#but not everybody got to have that experience so sometimes i see artists who are pretty advanced in other areas

[majorbaby]

it takes a conscious effort to break your patterns of consumption and unlearn the notion beauty, interiority, diverse ways of existence aren't exclusive to whiteness or maleness. part of that isn't your fault. certain music is played on the radio, certain shows survive cancellation no matter what, certain people seem to be able to commit the worst possible acts against other human beings and are excused on account of their creative genius. others are selectively punished, with good reason sure, but still, selectively.

now more than ever it's easier to immerse yourself in art made by people outside of the mainstream. reading lists, free resources, playlists... all this stuff is more accessible than ever, but you've got to make an effort to give it a try. it's black history month, the recs are pouring in, go have a look. or take a chance on something absolutely no one has recommended anywhere and if you find something you like, rec it to someone else because the likelihood is they haven't heard of it.

tracy chapman's "fast car" is one of eleven songs that appears on her self-titled debut album. can you name the second hit single from it? if you're american and you fell anywhere left of center as of the 2016 election, it should be on the tip of your tongue if you were engaged in your country's politics at the time, regardless of your level of actual investment in the system. if not, the next time you're doing a task you need both hands with, washing the dishes, having dinner, doing your makeup, put that album on.

there's a post with over 100K notes on here that i see all the time of bruce springsteen and clarence clemons kissing. there's a part of that that is immediately meaningful to many if you're lgbtq, and a part that is harder for non-black lgbtq people to feel the weight of. but it is worth trying to do and was part of the reason why they kissed so often in the first place. clarence clemons was from norfolk, virginia. he released multiple albums outside of his work with the e street band. they may not be for you, but give them a try.

give enough music, or movies, or books that aren't a part of the approved canon a try, and there's no way you won't find something you don't feel as passionate about as you do about springsteen, siken, the beatles, what have you.

james baldwin was a prolific artist. see if you can't find something of his you like more than giovanni's room.

immerse yourself in ringo sheena, who mitski cites as one of her influences.

if you have difficulty paying attention to music you don't recognize, (i get it) make a playlist that alternates tracks you know and love with brand new tracks. start small. 5 faves of all time, 5 you're going to try out. you won't like everything, but you might find yourself looking forward to 6 songs instead of 5 eventually.

for movies, pick an actor whose performance you loved in something and explore their work. last year i picked whoopi goldberg, also a prolific artist, with a vast body of work that's pretty accessible as a result of her constant, intentional effort.

if you're an artist yourself, you can only stand to improve by getting to know your fellow artists better. so expand your notion of what art is. you can do it for free in lots of cases, and you're spending that time listening to music or reading or watching movies or series anyway, what have you got to lose?

anti-racism sometimes means engaging in real-world narratives of pain endured by brown and black people. that pain permeates much of our art, but we're just as three-dimensional as everybody else, and every aspect of our experiences come through in our work. you know that already, because what else is happening when you indulge in various genres. for everything you love or enjoy, there's a brown or black person who's doing something along those lines, in many cases, those genres wouldn't exist in their current form without the influence of our communities, some more than others, depending on where you're from. you can actually keep one foot inside your comfort zone and dip your toe into something else. that choice is both a joy and a luxury.

[alwayscryingoverdannyb]

for the tea questions! 1, 4, 11, 15 and 21 - i'm nosy :)

1 How did you come to choose your current profession or lifestyle? profession was an accident. I was a receptionist, then I did backoffice and then I got offered a junior consultant position and seeing as I was overall pretty much fucked I didn't give a damn and said "why not." and then I had a good boss and it made it feel worthwhile to try to get better at it. somewhere along the way the job started to be fun and gave me sense of accomplishment and here I am, a senior consultant :)) as for lifestyle - bruh a ton of therapy. I stopped trying to "fix" things about me I didn't like and leaned into adjusting my life to suit who I actually am. (I'm a 20-80 sunshine-grump mix with extremely low social batteries and fierce need for personal space and time.)

4 Do you have any habits or quirks that others find unique or strange? I actually asked my best friend bc I needed someone else's perspective :D bc how would I know it's strange to other people when it's normal to me? And she said the following: - when I'm really happy about something, I do a small but whole-body wiggle of joy, apparently - I have very specific requirements for temperature regulation (I'm too hot quite often and feel warmer than everybody else 100% of the time. I also takes way longer to feel cold than most people) - I have thick, heavy hair and I put it up in a bun in a very specific way and apparently to other people it's so fast it looks like a ninja trick

11 Do you have any coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety or fear? yes, I've developed some over the years. when I can't do anything about the situation, I try to distract myself and shift my focus to something else (book/podcast... ideally nothing to do with our reality), I also isolate myself (I rarely want consoling or a pep talk) and go to sleep. and then my brain resets overnight and it's always better in the morning. lots of it has to do simply with life experience - I often say to myself "shut up nerd you always think this and it's literally never that bad." so again. therapy helped.

15 What kind of music do you listen to, if any? there's a reasonably wide range of genres I listen to but I tend to hyper focus on a small selection of artists/songs for long periods of time. like, abt every 2-3 years I have an "eminem month" and then I don't listen to him for a couple years, you know what I mean? but if I go the other way around, I'd say I //don't// listen to anything harder than linkin park, no house, edm, dnb, ska.. and I don't really know the contemporary pop either - no ed sheeran, no taylor, no sabrina carpenter for me. no shade, it just doesn't speak to me. and yes, sometimes it makes me feel like I live under a rock. but that rock is called oasis and I like it.

21 Is there someone who has significantly influenced your life? I'm gonna leave my mom out of this bc that's an obvious answer (and would be like 15k words) but first people to come to mind are two of the bosses that I've had at this job. Possibly first positive/healthy male authority figures I've ever had - them showing trust in me and my professional competence has truly been life changing and confidence building. Also being told "I like you so much as a friend!" by someome who (in my dumb head) only tolerated me, has been a paradigm shift. I think about that moment every time my brain is telling me people must, obviously, hate me.

thank you for asking! I had a lot of fun thinking about these ^_^

[shefanispeculator]

Starwood Rehearsals, a 10,000-square-foot turnkey space that opened in June 2022, offers a blank canvas for creative artists and their teams to bring their brightest ideas to life before kicking off their headlining tours. The massive venue is located outside of Nashville, Tennessee.

Schirmer spoke about the Starwood’s thoughtful design, offering vast space and an intentional blank slate for artists “to create an environment for people that is open to their imagination,” he said. Artists like Ballerini and Shelton (who used the rehearsal venue to create a virtual concert experience during the pandemic) can bring their shows from a visual conception to a true performance with full run-through rehearsals, working out any snags or technical difficulties before reaching their live audiences.

Photo: PRG

Photo: PRG

“I think having been on both sides of it as a music-loving fan who goes to shows, and somebody who's worked in this industry for 30 years now, I think the big surprise — and it has always been when I bring my family out to shows, and they stay after the show ends to see what happens — the big surprise is just how much work goes into, and how much work and activity goes into putting these shows in every day,” Schirmer said, when asked what most fans might be surprised to learn about tour prep. “It's possible that the average concertgoer doesn't understand that we come (to the venue) first thing that morning. We set up that show and it's ready by the time they come in, and then we do the show and it ends and we tear it down, we put it in trucks and we go do the same thing the next day. I think sometimes that gets overlooked. So, it's definitely a big surprise when they understand that something like Rihanna may have 200 employees on that tour and there's 53 trucks and there's 7, 10, 12 buses, and there's all these people that go along with it. I think that's a big surprise for everybody when and if they get a chance to see that, how much work actually goes into it.

Photo: PRG

Schirmer also emphasized that the Starwood Rehearsals space is designed to be private, so as not to allow for distractions when the artists and their teams are working, and to not give away any of the unique elements of the show.

Photo: PRG

Starwood: Paying Tribute To Local History While Looking Ahead To The Future

Located outside of a major city so rich in music history, the cutting-edge rehearsal space pays homage to a since-closed iconic outdoor music venue. The Starwood Amphitheater was a renowned venue located just a few miles from the newly-opened rehearsal building. Preceding Downtown Nashville’s Ascend Amphitheater and Franklin’s FirstBank Amphitheater, the Starwood Amphitheater hosted tons of legendary artists in the two decades it served local concertgoers, between 1986 and 2006.

“It's a big part of the heritage, culture and community of Nashville,” Schirmer said of the former venue. “You got to kind of think about how you move into the future. But when it left, it left a big hole in the area. …So, we really wanted to pay homage to the fact that this community grew around this particular venue, and we think that means something to the culture of Nashville and being central to the United States and such.

Schirmer spoke about the Starwood’s thoughtful design, offering vast space and an intentional blank slate for artists “to create an environment for people that is open to their imagination,” he said. Artists like Ballerini and Shelton (who used the rehearsal venue to create a virtual concert experience during the pandemic) can bring their shows from a visual conception to a true performance with full run-through rehearsals, working out any snags or technical difficulties before reaching their live audiences

[nettchan02]

Animals

anthropomorphism

Fairy tale

Storytelling

Narrative

I had a chance to research the automorphism. It seems like it reflects how rehumanised the animals were. I've got it. Shawn disturbs us, and I felt I was the kind of person creating a story for the animals. If I could bring an example, I usually see so many scrolls around the university. I imagined the squirrels. Was each of them picked their head on me and I met they literally tried telling me a story about, like, what are they doing, or they're interested about to know me, or they just wanted to be saying hi to me when I was walking around, or they're interested when I thought of grabbed them when I was seeing them. They are eating. I usually search. Sometimes, I watch how many classmates or artists turned animals into humanisation. The anime also turns animals into human styles. If I could bring an example, there is the B star. There is the bastard heavy metal. It's humanising the animals, like creating a human body, having abs and everything. It's way too humanising. I also got a chance to see each of the oil panes on a modern uh galleries was totally humanising the animals into something I also could pick the example of Winnie the Pooh was also a little bit humanised, or maybe bitcher spots is uh animals got little bit humanised with the child fantasy way, just like we need to put a child fantasy away. They got a humanist, but they might be talking wrongly because I don't know anything specific about humanizing. What will it be? Everybody's thinking, what exactly did it mean? Do you have any particular ideas on what humanizing is?

In the lesson, I saved the lecturer's and the class's perspectives in a document, where my lecturer presented facts and his opinions of anthropomorphism. I personally find that anthropomorphism is a long journey to see in my visual way the meaning of anamorphism. It's like surreal images presenting Alice and Wonderland.

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1dqzQytBbDvyEYucgrhFNLy8XMpyC3WlZVVC-CzV8FQQ/edit#slide=id.p20

From our discussion with the group, I had a chance to research and mention, uh. The artist who had created it had been writing, and I feel it might also illustrate the plague. Dogs The water ships down these two creations, which are about like the animals living there. Richard Adams's Plague Dogs is about the stories of 2. dogs that had been run away from the shelters because they got experimented on. It's pretty upsetting. How were the dogs treated? It was unfortunate because The dogs don't deserve this kind of treatment, and we could see insights from a dog's perspective. It's a bit tricky because we cannot really learn about animals. Minds or understanding all the animals wanted to tell us a person. Think is giving me so many questions about the theories of the dolphins about the 20PERCENTAGE of brain cells.

It's like smartness, like questioning an animal's brains about how many percentages it could have a dolphin or how many percentages it could have an animal. It makes me question whether an animal could have more like a percentage in their mind. The other creation is the watershed down. It was that kind of animation, Just like the dog's one. It's supposed to be presented on a kid's TV series. I heard this TV series was banned from the kids' channel because it's shoving in a grotesque way of living. The dogs and the rabbits were being treated poorly and experimented on. They wanted to be much more presentable, like running away and wanted to be living. It's like shoving different alterations, like, for example, Peter rabbits when the rabbits wanted to live, eat, and feed themselves because they have to live by something. So they need to eat something to be alive. It's. It's similar to when you go on a safari and can see that. How was this going from the animals? So this small animal, the frogs eating plants, and that plant eater got eaten by a frog, and the frog got eaten by a bird, and the bird got eaten by a lion? So these rabbits don't find their way out of the living. It's pretty sad because even my tutor mentioned when he was watching as a kid, he was crying, and this was. Lifestyles were shown in the plot. It's obviously not like Peter Rabbit, so I've had funny actions, and everything is amusing for the animals. It was like this is the come. Of the way he was in reality, The rabbit has to be run away from the humans and has to be run away from dogs, has to be ended up to be got entrapped and has to be found all racing high. This is like showing an actual perspective, or it's not the camera we put inside a rabbit hole, and we sing inside how a rabbit was acting. It could be questionable why we are humanizing the animals, but this is a perspective that talks of the animals personally, like this house, where we are inside our minds. We put a camera inside those rabbit holes and sang how a rabbit's life was going. We sing the dark sides of the rabbit's life.

The platonic relationship or the physical relationships with an animal how worse it could be and how many taboo gonna be breaking boundaries between the animals and the humans and being turning to like Tel joke or exhausting time like experimenting this love feeling or like letting the animal or letting yourself to turn into some illegal thing to do with the animals¿

[kyrodo]

Sometimes people want some lore in their life and they get way more than they bargained for. I used to listen to Red's stories about marching band and boy scouts and soccer from his younger days. I used to envy him strongly for it. I always felt like my life was lacking in meaningful experiences and getting together with Red helped me make up for it. There are still the days I spent on the Redwall forums that still had a strong impact on me. But before that all I was doing was looking for ways to waste time. Day in day out school homework gaming. That is all my childhood had really and my social life then was not as involved as I would have liked. I didn't keep friends that stuck around anyway and that in mind made it less meaningful.

So I was highly engaged by Red's stories wishing I had been there to share it with him. My existence in comparison felt supplemental at best. And I grew up to do the same as I always have, except it's work instead of school.

Gaming became less and less valuable to me, and I wanted to spend more time around people, like I did when Red brought me to our first fur meets and cons. Cause that gave me energy, that made me extremely happy. And I was stuck looking back wondering if I would ever feel that way again. Vrchat solved a lot of that problem. Irl I never really go anywhere unless Red is there with me, both as an expectation and because he drives me around, and his availability and his energy are both extremely limited.

But on vrchat I don't have to worry about such things. I can hold my own even without Red there and make meaningful connections. Connections where I'm not the person everybody loves to hate like I was with you.

I'm the person everybody loves instead. I'm the cat that everybody adores. I calm people down like Shine, Choskey, and Lupy, people with phantom sense universally seem to enjoy my pettings, people get charmed by the noises I make or think my avatar looks nice. And it goes in direct opposition against everything I suffered in the past that only a select few ever even hear about. I'm the unity expert, I'm the artist, I'm so much to people now when all I was before was somebody to lie to and hurt.

There are definitely times in life you'll wish karma would do its job, but I stopped caring. In the end, in our dynamic I'm not the one that does awful things to people, it was you, and I can live with that. Why you always make decisions to make a bad situation worse, that's for you to explain to people not me. Every cheap move you could have possibly made and I was just along for the ride. All just to be able to post about what I was going through with you. I didn't make all the best moves with you, but you made a deliberate effort to make the worst ones.

Thanks to you though the next time someone tries to be selective about what they acknowledge from me, the next time someone tries to manipulate me, I would crush them.

And I just find it silly, all these attempts to get me to perform angry circus tricks for you and you're the one who Does The Thing. This is the difference between trash culture and an honest person. There is such a huge gap between us when it comes to what we do when we're upset with someone and I am more than happy to point it out to you. You got to comfortable watching shows that normalize people being an absolute problem to society that just can't fucking help yourself.

I was easier to make fun of when you thought I was just someone who faps to furry shota. There are worse believe me, there are much worse people out there and you're inside one.

Like I said, nothing is ever as it seems. Nothing is ever as clearcut as you want it to be. The world doesn't work that way. If you never see the full story about someone you will always be making the same old fucking mistakes with people.

Once upon a time I used to be curious what your story was. I've lost interest. I'm not interested in people I can't get a single word in with without them randomly deciding to give up on me. I'm not interested in people who repost impatient gengar after I've told them I'm waiting for ADHD Red to fix my console who's already overworked at work to fix my fucking console.

I'm not interested in people who keep making assumptions when they don't get what they want right away because they are fucking stupid. I really shouldn't have to provide video evidence every fucking little thing you just don't fucking get cause you're only a visual learner.

You turned something this small and simple completely out of proportion and I don't feel sorry for you at all. If you want to ask questions then start asking the right ones. You wrote this tragedy. You wrote it cause you can't trust a single word from anybody you don't know. No matter how basic the interaction anxiety be like, no everything anybody says that isn't me is fucking lying. You got what you deserved.

If you wanted to live in the shittiest horror plot ever written you found one. The writers seriously had no idea what the fuck they were doing. It's that classic comedic horror where everything everyone thought they knew at the start was exactly what they thought but the only one keeping track is everyone's target. And you know what I prefer pretty boys over fat ones anyway so let's move on. I've got common allergies that are very hard to avoid, I'm not meeting specifications any time soon.

I always wanted someone to perpetually rage against while I'm bored at work. And after what I went through I hardly think pressing the right buttons is a pressing concern.

[xtruss]

An Illustration Shows Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden Racing with the Aid of Walkers. Art By Barry Blitt

Barry Blitt’s “The Race For Office”! The Artist Discusses Hernias, Walkers, and the Joys of Old Age.

— By Françoise Mouly | September 25, 2023

Is the U.S.—long thought to be the land of new beginnings—in danger of becoming a sclerotic gerontocracy? “In a declining society, the images of an aging leadership can come to embody a general sense of withering and decay,” David Remnick writes in the Comment for the October 2, 2023, issue. “A civic nightmare becomes the caricaturist’s dream.” For the issue’s cover, the cartoonist Barry Blitt portrays the irony and absurdity of the advanced-age politicians currently vying for our top offices. Blitt, who, at sixty-five, is a qualified member of the past-their-prime cohort, also drew from his own experience. As a fellow old duffer (I’m nearly three years older than he is), I called him for a kvetch fest and was rewarded with talk of borrowed walkers, missing teeth, lost hair, and some new belly buttons.

So, what’s up, as the kids say? Is it the knee today or is it the digestion?

Right. I’m sure the readers would love to know what’s ailing me. The knees are both fine, and the digestion is top-notch, thanks for asking. But I think you’ll be thrilled to hear that I recently had five hernias taken care of in one day. When I went in, they thought it was going to be two or three, but afterward the doc couldn’t wait to tell me he found five of them. As I regained consciousness, he was excitedly showing me a diagram of what he’d done.

[Laughs.] That was a good day for hernias.

Well, yes, a good day for a hernia doctor to add to his war stories. It’s not like it used to be, where they’d have to cut you wide open. They do it laparoscopically—I think they go in through your belly button. In any case, now I’ve got some new, extra belly buttons. [Laughs.] Also, it was supposed to be an outpatient procedure, but they kept me overnight—I was a bit of a mess afterward. (Is this really going to be part of the interview? I’d rather talk about bitcoin.) But anyway, this was all a couple of months ago, I’m feeling much better now.

I’m so glad I asked. You wouldn’t have told me otherwise.

I was honestly telling everybody, because it seemed like some kind of record. But then I met someone a couple of weeks ago, a woman at a dinner party, who wasn’t impressed at all. She told me she’d once had seven done in one day! And she wasn’t even old, though it likely happened to her because she had delivered three children.

So not the cause for yours, obviously. What did you do to deserve so many hernias? Were you lifting art work?

No, not art work, but for a while, I was playing gigs in New York City and carrying my electric piano and an amp around. Like an idiot, I used to schlep them on and off of Metro-North trains and into taxis, because I was nervous about driving into town. So I’m sure that’s where I got a few of them.

I knew it had to be for the sake of art.

This wasn’t art, but, yes, it was for the sake of fun.

So other than hernias . . .

Right, what else? I’ve got a lot less hair than I had at the beginning of the pandemic. If you’re going to lose your hair, you want to do it gradually over time, so people see you every day and they get to take it in stride.

[Laughs.] But how would anyone know, since you’re always wearing a hat?

Beware of the times you can’t wear a hat—that’s my motto. But everything else is sort of all right. I mean, I’m missing some teeth, too. [Laughs.] I am missing five teeth. Or maybe it’s six. I’ll do a count after we talk. Only one is conspicuous, in the front. I’ve got to do something about that one.

Why are you losing so many teeth? You just wake up and they fall to the floor?

No, no. I don’t know if you’ve had any root canals, but root canals don’t last forever. Sometimes the shell of the root cracks and gets infected, and they have to pull the tooth. So I’ve had a bunch of those. I have “Montreal teeth.” That’s what they call it. We didn’t have fluoride in our water until much later than most places.

Wow!

Although, it doesn’t seem to be affecting any of my friends or my brother or anybody else I know from Montreal—I’ve just got terrible teeth.

[Laughs.] My dentist is nice and always tells me there’s also a genetic component.

Maybe, but my parents have way more teeth than I do. Actually, I remember being quite young and looking at the gaps between my great-grandfather’s teeth. And now I am my own great-grandfather in that way.

[Laughs.] Are there any other ways that you feel like you’re your own great-grandfather?

Well, my mother has a fancy walker, and I take it for a spin when I’m in Montreal. I have walked around the house with it, you know, preparing myself for the inevitable. It’s just a matter of time. But besides the teeth, the hair, the hernias, and probably a couple of other things, I’m surprisingly fine.

[haemey]

As a musician - who do you make art for? Obviously, when your grades depend on it, it's easy to focus on your teachers and peers. But really, realistically, who is your art for? Who do you draw for? Who's your target audience?

What do you think your target audience thinks of you? Really, I adore your style. It's so shape-y and expressive. I don't see the mistakes you make.

Here's another thing - skill and knowledge don't always progress at the same rate. If your skill surpasses your knowledge, you get cocky. That's why so many beginners seem to be so convinced they're the best. Because they don't have the knowledge to see what they need to work on.

If you knowledge surpasses your skill, all you see are the mistakes you make. That's why so many advanced stidents and even professionals have such low self-esteem.

Being able to see the mistakes you make means you already have the knowledge to fix them. Now you just need to find out which skill to develop to do so.

In my experience, as a professional musician, stagnation, or even "loss of skill," usually comes right before a sudden jump in skill. It's like a resistance you need to push through. It's you brain trying to learn and understand what it needs to do. Keep at it and it will click. Not all progress is linear, sometimes you need to take a step back to be able to leap. And not everybody progresses at the same rate.

I've seen people who, over the course of whole semesters, if not years, barely got better. And then, suddenly, the got it. They understood the Thing. They found a new method that worked. They found where the problem lay. And *boom* in a matter of a few weeks, they improved exponentially.

I've seen people (and I'm included in this group) who started out in pole position and progressed at amazing rates - only to drop off and slow to a crawl later.

At one point, where I felt super stuck in my technique, where I saw how good everyone else was and how inferior my skill level seemed to be compared to what it "needed" to be, my teacher told me I really didn’t need lessons anymore becauwe I was already so extremely good. I don't know if he was lying to me or if he truly thought that way, but it felt awful. I wanted to learn and he wouldn’t teach.

I changed teachers and immediately, my skill progression resumed. I am now at a level where even people who have nothing to gain from kissing up to me praise my skill.

After eleven years of studying at uni and three Master's degrees. It took so long. I had so many setbacks. But I got here.

And still I get rejected from jobs and competitions, but such is life in an artistic field. It's something you need to learn to deal with. If you have character, if you have something that makes you unique and recognisable (and trust me, your art style is unique and recogognisable), that means you have something that makes you different. And if you are different in any way, there are things about you or your product that will not be everyone's cup of tea. There will be people who will activeky dislike what you do. A jury member at a competition called me "controversial" (whatever that means), but she said that this is what makes people interesting. This is what gives artists like us an edge. This is what you will get hired for.

Don't worry. If you want to improve, you will. Not always quickly. But you will. Not everyone will like what you do, but that's a good thing. It means you're individual enough to stand out.

And trust me, you do stand out.

The issue I’m having right now with my art and school in general is that I’m just so woefully mediocre. Like..I’m good enough that when I ask my teachers for help they don’t know what to say, or just say keep doing what I’m doing, or like they don’t want to critique me even though I keep asking for it, but I’m also not good enough that people take note of me. Like no one is pulling me aside and telling me they can help with my portfolio, or that they have extra resources. Always “pretty good” but never eve “excellent” or “exceptional.” I’m not blind, I can see the mistakes on my art, and I know they can see it too.

And I get I need to be the one to seek it out, but it’s disheartening when people around you just have the potential that you currently don’t and get noticed for it. I guess I just need to keep drawing but I feel like I’m running out of time. I’m trying really hard. There’s not enough time in the day for me to be doing more. I just want to be successful, but it’s coming so slowly to me and I’m afraid by the time I’m done with school I won’t have much of anything to show for it

[dontdoititsscary]

All the reasons not to try

The Re-Learners lament

(No one needs to read this but me)

I fully understand why some folks who have drawn forever and then develop an interest in developing formal skill dabble their toes in learning and then say ‘fuck this’ and either give right up and go back to old habits (been me a couple times) or burn hot and bright spamming development until they burn out and decide to move on from art entirely(Also been me). 

It mostly feels like the deck is stacked against you - there’s too much information, there’s too many competitive mindsets, there’s too much encouragement that feels hollow and at every step of the way it feels like you have to defend yourself against the question of both ‘why are you not better?’ and ‘why are you not satisfied?’It comes from everywhere. 

When you’re an amateur and you’re a beginner’s beginner, people want to help because it feels good to help and you’re easy to help. People engage with your work because you are an underdog of underdogs. You deserve that help and attention of course. It is a hard thing to truly know nothing and be willing to look to others for assistance. It’s a pretty big trust fall.

When you’re an amateur, but pro in your skills, other amateurs and pros want to help you because you’re also easy to help. For pros- it becomes talking shop with a peer and is probably pretty fun- you’re tackling the high level problems of someone who mostly got it figured out. Other amateurs find you hella aspirational and if they are the kind of peers that are trying to work the engagement numbers (or honestly if they are the elitist type, that kind is less common but definitely exists)- you become the only kind of fellow amateur who is worth it to hitch a wagon to. After all- if we’re going hard on our #grind in the attention economy- you’d ideally want to be friends with, critique and spend your time with artists of your caliber or better - either in skills or engagement.

But when you’re in the middle - when you can do X kinda well, but y needs work - or when you have cool ideas or one skill you’re decent at- your work is publicly flawed and has the nerve to aspire to be better. It looks awkward because it is representative of an incomplete knowledge base and synthesis of skills. Your mistakes look obvious to anyone with a trained eye - even other amateurs. 

Your mistakes look so obvious that it almost looks like you defiantly ignored the right way to do things. People assume you knew how to do things, but your mistakes are 1)laziness, 2) arrogance  3) lack of willingness to improve. Sometimes people get weirdly hostile when critiquing you - thinking it’s their job to shake you out of the complacency they assumed led to your partial success. In a weird sense - you lose the benefit of the doubt.

No one wants to see the lag in between when someone starts to realize the right way to do something and when they are actually capable of it. People don’t know how to help you out of that pit, so they handwave you and tell you you’ll figure it out yourself or they lecture you on mindset and the importance of practice. After all- if you knew better, you’d be better. And if you’re not better, it’s because you’re not working hard/smart enough. Your every mistake is evidence of this. People communicate this all the time without meaning to. 

To occupy the middle spot is to feel both insecure in your skill because there are obvious gaps and yet fiercely defensive of it because people make all kinds of weird assumptions for why you’re not already there yet. Your work is not charmingly ugly. It’s lazy, it’s purposefully misdirected - it’s a sign of your inability to prioritize. It becomes easy to retreat backwards when you feel that pressure at the middle and stick to only what you can already pull off - or abandon the whole thing altogether. 

You push and you grind and everybody goes ‘woah chill, remember balance, duh everyone knows you’ll burn out’. You experiment and everybody goes ‘woah chill your work lacks x or y, are you sure you’re studying enough to try this? Really sure?’ Whatever you’re doing feels wrong. And cause you’re questioned no matter what, you doubt every single choice you make. Which is hell - because if you’re a self taught amateur- part of your job is curating a complete art education- deciding not just what skills to work on, but when and how. Not just all that but learning how to accurately assess your own weaknesses. You learn to distrust your skill, your taste and your closeness to “better”

I went to an in-person art class. The assignment was to draw a cast of an ear, as accurately as possible - nailing the right proportions, shape and eventually value. Before we moved onto any rendering, the teacher wanted to check our proportions. He said to me - ‘do you know most of this was pretty close to dead on?.’ And of course, when he checked how tall I had made the cast itself, he looked at where I made my first mark to determine the bottom and then where I made my second mark to determine the bottom. The first time I made the mark - I had it in the right place. Then I second guessed it and made the cast too short. He asked why I second guessed my proportion. It’s because I assumed I was wrong.

In my second attempt, my proportions were worse. He said that happens sometimes. I was right, then I convinced myself I was wrong, then I became wrong and became wronger. New information made me worse before it made me better. That is what it feels like to be an amateur in the awkward stages of learning. You were a little right at something, but then you blinked and you’re wrong. Then you stay wrong because everyone saw your mistake and assumed that you meant it. It feels like everyone is saying you’re wrong, then you say it to yourself. You become encouragement proof. You circle the drain. You retreat into old habits or you fade away. 

[cuntess-carmilla]

The way "alt" is done nowdays is so exasperating. People (rightfully) talk about how dark academia and cottagecore and those trends that imo aren't "alt" but are distinctive aesthetics are more in the business of looking like they're someone who reads a lot or someone who bakes and lives in the countryside respectively instead of putting any emphasis on actually reading a lot of learning substainability or homekeeping.

And the same happens with the way alt anything is being done lately and that's why so many people get so disproportionately angry and defensive when someone who's actually into a subCULTURE corrects them, especially if that person doesn't even "look" the part as much as their fake asses do.

No interest in actual countercultural politics, ideology, sentiment, praxis or even artistic expression or practice.

They want to look like they're someone who's into unfathomably obscure non-palatable music and ideas, without having to actually put any effort into cultivating their musical knowledge or identity. They want the whole VISUAL package immediately, but nothing else (hint: that's why you get called posers).

Reminds me a lot of this:

[Image description: TikTok stitch in which the first video shows user @/dormence with text printed in front of them that reads "Did you know that there's no "correct" way to dress for a goth club. The truth is that fashion is about dressing according to what's fashionable. Style is more about being yourself. Tip: Allow yourself to be ok with experimenting and blending your favorite styles until you refine into your own symbol 🖤"

The rest of the video is of user @/awfullysinister speaking to the camera.]

Transcript:

Here's a fun story for everybody. I've been involved in my local goth scene for about 10 years now, I've been going to clubs and shows and events for about 10 years, I've been a DJ in the scene for about 6 years.

A few years ago I got booked for a DJ gig for one of my friends' club nights. I was late, unfortunately. It happens. I got to the venue about 30 minutes after the night started and I looked pretty bad… Worse than usual. I didn't have my hair up, I wasn't dressed nice, I had gym shorts on and a hoodie… I just had all my stuff with me in a bag and was planning on changing in the bathroom.

And there's this guy there that was all dressed up. He's got leather pants with straps, Demonias, he's wearing a black buttoned down tshirt with a fishnet shirt underneath it, his face is full of makeup… He looked like a Chris Motionless wannabe, basically.

And as I'm walking in to walk toward the stage to put my stuff up there, then go to the bathroom to change, the Chris Motionless wannabe stops me. Like, he puts his hand out, like this, like, on my chest, and he looks at me and he goes "Oh, I'm sorry, are you lost?"

And I look at him like a deer in headlights, like… What…? He repeats the question, and I just stare at him and say "I'm DJing tonight…" and he returns the look.

Anyway, I just brush past him and I go do my thing. It was a great night, I had a great crowd to my set, everybody was dressed in all sorts of ways; some people were really dressed up, some people were just wearing a tshirt and jeans, nothing special, but they were all dancing, they were all having fun.

The Chris Motionless wannabe didn't dance ONCE, and for what I saw, it didn't look like he was having fun, it looked like he was just standing around trying to look cool. In fact, at the end of the night, one of my friends told me that a guy that kinda looked like Chris Motionless remarked about how he hated the music and wished it was heavier. I don't know exactly what that means, I'm going to assume that he wanted to hear Metal.

That was about 3 years ago, and I have not seen that guy since. Not at any clubs, not at any shows… It's like he just disappeared, and I expect that I'll probably never see him again.

Anyway, the point is; sometimes the people that keep your local goth scene going, who are dancing the most at your local clubs, and who keep goth DJs like me feeling inspired to continue doing this, and to continue to seek out new music… Sometimes those people are just wearing a tshirt and jeans and aren't all that dressed up.

And, sometimes, the people who're dressed to the nines, who look the part and have a closet full of expensive brand clothing, just stay home all day, on TikTok, pretending to be better than everybody else, with cringey usernames like "goth daddy" and "goth king" and "goth goddess". Sometimes - not always, but sometimes - those are the people I wish I never had to run into in my local scene.

Link to the TikTok

[femsolid]

“We’re in 2019. Female hair is CENSORED everywhere. You don’t see it on TV. You don’t see it in magazines or adverts. There is an injunction of society for women to remain 'soft' and completely hairless. Just like a little girl. I don’t believe that’s a coincidence. Young, skinny, hairless girls have been very popular in the media for years and it makes me wonder. Who's behind it all? Who's perpetuating this message about women looking like adolescent girls? It sometimes feels rather paedophilic. It worries me.” – Camille Alexander. Musician (2019)

“Years ago I did think about getting laser hair removal for my navel hair, but then I realised I'd be paying a couple of hundred pounds just to conform to expectations that I don't even care about– I'd much rather use the money for a holiday or circus lessons! I think that's one of the things which annoys me so much about society and the media's expectation for women to be basically hairless– they're pressuring us to invest serious time and money and endure pain. It's a double standard and it's unfair. Being able to accept your body– hair, scars and all– is freeing. I remember seeing my Aunt Glynis dancing to reggae in the 90s with her armpit hair showing– she looked so confident, happy and free. As a child, I couldn't put my finger on 'why', but I can now. On a practical level, it feels pretty darn good when I consider how much time, money and pain I've saved by accepting my body as it is. I like to think that that memory of my aunt being free and totally comfortable in her own skin is one that I can emulate and pass onto other girls and women. It hasn't always been received well though. At Lambeth County Fair one year, a friend of a friend was seriously freaked out when he saw my armpits. He asked me "what's wrong with you? Why would you do that?!", which was pretty amusing but bewildering. It reminded me there will always be people out there who may react and judge me like that. Thankfully, the opinion of people who think like that means very little to me! For me having hair and not caring is a bit like being part of a secret club. When you notice someone else who is resisting society's expectations and staying hairy you feel solidarity and respect. It's nice to be part of that.” – Isabel (2019)

“As a teenager, I remember trying to stuff myself into a box of what a girl should be like. It always felt uncomfortable; padded bras, shoes that hurt and shaving rash. Running, swimming and climbing have helped me to see the strength and resilience in my body and to love it for what it is. Growing my armpit hair has been a recent experiment and the longer it gets, the more I like it! I like the way it looks & feels. It has given me a new respect for myself. So I say, embrace growth & if it pleases you, let it all grow!” – Jess (2018)

“Shaving, epilating or waxing hurts. I was tired of suffering, trying to adapt to the image of a ‘beautiful young woman’ society is selling us. Everybody told me to shave. As a teenager, it’s a huge subject among girls; where do you shave? What method are you using? It takes so much time and costs so much money (the majority of hair removal products are also not recyclable). All of these reasons coming one after another motivated me to stop shaving. I would often have irritated skin after shaving and being a very sporty person, the sweat and the friction of my clothes would cause pain.The worst thing was having sex on the second day after shaving my vulva. I didn't understand why women would suffer and waste so much time on hiding who they really are. By showing my body hair on stage, I would like to stimulate and change people’s point of view. I’d like to motivate women to make their own choices.”

– Darian Koszinski. Circus artist (2018)

“I stopped shaving completely when I was a teenager because of two instances. The first? I got tired of all the time wasted on maintenance and the discomfort that came with it. The second was when I went on a few multiple week-long backpacking trips; it would have been extremely inconvenient to spend hours ripping my hair out, so I let things grow. Being so close to nature let me dive deeper into and re-examine the relationship with myself and the world, acting as a mirror. In nature, there is wild; it is as beautiful as it is untamed. How could it be anything other than that? I felt so relieved and free when I let it grow out. It felt like being able to breathe. It was incredibly comfortable too. I felt a confidence and boldness returning, like I was replenishing some kind of primal power. I will say that a very pleasant side effect of having armpit hair is its ability to ward off rude people whom I wouldn’t care to interact or associate with anyway. Because the people that care about that sort of thing and make it a point to say how disgusted they are, are precisely the kind of people that I don’t want in my life.”

– Kyotocat (2017)

“At this point in life, I feel that the real question shouldn't be 'why did you let your armpit hair grow?' But actually, 'why did you shave in the first place?' Please celebrate your body! Own who you are and be that! Those who celebrate who and what they are, are creating a much open and safer space for those who are struggling to understand who and what they want to be in life. It might be easier said than done but give it a try. We'll then help create a healthier and understanding society with less bullshit than there already is...”

– Alex Wellburn (2017)

“I never stopped shaving because I never started. I do remember my mother shaving when I was younger and I thought that was pretty unnecessary since she was a strict muslim. I later realised it's a thing women do to look more desirable to men. It really irritated me that the people who reacted negatively to my natural armpit hair were men. Like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. It really gets on my tits. This is just one more reason that I don't shave it off. It belongs to me and I don't make noise about the "ugly"; hair on men which are sometimes pretty painful in the eye... But you've got to get over it and don't let these idiots get under it. I would recommend growing it to any women.”

– Ayan Mohamed. Graduate architecture student (2014)

Natural Beauty Photoshoot

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm so full. I'm so happy. This is everything that I wanted for the tannies. It's so amazing. Never mind its 144p and I'm still learning the lyrics. I had such a blast! Jimin was so cute. Yoongi was so funny and cute and sexy and awesome and just,,, just,,, JUST!!! Couldn't stop grinning while watching their wlive and burst out laughing as Yoongi ended it so abruptly. lol Love you, Yoongi. Love them. Who's doing it like them? Have you seen the Tiffany crowd? Have you seen the concert crowd?!!?

***

It’s a different sort of high being a fan of BTS, isn’t it?

It’s a different sort of joy seeing them be their remarkable, awe-inspiring and goofy selves. It’s so beautiful to see the love they so clearly have for each other. It feels a little too intimate sometimes, and in my experience, this is a feeling that’s unique to BTS. This group is very special. What they’ve got feels genuine because it is.

Jimin was vibing hard. Yoongi’s performance felt electric from start to finish. They spent time together, [*]riding to the venue and leaving afterwards. Its clear as day that Yoongi is happy Jimin is with him, and Jimin wears the respect and love for his hyung on his face. It’s just so easy with them.

And can I just mention Yoongi’s energy during tonight’s concert?

The way he attacked HUH?!

AGUST D???

Christ.

It’s like he gets stronger, wilder, every concert… lol, like I suspected, he’s already a bit too good at this. I’m gonna need him to calm down before the Cali dates. And now that we know we’re getting Tony Montana at a future date, I think we’re all going to really learn to pace ourselves. This could get crazy before long.

Because we’re only three days in and I’m already hanging on by a thread.

What he’s doing to me with these performances cannot be written on the internet.

He fucks me up so bad y’all.

Let me go on a short tangent here:

STD is an acronym that’s known in Korea to mean what you think it means. Everybody knows it. Language isn’t a barrier in this case. When people in Korea hear “STD”? They know what it’s referring to.

Now, what do you think about the way Yoongi introduced his alternate persona: AGUST D in 2016? The way he enunciates that phrase is sickening and intentional. The very mention of his name in the mouths of his detractors is a sickness they get from him fucking them. Or ‘fat dicking’ them, to quote Yoongi. And on that song he spits one of the sickest bars of his entire career. You’re guaranteed to be fucked just by hearing it. I mean just in his name there’s already triple entendres.

It’s mad.

Yoongi has a very peculiar energy. It’s very catlike, but also serpentine and there’s an undercurrent of barely restrained lunacy deep beneath the surface. Hobi is actually more crude than Yoongi in speech and flow, but Yoongi can be so cruel. And that quality, one he doesn’t shy from turning on himself too, coupled with his pragmatic and caustic delivery… lord. He sets himself apart from every other artist alive. Nobody in BTS cuts to the bullshit faster than Yoongi - he’s lived through the consequences of deluding yourself that you’re okay when you’re not. He’s a man who is constantly examining himself, checking his worst tendencies, but never compromising on what he truly believes.

Ugh.

Times like tonight, I look at BTS and feel so much calm. They are so competent, and I’m certain whatever they make, it will be very good. Yoongi has proven that so far with this tour. Yoongi’s D-DAY concert tour is easily the best solo concerts I’ve been to this decade, and I haven’t even attended one yet. But it’s easily the best one. Easily. And I’ve been to a lot (actually been to them), especially in the last 12 months.

That crowd Jimin pulled for the Tiffany’s event is no joke. We’re now at the point where Western celerities know they’re not the main popularity driver if Jimin is also involved. They know the crowds are there for Jimin. And when he eventually showed up, he looked magnificent. Elegant. Polished. Understated. One of these days I want to see Jimin bejewelled and dressed in all primary colours - something more vibrant and queer. But that Tiffany’s event went for traditional and understated and that’s okay. It worked, because Jimin can work anything.

**

Edit [*]: Typo correction. Should include "after", meaning after arriving at and leaving the concert, Yoongi and Jimin spent time together. They arrived separately and left together, spent time together also before and after.

[anonymous-astronaut]

Mercs finding all their weapons replaced with bubble guns?

I took some artistic liberties with this one

Scout:

He’s SUPER into it, are you kidding it’s like a water balloon fight but with BUBBLES! Scout is like one of those dogs that runs back and forth at the speed of fucking light trying to catch them in his teeth, he pretty much reverts to a fourteen year old boy on a sugar high. He starts making twice as many sound effects as usual, blasting people in the face with his bubble shotgun. It’s the most fun he’s had in a long time.

Soldier

This man is soaring through the sky like a goddamn bubble rocket. He is fuckin flying to the point where he is convinced he himself is a bubble. When he does decide to land and point his launcher at people, heaven help them. That thing can take a man clear off his feet in a a flood of bubbles and launch him into space, and Soldier has no hesitation firing point-blank range either. He takes this just as seriously as any other fight, there is no mercy from his bubbly wrath.

Pyro

This is Pyro’s dream come true. For once, everyone is having just as much fun on the battlefield as they are, and Pyro is beyond delighted. They love sneaking up on people and absolutely showering them in bubbles, plus they can make pretty rainbows if they angle it in the sun right.

Heavy

WHO TOUCHED SASHA?!!? Seriously, if he doesn’t want find out what happened to his real gun fast, there are going to be problems. However, if Sasha is safe and sound, he’ll partake in a little bubble war, why not? At first he thinks it’s a bit childish, but a bubble machine gun…. it’s just too awesome to resist. Soon he’s having a grande old time mowing people down with bubbles.

Demo

Bubble BOMBS??? Omg, Demo is absolutely delighted by the possibilities. He becomes sneakier than a goddamn spy, setting up elaborate traps and suddenly making the whole field into a giant maze booby traps. I like to think he has all sorts of bombs to choose from, from ones that send you flying in a shower of bubbles to ones that fill up a whole hallway in foam. He’s running around giggling like a madman and sometimes accidentally setting off his own bubble mines.

Engie

He isn’t particularly thrilled about it at first. The bubble sentries are pretty cool, but he just feels so separated from the action, it takes all the fun out of it. He’s all pouty about it until Scout or Pyro sneaks up and blasts him, and then it’s game on. He’s takes his bubble shotgun out like “you little fucker” and joins in the mayhem.

Medic

Maybe he distributes bubble fuel instead of heals? Since no one is actually getting injured (unless it’s super intense, you never know with these guys). Idk how his medigun works, but either way I know he ISNT using it. No, Medic has gone FULL FERAL. He’s got his bubble-fied syringe gun out and is “RATATATATA”ing at everyone he sees, including his own teammates. Battle Medic mode engaged. Absolute wild child. Fear for your life

Sniper

How does this even work?? Does he shoot one really powerful bubble at someone? Maybe he can target a guy and trap a bubble around his head?? I’m not sure, but he probably can’t resist the mayhem for long and takes out his smg instead, running out on the field with everybody else for a change. He didn’t get to participate in games like this much as a kid, so getting blasted in the face by bubbles is somehow a fun and healing experience.

Spy

Imagine, if you will, the absolute shittiest little plastic bubble handgun you can possible picture. Cheap dollar-store water pistol lookin fucker. That’s it. That is what this man has to defend himself with. He gets six lil bubbly blasts and then he has to run around pumping it up to try and reload, and it’s fucking hilarious. He would just refuse to participate, but people keep picking on him and his ego is too massive to settle with just letting them get away with it. He ends up getting really into it. Afterwards he acts like it was the worse day of his life and complains about getting soap on his suit, but secretly he thought it was a tiny bit fun.

[cqlfeels]

The idea that nie huaisang is feminine is any way is just so fucking infuriating and so obviously a very Fucked Up projection of (coughchristiancough) western ideals of femininity 🙄 Also the bioessentialism of it all... just say you think he's more Girly (tm) because he's not as tall and large and his brother..... just say you also portray nie mingjue as a one dimensional mindless brute because of these physical traits.... 🙄 These people are so full of shit, and its the same brand of people who look at jin guangyao and just blatantly feminize him because he's "small"????? Also while I'm there, please stop headcanoning *only* the "small and dainty" men as trans, idk what you think you're doing but its just transphobic (trans headcanons are great but sometimes you see cis people who literally are just doing a fetishized gender essentialism and its disgusting)

I don't like to accuse people of anything because a lot of the time they're just not thinking through the implications. But speaking of trends - again, no one in particular, just the overall tendencies I've seen over time - it's very worrying how this fandom treats gender.

Just to begin with, NHS and JGY are average height at best - it's everybody else that's ridiculously tall, and I think it's in part to set cultivators apart as being more imposing than your average guy. Compare the height of female characters to the "small" guys and you'll see no one could reasonably think they're small enough to be girly. (Also um. Height = gender is just objectively a funny idea. Stilettos are now a fundamental part of male fashion because they make you taller!)

Second, there's a marked trend to apply a very specific Western ideal of manhood to characters. Things like delicate fabrics, jewelry, fans, artistic inclinations - none of these are inherently feminine in the context of the vaguely defined Ye Olde China of CQL. These are all things that are appropriate for a gentleman.

That is to say... There isn't a scale that goes from NMJ at the manliest and NHS at the girliest. They are just embodying different, equally acceptable ideals of manhood: the soldier and the gentleman. NHS is an unusual Nie in the same way LJY is an unusual Lan: they don't adhere to the ideals and obligations demanded by their sects. It's got nothing to do with gender. Note that soft-spoken, art-loving, impeccably dressed LXC is considered an outstandingly impressive man.

Of course I wanna make space for people to explore gender within the safety of fiction! I think it's very understandable to project the experiences either you or people you know have! Seeing NHS who clearly doesn't fit in, and relating that to a different way people might not fit in - gender roles - is, I think, a very instinctive reaction.

However, I think we as a fandom - especially Western and white fans - need to take into account that East Asian men are often infantilized or feminized for, you know, not being the size of a tree and built like a brick wall. So to take a story made for a Chinese audience, point to half the cast and go "Twink!" and even single out some as either "Literally A Child Uwu" or "Clearly A Woman" can feel tone-deaf at best, racist at worse. So I do hope the very human trend of pointing at a character and going "I know/am someone like that!!!" is tempered by the knowledge this might be hurtful if not handled with care.

I don't think saying a headcanon is bad and has to die is fair, but I (maybe naively) think if people are made aware of cultural differences they may be misinterpreting, it's possible they'll be able to look past superficial things to headcanon even more characters as trans or gnc, you know? I don't like to think of this as "banning" femme NHS, but as saying "uh, actually nothing is stopping you from headcanoning other characters as femme! NHS isn't the only valid option! Because canonically, NHS is as femme as, idk, Wen Chao!"

(But also. Let characters who are not NMJ be unapologetically manly. I know it doesn't sound revolutionary for white people, but your experiences aren't universal!)

[ladykissingfish]

The Akatsuki’s Reactions To Thunderstorms

Got the inspiration for this because lately we’ve been having a bunch of storms where I live, like back to back ((in fact it’s pouring outside my window as I type this)) so yenno it got me thinking, how would my favorite Band ‘O Killers™️ react to this situation?

Pein (Nagato) and Konan:

Storms of any kind, especially involving rain, are triggering to both of them. They come from a place where, as their friend Yahiko once put it, is “ALWAYS raining; like this whole village is constantly crying”. Rain to them represents pain, and hunger, and suffering. Konan is actually terrified of thunderstorms; one time when Pein was out, there was a storm and Konan, who usually went to Pein for comfort, was beside herself. Kisame found her curled up and shaking on the floor in the hallway (the one place without any widows to see the lightning) and, without asking questions, he laid beside her and put his arms around her, holding her and gently talking to her until the storm had passed. Pein doesn’t have the same physical reaction as Konan; rather, storms tend to intensify the repressed anger that lives in his chest. Every member of the Akatsuki knows to avoid Pein during a storm, because they know it’ll be the time he’s most likely to hand out difficult missions, or yell at somebody about something they’ve done.

Deidara:

Maybe unsurprisingly, the blonde artist loves storms. The bigger the better, the louder and more destructive, the more “artistic”. Storms bring out the competitiveness of Deidara, who always insists that he can match (or top) a clap of thunder with one of his bombs. Loves to see lightning strike things, and has to be stopped from going outside during storms to see this happen up-close. Since they won’t let him outside, he’ll stay with his face pressed up against the window, his expression the same as a child watching fireworks go off in the night sky. Also exponentially prefers night storms to daytime storms, as he claims the booming and shaking helps him to sleep.

Tobi (Obito):

As Tobi, he acts almost as scared of thunderstorms as Konan, although in a decidedly more goofy and exaggerated way. Hiding under the bed or in the closet, clinging to Deidara, making comments about “monsters in the sky coming to eat us!” As Deidara loves storms, he’s often impatient with Tobi and his irrational fears, giving him long lectures on the wild, untamed beauty of nature. As Obito, he actually finds rain and storms to be quite soothing, especially at night. He likes to sit in his room with his mask off, staring out the windows and letting his mind wander. The constant drumming of water hitting the ground relaxes him like nothing else, and he’ll always sleep better during a storm than any other time. The night after a particularly strong storm was the only time that his Senpai came close to seeing him without a mask on, as “Tobi” fell asleep and stayed sleeping very late into the morning, forcing Deidara to come looking for him. He woke up just seconds before his door burst open, just enough time to slide his mask into place, but still.

Sasori:

Doesn’t really care one way or the other about storms, unless he’s traveling in them. There’s been a few times in the past when he’s been on missions with Deidara, the two have been walking along, and a sudden downpour stopped them in their tracks. Seeking shelter during a storm is always a difficulty, especially to two people trying to remain largely incognito, the way the Akatsuki was supposed to do. Also, his young partner really enjoys the rain, and Sasori has to keep an eye on him, to make sure he’s not sneaking out into it and potentially getting sick. If there’s one thing that Sasori does enjoy about storms, it’s the smell of the air after it rains. He’s tried for years to duplicate this smell into a scent that could be put in a candle or incense, but to no avail.

Kisame:

Wind, WATER, danger — what’s not to love?! If he’s able to leave the hideout, Kisame will seek out the nearest body of water, and go swimming. Rainwater tapping the surface of a lake or river makes all the smaller fish come to the top, making it incredibly easy for Kisame to scoop them up in his jaws. The warmth of the water from the sky also mixes with the natural coolness of running water, creating a delightful sensory experience for the half-shark. Sometimes, however, a “cozy” mood will envelope him and he’ll simply desire staying inside, often curling up with a good book or spending time sipping tea and eating snacks with his partner Itachi. And “snacks” is putting it mildly; for some reason stormy weather always awakens a voracious appetite in Kisame, and he can easily put away the entire house’s weekly supply of food in one sitting ((and Kakuzu knows this, hence why he’ll literally put locks on the cabinets if Kisame is home during a storm)).

Kakuzu:

When Kakuzu hears rain, he hears the sound of money flying out the windows. Every single place that the group has ever used for a hideout has been of the absolute bare-minimum construction, which unfortunately allowed for some of the outside elements to get inside; like snow, and heat, and bugs ... and rain. Water damage is a particularly expensive bitch to fix, and Kakuzu is constantly forced to shell out money from the treasury to reinforce the roof, and/or provide rain gear and supplies for those venturing out on missions during storms. And missions carried out during storms alone are horrible, as they generally slow down speed and productivity, meaning longer times until mission completion and a delay in obtaining the goods or people or (most importantly) money that they were sent to retrieve. The only positive thing that Kakuzu can find to say about storms is that the rain helps the fruits and vegetables in the Akatsuki garden grow, which of course saves money on grocery trips.

Zetsu:

LOVES the rain. Storms make him ridiculously happy, and he likes to go outside and stand directly in a downpour, letting the cleansing water soak into his plantlike skin. Like any blossom, however, he has to be on guard against getting TOO much water into his system. Everybody knows not to bother Zetsu during his “meditation” time in a storm, as he will undoubtedly be standing out there in the nude. Storms also pose an interesting challenge to him, food-wise. Most of the small animals that Zetsu likes to prey on hide or burrow themselves during a loud rain-lashing, making them more difficult (but much more rewarding) for Zetsu to find.

Hidan:

Hidan is constantly seeking ways to test and prove the “limits” of his immortality. He’s “died” and come back from pretty much everything one can think of; stabbing, evisceration, decapitation ... but one thing he’s never done is “come back” from being struck full in the heart by a lightning bolt. So whenever a good storm gets going, Hidan will strip naked, wearing only his metal Jashin necklace, and stand in the rain, daring the lightning to hit him. If this had been anyone else, every Akatsuki member would be breaking their neck rushing outside to drag him back in. But with Hidan, everyone is, well, curious. CAN he withstand lightning? IS he truly immortal? Anyone who’s able will gather at the windows or just inside the front door, to watch the spectacle of Hidan screaming obscenities at the sky and taunting nature ... but unfortunately nothing ever happens. Hidan will just end up coming back inside soaked to the skin, and Kakuzu will yell at him for dripping all over the floor. But Hidan will point out that water is better than the blood he usually leaks, which the others whole-heartedly agree with.

Itachi:

When Itachi was younger, storms used to scare the hell out of him. He could go to his mother for comfort, but only if his father wasn’t home. If he WAS, he’d tell Itachi to toughen up and “be a man, son.” He later came to find out that his little brother Sasuke was the same way; at nighttime Itachi would wake up during a storm and feel a small body burrowed next to his, shaking like a leaf. He’d hold his brother and tell him stories until he fell asleep, and in doing so, learned the first valuable lesson of his life; it’s hard to be brave when you’re alone, but infinitely easier when you have to be brave for the sake of someone else. Now, storms always put him in mind of these long-forgotten moments of sibling tenderness, which in turn makes him sad. To combat this he copies his younger brother by seeking out comfort, mostly in the form of Kisame. Sometimes he’ll also go and spend time with Konan, as he discovered that SHE was afraid of storms, as well. Oftentimes he, Kisame and Konan will stay together, taking turns telling stories until the wild weather has passed. Another lesson: it’s easier to be brave, the more people you have around you trying to be brave as well.

[littlemixnet]

Jade Thirlwall on Little Mix babies, learning the art of self-love & her first foray into the world of beauty.

As she releases an astrology-inspired eyeshadow palette with Beauty Bay. “I suppose I've got quite a hectic life – or had quite a hectic life, before lockdown," Jade reflects as we chat on the phone one (surprisingly) chilly end-of-September morning. “But lockdown gave everyone a chance to reflect and think about their priorities – and so I’ve come out of that experience with even more of a drive and more of an ambition to achieve all of the things that I want.” Outside of music? For 28-year-old Jade Thirlwall – one third of record-breaking girl band Little Mix – making moves in the beauty industry sits high on that list of priorities. “Whenever we do videos, I’m always the one that sends mood boards to the makeup artist and I’m like, ‘Ohhh we should try this look and we should do this eye,'" she laughs. So teaming up with Beauty Bay to release a 42-pan eyeshadow palette inspired by her passion for crystals, spirituality and astrology (who knew?) seemed like a natural step. "I knew that together we could create my dream palette, something which my fans can use to create out of this world of lewks.” Speaking from her London apartment, Jade is relaxed, open and oozing with passion – for her life in Little Mix, her personal life and her upcoming beauty ventures alike. And not to mention: very happy the weather is turning, so she can roll-out her autumn-appropriate palette on post-lockdown nights out, pronto. “I’m a Northern winter girl. I like the cold. I like feeling snuggly. Yeah. Summer is not my vibe to be honest.” I love beauty – always have done from a very early age. This is a bit of a throwback, but I did a makeup course at college back in the day, so I’ve always had a love for makeup throughout the years. I think Little Mix have tried every single thing you can think of when it comes to different looks and trends. I think it’s known amongst my fans particularly that I love experimenting with colour. And I love the whole glam of it all and all the different eyeshadows. Every time I do a shoot or a video it’s a chance to do a different look – and I’m very versatile when it comes to that. So yeah, it felt like once me and Beauty Bay started working together, they are known for doing the best palettes, so it seemed right. Over the past couple of years especially, me and the girls have started delving into more of the things that we’re individually passionate about or into whilst working together, and it has been really lovely. We’re obviously really supportive of each other’s ventures, and I suppose it gives the fans more of a chance to see what we’re into ourselves. And it gives people that don’t really know a lot about Little Mix or about us individually, it gives those people a chance to be like oh, actually… so Jade is into this sort of thing and Leigh likes this sort of thing and Perrie is into that and… yeah. It has been lovely, and I suppose the last sort of year and a half has given us all a chance to reflect and think about the things we want to do on our own as well as in a group. I’m at a point now in my life that I’m definitely so comfortable in my own skin. I know exactly what works for me. I’m not afraid to try new things and experiment with colour and stuff like that. I think as someone who loves art and stuff in general as well it just sort of lends itself well. It's an art form to me, makeup, and expressing yourself that way is really amazing. So it felt really right [to collaborate on an eyeshadow palette with Beauty Bay]. I suppose lockdown – it has given everyone a chance to gain a better perspective of all the things that they're into. The best version of myself in terms of makeup is just elevating my natural beauty. I think everyone should do that! I think when I first started out in Little Mix and as a teenager, makeup was worn as a mask to cover who I really was, if that makes sense. And as I’ve got older, I’ve realised that it isn’t a mask; makeup is more of an expression of who you actually are, and it’s not to cover yourself up. It’s to elevate yourself. And so, now, whenever I do a look, I don’t tend to cake it on as much as I used to. I do things that accentuate my features already and don’t try and hide it. I think my go-to makeup on a night out or something is just a classic bronze-y beautiful eye. That’s my go-to because it suits my skin tone and I feel like nobody can go wrong with a lovely golden bronze-y eye. And that’s definitely in the palette. I think this palette was an opportunity to show everyone a bit more about myself that may be they didn’t know – like my love for crystals and healing crystals; my spirituality which is definitely something I’ve become more and more passionate about over the past few years. I needed something that kept me grounded and kept me well, mentally and physically. And so, spirituality became a part of that and I’m obsessed with crystals. My mam is obsessed with crystals and so that was one of the first thoughts when making the palette was incorporating all of that. And so, that’s kind of the original inspiration. I feel like the palette – it was important for me to have something for everyone, because I’m well aware that some people don’t like experimenting too much or some people love having loads of fun. So when I agreed to do this with Beauty Bay, I wanted to make sure it catered to every kind of person and every different skin tone. No matter how much you want to be adventurous or not, it’s all in there. I always have crystals with me wherever I am. Certain ones are catered to certain aspects of your life or what you need in that moment. I’ve labelled a couple of shades in the palette after my favourite ones – tourmaline is my favourite, which wards off any negativity. I think no matter how much people believe in it or not, just from a psychological perspective, for me, it’s all about grounding yourself. I think it’s really important to get rid of any negative energy and constantly keep the positive coming in. I suppose I don’t really have a specific religion so I use that as a means to believe in something greater than me and that works for me. There have definitely been a lot of changes in my life recently. A lot has happened. Obviously me and the girls are a three – two of the girls have just had babies so there's been a lot of change in my life. I’ve met someone, fallen in love, and all of that soppy stuff, so – yeah! It definitely feels like, more than ever, a lot has been happening all at once. But it’s so exciting and as we’ve said before, lockdown gave everyone a chance to reflect and think about their priorities and think about things they really want to focus on. I’ve come out of that experience with even more of a drive and more of an ambition to achieve all of the things that I want to achieve and be there more for my family and friends – and obviously go out more and wear more makeup! 'Cos I’ve spent a year and a half in the flat with nothing on and lounging around so it has been nice to start glamming up again. The other girls are loving being new mums, honestly they’ve taken to it so well. I always knew they’d be great mams, I went to see Leigh last week and met the twins who are so beautiful, they just slept the whole time – but you know what, it was so weird because all I’ve ever known is being round the girls and it being us and just us. And for the first time it's actually dawning on us that they’ve had children – actually seeing them there in front of us, like they’re real; it wasn’t a prop. I feel like because of all the music videos we’ve been doing with them pregnant, I don’t know why but in my head I kind of just didn’t think it was real or like – every time we’d been doing a music video we’d base it around their pregnancies, so every character we’d play in a music video would revolve around them being pregnant as well so it was almost like a fun little act that we were doing. So seeing Leigh and seeing the babies was like, “Oh, they’re here and they’re perfect and you’re a mum now and you’ve got to do this.” But I’m so proud of them and they smashed the pregnancies. They were absolute Queens, working hard – and they had each other which I suppose really helped them. It’s amazing. I am hoping to see Perrie soon and be the best Auntie I can be. I’ve never thought about comparing myself - it’s not me, it’s everybody else. It’s other people around me that try and put that pressure on me, I don’t know if being in a group dynamic has may be meant that I’ve got used to comparison and so it doesn’t effect me as much. Everyone’s in different places in their life and sometimes it’s assumed that I should feel, ‘cos I’m a woman, that I’m behind and I should feel a certain type of way that I’m not at that point in my life yet… But I’m so unbelievably proud of where I am at in my life and what I’ve achieved and my career. I’ve got an amazing boyfriend, I’ve got amazing friends and family, and I’m a businesswoman –why would I feel left out?! But it's interesting… like every interview it gets asked like “Are you feeling broody?”, and I’m like “No, hun! Are you?! Do you want me to ask you if you want to have a child or children?". Like, it’s quite a personal question, isn’t it? So it has felt a bit invasive at times… I think that everyone moves at different paces and I’m happy with mine. If my beauty cabinet was on fire, there are three things I'd save. Obviously I’m going to say the palette because I’ve put far too much work into that to let it burn, so that has got to come with us. I feel so proud looking at it – when I see Jade on top of it and I open it and it’s all shades that I’ve named and it’s all colours that I like – there’s no way I’m letting that go up in flames. So that’s coming with us. Then I’d say maybe just a classic nude lip, I’d have to grab. Because I feel like if you’re having a no makeup day, as long as you’ve got a bit of a nude lip on and nothing else, you’re sorted – do you know what I mean? And then finally… third product… may be a brow brush? Which I never thought I’d say but brows are so big now aren’t they, hun? They’re a priority. As long as they’re brushed up and they’re all in the right place then we’re good. X-Factor Jade would've saved three very different makeup products. A fuchsia pink lip, a massive lash… and, what else… brows just weren’t a thing to me then it’s so wild to me like the change in trends and stuff… maybe a lip gloss or something? But I mean, back then, especially for us girls, I think makeup artists got so excited at the thought of a new girl band that anything went. It was just throw anything on our faces and hope for the best at that point. It was a hot mess. But it was also of that time, like pop stars were really doing the most – like you had Katy Perry… it was all really colourful wasn’t it? Nicki Minaj… all these artists who were doing like really bright bold makeup looks and the eye colour would be very different to the lip… and y’know we’d have feathers on our eyelashes. It really was throwing the kitchen sink in so we’ve definitely learnt to mellow down over the years for sure. In ten years time, I’d like to still be performing with the girls. We’ll be doing something together. I’ll have built more of my empire. Maybe more beauty things and more other things I’m into like art and my businesses up North. As it stands, every year I get older I get more confident in myself so I’d like to imagine in ten years time I’ll be at a place where literally no body is going to affect me when it comes to self-love. And maybe I’d be helping to support another girl band by that point as well. It’s getting a bit lonely out here. We need more. So, yeah – I’ll be helping flying the flag there, I suppose.

[the-bau-quinjet]

And I confess, babe

Part 6 of In Breakable Heaven!

Summary: Feelings are confessed... sort of.

Warnings: none 

Word count: ~2400

“There’s something I haven’t been completely honest about.” You blurted out taking a break from cleaning. It had been a few months since Halloween, and you and Spencer have hung out whenever possible, but never calling anything a date. You had both gotten pretty busy with the holidays, but still made time. He is basically your best friend, but you want more than that. You just aren’t sure he feels the same way. 

Spencer turned from where he was reading on the couch immediately mirroring the nervous expression he could see on your face. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything. That’s what friends are for.” Ugh, friends. This is so confusing. As he walked up to you, you thought you noticed a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but you brush it off. You need to focus.

You have never told any of your friends about this. It’s almost like you were living two lives and all the sudden you wanted them to merge. Well, really you just wanted an excuse to sing love songs to the man standing in front of you without completely freaking him out. “You know how much I love Taylor Swift, right?” You could see the confusion growing on his face 

“Um, yeah. That’s not exactly a secret…” he chuckles as he searches for the truth in your eyes. 

“Well, um... I kind of... well… it’s not really a big deal, but I… you see…”

 “Y/N, just tell me. I promise not to freak out.” He interrupted, the confusion evident on his face.

“Okay, just… I’m inaTaylorSwiftcoverband…” You blurt, the words rushing from your mouth. You cover your face with your hands. Of course, boy genius understood the mess of a sentence you just said, realization slowly dawning on him.

 “Y/N, why were you so nervous to tell me?” He sounded shocked. “You know I would support you no matter what. When’s your next show? I would love to go see you perform.” The sincerity in his voice made tears well up in your eyes. 

You rushed to hug him as you said “I don’t know why I was so nervous. I guess people can be really harsh when you are a Taylor Swift fan. Nobody takes you seriously, ya know? I started the band because her music made me better at conveying my emotions. It was actually a kind of therapy for me at first, but then I fell in love with performing. I actually wanted to tell you so I could invite you, and the rest of the team, to my next show. It’s Saturday night.”

 He ran his hands up and down your back before pulling away to look you in the eyes. “I will be there.” He said, matter-of-factly. 

“Yay!” You were practically jumping with joy that the conversation went well. It felt kind of stupid to be so worried over other people’s perception of your music interests, but you’ve always been self-conscious of being the “weird” girl. It made even the smallest decision so hard for you. “I want you to invite the rest of the team, but keep it a surprise. I haven’t told Penelope, and I’ve known her 2 years longer than you.” He laughed as you realized how comfortable you must have felt with Spencer to be inviting him and his friends to see you perform. Usually the only way you made it through was knowing there was nobody in the audience that would recognize you enough to make fun of you. But, it was time for a change. You have always been proud of your accomplishments, and the people you called your friends should be a part of that.

 “You should know there’s always a theme to the show. I like to tell a story with her songs, pulling from all the albums helps make it more cohesive.” You wanted him to be a little bit prepared for what you had planned. 

“What’s the story for this show?” Spencer asked, curiosity brewing in his mind. 

“Well Doc, I’m afraid that’s a secret. You’ll have to wait and see.” Spencer kept pestering you to find out the theme, but you refused to tell him. Finally, he returned to reading as you cleaned the rest of your apartment.

--

 Saturday came much faster than you were expecting. The nerves you felt kept growing as you tried to finalize the set list you would be performing in just a few hours. The stories you usually tell don’t normally rely so heavily on your own life experiences. But, that’s why you fell in love with Taylor’s music in the first place. The songs are so relatable. It’s incredible how well she can convey emotions and stories with her lyrics. Plus, this is your chance to tell Spencer how you feel without having too much pressure. If he doesn’t say anything about the obvious theme, you could just pretend you made up the story for the audience. It would be fine. No pressure at all.

 The hours until your show drifted away as you got ready and arrived at the venue. You were actually playing in an auditorium instead of a bar for the first time in a few months. The night had been heavily marketed for couples since Valentine’s day is next week, but you knew your friends would all be there to support you. Going over the set list with the band, they knew exactly what mood you were going for. It was clear there were three sections to the night: 1) the break up, drawing heavily on your experience with Drew, 2) moving on from the failed relationship as you form a new crush, possibly on an incredibly hot doctor, and 3) where you wanted this new relationship to go. That storyline is what made the marketing so good. Couples could come and just be in love, relating the music to their own lives. Plus, people were itching for something to do since no real artists were touring in DC right now.

 You glance out at the audience as the lights flicker, indicating only a few minutes until show time. You find Spencer and the rest of the crew, barring Hotch and Rossi, easily as you put them in the front row. You wanted to be able to see their faces, or completely look over their heads. It all depends on the expression of the one and only Spencer Reid.

 “Hello, and welcome to the show!” You try to hide the nerves. You’ve done this plenty of times, but knowing who is in the audience is taking a toll. “In case you didn’t know, with every show I do, I try to tell a story. Usually, it is based on a movie or a book, but today I am trying something a little bit new. No book, no movie, just a story. It’s got three parts to it. Part one sucks.” You laugh along with the audience. “It’s about a breakup and learning to move on. So let’s get started!”

 You immediately jump into the first song Babe. Technically it features Taylor Swift, but she wrote it so it counts. Plus, it is the perfect song to describe your feelings to finding Drew cheating on you, and she did write it.

 This is the last time I’ll ever call you Babe.

 “Now, I know how hard it can be to get over someone who you’ve been with a long time. Especially when combined with the pain of them cheating on you. This next song describes that mentality of recognizing that someone won’t change because you want them to. Sometimes, the best thing to do is cry and scream and move on.” The instrumental to You’re Not Sorry begins to play as you calm you’re nerves.

 This is the last straw. Don’t wanna hurt anymore. And you can tell me that you’re sorry, but I don’t believe you baby like I did before. You’re not sorry. No, no, no no.

 “I know, I know. No more sad songs! After you break up with someone, it can be pretty hard to not miss what you had. But eventually, you’ll get to a point where when they call you in the middle of the night, all you have to say is We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Like ever.”

 You make it through the next song without a hitch. The crowd is clearly enjoying the show, which is actually helping with your nerves. You’ve glanced at your friends a few times, but nothing that lingers. You’re not quite mentally prepared to look at Spencer yet.

 “With every breakup, there is some amount of time afterward where you can’t help but think about them. No matter how badly it ended, there is at least a day. It could slowly fade out or it could just disappear one day, like magic. Either way, this song is how I personally feel once that window of time ends.”

 I forgot that you existed. It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it‘s just indifference.

 This song really helped turn the mood around. Everybody is dancing and singing, clearly enjoying themselves. As the song ends, your nerves return a bit. This is the scary part.

 “And with that, we move on to part 2! As the saying goes, the best way to get over him is to get under someone else. Well, that’s not exactly where this is going, but it follows the same general logic.” The instrumental to Enchanted has already started as you finish the intro “Meeting someone who helps take your mind off the bad by making new memories.”

 All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you. This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go. I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.

 This is the first song you are singing directly to Spencer, even if you can’t even look at him. You glance at every other member of the BAU, but you just can’t bring yourself to admit it to him. Not yet.

 Please don’t be in love with someone else. Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.

 You can feel the sting in your throat that comes from thinking of Spencer being with someone else, finally making you look at him. He seems happy. He’s not dancing as much as everyone else, but he is swaying. You count it as a win.

 “Now, I’m not saying the only way to get over a breakup is a new relationship. Sometimes, you just need a friend.” You clear your throat to go right into the next song.

 Wanna hang out? Yeah, sounds like fun. Video games, you pass me a note. Sleeping in tents. It’s nice to have a friend.

 This is where it’s supposed to be obvious who you are singing to. None of your newly formed friends really know the extent of your relationship with Spencer. But, you’ve convinced him to try a lot of new things. It started small, with hiking, but eventually you got him to agree to a short camping trip over a long weekend. It was freezing since it was November, but you just cuddled together around the fire. That is what makes this so nerve wracking. You are terrified of messing up your friendship.

 “Friends are the best resource post breakup. They always know how to put a smile on my face, no matter what I’m upset about. You could go so far as to say I’m Only Me When I’m With You.” You laugh at the corny joke, knowing that’s the next song you’re singing. “To be completely honest, this is kind of a story of the past few months of my life. I had a pretty bad breakup, but I met some new friends who really helped me through it. It’s nice to be completely honest about yourself with someone else.”

 I don’t try to hide my tears, my secrets, or my deepest fears. And through it all, nobody gets me like you do.

 “Now, we move onto the third and final part of the show. We’ve covered the past and the present, so all that’s left is the future! The future is unknown, which is kinda of scary when you think about it. So, it can really help to have someone who makes you feel Fearless.” So many lyrics make you want to stare at Spencer.

 I wanna ask you dance right there, in the middle of the parking lot.

-

Run your hands through your hair, absentmindedly making me want you.

-

And I don’t know why, but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless.

-

You’ve decided against looking at Spencer and the rest of the profilers. If you make eye contact you know they would 100% be able to see right through you. Just two more songs to get through. You don’t even pause to talk before the next song is playing.

 Cause all I know is you said, “Hello” and your eyes look like coming home.

 You’ve spent so long thinking about Spencer and his perfect freaking eyes that you subconsciously glance at him right then. The second you realize, you look away again, missing the look of complete adoration on his face.

 And meet me there tonight and let me know that it’s not all in my mind.

 “Alrighty folks, I’ve got one more song for you. You probably could’ve guessed it by now, part 3 is about a future relationship, one I’m not currently in. But that’s the thing about the future, you never really know what it holds.” This is where shit goes a little bit sideways. You didn’t plan on changing the lyrics. Most of the profilers seem to miss it, not recognizing that you switched one very crucial word in the song. The one profiler that notices the mistake has spent the last four months listening to every Taylor Swift song ever written because he’s spent so much time with you, and you are always listening to something.

 Dark jeans and your converse, look at you. Oh damn, never seen that color blue.

 Oh damn is right. You somehow manage to make it through the rest of the song, but now Spencer knows you were singing to him. You can’t decide if you’re glad it’s out there or if you are going to puke the second you run off stage.

 “Delicate is about the beginnings of a romance. It’s that point where you are scared any sudden movements will shatter everything you’ve built so far.” You take one final deep breathe. “It’s about admitting your feelings because you can’t move forward without taking the next step. That’s what the future is all about. Thank you all for coming, goodnight!” And with that, you left.

 tag list:

@mac99martin​ @goldeng1rl8​ @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets15 @laurakirsten0502 @green-intervention @burnin-passion @takeyourleap-of-faith @secretpickleprofessordean @awkwardnesshabitat @loveheathens @fan-girl-97