#but not all of it uses jamie's character well or understands that he's nuanced and not just stupid/the brawn of the team/etc etc etc

[the--highlanders]

I hope you don't mind me asking but what are your favourite Jamie EU stories?

oh my god not at all, I never mind being asked about my favourite little guy <33

I'm gonna break this down by media type, but there's some parts of the eu like comics that I'm not super familiar with, so if anyone wants to add some of those on (or any other eu stories) then go ahead!!

putting this under a cut because it got LONG rip

big finish

the jigsaw war

jamie is trapped inside a puzzle, experiencing events out of order, and has to figure out how to escape. this is THE audio for me in terms of like. recognising that jamie isn't stupid just because he comes from the eighteenth century. he really gets to shine on his own rather than being relegated to 'dumb exposition prompter' (which I feel like some audios can be kinda guilty of.....) also the fact that two and jamie canonically have a strong enough connection to form a psychic link over long distances makes me chew through glass. this audio GETS it in a way some others just don't.

the glorious revolution

two, jamie, and zoe travel back to the time of the glorious revolution, the event that set the jacobite cause in motion, and jamie grapples with not being able to change the past. if you saw that audio snippet going around a couple days ago you'll have an idea of why I'm reccing this one. it has been a while since I've listened to it & I do really want to relisten and check it out for historical accuracy. but regardless it's another one that gives jamie some of the depth he deserves, this time in terms of emotional depth and his feelings about his backstory.

the selachian gambit

two, jamie, ben, and polly get caught in the middle of an alien bank heist. this one is pretty focused on ben, polly, and jamie as a trio - they're largely taking on the action while two keeps the detective work of the plot chugging along. jamie doesn't hugely stand out here in terms of the audio really adding something to his character, but it does show his dynamic with ben and polly pretty well. in particular there's some great scenes with him and ben working together, and I love their friendship a lot so that's always a good time.

honourable mentions: helicon prime (I do feel this one underutilises jamie a bit and undersells him in some weird ways, but if you're looking for two/jamie content you can't get much gayer than this. plus it's the origin of the whole 'jamie and kirsty get married' thing which I hate on principle & am obsessed with in practice), the phantom piper (it's got so much more potential than it gives imo but the tidbits that we get are so good. jamie's relationship with his grandparents.... his best friend taking a bullet for him and dying in his arms...... I just wish I could explain to the author that there's no such thing as a bedroom door in a blackhouse)

novels

the roundheads

two, jamie, ben, and polly travel back to the 1600s, and get largely split up by events unfolding around them. this is a pure historical and it delights in that. if you're after ben and polly content, the roundheads delivers on that too - but it really is some great early twojamie content. (whatever way you choose to read them - it's definitely a shippable book if you're into that). they spend the majority of the book together, both for plot reasons and just hanging out (they go to a frost fair!! two buys jamie treats and then makes himself a flower crown!!) and you get a great sense of jamie figuring two out early into his travels, and how he's far more interested in the doctor as a person than some other companions - he's the only one to show interest in susan when the doctor namedrops her, for instance. this is the best two-era book to me.

the wheel of ice

two, jamie, and zoe visit a space station built a little before zoe's time, and find that not everything is as it seems. again, this is a great one for zoe content as well as anything else, and for some very sweet moments with zoe and two. I don't necessarily feel this one always nails two and jamie's dynamic, but they don't spend a massive amount of time together here, so it's not too jarring. really I'm reccing this because of the scenes where jamie falls in with a bunch of teenagers from the space station, and finds himself kind of responsible for them. it's just nicely done and gives a good sense of jamie as a caretaker character and someone who feels a drive to be responsible for other people.

honourable mention: the episode novelisations (these are a lot of fun, especially if you have particular episodes you enjoy. they often add in extra details, background for side characters, or just little things from the episodes that were cut from the script. I really like them for adding a bit more depth and life to existing stories, and just little things that make you go 'yeah I'll add that to my belief system').

short stories

the time eater/across silent seas

two and jamie give a massive time-eating creature a funeral, and save a space whale from being turned into a weapon. both from the compilation destination prague. literally nobody gets me like the destination prague stories get me I'm not even kidding. these are THE eu two stories to me. both of these are arguably 6b, and they really work in that position - both in showing two and jamie with a very settled, devoted dynamic and in their themes and subject matter. the time eater is a story with no villain, and even the incidental threat of the dying creature causing havoc in time is secondary to the emotional keystone of jamie helping two accept death rather than running away. across silent seas has jamie nearly being aged to death and two absolutely losing it. they're both really about age and death and loss, which hits hard for 6b, with jamie's determination to stay with two forever and two's growing realisation that even if jamie doesn't choose to leave or survives their adventures, his lifespan is still going to be far shorter.

the age of ambition

two, jamie, and victoria land at the house of one of victoria's father's friends, only to find he has been trying to reanimate the dead. from the compilation life sciences. this is really a victoria story, probably the defining victoria story for me. it's got backstory, it's got gothic horror/victorian scientific ambition vibes in a similar way to evil of the daleks, it's got victoria character moments. but it's also a really crucial story for jamie, to me. as a character, I don't think jamie never quite forms into the brawny action man stereotype he was originally drafted as - and that's one of the things I love most about him. again he's too much of a caretaker, he's a piper rather than a soldier. he's rarely truly angry, even when he fights he never seems out to cause much actual harm, and you get the sense his protectiveness over his friends wars with this almost inability to do harm. the age of ambition GETS that and pushes it to the extreme, with jamie being unable to fire a killing shot to save his friends, to the point where victoria has to do it herself. it's such a compelling character moment for both of them and their dynamic.

on a pedestal

two, jamie, and victoria travel back to meet william wallace, who jamie idolises. from the compilation the quality of leadership. this is another one that really gets and hones in on a particular nuance of jamie's character - in this case, the strength and rigidity of his morals and sense of responsibility, and his dislike of people who fall short of that. he's faced with the fact that someone he admires was once careless, lax about taking responsibility for their actions even when other people are at risk, and just a bit childish. it shakes him, and he spends much of the story grappling with that. it's such a good look into the qualities that jamie admires versus the ones that he can't stand. but that's balanced out with some very sweet moments (the whole scene with two, jamie, and william wallace going fishing is very fun and again gives a nice little snapshot of two and jamie having this very settled, secure dynamic). AND jamie gets recognised as a basically supernaturally gifted piper which. love to see jamie actually getting to be a musician, love to see him piping without it being the butt of a 'bagpipes suck and everyone hates them' joke.

honourable mentions: that which went away (this is the 'jamie turns into a bear' story I'm always talking about. I do think it has some major issues in terms of weird primitivism, both in terms of the side characters and how it treats jamie, but also. jamie turns into a bear. and two begging him to come back to him is just *chefs kiss*), undercurrents (two vanishes from the tardis and another man mysteriously appears. jamie believes this newcomer has done something to harm two, and very nearly kills him for it. this is one of the few moments where jamie gets really, properly angry and is willing to actually cause harm and I LOVE to see him pushed past the breaking point of his usual moral code), the slave war (two, jamie, ben, and polly in the roman empire. also really good for ben and polly content, but there's some interesting stuff with jamie grappling with the idea of becoming involved in another rebellion, but ending up getting involved anyway)

[sgiandubh]

As a woman who devoured 6 seasons of Outlander in 3 months

I find that Sam was very brilliant in his performance in the first season

Look at him here, even his voice was different and masculine

I don't know why in the following parts he was pulled into the artificial performance style

Even his tone of voice was changed to a ridiculous tone

I find that Sam's creativity was killed and Jamie character was made ridiculous as they presented him to us

Yes they succeeded in that.. But they couldn't change him, he is the crazy chemistry between Sam and Caitriona behind the scenes .

Dear Creativity Anon,

Bearing in mind I distractedly watched the first episode of 7B and not at all the second one, I think this calls for a more nuanced approach.

I do agree with you S was stellar all the way up to Season 4, when things started to spiral downwards, somewhat. I think it's obvious and I don't think we do him - or ourselves, morally speaking - any favors trying to put on a brave face and ignore facts. While C was, in my humble opinion, the weakest link in Season 1, she slowly started to be more comfortable with Claire and have a better understanding and intuition of that character from Season 2 onwards, only to accompany S down the drain at the same above mentioned point on the show's timeline. I am sorry if that sounds brutal to some - blind, enamored fangirling never quite did it for me, but constructive critic is always my cup of tea.

We could probably spend the rest of the night debating reasons and consequences, Anon, much of which are well known - and carefully denied - by many in this fandom. And while many might ascribe the 'new', later seasons S to an older JAMMF character he doesn't seem to master as perfectly as young, fresh faced JAMMF, I agree with you that he looks perfunctorily disinterested too many times for my liking. But then so does C, a woman her Stans worship the earth she's treading upon all day long, while nastily belittling her co-star and - remember, ROFLMAO - Partner Everyday. In a nutshell, the older JAMMF is a formulaic shadow of the fascinatingly versatile younger self and the older CEBRF is a frowning matron, with a passion for ether and terrible, terrible pitch. This is why I have always said I would like to see them both being offered the opportunity to create totally new characters, in totally new projects that would send them out of their respective acting comfort zones. That would be the real litmus test, Anon: not the feisty matriarch in Belfast, nor the endearingly stolid paramour in Love Again. They can do better, that much we know and they deserve better.

When a good, gifted actor suddenly starts to mix things up and lose it, there might be other reasons at play. And I know I will irritate many and I don't care if I do, to be honest. I am still amazed at the complete lack of discernment of this fandom's Stans. They seem to ignore the crucial accountability of that increasingly ineffective army of scriptwriters, producers (we both agree them being Exec Producers is little more than an incentive, with little real leverage on creative decisions) and directors - Matt who? directors XYZ who? And God forbid we'd bring into the mix Gabaldon's increasingly verbose, mediocre output and questionable narrative choices. Her complete lack of historical sensitivity: painting a dull Paris background while she was sitting on a cultural goldmine. Her obsessively cheap sensationalism: raping and uselessly traumatizing ALL of the main characters (why? is happiness that boring? and if so, what does this tell us about their creator?). Her abusively interspersing the intrigue with uninteresting, obscure botanical references, while forgetting to properly tie in the narrative lines. So much so, that I began to increasingly find disagreeable to continue reading the books, from The Fiery Cross onwards. Throw rotten tomatoes at me, if you wish, but I think life is too short for bad literature. So many other formidable things to read, so many other worlds to discover - why would I, as a reader, give this contemptuous, megalomaniac lady my time and my patience, when I have Tiziano Terzani's wonderful travelogues begging for my attention, on my nightstand?

You might ask, with good reason and common sense, why am I still committed to watch the show. And the answer is simple, Anon: when I start something, I strive to properly or at least decently finish it. And despite all the #shitshow, the cruelty, the childish lies, the gaslighting, the traculas and xenas and trolls, I am still here for that love. This, Anon, is something that nobody could ever take away from Those Two, spare perhaps their lesser selves (and that is nobody's business). But I am not worried, in that department - just aware and perhaps a bit cynical, too.

[silvercat-s]

Thank you for responding! I think I understand what you mean by the change of your views, since I have been following you on and off since then, I have happily witnessed your evolution here. As far as memory serves, you started off on the note of seeing Henry in not so insightfully nuanced way as you do now, and that's actually something no one can blame you for, the play did make us truly connect where Jamie Campbell Bower's empathetic defense emerged from since the beginning. Deep down, I wanted him to be redeemed too (his moments with El seemed way too genuine to be overlooked haha) but just like that you, I felt I didn't have enough evidences to point towards that direction till TFS spoilers started to drop by. But I am replying to you here to make you know that the perception which we have had it now overwritten under new Henry Creel content's light was not something to be embarrassed of. That was still you and your amazing analytical skills to have drawn what you drew with whatever limited info we were given. I understand that we are constantly growing, changing and that's a great thing, but that doesn't make your earlier reviews to be entirely wrong, they rather add beauty to its complexity which I believe we all should be proud of. It also commemorates our growth as a dedicated fan of a show which has a thing for life-changing twists for 001 of its characters. (pun obviously intended lol). Besides some of your speculations hit the bull's eyes. ( George being Henry after all) So your older blogs are still "a nice walk down memory lane" memories :))) I still admire your bravery for voicing your opinions no matter how odd one out they seemed at that time. Secondly, ( yeah I have already written so much I should be at its last para by now but still xD) I also understand the discrepancy of ship you are onboard now. And it doesn't bother me at all honestly. I actually believed in Creelarke before the play had me doubting till I decided " I will first watch the play whenever it streams on Netflix and then see for myself, what seems more canon lol" I am not like one of those toxic fans who would harass you or hold a legit grudge for changing your opinions or no longer agreeing with something rarely mutual as the matter is honestly very subjective at this point, but I appreciate the warning of ' things not being the same' you put in your response :) And lastly, (yeah finally), whenever I click on those 3 dots which would open to " view archive or block user yada yada" options, it no longer contains the Archive feature. I even tried the URL trick lol, ( yup completely not that desperate) but it would come back to this page, it's honestly like Eleven running in Nina only to return to the Rainbow Room with Henry being "Well well" haha. Hence, I hope you look into it!

You're right, I was never one of those "Henry is a heartless monster who deserved all the abuse he suffered" people, he was always my favorite character after all, and I always believed his fate could've been avoided if he had got any true help and love, and that his fondness for Eleven was genuine, but I was still wrong about him in many ways, I used to think he always had those murderous tendencies even as a kid, and I just assumed that was the direction they were taking it, it never crossed my mind they would want to subvert the evil child trope, even tho the clues were always there, I just ignored them for a lot of reasons.

TFS was a very happy surprise after the initial denial stage lol it forced me to acknowledge so much, and I'm now very glad to know the duffers actually put so much thought and care into his character and that there is still so much about him left to discover!

And don't even get me started on Jcb; that poor man was defending Henry from the very beginning, and I'm sure the play made him feel so vindicated 😅

I wouldn't say I even have any analytical skills, but thank you! I'm not really embarrassed of how I used to see Henry, because, like you said, I was doing my best with the information that we had (with some wilful blindness added to the mix), and I was having fun, in the end it's just a fictional character, you know? It's not that serious, it's not a real life issue, we should be allowed to have fun and be wrong about things, and move on.

but I'm embarrassed over how I behaved toward some of the most dedicated Henry analists. I have apologized and they have forgiven me, but it still bothers me that I did that, I could've handled that so much better

And oh god YES I'm so glad I got a least one or two things right! it saved me from feeling completely humiliated 😅 and ugh, you're almost making me regret deleting some of my posts, but I think I mostly deleted the ones where I was being a mean idiot, hopefully there's still something for you

I'm just not sure what you mean with ship discrepancy. I've never really been much of a shipper, I don't really ship anyone with Henry. I did used to ship hentty in a "well, they are canon" way, but after seeing what some of the people who watched the play said about them...they are cute still, but definitely not a one true love situation, Henry deserved someone who truly loved and stood by him, and Patty apparently wasn't that person at all, but I would still love to see the play for myself to form a better opinion on it too!

And I'm not a creelarke shipper myself, but I do understand the appeal now, and I would support anything that would bring that poor guy some happiness 🥲 so don't worry! I don't really have an issue with any ship or even have a strong opinion on it, just whatever makes our boy happy

AND I fixed it! It was the "hide blog from people without an account" setting, I had no idea it did that; it's disabled now! I'm actually very honored and surprised that you liked my posts enough to do that haha, you're very nice and insightful, I hope you come off anon someday! ❤️

[katzell]

The Bear Season 2 - Initial Thoughts

Mainlined season 2 today. I have no idea why I thought I would take my time with this. I certainly didn’t with season 1. I suppose I anticipated the same anxiety levels as the previous season. I planned for chill out breaks, and yet here we are!

I really appreciated how this season’s remodel gave each character time to look inwards and do work on themselves. I loved that Carmy facilitated these journeys, even if he never fully appreciated how meaningful they were to the people around him. Richie got a win! I had no idea that was something I even wanted and yet the satisfaction of seeing him finally find his lane was everything.

I’m tagging this for spoilers, but I don’t think I’m ready to talk about the Seven Fishes episode. It was amazing. Give Jon Bernthal all the awards. Bob Odenkirk scared the hell out of me. John Mulaney gave a surprisingly nuanced performance. Lets give some awards to Jamie Lee Curtis as well. I thought they were wasting Sarah Paulson and then I watched her eyes well up and her façade crack…clearly there are no small parts in this show.

Speaking of, hello Will Poulter! Seems like Hollywood just realized you’re hot now.

But no, I’m still trying to understand what The Feast of Seven Fishes means for Carmy, Sugar, and Richie. This episode could teach courses on “show don’t tell.” The family dynamics that continue to haunt everyone are on full display. Tragedy is so close to the surface and yet so mixed up in love and joy.

Carmy’s family scream I love you when they are simultaneously ripping into each other. I love you means calm down. I love you means I’m not hurting you. I love you means stop hurting yourself. They say it a lot. They mean it. But its part of the chaos.

At the very end of the season, we hear those often spoken words again, this time from someone outside the family. When Claire says “I love you,” she says it in a moment of quiet during her day, and Carmy hears it when he is literally locked up, alone with his thoughts. The contrast to Richie screaming the same thing moments before is heartbreaking. In losing Claire, Carmy lost a different kind of love, not just that it was romantic, but that it was calm and easy.

I liked Claire and really bought into her dynamic with Carmy. They felt like two formerly awkward kids reconnecting. She was someone who could have really understood his life without being part of it. She could have been an oasis for him, and Carmy, who is actually really good at listening to and supporting others, could have done the same for her. But he’s an infant at relationships. He hasn’t done this before. He could salvage this one, but at the moment he doesn’t value himself enough to try.

Carmy’s relationship with Sydney though continues to be a fascinating and lovely work in progress. I could see them together at some point in the future. But for now, I’m glad for storytelling reasons Sydney isn’t carrying that burden. The vortex of chaos that surrounds Carmy would subjugate Sydney to his emotional journey. For now, I want to watch Sydney grow into a leader who speaks with assurance and commands a room. I want to watch her continue to build her network and reputation. And I’d like to see her date other people to see what that side of her is like without Carmy. And if all the while they continue building the trust and respect, I will probably be delighted to see them kiss.

Or if Sydney and Richie want to hate fuck that would work for me too

I don’t know what the hell is going to happen to tv in the US as we move into this new phase of streaming, but we better get at least three more seasons of Jermey Allen White as an introverted depressed chef and his loud, weird, wonderful family.

[denimbex1986]

'What if you could see and talk to a lost loved one again? Love can help heal old wounds. "All of Us Strangers" is a poignant gay romance and a melancholic exploration of grief. A strange, esoteric, and haunting film, it wrenchingly captures the vacillating push-pull fear of loneliness and connection.

Out gay director Andrew Haigh wrote and directed the film, which stars Paul Mescal and out gay actor Andrew Scott, and is based on the 1987 Japanese novel "Strangers" by Taichi Yamada. Premiering at the 2023 Telluride Film Festival, "All of Us Strangers" screened at various film festivals, including the 2023 New York Film Festival. It was nominated for awards at the Gotham Independent Film Awards and the British Independent Film Awards.

Adam (Andrew Scott) leads an isolated, lonely existence. He's a gay screenwriter living as one of the only tenants in a London high-rise apartment building. One night, he meets his charismatic neighbor Harry (Paul Mescal). As the two embark on a burgeoning intense relationship, memories of Adam's deceased parents – who tragically died in a car accident when he was a child – consume Adam. He returns to his suburban childhood home and finds his parents (Claire Foy, Jamie Bell) still living there, looking exactly as they did 30 years earlier. Adam frequently returns to talk with his parents, spending time with them and catching them up on his life.

Andrew Scott gives an excellent performance as the gentle, restrained, and yearning protagonist. Seeing Adam tentative around Harry elicits bittersweet emotions. Grief and isolation shaped Adam's life. He doesn't want to let go of the past, fearful to fully embrace his future. Haigh intentionally cast a queer actor in the lead role, as he knew someone queer could understand the "nuances I was searching for in the film's exploration of queerness."

Paul Mescal is wonderful, giving a complex performance, as he has in "Aftersun" and "God's Creatures." Harry is bold and charismatic, exuding a melancholy-tinged audacity. Harry vulnerably shares with Adam that he always felt like a stranger in his own family. It feels like a tender wound. While anyone feeling like an outcast can relate, it's a heartbreaking line of dialogue (my favorite in the film) that specifically speaks to what many of us LGBTQ+ people feel.

Current film discourse often debates the purpose or need of sex scenes in film. Aside from tantalizing aesthetics, sex scenes can reveal important information about a film's characters. Such is the case here. The seductive sex scenes in "All of Us Strangers" evoke a tenderness between Adam and Harry. Queer sex scenes can be important for us queer people. While not always the case – and while tremendous variation exists, as no group is a monolith – it's often clear when a queer director films queer sex scenes. Adam and Harry's chemistry feels electric and palpable. It feels like they reveal emotional as well as physical layers of themselves to each other.

Coming out scenes are staples in cinematic history. In one of my favorite scenes, Adam comes out as gay to his mother after she assumes he's straight and asks if he has a girlfriend. She tells him he doesn't look gay; he gently questions her assumption. Adam's mother isn't accepting, a contrast to Adam's father's warm reaction. She doesn't rebuff Adam, but she can't seem to reconcile her expectations. His mother says no parent would want their child to be gay because it's a hard life; she worries about him dealing with homophobia and HIV/AIDS. He says he's happy to be gay. The excellently written conversation between Adam and his mother feels raw and candid. It's refreshing to see a self-accepting queer character who isn't conflicted about their sexuality.

I love Andrew Haigh's tender, heartbreaking film "Lean on Pete" and his subtle yet nevertheless emotionally devastating film "45 Years," as well as the wonderful critically-acclaimed gay series "Looking," for which he directed approximately half of the episodes. Vulnerability permeates his films; there's a pervasive quietude and subtlety that requires a diligent and patient audience, who are rewarded with emotional resonance and transcendence.

Due to delving into his own past, Haigh said that adapting the novel was "a long and sometimes painful process." While exploring love and relationships, he also wanted to examine "the distinct experience of a specific generation of gay people growing up in the 80s." This is clearly a very personal film for Haigh, including the scenes of Adam visiting his parents that were filmed in Haigh's childhood home. Nightclub scenes were shot at the "iconic LGBTQ entertainment venue" Royal Vauxhall Tavern.

A bittersweet, esoteric queer film, "All of Us Strangers" transcends the bonds of space and time, reconnecting with lost loved ones; it's evocative of Céline Sciamma's powerful film "Petite Maman." Filmed on 35mm, the cinematography evokes a dreamy, diaphanous nostalgia. Not quite a ghost story, and not quite a time-travel narrative, the unconventional film sprinkles genre elements and themes to culminate in an achingly moving cinematic experience.

While Adam's parents exist as some sort of apparition, Adam is essentially a ghost in his own life; he remains isolated and disconnected from others, trapped by grief and pain. Intrepid Harry excavates something buried within him, catalyzing him to contend with his trauma and embrace life and love. Time is ephemeral, but in the beautiful film's mystical yet grounded realm, a moment lasts for an eternity.'

[blackstarising]

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

[theheroheart]

What ‘Ted Lasso’ gets right about resistance to therapy, according to a therapist

By Erin Qualey Sep. 10, 2021 6 AM PT

The following contains spoilers from Friday’s episode of “Ted Lasso,” “Man City.”    (Originally posted here.)

Wherever you go, there you are.

In my work as a therapist, this is a concept my clients and I often explore. No matter how far or fast you run from your troubles, the one thing you absolutely cannot escape is yourself. Wherever you go? There you are. It’s a saying that Ted Lasso himself would surely love.

In the first season of the Apple TV+ series “Ted Lasso,” Ted (Jason Sudeikis) travels across an ocean to coach a professional football team with zero experience. He’s an aw-shucks Kansan with a can-do attitude, and his perpetual positivity proves infectious to almost everyone he meets. Although “Ted Lasso” is a comedy, Ted’s tortured inner life has been hinted at from the start — in the form of conflict with his ex-wife and a panic attack he experienced late in Season 1, triggered by a karaoke version of “Let It Go” from “Frozen.” For Ted, the song served as a crushing yet temporary reminder that he was putting off the inevitable. It’s only in Season 2, the adjustment to a new life and job complete, that Ted has been left to sit with his feelings — and realize he might not be able to outrun himself after all.

Enter Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles), sports psychologist, whose presence clearly rattled Ted. Niles imbues Dr. Sharon with an even keel and disciplined temperament: Whether she’s engaging with a client or observing the team at practice, her active body language and ever-searching eye movements indicate that Dr. Sharon strives to treat each moment at her job with the utmost care and seriousness. She sets personal boundaries but also knows when to head out for a drink with the team after a particularly needed win.

It’s the addition of the enigmatic Dr. Sharon that catalyzes the central action of Season 2 — which, though it’s received criticism for a lack of dramatic momentum, has been laying a trail of biscuit crumbs to Friday’s game-changing “Man City.”

Ted’s insistence that life has infinite happy endings already bordered on toxic positivity, and it catapults over that line into maladaptive behavior in Season 2. As Ted starts to strain against the weight of the trauma he carries, he shifts into near-manic mode. The pressure to be himself — a man who consistently puts others’ needs above his own — finally becomes too great, and he experiences a debilitating panic attack in the middle of a crucial match. In a striking scene, Dr. Sharon finds Ted curled up in her darkened office, finally asking for help.

Therapy is all about sitting with and processing uncomfortable emotions in a safe space. Unfortunately, much of Ted’s ethos runs completely counter to this idea. His “be a goldfish” saying and his staunch belief in “rom-communism” both center on selective amnesia of the negative and overemphasis on the positive. But Ted has another mantra: “bird by bird.” Originating in the book of the same name by Anne Lamott, the term connotes perseverance and patience: It means to take things one step at a time until a daunting task is completed. So when Ted finally decides to engage in therapy with Dr. Sharon, he’s determined to not give up. And, wouldn’t you know, there’s a bird involved.

When Ted finally sits down for his first session with Dr. Sharon, he is a mess. He spies a bobbing drinking bird and taps it. The bird, much like Ted, can say only “yes.” But in a powerful moment, Ted begins to gently oppose the bird, shaking his head “no” as he watches the toy come to a stop. Shortly after, he pops out of his chair and leaves the session. Something similar happens during the second session, but this time he picks a fight with the good doctor before storming out.

The bird is an important visual illustration of the cognitive dissonance Ted is experiencing. He’s programmed himself to use relentless positivity as a coping mechanism, always saying yes to every experience and aiming to please in every interaction. Therapy is an unknown for him, and his fear of uncovering the truth is far greater than his fear of not being liked. So he bolts.

This scene could well have been lifted from many of my sessions over the years. There’s a bit of Ted in every therapy client I’ve ever worked with, and an instinctual pushback to therapy is understandable, given there are deeply entrenched societal stigmas associated with reaching out for help. Asking for help is an act of courage, as therapy can be scary and even at times unpleasant: As Dr. Sharon says, “The truth will set you free, but first it will p— you off.”

It takes a leap of faith to engage in therapy, as it’s a process often filled with challenging emotions. Ambivalence is normal and even expected. “Ted Lasso” delivers a raw and honest portrayal of how — with the right therapist — a person can overcome their fears and begin to pursue a more hopeful path. (It’s worth noting here that Ted represents the best-case scenario for someone seeking therapy. He has a quality therapist who has time for him, is conveniently located and is presumably free of charge. In real life, availability, location and cost are major barriers that can prevent people from even getting in the door.)

Still, though Ted is staying for the duration of his sessions with Dr. Sharon at this point, he’s not actually doing the work. So she tries a different angle: Following a traumatic accident on her bike in “Man City,” she worries she’ll be too scared to do one of her favorite activities going forward — and shares these feelings with Ted, using self-disclosure to model behavior for her client. When she’s vulnerable and honest about her emotions, it gives Ted the license to do the same.

A day later, Ted witnesses an altercation between Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster) and his abusive father, and it triggers a reaction. It’s easy to imagine the old Ted swallowing his own feelings and trying to smooth the situation over, but that’s not what happens. Instead, he races outside, calls Dr. Sharon, and tearfully confesses to her that his father took his own life when Ted was 16. And Ted Lasso — both the character and the series — has fully earned this moment, as we’ve witnessed absolutely every step that has led up to his breakthrough.

For a show such as “Ted Lasso” to depict the initial stages of therapy with such care and nuance is an act of generosity. Just as Dr. Sharon modeled desirable behavior for Ted, the series successfully modeled a very real experience that can and does hold people back from finding the support they need. Perhaps Ted will eventually be the catalyst for many of the people in his orbit — looking at you, Nate, Rebecca and Jamie — to seek out time with the doctor as well.

Qualey is a licensed therapist specializing in addiction and trauma with more than a decade of experience in the field. She also works as a freelance writer, often focusing on the intersections among mental health, addiction and pop culture.

[shewholovestoread]

The Haunting of Bly Manor - Ramblings

HERE BE SPOILERS, BEWARE!

The Haunting of Hill House was an exceptional piece of television, both in terms of writing as well as execution. Any follow-up, regardless of its actual merit will be judged unfairly especially because the show is conceived as an anthology- each season is independent, a new story, a new house. In that regard, the key to enjoying Bly Manor is to watch it with no ties to Hill House. A tough thing to do but a must. If you watch Bly Manor, expecting the story and scares from Hill House, you will find it sorely lacking.

Bly Manor and Hill House could not be more different from each other. Other than a few repeated cast members and some behind the scenes crew, it's a completely new concept. Like its predecessor, the season resembles its source material only in the broadest of strokes. There are a bulk of characters, story arcs that don't exist in The Turn of the Screw by Henry James. Instead, Mike Flanagan and his team of writers have woven in other, more obscure stories by James into this television adaptation and the season is richer for it.

The beauty of a show like Bly Manor and indeed even Hill House are its characters. The story is engaging and keeps the audience glued to their seats, the characters though elevate it to a whole new level. I am perhaps waxing poetic but as I sit here having just finished the last episode, I find myself going back to the characters. There is such abundant richness to them, so many layers, even to the ones that we would mostly dismiss as the "villain". The show infuses such heartache into their stories that to label any of them as villainous would be to completely miss the point. Which is not to say that there aren't characters who do absolutely despicable things, like a certain Peter Quint, nor does the show offer them a redemption, merely understanding, a look into their lives.

Unlike Hill House, where a majority of the ghosts retained their menacing and malicious edge, the last 2 episodes of Bly Manor completely rid the ghosts of the house of all that makes them frightening, revealing them to be nothing but unwitting bystanders who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The heartache is a running theme especially among 4 principle characters- Hannah, Owen, Dani and Jamie. Hannah who constantly finds herself in different times, who hasn't yet realised that she's no longer among the living, existing like an echo, repeating the actions in death as she did in life. Filled with regret at the life unlived, the regret of being in love with Owen and never telling him. For Owen to be in love with Hannah but also held back, whether due to his mother's illness or just never being sure of how Hannah felt about him.

I tip my hat to Mike Flanagan. In Hill House he gave us Theo Crain, the only complaint being that perhaps Trish only existed in the story to serve Theo's character. He does a much a better job in Bly Manor with Dani and Jamie. You can see the yearning in Dani's eyes almost as soon as she meets Jamie, there is an instant pull. And then through her flashback, you can see that it was her guilt that was holding her back. And once she let that go of it, you could see her embracing the happiness that came from being with Jamie. Their love for each other was one of the high-points of the show. The way the show concludes, leaves a bittersweet taste, in that, at the end, Dani does come back for Jamie and they can finally be together. And that was just beautiful.

Bly Manor is also beautifully made show, though if I were being honest, I missed some of those brilliant single takes shots from Hill House which were so superbly executed. The structure of the season bares some similarities to that of Hill House, in that almost each episode focuses on a particular character but it's not necessarily from their point of view. With each passing episode, the story slowly unfolds, until the last episode brings everything together like a tapestry unfurling, finally presenting the whole image in its entirety. That's the other thing to watch out for in the show, it is slow, it takes its time, the first episode especially. We have become so used to fast-paced storytelling that there is something soothing about one that takes its time, that also occasionally pauses and lets its inhabitants breathe and simply exist instead of pushing along one story arc or another. I almost miss it which is why shows like this are a treat.

The acting is also top-notch, though some of the accents take some getting used to, most notably Henry Thomas as Henry Wingrave. All of the others, especially the kids Benjamin Evan Ainsworth and Amelie Bea Smith as Miles and Flora respectively were amazing. Special mention also to T'nia Miller who played Hannah Grose with such depth and sincerity. I'm going to mention all of the main cast members because of how amazing they all were- Victoria Pedretti as Dani Clayton, Amelia Eve as Jamie, Oliver Jackson-Cohen as Peter Quint, Tahirah Sharif as Rebecca Jessel, Rahul Kohli as Owen, Carla Gugino as The Narrator. Special mention also to Kate Siegel who only appeared in one episode but owned every frame she was in.

Mike Flanagan was being honest when he said that Bly Manor is gothic romance. It is not the horror-fest that was Hill House. Bly Manor, like Guillermo Del Toro's Crimson Peak, is a love story with ghosts in it. At its core, its about people deeply in love. Some of it, transcendent like Hannah-Owen and Dani-Jamie and some of it toxic like Rebecca-Peter. The Haunting of Bly Manor is a beautiful show and to watch it in the shadow of Hill House is a gross disservice to it's beauty and nuance.

P.S. – Petition to have Victoria Pedretti in the next season of The Haunting and to get a happy ending and if we get a wlw ship, that’s just an added bonus.

P.P.S – Netflix better not cancel this show! Seriously, keep your cancel-happy hands away from this.

[intheseautumnhands]

Sorting The Last 5 Years

Hello I’m back with yet more tiny fandom sorting because I have Thoughts and also, Feelings. Let’s talk about The Last 5 Years, which has ranked consistently among my favorite all-time musicals for so very, very long, and has such great characters for dissecting.

First some brief housekeeping: This is based specifically off the script for the stage show, and the cast recording version by Norbert Leo Butz and Sherie Rene Scott in 2002. I have not been lucky enough to see this live. I also promise no consistency with the movie because I just... nope, sorry, don’t like it. I think I remember things being consistent enough that this’d probably be good for both, but I’m not gonna try to include movie-based thoughts.

Second: I am not purposefully getting into the great “who was at fault” debate but I think my thoughts on them as characters makes it clear that I think both of them have flaws, and that while Jamie crossed a lot more lines at the end, neither of them are blameless for the relationship’s issues. SHC is always kinda YMMV, but even moreso than usually, if you’re really biased towards one side or the other, we probably read these characters very differently. Which is cool and I’d love to hear other opinions! But I will not be surprised if we disagree somewhere along the line.

I’m going to do this slightly different than usual -- since we’ve only got two characters to talk about, and I want to discuss how their houses bounce off each other, I’m going to go by house instead of discussing by character. In addition, I’m going to go Secondary first, because I have a lot I want to say about their Primaries.

Secondaries

In his second song of the show, Jamie tells us exactly how he approaches life: 

But I say no, no, whatever I do I barrel on through, and I don’t complain No matter what I try, I’m flying full speed ahead.... Things might get bumpy, but Some people analyze every details Some people stall when they can’t see the trail Some people freeze out of fear that they’ll fail But I keep rolling on

If I had to pull out one singular moment to crystallize how he approaches things, that’d be it. Jamie doesn’t bother to stop and consider or change his approach. He sees what he wants, and he goes for it, and he’s lucky enough that that works out really, really well for him. And even when it’s a response to hardship, that’s still his approach. Just look at I Could Never Rescue You: so we could fight, or we could wait, or I could go. He decides there’s nothing else worth trying, calls someone else to help him leave, and goes.

Even when it’s not the best idea right now, when tempering what he has to say might help him get what he wants (If I Didn’t Believe In You) he doesn’t do it.  Jamie charges, he’s stubborn, he’s set on what he wants -- he’s a pretty intense Lion, in other words.

Cathy tries to go after what she wants, too, but she ends up with several more obstacles in her way. While a lot of that is luck of the draw, she’s also a little more hesitant overall. Look at her running internal monologue throughout Climbing Uphill, second-guessing every decision (why’d I pick these shoes, why’d I pick this song, why’d I pick this career).  In The Schmuel Song Jamie alludes to the same hesitance: maybe it’s just that you’re afraid to go out onto a limb(-o-vitch), maybe your heart’s completely swayed but your head can’t follow through.

She comes off as having that preparedness of a foundational Secondary -- I don’t see any hints of the breathless charge and certainty of a Lion, or the adaptability of a Snake. I honestly think either Bird or Badger would be suitable for her, and could easily be played into in either direction depending on small acting choices.

Absent of other interpretations, I’m going to lean Bird, off that line from Jamie above and some of the little nuances of Sherie’s performances. There’s a lot of frustration that this all isn’t coming more easily that, while it probably has a lot to do with how easily things have come to Jamie, also leans me away from Badger a little bit; but she’s clearly not unwilling to put in the work, and I could absolutely see that interpretation working just as well.

Primaries

Interestingly, Cathy is outright stated as having the traditional Snake-y trait: don’t you think that now’s a good time to be the ambitious freak you are? That’s not why I’m going to say that Cathy’s a Snake Primary, and Jamie’s clearly got ambitions too, but it does make me smile a little.

Loyalist Cathy’s earliest (timeline-wise) songs are so full of Snake wrap-myself-up-in-my-favorite-person sentiments and lines. Goodbye until tomorrow, goodbye until the rest of my life, and I have been waiting, I have been waiting for you. You don’t have to change a thing, just stay with me. I want you and you and nothing but you, miles and piles of you. I don’t mean to put on any pressure, but I know when a thing is right. Once Jamie’s in her life, that’s it, he’s a priority. It is heartbreaking to go back over this show and realize how much more of what Cathy says is directly about Jamie than the other way around.

Even later on, after we get the first tiny signs of tension, it’s still there. In The Next Ten Minutes: I don’t know why people run, I don’t know why things fall through, I don’t know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you. I could protect and preserve, I could say no and good bye -- but why, Jamie, why? In Summer in Ohio: I found my guiding light, I tell the stars each night, look at me, look at him -- son of a bitch, I guess I’m doing something right.

It’s not even the first time she’s done this. In I Can Do Better Than That, she talks about a previous relationship in the same terms: I gave up my life for the better part of a year. When Cathy gets serious about someone, she makes them her priority,

And that’s what she gets, until that’s all she has, and she lashes out with the exact same thing she wanted at the beginning: you and you, and nothing but you, miles and piles of you. And I don’t think it’s because she didn’t actually want it. It’s because she thought it would be less one-sided.

Because idealist Jamie does put her high in his priorities, but he doesn’t put her first in the same, fixated way. Jamie’s instinctual and set-on-his-decisions Lion Primary chafes against Cathy’s expectation that he’ll put her above what he wants, fed into by that charging, bold instinct from his Secondary.

Which is not to say that Cathy isn’t important to Jamie. But the downfall in their relationship is that what that looks like is so different between the two of them, and they never figure out how to meet middle ground. They’re both unreliable, biased narrators in this story, and neither of them see what the other needs.

A while back, I talked about how different Primaries love. Jamie and Cathy could be case studies in what I said there, and especially in how that love can go bad.

Lion Jamie sees that they both have big dreams, and encourages Cathy to push her way forward on her dreams: Shouldn’t I want the world to see the brilliant girl who inspired me?... Stop temping, and go and be happy! He uses the thing that is most important to him -- his writing -- to encourage her, show her that he sees her hesitance and he believes in her. And when they’re having problems, he puts the blame on how her dreams are going first: Is it just that you’re disappointed to be touring again for the summer? Did you think this would all be much easier than it’s turned out to be?

And that’s where we get, I think, one of the biggest highlights of how they misunderstand each other: If I’m cheering on your side, Cathy, why can’t you support mine? Cathy feels unsupported, Cathy feels like everything has become all about Jamie -- but Jamie feels the same way. The kind of support they need is different, and neither of them see it.

(Even at the height of their love story, the one moment they’re at the same page, The Next Ten Minutes, it says so much to me that Jamie keeps getting these lines about a bigger picture that he and Cathy are just part of: there are so many dreams I need to see with you -- not dreams about them, dreams they can see come true together. I will never change the world, until, I do.)

And Jamie withdraws, and takes her more and more for granted, and steamrolls over her both accidentally -- A Part of That, and Cathy’s fierce declaration of I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels to be trotting along at the genius’ heels getting disproven in front of her eyes -- and then purposefully, when he decides it’s time to stop trying.

Meanwhile, Snake Cathy sees that as the betrayal. She puts him first, makes him the priority, and when she doesn’t get that in return, she sees it as everything being about Jamie instead of the balance being equal. Fed into by her own ambitions going unfulfilled despite her own best efforts, she clings tighter, until he feels suffocated by it: all that I ask for is one little corner, one private room at the back of my heart, tell her I found one, she sends out battalions to claim it and blow it apart.

Until Jamie leaves, and Cathy is left bitter by it: Jamie is probably feeling just fine. Jamie decides it’s his right to decide. Run away, like it’s simple, like it’s right. Because to her steady, solid foundational Secondary and person-focused Snake, Jamie’s impulsive choice and quick action is cowardice at best, proof he doesn’t care as much at worst.

In summary:

Cathy Hiatt is a Snake Primary/foundational Secondary, either works with the text, but based on OCR, likely Bird.

Jamie Wellerstein is a Double Lion.

And Cathy’s person-first version of support VS Jamie’s dreams-first version of support, and their lack of understanding what each other is trying to provide and needs to recieve, is the entire crux of why their relationship fails, with some help from their uneven amounts of luck in their dream careers.

[himbeaux-on-ice]

(You don't have to respond to this) I just wanted to say I agree 100% with you. I think fans of any sport, fans of tv/movie actors & actresses, and any other celebrity fall into this trap of believing that every famous person is our friend. Like they tend not to care about unless it for publicity and even if they do actually care about important issues, they cant or wont speak up due to the chance of being outcasted. And on the fans side we do get way to invasive into celebrity private lives

I think there are plenty of famous people who do a lot of good work for marginalized communities and do show up as allies in meaningful, genuine ways, and we shouldn’t assume that all shows of activism are purely performative! But in general I agree with you here.

We need to remember that the NHL in particular is a notably conservative-cultured sports league in just about all aspects (including conservative as in “unwilling to try new things” lol). Just as importantly we need to remember that, as with any celebrity, the versions of these players we are talking about and being fans about are not real. They are by and large characters that are crafted (with varying degrees of finesse lol) by PR teams and managers and media, and beneath all that is a flawed human person who is capable of all the same mistakes and harms as any of us. They are fallible.

In engaging with them as characters, we are going to project a lot of our own values and beliefs into the blank spots of what we don’t know about them, which is a natural human thing to do. And that isn’t inherently harmful. I think we all want to believe that most people hold the same moral codes as we do until proven otherwise. But especially in a league where many players lean conservative, it’s important not to conflate that projection with somehow “knowing” that they’re “one of the good ones” without them every actually making that clear. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak that way.

I think it’s okay to be an enthusiastic fan of players as long as you on some level recognize the difference between the persona and the person. It’s similar to how a lot of RPF fandom operates on the premise of like, discussing a slightly alternate universe where we politely remove the players wives and families (who are typically not celebrities or public figures and thus did not consent to be involved in these narratives) from the picture in order to write about romances between the public characters of the players, with the implicit understanding that most of do not us believe what we’re writing is real in a conspiracy theory sense. The particular type of fandom we do here is a peculiar kind of multi-layered thing, where we both focus primarily in our works and discussions on those fictionalized personas, while also trying to hold the real people behind them to account to improve the fucked-up culture of this sport. Those two things have to be held in tension, with nuance and a constant need to make judgement calls.

Like, a good example of this two-layers fandom approach is how when I talk about/cheer on Ovi, I’m talking about the character that he is in hockey culture and the hockey narrative and in fanon, not the actual man who is married with children and gets chummy with dictators. I don’t actually think that Ovechkin and Bäckström are in love or that he’s even a person I would get along with or find tolerable in real life. I’m engaging with a character. I engage with pretty much all other NHL-ers the same.

With Ovi and the whole Putin+Trump thing, I don’t find it as necessary for me to personally address or consider as, say, Jamie Benn’s transphobia, because I don’t think the fact of whether I personally (via absolutely no financial support at all) enjoy the persona of a famous Russian hockey player is anywhere NEAR an influential factor in the power those dictators hold. We’re at like six degrees of separation at that point. My five posts a week from watching a pirated Caps stream are such a drop in the bucket in Ovi’s influence and Putin’s that it doesn’t even matter at all whether I do it or not. Putin will continue to be a dictator regardless of whether or not I post gifsets of this hockey player.

But I also recognize that there are times and situations when dealing just with the fictionalization of a player isn’t enough, when it is necessary to step back and make commentary and critique about the flawed human person underneath because they are in a position of visibility and power, and their actions have great influence.

Setting that Ovi example aside, I think there’s an important, nuanced difference when it comes to players who are unapologetically and unreformedly racist, homophobic, transphobic, violent, etc. Because those players are harming people, directly. I’m not talking about players who just support awful politicians, I’m talking about those who explicitly express harmful, bigoted personal opinions from their own platforms or enact direct harm on others personally. When they do this, they are making people less safe, they are making this sport less safe for fans and for other athletes. This cannot be separated from the fame and praise given to their fictionalized personas, because continuing to laud and support and cheer for them directly enables their ability to be in a position of power and influence where they can personally harm people, with actions or with words.

So again, it is important to understand that the version of your favourite player you engage with in the act of most fandom is not a real person, but a character. It is also important to make principled judgement calls, based on your own moral code, as to when is the point at which you can no longer justify promoting and/or financially supporting that character because it means feeding into the influence and ability to commit harms of the real person behind it all. You need to know where the lines between it all are, and where you personally draw a line in the sand you won’t cross. Making the hockey community safer and more welcoming should always be your first priority, because getting to not prioritize that and instead “focus on just having fun” is a privilege only afforded to those who are already safe here.

Support those figures in the league and the sport who choose to use their massively influential platform in this league to go to bat for marginalized people, because you’re right, there is a risk of backlash that comes with that choice, and we (as in the broader many-faceted community of hockey fans) should try to positively reward and reinforce them taking that risk if we want to see more of it! It’s an important part of making this sport something that everyone (except bigots and abusers) can be a part of.

But yeah, it isn’t healthy to pretend that you have a knowing personal relationship with these famous people, or to put responsibility/trust for your emotional well-being into their hands when they don’t even know they’ve been given it. Parasocial relationships like that can really fuck you up if you get sucked too deep into them. Understand that you don’t know these people, and be prepared in advance to make some difficult choices if you don’t like it when they show you who they really are.

(And feel free to grieve privately about the outlet or fun thing or favourite character you lose if you decide you cannot support them anymore. That feeling of betrayal is real for you, and it is okay to feel it and work through it as long as you understand that it might not always be appropriate to focus on doing so publicly (an example of it being inappropriate to focus publicly on your feelings would be a white fan lamenting how sad it is for you personally that your fav turned out to be racist).)

Take care, anon. 💜

[clare-with-no-i]

I definitely see the Potters having a house elf, if anything because they were on the older side and even if not as 'upper class' as the other pureblood families, Fleamont's dad was still a member of the wizengamot. So.. Also them being older, maybe they would have liked help with baby James. I like the idea of a house elf as a babysitter for baby James, cherishing and loving him, kind of a contrast of Sirius/Kreacher dinamic. But when his parents die, and James and Lily are already married 1

they decide to free Pinky, because she's old as well, have been with his parents since the beginning, so James sends her to Hogwarts, because he knows it's the best place to be. Years down the line Pinky is old and a bit cranky, and she doesn't work that much as well, and the younger elfs in the kitchens treat her with respect and love, and then one night, Harry comes in the kitchens, and she hears that laugh, so so similar to the one of her baby James, she sees those black hair, that she used to try to tame, with no result, they would always come back, messy as ever, but she would love them even more. and she sees Harry, and all she can see is her Jamie's face, and suddenly she doesn't feel that old and cranky anymore.

--

oh man, what a vivid and wonderful headcanon! thank you so much for sharing it with me.  I love what you've said about Pinky here, and her relationship to both James and Harry - just heartbreaking to remember all of the people around James and Lily who are left in their wake. it could bring a tear to your eye. phew. “she sees the black hair she used to try and tame...all she can see is her Jamie’s face,” yo you really didn’t have to go that hard!!! fml 😢😢

I don’t really talk about the house-elf situation very much because I’m still admittedly trying to sort through my thoughts on the fact that one of the things we have to buy into as a fandom is...slavery (????).  It’s really interesting to get into the intricacies and nuances of how house-elves function in the magical world. but I definitely think that the Potter family had at least a few, and that speaks to how surprisingly relative a lot of discussions can be about “right and wrong” in pureblood culture - I mean, this is the Potter family! we love them! but this adds a layer to our understanding of their characters for sure.

thank you again for this! xx

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Jamie Johnson 5x07

And there you have it, people! We’ve spent close to 5 seasons with Dillon Simmonds, and tonight we got to understand him on a deeper level than ever before. I mean, it was already true, but tonight firmly established Dillon as the most fully realized character on the show. As for our titular character, well…

First things first, I actually think Zoe played her cards correctly tonight, despite generally being in the wrong. Giving Kat the pendant when she found it would have been the best thing to do, but she’s Zoe, so this was the next best thing. Giving it back just before or during the game might have caused animosity between the girls on the pitch, so Zoe instead went into pep talk mode. And get this: she actually sounded genuine!

Bruh, I am tide of these youngins and their drama. Eric was in the wrong in regards to the bag incident with Liam last week, but the situation is clearly more complex than that which Alba of all people should understand. As leader, she should sit them both down and have a fair and nuanced (or as nuanced as a 13 year old can be) discussion about *all* the factors that brought us to this point. 

But this whole “Apologize! Don’t wanna? You can’t sit with us!” schtick that she’s pulling yet again does not sit right with my spirit. She’s minimalizing Eric’s feelings. Just because she’s ready to forgive Liam doesn’t mean Eric should be as well. Especially since her desire to forgive Liam conveniently lines up with her wanting/needing Liam to win some games. Maybe the cost of winning for Eric isn’t the same as Alba’s. And if Eric wants to run off and find himself a boo thang? YOU DO YOU, KING.

Jamie Johnson is a hot mess, and I am about to start printing  #JusticeForBoggy t-shirts, 50% off Pride Month special. On the one hand, I am interested in these recent plot developments concerning Boggy because it means that his character will finally get something to work with. On the other hand, WTF Jamie? I admit that I don’t have the best memory, but did Jamie not look both ways when he was in the street? Wasn’t Jamie’s Dad not looking where he was going because he was too busy seeing dollar signs? Due to their own negligence, that makes both of them more at fault than Boggy. Not that we should be assigning fault anyway.

How, how did Jamie arrive at the conclusion that the accident was Boggy’s fault? And this is why I say those kids don’t appreciate Boggy. What he did for Jamie is perfectly in line with him being there for him literally every step of the way since season 1. Even Boggy’s involvement in the accident was because of him wanting to protect Jamie. You have to wonder, does Jamie really appreciate Boggy? His convo with Freddie said one thing, his actions told a whole nother story. If I were Boggy, I’d write Jamie a nice letter saying how I feel and then leave him all the way alone.

And Mike and the team kept heralding Jamie as someone they should be fighting for. Jamie not wearing any team colors, not cheering anybody on, not even wanting to be in a picture is to me not somebody I want to be inspired by. If I were Kat (having shown up with no knowledge of the team), I literally wouldn’t even think twice about Jamie since he clearly cannot be bothered. I get that he’s angry, but he can’t just lash out at the people who have been most supportive of him.

Anyways, I am glad that the team won and went out on a high note. Even though Jamie’s a mess, this was still Dillon’s episode. And it was great. We got more “straight” puns, we got the hintiest-hint of Delliot, but most importantly we got several acknowledgments of how far Dillon has come. And now that he’s coming to terms with himself *and* may have secured the bag with Foxborough, Dillon may well be entering the greatest years of his life yet.

It’s amazing just how far we have come with gay characters. When I was Disney Channel young, that was simply unheard of. Now, so many teen dramas have some variation of LGBT representation, and what with shows like this, Diary of a Future President, and Andi Mack, even the tweens are starting to tell more stories. I will say that my peeps from across the pond are much more firm and uncensored and unapologetic about their message, which makes the whole thing feel more genuine. 

So there you have it. Now that we’re halfway through, there’s a few questions left to answer. Will Jack show up one more time to get Zoe more pressed than a panini sandwich? Is Dillon about to embark on a coming-out journey, or is he about to be outed? How much of a dick can Liam and Dillon’s Dad be? Is Delliot even a thing? Will the girls get their chance to get on the women’s team? Will Alba stop doing the absolute most? Is Indira ever going to come back on this show in any capacity? Will there be justice for Boggy?

Questions that need answers.

BTW, y’all did notice the missing scene, right? And did you see that the Indian guy who replaced Kat was behind Mike again when he cheered at the final goal?

[bestofallhans]

Normal problems?

I liked the BBC’s adaptation of Normal People. I watched it fast, and felt nostalgic for those years of my own life in equal measure to realising how universal the feelings of self-doubt, discovery and searching are amongst the age group it depicts. But the more I think about it, the more I have issues with the story as a representation of sexuality, awakening, and the transition from childhood to adulthood. What initially feels like a very 2020 treatment of teenaged sex - lots of double checking on consent and mutual pleasure - is actually not all that egalitarian or progressive on second glance. Here’s how I saw it…

Her narrative arc isn’t clear

Initially, Normal People is the story of Marianne. She’s obnoxious to her teachers, arrogant to her peers and like many of us in that last year before university; she can’t hide her disdain for her small-pond hometown a second longer. So far, so relatable.

***SPOILERS FROM HERE ON!***

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What troubled me though was not how far she came, but the opposite. In the last episode, she asks Connell’s mum what people think of her own mother. The answer is “she’s a bit odd”, and most certainly, we are directed to feel Marianne’s realisation of how similar they are rather than how different. Most of us over 30 might say we’ve had this moment. “There but for the grace of God….” mixed with the revelation that our parents are both human thus flawed, and that they were trying their best to give us more than they had - even if it really didn’t feel like it at the time.

But the problem is - I didn’t feel she had come very far. Only a few minutes before (admittedly 4 months in plot time), she was telling Connell he could do whatever he wanted to her. If there was something I wanted from Marianne at the end, it was the idea that despite appearances, she would put herself first. But she never does. Even in the final scene, she’s telling Connell that he should go do his thing, and she’ll stay put. She says they don’t know if they’ll wait for each other, but she doesn’t seem to offer much that she’ll be doing in the meantime, other than perhaps finding another poor substitute for Connell, who’ll either turn out to be abusive or a damp squib.

Her fierce intellect got her a scholarship, but we have no idea what she’s doing with it. Whilst Connell finds himself in multiple golden opportunity situations, the assurance Marianne had of her place in the world has disappeared and we haven’t even noticed.

My point is that the girls who get ‘A’s across the board at school are erased from professional success in the real world, and if this was supposed to be anything other than a mirror of that, it fails. Marianne’s intellect is erased before she’s even graduated. Now everyone recognises Connell’s brain, and she’s literally standing on the sidelines (when his triumphant literary journal is published).

Bechdale test: does not pass

In fact, we spend a lot of time listening to men speak and women allow them to. The only person who carries on referencing Marianne’s brain is ace friend Joanna. But this is poised with its own problems too. Joanna is bypassed for a sexual storyline, talked over by Jamie (albeit with a nonplussed side-eye), and even vocalises her own fate: “did we get married and become 50 without noticing?”

Which brings me on to the most disappointing element of the adaptation. I realise this is a romance, and thus our main concern is going to be, well, the lovers, but good lord do people think of nothing else? Even at 20, I was very aware that I wanted to have friends whose pants-contents I was not interested in. 

The frisson of meeting new people as an adult is definitely intoxicating, and for many people I realise that this is the first time they’ve been doing this stuff (I wasn’t far ahead) but the whole plot centred on who was in whom. 

Wait, it’s more nuanced than that - no female character was allowed an identity that did not reference her sexual choices: Marianne, Lorraine (“you were my teenaged mistake, son”), Peggy (“you could have a threesome with me”, “everyone’s saying she’s into S&M, was that your influence?”), Denise (defined by her violent ex and equally shitty son) etc, etc. 

Connell and several other male characters, some of who we know very little else about, have career prospects (Alan is doing well at work over family dinner), interests (debating, photography, writing) and friendships that don’t revolve around outing each other’s sexual proclivities (even poor Rob). This is based on a novel written by a woman. I’m disappointed her female characters can’t have an identity beyond their sex lives. 

Her sexuality is up for judgement, his is not

Then there’s this undercurrent of ‘why’ both Marianne and Connell are drawn back to each other. From about halfway through, I thought we were going to get a revelation about Marianne’s childhood; either her dad or brother or maybe both, had abused her. I thought I saw a few hints of this, but nothing transpired. 

The reason I am disappointed by this is nothing to do with ‘wanting’ there to be that storyline present. I felt that ‘the way’ Marianne ‘is’ was being judged. It’s easy to see a short jump from Jamie’s insecurity to him wanting to act out porn style sex to make himself feel powerful. But as she spirals into increasingly more detached relationships, I felt the judgement amp up. The sadder she is, the heavier the masochism gets. 

But, and I’m no expert, that isn’t how it works. If Marianne is expressing her preferences, they are not altered by her sadness. They do not represent her ‘broken-ness’ and will not go away when she’s ‘fixed’ or happy. Here, I found a deep misrepresentation of ‘normal sex’, that is both damaging to the viewer’s understanding of the breadth of sexual preferences and the plot. So, if she was asking for things she didn’t want - why no address that? We’re left believing that she only wanted to be hurt because she thought that was the only way she was attractive to whichever man. Neither is gives Marianne much agency. 

Connell on the other hand is a nice, normal boy who wants to have nice, normal sex. In fact, so little of his characterisation is about his sexuality, we only ever see him have sex with one other person - Helen. And it could be Marianne if you squint a bit. We aren’t asked to align Connell’s enjoyment of sex with his state of mind or his success as an adult. In fact, it’s a mistake that everyone forgives him for as a schoolboy - he was obsessed with people finding out he was with Marianne, and as Eric points out, “everyone knew” and no one even mentioned it. Whilst Marianne only experiences everyone’s judgement more as she gets older. 

Where does it leave us? 

I haven’t read the book. I don’t think anyone who made the series sat down and thought ‘let’s make this show shame female sexuality and erase female intelligence’. But this is the feeling I was left with. A beautifully shot, cast and acted piece of TV that doesn’t quite hit the mark on progressive attitudes to female agency isn’t a crime; but it’s a missed opportunity. 

[karl-jenkins]

Things I love about: Joe Idris-Roberts as Albus Potter

Joe’s acting is so layered and nuanced, and I've absolutely fallen in love with his Albus during the six months that I've been seeing the show regularly. I wanted a place to put into writing some of the little touches and choices that I've loved most about his Albus.

-        When Albus says “I stayed for your sweets,” he turns it into his own little song, elongating the “swee-eets” and it’s the sweetest thing. Scorpius always seems so relieved that he hasn’t messed up by singing his little song.

-        In the blanket scene, Albus is so full of hope that the blanket truly is lucky and that it’s going to be the answer to his problems. When he holds the blanket (often copying the way that Harry held it), his hope very quickly turns into disappointment and frustration.

-        Another thing he has started to do in the blanket scene is put his feet up on the bed with his legs over the blanket to show how little it means to him. Jamie’s Harry is clearly very distressed by this and reaches out as if he wants to say something or move him off.

-        After Delphi kisses him, his reactions are so cute. Sometimes he would write things on the floor with his foot, sometimes he would do a little dance. He always has this dreamy little look on his face and is every bit the lovestruck teenager with a crush.

-        In the first alternate reality when Ron gives Albus the quills, Joe opens the box full of anticipation, sometimes closing his eyes and craning his head away, clearly expecting some kind of practical joke.

-        During the Station Master scene, he would stand slightly behind Martin and shrug at Scorpius, miming that he has no idea what he’s talking about. But, whenever Martin would look at him, he’d nod seriously and act as if Scorpius was being dim by not understanding.

-        The hug on the staircase at the end – Joe rests his head down on top of Scorpius’ for a moment before pulling away in what I can only describe as gay panic. I always read that moment as “hugging my friend is not supposed to feel like that” and I feel like it hints at the beginning of Albus realising his feelings for Scorpius.

-        He changes things up slightly when Tom Peters is playing Harry. Tom’s Harry is much more reserved and seems like he doesn’t know how to show affection. The moment they say goodbye on Platform 9 ¾ is painfully awkward. I’ve seen them do an awkward wave to each other and on Tom’s last show as Harry, Joe offered his hand for Tom to shake.

-        Again, specifically for Tom’s Harry, Joe changes up the way he says Harry is coming up for “a walk”. He does an impression of Tom’s Harry – same body language, same brusque tone of voice and it made me laugh so much. It was such a beautifully observed little touch.

-        When he’s about to do magic, he rubs his wand on his sleeve first, a little habit of Albus’ as if he thinks his wand will work better that way. When I spoke to him about this at stage door he told me that the wand is an instrument that channels his magic and it made sense to him that you would need to charge it up to make it work. He also told me that he holds his wand so that it always comes into contact with the vein on his wrist that’s direct to the heart.

-        He fits the descriptions that other characters use about Albus so well. His dry humour is perfect, and you can also see how his teachers would see him as surly, uncooperative and isolating himself.

-        He’s so emotionally closed up around Harry, tense and awkward but shows his vulnerable side to Ginny and Scorpius. Around Harry and James, humour doesn’t land well with him but with Scorpius, humour seems to come naturally and it’s a brilliant contrast.

-        You couldn’t really imagine two people more different than his Albus and Scorpius – he’s reserved, stubborn, closed off whereas Scorpius is dorky and awkward and endearing. And yet they balance each other out and have a beautifully played friendship based on mutual respect.

-        His performance is never one-note. While the basis of Albus may stay the same, Joe is always experimenting. Trying things out, seeing what lands, and he feeds so well off the energy from the audience. I feel like he really understands Albus and he has put so much time, effort and research into his performance.

The first couple of times I saw the play, I wasn’t bothered about Albus that much. I was so enchanted by dorky, sweet Scorpius that I didn’t give Albus as much consideration as I should have. Seeing Joe play Albus has ignited in me a deep love, understanding and appreciation for him as a character. He reminds me of myself as a teenager and the rocky relationship I had with my own dad. Both reaching out in our own way but missing the mark. Because of him, Albus has grown to be one of my favourite characters of all time and I’m so excited to see other people take on the role and show me their unique interpretations. Of all the people leaving the cast on the 19th, Joe will definitely be one of the people I will miss most but I am so excited to see where his career will go from here and I am so grateful to have been lucky enough to see him play Albus over twenty times.

[sidneycrosbyisawitch]

Would you do an analysis of Tyler? His character etc

if i could count the number of words i’ve spilled about tyler jacqueline seguin, it would surely be astronomical. and still i wouldn’t say i’ve ever approached capturing all the beautiful nuances of how complex and wonderful he is.

but if i were to try to reach out and grasp just a few qualities that make up the constellation of who tyler is (with help from lina @betheproof), it’d look something like this:baby boytyler is his momma’s first baby, her only boy, and (like all hockey players) he’s a momma’s boy and loves to be loved. then he’s drafted second overall to the boston bruins, a team of veteran guys where he’s the only rookie. i think it’s a mistake when we write off tyler’s time with the bruins as if they didn’t care about him or were wrong for him. because they loved tyler.

he had a team full of daddies and older brothers taking care of him, and they won the stanley fucking cup in his rookie season. we can’t ignore how fucking formative that was. hockey media still talks about the 2011 bruins like they were the most incredible thing to ever happen to hockey. they say that locker room would have killed and died for each other. tyler still has a group chat with that team. that is the environment that raised tyler. a bunch of older guys who would kill for him.(but at the same time, it wasn’t perfect, and that oftentimes left tyler to his own devices in a high pressure market. and management watched that happen, and then they fucked up.)tyler makes such a point to say how it was good for him to come to dallas where most of the guys were his own age (even though jamie’s a little older, tyler adds). it was good for him because it meant someone was taking care of him on and off the ice. jamie (and jordie and the rest of the guys) didn’t have families to go home to at the end of the night. they didn’t have to leave tyler alone. tyler needed someone to basically live on top of him and that’s exactly what jamie did.there are so many things that make tyler a baby boy. his need for attention and praise. the way he knows how to use his body and constantly positions himself as a sexual object. tyler flirts like he’s getting paid because he wants that extra layer of attention and interest. all of this is to say: tyler has a need to be taken care of. (he says jamie tamed him, but jamie just gave him what he needed in large enough doses that it settled something inside of him. tyler still has fun, he just doesn’t tip over the edge.)performance / performativityspeaking of the being tamed comment, tyler is well aware of his role the narratives spun around him. it isn’t a stretch to say that, in addition to his talent on the ice, dallas acquired tyler to be a face of the franchise. they threw him into media as soon as he touched down, and tyler was expected to carry the weight of the media attention for not only his own trade but also jamie’s new captaincy. dallas started throwing out the k*ne and toews comparisons real early. (”aren’t we the bestest of friends?” “only to media.”) they wanted that kind of narrative for themselves, and jamie and tyler lived up to it in a big way. after being a player criticized for immaturity, tyler grew to hold half the weight of the dallas stars. he says the right things at the right times. he makes sure he brings out the best in jamie and brings everything back to the party line. (that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to subtly subvert the party line when he needs to, though. he might be hyper-aware of his role, but that doesn’t mean he’s a bland puppet for the org.) then there’s the way tyler is his own voyeur. all professional athletes are to some extent, right? tyler tells the eye of the tiger story about his dad watching him play hockey when he was little. from a young age, tyler has always been hyper-aware of being looked at and judged and it manifests in so many ways. being a top competitor, obviously. but there’s also the way he embraces his looks and his body and the way people look at him. the body issue. photoshoots. that Basic instagram story. (he knows people are looking and he knows how to work it.)he also does this thing lina noticed where he points out “flaws” before anyone else can (even the tiniest things) and jokes about them. not quite self-deprecating, but gently making fun of himself. it makes him more human, but also diffuses criticism before it starts. a donut stain on his coat. chewing gum too aggressively. someone thinks i’m way better at hockey.tyler’s social media and the moments he chooses to share are an extension of the performance. he’s so fucking honest with us in so many ways, but they’re still carefully selected and curated moments. even during that awful fucking r*adtrip last season, tyler still posted an update for every city. it isn’t just media promotion, it’s a genuine outlet for him. when his grandparents passed away, he pulled his heart out on instagram. he wants us to see the puppies he’s so proud of, his home, his family, his team. he wants us to see those parts of himself especially. interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligencetyler doesn’t get enough credit for just how smart and introspective he actually is. it’s like you table dance with strippers one time and everyone forgets you’re a multifaceted human capable of more than being a lushy flirt. (not that the lushy flirt side of tyler isn’t incredible and important, as well.)but tyler clearly understands himself and other people better than most. in the at home video from this summer, tyler talks about how his early career gave him a skewed perception of how easy it is to make it to the championship round and team bonds and what vegas did versus what the stars didn’t do. he talks about going on the water to think. it’s all so perfectly illustrative of how much thought and introspection tyler is capable of. he knows who he is and where his heart is. and tyler’s relationships with others, what can really be said here that isn’t self-evident. tyler knows how to make people love him. he’s charming and fun and craves social attention and affection. tyler needs a pack. (he created his own little pack of pups for when he can’t fill his house with human companions.)but more than that, he understands how people work and gives them what they need. it’s why he was so good for jamie. it’s why guys love him. it’s even why we love him. expressiveness and physicalityin a sport full of men deeply media trained to be as boring as possible, we aren’t treated to a whole lot of facial expressions. men in general tend to be less expressive than women, supposedly. maybe that’s why we lose our shit when guys in this league make a single face and why tyler’s body language can read very feminine and at times submissive. because tyler is so fucking expressive. he’s got those puppy eyebrows that give his whole face life. he smiles and pouts, grimaces and laughs, with so much abandon. when he feels something, he expresses it, even exaggerates it. and it’s not just his face, his body is so expressive, too. he talks with his hands, he’s constantly touching his face/neck/shoulders when he speaks. he presses close to people and likes to be touched back. as lina always says, one of tyler’s most important love languages is physical touch. obviously, as with all athletes, his body is his livelihood and he’s so in tune with it and comfortable with his sensuality. meaning: he’ll call his chest his boobs, no problem. then he’ll tattoo them because his body is his and he loves it. and then he’ll pull up his shirt in the middle of a party and play with his nipples for the camera. and he’ll be beautiful the whole time.home and familyif you haven’t read julie dobbs’ recent blog post, please go do so now. tyler’s defining characteristic is that he’s a family guy with a good heart. he’s an unashamed momma’s boy, an awesome big brother, and a proud provider. family is probably the single most important thing in tyler’s life. he loves them with everything he has. he shares their happiness and their heartbreak with us.  he has a cottage outside toronto that he lovingly turned into a home and filled it with friends and family all summer. he takes so much pride in the fact that it’s become a place his family uses even when he’s in dallas.which brings us to dallas. a home he never wanted or expected, but he made it his own, anyways. (and how fucking hard must it have been to leave boston? a place tyler considered home for years? a city he still loves?) he grew into himself and settled deep into the heart of texas. dallas is home, tyler says. and it’s more than a media platitude. tyler chose to stay there -- fought to stay there, actually, by essentially having to jumpstart contract negotiations himself. tyler has grown so, so much since he came to dallas, and the sense of home started with jamie.tyler and jamie essentially lived together. tyler didn’t get the typical experience of bunking with another rookie and living out of each other's pockets  at the NHL level until he got to dallas and met jamie. that, and the group of young teammates, are what started dallas being home for tyler. living in the same building, which transitioned to buying houses down the street. jamie was the most important pack member, and tyler started nesting into dallas. turned his houses (with help from jackie) into beautiful homes where he can host his whole family for christmas, now. he got more dogs to add to his pack, his need to nurture and provide kicking into a higher gear. he has brampton on his arm, boston on his ribs, but dallas is in his heart.superstaronce upon a time, tyler was a tiny kid who thought he’d have to play college hockey and work his ass off if he ever wanted to get a glimpse of the NHL. he was ready to put in that work, every single day, just for a chance.then he went second overall and won a cup.   of course so much of tyler’s identity revolves around being a really fucking good hockey player. their highs and lows depend upon performance, that’s not unique, but it is still so important to who tyler is. he’s a goal scorer, an all star, a stanley cup champion. he’s the kid who went out after a tough loss in boston (a loss blamed on him) and sat down to eat alone. he’s the guy who fucking beamed in an interview after jamie got him a promised goal to break his drought. and he’s the guy who’s gracefully shouldering the undeserved criticism of his play while it probably tears him up inside.but tyler is a star, and what do stars do best? shine.growthtyler was a kid who was easily led astray (and he was a teenage boy, of course he was). during the draft, taylor hall was already poised and well-trained and it was only his presence that stopped tyler from following where he shouldn’t go. and boston saw him following there a bit too much. but tyler grew. he proved them wrong. tyler’s tweets have been used to teach rookies how not to social media, and now tyler has a sweet, responsible insta presence. tyler was known as an immature party boy, and now he (definitely still parties but) loves to be in the home he made for himself. he’s a leader on the stars, helped jamie become captain and lead the team. his game has evolved so much that he’s crucial on every part of the ice, in all situations, and had a career high season last year. he’s the stars’ you can play ambassador. he funded a ball hockey court and youth center for underserved kids.he was always capable of more.   tyler grew into himself and his role. he’s poised, charming, responsible -- all while being entirely himself. this summer, tyler did nothing but grow and he did it for himself. alone, but not lonely. he learned how to box. he grew his hair out like he’s always wanted. he visited spain and scotland and knocked two countries off the little list of places he wants to go that he keeps in his iphone notes.and now, through all of this new pain, he’s going to grow again.

[darisu-chan]

Things that I’m upset about this episode:

1) They haven’t been able to write Varys at all. Varys, along with Little Finger, was one of the people moving everybody like it was a game of chess. If you read the books, you know just how important to everything Varys is. His death was anticlimatic and didn’t accomplish anything. If he had sent that letter, then yes, he would have at least done something.

2) Cersei being dumbed down and forgetting her own father sacked King’s Landing and stormed the Red Keep, so she knows it’s doable. Also, I half expected her to use wildfire against Daenerys or something. Anything instead of just standing there and watching it all go down. Also, her freaking death was anticlimatic and painfully boring. What about the prophecy you ask? Well prophecies mean shit apparently, but they at least could have haunted Cersei, instead there was nothing. By the way, Cersei doesn’t truly love Jamie. She was attracted to him and had a special bond with him solely because he’s the only man who will ever look like her. What Cersei wanted was power. The only people she ever truly loved were her children, and at least that aspect remained. But the final scene between her and Jamie felt off after everything they did to each other.

3) Speaking of which, Jamie literally threw all he had learned out of the window the same way he did with Bran. It’s only for Brienne, but Jamie had to learn to give up Cersei. All his life he did whatever Cersei and his father wanted. Throughout the story, slowly but surely he learned to be who he actually was and not the person his father and sister wanted him to be. You’re telling me that after all that growth he just went back to her? Seriously? And they died in a loving embrace as if they were the Westeros equivalent of Romeo and Juliet? Nah, screw that. What a cliché ending.

4) The Cleganebowl wasn’t awful, but it could have been better, just saying.

5) Arya should have used her training as an assassin. I mean, she managed to kill the Night King, and then nothing happened this episode. I’m half expecting her wanting to kill Daenerys now, but who knows at this point.

6) Jon just did nothing. He might as well not have been in this episode at all. The only thing that was notable was him realizing Daenerys lost her mind, which might lead him to doing something in the finale. But at what cost.

7) Tyrion’s been getting stupider and stupider for two or three seasons now, but this takes the cake. And it all comes down to how they changed his character from the books. Tyrion hated his father and Cersei in the books with a burning passion. He wouldn’t have cared if Cersei got brutally murdered, specially if it was to save other people. He literally doesn’t care for her, at all. In the books, after Jamie helps him escape, they argue about Cersei, and Tyrion opens his eyes: “ You poor stupid blind crippled fool. Must I spell out every little thing for you? Very well. Cersei is a lying whore, she's been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know. And I am the monster they all say I am. Yes, I killed your vile son.” Do you really think Tyrion would plan to let Jamie go and rescue their sister knowing the type of person she is? Tyrion knows Cersei doesn’t love Jamie, that she has just been using him. It goes against everything he is to let Jamie save her. If the intended plan was for Jamie to kill her to surrender King’s Landing, then yes, I agree with his plan. But it wasn’t what happened, so it means nothing.

8) Daenerys going Mad Queen. I mean, I knew it’d happen. It’s not the first time she had claimed she’d burn everything to pieces. And yes, she did say she would conquer the Seven Kingdoms as her ancestors had done, with blood and fire. It was foreshadowed, and although it’s not something a lot of us particularly like, we knew it was a possibility. However, I’m calling it out. She should’ve burned the Red Keep first, with Cersei in it, which didn’t happen right way. It was not that in character, even with all her losses, having Daenerys just snap like that, even as revenge. Cersei didn’t care for the people or their opinion, she wouldn’t have cared if they burned, and honestly, she didn’t. So why burn them all down? What did that accomplish? If there had been something else beside the bells which set her off, if the crowd had booed her, if Jon maybe had said something else to imply they would hate her, if Varys had managed to get to a lord or someone who would want to crown Jon, then yes, I’d understand it more. It seemed more for shock value than an actual cause-effect situation. Yes, GRRM writes very shocking and gruesome deaths, however there’s always a catalyst, a clue you can pick on that makes complete sense. They failed at writing this scene, and if in the books it goes exactly like this, I’ll be very disappointed.

9) The Golden Company. They completely erased the history of the Golden Company and how they’re related to the Targs. They also are suppossed to be an important plot point in the books. Yet here, they’re just there. Nobody cared about their role. I mean, not even Cersei seemed worried after they were burned down. 

In any case, although I’m not going to claim it’s the worst episode ever written, it’s not the best and not the climax we were expecting. It goes to show how the moment you change and ignore plot points that are leading up a major event, the climax has not the same impact it could’ve had otherwise, and you’re left with shock value as your only tool, which, by the way, it will never compare to the nuances of writing every scene and dialogue meticulously.