#but not many people use as many words to do it as i do lol

[anamericangirl]

I always read the articles you fearmongers post, including this one, so I can know what actually happened and let everyone know you’re lying. So I’m pleased to go through it with you and help you understand it better :)

“Such as?”

Such as the fact that Texas abortion laws don’t ban miscarriage treatment and explicitly state that abortion is allowed in cases like this one and they leave that out because they want to blame it on the abortion laws.

“Although US abortion bans – which more than a dozen states have enacted in the two years since the supreme court overturned Roe v Wade – technically permit the procedure in medical emergencies, doctors across the country have said that the laws are worded so vaguely that they don’t know when they can legally intervene. Instead, many physicians say they have been forced to wait until a patient is on the brink of death – then attempt to pull them back.”

So poorly written legislation is delaying needed medical care and making what should be routine procedures more dangerous. “

No, poorly written legislation is not delaying needed medical care and making routine procedures more dangerous. The problem is either a lying media or stupid doctors who apparently can’t read or are lying to try and seize an opportunity to be activists are delaying needed medical care and making routine procedures more dangerous.

Claiming “doctors just can’t understand it 🤷‍♀️” doesn’t explain how the legislation is at fault especially since the journalist was able to understand abortion is allowed in medical emergencies. So if a journalist understands that but the doctor doesn’t that hardly seems like the fault of legislation.

I don’t think any of the doctors have actually read the abortion law in Texas and I know you haven’t. So let’s look at the applicable part of the legislation Section 170A.002

(a) A person may not knowingly perform, induce, or attempt an abortion.

(b) The prohibition under Subsection (a) does not apply if:

(1) the person performing, inducing, or attempting the abortion is a licensed physician;

(2) in the exercise of reasonable medical judgment, the pregnant female on whom the abortion is performed, induced, or attempted has a life-threatening physical condition aggravated by, caused by, or arising from a pregnancy that places the female at risk of death or poses a serious risk of substantial impairment of a major bodily function unless the abortion is performed or induced; and

(3) the person performs, induces, or attempts the abortion in a manner that, in the exercise of reasonable medical judgment, provides the best opportunity for the unborn child to survive unless, in the reasonable medical judgment, that manner would create:

(A) a greater risk of the pregnant female's death; or

(B) a serious risk of substantial impairment of a major bodily function of the pregnant female.

Any doctor who claims they can’t understand that if they, in their own medical judgment, determine the situation to be an emergency that they can perform an abortion and do not need permission would be saying they don’t know what “reasonable medical judgment” is and if that’s the case they are a dumbass doctor.

So you or the article are going to have to explain how this is too confusing for doctors to understand. What is poorly written about this legislation?

“So this VERY clearly is a law, as written, killing this woman. Like the only arguments here are if you don’t understand what’s going on.”

lol I’m glad you admitted the only arguments you have are if you don’t understand what’s going on because that’s clearly your issue. No one who reads the paragraphs you posted from the article would see how that is VERY clearly the fault of the law because the article was really vague about the law and they don’t even link to it so that people could see what they are talking about and they mention nothing specifically about what’s in the law. So it’s only VERY clearly the law if you just believe what you’re told and are too lazy to do any independent research. But thankfully I’ve posted the law for you so you can read it and see that the claims the article makes it about it aren’t true. Let’s go through the paragraphs you posted that you believe make it VERY clear that the problem is the law for some reason.

“Barnica went to the hospital with cramps when she was just over 17 weeks pregnant on 2 September 2021, the day after the Texas six-week abortion ban took effect, according to ProPublica.”

Ok so we’re clear there’s a six week abortion ban in Texas.

“Barnica’s cervix was dilated at nearly 9cm, a condition that left her vulnerable to fast-acting infections, ProPublica reported. Normally, in cases like Barnica’s doctors will offer medication to speed up labor or perform a procedure to empty the uterus”

Ok so now they see she is at risk of infection and the guardian lists two options that are usually done in this case.

1. Offering medication to speed up labor.

2. “Empty the uterus” (aka abortion)

“But Barnica’s fetus still had a heartbeat. And under the Texas ban, doctors could not intervene unless a “medical emergency” – a term that was not defined in the law – developed.”

And here’s where the dishonesty starts coming in. Under the Texas abortion ban, abortion is banned at six weeks unless there is a medical emergency. And the guardian claims the term was not defined in the law but as I have shown by posting the law itself it clearly states that what constitutes an emergency is up to the doctor assessing the situation. So if a doctor believes, using reasonable medical judgment, that the situation is an emergency abortion is permitted. Any doctor could have examined her, determined in their own judgment that it was an emergency and performed an abortion. And every doctor in Texas knows that.

Besides, even if doctors don’t know what “reasonable medical judgment” is (which in that case makes them bad doctors) and stupidly believed they didn’t have the authority to declare the abortion medically necessary this is all in reference to option 2: “emptying the uterus.”

We still have another treatment option.

Here’s the paragraph you’re leaving out between the one above and the one below.

About 40 hours after Barnica’s second arrival at the hospital, doctors stopped being able to detect a fetal heartbeat, according to the report. A doctor expedited her labor using medications and delivered Barnica’s fetus. But after she returned home, Barnica’s bleeding continued and worsened.

So Barnica has been treated at the hospital. Labor is induced and the baby is delivered. The baby has been removed from her uterus - just like would have happened in an abortion - and she is sent home where her condition gets worse.

“Within days, she was back at the hospital, where she died of sepsis involving “products of conception”, according to her autopsy report.”

Just in case you were wondering that means the baby killed her.”

No sweetie, that doesn’t mean the baby killed her. The baby is also a victim in this scenario.

“Multiple experts, including OB-GYNs and maternal fetal medicine specialists, told ProPublica that delaying Barnica’s care ran against the medical standard of care due to the risk of infection.

That bit means that medical experts knew what to do but werent allowed to.”

No dear that bit doesn’t mean medical experts knew what to do but weren’t allowed to. I know your reading comprehension is bad but my gosh you’re really taking some liberties here.

What that bit means is that there was a delay in her care that ran against the medical standard of care. That’s not a law issue, that’s a doctor issue. That doesn’t mean they weren’t allowed to treat her, it means they didn’t treat her fast enough. The word “delay” doesn’t mean “not allowed” it means “a period of time during which something is late or postponed.”

She was treated and they got the baby out of her but they should have done it earlier. They were allowed to do that the entire time but they waited too long. That’s what that bit means.

“So now that we have clearly shown that you projected your own sin of ignorance upon me. Let’s see if you had any other points to make.”

No you haven’t clearly shown that at all. What you have clearly shown, though, is that interpreting news articles is not your strong point.

“Article covered that... there was a heartbeat so no care could be provided due to the Abortion laws in Texas”

And I addressed that. If there’s a medical emergency or severe risk to the mother that restriction does not apply. You even quoted the part of the article that confirmed that and I posted the law for you to read. Read it over as many times as you need to until that important bit of information sticks. So in this situation there was no restriction based on the heartbeat.

“Baby had a heartbeat so their hands were tied. You either didnt read the article, dont understand what you are talking about, or dont care what is written and just pray your audience wont read it.”

Their hands weren’t tied and both you and the article failed miserably in attempting to prove that they were. And they did treat her so clearly their hands weren’t tied which you would know if you had read the article and had any reading comprehension whatsoever which you very obviously do not.

They induced labor and the got the baby out. That was the treatment. But later she developed sepsis and tragically died anyway and ALSO, because I’m SURE you don’t know this, ABORTION WOULD NOT HAVE PREVENTED WHAT HAPPENED HERE. Sepsis is also a risk with abortion. If doctors had performed an abortion and sent her home she likely still would have developed sepsis and still would have died.

Really she needed to remain under observance in the hospital so they could have monitored her condition instead of sending her home.

“Wait wait wait... did I not read the article or is the article lying? If these laws aren't preventing this necessary care then there should be a HUGE wave of malpractice lawsuits being taken out against these doctors who " committed malpractice when they saw an opportunity to be activists."

I think the article is lying and I think maybe you did it read it but you’re not good at understanding what you read.

I think there definitely are some malpractice lawsuits that need to happen but the article is lying here because they are blaming abortion laws for the fact that this woman died when as I’ve clearly shown abortion laws had nothing to do with specific case.

The woman was treated, the baby was removed from her uterus and she tragically developed sepsis later on, which would also very likely have occurred with an abortion so you and the article still have yet to say how the abortion laws prevented treatment in this specific case.

The doctors involved in this case haven’t even commented which means the whole article is largely speculation and you really should be ashamed of yourself for being so easy to fool.

I’ve already explained that the heartbeat restriction doesn’t apply so if you say that again you’re objectively wrong and make pro-aborts look even worse than they already do because you’re showing you guys can’t comprehend basic information.

So wait... your argument is that Doctors are sacrificing the lives of patients for political gains? That is a HUGE leap and requires more proof than you insinuating that it might be true. I could, with just as much likelihood, insinuate that you are suggesting such a thing in a completely baseless way because you want to hold on to your political views and win an argument despite facts. So please provide some sort of basis that makes your statement that political human sacrifice is happening in OB/GYN offices in (I think) 14 states across the nation.

No sweetie, my argument is not that doctors are sacrificing live of patients for political gains. My argument is that when the media writes these articles and spreads them around they are lying.

I’m saying the cases did NOT go down the way they reported and doctors are not standing around with their hands tied because of abortion laws you don’t understand. The women they claim died because of abortion bans actually don’t die because of the abortion ban and they die for different reasons.

What I’m saying if the articles were actually being truthful, it would mean doctors were committing malpractice for political gain. But I DON’T think that’s happening because the articles are NOT telling the truth.

Some doctors out there do for sure but the articles you share are mostly just disinformation intended to make people think abortion laws are responsible for deaths they’re not responsible for.

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - pt II

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc (Valerie) (i know first part is x reader... i'm sorry for changing to an oc but it makes more sense in a multipart series)

playlist, part I

DISCLAIMER!: this is fanfiction (note the word FICTION), this is not a true depiction of what i think paige is like, this is purely fiction for entertainment purposes

Warnings: toxic!paige, language, some sexual thoughts but no smut in this one (sorry guys), paige is an asshole fr

Wordcount: 4.9k (sorry)

A/N: i got so much love and so many people asking for more after the first part <3 ty all i'm so grateful! this will likely be around 7 parts so please buckle up lol. ALSO I'M SORRY FOR NO SMUT but let me cook guys it'll get good. the point of this part is to get inside paige's head and understand why she is the way she is, things will speed up in the next part i swear. OK GO READ ILYSM MWAH

-

It’s hard being Paige Bueckers. Not every 23-year-old had to deal with the kind of pressure I did. Most of the time it felt like the whole world was watching me, waiting for me to fail. It used to bother the shit out of me but after all the injuries, everything I’ve been through, I thrived on it. I knew I would prove them wrong - prove that I’m great, that I’m me. Just like my dad would tell me, over and over again. I knew I was great, so greatness was expected. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t come with a great deal of pressure. I always said pressure is a privilege. But sometimes when I lay in bed alone after a game, even a win, the pressure consumed me. I didn’t like to be alone. So I went around different girls’ beds, like they meant nothing. Because they didn’t - they were just a distraction from my own mind. Like I said, it’s hard being Paige Bueckers - hard being me.

“You okay babe?”

I’m shaken out of my thoughts, returning back to earth, back to the small bed I was lying in. The brunette next to me nuzzles her nose into my arm, watching me with that look I knew too well. Like she wanted something from me. I hated when girls looked at me like that.

I clear my throat, trying not to flinch as she wraps her arm around me. “Yeah Zoe, ‘m fine,” I murmur, letting her press herself to my side, her body sticky from our prior activities. Zoe was a cuddler, so she was usually last on my roster. It’s hard to plan your escape when a girl clings to you like a koala and worst of all, wants to sleep like that all night. I never got that, cuddling while sleeping. It gets hot, sweaty and cramped, I find it hard to believe anyone actually enjoys it. People just think they do because they’re in love or something. And I can’t afford to be in love. I had a natty to win.

Zoe’s slender finger brushes through my blonde hair and I can feel that claustrophobic, uncomfortable tightness inside me. Like I had to get out. Her dorm was dim and the air was heavy and slightly humid from the second round I had insisted on. The sheets stuck to my skin uncomfortably and her bed made this annoying sound everytime I moved or even breathed.

I turn my gaze to Zoe who’s looking at me, all googly eyed. Oh God. She smiles wide and presses a kiss to my cheek. The scent of her shampoo lingers in the air, the smell of banana and some kind of citrus. I had never liked banana scented things.

“Uh, anyway that was fun,” I mumble, and sit up on the bed, forcing her off me as gently as I could. “But I got practice early,” I add, reaching for my t-shirt and throwing it on.

I don’t notice the offended look on Zoe’s face. I grab my phone from the floor, checking my texts urgently.

Yo you tryna do a lil sum tonight?

I know ur not workin sooo we could have a lil fun like we did the other day

Valerie?

I sigh, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten as I stare at the read receipt underneath the texts. I tap on the back of my phone case impatiently, wondering if sending a fourth text would make me pathetic. Maybe I should just call her? Nah, I must be trippin.

Since I met her at Ted’s, Valerie was the first I called when being in my bed alone was tearing up my mind. But it didn’t mean anything, she was good in bed, good at making me forget who I was when I needed to. Also, I liked how she smelled, like coconut. And when she tangled her legs with mine I didn’t shutter or pull away. Sometimes I even wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into me. Not because I needed her. But because her body felt good against mine.

“Aw baby really?” Zoe whines in an overtly soft voice, wrapping the blanket around her as she scoots up on the bed. Her plump bottom lip, swollen from the rough kissing earlier turns into a pout. I quickly avoid her gaze, my eyes landing right onto the floor looking for my pants. “I wanted to cuddle.” Figures.

“I know baby, me too,” a lie, she would never know that though. “Can’t keep my hands off you if I stay tho and I need some sleep.” I lie more, never looking at her. She buys it though, like she does every time. It’s not like I liked to lie, but I also didn’t like disappointing people. Especially girls that looked at me like that. It would kill her to know I texted three girls after Valerie didn’t answer, and the only reason I was here was because Zoe was the fastest to reply..

I leave Zoe like that, naked in bed, pleading with her eyes. Sometimes I felt bad, because I could tell she really liked me. But then I remembered how hard it is to be Paige Bueckers, and I didn’t feel so bad. My job was to be great on the court. Everything else was just background noise.

-

I sit by the court, my chest heaving, throwing my head back to down some water. The squeaking of sneakers echo all around me, blending in with the sound of Geno’s voice screaming at some of the girls working on plays. Coach had been killing us today, not happy with how the last game had went. We had still won, but that was merely a reason to celebrate in his eyes. 

All day I’d been missing shots that should’ve been child’s play for me. I couldn’t help but beat myself up. I was distracted, unfocused. I had been killing myself on the court, hoping it would bring me to my senses. Geno had been the one to tap me on the shoulder and force me to take a break I wipe the sweat off my face into the inside of my shirt, and grab my phone.

Bro are u alive?

I’m gettin worried lowkey

i’m fine paige

Five days. For five days Valerie hadn’t texted me back anything but that. I clench my jaw in frustration, shaking my head to myself. It made no sense to me - yeah we had a falling out but that’s what we did. We bickered and then we kissed and made up, and that’s what we had been doing for months so why was she acting like this now? Well… maybe calling her a psycho bitch last week hadn’t been the best move on my part.

I don’t know why the things she did bothered me so much. When she didn’t laugh at my joke, when she didn’t answer my texts. I don’t know why I felt a constant nervousness swirl inside me when she was mad at me, I had no reason to care. I guess the pussy was just that good, it was tricking me into thinking I did.

“Va-le-r- oh that’s the girl from Ted’s!” KK slams her hands on my shoulders, coming up from behind me, peeping at my phone screen. In a panic, I lock my phone, hiding it from her view.

“Bro, you heard of privacy?” I complain, shoving her playfully as she sits next to me on the ground. KK snickers, her nose scrunching a little as she does. 

“Not since you started peeing with the door open,” the shorter girl next to me argues and I scoff loudly, my mouth wide open.

“One time! And I was drunk!!” I groan, my voice rising a little and eyes going wide. CD quickly turns around and shushes us, shaking her head. Me and KK quickly shut our mouths, my cheeks turning a little red from the scolding.

KK looks at me with raised brows, and then at the phone, and then at me again. Most of the team knew how I kept myself busy when I wasn’t training, but KK was the one who had joined me those countless times at Ted’s and sat with me at the corner table as I watched her. Valerie. There was something so intriguing about her I just had to keep coming back. I always thought once I’d get her to my bed and have my way with her, I’d be done with her, which is how it usually goes. Before I realised that one time turned into five, which turned into me being in her bed getting her right, not even caring about my own most of the time. Getting her off got me off. Just thinking about the way she looked when she came, the way her back arched, her perfect mouth fell open - I really had to stop thinking about her. Why was it so goddamn hard?

It won’t be hard to find another Valerie if she’s gonna keep this difficult act up.

“Girl trouble?” KK asks, her tone more genuine and I roll my eyes, looking at her sideways.

“Yea right,” I chuckle sarcastically, leaning my elbows to my knees. “Just need to find a new one is all.”

KK lets out a small laugh, sipping her water bottle. “The five you got not enough?” She jokes.

I smirk a little glancing at her. “Four,” I correct, as if that made it better somehow. “Just need someone… new,” I mumble, knowing it was the best bet to get my mind off Valerie. I’m sure eventually I’d find someone who was just as hot. Someone who also smelled like coconut.

“Then what do I say to Zoe.”

“Wh- Zoe?” 

KK nods and grins at me. “She texted me asking about your shoe size or sum, wanted to get a gift for you.”

“She- she what?” My voice is full of shock and I can feel the claustrophobic tightness quickly grow inside me. I had never given her KK’s number. She was doing too much. KK just nods, clearly finding the situation amusing.

“Bro…” I groan quietly, as to not piss off CD again, and lean my head forward, resting my forehead against my arms. Zoe clearly hadn’t understood what “just fucking around” meant. Sometimes shit slipped out of my mouth, sure, but I never let her think I liked her. I had to be careful with her.

KK kisses the her teeth and is still nodding. “Yeah… probably time to let her go huh?”

“That bitch is crazy I swear,” I murmur and KK laughs out loud again. I punch her arm, reminding her to keep quiet - an impossible task for KK. Before I can stop myself, the words just slip from my mouth.

“Ted’s tonight?” 

KK looks at me pointedly. “Valerie workin’?” she teases but I shake my head sternly.

“No man, fuck Valerie.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth. “Just need to find a new one, k?”

“You sure you’re not just gon’ ogle at her all ni-”

“KK.” I say sternly

KK nods. “Ok,” she repeats but I can tell from her tone she doesn’t buy it. She shuts up though knowing she could tease me about anything but anything about Valerie got under my skin. Truth was Valerie was working today. I just needed to see her just for a second. Just to know if I was overthinking it, or if she was really icing me out.

-

The Friday night had brought many other students to Ted’s as well, the bar pretty packed and the chatter loud over the music. KK had convinced Ice to join us so the three of us made our way in. The best thing about crowds was it made it easy to blend in, even for us. We push our way through to the bar, my eyes immediately searching for a glimpse of Valerie’s golden brown hair or her wide eyes. All I needed was to see her, I told myself. Even for a second. Then the twist in my stomach would straighten out.

“What can I get you?” The perky voice of the redhead asks over the buzzing crowd. I think her name was Natalie or something. Ice looks over the flyers on the bar, advertising a range of new drinks.

“Let’s try some of these,” Ice suggests and I grab the flyer from her hand. I didn’t really come here to drink so I couldn’t have cared less what we ordered. Especially now I realised Valerie wasn’t even here.

“Uhh yea can we get three Aperol Negronis,”

“You won’t like it,” a stern, but sweet voice interrupts the conversation. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

Valerie steps out from the back, pinning her hair away from her face and for a moment our gazes meet. Her dark, wide eyes make me let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. For a moment I want to jump over the bar and touch her, to make sure she was really there and not just a mirage of my desires.

“W-why not?” I ask, my voice uncharacteristically shaky. Only with her I got like that. Suddenly my throat felt dry and the nervous twist in my stomach was turning into something you could only call butterflies. Of course I knew it couldn’t be butterflies, because that would mean I cared. I couldn’t afford to care. I didn’t have the time for distractions. I had a national championship to win.

Valerie scoffs looking away from me, ignoring me as I chase her gaze. “Because I know you won’t,” she says. The way she thought she knew me that well irked me. Still, I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t beaming at the fact that I had her attention after a week of trying to chase her down.

I can’t help the pout that forms in defiance. She’s still ignoring me, pouring drinks for a group of boys clearly ogling at her - which only irked me more.

“Well… I want three of them,” I say matter of factly, trying to prove a point.

“Whoa Paige, maybe we should just get a shirl-” Ice chuckles but I shake my head.

“Three Aperol Negronis,” I dictate. Valerie’s stern eyes finally look at me. She looks almost a little scary, not pleased with my tone. “... please.” I add urgently, not wanting to get on her bad side. I guess some would say I already had.

Wordlessly, Valerie rolls her wide eyes and gets to mixing the drinks. I allow my eyes to wander for a moment, noticing how the white shirt of the work uniform hugged her body, the curve of her breasts making my mouth water. Just seeing her was enough to ignite the fire deep in my abdomen. The things I would do to leave with her tonight and take her to my bed, like I had so many times before. I would even settle for just some kissing. Just wanted to let my hands wander down her body, squeeze and feel where I wanted, with no urgency. I needed to feel all of her, wanted to drown in her.

“By card orrr…?” Valerie asks, clearly waiting for the payment. My eyes had gone glassy, and my lower lip had a small dent from the way I’d been biting down on it. I blink stupidly at her, struggling to calm myself down.

“I got it,” KK murmurs and slides her card to Valerie. I grab my drink, and the smell is enough to make my face scrunch up in disgust. I swear it smells like battery acid, and as I take a sip I notice - it also tastes like battery acid. I swallow the orange liquor, it burns on its way down making me cough a little. Valerie was watching me amused. I hated when she was right.

“People actually drink this and like it??” Ice asks, her voice hoarse from coughing as well. KK nods agreeing but I’m too stubborn to admit defeat.

“I actually like it,” I lie with a straight face, my fingers twitching around the glass as I try to get over the bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

“Oh right,” Valerie says, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she turns to another group of customers. I can’t help reach over the bar, my hand grabbing her arm. She turns back to face me, icier than I had ever seen. It shocks me enough that I let go of her, taken aback.

“What?” she asks, her voice filled with annoyance.

“You seen my texts?” is all I ask, and it comes out a little too desperate for my liking.

“Yes,” Valerie says matter of factly. I wait for her to continue but she doesn’t.

“Uh… well thought we’d link up or something,” I add, shifting on my feet as I do.

Valerie sighs in frustration and takes a deep breath to compose herself.

“I’m good,” is all she says and flashes me an ice cold smile. I feel a strange pang in my heart. She had iced me out before, but not like this. Usually seeing her face to face was enough for her to forget our petty little arguments, enough to get her on me again. “I have work,” she adds before finally returning to serve the other customers.

I stand there for a moment, astonished. An uncomfortable ache that had been wavering in my chest was growing too intense for me to ignore anymore. Maybe it was all my fault after all. I had told her I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else and in the moment I had meant it. But then I remembered the stakes. Last year to win a national championship, last year to prove my greatness. I wasn’t going to mess it up just because of some girl. A relationship would be nothing more than a distraction, an unnecessary responsibility. I had enough on my plate. Valerie was selfish for wanting me all to herself. She didn’t understand what she was asking for. Maybe calling her a psycho bitch wasn’t so far off.

I feel someone bump into my back and turn around to find a girl, cheeks blushed and apologetic. I see her eyes widen in recognition - it was always that moment when I knew I could have this girl if I wanted. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m a little drunk,” the girl giggles and I offer her an easy smile. I consider taking this girl home, imagining the way I’d lure her into my bed, just a little bit of sweet talk and a smirk would be enough, a hand on her waist, thumb rubbing her skin and soon she’d get this look on her face like she had to have me. It would be so easy, and I wouldn’t have to think about Valerie at all.

But the pain in my chest doesn’t go away, even when I let my mind wander further, how this girl would look underneath me, whimpering while I fuck her. It did nothing to make the pain go away.

“‘S fine,” i murmur and decide to ignore the way she was blinking at me, biting her bottom lip. I grab my drink from the bar, and push past her, finding KK and Ice sitting at our usual table. They both look at me, but don’t ask where I’d been. They both knew better. I sip my drink, cursing to myself in my head about ordering it. With sheer stubbornness I finish it quickly, finding that easier than taking small sips. 

“You’re never picking what we drink again,” KK scoffs, copying me, her face scrunching involuntarily when she finishes her drink. But I barely register her words, as I lean back in the chair, head tilting back to watch Valerie.

She’s giggling with Natalie, throwing her head back in amusement. The chatter in the bar is deafening, but I swear I could hear her laugh in my head vividly. Like my brain had memorised each tone of her voice. There was something different about Valerie, she always shined the brightest in every room she was in. Even the dingy bar was lit up by her. She wasn’t even necessarily extremely lively. It was her mere presence that just made everything better. 

I noticed it the first time I ever saw her, early september. All she did was walk past me on campus, talking lively into her phone. It was her voice I had heard before even seeing what she looked like. Her voice had been enough to make me have to see her. Of course she hadn’t even looked my way, not even a glance. That was the moment I knew I had to have her.

“You enjoy it?” Valerie asks KK and Ice, fully ignoring me as she walks to our table to clean up. I watch the golden bracelet she always wore dangling on her wrist as she grabs the empty glasses. I lean back and tilt my head to look up at her, needy for her attention. Licking my lips I look her up and down, that usually worked enough to get her naked. But now, she didn’t even glance at me. Annoyance grew within me as she chatted with KK, laughing at her jokes.

It was then when my eyes moved from her lips to her neck that I saw it - a dark bruise underneath her ear, right on the spot where she liked to be kissed. I knew, because I had left many bruises there and gotten scolded for it. But this wasn’t mine. This was someone else’s.

“Okay well see ya around,” Valerie smiles and turns to take the glasses to the back. I feel the pang in my chest quickly flip, turning into anger. I was furious. Who did she think she was? Sleeping around with someone else, not answering my texts, letting someone else mark her like that. I felt my body turn hot, and without a word to KK and Ice I get up from my seat, nearly knocking it over as I take quick strides to reach Valerie, following her into the back, ignoring the STAFF ONLY sign on the door.

My steps are heavy and loud as I reach her, standing by the sink, handling the dirty glasses. I was shaking my head to myself, trying to control my anger. But it was getting the best of me.

“Staff only plea-” Valerie starts and turns to me, unable to miss the redness of my face, the clenched jaw and the way I was biting on the insides of my cheeks. “Paige?” she asks, furrowing her brows, confused.

The pounding in my head grows and I let out a scoff, not feeling in control of myself. My brain was moving faster than I could follow, I felt lightheaded. I felt furious. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask, my voice loud. I didn’t really care about being overheard.

“Huh?” Valerie asks, clearly bewildered, but already getting defensive in response to how I was acting.

“What, you don’t text me, call me or nothing? Because you’ve been too busy fucking some other bitch?” I yell, my hand pointing to her neck. Valerie’s eyes widen in realisation but quickly turn angry too. 

“I- WHAT?” She yells back and takes a step towards me.

“Don’t play dumb. So who is it?” I say sternly, grinning bitterly at her, my eyes looking down at her.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes shaking her head which only infuriates me more.

“I said. Who. Is. It?” I repeat, grabbing her arm. She pushes my hand off her, anger growing on her face as her brows furrowed further.

“How is it any of your business who I sleep with Paige?” She argues.

She had a point. We weren’t exclusive. Matter of fact it was pretty hypocritical of me to be so angry when I had a roster of girls on my phone, ready to answer my calls at any time of day. My anger had taken over though, and the little sense I had when it came to Valerie, was completely gone.

I throw my head back and chuckle bitterly, provoking her further. “See I knew you’re a lotta things but didn’t know you were a slut too,” I hiss, the words slipping out without much thought. I couldn’t think of anything but how furious I felt.

Valerie laughs loud, but it’s not the sweet laugh I was used to. It was a bitter, angry laugh.

“Me?! You’ve slept with every girl that swings your way on campus and even some that don’t! You’re the slut Paige!” she screams, her wide eyes burning with anger, her finger coming up to point at my face. It pissed me off, the way it was assigning blame, like all of this was my fault. Like it wasn’t she who slept with someone.

“I don’t owe you anything!” she declares, her voice revealing a hint of hurt, the way it cracked slightly. “I’m done with you. I’m serious Paige. Done,” she adds, her voice calmer, but more authoritative. “Now get out of my bar.”

My face was hot and red, my chest was heaving and my head spun. The hurt in her voice made me waver, made my chest ache more. I blink at her stupidly as she turns back to the dishes, already missing having her attention. I was fine with the yelling, the fighting, as long as it meant she was looking at me, or talking to me. But now she’s done with me? Fine, so was I. Wouldn’t take me longer than a day to find a new Valerie.

“Pshh whatever,” I murmur and storm out of the back, heading fast towards the exit. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt tight and I could taste the bitter Aperol on my tongue still. It made me nauseous,

I’m gasping for air once I feel the chilly breeze of february hitting my skin. The silence outside was overwhelming, forcing me to realise the rapid pace of my own thoughts. My mind was swirling with flashing images of Valerie, on top of someone, looking down at her like she did at me, the idea of her moaning someone else’s name made me sick.

“Fuck!” I shout, unable to control myself. A group of girls near me turn to look at me but return to their conversation when I sit myself down on the curb. What a standard I was setting for student athletes everywhere right now.

My eyes burn and before I notice, a tear rolls down my cheek. I bury my face into my hands and rub my jaw, my anger easing with each exhale. I didn’t know why I was crying, I didn’t understand any of this. I couldn’t believe the things I had said, the way I had acted. I was supposed to be disciplined, in control, but I felt so out of control when it came to Valerie.

“Paigey…” KK murmurs and suddenly I realise her and Ice are standing in front of me, looking down at me sympathetically. Embarrassed, I wipe the tears away and try to steady my breathing.

“Uhh sorry just gimme a sec guys,” I sigh looking at the ground. They sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me. I lean into Ice’s shoulder and I’m grateful how they don’t pry, or talk. We just sit there in silence for a while.

I take a deep sigh and lift my head back up, chewing on my bottom lip. I glance at both of the girls sitting next to me, grateful for the friends I had. At least I got one thing right.

“I dunno what just happened,” I sigh, shaking my head thinking back to my behaviour. The shame I felt made my cheeks turn a shade of red.

KK chuckles softly and ruffles my hair affectionately. “I do,” she mumbles.

I furrow my brows and turn to look at her. She looks back at me like whatever was about to come out of her mouth was obvious. KK and Ice glance at each other before KK opens her mouth to speak.

“Bro you have feelings for her.”

Oh?

Oh.

My mouth parts in realisation as I move my gaze from KK to the pavement. It’s just us now, sitting in silence, the sounds of passing cars and the muted sounds of the bar the only noise in the chilly evening.

“C’mon P boogers, let’s go home,” Ice says, standing up and reaching a hand down to lift me up. 

KK hops up and nods. “You need some Tru Fru,” she adds.

With a nod, I let them pull me up, following them to the car. I had feelings for Valerie. Shit. I'd just have to find a way to get over it - I couldn’t afford all this. Not right now. Not with the world watching, waiting for me to fail. Not with a national championship on the line.

-

taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @mandyvivic @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch @taylynbueckers44 @mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @tndaqlifwy @justliketoreadsowhat @oreo2sblog @sftlyortega @slvt4her

NEXT ONE WILL BE HOTTER I PROMISE

[qoldenskies]

HEHE <3 I’m glad you got the symbolism lol, it’s a bit of deviation from the base metaphor but the vision was too strong to not draw hfbfhhf.

forgor to mention, but will say this was drawn like immediately after you mentioned that Don thought they were leaving him to die during the close scene. I imagine Don’s need to know how long he’d spent there definitely stemmed at least partially from the fear and knowledge that with every second he spent there, the closer he was to a very, very painful dark and lonely death.

Also- irony! An aquatic turtle drowning in dry sand, mocked for its foolishness in coming up to land (even when it was once his habitat too)

YOU DREW THAT IN AN HOUR OR LESS?????? thats INSANEEEEEEE and im JEALOUS lmfao

also yes for sure!! four days is such a horrifyingly long time, he was starving and dehydrated and dizzy, especially because he'd hit his head several times. in CL he takes them at their word a lot (because why would they lie?) but he KNOWS the three hours thing was a lie. he KNEW. there's no way that could have been three hours--- at least, he clung to it as desperate hope that it would be true, because he doesn't trust himself fully enough to be one hundred percent on pretty much any judgement he makes on his own.

when he broke down crying when learning about it i cant really say it was relief, he was too overwhelmed to be relieved. it really put into perspective the reality of HOW cruel they were, knowing that he could have died. if he was a human person there's a very good chance he would have died. he thought he was GOING to die and he was so scared he was making up how awful it was in his head again. and he didn't eat for six days and didn't drink for four. it hurts to think about, and he can't help but wonder what would have happened had he not broken and screamed to be let out when they joked about leaving him behind.

[ghsface]

Not sure if you are taking request but can we get an angst with Matt where like reader and him are dating for years but recently comments have been getting to her or people have been following her home and eventually she decideds to break up with Matt but Matt takes things to in his hands where he’s tells ppl to stop and they get back together?(Lol sorry if it didn’t make sense but thank you)

𝜗𝜚 new messege .ᐟ.ᐟ

Hey gorgeous, I really liked this idea, I hope you like it too.

You are the only thing I want - Matt Sturniolo

Sumary: You and Matt had a secret relationship and when you decide to make it public everything goes wrong...

Warnings: angst hate messages towards reader, this is just angst with a happy ending

A/n: Leave me ideas to write in my inbox because I'm running out of ideas. I'm sorry if something is misspelled or not understood. My first language is not English. By the way, what do you think of my new theme, in my opinion, it's very cute like the baby pink and light brown. 🩷🧸

⛧°。 ⋆༺ ✮ ༻⋆。 °⛧

It had been exactly fourteen months since the first time you and Matt kissed. You hadn't imagined then how important he would become in your life, nor that being with him would be so complicated. Because, although you adored each other and the bond between you grew every day, that relationship had to be kept secret. It was a mutual decision, made for practical reasons. At first, the thrill of secrecy made everything more exciting. But now, you both felt exhausted.

You had spent too many nights talking secretly in the car, dates arranged down to the last detail so as not to be seen, or moments of solitude where, instead of shouting to the world how much you loved each other, you had to hide it like a forbidden secret. The situation was starting to weigh on you.

That night, you were on the couch at Matt's house. He was holding you, and your head was resting on his shoulder while you felt his fingers playing with the strands of your hair.

"Aren't you tired of this?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence.

You raised your head and looked at him, searching his eyes for what he really wanted to say.

"What are you talking about?"

"About having to hide… about not being able to tell anyone how amazing you are." Matt smiled, but his eyes reflected a sadness that you shared.

"Of course I'm tired. Sometimes I wish we could be a normal couple".

"Then let's do it", he suggested, giving your hand a squeeze. "Let's make it public. I don't care what others say. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it."

The idea made you feel butterflies in your stomach. The love you had for Matt was bigger than any fear, and the fact that he was willing to share your relationship with his fans made you feel special. You decided to announce it on social media.

When Matt uploaded the first photo of the two of you together, you felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. The image showed an intimate moment, a selfie of the two smiling on the beach, with the sunset in the background. The caption was simple but powerful: “Over a year together, and we’re just getting started.”

For the first few hours, the response was overwhelmingly positive. There were comments from fans congratulating and supporting them: “They look beautiful together,” “Finally someone makes Matt happy as he deserves,” “What a great couple they make!”

But over time, other types of messages began to appear. “Her? Is he really with her?”, “She’s not enough for him,” “She’s only with him for fame, I’m sure she’ll use him to become famous,” “Poor Matt, he deserves someone better.”

At first, you tried not to take them seriously. But every time you checked your phone, more of those comments appeared. There were people criticizing your appearance: “She’s too basic for someone like him,” “She’s not even pretty, how dare she date Matt?”, “Matt deserves someone more attractive.”

The words cut you deeply. You knew you shouldn’t let those comments affect you, but you couldn’t stop the doubts from starting to poison your mind. Every time you looked in the mirror, you started to see those flaws that others mentioned. Insecurity began to invade you in a way you hadn’t experienced before.

Matt tried to comfort you whenever he noticed you looking down. Sometimes, during the night, he would catch you reading the comments on your phone, and he would simply take the phone away from you and hold you, whispering that he loved you and that was all that mattered.

“You don’t need to listen to those people, babe,” he said, looking at you with a sincere expression. “They don’t know anything about you, they don’t know how amazing you are.”

The comments didn’t stop, though. Every day they became crueler and crueler. Rumors began to circulate suggesting that you were only with Matt to gain followers, or that you were using his fame to make yourself known. People commented on every aspect of your life, from how you dressed to how you looked without makeup. There were those who said things like, “It’s obvious that she dresses like that to get attention, can’t she dress up better?” or “She should thank Matt for giving her a chance, she’s just an ordinary girl.”

At some point, comments were no longer the only thing. People started following you home, taking photos of you without your permission, and even trying to get close to you to ask you invasive questions. You felt watched and judged at every turn, and little by little, you started to believe that you weren't enough, that maybe all those people were right.

The pressure began to be unbearable. Your self-esteem plummeted, and every time you looked in the mirror, you saw someone who, according to the world, wasn’t enough. Matt tried to cheer you up, to remind you how much he loved you, but you couldn’t stand it anymore.

One night, after one of your most difficult conversations, you asked him to meet you. Matt came over to your house, and as soon as you saw him, he knew something was wrong. He stared at you in silence as you searched for the words to say to him.

“Matt… I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered, your voice shaking.

“What are you saying?” he asked, frowning, clearly worried.

“I can’t be in this relationship anymore. The pressure, the comments… they’re tearing me apart. I can’t take it anymore.

Matt looked at you, unable to process what you were saying. He was trying to understand, but the pain in your eyes made it clear to him that you were really hurt.

“But… I love you, and I don’t care what other people think. They don’t understand what we have.”

“I know, Matt. I know you love me, but I can’t go on like this. I’m losing myself in all of this.” It's getting harder and harder to get up and pretend everything is okay.

You took a deep breath, trying to hold back your tears. “Matt… I can’t keep going like this. I can’t handle the pressure, the comments, the people following me everywhere. I feel like I’m losing myself, and I don’t want to drag you into this. I think… I think it’s best that we break up.”

The goodbye was hard and heartbreaking for both of us. In the days that followed, Matt stayed away from social media, not mentioning anything about what had happened. He isolated himself, trying to understand how the love of his life had to walk away because of the cruelty of others.

Weeks went by as you tried to get over the situation, even though you felt empty. However, one afternoon, while you were checking your social media, you noticed a post from Matt that surprised you.

It was a photo of you and him that Nick had taken, and the message was clear and direct: “I don't give a shit what others say about my girlfriend. I'm with her because I love her, and that's never going to change.”

Matt's public statement was not only a message to his fans, but a promise that he was willing to stand up for what they had. Feeling a torrent of emotions, you decided to call him. When he answered, his voice trembled with emotion.

"I can't go on without you" he said quietly, while you tried to hold back your tears.

"Me neither, Matt… I love you."

That night, they met again, and between tears and hugs, they knew that this time there would be nothing and no one that could separate.

⛧°。 ⋆༺ ✮ ༻⋆。 °⛧

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly, and feel free to leave a request ✮

⤷ Tags... @matthewsroses @sophand4n4 @strnilolover @lolastrniolo

[sevs-corner]

Yall what if— Tf 141: Actor AU!

WAHAHAHHAHAHA ANOTHER TIME BUT LIKE I’VE BEEN WATCHING THE ACTUAL ACTORS INTERVIEWS AND MAHN DO I WANNA MAKE A SLICE OF LIFE VERSION OR SMTH WHOLESOME FOR THE TF 141 GANG

Ok, brainrotting time go brrrrr

I can just imagine how Ghost and Soap are trying to make so many jokes during the “Alone” mission that it takes too long for the editing team to pick which one should make the cut so they decide to make a duck race of what they should put in

Gaz and Price actually doing the swimming mission and Gaz shrieking like a girly because a seaweed latched onto him- making cling onto Price who (unceremoniously) couldnt hold onto him and sunk

Graves trying so hard to be mean to Soap, but because the camera doesnt catch Soap face, he’s pouting and pulling the biggest dog eyes that it makes it impossible for Graves to be mean, making Ghost sigh and do it free of charge

You cannot tell me how Graves doesn’t make the funniest one liners while in the AC-130 (and even does the joke for fun too- and he also subsequently blames Smosh for the other plane jokes)

Ghost and Price makes the wackiest references in their dialogue with their duos that its impossible for them to not break character (assuming that they’ve been playing the OG games)

“Y’know I thought Soap would kill Shepherd.”

“Yeah nah mate, he died first.”

“SINCE WHEN???”

(Soap being so confused until he got the news and wailed)

Alejandro and Rudy would be the despicable duo of pranking people and inserting their own references in spanish, making the translation team snicker

The stunt coordinator would always sigh at how clumsy and clunky Soap and Gaz are (they’re new) but surprisingly Ghost too (but in this case he’s forgetful)

Like, he’d combat roll into a room instead of checking it with a flash band first— which the other actors take the opportunity to fake shoot him and Ghost acting along and dying

His final words always being directed to the dead Johnny of 2011 (which pisses off the current Johnny because both aren’t even DEAD)

Price is the captain in AND out of the set, asking for a coconut water but end up getting a coke and water from Simon

Farah and Alex are tied to the hip (they are BESTIES), and sometimes they get so used to being in character that the reflexive “yes ma’am” from Alex makes Farah laugh and act as if she was his boss

(Aka becomes the 2nd Price of the set)

Alex would also join into the shenanigans of Alejandro and Rudy (Graves would surprisingly join in sometimes, especially when it involves Soap) and dresses up as an extra to surprise ambush “the player” (aka pov of soap or gaz)

Making the set, a forever halloween jump-scare fiesta

(Anyways word vomit lol)

[rootspiral]

WANDAVISION DEEP DIVE part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4])

After managing to keep away from social media for almost two months, here comes Agatha All Along sucking me back in 🙃 I want to rewatch the whole thing and see how many details I can catch, but I guess I might as well go through Agatha's scenes in Wandavision first. and you guys are coming with me!! we can all hyperfixate together (spoilers from both WV and AAA below. this is going to be just a stream of consciousness as I go through scenes, don't expect anything elaborate)

SO.

Agatha arrives in Westview attracted by Wanda's Hex. She might already suspect she's dealing with the Scarlet Witch because lbr, who has that sort of power? She takes a calculated risk to come investigate (detective Agnes of Westview on the case!) It's funny that her calculated risks are always way more emotional than she'd admit, because who in their right mind comes after the SW? But all that power is too alluring, so Agatha takes possession of Ralph's house, ruins the market value adding a creepy basement and brainwashes him into being her husband/minion/pet.

And now it's time to do what she does best, con artist is gonna con! I adore that Agatha became one of the most infamous witches in history thanks mostly to her improv skills.

She's a magical gal is a small time locale!! he's a husband who's part machiiiiiine (great now it'll get stuck in my head again)

worth nothing that both witches and androids have historically and culturally been used as queer allegories, and here's a very sapphic witch pretending to be a straight 1950s housewife and another witch who's got an elaborate fantasy going on where her husband is able to pass and all their problems are sitcom-level fixable.

How to solve the Hex mystery according to Agatha Harkness:

step #1, casually fish for personal info

step #2, flirt with your suspect (obviously)

she literally asks if Wanda's single ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AGATHA

she's lying it on soooo thick

she dropped that pot so deliberately LMAOO stinky chaotic goblin

knowing she' s being an asshole on purpose makes this scene 100 times funnier tbh

(also a moment of silence for Sharon's irreparable trauma. her last words will be "Wanda, I'm begging you, let him breathe, please")

episode 2: Agatha keeps being a menace

And knowing now that she's always playing a part and her real personality is much more emo makes it easier to spot when she slips out of character

"was that too much? might rein it down a lil bit" (btw I'm still suspicious of Dennis the mailman and totally expect a big reveal in Westview season 3)

I'm betting that this was Agatha rather than Agnes too. she's so miserable lol. she hates playing this part so much. and that wig is hideous

not Agatha casually planting the idea of children in Wanda's head. She probably was the one making people chant "for the children" too. literally manipulating Wanda into showing her if she can create life, calculated risk my ass, she's out here playing with fire

(does that mean that Agatha is a liiiiiiitle bit Billy's and Tommy's parent too?? she planTED the sEED. hear me OUT.)

you know she was dead inside at having to sit through the whole talent show. she probably took it out on the contestants and made them trip onstage or something

Episode 3 of pappappa pappappa wandavision!

Agatha helping Wanda to pick baby clothes, I'm going to sob. (look at this technicolor filter! modern shows CAN color their shit! it's just that they'd rather make everything look like muddy ass instead)

not much from Agatha this episode except scheming to get Monica kicked out of the Hex, seeing as she's the biggest obstacle between herself and Wanda ('s powers). Also you know she was stalking the house to keep track of when the babies were born. Also also, the painted scenery! Like mother like son, it's such a big hint about the nature of the Road.

look at this piece of shit, I love her so much. And she does tend to wink when she's just told a truly egregious lie, doesn't she? it's like her little signature.

Agatha in episode 5 coming in like: LEMME SEE THOSE BABIESSSSSSS

kathryn hahn with 80s curls is doing something to me, let me tell you

so manipulative, in so many ways. and knowing what we know now about Agatha and children, imagine the turmoil inside of her!! triumph at having confirmation of Wanda's life-giving powers. nervousness about the mess she's putting herself in. exasperation at having to keep up the charade. and, most importantly, getting to HOLD A BABY BOY AFTER ALL THIS TIME (amazing, terrifying, traumatic, wonderful)

what is she doiiiing. this bitch, I swear.

OH MY GAWD I FORGOT WANDA SAID THIS. "so she keeps coming at me like a cat in heat, that's not her fault Vision, she has a Medical Condition"

"kids. can't control them. no matter how hard you try"??????? the suddenly wistful voice?????????????????????? why don't I fling myself off a cliff?????????????????? was this woman actually honestly dying inside while still having to play pretend, I can't, I cannot. And how much of Agatha's backstory was decided at this point, was Kathryn given a general idea?

Agatha and Billy, partners in crime already! Seriously, Jac Schaeffer must have had an idea of where this was going. And it's obvious in retrospect that Agatha would be drawn to Billy the most, he's a witch unlike Tommy and he's such a polite, sweet little fellow, he probably reminded her of Nicky so much?? Here's this scary dangerous witch who on one side is planning to murder everyone in the room, and on the other is fighting back the urge to go full mama bear on this kid and protect and cherish him forever. This is not what she signed up for when she decided to stalk Wanda!

She is so horrible. She is despicable. I'm allowed to say it because I love her so much! I can't remember, was it revealed that she turned a fly into a dog or something? Or did she kidnap a dog dog from a shelter / someone's garden and then stone cold killed him? No, wait, she made Ralph kill him. Do your own killing of cute innocent little creatures, you coward! Love that vest tho.

"Fix the dead!" "You can do that?" And of course she's pretending here but you know that's EXACTLY what this whole sordid Sparky affair was about, she's testing and prodding at Wanda's powers, trying to figure out her limits. There's an eagerness here that she doesn't need to fake. Who knows, maybe she was actually squeamish about killing the dog (she does have a cuddly bunny and woves him vewy much), hence why Ralph had to do it. But more importantly even if she didn't like killing a pet, even if she wasn't happy about traumatizing these kids - that's exactly what she's doing here, she's willingly hurting two children - she went and did it anyway, because her thirst for Wanda's powers is too big. She kills witches out of anger, out of fear and self-preservation. She is ultimately a selfish person, and that is what makes her a villain. It's not that she doesn't have feelings. She has plenty of feelings, she has a conscience, and she chooses to do the bad thing anyway.

"And we can't reverse death. No matter how sad it makes us. Okay? Some things are forever." These two shows above all else are about grief. You can peel this scene and find more and more layers, it was about the kids losing Sparky at first but also about Wanda losing Pietro, Wanda losing Vision, Wanda losing the kids. And it's also, DEFINITELY about Agatha losing Nicky. I need a drink.

Agatha discreetly wiping a tear in the background nbd

And I can only upload 30 pictures per post so there's going to be a part two. I was NOT planning to write so much, help. What are you doing to me AGATHA

go to part 2

[errruvande]

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you @thelettersfromnoone for the tag!! 💖

How many work do u have on AO3?

3, not your local AO3 girlie lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

8 534

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes

I'll go with Tumblr ones, cause from my 3 AO3 works the biggest number I got is 31 lmao

Anyone but you (Legolas x f!reader)

Night watch (Legolas x Reader)

Well-deserved rest (Haldir x f!Reader)

One messy night (Boromir x f!Reader)

Transition (Haldir x f!Reader)

Honorable mention (since it's not fics but headcanons)

Green Council receiving a hot pic from you (HotD)

TLK men's reaction on being pet named

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments! These little things are brightening up my day, so I wanna let the people know that they are my heroes hahaha

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I really think it's Transition. All in all it's a pretty dark story, a bit depressing I think (I had these intentions while writing at least).

Otherwise, I don't think I have angsty endings fics?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

New family members for sure!! Was thinking hard what to choose, cause I think all of my happy ending fics are on the pretty same level on a happy scale, but I remember that I have this gen, non romantic baby and I love it so much ❤️‍🩹 There's a little TLK OMC for y'all

Do you write crossovers?

I wanted to say I've never done this BUT THEN!!! My Assassin's Creed (Ezio) x LOTR little headcanon!!! My beloved child!!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not that I remember getting any hate on my fics

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, tho not much and on rare occasions. I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger (a teen), then I stopped being comfortable with it for a wild few years (tho reading never made me uncomfortable lmao).

Now I started writing smut again, idk what kind? Don't really understand what does that mean lol F x M traditional sex? Pretty detailed? If so, then yes lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know 😂 Maybe, maybe not. I think rather not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, I don't think so.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

We tried with my friend a long long time ago. Didn't go well lmao It's hard and kinda stressing, cause you never know what the other person is gonna write (at least we had this SURPRISE system), so... You kinda have zero plot cause everything you want to write plot-wise can be ruined by the second person's plot lmao

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Athelnar?? Athelstan and Ragnar were my first ever OTP (quickly followed by Alfred and Uhtred). You could never beat that Athelnar shit out of my body lmao I've never written for them, but oh I do love them boys!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Now, that's the HARSH one lmao

I think I have at least 3 OC stories that I really wanna write (2 for TLK and one for LOTR), but I'm scared that I will never actually do it. I never was good with multi chaptered stories, and these are indeed not a one shots 🥲

What are your writing strengths?

Ugh... I don't know? I think I was pretty good with dialogues and descriptions of the surroundings to build the atmosphere. But... I guess it's not for me to decide but for the readers?

What are your writing weaknesses?

I rarely finish what I've started lmao I should write everything in one go or else I'll never finish it... Or will finish it in two months even if it's a 2k words one shot

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love them! I've only done it with my LOTR fics (with Sindarin) but I really love it. But I really love it when the language is different from the language of the settings? Like, if the story is happening in England and everyone is English, but you have two characters who can speak idk Dutch, let them have a Dutch language in their dialogue. I had a rant post about it not that long ago actually lmao You have to think about your in-universe language

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Ahhh Bungou Stray Dogs! I love them, and I'd gladly try to write something for them. Not a character/character but reader my beloved.

And maybe Stephane Narcisse (reign) my beloved and a reader

What's your favorite fic you've written?

The blood on my hands (Eomer) and Peace (Finan) are definitely my fave ones I think. They are dark and both explore some trauma

No pressure tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @lord-aldhelm @holy3cake @gemini-mama @emilyhufflepufftlk @persephones-journey @solinarimoon @mrsalwayswrite @emmanuellececchi @bilbotargaryen @levithestripper @mrsarnasdelicious @paula-in-dreamland

[itsrlymine]

can I just say in the midst of the negative anon(s) that as someone who used to feel like I needed to be coddled in order to Be Okay, your posts and your tone have actually been so empowering for me because like, yeah, I'm a wholeass GOD, not an insecure kid who needs to be gentle parented. like I'm all for Love and Compassion but who the fuck says that Love and Compassion have to be demonstrated in the same way by everybody we meet??

and like, even if you were being outright mean (which I haven't actually seen from you so idk what anons are projecting lol), would a GOD be so fragile that someone else's attitude affects their confidence? it's not like you're abusive lmao what are ppl on about.

so like. I know you don't need anyone else's permission to be your awesome self, but for what it's worth, yes pls keep doing you 👏 💖 😭

and thank you for leading by example and being unapologetically yourself; it's not your job to use the words and tone that other people think they need to hear in order to be okay.

and I hope the ppl who've been identifying with the idea that they need to be coddled find empowerment despite themselves. 💖 like, to anyone else reading this,, we're so powerful y'all. if you look for reasons to feel victimized you're gonna find them. maybe try looking for reasons to feel strong and confident af instead? because you're actually a badass bitch (gender neutral). don't forget who you are, y'all ✨

Anon I need you to send me an emoji too omg I love you!! It's really crazy how so many "coaches" and "teachers" of the law have made so many people feel like the have to be fully dependent on them. Giving someone else credit for the success you have made defeats the whole purpose. I don't get phased by things people say bc I know they are just projecting and frustrated with themselves but thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I HOPE EVERYONE READING THIS HEARD WHAT ANON SAID! As the creator of your experience if things people say rub you the wrong way, it says more about you than who ever was talking to you. Remember that. thank you again my love!!!

[sunnysidesevenup]

HII IL YOUR OC SO SO MUCH CAN YOU YAP A LIL ABOUT THEM??? (I NEED MORE CONTENT)

ALSO NEW MOOT?? 😭❤️🫶 MAYBE??❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

NEW MOOT, HI OMGGGG YOUR ART IS SO COOL

and YES ABSOLUTELY I can yap about my guys 😭

Yuichi:

- my beloved magicless prefect lol. He’s probably the most normal of my oc’s in the sense that his problems are like, average family problems, but also he went to another world and was basically like “omg I get to start over and never talk to anyone I previously knew ever again!” so maybe not that normal.

- He’s actually got similar problems to Riddle! He doesn’t realize his family being that controlling is abnormal until he meets Riddle, either—so he’s also having a crisis. When the gang is learning about Riddle’s mom and situation he went “yeah but isn’t everyone’s parents like that? haha” to which Ace and Deuce stared at him like “NO??? WHAT???”

- he didn’t have any friends in his old world, mainly because 1) his family kept him so busy with massive expectations, studying and work and 2) he’s very undiagnosed autistic lmao.

- him and Malleus are not shipped together but please know that they have the absolute most romantic friendship possible. It’s 100% platonic. they just say lines to each other that sound like they belong in an otome game with complete platonic sincerity

Arlo:

- probably the oc I post about the most at this point lmaooo 😭 and yet I’ve never spoken about his backstory or problems or anything somehow,,,,

- he falls in love easily. I mean, like, people are nice to him and then he immediately has a crush on them. It’s something he HATES about himself—and it caused him a lot of problems growing up. Every single person he’s ever liked payed ZERO attention to him, in favor of other people (usually his siblings). He’s not playing second best, he’s not even on the scoreboard.

- he used to be really sweet! which was mostly him just trying to get people to like him (and his parents to pay any attention to him). He eventually figured out that being mean to people got attention quicker, and it felt more natural to him (also it’s hard to fall in love with people when they hate you, isn’t it?)

- he fundamentally believes he’s not a very good person, so he would NEVER confess his feelings to Neige.

- his unique magic is called Siren Song! like the name implies, it causes people to fall in love with him and be willing to do anything for him for 24 hours. It’s the type of unique magic he was desperate for as a kid, but now he HATES it. It’s just a reminder to him of how pathetic he was (his words).

Elio:

- he’s so sweet and I love him so much. despite all the grief he’s felt throughout his life he tries his best to be happy and optimistic, and he’s never tried to close himself off from connection.

- despite how easy going he initially seems, he’s VERY pissed at Sebek lol. The guy spoke bad about humans a few too many times around him, might have said something about his family, and now he gives him the Disappointed Upperclassman Stare whenever he enters a room😭

- he’s in the board game club! he likes games a lot, but he also has unnaturally good luck. Azul and Idia lowkey ban him from games of chance sometimes. (Also… Idia occasionally forces Elio to do gacha rolls for him. His luck is just better, and he wants that new character!!)

Ithel:

- his personality is actually pretty dramatic and sarcastic lol, he says funny stuff constantly but under his breath. very studious as well!!! he’s very smart

- when I say he’s experiencing trauma, I MEAN it. like. constant nightmares of dying, panic attacks, etc. the two years when he’s separated from Elio while he’s at school are what push him over the edge. Despite this, he outwardly seems to hold it together pretty well.

- he’s an amazing actor! If he wasn’t as freaked out, he might actually be able to get a role in a movie or something—it would make him happy.

- he teases Epel for being “cute” constantly, just because he knows it bothers him. despite that, they get along fairly well. The type of friendship that roll their eyes behind Vil’s back and then giggle at each other, and then immediately get caught lmao.

[verushkak70]

THANK YOU for this

Hard to put into words how sick but unsurprised I am

On the one hand, this swing towards right wing fascism isn't very surprising - it' is happening all over the developed/1st world... Look at all the recent elections in Europe

OTOH it's also a lot like, y'know, the 1930s in Germany & Austria, so it's completely sickening & disheartening

Most of the time, I just can't understand how people are so easily fooled, I just CAN'T...

& then I remember:

not everyone grew up with teachers for parents...

Not everyone was read to before bed as a child, instilling literacy as a value & a lifelong love of reading & learning;

not everyone had parents who taught them to question the status quo (except for them, lol), to think critically (except about them), & who were involved in local politics as well as worked for or organized unions;

not everyone learned the TRUE history of the US (& police & the Pinkertons) - as opposed to the watered down & whitewashed bullshit taught in every US public school history or social studies class I ever took (including AP history in high school) - at the dinner table;

not everyone had much older siblings who were on the debate team in high school & was thus forced to very quickly learn & practice logical reasoning & debate skills (even if it was over ultimately stupid household shit);

not everyone has traveled outside the US multiple times (& no not only to all-inclusive Mexican or Caribbean resorts);

not everyone has SEEN social democracy up close & personal in their travels (on one trip, a Paris Critical Mass protest completely stopped all traffic & our tour bus from moving for over an hour, lol; I've never seen so many people on bikes in one place before or since);

not everyone grew up with immigrant grandparents that gave them a much wider vision of both secret American history & what America is & CAN be;

not everyone has the privilege of a college education;

not everyone's mom supported a woman's right to choose (& safe, legal prostitution) from before they were born;

not everyone grew up with 3 different denominations (Lutheran, Catholic, Greek Orthodox) of Christianity which, while instilling a dislike for going to church and subsequent agnosticism, also instilled a belief in Christian values as fundamentally about tolerance, peace, caring for the poor/sick/old/underdogs, & righteously standing up to bullies, corruption, and powermongering;

not everyone had books & news magazines around the house growing up, that showed what the US & CIA were REALLY doing in South & Central America that has literally destroyed democracy in many countries to install dictators, as long as they were American as opposed to Russian allies (& who therefore doesn't wonder either why things are so bad there or why people would be desperate to leave & get to America);

not everyone was taught US labor history at the dinner table & got to university with a very healthy skepticism about industrialists, corporations, & capitalism in general;

not everyone had one, let alone two, parents questioning Milton Friedman, the Chicago School of economics, & neoliberal economic policy way before it was hip to do so, or was taught the true purpose of privatization (wealth transfer)

No, most Americans never got any of that... & consequently in their fear about their economic future & their children's future, they've grabbed onto what they think is populism but is actually right wing scare tactics & demagoguery like a lifesaver because it tells them everything they want to hear & provides convenient scapegoats (just like Hitler & Mussolini did) (but secretly doesn't really give a shit about them at all, except for their votes, & plans to change NOTHING for the benefit of anyone but those already drowning in wealth & power)

Which then makes it make a little more sense

it's just monumentally sad to me - like, don't ever want to get out of bed again depressing - that in both Europe & America, now that the generations that lived through WWI & WWII have died, people have forgotten their history (if it was ever honestly taught to them at all, let's be real) & the world is going through this rise of fascism yet again - like, have we learned NOTHING? - but this time, attached to the biggest wealth transfers in history, enabled by & begotten by neoliberal economic policy - which will fuck over the very people who voted for it, who have no idea what is coming

Fair warning: If a single other Canadian even vaguely downplays the severity of what is happening in America right now I WILL block judiciously. I am already sick and exhausted of it.

[izzyspussy]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[contagious-watermelon]

it's kind of like insanely isolating that literally every aspec or "ace & aro" space I've found has been in actuality, solely for aces. perhaps arospec aces or aroaces who entirely prioritize their asexuality could also find company there, but even as an aromantic person who is also asexual, they're really not intended for me. so I can only imagine how isolating it must be if you're aromantic and allosexual

[frankenfossil]

Oh! I nearly forgot, but can I ask the significance of this panel?

It comes directly after Dee explains that he can’t come and see her from the future whenever he wants. (Which is one of my favorite moments where Dee’s true eldritch horror leaks in to the story), so I assume it’s… sort of a metaphor? How Emily finds herself at the foot of something she realizes is much, much bigger than she contemplated before?

(Also, I just wanted to compliment you for this panel)

(The first time I saw it, I imagined Dee was showing her this on purpose, time traveling from sometime the same day to really show her what it would be like. An object lesson.

The second time I saw it, I started to wonder

Because Dee himself doesn’t really look aware of what is going on behind him.

And maybe, just maybe, this one moment in time has become the only moment that Dee allows himself to come back to to see Emily, the one moment where he can get lost in the crowd with every other time he came back to look. The one moment where he’s explaining why he can’t come back.

Just… Makes me sad, and I wanted to say thank you for that too, because I love these characters and the story they tell, the sweet and bitter.)

Oh!!!

(Quick test of my ability to find which chapter stuff happens in)

I love your reading of that Uluru panel!! I think I probably didn’t intend anything that deep with it; these time skip montage style chapters are pretty choppy and I’m usually trying to figure out a way to touch on all these brief scenes or moments that I don’t want to spend a whole chapter on for whatever reason, and arrange them in a way where the cuts aren’t too hideously abrupt. For visual reasons I try to contrast different locations and not put 2 dialogue heavy moments directly next to each other. Mood wise, I don’t really want to cut from something serious and angsty to something that’s a complete backflip on that. I also sometimes just feel like drawing a nice landscape and hope it achieves my aims on these fronts haha.

I think also here I was trying to move from that final sentence, “The present is more than enough”, to demonstrating them appreciating having that present together - being able to go do cool and enriching stuff, something not completely mundane but not completely fantastical either. (I mean... sightseeing within your own country is extremely normal, but going to Uluru from Melbourne... not a convenient day trip, since it’s 2000km; 25 hour solid driving, or you can fly in a few hours but I think you have to go via Sydney, so that makes it take at least twice as long I guess. Not that it's specified how long they're there for. I haven’t been myself but I’d love to one day...)

So, yeah!! More of a mechanical/compositional rationale than an intentional metaphor, but I think your reading makes complete sense and actually improves the page! (Sometimes I do intend visual metaphors... but sometimes they’re just happy accidents.)

And thanks for the compliment re the crowd of Dees!! I also love the moments I can lean into his eldritch qualities... they’re sadly few and far between but maybe that helps them be more surprising?? Definitely your first reading was what I intended, that he zigzagged back pretty quickly, probably even from within the conversation, but there is an inherent ambiguity to Dee’s time travelling where unless I take pains to spell it out, there really is no way to know when he’s come from. Even if he can be assumed to be taking every interaction chronologically, there’s no knowing how much time has passed for him between each visit. I don’t even know how to estimate how long his experience of time is, when he’s zigzagging back so densely all the time; even the number of living things on Earth any moment is an incomprehensibly mind-boggling number. That eldritch horror again!

Truth be told I hadn’t thought of him coming back to this moment and blending in with the crowd for the rest of the future ;_; but that’s so real... he could well be, the sad sack...

I had a different sillier thought from slightly misreading your question on first pass, which is that maybe he doesn’t originally know what’s going on behind him, but then later on as he’s just going about his business he goes “oh I know exactly how to punctuate that thing I said earlier!!!” and then does it as an afterthought. Oh to have the ability to add the things you wish you’d said to an earlier conversation 😂

[bmpmp3]

also sorry to my 3 or so francophone followers that i now use ur language purely as some type of echolalic vocal stim. for some reason beaucoup de and avec have replaced lots of and with in my entirely english mental narration. i mumble bonjour merci beaucoup bonjour bonjour to myself and then get confused when someone nearby responds ça va. almost like i forgot french was real?

[cerealmonster15]

IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board

it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.

but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭

also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out

[video source i screenshot from]

MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.

like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"

but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl

and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE

ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior

and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]

alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!

[coquelicoq]

just saw my friend who speaks french and told her about my list of favorite french words to pronounce and as soon as she asked for examples i forgot all of them except ensemencement. so i was like, okay get this: ensemencement. expecting her to be like, never heard of it. but she was like, ensemencement! and i said, it's an insanely fantastic word but it probably doesn't come up in the wild in conversation like at all frequently :( because how often is it necessary to talk about the act of sowing seeds if you're not a farmer? and she was like well it was necessary to me. i used it for sure. and that's when i remembered that she was in france specifically to get a science degree which involved reading agriculture textbooks in french so yeah. without even meaning to i found the one american who already has a relationship with the french word ensemencement. serendipity.