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1lenii · 1 year

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Fuck them kids

Miles (G) Morales x F!Reader

⚠️⚠️⚠️THE SONG IS FOR SATIRE PURPOSES⚠️⚠️⚠️

The classic, don’t underestimate me cs I’m a girl

As you know, bonding time with miles as he proves “Fuck these kids, that’s 4ever the moto” - Kali

⚠️cursing, degrading means against children, bullying if you wanna call it that, mentions of violence(only for the game and physical irl)

For the sake of decency these middle schoolers are in 8th grade and miles and (Y/N) are sophomores

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Fuck you and your dead rat dumbass, where your mom at”

(Y/N) peeps her head from the crack of her boyfriends room, as he yelling more than normal at his game.

“Oh yea?? What you gonna do go cry about it?”

(Y/N) heard murmuring from the other side of the headset that’s seemed to respond in a more ruder tone then last time,

through the headset that rested atop of Miles head leaving a dent in the half that had his Afro and sitting perfectly on the side that had 2 braids

(Basically half out and other half braided; with a hair pick from more visual representation)

‘Seems he got distracted while doing his hair again’ (Y/N) mentally notes, and imaginary sweat drop forming next to her eye brow

“Uh Miles..”

“What.”

“Are those the same middle schoolers from down the block?”

“No..”

The uncertainty of Miles tone gave it away, (Y/N) open the door even more allowing her body access to the room, positioning her self behind Miles gaming chair

“Don’t you think you should be nicer?”

“Nice? When was that a option for you” Miles side eyes you before returning back to the aggressive violation that is shooting

(Y/N) slightly gasps, putting a hand to her chest for effect while pouting

“I’m nice”

“When you want to be”

“I guess, you should still be nicer to them, there only in middle school after all”

“Nu uh ma, fuck these kids” Miles says through the headset noise, violently pressing at his controller

“Papi you can’t be violating kids because they shooting better or whatever it they’re doing” (Y/N) says not being able to contain her laugh

“Como esto es un chiste, why don’t you come play” he’s say taking off his headset and gesturing it towards you, raising a eyebrow in the process

(Y/N) takes the invitation taking the headset and adjusting the muffs to fit her head, Miles pulls her by the waist adjusting her so she sit right on his lap, passing her the controller

“AiI Ma I taught you the basics not to long ago, do your best”

“You talking knowing damn well I’m better then you”

“Not true”

��Keep dreaming pretty boy”

*initiate operating: the mic is now on*

(For my sake a yours I’ll change of the writing style)

Kid 3: Yooo miles you back? I was getting tired of cooking you

(Y/N): oh were you really?

Kid 2: whoa.. who you?

(Y/N): his girlfriend ya kids clueless

Kid 1: booo I got a girl for a teammate wtf

Kid 2: must suck LMAO

Kid 3: don’t worry girly I’ll make sure you the one ending up clueless

(Y/N) just laughs along with Miles who whispers ‘watch yaself’ into the mic

Few minutes into the game and (Y/N) already gotten 20 points for her team

Kid 1: woah I didn’t know your that good

Kid 2: don’t praise her the game ain’t over dickhead

*the game has now ended, with a score of 15 to 62 Miles/Kid1 Wins*

The In game announcer announces as (Y/N) cracks her fingers, “and that’s how’s it’s done little boys, before ya go assuming ya better then a girl, humble yourself maybe you’ll get a girl after”

Kid 3 gf: uhhh who are you talking about little girl watch who you talk to

This random girl appears on the mic, sounding sassy like almost irking (Y/N)

“Don’t test me, who you calling little girl” (Y/N) says with a sadistic smile

“You, what are you deaf, it’s on sight when I see you, don’t talk to my man again”

And with that the girl left the call for kid 3

“Can’t wait to see how that pans out” Miles laughs into your back hugging at your waist

“That little bitch trying” (Y/N) says with the same smile

“It’s fuck them kids right?”

(Y/N) sighs leaving the conversation open for further and future elaborations

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s been three days since that game, (Y/N)

Has been chilling knowing she would get touched ‘obviously their empty threats’ (Y/N) deadpanned

While walking the block she catches up with Miles who HAS FINALLY DONE HIS HAIR, was in front of 2 kids around his height and girl

“Ohoho look who decided to show up”

(Y/N) analyzes all of them, “who are you?”

“Better remember me little girl”

“I’m not so little if you looking up to me😭 it’s was on sight, right? I’m waiting and make this quick” (Y/N) dropping her bag food over to Miles, who was literally un phased knowing how this was about play out

“Oh fo’real? Ii girl if you says so” the girl from the match 3 days ago, rolls up her sleeves already swinging

(Y/N) dodge dragging Miles by the hand leaving them behind

The girl fell flat on her face with her bf attending to her

While the other kids said ‘hey!’ And a bunch of other things to retaliate too

(Making this cliche bare with me)

(Y/N) and Miles walk further and deeper into the street into the fading color of the sunset hitting the streets and the buildings with in

“Miles, fuck them kids”

Miles chuckles leaning in to kiss the top of her head, smiling shortly after

“Fuck them kids”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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stateswscarlet · 5 months

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hi scar! this isn't a success story per se but more a realization that i've finally come to the point where i literally don't give a rats ass about the 3d. i found out something about my sp that normally would absolutely destroy me but i literally just have no reaction. like i cried for maybe 5 min and then i was like....why am i crying lmao?????? i already decided it's mine, this 3d circumstance literally has NO control over my decision. like it's actually such a crazy feeling, i felt all of my anxiety immediately drain away. i enjoy this feeling of knowing that what i want is already mine more than i could enjoy a 3d "comforming" (i hate that term but you know what i mean). i guess im realizing as i type this that this IS a success story because isn't this literally the definition of changing self ? i just felt the need to share this because it's genuinely one of the greatest, most fulfilling feelings and realizations ive ever had. i struggled before with enjoying my imagination because i would immediately go "but the 3d..." every time and not allowing myself to enjoy it. i spent a lot of nights struggling to sleep and ruminating over "shitty" circumstances - now i realize im the one who decides it's shitty and nothing FEELS shitty anymore. i can think about the circumstances and IMMEDIATELY feel the relief of my desire being mine. sorry for the long message, this is just really nuts and such an intense feeling.

YAYY i love this!! Thank you for sharinggg

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junior-april · 1 year

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Bf!bakugo headcanons.2

More headcanons/masterlist

- we already know he’s aggressively affectionate as a fact but just to get more in depth abt it😭

- 100% physically grabs u to force u to do anything like hes defo the type to force u to take care of urself LMAO

- its even worse when ur sick and actually need someone to take care of u bc hes so aggressive overboard with the care😭 yes its bc he cares but its a lot💀

- he’ll be a little shit bringing u jugs of water saying u look like a dehydrated rat or feed u a meal bc u said u lost ur appetite from being sick which would in normal standards be cutesy and romantic but he feeds u so aggressively in fat bites u cant fit💀 u yell at him with ur mouth full and he’ll just shove ur jaw up and down and say “CHEW”

- When u need to go to bed but ur stuck scrolling on social media hes defo the type to wrestle u to take ur phone away then secure u in the blanket so ur arms cant move😭

- if he gets extra pissed cus u wont listen to him that u need to be up early the next morning he’ll just shake ur head aggressively telling u to sleep or he’ll force u by suffocating u with a pillow

- bf!bakugo is tiring but his craziness is out of love (hopefully) so its just a bit of fun😭

- hes unfortunately a productive person who sleeps at 8am and wakes up at the ass crack of dawn and his alarms in the morning piss u off and he tells u that u should just sleep earlier then u would wake up at the same time as him

- i feel like ur sleep schedules differ a lot bc his is the same as a fucking grandpas💀 so u always wake up to him already out for work or if hes not working he’ll be wide awake just on his phone but still in bed bc he likes how u smother him in ur sleep w ur hugs😭

- if u both need to be up and u refuse to bc u want more sleep he defo flipping picks u up out of bed and carries u to the kitchen shoving u into a seat and while saying to go eat and start getting ready😭

- whenever hes waiting for u to get to bed (bc ur sleep schedules fucked but he still wants to sleep next to u lol) he’ll start hanging onto u like a flipping koala like if ur watching tv he’ll start dozing off while laying on u while continuously asking u ‘how many more episodes’

- eventually when hes had enough he just steals the remote and turns off the tv then tugs u out of the room into ur bed ignoring ur naggings of how u were enjoying the show😭

- u try to pick up ur phone to continue watching and he just launches it somewhere in the room and says ‘fuck you we’re sleeping idc’

My requests r open for anything u can ask me any specific headcanons for bakugo or any character aswell!! Tysm for reading 🫶🫶

#my hero academia #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou headcanons #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou x you #headcanons #bf!bakugo #boyfriend!bakugo

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kindlespark · 5 months

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sam i didnt even watch fhjy but can you tell me more of ur thoughts abt kipperlilly? any thoughts even stream of consciousness, she seems so teenager rage gone wrong im so fascinated by her

HJBFESJBFEKSFS THIS IS SO FUNNY OFC ok this is going to be a range of thoughts about the reactions i've seen from both ends of the rat grinder Discourse™

i think it's fine to be like, yeah, what kipperlilly's anger stems from is like deeply unsympathetic and comes from a very privileged status. i think being like "no that's normal for a teen girl" is silly. she is very much not normal she's a little upper-middle class brat and i love her. i love that she's so deeply distasteful and unappealing to people LOL. hate when female characters have to be smoothed down to be liked! like we don't have to downplay her negative traits when people are obsessed with male serial killers all the time etc etc

BUT i also think people forget that like... the bad kids were reading private thoughts she shared with her therapist (which is a massive invasion of privacy)! like of course it was fucked up. that's why she was going to a therapist lmao!!! it stresses me out that people are this vitriolic about a teen character who is pretty explicitly mentally ill and trying to get better about it but is being manipulated by a deity of rage and possibly her adult vice principal like. you don't have to LIKE her but calling for her to be violently murdered is wild to me. the bad kids had never even HEARD of her before this season and you can metagame about brennan not having invented her character yet all you want but in canon u gotta assume she was successfully keeping that rage down until she got got and is now being actively corrupted by a powerful rage deity lmaoooo

and like! she got her narrative punishment!! the monkey's paw curled and she lost her best friend she's got her traumatic backstory now!!! she's already suffering and at her lowest i don't need her to die (again!)

i think brennan is past the point of making teen characters irredeemable so i can only hope that the cast follows through on that bc i feel like redemption and healing from trauma is one of the strongest themes in fantasy high like i bawled my eyes out in every aelwyn and adaine scene. which is why it's really funny to me that siobhan is kipperlilly's biggest hater because i feel like she's a great mirror to adaine's spite and aelwyn's redemption..... like siobhan's characters are all very appealing to me because of their rage. god im hoping and praying they don't kill the rat grinders in the finale god bless

oh final petty thing i think saying kipperlilly's name wrong was only funny the first 200 times <3 love u all mwa

#the rat grinders #kipperlilly copperkettle #d20 #fantasy high

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mysadblacksoul · 5 months

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Backslide - 3/13 of the Clancy album

Grab a coffee and let's start this madness

Tyler is wearing the same clothes that he wore in Overcompensate MV to I would assume that this MV takes place right after

Let's break down the signs first

We see the return of Ned Bayou as well as FPA, now standing for Food Petrol Etc.

You can buy 9 buns for $21, love the symbolism

There is a Jim sign omg. Baby is having his own bubblegum business

Of course the Bishops sign with 9 lines marked on it

I could've sworn that the black sign says "Dema Vapes", but looking closely I believe it's "Velma Vapes" lol

What is more, the cones (?) are yellow and I'm pretty sure that the fact that there are 5 of them is not an accident

They sold him bread that went bad lol. Nah for sure it's not the case since he gives the same bread to a child

But I believe that the scene and the lyrics are closely tied with Stressed Out

Now the next scene is interesting

I think that the bad weather is a simple metaphor for feelings of anxiety or fear

We can see that Tyler was contemplating then he was suddenly pulled from his thoughts

This is when the scene changes to normal, right? Exactly on the line It's over my head

Then we move to the scene with the kid

And I really believe that this little lad is personification of Ned

Like he has the same boba eyes lol

No but for real, this is parallel to Chlorine - kid is giving Tyler a cup just like Tyler gave to Ned. Yet he accepts it and drinks whatever is inside and Ned just shudders

Another interesting thing, that could make my point more valid is that the kid literally asks Is that a stain? You should change / Are you doin' good? / Did you solve all of your problems? like he knows Tyler very well and is in a way looking out for him

It's like he's keeping Ned by him - okat I'll stop

It might be a stretch, but the N kinda looks like a mirrored band symbol, do you also see it?

If 0.75c is equivalent to the cost of one bun than Tyler is being ripped off since he paid $21 for the pack instead of $6.75 lmao

Something is really wrong with those buns lmao

Then the mood changes again, but this time is even worse. Like his mental health is declining even more and even faster

The bread is wet, the day is ruined, thanks Mr. Joseph

You killed it Josh, love your creative mind

*funny music stops*

Now let's talk about the way how the MV is looping itself

I would say that it is a demonstration of the twisted circle that is life

Maybe it's a very basic analysis but I think of all the complicated lore-oriented MVs this one is uncomplicated

What is shown here is how our psyche can play tricks on us and how we can complicate a rather simple situation ourselves

If Tyler hadn't had dark thoughts then nothing would have happened to the bread, so he would have just gone and given it to Josh

This shows how our psyche itself can abolish the situation in which we find ourselves

Looping, on the other hand, shows that as long as we don't do anything about it ourselves, we will be stuck in this fishbowl (see what I did there?)

Maybe it's one big AD to check your mental health and a sign to try to get better

Lyrics!

Rat race, place to place, adding weight / Tendencies on repeat, innit? - rat race for sure happened in Dema, and repeat is literaly the loop, innit meand that Clancy is canonicaly British

Benefit from a shoe with no lace - shoe with no lace would make you fall back on the behaviour that you are running from

Take the seat with the crease in it - seat of someone who already tried to change their life, or even who had the same dreams and hopes for better future like Clancy

This could be parallel to When I leave, don’t save my seat/ I’ll be back when it’s all complete from Chlorine

I don't care, you control me / Leading me anywhere - well, all I should say is Dema don't control me and we all know the rest of the story

I don't wanna backslide to where I've started from - he doesn't wanna go back to his back habits as well as doesn't wanna go back to his life before he tried to escape

There's no chance I will shake this again - if he falls back one more time that will be the end of him. His psyche won't take it anymore and his plans will be buried

'Cause I feel the pull, water's over my head - this is parallel to Fall Away And I, I can feel the pull begin. But it also gives me the parallel to Holding On To You MV, the scene with the rope

Strength enough for one more time - like I said, this would be the last attempt to change everything

Reach my hand above the tide - it could indicate that his physical strength is also wearing out

I'll take anything you have / If you could throw me a line - again with the line. But it also can mean that he can endure anything now, he just needs a little helping hand

I should've loved you better - this line can be directed both to himself but also to the person who extends his hand to help. He might not have appreciated both parts before and now regrets it

Do you think that now's the time / You should let go? - This line is like both a request and an apology. As if he wants to say “I'm sorry I treated you badly before but please don't leave me when I need help”

Bad place, on a hundred-dollar bass - this line is also giving me Stressed Out. You can imagine the cheap bass being transported on the bicycle right?

Kinda wishin' that I never did "Saturday" - I think that he doesn't mean the MV irl lol, but the regret of taking part in Bishops' manipulation altogether

Is that a stain? You should change - a play with mentioning Saturday and the lirycs She said that I should change my clothes

Are you doin' good? / Did you solve all of your problems? - like I said before I believe that this is Ned looking out for Clancy, wishing him well

Thanks for asking, in a way, but / Accidentally uncovered a new one yesterday - safe to say that he is not doing better lol

What happened to what I brushed under the rug? - what happened to how well he used to be able to hide his problems and true feelings

I used to be the champion of a world you can't see / Now I'm drowning in logistics - if viewed as a fact that he created this world it now looks like he wants to regain all control over it. Logistics is to take care of the management of planning. And once again we see the mention of drowning

The bridge is acting as an externalization of his myhs and fears that even if he is outside the Dema, the Bishops will still have control over him

The entire song is about both regaining conrol over the world of Dema but also regaining control over himself, his psyche.

The main theme is about not going back to old habits.

The most important thing here is progress and pushing forward.

Because one wrong move can make all the work in vain and we will sink to the very bottom.

Safe to say that I liked it haha

#band #emo bands #emo #emo quartet #twenty øne piløts #twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #skeleton clique #tøp clique #twenty one pilots theories #twenty one pilots clancy #clique as frick #clancy #clikkies #backslide

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stardust-sunset · 14 days

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Hi I don’t know if you’ve answered this before but I just saw the headcanons you made about Soda being sick and I was wondering if you had any headcanons about how everyone likes to be taken care of when they’re sick? And could I be your 🎃 anon if it’s not taken? Thank you!!

Ooh ofc!! I’ll do my best!

Ponyboy

With Ponyboy, he’ll never admit it but he just wants to be held. He probably won’t seek it out but the gang knows to just hold him for a bit. He doesn’t have the weakest immune system? But he does have a VERY weak stomach and gets stress induced stomachaches very easily and it’s always obvious but he tries to hide it because he feels like a burden to his brothers already, even post book he feels like a burden so he just tries to hide it but he has a VERY vocal tummy that has no problem ratting him out. He also likes being red to. It’ll put him to sleep in five seconds flat.

Soda

Soda likes constant cuddles, but unlike Pony he’s VERY vocal about it. I feel like he’s whiny too when he’s sick lol-like you try to get up for even a second and he’s whining for you to come back because he wants more cuddles. Soda has a very strong immune system (probably because he ate rocks and dirt as a kid but shhhhhh) but he too feels like a burden. But it’s very obvious when he’s sick. Sometimes Darry will take off work but it’s kind of rare. If he and Pony have work and school Pony will tell Steve and Steve will up and skip school for him. He just loves being held.

Darry

Darry is difficult. I think he’d want to be left alone because god forbid he gets the rest of the gang sick. He also really just doesn’t want to be touched because he feels gross and sweaty. He does however really enjoy sick foods like soup and crackers. It just makes him happy. He’s VERY stubborn’ tho and Pony/Soda need to literally threaten not to talk to him if he pulls that shit. He has a fairly strong immune system. But when he’s sick it’s really intense. He gets headaches a lot and that paired with chronic back pain it just isn’t pretty.

Johnny

Johnny…it’s hard with him. He’s not really used to being taken care of? So he honestly probably just hangs out in the lot because he doesn’t want anyone else to get sick. However usually Dally or Darry will see him and they’ll drag him to wherever they’re staying. I feel like he just wants to get better as soon as possible to get out of everyone’s hair, but in all honesty it feels good to be taken care of. I feel like when he gets sick it’s like…these really awful things. He doesn’t get to eat often so he probably eats from dumpsters and whatnot (or at least he used to) but he’s gotten worms and shit. It’s intense. But he has the strongest immune system I think. He’s learned.

Dallas

Dallas doesn’t get sick. But when he does he’s a complete ass about it and makes it everyone’s problem. He’s constantly trying to leave and refuses a lot of the medicines and stuff because “he doesn’t need that pussy shit” but he does. And they probably have to wrap it up in a slice of ham like he’s a damn dog. He hates being sick though, like he’ll literally straight up walk out and Darry has to carry his ass back clawing and screaming. He’s silly. shut he has a very strong immune system. Either that or he tries to drink it off but he can’t hold it down and he gets mad.

Two Bit

Two gets really delusional. It’s like he’s high. He’s like his normal self just a lot slower Like he starts having hallucinations and stuff. It’s mildly concerning because one second he’s just staring off into space and the next he’s yelling about the Ketchup Man or something. He doesn’t mind being taken care of though. He probably tries to live off beer and cake but he throws it all up. He doesn’t really have curtesy though and will like…cough on people lmao

Steve

Steve is hard 😭 I think he’s kind of like Dally how he hates being taken care of but the only one who can get through to him is Soda and Soda will drive his ass home from the gas station to just lay down and relax. Steve gets genuinely mad that he’s sick lmao-like he’s so mean to Pony too like Pony will be coming home from school and he’ll just look at Steve and Steve’s like “what’re you lookin’ at” with a puffy nose and watery eyes. He gets lowkey mean but never to Soda (or Darry because Darry will kill him) but he’s SO mean to Pony (well Pony’s probably mean back lmao) but in the end he just wants to be sleeping. He sleeps a LOT. Like seventeen hours a day lmao

I hope these are good!! Had to kinda rush things a bit towards the end, sorry 😭

#🎃 anon #alaska’s asks #the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #johnny cade #dallas winston #two bit mathews #steve randle #queue

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cosmicalily · 8 months

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my japanese kpop-stan mother gives kpop idols roles in her life (if she knew them) - SKZ, BTS, TXT and ENHYPEN

tagging @thevampywolf since she loves my mother and her iconic content (and my mum loves her too, they're like the same person at times welp)

my mum and dad are currently beefing about seungmin and jeongin bc both of them like to annoy each other so vote here on opinions and to hear the full story since it's fun

SKZ

chris - "my client." (for context, she's a psychologist, and she likes to assess kpop idols for fun)

minho - "he would have been my boyfriend, but i wouldn't marry him, because we're too similar, and we'd have too many cats and be a bit crazy."

changbin - "my workout buddy." (they're both gym rats)

hyunjin - "a popular boy in high school that i did a group assignment with."

jisung - "my best friend." (she thinks he's funny)

felix - "i probably would've had a crush on him when i was junior high school."

seungmin - "a guy i hated in high school." (mum's very minho coded, and so she'd probably beef with him the way minho does, so sorta affectionately)

jeongin - "my son in law." (she wants me to marry him, like she straight up told me she won't let me marry any other boy.)

TXT

yeonjun - "the nephew of a twin i didn't know i had." (she's getting a little too creative with these and this one made me snort)

soobin - "son in law."

beomgyu - "my best friend." (i'm actually scared of the chaos that would ensue)

taehyun - "school captain that i hated." (she actually loves taehyun and seungmin, but she thinks she wouldn't get on with them when she was young since she was very sassy and probably would clash personalities or get annoyed lmao)

huening kai - "my son." (he's her child in her opinion, and he reminds her of my little brother so she sees him as a son)

ENHYPEN

heeseung - "he would've been my boyfriend in high school." (duolingo has another person to battle here, although she says she wouldn't marry him or minho, because she's already married to my dad, which is cute lmao)

jay - "classmate in uni."

jake - "my neighbour's son who i didn't hang out with much." (i swear she's thought about these answers before sjgdhs)

sunghoon - "classmate."

sunoo - "my little brother." (this was cute, she has a very soft spot for him and i can see her protecting him and also fighting with him since they're both sassy)

jungwon - "a kid i made cry in primary school." (i'm literally WHEEZING)

niki - "my son." (he's a japanese boy, so of course he's close to her heart.)

BTS

jin - "the rich neighbour's son i hated." (the way she's beefing with so many idols i'm CRYING)

yoongi - "my friend in high school." (they'd get along well, i can see that)

namjoon - "a weird guy in my university class who liked making friends and tried to talk to me too much." (THE DETAIL HELP)

hoseok - "my best friend." (she once dreamt about him working in a theme park as one of those dress up characters lmao. him, gyu and hannie and her would be a chaotic and unstoppable team)

jimin - "my gay friend." (i asked her why she thought this, and she said he reminds her of me, and since i'm bi, she just decided that was the defining factor)

taehyung - "my brother." (she loves him, his music and his dog, he's her bias and i think he belongs in the 'has a soft spot for' category with jeongin, sunoo, huening kai, soobin and niki)

jungkook - "a kid who had a crush on me in junior high school." (i asked her if she liked him back, and she said even if she did, she would avoid him, since he'd be annoying. i think her reference for this was the seven music video and since then her view's been tainted)

my mother is such an icon for this welp, she was just like "you know let me give skz roles in my life," and then it turned into this

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 3 months

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s2 episode 14 thoughts

i just finished the episode and stared at the screen for a bit and then burst into laughter because. what the hell did i just watch?

all i could think of while viewing this episode was that video of brittany broski in epcot sipping on a drink, shaking her head in confusion, and saying "heyyy! what are we doing?"

lmao. okay. so let's start from the top. man hold on i'm giggling again due to how baffled i am. okay i need to Get It Together.

(i assume that those who read this blog are already familiar with this episode so i'm not gonna list TWs and i normally don't feel the need to but we get some... interesting flavors here, like child abuse and antisemitism mention. and to be clear, i am not laughing at those- i am laughing about how utterly confused i am, and how i have no answers to anything, and only more questions than before this episode began)

so the episode title is in german and i had no idea what it meant but it was quickly explained. we'll get to that.

we start at a PTA meeting- a parent-teacher association, arguably the scariest of all settings we have yet encountered. and they're arguing about the school musical. someone wants to do jesus christ superstar (banger show) but they think that is inappropriate so i'm like oh, they're just super christian, and hippie jesus must offend them. and they also shoot down the idea of grease for language so this only reinforces my belief.

they start praying, which was in line with my earlier assumptions, but they're praying to satan. which raises the question: why does satan care if the musical grease says "fuck"?

(but this made the idea of JCS being inappropriate very very funny)

they're chanting the german that the episode is titled, which means "his is the hand that wounds" which tracks i suppose

now we're in the woods of new hampshire, with some teenagers, one of which says this girl's mittens are "giving him a gingrich". so i looked that up thinking it was some sort of 90's slang i was not versed in, but the only result was a reddit post trying to figure out what they meant in that exact episode. which did make me feel justified.

so these teens are being creepy, reciting things at a witch's altar and it looks like the boys are gonna try and be weird with the girls. they're doing some reciting and RATS BE UPON YE.

they're making a break for it, when the lead guy's neck is snapped. and we don't see by who.

enter our agents! the policeman is saying that he KNOWS they listen to that devil music, to which mulder quips, "the night chicago died?", so i had to google THAT too, and its a song about al capone. so i'll look into that i suppose.

policeman is like noooo, it's that evil METAL music

they're examining the altar, and scully asks who he was with, and the policeman says uhh we thought he was by himself? she says well, there's two six packs here, which generally suggests company, and also here's a scrap from a book. why didn't your guys notice this? and i thought this was going to be a plot point, how the cops were overlooking basic details, but they just sucked for no reason lmao

i also made a note that her hair looked really good here. a little wavy. the way i wished my hair looked.

mulder's going on about this place having a weird feeling, which i wish he would elaborate upon, but she's saying nooo, it's nothing, until...

toads fall out of the sky and onto their umbrellas.

YES BABY!!! CAMP TV!!!! TOAD SHOWERS!!!

(also gonna NEED their reactions in gif form at some point because i'm howling)

((and also how did they film that? go to the toad store to pick up some background actors?))

they go to the library to try and trace down who had the book they found the scrap from, and scully's theory is that the toads must have been brought by the tornadoes that were recently in the area. this is a scully approved theory.

they go into the school to try and talk to the surviving boy, who is sitting in science class with a sub, and when they announce they are looking for him the kid tries to jump out the window. but mulder is a track star and grabs his legs before he can fully yeet himself out. and i'm thinking to myself, if the FBI came and grabbed some kid in my science class, i think i would pass out.

our agents pull this kid and the two girls who were there aside for questioning, and the boy says he was just trying to "get some". at the witch's altar. a sick and twisted juvenile.

CUT SCENE to the PTA who say amongst themselves that one of them must have killed the boy, whose name is jerry, but they all deny it. he was killed with his heart and eyes ripped out, which is in line with their practices. so yeah that's suspicious but after that episode of trophy hunting killers, it could be anyone.

but when our agents enter the scene, the PTA say that it must have been the media that brainwashed the kids into satanic killers. and scully is like. if that were the case there would be tens of thousands of murders. and they say "okay so you get the stakes here" which had me howling. "tHe mEdiA iS bRaInWaShInG tHe cHiLdrEn" <- wow this is something i cannot say i have heard in the year of our lord 2024 (/s)

when they walk out of the school, mulder stops to get a drink at a water fountain. which is already funny because that's a grown ass man. when he notices that the water is going down the wrong way for the hemisphere they are in. and i'm laughing because why the HELL does he know which way the water is supposed to go down the drain. like i have never thought of that in my entire life and i guess now i will.

(btw this is never explained. we don't know why the water goes the other way here. witchcraft, i guess)

at this point, i'm thinking, this substitute teacher has to be the killer, and she opens up the drawer of her desk to put away the tests the students were taking, and we see a heart and eyeballs. gasp! i paused the screen here to make note of this revelation and the eyeballs on stalks looked sososo funny. and she just COVERS THEM UP with some papers which i can imagine must have been hard to grade after being soaked in blood.

they take a trip to the school therapist and mulder says boy, there are an awful lot of cases of mental health troubles here. and the doctor says, yes, this is high school. which honestly? i remember high school and yeah. that does track. it was a strange time. but mulder is not pleased with this explanation and expects that it's something deeper

scully went online and found what sounds like a report on the case- a boy killed with his eyes and heart removed- and mulder is like omg where did you get this?

well. i did not see this coming.

she then keeps reading and it is deeply antisemitic. actually allow me to do a verbatim report from the notes here:

"she went online and i was like haha she used this newfangled internet :) AND THEN SHE READS AN ARTICLE CALLING A SIMILAR CASE ACTUAL BLOOD LIBEL?? MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR IN RECORD TIME oh she found it in a Nazi newspaper from 1934... oh my gosh y'all i thought this was going in a VERY different direction"

so i thought that maybe this was framing the murder as an act of religious persecution? but it wasn't. they just threw that in there for... reasons?

mulder explaining wiccan lore... yeah that's a man who has studied religions

at this point, we are back in the science classroom, and the substitute teacher is handing out baby pigs. OUGH. i am so glad i never had to do that in school.

this poor girl is about to cut into the pig and she looks like she is going to be sick, which is in all honesty exactly what i would have been doing, but then she starts screaming and seeing things like the pig moving??? and squeaking???

she runs to the office, where the agents are serving looks in a corner, and she's told her dad is gonna come get her, but she runs away and mulder chases her and says "you're remembering!" because he is once again convinced of the reality of repressed memories due to his own personal experience

they're staring at this teenager as she sits crying on a picnic bench spilling her life story and again, the whole dealing with kids thing, who thought this was gonna be part of the fbi? not me!

this girl is crying, saying that her stepdad used to hurt her, and that they would chant and tie her and her sister up.... and well. this next part will also be best delivered from my notes verbatim:

"THEY WOULD GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN THEY WOULD KILL THE BABIES???? HUH??? I'VE HAD THREE CHILDREN AND THEY'RE ALL BURIED IN THE CELLAR??? STEPDAD KILLED HER SISTER??? WHAT THE FUCK"

and boy we do not even sort have time to unpack all of that. but it is safe to say that i was thoroughly gagged, and our agents seem only mildly surprised. in retrospect, i think they didn't believe her, which was further proved by a line like "imagine if what she is saying is true", but i, the viewer, believed her pig-induced memories

the girl is hysterical, and scully moves closer to hug her, and hold her while she sobs into her trench coat, and i'm sitting here wondering what is going on (very few answers are delivered btw)

(shoutout to scully to letting a strange teenager cry into her while confessing to all of That)

so the agents go over to the girl's parent's house, the stepdad of whom is in the PTA cult btw, and they ask about the things the daughter told them and i was shocked because. if they really WERE killing babies, telling them they knew about it could perhaps allow the parents to tamper with the evidence sitting in the basement. but the parents are shocked by the whole thing.

scully is asking why the daughter would say all this- and the mom is saying that her and stepdad have been having marriage problems- but i don't think that leads to THESE SORT OF CLAIMS?

at this point, i was deeply confused. i had no idea what to believe or where the narrative was leading me beyond the fact the substitute was evil. i wrote that i was "mentally putting up a board and there is string everywhere and i'm trying to figure out what is going on"

the girl had mentioned a sister who was killed by the stepdad at age 8- and scully says, well did you have any other kids? and the mom says yeah, one who died. and was she 8 when she died? not 8 years, but 8 weeks.

so what is going on here

scully is trying to be pretty careful and tiptoe around the situation, figure out what is real and what isn't, whereas mulder gets alone with stepdad and just asks him "did you do it?" which had me HOWLING. absolutely zero subtlety in this man.

he opens the door to the cellar and it SLAMS shut and stepdad man gets VERY angry and tells them to leave. can you do that? kick the fbi out while they're investigating you? i didn't realize that was an option

okay, so the girl is trying to make up her final, and is back with the substitute making up her pig autopsy because it's a final and of course you don't want to miss a final! the teacher takes her jewelry so it doesn't get dirty which makes sense to me, but then we see her in her office burning it over a candle??? and she's MOANING??? and it seems she's controlling the girl into CUTTING HER ARM??? she's bleeding out on the floor. and i'm still wondering what the hell is going on. but this poor girl is dead.

the agents are at the crime scene and the substitute is being weird af but i guess that's to be expected of someone who just did psychic murder

the PTA committee says the energy is very bad and they need to do a sacrifice to clear the air... so they say they're gonna frame the girl who just died as killing jerry, the og murdered boy, and say that she was jealous he liked another girl. and the stepdad seems pleased with this plot, which only made me further believe that he did the evil things he denied.

so at this point i was thinking, has anyone thought to check the cellar and see if there are in fact babies down there. no? just me? okay

mulder smells incense in the substitute's office, which she says is to cover the smell of pig, but he knows is also used in black mass, and frankly i'm shocked that it didn't set off the fire alarms, because i went to public school and i know how finicky those things are. but the situation is looking sus as hell because the actual teacher she's subbing for has only EVER missed these two days of school and also apparently he's out with... flesh-eating bacteria? that seems a bit odd, don't you think? AND no one can recall hiring this substitute.

there was a very loud and spooky clap of lightning here that felt reminiscent of the halloween specials of shows i used to watch as a kid. and i was wondering if this was perhaps meant as a halloween special of sorts. can anyone confirm.

mulder must have picked up on me telling him to go check the cellar for babies, so he gets a warrant and goes down there, but STEPDAD IS WAITING FOR HIM IN THE DARK! he's monologuing about his religion, and being raised to think that humans are no better than animals...

but then those in the PTA decided they would frame his dead daughter for jerry's murder, he realizes he IS better than an animal! better late than never for such a basic realization to hit, i suppose?

he also says that his beliefs were responsible for her being killed. so i hoped he would elaborate and surprise. he did not.

he admits to including them in ceremonies because the blood of the young is very powerful (???) but he says he never hurt them the way she claimed. and there were definitely no babies. she must have gotten that from the tabloids, and it mixed in with the repressed memories. which doesn't sound like how repressed memories work so i do not trust this guy still.

meanwhile the substitute is doing some witchery, while scully is still in the school! this cannot bode well for her!!!!

mulder is shocked by stepdad's stupidity, and says "did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?" which is objectively a banger line, even if used quite literally

the witch/substitute is moaning again and she's dialing numbers and mulder's phone rings, and scully's voice says there's something going on in the school, so he handcuffs stepdad to the cellar to get tf out of there, and locks the door behind him, but the cellar door OPENS????

A SNAKE IS COMING NOW???? he is BIG and is he gonna EAT stepdad...?

YES HE IS??? BOA AROUND THE NECK AND TORSO??? HUH?? what is going ON.

mulder arrives at the school just as the snake begins to feast, and he has his gun drawn and does his famous "scully?" yell, when he bursts in on her... just chilling in the dark and doing her work LMAO. he's all "why did you call?" and she says "i didn't?"

meanwhile the snake is doing some serious eating and the SUB HAS SNAKE EYES NOW?? HELLO?

they rush back to stepdad's place, where they find the door unlocked, and nothing but human bones on the ground and what looks like a snake track, which scully points out is impossible because it would take HOURS for a snake to eat a human and then weeks to digest...

and he makes some comment about her watching TLC and i'm thinking, well, i feel like knowing how long a snake would take to eat a human is more relevant than knowing which way the water goes down in a sink, so don't try and nerd shame her here.

but they find a snakeskin so they know it's a snake, and they remember there was a snake in the classroom, so it's time to get back there because clearly he has been consumed and there is not much that can be done to undo being eaten

the PTA folks are having a conference, talking about the death of stepdad, and how they need to make a sacrifice, and they say that if mulder knows what the sacrifice is for, it'll make it more meaningful, so ARE THEY GONNA SACRIFICE HIM??????

when mulder and scully return to the classroom, the substitute is moaning on the floor, saying she thinks the PTA folks killed the boy, and i'm like uh-huh, for sure, snake woman

scully opens her drawer and finds the eyeballs which are pretty incriminating... but as they go out to return to the substitute...

the PTA ATTACKS! a bookshelf is thrown on scully, and mulder is beaten by two men. and they are tied up and taken to the gym showers???? here i wrote "what the hell, there are two minutes left in this episode" and i was hoping it would somehow resolve itself so we didn't end up with another two parter and i could go to sleep after this in peace

(which. it did wrap up in those two minutes but i'm confused so there is little of the aforementioned peace i hoped for going on)

so the PTA crew has a dagger and a gun for sacrificial purposes, and they're about to be sacrificed in a high school gym shower, when the substitute uses her witch powers to make the PTA members turn the gun upon THEMSELVES, and frees our agents from their trouble. sort of. because they are still tied up and wet in the shower.

(does anyone know what the hell is happening.)

they stop writhing about and make it back to the classroom, where the substitute has written a note saying it's been nice working with you and then she's gone.

hey!! what ARE we doing here?

so i don't even know where to begin. i feel a lot of questions were raised and not one of them answered. what was up with that girl saying she was forced to give birth? were the parents denying it because it didn't happen or were they covering up the truth? what was with the whole eight year old vs eight weeks old dead sister? did the substitute kill jerry AND the girl, AND the PTA, and then just... leave? was she the dark force they were worshiping taking revenge on their lack of faith? but if that were the case, why would she kill the PTA members who were about to make a sacrifice? why would she kill the two kids and three adults but spare the agents? where did she go? why did she briefly have the eyes of a snake? where did the snake go? how did he eat a whole person that fast?

man. i'm not sure i've ever been so baffled.

was this an attempt to comment on the satanic panic? like, was the show pointing out how silly it was, or validating the fears of people across america?

i'm so deeply confused. can someone tell me if i'm missing something. was there some overarching theme that went over my head. is this setting up a part two where there will be answers. or is that the whole thing.

?????

#gonna need y'all to sound off in the comments on this one because. i need to know how you received this episode when you saw it #sometimes u just gotta laugh. yeah the satan cult got busted by the snake witch. catch up #conclusion: ????#juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

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deedala · 6 months

Text

🌱w e e k l y tag w e d n e s d a y🌱

thanks for putting the game together @jrooc and thanks for tagging @energievie @suzy-queued @creepkinginc @lingy910y !! 💖

🔠 Name: deanna

🌀How do you pronounce your own Tumblr handle in your head? dee-dah-lah

🪟 When you look out the window right now what do you see? closest non-curtain covered windows go out into my backyard where i can see my big fence and a fuckton of fucking honeysuckles (we're at war with them every year)

💼 What is the most unusual profession someone in your family was in? uuhhhh...its me. im realizing. everyone has very normal jobs... i color comics.

🎨 What hobby were you really into as a kid? figure skating

🔍 First autofill google result when you type 'How can I...?'

how can i watch adventure time? - lmao.. i mean...i do love adventure time but like..i already know where to go to watch it but okay sure.

🎶 If you were the main character in a sitcom, what song would be playing during the opening credits? hmmm okay i feel like regina spektor's fidelity would be a good vibe

🎬 What's the last movie you watched? Did you enjoy it? What genre is it? moonshot/yes/scifi rom com

🎥 What is your favourite movie genre? you know what i think scifi rom com is probably my favorite cross-section of genres

What movie would you recommend? well... how about another scifi rom com i love to rec: Love and Monsters!

👯‍♂️ Do your IRL humans know about your fandom life? If you're a creator, do they know you create?

husband knows everything of course, but otherwise eeehhh not really. my mom and maybe whatever cousins i have following my art insta have seen my fanart but i doubt they understand the depth of what they are seeing lmao

🚣🏼‍♀️If you could do one activity with your pocket/fandom friends what would it be?

go play around in chicago and eat tasty food and be so normal about everything <3

and now to tag some nuggets, come play or simply accept this token of my affection 🥪 <3 @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @mickeysgaymom @lee-ow @sickness-health-all-that-shit @iansw0rld @juliakayyy @themarchg1rl @loftec @the-rat-wins @heymrspatel @heymacy @palepinkgoat @squirrel-fund @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @crossmydna @mmmichyyy @gardenerian @rereadanon @vintagelacerosette @sleepyfacetoughguy @thisdivorce @transmickey @metalheadmickey @callivich @whatwouldmickeydo @gallawitchxx @softmick and anyone else who wants to join in you can say i tagged you i'll corroborate <3

#weekly tag wednesday #tag game

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leonenjoyer69 · 5 months

Note

Do you have any hcs about whole/mind Jekyll :0 (I've fallen in love with him 😔)

OF COURSE! you basically just opened my ramble can >:3

First of all! Like I mentioned before, Whole Jekyll is the closest to Jekyll Pre-split (and may actually just be him pre-split), but kinda fucked up from being trapped in the mind scape. He yearns for his halves to combine again so he can live somewhat normally again.

So, Whole Jekyll, or Harry (as Mind Lanyon calls him, and I may start too, lmao), can manipulate the mindscape to a decent degree, though he can't get rid of the nightmares. He does help keep them locked away though when stray ones escape their confinement (of course this was before Hyde unleashed them, which made Harry VERY upset). He can also enter and somewhat interact with the memories, letting himself take Jekyll's place and feel the things around him in the memory (to a certain degree). The ones he visits most often are the relationship with Lanyon in university (any of them, but especially the more tender and physical, innocent touch-heavy ones), the break up, and the aftermath of the potions creation. He sweeps these memories quite consistently, trying to see where he went wrong and if there's anything he can use to fix this. Of course, he should know there's not by now, but he desperately clings to that hope. Plus, he doesn't have much else to do.

He tries to get the attention of Jekyll and Hyde, but can't seem to make himself heard by them, though he believes he's able to ever so slightly sway their thoughts or words every once in a while. When not perusing memories, trapping nightmares, or talking with Mind Lanyon, he's usually always watching what Jekyll and/or Hyde are doing. Generally, he's trying to sway them in any way possible that could bring them closer to being whole again, but he never succeeds. Sometimes, he feels so drained that all he can do is silently watch.

Also, since I'm a sucker for Scottish Jekyll (as we've seen), he speaks with a bit of an accent that he can't seem to drop, no matter how much he sits through the memories of Lanyon's english lessons. It's not super strong, but it's definitely there, and he'll slip in a few Scottish words every once in a while. It also tends to get a bit worse when he's revisiting older memories. The accent kinda annoys mind Lanyon sometimes, but he's learned there's truly nothing to do about it (he's certainly tried)

Onto Mind Lanyon, Harry tends to hang out in different areas than Lanyon, the main ones being the subconscious, where he watches Jekyll and Hyde (he can't seem to go any higher than the deeper parts of the subconscious, though he hasn't really tried too hard to) and deeper in the unconscious, where most of the nightmares lurk. Of course, Harry acts as a sort of nightmare exterminator to Mind Lanyon, who's literally terrified of them. (Also, I firmly believe that it was Harry that found all of Mind Lanyon's little gentleman ghosts to keep him company, since Mind Lanyon complained about how little he saw him).

Anyways, mind Lanyon is a good bit different from real Lanyon, but Harry finds him to be good company when he needs it. Mind Lanyon has this uncanny calming effect on him, despite his oddities and prissy, distant attitude. Mind Lanyon would never intentionally hurt Harry, he likes him too much (and he refuses to be stuck talking to no one but Mind Frankenstein). Back to the reason I mentioned the areas Harry hangs in tho! Mind Lanyon spends most of his time in the library and Hall of memories, half the time just looking for Harry, though he claims he's just keeping an eye out for nightmares that slipped through (they both know that's mostly a lie tho), and the other half just reading.

mind Lanyon will sometimes fuss over Harry's hair, complaining about it being an ungentlemanly rats nest. He has also tried fixing it a few times, but it never worked.

I'm thinking of a few story ideas with him (ik, dangerous since I've already got a story I'm working on). In one, at some point Harry is actually able to stumble across Hyde (or Hyde stumbles upon him). Don't know where in the timeline it'd be set, but meeting him would definitely confuse and freak Hyde out lmao. Otherwise, I have another little idea where Harry's able to force himself up into the conscious, where he's finally able to talk to the other two and hang out in the mirrors and such. Don't know if ill do anything with those ideas, but they're there!

Omg!!! Also!!! I forgot about the strings lmao. Any major conflict between Jekyll and Hyde, or super high stress moments, cause the corresponding (depending on which half is suffering) strings to tighten and tug a bit. This makes the bandages nice, considering how often that's gotten lately (and even before, with Jekyll's workaholic tendencies). He can still usually move his arms quite freely, but sometimes the pulling is bad enough that he can't. He's tried to follow where the strings are pulling him, but at a certain point the pulling stops all together, and he's left a no true destination. Otherwise, they're ethereal, so they usually stay short enough to keep out of his way.

Also, he kept a journal for a very good while (actually managed to start a second one), but eventually his writings became increasingly nonsensical and messy. Paranoid doodles and ramblings began covering pages, to the point where he simply stopped writing in it bc he didn't like seeing the pages. It's still around the mindscape though, somewhere...

OKAY, THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, honestly that was less of HC and more of me just info dumping BUT I SHAN'T APOLOGIZE. Anyways, thank you if you read all this, he's one of my new babies, I love his tortured little soul <3 THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :33

#tgs #jekyll and hyde #the glass scientists #henry jekyll #oc: “whole” jekyll #my ramblings #answered asks

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iratempestatis · 5 months

Text

Pretty.

Kaeya x gn!reader

Just a bunch of fluff, reader is bad at showing their emotions and Kaeya's just shooting his shot lmao. Apologies for being too specific at times, I wrote this with someone in mind <3

Throwing food at pedestrians was generally frowned upon, whether you were a normal citizen or the esteemed captain of the Knights of Favonius. You're fairly certain your captain is aware of this, and yet-

You whip your head around and glare at Kaeya as another sunsettia makes an elegant arc and bounces off your shoulder, onto the ground. What was wrong with this man? Why was he wasting food like this?

Your captain had very thin hair already, curving over his shoulder like a rat’s tail. He didn't need to give you incentive to rip it all off. You're sure it would fall off on it's own by the time he was forty. You’re certain he'd still look as lovely as he did now.

But enough of that! He wasted food!

“Captain!”

“So sorry.” He grins and bites into a sunsettia. The bright morning sky brings out the cool blue tones in his eyes. He's pretty. “Please don't scold me, now.”

You only curse and turned away. It was impossible to remain angry with Kaeya Alberich for too long.

✦—————————————✦

You used to think you were quite clever.

But honestly, only a fool would graduate from the Akademiya with honours and end up working as a cavalry knight in a city full of drunkards (imagine being in love with one, the horror! It could never be you), far away from home, devoid of any fresh spices save for some fucking snapdragon. And the cost of shipping actual spices? Veritable insanity! 450 Mora for just shipping the stuff you could buy for 120 back home?

And only an even bigger fool wouldn't check if the cavalry had any horses before signing up. Because it's stupid to expect the cavalry to own a horse or two, yes?

It never seemed to bother anyone but you. These madlads managed life without sumpter beasts and Tri-Lakshana Sigils.

Mondstadt City didn't even have any slopes, just stairs! What if someone used a wheelchair? What if someone was too goddamn lazy to climb up all those stairs??

You'd bitched about the infrastructure nonstop at first. Kaeya had only laughed. He had a pretty laugh. Everything he did was pretty. He was pretty.

You could feel your friends rolling their eyes at you.

You were often tempted to take their advice and confess your feelings to him. How embarrassing, to not leave a city purely because he occupied it? To smile because he smiled and grin because he looked content? You didn't even like skewers until he threw some at you. They tasted as zesty as he looked.

But confessing to your boss? Unprofessional. You weren't a coward, you were just married to your job! (A rather toxic relationship. You barely spent any time together.) Besides, imagine getting rejected. It could never be you. That would be almost as terrible as crying in front of everyone as an Akademiya professor tore your essay to shreds. In your first year. (Maybe Alhaitham was right and you really did need therapy.)

Speaking of your job, however-

“Captain, I'm going to Springvale. Old Finch-”

“Surely you don't mean to walk there.” His eyes widen in mock horror. “We don't even have any Tri-Lakshana Sigils!”

You roll your eyes. “Old Finch told me-”

“Finch? Who would name their only child Finch of all things? At least there are slopes in Springvale-”

You groan.

✦—————————————✦

Of course you didn't fucking walk to Springvale like a plebian. You begged Nantuck to row you there. Kaeya tagged along as well, but you didn't question why. You were one flirtatious answer from giving your crush away. Or one pretty, pretty smile. Or even just one Kaeya elegantly stepping out of the boat and holding out a hand to you.

“I'm good,” you mutter as you step off on your own. Kaeya chuckles.

“My, someone's in an especially terrible mood today. Did someone anger you? When are you telling me what you're here for on your day off, anyway?”

The audacity of this bitc-

“I tried,“ You scoff. “Someone kept interrupting me-”

“How uncouth of them.”

“You piece of-” you hurriedly bite back the insult. “I'm here because Old F- someone told me there's a group of whopperflowers on the cliffs behind the spring. I'll deal with them and meet up with you… where?”

“So eager to meet up with me, even on our days off,” he muses as you rolled your eyes. (Wasn't he the one who started harassing you? No matter. Any time spent with Kaeya was time well spent, in your opinion.) “Very well, then. I'll be at Brooke’s. It's a date.”

Your face flushes. What the fuck? “Don't wander off.” You sigh, hoping you don't look like you're on fire. I need to get out of here.

“That's all you'll say to me? Hey, at least say goodbye as you run off!”

✦—————————————✦

Goodbye, you think as you plummet off a cliff and to your death (you hope.) The whopperflowers had been endless and honestly you'd rather fight a Regisvine than a dozen of these overgrown mist flowers together on a goddamn cliff. You could see the light (probably the sun.) You could feel Alhaitham chuck your clown wig and clown nose at you (in spirit, of course, although him actually doing that wouldn't really surprise you.)

You could also feel your body jolt as the cold waters of the spring abruptly shock your system. You're not conscious enough to feel yourself sink, though.

✦—————————————✦

Were you to die, you wanted death to cradle you close, carry you off and gently lay you to rest on the sands or the grass, whichever you were in the mood for that day. And you didn't want it to be fucking bony and jostle you as it carried you, no matter how nice it smelled. You also didn't want it to be so goddamn damp, and the least it could do is magically stop your head from hurting, maybe hand you a towel and some warm soup-

“There you go,” you hear Kaeya softly murmur as he sets you down on some grass. You can hear Finch and Hopkins frantically calling for help. Warm hands securely wrap a blanket around you and start gently drying your hair.

I won't be able to go on that date, you think deliriously. The ensuing embarrassment is enough to make your eyes snap open.

You're on the grassy banks of the spring, wet and rather cold. Brooke is rubbing your arms through the blanket and- you crane your neck to see Kaeya gently drying your hair. He smiles when he sees you turn. He smiles very often. You wonder if this is one of those rare times when it's genuine.

“You never fail to surprise me,” he says fondly as he lets go of the towel and ruffles your hair. “Forever reaching for new heights of stupidity. What idiot runs off to kill a dozen cryo whopperflowers with a cryo vision?”

This bitch.

“I didn't know they were cryo,” you rasp. “Asshole.”

“Is this how you speak to your superiors?”

“You're not exactly supposed to ask your underlings on dates either.” Shit.

He grins at that (you should never have acknowledged the date, now he'd make you commit) and heaves an exaggerated sigh as he begins combing through your hair with his fingers. His nails gently scratch against your scalp. “Very well, dearest. No dates.”

Your dismay apparently shows on your face, because his grin only widens with delight. “Alright, one date, because you're pretty. And not today.”

Your face flushes. “It's not like I want one, anyway.” What do you mean, not today?

He shrugs. “Then you're welcome to walk away from rather delectable free meal. Brooke promised she'd give us only her best.”

As if you needed any additional motivation. “Fine, then. Only for the food.” When? The food sounded almost as good as Kaeya. “So. Er.” You cough. “When exactly are we…when are you taking me on that-?”

Kaeya laughs (asshole, you think affectionately) as you trail off with a flushed face. “Hey, since you're not so opposed to the idea,” he says “maybe you can stand me after all.”

Oh, Kaeya. Your face softens. “I've never disliked you, captain.” You have no need for insecurities. I know what you almost did to Collei. I know you have a complicated past.

I wish you'd tell me about it. Maybe one day you'd muster the courage to ask.

“Oh?” He tilts his head. A bead of water trickles off his hair, on his nose, then past his cheek. It catches on his jaw. You fight the urge to wipe it off. “So does this mean you like me, then?”

You blink rapidly, then turn away. “That's for you to find out.”

He smiles at you then, just a small smile. The sort of smile he gives stray cats when he thinks nobody is looking. The sort of smile he gives Klee when she shows him a drawing she made of them together. The sort of smile he gives Jean as he helps her home after a long day. Or the sort of smile he gives Lisa when she gently pats his shoulder and tells him to take care before she heads home.

“Like I said though, not today.” He boops your nose and stands up, holding out a hand to you. You take it this time. He doesn't let go even as you start to walk back towards Nantuck’s boat, and your heart joyously skips a few beats. You hope he can't feel your pulse through your intertwined fingers.

“You need to rest, and archons forbid you catch a cold. It's no fun without you around. I almost miss you, even. How about we reschedule that date for next Saturday, hm?”

#kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya x reader #gn reader #genshin x reader #kaeya alberich #Pretty.#iratempestatis

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