#but nothing changed and people still want to be my friends

[theotherchaospixel]

Her voice boomed, echoed, reverberated across time.

Truth be told, it was really boring. Infinity is just one of those things humans don't understand right. Before I did anything, there was nothing. Nothing, nothing, & more nothing. An infinite nothing. A lot of it. I'm sure you've written before.

Yeah? So what if I have? I could feel Her invisible hand pointing my head down, toward the rock at my feet. A pebble, really, and that was an overstatement.

I'm sure you're aware of the pit in your stomach that grows as you stare at an empty page. Imagine that feeling, multiplied by 6.

I stifled a laugh. Why 6? I could feel Her roll their eyes, if She had eyes, if there were eyes to speak of anywhere, and after a moment, the rock looked at me. With the eyes it didn't have.

It took 6 days before I even started thinking about doing anything, obviously! On the 7th, just before I resolved to spend the next week making life, time, space, the void, stars, nebulae, galaxies, & of course, Saturn, I looked at my clock & panicked, realizing how close to the date I was.

I couldn't quite make sense of what She was telling me. Days? Clock? Date? I thought time didn't exist before that week.

It didn't.

That was where Her thought ended. Silence fell across the plane, across the gaping canyon before me, after me, around me. Minutes passed, centuries passed, empires fell to dust; the rock at my feet wore away into nothing then reconstituted itself. It had been about 5 seconds.

Confusing, I know. That's how the art of creation tends to be. It gets hard to know where you end & the art begins.

None of this really answered my question. What was the nothing like? I could feel the inferno in Her heart, the tsunamis in Her eyes, the earthquakes in Her feet, the tornados in Her hands, as she fidgeted. I'm getting on Her nerves. Not great. I know She's my friend, but making a friend mad was always the last thing I wanted.

The first 6 days were boring, the 7th was stressful, what you want from me, Larry?!?

What was it like though?!? Were you hungry? Did you do it because you wanted to, or because you had to? Her voice echoed again. It was my voice. The rock nudged my feet a bit.

Why do you do anything? Because you have to, or because you want to, or because you need to?

The rock looked up at me again. It wasn't mine before, but somehow, it was now. It was always Hers, but there was something else there now, something ineffable. A love, almost. She sighed. The clouds parted & danced.

On the first day, before time began, there was nothing. It was dark. Second day, same as the first. You get the idea. A whole lot of nothing, but not like when you look up into the night sky and see the spaces between stars nothing; more like when you go to sleep and dream sweet nothings, that kind of nothing. It was like that all seven days, really.

I didn't understand. Things happened in dreams, after all; they were far from nothing. And reading my mind like a book, She continued.

You know how, when you stare at a blank page for long enough, you can see small designs, patterns in the pulp that made it? How if you stare at the floor for long enough, you can see pictures, stories that never happened? How when you look up at the clouds, you see things within them, even though you know that they're just random formations of dust & water vapor? Imagine the page, the patterns, the clouds required in order to see everything that ever was, ever is, & ever will be. Imagine the detail & size of the floor required in order to see all that ever might be. Now, take a step back. It's a blank canvas again. Focus on any part, and you could see everything. People come & go. Empires rise & fall. Seasons change. Time goes on. Step back again, and it's still a blank canvas. Infinite possibility, if you can only bring yourself to paint. Once I had the canvas, it took me several days just gather up the gall to do anything with it, and a whole other day to figure out what. An infinity of possibility, a true, endless ocean of choices.

And this is what you came up with?

Yeah. Pretty cool, right?

I wasn't impressed. And as if She knew it, Her deft, invisible hand pushed my head down to the rock once more.

Look at this pebble. Not impressive, right? Hardly bigger than an eraser. But it's been around the world three separate times. And inside it once. I mean, if you count all of it as one thing, and I know you do. A bit of sand off the coast of what you know now as California, 40 billion years ago, drifted off to sea. Decades later, it washed up on the shore of what is currently Japan. It sat there for a while, as more bits of sand slowly built on top of it. Just a couple million years. Then slowly, over several million more years, the winds carried it across the continent, inch by inch, molecule by molecule. It ended up inside a volcano for a few millennia. And now it's here. Really, it's basically a whole different rock than it started, but it never changed in big swathes. So, that's neat. Billions of years, all to get here, to be in the same room as you & me.

But what was Her point?

My point is that I really can't explain to you what it was like before I made everything. I could swarm you with half a trillion analogies & metaphors & anecdotes & stories, but I'll never be able to explain it to you in full. But if you've written - & I know you have, Larry, you scoundrel, writing things like that - but if you've written, I think you get it. If you've painted, or knit, or drawn, or coded, or sewn, or sung, or played or danced or thrashed or cooked, you get it. Before there is anything, there is love & a dream, and you'd be amazed how far that can take you.

.

.

.

.

.

So it was kinda boring?

Yeah it was kinda boring.

"Hey god?" "Yes, Larry?" "You existed before the universe, right? And supposedly always existed?" "Yes, that's true." "What was infinity like, before you made the universe?" "Ah. Not one human has asked me that before. Well, I guess it's time I tell someone about before the first 7 days."

[essycogany]

Sonic And Amy Are A Unique Couple

This is a quick Sonamy rant /ramble session. With a few added clarifications too. Enjoy!

This couple is more unique than you’d think. It’s cool if anyone disagrees. I'm all for a polite debate and respect your opinion. But if you're willing to hear me out, I'll be willing to explain myself as clearly as possible. Great? Awesome! Let’s get started!

Amy doesn't want to change Sonic. I will scream this until I'm not able to speak any more that Amy loves Sonic for who he is. She always has but it wasn't until IDW that she expressed it out loud. Still one of my favorite moments between them.

Does that make their relationship unique? Not really. What makes their relationship unique is what Amy loves about Sonic is kind of the reason they're not a couple yet. Sonic is an ongoing force that can’t be stopped or changed. Of course, he’ll allow someone to join him on a race, but he still keeps going. Not to say Sonic won’t stop to smell the roses (pun not intended) but he’ll do it on his own time. Amy always likes to take advantage of those moments and best of all, Sonic doesn’t mind. Even during their old chases, he’d slow down for her. Says a lot about the connection they have but there’s more

Their chemistry is…something for lack of a better term. Their back and forth is so interesting to me. Sonic does like Amy back. Notable examples here but to put it shortly, Sonic doesn’t know what he’s doing when it comes to romance. Sometimes he’s not into it and other times he’s chill. Sometimes Amy is ecstatic and other times she's bashful. I'm looking at you Sonic X.

Every time Amy’s occupied, is when Sonic wants her the most. Amy on the other hand wants Sonic to enjoy his freedom. Neither of them stops to think about how maybe they can have it both ways.

I'll also mention romance isn’t about “being tied down.” That paints romance as if it’s some kind of chain being rapt around your neck or being forced to be with the person. That is not romance. It’s keeping someone hostage. Something Amy would not do. Every time she’d joke around about marrying him Sonic didn’t take it seriously. Heroes included.

Sonic’s line in Heros: “Amy, knock it off. There's no time to play!” Dude knows Amy was messing with him. She was written to be girly, childish, adventurous, and cartoony. No, it wasn’t always executed well. Hello, Sonic Freeriders Amy! But I think this scene summons it up the best.

Important thing to mention as well is Sonic is an outspoken and honest character who rarely lies. It’s either you get the truth or you get nothing. He’s not the type to spare people’s feelings either, so if he had a problem with Amy in the past, he’d tell her directly. I do think she'd also stop if he genuinely told her to. The last thing Amy would want is to tarnish their friendship because of her actions. This loyal girl is so sweet.

Not to mention this is a popular trope in Japan too. The trope was what their relationship was based on.

Back to my original point Sonic and Amy aren’t a traditional couple. That’s a good thing. If they became canon their relationship wouldn’t change if they got together, but also they don’t need labels either. Romance isn’t or shouldn’t be a burden on you. That’s not how love works and that’s not what Sonic believes Amy to be. If that’s the case he wouldn’t be friends with her. Whether you ship Sonic with Amy, someone else, or no one, there should be no doubt Sonic values her friendship.

I’ll also add that Amy is just as up for an adventure as Sonic is. It’s why she loves him so much. They’re a power couple and love going out to travel, so there’s no staying in one place for these two.

In Sonic Adventure 2 you can tell Amy’s intuition when it comes to Sonic. Close to the end, she saw him looking a bit down and noticed his mood shifting a bit. “What’s the matter, Sonic?” “Oh, it’s nothing.” She knows him so well. I don't know what connection they run on but it’s inspiring.

These two don’t have a typical girl/boy relationship. I know some people say, “Well, why can't Sonic and Amy stay friends? Not every male and female relationship needs to be romantic.” You're 100% correct. Here are some examples.

The difference between other relationships is that Amy was created to be a Minnie to Sonic’s Mickey. Which is why these two are treated differently compared to others. Including in merch. There are more examples but I digress. The point is this specific pair is always going to have nuance even if they’re only friends. It doesn’t stop until Amy doesn’t love Sonic and even if it shouldn’t define her, it should still be a part of her. She might work without romance, but we already have other amazing female characters for that.

No one’s obligated to ship them because of this of course. Again, your opinion is still valid, and I will always stick to that point.

Last but not least is their friendship (or situationship) as a whole.

The funny thing is their friendship is what makes their romance the most compelling. The appeal to Sonic and Amy’s dynamic is how much platonic energy they have. Romance doesn’t always mean you need to be lovey-dovey. With Sonamy it’s their powerful friendship that makes the (somewhat not platonic) interactions memorable. You don’t have to choose romantic or platonic. It can be both. I wouldn't be a Sonamy fan if I didn't think their relationship was plain. I'm here because of how different they are.

And I love them to bits. Look at this panel and tell me it isn't running with situationship fuel.

Another fun detail is in recent years despite knowing Amy still loves him, Sonic hugs her back. Even the moments in Sonic X he carries her are moments he offers to. Even when it wasn't necessary.

Can’t forget about the recent asking Amy out to a dinner panel in IDW. He's never done that before. There's a familiarity between the two of them however you look at it. I LOVE them for it.

His moments of genuinely being excited to see her are not due to some development but because Sonic’s passion for Amy has noticeably increased. Why am I bringing these up? It’s because one thing that hasn’t been talked about when it comes to romance is actions. Sure, Sonic doesn't fully confess his feelings to her outwardly. But why do you have to be obvious and in people’s face when it comes to loving someone? In Japan, love is mostly shown through what you do more than what you say. That stuff can happen there but it doesn't always have to. The “Sharing an Umbrella, Amy,” line in Frontiers carries a lot more weight when you think about the implications.

Please read this post by @egalitarian-tomboy if you're interested in the implications of Sonamy in Frontiers.

The up-to-interpretation view of whatever they have together is the main reason I and so many people ship them. It’s not the fact that they are close, but the progression of their closeness. To make a long story short, the appeal of Sonamy is the fact that they don’t have to be traditionally romantic to be an interesting couple. Amy represents expressive love and Sonic represents emotional love.

Stay creative! 💜

[nakylvr]

— BACK TO ME

daniela avanzini x fem!reader

summary જ⁀➴ after an argument breaks out and hurtful things are thrown, you leave for a few days, and daniela realizes just how much she needs you

warnings/tags જ⁀➴ angst with happy ending, language, established relationship, dealer!dani au, arguments

now playing જ⁀➴ back to me by the rose

things had been straining recently. with tax season coming up you spent most of your days after work trying to figure out how to not get completely fucked over and get a ton of money taken out. you also got promoted at your job, which was both a blessing and a curse. more money was always a good thing, but your patience was already wearing thin when the argument started.

you had just gotten home, wanting nothing more than to relax when you realized daniela wasn't in the apartment. too tired, you shrug it off and lay down on the couch, still in your work clothes, not bothering to change. you ended up falling asleep faster than you anticipated.

when the front door opened, it was dark outside. you could hear it, but you couldn't find it in you to get up.

"yn?" daniela's voice is heard quietly. "what are you doing on the couch?"

you hum, opening your eyes groggily and looking up at her. "where were you?" you mumble.

"had to run out real quick," she answers. "come on, let's go to bed."

"for hours?" you say before you can think.

daniela's expression changes at your words, but you don't notice past the dark in the room. "i needed to do some stuff," she responds. "i'm sorry." she doesn't know why she's saying it. most likely out of fear that this conversation will spiral out of control after all the bullshit that happened earlier in the year. she doesn't want a fight right now, and she's trying to keep it from happening.

"who were you with?" you ask, slowly sitting up.

"minji," daniela answers truthfully. "she needed some help getting a gift for hanni, then she came with me for a deal that i had to do on the way back."

your eyebrows furrowed together, looking back at her. "you let her go along with you?" you inquired.

"yeah?" dani replies, but it comes out unsure. "i knew you were getting off work late and i didn't want to bother you."

"but you let minji go with you?" you press. "you told me i was the only one."

"well, yes. but minji's my close friend, i–"

"didn't see anything wrong with it?" you cut her off. "cause it looks a little weird when all your clients know me and then you show up with some other girl that's not me? let me guess, you saw keeho?"

"how did you–" daniela gets cut off again by you talking over her.

"he texted me," you tell her. "asking, and i quote 'who this random chick' is with you instead of me. so it's not just me thinking i'm crazy."

"i didn't say you were crazy," daniela quickly says, shaking her head. "baby, please, this isn't that serious. you know minji."

"but other people don't," you respond. "what if it wasn't keeho?"

"i-" daniela stops herself, taking a breath. "this is the only time i've brought someone other than you."

"but why?" you stand up from the couch, making daniela take a few steps backwards. "you're the one who tells me that you don't let anyone go because you don't want them to see, but minji is just a different story or something?"

"it's one time!" daniela says, her voice raising slightly. "why does it matter?"

"why does it matter?" you repeat. "you tell me, daniela. you tell me." you cross your arms over your chest.

daniela is quiet for a minute, trying to think of the right thing to say to not upset you more. "i know what you're thinking, but this isn't a big deal. i let her come along because it was keeho. nothing else, no other reason," she tells you. "i promise."

"not a big deal, you keep saying that," your voice turns sharp. "what's not a big deal? that i'm reasonably concerned when you're out hours past when i got back and tell me you were doing some stuff, helping minji get a gift for hanni, and do a deal? because those are multiple different answers."

"oh my god," daniela mumbles, looking around before back at you. "yn, seriously, it's nothing."

"give me your phone," you demand.

"what?" she looks at you confused.

"consider this a phone check. give it to me." you hold your hand out.

"you're serious?" daniela asks. when you don't answer, just stare at her, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and hands it to you. "jesus christ," she grumbles under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest.

looking through the recent messages, your fingers hover over one specifically, and when you glance up from the phone to look at daniela, she feels her heart drop to her stomach at the expression on your face.

"so what? you have clients wanting to get you shit for valentines day? is that the excuse you're going to give?" you say seriously, tilting your head to the side.

"what?" daniela lets out. "no one has–"

"what's this about then?" you hold the phone towards her, showing a thread of messages.

"that's jaehyun!" daniela exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. "he's my friend!"

"and you know i don't like how close he is with you!" you retort, your voice raising. "every time we go to his place it's like i don't even exist! he's obviously hitting on you!"

"he literally isn't! he's gay!" daniela scoffs, shaking her head. "plus, he literally has a boyfriend!"

"well that didn't stop you the first time, did it?" the words come out faster than you could think.

"right," daniela scoffs again, nodding her head. "right, because it's always my fault, isn't it? i'm always the one fucking up, right?"

"yeah!" you nod. "you're the one who says you can pull anyone, and then you act like i'm fucking crazy when people are all over you and i don't like it! like it's not right for me to feel upset even though i'm your girlfriend!"

"i've never called you crazy! when have i once said that?!" daniela's voice starts getting louder, nearing the edge of yelling.

"but you look at me like it!" you end up yelling first. "like-like it's a problem that i get jealous! you're allowed to have your hands all over me when i'm with my friends when you're jealous but when you have three different girls who give you thousands of dollars each month all over you it's weird when i get defensive and jealous!? that's not fair, daniela!"

"so what? i'm supposed to just sit there while girls eye-fuck you or try to get all close?!" daniela retorts. "you don't even know! you're so fuckin' naive that you think everyone just wants to be friends!"

"naive? i'm naive?" you let out a laugh, shaking your head. "right, sorry for being nice enough to make friends who don't just want to fuck me for some shit!"

"they still want to fuck you!" daniela yells. "look at sophia! you ran to her when shit got hard and look what happened! who's telling me that you won't go run off to some other 'friend' of yours only for them to fuck you while you were still mine!"

you stop once sophia's name is spoken. daniela knew better than to bring her up after the events that happened, knowing how much you regretted your stupid decision and how bad you felt about it afterwards. but in the heat of the argument, the second the words leave daniela's mouth you're standing there in silence.

"you know what," you eventually speak up. "maybe i will."

"will what?" daniela asks, seemingly not realizing what she said and how you took it.

you shake your head, letting out a scoff. you toss her phone on the couch and walk into the bedroom, not saying another word.

"yn?" daniela sighs. "yn! what are you doing?"

a few minutes later you walk back out with a bag in your hands, making daniela's eyes go wide.

"what're you doing?" she asks.

"i'm going to jungwon's for the night," you answer simply. "or, the rest of the night, i guess."

"what?" daniela looks at you confused. "why?"

you stare at her with a deadpan expression, waiting to see if she'll notice what she said. when she clearly doesn't, you shake your head again. "because he's a friend who won't fuck me while i'm still yours. those are your words," you tell her before starting to walk to the front door.

your words make daniela realize what she said, and she immediately starts following after you to the door. "yn? yn, baby, don't be like this! i didn't mean to bring her up!"

"but you did." you swiftly turn around, causing her to abruptly stop. "you did even though we talked about it and you knew how fucked up i felt afterwards. but if this is what comes out of your mouth when we argue, then i know you're still pissed about it. so, i'm leaving for the night, or maybe a few days, i don't know." you shrug. "i know i fucked up with what i did. i regret it. but you told me it was okay. when apparently it isn't if you're bringing it up. so while i'm gone, you think about what you want, daniela. because you are on thin ice, and it's cracking. so figure it the fuck out."

you leave the apartment before daniela can get a word out, the door slamming behind you echoing through the place. she stands there for a few minutes, waiting to hear you come back, but you never do.

"god damnit," she sighs, dragging her hands over her face.

the whole remainder of the night daniela kept texting you, telling you to come back, that she was sorry and didn't mean it. but, that's how she always was whenever you two fought. and you were tired of everything right now.

when you got to jungwon's, he was surprised to see you, but when you explained the situation he immediately brought you inside and talked with you about the whole thing. he was always good with comforting others and advice. plus, he could tell you were straining yourself recently.

while daniela sat inside the apartment, moping around waiting for you to come back, still texting you as the day passed and you didn't return or respond. she knew you were upset with what she said, that was obvious. and she couldn't lie and say that the event didn't gnaw at her every fiber since she found out, even if sophia got what she deserved in the end, because it did. she knew it shouldn't. that it was a moment of vulnerability for you, that you had no one else to go to. it all spirals back to her regretting what she did in the first place to start it all.

for the whole day daniela thought of what to do, how to fix this. she sat on the couch for hours thinking of what will make you not mad at her anymore. when she got an idea.

it was day three and you still weren't responding, so daniela took matters into her own hands and texting jungwon asking if you were there. he answered truthfully, saying that he wanted her to figure it out with you so he was trying to help the most he could. so she drove over to his place.

standing in front of the door, daniela shifts her weight from one foot to the other anxiously, biting her lip in hopes that this would work. the door opens and jungwon is revealed, who smiles at her.

"hey, dani," he says. "she's in the guest room."

"thanks," daniela replies, walking past him when he opens the door wider for her.

approaching the guest room, daniela knocks on the door a few times, hearing you hum on the other end. she slowly opens the door, making you turn and see it was her. your expression hardens, and dani notices, knowing she's still in deep shit.

"hey," she says awkwardly, pulling the flowers from behind her back. "i got you these." she holds them out, looking at the ground.

you can't help the way your eyes soften at the tone in her voice, quiet and hesitant compared to the confident loudness you were used to. she looks like a kicked puppy staring at the ground, and you let out a short sigh before getting off the bed, walking over to her and taking the bouquet from her.

"i'm sorry for what i said," daniela mumbles. "i didn't mean to say it i just...i still think about it sometimes and i don't know why. i know you didn't do it to hurt me on purpose but sometimes i...i worry that you're going to leave once you realize i'm not the best for you."

her words shock you as she still stares at the ground, finally speaking the thoughts that had been eating her up inside. "dani..."

"i-i know i'm not the best," she quickly adds. "i know you can find someone who will treat you better like it's nothing. but i don't– i can't lose you. i love you so much, so fucking much, and it scares me so much when we fight because i know every time it's another tick gone and that eventually you'll get tired of me and leave. i don't want you to leave. we fight, we have our ups and downs, but you always stay. you always stay and i know one day y-you won't." daniela's voice cracks at the end, tears filling her eyes the longer she talks. "i'm sorry." a few tears fall.

carefully setting the flowers on the bed, you take another step towards her and cup her face in your hands, making her look at you finally. "it's okay," you tell her softly. "you're right, i always stay. i always stay because i love you. i wouldn't if i didn't. dani, i don't think you know that you are the best relationship i've had. all of the other ones ended like shit. you prove to me time and time again that even if you fuck up, you own up to it and you don't run away. i won't ever get tired of you, i promise." you wipe away the tears falling from her eyes. "i love you, and i love the flowers. you always know what to get me."

"i try," daniela responds quietly, nodding slightly.

"i know." you nod. "and i love that about you." you lean in, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

parting from the kiss, daniela's arms snake around your waist and pull you close to her as she puts her face in the crook of your neck. "i love you," she murmurs against your skin.

"i love you too," you reply, petting her head gently.

[navybrat817]

For valentines ficlets: eyes locking across a room with Chris? He’s so precious hehe.🥺🥺

Syd, I love this man!

Across the Room

Pairing: Destroyer!Chris x Female Reader

Summary: You didn't really want to go to the party, but you were glad you did.

Word Count: Over 730

Warnings: Love and lust at first sight, tension, slight feels, Destroyer!Chris (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The party was in full swing when you arrived, music pounding through the speakers as you made your way to the basement bar. Grabbing yourself a drink, you felt the lively energy flow through you when you looked around. A few people were dancing, and others were scattered in small pairs and groups, laughter and chatter spilling over. You recognized just about everyone, and you didn’t plan to stay long, but it would’ve upset your best friend if you didn’t make an appearance.

“There you are!” Shauna yelled, nearly knocking the drink out of your hand when she went in for a hug.

“Here I am,” you smiled. You could smell the liquor on her breath, and she’d probably make you do at least one shot to catch up a little. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Hey, you showed. All that matters,” she said over the music.

You sighed inwardly. Parties like this used to be so much. Drinks flowed, excitement felt contagious, and nights felt endless. Something changed along the way. The more parties that ended with you going home by yourself made you realize how lonely you were. There was no one to wake up beside you in the morning, and no one came home to you at night. It hurt.

One thing you refused to do was settle. You wouldn’t just drive yourself into the arms of someone you knew you shouldn’t be with just to take away the loneliness for a night. You just wondered when things would turn around.

As if by some divine voice who heard your heart crying, you turned and locked eyes with a man across the room. They were the bluest eyes you had ever seen and they pulled you in. If you drowned, your dying words would’ve been to thank him. Everything made sense, and nothing made sense at all when he softly smiled.

“Who is that?” you asked, still tangled up in his stare.

“Oh, that’s Chris. He’s new to the area,” Shauna replied, giving you a gentle shove forward and making some of your drink spill over this time. “He’s totally checking you out, so go.”

He kept smiling when you glided across the room. No one seemed to touch you or block your path, almost like they knew not to interfere. And as luck would have it, there was an open spot right beside Chris. You expected half the party to be vying for his attention, but maybe they were put off by him being an outsider or his dangerous aura.

It drew you in like a moth to a flame.

“Hey,” you breathed.

“Hey,” he smirked.

His eyes were somehow brighter up close. Your fingers itched to reach up and trace his goatee. Glancing down, you spotted a few rings on fingers and wondered what they would feel like grazing or digging into your flesh. You managed to give him your name and hoped he was sticking around, but he had his jacket on like he wasn’t planning to stay long either.

“I’m Chris,” he said, clinking his bottle against yours in lieu of a handshake.

“Nice to meet you.” Taking a swig, his eyes went to your lips when you licked a drop away. “You’re new around here.”

“I am,” he confirmed, your stomach twisting in a delightful knot as his eyes swept over you. “Not a bad place, but I don’t know my way around just yet. Wouldn’t mind showing me sometime, would you?”

It thrilled you that he asked, but you didn’t want to appear too eager. “I may be able to do that.”

“May?” He raised an eyebrow. “How can I turn that into a ‘yes’?”

“Step outside with me so we can talk away from the noise and I’m sure you can find a way to convince me,” you smiled, knowing full well you’d show him all the best spots and hidden gems.

He smirked and took a swig of his own beer. “Lead the way.”

Slipping your hand in his, you winked at Shauna watching across the room. The voice in the back of your head said not to rush into his arms just because you felt an instant connection, but you had a good feeling about him. Even if you didn’t take him home tonight, there was always tomorrow.

And for the first time in a long time, you were glad you went to a party.

Love and thanks for participating! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[grimesve1l]

First time for everything

Read previous part here

Summary: Rafe takes Y/n on her first date

Warnings: Swearing

It's been a few days since Rafe spent the night with Y/n but they've still talked. This morning Y/n had woken up to an apple pay notification and a text from Rafe telling her to get her nails done and be ready by seven. The message made her smile as she got out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

"What you smiling for?" Barry asked from the couch. "Nothing" Y/n said as she started to make breakfast. "Mhm." Barry replied not believing her. "That code for country club?" he adds. "Maybe." she says cracking an egg in the pan. "Y'all dating now or sum?" he asks as he scrolls on his phone. "No, but we do have a date later." Y/n replies.

This makes Barry turn and look at her. "Y'all have a date?" he says. "Yeah. Why are you so shocked?" Y/n asks as she continues cooking. "You two are making each other soft as hell. Back on the mainland you'd be playing five guys at the same time and none of them ever knew it." Barry says.

"And Rafe ain't all that different either he be playing all them kook girls. Now you talking bout y'all got a date. Barry says in disbelief. "I guess we've both had a change of heart. Y/n says shrugging while fixing her and Barry's plates. She puts the plates on the table in the living room and sits beside him.

They continue talking as they eat their breakfast. Once Y/n finishes she takes a shower and gets ready to get her nails done. "You know a good nail salon around here?" she asks Barry. "Why would I know that?" Barry says giving her a confused look. "I don't you live here don't you?" she responds sarcastically as she looks it up on her phone.

"Whatever I found one." she says heading for the door. "Bye B, don't miss me too much!" she says as she leaves. She makes her way to a nail salon that's not to far but still far enough to be way nicer than what she would've found near her. She walks up to the lady at the front desk and asks if she can do a walk in. The lady looks her up and done but agrees regardless.

Y/n doesn't miss the way people in the salon look at her but she couldn't care less. Rafe gave her money to spend and she was gonna spend it somewhere nice. She eventually gets sat down and the nail tech starts working on her nails. Y/n decides to go with simple long dark red nails.

"I love that color." A girl beside her says. "Oh thanks yours are cute too. Y/n responds. "I'm Sarah. Are you new here I haven't seen you around here before." Y/n thinks for a moment wondering why the girls name sounds familiar before responding "I'm Y/n and yeah I just recently moved here. I'm getting my nails done for a date tonight." "Ooo who is he maybe I know him. Sarah says.

"He's a friend of my cousins, they do business together." Y/n says. "Oh so he has money." Sarah replies jokingly. "I mean he is paying today." Y/n says with a smile. "Okay!" Sarah says as they both laugh. As the nail tech finishes Sarah's nail she tells Y/n to give her her phone so she can put in her instagram.

"That way you can tell me how your date goes." she says before leaving. Y/n finishes not long after and pays with the money Rafe sent. She makes her way back home and relaxes with Barry until it's time to start getting ready.

She's not sure where Rafe is taking her so she goes with a simple dress with lace and some black kitten heels. She just finished spraying her setting spray when Barry calls her from the living room. "I'm coming" she's says as she almost trips down the hall in her heels.

She sees Rafe standing by the door waiting for her. "Alright I want her back by midnight and if I find out you hurt her ima whoop your ass." Barry jokes as Y/n moves to stand beside Rafe. "Shut up Barry." she laughs. "I'm just fucking with you but i'm serious about that last part. You hurt her I'll fuck you up country club."

"Trust me man she's in good hands." Rafe says. Barry just nods as the the two head outside. "Bye Barry, love you!" Y/n says walking to the truck with Rafe where he opens the door for her. He walks around the other side and gets in. He starts the truck and pulls off.

"So where ya takin me?" Y/n asks leaning over the center console to be closer to Rafe. "You'll see." he says looking her way. "At least gimme a hint." she pleads. "You're gonna wanna take your shoes off when we get there." he says. "What?" she asks giving him a confused look.

"Just wait we're almost there." he says while chuckling at her confused expression. Eventually Rafe parks in a secluded part of a beach. "Okay, you gotta trust me. Alright?" he says looking says pulling out a blindfold. "What are tying to do with that?" she asks raising her eyebrows at him. He laughs at her insinuation before telling her he wants to suprise her.

She lets him tie it around her eyes and help her out of the truck. The two start walking and Y/n almost trips again. "I told you you'd wanna take your shoes off." Rafe laughs. Eventually they stop walking and Rafe takes her blindfold off. "What do you think?" Rafe asks as she looks at the picnic he had setup for them.

"Oh my God, I love it! How'd you know I like these?" she asks pointing to one of the snacks he laid out. "I had Barry tell me a bunch of your favorite snacks and stuff." he replies. She turns around and hugs him "This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me." she says with a smile. He smiles back at her before he tells her to sit with him.

They sit side by side and watch the waves before Y/n gets an idea. She reaches out and grabs a chocolate covered strawberry. "Open." she tells Rafe as she goes to feed it to him. He takes a bite before saying "It's really good." "Is it?" she's asks before taking a bite of her own. "Oh yeah, these are mine now." she says while laughing before grabbing another and taking a bite.

Rafe laughs as he watches her. "You got something right here." he says pointing to the corner of his lip. "Do I?" she's asks and he nods. "Here lemme get it" he says using his thumb to wipe it off. This gives Y/n another idea. "You got something too lemme just..." she says as she leans in and presses her lips against Rafes.

He brings his hand up to her cheek and kisses her back. The kiss is sweet and simple unlike any kiss either of them have had before. She pulls away and giggles at the sight of her lipstick on Rafes lips. "What?" he asks smiling at her. She uses her phone to show him as she continues to laugh.

He laughs as well as sees himself. "It suits you." she says. "Yeah? Then give me some more." he says moving to press another kiss to her lips. Y/n smiles into the kiss as she puts her hand into his hair and gives it a gentle tug. Rafe pulls back "How does it look now?" he asks. "A little smudged." she replies as she wipes it away.

The two continue watching the waves and enjoying the snacks Rafe had brought. Eventually the sun sets and they lay back on the blanket. Rafe has his arm around Y/n's shoulder while they look at the stars. "Im so glad I moved here." Y/n says. "Me too." Rafe says as he presses a kiss to her forehead.

A/n: omg they're so cute i love them. anyways hope y'all enjoyed the fluff!!

[sgiandubh]

Shippers lose all credibility every time they send messages to places like Deuxmoi, with claims like CB is hiding her rings and hasn’t been seen with her husband for months—like, implying her divorce is imminent. It’s so obvious! It’s been ages since your friend SHwifey blogger announced with such excitement the news about a supposed Decree Nisi and nothing happened yet?🤥 let’s be real T&C are here to stay and a divorce ain’t happening.

Come on, we're not stupid, next time shippers are sending such nonsense to blind items sites at least try to cover it up a bit! And then they say the antis are the desperate ones...

By the way, how’s everything in Puffiland?"

Dear Deux Moi Anon,

Not my circus, not my monkeys, darling, and you know it. I don't know, nor care about what exactly happened, who dunnit and why. It still doesn't change anything to the fact McGill has been MIA for months now, and that yes, the very fact that you rushed in here to screech tells me it bothers you greatly.

Short, but firm reminder I shall not speak for any other blogger than myself, nor take responsibility for any content other than what I sign, seal and deliver on this page. However, you might want to brush up your expertise in British family law and see what the difference is between a decree nisi and a decree absolute. Even if the law changed in the meanwhile (2020 and enforced in 2022), the procedure I am about to describe and comment has not, assuming it started as stated, in 2020. Sidenote: the 2022 law does not change much to its essence, either. It just simplifies the grounds for divorce and leaves some unwanted uncertainty on the ways financial separation is dealt with by the applicants (formerly called 'petitioners').

Here, pumpkin, educate yourself. By the way, you should stop imagining that the entire world has the same rules and regulations on things: divorce is something that is dealt with very differently in the US, as compared to the UK, for example. But anyways, this is the most comprehensive and clear explanation I could immediately find online and it should be enough for you. Also, dutifully highlighted, just to piss you off, darling:

[Source: https://www.aticuslaw.co.uk/what-is-the-difference-between-a-decree-nisi-and-decree-absolute/]

In British legal practice, there is, in reality, no time limit for the decree nisi to remain on the court file, simply because, as the paper above strives to explain, the legislator is fully aware of the fact that it is not always quick, nor easy to deal with the consequences of a separation, such as a change of personal status or financial situation. The 12-months term is, in effect, deemed reasonable to get all the practicalities sorted out. But people are strange, like that: some may just linger complacently in a limbo, some take their time to go their separate ways, others are held by external pressure vectors that are entirely independent of their own will (*coughs*). However, there is no reason to deny the belated petitioners the right for a decree absolute and all it takes is a written Letter to Court, explaining the reasons of the delay. You just need to pay a good specialized solicitor and there are even templates galore to download and fill in, on the Internet. An example:

[Source: https://www.lexisnexis.co.uk/legal/precedents/letter-to-court-applying-for-decree-absolute-more-than-12-months-after-decree-nisi - you can imagine I won't be arsed to pay for the sake of someone like you asking. But you can also imagine the above letter primarily deals with exposing/justifying the reasons for the delay and any new events that may or may not have complicated the issue at stake, such as the birth of a child. ]

I trust this is straightforward enough, or do you need me to draw it to you?

So, there goes your completely false allegation that divorce was automatically implied as 'imminent'. Chop chop, to the scrapheap, with all the rest of you. Not my problem either, that (as always) you have no idea of what you are talking about. See, I am just analyzing some useful legislation, here. I don't read tea leaves, I am definitely not into that Lady of the Rings kremlinology club and I very rarely speculate on social media drama-drama. These being exactly the reasons why you guys seem to hate me with a passion. I don't, darling: I pity and despise you, in equal measure.

As for the current situation in Puffland, you can fuck right off and ask that woman yourself. I don't think she likes me and I can't say many nice things about her, either.

But funny how I, along with a couple of other shippers, seem to live rent free in your empty brains. Given the mentioned company, I feel honored.

[theocddiaries]

[After Forces. Sonic is at home, looking for something in the kitchen. He can't find it and takes a deep breath, his eyes welling up. He walks into the living room and lets himself fall onto the couch, covering his face with his hands. Tails comes in excitedly from the garage.] Tails: Sonic, do you want to see what I added to the Tornado--What's wrong?? Sonic [wipes his tears and forces a smile]: Nothing, buddy. What were you saying? Tails: I asked why you were crying. Sonic: I'm not crying, something just got in my eye. Tails: Yeah, a whole bunch of tears. [sits next to him.]: What's the matter? Sonic: Nothing, it's stupid. I got hungry and couldn't find the hot dog buns. [sniffs.] Tails: …Okay? And is that such a big deal? Sonic: Yes. Because of what it means, Tails. This is my home. It used to be my home. And now I can't even find the things I like and only I use. I'm starting to feel like a guest who’s in the way. Shadow [enters the house and sees the scene]: What's going on? Are you guys okay? [sits on Sonic's other side.] Tails [starts to cry too]: Sonic couldn't find the hot dog buns. Shadow: …Oh. They're in the second drawer. I'll get them for you, if you want-- Sonic: That's not the point. Amy [walks down the hallway, sees them]: Sweetheart, what's wrong??? [sits on the couch too.] Tails [crying]: Sonic couldn't find the hot dog buns. Shadow: I already told him they're in the second drawer. Sonic: It's not about the buns, guys. It's just… in the cell, days felt like centuries, and all I wanted was to get out to see you guys again… and to kick Eggman's butt, but mostly to see you again. And now that I’m finnaly out, it feels like those six months flew by in here. I feel like a burden and a stranger; I can't find anything, I have nothing to do because you guys have everything covered, I can't follow conversations, and I don’t even know what to buy for you because it feels like I don’t know you anymore. Everything and everyone has changed so much. Amy: Changed for the worse? Sonic: No. On the contrary. I’m really glad for you all. I see you leading, Tails more confident, Shadow more comfortable talking to people. But it hurts that I missed it. I know it sounds selfish. But I spent six months dreaming of coming back to a place that doesn’t exist anymore. Tails: It does exist. Some things have changed, yeah. Because six months have passed. But this is still your home, I’m still your brother, and we’re all still your friends. Deep down, it’s the same. Sonic: No, it’s not. Before, I was needed, and now-- Shadow: And now you still are. The changes you said you’ve seen happened because of you and the influence you had on everyone. Tails: He’s right. To me, you were never totally gone. Amy: Neither for me. Shadow: For none of us. Tails: You’re the heart of this group and this place. [Tails gives Sonic a tight hug, and Amy joins in. Shadow rubs his back.] Amy: So, what did you want? A chili dog? My treat. Let’s go. [Amy pulls Sonic up. Tails takes his hand, and Shadow gives him a quick shoulder hug. The group heads toward the door. Knuckles comes out of his room with a bag, eating.] Tails: …Well, look where the hot dog buns were… Knuckles [mouth full]: …Why are you all looking at me like that? What happened? [Amy snatches the bag from him, pissed off.] Knuckles: Geez, you could’ve just asked. Ten years and you haven't changed one bit…

[runninriot]

Another Love

written for the @corrodedcoffinfest pop-up event It's Complicated

wc: 1.966 | rated: M | tags: past friends with benefits Eddie/Jeff, newly established Steddie, unrequited love, complicated feelings, mild hurt/comfort, friendship | also on ao3

   “Guys, this is Steve. Steve, these are the guys. My best friends, who will not embarrass me today. Right?”

Eddie laughs, tries not to let his nerves show by making a silly grimace in the direction of Gareth, who lovingly scoffs and rolls his eyes, says ‘You don’t need us for that, you’re pretty good at embarrassing yourself‘, just to be a little shit. And maybe that’s good, because it means they’re not pretending to be something they’re not. There’s no need to mask who they are in front of Steve, Eddie knows that.

He knows that, once they’ve warmed up to each other, they’ll get along just fine. But still, he can’t shake the funny feeling in his gut.

This is a big deal for him, finally introducing his boyfriend to the people who, apart from Wayne, mean most to him in this world. He wants, no, needs them to accept this new person in his life, because there is one thing he’s absolutely certain of – Steve is here to stay.

Gareth and Doug, being the lifesavers they are, immediately start wrapping Steve up in a conversation and it helps ease Eddie’s nerves a bit. But out of the corner of his eyes, he can see the tension in Jeff’s shoulders. Can sense his resentment of the situation even if Jeff is obviously trying his best not to show it.

He stands off to the side, pretending to tune his guitar which he’s definitely not. Eddie knows he’s already done that before even coming to the venue. Out of all of them, Jeff’s always been the closest to a professional.

It’s something Eddie admires, one of those things he loves about him.

Jeff and Eddie go way back, met long before Gareth and Doug entered the picture. They’ve been friends forever, through thick and thin, always together against the rest of the world.

He’d never admit it out loud but Jeff’s opinion matters most. And that’s not only because he’s his best best friend. It’s also because he doesn’t know what he’d do if Jeff didn’t give him his blessing. There’s so much at stake here, so much to possibly end in ruins. This is so much more complicated than just wanting his friend's approval - there's more to consider. More to fight for. So that's what Eddie is willing to do.

   “Hey, man,” Eddie claps Jeff on the back trying to act casual, ignoring the twisted knots in his stomach. “Can we talk?”

   “If it’s about your boyfriend, then no.”

Jeff takes a big swig from his beer, the look in his eyes unusually cold and distant.

   “Come on, man. I thought we agreed that-”

   “Well, I’ve changed my mind. Look, Eddie. I’m happy for you, I really am. But you cannot expect me to put on a brave face and pretend that this doesn’t fuck me up.”

His words slice through Eddie like a knife, sharp and quick, no mercy on his heart.

Eddie probably deserves it for thinking he could ignore the giant ass elephant in the room and simply wait it out. Wait for the problem to solve itself, for everything to go back to normal, back to easy. Because truth is, there is nothing easy about this.

Eddie knew from the start that this would be complicated, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t. He knew and yet, stupid as he is, he still hoped they could just... move on. Not forget but maybe lock up the memories of a different time and go back to how things were before. When they were just friends, no feelings involved. At least not those kind of feelings.

   “I’m sorry, Jeff,” he says, head tilted down to avoid his friend’s piercing gaze, “I know it’s-“

It’s what? Hard? Unfair? Well, yeah, obviously. At least from Jeff’s point of view. But what is Eddie supposed to do? He didn’t choose to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have feelings for Jeff, only they’re different now. Not that he ever-

It’s a cruel thought, even though it’s true. They both know it because Eddie never pretended to be in love when he wasn’t. Was he attracted to Jeff? Oh, absolutely. Otherwise they wouldn’t have ended up in bed together. More than once. And it wasn't just the prospect of easy sex that had Eddie coming back for more - it was the thought of falling asleep in Jeff's arms. To be held by someone who makes you feel safe and cared for. He loved the kisses and giggles and how okay it was to be vulnerable and open because there's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide because Jeff already knows everything about him.

The problem is, while it had all started out as casual fun between mates, something changed over time. Something Eddie noticed too late or he would’ve ended it sooner. Jeff never told him about his feelings, so that’s on him, but it is just as much Eddie’s fault because- he should’ve known anyway. Should’ve noticed the shift. But he hadn’t. Or maybe he simply refused to acknowledge it. Selfishly ignored it until he couldn’t anymore.

When he met Steve, he instantly knew he needed to put his cards on the table and come clean about what this would mean for him and Jeff. Told him about this guy he likes – ‘Don’t know if it’s mutual but I’d like to give it a shot, see where it’s going. Maybe it’s nothing but maybe- I think he could be the one.’

And at first, Jeff seemed to be fine with that. Said he understood that they couldn’t hook up anymore. Said he’d miss the fucking but ‘Eh, whatever.’

Only it wasn’t whatever.

But Eddie was so lost in his own head, so caught up on Steve, Steve, Steve that he didn’t see what it was doing to Jeff. Didn’t notice him pulling away more and more until Gareth mentioned it. Asked if something had happened between the two because they were acting weird.

So, when he finally confronted Jeff, things seemed... okay. Better. At least that’s what he thought when Jeff told him he’d get over it, that he just needed some time to adjust. Promised Eddie that nothing had changed when it came to their friendship but right now, Eddie isn’t so sure about that anymore.

And it kills him.

Makes him lie awake at night because he can’t stop thinking about all the worst possible outcomes. What if this breaks up the band? What if Eddie loses his best friend?

   “I don’t want to lose you, Jeff.”

    You’re up in five, someone calls from the side of the stage and Eddie knows this is the worst possible timing for a heart-to-heart. They should be getting ready, he should be talking to his boyfriend who he abandoned and left with people he doesn’t really know, in a place he’s never been to before. But he can’t step away, can’t leave it like that, not when Jeff still hasn’t said anything.

   “I need you. You’re my best friend and I- I love you.”

It’s a stupid thing to say, to use this word, this feeling that is the cause for this mess and the reason for Jeff’s pain. But it’s the right word nonetheless, because it’s the truth. Eddie loves him. Maybe not like he loves Steve but different from the way he loves Gareth and Doug. This love goes deeper than friendship, soul-deep.

   “I love you. You’re important to me and I know- I know you're hurt and I am sorry but I can’t change that my heart belongs to Steve.”

Eddie can’t stop, knows he should because right now, he’s only talking himself deeper into the hole he dug for himself. But he refuses to lie, refuses to try to appease Jeff with false hope – he needs to know where they stand. And if that means Jeff will tell him to fuck off, if that will be the end of their friendship, then-

   “I hate you.”

Eddie’s heart stops at Jeff's words, eyes filling with tears as he braces himself for the biggest regret he'll ever have in his life.

   “I hate you so much for even thinking you could ever lose me!”

They’ve got eyes on them now, Eddie can feel it, but he doesn’t care. Can’t, not when Jeff moves closer, taking one of Eddie’s hands to place it on his chest, right above his heart.

   “It hurts. It fucking hurts. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Eddie doesn’t know what to say, just sniffs and blinks away the tears blurring his vision.

   “It’ll take some time for me to... get over this. But you and me, we’re bound for life, man. So don’t you ever think you’re getting rid of me. You hear me, asshole?”

Jeff smiles at him and even though there’s still sadness in his eyes, Eddie can feel that he means it.

   “Uh... sorry to interrupt but, um, they said you’re up next so I-“

When Eddie turns to the voice coming from behind, he finds Steve standing there, hands in his pocket, nervously looking to the side.

   “I’ll be down there somewhere. Have- have fun.”

Steve’s about to turn around, ready to step away but Eddie can't let him go like that, so he stops him.

   “Baby, wait!”

He looks back at Jeff, hoping, praying to find what he’s searching for in the other man’s eyes.

   “Go on, your boyfriend looks like he’s waiting for a kiss. Would be rude to leave him hanging.”

   “Are you gonna be mad at me if I do?” Eddie’s not asking for permission to kiss his boyfriend, not really. But he’s willing to tone it down around Jeff if that’s what it takes.

Jeff scoffs, lets go of Eddie’s hand and takes a step back.

   “So mad. But I’ll get to have you all to myself for the next 40 minutes so I guess it’s fine,” he jokes and it feels like a peace offering. Like maybe it’s the first step to better, before hopefully they can go back to how things were when everything was good, not complicated.

   “I love you,” Eddie says again just because.

   “Love you too, man. Now go take care of your man and then let’s get this fucking show started.”

Eddie nods, taking another moment to look at his best friend before walking over to Steve.

   “Everything good with you and Jeff?” Steve asks quietly as Eddie wraps his arms around his middle to pull him close.

   “I think it will be, yeah.”

Eddie's glad he never made a secret out of his past with Jeff, couldn’t bear withholding something so crucial from Steve. He needed him to know that no matter what, Jeff will always play an important role in his life. That if Steve wanted to be with him, he’d have to accept that there will always be a place in his heart that’s occupied by someone else.

Steve throws a look over Eddie’s shoulder and smiles to himself before leaning in to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

   “Is that all?” Eddie asks when his boyfriend pulls away, leaving him longing for more.

   “For now,” Steve confirms with a wink, “Your friends are waiting.”

With that, he wanders off into the crowd and Eddie, for the first time in weeks, feels a weight lift off his shoulders and heart.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Maybe it just needs time and trust and mutual understanding.

He’s willing to try, willing to do everything to make this work

Because what he’s definitely not willing to do, is to give up one love for another.

[butterfly--empress]

And Another Thing...

Because actually, the more I think about it, the more it just pisses me off...

If The main writer wanted this to just be a simple formulaic "magical girl powa" kids show that sells merch. With no overarching story plot.

MLB could've just simply BEEN that. A cutesy Sailor Moon inspired story!

MLB could've just BEEN an all female superhero team with Marinette as leader, Alya second in command, and Chloe and/or Kagami being her love rivals/friends for Adrien's affections.

And Adrien could literally just BE THE DAMN LUKEWARM LOVE INTEREST that she wins in the end. Because the Deuteragonist of this show, sure as shit ain't been him since at least S4, let's be so for real.

Nothing against Alya, I love her, but girlfriend has overshadowed what used to be Adrien's role.

But in this version of MLB, being an all girl team of superheroes with a secret identity. Marinette's absurd 'whacky' antics in this show could easily be ignored/deflected/handwaved away, if we never knew much about Adrien outside of him being a popular, good looking rich kid, whom Marinette crushes on and daydreams about often.

And TA doesn't have to twist himself into a pretzel to defend his poor writing choices, when the only POV that matters is Marinette's.

There would be no need for the lore, or vaguely changing it when he feels like it. Or worrying about the unnecessary drama of the whole 'they can't know each others identities' main plot that has all become meaningless.

The original main plot of the whole secret identities for romantic drama and the reason many of us were drawn to this show to BEGIN WITH, is moot when the writer constantly refuses to do ANYTHING with the setup he writes for himself.

He won't let none of his characters have any real development and growth and only seems to care about ONE-HALF of the original two man team.

And I'm over it. 4 episodes and a lame ass Special that literally excuses the main heroine's reasons for LYING to her One True Love has shown me this show is NOT interested in doing anything beyond what it's given.

All of us invested or holding your breath for any real progress with the romantic/main subplot are going to be waiting for naught.

I was already convinced but now I'm certain:

There will never be a big reveal. And if there is one, it'll be purposely left to the VERY end of the series. And it won't even be satisfying.

Nothing will EVER be done with the Lie. Why should it? Marinette finally has the boy she wants, and even if it ever got addressed, the writer would handle it in the most contrived way possible that somehow excuses Marinette's decision anyway.

How much you wanna bet, he'll just end up retconning his own story to SOMEHOW scapegoat Marinette's bullshit to be Lila's fault?

Or Chloe's? Because even when she's not around, not in the same school, city, or even country, the writer STILL finds a way to hate on Chloe.

No...wait even better! Adrien finally finds out and to avoid allowing Marinette to own up to her fucking mistake/betrayal of trust, she decides to 'sacrifice' her memories and being Ladybug...and oh my fucking god.

......This is why TA had Marinette entrust Alya as the new leader isn't it? He thinks he's so goddamn clever!

Marinette's gonna fuck up big time in this season and then get temporary or semi-permanent amnesia to forget EVERYTHING to avoid owning up to her mistakes?

And instead of people seeing the manipulative writing to handwave away how she's been very selfish and self-centered, and her need to control everything. People are going to praise TA for believing or redeeming her bad decisions/behavior on how much she was finally willing to 'sacrifice' herself for a change for Adrien.

*groans*....god this sounds even worse.

You know what, this post had a point and I spiraled again.

Oh yeah...MLB should've just been another inspired typical 5 teamed magical girl knock off because hoping the writer does anything worthwhile with his Deuteragonist, is just waiting for Levithan to reveal itself from the deep, dank, ocean depths, and in this timeline the world's in rn, that's actually more plausible than hoping for meaningful character arcs after 6 seasons of MLB...

[imaginationlover101]

I Have Nothing

Austin Butler x reader

A/N: Finally, after a long awaited time, Part Two to Trust Issues is here!!! This fic can be read alone as well! I hope that you all enjoy!!♡♡

Summary: Avoiding Austin since his reveal, Y/N is left with a burden to carry. The question still remains on whether or not she should reveal her true feelings to him. Who would have known that after 3 months, 1 night out was all it took to fix her doubts.

It was a long, tiring week, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my free time relaxing in the comfort of my own home. Even though I was at home safe away from the worries of work and gossip of friends, there was still one thing missing.

The fact that it had been 2 months since I've held a real conversation with Austin. Ever since that day in his apartment, I haven't brought myself to talk to him since. At first, for the first 3 weeks, it had been an ongoing cycle of missed texts and calls from Austin.

For a while, I would skim through our texts, picturing back to our last momenst together. But sooner than later, his calls stopped, voicemails became shorter, and texts slowed down.

I was becoming sick of seeing the "call me" texts, etc. After awhile i became fustrated with myself, contemplating if I should pick up the phone or not. I wasn't mad at Austin for admitting his love to me. It was more so the fact that I couldnt bring myself to the realize the remaining outcome. I was in love with my best friend and couldn't bring myself to tell him.

Negative self image is a horrible thing. Living with the idea that you are not enough, and can never find the "right one" is a horrible way to live. During middle school, is where it all seemed to start off. Teenage girls were always mean, and making freinds was always complicated. Boys never seemed to look my way (leaving me with endless trails of self worry). But then, out of the blue there was Austin.

Compared to all the mean girls and the guys that never cared to look at my way, Austin changed it all. The minute he moved into the small town I called home, I knew it was meant to be. It was almost as if the two of us clicked immediately. With a kind smile and a caring heart, from that day forward I knew Austin would always be there for me.

However, sometimes my heart seemed to think diffrent. Through all the awkward phases, script practices, theater nights to now the hottest upcoming actor the girls, fame, and media always seemed to get in the way. Leaving an underlying trail of insecurities and doubts. I never believed I was good enough for Austin, but it wasn't until recently that it all came into view.

The buzzing of my phone on the kitchen counter slowly brought me out of my thoughts. Groaning I made my way off the couch (which I had been situated at since 4 oclock, and had no plan at all to move)

Making my way towards the counter, I picked up my phone, bringing it to my ear. Suddenly a loud voice pieced through the phone."Y/N WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Immediately I recognized the nitourious voice which belonged to my best friend. Laughing I began cleaning up the counter of old fashion magazines and cookbooks, I haven't seemed to clean up just yet. "I just got home Ivy, and I think I'm going head in for the night "

I could hear Ivy's exatrative sigh over the phone as she talked back and forth to people in her surroundings. The room was loud, and I couldn't make out what she was saying. "HEAD IN! Come on Y/N, how old are you. Helloooo did you forget were celebrating tonight? Come on Y/N come out with us everyone misses you!"

Over the phone I could hear an array of voices all screaming my name. I had to admit I did miss my friends, and although I did decline the offer to go our last week, I was slowly rethinking my descion. However, my laundry basket full of clean clothes, and fresh bedroom sheets sounded tempted. I knew my night was already complete with dessert and romcom later. "Hmm I don't know Ivy, I'm just not up to it right now."

For a moment there was a beat of silence over the phone, that was until I heard a loud gasp coming from the other side of the phone. "Y/N, I hope your kidding! I swear if your still at home thinking about that Austin guy, I will get you up out of that apartment right now. GIRLLL come out already!! Sasha, Chloe, Isabelle, and I are already here!"

Knowing that Ivy wouldn't stop insisting on my whereabouts and presence in the restaurant, I started to wonder why I shouldn't go out? I did miss my friends and maybe changing my scenery for a second would help. Soon, my mind started taking the best of me, and the ambiance of going out started to sound pleasing. Unlike seconds before, my mind was complety flipped and I now felt myself craving going out to be with my friends. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?

Handing my keys to the valet, my stomach started to fill with anxiety. It had been the first time I had gone out in almost 3 months, and for some reason I was nervous. Making a note of my surroundings, i started to notice the growing crowd in front of the restaurant. I hadn't seen it this busy for a while and became suspicious with the paparazzi that lurked behind the entrance. What could possibly want now?

Walking with the hostess to the back of the restaurant, I already knew it was a good decision to come out tonight. Ivy had told me they booked half the back room, and as soon as I heard the screams from the girls, I knew my presence was known. Embracing them all with hugs, I began to make my way down to an empty seat next to Ivy and Sasha.

I had to admit, "Barneys" was definitely I had no problem coming out to. The front of the restaurant mostly had a dark and romantic italian vibe to it. Velvet curtains, little lamps on the table, gold silverwear, lovey seats right next to one another. Meanwhile, the back room held an open bar filled with a younger crowd, solizalizing and taking amongst one another. Everyone had a drink or two in their hands and a plate of hor dourves on the table. The back room was dark and romantic, and I couldn't be happier the girls picked this place.

The girls began to fill my hands with menus and suggestions on what drinks to order and a quick treat I should get. For a moment, I forgot all about the Austin situation and let myself be consumed with the talks of my best friends.

Talking about the newest drama in all of our lives, we listened in the best we could, of course, with the loudness of the restaurant and were hooked on every detail. Listening to one another and giving each other advice, we clicked our glasses together and wished for the best night.

"You know, I miss having you out with us Y/N. It's not fair you don't come out anymore!" Chloe says, picking up another glass of rosė. The other girls started to agree with her, and the conversation of Austin was soon brought up. The girls and I all stressed our frustrations towards Austin, until out of nowhere Isabella quickly cuts us off to talk about her latest wedding plans. It was odd at first, but the conversations began to flow.

Just as Isabella started talking about the newest caterer she hired for the wedding, all 4 faces of the girls' faces began to drop. Suddenly, Isabelle switched the conversation yet again and changed the topic to the dead daisies in her garden.

One by one, each girl started to act more and more suspicious. Sasha began to fill my glass to the rim with more wine, while Chloe started complimenting my nails, and Isabella kept on trying to keep my attention directly on her. Finally facing my attention towards Ivy, she slowly shakes her head and begins to rub my hand.

Suddenly for all but a moment, I heard a soft voice mutter "excuse me" as a chair was pulled from the table behind us. My breath stopped for a moment, my face growing seemingly warm. I could feel a precense behind me, but I couldn't seem to look up.

After a moment of disbelief, I turned to look up from my seat. After all this time of hiding and pretending here he was, standing mere inches away from me. I could feel his eyesight on me the minute I turned his way. For a moment, I started to stare at him not truly, believing that he was here right in front of me. As soon as he moved closer, placing a hand on the back of my chair I immediately ran out of my seat.

Looking back at that moment, I couldn't exactly remember what happened. All I know was that when I got up from my seat I had no plan to look back. I was thankful for the private bathroom the restaurant had as I made my way through busy crowd into the quiet hallway.

Finally, as I made my way into the bathroom, I was submerged with a second of peace. Staring at myself in the mirror, I felt a sense of urgency. I needed to get out of this restaurant and home quickly. The dress I had chosen to wear for tonight felt seemingly 2 sizes too tight, and my chest as if it was about to burst.

The man I had been dreading to see for the past few months just showed up at the same restaurant my friends and I were at. I guess the paparazzi outside should have confirmed my suspicions.

I was in no way, shape, or form ready to see Austin. After 5 minutes, I finally realized that hiding in the bathroom from my ex bestfriend was far too childish, but I couldn't seem to care. I had basically embarrassed myself in front of the whole restaurant, so hiding in the bathroom felt like a good idea.

Suddenly, a frantic knocking pulled me out of my panic as I paced back and forth across the floor. "It's occupied!"

I couldn't bother to listen to what the person on the other side had to say, I was too consumed in my own thoughts. But neverless the banging and knocking never stopped. You would think some people had manners?

For a moment, I questioned if the mystery person on the other side of the door could be Austin? At this point, I thought the frantic knocking was just an urgent customer needing to use the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the bathroom door. Ready to range my emotions at the unknown suspect, my theories were soon put into check when Austin stood on the other side.

There he stood in all his glory. Standing underneath the fluorescent light for the first time that night, I began to inspect the man standing in front of me. I hadn't seen Austin for quite some time, and I could slowly see the changes in him.

His hair seemed longer and more golden than before, but I couldn't tell if that was from the lighting or the way he styled it. The lingering facial hair that was on his face before was gone, and his face was now shaven clean. Dressed in a white sweater (one that I could have swore we picked out together), black slacks, and his favorite pair of black shoes, I was surprised to see him this put together.

For a second, I was happy to see him. All the memories and sadness I once felt were filled with a tiny bit of relief. Finally, after all this time of hiding, I was able to see the man whom I had been dreading most. I wanted to step forward closer to Austin seeking some sort of comfort, but that was all history after I remembered the reasoning for our fight.

Before Austin could speak, I hastily slammed the door in his face. But of course, that was before Austin wedged his foot in the bathroom door, catching the door with his hand. Pulling and pushing the door between each other, Austin finally had enough pushing the door opening. Stepping into the bathroom, Austin pulled me to the aside with one hand while he closed the door with another. I was finally alone with Austin, and I couldn't think of a word to say.

Realizing that he had finally won, Austin stood against the door in a motion that made me assume no one was leaving. Locking the door behind him, Austin turns around from his stance walking closer to wear I stood in the bathroom. Knowing that I couldn't run away from my problems anymore, I turned my back on Austin. I couldn't look him in the eyes not yet for sure.

Hearing a sigh from the man behind me, I tried to ignore my thoughts seeing as I wanted to turn around against my morals and talk to Austin. I could feel his presence behind me and craved the friend I used to know.

"I'm trying to fix things with you Y/N, but it doesnt help when you want to run away."

I still couldnt face him. I just began to stare plainly at the picture placed ever so crookedly on the wall. For a second I wished I could have become lost in the painting. Just run away from everything and this major talk with Austin.

I guess I had been completely incoherent for too long, because after a while Austin had pulled me away from the painting turning me around to face him. "Seriously Y/N, what are you doing? Why wont you listen to me? Why do you keep running away?"

"I'm not running away from you Austin, I just don't want to talk to you!" Austin nods his head hearing my voice for the first time tonight. Rolling his eyes he begins to make his way towards the wall opposite from me clearly offended by my awnser. Leaning his head in hands, Austin sighs trying to think of what to say.

"I don't get it Y/N, I tried everything! I've called you, texted you, I left you flowers. I don't know what I did wrong." I could tell he was becoming more and more agitated, but I couldn't blame him, how could I tell my best friend I've been avoiding him because I'm too selfish?

"It's just -" Sighing, I began to my trace my fingers along my frame, seeking some sort of comfort within myself. What could I possibly say to him that would make everything seem okay?

Taking a deep breath I fianlly bring my eyes to look at him for the first time this night. "Listen Austin, its me, not you, don't take it the wrong way."

Confusion began to run through his eyes, and his once smooth face became consumed in wrinkles as he scrunched his eyebrows up in worry.

"Don't give me that BS Y/N, I think your forgetting I know you better than anyone else. You cant run away from me anymore. Just tell me the truth, I want to help you!"

I knew I couldn't avoid this conversation anymore, but to be honest I was more embarrassed of it to say anything. In a softer voice than before I slowly made my way closer to Austin.

But of course not too close, I just had to get close enough to make out his face a bit better (or at least thats what I was telling myself).

"I'm not running away from it Austin, it's just.. it's embarrassing."

"You don't have to be embarrassed about anything Y/N. It's just me. I want you back in my life, even if you don't want it. Just tell me what's going on?" His eyes slowly drifted down to mine and for a moment I could help but let my eyes water.

Taking a deep breath in, I prayed that by the end of this conversation everything would work out. By all means this could either change everything for better or worse. "I love you Austin, as a friend, and as something more. I've always loved you, but loving you has always come with a side affect. People are mean, and they try to twist your words and make it sound disgusting. They criticize you and turn there backs and worship you the next day."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is you deserve someone better. You deserve someone who can take it all and throw it away. Your fans want someone who's beautiful inside and out, and I'm not that person, Austin. You need to find someone who completes you better than I do l."

Finally after weeks of holding it all in, I finally said what I needed to say. I had to admit I was scared, but that only lasted for a moment. I could only hope Austin would understand the reasoning behind my sudden leave that day at his apartment.

Suddenly the AC in the bathroom began to turn on again for it's second cycle, and the room was filled with cold breeze. A chill began to run through my body, which didn't help the underlying anxiety I held as I waited for Austin's response. Shivering lightly my attention was distracted for a moment as I began to rub my hand along my body.

I could have sworn Austin was about to leave. For a while he stood blankly staring at me taking in each word that I had said to me. I couldn't see it then, that night Austin had looked at me with eyes I hadn't seen since we were kids. The eyes of someone who had heard news that broke his heard. After all the time of wishing he would go away who would have know that telling the truth would have been the biggest awnser of them all.

Austins reaction to my speech was far from anything surprising. For a moment he turned around staring at himself in the mirror behind him. If anything he looked more disgusted than sad. His face merely turned sour at the words of me not being good enough in his eyes, and I could tell he was trying to hold back what he truly wanted to say.

Through the mirror I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair, running the once perfect slicked hair he had just a moment ago. Finally turning around to face my way, Austins face was started to become slightly red and when I looked at him again his eyes seemed to match mine. Frustrated, confused, but oh so in love.

"I just dont understand Y/N, how could you say those things about yourself when your not them at all. Why are you trying to look through the eyes of other people, when the only eyes you should be looking through right now are mine. I could care less about what other people think or how they act around me. The only person I care or ever cared about was you, and I'll be dammed if these "people" are going to ruin something that we have!"

Taking a step closer to me, Austin moves so that our feet are directly across from one another. The tears that I so desperately tried to hide emerged, and soon the facade that I held was broken. Placing a hand on my face, he begins to cup my cheek leaving little to no space available between us.

Staring up into his blue eyes, I could feel his eyes directly on mine, and I knew I had his utmost attention. "I love you, Y/N, and I'll never stop loving you. The opinions of others are never going to change how I feel about you."

"I love you too, Austin." In a voice as soft as a whisper, I lean in closer so that my hands could slowly trace around his neck. With my face underneath his, he leans in locking his eyes with mine. With our faces near one another, he leans in sealing our lips together in a comforting embrace.

Finally, after months of hiding my feelings, Austin finally knew how I felt. After Austin and I walked back to our tables adoring a smile (none of of our friends had seen before), we walked hand in hand happy with the outcome of the night.

For once in our lives we didn't have to pretend that our feelings for one another were in the dark. After years of hiding away I knew that Austin and I would never be the same as what we were. From that day forward I never had to worry about the underlying opinions from those who weren't Austin. Anytime I had a doubt he was quick to reasure me, and from that moment on I was quick to tell myself that I didn't need to worry because I am his and he is mine.

[donat-senpai]

Yandere!Maomao X Reader X Yandere!Jinshi Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere! tw: Jealousy (nothing special anymore)

Part one

"New day – new achievements," you thought as you stepped into the pharmacy at the start of the day. Maomao greeted you. Jinshi and Gaoshun were there as well. You flashed a sly smile at everyone present. Today, you were going to do something that would change your friends' lives forever.

The presence of the harem overseer today was nothing unusual. Once again, Maomao was assisting him with an investigation. You didn't bother with the details. Their cases usually involved deaths and had a rather gloomy air about them.

Maomao was silently jotting down notes when Jinshi, who had been watching her, decided to break the silence. "Are you always this serious?" he asked with a faint smirk.

You perked up your ears.

"Unlike some people, I prefer to work rather than waste time on idle chatter," Maomao replied without looking up.

Jinshi chuckled. "Maybe you should finally try taking a break? They say it helps keep you from going insane with your own thoughts," he mused before shifting his attention to you and winking. Your breath hitched. He smugly thought himself charming for managing to fluster you without even trying.

But you weren’t thinking about him at all. You were busy coming up with a name for the kitten they would surely get once they ended up together.

"Better to go mad from thoughts than from stupidity."

You barely hold back a laugh, covering your face with the wide sleeve of your robe. Watching them is better than any romance novel all the harem girls are obsessed with these days.

Maomao notices your strange expression. She’s about to ask if you’re feeling alright but gets distracted by a servant entering the pharmacy. Not the one you had secretly made arrangements with the day before. But in his hands is the letter.

So, everything should be fine… Right?

No.

He hands the letter to you. The letter that was meant for Maomao.

"This is for you," the servant says obligingly.

"Are you sure?" you ask, alarmed, trying to send him a desperate signal with your twitching eye in a Morse code that has yet to be invented.

But the man nods coolly, shoves the letter into your hand, and leaves—abandoning you to the hell of your own making.

"It must be something important," Maomao says, setting her work aside as she approaches you with interest.

"Oh. No. I'm sure it's something silly," you laugh nervously, trying to hide the letter. But Jinshi gently—yet insistently—plucks it from your grasp.

"I shall read it!" he declares grandly and begins reciting the love letter aloud.

You are utterly mortified, wishing you could burn to ashes on the spot.

"…You have captured my heart."

Jinshi finishes with far less enthusiasm than he started.

"An anonymous love confession," Maomao summarizes dryly.

"Who wrote this?!" Jinshi exclaims, unusually agitated.

"Why are you so flustered?" Maomao glares at him from under her lashes, looking as if she's already considering which poison could take him out without raising suspicion. "Were you planning to confess yourself?"

"I just want to know who dared to write this to my— I mean, our… dear acquaintance," Jinshi barely corrects himself, too upset to choose his words carefully.

"It’s probably just a mistake," you blurt out in panic. Because if Maomao decides that this letter was meant for you from Jinshi… your days are numbered.

"This could be a conspiracy," Maomao concludes, finding her own logic perfectly reasonable.

"A conspiracy?!"

"Yes. To lure them into a meeting and rob them. Or interrogate them. She's connected to you, after all."

At this point, Gaoshun decides to step in.

"I still think… it's just a letter."

You're this close to bursting into tears. Here he is—your savior, the most reasonable of men. But, of course, no one except you is paying him any attention.

"We should interrogate that servant."

"We’ll wait for the sender to reveal themselves."

"NO ONE is going to reveal themselves! Because this was obviously not meant for me!" you shout at them in pure desperation.

The two paranoid lunatics finally fall silent. But not for long.

"Fine. But I’m still going to keep an eye on you. For your own safety," Jinshi says, reaching out in an attempt to touch your face.

A loud slap echoes through the pharmacy. Maomao has smacked his hand away. You feel your soul leave your body.

"Watch over them? What are you, some kind of pervert? I will be watching you—to make sure you don’t do anything stupid," she declares, wrapping her arms around you protectively, shielding you from the dangerous man.

"Enough!" Gaoshun’s patience finally snaps.

This time, the sheer authority in his voice forces the pair to pay attention. The room settles into silence.

"I’ll take the letter to confirm whether it was truly delivered to the right place. You all—get back to work. We don’t have all day, Master Jinshi."

Before leaving, Gaoshun casts a disapproving look your way.

You realize—he knows. You don’t have to worry. He’s got your back. But that doesn’t make you feel any less mortified. You should get him a gift to thank him for the trouble. Maybe then, the emperor will take pity on you and have you executed for something.

"Haha… funny how these things happen," you laugh nervously.

Neither Maomao nor Jinshi are willing to let you go just yet. They seat themselves beside you, one on each side, and begrudgingly return to work.

"The letter idea wasn’t so great after all," you admit to yourself in silent defeat.

[girlsounnerving]

Shauna and Melissa on my mind here’s my quick take (or theory i suppose) now that we’re about to see lots more of Melissa

As much as im delighted and surprised by the end of S3E2, I do not think there is going to be much romance between the two considering how mentally unstable and vicious Shauna is, and how I think the power dynamic is going to play out between Shauna and Melissa. They both have something to gain from being ‘together’, and while i think Melissa probably does actually like Shauna (just look at her she’s a dyke), it’s still very transactional because they are insane teenage girls in the wilderness.

What does Melissa have to gain? Melissa was previously unnoticed. Not present in s1 and barely heard from in s2, Melissa was a JV player and not at all close with the Varsity soccer team, which consists of the ‘main girls’ so to speak.

“The group dynamic changes, because girls who were formerly keeping to themselves are making their presence more known” — Jasmin Savoy Brown (‘Inside Yellowjackets Season 3’)

In the new dynamic established in spring where we see more of the JV girls being treated as teammates rather than side characters, there comes an opportunity for a new power struggle. In this, Shauna is not trifled with despite her lack of respect for Nat’s authority which everyone else seems to follow, making Shauna valuable to stand alongside for Melissa, who may not align herself to Nat or Lottie’s beliefs, as Melissa was one of the last to start following Lottie’s influence (around s2 ep 6 or 7 I think, in the wake of Shauna’s stillborn baby- I could be wrong though).

When Melissa says “Do you feel that right now? That’s fucking power” in ‘Inside Yellowjackets Season 3’, I believe that’s Melissa egging on Shauna’s influence and behaviour. Melissa will be an enabler, someone in Shauna’s corner who campaigns for her and also uses it as an excuse to rise with her into the ranks of leadership that Nat, Tai (and Van), and Lottie (though Lottie doesnt seem to be actively pursing it, she did pawn off her control to Nat) seem to have broken or are in the process of getting into.

What’s in it for Shauna? Not only is Shauna extremely emotionally unstable after the death of her best friend and baby, Sophie Nélisse also said about Shauna in a Deadline interview,

“[…] I think Shauna is so in shame of what she’s done. I think she has no love for herself and no empathy for herself. And so, you can’t love other people until you love yourself, and so I don’t think she’ll be able to give Melissa what she wants in return. And I think, on the contrary, she’ll just see her as another pawn on her chessboard to play with.”

Going off the fact that presumably Shauna is going to try to break into a role of more power and influence, either because Melissa is advocating for her or because she finally feels she has the means to do so, this ‘relationship’ will probably have little to do with romance for Shauna, and more about manipulating people and gaining numbers. What might be a ruthless rise to power and disposal of those who love her comes from the fact that Shauna has nothing to lose, and hates herself too much to let anyone actually love her in any way that matters, much less love someone in return, as Sophie Nélisse highlighted in the interview.

Also, somehow, this will be tied to Jackie. I have literally no proof but just look at Shauna. She’s sucking the soul out of another blonde. Anyway that’s all from me this is like half a thought that I managed to get down but its heavy on my mind this show is so good ugh

[mint-ty]

Since the Lithuanian band Katarsis is new to me too, I made a summary of this interview that was filmed after LT semi-final. (youtube video)

They say they're very surprised about getting through the LT semi-final (when this interview was filmed) and it's amazing how many people have listened to their song.

Did they watch the semi-final on the tv? (the shows were prerecorded).

Alan: no, I was a bit scared and spent the day in bed watching random series, only turned on the TV for the final voting :D and when we passed I rewinded the whole show to watch from the beginning.

Why Eurovision?

Lukas: in the beginning it was just like a joke among us like "oh let's go to Eurovision!:D" but then after looking more into it, it seemed like a good experience and opportunity. Hardest was to convince Emilija and Alanas to sign for it.

Alanas: yeah I didn't want to participate for myself, I didn't think our music would be welcomed maybe on such a big scale, but the band is more important so I wanted to fight with my fear and do this for my friends:)

Lukas: there's a lot of skepticism around underground musicians for both Eurovision and TV in general. But after thinking about it longer we decided there's nothing we would lose by trying.

Have you ever played on Žalgiris Arena stage before? (currently the biggest stage in LT)

Alan: yeah once :D another warm-up band needed a back-up guitarist and asked me in. It was nice:D

Is there anything you want or plan to change for the LT Finals performance?

Lukas: maybe the whole entrance? we're not used to tv stages so just when to start a song is communicated well in my opinion. But for the song itself we try not to think too much and keep everything that is as now.

How hard is it to pretend to play the instruments on stage, since only the vocals are live?

Alanas: yeah it was hard, since it doesn't feel like you even need to be there on the stage. I really wanted to pretend like Kurt Cobain overly acting in that one TV show or something like that :D I think it's better to do it with less perfection, but to do it live.

Have you played the song before?

Lukas: no, it never has been finished to the very end. When we will play it now, it for sure will sound different from how it sounded before in our rehearsals. In live gigs we can adapt the songs much more to the audience and the feeling, but this song obviously will have to stay closer to the recorded version from now on, with back vocals phonogram and all.

What is the song about?

Lukas: I don't really know honestly, the song changed so many times and had so many meanings to me, that now it doesn't mean anything in particular. Maybe it's about relationships. It also can mean anything to the listener, however he understands the song.

So is it about a relationship with a particular person?

Lukas: no, it had many forms and now it's just a ball of a feeling in general, so it's really hard to say what it's about.

What about the part "tavo" in the end of the song? people even count how many times it was said and say it's too many times.

Lukas: the original song was even longer, over 4 minutes, so we actually concenced it. I used the sound of "tavo" as an additional which I think sounded cool :D

How did Katarsis start?

Lukas: first I was alone, just playing music as a teenager in my bedroom. My first recorded song from a phone is even still on soundcloud. Then I got invited to several gigs and saw that playing by myself was very difficult, and started looking for a band, and here we are eventually.

Where is the name "Katarsis" from?

Lukas: I really like movies and theater, and at the time I was in a sort of movie camp, and heard this word and really liked it. Now it also has a meaning of "letting out your feelings", which I think fits our music style well.

You say you are an alternative music underground band, but I wouldn't call you underground because you have another song Vasarą Galvoj Minoras that has 3mln on spotify and even got an award. How many gigs do you do? I heard people sweep your tickets?

Lukas: recently they don't sweep our tickets anymore, maybe that's why we went to Eurovision :D we had a period when everyone wanted to hear just that one song, now our gigs are smaller but people actually know our songs and want something new, so that is very lovely

Are you afraid Tavo Akys might be your most popular song now, that you'll have to play as the finishing one for many gigs to come?

Lukas: not really, no. Even Vasarą Galvoj Minoras we weren't playing in the end. Usually in the middle somewhere, and recently I don't think we played it at all.

Alanas: I don't really like that song so I'm happy we're not playing that :D I had told that to Lukas too :D I joined the band after it was already released.

How did the band come together? since each of you have also your individual music projects and other bands that you also play in, like Emilija has a duet band with her partner, you Alan are playing for another band and also have your individual EP, and etc.

Alanas: I was asked to join by our drummer Jokūbas, since we were coursemates in uni.

Lukas: and Jokūbas came to the band to replace the previous drummer before I even knew the old drummer wanted to leave :D he said to me one time we met in a fest "I heard you're looking for a drummer?" and I was "no?.." :D but I did call him later to join after all.

Questions from the listeners: Any bands that influence your music?

Lukas: honestly I try to listen less at the moment because I don't want to pick any influence. So I can't say if there was any influence before. Recentry I liked some wild noise electronic songs, and maybe Orillia(?) Shadow song from the 90s I think.

Any rituals before going on stage?

Both: nope

Alan: tune my guitar :D

Have you noticed more alternative music going to Eurovision stage? Would you like to see more bands like yours on Lithuanian stage?

Both: honestly we weren't following previous eurovisions that closely, maybe only the finals..

Lukas: yes of course. It always feels like eurovision songs are just a repeat of the same. I'd especially love to see more unique music, I think Lithuania has a lot to offer not only for our stage but for all Europe. Something like Molchat Doma has done by Belarussians, I think we can really find good music to uplift among ourselves too.

Do you expect to do gigs outside in other European countries?

Both: we weren't even expecting to pass the semi-final :D

Alanas: but yeah I'd love to try playing abroad. I had talked with fellow musicians and it sounds like an amazing experience.

What about lithuanian language in the songs?

Lukas: I love that it has been becoming more popular. I always enjoy hearing native language in foreign songs too, so I hope there will be more of that.

Who worked on the LED visuals on the screen?

Lukas: it was Ignas Blažys, a graphic designer, but he feels like a part of our band now since he helped so much with the visuals. We might change something a bit for later on the screen, I don't know yet, we'll see.

How about a choerography on the stage? are you planning anything?

Lukas: yeah we planned - walking around a bit :D we might need to think about that too, but for sure we don't want any hard choreography because it won't feel organic then and we want the song to feel natural.

The cameras should be catching me, not me catching the cameras.

Interviewer: not how eurovision works, but good luck :D

Are you scared a bit about going to Basel? Have you kept several free weeks in May just in case?

Alanas: I didn't.. :D maybe I should cancel my works just in case..

Lukas: to be honest we're not expecting to go to Basel, so we're not scared and we're trying to enjoy the experience. Maybe if we win, then we will be scared I think :D

Do you have some jobs outside of music that might be impacted by a trip to Basel?

Alanas: I teach guitar, so I might need to cancel few weeks of lessons :D

Lukas: I work as a video editor, mostly because I need a salary. Also I wanted to say thank you very much for everyone who believe in us and write lovely comments, they really go to my heart ♡

Do you write song lyrics by hand?

Lukas: no I write to notes on computer or on my phone. I'm that generation already.. :D I don't think I have a ballpen at home... :D

Just for curiosity, are you right or left-handed?

Lukas: I think we're all right-handed in the band.

If you meet Tommy Cash, what would you talk about? :D

Alanas: oh wow, I don't even know, I'm a bit intimidated I think.. :D he's an amazing artist and performer and I have huge respect for him, I don't know.. It's like when I was a child and saw Marilyn Manson, what would I even say? :D

Interviewer: I had a chance to be in the same party with Marilyn Manson two times - he is as creepy as he looks :D But with Tommy Cash I'm sure you'd find a common topic if you both meet, especially that his music is also considered alternative to some level.

How old are you?

Alanas: 23, Lukas: 22

Are you planning an English version of Tavo Akys?

Both: for sure no.

Have you got a katarsis feeling when you passed the semi-finals?

Lukas: maybe not katarsis, euphoria maybe? when we passed I was super happy for a bit and then I got worried what next, another 2 weeks of work. But then, before now I had half of year of free time and I wasn't feeling too well myself to be honest, so now with a full schedule of things to do I'm feeling much happier and fuller as a person.

Have you checked reactions from foreigners to your song? do you read comments?

Alanas: yeah I love reading comments :D some of them are very creative, I also screenshot and post some to our group chat :D

Lukas: youtube reactions are also funny, they really don't say anything, but yeah we've seen some.

Any potential collabs or wishes?

Lukas: we're actually planning a collab song with another band Velvet vocalist.

Any more plans? for albums or such for this year?

Lukas: we have some gigs planned for this summer, but with new releases we'll see, maybe.

Did you have a strategy for going to eurovision?

Lukas: I think the main strategy was just to try and see, get some experience, try for ourselves so we don't feel stuck.

Interviewer: Thank you everyone and good luck.

[judamars]

So I’m probably not that smart but I did take both psychology classes and sociology classes in college and they were a pretty big part of my time there.

I think in this particular situation, Gihun was the victim of what is called Operant Conditioning, which is the type of conditioning where a voluntary behavior is associated with a consequence.

By the time Gihun had reached Ilnam on his deathbed to confront him, he had already been conditioned by the games to believe that his impulsive desire to help others in need is something that will always be met with consequence. Ilnam kinda feeds into this subconscious thinking as well. You kinda see in both seasons how he still has feelings of guilt and shame, and even traumatic responses, from witnessing the death of others. (Flashback to the work strike (s1), dalgona dream (s2)). Because of his own personality, he is aware that he can make a difference by helping others when he sees they need help. That doesn’t change. But his apprehension when something goes gravely wrong as a result of such gets worse as the show progresses.

My theory is that the reason Ilnam and the Frontman actively use operant conditioning on him specifically is not because they don’t want him to stop helping people, they want him to stop helping THEIR people. The ones who join the games. The frontman has VIPs to entertain in a messed up capitalist system, and he knows that Gihun will stop at nothing to find him and attempt to put an end to it.

I also want to mention how Gihun had had three years since he left the games the first time to find them. But because he didn’t take that time to thoroughly process his trauma and to instead obsess over the source of it, he then became subject to the brunt of what PTSD/CPTSD can do to people, especially men. Specifically, i noticed symptoms such as intrusive thoughts, anxiety, feelings of guilt and shame, and hyper vigilance. But im sure there’s more.

Now just as a PTSD survivor and someone who knows other people who suffer from the same thing, a common thing that happens with the disorder (if it’s not already known) is increased empathy.

PTSD survivors are more likely to show ten times the amount of empathy. That is both proven in a few studies provided by google, and is also kinda common sense. Studies were mostly done on adults with childhood trauma, however I still think it could apply to both Gihun’s games experience and his past. And sure, a PTSD survivor may also experience impaired empathy after trauma, but Gihun is definitely portrayed as showing increased empathy. Helping people win the red light green light game by yelling out tips, helping that eliminated player across the finish line, those are all definite signs of increased empathy. As for seeing his best friend die, it does leave the question of whether that will either diminish this level of empathy or increase it. I do hope season 3 sheds some light on that, as the initial reaction cannot really tell you either way what his emotions will compel him to do in response.

One more thing I will mention about Gihun’s trauma, because I do think it’s interesting how he didn’t adhere to his own morals after the first set of games were over. I think he definitely saw the opportunity of confronting Ilnam and playing Russian roulette with the recruiter as ways to relive his trauma and somehow find a way to cope in those moments, specifically with the adrenaline rush of potentially putting a bullet in his head during roulette.

I could go WAAAAYYYYY more in depth about this but I feel like I’ve made this way too long already. I just definitely wanted to share this because I felt I could contribute.

All of my blabbing boils down to this, Gihun is a survivor of a deadly, capitalistic system that has put him through such intense trauma, that hasn’t really made him a different person per se but has just made his emotions and his impulses much more intense.

Also, here are some sources I reviewed, just to provide more information

someone smarter than me who knows more abt psychology needs to write abt gi-hun and the learned helplessness that the games instilled in him. i find the last episode of s1 so interesting bc i KNOW that pre-games gi-hun would've gone down to the street and helped out that homeless guy himself. bc pre-games gi-hun, despite his many flaws, was proactive and impulsive and deeply caring towards others. but post-games gi-hun just stays put and waits for someone else to do help the guy. bc the games taught him that even when he tries to help people, he won't succeed. and that trying to help people never works. i don't think it's something he would consciously believe but it got ingrained in him on a subconscious level.

i think by s2 he's started to find his will and strength to help others again, as evidenced by him trying so hard to end the games and by him helping that one eliminated player in red light green light. but i'm worried that him standing up and starting a rebellion only to watch his best friend die is gonna put him right back in that mindset of believing that he can't (and shouldn't) do anything or help anyone.

i also think it's so interesting how even though he has such a distaste for the games, he still mostly follows the rules. even the rebellion itself could be seen as part of the game. but i'm mostly thinking about how he could have saved that homeless man, or how he could have refused to play russian roulette with the recruiter, but he didn't. he thinks he proved il-nam wrong, but in a way he just proved him right by standing so high above that man on the verge of death, literally betting on whether he'd live or not while doing nothing to help him. he was a vip in that moment and he didn't even realise it

[reel-fear]

Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.