#but not everybody got to have that experience so sometimes i see artists who are pretty advanced in other areas

[sailing-ever-west]

it occurs to me that not everybody studied art books religiously as a kid like I did and weren't always taught super useful basic stuff

so random psa for any beginner artists trying to figure out proportions: the eyes go in the middle of the head

This doesn't have to be exact of course and there's always room for stylization but basically the whole area above the eyes is supposed to leave room for the hair, bc it doesn't just sit flat on top of the head separately. If the eyes are below center, the nose and mouth usually end up too small and the forehead is huge. If they're above center, it makes the person's face look unrealistically long and makes it seem like their skull ends at their hairline. Anyway, that's mainly what the cross lines are for on the face, to properly center the eyes. It makes everything else fall into proportion way more easily.

[femsolid]

“We’re in 2019. Female hair is CENSORED everywhere. You don’t see it on TV. You don’t see it in magazines or adverts. There is an injunction of society for women to remain 'soft' and completely hairless. Just like a little girl. I don’t believe that’s a coincidence. Young, skinny, hairless girls have been very popular in the media for years and it makes me wonder. Who's behind it all? Who's perpetuating this message about women looking like adolescent girls? It sometimes feels rather paedophilic. It worries me.” – Camille Alexander. Musician (2019)

“Years ago I did think about getting laser hair removal for my navel hair, but then I realised I'd be paying a couple of hundred pounds just to conform to expectations that I don't even care about– I'd much rather use the money for a holiday or circus lessons! I think that's one of the things which annoys me so much about society and the media's expectation for women to be basically hairless– they're pressuring us to invest serious time and money and endure pain. It's a double standard and it's unfair. Being able to accept your body– hair, scars and all– is freeing. I remember seeing my Aunt Glynis dancing to reggae in the 90s with her armpit hair showing– she looked so confident, happy and free. As a child, I couldn't put my finger on 'why', but I can now. On a practical level, it feels pretty darn good when I consider how much time, money and pain I've saved by accepting my body as it is. I like to think that that memory of my aunt being free and totally comfortable in her own skin is one that I can emulate and pass onto other girls and women. It hasn't always been received well though. At Lambeth County Fair one year, a friend of a friend was seriously freaked out when he saw my armpits. He asked me "what's wrong with you? Why would you do that?!", which was pretty amusing but bewildering. It reminded me there will always be people out there who may react and judge me like that. Thankfully, the opinion of people who think like that means very little to me! For me having hair and not caring is a bit like being part of a secret club. When you notice someone else who is resisting society's expectations and staying hairy you feel solidarity and respect. It's nice to be part of that.” – Isabel (2019)

“As a teenager, I remember trying to stuff myself into a box of what a girl should be like. It always felt uncomfortable; padded bras, shoes that hurt and shaving rash. Running, swimming and climbing have helped me to see the strength and resilience in my body and to love it for what it is. Growing my armpit hair has been a recent experiment and the longer it gets, the more I like it! I like the way it looks & feels. It has given me a new respect for myself. So I say, embrace growth & if it pleases you, let it all grow!” – Jess (2018)

“Shaving, epilating or waxing hurts. I was tired of suffering, trying to adapt to the image of a ‘beautiful young woman’ society is selling us. Everybody told me to shave. As a teenager, it’s a huge subject among girls; where do you shave? What method are you using? It takes so much time and costs so much money (the majority of hair removal products are also not recyclable). All of these reasons coming one after another motivated me to stop shaving. I would often have irritated skin after shaving and being a very sporty person, the sweat and the friction of my clothes would cause pain.The worst thing was having sex on the second day after shaving my vulva. I didn't understand why women would suffer and waste so much time on hiding who they really are. By showing my body hair on stage, I would like to stimulate and change people’s point of view. I’d like to motivate women to make their own choices.”

– Darian Koszinski. Circus artist (2018)

“I stopped shaving completely when I was a teenager because of two instances. The first? I got tired of all the time wasted on maintenance and the discomfort that came with it. The second was when I went on a few multiple week-long backpacking trips; it would have been extremely inconvenient to spend hours ripping my hair out, so I let things grow. Being so close to nature let me dive deeper into and re-examine the relationship with myself and the world, acting as a mirror. In nature, there is wild; it is as beautiful as it is untamed. How could it be anything other than that? I felt so relieved and free when I let it grow out. It felt like being able to breathe. It was incredibly comfortable too. I felt a confidence and boldness returning, like I was replenishing some kind of primal power. I will say that a very pleasant side effect of having armpit hair is its ability to ward off rude people whom I wouldn’t care to interact or associate with anyway. Because the people that care about that sort of thing and make it a point to say how disgusted they are, are precisely the kind of people that I don’t want in my life.”

– Kyotocat (2017)

“At this point in life, I feel that the real question shouldn't be 'why did you let your armpit hair grow?' But actually, 'why did you shave in the first place?' Please celebrate your body! Own who you are and be that! Those who celebrate who and what they are, are creating a much open and safer space for those who are struggling to understand who and what they want to be in life. It might be easier said than done but give it a try. We'll then help create a healthier and understanding society with less bullshit than there already is...”

– Alex Wellburn (2017)

“I never stopped shaving because I never started. I do remember my mother shaving when I was younger and I thought that was pretty unnecessary since she was a strict muslim. I later realised it's a thing women do to look more desirable to men. It really irritated me that the people who reacted negatively to my natural armpit hair were men. Like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. It really gets on my tits. This is just one more reason that I don't shave it off. It belongs to me and I don't make noise about the "ugly"; hair on men which are sometimes pretty painful in the eye... But you've got to get over it and don't let these idiots get under it. I would recommend growing it to any women.”

– Ayan Mohamed. Graduate architecture student (2014)

Natural Beauty Photoshoot

[majorbaby]

it takes a conscious effort to break your patterns of consumption and unlearn the notion beauty, interiority, diverse ways of existence aren't exclusive to whiteness or maleness. part of that isn't your fault. certain music is played on the radio, certain shows survive cancellation no matter what, certain people seem to be able to commit the worst possible acts against other human beings and are excused on account of their creative genius. others are selectively punished, with good reason sure, but still, selectively.

now more than ever it's easier to immerse yourself in art made by people outside of the mainstream. reading lists, free resources, playlists... all this stuff is more accessible than ever, but you've got to make an effort to give it a try. it's black history month, the recs are pouring in, go have a look. or take a chance on something absolutely no one has recommended anywhere and if you find something you like, rec it to someone else because the likelihood is they haven't heard of it.

tracy chapman's "fast car" is one of eleven songs that appears on her self-titled debut album. can you name the second hit single from it? if you're american and you fell anywhere left of center as of the 2016 election, it should be on the tip of your tongue if you were engaged in your country's politics at the time, regardless of your level of actual investment in the system. if not, the next time you're doing a task you need both hands with, washing the dishes, having dinner, doing your makeup, put that album on.

there's a post with over 100K notes on here that i see all the time of bruce springsteen and clarence clemons kissing. there's a part of that that is immediately meaningful to many if you're lgbtq, and a part that is harder for non-black lgbtq people to feel the weight of. but it is worth trying to do and was part of the reason why they kissed so often in the first place. clarence clemons was from norfolk, virginia. he released multiple albums outside of his work with the e street band. they may not be for you, but give them a try.

give enough music, or movies, or books that aren't a part of the approved canon a try, and there's no way you won't find something you don't feel as passionate about as you do about springsteen, siken, the beatles, what have you.

james baldwin was a prolific artist. see if you can't find something of his you like more than giovanni's room.

immerse yourself in ringo sheena, who mitski cites as one of her influences.

if you have difficulty paying attention to music you don't recognize, (i get it) make a playlist that alternates tracks you know and love with brand new tracks. start small. 5 faves of all time, 5 you're going to try out. you won't like everything, but you might find yourself looking forward to 6 songs instead of 5 eventually.

for movies, pick an actor whose performance you loved in something and explore their work. last year i picked whoopi goldberg, also a prolific artist, with a vast body of work that's pretty accessible as a result of her constant, intentional effort.

if you're an artist yourself, you can only stand to improve by getting to know your fellow artists better. so expand your notion of what art is. you can do it for free in lots of cases, and you're spending that time listening to music or reading or watching movies or series anyway, what have you got to lose?

anti-racism sometimes means engaging in real-world narratives of pain endured by brown and black people. that pain permeates much of our art, but we're just as three-dimensional as everybody else, and every aspect of our experiences come through in our work. you know that already, because what else is happening when you indulge in various genres. for everything you love or enjoy, there's a brown or black person who's doing something along those lines, in many cases, those genres wouldn't exist in their current form without the influence of our communities, some more than others, depending on where you're from. you can actually keep one foot inside your comfort zone and dip your toe into something else. that choice is both a joy and a luxury.

[cloudypidge]

Keep Your Mask On - I can see through it

they/them!MC x Leander

Warnings: Rated T. Mild mind-games. Maybe fluffy??? It's Leander so it could be worse. Word Count: 3.5k Word Density: mc, leander, hand, down, eyes, waiting.

What if a shy and somewhat manipulative MC beat Leander at his own game? Everybody is a winner.

It had already been a few weeks since Leander first held MC's cursed hands in his own. It was actually the first time anyone held MC's hands without immediately try to kill them.

Despite the initial shock of the experience, MC was slowly growing accustomed it. At the end of most days, the two of them would sit and chat in one of the booths at the Wet Wick, hands linked for few precious minutes.

MC had gotten into the habit of waiting around for him if they returned home before he did. "Home" being the same room Leander had gifted them the key to. They found a couple of interesting things in the bedside drawers, confirming some of the public rumors of his private escapades. Aside from the ones he freely admitted to of his own volition.

So there they were, again, waiting for their personal playboy as dusk crept up on the dingy street. They had begun helping out the bartender with small tasks instead of simply taking up space whilst waiting. This awarded the bartender a much appreciated opportunity to step away and deal with other things that kept her business in working order. It never hurt to be on good terms with your landlord. Even if you do live in a dive-bar.

The bar itself, counter and stools, served as a barrier between them and the many strangers who passed through the front door each night. People almost always traveled in groups after nightfall, and those groups very quickly added up into sizeable crowds that MC found overwhelming.

Sometimes a curious single from said crowds would venture up to MC and try their luck, only to consistently be turned down. Aside from the obvious issue of their hands, the casual advancements only reminded them more and more of what they were really craving, and of who they were waiting for.

In spite of his frequent innuendos and constant flirting, Leander's perpetual bashfulness remained one of their favorite cracks in his mask. MC was a glutton for the butterflies it gave them.

The night was slow, or about as slow as it ever got around there. Currently there were no brawls, which was always a boon.

MC helped themself to sampling some of the more exclusive spirits and enjoyed the warm buzz it created. They listened to nothing in particular as they focused only on slowly drying off the freshly washed wine glasses. The drowning chatter of the greater room faded out to an incomprehensible white noise.

The bar maids were responsible for serving the customers, so MC was safe to hide behind the counter and look unapproachable, a convenience for collecting their thoughts.

They thought mostly about Leander and the obvious masks he wore every day. They used to wonder where the mask began and his authenticity ended. It didn't take long for MC to figure out that he was indeed a performance artist, and the performances were part of the package deal. Not unlike the bright markings on a venomous animal.

MC also wasn't oblivious to the suspicious second life he led with the Blood Hounds. He had several roles to fill, and in order to balance it all without revealing his full hand, he donned those masks to survive. A quote came to mind. Something about "Nothing personal, it's just business."

MC understood the mentality but they wanted be part of his personal motives, not just business. As sure as fondness was growing between them, MC would have been a complete fool to expect him to actually lower his guard for simply nothing in exchange. Crossing his boundaries by simply expecting special treatment was not an option. They were going to meet him halfway, but that couldn't happen if neither of them stepped forward.

The next inevitable step in their relationship was gnawing on MC's mind. The cause of their hesitations, the whole reason they were over-thinking where they stood with him. It was something he'd humorously offered several times, and they absolutely did want to take him up on it, but the right conversation needed to happen first.

They felt his presence before his fingertips made contact with their shoulder. It didn't startle them, but it did manage to shake them out of their thoughts.

"Hello, Eridia to (MC)? Anyone home?" Leander called out to them. He must have been trying to get their attention while they were ignoring the noise of the livening building.

He was completely leaned over the top of the bar, arms reached out across the distance, knees balanced on the bar stools. He looked ridiculous. Whatever Blood Hounds had come in with him were already dispersed to their tables and corners of interest, likely somewhat embarrassed by their leader's unprofessional display. MC wouldn't be surprised if Leander had made a beeline for the bar as soon as he spotted them. Again.

His appearance indicated that he had been dragged around the city all day, no doubt wrapped up in his odd jobs and strange connections. There was a very fine layer of dust on his clothes, dulling the shine of his leathers. He looked like he needed a stiff a drink. He began making his way around the bar to help himself.

"Sorry. I was spacing out." MC finally replied.

Leander paused for a moment, looking them up and down, then at the random assortment of mostly full bottles and used shot glasses still sitting out.

"You started without me?" He smirked but his eyes barely made any effort to meet his lips halfway. MC cleared their throat. It used to unnerve them, initially thinking it was an insincere expression at worst, or devastating fatigue at best, but they had spent enough time with him now to recognize a curse when they saw one.

Something about Leander's magic was probably killing him in a way that MC did not yet fully understand. Many signs had been pointing to this conclusion since the very first day they met him.

There was something inside of Leander that was slowly poisoning him, like a silent gas leak in an empty house. It was another reason he wore those metaphorical masks, to cover whatever was slowly rotting his soul away. As much as MC was morbidly curious, the answers to those specific questions could wait. It wasn't worth lighting a match over. Yet.

"Having fun?" He slid past them, using his hand to briefly maneuver their waist out of his way. The touch returned their attention to the moment.

"Mhm, just keeping busy," MC murmured. The glass they were holding was polished perfectly. They wobbled a little, crossing the short aisle and reached up on their toes to slide it into the correct shelf along the wall.

"You know, you don't have to do all of that." Leander said, side-eying their flawed coordination. He'd finished procuring his own drink and flashed his signature smile, instantly filling the closed space with warmth.

MC shuffled back to their spot, leaning heavily against the edge of the sink and selected the next wet glass to work on.

"You really helped yourself to the inventory this time, didn't you?" He chuckled but MC didn't miss the inflection in his tone. Something of a friendly warning.

"Only a few samples. With permission of course," they smiled back at him and waited for his reaction from under their eyelashes.

Instead, he sipped his drink slowly, gazing out at the commotions behind MC. They watched the dark liquid slip past his lips, disappearing into his perfect mouth. MC moved forward to put the next glass away, but was distracted by a stray droplet that was sliding down his chin. They nearly missed their step and began veering to the side.

Leander deftly hooked his arm forward and caught them, allowing MC to recenter their balance. He retracted his arm and bemusedly allowed them to continue on their way, wiping the droplet away with his knuckles.

They completed the task again, and then again. Each time they turned away from the wall of glasses and bottles, they caught Leander moving his eyes away from their direction. He was definitely watching when they stretched up to reach the shelves. MC raised him an inquisitive eyebrow, which earned them a friendly wink. They rolled their eyes, but that restless thought was growing louder.

"I think it's safe to assume you've been down here for a while." He gestured to their sampling. "Hopefully I didn't keep you waiting too long." MC felt their cheeks become a bit warmer and hoped that the blush blended inconspicuously with the one they already had from their buzz.

"Not at all. In fact, I really don't mind helping the bartender while I'm down here."

"Ah, that's very noble of you, but…" he leaned back against the counter directly across from MC, now partially blocking the cabinet. "You don't owe her anything, right?"

MC internally rolled their eyes. They knew exactly where that lecture was going. The Cost of Things in Eridia. Perhaps this was his way of reminding them of their own unspecified outstanding-balance.

That inevitable step forward was about to be taken, but MC wanted to be the first to move. There was something they wanted from him, but they need to ensure that is did not come with a price tag.

"Not exactly, but since we're on the topic, I have found myself indebted to a... friend." They smirked at down at the slow and methodical circles of the rag as they dried the last wine glass, circumventing his prepared lecture.

"Oh?" he sounded genuinely curious, eyes drawn to the gentle movements of their bandaged hands. He watched they way they delicately held the stem of the glass, turning it over in the light, looking for imperfections.

"Promise not to tell anyone but…" They approached the cabinet. He barely stepped aside for them to set it into place. "It's a guy. He's been so helpful and kind to me, but he hasn't asked for much in return," they spoke slowly, waiting for Leander's jealously to take the bait.

"So I've been thinking about how nothing in this life is free, you know? Eventually, I am going to have to pay him back. Even you tell me that nothing is free in Eridia." They pointed out.

Leander wasn't smiling anymore. He leaned forward to hear them better through the noise of the establishment. MC set their rag down and turned to face him, resting their hip against the counter, and regarded him as he became quite serious.

"…you haven't made some kind of deal with this guy yet, have you?" His brow creased ever so slightly. "If you need help, you know I'm here for you, right?" His free hand came to rest at their hip, anxiously ensuring that they remain facing him.

Whether he realized it or not, his possessive nature had recently developed into a obvious display of envy for their attention. Last week Vere had pointed this out to MC, inclusive of a short but obvious warning.

MC was very aware of Leander's jealousy. That was not the problem here. The problem was their own recently budding envy whenever he stepped out for a quick hook-up, leaving them behind.

Waiting for him.

Ais was seemingly the only regular who took notice fofthis more recent development. His advice was… well it less eloquent than Vere's, but he was right nonetheless. MC needed to do something about it already.

They took the first metaphorical step forward.

"Oh no, don't worry. It's not a situation that I can't handle," they reassured him. "But I'm not so naive as to think that he truly has no ulterior reason to share his resources or time with me." MC placed their hand over the one he still had on their hip, and smiled up at him before letting it go. "I also know that we both have our own sort of needs, so to speak. I'm very eager to tell him all of my thoughts on the matter."

His expression flinched and he cocked his head to the side, finally starting to catching on to who this "friend" might be.

"Oh?" the sound came out a lot lower than he probably meant it to. As if to compensate, his hand relaxed from their side, placing it on the counter beside them. He set his drink down and gave them his full attention, deciding to play along with their bashful elusion.

"What exactly is it that you want him to know?"

"Well, with friends, these kind of things are usually as simple as give and take. With strangers, though? Debts are just transactions waiting to be completed. He's not a stranger, and I don't want him to be," they punctuated that last sentence by playfully turning their head the opposite way of his. Challenging him. "So what I'm trying to figure out, is exactly how I can adequately return the favors, as a friend."

MC gazed up into Leander's calm face as they both took the moment to observe each other's body language. His eyes squinted, studying them, savoring the words, collecting his thoughts.

"…and you're going to pay him back...by running up a tab in his name?" A smirk finally broke free from beneath the mask, clearly amused.

MC laughed and waved their hand in the air to dispel the concern.

"I promise there's no tab, I really did get permission from the bartender-" Leander gingerly grabbed their wrapped up hand mid-air.

"Did you have something specific in mind for evening the odds with this friend?" He Interrupted their rambling. He'd been waiting for this very conversation about debts and repayments, and needed them to stay focused. What he didn't understand, though, was this new commentary on friendship, and why they were beating around the bush about it?

He intertwined his fingers with their own, hoping to ease some of their nervousness. Generally, he really did try to make an effort to not to scare them off. A hearty blush bloomed across MC's cheeks, much to Leander's pleasure.

"Well?" He gently urged. MC thought carefully about their next move, not wanting to waste their precious moment of leverage.

"Well. I guess it depends," MC drawled out, slowly reaching for the drink Leander had abandoned. It was right next to them on the counter, so they made sure to brush their arm against him as they reached for it, and then again as they brought the drink it in. They felt the toned muscles in his arm and torso stiffen at the contact. His icy eyes shot up to theirs, questioning the less-than-subtle touches.

"Depends… on what?" He cautioned.

MC brought his glass up to their face, but instead of taking a sip they parted their lips and just barely exposed their soft tongue to kiss at the condensation from the side of the glass he'd sipped from. They felt the moisture wet their lips as the missed dots slid down the glass, catching on their clothed fingers. It had hints of the same berry concoction he first served them weeks ago. They held his icy gaze as his unrestrained hand gripped the counter at the side of their waist, fingernails digging into the wood. His intertwined hand shook a little in their own.

They literally had him in the palms of their hands.

All the light bulbs suddenly went off over Leander's head, and he was not prepared for the sudden, blinding illumination. They had completely caught him off-guard for once. He almost resented the pride welling up in him. His eyes were wide, he held his breath and waited for their next move.

"I guess it depends on what I have to offer. If I'm being realistic, it will probably be some random errands around town." They shrugged, instantly changing their tone and posture to something far more casual, despite being boxed in very close to Leander's warm body. Their demeanor changed as though he wasn't even there. "Maybe delivering a few messages or something equally as boring. I most certainly wouldn't want to wager anything that I couldn't take back as simply transactional." They gave his nervous hand a firm squeeze.

MC watched as his face shifted from confusion, then to shock, and finally settled on disappointment. He looked down at the floor, hummed in admission, and begrudgingly let go of their hand.

"That is understandable," he acknowledged. "You friend would do right to respect you for that decision."

"Mhm, and I feel lucky because I know that he will." They smiled to him, and he returned it with a polite, but sad one.

Was MC always capable of being that cruel? Couldn't they have simply turned him down outright? Why even bother ruffling his feathers like that...?

"So, you want to run errands for him?" He tried to shove the disappointment and confusion down. He would just have to respect their wishes.

"Sure, I don't mind repaying his favors in that way. As long as he understands that the sex is strictly for fun."

Leander choked hard when his breath caught in his throat.

Pleased at his shocked reaction, MC closed their eyes and tasted the actual drink this time. It was indeed exactly the same kind he had once served them all those nights ago.

"Mm, there's nothing quite like the sweetness after the burn," they murmured, licking the residue from their teeth.

When they opened their eyes again, Leander was standing straight and rigid. He was stunned! The nerve of them!!

He wrenched the drink from their grasp and raised it up, tossing the entire thing back in one smooth movement. His slow, steady gulps were expertly practiced from years of living his reckless lifestyle.

MC silently prayed that he wasn't angry, and that they had played their cards just right, dealing him a satisfactory taste of his own lascivious medicine.

Leander sighed after reaching the bottom of the glass.

So that's their play, he thought to himself. He could work with this.

"Is that all?" He grinned like a fox as he set the empty container down, recovering from his surprise. Thank the gods he wasn't put off, but now MC worried for what his response was going be.

"So, you want to keep your work separate from your fun, as a friend?" He summarized.

"Only if he's interested." They felt bold enough to readjust their footing to square him up. His chest completely obscured their vision of the open room that lay out behind him. All they could see now was him, and they were grateful that his broad body obscured their own from potential onlookers at this angle.

On his face, he wore what was quite possibly the cockiest grin they had ever seen. MC couldn't help but shiver under the intensity of his piercing gaze. His eyes sparkled an incandescent green, the only indication that he was preparing himself for extended contact with their curse.

Everything that happened next went much faster than they could have expected it to.

His arm snaked around their lower back, slowly pressing a large hand into the base of their spine. This caused them to slightly arch forward, eliciting a small gasp. He bowed deep, bringing his face almost cheek to cheek beside theirs to murmur into their ear, in a voice low enough that not even Vere's monster ears could have picked up the sound. There was barely a breath of space left between them.

"I think he's very interested." He all but purred, with an uncharacteristically low rumbling that spilled forth from deep within his chest. MC sucked in a sharp breath on reflex and braced their hands against his chest. They squeezed their eyes shut as a dizzying wave of flutters nearly swept them away. He chuckled at their adorable reaction.

They stood like that for a moment. MC felt the chills that ran down their spine melt into a new heat, pooling beneath Leander's hand that was laying flush against their sensitive muscles. MC suddenly realized that he likely had tricks up his sleeve they didn't even know existed.

He took the last half-step forward, and MC instinctively moved backwards, unintentionally pressing their rear into the counter to make space that didn't exist. They accidentally trapped his hand in place by doing so.

The sandwiched position left only a small opening for their face to rest in the crook of his neck. They completely melted into his frame as his grip on the small of their back deepened. He hummed in approval of their nuzzling.

MC would have been embarrassed to death about the public display of lust if they were even capable of producing a single coherent thought in that moment. They were too overwhelmed with reveling in their own self-satisfaction to notice that Leander's other hand was reaching for the other key on his belt.

"What do you say to that?" He purred, the vibrations passing through his body and into MC's, rattling them to the core.

Their breath was hot and sweet, fanning across his neck and mixing with the scent of his body. It was syrupy but sharp, just like his drink. Just like him.

"I hope you don't keep me waiting too long." They whispered.

[starflungwaddledee]

Hey got a question, is it normal for your heartbeat to beat rapidly wherever you look at really tense or angsty scenes?

It's Just a question I had in mind

putting these together because they're clearly related. i admit these have me a little bit stumped, but i'll take this in good faith and do my best! under the cut because of length.

topics include: physiological reactions to fiction, emotional reactions/empathy of creators, and finally addressing the unspoken question present in asks like this.

"is it normal to have a physiological reaction (heart beat, jitters, excitement, sadness, etc) to fiction"

absolutely! i cannot overstate how common it is to have reactions of any wide variety to fiction. the whole point of storytelling is to make you feel things! the reactions you have, their intensity, and the specific media or genre you'll have those reactions to will vary person to person. in regards to angst in particular, like i've said on this topic before: reactions will vary. some people might get excited, others might get sad, others might feel it like a gut punch but in a really good and cathartic way. none of these are better or worse or more normal or more abnormal than the other.

"do i as a creator have an emotional reaction to the work i'm creating?"

i personally do, sure. i was actually quite explicit in the tags of the comic that came right before this ask that i found it hard to draw, because seeing kirby so sad was emotionally pulverising to me. do all creators? no. do i feel a strong emotional reaction to all scenes? no. or all types of content creation? no. for me, prose is actually much easier to tackle than illustration; i can write trauma and suffering and psychological devastation until the cows come home, but drawing it is a different matter. consuming the work of others is different again. and this is different for everybody. am i somehow morally better or more empathetic than an artist that doesn't struggle to draw characters sad? hell no! being able to represent- in fiction- a strong emotion generally requires that you empathise with or at least understand that emotion. sometimes creators actually have to be able to turn this off to be able to create the content we make; the way we turn off strict adherence to reality in order to write fantasy. if we couldn't do this, content across the board- art, movies, novels- would be flattened to nothing but the cheeriest and most mediocre parts of our day to day lives. no fun monsters (because those aren't real). no challenges to rise above (because those make us sad). no characters who have different experiences to us (because how could we imagine or feel for that). and it would be okay for like... twenty minutes of all books containing 'the sun was shining and i woke up on time and had a yummy breakfast', but then it would suck, sorry. conflict and imagination are the root of content.

"it's just a question I had in mind".

a way to think about this might be; would you ask these questions about genres that aren't angst? would you ask "is it normal to be happy when these characters finally reunite" or "is it normal to feel resolution in response to a happy ending" or "is it normal to feel excitement when a character has their cool hero moment". perhaps it's because your reaction to angst is something you construe as negative, but if you wouldn't doubt your reactions to cheerful content, then there's no reason to doubt the reactions you have to angst either; these are just reactions! fiction is designed to make us feel things, but what you feel will be up to you. no one feeling or response is better or worse than any others.

lastly, i feel like there is an unspoken question here that i don't like.

and maybe you didn't intend it. i'm going to extend that grace to you, and because you seem to need reassurance about this (though i will not be reassuring about this further. i do not like reassurance seeking from strangers and this is a boundary i am setting right now), this is not an attack or even a criticism. your questions are fine if they are coming from a place of curiosity and- i simply assume- that these are new or difficult concepts to you that you have yet to have explored or explained.

but on the good faith assumption you didn't intend it, and wouldn't want to do this again (especially if you message other creators), i think you should be aware.

because it sounds like this: "do the people who make sad/angsty/dark content care at all or are you heartless to the suffering (of these characters). is angst/dark content made by bad people?" i felt it the previous time i got a question like this too when it explicitly stated "you seem like a nice person", as if being a nice person was in contrast with what i was creating.

please. we are just people. the relative light or darkness of the content you make says absolutely nothing about your morals, your real life attitudes, or your ability to be an empath.

someone making cute animal art could be a school yard bully. someone writing a complex sci-fi warhorror fic could be the most altruistic and compassionate soul in the world.

in my experience, creators are some of the most empathetic people i have ever met, and many of them know their craft intimately. these are people capable of stepping into the shoes of others as easily as breathing. of sitting down at their work station every day and finding inside themselves a way to answer "how would this really feel?" so clearly and honestly that they can put it onto the paper for you to feel it too.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm so full. I'm so happy. This is everything that I wanted for the tannies. It's so amazing. Never mind its 144p and I'm still learning the lyrics. I had such a blast! Jimin was so cute. Yoongi was so funny and cute and sexy and awesome and just,,, just,,, JUST!!! Couldn't stop grinning while watching their wlive and burst out laughing as Yoongi ended it so abruptly. lol Love you, Yoongi. Love them. Who's doing it like them? Have you seen the Tiffany crowd? Have you seen the concert crowd?!!?

***

It’s a different sort of high being a fan of BTS, isn’t it?

It’s a different sort of joy seeing them be their remarkable, awe-inspiring and goofy selves. It’s so beautiful to see the love they so clearly have for each other. It feels a little too intimate sometimes, and in my experience, this is a feeling that’s unique to BTS. This group is very special. What they’ve got feels genuine because it is.

Jimin was vibing hard. Yoongi’s performance felt electric from start to finish. They spent time together, [*]riding to the venue and leaving afterwards. Its clear as day that Yoongi is happy Jimin is with him, and Jimin wears the respect and love for his hyung on his face. It’s just so easy with them.

And can I just mention Yoongi’s energy during tonight’s concert?

The way he attacked HUH?!

AGUST D???

Christ.

It’s like he gets stronger, wilder, every concert… lol, like I suspected, he’s already a bit too good at this. I’m gonna need him to calm down before the Cali dates. And now that we know we’re getting Tony Montana at a future date, I think we’re all going to really learn to pace ourselves. This could get crazy before long.

Because we’re only three days in and I’m already hanging on by a thread.

What he’s doing to me with these performances cannot be written on the internet.

He fucks me up so bad y’all.

Let me go on a short tangent here:

STD is an acronym that’s known in Korea to mean what you think it means. Everybody knows it. Language isn’t a barrier in this case. When people in Korea hear “STD”? They know what it’s referring to.

Now, what do you think about the way Yoongi introduced his alternate persona: AGUST D in 2016? The way he enunciates that phrase is sickening and intentional. The very mention of his name in the mouths of his detractors is a sickness they get from him fucking them. Or ‘fat dicking’ them, to quote Yoongi. And on that song he spits one of the sickest bars of his entire career. You’re guaranteed to be fucked just by hearing it. I mean just in his name there’s already triple entendres.

It’s mad.

Yoongi has a very peculiar energy. It’s very catlike, but also serpentine and there’s an undercurrent of barely restrained lunacy deep beneath the surface. Hobi is actually more crude than Yoongi in speech and flow, but Yoongi can be so cruel. And that quality, one he doesn’t shy from turning on himself too, coupled with his pragmatic and caustic delivery… lord. He sets himself apart from every other artist alive. Nobody in BTS cuts to the bullshit faster than Yoongi - he’s lived through the consequences of deluding yourself that you’re okay when you’re not. He’s a man who is constantly examining himself, checking his worst tendencies, but never compromising on what he truly believes.

Ugh.

Times like tonight, I look at BTS and feel so much calm. They are so competent, and I’m certain whatever they make, it will be very good. Yoongi has proven that so far with this tour. Yoongi’s D-DAY concert tour is easily the best solo concerts I’ve been to this decade, and I haven’t even attended one yet. But it’s easily the best one. Easily. And I’ve been to a lot (actually been to them), especially in the last 12 months.

That crowd Jimin pulled for the Tiffany’s event is no joke. We’re now at the point where Western celerities know they’re not the main popularity driver if Jimin is also involved. They know the crowds are there for Jimin. And when he eventually showed up, he looked magnificent. Elegant. Polished. Understated. One of these days I want to see Jimin bejewelled and dressed in all primary colours - something more vibrant and queer. But that Tiffany’s event went for traditional and understated and that’s okay. It worked, because Jimin can work anything.

**

Edit [*]: Typo correction. Should include "after", meaning after arriving at and leaving the concert, Yoongi and Jimin spent time together. They arrived separately and left together, spent time together also before and after.

[soleminisanction]

There are very few ""headcanons"" out there that get a bigger side-eye from me than people who try to make Stephanie Brown into a Black girl.

Firstly because that is not a headcanon. That's just a whole-ass retcon created out of thin air. A headcanon would be saying she's a natural redhead like how Morgan Kohan played her on Batwoman, or that she's mixed-race because of the curly way some artist draw her hair. There's definitely flexibility in race interpretations for comics but looking at the blue-eyed blonde-hair white girl and declaring her "actually Black" is not one of them.

Secondly, because I have seen (and sometimes gotten) a lot of harassment from Steph fans aimed specifically at Tim's actual, canon Black love interests and teammates. I still seethe at the memory of this one CBR interview I read back when YJ2019 was running, where Brian Michael Bendis and David F. Walker were clearly there to talk up Naomi and Teen Lantern, and in the middle of their heart-felt conversation about the importance of representation for young Black girls, the interviewer butted in to interject, "But you know who I want to see more of?? Stephanie!!!" This going on while Steph fans on Twitter were going on racist tirades because the book dared to highlight the history of Teen Lantern, a character who was actually advertised to be a part of the book and a new member of the team, instead of giving them more of their white-blonde fav who had never been affiliated with YJ and was never part of the advertising.

Thirdly, she was created and so often written by Chuck Dixon, a blatant racist, and as a result there are so many little scenes of her that have uncomfortable racial elements to them. Like the one where he created a pair of Black girls just so Stephanie could call them "raging morons" to their faces and then later talk about how stupid and immature they are compared to her. (Which I am still convinced was Dixon directly criticizing the much better teen pregnancy subplot from Icon & Rocket). Or the borderline-blackface white savior ""demon"" where she wears a dead gnu and maybe accidentally calls herself a bitch in Swahili. (Disclaimer: I do not speak Swahili, and thus do not know how a sentence structure that should read "I am thorn" turns into "I'm a bitch" or "I'm crazy," but I checked that translation with three different robo-translators and got the same results so, shrug.)

And finally -- god, Steph is just, such a walking avatar of white women's privilege. Her entire thing is demanding that she get her way, never letting anyone tell her no, and still being treated by the narrative as a pure-hearted ""beacon of hope"" that everybody needs to protect and nurture at all times.

The inciting incident of War Games can be boiled down to, "A white girl got told no, and made it everybody else's problem." The first attempted Black member of the Batfamly fucking died during that event and got almost entirely forgotten because people only went to bat for the white girl who caused the whole mess and the white woman who got character assassinated to kill her off.

If Stephanie were Black, she wouldn't exist anymore. Fuck, if she were a brunette or just as butch as Carrie Kelly, she probably wouldn't exist anymore. She certainly wouldn't be Batgirl, I can't imagine Dan Didio replacing Cass with another woman of color.

And it's not even just her? Her father is also a very white character. It is incredibly easy to summarize Arthur Brown as a mediocre white man lashing out at the world for not handing him the success he felt entitled to. Take that petulant entitlement away from him and you lose his entire character.

I'm ranting about it on my own blog instead of picking a fight because everybody's entitled to their own fandom experience and blah blah, but this is just. Yeah. Ugh.

[riaaanna]

Queen Fanclub Convention 2023 Part 5: Sam Geden...

...aka when Brian commissioned the Freddie statue for WWRY 2023 specifically to be placed in his garden because he's still salty about Roger nicking the previous one in 2014 when he was away. 😂

Next in this series is an interview that was supposed to be with Stephen Pyle, who sculpted the original Freddie statue for WWRY 2003 and now for WWRY 2023. The statue isn't outside the theatre this time but (WWRY slight spoiler alert) it was present in the musical itself on stage. However Stephen wasn't there so instead Sam Geden, who took stereo photographs of the statue, came up on stage with a presentation about building the statue for WWRY 2023. He also brought a small model of Freddie that was used in the process.

Not even two slides in we were already presented with this gem of a revelation about Brian just quietly plotting to have his own Freddie statue at home. Everyone in the room was unfazed but I was just. wheezing at how salty Brian still is (and rightly so, get it Brian!!). I think that new bit of knowledge was the best part of this whole Fanclub Convention experience lmfao. Maybe we'll get to see a picture of it on his Instagram sometime? Hopefully!

Since it was a presentation format instead of Q&A this panel relied on a lot of images, which unfortunately I didn't thoroughly take pictures of. Still I think it'd be nice to appreciate the story and artistic background behind this statue so I will be posting a transcript just as I did with the other panels.

After the panel I went to buy one of his prints and chose a stereo one (cause I can free-view stereo which is amazing!) and he was very pleased because apparently people don't tend to choose the stereo ones. (📸 Ian Knight) If you're interested in the artistic process behind the statue I think this will be a very good read!

Transcript is under the cut below. I used the help of an auto transcription service and edited it manually afterwards.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so there are parts that I marked as "indistinct" and the accuracy may not be 100%. This wouldn't be their fault for not pronouncing it clearly, it would be mine for not catching it properly.

Jim Jenkins (J): Okay, so our first guest today, this is something a little bit different. Did anyone go and see We Will Rock You: The Musical at the Coliseum? Did you see the Freddie Mercury statue that was in the show? Yes? Okay well we're gonna bring on someone now – sadly the gentleman that created the statue (Stephen Pyle) unfortunately can't come, there's been a problem at home and he hasn't been able to come today. But we are going to bring him on stage the person who stereo-photographed it, and has got the whole section of how the statue was built and how it ended up on the stage. So he's going to show a lot of pictures and show us and explain how, why the statue got created. So would you please give a warm welcome to Sam Geden. (applause)

Just one thing. Can you keep the chatter down low – it really is quite loud, when you look here and people are talking. So if you can do that, thanks very much.

Sam Geden (S): (preparing presentation) Okay, let’s get started guys. Hello, wonderful Queen folks. It is great to be here. Nearly a decade since my last convention. I'm going to be honest now, I am terrible at public speaking just off the top of my head, so I have quite a lot of notes to read, so bear with me. But we're going to start with statues today. The exciting part of statues. And I hope everybody here will think, “Oh, yeah, statues? They can actually be quite cool as well.”

So last April, a friend reached out and asked if I'd be interested in giving my service as a writer and photographer to a sculptor. He wanted his process captured, as he never had the time to do it before and this would be his last big work. After going to talk to him, I found out that he was working on a statue of Freddie. But all that was known back then was that it would be in London at some point, don’t know for what, and that eventually it’ll wind up in Brian May’s garden. Can't imagine where he got that idea from. I think he was a bit jealous of Roger.

It took a hot second, or a few hot seconds, to say yes, of course. But I had some issues, I wasn't really a photographer, like I had a phone camera, you know, and I took stereo photos, which is a very different mentality to normal, actual, proper photography, but after talking with him, we kind of agreed that stereo photography would be the best way to go forward.

Now I know what some of you may be thinking, “A statue? Really? Like eugh, what next? The guy who did Queen’s album fonts?” I'm sure you'll desperately want to hear about the creative jousting that happens for the Innuendo album when it's said to be (indistinct) or Times New Roman. But that's kind of what I thought back when I first heard about this, like, you know, a sculptor? Like, is it really worth the time and money for me to go to Cambridge from Essex, a week in, week out to do this? So I went into this thinking that statue just appeared in town squares, magically. And I came out of it realising that just as it takes a village to raise a child, it's a team of artists at the top of their game to build what is effectively a giant man.

So we're here to talk about the making of the statue, but it is really about how we take images of people and make them large in life, both literally and figuratively, in what we say about people with statues.

But I really must introduce the man who wanted to be here today but couldn't make it. So this is Stephen Pyle, who has had quite the career for working as a scenic sculptor in theatre, film and live music. As you can see here, here is the band Syd Barrett before he joined Pink Floyd. He has worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber, Disney, the Rolling Stones, uh, Michael Jackson. He worked on the 1989 musical based on Metropolis. Also, Giorgio Moroder and Queen taught us that silent films were never boring, they just were missing 80s soundtracks. You might remember the bas-relief portrait of Nelson Mandela for the 2003 Cape Town concert that Queen were involved in. Steve did that too. Quite the career.

But all statues need a model though, and to that we owe a debt to Irena Sedlecká, who created the original statue of Freddie that's now in Montreux. Freddie was aware of Irena’s work, having made a bust of Laurence Olivier at the time, and you can see that was the bust that was recently at the Sotheby's exhibition. Freddie was gifted that by Dave Clark for his birthday. Irena’s specialty of sculpting heroic people in her lively, impressionistic style made her the perfect choice for this statue. As you can see, she's quite happy posing right there in that lovely photo by Richard Gray.

But even further back, we also owe a debt to Suzie Gibbons, who took that legendary shot of Freddie at Wembley, which has come to embody his status as a rock god. I haven't seen these other two photos before, and aren't they amazing? Suzie was really on fire that day.

So this was not Stephen's first time sculpting Freddie, this was his fourth time. He sculpted for Freddie in the (indistinct), so what happened with the other three? The first one was the famous Dominion Theatre statue in 2003 with Stephen, his then-wife Jackie handling the portrait and Chris Brumbridge(?) sculpting the model. This was made in three months without any reference material provided, except for a statuette of Freddie by Irena who, if you went to the Sotheby's exhibition, you saw a little statue of Freddie floating around? This statue was based on that tiny statue, so there's some interesting design (indistinct) actually, like some very nubby jacket buckles, and he's got (indistinct) flares. You can't really unsee that when you noticed it, he's wearing flares. It's not very Freddie, at that point in time, at least.

A year later, he and Jackie made a foyer statue for the Vegas production of the show, and the difference here is that Freddie's holding a guitar. There's a fun story behind that. Steven created a copy of Freddie’s white Fender that he used on stage – of course, that's what Freddie used for Crazy Little Thing Called Love, but found out that the production didn't want Freddie's guitar to be held by him, they wanted Brian's. After he made it. And after it was sent to Vegas. So they sent it back from America, to Cambridge, two years after it was sent there, for Brian’s wish to be fulfilled. Great (indistinct), look at it. It's amazing.

In 2007, Stephen alone worked on a statue for the Toronto production of the show, based off the foyer statue, which was based off the Dominion statue. So it was a copy of a copy, of a copy… and maybe another copy from there. I lost track at this point, honestly. You can see by now that Freddie's pose looks really stiff, and everything just looks a little bit off. You might notice that Freddie's jacket strap has only four of them, rather than six. I have no idea where those two straps went, but they're not there anymore. So it kind of got away from Stephen a bit then.

So when Stephen was asked to make this statue, he knew he didn't want to make another copy and get further away from Freddie. So, reuniting with Chris, they decided to return to Irena’s work and Suzie's photo. Everything that Freddie was is encapsulated in Suzie's original shot. But when you're interpreting an image like that, you need to find a focus to latch onto. You could try to capture everything that's really about Freddie, but that requires a lot of time and a lot, a lot of money. Irene had two years to capture Freddie as a three metres sculpture. Stephen had one year to capture him at six metres. No pressure.

They didn't want to copy Irena or even suggest improvement on her because she was in every way a distinctive artist. Any mistake that you think that that statue has in Montreux, those are choices that she deliberately made. And we've really realised actually towards the end, to realise that she's a genius at what she did. So instead, they wanted to focus and see how Irena did things, so that how – and see how they could respond to that in their own style. So Irena’s focus was to bring out the liveliness and gravitas of Freddie’s presence which fit well with her tactile sculpting style. Stephen really wanted to emphasize the movement of Freddie in that photo, because that wasn’t a posed moment, you know, Suzie captured Freddie mid-flight. There’s a bit – I think it's at the end of Radio Ga Ga at Wembley, you can actually see him doing that pose, it lasts for a second. So an Irena statue though feeling very lively, is quite static and posed, because it was – that photo on the right hand side, that’s Irena working with someone posing as Freddie, and that's Freddie's hatchet(?) jacket that that random guy is wearing, So she based a lot of that pose on that guy, honestly.

…I’ve lost my train of thought where was I? Oh yeah, I should say that photo is in Aleksandra Mir’s amazing book, “Freddie on the Plinth”, which I highly recommend. Anyone who's interested in seeing more pictures like this should check it out. It's on Amazon for like £4, so you know, go nuts.

So, before making sure that Freddie has the right number of buckles and actual shoelaces this time around, Stephen and Chris wanted to make sure this statue actually felt like (indistinct) on the crescendo of an incredible performance, which of course you know from seeing the Wembley show, it absolutely was.

But how does this actually get made? How do you go from this brilliant image to this six metre statue? Well, like how a film is made on the page, on the stage, and in the edit, a statue is made three times. As a clay maquette, as a polystyrene sculpt, and a fiberglass cast. And it all starts with Little Freddie, who we actually have here right now. Give a round of applause for Little Freddie Mercury over here. (applause) Oh fantastic. He needs all the (indistinct) he can get.

So this is the actual maquette that was used for the sculpting of the statue, it’s beautiful isn't it? So this is the very start point, this is the first phase of production. So the maquette is a smaller statue that Chris – Chris Brumbridge(?) sculpted to get understanding of Freddie's proportions in the 3D space, and to really lock down those elements. You might see that there's a lot of, there is, a real swing to his waist to really feel like he's moving. Stephen and Chris collaborated quite a lot to make sure that the flow of Freddie's movements is captured at the centre stage from the way that his jacket flies outwards to the swing of his hips as he raises his fist in the air. Everything that's here will eventually be translated over to the full statue.

You can put him down. Say goodbye to little Freddie. Actually, you can just put him here. Yeah, put him on the table. I gave him his own stage. He deserved it. He's like two feet tall and he's already higher up than I am. He belongs on stage, he’s Freddie, of course he does.

So everything that’s here will eventually be translated over to the full statue. As you can kind of see in his, kind of, lineature. So Chris used this exact maquette to get to – as he sculpted the main body on blocks of polystyrene in a studio in Peterborough. Now, a statue of this size, again, six meters, it's taller than this building, it’s taller than the roof. (indistinct) It isn’t done in one piece, it was done in segments and then put together to see if it looks right and is all assembled. Starting with a slab of polystyrene and trying to find Freddie underneath is quite daunting. So having a smaller Freddie, literally on hand, to make sure you are getting all the details you need is pretty essential.

So, as you can see, this is Chris actually handling the maquette as he's sculpting it. And as you – the one on the right is, he gets pretty close to the end. That's the last time that we saw the polystyrene body before we shipped it off. So once Chris was finished here with the polystyrene body, Freddie was shipped to Cambridge for Stephen and his assistant Heather to continue up.

So this involves Heather embellishing details like giving – for these shoelaces and (indistinct) on his microphone and such. Again, things you wouldn't really think are that essential, but when you actually notice them, they're in quite nice detail. Like, no one's going to see the microphone, you know? No one is going see that microphone, but it was really important that we got that detail there. Anyone can come up, by the way, and take a picture of him. He's there to be seen and admired, so by all means, come up.

So… I lost my train of thought. That always happens when I go off-script. This is why you need a script, folks, I'm not an improviser. So Heather, who is amazing, and I wish she could have been here today, she did a lot of the extra passing stuff like the microphone and the shoelaces for the two main molds of each part of the model. So the polystyrene sculpt, this thing here that you just saw, only exists, yeah this thing right here, only exists for the actual statue to be cast in fiberglass. So you go from a positive full-bodied sculpture to a shell, kind of, or going back to an actual proper statue with a different material. Fiberglass needs to be shaped in a mould and it's lightweight enough to be used in a theatre that size with no problems, that's why they use fiberglass.

Also, as an aside, Stephen’s studio is incredible, because Stephen’s studio isn't a studio, it's a barn. And Freddie was far too big for the space, so it felt really weird creating this like, rock god image in a place where pigs used to sleep. You can actually also hear pigs in another farm just down the road, just ever so often. So yeah that's, that Freddie in Stephen's studio, far too big, like literally that the size of the studio right there, it was hilarious.

The act of molding, casting and assembling a statue probably took up the vast majority of the time I spent with Stephen and Heather. Every time I came back it looked like not a lot of progress was made, until you really go under the hood and saw that, “Oh, now the pants are more detailed.” Or, “The torso has more connection points to the legs.” Often one task takes up a whole day, and even beyond that, in the case of the steelworks skeleton needed to support the statue when it stands upright, lest a gentle breeze knocks Freddie over and squashes Galileo into a little sillhouetto.

But that said, seeing more of the Freddie jigsaw be assembled week in and week out was exhilarating, actually. I remember when we attached his fist – the picture on the right – to the rest of his arm. I can really recognise Freddie for the first time in this big abstract display. He was facing downwards at the time. So I could never really get much of an idea of him until that moment.

So it was here that I cheekily stepped off my photographer role and started suggesting some details. Because I'm a fan, I wanna see these guys do it right. So I kind of said, “Can we make some embellishments? Can we do some little things? We can make this the best statue of Freddie, we really could.” And they said, “Yeah, sure Sam, you know, you just take photos, don't get in the way.” And it (indistinct).

So, I noticed that none of the statues, not even Irena’s, had Freddie's sweatband on his raised arm. I mean, why would they? You know like a sweat band is a practical tool for flesh and blood performers, you know, not images of rock gods But Stephen recognized that it was an important detail to ground Freddie in a kind of reality, rather than A Kind of Magic, so he specially sculpted a sweatband onto his wrist. I also pushed four notches on Freddie's jacket and belt, details that absolutely no one, no one would notice. Um, but we were all so passionate about making this image as authentic to Freddie and that original shot as possible that we just wanted to get that there until it wasn't just a piece of scenery.

And I'm proud to say, walking tragedy that I am, that each jacket strap has the correct number of notches. Five, six, six, seven, seven, nine. You won't believe how many times I had to stop and start Wembley (concert show) to make sure that number was correct. Even towards the end it wasn't correct, so I had to get someone to fill in an extra notch. We're serious people here at Stephen Pyle’s studio. (laughs) I should’ve numbered these slides... Where was I?

Okay, so I suppose before I show you the full completed statue, you all know about the head, right? Do you want to know the heads? Do want see the heads? Okay so, well just like if you look at a whole separate presentation of the heads and how the sculpt is – in fact, we're writing a book on this right now, it’s going to have its own chapter. A portrait is an endeavor, like everything has been as complex as a statue itself. So here's some shots showing the evolution of the portrait from Chris' initial run past, right at the top left there, to Stephen starting and restarting it.

Now it's not just as simple as taking that shot of him pouting and looking down and making it 3D, you know, Stephen needs to figure out the depth and dynamic of Freddie’s face. You know, and unfortunately, Freddie wasn't around to sit and model for him and there's no perfect 360 degree reference shot of him. So Stephen had to study a lot of photos of him. Like, seriously, at one point the studio was filled with photos of Freddie lining the walls. It was actually quite surreal. I thought Freddie was looking at me wherever I went. And so – from as many angles as he could across his whole career. When you come to make a portrait like this for a statue you need to be aware of how it's going to be seen. To make it look like Freddie from every conceivable angle would take months and months and again lots of money which we didn't have.

So Stephen only had two weeks to do this portrait. After all was said and done, we were given a very firm deadline. The deadline came across very, very quickly. We were told in March that we had to give it to the production in May. So, yeah, only two weeks to get that whole portrait. So Stephen prioritised the angles that people would see it in the theatre. And it took a bit more of a stylistic approach. So you know what Freddie was in these images, he’s pouting a bit? That really minimised his features. So Stephen took inspiration from Renaissance portraiture to open up a space of it. So you can see his eyes very wide open, he's got this beautiful carving where his eyes would be, to both give him a look, a less classical – befitting of his heroic pose, but also it's that even someone sitting in the farthest row of the Coliseum could see that head and recognize Freddie. If there was one design fault, it was that Stephen didn't have enough time to properly shape and (indistinct) Freddie’s hairline. So he looked a bit more like The Game, rather than A Kind of Magic here.

Now, remember I said that Freddie was too big for Stephen’s studio? I meant it because when he was all put together, a wall had to be knocked out just to drag him out. So we transported him back to the biggest studio in (indistinct) to start painting him that familiar shade of bronze. Heather came up with this cool method of using bronze powder paint and slapping Freddie, like slapping his body to create that speckled pattern that bronze has. Very primitive but quite effective – really cathartic as well. Really fun. Alas, due to (indistinct) at that time I couldn’t be there when Stephen and the team put Freddie on his pedestal, to hold the mic stand. But I was there to see him in all his glory, albeit suspended chains which, you know, maybe Freddie would have liked. Who knows? To see them hanging there, though, with every detail filled in, was incredible. And as you can see, I couldn't resist trying to recreate Made in Heaven, though the chains and the floors basically get the exact angle of that wonderful album cover, it was still quite a cool moment.

Now, to not go into too much detail out of courtesy, but when we delivered the statue to the Coliseum, everyone loved it. Um, are there any children here? I'm about to say a naughty word. No? You've heard it anyway. So we got to Coliseum. Everyone loved him there, and said he was fucking fantastic – quoting him there. but then we got a call a couple of days later to say that someone turned up and didn't like the head, and suddenly everyone else didn’t like it either.

Stephen wouldn’t be able to have worked on it in a working theatre with loads of people moving around at once, which they misinterpreted as something like, he wouldn't do it flat out. So without our knowledge or insight, they hired Jackie to completely redo the head by decapitating Freddie and sending it to her studio in Yorkshire to work on – I believe she had two days to do it. So that was – the one on the left is Freddie as we left him, um… that – that wasn't Freddie's head decapitated, that was when we did the head, so, you know, artistic license, but the on the right is the one that you guys saw at the Coliseum, and, uh, you know… I'm not going to knock Jackie because she had two days to make it and she didn’t have (indistinct) in that time constraint, but obviously I am biased and I’m thinking, “I could’ve done a little bit of a better job.” Little bit.

But the fact that the head is the only thing commented upon by this person, that Stephen's work was altered without telling or asking him, (indistinct) wanted to be here today. So often when it comes to art based on a star, you only notice that there’s an artist behind it when there's something wrong – which is often that it somehow doesn't look sufficiently like the artist. It's a criticism that probably a few of you have (indistinct) at Irena’s statue if you've gone to Montreux and you're like, “Oh, that’s a bit (indistinct) it doesn't even look like him.”

But to say that a statue is only as good as the portrait is kind of like saying Queen is as only good as Bohemian Rhapsody. Everyone here in this room knows that that song is far from the peak of Queen's incredible and varying body of work and will jump to her defense when people say they didn't like Queen because they think Bo Rhap is an overrated piece of shit. That's kind of what I'm doing here with this, you know. The whole statue is amazing. The head is not the main thing. What we tend not to consider is that it's not as straightforward as taking a single image and making it through the enlargement lines. There are tons of references, research, phases of production. And it’s all… it’s not really (indistinct) by the people working on them because to be commissioned to make a statue means you're more than capable enough to do it, but by how much money you have for the resources and support, and how much time you have. You know, when it comes to statues of rock stars, time is always a strangling factor, as well as the expectation that you don't take any artistic liberties with the image. If it's not photo-milistically(?) accurate, you’re deemed to have failed no matter what your aim was. Like, here are some of the references here, like that – he had a photo of Freddie’s ear. Like he had a close-up of Freddie’s ear to try and get the ear correct. That's how dedicated he was to make it as accurate as possible.

So I guess this is a long-winded way of me saying that these statues of Freddie, and anyone else really – they're made by people under often really strict constraints. And so within those restraints they try to capture the essence of who their subject was. We spend so much time picking apart what is incorrect, that we never really consider the way that the artists have succeeded. So it's so vital that we know the people behind these works and how they important they are to us.  

So I want you to know the names of Stephen Pyle, Chris Brumbridge, Jackie Pyle and Heather, cause they all worked to create these statues for you over 20 years to capture the spirit of Freddie in We Will Rock You. You should know Irena Sedlecká, of course, but you know – take the time to read her interview in “Freddie on the Plinth” to know how she works as an artist. And if nothing else, you should definitely know the name of Suzie Gibbons, without whom none of these statues would have happened had she not clicked her shutter at the exact moment to give us rock’s most powerful image.

Thank you guys so much. (applause)

(He promotes selling photo prints of the statue and showing the small Freddie statue)

J: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, that was really interesting. Will you please show your appreciation – Sam Geden!

[alwayscryingoverdannyb]

for the tea questions! 1, 4, 11, 15 and 21 - i'm nosy :)

1 How did you come to choose your current profession or lifestyle? profession was an accident. I was a receptionist, then I did backoffice and then I got offered a junior consultant position and seeing as I was overall pretty much fucked I didn't give a damn and said "why not." and then I had a good boss and it made it feel worthwhile to try to get better at it. somewhere along the way the job started to be fun and gave me sense of accomplishment and here I am, a senior consultant :)) as for lifestyle - bruh a ton of therapy. I stopped trying to "fix" things about me I didn't like and leaned into adjusting my life to suit who I actually am. (I'm a 20-80 sunshine-grump mix with extremely low social batteries and fierce need for personal space and time.)

4 Do you have any habits or quirks that others find unique or strange? I actually asked my best friend bc I needed someone else's perspective :D bc how would I know it's strange to other people when it's normal to me? And she said the following: - when I'm really happy about something, I do a small but whole-body wiggle of joy, apparently - I have very specific requirements for temperature regulation (I'm too hot quite often and feel warmer than everybody else 100% of the time. I also takes way longer to feel cold than most people) - I have thick, heavy hair and I put it up in a bun in a very specific way and apparently to other people it's so fast it looks like a ninja trick

11 Do you have any coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety or fear? yes, I've developed some over the years. when I can't do anything about the situation, I try to distract myself and shift my focus to something else (book/podcast... ideally nothing to do with our reality), I also isolate myself (I rarely want consoling or a pep talk) and go to sleep. and then my brain resets overnight and it's always better in the morning. lots of it has to do simply with life experience - I often say to myself "shut up nerd you always think this and it's literally never that bad." so again. therapy helped.

15 What kind of music do you listen to, if any? there's a reasonably wide range of genres I listen to but I tend to hyper focus on a small selection of artists/songs for long periods of time. like, abt every 2-3 years I have an "eminem month" and then I don't listen to him for a couple years, you know what I mean? but if I go the other way around, I'd say I //don't// listen to anything harder than linkin park, no house, edm, dnb, ska.. and I don't really know the contemporary pop either - no ed sheeran, no taylor, no sabrina carpenter for me. no shade, it just doesn't speak to me. and yes, sometimes it makes me feel like I live under a rock. but that rock is called oasis and I like it.

21 Is there someone who has significantly influenced your life? I'm gonna leave my mom out of this bc that's an obvious answer (and would be like 15k words) but first people to come to mind are two of the bosses that I've had at this job. Possibly first positive/healthy male authority figures I've ever had - them showing trust in me and my professional competence has truly been life changing and confidence building. Also being told "I like you so much as a friend!" by someome who (in my dumb head) only tolerated me, has been a paradigm shift. I think about that moment every time my brain is telling me people must, obviously, hate me.

thank you for asking! I had a lot of fun thinking about these ^_^

[shefanispeculator]

Starwood Rehearsals, a 10,000-square-foot turnkey space that opened in June 2022, offers a blank canvas for creative artists and their teams to bring their brightest ideas to life before kicking off their headlining tours. The massive venue is located outside of Nashville, Tennessee.

Schirmer spoke about the Starwood’s thoughtful design, offering vast space and an intentional blank slate for artists “to create an environment for people that is open to their imagination,” he said. Artists like Ballerini and Shelton (who used the rehearsal venue to create a virtual concert experience during the pandemic) can bring their shows from a visual conception to a true performance with full run-through rehearsals, working out any snags or technical difficulties before reaching their live audiences.

Photo: PRG

Photo: PRG

“I think having been on both sides of it as a music-loving fan who goes to shows, and somebody who's worked in this industry for 30 years now, I think the big surprise — and it has always been when I bring my family out to shows, and they stay after the show ends to see what happens — the big surprise is just how much work goes into, and how much work and activity goes into putting these shows in every day,” Schirmer said, when asked what most fans might be surprised to learn about tour prep. “It's possible that the average concertgoer doesn't understand that we come (to the venue) first thing that morning. We set up that show and it's ready by the time they come in, and then we do the show and it ends and we tear it down, we put it in trucks and we go do the same thing the next day. I think sometimes that gets overlooked. So, it's definitely a big surprise when they understand that something like Rihanna may have 200 employees on that tour and there's 53 trucks and there's 7, 10, 12 buses, and there's all these people that go along with it. I think that's a big surprise for everybody when and if they get a chance to see that, how much work actually goes into it.

Photo: PRG

Schirmer also emphasized that the Starwood Rehearsals space is designed to be private, so as not to allow for distractions when the artists and their teams are working, and to not give away any of the unique elements of the show.

Photo: PRG

Starwood: Paying Tribute To Local History While Looking Ahead To The Future

Located outside of a major city so rich in music history, the cutting-edge rehearsal space pays homage to a since-closed iconic outdoor music venue. The Starwood Amphitheater was a renowned venue located just a few miles from the newly-opened rehearsal building. Preceding Downtown Nashville’s Ascend Amphitheater and Franklin’s FirstBank Amphitheater, the Starwood Amphitheater hosted tons of legendary artists in the two decades it served local concertgoers, between 1986 and 2006.

“It's a big part of the heritage, culture and community of Nashville,” Schirmer said of the former venue. “You got to kind of think about how you move into the future. But when it left, it left a big hole in the area. …So, we really wanted to pay homage to the fact that this community grew around this particular venue, and we think that means something to the culture of Nashville and being central to the United States and such.

Schirmer spoke about the Starwood’s thoughtful design, offering vast space and an intentional blank slate for artists “to create an environment for people that is open to their imagination,” he said. Artists like Ballerini and Shelton (who used the rehearsal venue to create a virtual concert experience during the pandemic) can bring their shows from a visual conception to a true performance with full run-through rehearsals, working out any snags or technical difficulties before reaching their live audiences

[nettchan02]

Animals

anthropomorphism

Fairy tale

Storytelling

Narrative

I had a chance to research the automorphism. It seems like it reflects how rehumanised the animals were. I've got it. Shawn disturbs us, and I felt I was the kind of person creating a story for the animals. If I could bring an example, I usually see so many scrolls around the university. I imagined the squirrels. Was each of them picked their head on me and I met they literally tried telling me a story about, like, what are they doing, or they're interested about to know me, or they just wanted to be saying hi to me when I was walking around, or they're interested when I thought of grabbed them when I was seeing them. They are eating. I usually search. Sometimes, I watch how many classmates or artists turned animals into humanisation. The anime also turns animals into human styles. If I could bring an example, there is the B star. There is the bastard heavy metal. It's humanising the animals, like creating a human body, having abs and everything. It's way too humanising. I also got a chance to see each of the oil panes on a modern uh galleries was totally humanising the animals into something I also could pick the example of Winnie the Pooh was also a little bit humanised, or maybe bitcher spots is uh animals got little bit humanised with the child fantasy way, just like we need to put a child fantasy away. They got a humanist, but they might be talking wrongly because I don't know anything specific about humanizing. What will it be? Everybody's thinking, what exactly did it mean? Do you have any particular ideas on what humanizing is?

In the lesson, I saved the lecturer's and the class's perspectives in a document, where my lecturer presented facts and his opinions of anthropomorphism. I personally find that anthropomorphism is a long journey to see in my visual way the meaning of anamorphism. It's like surreal images presenting Alice and Wonderland.

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1dqzQytBbDvyEYucgrhFNLy8XMpyC3WlZVVC-CzV8FQQ/edit#slide=id.p20

From our discussion with the group, I had a chance to research and mention, uh. The artist who had created it had been writing, and I feel it might also illustrate the plague. Dogs The water ships down these two creations, which are about like the animals living there. Richard Adams's Plague Dogs is about the stories of 2. dogs that had been run away from the shelters because they got experimented on. It's pretty upsetting. How were the dogs treated? It was unfortunate because The dogs don't deserve this kind of treatment, and we could see insights from a dog's perspective. It's a bit tricky because we cannot really learn about animals. Minds or understanding all the animals wanted to tell us a person. Think is giving me so many questions about the theories of the dolphins about the 20PERCENTAGE of brain cells.

It's like smartness, like questioning an animal's brains about how many percentages it could have a dolphin or how many percentages it could have an animal. It makes me question whether an animal could have more like a percentage in their mind. The other creation is the watershed down. It was that kind of animation, Just like the dog's one. It's supposed to be presented on a kid's TV series. I heard this TV series was banned from the kids' channel because it's shoving in a grotesque way of living. The dogs and the rabbits were being treated poorly and experimented on. They wanted to be much more presentable, like running away and wanted to be living. It's like shoving different alterations, like, for example, Peter rabbits when the rabbits wanted to live, eat, and feed themselves because they have to live by something. So they need to eat something to be alive. It's. It's similar to when you go on a safari and can see that. How was this going from the animals? So this small animal, the frogs eating plants, and that plant eater got eaten by a frog, and the frog got eaten by a bird, and the bird got eaten by a lion? So these rabbits don't find their way out of the living. It's pretty sad because even my tutor mentioned when he was watching as a kid, he was crying, and this was. Lifestyles were shown in the plot. It's obviously not like Peter Rabbit, so I've had funny actions, and everything is amusing for the animals. It was like this is the come. Of the way he was in reality, The rabbit has to be run away from the humans and has to be run away from dogs, has to be ended up to be got entrapped and has to be found all racing high. This is like showing an actual perspective, or it's not the camera we put inside a rabbit hole, and we sing inside how a rabbit was acting. It could be questionable why we are humanizing the animals, but this is a perspective that talks of the animals personally, like this house, where we are inside our minds. We put a camera inside those rabbit holes and sang how a rabbit's life was going. We sing the dark sides of the rabbit's life.

The platonic relationship or the physical relationships with an animal how worse it could be and how many taboo gonna be breaking boundaries between the animals and the humans and being turning to like Tel joke or exhausting time like experimenting this love feeling or like letting the animal or letting yourself to turn into some illegal thing to do with the animals¿

[kyrodo]

Sometimes people want some lore in their life and they get way more than they bargained for. I used to listen to Red's stories about marching band and boy scouts and soccer from his younger days. I used to envy him strongly for it. I always felt like my life was lacking in meaningful experiences and getting together with Red helped me make up for it. There are still the days I spent on the Redwall forums that still had a strong impact on me. But before that all I was doing was looking for ways to waste time. Day in day out school homework gaming. That is all my childhood had really and my social life then was not as involved as I would have liked. I didn't keep friends that stuck around anyway and that in mind made it less meaningful.

So I was highly engaged by Red's stories wishing I had been there to share it with him. My existence in comparison felt supplemental at best. And I grew up to do the same as I always have, except it's work instead of school.

Gaming became less and less valuable to me, and I wanted to spend more time around people, like I did when Red brought me to our first fur meets and cons. Cause that gave me energy, that made me extremely happy. And I was stuck looking back wondering if I would ever feel that way again. Vrchat solved a lot of that problem. Irl I never really go anywhere unless Red is there with me, both as an expectation and because he drives me around, and his availability and his energy are both extremely limited.

But on vrchat I don't have to worry about such things. I can hold my own even without Red there and make meaningful connections. Connections where I'm not the person everybody loves to hate like I was with you.

I'm the person everybody loves instead. I'm the cat that everybody adores. I calm people down like Shine, Choskey, and Lupy, people with phantom sense universally seem to enjoy my pettings, people get charmed by the noises I make or think my avatar looks nice. And it goes in direct opposition against everything I suffered in the past that only a select few ever even hear about. I'm the unity expert, I'm the artist, I'm so much to people now when all I was before was somebody to lie to and hurt.

There are definitely times in life you'll wish karma would do its job, but I stopped caring. In the end, in our dynamic I'm not the one that does awful things to people, it was you, and I can live with that. Why you always make decisions to make a bad situation worse, that's for you to explain to people not me. Every cheap move you could have possibly made and I was just along for the ride. All just to be able to post about what I was going through with you. I didn't make all the best moves with you, but you made a deliberate effort to make the worst ones.

Thanks to you though the next time someone tries to be selective about what they acknowledge from me, the next time someone tries to manipulate me, I would crush them.

And I just find it silly, all these attempts to get me to perform angry circus tricks for you and you're the one who Does The Thing. This is the difference between trash culture and an honest person. There is such a huge gap between us when it comes to what we do when we're upset with someone and I am more than happy to point it out to you. You got to comfortable watching shows that normalize people being an absolute problem to society that just can't fucking help yourself.

I was easier to make fun of when you thought I was just someone who faps to furry shota. There are worse believe me, there are much worse people out there and you're inside one.

Like I said, nothing is ever as it seems. Nothing is ever as clearcut as you want it to be. The world doesn't work that way. If you never see the full story about someone you will always be making the same old fucking mistakes with people.

Once upon a time I used to be curious what your story was. I've lost interest. I'm not interested in people I can't get a single word in with without them randomly deciding to give up on me. I'm not interested in people who repost impatient gengar after I've told them I'm waiting for ADHD Red to fix my console who's already overworked at work to fix my fucking console.

I'm not interested in people who keep making assumptions when they don't get what they want right away because they are fucking stupid. I really shouldn't have to provide video evidence every fucking little thing you just don't fucking get cause you're only a visual learner.

You turned something this small and simple completely out of proportion and I don't feel sorry for you at all. If you want to ask questions then start asking the right ones. You wrote this tragedy. You wrote it cause you can't trust a single word from anybody you don't know. No matter how basic the interaction anxiety be like, no everything anybody says that isn't me is fucking lying. You got what you deserved.

If you wanted to live in the shittiest horror plot ever written you found one. The writers seriously had no idea what the fuck they were doing. It's that classic comedic horror where everything everyone thought they knew at the start was exactly what they thought but the only one keeping track is everyone's target. And you know what I prefer pretty boys over fat ones anyway so let's move on. I've got common allergies that are very hard to avoid, I'm not meeting specifications any time soon.

I always wanted someone to perpetually rage against while I'm bored at work. And after what I went through I hardly think pressing the right buttons is a pressing concern.

[xtruss]

An Illustration Shows Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden Racing with the Aid of Walkers. Art By Barry Blitt

Barry Blitt’s “The Race For Office”! The Artist Discusses Hernias, Walkers, and the Joys of Old Age.

— By Françoise Mouly | September 25, 2023

Is the U.S.—long thought to be the land of new beginnings—in danger of becoming a sclerotic gerontocracy? “In a declining society, the images of an aging leadership can come to embody a general sense of withering and decay,” David Remnick writes in the Comment for the October 2, 2023, issue. “A civic nightmare becomes the caricaturist’s dream.” For the issue’s cover, the cartoonist Barry Blitt portrays the irony and absurdity of the advanced-age politicians currently vying for our top offices. Blitt, who, at sixty-five, is a qualified member of the past-their-prime cohort, also drew from his own experience. As a fellow old duffer (I’m nearly three years older than he is), I called him for a kvetch fest and was rewarded with talk of borrowed walkers, missing teeth, lost hair, and some new belly buttons.

So, what’s up, as the kids say? Is it the knee today or is it the digestion?

Right. I’m sure the readers would love to know what’s ailing me. The knees are both fine, and the digestion is top-notch, thanks for asking. But I think you’ll be thrilled to hear that I recently had five hernias taken care of in one day. When I went in, they thought it was going to be two or three, but afterward the doc couldn’t wait to tell me he found five of them. As I regained consciousness, he was excitedly showing me a diagram of what he’d done.

[Laughs.] That was a good day for hernias.

Well, yes, a good day for a hernia doctor to add to his war stories. It’s not like it used to be, where they’d have to cut you wide open. They do it laparoscopically—I think they go in through your belly button. In any case, now I’ve got some new, extra belly buttons. [Laughs.] Also, it was supposed to be an outpatient procedure, but they kept me overnight—I was a bit of a mess afterward. (Is this really going to be part of the interview? I’d rather talk about bitcoin.) But anyway, this was all a couple of months ago, I’m feeling much better now.

I’m so glad I asked. You wouldn’t have told me otherwise.

I was honestly telling everybody, because it seemed like some kind of record. But then I met someone a couple of weeks ago, a woman at a dinner party, who wasn’t impressed at all. She told me she’d once had seven done in one day! And she wasn’t even old, though it likely happened to her because she had delivered three children.

So not the cause for yours, obviously. What did you do to deserve so many hernias? Were you lifting art work?

No, not art work, but for a while, I was playing gigs in New York City and carrying my electric piano and an amp around. Like an idiot, I used to schlep them on and off of Metro-North trains and into taxis, because I was nervous about driving into town. So I’m sure that’s where I got a few of them.

I knew it had to be for the sake of art.

This wasn’t art, but, yes, it was for the sake of fun.

So other than hernias . . .

Right, what else? I’ve got a lot less hair than I had at the beginning of the pandemic. If you’re going to lose your hair, you want to do it gradually over time, so people see you every day and they get to take it in stride.

[Laughs.] But how would anyone know, since you’re always wearing a hat?

Beware of the times you can’t wear a hat—that’s my motto. But everything else is sort of all right. I mean, I’m missing some teeth, too. [Laughs.] I am missing five teeth. Or maybe it’s six. I’ll do a count after we talk. Only one is conspicuous, in the front. I’ve got to do something about that one.

Why are you losing so many teeth? You just wake up and they fall to the floor?

No, no. I don’t know if you’ve had any root canals, but root canals don’t last forever. Sometimes the shell of the root cracks and gets infected, and they have to pull the tooth. So I’ve had a bunch of those. I have “Montreal teeth.” That’s what they call it. We didn’t have fluoride in our water until much later than most places.

Wow!

Although, it doesn’t seem to be affecting any of my friends or my brother or anybody else I know from Montreal—I’ve just got terrible teeth.

[Laughs.] My dentist is nice and always tells me there’s also a genetic component.

Maybe, but my parents have way more teeth than I do. Actually, I remember being quite young and looking at the gaps between my great-grandfather’s teeth. And now I am my own great-grandfather in that way.

[Laughs.] Are there any other ways that you feel like you’re your own great-grandfather?

Well, my mother has a fancy walker, and I take it for a spin when I’m in Montreal. I have walked around the house with it, you know, preparing myself for the inevitable. It’s just a matter of time. But besides the teeth, the hair, the hernias, and probably a couple of other things, I’m surprisingly fine.

[dontdoititsscary]

All the reasons not to try

The Re-Learners lament

(No one needs to read this but me)

I fully understand why some folks who have drawn forever and then develop an interest in developing formal skill dabble their toes in learning and then say ‘fuck this’ and either give right up and go back to old habits (been me a couple times) or burn hot and bright spamming development until they burn out and decide to move on from art entirely(Also been me). 

It mostly feels like the deck is stacked against you - there’s too much information, there’s too many competitive mindsets, there’s too much encouragement that feels hollow and at every step of the way it feels like you have to defend yourself against the question of both ‘why are you not better?’ and ‘why are you not satisfied?’It comes from everywhere. 

When you’re an amateur and you’re a beginner’s beginner, people want to help because it feels good to help and you’re easy to help. People engage with your work because you are an underdog of underdogs. You deserve that help and attention of course. It is a hard thing to truly know nothing and be willing to look to others for assistance. It’s a pretty big trust fall.

When you’re an amateur, but pro in your skills, other amateurs and pros want to help you because you’re also easy to help. For pros- it becomes talking shop with a peer and is probably pretty fun- you’re tackling the high level problems of someone who mostly got it figured out. Other amateurs find you hella aspirational and if they are the kind of peers that are trying to work the engagement numbers (or honestly if they are the elitist type, that kind is less common but definitely exists)- you become the only kind of fellow amateur who is worth it to hitch a wagon to. After all- if we’re going hard on our #grind in the attention economy- you’d ideally want to be friends with, critique and spend your time with artists of your caliber or better - either in skills or engagement.

But when you’re in the middle - when you can do X kinda well, but y needs work - or when you have cool ideas or one skill you’re decent at- your work is publicly flawed and has the nerve to aspire to be better. It looks awkward because it is representative of an incomplete knowledge base and synthesis of skills. Your mistakes look obvious to anyone with a trained eye - even other amateurs. 

Your mistakes look so obvious that it almost looks like you defiantly ignored the right way to do things. People assume you knew how to do things, but your mistakes are 1)laziness, 2) arrogance  3) lack of willingness to improve. Sometimes people get weirdly hostile when critiquing you - thinking it’s their job to shake you out of the complacency they assumed led to your partial success. In a weird sense - you lose the benefit of the doubt.

No one wants to see the lag in between when someone starts to realize the right way to do something and when they are actually capable of it. People don’t know how to help you out of that pit, so they handwave you and tell you you’ll figure it out yourself or they lecture you on mindset and the importance of practice. After all- if you knew better, you’d be better. And if you’re not better, it’s because you’re not working hard/smart enough. Your every mistake is evidence of this. People communicate this all the time without meaning to. 

To occupy the middle spot is to feel both insecure in your skill because there are obvious gaps and yet fiercely defensive of it because people make all kinds of weird assumptions for why you’re not already there yet. Your work is not charmingly ugly. It’s lazy, it’s purposefully misdirected - it’s a sign of your inability to prioritize. It becomes easy to retreat backwards when you feel that pressure at the middle and stick to only what you can already pull off - or abandon the whole thing altogether. 

You push and you grind and everybody goes ‘woah chill, remember balance, duh everyone knows you’ll burn out’. You experiment and everybody goes ‘woah chill your work lacks x or y, are you sure you’re studying enough to try this? Really sure?’ Whatever you’re doing feels wrong. And cause you’re questioned no matter what, you doubt every single choice you make. Which is hell - because if you’re a self taught amateur- part of your job is curating a complete art education- deciding not just what skills to work on, but when and how. Not just all that but learning how to accurately assess your own weaknesses. You learn to distrust your skill, your taste and your closeness to “better”

I went to an in-person art class. The assignment was to draw a cast of an ear, as accurately as possible - nailing the right proportions, shape and eventually value. Before we moved onto any rendering, the teacher wanted to check our proportions. He said to me - ‘do you know most of this was pretty close to dead on?.’ And of course, when he checked how tall I had made the cast itself, he looked at where I made my first mark to determine the bottom and then where I made my second mark to determine the bottom. The first time I made the mark - I had it in the right place. Then I second guessed it and made the cast too short. He asked why I second guessed my proportion. It’s because I assumed I was wrong.

In my second attempt, my proportions were worse. He said that happens sometimes. I was right, then I convinced myself I was wrong, then I became wrong and became wronger. New information made me worse before it made me better. That is what it feels like to be an amateur in the awkward stages of learning. You were a little right at something, but then you blinked and you’re wrong. Then you stay wrong because everyone saw your mistake and assumed that you meant it. It feels like everyone is saying you’re wrong, then you say it to yourself. You become encouragement proof. You circle the drain. You retreat into old habits or you fade away. 

[trapangeles]

Tap'n with Hip Hop Artist - Adisa

Adisa is a rising Hip Hop/Rap artist from Los Angeles who has been making waves in the music industry with his unique sound and style. His journey as an artist has been fueled by his persistence and determination to be stylistically unique. Adisa's music is a reflection of his experiences growing up in California, with a jazzy and west coast sound that is both dark and colorful. He has been compared to artists like Greedo, Blxst, Warren G, Cole, and Q Tip. Adisa's ultimate goal is to be the best and create original music that breaks the mold. He is currently working on a new tape that is set to be released soon. If you're looking for some new and exciting music, be sure to check out Adisa's work and follow him on social media to stay up to date on his latest projects.

Tell us about your story and how you got to where you are? I’m an artist from LA, I think what brought me here is persistence, just not giving up. If you keep going you’ll learn! What has been your biggest obstacle in your journey as an artist? One of the biggest obstacles for me early on was to be stylistically unique. When I started I probably sounded like everybody! It’s natural to emulate others but that’s just not what I want to do. Also to just chip away at this a little bit everyday. We all got responsibilities and distractions so just do what you can sustain. Not crash out doing too much at once that’s the challenge right there. What lessons have you learned? Anything meaningful is going to be difficult. Trust your instincts, if you like it someone will like it. If its quality people will appreciate that. Similar energy all bunches up into one thing as time passes. You can be your own plant or a branch off of some else’s, but you have to decide early! Tell us about your music; how would you describe your sound? It sounds like what we go though being young from California. It’s so much money and opportunities out here but there’s an influx of people trying to capitalize off this. It’s dark sometimes. Colorful, jazzy and west coast. Original. A lot of thought goes into these records. They have their own vibe and I love that. I always wanted my music to be unique, this the only place you can get this from! What other artists would you compare yourself to? Greedo ? Blxst? Someone who produces too. Warren G, Cole, Q Tip… If you could work with any artists, who would you choose? Dom Kennedy, Hit-Boy, Greedo or Kendrick. What sets you apart from other artists? My style! What should we know about your work? Know this is for Los Angeles. When you see us you should feel like you can do it too! When you hear me you should know it’s alright to not fit in, you can do this how you want on your terms. You can break the mold, know that! What are your plans for the future? My immediate plan is to finish up this tape so I can get back to performing and do more give aways. That and buy all the empty lots on Western. What motivates you, or keeps you going? Wanting to be the best is what motivates me. Having people to take care of. New sounds. We spend so much time out here in traffic. Gotta have a soundtrack for that, right? Tell us something that might surprise people about you. Before this I was trying to be a singer! How do you define success? I’m a creator. The closer the final product is to wherever we had in our minds before it came to fruition is how we measure success. Money, Grammy’s, billboards, all that is fire but I just want to be creative and original before anything. How well executed this vision is will determine wether or not it was a success or a learning experience. Tell us about any projects or music you have coming out. I’ve already did almost 20 for this tape but it’s probably only gonna be 8-10 songs. A good introduction right now I’m just waiting for features, mixes, and other finishing touches. If we stay on schedule it’ll be done in a month or so. What do you want people to know about you? Anything else you want mentioned? I appreciate everyone for listening! Shout out TRAPXLA for helping us get this roll out going, go stream “DIFFERENT” right now! How can people find you and contact you? @adisaoutwest DM me!

[burningchandelier]

Fuck it. You're getting the post because I want to write it.

TL;DR When I was a punk baby Anthony Green was really nice to me when he didn't have to be and it was a pivotal moment for me.

So. In August, 2006, I was thirteen years old and an absolute baby-faced infant child. That said, going to concerts was basically my life and pretty much all I did. Sometimes I had friends with me, sometimes I went by myself.

On August 4, 2006, I went to see Circa Survive at the smaller of the two venues in town with one of my friends. Boise, Idaho is kind of a stop-over place when it comes to tours. If you're driving through the West, you sort of have to stop and play a show there because you need gas money to get to the west coast, so you play there, but at least when I was a teenager, nobody really wanted to.

We often got bands who were just tired. Half-way through the tour, overworked, out of money, missing home they were just drained. If they were good at what they did, you would never guess, but I grew up with artists. I know the look. I saw it as my personal duty to be the god damn cheerleader of the scene. I stood in the front with a smile the size of all outdoors and I screamed my heart out for every band that showed up.

Okay. So. This particular show, was hot. Desert heat, baking in an oven, condensation rolling down the walls inside the venue, hot. Everybody was kind of miserable. The crowd sucked.

The bands played and I did what I always did afterward and went to say thank you and give tips, since I didn't have enough money to actually buy anything at the merch table.

Anthony is back at the table selling merch, because that's what you did.

I was kind of expecting the usual touring band guy routine: thanks for coming small talk, no real interaction, everybody moves along pretty fast and if you're lucky they give you a sticker or something because you put money in the tip jar.

This was NOT THE CASE.

Dude went out of his way to thank us so many times for being there and asked me and my friend to stick around for a minute while other people came over to buy stuff. He was beyond kind and talked about how much it means when you're on stage and you see people who are really into it. We chatted for a significant amount of time about different bands that we were into, local and regional stuff, all kinds of different genres. I had never been treated so nicely by any band guy and it would be years before anyone was this attentive and personal at a show (that I was not also performing at) again.

All this to say, if Anthony Green is your favorite, from my own (albeit limited) experience, you picked a good one.

Are we ready for the post about when I met Anthony Green in 2006?

Are we, as a fandom ready for that? Because I don't think we are.