#but not the one Quinones uses

[dreadfutures]

the siren song of quinones/catechols is getting to me, I want to do chemistry again so badly that I almost entertained the thought of doing polymer synth 💀

[misojunnie]

KEROSENE 𖣂

there’s a fine line between delusion and reality.

jake sim was your boyfriend. park sunghoon was your best friend. neither knew about each other. you weren’t sure where your heart belonged, and you watch as your life begins to tear in half from the secrecy and guilt. but just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, an earth-shattering secret changes everything.

pairing: bf!jake vs. bsf!sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: psychological thriller, horror, love triangle (kinda… you’ll see)

warnings: violence/death, heavily implied mental illness, very psychological, cheating (?) ig, kinda hoon focused….(sorry), enha’s personalities and backstories are not a reflection of reality, it’s just a story

featuring: enhypen

playlist: it was only a dream by joey quinones, S.D.O.S by alex g, back to black by amy winehouse, somebody that I used to know by gotye, I was only temporary by my head is empty, only you (and you alone) by the platters

word count: 9.9k

taglist ! @enhacolor @jwnghyuns @adoredbyjay @theothernads @firstclassjaylee @dollschan @enreveriee @surrik-i @jwonistic @laurradoesloveu @laylasbunbunny @tmtxtf @shixna606 @kumiwon @heeaxvhhoon

network tags: @kflixnet @k-vanity @k-radio @enhypennetwork

see the trailer.

a/n: hello yall! sorry these fics are taking so long,,,pls still look forward to more, I got a couple lined up! and p.s., look for foreshadowing in this one ;) there’s lots of hints leading up to the plot twist! <3

The flames burned bright, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the crackling fire. The yellow and orange flames flashed like rubies, licking the dark sky, illuminating the beach as you watched them burn. It was like a dance, the way the fire swayed in the wind.

“You okay?” a voice broke you out of your trance as Jake planted a kiss on your cheek. You snapped out of it, smiling up at him as he reached for your hand, clasping it gently in his. He sat down on the sand beside you.

Jake Sim. A year older than you, the sweetest boy you had met in your entire life. He had sparkling eyes full of youth, a smile that could make angels sing, and a calmer temperament than anyone you’d seen in your 20 years of age. You were lucky enough to call him your boyfriend.

You had always been a rather quiet person, but Jake was the opposite. Talkative and popular, he had a seemingly endless amount of friends, many of which threw parties like the one you were at tonight. You grew to enjoy the nights spent at bonfires, house parties, the various celebrations Jake invited you to.

Many people thought you were polar opposites, but that was what made you perfect for each other. You didn’t make friends easily, but he was happy to share his. He wasn’t very emotional, but you didn’t mind coaxing him into confessing what he was feeling. He helped you come out of your shell, you helped him learn to love the peaceful moments. After all, they say opposites attract. And that was certainly true for you.

You had only been dating for a year and a half, but all your friends told you he was the one. And you were beginning to really believe it.

“I’m good.” you replied sweetly. You and Jake’s friends were laughing and dancing boisterously, but you didn’t feel like joining in on the fun. The fire was giving you plenty of company, and an unsettling feeling was creeping into your heart. Maybe it was the Halloween season, or maybe your doubts went deeper than that.

“I’ll sit with you then.” Jake offered kindly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, and you leaned into him gratefully.

You were in love with Jake, you knew that. He was the first thing you thought of in the morning and the last at night, the main topic of all your conversations. He was sweet, thoughtful, smart, funny, and had every quality you ever wanted from a boyfriend. He was perfect, yet somehow, this didn’t feel right. Six months later, and you were beginning to have doubts. You had doubts in all of your past relationships, but none of them were as good as this one. Despite that, something was off. You could feel it.

For now, you tried to put it behind you, letting the fire and Jake’s warm touch comfort you as you watched the dancing flames.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

It was Sunday morning. You were looking forward to a day of no classes, and some alone time. While you loved being with Jake, you had spent everyday together for the past two weeks, and you were craving a little time to yourself.

It was a bit of a drive, but you suddenly wanted to go to your favorite bakery, picking up a fresh baguette to bring home, plus a few pastries for yourself. After that, you visited a nearby park, sitting on a bench alone.

You let the fresh air revitalize you, your hair floating in the breeze. There was hardly anyone in the park, the locals deterred by the fog and biting cold, but you had always enjoyed gloomy weather. You took a croissant out of the ribbon wrapped box, taking a bite and relishing in the peaceful feeling of being alone.

You closed your eyes briefly, and when you opened them, you were put out to discover someone standing before you.

He was extraordinarily good looking; it was the first thing you noticed about him. With his kind eyes, tall stature, and silky dark hair, he looked like an angel appearing out of the fog. He was standing a couple of feet away from the bench you were sitting at, looking at you directly with a soft smile.

“Oh,” you said, startled. “Hi.” You weren’t sure if you were supposed to address him, but he was clearly waiting to say something to you.

“Hi,” he replied. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just liked your shirt.” You looked down at yourself, completely forgetting about your ripped tee. You noticed his neat grey sweater and ironed jeans, wearing a thin silver chain around his neck, and you grew suddenly embarrassed about your messy outfit. He smelled of lilies and fresh paper, the kind of scent that came from a cologne but seemed to be natural.

“You like Amy Winehouse?” you asked, and he nodded excitedly.

“Love her. Valerie was my top song for like, three years in a row.” He seemed eager to share his love of jazz music, and if you were a little more of a senseless person, you could’ve fallen in love right then and there.

“What are the odds?” you said, not sure how to respond. He smiled. Then he held out his hand.

“I’m Sunghoon.” You laughed at the odd gesture, shaking his hand. His grip was firm, and his hands were warm.

“Nice to meet you, Sunghoon. I’m y/n.”

“Beautiful name.” he said kindly, and you blushed, which you would never admit. You were hoping this nice stranger only had friendly intentions; if not, you’d have to tell him to go away, and you were beginning to enjoy his sudden company. “Do you go to the college down the road?”

“No, I actually live in the next town over.” you nodded in the direction you had come from. “I just drove here to visit.”

“Alone?” you looked away in embarrassment, and he gestured to the bench. “Can I sit with you?” It was an odd request, and this was a total stranger, but he seemed nice enough. So you accepted, nodding your head. “So, what's so appealing about this little old town that you’d come all the way here?”

“My favorite bakery, and some much needed alone time.” you admitted, and he raised a brow. “I don’t get much time to myself these days.”

“That’s unfortunate. I have the opposite problem.” he said jokingly, and you opened your box of pastries, removing another croissant.

“Well, you have a new friend now.” you handed it to him, and he looked at the offer in surprise, before accepting it with a wide smile.

“Thanks, y/n. I could use a friend right now.” You smiled in response.

It was shocking how easy it was to get along with Sunghoon. Most of the time, you were horribly averse to meeting strangers; you didn’t know how to act, what to say, what to do. But speaking with him was smooth, it felt as if you’d known each other for years. It was almost concerning how familiar he seemed.

At the end of your conversation, when your phone started flooding with texts from Jake, you took your leave. You offered your number to continue talking, but he told you with regret that he didn’t own a phone, a rare and oddly endearing quality. You accepted, standing to walk away.

“Y/n!” he called after you, just as you were about to leave. You turned around, and he waved at you with a smile, his dark hair blowing in the cold wind. “See you around, okay?” You smiled back, waving.

You didn’t know if you’d ever see this familiar stranger again, but you couldn’t help but hope you did. You had never felt a friendship bloom that quickly, and you didn’t want to let go of it. But you would have to leave it up to fate, hoping you would see Sunghoon again soon, wherever or whenever that may be.

You walked away in a significantly better mood, your box of pastries in your hand. As you got into your car, you noticed the ajar lid, reaching to close it, when your brows furrowed. You opened it, noticing that not a single croissant was missing. Not even the one you offered to him, the one you watched him eat as you chatted.

You blew it off, shutting the lid firmly and turning on your stereo, blasting Amy Winehouse as you drove home to your boyfriend.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

Jake was taking you on a date. Between your busy schedules and booming social lives, it was infrequent that you had time for an actual date. Most of the time, your nights would end in cuddling sessions at your shared house, watching a movie or playing your favorite board games. But today, he had a late lunch reservation for your favorite fancy restaurant, and he insisted that you both dress up in your nicest clothes. You wondered if you had forgotten about an anniversary or event, but he assured you he just wanted to celebrate your relationship.

Sometimes, you wondered how you could’ve gotten this lucky.

You put on Jake’s favorite dress of yours, a red silk dress that reached just below your knees. You hadn’t found an event that suited it in a while, and you were excited to bring it out of retirement.

“You look beautiful.” Jake said, holding your hand as you walked through the streets together. You garnered a lot of attention, a couple as beautiful as you were. Passersby stared, whispering with envy at your youth and glamor.

“You’re being so sweet today.” you giggled, your fingers clutching a single red rose that Jake had brough you, one that matched your dress perfectly.

“We don’t go on fancy dates often.” He kissed your knuckles. “I wanted to make today special.” Your heart filled up with fire as you smiled at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Your lipstick lingered there, and you considered wiping it off for a moment, before deciding not to. You thought it suited him.

You were actually happy. Finding joy in relationships had always been hard for you; your brain decided to shut them down somehow. Whether going ghost, shutting down, even firing off a quick apathetic text, you found a way to escape your happiness. You weren’t sure why. But you were finally ready to retire from being a heartbreaker; Jake was really the only one you needed.

From behind your boyfriend, you caught a flash of something familiar. The scent of lilies, a grey sweater, silky black hair.

You craned your neck to get a better look, Jake watching you in confusion as you waited for him to turn towards you. He glanced at something, his face turning just a couple of inches, and it was indeed Sunghoon. His sharp nose, wide eyes, you’d recognize that face anywhere, it was the one you were hoping to see for days on end.

Jake followed your gaze, turning back to you in puzzlement.

“What are you looking at?” Upon his words, you shook yourself out of your trance, shaking your head with a smile.

“Oh, I just thought I saw someone I knew.” Jake nodded in relief, his grip on your hand growing a bit tighter as you continued to walk, Sunghoon left behind as the two of you fled the scene.

You wanted to reconnect with Sunghoon, but Jake was here, and he was more important to you. For now, you’d just have to hope that you’d see him again, in another time, another place.

As you walked away, Sunghoon turned around, his eyes following as you and Jake walked down the street, the red silk of your dress flashing under the afternoon sun.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

Jake was paying the bill for your meal. By now, the sun was beginning to set, fading slowly behind the horizon as the sky grew pink and orange. You had stepped out of the restaurant for a smoke break, waiting for him as you lit a burning cigarette. The flame of your lighter danced in the wind, swaying side to side before you put it out. Jake was trying to convince you to quit smoking, but old habits die hard, and you were craving a moment of peace.

Your eyes landed on the sidewalk, watching the fall wind sweep golden leaves across the pavement as you took another drag.

“You’re a smoker?” You startled at the sound of a sudden voice, but that surprise melted into delight when you saw who spoke to you.

“Oh, Sunghoon! I didn’t think I’d see you again.” He shrugged in response, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Must be my lucky day.” he replied, a smile on his face, one that you mirrored. You reached down to put out your cigarette, but he waved for you to stop. “No need to stop. I don’t mind.”

“Are you a smoker?” you asked, bringing it to your lips for another drag, and he watched you do so, seeming indifferent to your question.

“Not quite. But I don’t mind if you do it in front of me.”

“Most people hate it.” you chuckled, finishing your cigarette and putting it out on the sole of your heeled shoes. “I suppose the smell is a bit off putting.”

“I disgaree. I like the smell of smoke. It’s relaxing.” Sunghoon shrugged, and a smile grew on your face as you crossed your arms.

“I agree.” You found that it was, yet again, incredibly easy to talk to him. You’d only met twice, but you and Sunghoon already had a lot in common. Your taste in music, pastries, and your partiality to cigarette smoke were only a few of your many interests you’d discussed that seemed strikingly similar.

“So, what are you dressed up for?” he asked, and you were reluctant to answer. “Seems like a special occasion.”

“I suppose it is.” you said mysteriously, and he smiled. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw Jake’s dusty blond hair through the glass window as he collected his coat from the back of his chair. “I gotta go. But it was nice talking to you, again.” Both of you chuckled at that, and he stepped back to allow you room as you walked back to the door of the restaraunt.

“See you around.” he said, reminiscent of the first time you met, a grin on his face that almost looked childlike with eagerness. You smiled.

“See you around.”

And for the second time, you prayed that you would see your new friend again.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

After your recent encounter, you began seeing Sunghoon everywhere. In an empty aisle at the grocery store, the street behind your college, even in the area near where you lived. At first you considered that he might be following you, your meetings were so random and frequent, but he confessed at random that he didn’t live in the next town over after all. He lived in your town, not disclosing where, but telling you he was seemingly very close.

You began to enjoy your interactions with him more and more, your friendship growing stronger every day. You told him your genuine thoughts, and he gave you genuine advice. You didn’t often feel comfortable sharing things about yourself with people, but he weaseled his way into your mind almost concerningly easily. Other than Jake, he was the only person you felt like you could truly be yourself around. It was unheard of for you, knowing someone for only a month and feeling this comfortable around it. But you quickly transformed from strangers to the closest of friends.

Today was one of the lazy days where the two of you would lounge on the grass on your front lawn, sipping on coffee to warm yourselves in the cold. Well, you did; Sunghoon wasn’t fond of coffee. You had never invited him inside your house, it seemed too intimate of a line to cross while you had a boyfriend, who wasn’t home at the moment.

A boyfriend you still hadn’t told him about. But he hadn’t asked, so you assumed it wouldn’t be a problem.

“Are you worrying about something?” Sunghoon asked, laying on his back in the dewy grass. You were reading a book beside him while he stared at the gray sky.

“How did you know?” you asked, bemused, and he chuckled.

“I know everything going on in your head.” You nudged him in the shoulder, and he rolled over playfully, turning to his stomach.

“Maybe.” you replied vaguely, and he sat up on his elbows.

“What are you worrying about?” You didn’t respond.

You wanted to tell him about Jake, you really did. It’s not like you were embarrassed, or you wanted to hide him. You loved Jake, you’d be proud to tell anyone that. But you had this creeping feeling that it would affect your friendship, that Sunghoon wouldn’t be fond of knowing about him. Not in a romantic sense, no, you knew Sunghoon had no feelings for you, just as you had none for him. It was just a sinking dread.

“It doesn’t matter.” he said after a minute, rolling back onto his back, looking up at the sky as the clouds moved through the mist. “I bet I already know.”

“And why would you know?” you asked, your voice amused as you turned the page of your book. He grinned, but you didn’t see it.

“I told you. I know everything going on in your head.”

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

You were acting differently, and Jake could tell from a mile away.

He knew you, and he knew your heart. He could tell when something was bothering you, when you were unusually excited, he detected every minor shift of emotion. But lately, he couldn’t put his finger on what was happening.

You were spending less time with him. You used to be one of those inseparable couples that spent all their time together, but now you were ditching him for study sessions, meetings with friends, excessive alone time. You barely shared things with him anymore; it was like your emotions were all dried up by the time you got home. You were affectionate, but it seemed thoughtless. Jake didn’t want to pry into your business, but he knew he had to find out the cause of your sudden change.

Because not only did Jake know when your emotions changed, he also knew when you were lying to him.

You had just left for a day to yourself, and Jake grabbed his keys from the coffee table, running to his car once he knew you had left for certain. He didn’t want to follow you, that was for certain, but he was terrified that the secret you were keeping from him was big. Maybe as big as infidelity.

His old car crept around the corner, slowly following you from the back of the empty street as you walked. Your headphones were in, and he prayed you wouldn’t turn back and recognize his car. The pit in his stomach grew enormously when you turned the corner, heading towards the busier streets. He followed.

Jake parked, watching with suspicion as you walked into a busy coffee shop. He leaned over the wheel from across the street, squinting his eyes to make you out from the crowd as you sat down at a small table, your coffee table.

He stayed there for nearly an hour, just watching. Waiting for someone to come meet you, a man, as he feared. But nobody came, just you alone at that small table, sipping your coffee.

He sighed, turning his car back on, a flood of relief and guilt consuming him as he pulled out of his spot, heading back home. Maybe you weren’t cheating, maybe you weren’t lying to him. He drove back home, his knuckles blanching as he gripped the wheel tightly, turning back onto your street.

But despite his relief, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

It was day 365 of knowing Park Sunghoon. The year had gone by in a flash, but it seemed almost too short. To you, it felt like you had known Sunghoon your entire life.

You spent a lot of time together. Attempting to fit him and Jake into your schedule proportionately had proven to be hard, but Sunghoon always managed to show up when you least expected it, yet exactly when you were thinking about him. Sometimes you wondered if he could read your mind, he knew you so well.

365 days had passed, and he began feeling more like your best friend with every day.

Today, you were at the park you first met at. Coincidentally, you had happened to be craving your favorite croissants, and Sunghoon, who conveniently showed up to your dorm just beforehand, had come with you. Now, you were sitting on a park bench, croissants in hand, eating and chatting as the sun began to set.

Dozens of people walked by, but they didn’t seem to pay any attention to either of you. As you watched a pair of twenty-something girls walk past, you wondered why girls never noticed your exceptionally handsome best friend. Maybe getting a girlfriend would be good for him. You wanted him to experience the same happiness that you had with Jake, who you were realizing you hadn’t seen in a while.

“Why don’t girls ever notice you?” you said without thinking, and Sunghoon snorted, setting down his croissant.

“Gee, thanks.”

“That’s not how I meant it.” you said defensively, and he smiled in amusement. “I mean, you’re tall, handsome, sweet. Girls should be all over you.”

“Well, you’re not.”

“That’s different.” you said cynically. “I’m your best friend.” He looked at you seriously, and you shrugged. “What?”

“Nobody knows I exist except for you.” You met his serious gaze, before laughing, and he smiled in response.

“You’re so weird.”

“I’m totally serious. Nobody notices me but you.” It was a strange thing to hear, but it was seemingly true. When you were with Sunghoon, nobody really seemed to notice him, to even see him. He was enormously skilled at fading into the background, going unnoticed by passersby. As he had told you, you were the only friend he had, which only made him more endearing in your mind. You had always had issues making friends, and with your main company being your outgoing boyfriend, it was nice to know someone who went through the same struggle.

Sunghoon was Jake’s complete opposite; he was much more like you. His dark hair contrasted Jake’s dusty blond. He was calm and quiet with a strange sense of humor, not constantly joyous and amused like Jake. In moments when Jake would’ve laughed, he frowned. When Jake would’ve frowned, he laughed.

“And why is that?” you finally replied, and he smiled mysteriously.

“That’s for you to find out.” You snorted, shouldering your bag as you got to your feet, brushing off your pants. “Going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I should start heading home.” you said, checking the time on your watch and disappointed to see it was 7:45. You had plans with Jake at 7:30, and he wasn’t going to be pleased if you were any later than you already were. “Do you need a ride?” Sunghoon shook his head, leaning back against the bench as he looked up at you.

“No. I’ll make my way home.” You cocked your head at him, chuckling as you turned around, waving him goodbye.

“Suit yourself.” you said, and he waved at you as you walked down the street towards your parked car, a few blocks away, eager to get home to Jake before you miss more of your quality time. As you walked, you turned suddenly, gazing down the street at the park bench you had been just a moment before.

Sunghoon was gone.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

“You’re late.” Jake grumbled as you met him outside your home, a sheepish grin on your face. His hands were on his hips, but his disgruntled attitude faded when you pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, and he rested his hands on your waist. “What took you so long.”

“I got caught up with a friend. I hope I’m not too late.” you said, and he smiled, taking your hand as he led you down the driveway onto the sidewalk.

“Better late than never. Ready to go?” you nodded, and you began to walk, heading towards your favorite diner. You both had cars, but you preferred to walk. It allowed for more talking, more eye contact, more intimacy. It felt more real.

“You look really handsome today.” you said, pressing a hand against Jake’s cheek as he immediately grew warm at your compliment. Two years after you’d started dating, and sometimes you still made him feel like a schoolboy with a crush. He smiled with lovesickness.

“Mm, really?”

“Really.” you said, and he pressed a kiss to your lips, your hands swinging together in unison as you held them all the way to the middle of town.

You knew you loved each other, more than anything in the world. And virtually nothing could make you doubt that, or doubt each other. But what you didn’t know was that someone was watching you.

Sunghoon stared unrelentingly as you and Jake walked together. He walked twenty paces behind or so, his footsteps silent, so soft that not even grass bent upon him stepping on it. He watched as you talked, laughed, kissed, reveled passionately in each other's love. It was enviable, he thought.

As you shifted onto busier streets, he followed. Not a single passerby or stranger turned to look at him, nobody noticed as he weaved intricately through the busy crowds, following you and Jake who stumbled through them clumsily. He went completely undetected by everyone, even by you and your boyfriend. He was right when he said nobody noticed him but you; outside of you, his existence meant absolutely nothing.

He watched from outside the diner as you and Jake sat by the windows, sharing a milkshake with two straws like the cliche you were. You assumed Sunghoon didn’t know about your boyfriend; in fact, you’d been purposefully keeping it from him. But of course he knew about your boyfriend, as well as his name, as well as everything else there was to know about him. Sunghoon knew everything about you, and that even included your cheesy, hopelessly romantic boyfriend. As you laughed at Jake’s milk mustache, you looked happier than you’d ever been. Sunghoon frowned.

He knew he had to shut down that happiness somehow, he just wasn’t sure how to. Yet.

He eventually grew tired of seeing you smiling at your boyfriend, sharing meals and stories as the two of you laughed. It began to rain, but the falling droplets never touched his head, and he turned around to walk back home, to wait for you.

To wait for the next time you called for him.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

Burn.

Burn.

Burn.

Let it all burn.

You awoke with a start, sweat matting your hair to your forehead. You sat up in bed, wiping the sweat off your face, looking beside you, flooded with relief when Jake was sleeping beside you peacefully.

You were having a nightmare. Your house was on fire and it was raging, the flames seemingly reaching the heavens as it slowly burned to a crisp. The fire was pulling you in, and for a moment you almost walked inside the burning building, until you heard Jake screaming. You snapped out of whatever trance you were in, running to the front of the house where the sound was coming from. In your front yard, Jake was bleeding, pools of blood surrounding him as he went still. And standing above him was Sunghoon, a bloody smile on his face as he slowly turned to you.

The image of his evil expression was burned into your memory, and you shook your head, carding a hand through your hair as you checked the time on the clock. It was 3:00 in the morning, but you knew you couldn’t go back to bed.

You crept out of bed as quietly as you could, careful not to wake your sleeping boyfriend as you pulled a sweater over your pajamas, walking down the stairs as they creaked, the sounds muffled underneath your slippers.

The cold morning breeze bit at you as you stepped out the front door, careful to lock it behind you. You were hoping a walk and a cigarette would help to clear your mind and calm you down.

You weren’t the type to be freaked out by nightmares, but this one felt hauntingly real. You could feel the warmth of the fire as your house went up in flames, the pure fear as Jake’s screams rang through the empty night. You tried to ignore it, lighting a cigarette and propping it in the corner of your mouth as you wandered the streets.

In your mindless wandering, you found yourself at a grassy park, ten or so streets down from your house. Nobody was here at this hour, and you walked through the trees and playgrounds until you reached a grassy hill that contained a familiar face.

You raised a brow in surprise as you watched Sunghoon sitting at the top of the hill, his back resting against a tree as he read a book, flipping the pages casually.

“What are you doing here? It’s 3 am.” you called to him, taking a drag when he turned to look at you and smiled.

“I don’t sleep.” he replied, his attention shifting back to his book. You climbed the hill slowly, your cigarette propped in your mouth as your slippers grew stained with the green dewy grass.

“What are you, a vampire?” you joked, sitting down beside him when you reached the top. You were hesitant to talk to him after your dream, but you did regardless, his hand reaching out to take a hit from your cigarette, his smile just as vivid as it was in your nightmare. You tried to brush it off. It was just a dream, after all.

“Not a vampire, no.”

“What are you reading?” you asked, and he shut the book, showing you the cover.

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” he replied, and you nodded at him, impressed as you took your cigarette back from his hands.

“Ken Kesey. Nice.” He shrugged.

“It’s interesting. The main character hallucinates all kinds of shit.” You snort.

“I’ve read it.” He smiled, tucking the book away behind him. That smile, which had once seemed so pure, seemed malicious through the lens of your dream.

“I know.” You both grow silent, the sound of burning ash and your breathing being the only sounds in the quiet morning. The two of you watched the grass sway in the wind, completely undisturbed by the presence of other people.

“We run into each other a lot.” you said finally, Sunghoon turning to look at you. You were pensive, your cigarette burning out in your hand until the ash reached your fingers, and you crumbled it in your hand. “Do you sometimes wonder if we can read each other’s minds?” Sunghoon leaned back, closing his eyes against the breeze.

“I’ve never wondered that. I’ve always known it.” You looked at him, your brows drawn as you nudged him with your elbow, him laughing in response.

“You’re pretty strange, you know.”

“You’re pretty strange too. That’s why we like each other.” You couldn’t argue with that, so you didn’t. You just leaned back against the trunk of the tree, your shoulders touching as you and Sunghoon sat in silence, watching the sun slowly rise in the horizon.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

Jake was saying something to you, but you weren’t listening. Lately, you’d been having a hard time focusing on just about anything.

Your nightmare was persisting, coming back to haunt you every night. Ever since that first dream, your mind had been preoccupied with the image of that fire. The fear you felt in your dream crept up on you in your waking hours, the image of Sunghoon’s face burned into your eyes every time you closed them. And it certainly didn’t help that he’d been showing up more than usual, taking more of your time away from things that mattered, like the man in front of you.

You found that you were thinking about Sunghoon more than often. For the past year, he had been your best friend and nothing more, but now, you weren’t sure. His silky hair and mysterious smile kept you up at night, and the gleaming blood on his face as he smiled woke you up in the morning. There was something about him; you couldn’t explain it, but he drew you in just as strongly as that fire in your dream. And the guilt you felt for thinking about him so often was doing nothing to improve your mood, or your relationship.

“Y/n? Are you listening?” Jake asked frustratedly, snapping in your face. You came out of your trance, startling awake as you dropped the tea bag you were holding, the one that had been steeping in your tea for more than a couple minutes now. You threw it into the trash, your angry boyfriend following you as you sat down at the dining table. “I swear you don’t even listen to me anymore.”

“I’m trying to, Jake.” you said, running a hand through your hair. You didn’t even remember what you had been talking about, why he was mad at you in the first place.

“For the past week, you’ve barely spoken to me,” he said. Jake was rarely angry, almost never, but you could hear the resentment in his voice. “You don’t even look at him half the time when we’re together.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” You felt hazy.

“Where are you going at dawn every morning?” Your gaze snapped to him, and his eyes were filled with a flurry of emotion; hurt, anger, sadness. “Every morning, you wake up at 3:00 and leave. You think I haven’t noticed?”

“I’ve been having nightmares. They wake me up.” you dismissed him, taking a sip of your tea and finding it had grown cold during your argument.

“You’re not cheating on me?”

“God, no, Jake.” you said, rubbing your forehead in frustration. “I’m just…I’m just confused right now.”

“Then please, tell me what’s going on!” he said, gesticulating in annoyance. “You won’t even speak to me lately. We used to talk all the time.” You considered telling him about Sunghoon, but this was not the time, nor place. It would only make him angrier, and you hated fighting with Jake more than anything.

“I can’t have this conversation right now.”

“Well, when are we going to have it? I mean, do you even love me anymore? You’ve been avoiding me nonstop.”

The past you would’ve fled, would’ve told yourself that this wasn’t worth the conflict and decided to run. You were used to running, but you were tired of it. The new you loved Jake, and you would get through whatever was stopping your relationship, regardless of how hard it was. And you knew you were the one to blame.

“Of course I love you. I’m sorry.” you said, standing up and abandoning your tea on the table. “I’m just going through a weird spot right now, and it’s hard to explain.” You placed a hand on Jake’s face, and he immediately softened. “Soon, I’ll tell you everything. I promise. I’m just in my own head right now.” He put his hand over yours, smiling tightly but accepting what you said, despite how much it hurt his heart to see you struggle in silence.

“Okay. Okay, that’s fine.” He pressed a kiss onto your hand. “And next time you have nightmares, please, wake me up. I’m happy to keep you company in the morning when you can’t sleep.” You smiled, kissing his cheek as you released him, grabbing your mug of tea and dumping it in the sink.

“How did I get so lucky?” Jake grinned at that, walking with you to the kitchen just to hold your hand, walking you to the living room as the two of you cuddled up on the couch together.

You tried to put it out of your head, but something was off. That little, self-sabotaging part of your brain was screaming, begging to be released, and you knew that somehow, it would manifest itself eventually.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

Burn.

Burn.

Let it all burn.

Flames were eating away at your bed, and you stood in the doorway as it burned. The fire consumed the walls, your house and all its belongings being consumed by golden flames licking the sky with their enormous size. You watched as your closet, then the bed sheets, then the clock on your nightstand table reading 3:00 am. The fire spread until your room was consumed whole. The house was burning down. And there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“Wake up!” a voice screamed, and you recognized it to be Jake’s through your trance. “Y/n, wake up!” You were confused, turning around to see him behind you, tugging at you, shaking your shoulders with vigor. There was desperation in his eyes, his eyebrows drawn as he shouted at you, desperately pulling, but you wouldn’t budge.

Shouldn’t he be dead by now? This wasn’t how the dream was supposed to go.

“Y/n, wake up!”

Something snapped, and suddenly you were awake, but the house kept burning. Wrathful fire ate away at the furniture and your bed, the walls beginning to collapse in on themself as the house moaned with the effort of keeping itself upright. The house shook, the walls caving in, Jake standing behind you in his pajamas, shocked awake, desperately trying to pull you away.

“Please, we have to get out! Now!”

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.” you murmured, still in a sleepy haze. “Am I dreaming?” But it didn’t seem like a dream, no, it was all too real. Your house was on fire, and you began to cry, tears streaming down your face as you stared at your burning bedroom, paralyzed with grief.

Jake pulled violently on your arm, leading you out of the bedroom and through the house. It was full of fire, your staircase burning the bottoms of your feet as you both ran to the front door, flames licking your skin until you finally made it outside.

“What just happened?” you asked, your voice trembling as you both watched your house burn down, the framework being the only thing left. The fire let out a roar, the roof creaking before it crashed in on itself, the walls crumpling to the floor. The flames ate at the grass, igniting your yard and everything around, the ravenous fire slowly spreading across the ground. Somehow, only your house was the one ignited. Nothing else. “How…how did this happen?”

“I don’t know.” Jake replied mournfully, and you began to cry, your shoulders shaking as sobs wracked through your body, and Jake held you close, tears running down his cheeks as well.

You both watched the house you had so dutifully loved, and the relationship you’d made inside of it, burn to the ground, turned to ash and dust. It was all lost. And you knew it had something to do with you, the dreams you’d been having.

Somehow, you had this creeping feeling that the man with the bloody smile, the man who haunted your dreams, was at fault.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

The police said the fire was likely due to a pilot light and an excess of gas, some logical, reasonable explanation, but you weren’t listening. Jake was nodding along to their long-winded speech, but you were staring off into the distance, eyes zoned out on the wall of the police station where you sat.

You felt Jake grasp your hand, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin, but you were too enraged to even feel it. Sunghoon was at fault for this. You knew it. Your brain had been warning you, sending you fire-filled nightmares until they finally became reality. It was his fault. It was his fault.

And you were going to find him.

“Smoke break.” you muttered when your boyfriend and the police looked at you questioning, standing up in the middle of their explanation with your fists tightly clenched. You strode out, Jake covering for you, telling the police you were a smoker, you were stressed, all the things they wanted to hear. Their voices went silent as the door closed behind you and you walked right out of the station, not sure where you were going but knowing you’d run into him somewhere. You always did.

“Are you looking for me?” Sunghoon said, and you shrieked at the sound of his voice, startled. You had walked nearly five streets away, to that empty park you had seen him in just a couple of days previously, and there he was, sitting against the same tree at the top of the hill. You slowly walked up to him.

“Sunghoon.” your voice trembled as you spoke, with anger or fear, you weren’t sure. “Was it your fault?” He cocked his head at you, shutting his book.

“Was what my fault?” You shook your head at him.

“You know what I’m talking about. You always know. So tell me, was the fire your fault?” For a minute he didn’t respond, until his lips spread into a crooked grin, and you felt a shiver of fright run down your spine. You had never been scared of Sunghoon, not since you met him that day on the street, but now you felt pure fear when you looked into his eyes. That haunting smile had come to life, from your dreams into your reality, and although there was no blood, you could feel it in the way he looked at you.

“You ruined everything.” you said quietly, your shoulders trembling. “My house is gone. Burned to the ground.”

“C’mon, don’t tell me you actually cared about that house.” He stood, and you backed away from him, stumbling down the hill as he pressed towards you. “Or is it Jake that you’re really worried about?”

“What?”

“Don’t play games. I know about your boyfriend, I’ve known since the day we met.” You never told him about Jake, you were certain you had never slipped up.

“Have you been following me?” you asked, confused and frightened, and he smiled again, that same bloody smile.

“I don’t need to. I told you, I know everything about you.”

“I’m done with this. You’re crazy.” you said with finality, dizzy with rage and fear as you turned and walked away from him, your slow pace turning into a run as you sought to be as far from him as possible.

“No, I’m not. You are.” he called after you, but you didn’t hear it, running against the wind as the sun just began to come up, peeking over the cloudy horizon.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

You didn’t see Sunghoon for a while after that. You and Jake rented a studio apartment at the edge of town, it being the only thing you could afford after you lost all the money that was tied up in the house. You were both depressed, but at least you were together.

Sunghoon’s actions weighed heavy on your mind. You didn’t tell Jake that he was the one to blame for the fire, you were afraid of how he would react. If you revealed you had been keeping Sunghoon a secret for this long, he might blame you for the house burning down, and where would you go from there? You had already lost your best friend, and you weren’t willing to lose your boyfriend too.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Jake said quietly. He was sitting on the couch, head in his hands, as he usually did when he had nothing to distract him. “You’re keeping something from me.” You didn’t respond, because you knew he was right. You were keeping something from him, something enormous, and it was eating away at you. “You won’t talk, you’re smoking more than usual, you’re withdrawn-”

“My house just burnt down, Jake.”

“It was my house too.” he said sharply, and you didn’t reply. You could feel a distance growing between you and Jake, getting wider with every day, and you didn’t know how to fix it. You were desperate to resolve this issue, but how could you tell him that you were to blame for the fire being lit?

“Tell me about your nightmares.”

“What?’ you said, your brows lifting in surprise. He looked up at you, his eyes pleading with you for any kind of response, something he could work with.

“You said you were having nightmares. Tell me about them.”

You didn’t want to, not at all, it would make you have to explain everything to him. But you owed him that, so you sat beside him. And you told him.

“Our house burnt down in your dream? Every night?” he asked, in shock that you could’ve predicted what happened. “And I died?”

You swallowed down your guilt. You kept out the part where Sunghoon was the one to kill him, just saying he had died somehow, but lying to him out loud felt much more horrible than just keeping things from him.

“Yeah. I don’t know why, it just happened.” You expected him to yell, to blame you, to say anything, but he didn’t. He just nodded, like he understood, and you heaved a breath of relief.

“Okay. Okay, I get it.” He abruptly stood, grabbing his keys, and you looked at him with confusion. “I’m going on a drive to clear my head. I’ll be back.”

As he said it, he walked out the door, and you prayed that he was right, that he really was going to come back.

After all the occasions of lying to him, it was Jake’s turn to lie to you. He attemped to keep the wheel steady as he searched for a psychologist, anyone who might be able to give him an answer about what was going on with you. He felt guilty, but that guilt began to slowly disappear as he pulled into the garage of a towering building, walking into the lobby and attempting to find someone who could help him. The secretary led him into a white room, a man sitting at a desk who smiled at him warmly, a kind gesture he was happy to receive.

“Jake? Sit down.” the man said, and Jake sat. “I’m Dr. Yang, but you can call me Jungwon if that makes you more comfortable.”

Jake nodded nervously, looking around the room, scared of the stale, white appearance. It was frightening, an unfamiliar territory that felt foreign to him. He felt like he was selling you out, like he was putting your fate into the hands of another person, but he couldn’t help it. He knew he had to do something.

“So,” Dr. Yang said, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. Jake gulped with anticipation, a mix of fear and guilt running through his veins as the psychologist’s judging eyes landed on him, narrowed. “Tell me about your girlfriend.”

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

You were wandering around town, as you had often been doing. It’s not like you had anything better to do, with Jake busy and your mind distracting you from getting any work done. There was a flurry of thoughts running through your head, a synthetic blur of fire, blood, and everything you wanted to suppress. It was overwhelming you.

You were on an empty street. You found that lately you wanted to avoid running into other people. You didn’t want to hear their conversations, see their judging eyes, no, you wanted to be alone.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Sunghoon said, and you nearly jumped in fright. His ability to seemingly come out of nowhere was jarring, and it was beginning to frighten you. Not only did he appear whenever you wanted to see him the least, he always knew exactly where you were. Every minute of the day, down to the exact location. How was that possible?

When you recognized him, you narrowed your eyes, turning away and walking as fast as you could. With long strides, he easily caught up to you.

“What? Are you ignoring me?

“I don’t want to see you ever again.” you spat back at him, and he seemed amused by your vitriolity, eyes crinkingly up into humorous crescents.

“Oh, don’t you get it?” he smiled, and you felt that same fear run up your spine, the fear you felt when you first confronted him about lighting the fire. With every day, he was becoming more like the man you saw in your dream and less like your best friend. “You can’t get rid of me.”

“Please, just go away.” you said, your angry voice tinged with desperation, pleading with him to leave you alone so you could return to the peaceful life you used to have, and for a moment, it looked like he almost pitied you.

“Why? Did I cause problems between you and Jake?” You whipped around, furious that he was still able to read your mind in moments like this.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“So I was right. I am causing issues between the two of you.” he seemed happy at the prospect of his meddling, and that only made you more concerned, watching the way his smile grew. “Exactly as I expected.”

“Stay away from him.”

“I can’t guarantee that.” He was the exact vision you saw in your dream, smiling with malice and hatred like you had never seen in a human face. You feared for Jake’s life. If Sunghoon had managed to make your fiery nightmare come to life, who was to say he wouldn’t kill Jake as well? Maybe your mind was trying to warn you about him, to tell you what he was going to do next.

“Please, don’t hurt him.”

“Don’t worry. If he dies, it won’t be me that kills him.” You didn’t understand what he was saying and you didn’t want to, so you walked away, refusing to speak as tears began running down your face. Luckily, this time he didn’t follow. You turned to see him staring at you, that smile on his face.

Maybe you were to blame, for blindly trusting a stranger. Sunghoon had managed to worm his way into your brain. He knew you inside out; your behavior, your thoughts, he almost knew you better than you knew yourself. He was living inside your mind. He had infected every part of your life, even your dreams, and you were suddenly wishing that you had never let him sit down next to you on that bench a year ago.

When you looked back at him again, he was gone.

You ran back to your apartment as quickly as you could, praying that Jake was back from his drive. You were relieved to see him safe and sound, sitting on the couch. But something was off; he was staring at the wall, completely silent, his eyes glazed as he clutched a half-empty beer in his hand.

“Jake?” He turned to the sound of your voice. “Is everything alright?” He didn’t respond for a minute, like his brain was processing your question.

“I’m fine.” he said after a moment, turning back to the wall, staring at the peeling wallpaper with rigor. Unable to turn his attention to you.

That night, you went to bed with a heavy heart and a buzzing brain. You were grateful to see that Jake had climbed into bed next to you as usual, but you were much too scared to sleep, no, you were afraid to even close your eyes. You watched the new clock beside your bed as the hours flew by, and suddenly it was 2:30 am. You still hadn’t fallen asleep.

You buried yourself further under the covers, Jake’s light snoring comforting you as you tried desperately to get to sleep. But your mind was racing. It was a flurry of images, most of them Sunghoon. You rolled over towards your bedside table, reaching for the bottle of sleeping pills your boyfriend had bought you in hopes of easing your vivid nightmares. You popped one in your mouth, swallowing it dry before you closed your eyes, praying for the sweet feeling of sleep.

As you drifted off, you stared into the image of Sunghoon’s bloody face carved into the back of your eyelids.

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

You awoke with a start. The house was completely silent, no evidence of anything that could’ve woken you from your sleep, but you were on high alert. Your heart raced as you looked around the room, falling on the empty space next to you in bed. You immediately sat up in bed, searching the room with your eyes.

“Jake?” you whispered, and heard no response. You slowly got up, your feet padding softly across the floor as you came around the bed. As you stepped forward, you felt your skin grow wet. When you looked down, you were horrified to see the source.

Blood. Red and thick streaks of it running across the floor, leading from your bed to the door to your bedroom, which was slightly ajar. The door you remembered firmly shutting before you went to sleep.

Your heart felt like it was burning in your chest, buzzing with fear as you followed the trail of blood, a sob escaping you when you saw it ran down the staircase, and you clapped a hand over your mouth.

“Jake?” you said again, calling out for him, your voice breaking as it rang empty in the night. He didn’t reply. You dialled 119 on your phone, your hands shaking as it rang. “Hello?”

“119, what’s your emergency?” a voice answered on the other side, and you trembled, slowly descending the blood soaked stairs.

“There’s blood all over my house. I…I think someone killed my boyfriend.” you said, your voice cracking as you broke into a sob, clapping a hand over your mouth to silence yourself. “Please, please hurry.” You followed the blood further, a horrible, debilitating sense of deja vu striking you as it led to the front yard. You prayed this wasn’t true, that it was just another cruel dream, but it felt as real as anything.

“We’re sending units to your location. Stay where you are, we’ll be there soon.” You wanted to listen, to follow instructions, but you dropped your phone, the call ending when you saw what was waiting for you in the front yard.

The closer you got, the more you could see that it was Jake, laying in the grass, his mouth and eyes open in a silent plea. His right fist was clenched shut, and he was covered in blood, and you abandoned all caution to run to him, collapsing onto the ground, blood wetting your dress and your hands as you cradled him in your arms.

This couldn’t be true. You’d had this dream over and over, night after night, but you never thought it would become your reality. You felt like your entire world was shattering. You had lost Jake, you had lost him permanently, and it was all your fault, for welcoming a stranger.

“I told you.” Sunghoon said, his voice quiet as he stood behind you, watching you hold Jake’s body as you sobbed. You could barely address him, too concerned with grief. “I told you he’d die.”

“This is all your fault.” you said, your voice shaking with fear, anger, grief, all the emotions you could imagine were running through you at one time. “I never should’ve befriended you.”

“Oh, you didn’t have a choice.” Sunghoon said, kneeling next to you, his hands resting on his knees. The sound of sirens began to ring through the air, blue and red light shining across the street as cop cars pulled up in front of your house. “We didn’t meet that day. I’ve always been with you.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, but he didn’t respond.

He got to his feet, his eyes dark and filled with pity as police officers ran out of their cars and towards you, straight past Sunghoon. You pointed to him, eyes wild as they looked at you, then the direction of your finger.

“That’s him! He killed my boyfriend!”

“Ma’am, we’re going to need you to let go of the body.” They ignored you, prying Jake out of your hands. Sunghoon watched as they dragged you away from Jake, inspecting his body while you screamed at them, pleading with them to catch the killer, to arrest him for what he had done to your boyfriend. You still didn’t understand. It was almost pitiful.

You were still screaming and pleading when an officer approached you, a note in his hand, almost illegible through the sheen of blood that covered it.

“Are you y/n?” he asked, and you only cried harder, which seemed to confirm his question. He raised the note, displaying it to you, and you attempted to read it through your tears, your eyes going dry when you processed it.

Y/n killed me.

It was Jake’s handwriting, you knew it. After two years, you’d recognize his handwriting anywhere, the distinctive scribble, the way the letter y looped at the tail. Your heart felt like it would stop in your chest as the officer stared at you scrutinizingly.

“You’re under arrest.”

“What? No, you don’t understand.” you said desperately, struggling against the rough hands of the officer as he attempted to cuff you, wriggling desperately. “I didn’t kill him, Sunghoon did! He killed him!” you screamed, pointing at the dark haired man standing in the shadows, watching.

The more you looked at him, the more you realized that you didn’t know anything about him. Sunghoon always had the ability to read your mind, but you couldn’t name a single thing about him apart from what you had in common. Where did he live? What was his last name? What was his family like? Where did he go to school, where did he work? You couldn’t recall anything, and your eyes widened in terror as he stared at you from the sidewalk, casting no shadow on the pavement.

Then, he smiled, that bloody, horrible smile, the one that haunted you in every sleeping and waking moment.

“Sunghoon killed him!” you cried desperately, the officer staring in confusion at the empty space you were pointing to, the only thing in the silent night being the trees and bloody sidewalks. He turned back to you, and the next three words he spoke made you feel like you could die on the spot, you were so filled with dread and fear.

“Who is Sunghoon?”

𖣂 𖣂 𖣂

back to the masterlist.

[vague-humanoid]

A 2020 paper revealed the cause of mortality: a chemical called 6PPD that is added to tires to prevent their cracking and degradation. When 6PPD, which occurs in tire dust, is exposed to ground-level ozone, it’s transformed into multiple other chemicals, including 6PPD-quinone, or 6PPD-q. The compound is acutely toxic to four of 11 tested fish species, including coho salmon.

Mystery solved, but not the problem, for the chemical continues to be used by all major tire manufacturers and is found on roads and in waterways around the world. Though no one has studied the impact of 6PPD-q on human health, it’s also been detected in the urine of children, adults, and pregnant women in South China. The pathways and significance of that contamination are, so far, unknown.

[purpled-royalty]

I haven’t been the most active on here, as i’m in the middle of studying for finals, but I did get to work on Tiara’s character profile and wanted to share more about her.

It does include info from a short story i’m writing, but no major spoilers ✨

Tiara’s Profile

Basic Information

Name: Tiara Kiyoto

Age: 25

Birthday: May 10

Sign: Taurus

Blood Type: O

Love Interest: Nacht Faust

Birthplace: Land of Eden

Current Location: Clover Kingdom

Affinity: Galaxy

Likes: Mangos and Sweet Treats

Voice Claim: Anairis Quinones (Mirko in MHA and Nessa in Pokémon) Link: Tiara's Voice

Appearance

Height: 166 cm

Eyes: Red

Scars: She has a tiny scar on her left eyebrow (so hair doesn’t grow there anymore)

Hair: Dark brown 3C curly hair. Her hair (also lightens in the sun to a slightly lighter shade of brown). She has two prominent beaded braids as bangs, and tends to wear her hair in a ponytail to keep it out of her face during combat. For formal events she usually wears her hair down, and often changes the colour of the beads on her braids to suit her attire.

Clothing: Tiara wears practical clothing, that’s easy to move around in or complete her missions in. Her everyday outfit usually consists of shorts, tights and boots, however, after she moved to clover she does sometimes enjoy dressing up in formal attire. She likes sparkly clothing + pairing neutral colours with bright accents or colours that match the galactic stars (blues, purples)

Link: Tiara's full everyday outfit

Personality

Tiara is strong, charming, free-spirited and independent with a bit of a wild streak. She has the tendency to be a bit stubborn, and make rash decisions. She is quick to defend her friends and people she cares about, and loves them all unconditionally. She will do everything she can to protect them.

She hated her magic attribute and initially refused to use her magic for the fear of being resold as a slave. However, she soon learned that her magic attribute could be potentially helpful in defence of her loved ones and continues to use her magic to protect those she cares about.

Background

Tiara was born in a country far from clover where she was taken from her parents as a child because of her magic type. She was born into a prestigious “branch” of “royalty” in her corrupt kingdom (in quotation marks as her father decided he wanted nothing to do with being royal and quit his duties). As Tiara’s father quit the royal house to live an average life, the royal family used a magic tool to drain his magical abilities - despite that, Tiara’s father still went on to marry and live a happy life - he was aware of the consequences and was willing. Tiara’s father took his wife’s last name “Kiyoto” to fully disassociate with the royal family.

Her kingdom feared/ disliked mages who possessed strong and rare magic/ magic types outside the royal family / royal brigade (hence why her father’s magic was drained when he left). Due to this the leaders often sold mages with rare magic attributes/ abilities as kid slaves to other nations. The mages that weren't bought were often constantly drained of their magic power using different magical tools, so that they can 'safely' reproduce and create more slaves for the Kingdom to sell (this was their way of forming some sort of dictatorship over the land).

Tiara was sold as a slave mage to a family in Spade, who were later all killed by Dante during the initial takeover of Spade. Dante tried to kill Tiara, but he thought her magic type was 'arcane,' and kept her alive as his own slave mage warrior. He promised her freedom if she fought with the Zogaratis family to fully take over the Spade, Clover, Heart & Diamond Kingdoms (Tiara believed this, although in reality he lied and had no intention of freeing her).

The promise of freedom drove Tiara to work hard, as all she really knew was the lonely and tough life of slavery, so she fought for the Zogarits' to assist with the takeover.

Tiara met Nacht while he was undercover. He captured her and took her to the Clover Kingdom as a prisoner, and long story short she got saved, and eventually joined the magic knights. Tiara now fights alongside the clover knights in the Black Bulls and eventually falls for Nacht (classic enemies to lovers trope).

Magic

Affinity/ Attribute: Galaxy Magic

Description: Tiara’s Galaxy Magic is an ancient and powerful magical attribute of her Kingdom that allows the user to manipulate the cosmos and celestial forces. This unique magic type draws energy from the stars, planets, gravitational systems and the vastness of the universe, enabling the her to wield a wide range of galaxy-based spells with both offensive and defensive capabilities.

Her magic in its natural state takes form of galactic particles, using it to form vast nebulas that swirl around her.

She is an all rounded mage but mainly specialises in attack. She’s mainly a close range mage as she likes to use daggers by coating/ infusing her magic in them (although it’s not necessary for all her spells it’s just one of her preferred ways of fighting cause she’s fast and flexible)

Grimoire: Tiara’s grimoire is black and blue, and from the Spade Kingdom.

Link: Tiara's Grimoire

Trivia

- Tiara’s favourite things are sweet treats and mangos, if she could eat them for the rest of her life, she would.

- Tiara likes to stargaze, and also watch the moon and sun.

- She can’t cook to save her life, she often makes her food too sweet or too spicy for others to enjoy.

- She loves animals, but animals don’t love her. She is surprisingly good at horse riding though.

- Tiara is naturally very flexible, and agile.

- Tiara’s mother and father were told that they couldn’t have children so her mother prayed for years for a child so Tiara was kind of their “miracle baby”

- Tiara’s full name is actually tiaraluwa (but she goes by tiara, tia or just T) it means “royal gift” as her parents believe she was Gods gift to them.

[cottagehorror-lesbians-stuff]

how the image of abel and cain was used to portray lee dong-sik and lee yu-yeon

a not so short draft of an essay

ricardo j. quinones

1- abel and cain

not everyone is familiar with biblical stories (and it's normal) so here is their story as you can find it in some versions of the genesis, further analyses will be cited as i go:

wikipedia, genesis 4:1-18

2- lee dong-sik and lee yu-yeon

. since they are twins, their link to one another is reinforced. where age and gender could semiotically separate them, the fact that they are twins means that they are half each other's whole person. it is of course not true when you apply it to a realistic dimension. but on a symbolic level, they are doubles and they do reflect each other.

. lee yu-yeon was chosen to be the conventionally successful one, leading a good christian life, to whom praise and opportunities were given due to her good temperament. arguably it was subjective.

. lee dong-sik was the 'hopeless' child, constantly compared to his alter-ego. but it does not always seem fair or justified.

. however, the twins did not apply society's judgement to one another. lee dong-sik did not resent lee yu-yeon for being well-considered. lee yu-yeon did not resent lee dong-sik for not being as successful and hard-working as her. they cared for each other, and did not let external factors tear them apart or create jealousy and dissensions between them. if they ever argued, i best believe it most likely had nothing to do with the values of society or of their religious community, but just brother-sister shenanigans.

3- lee dong-sik as cain and lee yu-yeon as abel

. lee yu-yeon and abel are symbolically the first murder victims, both in the bible and in the context of the show. lee yu-yeon starts the storyline.s that we are following, even though previous crimes had been committed. you can see my post on lee yu-yeon here, where i mention it separately. on top of this, ricardo j. quinones mentions abel as such:

and indeed lee yu-yeon is the missing piece in solving the crimes in manyang. she is also the christlike figure of innocence who receives the most compassion due to her integration in society's conventions.

. lee yu-yeon and abel are both favored by higher authorities, be it by god in the bible, or by adults, society, and religious community in beyond evil. both in the bible and in beyond evil, this preference proves to be arbitrary, difficult to substantially back up, and unfair. even perhaps not willed by the concerned protagonists. this preference is also the reason why their deaths become so pivotal in each story.

. lee dong-sik in parallel is not cain. but he is turned into cain by figures of authority. he is framed, and most importantly, rendered responsible for his sister's disappearance. if we refer to the wikipedia passage of the genesis i included, it is textually visible that both lee dong-sik and cain reject at first the responsibility for their sibling's disappearance. only, one is being honest, and the other deceptive. cain's story was the easiest narrative to apply to lee dong-sik: the jealous, treacherous brother who stole a precious life because of a wounded pride. and bodies were found in a field where lee dong-sik's guitar pick was once planted, echoing to the first crime in the bible, and its perpetrator.

. arguably, lee yu-yeon's disappearance and the accusations against lee dong-sik echo to the cain-abel story, as ricardo j. quinones puts it:

the twins' story marks the shift between what manyang could have been before the murders and what it became, a shift in its dynamic, the end of a way of life. paralleling the cain-abel story and lee dong-sik - lee yu-yeon's is also useful in the exploration of family dynamics, and how preferences between siblings can prove detrimental.

. since the unconscious of manyang perceives lee dong-sik as the bearer of cain's appearance, he receives equal punishment, although he is in fact innocent. he is cursed with being a wanderer. and with that: an untouchable wanderer, so that his punishment is even greater than just being an outcast. he is unpunishable for a crime he is believed to have committed, but he is forever judged poorly by his peers. he is not sent to prison, but he never reintegrates society per se.

ernesto livorni points out cain's condition as follows:

. we can also take quite literally the fact that god curses cain with never being able to cultivate the soil again. lee dong-sik is left to hope for lee yu-yeon fo twenty years, unable to find any traces of her wherever he is looking. and his endless quest takes a major part of his life away from him, forever. he is left living on nothing, always seeking what he cannot find.

4- some other thoughts

. now, that was the most obvious links that came to my mind. but the show in itself insists on deconstructing the cain narrative built around lee dong-sik. and to do so, as aforementioned, they portray the twins' relation as bulletproof to society's imposed rhetoric on their dynamics.

they loved each other, and supported each other. there was no jealousy, no resentment, no competition. love is the final answer provided by the writers of the show to end dissensions, or to cope with them within communities.

. in parallel, lee dong-sik was able to break away from his curse when he could expose the truth and find lee yu-yeon. he was also able to receive punishment for his misdeeds, and able to clear his name, to find a new sense of community.

. lee yu-yeon died in a field, yes, but her body was trapped in the wall of her house. this also breaks away from abel and cain's narrative: the evil was not her brother. it was something else. the town's people were wrong in assuming lee dong-sik could do something like this to his own sister. not being able to find her body for so long was lee dong-sik's curse and redemption. he both suffered from a lack of closure, and then gained a definite means to prove that he was innocent.

. i'd like to conclude my brief analysis with once again a quote from ricardo j. quinones, which i think sums up well the importance of how the cain-abel story was used in the context of beyond evil:

[imgibbon]

a random sampling of the Metal Men and Nightwing (and Power Girl) of the Tangent Comics through the decades

The Nineties- Metal Men #1, Nightwing #1, Nightwing: Night Force #1, Power Girl #1

The Metal Men are the movers and shakers of the Tangent Universe, at least, they were in the first couple waves of the comics. Comprising a team of six who were operation in the late 60s during WW3, they comprised six members (seems to be a running theme in this world). Their final mission went a bit wrong, and the team broke up. Three of them operate out in the open, with Sam Schwartz becoming President of the United States, John "Hawkman" Holliday acting as his Chief of Staff, and Rey "Lobo" Quinones working spec ops. On the other side of the equation tho...

...was Nightwing, the shadow government, created to manage the world's metahumans from behind the scenes. Marcus "Deadman" Moore lead them, aided by Francis "Black Lightning" Powell and Carl "Gravedigger" Waiters. Gravedigger would also head up a team of unruly agents who believed themselves to be subverting the organization, but were instead unwittingly doing the jobs not even the 'normal' Nightwing operatives wanted to do. They were Wildcat (who transforms into a beast upon hearing the word "Shazzam!"); Hex, with his familiar Nightshade and dark arts; Black Orchid, a witch who used tantric energies to power sadistic spells; and The Creeper, who could trap and use peoples' souls to his own end.

Across the pond, "Meridian" operated out of Eurasia, serving as the old world analog to Nightshade. It had many operatives and leaders, including the ancient immortal Vampire warlock Joseph Stalin (no, really), but its two top agents being Jade and Obsidian, who would often work with either the Metal Men or Nightshade as befitted their needs.

All three of these forces, the Metal Men, Nightshade, and Meridian, came together, both co-operatively and at odds, when China perfected its super soldier program and engineered Power Girl. Everyone wanted to be the ones to "rescue", and therefor take control of, the new metahuman, but she had other ideas, promptly displaying her seemingly limitless power and taking off to figure out what she wanted to do with her life on her own terms.

The Aughts- Superman's Reign

Ten years later, during the reign of The Superman, all these players were in a very different game. The Metal Men were no more, The Superman having dismantled all the world governments during his bid for power, and Nightshade was largely disbanded. Hex had joined the resistance and eventually became a member of the Outsiders, the successor team to the Secret Six, while Jade & Obsidian worked as enforcers for The Superman, ever the ones to work for what they deemed to be the winning side.

Power Girl, on the other hand, had become Harvey's new wife, the only one who could match both his near limitless powerset and detachment from humanity, they found in each other kindred spirits... and made everyone else's lives worse for it, even if they thought they were doing it for the greater good. Also, in my opinion, she got a much better costume. She was defeated alongside Harvey, and hasn't really been seen since.

The Teens & The Twenties- nothin'...

Not just Power Girl, none of these folks have really made an appearance in the ensuing years. Given the state of things in Green Lantern Dark, I wouldn't be surprised to see some of the Nightwing or Meridian folks pop up, but for now, we'll just have to wait and see...

[drrubinspomade]

#gia genevieve #justine quinones photo

STILL ROCKIN’.

We post glorious pinups like this one all day, every day! If you dig this pic we’ve found online, u should investigate the creator/subjects of the work and fan them, follow them, hire them.

If you’d like us to remove, or you know who made this so that we can credit, DM. Thanks and greetings from Los Angeles.

YOU ARE THE LIGHT

Dr Rubin’s Pomade

[wlesor]

Wlesor Launches Innovative Health Supplement To Help People Live Longer and Healthier Lives

Wlesor Is A Health Supplement Brand That Empowers People To Be The Best They Can Be!!!

Wlesor is a US-based health supplement brand with a mission: helping people live longer, healthier lives by exploring the frontiers of science. Wlesor is unique because it doesn’t focus on one specific area of health—it investigates all aspects of human health, from the molecular level to the whole person. The company’s founders are scientists and doctors with decades of experience in the field, and they are passionate about using science to help people live healthier lives.

What makes Wlesor different from other health supplements is its focus on integrative medicine. Integrative medicine takes a holistic approach to health, considering the entire person—body, mind, and spirit—when treating illness. This approach has been shown to be more effective than conventional methods in treating diseases such as cancer, diabetes, and heart disease.

"With the continuous extension of the human life span, the gap between a healthy, high-quality life span and the natural life span is becoming larger and larger," said the spokesperson at Wlesor. "The goal of Wlesor is to explore innovative anti-aging science and cutting-edge technologies to help people stay healthy, slow down the aging process, and live longer while being full of energy to do what they want."

Wlesor has developed various products and supplements that include ingredients such as spermidine, PQQ, coenzyme Q10, apple stem cells, and glutathione—proven to be effective. The unique ingredient PQQ (pyrroloquinoline quinone), branded as PureQQ™, targets the enhancement of NGF (nerve growth factor) production, a neurotrophic factor and neuropeptide primarily involved in the regulation of growth, maintenance, proliferation, and survival of certain neurons.

Among its wide range of benefits, Wlesor’s PQQ is commonly used for anti-aging prevention and protection of vital organs, including the brain, heart, and liver. Studies have shown that PQQ can improve heart health, reduce inflammation, increase lifespan, prevent cancer, and more.

Wlesor’s team of professionals regularly updates blog posts to stay current with the latest health news. The health supplement brand also provides valuable knowledge and resources through its website and YouTube videos.

About Wlesor

Wlesor is a health supplement brand based in the United States. Its mission is to help people live longer, healthier lives by exploring the frontiers of science. The company conducts clinical trials and partners with universities and other organizations to select premium ingredients and offer superior quality, safe, clean, and effective products. Wlesor provides high-quality, advanced nutrients, including unique crystalline form PQQ products, which are GMP-standard manufactured, use patented ingredients, are third-party tested and validated, come in premium vegetarian capsules, and are safe, clean, legal, and effective.

Media Contact

Company Name: Wlesor

Email: Send Email 

Country: United States 

Website: www.wlesor.com

[female-malice]

For two decades, researchers worked to solve a mystery in West Coast streams. Why, when it rained, were large numbers of spawning coho salmon dying? As part of an effort to find out, scientists placed fish in water that contained particles of new and old tires. The salmon died, and the researchers then began testing the hundreds of chemicals that had leached into the water.

A 2020 paper revealed the cause of mortality: a chemical called 6PPD that is added to tires to prevent their cracking and degradation. When 6PPD, which occurs in tire dust, is exposed to ground-level ozone, it’s transformed into multiple other chemicals, including 6PPD-quinone, or 6PPD-q. The compound is acutely toxic to four of 11 tested fish species, including coho salmon.

Mystery solved, but not the problem, for the chemical continues to be used by all major tire manufacturers and is found on roads and in waterways around the world. Though no one has studied the impact of 6PPD-q on human health, it’s also been detected in the urine of children, adults, and pregnant women in South China. The pathways and significance of that contamination are, so far, unknown.

Still, there are now calls for regulatory action. Last month, the legal nonprofit Earthjustice, on behalf of the fishing industry, filed a notice of intent to sue tire manufacturers for violating the Endangered Species Act by using 6PPD. And a coalition of Indian tribes recently called on the EPA to ban use of the chemical. “We have witnessed firsthand the devastation to the salmon species we have always relied upon to nourish our people,” the Puyallup Tribal Council said in a statement. “We have watched as the species have declined to the point of almost certain extinction if nothing is done to protect them.”

The painstaking parsing of 6PPD and 6PPD-q was just the beginning of a global campaign to understand the toxic cocktail of organic chemicals, tiny particles, and heavy metals hiding in tires and, to a lesser extent, brakes. While the acute toxicity of 6PPD-q and its source have strong scientific consensus, tire rubber contains more than 400 chemicals and compounds, many of them carcinogenic, and research is only beginning to show how widespread the problems from tire dust may be.

While the rubber rings beneath your car may seem benign — one advertising campaign used to feature babies cradled in tires — they are, experts say, a significant source of air, soil, and water pollution that may affect humans as well as fish, wildlife, and other organisms. That’s a problem because some 2 billion tires globally are sold each year — enough to reach the moon if stacked on their sides — with the market expected to reach 3.4 billion a year by 2030.

(Researchers weigh a salmon that died after four hours in a tank filled with road runoff.)

Tires are made from about 20 percent natural rubber and 24 percent synthetic rubber, which requires five gallons of petroleum per tire. Hundreds of other ingredients, including steel, fillers, and heavy metals — including copper, cadmium, lead, and zinc — make up the rest, many of them added to enhance performance, improve durability, and reduce the possibility of fires.

Both natural and synthetic rubber break down in the environment, but synthetic fragments last a lot longer. Seventy-eight percent of ocean microplastics are synthetic tire rubber, according to a report by the Pew Charitable Trust. These fragments are ingested by marine animals — particles have been found in gills and stomachs — and can cause a range of effects, from neurotoxicity to growth retardation and behavioral abnormalities.

“We found extremely high levels of microplastics in our stormwater,” said Rebecca Sutton, an environmental scientist with the San Francisco Estuary Institute who studied runoff. “Our estimated annual discharge of microplastics into San Francisco Bay from stormwater was 7 trillion particles, and half of that was suspected tire particles.”

Tire wear particles, or TWP as they are sometimes known, are emitted continually as vehicles travel. They range in size from visible pieces of rubber or plastic to microparticles, and they comprise one of the products’ most significant environmental impacts, according to the British firm Emissions Analytics, which has spent three years studying tire emissions. The company found that a car’s four tires collectively emit 1 trillion ultrafine particles — of less than 100 nanometers — per kilometer driven. These particles, a growing number of experts say, pose a unique health risk: They are so small they can pass through lung tissue into the bloodstream and cross the blood-brain barrier or be breathed in and travel directly to the brain, causing a range of problems.

According to a recent report issued by researchers at Imperial College London, “There is emerging evidence that tyre wear particles and other particulate matter may contribute to a range of negative health impacts including heart, lung, developmental, reproductive, and cancer outcomes.”

The report says that tires generate 6 million tons of particles a year, globally, of which 200,000 tons end up in oceans. According to Emissions Analytics, cars in the U.S. emit, on average, 5 pounds of tire particles a year, while cars in Europe, where fewer miles are driven, shed 2.5 pounds per year. Moreover, tire emissions from electric vehicles are 20 percent higher than those from fossil-fuel vehicles. EVs weigh more and have greater torque, which wears out tires faster.

Unlike tailpipe exhaust, which has long been studied and regulated, emissions from tires and brakes — which emit significant amounts of metallic particles in addition to organic chemicals — are far harder to measure and control and have therefore escaped regulation. It’s only in the last several years, with the development of new technologies capable of measuring tire emissions and the alarming discovery of 6PPD-q, that the subject is receiving much needed scrutiny.

Recent studies show that the mass of PM 2.5 and PM 10 emissions — which are, along with ozone and ultrafine particles, the world’s primary air pollutants — from tires and brakes far exceeds the mass of emissions from tailpipes, at least in places that have significantly reduced those emissions.

The problem isn’t just rubber in its synthetic and natural form. Government and academic researchers are investigating the transformations produced by tires’ many other ingredients, which could — like 6PPD — form substances more toxic than their parent chemicals as they break down with exposure to sunlight and rain.

“You’ve got a chemical cocktail in these tires that no one really understands and is kept highly confidential by the tire manufacturers,” said Nick Molden, the CEO of Emissions Analytics. “We struggle to think of another consumer product that is so prevalent in the world, and used by virtually everyone, where there is so little known of what is in them.”

“We have known that tires contribute significantly to environmental pollution, but only recently have we begun to uncover the extent of that,” said Cassandra Johannessen, a researcher at Montreal’s Concordia University who is quantifying levels of tire chemicals in urban watersheds and studying how they transform in the environment. The discovery of 6PPD-q has surprised a lot of researchers, she said, because they have learned that “it’s one of the most toxic substances known, and it seems to be everywhere in the world.”

Regulators are playing catch up. In Europe, a standard to be implemented in 2025, known as Euro 7, will regulate not only tailpipe emissions but also emissions from tires and brakes. The California Environmental Protection Agency has passed a rule requiring tire makers to declare an alternative to 6PPD-q by 2024.

(A worker takes apart a tire at a recycling shop in Mit al-Harun, Egypt.)

Tire companies are conducting their own studies of 6PPD, which they have long considered critical for tire safety, and seeking alternatives. In response to new regulations and the emerging research on tire emissions, 10 of the world’s large tire manufacturers have formed the Tire Industry Project to “develop a holistic approach to better understand and promote action on the mitigation” of tire pollution, according to a statement by the project. The group has committed to search for ways to redesign tires to reduce or eliminate emissions.

One critical area of research is how long tire waste, and its breakdown products, persist in the environment. “A five-micron piece of rubber shears off the tire and settles on the soil and sits there a while,” said Molden. “What, over time, is the release of those chemicals, how quickly do they make their way into the water, and are they diluted? At the system level, how big of a problem is this? It is the single biggest knowledge gap.”

Another area of research centers on the impacts of aromatic hydrocarbons — including benzene and naphthalene — off-gassed by synthetic rubber or emitted when discarded tires are burned in incinerators for energy recovery. Even at low concentrations, these compounds are toxic to humans. They also react with sunlight to form ozone, or ground-level smog, which causes respiratory harm. “We have shown that the amount of off-gassing volatile organic compounds is 100 times greater than that coming out of a modern tailpipe,” said Molden. “This is from the tire just sitting there.”

When tires reach their end of life, they’re either sent to landfills, incinerated, burned in an energy-intensive process called pyrolysis, or shredded and repurposed for use in artificial turf or in playgrounds or for other surfaces. But as concern about tire pollutants grows, so do concerns about these recycled products and the hydrocarbons they may off-gas. There is ongoing debate over whether crumb rubber, made from tire scraps, poses a health threat when used to fill gaps in artificial turf. Based on several peer-reviewed studies, the European Union is instituting stricter limits on the use of this material. Other studies, however, have shown no health impact.

Besides California’s requirement to study alternatives to 6PPD, there are a number of efforts worldwide to redesign tires to counter the problems they pose. More than a decade ago, tire makers hoped that dandelions, which produce a form of rubber, and soy oil could provide a steady and sustainable supply of rubber. But tires made from those alternatives didn’t live up to expectations: they still required additives. The Continental Tire Company, based in Hanover, Germany, markets a bicycle tire made of dandelion roots. Tested by Emission Analytics, it emitted 25 percent fewer carcinogenic aromatics than conventionally made bike tires, but the plant-powered tire still contained ingredients of concern.

(Rubber made from dandelions.)

Other companies are searching for ways to address the problem of tire emissions. The Tyre Collective, a clean-tech startup based in the U.K., has developed an electrostatic plate that affixes to each of a car’s tires: The plates remove up to 60 percent of particles emitted by both tires and brakes, storing them in a cartridge attached to the device. The particles can be reused in numerous other applications, including in new tires.

In San Francisco, scientists studying the pollutants in storm runoff found a potential solution: Rain gardens, installed in yards to capture stormwater, were also trapping 96 percent of street litter and 100 percent of black rubbery fragments. In Vancouver, B.C. researchers found that rain gardens could prevent more than 90 percent of 6PPD-q from running off roads and entering salmon-bearing streams.

Tire waste particles, says Molden, of Emissions Analytics, are finally getting the attention they deserve, thanks in part to California’s rule requiring a search for alternatives to 6PPD. The legislation “is groundbreaking,” he says, “because it puts the chemical composition [of tires] on the regulatory agenda.” For the first time, he adds, “Tire manufacturers are being exposed to the same regulatory scrutiny that car manufacturers have been for 50 years.”

[kammartinez]

By Luis Alberto Urrea

I was born in Tijuana and spent much of my boyhood in a neighborhood — “colonia,” in TJ-speak — called Independencia. There was an ersatz European-style castle at one end of our street, a tamed bear living at the bottom of the hill, a madman next door who regularly got drunk and shot his pistola at the moon, and a yard with bananas and a tall old pomegranate tree. Sounds tropical. Sounds like Gabriel García Márquez. Doesn’t sound on the surface like the deadly desert, like the frightening shadow land of crooked policías and narco hit men.

The borderlands are the most interesting book in the world, being rewritten every day. Currently, I can attest that much of that contested region, from coast to coast, is alive with tourists seeking good food and cheap medical care, a developing street scene of boutiques and gourmet eateries, baristas and art galleries, vivid music and literary movements, ballet companies and symphonic concerts and, in my hometown, the best street tacos on earth.

The Mexican cultural journalist Jaime Cháidez Bonilla recently wrote this on Twitter (I’ve translated from his Spanish): “I like it when evening falls over Tijuana, a poetic act. A city so defamed, a city so generous.” I dare say most people don’t think of any border city, on either side of the wall, as generous. I have been fortunate enough to write about Tijuana and the border for many years, and of course I have read a library’s worth of other authors wrestling with the region. My favorite border pop song is by Nortec Collective (more on them below), and it’s called “Tijuana Makes Me Happy.” Yeah — the border makes me happy. A tip: Expect the unexpected.

I need to pause here in recognition that immigration is the relentless theme of this area and this era. But I do not believe that immigration stories are a subset of the literature of the borderlands: Though there is some cross-pollination, I believe immigration literature is a genre of its own, deserving of its own spotlight. I do not include it here.

What books and authors should I take with me?

One grand feature of border culture is the lure of a bargain. For decades, the clarion call of cheap muffler (“mofle”) shops drew tourists south; now, it’s cheap dentures and Viagra. So let us offer a one-stop classic, the anthology “Puro Border: Dispatches, Snapshots and Graffiti From La Frontera.” Edited by Tijuana’s greatest literary son, Luis Humberto Crosthwaite, along with El Paso’s late, great Bobby Byrd and his son John William Byrd, this wild anthology covers the good, the bad and the ugly. Many of the greatest border thinkers and writers are contained within its covers: Charles Bowden, Leslie Marmon Silko, Sam Quinones, Juan Villoro and Doug Peacock (model for the infamous hero of Edward Abbey’s novel “The Monkey Wrench Gang”), among others. Funky, funny, literary, angry — it will show you things you may have wondered about and things you might not have imagined.

What writers or books will help me feel the spirit of this place?

Even if you do not read poetry, the borderlands require it. In a place both lush and austere, alien and homey, full of symphonies of languages and accents, smells and sounds, silence and raucous music, nothing can touch the experience of being there like poetry. It is not a coincidence that most of the writers on my list are also poets. They will transport you.

Ofelia Zepeda, a 1999 MacArthur fellow, is a Tohono O’odham poet of such elegant and exact rhetoric, such integrity of culture and vision, that you miss her quiet genius at your own risk. She gave the songs of the Tohono O’odham back to the land. Come to the chapels of her books “Ocean Power: Poems From the Desert” and “Where Clouds Are Formed.”

I highly recommend a book that gives me endless delight as a reader and endless inspiration as a writer: Harry Polkinhorn and Mark Weiss’s seminal anthology “Across the Line/Al Otro Lado.” It covers the broad and surprising corpus of Baja California’s poetry, from Indigenous chants to postmodern epics, and it includes works that reflect the flavored cross-genre/cross-cultural/cross-border adventures the writers foresee in the distance of this decade.

Arizona’s first poet laureate, Alberto Ríos, born in Nogales, Ariz., is a true writer of the borderlands. Though all of his poetry books are excellent, “A Small Story About the Sky” remains my favorite. However, of particular interest for this list is “Capirotada: A Nogales Memoir.”

No one is better positioned to affect this literature than Natalie Diaz, the director of the Center for Imagination in the Borderlands at Arizona State University. A winner of the Pulitzer Prize for poetry and a self-described “language activist,” Diaz is brilliant and powerful, and you need to read both “When My Brother Was an Aztec” and “Postcolonial Love Poem.”

Finally, the wizard, the curandero, the presidente: Juan Felipe Herrera. A former U.S. poet laureate and son of migrant farmworkers. My homeboy from Barrio Logan in San Diego. His selected poems in “Half of the World in Light” are a magical mystery tour, not only along the border but through the universe. Herrera is a kind of psychedelic drug and he will make you see visions. His voice is the distillation of all of our journeys.

What novels will transport me?

Borderlands authors are many. One of the best and most authentic is Denise Chávez. Her milieu is the often overlooked southern New Mexico and West Texas world of frontera families, and the tall tales that flourish there. She is the queen of the generation that surged in the 1980s and beyond — a strong feminist voice free of cant and bursting with delight. Her novel “Loving Pedro Infante” will begin your Chávez collection, and you won’t want to stop. Another groundbreaker is the poet and novelist Ana Castillo and her border classic “So Far From God.” Both of these writers tell the stories of women on the American side of the line in vivid color, in many tones and in both languages.

I also highly recommend anything by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. His “Aristotle and Dante” young adult novels are immensely popular, but I regard his poetry with helpless envy. Start with his story collection “Everything Begins and Ends at the Kentucky Club,” which won the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction, and his poetry collection “Elegies in Blue.”

What audiobook would make for good company while I walk around?

The oldest, most venerable literary tradition along the borderline is oral. I didn’t start out reading books: I sat at the feet of old women telling ghost stories and fanciful family histories (and recounting dyspeptic gossip about other relatives). They were my first lit professors.

In my opinion, rather than audiobooks, you should listen to the music of the border, because it will be easier to absorb and you can dance to it. Every song is a novel or a book of poems, because the borderlands don’t talk: They sing. Music transcends and leaps over border walls like wild doves. Two of the best musical portraitists of this world are Lila Downs and Nortec Collective. Downs’s “The Border” is an elegant and lively album that paints indelible portraits with depth and wit. And her album “Shake Away” is a wild ride through the sounds and tales that we will never see on a tour bus or a beach holiday. (Suggested track: “Minimum Wage.”) For dance lovers and electronica fans, the Nortec Collective duo has created a hybrid of techno music that absorbs and transforms traditional instrumentation and themes into a rollicking dance music of joy and, yes, generosity. There are few bands that spawn a huge cultural and literary movement, but Nortec has opened gates for creativity in literature, theater, dance and visual art throughout the region and across the world that are constantly bearing fruit.

I must also recommend Los Lobos from Los Angeles, Calexico from Tucson, Ariz., and two wildly rollicking bands from Monterrey, Mexico: El Gran Silencio and Jumbo.

Anything I should add to my bookshelf?

For literate thrills and occasional chills, turn to Rubén Degollado (“The Family Izquierdo” and “Throw”). A splendid collection by Oscar Cásares, “Brownsville,” gives the inside scoop on a place in Texas that you may not think of without an author’s guidance. And Sergio Troncoso is such a beloved writer of the borderlands, there is a public library branch named for him in El Paso. His “A Peculiar Kind of Immigrant’s Son” is simply brilliant.

Luis Alberto Urrea’s Borderland Reading List

“Puro Border: Dispatches, Snapshots and Graffiti From La Frontera,” edited by Luis Humberto Crosthwaite, Bobby Byrd and John William Byrd

“Ocean Power: Poems From the Desert” and “Where Clouds Are Formed,” Ofelia Zepeda

“Across the Line/Al Otro Lado,” edited by Harry Polkinhorn and Mark Weiss

“A Small Story About the Sky” and “Capirotada: A Nogales Memoir,” Alberto Ríos

“When My Brother Was an Aztec” and “Postcolonial Love Poem,” Natalie Diaz

“Half of the World in Light,” Juan Felipe Herrera

“Loving Pedro Infante,” Denise Chávez

“So Far From God,” Ana Castillo

“Everything Begins and Ends at the Kentucky Club” and “Elegies in Blue,” Benjamin Alire Sáenz

“The Family Izquierdo” and “Throw,” Rubén Degollado

“Brownsville,” Oscar Cásares

“A Peculiar Kind of Immigrant’s Son,” Sergio Troncoso

[misc-fandoms-ballad]

Y’all I’m LOSING MY MIND

okay so I’ve been watching the last dungeon boonies lately and I met Mr. Threonine recently. Which made me chuckle since Threonine is a type of amino acid, and I’m nerdy so I found it fun. But then I started thinking and now my brain has ceased to function

You guys, pretty much every single character in dungeon boonies has a medicine related name

And because I’m me and my mind is breaking I need to inflict this all on you now. Please enjoy this list of each medical related name and how they’re related to medicine

Lloyd Belladonna -> Belladonna, also known as deadly nightshade, is a toxic plant from which a number of medicines can be derived

Marie Azami -> Marie could potentially be a reference to Marie Curie

Riho Flavin -> Riboflavin, or Vitamin B2. Flavins more generally are organic compounds present in many different forms in biology

Selen Hemein -> Hemin is a biological compound known as a porphyrin that contains iron and chloride. Selen could be short for “selenium”, which is a type of mineral. A quick google search shows that hemin may have some effect on selenium

Allan Toin Lidocaine -> Lidocaine is a type of local anesthetic. Allantoin is a compound produced from uric acid and can be used as a treatment for some skin problems. As it turns out, there’s a number of medicines in which lidocaine and allantoin are combined into one ointment/gel/etc.

Alka -> I believe this may be derived from alkaline

Micona Zol -> there is. Quite literally. A medicine called miconazole. It’s used to treat fungal infections

Choline Sterase -> Cholinesterase is an enzyme that breaks down the neurotransmitter acetylcholine

Chrome Molybdenum -> THIS IS. STRAIGHT UP. A TYPE OF STEEL ALLOY — “Chrome molybdenum”. Molybdenum is also a type of mineral that is necessary for the human body

Mena Quinone -> Quinone is a type of biological compound that exists in many different forms in many different organisms. Menaquinone is a type of quinone often used for electron transfer in bacteria, and is also a form of Vitamin K — specifically, K2

Phyllo Quinone -> Phylloquinone is one form of Vitamin K — specifically K1.

Rol Calcife -> Calcife, Rol: Calciferol is Vitamin D2.

Coba Lamin -> Cobalamin is also known as Vitamin B12

Threonine Lidocaine -> Threonine is an amino acid necessary to make many proteins. Lidocaine, again, is an anesthetic

[dreadfutures]

this will mean nothing to anyone here at all but today i spent three hours going through easyspin EPR fits with someone I consider to be an absolute leading expert in it and a) got validation that my systems are so complex that they might not be able to be fit with one spin system, and b) i have a pretty good understanding of EPR actually, which is something that I’ve thought i didn’t have.

i finally have a (deeper) understanding of where the idea of fine vs hyperfine vs superhyperfine perturbation vocab come from and why it’s not useful to describe the kinds of systems i work with, and like what kind of information i can actually get out of the spectra I have and whether or not they’re useful to my manuscript (no) or my thesis (yes), and i have a plan forward

anyway it was super nice and I wish any of my grad school friends actually worked because most of them just...don’t. it’s actually super sad and frankly shameful how most of my peers have lost any passion for their science and avoid going deeper than the most surface level... It’s really frustrating. Every time I try and have a deeper conversation with them about what they work on they brush me off with “you wouldn’t understand, you do different stuff”

except I don’t. I really don’t. And if they bothered talking about it, they’d realize that actually the point of our phds has been to develop this kind of applicable expertise.

Like.

my friend has had a whole thesis on quinones and co2 binding with quinones. I LITERALLY WORK WITH QUINONES. my whole phd has been this!! and when I finally was invited to a presentation she gave, and she was talking about the Big Problems that still plague her, I was like “oh, it’s this and this. I deal with that constantly but it’s actually pretty well understood if you bothered to look.”

But they don’t. and idk why* and it’s frustrating.

I keep thinking I don’t like what I do but in reality I don’t like being siloed away like this with no one to talk to about it :(

* the answer is very cynically the fact that people can get away with not doing work in their PhDs, get handed a PhD because we’re impossible to fire and the only way to get rid of us is to graduate us out. so everyone has learned they can coast, and act superior and enjoy Being A PhD Candidate and the Plebs will think we’re sooo smart and hard working, but... as long as you avoid other PhDs no one will ever know that you’re actually falling down on the job.

Like. C’mon. I study proton coupled electron transfer and use electrochemistry constantly. I do DFT and modeling and spectroscopy and everything myself. When I see the CVs and NMR data this group is putting up about their quinone systems, they make perfect sense to me and tbh I think it’s pretty shameful that the group known for carbon capture, PCET, and electrochemistry, doesn’t understand quinones.

anyway today was very validating and I have a lot of work to do but it’s kind of exciting to think about, I just wish I had people who could keep up with me to talk with about it.

[beardedmrbean]

HOUSTON – During a bond reduction hearing on Tuesday for the suspect accused of killing Migos rapper Takeoff, a judge decided to keep Patrick Clark’s bond at $1 million.

On Tuesday, Clark’s attorney, Letitia Quinones, said she was “optimistic” that her client’s bond would be reduced to $300k, but on Wednesday, a judge said he decided not to lower Clark’s bond because he fears he may be a flight risk since he had his passport on him at the time of his arrest. The judge is leaving the decision open for the defense to appeal.

“Although we respect Judge Hill as well as his decision today, we disagree with it. And to be honest, we are very surprised by it,” Quinones said during a news conference Wednesday after the bond hearing.

Prosecutors also opposed the state’s request for a lower bond, questioning Clark’s assets. While Clark and his family claim the DJ by trade does not make a salary that could support a high bond, photos obtained by the DA’s office from Clark’s based Instagram account tell a very different story. Clark is seen with stacks of cash, and also had a large amount of cash on him the day he was arrested. At that time, he also had an itinerary for Mexico in his possession.

Despite the judge’s concerns, Quinones said the judge previously laid out a list of requirements in order for Clark’s bond to be lowered, which the attorney said she and her client followed.

The judge reportedly asked Quinones to find a bail bonding company that would do immediate notifications of any GPS violations, a fee affidavit that Clark filled out to assess his financial situation and his passport.

“We complied with every requirement that the judge asked of us, only to be told today that it will not be lowered. So yes, we are very disappointed, we disagree and we are surprised,” Quinones said.

Clark has been charged with murder in the death of Takeoff, who was one-third of the famed Atlanta music group, alongside Offset and Quavo, who is Takeoff’s uncle.

The uncle and nephew were attending a birthday party in Houston on Nov. 1 when a hail of gunfire erupted outside a downtown Houston bowling alley. Takeoff, whose real name was Kirsnick Kari Ball, was fatally struck. He was 28 years old.

A monthlong investigation led to Clark being fingered as the triggerman.

Clark’s initial bond was set at $2,000,000 but his legal team argued that amount was excessive. They filed a motion on Dec. 13 asking for the bond to be reduced to $100,000. While that request was declined, the new bond was reduced to $1,000,000.

[mitolynreviewsbuy]

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[lasororiteinfernale]

The NPCs.

✥

CLAN-QUEEN ACCORA HYWELLER, {44}

✥

Accora, the Hyweller Matriarch, leads the most powerful Clan in all of Awyrfang, and by that fact, she is the leader of the entire Kingdom. Of the Four Kingdoms, Accora has been the least giving when it comes to the Academy, for she sees very little use for such an establishment. Her people- Wolfen- are bellicose people- always have been. It's the only way they've managed to protect what they have- otherwise, Wolfen-kind would be extinct. An Academy that teaches Peace? Silly, useless, a waste of resources in Accora's opinion. Despite her true feelings, she won't be stopping her young people from attending. After all, it will be nice to have some feet on the ground in Rhosynmora if this thing falls apart like she truly believes it will.

Looks: Brandi Quinones

HIGH PRINCE PARRIS HYWELLER, {50}

✥

Despite being married to the Queen of Awyrfang, Parris Hyweller is little more than a soldier- high-ranking among the other Wolfen of his Clan, of course, but still just a soldier. He does his best to carry out Accora's wishes and protect his family and Kingdom at all costs.

Looks: Javier Bardem

LORD-KING ANMER MIDDEN-HEL, {30}

✥

Anmer Midden-Hel is the seventh Midden-Hel King of Brandelbellan and his rule is now entering it's seventh year. Like every Midden-Hel King since the first, Anmer is part Bog-Devil and thus bears a good deal of bog vegetation on his person and visage. He tends to wear a partial mask to obscure the greenery of his face, revealing only his singular Mortal eye. For now, the establishment of the Academy is the least of Amner's worries as he's under great pressure by his Court to choose a Queen. He does have his dark eye on one or two maidens, but in all honesty, Anmer's not in much of a hurry to make such an important decision.

Looks: ? horned & mixed with bog vegetation

QUEEN HAIM ENELLOR, {39}

✥

Wizardess Haim Enellor finds herself the sole ruler of Glamorgane following the sudden death of her husband- the Last Enellor King. She has been something like a steward of the throne for two years now while the Royal Council takes great pains to carry out an investigation against her- to prove that she murdered the King. They keep meeting dead-ends, however, because Haim, a weilder of Magick, covered her tracks quite well. However, it's only a matter of time, as she appears to be slipping mentally- taking in strays and forcing them to play her dead sister, having lengthy conversations with herself, walking the battlements in her barefeet, falling asleep in strange placese about the palace. Eventually, she will slip-up and be executed for her crime. Until then, Haim is feigning no knowledge of the investigation against her- or else she truly forgot? And occupying her time with "resting" in her room, choked with sandalwood incense.

Looks: Kim Min-hee

KING WENTHLIAN FLORIMEL, {27}

✥

The Florimel King plays his part well. Wenthlian is known as a fair personality- generous and supportive when it comes to his new Queen, Diamandis. He seems very reserved to the outsider- calm and unflappable as marked by generations of Florimels before him. But there is something strange about Wenthlian. Diamandis cannot or will not see it. He seems, at all times, to be calculating and taking the measure of those around him. He leaves a great many (those who have met with him in person) with the feeling of unease. If only his thoughts could be heard- but then again, from the look in his eye when he becomes deeply lost in his thoughts, perhaps it's for the best that they remain unheard.

Looks: Evan Williams

QUEEN DIAMANDIS FLORIMEL, {25}

✥

Diamandis is anyone's idea of a Queen- gentle, giving, beloved, elegant and beautiful. More than that, she's a great mind and a steadfast Pacifist. Her strong anti-war sentiments led her to write a tome on how to achieve Peace throughout the continent, how to change one's thinking on the subject, to reject the notion of bloodshed as inevitable. The book, called "The Book of Fair Thought" has been quite polarising, but with the support of her dear husband, she has been able to see the manifestation of her dream- an Academy dedicated to Peace. Diamandis has every hope that, through The Lillium Academy, she will be able to save many lives and spare many others from the trauma of war. Diamandis will be splitting her time between her royal duties and her role as the Headmistress of the Lillium Academy.

Looks: Elibeidy Dani

✥

PROFESSOR FORVELETH HARPHART

✥

Ethics

Looks: Javicia Leslie

PROFESSOR PRISCILLIEN DUNCH

✥

Oration & Communication

Looks: Jamie Campbell Bower

PROFESSOR LAELIUS WINGBOURNE

✥

Statecraft

Looks: Aldis Hodge

PROFESSOR NEDA AYLMER

✥

Cultures of the Kingdoms

Looks: Anna Brewster

PROFESSOR BRIDIGA SNELL

✥

Reasoning

Looks: Lotte Verbeek

[head-post]

Hurricane Oscar leaves at least six dead in Cuba

Six people have died in Cuba as a result of Hurricane Oscar, which hit the island on Sunday bringing winds and heavy rains and was downgraded to a tropical storm on Monday.

Cuba’s President Miguel Díaz-Canel Bermúdez wrote on X:

“There is an emergency situation in the municipalities of Imias and San Antonio del Sur. According to preliminary reports, six people have died in areas that have historically been arid.”

Mass blackouts across the Caribbean have sparked several small protests as the island prepares for a fourth night of mass blackouts and a stern government warns that any disturbances will be punished.

Several dozen people took part in protests in urban neighbourhoods such as Santos Suarez and downtown Havana. Some banged pots and pans in the streets, while others demonstrated from balconies.

Protesters, who said they had no water, littered at least one street with rubbish. Homemaker Mayde Quinones, 55, who cares for her mother-in-law, who is in her 80s, said:

“The country has completely halted. This hurts everyone, but the elderly most of all.”

Cuban Prime Minister Manuel Marrero Cruz has declared a “state of energy emergency” due to the ongoing blackouts in the country. He and the country’s president, Miguel Díaz-Canel Bermúdez, blamed the US for the energy crisis, saying sanctions and the blockade were limiting access to credit and spare parts for power plants.

As of Sunday evening, the capital Havana was completely plunged into darkness, with only some businesses, institutions, and homes running on their own localised fuel generators. The government cancelled classes in schools until Wednesday, citing the hurricane and the ongoing energy crisis. Officials said only essential services workers should go to work.

Read more HERE