#ive also only been watching smosh for like a year

[iridescentis]

ive been trying to have coherent thoughts but i haven't even had a chance to process the dnpcrafts video because my brain has just been consumed by shourtney ive been giggling and kicking my feet for the past 24hrs im officially losing it

[smoshyourheadin]

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

[gremlynn-x]

do you have a fandom list?

hey!! thanks for asking :D (prepare for me to go way too in depth xx)

MAINS:

my oldest fandom is probably the marauders! i still want to post stuff for them but im currently on a horror comedy kick

starkid/tcb/shipwrecked!!! been a fan for about 5 years and the brainrot has only gotten worse, this is the fandom im currently most active in so most of my posts will probably be this lmao

SMOSH!! only been watching for a year and a half but they mean so much to me. comfort channel fr

httyd! was obssessed with the films and the first show as a kid and kinda rediscovered my love for it like 3 years ago. the first 2 films have gotten me thru some rough times (we do not talk about the 3rd one...), my comfort series <33

OTHERS:

arcane!! and this style show in general (also love nimona and spiderverse)

the owl house, amphibia, gravity falls... love kids shows that will have me sobbing 🫶🫶

BBC GHOSTS RAAAH (best british show)

merlin, walking dead, the amazing digital circus, my sisters been trying to get me more into star wars, honestly my taste is all over the place

im just a queer little nerd so anything along those lines ive probably at least heard of and if not im always open to recommendations!!

[natashasbitxh]

this is gonna be long, but,

i used to be into youtube fandoms alot but the only ones ive retained are dan and phil and smosh. i was big on phan but i fell out of it years ago, i still like them but im more of a causal viewer than a rabid racoon frothing at the mouth every time some content drops.

(and also realised, as im no longer a teenager anymore, how shipping real people together is tricky and there are boundaries you dont cross and should be handled a particular way)

smosh ships were cute but nothing really stuck to me. don't get me wrong they all have chemistry but GOD DOES SHAYNSE GIVE!!?? IM A RACOON ONCE AGAIN

oh my god the way ive been sucked into shanyse. the smosh pit theatre was my awakening LIKE WTF THERE'S CHEMISTRY?? then i did the customary tumblr tag search and now im re-watching every video shayne and chanse has appeared together.

im sorry for all this but i gathered you were sort of a pioneer for the ship, so it felt right to confess on here

I relate so hard with ur comment on phan, I feel the fandom has gone thru a massive transformation and feels so much for chill now! Ppl have grown and are taking into account Phil and Dan a lot more!

Yes! Rpf is a tough area! I've said it before but the most important thing is the ppl themselves and their feelings! If Shayne or Chanse (or anybody from Smosh or that knows them tbh) asked me to stop, I would in a heartbeat! I, of course, would never intend any harm! And we see such a small snippet of their lives, its truly just based off their internet personas. My one rule is that u shouldn't go out of ur way to shove rpf into the ppl's faces unless they've said their okay with it! (Example: Them finding a fic by themselves is not the fault of the author, but the author sending it to them constantly crosses some boundaries)

Okay sorry, just wanted to make my thoughts clear!! Back to shaynse!!

OMG I'M SO HAPPY U FEEL THAT WAY!! I have felt that way since I thought of the ship but back then there was NO content for them!! Not even a ship name! (@jovenshires came up with the ship name). So it almost made me feel crazy or wrong for thinking of it, I'm so happy it's been well received!!

I feel like once u see it, u can't unsee it! That theater vid has done sm for shaynse nation! However, its just below the love is blind vid because that is literally shaynse day🫶🫶

Never apologise!! I love hearing other ppls thoughts and discussing!! And thank u for calling me the pioneer for this ship, it truly is an honour! I've been called it a couple times now so I might add it to my blog, I just hope I don't look big-headed 😭

And just an overall message to anybody that sees this, I welcome conversation abt ANY smosh ship, as long as it's appropriate! (I'm not sure what to give as an example, but I'd let u know if it's not appropriate)

Thank you, anon!

[xxmoonch1ldxx]

hellooo, ive read through ur fics and they are beautiful and i humbly provide a prompt 4 u; Anthony stimming in front of Ian. thats it that the prompt. since their reunion, Anthony has finally felt comfortable enough to stim in front of Ian when he wants to without shame or sum idk im autistic and love projecting onto my favourite content creators

Hey Anon, finally getting back to you after a milennial. I'm sorry for the wait! I got you, I too am autistic and love projecting so here we go :)

Anthony had always held himself to some pretty stupid standards.

When he was younger, he believed he needed to always put socks the same color or people would definitely notice and laugh at him. As he grew older, it became about straightening his hair, not only for the emo style but mainly because he was ashamed of his curls and thought he would get mocked for them. Mainly, though, he battled with his, for a long time undiagnosed but very obvious, ADHD and everything that came along with it.

The shame he felt at his own behavior started pretty young, when he used to simply stay mute instead of allowing himself to talk to people in kindergarten. He knew he had a loud voice and an even louder laugh, one that his mom always told him to quiet down. Even though she was never mean about it, Anthony had ended up taking it more personal than he should have. Sadly, though, it didn't get easier; there were so many assignments he failed because he hadn't been able to focus and was to ashamed to ask for help from anyone, lest they tell him to get his head out of his ass and listen.

Anthony tried, he did, but that never quite worked.

It didn't quite work like a lot of things did, but one person he did let into his life and his odd behavior was Ian. Ian never whined when he laughed too loud, Ian never minded how he jumped subjects of conversations and Ian always helped him in the classes he failed to understand due to having lost focus. Anthony had always been so, so grateful for that, but there was still one thing he had struggled with.

Stimming. Anthony had a lot of small habits that he always suppressed, mostly in fear he would get judged. Even with how much he loved Ian, he always feared he would disrupt the younger man with those repetitive behaviors. He also remembered a few times where he had been unable to help the thrumming of his fingers as he worked, the stress of his later years at Smosh taking a toll on him and making him unable to stay still even more than usual; Ian used to turn around and ask him to stop in this irritated voice. Not mean, once again, but it hit the nail in the coffin.

He was disturbing people in a way he shouldn't be, or at least, that's what he thought.

And then, after a few years of therapy, an official diagnosis, getting on meds and finally unloading all of this trauma, Anthony and Ian had reunited.

The core of the relationship, their comedic chemistry and the ease they had once felt around each other came back, even stronger than it had been before. Anthony had never been more grateful for something in his life; or maybe he had, but only about the fact he and Ian were now an official thing. A couple. Boyfriends.

They had learned how to live around each other again, speak out what bothered them and be honest. Issues were solved way faster today, and way easier too. Working was comfortable, funny, fulfilling in the same way it had been back when they started Smosh. Hanging out was, too, and they now found comfort and pleasure in the mere act of being together, opposite to the later years of their friendship when they barely spent any time together outside of work. For that, Anthony was fully grateful too; it sure was fun that being together now included more things like kisses, hugs and more...Physical activities. Anthony loved those improvements.

Ian and him now were together more often than not, and there was an ease about it that had never been there before. Sometimes, they didn't even do much; Ian would be watching yet another history video and Anthony would be laying with his head on his boyfriend's lap, working on his new interview. He cherished those small moments, especially the few instances when Ian would interrupt him for a bit just to press a fond and loving kiss on his lips. It was lovely, it filled Anthony's heart in a way nothing else ever had.

One of the things he cherished the most, though, was how earnest they had both been with each other. Vyvanse pills might work for focus and other symptoms of ADHD, but the stimming part couldn't be erased from him. Happily, though, Anthony didn't feel the need to hide himself anymore.

When they were in the office, he would sometimes be playing with everything that fell under his hands. The little holder of his phone, the pencil he was holding, his rings that he wore; it was a thing that greatly helped him focusing when they were brainstorming. Instead of whining like he had sometimes used to, Ian would always look at him fondly, with a smile that screamed 'I knew this would happen', but would never interrupt him. He had even started bringing a few of those little water toys that could be squished for Anthony to press on as he talked. He had brought one in the shape of a black cat, because he said it reminded him of Anthony. He was blushing as he said it, but Anthony had thought it was so cute he had kissed Ian on the mouth hard enough to bruise his lips.

Then, there was the way he often hummed as he did things. Really, anything; it would also help him focus and he didn't even notice it at time. Ian would sometimes join him in his low singing when he did the dishes or even worked on some scripts, a smile on his lips. Neither he or Ian were particularly great singers, but they always ended up laughing so hard they cried or just having a sweet, domestic moment.

Ian had also brought a few rocking chairs inside the office, decision that had been questioned but Anthony was forever grateful. It was easier and grounding to rock on a chair that was made for it, a habit Ian had probably noticed and remembered from their time at school and how Anthony couldn't keep himself still on a chair for two seconds. Ian always scolded him when he brought his chair on two legs, telling he might fall and to stop; this was something else that Anthony cherished about him. How protective he had always been, how much he cared.

Most of the time, Anthony thrummed his legs endlessly. This habit put a strain on his muscles, something Ian knew, so he would lean in to place a hand on his thigh, remind him to calm down. Ian would rub the skin and pat it simply before retrieving his hand, knowing Anthony didn't even notice what he was doing. There was also how he would reach out to tug at Anthony's arm when he either bit his nails too much or scratch at his skin until it would become red. Sure, there were days Ian wasn't there to do so and Anthony would end up breaking his skin open, but his boyfriend would always be there once he came back home to rub the skin with lotion and kiss the scar, achingly soft and tender. Anthony didn't think he could love him more, but Ian always outdid himself. He once bought gums and straws just for Anthony to chew on when he needed to.

Even with his weirder habits, Ian didn't judge. He didn't judge when Anthony cleared his throat too much or repeated random words or sentences. He didn't judge when he would flap his hands and move them a little too much as he talked. He didn't mind when Anthony would get excited and jump a little too much, or he would get all over the place. Instead, he seemed to find it very amusing and so, so adorable. Just like he cherished the little tunes Anthony whistled when he was particularly engrossed into something.

All those little things that Anthony had spent years hiding and taming down, all the habits he had taken that included hurting himself and then dealing with the consequences himself, he didn't have to face them alone. Ian would always be there to ease the ache in his muscles after he pulled at them too much by how much he moved, or to cream his red and sore skin, massage his jaw when he had chattered his teeth too much. Anthony treasured all of those actions, how much care Ian had towards him and how he showed him all the time. It was a little wild to find someone who finally didn't mind all those things about him, and especially someone who even cherished a few of those habits. Anthony would see it in the fond smile stretched on Ian's face when he stared at him, just like he hung the moon, when he was just whistling while doing the dishes. He would feel it in the way Ian kissed him softly when he would sing, how he wouldn't even note the flapping of his hands and simply lean over to brush a strand of hair away from his face.

Anthony felt comfortable to be fully himself in a way he had never had before. He knew and could feel the way Ian loved every little thing about him, from the way he smiled so softly to the way he catered to his every needs, even when Anthony ignored he had them.

Anthony simply cherished Ian himself, fully and wholly. He had never been more grateful of something than the fact Ian felt the same.

[jovenshires]

im not sure if you've watched a lot of the newer smosh videos but thoughts on the newer cast (angela, arasha, chanse, amanda technically)

i have!! ive been (mostly) keeping up i just haven't made any tumblr content in. so long.

matt - i literally had to look up his name. i couldn't remember it. he is one of the least memorable cast members they've ever had on. he reminds me of shayne like. five years ago. like put it in my mouth era if that makes sense. idk if he's still w them bc he hasn't been on in literally forever but i figured he was worth mentioning.

amanda - thats my Best Friend amanda!!!! she is genuinely one of the funniest people not only on the channel but that i've ever seen. genuinely her characters, her bits, her just general vibe. her funeral roast speech made me laugh so much harder than almost anyone else has. she's just so genuinely funny never fails to make me laugh i love her.

angela - LOVE her. i'm a huge starkid fan so i saw her n i was like. wait a minute. i think she's super talented and she does in fact have the energy of a feral guinea pig. she's like. kid sister energy. i love it!

arasha - im gonna be so real. i'm sure she's fine. but i personally don't vibe w her and i literally cant even remember why. again im sure she's absolutely wonderful and this is just me but i know i watched a video where she did or said something that just. really rubbed me the wrong way and i haven't been able to let go of it. don't ask me what it is bc i dont remember and if i could i'd tell you. not personally my bag but im glad she's around once again she brings a new energy im here for it.

chanse - also genuinely so funny and iconic. he and angela really go hand and hand and gel well together i think. one of my fave new games videos is the one w him and noah as ghost hunters i think it's so good. if chanse were in literally every video i'd be cool w that.

overall im really glad they're bringing new people on!! more women and more poc are always a positive so they can help make the channel n company inclusive.

[green-has-moved-to-another-blog]

for the past few days,, ive only been watching old youtubers from my childhood (smosh, fred, tobuscus, 2013 pewdiepie, 2013 markiplier, oh u kno,,,,,) and holy shit its so weird to watch all of them now, in the year of our lord 2019,,,,

i think fred was the first youtuber ive ever watched??? i remember watching his videos and laughing my ass off as a kid,,,, but today i find his videos really cringy,, they had that "lol im so random xddddd" aspect and cjsnxbahchshhdjsbc,,, but it hit me right in the nostalgia and fuck sad boi hours are here

i also use to watch smosh with my friends back in the day,,, we would always quote the death note in real life video and the pokemon irl videos so uhh that also did a big nostalgia on my heart,,, but then they became this corporate company and everything turned to shit chaghzgxhagzh it just makes me sad and it blows my mind

2013 markiplier and pewdiepie just screamed a lot while playing games and i mean,,,,,, valid, but markiplier made a bigger impact on me bc i was hyperfixating on him at the time (and im pretty sure i had a huge crush on him back in the day) and i remember watching the markiplier community grow and grow and its just wild that i got to be a part of that,,,, like i remember when mark hit 2 million subs,,,, look at how many he has now,,,

tobuscus was the hardest to watch,, he was the whole reason one of my friends and i became friends in the first place,,, but i couldnt watch his videos without feeling weird bc not only did 2012 - 2014 me deadass build my style of comedy based off of him,,,,,,, but its bc i remember when the whole rape allegation thing went down,,, all his videos feel tainted in some way,,,, like im not supposed to be watching them. i remember being so heartbroken when i first heard that,,,,,,,, like,,, that was one of my childhood heros,,, i couldnt handle the fact that one of my icons could possibly be a rapist, so i never watched another one of his videos again (until now ofc),,,, to this day i still have no idea if any of the allegations were true,,,,

all of this makes me want to go back to 2010 - 2014 so badly,,,,, even though life was always kinda shitty, i was so much happier back then,,,, not fucking feeling like i want to kill myself everyday,,, but i know i cant just turn back time,,, i need to keep moving forward,,, i just hope that one day i could be as happy as i was back then,,,

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2017!

As everyone is gearing up for their 2018 lists, I prefer to take that extra year to see as much crap as I could from the year before! Now, keep in mind, even with that extra year to watch as many movies as I possibly could, I still didn’t see everything. So, as awful as I’m sure Baywatch or The Bye Bye Man are, I just didn’t around to seeing them. If you want a comprehensive list of every single film I did see from 2017 in order from best to worst, you can go here: https://letterboxd.com/animatorreviewa/list/every-2017-movie-ive-seen/

#10. A Bad Moms Christmas Bad Moms (2016) was a surprise hit with both audiences & critics: with interesting characters, some really funny moments, & a clever moral; it wasn’t anything that would win an Oscar, but if it was on, I wouldn’t complain. A Bad Moms Christmas on the other hand: has annoying as hell characters, obvious humor, & the same damn moral from the first film! In a world with the MCU, which is constantly trying different & unique things, especially with their sequels in hopes to make them stand out, this kind of cheap, cash-grabby sequel with no heart or care put into it simply has no place. If this came out in the ‘80s or ‘90s, it’d be un-notable among Caddyshack 2 & A Christmas Story 2. But in today’s day & age, these kinds of sequels are a relic of a time once left & forgotten & for good reasons. It’s unfunny, uninteresting, & just straight up awful! If I wasn’t keeping track of these movies, I would’ve easily forgotten about it.

#9. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Growing up in the early to mid-2000s, I grew up with the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books. I remember being very excited when the movies came out, & to this day, the books & movies continue to be (at the very least) guilty pleasures. The Long Haul book kept with the spirit of the series, being about a relatively un-notable piece of someone’s childhood, mixed with the feeling of being of nostalgic reminiscing while keeping with the spirit & imagination of a preteen. Its lack of reliability & humor that made past books more enjoyable made The Long Haul my least favorite DOAWK book, but it was still notably timeless as it had little to no potty humor or modern technology that tends to ruin perfectly nice children’s media. The DOAWK movies tend to have the same feel, like it’s just as relatable for children at the time as it would be for kids 50 years from now. What made the films so enjoyable, as opposed to the books, is the spot-on chemistry & acting of the cast. Everyone seemed believable in their roles, Zachary Gordon felt like a genuine kid making genuine kid decisions how a genuine kid would act in a genuine kid filled world. The Long Haul movie is absolutely nothing like these. It relies heavily on bad potty humor, horrendous acting, scenes too out of this world to ever seem believable, & characters who act nothing like any human being. The Rodrick in book & first 3 movies was a dumb older brother who compensated by bullying around his younger brother while still being somewhat caring towards him by giving him honest advice (even if it’s bad). The Rodrick in this would have a hard time breathing & walking at the same time. There was way too much use of modern technology, making it unrelatable to older audiences & cringy to younger audiences, who’re smart enough to know that the old farts making this probably never met a child before. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul was an unfunny, annoying, & unrelatable slog! #NotMyRodrick

#8. Bigger Fatter Liar Coming about a decade too late, Bigger Fatter Liar is mostly unfunny & annoying. It’s a repeat of the first movie except less funny, less interesting, & less Frankie Muniz. I cannot over-exaggerate how much I hate these kinds of sequels: the kind that takes a great comedy, strips any of the humorous moments, repeats the plot point-for-point, mostly repeats the jokes point-for-point, & adds nothing of interest or value. This is why Vacation made my Top 10 Worst 2 years ago, this is why Bigger Fatter Liar makes my list now. Just like Vacation, it takes a bunch of ingenious build-ups from their original film & fucks up the punch-line by being too over-the-top. Now, going over-the-top isn’t inherently bad (Ghostbusters & Spaceballs are 2 of my favorite comedies & their very over-the-top), but it can be easily overdone, & when it is, you get The Big Bang Theory. I guess what I find most perplexing is who is this made for? Anyone who grew up with Big Fat Liar are too old to be interested in an obvious cash-grab & younger children who might’ve been shown it by their parents aren’t going to be shown it because their parents are smart enough to not show it to them! I can only assume its target audience are people like me, who go out of their way to find the worst movies they possibly can, & this is a damn good contender.

#7. Snatched There really are few things in the world as hard to watch as a bad comedy as so far, it’s made up my entire list & Snatched isn’t going to be the last. Snatched is one of those comedies that has some serious tone issues. You’re supposed to laugh even after Amy Schumer & Goldie Hawn are kidnapped & probably almost raped! I’ve heard of dark comedy, but that’s a hard sell especially since it isn’t a dark comedy! It has generally pretty light humor in it that you’d see in A Bad Moms Christmas or The House, & though those movies are also quite terrible, Snatched puts them in the context of one of the really bad Scary Movies. This film offers the kind of balls you’d see in Deadpool or The Hitman’s Bodyguard but instead gives the least daring comedy in years. It’s humor is safe but doesn’t have the context of a safe film.

#6. Woody Woodpecker I’m going to be entirely honest... I never really liked Woody Woodpecker. I never found him funny or enjoyable, he’s always been just annoying. Now take the concept of a classic character who’s only personality trait is being annoying & make an entire annoying movie around him with the animation that’d make some of the D-list Blue Sky movies look like Pixar & you get the Woody Woodpecker movie. A movie that literally nobody needs to see! The story is... well, who cares? It’s a Woody Woodpecker movie in the style of The Smurfs, who cares about anything in this? You wanna know how bad it is? Guess... you’re right. How about the comedy... you’re right. It has so few twists & turns that if you simply imagine what it’s like, you’ve seen it. Congrats, you saw the 6th worst movie of 2017.

#5. F The Prom Say what you want about the Smosh movies or the Shane Dawson docuseries, but at least they’re naturally creative people doing creative things. Sure, Ghostmates is horrendously edited, but at least it’s made by people with experience at making popular sketch comedy with an actual audience. The Mind Of Jake Paul probably didn’t go as deep as it should’ve, but at least it’s made by someone who’s used to having to be energetic & humorous on the spot & has an audience who likes his stuff. The Fine Bros. have limited experience at being creative. All of their hit series (Kids React, Elders React) have been based around other people’s creative reactions to someone else’s creative content. And I’m not saying that doesn’t take some hard work; they must have a talent at finding people-pleasers, getting the kinds of reactions to make a compelling opinion, editing them together as to not fuck up their opinions nor the original content, & marketing that to the right audience. That’s why I think they’d make for decent producers, but creative types they are not. That’s why their more creative series like Emo Dad & MyMusic ended as failures with little fanfare. F The Prom was directed & written by the Fine Bros. & watching it, you can tell that everything I just said was true. It’s just a knockoff of The D.U.F.F. which was a knockoff of The Breakfast Club! Why would you want to be The D.U.F.F.? The critical bomb no one saw because it’s nothing like anyone’s high school experience? They both have all the tellings of an ‘80s high school (queen bee cheerleaders, bully jocks, bullied nerds, etc.), which is fine, but then they threw in cell phones & emojis to relate to modern day teenagers. Doing so alienates older audiences who didn’t have sexting when they were in high school & alienates modern teens who don’t have these kinds of cliches anymore. It’s funny that they have a hit series called Teens React because they pretty clearly didn’t ask any of them what modern high schools are like! I was hoping that The Edge Of Seventeen would bring on a wave of great teen movies & Eighth Grade would bring on a wave of great YouTuber movies. But I guess the Fine Bros. had the worst YouTuber movie & 2nd worst teen comedy ever still in them.

#4. CHiPS Okay, I didn’t realize that this list would be made almost entirely of bad comedies, we just happen to be in a bad age for comedy so you’ll have to deal with me typing “unfunny” a little bit longer. CHiPS is cheap & unfunny garbage that I wish I never saw! Every joke was just “sex this” & “sex that” which is fine in moderation & with good writing, but this has neither! It’s trying to be 21 Jump Street but doesn’t understand that what made that so great was it’s clever humor to parody the original franchise & reboot movies as a whole, not just cheap sex jokes! You want to get drunk? Take a shot every time they mention sex, you don’t even need other rules, you’ll be dead 10 minutes in! There’s no cleverness, no nuance, nothing of substance to make it even worth talking about! And that’s why it’s #4!

#3. Let There Be Light Here’s the obligatory Christian movie, I’d stop including them if they stopped being so badly made. The writing, acting, story, cinematography, everything (& I mean everything) seems like they were done by people who don’t know how to make a movie because they were. Christian movies aren’t made to be interesting or Oscar contenders, they’re made to propagate their shitty ideals. That Christianity is good, all other religions are bad. It is, quite literally, propaganda. Which isn’t inherently bad. What is bad that it’s in the service of hatred towards the other (whether it be Atheists, Muslims, gays, etc.) & it’s really badly made. And don’t think that I hate all Christian movies just on principal simply because I myself am a bisexual Atheist. I love Angels In The Outfield, Field Of Dreams, & VeggieTales just as much as everyone else. I hate bad Christian movies that open with 9/11 for literally no reason other than to say “fuck Muslims”. I hate bad Christian movies that support hating others rather than love & acceptance (like what Jesus Christ preached). I hate bad Christian movies that hate me because of how I was born for no reason other than because an old book told them to. There, have I made my point yet? Can these movies please stop being made?

#2. Pitch Perfect 3 I know it’s weird to follow up “this movie hates gay people” with Pitch Perfect 3, but I saw this in theaters surrounded by a bunch of middle-aged women who seriously need to get laid laughing with that kind of annoying theater-people laugh every time a character literally named Fat Amy said “I’m fat, ppppffffttttt!!!!” I have never had such a negative theater experience & the fact that I still had to sit through a movie as bad as Pitch Perfect 3 didn’t fucking help! I can’t stand this movie! It’s annoying, frustrating, unfunny, cheap, & all around bad... but so was A Bad Moms Christmas & Snatched & they were delegated to #10 & #7 respectively. What made Pitch Perfect 3 particularly awful to sit through? Well I wish death upon the audience I saw this with, but there is one more thing... The Pitch Perfect movies weren’t ever, well, perfect but they were perfectly fine, harmless films. There’s a few decent laughs, I like Princess Poppy in them alright, I think the singing was genuinely good. But what separates those films from their sequel is their basis in reality. The Pitch Perfect films always took place in a very realistic, very grounded reality. Pitch Perfect 3, on the other hand, opens with all of the main characters tied up on a Bond-esc villain’s boat, about to be murdered because Fat Amy is his daughter & reasons. If that isn’t jumping the shark, I don’t know what is! And I would accept this if it was fun, but it’s not. In fact, it’s barely focused on until the last half hour when it’s entirely that. The rest of the film is just a less funny Pitch Perfect. Wouldn’t be good, but not 2nd worst movie of 2017 bad. But it’s just so unfunny & the story so convoluted & the audience that annoying! I hate everything in this, I can’t imagine anyone liking this! Fuck this movie!

Before we get to #1, here’s some runners up:

Sandy Wexler I think both I & Adam Sandler are tired of the general Adam Sandler shtick. Encapsulated by the fact that I didn’t include this on my list & Sandler releasing critically praised films such as The Meyerowitz Stories (New And Selected) & 100% Fresh right after this. There’s nothing of note or particularly interesting about Sandy Wexler when compared to Grown Ups or Pixels. It’s another bad Adam Sandler movie, the same as any other, I’m just happy that they seem just about over.

Wish Upon I heard a lot of people consider this film so-bad-it’s-good but I didn’t enjoy its awfulness quite that much. But I did enjoy it just enough to keep it off of the list. There’s lots of accidentally funny moments in this, just not as many as I was hoping.

The Emoji Movie I know a ton of people put this as their worst movie of 2017... but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because people hyped it up too much by the time I got to see it or maybe because I’m a sucker for fast paced animation but I enjoyed this film way too much to put it here. I don’t know, I don’t think it’s that bad. Mostly mediocre, I guess. Same goes for Duck Duck Goose & Gnome Alone.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales 2017 was not a very good year for mediocre movie franchises. Between this, Tom And Jerry: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, & Transformers: The Last Knight, all being god awful & not making much money, maybe it’s the end to these 3 not very beloved series... or Bumblebee will make a bunch of money & nobody will learn any valuable lessons.

What The Health I have no problem with vegans, if anything, I think they’re objectively correct in their arguments, I just like medium rare steak too much! Just please don’t make shitty documentaries with shotty evidence & bad science! This one in particular made me so mad that I stopped watching it half way through & I would’ve put it on the list if I included documentaries!

All Eyez On Me Joke’s on me! I thought Straight Outta Compton would’ve brought a new wave of great music biopics, but apparently it only brought along terribly boring & overly long music biopics with 2018′s Bohemian Rhapsody & 2017′s All Eye’s On Me. The longest 2 & a half hours of my life!

Death Note As a huge fan of the Death Note anime & manga, this is practically blasphemy!... but there is still a lot of creativity & cleverness in it. Granted, those are all from the anime & the worst parts are whenever it tries to be original. But, granted again, if it was just the anime there’d be no reason to watch it. I feel like the people working on this were given a bad hand & probably did the best they could... but it still sucked. I strangely feel very similar about Beauty And The Beast.

Despicable Me 3 I think I just have a really low tolerance for annoyance. I cannot stand being annoyed, I’d rather be tortured! And that is the fatal wound of the Despicable Me franchise. I like the first 2 films just fine, but between this & Minions, I think it’s doomed to annoying purgatory!

47 Meters Down Shark movies are more dead than the shark at the end of Jaws: totally terminated & yet still showing up in films. 47 Meters Down is another hackney entry into a tired genre.

Happy Death Day I feel like I’m alone in hating this film. People praise it for being funny & clever while I bash it for being void of any entertainment & doing the same shit that got overused a decade ago.

#1. Fifty Shades Darker As out of touch F The Prom is, as hate-filled Let There Be Light is, as annoying Pitch Perfect 3 is... at least they have stories. They have comprehensive plots. Things actually happen in them. That is a lot more than what I can say for Fifty Shades Darker. On my 2015 list, I didn’t include Fifty Shades Of Grey because, as a film, it was decently made & had more than a few funny moments that made it worth watching. Its sequel did absolutely nothing, & I mean nothing! Nothing happens! How is this enjoyable for anyone? Just watch porn! You’ll get more out of it & it’ll probably have a better plot anyways.