processed food my eye starts twitching lmao" no i understand this completely anon! as my mom was a single mom, most of the meals i had when i was really little were frozen or microwaveable, it wasn't until i was older my mom started cooking more or at least buying hot meals/ready made fresh food from the grocery store that we were actually eating less processed food for once. my grandma, though, was an amazing cook, so i know my mom grew up with good food every day, that was just expected of moms back then too like you said. so whenever i cook, i love love love just cooking stuff from scratch as much as possible.

and while i get what you're saying overall, and you're right lots of women don't learn to cook as a fuck you to gender roles, i was thinking of my friend and her sister and mom. there's no man in that household lol, so there's not any form of "you should cook while your father/brother sits around". i think probably her mom rebelled against it as a kid and never learned and just never taught her kids then, which is sad af.

i'm sorry your roommates are expecting shit from you though. that's very unfair on you. and i think cooking definitely is a form of love, but it's more actually romantic and sweet when both partners know how to cook and can reciprocate all that effort in an equal way. i think like chef couples are sweet af because you can see both of them equally can balance those acts and that when they cook together there's no stress because you know the other knows what they're doing. people who are like "let's cook/bake" as a fun date idea with their partner but only one knows what they're doing is not fun lmao. you're just micromanaging the other the entire time. sooo romantic and loving.

[emawinslow]

@hidden-joy @behindtheseamp3 you only asked for some fake names to keep all the drama straight but I provided the briefest description of the drama that I possibly could in addition to that. Im not gonna make you read it but it did help me. so here you are.

okay so the suite. there are three bedrooms a small hallway and we all share a bathroom. that’s really all there is to it. here are our players 

me! - whether my narration is reliable is neither here nor there but I try

bella - my roommate. self explanatory. I’m not gonna go over all of it again

cameron- girl who I went out to dinner with basically every night and right before winter break I finally started considering her a friend. roommates with patty

patty - seems super chill but I never really talk to her. she always slams doors tho. cameron’s roommate.

sarah - mean girl suitemate. her and I like clicked on the first day and I thought she was so cool but I also thought she was a lesbian at the time but she is. not cool. first of all she’s straight and she always refers to me as a lesbian even though I’ve told her time and time again that I’m bi. she’s pretty rude to her roommate (marie) even though marie is clearly scared of her. she thinks we’re friends but I Really don’t want to be her friend bc of the whole. rude thing.

marie - admittedly pretty awkward and hard to talk to but it’s really not her fault and she Does seem like a very kind person. sarah’s roommate, poor girl.

okay now the actual happenings. this is a doozy but I’ll paint the whole picture so you can get a sense of the group dynamic. so cameron and patty didn’t know each other before they moved in but they got pretty close through texting and were really good pals by the time we moved in. very early on cameron was inviting me to basically every meal. as previously mentioned sarah and I clicked so sometimes she would join us. In these early days we would have like movie nights n shit with the whole suite. as time went on I saw everybody else less save for cameron who I was still eating with all the time and sarah about once a week when she would join us. the main topic of conversation when it was all three of us was our roommates because sarah didn’t like how “weird” marie was, patty was becoming more distant with cameron and she was taking that very personally, and bella was a slob. but it became clear that sarah was like purposely antagonizing marie by being like rude and passive aggressive and based on marie’s reactions, even in the retellings, it became obvious that she was scared of sarah. cameron and I did discuss this a couple of times out at dinner when we felt like sarah had crossed a line. also sarah just wasn’t the kindest person and I didn’t like how she talked about other women sometimes. anyways cameron and I started getting closer but I still didn’t like her all that much. not that she was like a bad person or even annoying or anything, her and I just didn’t get along super well and it was difficult to find common ground on which to have a conversation which mostly resulted in me talking like 80% of the time because she never really had much to say. and this went on from september to december when it started Finally seeming like we could actually be friends. as for the other suitemates, I kept it as civil as I could with bella, I basically never saw marie, and I rarely saw patty. but when I did see patty she was always like. really rude to me. like she would actively avoid talking to me and would ignore me when I tried to talk to her and once slammed the door in my face on the way to dinner with her and cameron. so I brought it up to cameron because I legitimately didn’t understand why patty didn’t like me but she kept telling me she had no idea. which brings us up to winter break. 

cameron finished all her finals on monday (lucky) so she left on tuesday morning. after my final that day, I talked to sarah and she asked me if I got a text from cameron and I told her I had but it was super normal so I asked why she asked. and after some back and forth sarah read a text conversation between her and cameron. and to backtrack just a bit, over the weekend sarah moved a piece of marie’s tinsel that was in the bathroom (it was very inconvenient) and took down a piece of paper that marie had on their door (she probably shouldn’t have done that but I wasn’t gonna say anything because it was such a small thing). sarah cameron and i had a conversation that sunday and that came up but cameron said it wasn’t that big of a deal. anyways. that tuesday cameron texted sarah “you need to stop screwing with marie’s shit” and cameron isn’t a confrontational person at all so sarah thought she was joking. it became evident that cameron wasn’t joking and sarah (who was genuinely very respectful throughout this whole text exchange) was like “oh I’m sorry it won’t happen again” but cameron kept saying that the way sarah was treating marie was unacceptable and by confronting sarah she was trying to create a “friendly suite environment” and frankly the conversation was much longer than that but it was basically just cameron getting angry and sarah apologizing. at this point I was more confused than angry because cameron isn’t confrontational and every time she’s had an issue with sarah she’s come to me and been like “wasn’t it weird that she was acting like that?” but has never actually confronted her. and I expressed this confusion to sarah and she told me that she thought it was weird that cameron spent so much time around me when she didn’t even like me. and I was like what so sarah told me that cameron had told her that I was a really mean person but i claim

that I’m being mean. like first of all that’s a quote from booksmart second of all I Told cameron that that was something I struggled with (being to blunt and not understanding when I was being rude) and for her to tell me if I ever crossed a line. sarah also told me that cameron said I was just generally a very negative person and she didn’t like being around me which is wild since she invited me out to dinner with her every night. as you may remember. so that was all very shocking and sarah and I started talking about how patty was the most unproblematic suitemate and how she was so cool and chill and just kept to herself. but I was like “I just don’t understand why she doesn’t like me” and sarah was like “wait you don’t??” and I was like “no….is there an actual reason??” and sarah told me why. and it’s apparently because in like the first week during a movie night I made a joke about not trusting people with blue eyes and that really offended her. obviously I didn’t mean that and I was like “oh my god I had no idea no wonder I really never meant to hurt her” and sarah was like “yeah I just figured you knew because patty talked to cameron about it a lot” like. I asked cameron about it so many times because I really couldn’t understand why patty hated me so much and she claimed she didn’t even notice that she didn’t like me (slamming a door in my face and blatantly ignoring me wasn’t a good enough hint) and that she had no idea why party didn’t like me. but yeah she was just withholding that info from me for whatever reason even though I was very stressed about it. also, side note, at the time I was like “omg I totally understand why she would be so upset with me over that” but after explaining the story to more people literally no it doesn’t lol. like sorry but holding a months long grudge with somebody you literally share a bathroom with over a joke like that is pretty ridiculous. anyways. sarah and I had a very lengthy conversation about our own flaws and how we’ve been trying to become better people. I explained more about how hard it is for me to read social situations and how similar we are personality wise compared to the other suitemates. like we kept saying that we have big personalities and are so much louder and more than all the other suitemates which caused us to question whether or not we are the drama lol. in my opinion she is but I’m not I keep the hell to myself man. sarah keept going back to the topic of cameron and calling her a bitch and how she never wanted to talk to her again and that she’s fake and dead to her. but just I kept saying that I wasn’t even upset I was just really confused. which was true. but for the most part that last 30 minutes of our conversation was a lot of self reflection more than anything else.

so sarah went back to her room and I get an instagram message from cameron that just says “I have no personality, huh?” which like. woah. so I screenshotted it and thank god I did because when I clicked on the conversation and she had already unsent it and there was only a text that said “haha” so I was like “I saw the other text what are you talking about?” according to cameron, patty was listening through the wall to the whole conversation and overheard sarah and I say that patty and cameron have no personalities (it is important to note I was under the impression that patty was listening through the wall to this whole conversation. and I’m not gonna hold that against her bc if it were me I would have listened in too). which we never said actually. so I explained to cameron that I never said that about her and so she asked me if sarah had been talking shit about her. I told her that I wasn’t gonna talk about a conversation sarah and I had In confidence and that if patty overheard everything, couldn’t she just tell cameron what she heard? cameron was upset because she assumed that meant sarah was talking shit about her (correct assumption) but apparently everything with me and her was cool because she immediately started texting me about boy problems. in the meantime I texted patty saying that we could talk if she wanted but she told me no she was busy with finals. eventually I did brief sarah on that and she got even more mad. then winter break came and went. I texted cameron happy birthday and we had a brief convo and on the last day of break she texted me asking when I was going to get back and I told her and that was the last contact we had. 

when we got back, sarah was still very upset with cameron but hadn’t talked to her either. also at this point I must admit I was hanging out with sarah a little bit to keep her appeased because she thinks we’re like besties and I don’t wanna be rude. but she knows I don’t have friends and tbh I think she’s treating me like a charity case. anyway. I saw cameron on campus and she avoided me even though I would have said hello but that’s really all that’s happened with her. but more recently I received a text from marie asking if I was here for the weekend but I wasn’t and I asked her if everything was okay and she said no but she would explain later. the next night I was in the suite and she wasn’t there. when I ran into marie in the dining hall I asked her if everything was okay and she said she was “just figuring some things out” but yes she was fine. and that night I had dinner with sarah and she told me that on saturday a boy was over very briefly to pick her up to go on a walk and marie came back and was very uncomfortable and awkward. then that night she never came back to the dorm. at the beginning of the year marie was like keeping tabs on sarah a lil bit just to make sure she was safe and sarah got mad at her for it so sarah thought it would be hypocritical asking her where she was. but the next day marie came back very briefly and brought up an instance from the beginning of the year in which sarah took a picture of marie without her knowledge or consent wearing sunglasses to bed. which is a very weird thing for sarah to do and I told her as much when she first showed me the picture. but bella had told marie about it which was actually very real of her. then marie was gone that night (sunday too). so sarah asked bella what was going on and bella told her that marie was staying somewhere else on campus and that she was fine and that they were thinking about a room swap in which marie and bella are together and sarah and I are together. but that’s all she got out of her. then last night I asked bella if marie was okay and she essentially told me the same thing and that pretty much has us caught up. I’m sure I’m missing some things and it’s a lot more underwhelming when I type it all out but I think you just need to remember that we’re all sharing a bathroom. 

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

ok this all started about 10 months ago when my 4 roommates and I moved in together. we got 3 keys from the post office for our shared mailbox. my roommate technically owned these keys yet she put them where everyone could use them so it was no issue. one day she stopped putting the keys in an accessible area where everyone could use them because someone was not putting them back. I cant confirm or deny this because I know I wasnt doing this. there is one roommate (now moved out) who would possibly do something like this. I dont agree with that if she did thats not super relevant to the story tho.

anyway many months get by of having to ask my roommate to borrow her keys every time I needed to get the mail. she had 3 keys, mind you, and wouldn't even put one out for all of us to use. the mail would pile up so much that there would be weeks and weeks worth of it shoved into our mailbox and packages sitting in the parcel lockers for just as long. she clearly wasn't even getting the mail herself on a regular basis. also it feels super demeaning to have to ask your roommate for the keys to your own mailbox.

I tried to stay calm and civil with her because even though I am not afraid to be confrontational I also don't like dealing with shit like this. what set me off was getting a notice for my blood test bill being almost late (paid it on time thank g-d) because the mail hadn't been brought in for weeks.

possibly important context is that towns in the southwest USA with decent amenities like doctors offices and whatnot are typically 45min-1hr apart by car. theres smaller villages in between and those usually don't have much more than a gas station and small store if even that. the closest blood testing office that all medical offices generally accept is about an hour away. if I didnt pay my bill in time I would likely no longer be allowed to get blood work done there and I may have to drive 2-3 hours instead of 1.

I ended up confronting her about this and I didn't yell but I sure as fuck wasn't calm and patient. I told her that either she needed to let me make copies of the mail keys or get the mail herself on a regular basis. there were 3 other people living there besides her and if she was gonna hoard the only 3 keys it was her responsibility to get the mail. she kept saying "its not my responsibility" and all that sort of bs.

anyway I decided to go to USPS on my own and asked if they made mail keys because afaik you only get 3. I figured that remained the same but I asked just in case something changed. eventually my roommate decided that we should both go to usps together so she could ask about the mail keys which I was silently pissed off abt bc I felt like she didn't trust me just to ask questions about keys. we still went though and she asked the questions when the very kind employee said they only provide 3 keys and she said "oh I didn't know that!"

I used to tell white lies a lot and its a habit I've done very well to grow out of. I said that that was completely new information even though it wasn't . I am not proud of this, yet I did it because if I said anything else I would have decked her. I didnt wanna bother the very nice employee. I had been to this post office days earlier and was told to my face that there were only 3 keys and they didn't make copies. she either forgot this over the course of a few days or was totally bullshitting this. whichever it was i wasn't happy.

anyway she eventually allowed me to take one of her keys and copy it. it took literally 15 minutes including the drive and now we have a few extra keys (a couple I keep on my keyring). there are plenty for everyone to have at least 2 and if we ever need more ill gladly make them. also I get the mail on a regular basis. im definitely not a saint however im sure as fuck not letting packages bake in the heat for weeks and weeks and everyone deserves regular access to their mail when they need it.

what rlly pisses me off in a way thats unrelated to this story is my roommate's superiority complex. she does act very nice on the outside and I dont believe that's fake I think she's really just outwardly very nice. which is amazing! (its still not the type of personality I vibe with and that's my problem, not hers. not her issue that get weirded out when people are too happy-go-lucky). what truly bothers me is her actions show she puts so little faith in the people around her and believes she is the only one who can do things right. although my other two roommates weren't perfect bc no one is (both moved out now) they were good, kind, smart, reasonable people who never deserved to be treated like they're lesser and I didnt deserve that either. we also didn't deserve dozens of envelopes in the mailbox at a time

am I pissed off that even though my roommate and I have mail keys im literally the only one who gets the mail? yeah kinda. I dont mind getting the mail its more about the fact that she could but never does.

also if u want more context pls ask bc there is a story behind all this. I dont like her very much shes perfectly nice I just can't stand her

[ackerfics]

hange and their best friend (reader) "platonically" flirt with one another, they use pet names for each other, making others think they're together unintentionally. until reader finds an s/o, not knowing hange actually likes them

she — hange zoe

— hange zoe x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: angst ??? the stinging feeling you get when you see someone you love, love someone else

— summary: hange's best friend found love in the form of autumn while hange associates her with all of the seasons.

— word count: 2.5k

— notes: i love hange but i hate myself for writing something that hurts them :<<< they're my first love in aot and it pains me to imagine them hurting in any sort of way (which is probably the reason why i bawled my heart out in chap 132). this little fic hit too close at home for me bc it's exactly what i felt one time during high school. it's fucking traumatizing and istg, i don't want to relive falling in love with a friend again, it's like the most satisfying way to hurt, too. happy reading tho :<<<

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

She embodies everything positive in Hange’s eyes.

She is spring — the bursting of blossoms under the tendrils of sunlight seeping between the spaces of the trees in the woods. Every time Hange closes their eyes, they are reminded of how she signifies every single flower they ever know. She makes them feel everything at once — see every color at once in a single frame. There is no space for artistic abilities in Hange’s calloused, mismatched hands but when it comes to her, they can create a myriad of paintings encapsulating her beauty at every stroke of a brush. Her laughs, her flowery perfume that doesn’t hurt their nose, her smiles that are as radiant as the early morning Sun — are ingrained in their brain. She brings forth the butterflies that Hange carefully imprisoned in their ribs, the monarchs’ wings already seeping through the cracks at every joke she makes, reaching to their heart until every beat swayed to the sound of her giggles.

“Hange, the love of my life, there you are!”

Hange turned around with a huge smile on their lips. Their conversation with Levi came to an abrupt stop, with the shorter man mumbling along the lines of ‘here we go again’. The small smile on his face spoke otherwise while watching two of his closest friends hug each other as if they didn’t live together in an apartment right outside of campus. It was such a mystery that Hange could be so comfortable around someone to the point of playfully kissing their neck in public, followed by their best friend’s melodious laughs soon after. However, Levi couldn’t be fooled. He knew the glint in the brown-haired person’s eyes. The downturn of their eyebrows when their best friend wasn’t looking. The longing was apparent when she was talking to someone across the room.

The idiot going by the name Hange Zoe was irrevocably in love with their best friend, [Name] [Last Name].

“What is it, baby?” Hange asked vibrantly, glasses reflecting the equally excited girl in their arms. “Didn’t know your class dismissed this early. What happened?”

“Nothing. Our professor announced that we should visit a museum for our finals.” She then mimicked the haughty tone of her Art History professor, straightening her back to make herself appear taller. “Choose a painting or a sculpture and trace down its history and attach your critique in the final output. If I see anyone half-assing this paper, I will not hesitate to give a failing grade that will make you retake this class. I know you lot don’t want to see me again for another semester and I don’t want to see you again, too. So, prove to me you’re worth your standing in this course.” She cleared her throat. “What he said.”

Hange whistled. “Dang, I’m happy that I didn’t follow you to the Arts Department. Your professor sounds like a complete asshole.” They chortled the next second. “Sounds like my mom, to be honest.”

“At least your mom makes a bomb bento box.”

“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.” Hange then nuzzled their face in her hair. “But your bento boxes taste much more delicious — I could eat them all day. Can I be your partner so that you’ll cook for me every day?”

“I’ve already taken the position of your wife the moment I agreed to be your roommate in university, sweetheart. And I cook for you every single day so you don’t have to ask to be my partner because you already are.”

Hange looked smug at her reply, the heat in their cheeks traveling to their ears. “That was a rhetorical question but hearing those words come out of your mouth, it’s making me feel things.”

“Oh? What are those things?”

The brown-haired person snickered under their breath, glancing at Levi who was now looking at the two of them in that lazy way of his that might come off as him being annoyed again. In reality, he was only waiting for the two to finally stop flirting to recognize he was there. His daily job of being a third-wheel should’ve started fifteen minutes ago but Hange wouldn’t let [Name] go. Hange turned back to the expectant girl. “I don’t want Levi to hear what I’m about to say. Just expect something back at the apartment,” they joked, a cheeky smile tugging at their lips.

[Name] laughed heartily. “I’m looking forward to that, gorgeous.”

“I’m still here, you know?” Levi dryly made himself known. He huffed and turned around in the direction of the university restaurant. “Come on, lovebirds, let’s have lunch. Oh, and [Name]?” When he heard her little hum of acknowledgment, Levi slightly turned around to meet his friend’s eyes with his jaded ones. “It’s your turn to buy me a drink. Make it a venti today.” She only blinked at him, giving him no choice but to resort to that dumb thing she always asked. “Please can I have a venti this time? I got you and Hange a venti last time so this makes us even.”

“Ooh, make mine a venti, too, baby!” Hange squeezed their best friend’s waist.

“Anything for my sweetheart.”

“Again, I’m right here, you know.”

Just the thought of that little scenario hurts Hange.

But as much as the pain comes in the package, she is still summer in their eyes.

The Sun can’t compare to the brilliance of her smile. Kind smiles and gentle touches under the warm rays of the summer heat. Her scent is yellow to Hange — so bright and warm that they don’t care how long they bask in her presence, never caring if they get burned because it feels so right to be within her orbit. She urges them to feel so loved and so special, tender caresses of her warmth cascading down every vein until it reaches their heart. The cerulean waters of the sea hold nothing against the beauty of her grins, brown eyes searching for her every time of the day no matter how ethereal the world painted itself to be. Viewing the sights with rose-colored glasses is what they may call it but for Hange, it’s simply her. Someone once said that summer brings forth a paradise where blue covers everything in its wake, the cry of the seagulls reverberating in the distance, and the scent of ice cream flickers in the breeze. For Hange, summer is in the form of pretty close-lipped smiles, of late-night movie marathons on a worn-out couch, of bento boxes filled with their favorites, of a scent so saccharine, and a loyal friend.

A friend.

Of course. No matter where Hange goes, that word haunts them. Hidden beneath their smiles, their jokes, their longing, and admiring stares. It’s a reminder of where they stand in this limbo they created. At one point, they thought that line had been crossed only for it to be established again in permanent ink. And before they know it, Hange is tumbling down in a spiral, along with a change of seasons.

Fall is where everything started.

The orange glow of the leaves created the perfect view as she sipped on her tall cup of warm coffee. The blissful sigh that came soon after warmed up Hange, even though they were seated in front of each other in the outside tables of the small cozy café where Levi was working at. The chill brought by the autumn wind caused both of them to shiver in their layered clothing. The way she nuzzled more into her scarf made Hange coo, reaching out to pinch her cheek affectionately. Autumn was both their favorite season, how it made them resort to the comfort and warmth their sweaters bring, or how they cuddle in each other’s beds with the air conditioner blasting despite the cold. It was also a season where Hange could admire her in their hoodie, a piece of clothing that swallows her whole because she’s so small compared to their lanky figure.

Hange remembered being called out here because she wanted to talk about something. Now that they thought about it, her cheeks appear to be glowing more than usual and she kept glancing inside the café where Levi was busy telling his coworker how to make the new drink. Hange even went as far as following her gaze but they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary other than Levi sighing in that stressful way of his that always made them snicker. They turned back to their Sun, who was once again in a daze while staring at the clear windows of the café. “So,” they prolonged the syllable, “how’s life going, darling? I know we’re living in the same apartment but I just can’t help but ask you this because it seems like you’re always in a daze these days.”

A pause made the breeze’s call known.

“Hey, Hange, have you ever been in love?”

That spread the chill even more inside Hange’s chest. She called them by their name. Not sweetheart nor big spoon. The reality washed over Hange like a pail of freezing water.

“W-What?” Damn, they couldn’t keep the stutter off their words.

She turned her head to them, eyes so soft and smile so beautiful that made Hange breathless for one second. The butterflies dwindled, losing their iridescent wings when they realized that look wasn’t reserved for them anymore. “I thought about it,” she murmured, rubbing her numbing fingertips on the warm cup. “I have never fallen in love with anyone before. Sure, I love you and all our friends but I’ve never stopped and thought about how someone can look like starlight in front of me. But recently,” again, that pretty smile that pierced Hange’s chest, “I never knew that it could hit me that unexpectedly.”

Hange grinned despite the pounding of her chest. “So, who’s the lucky person?”

She chuckled, going back to staring at the interior of the café. “I told Levi to lay off on scolding her but he never listens, says she’ll never grow a backbone if he’s being considerate on her.”

Now, they’re confused because the only people manning the counter as she spoke was Levi (and she would never fall in love with Levi, seeing as they grew up together like siblings rather than the childhood friends that they are) and a strawberry blonde who looked like Levi’s become their worst nightmare. It took Hange a full minute to process that the person she’s been staring at was never their mutual friend, but the strawberry blonde who looked up towards their direction and waved with a pretty blush on their cheeks. She waved back with the same shyness, leaving Hange dumbfounded. “Wait, the person you’re in love with is—”

“Yeah, it’s her.”

Suddenly, Hange understands why she’s starting to like autumn.

It reminds her of the girl’s hair, which she gushes about smelling like coconut. It reminds her of the girl’s preferred perfume, how it smells so much like cinnamon, something that she sometimes puts in her autumn drinks because in her words, ‘it’s the perfect season rather than winter’. It reminds her of the girl’s hugs, the way both of them fit with each other like lost puzzle pieces.

But as the seasons change, feelings of long-term pining will always be constant.

“Are you okay, though?” Erwin asked them, blue eyes reflecting their pathetic faux smile. He pushed the plate of pasta to them since Erwin had an idea that Hange wasn’t eating that much now. It also worried [Name].

“Yeah, four-eyes, I know you’re not doing that great and I’m saying this in the friendliest way possible because we’re worried now,” Levi reminded them, sipping on his tea with slightly narrowed eyes. “You always decline whenever we want to bring you to somewhere, to the point of leaving Nanaba on voicemail. You always answer at the first ring. Look here, shitty four-eyes,” the way Levi enunciated the nickname made Hange slowly turn their head to him, face void of the smile they were known for, “shouldn’t you be happy for her? [Name] gained the courage to confess and you’re here moping when you should’ve been supportive—”

“And what of my feelings, Levi?”

That made Levi blink and feel like an asshole.

Then, the dam broke.

“I’ve been with her all this time, you’ve seen that. You witnessed how this shy girl opened up to an extroverted idiot and became one of her best friends during high school. It feels like I can’t fucking breathe because I always thought we were meant to be. When she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. When she got a bad grade on an exam, I was the one who knows what flavors of ice cream she wants or how she eats them together like a fucking milkshake. Every day, I never expected her to look my way like she looks at her girlfriend right now. It fucking hurts. It feels so empty to know that I’m not the one she fell in love with. What did I lack? Should I be sweeter and gentler like that girl? Or dainty whenever I eat like she is? Be girly and dress up like a doll? Fuck, I can’t even bring myself to hate her girlfriend. She’s so nice and kind and sweet, anything I’m not.” Hange buried their hands in their hair, making it messier than it was.

“I just want [Name] to love me and make things wonderful. Why isn’t Fate on my side this time?

“Why didn’t she choose me?”

Tears were now drifting down like snowflakes.

“Hange,” Erwin murmured.

“Look, sunshine, it’s snowing!”

A voice catches their attention. A strawberry blonde cheers the words with glee painted in her eyes. Beside her is the subject of the trio’s conversation, the subject of a brown-haired person’s affections. Her eyes are taking in the beauty that is her girlfriend. She looks so pretty in love — how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how snow clung on her eyelashes as if she is a fairy straight from a fairy tale Hange loves when she was a kid. Her girlfriend takes her hand and pulls her to the restaurant where the trio is watching from the windows. Gray and blue irises slide over a somber bespectacled person, gauging their reaction though their face never gives anything away.

“I’m right behind you, Petra. I just took the time to admire you because you’re so pretty under the snow.”

“Stop it! You’re prettier!”

“Did you know that seeing the first snow of the year together with the person you love, your relationship will rival that of eternity?”

“Then, I’m happy I get to see this first snow with you, sunshine.”

“Me, too, angel.”

Hange smiles under a steady stream of tears. “I’m happy for her. I’m happy she found happiness even if it’s not with me.”

The chill blows inside the warm walls of the restaurant the moment the door opens, [Name]’s joyous greetings for her best friends bringing smiles to two of them. Her eyes drift to brown ones before turning to Petra to ask for a pack of tissues since Hange’s tears are still visible. Hange watches the commotion with a small smile, the chill spreading through them like a snowstorm.

Winter is here.

general taglist:

@angelofthorr

[buckys-black-dress]

go green

a/n: feeding u children w a lil somethin before i put out pt 6 of afl and another frat!buck piece! sorry i've been a lil mia, i was very much so having a crisis bc someone i see everyday got covid (dw i'm vaxxed & neg tho!) so now all my friends are in qtine :( anyways, without firther ado... here is high!frat!bucky! this is your content warning that drugs such as marijuana is a heavy theme in this piece, and so is sex (penetrative). if this makes you uncomfy (or if ur a minor), please tap off! love, ali xoxo

wc: 1.3k words

-

Listen, it hadn't been your idea to take these edibles. But you and Bucky were enjoying a rare night in. No party, no obnoxious friends to bother you two. Your roommate had decided she would be spending the weekend at her boyfriend's place, so what better time than the present?

Your apartment is lit by the dim glow of a few lamps and smaller lights scattered, but the aura is calm and relaxed.

You've only gotten high a few times from your time in college, but year two is coming to a close and you've never been high with Bucky.

He does smoke occasionally, and you usually have to take care of his aloof messes during his little stints with Sam and Tony.

"Okay, so you're just gonna have a few of these candies, or I have a brownie. Up to you, sweetheart." Bucky lets you choose your edible of choice, and he eats whatever you didn't want.

You're sitting practically in his lap, and while your movie is playing, but it's becoming harder and harder for you to focus on the actual plot.

"Babe, I barely feel anything. Should I eat some more?" You begin, but as you lean forward out of his hold, your body catches up with your mind.

"Woah, nevermind. Don't need any more." You snuggle back into his arms and look up at him.

Bucky's looking back down at you with a dopey grin, no doubt from the weed coursing through his system right now. But you're also way too far gone to notice anything.

"I love you so much, Y/N." He all but mumbles. Bucky's mouth is practically on yours.

"Baby, I love you too. More than you know." You respond, and you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper into the pit of your intoxication. All you can see is the slight red swirled with the blue of his eyes, and you can't even look away for a second.

"Out of all the girlfriends I've had, you're my favorite." He says, and you shake with laughter.

A snort escapes from you, which triggers a laugh from Bucky.

"Way to," you wheeze, "way to make a girl feel special, baby." You can't keep in your giggles, and when Bucky tries to stand up while still picking you up, you're convinced you're going to wet your pants.

"You're gonna drop me!" You drag out the last word, but Bucky's soon placing you down on the kitchen counter.

"'M hungry." You state, pouting like a child.

"I know, doll. 'S why I brought your cute ass in here. Without droppin' ya." Bucky emphasizes his last words, and you both let out a big laugh.

"I was kidding, babe." You fake pout, your lips jutted out. Bucky leans over your frame with hands on both sides of your thighs and gives you a quick peck. He reaches into the cabinet behind your head to open, instead hitting your head with it.

"Ow! Baby, what the hell?" You're now both doubled over in laughter, your hand holding onto your head.

"S-Sorry, sweetheart. Was tryin' ta get the chips, but-" Bucky's laugh cuts off the rest of his defense, and you can't help but keep giggling with him.

His head is rested on your shoulder, the both of you still laughing while he feeds you said chips.

After a few minutes, you look at him in silence.

"Water, please, baby?" You ask with the sweetest face you could muster at the moment, and Bucky's already filling you up a glass.

"Ah, thank you, baby. Love you so much." You repeat to him again. Bucky had remembered you telling him about how you were an affectionate person while high, and it was definitely showing right now.

"Love ya more, sweetheart. Couldn't love anyone as much as I love you." He replies.

"No one? Not even Steve?" You ask, letting a chortle out.

"Hey, that's not fair, he's like my brother." He pouts, and now it's your turn to kiss it away.

"I know, lovie." You smile. Your hand is stroking his face and his hair, relishing in his beautiful, soft hair.

"Your hair is so soft. How do you get it this soft?"

"Babe, you ask me this every time you touch my hair. You bought me my conditioner." Bucky rolls his eyes in fake annoyance, and leans in to kiss you again.

As his mouth is molding against yours, you feel nothing short of floating. The air around you doesn't exist, nothing does; except for your perfect boyfriend who's kissing you right now with everything he has in him.

"Mm, baby, bed?" He asks between kisses, and you just respond with a fervent nod.

He hoists you up once again, and you're laughing, again.

"Don't drop me." You echo your previous words in a singsong voice.

In a moment's notice, Bucky's already pushed you into two walls before dropping you on your bed.

"You have horrible high coordination." You're both laughing as he climbs on top of you and kisses down your neck.

"Hey, hey, I gotcha here in one piece, right?" He defends himself, and you laugh in response.

He's working on removing your shorts and sweatshirt, which is already a large task. Bucky's hands get tangled in your lacy underwear, which you found to be the most hilarious thing ever at the moment.

"Baby, it- it's not funnnyyyy." Bucky's giggling gets you laughing even harder, but eventually, you're both naked.

"Condom?" He asks, your neck being littered with bruises.

"Mm, nightstand." You point, and he fumbles for a bit and lets his body drop onto yours.

"B- Bucky," you all but yell and howl.

"One sec!" He's up and rolling the condom onto his hard length, which he's also having trouble with.

"Don't laugh at me!" His indignation is clear when you put the back of your hand over you mouth to suppress the laugh.

"Just, get over here."

Bucky's frame is on top of you again, but now you're way too excited to think any further.

"You want it, baby? Yeah? Use your words for me." He tells you, and you feel a rush of wetness between your thighs.

"P-Please, baby, want you inside of me." You tell him, and all you can hear is a groan from him. He gently slides inside of you, and you feel like your mind is about to explode.

"Oh, oh my God!" You let out a moan at the feeling of the slow, deep stroked that Bucky's taking.

"Thas' my girl, makin' me feel so damn good," Bucky's deep, raspy voice is in your ear, and it's about to drive you over the edge.

"Please, faster baby." You plead, and Bucky's moan tells you just how good he's also feeling.

Your stomach feels like it's been filled up, Bucky's thickness making you clench around him just to feel him properly.

But when you feel Bucky's hand reach down between you two, and his ministration of "C'mon, sweetheart, come for me. Let me feel your tight pussy come around my cock."

With his words, you reach possibly the best orgasm of your entire life. You feel Bucky also coming, but you feel like you're laid on a cloud. Like you're floating. All you can see is white, and your brain has gone absolutely fuzzy at the feeling that Bucky's stirred up inside you.

After a few minutes, you come back down onto Earth when you feel Bucky pull out. He ties up the condom and tosses it into the bin, and he's holding you on top of his chest.

"You okay, baby?" He's petting your hair and sees your eyes are still not focused.

"Mhm." Is all you can manage, and Bucky's pulling on some boxers while he slips on one of his shirts over your frame.

"G'night, my love." He pecks your forehead, turning off the lamp and pulling your blanket over the both of you.

When you drift into the best sleep of your life, all you can think is, 'we are so doing that again.'

-

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[neptrabbit]

So. Here are some of my personal thoughts on ith movie. since this post is LONG, most of the thoughts are leaning towards criticism & ofc it contains spoilers so imma put my bad takes under cut. they’re my personal, subjective opinion, so it’d be normal if you agree/disagree. anyways, you’ve been warned.

The opening song

stage performance & movies are two VERY different media, so unavoidably they had to make many changes to adapt the musical to big screen. One thing they were trying to adapt was the breaking the fourth wall narration in the opening song. they changed the setting of a lot of these lines to Usnavi telling a bunch of kids in an unknown future timeline abt Washington Heights. I personally am not a fan of this decision. the cut between the two different timelines in that 8 min release got me pretty confused & taken out & that feeling did not change much when i was watching the movie either. in the course of the movie, suddenly cutting to future timeline breaks the flow & consistency of the narrative for me, esp since the future scenes rlly aren’t that long. Ik it's for the reveal in the end. I still don't like it.

Choreography

the choreography & cinematography by themselves are hella fantasitc. there’re VERY pretty scenes and choreography, esp during songs. from top of my head i can name a few: the reflection of dancing in the opening song, the running scene in It Won’t Be Long Now, the pool scene (with Vanessa floating on a life saver in the middle) in 96000, THE FUCKING ENTIRETY OF PACIENCIA Y FE, the dancing in The Club, the horizontal dancing scene in When The Sun Goes Down, etc. But a lot of the scenes, esp those that involve group dancing, seems a bit out of place when they seem to take place in the real world rather than on stage. This is prolly another demonstration of the difference in the media of stage performance & movies. I had a hard time to suspend my disbelief, and the movie trying to place some of the dancing in the actual narrative rlly didn’t make it better for me.

(at first I thought for some reason the pool scene in 96000 was everyone’s imagination coming together & was looking forward to it. I did not expect it to actually take place in a pool in the movie & they even used a whole sequence of them going to the pool to show them going to the pool to set it up. So is the dancing in the intro. i did not expect an overhead shot to reveal that it actually happened. Moments like these gave me serious pauses & made me unable to rlly appreciate the fantastic cinematography & choreography.)

bc of the reason i stated & the fact the movie is so centered around these songs & the plot gets cut by the narration from the future, this movie kinda strikes me as a series of well-made music videos connected by loose plots & themes rather than an actual movie.

Plot change

as we all are aware, they made several choices regarding the plot. 

changing nina’s reason to leave Stanford from unable to take care of school & jobs to provide for her living at the same time to experience of racism. i’m personally not a fan of this change - i am not implying that racism is not an issue that poc experience daily. It’s just, I expected a more nuanced discussion on racism & identity in a movie centered around a socially & financially marginalized minority group than a few lines of “my roommate lost her shit so her & RA searched me”, “the school board thought i was a waitress at diversity dinner”, “the waiters looked at me in the looks that question if i am with them”, and “i felt lonely and without a community there”. They are pretty superficial considering their impact in the story. tbh the line “when i was younger i’d imagined what would happen if my parents had stayed in Puerto Rico” did a much better job to capture the identity crisis that first gen immigrant children go thru and gave me more emotional impacts than all the horrible things stanford did to nina. 

deleting Hundreds of Stories and putting Paciencia y Fe right before abuela’s death. i understand it’s a narrative choice bc they decided to reveal that abuela won the lottery later & make it that Usnavi had saved to move to DR in the beginning. in the changed lyrics of Paciencia y Fe we also had a peak of abuela’s struggle of deciding whether to leave or stay in Washington Heights. which is nice. but putting that song right before abuela dies rlly makes her conflicting feelings unimportant to the story... maybe the leave or stay refers to her dying, but she doesn’t rlly have much of a choice either way, does it. she’s just.. kinda like some characters in anime.. whose tragic backstory is narrated right before they die to get the readers emotional... but in a pretty song sequence... the choreography & lighting is very pretty tho. gotta give credit where it’s due.

Sonny’s subplot. i rewatched the movie and realized that there was some foreshadowing of his illegal status in the beginning when Daddy Sonny was talking to Usnavi, but tbh it was quite easy to miss.. so i was a bit surprised when they brought up Sonny’s subplot when there was only 45 min left of the movie. that was not enough time to fully develop this plot, esp given that time is used for other subplots too. we know Sonny is very aware of the politics & is sorta an activist, but him wanting to be like Nina & wanting to get into college wasn’t established earlier, so that part following the protest scene feels a bit flat.

Other things

I’ve seen the discussion of the film’s lack of rep of Afro-Latinos, but I am not the most qualified person to talk abt the experience of Afro-Latino community. I’m keeping my ears open and learning on this subject. 

I liked that they made Daniela & Carla a couple and was excited when i heard the news. The movie itself was not rlly explicit on their relationship tho - there were scenes of Carla pulling Daniela outta bed in the beginning & their dancing. but tbh the fact that they added a third Salon lady, Cuca, who’s always hanging around, makes D&C relationship harder to notice. Im not gonna say blink and you’ll miss it, but it’s pretty easy to miss. obv their relationship has nothing to do w the main plot, but eh. wished it was more explicit.

Tl;dr: i think they have a lot of interesting ideas that they didn’t explore fully so the movie feels a bit all over the place. this goes for Vanessa’s hope to become a fashion designer, Nina’s experience of racism & identity crisis, Sonny’s illegal status. Loved Daniela and the songs tho. Piragua song’s funny as hell. A bit sad they didn’t paint abuela in the finale :(

i am familiar w the source material & liked it a TON but i don’t like it enough to feel nostalgia.. so i can’t go in there with a fresh mind & see it without comparing it to the original, and neither do i hold so much affection for it that i can happily ignore the defects. so honestly i’m probably in the group that has the worst experience watching it

also: pls lmm i beg u pls don’t make a live action adaption of hamilton, pls

[kitty8roses]

This is what I sent to her lol (under a cut tho bc im not that mean)

DONT LOOK UNDER THIS CUT FOR GIVEN SPOILERS!!!!

Ritsuka quickly realizes that Mafuyu is an exceptionally talented singer, and invites him to join the band. Ritsuka learns that Mafuyu's guitar was previously owned by Yuuki, Mafuyu's childhood friend and boyfriend who died in an apparent suicide. The band begins composing music in advance of a live performance, but Mafuyu is unable to write lyrics for the song.

On the day of the performance, Mafuyu has a breakthrough and sings a powerful song about his feelings of loss over Yuuki. The song prompts Ritsuka to realize his romantic feelings for Mafuyu; he kisses him backstage, and they begin dating shortly thereafter.

The band names itself – "Given", in tribute to the guitar given to Mafuyu by Yuuki – and begin to develop a following after posting a video of their live performance online. Given qualifies for a major amateur music festival, and begin preparing new material. Their efforts are complicated when Akihiko, who Haruki secretly has romantic feelings for, becomes involved with his roommate and ex-boyfriend Ugetsu.

Ok so in the beginning of our show: our first protag mafuyu sato is seen walking to school In the rain (with an umbrella tho lol) he says, as narrator, “mafuyu is not lonely.” And also some other stuff that’s all vibe you know? So THIS is repeated through out the series with him saying that “mafuyu isn’t lonely” especially when something bad happens. The thing is he IS lonely. Why you may ask? Well, his ex boyfriend from middle school killed himself and he thinks it’s his fault and stuff. They had gotten into an argument and he drank himself to death. RIP yuki. The only time where I personally believe this statement of ‘not loneliness’ is true is after Uenoyama (other protagonist and love interest) kisses him. I think that’s very swagger. Right before sed kiss mafuyu sang a song that he wrote at a live performance with da band about his heartbreak with yuki’s death. The person he truly loved. It’s called fuyu no hashi and I recommend you give it a listen it’s really good. Uhm but uhhh he realizes after da kiss that he has a new love ❤️ Ue! Yay canon gay ship time let’s party owah owah

NOW I wanna talk abt the opening and op lyrics. They are SO GOOD. they explain Mafuyu’s situation so we’ll just *mwah*. I think it’s called kizuato. There’s this one part where the singer (which could be interpreted as mafuyu despite it not be8gn his voice) says “Rainy, sunny and cloudy

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. 365 days. You remain in all of them.” When he says the last line “you remain in all of them” we see mafuyu holding his guitar when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind like a hug. He shifts and kind of like compresses himself? Like you know what would happen if you got a hug. These arms are kinda transparent and they disappear before the line and that clip is over. AT FIRST before I knew about yuki and all that I thoguht they were from his late dad but now I believe the arms belong to yuki. Mafuyu’s dad was abusive and hit him when he spoke and I thoguht that would be the part of his trauma the show focused on but it wasn’t, instead they focused on yuki and his death more. Anyways I thoguht that was cool and representative of what happened pretty well.

Part of it also makes me wanna cry tho. It says “Dig them out. Take away these memories. The invisible voices that wouldn't reach. That Make me suffer/ suffocate me. Search deeper and take a look at this pain inside of me.” Specifically the “take away these memories” part just,, damn. And the invisible voices thing is just too fucking relatable. I’m so sorry Mafuyu

Oh god now I’m getting emotional about fictional boys who play guitar in front of my friends. Sorry guys.

Anyways. Main statement of the song time. “Everything you left behind, became my everything.” D a m n. Not only could he be talking about the guitar the he owns that is from Yuki he could also just be talking about the memories. ‘All the memories you left me, became the only thing that brought me comfort’ and that’s just... so sad man. He LOVED this boy. So much :/ It’s equally as sad with the guitar too. Because of how desperately he wanted to learn to play. For yuki’s sake because YUKI loved music. ‘This guitar you (kinda your mom but wtv lol) gave me, became my life” because it DOES become his life. When he finally accepts new love is after singing fuyu no hanashi. He finally lets go of all the pent up grievance and emotions while singing that song.

Now that point flows perfectly into our next one. It’s a possibility This will be the last one so just bear with me, please! So, one of Mafuyu’s main things is that he never knows how to respond or react the “proper” way. First of all!!!! NEURODIVERGENT KING. Second of all!!!! He talks about how he just doesn’t feel emotions as strongly or just the right way as other people. And how he can’t bring himself to cry and can’t cry despite losing his true love. After the kiss, mafuyu cries. A started clapping for him like yay!!! An icon ❤️ not only did he find a new love and move through some trauma but he also experienced a lot of emotions that he struggles to experience! That’s so good for him 💕💕But yeah he’d been talking about in the show how he just couldn’t “cry or laugh as hard as the other people could” which I can understand very well. It can feel dehumanizing at times so I’m really happy for him. One of the main reasons I kin him!

This brings me into a sort of continuation point about how no thought brain empty emotionless kin time. Sorry o just had to write that out Bc my nose started bleeding and I had to go take care of that and also not forget my clause (again). Mafuyu talks to Uenoyama about how everyone thinks that he doesn’t have emotions or doesn’t have thoughts because of how quiet he is and how emotionless he seems. And how he’s come to kind of believe it himself (a sort of ‘am I really thinking ever’ type beat). Ue kinda-over-aggressively is liek “hell no!!!! No way brain not have thought >:(“ like a old you know? And yes KIN TIME. not to make it about me or anything but I’m also constantly told/it’s joked about how I don’t have emotions. I just kinda roll with it tho.

I wanna say one more thing to end off on a note that isn’t about me but I can’t think of one so let me think. So much for that other one being the last shsndujsjjsidj

:OOOOO ok so I’m rewatching given and I just noticed another thing

So in the beginning, the VERY FIRST thing mafuyu talks about is how he keep shaving the same dream over and over again (this is to himself when he’s walking to school). Then, we see a clip of this dream. He is standing in front of someone (but it’s kinda shadowed so I didn’t see the other person the first time) and his eyes go wide and he grips his guitar so hard one of the strings snap.

Not only do I realize that 1) that dream actually happened: hs8 is a scene from when he fo7nd yuki’s body hanging (mafuyu was the one who found him dead). You can tell from the bottles on the ground (yuki got super drunk and then hung himself). this is why mafuyu’s guitar string is broken for Uenoyama to later fix.

I also realize 2) that this dream actually happened. I realized this when watching the show the first time tho lol. Right before the big concert, mafuyu accidentally breaks his guitar string again. And then Ue has to go run to the music store and buy a new one. That’s why there’s a look of desperation on his face when it happens because, Uenoyama brought his hope back by fixing the string the first time but now he messed it up again. Thank the lord for Haruki and reminding them it can be fixed!

Last thing 3) I talked about the hug scene in the last rant right? Well, when mafuyu broke the strings the first time (upon discovering yuki’s body), he mirrored the motions that he made in the hug scene in the opening. I think I described it as him shifting his body and guitar and like compressing himself? Yeah.

I realized one last minuscule thing while writing this but I doubt you care.

[joseffie]

02.28.21 Ghost Diary

So i think my apartment is haunted. The vibes have been off for a little while around here, and my roommate is often gone on weekends bc she spends them with her boyfriend.

Yesterday was esp. weird. I had trouble falling asleep and I've been sleeping badly (weird dreams, waking multiple times in the night, trouble falling asleep) for a hot minute now.

When I work up my bluetooth speaker turned on randomly and said it was connected to my phone. All I had done at the most on my phone was turn off an alarm. It could've been my roommate turning on her computer which we connected to the speaker last weekend to play music, but it didn't say it was connected to that device, only my phone. Anyways I ignored it.

Later that night I had just gotten off of a late shift. We had been talking paranormal/metaphysical stuff and my co-workers are all a lil-superstitious. I came back to my apartment and was just on the phone with my best friend back home when my roommates touch light turned on randomly and suddenly. It's on the opposite side of the room as me and nothing could've touched it to turn it on. I was immediately wigged out.

I rang my bells to clear the energy but I was still intrigued.

I reached out to my apartment group chat to see if anyone else has experienced paranormal stuff if they believe in it (it's a college apartment complex, so much more chill). Mostly no responses until this morning;

here's where other people's stories come in:

- my next-door neighbor said she was experiencing weird vibes and dreams about ghosts. She said that she had thought she maybe felt or saw something but brushed it off

- two floors up from me messaged this morning that one of the girls in the apartment swears they saw a figure in their hall last night

- another girl on the 4th floor says she has always seen/heard ghostly things near the entrance to campus. this is much further away from the apartments but many of us are going to campus daily for work or classes. And it actually just so happens that a donor/founder of the school had his ashes encompassed in a sculpture piece near the entrance to the university

- another girl who lives on the third floor said she and her roomies named their ghost Gary and that ghostly shit happens a lot in their apartment (no specifications)

- another person who moved into the apartment with the girls two floors up from me said that she had a ghost named John in her dorm last semester and that he maybe followed her

So really wacky shit.

I've always been superstitious and believed in the existence of spirits/ghosts/past lives, etc. And last year I had a friend group for a short time that made a ouija board and often used it on campus. It got too freaky eventually and the friend group fell apart, so we stopped. A person I had a falling out with ended up taking the board because they didn't really believe in ghosts and the paranormal.

But I was thinking, what if it's not some group experience, could've brought this spiritual energy to me. An lo and behold I had a long conversation with this person after not talking to them for at least 3 semesters. It's not like we were besties now or anything, but i could've picked up some of their energy in that meeting. I often do pick up and reflect other people's energies.

I asked them after the light incident if they believed they were haunted/had ghosts in their dorm and they told me they weren't sure because they've never been attuned to that sort of thing. They did say that they accumulated another ouija board tho, and that freaks me out.

I take this seriously, obviously. So I wanted to log the experience here.

EDIT: I forgot to add that I also shattered to bottles of coffee yesterday. They were in my bag which i accidentally let it fall to the floor and they broke. It wasn't like they hit the floor too hard either. Two days ago my roomie's bowl cracked mysteriously too (chipped and cracked halfway through). Weird marks on my mirror too that look mysteriously like a capital letter "I"

Reblog/comment if you have any insight or a similar experience

[elftwink]

space/summer camp au and beau/jester/yasha ???

[answers this ask 3 weeks late with starbucks or whatever other meme there is about being late]

iirc this is from that ask meme about how to combine two tropes into one hypothetical fic

i will be honest with you i could not combo these tropes but it’s because i got too invested in them separately so im going to talk about the ideas i had for each of them. my misinterpreted month old ask meme now.

space

listen. im a simple man. i see space and i’m like “star trek”

fjord is the captain and beau is the first mate. it’s both of their first commands and actually a lot of their crew are wildcards or new recruits. fjord got his captaincy from the success of some critical mission and requested beau be his first mate bc she was part of if not most of the reason for that success. they kinda know they’re being set up to fail and if they fuck up too bad they’ll all be reassigned so stakes are high and they have a point to prove

yasha is head of security. she met beau and fjord on a mission from their previous ship. i can’t decide whether or not molly is here or if he died in the backstory bc i generally keep as many ppl alive as possible in aus but i digress

jester is head of medical and also was beau’s old roommate at starfleet academy. for those wondering i debated about her and cad bc they’re both healers but for this fic in particular i would give cad ship counsellor/the troi equivalent i think that’s fine. also i think it’s funny that the bridge crew/senior staff dynamics are then potentially the reverse of tng

(not as relevant but caleb and nott are both engineering— caleb as running the engineering department and nott as second in command/bridge crew for it— & if i were to write a general fic i might give them a more complex backstory and neither of them would be actual starfleet members although caleb would have nearly graduated from starfleet academy)

ANYWAY. first mate/cmo/security is a pretty standard away team so you KNOW it’s an away mission gone poorly type deal.

fjord suggests yasha for the away team after beau volunteers and beau is like ok. i can handle one crush. and then nott pipes up like ‘why doesn’t jester come too’ and beau gives her a look like ‘do not wingman me’ but it’s too late fjord already thinks that’s a good idea. press f for beau who has to contend with 2 crushes for the duration of the away trip and also just being like. normal. and in charge of a very serious starfleet mission

i think to focus on the dynamic it would probably be a situational awry rather than dealing with other people kind of awry (transporter malfunction trapping them on the surface, hostile planet, little to no contact with the ship, etc)

i’ll be honest i didn’t actually think this far about how exactly they would fall in love but never underestimate the power of being trapped alone with people where you’re highly likely to die

i am THINKING...... about either beau or yasha getting very injured and the three of them sitting at a makeshift camp in the middle of an alien planet while jester patches them up and whoever isnt injured keeps trying to contact their ship (realistically starfleet did not name a ship ball eater— or squall eater for that matter— but i cant think of literally anything else) to no avail and the three of them share a moment of growing worry and panic that they really will die down here and then somebody cracks and joke and everyone laughs like really laughs and all 3 of them have a moment where they each on their own are like. i will do everything i can to protect you and selfish as it feels i’m glad it’s you two here with me

summer camp

i am just saying that the m9 as summer camp counsellors is Very Funny just on its own and w/beau/yasha/jester you could turn that into a rom-com so quick

if i were going to make a movie out of it the trailer would set it up as a love triangle probably from jester’s pov which is fair because the main sources of conflict would be 1) they aren’t bad with children per se but none of the m9 are particularly parental. all 3 of these women would probably let a child shoot a bow and arrow unsupervised. this is also because kids do whatever at camp like speaking as a former scout we had training and one guy still brought throwing knives and just let us use them. the leaders didn’t actually know about this tho so i can hardly blame them. moving on. and 2) false love triangle conflict

i do NOT mean jealousy or forcing ppl to pick sides this conflict is internal only and it is resolved through good communication

didn’t think about the actual plot to this one either i really just wanted to put the thought into everyone’s heads. thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[forlorned]

finally i’m getting ‘round to barbie’s bio!! she’s a charming native that loves this town more than she hates it, but only by a small margin. she’s the secretary to the mayor, but her father was a disciple so she’s... neutral on the club. wolves, tho? gross. her mom is also a little infamous around town for partying too much, even into her fifties, sort of like lorelai from gilmore girls if she was chaotic and a former biker groupie. anyways, here’s her details:

content warnings: death, implied bipolar disorder

born october 20th, 1988 in charming, california. her mother, also named barbara goodwin, was new to the town when she met ty. she didn’t plan on staying long, accepting a temporary job to fill in as a substitute teacher that was on maternity leave, but it was love at first sight for the two of them. she didn’t know he was a biker until two weeks into their relationship, a fact that ty kept from her. she was only twenty three when she moved to charming, ty a bit older, but she decided to forgive him for lying. by that time, she was madly in love with him... or at least she thought so. the relationship didn’t last as long as her pregnancy. they were constantly on and off, fighting daily, and when barbie was born, barb decided ty would have nothing to do with his daughter. (that didn’t last very long.)

barbie grew up with her father wandering in and out of her life, sometimes living with her and her mom, sometimes not seeing him for months, depending on what was going on with the club at any particular time. it was mostly just her and her mother, and barb only being in her mid 20s when barbie was born, quickly felt like she was losing her youth. she would party regularly, leaving barbie with the elderly neighbor, usually at the clubhouse when she liked ty and la luna’s when she didn’t. for the most part, it was just barb and little barb (as she was known the devil’s disciples and most locals), and they grew up more like sisters than mother and daughter. her mother was her best friend, except when she wasn’t.

barbie was only thirteen when her father died, though it had been a good year since the last time she saw him, during a time when relations between the devil’s disciples and wicked wolves were especially violent. dying in a violent shootout, the president at the time told her that he died whispering barbie’s name, but she finds that hard to believe. of course she was devastated that her father had died, but it felt more like the death of an uncle or distant cousin than one half of the couple that brought her to life.

things were a little different after her father’s death. her mother was still a part-time party girl, relying on her daughter as her only confidant, but she got a little more paranoid. she wasn’t worried about the club, or the gang, so much, it was just the world in general. one moment, big barb was carefree, the next she was obsessively checking the windows were still locked. barbie never grew up with a very rosy view of the disciple’s, but it was confusing how her mother could go from loving them deeply to hating them even more over the course of a day. it wasn’t an easy time to live in charming, but barbie grew to fear everyone, not just gang violence.

it was only a few short years before she got to high school after her dad died, and barbie mostly kept to herself. she was embarrassed over her mother’s public antics, scared of being hurt, and was one of the few black girls in school; all a recipe for an introverted, shy teenager. though she had loose ties to the disciples through her father, she was a chronic good girl, and that carried throughout her college years. she saw what alcohol did to her mother, knew how her father died, she wanted to stay as far away from the seedy underbelly of charming as she possibly could.

not too far, though. she stayed at home during her college education, commuting to fresno for school. desperately she wanted to leave charming, but she feared what would happen to her mother if no one was around to rein her in. completing a bachelor’s degree in communications at fresno pacific university, a major she chose simply because it could lead to many different careers, she found herself unemployed back in her mother’s house after graduation.

barbie landed in the mayor’s office by accident—not literally, but she was searching job listings in the fresno/charming area and came across one for a file clerk at the charming mayor’s office. hired after one interview, she really only intended to be there until she found something better, but slowly she started getting promoted until she was finally in the actual office. working as the mayor’s secretary for the past five years, barbie is incredibly content with her job. for now, at least, she’s absolutely fine where she is. (secretly, she hopes to be the mayor one day. not now, but maybe one day.)

before she had a vaguely cordial relationship with the disciples, and disapproved of the wolves, but since working in the mayor’s office, she’s grown to heavily dislike both. she wants charming to be a nice place to live, but it wasn’t ever that nice to begin with, was it? as far as either crew or gang knows, she’s neutral.

has a very bubbly personality, but it’s mostly just a front. she feels like she can never be angry because her mother relied on her so much as a child and it’s carried over into adulthood. also has major trust issues because of her relationship with her parents, grew up thinking that anyone that was talking to her just wanted something from her. doesn’t have a lot of friends, or at least she doesn’t have a lot of close friends. mostly hangs out with coworkers or fellow i-don’t-want-to-talk-about-my-trauma-ever-so-let’s-talk-about-real-housewives-of-nyc people.

moved into her own apartment, but frequently goes to her mother’s house to check on her/have dinner. and by frequently i mean like six times a week. doesn’t drink more than a glass of wine if she is going to drink, so most people think she’s really boring (she kinda is lol, but we love her).

you either know her as barbie or little barb, never just barb (please call me barbie, barb is my mom’s name. yes she named me after herself.) or barbara. sometimes will answer to babs.

kiiiiind of judgmental, oops. doesn’t think crew or gang members are inherently bad people but it’s more like ooh no baby what is you doing.jpg sort of thing. distrusting but incredibly lonely, whomp whomp. a big fan of passive aggressive smiles. kinda... fake, but in like an innocent way.

wanted stuffs:

childhood friends: barbie grew up in charming, so if ur muse is a lifelong local, they probably know barbie! she’s very shy but super nice, kinda kept to herself growing up, but very ride-or-die until you do something she thinks is Wrong and Amoral.

a best friend: c’mon. this girl needs a bestie, a least one person for her to feel close to and share her real emotions with. except a lot of stopping by ur place of work to go out to lunch and random gifts because Gifts Are Her Love Language.

exes: though barbie is super like... not forthcoming with her emotions, she’s very bubbly and like come the fuck on, she’s a smoke show. i’m imagining someone that really liked her but found her forced cheery attitude annoying and she refused to meaningfully commit because she was scared of the feelings.

childhood enemy: someone that didn’t like barbie growing up, for any reason (except racism obviously lmao). they could’ve been a fellow club brat or maybe they just thought she was weak bc she was so quiet and shy when they were kids. who knows! i just like antagonistic relationships!

a roommate: she moved out of her mom’s house years ago and has a good government job but she still needs help to pay the rent!! ideally they could be really good friends or maybe they were strangers that have to learn to live together and they’re constantly getting annoyed with each other for like, leaving the bathroom fan on or something. i figure this connection would be with another woman, but it doesn’t have to be!

a surrogate little sister (or bro, or sibling): barbie grew up an only child, but she’s got lots of Big Sister Energy. i’m thinking this will be a connection for someone younger that’s in need of some sisterly guidance, or perhaps a fellow club brat that’s more integrated into the crew/grew up to join and barbie’s like i don’t approve of your choices but i’m here 4 u.

um honestly i could go on forever but i don’t want this to be super long, so message me on here or discord (wanda’s loving boy#1003) if you want to plot!! :)

[ilovedyouinsecret]

Okay I have a long paper that’s like almost two weeks overdue and two other outstanding assignments that I should be doing rather than venting about this especially since I just vented about this to a friend BUT. It is what it is.

So I was going to room with my friend E this year but she ended up taking the fall semester up bc she was trying to work out health things and I missed her (I thought?) and I was lucky bc my roommate I ended up with in the fall transferred out so E was able to be my roommate in the spring. I was to start off by saying I understand the burden of being chronically sick and the depression and what no that comes with it, and I feel for E and I really wish she wasn’t in this situation and that things get better for her. That said, I’m starting to get fed up. Although the semester started off very well, she is now missing classes on the regular, she’s sleeping all day, and she’s self aware enough to realize what’s happening has negative affects but I think not enough to grasp it completely?? Like I said I don’t want her to be in this situation and I wouldn’t mind the complaining and the anxiety ridden monologues that all sound the same except shes not doing anything to help her situation. She’s perfectly capable of finding a therapist to help with the mental side of being chronically sick and she’s aware of ways in which she could change here everyday life/schedule to help her out, but she’s not even trying. I know that there is a learning curve when it comes to this stuff and I know everyone is different, but she will tell me about how she slept through class again and is behind on work and is anxious about everything and says that she should work harder at getting up/getting to class, but nothing has changed and it’s gotten worse. It’s so hard for me to listen and not snap when she talks about this and asks what to do because I’ve told her the same stuff over and over because she’s told me the same thing over and over. I have worked SO hard to get where I am; I have made myself go to class/work when my muscles are so weak I’m worried about tripping with every step, I go to class even after I’ve thrown up because my meds made me nauseous, I go when the air is so cold and so thin that I feel like I could pass out. Now, I realize that I should not push myself so hard and that’s on me, but it gets to me that E is not pushing herself and then complaining about her situation and asking for sympathy and constant support. I know I sound like a total bitch and maybe I am one (although I know I’m not the only person who feels this way about E), but gOd it’s getting to be too much. Last semester she was working a regular job and was doing fine. She could get up on time, go to work, and was doing okay (or at least that’s what she’s told me), but since she’s gotten back she hasn’t been able to keep up the same momentum. She’s considering transferring but every time it gets brought up she changes how certain she is with the idea and I get it, I’ve been in similar situations, but like... she just needs to accept that either she needs to clean up her act now or she’s gonna need to transfer. And like I’m so stressed when I’m around her because I have no idea what to say now when she talks about this stuff and I’m getting more and more annoyed by the situation and I’m already incredibly stressed bc of other things and I’m unable to get work done in my room or relax in my room and my work is really suffering and I have no idea how to talk to her about what’s going on.

Also, I’m behind on my work in a class (that she’s taken idk if that’s relevant tho) and I have one paper that’s almost two weeks late and one that was due today and she’s been checking in about the paper and at first it was nice but like when I tell her “no i haven’t turned it in” or say where I am in the process, she, like, joking says “Emma!” in an exasperated tone and at this point I hate it. Like it’s not funny. I’m struggling, I’m stressed out already, I hate myself enough already, and she’s five weeks behind in an other class (that i’ve taken) and hasn’t gone to the actual class in a week. She should NOT be talking to me like that even as a joke.

[granpafrisbee]

Truth or Dare Part 1

Warnings: Cussing                    

Word Count: 3,752 (it’s gonna get longer tho)

Pairing: Bucky x OFC           

Masterlist

Summary: After going to Italy and avoiding any romantic relationships for pretty much all her life Joey comes back to the U.S. to move in with her life-long best friend, Sam Wilson, and his two closest friends from college. Joey’s met Steve but is apprehensive to meet the elusive Bucky, whom she’s always missed despite having visited Sam consistently throughout college. Once she meets him, however, she wonders how she’ll be able to run from love when they share a bathroom.

A/N: Hey, so I'll be updating this most Wednesdays. I'll try my hardest to stay regular. 

I wrote this using an OFC bc I cannot work my brain to replace my name with fucking Y/N and I know I'm not the only one. (I always end up reading it as fucking "yuuhnnumm"). I am fully in love with Zazie Beetz so our OFC is completely based on her except maybe a lil chubbier because why not. Really for the apartment just picture the layout of the New Girl loft.

I always have a confusing time picturing characters in fics so I'm gonna lay it out for y'all. Steve is full nomad, them honey brown locks and the full beard. Joey's hair is natural like Zazie so often wears it. Bucky is just Seb in fall/winter 2017 because I am weak for the I, Tonya press tour look. Sam is Mackie's classic look. The rest of the characters can be left to the imagination.

Also  I mention good music so listen to that if you want. Please let me know if you like this and follow my hot garbage tumblr.

Special thanks to @buckybarnesxoxo for asking to be tagged!

the AO3

Stay Sexy

It’s the bathroom that really impresses Joey. She believed Sam when he said the apartment was nice. On seeing it for the first time when moving in, she discovers that her best friend is distinctly incorrect. A working sink is nice. A proper heater is nice. A nearby laundromat is nice. This loft, this four-bedroomed palace, is exquisite in comparison to her previous abodes. The kitchen has all its necessary appliances. There are a washer and dryer in unit. The walls are thick enough that if Sam was stabbed in his neighboring room, she would maybe hear it. Four bedrooms with their very own closets. All of these have her speechless as she tours around. However, as stated above, it’s the bathroom that is killer. The idea of sharing said room with three men is maybe one of the more foreboding aspects of her new sweet digs, but once she sees the giant clawfoot shower and tub, she is sure the positives will heavily outweigh the negatives.

She immediately slides down into her new porcelain palace. She’s a medium height at 5’6”, and even she has to point her toes to touch the far end of the tub. She sighs comfortably and is already planning an essential oils combination for her first real bath when the door swings open and her fantasy is interrupted by one her new roommates. He’s the one she hasn’t met yet but Sam and Steve have shown her plenty of pictures. His hair looks soft and well-coiffed and he wears a tank top under an unbuttoned striped short sleeve button down. Rather than judgment appearing across his abnormally handsome face, he smiles like there was nothing else he could have expected when entering the bathroom.

“You see I specifically told Steve to get a bathtub that doesn’t come with a human.”

“Oh no, you got it all wrong. I’m actually a ghost here to haunt you but hygienically. Instead of boo, I say floss.” She says without a beat and he nods, very seriously, in response to this.

“You know I’m pretty sure I just carried in a bed to our fourth room that might be more comfortable than the tub, but who am I to judge one’s preferred sleeping arrangements.” His quip is followed by another fantastic smile, and based on the past ten seconds of her life Joey is absolutely sure that this is her kind of human.

She smiles back and extends her hand from the tub. “Joey.”

“Bucky,” He shakes her hand and nods again.

“You guys brought up my bed? I told Samuel to let me handle that shit.”

He laughs and scratches his beard, “Ah just gave me another opportunity to show Sam how much stronger I am than him. And Steve the chance to show up both of us.”

Joey chuckles and silently appreciates how Bucky balanced his dig on Sam with some light self-depreciation of himself. Although it would be unrealistic to pretend that anyone was stronger than Steve. The man is built. “Seriously though, I’ll come help y’all out. I’m not gonna be the useless roommate.” She gets out of the tub and starts out the door.

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about that, I think Sammy’s got that title covered, Darlin’.” He follows her out and therefore doesn’t see her face cringe at the pet name.

She considers calling him on it when Sam yells from the front door, “I know you’re not in there besmirching me to my very own best friend Barnes,” He enters view sweaty and smiling, “And I especially know she wasn’t participating, because she is my best friend and therefore automatically on my side.” He wraps his arm protectively around her shoulders causing her to shrug away from him with her nose scrunched.

“Consider our friendship on sabbatical until you take a shower, Wilson.” Joey continues backing away.

“Jesus I always knew your personality stank but I guess the inside always comes out huh.” Bucky mirrors Joey’s disgusted face as he walks towards the door.

Sam rolls his eyes, “Not funny.” Although the involuntary “Hah!” Joey lets out at Bucky’s comment seems to contradict his statement. Sam just flips her off.

“Thank you, Doll. You see Sammy, even your best friend thinks I’m right.” Bucky mocks as he heads back outside.

This time Sam sees her face twist in reaction to the nickname. Misinterpreting it he grumbles, “Oh come on there’s no way you can smell me from over there.” He starts to head to his room, presumably for deodorant.

Joey follows Bucky downstairs to help with some more furniture moving. Steve is outside their building, ass in the air, bent over picking something up. “Damn Rogers,” Joey calls out appreciatively, “If I knew I’d be getting a view like that I would have shacked up with you years ago.”

He stands up, holding up an entire bookshelf on his own, further challenging the poor under armor shirt that is being stretched to hell on his giant frame. “Hey killer, thanks for joining us.”

She picks up a lamp and smiles at him, “Well I figured you guys needed the extra muscle.”

His smile is bright against his beard as he walks into the house with the ease of a man who isn't carrying a bookshelf.

The four of them finish loading their sporadic furniture into the loft and the afternoon fades to early evening. An old but amazing and huge high-quality leather sectional provided by Steve’s mom. Sam’s flat screen, whom he’s named Esmeralda, and may or may not have a near sexual attraction to. Bucky’s records and a player that’s older than any of them, plus a big wooden dinner table his Dad handmade. Steve’s varied level of completed canvases and paint stuff. Joey’s shelves and chairs she found on the side of the road her senior year in college. A mix of plates, bowls, and utensils have been loaded into varying drawers and cabinets. As well as cooking instruments, although, beyond Joey’s waffle iron and an old cast iron from Steve, it’s all Sam’s. Everyone’s personal boxes and furniture is piled in their own rooms.

Joey sits on the kitchen island as the boys lean against it, all sipping the cheap beer Joey bought as penance for them carrying her bed in. She takes that moment to appreciate the weird chain of events that got her where she is now. She and Sam have been friends since grade school. They went to different colleges but remained good ol’ buddies throughout. When they graduated Joey traveled around and did an apprenticeship with an Italian glassblower. Sam went to Culinary school, and when he graduated the second time around Joey was offered a job with a world-renowned blower (god she will never get tired of calling her profession that) stateside. After little luck finding a two bedroom inexpensive enough for the two of them, Steve, one of Sam’s old college buddies Joey had met many a time during visits, mentioned his friend's dad owned a couple lofts in the neighborhood they were looking in. Sam toured with Steve and Bucky and the three of them signed the lease that day. Sam called Joey that night and announced he was so confident that he forged her signature. He was insistent that it was the best option they’d find, all Steve is a good guy and fellow artist, and even Bucky is sometimes bearable but don’t tell him that. Steve paints and sketches in his free time and works as a personal trainer to pay the bills. Joey knows he isn’t passionate about it, but with his perfect body and matching attitude, she is sure he is fantastic at his job. Sam is starting at a new restaurant with a name Joey can only pronounce thanks to high school French. A plus for living with Sam is that he brings work home with him. Although Joey had visited Sam plenty over the years and even struck up a solid friendship with Steve, she always seems to have missed Bucky. They had never met but she knew he was a language major with a focus in Eastern Europe and Russia. Sam had told her Bucky translated English books into Russian and vice versa and made more money than he should. Earlier Joey had heard him curse in some sort of Slavic tongue when Sam “accidentally” dropped his end of a coffee table on Bucky’s foot. She also had heard a few stories about Steve and Bucky’s childhood, the rambunctious troublemakers lived up to every tall tale. As the four nursed their beers she felt confident that this was going to be a very important group of people in her life.

“Joey?” Sam snapped her out of her thoughts.

“What?”

“Barnes suggested we get more beer and pizza and invite some friends over. Are you down?” The three men looked at her expectantly.

“I say hell yeah. Who are we calling?” She looked down at her watch and was surprised to see it was only 6:30.

“Well there are the couples, Nat and Wanda and Thor and Bruce,” Steve suggested.

“I told Shuri I’d pay her in alcohol if she set up all the tech shit,” Bucky adds.

Steve nods, “Now that you mention it, we should probably invite Tony, he’s the reason we got this place.”

“Tony means at least Rhodey and probably Pep, Clint is a must, and if we invite Wanda we should call Pietro too.” Sam finishes his beer and scrolls through his messages.

“Brunnhilde and Okoye are in town too.” Joey hops off the counter and recycles the empty bottles collecting on the island.

“Alright you guys decide who to invite, and I’ll go get libations and sustenance,” Bucky grabs his keys.

“With the list we’ve got you’ll need some help, I’ll come with,” Joey volunteers.

Bucky smiles vibrantly and nods towards to Steve, “You okay babysitting Rogers?”

“As long as Killer doesn’t mind your unreasonably picky ass,” Steve’s retort is so quick that Bucky and Sam raise their middle fingers simultaneously at their aggravator.

Joey and Bucky decide to start off to the pizzeria three blocks away and pick up the beer on the walk back. The walk begins in mildly uncomfortable silence.

“So… you’re picky?” Joey asks to spark some sort of conversation.

“Nooo..” Bucky’s defensiveness creates an endearing drawl, “Those two pompous asses just don’t understand that I like my pizza simple. Margherita pizza is a fucking gift. Who am I to screw it up with a bunch of American bullshit?” He gestures widely as he speaks.

“You’re kidding right?”

Bucky’s must have misinterpreted her smile as he quickly responds, “Alright I’ve been judged enough in my life, I know you lived in Italy and-”

“No, no, Bucky!” She grabs his forearm, “Margherita is my favorite! I ate it all the time in Italy, judgment-free.”

“Jesus Christ Doll, where have you been all my life?”

She smiles and they continue a brisk pace to the pizza place. “How did you know I lived in Italy?”

“Ah, I know plenty about you. Sammy talks about you non-stop, has since I met him. Steve even thought he was secretly in love with you until he hung out with you in person.”

This makes Joey raise her brows, “Really? Wow. What, if I may ask, ultimately caused him to accept our relationship as extraordinarily platonic? Was it the sibling-like side hugs? The lack of sexual tension in our banter? The fact that I knew him during his first mustache phase?”

“Are you telling me there was a skinnier mustache than the one we know and mildly tolerate?”

“I’m talking Prince but pubescent. It was so thin models asked his mustache for dieting tips. It was so thin his first girlfriend thought he had an eyelash over his top lip. I mean you would’ve thought he drew it on with a ballpoint pen. In fact, it’s very possible it was. Just because I never saw doesn’t mean he never-”

Bucky is laughing uproariously, “Please, please, you’re killing me. I’m gonna need pictures as soon as possible.”

“No can do. I will recite the epic of the mustache homer-style until the day I die, but any physical evidence shared will prompt an all-out war between Samuel and me. That is just something I can’t afford.”

“Oh now I have to see them. What’s your secret shame, sweetheart? Bangs? Braces? Please tell me it was an emo phase,” As he lists off he starts walking backward, the goofy smile didn't dim once.

“I’ll never share, but trust me when I say if you find something behind my back, I’m sure Steve will be more than willing to share some pictures of your past. Emo phase is a good guess, but if I didn’t know any better I’d say that was a projection, hmm?”

That does a good job of replacing his smile with pursed lips and a quirked eyebrow, contemplating his next move in this battle of embarrassing adolescence. “Steve would never betray me.”

“Don’t be so sure, all men have their weaknesses,” She smiles deviously.

“Oh yeah, you gonna seduce him for a picture of me in eyeliner?”

“First of all, I would seduce Steve for much less so thanks for confirming my emo theories. Secondly, I may not know Steve like you do, but I know him well enough to see that seduction would hardly prove fruitful.” She holds the door open for him and they both bask in the practically orgasmic scent of the pizzeria, “Steve is so suspicious of anyone who wants to sleep with him that he’d see through me. My method would be to trick him to do some sort of high school ‘Where are they now?’ portrait. He’d be so inspired he’d paint your lined eyes and black, I’m guessing, over parted hair in a second.” The line is moving slowly and he admires how she never lowers her volume or hides from strangers eyes.

“Damn, Doll, you’re good.”

“I minored in manipulation.” The store isn’t too packed for Saturday night and Sam Cooke is playing lightly in the background. She’s nodding her head and he’s mouthing along to words and when they both realize this they share a smile at the music.

“So Steve is a suspicious mind in your book?” She chuckles at his reference.

“I’m not the biggest drinker and neither is Steve, so when Sammy went hard when I visited, Steve was always good for a tipsy talk. The poor guy has the same self-esteem he must have had in high school. Unlike us three cool cats Steve will show me pictures of his past self. I know you were there through it all, but just because the outside changes doesn’t mean the inside follows suit. I have seen the most dedicated and gorgeous women throw themselves at him and yet he remains sure that she was ‘just being friendly’. It’s actually impressive.”

“I know what you mean. To be fair though a lot of that is just his college girlfriend. She really did a number on him.” He runs a hand through his hair but doesn’t hide his contempt for whoever she is.

Solemn surprise covers Joey’s features, “I never knew. Never met her on any visits.”

“She wasn’t big on him talking to other girls, probably hid him anytime you came around. Although that isn’t my story to tell, I’m sure the punk will tell you about it sometime.” She follows his eye line down to his shoes. He’s drawing stars with the tip of his shoe, a tic she’s just noticing.

“What about you? You have a girl hiding you away, distracting you during your collegiate years? She the reason our meeting was so unluckily delayed until today?”

He thinks about the answer for a second or two. “Nah, no anchor to this ship. At this point, I’m just convinced Wilson just didn’t tell me you were around because he knew you would like me more than him.”

“Well turns out I like Steve better than both of you.”

He puts his hands up and reassures her, “I don’t need to be first, Sweetheart, just as long as I’m on your radar.” As he lowers his hands the song changes and they simultaneously recognize the song, both begin humming the initial notes. “Penny & The Quarters fan huh?” He asks.

“Nobody, baby, but-” she sings before quickly turning her attention to the cashier, “We’ll have two large Everything Pizzas and one large Margherita.” Facing Bucky again she smiles and drops another line that makes his heart race, “Just for you and me, huh?”

The pizza is out quick, and a trip to the local gas station provides them with more than enough beer. They continue discussing music, Joey is surprised at their similarly irregular taste. He describes his favorite Etta James songs, but can’t forget the Simon and Garfunkel song that he thinks is his first love encapsulated. He lists his top three favorite rappers after ranking contemporary folk bands. She adds in her opinions sporadically, and he apologizes twice for dominating the conversation when they get in the elevator.

She is being honest when she says, “There’s nothing I want to hear more than whatever you’re going to say right this moment.” He thinks that every lyric in every song he’s just listed doesn’t have shit on that sentence.

He’s about to tell her so when an alarming large hand last minute catches the elevator as it closes. The doors open to the Thor and Bruce. The couple is the lynchpin of every good party, from rager to kickback. Thor is the greatest hype man in history but is never hammered, probably because it would take two handles of tequila to get him there. Bruce is much more chill but a secret god at beer pong, not to mention he always has weed. Bucky’s favorite part of their presence always happens when Bruce is particularly high and begins a lecture on some sort of subject no one else understands. He isn’t exactly captivating, especially not to anyone far from sober although his passion is palpable, but Thor will plop down on the couch next to him and watch him like he’s the only thing in the universe (while rubbing Bruce’s neck to keep him from getting too wound up). Bucky loves those guys.

“Looks like we arrived just in time, wouldn’t you say Thor?” Bruce shakes Bucky’s hand and smiles at Joey.

“Of course! I was worried we got too much pizza, but now that you’re here Thor I’m sure you’ll help us with any surplus.” Joey sets the pizzas down before Thor pulls her into a bear hug.

“Joey, you know I never leave a damsel in distress,” Thor agrees as he sets her back on her feet.

Joey’s eyebrow playfully shoots up, “Who are you calling damsel, Odinson?”

“In this case, definitely Sam. I’m surprised he even let you order out.” Bruce answers for his boyfriend.

“My love is right in my insinuation. Never ever have I seen you anywhere near damsel status Joe.” Bucky watches their interaction with curiosity.

The elevator dings and Bucky asks, “This may seem like a dumb question but how do you guys know each other? Just through Sam?”

Joey picks up the pizzas as Thor holds the door open, ”Thor’s siblings and I were all in a group home together as teens. I’ve known this big lug long before he was the Nordic party god we see before us.” Thor laughs and he and Bruce go to greet everyone inside.

“Are you telling me Thor hasn’t always been a blonde beefcake?” Bucky whispers in Joey’s ear as they set the pizza and beer on the counter.

“Sadly no, he’s looked like that since I met him. I just like making that joke because he’s too humble to care.” She makes note that he doesn’t question the foster home part of her story. She wonders just what Sam has told him about her past.

People start to crowd the food and drinks, so Joey and Bucky greet everyone who has arrived. Nat is there sans Wanda, who is at home sick. Bucky knows this means Nat will be leaving early. Pietro made it despite his ill sibling, but he still looks pretty sick of the conversation in front of him. Shuri and Clint are mid-argument about the chicken and the egg when Bucky thanks them for coming. Clint gives him a smile and points to a fake succulent on the table and mumbles, “Got you guys a housewarming present,” before returning his attention to telling Shuri that the Chicken is the obvious choice. Shuri tells Bucky she set up the wifi and the apple tv and Clint doesn’t even register that she’s talking over him. Bucky kisses her cheek and hands her a beer.

Steve is sitting with Bruce and Thor on the couch, all of them engrossed in conversation and pizza. Sam is chopping fresh onion for his pizza when Bucky asks, “These are the few you could bribe to get here?”

“These losers are the only ones without any plans on a Saturday night,” Sam says without looking up.

Clint and Pietro both look up and say a simultaneous, “Hey!” Before turning their attention back to their conversation.

“T’Challa and Nakia are in Paris. Brunnhilde has a gig tonight. Okoye hung up on me when I said pizza and beer. Parker has an exam. Tony named six events he was invited to tonight and would’ve kept going if Steve hadn’t hung up. Pepper and Rhodey are probably plus thing one and two wherever Tony ended up at. Thus, this motley crew is all we got.” Sam sprinkles his diced onion on top of his already spilling slice and when he bites into it his groan stops the conversations surrounding the apartment.

“Lame. Your intestines are not going to be thanking you for that monster you are devouring under the alias of pizza.” Joey makes a face as he continues to stuff his face.

“Like eating just mozzarella and basil is enjoyable at all,” Sam dismisses her and joins the rest of their crew.

“Heathens,” Bucky dramatically admonishes their friends, “You ready Doll?”

This time he catches the tightening of her expression at his comment, ”Born ready.” They both grab a piece of their untouched pizza and taps crusts in cheers.

Part 2

Part 3

Thanks for reading!

[sincewereahoe]

Oh my god. My roommate has been talking to a bumble guy for a couple weeks and they never seemed to be available at the same time for a first date. They’ve been talking on the phone tho. They planned to meet this weekend but now she’s quarantined. And to make up for it and bc they really wanted to see each other, he’s standing outside our house rn and they’re talking through the window 😭😭 he even brought her coffee. Wtf. This is calling me single in like ten million different ways. But also my room and hers both face the street so I’m kinda listening and it’s so sweet! They’re basically shouting cause we’re on the third floor lmao. I think he only planned to say a quick hello, put the coffee in front of our door for her to get and then leave, but they’ve been shouting and each other and giggling for like ten minutes now

WHY CANT WE ALL HAVE THIS WTF

A guy in my area could NEVER. They wouldn’t show up ever