#but now I just want to find stuff thats not just fucking Americanized and or just flat out ignored

[itsalwaysdark]

the world if sims 4 had more lots per world

[flowergardeninthewall]

Guys, the tapioca flour on the top shelf of my cabinet has been taunting me for the past month.

[nexus-nebulae]

i used to like. Never drink milk i think it was my most hated beverage for a while there. and then recently i found out im lactose intolerant and at the same time was noticing i have a tendency to "not like" foods that i didn't realise were making me sick (hating tomatoes or Specifically american soda or most american breakfast foods or specific artificial sweeteners = fructose intolerance! who woulda thought) like i guess i just subconsciously avoided all the stuff my body couldn't digest well (which was great i barely had to change my diet to avoid all my allergens and intolerances) but like. recently i decided to try lactose free milk like just regular milk with the lactose Deleted and. now suddenly i keep craving milk. im actively choosing to drink milk. i think i like milk now. what the hell

[braxlrose]

Can ya like make nsfw/sfw hc about Tom?

(Btw i luv ya🫶)

Like I did with Bill, I think I'm just gonna do sfw hcs rn cause I'm tired but I will get to the nsfw 😈

sfw headcanons for Tom Kaulitz

You and tom were bestfriends when you were kids, you were always hanging out with him and bill whenever you could (considering they were your only friends before gustav and georg came around)

You and tom got into trouble ALL THE TIME

Sometimes with Bill but other times tom thought some of the stuff you did would be too "hardcore" (his words) for bill, so you two would go and do stuff

One time you and him pulled the fire alarm at school and poor Bill happened to be walking by just as you two ran out 😭 you guys felt so bad he was the one who got in trouble

His mom LOVES you so much, yk when you can't find your friends and you go downstairs and they're just talking shit w/ your mom 💀 that's you and their mom

You two would practice guitars all the time and even got matching stickers to put on the guitars

When you guys were little kids, you, bill and tom would play hide and seek and tom would always be yelling "I'm not ready yet!!" LIKE BRO, it literally says "ready or not, here I come!" 🙄

He steals a shit ton of your food

Like you'll just walk into your house and he's standing in the kitchen eating your food 💀

You two would smoke in the back of the school w/ bill and listen to music and you'd always end up laying your cheek on his shoulder

Now I think we all know tom likes girls, but if any of the girls who was flirting w/ him disrespected you, he would just laugh in their face.

Like one of the girls said "it's either me or y/n. Your choice." He just stood there like 💀 who do you think I'm choosing TF?

He's a fucking asshole so whenever yall went swimming he would splash water at you, or go and swim under water and grab your legs to freak you out

And he's always laughing his ass off when you scream after he does that 😐

He's a bitch fr

also for "some reason" he always hated when guys flirted w/ you

I wonder why 😐🤔

so whenever any guy came up to you, he would automatically come behind you and put his arm around your shoulders or wrapped around your waist or on your hips LIKE BRUH UR 13 WTF ARE U DOING

He somehow makes the guy leave w/o even calling himself your boyfriend (bc he's not) and he does this basically so you can't get mad at because "didn't even do anything"

TOLD YALL HES AN ASSHOLE OH MY GOD (still love him tho)

You guys watch movies together ALL THE TIME

Of course bill joins you guys too sometimes

But other times he has "other things to do" according to tom 🤨 so you guys end up watching movies together

YOU GUYS HE DOES THE THING WHERE YOU YAWN AND STRETCH YOUR ARMS OUT AND THEN PUT YOUR ARM OVER THE OTHER PERSONS SHOULDERS

istg that's in like every single American 80s movie

He thinks he's so slick abt it too

NEWS FLASH

He's not. Like at all.

It's cute though

After a while it starts to get super obvious he likes you

He doesn't flirt with girls as much and focuses his attention and flirtiness towards you, and he gets you little things that you like because "that's what friends do for eachother"

If you try and bring up that he likes you, he will deny the fuck out of it. You're his best friend and honestly he hates that he feels this way bc he doesn't want to ruin anything.

Little does his dumbass know that you like him too 💀

So one night when he comes to your window and knocks on it you go to open it and see him.

Apparently he wants to go swimming.

Which you deny because it's freezing cold water and night time (super scary, yall I'm like terrified of the dark if you didn't know)

But eventually he convinces you and you sneak out w/ him

And thats when he confessed to you, you guys were laughing and splashing around in the freezing water when he finally said something and yall finally became a thing

Thank god, because everybody was getting sick of the tension.

Once you guys start dating, oh.my.god.

You guys are making out all the time and at school he always has his arm wrapped around you, possessive mfckr 💀

This just increases as you guys get older too

And since you're his bestfriend, he doesn't treat you like he would treat any other girl. He likes you so much and doesn't want to ruin the friendship either.

If you're in the band, he's touching you whenever he can, especially on stage (even though there's only like 10 ppl there)

As he gets older, like I said before, it gets worse

Once Monsun came out and you guys started getting the fame, he made sure EVERYONE knew he was with you

He would wrap his arms around you on stage or practically shove his tongue down your throat in between songs (if you're in the band)

If you're not in the band, he talks about you in basically every single interview

He finds a way to add you into the conversation

His cuddles are literally the best

He's always the big spoon, but he loves holding you.

If you're in the band, he always has you sitting on his lap, or if you're on the tour bus he let's you lay on top of him and sleep.

He also LOVES seeing you in his clotheses

They're giant on you and he thinks you look adorable (SIZE KINK YALL, but that's for the next post)

He loves it when you're just sleeping in one of his giant t shirs and just some underwear, or no underwear 😉

Sometimes you get insecure when he flirts with girls at a meet and greet but he always reassures you that he never meant to make you feel that way and tries to cool it down

I know some of you guys think he would do this, but I honestly don't think tom is a cheater

Yeah maybe he would ghost girls or do some other shit but I don't see him as someone who would cheat on a girl

Especially one he loves so much, so you never have to worry

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED TY FOR THE REQUESTS, ILL DO THE NSFW SOON

OMG I FORGOT MY TAGLIST AGAIN SO SORRY

@hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes

[plussizefantasia]

It's Always the Wife

Bucky Barnes x BlackCat!Reader

Chapter 4/6

<Prev / Next>

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: It's the danger part of the story so we've got guns and threats, talks of murder, alcohol, and language.

A/N Not a huge fan of this part but I got to the point where if I kept tweaking it I would go insane so.... here ya go. Part 5 coming this week!

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

How the hell had you missed this? How had you not realized that the lynchpin behind all of this was the wife? It’s always the wife, how could you miss that? 

Fuck Bucky Barnes. You’d bet your whole life savings on this somehow being his fault. If he hadn’t made you go to bed early you could’ve done some more digging and you probably wouldn’t have missed it. It was his fault. It was his stupid worrying and caring about your well-being that got you into this mess. 

“Ms. Longborne, I have to admit, you’re not exactly the first person that comes to mind when I think of a potential investor in our little… business. Didn’t you say that money should be used to help others, why are you interested in making more if you have all you need?” Mrs. Bowman looks you up and down, far more critically than she had when you two had first met when Bucky was at your side. He’s not here now, you’ll have to cover your own ass. 

“Mrs. Bowman I’m sure you’re well aware of the more theatrical part of society, playing the role of the wholesome heiress is good for business that's all.” 

“Dear, I’ve been playing my part for longer than you have and I never once had to lie to people to boost myself up in the world.” She takes a sip from her glass and sends you an all too condescending smile.

Thats bullshit shes not a natural blonde first of all you can see her roots growing out, and secondly, your pretty sure backroom and under-the-table dealing while keeping the facade of a happy and wholesome nuclear family to the American people counts as lying.

“Mrs. Bowman, lying is a bit of a harsh word I don’t think I ever lied to you. I find that when my money goes to charities and the like it makes people less likely to look into the way that I make that money. A small contribution to the commissioner’s wife’s favorite cause and suddenly he’s all the more willing to loom the other way. It's strategic, that’s all.”

“So, that’s what the sizable donation to my charity was, a red herring?” 

“Yes and no,” You take a sip of the whiskey in your glass, and resist the urge to make a face, you have no idea how Bucky drinks this stuff it tastes like disinfectant. “I needed to make sure that I got an invitation and I knew that such a large sum would draw some eyes, it cost a pretty penny but it got me this far didn’t it.”

“That it did, but I have to ask, why did you want to meet my husband so bad?” Mrs. Bowman placed her drink on the table next to her and began sauntering towards me. “I wouldn’t normally feel the need to step in when it comes to deals like this, I prefer to stay in the background I’m sure you understand. But you… Your very presence sends off alarm bells so tell me. Deborah, why shouldn’t I just kill you now and be done with this.”

The gun cocking behind you makes the hair on your neck stand up, you slowly turn and make eye contact with Hunter, a Smith, and Wesson leveled at you. He doesn’t make eye contact.

If you get out of this you’re going to slap the shit out of that metal-armed bastard. Didn’t he say he’d be right behind you?

You take a deep breath, if you show any weakness any hesitence you’ll get a bullet between the eyes. And you aren’t planning on dying today.

“Other than the fact that if I just suddenly go missing it’ll only raise questions? I think you’re bluffing. If you didn’t trust me even if a little bit you wouldn’t have brought me back here and you definitely wouldn’t have let me get a glimpse behind the curtain. If I didn’t know any better I’d say this was a test. And judging by the smirk spreading across Mr. Bowman’s face I think I just passed.” You cock your hip out to the side and rest the arm holding your glass on it. “Am I right? Or can Hunter get on with it and pull the damn trigger already.” 

“I wasn’t sure about you Ms. Longborne but anyone who can look a pistol in the eye and come out on top is someone I want on my side. So… let’s talk business.”

Holy Shit, that was too close, for a moment there you had a glimpse into an entirely different end, one where Bucky hears a gunshot and runs into the room only to see you bleeding out on the carpet, unable to do anything but hold you as life slips between your fingers. You can’t die, not until you tell a lot of people a lot of things. 

You shake your head to pull yourself back into the moment. 

“That’s the thing, Mrs. Bowman-”

“Julie, if we’re going to be partners we have to do away with the formalities now, I don’t deal with kiss-asses.”

“Alright, Julie, I need to know more about this business before I decide on anything. I may not have the most strict of morals but there are some things that even I won’t be involved in.” 

“Smart girl, alright what do you want to know.”

“Hunter let me in on a little bit of the financial aspect, said that you were looking for investors. Is that as far as I’ll go, I give you money and you give me back my returns or will this partnership be a more… involved one.” 

“Investor is a fun word, it implies that you have power. That won’t be the case. See unlike the shareholders of the corporate world I won’t be bowing to your whims, trying to satisfy whatever hold you think you have over me. I’ve worked far too hard to have someone think they can wave a couple thousand dollars around and control me.”

“I'm not in the controlling business Julie, I just want to be sure that my money isn’t going to be going to waste.” 

“So you want to know what’ll happen with your buy-in is that it?”

“Precisely, I don’t need to know all the gory details after all, I’ll need some plausible deniability if this whole thing falls apart after all.”

“Dear, why don’t I explain this part after all, it was my idea.” The governor cuts in, and you almost jump. You had forgotten he was even there, to be honest. 

“Sure, dear.” Julie pats her husband on the arm, her tone that of a mother speaking to a child. 

“Did you know that 8.8% of people in Alabama didn’t have health care as of two years ago? When I was elected I quickly and quietly ran a bill through the Senate and the House that mandated health insurance coverage. It’s now illegal to not have coverage which made a lot of people mad but created a big opening for opportunity. So I came up with an idea, and the best part is that It’s just on the right side of legal, legal enough that is. NexCare LLC; an insurance company entirely on paper, runs through several shell companies, and all the profits are shuffled into offshore accounts but it's mostly legit. And it insures over 25% of Alamaba’s citizens. They pay 24 Dollars a month for ‘complete coverage’,” he puts air quotes around the words and you start to feel the urge to punch his teeth out, “The coverage is just enough to make sure that people are following the law, but just convoluted enough that we don’t actually have to pay out for anything. We have the right to deny all claims yada yada. Essentially, we’ve created a way for the fine people of Alabama to essentially deposit their money right into our pockets.” 

Now you really want to knock this guy the fuck out. If he’s right and this is all on the right side of legal then there really is fuck all that you can do. You can’t arrest the man for owning an insurance company and if he’s crafted the contracts just right so that he doesn’t actually have to shell out for anything then there really isn’t anything you can do.

“Well Mr. Governor, that really is a spark of genius. And it’s all legal?” 

“It’s legal enough, we paid a lot of lawyers a lot of money to make sure of that.” Julie pipes in.

“And nobody knows that you own NexCare? How’d you work that out?” You bat your eyelashes at the man, hoping, praying for him to spill anything that you can use. 

“More legal mambo jumbo, I’m not too sure. Like you said, plausible deniability.”

“So why do you need my money, seems like you're pretty set up?”

“Expansion is expensive and the lawyers are demanding a higher cut in order to keep their mouths shut, this way everyone stays quiet and happy and we get to get more money from more people.”

“I don’t know, if you’ve already got people on the verge of spilling the beans then why would I want to be anywhere near that.” 

“Trust me Ms. Longborne we have ways of keeping people quiet.” 

“I’m going to need a little bit more than that Mr. Governor, I’m too pretty for prison.”

“God, Charles stop beating around the bush, Debrah here can handle some dirty work, can’t you darling?” Julie stepped in. “Being in power has its privilege and with an extra 3,000 a month into the hands of some police captains, we ensure that specific deaths don’t get investigated. That’s all, it’s a small percentage that reaches that point but it has happened.”

You can sure as shit arrest them for that though, bribery and accessory to murder at the very least. With enough digging, you could probably get the captains being bribed too. That wasn’t your job though, leave the digging to the team at Shield and they could do their arrest too for all you care. You just want to get the hell out of here as soon as possible.

“Let me get all this straight, you have a little arrangement with some shady as hell lawyers who are constantly on the verge of turning you in or extorting you and you need my money to keep them quiet so we can all keep charging the good people of Alabama for insurance that they’re legally required to have but will never see a single dime from?” 

Hunter sorts from his position lounging on the old couch behind you, “Pretty much nailed it, I told you guys she was smart.” He nods to his parents.

Julie purses her lips and looks back at you, “She may be smart but she still hasn’t given us an answer.”

“No, I haven’t, and I don’t plan to. At least not tonight. I’ve got some thinking to do but you’ve certainly piqued my interest.”

“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what might happen should I hear that you’ve been a little loose-lipped about what we’ve told you.” Julie raises her eyebrows at you. God, you really hate these people.

“No, you don’t. I can assure you word getting out that I was even meeting with you about this would ruin my reputation as much as yours, my lips are sealed.” You sink back the rest of your drink. “But if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been away from my date for a little too long and I’m sure he’s wondering where I am. He’s a worrywart.”

“Well, I look forward to hearing from you.” The governor grabs your hand and shakes it, his grip just a tad too tight to be comfortable.

You don’t say anything after that, just push your way through the doors and sag against the wall once they’re closed. 

“Bucky? Can you still hear me?” 

“Loud and clear Kitty.”

The nickname makes you smile, leave it to Barnes to lift the mood after one of the most tense moments of your life.

“Did we get enough?” 

“The comms recorded the confession and the fact that all three of them are in on it, yeah we got plenty. You did good work.” You nod your head.

“James?”

He just hums.

“I’m ready to go home.”

“Two steps ahead of you.” The voice is all of a sudden much closer, you look up and see him standing over you, holding your coat in one arm and offering the other to help you off the floor. You don’t even remember getting down there.

He pulls you up effortlessly and you stop yourself from crashing into his chest by putting your hand out, it lands on his chest.

He practically pushes you off of him and shoves your coat into your arms. 

“Let’s go.” He doesn’t look to see if you’re following him, he just begins to stride away. 

What the fuck is wrong with him? One moment he’s complimenting you on a job well done and helping you off the floor and the next he’s acting like being too close to you will set him on fire or some shit.

You follow after him nevertheless, you weren’t lying when you said you wanted to go home, and you aren’t going to let Barne’s shitty attitude keep you from doing just that.

Bucky is handing some bills to the valet when you finally catch up to him, the car that the two of you drove here pulls up to the curb you’re standing at. You move to open the door to the passenger side, but before you can get there Bucky already has the handle in his hand and he swings it open for you. He gestures for you to go ahead and you don’t even try to stop the scoff that bubbles up your throat.

You get comfortable in your seat as Bucky walks around the trunk of the car and gets in on his own. He doesn’t buckle just pulls away from the curb quickly.

You don’t like this sense of deja vu, being trapped in a car with James Barnes, neither one of you speaking it’s all too familiar. Except this time, you aren’t uncomfortable, you’re angry, more than angry actually you kinda want to rip off this asshole's metal arm and beat him with it for being a dick. 

Minutes tick by. You don’t speak but you silently fume from the passenger seat. You look over at him a couple of times, you can’t read him. You’ve never really been able to read him and this time is no different. What you wouldn’t get for a glimpse inside his head though.

The car pulls up to a red light, the two of you are bathed in the deep color.

“What the fuck is your problem this time Barnes?”

“I don’t have a problem.” He shrugs.

“Obviously you do or you wouldn’t have acted like my very presence is annoying to you and you wouldn’t be giving me the silent treatment right now.”

“I don’t have a problem.” He insists again.

“Fine. Whatever, when you’re ready to talk to me like a goddamn adult then I’ll be here to listen but if all you’re going to do is ignore me then you can let me out of the car right the fuck now.”

“What?” 

“You heard me, let me out of the goddamn car.”

“I’m not letting you out of the car Y/N! You’re insane.”

“Let me out of the car, or tell me what’s wrong.”

He doesn’t speak, he looks into your eyes and all across your face but he doesn’t say a word.

You nod a solitary nod and reach for the door handle.

“I love you.”

 That stops you cold in your tracks.

[buggitino]

some headcanons about sebastian solace from the hit game pressure roblox

to start - this may seem unimportant to you guys but its important to me: that ring on his finger is about as serious as the squirrel stapler room (that is, to say, the whole thing is a bit that the devs have included in their silly project and i will be treating it as such) (for selfish reasons, of course, but idc!! i'm having fun with this stupid game that i love and thats all that matters) (update on this: as i'm typing, i'm finding out that zerum is serious about her and sebastian being married which is honestly kinda...) (like sure fine that's cool and all if he were JUST your OC but sebastian has reached a point of publicity where he is more than that. obviously, i think it's rude and terrible and disrespectful to disregard a creators wishes as to how their character is used in fan-made content (this especially goes for NSFW art cause i think its fucked up if people make that sort of content of a character and POST IT after the creator explicitly said not to). at the same time, there are many people on the internet who do not care and will do what they want regardless. i think it'd be fair for her to ask not to have any of it sent to her specifically or posted in the Pressure server that she co-runs where she will obviously see it but she's saying she doesn't want anyone to make that sort of stuff period which is unreasonable and will only serve to hurt her in the long run. i don't know how old zerum is but this is reminiscent of my own (early) internet phases where i would become EXTREMELY attached to a character and refuse to acknowledge that that character existed differently (or at all) to someone else (i don't want to admit it was a sans AU but i really don't think i have a choice). i really hope she gets past this in a healthy way and comes to understand that a character who's been made public the way sebastian has been made public has a very different dynamic than an OC that you're sharing with your friends)

☆ pretty basic and angsty interpretation and im positive most people in the fandom agree with me on this - he doesn't like getting hit with the bright light not only because of the angler fish DNA making his eyes sensitive but also because it reminds him of surgical lights (which is why he has a Take No Shit policy (since the update) for expendables flashing him) (yeah, he has a pretty short fuse already, but he wouldn't deck an expendable for leaving and coming back in once nor would he shoot them for using the keycard on his wares) (so even though its because of the DNA mixing, i like headcanoning theres more to it for funsies)

☆ can and will let the expendables die in his shop because then he doesn't have to leave to collect all the shit they drop (on that note, wags his tail and chuckles when you buy stuff cause he knows it'll ultimately be useless and he'll just get it back)

☆ collects data so he has records of urbanshades bullshittery (so he can prosecute their asses the second he escapes) AND so he can re-discover his own identity (this plays into my headcanon that he's slowly forgetting what he used to look like as well as what his life used to be outside of urbanshades teensy weensy ginormous fuck up facility)

☆ i know this is (basically) canon but i'm solidifying it for myself by calling it here: he's chilean american (and speaks chilean spanish) and i know like i KNOW if his radio was working he'd be blasting Bio Bio or Futuro or Pudahuel 24/7

☆☆ bonus!! he 100% listens to mid 90s - early 2000s emo music now (have you even seen him) (that mf painted his nails pitch black in middle school) (walked out the door listening to Green Day and One Last Wish on his walkman while his mom kissed him goodbye telling him to have a good day at school TRUST) and his favorite chilean genres are nueva trova chilena, folklore, cueca, and punk melodico! (im not entirely familiar with chilean culture and music so if anyone here is chilean and likes Pressure PLEASE chime in i'd love to hear your thoughts)

☆ on the topic of family, he would help his mom cook and clean sometimes when his older sister was out (his dad helps too!!)

☆ twirls/plays with his hair (mostly because he doesn't have anything else to fidget with) (projecting he's self conscious about it cause thats why i play with my hair whoops)

☆ soft spot for teen/young adult expendables that he doesn't have for the older ones (every time he sees an expendable younger than 30, his disgust and rage towards urbanshade grows)

these are all for fun and just my personal opinions/headcanons!! i'll update these eventually (maybe) and i wanna hear what you guys have to say too :D

[system-of-a-feather]

New Pinned Post

I'm no longer in need of back up money, so commissions aren't needed, but if you ever want to commission me, I'm usually open. I also occasionally put some of my art on redbubble.

Please read Boundaries before sending an ask.

Anyways, hello everyone, I am too lazy to find my old crack DID pride flag (it'll come up some day and I'll link it here), and I figured I should slowly update some of my intro stuff for this blog after not touching it for a fucking minute.

You can call me Feathers - we're a 21+ year old Buddhist mixed-AAPI intersex nonbinary system (they/them) that is fully fused. There's a lot of oddities going on with our system so here is a bit of an explanation of our system situation here. "So what's up with the Feathers anyways?"

OUT OF DATE (5/15/2014); Keeping for it being an interesting post. For the most recent discussion on Buddhism, Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicity written by our fully fused self before our recent decision to swap back to Functional Mulitiplicity, feel free to read here; it's long but a pretty cohesive understanding of our current experiences with our DID and shit. (End of OUT OF DATE note)

We're diagnosed with DID, C-PTSD, autism, trichotillomania, OCD, and honestly a number of things cause complex-trauma life. We have some physical disabilities but nothing that typically causes too much obstruction in our day to day.

As a result of our state of recovery, we really don't have a set headcount, however we were / are polyfragmented.

Some fun things about us and things you'll see on this blog:

Due to the fact that DID is no longer really that much of an interesting topic / impactful part of our life, we only occasionally post about DID and our experiences with it. While it was the original purpose of this blog, as a depiction of our healing journey and what healing with DID can look like, we decided we would rather just post about whatever sparks joy in our life. As a result, rather than much content on DID, you will likely see things relating to the topics below. PLEASE feel free to send asks about ANY of the topics below. We love to talk about things.

We are Buddhist (primarily non-theistic; mostly non-denominational, largely Zen) and we really enjoy it. We particularly like the philosophy and do practice it. Admittedly, we identify as being god awful Buddhists, but thats okay cause its part of the process.

We love research and plan to go into it when our ducks are better aligned. We particularly love research and literature around developmental psychopathology, trauma, dissociation, animal behavior, and the more abstract neuroscience topics (particularly consciousness research). We likely won't post much on it as overtly here because I don't enjoy talking science on tumblr much because most people (in my experience) don't actually want to talk about research as much as they want to prove their point.

We are avid bird watchers and regularly document / photograph the birds we see and upload them to ebird. We really enjoy it as an activity and social engagement and really love sharing that joy and knowledge with people. We actually have a minor in Avian Science and have been tested on North American ID skills. We also know more than we need to about chicken biology as a result of said degree. If you want to send anything about birds, bird watching, or asking for a bird ID (even non North American), they are ALWAYS welcome and you are ALWAYS allowed to tag us in any bird related content.

We do a lot of creative work and have dedicated ourselves (without writing partner) to a large story world project that we've been writing for over a decade now. We actually specifically started grinding our art skills in 2020 specifically just to help build that world up. Art is one of our largest self soothing coping mechanisms. We are going to turn that story world into a comic and a TTRPG system so please check out @thedevaaffliction.

Overall, we really just like thinking about a lot of topics and things as part of both our interest in research, philosophy, and as part of our Buddhist practice. We don't really find an interest in arguing discourse / syscourse because we really dislike and see very little benefit in debate. That said, we love to discuss experiences, thoughts, feelings and perspectives on complex topics and as long as the intent is to discuss and share rather than to "win" or "prove", we really enjoy that sort of enrichment in our life so we do welcome it. That said, we withhold the right to deem any conversation as more debate than discussion and to abandon it.

Additionally, related to the fifth point, we believe in being fully transparent about our past and admission that we were wrong as we think it is very important to be able to re-evaluate your beliefs and opinions and grow. In our mid teens we actually were pretty far into the alt-right pipeline and until about a year or so ago, we were staunch anti-endos. These days we are basically commies and very pro-endo. If anyone has any interest on how we pivoted so hard in our opinions on those topics, we are more than open to talk and discuss it as well as any insights we pulled from the experience.

Also we love martial arts - I forgot that cause I'm not particularly XIV brained rn but we REALLY enjoy martial arts.

We suck at being labeled and having labels. We're just very very queer.

--------------

DNI:

People who put on their socks/shoes in the order of Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe

That's about it. We liberally block, so we don't really worry about DNIs. If we don't like your content for any reason, we will remove it from our dash. Whether or not you want to interact with us is up to you past that point. Generally, we welcome anyone to follow as it can make for good conversation.

[hisf0r3v3r]

BORN TO DIE

Part one.

Summary: You and Newt had a confusing relationship in the glade, but you're tragic lovestory would soon reveal itself.

A/n- I absolutely dont know what im doing, this is my first fanfic, so PLEASE dont judge. Any tips and tricks would be appricated<3 Also, english is not my first language! Also, this is just the first part so this will be kinda of a series!

TW: gore (only a little), a few mentions of suicidal thoughts/attempts, a bit smut later in the story, cheating (ish), swearing. Thats it!

The Glade wasn't a fun place, trust me, but it was a place you had grown to kind of like. Expect the 'constant people dying' part obviously, but other than that, it was pretty home-y and cozy.

But there was something- someone, you hated. Newt. With his stupid cocky attitude and constantly bossing people around. Who did he think he was? The president?

It was just another boring, hard-working day in the glade, people panting and sweating in the scorching sun. "Need some help with that, princess?" Newt taunted, his voice low and teasing, his british accent standing out from the sea of americans. "I can do it myself, thank you very much" You muttered, moving away from him with you're bucket of strawberries to help Frypan, or Fry as you called him, with the dessert tonight, which you rarely had.

"Oh Come on, sweetheart. Let me help you." He clearly wasn't letting go. "As much as i'd appricate some help, it would not be from you. Now go away, asshole." He grabbed you're arm, spinning you around, his voice low and rough with barely contained anger. "Let. Me. Help. You." He snatched the basket from you, before walking over to Fry with the strawberries. What was up with him today? You knew he didn't like you, just as much you didn't like him. But this was different.

Later that day, the sun was slowly going down, casting a soft, warm glow over the Glade. The gladers had mostly gone into they're respected huts, some still on-going. You sat quietly in you're hammock, reading some stupid copy of Romeo and Juliet that had come from the box a few days ago. The cheesy yet sad romance story did little to entertain you, but it was either that or helping with dinner, which you'd gladly skip.

As if the gods above wanted to torture you, Newt stepped into you're hut, leaning against the unsteady wooden walls, "You know they both die, right?" He said gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest with a slight scowl. "And? It's not like i have any other to do." You mumbled, turning in you're hammock, you're back towards him. You knew ignoring him would only make it worse, only make him want to annoy and irritate you more, before right now you just needed some peace and quiet.

BANG!

You're head whipped around, eyes wide. Newt stood there, his own eyes wide with slight panic, he turned around, seemingly putting something back to place. With a huff, you sat up padding over to him, you peeked over his shoulder, letting out a frustrated sigh as you realised he knocked over you're make-shift desk with a few papers and books. "What the hell are you doing?" You grumbled, pushing past him as you tried to re-organize you're stuff. He rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish grin on his face. "Sorry, Mrs, 'everything has to be perfect'." Finally, you snapped. "Whats up with you today? I get that you hate me and all, but not only did you steal MY strawberries, but you're now also invading my space. What the fuck do you want?"

Newt just simply stared at you for a moment, shocked by you're outburt. "You dont like me, I dont like you, and I get that, but why are you all up in MY space?!" You continued, panting softly. "I-...i uhm" He stammered for a while, trying to find words. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled softly and you genuinely had to take a moment to process his words. "You're sorry...?" He nodded slightly, the movement barely noticeable.

#Themazerunner #tmr #Newt×reader #Newt×fem!reader

[shadowscommand]

Inspired by nikto in Miami (iykyk). Give some ops their favourite fast food chain... Whoever u want it can be as few or as many ops as you wish

this is perfect bc w nikto in miami i can just say theyre all in miami fsr and not have to worry abt what restaurants are where. YAY. and also i know whats down here. so if i miss something bc its some northern shit DONT be surprised. read all my posts w a southern accent. Anyway.

rodion ofc would b the most excited hed want to eat at a million places and get a bite of everything and get himself sick. i think nikto would probably end up finishing a lot of his meals & eating the best he has since hes become nikto bc he cant let food go to waste and rodion is eating like final 2 fries after 3/4th of the biggest burger on the menu & half his chicken nuggets then going "Oh my god...... Im so full now......." and sipping on a little milkshake. he would rly like dairy queen bc they have so many little ice creams to pick from. nikto wouldnt b impressed by any particular fast food chain i think but he would probably find some local wings place he rly likes bc the food is spicy. and he enjoys a good fry. he might fuck up a captain d's tho. they got fish. yummy. or popeyes actually bc they have shrimp AND its spicy.

i dont think bale is picky abt food at all. both him and nikto you could feed them anything and theyll take it. stuff thats really greasy might bother him but he'd still fuck up a steak n shake. or a wendys baconatorr but where i really want to see bale is a waffle house. the burger w the bacon w the hashbrowns he can put cheese in. its that american cheese but its good he will like it. salty as FUCCCK. uh minotaur is having a horrible time but he will still enjoy a chicken hashbrown bowl. and a captain d's too hed like the bread roll. OHH and a taco bell rice bowl. if they still have those. hed like a chipotle more than taco bell tho.

nikolai would fuck up a five guys burger and fries but it would put him out for the rest of the day. or an ARBYS bro get him a roast beast with fries, cheese sticks, and a shake hes OUT. i think krueger would b a lil snobby tbh he would like a local burger/wings place but not fast food. except mayb a nice plain value menu chicken sandwich from wendys its not very greasy. + good fries. syd already knows fast food placess in america shed probably rly fuck w most of them she LOVES a burger and fries. shed probably rly like cookout and any place that gives a lot of variety. five guys as well for all you can put on a burger + boiled peanuts. yegor would be so haterous of fast food but he'd enjoy a walmart deli bc its a one stop shop. and some nice gas station coffee. idk if farah would come along tbh idk that she could get into America with her label... she's not underhanded like kroug and nik are she's very blunt and doesn't lie... she would like Wendy's tho. something Small bc all the grease is gonna fuck her uppp

roze also doesnt care for fast food i think shes not huge on burgers esp not eating them often. but shed like chick fil a and grilled chicken sandwiches. mayb arbys roast beef every so often. lerch does not gaf at all if someone's going to get food he'll eat whatever gets brought back for him. he just wants a large. velikan fuckin... would Tear Up five guys too put him in the pile. AND taco bell AND dairy queen w a nice big blizzard (he is always getting a brain freeze. every time.) AND any pizza place but prob mostly little caesars bc its the cheapest. goin crazy on the crazy bread.

mace like already knows fast food places so hed be able to kind of have an idea on places jackals would like. subway or jersey mike's is a safe bet any just sort of sub place bc thats just a sandwich but i think end of da day they wouldnt like any place nor the prices so theyd also just enjoy walmart deli sandwich or theyd get some use out of the hotel kitchenette. zane esp would not enjoy fast food imo. maybe a classic bit of mcdonalds by himself bc he just wants to eat and go. mace like doesnt care he enjoys a burger he likes a fry. jacks is good bc theyve got the potato and gravy thats rly yummy + you can get like an actual plate mace would like that. a country fried steak even..

uhh price Only likes the McDonalds fish filet i dont think hes fucking up any other meal or place. he would maybe snack on some chicken nuggets dry. i really just see sas going to McDonald's they know McDonald's. everybody knows McDonald's. they could end up in a steak n shake and enjoy it tho esp soap and thorne. i think otter alongside price is the hardest to please but if you give him enough hot sauce packets he can eat anything. ghost isn't going inside he wants to eat in the car but he doesn't gaf where they are. ghost and mace on an in the parking lot pizza hut date.

golem needs to try waffle house also. i think he'd probably actually be really disappointed in the lack of gyro places that's what he'd be wanting and there's like arbys and pita that's it. unless he finds a local place. wyatt would love cookout u can get a million things. AND captain ds. talon would probably also like captain ds but he does not want to go with wyatt. he will go with domino and mara who would rather be having pizza pizza little caesars. I'm taking Morte to the Olive Garden.

demon dogs would b up for anything but they would like All have to agree on one place. they probably mostly get big buckets from any of the fried chicken places OR pizza bc its easy to get a lot to feed a lot. OR a bbq place they love bbq they give u big portions they love to Eat. + just buffets bro they'd tear up a buffet.. all the ops would tbh itd be the easiest way to get everyone some food.

[diedandwenttobobevans]

First Journal Entry 7/21/24

Hi. Hello. I'm so fucking bad at journals. I've been wanting to do this for a bit tho. It's going to be a big dumb thought dump. Don't really care about coherence, this is just a habit I really wanted to get into. Theres a part of me thats like, anxious? I'm dealing with some really bad self image issues right now. Lots of stuff going on in my life. I've been insanely insecure and self concious recently and so even just the idea of airing my greivances out publicly with the protection of anonymity is nerve wracking to me. Everything in life feels overwhleming and. just. AAAAAAAAAA

Here's the thing. I'm a sorry excuse for an adult. I'm 35, just got out of a mediocre and toxic 13+ year relationship with my ex back in April. It was a long, dragged out death to a unfulfilling existence that I held onto too long. Dear Jesus I just realized I'll be 36 in 3 weeks. Fuck. Ready to get off Mr. Bones ride already. I am she/her/they (oh hey, that they is new but dont want to dwell on it too much) bi- lesbian leaning mess of a human being. I don't have spawn thank god. That's not to say I dislike kids or anything, I just don't find I am a patient and responsibile enough person to care for one. I barely can take care of myself.

So mental disorders. I haven't been properly diagnosed. Gotta love the American Health Care system. But it's more so I don't do anything. I don't take care of myself in the very obvious ways and I am always prcrastinating and straight up avoiding difficult and stressing tasks that every other normal ass person can do. So I haven't bothered with getting health insurance. I don't have a traditional job that provides benefits. God, I sleep so much but everthing tires me. Even just writing this out is mentally exhausting. I don't know whats wrong with me. I think its ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, maybe something else. Autism? BPD? Maybe I'm just a hypochondriac. I don't know how people can function if they feel like I do. I barely want to get out of bed.

My brain is starting to fry and I'm struggling to sit and type these feelings out. Again, so overwhelmed. It feels like I have so much to dump here. But at the same time I don't know what I want to talk about? If its not obvious, I'm not a self actualized person. I'm struggling defineing myself and my goals and what I want out of life. I'm hoping journaling practices will help with that.

I hung out with my brother and two of his friends on Saturday. One is renting out his basement, hes a long time friend of my bro's wife. Great guy, but I kinda want him to move out so I can take over the basement. Hes been house hunting recently so it seems possible. The other friend is a woman I just met this year, not sure how long of a friend shes been with Bro but shes openly Pan, outgoing, smart, adorably nerdy. Fine as hell. An amazingly caring person. I, the absolute garbage bag I am, went to a party at the beguinning of the year and not knowing anyone there, drank fast and furious and went a little loud and first met Adorable Nerd (not knowing the extent of her nerdiness) while plastered, trauma dumped about my failing relationship. Claimed to "like her vibe" THEN GAVE HER ASS A SQUEEZE according to other party goers. I'm so ashamed. and cowardly to boot so the next 2 parties I seen her at I avoided her out of embaressment. The fact she still wants to talk and even has invited me out to future hangouts is insane. She loves DnD and wants to play so bad. Maybe she would want to go to Gen Con? Trying to enjoy roleplaying games and board games is kind of weird when theres a lot of history of my ex and those activities, but damn it, I like that stuff. I may of learned a lot from him about the subjects but that doesn't make me not interested anymore.

Anyway, AdoraNerd seems intent on trying to "help" me. Trying to get me out and about, talk about my feelings. It's been 3 months now since the break up. I guess I should leave the house. Is she into me, is this weird to ask. Why would she care. I told her she would do amazing in psychology

God this a jumbled mess of thoughts. I would love to get better at writing and organzing my brainworms. For now though I think I'll end it here and try to make this a daily practice.

I want to add what I'm listening to here as well. Remember on myspace and xanga and most people ended their blogs with "currently lsitening to/currently watching/ currently playings/currently eating ect" stuff? I want to continue the tradition. What would all the important stuff be? I also kind of want to get into a collages for my mood so I have some kind of creative outlet outside of work.

Listening: SUPERHEAVEN - I'VE BEEN BORED / LITHONIA - CHILDISH GAMBINO

Watching: THE TICK (1994)

[thahxa]

yes. its that time of year. i'm complaining about canada again.

or am i? honestly i have no idea. this post is really just a reaction to the stuff going on in my life rn

but sometimes its really funny to see this place protrayed as a positive when so many people i know here want out

like yeah. the us is chock-full of Problems. at the same time that doesn't stop the unstoppable flood of people who desperately want in

from all corners of the globe you will find them. not by birth, or even by citizen, but the moment you see them you know, they're americans. that's all there is to it

everyone around me wants to be an american. i can feel it the way i feel the pressure in the air, the spirit in the sky. the unstoppable pressure to succeed. to be better. (am i conforming well to that pressure? probably not. im lazy as fuck.) to, as they say, have the "devil-take-the-hindmost" mindset.

you cannot understand china without understanding america.

people all over the world love saying shit like "the chinese people are extremely collectivist because theyre easterners"

they are not. thats japan.

the easiest way to understand china is to understand that the chinese people are hyper-americans. molly of the (excellent) weibo substack summarizes it best in this post

That unescapable, ever-present, suffocating pressure to keep clawing and fighting and moving your way up, and not ever being able to see the good and kindness in people.

and yeah. its not true for everyone. and stereotyping etc. but many of them definitely raise their kids that way

(incidentally, this is the whole core thing around the affirmative action thing. like if you ask asians on the ground theyre definitely at least unhappy about AA and this is basically a big reason why - we beat our kids (metaphorically or literally) so they'd get into harvard and now they're complaining that we're all doing it so much!)

and well, no matter where you raise them, how do these children grow up? they grow up to be americans.

the feeling here (never said but somehow very understood i find) is that anyone who couldn't make it in the us just isn't Good Enough

and god. i just want to be Good Enough, don't i? you're in this game to win. we like to pretend that we're not but thats the mindset right? you always want to be the best, or at least good enough.

that got you so far.

and you want to keep it up so you keep going further.

[violetwitch12087]

You go to comic con to see your favorite actor evan fucking peters and you see him while hes busy in the halls and he promises to get you a picture and he stays true to his word. In a unique way...

Promise?

I finally got comic con tickets to see evan fucking peters and ive never been more excited in my life i actually started crying when i got the tickets ive loved evan for so long and now that im finally going to be able to see him?! Literally dead on the floor. (My actual reaction if i ever meet him)

I start heading that way excited butterflies in my stomach going crazy i pull up and find parking which was pretty hard considering how many people are gonna be here i get out of my car and grab my phone and stuff i need before starting to head inside of the comic con building anxiety and anticipation filling my stomach as i walk into the building i pull out my phone and look at where i need to go

I see a lot of cosplayers with fucking awesome outfits i walk more down the halls i guess i could call them and i see im almost where i need to be i see someone being almost bombarded with questions from a surprisingly small group of people i try and look over them only noticing a almost familiar head of hair. Weird.

I see the person making their way past the group and start heading almost in my direction and thats when i see them. Him. Its evan fucking peters. My stomach drops nervousness filling my body as he makes it my way "hey evan" i stumble out loud enough for him to hear with a small wave as he gets closer "oh hey uh sorry im kinda busy right now but i promise ill get you a picture" he says my head turns to the side a bit "oh evan dont worry I don't want you to feel you owe me a picture its fine really" i say fidgeting with my fingers

"Oh come on, i promise ill get you that pic whats your name?" he says "uhm y/n" i say my breath catching up a bit evan peters just asked me my name "i swear y/n ill get you that pic" he says as he starts walking away people following, he probably says that to everyone, and he heads in the direction im supposed to go to so i follow the group of people making sure not to get close to them or something and we make it to the q and a room with a stage and i lot of chairs lined up i find my assigned seat and sit down lots of people filling the rest of the seats

My leg bounces anxiously around this many people and i watch as a guy picks up a mic and starts talking before yelling "evan peters!" And evan starts to walk out onto the stage doing a silly dance making me relax almost, he sits down at his assigned chair and grabs the mic pulling it closer to himself "hello everybody!" He yells and the croud goes wild a bright smile on his face and thats when everyone starts standing up to ask questions i would ask questions but im way too nervous that's my biggest insecurity

People ask many questions some about american horror story other about quicksilver and lots of his other movies and shows even ones im surprised people even know and evan always replies to them with much energy always cracking jokes or breaking out into song making me even laugh i mean who cant?

After almost 2 hours we finally get to the last question and the girl goes up to the mic getting ready to ask a question when evan stops her "wait, is there someone here a y/n here?" He asks and my eyes go wide "y/n here? Hello y/n?" He asks and my hand goes up evan not being able to see me "there was a girl who wanted a picture and i promised to give her one, y/n?" He says and people around me start to yell for his attention to be on me he finally looks in my direction and a smile makes its way onto his face "there she is!" He says pointing at me

I wave shyly everyone cheering around me "i promised to get you that picture after we're done come on back here" he says and i nod my head putting a thumbs up and everyone cheers again loudly and i sit back in my chair people around me cheering me on making me smile more

After the girl says her question and evan answers everyone starts to leave the room but evan grabs the mic "y/n please start making your way to the stage" he says and walks away from the mic and i shuffle through people to the stage where a guy is security maybe and he sees me and lets me go onto the stage another person leads me backstage where evan is "y/n! Oh i promised i would get you that picture i swear to my word" he says pointing a finger at me playfully a smile still on my face "thank you evan you're so sweet" i say as i start to pull my phone out and one of the guards takes my phone evan wraps his arms tightly around me smiling brightly into the camera and i do the same my arms wrapped around his torso

After the guard takes a couple pictures i take my phone back and turn to evan "thank you so much again evan you have no idea how much this means to me" i say and he shrugs his shoulders "who can turn down a pretty girl like you huh?" He says and a blush makes its way onto my face after a moment and evan looking like hes almost hesitanting he finally talks again "look uh, this is gonna sound weird but i think you're really beautiful and i would love it if you maybe gave me your number? Its fine if you dont want to like you said dont feel like you have to owe me your number" he says butterflies in my stomach messing up again

"Yeah no problem" i say and he hands me his phone and i put my number in with a little heart next to it he takes his phone back observing the contact a smile on his face "thanks can i take you out sometime?" He asks and i nod frantically the blush on my cheeks more noticeable this time and a wide smile on his face somehow gets wider "ill text you later" he says "you promise?" I ask

"Promise"

****************

This is so cute omfggg i actually love this so much i saw a video of evan calling a girl out for a pic cs he promised her one and he ended up finding her it was the fucking cutest thing ever but anyways happy mothers day *mwah mwah mwah* i love you so much bye bye my love

[dear-ao3]

silverstone, england. the british grand prix. home race to many. insane track with an even more insane crowd. sight of pivotal moments in this season and many others. an important weekend to many.

unless of course you are logan sargeant. then it is fourth of july weekend.

welcome back everyone. its silverstone, another highlight race of the year. in true silverstone fashion, it was raining and records were broken. today is july 19, 2024 and lets hop in.

theres a lot in here. lots to unpack. and unfortunately ive had a busy two weeks and now need to speed run this to still be on time for this weekend. so. my apologies. ill go into much detail as i can but alas. im positively strapped silly for time. due to that, there might be some stuff in here thats Technically supposed to be on next weeks post and not this one but consider that i am tired. i also hand write all my notes on everything while im watching and i have a record 8 pages front and back of notes this week so. with all that in mind. lets fucking go.

-so its silverstone. england. british gp.

-big fucking deal.

-its lewis, george and lando's home race

-and!!! alex albon's, technically. he races under the thai flag but he is half thai half british and his family lives 20 minutes from silverstone so. it is also his home gp as far as i am concerned.

-as far as teams. a few of them are based in england.

-mclaren, williams, aston martin and i think thats it...

-but! a whole lot of teams (7) have their head quarters in the uk, around in and around silverstone (ish? idk my uk geography is Really Really bad). mclaren, williams, aston, mercedes, red bull, alpine and i think haas??? maybe??? anyway. big fucking weekend for everyone pretty much

-AND it'll be an even bigger deal next year because haas announced that they signed ollie bearman for the 2025 season. we all knew it was coming but it is still exciting! which means we will have now 4 (technically 5) british drivers on the grid

-anyway we will come back to silly season

-both red bull and williams ran special liveries for the british gp

the williams one was kind of especially hilarious because well:

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-that's right!

-logan hunter sargeant, literally from fort lauderdale, florida, and the only american on the grid, had to drive the british car with the british flag on it with his (half) british teammate for a british team at the british gp on fourth of july weekend. later in the team torque video he says that he wanted to find a giant american flag to wrap around himself to walk into the paddock with. unfortunately i dont think he did.

-the only other funny thing to come out of that specific team torque episode was alex albon making fun of george by texting him "yabadabado" (which is what he said over the radio after his win the week before in austria). george's response was, very simply: "hahaha. paddle later?"

-george was able to aparently get his badge back form lando, who stole it the week before or maybe the week before that

-alex also stole lando's paddock pass because lando left it on the dash of his convertible

-and every interviewer ever tried to get the drivers to comment on the max/lando incident in austria

-they were incredibly uncsuccessful

-i wont include every response here for the sake of time and also my sanity but here were some of the good ones

-upon being asked if he and max had spoken since the incident, lando said in the press conference on thursday that "yeah, we did...honestly i dont think he needed to apologize. i think like some of the things i said in the pen after the are were more just cause i was frustrated at the time. a lot of adrenaline, a lot of emotions and i probably said some things i didnt necessarily believe in, especially later on in the week. its...you know its tough. it was a pretty pathetic incident. in terms of what ended both of our races. you know, it wasnt like a hit, it wasnt like an obvious bit of contact. it was probably one of the smallest bits of contact you could have but with a pretty terrible consequence for both of us especially for myself so so yeah...he doesnt need to, i dont expect an apology from him. i dont think he should apologize. i thought it was, as a review, good racing. at times, yeah maybe very close to the edge, but like we've said, we've spoken about it. we've talked about it and were both happy to go racing again.

-max also said "the only thing i care about is maintaining my relationship with lando because we are great friends. after the race, i said we have to let things calm down because emotions run high. we immediately spoke on monday and i think we came to the conclusion that we actually really enjoyed out battle."

-so the two of them were clearly over it. i think even max said in a different interview that he went to text lando about it but lando had already texted him. this however did not stop the media from trying to milk the fuck out of it

-"it was just racing. it was the slightest bit of contact" said nico hulkenberg

-"it was fighting for a win. youre not going to just wave someone by" said danny rics

-"max will push to the limit, as most top drivers do" george said.

-"that's part of racing" yuki said.

"I didnt think anything of it. i was more concerned about my race and enjoying the teams win" said lewis. and then upon also being asked what advice lewis had for lando racing against max he said "i dont really need to (give him any). they have been racing eachother for many years.....that has nothing to do with me."

-charles though had probably the funniest response. if i can find it.

-aha

-this was coupled with the fact that charles was seen running around the paddock on i think one of the free practice days (?) wearing an inchident friendship bracelet. you know as in the "nothing just an inchident" thing from when he and max were kids

-none of the pictures were abundantly clear, but this one was the clearest i could find

-anyway, one team was absolutely not having max's "antics" from Austria and surprise surprise it was mclaren, specifically zak brown

-how many times is this now that zak brown has had things to say about red bull? idk but its been a lot

-"were seen there be a lack of respect" he said about austria and other things. "whether its financial regs, sporting, on track issues with fathers, etc. i just dont think thats how we need to go racing. im also disappointed in such a great team like red bull that the leadership almost encourages it"

-max responded to this by saying, when asked what his thoughts were about it "who is zak brown?"

-and now we speed through the rest of the pre race shit because i am tired

-mclaren sent thank yous to the teams that helped them during their fire last weekend that i think were cookies in the shape of fire extinguishers

-lando and oscar went on a bunch of radio shows leading up to the british gp, and i think surprised a fan who missed her prom to be on the show

-oscar, who has said that about half the calendar was his home race this year and even got adopted by charles to keep this bit up loudly declared that the british gp was Not his home race, just the teams. yeah its probably cause Britain colonized australia, but it was still hilarious.

-lando also met a child that was dressed as him in the paddock, people lost their minds over it

-mercedes is loosing puma and tommy hilfiger as sponsors for next year (probably because lewis is leaving i think) and im pretty sure theyre getting replaced by adidas. this is bad news if you're george russell, who perpetually looks like a tommy hilfiger ad

-danica patrick is unfortunately not actually fired from sky sports for her lizard people video, but she is taking a break from commentating until i think coat to focus on something, i dont remember what. jenson button is probably upset about this

-speaking of jenson button, he was around this weekend, driving his first ever f1 car, the williams fw22. he was very excited about it. he also did the post race interviews but we'll get there

-alex albon got overtake of the month for his double overtake in canada.

-and the dogs!

-roscoe appeared in the paddock, as he usually does. roscoe being lewis hamiltons's dog. and he was right alongside lewis slaying in his fashion week outfits as usual

-leo was also present in the paddock

-charles was asked if leo and roscoe have met up yet. they have not. but charles wants them to because leo is still young and does not have many dog friends

-and arthur leclerc, charles's younger brother, got his own leo, probably to make fun of charles.

-alex albon also released merch that was themed for his pets and matched his helmet (he has a lot of pets) and he traded merch with roscoe

-and there was of course some weird ass pr

-some very interesting ferrari pr

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-and because it was the semi finals (?) of the euros, they had everyone try to score a goal in a soccer net and it was a right disaster for everyone, but especially pierre and Esteban who i think were the only two to miss the goal? actually no oscar missed too. crofty even said "even when you two try to work together you get it wrong"

-geroge and lewis sat on the fan stage and watched the ending of the semi finals, where england won

-max was asked his favorite british food. he said it didnt exist.

-and of course, stake continues to be stake.

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-so silverstone is home to some pretty damn iconic shit, but the year i want to highlight briefly is 2022

-this was carlos's first race win. and in the car on the way to the paddock, carlos and charles ran into a fan who said to carlos "i want to see p3" and carlos, after the guy left, said "why p3?" the two of them reminisced about this in the car on the way to the track this year as well

-and it was also during that race that we got possibly the best piece of commentary ever: though goes hamilton

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-of course if you have not seen this i beg, implore and beseech you to because it is insane, but ill also give the transcript. this is crofty talking btw.

-"perez is catching charles leclerc and he Takes Him Towards The Inside, pEREZ ON THE INSIDE! CHARLES LECLERC! GIVES HIM J U S T ENOUGH SPACE! cAn PEREZ SQUEEZE PAST THEYRE GOING WHEEL TO WHEEL! towards vale now! whos gonna be last on the brakes! leclerc has that inside line! pEREZ GOES OFF THE TRACK, HE CUTS THE CHICANE, OFF GOES LECLERC, THROUGH GOES HAMILTON!!! UNBELIEVABLE STUFF!!!"

-there is a bit more in this video, but yeah. through goes hamilton man.

-speaking of hamilton, he has won the british gp a record 8 times (tying with schumacher for most gps won at a single circuit) and has won his home race more than any other driver. just some of his impressive race stats, in case you all forgot about him :)

-anyway. thats enough of that. practice.

-so practice 1 saw 4 f2 drivers and reserve drivers. ollie bearman in the haas, freshly signed, jack doohan in the alpine, still battling for an f1 seat tho we will get to silly season later, franco colapinto in the williams and isack hadjar in the red bull.

-annnnnd i cant find my notes on this hold on

-aha here we go

-so we had jenson, karun and natalie commentating on practice 1, and they mostly yapped about silly season

-so it had been raining, but it was now finally dry, though maybe not dry enough because yuki got stuck in the gravel

-oh hold on, tangent

-because we're in england, the track has the absolute stupidest names for all the corners and the turns:

-anyway, yuki got stuck in the gravel 10 minutes in and red flagged the session

-"im stuck" he said over the radio.

-once his car was cleared, everything else continued as usual

-haas had 6 new upgrades for this weekend

-most of the yapping was about ollie, who they said was i a good team at haas, even though long term he will want to get to ferrari (they use the same engines, blah blah you already know the deal)

-jenson specifically said that it was good that he was starting out in a team thats "lower on the grid" because its less pressure. he said that if kimi antonelli were to get signed by mercedes for next year "it would be a lot of pressure on [his] shoulders" because mercedes is a high ranking team

-zak brown also came on the radio and continued his anti max and red bull campaign, talking about how "lando needs to make sure (an incident like austria) doesnt happen again" because "until someone tells (max) what he's doing is incorrect i dont expect him to drive any differently" and he also said that the "stewards and the pit wall need to enforce the rules better" because "I expect the drivers to race eachother as hard as they are allowed to" but he also thought that max should have been flagged for moving under the braking, which would have prevented the incident later on

-then there was the obligatory conversation about checo. they were confused as to why checo was signed so early, especially given his recent string of bad luck in races and qualifying and seemingly in general. jenson said that "with the title fight heating up, you need both drivers" and also pointed out that the car suits max, he will likely be happy with any teammate, as long as they are helping him in the championship and not stuck way down the grid somewhere.

-last year, max had enough points to pretty much win the drivers and the constructors on his own, but this year with the fight heating up, they need both drivers getting points conssistently. but again, we will come back to silly season.

-the session ended with oscar having a hydraulics issue and limping back to the pit lane

-i didnt watch practice 2 or 3 but i do know that at one point, lando and carlos were the only cars on the track. carlos asked if any other cars were on the track, his engineer said "lando only" and carlos responded with "car-lando"

-and sky sports posted this...interesting post about it

-thus concludes the practice sessions

-which takes us right to qualifying

-which started with pierre getting a 50 place grid penalty for replacing pretty much his whole engine. i think that this was because it wasnt working???

-q1 was a tad of a disaster.

-the practice sessions had been led by lando, lando, and george. red bull were aparently worried because they had aparently been going and standing outside of the mclaren garage and trying to peek in.

-but it was damp which meant the intermediate tires were out

-still, people were sliding. and someone. perhaps it was crofty, perhaps it was ted, idk, said "the difference is that youre sliding between an uh oh and a yeehaw"

-and checo was on the uh oh side because he ended up in the gravel. and he was stuck. which meant that he was out. in q1. again.

-checo really did not want to be out and over radio he said "all i need is to be pushed back, there's tarmac over there" which is is not allowed to do because that counts as outside assistance.

"can they pull me forwards?" checo asked over radio a minute later. "That would count as mechanical assistance, you wouldn't be able to rejoin qualifying"

-so they red flagged to get him out, and then it started raining

-max went off into the gravel in the same spot as checo, but he managed to get back on

-it was a very tight elimination round, but we ended up loosing pierre, checo, esteban, kevin and valtteri

-which MEANT that for the first time this year ZHOU WAS THROUGH TO Q2 IN A RACE QUALIFYING and he had OUTQUALIFIED HIS TEAMMATE!!

-AND!!! LOGAN WAS THROUGH TO Q2 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A RACE QUALIFYING AS WELL!!

-esteban though was pissed. "the only lap i have to push was the lap it was wet!" he complained loudly over the radio.

-heading into q2, max had some floor damage from his trip into the gravel, but he managed to stay in

-and charles was having problems, as seems to be usual. he was fighting his tires. he was not doing well at all. he ended up getting out in q2.

-logan also got out, but he was in p12. an all time, record high for him this year.

-we also lost zhou, yuki and daniel

-q3 was where the real fun happened

-zak brown thought that it was going to come down to merc and mclaren for pole cause max had damage. zak brown was correct.

-lando started out on provisional pole with a 1:26.03

-then george went .006 faster than lando, taking provisional pole with a 1:26.024

-max tried to go faster than the both of them, but only ended up in fifth

-toto had aparently promised to be quiet on the radio until the whole of qualifying was over, lol

-lewis briefly went faster than george, taking provisional pole, but then george snapped it back with a 1:25.819, putting him on pole! with lewis p2 and lando p3! the three brits in the top 3 for the british gp! the last time there were three brits in the top 3 of qualifying was in 1968 in south africa.

-and. surprisingly. nico hulkenberg. was faster than carlos. he qualified 6 while carlos qualified 7, making nico the fastest driver with a ferrari engine. Interesting.

-but back to the brits

-lando was excited for some good battles in the rain tomorrow and said that lewis and george both put in good laps

-lewis said that the "car felt great" (whatever upgrades they've put in it clearly seem to be working) and he said that "there was still time left on the table, which george managed to find"

-george said that "the car at the moment is feeling so so good" but also that it was "going to be tight with lando and max will be fast well"

-and then the post show was well. interesting.

-toto was pleased with the front row lock out, the last time merc had one was in 2022 in brazil

-jolyon palmer said that it was a "really good effort" from logan, who absolutely needed a good qualifying this week (logan also has now out qualified checo seven times this season alone. out of 12 races)

-and the ferrari. oof. laura winter said it great. "the car hasn't looked or felt good for charles or carlos all weekend" the two of them managed to qualify 11 for charles and 7 for carlos. which is kinda abysmal.

-horner was also asked about checo. "to go out in q1 is not what we can afford" he said. and he was also asked about checos contract, but said pretty much nothing about it, as in, if they are thinking of replacing him mid season. he did say earlier though that at the moment they are a "one car team" and that checo is "nowhere."

-and well that is our cue

-our cue to talk about silly season

-as we know, ollie bearman got signed to haas. ollie is presently (or at least he was at the time of the race) 14th in the f2 standings. (f2 does have more drivers in it than f1, there are 22 drivers)

-one of the red bull mechanics, whose name i do not know, posted an instagram story after the ollie announcement saying that "im not knocking this kids abilities, we all saw how good he was when he stepped in the ferrari this year. but he is p14 in the f2 championship, 89 points off of the championship leader paul aron who has no f1 seat secured for next year. what more does paul from have to do? 😅"

-then he posted a follow up story saying "a few of you are missing my point. im not slandering barman singing, nor his talent. but what more does the championship leader have to do to secure a drive in f1?"

-and hes kinda right tbh. lets take a very very brief intermission for a second to talk about f2 with the disclaimer that i know very very little about f2

-théo pourchaire won the f2 championship in 2023. he did not get an f1 seat, tho i think it was close between him and logan (maybe?) at williams for 2024. he was briefly driving for the arrow mclaren indy car team this year and then kind of inexplicably got fired (idk what's going on there if you really wanna know do your own research but i know they've been through a bunch of drivers)

-felipe drugovich was the 2022 f2 champion, he is presently the test and reserve driver at aston martin f1, he never got an f1 seat

-oscar piastri was the 2021 f2 champion, he got a seat at mclaren f1 in 2023 and was the test and reserve driver at alpine f1 for 2022

-mick schumacher won the 2020 f1 championship, he got a seat at haas f1 for 2021 and 2022 before he got let go by gunther steiner (gunther didnt like him, i really dont know why) and then be became the test and reserve driver for mercedes f1 and he also competes in the world endurance championship in alpine hyper car

-nyck de vries was the 2019 f2 champion. he did not get an f1 seat in 2020. he subbed in for alex albon at williams in the italian gp when he had to have his appendix out back in ... 2022? and then got signed to alpha tauri f1 in 2023 but was replaced mid season by daniel ricciardo

-george russell was the 2018 f2 champion and he was signed by williams f1 for the 2019 year. he was later signed to mercedes in 2022.

-so of all those names, only two are presently still on the grid. and oscar had to still take a year before he got signed, george and mick were the only ones in recent history to get signed immediately after winning.

-but thats not to say that other drivers havent been brought up from f2 to f1 who havent won

-aside from ollie we have also had logan sargeant, who finished in 4th in 2022 (behind liam lawson (who is still waiting for his red bull seat), théo porchaire, and filipe drugovich), zhou guyanu, who finished in third in 2021, yuki tsunoda who finished in third in 2020, and nikita mazepin who finished in fifth in 2020 (he briefly drove for haas, long story), nicholas latifi who finished second in 2019 (he was a williams driver for 2 years before logan), and of course, lando norris who finished second in 2018 and alex albon who finished third in 2018

-theres probably others that i am forgetting but alas. the signing of ollie does really beg the question of what the hell do you need to do to get an f1 seat besides have an inordinate amount of luck. because also, as we have seen, despite doing well in f2 some of the time the same people dont do super great in f1

-aside from that tangent

-haas needs a second driver

-and right now it seems like they are not going to re sign kevin, they are going to sign esteban ocon

-i have no other information on that except that its a possibility.

-then theres also the checo problem

-as horner said, they need two red bulls fighting for podiums and checo is currently Not doing that

-red bull is pretty much Just Max right now

-but checo has already signed an extension

-however when red bull do contracts i remember reading somewhere that you get signed to the red bull entity or something, which allows them to legally do the swaps (idk just trust me) so they could still swap him with Someone (and they could axe him. they've done it before)

-aparently according to some gossip pages theres a clause in checo's contract that says that he cant be more than 100 points or 5 places behind max in the drivers championship by belgium. belgium is in 2 races from silverstone. unclear if this is for his present contract or the next one or if theres any truth in this at all.

-also. red bull are notoriously ruthless with their drivers and often have dropped and resigned and swapped people like snap. so i think if they were planning to do this they would have by now. also he has an extension, as we said

-that has not stopped speculation tho

-there is more speculation that it would be daniel getting checo's seat in a swap. why daniel over yuki, idk, especially because yuki is out performing daniel. it might have something to do with max's preference because max has had daniel as a teammate before from mid 2015 (?) - 18.

-it does seem that that was the original plan as well, to swap daniel and checo at the start of the season, based on pr and other things (see the red bull cans i mentioned like idk several updates ago), but daniel had a bad start to the season and checo did not

-aparently max also had a decent chunk of say in checo getting re signed

-tbh, idk what to ever believe about red bull. cause lets remember everyone thought that daniel was getting cut before silverstone and now theyre saying he could be up for a red bull seat so ! whos to say

-then as usual we have carlos. hes still jobless. tho pierre said that he wants carlos as a teammate. as we know, the alpine seat seems to be between mick, jack and carlos and mick had his test scheduled during the off week after silverstone (yes its already happened since this post is late, no im not talking about it here im making you wait until the next one tee hee)

-toto also aparently reopened the possibility of carlos getting the merc seat. who knows how true that it but apparently its possible. toto also said about kimi possibilities that "a champion needs to perform in cold water and needs to swim"

-kimi antonelli had a response to this, and it was to have his first f2 win this weekend in silverstone

-and james vowels is still talking about logan. specifically about replacing logan. "i want to give him every opportunity" mr alphabet said "but there will be a lone in the same where we have to make a decision for '25 and maybe for something this year"

-so with all that

-the race

-before the race started though, a quick word from everyone's favorite monaco based youtuber

-yes thats right

-nico rosberg was in the paddock

-well, kinda

-he was at the race with an electric bus of grad students that he was sponsoring to look at travel and biodiversity

-and of course, sky sports asked him who he thought was going to win

-and of course he said lewis hamilton

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-but we all know about the great nico rosberg curse. would he thwart lewis? only time will tell

-and its race time

-checo decided to replace his power unit so he was starting from the pit lane

-pierre had some kind of problem in the great box on the formation lap and had to retire his car pretty much before the race even started

-but the lights went out, away they went

-max got ahead of lando almost instantly and the top three all managed to get out of drs of eachother

-rain was expected around lap 6. because its silverstone. and its always raining around here.

-this was great news for mercedes because they really like cooler conditions

-it was bad news tho for anyone trying to stick to a tire strategy, because the lack of Precise news when the rain would hit made it hard to determine when and if intermediate tires would be needed at all

-lap 18 was when the pit stop window was set to open, but pretty much everyone stayed out, maintaining their pace to hold out for inters because the rain was supposed to hit at any moment

-the rain started on lap 14

-and lando was closing on max for third. he was .657 off

-he passed max on lap 15 on the straight, very clean and orderly and nothing like austria

-so it was raining

-we had george out in front, with lewis 1.546 seconds behind, lando 3.015 seconds behind him, and 1.062 seconds behind him and oscar 1.218 seconds behind him.

-drs was still active and oscar had drs on max

-he passed max on lap 17 for fourth

-and then lewis passed george on lap 18 for first

-at this point it was pretty damn wet on track

-and everyone was still on their slicks (tires meant for a dry track)

-so things were getting slippery

-so slippery that both mercedes manages to go off track, allowing lando to pass gorge for second on lap 19

-and drs was turned off because of the low grip

-this did not stop the mclarens, who were here with an absolute vengence

-lando passed lewis for p1 on lap 20 and then immediately oscar passed george for p2

-so we had a mclaren mercedes mclaren mercedes and then max. and it was raining.

-people started to box for intermediate tires, namely charles and checo. this would be a mistake.

-oscar passed george for p2

-the top four was running pretty close together, which would be vital later on

-lando was on p1, 1.389 seconds behind him was oscar in p2, then 1.047 seconds behind him was lewis in p3 and .927 seconds behind him was george in p4

-lewis was offered intermediate tires on lap 21. he said no. it was too early. he was correct.

-checo came on the radio on lap 22 and conformed this, saying that "its too dry man, its too fucking dry" for intermediate tires (this is because the intermediate and the wet tires look like normal car tires, with treads to push the water away and when youre going super fucking fast this just causes the car to slide around if you have no water to push out of the way)

-also having this problem were esteban, charles, and zhou who had all put on intermediate tires

-theyre "all living on a prayer at the moment" crofty said. and they were

-esteban pitted for medium tires. charles stayed out, in true baffling ferrari fashion

-charles went off the track on lap 25. and he was starting to get lapped.

-"its too early for inters" oscar said on lap 26. and as charles was proving, he was still correct

-but by lap 27 it was definitely time for inters

-first max and carlos pitted (yes, charles had been put on inters but carlos had not been. interesting), then lando pitted, but oscar was too close to him (only .304 behind him) so they couldnt double stack the cars because oscar would loose too much time in the pits, so they left him out an extra lap on the slicks (which turned out to be a bad call), mercedes did a flawless double stack

-max's pit got him a little closer back towards the front

-which meant only one thing

-it was hammer time

-aka when lewis absolutely fucking sends the shit out of it

-so after the pit stops on lap 30 we had

-lando, +3.115 lewis, +4.353 max, +3.012 george, +3.011 carlos, +4.983 oscar

-everyones tires were starting to degrade, oscars were not because he did one extra lap on them, but he was 19 seconds behind lando

-the rain was supposed to last until lap 40

-charles pitted for another set of inters

-on lap 34 george was told to retire the car, seemingly out of nowhere

-"shit, fuck" he said over the radio

-"amen to that, i'll see if i can figure out what happened" ted said

-aparently it was a water systems issue. the car wasnt cooling itself properly and would have exploded if it had kept going

-"george russell is the only person to be affected by a lack of water issue in silverstone today" crofty said. and he was right. but we didnt have time to think about that because things were happening

-things were that lewis was closing in on lando. he was 2.058 seconds off on lap 36

-lando was loosing time. but he had an extra set of mediums. mercedes only had softs and hards. this was good for lando. he could still hold first if he pitted for the right tire at the right time

-lewis boxed on lap 38 for softs

-max boxed on lap 39 for hards

-oscar pitted on lap 39 for mediums

-and lando pitted on lap 40 for softs

-why did he do this when the preferred tire was a medium? no one knows. he was given the choice and aparently he picked softs

-lando also had a slow stop. he spent 4.5 seconds in the pit box.

-lando came out in second, behind lewis

-"norris same tire" bono, lewis's race engineer said to him. "leave me to it mate" lewis said.

-so we had a three way battle. lewis was 2.520 seconds ahead of lando who was 3.273 seconds ahead of max. anyone could win it

-and it became very clear, very quickly, that lando had chosen the wrong tire to win the race on

-still, lewis was holding lando somehow around 2.5 seconds behind him on lap 46

-by lap 47 though max had gotten within drs range of lando

-there were five laps to go

-"if youve got any finger nails left i would be utterly amazed" crofty said

-but no one was listening to him because max managed to pass lando on lap 48

-by lap 49 max was 3.349 seconds behind lewis and closing, but it became clear that he didnt have quite enough time to pass lewis

-sainz and perez both pitted on lap 51 for softs to try and get the fastest lap

-but lewis was still holding out in front

-heading into the last lap max was 2.760 seconds behind him. he didnt have enough to pass

-it was "prime lewis hamilton in his prime real estate" (according to ted) as he zoomed towards the finish

-"DONT CALL IT A COMEBACK, HE'S BEEN HERE FOR YEARS" alex jaques yelled as lewis crossed the line

-he had done it!

-LEWIS HAMILTON WON THE 2024 SILVERSTONE GP!!!!!

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-now why was this a big deal?

-well

-*cracks knuckles*

-the last time lewis hamilton won was in saudi arabia in 2021, it was his 103rd victory (at that point he had already surpassed schumachers 91 win record)

-with this victory at silverstone lewis

-became the first driver to win after their 300th start in f1 (other drivers with over 300 starts for context here include rubens barrichello, michael schumacher, jenson button, fernando alonso and kimi raikkonen) (this was lewis's 344th start)

-became the oldest winner of the 21st century (39 years and 182 days)

-now held the longest gap between first and last wins (17 years and 1 month)

-held the record for most wins at a single circuit (9) (he previously shared this record with schumacher)

-became the driver to have the most podiums at a single circuit (15)

-became the driver to have the most consecutive podiums at a single circuit (12)

-extended his record for most podiums (199)

-and extended his record for most wins (104)

-it was also his 150th podium with mercedes

-and since mercedes also won in austria with george, they are now the first team other than red bull to win back to back in the last 3 seasons

-also we have now had six whole different race winners in one season, and it was the first time since 2022 that max has gone more than one race without a win

-in any case, it was a very important race for lewis, and he was very emotional over his win, as he should be, because it shows that he still had it. which was really important for him after getting essentially robbed of his 8th world title in abu dhabi 2021 cause of the safety car call and all of that

-he was incredibly emotional getting out of the car, hugging his dad and doing his immediate post interview

-jenson button hosted the post race interviews and he and lewis were actually teammates at mclaren years ago. jenson was also pretty much basically crying interviewing lewis while lewis was also crying.

-"ive never seen you this emotional after a race" jenson said. "yeah...i just cant stop crying...i wanted to win so much for them...forever grateful to everyone at mercedes," lewis said. "it's been 2.5 years since you've won a race, i need thought we'd say that about you" jenson said. "you gotta continue to dig deep even when youre at the bottom of the barrel" lewis said

-he elaborated on this later in the press conference

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-as an aside here, pretty much everyone in the world congratulated lewis on his win, but the one that i am going to highlight was sebastian vettel's instagram story

-people were pretty quick to point out that the capitalization and the periods make it very likely that seb himself posted this and not whoever runs his ig account

-and nico rosberg! who we know was there! was entirely silent on the whole ordeal! even though he predicted it! did he break the rosberg curse or is lewis just immune to it? we may never know

-anyway

-despite his emotions, he was still able to absolutely pick apart exactly what went wrong with lando's race in the cool down room

-"you stayed out too long" lewis said. "you could've gone on mediums...wouldve been faster probably"

-this only managed to fuel lando's epic sulk fest that was happening in the cool down too,

-and lewis was right, mclaren absolutely fucked up the call at the end there. they could have had probably a double podium if they had double stacked oscar and put lando on the mediums

-this didnt stop lando though from making oscar do a shoe post race with his own shoe, and then chucking oscars shoe into the crowd

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-max though, decided to shit on mclarens shit strategy it post race

-another team with abysmal calls this weekend was none other than ferrari

-"I am not feeling good, it's too much now. it's too many races, i dont know what to say anymore when i come here. we just have to reset as a team but yeah, there is always a different reason why it doesn't click" charles said post race

-he also filmed his post race ferrari video inside, out of his race gear and it was clearly scripted, which was Highly Unusual

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-fred, the team principal, claimed that both charles and carlos were given the same information about the rain and the tire choice. "we gave the drivers the same infos on track conditions, but charles and carlos were in different parts of the track. carlos was copying max's race while charles was behind stroll and 10 seconds behind. this made the team and charles make a decision."

-people who watched the driver view and listened to the team radios disagreed.

-charles was told "heavy rain on next lap" and carlos was told "chance of rain in sector 3"

-pretty immediately after the race, ferrari released this team statement

-ok now there was a lot that happened in the post race show, it was actually a very good post race show but unfortunately i am sleepy and wont talk about all of it

-tldr: alpine was a shit show, checo continues to not impress (and red bull were testing liam lawson the week after, the team dont have anything to loose really by putting a different driver in so Why Wouldn't They?), logan had a great performance (ended p11 but it could be too little too late, mclaren continue to have strategy problems as do ferrari, aston seems to have fixed their car a little cause they didnt suck, haas absolutely slayed in fact they kinda slayed better than ferrari did and nice was on pace with max at one point

-and they talked about the f1 movie

-essentially theres an f1 movie coming out next year with brad pitt and damson idris and they've filmed some of it at races and stuff actually they filmed some interviews at the paddock in silverstone while some of the drivers (lando) were having the worst time and it was pure comedy

-anyway. the trailer for it came out and no i havent watched it but. lewis hamilton is a producer of the film, aparently hes been pretty involved and well. first of all they interviewed the director of the film who pretty much said that basically everything that is in the movie has happened in real life. and well lets take a look here

-here we have our two main characters right

-and then here we have mercedes in 2015 ish (lewis hamilton and nico rosberg, fmaously in the thick of their rivalry)

-were all seeing this? right????

-lewis hamilton what the hell are you up to buddy

-they interviewed lewis's dad at one point, which i will talk about. antony said that "i know lewis and as far as im concerned he still has everything he needs to run at the top...when lewis gives his best he usually ends up with the win...its the dams that come to the british gp.... you never know what youre going to get there but you do get a spectacle"

-and will buxton closed out the post race show with this, which i will leave you all with:

"we said we could whisper it a few weeks ago, now we can shout it, f1 2024: we have got a season!"

-see you all in budapest

(also ps this post is now long enough that i cant see reblogs so if theres anything you want me to know or see put it in the replies)

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[anewbrainjughead]

I’m Scotland anon! We’re flying into Inverness and driving to visit my sister who’s living outside Aberdeen. It would be cool to know a couple good places to go, but also any tips to not embarrass myself as a tourist?? Ty!

Hi! I'm going to be honest, i haven't spent a ton of time up the north end of the country, at least not for a good few years, so i'm afraid i don't have a ton of insight on what places to go around aberdeen, especially if you're looking for nightlife and the like. I know that inverness has a castle and a really cool bookshop called Leakey's and thats about it. I've been to aberdeen exactly 3 times and all i remember about it was that the sea had foam so thick and yellow that it looked like old mattresses and that the seagulls there are massive hulking mutants who run that city through intimidation and stolen chips

I'm not sure whether you're planning on spending most of your time in the city or if you want to see more of the country, but there's some lovely countryside around the north/northeast. Stonehaven is a really nice picturesque seaside town about half an hour from aberdeen. There's a castle/ruins you can take a tour of, and tbh there's few things more scottish than eating ice cream and chips on a beach on a cold day, assuming you're going to be visiting sometime between now and like april lol. If you have the time it's worth checking out some of the islands. Skye is beautiful and one of the closer islands to aberdeen. I think there's a pretty regular ferry from there to the mainland and its less than an hour journey.

(i'm about to go on a food rant sorry) Scotland definitely isn't renowned for its food, but if you are looking to eat 'traditional' scottish food then the best thing to get is fish/seafood. You can get some really good, really fresh stuff in seafood shacks by the beach, but also just in restaurants in any coastal town/city, though i'd make sure to look at locals reviews on google so you don't get ripped off. Scotland is overall pretty good for vegan/vegetarian food too, and we have a lot of really solid indian restaurants and takeaways, which i'd def recommend. Honestly scotland's best culinary offerings are probably curry, ice cream, and whiskey. Also if you find a sweet shop (or more likely a newsagents selling old fashioned sweets) you should try soor plooms, these bright green boiled sweets (or hard candies if you're american).

I really don't think you need to be worrying about embarrassing yourself, i promise you that as long as you have basic human courtesy and aren't super condescending about scottish accents/culture nobody will be bothered by you. I will say that aberdonian accents, and accents around that part of the country are really fucking weird and not very similiar to any of the accents you'd likely have heard on tv, which tend to lean more towards a stereotypical highlands or glaswegian accent, so if you're alarmed by how people talk you aren't going crazy, they just do talk like that. I doubt this will come up, but scottish ppl might get pissy if you mispronounce certain things. Like scottish gaelic is pronounced gah-lick not gay-lick, edinburgh is pronounced edin-bruh, and glasgow is pronounced glaz-go. Also never refer to scotland as being a part of or the same as england, and generally don't refer to scottish people as british. Not everyone will be offended by being considered british, but it's generally a sore spot for people, and the english thing is just plain wrong. Also if you're american and have scottish ancestry its perfectly fine to be excited about being in scotland but if you're too enthusiastic about it people will give you the side eye and think you're obnoxious tbh

sorry i couldn't be more of a help, i actually would have advice about travelling around the middle/south of the country but i'm not sure whether you're planning on travelling down that far and i've already rambled on way too much. If you are thinking of travelling further down the country, especially around edinburgh or glasgow i would be happy to give more salient advice on where to go and what to do. I hope this helped in some way at least :) I really hope you have a good trip nonetheless

[whimsysalesman]

Tag Game

tagged by @seiya-starsniper. I know I just did one of these like a couplefew weeks ago but its fun so Im doing it again :3

Last song: Four Hours performed by the Longest Johns

Favourite colour: Im gonna be pretentious and name a color that doesn't really exist. My favorite color is the yellow of sunshine shining through tree leaves. It's technically green, but im talking about the several degrees of yellowfication the leaves undergo when backlit by the afternoon sun.

Currently reading: Still working on my OALC re-read (thanks again @deadcatwithaflamethrower!) though I'm now on book 8 where previously I was on book 6 the last time I did one of these

Currently watching: Had a craving for junk TV the other day and pirated every season of Kitchen Nightmares, so thats what I'm working on rn. Was delighted to find that the early british seasons are... kinder? Less "Idiot Sandwhich haha" than the later american reality TV stuff. Less of that water bowl screech sound effect, too, which I appreciate.

Current obsession: Sandman still owns my ass, but I am getting back into Critical Role campaign 2, as well. Been in the mood for familair comforting media and it doesn't get more familiar than the parasocial friendships I developed with a bunch of fictional suspicious assholes.

Currently working on: packing to move! I'm moving out of my parents house in like 2 weeks! Thats fucking terrifying! exciting, but AAAA

Last series: Good Omens. Did 1/3 of a puzzle and got wrecked by season 2 last week

Last movie: Django Unchained, I think. SO fucking good, and I want to turn that dentist in a dnd character posthaste.

[maddness-time-bby]

[In case anyone can't read the screenshots of Rachel being a dickhead from the early 2000s, here's what they say: ]

Help your comic pages won't come up. It must be your fault! *waaaaa waaaa* No its not my fault and playing the blame game helps no one. It's either a) you have a crappy browser or b) you have "Norton Personal Firewall"

Ummmmm, I can't get to the other pages? or how do I turn the page? Ok, look under the latest page, it says "The first comic previous comic" Click "The first comic" if you want to go to the very beginning. The it will say "Next comic Today's comic" Next comic will take you to the next page in the story. Today's comic will take you to the latest page I've done(we were there at the start, remember?) Now for "Previous comic" it takes you to the page I did before the latest page and so on. If you feel the need to read my comic backwards this is the thing for you.

Your pages are too Big/small/hard to read/smelly. I cannot please everybody so I simply do what I please with my comic. every body thinks their a damn typography expert on the net, so unless you have a degree in Computer graphics... FUCK OFF.

Art Trade? Ermmmm I dunno. I'll do them sometimes. Email me and be ready to provide a bio and a picture of the character you want. DONT just tell me the name of the character and give me the address to your comic. I'm on dial up, I don't have the time to read through your whole damn comic, trying to find the character. Lastly don't say sometimes like "Don't draw nipples showing through the fabric" or something along those lines. If you have something against nipplage your asking the wrong artist. But yeah, I do art trades sometimes. :p

Please draw my character? Nothing comes for free baby doll. You don't have to pay me(that would be nice though) You have to offer me something back eg.. promotion, fan art. Don't you think its kinda rude to ask for free art? When you're not even my friend? If you have something to offer something can be arranged though. "If you be stroken Mama, Mama be stoken you"

R18? I'm not saying you have to be over 18 to be reading this. Its just a warning. Even though I'm not that far into the story it does have some fairly heavy stuff in it. People do have a right to know that what their reading may feature huge cock at random. what if he or she has kids running around in the background or something. Frankly, I don't find the human body offensive. But I try to respect other peoples views.

Why do you have typos? Yes, believe it or not I speak English. (English- New Zealand not English- American) Remember... not everyone cares about spelling. And frankly, if go around pointing out spelling mistakes in peoples comics you have an issue. Plus I'm dyslexic you insensitive ass!

Some of the pages are not working for me... Thats not my fault, thats Keenspace being odd. And I don't plan to move my comic off Keenspace anytime soon. Keenspace is a good free service. I hope this has helped you... sorry if I sounded grumpy. I'm not really mean. If you still stuck just email me.

[Please note that I've left all spelling as it was in the screenshots, this isn't me making fun of Rachel's spelling]

You mentioned multiple times that Persephone is a self insert of Rachel, how is that so?

Also, I love Lore Rekindled

So obviously it's not like Rachel herself has outright stated that Persephone is a self-insert, but there's a lot of narrative and visual evidence that points to this being so.

Disclaimer before I continue: a lot of this is speculation, take it with grains of salt, but understand that all of the following evidence is why so many people subscribe to the idea that Rachel is using Persephone as a self-insert power fantasy, myself included. This is going to be a long post.

First, the most obvious - Rachel and Persephone look virtually identical, especially when Persephone's hair is short. In a way that's not even reaching at this point, like there are times when Persephone literally looks like she was traced directly off Rachel's face. It's panels like these where you don't even have to squint or fill in the blanks with your own interpretations, Persephone literally looks like Rachel.

There was also that time she dyed her hair pink and her own audience called out how she looked like Persephone (unironically for the most part, which goes to show how much the implications of Persephone being a self-insert of Rachel has gone over their heads, sigh)

She's also made absurd claims in interviews that Persephone and Hades were her "muses" since all the way back in middle school.

I say these claims are 'absurd' because frankly I just don't think that's true, there's nothing from her early-mid 2000's online presence (which is still accessible via the Wayback Machine) that suggests she was into Greek myth content, most of her stuff from back then was medical fetish and lolita art and not a single piece of Greek work is mentioned on any of her profile bios, favorite book lists, or interests, not even once you get to the 2010's when she started shifting away from blatant medical fetish art and more towards marketable storybook-style art.

(she definitely mentions Lolita though 😒)

I firmly believe she's just making up that whole "Persephone and Hades were my muses" thing the same way she's made up her 'folklorist' label to hide the fact that she has no connection to Greek myth whatsoever and was just creating LO on a whim during the era of Hades x Persephone shipping prompts that were popular on Tumblr at the time. It just so happened to become massively popular so she stuck with it and tried to pretend like she always loved Greek myth as a way to justify her success when really it was just luck and circumstance.

But we can go further back than that.

You see, Rachel also really... really likes Mads Mikkelson. Like, beyond just enjoying his work and entering teenage girl obsessive cringe territory. I wouldn't be calling it out if she was a teenage girl or even a young adult, but she isn't - she's thirty seven years old.

Mads Mikkelson is, of course, her dream cast for Hades, and when you see how she views Mads Mikkelson, the rest practically writes itself.

But we can go even further back than that.

Because, you see, Rachel has old art accounts from long before Lore Olympus. Normally I try to avoid posting a lot of this stuff because it's very much old skeletons that we usually understand to leave buried, but this particular piece is very relevant to this discussion.

'Madame issue' was the screenname of her account where this drawing comes from. You may also notice this is very likely where the name 'used bandaid' came from. This character is meant to be Rachel. It was very common for her to draw herself with short pink hair back then and it seems that's barely changed now.

Just wanna also throw it out there real quick that Rachel's birthday is March 21st. Guess what date Rachel chose to make Persephone's birthday? Oh yeah, the first day of Spring, literally March 20th. Which shouldn't even exist yet as Lore Olympus is based on The Hymn to Demeter which outlines the creation of the season. But I digress.

Now, this may be a little irrelevant and nitpicky, but to circle back around to the point I made earlier about her not having any genuine connection to Greek myth, Rachel seems to have always behaved like this, in a way that tries to 'hide' the fact that she's not 'legit'. There are old FAQ's from her art pages that answer questions she's asking herself in a very arrogant "how dare you ask me this" kind of way. Like, she claims to have imposter syndrome, which I'm not saying is a lie, but if she does, she definitely uses blind arrogance as a way to cover up for it. It reeks of early 2000's 'mean because it's cool to be mean' energy and that seems to be an attitude that she hasn't left behind in the early 2000's where it belongs - she's just channeled it into 'girl boss' Persephone instead.

It's become abundantly clear after going through old LO asks/livejournal/flickr/etc. posts that Rachel herself 1.) romanticizes purity culture (again, like the Greek myth 'self-proclaimed folklorist' thing, she's trying to claim she's 'deconstructing' purity culture when her actual beliefs are the exact opposite), 2.) values naivety and youthfulness vs. experience and wisdom, especially with how she talks about Persephone and 3.) constantly tries to act like a 'boss babe' similarly to Persephone.

There's also the fact that the time skip perfectly aligned Persephone's age to be in the same range as Rachel - she's now 30 to Rachel's 37. The time skip didn't have to be exactly ten years, if it was purely to retcon the age gap problems then she could have made it far longer, but she made it specifically 10 years and I feel like it can't be a coincidence when we consider how close in age Persephone and Rachel now are. Recalling that earlier point that Rachel seems to be obsessed with naivety and youthfulness, she probably didn't like the idea of making Persephone 40 because that would be too "old".

That's not even getting into the actual way that Persephone is written. This is the part where I say there's nothing inherently wrong with writing self-inserts, even famous authors do it, but the issue lies in authors writing them as power fantasies and not actual fleshed out characters. Persephone is not a fleshed out character. She does not have flaws - at least none that are recognized as flaws - and she never loses. She does whatever Rachel wants her to do on a whim even if it contradicts previous actions or information we've been shown. Sometimes she's an inexperienced "uwu" teenage girl, other times she's attempting to be a 'boss babe' (but really it just comes across as her acting like a Karen.)

All that said, it's not uncommon for poorly written self-inserts to lack consistent characterization because the author is too hopped up on writing them to fulfill their fantasies, even if those fantasies don't align with pre-existing information. There's also the fact that Persephone herself never suffers any consequences for her actions, even when she's in the wrong, and terrible things that happen to her are more for the sympathy of the audience and less for actual character development, depth, or underlying meaning. The comic's universe and the characters that reside within it bend around Persephone and her wants and needs, and this is something that happens with poorly-written self-inserts a lot especially when they're being written purely as power fantasies and not actual character studies or reflections. Nothing bad will ever happen to Persephone, she'll never suffer real consequences for her actions, and she'll never make any real sacrifices, because Persephone is Rachel and Rachel can't write Persephone separate from herself.

This kind of goes hand in hand with the whole "she didn't make Persephone 40+ because then she'd be too old" thing, but I'd also like to mention real quick that Rachel has never written a female character who isn't like this. All of her main characters from all of her works are women, which is perfectly fine in isolation, but they're all written as the exact same woman, sharing traits of naivety, inexperience, youthfulness and innocence. None of her female characters are over the age of 21. Making Persephone a "doesn't know she's sexy" 19 year old who's often drawn very childlike was very intentional as it's the exact same kind of character she's been drawing for years now, and the fact that she's 30 now is simply Rachel trying to retcon the problematic age gap that she got called out on; with the added bonus that it makes Persephone even more like Rachel.

No, Rachel has never directly confessed to Persephone being a self-insert, but I don't think someone like Rachel - who already speaks with a veil of disingenuous arrogance - would admit to it anyways. The writing is on the wall: how she's written Persephone and every female protagonist who has preceded her is a deliberate choice based around Rachel's own beliefs and values - that women are only desirable when they're young and thin, that the "ideal man" is someone who's above everyone else in power, wealth, and status and will and should use that power, wealth, and status to get what they want, and that women should be as cute and innocent as they can be until any degree of opposition or questioning comes their way, in which they are justified in exercising outright cruelty and abuse towards those in their way, with no in-between.

And that's all I'm gonna say on that.