#but nope it is all i have been able to think about since yesterday

[iridescentis]

ive been trying to have coherent thoughts but i haven't even had a chance to process the dnpcrafts video because my brain has just been consumed by shourtney ive been giggling and kicking my feet for the past 24hrs im officially losing it

[purplecoffee13]

NFWMB - part 3

Summary: “Harry runs into Y/N in the last place he expected her to be on a random Wednesday evening…”

Wc: 3.1k

Tropes: boxer!harry x innocent!reader

Warnings: none, really

A/N: hi lovely people, hereby I give you part 3 of NFWMB! Be mindful that this is a longer series so the build-up will, therefore, also take longer. It’s a bit of a short part but I promise the next one will make up for it! I also want to thank my bestie for constantly brainstorming this plot with me you know who you are ILYYY🥰🥰🤭🙏❤️ ENJOYYY

General Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Harry had been restless ever since he said goodbye to Y/N and stepped into his car yesterday. It was like his whole body was screaming at him to turn around and kiss her. He had never felt such a need to do it before. Never experienced his body pulling him to hers like magnets, as if he couldn't breathe properly again until he kissed her.

It was scary, to say the least.

He'd had crushes before, or just people he'd found attractive and sometimes popped up in his fantasies, but this was different. It was almost laughable. How did he even know it was different, Harry ridiculed himself. He'd seen the girl— what? Two, three times now?

And then, like clockwork, that lovingly ache in his stomach would multiply in response, and Harry just knew. It was risky, he was aware of that as well, but he just wanted her close, one way or another. Even if he'd have to wait until the day she didn't want self-defense classes anymore to ask her on a date, he would, although it felt almost physically impossible to think of being that close to her and never being able to kiss her.

If he could just kiss her...

Harry frowned, staring blankly towards the heap of paperwork on his desk. He had been busy with this for the last two hours, and his daydreaming about Y/N was the only reason it was not yet finished. He tried to read again, but the letters on the paper just wouldn't form into words. Sighing, Harry looked up from his desk, looking out into the training room, which was on the empty side. It was lunchtime now, so it would fill up again in an hour or two.

The sight of Y/N walking through the room had Harry leaping from his chair. He blinked a couple times, making sure he wasn't dreaming or anything. Nope, he was not dreaming at all, Y/N was in the gym.

Not only that, she was also wearing tight sports leggings. It was paired with a wide oversized sweatshirt that covered most of her ass, but Harry let out a breath anyway as he shamelessly observed her long legs. This was not helping his case at all.

He stayed surprisingly still as he watched Y/N walk over to the treadmill, looking around the room before she steps on it. Harry tilted his head when he noticed her furiously pushing some buttons, and she began running faster and faster.

Where did she learn to run so fast? Why is she running so fast? She must be relieving some frustrations. He’d had days where his adrenaline overflowed as well.

He wanted to go up to her and talk to her, but he stopped himself before he could reach the door. He needed to finish this paperwork before he could do that. It would be great motivation to hurry the fuck up.

So, he did. He finished the paperwork in twenty minutes. It was embarrassing how little time it actually took now that he wasn't daydreaming about Y/N the entire time. It was even more embarrassing to realize that the only reason his daydreams were subsiding was because she was out there, a couple feet away.

Pathetic!

He kept shouting it at himself, yet he still couldn’t seem to care that he was acting like a lovesick teenager. With a smile, he got up from his desk and walked into the training room, going straight for the treadmills.

His face faltered, however, at the sight of empty treadmills. Harry walked over to the one he last saw Y/N on, and his brows raised at the digits he read.

She ran 7 kilometers in thirty minutes? That was incredibly fast. He would have a lot of difficulty with keeping up, he wasn't even sure if he could keep up if he tried. Why didn't she ever mention she was a running miracle?

The sound of a familiar laugh made Harry's ears perk up, and his stomach fluttered as he turned around to look for Y/N. Whatever was fluttering in his stomach died on the spot, however, when he finally caught sight of Y/N... with another man.

She was standing with Alan, one of the personal trainers he hired. Harry had always been careful with his application process, and although he knew Alan was a good guy, he the urge to drop kick him to the ground was too strong to ignore.

How could he possibly have made her laugh like that? How funny did he have to be to make that sound fall from her lips? Harry scoffed to himself, shaking his head as he approached the two.

"Hey!" He conjured a smile for Y/N, which was easy to do, especially since her face lightened up at the sight of him. It told him she felt comfortable in his presence. The assurance that ran through his veins felt like being cuddled up in a warm blanket on a snowy winters' day.

"Harry, hi!" She greeted him, seeming to forget about Alan existence entirely until he greeted Harry. She finally blinked, taking her back to reality.

"Hey man." Alan greeted him casually. Harry just nodded in a response, a small 'hey' falling from his lips before turning his attention Y/N again.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, eyes twinkling with enthusiasm which he hoped would translate into his words as well. Y/N looked away for a second, cheeks turning red as she fiddled with her hands.

"Just— blowing off some steam."

That was definitely a lie, Harry could tell. Not only because she was a terrible liar, but also because she had a habit of looking away and fiddling with stuff whenever she was scared to tell the truth— wait, her hand...

A small stabbing ache filled Harry's chest as he noticed the wrapped bandage around Y/N's palm. He turned to Alan.

"Don't you have a two o'clock?"

It was a bit harsher than Harry usually was towards his employees. He was a stern boss, but still the kind to have a nice chat with. This was a bit out of character for him, but he couldn’t care less about that now. He needed to know what happened, and Y/N would never be comfortable with telling the truth if Alan was still there.

It didn't take more than two seconds for Alan to realize what the true situation here was, raising his brows as he immediately took a step back— literally and figuratively.

"Right. See you around, Y/N." He winked at her as he walked off. Harry clenched his jaw—the pile of profanities in his mind reserved for Alan slowly growing—and eyed the girl next to him, who gave his employee a small wave as he finally disappeared.

"So," Harry looked down at Y/N's hand. "Tell me, what's really going on?"

Y/N shrugged. "Nothing. Busy day at work, so I came here to blow off some steam."

Bullshit. He didn't buy into that being the whole story. She was definitely not telling him everything, but then again, they didn't know each other very well so it was completely valid for her not to bombard him with all her secrets. He wished he could just tell her that she could trust him.

"You ran really fast." He decided to go a different route. When she didn't necessarily respond to that, he added, "like, impressively fast."

"I just had a lot of extra energy to sweat out." Another excuse rolled off her tongue, and Harry decided to stop trying to coax a real answer out of her. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but he couldn't resist asking one last question, though.

"What happened to your hand?"

Y/N frowned, looking down at her hand, as if only just now remembering that it was visible to other people as well. The pained look on her face stirred a feeling of worry in Harry. He hated that he couldn't read her thoughts and make sure she was really okay.

"Just my regular clumsiness." She said, sounding strained.

"Y/N, you know you can talk to me—"

"Hey! Are you going to Sophie's party?" She suddenly chimed in, cutting Harry off. He was so thrown off by the question that he couldn't think of anything clever enough to intercept her interruption.

"Uh, yes." He answered blankly.

"Oh thank God. I was hoping you'd say that, I was afraid I wasn't going to know anyone there." She smiled at him, and every other thought that Harry had had in the last hour suddenly flew out of the window. The corners of his mouth pulled up.

"Isn't Sophie inviting other colleagues as well?" He asked, still grinning from that smile she just gave him.

"Yes... but Sophie runs with the cool crowd."

Harry chuckled. "You make it sound like it's high school."

"That's because it is." She shrugged. "Sophie is with the popular kids, like a cheerleader."

"And what does that make you?" Harry tilted his head. Y/N tilted her head, thinking it over for a few seconds, before she answered:

"The audiovisual geek."

A snort escaped Harry's throat. He hadn't expected that answer at all, nor did he believe it to be true. An angel like Y/N being at the bottom of this food chain she was explaining? She was clearly undermining herself, once again.

"What? It's true!" She exclaimed, giggling softly as she watched Harry shake his head.

"Well, I'll be there, so at least you'll have one friendly face around."

"Good. But I'm warning you, I'm probably going to be clung to your side the entire night, so be prepared to get sick of me." She teased.

She teased. Was she flirting with him? By the way her lit up, doe eyes were looking at her, it kind of seemed like she was. She was especially bold today. Last week she had to chug half a water bottle after Harry touched her. He fought back the smirk that threatened to break out on his face as he answered, deciding to play into her cheekiness.

"That won't be a problem, love."

Y/N's smile faltered ever so slightly, her cheeks turning a rosy red much like they always did whenever Harry would say something like this. She swallowed, quickly eyeing at the ground before meeting Harry's gaze again, as if reminding herself to get herself together.

"Uhm, anyway, I just— I had a question... about the self defense classes."

Harry had to keep himself from laughing at how quickly she had gotten flustered, and quirked up a brow to indicate she go on.

"I want to build some muscle. You know, gain some extra strength, like you said last week." She clarified. Harry hummed, crossing his arms. "Well, Alan was telling me that he's a personal trainer, and he has these plans for beginners. Do you think it would be a good idea if I did that?"

Abso-fucking-lutely NOT.

"No." He said, his selfishness getting ahead of him.

"Oh."

The sound was small, but Harry could hear the severe disappointment. Oh god, was an absolute monster. The poor angel was telling him about wanting to put in extra effort and here he was, rejecting her idea with harshness that wasn't even reserved for her. It was reserved for Alan, and his nose, which he was going to break soon.

"I think it'd be better if I make you a custom plan, one that'll match with the self defense classes." He elaborated. To be honest, that wasn't exactly the reason why he'd said no in the first place, but he simply did not want her to be around Alan if she could be around him.

"Oh, okay." Y/N responded, her eyes lit up at the sound of his promise. "If it's not too much trouble."

Harry scoffed. "Not at all, angel."

There it went, the nickname rolled off his tongue again. He couldn't help it, it was just so easy. Despite Harry's display of coolness, he eyed Y/N to see what her reaction was to the nickname. The last time, she'd ran away, literally. She basically sprinted to her apartment. Now, her bottom lip was stuck between her teeth as she fought a smile.

He could've sworn he was going into cardiac arrest. This was the best possible reaction to him calling her angel. It was also the worst, because now all Harry could focus on were those damn plump lips.

"I should probably get a gym membership then, huh?" She tried to fill the silence that fell when Harry stopped trying to keep the conversation going and decided to just admire her face instead.

"We can take care of that next week." He said, his eyes trailing down to her lips and back up. Y/N looked like a deer in headlights, her mouth opening ever so slightly to say something, but a loud voice interrupted the both of them.

"Y/N?!"

Both their heads whipped around to see Sophie standing in the door opening. Other people were looking at the crazy woman in the doorway as well, but Sophie didn't care as she marched towards Y/N and Harry.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, just blowing off some steam." She smiled, using the same excuse she'd told Harry. "Wanted to go for a run outside but it's pouring rain, so I thought this would be a better option."

Sophie nodded, not entirely convinced as her eyes darted between Y/N and Harry. The sole look on her face told Harry that he wasn't going to be let off the hook so easily as soon as Sophie got him alone, which would be soon, because Y/N was quick to say

"I'm gonna go... I've got some paperwork to finish at home." She stammered, taking a few steps towards the door.

"Of course, good luck sweetie. See you tomorrow?" Sophie's voice was soft like honey as she addressed her angel of a friend. Y/N nodded and gave her a hug before peeping a small 'bye' to Harry and rushing out the door.

Harry couldn't stop staring at her, not as she walked out the door, nor as she walked to her car. He felt like he'd waste her beauty if he didn't just look at her all the time. Like, if he didn't appreciate it enough now, if he didn't memorize all the details on her face, he would regret if she suddenly left his life.

"You are going to tell me what the fuck is going on right now." Sophie's voice cut through the thoughts that clouded his common sense. When he turned his head to her, her face was stern. A born lawyer.

"Nothing." Harry frowned at her, a bit frustrated with the fact that he was speaking the truth himself. He wished he had more to lie about other than his boyish crush on Y/N. Unfortunately, 'more' seemed to be quite out of reach.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Harry. Just tell me." Sophie put her hands on her hips, waiting for her to spill her guts. Instead, Harry shrugged. He had nothing to confess, because he and Y/N were just friends. Not even, they weren't even friends. Just trainer and trainee. For some reason, that realization stung a whole lot.

"I told you, nothing is going on." He growled. Sophie raised her brows; she'd clearly hit a nerve and the expression on her face read 'bingo!'. But she didn't push him, something Harry was expecting her to do.

"Listen, Harry. You're one of my dearest friends, and I'll always support your decisions, but I'm telling you right now... be careful." She warned him slowly, the serious tone of voice making Harry's ears perk up more at what she said.

"Y/N is a great girl, sweetest person I've ever met. But she's young, Harry, and she's only lived a very secluded life so far." She explained, and Harry clenched his jaw, heart straining at the confrontational tone. "If you're serious about her, great! I love her, she's amazing and I think you'd be very good for each other. But if you view this is a 'one and done' kind of situation, then I strongly suggest you pick someone else because she really likes you, I can see it."

The corner of his mouth quirked up. "You think she likes me?"

The next sound that left him was a yelp, flinching at Sophie's hand punching against his upper arm.

"Was that seriously the only thing you got from my speech?" She squinted her eyes at her friend. He only had that cheeky grin on his face.

"It was the part that stood out most." He wiggled his eyebrows, earning another slap against his arm. Harry hissed, moving away from Sophie. "God you hit hard, do you take self defense classes or something?"

"You have five seconds to disappear or I'll go full Kung Fu on your ass, Harry." Sophie grunted, pouting an accusatory finger at him.

"Actually, what I teach is not called Kung Fu—" She corrected her, having too much fun with this situation. He wasn't able to stop himself from teasing his friend, mainly because he didn't want to. Harry was in a bit of a cheeky mood now that Sophie had told him Y/N liked him.

"Two more seconds Harry." She growled, rolling up her sleeves.

"And speaking of self defense, your punch was kind of weak. Have you been lifting those weights we talked about—"

"Time's up!" Sophie exclaimed, and before she'd finished her sentence, Harry was running back to his office. He was in his office just in time to lock the door and laugh at the middle fingers Sophie was holding up for him. After a few minutes, she gave up and began to exercise, leaving Harry alone with his running mind.

"...because she really likes you, I can see it." 

He was aware that he was grinning like an idiot as he replayed that sentence over and over in his head while creating a membership card for Y/N on his computer and sending the bill to his own bank account, but he didn't give a fuck. He didn't care if the whole word could see him giddy over this angel of his, in fact, he would only love to show her off.

She liked him. He couldn't believe it.

Taglist: @meetmeatyourworst @mema10 @seafoamwhispers @namoreno @inkedskin @fangirl509east @mellamolayla @lizsogolden @prettydelilah

[unexpected-character]

Hoodies and Koala

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Warnings: none (if you think there are please tell me so I can add them)

———————————————————

You just got home from work and you feel so stressed and burned out however you still have to finish your report. You have to present last month's stocks to the board. You thought being the CEO would surely have perks and less load but you are dead wrong. You're still a slave of the 9-5 but sometimes because of all the projects you got to sign and check you have to bring work home with you. After you showered and changed, you settled in your home office to finish everything up.

A few hours since you got home, juggling of keys can be heard by the door. Due to how busy you are, you didn't even hear the penthouse door open and close and your girlfriend calling out your name checking if you were home or not.

As Natasha went in further, and found you concentrating in typing like a lunatic on your laptop. She saw how you were not enjoying any of what you are doing and wanted to help you out but first she have to shower and clean herself up first. She too had a long day. She just got off a mission that almost, almost went downhill due to a rookie agent that tripped the alarm wire. She had to double her efforts and knock all the hydra agents down before they get caught. Thankfully everything finished without any further hitch and just want to come home to you and cuddle.

She dressed herself with shorts and your favorite hoodie, now hers. It was big covering her shorts with it and comfy that she likes to just bury her nose in it as it smells like you.

She was by your office doorway trying to get your attention. She already have called your name a few times yet you haven't acknowledged her presence.

"Detka..."

"Moya lyubov..."

"Y/N!" She shouted, this caught your attention away from the screen.

"Hey, princess. You're home." You said looking at her lovingly. Admiring her outfit and how she simply looks beautiful and sexy without even trying.

"I've been trying to get your attention, lyubov but it seems like you weren't able to hear me and your eyes were glued to the screen."

"Sorry, baby. I've been just stressing out because we have tomorrow's monthly report and I had to finalize the numbers. Even crossing the t's and dotting i's of contracts for tomorrow."

You got up and stretched you've been hunched over the laptop for hours now. You walk towards your girlfriend and gave her a warm welcome home embrace. The height difference is just perfect.

"Princess, is this my hoodie?" Moving your head a bit to look at the hoodie she's wearing. She looked at you and said,

"Nope. This is mine now." snuggling back to your embrace.

"Uh huh, so when I was looking for this yesterday and you said you don't know where it is... you had it all along did you?" You said dumbfounded.

"Shhh! Cuddles. Can we go to bed now, detka?" She said almost in a sleepy tone.

She jumped up to lock her legs around you, she's lucky catching her like this is a second nature for you. For an avenger and ex-assassin, she can be very clingy and baby when she's with you. If someone walks in and find you guys like this, her attached to you like a koala, surely they'd think something was wrong.

"Sorry, princess but I have to finish my report first. How about I take you to bed, love?" You said while carrying her towards both your bedroom. She didn't reply and instead snuggled further as if you two can get any closer than this.

As you put her down on the bed, she won't let go. You tried to pry off her arms but she won't let go.

"Baaaaabe, I have to finish my report."

"Nooooo"

"Princess, come on now."

"No!" She said stubbornly.

You had no choice but to lift her up again. She yelped and you just chuckled.

"You're an ass."

"I told you to let go."

You walked back to your office and settle yourself down on your chair, her still snuggled on you.

She raised her head to look at you as if asking 'what the hell!?' and you just look and raised your eyebrow with a smirk.

She leaned in and kissed you passionately, as air was needed as you both stopped but foreheads still pressed and nose rubbing on each other.

She snuggled back, putting her face in the crook of your neck, feeling her lips on your neck. She gave you a small kiss. You kissed her shoulder.

"You're lucky that I love you, Romanoff."

"I love you too, moya lyubov."

[mymindcreatedthis]

Massuse in Need 18+

Reader x Katie McCabe

Warning: Smut! smut! Smut!

Word count: 4.2k

*Y/n's Pov*

"Come in" I announced to the sudden knock at my office door, checking my paper work to find out who my next appointment was with.

Katie McCabe was my next and also final appointment of the evening.

A long busy Sunday full of constant massages and treatment for the players helping them recover from the game yesterday.

I was glad I was on my last appointment, even more glad it was with Katie, someone who I get on with and can have a laugh with very well.

"Here for my appointment Y/N" Katie said as she made her way in, closing the door behind her.

"Take a seat on the bed" I said with a smile tapping on the bed.

Katie lifted herself up and she sat on the bed watching as I began to get myself prepared.

"Have you got any slight pains or achiness I need to know about so there not worsened" I question, pulling up Katie's medical records to see if anything had been noted I didn't yet know about.

"There's only one things aching right now since iv walked in this room and I think it's something you could deal with" Katie said with her cheeky smile, her strong Irish accent sounding stronger then ever.

"Stop Katie" I giggled shaking my head. I could feel my face becoming more and more red.

"Your my last appointment, please don't make this difficult" I asked putting my gloves on after reading there were no real current problems Katie was currently facing.

"Haha I'm sorry, I'll be on my best behaviour from now on, well I'll try to be anyway" Katie said with a smile. The smile I knew all too well from my 4 years of being at Arsenal that she in fact was not going to make this easy for me.

"Right then" I said with a smirk. "What are we working on today then" I questioned, standing up off my seat, making my way over to the bed.

"My hamstrings and calfs feel really tight" Katie explained to me.

"Okay, can you lay down on your stomach for me" I asked.

Katie did as I asked immediately, laying on her stomach, her hands by her side.

I knew I shouldn't, it was bad of me but the view I had on Katie's ass was mesmerising. It made me throb immediately as it just sat there, looking so perfect, so round.

Snapping out of it I began to rub Katie's calf, digging my thumbs slightly into her muscle.

"How does that feel?" I ask.

"Uhhh, it already feels a lot looser" Katie groaned as I continued to rub up and down her calf.

After applying pressure on her calfs, I moved up towards her hamstrings.

"Can I fold your shorts up a little bit from the bottom" I asked, my eyes glued to her ass.

"Fold them up as high as you'd like" Katie laughed.

I could feel myself throb under my shorts as I began to fold her shorts up, shaking my head at her response but not giving her the answer she wanted. I didn't think I'd be able to answer with the thoughts going through my head.

The way the bottom of her ass cheeks appeared at the bottom of her shorts, practically leaking out from how big her ass truly was, was a view I'd love to stare at forever. I could feel myself growing inside my shorts.

I began to slowly rub up and down the back of her thighs the same way I did with her calf's relieving any stress her muscles may be feeling.

"Iv Umm, iv got Ireland camp soon, do you think I'd be able to book back in with you when I get back, it would be next Wednesday?” Katie asked.

"That's actually my day off, I'm sorry" I replied to Katie, resuming the massage in her thighs.

"Arhh okay, it's just iv been struggling with my legs and you're the best around, it's okay though" Katie explained.

I didn't say anything at first, my eyes still glued to the way her ass jiggled every time I pressed down on her hamstrings. I couldn't get enough of it, the view.

"I'll tell you what, come to my house on Wednesday, iv got everything at home" I offered.

"No, it's your day off I don't want to bug you, that's not fair" Katie exclaimed.

"Nope it's happening, your coming on Wednesday" I laughed

"You just can't get enough of me can you darling" Katie giggled as she spoke sarcastically.

"Don't get any ideas McCabe" I laughed back at her.

A few more minutes past filled with constant groans leaving Katie's mouth from the massage, I was done

"I feel so much better already" Katie laughed as she sat up on the bed.

"I'm glad" I smiled. "Iv sent you my address okay"

"Yeah iv got it, thank you so much Y/n" Katie exclaimed getting off the bed, grabbing her belongings

"It's okay"

*Wednesday*

Wednesday soon came around, leaving me sat nervously waiting for Katie to knock on the door.

Everything set up and ready for her. Shes been on my mind all week, so much cum wasted on the thought of her ass, not being able to get it out of my head.

I could feel myself getting hard just the thought of being able to see her again, led on the table, me rubbing my hands up and down her body.

A knock on the door soon brought me back to reality. Standing up I made my way to the door met with Katie on the other side.

"Hey" I said with a smile. "Please come in"

I followed behind her as she placed her bag on the ground. "Iv got everything ready so when your ready we can begin"

"Okay Y/N sounds good, can I use the bathroom to get myself ready" Katie's asked.

"Yeah of course it's just out into the hallway, the first door on your left, tasks your time"

"Thank you"

Katie grabbed her bag back off of the floor and followed my directions to the bathroom. It wasn't long before she returned back, wrapped in a white tower, her hair put into a messy bun.

"One of the doctors at Ireland said to use this, apparently it's really good for the skin, would that be okay" Katie asked showing me a bottle of baby oil.

"Yeah of course, what ever works for you. You can get on the bed when you're ready" I said taking the bottle out of her hand.

She made her way to the bed setup in the middle of the room and suddenly dropped her towel, revealing her freshly tanned body, naked.

"Ummm Katie" I whispered

"Your okay with me like this right" Katie smirked laying on her stomach. "You'll be able to control yourself" she added with a giggle.

I didn't know what to say, or too do. I could feel my dick growing inch by inch by the second.

"I'll. I'll be okay" I stuttered.

Katie had the biggest smirk on her face as she placed her head on the bed. I couldn't help but scan her body, she was driving me crazy.

Slowly walking to the end of the bed, my dick now rock solid I popped open the baby oil. Without warning I began to slowly pour it onto her back, receiving a big gasp of air from Katie from the surprise coldness.

"Rub it in everywhere Y/n" Katie said with a hint of control.

"Everywhere" I said questioning what she said

"Yes everywhere"

I did as she said and began to rub the oil into her skin, her back, her arms. I made it to her ass.

"Fuck" I whispered to myself

"You okay over there" Katie questioned, clearly enjoying the way she was making me feel.

"Y-yes, I'm fine" I stuttered once again

"Good girl, make sure you rub it in nicely for me"

Fuck, she just called me a good girl, I couldn't take this for much longer. I did as she asked rubbing the oil into her ass nicely for her, covering every inch of her ass.

Moving onto her legs I couldn't stop staring at her ass, how it perfectly glistened as I pressed into her legs.

I began the massage as best as I could, fighting back the thoughts on my mind. Little moans leaving Katie's throat as I began to rub up her legs, pressing down into her muscles making her body move side to side, her ass non stop jiggling.

"Y/n" Katie said

"Yes" I replied mid way through rubbing down her hamstrings.

"My ass needs a little attention" Katie said as calm as anything

"Ohh umm okay" I said moving my hands up to her ass and began to slowly rub.

"Grab it" she said, a sense of order

I didn't know what to do or what to say. Deciding to do as Katie said, taking to hand fulls of her ass cheeks.

"You like that" Katie asked me looking over her shoulder

I didn't say a word

"You can be honest, I won't tell anyone" She assured me.

"I do. A lot" I replied, instantly regretting it

"Kiss it" Katie says.

"What?" I ask.

"Now, kiss it" Katie order me

I looked into her eyes as I slowly leant down placing a kiss to her left ass cheek.

"Fuck" I whispered

"How did that feel" Katie asked me a smirk on her face

"So good" I said embarrassingly.

"Iv noticed you've been hard all day baby since iv got here and at our last appointment" Katie explained. "So I'm going to help you" she added.

"O-o-okay, how" I asked confused

"You'll see. First I want you on your knees between my ass, licking my pussy. Can you do that" Katie asked as she slowly shuffled to the end of the bed.

"Yes, yes I can"

I got onto my knees at the end of the bed as Katie told me to do. Running my hands up and down her legs, I carefully gripped her calfs pulling her into the position I needed her.

One hand on her back, another on her ass cheek spreading it to the side carefully, I divided into her pussy, taking a long lick.

"Fuck, good girl, don't stop" Katie moaned, shuffling her ass into my face.

I don't stop, I'd never dream of stopping. This is all I'd been thinking about. Katie and her perfectly sculptured body. Her perfect ass. I began to lick up and down her pussy, every so often dipping my tongue inside, each time Katie let a moan of pleasure leave her lips.I tried to take a tighter grip of her ass but her oil made it impossible to grip.

"Spank me" Katie order with a moan

I didn't think, immediately spanking her ass. The moans she made, how she instantly became wetter as I felt it on my tongue told me she liked being spanked. I did it again, and again, and again. Each time receiving a louder moan.

"Good girl, keep going, you're gonna make me cum" Katie yelled as she reached over pressing my head as far into her ass as she could.

Knowing she was close I began to quickly dip my tongue in and out of her pussy. This bang to make her legs shake her pussy began to leak as she let out a deafening squeal.

"Ohhhhh fuck, fuck stay there fuck, in cumming" Katie yelled.

I stayed still as she rode out her high on my tongue, tasting the heaven that left her pussy.

"Fuck, Y/N" Katie whispered with a hint of exhaustion. "Take them clothes off and get on this bed, I need to feel that dick of yours" Katie said as she shuffled back to the top of the bed.

"Yes ma'am" I began to take my clothes off getting completely naked and joined Katie on the bed, she was there on her hands and knees, her body still glistening from the oil.

"Fuck me, be a good girl"

I lined my dick up with her dripping pussy, before pushing in I tapped her back.

"Are you sure about this" I questioned still unsure if this was a good idea.

Katie looked back at me with a smile and threw her ass back, swallowing my dick up inside of her, her ass rippled from the force she used.

"Fuck okay, you are, you are sure" I moaned gripping her hips.

I gave in, on top of the massage bed I began to thrust in and out of Katie. First going slowly letting Katie get used to the size. Gripping her hips tighter and tighter. How tight I gripped her would have definitely left marks but in that moment neither of us cared, all we cared about was the pleasure we were being put through.

"Fuck Katie, your ass looks so good oiled up" I moaned with the biggest smile on my face, the realisation hitting I finally was getting what I had been craving for, for so long.

"You like the way, fuck, you like the way it jiggles" Katie moaned, the head face down on the bed.

"So much" I say.

I moved my left hand to grip at her ass as best as I could, a struggle because of the baby oil plastered over it, but I made it work.

"You are actually so tight Katie" I moaned as I began to thrust in and out faster and harder than before.

"All for you" Katie moaned

I began to speed up my thrusts, getting faster and harder as I slammed into Katie, sweat beginning to form on my forehead. This was the best feeling in the word, how nicely my dick went in and out of her pussy, such a hypnotic sight.

I placed my spare hand on her lower back getting a full grip of her lower body as I could feel myself getting closer and closer.

I didn't want this to end, the sensation I was feeling. The way her pussy swallowed my my dick up so nicely, so perfectly. The way her ass rippled after every thrust, the noises leaving her mouth. It was truly a dream come true.

Every ripple her ass made caused my cock to twitch inside of her tight pussy. I reached over placing my hand in her head pushing her into the massage bed more and more.

*creampie*

There was nothing I could do. It was always going to happen as I felt my balls tighten and the sense of relief leaving my body as cum exploded out of my dick.

"Fuck Katie, fuck, I'm cumming" I yelled as I spanked her ass for the first time as she pushed her ass against me, making me go as deep as possible.

"Good girl" Katie moaned with a satisfied voice.

I pulled out, hypnotised by the way my cum slowly dripped out of her pussy.

"Fuck" I whispered to myself slapping her ass once again

"We're not done yet" Katie laughed as she got on her back. "Cover me in that baby oil, I want to be glistening as you fuck me" She added passing me the baby oil back.

I smirk as I feel my cheeks turn red, as I slowly begin to drizzle the oil over her front, biting my lip. I began to rub the oil over her body, covering her stomach and gripping her boobs

"You look so sexy" I moaned as I as I'm hypnotised by the sight in front of me.

I played around with her nipples as I continued to oil up her boobs getting carried away.

"That's enough playing" Katie said as an order

"Yeah, yeah okay" I coughed as I got in between her legs and lined my dick up with her entrance.

I slammed into her pussy and began to thrust in and out taking the view in of her boobs bouncing around. The way the oil all over her body glistened in the light. I leaned into her and placed a kiss on her lips.

"So good" I moaned placing another kiss before pulling away.

"Fuck Y/n. Such a good girl for me" Katie moaned as she closed her eyes.

All I could do was moan as the words left Katie's mouth. I gripped her hips and began to hammer into her as hard as I could. The harder I was going the more I thought the massage bed was going to break underneath us but I didn't care, this felt too good to worry about a bed.

I snaked my arm from her right hip to her leg and placed it over my shoulder, allowing myself to get deeper into her pussy. As soon as I did this I let out the loudest moan, an all new sense of feeling flew through me as I continued to hammer into Katie. Her moans in her Irish accent kept me going, somehow my cock getting harder inside of her.

I grip her leg that I had thrown over my shoulder and began to kiss up and down her calf. Watching the way her pussy swallowed my cock up whole with no problem was mesmerising, a perfect fit.

The slapping noises of my balls hitting off her ass was a noise I would never get bored of.

"Oh god Y/n fuck, why haven't we done- done this sooner" Katie stuttered.

"I don't know baby" I moaned as I didn't slow down. "Just - just know this won't be the last" I giggled as I began to stutter myself the feeling running through my body taking over my mind more and more.

My mouth hung open, Katie's eyes rolled to the back of her head. I took her leg that was already over my shoulder aswell as her other leg and pushed them into the air and began to slam into her one last time.

"Fuck Y/N just there, that's the spot fuck" Katie screamed.

I knew I'd hit the spot where she needed me to be as soon as I did this. I continued to thrust into her, liquid visibly gushing out of her pussy.

"I'm cumming, fuck Y/n I'm cumming" Katie screamed as she started to grip the edge of the bed.

*creampie*

The sight of Katie screaming in pleasure, the way her walls tightened around my dick I couldn't hold it in much longer.

My balls tightened for the last time as I screamed in pleasure myself, leaking my seed into her pussy.

We both came together, both of our legs shaking as we came down from our highs, gripping my boobs tightly I looked down at Katie still led on her back.

"More" I asked slightly out of breath as I ran my hand over her glistening abs.

"Definitely more" She giggled.

I pulled out watching as my cum leaked out of her pussy once again, a smile on my face.

"Get down off the bed, I want you bent over your ass all exposed for me" I said as I took her hands in mine and helped her off the bed.

The way Katie smiled, her face turning a shade of red as she climbed off the bed, her boobs jiggling as she did this. She got into position. Her hands on the bed as she bent over. I couldn't resist as I spanked her ass a little hard causing it to jiggle around.

"So good" I smiled too my self getting a little giggle from Katie.

I had a sudden idea, grabbing the bottle of oil still on the side table, I began to drizzle some over her ass and began to rub it in causing her ass to glisten and shine even more.

"Much better" I whispered taking a grip of her right ass cheek.

Slowly I began to tease Katies asshole with my tip, slowly getting her prepared for my length. Placing my right hand on her back I slowly enter her ass, her hands gripping the bed as hard as possible, her knuckles turning white.

"Fuuuuckkk. Y/N, your massive" She yells in a mix of pain and pleasure.

I began to speed my thrusts up, moving my hand from her back to gripping her brown hair in a pony tail pulling it to allow me to get even deeper inside of her.

"This is fucking amazing, you feel amazing" I say softly as I use my spair hand to grab her ass.

Her ass still glistening and shiny from the oil I had spread over it seconds before.

The view of Katie fidgeting from the pleasure, trying to grip any part of the bed she could as I continued to fuck her made me go even faster, turning me on all the more. Watching as her ass rippled after every thrust. Her fat ass bouncing repeatedly off of my thighs was a view I'd dreamed of seeing and wanted to see it all the more.

I move my hands to now be gripping tightly onto Katie's hips, allowing me to pull her into me, allowing us both to get closer to our highs. I began to slam her into me faster and faster, the way it made her ass jiggle against me made me want to explode suddenly.

"Babe I feel like I'm going to explode all ready" I moan, my thrusts becoming slower.

"Fill my ass up, I want you too fill it to the brim" Katie moaned, sweat dripping down her back. "Not a drop wasted" She added

5 minutes passed, the only noises filling the room was our continous moans as I slowly began to reach my high.

"Katie fuck it's coming, I'm about to cum" I moan as I started to thrust as hard as I could.

*creampie*

The grip I had on her ass was unbreakable as I explodes in her asshole. Without being able to warn her properly it was coming.

"Such a good girl" I moaned as my head hung backwards as my thrusts slowed down, emptying every drop inside of her.

I held onto her shoulders as I thrusted as deep as i could inside of her filling her all the way up.

"I think I deserve to use that throat of yours don't you" I questioned Katie as she turned around to face me.

"I think you do" She giggled.

I tapped on the bed insinuating to her to get on.

"Get on that back of yours again, your head dangling over the edge"

With a smile on her face Katie jumped onto the bed her head dangling over the end of the massage bed.

I began to rub my hands up and down her body, my hand sliding around her throat lightly gripping slightly before letting go.

"Fuck, I'm gonna destroy that throat" I whispered with a moan as I began to rub my tip over her lips.

"Open up baby, let me in that slutty throat of yours" I said tapping her throat.

Katie opened on command, immediately I began slamming deep into her throat, causing her to gag.

"Good girl for taking it" I whisper to Katie as I see her eyes begin to water, her arms travel to the back of my thighs.

The pleasure I was feeling, constantly thrusting in and out of her tight throat, hearing her gag every time, the feeling of my balls hitting her nose.

"Fuck Katie, your throat is so tight" I moaned as I took a grip of her right boob and continued to thrust in and out.

Saliva began to pour out of her mouth covering her eyes and nose.

"Fuck, so messy" I giggled

I could feel her begin to struggle, some of the girls talking in the background. I couldn't stop now, I was getting too close. I sped my thrusts up, every time I hit the back of her throat I gained a gag from her. her hands began to grip my thighs tighter

"A little more Katie" I moaned gripping her tit a little tighter, fucking her throat faster.

More and more saliva began to leak from her mouth as I began to bottom out in her throat every thrust I gave her, my balls hitting off of her chin constantly. The way Katie gagged began to make my balls tighten.

*throat pie*

I couldn't take it anymore. With a final thrust, my dick sliding down Katies throat I exploded, filling her throat up causing her to gag and choke.

I pulled out causing her to gasp loudly for air after she was made to swallow my load. Her face covered in saliva mixed with tears from her eyes. Her eyes red, her mascara smudged.

"Fuck that's it I'm done" I laughed as Katie swallowed what she had left in her mouth.

"You taste amazing" Katie laughed as she ran her finger over her lips collected the rest of my cum before placing it in her mouth.

"So when would you like your next appointment" I giggled at her as she did this.

"Urmmm every day" She laughed at me rubbing the tears that had fell down her cheeks.

"I'll definitely be recommending you to the girls" She added with a smile getting off the bed placing a kiss on my lips.

"Not before we get you booked in" I smiled placing another kiss to her lips.

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

The Distance Between Us

Pairing: Micah Yujin x gn!Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Ooo it just makes sense to me that my first repost on this account is Micah Yujin

You shut the door quietly tiptoeing inside your room. It felt odd to be doing that inside your own room, but you didn’t want to wake up the snoring mass on your bed. It had been about two hours since you woke up, but he was here, still sleeping like a rock. It was almost cute. You set down the large plushie in your arms and took out your phone. A line of drool spilled out of his open mouth and his arm was thrown over the side of the bed. The sight itself would make a perfect screensaver. So you took a picture, immediately setting it to rest on your screen.

“Micah,” You whispered. “Micah, wake up.”

He let out a groan. “Five more minutes.”

You poked his cheek. “Micah~. C’mon get your lazy ass up.”

“No! I don’t wanna go to school!” He rolled over, batting your hand away.”

“Ok, fine. Have it your way.” You took in a deep breath then shouted as loudly as you could. “HOLY SHIT! MICAH, YOU’RE GONNA MISS THE BUS!!”

“Fuck!!”

Micah got tangled in all the blankets, panicking to get up. He fell off the bed then sat up, looking around. Instead of finding a parent yelling at him, he found you covering your mouth, trying not to laugh. Micah slowly stood and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

“Still dreaming about school?” You giggled.

“Shut up.” He rubbed his head. “What time is it?”

You walked over to him, fixing his bed head. “Almost 2. You slept in for pretty long.”

“We did stay up until three am,” He yawned, stretching out his muscles Then his eyes widened. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“My flight. It leaves in like two hours.”

“Oh.”

You knew he would be leaving at some point. You just didn’t think it was going to be right after he came to visit. You backed away from him. It was so sudden that he came, You were too caught up in the happiness of not only having your dream first date, but having him that you didn't even think about how long he would be staying.

Micah shrugged. “Well, it’s too late now. Guess I have to leave at the end of the week.”

“But I live close to the airport so-“

“Nope.”

Micah pulled on your arm and dragged you down onto your mattress. You let out a small laugh and he buried his face in your neck. His hold was tight. You held him back just as tightly. It was sort of endearing, the way he wanted to stay here with you. 

“Can you really stay until the end of the week?”

“Wouldn’t you like that, angel?” He whispered in your neck.

“What happens if I say yes?”

“Then I’ll be one happy man.”

“But you can’t stay?”

He leaned back slightly and looked up at you. “If you want me to.”

“I-“ You paused, looking away. “I want to say yes. But what will you do about work? Or the fact that you came here with almost nothing?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He sat up, laughing slightly. He then spotted the new addition of plushies on your bed. “What's this?”

“Oh!” You picked it up and handed it to him. “For you!”

He took it. “For me?”

“Yeah! You gave me one to keep me company so…I did the same.”

Micah inspected it, squishing it gently. “What animal even is it? A cat? Fox? Dog?”

“Uhh….yes.”

“Perfect.”

***

The airport was busy. It took a while to be able to even find a parking spot. Now you waited for Micah as he bought some snacks and a drink. He came out, struggling to carry the stuff he bought and the plushie. You took the plushie. 

“Thank you, angel.”

“Got everything?”

“Think so..” He looked around then his eyes met yours as he grinned. “Just need you.”

You groaned. “Alright, come on Mr. Suave, let’s go check to see which gate you’re at.”

“You think I’m suave?”

“Only sometimes.”

He laughed. Your heart ached. That fucking laugh was a gift to hear in real life, not through a screen. And that would be gone soon. You two made your way to the large screen showing all flights. You wished that all of yesterday never ended. Watching movies, playing card games, making jokes, and just being in each other's presence felt like it was a lifetime away. 

If life could be like a fairytale, that would be amazing. Living in the bubble of happiness that he gave you would have been amazing. Yet, as much as you hated it, life gave you other plans. When he wasn’t being a menace or making you blush, he looked peaceful. As if he was constantly thinking about something that made him happy.  You watched as Micah pouted, sitting on his suitcase as he crossed his arms and stared up and searched for his flight number. You held his plushie in your arms, squeezing it tightly. 

He squinted. “Can I just stay?”

“Yes”

“Really?”

“No,” You rolled your eyes. “We both have work. And someone decided flying down here without a plan was a good idea.”

“It was,” Micah mumbled, pursing his lips and looking away. “You seemed to enjoy it anyway.”

You walked over to him and poked his shoulder. He looked up at you. Normally (as normal as knowing him for a week is), you would be annoyed by that stupidly cute pout on his face. All you wanted to do was make him smile. Leave off on a good note instead of sad. 

“We can talk once you’re back.”

“But it’s not the same.” 

“Then visit again.”

His face lit up. You help up a finger, your face twisting in a scowl.

“But we need a plan! Like what we’re gonna do about work, how long you’re actually gonna stay…you know. Responsible stuff.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you calling me irresponsible?”

“Maybe.”

“You could’ve kicked me out. Accepting a stranger into your home through your window isn’t very responsible either.”

You placed a hand on your heart. “You’re right! I promise I’ll do better, Micah Yujin.”

He pat your head. “That’s better.”

You two giggled and he stood, gulping down the rest of his energy drink. You scrunched your nose. You had no idea how he constantly threw those back, much less before a flight. If it were you, you would just pop some dramamine and hope you stayed passed out the whole flight. The two of you started to walk in silence towards the security check. His shoulders bumped into you and you squeezed the plushie as hard as you could, biting your lip.

“Well,” He turned towards you. “This is were we part.”

“It is.”

“I feel like we’re in a romance movie,” He chuckled. “But seriously, I’m glad I came down here.”

You held out the plushie towards him. “Me too. I’ll talk to you later, Yujin. Don’t miss me too much.”

“Thank you, angel. At least someone wants to go home with me,” He put on a falsetto voice and poked at the plushie. “Isn’t that right, Skrunkly Jr.?”

“Is that the name you’re going with?”

He shrugged. “Seemed fitting.”

You laughed. “Alright. Get going or you’re gonna be late.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” You waved and then started to walk away. It hurt more than you thought it would. 

“Wait! I forgot something!”

You turned around on your foot, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips. “Really, Micah? I told you to make sure you have everything before we-”

“Shut up, I’m gonna kiss you now!”

Micah’s arm wrapped around your waist and he dipped you down. Your breath caught in your throat as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to keep from falling. His lips were chapped and tasted like the Cherry Blade Lemonade Bang he bought earlier. It was mostly sweet with a slight sourness to it. A jolt of electricity went down your spine as you felt your face flush. Micah pulled away, not meeting your eyes.

“Uh.”

“Bye.”

He turned and hightailed the fuck out. You watched with wide eyes as Skrunkly Jr. fell off the top of his suitcase. He picked it up and hugged it close to him. A trail of muttered “shit, shit, shit” was all that was left. You placed two of your fingers to your lips and then covered your face with your hands. Did he just dip and kiss you in public? You turned around, trying not to smile too widely as you left the airport. When you made it back in your car, you took out your phone. 

Micah💩: fhdsjalfhdjsla

Micah💩: vcxbzjvksbj oh my god

Micah💩: I cant believe i did that

You: neither can i

Micah💩: forgive me

You: 🤨are you saying you didnt like kissing me

Micah💩: i liked it very much

You: then there’s nothing to apologize for

Micah💩: did you like it?

You: i did. 

You: i also liked the taste of that bang

You: i’ll be energized for hours ;)

Micah💩: gfhjslghfjlsdghjfld

Micah💩: I need to board

Micah💩: i’ll miss you

Micah💩: and i’ll be recovering from this the whole time

Micah💩: talk to you later

You: Be safe. Let me know when you land.

You set your phone down. After a deep breath, you screamed and hit your hands against the steering wheel. What was that man thinking? Yes, you enjoyed it. Yes, it was a great first kiss and not awkward at all. But god fucking damn it, it made you want more. It made you miss him. A part of you wanted to stop the plane, drag him off it, and take him home. Your heart was happy but it sank a little at the thought of the growing distance between the two of you. 

“God,” You grumbled to yourself. “I’m gonna miss that idiot so much.”

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

There's not a lot of details yet, because this happened less than an hour ago, but it's being reported that a terrorist shooting attack took place today, at least two people are said to have been wounded and taken to the hospital, and the terrorist has been neutralized.

A little over a week ago, I wrote that Marwan Issa, Hamas' 3rd top leader in Gaza, might have been killed in an IDF strike, but there's no final confirmation yet. Since then, no one has been able to contact Issa, and the Israeli assessment is that his body is buried under the rubble. Now, there's been private conversations where Hamas has said the same thing, though officially they're still saying they don't know. Hamas has motivation to present Issa as alive, and thus Israel as having failed, but at the same time, if he actually hasn't been killed, just wounded in the strike, then Hamas has reason to want Israel to falsely believe he's dead. In other words, I wouldn't take Hamas' double position as confirming anything, and from what I know, that's the general thinking in Israel. If Marwan Issa is dead, one of the sides will get to his body sooner or later, and then we might know (if it's Israel, or if it's Hamas, but for whatever reason, they decide it serves them better to confirm his death). That said, it's kind of funny, how the US doesn't seem to get the complexity of Hamas' contradicting motives here, and takes their word as final confirmation that Issa is indeed dead. The concept of "terrorists lie if it benefits them, in this case they just seem currently unsure if it does" shouldn't be that hard to grasp. Like yes, we all are inclined to think Issa's dead, but there's a reason why no Israeli official has yet come out and publicly said it as a fact. This vid reports how Hamas both confirms and rejects the claim that Issa's dead, and the way it's subtitled with both positions says it all IMO:

Also amusing is how the international press doesn't not the ranking within Hamas Gaza. Marwan Issa is NOT Hamas' #2 in Gaza, he's #3. I saw headlines saying Israel might have killed Hamas' second top senior in Gaza, which is Mohammed Deif, and was disappointed to learn that nope, the media is just confused. Quick reminder: Yahya sinwar is Hamas Gaza's leader and #1, Mohammed Deif is the military leader and #2, Marwan Issa is Deif's right hand man and #3, while international media is way too clueless on some very basic stuff regarding this conflict.

Here's the international press giving Issa a postmortem promotion:

For comparison, here are those who correctly referred to him as Hamas' #3:

The operation at the Shifa hospital, which I wrote about yesterday, continues. The number of terrorists killed there has risen to 50, and 180 suspects were arrested. Another soldier has been killed during this recent operation, 51 years old Sebastian Haion, after we already lost one during it. Just a small reminder, that if there had been only unarmed civilians at this hospital, there would have been no dead Israeli soldiers in this raid.

This tweet was too long to fit in one screenshot, but here's the essence of it. The IDF's spokesman in Arabic has published on Twitter evidence that just like Hamas, Hezbollah along with fellow Lebanese terrorist organization Amal are also misusing medical ambulances and organizations for terrorist activities.

I've written about a British Jewish director who, at the Oscars, hijacked the Holocaust to denounce hijacking the Holocaust for political positions he does not agree with, based on a false and ignorant narrative, which is harmful to Jews. I also mentioned that the biggest organization fighting against antisemitism, the ADL, as well as an organization of Holocaust survivors has come out to denounce this director. I've been seeing even more denouncements. Here's a short recap. I just wanna clarify, this isn't about him personally. This is a reminder that people like him don't get to erase the voices of the majority of Jews, while using his own Jewish identity to do so, without us speaking up, too. The sad thing is none of these voices will be heard as loudly or be as applauded as he was, for throwing most Jews (and Holocaust victims) under the bus, in favor of what's trendy to say these days.

I'll start with another Jewish director, László Nemes, who had also won an Oscar for a Holocaust movie, Son of Saul (I have to admit, Holocaust movies will never be truly able to capture the full horror and brutality of the Nazi camps, but of all the ones I've seen, and I've watched way too many, Son of Saul comes closest, probably aided by the fact that it's based on testimonies of the survivors who had seen the worst of the worst with their own eyes). Nemes said: "[The] director should have stayed silent instead of revealing he has no understanding of history and the forces undoing civilisation, before or after the Holocaust. Had he embraced the responsibility that comes with a film like that, he would not have resorted to talking points disseminated by propaganda meant to eradicate, at the end, all Jewish presence from the Earth. It is especially troubling in an age where we are reaching pre-Holocaust levels of anti-Jewish hatred – this time, in a trendy, ‘progressive’ way."

Another Jewish creator, Richard Trank, wrote a whole op-ed about how offensive he found the speech. Trank is a producer who won an Oscar for Holocaust documentary The Long Way Home (a movie that follows the struggle of the majority of survivors to get to Israel at the end of WWII, despite British opposition and Arab violence). Trank wrote, among other things: "Upon hearing [the speech], I thought about the assistant camera operator who has worked on three of my films, and whose 79-year-old father was kidnapped. This man had been spending his retirement years volunteering to drive Gazans needing medical care into Israel, care which Hamas could not provide for them despite billions in aid that has been sent to the area since the terrorist organization took control of it in 2006. I thought about the young people I have met in the last few weeks who survived the massacre at the Nova music festival. And then I reflected on this incredibly arrogant man who equated Israeli Jews to Nazis, and then left the Dolby Theatre with his statue when the awards show ended to party the night away."

And then, it turned out that the man who denounced hijacking the Holocaust for political causes, had not only hijacked the Holocaust itself with his little stunt, he also hijacked the Holocaust movie he had directed, from fellow Jewish co-creators who disagree deeply with his speech. Among them is Danny Cohen, an executive producer of this Oscar winning Holocaust film, and the article about his objection mentions that another Jewish producer of the movie, Len Blavatnik, who was standing on stage during the speech and was specifically referred to as if he agreed with it, did not sign off on it. Cohen made his position clear: "My support for Israel is unwavering. The war and the continuation of the war is the responsibility of Hamas, a genocidal terrorist organization, which continues to hold and abuse the hostages, and which doesn’t use its tunnels to protect the innocent civilians of Gaza, but uses it to hide themselves and allow Palestinians to die. I think the war is tragic and awful and the loss of civilian life is awful, but I blame Hamas for that. And any discussion of the war without saying that lacks the proper context that any discussion should have."

Now, there's an open letter condemning the director's speech, with the signatures of over 450 Jewish Hollywood creators, from different fields in the film industry. The letter says: "We refute our Jewishness being hijacked for the purpose of drawing a moral equivalence between a Nazi regime that sought to exterminate a race of people, and an Israeli nation that seeks to avert its own extermination. Every civilian death in Gaza is tragic. Israel is not targeting civilians. It is targeting Hamas. The moment Hamas releases the hostages and surrenders, is the moment this heartbreaking war ends. This has been true since the Hamas attacks of October 7th. The use of words like “occupation” to describe an indigenous Jewish people defending a homeland that dates back thousands of years, and has been recognized as a state by the United Nations, distorts history. It gives credence to the modern blood libel that fuels a growing anti-Jewish hatred around the world, in the United States, and in Hollywood.  The current climate of growing antisemitism only underscores the need for the Jewish State of Israel, a place which will always take us in, as no state did during the Holocaust." Here's a link to the full letter, and list of signatories, which includes 4 rabbis. Please don't let all of these voices go unheard and lost.

This is 19 years old Oz Daniel.

I was listening to a TV interview with the family of Oz Daniel yesterday. For many months, he was thought to be kidnapped when wounded (they found traces of blood), but not dead. The main reason for the latter assumption, was that Hamas had uploaded on Oct 7 a video of him where Oz is seen being taken away while alive. I wrote about him in one of my daily update post when it was published that the army had enough to determine he had actually been murdered during the massacre, and it's his body that's being held hostage in Gaza. His parents mentioned yesterday, that as the IDF is fighting Hamas in Gaza, it also gets to a lot of their computers. And on one of them, they found the original, unedited footage of Oz being kidnapped. It shows the part they'd seen before, where he's being taken away still alive, but then it continues to show him fighting back, and the Hamas terrorists murder him. That means that they took the time to go over the footage before they uploaded it, and edit it in the cruelest way, to give Oz's family false hope. For months, the Daniel family waited for any sign of life from their child, without knowing there will never be one. It is heartless and abusive, it is torture to put people through the ordeal of thinking that they have a chance of seeing their son alive, knowing it's a deliberate lie. I don't know if I can think of any worse form of torment.

This is (on the left) 40 years old Shlomi Ziv, with his wife Miren.

Shlomi finished his interior design studies a month before Hamas' massacre, and on occasion, he worked in security. On Oct 7, he worked at the Nova music festival as a guard, together with Aviv, who's Miren's cousin, and a friend of Slomi and Miren, Jack. Shlomi saw both of his friends murdered, while he himself was kidnapped. Miren shared that they had wanted kids, and tried fertility treatments, but after years of repeated attempts, she had to give up, and how rare and incredible it was, that Shlomi understood and accepted her decision, and stood by her. "We only have each other," she said, "we're each other's world. Please bring him back to me." In the last phone call that Shlomi had with her, he was running away from the terrorists, and could barely speak. Since then, Miren hasn't had any sign of life from her husband.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I've been thinking about this for a while. May I request Kerian battling a "snow on Mt. Silver" Reader? Reader was the strongest trainer at Blueberry academy and champion of the BB league until they willingly handed off the title to Drayton and climbed to the highest point in the polar biome to wait for a strong challenger. Kerian, upon becoming champion, gets wind of them and decides to battle them. Things go bad quickly as reader is a ghost/corpse. Kerian does get rescued but is traumatized.

Oh this is a GOOD concept,,,give him that near-death trauma waaaaay before he even learns about terapagos

Also ik the weather conditions in the terarium are all simulated, but let's just say it malfunctioned and resulted in an actual blizzard at the very peak of the polar biome that killed reader + their Pokémon off (yet no one knows this)

......

"Have you heard from [y/n] lately, Drayton?"

"Nope. Last time I checked, they're still chilling at the Polar Biome peak, waiting for a "worthy challenger"."

"Was that pun intended?"

"...maybe, haha. But y'know, I kinda miss seeing their face around campus. I mean..they were our club's first champion, and to this day I still don't know why they handed the title over to me and bailed on-"

"Hold on, there was a champion before you and...you didn't even fight them for the title? No wonder I was able to beat you so easily."

"Oh great, just the person I hoped to see." With a dry chuckle, Drayton turned his head only slightly upon seeing Kieran approaching the clubroom's table with a deep scowl, eyes bleak.

Of course, the new champion of BB Academy believed he had every right to barge into the Elite Four's conversations--given he was having a bit of a "power trip" ever since gaining the title yesterday.

But the dragon trainer elected to ignore him, instead turning back to the others. "Anyways..I'm sure [y/n]'s already moved onto better things. No way could they still be up there after all that weird stuff happened with the weather."

"You mean..the time there was an actual blizzard in the terarium??" Lacey gasped, before shaking her head and making an "x" pose. "Bzzzt. Nope. Impossible. They sent a search and rescue team in case anyone in the outdoor classroom got stranded up there. And they didn't find a soul!"

"Yeah!" Crispin nodded in agreement. "I get they were the strongest trainer in this entire school, but why would they risk-?"

"I'm sorry, they're the strongest? Why am I only hearing about this [y/n] now?"

With a small yelp, he turned to the purple-haired boy. "Wah!! I-I totally forgot you were here, sorry.." He mumbled, slightly cowering under his harsh gaze. "Obviously you're the strongest! [Y/n]'s not important..d-don't worry about them. They're history-"

"But you all seem pretty convinced they're still here." Kieran's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the group. "And you just told me where I might find them." He clenched his fists, already shaking with anticipation.

"Easy there, champ.." Drayton huffed in annoyance. "It's only a rumor that they're still hanging around. They weren't much of a talker, so we have no clue where they are. Could be in another region for all we know."

"..........."

"Don't tell me....you're thinking about charging up that mountain all by yourself to see if they're there, are you? That's suicide."

"I have to agree with Drayton." Amarys nodded. "The staff is still trying to determine the cause of the anomalous weather patterns. We aren't banned from venturing up there, but until they can find a solution, it's ill-advised."

"Exactly!" Lacey joined in. "I heard one of the rescue team members had to get treated for frostbite. And it wasn't from some ice-type Pokémon, but the blizzard itself. This is serious, Kieran!"

"....I'll be fine. Your scare tactics won't work on me."

"Huh?! But we're not-"

"Enough. I'm gonna go find them myself, seeing as you're all too cowardly to do so." The champion sneered. "If a worthy challenger is what they're after, then I'll give them one. I'll let them know there's a new champion in town..and that he's the strongest trainer in this academy. Not them."

With that, he turned on his heel and left the room, mumbling under his breath things that made the four feel uneasy.

"How pathetic. The Elite Four..scared of a little snow and ice? Whatever. I'll show them. I'll show [y/n]. I'll show them ALL..."

After the doors slammed shut behind him, they felt the tension still lingering in the air--as did every other club member who was hanging out on the sofas and by the BP computer.

"Man." Drayton broke the silence, sitting up to stretch his arms. "That kid catches wind of some random stranger who's just a little stronger than him, and boom. He's obsessed. Hope he doesn't get himself killed up there."

"Should one of us go after him?" Lacey muttered in concern, her gaze not leaving the doors.

"I-I think that would make him angrier.." Crispin shook his head. "He's got an Incineroar, so maybe it'll keep him toasty."

"That is true. He could also either confirm or deny [y/n]'s presence atop that mountain." Amarys spoke up. "I only hope he properly prepares himself for the long journey..and that no other weather anomalies arise.."

..........

"They weren't kidding..i-it's freezing...but we're doing this, Incineroar."

"Cinn.." Huffing, the Heel Pokémon remained beside its trainer as the two made their ascension towards the summit. They couldn't see any rest spots nor healing centers below them due to the snowfall being so heavy.

Even the teraglobe was barely visible.

Yet Kieran was persistent as ever in his goal, keeping his jacket zipped up and Incineroar close to him. He didn't care about the fact his hands were already growing numb, nor the cold biting at his legs leaving them weak.

He was the new champion. He had to let everyone in this school know and defeat whoever could threaten the position he worked so hard to achieve.

If not [Florian/Juliana]..then it was you.

You're someone he's never even met, but knowing you were the very first BB League champion and had a big-enough ego to come up here and wait for a strong challenger...was something he couldn't turn a blind eye to.

No.

Not if he wanted to be the best in this entire school and eliminate any competition.

Absolutely nothing was gonna stop him.

Not even the fact that his Incineroar's flames were struggling to stay alive, gradually exhausting the feline as it struggled to keep up. It began having chills itself, although it knew better than to disobey its trainer when he demanded to keep the fire going.

Surely it can tough it out for him, right?

After what seemed like an eternity, Kieran finally reached the top of the mountain and saw you: the lone figure waiting for them both. Much of the snowfall had already cleared up allowing him to see you in a cap that concealed your eyes and a BB Academy uniform.

You were looking at something up in the sky, until you heard the sounds of shuffling and turned around, looking down with surprise at the challenger.

This kid...came up all this way to see you? Impressive.

His Incineroar looked a little worse for wear, the flames around its belt dying out, yet it stuck close to its trainer's side as he stared at you with a cold hard gaze.

"Are you [y/n], former BB League Champion?" He questioned.

"........."

"Not much of a talker, huh? Guess they were right. I'm Kieran, or better yet..Champion Kieran."

Although you barely gave a response aside from a slight tilt of your head, he just smirked. "Yeah, you heard me. I'm the new champion and president of the League Club, not that dumb dragon tamer. Because unlike him, I worked hard to earn this title. I don't wait around for things to be handed to me on a silver platter."

".........."

"You think being champion is a joke? Something you can just pawn off to somebody when you get bored of it?"

"........."

"I thought so. That means you never deserved the title to begin with.." He scoffed, irritated by your silence. "Anyway, they said you were the strongest, but I'm here to change that!" Pointing up at you, he shouted over the wind. "You wanted a worthy opponent..well HERE I AM!!! Incineroar, Porygon-Z...show them the power of a true BB League Champion!!"

He took out his Virutal Pokémon's pokeball, ready to send it into battle.

But it didn't come out after he tossed it to the ground.

"...huh?" Confused, Kieran picked up the pokeball, wondering why it wasn't opening. Then he noticed frost coating the button, practically icing it over entirely. "No, no, no.....what is this?!"

For some reason it was jammed, and he discovered that all the other pokeballs in his bag were like that, too, rendering them inaccessible.

But how?

It shouldn't be possible for all of them to freeze simultaneously...their insulation should be top-tier.

Brushing off his worries, he glared at you. "Whatever. I can win a single-battle, too! I've developed strategies for this. Incineroar, it's all up to you now"

Nodding, the Heel Pokémon cracked its knuckles and stepped forward. But as it looked at you, it began shivering all of the sudden, feeling a drastic drop in temperature as the flames on its belt struggled still.

It wasn't just the weather giving it chills..but you.

Something about you just seemed...off, but it couldn't exactly tell its trainer what that was. Nor would he probably care.

Whether it liked it or not, it had to win this battle.

Wordlessly, you stepped down so you could fight on equal ground and took out a single pokeball. It was covered in frost, with much of the red paint faded, and it looked awfully damaged--especially the button.

Yet somehow it was functional as you sent out your first Pokémon.

And the sight of it was so grisly, Kieran felt genuinely nauseated, unable to do anything except stare in shock.

"Wh...What the..."

It appeared as a sickly frostbit creature, with its colors dull and empty sockets in place of its eyes. Not to mention the heavy wounds littering its body, which seemed fresh. It's like you ran out of healing items and never bothered to look for any more.

And its cry was pained.

Considering how much Kieran himself loved and treasured Pokémon, he was gravely concerned and had second thoughts about fighting one in such a horrible state...

But that little voice in his head told him that refusing to fight your team would make him look weak. You'd probably think he was weak for backing down.

And he refused to do that.

Why was he suddenly so afraid? You were only trying to scare him, just like everybody else...and he was fed up with that.

He came this far. He had to finish this.

"You...think your Pokémon can battle in that condition? Looks like they can barely stand." His eyebrows furrowed. "No matter. Once I beat you, I'll take them off your ha-"

"Struggle."

A hoarse whisper escaped your lips, stunning him as he realized you could actually speak. But then your Pokémon suddenly threw itself at Incineroar, attacking and taking a good deal of recoil damage as it fainted soon afterwards.

Or rather...

It simply dropped to the ground and ceased all motions, with you making no move to recall them. Instead you just sent out your next party member.

Kieran tried not to think about why they did that, and just scoffed at your strategy. "Really? This is what the "strongest" trainer is capable of? I expected better..I'll beat you in no time at all."

Yet you didn't seem fazed by anything he said, as you commanded your Pokémon to use Struggle, too.....and every other one after that did the same thing.

What frustrated him the most was how they all managed to outspeed Incineroar, forcing it to endure every hit without getting a chance to retaliate. It felt so unfair, and he couldn't do anything except sit and watch, feeling his blood boiling more with each passing second.

He didn't know why you exhausted all of your team's moves, why you wouldn't give him a chance to strike back....or why you're even up here at all and allowed them to get this bad.

But he knew one thing.

He wanted to get off this mountain soon.

The snowfall was growing heavier again, the howling wind picking up as the temperature kept dropping.

"Stop! Just stop for a second!!" He snapped as you readied your final pokeball. All you did was pause and stare at him. "You haven't given me a chance to attack yet! And I'm locked out my pokeballs...this isn't fair! You're cheating!!"

"..it's almost over."

He tensed, wondering why you spoke those words so ominously. But he took that as an insult and scowled. "For me? No...it's almost over for you. You're down to your last Pokémon..and I still have all of mine. I'm putting an end to this pathetic "struggle strategy" of yours right now."

".........."

"What a joke this was. Everyone says you were the strongest trainer..but you're just another obstacle in my way."

Hearing that saddened you a little, almost making you regret what you're about to subject this hapless champion to next...but you will end this one way or another.

You couldn't tolerate his arrogance any longer.

Your final Pokémon's appearance completely wiped the smug look on Kieran's face, as his eyes widened upon seeing a Pikachu in the most horrific condition--one that didn't look anything like the others on your team.

Its fur was totally white with a layer of frost coating it; and it was missing a leg, ear, and part of its tail...as though something had torn and chewed at various sections of its body. And its wounds exposed its muscle and bones, yet somehow it was still able to stand on its own.

But the most terrifying thing was its lack of a cutesy smile typical to its species. Instead there was this creepy grin stretching from ear-to-nonexistent-ear. And it just stared at him with those pitch black eyes, giggling.

His hands shook with genuine fear, before he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Yet both of you were still there when he looked, ready for battle.

Suddenly he didn't feel so high and mighty right now. His heart pounded and his throat felt dry, eyes stinging from the cold.

He felt as though he wasn't supposed to be here.

He shouldn't be here.

He didn't want to do this anymore.

He wanted to go home.

It was so cold...

But he needed to finish this.

"I-Incineroar, use-"

"Pain Split."

'Wait...Pikachu can learn that?!' His eyes widened in shock, but at the same time he was relieved you finally did something new-

Only for your Pikachu to screech and attack his Pokémon with that move, biting into its arm and causing the latter to roar in agony. He could only watch, horrified as blood splattered all across the snow.

By the time he managed to recall Incineroar, it had already fainted from the attack.

However your Pikachu did, too, laying among the other bodies of your Pokémon...who he now realized were in fact deceased. He could barely see them since the snow covered most of them.

But the morbid images would never leave his head.

He still didn't understand.

What have you become?

What are you?

"It's over."

Looking up, Kieran screamed upon seeing your uniform now covered in blood, the frostbite having eaten away at most of your flesh. You looked like some zombie, with exposed bones and hollowed eyes much like your Pokémon--gazing at him with that same sadness they held.

Now it finally hit him.

All this time, he wasn't battling some BB League ex-champion. He was battling the victim of that weather malfunction the four were talking about.

The one who never made it down this mountain alive.

You were already dead...and wanted him to suffer the same fate as you.

He blinked, and you were suddenly in front of him, grabbing the front of his jacket with two hands and staring at him. And all he could do was stare back in terror, unable to look away.

"Destiny B-"

"NO!! NO!! STOP!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Screaming as loud as he could, he lost all composure as he tried pushing you off of him, hitting your jaw and dislocating the bone.

You dropped him to the ground, and he sobbed, wrapping his arms over his head as he begged you to leave him be.

"L-Let me go home, please pleasepleaseplease-"

"Kieran?!!!"

With a sharp gasp, he looked up to hear the voice of Lacey, before seeing her, Carmine, and the other Elite Four members rushing towards him. They were all bundled-up, with Crispin's Magmortar and Heat Rotom keeping them warm.

"It's [y/n]!!" He shouted, pointing to where you stood. "Th-They..they're right there!!"

The group stopped, appearing confused as they looked all around, seeing nothing but snow.

"Wh-Why are you all standing around?!"

"Kieran..there's no one here except us." Crispin muttered.

".....huh?" Blinking, he looked back and realized you have disappeared entirely, not leaving behind a single trace of your presence. There weren't any blood or footprints in the snow, nor any frozen bodies of Pokémon lying in it.

It's like he was battling a hallucination all along.

But it felt so real..

"But I....I-I..."

"Only you would be insane enough to risk your life coming up here," Carmine huffed, kneeling down. But as soon as she saw the true terror in her little brother's eyes, her heart sank..wondering what he witnessed. "Kiki..?"

"...i-it was them...[y/n]..." He mumbled shakily, his arm still stuck in a pointing position. Tears streaked down his face, the cold wind making his cheeks sting like hell. "Th-They were right here..and...and they...they tried to-"

"Listen, I get you really wanted to meet them and battle them...but they're not here. They're long gone. Now c'mon. We need to get you off this stupid mountain." Picking him up was no problem for Carmine, given how he was light as a feather. He just clung to her, allowing himself to be carried on her back.

The four were astonished that he actually made the journey up here, with Drayton wondering if he was really that desperate to battle you that he came up here, realized you weren't around, and just...made up a scenario in which he wins anyways.

Instead, the poor kid seemed traumatized by whatever he saw...or believed he saw.

After making it safely down the mountain and getting treated--alongside his Incineroar--Kieran's detailed account of what happened led to another rescue team heading up the summit, just in case they may have missed something.

They had fire types and ground type tirelessly shoveling through the snow, digging in the exact spot where he battled you, but there were no signs of you anywhere.

Even so..he refused to believe it, and still had reoccurring nightmares of that encounter and how it might've ended if the others didn't show up in time.

Soon enough he got back on-track to training his Pokémon and becoming stronger everyday, but other trainers noticed how carefully he treaded throughout the Polar Biome..

And how he avoided going anywhere near the tallest mountain in that zone.

For he believed you were still up there, waiting for him.

[ihavetoomanyocsdealwithit]

Azul pt 1

The fact that he waited until the next day to find her was a bit surprising, but that didn’t make it any less scary when Floyd Leech catches Yuu outside class.  

“Shrimpy.” his tone is flat. The hand around the collar of her uniform isn’t tight, but it’s clear she isn’t going anywhere. “With me. Now.”  

“Ah shit, he’s actually pissed.” Ace mutters, stiff beside her.  

“Floyd, how you doing?” Yuu smiles. Nope, definitely not in the mood.  

“Wait,” Deuce puts a hand on her wrist. “We still have class. She'll get in trouble if she skips.”  

“It’s not skipping, Azul can write a note as house warden.” He picks her up again, no more than a ragdoll. “If you pull the same trick you did yesterday, it’s not going to be pretty. Nobody has escaped my squeeze before, and we aint starting with you.” He bares his teeth, tapping her nose with his free hand.  

Yuu can’t recognize if he’s genuinely angry or just annoyed with her escape. She isn’t willing to test it, and she knows she is too tired to do so again. Mary had already warned her off of doing so outside of Ramshackle for now, until she got used to Underground magic.  

“Um, I’ll see you guys later?” she waves, hoping that this will be quick at least.  

He doesn’t put her down once, even when she politely asks. He isn’t quiet though. He seems more annoyed that he had to pull in Idia to provide camera footage that she actually disappeared and didn’t just decide not to get her. The twins don’t seem to enjoy arguing with Azul, though the lines look fuzzy from the outside.  

The bubble always feels odd going down, and then the coolness of Octavinelle settles in. It isn’t always a pleasant feeling when you are warmblooded, but maybe that’s why she rarely sees any Octavinelle student without a jacket on?  

Azul’s office is the same as ever, clean down to the last dust speck on the nearly excessive bookshelves surrounding the whole room. The soft glow of the aquariums below offer a nice touch that she’s always enjoyed though, and finds it difficult to not relax when looking at them. 

 He sits at his desk with the strange fishbone pen scribbling over a softly glowing contract. The laptop, some type of the line model probably, almost stands out like a sore thumb amongst the antique designs.  

It better not be for me, she thinks.  

“Thank you Floyd,” Yuu mumbles as her feet finally touch the ground.  

“Ah, Shrimpy gonna be all grumpy now?” He teases, pulling at her cheek.  

“Floyd, please.” Azul says, almost smiling at her swatting hands doing absolutely nothing. “We have business to discuss.”  

“Yea, I never got a text yesterday, so it must not have been that important.” Yuu crosses her arms.  

“Oh, that’ll come later. I am far more interested in what this was. A unique magic perhaps?”  

He turns his laptop monitor to show the footage of her turning into glitter, her wide eyes the last thing to literally blink out of existence.  

“Even if I had a good idea what happened, I wouldn’t tell you. It was a fluke, I haven’t been able to do it since.” Half of it was true at least. She wasn’t able to recreate the distance, though it may be the desire just wasn’t strong enough.  

“Ah, no need to be coy.” Azul smiles, the polite one that makes her eye twitch. “If your magic base is expanding that’s something to celebrate! How about a drink and dessert, on the house of course.”  

“What do you want?” she asks bluntly. “Nothing comes for free with you.”  

“Prefect!” he places a hand on his chest, “Do you think me so low as to not celebrate my friend's accomplishments?”  

“Are we friends?” Yuu snaps, “I didn’t know that friends made each other homeless.”  

His mouth snaps shut with a click. A huff of air behind ear reminds her that Floyd is still behind her, not at his usual spot beside Azul’s desk. Making sure to guard the exit?  

“I-” Azul takes a deep breath, twirling the neck of the fishbone pen before carefully setting it inside the holder, putting a lid on the ink bottle. “I’ll admit, not my best moment.”  

He sighs, walking around to the front of the desk and leaning against the ledge.  

“Ms. Yuu, you clearly have an expanding magical core, which is wonderful. I congratulate you on effort and achievements. But it’s clearly powerful magic.” He adjusts his gloves, avoiding her eyes. “I, of all people, understand powerful magic without a medium to balance it out. We both know what it looks like when there are...no guidelines.” 

Azul was capable of his spell without the contracts. The contracts are what allowed him to keep his sanity and mind. His step father had been the one to teach him and help, the best gift he had ever received from him truly. But there was something addictive in the power, and to see Yuu overblot, even by accident? 

“I...I do apologize for my transgressions in the past.” Even Floyd raises his eyebrows at him. “I’ll admit that I did not think of the repercussions of my actions as I was self-assured in my own victory. And, at the time, it was the only thing that mattered.”  

There are some deals that you prevent from happening, for the sake of his own skin of course.  

“I have teachers that are helping me.” Yuu relents, “Though I understand your concerns better now. If, and it’s a big if, I need help, I will...actually consider your offer?” 

He laughs, something a little softer than his usual one. “Well, as a show of good faith.” He pulls out a small metal piece from his pocket, “Take this. A representation of our benevolence, guided by the Seawitch and her two beloved eels.” 

It’s a simple band, two dark eels wrapped around a small nautilus shell. It was in the style she preferred, something elegant but minimal. It didn’t look like a cheap tourist thing either, she could feel that the shell was smooth, thin but strong. It wouldn't shatter easily at least.  

“Are these actual eel scales?” she asks, feeling the bumpy texture.  

“Why yes!” he smiles, “I thought something handmade would be of preference. You do seem to prefer things of a more sentimental variety.”  

She huffs, raising her pant leg to wear it as an anklet instead.  

“Alright Azul, I’ll choose to forgive, but I won’t forget. Afterall, forgetting how powerful you are would just be stupid for me.”  

A surprised huff leaves him, but he allows her to leave at last. Jade meets her at the door before she can even turn the knob, Floyd staying behind.  

“Huh,” he mutters, “Went better than expected.” Floyd stretches his body out, small pops along his spine that wouldn’t be there in a human body. “You get what you needed out of it?”  

“Enough, though not all.” Azul nods. “We do need her to trust us, and if that means giving away a token to show good faith, it’ll be worth the small energy exchange.”  

“Also allows us to keep an eye on her.” Floyd adds, rubbing the small spot along his upper arm. They were eel scales. Specifically, theirs. Azul wouldn’t be able to see through her eyes the way he could with his or Jade’s, but with a sprinkle of their scales and a small sample of all three of their magics in the shell itself, they’d always be able to have a vague idea of where she was at least. With the way she was progressing in and out of class, she was becoming a threat.  

And the best way to neutralize a threat was to make them a friend.  

“It’s for her own good.” Azul goes to sit back down. He thinks it is for her good at least, and it’s not totally invasive. “Besides, I would like to know more about these teachers of hers. Perhaps they are looking for more students.”  

Floyd shakes his head, making sure that Azul has a drink before heading out himself. He can’t afford to fail this next test if he wants to stay in the advanced classes. At least the advanced classes aren’t as boring as the main ones, but damn if they don’t test his patience some days.  

[jellyclogs]

hi, brooke here! <3

could i request ace helping the reader, who is having a migraine? I'm currently struggling with one myself and that would be much comfort!

feel free to be as creative as you'd like 🐝✨

not gonna lie I didn't see this ask till yesterday sorry about not replying sooner. and as some one who deals with chronic migraines, I'm sorry you've been going through it. I hope they have been getting better and I hope you enjoy the story.

Word count 1.3k

trigger warnings: Migraine, cussing, mentions of panic attacks

A Migraine

I could feel it since this morning. Just a dull ache in the back of my head. I knew it was only a matter of time before a migraine decided to strike me. I managed to get through my normal daily chores before my vision began to blur. The only reason id been able to complete my chores was because it was all muscle memory. If id had to put any real thought into it I'd be more than a little lost. I couldn't focus on anything and my thoughts were flowing like syrup through frozen pipes.

I stepped away from the laundry and closed my eyes. Yeah even with the excessive amounts of ibuprofen and acetaminophen I had taken I needed to go lay down. I turned to Banshee, she had been the only other female on the spades with me. After Pops just kinda claimed Ace as one of his we followed Ace to the whitebeard pirates. “I'm sorry to leave you when we still have work to do but if I don't go lay down I think my brain might selfdistrict.”

Banshee turned to me, “Sweetheart it's not a problem. You've looked like shit all morning I was wondering when you'd tap out.” she smiled at me. “But didn't think asking why you look like a walking corpse would help nun.” we’d been crew members for years, she knew my struggles with migraines. “Plus it's not like this is a hangover and you did it to yourself,” she added.

“Yeah nope, definitely not a hangover, and by god I feel like one.” I gave her a pathetic smile, “But still, I owe you one.” I turned to walk to the door my hand on the wall as I walked. My head was spinning. Though I knew could handle a little tumble I didn't see the need to worry the crew.

“Don't worry about it. And do you want me to walk you back to your dorm? How steady are you on your feet?” she asked in a motherly tone.

“I'll be fine But thanks Banshee.” I waved her by as I left the room. I didn't need to take her away from the work that was left.

I picked my way threw the ship trying to avoid the louder parts. Sadly my room was right next to the mess hall, no matter what time it was the mess hall was always packed full and loud enough to make the floor boards of the ship shake. I winced knowing I'd have to walk past the mess hall's doors to get to my room. The noise would be loud enough to take my balance completely away and my vision would be fucked. I braced myself for a moment, checking one last time if the way was clear before, closing my eyes, and rushing to pass the doors.

I slammed straight into someone. Someone who was much steadier on their feet. Before I was sent to the floor a set of hands grabbed my shoulders and stopped me from falling. “You ok?” Ace called over the noise of the mess hall. His grip on my shoulders was firm but not harsh.

My hands came to cling onto his arms. The noise was overwhelming, like I'd thought My balance was gone and my vision went with it. I couldn't quite manage to speak so I just shook my head no. I wasn't hurt but I definitely wasn't ok.

Ace pulled me over to my room’s door.  Helping me inside, “Is this a panic attack or a migraine?” he asked in a soft calming voice barely above a whisper. I couldn't help but smile at the question. Seeing as my head was a box of fucked up, and either were possible (plus both could take my speech away)  it was a reasonable question.

I took a moment to take a deep breath and take in the quiet of my room, “Migraine.” I croaked out. With the blare of the mess hall gone some of my brain power was coming back.

“Have you taken anything for it?” he asked sounding slightly relieved. I don't blame him. Migraines were easier to deal with than panic attacks. He helped me over to my bed helping me sit down.

“More than Marco would be happy with,” I joked, giving him a smile hoping it would calm him down slightly. I could feel the way his heart was racing well he was holding me. Ace was good at keeping a calm face when he was panicked, but his heart always gave him away. With his tough exterior, it might surprise people how much of a softy he is when it comes to his crew.  He feels helpless and panicky when the people he cares about are hurt.

“Ok since I'm not a doctor I won't scold you for that,” he sighed but I could hear the smile in his voice. He was calming down now that he knew what was wrong and how to help, “how about water?” he asked walking over to my curtains and drawing them close.

“I could use a glass.” I shifted from sitting on my bed to lying down. If it were anyone else I might have just said I was fine, but with Ace I couldn't.  With ace, I knew he’d feel better if he was helping.

“Well then ill be back.” he paused at the doorway looking over his shoulder, “Have you eaten?” he asked.

“Yes I have,” I answered my voice muffled, I had a pillow over my face to block out more light. Not that I was looking but I could feel the questioning look he was giving me, “I had breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and orange juice… not lying, promises.” I grumbled.

“Just checking.” he chuckled, and then I heard the door open and close. A few moments later I heard the door open again. Then there were footsteps crossing my room and someone sitting down on the edge of my bed. “You gonna sit up or just spill water all over yourself?” Ace asked in a slightly teasing tone.

“Sit up,” I mumbled sitting up and leaning my head against one of his shoulders.

“Good.” he brought a cup of water to my lips. He let me grab hold of the water cup before letting go. If I was feeling less shitty I might have enjoyed how close he was to me. He waited for me to finish drinking the water before asking, “You want heat or ice on the back of your neck?”

“Heat.” some heat on the back of my neck would definitely help. It would soothe my shoulders and hopefully convince my brain to calm down some. I wondered if he'd grabbed both an ice pack and a hot water bottle.

“You got it sunshine,” I could hear mischief in his voice but I wasn't sure why. Ace wasn't the type to mess with someone if they weren’t in good shape. Before I could ask what he had up his sleeve he was lying down in my bed with me, his arm my new pillow.

For a moment I just froze then I decided, fuck it. I shifted slightly to get comfortable. I was about to bitch that his arm wasn't going to be hot enough when I realized it was. “Guess this is one way to use your devil fruit.” I hummed.

“You want me to get you something else?” he asked in a soft hum. I could feel the hum reverberate in his chest, it was a pleasant sensation.

“Think you can stay here for a while?” I asked almost meekly. If I was being honest with myself it felt really nice to be cuddled up to Ace.

“Yeah I can stay here as long as you need me to,” he replied snuggling into me a little bit.

“Then no I don't want something else,” I closed my eyes, ready for a nap.

“You got it,” Ace answered letting me fall asleep on his arm.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps Rose Tinted Glasses It's been three months since I made a post thanking this community for being a place for me to share my love of BL.

And since then, every day I feel a little bit more comfortable here.

This place is so special to me for so many reasons and the fact that I found it is a small miracle. I was talking with my friend Neely about something BL related and they told me that they think I'm doing much better since I came here. So thanks again.

I was never a part of any online fandom. And before BL I never really felt like I was missing something. Maybe because I always found someone irl that I could freak out about whatever I was watching I never really felt the need to go look.

And the people here are exceptionally kind. Before, I made a point to never engage much online, except for certain support groups, because of the hate that sometimes exists in certain spaces. So I was very much surprised by the kind humans that exist in this bl fandom in this corner of the internet.

Also. There is some serious brilliant people here. Look giffing is not easy, it takes a long time, sometimes you spend so much time with a set only to hate it by the end and never posting it. And sometimes you post something and you're really proud and crickets. And sometimes you post it just so it doesn't go to waste and all of a sudden it explodes. It's all part of the magic.

I keep my sets pretty simple so I'm in awe of how some people make these beautiful art pieces with layers and colouring and typography. It's incredible and I applaud your creativity and patience.

Speaking of brilliance, I'm constantly in awe of the meta writers. That shit is not easy.

It takes way longer than we think, to make it neat and readable, adding gifs or shots to illustrated a point, sometimes wasting so much time finding the gif you want in the mess that is the gif search (I understand it now, cause yesterday I was on the hunt and it would've been quicker to make the damn gifs), and reviewing it before posting, changing it in the process, sometimes leaving it in drafts because the idea is not completed. I'm tired just thinking about this. I'm not able to do that. Sure I can talk for hours about this stuff but actually organize my ideas into a coherent point of view and writing it down. Nope. Not me. So bravo meta writers. I applaud you.

And of course all the people that share the stuff that really matters. Like the colours, the wardrobe, the places we see, the news about what's coming, language nuances, pictures of the pretty people in sometimes ridiculous or beautiful outfits, sometimes the pretty people before shirts were invented, and some of the funniest commentary I ever encountered.

I don't wanna single people out by tagging them because truly there are way too many. So I just want to thank some people that helped me navigate this place and made this time so enjoyable. First and foremost. @twig-tea You were the first person I talked to here and you were so kind and patient with me and my awkwardness and lack of knowledge of how this place works. She also writes great meta and is brilliant and everyone should be following her. @lurkingshan because of the Sahara-Sensei post that you tagged me in and made me feel so seen. @pharawee because IFYLITA just wouldn't have been the same without your sets. @respectthepetty because she helped get the colour coded subs right and she appreciates the bokeh in all its glory. @itsallaboutbl for screaming with me in portuguese. @mikuni14 Because she's been so incredible kind to me. @iguessitsjustme because of many reasons. And If I ever reblogged anything from you, consider yourself tagged in this post. All of you are amazing. And finally...

@blmpff for a lot but mostly for the most unexpected and incredible moment I experienced in this short time. The day that a bird took over my dash. Khun Feathers was such a treat and this masterpiece was the highlight of the day.

image by @blmpff It's been a wonderful year and I look forward to see what happens tomorrow. Wishing you all a happy new year!💜

[thefuseoftemptation]

—WHY, JUST WHY

‘Of every other time you’ve been there, why is it you’re just now seeing what Eddie wears to sleep.’

EDDIE MUNSON X GN!READER

WARNING(S): cussing, brief suggestion (if you really really look), and that's it. Just them being childish. NOT PROOFREAD.

—

It was late, really late, and you and Eddie were just now getting ready for bed. Nothing uncommon since it was something that you guys often went through, never being able to shut your eyes at a normal hour.

Some if not all of the time, you’d be the one to tucker out first, and shortly after, Eddie would. And with that, went you not knowing some of the things he got up to. It was far and few between though when that happened.

But when your guy comes through the door from the restroom, ready for bed with his feet still clothed…..that’s when you really begin to question.

Why was he wearing those?

Eddie was just about to chuck himself on the mattress when your bare feet stopped him from doing so. Stretched out so they were keeping him a few steps away from the cushion.

“Uh, why are you still wearing those?” You question, brow lifted and you looked at his feet that shuffled in spot.

“They’re socks, have you not heard of them? You wear them on your–”

“Well, I know that. And it wasn’t a ‘what’ question, it was a ‘why’?”

He was such a little shit. Why couldn’t he just answer something normally, without any tone or remark.

“I still don’t know what you’re on ‘bout.” He shrugged, nudging your legs out of the way so he could get in bed. It had you sitting up, and looking at him.

“Why are you wearing those? To bed.” You ask, gesturing, trying to clear up what he hadn’t been getting. What’s not to get though, who the fuck wears socks to bed? 

“But I always wear them.” He said it so simply, like it was something to be used to.

Now it was your turn. “Generally, sure. Everyone wears them, but I’m talking as of now. Here.”

Your guy was staring at you as if you hadn’t seen him ever put socks on before. It was a look he’d expect if you ever caught him trying to pull something on you.

“I know that, m’saying I always wear them to bed.” 

“S’cuse me?!” That was new. You’d never seen him wear socks to bed. Ever. At least from what you know of….

By then, Eddie was already under the sheets, lying down, while you were still sitting up eying him– not looking to shut your eyes until you knew they were gone.

“Nuh uh, nope. Take them off.” You said, as your head shook.

“Well, if we're looking to go there–” You cut off his suggestion with a nudge.

“Not the time, and s’not what I was referring to.”

Eddie huffed, not budging to take them off like you put. He just crossed his arms and stared back at you.

“No. You never seemed to have a say in those other times I wore them before, so why now?”

“When?!” You pulled the vowel out as your head tipped forward. Cause honestly, when was that?!

“Well, there’s yesterday and then the other week…and then there was that time when I slept over at yours–”

His words had you fucked up. They went muffled as you were too in thought trying to think back to what he was talking about. Why couldn’t you remember seeing him wearing socks? And in your own bed too? Ugh this guy. 

“–it was when you were sleeping that time…” and there it was. 

“You’re telling me that you have been wearing socks to bed all this time?” 

“Uh huh.” Eddie thought it through. Maybe not this time but every other, sure. He knew how you were and what you would say, what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you.

But as of now, well, the truth is out so…

“Oh, I see. Well I’m up and m’not looking to get some sleep with someone who still wears socks to bed. So either, take them off or I’m leaving.” That was a lie, somewhat, you were feeling yourself getting sleepy and weren’t about to go all the way back to yours this late. And over something as little as this but you weren’t going to let him know that.

Eddie’s mouth fell at your utterance, his hand going to his chest as if you just hurt him. But that still didn’t keep him from not listening.

“Bye then, be sure to shut the door on your way out.” And with that, he turned over.

You knew he was bluffing just as much as he knew you were. But you guys weren’t about to let the other have the say, so neither of you budged.

It had only been a few minutes until you just threw yourself back down, pulled the sheets over, and tried not to think about how your guy was wearing socks in bed.

But when he kept nudging your legs with his clothed feet, you just about upped and left. You could feel the way his mouth was curling up, satisfied with himself. He knew he was getting to you. His arms inching their way around you before you pushed yourself further from him.

“No.”

Eddie huffed once more, shuffled around, and then literally rolled himself on top of you.

Now, feeling bare feet rubbing yours.

“M’sorryyyyy.” 

You stopped yourself from scoffing, only muttering a ‘shut up,’ as you wrapped your arms around him and closed your eyes.

“Still not going to stop wearing them to bed though…”

This guy.

—

A/N: feedback and reblogs appreciated.

[punsmaster69]

4/NOV/20XX

[It's Sans' handwriting. It's a bit messy at points, appearing as if the book was on an unsteady surface.]

heya.

been a minute, huh?

a lotta minutes, actually.

about two day's worth of 'em.

papyrus finally ungrounded me from writing.

got my phone back, too.

on the condition that i, uh.

stop setting alarms.

won't go into detail about it.

besides, i gotta talk about 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆, right?

——

really do start a lot of these entries with 'woke up in x place, with x thing'.

....

it's another one like that.

this time, next to tori.

incredibly, i woke up before her.

the blanket over us looks like one of papyrus' spares.

haven't checked the time, but it must be early b——

[The line runs off the side of the page.]

....

hold on, i'm only able to use one hand, and this thing keeps slipping off my lap.

as much as i don't want to, gonna see if i can move my hand without waking her up.

——

[The writing returns to normal.]

ok. good now.

now that my nausea's subsided some, i realize i'm pretty hungry. but..

don't wanna move from this any more.

...

since she's still asleep.

——

"SANS, I-"

"(shh.)"

"(OH, SORRY.)"

"(I'M LEAVING TO TRAIN WITH UNDYNE. ACTUALLY, UNDYNE SAID SHE JUST WANTS TO TALK TODAY.)"

"(WHICH ISN'T TRAINING.)"

"(BESIDES THE POINT. I'M LEAVING, AND MS. TORIEL PROMISED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU TODAY!")

"(i need a babysitter?)"

"(IT'S FOR YOUR SAFETY!!)"

"(YOU WERE... STILL SORT OF WOBBLY, YESTERDAY.)"

"(DO YOU NEED ANYTHING BEFORE I LEAVE?)"

"(nope, i'm good-)"

"(actually. could you hand me what i didn't finish eating last night?)"

"(you don't need to heat it up.)"

"(BUT-)"

"(paps, you should probably go before undyne gets mad at you, too.)"

"(besides, i like cold stew.)"

"(...ALRIGHT. IF YOU SAY SO.)"

after handing me a spoon and my half-bowl of beef stew, papyrus nodded goodbye and dashed out the door.

——

.....

it's real quiet.

not used to being up as early as papyrus usually leaves for.

just me and... sleeping tori.

she must be comfortable.

our couch 𝙞𝙨 pretty nice.

——

couldn't help but wonder who's watching tori's kids, so i messaged frisk.

in response, i got a picture of grillby in tori's kitchen. he's handing flowey something.

at the bottom of the picture was frisk, blurry and way too close to the camera.

"why're you so close"

they then sent a picture of them even closer, equally blurry.

i sent a blurry close-up back.

"Why are YOU so close?"

"yeah"

"Yeah."

"cool"

"Cool."

that kid's going places.

——

"Your influence is rubbing off on me, it seems. I am usually one to be up sooner!"

tori jolted up.

"Ah! I did not mean to keep you in one place this whole time."

"not like i was going anywhere."

i wanted to lean back against her, for some reason.

...

nope.

"What is it that you do all day, when you are stuck inside like this?"

"sleep."

"...I think we have done plenty of that."

"Surely that is not all?"

"me and paps usually play games or something."

"been getting real into this puzzle one."

"do you wanna play something?"

"I am not very good at games..."

"i'll pick somethin' easy."

——

"This is turning out to be quite the house!"

"if you ignore the dirt floor."

"..And the lack of proper opening doors."

"at least we have windows."

"..holes for windows."

"Which one is your room?"

"this one."

"..You have made your walls dirt, as well."

"only the finest of materials in this house."

"Of course."

"here, i made a bed for you."

"Oh! Do we need to sleep in this one? I think we may have missed a few nights."

"nah, it's for setting your respawn point."

"...?"

"when we die, we'll be here instead of really far away."

"I see."

she stared at the bed.

"....."

"It is just the one?"

"mine's in my inventory."

"Please, place it down! Set your, 'respawn point,' in the house with me."

i placed it in the corner of my dirt room.

"....."

she moved hers into there as well.

"........"

"What? Surely you did not expect me to sleep in the living room."

"...side by side?

"The dual bed looks much more comfortable, does it not?"

"i can make you another one, if you want."

"........"

"No."

"This arrangement is good, I think."

"Space efficient!"

"....ok."

——

"Sans."

"yep?"

"Why are there holes everywhere?"

"avoiding death."

"You did not fix them."

"i'll get around to it."

"....."

"Nevermind."

"nevermind?"

"I am tempted to change our living arrangement."

"this poor dog would grow up in a broken home."

"You are its father now too?"

"you're its father?"

"Ha! Sure. Yes, I am the father."

"......"

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU EVEN DOING?"

"O-Oh! Papyrus!"

"didn't hear you come in."

"YES, WELL, YOU SEEMED QUITE OCCUPIED WITH.. WHATEVER THIS IS."

"I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT."

"I'M GOING TO GET CHANGED, AND THEN I'LL BE RIGHT BACK DOWN."

i waited until paps was fully in his room.

then i ran inside, took my bed, and placed it a space away.

tori ran her character up to me (with the default skin) and punched me in my (also-default) face.

"ow."

"It is in the game!"

"would you punch me if you could?"

"No!"

"I would do this."

and she moved her character closer, nearly face-to-face with mine.

struggling to use the hotbar, she eventually threw a flower at me.

silly, sure.

but it..

made me really happy.

....

wish it didn't.

——

"Papyrus is here to watch you now, so.."

"...going home?"

"Unfortunately."

"THANK YOU FOR KEEPING AN EYE ON HIM, MS. TORIEL."

"Of course. It was a pleasure."

"Sans, thank you for playing with me. I had a lot of fun!"

"Even if we did not actually accomplish very much."

"come by anytime you wanna play again."

——

she messaged me to ask if i ended up moving the bed back or not.

....

more space efficient like that, anyway.

[iztarshi]

Fandom: tmnt 1987

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday and starts by listing to himself the reasons why that’s nonsense.

1) If he was sold at the legal size of six inches then he was likely anywhere from two to seven years old at the time, it’s been six or seven years since then, he’s been alive for fourteen years at most. But Splinter decided they were adults this year and Leonardo decided that meant these should be their eighteenth birthdays, and Michelangelo was excited to throw eighteenth birthday parties and here they all are.

2) It’s not his birthday, it’s an arbitrary day Splinter picked for him.

3) What does being eighteen even mean for a turtle? If it was twenty-one maybe it would mean Leonardo would let them have some champagne, but eighteen? He could vote, if turtles had the vote. He could enlist, which, hah, nope, he’s been fighting for years already he’s not upgrading to an actual war. Anyway, he doesn’t think the new Don’t Ask Don’t Tell laws would cover someone not asking if you’re a turtle.

At this point in the list, Michelangelo comes to wake him up and he puts his head under the covers.

“Wake up, dude, it’s your birthday!” Michelangelo announces.

“I don’t want a birthday, I want more sleep,” Raphael says.

“But I made breakfast…”

The blanket provides excellent defense from Michelangelo’s puppy dog eyes, so Raphael is able to say, “I don’t care,” and listen to Michelangelo walk away no matter how dragging and sad he makes his footsteps.

4) Why is Raphael’s birthday about making Michelangelo happy? Raphael would be much happier if everyone just forgot it.

Stewing on this keeps him busy until Leonardo comes to wake him up with a pat on the shoulder. “It’s nearly lunchtime,” he says. “You missed training.”

“Thanks for the birthday present,” Raphael answers. But he can’t lie in bed all day, and he’s getting hungry, so he does get up.

Technically the party is this evening, but clearly Michelangelo can’t contain his excitement. There are banners and balloons, there are party foods mostly consisting of a variety of mini-pizzas. There’s music. Great, this is going to last all afternoon. At least the food looks good.

“Happy Birthday!” Michelangelo tells him.

Raphael rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you said.”

“Have some pizza,” Donatello suggests, handing him a plate of his favourites. At least the food is good.

The food that evening is good too, the cake is tasty enough Raphael’s glad he didn’t find a way to ruin it. The others let him pick the channel when they watch TV and shrug off how obviously he’s sulking his way through his birthday. So, that’s nice, at least, even if the whole thing is just grating like sandpaper on his shell.

It’s still a huge relief to fall into bed and forget about birthdays for another year.

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday and doesn’t realise this until Michelangelo says, “Wake up, dude, it’s your birthday!”

He opens his eyes and blinks at the other turtle. “No, it’s not. That was yesterday.”

Michelangelo rolls his eyes. “Come on, I made breakfast.”

“No seriously,” Raphael says. “You had better not be trying to make me celebrate my birthday twice in a row because I’m not doing it, Michelangelo.”

He follows Michelangelo into the kitchen where there are pancakes because Michelangelo has been branching out a bit from pizza recently. Leonardo is eating one with maple syrup and chopped olives.

“Happy Birthday!” he and Donatello chorus.

“Not you too,” Raphael moans. “Come on, wasn’t yesterday enough?”

Donatello frowns. “What happened yesterday?”

“My birthday, unfortunately.”

“Quite joking, dude, it’s not funny,” Michelangelo says.

“Who’s joking?” Raphael answers. “You guys are the ones screwing around.”

“It could be a minor time anomaly,” Donatello says, thoughtfully. “With all the time travel we’ve had in the last few years the time-space continuum might take a while to stabilise.”

“Seriously?” Raphael demands. “It’s seriously my birthday.”

“It seriously is,” Leonardo says, so earnestly that Raphael gives up on it being a joke.

“Great,” Raphael says. “So what do we do about it?”

Donatello shrugs. “Just carry on as normal. Having to relive one day isn’t so bad.”

“I’m not celebrating my birthday twice in a row.”

Michelangelo’s face crumples. “I was up all night preparing…”

Raphael caves like he pretty much knew he would. “Fine, fine.” He supposes he can endure one more birthday.

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday and he’s not even that surprised. As soon as Michelangelo cheerfully announces, “Wake up, dude, it’s your birthday!” he stomps into the living area to find Donatello.

“You said this time anomaly would be over by today,” he accuses Donatello, who is biting into a pancake.

“I. What?” Donatello says.

“I’m stuck in a time loop, this is the third time I’ve had my birthday, and I’m not putting up with it. You said it was a time anomaly caused by all our time travelling visitors, so fix it.”

Donatello stands up, looking at Raphael as if he’s suddenly much more interesting than the pancakes. “Come into my lab and I’ll see what I can do.”

After some prodding with various technological devices, Donatello hmms thoughtfully and goes to rummage around in the back of his lab.

“Aha!” he says. “My time stopping device.”

“That can break the time loop?”

“Techinically, no. It can only freeze one person or object in time. But if the entire world is resetting every time you reach midnight - or an arbitrary time somewhere between 11 pm and 9 am - then having you frozen ought to prevent it. The world will be able to carry on as normal.”

“Uh. Th-that does not sound great for me.” Raphael starts backing away nervously. He was not expecting to be sacrificed to save the world from a time anomaly when he asked for Donatello’s help!

“Oh, I’d unfreeze you the next day. Once time has moved on it should be fine to bring you back into the timestream.”

Raphael sighs in relief. “You have an inimitable bedside manner, Donatello. Let’s do that, then.”

“You don’t want to wait until after the party?” Donatello asks. There’s a teasing gleam in his eye so Raphael doesn’t bother answering that one.

“Haha,” Raphael says. “Get on with it.”

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday already knowing exactly what day it is.

This time Donatello tries sending him to a different dimension which would have led to a really nice visit with the Neutrinos if Michelangelo didn’t insist on coming along and telling everyone it’s Raphael’s birthday. The Neutrinos do know how to party and if Michelangelo is the one who’s really having a good time, well. At least someone is.

This time they’re all still up at midnight and Raphael is sits in a flying car with a tremendous view over the biggest city in dimension X nervously watching the clock on the dashboard tick its way up.

-

Raphael wakes up in bed on his eighteenth birthday.

-

By the twelfth loop Donatello is out of ideas and increasingly upset when Raphael answers, “We tried that already,” to everything he suggests. He spends the afternoon and evening crashing furiously around his lab while Michelangelo tries to throw a party for Raphael anyway and Leonardo and Splinter both fret.

-

On the thirteenth loop Raphael doesn’t tell Donatello.

When Michelangelo greets him with, “Wake up, dude, it’s your birthday!” he gets out of bed mechanically.

Nothing feels real at this point. The pancakes look like the ones in adverts where the too perfect syrup is really motor oil. Raphael stares at them and wonders whether he’s doomed to an eternity of seeing these pancakes.

No one notices how out of it he is. They try to cheer him up the same way they did on the first loop, letting him pick the movies — he picks different ones — and not mentioning that he’s quiet and irritable.

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday for the fourteenth time and runs away from home. He has to move fast to be out of the way before Michelangelo comes to wake him up but he does leave a note.

I’m not celebrating my birthday this year. Please leave me alone and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Raphael

Michelangelo’s going to be really upset and they’re all going to worry, especially since he left his turtle comm behind, but it will all be the same tomorrow. Like it never happened at all. So how mean can it be, really?

He watches art house movies, sneaks into a live comedy show, and eats pizza on the roof at just the right distance from a loud concert. For today he can almost forget he’s in a time loop, after all he’s doing something different from yesterday.

-

It would probably take weeks to run out of things to do in New York, even once Raphael’s done the ones that really appeal to him. Even limited to things happening on a single day. It takes four days for him to no longer enjoy doing them alone. Even looping his birthday would be better than never seeing his family.

So he tries bringing them along.

It’s not even hard to convince them. “Hey, there’s a baseball game we can see from some roofs. I want to go.” There’s no argument, it’s his birthday, and they all enjoy a baseball game now and then.

But they bring the birthday with them. Not the banners, or the cake, or the food, but something less tangible. Everyone wants to talk about his birthday more than they want to talk about the game. Chatting about the past year, about the upcoming year, teasing him about past birthdays. Michelangelo sneaks cotton candy and crackerjack from the concessions stand and leaves money for it. Raphael is offered first pick and the others watch to see if he enjoys the snacks. Why does he hate that so much?

By the time they get home for the party dinner Raphael is snippy and sulking. He refuses to eat any cake.

Why did he miss these guys so badly, again?

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday for the nineteenth time and refuses to get out of bed. Michelangelo’s cheery wake up call is ignored and when Leonardo comes to shake him awake for lunch he just moans and vanishes into his shell.

Leonardo sits down and rubs his shell through the covers. “Are you not feeling well?”

“No,” Raphael mutters. Ill isn’t exactly what he’s feeling, but he thinks he deserves the sympathy.

“Try to get a bit more sleep then,” Leonardo says.

Michelangelo brings him soup for lunch instead of pizza and everyone sits around him while he eats. It’s somehow very different from the way they kept making him the centre of attention yesterday and even kind of nice.

Afterwards he curls up under the blanket again and it’s not long before he hears the soft, halting patter of rat feet mixed with the soft thud of a staff.

Splinter sits down on the bed and puts one hand against Raphael’s head to check for a fever. “Can you tell me what hurts, my turtle?” he asks.

Raphael sits up and then wishes he hadn’t when it makes him taller than Splinter. He’s always been taller than Splinter — at least since he stopped being palm-sized — but he would have liked to pretend otherwise. Maybe what he needs right now is a pair of big hands prepared to stop him walking his little flippers off the table.

“Uh, it’s not really…” he starts.

Splinter nods. “You are upset about your birthday?”

“No. I mean, yeah, but also I’m in a time loop.” It sounds abrupt and stupid said like that, Raphael groans. “Don’t tell Donatello, he already did his best. I don’t want to burst his bubble by telling him science is not always the answer.”

Splinter is quiet for a long moment and when he speaks it is slowly and thoughtfully. “I assume we were all aware of this at first?”

“Yeah.”

“And in previous loops I left it to Donatello to deal with?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s his thing, right? He said it was a time anomaly caused by all the time travelling lately, but —” Raphael takes a deep breath against the sting of tears. “But why is it just me? I mean, if Donatello’s right and the whole world’s repeating this day again and again without knowing, then maybe I’m the lucky one? But it doesn’t feel like that.”

“Hmm.” Splinter squeezes Raphael’s hands. “Science was never my field, but the mind can affect reality. Remember how I have taught you to reach for one another when meditating?”

“You think that would help?”

“Ah, probably not. But when you do that your feelings of connection to one another allow you to make an impression on the universe.”

“Are you saying I’m doing this to myself.” Raphael jerks away, wrapping his arms around himself.

“I doubt you would have the power to do anything so drastic. But whatever time anomaly is in play, your attitude towards this day may have entangled it with you. Let it go, if you can.”

Splinter pats his head gently and walks out, which, okay. Giving cryptic advice and walking off is sort of Splinter’s thing. It usually does help, in the end, but is this really the time for cryptic advice? Raphael sucks at interpreting it.

Still. He might not understand that whole thing about the universe, but a time loop that’s about you, personally, is the plot of Groundhog Day, right? The key to getting out of the loop is getting it right, living the day the way… he guesses, the way the universe wants you to. Great, he’s being bossed around by the cosmos.

Thinking about it the guy in Groundhog Day spent years in the loop and became a whole different person by the end of it. Raphael doesn’t want that. Sure, he’s a jerk, but he’s… he’s him. If he’s going to grow and change he wants to do it with the other turtles, not alone so he can become worthy of them. He just wants to get this day right quickly so he can go home.

Michelangelo brings him dinner on a tray with a bunch of balloons tied to it. There’s a slice of cake. Raphael nearly bursts into tears.

-

Raphael does everything right. Michelangelo is greeted that morning with equal cheer and compliemented on the pancakes. Leonardo is delighted when Raphael makes no objection to training on his birthday and gives it his all. Reminiscences, teasing, and even questions about the future are greeted without sarcasm. Raphael blows out the candles and wishes for this to be over before eating his piece of cake with a smile.

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday and wonders what he did wrong. Why it wasn’t enough. But that was only one try! He’s got to keep going!

So he does it again. And again.

-

Raphael wakes up on the morning of his eighteenth birthday after five tries at being good and decides that’s clearly not enough. He’s got to be perfect.

So maybe he’s more manic than cheerful when he answers Michelangelo’s wake up call with, “Good morning, my sweet Michelangelo. Breakfast smells absolutely amazing.”

When he greets the others with, “Good morning on this fabulous day!” Donatello gives him a Look. But he can’t let that discourage him! Embarrassment is a small price to pay for tomorrow.

He tells Leonardo that he couldn ’t possibly mind training with such a dedicated teacher. He insists on helping Michelangelo with lunch.

“He didn’t accidentally get hit with that personality changing ray again, did he?” he overhears Donatello asking Leonardo.

“I don’t know. Did you leave it lying around again?” Leonardo asks.

This is what they notice? Raphael thinks. Not him drifting through the day barely speaking. The time he refused to get out of bed they just thought he was ill. But if he’s nice something must really be wrong. Maybe he should use the personality altering ray. Maybe that’s the only shortcut to what the stupid universe seems to want.

Or maybe it doesn’t want anything and he’s only imagining there’s a way out.

-

Raphael wakes up on his eighteenth birthday and takes the day off from being nice. He can try again tomorrow. Or next week. Whenever. The only one it will make any difference to is him.

It’s not like he sets out to be nasty, it’s just a day where he’s not trying to be anything. He says good morning to Michelangelo, but curls back up to sleep until Leonardo wakes him for lunch.

He eats mini-pizzas and picks the movies, but complains that they’re all ones he’s seen.

“I don’t remember seeing the Snail that Slimed Tokyo?” Leonardo says.

“Yeah, me neither,” Michelangelo says.

“I must have watched it without you guys,” Raphael answers. “Definitely seen it, though. It eats the girl in this next scene.”

Michelangelo smacks him with a pillow and it’s worth it.

Everyone disappears shortly before dinner only to reappear and herd him over to the dinner table, set out with all the food Michelangelo cooked and a picture perfect birthday cake in the centre.

“Now it’s time to really get the party started,” Michelangelo enthuses.

“Can we not?” Raphael says, hopelessly. “Just this once, can we pretend it’s not my birthday?”

“Dude, come on, you only turn eighteen once.”

Raphael laughs and it catches in his throat like sandpaper. “Even if that was true,” he says. “Even if that was true. Even if this wasn’t an arbitrary day decided by Splinter and an arbitrary age decided by Leonardo, because our glorious leader is the boss of how old I am now. Even if turning eighteen meant anything to a turtle, if I could buy property, or vote, or, or smoke.”

“You definitely can’t smoke,” Leonardo interjects, alarmed.

“Right, see, there’s something else our fearless leader gets to decide. Even if I could smoke. Or gamble. Or, or, anything else, I still wouldn’t want to celebrate that. I am sick of you guys throwing a party for something I hate! All you want is an excuse for a day you, for some reason, enjoy! It’s selfish and stupid and I don’t even know why I want to be around friends like you. I hate my birthday and I hate all of you. If this party matters so much to you, you can have it without me.”

Raphael remembers his turtle comm can be tracked and throws it into the cake for emphasis before running out.

Stupid, he thinks, curling up against a random chimney pot. That was way overdoing not being nice today. He’s probably made Michelangelo cry.

Not that it’s going to matter. Tomorrow will wipe the slate clean.

Raphael decides to find a clock he can watch, see how long he’s got to wait before he gets the next do over.

It’s about four hours before Raphael is finally watching the clock tick down. He sighs and braces himself for waking up.

The hands meet at the top. The bell chimes. The minute hand moves on.

It is no longer Raphael’s eighteenth birthday and he’s got some apologising to do.

-

Raphael comes back at around half past midnight on the day following his eighteenth birthday to find Michelangelo pacing the floor in tears. He rushes over to grab Raphael’s shoulders and then immediately backs off.

“Sorry,” they both say.

Raphael blinks. “Why are you apologising?”

“For makin’ you celebrate. I didn’t know you hated it that much.”

“I’ve always hated my birthday.” It’s practically a family joke.

“Yeah, but, I shoulda known you really meant it. I just thought you were being grumpy about it, I didn’t know I was makin’ you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” Raphael grabs Michelangelo around the shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “I really don’t. Ugh. I wouldn’t have said that if I’d known it was going to count. It wasn’t meant to matter.”

“Why would it not matter?” Michelangelo sounds horrified.

“Not like that. Would you believe I’ve been in a time loop? It’s been a couple of weeks. Nearly four? I’ve been trying to figure out how to break it but of course it breaks when I’ve just upset everyone and worried you all sick. Splinter said my thoughts were connected to the universe, he didn’t say the universe had it in for me. Although I really should have guessed.”

Michelangelo takes a moment to process that and then he says, “Oh yeah! Everyone is worried sick. I gotta call them,” and takes out his turtle comm. “Guys, you can stop looking, he’s here. Yeah, he’s okay, um, I think.”

Raphael leans over Michelangelo’s shoulder. “I’m fine. And I’m sorry.”

Leonardo says, “We’ll talk when we get home,” and shuts off the communicator.

“Think I’m in for a scolding?” Raphael asks lightly.

“Not if you tell them what you told me,” Michelangelo says. “Being in a time loop would drive anyone nuts.”

Raphael laughs because Michelangelo is so straightforward sometimes. Sure, they’ve all been through a lot of crazy stuff, but he’s still accepted Raphael’s explanation really fast.

“It was really scary, though, you runnin’ off like that,” Michelangelo adds. “Especially when you haven’t seemed like you wanna be part of the team sometimes.”

“You took that seriously?”

“Pretty hard not to when you and Donatello actually left.”

Leonardo and Donatello arrive soon after that, they must have been close by when they got the call, and Raphael explains about the time loop with a rundown of the less embarrassing moments. When he lays it out it doesn’t seem like he’s been through anything that bad. A month of birthdays, hanging out with his family.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it,” Donatello says when he’s finished.

“Uh, hey, don’t do that. Not your fault,” Raphael says. He knows there’s nothing that can really make it okay when Donatello can’t help one of them, but he really wishes something could. “I’m sorry I snapped like that.”

“Do you really not want to be eighteen?” Leonardo asks. “You’re right, I’m the one who decided. It’s not like you have to be.”

“Eh. May as well be one year closer to tasting champagne.”

“Be honest,” Leonardo says. “I know you did tell us you don’t like celebrating your birthday and we brushed it off, but we’re listening now.”

“I. Ugh.” His leader is looking at him with big, sincere eyes that are less round now than they were a couple of years ago, but no less effective. “I don’t want to think about ages. We were never kids, we’re never really going to be adults. We’re never going to be allowed to be adults. Not unless turtle suffrage becomes a thing. So.” A deep breath. “And what does no longer being Master Splinter’s students mean? ‘Cause if it means we have to get jobs now I’d better not wind up doing birthday party gig work again.”

“We’re not going to split up,” Leonardo says, like there’s no irony in him being the one to reassure Raphael of that after the whole HAVOC thing. “That time when Splinter left us and we had to get jobs on our own was part of Splinter’s plan. It wasn’t practice for it happening for real. And I… I wouldn’t make that choice again.”

Raphael mutters, “Okay,” and blinks hard.

“Guess the universe was waiting for you to be honest about your feelings,” Michelangelo says, resting his chin on Raphael’s shoulder.

“If so that’s really unfair,” Raphael says. “I was being honest in the first place and I didn’t mean everything I shouted either. The universe has an anti-turtle bias. Then again, I’ve always suspected as much.”

“Cheer up, dude,” Michelangelo says. “It’s not your birthday.”

[simlicious]

Personal update

It's been a while since I wrote a longer personal post, so here we go. Long wall of text incoming!

I am not focused on making patterns so much as I am trying to make a tutorial on making them. Yesterday, I dived into making an explanatory animation and editing a short video clip I recorded. But adding transitions, titles, hints, etc, that stuff takes AGES. I have definitely gained a new level of respect for YouTubers!

Generally, I struggle a lot to get into any project and keep working on it. I'm 95% sure I have ADHD because the struggles I face are textbook ADHD. I have watched a lot of videos recently on ADHD, and especially also how symptoms manifest in women. I was the kid who always daydreamed in school. Who would go "ssssh!" angrily to classmates who were giggling/disrupting, because I got so distracted by it. I had to put all my energy into paying attention. I studied for tests on the last day or during the break before the lesson because I had no motivation beforehand. I had a hard time doing homework, I was just not motivated to do it and made a lot of careless mistakes too, especially with maths.

TBH, I've always felt really bad about showing so many WIPS and getting people's hopes up, and whenever I promise to get them done in a certain timeframe I meant what I said. But I often disappoint myself and you guys too because I often cannot pick up or work on a project. I know I want to finish it and that it would get me a satisfying feeling and probably praise from you guys, but it's still not enough motivation. It's like there is an invisible barrier and I cannot get through it. I often do not know myself why I can't do it. Whenever I do manage to pick up a project, I often have a good experience and at least make some progress on it. But it does not mean the next time is any easier 😭

I have some projects that are almost done, and there is just a little something to do and I just cannot bring myself to finish them. It's really frustrating. I have periods where I can just go with the flow and pick up whatever I can do and do not agonize as much about not being able to tackle bigger projects. But the tutorial project is one of the few goals I set for myself this year, and the year is more than half over already. I want to finally make some progress!

I realized why I am good at making patterns: They take a short amount of time, often between 15 minutes and 4 hours depending on the complexity, though most I can finish in an hour. I do not have to wait long until I can first test the new CC in my game, which is generally a very gratifying experience., since most of the time, the patterns are fine. But whenever they need to be tweaked again, I tend to put that off. It's really hard to pick them up because the gratification is not as high as the initial loading up. My brain is just not getting a high enough dose of dopamine from it, and it's like nope, why bother.

I also get into phases of hyperfocus, and in those, I can work 8 hours straight on a mesh, but once that streak is over... well, RIP WIP. And I can never finish a meshing project in one go. The base mesh might be finished, but then I need to make LODs, morphs, the textures... I often spend an initial 8 hours on one creation, and 20 more to revise stuff later on. I am also bad at judging how much time something takes, with some of my projects it's probably more like 40 hours that went into them already. Most notably a project I titled Exquisite Comfort Sweater. I have revised it 3 times I think, and I am still not done or satisfied with it:

The problems are not obvious from screenshots, there are texture flaws (which can be hidden nicely with patterns, and since the pattern tiling is so good I have used that cardigan often as a way to preview my patterns), but also bone and morph problems. I would not want to release a creation that is broken in my eyes. It might still work for posing and screenshots, but I want people to be able to play with my creations and not get distracted by terrible bone assignments. With this example, the custom bulky sleeves are what create a problem with the bones and morphs. They are just too different from EA's stuff and there is no good reference to clone those from. Hence I need to do manual edits, but that also involves a lot of trial and error. I recently learned how to tweak the bones manually in Blender, so I know I have the tools I need to elevate that to the level where I wanted it all along. But motivating myself to open that blender file still seems impossible.

My perfectionism compels me to enter a loop of creating, testing, seeing something I do not like, and having to do the cycle all over again. Because often, fixing a tiny thing also means I have to redo morphs,. LODS, textures, it takes ages to fix something. And then if I still don't like it, I have to do it a third time. Once my hyperfocus is over, the thing is just left in whatever state it was when I stopped.

I cannot bear to throw away any of my works in progress, because I do go back to some of them sometimes. But it really only happens very rarely that I finish something.

I spend a lot of time meshing and creating stuff, but it just never gets to a releasable state. So I probably have the same experience as someone who has published 100 meshes but I just have nothing to show for it. It sucks so much 😭

And I have been wanting to make tutorials about creating CC for AGES. In the past, I've written down written ones on a whim, but this time, I want to make video tutorials, because most people find them easier to grasp and more digestible. I have good ideas, and I have the knowledge to pass on, it really makes me sad to see so many people wanting to create CC but struggling to find good tutorials and resources. I want to help, I have the knowledge, but I struggle so much with getting things done. I start and I get overwhelmed. I get lost in details. My anxiety perks up. To say this is frustrating is an understatement. Whenever I publish a pattern collection, it feels as huge as writing a term paper. And I feel proud of myself when it is done and out, but it also exhausts me. I really wish I could put out content more frequently. That it wasn't such a huge deal, such a struggle.

I hardly even make goals anymore because most I never reach anyway, because I cannot walk that road. It's like I get off the path and get horribly lost.

And I really am sorry about not being able to keep promises. I often don't even mention stuff I am working on, but I sometimes do need the input/dopamine from my lovely blog readers to keep going.

I think if I declare a deadline, that will help me finish a project. It sometimes works, but then sometimes it does not. And it sometimes makes me want to write "unreliable" in my tumblr profile, but that feels so harsh and I need to show compassion toward myself if I want to make progress.

Lately, I have watched a lot of "tips and strategies for ADHD" videos. One video addressed something very important: the fact that people with ADHD can get bored with a certain strategy and then it just does not work anymore. So I cannot trust a habit to work forever, because out of the blue, that trusty strategy may just stop working.

Finding strategies that work is difficult, and getting into a new habit is even harder. I feel like life is rigged against me and my struggles are mostly unseen because my wins are not flashy at all. For me, cleaning my apartment is a big deal. Taking a walk with my best friends 2 times a week feels like a full week. We even go when it's raining. Two years ago, I would never thought this possible, but this shows me that I am making progress. The progress is just in areas that remain unseen, that do not produce big results, nothing to put in a resume, or in a portfolio.

I'm writing all this because I have been especially upset and frustrated with my inability to work lately. And I'm sad that I cannot create the resources for you the way I want to. That everything takes me so much longer than I anticipated. That I make promises that I cannot keep.

I need to get my frustrations out of my system so I can focus on small wins and hope they eventually add up to a big one.

If you happen to know some good ADHD resources or strategies that you have experience with, feel free to share them, they are much appreciated!

[tailoredshirt]

I was tagged in this book meme by @lemonlyman-dotcom and @guardian-angle22 a while back, and I'm finally doing it!

Last book I…

Bought

Apollo 13 by Jim Lovell and Jeffrey Kluger / Trials of Life by David Attenborough

I mostly borrow books from the library these days, so I only tend to buy books my library doesn't have. I'd been really wanting to listen to Apollo 13, and it was part of Libro.fm's BOGO sale. I also added Trials of Life, which is nonfiction about animal behavior.

Borrowed

The Terror by Dan Simmons (audiobook)

I’ve had the paperback for ages, but I've been reading so much by audiobook lately that I thought that might be best, since it's so long. I had to wait quite a while for it to become available, and yesterday it finally was! 🎉 I've been reading a ton about polar exploration lately in preparation. After I finish it I'll finally be able to watch the TV show!!

Was gifted

The Hurting Kind by Ada Limon

I don’t get gifted books very often! Probably because I have too many already, and also because I mostly read ebooks and audiobooks. But it was on my wishlist (I tend to put poetry on my wishlists because I like reading poetry from physical books), and my mom got it for me for Christmas. Haven’t read it yet.

Gave/lent to someone

I usually give my mom a book for Christmas, but I don't remember what I got her last year. Unfortunately I don't have a ton of people in my life who read.

Started

Guard! Guards! by Terry Pratchett (audiobook)

I’ve never read any Pratchett (chorus of shocked gasps), so I decided to start with the first of the Night Watch books. It’s very fun so far!

Finished

Labyrinth of Ice: The Triumphant and Tragic Greely Polar Expedition by Buddy Levy (audiobook)

I've been obsessed with the history of polar exploration lately, particularly the ones that went horribly wrong somehow (sorry to this man). It's a really interesting story. I found a good map of the region online and was able to track all of the landmarks and locations they mentioned while I listened.

Didn’t finish

A Murder Was Announced by Agatha Christie (audiobook)

I’ve been reading a bunch of Agatha Christie lately, mostly Poirot novels, but this would be my first Miss Marple. I just couldn’t understand the narrator. 😩 The other books were narrated by Hugh Fraser, who I’ve enjoyed. I think this one was narrated by Emilia Fox. I cannot distinguish between British accents, but something about hers was difficult for me to understand against the ambient noise of my bus ride. Two minutes in, I noped out and returned the book (via Libby). I'll probably try it again sometime when I'm at home and can hear it better.

Gave 5 stars

11/22/63 by Stephen King (audiobook)

This gave me the worst book hangover. It’s about a guy who travels back in time to 1959(ish?) and lives in the past for a few years as he prepares to try to stop Kennedy’s assassination. It’s not actually a perfect novel, but I think I listened to it as fast as humanly possible because I was so engaged. (32 hours long!) I love time travel stories.

Gave 2 stars

A Limited Run by Karen McQuestion (audiobook)

This had a Truman Show-like setup, with actors living - in character - in a gigantic enclosed 1940s neighborhood. All of that was an immediate yes for me, but the story itself was very boring and contrived.

-

Idk who to tag for reading memes, but please consider yourself tagged if you want to do it! And tag me so I can see what you're reading.

[theawkwardanglophile]

Chenford + "Lucy saw you propose to Ashley!"

“You’re lucky I’m so loyal to you.”

Tim looked up from the coffee he’d been sipping at his desk to see Angela scowling at him. “Good morning to you, too. Why exactly am I lucky?”

“Lucy came to me last night wanting to know how to put a curse on someone. After some expert-level prodding, imagine my surprise to find out she wanted to put the curse on you.”

Tim nearly choked on his coffee. “Me?”

Angela crossed her arms over her chest. “Lucy saw you propose to Ashley! Ring any bells? Wedding bells, perhaps?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “It was a prank! She knows it was a prank. I was just messing with her since she’d been on my case all day about whether or not I was going to propose to Ashley.”

“Were you going to?”

“No! We’re not ready for anything like that. Besides, it doesn’t matter because Ashley told me last night she never wants to get married…or have kids.”

“And what did you say?”

Tim shook his head. “Nothing. We’re fine, and still going to Hawaii.”

“Then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought.”

“Excuse me?”

“Tim, you’ve told me more than once how you want to be married again someday, and finally have the kids you weren’t able to have with Isabel. So why are you settling with this woman? And why would you create a fake proposal when you knew it would bother Lucy?”

Tim's eyes shot up at his friend. What was she talking about? Lucy was just having fun messing with him all day yesterday, that’s all. Right? “I didn’t know it would bother Lucy. Why would it? Pranks are our thing. We’ve been pranking each other for years.”

Angela pointed a finger at him. “Id…i…ot.”

Tim wasn’t an idiot, but he refused to let himself go down the thought path Angela was trying to steer him toward.

Shaking her head, she added quietly, “You didn’t see the hurt in her eyes, Tim. It really shook her up. I don’t think she expected to be so affected by it but she was. And if I were you, I’d give some serious thought about whether Ashley is who you truly want to be with, or if there might not be a better option closer than you think.”

“It’s…not like that, Angela. It could never be like that.”

She patted his arm. “Just make sure before you make any final decisions. You deserve to be happy, Tim. Don’t settle just because it’s the easy thing to do. That’s not you. Got it?”

Tim could only nod, a little overwhelmed by everything she’d said. 

“Alright, that’s all I’ve got. Back to work, Sergeant.”

As she began to walk away, Tim called out, “Sooo…no curse, then?”

She turned back, smiling deviously. “Nope, no curse, not yet anyway.”

Tim shuddered, reminded once again of Angela’s dark side. He looked at his watch, knowing that he needed to get a move on, but his head was stuffed full of thoughts, mostly of a beautiful brunette that had weaseled her way into his heart and managed to become the most important person in his life, and wondering what exactly he was going to do about it.