#but not at the brunt of it certainly
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fideidefenswhore · 2 years ago
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thoughts on william latimer on a source on anne boleyn?
oooo, thanks <3
i think maria dowling has argued pretty convincingly that to dismiss his work as panegyric is fairly specious?
latimer did, for one, actually know anne pretty well (he was her chaplain), his sources are people that actually knew anne pretty well, too (one of them, mary fitzroy, likely her favorite lady-in-waiting).
now, does this preclude that it's a biased source, that latimer is probably putting the best spin on things his retelling, of course not, but none of the anecdotes he provides have been unequivocally disproved, if that makes sense? and many of them even have corroboration.
an excerpt/example from dowling:
Anne Boleyn's fondness for scripture was paralleled by her interest in scholarship. William Latimer states that she asked the King to excuse the universities from the payments of tenths and subsidies; that she gave substantial sums of money to Oxford and Cambridge for the maitenanceof poor scholars: and that she granted a student named Beckynsall [funds] for a year to study abroad
The first claim is confirmed by a letter of thanks to her from Cambridge university, and the second is supported by William Barker. In the dedication of his Nobility of Women to Elizabeth I in 1559, the latter recalled the Anne had 'employed her bountiful benevolence upon sundry students that were placed at Cambridge, among the which it please Her Highness to appoint me." Further, when Barker was forced to beg for Elizabeth's mercy in 1571 for his involvement in the Ridolfi plot, he again harked back to Anne's generosity, and asked that 'as by Her Majesty's noble mother I first began at Cambridge tasting of her munificence, so by Her Majesty's clemency I may end the rest of my sorrowful days there."
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milkweedman · 1 year ago
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some more feedback on the glittery terf repellant... I like the concept but i think that it reads a bit like an anti-misandry thing rather than an anti-transphobia thing. specifically bc of the "the existence of men" one - terfs don't have a problem with men, they're a hate group targeting specifically trans women. so it sounds as tho ur saying trans women = men, or that it's not even about terfs, but rather a statement from a "men's rights activist". hope that makes sense!
it is an anti-misandry thing.
if you think its impossible to be anti-misandry without being an MRA then im not sure i can help you. do you think that the mere existence of men DOES threaten people ? do you believe that the world would be a safer place if it was only women ? interesting. where have we heard that before...
this isn't directed at you specifically but rather at everybody who keeps misreading things, but:
Yes, radfems absolutely do hate men. The statement above is something they say, it's part of the propaganda they spread. If terfs specifically are somehow pro-men but anti trans-women (they're not, but lets pretend) then fine--I've never been talking about terfs, I've been talking about radfems. This entire time I've said radfems and nearly everyone talking to me has said terfs back. They're not the same thing--all terfs are radfems but not all radfems are terfs.
Radfems do hate men. I have no idea where you got the concept that they're fine with them. I've read a lot of their rhetoric over the years, both as research and as poison that seeped into popular culture and queer culture as well.
That is why my initial attempt at radfem proofing a post was to write: WARNING OP LOVES COCK THIS POST IS ABOUT COCK. ITS SO GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL ❤️ GOOD MORNING TO PENISES EVERYWHERE
Frankly, I have seen radfems still reblog things that are trans-positive, because they don't fucking care. I have never seen them reblog something praising how beautiful cock is though--presumably because it just disgusts them, but who knows why.
Anyway. Who exactly do you think "the existence of men does not threaten anybody" is for ? Who do you think would disagree with that statement, and why do you think I have been using it ?
I can give you some hints--anybody who is a gender separatist, or who believes men are inherently dangerous, is going to strongly disagree with that statement. Please look into what type of person that is, and what other things they believe, and then we can continue this discussion if you want. But certainly not until then.
Additionally, I fully intend to keep using my main banners, and just adding in one trans related banner due to the feedback that it could be misconstrued. Im not switching to just trans banners. This is both a space that is safe for men, and for trans people.
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fappellmoan · 9 months ago
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and is there not just generally a certain level of decency that would make you like ease up on a person who's obviously more than a little frazzled i am sorry that i cant process all my feelings and regurgitate them to you in an easily digestible manner while im actively In a situation or have a prepared disclaimer about how im so sorry but im just overwhelmed and need you to leave me alone right now or whatever else maybe i just dont know maybe i cant tell you exactly what im feeling or need and if i have to figure it out and explain that to you my brain is going to explode. but you could read the room. is there not a point where a friend would probably just go oh okay let me not continue pushing this person let me take a moment to reflect on their state and perhaps try to ease that or at least not keep fucking pushing on it. and also maybe not choose these moments to make otherwise innocuous but contextually just kinda meanspirited jabs. ok whatever
#not to be a sensitive little bitch except im not.#i dont want to be rude or too explicitly open about the things i dont really like to talk about#but sometimes. frankly. people need to take on the weight of their own feelings. insecurities. thoughts. etc and then some#some of us grew up with little to no emotional support and in fact took on the weight of their family's issues and the brunt of their#emotional immaturity and sometimes that makes someone feel fundamentally rattled and unsafe in moments like that#some of us had pretty much every big personal emotional. thing. that happened to them minimized and turned into some tragic#family conversation. or had someone reply like huh idk if that could have happened to you i certainly dont remember that#and then you wonder if people were ever looking out for you and if the ones that did just truly didnt care.#um. anyway. this is not just to be like oh im so quirky and different and traumatized lol but im reaching a boiling point when it comes#to people just like. doing this shit. or whatever. im going to start screaming#i shouldnt have to bare my fucking soul to you for you to go oh huh maybe this is a sensitive subject perhaps#frankly we arent the same and we dont relate and aw bummerooni ik im not the only sufferer but good god.#our lives were very different in some ways!#and sometimes all i want is for someone to say its ok kid you did good#again. not to be dramatic. but when ive talked about MY upheaval of feelings or w/e like if thats been impacting#how ive been acting and people start crying at me or get all whatever. oh it makes me wanna be the one to pass the torch#yeah man imagine how tired we are.#ok talking incoherently now so im gonna go do my job i guess.#abby talks#i know no one will save me but maybe sometimes it’d be nice to share the weight regardless
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femmefaggot · 1 year ago
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and i could not even do that right
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astranauticus · 1 year ago
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'wow the vibes are rancid in here today!' i say, referring to the inside of my own brain
#live asto reaction#im like... actually brunt out i think like i said it kinda as a joke in my prev posts but somethings not right#like i rarely have all 3 tanks like art motivation/good art ideas/actually good drawings i have left in me run empty on me like this#i mean the drawing at every free opportunity i got for a month certainly didnt help but im pretty sure its more.. external than internal#for whatever its worth. like i just have like a million and one things i need to settle for like. school n shit#im....... far too involved frankly in my faculty's freshman orientation camp and its absolutely kicking my ass#its honestly not that much work im just super not good at it#AND ALSO would probably help to kinda. log off for a bit#eugh#its not all bad. ive got lots of make stuff with your hands hobbies i can fall back on. kinda#its just frustrating to be like the art guy and not be able to make art during the few points in the year i actually have time to do that#my semesters starting REALLY soon and it is. looming large in my brain#not that i hate school exactly i just... cannot draw and do a computer science major at the same time. its just not happening#idk my life is pretty.. horribly boring outside of this one hobby im somewhat decent at which is. frustrating!#ive only very recently started making my way up the dunning kruger curve so its kinda like. can you please just let me have this one thing#asto speaks#might be doing more oc stuff since thats ive found that thats the least... energy intensive? for me to draw but idk#i dont like posting my oc stuff cuz a. theyre always extremely wip b. i am so. absolutely horrendous at character design
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yeyinde · 5 months ago
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baby blues
John Price + the panic of fatherhood x reader
pregnancy. babies. soft. sappy. angsty. slight allusions to rough sex. John being possessive and smitten. allusions to childhood trauma. the fear of children is somehow more potent than the fear of god. girl dad John. mentions of Price's divorce lmao
Most assume he'd take to fatherhood like he'd been born for the role; handcrafted to cradle a swaddled babe in his arms. The perfect father figure. But as he hovers over your sleeping form, the little bundle nestled in the sleepy bracket of your arms, he's overcome with a sense of dread that punches hard enough to shatter bone.
The reality is this: Price doesn't understand kids. He wants them. Covets them with a viciousness that almost immediately sets alarm bells off in the heads of those who were opposed to the idea of children, parenthood. Giving birth. But when it comes to being a dad, a role model, an effigy to siphon wisdom and knowledge off of, he flounders. Hesitates.
All he has as an idea of fatherhood is bruises laughed off by the neighbours as him being a clumsy boy. A man who drank in the living room, silent in his fury, his belligerence, until something—anything, really—set him off. He always seemed like he was itching for a reason to punish.
And god, was he ever fucking good at it.
If anger issues are hereditary, then Price picked up the generational slack of his seething ancestors. 
It's this, and the plethora of scars and burns that decorate his skin (well hidden, tucked away like a dirty secret because if Old Man Price was anything, it certainly wasn't stupid; he knows how to hide the ugliness of himself away, and how to turn a boy into a punching bag without causing too much damage, too much alarm) that make him ache something fierce when he sees his chubby little child for the first time. 
Price doesn't know how to be gentle. All he has are worn, rough hands and a constant stench of smoke. A voice that makes grown men tremble. An ire unmatched thus far in his life. 
Until you. Little spitfire. His hellion. You stood on the tips of your toes just to tell him off for being a stubborn pig! and then taught him how to hold you. How to be tender. But even now, he can see the wear on your skin from his bites. His propensity for violence that he morphs into desire. Into lust. 
How is he supposed to be a dad when he's this caustic? This mean? 
The answer doesn't come. All he gets is the rhythmic sigh of your breath as you sleep, well and truly exhausted after giving birth to their child. All alone. A constant in your lives, it seems. Aloneness. His work takes him away, throws him into dangerous situations. And you carry the brunt of it. 
It caused the rupture of his first marriage and is a needling fear he carried with him when you started pursuing him some odd years ago. To think that he'd be standing here now, gazing down at you with your heavy eyes and your soft cheeks, rounded with the additional weight you gained during your early trimesters. A plushness he's trying to keep on you for good—all softened edges, flesh that gives when he touches you, marshmallows out between his fingers when he squeezes.
You look good like this. Motherhood, despite your misgivings (it took three years of him hinting and hounding you before you'd relented with a sure, what's the worst that could happen? We're terrible parents and raise a terrible kid? Or we end up the catalyst for a list of psychological issues and get reamed out during their therapy sessions later on in life?), suits you. Fits you like a glove.
A fact you'd been quietly overwhelmed by in the first few months, grieving the loss of something he couldn't ever understand, or experience. A piece of yourself morphing into the mother that raised you. A kaleidoscope of feelings that you choke on when he asks, unable to render them into coherent words. 
But you're good at that, aren't you? Good at culling expectations, at superseding the limits others place on you. Even him. 
Especially him. 
When he'd said, don't know what you're gettin’ yourself into, love, you took it to the chin like he challenged you to a brawl, and set out to show him why you knew what this was, what he was, and why it didn't matter much. 
Even now—
Giving birth all alone. Overcoming the isolation of being shackled to a man who married his post first. Sisterwife to his career. Second in all things. 
Even this. 
He was in Iceland when he got the call. Laswell, of all people, was on the other line telling him his own wife was in the delivery room. Water broke. Baby is on the way. 
And you—
Don't worry, old man. Just do what needs to be done and we'll be waiting. Always. 
—well. You certainly are. Alone in a hospital room with the curtains drawn to blot out the sun as you sleep, cradling this thing he made with his fingers shoved deep into your mouth, uttering foul under his breath as he crushed you to the bed, rutting you like an animal—the most tender he could ever be—and he's suddenly all too aware of his own inadequacies. His shortcomings. Failures. 
He's not a dad. He's not the sort of man people think about when they think healthy father figure. He likes cigars and whiskey, and sometimes aches for a mission that will let him cut his knuckles on teeth—bloodletting; exorcising his demons out on the people he's sanctioned to kill. How is he supposed to guide a child when he threw a man over a railing without a second thought—
The bundle stirs. Wrinkled, red face scrunching up tight. Little thing is just like you, huh? All softness and give. All—
They cry, and it's shrill. Loud. It jars him.
Not the sound, but the anguish he feels piercing through his chest as they bellow out their confusion to the world, this lost little thing. Strapped with a father who was beaten black and blue and told to be a man when he cried. 
But right now—anger is the furthest thing on his mind. He can't fathom that emotion when his child is whimpering in your arms, chubby little fingers grasping at the air. Seeking comfort. 
Waking you feels cruel when you've spent the better part of two days awake. Four, really. You couldn't sleep when the contractions hit, wide-eyed and worried about everything. What if something went wrong? If they hated you? What if you hurt them—
Worries he tried to assuage, but couldn't deny he felt them, too. 
All he knows how to do is hurt. But as he reaches down for this little thing squirming in your arms, he tells himself to be tender. To be the man his dad never was. 
And they're soft. So fuckin’ soft. Tiny, too. His hands dwarf them, engulfing them completely. He tries to blame the way he trembles on the denial of nicotine for so long, but the mist in his eyes, and the burn in his throat, call him a liar. He doesn't know what to do. Even with all the hours spent thumbing through manuals and books and scoffing under his breath at the parenting courses you dragged him to (but paid rigid attention to every word the heavily bangled woman said to him), he feels lost. Unsure. The ground is shaky. Control slips. And that's maybe the crux of it all—
Babies can't be controlled. And it's the loss of this, what makes him whole, keeps him steady, that has him feeling rubber-limbed and fawn-like. 
“Quiet, now,” he murmurs, and then winces at the rough drag of his voice in the silence of the room. Too firm, too forceful. All the gentleness he has in his bones was devoured by your greedy mouth when you cracked him open like the legs of a snow crab, marrow slurped up until he was hollow. Empty. His tenderness rests inside your belly. What else does he have to give—
But the warm bundle in his awkward, clumsy hold stops their shrill cries. A girl, he remembers you saying. Crying. Sobbing into the phone when he called, all ugly and gross. He heard you sniffle, snot undoubtedly dribbling from your nose as you wept to him about how fucking cute their baby was. Their little girl. 
She's soft. Smells of a newborn, too—something powdery. Sweet. Warmed milk, fresh bread. The clinical books that made you squeamish, the ones that outlined every anatomical and chemical change to your body, mentioned that newborns smelled distinct to each parent. A phenomenon meant to encourage protection and bonding. 
It made you shiver, muttering my little parasite under your breath, even as your hand curved possessively over your bulging belly. 
He knows that's what this is. Chemical. His mind is evolving, shifting. Changing. And it's then that he feels something hot thicken in his throat. Something ugly, and bitter. The scars on his knuckles, the cigarette burns on his fingers are a sharp reminder of what his father felt and ignored. 
He scoffs, then, irritated at himself. He's a grown man and still—
Still thinks of him. 
“Won't be like that,” he says, still rough. Still firm. She blinks up at him, eyes rheumy and wide. “Not with you.” 
Never. Never. He pins the word to his pericardium, letting it rot his tissue. He'd rather die, he thinks, than ever hurt this little girl. But despite that, he knows he will. Inevitably. Just like he does everything good—or bad—in his life. Leaching from the goodness of others, sucking them dry and letting them moulder. A disappointment everywhere except the battlefield where he screams himself hollow and rents the air with his ire. Incorrigible. Immovable. An object of cruelty. Unforgiving in all aspects. A curse that follows him home, into his marital bed when he pins you down, and makes you profess your love for the beast inside of him. Never satiated, never quelled, until you're shackled at his side. Tucked away from the world he knows is too cruel to people like you who end up a corpse he has to step over on his way for empty retribution. 
He thinks, too, about all the ways he's going to ruin this chubby little thing in his arms, and wishes, suddenly, he was a better man. 
“Gonna hate my fuckin' guts when you're sixteen, aren't you?” In response, this little thing just opens its red maw and blows bubbles. He huffs. “You're gonna be nothin’ but trouble, mm? Steal my car. Crash it because your mum's gonna teach you how to drive and she backed into the garage six times already. Gonna gang up on me. Both of you. Little nightmares.” 
He's not sure what else to say, and thinks, already, that he said too much. Bared his belly to her too soon. She'll have this memory, buried down in the deep recesses of her psyche of her father falling to pieces while he held her. An impossibility, he knows, but can't shake the feeling that this, in itself, is an epoch. A marker for what's to come. All the ugly, the hate. The screaming matches that make him curl his hand into fists as she levels his failures at him. Not to hit. Never to hit. But to stop the tremble that won't stop. That has already started. The shake in his joints that tell him to run before he hurts. Before he ruins this precious mass of his blood and your tissue in his arms. 
“Gonna—” he isn't crying. Isn't. But there's a thickness in his throat as he thinks about how quickly she'll grow up. Age marked in the crows feet that gather around your eyes. The laugh lines. “Gonna be a fuckin' menace, and I'll—” he chokes, then, when she reaches up with a pudgy, red fist and snags the strap of his vest he didn't even bother taking off before he fled here. Fat, tiny fingers curling into the spot he grabs to ground himself from lashing out. “Fuck.”
He'd burn the world for her, he knows. Sacrifice everyone and everything just to keep her warm. Both of you. It begins and ends with this little thing that has your eyes and his nose. 
But he doesn't know how to translate that into love. Into affection. 
It comes out caustic. Abrasive. Possessive. 
And he is. 
Now that he has her in his hands he knows that nothing else will ever compare. That they'll never be empty because she'll always fit in his palms no matter how big she gets. There's only ever been enough space in his heart for you. Chiselled into with a fuckin’ pickaxe because you wouldn't wait for it to grow on its own. 
But there's give, he realises. This domicile you carved yourself has a room attached. A place for her. And she fits like a glove. Sliding inside. Cocooned against his pulse. 
He loves her. Endlessly. Forever. She deserves better. More. 
But when he tells her this, she makes a noise and it sounds like a giggle. 
“Laughin’ at me already, mm?”
She giggles again, and he likes that her laugh is a little ugly. A little mean. 
“Scarin’ the wits outta me,” he confesses, shifting her weight as she occupies herself with the clasp of his vest, disinterested in the man that breaks into pieces around her now. “I don't know—fuck, I don't—”
You come to in a panic. It starts as a slow roll to the side before your eyes flash open, wide and furious even as sleep congeals in the corners, pawing at the empty spot where the lingering warmth of your child presses into your chest. Anger, fury, darkens over your brow, and the apoplectic rage that simmers in the gaps of your dread, your fostering panic, softens him. Makes him melt. The burn of your ire, your fear, liquifying his bones. 
He falls in love with you a little bit more at that moment. When the snarl rucks your upper lip up, up, teeth bared to the world as you whip your head around in frantic, desperate dismay, searching for the little girl he knows you, too, will burn the world for. 
“I've got her,” he says, whisper-soft and low. Cadence even, clear. Tries to quell the howl he can see hammering its fists against your throat before it rips from your lips and scorches the world around you in a hail of horrifying anguish. “She's safe.”
It says something when you immediately go still at the sound of his voice, muscles going lax, slack, as you slowly turn your head toward him, blinking against the fog clotting your vision. Something that cuts him to the core. Rents his chest in halves. One side for you, and the other for her. Nothing left to spare. 
This feeling brimming in his chest sweetens when you startle at the sight of him, them, lashes shuttering like an old camera as if you were trying to sear the image in your head forever. Branded on the back of your eyelids. (A sentiment he knows all too well considering the stream of photos added to his camera roll of you and her nuzzled together.)
“You—” your voice catches, breaks from sleep. Fatigue. You swallow, slowly licking your lips. “When did you get in?”
Your eyes are glued to them. Unblinking. Widened with pure affection, the intensity of which makes him want to touch you, hold you.
“A few hours ago,” he murmurs, glancing down at his—
It cuts a jagged line through his chest. Knicks his bone with how deep it goes. False starts pressed tight to his heart. 
—his daughter. Fuck’s sake. 
He's choked. Strangled. Rendered mute, immobilised. It guts him, this. Daughter. The ring of it echoes in his head, filling the recesses of his mind. Embedding itself within his head. Congealed over. Fixed in place. 
“I have a fuckin’ daughter,” he breathes at length, the air knocked from his lungs. He's not sure why this is what breaks him, but it does. And it's you, then, holding the fracturing pieces together, hands reaching out—in a startling mimicry of his daughter, and fuck, doesn't that just eviscerate him—and curling against the heaving brackets of his ribs, boxing him in. 
“John,” you say, but your voice wobbles. Wavers. When he peels his eyes away from the sleepy yawn she lets out long enough to look at you, there's tears flooding your lashline. Threatening to break. “Fuck,” you say, crass and beautiful, and he's overcome with the urge to tuck you into his other arm, keep you both cradled in his hands. “Don't make me cry or my stitches will tug.” 
“We've got a daughter,” he says again, just to hear it uttered aloud. We. Yours. His. It messes with him. Bludgeons into his core. “We've—”
“She's beautiful, isn't she?” 
Your words shatter him, but the pinch of your hands on his waist keeps him from buckling. 
“Yeah,” he rasps, voice thick. Ugly. It's mangled in his throat. All fractured and raw. “Just like her mother.”
He shows his affection in the burn of his embrace. In the way he holds you tight, refusing to let go. Keeps his words callous and firm. Soft utterances, declarations of love, tucked away in the sure, greedy way he clings to you in his sleep. Yields to you like no one else. Lets you in. 
And he supposes he ought to say it more often if the way your face crinkles up just like his daughter when she cried, tears spilling over your rounded cheeks. 
“Don't,” you heave, ugly and brittle, and he thinks you're the prettiest thing he'd ever seen in his life. “Don't or I'll rip my stitches—”
He huffs. Nods only once, and then steps toward you. “Do you want—?”
“Keep her for a little while,” you mutter, leaning back into the bed, eyes lidded by fond. So in love with him, the picture they paint, it's almost sickening. “She likes you.”
He snorts. “She's only three hours old. Give her time.” 
You're quiet for a beat. Pensive. Mulling something over. It's never a good thing when you're silent, and the unease that grows in his belly is justified when you heave out a long, tired exhale through your nose. 
The way you look at him is raw. “You're not your father, John.” 
And isn't that just the worst lie he'd ever heard.
He scoffs, then. Shifts his weight, still cradling his daughter tight to his chest. “Mm, 'dunno about that.”
“I do.”
“Jus’—” leave it. Keep going. Keep feeding him lies as he stands here and pretends that he wasn't a horrible bastard for wanting this from you. From taking it. Strapping you with a man who's always, always, one foot out the door—
“No.” You say, soft and sure. “You're not him. I know you're not because you're still here.”
“So was he.” 
You don't acknowledge the interruption. Content, it seems, to rattle off lies and half-truths into the stifling air. Your eyes close, the curve of your lashes leonine. Breathtaking.
“Do you want me to take her?” You ask instead of the multitude of things he can see piling behind your eyes. Some of the ugly. Jagged glass. Others powder soft. 
He shakes his head. “You need your rest,” it's a half-truth. Fatigue clings to you still, swathed in the purpling of your skin. The slow, heavy blinks you take to try and fight the tug of an artificial sleep. 
But the real reason is this:
He's just not ready to let her go. 
Thinks, viciously, suddenly, that if he does, this moment built between them in budding, liquid blue will cease forever. Severed too soon. She'll carry the same resentment in her heart he feels for his own father, and he'll die in a shallow pit thinking about how badly he wanted just a second longer. 
Generational, right? Trickle down hatred. Ancestral rage. It's what your grandma talks about sometimes over tea and fried bread, half disbelieving you brought a white man into her home, and making a show, a facade, of wisdom even though he spotted the how to raise a child notebook she hastily shoved into the kitchen drawer when you arrived. Taking over in place of your own mother, stepping up. And yet—
She just doesn't get it, you said, rubbing your hands over your belly when she steps away after another long-winded conversation about traditions, spirits, and dead languages. Raising a child like yours in a world like this. She's just. I don't know. Ignore her. 
(He doesn't. But you don't have to know that.)
So. He clings to her a little tighter. Holds her a little firmer. Brings her close to his chest and hopes she can hear the echo of his heartbeat and know that this tired, old song is just for her. 
(The heart itself for you—)
And maybe—
Maybe he's not quite ready to see you be a mother. Some perverse part of him is already trembling at the promise of watching you nurture and feed her, the tantalising whisper is enough to make the air in his lungs turn humid, sticky. Tar, you remind him sometimes, having seen the ugly spatter of black in the grainy photos the doctor in Hereford likes to shove at him. Never too late to reverse the damage, John. 
Or maybe he wants you for himself just a moment longer. An hour. A day. When you're still you, shackled and bound to a man who reeks of stale tobacco, and started sneaking cigarettes in the dead of night like some pimply, awkward teenager when you first came to him, cheeks wet and eyes wild, and said:
“John, I'm—”
Pregnant. 
He did it, of course. Put that baby in you. Made it with his teeth buried into your throat and your hips canting up to meet him, taking everything he had to offer. Animal aggression. Nothing tender in the way he chewed you up, made you beg him for it. But still—
Wanting and having are worlds apart, aren't they? 
Faced with it, the consequences of his actions, he's at a standstill. 
You hum, and when your eyes slide open, he feels the mallet against his head. Cracked open. You fossick about until you find what you're looking for. Cheeky fuckin’ thing—
“Fine. Just pull up a chair before you keel over, old man.” 
“M’fine,” he grouses in that voice that serves as a dice roll between making you feel hot or homicidal depending on the mood he catches you in. Muttering something under your breath that sounds like a whispered plea for guidance (“tss, gimme strength.”)
But even with the waspish denial, he's inching closer to the spare chair left in the corner, looping his ankle around the leg to slide it closer. The squeal of rubber on aluminium makes him grimace, eyes darting down to his sleeping girl, nestled in his arms. Her brow pinches in the same way your grandma’s do when she's annoyed by the news. Her bingomates. The way he refuses her offering of burning tobacco and lemongrass whenever he goes away for a while, unable to really commit to this little, broken family that feels more like home than his own ever did. 
(“aint my place,” he says, and she scoffs. 
“fuck, s'matter wit’cha?” is her counter, the harsh line between her brows now perfectly superimposed on his daughter’s face. “tss. ain't yer place, eh. are you tryna piss me off? fuck, you make me mad—”)
He sees that spitting anger in you. Generational, he knows. The same inherited attitude his daughter will inevitably have. The one that singles him out as an outlier. Outnumbered. Three, now, to one—
There's got to be a reason why his chest bubbles, innervated by the thought of a Sunday dinner when she's old enough to watch her grandma make intricate bracelets, necklaces, earrings, and pins with thread and glass beads as you, her mother, cuss at the stove that doesn't burn as hot as it used to, flipping over golden dough in a sizzling pan. 
Orange juice in old cups your grandma kept since the nineties. Something soft playing on the radio. The peeling, waterlogged wallpaper flakes off the wall when you slam the pan down too hard. The way the spill of the sun through the rusting window rents the room in half. Pale yellow and oak. Little orange blossoms in soft pink above the speckled granite countertops. Everything awash in a gossamer of sleepy-eyed affection. 
Just like it is now. But—
He looks down at her, head full of lead. Cotton. 
Complete, maybe. 
“Don't know how to be a dad,” he confesses to you, and thinks of how much easier it is to slam a sledgehammer into a metal door than it is to peel back the veneer sometimes. “Don't want to mess up.” 
“You'll be fine.” 
The crinkle of the plastic mattress, the scratch of the sheets sliding across the bed is louder now than it was before. He cuts the gentle sounds with an abrading hum that clicks off his teeth. 
“Get some sleep,” he says again instead of the awful truth that buoys in his throat. Things like you don't know and I tricked you this whole time into thinking I'm a good man and look what you’ve let me do to you. “You need it.” 
Another noise. In his periphery, he watches you lean back against the upright pillows, lips parted on a soft sigh. He feels—
Small, then. An oxymoron considering he has to duck his head to get in and out of the room, towering over most he meets daily. But the inadequacies gut him. Vivisect him. He should be more comforting to you, he knows. This whole thing has been difficult. Tiresome. Cut into and having the life you grew inside of you cut out—
“Did good,” he rasps, still staring down at her even as he pulls the chair as close to your bed as he can get. “With her.” 
You snort. It's inelegant. Ugly. Brittle, like you're holding back tears. 
When he glances up, he finds that you are. “You're strong,” he adds, and knows he should have started with this first. “Doin’ this all on your own.” 
“I had help.”
It's awkward trying to adjust himself in the seat with his daughter perched in his arms, but he finds a way. Settled, then, with her still sleeping away, he lifts his hand from her back, keeping her cradled in his arm with the other, and reaches for you. 
The starchy sheets catch on the bramble of hair on his knuckles, the back of his hand, and the static jolts tickle against the rough scar tissue thickened over his knuckles, some still fresh, scabbed from the latest mission he'd been deployed to. You watch him, misty-eyed and tremulous, as he draws nearer, eyes flickering like a pendulum between the bundle nestled on the thick of his arm, to him, watching you back. Greedily taking in every spasm, every blink. 
Something inside of him cracks. Softens. He thinks, breathless, that you've never been as beautiful to him as you are right now. Bubbles of snot in your nose. Eyes reddened, dropping from exhaustion. A dizzying mess. The sort that speaks of tireless work, of physicality. Muted pain brimming in the backs of your eyes when you pull on your stitches. 
“Got a pretty wife,” he says, and it's not enough. He knows it isn't. Looks away before the fracture lilt to his tone breaks him in two. “And—” it's hard to say. He forces himself to. “And a beautiful daughter.” 
The tears stream down your face at this quiet, clumsy admission. 
“Don't—” you sniffle, hoarse. “Or I'll tear my stitches.”
“M’not doin' anythin’, love.” 
“Fuck you, John—”
He leans back in his chair with a hum, eyes slipping shut. A brief respite amid the panic still clinging tight to his ribcage. “Love you too.” 
It's quiet. Nothing but the soft drag of each breath his daughter takes, the tremulous sniffle you give as you try to dam the tears sliding down your cheeks. His heart hammering in his ears. He commits it all to memory. Glueing it to the fibrils of mind where it'll stay, embedded in tissue, for as long as he is of sound mind. 
Much like the grainy, black-and-white ultrasounds stuffed in his breast pocket. Tucked inside the drawer of his desk where he keeps the pictures of you. Keepsakes he's unnecessarily possessive over, elbowing the rowdier men who try to needle him for sparse information on the little wife he hides at home and the baby they'll never meet. Something just for him. Unshareable to the rest of the world because they don't deserve you. 
The feathered snores tell him you're finally asleep, and he thinks about resting for a moment as well—the bone-deep exhaustion he feels jetting from Iceland to home, to the hospital catches up to him with a vicious kick to temples—but the weight in his arm keeps him awake. Hyperviligent. 
There's this urge clawing at him, making ruins of his chest, and he answers its worried insistence by opening his eyes just a sliver to stare down at the little bundle in his arms only to find she's staring back at him. Eyes wide. Comically too big for her chubby face. 
She has your complexion, but his dark curls. Her eyes, though, are the perfect equilibrium between pools of sapphire, burnt blue, marbled with the dark gleam, that vibrant shade of yours that he's so fond of, the one that's often accompanied by a smart-ass remark. Seeing it gaze up at him with such incipient adoration knocks the air from his lungs. Has his heart shuddering in the brackets of his chest. 
It's love, he thinks first. Instantaneous. Apodictic. And then, cold, callous—
Chemical. 
Just to hurt himself, maybe. Just to let it cut deep. Scar. Because as he stares down at her, he knows it doesn't matter. No amount of hatred, of anger, will ever rip her away from him. His daughter. His family. His.
Like her mother. The root of it all. The catalyst. The start. 
Shackled to this gaping chasm that devours endlessly, never satiated. Always starving. 
Needy. Full of greed. 
Because even now he covets. Craves. Muses to himself about how he can convince you to have another the moment the opportunity arises and you're healed. Whole. Aching for it. 
He wasn't joking when he said he wanted a football team. 
But for now—
The soft sighs you make in your sleep, ones that almost sound like his name, and the comforting weight of his daughter in his arms are enough to make the beast inside purr. Preening under its own conquest, its own victory of successfully turning your body into a home he can rest his weary head on. Sacrosanct. 
He looks at her, then, and feels the dread ease into pride. Into elation. An emotion he knows should have come first, but it's here now, and that's all that really matters.
“Gonna be trouble,” he grouses, watching her pink mouth gape wide, blood-red maw grinning up at him in delirious glee only babies can imbue. Unhindered by the ruination of the world around them. Unfettered. 
Something he couldn't protect you from, but knows you're both on the same wavelength when it comes to her. At all costs, you'd said, hand against the burgeoning swell. And he kissed you until he couldn't feel his lips anymore. Until all he tasted, all he knew, was the taste of you.
“Of the best kind, though, mm?” 
In response, she coos. And he hews the sound into his chest where it sits beside the brand of when you first said, i love you, too, John. 
So, he relaxes. Whispers soft, conspiratorily. "Think you might need'a brother, mm? What'd you say about that?"
And she giggles.
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agendabymooner · 8 months ago
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SOMETHING REWARDED !!! LANDO N. X FEM!READER (18+)
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summary: at the night of his first win, lando gave his sweet girl a reward for being his ‘lucky charm.’
content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), miami gp 2024 spoilers (ish), standard smut, anal play if you blink, praise kink, titfucking, body worship-esque
note: this could’ve been published an hour after the race but i got busy. it didn���t eat as much but enjoy xx
something sinful (smut) masterlist
a - n masterlist // o - z masterlist
if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out
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lando’s partner wasn’t shy. she was just… reserved in the sweetest way possible. that’s what he loved about her. no amount of words could express how beautiful she was. her curves, her lips, her everything? 
god lando was fucking in love with her.
anyone in miami might assume that she was feeling hot due to the sweltering weather. sure. 
but lando knew the difference between the heat in her face when she’s under the sunny weather and when he whispers praises in her ears.
and he certainly knew what the heat rising in her cheeks meant when he had his hand between her thighs.
“lando…” she murmured softly, her face becoming hotter by than it was as lando hovered over her, “i- i-“
“shh…” lando tutted her with a smirk, “‘s okay, darling. ‘s just us.”
“i know,” she whispered back, “b- but you’re supposed to be celebrating tonight.”
“i told the boys i’m not showing up,” lando said, his hands were getting too generous for his touches to be just ‘teasing.’ 
lando won today. surely he can be something beyond generous, right? he got what he wanted for a long time, a long awaited victory.
it was only fair that his sweet girl got the brunt of that victory, too.
his lips attached themselves on her ear and nipped on it, eliciting a soft moan from her. pressing another kiss on her earlobe, lando whispered, “told them i’m too busy loving on my lucky charm.”
she let out a whine, her body squirming beneath lando’s towering ones while his hands slid her dress off.
she was left with nothing but a red lace knickers, her plump breasts eager to be devoured as lando growled quietly. his one hand created friction on her nipple while his mouth was attached to her other one. 
“oh,” she let out a little whimper, her back arching just at the feeling of lando’s hands and mouth all over her. “hm-“
lando’s hands worshipped her like she deserved, gliding through her curves and between her thighs. the sweet whispers of, “lando” continued to escape her mouth. 
“mmm… you’re so fucking pretty, my sweet girl,” lando murmured, his hands kneading and fondling her tits. “such good fucking tits, too.
precum leaked out of lando’s cock, his mind already feeling foggy with the thought of feeling her writhe beneath him. 
“you don’t mind me fucking these tits, do you?” lando taunted her, knowing that she would say yes anyway. “can i fuck these tits, baby? hm?”
lando could have cum right there as his half-lidded eyes were trained on her flustered face. the woman didn’t show how excited she was, but she sure wanted him as much. 
she bit her lip and nodded, her tits splayed out in the open. she held her breasts and squeezed them together.
lando grinned, moving up on the mattress with his cock gliding through her tits. lando let out a guttural groan, watching the tip of his cock disappearing each time he slid. 
she whimpered, enjoying the sight of lando on top of her. 
“fuck,” he cursed, thrusting his cock between her breast while she whined. “so good for me, baby. god, fuck. you’re gonna make me cum hard.” 
“oh god…”
and if fucking her tits wasn’t any better, seeing the top of her tongue lick his moving cock became nothing but a cherry on top. 
sure his first victory in miami was an achievement, but god his girlfriend was a delightful sight to see when she begged to be fucked too. 
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“hngh- oh god,” she whined lewdly, already too fucked out after her third orgasm of the night. from behind, lando watched himself glisten and slide out with her wetness coating his cock. 
“so good f’me, darling,” lando crooned softly, thrusting into her wet cunt slowly. 
she didn’t respond with anything but a muffled mewl, clutching the sheets drenched with the mess she made.
“ohhhh god fuck!” lando let out, his pace getting faster as her walls clenched around his girth. 
“oh my god,” she whined, “so good, so good. fuck!~”
“such a good girl,” lando praised her, his hand snaking between her thighs to rub her clit. “let it out baby. you’re such a good girl.”
“i’m gonna cum again,” she stammered, her body squirming and writhing while being caged by lando. she could crawl away, her legs shaking vigorously as she felt her orgasm approach. 
lando’s other hand glided on her ass, his thumb toying with her puckered hole as he muttered, “mmm… look at this hole of yours.”
“so tight and all,” lando commented, lust evident on his tone, “you’re gonna let me fuck this one of these days, aren’t you?”
“ngh-“
“yes?” lando chuckled darkly, “i know you said yes before. but…
“i want you to cum again,” lando whispered, his hand reaching up to tug on her hair. “cum on my cock darling. cum all over my cock.”
lando might be the victorious one today, sure, but nobody deserves a reward more than she did. 
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♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa @magnummagnussen @happy-nico @architect-2015 @hiireadstuff @biancathecool @scorpiomindfuck @stinkyjax @youdontknowmeshh @hyneyedfiz @decafmickey @lightdragonrayne
♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1 @savrose129 @maxillness @bigsimperika @xoscar03
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bbydoll18xx · 19 days ago
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The Road Not Taken (Looks Real Good Now)
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You’re home, back in Minnesota for the holidays, and you're really missing Paige's smile.
Paige Bueckers x Reader
Masterlist
Word Count: 1.7k
Themes: Pining, falling in love with you childhood best friend
A/N: well I was listening to Tis The Damn Season in the shower and daydreaming so that’s how we got here. I really like this, and I hope you do too :)
Please enjoy
~
‘Nostalgia is a mind fuck.’
That was the first thought in your head as you awoke in your childhood bedroom, peeking through the sparkly purple curtains that adorned your window. 
The backyard was blanketed in a soft, thick sheet of snow, illuminated by the golden sun of the late morning. 
You had traded the bustling streets of Los Angeles for the sleepy, quiet suburbs of Minnesota, and for a moment, you almost forget the real reason you decided to come home for Thanksgiving this year. 
It wasn’t for your mom’s famous pumpkin pie. And it certainly wasn’t to explain to your nosy family members why you were in your mid-twenties and still single. 
It was all because of Paige and her ridiculous ability to pull you away from every rational thought in your brain. It was almost laughable. 
Paige Bueckers was your childhood best friend. But there was always an underlying pull that you felt towards her, like your soul physically ached to be close to hers. 
You think back to the moment you knew it was more than just a friendship, the sudden realization slamming into you, knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving your head spinning. 
You never told her. 
Your head was still spinning. 
It spun throughout college, as you followed her to UConn like a pathetic puppy. It spun as you watched the plane leave as it took her to Dallas when she first got drafted. And when you moved away from home to try and forget about the love in your heart, the desire to be close to her grew, rendering you forlorn.
You could feel the ache now, mixing with a drafty air floating in from the window. You shiver, pulling your blankets in closer around you, cocooning yourself in a protective layer.
You glance around your old bedroom. The holidays always bring back the harsher memories of your childhood. But you were a grown woman now, thank you very much, so you’d push down those old feelings of worthlessness and insecurity.
You were going to see Paige today. And maybe, for just this weekend, everything would be okay again. 
~
“Sweetheart, please tell me you’ve finally found a nice, young man to settle down with,” your grandma croons from across the dinner table just as you put another forkful of mashed potatoes into your mouth. 
A strangled sort of groan escapes your full mouth, her words not necessarily shocking you. You get this question every single year. 
You swallow, sipping your wine, desperate for the alcohol to sink in and take the edge off. “No, grandma. Still single,” you reply politely. She tuts and shakes her head with disapproval.
“Well there’s this nice boy I can set you up with. He goes to my church, and he’s just lovely,” she simpers, drawling on about how he was so proper and wears a cross across his chest. 
‘Paige goes to church,’ you think bitterly, trying not to roll your eyes.
You look despairingly around the table, glaring at the smirks that adorned the faces of your cousins who were obviously glad they were not the brunt of the family matriarchs’ matchmaking. 
“Oh that’s okay, but thank you. Hey! Did Aaron tell you about his new girlfriend?” You exclaim, as your grandma’s attention turns toward your older cousin, finally leaving you in the clear. 
You take a deep breath, taking another, longer drink of your wine as your watch buzzes against your wrist. 
Your eyes slyly glance down, not wanting to be accused of being rude at the dinner table, and your heart jumps dangerously in your chest as you see who is messaging you. 
‘I love my family but, god, they’re too much. Pick you up at 8? I’m using my dad’s truck.’ Paige had texted.
‘Amen. If my grandma tries to set me up again, I might just light myself on fire. See you then.’ 
The words were so simple. But there was so much more that was unspoken. And later as you finish your pie, you can’t help but think that maybe those unspoken words would finally be coming to head tonight. 
~
You stare at yourself in the mirror for the third time in five minutes, pushing your bottom lip out in a subtle pout before glancing at your phone again. 
You hadn’t seen Paige since she was in L.A playing against the Sparks this past summer, and the idea of being wrapped in her arms again, listening to the familiar sound of her heartbeat was becoming just a little overwhelming for you. 
You think back to the way you had cried the whole way home from the arena, wanting to beg her to take you with her. You had never felt so alone after that day, the realization settling in your chest with a thick, harsh finality that it was definitely more than just a tiny crush. 
You had spent years pushing your feelings down. You had become accustomed to seeking bittersweet releases in strange beds in last-minute efforts to momentarily forget the image of bright blue eyes that plagued your sleep.  
Your friends thought it was great, encouraging your forced promiscuity because they’d simply never understand. Because they weren’t Paige. 
You look back at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Blinking harshly, you look out your window, headlights illuminate your dark driveway, and your phone buzzes a moment later. 
You take a deep breath, standing up on shaky legs that carry you down and outside to meet Paige. 
The air was freezing, sucking out all of the warmth from your body. You shiver, wrapping your sweatshirt closer to you, watching as your breath escapes into the cold air in small clouds. 
You open the door to the truck, quickly hopping in and rubbing your hands together. “Fuck I forgot how cold it gets here,” you whine, noticing how the heated seat was already flipped on the passenger side for you. 
Paige chuckles, looking you up and down. “I missed you, too,” she teases, pulling you in for a hug. 
It was slightly awkward, the console pressing into your ribcage unpleasantly, but you sink into her arms, her warmth and her familiar scent putting you more at peace than you have felt in months. 
You finally pull away, your gaze locking with hers before letting it momentarily drift down to her lips and back up. She licks them as she notices you staring, forcing your eyes to quickly shift back up to hers.
“I did miss you,” you murmur, your words soft and vulnerable. 
“Course you did,” Paige laughs, throwing the truck into reverse and pulling out of your driveway. You ignore how your stomach flips as she puts her hand on the back of your seat and looks behind her as she reverses. Her hand moves across the spinning wheel with precision. 
“I miss having you drive me everywhere,” you confess wistfully, thinking back to high school and even college. She had gotten her license a month before you, but once you had yours, you rarely drove. You had always preferred her to drive you around. 
“You always were such a passenger princess.” 
The name slips off the edge of her tongue so casually, but behind your cool exterior, you were spiraling. 
She pulls into the parking lot of the high school and parks the truck, unbuckling and turning her body to face yours. 
Her hair is down, flowing over her shoulders like a soft, golden curtain, and the parking lot lights shine across her pale skin, almost making her glow.  
“How’s L.A?”
You shrug. “It's been fine. The weather is nice, and I’ve met some nice people the past few months. But it gets lonely.” 
“That’s how I feel about Dallas. But there’s talk about me getting traded,” she says looking down at her hands. 
“Traded? To where?” 
“The Sparks.” 
Your breath catches, and your eyes widen. Her face has a giant smirk that sends your heart throbbing with a rushing urgency. 
“You’re fucking joking,” you whisper. ‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Nah. I’m trying not to get my hopes up but I won’t know for sure until next month probably.” 
Your mind is flooded with images of the two of you living together in the city, but you blink them away, keeping your hopes small and quiet. 
“That’d be cool.” 
The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds before busting out in loud laughter. 
“You and Cameron Brink together would, like, change lives,” you giggle. 
“You’re just sayin’ that because you think she’s hot,” Paige says, rolling her eyes. 
“She is,” you shrug. You weren’t going to admit to Paige that you thought she was in fact hotter than Cam. That was a conversation for another time. 
~
Time flies in the small space in the front seat of the truck, and you’re shocked to look over and see the clock reading 11 pm. You stifle a yawn, despite sleeping in this morning. The warmth from the car mixing with the peace that Paige brought was enough to lull you into a blissful sleepiness. 
“You wanna sleep at mine? For old time sake?” Paige asks, voice husky and raw. 
You look back over to her, trying to memorize the slope of her nose and the curve of her mouth. She was utter perfection, always had been and always would be. And with the distance, you were afraid you were going to forget her features.
The space created between the two of you had stretched to unbearable lengths since you had both graduated college. And now, sitting here, you didn’t think you had it in you to walk away this weekend. 
So as you mumble a quick word of agreement and as Paige pulls out of the familiar parking lot, your stomach ties itself into knots. 
Because the road not taken was starting to look real good now. 
And you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to stop.
~
What did we think? Do we want a second part? Let me know:))
xoxo katy
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ddejavvu · 1 year ago
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okay so by now i think all the spencer enjoyers™️ have seen that picture of him in his white unbuttoned shirt covered in red lipstick kisses, but imagine leaving said kisses perchance? earlier season spencer would be like a puddle on the floor and it'd be too cute.
Spencer's job as Designated Driver is backfiring fast. It means that his head is completely clear as your mottled one decides it's time to waste your lipstick, lathing it onto your puckered lips and painting his face with it.
"Another one!" You declare, a giggle hanging off the edge of your voice as you reapply another smeary coat of the product. You reapply every time you kiss his cheeks, which means there's far more of the stuff on your lips than you need there to be.
"Okay that's- that's enough," Spencer reaches for the tube of lipstick, taking it from your hands and clutching it in his tight fist, "You don't need to apply any more. There's enough on your lips already, I- uh, I don't think that's how makeup works."
"But I want the kisses to be fresh," You insist, eyes wide and doe-like, sparkling with earnest, "Spence, I- if the kisses aren't fresh," You explain, voice thick and wobbly, "Then people won't see them, and people won't know you're my best friend! I have to," Your voice tapers down into a sullen whisper, "I have to mark my territory."
Spencer didn't know he was your best friend. He knew he was one of your friends, of course, but he'd have assumed your best was maybe Prentiss or Morgan. Certainly not him, not the man who time and time again fumbles his way through conversations with you because no matter how much time he spends prepping what he'll say, you always make him nervous. He can't say he's exactly calm now, with your bright kiss marks pressed to every inch of skin on his face, but he takes solace in the fact that you're not going to remember this come morning, so he can stutter all he wants and it won't affect his image.
"I think she's right, Reid," Hotch grins, though Spencer can tell the man's holding back the brunt of the expression's force. Spencer curses the man's composure; he handles liquor a lot better than you do. "I mean, God forbid people think you don't know her. It's not like she's sitting in your lap, or anything."
"Mhm!" You nod emphatically from your place in Spencer's lap, his sticky face held in your hands, "Exactly. So I need to kiss you more."
Spencer's not sure what he can say besides yes. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, make you think he doesn't want to be your best friend. Because he does, perhaps a little more than you realize. But he's not sure he can take the feeling of your lips on his face any more, for fear of turning into a melted puddle of raw awkwardness on the sticky bar floor.
He swallows the saliva that's pooled around his teeth, inhaling the scent of your strawberry shampoo, "Uh- okay. One more."
"Two more." You decide, already leaning up to press not one, not two, but three kisses to his face. One on each of his cheeks, then one that you smash against the curve of his chin. You press until it hurts, intent on really stamping the mark there.
"Perfect!" You declare, and Spencer's sure his breath is shaky when he exhales, a side effect from having your lips so tantalizingly close to his own. "Now- now I'm done." You promise, "And I'm tired, Spence." You suddenly pant, "Can I lay down on you?"
You're already in his lap. Spencer's not sure if he has any reason to say no. Well, besides his uncontrollable, embarrassingly strong, undying adoration for you. But he can't tell you that, not here, not now, so he steels himself as he nods, "Sure. Go- go ahead."
You slump down onto his shoulder so fast it almost hurts, and you're lifelessly snoozing in an instant. Spencer's sure you're not actually asleep yet, but you're so easily dead weight against him that he has to lean up against the back of his chair for support.
"No pictures." He hisses to Hotch who's already taken three, "Stop it."
"Penelope's not here," Hotch goads, sending the picture off before Spencer can demand he delete it, "Someone's gotta be the gossip."
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prentissluvr · 6 months ago
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warm brown jacket — sam winchester
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for : 200+ followers event [ open ] ➖⟢ pairing : sam winchester x gn!reader ➖⟢ genre : major fluff, friends to lovers ➖⟢ cw : mentions of canon typical gore, violence, and bloodiness at the very beginning, mentions of being casually shirtless around each other kind of?, dean teasing a little, barely edited ➖⟢ wc : 1.3K prompt : sharing clothes in a totally (not) friendly way
MOVED BLOGS TO @sammyluvr !! no longer active on this blog! all fics can be found there!
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you’re used to the grime and gore of the job; you don’t really have much of a choice. but the whole front and back of your shirt and jacket are so unpleasantly sticky from a horrid concoction of blood, mud, and maybe more, that your fingers itch to peel the layers from your body as you head for the car. of course, you’re just going to tough it out until you can shower and change at the motel. you know that sam and dean will let you take the first shower tonight; they’re not the ones who beheaded a vampire then got shoved into a mud puddle by a second right along with the decapitated body gushing blood from it’s stump of a neck. it sucked, to say the least.
you can’t resist pulling your jacket off, and you’re lucky that it gets rid of most of the mud. but it’s the front of your shirt that took the brunt of the blood, and it’s sticking to your skin, warm and just about dreadful. there’s a rustle beside you coming from sam, and you don’t have to look over to know the sounds of him taking off that big brown carhartt jacket. your favorite.
it’s only when he nudges you, holding the fabric out for you to take do you look at him. he’s got that pretty, borderline awkward smile when he’s trying to be subtly sweet. he doesn’t want to make you feel self-conscious about the mess on your clothes, but your fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt and the grimace on your face that’s so subtle just about no one else but him could spot it, and he knows instantly that the stickiness of your clothes is bothering you.
you smile at him, not too wide so you don’t accidentally show him that he makes you feel in love, and accept the jacket with one hand. you’re trying to maneuver your own mess of a jacket away, but sam takes it from you with a soft, “here, i got it,” as you near the car.
“thank you, sam,” you say, pausing at the door so you can shrug the much cleaner layer on without being confined to the small car.
“course,” he replies, all casual and kind as if he isn’t dying to see you put the jacket on. then he remembers his manners. “dean and i’ll look away if you wanna,” he forgets how to be smooth for a moment, clearing his throat as he gestures vaguely to your bloody shirt, “you know, get rid of the shirt too. ‘m sure the blood’s worse than the mud.”
“right, of course. don’t wanna get the inside of your jacket covered in the blood anyways,” you agree, glad sam said something about that because you weren’t quite sure what to do. you certainly didn’t want to keep the shirt on, and you’ve been shirtless around the boys plenty before because of the way you live out of motel rooms, but with sam so close like this, waiting for you to put on his jacket, you feel the tips of your ears go flaming hot at the idea of taking your shirt off without some sort of awkward warning. this way, sam’s being an utter gentleman and taking the shot for you when it comes to who’s the most awkward this time around.
sam gives you his silly, pursed-lip smile and his dimples pop out and all you want is to kiss them til they never go away. he slides into the car, and as the door shuts closed, you turn your back to the impala, tuck the jacket between your knees, and shimmy the mess of a shirt off your body. a chill of air hits your sort of blood-wet skin, making you shiver before you can drop the ruined shirt and pull the warm layer over yourself. but the second the soft fabric is over your shoulders, then around your arms and torso, it’s sweet heaven. sam’s body heat lingers, warming you in an instant and pushing a sigh of relief from your parted lips.
the time-worn softness of the fabric is glorious after such uncomfortable textures, and though the metal of the zipper is a little chilly against your stomach as you close the jacket around you, you couldn’t care less about that. 
a moment later, you’re settled into the back seat, trying not to look at sam to see if he’s taking in how you look in his favorite jacket. instead, you catch dean’s eye through the rearview mirror and he sends you a teasing wink that has you stuck between rolling your eyes at him and flat out planting your face into your hands to hide.
the ride is quiet save the few minutes in a fast food drive-through. dean grumbles about the restaurant’s lack of pie as he drives off in the direction of the motel.
standing in the motel room, you hate to take off the jacket, but it’s a must if you want to shower and get the rest of the day's grime off of you and down the drain. sam’s already assured you that you don’t need to wash it for him, so you leave it on the foot of your shared bed before you head to the shower. you know that he likes to pack up any piece of clothing he isn’t using right away.
you try to keep your shower short for the sake of your companions, though it's difficult when the hot water feels so comforting and cleansing. even so, being back in your own clean clothes afterwards is certainly nice as you leave the bathroom after brushing your teeth and running through your short post-shower routine.
sam’s sitting at the table across the room and dean stands from his bed, ready to shower next. you’re expecting to mourn the loss of the jacket on your bed, but your eyes immediately fall on the nicely folded bundle of brown fabric placed neatly by your pillow. unable to resist, you walk to it and pick it up, placing it on your lap as you sit on the edge of the bed. you try to catch sam’s eye to silently ask what he means by leaving it there, but it almost feels as if he’s avoiding your gaze in favor of staring at the book in front of him.
since you can’t get sam’s attention, you turn to dean before he can go, but all you get is a sly smile before he disappears into the bathroom. 
it has got to be your raging crush on pretty boy over there, sitting so close and far all at once, that’s making you jump to silly conclusions. but the barely visible blush on his cheeks, his refusal to look up when he heard you pick up the jacket, and dean’s knowing look makes it feel like sam wants you to put that jacket back on. and you do too.
so, you stand and turn as if you’re not looking at sam anymore, but you’re careful to keep him visible out of the corner of your eye as you unfold the fabric and put it back on. the ac is too strong; it’s cold, you tell yourself that’s enough of an excuse.
if you could tuck sam’s pretty brown hair behind his ears like you so often get the urge to, you bet the tips would be pink. even with his face half blurry in your peripheral, you can see the look he's giving you, because he is looking now. it’s an expression you don’t see on him often at all; he’s the kind of guy to always school his features away from betraying what he thinks and wants. this time, it’s loud and clear and you can feel it as much as see it. you, wrapped up safe and warm in his jacket, are exactly what he wants. 
you think you’re gonna kiss him, and he’s gonna kiss you back with his hands clutching at that soft brown fabric to be sure it’s all real and glorious like he thinks it is.
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lucyrose191 · 5 days ago
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CALM IN THE STORM| H.SPECTER
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Wife!reader
Summary: The entire firm knew how temperamental Harvey Specter was and whenever he was in one of those moods, they knew it was going to be a painful day, until they found the only thing that could calm him down.
Warnings: none.
Suits Master List
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Harvey Specter could be described as many things; arrogant, rude, uptight, stone-faced and most certainly hot headed. It wasn’t hard to piss him off but it was certainly difficult to calm him down and once his mood was ruined the entire day was doomed.
It was quite frankly anyone’s worst day whenever Harvey wasn’t in a good mood because they always took the brunt of it and there was no way to fix it.
Or so they thought.
If there was one thing anyone would say about Donna Paulsen, it was that she knew everything, which meant she knew exactly what would calm Harvey Specter down.
His wife.
Y/N Specter wasn’t a lawyer, she was an aerospace engineer which was just as, if not more impressive than being a lawyer and Harvey Specter worshipped the ground she walked on.
After watching Mike Ross leave Harvey’s office with near tears streaming down his face, Donna had enough and picked up the phone.
Y/N’s attention was momentarily drawn away from her computer at the sound of her office phone ringing but continued looking through data as she answered "Y/N Specter speaking."
A sigh of relief was heard through the line before Donna’s voice filtered through. "Y/N! Thank god! I don’t know what the hell is up Harvey’s arse today but he’s nearly made Mike cry three times and it’s only 10 o’clock, can you please come and save us," her husband’s secretary practically begged.
Y/N smiled, leaning back in her chair, work forgotten. This wasn’t the first time she had received a phone call like this and she found it hilarious just how much her husband built within people, he was a real softy around her.
Luckily for her, she had a lot of freedom in her role, she had proven herself for many years before that she was now able to come and go from work as she pleased, being fully trusted that no matter how often she was hear her work was always done.
"I won’t be long," she said before hanging up, not wasting time in grabbing her things to make her way to her husband’s workplace.
As she walked towards her husbands office, Y/N bit down her laughter as she saw the obvious signs of relief on everyone’s faces as she walked by.
"Y/N you have no idea how happy I am to see you," Donna greeted her as she approached her desk, "He’s miserable in there."
Y/N looked through the glass into her husbands office and found that the redhead was telling the truth, the heavy frustration on her husband’s face was hard to miss.
She gave Donna a smile before making her way into Harvey’s office.
The man sighed heavily hearing his office door open, not looking up from the case file open in front of him. “I thought I said I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
Y/N smiled, “and does that include me?”
Harvey’s head snapped up at the sweet, smooth tone of his wife’s voice, feeling the tension in his shoulders deflate just from her presence. "Y/N?”
“Hey handsome." She smirked slightly, walking around his desk, he turned in his chair just as she stood in front of him.
He looked up at her in the same way he always did, there was nothing but pure love in those eyes, “What are you doing here?"
Y/N smiled lovingly at him, stepping forward to stand between his legs, wrapping her arms around the back of his head. “You’re scaring your colleagues.”
Harvey rolled his eyes, sitting up to rest his hands on her waist. “They’re ridiculous.”
Y/N hummed, “maybe, but how could I deny the chance to come and see you?”
“Fair point, I can understand the struggle of not seeing my handsome face for a couple hours,” Harvey replied, dead serious, smiling as his wife rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle slap to the shoulder.
“What’s got you all worked up, darling?” She asked.
Harvey released a deep breath, sparing a glance to the case sitting open on his desk. “I didn’t even want to represent the guy but Jessica knows him, I know him to be a complete prick."
Y/N thought for a moment before inviting herself further into his space, forcing her way into his lap, not that he was complaining, he just tightened his grip around her, leaning back into his chair. “Well, how about I treat you to lunch?” She proposed.
Harvey smiled tiredly. “I’d love that, baby." He replied, earning a bright smile from his wife who leaned forward to press a loving kiss to his lips before standing back up, pulling him up with her,
“Come on then, we’ve kept Ray waiting long enough.”
The smile on Harvey’s face was a stark contrast to the frustration he had been hounding earlier and it was all down the angel in front of him who wouldn’t even allow him to grab his coat, too persistent in dragging him through his office door.
As they made their way out of the building, they paid no attention to the uncomfortable weight that seemed to lift from everyone’s shoulders.
One thing for sure is that the entire firm were relieved for the existence of Y/N Specter.
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wttcsms · 3 months ago
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪ if you love me right, then who knows !!
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ᝰ.ᐟ you decide it's time to let your beloved bodyguard relax. ( fem!reader )
pairing jinchul woo x reader word count 2.4k content contains breeding kink, creampie, roleplaying domesticity (pretending to be husband&wife), bodyguard!au, rich girl!reader, size difference/size kink kinktober masterlist
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It’s been a rough day, give or take. 
From the moment Jinchul Woo steps into the office, he’s been slammed with work. Hunters not returning, hunters looking to sue because of jobs gone wrong, new gates opening up at every other second, coworkers who are so swamped with work that they’re looking to pass it off to anybody and everybody — and as the chairman’s right-hand man, Jinchul gets the privilege of taking the brunt of it. How lucky is that?
And it’s because he’s the chairman’s most trusted employee (and the strongest A-Rank he has in his arsenal), that when all is said and done, the working day isn’t over for Jinchul. 
Instead of coming home to his stark apartment, empty save for the essential pieces of furniture, like a couch he put purely for its functional purposes instead of aesthetic reasons, he finds himself pulling up to a gated estate, opening the clicker so the gate opens to allow his car inside, and then he’s parking in a garage full of luxury vehicles. 
For the past month and for the foreseeable future, Jinchul Woo has been given the assignment of a lifetime: watching over the only granddaughter the chairman has. Even if Jinchul didn’t respect Go Gunhee, there would have been no room for Jinchul to deny the chairman’s request. Him asking to take care of you was just a formality. And as a formal man himself, Jinchul can respect that.
The only issue is that you’re not one for formalities. As a college-aged girl with more money and privileges than most, it’s no surprise that you’re a bit of a brat. The moment you saw Jinchul and learned that he was to be at your beck and call, Jinchul knew he was in trouble.
He just never knew just how far he’d go to reprimand you. 
It all starts off innocently enough; he supposes that’s how most things go. Gentle scoldings here, a few lectures there. But ever perceptive, Jinchul would catch the way you clench your thighs and rub them together every time he gets onto you. He notices the way you decide to walk around the mansion in pajama sets that get more revealing by the day. The way you start asking him to open jars for you and to build furniture that you don’t need. He knows better than to ever act on your desires, but his resolve to remain unaffected crumbles the second you practically pounced on him, batting your pretty lashes slick with tears, asking him why he won’t fuck you. Is it because you’re not pretty enough? Smart, driven? What is it? 
No. He thinks you’re absolutely perfect the way you are. And he spends that night fucking you, showing his devotion to you, all while reprimanding you in a way that will certainly leave an impression: spanking you for teasing him, for constantly disobeying him on purpose. 
That’s how sex usually initiates between the two of you. You decide to push his buttons and wait for him to snap. 
But Jinchul is pleasantly surprised when he walks in, slipping off his shoes and tossing aside his briefcase, only to be greeted at the sight of you on your knees, wearing an apron, smiling up at him sweetly. 
“Welcome home, husband,” You chirp cheerfully. 
For once in your dynamic, it seems like Jinchul’s the one in trouble now. 
He swallows hard, looking down at the demure sight of you. 
“Wha- what is this, exactly?” Jinchul stutters, unable to remain composed, nervously tugging at the tight knot of his work tie. 
“Can’t a wife greet her husband when he comes home?” You pout, and it all clicks. 
The guys at work always say it’s easy for Jinchul to pull in overtime and work himself to death; after all, it’s not like he has a family or a wife or even a girlfriend who’s going to stay up late, worrying about him. One night, when Jinchul decides to grab a drink after work and comes back to you, you help him onto the couch, worried. He had been too drunk to realize it at that moment, but the fact that you stayed up because he hadn’t come home to you yet makes his heart ache. (It’s why he doesn’t pull in as much overtime as he used to, no matter how hectic work gets.) That night, he admits that it’d be nice to have a wife and start a family, to have something distract him from work, to pull him out of the misery of paperwork and other people’s troubles. 
He didn’t realize how that drunken confession would impact you. 
He runs a hand through his blond hair, messing up the styled strands, disrupting the hair gel. “Get up, honey.” He tacks on the pet name, trying it out for the first time. It rolls off his tongue easily, a little too easy, really. He pats your head, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him how much larger his hand looks when it’s anywhere near your body as opposed to his own. 
“That’s not fair. I wanted to treat you to something special.” You get up, though you’re still pouting. 
“Oh, yeah?” He’s walking to the kitchen, wondering whether it would just be easier to order takeout, before the scent of a home cooked meal hits him. “Did you cook?”
“Of course, I did.” You cross your arms, bringing attention to the pink apron you’re wearing. “Why wouldn’t I?” You seem happy that he’s surprised about this. “Now go to the dining room, and you’ll see that I already have your plate ready! Just wait a second, though. I have to reheat the soup.” 
Jinchul doesn’t go to the dining room, though. He remains rooted in his spot because he’s frozen at the view you’re giving him when you turn around. Underneath the apron, you’re wearing nothing. Not even a pair of panties. You’re crouching down a bit to bring your mouth closer to the pot of soup, and you’re sipping from the ladle, testing to see whether it’s warm enough or not. 
“Ah!” You let out a squeal when you feel the muscular body of Jinchul, the only thing separating him from you being the stiff fabric of his suit. Quick with his reflexes, Jinchul reaches from behind you to catch the ladle before it falls into the pot, potentially splattering you with hot soup. He places it gently in, before shutting off the stove entirely. 
“Jinchul.” You whine, bending awkwardly to try to look at him. “The food will get cold.” 
“I know, but can’t a husband just take a moment to appreciate his wife?” You love it when Jinchul’s voice gets all low and husky like this, every word he says coated in his dark desire. His large hands grip your waist, squeezing you gently but firmly, and you feel the growing bulge of his cock straining against his suit pants. “If I knew you went through all this trouble, I would’ve told the guys at work to fuck off so I could come home to you sooner.” He whispers this in your ear, leaning down. The strands of his hair tickle your cheeks, and before you can tell him that it’s okay, he’s spinning you around to face him. 
You look up at him, and he’s grinning, licking his lips as he stares down at you. “I’m sorry, honey, I know you worked hard but dinner’s going to have to wait. I need to fuck you.” His tone lowers a bit more. “Can I fuck you, honey?” 
“Of course.” You choke out the words, too caught up in just how hot Jinchul looks when he’s unbearably horny. He’s so careful, so put together, so stoic in his everyday life. It suddenly occurs to you that when he’s with you, this is the only time he gets to be a little unhinged, to relieve his stress. 
He’s easily picking you up, placing you right on the granite island of the kitchen. Even sitting on the elevated surface, you still have to look up at Jinchul, and he still has to lean down to crash his lips into yours. You moan into his mouth, enjoying how messy and sloppy Jinchul makes out with you. It’s a stark difference from how he handles everything else in his life, and you want to unravel him just a bit more. 
While he’s sloppily kissing you, swapping spit and swallowing up your moans, he’s making quick work of the bow of your apron, untying the knot and slipping off the tiny strip of fabric from your body. The cold air of the mansion hits you in full force, and you shiver a bit. 
“Spread your legs for me.” He grunts out, when he momentarily separates from you, and you comply. He takes a sharp breath, admiring the way your folds are already glistening, how you’re already wet for him. “Were you this wet the entire time?” He asks, dragging his index and middle fingers against your slit. 
You nod, knowing that anything you say will only be caught in between your little pleasured mewls. 
“You got wet waiting for me to come home? What were you thinking about?” 
“I-I wanted to welcome you home with a blowjob before you ate dinner.” You confess, more slick being produced when the fantasy re-enters your mind. 
His eyes darken at the sound of that. “Yeah? Fuck — you’re such a good wife, you know that?” The tips of his long fingers tease your soaked entrance, and he leans down to whisper in your ear. “We’ll have more nights for you to do that, don’t worry. But tonight, I’m going to be a good husband and treat you so well. You know what good girls like you deserve?” 
You shake your head, not knowing what filth might come out of Jinchul’s mouth.
“You deserve to have me fucking a baby into you. You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He chuckles, feeling the way your hole clings to the tips of his fingers, eager for more, desperate for it. “Yeah, I knew you would.” 
Jinchul makes quick work of his pants, undoing his belt and unzipping his trousers, pushing down the layers of fabric ‘til his cock can finally spring free from its confines. He pumps his cock once, twice, but he’s too starved of you to do much more. You’re so wet, the need for prep has long since disappeared, and besides, Jinchul’s fucked you like this many times before. Before you took on the role of wife, you were the brat he had to babysit, and to teach you a lesson, he’s fucked your cunt with no courtesy orgasm to prepare you. 
And you love it. 
You’re already writhing, laying down on the cold granite of the counter as you spread your legs, inviting Jinchul in, gasping and moaning at the way he taps the head of his cock teasingly against your slit before inserting the head in. He’s in love with the sight of his long cock disappearing into your wet, tight cunt. 
“I’m gonna make you feel so good, honey.” He grunts out, sliding his cock further into you ‘til he’s balls deep. You haven’t stopped moaning the entire time. 
He leans down to capture one of your breasts in his mouth, sucking and biting at the soft flesh as he starts steadily pounding into you, getting into that quick, jagged rhythm of his that he’s particularly fond of when he’s in a rush to cum. His mouth moves upwards, sucking and kissing at your collarbone, moving further up until he’s planting a kiss right on your lips, inhaling your moans of pleasure, keeping up with his same, quick pace, battering away at your cervix. 
“Feels good, doesn’t it, honey?” He asks you, feeling the way you tighten up. “Yeah, I knew my little wife would love this. You ready for me to get you pregnant, sweetheart?” He coos, and you can’t help but nod. A little Jinchul running around wouldn’t be too bad, right? In fact, right now, with his dick making you see nothing but stars, you think several tiny Jinchuls would be a dream come true. 
You can’t answer him using your voice, but you do wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him in place as if he was going to run off. He smiles at your reaction, taking a calloused thumb to rub circles against your clit, relishing in the feel of your walls tightening around him. 
“Ah, ah, ah!” You squeal out, before letting out a jumbled stream of syllables that sounds distinctly like his name. You’re creaming all over him and his cock, the cock that’s splitting you open, the cock that’s going to get you fucking nice and bred, all for him, only for him. His grin is feral as he continues with his thrust, now content to chase after his own high. The ring of white circling around his cock only motivates him further, and he’s shoving himself deep inside of your messy cunt as he cums. 
Shooting copious amounts of thick, white cum right at the entrance of your cervix, practically straight into your fucking womb, Jinchul still keeps rutting his hips until you let out a weak whine. 
“Aw, are you too tired, honey?” He asks you, giving you a forehead kiss. “Just give me a second, okay?” He tells you, waiting for the pleasure of your walls clamping on his dick to subside. Even after his cock gets too sensitive and begs for relief, he remains inside of you, still wanting to enjoy the feeling of your cunt twitching around his cock, swallowing up his cum. 
He rests his forehead against your own. “You feeling alright, honey?” Even though the act should be over, Jinchul is still calling you by that pet name, and you love it. You don’t protest it, but you try not to draw attention to it, out of fear that he’ll realize he should stop pretending and shatter the illusion. Despite his cock plugging you up, a trickle of the mixture of your shared cum is trickling out of your cunt, and you let out a mhm. 
“Ah, I should get up and reheat the soup for you.” You mumble, struggling to lift yourself from the counter. He only pushes you back down, shushing you. 
“You should rest. Let me heat it up.” Jinchul’s hand finds your own, and he’s entangling your fingers together. “But let’s stay like this just a little bit longer.” 
You don’t complain, letting the warmth of Jinchul blanket you. You want to stay together like this forever.
(And he does, too.)
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am-i-interrupting · 4 days ago
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Across the River | Viktor x Jinx’s Older Sibling
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Chapter 5: Defying the Laws
Summary: After the explosion and disappearance of Vi, you take your little sister across the river to Piltover. You struggle to keep the two of you afloat but manage to get Jinx to the academy. This is where she procures an internship that changes your lives.
Five months into her assistant career is what it took before Jinx saw the beginnings of Hextech. Jayce had been the one to offer to show her what Hextech looked like in practice after realizing that she’d only been practicing in theory.
Viktor shocked his head with a small smile when Jayce brought out the stabilizer they’d made those many years ago. Now tweaked to better preform than it once had.
Jinx was the one who laid the orb into the contraption. It slipped from her fingertips and caught in her long nails before she gently let it plop into place.
Jayce turned the dial and it sparked to life before the room engulfed in blue for a moment. It twinkled out as things began floating.
“Turn it off,” Viktor said almost as soon as the room went back to its natural coloring.
“What?”
Viktor gestured towards Jinx’s. Her eyes were wide but not in the excited way more so in the hallowed, haunted way.
Her breathing was labored. It huffed out harshly. Like she’d been running for miles without a break.
Jayce quickly shut off the device. While Viktor and Jayce landed in their original places with grace, Jinx fell to the ground.
Her knees took the brunt of the fall as her hands came up to her head. She stared off into space.
“Jinx,” Jayce said softly as he approached her, his hand extended.
“No,” she said, voice cracking, “no.” Her head tipped forward against the ground. “It was a mistake.”
Jayce’s hand pressed against her shoulder. She bolted up and jerked away like he’d just slapped her. Tears were prickling at her eyes, waiting to fall.
“It was a mistake,” she repeated right before they fell.
She kept repeating the words to herself like a mantra.
“Go get her sister,” Viktor told Jayce.
Jayce looked between the two of them. Viktor gave a soft nod, a silent “I’ve got her.” Jayce bolted out of the door.
“I didn’t mean to,” Jinx said.
Viktor slid down into the floor, using his crutch to make sure he didn’t topple. Slowly, he placed it on the ground.
“I was just trying to help,” she said, a sob beginning to tear through her. “I was going to save them.”
Viktor sat with her on the cold floor.
The door to the shop didn’t normally open unless someone was getting something fixed or picking it up. It certainly never chimed open followed by hurried footsteps of someone who’d been running.
You looked over the automobile you were working on and saw none other than Jayce Talis looking frantic. Immediately you were on your feet.
“Jinx,” he said, “she needs you.”
“Kash, I’m gone!” you yelled as you ran to the door.
“Wait—“
“Jinx,” was all you said.
“Go,” Kash said, granting his permission. Not that you needed it.
It felt like it took forever to get to the Academy. Only when you were anxiously waiting in the elevator did you ask what happened.
“I don’t know,” Jayce said. “We were showing her some stuff with Hextech and she just started freaking out.”
“Shut up,” Jinx said in a quiet voice despite Viktor not saying a thing. “I was trying to save you!” Her head whipped around to behind her shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Such a stark contrast to the yell that had just ripped through her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was a mistake.”
It was then that the door opened. Viktor didn’t turn to see who it was though from the sound of the footsteps, Jayce was certainly there so the other pair were bound to be you.
“Hey,” you said as you dropped to your knees next to Viktor and Jinx. “What’s wrong?”
“They won’t stop yelling,” Jinx said.
You extended your arms to her and she leaned into them. You cradled her close. You took out the pins in her hair and her braids fell down.
“You did nothing wrong,” you told her.
“I jinxed it,” she said through sobs wracking through her body. “I always do.”
“You don’t jinx anything.”
She kept muttering. You began to rock her. Softly shushing her before you began to sing.
“Dear friend, across the river
My hands are cold and bare
Dear friend, across the river
I’ll take what you can spare”
You continued on as Jinx’s sobs slowly began to fade.
“Mom,” she said.
She curled her arms tighter around you and stuck her face between your neck and shoulder. She didn’t care that she got axle grease on her skin. Your purple blue hair covered her face in a blanket of security.
She shaking it joined your soft singing.
“I ask if you a penny
My fortune it will be
I ask you without envy”
Viktor raised his head and looked up at Jayce. Jayce met his gaze.
There was clearly much neither new about their assistant. Much to learn. Careful waters to tread.
What had happened to this young woman? What had happened to the both of you? Why such an adverse reaction? So many questions and no answers.
It took a while before Jinx’s breathing went even and her eyes fell closed. Her hands that had a death grip on your clothes went lax.
“Show me what happened,” you said.
Viktor and Jayce shared a glance. Inhaling deeply, Jayce picked up Jinx from your grasp. He walked over to a small door that led to their break room of sorts. Inside was a couch that he laid her on.
Viktor stood and walked over to the stabilizer. He waited until Jayce clicked the door shut to begin fiddling with the dials.
The same series of events happened as the first time earlier in the day.
“Good job—“
One, two, three explosions.
“Claggor!”
A hand pushed you. Just as something few where you had been. The space now taken up by your friend. His goggles were knocked off his face. Blood splattered against them as you were thrown through the hole in the wall.
You fell down. At a rapid speed. Your head smashed into the pavement. Something was coming toward you from above. You tried to move out of the way.
Your world went dark.
Your eyes closed. Your jaw clenched. Your hand came up to block your face. You fell against a floor of tiles.
A hand was placed atop your own. Slowly you let it guide your hand away from your face.
A muffled voice surrounded you.
That hand was still on your own. You let it guide you to a firm surface. Up and down it went in a slow, steady rhythm. Your fingers twitched, something bunched beneath them.
You tried to focus on that rhythm. The feel of the soft. . . fabric(?) beneath your hand.
You found yourself wheezing out breathes in harsh huffs. You tried to steady it but the sharp burning behind your nose did nothing to help. Your leg curled up beneath you. You could feel the pain that should be long gone given the several year old scar but it never vanished.
“Breathe in,” a thickly accented voice instructed. “Breathe out. Good. Repeat. Breathe in. Breathe out. Very good.”
You followed the demands of the voice you distantly recognized.
When your eyes opened, you were faced with tiled floors. A pair of legs bent at the knees right beside yours. A white vest and tie against a red shirt. A long, dexterous artist’s hand pressed against yours.
“Are you back with us?” A different voice asked as the accented one continued on.
You nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think so,” your voice felt thick on your tongue. “Whatever that was, don’t show it to Powder again.”
“Powder,” the accented voice, which you now processed as belonging to Viktor, repeated. His voice curled nicely around the name.
You shook yourself. “Fuck. Jinx. Don’t show it to Jinx again.” You took a few more steadying breaths. “Whatever else you’ve been doing with Hextech, sure, but not that.”
“Can you explain what just happened?” Jayce asked.
“That,” you pointed to the contraption, “killed our family.”
Jayce and Viktor looked at each other, both with furrowed eye brows.
“How did. . .” Viktor’s voice trailed off.
“Wait a second,” Jayce muttered to himself. “There were four suspects, two boys and two girls. One with. . . blue hair. Did Jinx steal my prototype?”
“We’ve all stolen from a lot of people,” you said as you stood up. Viktor’s hand steadied your calf and thigh when you wobbled a bit. “I don’t keep track of from who.”
You brushed past Jayce and went directly to the room that held your sister.
“Stolen from a lot of people?” Jayce repeated.
Viktor grabbed his crutch and stood up, accepting Jayce’s offered hand. “You don’t know what it’s like in the Undercity,” Viktor reminded him. “You go home. I’ll stay with them.”
“Are you—“
“Go, Jayce,” Viktor said, a rare authority ringing in his tone. “I’ll stay with them.”
Slowly Jayce gathered his things and headed home for the night. Viktor knocked on the door with soft raps before he opened the door.
You were sitting in the floor, holding Jinx’s hand that hang from the couch in yours. It draped across your shoulder. You looked up at Viktor and then looked away.
He took a seat in the plush chair across from the two of you. He sighed as his aching bones relaxed just the slightest.
“When I was eight, I tried to steal food from some riverside restaurant. I wasn’t fast. I got caught,” he said. “I was ten when I attempted to steal again. It was after my parents died in the mines.”
“Are you trying to make me let my guard? Admit to something I’m not even sure she did,” that was a lie. You did know but no need to tell him that.
He shook his head, his lip went inward a bit as the edges tilted down. “No, no, I’m simply telling you I understand.”
You exhaled through your nose and leaned your head against Jinx’s arm.
Silence came between the two of you. It wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t kind. It just was.
There hasn’t been much silence in your life ever. Not in Piltover. Certainly not in the Undercity. It was nice.
Viktor broke it, “She called you mom. You’re not. . .?”
“No,” you said, voice barely above a whisper, “no. She doesn’t really remember our parents much but mom always smelled like axel grease, she sang that song, and we have the same color hair. When she’s out of it, sometimes she gets confused.”
He hummed. “How often is she ‘out of it?’”
“Often enough that I’m used to her talking to people who aren’t there. It’s rare that it gets this bad though,” you told him.
“And do you?”
“No,” you answered. “What happened happened when she was pretty young. I was lucky enough to be old enough to understand when everything happened, all the time. I guess that’s a benefit to being the oldest.”
“How much older are you?” he asked.
“About eight years, give or take.”
“Your family?”
“All dead. Mom and dad died during the battle at the bridge. I was thirteen, Jinx was five? Vander and. . . our siblings died in an explosion when she was ten.”
“That must have been difficult.”
“I don’t want your pity.”
“You don’t have it,” he said. “I understand. I don’t have siblings but my parents died when I was young. For about a year I was by myself before I was taken in by a man but that didn’t last,” he told you. You met his eyes, golden like honey. “She’s lucky to have you.”
“I think it’s the other way around,” you said.
“It can be both.”
“Thank you for staying with her,” you said. “A lot of people don’t.”
“Of course.”
He said it like it was so easy. Like it was nothing. Like you hadn’t had people yell at you when you were on the streets and she started muttering to herself that you needed to take her to her parents and get her evaluated as she started hitting her head.
He said it like it was simple.
Maybe with him it could be.
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fandoms-x-reader · 6 months ago
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Teenage! MC
Requested By: @opiopal
Headcannons
Summary: How the brothers' would act around you if you were a teenager that got sent to the Devildom. The brothers x MC platonically / sibling relationship
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Lucifer felt a bit guilty when it came to you. He was the one who was in charge of picking the human for the exchange student program. So, by default, he was the reason you got ripped from your life and brought down to the human world.
He was surprised by how well you had adjusted to life there. You did your best to be respectful, did your homework, and had great manners.
Lucifer dared to say you behaved better than his brothers who were centuries years old.
But, you still had your moments that baffled Lucifer and made him mentally face-palm.
You were in a student council meeting with Lord Diavolo and the others; and, you dared to call Lord Diavolo “dude”. 
A collection of gaps broke out across the room when the word left your lips. You called the future King of the Devildom “dude”! You could see some of the brothers - mostly Belphie - stifling their laughter at the situation.
But, Lucifer was completely mortified. His eyes were wide and his expression looked flushed. He couldn’t believe your audacity.
Luckily, Diavolo laughed the whole situation off. He found it amusing.
But that didn’t stop Lucifer from giving you a long lecture on how you were to never do that again.
And the next time you came face-to-face with Diavolo, Lucifer was on high alert, ready to clasp his hand over your mouth every time you said any word that started with the letter ‘D’. Just to make sure that never happened again.
Lucifer was used to being the head of the household and making sure everyone did their daily chores and kept up with their studies.
And you were no exception to that, so Lucifer didn’t think twice about it when he asked you to do a simple chore.
But you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, it was very early in the morning, and you weren’t in the mood. All you wanted was to eat your breakfast in peace. You just wanted a moment of silence before you had to go to school.
“Y/N, you need to clean your bedroom after you get home from RAD today,” Lucifer stated simply, continuing to eat his breakfast. It was a simple request that certainly didn’t warrant a sassy response. But it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and a sassy response is exactly what he got.
You had a stoic expression on your face, barely missing a beat before you replied with, “And you and Lord Diavolo need to kiss already but neither of those things are going to happen so let’s not talk about it at 6 am.”
You hadn’t looked up from your plate yet, but you could imagine the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. Especially Lucifer’s.
“Well, we’ve gotta get to RAD,” Mammon stated, practically pulling you up from your chair. He had seen that look on Lucifer’s face too many times and he knew exactly what followed afterwards. 
The other brothers quickly joined the two of you. Lucifer was not used to being defied and he was most certainly not going to be happy with the way you talked back to him.
The brothers found it amusing nonetheless. A teenager standing up to Lucifer of all people. And you didn’t even have a look of fear in your eyes!
Lucifer loved having you around. You were a welcome addition to the family. But he definitely got the brunt of your witty remarks and side comments.
And he had no idea how to handle it. It’s not like he could punish you like he did his brothers. You would barely survive half of them.
For once in his life Lucifer felt defeated…by a teenager.
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Mammon still tries to impress you as a teenager. But not in the same way. He wants to come off as the “cool” brother. The one that will let you stay out later than you’re supposed to, and take you for rides in his car, blasting music. 
Mammon loved it. Having you around made him want to be a good role model despite his spending tendencies.
He would still be a bit possessive of you. Only because he doesn’t want his brothers influencing you. Only he was allowed to show you things around the Devildom.
He wanted you to like everything he liked and hate everything he did. Movies? You liked the classic Devildom action movies, right? You didn’t like horror movies, right?!
And you loved going gambling with him, right? Didn’t you think it was so fun watching him win? Of course, he had to lie about your age to get you through the doors of the casino. But that just added to the fun of it.
And please don’t ever mention anything about witches to either of you. You both hated them with a passion. At least, Mammon will say that if someone ever did bring up the “w” word.
The truth is, that Mammon felt guilty about leaving that little girl he had found with the witches. It was for the best that she stayed up there in the human world. But, he couldn’t help but wonder if he would have been able to take care of her himself. 
And although you were more like another sibling than a child to Mammon, he wanted the chance to start redeeming himself. For the first time in his life, he wanted to be responsible for someone. Please be his mini-me.
But being responsible meant that sometimes he had to be more assertive than fun. Especially if you were putting yourself in danger.
You didn’t think you were. You thought that going out with Simeon and Solomon would be fine. You were just hanging out around town for a bit before heading back to the House of Lamentation.
But, you forgot to text the brothers that you were with them and when you hadn’t gotten home in time, Mammon snapped.
Worry filled his heart and directed his mind.
When he finally found you in town with Simeon and Solomon, relief came in waves. 
He took you back to the House of Lamentation, despite your protests. And, as soon as you were back, Mammon decided to give you a lecture. He had learned how to do it from the best, after all.
“What do ya think you were doing? You almost gave me a heart attack,” Mammon stated as you began walking to your room.
“We were just walking around town. Don’t you trust Solomon and Simeon?” you questioned, crossing your arms over your chest as you stood outside your bedroom door.
“I don’t trust ya out there by yourself without one of us to protect ya,” Mammon countered.
He didn’t mean it to come out the way it did. He was just worried about you. But, you were angry with his words. You were frustrated that he was treating you like a child so you replied with the first thing that came to your mind.
“Your whole thing is being a crow in a flesh suit. I really don’t want to listen to someone who would stop everything that’s happening in their life to pick up something shiny from off the ground.”
You entered your room before he could respond and closed the door on his face. Mammon stood there in shock while Levi and Asmo began snickering in the background. They couldn’t deny the truth in your words.
Mammon was stubborn when he wanted to be and that left the two of you giving each other the silent treatment. Just like he would do with any of his other siblings.
But, eventually, he apologized. Especially when he saw you growing closer to his other brothers in his absence.
Please forgive him. All of his other brothers have told them they wished he wasn’t their brother or part of their family. He can’t handle hearing that from you too.
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If you were a teenager who liked going out and doing things on a regular basis, you and Levi probably wouldn’t have a lot in common. And it would be hard to spend time with him.
But, if you were a teenager who liked watching anime and playing video games, you and Levi would be best friends. 
He was still wary of you at first. After all, you were a normie. And even if you were a teenage normie, he could never be too careful.
He’ll slowly open up to you though. If you impress him with your own otaku skills, the process will be even faster. Deep down, Levi just wants a friend who likes the same things he likes.
He wanted someone he could talk to. Someone who wouldn’t brush him off or tell them that he wasn’t making any sense.
Levi will invite you over to play games with him often. He enjoys playing with someone who is actually competent.
But even he isn’t safe from how sassy you could be. And if you and Levi played a game against each other, your competitive side came out and so did the sassy comments on both sides.
Levi had heard of a fighting game that was very popular up in the human world and he was dying to try it. He wanted to know how it compared to the fighting games that they have in the Devildom.
Let the trash-talking commence.
You’ll surprise Levi with the first couple of things you say. But he’ll quickly begin to fight back with his own remarks. Both of you fight diligently with both your words and the controllers.
And, when you start winning, Levi’s jealousy starts getting the better of him. He’ll tell you things like “You’re cheating” or “It’s because it’s a game from the human world.”
“Come on, Levi, just admit you’re not as skilled as me in video games,” you retorted. His eyes were now glowing as his fingers were pushing the buttons on the controller rapidly. He had to win.
“I won!” you exclaimed with a proud smile. That smile faltered though when you saw Levi’s expression. A dark aura surrounded him as he stated in a low voice, “I want a rematch.”
“Yeah, and I want a million dollars. But right now I don’t feel like beating an old man who’s lost his reaction time at a videogame…again,” you replied, before getting up and leaving.
Levi let out a small gasp as you left the room. Old man?! I mean, he technically was considering he was at least a few centuries old. But he has not lost his reaction time!! How could you say something so rude to him? He just needed practice, that was all.
Levi will pester you for the next few days, begging you to play with him. He’ll tell you his reaction time is better and that he won’t lose. He won’t give up until you either tell him that you think he’s a great gamer or until he beats you in the game. 
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Satan will take it upon himself to be the one who helps you with all of your studies. He usually won’t be the one who encourages you to neglect your education in favor of having some fun.
He would rather ensure your success. He wants you to be at the top of the class, with his help. He just wanted the best for you. And he wanted to rub it in Lucifer’s face later.
He’ll always suggest the two of you have tutoring sessions where he can help make sure you understand the lessons that are being taught.
He’ll stay late after class or show up early. He’ll meet you at the library or at the cafe. Wherever you would agree to meet him.
And although you appreciated him trying to help you, sometimes it was a bit much. Especially when it was early in the morning.
Which is exactly when Satan decided to have your latest study session. You were barely awake and hadn’t had any food or coffee yet.
You were sitting at a table, your books opened in front of you as Satan went on a rant about one of the lessons. Your mind was barely keeping up with what he was saying.
All you wanted to do was go back to bed, but Satan’s rant was never-ending as he tried explaining all the intricacies of the subject you were studying. 
You finally had enough when you had to catch yourself from falling out of your chair after you had accidentally fallen asleep.
“Okay, Satan, look I love you, but I hardly remember the difference between a verb and a noun so I have no idea what the actual fuck you are saying with your mouth and your face right now,” you stated.
Satan was taken aback at your sudden outburst. His eyes were wide as he suddenly took in your tired look. Normally, he would argue that it’s important to study. But, today he responded with, “We can pick this up later.”
You were thankful that you were finally able to return to your room and Satan was more careful about planning your study sessions. He’ll do his best not to overwhelm you again. 
Also, don’t think Satan was only serious around you. Satan had a very playful nature, especially when it came to Lucifer. And you were the perfect vessel for some of his pranks.
Satan knew that Lucifer couldn’t do anything towards you so he would beg you to be part of his pranks that he and Belphie would play on Lucifer. You were an integral part of the Anti-Lucifer league after all.
Sometimes you were bait, luring Lucifer into staying in a specific spot for too long. Sometimes, you were the one who actually set off the prank while Satan or Belphie distracted the eldest.
It hardly ever worked. Lucifer almost always knew what the three of you were up to. But it didn’t stop any of you from trying.
Satan thoroughly enjoyed having you there to help him. He believed you fit in with the family perfectly. 
He also related to you the most as you were both considered “late-comers” to the party. Neither of you had been angels, and although you weren’t a demon, Satan still felt like he connected with you.
You never made him feel like you were better than him or like he wasn’t his own person and he was thankful to have a sibling like that.
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Asmo thinks you are the most adorable thing in the world. He was the first one to dote on you out of all his brothers. How could he not?
Asmo is very accepting of you from the start and thinks of you as family almost right away.
He’s like Mammon in the sense that he wants to be the one to show you around the Devildom and teach you all the tricks he knows.
He wants to show you how to charm people and get them under your spell. Of course, he has to approve of the person you’re trying to charm and he’ll only let it go so far.
He’s the Avatar of Lust - but NO PDA. You were too young for that and these were demons after all. He didn’t trust a single one of them.
He’ll only let you try your charm on age-appropriate people and only until you have them hooked so that you know how to do it. Then, he’ll charm the person to go away himself. 
You better believe he also wanted to dress you up in all of the outfits in the Devildom. He loved taking pictures of you and posting them on Devilgram with captions like “Look at my lovely sibling! Aren’t they cutest?!”
But it could be overwhelming sometimes. The constant shopping trips and photo ops. The constant fashion shows and meeting new people all the time.
Adjusting to the Devildom was a task on its own and there were times when you just needed to be alone and recharge your social battery. Times when you just needed some peace and quiet.
You were trying on the sixth outfit of the night in Asmo’s bedroom. You had asked if you could be done on outfit number three. All you wanted to do was go to your room and relax.
Asmo promised the two of you would be done soon, but you saw no end in sight.
“Only a few more,” Asmo told you, shoving his arms full of clothes.
You let out a groan and Asmo turned to face you. You finally let the words you’d been holding back fly out of your mouth.
“Asmo, I know you’re too glam to give a damn, but I’m not your personal mannequin and all I want to do is lay down and relax!” you shouted, feeling relieved as you finally spoke the truth that was weighing you down.
Asmo isn’t used to you snapping at him like this, so he’ll give you some time to calm down. He doesn’t want to keep pushing your buttons.
Once you start talking to him again, he’ll want to do a spa day with you instead of going shopping. He’ll pay more attention to your needs and he won’t force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
At the end of the day, Asmo is a very caring sibling and only wants the best for his family.
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The first time Beel saw you, he couldn’t help but think about how much you reminded him of Lilith.
It was simple things. Things he noticed just from where he was standing in the assembly hall when you first came to the Devildom.
Your big and innocent eyes. Your gentle and loving smile. You were so full of life, just like she was.
It didn’t take long for Beel to take you under his wing and decide to protect you. He acted like an older sibling and he was always there for you.
If you were upset, he’d find a way to cheer you up. If you were bored, he’d try to entertain you. If you were hungry - he knew just the cure!
When he found out that you had a connection to Lilith, Beel was ecstatic. It wasn’t your connection to Lilith that made Beel love you more. You were your own person and he’d never compare you to his little sister.
It was the fact that your connection to Lilith meant that you truly were part of the family. That you belonged no matter what obstacles stood in the way. It didn’t matter if you were human - he would always think of you as family.
When Belphie attacked you and killed you, Beel really thought he failed. He was plagued with images of Lilith dying. Belphie didn’t understand what he was doing - how Beel felt about you.
He didn’t understand how badly it hurt Beel to watch someone he thought of as a younger sibling die in front of him - again. 
When he saw that you were alive he had never felt more relieved. He promised you he would never let anything happen to you again. That he would protect you like any good big brother would.
And he was the perfect older sibling - for the most part. 
Lucifer had taken you up to the human world for a task. While you were up there, he allowed you to get whatever you wanted and bring it back down to Devildom.
You shopped around for a bit until you saw a supply of food that you used to eat all of the time. Food that reminded you of your childhood.
You immediately got it and brought it back with you.
You wanted to shower before you ate it because it had been a long day but when you returned to the kitchen, you were heartbroken at the sight in front of you.
Beel had eaten all of it! You didn’t even get to have a single bite of it. You could feel the emotions building up in you. Mostly because of the nostalgia that came with the food.
“Beel,” you stated, pausing for a moment to stabilize your wavering voice. “How could you?” you asked.
Beel looked up innocently from the food, a questioning look. He didn’t have the slightest clue what he did wrong.
“I get that you're a bottomless pit and that you're practically Kirby on steroids. But can't you just for once think about what you're eating before you eat it!” you stated before storming off.
The next day, Beel made sure to get the same food for you and brought it to your room as an apology.
He would do his best to never eat your food without asking again because he realized teenagers could be scary when they were hangry.
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Belphie obviously doesn’t have a good first impression of you. You had never done anything to him, he just innately hated you because of the fact that you were human.
He attacked you with no remorse until he saw how it affected his brothers. They were so upset about losing you and he couldn’t comprehend why.
He saw the way they embraced you when they found out you were alive and the scene triggered something in his brain. A memory of someone he loved the same way.
Belphie didn’t attack you again, despite his instincts telling him to do so. He was curious to see what all the fuss was about. 
Things between you and Belphie were tense for a while. You knew that he hated you because you were a human. But it’s not like you could do anything about it. There was no way for you to change your race, and even if there was, you wouldn’t do it just to appease Belphie.
Like Beel, the more time he spent around you, the more he saw you as a younger sibling.
He would protect you like an older brother, but he was the least serious out of all the demon brothers.
Your carefree nature was one of the things he adored. He enjoyed watching you be improper in front of Diavolo and the way it made Lucifer look like he was going to pop a blood vessel.
The way you talked back to Lucifer also entertained him. It was something all of the brothers wanted to do at one point or another, but they didn’t have the luxury to do so.
Yet you were just a teenage human and you dared to stand up to the Morningstar himself.
The first time you did it, Belphie immediately deemed you a worthy member of the Anti-Lucifer League. 
He had so much fun pranking Lucifer with you and Satan and he was thankful that you had brought him closer to the fourth-eldest.
He never once judged you for your sass or asked you to tone it down. He loved it because he could be just as witty when he wanted to be.
He also never thought that your sass would be directed towards him.
That was until you got caught in the crossfires of one of their pranks. 
Satan and Belphie had neglected to tell you that they had placed a cursed object in the living room, expecting Lucifer to pick it up. You found it first though.
The second you touched it, your entire body immediately froze and you were unable to move or speak.
Belphie and Satan came in with proud smiles on their faces until they saw that the person they had cursed was you.
They immediately rushed to your aid and Satan began saying spell after spell to try and undo the magic. 
Lucifer had entered the scene at some point and was holding back his scolding until after Satan had remedied the situation.
As soon as you were free you turned to all three men and stated, “I know this was your idea, Belphegor. I’ve had it with all the pranks. They’re silly, they take a ton of time to prepare and they never even actually hit Lucifer! It always fails or hits whoever else happens to fall for it.”
“Satan, I know that you don’t like Lucifer because you were born from him, but the only one who actually makes a big deal out of it is you! And Belphie, you are the youngest brother! Everyone dotes on you so stop acting like Carrie at the prom because you fit in just fine. And Lucifer, for the love of all things would it kill you to tell your brothers that you love them at least once in a while so that I don’t have to suffer through pranks like these anymore!”
At some point, your rant had attracted the other members of the House of Lamentation who were all looking at you with wide eyes.
You were a sassy human, but you were their human. You were part of their family and you did fit right in. They were proud to call you their human.
Especially Belphie who was somewhat glad that not even he was safe from your rants when you had been pushed to your limit.
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chipster-321 · 1 year ago
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Listen…it never occurred to me that Fizz WASN’T WEARING JESTER MAKE UP.
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His entire face is one massive scar…and that red spot isn’t lipstick…it’s the one spot that didn’t take the full brunt explosion thanks to the clown nose…
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I don’t know if people already figured that out but I certainly hadn’t. And Christ the full extent of his injury…
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He lost his legs quickly in one go but his arms…omg Fizz 🥺
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We already knew he must have lost his legs and arms and horns in the accident but omg seeing it…we were not prepared…
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umemiyan · 30 days ago
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𝙄𝙉 𝘽𝙀𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙄𝙁𝙐𝙇 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈𝙎.
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𝗬𝗨𝗨𝗧𝗔 𝗢𝗞𝗞𝗢𝗧𝗦𝗨 𝗫 𝗔𝗙𝗔𝗕!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ 18+ only, mdni / incest / noncon somnophilia (char. receiving) / so like… kinda dom!reader if you wanna look at it like that, but it’s not really a hard dynamic in this / unprotected piv / some codependent vibes / reader has a vagina but there are no other physical or gendered descriptors / 3.2k words
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notes: this was supposed to be for kinktober with the prompts incest + somnophilia, and i'm a whole month late but here we are!!! once again i have managed to have no chill and have overdone it a bit so it took me forever. but enjoy! thank you to everyone who originally voted in my kinktober polls <3 (moon dividers by cafekitsune)
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He never sleeps as well as when he’s with you, and that has never been less than fact.
The dark circles under his eyes had settled in after years of strife and the both of you growing “too old” to sleep side by side, at least according to your family. It wasn’t healthy, they said. You needed to learn to respectively mature on your own, they said.
Yuuta tried. He did. Although he had been steered away from his one shining beacon of light in a world full of darkness, what sort of brother would he be if he held you back from growing into the best version of yourself? To be selfish and indulge in his childish wants and needs was a frequent guilty desire of his, but he ultimately forced himself to refrain as much as he could manage.
He never slept well after that; not unless he could find an excuse to sneak into your bed, or you sneak into his. You were a sedative every time, lulling him to sleep with the warmth of your breath and body, familiar closeness stripping the worries of the world away so that he could rest. Nothing else ever worked so perfectly, even now that you both have grown.
That’s why, after the conclusion of a family gathering, sneaking into each other’s presence was a no-brainer.
Yuuta had joined you in the guest bedroom of your childhood home to decompress after his inability to do so alone. The both of you had taken on many responsibilities throughout the day, and while he certainly enjoyed spending time with the family, a restful night alone with you was what he craved the most by the end of it. Thankfully, having felt the same way, you didn’t hesitate to raise the covers and let him slide under until you both chit-chatted yourselves to sleep.
Now, Yuuta’s arms keep you close with their gentle grip around your waist, having at some point pulled you into him until the tips of your noses are mere inches apart. You’ve fluttered out of sleep for a moment to see him resting peacefully with all the grace of an angel, wearing his slumber so effortlessly as though it never dares to evade him.
But it does, because the darkened skin beneath his eyes has made its home there for longer than you can recall, telling all who will listen that he is tormented by the absence of something. Whether it be proper brain chemistry, the responsibility to maintain a schedule, or simple peace of mind, no one knows as he never divulges, but Yuuta is haunted by lack, and not even your keen sense of sibling intuition can sniff out just what it is that he needs. Or so you believe, at least.
Although he receives the brunt of it, you can feel it too—the ache. It settles deep within every crevice to remind you of its presence whenever you dare to forget, no matter how often you seem to shove it away with success. It always rattles your bones until Yuuta smiles in your direction like the sun revealing itself from a place behind the clouds, and you are reminded of fulfillment. 
Oh, how he is your sunshine; your magnificent ray of light. It warms the cavity of your chest even as you lie here in the darkness.
Fingertips trace over the matching darkness beneath his eyes and down the slope of his nose to the outline of his pink, parted lips. He doesn’t even stir, too weighed upon by the thick blanket of sleep to pay any mind. You are delirious with awe, stricken by the heavenly beauty of the one who quells the ache. Does he know you love him so? Is he aware of the radiant beauty that compels you to draw closer like a moth to the flame?
Will he know if you lean forward to press an indulgent kiss upon his lips?
It’s a gentle peck that makes his brow twitch with unconscious curiosity. Were you privy to his dreams, you’d see that you’ve entered them, breathing life into his senses with every careful touch until his skin grows hot.
You fear you’ve woken him once his hips stir, but sleep pervades even as Yuuta’s breath seems to tickle your skin with more frequency, every quickened beat of his heart causing the more shallow rising of his lungs. You dare to press your lips to his once more, desperate for the satisfaction of his reaction, and you aren’t disappointed—Yuuta’s embrace tightens around you, breath hitching discreetly like a startled angel’s, and it’s when his hips roll forward again that the hardness pressing against your lower half becomes evident.
He dreams of your gentle kisses, of your breath gracing his skin, and he returns the favor in his mind now that he knows you’ll allow it. It will be a source of shame once he awakens, but dreams of this caliber are few and far between, something to be cherished in the moment without guilt or hesitation. As if he even has a choice.
Carefully, you hike your leg up over his hip to press yourself closer to the part of him that strains against fabric. You want to feel intertwined, strange as it might be; you want to infiltrate his mind like he does yours, sense his want and need, try and be privy to things that cannot possibly be known. But it’s so easy to be close like this, as though it were always meant to be, or always had been.
He’s warm between your hips. Real. The antidote to a deepseated loneliness and need to be with another, even if only in superficial touch. But will you settle for that?
No. You are greedy.
Yuuta, still captured in a dream, is somewhat easy to maneuver onto his back with a few gentle pushes, his body desperate to mold to yours until you are perfectly perched atop him. He slots between your thighs like he was made to be there, and you can almost feel his warm cock twitch through his pajamas beneath the new weight of your hips. The adjacent scenario in his mind grows increasingly realistic while you grow hungrier for every facet of his reaction.
Does he dream of you? Does he long for the sensation of your bodies finding harmony with one another like you do? You can’t say you haven’t imagined it yourself prior, mind drifting to the taboo when presented with his matured figure, though it still holds the same heat of familiarity from when you would curl up next to each other in your youth. It’s the ultimate combination of love and desecration that satisfies this abhorrent hunger you’ve found yourself plagued by, and even if it causes everything around you to come tumbling down, you can’t find it within yourself to care.
Yuuta’s breath hitches once more, brow furrowing as you rock yourself down against him with care. You know he deserves an undisturbed rest, even if the one he dreams of isn’t you, so you daren’t wake him now of all times. You’ll aid in his unconscious need while also indulging in your own.
You grind your hips a number of times, but the results are consequently underwhelming. The softness with which you must do it to avoid waking him is to blame, your lust being inhibited to prevent you from moving against him with the entirety of your animalistic need. 
Yuuta, however, grunts with pleasure at the friction while you selfishly yearn for more, so after diligently working the waistband of his pants to sit a few inches lower on his hips, you pull your panties to the side and press your wet cunt directly upon the bulge in his briefs.
You shiver at the contact, resisting the urge to moan out loud into the quiet air as Yuuta’s cock rubs against you through the thinnest of layers. He’s leaky and throbbing below your clit as it drags once, twice, three times over him in an establishing rhythm, fabric growing wetter with each pass you make and his gentle moans escaping with greater frequency. You bite down on the collar of your shirt to refrain from mimicking his vocalization, but upon another scan with your eyes, you recall that there are other things you could be doing with your mouth.
Yuuta’s throat is exposed as his head lolls off to the side on the pillow, and you lean down to busy yourself with reverent kisses upon the sensitive skin. Your hips stutter in their movement now that you have succumb to the distraction of sucking on his neck, but Yuuta doesn’t seem to mind—in fact, he mewls and whines so decadently in his sleep that you are compelled to make the regrettable decision of sucking until there is a mark that reveals itself once you remove your lips.
And oh, does he look gorgeous adorning it.
You pull back to admire his needy image, but Yuuta wriggles and presses his hips up unto yours, apparently dissatisfied with your absence and seeking something more, only to make you dizzy with arousal and irrational need. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing to you, but it’s guiding you down yet another path of no return. Your beautiful angel is sending you straight to the pits of hell, and he isn’t even fully aware.
(If you could know of his dreams, you’d see that he feels quite similarly about you.)
The wet mess of Yuuta’s briefs are pulled down until his aching cock can spring out and dribble a string of precum onto his lower belly. There, a trail of dark hair paints the milky skin with masculinity, and you admire the sight for a good moment before sliding your finger over his wet tip until the muscles in his stomach twitch with delight.
Yuuta is so responsive and so malleable, easy to take in his sleep now that he feels safe enough to fall into a slumber as delectable as this. You are almost stricken finally with guilt for taking advantage of such a level of trust, but even in his unconscious state, it feels as though Yuuta is pleading for you to take him back as your most cherished thing, the one you are closest with and know more of than anyone or anything else. You feel a certain beckoning towards making up for all the years you were forced to maintain an artificial distance, to pretend as though you didn’t ache for the only person who knew you so deeply and so truly.
Stifling the hunger only made it worse in the end, because now Yuuta’s cock weeps when you stroke it and slide it between your wet folds, signaling to you that this is somehow the right decision. Perhaps it’s a matter of delusion rather than truth, but sinking down onto him fills you with nothing but pure, unfettered gratification.
You don’t hesitate to make him bottom out inside you, eager to be overwhelmed by him in every way, even if it forces a whimper to spill from your lips in the process. Yuuta responds in kind as the snug fit allows a cascade of warmth to wash over him, blissfully unaware that he is now closer to you than he ever has been, and that he cries out in his sleep over it. It’s diabolical, really, but your dear brother wears pleasure so beautifully on his face that you can’t help but fall deeper into your pit of depravity.
A wet noise makes itself known amongst heavy breaths when you raise yourself up and drop back down on his length. It’s an act so indiscreet that you can only accomplish it twice more before Yuuta’s moans shift into noises with more presence, brows furrowed, body shuffling, and eyes cracking open to be met with the sight of your hips flush against his, cock constricted by the same blinding heat he felt seconds before waking up.
Eyes growing wide, his heart leaps out of his chest with a sudden surge of panic. “What are you—hah—d-doing—?1”
Yuuta is cut off by the palm of your hand slamming over his mouth to dampen the noise, his sounds of pleasure and surprise reaching a volume that makes you wary in a house in which you are not alone.
“Shh, Yuuta, shh…” you warn in a whisper, allowing him a second to process the danger of letting his voice raise too high, all while keeping your hips moving steadily against his. 
Gradually, the panicked breathing through his nose settles to something more manageable, and Yuuta’s eyes roll into the back of his skull with a muffled grunt. “Does it feel good?” you ask, and he nods his answer, having further transitioned from alarm to living out the sinking, heavenly feeling of being coupled with you in his dream. 
The morality of it all claws painfully at the back of his skull, but Yuuta is too inundated with the physical and spiritual need that has consumed you both to pay anything else much attention. He conforms to your will because it aligns so well with his own.
“Can you be quiet?”
He nods again, seeking a firm grip against your hips as you hesitantly remove your hand from his mouth. Yuuta swallows down a breath and refrains from speaking despite all the thoughts that race through his head, and you are pleased to see how receptive he is to this unthinkable act. 
It could certainly be a fawn response from a peacekeeper such as himself, but you know he is capable of putting his foot down once a certain line has been crossed. He could throw you off him in an instant if he truly felt so deeply wronged by your actions, yet he chooses to stay nestled between your thighs and buried deep in your cunt after you take him over and over, because he wants this.
Doesn’t he?
The look in his teary eyes says he does, and so do the ragged breaths, the quivering lip between his teeth to bite back a moan, the way you swear he almost aids in guiding you up and down his length…
Yuuta, for the moment, looks to be as enthralled as you are by this disastrous development, and that reaffirming image alone will accompany you every day until you have at least one foot in the grave.
He is porcelain and pristine, framed by pillows and moonlight and looking a touch too fragile as though he might break with the next slam of your hips, but you know him to be hardy after all that has tried to chip away at him throughout his short life. Yuuta’s strength in love and spirit is as strong as the pale fingers that dig into your flesh, and he has decided amidst it all to be yours for this moment; a blessing bestowed upon you that could make the gratitude utterly burst forth from your chest.
You want to spill your glee upon his lips, have him know that you are thankful for his gratuity even if this is the first and only time he will give it, so you lean down to steal him for another kiss that he returns tenfold. Yuuta’s lips are more alive in his waking state and more than happy to drink in your taste between shaking breaths, the intimacy of having your tongue slide along his lower lip twisting the tightness in his gut to where it could rupture at any moment.
There’s a muffled whimper as he chases your hips, instincts unveiled but not more so than the part of him that has yearned for this for far longer than he can even recall. Now that it has been offered to him on a silver platter, he will devour and cherish it for the feast that it is, even if he doesn’t last long enough to savor every morsel to the extent he would like.
“I want you to cum,” you breathe, leading him ever closer towards that dangerous edge as if you know what sullies his mind. To hear those words in your voice, even if in a whisper, are like the gates of an abominable heaven opening up for him. “Please.”
Yuuta is incapable of denying you for even less. A plea of such magnitude rattles his bones and nearly strips him of all free-will, commanding his body to succumb to its base desires and seek fulfillment through finishing inside you. He relinquishes control and is punched by the pleasure that follows, hiding his face against your throat and fighting to keep his moan suppressed to an acceptable volume.
His warmth takes over you from the inside in spurts, twitching out of him at your deepest point as you settle against his base and further soak the dark curls around it with your arousal. You let him ride the high until he is empty and panting, and only then do you rise up and place a finger against your clit, circling it with a grind of your hips to enhance the pleasure that had been building in your core.
Yuuta watches in awe despite the sensitivity that spurs from your walls squeezing around his used cock, but he has never been more thrilled to be utilized. It doesn’t take long for you to come crashing down to join him in the orgasmic bliss that has you collapsing against his chest with a series of bone-chilling shivers, the satisfaction greater and more incomprehensible than you could’ve imagined.
The two of you are a heap of heavy breaths and quivering muscles, staring into each other’s eyes as the reality of the situation attempts to set in. As much as it should feel repulsive and regrettable, your actions nothing less than reprehensible, your greatest fear is the selfish one of hearing Yuuta say he doesn’t love you anymore. It would be most understandable after what you’ve done, but it frightens you nonetheless.
He struggles to catch his breath and confirm that this wasn’t just a figment of his dastardly imagination. “What—”
Yuuta doesn’t get the chance to stammer out a question before you cut him off with a kiss—a kiss that is so deep and desperate it screams your despair over it possibly being the final one.
You pull back and curl into his neck with murmured remorse. “I’m sorry, Yuuta. I’m sorry.”
His heart flutters with overwhelm but is ultimately on the brink of accepting that something within finally feels actualized. Will he be damned for submitting to it? Is it an insult to his being to so willingly yield after being explicitly taken without permission? Or was it necessary for him in order to reach this point all along?
Yuuta holds no animosity in his heart regardless of whether or not it is warranted. All he carries is a deep sense of love and appreciation.
Wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace, he fully savors your closeness at last.
“Don’t be,” he says.
He’s just glad it isn’t a dream anymore.
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