#but now I'm like. this is the best unit in the game
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cerastes · 1 day ago
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I had a Krolik moment the last time I talked about GFL2's bad script so far (in the main story specifically) so I think it's only fair I talk about the positive aspects of the game, which indeed exist. I like focusing on the positive of anything I peruse, so I think it's only right I talk about those aspects as well.
The menus are very well designed, the UI elements in general are intuitive and tapping/clicking on something will list all the ways in which it can be acquired and where, which you'd think should be standard issue by now but Here We Are, the game's aesthetic is clean and to the point, not minimalist, just not overly dressed in bells, just the right amount of flair and style. The in-game camera is fully adjustable which is important not just in XCOM style games but any game where positioning is of paramount importance. The likelihood of making a mistake in the game positioning is low, and it's only ever happened to me when I'm just quickly tapping, which is on me.
Each character's kit is cohesive and sensible. This is hugely important to me because XCOM didn't have much in the way of character variety as an intentional design choice, and other XCOMlikes, such a Othercide, tend to keep this philosophy of simplicity, of class identity over unit identity. GFL2 does the opposite, where unit identity trumps over class identity -- and does it right -- by giving each unit a different way of going about what they do and additional tools they can bring to battle in order to do sabotage the enemy beyond their role or support the team:
For example, Qiongjiu and Tololo (CHILE MENTIONED) are both Assault Rifle wielding Sentinels, AKA damage dealers. They also play completely different. Qiongjiu's entire thing is using Support Attacks. Her kit is based entirely on attacking alongside other units, with innate buffs and skills that make her attacks outside of her own turn stronger than those in her turn. This makes her incredibly devastating but also position-sensitive. Tololo, on the other hand, relies on good ol' hitting things hard as hell and building up Points (keep Points in the back pocket for now) through different conditions each of her skills have to award said Points until she can build 6, which will give her another turn altogether after she's done with her turn. Unlike Qiongjiu, who wants to grab a good vantage point and blast enemies nonstop off her allies' attacks, Tololo wants to move around and flank enemies and deal heavy damage off multiple attacks per turn when she has a double turn, and otherwise build towards this burst turn.
Inevitably, there's better units than others, and I really don't care because this is a single player game and if you care about doing well in gacha asymmetrical PvP, skill issue, you're doing that to yourself. Even when there's a clear discrepancy in raw power between units -- Vepley is largely considered very weak and completely outgunned by Lotta, the latter of which is lower rarity than the former -- there's no truly unviable unit. You can run a team of "weaker" units and still crush content, or you can run Suomi in any team and tangibly decrease the difficulty of the game drastically, and it's fine if you do that, it's a single player game, Have It Your Way.
One of the single best parts of GFL2 is that team composition trumps over individual strong units. Team synergy is MUCH more important than having one broken unit. A synergistic team of mid Dolls will perform better than one or two power carries. As it should be in an XCOM game.
I've mentioned this before but the game's presentation is gorgeous. From model quality to animation and voice acting, they really knocked it out of the park with this one. I can't really think of a better looking game except Kuro games when they go fucking crazy with it -- like PGR and WuWa -- but here you don't have to put up with Everything Else Kuro Does which tends to be pretty mediocre or bad, besides gameplay, their forte besides looking great. As much as Krolik and Nemesis have me up to my tits with frustration, Groza, Colphne and Mayling are nice, not exceptional, just nice, and there's definitely events to consider, so the final word on the script does have to wait.
But yeah there's definitely good aspects to the game, I Am Overall Enjoying It, especially Challenges and Hordes which are the parts of the game that actually are XCOM.
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endsofthearth · 4 months ago
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so I found out ab Duo Nina gushing over legally distinct Persona 5 yaoi in her voicelines and I immediately had to pull her............
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cluescorner · 2 years ago
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Dehya’s kit is dogshit
Like, her kit was already bad. And now they nerfed her?? First she has scalings that make no sense (HP ascension stat when focusing on HP is an overall damage loss), then her kit is...cool but not actually good in the context of Genshin where shielders are king and avoiding interruption can be as important as avoiding damage (straight-up tanks aren’t exactly useful in most cases), and NOW HER NUMBERS ARE UTTER DOGSHIT?? They designed her poorly for their game, the community as a whole made that clear, and instead of buffing her numbers (could at least help her be a burst DPS) or reworking how her field works they choose to LOWER HER ALREADY MEDIOCRE NUMBERS?? 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still pulling for her. I pulled for KLEE instead of Kazuha because I am a firm believer in Character > Meta and I want Dehya just to put her in my teapot. But the way her kit looks, she’s a genuine contender for the worst character in the game and the worst 5-star by far. She is worse than Xinyan, who I would argue is the worst character in the game besides maybe Dori depending on the situation. Because Xinyan can give you a shield and Dori can heal you. The best that Dehya can do is be a damage sponge that is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT IN A META THAT FOCUSES ON MAINTAINING HP RATHER THAN CONTROLLING WHO LOSES IT. Mihoyo needs to either buff Dehya’s burst numbers considerable or rework how her field works because as it is right now she is the worst limited 5-star, the worst 5-star IN GENERAL (again, at least Qiqi can heal and use ocean hued clam effectively + Diluc’s numbers are better than hers with a kit that’s less unwieldy), and quite possibly the worst character in the game. 
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pearls-gone-wild · 6 months ago
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Some very important facts in my life right now:
I'm currently visiting NYC with my kidlets, aged 8 and 10.
We are staying about three blocks away from the Empire State Building.
There is currently a giant inflatable dragon wrapped around the Empire State Building.
Kidlets are delighted by the dragon.
Kidlets are rather more delighted by the dragon than might be expected.
Yes, you might say, it's a dragon wrapped around a famous skyscraper, where's the surprise in that?
No surprise.
It's just that they're extremely excited.
They're reading Terry Pratchett 's Guards! Guards!
A book that features a giant dragon swooping off the tallest tower in the great city of Anhk Morpork.
They are quoting the book constantly
"The shape that looked like a large pair of wings unfurling was, in fact, a large pair of wings unfurling."
All the time
"Dragons don’t have friends! The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive!"
Little girls, wandering through the tourist attractions of midtown Manhattan, like
"A people united can never be ignited!"
With such enthusiasm
"This is going to be the world's first democratically killed dragon! One man, one stab!
I love them so much, I'm so proud, I picked the right partner, we made the best possible kids
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(It's a promo for HBO's Game of Thrones: House of the Dragon)
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arcadian-vampire · 2 years ago
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How to not be anxious about upcoming therapy appt: Start a project relating to your special interest, so you end up glancing at the clock feeling more annoyed than anything else
#pikaposts#like ughhh let me get the appt over with quick so i can get back to research and making spreadsheets#idc abt feelings i care about calculating turn order and damage output for a silly little video game!!!#back into the e7 special interest again btw. going insane abt it. accidentally stayed up until 4am the other day#bc i was. swapping around gear to make aither the most ridiculous glass canon ever. lol#if he survives to take his turn he can one-shot nearly anyone now <3 teehee#i want to make him even stronger though. i want to use him in rta and freak out my opponents#it's tricky though because there are a Lot of ways an opponent can counter him#if they don't ban him during the selection process ofc. i'll have to build a meta Huge Threat that they'll Have to ban instead#and i'll have to be careful with my picks + watching the opponent's picks. debuff-heavy units and ones that mess with cr will be a Problem#honestly i'll probably try to take basar so i can dispell buffs And so they can't pick him#but again. they may ban him. or aol. my aol is Ridiculous and i adore her#it's so funny to just stop the other team dead in their tracks so aither can one-shot whoever would cause me the most issues#in regular arena i usually take out their tank so my aoe dps can just wipe the enemy off the face of the earth#anyway. tldr; i'm autism and living my best life#e7 is such a weirdly Perfect game for me. i fell in love the minute i tried it all those years ago#i haven't found anything else that fills this particular niche of turn-based strategy#not with an art style i adore at least. i like e7's sprites-- most other games like this have squishy lil chibi sprites#disgaea's are cute though. i like those ones
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ellecdc · 3 months ago
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About the onde bed trope… since there aren’t a lot of those, I was wondering if you could write one with reader and wolfstar? Maybe a smut or just something fluff
hi babes! so I got this request right after someone had asked for recommendations for one-bed tropes, which I had only ever read one and shared it. SO, I wanted to remind everyone of the cute wolfstar x reader one bed fic I read by @longlivedelusion, and know that while I'm happy to contribute to this super fun trope with our lovely wolfstar, that it was more than likely inspired by their awesome work linked above!
poly!wolfstar x Potter!reader who have to share a bed [2.8k words]
CW: mutual pining, feelings of 3rd wheeling, fluff, potter family
The hotel was bustling with what appeared to be just as many staff as there were patrons waiting in the lobby.
Bags were being whisked away, key cards were being handed to waiting hands, and nearly every second person was wearing a Manchester United jersey. 
James was positively giddy and practically vibrating with excitement, Lily and Regulus had their faces shoved into Lily’s phone as they (re)read the itinerary they had planned for James’ birthday trip, Remus arched his shoulders as he let his duffle fall to the ground and Sirius murmured promises of a back massage when they got to their room, and you people watched. 
Your parents had given James (and all of his friends) tickets to the Manchester home game and a few nights stay at a posh hotel close to the stadium.
Lily and Regulus, being James’ dutiful partners, planned other things for the lot of you to do while you were here, too.
Right now, however, you wanted nothing more than to get to your room, take a shower to wash the train off of your being, and go to sleep.
Mercifully the check in counter cleared and your group stepped up to the waiting concierge. 
“Hi there! We’re checking in for Potter; group of six.” Lily offered primly as she handed the man a copy of the booking number. 
“Right! Okay, so Potter, two rooms, each with a king, for three nights.” The man read from the screen, looking over in concern when six varied protests sounded from the group.
“No, I’m quite sure it’s meant to be three rooms.” Lily corrected quickly, offering you a worried glance before she nearly leaned over the welcome desk to peer at the computer monitor as if she was ready to take over for the concierge. 
The man hummed as he continued tapping keys and clicking his mouse and scrolling and please for the love of God don’t let there be a mix up.
It was going to be you that was the problem; not Lily and Regulus who were counting on a romantic trip to celebrate their boyfriend, and not Remus and Sirius with their long-established relationship and promises of Remus’ massage.
“The booking is only showing two rooms, uhm, let me just confirm with my manager that I’m not missing anything.” He bumbled awkwardly before standing and all but fleeing from the group of you. 
“It’s probably just a mistake.” James offered quickly as he jostled your shoulder. “With this many people here, the system is probably just lagging.”
But it wasn’t just a mistake and the system wasn’t just lagging and there was very much only two rooms booked under Potter.
“Is there any way we can book a third room? It can go on the same card.” You asked meekly, nervously glancing between the manager and the computer. 
“Unfortunately, the hotel is entirely booked.” She offered you with a pained smile, and just from your survey of the lobby while you’d been waiting in line, you knew that had to be true. 
“Do you have any cots we could have sent up to the rooms?” Lily asked hopefully, earning another grimace from the manager which was all the response you needed.
You could feel the group looking at you awkwardly and you immediately regretted even coming; you should have just left James to celebrate his birthday with his partners and best friends and stayed out of it, but instead, you were the troublesome younger sibling who your parents forced the group to bring along. Maybe you could catch a train back home? Maybe you could catch a train a town or two over and just have your own mini vacation and leave them to their celebrations.
“Don’t worry, bug!” James said as he rubbed your arm roughly before reaching over you to grab the keys to the two rooms from the concierge who was clearly now only waiting for the lot of you to bugger off so he could help the people behind you. “We’ll make this work.”
“You shouldn’t have to make it work, Jamie.” You moaned as your group moved to stand against a wall across the lobby as you all tried to problem solve this. 
“Both rooms have just one bed each, right? Do either of them have a sofa?” Regulus asked first.
“The pictures online didn’t look like it; the rooms had the bed, one grandfather chair, and a desk with a rolling desk chair.” Lily responded. 
“Okay, well, both rooms have king sized beds, we can share.” Sirius offered simply, causing you to nearly whimper.
“I’m not going to impose on anyone’s beds.” You murmured as you stared resolutely at your feet.
“You can share with me! It’ll be like the old days when we’d have a “sleepover” in the living room!” James offered excitedly, and you had to hand it to him for his sense of adventure and enthusiasm, but you couldn’t help but notice the quick glance Lily and Regulus shared.
“It’s your birthday weekend, Jamie, you should get to spend it with your partners.”
“Okayyyy, uhm, what about the girls room together and boys room together?” He offered instead, causing Lily to furrow her brows at him.
“But then two of us will be sharing while four of you will be sharing.” She countered, followed up quickly by Regulus who stated he would not, under any circumstances, be sharing a bed with his brother. 
“No, you’re right, erm, well… Me, Pads, and Moony could share-”
“James, I love you, but you’re terrible at this.” Sirius interrupted before turning his gaze to you. “You should just stay with me and Moons; leave these three to their…canoodling.” He said around a theatrical gag. 
“You guys were probably looking forward to a romantic stay too.” You muttered somewhat petulantly, and that was what nearly brought you to the brink of tears.
Not that you were the figurative sixth wheel, not that you were left without a room and imposing on two relationships, and not even that you felt particularly out of place.
No, the thing that nearly brought you to tears was the fact that you were acting so petulant on your brother's birthday which he had been so incredibly excited for.
You would not ruin this for him, for any of them. 
“No, you know what, sorry, you’re right, Sirius. I’ll pile the extra bedding they keep in the closets and make myself a little nest on the floor, it’ll be like camping!” You decided, pasting on the widest smile you could muster. 
You swore you saw Sirius’ face fall slightly but powered on when James was back to clapping his hands together excitedly. “Brilliant! This will be so fun, and so worth it, bug. Don’t you worry.”
And you were worried, but he didn’t need to know that. 
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“You’re not actually going to sleep on the floor, right doll?” Sirius asked after the hotel door shut with a click behind him as he glanced around the room. 
It was perhaps a bit tight, but if you set up your little nest underneath the window, neither boy should trip over you in the middle of the night should they need to use the loo.
“Oh it’ll be fine.” You offered in what you hoped was convincing nonchalance. 
“I really think the bed is big enough, dove. And Sirius usually latches onto me in the night so you shouldn’t even notice we’re there.” Remus offered gently, watching as you flung the closet doors open to procure the extra bedding. 
“S’not my fault, moons.” Sirius countered as he trailed right on your heels to where you were trying to make your ‘nest’. “You keep the thermostat so sodding low, I’d simply freeze to death if you didn’t share your body heat.”
He ignored your indignant “oi!” as he immediately plucked your pillows and blankets off the floor from where you’d placed them and moved them to the end of the bed. “And, I think you do that on purpose; you like cuddling.” He continued, gently swatting at your hands as you tried to reclaim your makeshift bed. 
“Oh, I love cuddling.” Remus agreed readily, clearly ignoring the fact that you and Sirius were currently in a petty squabble over linens. “What I don’t like is being jolted awake to your ice cold feet being shoved under my thighs at three o'clock in the morning- dove.” He gave you a pointed look with one arched eyebrow as you huffed petulantly and crossed your arms. 
“You are not sleeping on the floor, doll. Your parents paid for the sodding rooms.” Sirius claimed resolutely. 
“They were meant to pay for three rooms so that you two would have some privacy.” You argued.
“You’re really the only one upset about this, babes.” He stated, face softening when you nervously pulled your lip between your teeth. “If you’re worried about space, I’ll take the floor.”
“I don’t want you to take the floor.”
“Then I’ll take-” Remus started, but was interrupted when both you and Sirius spat “you’re not sleeping on the floor, Remus” and “like fuck you’re sleeping on the floor, don’t be ridiculous”, respectively. 
“So those are your choices, sweetheart; I take the floor or we share the bed.” 
After this many years of knowing each other, you knew when Sirius was bluffing, and you knew when it was better to fold; with the no nonsense look that currently adorned his face, you knew that those were, indeed, your only options.
You looked over at the bed wearily; it really was quite large…and you could use your own blanket so that you weren’t encroaching on their space or stealing their blankets. 
The problem was that the bed wasn’t the only problem. It also was very much the fact that you were pretty well completely gone for two of your brothers best friends.
Two of your brothers best friends who were very much dating each other. 
Two of your brothers best friends who were dating each other that you were completely gone for and now forced to share a bed with them. 
Awesome. 
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Sirius just about died when you stepped out of the bathroom with wet hair leaving damp patches on your sleep shirt and your legs on full display thanks to the matching shorts.
He just about died again when you caught him staring at you.
He nearly died a third time when Remus’ pointed clearing of his throat was what finally broke him from the trance you had on him; both he and Remus now red in the face while you looked to be fairing little better as you hid behind your wet hair and fussed with your toiletries instead of looking at either of them.
Sirius felt horribly pathetic - years of living with the Potter’s did absolutely nothing to dim the flame he held for you, nor did the physical space that living with Remus in their own flat for the past few years offered him.
The only thing that made his infatuation slightly less embarrassing was the fact that Remus held a similar flame for you, too. 
So while this was sort of everything he’d ever wanted - spending the night in a bed with two people he was absolutely crazy about - he was equally afraid of making you horribly uncomfortable. 
“Smooth.” Remus muttered as he came up behind Sirius only after you’d gone back into the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sirius wanted to turn and sneer at his boyfriend. “I know I am” danced on the tip of his tongue; his usual suave blaseness in all its glory rearing its head at the insinuation that Sirius was anything but a certified charmer.
But all that managed to leave Sirius’ lips was a breathy “fuck” as he stared decisively at the space you’d been standing previously.
But before Sirius could spend any (more) time spiralling or Remus could offer words of encouragement (or commiseration), you were tentatively sliding into what the three of you had agreed would be your side.
Your side. 
The sentiment made Sirius stomach dip; after all these years he was finally getting a taste of what he’d always wanted.
Yet it wasn’t enough.
The lights were off and Sirius’ back was pressed into Remus’ chest as they both watched the steady rise and fall of your shoulders as you slept. They’d both felt so tired on the train ride here, yet neither of them could bring themselves to close their eyes when the alternative was getting to see you rest in their bed.
“Is this really happening?” Remus whispered quietly then, causing Sirius to snuggle impossibly further into him.
“Feels like a dream.” Sirius whispered back; his hand itching to reach out and twirl a lock of your drying hair around his finger, to encourage you to roll over so that they could see your pretty face, to pull you into him and hold you close. 
Remus tightened his hold around Sirius and pushed his nose into his shoulder. “We should tell her; need to tell her… this weekend.” 
Sirius shook his head, but it wasn’t in disagreement. Rather, it was in exasperation.
“I can’t believe she can’t tell how crazy we are about her.” 
And Sirius nearly died a fourth time in one night when you seemingly shot up out of a dead sleep and spun to face them. 
“You’re what?” You asked; no hints of sleep in your tone (nor your wild eyes) as you stared at them incredulously. 
“Fuck.” Sirius repeated eloquently as he and Remus both sat up, the latter leaning over to turn on a lamp causing both you and Sirius to wince as your eyes adjusted.
“I thought you were asleep?” Sirius accused then, but you didn’t take the bait. 
“You’re…what about me?” You whispered carefully.
“Crazy.” Remus responded quickly; whether he was braver than Sirius or opting to rip the bandaid off, Sirius didn’t know. “We’re crazy about you.”
You made a breathy sound, almost as if you were going to ask “what” or “why” or “when” before the question died on your lips. 
Sirius stared at you in wait; he didn’t know whether you were about to cry, whether you were going to demand they let you build a ‘nest’ on the floor so you could escape them, or whether you were going to call your folks and ask them to pick you up.
So when your face broke out into a slow, still disbelieving but equally relieved grin, well…he’d be damned. 
“Yeah?” You asked hopefully, eyes swimming with unshed tears as you nervously looked between the two of them. 
“Yeah…” Sirius let out with a breath, daring to reach across the expanse of the bed that the three of you had clearly decided would be a no-man zone and delighting when you eagerly accepted his hand in yours.
“We thought you were asleep, dove.” Remus offered gently, and a shy smile crept across your face as you shook your head, a lone tear trailing down your cheek that your free hand was quick to wipe away.
“Couldn’t.”
“Why not?” Sirius cooed pathetically, rubbing along your knuckles with his thumb as he took your inability to sleep to be a personal offence. 
“Was too busy thinking about how crazy I am about the two of you, too.” You admitted in a whisper, and Sirius wondered if he had even frozen long enough to share more than a 0.35 second glance with Remus before he bodily launched himself and tackled you to the bed before peppering your face with kisses as you squealed.
“You mean-” kisses “to tell me-” more kisses as you giggled “that we could have been doing this” you squealed as he nipped at your collar bone “this whole sodding time!?” 
“Oi!” Remus chided teasingly. “Don’t maul her!” Though his statement was severely undermined when he all but pulled you into his lap to press his own rough kiss to the side of your face. 
“Oh, I’m just getting started.” Sirius threatened with a beaming smile as you looked at him breathlessly; eyes bright, smile wide, and heart full. “We have lost time to make up for.” 
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Enough was enough, quite frankly. The tiptoeing, the dancing, the shy glances, the longing looks - it was all too much.
Something simply needed to be done.
Was it temerarious? Perhaps. Was it conniving? More than slightly. But was it also necessary? Most definitely.
She only hoped that she hadn’t gone too far, is all.
But any worries that Euphemia Potter may have had vanished entirely the second that her phone buzzed with a text from James the next morning that simply read: it worked.
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joeloverture · 25 days ago
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HOOK 'EM PT. 2
hook 'em hot stuff | coach!j.m. x f!reader
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masterlist | series masterlist | notifs blog | on palestine pairing: college football coach!joel x f!reader summary: [no outbreak] old habits die hard, so they say. you never understood why, but here you are, breaking into coach joel miller's house for a taste of what he's been keeping from you. warnings: (18+ mdni) reader is a bad example (a REALLY bad example), joel is so nonchalant that it's almost crackfic material, getting a semi when a pretty girl attempts a break-in, guilty joel attempts to keep his morals intact (and promptly fails), age gap (22/52), could be considered dubcon by way of power imbalance but consent is enthusiastic, undernegotiated kink for sake of storyline but don't follow this example, explicit content, pussy pronouns, daddy kink, brat tamer!joel, degradation, praise, meanish!joel, pussy slapping, belting/spanking with a belt, body writing, m!masturbation, cumplay/eating, panty play(?), face slapping, orgasm denialish (you'll see) [no use of y/n] word count: 7k (wtf) a/n: howdy. real cowboys never die so i'm back to continue what i started *checks watch* 11 months ago. (i also promised that if they won the game, i'd write this.) again, all of this is for entertainment parody, and any college implied here is incredibly fictionalized. coach!joel captured all of our hearts and he's here in this incredibly out of pocket (so out of pocket it's right) sequel. enjoy 💋
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“This is head Coach Miller at Austin. I can’t get to the phone right now, but you can leave a text or a voicemail and I’ll be sure to get back to you–”
The answering message, as it plays through the tinny speakers of your phone, is dry, lackluster. As if Joel hadn’t wanted to record it at all, had said fuck it after the first take. It sounds nothing like the voice that had talked you through two of the best orgasms of your life.
You’d tried to rationalize it at first – he’s busy, a coach at one of the biggest college football programs in the United States, it’s approaching the playoffs, maybe he’s out of state recruiting some shithead high schooler – but after four missed phone calls and two unanswered texts spread out through the course of the week, you figure that’s that.
He’d been so tender with you after fucking your brains out. Dragging a wet rag along the seam of your thighs, redressing you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He’d even refused to let you walk to your dorm alone so late in the night, his guarding, protective arm hanging around your waist as he’d escorted you to the shitty building. Now you’re leaving clingy voicemails in his inbox, staring at a ceiling that’s probably full of asbestos as you try to make peace with the fact that Coach Miller didn’t give a shit about you – only your pussy. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. 
You were probably just some dumb college girl to him, close enough to graduating that he didn’t lose sleep at night over hitting it, but too far from adulthood to complement his crows feet and successful career.
Conclusion: even if it was the best sex of your life, you should’ve hightailed it out of there the second he’d offered to take you over his knee.
Again – you’re not known for making the best decisions.
You roll over on your stomach, burying your head in your arms and shutting your phone off.
The worst part about it all is that you’re fucking horny. Unbearably so. Even just sitting there, you can hear Joel’s filthy words carouseling through your head, that initial groan when he sank all the way inside of you. Your persistent horniness isn’t the only problem, either. Lately, your roommate never seems to leave the dorm, and when she does, you find that Joel has ruined your vibrator for you. Your pussy might just shrivel up if it doesn’t get the loving it deserves. He’d lit a permanent goddamn bonfire in your stomach, and it just so happened that he was the only one with a fire extinguisher. 
But the same guy probably wants nothing to do with you. Probably came to his senses enough to know that everything about fucking his star player’s ex girlfriend is a recipe for bad news in the making.
There’s a version of yourself that doesn’t know when to stop. That’s the version that must be controlling you as you reach for your phone, opening up a new search. ‘Where does joel miller live?’ And, theoretically, you could stop right there, press the tempting little ‘x’ at the top of the screen and pretend that your mind hadn’t even gotten that far, that desperate. Instead, you click on the first article that appears: Miller’s new $1,000,000 Tarrytown home.
You could even stop there. Tarrytown isn’t a place for someone like you, waist-deep in student loans that need paying off. Tarrytown is wealthy and upscale, pretentious and genteel. In fact, you’d only passed through there once, almost blackout drunk in the backseat of your only sober friend’s car. You’d nearly jumped out of your goddamn skin upon seeing a roaming peacock with its feathers all spread, clucking through the street in search of a mate. She’s teased you about it ever since, but with what you have in mind, you’re about to be impersonating that peacock. 
Knowing that the bastard lives in Tarrytown would usually be enough to put you off — if it were anyone else. Your ‘eat the rich’ values apparently stutter when there’s a chance of getting your pussy eaten.
Curiosity kills the cat, and so you poke around Zillow for recent sales in Tarrytown. Lucky for you, only one fits the description in the article. It’s multi-story, built on a half acre behind a centuries-old oak tree. And going for the hefty price of $1,002,358.
Nine minutes away. A good commute. Gated, and probably for good reason, considering what you’re about to do.
You throw on a nice, lacy set underneath your black clothes and top it all off with a black baseball cap. You’re pretty sure it’s Lucas’s, your shitty ex’s that had technically started this whole mess, but you can’t be too sure.
You don’t tell your roommate where you’re going, just that if everything goes well, you won’t be back until tomorrow morning.
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You chain your bike to a lamppost, and it sticks out like a sore thumb on the cobblestone sidewalk. Even though you’ve already seen the pictures, Joel’s house is hardly even a house. It’s a fucking palace with windows for walls and a vaulted roof. Everything is stacked on top of each other, and the oak tree mentioned in the listing casts a shadow along the structure. The gas lamps adorning the gated limestone archway are on, and the flames wince across the concrete path leading into the home. They aren’t bright enough to blow your cover if Joel happens to peek through the many, many windows, but you steer clear of them regardless.
The gate really isn’t that tall, only about eight feet off the ground. A nearby sturdy tree gives you a good place to prop yourself up as you haul yourself over it and into a well-kept patch of ferns. You roll into the dirt, grunting as you almost fall flat on your ass. Your elbows catch you at the last second, and you take a few deep breaths.
You dust yourself off, squinting through the front of the house in hopes of catching a glimpse at him. He’s definitely home, and probably away, too, judging by the amount of lights that are on. Still, no sign of him. All football coaches have to be a workaholic. You wouldn’t be surprised at all if he was in his home office with his feet propped up, watching tapes of his opponents to prepare for the next game.
Good. Less chance of him seeing you right away.
Joel seems like the type of guy to subscribe to the ‘fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,’ philosophy, so it makes sense that both of his garages are closed. You half-crawl, half-crouch your way through the front yard, careful not to crush any more of his plants as you creep your way up the front steps. You give his front door a shot. Locked, too.
“Shit,” you mumble to yourself. You inch through the brush, turning the corner of the house and taking cover behind his rumbling air conditioning unit so you can scan the back patio.
Of course Joel Miller has a pool. And you’d bet good money that he never uses it. There’s an unlit fire pit surrounded by a sunken seating area nearby, and you slink through the area to make your way over to the terrace. Your hand reaches out for the doorknob, but it doesn’t even get there before you’re eating shit for the second time that night.
A body slams into yours as you hit the ground with a cry, your shoulder taking the brunt of the impact as concrete scrapes at your palms. Even though it’s dark and everything feels like you’re trapped in a kaleidoscope, you’d have to be an idiot not to recognize the familiar weight pressing into you. Strong thighs wrap around yours. Calloused hands grab at your wrists, effortlessly pinning them over your head. You squirm, trying and failing to knee at the small of his back.
You should be scared, terrified, maybe, of what he could do to you. Push you into the pool and tell you to fuck right off at best, call the cops and have you arrested for two counts of trespassing at worst. But instead, all you can think about is the insistent press of his bulge between your legs, his broad shoulders hanging over your torso, his long fingers twisted around your hands. All of it renders your heart racing and your body motionless. You look up at him, unable to stop yourself from eye fucking him. Loungewear is a good look on him, gray sweatpants low on his waist and a tattered longhorns t-shirt. He has his reading glasses on, and fuck, if it doesn’t do something to you.
A tiny whimper slips out, and, naturally, that’s when Joel’s dark eyes flash with recognition.
Joel mutters your name, surprise thick in his tired voice. “What the hell are you doin’ in my backyard?” He goes back on his haunches and lets go of your hands. You rub at the sore spots he’d left in his wake.
You don’t answer, opting to look away to hide the shame that’s plain as day on your face. This was stupid. You’re so fucking stupid.
“Are you always tryna catch a charge?” Joel asks. He shakes his head at you, forehead wrinkling as he furrows his brows. All you can do is nod in response. “Un-fuckin’-believable.”
He finally lifts off of you, groaning as something in his back pops when he stands upright. He reaches down at you, and, stubbornly, you ignore his hand in favor of picking yourself up. You dust yourself off again, winching as you brush against a patch of skin that’s sure to bruise later.
“C’mon,” Joel says, nudging the back door open. You step inside and pause to wipe your shoes on the rug beyond the threshold.
The interior is also just as fancy as the Zillow photos had suggested. You find yourself in a lounge with a vaulted ceiling, surprised to find just how Joel the space is. There’s sports magazines on the coffee table and a half-empty longhorns tumbler filled with black coffee. The TV on the mantle of the fireplace is playing a rerun of a Dallas Cowboys game, surrounded by memorabilia like an unmarked high school football helmet, probably a souvenir from his varsity career.
“Now, what’s got your panties in a twist?”
“You didn’t answer my texts,” you say, albeit a little dumbly. You rub at one of your elbows to try to shake off the embarrassment.
Okay, aloud, it does sound just a teensy bit like an overreaction.
Joel blinks at you. Takes off his reading glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. Then, releases a long, winded sigh. “Shit – hun, I’m so sorry–”
“Save your sorries,” you spit back, suddenly angry of all things. Angry that he has you wrapped right around the same fingers that had been inside of you, angry that he hadn’t answered your calls, your texts, your voicemails, angry that he has the audacity to ask what happened. “All that talk about treating me right and you can’t even pick up the fucking phone. I’ll leave right now if you’re not interested, but the least you could do is let me know.” Your lower lip quivers.
He goes quiet, toeing at the ground. His hands land on his hips. “Darlin’–”
“He cheated on me and you trampled all over my emotional vulnerability so you could get your dick wet. How the fuck does that make you any better than the boys you promised to be better than? You’re just like them. Fucking your way through half of the campus and nothing to show for it.” You’re breathing heavily as your eyes burn more and more by the second. You keep thinking you’ll have more to say, but you don’t. Everything in your body feels like lead, and time moves like molasses. Only silence meets you. Of course, it’d end like this. You, humiliated, and him, held all but unaccountable for his actions.
You squeeze your eyes shut before turning around on your heel to leave the way you’d come. His hand, soft and guiding as opposed to the last time he’d touched you, wraps around your forearm. You plant your feet in the ground, but still don’t turn around to face him. “You’re right,” Joel says, voice acquiescent. “It wasn’t fair to you. But ‘s part of why I didn’t pick up. Ain’t right, you ‘n me. I took advantage of you. Practically coerced you.” You swallow, but it’s like swallowing needles. “You shoulda reported me the second you got back to your dorm. For… for violating you like that.” He damn near spits the word out like it’s poisonous. Violating.
If that’s what’s holding him back…
You shift, facing him. He scratches the back of his neck. His flush bleeds down to his chest. “Joel, the absolute last thing you did was violate me. I wanted it. Haven’t stopped fucking thinking about it. That’s why it hurt so bad when you left me hanging.” A frown pinches your lips. “You could’ve at least let me know, Joel.”
“You needa quit thinkin’ about it. Ain’t gonna do either of us any good.” He exhales. “Besides. Even if I wanted to reach out, I’ve been workin’ 17 hour days in prep for next week’s game. This is the first day I’ve had peace ‘n quiet since we…” He trails off, cheeks somehow reddening even more. 
“How often do you do that?” you can’t stop yourself from asking.
“Do what?” he asks, his own lips falling into a frown. He looks a little bit like a kicked puppy, being on the receiving end of your confrontation.
“Take girls half your age over your knee at the workplace. Let them call you ‘daddy’ while they squirm in your lap. Fuck them?”
He squeezes his eyes shut and hisses. You can almost see the memories flashing behind his eyelids. “Gotta stop talkin’ like that, hun.”
“No,” you say, voice quiet. “Really. How often?”
“Never,” he says, and he sounds sincere. “Been over a year since I was last with someone. Been a whole lot longer since it… felt that good.”
You take a step closer to him, tongue slipping out to lick your lips. “Felt good for me, too.”
He shakes his head, still denying what you’re laying out so plainly for him. “Just ‘cause it feels good don’t make it right.”
“Doesn’t it?” you ask. You cock your head, brows brought together and eyes round with want.
He takes a slow, unsteady breath. But he doesn’t step away.
“I’m an adult Joel.” You reach out to him. Again, he doesn’t step away. Your hand flattens against his shoulder.
“Not one of your brutish, sweaty players who only thinks in frat vocab.” You drag your palm down from his shoulder, across his chest, fluttering along his stomach.
His eyes close as your thumb snags the waistband of his sweatpants. Still, he doesn’t intervene. “I’m a grown woman with a future ahead of myself. It’s not in the handbook that you’re forbidden from engaging in this sort of thing with a student, so long as they’re not one of your players.”
“Yeah, yeah, I read the handbook, kid—”
When you palm at his bulge, he’s already hard.
You hitch a brow at him. A snide remark sits on your tongue.
“Shut the fuck up,” he grouses, and then shoves you back on his couch. Your impact knocks a tacky, tasseled throw pillow out of the way. You yank off the cap you stole from Lucas and toss it over your shoulder.
“Beggin’ for a dickin’ down,” he says. “Trespassing on my fucking property for it like some lunatic. That’s how bad you need this cock?”
You nod like you’ve forgotten how to do anything else. With how you act when you think of Joel, that’s… probably the case. “Joel, plea–”
He slaps you across the face. Your vision pixelates and your head rings, but the handprint blooming on your cheek translates to slick blooming in your panties. “Nuh uh,” he says. “You know my name, smartass.” You moan, hips jerking to meet his.
“Daddy,” you whine. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about.” It is. No silicone toy or plastic cock nestled in your bedroom drawer compared to the man in front of you — and you’d know. You tried them all.  
“Ain’t a surprise there,” Joel says. “Bet you’ve been rubbin’ yourself silly thinking of your daddy, mm?”
“Yes!” you damn near squeal out as Joel roughly palms at your tits. You get stuck in the labyrinth of your shirt as you fumble out of it, arms finding all the wrong holes. Finally, you toss the thoroughly wrinkled scrap of fabric over the couch. “Every day, sometimes more,” you admit, because it’s the embarrassing truth. When it comes to him, you’re loopy, off-kilter, teetering with desire and want.
“Dirty girl, aren’t you?” he says, unclasping your bra. He lures your arms out of the straps. His throat bobs as he eyes you up. Based on how you look in the reflection of his dark eyes, he’s been thinking of this. Because for all his virtuosity, Coach Miller crumbles at the thought of defiling you. And he damns himself for it.
He says, “Came allllll the way over here to get fucked in this little number. Why, ‘cause your fingers ain’t enough anymore? Buzzing buddies not doin’ it for ya? Can’t make yourself come without me, hm?” 
“No, no, I can’t—” you exhale at him, desperately arching your back to push your tits into his sports-calloused hands. He gives you nipples a squeeze and twist, and it’s electricity straight into your clit. Your squirm, legs kicking helplessly beneath him. “Daddy.”
He pouts at you. “Damn shame. Creamy, drippy little pussy like this…” You hadn’t noticed his hand lowering until he cups a hand around your clothed mound. Your hips jerk. “Bet she’s squeezing real good ‘round nothing, isn’t she? Wants to take daddy nice ‘n deep.”
“Please, daddy, I want you to fuck me,” you gasp out. Your head lolls back as his thumb presses over your clothed clit, the friction from your panties amplifying the sensation as he rubs you in tight, successive circles.
“Yeah, well that’s what you want. What you’ve earned is a belting. Hell, maybe even a paddling for a repeat offender like yourself. Gotta stop getting into scenarios where I needa spank you right. Clearly didn’t whack ya hard enough last time, girl.”
You pout at him, and he only rolls his eyes. “Really. First you had some revenge syndrome, and now you have dick disease. Have to make you earn it, sweetie. ‘Specially when you keep on diggin’ your own grave.”
“You spanked me last time we did this,” you mumble.
“Oh yeah? And I remember you leakin’ everywhere like a goddamn busted pipe. So shut your trap and bend over for me, mhm? I know this pussy likes when I’m rough with ‘er. Know you like it.”
You cross your arms. Consider leaving chin-up with your pride intact — not out of lack of interest, but out of stubbornness. But you can already feel your wetness smearing across your thighs. Not only did you come all this way hoping for this exact thing, but you can imagine just how uncomfortable the bike ride back to your dorm will be with the seat of your bike pressed into your crotch.
You bite the bullet and toss a pillow to the floor. You fold yourself over the couch.
It feels distinctly familiar and indistinctly unfamiliar. Just a few days ago, he’d hauled you over his knee for the same reason. Attraction lit like a match, and discipline served properly.
You hear Joel shimmying around in the vicinity and tilt your head to look at him. First, you’re captured by the broadness of him, how he can easily manhandle you with his stature. But it’s hard not to be distracted by how his house, for all of its grandeur, is little more than a fifty-year-olds bachelor pad.
The walls are mostly bare apart from the occasional art that looks like he snagged from Homegoods. Everything is so modern and brutalistic, all sharp-edged and cubed. “You need to hire an interior designer with that batshit crazy salary of yours,” you tell him.
He huffs out a half-laugh, and returns to your side with a belt he pulled from the table. You squint at the buckle. It’s a pewter longhorn. Of course. It’s like they have a longhorn fetish. They just can’t shake the obsession with the cattle.
“Gonna spank me with your livestock whip?” you snort. 
Joel stares you down, unimpressed. “You think you’re funny,” he says. He sits next to where your cheek rests on the couch and gently rubs a circle into your back. His face turns serious for a moment. “I know I didn’t verbally establish this last time — and that’s on me — but you can ask me to stop any time. I hope you know that.”
You give him what feels like a bit of a dopey look. “I know, daddy. I know my limits, too.”
“Attagirl,” he says, patting you on the back. He gives you a look, seeking permission, and you nod. He tugs your pants down. They slump to your folded knees. You tap your fingers against the soft material of the couch. Joel reaches over you and under the gusset of your panties, swiping a long, thick finger through your weeping cunt. Your hips rock, chasing the sensation, and as if reprimanding you, Joel gives a swift tug to the back of your panties, lodging them deep within your cheeks. You squeak in surprise and stop your squirming. He chuckles breathlessly above you.
“Still got this… calligraphy… ‘a mine all over your ass.” He traces his thumb along each letter of the trophy he’d left you. The w, the h, the o, the r, the e. When you left the stadium that night, it was with a reminder of exactly what Joel thinks of you. “‘S like you’re tryna make it last, mmm? You like knowing you’re my whore?” 
A tiny whimper splits from your mouth, forehead tilting into the crook of your shoulder as to hide your face. You manage a nod.
“Nuh uh,” Joel says. He reaches for your wrists and pins them behind your back. “Thought you’d knew better than to be repeatin’ the same song and dance. I know you can behave, slutty girl. Just gotta give you a nudge in the right direction.” He palms your ass cheek the same way he’d palmed your tit, and a chill travels along your skin at the perceived feeling of him being so close to your cunt.
He’d ravaged and ruined you, and you walked right back in to let him do it all over again.
Joel folds the belt in half, the gaudy buckle clanking as he turns his day-to-day belt into the perfect implement to administer your punishment. You muffle one of your noises as he drags the leather along your skin, raising gooseflesh in his trail. You can tell he’s tracing the letters, stretched and faded to near-obscurity, along your ass.
You expect him to bring it down across your ass, but instead, he teases it between your legs. Your breath stumbles over your teeth as the leather streaks along your clothed clit. Your hips chase the passing sensation, and the bastard snorts at you. In spite of Joel’s grasp around your wrists, your fingers twirl in anticipation.
“Pathetic ‘lil pussy. Dripping and squeezing even if you’ve got a thrashing comin’ up. Maybe it’s because you’ve got a thrashing coming up. Masochistic mess over here.”
You scoff, “Yeah, and a hot mess, if ‘Lil Joel is any indicator.”
The first hit takes you by surprise. Leather erupts across your ass cheeks, and your fingers scramble for purchase — impossible to find, with how Joel grips your wrists. You make a surprised noise, head tipping to knock your forehead into his thigh. “Shit, were you the quarterback? Packing a punch this time, Coa— mmph.” Your trailing, pathetic sound is muffled by the abrupt splat of his belt back on your exposed ass.
“Had enough ‘a your sass, baby. Can’t be giving me lip when your other set is salivatin’ all over my floor.”
You grunt, squeezing your eyes shut so you don’t glare at him. Dick. Fever licks up your spine. It wraps around your neck, making you lightheaded and nebulous with want. Arousal leaks down your inner thighs. When you press them together in hopes for relief and that Joel’s old man eyes will sabotage him, you’re not shocked by the next thwack of leather against your skin. It still makes you jolt.
“Not gettin’ away with that, sweetheart. Better not see ya ruttin’ against this couch either. Already had to scrub down the one in the locker room since you sprayed your pussy juices all over it like a sprinkler.”
“Yes, daddy,” you grumble. He raises a brow at you, face stern and hard.
You make up for it not verbally, but by arching your back and wiggling your hips. A willing participant in your own demise. It’s only a matter of time before the anaphora of Joel’s belt whacking against your ass has you keening for his cock. You’ve already begged for it every night this week — just with your own hand fishing between your legs for an orgasm you can’t seem to catch, and with his name glued to your pillowcase with your drool.  
“See? That’s more like it.” You press back into him as his hand lets go of your wrists. It’s a brief respite, and you cling to the edge of the couch as his hand traces down your back, cupping your ass. Your eyes roll back as his finger slips past your panties and prods at your entrance, barely half of a knuckle.
“Daddy,” you pout.
“Sweet… as…” You look up through lidded eyes at him. Watch as your slick stretches hammocks between his fingers. Watch him slide them into his mouth, sucking them clean with an audible pop. You cunt clenches, demanding something that he doesn’t seem eager to dish out. “sugar.” he finishes. His fingers glisten.
“Daddy,” you say again. Needier this time. Longing. Wanting.
“Bet you could come untouched from this shit, couldn’t ya?”
The thought makes you shiver, but you shake your head back and forth fast enough to give you whiplash. You want — need him to touch you.
“Aww, poor little thing wants to come?” he all but coos at you. This time, you nod fast enough to take your own head off. “Too bad.”
You squeal as he brings the belt down again, toes wriggling as if they can run away from how electrified your body is. “W-what?” you choke out.  
“You want daddy to let you come?”
Your hands fist into the couch cushion. “The fuck do you think?”
You don’t even see him move before you feel the belt, ripping like lightning along your inflamed skin. “After you snuck into my stadium?”
“After you vandalized one ‘a our new uniforms?”
You’ve tensed this time in preparation, but it’s not enough. The next swing of his arm has you crying out. Your pussy clenches and more wetness gushes from you. “Ungh, Daddy!”
“After you came snoopin’ around like the Pink Panther?” Two lashings, for that. Both in rapid succession, crackling flames along your hypersensitive skin. You don’t even have time to give him snark. You wail, and half of it jerks out of you in a ragged moan.
He’s too quick at giving your ass another lash. “After being a cock hungry temptress who’d do anything to get that drippy ‘lil hole between her legs stuffed?”
If you were sore after your first encounter with the man, you fear for your capability to sit after this one. “I’m sorry!” You sniffle a little, and while your eyes may be watering, you squeeze your eyes shut so not to cry. It’s embarrassing enough to be laid out in front of him like this, quivering with juices weeping down your legs.
“Cute,” Joel snorts. “Sorry for what, exactly? Bet you got a laundry list of misdeeds. Risqué little girl like you, so quick to put her ass up in the air and take a beating insteada owin’ up to her mistakes.”
“I’m sorry,” you gasp out. “F-For breaking in.” You frown. “...Twice.”
“Coulda had you in the slammer by now, girl. But no. You just want me, dontcha? All up in your guts…” He grabs your ass cheek and squeezes, kneading the flesh there and leaving it with a shrill slap. You whimper. “Whallopin’ this pretty little peach. Sortin’ you out. Bein’ your daddy.” He grips the inside of your thigh, nudging your legs further apart. His hand, large and ridged with callouses, travels up your knee, over your thigh, down to your core. You shudder.
“Daddy…” you plead. You tilt your head and look up at him properly. How he looms over you, his free hand wrapped around your opposite shoulder so he can hold your side against his thigh. A tiny smirk quirks his lips, and his nose crinkles. There’s a glint of mischief in his dark eyes. “Please.” Your voice comes out as a lust-thickened whisper, bittersweet like molasses.
You think he might throw you a bone. Might thrust a finger or two into your dripping heat, which throbs and has a heartbeat of its own whenever he’s around. Instead, he slaps your mound. Your clit twitches, and you stream slick onto his hand. “Ah! Daddy!”
“Drippin’ like a busted pipe, baby. All from bein’ tossed around a bit.”
You’re floating, now. Or perhaps a more apt way to describe it would be that you’re firmly planted on the ground — just facedown while the room spins and spins and spins.
“Honestly, I didn’t know this elite university admitted little sluts like yourself. Bet you hold yourself all prim and proper while you’re all academic during the day. Then you get home and, what, rub yourself silly? Spank yourself because you know you deserve it? You wanna get split open on this cock, roughed up, talked down to.”
“I do, Daddy, I do!” you whine. “I told you — I’m sorry! For all of it. Please, I want whatever you’ll give me. A-Anything.” You feel as if your bones are matches, each one lit up in a chain reaction all the way to your core, which melts and melts down the insides of your thighs. “I’ll do—”
“Anything, baby?”
You nod eagerly, your moistened lower lip jutting out.
“Alright, alright,” he says. His voice is calmer now. Steady. He pats you on the ass softer this time and taps the couch next to him. You scramble up on the cushions, kicking off your shoes and pants in the process, and lay back. Your fingers twitch with the desire to just touch him. From this angle, you can see the definition of his bulge in his sweats. You remember how all of him felt inside of you, as if your entire body had to reshape itself around him, had to make room for the amount of space he occupies. He tosses his belt onto the coffee table.
Your cunt is a kickdrum between your legs. Juices dribble down the creases of your thighs, and for a moment, you fear that you’re actually ruining another couch of his. If you are, he doesn’t say. Just hitches his waistbands down and —
You audibly moan.
“Slutty ‘lil whore,” he says as he takes his fat cock in hand. Precum beads at the tip, and you find yourself licking your lips. You salivate at the sight of him. The heavy balls hanging low beneath his cock, his girth, and the taut, tan skin of his thighs. He’s enrapturing.
“You’re cute, baby,” he says, but the words are condescending. That’s probably why it makes you drip. “You look real good with them ‘fuck me daddy’ eyes. Maybe they’re jus’ that glossy ‘cause your ass is still stingin’. But you deserve it, dontcha? For wanting it?”
“Yes sir…” His eyes flash with something narrowly close to possession. Your teeth dig into your lower lip. With his free hand, he reaches up to your lips, pulling down your bottom lip and running his tongue along the seam of it. You take it upon yourself to suckle on his thumb, tongue swirling around the rough pad of his fingertip. Your tiny moan buzzes around the digit. “Mmph.”
Joel’s eyes, dark and dilated, trail up your exposed form. “I’d shove my cock down that tight throat of yours, but you ain’t earned it.” His hand drags down your chest, tugging and groping at bare skin. His wet thumb plucks at your nipple. Your hips hitch, grinding against thin air. Joel tuts. “Thought I whipped some sense into ya. Or some goddamn manners, at least.” His hand leaves your chest and pins one of your thighs to the couch. You squirm.
“Daddy,” you mewl. “I need – something.”
“Daddy,” Joel mocks in a high-pitched, imitated whine of your plea. “You stay right still. You’re fortunate enough I’m letting you watch.”
It’s then that you realize what he’s planning to do. Deprive you by jerking himself off all over you.
“No, no, please– I promise I’ll be good! I’ll be good, please, I n-need your co–”
Joel slaps you across the face. Again. This time, it’s harder, enough for your head to roll to the side and your eyes to roll back. Your cunt throbs. Your hearing clangs like windchimes. “Do not whine at me like a petulant child. You’re a damn lucky duck that I ain’t knocked you on your ass for all the shit you been pullin’. So you’ll sit there, and if I see you raise so much as a fuckin’ hair on your head to touch yourself, I ain’t afraid to spank that pussy raw, too. Bet you wouldn’t be touchin’ it if it was all sore and achy.”
You look down and give a small, half-nod.
“Go on. Be a good girl and ask for it,” Joel says, brow hitched. Self-righteous bastard.
You mumble something faintly under your breath.
“Wanna repeat that, baby?”
“Jerk your cock off on my pussy, daddy,” you whimper out, hips still squirming on the couch.
“Mmm, that’s more like it.”
Joel taps his cock against your clothed clit. A warning, almost. “Ngh, daddy, I–”
“Don’t start,” he scowls and inches back a bit. Then, he wraps his hand around his cock and gives himself a languid pump. He groans, eyes going lidded as he starts up at a steady pace. 
“I was going to say… I want you to come on me.” You take heavy, labored breaths, matching the rapid rise and fall of Joel’s chest. Sweat is darkening the creases of his shirt as he works himself. 
“Yeah? Ain’t a surprise, there. Filthy slut wants daddy’s come all over her pussy? Gonna walk back to your dorm with it dryin’ on your undies?” You’ll make fun of him for that later. But now, all you can do is nod at him. “Or maybe I’ll stuff ‘em in your smart mouth. See how ya feel when you can taste how much of a whore you are.”
You gasp, back arching even though there’s no pleasure for you to chase. He gets off on this. On denying you. Degrading you. It’s a high like nothing else. “Please, I– I want you to stuff them in my mouth–”
Joel hisses. You see his cock twitch in his fist. “Make you walk home all leaky and wanting, just like a hussy should? For all those fits you’ve been pitchin’?” He grunts as his hips roll to meet each wet thrust of his fist. His lips are parted, head hung while he stares at your soaked pussy. How your panties cling to your folds. He moans, thumb brushing over his tip. More precum drips from the head, trailing down his wrist. His back curves inwards as he leans closer to you.
He squeezes the hand he’s got wrapped around your leg. “Daddy, daddy!” He’s close, you can tell. Each breath he takes is short and rasping. Each thrust gets clumsier. You think you could come from this alone. The image of him, huffing and red-faced while he fucks his fist right in front of you and calls you names. “Come on me, please, I want to be covered in you–”
He moans, and his cock jolts in his tight grip. “I’m comin’, baby, I’m comin’.”
Ropes of his cum sprays on the gusset of your panties, once, twice, but before the third spirit, he wraps his hand through the leg holes of your panties and tugs up. You make a choked, frazzled moan, and maybe it’s the way the fabric pinches your clit, maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you as if you were made to be devoured. Maybe it’s just how pent up you are.
You tense and then shatter in one go, your orgasm gushing into your panties. Seizing, your back arches up off of the couch as one of your palms clambers for purchase over his. “Fuck, daddy,” you moan pathetically, hips thudding against the couch while you rock into the taut fabric. You fall back, limp and reeling. 
“Fuck,” Joel says, breathless. He stares at where your white-stained panties steep in your convulsing cunt, how more juice seeps out of them with each clench of your wrecked pussy. He wipes the sweat from his forehead with the back of his palm. “Really are a nasty girl. A little pain slut, aren’t ya baby?” His eyes glitter while he looks at you, and you imagine he must be close enough to getting hard again that he can’t come through on his promises of anger.
“Roll over for me,” he says, tapping your thigh. 
“Mmph?” You say, arm thrown over your forehead. Your eyes squeeze shut while the aftershocks hurdle through your muscles. “Oh, yeah.” You fumble, and your sweat-slick skin sticks to the couch as you turn yourself over. 
You hear a little pop, and can’t help but look over your shoulder. Of course. A Sharpie. This time, it’s gold.
“Gonna get a reputation, Miller,” you smirk at him, kicking your feet while he situates himself between your knees. He tugs your soiled panties off, and, as promised, guides the gusset to your mouth. You suck on it, eyes fluttering as you savor the conjoined musk of your mingling juices. It’s tart, but a little sweet. You feel the marker tugging at your ass, and hiss a little when he traces over a particularly sore spot.
“Yeah, well you already got one. I’m just makin’ sure you don’t forget.” He gives your ass another smack when he’s done, and you squeak. The couch stops slumping, and he pads across the room.
You stay there, head rested into your elbows and panties hanging out of your mouth while he rummages around in the vicinity. He comes back with some aloe gel. Gentle, he removes your panties from your tongue and tosses them on the table. You lick your lips, giving him a knowing look. He only rolls his eyes as he massages it into your bruised skin.
“Went a little hard on you this time, darlin’,” he says after a few moments of comfortable silence.
“I liked it,” you say.
“Yeah, I noticed.” He pats you dry. “If you got any ice packs back in your minifridge, wait a while before you ice that. Gotta let the skin repair for a day or so.”
“Aye-aye,” you say before rolling over to face him again. He’s tugged his sweats back on, but he’s golden with a post-sex glaze, a glow of sweat and contentedness. 
“‘M sorry,” he says again.
Your brows pucker. “I already told you, I lik-”
“No, for how I treated ya. Ain’t right to promise you somethin’ I can���t give ya.”
“You just gave it to me. Quite well, might I add,” you tease with a cloying grin.
“I can’t take you out,” he says. Your grin slips. He drags a hand down his face. “Everyone in this fuckin’ state, everyone in the goddamn south, even, knows who I am. Imagine the shit they’d say. Lucas–”
“Is a dick,” you say.
“Is a dick, but is also my kid. My mentee. The future of this team and my career, too. And even though he might be an asshole, he’s a good throw. Not to mention the three decades b’tween us. Not a good look, ‘specially for you. You got a whole world ahead ‘a ya. I can’t take that from you just ‘cause we have good sex.”
“So let’s just keep having good sex,” you say. “It’s the simplest thing in the world.”
“Yeah,” Joel says with a roll of his eyes. “Simple.” But then he seems to look like he’s thinking about it. Properly. He swallows. Crosses his arms over his broad chest. “Fine.”
“Really?” You say, brows raised. You’re surprised that worked.
“Want me to take it back?”
“No,” you say.
He simpers. “Thought so. Now c’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.” He beckons you down the hallway after him, and you scoop your long-abandoned clothes off the floor. 
A smarter version of yourself would agree with him. But this version of yourself, the version that hopped his fence tonight, wants nothing more than to run back to the throttle of his hand and the loosening of his belt.
That version of yourself is the one who follows him down the hall.
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safination · 3 months ago
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You, Me, and These Idiots
|Masterlist|
Pairings: Alastor x Wife!Reader Warnings: None TLDR: It’s cold, and Alastor has blankets to spare. My entry for @voxtekinc Week 1: I’m surrounded by Idiots. This took me like 45 minutes to write. Don't expect much GAHAHA. I'm trying my best <3
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Alastor snaps his fingers. A blanker appears out of the air, landing on his arm. It’s just a blanket, a plain and simple blanket. Yet he knows that this thinner piece of fabric would be useless against the cool blow of that newly installed air-conditioning unit. Still, a blanket is a blanket.
You watch him, legs splayed out and snuggled up on the couch. “That looks fun.”
A quick roll of his eyes, and you throw a pillow at him.
“Yes yes,” he says, taking a step to the side. The blanket unfurls, and Alastor places it around Vaggie’s sleeping body. “All fun and games, indeed, yet when one of them gets sick because of the cold, and passes it around, it will be my job to accommodate their health.”
It’s how he says, ‘them’. It’s as if you won’t get sick either. Or was it that he would make sure you wouldn’t get sick?
“How thoughtful.”
Alastor laughs, his eyes bulging out in different directions. Still, it’s quite a hushed laughter. “I am quite the thoughtful creature,” he tells you. “I don’t see why anyone would say otherwise.”
The next few minutes go a little bit like this:
Charlie’s legs stick out, and press on Vaggie’s body in a way that looks like it would hurt. Alastor tucks in Charlie’s legs closer to herself, curling her closer to Vaggie. He pulls on the blanket around her, and wraps it around Charlie as well. It’s cute to see them snuggled up with their limbs bundled up together.
Niffty gets her own blanket. There’s a distinct thickness that the pervious one doesn’t possess. You know better than to mention it.
Lucifer doesn’t get a blanket.
Another snap of his fingers, and Husk and Angel Dust get their own blankets. Alastor doesn’t bother wrapping them. It appears into the air, and float down to their bodies. Their legs stick out, and half of it is already falling off. So, with a sigh, you tuck in the boys yourself.
Alastor summons another blanket.
 A pause.
And then another pause.
He looks around, and his eyes glaze over the sleeping figures, mentally counting each one. It’s in the way his eyebrows twitch a bit. It’s how you know something in his mind isn’t adding up. His eyes land of Sir Pentious’ painting, and you see the way he instantly understands.
Still, it would be a waste of a perfectly (albeit, thinning) blanket. So, you take it from him, pressing a kiss on the edge of his lips, and drop it on top of Lucifer.
It’s just you without a blanket now. You sit back on the couch, eager to see what he would do.
 Alastor takes his seat next to you, and pulls a blanket around your shoulders.
With a laugh, you grab the other end, and place it around his shoulder, pulling Alastor closer to you. Only now, does the room get warmer. Out of all the blankets Alastor snapped into thin air, this one is the thickets. It’s soft with a light fur texturing it.
Alastor glances around the hotel living-room, leaning his head on top of yours. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”
“I think,” you begin, bopping his nose, “that you’re forgetting that I am here, currently next to you.”
“And how is that any better?”
“If there are going to be idiots, at least we’re going to be surrounded.” You grab his hand, playing with the tips of his fingers before intertwining them. “Even among idiots, where there will be a you, there will also be me.”
Alastor crashes his weight into you, pressing his body closer with a laugh.
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umgeorge · 1 month ago
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Press con questions that weren't shown:
Q: (Jenna Fryer – Associated Press) George, were you guys blindsided by this or have any idea that it was coming or under consideration, that a change in Race Director was coming? GR: No, no idea whatsoever. So, yeah, as I said, it was a bit of a bit of surprise.
Q: (Luke Smith – The Athletic) George, has there been any response from the FIA or the FIA president to what the GPDA put out? GR: No. Not at the moment, which I'm a little bit surprised about, to be fair. But maybe there'll be something to come. Who knows?
Q: (Ben Hunt – Autosport) It's obviously very disappointing to learn from you that there's no transparency at all from the FIA. Was there any response about where the money's going from for all these fines and all that sort of stuff? Because that's another key element which we would quite like to know as well. GR: No, I think ultimately for us, when we were hearing from the FIA a couple of years ago, when it came to the Presidential elections, they were talking about transparency, talking about where the money is going to be reinvested into grassroots racing, which we're all in favour for. And of course, when it comes to some of these large fines, there's a number of drivers on the grid who can comfortably afford these fines. There's maybe some rookies on the grid that if they're handed a $1 million fine, you know, they can't afford this. But if we know where that's being sort of reinvested and if it's going into grassroots or into some training programs, then we get it. As I said, I think we just want the transparency and understanding of what was promised from the beginning.
Q: (Kevin Scheuren – Motorsport-total.com) A question to George as well on that topic. Isn't it a bad sign that you need to open up a social media account to make your voices heard as a collective? Because it sometimes seems, looking from the outside, that the individual, if the individual has an opinion on stuff, he faces repercussions. Now you have to work as a collective. Are you more or less a pawn in this game? Do you drivers feel sometimes more or less as a pawn in this game, not taken serious? GR: I think we've probably learned from the past that whenever we have spoken up, let's say internally, it hasn't gone anywhere. And as I said, as drivers, we only want the best for the sport. We want to improve it, especially on safety grounds, but whenever it comes to, you know, decisions in the race, we only want to help. And it's been a couple of years now that not much has changed when we have sort of given some views forward. And I guess we all wanted to show that we are collectively united. And maybe that will show how seriously we feel as a whole on the subject.
Q: (Andrew Benson – BBC Sport) George, it's been seven years since the GPDA had put out a public statement of this kind about something they were concerned about. What level of confidence do the drivers have in the leadership of the FIA at the moment? GR: I mean, I'm not too sure to be honest. We recognise everybody's working as hard as they can to do the best job possible. There is obviously a huge amount of change within the FIA quite regularly, so it's clearly not the most stable of places. And maybe that's why it's been a bit challenging to get some of the changes that we've wanted implemented. Of course, everyone has their own side to their own story. But as I said, I think if we feel that we're being listened to and some of the changes that we are experiencing, requesting, are implemented, because ultimately we're only doing it for the benefit of the sport, then maybe our confidence will increase. But yeah, I think there's a number of drivers who feel probably a bit fed up with the whole situation. And it only seems to be going in, to a degree, the wrong direction.
Q: (Jordan Bianchi – The Athletic) For all three drivers: you returned to Vegas this year. A year ago, there was a lot of hype and excitement about this race. I'm curious, now that you come back here for a second time, what's the atmosphere like that you guys have kind of experienced so far? Kevin, let's start with you.
GR: Yeah, I mean, it definitely feels strange, this Grand Prix, just living in the night. And like Kevin says, the atmosphere builds up during the course of the weekend. So, yeah, let's see how it goes.
Q: (Anna Cordera – Momentum Racing) George, I'd like to ask you, you've been racing with Lewis for almost three years. What do you think is going to be different now you being the veteran of the team racing with Kimi, regarding the development of the car? GR: Yeah, I mean, ultimately, for most F1 teams, you have near on 1,000 people who are working towards building these two cars, yet you only have two drivers driving it. So, I think, let's say, in Lewis, in my case, it was never that Lewis had a stronger voice. The team listened to us both equally because both of our opinions were extremely important. And the same going into next year. You know, Kimi's new. He's fresh. And I'm sure he's going to have a lot of great ideas to bring to the table. So, you know, I am the more experienced of the two, but we will both get equal voices the same way, and we will both equally contribute towards the development the same way as it was with Lewis and I.
Q: (Ian Parkes – New York Times) Sorry, another question to you, George. George, is it that difficult to try and get a sit-down face-to-face meeting with the President of the FIA to discuss all these issues, that you have to go down the route that you did with that message? GR: It's definitely not difficult to get a sit down, but I think getting things to change or getting promises upheld seems slightly more challenging. So, it's maybe the FIA or the president didn't recognise how seriously we all felt. So I think that's why over the course of 20 races this year and also even last year we spoke about a number of topics, all of the drivers, we all feel pretty similar. We all know what we want from the sport and the direction it's been heading and we probably feel that we want to do a small U-turn on a number of topics and just want to work together with the FIA on this. And that's just what we've felt has not been happening at all, at least directly from the President.
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spiderb00 · 2 months ago
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I'm live - Sophia Laforteza
Sophia Laforteza X reader 
Synopsis: Being a streamer is fun, even more fun if your girlfriend shows up by surprise on your live. 
Genre: Fluff 
a/n: I had this idea while I was watching Tinakitten's live on Twitch, I love her, she's my favorite streamer 
English is not my first language so maybe I messed up a little and blablabla. <3 
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Streaming on Twitch has always been very relaxing for me, just playing and connecting with people felt very enjoyable. I never imagined how big this would all become, when I started it was just for fun and now I have just over two thousand people watching me every time I turn on the camera. All of this has given me amazing experiences, including meeting my beautiful girlfriend, Sophia Laforteza.   
I met Sophia at a concert, specifically backstage at Olivia Rodrigo's concert, we talked a little and discovered many things in common. After a lot of talking we ended up exchanging phone numbers, going on dates, and before I knew it I was acting like a teenager with they first crush. 
At first we were very afraid that it wouldn't work. Sophia has tight schedules and seems to be everywhere all the time, but we quickly managed to unite our schedules and make everything fit perfectly 
We hadn't made our relationship public yet, so no one knew we were dating, except of course, our families and the Katz's. What happens is that a few days ago my chat noticed that there was a female voice speaking a little loudly in the middle of the live, which earned me several spams and donations where people asked who was with me at home and why I didn't show them on the live, given that all my friends had already appeared on camera at some point. 
Even though I said it was just a friend and trying my best to shift the focus to something else, my chat didn't seem to be very convinced, they were always making jokes about the "mysterious girl" in my kitchen, like at this very moment.  
"Chat, can't you just forget about it?" I said as I leaned back in my chair, resting my arms above my head to be more comfortable as I waited for all my friends to join the strange game that Foolish forced us to play. 
"What are you talking about dummy?" Tina, my friend, said when she heard me grumble about the chat.  
"The chat just being mean to me!" I said while making a sad voice, only to break laughing at the comments.   
Superglue2000 - We're Not Being Mean, We're Snooping 😊  
Bealovesyn – I'm trying to know who my wife is cheating on me with!!!
Cowboybibi – why did we never consider that it could be the voice of Tina? Yn and her seem very close... :/   
"Chat, what? Why are they putting Tina in this?" I said while laughing nervously.   
"Uh? Putting myself in what?" Tina said, her voice confused, she also seemed nervous about the situation. Tina and I are friends, neither of us wants things to get weird because of some speculation.   
"Guys, stop spamming Tina. She's never been in my kitchen." I said laughing, trying to give off an air of confidence, but I honestly think I was failing miserably.   
"Oh, that's crazy." Tina said laughing, I think she had already understood what was going on, she knew she wasn't involved in anything, so she had no reason to be afraid. 
Before I could say anything else, the door to my studio was opened, and there she was, in all her glory, my beautiful girlfriend, Sophia Laforteza.   
"Hey baby, I just arrived, I bought pizza on the way, do you want me to bring it to you?"  
Completely paralyzed, that's how I was. Without arguments and without knowing how to elaborate a word if you want. My only reaction was to whisper; 
"Baby, I'm live!"   
"I know beautiful, that's why I came here to ask if you want to eat, you've been there for a long time." Now, listen to me, despite the friendly tone, I know my Sophia, okay, I know my girl, and something's not right.  
"So yes, that's fine, thanks for asking."  
For the first time I had the courage to look at the chat.   
Spidermanmasc – Bro, you literally got a girlfriend, you dumped the losing nerds 
Cutekate – OMG, YOU REALLY HAVE SOMEONE! SHOW HER ON CAMERA!!  
Superglue2000 - Don't be shy miss, come and say hello...   
Eyekonswinning – this sounds crazy, but it sounds a lot like Sophia's voice??? 
"Well, now they're asking you to say hello..."  
Before I could complete my sentence and tell her that she didn't have to do it if she didn't want to, Sophia was already on my lap, appearing gracefully in the camera frame.   
"Hi guys, my name is Sophia, I'm Yn's girlfriend." The smile on her face seemed immense, I was completely paralyzed.   
Macaronechease – OMG, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!  
Eyekonswinning – WHAT??? I KNEW THE VOICE WAS SIMILAR, BUT WHAT'S IT???? (You guys are very cute btw.)  
Superglue2000 – Your girlfriend is simply the leader of Katseye???
Spidermanmasc – like, and I say HOW DID YOU PULL THIS GIRL??? 
"Hey, what are you saying? I know my girlfriend is amazing, but you don't have to humiliate me." I said smiling. As unusual as all of this was, I was very happy with the positive comments.  
"Well, how about I go get the pizza and come see you play?" Sophia said as she looked at me, giving a quick kiss on my cheek before getting up and heading towards the kitchen.   
"Well... That was epic." Tina spoke, for a minute I forgot I was on the call.   
"Dude, how did you pull her???" It's literally the first sentence Foolish said on live.   
"Dude, shut up and let's play." 
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After the live is over, Sophia and I are on the couch, relaxing.   
"So I love that we're public now, but I have to ask. Why did you decide to do this so unexpectedly?"  
"Because I love you, and I want everyone to know it..." She said as she gave me a long kiss.  
"And you're mine, no one will ship you with anyone other than me." she says grabbing my face with those huge nails.   
This woman is the death of me. 
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carriesthewind · 2 years ago
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The IA's "Open Library" is Not a Library, Yesterday's Lower Court Decision does Not "Hurt Authors," and the Planned Appeal Is (Almost Certainly) NOT a Good Way to Try to Change Bad Law (In Fact, It's More Likely to Make Bad Law Worse)
Ok, so a day later, I'm still mad about this. If anything, I'm even madder. I'm going to write this as a response to the Internet Archive's "The Fight Continues" blogpost, but before we begin, let's get some facts straight:
Copyright law in the United States, especially the law around digital lending, currently sucks. It's really really bad, and anyone with a stake in the game - except the big publishers and e-book services that profit from it - hate it.
That said, copyright law exists as a thing. As I said in a previous post, you *can* try to change it through court cases, but there are certain things you cannot change. And there are certain things you can try to change, but it will be an uphill battle to change them in a positive direction. And notably, as bad as digital lending law is in the U.S., it still could always get worse! And one general rule of impact litigation: if you are trying to change the law, you want to make sure you have the best possible facts. Because the worse your facts are, the worse your case is likely to go.
Yesterday's district court ruling DID NOT CHANGE ANY SUBSTANTIVE COPYRIGHT LAW IN THE U.S. I cannot emphasize that enough. Regardless of whatever you think of the ruling, it was applying already existing law to the facts.
This is because the Internet Archive's "Open Library" absolutely violates existing copyright law. It just does! They broke the law, they had plenty of notice they were breaking the law and harming authors (more on that below) and just think the law shouldn't apply because they don't like it.
The Internet Archive's "Open Library" is not a library. Some big ways it differs:
While it pretends to have a one-to-one owned-to-loaned ratio, as the opinion granting the publisher's motion for summary judgement notes, IA concedes that it allows "partner libraries" to add books to its collection and then doesn't check (and has no way of checking) if the book is out of circulation at the "partner library" at the same time it's being "checked out" of the Open Library. In other words, it's like if you took a book, scanned the pages, and then gave the scans to your friend who then loaned the scans out to other people but totally promised they were only lending the scans to one person at a time so it's basically like there is still just one copy! And meanwhile you still own, are reading, and lending out the physical copy of the book. Except instead of one book, they were doing this on a massive scale. NO, THAT'S JUST THEFT.*
Speaking of which, the "Open Library" didn't keep that promise! Their "Emergency Library" just let everyone borrow as many copies at a time as they could! Again, THAT'S JUST THEFT.
Like I'm sorry if you don't like the idea of copyright at all: right now, we live in a capitalist system where authors need to be paid for their work in order to, like, not die. If you take their work, scan it into your computer, and give it away for free to anyone and everyone, THAT'S JUST THEFT.
Also, most authors love libraries! Libraries allow more people to access their books while not substantially impacting their revenue and not impacting their rights! AUTHORS - not just publishers, authors - DO NOT LIKE AI'S "OPEN LIBRARY." Why haven't authors sued to stop this before, why is this the publishers suing? From the above letter: "Even simple copyright lawsuits must be brought in federal court, and often cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. A challenge to the Internet Archive could easily cost millions." Publishers have deep pockets that authors and authors' groups don't. Also, authors who object to AI stealing their work are frequently subject to harassment.
If IA won this case, the new law that would be made is this: it would be legal to steal an author's works.
*I'm using "theft" and "steal" instead of "piracy" throughout this write-up to make it clear what this is. "Pirating books" is just stealing them.
So to sum up the facts above: copyright law in the U.S. sucks, but it exists. Attempting to change it for the better through the court system would be very difficult. Even then, changing the law for the better would likely require a case with good facts. Unfortunately, the law could also change for the worse. Yesterday's ruling did not change any law. The facts in this case are very bad, because the IA absolutely violated copyright law. That is in part because the IA's "Open Library" is not a library; they just steal books. Many (if not most) authors and author's groups don't like that IA is stealing from them. If IA won this case, that victory would mean that anyone was allowed to steal an author's works.
*deep breath*
Ok, let's turn to the IA's statement, "The Fight Continues":
"Today’s lower court decision in Hachette v. Internet Archive is a blow to all libraries and the communities we serve."
The Internet Archive is not a library.
No it's not. It is a blow to the Internet Archive, specifically, because you broke the law and it ruled you broke the law. As stated above, it does not change anything with regard to copyright, including digital copyright, law in the U.S., and therefore does not impact libraries or the communities they serve. If you appeal this ruling, as you have stated you intend to, and the law does change for the worse (which is always a risk of appeal, and a risk that gets worse when you have bad facts), THEN libraries might be affected.
"This decision impacts libraries across the US who rely on controlled digital lending to connect their patrons with books online."
I mean yes, in the sense that "controlled digital lending" isn't normal e-book lending. It's the thing you made up where you steal books and illegally redistribute them.
This genuinely sucks for libraries and communities that don't have other ways of accessing digital books because the current copyright scheme sucks so bad! Real libraries are doing things to try to help, and not just steal from authors! More on that below!
"It hurts authors by saying that unfair licensing models are the only way their books can be read online."
OH GO FUCK YOURSELVES
Ok this line, this line right here? That is honestly why I wrote this whole thing.
How DARE you cloak your theft in the real struggles authors face with unfair licensing models. How DARE you pretend you are on the side of authors when you are stealing their works, and they have made it quite clear that they would like you to stop, please. And how DARE you frame it in this "for exposure" bullcrap that ignores the real struggles that authors have to eat, to get healthcare, to get any sort of fair pay and wages for their work, and instead pretend that all authors should care about is whether or not their books can be read online.
And bluntly? If you - not IA, YOU, tumblr user reading this - if you shared this bullcrap statement and told people to donate money to the IA because of this? If you told people they should steal more books in response (because it's the publishers fault, ignore the real authors who are actually harmed)? How DARE you. How DARE you pretend to be on the side of authors and writers.
"And it holds back access to information in the digital age, harming all readers, everywhere."
Except for those readers who are also authors, and need to eat.
And readers who want to read books that will never get written if authors can't write (because they need to eat).
And also, no it doesn't, because it doesn't change the law. It just applies the law that already exists to you. Because you are not above the law.
"But it’s not over—we will keep fighting for the traditional right of libraries to own, lend, and preserve books."
You are not a library.
You were not (and are not) fighting for "the traditional right of libraries." Plenty of other organizations are fighting against bad copyright law in the U.S. This court case, however, was literally just about you stealing books.
Like I cannot emphasize enough that you were just stealing and you got caught.
"We will be appealing the judgment and encourage everyone to come together as a community to support libraries against this attack by corporate publishers."
You aren't a library.
Fuck you for borrowing the (justified) hatred of corporate publishers to paper over your bad actions.
Does "coming together as a community to support libraries against this attack" mean giving you money, as suggested by the calls to action at the bottom of this page? Because you aren't a library.
"We will continue our work as a library."
You aren't a library.
"This case does not challenge many of the services we provide with digitized books including interlibrary loan, citation linking, access for the print-disabled, text and data mining, purchasing ebooks, and ongoing donation and preservation of books."
First, and most important: these are all uncritically good and important things that the IA does! Despite the rest of this post, I am really really glad the IA exists, that it is doing these things, and I hope that it will continue to do this things!
You are correct that this case does not challenge those services! Because those services aren't just stealing books from authors, which is what you were doing, which is what this case is actually about!
I'm skipping the statement from Brewster Kahle because it's just more of the same. The statement then invites you to Take Action! by donating to IA and positing themselves as standing up for libraries! (They are not a library.)
But real libraries and librarians are actually fighting the good fight over lack of access to materials, especially digital materials and bad laws, and you can support them!
If you actually do want to "come together as a community to support libraries," and support digital access, may I suggest instead donating to The Brooklyn Public Library's Books Unbanned program?:
https://www.bklynlibrary.org/books-unbanned
While they aren't directly challenging bad copyright law, they are directly fighting back against laws that are much more actively and materially impact people's access to books, including providing free e-book and database access to everyone in the U.S. age 13-21. It's a great and important program, and your donations can really help!
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ir-abelas-vhenan · 21 days ago
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Fermented Fruit Juice
I saw a post a while ago talking about how Varric ended up "winning" against Solas, and really liked it. I've been revisiting a lot of Inquisition dialogue lately and found perhaps my favorite conversation between the two when it comes to highlighting their ideological differences. It also foreshadows why Varric "wins" at the end of Veilguard (within the confines of the endgame choices we're given) even in death.
The crux of it: Varric lives in a world in which his very existence is an act of resistance, while Solas sees resistance as a trial that must be endured to get desired results.
As always, once I get started I'm sure this will be very long, but I love that we got the chance to see a very rare instance in which Solas concedes a point to one of his companions.
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Solas: Once, in the Fade, I saw the memory of a man who lived alone on an island. Most of his tribe had fallen to beasts or disease. His wife had died in childbirth. He was the only one left. He could have struck out on his own to find a new land, new people. But he stayed. He spent every day catching fish in a little boat, every night drinking fermented fruit juice and watching the stars.
Varric: I can think of worse lives.
Solas: How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you? How can you not fight?
Varric: I suppose it depends on the quality of the fermented fruit juice.
As always with Inquisition dialogue, I am obsessed. But this moment does such a great job of laying out the fundamental building blocks of each character.
Solas comes right out of the gate and lets us know who he is. He is united with the man living in the ruin of all that his life used to be.
Solas, too, is living alone in a world where all he once knew has been taken from him. Before his sleep he had a master to serve, and then a rebellion to lead. He fought, he was relentless; his people were suffering but they were whole. There were opportunities to find comfort, familiarity, or even just a new normal amongst new lands and people, but he rejected them (I think perhaps this is best shown through the murder of Felassan/the plot of the Masked Empire). Now, he lives as much as he possibly can in the fade and waits for his opportunity to restore the world he believes he ruined in his quest to save it (imprisoning the Evanuris through the creation of the veil).
Varric, conversely, has been tearing his way through this (to Solas) new world his entire life. I also think it's worth noting that his attitude is probably an absolute smack in the face to Solas, who knows what the dwarves once were and is responsible for the loss of their dreams and the ruination of the titans. But Varric doesn't need to know what was lost in order to know what an uphill battle he faces in Thedas as a dwarf. And fuck, he's from Kirkwall, he knows exactly how much worse life can get than a quiet existence with food, drink, and the stars for company.
But because these two have such a cool dynamic of agree-to-disagree/mutual admiration for each other, Varric thinks the story over and renews the discussion.
Varric: What's with you and the doom stuff? Are you always this cheery or is the hole in the sky getting to you?
Solas: I've no idea what you mean.
Varric: All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. What's so great about empires anyway?
Varric: So we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar's too proud to ask for help. So what? We're not Orzammar and we're not our empire.
Varric: There are tens of thousands of us living up here in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad.
Varric: Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.
Solas: And you have no concept of what that difference cost you.
Varric: I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those thaigs fell.
God I love what the dialogue in these games used to be. There's so much I could talk about, but I think what I want to focus on is the idea of empire being so smoothly fitted in to the discussion.
Varric, knowing Solas isn't fully satisfied with his answer, ruminates and comes back swinging. This is also where I'll add that part of the reason I think Varric throws Solas so badly is because he's what Felassan could have been with more time to form his arguments. When Solas made the choice to take Felassan's game piece off the board, our favorite slow arrow was just coming to terms with the idea that there is beauty in taking what an imperfect world offers you and making the best of it. Varric is comfortable in this viewpoint, and Solas can't just kill him on a mission or at Skyhold. He has no choice but to hear the argument he fights to ensure he doesn't have to hear.
And damn, what an argument. Without meaning to, Varric cuts to the quick of what has been haunting Solas. You cannot snap your fingers and re-establish Empire as it once was. Orzammar has cordoned itself off from the rest of the world, does not ask for help, and clings to an ever-crumbling old order. Even if you tried, too much has changed. Dwarves are not what they once were, and more and more have returned to the surface. Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be. And Solas has never been able to confront that possibility.
True to form, he pushes back. But why not give it a try? Why take what you've been given when you could wrest what you've been denied from the hand that holds it? How can you do nothing?
Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could’ve been, never fighting back?
Varric: Ha, you’ve got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.
Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?
Varric: In that story of yours—the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone—you thought he gave up right?
Solas: Yes.
Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.
Varric: That’s the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you’ve got, it takes—and it’s gone forever. The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That’s as close to beating the world as anyone gets.
Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken
And then Varric hits him with it: a life alone is still a life. There is nothing that time will not take from us. What Solas fails to understand (and we can blame this on his pride, on his crusade he cannot lay down until he is free of his duty to Mythal, or his straight-up sentimentality) is that if Elvhenan hadn't fallen through the actions of the Evanuris and those he took to stop them, it would have been something else. Life is a wailing gnashing unrelenting song that will never be satisfied and can never cease dragging all that falls before it into its maw in the hopes that finally something will be enough. When it tears something down, your only choices are to "lie down and die or keep going." And again, as a Kirkwall survivor, Varric knows this. An occupying force remove your political leader? Quell the violence and try again. The chantry explodes? Save the city's mages from their bloodthirsty jailer and make sure there's a tomorrow where you can fight to fix it.
We know this doesn't dissuade Solas, the burden he's placed upon himself it too great, the ways that war has shaped him have scarred deep. Part of the tragedy of Solas is how he's been walking the dinan'shiral so long that he is incapable of turning around. Every step he takes has sent sharp rocks cutting into his feet, and it would kill him to turn around and see just how little of a distance he's covered. He cannot let go of resistance as a concentrated action, as fighting until there's nothing left but ruination.
But it is no small feat on Varric's part to get the Dread Wolf himself to concede a point. And a step further than that, Solas respects his friend, and respects the life he's built amongst the scraps of what once was. I don't doubt for a minute that Varric was a key part of why Solas was able to start seeing the world around him as a little more real.
And then of course we get Veilguard.
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It is here that Solas dooms himself.
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"You came a long way and made a valiant effort, Varric, but this story does not end with my downfall."
But it does. Because even if Varric, like Felassan, is taken off the table, Rook endures. And what is Rook in this game if not the very continuation of Varric's fighting spirit: an absolutely untested newbie who through miracle after miracle (regardless of the issues I may take with that) is the very portrait of "But he went on living" ?
Varric may not get to be the one to talk Solas down at the very end of the game after Mythal waves her hand and unleashes her second-in-command, but by delaying long enough to stop the ritual, by refusing to give up on his friend that stares at the stars every night with nothing but his fermented fruit juice for company, he ensured someone would be around who could.
In one of the less kind endings that person is Rook, dragging themselves into the fade with Solas out of sheer spite or sending him there against his will. In the kinder endings, it is the Inquisitor, letting their friend/heart know that at last, merely surviving another day is enough. And I like to think that it is within those kinder endings that Solas thinks of Varric each time he works to soothe the titan's dreams and make life just a little better for the tens of thousands living in the sunlight. Perhaps, in this world where he is finally free, he appreciates the gravity of ensuring others have a chance to keep living in a world that is hell-bent on taking. Maybe he even finds a cup of that fermented fruit juice in the fade, sits with his feet dangling over an endless abyss, and drinks to his friend's honor.
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I'll leave y'all with a final bit of dialogue I love.
RIP Varric Tethras, an absolute fucking baddie who forced Fen'harel himself to part with just a smidge of his pride and recognize someone that reminded him of what he once was--wiser than most--and in the subtext of this conversation, wiser than a pining spirit of wisdom himself.
Solas: Do you ever miss life beneath the earth? The call of the Stone?
Varric: Nah. Whatever the Stone - capital S - is, it was gone by the time my parents had me.
Solas: But… do you miss it?
Varric: How could I miss what I never had?
Varric: But say I did have that sense, that connection to the Stone. What would it cost me?
Varric: Would I lose my friends up here? Would I stop telling stories?
Varric: I like who I am. If I want to hear songs, I'll go to a tavern.
Solas: You are wiser than most.
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someonegoood · 9 months ago
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MY WHOLE LIFE pt. 2 ✫ mason mount
part 1, part 2, final part.
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in which life does not go on after Mason breaks your heart over and over again. (brother’s best friends troop).
CONTAINS: brother’s best friend troop, angst, some smut (not really explicit) & fluff ! age gap, arguments...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: here's part 2 ! Mason made his first goal for United and I'm emotional 💞 I'll do part 3 later
taglist: @dreamingofautopia @xjval @sunflower-tia @sad-fridge2323 @girlidekanymore @borbolwra3
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Chelsea added to their story.
Your phone notified you, immediately dampening your mood. Everything was related to him.
It’s been two months since Mason shattered your heart after that nightmare of a night. The funny thing is that a part of you didn’t hate him, a part of you that still loved him existed. 
You had waited for him to text you to ask how you were and if you were free to hang out. And by the time you realized that he wasn’t going to, it was too late… too awkward for you to ask as well. So, both of you had resorted to ignorance and hostility. 
Life eventually went on, even though you had cut one of the most important people out of your life. And you’d see yourself by night, in your dreams. All these faces in the crowded city of London, and for some reason, you’d still try to find his. Mason was no longer yours.
Although he never was.
The first time Mason saw you after that night was a couple of months later, at a family lunch. The two families —Mounts and yours—had united in your family's garden for a little lunch to catch up on life. You had turned twenty and Lyon was old news. 
But Mason’s eyes were stuck on your body as he watched you sit between his sister and your brother just before him. Sipping from a glass of wine that you most likely didn’t like, he glanced at you.
Your brother had brought his new girlfriend with him and even though you were still as close as ever, his attention was on the pretty blonde talking to your nanny.
Mason had spent so much of his life avoiding you, but after the night of the party, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. Although he just couldn’t. 
—Dear, will you serve me a little piece of that cake? —Your mother had her plate in her hand, waiting for Mason to react. It took him about five seconds to come out of his trance and then he served her what she had ordered.
He was too busy thinking about you.
—So, Mason… when is your next match? Your dad told me you were playing for England. —Your mom tried to lighten up the mood since you were not bickering with Mason as you were on other occasions. 
Mason smiled up while you looked at him and caught a glimpse of his beautiful Cheshire cat smile.
—I’m playing next week, on Sunday… —He looked around at everyone and proceeded. —You are all invited, of course. 
After an hour or two, everyone stood up, scattering around the decorated garden. Mason grabbed his phone from the table and headed to the kitchen in search of a beer.
In the background, the voices of the two families blurred together as you finished washing your plate. Both Mount sisters were busy playing card games with their mother and your brother was having a talk about politics, which you were not at all interested in. You had no one to talk to.
Suddenly, you feel someone behind you trying to open the refrigerator. That bloody refrigerator, which, being so old, could not be opened correctly. You turned around, not expecting to see Mason looking at you.
You headed to the refrigerator to open it, so Mason moved from where he was previously standing, leaning on the kitchen counter. You gave the refrigerator a little kick and it opened.
—Thanks… —He said grabbing the beer, the tension being palpable in the air. After a long pause, you continued:
—How are you? —you asked, he could feel your eyes staring into his side profile, but he stared at the sun setting over the British landscape.
—I’m alright.
Scoring some scarce points with Chelsea has become almost impossible under a year ago now, and you really felt sorry for him, knowing everything he and his team put in.
—How are you holding up? —you stood next to him, nudging his shoulder with yours, before looking down at the floor. You felt the look of pity that Mason was giving you, but you tried to ignore it.
—Thank you, really. 
—Mase...
He looked in your eyes this time, he looked so sad, so broken. So desperate for a hug. You didn’t pressure him to answer your question, instead, you gently placed your head on his shoulder looking along the garden in silence.
—It will be alright, you know. —He hummed, knowing you were still hurt because of what he had said.
—I know. —You whispered back. —And don't worry much about scoring, in the least expected moments your shot is the one that serves the most.
He hated how much you believed him because at that moment he felt like the six-year-old boy with dreams bigger than the world itself, who thought everything was possible. 
Mason looked down at you, the smile on his lips was enough to melt your heart, and threw his head back in a laugh. 
—I don't think I’m ever getting rid of you.
Now it was your turn to laugh. After all the laughing he noticed how your eyes shifted from his own to his lips, and then he remembered why he was avoiding you in the first place. He did a face.
—I know, I know. —You said with a sad look on your face.
—You know I’m too old for you, right? —Mason whispered as he leaned his forehead on yours.
—I’m in it for the long game, Mount.
It felt like your heart was twisting and stuttering, sometimes beating too quickly that you were afraid it was going to push you over the edge. You wanted him to notice, to do something to fix it. 
Time went on flying, the last few days being hectic. It was already Sunday and today Mason was playing with England and obviously, you were more than proud. He had invited your brother —his best friend—, you and your family to watch him from the special box for family and friends.
The cold air hits your face as soon as you enter the box with your family. Excited, you see Debbie and Tony, and their children already seated. You were so nervous that your hands were even sweating.
You sit next to Stacey, Mason's older sister. She gives you a smile.
—Nervous about the game? —she asks.
—A bit, yes... —you say as you settle down, your eyes scanning the pitch, looking for him. For Mason. 
—This should be an easy game, England has a better team.
—You never know. —you reply. You were almost freezing, you only had the basic England t-shirt on.
Stacey noticed that you were shivering from the cold and decided to take off the sweatshirt she had tied around her shoulders. She put it on your lap and smiled.
—Put it on, otherwise, you'll freeze to death here. —she said, laughing.
—I'm... —You said about to deny it. For a second, you thought about the cold that you would catch without the sweatshirt, so you decided to take it. —Oh, never mind.
The sweatshirt was white and had his number and surname printed on the front, in a blue font. This made you remember the uncountable times when you stole Mason's sweatshirts just to have his number on you.
Stacey, without you seeing, grabbed her phone and texted his brother: "Just wanted to say that she's here and she's got your name on her sweatshirt. Good luck! We're all rooting for you. And don't worry, she'll wait for you."
All of a sudden, Summer, Mason's niece, came up to you asking if she could sit in your lap to have a better look at the pitch. It was no secret that Summer enjoyed seeing you, as she had grown up seeing your brother and you in the Mount household.
—Look over there, Summer! There is your uncle. —said Stacey, and both Summer and you looked over to where the players were entering the enormous pitch. There he was, beautiful as always.
The whistle was blown and the match started. Everyone was immersed in the excitement of the box, watching the match carefully. The atmosphere was electric, and each second increased the tension.
—Yes! —You screamed when Mason's friend, Declan, scored the opening goal, feeling your heart beat against your chest rapidly. Summer looked up at you with wide eyes, before she started giggling. You smiled and leaned down to where she was and kissed her on the forehead.
The second half started and your eyes only followed Mason running up and down the pitch. Only one goal was scored in the whole 45 minutes of the first half, that being Declan's goal.
Abruptly, Stones stole the ball from a player on the opposing team. He ran alone, jumped over some defenders and, feinting, the ball passed to Henderson on the right side. He analyzed the position of the players spread around the pitch before passing it to Foden, who was almost close to the goal.
He passed it to Mason and he, avoiding the players, aimed and kicked with all his strength.
The world went silent for a moment. He had scored.
After realizing that he had scored a goal, Mason ran to the end of the field, right where you were. The atmosphere was pure shouting, people jumping and celebrating but you only had eyes for Mason.
He looked towards the box looking for those who truly love him and just at that precise moment, you connected glances. With a shaky breath, you stood up from your seat and waved to him, also trying to hold Summer up with your other arm.
Mason's heart melted when he saw that scene and many things went through his head: he couldn't believe he had scored a goal after so long and he also couldn't believe how beautiful you looked with his niece in your arms.
In celebration, he pointed to both of you and you could only sigh in love. The game ended with a great performance from Mason and a win for England.
As soon as he stepped into the box, he scanned the room for you, but Summer caught him off guard.
—Uncle Mase! —she ran toward him and he picked her up, planting a kiss on her cheek while she wrapped her small arms around his neck.
—My favourite person! —His eyes fell on you and he didn't know if it was his imagination or the fact that he hadn't seen you in days, but you looked prettier than usual.
You were standing at the back, watching Mason greet his family. You felt shy and awkward, which made you hate the feeling even more. All you wanted was love from him and for that, you haven't slept well in the days after the family lunch with the Mount's.
—I played well, all thanks to you. —He kissed her head and his niece giggled. The little girl ran toward her mother and then closed the door, leaving you and Mason all alone. Your family had congratulated Mason before and told you they were waiting outside.
—How have you been? —His voice was gentle like he was afraid to say something.
—Mason! —you laughed. —You just scored a tremendous goal for England and you ask me how am I? Sometimes I don't understand you.
—Alright, alright. You have a point! —he laughed, definitely not missing those nervous butterflies in his stomach. He felt like a little boy.
His gaze searched yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. He scratched the back of his neck and then looked at your sweatshirt with his surname and number.
His number looked very good on you, he thought.
He gazed at your lips and he came dangerously close to you. You stepped back, hitting the table. Mason was looking straight into your eyes when he suddenly grabbed you by the waist and sat you on the table. You let out a little squeal. The air was thick with tension, and all you craved was to pull him close and kiss him passionately.
—We-we should go. —you said, clearing your throat. —Your family is waiting.
Quickly, Mason grabbed your wrist.
—Mase... You don’t have feelings. You don’t have a heart.
Now he’s frowning as he tries to unravel your words. His breath hitches.
—I feel things… —your heart twirls with the way his voice sounds. You had always loved his voice. How croaky it was. But you never imagined that it would turn your entire world upside down to hear him say that.
Pushing his hand down, you look back, weak and concerned. He worries you might have suddenly regretted all of this. That you would walk away and never want to talk to him ever again.
What he didn't know is that he's everything you were imagining those long nights… he had never kissed you, not even touched you.
—It’s okay if you want to stop- —he said, while you slid your hands under his t-shirt. Running up and down your hands through his lower torso, you felt his abs contract.
—Mount, I'm certain that I'm okay. —you said, giggling. He smirked. Your core grows tighter with his expressions, now holding onto his broad shoulders.
Unexpectedly, you both heard from behind the closed door someone shout: —Mate, are you there? The party starts at ten, hurry!
Fuck. That was your brother.
Mason had completely forgotten about the party in honour of their win. How the fuck was he getting out of that room with a hard-on? He had to calm himself.
You, on the other side, felt your heart falls into pieces. You thought about how long you had waited for this exact moment, every time you gave your endless hope all you ended up doing was bleeding. And this time, not only he was about to leave you alone but he was going to leave you turned on.
—I'm-I'm sorry... —he said, exiting quickly from the room.
After that match, you only heard from Mason through your brother. He had told you that after the match, at the party, Mason had rejected every girl who appeared to flirt with him.
Apparently, you've had an effect on him.
Mason hated how his heartbeat boomed in his ear when he saw you standing in his parents' house, with a blue shirt that had printed out the number 19 on the back, hugging your figure. 
You had blossomed into a beautiful young woman, you had for sure gone through puberty. He didn’t like to stare but he found it hard not to sometimes. Especially on family boat trips when you would wear a bikini in front of him.
—So, we're leaving after lunch. Do you want to meet at the stadium or at home?
You took a minute to understand. —What?
—The game, remember? We're having lunch here and then driving up to watch the game. —Said your brother, while getting on the boat. About three weeks had passed since you almost kissed Mason and now you were about to hop on the Mount's boat in Portsmouth.
You had completely forgotten about the game. During your conversations with your brother, you could sense that Mason hadn't mentioned anything about that night which was, in a way, kind of relieving.
Just like you, Mason had also forgotten that your family was coming over. But when his sister sent him a text saying that your family would join him before his game, he was flabbergasted.
You both hadn't spoken since the night of the win, but you both were thinking about that interaction since then. To forget that incident, he had spoken to one of his best friends, Ben, in search of a solution.
—Mate, what you need is a good fling. Maybe you should invite someone next time you're going on a family boat day —said Ben, laughing because of what Mason was asking him.
You got on Mason's boat, feeling heavy-hearted once again. After an hour, you were seated on the floor, helping Stacey with a puzzle, after your mom expelled you from the kitchen when trying to help her. Meanwhile, Mason and his mother sat down on the couch.
—She has grown into a beautiful woman, don't you think? —His mom said teasingly, already knowing that you were not the only one fallen for someone.
—Yes, she has. —He looked at you, seeing you laugh at something his sister had said. —Mom... I think I fucked up.
—If you had fucked up, she wouldn't be here.
—No mom, I really- —Mason got interrupted by the entrance of a tall, dark-eye, skinny blond, almost gotten out from a runway. She turned toward Mason and presented herself as Daphne, a friend. Debbie now understood why her son said he had fucked up really bad.
Your brother, seeing Daphne —the supposed fling of Mason— talking with him, turned to you.
—Forget your stuff, let’s just get off this boat. Don’t turn around okay? —his hands gripping strongly your shoulders. He knew how much you liked his best friend.
You laughed and followed your brother down the steps of the boat before stopping in your tracks.
—Since when have I ever listened to you? Dear God, I- — Your mouth fell open as you turned around to be met with Mason and his mother, and the presence of a girl that looked like an actual model.
She was leaning on him and he was laughing at whatever she had to say, while Debbie looked at you with pity. You felt like he had personally ripped your heart out, for a hundred times.
—You knew?
Your brother sighed before running his hands through his hair: —She's only a side thing, a one-time fling. I mean she’s not you, but he decided to find someone before Christmas. —He shrugged his shoulders and you felt the rage creeping up your body.
—What about me? When will I be happy? —you said, crying.
That sentence broke your brother's heart.
19 years to be exact, that's the time you've been waiting for him.
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gingerteawrites · 3 months ago
Text
Undeserving - Where the shadow of the past looms over Diluc’s present
A/N: I'm baaaaaack. This one has been in the works for a minute, and has taken on many different forms, but here I grace you with a work about my OG Genshin husband. Please enjoy and let me know what you think! Not beta read
Content: ANGSTTTT, Husband Diluc, relationship troubles.
Word count: 1.5K
Diluc Ragvindr had convinced himself that the last thing he wanted on this earth was to start a family. The tale of his own being torn apart would never not be a sore wound, one that incessantly throbbed, one that he believed would never heal.
The idea of being ripped away from any sort of attachment was repulsive, as was the possibility of growing estranged from loved ones. Familial bonds were simply too sensitive of a topic. Too painful of an ache.
You on the other hand, had always dreamed of the wonders of marriage. Of a sacred contract of love and care. And after years of timid courting, Diluc did what he thought would never be possible. He gave into the new, selfish desires of your company. Of an attachment to you. Of what he could be WITH you.
Diluc got married to you, the love of his life. Something he felt was simultaneously the best and worse thing he could ever have done. It did not take too long for him to become consumed with dread of history repeating himself. The potential of all the failings of this new attachment loomed over him like shadows of the abyss.
While you enjoyed the newly-wed bliss, the joy of finally being united with your love. Your husband spiraled into more and more agitated thoughts. Yes, this union was something he had wanted. So badly it kept him awake at night. He had wanted to have you for himself. And him for you. But everything he kept inside him created a dangerous brew of dark thoughts that now made him restless.
He tried to hide this all from you. Oh how ashamed he felt. Staying at Angel’s share a little longer than usual, leaving the house before you woke up for sparring exercises, coming up with things to do when you tried to bring him lunch as a surprise.
It all came as a shock to your system. You had always known that Diluc was not openly affectionate, but he had never truly avoided you. Your romance was one of timid touches and whispered sweet words, of acts of service and long evening walks, but never of hiding and silence. It drove you mad.
You tried to be the bigger person and give him space. Afterall, you knew — if only partly— of his family’s woes and him not being used to have someone so close. But after weeks of this game of hide and seek, you had had enough.
One Friday night, with your own spiralling thoughts, you ordered all the house servants to take the weekend off, and waited for Diluc, resolve hard as steel to get through this issue.
When he silently cracked the door open, he jumped at the sight of you, gaze fixed on him with your arms crossed, a single candle on the nightstand illuminating your face.
“Hey,” he greeted quietly, closing the door before he started to take off his coat.
“Hey,” you responded, lips pursed as you watched him. These were the first words you had exchanged all week.
He almsot felt small under your gaze, taking off his outer garments and gloves which he set on his dresser and turned to face you with a sigh.
“I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy recently,” he tried to appease you, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I am exhausted, shall we sleep?”
Your brows furrowed in exasperation, and you unfolded your arms.
“Not so fast Diluc.” He froze at your tone, sharp, cutting through the dry air. “Is that truly all you wish to say?” You asked, feeling yourself growing shaky with all the contained emotions. Confusion. Anger. Fear.
“What…” he turned fully towards you “What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly.
You took in a shaky breath, closing your eyes to calm your nerves. When you reopened them, you noticed your husband’s slightly hunched position, his bangs falling over his eyes. That hair that always reminded you of a warm hearth. Something to grow fond of, now looked dull in the pale candelight. And the sight made your heart ache.
“Diluc please don’t play dumb with me. What is going on?” You ask, leaning towards him “You’re avoiding me.” The words leave a bitter taste in your mouth and your lip curls in distaste.
“Did I do something wrong?” You add after a pause, the sadness breaking through your tone.
“No, no, no, it’s nothing you have done.” He jumps in, guilt gripping at him hearing your pain. It was much easier to rationalize his behavior when all he saw was your sleeping form when he left in the mornings and came back late at night. But now faced with you awake, his chest felt unbelievably tight.
“Then what is it?” You ask, steadying your voice once again.
Diluc sighed, his fingers gripping the sheets beneath him. He then raises his head so his eyes can meet yours, the curtains of his hair falling away from his face, and you see the conflict in his eyes. The pain of something he is keeping locked away in his being.
“Please talk to me.” You whisper, covering his hand with yours.
“I…” he pauses, feeling ashamed of his thoughts. How could he even justify his actions to you. “Maybe… maybe us getting married was a mistake.”
The words pierce through you like a blade, and your entire body stiffens, mouth agape, eyes open wide. You feared your ears betrayed you. “What did you say?” you hear yourself ask.
His hand reached for yours, and you jerked away before he could reach you. His lips opened and closed multiple times, like he was trying to find words.
Recovering from the initial shock of his words, and all you felt was an overwhelming sense of anger bubble out of you. “Is there someone else?” You asked through gritted teeth. The possibility would absolutely obliterate you, but you had to know.
“No, I could never.” He rushed to say again. ”Then what is this about, Diluc!?” You almost yelled, chest heaving. You did not recognize the man standing before you.
“I…” he stammered again, brows downturned, biting his lower lip. “You just deserve someone better.” He spat out, his entire body tense. “You’re just too good for me. And I am sorry it took me until now to realize it. No.” He stopped himself. “I knew all along, but I was selfish.” He shook his head. “I just can’t make this work.” He sucked in a deep breath, his voice growing meek.
Your hands fall against the mattress, fully taking in his words. Words that did nothing to quell your anger, only adding more fuel to it.
“And who made that call?” You ask, loud voice resonating through the room. He looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who decided that huh?” You leaned towards him. “Not me.” You concluded bitterly.
“But.” He says, eyes locked with yours.
“But nothing, Diluc.” You punctuated, voice firm again. “I think you are deserving of me.” You point to yourself. “I love you Diluc. Do you not?”
“Of course I do.” He adds, closing the distance between you two, his fingers finding yours again. “I just don’t want this to end badly. I don’t want us to end badly.” He confesses.
“But don’t you think we’re worth the risk?” You ask, searching his eyes. “Don’t you think that our love is worth trying?” You emphasize.
He looks down at your linked fingers before his gaze returns to you. “I am a weak man. Weaker than I look, certainly. I’m scared of losing you.”
“So you decide to push me away?” You ask in disbelief, to which he stays silent. “Then I refuse to go. We are going to make this work, whether you believe you are strong enough for it or not.” You conclude.
Diluc looks at you, your eyes shining with determination and unshed tears. A testament to your own strenght. An announcement of his own weakness. How could he be Mondstat’s defender, working to uphold the foundation of his city if he could not work for you. The realization sunk into his stomach with a nauseating weight. He was chosing the easy way out. He was hurting you and himself because of fear.
“I am sorry.” He chokes out, pulling you into him, engulfing you in his warmth for a hug. “I really am not deserving of you.” He adds, his voice trembling as he buried his head into your neck.
“Just promise.” You wrap your arms around him “Promise you’ll try.”
He pulls away from you, his hands moving up to hold your cheeks, his eyes burning with new certainty, new determination. “I swear to you.” His thumbs move in circles against your skin, wiping away your tears that have started to fall. “I promise. I stake my life on this. On us.” And he brings his lips to yours to seal this commitment. The past was dark and seemed all-engulfing, but he would not let it overshadow this present with you.
Comment and reblogs are much appreciated :))
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thinkwosolife23 · 1 year ago
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She needs you, Alessia Russo
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Today was one of the biggest games, if not the biggest game of the season.
As an Arsenal player, playing Chelsea has to be the most fustrating game to play. More importantly as a defender, you have the task of keeping Sam Kerr quiet. Even with Leah by your side, it can be extremely difficult. Despite being your rival, you have the upmost respect for the Chelsea team and all of there players, they are a talented side but that means they bring out the best in you. But it's got to the point where everyone almost expects Arsenal to lose, like we don't even put up a fight against them.
You've played Chelsea many times over the 3 years you have been at Arsenal, your win ratio isn't exactly ideal. You can count on one hand how many times you've actually beat them.
However, Arsenal have made some big changes and improvements this season. With the new signings and players returning from injury, you were hopefull, really hopefull that you could win,
One of the new signings just happened to be your fiance. You and Alessia had known each other since you were about 13 through the England youth teams.
When you were 18, you had made the venture to move to America to go to University and play for North Carolina Tar Heels. Alessia had also made the move, meaning the two of you became a lot closer. Eventually that lead to a relationship when your were both 19.
In 2020, you signed for Arsenal and Alessia had signed for Manchester United. The distance was difficult for the both of you, it definatly challenged your strength as a couple. But it mad you cherish the time you did have together even more.
You had proposed to Alessia in the iddle of Wembley stadium when you had just won the Euros, you couldn'y have thought of a better time to do it. Thankfully, she said yes.
You were over the moon when your soon to be wife decided to join Arsenal. Obviously, you knew that the choice was difficult for Alessia and you knew how much she loved her United. But you couldn't be happier knowing that for both club and country, you get to play alongside the love of your life. You had the hope that Alessia was exactly what Arsenal needed to beat Chelsea.
Anyways, the Arsenal coach had just arrived at Emirates Stadium.
Before your warm up, you had chance to go onto the field to do the pitch check, to speak with some of the Chelsea players and have time with your own teammates.
After talking to Millie and Lauren, two of your fellow Lionesses, you and Alessia began walking around the pitch looking for your families in the quickly filling stadium.
"How you feeling, love?" You asked Alessia as she began tracing patterns on your hand whilst you were walking along, somethin she usually did when she was nervous.
"I'm good." She told you, her voice not at all convincing.
"C'mon Less, you know you don't have to lie to me."
"I'm just a bit nervous, that's all. It's a big game, there's so much pressure."
"Forget about the nerves, the pressures. I have no doubt that you'll be amazing because you always are. My stargirl."
By now, the two of you had stopped walking around. You had pulled Alessia into a hug, lightly kissing her temple, her head resting in your neck.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
Before long, you were stood in the tunnel waiting for both teams to walk out. You always were last in the line, it became an almost ritual for you now. You and Katie were messing around as usual, laughing at something one of the mascots had said.
Arsenal Starting 11:
GK - M. Zinsberger LB - K. McCabe CB - L. Williamson CB - Y/N. Y/LN RB - S. Catley CDM - L. Walti CM - K. Little (C) LW - C. Foord CF - V. Meidama RW - B. Mead ST - A. Russo
Chelsea Starting 11:
GK - Z. Musovic LB - A. Lawrence CB - M. Bright (C) CB - J. Carter RB - N. Charles CDM - S. Ingle CDM - E. Cuthbert CAM - F. Kirby LW - G. Reiten ST - S. Kerr RW - L. James
The game was fairly even at both ends. You and Leah had an amzing partnership at the back which the Chelsea frontline were currently struggling to get by.
At the other end of the pitch, our fowards were doing a really good job of testing Musovic in goal but nothing had managed to get past her.
Until…
45+2' Alessia Russo Goal (A: Y/N Y/LN)
You had sent a long ball from the halfway line, which managed to go ever the Chelsea back line and reach Alessia who kicked it into the back of the net.
She ran over too you and jumped, wrapping her arms around your neck and her legs around your waist.
In the second half, Chelsea brought a tougher energy. The players were acting way harsher towards the Arsenal players, way harsher than they were in the first half. Their tackles were higher, the shoulder barges were stronger and the shirt pulls were far more occurent.
However, even by the 80th minute, you still were in the lead. You and Leah had made no mistakes at the back, the Chelsea frontline couldn't even get a proper shot off without one of you making the crucial tackle or block.
Leading to this moment. Chelsea had a corner in the 83rd minute due to you blocking a Sam Kerr shot.
At Chelsea, you knew that they either aimed for Sam's head or Millie's. They would always aim for one of them two.
You were currently in the main mix of people in the box. You were glued to Millie's side, doing your upmost to mean that the ball didn't go in the back of the Arsenal net.
Guro's delivery was impeccable, the ball heading straight fo the mix of blue and red in the box.
You jumped up to try and deter the ball when you felt something a lot harder than the ball in the side of your head.
Everyone in the stadium watched as Sam Kerr's Boot connected with the side of your head, sending you limp on the floor.
The Arsenal players in shock when you didn't get back up like you usually did. Play was immediatly stopped when you were face down on the ground, not moving.
Your teamates headed in multiple different directions. Some members of both teams gathered round your unmoving state to give you privacy whilst waiting for the medics. Alessia and Katie headed stright for Sam's direction in an angrily manor, whereas Leah and Steph wher among some wsho where straight by your side.
Leah, slowly and carefully began to roll you over so you were on your back. Players faces screwed up in horror as your face was covered in blood, which was now all over your shirt.
"C'mon Y/N, I need you to wake up now." Leah said, whilst scanning your face to see if there was any sort of response.
Alessia's fustration towards Sam had took her attention, her mind thinking you would be up by now. In the midst of it all, she hadn't noticed how you were still on the ground.
Your eyes slowly flickered open, shocked at the amount of light you were faced with. The pain in the side of your head was unlike anything you had ever felt with.
"Less?" Your voice barely scraped a whisper as all you needed was your lover by your side.
"Give us a minute, love. She's on her way."
Leah darted her eyes to Alessia's direction, to see her still going at Sam, emphisizing her fustrations and anger.
Katie had now noticed your state, realising it was way more serious than anyone had anticipated. And was now trying to help Beth steer Alessia away from Sam. Alessia wasn't ever the type to get in shouting matches but everyone knew that you were each others weak spot.
"Less, stop! You've had your say, now leave it!" Beth's unexpectedly firm voice slightly startled Alessia. Meaning her and Katie could pull her away.
"Alessia, she needs you." Katie's words made her turn around to realise that you were still on the floor, blood dripping from your head, with Leah and the medics by your side.
Alessia made little time in rushing over to your side, guilt swarming her as she let her anger overwhelm her.
"Baby, i'm sorry. I'm here now." Alessia said, taking your hand in hers. Watching on as you drifted in and out of conciousness.
The medics were quick to get you on the stretcher and off the pitch to get you properly treated.
The players and stadium erupted in claps as you were took off the pitch and down into the tunnel, towards the medical room.
There was a significant amount of extra time in the match due to your injury, but the players concentration wasn't on the match anymore. It was on whether or not you were okay.
Alessia couldn't even think straight, let alone play a match. As soon as the final whistle went, Alessia disregarded all the usual expectations of post-match and ran down the tunnel to find where you were.
The confusion flooded Alessia as she approached the medical room. Your laugh could be heard from the outside of the room.
Alessia quickly swung the door open to be met with sight of you on the medical bed with pading and bandages covering the side of your head.
"Oh my, Babe your awake." Alessia said as she saw you, her body instantly relaxed a bit.
"Babe?" Your face crumpled up in confusion and so did Alessia's as your reaction to her wasn't what she expected.
She quickly directed her look to the staff on the room who were fast to reassure her that you were quite dosed up on medication.
"I have a wife, you know." You told her factually, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Ohh do you now?" Alessia had to hold in her laugh, but her eyes also softened at what you had just said.
"Yeah, she's so beautiful. The most beautifulest girl ever."
Alessia did now actually laugh at the word you had just created.
"Can you tell me what your name is? Just so I can go and get your wife, I'm sure she would want to know that your okay." Alessia tried to go along with your words, hoping you'd eventually realise that your fiance was stood in front of you.
"Y/N Russo." You told Alessia confidently.
Alessia eyes watered at your confession but she soon thought that the best thing was to just turn around and show you the back of her shirt.
"So you stole her shirt and now your trying to steal her wife."
"Right, love, listen. I am Alessia. Your my fiance, we're not married yet."
"Ohhhhh." You said, the realisation of your confusion finally hitting you.
Alessia came and sat on the bed next to you. You moved over so she could lay down meaning you could rest your head on her chest. Your hands wrapping tightly around her waist as hers lightly rubbed your back.
"I quite like the sound of Y/N Russo, though."
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sophie-frm-mars · 10 days ago
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If you're fairly young and online it can really help you to learn to spot who is dealing with their feelings well and who isn't. Now, obviously a lot of people in marginalized classes experience a lot of negative feelings when talking about how the world is, and that's okay, so I'm not saying just ignore anyone online who's having a rough time. On the other hand, people who make an identity out of being angry, or sad or "being a bitch"/"being a dick"/not caring about the feelings of others really aren't processing their feelings well. You'll often see these same people claim to be completely unaffected by things that are quite clearly massively dysregulating to them, and if they were having a more normal time being online they would probably say "yeah, this making me feel [feeling]" and either log off to go process that or move through it more honestly
I think you can save yourself a lot of time that you might spend arguing with someone who cannot hear you and doesn't see your inner reality because they're too upset if you can recognize when what someone is saying comes from failing to deal with their own feelings
There will also be times when people who are like this decide to make it your problem. Unfortunately social media sometimes rewards unhealthy coping mechanisms. People find themselves with big audiences or communities of similarly dysregulated people who aren't very well and then they just want to find someone it's okay to bully, because it makes them feel better, and it won't make them feel better if their bullying has no effect, so they pick on people they feel like they can reach instead of people truly deserving of ire, fascists and finance perverts and so on
The best thing you can do is make sure that your life offline is as fulfilling as possible, or if you are still in a place in life where online is a really important support system for you, then make sure it's separate from these people. Hang out in a discord call with your friends, play some games, swap movie recommendations, tell them about a blog you found recently, listen to their problems for a bit. Or go for a walk, listen to the birds, learn to tell apart the bird songs, find a place where you like being alone that isn't in your house
Negative emotions are united by the fact that we don't want to be seen when we're experiencing them. We want others to think of us as happy, excited, passionate, curious, and not as sad, angry, ashamed, scared. This makes us sometimes lie to ourselves when we're experiencing those feelings, dissociating from our emotional reality and seeking a release while making up justifications for why what we're doing is normal and rational and achieves some greater goal. If you see someone who is clearly very upset but claiming to be cool as a cucumber, they're simply not your problem, go to a different page
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