#but no matter how many times i say that to myself im scared
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sakasamashoujo · 5 months ago
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long exasperated sigh
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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.
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dovedrangeas · 2 years ago
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sooooo haha when will the feeling of being stupider than all my peers for not being better at school like..... go away lol
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lore-smaus · 2 months ago
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«I DON'T SPEAK TACO BELL» FT. Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Shoko, Choso, Toji, Sukuna.
Summary: You so casually yell at them in Spanish and they have no clue how to act.
Tags: crackhead energy, cursing duh, translation for the one who can't understand duh!, freaky characters, this one is slightly connected to some smau lore lmao
A/N: Im done here. I had too much fun making this @saintkaylaa
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Gojo Satoru:
“A ver, pendejito, tu te crees que soy una de tus amiguitas o que? A mi no me vengas con eso otra vez o te voy a dar un cantaso que vas a ver a Geto!" (lets see, dumbass. You think im one of your little friends? Dont come at me with that ever again or ill hit you so hard you'll see Geto!)
To say he was shocked was an understatement. He was beyond that point.
He knew you spoke Spanish, hell, he's seen you speak it. However, no matter how many times he listens to it, it will never not surprise him how fluently and easy you spoke it.
He apologized, even though he didn't understand anything, and made sure to not get on your nerves ever again. He was scared shitless.
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Geto Suguru
Logically, he wasn't afraid of anything! Truly. Well, that was until you heard the girls referring to your non sorcerer family as monkeys. You sat them down, belt in hand and started shouting at them.
"Es que como se te ocurre! Monos?! A MI familia?! No no, es que tu eres imbécil! Y enfrente de las nenas!?" (What were you thinking! Monkeys?! MY family?! No no, you're an asshole! In front of the girls too!?)
The girls looked sheepishly at Geto, however, Geto had his eyes closed, almost praying, barely making noises. It wasn't his first time being shouted at in Spanish, however, it was the first time actually looking at you grabbing a belt. And with the way you talked about how your parents hit you when you were young with it? Oh yeah, he didn't even wanna move. So the girls, following the example, stayed still.
Rest assured, that day, Geto discovered he had ONE fear: you.
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Nanami Kento
"Ruega a Dios que ese imbécil no se cruce en mi camino porque es que lo exorciso yo misma" (Pray to God so that imbecil don't cross paths with me because I'll exorcise him myself)
Truly, while Shoko attended Nanami, she could almost hear his heart palpitations because the way you fumed and complained, even pointing at him to reprimand him for his carelessness he was rather excited.
He knew you spoke and he tried his best to learn spanish however, he noticed that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to understand it. So he stayed silent during your 'lecture'. However, in his mind, he was trying to figure out what were you saying.
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Shoko Ieiri
“Me importa un carajo que te ayude a quitar estrés, o sueltas el jodio cigarrillo o yo te voy a dar una razón para estresarte." (I don't give a fuck if it helps you destress, you either let go of the god-damned cigarette or ill give you a reason to be stressed)
She didn't know if she should be turned on or scared. Maybe both.
"yo... Umm? No hablar?" She tried to speak the very little spanish she knew, however, that only helped to confuse you. When she finally let go (and stopped on the cigarette) you sighed heavily.
"Your spanish is shit"
"Pardon?!"
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Choso Kamo
Poor guy. He doesn't even know what you're saying. You weren't mad, just... Disappointed.
"Es que como se te ocurre? Es que de verdad, amor, no puedes hacer eso!" (What were you thinking. Truly, love, you can't do that!)
Not long ago, he had learned he was lactose intolerant and you were behind the bathroom door lecturing him, plugging your nose while doing so. He was struggling, both physically and mentally. You sounded funny but the ache on his stomach didn't let him laugh.
"Y es que si hubiera sido un poco. Pero nooooo, tu jartaste un tazon mantecado entero!" (And if it was just a little bit. But nooooo, you ate a whole bowl of ice cream!)
Its alright tho, he learned his lesson:(
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Toji Fushiguro
"O te mueves o te muevo. Avanza y largate antes que yo misma decida romperte la cara" (move or ill move you. Hurry up and scatter before i break your face myself)
If you guys weren't bloody, sweaty and tired, he'd kiss you and fuck you full of his cock. But his tiredness told him he didn't have the strength to even get hard.
You'll just have to wait when he gets his rest and shower to show you how turn on he gets when you threaten him in a language he doesn't even understand.
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Sukuna Ryomen
"Si te lo tengo que decir una vez más te voy a cortar los huevos. Si dejas que otra zorra se te acerque quedas soltero" (if i need to repeat this again I'll cut your dick off. You let another whore get close to you you'll be single)
You ever seen a cat widening his eyes? Yep, that's him. Looking around with a scowl on his face and looking straight and Urame for a translation, quickly. Not getting any, since they didn't know either.
However, the fire in your tone, the sass on your movements and the way you sounded threatening and serious makes him think that you truly are fit to be the queen of curses.
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with-my-calamitous-love · 3 months ago
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WOULD YOU TELL ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF?
bakugou katsuki x reader
part 3/3, part 1, part 2
a month after your breakup, you open the door for katsuki.
reminder that love is not a substitute for forgiveness. this is simply a work of fiction 🪽
inspired by betty
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katsuki (do not answer) : have i told you that enough? that i love you?
katsuki (do not answer): im sorry
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you i love you enough
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you how god damn pretty you are
katsuki (do not answer): for not buying you flowers
katsuki (do not answer): for not treating you how i should have
katsuki (do not answer): i know i messed up
katsuki (do not answer): but i wanna make it right
katsuki (do not answer): you're my whole fucking world
katsuki (do not answer): and i do love you
katsuki (do not answer): so open the door, im outside
✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚
you stared at the texts. evident by the shadow behind your door, he was indeed standing outside your apartment.
the swirl of emotions in your heart threatened to climb up your throat and spill from your mouth at the thought of seeing his face. you should tell him to fuck off. you should send him crying. you should tell him how shitty he is and how stupid he is to come here seeking your forgiveness. you should be smart about this.
but you’re not.
your shaky hand rests on the doorknob, threatening to twist it and see his face at any given moment. but you hesitate, because of course you do. you’re sweaty and emotional and terrified. your hearts been through too much to go through more. how much more were you willing to endure?
just on the other side, katsuki rested his forehead against the wooden door, as if trying to feel your presence from behind. god, he misses you. he’d do anything just to see your face again. the worst thing he has ever done was what he did to you. and the only thing he wants to do is make it up to you.
he wonders if you’ll have him. if you’ll still want him.
and he isn’t sure what scares him more- your answer or your lack of one.
and just as he’s about to turn away, the door creaks.
he thinks his heart stops when he sees you. it doesn’t matter if your eyes are puffed up and your practically drowning in your hoodie. he is physically incapable of finding you anything less than gorgeous. his eyes are glossy, his hair is tarnished, he looks like he hasn’t slept a wink- because he hasn’t.
you sigh. this was gonna be a long night.
“…hey.” his usual gruff voice was replaced by something more sincere. he hopes you don’t notice how sore his throat is from crying.
you don’t say anything, instead opting to step aside, allowing this cheating, unfaithful bastard into your house. you watch as his crimson eyes take in the familiar surroundings, memories erupting from the beds you previously made. you wonder what he’s been up to in the past few months. it was izuku’s birthday recently- they celebrated by throwing a party. you wonder if maybe he went to that party, if perhaps he drank at that party. but you hoped his last endeavour with the liquid poison scared him away from alcohol entirely.
“is icyhot here?” he asks, cautiously. you scoff. of course thats what he wants to know. “no.” you answer, and he sighs in relief. but you almost wish shouto was here. you two never dated like katsuki and many others thought you were, but you’d be lying if you said the photos you had posted on instagram weren’t a bit suggestive. you knew they’d drive katsuki crazy, and they succeeded in fulfilling that goal.
“are you two…?” he trails off, the answer causing katsuki to have feelings he wasn’t able to confront. when you shake your head no, he decides to leave it at that. as long as its a no, he’s okay without hearing the details.
the two of you wander off to your bedroom. seeing katsuki in it makes it feel complete for the first time in months. you two sit side by side on your bed, just accepting each others existences without anything else to add. theres so many unspoken words, so many tears yet to be shed, yet it was the silence that stung the most.
“i’ve you told you this a million fuckin’ times babe but… i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” he says, running a hand through his hair. he’s at an honest loss for words. he’s starting to think coming all this way was a mistake, especially when he sees the way you tear up over his words. god, he hates himself for this.
the worst part about seeing katsuki on your bed again was knowing that just a few months ago, he laid on some other girls bed. he took the sheets of the bed you made together and crumpled them up. he deflated the pillows and burned the headboard to ash the moment he crossed the threshold onto some other person. it broke you inside just thinking about it, thinking of the other person he kissed, he touched, he made love to. it made your stomach churn.
“do you regret it?” you shakily ask. you need to know. you need to know that he’s absolutely drowing in guilt, his heart tortured by the past. he looks at you like the answer should be obvious.
“every single day.” he proclaims. “its why… its why i has to break up with us. you deserve so much better than me, [y/n].”
you had never seen katsuki looking like such a mess. he could barely look you in the eye while making his desperate attempt to atone for his sins. and you agreed- you deserved better than him. you deserve better treatment, better love, and a better boyfriend.
and you wanted to scream at the sky, at the universe. scream at them, ask them why that person couldn’t be katsuki bakugou? it was god’s cruelest joke to make you fall in love with a bastard like him.
you look over at him. god, you wanna kiss him, touch him again. feel your bodies pressed against each other, lips on lips while his tongue explores the cavern your words erupt from. that warm, area of limbo between your lips when he ever so slightly pulls away, letting you remove his shirt over his head. you wanna hold him, skin against skin, you wanna love him.
even if it meant tasting that other girl on his lips. if you were being honest, you wanted to kiss that taste away for him.
but you couldn’t bring yourself too. not after the way your heart screamed for salvation, for milk and honey, to be loved without having to give the moon in return.
“i don’t forgive you.” you finally muster out. both of you let out a sigh, yours in relief and bakugou’s from anticipation. he knew that would be your answer, but he let himself believe otherwise.
“i know.” he says, shakily looking down, ash blonde locks hanging low. it was so, so fucking funny- what was he expecting anyway? your forgiveness?
“and. i still love you.” you cry.
“i don’t forgive you. not after what you did. i-i… i can still love you without having to forgive you right now.” your conclusion is what hurts him the most, though you both know its whats gonna have to work. you can still love him, because your heart is so utterly his, and still hate him for how he hurt you.
and for katsuki, hearing that you love him, despite everything he’s put you through, is somehow better than forgiveness.
though he is utterly flabbergasted by your words.
how you still love him is a mystery to both of you. he never wants to taste anyone else on his lips other than you. you’re the name on his lips, the chapstick he keeps in his pocket, the hoodies he puts on his pillow and the person who taught him how important heartbreak can be. he’s fucked up, and he may be the biggest fuck-up in all of japan, but this fuck-up just learned how much he loves you.
he bites his lip, not even daring to ruin the moment. he’s not sure if he’s supposed to stay or go. where does he even begin making this up to you?
but he knows what he has to say first.
“i love you too, babe.”
“oh, go fuck yourself.”
tags! 🪽
@sleepieenaps @suki0 @blue-chup @cookielovesbook-akie @ruu-https @sleepyk0dyz @poemzcheng @suksatoru @naladrawssss @theclassiccherry @sikuthealien
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ilypaigebuckets · 6 months ago
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Dating Kate Martin Headcannons!
little head cannon post bc i have so little written for kate! sorry i haven’t been active ive just been so busy but im otw to the lizzy mcalpine concert sorry just doxxed myself maybe?? idk but yay so fun but yeah im not busy after tn like no plans whatsoever 🥳
- kate definitely fell first
- i don’t think she’d be like ACTIVELY looking for a partner i think she just saw you and was like “yep i want that one” but was too scared to actually pursue you
- caitlin definitely had to hype her up to ask you out on a first date
- your guys’ first date is definitely something cozy and personable like a little coffee shop or cafe. even though it’s simple, kate would be so nervous. you guys spend the time together getting to know each other and for your second date you invite her over to your apartment that evening to watch a movie and have dinner
- she definitely kisses you on the second date bc she’s such a uhaul and already knows you’re gonna be special to her
- her love languages are definitely physical touch and quality time, and words of affirmation too!!
- she loves having full on cuddle sessions with you in the mornings, before bed, even in the middle of the afternoon when you guys have a spare moment to kill. she’s the self proclaimed queen of cuddles and always tries to scoop you up into her lap whenever she gets the chance.
- kate always wants to be touching you, no matter where you are. even in public, she’ll be hugging you from behind or holding your hand. her teammates have definitely had to tell her to cool it with the pda once or twice because she’s so enticed by you she totally forgets about everyone else around you two.
- kate’s always making time for you. even if you guys are just studying for your classes in silence or she meets up with you to walk you to your lecture, she enjoys it because it’s with you.
- she wants you to come to all of her games. one time you missed one of her away games due to a family get together and she was really upset by it. she wasn’t mad at you or anything, but she was definitely pouting about how much she missed you.
- kate is such a sweetheart to you. if you’re feeling down about yourself, best believe she will be able to tell!! she writes sweet sayings and positive affirmations on little sticky notes and puts them up on your refrigerator and bathroom mirror for you to look at.
- she loves taking care of you, to her you’re her little baby. if you’ve had a tough week, she’ll lay down with you to take a nap and after you fall asleep she’ll get up and tidy your room up a bit. you wake up feeling so grateful for her but she assures you that she’s just a neat freak and it was her pleasure to
- she’s a super patient, and i think she’d definitely find that attractive in you so i don’t think you guys would have too many fights.
- most of your fights are probably driven by jealousy on either side. kate loves you so much and she sometimes gets paranoid your eyes will wander somewhere else. you love kate just as much, and all of the fans writing flirty comments to her definitely makes you insecure from time to time.
- when you fight, you and kate never yell at each other. you’re more passionate, while she’s more calm and collected so you might shed a few tears trying to prove a point. once she sees that you’re crying, though, it’s game over and she squashes the entire thing and rushes over to hold you in her arms. she hates seeing you upset, and she hates even more that it’s partly because of her.
- kate definitely loves attention and gets annoyed/slightly jealous when you talk to her teammates over her
- “i just don’t understand why you were talking to caitlin for SO LONG y/n. do you think she’s cooler than me?” and she shows her little puppy dog eyes and pouts her lip at you and you almost fall for it
- nicknames: for kate, you definitely call her love, lovebug, baby, sweet little names like that. kate calls you baby, princess and have you guys seen her tattoo that says sunshine? she would definitely call you her sunshine too (i have a fic idea for this so lmk if you want me to write itttt)
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itsmarsss · 6 months ago
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Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 1 - The Prince
How the mighty do fall.
(Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn’t exactly considered classy, Stolas.)
pt 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9 | 2nd bonus
Word count: 1,520
Warnings: I mean. depression. arranged marriage. this part doesn’t contain actual sex only mentions of it but others might idk, me taking myself way too seriously writing this, this has no dialogue but don’t give up on me im actually a pretty dialogue heavy person but this only works if this chapter has no dialogue
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If you ever asked Stolas, he’d say he was never one to cause a scene.
If you asked anyone else, they’d say he’s lying.
Stolas had always been fond of a little drama and drawn to a bit of flair, akin to exaggeration and grandeur like no other. Be it in the way he speaks, acts or reacts to hell around him, be it how he expresses his emotions or his thoughts and even his feelings towards others.
Emotions, thoughts, feelings. Stolas was always full of those, ever since he was an ugly, pink, featherless little project of a bird. They have been all-consuming ever since he can remember. And he remembers.
Stolas can recall the confusion in his father’s voice whenever he cried as a kid, as if the action was strange and foreign, unfit for a demon like him.
And perhaps it was.
Stolas remembered many things, and yet he could not recall a single time he had seen his father cry- or show any sort of weakness, for the matter. Paimon was always stern and centered, and Stolas is sure the only thing close to weakness he’s ever expressed was his inability to be more than his status- to be an actual father. He doubted his father would consider that a weakness.
What was fatherhood next to being royal, anyway, right?
It was disconcerting to grow up certain that, between his father and all of his brothers, he was, without a doubt, the weakest. After all, how could he not be? He was scared, of a many things, most of the time. He felt things too deeply in his heart and he worried too much and too often about way too much. He was well aware of all of that.
But, as he grew up, Stolas decided he was fine with it, if it meant he got to genuinely feel things. Because Octavia had come to exist, and he could never in his heart find the willpower to act as cold to her as his own father did to him.
Yes, he decided he was fine with being weak, if that’s what being able to love unconditionally took. He was fine with being weak, if that’s what being loved took.
He may not have loved his father, or even liked him, for the matter. But he promised to himself he’d do anything it took for Octavia to love him.
And how it filled him with pure and utter joy to feel loved for the first time in his life.
He may not have loved Stella, either, but their union had brought him his daughter, and nothing in the entirety of the universe mattered more to him than her. And so he was grateful for their arrangement, after all, despite the bitterness of it all.
With Octavia’s teenage years came the flood, though. Stolas cried himself to sleep almost every single night for years to come as he was reminded of the fact that being grateful for what his marriage brought him was not enough to make him happy to be in the situation in which he found himself, unable to exist as he was inside of his own home without fearing the judgement of a wife who loved him just as much as he loved her - not even a tiny little bit- and unable to shield his daughter from the unhappy family he’d once feared she would have to endure.
Stella was never someone Stolas particularly liked. In fact, he quite disliked her, from the moment he laid eyes on her as his father told him they were betrothed to one another, at much too young of an age.
At first, it surely was purely the hatred for the fact that his fate was tied to her and there was nothing he could do to escape, and the sense of impending doom that came with every year that passed as he knew he grew closer to approaching the day there would be turning back, and watched the time pass as an expectator of his own life, as there was nothing he could really do but comply.
Royal life had its renounces.
When the day came for their marriage to be sealed, the moment finally materializing itself as real instead of bad news he’d try to push away and avoid dwelling into for too long, Stolas promised himself he’d try to get over those feelings and make an effort to know her better. If they would be tied to one another from this moment on, he could at least try to make it all not so miserable.
It was a task set to fail.
When Octavia was conceived, Stolas felt nothing but relief. After all, this entire situation was based purely on business, all-dependent on the birth of an heir. Which meant, in some way, they were a bit more free than before. However much that can be in the situation they found themselves in.
Relief came first, dread came second. At only 19 years old, what did Stolas know of parenting anyway? Logically, he knew this would be happening. Logically, he’d known that for almost a full decade. Logically, that should have been enough for him to be prepared.
But he felt anything but prepared. How was he, who felt lost at all times, who cried at the slightest things, who didn’t ask for all of this, supposed to be a father? What twisted parameters did he have, considering his own?
He only hoped time would ease those feelings.
Throughout the years, he learned those feelings never do leave you, and that parenthood is forever a state of worry. You never truly feel ready- there’s just not much more that you can do than try your best.
To be loved by Octavia was enough. Or… at least it should be, shouldn’t it? Was it selfish, or perhaps even inconsiderate, unfair to her that at times he found himself longing to be loved by someone whose existence wasn’t bound to him? Wishing to know if someone would ever care not because they were betrothed to him and not because they were his own blood, but simply because they liked who he was? Enjoyed his company? Felt genuine attraction towards him?
When thoughts of the sorts consumed him it was hard not to punish himself mentally for thinking such frivolous things, for having such superficial wishes. But it wasn’t hard to figure out where it all stemmed from. After all, when the only partner you have ever had in your entire life hadn’t any say in choosing you, it’s only natural to wonder what it would be like to be with someone who did choose him.
When you’ve had no say in choosing the only partner you’ve ever had in your life, in turn, it’s only ever natural, too, to wonder what it would be like with someone you would have chosen to be with. Someone who excited you, who made you feel things. Stolas didn’t even know what exactly those things were supposed to be, but spent his days longing to feel them nonetheless.
The day Blitzo, someone he hadn’t heard of in decades, was caught trying to sneak into his palace, during the most depressing party ever thrown in all seven rings, Stolas felt excitement for the first time in a long while. It’s almost like his brain had a reaction before he even processed it, like it was stuck repeating the same thing over and over and over: Friend. Friend. Friend.
Sure, Blitzo wasn’t his friend. They hadn’t been friends for, once again, literal decades. In fact, they had only ever been friends for about a day.
But Blitzo was his first ever friend. And you don’t just forget that. Stolas never would, at least.
And in that night they spent together, something in Stolas changed. That night, he felt wanted. For the first time in his life, he felt desired. For the first time in his life, sex wasn’t just business. It wasn’t just an obligation or a means to an end. For the first time in his life, sex was fun.
He knew it was supposed to be fun. He knew it was fun for most people. He had just stopped hoping it would ever be fun for him.
And, sure, he also knew what they did was wrong. But he couldn’t get himself to care as much as he probably should have, because, truth be told, Stella could pretend to have been hurt by it however much she wanted, but they both knew she never really was.
“That was the sound of a fucking divorce!”
A couple hours later, sitting on his bed in shock, he could still barely believe he had really just done what he did- what they should have done so long ago- and Stolas just started laughing to himself. The more he laughed, the harder it was to stop. He knew he just had to be like a maniac like that, but couldn’t possibly get himself to care, because, for only a split second did the thought of not being supposed to let his servants see him in that state pass through his mind, but it only made him laugh harder.
He’d just announced his divorce to the wife he’d been set to marry since birth, can’t get much more scandalous than that.
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A/N: would you believe me if i said this started as an idea for what was supposed to be only a funny silly little oneshot with dick jokes and public embarrassment?
Requests for Blitzø and Blitzø x Stolas are open! I’m also SO hyperfixated on this show rn so if y’all wanna chat abt hcs or this series be my guest I’d be happy to talk and i don’t bite unless asked nicely luv y’all <3
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iisasxia · 5 months ago
Note
Slight SH mention
Hiya, I wanted to see if I could request a fem reader with sanemi. Reader has a sister with scars all over her arms and thighs who kinda acts like sanemi, and reader tells sanemi that his personality and scars don't bother her because she's used to it. Sorta "you're beauty never really scared me" vibes. If you don't want to no worries, please and thank you.
ahh no worries sweetheart, I’d love to write something like this, especially since it’s Sanemi & it’s such a creative idea !! xoxo - author 🦇🩷
Summary: fem’reader is with Sanemi and sometimes she catches him apologizing for his demeanor but reader reassures him it’s alright because she knows what it’s like seeing as she has an older sibling who acts just the same.
Notes: SELF-HARM WARNING ⚠️ & sfw (safe for work)
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You were currently at the butterfly estate, taking some space in one of Shinobu’s rooms you decided to work on a map of different areas to patrol around nearby villages. The door was open just wide enough for you to see the blue grayish clouds that filled the sky and soft rain fill into the garden. It was peaceful and you were humming a little tune to yourself while you worked away and of course with a little help.
You were sitting on your knees atop a cushion and right below you was your sleepyheaded boyfriend Sanemi. His head was resting on your lap and he, from what it appeared, was asleep. You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, seeing how at peace he looked you smiled and gently ran your fingers through his hair. “Need something?” he asks, from his voice he didn’t sound like he was sleeping, just keeping his eyes closed and resting a bit. “Mnm, just admiring.” Despite his eyes still being closed he could hear the slight smile behind your words. Something hit him, like it tugged on a heart string.. somewhere in the back of his mind he feels like he doesn’t deserve you. You’re such a sweetheart, loved by many and your aura shines in a way that even butterflies are drawn to it. It makes him think if he’s really deserving to be your partner. Why put up with him? How could you handle him? And at that how could you love a man who looks like him? His body full of scars, from his nose down to his legs, and to him it never mattered at first but what if it does to you?
“Nemi’, what’s wrong?” He was so lost in thought he didn’t realize you had been talking to him the whole time. He opened his eyes and was ready to speak until he saw the small frown on your face, he felt even worse now, it feels like he’s doomed to just bring you down or hurt you. “I’m sorry. I never realized how much I dragged you down in our relationship.” He wasn’t looking at you anymore, how could he look you in the eyes? “Sanemi where is this coming from-“ “I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” “For me??” “Yes. I love you for you and because of that I never thought that there could be a possibility you don’t feel the same way. As a Hashira I feel like I know myself and I’m secure in me but as your boyfriend, I wonder what you think of me.” “Sanemi-“ “I know I don’t always say it but you’re perfect y/n. Your aura, your personality, and even just you in general. You’re gorgeous and there’s no way you don’t know that but then I think about how I look standing next to you. These scars.. you don’t think I look weird with them? Maybe even ugly.. I’m not one to doubt my looks but sometimes when I look at you I just ask myself, what made you pick me?”
It was quiet for a moment, he didn’t look at you until he realized the silence and your face made his heart sink. You weren’t crying but you looked so devastated. Shit. Did he make it worse?
“Im sorry I didn’t-“ “I haven’t told anyone else, especially because she’s not happy seeing where I am now, but I have an older sister who is exactly like you.” Sanemi’s eyes widened a little bit in surprise, you have a sister?? “She was a Hashira and retired, but like you she had Marechi blood so she would also cut herself in battles. She would come home with new scars in new places and I couldn’t help but want to take care of her. Instead she would push me aside and use them as a reminder to not go out at night or fight those ‘things’ (demons).” You looked up a bit, now no longer looking at Sanemi as you began to reminisce about those days. “Every morning it was the same routine, scars, pushed aside, and reminded. At first it hurt because I felt so useless but then I realized she was just scared. She didn’t want me to end up like her so she tried to scare me into staying away from the path she took. It didn’t work seeing as I’m a Hashira today. Her and I still haven’t spoken since I announced it to her.” You looked down at Sanemi and noticed he had a small frown on his face. “I love you because I know your heart is pure, but out of fear for others you push them because you don’t want to lose them. Just like my sister. I’ve never found your scars ugly because I know that the cause behind them comes from you caring, protecting people, and just like my sister I accepted them. Not once have I thought they where ugly.” You began running your fingers through his hair again and smiled. “Sanemi, I fell in love with you because your heart showed me who you really are. I know how to love you because I loved someone who was just like you and that will never change. I haven’t stopped loving my sister and I won’t stop loving you. Your scars and your personality are just a bonus for me and I’ll remind you every day by kissing each and every one. So, Mr. Shinazugawa, does that answer your question?”
Sanemi closed his eyes again. His heart was pounding in his chest, he’s never felt so loved and heard until he met you. Somehow you reached a part of him he didn’t even know existed. You kept pulling on his heart strings and he didn’t know how much of it he could take.
“Yes” he calmly said and you smiled in response, going back to humming the song from before and working on the map.
I wonder how long he should wait before finally being able to show you the gift he got you…so you could finally be Mrs. Shinazugawa.
(I know it took a bit ! Sorry luv, I kept editing it but I hope you like it<3)
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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago
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may i request for an angst to fluff fic where y/n's family arranges and forces her to marry into the house of targaryen just to rid of her in a way that it is beneficial to them. she's heard rumors about her soon to be husband, Aemond, and is scared of their family in general but all of that was just thrown out of the window when she finally meets them and sees how he is around his mother and sister thinking she'd rather be a part of this family than her own <3 (smut or no smut, it doesnt matter, as long as we are loved)
Under The Bridge
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Summary: Your parents described your betrothed as a troll, a gremlin, a monster, the perfect candidate for their wretched, useless, stubborn, first born child. Finally, they said, their daughter would be good put to good use.
Word Count: 2k+
Warnings: fem!reader, mentions/depictions of domestic violence, big bro!aemond my love, angst, fluff, typos, etc.
A/N: ok i think im going to get carried away writing this [update] yep i got carried away Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda
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I thought it quite fitting for the day to be wretched. After all, it was the day I would be sent away to be married to a man I did not know to please my parents; my father, that pulled his hair out every time I bested my potential matches, and my mother, who slapped me in an attempt to correct my impetuous behavior.
Yes, finally I would find my use and help my family regain prestige and wealth.
Neither cared to escort me to the carriage out of our decaying estate. The storm had been too strong and the mud puddles too many.
I had my one bag gripped tightly in my arms and cared little for the skirts that were soaking up brown water beneath me. I shouted over the sound of thunder and rain when I ran over to the hooded man, "greetings, my lord, I-"
"I am the envoy of your prince here to pick you up, my lady," he calls under the darkness of his cloak. I could not see his face.
"I see," I say, not at all disappointed that it was not my betrothed that was picking me up, "what is your name?"
He does not respond and so I repeat my question, louder, "what is your name, ser?!"
"Charon," he calls.
I pull my head back, "are you here to take me into the underworld?"
He does not react, so I assume he does not understand my joke. He only pulls back and opens the carriage door for me.
I sigh and hastily get in, slumping down, pulling my heavy skirt, wet with rain and mud, closer to me. He shuts the door with a thud. A few moments later the carriage begins to move.
I busy myself with reading on the way. It was all that I packed, my books. My mother thought she managed to throw them away, but I switched the contents of my bag with my clothing with my books before she could. Anyway, I never cared for my ugly dresses. I figured since I was marrying a prince, he could get me at least one dress to change into. That was more than enough.
The ride was pleasant on my part; I could read in silence, with no interruption, no father to scream at me, no mother to chase me around, and yet as we passed a hump, I was shaken into reality, a reality that the driver, Charon, was manning the carriage outside in the rain.
This was why, when we rain cleared, I knocked on the closed window by the driver's seat and called out for him.
He does not respond.
I rap my knuckles harder, "Charon?"
I am slightly startled when the opening is slid open. He does not say anything. I huff and reach for the sandwich in my bag, sticking it out to the window, "it has gone cold but it should still taste nice. It will help to keep you warm, eating something."
I await as the man twists in his place.
He does not respond still, and so I push my arm out further, "if you would like another, I can give you the one I packed myself. I ate a lot before leaving," as a final act of deviance.
He takes a moment to think of my offer it seems. He finally takes it and I feel his callused hand on mine. I do not miss the bandages on his fingers and palm. I wonder how he got injured.
I vaguely hear him thank me. I mutter again for good measure, "just knock if you want the other."
I start when the knock comes, dropping the book I was finishing onto my lap. I shift in my place and move to reopen the closed area, grabbing my sandwich as I did. I however turn to my side when I the carriage door opens.
I am suddenly faced with a dark haired knight. He bows to me, offering a hand out as he greets me in regard. He proceeds to introduce himself, "Ser Criston Cole, at your service."
"An honor," I nod, straightening myself up, "ser Cole."
He surveys the carriage then turns back to me, "allow me to help you down, my lady."
I place my things back in my bag and take his hand, hopping down next to him, causing mud to splatter on his uniform. We both still when it happens. The shrill chastising of my parents replay in my mind.
"I-"
"An honest mistake, your majesty."
My lips part, "I am not you ma-"
"You are to be wed to my prince in a fortnight," he says, reaching out to my bag as he continues, "you will be soon enough." Criston adds. Once he has my things, he shuts the door, then looks at me, "allow me to escort you to your room."
I nod, sneaking a look past him, looking for the man that brought me here, "where did Charon go?"
"Charon?"
"The driver," I turn back to him, "I meant to give him my sandwich," I say, reaching for the said thing in my bag.
Criston turns from my sandwich to me, brows furrowing, "the... driver has gone to finish his other duties."
I nod, unwrapping the food, "do you want it?"
His lips form a small smile, "a generous offer, but I have already eaten."
I purse my lips, rewrapping the thing, placing it back in my bag. Criston offers his arm out to me. I link arms with him and pull my shoes out of the mud along with my crusty skirt that was getting dirty all over again.
When we reach the entrance, Criston pulls away from me, insisting I walk in first.
Once we are inside, he walks a foot away from me, silently leading me off to my room. I sniffle as I take in the ambiance of the place.
Criston turns to me and I turn to him as he says, "I will have a bath prepared for you."
"Thank you," I smile, "could you have them lend me a dress as well?"
He furrows his brows and I do not wait for him to ask, "I only packed my books, you see."
He turns to my bag as he says this, "ah," he turns back to me, "I thought your clothes were merely stiff."
I snort, breaking into a laugh.
I notice how Criston's shoulders relax and how his nostrils flare slightly.
We take a left to a well-lit corridor. Criston opens the door for me once we reach the room. He places my things on a table as I make my way towards a vanity, seeing just how disheveled and wet I was.
"The servants will come to attend to you soon."
"Than-"
"Thank you, ser Criston," a commanding voice calls, startling me in the process. A red haired woman walks towards me, nodding to the knight in regard. Criston returns the sentiment before offering me the same thing and walking off.
"Apologies for startling you," the woman says, hands clasped in front of her.
I bow, eyes downturned.
You are not too look any of them in the eye if you wish to live, do you understand?
"Not at all, queen mother," I speak as I hear my pulse quicken in my ribcage.
The woman walks over to me, the Hightower colors are bright in her dress. I gulp, knowing what would come next. I hold myself back from stepping away.
"Let me look at you," she announced, reaching out for me.
I suck in a breath and catch her gaze when he takes my cold face in her warm hands. Her brown eyes are wide as she takes me in, the curve on her cheeks and jaw resemble none of the vicious remarks my father told me about her. Her pursed lips barely move when she speaks, "my, your mother was just in her musings of your beauty."
I clench my jaw.
"Surely then, I expect you to be as astute as she makes you out to be," she utters, pulling her hands away, "prince Aemond is truly a fair match for you."
I nibble on my lower lip, recalling the disgusting words my father had to offer about the said prince, "I am honored by your regard, Queen Alicent."
"Yes," she sighs, "well, you must hurry and get cleaned up." .
The moment she speaks this, it is as though the servants were summoned, and not that it was a happy coincidence.
I turn my eyes back to the floor as I bow again.
"My son said that he would wait for you in the gardens."
I nod, "I will head there the moment I am ready, your grace."
"Very good," she speaks one last time before heading off. Once she is gone and it is only me and the servants, I release the breath I held out of instinct.
The point between my bath and my going to the gardens was blurred by the vivid recount of my dreadful parent's words against the family I was marrying into.
Just close your eyes if his face is too much to bare. Turn your face away when you are coupling. The smart head you like claim to have will do you no good there. Just be silent and obedient and you will keep your head.
I snap into reality when I hear the sound of laughter once I reach the open space. I see two heads of light blonde hair just past a few shrubs. That must be the witch-sister my father was talking about.
I could not hear what they were conversing over, but it was clear that they were having a moment. It would be most improper to barge in on them.
And yet as I stood in my place, I thought of what would be the consequence if I did not show myself.
I gulp in air and walk over to them, "your majesties."
I hold my breath when they turn to me. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting a smiling, eye-patched prince and a beaming princess with a flower in her hair.
The next happening came to be all too quickly.
"Would you like to see my spider?" the woman calls, dashing over to me with a large black spider in her hand.
I recoil at her words, and before I could turn her down, she places the long legged thing onto my shoulder, making my eyes grow wide and my body to freeze into a brick. It took everything in me not to smack the insect away. What would happen if I kill the princess's spider?
I clench my jaw and my fists tightly, gulping the lump in my throat.
Perhaps it could kill me first.
"Helaena!" the man calls, dashing forward, grabbing the insect on my body, handing it back to her sister. I shiver and step back once I am free of the creepy-crawly.
Helaena looks up at her brother and knits her brows. He begins to tell her something in a foreign tongue and whatever it is makes the woman's face dampen. She turns to me, bowing with a pout, "apologies, my lady."
I shudder then suck in a sharp breath, "I..." I feel my chest tighten when she removes the flower in her hair. She was like me, rebuked for something she liked.
I force a confidence voice after gulping heavily, "I am honored to meet your spider," my breath hitches, "but I do not like spiders."
"What a shame," she says rather dejectedly.
"Perhaps it be best if you go back to your chambers," her brother mutters as the spider begins to crawl up her arm.
I step back at the sight of it.
She nods, "perhaps."
I move farther when she passes me, mostly because her shoulder near me was where the spider was perched on.
I watch as she leaves. I sigh at the sight of her fluttering hair.
When I turn to the prince, I reel back when I find him stood so close to me. Upon seeing my reaction, he does me the courtesy of stepping back as well.
I heave from my mouth then bow, "prince Aemond."
He watches me as I rise then offers me a quick nod. He sighs, placing his hands behind him, "I am thankful you did not squash her spider."
I cringe at the thought, "I'd have squashed it on my skin," I shake my head rapidly, "that would be no good."
For a moment, he only looks at me. I only manage a few seconds before needing to turn away from his gaze. I only turn back when he raises his hand out, "care to walk with me?"
I reach for his hand, and it is only then that I realized that he had bandages on. I turn to our joined palms then back to his face.
He catches how I observe him and this grip on me tightens as he visibly stiffens, "a riding injury."
I debate his words, wondering how he would get injured like that.
He proceeds to answer me as if he heard my thought, "my dragon, Vhagar, was flying fiercely upward. It was hard to keep hold. I had blisters for days."
I pull back when he releases my hand. I turn to his arm when he offers it to me instead. I place my palm on his bicep as we continue to walk off.
The next moment, I suddenly realize why the bandages on his hands were striking to me.
"You," I turn to him, "are Charon."
He keeps his gaze upfront.
I cannot help but smile in amusement over his obvious reaction to my words-- not reacting. I allow my lips to release a chuckle, "you were gauging me."
"..."
"Worry not," I look out to some flowers by the side, "I too am scared to get married."
I feel him turn to me, but I do not feel like returning his look.
"Is it marriage," he calls, "or me that you are scared of?"
I take a moment before turning back to him; his one eye is expectant and I swear I see his covered one twitch. "Both," I utter simply, "but at least now that I know that we're both scared, I have found a semblance of solace."
We continue walking in silence after my admission.
I await for him to burn my words, to wholeheartedly disagree with my verdict, much like all the other men that I was jostled into, lest they find themselves caught agreeing with a stupid woman. I am surprised that he does nothing and merely continues walking with me in silence.
He catches my shocked reaction, it seems, and raises his nose, "I was concerned."
I softly snort in humour, "as one would be."
His lips curve slightly into a smile but he does a good job of making it unobvious, "I was concerned you would be haughty, vain, irritating."
"And you decided I was not in the silence of our travels?"
He ignores this, "I am aware your parents are eager for the alliance because your coin has run low."
"That," I tilt my head, "amongst other things."
Aemond narrows his eye, "like what?"
"Well for one, they are overjoyed to rid of me," I pull a smile before breaking into a smile.
I catch the expression that twists onto his face. He does not believe me. He furrows his brows in challenge, "you mother speaks nothing but exaggerated ideations of you."
I shake my head as I chuckle, "and I am glad that it has landed me a husband who cares for his sister."
He stops upon hearing this. I turn to him when he does. He pulls away from me to place his hand behind his back again. I watch him as he looks off and sucks in a deep breath.
"I will not ask much of you," he mutters, slowly turning back to me, "I wish to only fulfil my duties; I require of you to do the same is all."
Aemond's face is sincere, or at the very least he looks and sounds as though he is in that moment. I nod at his words, placing my own hands behind my back, "indeed I am glad my mother could at least do this one thing for me."
He raises his chin, hands falling to his sides. He shifts on his leg as a breeze blows past his blonde hair. He nods, "come, there is more to see in the gardens."
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biaonww · 9 months ago
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"something about you" rin itoshi based • angst based on not-so-bf trope <3
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may contain errors, similar content is coincidental.
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watching rin itoshi’s match is always mesmerizing. he shines in destroying things that are close to him.
it’s complete monstrosity when he plays, which is the complete opposite of his brother sae’s gameplay. 
a completely calculated person, while rin is a monster. 
but still—
why does rin still shine so much?
why does he stand out the most in your eyes, as if he was a twinkling star in the sky you would wish on?
why is he so captivating, yet always out of your hand?
bothered by your thoughts, rin wins his match. of course, another easy win for him. 
… but its noisy. it hurts your ears. 
announcers announcing his win.. interviewers excitingly waiting for him to get out of the stadium and start asking him questions… the horn sounds and people shrieking….
but everything goes quiet when he manages to find you straight away. 
no matter how many people are in the stalls—
his eyes always seem to capture you.
those beautiful eyes that could even challenge a diamonds beauty.
but there he is again, confusing you. 
he’s looking at you pleadingly, right after he scored the last shot.
shouldn’t he be focused on the crowd, and the way they scream his name in joy?
did he maybe finally realize that he left you mesmerized every single time?
did he maybe finally realize that you were always admiring him from afar?
or will he push you away again when he gives you mixed signals?
you sigh thinking of it, so you stand up, going to the exit of the stadium.
but once you finally reach the corridor, you see rin. 
so you pause from walking, while he jogs towards you.
“you should celebrate your win, itoshi.” you remark. 
“don’t call me itoshi.” he says in a tone that sounds like he’s still trying to catch his breath, while gripping your arm tightly.
(but of course, not in a way that would hurt you. he wouldn’t want that.). 
“i think it is only proper of me to call you itoshi. considering you never let me see what’s under your disguise.”
“i said don’t call me itoshi.”
“fine then.”
“— you know what, rin? i actually think it’s better if you keep pushing me away.”
“i mean i don’t know if you’re just another unreachable dream, or a one-in-a-million person i can achieve.”
“but i also don’t know if you’ll destroy me. which i’m scared of.”
“after all, you said everything that grows close to you soon tears down.”
you look at the floor, eyes slowly but surely becoming watery. 
rin stays quiet, his gaze softening when you immediately look down. 
“… if you’re scared of me destroying you, then i’ll try and treat you like a delicate flower.”
“if you ever get scared, i’ll stay by your side to keep you safe.”
“if you hate the noise, then i’ll cover your ears for you.”
“if i don’t show my true self to you, then i’ll lower my guard for you.”
“just don’t leave like everyone does. not like nii-san.”
“but instead stay. i’m humbly asking you to stay right now.”
“i’m sorry that i give you mixed signals. but give me a chance to prove myself to you, please?”
“i’m not perfect. i’m not the best yet. love is foreign to me. we may have fights and disagreements when we’re together. but for you, i’ll try.”
you finally look up at him, the tears in your eyes spilling out already.
but he wipes them for you, and looks at you so fondly. 
“then why couldn’t you do all this in the first place, you idiot?” you mumble. 
“i’m sorry.”
“but what’s your answer? will you accept me, or not?”
he chuckles softly, slowly letting down his facade for you. and only you. 
“… you know it’s a yes, rin.”
— fin.
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now that im rereading this, it actually looks so SHITTY WTF... but i hope its good enough to be posted </3 reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated pls !! (btw, tags kinda foreshadow the fic so hehe)
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wisteriaphobia · 4 months ago
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Alright time to come out, not out of the closet, but I am Nat (Or Lilnatx) . I wanted to come here and share my story or fairy tales if you don't like me. I was a part of “clique 1”
Not to use my age like a pokemon card but I am 15, and I don't care what you have to say to me personally but I'm sick and tired of my name being dragged through the mud and being used as a scapegoat. But I have lots of pent up anger that I didn't have the privilege of saying.
April 3rd was the day I was banned from nevermore, with no proof. Like at all, I'm still bamboozled and scratching my head like a monkey on what was actually on me and my friends. We were accused of “shit talking” and I have yet to see the shit that we have allegedly talked about.
And honestly? Even if I did shit talk people, why… in a conversation about a predator … does that matter? I'm exhausted with how Red always fights with teenagers (like me) and other friends of mine. It's so despicable that the minions might just leave Gru for her instead. I was in gym class when I got banned and honestly? I would rather get banned 10 more times than do another plank for 2 minutes while seeing my P.E teacher's bald head.
My crimes that I did publicly (in the screenshot that red posted) is me being.. not fucking involved? Right before I got banned I was staying away from people that I previously did not enjoy and in fact I tried my best to not interact with them directly. At one point I had many members blocked on my discord because I was tired of being the villain.
Yet here I am in the year of our lord July of 2024 and people are still referring to my friends as “nats clique” like I said earlier im 15, quince. I have little power over my friends' actions , especially if they're an adult. I can barely get Laci to join me on Minecraft let alone make her collaborate on some high tech scheme, what is this shit? Oceans 11?
I find it petty that red refers to my friends as a “clique” we're a friend group, and the definition of a clique requires a group that's hard to get into. The server (until now) was open, you could pull up to Jinx's profile like a McDonald's drive through and get an invite. Our friend group was constantly expanding and if you personally felt like you were scared to talk to us, I'm sorry that you never experienced the poop closet jokes.
Red being paranoid about what a bunch of teenagers were maybe saying behind her back to deflect about crimson is quite irresponsible I do say so myself. So please Red! With a cherry on top! Show me what I did to you. What sin have I committed on your ego that should banish me to hell. Because I sure as hell don't know what I've done, (and you can quote this) you probably don't know what I've done either, because you made it all up.
Unfortunately I have no screenshots to give, because my phone storage is ass. But you can hit up any of the members of my clique for proof regarding my innocence. I promise I'm not an evil bitch who wants to ban you (not evil not evil no I'm the least evil person I know)
I'm sorry if this response upsets you, but if a 15 year old girl who ships who chicks bothers you so much. Imagine how I feel, imagine now so many people who once looked up to you feel. Everyone in your post looked up to you once as a role model, and have had panic attacks and stress because (allegedly) you harmed them with your cruel words. You can think it's your fault or not that's not my problem.. but for someone who wants evidence and proof 24/7 you sure like to not give out proof of anyone else.
P.S if you were anyone who gave red evidence of my wrong doings, can I see them? Cause I don't know what I have done.
P.P.S I'm not a man, and I write fanfiction of lesbian vampires.
P.P.P.S this is so not sigma that I gotta make this response
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sprimpfriedrice · 4 months ago
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White dungeon meshi fans sound like this to me:
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It's extremely fascinating and frightening to me how hateful some of you people are towards shuro, a man who is clearly depicted as japanese, (a man who could look like me or literally any member of my family in real life) for being a normal, complex, and flawed human being.
Why do you single him out for getting frustrated with and mad at laios when chilchuck and marcille do the same literally all the time? What's the difference between them and shuro?
Why do you feel the unnecessary need to protect these white women from a japanese man?
Do you expect that this japanese man is inherently going to have some kind of ugly negative quality that has not been once hinted at canonically? Do you know what that's called? Because i do and it's fucking racism.
You people get scared the moment a character that is a person of color isnt a quiet little model minority or a sweet mammy archetype. You grasp at your pearls the moment they are revealed to have complex personalities and histories; when they feel negative, big emotions that are literally part of the human experience. Or god forbid, when they show romantic interest in a pure, helpless, little white woman.
And when a person of color stops behaving good and docile the way you want, when they decide that theyre not going to put up with a situation that makes them uncomfortable or miserable or RIGHTEOUSLY FURIOUS, they become the bad guy. As seen countless times in the medias demonizing depiction of the Black Lives Matter protests and even of black people who get punished for just living their lives. It happens so often i shouldnt have to reiterate it to you but it somehow keeps flying over your head.
And when that dirty, conniving, perverted, slant eyed, buck toothed, stumpy little japanese man understandably snaps at the white person you guys are projecting onto and all you see is this:
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So dont be surprised when i say that id rather kill myself than entrust the safety of my oldest aunts and uncles or my youngest cousins with any of you who act like this. Im terrified of what could have happened if people like you worked at the facility that my great grandmother lived out her final years in. Would you have seen her as a wild animal that needed to be subdued too when she had one of her many dementia-induced violent episode?
I will not apologize for saying that i find it deeply disconcerting to see so many of you happily posting hateful vitriol or even about committing acts of violence against a man that looks like me, solely because he was experiencing his humanity
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a-boca-do-inferno · 11 months ago
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beija minha boca até me matar (tony montana x reader) [request]
summary: Tony is stressed and you are tired.
warnings: angst, swearing, abuse and sort of fluff.
words: 0.8k
notes: this is small and very anemic plot wise, so im sorry for that. loosely based on doce vampiro by rita lee.
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Sometimes you wondered if your love would stop enduring at some point. If no matter how much you wanted to be with him, someday your body and soul would finally give in to the exhaustion, because that’s how you felt. Exhausted. God, what time was it? It felt so long since you’ve last rested. Insomnia was a big thing these days with all the chaos around you, the gang fights, the power struggles; you understood nothing of it, but at times you wish you did. Maybe you’d be able to help Tony in the slightest, offer him some comfort. And you tried, oh, did you try. But it was just to no avail.
He was as restless as you, although he tried to disguise it as his customary anger towards the world. You could sense it whenever he was close, when his hand would tremble just a little as he gulped down a glass of whisky in one go. When the crease between his brows would become only a little bit more noticeable. When he’d only swear once, as though not even those silly words were enough to somehow soothe him anymore. You did your best to try and give him some solace, but while your kisses pleased his face, his arms would fall coldly frigid at his sides. He wasn’t in the moment, and that was so uncharacteristic of him.  
You felt helpless at those times, often choosing to leave him in his office and go to your bed, crying in silence until the sun was up again. He would spend his nights away from your room, causing you to entertain thoughts maybe about you actually being the problem, not his issues in the drug business. You never dared touch anything other than alcohol and that was perhaps something that lingered in the back of his mind, still. Would he think you’d eventually turn on him, sell him out to the police? Sometimes he’d call you “good Samaritan”, because in his own words, “you’re too clean, too good, too uptight. What the fuck are you doing with me?”, and wasn’t that the million-dollar question?  
What the fuck, indeed? 
“You rely too much on people, Manny. That’s your fucking mistake”, comes his loud, deep voice from the corridor. You close your eyes in contempt, not really wanting to listen to one of his lectures again. God bless Manny for being able to do it more than you. “I say, fuck people. I can do anything by myself.” 
“Because it’s been working so well so far”, you let it slip out, causing him to give you a death glare. Tony didn’t scare you easily, contrary to popular belief, but he could become quite scary when he felt like it. This was one of those times. 
He huffs, walking towards you slowly, “what did you just say, princess? You think you can disrespect me in my own fucking house, drinking my own fucking whisky that I bought? Is that it?”
He’s agitated, and you unconsciously flinch when he sits beside you, like a lion cornering its prey. You can’t help but shake your head, looking away from his hard eyes. “You know I don’t like when you talk to me like that”, you say softly, albeit your words carry weight to them. You don’t say them to him very often, surprisingly, but when you do… He better watch his reply. Tony knows that.
So, he does. “Mi amor”, he coos immediately, his frown fading in a second when he seems to come to his senses. You are practically crawling on the couch, in fetal position, guarding yourself from his touch, and he notices this. Tony extends his rough hand and rubs your thigh gently, nuzzling your neck, trying to make you more at ease in his presence. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m fucking stupid, I’m a fucking jerk. I’m sorry”, he speaks quietly, but firmly, his deep voice vibrating on your skin.
Then, there comes your answer. No matter how many times he let stress get the best of him, and no matter how many of his motivations you simply did not understand: Tony was Tony, your Tony, and he would always be. So, you let yourself be wrapped in his big arms once more in silence, simply enjoying his warmth. He felt like home and he was home, as inhabitable as he could become at given times. It was like loving a vampire. Having your life be sucked out of you everyday, yet always craving for more. A delicious poison.
And somehow, all exhaustion dissipated when he got closer to you, serving like a long nap after a tough day. It seemed like you were the complement to one another. Maybe that was the reason you were still here, after all.
Enduring.
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strniohoeee · 1 year ago
Text
Envious
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader (chubby reader)
Synopsis: Y/N just hates her body, and although the triplets try to make her feel better some hate comments get to her. But Chris is there to make her feel better🫂
Warnings⚠️: None she cute asf or whatever 🤭
Song for the imagine: Jealousy, Jealousy-Olivia Rodrigo
I’m so sick of myself
I’d rather be, rather
Anyone, anyone else
I hated how scrolling through instagram made me feel. Perfect bodies, white teeth, long healthy hair, perfect boyfriends…..just everything I’ve ever wanted. I tried not to fall down this rabbit hole, but it never worked out.
I would scroll and scroll until I felt physically sick. I would then exit out of instagram and stare at myself in the mirror pointing out everything I hated about myself. My skin oily and acne prone, my hair boring, my eyebrows too thin and light, my lips not big enough, my nose huge, my body disgusting. I hated my body with a burning passion.
Curves are good but not my curves. My curves are considered fat and unattractive.My breasts too big, my stomach not flat…bending over and seeing “rolls” God I fucking hated it. My thighs too big, my ass not fat enough….it's brutal. I'm not sure why it mattered what my body looked like. I also wasn’t sure why I cared so much about what people thought of me. I hated it, and I tried to hide myself away and shelter myself from any mean comments.
I tried not to be in the triplets videos because I saw the way some of these “fans” treated Madi, and that girl is perfect….I could only imagine what they would say about me. They even body shamed Chris and it was insane to me. They talked about it in a video saying that body shaming was disgusting and it doesn’t matter what people look like, we're all humans and all our bodies are different. I agreed, but I couldn’t believe these things about myself.
Chris so badly wanted to film a TikTok with me because we both were wearing the same FreshLove shirt, and black pants, and at first I rejected it, but after some convincing I decided to film it with him. I sucked it up and decided to have fun with my friend.
“Okay let’s do the “she wish there were two of me” trend, and like I’ll say it, and then stick my hand out and you’ll slide into frame and high five me” he said
“I love that trend, let’s do it” I said laughing
He set up his phone and started recording, lip syncing
“Walk in that Bih with with that Loui V” he said, and then looked over at me backing away from the camera
“She say she wish there were two of me” he said backing up and high fiving me as I came into frame
We started dancing, and he slung his arm over my shoulder “she fuckin, she know what she doing, B” We sang laughing and dancing
We finished filming and he posted the TikTok. For once I actually wasn’t scared of him posting me because I genuinely felt cute in my outfit today. My FreshLove shirt was cropped and I had my favorite pair of flare leggings on.
“I finally got you to film with me” he said jumping around
“Yeah that's a one time occurrence” I said laughing
“Oh come onnnn so many people want you in more of our videos” he said looking at me
“Yeahhhh, but I don’t know sometimes your guys fans are a little mean” I said looking down
“Yeah well fuck those haters those aren’t fans” he said scoffing
Later on that night Chris, Matt, Nick and I were in their living room playing board games while some random movie played in the background. We were all having a great time until I got a text message, I looked at my phone to see my best friend texting me
My baby🥹
-Hey babes….Im not sure that you’ve seen the comments under Chris video with you, but they’re disgusting and don’t let that shit get to your head
My heart sank immediately, my breathing getting shallow, my throat constricting and my palms getting sweaty. What the fuck is she talking about….
I opened up TikTok and went to Chris' video opening up the comments….my mouth instantly going dry
-“I know she didn’t crop a FreshLove shirt when she’s fat🤣”
-“I hope Chris isn’t dating her, that's actually sad….he must be desperate😗”
-“Why does she think she’s so hot??? Like what am I missing LMFAOOO”
-“oh that’s not- LMFAOO WHAT IS THIS GIRL DOING”
-“makes sense why she isn’t in the video anymore….she really let herself go”
-“Is that Y/N??? When did she gain so much weight??”
These comments made my stomach churn, and my face burn with embarrassment. The one day I feel cute I’m completely torn apart by these so called “fans”
“Chris you have to take that video down of us” I said looking at him
“What?? Why I love it” he said
“Just take it down” I said
“I love that video too don’t delete it” Nick said
“I don’t want it up” I said avoiding eye contact
Matt pulled out his phone to open the video, he opened the comments and immediately his eyes were saddened
“What the fuck” he said scrolling through the comments
Chris snatched the phone from him reading the comments
“This is fucking disgusting….Y/N don’t believe this shit okay” he said looking at me
“How can I not? These are things I see too, and to have your followers point them out is making me feel disgusting�� I said
“None of this shit is true okay” Nick said looking at me
“I just want to be left alone right now” I said standing up
I went down to Chris’ room where I would stay when I spent the night. I laid on his bed. Letting the comments replay in my head. My heart racing and my breathing getting deep……I was starting to have anxiety about the comments and slowly I allowed myself to cry
The tears just flowed like a stream. I tried not to let these comments get to me, but it’s hard when people are judging you on the internet and they don’t even know you. I was letting out choked sobs, trying to cover my mouth to control my sobs. This was so unfair.
I heard the door open, so I figured it was Chris. He shut the door behind him, and sat at the end of the bed as I cried
“I know you don’t want to talk and that’s okay, but I want you to listen to me” he said
“I know it’s hard to not believe what people are saying on the internet, trust me I do, but I want you to know that those comments are from a bunch of children being haters okay. None of that shit is true at all. You’re a beautiful, funny and kind souled person” Chris said
I started to calm down, allowing my tears to stop, and trying to control my breathing.
“You don’t have to change for anyone okay. Stay true to yourself. You are amazing and don’t let these haters behind a screen get to you” he said rubbing my leg
“Thank you Chris” I said in a whisper
“Of course Y/N. I’m always here for you” he said smiling at me
I wiped my eyes and began to sit up
“Follow me” he said getting up, I got up and followed him to his bathroom
“What are you doing?” I asked
He walked into the bathroom and turned the lights on
“You’re going to stand in the mirror and look at yourself, you’re going to point out what you find unattractive about yourself, and I’m going to tell you why they’re beautiful” he said standing behind me, and placing me in front of him
“Chris no…” I said looking at him through the mirror
“I’m not letting you leave till you do it” he said shrugging his shoulders
“Ugh fine” I said looking in the mirror, at my swollen eyes, the tears down my face and my lips swollen
“Let’s start with your hair” he said
“I hate it…..it’s boring it’s flat it’s ugly” I said
“Wrong! It’s beautiful. It’s long and shiny and you take the best care of it. It always smells so good” he said looking at me
I just looked at him blushing slightly
“Go on” he said nodding his head
“My eyebrows…they’re so thin and light….and my eyes the color is ugly” I said
“Wrong again! Your eyebrows shape your face beautifully, and your eyes are gorgeous. The way the sun hits them and they sparkle, and the way your lashes are so long and showcase your eyes beauty” he responded
“Do we have to keep going?” I said blushing
“Yes you must” he said
“I hate my lips they aren’t big enough, and I hate my teeth and my smile” I said
“Your lips are pretty. Always glossed, always plump and full. And your teeth….your smile is my favorite thing” he said
“Are you flirting with me?” I said
“I may be” he said giving me a sly smirk
I started to smile and roll my eyes
“Look at that beautiful smile” he said pointing at me
“Chris shut up” I said giggling
“Keep going” he said nodding
“Uhh I hate my boobs they’re too big” I said avoiding eye contact
“Umm I’m going to be careful with my words here, but uhh a real man will never complain about big tits, and I happen to be a real man” he said looking at me making a funny face
“I like how you say you’re going to be careful with your words, and then say some crazy ass shit” I said laughing
“I meannnn I could say something way worse, but I’ll keep that for another time” he said winking
I rolled my eyes at him
“I hate my stomach” I said fidgeting with my hands
“Remember when we went to that museum, and we saw all those sculptures of Aphrodite and those renaissance women and they all had bigger stomachs. Well there was a reason, bigger women were the beauty standard at one point, and the most powerful beautiful women were on the thicker side. I think a woman with meat on her bones is hot. I mean I love all women, but the thicker the better” he said
I just stared at him in awe as I blushed
“Keep going” he said
“I hate my thighs, and the fact that my ass isn’t as fat as it should be” I said
“Let me tell you something, thick thighs save lives, and I live by that okay. The bigger the thighs the better, and so what if you don’t have this crazy huge ass. Your ass is great. I’ll be vulnerable here…I sneak a look any chance I get” he said throwing his hands up in defense
“You creeper” I said laughing
“I can’t help it. When there’s all this woman in my face I just go dumb” he said looking over my body
“You have a way with words” I said sucking my teeth
“It’s all honesty though. Like I said you’re beautiful inside and out, you’re a kind soul, you’re nice, you’re funny, you’re hot….I mean you’re everything a man could want” he said
He came up behind me wrapping his hands around my waist and squeezing me tight, laying his head on shoulder
“Never let anyone tell you otherwise” he said looking at me through the mirror
“Okay” I said in a whisper
“Now give me that beautiful smile” he said pouting
“Shut up Chris” I said laughing
“There it goes!! My favorite” he said smiling with me
He turned me around and pulled me in tighter
“You’re amazing I can’t stress that enough” he said
“Thank you Chris” I responded pulling away from the hug
“Let me take you on a date” he said looking at me
“Okay, yeah I’d like that” I said getting shy
“Don’t get shy on me now Y/N” he said lifting my head up with his chin
“Lets go out tomorrow” he said looking at me
“Sure Chris” I said smiling
He smiled at me before wrapping his arm over my shoulder pulling me in and kissing my cheek
“Now let’s get back to having some fun” he said as we walked out his bathroom and he shut the light off.
We went back up to the living room where we continued to play games and watch movies. These guys were amazing…especially Chris
The End
Alright guys I hope you liked this one 😚 and I honestly think I’m going to open up my requests because I’m all out of ideas as of rn😭 LOVE YALLLL🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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vxperorchist · 1 year ago
Text
3 words, 8 Letters.
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Kazuha, Alhaitham, Tighnari, Cyno, and Childe x Gn! Reader.
Saying "I love you" for the first time in the relationship.
Im going through a hardcore fluff phase right now, when this phase ends prepare for a soul shattering angst piece maybe .
Warnings: Tiny bit of arguing in Childe's part.
Theme: Fluff!
Kazuha
He said it first. Kazuha has been wanting to say it for a while, and he's not afraid to speak his mind. He wasn't scared that you didn't reciprocate the feeling, he was struggling with timing. He struggled to find an intimate time when it was just the two of you.
The two of you had called it a night, you were curled up in his bed, waiting for him to accompany you. Kazuha was taking his time writing, something he did frequently.
He eventually finished and crawled into bed with you. You rolled over to face him, smiling as he laid a hand gently on your neck. He observed your face, he had seen it a million times and never once got tired of it.
You cupped his face and kissed him gently, laying your head on his chest afterwards. "On days like these I find myself falling helplessly in love with you." He whispered.
Alhaitham
You said it first. The two of you had been dating for quite a while, the phrase had never been that significant to him. The two of you were very mature, and kept your relationship private.
You had thought about saying it to him for a while, purely to see how he would react. You knew your relationship was complex, it was fragile too. That's why you didn't rush to tell Alhaitham that you loved him.
You were in his office for a minute, talking about akademiya business. You never lingered too long around him in public. The two of you acted like you almost didn't know eachother.
You turned to leave his office, stopping in the doorway. "Oh and by the way Alhaitham, I love you."
Tighnari
You said it first. Tighnari planned on saying it to you, but you managed to beat him to it. You said it by accident too, making it quite the joke for a while.
You two were patrolling the forest, (it was meant to be a fun activity to walk through the forest together, but Tighnari always turned it into work.)
You were holding his hand, and he stopped to check on a few plants every now and then along the trail. However, this time he stopped at a beautiful flower. It was a beautiful orange, fading to pink at its tips.
He rambled about the flower, he told you where you could find it, how it only blossomed at a certain time of year and so on. You couldn't help but admire him, how he spoke so confidently and looked so good doing it.
"This is why I love you Tighnari."
Cyno
He said it first. Cyno over thought those few words so badly. He was so confident in his ability for many things, but romantic things were not on that list.
He was a hopeless romantic, but he tried. He really did love you, which is why he told you so first.
The two of you were hanging out with Tighnari that day, both of you walking back over to the desert. You did most of the talking along the way, talking about anything and everything. "Oh to be loved like Tighnari loves his plants." You joked, getting no response from Cyno but a puzzled look.
"I love you like Tighnari loves his plants."
Childe
You said it first. With that being said you didn't mean to say it when you did, you didn't want to say it first, and nor did he want you to.
You understood Childe's field of work. Did you agree with it? No. However you could put up with it for him. You loved him and that's what mattered to you.
Childe came back to you with more injuries, some getting increasingly worse. "For the love of the gods, would you please be more careful?" You asked, almost demanding as he was standing in the doorway in front of you. "Stop lecturing me for doing what I'm ordered to do. You knew what you were signing up for, if you're so upset about it, why are you still with me?" He shot back, unintentionally raising his voice.
"Because I love you." You whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.
(He apologized repeatedly, showering you with attention for the rest of the night.)
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bangchansgirlsblog · 1 year ago
Note
part three of the way you look at her?
-🩷
The way you look at her.
Finale :)
**
"What do you mean Hyunjin?"
"We can't be together because I'm not ready to fall in love, I'm not ready to love someone the way I love you. I'm scared, terrified."
"Then why are you with Mina Hyunjin? Please tell me what's going on." I looks at the man standing In front of me. Begging him to give me answers. He was confusing me.
"I-I thought maybe dating her could get me distracted from you. I thought maybe I could stop loving you the way I love you."
"But hyunji-"
"We can't Y/n. I'm scared. I can't put myself in that position. Not again. I'm not ready. Please forgive me." He softly says. His hands slowly let go of mine.
"Hyunjin listen to me. No matter what. I will wait for you because I love you. If takes you years or decades I'll wait for you-"
"No you can't Y/n, I can't put that weight on you. You need someone one to love you and take care of you."
"Hyunjin, I love you and-"
"Please let me go Y/n if you know what's best for us." He softly says as a tear drops onto his palm.
"Look me in my eyes and tell me to leave Hyunjin." I beg him. I beg him because I couldn't do it. I couldn't walk away from him. Away from us.
"Y/n...don't do this," he gasps looking up at me.
"If you really don't want me tell me to leave." I tell him firmly. My hand squeeze tight and my knuckles slowly turn white.  My body feeling limp.
He takes a pause before finding my eyes again. His cheeks are stained and his eyes are red.
"Y/n, please leave." That's all I needed to hear.
"Oh.." I softly say.
"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I don't want to lose you."
"Okay," my heart starts to slow down. The world spinning around me as I watched him get up from the bed and leave the room.
I was left there to suffer with my thoughts. My heartbreaking thoughts.
I grab my bags and head downstairs where everybody is sitting. Including him.
"Hey Y/n? Where are you going?" Changbin yells across the room.
"Oh um, im not feeling well. I'm just going to head home now." I feel his eyes following my every move. I feel his eyes burning two holes at the back of my head
"What? Why? You can't leave! We have movie night tonight." Felix says getting up from his sitting position.
"I'm sorry, I just can't." I leave the house as fast as I can. The rain beating against my body.
By the time I get to my apartment I'm soaking wet. My phone had many missed calls and the cold was getting to my chest.
I shiver while running a hot shower and putting everything away plus my clothes in the dryer.
The constant reminder of what had happened minutes ago keeps playing in my mind.
Little sobs escaping my mouth as I enter the shower and stand there. The heat burning my skin like I deserved it. I deserved the pain.
I was stupid for letting alchohol get me to that point I was stupid for telling Hyunjin how I felt. I should have kept quiet.
He was obviously not ready for a real relationship like he said but poor Mina was being dragged into this because he wanted to avoid me. The poor girl.
My body trembles as the sobs get louder and louder. The shower wasn't supposed to take long but here I was sitting in it for an hour.
"You can't do this to yourself  Y/n," I whisper to myself as I get out of the shower.
Slowly I make my way to the room and get dressed.
And lay in bed.
*
The banging on the door was what woke me up. I groan and look over at the night stand to see it's 2 in the morning.
Who could possibly be at my door at 2 am in the morning?
I get up out of bed and make my way to the door.
Opening it and finding Hyunjin standing outside. With bags in his hands.
"I fucked up." He says before breaking down.
"Hyunjin?" I ask confused. Then the events from earlier on today play in my mind and tears prick in my eyes. “Hyunjin you told me to leave-“
"Please, Y/n listen to what I have to say. Please?" He asks.
He was wearing a beanie and some jeans with a knitted sweater. He looks so fluffy.
"Okay Jinnie, come in."
He sighs in relief and quickly walks into the house. I close the door behind us and he removes his shoes. He sets down all the food that he had brought.
“What’s the matter Hyunjin? You’re scaring me..” I softly asked him while we both sat on the couch. I had turned on the tiny lamps in the living room and the tv was now playing.
He sat right besides me playing with his sleeves. He was nervous I could tell.
“I-“ he pauses before taking a deep breath in and clearing his throat, “I broke up with Mina,” My eyes go wide as my lips make an ‘o’ shape
“Why Hyunjin?” I ask him slightly confused. He turned to look at me. His eyes connecting with mine.
“B-because after you left, Mina left too and that left me with the boys. They gave me an hour lecture about how I’m stupid and how I don’t actually want Mina.”
“Then…why are you here Hyunjin, I don’t get it…”
“Because-“ he grabs my hand, his hands were shaking and sweaty. “Because I love you Y/n- I mean Ofcourse I love you but I love yo, not in like a friendship way more of like-“
“Okay I get the point but why are you here? You said it yourself that you didn’t want to be with me Hyunjin, you said that we couldn’t be together-“
“I was wrong. I was wrong. I was just being a pussy and when you told me you liked me I got scared because never in a million years did I think you would love me-“
“Wait what? Why?” My hands stop drawing circles on his as whatever he just said took me by surprise.
Why did he think I wouldn’t love him?
“Because I’m Hyunjin…you’re my bestfriend and you’ve seen me in so many situations that aren’t quite….attarctive,” that makes me giggle, “hey don’t laugh,” he pouts causing me to giggle again.
The tense room was now slowly melting and everything felt kinda nice and quiet?
“Hyunjin I like you because of all those situations duh, they’re the reason why I love you the way I do. All these girls haven’t seen you the way I have. You’re perfect.”
“Really?” He looks up at me with glistening eyes, “You mean it?”
“Yes Ofcourse I do Hyunjin…” he smiles at me and before I could even react. His lips were against mine. He was on top of me now and I knew he was craving everything. Our lips move in sync together. The longer the kiss was the more I craved his touch. The hungrier I was. His hands were around my waist sitting perfectly.
A moan escapes my mouth when his hand goes under my shirt.
“Hyun…” I whimper under him.
“Shhh let me take care of you.” He says before connecting out lips again. His hand leads behind my back and unclasps my bra. He slowly moves down leaving small kisses on my neck. His other hand slowly removing my shirt until a loud knock makes both of us jump.
“Ugh!” He groans, I look at him confused but realize him holding down his bulge.
I let out a loud laugh before asking him to clasp my bra back.
He whines in response but does it anyway.
“Who the heck is at my door at 4 in the morning?”
I open the door and find Chan, Leeknow and Changbin standing out front looking worried.
“Y/n? Have you seen Hyunjin? I know you’re upset right now with him but we don’t know where he is! We’ve looked everywhere Y/n! And I’m starting to get worried-“
“Oppa breathe!” I hold Chan by his shoulder, “his right inside here,” I chuckle and all of them look at eachother.
“Oh my God Hyunjin! I’m going to kill you!” Chan marches past me waving his hands in the air.
“We’re sorry for coming here at 4 in the morning,” leeknow whispers apologetically.
“It’s fine everyone is welcome,” I smile and let them in. Chan was telling Hyunjin off who had a pillow on his lap.
“I can’t believe you! And what are you doing here at 4- oh…” he stops and looks at him then back at me,
“Why are both your lips swollen? And Hyunjin what are you hiding under the pillow?”
“Nothing!” We both say at the same time causing Chan to squint his eyes.
“Oh they were totally about to fuck!” Changbin yells causing me to jump.
“No- no we weren’t aishhhh!!” I hid my face in my hands.
“Ahhh! So you took our advice Jinnie,” leeknow smirks causing Hyunjin to look at me.
“Yeah I did and we haven’t yet figured out stuff because you guys…” he glared at them “interrupted us!”
“Well it’s not our fault we care about you! Jeez can’t even get a thank you for looking for you at 4 in the morning.” Changbin groans and rolls his eyes.
“Umm can you guys leave now…” I ask them politely,
“Huh what’s the rush? You always beg to spend time with us Y/n and now we’re here why not spend time with us,” Chan smirks and Hyunjin looks at me begging me to tell them to leave.
“Please guys-“
“Yah! Okay, okay but you better come over later, you made Felix really upset!” Leeknow grabs his jacket and puts on his shoes while the rest do the same.
“Okay okay, I will. Now bye bye.” I tell them while literally pushing them out the door and locking it.
I turn to look at a Hyunjin who lets out a sigh of release and removes the pillow from his lap.
I gasp at the sight. Looking at the painful bulge that was under his pants. It was huge.
“Did I scare you?” He smirks before pulling me on his lap and kissing me.
“Wait Hyunjin before this goes any further, what are we?” I ask pulling away. “I don’t want to feel used..”
“I really wanna see where this goes Y/n and if you may allow me to be your boy-“
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” I squeal causing him to laugh.
“Okay I geuss it’s official then huh?” He smirks causing me to blush even more.
“Now where were we?”
**
And there we have it folks!!! I finally posted the last part :))
If you did PLEASEE reblog and if you haven’t checked out my page please do!! :)
-🩷
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