#but now i have one more reason to keep them ehehehehe

[3rrorsnas]

i can't believe I'm actually starting to wear my glasses more because of inky sjsksjsj/very pos

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

lowkey would luv to hear ur "thoughts" on mike 🤭.

Eheheheh, hello, Artie 🖤🌸

Sooo.... since it's NSFW content right away, it's under the cut 😌

Mike x gn!Reader 18+

💀 Sorry not sorry, but I just know that Mike is that kinda guy who'd use his gun "inappropriately". You have multiple orifices for a reason and he'd use them to stretch you out, to use you, to make you clench around the cold barrel. I've been having a plot bunny for exactly that for a while now and I desperately need the movie to drop.

💀 Mike would tie you up, your hands firmly bound to the headboard of his bedframe, whilst he's toweing over you, teasing you by some mockery and degradation, calling you names that would make you blush and squirm with guilty arousal at the same time.

💀Can we please take a moment to talk about how he'd rail you into the mattress whilst you wear his Wacken shirt? That shirt, which led you to talk to him in the first place because you kept wondering why this dude went all the way to Germany for a metal festival? He'd tease you how this very shirt got him into your pants and how good you'd look in it as he pounds you, Megadeath blaring from the speakers.

💀I generally think that Mike would be into a wide variety of kinky stuff that goes both ways. On some day's, he'd be the one slapping you in the face and spitting into your mouth when on other's, he'd spent at least half the night on kis knees, pleasuring you until your legs give out.

💀 ❗️❗️❗️ INTOXICATION KINK ❗️❗️❗️ Okay, hear me out... I feel like Mike would be having the time of his life with encouraging you to take hit after hit from the joint. He'd pass it right back to you after taking just the tiniest drag himself, it serving a sweet buzz but keeping him clear enough to watch out for you while he fucks your brains out after you become all giggly and touchy from all the weed.

💀Needless to say that I think he's into drugs. Not uppers, though, more like some calming weed, a little helping of codeine here and there because he likes that warm mellow feeling in his stomach. (C'mon... he's basically Kappa's and Clay's love child 🥴)

💀 But no matter how wasted and fucked out the two of you would get, he'd always make sure to watch out for you, to massage your bruised ass after a hefty spanking session and tuck you in with his arm wrapped around your shoulders whilst you doze off.

💀For some reason, I cradle the idea that he'd be a banger cook but with the most random irgedients because he'd spent a lot of time being not so well off. During those years, he taught himself the craft of making a five-star Michelin out of a pack of instant ramen.

💀 Mike gives me these Everywhere-And-Nowhere-Dude vibes. Like, you for sure have seen him around somewhere, maybe at the corner shop or the gas station a while ago, thought he looked kinda cool but also a bit douchy so you decided to not chat him up at the counter. Then, a few weeks later at a friend's house party, you bump into him again and after a few drinks, decide to actually talk to him if he bought that shirt himself or if he's just another poser who likes the design.

[varteeny1234]

I do everything for a reason... limbo is weird, and very un-canon in some ways... I wonder why :3

Summary:

Limbo still proves to be a mystery… nothing here makes sense.

Words: 944

Chapter: 3/?

Chapter Warnings: Slightly more than canon-typical existentialism and desperation

ehehehehe

Whoever was hiding this door from her was doing an excellent job of it. Tea had found the wall, made of solid black void, and had followed it to where she knew she'd been before. But still, the white door was nowhere to be found, and thus, Tea was still trapped here. 

It was honestly a miracle that her fingers and toes hadn't frozen off in the cold liquid that made up the ground. Limbo wasn't a good place to be. 

They did seem to be turning slightly greyer... but that could just be the constant contact with the ashes. 

Please, please let it be the ashes...

The shadow person was still around, and Tea hadn't yet attempted conversation with them. She was still afraid that the sound would draw the attention of the cloaked being from before, and that wouldn't end well for either of them. She had been following them for a while. Whenever she came across them, she made sure to keep out of their sight, but she'd carefully trail them and try to figure out what they did while they were here... but all they seemed to do was cry. 

Cry about what, specifically, other than being trapped, she didn't know. But everywhere they went, when she followed them, they sobbed, their white tears dissolving into the ground. She wanted to help them, but she still had no idea what she could do. She'd been relying on being able to find the door again!

Why did she ever think that going through it had been a good idea?

Tea had carved out the inside of a tree. It hadn't been difficult, the charred bark scraped away very easily, and the inside was shelter from... well, it was more like a hiding place than anything else. She put some branches and puffy plants down to be her bed- bed being generous in its description, of course- and a few failed attempts at a makeshift brewing stand lay strewn about in the corner. Grey, fragile vines covered the hole that was her door.

It wasn't much. It wasn't much at all, but until she could find her way out, this was home. 

Limbo shouldn't be anyone's home.

Standing in the middle of her shelter, she wondered how the others had reacted to her disappearance. It had definitely been more than a few days, so surely at least someone would have noticed she'd gone missing. 

How did Trog get out of the void, again? Had they been outside in Limbo, or inside the world the door protected? Tea wished she remembered more than just the fact that they'd been stuck for a week. 

Frustrated, she decided to think about it further at a different time. It wouldn't do her much good to sulk, especially now, while she was awake- there wasn't really day or night here, seeing as there wasn't a sun, but she still got tired semi-regularly. 

Walks were always good to pass the time. Tea hadn't run into the cloaked, one-eyed being again. The proud part of her wanted to believe it was because they were scared of her, since she threw a rock at them with more power than anyone had probably ever thrown a rock, but the more logical part of her knew that they probably just didn't care enough to try and come back for her. 

This worked out in a way that what Tea truly believed was a combination of both. 

At least the shadow person didn't seem to be being hunted.

Speaking of the shadow person, the sound of their quiet sniffling and the rustling of the dead plants they touched indicated they were nearby. Tea poked her head out the door hole, and was unsurprised to see them walking past her tree. They didn't see her. 

They were walking off in the direction of where Tea had guessed the door was hidden. Maybe, maybe, it would be a good idea to follow them, just in case their presence would make it reveal itself. 

As time passed it was much more familiar to be creeping along in between the trees and among the oddly-shaped rocks. The shadow person was kept in sight, not too close for her to be detected, not too far to be lost. Their crying seemed to grow louder the closer they got to the wall.

Before long, they were at the wall, and the shadow was leaning against a section of it that sent a familiar shiver down Tea's spine. If the door still existed, it would be right here.

This was exactly where Tea had first walked in.

But the shadow seemed to be seeing something that Tea couldn't, or maybe they'd just memorized the location of the door. Either way, Tea couldn't see or hear anything other than the shadow's sobbing. After what she guessed to be about a minute, the shadow said the first word she'd ever heard them say. 

"HELP!" 

They sounded desperate. Tea couldn't blame them. They sank to the ground again, curling up and continuing to cry. Maybe they'd seen something through the other side of the invisible door. 

Maybe someone else had come to find them but hadn't succeeded...

She started to walk back to her tree. She had a little bit of thinking to do. She kicked the ground, watching as the light grey liquid splashed around, still cold, staining her skin and clothes.

A horrifying thought struck her mind.

There was ground underneath this. 

Tea ducked down, feeling the solid ground hidden by the grey. 

Could it be... 

This must have been a thousand years' worth of the tears of the forever-crying shadow.

[mannatea]

part 19 is here now!

Is that what we're calling it?

You know, the truly wild thing about this playthrough is that I'm having a TON of fun, and I think in part posting these little things gives me a reason to marinate on stuff. Also, FE7 is very unforgiving of a game, and being able to rewind on the switch while still playing with a controller in hand on my TV is like, basically the perfect difficulty level for me.

Why yes, I do cheat. (Why yes, Florina got a perfect level up and then instantly died in this chapter so I had to rewind, thus losing the perfect level up. So is it really cheating to that degree?)

In the old days when I played FE7, it was primarily actually on the Gamecube after I got the uhhh thing that let you play GBA games via the little port. Anyway, don't get me wrong, I'm all for difficulty existing in video games; I'm just old now and I don't have the mental capacity or strength to restart the game 400 times.

It's weird, too, because I like the realism of permanent deaths in Fire Emblem, and I obviously always write an angle where the threat of losing life and limb keeps things tense...but man, FE7 is a lot more fun to play when I can just rewind a bit when I make a mistake, rather than having to start the chapter all over.

Anyway, all of that to say: I'm still having a blast playing this, and the chapter style of FE games has always been really great for me personally, anyway; it's nice to have that built in "stopping place," you know?

Ha ha ha... nobody tell him :(

Lynnnnnnn!!! I love that everyone does it anyway, though. Like hmm what an excellent idea. Let's sneak onto the castle grounds. Surely there will be zero consequences. (Narrator voice: there were zero consequences, somehow.)

CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP.

King Desmond is the kind of man you read about on r/relationships I s2g. Last week I read a comment by some lady talking about how her husband would fly into jealous rages over the cats getting attention from her instead of him. That's Desmond basically. Horrid man.

Silence Miss Morphology!!! WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF FEELINGS!

Be nice to Murdock or so help me goddDDD. I do like that Desmond doesn't want him to die, though, because he is an asset to his country's military. Desmond's a terrible person but at least he still knows what he's doing.

If you were in the FE7 fandom and you didn't write about the fox incident, or at least read one (1) fic about it, I don't even know who you are.

Imagine being so fucking bitterly jealous that your son treats your illegitimate daughter with kindness that you kill the thing he gave her that made her happy? Fucked up. Evil. He's also the r/relationships man who hates the pet and throws it outside/"loses it"/dumps it at a shelter when the gf/wife is out of town. (Those stories always send me into a fiery rage. If someone did that to me they'd be lucky if I didn't try to fucking kill them for it.

Don't worry, Hector, you'll learn this again soon.

The audacity of Nils to say this when surviving the 11 turns puts Ninian and Eliwood at an A Support. </3

Will you let him call you mommy, though? (LMFAO) More seriously, VAIDA'S HERE! Don't worry ma'am you'll be joining my motley crew of worm-bait teapots soon. (blows her a kiss)

Yeah, pretty sure I wrote a whole story about that. <3 Ilu Louise.

Eheheheh... GET TAKEN CARE OF, SAIN.

I meant to get Florina/FioraB instead of a Lyn/FlorinaC but that's okay!!! Take care out there, Florina. Your older sister has long surpassed you already... (Teehee, that's because I spoiled Fiora with Afa's Drops.)

Me?

I flung Kent down to the south/SW by himself because nothing can ever kill him and also it's fun to separate him from Lyn now that they've gotten that A Support. Tee-hee.

Also, Ursula calling Vaida a hag. MA'AM....... YOU'RE BOTH SUCH BAD BITCHES. NOW KISS AND MAKE UP!!!

This conversation is funny literally every single time. I think a long time ago I was convinced that Serra was manipulating the shit out of him to get him to say nice things to her (lol), but rereading it now, it doesn't really seem to be the case. Oswin was a bit harsh with her, but for understandable reasons (and he's one of the only people she'll actually listen to, so the responsibility kind of falls on him), and it makes sense that she would get upset about it.

Their relationship intrigues me.

THERE WE GO!! A SUPPORT! YIPPEE. I love Ninian. She's so good... And I like that this is a support that expresses love so clearly. Most of the other supports are quieter with how they end. <3

Lyn, showcasing her skills <3 <3 <3 I love her.

(Rath and Guy, forgotten on the bench: 😔 we's sacaen toos guys)

[yellowhollyhock]

1,2,3 for 87 Raph. 7 and 8 for any 03 turtle :)

ehehehehe

ehehehehehehehehehehe

okay here's 87 Raphael

1 Why do you like/dislike this character

Okay so when I first watched 1987 it was in the context of having seen 03 and rise and knowing a little about mirage because of this turtle documentary I had watched. So as soon as Raph came on screen and started snarking I was just.. it was just such an interesting take on one of my favorite turtles while also being a quintessential example of a character archetype that I enjoy for completely separate reasons. Raphael would be worth 10 seasons by himself if the rest of the show weren't great (which it is)

One of the first things that stuck in my head forever was when they had Baxter Stockman tied up asking him who he works for and Raph pulls out his sai and threatens to "get sarcastic," cue the light hitting the sharp point. Stockman immediately tells all and Raphael says with this charming grin directly to the fourth wall, "Nothing beats cutting wit"

and I was like ALSKDJRIWOWIB they they because Mirage Raph is the 'crazy one' who goes off by himself on wild adventures and always wants to help everyone 03 Raph is the 'angry one' who pushes back against Leo's decisions to keep them balanced rise Raph combined those by being the stressed older brother-- I would never have anticipated Witty Raph Sarcastic Raph Fourth Wall Breaker Raph but it makes so much sense this is the perfect missing link

And it was very fun to watch him develop more and more into his own Funny Man personality. I love how when he doesn't have a quip he's usually just watching. Probably because it's hard to write clever quips all the time akdjdhsj but being a quiet watcher until he isn't is such a Raph thing and yet in the way it's done in 87 it's so uniquely Raphael.

Also I think he's a great brother. He's so supportive of Leonardo. He goofs around with Michelangelo. He and Donatello are constantly ripping each other apart verbally and also would die for each other in a heartbeat and also would kill each other for the last slice of pizza. I like how it's really impossible to get an age order with them, and Raphael especially I feel milks being the youngest when he can and lets the other guys do the responsible things but also will Older Brother them if the opportunity presents itself

Like he will be goofing off during training all the time, and one day Splinter splits them up Leonardo and Donatello (taking it seriously) vs Michelangelo and Raphael (not taking it seriously) and I love him in this episode so much. It's the fact that he's always doing this but when pressed he has this angsty teenager answer like "it's not like this training is intense enough to prepare us for Shredder anyway." But split into teams, now he's invested, and that's very unfortunate for him because Michelangelo isn't alsjdhajs. So Raphael is trying to hold his own against Leo and Don while also trying to convince Michelangelo to put the hammock away and help him. It's a very good episode for an example of Raphael being Baby when he can but also not when he doesn't feel like it.

Plus there's something down-to-earth about Raphael compared to his bros. Maybe it's the dry humor. Maybe it's the way he actually wants to run away from danger instead of towards. But he just strikes me as so... idk how to describe it, but out of all the turtles in the multiverse 87 Raphael is Just Some Guy. I mean in the zaniest way possible but idk how else to describe it. I think he's neat

also also he threw a couch at Donatello, what's not to like?

2 Favorite canon thing about this character

He loves disguises! It's a hobby he got into because he felt like he needed a special thing to contribute to the team 😭 He's so silly I love him so much

3 Least favorite canon thing about this character

umm.. huh. uhhhhh

The fact that raphibians (raph x mona x genghis) isn't canon

(or is it 👀)

(just kidding it is not)

Aaand I'm answering for 03 Donny because he's my favorite

7 something fandom does that I like

I like how the fandom gives him lasting consequences from all the craziness he went through. Headaches and emotional trauma from the mind probe, blaming himself for Honeycutt's temporary death, Kirby's disappearance, his second mutation... and especially SAINW. I love when he is dismissive of his own pain only for it to bite back hard down the road.

8 something fandom does that I don't like

I'm pretty chill generally, and I haven't come across characterizations that I find horrible, certainly not consistently. I also feel like he's a very, i guess balanced? character and thus hard to mess up. Like if you make him a soft little guy who just wants everyone to get along, you are right he is like that. If you make him a crazy scientist who just wants to see how far he can go without much thought to the consequences, you are also right he is like that too. If you make him totally logical and out of touch with his feelings I am kissing your forehead I love you so much, if you make him deeply emotional and very aware of it and coaching others through their feelings I am also kissing you you are so right I love you.

Okay I thought of something, I don't like when he's shipped with April. It's generally pretty easy to avoid but I do come across it once in a while.

[arigatonamuse]

another week, another A3! re-read notes post

this time it's

Act 2 - A SUMMER of Overcomings! (pt1)

(warning: there's some Tenma salt, i'm sorry, it took him a while to grow on me and this re-read reminded me why)

Chapter 1

i am once again thinking about the A3! Timeline (someone stop me please)

Sakuya’s toast makes me so emotional

eheheheh Sakyo’s survey 

Tsuzuru: “who did you scout?” Izumi, knowing full well that Tsuzuru’s annoyed by Kazunari: “teehee it’s a surprise!”

ksdjbvhdfvf i would love to see Tetsuro on stage

also smh Tsuzuru there are characters who don’t talk in stage, not everyone has to have lines (for example: Kattrin in Brecht’s Mother Courage and Her Children)

Chapter 2

heheh Kazu and Yuki time

ah Kazu beloved… you can afford to be a lil less shallow with Mankai, i promise honestly i do think that his reason for joining is okay? like yeah you can join into / try new things just because, but Mankai wasn’t in a position to afford that back then

fdgfchgvjhbk Kazu come on I do love how he didn’t lose his energy with the info that Yuki’s a dude 

oh Yuki my dear Friendly McExtrovert won’t even be your biggest problem regarding troupemates in this arc

MUKU IS HERE

Tsuzuru vouching for Kazu despite everything

but also guys please don’t ignore my baby boy

baby boy

good, Muku, speak out for yourself!

It’s so weird to hear Muku and Yuki call each other by their last name now

Muku bby you haven’t auditioned yet, please don’t talk like that

Tenten!

Chapter 3

Tenma wtf’s up with that attitude you literally just went inside

Honestly i admire Izumi’s patience with him, i would’ve gone “look do you wanna be here or not?”

sdkhvbdfhv Yuki’s me

pot, meet kettle

istg if you don’t wanna be there you can just leave

Kazu you’re just calling him a nepobaby

i’m glad Yuki keeps calling him out, and even gladder when he did it after Muku felt like he had to apologise bc of his sigh

Muku bby no one said that

thank you, Yuki and Izumi

hm i’m puzzled about this line bc i did hear it change? I wonder what Izumi said in japanese

Chapter 4

kdbvhsdbvkd Yuki at least Izumi held an audition this time around

no one’s forcing you to be there! shut up!

mmmmm i don’t like this line

also idk if Tenma’s problem is not knowing how to read the room or just… knowing how to read it and not caring

ITARU AND CITRON FUDANSHI REAL?

haha hello fourth wall leaning Also Tsuzuru, you’re literally an RPF writer, you have no room to talk

the impulse to call Tenma a culicagado

thank you, Izumi

something something Sakuya’s acting having inspired THE Tenma Sumeragi

“halfway decent” those weren’t your words in Ep 1 Ch 35

why are you like this

Sakuya you’re too cute ;w;

Chapter 5

I do love how Kazu mentions Tsuzuru as a reason to stay at the dorms something something longing for a genuine connection something something Tsuzuru being important to him already

I’m glad Izumi double checked with the parents even when the kids tell her they have permission

i’d forgotten just how endearing Muku’s dad was 

it would’ve been interesting to see Kazu and Yuki as roommates

“Savage, but valid!” is actually one of my fave reactions to things

but also something something Kazu being a people pleaser something something letting people walk over him and be “savages” to him because he’d rather take it and say it’s “valid” than to upset someone or rock the boat in any way

Chapter 6

SUMI TIME

ROOM 202 MY BELOVEDS

Chapter 7

i can’t contain my smile i love Sumi so much

i love Muku so much too

Kazu being friendly despite not knowing if Sumi’s a ghost or not will always make me feel warm

also i wanna highlight the fact that these people are barging into his space and screaming their lungs out and Sumi’s reaction is to offer them triangles you can’t get more kind hearted than that

I have the softest smile on my face just watching Misumi’s sprite slide around the screen

when a rando breaks into your dorm do you a) call the cops b) ask him to join your theatre troupe

i’m glad Izumi made the choice she made but it’s still so funny to me

ngl tho i do wonder if her choice has anything to do with the fact that Sumi just admitted that he has nowhere else to go

kinda wanna write a piece on the dehumanisation of Misumi now

Kazu and Muku the sweetest boys ever

Citron and Misumi being friendly to one another makes me feel so warm inside

Chapter 8

honestly i think that, for his first time, Yuki did pretty okay

(Muku was too anxious but still i do appreciate the effort very much)

MISUMI ACTING! 

i will forever love the change between normal Misumi and acting Misumi

Misumi’s voice in his first etude w Tenma is so hot 

Chapter 9

i love how Kazu treats Sumi so much, even when he asks something that seems airheaded like the “what’s Summer Troupe” question, Kazu takes his time to explain everything to him ;w;

okay i’d forgotten how cute their relationship was, they got me smiling like a fool now

i love Yuki’s comments and comebacks at Tenma so much this one’s one of my faves

this is an interesting line and i’m so curious about what it says on japanese i know he’s talking about manga, but tbh when you say “comic book hero” i think like Superman (or maybe it’s the MAWS brainrot) and i kinda doubt that’s what Muku meant here?

Chapter 10

is it me or are there… “mkyk could be victims of homophobia” implications here?

NO MUKKUN THAT’S NOT WHAT YUKI MEANT (he’s thinking the other way around)

it IS very cute that they all arrived together 

honestly? yes, Muku, you should call an ambulance unless someone at Mankai has training to deal with it, you should call an ambulance (i am doing my best so i don’t go on a rant about what to do in emergencies based on my first responder training)

Sumi, no don’t feed an unconscious person, please don’t put anything in their mouths

Izumi i love you but that’s not how it works (says the person who faints and gets up a couple minutes later)

See, even if he’s just sleeping, the fall could’ve caused some damage to his body, so he does need to get checked

sorry Izumi but i’m with Matsukawa this time around, the generational gap IS something to be dramatic about

i LOVE how Kazu has got the solution for this, we love a nerd 

Chapter 11

maaaaan i’m so emo at Muku’s general perception of himself his teammates were nice to him and seemingly just wanted to see him more often? but Muku still thinks he disappointed them and says that him possibly being a track star is silly and *cries*

also i don’t wanna be a nag but i think Muku should’ve told Izumi about his injury when he first joined, the practice could’ve maybe made it worse and i would HATE to see that happening (trainer brain: on)

Muku’s such a team player and someone who cares so much about others i love him

yEAH THEY STILL CARE ABOUT MUKU and i’m so upset about Muku not seeing it

Muku my boy, those kids seem to genuinely care about you, i don’t think they’d laugh at you

yes, thank you Izumi

YES IZUMI! i love how she hypes him up in this way

sobs in Floral Prince

he’s such a cutie

Chapter 12

oh man i’d forgotten how stiff Yuki and Muku’s acting was at the start

i feel so bad for Muku his anxiety is so bad ;-;

hm i do know that Muku’s always been timid and anxious but now i’m wondering if maybe his anxiety got worse after he had to quit track

i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE TO MUKU I CAN’T

everyone coming together to comfort Muku, thank you

THE START OF MISUMI GIVING TRIANGLES FOR COMFORT

Chapter 13

y’know i don’t get why “amateur” is a bad thing

i DO appreciate Tenma’s respect for Sakuya and trusting him with this 

have you never heard of synergy?

what kinda directors has he had ‘til now to think like this????

lol i love Izumi’s reaction to his proposal

he’s so proud of it too lmao 

Chapter 14

this kinda nitpicking i can stand i’m finally starting to relax lol

oughhhhh this line says so much about how Kazu performs in social environments too and aaaaaaaaaah Something something Kazu understands and sticks to his role of paripi but he stays on the surface and never tried to go deeper with / make something more significant out of any of the relationships he has

hey how much do y’all wanna bet that Kazu knows the right answer to this but acted like he didn’t?

Sumi giving Muku triangles makes everything right in my life

Muku is such a good boy he works so much and cares so much and and and ;w;

Chapter 15

oh i will need some mental strength to make it through this chapter

spoilt brat. 

oh An’s gonna have a field day with this line lmao 

fucking spoilt brat.

thanks, Yuki

i’m clenching my jaw so hard just to get through these scenes

ah this line

i know that it’s true, i know that Kazu knows it’s true but holy fuck this line always stings so bad

AND KAZU’S REACTIONS MAKE IT WORSE! HIM NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY AND TRYING TO BRUSH IT OFF STING SO BAD

my chest is actually in pain rn

Kazu having no way to defend himself against that comment because it’s true, and he knows it’s true, and any reaction he could have, be it going along with it or getting angry and defending himself, would prove that Tenma’s right and it would make Kazu’s mask slip completely 

Chapter 16

Izumi is so much better at being a caring adult than i am

she’s also way kinder to Tenma than i would be ngl

which i guess was needed because we’re finally at the point where he starts getting better, thanks to her kindness and understanding

something something people grow and thrive better in a caring and understanding environment

okay i’m finally calm with this whole situation

Chapter 17

seeing Tenma try is so nice, actually, i’m relieved

YEY MUKU FOR MAKING IT 

for once i do feel like Izumi, i can’t stop smiling either

Chapter 18

heheh fireworks (let’s ignore the fact that i don’t like fireworks because i do like this part very much)

sdkvhbhdfbv Kazu and Yuki being little shits is so fun

okay yeah Tenma’s very cute in this scene, him being both naive AND showing that he cares about the rest in his fear? good shit

Kazu is so right about Tenma missing out on school activities being a sad thing him being the one to point it out makes me wonder if he’s either speaking from experience (having focused so hard in his studies that he didn’t get to enjoy the social parts of middle school) or maybe just projecting? either way, i think this is a nice line to read with the knowledge we now have about Kazu, it kinda foreshadows the reveal that’s gonna come soon

oh i am SO fighting Kusumi for this one

LIKE LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE REASON WHY WOULD YOU NOT LET YOUR SON GO ON THOSE TRIPS? I DON’T SEE ANY REASON FOR THAT OTHER THAN PURPOSEFULLY BEING SHITTY IT’S NOT LIKE HE CARES ABOUT MISUMI BEING AROUND ANYWAY

Sumi sounds so happy when he brings up being nc with his family but then you look at how he feels about Madoka and… yeah ;-;

yes, thank you Kazu

i was gonna say Tenma was being tsun when he said they weren’t friends (yet) but he IS right, they’re not friends at this point, they just started being friendly

this scene (and CG) made me laugh a lil from joy

Chapter 19

oh Kazu… this… hm… (this is where i insert my “Kazu flirts to keep people at a distance” hc)

Yuki’s disdain for all things romance my beloved

for once we agree

i do appreciate that the messages all the boys send are vague enough to be interpreted as not flirty

except what Kazu wrote for Yuki, that one’s just annoying

Good intuition Izumi

hm do you guys think Kazu’s “making up for lost time” line applied to himself too? because him being the one to initiate the gossip session makes me feel like it does

Yuki’s disdain for all things romance my beloved (2)

ngl i always found the wording here a bit weird like he’s specifying about who he does like when he’s trying to clarify something about who he doesn’t like? my only guess is that it’s like this for the audience’s / fandom’s sake

everyone validating Yuki’s masculinity is so important to me, actually

wording here is also weird but it feels more in character 

Sumi you’re too cute, never change please

n e ways this feels too yume-bait for me so i’ll stop commenting

Chapter 20

heh Sumi recognising Yuzo is so cute to me do y’all think Yuzo ever babysat him? i think that’d be cute

it’s very interesting to me that Yuzo’s criticism of Muku is not that he was bad or wrong in any way? but that he was gonna get overshadowed

hell yeah Yuki deserves all the praise for his work

Kazu too! He’s so talented

i love the designer duo, even if Yuki said no to teaming up and being a designer duo

[zapsoda]

aUGH you talked about bax's and babygirl's i mean. roy's bad eyesight. does anyone else have an likewise handicap or disability? also what's their weakspot for each one of them ... both physically and mentally if you want to write even moar words hehe

ofc!!

as previously mentioned bax has shit eyesight. hes also a bit mentally ill (lack of survival instincts), and while that can be beneficial when in dangerous situations where he needs to act effectively and expediently it can also be VERY DISADVANTAGEOUS. for obvious reasosn. what would the crew do without him? when hes constantly getting injured and incapacitated?

roy has her weird eyesight, and she has kind of the opposite of bax's problem. shes pretty anxious and has trouble acting and making quick decisions. she doesnt really like getting into *serious* trouble (she likes silly stuff and pranks and goofs though), anyways this makes it harder for her to step in when someone needs help.

clam *is* a runaway government android and so basically anything that isnt healing or surveillance is antithetical to what he was programmed for which is bad for everyone. he wants so badly to deviate and cultivate more of an identity but its gotta be just one step at a time, while roy and the others help him reprogram his body and brain bit by bit. which sucks. he wants physical agency Now.

tallys lack of horns and low-ppointing fin rays would land him very low in his home planets sort of caste system. not like. homestuck per se, its less ingrained and more socially enforced. on a dangerous planet where community contribution holds a lot of social weight, being physically weaker, lacking parental skills or instincts, and being kind of selfish on top of all of that made him very. not liked. this is part of the reason kip feels so responsible for him and overly protective.

anyways hes kinda internalized it. every single crumb of attention and validation sends his ego to the moon (metaphorically). he is torn between accepting a low place in life and society "everyone hates me, why should i change that" and desperately trying to prove his worth to anyone who will listen. yaaay mentla illness mwah (i kiss him on the forehead)

kip is the opposite of tally. he has horns. his fin rays point straight up. hes big and strong. he can hunt and protect. hes kind of tender and paternal. hes generally well respected. and he left all that. with his "nephew."

hes used to the expectation of taking care of everyone, protecting them, making sure nothing goes wrong. so he overcorrects. he comes off a bit controlling, though he normally channels this through his cooking. its like a healthy outlet, where he has control over everything as long as everyone stays OUT of his FUCKING kitchen.

hes also very slow to learn and a bit stubborn (though he tries very very hard to work on this)

hes honestly very stable and good at keeping himself together unless He were to be the one hurt and or in trouble ahahaha. he would not handle that. he would go crazy. the thought of being the one to need others makes him ill.

he is so fucking awkward around clam and its for two reasons. 1. dont wanna break him, unfamiliar object, not sure how the best way to proceed 2. stop trying to help me stop leave me alone you sick vermin

deep down he loves clam though cause he feels like theyre the same. "this weird animate object is just like me fr" he admires clams instinct to help others a lot eheheheh.

[tealenko]

The Three Letters (Chapter 8)

Chapter 8: The Path of the Deathless

Here we are, finally!!! XD Wanted to post one more chapter before going back to work (I wasn't expecting to make it in time though ehehehehe)

So, I promised to change the ending of RotTR and here you have it. Without a doubt, this chapter cost me way more to write than any of the others. I really like the end result, I think (I feel proud that I somehow made it work lol)

Hope you like it too

Summary: Lara makes it to the Divine Source just in time to try to stop Ana from making a huge mistake but, not wanting to listen to reason, this one threatens to harm Jacob in order to reach it.

Words: 4464 Rating: Teens and Up Warnings: death and all that stuff (nothing too graphic though, just a light show)

All Chapters -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]

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The bow tenses against her chin in a way that’s completely new to her.

“…”

Ana’s arm rises. 

Her own answers instantly, more a reflex than a chosen action.

“No.” Lara orders, while she pulls from the string even more, feeling the pain as it leaves a mark against her skin.

The bow is almost an extension of her own being at this point in time, but the way she’s holding it right now is a novelty. She doesn’t recognize this strange force, doesn’t know where it comes from and, most importantly, she doesn’t seem to care.

“Step back.” Lara orders.

There’s no pleading nor asking in her words, neither is she attempting to make a deal, instead she takes a step forward, with her eyes focused on her target like never before in her life, repeating her command in an even more demanding tone of voice.

“Step. Back.”

But Ana doesn’t.

There’s only one thing remaining between her and the Divine Source and she isn’t going to stop now that she’s so close to reaching it.

Having this in mind, and trusting the fact that, despite their differences, the closest thing she’s ever had to a daughter won’t have the guts to kill her, she finishes raising her trembling hand and points it to her own target.

“This is the only…”

That’s all she’s able to say before she notices how mistaken she truly is.

The arrow flies so fast that she’s unable to see it, but she quickly feels it as it impacts against her knee.

“Shit!”

Ana falls to the ground, screaming in pain and, before she has the time to realize what has happened, Lara has already started running, to her surprise, not towards her, but in the opposite direction, way too preoccupied by whom the gun was pointing to be even remotely worried about the person holding it.

“Jacob…” Lara almost whispers, losing the strength of her voice as she reaches him, seeing now the true depth of his wounds.

“Yeah…” He replies in a similar tone of voice, doing his best to keep standing. “Had to go through a lot to be able to get to y… To get here.”

Lara’s hands move, without her own permission, to hold his in between them and, as a result, all he can do is dedicate a look of delight to her.

“Glad to see you’ve made it in one piece, though.” He jokes, doing his best to keep standing. “I must be getting too old to keep up with you. ”

She gets lost for a moment, to the point where she isn’t able to see or hear anything else that isn’t Jacob. If she could, she would have noticed by now the sounds coming from outside the vast room, caused by the army of deathless soldiers as they gather all their forces.

But she doesn’t.

His smile pierces her soul in a way it shouldn’t, and at the same time, his pain seems to tear it apart in a hundred million pieces.

It’s fine. He’s fine. Her conscious mind tries to remind her. He’s immortal, afterall.

But her heart has reached a point where it’s no longer able to tell that fact apart and, the moment she sees him suffering, it starts to suffer along with him.

The result of all this inner battle is a sad chuckle that is quickly followed by a couple of rogue tears.

They send a clear message but, to their dismay, before Jacob is able to decode them, the situation starts to crumble around them in record time.

At the same moment that the few forces holding Jacob on his feet abandon his body, Ana is able to stand up and, with Lara doing her best to break his sudden fall to the ground, she’s left with a clear path to the Divine Source.

Without a hint of hesitation, she takes it.

When Lara realizes what’s truly happening Ana’s hands are almost about to reach it.

“No!” She screams, with the hint of pleading that wasn’t there a few moments ago. “It’s not what you think, Ana.”

Her sentence makes her stop for a second, acknowledging the truth behind her words and, with the sound of the army gathered outside the room increasing at a hastened pace, the fear creeps into her heart long enough to make her fall silent. 

Lara, sensing her doubt, doesn’t waver to take the opportunity and attempt to explain to Ana the origin of the source.

“It will kill you.” She states, feeling the worry starting to build in her chest. “It will kill you if you aren’t worthy...” Another tear runs down Lara’s face, caused by a different person this time around. “Please… Do not take that bet.”

Ana stares at the source for a couple seconds and makes final her choice, turning to look at Lara one last time before stepping ahead.

“Please!” She begs despite knowing her words won't be able to stop her.

And they are not.

“I’m dying. This is my only hope.” She screams from the top of her chest, hesitating no more as her hands start to move.

“Ana, no!”

A sensation of horror invades Lara’s body and, after sharing a quick look with Jacob, both to confirm he was okay and to tell him what she is going to do next, she starts to sprint towards her direction, quick enough to cover almost all the distance left between them, but not fast enough to make it in time.

Despite her best effort, Ana takes the source and, just as she is about to reach her, the judgment starts.

It takes less than an instant and, before Lara is able to comprehend what’s happening, the light of the source starts to surround Ana.

Slowly at first, almost with delicacy, but that doesn’t last for long and, in less than a few seconds, the filaments of light transform into strings and start to tangle around her body.

“No!” Ana screams, feeling the light starting to suffocate her, trying her best to release the artifact but unable to do so.

The ivory filaments trap her in an instant and, before her scream vanishes into the air, what is left of her is quickly transformed into a white flash so bright that manages to blind Lara for a few seconds.

When she finally makes it to where Ana was standing, there’s nothing left to save, just the remnant filaments of light that maintain the divine source floating mid air for a few seconds, disobeying every rule of physics, before gravity starts to function with normality once again and the artifact starts to fall.

Against her better judgment, without even stopping to consider the idea, or a hint of self-reflection, she decides to grab it.

Just as they did before, Lara's hands move on their own, and prevent the source from crashing against the ground.

“I…”

For a few moments her mind doesn’t finish comprehending the action that her body has taken without consulting it, and it isn’t until she sees the what’s left of Ana laying on her feet, that she starts to realize the depth of her mistake.

The horror invades her once again, as her eyes stay fixed on the small and glowing bundle of clothes and ashes that she’s seen so many times in the past few days: Ana has been transformed into one more slave to serve the source for all eternity and, unless she finds a solution, she’s going to be the next one.

“Shit...” A tear runs through her face as she attempts in vain to release the source before it consumes her, but the light tangles around her hands with enough strength to prevent it. “Shit.”

Lara stares at it for three seconds. Perhaps the longest three seconds of her entire life.

The first of them is dedicated to fright. 

All her body freezes as her heart twists inside her chest with the reality of her imminent death materializing in front of her eyes.

The second one leaves room for sorrow. 

Despite not weeping a river of emotions, the few tears that travel through her face carry along with them more sadness than an entire lifetime would be able to gather.

“Shit!”

She shakes her head, which doesn’t make them disappear, but it’s enough to let her recover some resemblance of control over her own body and gives way to one last moment of reflection. 

Her last one.

And, this time around, third is indeed the charm, for not even in between the horror, the sorrow and the fright, is her mind able to forget about him.

So in her final moment, all there’s left: is love.

Her body forgets about the light, the pain and everything else, and turns to face him, leaving every worry behind as if it didn't exist.

Jacob is already standing when their eyes meet and, with three seconds more, he is able to close the distance between them like it’s nothing, forgetting too about all his wounds and his own pain in order to reach her as soon as he is able.

And so he does.

There’s no sight of dismay on his face, nor hesitation, for he has no doubt of what’s going to happen next and he does not fear it.

Lara doesn't understand it yet, but the mere presence of Jacob is distracting enough to make her forget the fact that, if she was meant to follow the same path as Ana, she would already be dead by now.

But she isn’t. 

She would see that the color of the light is now bright blue, unlike before.

But she doesn’t.

Instead, she just stands, looking at him, extending one of her arms to touch one of his as the light starts to travel through her, not even realizing that she gained back the control of her body and that her hands are no longer glued to the Divine Source.

“Finally…” He whispers, looking at it for a second, before redirecting his glare to meet her eyes again. “Finally.”

“What…?”

There’s confusion in Lara’s face, but it doesn’t last for long, for most times the universe has its ways of letting us know what’s about to happen in the most cruel form available, and this one it’s not an exception.

Before she’s able to say anything else, Jacob’s legs start to fail him, making him collapse immediately to the ground, with her doing her best to stop the crash once again. 

This time around though, his wounds aren’t the one causing the fall and, with one last look into his icy eyes, she finally starts to comprehend the dark reality of what’s really about to happen.

“No...” She whispers, as the horror of their current situation starts to set in her heart. “No.”

“There’s always a price…” Jacob's eyes start to water a little, but his smile doesn’t disappear, instead, it gets even stronger as he traces every detail of her face. “It’s finally my time to pay it.”

She places the source on the ground next to him, and her hands tremble like never before in her life as she extends them to grab his.

“Take it…” She begs him in between tears, much more haunted by this new scenario than by the now forgotten possibility of her sudden death. “Please, take it back.”

“Too late.”

“No!”

“The change has been made.”

Despite knowing she isn’t gonna change his mind, she tries one more time, moving closer enough to him in the process.

“Please!” A half scream half cry escapes her body along with her last plea, for she already knows what’s next. 

She knows he’s right. She knows it’s too late.

The light is no longer coming from the source, It’s coming from Jacob, tangling around her body, hugging her, becoming one with her own flesh.

There’s no rush nor ashes this time around and the glowing filaments, which were able to reduce Ana into a burning bundle of clothes in less than a couple seconds, seem to caress her instead of attack her, melting into her skin with all the care in the world.

There is no pain either.

Or at least, none caused by the light itself for, as Lara comes to terms with the events developing in front of her eyes, the agony of her reality quickly starts to hit her.

“It’s okay.” He tells her, able to read all her emotions on her face. “It’s…”

Lara hugs him in the middle of his sentence, with her whole body acting once again on its own.

“I’m sorry.” She half whispers next to his ear, tightening her arms around him, feeling how her whole world turns into darkness despite being in the presence of so much light. “This… This…”

Her words quickly fail her when she starts to notice his arms losing their strength and, in a final attempt to ask him to do the impossible, she breaks the hug and begs him for the last time.

“Jacob… Please… ” Lara pleads as their eyes find each other “Hold on…”

He stares at her and, to her surprise, laughs a little before giving her the only answer that she’s really been dreading to hear.

“I’ve held on… For too long already.”

Lara closes her eyes in agony for a second, trying with all her heart to process the reality that she now must face.

Jacob, on the other hand, the one who should be crumbling in despair instead of her, is just patiently waiting while he focuses all his efforts on his breathing, smiling from ear to ear, only preoccupied with learning every little detail of her face so he can harbor it in the afterlife.

She feels confused, miserable and angered, all at the same time, not truly believing his reaction but, after a quick moment of realization, she finally understands why he is acting the way he is.

He already knew.

“You wanted me to take it…” She states out loud, which he quickly confirms as he deepens his smile. “You knew I’d be worthy.”

Jacob nods, instead of answering, feeling all his strength leaving his body but, having still so much to say, he musters all that’s left of his will in order to expose, at least, some of the truth that he has worked so much to hide.

“In all my years…” He finally manages to say, with the faintest tone of voice she has ever heard him. “I’ve met few as extraordinary as you.”

That will have to suffice. He adds in his mind before he starts to cough, paying the price for all the effort he invested into casting those few words.

“It’s finally happening.” He laughs while struggling to keep breathing, too preoccupied with easing her mind on these last few moments to focus on the pain that invades him. “My ending.”

“I’m sorry.” Her words tremble as they come out of her mouth, mortified by the sigh of Jacob in this state. “All I wanted was to make a difference.”

The tears come back, but no for long.

She feels hopeless, she feels broken and, above all, she feels lost. Nevertheless, his response comes to her rescue right away.

“You already have.” Jacob preaches more than says, slowly moving her hand to cup her face. ”...you already have.”

Lara’s eyes close as one last tear streams down her face.

This is it. She tells herself before opening them again, taking a deep breath as she does her best to calm down.

The deathless finally make it into the room but, instead of seeking the source like she thought they would, they just start to surround the central platform, leaving plenty of space between them and Lara.

She only has the chance to look at them briefly before the light starts moving, gaining back her attention.

Jacob looks like he’s about to disappear into thin air, and no longer has the strength to keep smiling, but with what’s left of him he gives her a final nod, trying his best to be reassuring.

The soldiers stare, emotionless, witnessing the scene as they wait for the rest of them to make it into the room and, in just a few seconds, they recover Lara’s attention, moving all in sync to kneel before her.

She scours the room briefly before realizing that Ana’s remnants are no longer there.

One more servant to the source. She thinks, looking for her in the kneeling crowd despite knowing way too well that she won’t be able to recognize her.

One more sacrifice.

Jacob’s eyes close at last, and the tears make their comeback as she stares at him, still not truly believing this is really happening.

A cry of despair comes out of her body as she instinctively moves to hug him.

He wanted this… 

She tries to tell herself, in an attempt to avoid falling completely into the darkness.

“He wanted…” Lara looks around as she says this, leaving his body to rest with all the care in the world, contemplating the scene that she’s now starring in. “He… He deserves…”

Her tears keep pouring out of control, to the point where her eyes are starting to sting, and any effort she makes to try to wipe them with the sleeve of her jacket doesn’t seem to have any effect.

“He deserves to rest.” She’s finally able to say, trying to convince herself that this is the best possible outcome. “He deserves an ending.”

Her hands close while trembling and, in an attempt of calming down, she decides to move her eyes away from him and redirect them once again to the deathless ones. Nevertheless, this soon proves to have the opposite effect to the one expected.

They are still kneeling and, the sigh of it, it’s impactful enough to start brewing a new emotion on the bottom of her heart.

It’s almost like they were asking to serve me.

She shakes her head a couple of times.

Serve me…

A sad laugh escapes her body while her fist impacts with anger against the ground.

“Serve Me!?” What began as a simple feeling hidden in the depths of her soul quickly starts to grow, and the fury that sparked so easily in her body a few seconds ago, is now turning into raw unfiltered rage. “Me!”

Lara looks around one more time before hitting the ground once again, now with both of her hands.

“Like I deserve this…” There’s a quick moment of silence, followed by one of enlightenment, that only manages to increase her anger even more. “Like he deserves this!”

Her hands move to wipe her tears one more time, and one more time they keep falling down. The only difference now is that she’s way too mad to even care.

“You… You do not deserve this.” She shakes her head and brings one hand to her heart, closing her eyes in the process. “This… Is not enough.”

Lara moves enough to stare at the source, dreading the moment that she, or better said, her hands, decided to move in order to catch it before it fell to the ground.

She takes a couple of deep breaths and decides to look back at Jacob, watching as the blue light reflects onto him, wondering how many seconds left they have before he’s completely swallowed by the darkness.

The battle between her feelings seems to come to an end, for a few seconds, as one quick thought crosses her mind, managing to bring her some kind of peace.

“You do deserve an ending.” 

She admits, moving her arm to cup his face one last time but, once her hand is half way there, the fire of her anger reactivates without a hint of warning, finally winning control of her mind, her heart and her entire body. 

“But not this one…”

It comes only as a whisper at the beginning, almost as if someone else had said those words instead of her.

“Not this one.”

This time around her voice is clearer and, as the anger melts with the many emotions that she's been trying to hide for so long, Lara loses complete notion of what’s happening aside from the two of them.

“You deserve to live.” She tells him, getting closer to his body despite knowing way too well that he cannot hear her. “You deserve to be free, to be happy…”

All of the deathless stand up at the same time in the middle of her speech, but she doesn’t even notice that they are moving.

“You deserve to grow old… And to experience a life without self-sacrifice, or pain, or sorrow…”

She doesn’t even hear them when they start to walk towards her.

“You deserve so much more than this!”

If she was witnessing her current situation she would realize that she’s only a few moments away from losing him forever. 

But she isn't.

She isn’t paying attention to the army of fallen soldiers, nor to the many lights surrounding them.

“You cannot leave… Not like this.” 

Lara’s eyes turn to look at the source one last time, dedicating once again three long seconds to stare at it. 

Nevertheless, this time around, instead of going through hundreds of feelings, there’s just the one, that keeps growing and growing until, just as all this began, takes control of her body and does what she’s been wanting to do from the moment that she set her hands on it.

And you won’t.

Before her mind has the time to process the possible consequences of what she’s about to do next, Lara grabs the Divine Source and, with all the strength that she’s able to summon, smashes it against the ground, immediately breaking it into countless fragments and pieces.

The impact not only demolishes the source, it also creates a blue energy wave that travels through the entire room, turning all the soldiers into ashes, quickly disappearing into the air without leaving any hint or trace that they were there to begin with.

The light vanishes along with them, leaving an empty room, except for Lara and Jacob, that now it’s only illuminated by the rays of the sun, tinting the whole scenery in an orange tone.

Her eyes scour the room, not truly believing what they’re seeing, but she doesn’t have the time to process it before something else gains her attention.

Jacob moves a little and, after a few seconds, opens her eyes.

He looks confused, but not for too long, quickly understanding the outcome of their evening in record time.

Lara just stares at him doing her best to contain all her feelings inside her chest, which she succeeds, until she finally hears the voice she was convinced she would never have the chance to hear again.

Until she hears his voice.

“What have you…” It’s only a weak whisper at the beginning, but that’s more than enough for her.

Before he’s able to finish his sentence she’s already hugging him, letting the silent tears fall slowly as her arms wrap around his body.

To say Jacob is surprised at the beginning, would be an understatement, but he quickly attributes her feelings and reaction to the near death experience instead of seeing the much simpler reality.

After processing all this, he just sighs and, with a kind smile on his face, returns the hug, allowing himself to tangle his arms around Lara and bringing her a little closer to him.

“What were you thinking?” He asks with the most casual tone he’s able to find, breaking the silence but not the embrace, doing his best to contain the pain hidden behind those words.

“I wasn’t.” Lara replies without hesitation, taking him a little by surprise. “ I…”

Lara laughs at her own thoughts and, after a moment of reflection, she pulls backwards a little, breaking the hug and sitting next to him, moving her eyes to look through the huge breach of the wall while letting the sun bathe her with its rays.

“I didn’t want you to go.” She finally admits, before shaking her head a few times. “Not like this” 

She decides to turn a little to look at him.

He is already looking at her.

The warm light coming through the breach tints her features, turning even brighter as she dedicates a faint smile to him, taking a moment to breathe before she resumes her speech.

“A millennia of pain and death and sorrow. Of fighting, of hiding. Lifetime after lifetime… The wars, the invasions. You’ve been suffering since the moment you set your hands on that thing, and I…” Her words get stuck on her throat, but she tries to continue nonetheless. “I just couldn’t… I couldn’t… ”

Understanding what she’s attempting to say, or most of it, Jacob moves his hand slowly and reaches for hers, mirroring her previous smile as he looks into her eyes.

“You could’ve died, Lara.” He reproaches her, but in the sweetest tone she’s ever heard in her entire life, too mesmerized by the sight of her to be able to be mad about her actions.

“You too.” She answers, no hesitation once again, way too happy about the outcome of this whole situation to worry about filtering her words.

The only thing he can do is smile, unable to contradict the bare logic of her response and knowing that, in her place, he would’ve taken the exact same path.

Lara tightens the grip of his hand and returns his smile, giggling a bit in disbelief, before turning to look to the horizon once again. Jacob’s eyes follow hers after a few seconds, taking his time to scour the way too familiar view of the valley through the big breach of the northern wall.

There’s nothing left to say after that, but they silently decide not to leave.

After everything experienced in such a short amount of time, the two of them need to process all that’s happened, to calm down and, above all, they both need to rest. 

So, instead of joining the forces of the remnant right away, they remain there.

They stay in the center of the room for what seems like an eternity. No words needed, not anymore.

They just sit and wait, one next to the other, looking at the horizon as all their feelings fade.  There’s no more pain, nor fright, nor sorrow. 

There’s nothing else to be said.

So, instead, they just wait there, in complete silence, with her fingers still interlaced with his, forgetting about everything and everyone aside from them. Needing nothing else than the touch of each other's hands to know that, as long as they stay like this, together, everything will be okay.

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Sometimes I love the ending, sometimes I'm not convinced XDDD Anyways, it's done. So there you have it.

I doubt you care, but future me usually has a blast when she reads these things, so know that I rearranged all the remaining chapters and added one more to the planning just so I can write fluff in the next one (it was supposed to be the angsties yet and I really don't have the heart... I suffered enough writing the last three!!! I deserve fluff!!! XDDDDD *slowly descends into madness*)

So yeah, next one is going to be fluff + sexual tension yaaaaaaay~~~That way I'll have a break before we enter the complicated plotline of: the consequences of SotTR aka "wtf were you thinking to volunteer yourself as a freaking human sacrifice!?" XDDDDDDDDDDDD

[aria0fgold]

oooh d'you have any more random oc facts.. I'm not good with questions but I love hearing about others ocs lol

Ehehehehe I'd love to! I love talking bout my ocs!

Ray is a really really good actor! He's a dramatic boy that loves to use his acting abilities frequently which also includes masking his emotions :D He is not okay in the og universe lmao but he is okay in the Android Omori AU and is just there that loves to cause mischief to Patch.

Also also! Ray was a really really shy kid when he was younger, he tends to hide behind Alec's back and rarely talks! His parents wanted to help with the shyness and saw how he seemed to like movies and signed him up for acting lessons. It was a mess at first but Ray really liked it! Only reason why he's so extroverted now.

Drunk Ray reverts back to his shy self though :o Although, it's hard to get him drunk. Not really a heavy drinker but he can hold his alcohol well! Benefits of going to so many parties.

Meanwhile Alec is an incredible lightweight. Any alcohol, no matter the percentage, just one shot and he's drunk. He rarely drinks to be fair. My guy likes healthy living, he is far from living fully healthily.

Of all my OCs, those two have the biggest problems of Ray thinking he is easily replaceable and Alec putting everyone before him. Honestly if they're put in a fantasy setting, Ray is a self-sacrificial dude and Alec is the same but the difference is that Alec has a strong will to live and aint allowing himself to die so easily.

Seph has problems too, actually I think all of them do whoops...

ouououu wanna talk bout seph past. im gonna talk bout seph past >:o

It isn't that like long and lengthy but like basically! Seph is adopted, first was at an orphanage and one of the caretakers is Water's mom, Angela! Seph got adopted by Sera's parents, billionaire peeps, rich business ppl. Life with them was a-okay for a time, in fact they spoil Seph a lot! But that's exactly the problem, cuz Sera is dead when they adopted Seph, both parents were grieving and the dad just so happens to have the bright idea of adopting a kid to fill that hole.

It went downhill from there when they saw how similar looking Seph was to Sera. (Blonde hair and brown eyes. Though Seph's eyes are lighter.) Except for dresses and skirts, most of the clothes the parents gave Seph are ones they can imagine Sera to also wear. Same with toys and gadgets. None of them also mention having a daughter until Seph found out bout it on his own.

A LOT of stuff happened but basically Seph funded his own company with the help of Water and Angela acting as proxy (company name is Yggdrasil.) So yeah he is also basically not okay. But! That past is different for Kitsunemori AU cuz hey! Sera is alive! Seph is still adopted but that's some trauma skipped :D

Water has problems too... Alec has bigger problems... Honestly Ray is the only one with a normal-ish childhood. Mel (im sorry my guy i keep forgetting you) also has problems.

Patch is saved from problems????? actually not really

[darkicedragon]

ococo So I've been thinking of how werewolves would celebrate their birthdays, is it like humans or more like a process of determining the strength/skills of the werewolf to know where to categorize them in the social ladder So it might be not particularly a happy occasion for some werewolves Cause imagine the first time frankenstien decided to surprise Muzaka with his birthday Muzaka goes like o.o???? "You want to spar??" Frankenstien chuckles cause he thought Muzaka was joking "no..not really. I made you this cake" "A cake!" darkicedragon oooh. they might only celebrate every 10 yrs, so franksnteins asking 'early' darkicedragon could be both! a cake THEN a spar 😏 darkicedragon it could also depend on the parents, if theyre wanting/expecting a warrior child, that would say if theyre keeping track their kid's progress

ococo :3 that just put a pressure on the child, cause most werewolves have unrealistic expectations for their children to achieve darkicedragon 'Gonna be the next lord!' 🥰 ococo Tempted to give muzaka a childhood friend who died during those events, cause his parents wanted him to be a werewolves lord material darkicedragon Oooh nyoooooo. Pushed too hard, and possibly thinking their kid was too weak to not survive ococo YES ÒWÓ Maybe one of the reasons Muzaka wanted to become lord is to ban this tradition So many lost lil cubs darkicedragon Yessssss 'Aight, if you wanna train yer pup up to be the lord, you gotta fite me' 'My lord??' 'Well? Aint that gonna prove they can be trained to be strong enough to be lord if you can do it?' ococo Ehehehehe Or Muzaka takes charge of training the pups darkicedragon Yessss ococo 30 pups at the same time trying to land one hit on him darkicedragon Oh nooooo 😂 Muzaka catching them and then swinging them around and putting them on the ground ococo Ruffle their head right before dodging the next wave of the attack darkicedragon XDD making fighting fun so theyre less stressed abt it ococo Also Muzaka adopts hundreds of kids each year XD He knows them all by name darkicedragon the ones that are really young and have scars already owq azure Franken is like =A=''' 'Muzaka, please be responsible. Now, with that out of the way, I've compiled a list with university opportunities for the 347 children we've adopted now -" darkicedragon frankenstien finally has something to spend all his money on 😂 ococo Omg baby beans work so hard to get eligible to frankenstien's scholarship program XD

[withleeknow]

this is a bit random and you don't have to answer, but as someone who follows you both on here and on your bts blog im a bit curious as to why you decided to focus on writing for skz more now. I don't say this in a negative way im just genuinely curious 🤧 and I don't know if this has been answered before but I'd love to know about how you got into skz and how minho became your bias 🫶 I love everything you write about him!! your love for him is really visible in the way you write him and I think that's what makes it so good 🥹

it actually makes me v giddy when someone tells me they follow both blogs 🥹 i’d be happy to answer this heheheh

the main reason why i’m writing more for skz (mostly lino) at the moment is just bc that’s where the inspiration is coming from right now, and that has been really refreshing! the tannies are on hiatus so i figured it might also be a good time for me to take a little break too and try out new things

as for how i got into skz/lino, heheheheheh 😈 tbh after i got into kpop again, i was only keeping up with the tannies and i knew essentially nothing about any of the other groups (skz included). tho you might’ve noticed that i was starting to get into txt back in august/september (i love them and they’re my babies but i don’t really stan them the same way i do with the tannies and skz). anywhomst, idk if you knew about the obs discord server, but in the server we used to do movie nights where we would rewatch run bts and suchwita. there was one day where not everyone could attend and i didn’t want them to miss out on us watching run bts so we just played random videos and compilations and i started putting on lino fancams (at that point i had been intrigued by him after seeing some gifs of him at the vma’s on my dash eheheheh) and i wanted to scratch that itch a lil bit. we had a couple of people in the server who were also skz stans so it was fun watching with them! and they put on skz music for us to listen to. and i fell in love with mimo in that one night lmao 🤣 and i have been Down Bad ever since <3

thank you so much tho, this was a really cute message 🥺 truly made my day ever since i read it this morning. i’m so glad you’re enjoying my fics over here as well ilyyy

[the-haunted-office]

Doomsday cackles, as usual. These humans have the darndest ways of thinking. They overlook the most obvious things, and she finds that funny.

"Do they really think it's coincidental that your- 'Magical Decommissioning Notebook' doesn't work on me? Ehehehehehe. These humans are too stupid to be in charge of you, Night. It's my notebook, a notebook that belongs to a Shinigami, a literal god of death, a god from another realm, one they cannot comprehend, let alone knew the existence of before I showed up and left that notebook which you happened to find, and yet, hehehehehehe, they can't comprehend that I might be immune to it. Hehehehehe."

The Shinigami steps away from the machinery that she accidentally broke, her grin wider than ever and her moon eyes glowing brightly to match. Whatever disappointment she might have felt moments ago is certainly gone now.

It might also be easy for Night and the other humans to forget that she, Doomsday, can see all of their remaining lifespans. She can see Night's right now and therefore knows that she is not in any danger of of whatever might result from this being on "thin ice". If Doom felt that she was putting Night's life in danger, she simply would not do whatever she was doing. In fact, she wants to kill every single person in this organization to set Night free. The only reason she hasn't yet is because she believes Night might be cross with her, and she doesn't want that. Then again... she just might do it anyway if they keep threatening her human, especially if it's over some dumb old fragile machinery.

At any rate, she just giggles again. "Ehehehehe. They still check that old thing? Ehehehehehe. They're extra stupid. Ehehehehehe. Have I ever told you one of the secrets of the notebook, Night? I'll tell you, because I think it'll be useful for you to know. You can decide whether or not you want your friends at the Foundation to know, and that'll be on you. You can simply tear out pages of the notebook, and stash them away for... later use, hehehehehe, and the pages will still work. I do it all the time." She holds out her arms in a shrug as if to say oopsie, my bad for not telling you sooner. "The notebook will never run out of pages, so you can extrapolate whatever kind of conclusion you want from that new information. You're clever, Night. Far more clever than the ones who try to pull your strings. I'm sure you will put it to good use, ehehehehehe."

"No.... nothing that simple. Actually, they're quite concerned that my Magical Decommissioning Notebook coincidentally doesn't work on you, I mean, it's killed things far above this level of reality at this point, so for you to be immune...... yeah. It concerns them."

Night sighs almost imperceptibly. Doom's underestimating the situation, as usual, although she can hardly be blamed for that. After all, she isn't the one under constant threat of deactivation.

"Well, it's more like I'm the one on thin ice. You'll probably get your containment procedures rewritten or something. I, on the other hand, literally belong to them." She shifts in her seat on top of the bookshelf, quickly changing the subject away from the reality of being a Foundation AIC.

"And it's not for breaking anything at all, I'm just saying if we happen to breach something or another, that will just add to the fact that they already consider us a strong security risk. I mean, they probably check that notebook all the time just to make sure I'm not killing off the Council or whatever."

[thedancefloorsilly]

hello, i read some of your stories and i liked them a lot, i haven't seen headcanons of kurapika with a taller s/o, so can i request a headcanon of kurapika where his s/o is taller than him (191cm) to whom Does she like to hold him in her arms and is very affectionate and careful with him?Of course, if you don't want to do it or you don't like the idea, you can ignore my request, thank you very much.

kurapika with a tall fem! s/o

aw im glad u liked them!! and YES TALL PPL FTW eheheheh as a tall girl I love this request :)) I made this as like general hc’s and not anything specific btw :P

fluff, fem! reader, no warnings

- As someone who’s more attracted to what’s inside rather than physical appearance, Kurapika first looked and treated you the same as he did to any other person. But, of course he acknowledged that you were tall, because who wouldn’t! 

- (And of course, that wasn’t to say he didn’t find you attractive deep down, because your height was definitely a wow factor for him).

- When Kurapika first began to develop feelings, he did assume that you were only into taller folks at first, and was debating whether you would fall for him or not because of that reason.

- But you can only imagine how happy he was once you both admitted you liked each other!!

- Kurapika’s absolutely not one of those douchebag guys who wouldn’t let you wear heels because of your height. Listen.. if you’re feeling happy and confident with them, then thats all that matters! 

- Something he especially loves is just being in your arms. When Kurapika gets stressed, he definitely has a tendency to spiral out sometimes, so having that time where he can relax and let someone else take care of him is just so relaxing. 

- now, kurapika hardly cares whether who’s the big spoon or the small spoon, but 97% of the time he’s usually the one being cuddled :>

- you two could just be on the bed spooning after a long day, and as you lay your arm over him, he will just continue to sink into your chest as he takes in the feeling of your hold. 

- When you guys are walking while holding hands, he will always walk a bit faster to try and keep up with you!

- (It’s actually a little cute when you see this in person...^^)

- And also?? Forehead kisses??

- Yeah, you always give Kurapika a bunch of those! You guys could just be having a conversation, or simply just looking into each others eyes (like those cute intimate moments), and you’ll gently push his bangs to the side, bend down, and peck his forehead. 

[tickly-trashcan]

A Novel Thief {KomaHina}

A/N: it’s been a little bit since I last played DR2 and I still haven’t seen the anime, so this might be a little bit wonky in terms of story set up, sorry about that! I wanted them to be in a more free setting so this takes place when they’re still at Hope’s Peak Academy! I hope you enjoy, I’m excited to finally write for Danganronpa! :D

Summary: After a long day at school, Hajime is ready to go home and get some rest. However, his mischievous partner decides to mess around with him instead.

Word Count: 1.2k (under the cut)

Hajime hummed to himself, checking his watch. His class was almost over, and then he would be free for the day. He looked at the window, seeing a few birds fly by as he sighed, placing his chin on his hand as he zoned out, not paying attention to the last few bits of his teacher’s lecture.

He turned his gaze ahead of him, staring at a plume of white hair that sat in front of him. He smiled to himself, seeing it bob up and down as the person in front of him nodded along eagerly to the professor who continued to teach.

Finally the bell rang and Hajime sighed in relief, pulling his books out of his desk and setting them on top, about to grab his bag to put them away.

“Hey Hajime! …What’s this book? We don’t have any assigned reading right now,” A voice came, and Hajime quickly looked up from his bag that he was currently putting his pencil away in. Hajime looked up and saw Nagito holding up one of his books, flipping through the pages.

“Give it back,” Hajime said, stuffing the rest of his books into his bag and holding his hand out for Nagito to give him the book back. He normally wouldn’t be so cold to Nagito considering how they were together, but he really just wanted to get home. Nagito was going home with him that day anyway, it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to see him.

The other students and the teacher cleared out of the classroom, leaving Nagito and Hajime alone in the classroom as Nagito seemed to tune out Hajime, reading the book without paying attention to what he was asking.

“Nagito,” He said, and Nagito looked up from the book, smiling at Hajime.

“Yes?”

“Can I have the book back? I want to go home,” Hajime said simply, thinking that Nagito would understand and give the book back. But he didn’t. He grinned, pulling the book closer to himself, flipping through the pages.

“Do you not want me reading it? It seems interesting…” Nagito said, a slight lilt in his voice, which irritated Hajime. 

“Nagito,” Hajime rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Give me the book back.”

“No~” Nagito teased. Well, that was pretty direct. Hajime groaned in annoyance and reached out to grab the book, but Nagito quickly turned so the book was just out of his reach. Hajime seriously didn’t have the energy for this, but it looked like sensible methods weren’t going to work with Nagito… Did they ever?

An idea popped into Hajime’s head, one that might work. He didn’t really feel like doing it, though, so he tried reasoning with Nagito one more time.

“Will you give me the book back so we can go home?”

“Nah, I wanna finish this page first,” Nagito said, a small grin on his face as he continued to stare at the book, holding it above his head so Hajime definitely wouldn’t be able to reach. Hajime grumbled.

“I don’t think you realize the situation you’re in…” He said, trying to sound threatening but Nagito only laughed.

“Oh, I’m in a situation? Why? ‘Cuz I won’t give you back your precious book? This is why I love you,” Nagito laughed, making Hajime blush. He shook his head, almost like he was trying to shake off the red tinge on his cheeks as Nagito chuckled, flipping the page again as he continued to read.

Hajime finally got sick of Nagito’s antics and decided to put his plan into action. He set his bag down and walked around his desk, standing next to Nagito. He wrapped his arms around him, making Nagito chuckle in surprise.

“Oh? Interested in some affection now, are we Hajime? Sorry, it’s not gonna get you your book ba - ACK! Whahahat?!”

Hajime had his arms fully wrapped around Nagito’s torso, and using his hands he squeezed his sides. Nagito snickered loudly, lowering his arms and hitting the book against Hajime’s head as he was tickled.

“Hahahajime! Stahahap! Not thahahat!”

Hajime reached up with one arm to grab the book, and Nagito quickly raised his hands above his head again, making Hajime growl angrily.

“If you give it back I might stop tickling you,” Hajime said simply, and Nagito shook his head, his fluffy hair bouncing around as he laughed.

“Nehehehever!” He wailed defiantly, and Hajime fully took that as a challenge to get his book back from his boyfriend. He used the hand that previously reached up for the book to scribble in Nagito’s underarm, making him shriek.

His arm pulled down slightly, but he managed to keep it held above his head. Hajime smirked at Nagito’s resilience, and it made him all the more determined to get his book back. Nagito finally raised his other arm to grab the book so he could clamp down his arm, unable to withstand the ticklish sensations under his arm anymore without reflex.

“Hahahajime! WAHaha - Wait! No mohohohore!” Nagito yelled, his face red as he threw his head back, cackling.

“I’ll stop when you give it back,” Hajime said flatly, unwrapping his arm from around Nagito to dig under his other arm, making him shriek. His arm faltered again and clamped down, Nagito quickly hugging the book on his chest. Hajime stopped tickling him for a moment to try and pry it out of Nagito’s arms, but he wasn’t budging. 

“Y-You know, some manners would be nice! You haven’t even said plea - ehehehehe! Hajimeeee!”

Hajime buried his thumb in Nagito’s hipbone, kneading as Nagito wailed out cries of laughter, shaking his head around as he refused to let go of the book.

“You’re the one who should mind his manners, being the one who stole my book and all,” Hajime shot back, a small grin of amusement on his face.

His hands travelled up to Nagito’s ribs, making him shriek as he almost let go ot the book, but still managed to hold onto it. Hajime frowned in concentration as he dug into his ribs, Nagito’s frantic cackles filling the air around them. He shook with laughter, squeezing onto the book for dear life as his worst spot was easily attacked by Hajime.

Nagito shook his head, cackles spilling from his lips as his knees finally buckled, falling against Hajime. Hajime grunted at the sudden weight on his shoulders and fell backwards. 

“Are you alright, Hajime?!” Nagito asked quickly, letting go of the book and cupping Hajime’s face, turning it gently to make sure he was okay. Hajime grinned, surprising Nagito as he grabbed the book, holding it above himself triumphantly. 

Nagito gasped, looking at the book then back at Hajime, before his expression softened into a smile. He clapped for Hajime, who chuckled before Nagito leaned down to press a quick kiss on his cheek.

“N-Not on campus!” Hajime whined, slightly flustered at the sudden affection.

“Oh, but you’re allowed to tickle me on campus? I call bullshit,” Nagito frowned, and Hajime only laughed.

“It’s your fault for stealing my book.”

“I would use the term… borrowed.”

Hajime laughed again, and Nagito got off of him, helping him up. Hajime stuffed the book back in his bag and slung it over his shoulder, glancing at Nagito.

“Ready to go?”

Nagito nodded, lacing his hand with Hajime’s, who pulled away slightly at the sudden touch. 

“Is this okay?” Nagito asked, a soft smile on his face as Hajime nodded, a shy blush on his face. Nagito smiled wider, tightening his grip on Hajime’s hand and leading him out the door.

[sou-ver-2-0]

Sou Hiyori and Kanna’s Sister Parallels

In my short time in the Your Turn to Die fandom, I haven't seen anyone discuss the similarities between our Sou Hiyori and Kanna's older sister Kugie. This subtle parallel is one of the many fantastic writing details in this game, and it happens to be my favorite one. So I wanted to talk about it! 

I love the irony that the characters in YTTD draw a more obvious parallel between Kugie Kizuchi and the game's protagonist, Sara Chidouin. Both Sara and Kugie are high-school aged girls, and Sara often plays the part of Kanna's big sister, leading Kanna to project her feelings for Kugie onto Sara. Although this is sweet, it's still a superficial parallel. Sara and Kugie play the same role, but how similar are they really? If you choose to chat with Kanna on the first day of Chapter 2's storyline, Kanna will tell you the truth about her adoptive sister. Instead of idealizing her, Kanna paints a more complex picture of a flawed young woman. Unlike Sara, Kugie bullied Kanna when they first met. It took time for the pair of them to feel like real siblings. On a deeper level, Kugie's own mini-character arc is very different from Sara's arc, but it perfectly mirrors Sou's arc!

Both Kugie and Sou have a cruel streak and they each make rash judgments about other people. However, they eventually reveal with their actions that they truly love Kanna deep down. While Sara can make the choice to abandon Kanna, both Kugie and Sou would die for the girl. Because of the striking parallels I see between Kanna's memories of Kugie and Kanna's present relationship with Sou, I want to believe that Kugie was just as willing as Sou was to die in order to save Kanna's life. Kugie's story effectively acts as a microcosm of Sou's story. So let's take a close look at it.

KANNA: ...Sara... / You're just like... my sister.

SARA: Huh...?

KANNA: Your strength... and your kindness... / ... / But my sister... / Wasn't always kind from the moment we met.

SARA: (The moment they met...?)

If you speak to Kanna during negotiation time on Day 1 of Chapter 2, the girl begins her story by telling Sara that she's just like her sister, since Sara shares Kugie's "strength and kindness." However, she admits that her sister "wasn't always kind from the moment we met." This is the first major difference between the two girls, and it's what clued me into the idea that Kugie's story might be a metaphor for Sou's story instead. It's also an early moment in which Kanna reveals that she's not as naive as people think she is. She's aware that Kugie was flawed, just like she's aware of Sou's flaws. She keeps choosing to believe in their capacity for good, even as she understands that they are capable of hurting her. 

  Following this revelation, we come to a notable choice.   

1. CHOICE: You aren't blood-related?

SARA: ...Kanna. Are you and your sister not blood-related...?

KANNA: ...Right...

2. CHOICE: Guess I win

SARA: I was nice from the start, so guess I win.

KANNA: Ah... Even the way you say weird things like that is just like my sister...

SARA: (Strangely, that just got her more emotional...)

Sara can either ask "You aren't blood-related?" or smugly observe "Guess I win." Either way, Kanna will steer the conversation back to her adoption by the Kizuchi family. But the choice to declare "victory" over Kugie here fascinates me, since it's easy to connect this competitive sentiment to Sara's relationship with Sou. While Sara and Sou are obviously in a competition for their lives, what ends up mattering more is their competition for Kanna's affections. In both cases, Sou is painfully aware that he's the underdog with "zero percent chance of success." Sou is sure that Kanna would choose Sara's life over his life, if she were forced to make that awful choice.

For Sou, who believes that Kanna loves him less, his moral dilemma is whether to support Kanna in spite of this. The fact that he supports her unconditionally in the second Main Game speaks to his strength of character. He proves that he truly values Kanna more than his own life. For Sara, who already feels comfortable in the "victory" of Kanna's devotion, the moral question becomes whether the player will make choices that are worthy of the girl. Will you help Sou protect her? Or will you decide that Kanna's life is worth less than Sou's hacking skills? Sara's choice determines whether she truly shares Kugie's "strength and kindness."

I'll come back to Kanna's feelings on this "competition" later. For now it's enough to say that she recognizes that competitive streak in Kugie too, and that memory makes her "emotional." It shows how she loves these three characters even when they say "weird things." Again, Kanna is aware of Sara, Kugie, and Sou's flaws but still feels affection for them. That's just how it is when you love someone.

Kanna continues her story:

KANNA: ...See, Kanna's adopted.

SARA: ...!

KANNA: She came to her current family from an orphanage when she was little...

SARA: So you had different parents, too?

KANNA: Mom and dad were really kind... / Kanna... was determined to always smile, childishly thinking "I can't trouble them." / ...And Kanna's sister didn't seem to like her...

Here, Kanna reveals that she has always had the type of personality where she tries hard to please others. She was worried about being a burden long before the Death Game, but for a more ordinary reason; she's adopted. She's always been self-conscious. Her ongoing heartbreak and anxiety comes from a deep place of worrying that her big sister doesn't love her. This informs her current relationships with both Sara and Sou.

At this point, the narrative shifts to a flashback of Kanna's memories.

MOM: Stop it, Kugie! Why do you do such cruel things?!

KANNA: No, it's fine! Kanna's not angry... She's not, really... / Look, see! Ahaha... Ehehehehe...

KUGIE: ...What're you always laughing for?

KANNA: Huh...?

KUGIE: ...You're creepy. I hate it.

DAD: Hey, stop that! Apologize, Kugie!

Kugie calls Kanna "creepy" and even says that she "hates" that part of her. Sara can't ever say such cruel words to Kanna; the worst you can do as a player is speak sternly to her sometimes. But Sou absolutely can say cruel things. He has called Kanna "stupid kid," "dead weight," and a "hindrance" in front of the entire group. And just like the Kizuchi parents scolded Kugie for her mean words, our group members condemn Sou for his mean words.

Now, we know Sou wasn't actually speaking his heart with those words. He didn't have malicious intent. (In fact, he was trying to save Kanna's life.) Sou said those words because he wears a mask to cover his true self. That's the essence of his character. He tries to sound tough and logical to force people to take him seriously. He assumes that once he lets his guard down and shows weakness, everyone will vote to kill him. He becomes a bully because he's insecure.

What if Kugie was also wearing a mask when she bullied Kanna? Not because of the Death Game like Sou, but for a more ordinary reason. Maybe she was simply trying to sound "cool." Maybe Kugie bullied Kanna because she was also insecure, and it would be easy to take out her insecurity on a little girl like Kanna. Kanna is an awkward child who speaks in the third person and laughs for no reason. It would be easy for an older girl to look at Kanna and think, "At least I'm not as embarrassing as that." Even though we don't know Kugie as well as Sou, I think it's a logical assumption.

KANNA: Even then, I kept on smiling... I didn't... want to make sister out as a villain. / But one day, when it became unbearable... I ran away from home.

This is the saddest part but I love it because it's a direct parallel to what Kanna says about Sou! 

During the Second Main Game, when Kanna confesses that she took the Sacrifice card from Sara, she says, "Kanna...Kanna...!! She didn't want to let Sara die...!! And also...!! She didn't want to make Sou a murderer...!!" 

The things Kanna does for these two!!

In other words, there comes a point for both Kugie and Sou where their actions are so harmful that Kanna feels like she has to throw herself away to thwart their "villainy." She runs away from home. She takes the Sacrifice Card. Because she doesn't want these two people she loves to become villains.  

We continue Kanna's story with another flashback. This time, it's accompanied by visual imagery of a small Kanna sitting by herself and crying while hiding her face under a bucket.

KANNA: ...sniff... sob...

KANNA: (narrating) I couldn't go home. I didn't want to... Thinking that to myself, I sat in the park with a bucket on my head and cried.

This is Kanna at her most vulnerable. She is isolated and alone. She has given up. 

In the present day, Kanna has many hopeless moments like this since she has just lost her sister, the person she loved most. We can judge any of the game's characters by how well they treat her, the most vulnerable among them.

In Kanna's memory, there is a character who comes to speak with her at this time. A little boy who tries to joke with her and cheer her up. Kanna only remembers him as "Brat," but to the player, he looks an awful lot like a small Joe Tazuna! The following confrontation between Kanna, "Brat," and Kugie is my favorite part, because it leads to my favorite parallel.

BRAT: Hey! Whatcha doin'? / What's with the bucket?! Yer funny!

KANNA: ...sniff... sniffle...

BRAT: Huh? You cryin'?!

KANNA: ..........

BRAT: ...Alright. / *He lifts his shirt over his head.* How's that! Ehh?! Look at me! C'mon! Funny, right?

KANNA: ...uuuuu...

VOICE (KUGIE): What're you doing?!

BRAT: ...Huh...?

KUGIE: How dare you put a bucket on her head and tease her!! Beat it, you!!

BRAT: I-I wasn't teasin' her!

KUGIE: Liar!! Kanna's crying, isn't she?! D-Don't... be so cruel to my little sister!!

KANNA (narrating): ...That was the first time she called me "little sister"...

In the scene, "Brat" greets Kanna and tries to cheer her up by being a goofball. However, Kugie sees this and gets the wrong impression. She assumes that the boy is hurting Kanna and she rushes to her little sister's defense. As a result of Kugie's actions, Kanna finally sees Kugie's true loving heart.

This is, beat for beat, exactly what happens when Sou confronts Sara about Kugie's smartphone. Just like Kugie wrongly assumed that Joe was bullying Kanna, Sou wrongly assumes that Sara tampered with Kugie's smartphone to make it seem like Kugie hated Kanna. Even though Sou is wrong--Sara was trying to fix the smartphone, just like Sou was--this is the first moment that the player can see Sou's true heart. We learn that Sou's reasons for targeting Sara aren't due to him being some scheming mastermind; he's simply suspicious by nature and he makes rash judgments. He acts the way he does because he genuinely believes that Sara is dangerous. And for the first time, we see how deeply Sou cares about Kanna. We see him stand up to Sara to defend her. Then we see how he wrote a message full of love and hope on Kugie's phone. 

When Kanna finally receives the phone, she cries "tears of salvation" over Kugie's new message. But Kugie's words are really Sou's words. And by the time we reach Chapter 3, we learn that Kanna knew the truth the whole time.

(KANNA): Kanna was always with her big sister. / Because she loved her a lot… / But Kanna was always just a bother to her… / Even that time when it mattered most, she couldn't do anything. / So she thought she was hated… / But that message... made her remember. / That surely, her big sister was watching over her… / That she had to stay strong on her own… / But, well… / The truth is, she knew… / That it wasn't her sister who wrote that message… / *Kanna remembers Sou's face.* .... / ...There's people who tried to protect Kanna. / There's people who worked to encourage her. / So... she doesn't want anyone else to die. / Because... they're all such kind people...

In the game, Kanna shares these thoughts with the player in the aftermath of Sou's death. This is the scenario in which Sou gets to complete the same arc as Kugie. They both sacrifice themselves to save the little sister they love so much. I'm sure that Kugie would have been grateful for Sou's help in writing that message and saving Kanna's life.

I'll finish sharing the rest of Kanna's story about Kugie: 

KUGIE: ...You still crying?

KANNA: S-Sorry... sister...

KUGIE: ... / ...So you cry too, Kanna.

I think the wording of that last sentence in English is interesting. The obvious interpretation is that Kugie realizes that Kanna has been secretly crying and hiding her true self all this time. But on another level, I wonder if Kugie is admitting that she herself "cries too"? That would confirm Kugie's insecurity. And it would make this a moment in which Kugie sees herself in Kanna, just like it's implied that Sou sees his "weak self" in Kanna. In any case, this "unmasking" of Kanna's true heart is a good parallel for Sou's story as well. Kanna also hides her feelings like he does.

KANNA: ..........

KUGIE: .......... / Kanna... I'm sorry...

KANNA: ...Sister...

KUGIE: Mom and dad are worried, so let's get home quick, okay?

KANNA: O... Okay! Eheheh...

It is possible for Sou to apologize to Kanna in the prologue of Chapter 2, Part 2. His wording is more ominous than Kugie's, though he keeps Kugie's sentiment about returning home: "...Sorry. / Just relax. If you’re obedient, I’ll tell you how to survive."

Continuing with Kanna's story, the narrative shifts back to the present day.

KANNA: ...Ever since then, my sister and I got along really well.

SARA: I see...

KANNA: Without any blood relation... Kanna and her sister got along really... really well... / ..........

I love this line because it can apply to Sou as well, since he isn't blood-related to Kanna either. All of Kanna's protective siblings commit to her well-being by their own choice.

SARA: Kanna...

KANNA: Kanna... will definitely go home...! Because she needs to tell mom and dad...! / Determination... / A kind of determination... much too heavy for a girl her age to bear. / ...I should be going soon. Sou might wake up, after all... / Thank you very much... Sara.

Kanna ends her story with a determined speech to return home and honor Kugie's memory. As we read earlier, Kanna gives a similar determined speech in the aftermath of Sou's sacrifice. Later in Chapter 3, she further expresses a desire to honor Sou’s memory, saying “I want to know more about the man who sacrificed himself for me.” This is Kanna at her strongest! This is a Kanna who wants to live!

I mentioned earlier that I would come back to Kanna's feelings on the "competition" between Sou and Sara for her affections. Because Sara resembles Kugie physically, everyone believes that Kanna would choose Sara over Sou. Kanna even says that Sara is "the person she most wants to live." That is Kanna's emotional appeal to save Sara from being voted as a candidate. In the event that Kanna dies, Keiji rubs Kanna’s words in Sou's face at the beginning of Chapter 3, leaving Sou desolate.

But it's important to note that Kanna's choice was always to save both Sara and Sou. To say that she would abandon Sou discredits what actually happened. After Kanna makes an emotional appeal to save Sara's life, she shrewdly makes a logical appeal to save Sou's life. And when Sou tries to direct the votes to Kanna, thinking she has the Sacrifice card, Kanna easily thwarts his efforts by simply telling the truth. Kanna was the only character who chose to be honest about the Sacrifice Card, because she never intended to let anyone else die for her. 

Kanna's choice was to reject the “competition” outright. She doesn't even take it seriously. Her reasons for taking the Sacrifice card were twofold: to save Sara's life, and to save Sou's soul. It's never a real question for her which person she values more. She would have died for them both.

This matters because Sou doesn't parallel Kugie in such an obvious way like Sara does, but the parallel is still there. It's subtle enough that Sou can't even see it. He never feels confident in Kanna's affection, which is why he ordered her, "Kanna. / Don’t you betray me." He can't see what's right in front of him: that Kanna cares about him as though he were her own brother. 

In contrast, Sara feels self-conscious about the comparisons people draw between Kugie and herself. She always feels awkward about it. She is fully aware that Kugie was her own person, and Sara can only pretend to understand what she was like. I really like the way that the manga treated this issue. Although the manga cuts out many of the excellent character moments from the game, it adds more focus on Kugie.

Sara thinks to herself, "I don't know...how many regrets that person had..." which neatly foreshadows that Kugie would have regretted bullying Kanna. Speaking of regrets also reminds me of Sou, who--in the route where he dies--regrets not trusting everyone sooner.

I wanted to end this piece on a happy note, so I'll just say that I like to imagine that Sou and Kugie would have gotten along! Maybe they would even be able to see through each other's masks and help each other. They could work together to protect Kanna, and the Player could choose whether Sara joins them.

[zintranslations]

IDEALLY IT WOULD BE KINDA HOT IF QIUSHI AND NANZHU RETURNED BACK TO THE DOOR WORLD AND BECAME THE BOSSES OF THE 12TH DOOR AGAIN. at least they wouldn't be bored? and also i just imagine people going through the door and seeing those two being lovey dovey, force fed dog food eheheheh

One brisk autumn day, the doors forum went nuts again, because the twelfth door was apparently back open for business.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE," "Was it a scheduled maintenance or what," "Okay but did anyone actually manage to pass 11 when 12 was still closed"—were just some of the fun topics of conversation.

Ever since Ruan Nanzhu's return, he'd stopped keeping tabs on the forum, happily casting it aside in favor of retirement. Lin Qiushi, however, was different. In the year he'd spent lonely and alone, he'd made a habit of scouring the forums for any potential mention of Ruan Nanzhu's name, and had never stopped accessing the forum every, oh, three days or so, to check out the latest community news.

Plus, he had extra reason to check the forum that morning. The situation was kind of his fault after all.

It took Ruan Nanzhu another four days to hear the news, and of course it was Ye Niao's loudmouth that clued him into it. Lin Qiushi had been having such a mischievous, fun time thanks to Ruan Nanzhu not knowing. But it was also good that Ruan Nanzhu found out, because there was a veteran trio coming out of White Deer—Zhuang Rujiao included—scheduled to enter their eleventh door, and Lin Qiushi knew he and Ruan Nanzhu ought to have a conversation before that happened.

So, after Ye Niao was neatly sent on his way ("R-Ruan-ge—Wait, Lin-ge—huh? Uh, oh, okay okay, I'll just be, off then."), Lin Qiushi stayed seated on the couch, settled his hands in his lap, and let Ruan Nanzhu wheel around on him.

"Qiushi." His tone wasn't suspicious, because there was nothing to be suspicious about—he'd already figured everything out. That Lin Qiushi checked the forum on the regular was a fact, therefore Lin Qiushi's deliberate failure to tell Ruan Nanzhu the news was also a fact. And why would Lin Qiushi intentionally not tell Ruan Nanzhu such a potentially critical development?

So he could sit there and look endearingly smug about it, apparently. Which meant a) it was likely not a critical development, at least not one that may jeopardize Ruan Nanzhu in any way, and b) it was likely Lin Qiushi's doing.

"Nanzhu," Lin Qiushi replied, all pleasant smiling.

"Qiushi," Ruan Nanzhu repeated, taking deliberate and interested steps forward. Lin Qiushi had called this his prowl several times in the past, and Ruan Nanzhu circled Lin Qiushi like so. Neither of them looked at all unhappy about this dynamic. "What have you done?"

Lin Qiushi's gaze slipped upward to the left, and his lips were parted as if a laugh was perched just on the brink of them, waiting to jump. Ruan Nanzhu would much rather be the one perched on those lips instead.

"I...accepted an invitation, that's all."

"An invitation from whom?"

"From...the doors, I guess?" An elegant finger pointed at Ruan Nanzhu. Did he honestly have no idea what that upturned wrist did to Ruan Nanzhu? Had he no clue the invitation that sent? "It came to me in a dream."

Ever since coming out of the doors, Lin Qiushi's personality too had gotten livelier. Your bad influence, Bai Ming had accused of Ruan Nanzhu once. Ruan Nanzhu had stonily returned something about him not knowing the Chinese language if he thought anything about Lin Qiushi could be anywhere close to "bad," and then something like just because your dick game isn't strong enough to please your lover...

Yeah, Ruan Nanzhu was a bitch, but there was nothing he delighted in more than the fact that his darling, his sweetheart, his universally beloved Good Guy Lin Qiushi stooped to his level sometimes, too. And actually kind of loved it.

So Ruan Nanzhu pouted.

"You dreamt of something other than Mengmeng? Mengmeng's hurt."

Lin Qiushi laughed and got to his feet, looking as sweet on Ruan Nanzhu as he always did.

"But it was of you though. I saw the twelfth door open in my dream."

When Lin Qiushi took his hands, Ruan Nanzhu was actually keen on a more extensive answer this time. The twelfth door? He was the twelfth door, so what fake motherfucker-twelfth door was opening itself to Lin Qiushi now?? And if the twelfth door was powerful enough to insert Ruan Nanzhu into reality, then did it also have the power to, say, take Lin Qiushi out?

"Don't worry so hard, babe," Lin Qiushi said quietly, pressing his lips to Ruan Nanzhu's furrowed brow. "You have permission to come with me."

A tension that Ruan Nanzhu hadn't been aware of dissolved along his back and shoulders.

"Go where?" He sounded plaintive enough to earn another warm kiss; Lin Qiushi liked to tease, but could never do it for long if Ruan Nanzhu broke out the whining.

Lin Qiushi's eyes, though, were still sparkling.

"Hey, I just figured fair's fair, right?" Their fingers danced together in midair between them, skimming and climbing as if each other's fingers were piano keys, all at once. "You get my past life, and I get yours."

Ruan Nanzhu blinked.

"It's less than a part-time gig, really," Lin Qiushi continued, "considering how few people make it to the eleventh door."

Ruan Nanzhu squinted, concentrating real hard on the halo of light that always surrounded his lover—at least to his eyes. Did it seem a bit different now?

...It did. Holy shit.

"Are you telling me..."

Lin Qiushi nodded. His eyes were shy but his lips were smug.

Holy shit. Ruan Nanzhu clasped Lin Qiushi's fingers. Firmly.

"What powers do you have?!" And, when the answer wasn't immediately forthcoming, Ruan Nanzhu shook his lover. "Qiushi. What powers do you have!"

Lin Qiushi stared at him some more, before grimacing. Oh, this perceptive darling of his knew him so very well.

"Yes, I can give you a female form again," Lin Qiushi sighed, not out of exasperation for drag (he loved Baijie and Mengmeng—he couldn't deny that), but out of exasperation for Ruan Nanzhu's one-track mind. Ruan Nazhu could've howled in joy. "And yes, we can visit the twelfth door dimension any time for...practice."

It seemed he wasn't the only one with a one-track mind. Or a creative one.

"Well." With the very tip of a single, seductive finger, Ruan Nanzhu traced a long, winding S-pattern across and down Lin Qiushi's chest. Lin Qiushi shivered. "As the last being to occupy that position, I'm duty-bound to help you transition into your new role, aren't I?"

A quiet, loving grin slipped onto Lin Qiushi's lips.

"But you don't remember shit," he chuckled. Ruan Nanzhu tapped at his own temple.

"Maybe not up here, but—" If Lin Qiushi wasn't going to shove his hand down Ruan Nanzhu's pants, Ruan Nanzhu would just have to do it for him. "—you're welcome to extract all the muscle memory you can from my body."