#but not in like like a mind read-y sort of way
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>>> TUNES TO LOSE YOUR MIND TO <<<
KEEP IN MIND: This is a living playlist! Songs may be added and removed at times to further curate the vibe I'm going for. I'll try to keep this post updated, but you can just check out the link for an up-to-date track list.
(EDIT: Song discussions are not finished! I have a lot more to say. I'll reblog when I've updated.)
This is set in a sort of nebulous time between Harry's life right before Martinaise and the night before he lost his memory. I wanted this playlist to feel erratic-- full of manic energy one second, then slow and bleak the next, dreamy, unreal, then right back to ridiculous.
(In no particular order. Shuffle for full emotional whiplash effect.)
I Don't Like My Mind - Mitski
I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room [...] And then I get sick and throw up and there's another memory that gets stuck / Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk / And it may be a few years, but you can bet it's there, waiting still
The days before cleaning out the rooms... also, eating an entire cake and throwing it all up again feels very harry-esque... Overindulgence
A whole cake, so please don't take / Take this job from me
End Of The World - Hether
I mean, I could just post the entire set of lyrics as evidence, tbh. Struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life in the wake of heartbreak (5 year old heartbreak, but who's counting anyway)
I wake up in the morning and I wonder / Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand / No I can't understand / How life goes on the way it does
Cane Shuga - Glass Animals
Baby, don't go / I'll stop breathing coke / No more bloody nose / No more John Does Burn through my love / Just like your drugs / I've had quite enough / Or lack thereof
This is about the last moments of Harry and Dora's relationship to me. The chorus (a kind of circular, endless, self-aggrandizing internal monologue likely fueled by stimulants, implied in the song) continuing after the second verse kind of reflects the solution for Lonesome Long Way Home.
"11 Voyager Road. You no longer live there. Those times are gone, and so are those people. Why did you come here? Why are you still here? And whereâs the dealer? You have to get back to work. Thatâs all you have now."
Hot Venom - Miniature Tigers
Hot venom is mixing with my blood / I can feel it on my fingers and taste it on her tongue / It feels so good to fall in love with you
I've heard a lot of people say this song is about heroin addiction, which is thematically appropriate for this playlist, but also. Harry's unhealthy obsession with Dora/Dolores Dei. Adoration (and hatred) so strong it's killing him.
Her venom makes me strong / Stronger than I am on my own / Before too long, I'll wake up to it gone / Wondering how I ever was happy [...] You can't go back now; that's not how this works / And as long as she's gone, I can never be happy
Who Is She ? - I Monster
This is just straight up about Harry's recurring dream to me. Just. Gestures at the lyrics.
Oh, who is she? / A misty memory / A haunting face / Is she a lost embrace? Am I in love with just a theme? / Or is Ayesha just a dream?
I feel like it falls in line really well with the idea that Harry's mind has been affected by the Pale-- a lack of memory, or maybe mixed memories, in a misty haze beyond the boundaries of reality. (and maybe Dolores Dei has started haunting him via Pale? Like some theories I've read.)
Somewhere across the sea of time / A love immortal such as mine Will come to me / Eternally
I Don't Miss You at All - FINNEAS
Dummy - Portugal. The Man
F the World - The Northern Boys
You Stupid Bitch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV Show)
These shards are a metaphor for my soul Won't stop the self-pity 'cause I'm on a roll
This song perfectly captures the inherent melodrama of a mental downward spiral imo. Catastrophic and all-encompassing. This is what I think it sounds like in there (Harry's head).
You ruined everything / You stupid bitch / You ruined everything / You stupid, stupid bitch / You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things / And wants the world to burn / Bitch / You're a stupid bitch / And lose some weight
Oleander - Mother Mother
Intermission - Scissor Sisters
Skit #2 - Kanye West
Self explanatory. He's got no money. He's got no clothes. He has no car and he has no hoes.
We broke, broke broke phi broke We ain't got it Broke, broke, broke phi broke We ain't got it Don't spend no money, ain't got no clothes Ain't got no cars, ain't got no hoes
Nobody - Mitski
My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people
This one is more about the feeling of the song itself rather than the lyrics specifically; I love the upbeat tempo that continues through the song (trying to remain steady, continue working), how the beat is simple at first then builds into a kaleidoscope of sound by the end of the track (overwhelmed by the world), then ending in a distorted loop (trapped in a cycle). This song has always felt really authentic to my own experience with mental spirals. The themes of loneliness tie it all into a nice bow.
I'm A Broken Heart - the bird and the bee
Not Allowed - TV Girl
Party Time - The Northern Boys
Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters
(Do The) Act Like You Never Met Me - TV Girl
Novocaine For The Soul - Eels
Basket Case - Green Day
Do you have the time / to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools / Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it
I just think this one fits him well during Martinaise... just shaken up and unloading trauma onto unsuspecting strangers like a can of soda (bad analogy lol), depending on the dialogue you choose.
I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore, she said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Sometimes, I give myself the creeps / Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up / I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid, or am I stoned?
Also it's just a little pathetic, which just... it fits. Sorry Harry.
Labyrinth - Miracle Musical
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VALETUDINARIANISM
YANDERE!VIKTOR X IMMUNOCOMPROMISED!READER â CHAPTER ONE
âą NEXT CHAPTER (coming soon)
ABSTRACT: An immunocompromised individual comes across Viktor's commune and Viktor wants to do more than just cure them of their ailments. CONTENT WARNINGS: gender neutral reader, season two spoilers, yandere behavior, manipulation, cult behavior, no mentions of "y/n", mind reading, use of google translate for Czech WORD COUNT: 1.7k VIKTOR'S YANDERE ARCHETYPE: delusional, protective
Growing up in the Undercity was especially hard for someone like you: someone who was dealing with an debilitating disability. In a city full of pollution and waste only worsened your symptoms, especially since you had no money to really manage it well, let alone treat it. Life constantly had you recovering or suffering from illnesses, one after the other. It felt like you were drowning in an ocean of chronic health issues, wave after wave of illness pushing you down just when you reached the surface to catch your breath.
One day, wandering the lanes in your ill state, you heard whispers of a man who could cure any ailment. Someone who utilized the arcane arts to cure disabilities, illnesses, anything... Of course, this lured you in. Not having any other hope in getting the help you desperately needed, you decided to look into this mysterious man.
Viktor, that's what his name was, or so you've heard as it was mumbled in the streets of the Undercity. A man who could heal all: the Machine Herald.
Eventually, you found the location of this mysterious healer in the outskirts of Zaun. Lanterns and cozy looking tents decorated the landscape, centered around a large iridescent orb in the center, which was presumably where the healer wasâ
"Excuse me," A meek voice emerged from the front gates. As you glanced over to the voice's origin, you spotted a man standing there with his hands held together. His warm auburn hair fell in messy strands over his forehead, framing his peach face and pale eyes. He was adorned in a white robe that seemed to be some sort of fabric wrapped around his body, which was accented by the metal accessories decorated him torso and left arm. The most unique thing about this man was that he had iridescent markings encompassing his right eye, looking akin the the pattern on the orb in the cult's center.
"Yes?" You replied, slowly approaching the weary man.
"Can you... please drop your weapons? This is a place of peace, not violence." The man spoke up, gesturing to the knife that was sheathed in its holder wrapped around your thigh. Realizing what he was referring to, you immediately were put on edge. Why was this man trying to take your weapons and leave you defenseless in a city such as theirs? However, you had your other knife hidden in your boot for emergencies, so you'd be fine to lose one. Begrudgingly, you undid the buckle of the knife's holster and dropped it to the floor, much to the relief of the man before you.
"Thank you." The man spoke up, his voice tinged with a sense of relief.
"Where is this healer I have heard of?" You queried the gateman, facing him with your full body now as you adjusted your stance. To this, a small smile spread across his lips.
"Ah, you mean the Machine Herald, yes. He should be in his center. If you'd like, I can lead you there." The gateman spoke, gesturing towards that weird orb in the center. Reluctantly, you nodded, letting the gateman lead the way.
As you two walked around, you gazed at the surroundings. Men, women, children, all running amuck and looking... happy. It was sure an odd sight to experience in a place such as the Undercity. These people had those iridescent markings on their body like the gateman had. Is that the Machine Herald's healing? Did it leave that sort of marking on those he cured? They each seemed different markings in different places, all with the same iridescent look and sheen. What would yours look like?
"We are here." The gateman uttered, gesturing to the large orb before you two with two large crescent shapes bent around it like a broken halo. As his hand landed on your shoulder, you jumped a little before glancing over at him.
"He will heal you, trust in him." The man proclaimed with such assurance in his voice that you could feel it in your chest. Slowly, the man's hand slipped from your shoulder as he left you before the orb, walking back to his gate.
Your gaze left the man as you looked up at the orb before you, shocked at the sheer size of it. With much reluctance, you took your first steps up the stairs to its entrance, mentally bracing for whatever you saw through those double doors. With shaky hands and a racing heart, you reached for the handles and pushed the doors open.
As you glanced around, you were greeted with foliage in every nook and cranny of the room. Plants and trees you had never seen before with vibrant colors flooded all your senses as if trying to suffocate them with such vibrancy. Glancing up at the ceiling, you could see the holes of the orb filtering in a golden sunlight, dappling the flourishing interior with the light of the heavens. In the center of the concrete paths stood a lavish water fountain. With shaky steps, you approached it as you admired the clean looking water. You had never seen clear water like this in your lifetime, let alone in the Undercity of all places.
"Fascinating, isn't it all?" A voice with a thick Czech accent spoke up from behind you. Glancing back, you take in the sight of an individual wrapped in what appeared to be some sort of blue sheet that was doctored into a makeshift robe with the help of ivory colored belts at his waist. His umber hair laid in undulating waves, framing his pale face as the tips of his hair were a soft blonde. While his face was a pale tone, the rest of his skin from his strong jawline down was a purplish grey with raised markings that looked like billowing smoke which were adorned with golden markings. "All this beauty in a place such as this once was." He continued, walking towards you in a slow, meticulous manner. After staring at him for a moment, you cleared your throat.
"You are... the healer, correct?" You muttered, watching him carefully as you kept your guard up.
"Relax, this is not a place of malintent." The Machine Herald spoke softly, reaching out for you with a gentle hand towards your forehead. For an unknown reason, you felt calm as you gazed up at his hand, letting his fingers graze your forehead with a tender touch. A small spark filled his gaze as his fingertips glowed softly. Slowly, he pulled his hand from your forehead, looking down at you.
"Ah, I see your ailments now. Your body is weak, yet your soul is strong. The will to live you have is very admirable, despite your chronic hardships." The healer spoke, much to your confusion.
"How did you know that?" You questioned, raising a brow at his sudden knowledge of you.
"I saw it when I touched your forehead, milĂĄÄek," He muttered, looking at his fingertips for a moment before averting his gaze back to you. "I can heal you of your ailments, which is why you are here, correct?"
"What's the catch?" You interjected, obviously still on guard about the whole situation. It all seemed to be too good to be true. After so many years of you suffering, it can go away just like that? Viktor's face stayed stoic and unmoving.
"Ah, I see. You are afraid I am taking advantage of your vulnerabilities for my personal gain," Viktor proclaimed as he strolled past you towards the water fountain. As you looked over your shoulder, you could see him picking up a cane that was leaning against a tree near the water fountain. "I can understand why you would think that why, given how long you have suffered from having such suffering in your life from illness." He continued as his gaze shifted from his cane to you.
"So, what do you want? Money?" You questioned, turning around to fully face the Machine Herald. To this, the Machine Herald scoffed.
"Money? No, no, I have no need in monetary assets." He replied, his thick eyebrows knitted together.
"So, what is it? What's the price?" You spoke, walking towards the healer, trying to rack your brain with any possibility.
"I only request your devotion. This commune could do well with addition such as yourself." Viktor declared, holding his cane at his side firmly. Oh great, you had to join this guy's cult to get healed of your disorder. You felt a pit in your stomach when you realized his implications. You would probably have to live in this cult for the rest of your life. What would life be like? Would it be as utopic as it seemed or would things be more dystopic than Zaun?
"I don't think... I can do that." You muttered out, taking a step back. Something was off about this whole thing. Something was under the surface that you didn't know about, you were certain. To your rejection, Viktor's eyes widened softly before he tutted, offering his hand out to you.
"You are scared of the possibilities, I understand that. But I can assure you that you can trust me." The Machine Herald cooed, his purplish grey hand beckoning you to him with spindly fingers. You felt your heart race in your chest. No, you can't do it. Something was wrong. You knew something was wrong, deep down.
To this, you took two more steps backwards only to bolt out of the orb, not looking back even after the Machine Herald called out your name. Bursting through the double doors of the center, you run through the winding paths between tents and markets. Narrowly dodging cult members who all looked at you with bewildered eyes, you ran as fast as your legs could carry you. You had to get out of here. Now. Something was seriously wrong with this fucked up cult and you knew better than to get involved any further. You ran through the gates where the auburn-haired man stood, confused at your sudden escape.
You had no idea what you had just done by rejecting The Machine Herald's blessing. You had no idea what you had awoken in the healer. He knew you were gone, but we knew he would find you.
SONG OF THE FIC: DISEASE - LADY GAGA
#lovesick writes#yandere#yandere fanfiction#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere viktor#yandere viktor lol#yandere viktor arcane#viktor#viktor lol#viktor lol x reader#viktor arcane#viktor arcane x reader#yandere viktor arcane x reader#yandere viktor lol x reader#lol x reader#arcane x reader#yandere lol#yandere arcane#yandere league of legends#league of legends#arcane#lol#yandere lol x reader#yandere league of legends x reader#yandere arcane x reader#gender neutral reader#gender neutral y/n#league of legends x reader#viktor league of legends
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mayor's banquet pt. 2 // sam winchester
pairing: sam winchester x female!reader
summary: you and sam do not get along. after a hunt where you're put in danger, you're forced to come to terms with the fact that you two are more compatible than you think.
content: enemies to sort of lovers, canon typical violence, arguing, maybe out of character sam and dean, no use of y/n, reader is about to be killed at end
word count: 2.7k
note: i lied. it's gonna have to be three parts. sorry! but the last part will be out later today (it's currently 1:25 am on 1/2 for me), and that will contain the smut. if you haven't already, read the first part of this before continuing on, and if you were looking forward to the smut, check out my other sam winchester fic. for everyone who has liked and reblogged the other fic, thank you so much!
masterlist
----
You woke up to a low chuckle at the end of the bed. You were first confused, then you felt a pair of muscled arms holding you close. Your own arms were wrapped around Sam, putting the two of you in a very damning position. And there, at the end of the bed, was the witness to this. Dean, who shot you a bright smile.
âYou look so sweet like this.â He said, in his typical Dean sarcasm. âNot like the usual pain in the ass you two normally are.â
You moved away from Sam, waking him in the process. You looked each other in the eyes, daring the other to speak. This ended with you moving off the bed, already missing the warmth that Sam had offered you. It had been a couple years since you had woken up in someoneâs arms and it had been nice for a moment. Until you realized they were Samâs and you knew there was no way you could ever have admitted to enjoying his company.
Dean laughed again as Sam sat up. The older Winchester brother looked like he had been up for a while, having already gotten dressed and ready for the day. It would be a long one. You three had to think up a way to kill not only George Wilson, but also the rest of his family. It wouldnât be easy but when was it ever easy in any situation you found yourself in.
âGuess heâs a cuddler, huh?â Dean joked and nudged you with his elbow. Laughter danced in his eyes while a storm cloud stirred in yours. You werenât enjoying his little game of embarrassing you, and from the look on Samâs face, he felt the same. You turned away, hauling your bag onto the bed. As you moved to go into the bathroom to change, you felt eyes on you. They werenât Deanâs, he was currently outside on the phone, chatting away to Bobby. You moved your head ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of the brunette watching you move. You scowled, causing him to look away quickly. You assumed he was so invested in you because he was searching for some way to make what had happened your fault. If only you knew what was going on in his mind.
Sam had known he was in love with you for around a month now. He felt it when his heart fluttered when you were around. When you smiled or laughed, making him want to do the same. It was something he wasnât prepared for when you had joined their team. In fact, he had hated you at first. He truly thought you would just get in the way of saving his brother from going to Hell. That you would just be another person he had to keep safe. Somewhere between then and now he had seen keeping you safe as a basic responsibility rather than a chore. He had wanted to tell you, but as far as he knew you hated him. So, out of some sense of self preservation, he had begun to put walls up around him. He would argue with you about small things, like where everyone would eat. If you wanted to fight, then he would fight. He tried not to start them, but sometimes, you would do just the right thing that would make his heart reach for you, and in a sick way to protect himself he would lash out on you. It didnât make sense, but love didnât make sense, right?
As you opened the door to exit the bathroom, you came face to face - or face to chest - with Sam. You looked up at him, frowning when he didnât move right away. He cleared his throat before shifting to let you pass, but your shoulder still brushed him on your way out. You tilted your head in confusion and turned towards the now shut bathroom door. You were still staring at it when Dean came back into the room.
âAre you trying to memorize the wood grain? We got things to do, come on.â He spoke in his usual joking lilt. You turned to face him and rolled your eyes. His words did get you moving and you continued the things you had to do.
âDoes Sam seem⊠weird to you?â You asked with a low voice, careful to not let Sam overhear. Dean looked at you with a smirk and you instantly regretted saying anything.
âWell, are you sure you didnât try to feel him up in the middle of the night?â Dean waggled his eyebrows. The door to the bathroom opened to reveal a confused Sam.
âWhoâs she trying to feel up?â Sam asked which caused you to roll your eyes again, this time in real annoyance. You quickly finished what you were doing before walking out of the motel room and slamming the door behind you.
----
It was already dark out by the time you had made it outside the bar. You were slightly early in hopes that you could get there before George to prepare yourself. Unfortunately, he had beat you there. You had to admit that he was handsome. If you could get past the whole immortal being who performs human sacrifices, he would be quite the catch.
You walked towards him and the only sound in the area was the clicking of your heels. You had gone shopping this afternoon for a second hand formal dress and shoes, alone because Dean hadn't wanted to sit there and there was no way you were asking Sam. The get up wasn't your usual style due to the limits in movement it put on you but it was better suited to the occasion than your usual jeans and t-shirt. When you revealed the outfit to the boys, it was like watching a reality makeover show. Dean shot you a few suggestive comments, yet Sam was silent. You could have sworn you saw his jaw flex and a fire roar in his eyes, but he didn't say anything, good or bad, about your change.
âYou look beautiful tonight.â George spoke with a flirty undertone.
âYou don't look too bad yourself, Mr. Wilson.â George was wearing a suit, minus any kind of tie. You watched as his eyes lit up in what reminded you of a cat when it set its eyes on a mouse. It left you feeling uneasy but you told yourself that Sam and Dean would be around all night long with weapons far deadlier than the knife you had hidden on your side.
âOh please, Mr. Wilson is my father.â George told you while taking you hand in his again. This time you were prepared for the chill and held through. You smiled warmly at him as he led you to the banquet.
----
An hour had passed by before you spotted Sam and Dean. They were dressed in their usual suits, the ones they used to pose as FBI. You locked eyes with Dean and he sent you a charming smile. Sam only rolled his eyes and turned away as George spun you in circles. You had only been dancing for a few minutes, but you were already starting to forget why it was so important to kill this man. He was so charming, so patient, soâŠ
âWho are those guys? Your brothers⊠cousins maybe?â You heard the words close to your ear as George held you close, dancing to a slow song. You laughed softly at the idea of it.
âJust close friends.â You replied as you felt his hand fall down your back. You watched as Sam and Dean turned a corner, going to find the room where you were supposed to lure George. They looked to be arguing, or more of Sam arguing while Dean laughed, assumingly making jokes about whatever Sam was frustrated about. You held on to George, forcing yourself to not get caught up in his glamour. Your eyes darted to a clock on the wall, seeing that it was almost the time when you were supposed to sneak the man away.
âDo you wanna go somewhere more⊠private?â You purred in his ear. You felt both of his hands go to your hips.
âAnything for my dazzling dateâ was the last thing you heard before being led in the same direction Sam and Dean had gone.
----
Meanwhile, Sam was absolutely losing it. Dean knew everything. Every thought Sam had about you, every feeling. He had figured it out a small amount of time before Sam had, seemingly knowing his brother better than he knew himself. Of course, his first reaction to his little brother telling him was sliding a condom across the motel table while you were out. Little did Dean know that he would become his brother's sole confidant. Any time you made him flustered or angry, Dean had to hear about it. Tonight was no different when he spotted George's hand on your lower back.
âCome on Dean, why couldn't we have done this without her? Left her in the room where she would be safe and not have some immortal man groping her.â Sam whispered angrily. He listened to his brother chuckle, which only made him huff out a breath.
âThis was her plan, Sammy. She knows what she's doing, and she needs to be the one to do it.â Dean replied as he searched for any lingering guests in the hallways. The last thing he needed was some old lady asking why he was there.
Sam knew his words were true. Of course he did. It was the same for him when they were looking for Azazel. He needed to kill the demon that had killed his mother. It still didn't stop the image of you so close with George flash behind his eyes every time he blinked.
Once they reached the room they needed, they started to set up. Rope and duct tape hidden behind a vase to contain the family members when they entered the room. They made sure any other exits were blocked off. They couldn't mess this up. Overnight, there were two more deaths, which left one sacrifice before the only time in this century to kill the family would pass. They knew whatever scared townsperson that was chosen would be hard to deal with once the fighting began, but there wasn't much they could do about that.
Now, all they had to do was wait for you and George to walk through the door.
----
You didnât remember when it had started, but you were making out with George Wilson. It felt like you were in a dream. Your head was fuzzy and his hands were everywhere. The pair of you moved down the hallway in a tangle of limbs. His kiss was rough with no intent to bring you pleasure. You knew you should stop, knew this was wrong, it was all wrong. But you couldnât. Maybe, just maybe, George was good. Maybe he was against everything his family had done. You were almost ready to throw the whole âkilling himâ thing out the window when you heard him say your name.
You stopped with a sharp intake of breath. You hadnât told him your name. It hadnât come up all night, he hadnât asked, and you were sure you had never said it. You pushed away from him. He hung his head low as a laugh rattled from his chest. His eyes had lost the charming glint from earlier.
âYou never told me your name, did you?â George asked. He stalked towards you while you backed up. Eventually your back hit the wall and you reached for the knife on your thigh. You could feel him growing closer and once he was within range, you swung your arm towards him. The blade nicked his cheekbone, causing a trickle of blood to run down his face. That was all it could do however, because he grabbed your wrist and twisted it until you dropped the weapon. You cried out in pain and hoped it wasn't broken.
âDo you really think you can kill me? Your great grandmother couldn't.â George sneered as he pushed you to your knees. He grabbed you by your hair and dragged you to a nearby room. It wasn't right. No, this wasn't the right room. Sam and Dean weren't here, the weapons and ropes weren't here. You scratched at George's arm and though it drew some spots of blood, he didn't even flinch.
âAnd your mother? God, she was a sorry excuse for a hunter. She was never going to kill me, kill us.â George rambled on as he threw you to the middle of the floor. You fell with a thump, trying your best to regain your thoughts. How could you do this by yourself, how could you get out of this? You felt George's hands on you again and you kicked at him. What was he doing?
He jumped away, but not before wrapping his hand around your phone. He opened it and searched through the contacts. You could feel a throbbing pain on your head.
âAh. Here we go.â George said, smiling at you. He kneeled down to your level. âThe Winchesters, a troublesome pair. You're going to tell them everything was a mistake, that you had it wrong like the stupid bitch you are, and I'll consider killing you quickly. You falter once and I kill all three of you.â He growled out the last part while daring you to object. You breathed in, still trying to find a way to get out of this. He had to have weapons somewhere, right?
He held the phone up to your ear. You heard the ringing of the line trying to go through before someone picked up. When you heard your name, something flipped in your brain. Sam. The stupid son of a bitch called Sam. You knew what you had to do, how you could tell them without actually saying it.
âSam, I was wrong. About everything. It's some local asshole who's killing people. George and his family, they're good people,â you cut a glare to George with the last three words, âthey wouldn't hurt anyone. Just go back to the room. I'll meet you there after the banquet.â You paused, waiting for the man in the other line to catch up to your words.
âUm, okay?â Sam replied, confusion lacing his words. âAre you sure? You were pretty adamant about this yesterday.â
âYes, I'm fine. Just - I gotta go.â You stopped, trying to make your next set of words believable to George. âI love you, Sam.â You felt the phone pull away as George snapped it shut, ending the call. You rolled your eyes, feeling nothing but annoyance and hatred for the man in front of you.
âAw, wasnât that just so sweet?â George mocked you as he walked about the room. He was gathering items as he walked. He held braids of ribbon, one of which he tied snugly around your head as if it were a crown. It was then you knew what he was doing. You were the last sacrifice. You knew he was going to kill you, but you just assumed it would have been after everything was said and done. He snatched your hands together before tying them in front of you with another ribbon. He pulled you to your knees and forced you into a position that made you look like you were praying.
âYou know, I killed your great grandmother. Yeah, she was difficult at first, but it was oh so sweet to slice my blade across her neck.â George pulled an ancient looking knife from a drawer. He walked a circle around you as if trying to take a mental picture of this moment. He stopped behind you. You felt his cold touch on the side of your head and his cold blade touch your neck. You closed your eyes, feeling fear wash over you. This was the closest to death you had been. Your heart felt like it was about to stop in your chest. You hoped Dean would find you soon, hell, you were to the point of wanting Sam to come to your rescue.
âAnd I bet your blood is going to look just as beautiful.â George finished.
#x reader#sam winchester#sam winchester fic#sam winchester x reader#spn#supernatural x reader#dean winchester
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One more night gone đ»
Summary: Based on the song Hello, Iâm in Delaware by City & Colour. Navigating the hardships of having a rockstar boyfriend and feeling just a bit small when he's away on tour.
Pairing: Noah x Reader
TW: talks of being sad and alone.
AN: maybe someday Iâll write something longer for now this will do? Lol I might make these into a little series. I have another one of these with another song that I love that Iâm working on as well. @concretejunglefm has seen my WIP list, and I hope I can get all of my ideas into something cozy and fun for yall to read.
Divider by @bernardsbendystraws
READERS POV
Watching Noah go on tour was always a bittersweet feeling for me. I loved seeing him accomplish all of his dreams and having the time of his life. I loved seeing him so happy about doing what he loved. But I also i hated that i felt so alone when he wasnât around. Yeah I had family and friends that I could easily call to come over but it didnât fill the void that I felt when he wasnât at home with me.
âI will see you againâ I heard through the speakers of my phone. I was currently on FaceTime with Noah, I admitĂ that I wasnât really paying attention to anything that he has said to me in the last 5 minutes.
My thoughts where hazy and I was feeling under the weather ever since he left for tour a week ago.
âBabeâŠare you okay?â I heard him ask me with a bit of concern in his voice.
âSorry..I just.. itâs so dumb. Forget it, how everything going?â I asked trying to change the subject.
I indeed felt dumb even bringing up the subject of how I felt, I didnât want him to feel guilty for doing what he loved.
âY/N you do know you can tell anything..right?â Noah asked making a long pause to make sure I would answer.
âYes I know, I just donât wanna make it seem like the end of the worldâ I paused for a moment â I miss you so much you have no idea, I just feel so little when your not around.â
I could see the apologetic look in his eyes, and it broke me even more to think that it was he might have felt a bit guilty for leaving me.
âPlease donât think that Iâm saying all of these to make you feel guilty or any of that sort.â I said âI love that you get to do what you love and Iâm so proud of everything you have accomplished, I just wish I was able to go with you this time aroundâ i let out a little laugh trying to subside the little ache growing inside me.
Noah took a breath before speaking to me again.
âI know baby, I miss you too, I wish you were here with meâ I could hear his voice break as I looked intently at his eyes through the screen. âI donât want you to feel alone, 17 more days and Iâll be back homeâ
I didnât want to continue on the subject because I couldn't even stand myself when I got overwhelmed with my feelings. So we continued to talk about everything else that had been going on since he left.
But in my mind 17 days felt like a lifetime, a lifetime without Noah. 17 days without getting to see his face, 17 days without waking up to him in bed. 17 days of not being able to have his intoxicating scent around me.
For now I laid in bed, I had put on one of Noahâs t shirt, which fit me like a dress, but for now is the only way I could feel close to him. It made the wait for him a little more plausible.
NOAHâS POV
It had been almost an hour since my FaceTime call with y/n and all I could think about was her sad eyes. I hated not being able to be by her side.
I know the feeling of being alone and small all too well because I too felt the same when she wasnât around. I always had this internal battle with myself of whether I should take a step back and be more involved in our relationship.
The boy and I were currently heading to the next city on our tour. We had 17 more days to go. 17 more days till I get to see her beautiful face.
âYou okay, man?â Jolly asked, a bit intrigued.
âUhh yeah, Iâm alrightâ I said giving him half a smile.
âDoesnât seem like it, do you wanna talk about it?â Nicholas chimed in emerging from the bunk area of the bus.
âI'm really okay, itâs y/nâ I said
âIs she okay, whatâs wrong?â I heard Jollyâs voice again with a tone of concern.
âPhysically nothing. Mentally sheâs having a hard time being aloneâ I took a deep breath. âI donât like being away from her so longâ
âI get it, it's tough being far away from our loved ones, but we gotta be strong,â Nicholas says, grabbing my shoulder.
âYeah I know, sometimes it just feels like my life is passing by, with every exit sign, with every departing flight. Itâs hard with so much time apartâ I paused for a moment. âSometimes my body aches and it hurts to sayâ
I could see the sympathy in both of my friends faces but I appreciate it the most that they were listening to me and I could vent to them without any sort of judgement.
ââŠ. And I wish I werenât here tonightâŠonly tonight I wish I could be with her. But this is my lifeâ my voice almost breaking. âI donât want to sound ungrateful I love what I do, I love what we do together, but sometimes is tough on both of us not being able to experience it togetherâ
âDonât worry Noah we will be home soon, and hey maybe next tour sheâll come with usâ Nicholas says with a smile on his face.
âYeah I hope so, thanks guys for listening to meâ I tell them both.
âWeâre here for youâ Jolly tells me while he stands up and heads into his bunk.
While the rest of my mates where already asleep in their respective bunks I was in the living room area of the bus. Taking all of the scenery that's passing by through the window. I saw the sign which read we were already in a new state.i decided to text y/n before I went to sleep.
Hello, Iâm in Delaware. 16 more days till weâre together. I love you. â€ïž
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I wake up again. and again. and again. But, every day I wake up. Every day I wake up to see her. Evert day I wake up as a protest to my past-self. The one that sulked, moped, that miserable mess who couldn't even wake up and eat some fucking food sometimes. The one who hid for years in the dark, watched generations pass, a faceless observer, because I couldn't even see myself let alone other people.
She was my sunshine, my apple-pie. She is a lingering sweetness that seeps through me still. She was an ambrosia that helped me survive all those years ago. She was a mirror that helped me see. She lay her hands over mine, fingers interlaced helping me-shape-me like pottery. She helped me see what had been hidden in the clay, how to find the arteries. She came to me like an apple fell out a tree, a random chance sparked melody. And God. We were so in tune.
We stayed together, built community, together we were harmony. A random chance sparked melody. A sweet apple song sung preciously. It's not like we were without jealousy. Sometimes we fought in a broken dissonance, a perfect dissonance. A mirror shattered, blood on hands, but still reflecting kind of dissonance.
But together. Together we built it back, piece by piece to a blood-on-hands sort of peace. Stained but still going. I offered her an apple, just like when we met the first time. she tilted her head a little, smiled, laughed a little and took it. I remember that moment especially. We were a random chance sparked melody. A sweet apple song sung preciously. But again and again. We chose to sustain. We chose the work. We fought through pain. Together, again and again.
We worked on a house. Slowly from the ground up. Built a home there, spread our roots. Got our hands mud-stained. Started a symphony, trumpets and flutes. People added their own harmonies as we sang our apple sweet melody. Took some apple seeds buried deep. Let our roots spread. We wed. Joined together, we fought for this melody that would last forever.
She saved me. Showed me how apple-sweet the world could be. We planted forests. Found family. It felt like fantasy. But as forests flowered again and again. Fruits of our labour reaped. Time started to creep. She started to slow as gray hair started to streaked, our perfect, apple sweet melody. I sat there tear ridden. Love written in the lines on her face. A story told, I let her lean on me as we embrace. Fingers interlaced I help her remember. Show her the healed arteries. Carve a story like pottery. Showing her what was in the clay. Where the love had been. The apple sung melody. The broken mirror put together again, hoping it would spark familiarity.
I remember the morning. That morning. I remember I woke up and was mourning. Sunlight hits and there I was mourning. Some days I woke up and didn't even want to get out of bed. Could've sung but I sulked, moped, and became that miserable mess instead. Before someone came to check on me, offered me an apple. Showed me our community, picked from our garden. My heart started to unhardened. I sung. I sung our apple sweet melody. Some new harmonies, not a perfect remedy. Echoes of what used to be. But enough.
I woke up. Every day I wake up. Every day I replay reverberations of the past, Inviting our community generations-past over. A community-A family that can last, that will last.
Every day I wake up I see a little less of her, the apple sweet melody still sung, some mew harmonies. But it's enough to see them. To see them all. Together again and again. Thousands of different versions of family. Each one stands there happily. Generation of our community. Apples that stray farther from the tree, taste just as sweet as our apple sweet melody. It's enough that it's sung still. A little in his smile, her eyes, on their lips.
It warms my heart to hear the echo again and again. Evolving but, underlying our undying sort of love. It's enough.
I invite people over again and again. I plant roots, still hear echos of that sweet apple sung melody. I look down at my hands stained. An epitaph of love remained. I sit down at the table, our sustained song. Each adding their own harmony. A patchwork quilt remedy. Just like the sweet apple sung melody. Fights away my melancholy. It's new. It's enough.
I look down at my hands stained.
Blood remembered. Lasting love reclaimed.
So let's do it for old times sake.
Again and again
My sweet apple-pie.
Lets sing our apple sweet melody.
Till nothing remains.
Most immortals become the angsty âeveryone I have ever loved is goneâ kind of immortal. You, on the other hand, instead took it upon yourself to be a loving presence to entire generations of your chosen family, because they are descended from someone you once loved long ago.
#short stories#short story#original poem#poetry#writeblr#writing#feedback appreciated#for realsies though#i want to know other ppls thoughts#but not in like like a mind read-y sort of way#in a totally sane and rational way :D
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you ever see a callout post or w/e where it's like. yeah okay when i see these (hopefully not faked) screenshots i can see why you'd interpret it the way you did. BUT this is also like the worst possible way you could read it if you don't give op any benefit of a doubt because you already decided they're awful. like sometimes someone isn't evil they're just not good at phrasing themselves and if you dedicated even 30 more seconds to reread what they said without attaching your own expectations you will likely be way less angry about it
#there is A Big Blog that shall not be named who posts a lot of these#but i know they posted lies before. or rather they took things so out of context and slapped a label on the person who posted them -#- to immediately turn you against said person. and if you read it w/o that label in mind this is a perfectly neutral text#and i KNOW they slap these labels needlessly bc i know some people they called out and they straight up lied about them#(as in. said they have x political opinion when they're very openly and vocally y. this sort of thing)#and this is all in the purpose of starting a smear campaign on way smaller blogs to ig drive them off the site#bc. idk. they disagreed with them on one thing? or liked a meme they happened to find disrespectful?#or maybe being a big blog like that just makes them believe their own hype and so every assumption they make is always right. who knows#moral of the story is if you get pissed at someone give it one more minute before you attack them#not bc it might bite you in the ass later (tho hopefully it will them) but bc we're all human and this shit is actively making life worse#like we are not making it as a society if we can't be civil in such a basic way even on such a small scale đ#yeah ok sorry rant over. closing anons bc i don't want anyone to interpret MY words in the worst possible way lol
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there has to be something wrong with me đ
#but Also...?#not in a vent-y way iâm literally ok but iâll be talking about my issues so just ignore this if you donât want to read about it#but iâve been thinking about it forever and i need to tell something or someone#i dislike how much i overthink . or maybe not overthink its not something thats constantly weighing on my mind#but sometimes i think. everyoneâs going to inevitably betray me and everyoneâs just lying to me#even friends who ive known for like 3+ years sometimes it just feels like once they get bored. thats it weâre done forever#irrational assumptions? iâm aware. but i just . when iâm feeling especially crazy#i donât know what iâm saying i just donât want to think or feel these sort of things anymore#my friends love me. isnât it unfair of me to instantly assume the worst of them everytime? but. i donât know#đ
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slippin' and slidin' all over you!
pair: logan howlett x fem!reader
wc: 4k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, sweating, mutual masturbation, sweat licking (i don't know???), not-so-dry humping, p in v, JUST THE TIP RAHHH, creampie, fingering (fem!recieving), oral sex (fem!receiving), come swapping, come eating, literally over four thousand words of pure nasty smut, this is gross lowkey, idk i'm h*rny, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.
natâs note: very much not the winner or even an option of the poll i posted last week but...shhh don't hate me. itâs october and over 80 every single day, what the fuck is that? only good thing that came from this heat is thoughts of nasty sweaty sex with logan. once again shoutout to my wonderful husband @ebodebo for reading this over for me (i successfully changed her vendetta against sucking up some man sweat...which was the real point of this fic tbh) go give her fics some love if you're a slut for ghost! kisses!
logan forgot to fix the ac...
It's too hot out to be alive. 36°C and sunny.
One of the hottest days in recent memory for Alberta, and you're really feeling it.
"Remind me," you say slowly, the first words spoken in almost ten minutes. "How many times did I ask you to fix the air conditioner?"
"Don't start," Logan says from his spot across the room. His head is tipped back to rest on the couch cushion, eyes slipped shut.
You ignore him, lazily rolling your head to the side to look at him through squinted eyes, your brows furrowed in thought. "Was it ten? Or maybe thirteen?"
Logan huffs a breath, slow and heavy, but he doesn't move--doesn't even open his eyes. âI said donât start,â he mutters again, though thereâs the faintest edge of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
"Don't worry baby," you say, voice pitched lower in a terrible impersonation of Logan. "I'll get to it, promise. Wonât get too hot for another couple months."
Logan finally cracks an eye open, just enough to give you a sideways glance, his mouth twitching with amusement. "You done?"
You hum noncommittally, the sound lingering in the air like the lazy summer breeze doing nothing to cool the temperature outside. Your gaze slips down the side of his face to trace the jut of his jaw, then lower to the sweaty column of his neck.Â
Both you and Logan lost most of your clothes earlier in the day, too hot to bother wearing anything but underwear. You trudged around the house like zombies until you finally gave up on trying to be productive, you both ended up in the living room.Â
All the windows are cracked open, trying in vain to let in any cool air. You claimed the armchair closest to the fan, refusing to be anywhere near Logan and the massive heat wave he constantly gives off.
Loganâs on the couch, stripped down to the thinnest pair of sleep shorts youâve ever seen. His chest is bare, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat that mats the dark hair dusted along his pecs to his skin.Â
You canât help the way your eyes follow the drops of moisture that slide slowly down the contours of his abs. A low heat starting to swirl through your gut when it disappears into his happy trail.
It's funny. When you basically peeled yourself off your mattress this morning, sex was the absolute last thing on your mind.
Now, as your eyes glide over the strong expanse of Logan's body on full display, you're having second thoughts.
Maybe it just comes with the heat. That sort of slow, syrupy feeling that slides along your overheated skin to pulse pleasantly between your thighs.
A bead of sweat slides down the length of your spine slowly, falling until it soaks into the damp waistband of your panties. You try to not notice how Logan is halfway across the room, not touching you.
You fail.
âItâs just a shame, though,â you start, fingers idly toying with the hem of your tank top. âIf it was cooler, I could come over there.â
You slide a leg up, letting it rest against the wooden rest, newly exposed skin gleaming under the sunlight filtering in.Â
The move isn't lost on Logan. You see his jaw clench slightly, the tiniest shift in his posture.
"Something you wanted?" Logan asks, his voice going low and teasing. "Looks like you've been gettin' yourself all worked up over there."
âJust thinking,â you reply, shifting slightly on the sticky leather of the chair.
Loganâs fingers twitch at his sides, his chest rising and falling with slow, measured breaths. His eyes slide the rest of the way open, his gaze heavy and lingering as it ventures down to where your thin shirt sticks to your skin, outlining every curve.
âOh yeah?â he prompts, his voice a little rougher now. âThinkinâ about what, baby?â
âYou,â you say easily, fingers slipping down to your thigh. You bring your other leg up, perching it against the opposite armrest. Your thighs spread wide enough that you know Logan has a full view of the wet spot growing along the gusset of your panties.
The hitch in Loganâs breath has you stifling a smug smile, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch the way his chest starts rising faster.
"That's real sweet, sugar," he drawls, an unimpressed look on his face as he drags his eyes back up to your own. "But if you're tryin' to get me over there, you're gonna have to do better than that." His voice slides through the air heavy and warm like molasses.
You bite back a grin, enjoying the slow game that's unfolding between the two of you.Â
"Maybe I donât want you to come over here," you let your fingers trail a little lower, just to the edge of your panties, teasing. âMaybe I like you right where you are.â
Loganâs brow raises, his thighs tensing before he spreads them just a touch wider. The fabric of his boxers goes taut over the strong muscle, riding up to expose even more hairy skin to your greedy eyes.
"You're playin' with fire, kid," he warns.
The tent in his shorts is obvious now, the hard length of his cock pressing against the fabric where it lays across his thigh. Your other hand twitches by your side at just the sight, your pussy throbbing with the sudden need to be filled.
"Am I?" you murmur, your fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your panties, just enough to make sure he knows exactly where this is headed. âItâs not like youâre going to do anything about it, youâre too busy pouting."
With a deliberate slowness, you slide your fingers lower, brushing against your clit with just enough pressure to let out a soft gasp at the contact. You arch your back slightly, relishing in the way the air feels against your skin, hot and sticky.
You want him to see how badly you need himâhow his heat is the only thing that could truly satisfy the insatiable ache building between your legs.
Logan's nostrils flare, jaw tightening and eyes darkening at the sight of you teasing yourself. His restraint is slipping, and you can practically feel the tension building in the room, thick and stifling like the oppressive summer heat.Â
But he still doesnât move, doesnât rush over like you expect him to. Instead, he shifts his hips slightly, spreading his legs wider and letting his hand fall on his thigh.Â
You canât help the way your breath quickens at the sight, the way his fingers drift dangerously close to his own growing bulge, teasing you just as much as youâre teasing him.Â
You tilt your head to the side, gazing at him through your lashes. âYou're really just gonna leave me hanging?â you goad, fingers circling lazily around your sensitive clit. âCome on stud, whip it out.â
Logan chuckles low, a sound that sends shivers through you. "Is that what you want, baby?" he asks, voice thick and taunting, a smirk curling on his lips. âYou want me to whip it out for you?â
âYeah,â you murmur breathlessly, biting your lip as you maintain eye contact, your breath starting to come in short bursts. âI need to see you, Logan. Need to see how hard you are for me.â
âNeed to, huh,â he muses slowly, fingers finally grazing over the hard length of his cock. âWhatâs in it for me?â
âHow about this?â You slip your hand out from your ruined panties, fingers glistening with your own wetness as you hook your thumbs on either side and drag them down your legs.
You let the soaked cotton fall to the floor, leaving you completely exposed to him.
Loganâs pupils dilate, an inky black completely swallowing the warm hazel. He licks his lips slowly, the tip of his tongue running along his teeth like he wants to sink them into you. His cock twitches visibly beneath his shorts, the growing tension in the air between you thick enough to choke on.
âFuck,â he breathes out, his voice low and gravelly, more of a growl than a word.
You smile, shifting in the chair to give him an even better view, your legs spreading wider. "Yeah?" you purr, running your fingers over your slick inner thigh, feeling the heat radiating from your own skin. âYou like what you see?â
Logan swallows hard, his hand finally slipping beneath the waistband of his shorts, palming his cock as he watches you. âYou know I do,â he says, voice rougher than before.Â
You let your hand trail back down to your clit, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles as you hold his gaze. âThen show me, Logan,â you whisper, your voice almost a plea now. "I wanna see you."
Logan lets out a low, rumbling groan, his fingers making quick work of shoving his shorts down enough to free his cock. It springs free to slap lewdly against his stomach and you canât help the moan that escapes your lips at the sight.
He strokes himself slowly to start, his eyes locked on you, watching your every reaction, feeding off the way your chest rises and falls in quick, shallow breaths.
"Like this?" he asks, his tone taunting as he strokes himself from base to tip, his thumb swiping over the head with a low hiss. âThat what you wanted?â
Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, straining and in his hand. The sight of his thumb brushing over the tip of his cock sends a hot, electric pulse through your body, your hand between your legs moving in time with his slow strokes.
"Yeah," you whisper, voice trembling with need. "Just like that."
You slip your hand lower, sliding two fingers inside yourself with a low moan. Logan groans like heâs the one being touched, his hand speeds up, eyes glued to where your fingers disappear in your slick heat.
His cock leaks pre-come over his knuckles each time his fist passes over the dripping head, the wet sound of it mixing with the low hum of the fan and your own breathy sighs.
"You look so fuckin' good like this honey," Logan groans, his voice rough, strained. "All spread out, playing with that pretty pussy for me."
You whimper at his words, your body aching for more than just your own touch. You need him, need the feel of his rough hands on your skin, his mouth, his cockâanything.
Your fingers move faster, slipping deeper inside with each pump, but itâs still not enough. The stretch is nothing compared to taking Logan, to the feeling of him carving a place for his thick cock inside your pussy, hitting that spot inside you that your fingers canât quite reach.
Your hips buck up towards your hand, your back arching off the chair as your free hand clutches the armrest tightly.
Loganâs pace quickens, his fist pumping his cock with a new urgency, heavy balls bouncing with every rough tug.
âGod, look at you, such a needy fuckinâ thingâ he growls, chest heaving as his gaze flicks between your flushed face and the glistening mess youâre making of yourself like he canât decide where to look. âYou want it bad, donât you?â
"Please," you whine, desperation creeping into your voice. Too keyed up to draw this out any longer. âI need you inside me, Logan. I canât take it anymore.â
Logan groans, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest. His hand falters slightly on his cock, squeezing hard around the base as your words push him dangerously close to the edge. His jaw clenches, eyes raking over you, and with a growl, he stands.Â
The last threads of his restraint snapping.
 He crosses the room in two long strides, towering over you where you sit. His cock swollen and hard, sways between his legs with every step, glistening with pre-come that drips to the floor. His eyes, hooded and burning, drink you in as he reaches down, yanking your hand away from your slick heat.
âThought you said it was too hot to move,â you tease breathlessly, unable to quit egging him on even when your legs start to tremble with need, spreading wider to welcome him.
Logan ignores you, tugging your hand to his lips. Your breath catches in your chest, a weak moan escaping you as he takes your soaked fingers in his mouth. His tongue swirling along your skin to taste you, his eyes never leaving yours as he does.
âChanged my mind,â he growls, strong hands rough and possessive as they drop your wrist and haul you out of the chair so he can spin around, collapsing into it with you in his lap. The wood gives a warning creak beneath you but neither of you care.
Not when his mouth is on yours, hot and demanding as he slides his tongue past the seam of your lips. The heat radiating off his body is suffocating, but you welcome itâcraving the weight of him on you.
You melt against him, feeling the hard planes of his body against yours, every inch of him alive and pulsating with need. Loganâs hands find their way to your hips, fingers digging in just enough to send a rush coursing through you.
Itâs intoxicating, the way he devours you, his hands exploring every inch of your back, grasping and pulling you impossibly closer.Â
The hard jut of his cock presses against your thigh, a thick plane of heat that makes your pussy throb with need. You shift your hips, grinding down on him in messy circles.
âYou feel that?â he growls, lips brushing against your ear. âThatâs all for you, darlinâ.â
âNeed you,â you whimper, grinding down against him faster, desperate for the friction that sends pleasure rippling through you. âPlease, Logan, I need you inside me now.â
âHold on, baby,â he murmurs, his voice low and husky, sending sparks all up your spine.
He dips his head, capturing your lips again, while his hands roam hungrily down your sides, fingers curling around your thighs to urge your legs open wider. âYou wanna tease me, youâre gonna have to get off just like this.â
Logan angles his hips so that his cock slips between your drenched folds the next time you roll your own down.
The hot, slick glide sends electric shocks of pleasure racing through you, your body responding instinctively to his touch. You gasp against his lips, fingers tangling in his hair as you push down, desperate for more.
âGod, youâre so fuckinâ wet,â he growls, his voice dripping with lust as he watches your movements with hungry eyes. âJust for me, huh? Sheâs droolinâ just for me.â
You nod breathlessly, chasing the friction, craving the feel of him so close. You lift your hips and rock back down again, the blunt head of his cock brushing against your swollen clit, and you feel your body pulse in response.Â
âMore,â you plead, leaning in to nibble at his lower lip. âI need it.â
Logan pulls away, shaking his head with a wicked grin. âCome on, tough shot,â he says, giving your ass a quick smack and kneading the tender flesh in his hand roughly. âYouâre gonna come like this, you can do it baby.â
You whine, dropping your chin to your chest. Your hands find his shoulders, nails digging crescent moons into the strong muscle. Your chest slips slickly against his, the front of your tank almost entirely soaked with sweat.
Yours or his, it doesn't matter. The white cotton turned transparent enough that your breasts are on full display, nipples hard and visible.
You watch a single bead of sweat make its way down the length of his throat. It trickles down and down and down until it dips between the pronounced muscles of his chest.
You duck your head, dragging your tongue up the valley of his pecs. A deep moan bursts from your lips, pussy drooling more slick over Loganâs cock at the coarse feel of his thick hair on your tongue, at the heady taste of his sweat filling your senses.
Logan groans, hands tightening their hold on your waist. The dull ache his strength leaves behind is enough to let you know that two hand shaped bruises will be blooming over your skin by tomorrow morning.Â
âCome on, girly,â he encourages, nipping at the sweaty column of your throat, the sharp points of his teeth scraping along the sensitive skin deliciously. âFuck me, give it to me good.â
Your hips speed up, his hard cock sliding through the slick folds of your cunt faster. The tip bumps against your clit deliciously with every move, smearing pre-come along the way to add even more to the mess between your legs.
âGonna fuckinâ fill you up,â he groans, breath puffing warm and hot agasint the slick skin of your lips. âPump you so full of my come youâll be leakinâ for a goddamn week.â
He shifts underneath you, the tip of his cock catching on your entrance just enough for it to push inside on the next grind of your hips.
The barely there fullness has you coming with a sharp cry, nails roughly dragging down Loganâs back hard enough to leave red welts that heal as you go.
The pain mixing with the pleasure of finally getting to feel the warm, wet suction of your pussy has Logan coming with a rough shout of your name. He throws his head back, hands tightening their grip on your hips enough to have your bones grinding together as he pumps you full of his come.Â
âLoganâŠâ you mewl, your pussy fluttering over the tip of his cock, greedy little clenches like you're trying to suck him the rest of the way in. Drunk on the way his release paints your insides, how you can feel each thick spray coating your walls to claim you in the rawest way.
Logan pulls back just far enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark and smoldering as he watches you squirm in his lap.
"Youâre not tapping out on me already, are you?" he teases, his voice rough and gravelly. "I thought you were tougher than that."
A weak, breathy laugh escapes you, but itâs cut short when he applies just a little more pressure, making your thighs quiver. "Not tapping out," you manage between shallow breaths, your head falling back against the chair. "But youâreâfuckâyouâre insatiable."
Logan smirks, leaning in to nip at the sensitive skin of your throat, his teeth scraping just enough to send shivers coursing through you.
"When it comes to you, baby?" he murmurs against your skin, the heat of his breath fanning over your pulse point. "Fuckinâ always."
A lazily smile takes over your lips as you tighten your core and push, the rest of Loganâs come leaking out over his fingers. Logan groans, pressing his forehead to your shoulder to try and ground himself.
His cock throbs where it sways heavily between his thighs, still hard and ready to go even after he just came. His hand slips down your body, thick fingers running through the creamy mess of come and slick to messily push it back inside you.
âFuckinâ shit, honey,â he groans lowly, pressing his thumb to your clit. âYouâre gonna kill me.âÂ
Before you can respond, he stands again, gently placing your trembling form back into the chair and dropping to his knees in front of you.
Your breath hitches, legs widening despite the way your pussy shakes with overstimulation, like you canât help but spread your legs for Logan anytime he wants.
Logan smirks up at you from between your legs, his lips already ghosting over the inside of your thigh. "Look at you," he growls, voice low and filled with lust. "Still so needy."
The slick heat of his tongue runs along your folds, lapping at the mess he just made of you. You let out a sharp gasp, thighs trembling as your fingers weave into his hair, tugging him closer.
The sensation is overwhelmingâthe rough, demanding pace of his tongue as it swirls around your clit, teasing you, while his hands grip your thighs with bruising force. Keeping you exactly where he wants you, keeping you spread open for his tongue.
Your body arches off the chair with a loud cry, every nerve alight with raw pleasure as he feasts on you, his growls vibrating against your sensitive skin.
"Fuck! Logan," you moan breathlessly, head falling back as you try to keep up with the sensations he's pulling from you.
The heat that was pooling low in your belly reignites, stoked by the way his tongue flicks faster against your clit, each stroke sending you higher.
Logan doesnât let up, his tongue delving deeper, drinking in every moan, every shaky gasp as he drives you closer to the edge. He moans into your pussy, his own arousal clear in the way his hips buck into the air, seeking any kind of friction.
You tug on his hair harder, desperate for more, for release. "Logan, please," you whimper, your voice barely above a whisper, thick with need.
"Attaâ girl," he rasps, his voice thick with desire as he watches your face contort with pleasure. "So fuckinâ pretty like this. You gonna give me another one, baby? Gonna come for me again?"
Every lick, every rough squeeze to your thighs, every teasing stroke sends you spiraling closer to that edge youâre dying to reach again. You can feel the heat radiating off him, his breath hot against your soaked skin and driving you wild.
âLogan, Iââ You gasp, fingers tightening in his hair, urging him closer, closer, closer. âIâm so closeââ
His eyes flick up to meet yours, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, nose and jaw glistening in your juices.
"Give it to me," he growls, the rough rasp of his voice sending a shiver through your overheated body. "I wanna feel you come on my tongue."
Itâs all the encouragement you need. With a strangled cry, your body tenses, thighs quaking as the orgasm crashes over you.
Logan keeps his mouth on you, tongue working you through every pulse, drawing it out until youâre trembling and gasping, your body boneless in the chair.
When you finally come down, panting and spent, Logan pulls away. With one last kiss pressed over your clit, he makes his way up your body, not dropping eye contact as he settles over you.
His hand comes up to your face, thumbs meanly hooking into either side of your cheeks to gently force your mouth open. You part your lips willingly, the heat still radiating between you, a mix of lingering pleasure.
Logan leans in, and the intoxicating scent of sweat and sex surrounds you as he spits what he collected from between your legs back into your own mouth.Â
Your cheeks burn with shame, a broken moan ringing through the space between you. Your glassy eyes stare into Loganâs, his own gaze so intense and all consuming you fight the urge to squirm.
"Swallow," he commands, unwavering.Â
You hesitate for just a moment, caught off guard by the pure audacity, but the way his eyes darken with hunger makes your resolve crumble. With a breathless whimper, you obey, tasting the remnants of your own pleasure mingling with his, the act both humiliating and intensely arousing.
Logan watches you closely, his gaze never straying as you swallow, a dirty smirk creeping onto his lips. âThat's my girl,â he praises, his tone thick with satisfaction.
As the taste lingers on your tongue, you can feel the weight of Loganâs stare like a physical touch.
âThink you can handle another round?â he teases, his voice low and sultry. âI donât plan on letting you off that easy, kid. Not with all that mouthing off earlier.â
You catch your breath, shaking your head in exasperation. âYouâre relentless,â you whisper, a hint of laughter in your voice, though your body betrays you, already craving more.
âOnly for you, babyâ he replies, brushing the strands of hair plastered to your sweaty forehead behind your ear. âOnly for you.â
tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!
mini nat's note: i started my period today chickens...that explains it...
#â đŻđąđ”đąđđȘđą đžđłđȘđ”đŠđŽ âĄ#áŻâ
đ§đđ'đŹ đ©đđ«đŹđšđ§đđ„ đ„đšđ đđ§ đĄđšđ°đ„đđđ!#natalia cant write anything under 1.000 words#hehe#don't look at me#i can't explain what came over me#but i just needed to write this#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fic#logan howeltt imagine#logan howlett smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine fic#wolverine imagine#wolverine smut#x men x reader#x men x you#x men smut#marvel x reader#marvel x you#marvel smut
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It just turned xmas eve and I'm sitting here grinning like a lunatic at how I described Dove's transformation into demon!Dove, specifically because I really like what I headcanon'd about the letters!
In the climax battle scene of DDD, I gave Dove the same runes that Raven glows with in s4, except I Elaborated. I gave them Purpose besides just Look Cool and Ancient. Excerpt below (DDD, ch20).
--
And when the merging was complete, Raven couldnât believe what she saw.
What had he done to her?
She lifted herself from the dust and stood with a stance so powerful, so confident that Raven couldnât believe it was DOVE under that cloak. The newborn demon stretched, flexing, gathering and astrally caressed the currents of energy â Suddenly she threw the scorched cloak away and revealed an outfit that swept across her curves, skirting her back and shoulders, so provocative it was barely even there; its pieces embraced at her cocked hip and accentuated her battle-ready stance.
So little of that crimson and leathery flesh was hidden, the real Dove would have fled under the covers from embarrassment. But more importantly, more frighteningly, this utterly uncharacteristic outfit revealed messages sewn into her skin like astral battlescars:
Dove was marked with dark scrawls of energy, the epistles burning in activation, scripts to keep his power in her body, runes to channel evil energies ripped from the very cosmos, letters as old as the chaos they channeled were strewn across every inch of her exposed flesh. Warnings on her arm. Triumph flooded down her back. Terms of surrender splashed across her collarbone and met at the four cauterized scars on her chest.
Trigon was gone, sealed within her by the sigil of damnation, and the magic now thriving within her was clamoring for violence - delirious to be unleashed, even as embers of the fading hellfire still lit her skin.
And here was the perfect target.
Doveâs senses, human and preternaturally enhanced, all detected Ravenâs presence. She sensed the signs of heightened emotion: Ravenâs calm mask was strained. She saw the subtle tension in her shoulders, heard her heart pounding a heavier rhythm than it had a moment ago. She felt the slightest shift of blood flow as Ravenâs muscles tensed, preparing for battle at her instinctâs call, and she could feel the air strung tight around her as Raven's powers raged within her, the trained instinct to eliminate the threat, warring with the protectress instinct to not hurt her little sister.
And most satisfying of all, her telepath mind tasted Ravenâs fear, an absolute delicacy whether the fear was for herself or her lost sisterâs soul.
#ddd#rhs stories#rhs personal teen titans#tt headcanons list#(Because this really IS all headcanon; aside from the Mark of Scath we really DON'T know what the fuck it all mEANS)#I don't know how much of those lines about the letters was headcanon power vs. Nexus on both the Raven and the Dove axis...#but gods I'm proud of it WHEREVER the fuck it came from.#I'm also proud that it took me approximately 10 minutes to come up with that many words for ''letters and sentences and words''.#I'm still not sure of the CONNOTATIONS of the word ''epistle'' but I could always slap an ''unholy'' before it if I find out it's unfit.#The punctuation in this chapter is still Under Review (as is demon!Dove's outfit?) but GODS I'm proud of the verbiage!#Doylist: the outfit is to show off the glowing spell words. Obviously.#The energies of it is probably what burned off Raven's clothes.#Watsonian though??? Yeah there's a thing with ''Dove lacks confidence and demon!Dove has too much of it'' but like.#Did I have to SEXUALIZE her to show that? Like. I didn't MEAN it that way; it's supposed to be ''she's proud and doesn't mind showing skin'#but does it come off as fanservice-y or sexualizing or objectifying or equating Showing Skin with Power?#this post brought to you by a zine I just read about One of the LEsser-Flaunted Aspects of my Identity#and it had a really interesting superhero world sort of thing and I forget why it made me think of DDD....? I think I was thinking of likin#the narration style or verbiage choices or something and was like ''I like my own sometimes too. LIKE THE MARKINGS''#--OH I was thinking about Trigon's design and having stripes sometimes for some reason (like Tony the Tiger)#and that made me think of demon!Raven and then demon!Dove.
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Prized Possession
Drabble
Sylus x reader
inspired by this tweet
Sylus was in a bad mood today. You watched him as he stormed out angrily this morning, he was a man on a mission.
âHey boys,â You approached Luke and Kieran.
âMiss!â They both swung their heads around to look at you.
âDo you both mind telling me whatâs up with Sylus today?â You were hoping that his right hand men had some sort of idea of what was going on.
âBoss had his wallet stolen.â Luke said and Kieran nodded.
Just as the boys had said, Sylus had his wallet stolen. Unfortunately for the thief, his prized possession was in there.
Standing in an alley way, his fingers were wrapped in a manâs dirty hair as he sat on his knees in front Sylus. His face was bloodied and his lip quivered as he was at Sylusâ mercy.
âItâs a simple question, really.â Sylus yanked the manâs head back hard and he let out a loud cry.
âFine! Y-yes I stole your wallet.â The man shook as he spoke.
In one motion Sylus loosened his grip and the man fell face first into the ground. Crouching down, Sylus dug his hand into the cowards coat and retrieved his wallet. Opening the black leather pouch, he plucked something small out of it and tucked it into his suit pocket. With a straight face Sylus threw his wallet on the ground infront of the man.
âTake it, since you clearly want it so bad.â
Reading a book in bed, you stayed up waiting for Sylus. He always told you to put yourself first and sleep but you just couldnât until your husband was by your side again. The tall man walked into the room, he made sure he opened the door quietly incase you were sleeping.
âSweetie, youâre still awake.â
Setting the book down on the night stand, you hopped out of bed and walked up to your husband. You wrapped your arms around him in a hug, he did the same. After a moment you pulled away.
âI heard someone stole your wallet today, get it back?â You questioned.
He nodded, âThe wallet wasnât very valuable. I just had to fetch something inside of it first.â
âOh like some secret information or money?â You giggled clearly being sarcastic.
Bringing his large hand to your head, he ruffled your hair.
âSomething like that.â He hummed. âLetâs go to bed, sweetie.â
âSounds good.â You dragged your husband by hand to the bed as you climbed under the covers.
Before changing into his pyjamas, Sylus took the item he obtained out of his jacket and placed it on the bedside table.
There on the nightstand sat a polaroid of you with a large smile as you scooped a bite of a chocolate drizzled sundae into your mouth.
It was his prized possession.
#love and deepspace#lads#sylus#love and deepspace fanfic#lads drabble#lads fanfic#love and deepspace drabble#sylus drabble#sylus fic#sylus fluff#he loves his wife#you are his prized possession#would do anything for his wife#LADS fluff
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Yandere Batfam & Neglected Reader Prt. 3
Finally getting a tiny bit of Bruce's monologue!! And uh oh, looks like you've gotta clock in!
As the car began to move, you couldn't help but feel a growing sense of panic. The tension in the air was palpable, and you could feel the weight of everyone's gaze on you. You tried your best to focus on anything but the Waynes, your mind desperately attempting to process what just happened in the parking lot. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, staring out the window as the city lights blurred past. It was then that Damian decided to break the awkward silence.
âFather, what is the meaning of bringing her along with us?â Damian spoke curtly, disdain marring his voice when mentioning you.
As much as you disliked him as well, he had a point. Why the hell are you sitting here with them?
Bruce glanced at Damian. Truth be told, he didn't quite know why. While you were his child, one out of the only two biological children he had, he had never really had the time or care to acknowledge you. You coming into his life abruptly disturbed everything, so he paid you no mind. Heâll admit, it wasn't fair of him to do so, but he had bigger things to worry about. He was tired, and a child that wasn't involved with his night business, who did not understand what his life of vigilantism took out of him, would never understand the sacrifices that he's had to make. It wasn't until seeing you on the football field, happy, talking to your friends and acting in a way he'd never seen you do, he'd begun to realize what he missed.Â
When did you get so tall? He could have sworn you were no taller than his waist. And when did you join the cheerleading team? And who was that girl throwing her arm around you? Who was that boy? Gods, just how much has he missed?Â
But he couldn't say all of that. So instead he just replied, âShe's a part of this family, Damian and she needed a ride back home.â
He could feel Cassandraâs knowing stare, she could read him better than anybody and she knew the inner turmoil brewing in his heart. That's coupled with Stephanieâs smirk and Dickâs predatory grin. Jason grunted in response, clearly not pleased with the arrangement. Lastly, he could see the disbelief on your face, as if you couldn't believe you'd even be considered part of this family. And heâs mostly to blame.Â
He internally sighed. He'd have to work on that. You were his daughter. His. It was his job to keep you safe and happy. It was his job to make sure you felt loved. And right now? He was no better than Jannet and Jack Drake leaving poor Tim to fend for himself. But that would all soon change, starting with himself and his children.
You on the other hand were still reeling from Bruceâs words. âFamilyâ? Is he fucking kidding or what?
Dick, always the one to break the tension with his charm, spoke up next. "Hey, (Y/n), when did you become a cheerleader? I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff." Dick said with that condescending tone.
Your eyes twitched. You did not like his tone.
âThat's none of your business Dick.â You shot back before you could even think.
Everyone looked your way. Whoops, that was your bad.Â
It was Jasons turn to get upset, âWatch your fucking mouth.â He growled, ever possessive over his older brother.
You immediately froze up, offering a quick and quiet apology before retreating into your own head. JasonâJason scared you more than any of the others. You knew about his pit rage, you knew about the bloody and beaten bodies he's left in the wake of his rage. You knew heâd never dream of hurting his family, the pit often aiding in his possessive tendencies over the rest of the bats butâ you weren't family. And you'd hate to be on the receiving end of Jasonâs wrath.
If anyone had continued talking to you, you wouldnât know. The sound around you was muffled like your head was filled with cotton and you could feel yourself shaking. You wanted out. Now. Thankfully, the rest of the ride was mostly quiet. Sure, everyone would occasionally turn their eyes towards you, making you shrink further in on yourself, but you were almost at the manor. The vehicle barely came to a stop before you were throwing yourself out the door and into the manor. You bid Alfred a quick âgoodbyeâ and âthank youâ before bolting up the stairs and into your room.Â
You locked the door, not that anyone would bother coming up to your room, but still it gave you security nonetheless. You stripped and hopped into the shower, the soreness in your body now making itself known. God it was gonna suck tomorrow. Why? Because it was Friday today, that meant tomorrow would be Saturday, and that meant that you'd have to go to work at the ass crack of dawn, 5 am. Plus, you didn't even have your bike, so youâd have to rely on Alfred to take you and bring you back. Great.
So with a heavy heart and heavy limbs, you tucked yourself into bed ready for the worst sleep of your life.Â
You wake up to the grating sound of your iphone alarm, as you groggily get up to brush your teeth, shower and get ready for the long day ahead. Making your way down for a cup of coffee, sleep still in your eyes, you fail to notice the looming figure of Tim Drake already sipping his own coffee. It was dark downstairs and you were still fighting off exhaustion from the day before, so who could blame you for not seeing the corner of the cabinet. Before you knew it, you were hunched over on the floor grabbing your pinkie toe in pain.Â
âFuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, that hurt! Holy shit, kill yourself, kill yourself! Who the fuck puts a cabinet there, oh my god.â You wailed in pain, cursing at the damn cabinet. Youâd blame it on delirium and exhaustion. Honestly, it was an expected crashout.
You laid pathetically on the floor for a couple of more seconds before you heard a monotone, disinterested voice make itself known.
âAre you done now?â Tim says from behind you.
You yelp in surprise, before clumsily scrambling up and turning around. And there he was, sitting at the counter, coffee in hand and an almost (dare you say) amused look on his face. You blanche. Shit, how long has he been sitting there? Oh god, please don't say heâs witnessed the entirety of your embarrassing crashout?Â
And as if reading your mind, he cryptically answers, âYes, I've been here this entire time.â All while sipping his coffee as his calculating eyes scarily bore into your figure.
You don't know what to say, embarrassed out of your mind, so you just apologize.Â
âRightâum, sorry about that. Iâm just tryna get some coffee. I'll be out your way.â You hastily say before turning, tail tucked back towards the coffee pot.Â
You could still feel the weight of Timâs stare on you but you're too tired and embarrassed to care. You pour yourself a big cup of straight up black coffee and proceed to chug it while walking towards the sink. After finishing it, you proceeded to gag for a few seconds, the bitter taste still permeating your mouth. God you hated the taste of black coffee, but youâd do whatever it takes to not fall asleep on the job. You discard your cup into the sink before you decide to find Alfred, it was 4:37 am and you needed to clock in by 5:00 am or else your ass was grass. You conveniently ignore Tim who has watched all of your misfortune happen this morning. He doesn't say anything when you leave the dining/kitchen area, just eerily watches.Â
God, he made you nervous.
Anyways, your quest to find Alfred was short lived as he seemingly appeared out of nowhere, Damian in tow (you could feel the scar on your face burning). Great, was everyone up at this ungodly hour or was it just them two? You avoided the heat of Damianâs glare as you relayed to Alfred your predicament, apologizing profusely since you did ask him last minute. He simply smiled at you, letting you know that âit is never a hindrance when you need something Master (Y/n).â You smiled back in relief, thanking him once more as Alfred got ready to drop you off.
But of course, Damian just had to break the silence.Â
âWhat could you possibly need to do at this hour? Alfred has better things to do other than encouraging your galavanting.â Damian spoke sharply.
You just sighed, âNot that it's any of your business, but I have work.âYou don't offer any more information as your hand unknowingly caresses the scarred tissue on your face.Â
Damianâs eyes draw to your face at the movement, seemingly fixated on the scar he left on you. He doesnât think much of it, but sometimes, something green and dangerous purrs inside of him. Yes, his mark. It was his mark on your face. As much as he hated you, you were his only other blood-sibling no matter how weak and useless you were. He had bested you, and usually would pay you no mind, you knew your place and would typically remain docile. But recently youâve been showing a new abrasive side, one he is not particularly fond of.
Heâd have to talk to father about it.
Silence permeates the air as he doesnt bother to dignify your disrespect with a response. Youâre saved when Alfred comes back with keys, both you and him rushing to whatever vehicle he's pulled out from the large, large selection of coveted cars Bruce owns. Looks like it's a BMW today. You practically throw yourself in, as Alfred speeds away to the cafe you work at. You arrive at work in record speed, bidding Alfred a âgoodbyeâ before rushing to throw your apron on and clock in.Â
Youâre greeted by the one other person working your shift, Matheo. Heâs a sweet boy, very soft-spoken and mostly sticks in the back near the kitchen to bake the pastries while you work the register. Of course he comes and helps with drink orders when it's particularly busy, heâs too kind to leave you to fend for yourself. Regardless, you have a pretty straight forward agreement, which is what spells your doom. It was a regular Saturday shift, with the pilate moms coming in, middle schoolers loitering, and the occasional customer with an attitude. Everything was fine and dandy till three familiar faces walk in.
You were ever the busy body, finishing one last drink before yelling out a quick âIâll help yâall shortly!â, to whoever just walked in. You quickly rush over to the register, not even bothering to look up from the register.
âSorry âbout the wait! Now what can I get you?â You said in your regular customer service voice.
âWell, well, well, turns out you were right Dami, she does work here.â A chillingly familiar voice jests.
You freeze, slowly looking up only to be met with Dick smiling at you. It was not a kind smile, no, there was something dangerous about it. Behind him, you could see the familiar figures of Cassandra and Damian. What the hell are they doing here? God, you should have never mentioned anything to Damian, now you had to deal with this.
âRâright, what can I get you?â You shakily say, putting back on your customer service persona.Â
Dickâs smile grows, his teeth now visible, almost as if he was baring his teeth. Danger. Something inside you screamed.
âIâll just have a vanilla cold brew, extra cold foam. Dami, Cass, what do you want?â Dick grinns.
âTch, I don't want anything from this place.â Damian says, uninterested.
âCass?â Dick asks, looking at her.
She comes up to the register, giving Dick a one-off-glance. Worryingly, her eyes seem to be fixated on you. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds, holding immensely uncomfortable eye contact with you before relaying her order.
âJust a caramel latte.â Cass says, still looking down at you.
You frantically fill in their orders on the register.
âWill that be all?â You ask. You hoped that was all, you didn't want them spending another minute talking to you.
Dick says a quick cheerful ânoâ before you ring them up and get started with the two drinks. It doesn't take too much time before youâre calling out their names to come get their drinks. You hope they leave right after. But of course, nothing goes according to your wishes as they grab their drinks and seat themselves at a table. Great.
The minutes after result in further disaster. After a couple of more customers, a lady comes up to you, face already molded into a scowl with a half empty drink in her hand. Oh great, a âkarenâ.
âHello maâam, how can I help you?â You kindly say.
âYou! I need a refund. Right. Now!â The lady booms, wagging her finger in your face.
âA refund, right, is there a reason youâre requesting a refund?âÂ
âA reason!? You made my drink wrong and I want my money back!â
âPlease correct me if i'm wrong, but I believe you ordered a double mocha cappuccino, correct?â You ask slowly.
âYes, that's what I ordered! Why are you asking me all these questions?!â
âSorry maâam, but that is the drink I gave you. Is there something specifically wrong with the drink?â
âThe drink that you gave me is wrong, you made it wrong! It doesn't taste anything like regular coffee!â
âOh, well sometimes different cafes use different recipes for the same drink, i think maybe that's whyââ
ââWell I don't care! I want a refund!â
You could feel eyes on you as the other patrons start to notice the commotion brewing.
âMaâam, i'm so sorry but i can't give you a refund, youâve already drank half the drink. If you would have let me know sooner, I could've remade it for you, butâI'm sorry maâam I can't give you that refund.â
âAre you serious! Why I never!? It's always bitches like you who try scamming people out of their money!â
âMa'am, I'm really sorry, it's the company policy. I just work hereââ You gently say, trying to calm her down.
ââGo to hell you bitch!â Is all you hear before youâre doused in the face with warm coffee.Â
You just stand there is shock, blinking through the coffee. There's no way that just happened. Theo, comes out having heard the commotion (albeit a little too late), only to be met with the sight of you covered in coffee.
âOh my gosh (Y/n)! I should have come sooner, are you okay?â
âPeachy.â You say, voice audibly watery and cracking.
âI'll take care of everything up here, you go take some time in the back. Clean up or honestly if you don't feel like it, just rest in the backââ
ââIt's okay Theo, IâI just need a couple of minutes. I'm fine.â
He gives you a quizzical stare.
âI'm fine. I promise.â You smile, although you could feel your eyes starting to water.Â
You hastily walk off to the break room and proceed to cry for a good 2 minutes before deciding to start cleaning yourself up. You do your best to get the coffee that's dried into hair out while wiping down your now sicky arms and face. Changing your apron gets rid of most of the mess, but your shirt underneath still has a couple of large patches of coffee. Sighing, you tidy yourself up as much as possible before heading back to the counter, Theo worriedly waiting for you. You just shoot him a thumbs up and let him know that itâs okay for him to retreat back to the kitchen; he lingers for a moment, hesitant to leave you alone, but drudges back regardless.
There are eyes on you. You look up perturbed, only to find Dick, Cass, and Damian still sitting at their table, sharp stares pinned on your figure. They saw all that happen, didn't they? You mentally cringed.Â
Checking your watch, you realize that there are still four more hours left on your shift. Great, that's greatâjust another four more hours, which is technically thirty minutes eight times, which is technically fifteen minutes sixteen timesâand youâve lost it. Jesus you were losing your mind, which was understandable (honestly you're surprised it hasn't happened sooner) during one of the worst shifts of your life.
Itâs fine. You got this. Just four more hours, and you can have your âMental Breakdown Part â
Ąâąâ.
Tag-list!!:
@sitepathos @ferakillia @uknowimdumb @shycreatorreview @niggrrooo @dhanyasri @cantfindmelol @space1crow @earth-to-mee @rosecentury @yuyuzi-ling @simpingfor-wakasa @bat1212 @sheepintherain @person-from-daaaa-voidddd @resident-cryptid @cupids-pretty-boy @danni1323 @couldeatthatgirlforlunch @erikasurfer @toast-on-dandelioms @hazbinlove @h0neysiba @shycreatorreview @ch1cky-093 @kore-of-the-underworld @krazy-kattzz @ceramic-raven @randomlyappearingartist @bleep-bloops-world @hasty-desert @bellethesleepypotato @lilyalone @delias-stuff @amisupposedtomakesenserightnow @soriansick @vanilliona @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry @vanessa-boo @kitsutsugikuni @mottysith @beeaskewwrites @starsdotalk @yandere-fetish @mybones537 @mochien0tfound @black-swan-blog27 @phoenixgurl030 @meowmeeps @tatsuri-zomushiki @sereinitysmind @l0g0phobe @alias-sam @fairygardenprincesss @chocolatesweetsdestiny @lunaastars
#yandere batfam#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere cassandra cain#yandere bruce wayne#platonic yandere#neglected reader#neglect#yandere Stephanie brown#batfamily#batfamily x reader#batfamily x neglected reader#female reader#fem reader
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đđđđđđ đđđđ đđ? â PBâ”
ౚৠâ summary | request -> "Omg a fic where Paige and reader have always had this sort of sarcastic bickering borderline mean type of relationship/rivalry but one day the tension suddenly just goes from competitive to sexual and thennnnm ykkkk"
â word count | 3.7k
â warnings | NSFW under the cut, read at your own discretion! whoo, where do i begin???? paige/reader being a fucking ASSES (like super mean) and lots of insecurity, cc mention and comparison (pls don't come 4 me it's for the plot!!!!!! i didnt mean it!!!!), lots of arguing and fighting, mean!paige (like.... im talking MEAN), fingering (r receiving), so much dirty talk, idk if i missed anything lmk
â ev's notes | the chokehold the pic in the middle has on me IS INSANE, also finishing a smut at 11 am should be a crime đ (but iâm feeding yall so be grateful)
THE GAME COULDN'T have gone worse.
The opposing team seemed to effortlessly dominate every aspect of the game. Shots that normally found their mark clanked off the rim, passes were intercepted with unnerving frequency, and the defense resembled more of a sieve than a fortress. Your entire team was quiet in the locker-room and Geno had told them that they needed the night to regroup, and they'll talk about it when they got home.
You made your way upstairs with Azzi and Aubrey, both trying their best to make you feel better. You played like shit, plain and simple and despite what your teammates were telling you, it was true.
You couldn't shake off the feeling of letting your team down. In the game, you were a shadow of your usual self. Your shots seemed to lack both the usual power and precision. Your attempts to drive to the basket were easily thrown by their defense, leaving you frustrated and angry.
Even your usually reliable defense broke under the pressure. You found yourself out of position more often than not, leaving gaping holes for the opposing team to exploit. Your reactions were slow, your movements sluggish, as if your body refused to respond to the commands of your mind.
"Hey," Azzi grabbed your arm so that you could meet her gaze. "We win and lose as a team, alright? This isn't all on you, we all played like shit tonight."
"But we always come back, Y/N." Aubrey added as you met her gaze as well. Their words would've made you feel better if this wasn't the worst you'd played all season, maybe even your entire college career.
You didn't bother to respond, you stayed quiet as you walked in your Azzi's hotel room and in there was Nika and Paige. They were seated on the bed, Nika looking more defeated than Paige, she looked more pissed than anything.
Paige didn't even acknowledge you as you walked in as she greeted Azzi and Aubrey, but you didn't even care right now. You were not in the mood for her shit, not after the game you just played tonight.
You sank into a chair in the corner of the room, the weight of the defeat pressing down on you like a leaden blanket. Nika's defeated expression mirrored your own feelings, while Paige's indifference grated on your already frayed nerves.
You listened as Azzi and Aubrey exchanged small talk with Nika and Paige, their voices a distant murmur in the back of your mind. But you couldn't bring yourself to join in the conversation, couldn't muster the energy to plaster on a fake smile and pretend that everything was okay.
Instead, you sat in silence, lost in your own thoughts. The events of the game replayed in your mind like a nightmare, each mistake magnified in the harsh light of hindsight. You wanted nothing more than to forget about the game, to push it to the back of your mind and move on, but the sting of defeat lingered like a stubborn stain.
"You okay, babe?" Nika's voice rang out as you got pulled back into reality. All the girls attention was now on you, feeling a bit self-conscious.
You forced a weak smile, attempting to brush off Nika's concern. "Yeah, just... processing everything, you know?" Your voice sounded hollow, even to your own ears.
"What's going on?" Nika asked, the concern evident in her face. "Talk to us, please, Y/N."
Nika knew how hard you were on yourself, she had seen you weather victories and defeats alike, always striving for perfection. Her gentle prodding encouraged you to open up, even if it meant admitting your own vulnerabilities.
"I played like shit," was all you could get out as you leaned forward, feeling their gaze on you. "I don't know what was so different about tonight but I just felt like the weight of the entire team was on my back and I didn't know I was carrying it until the end, and I just crumbled to the pressure."
"We all have our moments, Y/N." Azzi spoke up, empathy evident in her expression. But before anyone else could respond, Paige scoffed as she met your gaze.
"Carried the team? We all did what we could tonight and we don't need your shit." Paige's voice dripped with contempt, her words like a slap in the face.
You felt a surge of anger rising within you, fueled by the frustration of the game and now mixed by Paige's bitter words. How dare she dismiss your struggles so callously?
"What's your fucking issue, Paige?" you retorted, your voice tinged with frustration.
Paige's eyes narrowed as she glared at you. "My issue? Maybe if you didn't choke every time the pressure was on, we wouldn't be in this mess," she shot back, her words cutting like a knife. "You're always making excuses for yourself, Y/N."
You scoffed, getting up from the chair to glare at her. "I'm not making excuses, I'm acknowledging reality. We all had a bad game, Paige. It's not like you were lighting it up out there either."
"I did better than you, that's for fucking sure." Paige's voice came out bitter as you felt yourself let out a quiet scoff. You couldn't fight with her anymore, you were exhausted, both mentally and physically.
"Guys, stop it." Azzi's voice cut through the tension like a knife but neither of you acknowledged her, you both just kept glaring at each other.
"You're a bitch, Paige. You're just jealous because at the end of the day, you're just a burnt out star who can't handle not being in the spotlight anymore. Sorry that Caitlin's out there doing better than you, and that you feel the need to be a fucking ass all the time," you retorted, your words dripping with venom.
The frustration of the game, mixed with years of simmering animosity, boiled over into this heated argument that neither of you seemed willing to back down from. You didn't know why you brought up Caitlin, but all you knew was that you'd definitely get a reaction.
Paige's eyes flashed with anger, her jaw tightening as she glared up at you. "The fuck you have to bring Caitlin into this? At least I was a star, you'll never make into the WNBA with that attitude, I promise you that. You're just a selfish brat who can't handle criticism-"
"Hey!" Nika's shout rang out as she glanced in between the two of you. "One more word from either of you and I'm telling Geno, you guys are teammates and you need to act like it."
You glanced at Nika, seeing the disappointment etched on her face, and then back at Paige. Despite the rivalry between you, you knew that Nika was right â however, you weren't quite ready to admit that.
You scoffed as you exhaled, feeling everyone's eyes on you. You didn't acknowledge any of them as you left the hotel room, feeling your eyes burn with unshed tears. You were embarrassed, Paige had always been hard on you for seemingly no good reason but it's never gotten this bad.
You two had always been good sports, even when the other played like shit. She never brought anything up that would actually hurt your feelings, unlike tonight. You didn't know why, you tried to think back at what could've changed tonight but came up with nothing that made sense. You just hoped it wouldn't affect the way you played with her, you didn't want it to effect the team more than it has.
You walked into your hotel room, locking the door behind you as you walked into the bathroom, ready for a warm shower to drown out the rest of the world.
ââ
"Who is it?" You asked as you heard the knocking on the door. It was nearing two in the morning and you had just stepped out of the much-needed shower, clad only in your robe.
"It's me," Paige's voice was quiet as she spoke, your whole body tensing up just at the sound. You sighed deeply as you walked up to the door, opening it to reveal a slightly disheveled Paige.
She looked really, really good; she had her hair up in a loose bun, her gray sweats were slightly rolling off her hips and her shirt fit her just perfectly. Goddamnit, Y/N â focus. You tried to hide the tug of attraction you felt towards Paige, pushing the distracting thoughts aside as you met her gaze.
"What do you want?" you asked, your tone guarded as you leaned against the doorframe.
"Let me come in," Paige's statement didn't come off as a question, more like a demand. You sighed and leaned backward so that she could enter.
Before you could say anything, Paige started talking. "I don't appreciate you comparing me to Caitlin, especially after the season I had."
You scoffed in disbelief as you closed the door. "You came in here just to say that?"
Paige turned so she could send you a glare. "I came in originally cause I was gonna apologize. But then I remembered the whole Caitlin thing-"
"What's up with you and Caitlin?" Your words came out with the same intensity as hers did. "I don't know why you took that comment to heart because you started this whole damn thing."
Paige's expression hardened, a defensive edge creeping into her demeanor. "What do you mean by that?" she snapped, her tone sharp with irritation. "I had the most terrible season, and everyone has been comparing me to her-"
You felt a surge of frustration rising within you, the tension between you and Paige reaching a boiling point. "And what about everything I've been through this season?" you shot back, your voice tinged with anger. "You think this season has been a cakewalk for me? You think I don't know what it's like to struggle?"
Paige's jaw clenched, her gaze hardening as she met yours head-on. "This isn't about that," she retorted, her voice low and tense. "This is about you and Caitlin suddenly being all buddy-buddy after the Iowa game. The comments under your posts, the calling and the texting. It's obsessive and annoying, I don't like it and I don't want you hanging around her anymore."
You paused for a second, trying to process her words. Paige's accusation caught you off guard, the weight of her words sinking in like a lead weight in your chest. Was she jealous? You couldn't help but let out a small laugh as Paige's eyebrows furrowed.
"The fuck you laughing for? You think this is funny?" Paige's eyebrows furrowed even further, her frustration palpable as she waited for your response.
"Aww, are you jealous?" Your words came out amused as Paige kept glaring at you. "I'm not replacing you or the team, she has a boyfriend."
"I'm not jealous," Paige's glare intensified, her jaw tightening with frustration at your teasing remark. "Don't flatter yourself, Y/N. I couldn't care less about your little fling with Caitlin."
"Then what's your problem?" you pressed, unable to resist the urge to push her buttons further. "If it's not jealousy, then why are you so worked up about it?"
Paige's nostrils flared slightly as she averted her gaze for a moment, before looking back up at you. "Cause it's no damn comparison. At the end of the day, you're on my team and you're mine," she paused as she shook her head. "My friend," she quickly clarified.
You blinked in surprise at Paige's sudden intensity, the weight of her words sinking in like a heavy anchor. The possessiveness in her tone left you feeling flustered, unsure of how to respond.
"Paige..." you began, your voice trailing off as you struggled to find the right words. But before you could even process anything, her lips were on yours and your back was pushed up against the wall.
Instinctively, your arms found their way around her shoulders, pulling her closer as you responded to her kiss with equal fervor. The heat of the moment consumed you, erasing any doubts or reservations as you lost yourself in the sensation of her lips on yours.
Her lips on yours sent a shiver down your spine, electrifying every nerve in your body as you surrendered to the passion that consumed you. All thoughts of the past were forgotten as you gave yourself over to the intoxicating enticement of Paige's lips.
Her hands slide up your body and hold your neck as you let out a soft whimper, causing your head to fall back against the wall. Paige's lips began leaving open-mouthed kisses all over your jaw and neck, as her hands explore your body.
This couldn't be happening, you kept thinking to yourself. After playing on the same team as Paige for almost three years now, it felt like this was a fever dream â but you didn't mind it, not at all.
Her lips found yours again, kissing you roughly as your hands gripped her head. With ease, she lifted you up into her arms, your weight feeling insignificant against her strength. She kept her lips on yours as she carried you toward the bed, dropping you swiftly as your hands found her face.
Paige's hands had easy access to your body due the robe, that she quickly slid off as her lips stayed on yours. She pulled away for a second, breathless, as she took in your body with admiration in her gaze. You felt self-conscious for a moment, but you had no time to dwell on it as Paige pulled you down on the bed.
"You're fucking gorgeous," she mumbled as she pressed kisses all over your neck. "I hate how gorgeous you are."
Your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions as Paige's words and actions washed over you. Part of you wanted to resist, to question the sudden intensity of this moment, but another part of you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry between you and Paige.
But as her lips trailed along your neck, you found yourself unable to resist the pull any longer. With each kiss, each touch, you felt yourself unraveling, giving in to the utter need that surged through your body.
"I hate how you make me feel," Paige whispered against your skin, her voice husky with desire. "Every time I'm near you, it's like I lose control. Like I can't think straight."
Her words sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a fire within you that burned brighter with each moment. You reached up to cup her face, guiding her lips back to yours in a desperate kiss, hungry for the taste of her against your skin.
You reached out to her, your fingers tangling in her hair as you pulled her closer, unable to resist the magnetic pull that drew you together. "I hate how much I want you," Paige groaned, her voice tinged with frustration as she pressed her lips against your neck with force, pulling a soft whimper from your lips.
"I hate how much I need you," Paige spoke as she gazed into your eyes, her grip tightening on your waist as she pulled you closer. "But I'm not gonna fight it anymore. I'm done pretending like I don't want you, okay?"
You felt a rush of heat flood through you at her confession swirling in the pit of your stomach. In that moment, all you could think about was Paige completely, letting her consume you with her passion and desire.
"I want you, too, P." You finally let out, your voice quivering as she began to caress your thigh.
Paige scoffed, shaking her head at your words. "I know, I know you do."
She pushed her lips into yours again, a needy moan escaping your lips as she pushed you onto the bed. She straddled your hips as she kissed all over your neck, feeling yourself pulsate beneath her. You couldn't even think straight anymore, your mind was complete mush as she kept kissing all over your neck and jaw.
Paige mouth traveled down toward your stomach, leaving sloppy kisses and hickeys all over it. Your hands found her blonde hair, tugging as she teased you. Her blue eyes were completely focused on you, every reaction and every sound that you made, fueling her desire even further. With each kiss, each touch, she seemed determined to leave her mark on you, to brand you as hers in every way possible.
And you welcomed it, craving the intensity like a starving soul. With each tug of your fingers in her hair, Paige responded with a groan of satisfaction, her lips and tongue leaving a trail of fire across your skin.
She pried open your legs slowly, her gaze still lingering as your breath hitched. "Fuck," she mumbled as her eyes flickered toward your soaking cunt â she was at a loss for words.
Paige fingers teased your entrance, pulling needy whimpers from your bruised lips. "You're so wet for me, baby," she finally plunged a finger into you, causing a borderline pornographic moan to leave your mouth.
Every sensation was heightened, every touch sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body as she thrusted her finger in and out of you. She wasn't gentle by any means, you could practically feel the anger radiating from her body as she watched you.
You leaned further into the bed, covering your face with your arms as a string of moans left your mouth. Almost immediately, Paige gripped your arm and pulled it off of your face. "I want you to look at me while I fuck you, alright?"
You couldn't reply with any words, you weren't even sure you were conscious at this point â the exhaustion from the game, the anger from the earlier argument and now the utter pleasure of you were feeling was fogging up your brain, you couldn't even think straight anymore; all you could do was sit there and take it.
You tried your best to keep your eyes on her, but you felt yourself slipping as you arch your back. She added another finger, causing a new sensation jolting down your body â you hadn't even orgasmed yet and you feel beyond overstimulated.
"Does Caitlin do this better than me, huh?" She mumbled as she leaned forward to press a sloppy kiss to yours lips. "Fucking answer me," she groaned as she pulled away.
You shook your head fervently, the only words you were really understanding were "Caitlin" and "better". Her movements became faster and deeper with your answer, causing another loud moan to slip out of your lips.
"Fuck, please," you cried out as you leaned back into the bed. Paige quickly pulled you down by your hips, making sure to pin you down as she continued to finger-fuck you. "Please,"
"So polite, baby. Fucking three years, it took me three years to realize that they only thing you needed was a good fuck for you to be nice, huh?" She spoke harshly as she felt you tighten around her fingers, your face contorting into utter pleasure as you shut your eyes. "Now I know whenever I need you to shut up, all I need to do is fuck you, right baby?"
Her words all blurred in your mind as she began rubbing your clit, and you were cumming all over her fingers â the knot snapped hard, you were crying out so loudly, Paige was worried the neighbor's were gonna call the office.
She helped you ride your high as you caught your breath, before she pulled out her sticky fingers from your cunt. Before you could even process it, she stuffed them inside your mouth roughly as her blue eyes analyzed you.
You sucked them clean as you finally came back down to Earth, finally (kinda) being able to think straight. You were breathless, your legs were shaky and you were sweaty all over again. You finally opened your eyes to meet Paige's eyes, your heart almost jumping out of your chest at the look of utter admiration on her usually disinterested face (at least, when it came to you).
Before either of you could revel in the moment any longer, Paige's phone began to buzz in her sweatpants. She sighed loudly before picking it up, "What's up?"
You could recognize Nika's voice as she spoke but you couldn't quite understand what she was saying. However, when Paige's expression turned cocky as she took another look at you, you had a couple ideas on what it could be about.
"Yep, we made up. We're fine now, don't worry. Yeah, we're good, y'all can head to bed," she nodded along with whatever Nika was saying, a cocky ass smirk on her lips.
"You wanna talk to her? You sure?" Paige took a look at your disheveled appearance, laughing as your eyes went wide. Before you could protest, she handed you the phone. "Here you go,"
"Hey, babe," she spoke softly through the phone. "I made P go and apologize, I hate seeing you fight like this and-"
Her voice slowly became background noise as Paige leaned back into the bed, pulling you into her chest. Your heart began beating out of your chest as you relaxed into her embrace.
"-And I just love you guys, okay? Y/N, you still there?"
"Y-yeah, sorry. I'm just sleepy, we love you too, Nika," you got out as Paige smirked at you.
"Okay, okay," Nika replied, her voice filled with genuine affection. "Get some rest, okay?"
You said your goodbyes before handing the phone back to Paige, who ended the call with a satisfied grin. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at Paige, only she would fuck your brains out then make you answer the phone.
You laid on her chest quietly as she pulled the blanket over your body, pulling you even closer. You guys sat in silence, both of you knew there was a lot of debrief â however, both of you were too tired to bring it up.
"I'm sorry for bringing up Caitlin, that was a bitch move," you began as you closed your eyes, getting comfortable beside Paige.
Paige's hand gently traced patterns on your back as she sighed softly. "No, I'm sorry too," she murmured, her voice filled with sincerity. "For being a bitch, and saying all that stuff about you not making it into the WNBA,"
"I know you didn't mean it," you mumbled as you felt yourself drift off into sleep. Paige leaned over slightly to turn off the lights, and you both slowly drifted off the sleep.
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#paige buckets#paige bueckers x reader#paige x reader#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers fic#uconn huskies#uconn wbb#uconn womenâs basketball#wcbb#wbb x reader#wcbb x reader
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there's trouble in paradise. but lucky for you, your other half would do anything for you. anything. (arranged-husband!simon x fem!reader)
previous part (recommended read, but not required)
cw: reader is described as plus-sized/curvier, dark!reader, dark!simon, unhealthy relationship dynamics (both of you are so fucked up inside), horror movie vibes, themes of obsession + possessiveness + psychopathic behavior, military criticism, mature language and content, graphic depictions of murder + violence, mentions of simon's canon trauma, voyeurism, smut, piv, cumplay, oral (fem!receiving), breeding kink 18+ (this piece is very dark and includes the encouraged murder of someone innocent -> read at your own discretion)
if simon is anything, it is that he's...unpredictable. except for how he spends his mornings.
you close your eyes when you feel his warm hand on your jaw. your head tilts back, and you part your lips, knowing what will come. your hear the shuffle of fabric, and then you're kissed, a sloppy kind of kiss, a harsh tongue slipping into your mouth and tracing your teeth.
it's aggressive, his kiss. he doesn't try to savor the taste, he just takes. his teeth hit yours sometimes, but he doesn't apologize. just cradles your head in a different direction and continues to shove his greedy tongue down your throat.
you chase him when he pulls away. he chuckles, the bastard, and when you open your eyes, he stands tall behind where you sit. you smile up at him, opening your mouth obediently, and you take two of his fingers and suck. the pads of his fingers press against your tongue, and you lap at the callouses. it feels good to be full of him, in any way he will give.
you like having some part of him inside of you, always. it makes you feel whole. complete. incredibly satisfied, a cup full of liquid, blood touching your tongue.
"good morning," simon murmurs, glaring down at you almost. if you didn't know him, you'd take his expression for ire, but you know it's just the intensity of whatever sits in his chest. "worried when y'weren't in bed."
you flutter your lashes, and simon palms at your throat, bending lower. you want to nibble on his scarred bottom lip, but he holds you at such a length to keep you away. you pout a little.
"don't do tha' again," he tells you. it is a warning. someone else might take this too literally, too harshly. as if he was commanding you, and he is, sort of, but they wouldn't understand. no one would understand. "y'hear?"
you nod.
"sorry," you whisper, letting his fingers go and kissing them softly. "couldn't sleep...didn't wanna wake you."
he sniffs. he doesn't like what he hears.
"and wot do i always say?" he asks. "hmm?"
you smile a little, looking away, bashful. "that...that i can have whatever i want."
"tha's right."
you giggle, standing from your seat, turning and wrapping your arms around his neck. he picks you up from the fat of your hips, hoisting you onto the kitchen table with ease. he knocks your knees apart, stepping between them, and you cup his cheeks to kiss him easily.
"tell me," he commands. "tell me wot's on y'r mind."
you sniffle, dragging your knuckles down his masked cheek. you nuzzle your nose into his, closing your eyes, and he leans into you, wanting more. he reads you well. there isn't a flicker in your eyes that he wouldn't catch. he's too perceptive, too observant, too in-tune with what you are, which is his. it relieves you, in a way. you don't have to lie because he will always catch your dishonesty.
"how come..." you bite your lip. "y-you told me i shouldn't call you. when you're away. s-so...so i send letters to base. but...you never respond."
he tilts his head to the side, cupping the back of your neck. when he finds your eyes, he keeps them, steadying you with a firm grip.
"wot letters?"
you pull back a little, blinking up at him.
"i...i send you a letter. e-every day that you're gone. i-i...i send it to you."
he shakes his head, "swee'eart, i've never gotten a letter."
you swallow, smoothing your hands down his chest. you frown a little, looking down.
"oh..." your heart eases a little. "i...i thought you were ignoring me."
"probably just some bloke tha' doesn't know m'name," simon soothes you. "would never ignore ya. and y'know the number to call in an emergency, but i suppose 'm glad tha' you've never had ta call."
you meet his eyes. dark. purposeful. focused.
"i can take care of myself."
the letters never arrive, even after you double check their address. you show it to him the next time he comes home, the back of the envelope with the address scribbled onto it, and all he does is shrug.
"tha's me, luv," he mutters, pushing the letter aside, hoisting you up against the wall as he kisses you hungrily. "now open up," he growls, shredding your panties with a tight fist as he fucks into you eagerly. "oll f'me, missed y'r cunt..."
simon is nothing if he isn't an insatiable animal. every time he comes home, he fucks you until your vision is nearly permanently blurred with tears and your brain is defiantly turned off. he fucks you dumb, in every sense, and you think he enjoys the way he swipes your drool with a big thumb and sucks it into his mouth with a groan. maybe it tastes different, when you're brainless from another orgasm and saying things that aren't coherent, hips canted up as he continues to pound into you from behind.
but you adore it. you love it. you love him.
it's visceral, what you feel inside. it tears at something delicate. whenever you look at him, you can't help the smile, even if it's small. the way he makes you feel when you look into his eyes--it nearly chokes you. neither of you ever last long. someone always breaks the moment, moving until you are near so that you can kiss feverishly.
you both scramble to be together. when he comes home, he always attacks you as soon as the front door smacks against the wall. you've fucked numerous times on the floor in the foyer, too eager to welcome him back when he goes for weeks on end to even make it to the couch. you love when he practically tackles you to the floor, throwing you down as he gets between your legs, big hand cradled into your hair so it doesn't smack against the hardwood floor. the gesture is so sweet that it makes your eyes tear, even if he's biting at your tits so hard they nearly draw blood.
simon would do anything for you. there is nothing that crosses a boundary, no request that he would not fulfill, no crime he wouldn't commit. he's disgusting, a right prick bastard that you know would enjoy skinning the backs of someone's hands just for your very own amusement. you wouldn't call him a dog--a proper dog respects authority, acts loyal and good and cowers when they have done something wrong.
simon doesn't always listen to you, not really, you don't think he really listens to anyone. but everything he does, he does knowing it is what's best for you. he takes care of you, especially when you're too cock-dumb to make any right-minded decision. he's the center of gravity, and you are his, bringing each other back into balance when you get knocked off kilter. sometimes, this balance requires a sacrifice.
simon is all too willing to give one.
you don't blame him for that. the wiring in his head, it's a little fried, a little frayed. it isn't his fault. he's seen torture. been through it. watched comrades die, tasted his own blood and that of someone else's. he's seen the insides of someone, watched it protrude from the holes in their bodies, sometimes from his own hand. he's just a little rough around the edges, just a little scarred.
no one likes to talk about the fact that servicemen like simon are glorified serial killers. you understand this fact, and you know that if you explained it to simon, he would probably agree with you. but instead of acknowledging the reality of it, you think he might smile. he is given permission by his country, by his king, to kill under the guise of international security, for the common good.
what would we not do to protect our homeland from terrorism and warfare? what necks would we not snap? what blood would we not shed? what would we not do to protect the places where our wives lay their heads and our children play their games?
that is how he would justify it to you. he'd tell you not to worry, that heaven is an idea made up by weak men who don't have the strength to do something about their foe.
you would believe him, if he said that to you. you would smile back at him, kiss him soft, and let him fuck a baby into you just to shut you up.
but this wouldn't change a thing. it wouldn't change what he is. it wouldn't make him any less a murderer, any less a man that takes what he wants. he has a heavy hand, not just in combat, but with you. he does not ask permission, but it wouldn't matter; fortunately, you have the same disgusting urge inside of you, and you practically beg him to take from you.
although, there is one thing that separates you from him. you might carry the disease--the one that makes you indifferent to his violence, his past, his trauma, his crimes. but you don't carry the execution of it. you've never killed anyone. you've never held a gun. sometimes, when someone parks a little too close to your car, you think about what it would be like to put their head behind your tire and reverse over it, but nothing you ever do leaves the horror of your mind.
you are positively boring in that sense. lieutenant simon riley's picture-perfect good girl, his lovely wife. the one that lets him voice his horrendous crimes and sleeps just as peacefully as before because of it. no one would ever know that he's murmured in great detail about how he tortured his latest target, telling you about how he screamed quite loudly when he picked his fingernails off but was rather quiet when he carved tally marks into his forearm.
"was he, baby?" you whisper, sucking soft on the stubble around his jaw. he palms your ass gently, satisfied when he feels the way his cum drips between your folds and wets his hand. he nods, shrugging.
"fuckin' muppet. deserved wot he got."
"i know he did," you agree, nodding, reaching down and starting to pump his length, still wet from your cunt. you mewl when he starts to harden immediately, the blood rushing to his cock as you fondle his balls. "now tell me how much you missed me again..."
it isn't your fault that he gets you this wet just by talking about his aggression. it can't be. it's primal...instinct. ghost is a protector, and you are his wife--you like thinking about what he might do just to keep you safe.
you like thinking about what he might do just to keep you happy.
but you're not happy. he's gone for three weeks this time, a long stretch that leaves you a little lonely and a little on edge. you send him your letters, writing every day about how quiet it is at home, about how alone you feel and how much you miss the space he takes up in your bed. you even miss the amount of food he consumes--you're so used to cooking enough to feed four proper people just for him to scarf it all down and eat your cunt to tell you how grateful he is.
you haven't really been on base since you married; you spent a few weeks there right afterwards, in and out of his bed, practically attached to simon by the hip. it's been a long while since then. he bought you a little flat in london and gave you a nice sleek credit card, and that was that. simon doesn't care for you to spend much time on base. he thinks you too pretty and complains under his breath that you're a distraction, which you are. you're always so caught up with how hot he looks working that you end up underneath him more often than not; simon prefers you at home so he doesn't lose all his fucking energy trying to keep up with you.
you roll down your window, flashing your license at the officer there. he clicks a flashlight on, looking at it, and he swallows hard when he sees the last time there.
riley.
"afternoon, ma'am," he tells you with a nervous smile. "your husband, looks like he isn't here, he's--"
"i know where he is," you interrupt. "but he'll be back soon. just some housekeeping i need to do." you tilt your head to the side. "i don't have to call the lieutenant and tell him you're refusing me, do i?"
"n-no, ma'am."
you slam the door shut after you park, eyeing the motorcycle a few parking spots away. you sigh, clenching your jaw, before swinging your purse over your shoulder and straightening out the front of your jeans. you told him not to ride that fucking thing, the big dummy.
you pass through the offices first, and when you get nearer to where captain price and your husband sit, you stop in your tracks when you see a new little desk set up there.
there's a woman sitting there.
she's got a corded phone held between her ear and her shoulder, and she's writing on a sticky note rapidly, nodding her head as she talks to someone quietly. you tilt your head to the side, watching her, and your lip twitches just enough when she hangs up the phone and stands to put a few files away in a cabinet.
she's wearing a tiny little skirt and stockings, and you run your tongue over your teeth when you get a glimpse at the garter belt she's wearing underneath. you follow the line of her long legs to her kitten heels, and then back up to the blouse and blazer she wears. she turns around, adjusting her sleeves, and you straighten your back when you can see the lace of her black bra underneath the white blouse.
cause who the fuck wears a black bra under white at work?
you adjust your purse over your shoulder and make your way down the hallway, ignoring her as you stop in front of simon's office and look for the key on your key ring.
"oh! excuse me--excuse me!"
you stop looking for the key, turning over your shoulder. the woman is getting up from her seat, hurrying over. she's a tiny little thing, bouncing over to you with an exacerbated face.
"hey--excuse me," she puts a hand on the door. "you can't go in there."
you raise a brow.
"oh, really? why's that?" you ask. she looks you up and down a little, her smile fading a little.
"well...lieutenant riley doesn't like it when people are in his private space. and there's classified material in there, so i'll need to verify if you have the right security clearance."
she twirls a soft curl around one of her fingers, and you flash her an irritated smile.
"oh, well, i'm sure he won't mind if i go inside," you tell her, turning back. you finally find the right key, fitting it into the lock.
"hey--hey! you can't go in there! i'm serious, i'll call security," she huffs. you laugh, turning to face her as you push the door open.
"oh, go ahead," you murmur, stepping closer. you're about the same height, but her eyes are no match for your own. she's alive inside, and you are not. there are places that you can go that she would never come back from, and she flinches a little when she meets your eyes intensely. "in fact, i dare you to call security."
you drop your purse on simon's desk, rounding it and taking a seat in his chair. you open one of the drawers, rummaging through it, and you roll your eyes a little when you find a pack of cigarettes that simon had said he'd thrown out. strike two already.
lying bastard.
you're still rifling through the drawer when the office door bursts open. you recognize one of simon's sergeants, kyle, huffing his chest as he looks around the room with a glare. the woman is behind him, her arms crossed over her chest and making her breasts comically pushed up towards her chin, her eyes narrowed at you. when kyle sees you, he immediately snatches his cap off his head and takes a step back. his posture changes, his back straightening up as he assumes a near soldier-stance.
"fuck, sorry, ma'am," he murmurs. "i didn't mean to barge in that way, i--"
"it's alright, kyle," you say softly, smiling a little. "something i can help you with? simon isn't here right now."
the woman steps back, confusion on her face, and she hides doorway now, out of your sight.
"no," kyle gives you a polite, nervous smile. "apologies again."
you shake your head and shrug, standing up to go close the door. you poke your head out, and she's sitting at her desk again, her expression a little wobbly as she looks up at kyle and uses her hands as she speaks, looking utterly mortified.
"--how was i supposed to know that? she didn't introduce herself--"
"look, you just better hope she doesn't tell him about this. fuckin' kiss her arse or somethin', for fuck's sake," kyle mutters, shaking his head, and you smile to yourself as you close the door completely.
it's a few hours later, while you're smoothing a hand over a report simon has written, when the door opens. you look up from the desk, smiling immediately.
there he is.
simon cocks his head to the side, and you eye the flex of his fists in his gloves. he clicks his tongue, pushing his hood off, and you giggle when he narrows his eyes at you. he's being playful, and you stand, rounding the desk as you hurry towards him.
"well wot's this 'ere?" he chuckles, and you squeal when you jump up, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing kisses to his masked mouth, over and over again. he catches you easily.
"simon--" you thumb at his cheeks, letting out a shaky breath, and you laugh when he fists both sides of your ass, squeezing your arse in the nice denim jeans you're wearing. he hums lowly, nosing at your jaw.
"wot are y'doin' 'ere?" he murmurs, reaching up to cradle the back of your head gently with one hand. you kiss him again, feeling how warm his breath is through the mask. you close your eyes, sniffling a little.
"missed you," you whisper, massaging the nape of his neck and pressing your face into the chest of his tact vest. simon rubs at your scalp gently, soothing you.
"y'know i don't like when y'r 'ere," he mutters, and you squeeze him tighter.
"i know," you sigh. "i know...i know, i just...i-i..." you pull back to look up at him. "i-i know, i just...i--"
"'s olright," he quiets you. "not mad." he presses his mouth to your forehead, kissing it gently, and you close your eyes again. "fancy a cuppa while i debrief, swee'eart?"
"...better hope she doesn't tell him about this..."
you lean up on your toes to get closer to him, fitting your thumbs under his mask and pushing it up so you can get a good kiss. he smirks before your lips meet his, and you sigh with relief when he slips his tongue into your mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, and normally you'd tell him off for it, but instead you keen when he squeezes the back of your neck, and you open your mouth wider for him. he takes full advantage, sliding his tongue over yours before sucking on it briefly. his hand palms at the plush space between your thighs, but he knows better than to touch you right away since he's still at work. if he goes any further, he'll have some explaining to do about his punctuality.
"i love you," you whisper when he pulls away. he kisses you again, just beside your mouth, and then he grins wide.
"sit, luvvie," he mutters, nodding to his desk. "won't be long."
it doesn't bother you that he never says it back. he does love you, in his own way. he never says it, but you know it's true.
you know it.
he takes your hand, guiding you over to his desk, not letting go of you until you're sitting. he winks, catching a few fingers under your chin before making his way out. you sigh, watching him from behind, your eyes raking over his broad shoulders to his waist, the thickness of his thighs and his incredible ass. you're no better than a man in that sense, but it's your husband, and you'll ogle him all you like.
it's your privilege. and your right.
but then you catch someone else's gaze, looking at the same thing. it's her--and she's got her eyes on your man.
you suck in a breath, sinking into simon's chair, and you meet her eyes once simon is gone. you smile at her, knowingly, and she swallows hard visibly, clutching the papers she's holding to her chest and making her way to the door.
"i am...so sorry about earlier," she says timidly. "i-i...had no idea that...i didn't know--"
"it's fine," you say, your voice monotone and unyielding. "glad to know this country's secrets are kept...under great care." you stand, and she comes in, holding out her hand.
"i'll get that cuppa for you, mrs. riley, no need," she laughs nervously.
"oh, so you were eavesdropping?" you ask, and she sputters.
"oh...god, n-no, i--"
"i'm just kidding," you smile again, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "tea would be nice."
she scurries off after that, and you follow her to the door, laughing to yourself as she hurries off towards the break room. you notice the cart she was sitting next to. it's stopped at her desk, and you peek over, seeing that it's the mail. she's got the envelopes on her desk, and it looks as if she was just organizing it all to hand out.
but there's a drawer open at her desk, and your eyes narrow when you see your handwriting on the envelope stashed there.
you round the desk, grabbing the stack that you see, and you let out a shaky breath when you realize these are your letters. the ones that you write to simon, all of them, bound neatly with a rubber band. your lip trembles a little, and you hold them to your chest, blinking back angry tears as you slowly make your way back to simon's office. you shut the door, dropping the stack of letters onto simon's desk, and you think.
she's very pretty. not taller than you, but she's more...conventionally attractive. she doesn't have your plush hips, your soft tummy, but that doesn't make her a villain--but you're just aware of what she looks like, what you look like.
you've never been too insecure, especially not since marrying simon. he never fails to chub up as soon as he sees you; he's hungry whenever he sets his eyes on you, and you know he likes grabbing the extra fat around your hips and holding you. he's so gross about it, but you love it. you love the way he loves you.
but is that what he imagined when he was married? did he imagine a woman with a little more? did he imagine a woman not like you, but a little smaller, a little tinier, easier to carry?
but he can carry you. on more than one occasion, he's thrown you over his shoulder, lifted you onto a surface he then fucked you on, flipped you and manhandled you into various positions he wanted to try. he loves having you on top, loves picking you up from your hips and fucking up into you. he never strains, just grunts from the pleasure and smacks your ass. he's never given you any reason to believe you aren't the most beautiful woman, his prettiest girl, so why are you thinking this way?
no. it isn't you. it's her. it's all her fault; there is nothing wrong with you. a man like simon needs a woman like you--someone not so fragile, someone that has more.
she is without. and you are not.
the insecurity wanes. it turns into something else. not jealousy. it's anger. something hungry.
you fucking hate her.
simon comes in a few minutes later, holding a cup of tea in one hand and a manila folder in the other. he shuts the door with his boot, setting down the mug and folder before leaning over and giving your cheek a little kiss through the mask.
the way he greets you, the light touch he has on you, reminds you of what you are to him. no one else in the entire world is privy to this kind of affection. to simon's affection. it's yours, and yours alone, and if you just open your mouth and tell him what you want, you know that he will give it to you.
she is without. and you are not.
"was thinkin'--" simon stops short when he looks at your face, frowning. the recognition of something amiss is almost instant. "wot's wrong?"
you look up, meeting his eyes, and you think again.
you could say nothing. you could wipe your tears, tell him that you're just lonely and needy, and make him bend you over his desk to get the thoughts out of you. you aren't the violent kind. you're not confrontational. you have already established that you aren't the kind to lash out, to show your teeth. you have the nasty tick, but you aren't the kind to let it fester.
you blink, and simon snarls. you waited too long, and now he knows there is something else on your mind.
"oi," he snaps. "'m tolkin' t'ya."
"s-simon," you whisper, and he reaches over to grip you by the throat. he doesn't choke you, but he holds you firm, dragging you closer to him. "s-simon--"
but it's too late for her, because you're angry. the sickness has already spread.
you stand, forced to walk around the desk, coming closer. he's not happy; there's something bothering his wife, and that isn't allowed. his wife is not supposed to be upset or sad, she isn't supposed to cry unless it's tears of joy, unless her eyes are stinging and wet from how nice his cock feels. a lieutenant's wife is pampered, spoiled, nothing but pleasure and soft sheets and full tummies. it's unacceptable. it's awful, it's terrible, it's not right, and he needs to fix it.
"wot is it?"
"...better hope she doesn't tell him about this..."
"the letters--" you sniffle, leaning up on your toes, pressing your face against his. "the letters i sent you, t-the ones...you said you never got--"
"i know, luvvie," he murmurs. fuck, he can be kind when he wants to be, when it's for you. "i know, 'm sorry, 'm gonna sort it out for ya--"
"i-i found them," you interrupt, looking away. he follows your gaze to where they sit on his desk. he reaches over and picks up the neat stack, and he flips through them with a huff. he's confused, noting the dates you've written on them. it isn't even all the letter's you've sent, just a stack of the most recent ones.
"i don't--"
"they were in...they were in her desk," you hiccup. "she...she's keeping them from you, she wasn't--" you rest your head on his chest, closing your eyes, and he cradles the back of your head with a big hand. "she doesn't like me."
it's quiet for a long while. simon strokes the back of your neck, easing you into his chest. his touch is light, unbothered, but he's eerily silent as the moments pass. the rise and fall of his heavy breaths lull you, calm you, but then he wraps his fingers into your hair, gripping the strands tight. you swallow a bit from the force of his hand. the gravity of what he might feel, what it might mean, the switch you've flipped.
the thing you've unleashed.
it is the first time that you realize what simon can be for you. it is the first time that you think that it's very possible for you to use simon, to whisper soft in his ear and lick the flames of his need to bite back, his need to strike.
even if what you say is a lie, he'll believe you. maybe he'll even know it is a lie, and he'll convince himself it isn't one just to make things right again. love is blinding, and it is also forgiving. he can deal with the lie later, but not with your dissatisfaction.
"doesn't matter about how she feels about ya, y'r m'wife," he murmurs in your ear. his tone has lowered, something that makes you think this might be how he speaks to his men, the privates he can't stand and the ones that have trouble following orders. "fuckin' disrespectful--" he hisses, tipping your head back with a tug on your hair. he looks into your eyes, wild, cunning, angry. "'m gonna take care of this, swee'eart. y'hear me?"
oh, yeah. that's what you want to hear, that's what you need to hear. you flutter your lashes, mouthing at his jaw.
"i don't...i don't mean to make a fuss, simon, i--" but i do, i want it--
"oi," simon picks you up from under your thighs, dropping you onto his desk. he steps between your knees, pushing his mask up, and you mewl when he licks the tears off your face, kissing you with an open mouth. "y'listen to me..." he sucks on your bottom lip, bringing his mouth back to yours. "won't accept anyone treatin' m'wife this way. disrespectin' you is disrespectin' me. won't 'ave tha'. so look me 'n the eyes 'n tell me ya understand."
you sniffle, nodding, smoothing your hands down his forearms. he narrows his eyes, and you try not to look away from him. it isn't up for discussion. even if you ask him not to make a fuss, he won't roll over on this. there is a certain decorum simon expects anyone that reports to him to have, and if they don't grant it, he doesn't take to it lightly--not from his men, and not from pretty secretaries that didn't do their homework.
"i-i understand," you whisper, and you sputter a little when you stop yourself from saying anymore. he knocks your chin back up, keeping your eyes, and you continue with a wobble in your voice. "she...she tried to kick me out earlier, too." he tilts his head to the side, and you know not to keep a secret anymore. "when i...when i was opening your office, she...s-she didn't recognize me and...she tried to get kyle to make me leave."
he laughs a little, but there's nothing funny about it.
"'n wot did he do?"
"he said he was sorry."
"good. now lie back, swee'eart. 'm hungry, 'n my wife deserves to get her cunt eaten for being such a good girl."
you smile a little, wiping your face with the back of your hand, and he grins back at you. you giggle as he unbuttons your jeans, pulling down the zipper, and you laugh a little more when he picks you up and yanks them off your legs. he puts a hand on your chest and pushes you to lie flat, tossing your legs over his shoulders and sighing.
"missed y'r lil' pussy so much," he murmurs. "m'favorite place ta be."
just like that, the anger is gone. dissolved, sugar in warm water.
you giggle, rubbing a hand over the head of his mask. you arch your back as he mouths over the fabric of your panties, hooking a finger over it and pulling it aside to slurp at your wet folds. you let out a shaky breath, tugging on his mask a little.
"i missed you, too, simon," you whisper. "i-it's too quiet without you."
"i know, baby," he suckles at your clit, coaxing a moan out of you, and he chuckles. "mmm...want ya to cum in my mouth, luv."
you whimper, "i will, simon. anything for you."
"fuckin' hell," he hisses, "don't say shit like tha', makes me fuckin' hard."
"whatever you want, baby," you whisper, and he pushes his tongue into your little hole as punishment, making you squeal and giggle with delight. he smirks from between your thighs, dragging you just that much closer before he starts to bob his head and fuck you with his tongue. you grind against his mouth, locking your ankles behind his back and staring at the ceiling as you ride his face for your pleasure. he's so good, he's so hot, everything you want and more. he loves you, so much, and he will do anything for you.
anything.
"are you going t-to teach her a lesson?" you babble, panting, and simon hums.
"yeah, swee'eart."
"how?"
"hmm..." he smiles wide as he kisses your clit. "how do ya want me to?"
"want her gone, simon," you gasp, forcing his mouth back into your pussy, slick coating his chin. he follows your direction, smoothing his hands up your stomach, thumbing at your perky tits.
"mmm..." he's so pussy-drunk, his tongue flattening between your folds and teasing you warmly. you're so wet, slick coating your folds, and he''s starting get messy, his face glistening as he concentrates on the only task that matters. "woteva y'want, luv."
"r-really?"
"i asked ya to cum in my fuckin' mouth, and y'r about to," simon snaps. "when i say it's done, it's done. when my wife asks for somethin', she gets it, do you fuckin' understand me?"
"yes! yes--" you hiccup. you're so stupid. so dumb to think that simon would refuse a request that you make. pretty, dumb girl to think that whatever you say isn't his gospel.
you want her gone. you do. and you want simon to do it for you. you want him to stuff his fingers into your cunt with one hand and hold her at the wrong end of his gun with the other--
there's something wrong with you, right? right?
"why are y'still thinkin'?" simon growls, leaning up and over you until he can kiss you nasty. his face is soaked, and you moan when he slides his tongue over yours, practically spitting in your mouth as he slips two fingers into you with ease. "my wife isn't supposed ta think."
you let out a shaky breath, nodding, cupping his cheeks and kissing him back.
"yes--o-okay, 'm sorry--"
"stop thinkin'. nothin' ta think about when y'r mine."
and he's right. you always use your brain too much, you always end up thinking when you should just be listening, responding, letting him move your body this way and that way.
simon is always right. always.
you kiss him again, soft and shaky breaths. you reach down with one hand and wrap your fingers around his wrist, sighing as you guide his fingers until he's pressing on that little spot that makes your toes curl.
"ahhh...right there, yeah?" he smirks, and you nod, your fingers touching his lips.
"not enough," you whisper, and he tsks, shaking his head.
"never is," he mutters. "my mouth or my cock, baby?"
you giggle, and he kisses you, swallowing your laughter. you breathe into the kiss as you reach down and start to undo the button of his cargos and unzip him, palming at his bulge and squeezing it lovingly.
"not even a question," you purr between kisses, and he chuckles, deep and heavy, shoving down his pants just enough to pull himself out. you arch your back just at the sight, knowing how big he'll feel and how much he'll stretch you out. it's such a familiar feeling that you adore chasing, and you love the way your brain muddles whenever he sinks deep. your toes curl just thinking about how deep he'll get today with how wet you are. not that you aren't wet always when simon is around, but there's just something so sexy about your husband wearing all his gear and promising to rid the earth of vermin just for your contentment.
"'s alright, mama, i know 'ow much ya like bein' full o' me..." simon smooths a finger over your clit, licking his lips when he sees you clench around nothing. he slaps his tip there, watching you squirm, and he growls a little when you spread your fingers in a V and show off to him how wet you are.
"stop teasing and make me a real mama," you giggle, and simon tilts his head to the side, leaning over you.
"is tha' a challenge, m'dear wife?"
you meet his eyes, lovely and lingering, and you shake your head.
"no," you whisper, because fucking isn't a challenge, not for him. "a-a request."
he smiles, so wide, and you reach down and grip his forearms tight when he slips into you. you're dripping, a soft squelch sounding as his hips meet your thighs, and you cup his face as he settles his weight over you.
"y-you've never looked at her...have you?" you ask into his ear.
"at who, baby?"
"her," you whine. "you know w-who i'm talking about, don't play stupid, simon--"
"shh--" he clamps a hand over your mouth, hissing a little. he shakes his head, annoyed, and he shifts inside of you until he's hitting your cervix and making you cry into his palm. "'m a right bastard, baby, but tha', i'd never do." he chuckles. "got a tight arse, tha' one, but she's not you. she's not my girl."
tears prick your eyes. you're not sure if it's from the hint of jealousy that sears through your chest or the way you clench around him, but it's all too much suddenly.
he leans forward, sliding his hand off, gripping you by the throat now as he kisses you wet and hazy.
"'s y'r face i think about when 'm gone," he murmurs. "y'r cunt tha' gets me fuckin' hard. y'r fat tits that make me drool, swee'eart, ain't no one else 'n the world tha' makes me feel the way y'do, yeah?"
you hold onto him, digging your nails into his back, and he forces your eyes on his as he smiles again.
"ask the boys," simon hums. "ask 'em wot it sounds like when 'm wankin' off at night, ask 'em whose name 'm sayin'--"
"you think about me?" you whimper, and he laughs, cruel, biting his lip as he drags his cock out and then punches it back in, enjoying the way you cry, the look of your slick seeping out onto the desk and wetting his reports.
"got a nasty lil' photo 'f ya," simon smirks. "keep it right here--" he pats the spot over his heart, and your mouth opens when he squeezes your throat just a little tighter. "can finish in fuckin' seconds, baby."
"y-yeah?"
"boys like t'borrow it sometimes," he murmurs, slipping a hand down and pressing down on your lower stomach before giving you a nice roll of his lips. you squeal a little, his palm meeting the tip of his cock, and he chuckles. "ya just look so pretty, luv. johnny fancies y'r cunt, the good lad, but i think price is a fan of that fat arse--"
"s-simon--"
"gaz is such a sap--" he grits his teeth, gripping your hips with both hands, starting to give it to you a little faster, a little harder. the desk rattles a little under the force of him. "says your mouth is divine, but fuck, who can look at anythin' else when y'r cunt is out, aye?"
"t-they like me?"
simon grins, eyes bright and a little crazy. "course they do, luvvie," he runs his tongue over his teeth, tilting his head to the side as he looks down at you. "y'r a bloody sight for sore eyes. 'f ya think these boys want her, y'r mistaken--" you bite your bottom lip. you should be disgusted. you should be upset that your husband touches himself to your picture and lets his men peek over his shoulder, but you're not. you smile, eyes sparkling, and you widen your thighs to try and take him deeper. "--want you, swee'eart. want wot's mine, but they'll never 'ave it. never 'ave wot belongs ta me. can look, but they can't fuckin' touch, cos it's mine."
you moan, dragging your nails down his forearms, and he curses under his breath as he picks up the pace again. he's starving--it's been weeks without you, weeks fucking his fist to the same picture of you that barely does you any justice. he drools at night, practically choking on his spit as he thinks about you in every position, how easily he can bend you and fold you, how wet you get whenever he talks into your ear about the blood, the murder, the terrible things that stain his hands.
he knows what it does to you, when he confides in you. the truth of it all, the truth of what he really is, it makes you weak. it rattles you down to your bones, it makes your eyes roll back into your head, makes your legs squeeze together and your pretty pussy flutter. he thinks maybe you like knowing that simon is dangerous, but he'd never put a hand on you. or maybe you like just knowing that he can--that he's capable of terrible, awful things, and he chooses to come home to you.
every single time.
it's a vice. you're the vice, more than cigarettes, more than the thrill of getting onto his bike, more than the adrenaline he chases when he's outnumbered twenty to one with nothing but his throwing knives.
there's a thread between you. there's a line that connects him to you, something that has always been there, pulled taut as soon as he put that ring on your finger and gave you his name. it's the thing that always makes it hard to breathe when you're around him. it's what makes it impossible to look into his eyes and not see yourself looking right back at you. it's the terrible realization that your husband is black and blue on the inside--
and so am i.
this kind of love is different. it's not fleeting, it's not gentle. it's canine teeth tearing into skin. it's claws in something soft, ripping it apart. it's the joy in doing what isn't right, the benefit of yourself in favor of the benefit of all.
simon would burn the world for you. even if it meant you were all that was left--even if it meant that everyone in it burned, too.
the world should be grateful that simon is only taking one fucking secretary instead of them all.
when simon lifts your hips just that much, your head spins. he always fucks so good, but you're spiraling into a headspace that's making it hard to focus your eyes. you're arching your back to get closer to him, but you're at his mercy, his hands pressing on your thighs just that much to get you just a little more open, just that much more spread out, and you cry when he leans over you, the hair surrounding his cock rubbing against your clit just enough.
"ahhh--fuck, y'r so fuckin' tight, baby--" simon groans, shaking his head. "y'r gonna cum--can feel it, yeah--" he leans his head back. "y'know the rules, luvvie, know the fuckin' rules--"
you have to cum before him, he won't let you have it if you don't cum first--you're so close!
"let 'er hear ya," simon chuckles, all mean, all bite. "let 'er hear 'ow good y'r husband gives it t'ya, how well a riley takes it, let 'er hear--"
fuck, it hits you fast. you're seeing spots, floating for just long enough until you feel him fuck his cum back into you. he barely stops, quickening his pace to finish just to make it that much messier. you think he likes dirtying his desk, making it reek of sweat and musk and heat so he can bask in it later. or maybe he just wants to get back between your thighs, his favorite place in the world, the only quiet from the voices that taunt him in his head.
when he pulls out, he makes you eat it off his fingers. he pulls his gloves off, stuffs his fingers into you, and then puts them back between your lips. he hums as he stares down at you, lapping between his knuckles, and he leans down to murmur in your ear.
"gonna sort this out, luv. promise ya tha'."
he doesn't see acceptance in your eyes when he tells you this. he didn't expect to see that. there is no need to accept the things that you already know, what you already understand. simon doesn't speak in metaphors. he's not interested in riddles, and he doesn't like reading between the lines.
he sees the thrill. he sees your excitement, the joy, the warm rush of approval that washes over you, and he smiles when you lean in to kiss him, all soft, all tender, whispers of affection that make his cock hard all over again.
you want to pity the girl waiting outside. she would've lived longer if she had just shut her fucking mouth.
#UHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM yeah#i did that#so what#noooo don't do it ;)#that's terrible........#oops my knife slipped#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
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Two professors and a student (Part 3)
Word count: 2700
Warnings: phone sex (kinda?), smut, masturbation, sex
Itâs the first Monday of your winter break, and youâre back on campus. Rio had sent out an email to everyone in the course saying that if anyone wanted, she would be in her office all day so you could look at your graded exams. She hadnât put the grades into your student portal yet, so your heart is pounding as you climb up the stairs to the science building.Â
From nerves, yes, but also at the prospect of seeing Rio again.Â
You hadnât heard from her since the text Saturday morning, and yet, you had been able to think of little else. Thoughts of her and Agatha had plagued your mind all weekend and now you werenât sure how to interact with Rio in an educational setting.Â
Should you bring up the dinner tomorrow night? Or just pretend that you were her student and nothing more?Â
What if there were other students from your class in her office right now? You sort of hope thatâs the case and then you wonât have to stress about it.Â
But of course, when you knock on her office door and then push it open, itâs only Rio.Â
Sheâs sitting at her desk, looking expectantly at you, like she knew you would be coming.Â
âHey,â you say, voice sounding more shaky than you intended.Â
âY/n, to what do I owe the pleasure?â She asks, tone silky and suggestive. You gulp and take a few more steps in the office, not missing the way the door clicks shut behind you.Â
âI wanted to see my exam?â It comes out as a question instead of a statement. God, itâs almost embarrassing how much this woman affects you, especially after the other night.Â
âOf course you did,â Rio says smugly and stands up. She moves some papers around on her desk. Once she finds it, she holds it out to you so youâre forced to close the distance and take it from her.Â
Inhaling deeply, you chance a peek at the top and are pleasantly surprised to find a 97% scribbled on the paper. You exhale slowly and you can almost feel the tension seeping out of your body. All the effort you had put in had paid off.Â
You flip through the pages of the exam to see where you messed up. Youâre so focused on reading her feedback that you donât notice Rio has moved right behind you until you feel her hot breath on your neck.Â
You stiffen and you can feel goosebumps creep up your body.Â
âYou did so well,â she says, practically whispering it into your ear. âYour attention to detail, the amount of care you put into your work, itâs impressive.âÂ
âThank you,â you manage to squeak, hands wrinkling the paper from how tight youâre holding onto it. Her fingers come up to lightly play with your hair and youâre having trouble reading the words on the paper. All you can think about is Rio.Â
âWhat do you think about going to Herbâs tomorrow night?â She murmurs. Herbâs is probably the fanciest steakhouse in town. You whirl around, startling when you realize just how close she actually is to you. Her lips (not that youâre looking) are probably three inches from yours. You can see the little specks of gold in her dark eyes.Â
âI couldnât, thatâs too much,â you protest, but she puts a finger to your mouth. You freeze.Â
âAgatha and I want to reward you for being such a good girl for us,â she says and a thrill runs through you. âThatâs who you are, right?âÂ
You think youâve forgotten how to breathe. You nod ever so slightly, afraid to move too much since her finger still hasnât left your mouth.Â
And then she grabs your chin with her hand, causing you to gasp at the sudden roughness, her thumb coming to stroke lightly at your bottom lip. You part your lips reflexively and she smirks, delighting in the obvious effect she has on you.Â
âSay it,â she urges.Â
âIâm your good girl,â you rasp, heat now flaring in your stomach. Her eyes are locked on yours and you can see desire clouding in them. Youâre positive yours look the exact same. Her thumb swipes against your lip again, and this time, you flick your tongue out to brush against it. Her eyes flash and she opens her mouth to say something but thereâs a knock on the door and you jump back from her.Â
Rio chuckles sardonically, tongue pushing against her inner cheek, and calls out, âCome in!âÂ
A kid youâve only seen once or twice in the entire semester pushes open the door and walks in.Â
âUm, well, thanks for this,â you say, flustered more than youâve ever been in your life, and hand the test back to Rio.Â
âProfessor Harkness is in her office, if you want to stop by and say hi,â she says casually and you donât know how she is so composed. Is she telling you to go see her? Did Agatha ask to see you?Â
You wouldnât be surprised now if they were counting on you coming to see Rio to see your test. If this whole thing had been planned.Â
But if anything, you feel like this is confirmation that they want you too.Â
âOkay,â you say, still a little breathless.Â
You take a moment to collect yourself once in the hallway again and then in almost a daze, walk to Agathaâs office.Â
You had spent so much time there in the semester earlier that you could map it with your eyes closed. And even now, when you havenât been there in months, it still looks the exact same when you finally arrive and go inside.Â
Sitting at her desk, Agatha looks positively ecstatic that youâre there.Â
âRio saidââ you begin, but trail off because youâre not sure how to explain what just happened. Youâre not sure if Agatha will be jealous. You awkwardly walk over and sit on the couch where you spent so many afternoons.Â
âHowâd you do on her exam?â She asks, but from her grin, she clearly already knows.Â
âReally good,â you say. âI think better than I did on your final.âÂ
Agatha pouts mockingly. âTrying harder to impress her more than me?âÂ
âNo! I donât â no â thatâs not ââÂ
She laughs. âSweetheart, Iâm teasing.â She stands up and comes around to sit next to you on the couch. Her body is tilted towards you and her legs come up so her thigh is against yours. You bite back a gasp at the contact. âDid Rio talk to you about dinner tomorrow?âÂ
You nod and try to contain the blush that is surely spreading on your face, but the memory of Rio calling you a good girl and tasting her thumb on your tongue makes that impossible. âHerbâs?âÂ
âHave you been?â She perches her elbow on the side of the couch and rests her head in her hand, leaning in closer.Â
âNo. Itâs too fancy for a broke college student like me,â you answer in a lame attempt at a joke. âYou guys really donât have to take me there.âÂ
Agathaâs other hand comes up to cup your cheek and rub her thumb against it. âHon, you are so much more than that. And yes, we do. We want to. Itâs been awhile since someone has caught our attention like this.âÂ
Your breath hitches. âLike what?â You dare to whisper. You find yourself also leaning in closer and canât help from glancing down at her lips.Â
She smirks. âLike this.âÂ
And then she closes the gap and your eyes close in anticipation. But her lips stop when theyâre a breath away from yours, maybe just to make sure you want this too. You want this more than life at this point, so youâre the one who makes the first real move and you kiss her. Itâs featherlight, just a ghost of a kiss lasting mere seconds, but when you pull back, her normally-blue eyes are dark and hooded.Â
Her hand on your cheek tangles itself in your hair and she pulls you in to crash your mouths together in a bruising kiss.Â
You moan into her open mouth when her tongue parts your lips and licks against yours. Her fingers move to scrapple at your hips and you figure out what she wants so you maneuver yourself into her lap without breaking the kiss. Her hands slide under your shirt and just rest against your skin, but you have to pull away to throw your head back and moan at the hot contact. Agatha doesnât hesitate before kissing down the side of your face and then down your neck. She sucks a bite into the juncture of your neck and shoulder and your hips cant in her lap.Â
âFuck,â you gasp and her nails dig into your back. You drag her mouth back to yours, panting into the kiss. You can feel her losing composure as well when her teeth nip aggressively at your lower lip. It turns you on beyond words that youâre having this kind of effect on her.Â
âWell, would you look at this?â A voice says from the doorway and you jerk back so hard that you topple off Agathaâs lap and onto the couch. Fear spikes through your body as you look andâ
âitâs Rio.Â
Part of you is relieved that it wasnât anyone else, but then again, you were just caught making out with her girlfriend. Agatha doesnât look worried at all, though. If anything, she looks proud of herself.Â
âI didnât realize when I told you to come here I was giving you permission to whore yourself out,â Rio says cooly as she walks over to the couch.Â
âIâm sorry,â you whisper and you scramble off the couch, smoothing your shirt down from where it had ridden up. Agatha rolls her eyes amusedly. âIâll, um, see you guys tomorrow night?âÂ
âSix pm, donât be late,â Rio says, eyes burning into you as you scurry out of the office.Â
Your plan is to get to your dorm as fast as possible so you can touch yourself to the memory of the kiss, desperately needing to relieve the ache that has built up in you. Â
You havenât even left the building though when your phone rings. You pull it out of your pocket and, much to your surprise, itâs Rio. Is she calling you to tell you to come back? To scold you?
You swipe to answer it and hesitantly lift your phone to your ear. âHello?âÂ
At first, you donât hear anything specific, just some muffled sounds. You say something again, but you donât hear either of them. Did Rio butt-dial you?
Youâre about to hang up when you finally hear Rio. But sheâs not talking to you.Â
âHow was it?â She says. Her voice sounds far away. Is she asking about you?
âFuck, Rio, it was so hot,â Agatha says. Your entire body tenses. Theyâre talking about you.Â
Your head starts to spin and you frantically look around for somewhere you can go.Â
âYeah? It looked hot. She looked so good with her tongue in your mouth, Aggie.âÂ
Thereâs a bathroom a few yards away. You duck into it and lock yourself in a stall. Youâre not sure you could hold the phone any closer to your ear.Â
âI thought you were going to kiss her, too,â Agatha admits. âI wanted to watch.â Someone scoffs and you think it might be Rio.Â
âI wouldâve earlier if one of my idiot students hadnât interrupted. You shouldâve seen her, so desperate for it.âÂ
âOh, I think I know what desperation looks like on her.â You can practically hear the smirk in Agathaâs voice and you blush. âAnd I know what it looks like on you, too.âÂ
Another huff. Thereâs silence for a moment and you strain your ears so you donât miss anything. And then thereâs the faintest of sounds, almost like a smacking noise. Your eyes widen. Are they kissing?
âCan you taste her on me?â You hear Agatha mutter between breaths and you think youâre about to combust on the spot. You canât resist from sliding a hand down your shorts and you gasp at how wet you are.Â
The sounds continue and you hear soft moaning, but youâre unable to distinguish who theyâre coming from.Â
And then: âGet on the desk,â Agatha orders roughly. âI never thanked you properly for Saturday morning.â Rio chuckles breathlessly and you can hear things being cleared off the space.Â
You are completely overwhelmed now, by the knowledge that Rio had fucked her the morning after you had seen them (was the dinner invitation before or after?) and now Agathaâs about to return the favor.Â
And you are listening.Â
âAre you going to tell her about your dream?â Rio asks. You hear the sound of a belt buckle and a zipper.Â
âShould I?â Agatha retorts. âDo you think she could handle knowing I had such a good dream about the three of us that you had to take care of me in my sleep?âÂ
You moan involuntarily and clamp a hand over your mouth. If they catch you listening thereâs a chance theyâll hang up and you cannot take that risk.Â
âI think she could,â Rio says, words turning into a groan at the end of the sentence. You wonder if Agatha is touching her now. âI saw how much she needed you just now. I think sheâd be a good girl and let us do whatever we wanted to her.âÂ
You nod enthusiastically like they can see you.Â
âFuck, Agatha,â Rio gasps and you think if you listen closely enough, you can hear her wetness. You slide a finger into yourself and mirror what youâre imagining Agatha doing.Â
âShe is our good girl, isnât she,â Agatha muses conversationally. You have to bite down your lip so you donât make any other noises. âCan you picture her doing this to you? Making you feel good with her fingers?âÂ
Your ring finger joins your middle finger to thrust into you and your thumb rubs at your clit. You are embarrassingly close after making out with Agatha and now this.Â
It seems like Rio is, too. âYes, fuck, I want you both.â You can hear her breaths coming out short and fast and Agatha laughs.Â
âYou both are so desperate. What am I going to do with you? I have some ideas.âÂ
You almost beg to hear them. But Rio has that covered for you.Â
âOh yeah?â She whimpers.Â
âIâm going to teach her how you like to be eaten out. How you like to be fucked. And then weâll see if sheâs as good of a learner in bed as she is in the classroom.â Rioâs moan is so loud it cuts out the next thing Agatha says. You canât be mad though because her sounds are just as hot as Agathaâs words. âAnd then weâll fuck her. Sheâll look so pretty stretched around your fingers. With my tongue in her pussy.âÂ
You taste blood from how hard you bite your lip after she says that. Your hips stutter and you are so close.Â
âFuck, Agatha,â Rio swears. âIâm going to cum.âÂ
âYeah? Cum for me, Rio. And you too, sweetheart.â You canât stop the gasp that falls from your lips when you register that Agatha is talking to you and hearing her say that sends you over the edge. Rio as well, from the sounds of it. Your orgasm is explosive, even though youâre fucking yourself in a college bathroom stall. You pant and rest your head against the wall, thoroughly ruined.Â
Your cheeks are flushed at being played like a fool. Of course they didnât accidentally call you right before they just happened to have sex.Â
Thereâs movement from Rio and Agathaâs side and then Agathaâs voice close to the speaker. âYou okay, honey?âÂ
You cough to clear your throat. âYeah,â you say weakly and they both chuckle.Â
âWeâll see you tomorrow night,â Rio says. âWear something pretty for us.â And the call disconnects.Â
You laugh in disbelief. Fuck.Â
#agatha harkness x fem!reader#agatha harkness x reader#agatha x reader#agatha x you#agatha harkness smut#agatha harkness x you#kathryn hahn x reader#agatha smut#agatha all along#rio vidal x agatha harkness#agatha x rio#rio vidal x reader#agathario#agathario x reader
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PARADIGM
m reader x yunjin // 19k words
Letâs get one thing straight: itâs incredibly difficult to get a good read on Huh Yunjin.Â
Goes without saying, sheâs the girl that everyone wants. Exuberant on a vibe thatâs very easy to fall into whenever she steps foot into the room; anyone within less than a three feet radius can notice it at first glance.Â
Youâre bumping shoulder to shoulder with friends around the table -Â having a good laugh over lunch while sheâs passing by with the slightest bit of eye contact with you and, fuck.Â
(Yeah, thatâs usually how all good stories start.)Â
â
One big question that people would ask: how did all of this come to be in the first place with you and Yunjin?
You see, itâs kind of a long story.Â
(Technically, not really.)
Itâs your fourth year of college. Not counting the additional fifth year because of some loose ends coursewise; youâre near the finish line, nonetheless.Â
Kazuha has been your roommate and close friend since the second year. She met you by random chance during orientation the first year but didnât actually build a sense of closeness until you and her shared two classes together in between. Since she sat next to you in the lecture hall that first day of the new semester, sheâs tagged along with you in the dining hall, the library, in some club activities that you were the plus one in, a few scattered parties here or there, and occasionally times where youâre nursing Kazuha for having one too many drinks.Â
In some ways, sheâs the opposite of your ideal paradigm, or at least how you want things to be in the fast-paced style of college.Â
Itâs through Kazuha where you meet Sakura. The first impression of her in comparison to Kauzha is that Sakuraâs the kind of girl who knows exactly what she wants in her life. Sheâs foot to the floor, no bullshit type of deal. You donât really have any classes with her specifically since sheâs busy down in the fashion part of campus, but drops by to chill with you and Kazuha in between her long hours of sketching and crocheting. To Sakuraâs credit also, sheâs the one who roped in Kazuha on the party side of things, always coming over on Friday nights to pick her up and giving you some sort of codename through text to signify that Kazuha royally fucked herself over and needs a designated driver, or another word to let you know that sheâs getting her legs split open by some guy that they met at the club.Â
(Youâve dealt with it for so long since the first time, itâs basically kind of the norm when she brings over her boytoys while youâre also in the house. Some of the guys are nice, and one of them was actually one of your classmates - so, that was a bit weird for a short while.)
Moving forward,Â
Itâs lunch, probably on a Tuesday or Wednesday; your mind was already plagued with the bombardment of assignments and extracurriculars filling up your calendar. Kazuha and a few others in your circle are beating the dry autumn heat by taking refuge in the student center, occupying one of the conversation spots debating over something stupid. One of your friends tells you to dish your opinion and you tell them that youâre too checked out to even listen to the topic that theyâre discussing. Now that weâve got that sorted, can you guys let me put my head back down? You plead, earning a few laughs and a shoulder rub from Kazuha sitting next to you.Â
âHave you eaten yet?â Kazuha asks you, sitting up to grab your nearly empty water bottle. âGod, it even sounds unnatural for me to be worried for you.âÂ
âI had like-â you say, chugging down the bottle, letting the plastic crunch around your hand, â-a big breakfast, and Iâm just tired. Thank you for asking.âÂ
Kazuha gives you a light shove while you let out a small laugh, acting like the blowback was gonna have you fall off the table. She hates how much you fake things with her, but itâs not her fault how unbelievably gullible sheâs made herself to be. âThis is exactly why youâre not dating material.âÂ
Another one of your friends sitting chimes in, âThatâs a little rude coming from you, Kazuha.âÂ
âI didnât mean it like that!â she refutes, hands up to proclaim her innocence. âYou guys should be the one to press him since he almost skipped class this morning.âÂ
âOnly because I overslept from the night before doing an assignment that took way longer than I expected.â You state your case, reaching in your bag for a small ziploc of cookies, sliding it over to your classmate sitting on the opposite end of the corner. âAnd are we not gonna talk about how Kazuha slept with one of the people in my accounting class?âÂ
âYeah, what the hell is all that about Zu?â Jisun asks suddenly, sitting next to Kazuha on the left side, âSince when have you been sleeping with guys on a weekend basis?âÂ
âEver since Sakura brought her out clubbing one Friday night,â you butt in, fingers to your temple and elbow on the table, reminiscing on the memories like some war flashback, âYou guys should see what it's like back at the apartment.âÂ
âWhat was the initial reaction to seeing your classmate from accounting?â someone at the table asks, âGod, that must be like, so weird to see them walking down the hallway.âÂ
âBelieve me,â you breathe, not sure whether to be shocked or disappointed at the memory, âI talked to him on the way out the next morning and he asked me about our next lecture.â Kazuha bumps your shoulder to let you know that she was in on the conversation that morning after, âAt least he has his priorities straight after the one night stand.âÂ
Kazuha's face cringes out towards the group which makes everyone laugh, including you. One of the other table members joke about this story of someone doing the walk of shame after getting caught in the science building by security, discreetly pointing them out since they walked by on the opposite end of the walkway. The way they had their hoodie up covering their face in public, canât help but feel bad for them.Â
At the same time, two girls walk towards your table, on the edge. One of them was slightly taller than the other with a different hair color as well. Your attention was focused on the taller person, who had a prep school type of vibe in their appearance. She was wearing a plaid skirt, high socks with stilettos, one earbud on while sheâs looking over to her friend talking about something - not wanting to wonder what theyâre talking about.Â
Itâs when she looks out to the windows behind your table, where thereâs this weird feeling in you that shifts the balance of the universe it seems like. Nothing ever in your life makes you stop and wonder if the next day would be your last, but in this case - well, the only case, where a girl crosses your path and makes you lose every bit of composure built up in a matter of seconds.Â
This girl is cute. Thatâs the first (and evident) note of observation. What makes it even more puzzling is how this girl is maintaining eye contact with you the whole time as sheâs walking. Everyone around the table is stuck in a state of confusion while you suddenly stood up without any reason. Kazuha notices the glances from you and the girl passing by, assessing, connecting the dots together, and she looks back with a realizing âahhâ leaving her mouth.Â
Once you sit back down, the girl walking by looks forward, but does a double take back at you that only solidifies the growing mystery brewing in that short connection. The table all exchange looks at each other, wondering what in the fuck happened just now, and they have questions.Â
âUh,â one of your friends sounded off to break the silence, âWhat was that just now?âÂ
âYeah,â another adds on while clearly trying to put it together with pointer fingers, âThat wasnât normal.âÂ
âClearly,â you say, scratching your neck to play off the awkward exchange of eyes. âWho was she?âÂ
âThe girl?â Kazuha beams, âHuh? Oh! Thatâs Yunjin! She and I actually go way back. I didnât even realize that was her because of her hair color.âÂ
âAre you serious?!â Jisun asks, distraught at the name itself, âYouâre friends with Yunjin? The Yunjin that everyone wants to get with here around school?!âÂ
While Kazuha drops the short summary of her backstory with her childhood friend, one of the other guys at the table walks over to you with hands on your shoulders, massaging them as a way of saying congratulations to getting one of the hottest girls on campus to notice you. Youâre still processing - it might be a coincidence, or accepting the fact that one-in-a-million moment will never happen again.Â
âAlright you guys,â you say, shouldering on your backpack while patting down the hoodie, âAs much as Iâd love to stay and chat about what just happened with that little staring contest, Iâve gotta go to class.âÂ
âBoo, no fun,â Kazuha says, pointing a thumb down while a few others around the table are doing the same thing, âHope you have fun in your class, or sleep through the boring lecture at least.âÂ
You walk off with a subtle wave, and thatâs where the story should end, without ever hoping for a second interaction with Yunjin in your life anytime soon. The staredown for a few seconds would be funny to think about for the rest of the day, but the story will be something to joke about long after getting yâknow; life and everything else together.Â
â
Or so you thought.Â
Turns out that your afternoon class is running later than usual, an email notification from your professor spelled out the message of him being stuck in traffic due to an accident on the way here. Some students are just lounging on the seats while others have their heads down to catch up on sleep - you could also use the power nap, too. Letâs not forget about the type A students reading into their textbooks and iPads sitting at the front row, could be you if you actually tried but youâre good with just doing enough for your own academic standards.Â
Kazuha texts you that sheâs gonna be late tonight, probably because of some cramming with Jisun or Saerom or whoever she tagged along with that isnât Sakura, hitting a fast reply of okay, iâll make sure to save some food for you when you get back.
Right when you hit send, the empty seat next to you becomes occupied, and the hair color looks a little too familiar from the millisecond glimpse out of your peripheral. Her fragrance comes off as coconut, maybe something syrupy, but the sigh of relaxation curtained by her overcast shade of sunset cherry in her hair, how she swivels her head towards your direction; determined, upbeat, and strikingly beautiful.Â
âHi,â Yunjin says, and youâre stuck frozen with parted lips. Thereâs a sudden chill running down your spine, a snap of the door being shut by one of the students that almost mocks the sound of a gun being fired in a closed-off chamber. There isnât any sunlight thatâs breaking through the overhanging windows beneath the top half of the class, but youâre simply starstruck from the mash of highlights in her almond eyes, the rose pink shade of her lips, her sunset colored hair that looks unreal for someone to have, how you might be thinking of the radiating beams of light shooting on the edge of her stature; no this isnât a mere hallucination or a prank from someone else, this is actually the real deal. âI wasnât here for the last lecture, so would it be okay if I could borrow your notes?âÂ
You hate how vulnerable you are in this state. You wouldâve answered in an instant, but this is Huh Yunjin weâre talking about here. Oh, by the way, you should probably say something beforeâ
âSure.â you answer, snapping yourself from the momentary trance of this girlâs beauty sitting next to you, rummaging through your backpack to pull out your notebook following your tablet, sliding it over while Yunjin clasps her hands together in prayer, bowing her head as thanks for not turning her down. âItâll be the page before the blank one when you flip through it.âÂ
âThanks.â she says, happily flipping through the notebook to see the contents of your notes, tongue stuck to the corner until reaching the most recent page. Reaching in her bag for the pencil case and notebook already opened, she begins to jot down whatever missing material she has while you observe her work.Â
Her penmanship is actually pretty to look at, and the fact that she puts a curve up with her apostrophes - not to mention the amount of small cat ears and hearts she doodles with on her page while reading your notes? Yeah, youâre a goner already.Â
And for the most part, how could you not be? Youâre already entranced at the way her hands twiddle the mechanical pencil, how her nails clack along the desk, how sheâs reciting terms and the articulation behind her words sound very intricate and clear. An elbowâs holding your head while your eyes skim through the words being transferred over from your notebook to yours; watching the drawbridge of her eyebrows quirk up at some unknown, but her whisky colored eyes spark up along with the arch, appearing bigger, canât help with the force in your heart smiling at the sight of learning something useful.Â
â-and when this occurs, oh- I see.â Sheâs nodding at the understanding of what sheâs quickly reading. This is someone who knows what theyâre doing, who has their priorities straight; humming with pure delight with the way she likes learning. Hang on a second, when the hell was she part of the class?
âTake it that youâre done with this?â you ask, fingertips grazing the rings of the notebook while Yunjin sets her pencil flat on the desk.Â
âIâve already got what I need to catch up on, thank you.â Her laugh is subtle, and quiet, closing up the book and sliding it back towards you while tending to her own. âThought Iâd be missing a lot, but good to know that I wasnât.âÂ
âIn this kind of class? You could say fuck all with the attendance and just come in for the exams.âÂ
Her head dips down, eyes sweeping from one corner to the other. Sheâs hiding the smile, but thereâs something lovely about the way her mouth quirks. That dimple is a lovely sight, a gold medal youâll keep in your head, whether sheâs interested or not.Â
She puts the pencil back into her case, zips it across halfway. âCan I ask,â she says, twisting her body to face yours, âYouâre close with Kazuha, right?âÂ
âIf you consider me to be her roommate as close, then, yes.âÂ
Yunjin gawks at you in shock, connecting the dots, another point brewing.Â
âYouâre the same person that I saw while walking in the hall earlier? Oh my God!â she realizes, trying to keep her excitement down in the quiet classroom. âI was hoping that sheâd help me in meeting you, but-âÂ
âLooks like you skipped the hard part all by yourself.â you tell her, acknowledging, blinking with a wide grin. âI know enough from her about you, but sheâll be thrilled to hear about this after.âÂ
âWhat makes you say that?âÂ
You notice the small stack of post-it notes sitting adjacent to Yunjinâs pencil case, pulling one from the stack and writing down something on the paper that you didnât think of having the courage to do in the first place.Â
A smooth operator move, she chuckles at the phone number sketched on the small slip.Â
This probably might be your favorite day to attend class so far this semester.
â
For whatâs it worth, the attention garnered around you and Yunjin wasnât asked for. If anything, the noise around campus just made it a bigger deal than what it actually seemed. The added reputation didnât even feel forced from others - much rather the opposite; almost in mixes of praise and pats on the back for doing something that most couldnât be able to do.Â
Some would ask too, about what itâs like âdating the hottest ticket around college?â or âwho made the first move?âÂ
To that, you shake your head and laugh, though the answer to the first question in itself was quite simple to say:
Pretty fucking crazy at times - but good, mostly great.Â
Honestly, youâd also imagine this sort of parallel universe where youâre not in a relationship with Yunjin. What would it be like? A few of the positives would probably be the better balance between classes, or maybe the cash in your wallet and card would be a little bit more than what it is now; god, the list can just go on the more you think about it. Worrying would be overstepping the thought itself, complicating the mental picture would make it even more cathartic. Bottom line is: itâs a surreal thing to actually be with someone whoâs ten times out of your league.Â
Some would also ask, whatâs your favorite thing about her?Â
Man, thatâs already a tough question as it is, so that one doesnât get answered easily.
Best that you could settle for is the way she presents herself. One day she walks in the classroom as if itâs the runway at Paris Fashion Week with the most jaw-dropping outfits created by the industryâs best designers - the next day she could walk in with the most casual, comfy fit ever created from the bedroom closet. From the makeup and hair color all the way down to her shoes and socks, sheâll magnetize anyone with low or high effort. Thereâs something in the way that she extends herself to others; the way her eyes widen at someone she knows, how the sun kisses her skin so tenderly - radiating richness and grandeur to compliment the addicting smile and laugh she possesses. When you look closely, you could also see the tiny hints of freckles spread across her cheeks; oh, and the moles, specifically underneath her right eye and off-centered to her nose, youâd kiss them for eternity if you had the chance to.Â
Itâs unfair how you canât compete with that.Â
How could a person thatâs on the cusp of making a whole worldâs difference with their life manage to get with a guy like you? Had it been anyone else in your position, theyâd be the happiest person on the planet, no denying that. There has to be an endless plethora of things that could serve a plausible reason to this, but out of everyone, she chose you.Â
(The standard she has. The status, the reputation, the talks that people have when sheâs strolling through the hallways and around campus.
Everyone can read the outside aspect, but within the inner circle, itâs a completely different conversation entirely.)
âAnd let me tell you this,â Kazuha says, leaning back on the seat with one leg over the other, âHe told me that and I quote, âI would go all night with you,â and he didnât. Came in about two minutes flat, maybe less.âÂ
Youâre facepalming hard while Kazuha pushes you close to the edge, almost offended by your reaction. The amount of stories with her short-term flirts and one night stands have gotten so bad to the point where, only a stark few of them were worthy enough of a debrief by you. This usually occurs on a weekend basis, you assess, not wanting any part of it after the first time it happened - and then the next, then the next, and the next one.Â
âHave you ever wondered like,â you ask while reaching forward for your glass half full of your usual liquor, âWanting to actually date with one of your fuck buddies, like for real?âÂ
âIâve thought about it,â Kazuha replies, sitting up with her phone facing flat across her thigh, âThe chance hasnât really come my way yet.âÂ
âIâm sure itâll come.â you tell her, downing another swig of the drink.Â
âYou think Iâve got a screw loose with how I act?âÂ
âAre you kidding me? Show me how many booty calls youâve got on your phone since Sakura hooked you up.âÂ
Kazuha sticks her tongue at you, pulling herself away from your reaching hand, laughing while sheâs practically got her feet up with the cushions now. A lean over more, and sheâs curling herself up into a ball while youâre looking around to see if anyoneâs paying attention.Â
âWe could get kicked out of here.â Kazuha says, properly sitting up while youâre hunching over to slip on the lent pair of bowling shoes, undoing the set knots and opening up the tongue of the shoe while the sounds of knocked pins echo underneath the blasting bass coming from the speakers.Â
âGet kicked out before we even get started?âÂ
âYouâre the one whoâs trying to grab my phone!âÂ
âI asked nicely.âÂ
âDidnât hear a âpleaseâ from you.âÂ
You roll your eyes, stamping a foot down lightly to ensure that the shoe fits perfectly as intended. Might be a bit tight on the back of the heel, but itâll do. Besides, this Wednesday-night planned hangout at the bowling lanes was on the agenda for quite some time, only put off because certain people have been busy with a few assignments from classes, which you canât blame them since the semester has been a bit stagnant midway through.Â
A look at the watch, and the time was a bit delayed than the intended arrangement. âWhereâs Chaewon and Sakura?âÂ
Kazuha checks her phone for any updates via notifications, âSakuraâs running late. Chaewon and her boyfriend just picked up Yunjin ten minutes ago. They should be here any minute now.âÂ
With that taken into account, you take small steps to the little control panel, looking up to the tv to put in the proper abbreviated nicknames for the competitors who have yet to arrive at the lanes. Thereâs a small sense of creativity amongst the five or six competitors: Kkura, Chae, Zuha, Jen Jen, yours (which is pretty bland for your taste, but Yunjin likes it), and whoever Sakura invited along with her if she brought them. âDidnât buy three to five games for nothing.âÂ
âYouâre literally the only one here that likes to bowl in their free time.â Kazuha deadpans.Â
âTell that to Chaewon and Sakura who competed in ping pong the last time.â you tell her, pressing some of the unresponsive keys that forces a typo on Sakuraâs, but you donât bother changing it back. âThose two will take up the last two games for sure. Put my money on it.âÂ
âNot even worth losing ten bucks for that.â Kazuha scooches over to the end of the seat, french fry hanging off her mouth, texting whoever it may be whether itâs one of her classmates or one of Sakuraâs flings being thrown down her pipeline. To be fair, itâs been about two weeks since she brought someone into the apartment, and sheâs quite overdue for a good dick appointment.Â
Whatever that may be, youâll pay no attention to that.Â
âSpeaking of which,â she continued, with a bowling ball in her arms, polishing it with the sleeve of her puffer jacket, âWhere is Yunjin? And why wasnât she with you in the first place when we left the apartment?âÂ
âItâs because she insisted on turning in our flash drive for the project we worked together on for one of our classes,â you answer, pressing a thumb down on the panel to finalize the names for the gameâs competitors, watching off in the distance as the machine barrier lifts up opening the ten bowling pins to the line. âI offered to go with her so that it shows the professor that we actually did a collaborative effort, but then you called me.âÂ
âOuch, sorry.â Kazuha winces, you wave her off with a shake of the head while she puts her preferred ball on the rails of the return system next to yours. A size seven ball with medium finger placements in comparison to your size ten with the large specified holes. You argued that weight was better than speed, and Kazuha was willing to bet who scores the highest with their preferred bowling ball pays the other personâs meal at the next outing. âIf youâd told me that before I bolted to my morning class, I wouldnât have called you.âÂ
âWasnât my fault you overslept your alarm three times,â you agree, chuckling. âTo be fair, I hate the alarm sound for your phone anyway.âÂ
âNot changing it anytime soon,â Kazuha says proudly, hands firmly in the pockets of her jacket, âLooks like youâre gonna have to deal with it.âÂ
âAnd Iâll cockblock your next dick appointment personally, just out of spite.â you say, and Kazuha frowns with a pout instantaneously.Â
Amidst the slow riff of the electric guitar lightly reverberates along the subwoofers hanging above the lanes. Thereâs a sudden surge of newcomers looking to simply let loose and have a good time. Itâs a Friday, middle of the semester, one of those weekends where youâre just mentally checked out from all the buzz between school and the extracurriculars and stress for the coming midterms. Thatâs how it is in this kind of environment: work hard, play harder.Â
While some are here to just take space in the pool tables, others are in the arcade to break the ice in the lines of a first date. Few people here are actually closet bowlers with a different avenue of profession holding them back from wasting their time rolling their life or something of that substance. Youâre tired with school, but it wonât be long until youâre walking in about a year or less, nothing wrong with having nights like these.Â
Your ears pick up on a familiar honey saccharine laugh, along with a string of bickers from a voice constantly sounding angry. A look slightly up to the walkways, and thereâs a quartet approaching your spot before the lanes. One of them in a vortex of blonde hair, hands gesturing behind someone else in front of her before slapping their back lightly. The girl in front with the same hair color has her brows furrowed, scrunching at the slight pain from their back, but also letting out signs of fun with good intent. Then thereâs the two individuals in tow behind the first duo; a girl with hair colored a mix of sunset orange and a dash of red along with a single guy whoâs slightly taller compared to the trio. You automatically connect the dots in your head to deduce that to be Chaewonâs boyfriend, and the other head towards you and Kazuha. Itâs an impending headache of bullshit heading your way, but youâve put up with it for so long and itâll happen again.Â
âYouâre late,â you announce, finger to the top of your wrist. âZuha and I have been here for the past twenty minutes.â
âFuck off,â Sakura sneers, shucking off her handbag to the seat while letting her lent pair of bowling shoes hit the hardwood. Her tone comes off as harsh - might be mistaken as someone to be antagonistic. To be fair, her and Chaewon have grown up together since they were little, wouldnât be normal if one didnât annoy the other to the point where both of them would have to draw knives. But youâll keep the popcorn behind your back until that moment comes, âTell that to Chaewon who almost ran my ass over in the parking lot.âÂ
âDid not!â Chaewon exclaims, already on the seat and untying her shoes while her boyfriend does the same, âItâs not my fault that you didnât look both ways before crossing!âÂ
âBoth of you guys need to chill,â Chaewonâs boyfriend chimes in, hoping to defuse the situation before it even gets worse, not paying any ounce of attention while slipping on to his pair of bowling shoes. âI thought we all came here to have some fun, did we not?âÂ
âWe did,â you sigh, gliding on over with a cup half full of the beer that you ordered for the group. Chaewonâs boyfriend looks up, slightly hesitant in taking the offer - knowing that if everyone in the group drank tonight, no one was assigned to be designated driver. So, he takes the cup, raises it to you in acceptance, and takes a quick sip. âItâs still on the table if the two most competitive people Iâve ever met can actually make up before going crazy with the game.âÂ
Chaewon and Sakura both look at you in disgust, simultaneously giving you the middle finger while you shrug, swiveling your head to the opposite direction to finally see the third girl that was with the group - the only person you were technically waiting for since arriving here, and she doesnât really need an introduction.Â
A walk up to her on the opposite bench that wasnât occupied by four people, and Yunjin matches your demeanor.Â
Itâs the most innocent look you could give her: a sheepish smile. She looks at you while youâre noticing a small speck of dust at the edge of her jacket before tending to her stray wisps of hair. The way she bats her eyelashes through those rimless pairs of glasses, itâs impossible to not notice the wideness her eyes zeroing in on you while playing the worrying boyfriend you are. Consider it to be a protocol - the smug smile across your face, and you havenât said anything to her in the opening five seconds of seeing her.Â
âMissed me that much?â Yunjin asks, slipping out of the lent leather jacket she swiped from your closet. âYou couldâve gone with me to turn in our assignment together.âÂ
âYou see, about that.â You got a hand on the jacket, tossing it over to the seat. âI would have, if Kazuha didnât egg me ten minutes before we left the house.âÂ
Itâs been merely more than five seconds, and the pleasantries are already skipped over; though thereâs a small exchange of smiles and ghosting hands - not wanting to taint the perfect appearance that Yunjin has, wandering eyes all over her like an art piece. Sheâs stolen your jacket, the shirt underneath was also one of yours from the closet; within all the lines of casual, she owns the category second to none.Â
Youâre rambling about how much of a pain it was bringing Kazuha, even though she wasnât even the sole person who planned this hangout in the first place. A second look at the shirt that Yunjinâs wearing and you point it out while dumping the exposition. She runs a hand through her hair, coming it downwards with her fingers while paying half attention to the words spilling out of your mouth. âDid I also mention that youâre wearing one of my favorite shirts again?âÂ
She just laughs, takes a few steps forward, gives you a quick kiss right then and there.Â
She also loves how that simple action shuts you up.Â
âYouâre missing something,â she tells you, fixing a few places of your hair while youâre standing there completely frozen.Â
Acknowledging with a nod, âYes, I did miss you that much.â Giving her a few light head pats while her eyes smile with content. âThank you for turning in our project for us. Iâll owe you my life.âÂ
âYou will,â she says, sitting down and untying her sneakers, âStill shouldâve gone with me though.âÂ
âI know.âÂ
âAre we gonna get this game started?â Sakura asks across the table, holding up a bowling ball that is clearly Kazuhaâs, but she doesnât care. âI just bet that if I beat Chaewon, sheâs buying all of us dinner when weâre done here!âÂ
âYouâre shit at ping pong, and Iâll kick your ass at bowling too.â Chaewon rebukes, clearly motivated now to not let that happen on her watch. âUnless pretty boy over there and his girlfriend want to join in the competition to make things more interesting.âÂ
âA double team against you two?â Yunjin inquires, finishing up the last lace on her shoe before standing up, walking over to the return system to see which ball to pick, âHow âbout whoever scores the lowest gets to pay for the meal. Deal?âÂ
âYouâre on,â you say, âBut Yunjinâs winning in a landslide over the three of us.âÂ
Sakura presses a few buttons on the touchpad, finally getting the long-awaited bowling game started.Â
(Yunjin wins by no surprise, Sakura nearly edges you out by single digits, and Chaewon came dead last which means: the meal was on her after the games.)
â
Each new week into the semester brings a new tale of challenges, assignments, and fun plans with peers in and out of the campus - except this time; however, because you fucked up.Â
The swing of the door into your apartment should already spell some sort of bad omen with the way that youâre frantically pacing into the kitchen, overlooking into the small opening to the living room, seeing Yunjin wrapping up her fifteen minute ab workout video, not paying any mind to while finishing the last few reps.Â
âBabe?â you call out while putting a thermos onto the countertop, one sweep over with a poking head to see her laying on the mat. âAh, right. Your workout.âÂ
Her brow furrows while trying to concentrate in holding the planking position, holding herself in place for another five seconds or so, finally falling flat when the timer goes, softly panting before sitting up and facing you. Sheâs in a sports bra and one of your sweatpants that pool at her feet - though the robbery complaint will get ignored.Â
Thereâs something about her being astonishingly pretty in homebody clothes. Hair in a low ponytail, lip lightly touched, thereâs a thin layer of sweat covering her upper body. Normally, youâd tell her to go take a shower right away. Youâre committing perjury for not telling her in the first place.Â
âYou took longer than expected,â she says, looking up to accept the greeting kiss while youâre towering over her. âWhere were you?âÂ
âHad to take care of some stuff outside class. And then I had to take care of something else,â you answer, backpack to the couch. âWhich leads me to my next thing that I have- no, need to tell you.âÂ
âHave you done something wrong?â Yunjin asks, standing up, eyes narrowed when she notices your worrying expression. Her hand dances along the hem of her sports bra when you help her up, while you tend to her messy hair as she tries to read into your body language.Â
âNo?â you tell her, hoping that answer would suffice for the time being.
It doesnât.Â
âWhat did you do now?â She frowns, eyes squinting closely together - pushing further into admitting what was going on. That was already strike one, and getting two more was never an option. âAs long as you tell me, I deserve to know at least.âÂ
âPromise you wonât be mad?âÂ
âCanât promise you that.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, you place both of your hands on her shoulders, guiding her down to sit with you on the couch while you take another momentary silence to gather your thoughts and words, hoping to bring the news up in the most sincere and serious way as you could.Â
âWell?â Yunjin asks again, prompting you to get on with it and drop the stalling.Â
âAlright,â you start, âDo you remember that uh- sex tape we made together last week?â Might be a dumb question, but how could either one of you forget? The look on Yunjinâs face says a whole lot more than what her answer might be, and sheâs grinning just thinking about it. âI thought you were serious aboutââÂ
âI am!â she exclaims, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks and the grip on your hands grow tighter, âBut what does that have to do with your-âÂ
âI know, I know. Stay with me here.â you assure before delivering the final blow.Â
You canât help but laugh while your finger presses softly to her lips. The memory itself is also flashing through your mind, how your hands grip around her ass with her back arched up, the way sheâs splayed on her back, filling her pussy up with your cock working its way down to her stomach. Bending her in half while her lovely heat clenches around you to the point where sheâs screaming. The assessment running behind Yunjinâs eyes and the glossiness tells you everything that there is to know about it. Her brows furrow again with an inward lip, thinking about the way she marks you up with scratches across your forearms and back, groaning into her ear while youâre shattering her into the mattress.Â
(Canât forget about the face she has while youâre fucking her rough - a string of pants and whines that go up in two ascending octaves, then diminishes to almost nothing, unraveling herself all over your dick when she locks you down with her ankles to the small of your back. Sheâs so helpless, especially when-
âFuck, yes baby, right there-â
More on that, eventually.)Â
âSo you mightâve turned that flash drive in to our professor.â you tell her, squeezing your eyes shut, bracing for a hit from Yunjin. âNot your fault though, this was all my doing.âÂ
âOkay,â she laughs in disbelief while doing this form of jazz-hands, âFirst of all, we can just ask to exchange it. Second of all, who the hell saves a sex tape on a flash drive? I mean, what the fuck were you thinking while setting up our final submission?âÂ
âI was looking at it while editing our project and I just got so caught up with the way your soft moans got to me in the recording and how your tits were justââ you remark, quivering with a grin while Yunjin scrunches her face at you.Â
âAnd what are we waiting for?â she asks, wrinkling her nose while laughing out loud. âEither we act now or get both of our asses expelled before we even get to graduate?âÂ
âIf all goes well, we should honestly be fine.â you tell her, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, hand quick behind your back to give her a face towel. âIf it doesnât, at least we can say that we tried to prevent this from happening.âÂ
âThis is your fault, by the way.â Yunjin says while taking your hand up and on the way out the door. âI was the one who turned our sex tape in supposedly, and Iâm gonna be the one to get it back.âÂ
The way that you donât even put up a refute to her, the way your feet carry themselves behind her, the loud âthumâ of the deadbolt outside the apartment should already be a sign of whatâs to come.Â
â
Youâd be amazed at how well youâve held your patience while Yunjin was doing all of the talking with the professor, trying to reason out as much as she could for just a simple exchange. For some reason, the man wouldnât even budge without the speculation of nothing being in the contents of the flash drive and considering the fact that it was the deadline.Â
âSir, if you could please just-âÂ
âSave it,â he says, pressing the bridge of his glasses up towards his face, âLook, I know that you two are of my brightest students in the class, but itâs just oddly suspicious that youâre asking me to swap out the turned in flash drive for another all because of some mix up?âÂ
âCanât you just not do that instead?â you ask, offering the proper flash drive to the professor. âYunjin and I have already proven to be your most esteemed students this semester, this small mixup just shows that thereâs that built trust from over the pastââÂ
âI understand that, but I just canât fathom that you two are pulling this over me at the very last minute right before I go over them,â the professor declares, âItâs too suspicious as it is and if worse comes to worse, Iâll have to report both of you to the deanâs office if we canât come up with a compromise here.âÂ
âBut sirââ Yunjin tries to butt in, hoping to reiterate the case.
âI expected more from you, Yunjin.â He says, leaning back on his chair, âIâm very disappointed in the way you are acting just now. This isnât like you, and I expected better.â
âBlame me instead of her.â you plead, standing in front to neutralize the hostility. âShe was turning it in for us in the first place.â The professor just scoffs mockingly, sputtering different kinds of insults that would be enough evidence for him to get fired, and thatâs where you reach the boiling point first.Â
âEnough of this nonsense,â the professor scowls while tossing the very flash drive Yunjin gave into the basket filled with the others. âYouâll get it back when Iâm done grading these come Monday. Now please, get out of my office before we really start to have an issue.âÂ
Before Yunjin opens her mouth to protest, you toss the correct flash drive into the professorâs chest, fishing into the basket to grab the other one resting atop of the pile. She picks up quickly to what you were doing, tossing a jar filled with pencils off the desk that leaves him in visible confusion, pulling her by the wrist and out the door where you and her make a break for it out in the hallway. Once rounding the corner, she starts giggling out of nowhere while youâre looking over your shoulder to see the small figure at the end of the corridor. Things take a turn for the worse when the sound of radio chatter could be heard coming up the stairs off your right, and on the opposite end was the janitor's closet. Any delay by more than two seconds would only spell disaster if you didnât yank her inside right away.Â
âFucking security,â you mutter, following the slam of the door and a press of the ear against the wood to get a better chance of hearing what was being said. Yunjinâs pressed close to you, meeting your gaze once the conversations faded out into the hallway. A sigh of relief leaves your lips while Yunjin again is trying not to laugh at what you two did. âOkay, I think theyâre gone, but we canât leave now. Thereâs too much commotion down near the office, so we gotta wait.âÂ
âI canât believe we just did that.â Yunjin breathes, hand to her chest to calm down her heart rate, still trying to come to grips with what just happened in the span of three minutes. âEven crazier that you managed to get the right flash drive.âÂ
âWell shit,â you tell her, hand out to see that the outer case of the flash drive had been damaged, much to your responsibility since you stepped on it by accident while stumbling over in the hallway. âExpulsion is out of the equation, but man,â you say, putting the damage back into your pocket, âThis sucks. I was hoping to save the contents in that drive.âÂ
âThis might be a good thing.â Yunjin tells you, reassuring.Â
âWhat makes you say that?â The sigh leaving your lips is laced with frustration, âI donât think- ugh, that was some of the best sex we had. Yunjin, I- you donât realize how hot that video was when I was looking at it and now? Itâs gone.â She looks at you in sympathy, pulling her lip inward while trying to calm down your clenched fists, trying to not let her thoughts get the better of her with the way your hands could grip her hair.Â
âSince weâll be here for quite a bit, why donât we get to work making a new one?â She asks with a chin tilt up, pressing your back against the door when her lips meet yours, taking you completely off guard by the contact.Â
Itâs a full on advantage for Yunjin in this case, swirling her tongue against yours, not willing to bear in mind when the feedback of a radio approaches near the door. Getting caught is one thing - but thereâs worse ways to go. You pull back from the lack of oxygen, a swipe of her upper lip to yours, warm breath hanging in the open space while you collect your thoughts. âY-Youâre gonna have to give me a minute here.â
âWhat for?âÂ
âIâm not complaining at all, but uh, whatâs with,â a giggle leaves your mouth, âthe affection, all of a sudden?âÂ
âNothing,â she replies, âIt was just hot- really hot. I just think you giving your piece of mind to him for me was probably the best highlight of our whole semester so farâŠâ Her voice trails off while her hand slithers down to your waking cock through your pants to cement down her thoughts. A hand pulls you by the nape of your neck to meet her lips again, moving sensually in the closed space, her mouth leaving these teasingly touches while sheâs assessing your length in languid pumps.Â
From the dazed expression in your eyes and swollen lips, youâre already entranced at the way sheâs sinking to her knees in front of you, the hitched breaths and slow shuffle at the pull of your sweats and boxers to the ankles. Yunjin softly gasps, a thrill that never gets old when she uncovers the length from itâs clothed chamber, licking her lip while all of her attention focuses in on your cock hanging proud between your thighs; the many things sheâs currently thinking about -Â and youâre not far off the thread of thinking too.Â
Youâre already imagining the velvety heat of her mouth while sheâs preparing for that familiar ache of taking you down her throat. Before she could have fun for herself, she pulls the zipper of her track jacket, revealing the same sports bra from earlier, pulling the tight piece up and over to reveal her tits, noticing the small twitch when she finally runs her fingers along the veins of your shaft, wrapping slowly while the jerk in your knees ends with a mouth curl from her.Â
âThe video would be really nice right now, wouldnât it?â she breathes, thumb grazing the slit of your tip thatâs soaked with a small hint of precum leaking, assessing the conditions with clinical precision every pump. Her eyes meet yours, already wild with imagination as she continues to stroke you softly. âBabe?âÂ
âNo- no phone.âÂ
âI brought mine with me, stupid.â Yunjin tells you, dropping the excitement from her face.Â
She laughs when youâre murmuring out these complaints, only for that to be ignored when sheâs quick to hand her phone to you. âYou were in a rush,â you reason, âDidnât have time to grab mine sitting on the kitchen countertop.âÂ
âWhat would you do without me?âÂ
âI have my right hand to do the job.âÂ
âAngle it properly,â Yunjin instructs, smirking at the gasp while she cradles your balls. âIs it in the right position?â Your hands steady over her head, pointing the camera while her gaze transforms into something more needy, someone whoâs desperately hungry to get herself satisfied. Itâs unbearably pretty the way she gets like this for you, pulling her lips inward to get them wet while your eyes are fixated through the phone screen, flexing your waist a bit in anticipation while her tongue licks up your cockhead - an appetizer of sorts, before finally taking you in.Â
Everything rushes and slows down the way her lips close around the third of your shaft. Not wanting to focus on whatâs happening below, you look up with eyelids fluttering shut at the way her mouth and tongue continue to lap up the length, eventually sliding down, easing more and more of you down her throat, coating your cock with her mouth the more she sinks. She knows all of the inner workings of what you love in blowing you.Â
âYunjin, fuck. Baby,â She intends to break you apart with her mouth, once she reaches down the base, holding you there while some of her saliva leaks out in repeating gags, hips twitching at the clench while her tongue sweeps underneath in a slow, consistent rhythm.Â
The vibrating hum she rumbles along the line of your cock, she steadily keeps up her pace while her ears pick up on the shallow breaths coming out of you. Forget about the video, or the noises that pick up in decibels - in addition to the back of your head hitting the door. Itâs always addictive the way her mouth sheathes your length, having no gag reflex was something amazing for Yunjin to have, repeatedly pulling her head back up and dipping back in to take you deep.Â
She grazes her teeth to a smile while your fingers thread through her hair, internalizing the pulse, that sweet heat of her mouth and how wet it is; the fucking suction, goddamnit. Her suction was way to fucking good for you to pay attention to. âThere. Y-youâre so good- great at- fuck-âÂ
Yunjin just hums to accept the compliment, pulling away to angle your cock upwards to put one of your balls in her mouth, lathering it in her spit. âCamera, tilting.âÂ
âYeah, yeah.â you say, lazily. A small fix of the phone in your hand finds her face right in frame, as she resumes her oral assault on your cock. The volume of moans increases slightly from her and you, highlighting how much youâre enjoying this while she hollows her cheeks halfway, taking you all the way down tight. Tighter. The sound of her throat clicking when your cockhead rests at the opening in her mouth, youâre furrowing your brows together while trying to keep it together as much as you could.Â
Pulling back slightly, tongue licking across the swollen head, she winks at you while youâre biting your lip so hard to the point that youâll probably draw blood from it the next second. Itâs not helping your situation - sheâs giving these subtle âmhmsâ when she slides you back into her mouth, eyes closing in bliss, upping the pace while youâre nestling a hand to the back of her head, dragging your cock along the top part of her mouth, forehead wrinkling in approval to let you know that she likes it.Â
Sliding you out for a second, âPut your shirt in your mouth.â She tells you, placing a precise kiss at the base while youâre staring at the screen. âYou listening?â
You just groan.Â
Her hand is quick to hike up the bottom hem of your shirt, rolling it up to put a clump of the cloth between your teeth, and she just laughs before inhaling your length again. Â
Youâre also trying to keep it together over the fact how much of a slut Yunjin gets for you, hoping that all of the button pushing will leave you into fucking her just exactly how she wants - youâll just stand there like a good boy she'll ask, using that pretty mouth over your cock for what feels like an entering until you bust inside that lovely hole just to fill the other one later.Â
The pop she does off of your cock is obscene, jerking your shaft while sheâs staring up, and the image on the screen is already something to capture for later.Â
âAre you liking this so far?â Yunjin asks, doe eyes doing very little for the heinous act sheâs committing, giving your underside scattered pecks mixed with slurps over your drool covered cock. âI can tell from your writhing face that you are.âÂ
âBitch.â you spit, a futile effort at best.
âFuck my mouth.â She orders, inhaling your cock down - all the way, clasping her lips to the base. You clench your teeth together, get your hand to her head again. Her eyes go wide in content while you slowly thrust up with her against your hips still, slacking her jaw to let you build up some speed to bury your dick in her throat.Â
Doesnât take much long, mouth hanging in awe by the way sheâs pulling up and out and going back in. A few good thrusts is all it takes to get the perfect pressure and suction around your cock, spit leaking out of her mouth while youâre finally getting your work cut out the more she gags around you. That fucking tongue is your worst enemy - the way that itâs licking up underneath a few times, one of the key ways to get you to finally open up that eventual bursting drain from within.Â
âJen,â you hiss while fighting the urge to bust at the nickname alone, pushing her down while the moan she elicits over your dick throbs in her mouth, nearly breaking, âGonna just, fuck, âm so close-âÂ
âMhm.âÂ
The spit remains where its at while pleasure surges through your body, grinding your teeth to mask the heated groan while you cum down her throat, spilling copious amounts of your release into the hollow of her throat, feeling the languid clench past the opening while sheâs swallowing it all. Her eyes go wide for a second at the load, closing them soon after as you manage to keep it together from your high, coming down when she slides herself off of you, coughing a bit while your knees jerk together in a millisecond of shock. Some of your cum spills out of her mouth and dribbles down between her tits, keeping the camera angle on her surprisingly while your cock floats right in front of her face. Yunjin leans forward to give a peppered kiss to the tip, collecting some of the remnants that rest at the slit before retreating, fingers treating the damage of her soaked and swollen lips.Â
âThanks for that.â she says, chuckling, wiping off some of the evidence with her knuckles while blinking in quick succession, looking up at you fondly with those enormous bark eyes of hers while you stop the recording to hand her a piece from the brown paper towel roll sitting on the shelf, helping her up soon after while youâre fixing your clothes. âTold you that it was worth killing time for.âÂ
âLooks like I owe you again for this,â you tell her, treating the drawstring of your sweats to a knot. âIâll peek out to see if weâre in the clear.â Soon after you said that, you lean your head out the small opening of the door, realizing that there wasnât anyone within a close distance in the hallway, stepping out and helping Yunjin out the closet, feeling out her jaw with her knuckles, trying to memorize the ache of her mouth you just gave her.Â
âWe should get going, no?â She asks, hand to your shoulder while youâre about to enter the stairway. âAnd Iâm holding you to that returned favor, since youâre gonna fuck me till I need to be in a wheelchair.âÂ
âIsnât that part of the fun weâre doing already?â you rebut, grabbing her hand, âThe sooner we get back home, the faster Iâll make you cum, deal?âÂ
Youâre a silly idiot the way youâre pulling Yunjin by the wrist, picking up the pace while her smile was impossible to take off. Sheâs laughing again at the proposal, but also very looking forward to it.Â
â
The thing about Yunjin, you learn, for the most part, is how sheâs painted to be this great girl that is only primed for success - and nothing less.Â
What others donât realize, is the conventional pains and struggles she poses towards you -Â to the point where that agonizing migraine in your head just keeps on ringing. And sure, sheâs the top student and role model amongst peers for a reason, showing up where it matters; but when it comes to the actual long hours of grinding schoolwork and building up her own life bit by bit, itâs within the walls of your apartment where the real stuff takes place.Â
A clean room at the beginning of the week, only for it to be completely ran through like a tornado and all over the place come Sunday.Â
In terms of assignments? Sheâs clean, all across the board - with the rare occasion of one class slipping out of her mind if youâre not there to remind her or bail her out since some subjects in her schedule are not her forte, but youâll help out where you can.Â
The standard that sheâs always trying to raise, for the most part, is the sex. Always the sex was the emphasis. She tries and you try, getting one over another or deal with whoever is going through it the most, especially if Yunjinâs the one whoâs got a higher sex-drive than you, not that youâre putting it up for an argument, but willing to compete when present. Whether sheâs looking for it or you are, sheâll find a way to push that idea into reality no matter if youâre with her or not.Â
âThis better be important,â a familiar line youâve been saying for quite a bit as of recently. âCouldnât let me go for a few hours to have some fun with the rest of the guys?âÂ
âWhen are you gonna be back?â She asks, and the tone in her voice comes as peculiar the way she sounds out of it. âIâve been reading this stupid book before Kazuha and the others came back with some snacks.â Thereâs some laughter in the background, probably someone bickering over some gossip that happened earlier in the week that was sufficient enough to report. âBless Kazuha, for getting me out of the room at least to socialize.â
âI thought that would kill more time for you while Iâm gone.âÂ
âIt has, but everyoneâs gone now. And Kazuhaâs in her room asleep already.âÂ
âAnd you?âÂ
âIn bed, trying to watch this series, but I miss you.âÂ
âArenât you cute.â You muse.Â
There isnât anything to be considered unusual with conversations like these over the phone or text. In all fairness, you did kind of feel bad for leaving her alone for a few hours since there were already plans made as it is, but Yunjinâs pouty face did everything it could to stop you until you left.Â
âI miss you. Can I not admit that?â She sighs. And youâre probably painting the picture of her being in one of your shirts, laid back on the bed or sat criss-cross - doing literally anything to keep herself moving as you two prolong the conversation.Â
One of the guys bumps you on the shoulder, hinting that theyâre walking on ahead from the bar. You nod and start walking with them, clearing your throat before answering, âWhat if I told you I feel the exact same way? You can add on from that, Iâm pretty sure.âÂ
âGod, the slight change in your voice when youâre trying to make me work,â she says, grinning while you continue to keep the steady walking pace. âMaybe if you can excuse yourself before the new hour, Iâll let you tie me up to the bed.âÂ
âYunjin. Christ-âÂ
âIâll let you know right now that I have nothing underneath your shirt at the moment. Just for good leverage.âÂ
Oh, itâs another challenge alright. Two can play at this.
âWhich shirt?â You ask, gauging the image forming in your head. âI forgot to give you thanks for doing the laundry earlier after, yâknow.âÂ
âThis old shirt from that thrifting run we did. And you can thank me in other ways.â Yunjin says, humming as you can tell exactly what sheâs doing. âIâm already imagining it, what youâll do to me if you get home fast enough.âÂ
âLike what,â you breathe, the huff going into the microphone that has her mixing her giggle with a half-moan in between. âIâm a visual learner, but I need details to set the picture right.âÂ
Thereâs a quiet whine heard when you stop at the intersection, turning yourself away so that no one else in the group can pick up your current phone call, or at least have the frame of mind to ask you whoâs on the other end. The stiff breaths on Yunjinâs side pick up in a loose rhythm. Itâs no surprise; sheâs slowly touching herself, and you can picture it. Forming the image of her hand between her thighs, letting her long figures slide in and out with a bit of a twist, increasing the sound of slick.Â
âIâm picturing your hand, thumb on my clit, getting me dizzy.â
âAnd?âÂ
âHow youâll stretch my tiny pussy out, pressing my back down while Iâm screaming into the mattress.âÂ
âI will. What else?âÂ
âYour cock-â she says, âYour lovely cock, how your hands roam across my body. Marking my skin up with your mouth and teeth in all the ways that I like it,â Yunjin inhales deeply, and you can visualize the arch in her back when she bottoms herself out, â-no idea, how good youâd look inside of me, right now. Bending me over the bed, riding you out, until you fuck me deep, using me just to get yourself off. The way you, fuck- get so addicted to me.âÂ
âI know.â You tell her, looking both ways while crossing, âHow many fingers did I get inside of you? Remind me again, three?â As youâre asking, one of the guys looks back in shock at what was said out loud, winking at them while nodding in approval. They know, besides, itâs the unspoken bro code.Â
âThree,â she whines, letting you know sheâs limit testing herself with three of her fingers inside her pussy. âYour fingers are better, and maybe we can try four. The offer is still on the table.âÂ
This fucking girl. âWhatâs my time limit here?âÂ
Yunjin sounds unorganized, humming and breaking a whine. âCome back any later than eleven, and you donât get to cum inside of me. Iâm gonna get so close till you get here, and Iâll let you finish in my mouth as mercy.âÂ
You click your tongue, convinced of the fact that youâre cornered for now, but it wonât matter if the end of the deal is held; with gritting teeth, Yunjin giggles at the assertion that youâll fuck her senseless if thatâs she wants. Thereâs nothing wrong with that declaration, since sheâs the one who started all of this anyway.Â
âAlright, pretty boy. Thirty minutes.â Is all she says, and then hangs up. A second later she sends a picture of her reflection in the mirror, legs raised and spread apart like a normal split, a string of slick to be clearly seen.Â
A look at your watch. The dinner you attended with the guys was at seven. Itâs thirty minutes until eleven. Youâre not far from the apartment from where youâre at, and as luck would have it, one of the guys was looking to call his night early. Even better when heâs living in the same apartment complex as you; all you need to figure out is how to convince him to rush back home.Â
While breaking away from the group, the bro code comes into play again, and apparently his girlfriend sent him nudes while eating earlier. Not exactly sure why he would show you a picture of his naked girl in the first place but hey, great minds think alike.Â
â
You kinda blame Kazuha for making Yunjin like this at times.Â
Not your fault however, since the pair of them conveniently share a brain cell together whenever Yunjin stops by your shared apartment with Kazuha to stay over and chill. From what you can recall, these two have been best friends up until middle school; Kazuha went overseas to pursue her passion for ballet while Yunjin was focusing on the performing arts - and in a way, they were still tethered together despite being miles and miles apart across the globe.Â
(Call it a fine pairing of toothbrush and toothpaste, but the connection you saw what these two had was something to admire.)Â
âYou sure you donât want a bite?â Kazuha asks, opening up the styrofoam box to reveal a set of six takoyaki pieces. Yunjin sits next to her on her phone, switching between apps in record time from the socials to her emails, a mean look to her face when she looks at the grade from her art project, a perfect score to the narrowing eyes as if she herself couldnât believe her own work.Â
âSave one for me,â you answer, getting up from the lounge seat to migrate towards the kitchen, hoping to satisfy your food cravings with a light snack to slowly administer the growing appetite. âYunjinâs the one who suggested getting takeout in the first place so I think you two should at least have most of it for yourselves.âÂ
âI told you ordering eight was better than having six,â Yunjin scoffs, scraping Kazuhaâs shoulder while lowering the plastic bag to pull the other foods that they ordered from their go-to place that was on the outside of campus. âNow, are we gonna eat this together or are you gonna give me another play-by-play with your sex shenanigans for the tenth time.âÂ
You roll your eyes while ripping the wrap of the instant ramen, âZuha, who was it this time?âÂ
âUh, none of your business?âÂ
âIt should most definitely be my business if I canât find the fucking cable to my keyboard,â you retort, frowning while Kazuha flips you off with the middle finger. âI already had to scold Yunjin for stealing my pants, bleaching them by accident, and then giving it to Sakura for her fashion project.â Cocking your head over, you see Yunjin set up her phone for the mukbang theyâre about to do, the tripod already centered between the two of them on the table and the pair already fixing up their hair a bit to make it presentable. âPlease donât tell me you got that on camera.âÂ
âBloopers.â Kazuha adds, âIâll let Sakura know to return your pair of pants later with this clip.âÂ
âEnough talk,â Yunjin says, pulling a takoyaki out and hovering it over her other hand. âThink we can eat this in one bite?âÂ
âReady to do this?â Kazuha asks.
âLetâs go.â Yunjin answers.Â
Youâre muttering to yourself behind the counter: âThe food is still hot, you idiots.âÂ
âI think weâll be okay,â Kazuha replies, leaning closer to the camera with her piece of takoyaki, âMight be a little dangerous, but weâre gonna do it anyway.â Youâre trying to fight the snort in your throat while youâre looking over to see both of them eat it, getting two solid bites into the delicious snack while youâre still watching them.Â
Kazuha leans back, covering her mouth while Yunjin hollows her cheeks, lips slightly open, breathing out hot air. Both of them move in opposite directions, but Kazuha follows Yunjinâs movement, keeling over to the right side. While that was happening, the table shifted from underneath, moving the camera and causing it to tip over to their right side as well. Soon after, Yunjinâs quick to sit back up and fix the phone to make it stand upright, laughing while Kazuhaâs face literally goes beet red from the hot food.Â
Rolling your eyes, you continue to make your own, paying no attention to the girls in the living room. You hear them arguing over how the takoyaki was still hot when Kazuha claimed that it wasnât, âI thought you checked that these were already cooled down.âÂ
âAnd I told myself that it wasnât going to be that hot still, but itâs that hot!â Yunjin says, mouth full while Kazuha is trying to fan her face.Â
Youâre leaning over again with the steam from the pot rising to your face, âIâll have that one extra piece for me,â telling Yunjin with a cracked grin, âThank you very much.âÂ
â
(Kazuha claimed a while back one night, whilst youâre trying to conjure up a preliminary profile with the new phone number sitting in your phone, that there is someone who is equally bad as her. In terms of bad, youâre assuming that in all the ways Kazuha falls under. The appearance only shows half the tale when it comes to Yunjin; until your first date with her at the end of the week, of course.Â
Youâre also making the counterargument that Kazuha didnât even tell you that she and Yunjin were close friends in the first place, accusing her that the piece of information was âneed to knowâ leading up to the interaction later on with Yunjin in class that day.Â
âIâm telling you this now,â she says, stealing your onion ring from your fingers before you could even get a bite to it, âSheâs a freak just waiting to be let out.âÂ
âYouâre serious?â you say at the time, keeping eyes locked with Kazuha with a nursing cup of milk as your nightly beverage. The soft slurp is just audible enough to hear through your ears, âSheâs a lot like you in the way that she acts.âÂ
Kazuha bobs her head in agreement, âTrust me. Her and I did a lot of experimenting and research, even though we were like- in our teenage years, but you get the point.âÂ
Then you run a hand to your face, recalling every single characteristic with your fingers while Kazuha grabs another onion ring from the bowl. âOkay, so itâs like this: sheâs sweet, has this sort of attitude if she doesnât get what she wants, needy, doesnât clean up after themselves especially when it comes to their laundry, and self-absorbed with the help of their friends.â Â
âOuch. Who the hell hurt you?â Kazuha tuts, flipping you off with a stray onion ring thrown at you. Youâre laughing, but itâs all good vibes and jokes with your roommate.Â
âYouâre right,â she says soon after, âBut donât say I didnât warn you.â)
â
All credit to Kazuha, for slightly playing the role of matchmaker. Though, itâs already a difficult task to do in dealing with her around the house - now imagine with two Kazuhaâs, figuratively speaking. The only contrast is, Yunjinâs outlook may be similar to Kazuhaâs, but sheâs entirely different that's way more appealing to you.Â
She breaks the pattern in your life in a lot of ways you donât expect.
â
Unhinged.Â
That could be-Â
âLet me hear you moan, baby. I need to know how much you like this.âÂ
-one sure way to describe it.Â
Yunjinâs voice rasps against your ear, while the only thing thatâs pooling through your eyes is the carmine shade of hair, while her back is pressed against the door of the stall in the gentlemenâs room. Itâs some mixer that Sakura and Kazuha insisted that you two come along for fun; some alcohol is in the system, maybe itâs the heat from the amount of bodies on the dance floor, you donât really remember how you got to this position - not that it really mattered.Â
Sheâs got one of her long legs wrapped around you, a hand firmly grasped to the back of your neck while your is well worked past the elastic of her panties, curling a finger inside her that makes her sing these wondrous hums and whimpers, watching has her half-lidded eyes glisten in the low light hanging above; and those thickly rimmed specs of hers, the glance alone makes you want more of her. Itâs incredibly ethereal how she looks when her lids flutter shut, swollen lips half open when youâre edging her out even harder, cheeks flushed while sheâs doing this pliĂ© motion on her single foot, hoping to fuck herself more with your fingers - sliding in and out in a steady motion for as long as she could hold it.Â
âFingers babe,â she breathes, nose wrinkling while youâre massaging her clit with your thumb, sinking all over her weight onto your hand. Her glasses slide off the bridge of her nose slightly, pressing it up before shooting her hands down to the button of your pants, feeling the hard line of your cock against the cloth, fumbling with the button until she successfully takes it apart. âYes, right there, ugh, god, please, donât stop..âÂ
âDonât you know I never will,â you tell her, twisting your face over to get her lips on yours again, attacking her neck while you manage to get her pussy to clench around your fingers more. âYouâre a greedy little girl arenât you? Wanting to get fucked in a place like this.âÂ
âYes. Yes.â Yunjin nods, compounding the right words while squealing with the drag upwards to her stomach, âIâll let you do anything to me, please, fuck me right here, I donât give a shit if somebody walks in, I want them to hear you fucking me with your cock.âÂ
The wistful inhale of breath through your lips is a moment of satisfaction, the second she gets her fingers wrapped around your cock, gently. She likes playing this little game with you, the kind of game to get you in the right mindset to where youâll drop all sensibilities with the sole intention - the only intention: to have you fucking her like itâs the one purpose youâre all good for with Yunjin. It can go both ways, but more often than not, itâs always her thatâs the one to get you over that sheer line of craziness, fueled by the reverberating sounds of her moans bouncing off the walls and words ordering you to put your cock inside her, pull you in to this inescapable black hole of lust that youâll come back to again and again and again.Â
âSo-â you shut her up with a kiss that she hums in content, âfucking needy.â And when you slip your fingers out of her warm cunt, that should solidify the commitment to finally build on what youâre working towards.
Until Yunjin takes your matters into her own hands.Â
The moment comes to you much like in a black flash; a blink and youâll miss it type of deal. One second youâre pinning Yunjin to the door of the stall, the next second sheâs pinning you to the door with her hands yanking your pants down, stroking your hard cock thatâs already leaking with every pump.Â
âDidnât you want me to, shit-â you try to ask, Yunjinâs lips making you not think straight, the intoxicating flavor filling your tastebuds, pulling your bottom lip slightly while shoving you deeper into the door. âI thought you wanted-âÂ
âShut up and relax,â she says, lowering herself to her knees as youâre getting vivid flashbacks to the exact same thing she did in the custodianâs closet a while back. âCanât let you have all the fun now, can I?â Â
Itâs funny how Yunjin enticed and waltzed her way into your life, without really selling anything significant until shortly after, to where she would find herself as this pliant puddle of wobbling lips and uneven moans; only to have the whole persona completely shifted to where youâre the one getting thoroughly fucked over, and falling for it every single time.Â
Never gets old, really.Â
Youâre still trying to process whatâs happening, maybe it could be the buzz whirling around your head, as this vibrant hum of the flickering light over you in the menâs bathroom keeps you conscious. When you look at Yunjinâs gorgeous eyes, almost like sheâs stargazing into yours, it doesnât help with the obscene act of her jerking your throbbing cock, lathering it lightly with those delicate flicks of her tongue starting at the base, working her way up while you can feel the beads of sweat start to trickle down from your forehead. Sheâs basically asking for it: to wrap those plump lips around your cock, use her mouth as the sole bucket for you to spill inside, make you forget about any current worries plaguing your mind.Â
Sheâs leaving these scattered chaste kisses across your shaft before pulling away, licking her lips slightly, mewling when she decides to play with you a bit longer, catching one of your balls into her mouth. The whole half of your upper body shifts, almost unsure what to do while her hand glides across your length with the help of her spit coating it. She rests just underneath the tip, puckering up at the sensitive area while your grip on her shoulder gets tighter. Itâs the fucking drag, the way she traces her fingerstips and tongue, sheâs so fucking evil.Â
âThose fucking glasses,â you grit, hand ghosting to the right side of her head like youâre trying to prevent some piece of artwork from falling, potentially ruining it. âYouâre not thinking about taking them off anytime soon, are ya?âÂ
âThis is my favorite pair,â she muses, raising a hand up to your chest while her soft lips slips the head of your cock into her mouth, a prelude for whatâs to come. âWonder how I would look with your cum on them.âÂ
âFucking. Filthy.âÂ
âHad enough yet?â Yunjin asks, teeny bit tipsy in her voice as she laughs, âDonât try to think so hard this time.âÂ
All of that tension in your fists suddenly goes away when Yunjin finally dips her head down, deep, deeper, where your hand shifts from her shoulder into her hair, slippery hot and soothing the more she bobs at the gradual pace. Your eyes canât help but zero their focus on the perfect glide her lips have over your shaft, increasing the suction every pull back and up till the back of your head hits the laminate behind you. Itâs a recurring lesson youâre learning each and every single time: the moment Yunjin has your cock in any way, she intends to unravel you with her hands, her lips, her pussy; sheâll get what she wants, all you have to do is just take it.Â
âFuck.â Is a word you can manage to say; the only word youâll keep saying, for that matter.Â
âMm?âÂ
Yunjin, is a perfectionist, an artist ready to give a jaw dropping performance; the way that her lips continue to slather up your cock, drawing back just past the tip, hollowing her cheeks slightly that makes you slap your free hand to the door to let her know that youâre teetering towards absolute chaos. She freezes for a second, just to build suspension, before picking up where she left off, taking you back into the unbelievable heat of her mouth, deepening the angle right to the base, until her nose grazes your hips, keeping you in her throat, feeling the first twitches get to you.Â
And when she looks up with your whole length, the gaze is undeniably impossible to break away from. Sheâs reading into the shallow breaths leaving your mouth, how your chest does these irregular motions when she ups the sensual pace to something desperate, working you with the added twist of her hand, jerking you while some of her shoulder is exposed from the leather jacket she was wearing. Youâll mark up that collarbone sooner in here or later at home, itâll happen.Â
Few minutes pass for what feels like an eternity, she releases your cock from her mouth, returning back to your balls while she strokes you with your free hand, purring at times that you can barely hear due to the loud music right outside the bathroom. âJen, you look so fucking good like that.âÂ
âLike it when I get your cock all fucking sloppy for me?âÂ
âGod-âÂ
She forces your right hand to a bundle of her hair, you follow the natural instinct to make it into a ponytail or bun or at least something to hold onto when she takes your cock back into your mouth. No verbal cue, just the implication is enough to know what she wants and what you like, simple as that.Â
Just when you think youâve kept yourself safe from the immeasurable amount of pleasure filling your mind, tensing up your balls and stomach to ensure that you can hold out as long as you could, the eyes and ears can only register her head bobbing back and forth in a consistent rhythm, hypnotized at the sound of those gags sheâs making along your shaft.Â
Youâve got two hands in her hair, hips thrusting while pulling her head back in to meet in the middle. Thereâs a slight adjustment of tilting her chin up, so that you can shove your cock a little deeper. Thank God that youâve secluded yourselves away from the crowd, not wanting anyone to see the campusâs âit girlâ take your cock so well into her throat. Nobody knows this side of her, except for you, and youâll keep that to yourself. Here you go, youâre telling her, keep gagging on my cock like this. God, you look so amazing, holy shit, I canât with your mouth, it feels so damn good.Â
Thank the stamina youâve built over time, holding out long enough while Yunjin continues her relentless assault on your cock, inhaling it every chance she gets. Sheâs got two hands dancing along the soaked shaft, hoping that the heat and friction combined would be the final push to make you bust right here and now. Itâs happened before, and sheâll make you cum like this again; all you have to do is just let her.Â
And so you say:Â
â-jin, Iâm gonna fucking cum.âÂ
Those enhanced eyes with those glasses of hers shoot up in excitement, popping her mouth off the head of your cock, furiously jerking it to no avail, with the only thing left to do is to break you. Your knuckles are probably white from the death grip youâve got to her hair, but all youâre feeling is the flattened tongue sheâs swiping on the underside, right at the tip until the contraction was too much to bear, and you let go.Â
In most cases like this - thatâs how everything goes.Â
The face she makes is probably one of the most angelic expressions youâve seen of her, the way her mouth opens in acceptance while her eyelids flutter shut. You let go in sudden pulses that diminish into jittery jolts, every sash of cum shooting out of your slit paints across the scaffold of her glasses, glazing her lens with the sound of content leaving her lips. An obscene image, thereâs cum everywhere across her face, on her lips, some of it got to her eye, and in her hair; the sensation of pleasure gets driven out as your shaft moves gently on her face, giving exactly what she wants, to see you ruined.Â
âGood fucking job, pretty boy. There we go.âÂ
The sigh that leaves your lips is much like a weight lifted off your shoulders. Eyes soon gandering down at the shimmering image of this devil in a daydream or something straight out of your fantasies, darting their tongue out and about with a smug grin spread across their face, with a pair of glasses in their hand with enough messy evidence to conclude that âwow, you actually came so much for meâ kind of deal was indeed, wow.Â
Sheâs humming along this little victory in her throat when you check her phone for the time, only for it to be snatched from your hands and-
The selfie session is actually salacious.Â
Yunjin shifts along the bathroom floor, next to your cock, camera angle ready and snapping away at the work that was just done on her. The poses she makes, puckered up lips and angling your delicate cock as the additional prop is just downright insanity from her. And you imagine if school wasnât really her kind of style, then the other line of profession that you know exactly what would definitely suit her well. Sheâs a slut in the making, oh wait- she already is one.Â
âAre you done?â you ask, moving your head around to ensure that thereâs blood flow while you have a hand down to help Yunjin up, âI think itâs a good idea to go home now.âÂ
When she finally stands up, she puts back the cum covered glasses on her face, scrunching her nose while some of the evidence on her forehead, cheeks, and chin just stay where it's at; almost like a wax candle after being blown out. That beautiful face is completely yours to ruin, and youâre contemplating on whether she should back out to the club like that.Â
âWe should,â she says, while a stray hand grabs yours, feeling the plane of creamy skin underneath across her waist, slipping underneath her tube top to feel the hard nub of her nipple. Her head lolls a bit with the same glint in her eyes, and it only tells one thing: this girl wants more. âIf you want to leave already.âÂ
Something snaps inside you, like a gear clicking in your brain to get it moving again. Legitimately, fuck. Sheâs got you all wrapped around her long finger, that pretty face thatâs just been defiled and fucked upon that most of her mascara is dripping at the sides because of her tears; youâve filled one hole in her body, whatâs wrong with one more?
So you swivel her around, press the front over her body to the door of the stall, strip off that annoying and bulky biker jacket she stole from your closet, pull her top to where all of her lower back could be seen in the dim light. Her hands are quick to slip out of her pants, just enough to where you see the fine curve of her ass, pulling her hips out so that you can get the right position to slide your cock into her. She tiptoes a bit slightly to make the process easier, and she gets you-
âSir,â she breathes, gasping out at the fufillment, âYour fucking cock-â Her head dips down while your length continues to part her walls. Itâs already a good thing that sheâs wet, but some of the leftover drool thatâs damp around the skin of your shaft, makes everything in her cunt just that wetter. Itâs slow, drawn out, and pure delight.Â
âYour cunt, babe.â Youâre gritting out, and you hear the bathroom door swing open to the laugh of a group of guys. The drag back is only met with the harsh drive back in, causing Yunjin to yelp out in pain. The group of guys sound confused at first, but itâs the audible slap of her ass that you make soon after solidifies the hint, and they hush each other to make sure that what theyâre hearing is legit.
She whines at the second or third slap while the guys standing outside the stall murmur in confusion, shuffling out of the bathroom while the pitches in her moans pick up along with your pace, grabbing a handful of her hair to pull her head up, angling the curve of her back where youâre sinking deeper.Â
âGod, baby, I canât-â she gasps out, feeling it all the way down that plush crevice of her pussy. Sheâs gotten so slick to the point where the glide feels effortless.Â
âUh huh,â you mumble, mind already drifting to a plane where youâd never see yourself return to. Yunjin has an outreaching hand backwards to somewhere along the top of your thigh, hoping to grasp with what little brain power she has while getting railed, your grip at her hips - how your fingertips are scraping along the fine skin, the visible red shade across the canvas of her ass when the light flickers for a moment before youâre drowned in darkness. âJust shut up and take it, like the little slut that you are.âÂ
Sheâs spilling out words and words of nonsense, giving you the limitless praises that youâll hear again and again, telling how perfect you are, with that fat fucking cock, choking up her cunt in all the places and spots where she knows youâll hit, the sounds of the slaps fading out from your ears like a soldier experiencing shellshock, penetrating her poor pussy untilâ
âI can feel you t-throbbing, please-âÂ
Christ, youâre cumming for a second time now. Yunjinâs hushed screech fills your ears while you pull out of her cunt, painting her ass across the slick skin. Sheâs pulling up the bottom of her leather jacket, hoping that you wonât hit, but you do. These white ribbons youâre spurting across the place will be a sight to behold; the things that this woman does to you, fist still wrapped tight around your cock while youâre seeing stars in the back of your head.Â
âJesus shit, Yunjin,â you warble, âfuck, I canât believe- ugh.â She shelters her face beneath the red curtain of hair, slouching forward while youâre holding her at the hips still, thumb rubbing across the sides while the words coming out of her mouth are still incoherent, still in the utter awe of the defiling act that was committed in this bathroom stall.Â
(Shit, youâre saying, we forgot about Kazuha and Sakura. What would they think? The look on their faces when they see Yunjin completely soaked in cum, theyâll probably congratulate her, considering the kind of freaks they are.)Â
Yunjin finally stands up, guiding your hands to the bottom of her waist, twisting her head back so that you can inhale the sweet stench of sex emitting from her body, grinning with no care in the world. Itâs unreal how she is, but youâll chalk up a final thesis down the line.Â
âIâll say this again,â she tells you, turning around to let you have a closer look of her face still drenched in your cum, âLove it when you cum so much for me.âÂ
âYouâre not serious about walking out of here looking like this.âÂ
âI am.â She projects, dropping her frames a bit slightly so that her eyes can hover above, âThis is proof that Iâm yours to the world. Now let's get out of here with Kazu and Sakura so that they can know what you just did to me.âÂ
â
Predicting Yunjinâs next move or quirk is practically a dice roll at times.Â
Most times, itâs pretty easy and straightforward with all of the usual activities and shenanigans around school or at home. Sheâll be in the cafe with you, buzzing her lips while youâre sitting across from her editing something for a commission or writing up a paper that will work towards a letter of recommendation if you pick and choose your professors wisely. Youâll look up to see that rich smile, something that will send your heart beating away double time from the first glance. Maybe on the way back home sheâll sneak a candid picture of you doing absolutely nothing, and sheâll adore it because youâre just being yourself.Â
On other occasions, sheâll come pin you down or bring something up unprompted. All it really just takes is a simple conversation to get it going.Â
âHey, youâre done?â she asks, standing in the kitchen one night, whipping up one of your favorite comfort foods that will always be the problem solver: smoked salmon mixed with some vegetables. âThought that you were never gonna come out of that room alive.âÂ
âYeah,â you answer, ruffling the back of your head while your feet scrape across the hardwood, âThat portfolio was a little bit tough to get started, but itâs almost there. Stomachâs killing me anyway so-âÂ
âCame just at the right time. Itâs finished, have a seat.â
Thereâs something domestic with this style of living youâve constructed. Wondering, maybe through the little hole in the lock of a door, what it would be like for you and Yunjin to have a place together. With stable incomes and the space wide open enough for literally anything and everything that you and her could imagine together. Itâs all there, but itâll be a matter of time before you cross that bridge.Â
Yunjin twists around, smitten at the fact that youâre sitting across from her with your head resting on your hand, just watching from afar while your girlfriend is doing one of the most plain acts in cooking. Sheâs in your hoodie, a bit oversized to where it covers past her hips, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, thereâs a soy sauce stain on it where the pocket is - you just wore that yesterday, but itâs fine. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âBecause I can?â you answer, stifling a laugh.Â
She ruffles her messy bun a bit (since she knows thatâs your one true weakness), putting the wooden spoon in her hand to her mouth, tipping it along her chin, scanning your expression with narrowing eyes, pulling her bottom lip inward slightly, clearly not satisfied with the vague reason.Â
âAre you thinking about me naked?â She asks, tilting her head to the left. âI can see you imagaining it right now.âÂ
âNo.â
âYou are, arenât you?â
With you saying nothing, the staring doesnât help and itâs telling her otherwise.Â
âYouâre already imagining it!â She exclaims, pulling the wooden spoon in her hand back, nearly ready to throw it at you. All you give her is the simple shrug with your shoulders, proving her suspicions right, but youâll be proud in not hiding things from her, especially if it leads to sexual escapades later.Â
âGo wash your hands, dirty boy.â Yunjin instructs, giving a âshooingâ motion with her other hand while youâre standing up from the chair, not saying a word but using your face and arms to dispute her claim, despite being completely right and youâre picturing her not wearing anything beneath your hoodie anyway. âI canât have you fucking me later if the tank is empty.âÂ
Softly laughing, you give her a pfft underneath the sound while looking away, already twisting your body towards the dark hallway where the bathroom is. âI was thinking about something else,â you tell her, cocking your head to refute her observation, âbut I was also picturing you naked without my hoodie.â
âMhm, okay. Sure.â she says, giggling while youâre walking away defeated, looking at her phone resting on the counter while you make headway to the bathroom. âDonât spend too much time in the bathroom with your hand, by the way.âÂ
She notices the middle finger youâre giving behind your back, but youâll listen and honor the request.Â
â
Some days, she just does things without an explanation. Forget about questioning as to what or why, the glare in her eyes have sunk so deep into yours with this heavy urge to just let Yunjin have her way and show no restraint to what she wants from you.Â
âNo? Iâm not really doing anything right now.â She answers, parting your legs while youâre shifting your hips forward to the edge of the cushions, feeling the layer of shorts and boxers get discarded in a few seconds. Kazuhaâs on the other end, probably giving a debrief or probable game plan to get with a guy whoâll be fucking her later; itâs one of those weekends again, the usual business.Â
You pay no attention, scrolling away lifelessly on three different social media apps with the occasional jump to reply to this group chat for one of your classes, seeing the crimson hair hovering right over your crotch while Yunjin takes your cock in her free hand, slowly stroking to full hardness.Â
Looking over, she locks eyes with you, wearing her favorite pair of specs; the thickly rimmed ones, to be more specific. Those doe eyes magnified ten times while her long fingers work around your growing cock, leaving a slow kiss along the side while sheâs listening to Kazuhaâs verbal dump on the phone. âWho me? Iâm just on the couch, sucking cock. No big deal.âÂ
Just as youâre about to say something, probably a quick ânoâ to let Kazuha know of the complete opposite on the phone, her tongue swirls at the underside as her mouth seals around the head, pressing a bit across the sensitive area until your hips give up the lightest twitch off the seat.Â
Itâs so, so fucking warm in there.Â
This is a problem.Â
Yunjin hums this sort of answer, shimmying her head to take the rest of you into her mouth, simmering your length with a giggle as Kazuhaâs muffled voice through the phone, probably rambling on about her recent adventures with Sakura that you donât know about. Youâll think nothing of it, locking eyes with her while she pulls a bit of her hair over her ear, swirling tongue at a vein while her hand floats across your stomach, then down to your thigh, feeling the light scratch of her nails as she continues to bob her head up and down.Â
âIâm gonna say something if you just-â you hush while the vice around your cock tenses up your legs and hips, feeling the press of your heels onto the floor while Yunjin muffles herself again. Some of her hair trickles down to the inner side of your thigh, holding onto some of her hair while your mouth is parted open, vacuuming your gut from the inside as your ass is practically off the seat.Â
This is gonna get entirely fucked over if she doesnât play nice. âYunjin, I swear to fuck-âÂ
Youâre stroking the crown of her hair, bobbing at a consistent pace now. At this point sheâs just listening to Kazuha explain to Sakura now about her troubles with her friends with benefits, free hand thatâs not holding the phone now at the base to hold your cock still as she does this party trick of pulling her mouth over her teeth - and the slide of her lips across the soaked surface is so sensitive, and youâre fighting every natural impulse to not ruin this just for your own pleasure.Â
Itâs so subtle, the way her tongue passes through, swirling the stiff line beneath, lips wet and warm across your cock, sliding in every way she pleases; your phone is pretty much off to the side, forget about texting back that group chat for your class.Â
She pulls back, moaning while thereâs a visible line of spit from the tip, âHuh? Oh, I donât have any plans for tomorrow. But we can go with Chae if sheâs free.â She smiles widely, hand skating up the length to keep you pulsing. âMe? I just have this one assignment, but Iâll have him help me when weâre done here.âÂ
âCan I? Uh-âÂ
âYeah you can remind him, Zuha.â Yunjin glares, licking her bottom lip, kissing the area between your base and balls, tongue flattening and elevating up the side. She can tell that youâre getting agitated, with every passing second of her hot mouth and the addicting feeling of how her lips wrap around you, hoping to let her push you over the edge. âAlright, have fun with your dick appointment, girl. Iâll see you soon. âKay, bye.âÂ
There could be a vein or two popping out of your brain and neck, and Yunjin flashes this mischievous smile, hand sliding on the upper half of your cock while her mouth nurses the base, beautiful hazel eyes crossing as one of your feet slip out from under the coffee table, head hitting the cushions while this girl between your legs take full control of the lower half of your body. A hum leaves your throat, slurring, Yeah, fuck. Thatâs all youâre able to say, but itâs fine. Relax, Yunjin will take good care of you, always does.Â
Once she stands up a bit, twisting your cock to ensure that itâs still ready for whatâs next, you donât even remember her being in just her panties. The blank canvas of holy skin, the even divide of how her waist forms to her hips, long legs moving one over the other, and that ass is literally a treasure from another planet. âYouâre the absolute worst,â you tell her, hand moving to touch the rare artifact that is her body; so perfect and ready for you to absolutely fuck and ruin. âIâll remember that for later.âÂ
Yunjin swings her ass, pulling her lacy black panties to the side, one hand to your the top of your leg while the other is still wrapped with your cock, teasing the head with her glistening lips, dipping down to get that first rush of new heat; youâre groaning at this point, as her face hides but you can imagine the satisfied expression when she inserts you in.Â
âBaby,â she mutters, keeping herself sliding down the fullness of you, letting every edge of your thick cock press against her walls - the feeling itself is too much to handle. Her ass crashes down, a measured test from the first move. Youâll make a rein with anything thatâs within reach. The ass is one option, the crease where her hips and legs meet; her tits also, and let's not forget about that waist.Â
Youâre pulsing again. Her heat choking your cock is molten, you can hear the gasps in her breath, the sighs of delight from your own, filling her cunt like it's the only thing needed as of right now.Â
âIâm so gonna get you back,â you growl, âby filling up your sopping little cunt with my-âÂ
The movements still for a bit, but the grind she does when she bottoms up your length at the hilt; you couldâve came right then and there, though you did everything in your power not to - not yet.Â
She trembles for a second, muttering some nonsense that will have no attention towards while her pussy lips keep you focused on the grip - how it slides up and down. She stops, only to rise with her knees while giving the slightest look back. Fucking insane.Â
âPlease,â she begs, âIâll let you do anything to have you cum inside me.âÂ
â
Sometimes, Kazuha likes the sudden change of patterns with the things you do with Yunjin.
Consider it to be a full circle moment to from watching her bring her fuck buddies over to the place, now itâs her watching you have your fun that was bound to happen sooner or later. She always brings that up once in a while, just to tease you. Thatâs the partial point of the social construct of college: to get with people and see if things work or not. If they do, great; and if they donât, well thatâs just part of the fun anyway.Â
âReally?â Kazuha asks, amused at the sight taking place in front of her: Yunjin splayed across the kitchen countertop, âYou two really have no shame.â She says, watching you lick your heart away over the skin of her naked body as Yunjin rakes her fingers into your hair, lets out a shaggy exhale when your lips slide up from her chest back up to her neck.Â
You look up, clearly fed with what the observation was brought up now.Â
âWhat can he say,â Yunjin groans out, caressing the back of your head when youâre nestled right underneath her jaw, âLover boy here got a little hungry after our study session.â She giggles when you hit her favorite spot right at the pulse point, hands trailing underneath her back when she arches while her arms hook your back to keep the contact going.Â
You pay no care to Kazuha, keeping your priority on Yunjin, whoâs squirming at every touch and lick youâre giving to every discovered part across her body. âCanât seem to get enough of me.â
âWhipped.â Kazuha laughs, walking behind you to the fridge, grabbing two bottles of water to take back to her room. âI was wondering whose shirt it was sitting in the middle of the hallway.â She looks over your shoulder, seeing her friend completely marked all over; up and down, neck and chest tattered with hickeys and bite marks, legs spread apart where your hips sit in between. âAre you coming tonight?âÂ
âTo where?â You ask, letting a stray hand to her tit while youâre looking over to give Kazuha the proper attention. âI thought you didnât have plans tonight.âÂ
âI didnât,â Kazuha says, âUntil Sakura finally let me have a go with her on and off fling sheâs been seeing for the past two weeks. She showed him a picture of me and was like, automatically into me. Now Iâm gonna close the deal with him.âÂ
âAre you now?â Yunjin asks, on an elbow while your stray hand trails down to her clit, lightly massaging it to keep her occupied. Sheâs tugging on your shirt, keeping a close eye to your fingers dancing along her leaking slit, sighing prettily. It didnât take that long for her to get comfortable with Kazuha being in the house while youâre fucking her on any given time of the day, and the idea of privacy was thrown out the window long before that.Â
âSo that explains the fake ID sitting on the coffee table,â you tell her, feeling Yunjinâs hands on the elastic of your sweats, unveiling your cock when you take the hint and assist. âBut donât you have your own to use? Or did you lose it?âÂ
Kazuhaâs extended period of silence says everything that you need to know about her situation. And the fact that it had Chaewonâs picture on the card, proves the slightest concern thatâs rumbling through her mind right now.Â
âKazuhaâs still a good girl at heart.â Yunjin observes, shuffling to the edge of the countertop while youâre tugging along the length, lightly tapping her core as the purrs start to fill up the kitchen. âYouâll be fine, weâll move back to the room before Sakura comes to get you. Promise.â Her head hits the marble when you slip inside into her cunt, hooking onto the top of her thighs as the irregular breaths coming out of her start to stabilize. You havenât even sunk all the way in yet, sliding until youâre parting her soaked lips, making her feel full.Â
âI think you should go to Kuraâs.â You add, looking up while composing yourself in Yunjinâs tight pussy. âWould be better for her to see that youâre ready at her place rather than the other way around, I think.â The slick should be the only thing youâre worried about now, her hand grasping onto your wrist when you drag out the first few times, gradually picking up the pace while the lovely glow on your girlfriendâs face starts to set in. âJust try to match the same hairstyle like Chaeâs in the picture, and youâll be fine.âÂ
Kazuha nods, pursing her lips while she starts to step away. âAs much as I love to sit here and watch, Iâll treat myself to my own cock in about a few hours.â She walks away while youâre nicking your head and Yunjinâs waving a loose hand goodbye as Kazuha makes her way back to the room, relaying your focus to the girl at your hips getting slammed with every hit your cock makes into her sweet spot.Â
âNow that sheâs gone, where was I?â you say sweetly, shifting your hands upward to her hips, admiring those pretty pussy lips, clamping up her cunt.Â
Yunjin loves how wrecked you get her, itâs an essential thing that will keep her going, the way sheâs sighing out all of the praises and sounds, âG-God, please. Fuck me more.âÂ
You donât even have to think twice about it. Because thatâs the typical Huh Yunjin style she proses. It comes in a cycle, going on and on and on for as long as you could recall, unsure how things fell to the way that it did, but youâll be there to listen to everything that there is to hear coming both from and out of her lips.Â
â
(The funny thing about patterns, is the sense of normalcy at how things are around the apartment.Â
You donât even hear the front door open since youâre heavily focused on Yunjinâs thick ass bouncing back on your cock, giving yourself time to breathe while sheâs doing all the work for the next few moments. Kazuha peers through the crack of the open door leading into the room, a lone pair of eyes finally catching the picture of you two on the bed; thereâs her forehead, slipping back out into the hallway in a string of laughs.Â
A sole assumption that Sakuraâs skill for matchmaking helped Kazuhaâs love life get it in the right direction.)Â
â
Youâre not entirely sure how things flowed this way.Â
Though, itâs been really easy to get swept up in all of the different responsibilities falling onto your plate as the weeks continue to pass. Assignments get turned in on time, some parties are on the calendar every few weekends, and the days are winding down until youâve got that degree in your hand. Only a matter of time before the real worldâs calling, but that bridge will come when you get to it.Â
âWhat's the measured response?â Yunjin asks one day, tilting her head at an angle while watching something on her iPad, âI know the whole premise of this show but, Iâm literally lost at what the final movieâs overall theme is.âÂ
Sheâs got her feet up on the seat, you on the opposite end zoning out after she made you cum down her throat in a corner hidden away from everyone else at the library, not trying to let the sounds of her soft moans fill your ears as sheâs slurping your cockâs life away in broad daylight (technically working hours, but you get the point.)Â
âI mean, the movie itself is-âÂ
âAmazingly depressing, unsettling, downright traumatic. I think I might just cry.â Yunjin answers, leaning forward as youâre wrapping up a page of some Murakami book that Sakura handed to you for an early graduation gift. âIs that book also depressing to read too? I know Kkura said that she has a couple at her place.âÂ
You look at the front cover. Norwegian Wood was pretty much a blind read, and Sakura herself didnât really tell you what the whole story was about to begin with. So far, itâs been intriguing with every ten pages or so, aside from the fact the love interest has got some issues by a third of the way in? Maybe halfway? Youâre flipping pages whenever you can because itâs a good way to pass time.Â
Yunjin leans a little more across the table, studying your features, the way that your eyes move with every passing word in the passage, pursing her lips with every small nick of your head when thereâs something interesting to note or probably worth annotating later. She thinks that youâre being intrigued, when in reality, youâve just discovered another thing about the main love interest thatâs running the âoh, what the fuck?â in your mind just now.Â
A look up slightly above the pages, and sheâs sitting there. From her eyes alone theyâre staring at you in admiration.Â
Itâs still impossible to tell what this woman wants from you sometimes.Â
âWhat?â you ask, softly giggling when sheâs giving this quizzical look with her knuckles resting under her chin. âI thought you said you needed to study?âÂ
âI did,â she shrugs. âIâve just come to the probable conclusion that youâre an interesting human being.âÂ
âWell what the hell is that supposed to mean?âÂ
Yunjin bobs her head confidently. âYouâre a smart guy.â An outreached hand over yours to close the book, her eyes flick back to you again while youâre trying to observe her body language, the way her glances exchange from seeing you to some passerby walking in the library. âIâm sure youâre still thinking about earlier.âÂ
Your jaw drops slightly, repulsed at the sly wink that sheâs giving you. Thereâs no deniability coming from you, sheâs just pulling the rope at every urge within the bones in your body to see what she demands. âAnd what if I am?âÂ
She grins, finger between her teeth, âWhat do you say we get out of here then?âÂ
Youâll follow her back to the apartment in a heartbeat.Â
â
A quote is said at the end of a lecture one day from your finance professor: âThis too, shall pass.â The interpretation alone could be applied to a wide variety of things throughout a busy schedule. It could be passed as advice, a lesson, a reminder; or at least a simple mantra to go by once youâve reached the crossroads from one turn of the page to the next.Â
Some of the remaining morning classes get skipped.Â
Some of the study sessions leading up to finals get cut short.Â
Every passing day until the eventual break has been met with a metric of unpredictability that you still canât quite fathom about. Thatâs the beauty of what life has to offer, actually - to break the solid cycle of that routine thatâs basically second nature up until now, do stuff thatâs worth the fun without worrying about whatâs to follow after. Youâre always on the receiving end of this, getting pulled by Kazuha or Sakura or Chaewon or literally anyone thatâs willing to peer pressure you into doing the stupid shit that they always get themselves into.Â
At the end of every probable argument, Yunjin always gets the final say.Â
Doesnât matter if youâre fighting the sounds rumbling out of your chest, or the endless streams of begging please keep fucking me coming out of her. What keeps you in is the way she rolls her hips, slowing the movement for a second when sheâs reaching over to the nightstand to grab her phone, answering Hanniâs call as she has a hand to your mouth to keep quiet. The drag alone is an overload for your brain, falling off the edge till youâve got your load fucked deep enough into her pussy and get several more after because she wants it.Â
Sheâs got the phone between her shoulder and ear, âyeah, got it. Okay, awesome. Iâll see you soon, yeah, mhm, weâll be there, Iâll tell him. Yes, yes, yes. Uh huh, bye.âÂ
God, and when she pulls herself up to a kneeling position over you, looking below at how well your cock fills her. Itâs making you want to do all of the things she knows youâll do to her. Put her in her place, have her screaming until the neighbors next door come over to complain for the hundredth time, and for the love of god, just keep her hips there so that you can-
âMake a mess of my pussy baby. I want to feel it so deep inside me.âÂ
This side of herâŠman. Itâll happen now, and it will pass. But it will most definitely come back again soon.Â
-
The weeks after blow by like a bullet train, and before you know it, itâs grad season.Â
Itâs a few days before everyone in your cohort gets the sought out reward of walking across that stage and pulling that tassel from the left over to the right. Youâre at a party hosted by one of Sakuraâs friends, taking it easy in one of the seating areas in the backyard with the overhanging lights, occasionally fighting off the bugs that come every now and then. Consider this to be a tune into one of those many conversations:Â
âSo what are we thinking?â Youâre looking down to see Yunjin lounging, head on your lap as her lanky legs are taking the remaining space at the left side of the couch. âYou still havenât told me about your new interest in art recently.âÂ
She looks up to your hand massaging her head before returning eye contact with you, staring, contemplating before giving an answer. âI told you. I like the whole dreamy, pastel, impressionist vibe from certain works.âÂ
âSo like Van Gogh?âÂ
âKinda. Iâm more into Sorolla and Monet.â Yunjin answers, voice lighting up. âNow that I think about it, a trip to France would add years to my life.âÂ
You nod in agreement, but your attention gets diverted to the beer pong table beneath the awning, watching as Kazuha and Sakura win their game with their new boyfriend. Just by looking at them, itâs pretty odd to see how itâs working, but youâll give props to the effort theyâre putting in.Â
Yunjin then sits up next to you, stretching her limbs, yawning a bit with a pout at the end. Her hair shuffles down her shoulder, flashing her face towards you, bright smile and squinting and eyes flickering. Sheâs doing that thing again: trying to assess whatâs going through your thoughts right now, hoping to pick apart your brain bit by bit since sheâll manage.Â
âWhat,â you ask her, head falling horizontally, âis there something on my face?âÂ
âI guess youâre on the edge,â she tells you, shifting her body closer to yours, examining your appearance with a move of your hair to the side, tracing a finger tip along the lines of your face; to the cheekbones, then the jaw, dusting off a stray leaf on your collarbone before cocking her head back in questioning, âRelax, Iâm just trying to figure out whatâs really on your mind.âÂ
(Consider it to be Yunjinâs signature idiosyncrasy. Sheâs good at reading faces and eyes, connecting the dots of what oneâs true thoughts are. It falls into a certain structure, the way that you answer her questions, how your body reacts to hers, the key habits that falter when sheâs getting warmer to something. You envy how good she is at reading between the lines, wishing that sheâd be anything else but that.)Â
Though, two can play at her game. âI think you know whatâs on my mind.âÂ
Her eyes glisten off of the floating lights from above, fading laughs in the background like thereâs this bubble encapsulating you two. Sheâs been in this scenario so many times before, and from the look in your eyes, it leads to one thing and really one thing only.Â
She grins, pulling her bottom lip inward with a twirling finger to the end of her hair, âSo. You wanna like, get out of here?âÂ
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sacred monsters: part one
pairing: lee heeseung x f reader
genre: academic rivals to lovers, vampire au, slow burn
part one word count: 19.3k
part one warnings: swearing, blood and all sorts of other vampire-y things, semi graphic descriptions/depictions of violence, I don't know anything about publishing and wrote about it anyway, not quite as much in this part, but I want to forewarn you that while there is still nothing explicit, we do get a little ~sexier~ than most stllmnstr fics
note/disclaimer: I have been itching to write an enha vampire fic for ages because hello? the material is RIGHT THERE!! this is a story I'm super excited about, and it's definitely gotten me out of my comfort zone. in order to help build this world, I did draw from some outside sources. primarily, a lot of the vampire lore and some plot elements are inspired by the dark moon webtoon series. I did also pull some things from twilight and other well-known vampire myths. lastly, there is a section with "poetry" in it. these "poems" are translated lyrics from still monster, chaconne, and lucifer by enhypen. some are in their original form and some I altered slightly. everything else is straight from yours truly! as always, happy reading âĄ
soundtrack: still monster / moonstruck / lucifer - enhypen / everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears / immortal - marina / supermassive black hole - muse / saturn - sleeping at last / everybodyâs watching me (uh oh) - the neighbourhood
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
A literature student in your third year of university, youâve been dreaming of having your writing published for as long as you can remember. With a perfect opportunity dangling at your fingertips, the only obstacle that stands in your way comes in the form of a ridiculously tall, stupidly handsome, and unfortunately, very talented writer by the name of Lee Heeseung. Unwilling to let your dream slip out of reach, you commit to being better than the aforementioned pain in your ass at absolutely everything.
But when a string of vampire attacks strikes close to your city for the first time in nearly two hundred years, publishing is suddenly the last thing on your mind. And, as you soon begin to discover, Heeseung may not quite be the person you thought he was.
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The last sip of your coffee tastes bitter on your tongue. Acidic, like it was left to brew too long. Or maybe not long enough. Your limited knowledge of coffee extends to its effects on your alertness and little else.Â
Taste has always been an afterthought, something of little consequence. Besides, some bitterness is to be expected when you take your coffee black.Â
Suppressing the small wince that always follows your final sip, you set the reusable thermos down on your desk. Next to your open notebook and favorite ballpoint pen, it settles in nicely with your other class essentials.Â
Call it poetic or romantic or unbearably pretentious, but you actually do prefer to take your notes by hand. Partly because it feels more fitting for a literature major and mostly because your laptop is on its last leg and between tuition and rent, you donât exactly have the funds to shell out for a new one.Â
Frowning at the bitter taste that still lingers on your tongue, you feel another pang of regret for forgetting to pack your water bottle this morning. But no matter. Today is a day for optimism. The bitterness now only means that your imminent victory will taste that much sweeter in comparison.Â
Because today is the last day of the fall semester of your third year. Which means that this is the last morning youâll be sitting here in this lecture hall in the minutes preceding 9 am.Â
Which means that today is the day of your professorâs long awaited announcement. You still remember the day, nearly four months ago, when he first told the entire room of undermotivated, overcaffeinated students about it.Â
A publishing opportunity. A real, actual publishing opportunity. Something most literature students would sell their soul for.Â
Because Professor Kim, while a rather mediocre professor who prefers to dish out criticism and bite back praise, has an excellent eye for great writing. So much so that nearly twenty years ago, he founded his very own publishing house.Â
Known by the name New Haven Publishing, itâs a small operation that deals mostly in short pieces that are marketed more for niche literary circles than mass public appeal. Being published by New Haven may not be a straight shot to the New York Timesâ Best Sellers List, but itâs still professional publishing.Â
And a week into classes, he announced that for the first time ever, he would be choosing one of you to not only intern at New Haven the following semester, but also to publish an original piece of short fiction with them.Â
Youâve been fantasizing about it for months now. You can already imagine it. A piece of your very own, marketed and edited by professionals. Published and complete with Professor Kimâs stamp of approval.Â
Itâs what youâve been craving ever since you decided to switch paths and pursue literature studies at the end of your first semester. Itâs everything youâre sure you need. Validation that your writing is good, that your words are worth reading.Â
Hell, maybe it will even earn you the approval of your parents.Â
And, perhaps most satisfying of all, you will have officially beaten Lee Heeseng once and for all. You donât want to speak poorly of the rest of your classmates and their writing abilities, but this has always been a competition between you and him.Â
Or, at least, it has been for you.Â
Itâs the last day of the semester, and honestly, you wouldnât be surprised if Heeseung still had a hard time remembering that the internship was even happening. Then again, you wouldnât exactly be shocked if he couldn't remember your name, either. Â
And if you were hard pressed to choose only one thing, that would probably be what annoys you the most about him. Not the way his hair is alway somehow perfectly mussed. Not the way his writing is painfully beautiful and poetic that you swell green with envy just thinking about it.Â
No, the root cause of your infinite ire when it comes to Lee Heeseung is how damn aloof he is. Like his classmates and professors and even his greatest rival arenât worth the effort of remembering.Â
And itâs not like itâs because heâs got some kind of crazy social life outside of academics. Other than mandatory discussion groups, youâre not sure youâve ever seen him so much as talk to anyone.Â
But thatâs just the way he is, you suppose.Â
Perfect Heeseung with his perfect hair and his perfect writing and perfect attendance record doesnât need anyone but himselfâ
Wait.Â
Perfect attendance record.Â
Glancing at the clock mounted high above the front door of the lecture hall, you can hardly believe what youâre seeing.Â
8:59.Â
Thereâs no way. Thereâs no fucking way that the universe is rooting for you this hard, that the stars are aligning this perfectly.Â
Despite your doubts, the second hand continues its onward march. You suppress the sudden urge to bounce your leg in a matching rhythm.Â
He has five seconds.Â
Four. Three. Two. One.Â
And itâs official. A ridiculous amount of pent up tension drains from your shoulders as your spine straightens. You canât believe it was that easy.Â
A semester of agonizing over every word, every sentence, every assignment you handed in for this class. A semester of panicking over missed buses and waking up way too early just to make sure you always beat the clock.Â
But today is the day where everything comes to a head.Â
And Lee Heeseung is officially late.Â
Professor Kim, at the beginning of the semester, had only two pieces of advice to offer his students that were suddenly all gunning for a shot at being published:
One: âDonât make me read awful writing.â
And two: âDonât be late to class. I have zero tolerance for tardiness.â
Heeseung has just broken a cardinal rule. One row down, nine seats to the left from where you sit. Itâs the place that would usually be filled with an annoyingly broad set of shoulders and distractingly sharp jawline. In fact, Heeseung usually beats you here most days. Not that youâre keeping track, of course. And not that it matters.Â
Because this morning, this fateful morning, that particular seat, his seat, is glaringly, gloriously empty.Â
Your eyes flicker over to it again without your permission. But you canât help it. Youâre so antsy now, teeming with self-satisfied excitement. Itâs almost unbelievable actually. A golden stroke of luck that he chose today, of all days, to be late.
In fact, you think the more you stare at the empty seat, Lee Heeseung is such a reliable presence that the entire lecture hall suddenly seems a bit off kilter. Tilted too far in some precarious state of imbalance.Â
Your smugness is still there, yes, but now thereâs also a heavy feeling beginning to settle at the bottom of your gut. Why on earth is Lee Heeseung late?
Youâre so distracted by his absence, the endless loop of possibilities and explanations running through your mind, that you almost miss the second abnormality of the morning.Â
Because now the clock reads 9:04, and Heeseung isnât the only one missing.Â
All at once, your attention is on the podium at the front of the lecture hall. Itâs empty, too. And Professor Kim may be a hardass, but heâs no hypocrite. Never once throughout this entire semester has he ever begun a class even a millisecond late.
Frowning, you pull out your phone to confirm that the clock on the wall is not playing tricks on you. Maybe there was a power outage or something, and maintenance hasnât had time to correct it yet.Â
But your phone screen lights up, and 9:05 is the time that stares back at you.Â
Glancing around, no one else seems too particularly bothered by this. There are a few titters, a few annoyed grumbles that sound like hypocrite and double standard where they reach your ears.Â
But still, the clock ticks forward.Â
The minute hand has fallen another two notches when the front door finally opens, Professor Kim striding in unhurried. Despite his lateness, his steps are steady, even. Thereâs nothing frantic or apologetic about the way he sets his briefcase down next to the podium, pulling out his laptop and a small stack of notes before clearing his throat.Â
As the students around you fall silent, class begins as it always does. Other than the time, nothing is out of the ordinary.Â
But your spirits are still high, and you figure you can cut your professor some slack. Maybe he ran into a bad bit of traffic or spilled coffee all over his shirt. Maybe heâs too embarrassed to draw more attention to his error and has decided that not acknowledging it at all is the best course of action.Â
Oh, well. Itâs no use ruminating on it now. Settling back into your seat, you do your best to focus your attention on the front of the room and not that damn empty chair. But the distraction isnât necessary for long.Â
The clock is just striking 9:12 when a second late arrival draws the eyes of the class to the front door of the lecture hall. Like your professor, Heeseung maintains a certain air of composedness as he makes his way towards his seat wordlessly.Â
Thereâs a moment, a fraction of a second, where Professor Kim pauses, letting a sentence drift into silence.Â
Twelve minutes late. Itâs a rookie mistake. For a fleeting moment, you almost feel bad for him. Because surely Professor Kim is about to make an example of him. No one walks into his lectures late and leaves unscathed.Â
Wincing, you remember a handful of weeks ago when a poor girl that sits a few rows behind you arrived late. Not only had Professor Kim stopped the entire flow of his lecture to draw attention to her tardiness, he had also assigned her an extra short story for homework. One on the merits of punctuality.
But the ebb in the lecture begins to flow again, the moment passing as soon as it comes. Heeseung settles into his chair. Your professor resumes his sentence.Â
For the remainder of the class, you do your best to pay attention, but youâre having trouble finding a point. Itâs not like he can assign homework or an exam or a discussion on the last day of the semester.Â
Like you, most of your peers are fully zoned out, just waiting for him to get to what everyone has been dying to know for months.Â
Whoâs interning at New Haven? Whoâs getting published?
But distractions in this class have never been hard to come by. More than once, you find your wandering gaze drifting to the back of Heeseungâs head. Usually, youâd be bitterly admiring how soft his hair looks. But today, thereâs only one question that plays in your mind as you stare.Â
What on earth happened that made perfect Lee Heeseung late?
Your thoughts are only interrupted by the sudden shuffle of small movement around you as everyone sits up a bit straighter in their seats.Â
âAh,â Professor Kim glances at the time. âThat wraps up our semester, then. As promised, I would like to announce the student who will be interning with New Haven Publishing this upcoming semester. And, of course, the student that will have the opportunity to publish an original piece with us.â
He pauses for a moment, looking down at his notes. You wonder if the people sitting close to you can hear the way your heart pounds in your chest.Â
Please be me. Please be me. Please be me.Â
The rushing in your ears is so loud that you almost miss it. But not quite. Because the sound of your own name is something youâd recognize anywhere.Â
Because it was your name that he said. Not anyone elseâs. Not Heeseungâs.
You. You did it.Â
Youâre officially going to be interning with New Haven. Youâre going to be published.Â
When he asks you to stay a minute after class to discuss the details, itâs all you can do to nod. Butterflies are still scattered in your stomach.Â
As the rest of the students begin to file out, you pack up your materials with hands that shake slightly. It doesnât feel real. It feels too good to be true. You poured your everything into this all semester long, and now itâs actually happening.Â
Your mind is a mess, and an erratic movement almost sends your empty thermos flying. Luckily, you snap out of it long enough to catch it before it hits the ground. With everything packed back into your bag, you make your way down to the podium on slightly unsteady feet.Â
A handful of passing classmates congratulate you on their way out, and you smile in return.Â
Youâve almost made it to the front of the lecture hall when a body blocks your path. It takes a moment for your brain to register the identity of the offender. And once it does, it spits his name with venom. Heeseung.Â
Oblivious and self-centered as always, he nearly knocks you over. Rolling your eyes, you move to step around him. Apparently whatever gift he was given for writing doesnât extend to his spatial awareness or consideration for others.Â
But as you lean to the left, he follows the movement, still in your path. Your gaze snaps up, eyebrows raised when you find him already looking at you.Â
Oh. So itâs not a spatial awareness problem, then. Heâs in your way on purpose.Â
As always, his expression is infuriatingly blank. You canât get any sort of read on him, and it unnerves you. Irritates you. Here he is, blocking your path, and the only thing he has to offer you is an empty, silent stare.
You could just say excuse me, force your way around him, and be done with it. You should. The semester is over, your professorâs decision is made, and you have no stake left in this game.Â
But youâve been biting back snarky comments and masking irritated expressions with mild indifference for months. The nerve he has to block you. The utter gall of it all. To physically stand in your way when heâs been your metaphorical obstacle to success all semester.Â
When every time you look at him, you still remember that one sunny afternoon, early in the semester. The time you tried, actually tried to be his friend. When he waved you off like a buzzing fly that was nothing more than a nuisance.Â
You inhale, weighing your options. His head tilts slightly at the movement, and itâs your last straw.Â
Thereâs poison in your voice when you bite, âOh, what? Now that Iâve proved myself, you can spare some time out of your day to talk to me?â
Heeseungâs eyes widen, lips parting slightly. Itâs the most emotion youâve ever seen from him, and heâs wasting it on shock. As if he canât quite comprehend why the girl heâs been giving headaches for months might not want to stop and have a friendly chat with him. Not that you imagine heâd even be capable of that if you tried.Â
Already, you regret your comment. In a perfect world, you wouldnât have said anything. Youâd be just as detached and cold and aloof as he was on that day you hate to think about. You still remember it like it was yesterday. Without your permission, the memory floats front and center to your mind.Â
It was warmer, then. The last clutches of summer were still holding on tight. Sunlight was bright in the sky, and it felt like a good time to breach the barrier of your comfort zone.Â
Class had just ended. Usually, Heeseung was one of the first to leave. You had to pack up abnormally quickly just to catch him in the quad right outside the lecture hall.Â
But you did catch up to him.
And in a voice braver than you felt, you asked, âHey, itâs Heeseung, right?âÂ
Youâd been brighter, then. Still full of an energy you havenât been able to muster since midterms. Not yet burdened by the weight of assignments and rejection, your disposition was as sunny as the sky above.Â
Heeseung hadnât bothered to dignify your question with an actual answer, but he had at least stopped walking, and that seemed like an invitation at the time. Now, with the power of hindsight, you wince. You should have spared yourself the regret.
You remember watching as he pulled out his earbuds, tucking them back into his pocket before turning his attention to you. Or at least half of it. Even then, you never felt like he was truly looking at you, hearing you. His mind always seemed off in the distance, preoccupied somewhere you could never quite reach.Â
You recall being nervous, heat in your cheeks as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His eyes tracked the movement like a cat tracks a ray of sunlight. Lazily, intently. With an energy you werenât quite sure what to do with.Â
Instead, you had stuttered, âI, uh, I wanted to tell you that I thought your analysis today was brilliant.â The worst part is that it really was a brilliant analysis. Although youâd never admit that today, and much less to his face.Â
Instead, you cringe just thinking about it. You should have taken his blank stare as a sign. You should have just let the one-sided conversation die there. With at least a little dignity and some of your pride left to spare.Â
But you hadnât.Â
âI never thought about the use of sunlight as a metaphor for life. I mean, now that youâve pointed it out, it seems kind of obvious.â The memory of your nervous giggles settle like rocks in your stomach. âAnyway, I feel like Iâm rambling, but if you ever want to get together and look through assignments or review each otherâs analyses, Iâd love toââ
Youâd heard his voice before, of course. In class discussions and presentations. But never this close. And never directed at you.Â
He kept it short, his interruption, his response to your shaky offer.Â
âIâm busy.â
And that was it. Two words. Two fucking words. And not even an explanation or an Iâm sorry or a sheepish expression to go along with them.Â
With that, youâd watched, a bit helplessly, as he pulled his earbuds out of his pocket, put them back into his ears and turned away from you before you could realize just how thoroughly youâd been rejected.Â
With a sudden haze in the air and hope dying in your heart, your friendly smile slipped into confused dismay as you watched him track a steady path across the quad.Â
If your cheekbones felt warm before, you were sure they must have been aflame by then. After all, it was your bodyâs natural response to the crushing weight of the embarrassment and thoroughly bruised ego heâd left you there standing with.Â
Fine then, youâd resolved after walking as quickly as you could in the opposite direction, sending a prayer to the heavens that no one from your class had just witnessed the most mortifying interaction youâve ever had. If Lee Heeseung wanted nothing to do with you, the feeling could be mutual.Â
In fact, it was probably for the best. You were vying for that internship and if the past class discussions were anything to go by, Heeseung would be your only real competition. If he was too busy for you, then you would just have to be too busy for him.Â
Too busy perfecting every assignment and acing every exam. Too busy drowning in dictionaries and thesauruses and reference materials to make sure everything you submitted was perfect â no, scratch that â better than perfect.Â
Too busy to attempt another conversation or interaction or do anything but nod along politely whenever he did make an unfortunately great point in class.Â
So, no. Heeseung doesnât get to dictate your time or attention or conversation now that youâve actually been awarded with a publishing opportunity, now that all of your efforts and dedication and late nights have paid off.Â
If Lee Heeseung wants a bit of your attention on today of all days, at this moment of all moments, then youâre just going to have to be too busy to entertain him.Â
Standing in front of you, still blocking your path to the podium, Heeseung has the nerve to look confused. As if you have no reason to give him the cold shoulder. As if youâre the one being unreasonable here.Â
His brow furrows further. âWhat?â Itâs the third word heâs ever spoken directly to you. It makes your blood boil. âNo, IâŠâ he trails off. You can practically see the gears running in his mind, like this wasnât the conversation he expected to be having. Like he has no idea how to navigate it now. âI was just going to say that you should maybe reconsider.â
Your voice is ice when you ask, âReconsider what?âÂ
âWellâŠâ Heâs treading in dangerous territory, and he seems to realize it too. âThe internship,â he clarifies, and itâs the second most insulting thing heâs ever said to your face.Â
You screw your eyes shut. Cold and detached. Blank and aloof. All the things you should be. But youâve always run a little hot. And end of the semester exhaustion finds you more willing to throw caution to the wind.Â
âYou have got to be fucking with me.â Eyes reopening, youâre met with that same expression of mild shock. Brows raised, lips parted. And god, he even looks good like that. âYeah, right. Let me guess, so you can do the internship and publish a piece of your own? If all you came over to do is insult me, then save your breath.â
âWhat?â He still looks so damn confused. âNo, Iââ
You donât want to hear it. âI have nothing to say to you.â If he wonât get out of your way, youâll just have to go through him. The shoulder check is maybe slightly more intense than it needs to be as you shove your way past him. He barely stumbles back an inch. It makes you want to rip your hair out. âBesides,â you add, not bothering to turn back to look at him. âIâm busy.â
Itâs a dig at him, yes, but itâs also true. You are. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and Lee Heeseung is not about to ruin it for you.Â
To your unending gratitude, he doesnât try to intercept you again. Your path to the front of the lecture hall is clear, and Professor Kim is just tucking his laptop back into his briefcase when you reach the podium.Â
Ultimately, itâs a watered down version of the million times youâve imagined this moment in your head. Even coming on the tail end of the most annoying interaction youâve had in months. Professor Kim congratulates you again, and hands you a printed schedule of when youâll be expected at the publishing office for the first time.Â
There are also submission dates. Deadlines for you to submit drafts of the piece that youâll be publishing. You take it all in with a beam and enthusiastic nods, mishap with Heeseung from minutes ago all but forgotten.Â
That is, until Professor Kimâs gaze lands somewhere over your shoulder after he tells you heâll also send you a follow-up email with all the information you need.Â
You watch as his expression shifts, something uneasy, distrustful entering his gaze as he looks beyond you. âSomething I can help you with, Mr. Lee?â
Following his gaze, you turn to look behind you. The lecture hall is empty, students cleared out from the class that dismissed nearly five minutes ago. All except for one, that is.Â
Gone is the shock from Heeseungâs delicately sharp features. Instead, he wears his mask of indifference again, betraying no emotion. You must be imagining the way it looks almost strained this time, as if heâs forcing his expression into neutrality instead of it there of its own accord.Â
Wordlessly, his gaze shifts to you.Â
And now itâs your turn to be confused, but you wonât let it last long. At least not outwardly. Youâre quick to match his gaze with nothing but pure ire, venom dripping seeping from every inch of your glare.Â
Is he seriously still trying to ruin this for you? So much for being busy.Â
âNo, sir.â Heeseung shakes his head. Heâs addressing your professor, but heâs still looking at you. A muscle ticks in his jaw, betrays a hint of tension. âI was just on my way out.â
True to his word, he begins a steady descent towards the front door.Â
Your professor clears his throat, turns his attention back to you, resuming the wrap-up of your conversation.Â
Youâre extra grateful for that follow-up email now, given the way movement in your periphery distracts you from Professor Kimâs last few statements. Instead, your focus hones in on the even footsteps that carry Heeseung to the door, allow him to slip through it silently.Â
It must be a trick of the light, must be a figment of your overworked, over irritated imagination. But you swear you see him linger there, just on the other side of the small glass window carved into the door.Â
Professor Kim says his parting words, and you thank him one final time. If thereâs an unnatural quickness in your footsteps as you turn to leave, you tell yourself that itâs because youâre excited to get started on your draft, not because you have the sneaking suspicion Heeseung is still standing just on the other side of the door.Â
But you swear thatâs his silhouette you see as you draw closer, shrouded in shadows but distinct all the same. Youâre debating the merits of shouting at him or maybe accidentally shoulder checking him again as you pull open the door handle, a little more roughly than you intend.Â
But the only thing that greets you on the other side of the door is a nearly empty hallway, save for the pair of students bent over a laptop a few paces away. You ignore their twin expressions of shock as you let the door fall closed behind you, much more calmly than you opened it.Â
âŠ..
The blank expanse of your notebook stares at you accusingly.Â
Youâd stare back, if that would somehow make words appear on the page. Sighing, you reach for your long forgotten cup of tea sitting on your desk. Taking a slow sip, you realize itâs gone cold.Â
That just makes you double down on your frustration. How long have you been sitting here, waiting for inspiration to strike?Â
People always talk about the merits of a change in scenery, but ever since you started your first semester of university three years ago, your favorite place to write has always been here, at the small, simple desk that sits in the corner of your bedroom.Â
Back then, writing was a hobby. Something to do when the last of your biochemistry homework was finished. A way to release pent-up stress and tension from long days in the university lab and long hours feeling like you were drowning between all of the extra study sessions, TA workshops, and office hours.Â
At first, it had been worth it. You maintained high grades and high spirits. Mostly because of the small sprinkles of support your parents showered you with.Â
Every little You got this! that lit up your phone screen on dreary afternoons and We believe in you! that made your evening lectures a little more bearable felt like tokens of your parentsâ affection. Something tangible to show for the care they held for you.Â
Most of all, you cherished the Weâre proud of you messages. You canât remember the last time you received one.Â
And itâs not like they were mad, exactly, when you told them you wanted to change majors. They did their best to be supportive in the ways that they knew how.Â
For your father, that was concern. âAre you sure? Literature? What do the job prospects after graduation look like?â
And for your mother, that was letting you know that she thought you were capable of more. Of better. âItâs not that literature is bad, sweetie. Itâs just⊠Well, youâve always been such a smart girlâŠâ
You get it; you really do. All the questions and prodding comments that felt like criticism were wrapped in nothing but love. But that didnât do much to soften the sting.Â
In the end, it was this desk that made you follow through with your change in major. Slumped in your hand-me-down chair late one Friday night, half finished lab report sitting untouched in your bag, the threat of tears burning at the corners of your eyes, all you wanted to do was write. Â
To put into words the feelings and emotions and fantasies and frustrations that you could never seem to express otherwise. To commit a piece of your soul to paper and wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was someone else out there who would read it and find a sense of solidarity, of common ground.Â
You submitted your official change request the next morning. You never regretted it once.Â
But your parents still make comments, still share their concerns. And for the last three years, you havenât had anything to show for it except for empty promises. But now, you have something. A real something.Â
Publishing a story of your own is the exact validation that you need that your choice was the right one. And itâs the proof you need to assuage your parentsâ fears, to show them that pursuing literature was the right call. That you can carve out a life for yourself with it.Â
Youâve fantasized about this for years. For the chance to have your voice heard, your words read. There are a million half-baked thoughts and partially written drafts scattered in your notebooks and digital documents and on the corners of takeout napkins that have been lying in wait for a moment just like this.Â
But no matter how hard you stare at the page in front of you, the words just wonât come. The more old drafts you scour, the more amateur your writing feels. The more you feel like maybe Heeseung should have won the internship over you.Â
Itâs a miserable cycle your brain works itself into. The less you write, the more you criticize, the more you wonder.Â
What if he hadnât been late that morning? What if Professor Kim was hoping to choose him instead? What if the reason he didnât say anything when Heeseung finally arrived in class was because he was so disappointed that his first choice wasnât an option anymore?
Groaning out loud to an empty room, your head falls on your desk with a muted thud.Â
Itâs there, facedown on your desk, where an idea strikes you. If you canât manifest a draft out of thin air, maybe you just need some parameters. A general guide to get the creative juices flowing.Â
Lifting your head back up, you push your notebook to the side and reach for your laptop. Opening a web browser, you navigate to New Haven Publishing Houseâs homepage.Â
Itâs a simple website, reflective of its simple namesake. Chin in one hand, you click the link that reads Recently Published.Â
The list that pops up is modest. Unlike a larger, more corporate publishing house, your professorâs self-made enterprise is churning out new releases at a slower rate and smaller volume.Â
Perusing the titles and descriptions, you note that the vast majority of the works are short form fiction. There are very few full length novels. The majority is made up of essay and poetry collections, short stories, and memoirs.Â
Scanning the list again, a title close to the top catches your eye.Â
The Thirst for Revenge: An Analysis of Contemporary Vampire Activity. It was published less than a month ago.Â
Your cursor hovers over the link, brow furrowing. It strikes you as odd that something so⊠archaic would be published so recently.Â
Professor Kim has always come across as a discerning man. Someone that prides himself on his well curated taste.Â
But vampires⊠thatâs hardly a headline worthy topic these days.Â
While most people still practice caution walking down dark alleyways at night and some even go so far as to carry charms infused with garlic cloves, monsters of the night are by and large a thing of the past.
The entire species of bloodthirsty, ravaging immortals were hunted to near extinction almost two hundred years ago. Those that survived relocated to remote areas. Some adapted to life in the countryside by learning to enjoy the taste of animal blood. Others found humans willing to donate small portions of their own blood intermittently. You wonât pretend to understand, but you suppose itâs preferable to the alternative. Â
Some still hunted in the traditional way, of course, but vampire attacks on humans are few are far between these days. After all, vampires, as a means of survival, have all but forsaken major urban areas. Population density spells demise for their species.Â
Youâd have to confirm through research, but if you remember correctly, the last recorded vampire-related death in your city was nearly two hundred years ago.Â
Without bothering to click on the link, you continue scrolling down. Honestly, it was probably just a fluke. After all, who knows? Maybe thereâs some niche circle out there that enjoys analyzing vampire literature, regardless of how outdated it is.Â
The next title seems a bit more promising. Shadowless Nights. The brief description marks it as a short story published half a year ago.Â
You click on it, take a sip of room temperature tea while the page loads.Â
Night was my favorite time of day, the first line reads.Â
I loved the stillness of it all, the all encompassing serenity. With the moon in the sky and stars in my eyes, every moment felt like a secret between me and the universe. Something we alone shared.Â
I whispered secrets to the earth and held hers in return. My days felt like dreams. Distant, blurry, faded. It was only then, in the distinct stillness of midnight, that I truly came alive.Â
Interesting, you think. Itâs a bit more melodramatic than you expected, but maybe your professor prefers a poetic touch.Â
In the night, I earned peace. And in the night, I learned fear.Â
It came slowly at first, that sinking feeling of dread. The horrible suspicion that made the hair on the back of my neck feel sharp, the air in my throat feel shallow.Â
But if I have learned anything of monsters, it is that they revel in that fear. That sickeningly overt reminder of mortality, of humanity. The way I couldnât help the racing of my pulse, the darting of my eyes.Â
He enjoyed it, toying with me from the shadows. Watching me become desperate, watching me become weak.Â
But it paled in comparison, Iâm sure, with what came next. Every story has its climax, and every beginning has its end. For him, it was the sweet, clean taste of my blood.Â
Wait. Another vampire story? One was strange enough, but for the last two published works at New Haven to be vampire related doesnât feel like a coincidence. Especially since the more you read, the more you realize itâs not as much of a story as it is thinly veiled anti-vampire rhetoric.Â
The dramatized descriptions of a weak, innocent female lead being victimized by a faceless, bloodthirsty monster. It just feels⊠strange. Outdated. Irrelevant, even.Â
Clicking back to the list, you scan over the next five entries. All of them are more or less the same. Some are more metaphorical than others, abstract in their rhetoric, but the topic is always the same. And the conclusion always affirms the immense, inevitable, irredeemable blight that vampirism is to the world.Â
Itâs just bizarre. Especially considering that Professor Kim never once had you analyze any anti-vampire propaganda throughout the entire semester. In fact, you were never assigned to read anything vampire related at all.Â
If this type of literature is so central to his professional career, it doesn't make sense to you that he wouldnât incorporate it into his class. Especially considering the fact that he was awarding an internship at New Haven to one of the students.Â
You take another long sip of cold tea. Well⊠you could try to come up with something that aligns with the current profile of New Havenâs recently published works. Itâs not like youâve ever written anything related to vampires. Maybe you just need to think of it as a writing exercise, a challenge of sorts. Producing a piece that feels relevant and fresh even if the central topic is a bit out of style.Â
According to the revision schedule Professor Kim gave you, your first draft issue in a week and a half. The same day that youâre set to go to New Haven for the first time and tour the office youâll be interning at once winter break is over. Itâs an ambitious timeline, but he did specify that heâs looking more for a solid concept than a well polished draft. But something in you wants to have more than just a concept. You want his approval, to impress him.Â
So you have a week and a half to come up with a draft that will catch his attention, that will convince him that you were the right choice for this opportunity. Not anyone else in your class. Not Heeseung. You.Â
A concept that will excite New Haven Publishing Houseâs usual reader base, that will maybe actually earn you some commercial success.Â
A story that will prove to your parents that literature was the right choice for you. That your words do matter, that you can make a name for yourself with your writing.Â
Well, you think, suppressing an internal groan, it looks like you have your work cut out for you.Â
âŠ..
Despite your admitted lack of vampiric knowledge, once you have your topic, the words start to flow. Youâre not sure if itâs your best work. Youâre not even sure if itâs good. But it feels a hell of a lot better than staring at a blank page for hours.Â
This afternoon finds you in the corner of your favorite coffee shop. Mostly because they offer half priced lattes on Wednesdays. As you make a dent in yours, the pen in your other hand continues to fly over the pages of your notebook, occasionally stopping to scratch out a word or rewrite a sentence.Â
The bare bones are there. Just like in the handful of stories you perused on New Havenâs website, your plot features a young woman. Itâs a historic setting, mostly because you still canât quite bring yourself to write vampires into the modern day when the reality is so starkly different.Â
And itâs not a vampire story. At least not at first glance. Instead, you weave an enduring metaphor to symbolize a parasitic relationship between two lovers.
The woman in your draft is young, full of life and energy and optimism. And she dreams. Vivid, brilliant dreams that she clings to in order to escape the harshness of her reality as a lower class woman in the countryside.Â
Her husband, however, is a brute. Older than her and with a decidedly less sunny disposition. When he learns that his health is failing, he discovers that he can heal himself temporarily by stealing these dreams from her.Â
So, no. Itâs not overtly about vampires. But it does fall into step with some of the more abstract anti-vampire tropes you came across in your preliminary research.Â
Crossing a dark line through the word you just penned, you sigh.Â
This is the fastest youâve put a story together in ages. Itâs cohesive, and the writing is solid. Your use of metaphor is strong and concise, and the prose feels true to your identity as a writer.Â
But something in you withers a bit with every new word you commit to paper. Itâs not that you hate your topic. If anything, itâs just that you have no stake in it at all. It doesn't feel innovative or exciting or representative of your creativity.Â
No matter how easily the words flow out of you, something about it just feels⊠flat. One dimensional.Â
You need something new. A different angle or an alternative perspective or⊠Or a fresh set of eyes.Â
Struck with a sudden idea, you pull out your phone, plan taking form in your mind. The literature club at your university hosts bimonthly peer review sessions, and you havenât taken advantage of them nearly as much as you should. Theyâre a chance for any writer, literature major or otherwise, to come together and workshop any piece of writing of their choice.Â
Tapping your finger impatiently on the table, you wait for the page to load. The fall semester did end almost a week ago, so it may be a long shot. Youâre not sure if the club typically holds sessions over winter break. But as you pull up the clubâs calendar of events, a small smile tugs at your lips.Â
Luck seems to be on your side this time. Itâs written there in plain, bold font that there will be a session this upcoming Friday evening. That means that if you attend the session and get some solid ideas for revision, youâll have exactly five days to refine your draft before you present it to Professor Kim.Â
The idea of having not only a topic, as the schedule outlined, but an actual complete, well-written draft to show him next Wednesday, turns your small smile into one that overtakes your features.Â
Energized with a new vigor, you reach for your pen again. It doesnât have to be perfect, you remind yourself, even as a turn of phrase makes you cringe. Even as a piece of punctuation feels out of place. It just needs to be written. You just need to have as much content as you can to share on Friday.Â
Besides, youâre sure that a second opinion will help you fine tune this story into something youâre proud to share, something youâre excited to attach your name to.
The afternoon is quick to blur into early evening, and youâre still bent over your favorite corner table. Coffee long drained, youâre full of a new confidence. The thought of proving yourself suddenly doesnât seem like such an unachievable, out of reach task.Â
And when you do finally gather up all of your belongings and make your way back to your apartment for the night, youâre sure that this is the exact boost you needed.Â
That same stroke of self-assuredness carries you all the way through a finished first draft. Itâs rough and messy and littered with loose ends, but itâs tucked away in the bottom of your tote bag with a smile as you haul it to classroom number 105 in the university liberal arts building Friday evening.Â
You pause at the door to the classroom, only for a moment. The inhale you breathe in is deep, full. Nodding to yourself once, you push open the door.Â
You havenât been to one of these workshop sessions since the second semester of your first year, back when you had just switched to a literature major. You remember being wide-eyed and incredibly protective over your work. It was hard to part with it, to let anyone else read over the sentences you were so unsure of. The writing you had little confidence in.Â
But your partner had been kind. Another girl in her first year, she had nothing but gentle feedback to give and reassurance that your writing was worth reading. Honestly, it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience that you would have come back for more sessions if you werenât constantly struggling to find minutes to spare in the day.Â
Youâre hoping that tonight will be just as rewarding as you enter the classroom, tote bag in tow. But as you survey the space around you, your face falls flat, easy going smile dropping from your lips.Â
You werenât expecting a big crowd, considering that it is winter break and most students are deliberately avoiding campus right now, but you were hoping thereâd be more than one other person in attendance.Â
Well, you think, deciding to look on the bright side of things. At least youâre not the only person.Â
The other attendee is sitting in the far corner of the room, occupying a desk near the front of the classroom. At the sound of your entrance, they turn to face you.Â
With that, your small disappointment is quick to snowball into an intense wave of exasperation. Because why is the universe so hellbent on playing games with you?
Your mouth drops open without your permission. âHeeseung?âÂ
Your sudden outburst fills the room and lingers long into the awkward silence that follows. You hadnât meant to say anything, but really, what are the god forsaken odds?
If heâs bothered by your reaction to seeing him, Heeseung doesnât show it. Instead he looks strangely⊠relieved. It makes absolutely no sense for him to feel any sort of relief at the sight of you, but itâs hard to put a more apt descriptor to the way tension drains from his shoulders, crease between his brows softening as he looks at you, scans you from head to toe.Â
A moment of stilted silence passes between the two of you. Another. Your heartbeat feels too loud in your chest.
You exhale, a cross between a scoff and a laugh so humorless it could freeze a flame. Weighing your options, the most tempting by far is to just turn on your heel and exit the way you came.Â
Heeseung seems to read your intention before you can commit to it.Â
Breaking the heaviness in the atmosphere, he acts as if youâve greeted him like an old friend, not as the source of all your recent headaches.Â
âHi,â he nods, so tentatively you almost want to let your jaw drop open in shock. Almost.Â
Because what the fuck does he mean by âHi?â This has to be some kind of mind game, some way to get in your head and ruin this for you.Â
âRight.â Your lips pull into a tight line. You donât bother to return his greeting. âIâm just gonna go, then.â Hiking up your bag on your shoulder, you turn to do just that. Your first draft will just have to be unpolished. Oh, well. Youâre sure Professor Kim will have better feedback for you than Lee Heeseung ever would anyway.Â
Once again, Heeseungâs voice cuts across the classroom. âWait.â Thereâs a command in his voice. Gentle, but firm. Insistent. So pervasive that you find yourself following without really meaning to.Â
Mind made up and dead set on leaving, now youâre just annoyed. What a waste of a Friday evening.
âWhat?â You turn back to him. Youâre not sure if thereâs more venom in your voice or your eyes.Â
And Heeseung, who commands a classroom with quiet grace, with his steady, unwavering presence, suddenly looks so damn unsure. As if tormenting you is uncharted territory. As if heâs never once left you in the cold with flaming cheeks and a thoroughly shattered ego.Â
âIâŠâ he trails off, not quite meeting your furious gaze. âDidnât you come here to get feedback?â
âRight.â You scoff again. âBecause Iâm sure youâd love nothing more than to tear my writing to shreds. Forgive me, but Iâm not interested in being the butt end of your joke tonight.â
âWhat?â If you didnât know any better, the ignorance he feigns would be rather convincing. âThatâs not why Iâm here.â He shakes his head. âI brought something I want reviewed too.âÂ
Your brow arches. He canât be serious. âEven if I did stay,â you counter, âyouâre actually the last person I would want to read my work. Feel free to be offended by that, by the way.â
For a solid minute, Heeseung just looks at you. He wears that same damn deer-in-the-headlights expression he had after you brushed him off when he intercepted you in class the other day. He pauses, weighing words on his tongue. âLook, ____.â The sound of your name on his lips strikes a strange chord in you. Until now, you were certain he didnât even know it. âDid I do something to offendââ
And no. Absolutely not. No way are you rehashing that day in the quad with him now.Â
âYou know what,â you interrupt. You need to go. Now. You need an out. âIâm actually, like, super tired. I think Iâm just gonna head back, andââ
But then itâs his turn to cut off your train of thought. âItâs your piece for Professor Kim, isnât it?â Heeseung takes your silence as confirmation. âPublishing is a big deal. A second set of eyes will only make your work stronger. And if you hate my feedback, itâs not like you have to use any of it.â
You hate it. You despise the way his reasoning matches your internal monologue nearly word for word. The way your thoughts align exactly.Â
You pause, a decision weighing heavy on your mind. He is an excellent writer⊠There would probably be substance to his feedback. Real, actual, good substance that you could use to make your writing bloom into something truly amazing. He could be the exact spark you need to make your story come to life.Â
You purse your lips. âWhatâs in it for you?â
Heeseung smiles, a nearly imperceptible quirk of his lips. He knows heâs won. âLike I said, I brought something Iâve been working on.â Thereâs an intention you canât quite read behind his gaze when he adds, âI want to know what you think of it.â
Hook, line, and sinker.
With a grumble, you take reluctant steps towards where he sits on the opposite side of the classroom. And if you slide down into the seat next to him with a little more force than necessary, well, itâs just because youâve had a long week. No other reason. None at all.Â
âFine,â you relent, reaching to pull your notebook out of your bag. âYou get twenty minutes.â
âThatâs not nearly long enoââ
âThirty,â you concede. âAnd donât push it.â
Sensing your disdain, Heeseung doesnât respond. Instead, he accepts the notebook you reluctantly hand him with an outstretched hand and an open palm. The transfer between the two of you is gentle. You have the distinct sense that heâll treat your work with care, in more than one way.Â
Still, something in your heart seizes at the thought of letting your work be read. Of letting him be the one to read it.Â
In return, he offers you a notebook of his own. Bound in brown, aged leather, itâs certainly much more refined than yours. Of course.Â
He hands it to you still closed. Staring down at the cover, you ask, âWhat page?â It feels intrusive to start flipping through his writing uninvited.Â
âThereâs a bookmark.â Heeseung nods his chin towards the small piece of paper sticking out of the top edge that you missed at first glance.Â
And then the transfer is complete. A piece of your heart is spread open on his desk, and a piece of his soul is in your hands.Â
Ignoring the way your fingers tremble with a slight shake, you delicately open his notebook to the bookmarked page, letting it fall open on the desk in front of you.Â
At first glance, the writing strikes you as odd. The paragraphs are strange lengths, ending at random junctures instead of extending all the way to the margins. And then it hits you. Theyâre not paragraphs. Theyâre stanzas.Â
Poetry. Lee Heeseung writes poetry.Â
You sneak a sidelong glance at him out of your periphery. Heâs already engrossed in the pages of your notebook, pausing occasionally to jot a note down on a scrap piece of paper. His brow is furrowed, and thereâs a tension in his jawline that only makes it sharper.Â
Still, the image of his profile is shrouded in a distinct sort of softness. The kind of effortless beauty that feels like it should be reserved for intimate moments in the dead of night, secrets passed between lovers. Itâs wasted under the fluorescent lights and patchy, beige walls of an underfunded classroom, but you waste another minute staring at him all the same.Â
For a fleeting moment, itâs not hard to imagine those hands, those long, delicate fingers maintaining an even grip on a ballpoint pen to write something as romantic as poetry.Â
Shaking your head, you clear the errant thoughts. Instead, you turn your focus back to the page in front of you and begin with the first poem. Forcing your eyes to focus, you read.Â
As if nothing happened,
She looks at me
With shadowless eyes.
But it is me who has beenÂ
Forgiven and reborn countless times.
You inhale. Exhale. Short and succinct with a distinct twinge of tragedy. That was⊠not what you were expecting. Pushing forward, you move onto the next entry.Â
Even the stars in the universe
Will close their eyes one day.
Underneath their watchful gaze,
All of these moments are precious.
For memory, for regret,
I will carve them
Into the repetition of the moment.
Again, you pause, taking a moment to breathe. Itâs so⊠melancholy, so poignant in its evocation of pain, of regret. While youâve been familiar with Heeseungâs ability to analyze the hell out of a novella, this was not something you thought youâd find in his repertoire. And the more you read on, the more you realize these arenât flukes. This is his identity as a writer, or at least a significant part of it.Â
The world that abandoned us
Slowly turns to ash.Â
But I donât feel the pain.Â
I only feel the cold.
My god. You nearly close the notebook on instinct. Without your permission, your eyes flick ove to the desk next to you. The broad set of shoulders that fill the seat. What has this boy been through? Why is he letting you read this?Â
Heeseung looks up. Not at you, but the movement is enough to startle you out of your staring. Returning your eyes to his notebook, you read the last entry on the page.Â
A shaded castle with no sun
The thick scent of dying roses never fades.Â
In a broken mirror, I see myself.Â
And my reflection whispers, âMonster.â
The breath you release is long. Audible. Youâre overcome with the urge to run your fingers over his words, to feel the indents his pen made as he carved pain into the page. His writing is gorgeous. Itâs beautifully, tragically haunting. Of that much, youâre certain. But you have no idea what to do with that information.Â
His words feel too raw, too terribly intimate. Like something that was never meant for your eyes. You canât understand what on earth possibly possessed him to let â no â to encourage you to read these.Â
You canât fathom any kind of feedback you could offer him. These feel like pieces of his soul, not something to be commodified or commented on in a writing workshop. Discussed in the cold, unfeeling walls of an old classroom.
Despite the discomfort that lingers with each passing stanza, his writing has an almost addictive quality. Over and over, you find yourself rereading each brief poem. Youâre searching for meaning, for clarity, for something hidden between the lines that you missed on your first handful of reads.Â
Thirty minutes pass in a trance, and Heeseung, true to his word, is the one to break the silence when your half hour is up.Â
Mind still reeling, you realize with a sinking feeling that you have absolutely no feedback to give him at all.Â
Instead, you turn to face him. Throwing a meaningful glance at where your notebook still lies open on the desk in front of him. Doing your best to not look too hopeful, you ask, âWell?â
For a moment, Heeseung just looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Tension pulls at his temple, his jaw. Frustration seeps from beneath his skin, and you canât tell where itâs directed.Â
âOh, come on,â you prod when his silence extends even longer. âI know youâre dying to spill the gory details of how grossly incompetent I am and how horrifically amateur my writing is, so donâtââ
Heeseung wastes no fanfare. âThis is awful.â
Your lips flatten. âOr just cut right to the chase.â
Heâs quick to clarify. âBut not for any of the reasons you just listed. I mean, sure, there are some craft issues here, but even those seem like a result of your concept.â
âWhatâs wrong with my concept?â The edge of defensiveness in your voice escapes without your permission.Â
Heeseung just levels you with a look. Returning his gaze to your notebook, he reads from your draft verbatim, â...Stashing away the light from her life. Tucking it into his back pocket like extra change just for the satisfaction of temporary happiness. It was never love that bound him to her, but the promise of a never ending fountain of life. Of wishes and thoughts and hopes and dreams that he could use to sustain himself as long as he subjected himself to the numbing pleasure of existing at her side.âÂ
He raises an eyebrow, turns back to you. âI mean, really, ____? Iâve read some nauseatingly vitriolic vampire pieces in my life, and this just about has all of them beat. Besides, the whole vampire thing just feels so⊠irrelevant. Do people still read this stuff anymore?â
Your first instinct is to defend yourself, your work, even if his thoughts mirror your own. Before you can, Heeseung is pressing on. You donât have the space to get a word in sideways. âI mean, what happened to the writing from that piece you presented back in September? I donât remember all the details, but there was something about watching birds land on water and connecting it to the feeling of belonging but never truly fitting in.â He looks at you again. Thereâs more emotion, more glittering life in his eyes than youâve ever seen from him before. âThat was a fresh take and a well done metaphor.â
Your mind is reeling. Itâs far too much information to take in all at once. But something stands out amongst the rest. Because that almost sounded likeâÂ
âWas that a compliment?â It seems unlikely, but you canât find another way to take his words. âYou paid attention to my presentation?âÂ
You liked it? You donât ask that question out loud, but the needier parts of you crave his answer anyway.
âYeah, of course I did. Peer review was a mandatory component of the course.â Heeseungâs cheekbones remain the same, even, honey-tinted tone, but you swear you see a flash of embarrassment in the way he averts his gaze.Â
âWell, yeah.â Itâs not a justification that holds much weight in your mind. âBut you donât exactly seem like the type to really pay attention to other peopleâs stuff. Especially if you think itâs not worth your time.â
âI just told you your presentation was good, didnât I?â
You arch a brow. âYeah, right after you finished calling my draft horrific.â
Heeseung shakes his head. âI didnât say it was horrificâŠâ
âOh, please. Spare us both the semantics. Thatâs what you meant.â Youâre not sure why your mind always goes back to that day in the quad, but you find yourself still sore from his rejection, his new assertion of your work poking at old wounds. Picking at poorly healed scabs. âAnd itâs not like you were jumping for joy at the chance to review my work back then, either.â
Heeseungâs brow furrows. You can practically see the gears turning in his mind. Youâre not sure if it makes you feel better or worse, the fact that he doesnât seem to remember that day at all.Â
In the end, you decide to spare him the effort of empty recollection. With a sigh, you spill your shame. At least this time around, youâre the only two that will bear witness. âThat one day in class. Back at the beginning of the semester. We had to present our analysis of that one short story. You remember, the one about planting seeds in bad soil.â Heeseung nods, but thereâs no spark of realization. Not yet.Â
Continuing, it only pains you slightly to admit, âYour analysis was brilliant, and I gushed about it in front of the whole class. Laid it on thick with the compliments. And then after class, I stopped you in the quad.â Something flickers over Heeseungâs features. A memory tugging at the back of his mind. âWhen I asked if you wanted to review each otherâs pieces for the next assignment, you completely brushed me off.â
Brow still pulled downwards, Heeseung is thinking back to that day, too. But it doesn't seem to hold the same awful, leaden weight in his mind. âI didnât brush you off,â he argues. âI think I said I was busy.â
It takes a lot of willpower not to let your jaw drop open. âThatâs brushing someone off!â Your voice is too loud for the near empty classroom, for your close proximity. âLike literally the textbook definition. Everyone knows that âIâm busyâ is code for âleave me the hell alone.ââ
Almost imperceptibly, Heeseungâs features soften as he watches yours strain. The fluorescent light bulbs that fill the room suddenly donât seem quite as harsh when he says, âWell, that's not what I meant. I was busy.â
Itâs hardly a satisfying answer. But you suppose it makes little difference. If he wants to stick to his story, youâll continue to feign indifference. âWhatever. Itâs not like it matters now anyway.â
And then your mind is back on his poems. His beautiful, tragic, gorgeously phrased stanzas scribbled in his handwriting. Fragments of vulnerability that he handed to you without hesitation.Â
Itâs like comparing apples to oranges in a way, but there is no doubt in your mind that between the two of you, the writing he brought tonight is better. Better than your story, better than most things youâve ever written, probably. The imagery is evocative, striking in a way youâve never quite been able to achieve no matter how many seminars and workshops and lectures you attend.Â
Not for the first time, your brain dangles a dangerous thought in a place where you canât avoid it. What if Professor Kim chose wrong? What if Heeseung hadnât been late to class that day? Would you be sitting here with a mediocre draft and a raging inferiority complex?
Youâll never know, not really, but you find yourself asking anyway, âWhy were you late to class that day?â
As soon as the words leave your mouth, you wish you could take them back. Itâs not like his answer will change anything. And itâs invasive. Far too personal to ask someone you barely know. That up until thirty minutes ago, you actively avoided.Â
But maybe the universe is on your side for once. Maybe you got ridiculously lucky and he didnât hear you, despite the fact that itâs dead silent in this classroom. Maybeâ
âWhat?â
Or not.
Well, youâre committed now. âThe last day of class. When the winner for the publishing opportunity was announced,â you clarify. âYou were late. Honestly,â you add with a wry smile, âyouâd probably be the one writing overdramatic vampire slander right now if you hadnât been.â
Itâs a self-deprecating joke. It might land poorly, but youâre hoping it will lighten the atmosphere.Â
A dark shadow crosses Heeseungâs features. âTrust me, ___. You winning had nothing to do with me being late that day.â
If he thinks flattery will get him anywhere, heâs wrong. You can feel your frustrations bubbling in your throat, clawing at your mind. You won. You beat him. So why doesnât it feel like it? Why doesnât it feel like anything you do is ever good enough?
âCâmon, Heeseung.â He doesnât deserve your anger. At least, not now. But he gets it anyway. Insecurities and inferiority and frustration all wrapped in rage. âYou were practically a shoe-in, and everyone knows it.â
Heâs just as insistent. Leaning towards you slightly, he looks anything but aloof now. âNo I wasnât. Professor Kim chose you to intern with him. He read both of our submissions all semester and chose you to publish with his firm. I told you, your writing is good. Really good.â Glancing down at your notebook, he adds, âEven if this one is a bit⊠uninspired.â
A compliment and a slight. His version of the truth, wrapped up in a bow and delivered right to your waiting ears. You donât know whether to be furious or overjoyed. Maybe it would be best to feel absolutely nothing at all. It scares you, just how much weight his opinion holds.Â
But approval from him has its way of feeling like a long sought victory, and now the air feels fraught with something delicate, fragile. Precarious, even.Â
Itâs early evening in a threadbare classroom. The most neutral territory imaginable. But itâs the two of you, alone, secluded. And suddenly, that frightens you.Â
âRight.â You wonât tell him âthank youâ for the compliment or âgo fuck yourselfâ for the criticism. Both options feel like you would be revealing too much.Â
Instead, you take a glance at the clock. Itâs not late, but itâs an excuse. âI should probably get going.â
Heeseung exhales. Leans back in his seat. âOf course,â he concedes easily, reaching to hand you your notebook.
You do the same with his, almost sad to watch his poetry pass from your hands to his. Itâs odd, the way his words already feel like something youâll miss.Â
You realize then that he hasnât asked you for your opinion on his work. For your advice on how to make it better. In all honesty, youâre relieved. You havenât the slightest idea what you would say.Â
So instead, you busy yourself with repacking your tote bag. In your haste, you knock your pen off of your desk. The sound it makes as it strikes the thinning carpet canât be loud, but it feels thunderous in your ears.Â
As you reach to pick it up, Heeseung does the same. Thereâs a moment, fleeting but unmistakable, when the skin of his hand brushes against yours.Â
Instantly, Heeseung recoils as if youâve burned him. His hand is back in his own space at a speed so fast you nearly miss it.Â
It was an accident, a tiny blip with no real consequences, but the way heâs looking at you with those damn eyes makes you feel like you should be apologizing.Â
âSorry.â The severity of his reaction stings like rejection. Itâs not like heâs exactly your favorite person either, but at least you have the common decency to not look repulsed at the thought of touching him. At the accidental brushing of your hands.Â
Heeseung frowns. Shakes his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts. âNo, IâŠâ he trails off, letting his words hang in the air for a moment. âIâm sorry,â he concludes, but it feels disingenuous. And he doesnât bother to elaborate. Looking over your shoulder, he reads the clock on the wall. âItâs getting kind of late. Where are you parked? I can walk you to your car.â
His hands are busy putting his notebook back in his back. Itâs a considerate offer, but coming on the tail end of everything else, it doesnât hold much weight with you. His words donât match his actions, and you decide youâd be a fool to take them at face value.Â
âDonât bother. Iâm walking home, not driving.â
Heeseung freezes, hand still inside his bag. Heâs not looking at you, but you feel the weight of his attention all the same. âDo you need someone to walk with you?â
The way he phrases the question makes you feel like a burden. Heâs asking if you need someone to walk with you, not offering because he wants to. A subtle difference maybe, but the last thing you want is to feel like you owe him any favors.Â
âNo, Iâll be fine.â
âAre you sure?â He does look at you now, concern painted across his features. âItâs getting dark earlier these days, andââ
His words are wasted on you. Youâre already halfway to the door. âIâm sure.â But before you leave, you decide one more hit to your pride canât worsen the damage thatâs already been done. At least this time, it will be by your doing. Standing under the doorframe, you turn back to him. âThank you for your feedback. It was good to hear an honest opinion.â
Your words sink into the air. Linger for a moment.Â
Heeseung nods. Something in his jaw tightens. âYou know, if you do decide to change topics, Iâd be happy to read whatever you write.â
It almost sounds like another compliment. Or maybe another insult. Either way, youâre sure that even if you figure it out, youâll still have no idea what to do with it. You nod, only once, and then your back is turned again before you can linger too long on any of it.Â
But his words, the sweet ones this time, replay in your mind the entire walk home.Â
Maybe if you werenât so distracted by the ghosts of compliments, youâd have noticed the pair of quiet, even footsteps that trailed after you in the distance. That only retreated once the front door to your apartment was pulled shut and locked tight behind you.Â
Then again, maybe not. Heeseung has always had a knack for going undetected.Â
âŠ..
You wake up the next morning with Heeseungâs words replaying in your mind.Â
Awful. Irrelevant. And of course your favorite, ânauseatingly vitriolic vampire piece.â
In the faded glow of morning light, you groan out loud to your empty bedroom. The worst part of it all is that heâs not even wrong. But itâs Saturday morning, and your first draft is due on Wednesday. The thought of starting a new story from scratch and writing it to completion within that time frame is enough to make you want to curl into a ball and screw your eyes shut until you can pretend the world outside your bedroom is nothing but a figment of your imagination.Â
So no, you donât think you can start over entirely. But maybe, just maybe, you can rework things. Tweak the narrative to feel less cliche, less outdated. More true to you.Â
Part of you wants to abandon the vampire concept entirely, convinced itâs whatâs holding you down. The other part is hesitant to do so based on New Havenâs list of recently published works.Â
And while Heeseungâs criticism was the confirmation you needed that your story needs reworking, itâs not like he gave you any ideas as to what you should change. What direction you should take.
Nauseatingly vitriolic vampire piece. That seemed to be Heeseungâs biggest problem with your draft. Not that it alluded to vampirism. No, you think he disliked that it was a tired and rehashed propaganda piece on the inherent evilness of vampires.Â
Everyone knows that vampires were monsters. Writing about it, no matter how many metaphors and symbolic phrases you wrap it up in, just isnât interesting.Â
Thatâs the route youâll take, then, you decide. You donât have to invent a new concept out of thin air. You just need to find a way to bring something new to the table. Something worth reading. Climbing out of bed, you switch your pajamas for clothes more acceptable in public.Â
And then you make your way to the university library.Â
Just as you suspected, itâs essentially empty. Between long rows of meticulously shelved books, vacant study rooms, and community computers, the only other person you see is the librarian that greets you as you arrive. Even her eyebrows raise in mild shock to see someone else during the break, and on a weekend at that.
Heading to the second floor, the first section you peruse through is historical records. But between old newspapers, reports, and journals, the content itself is quite cut and dry. Detached descriptions of vampire attacks that only contain details of the date, time, and death toll arenât exactly riveting. And you donât think theyâll do much for your feeble draft.Â
Before long, you move away from the nonfiction section. Navigating to supernatural fiction on the third floor, you start browsing titles. Vampire stories make up a rather small portion of the texts, and from what you can tell, the vast majority align with what you found on New Havenâs website.Â
From Demons of the Dark to Left in Cold Blood, you doubt that most of what you find will offer any kind of new perspective. But on your third, slightly desperate scouring of the shelf, you make a discovery.Â
Itâs a small, nondescript book. The muted tones and faded lettering on the spine go easily undetected amongst the much flashier copies of anti-vampire propaganda itâs nestled between.Â
Pulling the book out from the shelf with a delicate touch, you flip the cover face-up in your hand.Â
Sacred Monsters: A Collection of Essays on the Origins of Immortality
It piques your interest. At the very least, it seems different from all the other novels.Â
Book in hand, you make your way to a nearby desk. Once youâre settled in, you pull out your notebook, opening to a new page with the intention of taking notes.Â
The book you lay on the desk next to your notebook seems like itâs lived a long life, the old scent of dust and aged paper and time all contained within its pages. Flipping open the front cover, you look for an author or publication date. But thereâs nothing there, not even a title page or a table of contents.Â
Glossing over the slight oddity, you decide the beginning is as good a place as any to start.Â
The Taste of Blood, is the title at the top of the page.Â
And the first sentence begins:
It is neither sweet nor particularly savory. There is no distinct aroma, no compelling flavor profile, nothing that appeals to the eye or excites the taste buds. The only merit is the fact that it is necessary. For even those blessed with immortality know what it means to survive. And even those cursed to live forever know what it means to die.Â
Frowning, you flip back to the cover, as if that will provide any clarity for the strange passage you just read. But nothing is different. Nothing new stands out. Just the same, faded title. No author or indication of any kind of publication date.Â
Intrigued, you turn back and resume where you left off.Â
Some are said to enjoy the act. The purity of release, of giving in to the instincts that can be convinced into domesticity but never fully silenced. I have never found such relief. The ghost of my humanity has always been stronger than the voice of the monster, even as he screams with unbounded ferocity.Â
Without it, I feel incomplete. With it, I feel irredeemable. Even now, I dodge the truth, omit the profane. I have seen many moons, enjoyed their silver glow. I have stolen the very same pleasure from countless others. And yet, I struggle to call it by name. I cannot reconcile the battles waged in my bones, the war fought in my mind.Â
There is no winner in either. All that remains in the taste of it. Lingering on my breath. Haunting my waking dreams. That which I cannot name.Â
The taste of blood.Â
In my fervor, it soothes like honey. In my regret, it turns to ash.Â
And still, nothing changes. And still, nothing remains the same.
-- Anonymous
Well, if you were looking for something different, you found it. Because what the absolute fuck are you reading? If you didnât know any better, youâd think it were written from the perspective of a vampire.Â
Then again, shelved in the fiction section, you suppose itâs plausible. Actual vampires may have housed little room in their consciousness for anything outside of bloodlust, but it is an interesting idea to think of vampires as conflicted. Haunted by the brutality of their innate instincts.Â
Youâre not exactly sure how or if this will be able to influence your own story for the better, but something about it makes you want to keep reading.Â
Alone, tucked amongst the dusty shelves of a neglected section of the library, you lose yourself between the pages of the mysterious book.Â
As the title indicated, itâs a collection of essays. Most are quite short, around the same length as the first one you read. And none are claimed by an author. All are signed off with the same boldface type that spells Anonymous. There are subtle differences in the writing though, stylistic choices that make you think that more than one person wrote these essays.Â
Despite that, theyâre all woven together by a common thread. The first essay, as you discover, was not a fluke. Every single one is written in first person from the perspective of a vampire.Â
The writing is compelling, humorous in places and deeply upsetting in others. It seems odd to you, just how much humanity is captured within the pages, within each turn of phrase.Â
You feel inclined to root for the narrator in some stories and abjectly horrified by them in others. But never once does the writing make you think that vampires are incapable of self-actualization, of reflection, of morality.Â
In all honesty, aside from Heeseungâs poems, itâs the most interesting thing youâve read in ages. So much so that by the time you realize youâve finished the last essay, the winter sun is teeming dangerously close to the horizon, and the library is nearing its closing hours.Â
The notebook page you intended to use for notes, to jot down points of inspiration, is still woefully blank. But as you make your way back to the front of the library, the small, strange book comes along with you.Â
Stopping at the front desk to formally check it out, the librarian frowns when she enters the number from the spine into the system. She clicks around on her computer for a moment longer before handing the book back to you.Â
âIâm sorry, but the book isnât coming up in our system for some reason. Would you mind writing down your student ID number for me? Iâll have to enter the information manually.â
You oblige her request, tucking the book into your bag before you leave.Â
Itâs chilly outside, the cold clutches of winter gaining a full grasp on the crisp, frigid air. After a long day in a stuffy library, the freezing air is almost soothing. Tucking your hands into your pockets, you turn towards the direction that will take you home.Â
Youâve barely taken five steps when a voice calls your name from behind. Pausing, you turn to find the source of the sound.Â
âHeeseung?â But thereâs no mistaking it. That is most definitely Lee Heeseung, currently jogging towards you on the otherwise empty sidewalk in front of the university library.Â
He catches up to you easily, no sign of perspiration or even a hint of breathlessness when he asks, âWhat are you doing walking alone at night?â As if youâre the strange one in this situation.
You give him a once over. The loose jeans and dark winter coat he wears are nothing special, but he wears them well regardless. You suppress the urge to sigh. âI could ask you the same.â
âFair enough.â His tone is too light, too casual. Like heâs forcing it. Like heâs hiding something. âAre you headed home? Iâll walk you there.â
And if you werenât suspicious before, you sure as hell are now. Why on earth would he want to walk you home? âIâm fine, thanks.â You turn away from him, heading in the direction of your apartment and hoping heâll take the hint.Â
Your wish goes ungranted. He matches your pace easily, even as you try to quicken it. âItâs after dark, ___. And there are a lot ofâŠâ He trails off, searching for the right word. âstrange people out at night these days. Iâm not letting you walk home alone.â
Lips tight, you donât bother looking at him. The idea of Heeseung letting you do anything makes you want to throw things. âIâll be fine.â
But heâs persistent. Heâs all smiles and a strange amount of desperate when he says, âEither you let me walk you back or Iâll just follow you at a weird distance, which will be far more uncomfortable for both of us.â
That makes you stop in your tracks. And now you do turn to look at him. âWell, when you put it that wayâŠâ
Heeseung nods, âExactly. Soââ
You arch an unimpressed brow, crossing your arms over your chest. âIt sounds like youâre the strange person at night I need to stay away from.â
Heeseung sighs, matches your eye. A strand of hair falls into his eyes, and he pushes it away with long fingers. âAre you gonna start walking or are we gonna stand here and argue a little longer?â
âYou donât even know where I live.â
âWhat a great night to find out.â
You stare at him a moment longer, lips tight. You donât want to be the one to give in, to hand him any kind of victory, no matter how small.Â
But it is getting late. The walk from campus to your apartment is never one thatâs made you uneasy, but it never hurts to have someone at your side. Besides, you think he was serious about following you. Heâs made it clear that heâll be tagging along one way or another.Â
âFine,â you huff, arms still crossed over your chest. âBut only because the streetlight a few blocks away is out.â
Heeseung inclines his head, a minute acknowledgement. Thereâs a hint of movement at the corner of his lips. âNaturally.â
You resume walking, and he falls into your pace with a practiced ease, hands in his pocket, eyes on the stars. Itâs a cloudless evening. The sky above you feels vast, immense as the last rays of daylight lie to rest on the distant horizon.Â
With a slight shiver, you pull your jacket tighter around your body. Heeseung notices the movement. Parts his lips as if he wants to say something. Changes his mind. Closes them.Â
Youâve just reached the far edge of campus when he breaks the steady silence.Â
âHowâs your draft coming?â
âItâsâŠâ You trail off, not sure how well honesty will serve you here. It feels vulnerable, like a blatant weakness to admit that youâve got nothing. But something about cold air and the vast expanse of night has you wanting to tell the truth. âNot great.â
Heeseung lets your response settle. Turns it over in his mind a few times. Youâve noticed that about him. Heâs careful with his responses. Weighs his words before breathing them to life. âStill looking for inspiration?â
âI donât know if itâs inspiration I need.â Itâs easier to talk to him like this, when your eyes have something to focus on, when your body has the constant repetition of steps to occupy part of your mind. Without little distractions like these, Heeseung has a way of becoming all consuming. âI feel like I backed myself into a corner with the vampire concept. Iâm not sure if there's really anything there to explore that wonât feel outdated and irrelevant.âÂ
âMm,â Heeseung muses. Itâs noncommittal, neither an agreement nor an argument. âMaybe. You said it yourself; vampires are nothing but bloodlust. Riled completely by instinct. Nothing left of their humanity.â
Frowning, your footsteps almost falter. âI didnât say that.â
âForgive me.â If thereâs a tinge of bitterness in his tone, you suppose it must be because of the cold. The fact that heâs wasting his Saturday night walking you home. âHeavily implied it.â
âHonestly, the only reason I even wrote that story was because there were a lot of similar ones on New Havenâs list of recently published works.â Your reasoning feels almost stupid when you admit it aloud like this. Youâve always prided yourself on your originality, your commitment to staying true to yourself as a writer. But when push comes to shove, you let your desire to impress your professor get in the way of that. âI wanted something that would align with their usual publications.âÂ
Youâve admitted a weakness, a poorly made choice. Youâre expecting ire, more of that haughty contempt. But Heeseungâs mind is going in an entirely different direction.
Heâs not questioning your abilities, not even alluding to them at all when he asks, âWhat do you think of vampires, then?â
His question catches you off guard. Why on earth would he care about that? âWhatâs it to you?â
âMy bad. We can just walk in awkward silence if you prefer.â
It takes a ridiculous amount of your energy to swallow the laugh that bubbles in your throat. Since when did Heeseung crack jokes? Since when did you have to fight the urge to giggle at them like a schoolgirl with a crush? You suddenly find yourself grateful for the cover of night, the way shadows make the heat on your cheeks undetectable.Â
But his question still lingers. Ruminating on it, your mind flickers to the small, odd book currently sitting at the bottom of your bag.Â
Sacred Monsters.Â
It feels like a strange combination of words, two concepts that shouldnât fit together.Â
âI think itâs more complicated than that,â you breathe. You donât know if it could possibly be true, the idea that creatures of the night have a high level of consciousness, the ability to moralize, to feel conflicted. But it certainly makes for a more interesting story.Â
âI mean, vampires had to have some level of base cognition, right?â Youâll never know for sure, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. âThey were hunted to near extinction, but they put up a good fight. They hid. They fled. They tried blending in as humans. Some resorted to drinking animal blood. I guess thereâs no way of knowing, but that doesnât feel like pure biology or an evolutionary response alone. It feels like⊠something a human would do.â
âWouldnât that be worse?â Heeseungâs voice is low. If the faint hum of faraway traffic were any louder, you might not hear him at all. âFor them to know what it means to be alive and still make the choice to take that away from someone else? To exist as a parasite.â
âIt would certainly be tragic.â The words of the first essay come back to you.Â
For even those blessed with immortality know what it means to survive. And even those cursed to live forever know what it means to die.
âItâs a fatal flaw, a cruel design. They need blood to survive. The very thing that their bodies used to create on their own. Itâs parasitic, yes, but that doesnât make it animal instinct. I canât imagine the horror of having to experience that with the burden of human consciousness.âÂ
You feel the weight of Heeseungâs gaze on the side of your face. âItâs still evil, is it not?â
His words feel heavy, weighted under moonlight. Though you canât imagine why, you have the distinct sense that your answer is important to him.Â
âLike I said, I think itâs more complicated than that. Taking someoneâs life is evil, yes, but that was never unique to vampires. Is a vampire that chooses animal blood still evil just because theyâre a vampire? Is a human that chooses to kill another absolved of their crime just by virtue of being human?â
Your words settle into the space between you.Â
âThat,â Heeseung finally breathes, âwould make a much better story than the one I read last night.â
This time, you do laugh, a light airy thing. It feels easy, lighthearted as some of the tension drains from the atmosphere.
âUnfortunately, Iâm not so sure Professor Kim would agree. Based on everything New Haven publishes, he seems to have some weird anti-vampire vendetta.â
As you round the corner, your apartment comes into view. Nodding toward the staircase that leads to your front door, you tell him, âThis is me, by the way.â
Heeseung glances at the stairs, then back at you. He shoves his hands into his coat pockets. âWhen is your draft due?â
âUgh, donât remind me,â you groan. âWednesday.â
âMm,â he winces, an offer of understanding. âWhat time?â
âIâm supposed to be at New Haven by three, soââ
âWhat?â Heeseung cuts you off, expression suddenly tense, voice suddenly sharp. âYouâre going to the publishing office?â
âYeah.â You nod slowly, unsure why that would possibly warrant such a strong reaction. âIâm dropping off my first draft and getting a tour. The internship starts right when spring semester does, so he told me I could come in person to familiarize myself with the space first.â
âRight.â Heeseung nods. The tension in his jaw doesnât relax.
Itâs all so strange. He always seems to be speaking in riddles, dealing with invisible problems you canât detect.Â
Youâre tired and confused, and the moon that hangs above you doesnât feel like a remedy for either of those things. In fact, it might be making things worse.Â
Because despite the way you feel like youâll never quite understand him, bathed in the shimmering glow of moonlight, Heeseung looksâŠÂ
He looks like all the things youâve been trying to avoid calling him for the duration of the semester. Ethereal. Beautiful. Maybe even kind, at least when he wants to be.Â
After all, youâre standing at the base of your staircase with company, and it wasnât due to any insistence on your end.Â
The silence lingers. A string somewhere is pulled taught.Â
Youâre standing still, and youâre still a little breathless when you tell him, âI should go.â You donât want to. Youâre not sure why.Â
Again, Heeseung only nods.Â
The movement sends shadows dancing over his features. The bridge of his nose. The plane of his cheek. The line of his jaw. Things youâve never let yourself linger on. Things youâre having a hard time looking away from now.Â
 But heâs seen you home safe and sound, and even nights under the stars have their inevitable end.Â
It occurs to you then that you have no idea how he plans to get home, or even how far away he lives.Â
After he walked you home,itâs the least you could do to offer, âDo you live far? I could help you pay for a cab or something ifââ
Heeseung shakes his head. He smiles, but it doesnât quite reach his eyes. âIt wonât take me long. Besides, I like to walk at night.â
âOkay.â It feels strange, trading these bits of kindness. Youâre craving some normalcy, something unwavering. So with a final wave and a small goodnight, you climb the stairs to your door.Â
You couldnât say for sure if his eyes follow you on the way up. You feel the heat of them, the weight of a steady gaze on your spine. But itâs a fickle sensation and youâve been wrong before. And you canât quite bring yourself to turn around and look.Â
The door closes behind you. Surrounded by the stillness of an empty apartment, you release a long held exhale. It drains out of you audibly. You hadnât even realized you were holding your breath.Â
âŠ..
Dawn breaks Wednesday morning and carries with it a certain kind of dread.Â
Despite your efforts, and there have been many, your draft remains far too close to its original state for your satisfaction. No matter how many times you pour over Sacred Monsters, you can never quite seem to find a way to make your submission more interesting while also staying true to New Havenâs general themes.Â
If anything, the book has been a distraction. Long hours that you could have spent editing or revising or rewriting were instead dedicated to detailed web searches with a variety of keywords and spellings that never seemed to bear any fruit.Â
It doesnât matter which search engine you use. It doesnât matter which database you browse. Other than the copy sitting on your desk, Sacred Monsters doesnât seem to exist.Â
But the annoying, wonderful, awful thing about time is that it passes. Time doesnât care that you havenât found it in yourself to produce a draft youâre proud of. Time doesnât relent just because you always feel like itâs slipping through your fingers.Â
And Wednesday morning turns to Wednesday afternoon with the same steady predictability as always.Â
Youâd like to think that you know the area around your university quite well, but New Havenâs main office is in an entirely different part of the city. Youâll have to leave now if you want to catch the bus with a little cushion of time to spare. The last thing you want to do is be late to your first day. Especially since the draft tucked neatly into your bag isnât one you can hand over with confidence.Â
To your relief, the bus is relatively empty. You tuck yourself into a seat and thank your lucky stars that you missed the afternoon rush.Â
Popping your headphones in, youâre searching for something to fill the time. Thereâs the draft sitting in your bag, of course, but the last thing you want to do is spend the next thirty minutes agonizing over it. For now, it will just have to be the mess of mediocrity that it is.Â
Instead, you reach for your phone. Maybe some mindless scrolling will be what you need to put your nerves at ease.Â
But when the app loads, the first post you see doesnât have you giggling or rolling your eyes or scrolling on without a thought at all. Instead, your spine straightens, shoulders suddenly tense.Â
Because the words youâre reading are not something you ever expected to see in your lifetime.Â
Three dead in suspected vampire attack, the latest headline from your local news reporting channel reads.Â
Clicking on the article, the details are hazy, but that does little to lessen the grip of fear that makes a sudden grab at your throat. Fragments of sentences capture your attention as you scan the page.Â
Three bodies found near the riverâŠ
Bite marks on their necksâŠ
No trace of recent animal activity in the areaâŠ
Eyes widening with every new piece of information, fear claws at your throat.Â
Bodies completely drained of blood.
Two hundred years. Two hundred years of the belief that vampires have all but been eradicated. Shattered in one fell swoop.Â
And in your city, of all places. At the river. Somewhere youâve been. Somewhere you wouldnât think twice about going. Itâs not particularly close to your apartment or university, but itâs not exactly far enough away for comfort.
You shudder, suddenly grateful that Heeseung was there to walk you home last night. Not that he would be able to do much if you did stumble across the path of a vampire, butââ
Oh god. Oh god.Â
Heeseung.Â
You have no idea if he made it home safe after parting ways with you and you have no way of checking. He hadnât made any indication as to where he lived before saying goodnight. For all you know, he could have been heading in the direction of the river. He could have been at the river. Right when the attacks occurred.Â
Doubling down on your phone, you scour the article for any information you can find on the victims. Objectively, itâs probably a good thing that theyâre described only vaguely. Probably an intentional choice to protect the privacy of grieving friends and families.Â
But âthree victims, two men and one woman, all in their early twentiesâ does very, very little to assuage your terror. In fact, it only heightens it.Â
Blood pounding in your ears and dread pooling in your stomach, thirty minutes passes in the blink of an eye, you nearly miss your stop. But as you get off of the bus, youâre spiraling. Should you even be here? It feels wrong, leaving such a terrifying loose end untied.Â
But then you think it through a little further. Even if you got back on the bus, rode it all the way to the stop by your apartment, you have no idea where youâd go from there. You may have shared insults and confidence and a moment under the moonlight with Heeseung, but you donât know anything about him. Where he lives, where to reach him, where he could possibly be right now.Â
But Professor Kim might. Youâre sure that student information is strictly confidential, but if you explain the situation to him, he might be understanding, might just be willing to bend the rules a bit for you.Â
So with a heaviness in your heart and fire in your footsteps, you double check the address of New Havenâs office and start walking away from the bus stop. Your surroundings are not a primary area of your focus, but it does strike you as odd how deserted the whole area seems.Â
Other than a few residential looking buildings, the street you walk is mostly empty lots. Abandoned houses. Not the kind of place you would consider ideal for any business.Â
Despite the cold morning sunshine, the afternoon has brought a cover of clouds. Squinting towards the distance, you wonder if you should have brought your umbrella, just in case. It almost looks as if itâs going to rain.Â
When you do finally find the building, you have to stop to double check the address. Not only is there no signage, but New Havenâs supposed headquarters looks just as run down as all of the other buildings in the area.Â
Frowning, you reread your email. The address does match the faded numbers next to the front door, and Professor Kim seems too meticulous to make a mistake like an incorrect address. Then again, he also seems too well off to run his publishing company out of a decrepit building far away from any of the cityâs major business centers.Â
But you wonât bother worrying about it now. Even your dreary first draft feels like an afterthought at this point. Who cares if the buildingâs not what you expected, if the location isnât ideal? Right now, you need to focus on finding Heeseung, on making sure heâs okay.Â
Because the alternativeâŠ
No, you refuse to let yourself spiral there either. But the pressure of grief borrowed from the future is already pressing firmly against the backs of your eyelids, blurring your surroundings.Â
As you approach the front door, you notice a small, faded placard.Â
New Haven. Well, at least that confirms that youâre in the right spot. Even if it is a bit odd that they left off Publishing.Â
Standing at the door, you hesitate. Should you knock? Just walk in? You take a sidelong glance at the window, scanning for any sign of movement. But thereâs nothing there. In fact, it looks as if the lights are off.Â
Dark, quiet, desolate. Strange, yes, but not something youâll waste time ruminating on now.Â
You knock once. Twice. The sound echoes; the only response is the whistling of the wind.
Deep in the pit of your stomach, a sense of unease begins to build. It feels off, like something is wrong. Senses on high alert, you force the feeling aside. You need a way to find Heeseung, to make sure heâs okay. Besides, the lingering unease is probably just the anxiety of not knowing if heâs safe.Â
Steeling your resolve, you reach for the door handle, twisting it tentatively. It opens slowly, the hinges groaning in protest. As if the building itself doesnât want you there. Stepping inside does little to shake the feeling. Dark and devoid of any decoration, the interior is nearly as gloomy as the sunless sky outside.Â
And even the layout of the building is strange. The front door opens to a long, dark hallway with no lights on. Itâs eerily quiet. Too quiet. Too empty. You werenât expecting a welcoming party by any means, but itâs hard to imagine anyone, much less Professor Kim, even being here.Â
âHello?â You call, clutching your bag a little closer to your body, suppressing the shudder that licks at the base of your spine. âProfessor Kim?â You wait a moment, but sustained silence is the only response.Â
Forcing your footsteps forward, you tread tentatively down the hallway. After all, you didnât come this far just to turn around. Especially now that Professor Kim might be your only way of finding Heeseung.Â
Taking slow steps down the dark hallway, you pass two doors, both of them pulled shut. The end of the hall opens into a larger room, still empty of any furnishings. It certainly doesnât look like a publishing house. It doesn't look like much at all. At the very least, thereâs a bit more visibility here, faint traces of faded daylight streaming in through the half drawn blinds on the other side of the room.Â
Turning to your left, you see another door. This one is also pulled shut, but thereâs a name placard on the front. Drawing closer, you read your professorâs name. It still doesn't feel right. Ducking down slightly, you check the gap between the bottom of the door and the hardwood floor for any sign of light, of movement. But itâs just as dark, just as quiet as the rest of the strange building.Â
As you stand back up to your full height, you raise a hand to knock. Just before your knuckles make contact with the door, you see it. An odd array of crimson stains near the handle. Peering closer, your brow furrows in a combination of disgust and confusion.Â
If you didnât know any better, youâd almost think it looked like blood.Â
But that doesnât make any sense. None of this does. You wonât pretend to know Professor Kim, but heâs never shown up to a lecture with so much as a hair out of place. Why on earth would he run his publishing company out of a building thatâs nearly falling apart? Why would there be strange, suspicious looking stains on the door to his office? Why would it be empty at the time he asked you to come present your draft and tour your future internship location?
You have no idea what to do. Opening the door to his office and letting yourself in would feel like an inappropriate invasion of privacy, but youâre at a loss. This entire thing is so strange.Â
Before you can decide how to proceed, you hear something. A faint noise, barely there, but distinct from the wind that still whistles outside. Itâs disjointed, arrhythmic like the sound of hushed voices. Overlapping. Arguing, maybe.Â
Inclining your head, your brow creases further. It sounds like itâs coming from your professorâs office, but how could it be? The noises are too muffled, too distant to be coming from right in front of you.Â
You lean closer. Deciding youâre past the point of maintaining decorum, you press your ear to the door, careful to avoid any of the suspicious looking stains.Â
For a moment, you hear nothing. Half convinced the voices were nothing but a figment of your overactive imagination, you almost pull away.Â
But then you hear them again. Still muffled, still indecipherable, but undoubtedly louder than before. Which means they must be coming from behind the door. The voices pause, suspend you in silence once again.Â
And then you hear another noise, different this time. Less like a voice and more like movement. Scuffling, maybe. Feet dragging against the floor. Itâs punctuated by a strange gurgling noise. Something wet and thick and throaty. The kind of sound that makes you wince in a subconscious reaction.Â
And then a sudden thump has your bones jolting beneath your skin, everything muscle in your body tensing as you suppress an uninvited gasp. Because that didnât sound far away. It was loud, too loud to be anywhere but right on the other side of the door.Â
Mild unease is quick to transform into sheer panic as you stagger backwards on shaky footsteps. You need to leave. You need to leave now.Â
Youâll find another way to get ahold of Heeseung, to make sure heâs okay. And maybe thereâs a rational explanation for all of this. Maybe this is an old New Haven office and Professor Kim forgot to send you the new address. Maybe thereâs an email in your inbox now, and heâs apologizing for the oversight and rescheduling your draft meeting. Maybe heâsâ
The sound of the front door you walked in through minutes ago slamming shut kills the train of thought. This time, you canât bite down the noise that crawls up your throat.Â
Itâs stupid, from a logical perspective. A fatal flaw of human nature that your first instinct is to scream. To alert whatever danger surely lurks nearby of your exact location, the precise depth of your fear.Â
But the terror that leaves your lips is muffled. It comes from behind, the palm that covers your mouth. The outline of a body that presses into your back, forces you into submission with a hand around your wrist. Â
You thrash against the ironclad grip to no avail. Dig your heels into the ground but find little purchase in the hardwood floor as youâre dragged backwards, every nerve in your body singing with terror as youâre forced into a dark room. Even with your elbows flailing and head jerking, the grip on you remains steady, firm.Â
In the end, itâs a bite that frees you. The hand that covers your mouth drops away as soon as you sink your teeth into the flesh of your captorâs fingers. Thereâs a muffled grunt of pain in your ear as you spin on your heel.Â
Again, itâs stupid. You should be running, sprinting in the opposite direction, but everything in you is begging to know. To gain some sense of control over the situation. Eyes still adjusting to the dark and blinded by fear, you turn to findâ
âHeeseung?â Your mind is spinning a million miles a minute. There are too many thoughts, too many emotions to keep up with. Relief. Fear. Confusion.
Relief, because heâs okay and heâs here, butâ
âWhat are you doing?â You have a million questions that demand answers. âWhy are you here? Why did you grab me like thââ
âAre you okay?â Heeseung takes a step closer to you, reaches his hands out as if to grab you again. Thinking better of it, he lets them fall back to his side with a slight shake of his head. Thereâs terror in his eyes too when he clarifies, âYouâre not hurt?â
âNo, IâŠâ What the hell is going on? âIâm fine, butââ
A flash of relief makes itself apparent on Heeseungâs features before theyâre morphing again, regaining all the urgency, the fear that was there before. Heâs serious, gravely so when he tells you, âWe have to get out of here.â
âOkay,â you stumble forward as he reaches for your wrist again, intent on tugging you behind him. âBut I donât understand. Whatâsââ
âIâll explain everything later.â Heâs frantic, you realize. Desperate. And so terribly afraid. Emotions youâve never seen him wear. Not in the cool, calm mask of indifference he had in class. Not in the faint flickers of vulnerability from stolen moments under moonlight. This is different. This is so much worse. âBut we have to go. Now.â
With that much command in his voice, that much fear in his eyes, youâre putty in his hands. But in the end, it makes little difference. The door to the room heâs dragged you into opens with a resounding bang before the two of you can make your escape. The sound is so loud, so frightening that you feel reverberations in your marrow as the door collides with the roomâs interior wall, no doubt leaving a sizable dent.
And standing there, shrouded by the gray tones of sunless winter daylight, your professor blocks the roomâs only exit.Â
Instinctively, you take a step closer to Heeseung. He does the same, pulling you towards him, behind him, until half of your body is covered by his. Peering over his shoulder, the sight that greets you is one that will haunt waking nightmares for a long time to come.Â
Professor Kim, who always prided himself on maintaining a neat, clean appearance couldnât be further from that now. His clothes are ripped, hanging from his body at odd angles, adding an element of disfigured monstrosity to his silhouette.Â
And his eyes. His eyes. Bloodshot and so wide they must hurt, they dart around the room, narrow in on you and Heeseung like he doesnât see humans. Only targets. Enemies. Prey. Mouth open and snarling, you swear you see a glint in his mouth, the shape of a tooth far too long and pointed to belong to any normal person.Â
But even those things you could force yourself to forget.Â
What horrifies you the most is the blood. Even in the shadows, the unnaturally potent shade of crimson is unmistakable. It stains him, covers him, drips from him. Seeps from his clothes and his skin and his mouth.Â
Panic clawing at your throat, you suppress the urge to vomit.Â
âGet behind me,â Heeseung whispers, low. âNow.â
But a split second of averted attention is all your professor needs. Professor Kim, lover of literature, beacon of taste, a role model youâve looked up to since the first time you stepped foot in his class a handful of months ago, pinches a tiny object between his long, bony, blood-covered fingers. And then he throws it.Â
With startling precision, it whistles through the air, races through a hazy cloud of confusion and panic before it strikes its target true.Â
It doesnât hurt, not really. The hand that flies to the side of your neck is instinct, more than anything. But the fingers that linger on your pulse point donât find the smooth expanse of your unblemished throat that they usually would.Â
Because thereâs something there now. An object lodged just beneath your jaw. Delicately, you draw your hand back in front of your face. Thereâs no blood on your fingers, but that doesnât stop them from shaking.Â
As you look over Heeseungâs shoulder, the world starts to blur around the edges. Darken, as if your eyes are closing of their own volition, against your will. You see him retreat, the terrible ghost of your professor. In the dark, he looks almost forlorn. Regretful.Â
âFuck,â Heeseung whispers. He doesnât see the way your professor spins on his heel, runs in the opposite direction. His attention is trained fully on the space beneath your jaw. âFuck.â
âHeeseung?â Your voice sounds strange to your own ears. Distant, muffled as if youâre submerged beneath water. You have so many questions.Â
But itâs suddenly so cold. And youâre so tired. Wouldnât it be nice to just lay down? Rest for a moment? Surely that couldnât hurt anything.Â
Your legs are wobbly beneath you, and you would collapse to the floor in an ungraceful heap if it werenât for the two hands on your waist, supporting your weight.Â
âIâm here,â he tells you. Cold. When did it get so cold? Your eyes try to focus on Heeseung, but your vision is swimming. You wonder if he would be warm. âIâm right here. Just⊠fuck.â
Gently, he eases you both to the ground. The floor is hard beneath you, but it feels like a reprieve. Youâre tired of holding the weight of your body upright. Your blinking is becoming slow, lethargic. Your head is suddenly far too heavy for your neck.Â
Slowly, Heeseung removes his hands from your waist, relocates them to either side of your jaw. With the care of someone well versed in patience, he delicately maneuvers your head to the side, exposing the length of your neck.Â
Whatever he finds there must be displeasing. You canât imagine why. You canât think much of anything. The world has taken on a sort of dreamlike quality in which everything feels loose, fluid and unburdened by the laws of any physics.Â
âFuck,â he whispers for the fourth time. The curse scatters over your cheekbone like a kiss.Â
Pulling back slightly, he meets your half-closed eyes. âIâm sorry.â It sounds like a prayer. âThis mightâŠâ he swallows, something in his resolve wavering. âThis might hurt.â
Pain. You can barely conceptualize the sensation. It feels like a distant memory.Â
And then heâs tilting your head to the side again. His face draws closer, overcomes the last of your remaining senses, demands the full attention of whatâs left of your consciousness.Â
You think he might kiss you. Whatever desire remains in you almost wishes he would.Â
Your eyes flutter shut, lips parting slightly as your eyelashes fan against the tops of your cheeks.Â
But his mouth never finds yours. Instead, you feel the soft caress of his lips against the side of your neck, a fleeting touch against the sensitive skin just beneath your jaw. Inhibitions whittled to nothing, you shudder against the sensation, release the airy ghost of a sigh.
He was wrong, you think. With his mouth on your neck, pain is the last thing you feel.Â
You feel his lips part against your skin, chasing away some of the cold that has only seeped deeper into bones, into the very essence of your being.Â
And then you feel it. Whatever capacity for sensation that remains all focuses on the sudden flash of agony as his teeth pierce the skin of your throat.Â
The tiny moan that escapes your lips is pitiful. Your ability to think, to rationalize, feels like something thatâs dangling in front of you, just out of reach. Your body is too heavy, too weak to respond to the flash of searing pain as your skin is pierced deeper.Â
He canât speak, but you feel the shallow vibration of a hum against your neck. Soothing, calming. His hand that doesnât bear the weight of your head moves to push a stray strand of hair from your forehead. Itâs gentle, reverent. In complete opposition to the war he wages against your neck.Â
Mouth still full of you, a groan escapes him. Itâs heady, throaty, and you feel it travel the length of your spine, settle in the pit of your stomach. Sensation is the only thing tethering you to this world, and you canât quite tell if this is pleasure or pain.Â
He pulls back, the absence of his steady heat leaving your jaw vulnerable to the chill in the air.Â
âHold on,â you hear. You canât pinpoint where the noise comes from. Sound surrounds you, washes over you in a strange uniformity. You feel the ground fall away, something warm and solid behind your shoulders and under your knees.âWeâll be there soon.â
Floating, you think. You must be floating. Itâs hard to tell. Moments are bleeding into one another too quickly for you to keep up.Â
Eyes closed, body molten, you relax into the steady grip that carries you.Â
And the last thing you hear before reality loses its hold is the fervent, whispered sound of your name.Â
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
CONTINUED IN PART 2 (which can be found on my masterlist!)
â.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ëâ.Ë⥠àŁȘ Ë
note: THANK YOUUUUU for reading!!! this is pretty different from what I usually write plot wise, so I hope it made for a good read. vampire heeseung and this oc are near and dear to me, and I'm excited to continue their story. the rest of this fic is fully plotted and partially written. I'm actively continuing to work on it, and hearing your thoughts/theories/screaming/feedback/etc. is great motivation! as always, I love know what you're thinking. âĄ
#heeseung fanfiction#heeseung x reader#heeseung fanfic#enhypen fanfic#enhypen x reader#heeseung x you#enhypen x you#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#heeseung scenarios#heeseung imagines
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