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fuselsstuff · 3 months ago

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Why i am so excited to have the Bucktommy storyline

Buck, the wild child, the hot head, overthinker, the talker, always a little much, but thats him, and he is so so loved.

He is the little brother of his found family, and in their heads he will allways be just that, so he gets all these backhanded compliments, like

" he doesnt know your an Idiot yet, but he will love you anyway like we all do"

He is such a competent person/firefighters but sometimes he doesnt get taken serious because his ideas doesnt seem thought trough, and it looks like He is just doing stuff without thinking, but thats his neurodivergent brain, people with Adhd sometimes dont have the words for their Plans and Action, they just know it (its like that With my Brain, i dont say everybody is like this)

And then we have his past realtionships,

Abby, she really really liked him, but she had her own demons to deal with, she couldnt be what Buck needed.

Allie, she knew what she gets herself into, so she broke it off before she could really fall for him and i think thats very honorable.

Taylor got Buck, she knew exactly who he is, and she was there for him, but maybe they were to similar, i dont think it would have worked out in the long term.

Natalia, well, cant say much about her.

Our boy just wants to come home to somebody that gets him, not just says that, but really really gets him, shows up for him, takes him seriously and is his person.

And yes we could debate that he has Eddie, these two have a wonderfull friendship, and i admire that. Its deep, its vunerable, they are there for each other, both need eachother, and they trust eachother, its beautiful.

But for now, its exactly that, its a beautiful friendship.

(side note... The will? That doesnt make Buck a coparent, it makes him Chris' godfather basically)

And now to his current realtionship, Tommy. I think its perfect, and the first thing i want to point out, the comunication. Buck is a talker, but no comunicator, if people dont tell him exactly what they think, he is gonna asume what they think, and well, when was that ever a good thing right? There are a lot of examples where Bucks missing comunication turned into Problems.

Tommy does comunicate, i mean... He drive to his loft before his shift, to clear the air. After He kisses him, he doesnt run away, he asks him if that was okay and then asks him out on a date. Do we have to talk about the date? He was smooth, polite and open, he didnt run away before he cleared it up to him "your adorable but i dont think your ready" comunication my friends! The Coffee meet up? " you allready know i am interested" I mean how much clearer can it get? And also that he told him that the Coffee wasnt what he would order, its a small thing but i think its just as honest and important.

And he Shows up for him, Bachelorparty and wedding! He is there because of him. The scene where Buck looks on his phone before Tommy arrives? I could feel those butterflys, *somebody is here because of me* such an amazing feeling.

I could go on and on on how amazing the character choice of Tommy is but then this would get far too long, i am Sure there are a lot of posts that point out why its so cool to have an "old" Character back.

To get back to the start, Buck is loved, he is a Idiot but with a heart of gold, truly a golden Retriever.

But its the difference between *Buck, your such an Idiot, i love you anyway* to *i love you because you are an Idiot, Evan* that makes it for me.

Thanks for reading until here, i needed to get that out, feel free to add points!

And dont get me wrong, if Buddie is gonna Happen some day, i am 100% here for it because i trust the writers.

But for now i enjoy this mature and hopefully domestic realtionship for buck storyline waaay to much <3

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 abc #911 buddie #911 #tommy kinard #evan buck buckely #tevan #bucktommy #lou ferrigno jr #oliver stark #911 buck

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try-set-me-on-fire · 2 years ago

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whatever you write is probably going to take me straight out but i love the way your fics do that to me, so "laughing while kissing" for the soft prompts please and thank you 🤗

-@buckactuallys

Soundtrack to this one. Soft prompts! Finished ones!

“Chimney’s doing another round of s’mores, you want one?”

Buck half turns from his spot at the edge of the tide. It was hot enough earlier that the cool bite of the ocean around his ankles still feels good as they creep closer to midnight than evening. “Nah, I had like eight of them with the kids.”

Eddie does a little hop over the foamy surf to stand beside him, and then licks his marshmallowy fingers clean. “Suit yourself.”

Another wave comes in and Eddie does his little hop over it again, except they really are at the very edge of the water so there's not really much foam to avoid. Buck squints at him a little, but he's unable to help the fond smile yanking his mouth around.

"What… are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh…" Eddie looks down at his feet and lets out a sort of bashful laugh. "Uh, we came to the coast to visit Pepa when we were kids - like little kids, I don't know if I was even five yet - and, uh…" Eddie looks at him, also sort of squinting and smiling. "I had it in my head that if the very edge of a wave touched me I'd get eaten by an alligator."

"W- why?" Buck gets out past a laugh. Eddie shoves him gently.

"I dunno, I was four. Made sense at the time. I think I maybe thought California was in Florida."

Buck laughs again, and when the next wave comes and they both hop over it he laughs harder, hands on his knees as Eddie chuckles beside him. He hasn’t bothered to straighten up when Eddie speaks again.

“Not in a bonfire mood?”

Buck looks out at the moon’s reflection cutting a path all the way to the distant islands that are just visible on this clear, bright night. “Just nice to be in a different ocean for a bit.”

Eddie hums, and kicks a little wet sand at him. “Now who thinks he’s in Florida? Same ocean, Buck, we’re two hours from home.”

“You know what I mean.” He waves a hand in a sweeping gesture. “It’s… vacation ocean.”

Eddie’s smiling in a way that seems to have trapped the words in his mouth, and Buck has to look back out at the waves or the full moon will give away the burning in his cheeks. “Yeah,” Eddie says eventually. “I know what you mean.”

Buck thinks he does. Eddie is the responsible one, of the two of them, level headed and no nonsense and calm, so it's been a little delightful to watch him throw himself into this camping trip with reckless abandon. He’d challenged the firefighters among them in a swimming race out to the floating platforms just offshore, begged alongside the kids to go walk down the beach to the little burger joint for ice cream, and charged around the woods with them after dinner, playing right along in their game of hunting for a spaceship full of aliens that might want to make friends, blinking their flashlights and throwing their laughter up into the sky in attempts to communicate.

Buck had spent the week before the trip feeling kind of sad about getting dumped, and feeling kind of guilty for not feeling more sad, and feeling a little… something, about how relieved Eddie had looked when he’d told him things with Marisol had also fizzled out. He’d liked Natalia, a lot. She was cool, and beautiful, and thought he was too, and she knew so little about him and his life that she felt like a safe place to exist without context for a while. It’s all a little dreamy, though, in hindsight, and Buck thinks he’d maybe tricked himself into finding a new method of running away from his own life disguised as grabbing on to a new one.

Vacation ocean. Maybe that’s what this is, too, another escape. Except Eddie is here, standing next to him and real as anything.

Buck feels like he’s got all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle floating around in his head, and has just started in on the edges when Eddie says “Hello, earth to Buck.”

“Oh, sorry, were you saying something?” Buck takes a step further into the water, back to the waves despite any good advice about ocean safety. Eddie’s watching out for him, he’ll be ok.

“No, not really.”

“Did you ever find them?” Buck is wet up to his mid calves now.

“Who?”

“The friendly aliens.”

Eddie’s face scrunches into a grin. “Uh huh. Turns out they like s’mores too. And look a lot like Maddie and Jee-Yun.”

Buck breathes out laughter, and Eddie steps closer to him. “I didn’t text Bobby this morning.”

“Well, he was like five feet away. Drew short straw, had to set up his tent next to you and your rhinoceros snores.”

Buck takes another step back, and Eddie takes another step forward. They’re wet to the knees, now. “I mean… I was less surprised today. When I woke up.”

Eddie’s expression almost looks neutral, Buck can only see the smile because he might know this man’s face better than his own. “Yeah?”

“Mmhm.”

Eddie nods. “That’s good. You’ve seemed a little… something.”

“Before now, or this weekend?”

Eddie tilts his head, in a move so like Buck himself it makes him smile. “Both. In different ways.”

Buck takes another half step back, water licking at his thighs. “I think things were a little dull before. I think things are a little bright now. Letting my eyes adjust.”

Eddie nods again, thoughtful, and just a hair nervous. “Hope you like the view.”

Buck grins with half his mouth, biting his cheek with the other. “Mmhm.”

They’re quiet for a moment, the gentle roar of waves around them, a distant happy shout drifting over from the campground. Eddie takes the half step to close the distance. “Buck,” he sighs. “I have bad news.”

“What?” He frowns, and his stomach flip flops just a little. He’d like to think he knows Eddie well enough that he hadn’t misread the situation, but he’s been known to be an idiot about these kinds of things before.

“Unfortunately…” Eddie tilts his head forward, very close to Buck’s own, and says “There were also evil aliens and I did get possessed by one,” before shoving him backwards into the sea.

Buck goes down laughing, and comes up spluttering. Eddie is giggling as he moves sideways in the surf to escape revenge, but he’s not trying all that hard and Buck’s lunge takes him off his feet. They roll around in the water, a lot colder now that it's not just their ankles submerged, and end up in a kind of breathless tangled together kneeling situation, rocked by the current as it comes and goes.

“You piece of shit,” Buck says, fully grinning, and Eddie roars with laughter. “We’re gonna get our tents soaking wet.”

“So we change in yours and you come to mine,” Eddie says, a little scared and a little brave.

Buck splashes him, and Eddie laughs, and then Buck kisses him, and Eddie laughs into that too, the sound a little disbelieving and a lot giddy. Buck pushes forward into it and Eddie falls back till he’s sitting and they’re both almost underwater, so Buck pulls him back up again and Eddie chases the kiss, and they’re both laughing into it now, puffs of air passed back and forth between them.

“This is-“ Buck speaks the words mostly into Eddie’s mouth, shaking a little from the giggling and the cold and the everything else. “I can come to your tent?”

“Yeah, Buck.”

“And this is- it’s vacation ocean?”

Eddie pulls back, just a tiny bit, and puts his hand on Buck’s face, fingers already a little pruny. “It’s the same ocean as always, Buck.”

“I can… come home, after?”

“You can come home forever,” Eddie says, and kisses him again. It’s not a very successful kiss, what with Buck nodding into it and Eddie smiling too much to work his mouth at all, but Buck is putting it in the top five kisses of his life anyway. “Come on, let's go get dry.” Eddie stands up out of the water, and then pulls Buck to shore.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buck #my writing #911 fox #911 abc #oops its 1 am whatever

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gayhoediaz · 1 year ago

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moth to a flame

T | 1.7k | also on ao3

It’s the softest kiss Buck has ever received in his life; the softest moment he has ever experienced.

It catches him completely off guard, as well - it comes out of nowhere, really. One moment, he’s leaning back against the row of lockers, the metal cool through the cotton fabric of his shirt. He’s telling Eddie about his decision to break up with Natalia - and granted, he’s probably sounding a little bit too self-deprecating and melancholy - but he can’t help it.

“I mean - how do I know if - what if I made the wrong decision?” he sighs. Things were good with Natalia - really, they were. Simple, in a lot of ways. Easy. Things made sense with her. What if he just fucked it all up for no reason?

“You made the right decision, Buck,” Eddie sighs, shaking his head to himself as he pulls his own shirt down over his chest, before proceeding to pick his watch up off the bench and fasten it around his wrist.

“Why? I mean, how-“

“You didn’t love her.” Eddie interrupts, raising an eyebrow from across the locker room. “You said it yourself.”

Sinking back against the lockers, Buck sighs. A part of him knows that Eddie is right - he usually is. Buck knows that he didn’t feel the way he should have - but he can't find a good reason as to why. Natalia is beautiful, and sweet, and caring, and interesting, and smart - nothing about her - about them - is wrong. It all makes perfect sense. And yet, he broke up with her. Ruined it. And he can't seem to shake the way in which his skin seems to itch at the thought of starting all over again.

"Remember what you said when I was with Ana? About how I owed it to her to be honest?" he asks, raising an eyebrow as he gathers his remaining things into his bag. "You were right. You're right now, too - so what's this really about?"

“What if…” Buck sighs, cutting himself off with a slight grunt as he shifts his eyes to the floor, shaking his head once before gathering the strength to lift his chin again, eyes on Eddie’s - who stays standing there a handful of feet away from him - watching; waiting - listening. “What if she was my last chance? The only one who…” he trails off with a sigh, shaking his head again. It's not a rational thought - he knows that; logically, he knows that there will be others. That he will be in love again. Probably. Emotionally, though? That's a different story. And he doesn't want to say it out loud, but he thinks he needs to - and he knows that Eddie will listen. He always does.

“The only one who what?” Eddie asks, his forehead creasing - but the look in his eyes tells Buck that he already knows what he’s going to say. He always does.

“You know…” Buck sighs, shrugging. “What if she was my last chance at finding someone who… made sense, you know?” As he’s talking, Eddie starts making his way across the locker room, shaking his head slightly - exhaling softly. Not of amusement, though - it sounds more like frustration. And Buck knows that Eddie doesn't agree - logically, he doesn't even agree, he's not nearly as insecure as he used to be - but he still can't shake the feeling. “Someone who’s nice, and - and makes sense, and who loves m-“

It takes a moment for Buck's brain to catch up - to understand what is actually happening. Eddie comes close, his hands come up - they graze his shoulders, and he is fully expecting them to land there. He's expecting Eddie to grab him by the shoulders, do a slight, barely there shake, as if he's trying to rattle Buck's brain back into place. Then he's expecting him to look him in the eye, raise his eyebrows and remind him once again that he did make the right decision. That there will be other people - other people to meet, other people to love, other people to love him, other people to build a life with. Buck is expecting Eddie to give him a firm, yet somehow gentle nudge back on track - to remind him that everything is going to be okay.

That's not what happens at all.

Eddie's hands do come up to his shoulders - but they don't land there; instead, they frame his face - the pads of his thumbs warm where they rest upon the thin skin below his eyes; the rest of his fingers don’t curl into a real grip, there’s no grabbing or cradling. - they stay just as gentle - not even cupping, actually - his hands stay relatively flat - fingertips gentle against his temples, the side of one of his pinkie fingers barely brushing against the shell of his ear. The heels of his palms add just enough pressure to barely be worthy of the term grasp.

Meanwhile, his lips are on Buck’s - just as gentle, sweet and achingly tender as the feeling of his thumb caressing the apple of his cheek in a single sweep.

It’s not deep - it’s not desperate - but it’s slow. The inside of Eddie’s mouth is warm, soft as his lips gently cradle Buck’s top one. It’s so tender that Buck’s stomach drops - he didn’t know that that feeling could be a result of something good, but it is.

Eddie’s kiss is so gentle that Buck aches.

From the way in which he could be pushing Buck back into the lockers and cage him in - but is doing anything but. To the careful, barely-there hold on his face, and the sweet brush of his lips - light as a feather, no pressure added, tongue absolutely nowhere in sight.

Eddie’s kiss tastes like;'You don’t have to be anything for anybody'. and '...because, Evan,' and 'You act like you’re expendable - but you’re wrong.'

“Sorry,” Eddie whispers softly, his breath warm as it washes over Buck’s parted lips. Perhaps Buck should be opening his eyes, but he can’t bring himself to do that right now - he wants to stay right here, in this moment, for just a little bit longer. He needs to stay right here, in this moment, for a little bit longer. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking, but you’re-" he cuts himself off with a slight exhale; it sounds like gentle frustration. "You're walking around acting like no one loves you, and I just. I can’t handle it,” Eddie continues, voice just as quiet - but his breath disappears a little bit, as if he’s leaning back again - and when his hands start to ease their barely-there grip, getting ready to let go of Buck’s face, Buck’s own hands immediately come up to find his wrists, stopping him.

Eddie must have his eyes open by now, but Buck still can’t bring himself to join him. Not yet.

“Why’s that?” he asks, swallowing as he lets the pads of his thumbs caress the insides of Eddie’s wrists. A soft exhale reaches his ears - the breath warm on his face again; he doesn’t have to open his eyes in order to see the twinkle in Eddie’s eyes, or the way the corners of his mouth twitch in careful amusement.

I love you.

That’s what Buck is expecting to hear - but at this point he should really know Eddie better than that.

“You can’t settle, you’re too good for that. You deserve everything you want."

“I want you to kiss me again,” Buck hums, voice just as quiet as Eddie’s while he lets the words sink in - a warm, glowing sensation spreading through his chest, settling in his soul. Quite frankly, he’s not sure how he could have missed it - missed them - but it’s so incredibly, utterly clear now. So much so that he thinks he can feel it in every beat of his heart; Edd-ie, Edd-ie, Edd-ie.

Of course.

“Buck, I uh - I’m serious, I shouldn’t have done that…” Eddie sighs, his breath a little bit further away again, hands once again trying to let go of Buck’s face - but Buck keeps them there, slowly allowing his eyes to blink open, taking in the view of Eddie’s slight frown. Their eyes meet, and Eddie swallows, shaking his head slightly. There's real, true, genuine regret in his eyes - and Buck understands why - of course he does. It's not like Eddie to do what he just did - especially not since Buck is pretty sure that he was just spiraling. That kiss, though - it stopped the spiral; completely. He's never been so grateful for anything in his entire life; It feels as if he just woke up out of a daze. Of course it's Eddie. How could he ever have thought it to be anyone else? “Look, you’re going through some stuff, and maybe - maybe you’re looking for something that makes sense, and this makes sense,” Eddie nods once. “I mean, we’re best friends, that’s kind of the dream, right? But just because I feel that way about you, doesn’t mean that you have to feel the same way, or that you can’t take some time to-“

Keeping one of his hands locked around Eddie’s wrist, Buck loops his other arm around his waist, easily flipping them until he’s able to pin him back against the lockers. They clatter slightly, and Buck hears a sharp intake of breath from Eddie - unable to stop the way in which the warmth in his stomach spreads even more. Grows warmer - an eclipse of moths dancing around the flames, happy to have found their way home.

“Shh…” Buck sounds, unable - and completely unwilling - to control his own grin as he leans in to brush his lips over Eddie’s - not kissing, just grazing. Fitting his hands to cradle Eddie’s face, he lets his eyes fall closed again, gently nuzzling the sides of their noses together. “I know what I want - less talking, more kissing. I love you, baby, come here.”

“We’re doing baby already, huh?” Eddie mumbles, and Buck feels his mouth stretch up into a smile as a single chuckle clicks in his own throat. There's no way he's holding back on this one. Edd-ie. Edd-ie. Edd-ie.

“Mhm,” he hums, their grins growing wider, teeth resting against each other's, more quiet chuckles shared between them.

“Well then, I love you too, baby,” Eddie clicks his tongue, subdued chuckles still rumbling through both of their chests as Buck feels the pad of his thumb caress the shell of his ear, right before he fits his hand to the back of his neck, the gentle grip steering them into the rest of their lives.

#nie's fics #writing tag #buck x eddie #fanfiction

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watchyourbuck · 10 months ago

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We’re literally DAYS away from s7 but I just watched the graveyard scene™️ and I have,,,, thoughts

I haven’t publicly discussed the lighting strike, the coma dream or the third kitchen scene yet, but there was something about this scene that irked me enough, so now im here

For starters this whole episode was centered around death. We have the Fake Funeral, Shannon’s grave, the Athena arc with the man who died then came back to life, and obviously,,, as one might imagine, we brushed Buck’s near-death experience (⚡️) — then at the end,,, the ever angering Buddie talk at a previous victim’s grave.

In this episode we meet Natalia, a death doula who Buck and the rest of the 118 tend to after an accident.

She quickly takes an interest in the recently Discharged™️ Evan Buckley, even asking him out on a date after finding out about his “acquaintance” (sic.) with death.

On the date per se she manifests her excitement towards Buck’s whole story, even prompting him to say ‘look at how excited you are. you’re like a real fangirl of this stuff.’

Upon research, I’ve found that death doulas are a real thing. Slow blink. I had no idea.

Thing is, she keeps saying how cool it is to have died and come back to life, imo pressuring him into discussing details he doesn’t seem all that ready himself to say out loud (he just seems to like her, however). He does anyway. She says how amazing and cool it is. Again.

We do not get more details of the date.

Now to what brings us all here.

The scene starts with Buck and Eddie in front of Marie’s grave (a victim they knew). Buck explains how she died and mentions Natalia. Eddie says ‘we’re all gonna die alone’,,, which,, 👁️ ok mister Diaz a little somber but um– let him cook.

Buck seems a lil taken aback by this, turning to look at Eddie quietly until he explains that’s what Marie said to him and Hen. Buck disagrees with the statement.

Then it’s Eddie’s turn to mention Natalia. “That’s a beautiful thing Natalia did for her,” he says, looking at the ground. I’m not particularly a Natalia stan, but I can say that at this point of the conversation Eddie means no ill-will towards her. She’s actually somehow a… background character (of sorts) to this whole story.

This is when it gets,,,, interesting 🧍🏽‍♀️

As soon as Eddie speaks, Buck takes a small breath and smiles. Like WIDE. (Like guys that’s the picture I just put above this whole scene) — BUT he looks like he’s a bit hesitant in entrusting Eddie with the fact that he’s seeing her. He even ducks his head a little bit, which is a clear sign of cautiousness.

Before Buck’s even done speaking, Eddie sighs and throws his head slightly back. I don’t have the WORDS to explain to yall the way this man looks like he’s e x h a u s t e d (they haven’t even started the conversation bro 😭)

“Really? Dating someone you rescued?” OKAY LISTEN TO ME. This is what sets off the Marisol arc. Before Buck started dating Natalia, we hadn’t even heard about Marisol in the whole season !!!! She was gone, poof! Then Buck gets all deathy-snuggly with Natalia and suddenly Eddie’s really interested in her (when not even half an episode ago he was telling Tia Pepa he wasn’t ready even if he didn’t wanna be alone). Otherwise it would be awfully cynical of Eddie to be saying all this when he’s planning on going against his OWN words in like two episodes……….. 👨🏽‍🦯

Not only that, but it’s the fact that he looks completely against it from the very get go. Ummmm Taylor was someone they rescued, so was Ali. We never heard this speech before did we??? “You know that never ends well.” Also it’s the second fact that he says YOU know it never ends well. Excuse me? Wasn’t Ana someone you rescued also? 🤨 it just seems like he’s trying very hard to convince Buck to not do this. How do I know this you ask??? Bc I’ve been in that situation.

When Buck starts defending his choices, Eddie only nods. He can’t even look at him. He’s defeated, but not AS defeated as he’s about to be. “Anyway, she wanted to ask me about the lighting strike” “Right. You love being the guy with the answers.” This is NOT PLAYFUL. EDDIES NOT SAYING THAT ENDEARINGLY. Omg I can’t even- he’s not fooling around the way a friend would tease someone about their hot new date, he’s deliberately using the same PHRASING Buck used with him and Chris like a minute ago. He’s hurt. Eddie’s HURT. By now Eddie thinks Buck’s just playing around with this girl. And he’s hurt bc when he had his moment with Tia Pepa, he envisioned a life for himself with Buck (and I can’t tell you it was super romantic or platonic, but in his head it was a family. All three of them. This was clearly breaking that vision that he took so long to accept).

Okay. “I feel like she sees me.” I have… I need to have extensive PTO rn cuz im seething. The way Eddie’s head immediately turns to Buck, even though he had been avoiding his eyes through the entirety of the scene. Another person said this so im not gonna take originality credit but: it’s like their whole friendship flashes through his mind, and his face contorts into a very painful ‘but I see you.’ I’m in so much pain lmao

Eddie’s literally scrambling now. He doesn’t know what to say, how to stop this pain. He’s lost Buck. He lost the man he’s been secretly and unawaringly in love with for over five years. He tries to be okay with this new reality asap. He hides his feelings. He starts joking. Buck’s not really laughing either, it’s futile.

“You haven’t been the same since it happened. But how could you be?” The last bit Eddie says to himself. He’s trying to adjust so fast he might have whiplash. It’s like he’s thinking: “if I had acted before this all happened, maybe I could have changed with you, instead of watching you change from a corner when im nothing but your best friend. No authority, no rights, no permission.” 😀 im ready to end it all btw

Thing is,,, Eddie STILL loves Buck, even if he’s convinced himself in his head right about now that he can’t have him. He’ll be happy (he’ll have to be) just being his friend, because losing his romantic love won’t ever be worse than losing him completely, so he says: “You don’t have to be anything for anybody.” Does this REMIND YALL OF SOMETHING ???

(gently borrowed from @loveyourownsmiilee – although it was a gif but I’m kinda computer stupid)

Anyway, then Eddie becomes a little preachy, ending it w “so what changed you?” Which honestly he says quite angrily and accusatorially. If you watch the scene he even nods his head up, pointing at Buck and separating him from himself. He’s cutting their lines. YOU changed. YOU moved on. YOU died. YOU didn’t wait for me.

Then Buck kinda extends his hand back. “That has to mean something, right?” (Cheating death). He looks at Eddie with hope, but the man ISNT LOOKING BACK…. And the window is lost. Eddie’s joking again, Buck looks away.

Whatever, the scene ends with Eddie wanting but refusing to look at Buck, while Buck stares into a hypothetical horizon with a glimmer of a new, different hope. He never realized Eddie’s heart broke an inch away from him.

“It’s all a gift.”

Not to Eddie, it isn’t.

#im sorry for the long ass post #if you wanna feel better it’s 2:37 am on my birthday and this is what im doing with my life #so clearly most of yall are a little saner than me #buddie #911 fox #911 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 tv show #evan buck buckley #buck x eddie #buck and eddie #911 abc #911 on abc #oliver stark #ryan guzman #911 buddie

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cal-daisies-and-briars · 2 months ago

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VERY curious about this holiday special 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Hahaha not technically a holiday special! The very undecorated pine tree emoji will hopefully eventually make sense. (I'm actually a grinch)

60 for monster!Eddie & HOH!Buck:

---

Someone is speaking, eulogizing. But it’s not English or Spanish. Eddie doesn’t understand it. Not even a little, so it’s not even a close language.

Every time - because the dream repeats itself frequently in the days and weeks following Buck’s coma - the following things happen. Eddie stumbles forwards, towards the open grave. He thinks he’s shouting for Buck the same way he shouted up on that ladder. When he reaches the mouth of the grave, right beside Maddie, he falls to his knees. The eulogizing continues in a foreign language, but everything else just seems to stop. There’s a collective gasp of horror. Maddie looks at Eddie with narrowed, accusatory eyes.

And even though no one is saying it, Eddie just knows. He knows why everyone is looking at him like he’s monstrous. He reaches his arm, covered in a suit sleeve, behind his body to touch his back. His hand finds only a dark, cool hollow. The edges of which feel like rotting tree bark.

“I’m sorry,” he says to Maddie when he pulls his hand back. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to-”

“This must be why he’s dead,” Maddie says. “This must be the reason.”

And that’s always where Eddie wakes up, sweating and frantic, pinching at the skin of his back to make sure it’s still real.

Those dreams last, in decreasing frequency, for two months.

ii.

He doesn’t tell anyone, but the reason Eddie calls Marisol after running into her at the hardware store, is because he needs a date to his sister’s wedding.

That sounds terrible. Maybe it is terrible. But it’s true.

No one has said he needs a date to Adriana’s wedding, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been made clear. For one thing, she is his youngest sister. He quite literally changed her diapers. Probably more of hers than Christopher’s. Never mind the fact that she’s only twenty-two, and really fucking young to be getting married - take him for example - everyone will see him arriving single as a sort of pitiable thing. Poor Eddie. Still alone. Or, what’s wrong with Eddie, that he’s still alone? Pepa has been pressuring him. His parents always mention that they don’t understand why he ended things with Ana. They think Christopher needs a proper mother figure in his life. Abuela even likes to tap his cheek and tell him there’s someone out there for him. It’s incessant.

So, does he want a new relationship right now? Not entirely. No. But does he think bringing Marisol - kind, bubbly, successful Marisol - to the wedding will make his overall experience a hell of a lot better? Yes. Yes, he does. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t like her. She’s nice. She’s funny. She’s cute. This is fine. This could be good.

At the very least, it won’t be bad. And no one will look at him like there’s something deeply wrong with him.

Besides, Buck has started seeing Natalia. The death doula. Who is beautiful and funny and who he likes a lot. This isn’t technically a reason to get a girlfriend, except that, well… Eddie hates being a third wheel.

It’s a little weird asking her, he will admit. After less than three months of seeing each other. It’s too soon, and he knows it.

#daisies and briars writes #firelight fic

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ladydorian05 · 9 months ago

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Fuck it weekend because this is a whole fic

BI BUCK IS CANON!!!!!!

I started writing this fic before the episode aired. This was inpired by this post.

I don't know what this is, but it's the first thing I've written in a while so, hope you like whatever this is.

Big shout out to @made-ofmemories for beta reading and helping me write some parts of this.

Also, special thanks to @wikiangela @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus @your-catfish-friend @theotherbuckley @exhuastedpigeon @wildlife4life @pirrusstuff @neverevan @giddyupbuck @bidisasterbuckdiaz @jesuisici33 for still tagging me in the weekly wip games even if I haven't been that active in a while (also, consider this your no pressure tag❤)❤❤ (and I'm sorry if I'm missing people I lost the list of people that used to tag me) I hope This will be my come back to writing.

Eddie's UNO Reverse

AO3

Summary:

“You know, he’s different, not only because he’d be the first man I’d try to date in, let’s just say a while. Spending time with him feels good. Like-” Eddie pauses, purses his lips the way he does when he’s thinking about something and then he says it. “Like he sees me.”

And just how the fuck is Buck supposed to take that? Here’s Eddie, literally contemplating a future with a man he just met, a complete stranger, and saying all of this to Buck’s face!? He’s really going to consider a stranger over the person who has known him for years, to the person who can basically read his mind with just a look! To the man who actually sees him because he’s known him for the better part of half a decade and now that he can be honest to himself, the man who’s been helping him raise the most amazing kid in the world!?

He hasn’t been hyping himself up to ask Eddie out on a date for weeks just for a stranger to come waltzing in and steal his partner right in front of him. Not again.

Or the one where Eddie speaks with Buck about Tommy the same way Buck talked about Natalia. And Buck doesn't take it well.

Word count: 3k something

Tags: Jealousy, Eddie's pettyness backfires (in the best way possible), getting together. It gets a bit spicy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I didn't expect to get along with Tommy so well, he's been nice.” Eddie comments as he lets his duffle bag drop to the floor next to the door.

“Yeah, he seems like a cool guy.” Buck follows him inside, he leaves his own bag next to Eddie’s and makes his way to the open space that makes up the kitchen area of his loft. He watches as Eddie opens the fridge and grabs two beers.

They just came back from the basketball court, they invited Tommy to hang out with them once things settled down after the cruise rescue. They all promised to make an effort to hang out more, and apparently Hen and Chim’s old teammate made a good impression on Eddie.

”We made plans to go to next week’s baseball game, said he had an extra ticket.” Eddie passes him his beer, their fingers brushing.

“Really?” Buck takes a long sip of his beer, hoping that he sounded normal and not upset. It was his idea to invite Tommy to their regular basketball hang out in the first place. He wanted him to feel included, to let him know that they appreciated that he placed his career on the line to help them get to Bobby and Athena. And well, even if he’s no longer with the 118 he should still be considered a friend, family. He just never considered that he’d be the one feeling left out.

He might not be a big baseball fan but they could have asked even if just to not be rude.

“You know, I might just try something with him,” Eddie says, far too casual. Buck chokes on his beer, thumping his fist against his chest twice before he regains his composure. “It’s been almost a month since Marisol and I broke up, so might as well.”

“What?” Buck croaks, carbonation from the beer still burning at the back of his throat.

“I mean, we have a lot in common. He says he’s good with kids, has been in the army, he’s a widower like me, he likes sports, has a good sense of humor, since he was a firefighter and now a rescue pilot he most definitely won’t have a problem with my crazy work schedule. Plus he’s nice as we previously stated and he’s not bad looking.”

“I guess.” The fact that Eddie is considering dating a man doesn’t come out of nowhere, they’ve had more than one conversation on their interests and on Eddie’s part on how he’s never felt like he could act upon those feelings or even mention that he’s interested in men before. The wonders of going to therapy.

Still, this is the first time he ever mentioned wanting to go on a date with a guy. With Tommy. He’d say yes, of course he would. Who wouldn't say yes to Eddie!

He hasn’t been hyping himself up to ask Eddie out on a date for weeks just for a stranger to come waltzing in and steal his partner right in front of him. Not again.

“What do you mean he sees you?” Buck asks, placing his beer on the counter.

“You know, like he understands the struggles and sees beyond what I let people see.” Buck sees him shrug his shoulders as if what he just said is the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, any other person that's not close to me.”

”Eddie, you’re sounding crazy right now.”

“What? Why?” Eddie asks.

“Why? You’re really asking why?” He raises his eyebrows incredulously at his best friend.

“Yeah, you just agreed that he’s a nice guy.” Buck watches as Eddie also leaves his beer on the side and crosses his arms in front of him.

“But you just met him.”

“Yeah, but there's the fact that we almost died together in that hurricane and he also risked his job to help us rescue our friends, that says a lot about him. To me it says he’s loyal.”

“There were 3 other people on that chopper that almost died with you and that you’ve known for years.” Buck takes a few steps away from the counter and starts pacing as he speaks, he needs to move or else he’s going to, to… Okay he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t move but he needs to just not stay still. “How can you say that someone who you’ve met twice and only really spoken with once ‘sees you’?”

Why does this whole situation feels familiar? It’s like a deja vu. Like Buck’s heard something similar before, like he's had this same conversation in the past but different.

And then it hits him.

He’s taken back to a couple of months ago, when they were standing at a graveyard.

‘There's something... different about her. I-I feel like she sees me. You know? Like she-she really sees me for who I am and what I've been through.’

Oh.

OH.

He said the same thing about Natalia after just one coffee date. And Eddie, Eddie just listened to him, he let him speak and didn’t question his reasoning. However wrong it turned out to be.

And here he was, criticizing his choice to find happiness, ready to try and live his life without caring what anyone may think of him for dating another man.

All because he's jealous, because the man in question isn't him.

Shit.

“Oh my god, oh my god, Eddie. I’m an idiot, I’m such a hypocritical idiot! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait what? Buck-”

“No, no, I am. I said the exact same thing to you about Natalia months ago and you just listened to me and-and supported me.” He stood still for a moment once the realization hit him, but now he was back to pacing.

“Buck.”

“You didn't question me like I was doing a moment ago. It doesn't matter that my relationship didn't go anywhere, because that's just me, forever cursed to fuck up and act on impulse. But it doesn't mean it'll be the same for you, if you say he sees you, he sees you, that's fine I believe you.” He knew he was doing that thing when he talks and gestures with his hands that most of his teachers used to find kind of annoying, but he just could never control it. Even less so now that he’s sure Eddie must think he’s a horrible friend for not being happy that he’s putting himself out there trying to find a romantic partner.

And he really is such a horrible friend, he should be putting his feelings aside and encouraging Eddie to look for happiness. He must do that, he’ll fix it, from this moment on he’ll be all in.

“Buck.”

“I'll support you, even if it kills me inside I’ll deal with it. I’ll be your wingman. My jealousy is my problem. I want you to be happy even if it’s not with me, even if I stay your friend and nothing more for the rest of my life I’ll learn to deal with my feelings I swear, Eddie. And-”

“Evan!” The use of his name and the weight of Eddie’s hands on his shoulders stops him abruptly from continuing his pacing. “Hold on, I'm the one that should be apologizing.”

“No, why? I was the one being-”

“Evan, I’m sorry. I- I said that on purpose to mess with you a little, I didn’t think it’d upset you this much. I’m so sorry, it was such a stupid and petty thing to say I just,” Eddie sighs, “You actually just voiced just about everything that went on in my head when you said that about Natalia, with the exception of you using nicer words than I would have, had I voiced my thoughts back then.”

“You- back when- what?” He feels Eddie’s hands leaving his shoulders, missing his touch for the few seconds it takes for them to move to his face.

“Okay, Buck. I need you to listen closely, I do like Tommy, he seems great and when I got invited to the baseball game I did consider trying to have something with him. That was before, before I learned that you were jealous, that maybe I could have a chance, because he’s no Evan Buckley.”

“But if- you were jealous back then, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, it had been a while since you told me you were Bi and I told you that I’m also into men even if I don’t really like labels. When our relationship stayed the same after that and when you started dating Natalia I just thought that maybe you didn’t feel the same way or weren’t into me like that. And so I- I invited Marisol on a date.”

“You’re kidding, right? Shit, Eddie. We’re both a pair of idiots.” Buck huffs in exasperation. “I tried to make it work with Natalia for the exact same reason.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck.” They stare at each other for a moment, processing all that has been said in the last fifteen or so minutes, before bursting into laughter. “So, we could have been dating since last year?”

“Guess we’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for then.” Eddie smirks and Buck becomes very suddenly aware of just how close they are. One of Eddie’s hands has moved to cup the back of his neck, fingertips brushing against the soft hairs at the nape, the other has started to trail down Buck’s arm. All he’d have to do is tilt his head just a little bit.

Eddie beats him to it.

The kiss is chaste, barely more than the press of Eddie’s lips against his own before they pull away again.

“Sorry, I just- and you-” Buck worries at his bottom lip, tasting the bitter malt of Eddie’s preferred beer brand that lingers there as his best friend fumbles with his words. “You have no idea for how long I've wanted to do that.”

“I can guess.” Buck whispers before capturing Eddie's lips again. in a deeper kiss. Having no more reasons to restrain himself he pours all of him into the kiss.

It's messy and kind of uncoordinated but so good. He's not sure who deepens the kiss first or when it happens, but figuring out the details is not high on his list of priorities when Eddie is licking into his mouth like a man starved. It's messy and uncoordinated, teeth colliding when Buck tries to suck Eddie's bottom lip between his own with a little too much enthusiasm and Eddie returns it by smiling into it, but it's perfect. And Buck wants more. His hands wander, leaving their anchor on Eddie's waist in his mission to map out every dip and ridge of his body, keen to touch everywhere he can in a way he's never been able to before.

Buck leans down a bit until he can get his hands on the back of Eddie's thighs and lifts him up, his legs immediately going around his waist most likely on instinct, he takes a few steps until he reaches the counter behind Eddie and places him there.

“Oh shit.” Eddie pants, breaking the kiss. Buck takes the opportunity to lavish his neck with kisses.

“Buck.” He moans as Buck sucks on a spot just below Eddie's ear. “Hold on, Buck. We're going too fast.”

He stops immediately, he would never do anything or go further than what his partner would allow. Even back in his wilder years, he prided himself in always making sure his advances were wanted.

“Sorry, sorry. You're right. Too fast.” He takes a deep breath and lets his forehead rest on Eddie’s left shoulder as Eddie cards his right hand through his product free blonde curls. Eddie taps his back twice, it’s all the indication he needs to understand that Eddie wants to get down from the counter. Buck takes a step back to give him just enough space for that, not wanting to actually leave too much space between them. He really wants to stay as close to him as possible right now.

Once Eddie’s feet are back on the ground they stay still for a moment, their foreheads resting against each other.

“Just for the record,” Buck says, breaking the peaceful silence between them, “I love you. I’m in love with you.”

His words are rewarded with Eddie’s blinding smile, the big unrestrained one he’s only seen when they’re either alone or when they’re with Chris. That one smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his whole face. He loves that smile, he loves everything Eddie.

“Then, just for the record.” Eddie chuckles. “I love you too, Evan.” He can’t help but lean in and capture Eddie’s lips with his own again. His hands that were previously on Eddie’s hips, playing with his belt hoops, pull him by them so that they can be as close as humanly possible while still being clothed.

Eddie is sucking Buck’s tongue into his mouth and god damn it if they don’t stop right now he’ll have to take the longest cold shower known in history. The fact that he can actually feel Eddie’s hardness against his own doesn’t help at all.

“Slow.” He manages to break the kiss with a wet pop. “We agreed on going slow.” He knows he sounds wrecked and so out of breath and really, if they hadn't agreed to take their time he’d already be guiding Eddie towards the stairs to his bed.

They take a moment to get their breathing back to normal.

“Yeah, you’re right, we’ll go the pace we feel like going.” Buck gives him a questioning look at that. “Hey, I reconsidered and slow is for people that need to know each other, to figure out if they’ll work out. I’m completely sure we don’t really need all that time. We’ve been partners for years, we were just missing the kissing part and… the other stuff too.” Eddie says that last part at the same time as his hands trail down the panes of Buck’s back to land on his ass.

“We’re going to be so bad at slow.” Buck groans.

“I know.” Eddie snorts. “We did transition from enemies to friends in the span of one shift.”

“Alright, alright. Are you hungry?” Buck watches as Eddie gives him a once over and he already knows that whatever Eddie is about to say is going to make the situation going on in his pants worse.

“Starving,” the little shithead has the gall to smirk. “But I can go for a pizza or chinese.”

“Jesus, Eddie.” He pushes away from his laughing… boyfriend? Okay, mental reminder to talk about relationship labels later. “You’re killing me. Just for that, you’re stuck ordering our food, meanwhile I’m going to take a shower.”

He starts making his way up to his loft to grab comfortable clothes to change into after his shower.

“Leave some of that cold water for me, babe!” Eddie calls from the kitchen, his voice laced with mirth.

“Shut up! And that’s not how it works, that’s for hot water not cold! You can’t run out of cold water!” He knows he completely failed to sound annoyed, he’s just too happy to be anything but elated at the turn of events.

He confessed to Eddie, he told him that he loves him and Eddie said it back. He’ll be walking on cloud 9 for the rest of the month. Hell maybe even for the rest of his life.

After dinner and with Christopher spending the night at a friend’s house, Eddie decides to stay for the night and it’s only after they’re both tucked into bed that Buck remembers the catalyst of the night’s events.

“Eddie?” He gets a noncommittal humm in response. “What about your date?”

“What date?” This time Eddie does answer sounding so sleepy and confused.

“Your date with Tommy.” Did he forget? He gets that a lot of things just happened tonight but to completely forget what started it all?

“Oh yeah, about that, it was never really a date, I did say he invited me, but I never said it’d be just the two of us. Chim is coming too.”

What. Did. He. Just. Say.

It wasn’t a date!?

“Don’t you think you should have started with that!?”

“Sorry, love. Think about it this way, if I had mentioned that Chim was also invited, we wouldn’t be here now. Who knows how many years it would have taken for us to finally get together.”

“Then why didn’t you guys invite me?” His bottom lip just out in what is definitely not a pout and the rough pad of Eddie's thumb traces over it.

“Buck you don’t like Baseball, you’d be fast asleep during the first inning.”

“Still, you could have asked.”

“Next time. I promise,” Eddie says, his hand has moved, no longer tracing the plump line of Buck's lower lip but now trailing a lazy line down one of Buck's arms under the covers.

“Are you still going?”

“I plan to. It’s a free ticket after all.” Eddie shrugs one shoulder and Buck takes the momentary pause in Eddie's movement as an opportunity to lace their fingers together. “But before that, I plan on taking you out for dinner this weekend. Would you like that?”

“I’d love that.”

“Alright, then it’s a date.” The end of Eddie's sentence is slurred with sleep, his eyes already closed.

Buck gives Eddie's hand a squeeze, their fingers still interlocked and watches the corner of Eddie's lip quirk up in the ghost of a smile before he lets his eyes slip closed, mind filled with thoughts of their date. Buck can’t wait.

#Fic: Eddie's UNO Reverse #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 abc #inspired by the promos for s7 ep 4 #Bisexual Buck!!!!!#ladydorian writes #my fic

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lover-of-mine · 1 year ago

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lover-of-mine masterlist

Pairing: Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz (911)

for everything we are (everything we’ve been) (9.5k, T) :

"Eddie," Buck breathes, almost a sigh as he drops his head, and Eddie can tell he's ready to drop it even if he wants to talk about it because he'll follow him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, leaning closer to Buck, and he glances at him, "I have nowhere else to be, and I know you were just following my lead with this, we can talk about it all if you want," Eddie offers, trying to show him how serious he is about it but Buck just looks skeptical. "I don't know, man," Buck shakes his head, picking at the label of his beer, clearly wanting to say something but not knowing if it's his place to say it. “So here's what we're gonna do, the shit we've been through that you keep telling yourself didn't happen to you so you have no right to feel anything about it? You're gonna tell me how you felt about it anyway," Eddie says, turning on his chair so he's facing Buck fully and watching as Buck mirrors his movement, places his beer on the counter, and rubs his thighs before speaking. or the entity I've been affectionately calling "the trauma fic 🫶"

tell me how it feels (say it ain't so) (8.3k, T):

“It was a harmless comment,” Buck says, frowning at him, and he huffs. “Harmless? Did you see the look on your sister’s face? You’re so caught up in pretending it didn’t happen, you can’t look around yourself and realize what happened didn’t just change you.” “What- why-” Buck tries, but his eyes are wide, and he doesn’t seem able to find words. “Because this is what you wanted. To move past it, not to think about it, make the best of it, and I’m letting you do it, but this- that’s what you told me. She sees you for who you really are, right? I’m just forcing you to act like someone you’re not? That’s who’s been doing such a better job at supporting you? Someone who will never understand what it felt like? Someone who thinks it’s cool that you-” Eddie cuts himself abruptly, sucking in a sharp breath because he doesn’t think he can keep talking without crying, but Buck is still looking at him like he doesn’t understand what’s happening.

or Eddie hears Natalia saying Buck's death was cool and things spiral out of control. Or just what I've been calling the "Let's deal with Death & Taxes"

all i ever wanted comes right down to you (3k, G):

i'll come tackle the monsters (4.5k, T):

The thing is, Eddie knows he probably looks pathetic right about now. He can't help it. Not when the low light of the bar hides him just enough for him to be able to watch Buck leaning against the counter a few feet away talking to a woman he doesn't know without worrying about what it looks like. About how it would be interpreted. About keeping his expression neutral enough as he feels his heart ready to burst out of his chest. It's stupid, but he can't shake it. He can't move past it. Can't box it up into something he can manage. Can't make it something he can live with. It's like loving Buck is somehow wired into his DNA. That's not exactly the problem. He's ready to love Buck in whatever way Buck wants him to forever. It's just that sometimes… Sometimes he wants more. or Eddie is very dramatic in his pining and Buck overhears something that changes everything.

in case you don't live forever (8.5k, T):

But Buck didn't seem ready to talk. He just shifted, moving so he could drop his head to Eddie's shoulder, before nodding slightly and hiding his face on his neck. That is also new, Buck allowing himself to seek comfort. So Eddie waits, lets his hand find Buck's hair, fingers lazily moving through it until he relaxes against him. “I thought you were dead,” Buck mumbles into his skin, still hiding, almost as if he's hoping that if he stays like this, it can't hurt him. “It was just a bad dream,” Eddie tries to reassure him, fingers still moving on his hair, but he shakes his head. “No, not- not now, I mean, yes, in the dream too, but when you- I thought you were dead. You went down and you were looking at me, but then you weren't and I- I thought you were dead,” Buck explains and Eddie breathes out a soft oh once he understands what he means. “We never talked about it, about how it was for you,” he says, carefully, because even if Buck seems to be in a more open mood, he knows how fast he can shut down. or Buck has a nightmare and they talk about the shooting.

In hindsight, maybe they could’ve gotten out before the whole thing came down. It’s not like they weren’t aware that the building was unstable, but the truth is that it was too sudden for anyone to do anything other than just watch as the floor gave out from under them. There wasn’t even enough of a warning for an evacuation order to be placed. Because there wasn’t really the need for one, the floor was cleared and they were making their way back out when it happened. Buck was actually talking about how lucky they were that there was no one down there, about how an extraction from there would be tricky when it happened. And as they go down Eddie is actually thinking about how the universe seems to have a sick sense of humor. or Buck and Eddie get trapped in a collapsed building. Buck more than Eddie.

wedding bells were just alarms (10.2,G)

How long had he been pushing the knife deeper? How much had he actually hurt Eddie before he chose to pull it out himself and close the door so Buck wouldn't be able to anymore? How much would he take if Buck hadn't started to yell at him and let him do whatever it would take to be supportive? Would he make it through the wedding? Would he stand behind Buck at the altar, watching him marry someone else, never saying a word? Just shove his feelings down because he thought this was what would make Buck happy? The fucked up part is that Buck knows he would. Would even smile through everything too, help him with planning, and talk him down if he panicked. Just stand there, with his feelings unknown, letting Buck push the knife in deeper and deeper until there would be nothing left of them. Until there was so much pain that there would be no saving them when Buck finally came to his senses. or Buck proposes to Natalia, picks a fight with Eddie and things come to focus after they have a really bad week.

we didn't happen the way we were supposed to (where do we go now?) (4.1k, T):

i'll never give you away ('cause i've already made that mistake) (3.2k, G)

The craziest part is that Eddie doesn't even know why they're fighting. Can't remember what started it. Who said what that landed them screaming at each other in a way that reminds him of the way Shannon and him used to fight. Maybe it comes with it. With fighting your best friend. Letting someone know you means letting them know how to hurt you. And oh, has Buck been digging the knife deeper. He's not even sure Buck realizes how much he's been holding back. It's not like he really has a choice. At some point, they stopped talking.

or Buck and Eddie start fighting over things left unsaid or just misunderstood.

And maybe he should think this through before talking to Eddie. But, fuck it, it's not like he's known for thinking before he acts. So he's rushing out of the car, stepping up to the door, calling out before he even closes it behind him. “Eddie!” “Hey? Did we have—” Eddie peaks out of the dining room before cutting himself as he steps into the living room when he notices the look on his face, expression changing from fond confusion to plain worry, “Buck, what's going on?” “What happened at that party?” Buck asks, and he freezes in place, tilting his head. “What?” “What happened at that party?”

Buck almost kissed Eddie at the bachelor party and forgot about it. Until he remembered.

this is a state of grace (2.2k, G)

So, even though Buck has only been gone for a day, he can't help the way his heart speeds up when he hears Buck's key on the door. And, look, he tries to give Buck time to settle in. He manages the time it takes for Buck to take his shoes off and put his bag away, greeting him with a tired but genuine smile before Eddie just moves straight into his chest, arms wrapping around his middle, hiding his face on his neck and exhaling like he somehow had been holding his breath since Buck walked out the door the day before. or They just got together. Eddie is touchy and misses Buck. Buck is not sure how to react. They are in love and finally say it. From both POVs.

what if one of these days i go and change your name (2.7k, G)

So what? Edmundo Diaz wants to marry Evan Buckley. It's not a new development. The urge just had never been as intense as it is right now as he steals glances at him but it's always been there. And he can't get the smile off his face over the way Buck has his last name across his back and hasn't thought to remove the jacket even though he doesn't need it anymore now that he's out of the building and he's not actually supposed to be working. or Buck runs into a fire while off-duty, Eddie gives him his turnout once the 118 responds, then proceeds to spiral about how he wants to marry Buck.

nothing safe is worth the drive (2.1k, G)

i'm afflicted by the not knowing (1.2, G)

And, sure, it took Buck way too long to realize what he was feeling. To name it. To try to understand it. But he's here now. And can't keep not doing something about it. So he's doing something about it. He's getting in the goddamn car. Who cares if it's almost midnight? Who cares if they're just out of a 24-hour shift? Who cares if he doesn't know for sure the answer he's gonna get? He's doing it. He's gonna say it. Put his feelings out in the world. Evan Buckley is in love with Eddie Diaz. And he's gonna tell him. or Buck decides he needs to confess his feelings and drives over in the middle of the night.

But he's also feeling the need to confess, and this is the closest he can force himself into. So he drops into the chair and finally meets Frank's eyes. “I broke up with Marisol.” “I'm sorry to hear that,” Frank says in the calm let's talk about how that makes you feel voice that used to drive him up the wall. Maybe it still does. “No, that's not the problem,” Eddie shakes his head and he nods. “Alright, what is the problem?” “I lied to Buck.” or Eddie needs to talk about how he's feeling. That's what therapy is for, right?

i won't let nobody hurt you (3k, G) (this one is more about Buck and Chris):

you could take me home (6.2k, G)

The consistent buzzing is somehow shaking the whole bed. It makes Buck groan into his pillow, while feeling around the bed trying to find his phone without opening his eyes. Maybe he shouldn't still be sleeping, but it's his first day off after a 48-hour shift, so sue him from wanting to catch up on as much sleep as he could. He finally finds the offending device, opening one eye just to make sure he's not ignoring something important before going back to sleep. But then he reads the contact name on the screen and shoots up. He's definitely awake now. "Hello?" "Hi, is this Evan Buckley?" A voice he doesn't recognize asks and he's nodding as he runs a hand over his face trying to chase the rest of the sleep away. "Yeah, that's me." "We're calling from Durand School because you're listed as a contact for one of our students, Christopher Diaz?" or the one where Buck picks up a sick Christopher from School. The first installment of the extra fics for the trauma fic verse. Can be read as a standalone.

there’s no way that we could rewind (1.5k, G)

"Okay, they should be back here soon with your discharge papers," Buck says, coming back into the room and Eddie wants to cheer at the fact he wouldn't have to stay the night, "then we can get you home." "We?" He says, shooting a confused glance at Buck, who squares his shoulder as if he was expecting Eddie to put up a fight. "I'm staying with you," he says, tone final and Eddie groans. "Why?" "Why? Did you forget what happened today?" Buck's looking at him like he's crazy and he didn't think he should be this annoyed by it, but he is. "I don't need a babysitter, I'm a medic," he complains and Buck steps closer to the bed. "The only reason they are letting you go tonight is because I, a trained EMT, am agreeing to keep an eye on you so I don't care if you have a secret MD you never told me about, I'm staying with you or I'm not checking you out and you can stay here." "You wouldn't," Eddie frowns because he doesn't pout, but maybe he is pouting as Buck huffs, crossing his arms across his chest. "Try me."

or Buck takes Eddie home after the well collapse. The second installment of the extra fics for the trauma fic verse. Can be read as a standalone.

Buck going down is what makes Eddie move. The immediate threat is gone, Chris is safe and in his arms, so the gravity of it all hits him like a truck as Chim, Hen, and Bobby lower Buck into the cot behind him. It makes him adjust his grip on Christopher, getting him properly on his lap, before standing up and walking to Buck like something is pulling him. or The one at the VA hospital after the tsunami The third installment of the extra fics for the trauma fic verse Can be read as a standalone.

this surprise ending i’m depending on (could be the story of another us) (3.3k, T) (no happy ending)

wondering why won’t you crush me (you know I'll put you above me) (1.4k,G) (No happy ending)

"Buck is on a date. And Eddie is heartbroken. That much he knows. That's not the problem. Well, it is a problem, but not the problem at the moment. The problem is that he's heartbroken in a non-tragic way so he doesn't know how to make himself feel better besides moping around in his living room. He can't compare his wife leaving him or becoming a widower with his feelings for his best friend not being reciprocated. The closest thing he can come up with to compare is when the girl from his chemistry lab said no when he asked her to homecoming. But the comparison feels too small. Or maybe his feelings for Buck are too big. And it's not like he told Buck. It's not like he didn't fully realize exactly how much he wanted it until it was taken from him. But the thing is, it wasn't taken for him. Buck is still there. And Eddie had lived through Buck not being there, for a few horrible minutes Buck was gone gone, and he never wants to go through that again. Buck just wasn't his." or Buck is on a date and Eddie pines.

Maybe he was scared of what it meant. Because that seems to be the only thing he’s feeling. Fear. And an irrational need to sit down and cry. Maybe not irrational. He just never saw Buck look that… happy? Giddy? Free? And Eddie wants that for him. He does. By God he does. Buck deserves happiness. Last week he would’ve been ecstatic. Last week. or Buck has a boyfriend. Eddie has feelings about it.

in too deep to find a safe way out (1.5k, G) (No happy ending)

It happens slowly. It's like the high tide slowly making its way across the sand on a lazy afternoon. It's not what Eddie expects. He thought that if he ever felt this way again it would be sudden. A tidal wave. The realization is almost… peaceful. Maybe it would've been peaceful. Under better, more ideal circumstances. or Eddie's feelings come to light during Chim and Maddie's wedding.

tick tock goes the clock (1k, T):

Ficlets:

Buck always calls back. The lack of reaction makes Eddie move faster. Scream louder. But nothing changes. The storm is raging. The clock is ticking or Buck gets struck by lightning. And Eddie is counting down the seconds.

Season 7 premiere speculation where Eddie needs to hold back Buck (500 words)

Season 7 premiere speculation (kinda) where Buck has a panic attack and Eddie kisses him to stop it (500ish words)

#911 fic #911 fanfic #buddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #writing #masterlist #i need to accept i constantly write for this idiots so #masterlist oaksasoaksasaoksa #i put the ones i like the most at the top tho lol #yeah

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bidisasterevankinard · 1 year ago

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Inspiration Saturday 🎸🎙️🎧

Tagged by my love @honestlydarkprincess who started it with really amazing Natalia/Lucy post💙💙💙💙

I was waiting months to find idea for enemies to lovers and FINALLY

Meet mood board for enemies to lovers singers buddie au + snippet

context Buck's ex outed him to public when Buck wasn't even thinking about coming out as bi

Drowning in sadness and in the feeling that his whole life is going downhill, Buck hears the doorbell ring and despite all his desires to fuck off the one who came, he still goes to the door.

Maybe it's Bobby who came to say that Buck ruined his second chance and he doesn't want to see him on their label anymore. Buck will understand. Doesn't mean it won't finish him off now.

After open the door all the desire to say fuck off only increases exponentially when he sees who is standing behind the door. Meeting with brown eyes Buck wants to disappear underground

“Great. Like I need more problems now.”

Call him an asshole; he doesn't have any forces to be kind to Eddie despite their truce.

Eddie only raises his hands up in sight of surrender. In one hand he had a bottle. He has his trademark grin on his lips, which Buck wants to erase with his fist. Or his cock.

“I came with peace. And whiskey," Eddie shakes the bottle.

He is silent for a second, obviously choosing his words, and then his grin subsides and Buck sees in his eyes regret and something that can be described as sympathy and concern.

"I'm sorry, Buck. Sincerely sorry. No one should have to go through this. You had to come out on your own terms when you were ready,” big browns look him right in the soul and Buck feels like he has new portions of tear ready to come.

He refuses to cry in front of Eddie, so he clenches his fists so that his nails leave marks.

“Yeah, well, it's not like that anymore. And my career may be over.”

“Maybe yes, maybe no. Some people will certainly send negative messages, but I'm sure many will support you. I've already seen tweets that aren't very flattering about your ex. He may think he's done something cool, but he's just an asshole. And I have a suggestion.”

The smirk is back in big plush lips.

“Which one?” Buck frowns.

“Another song. About him. Where you lay out everything you think about this asshole. I'll add some. I already have a sketch. I wrote it when I saw the news," Eddie takes his notebook from jacket. "That's why I came late. I wanted to give you some time to cool down.”

“Hate song? Seriously?”

Buck could expect many things from Eddie: came here to have fun about the fact that Buck's career is over, to point out that Buck always went to destroy himself, hell, Buck admits that he could even have expected real sympathy from Eddie, but not an offer to write a song about his ex.

“And why not? I'm sure you want to kick his ass, but shaming him for the whole world by telling your story and recording a song seems to me a worthy "reward" for him.”

For a second Buck lets himself imagine it and can't deny that the idea of using their talents and humiliating this asshole seems pleasant to him.

Remembering that they are still on the doorsteps, he lets Eddie come in and leads him into the living room.

“Let's have a drink and I'll think about it”

song which is inspired this scene and au

Tagging if they want to share :@911onabc @ebdaydreamer @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @lover-of-mine @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @panbuckley @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @shortsighted-owl @barbiediaz @buddierights @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @hippolotamus @transboybuckley @devirnis @heartbeatdiaz @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @userdisaster @caroandcats @mandzuking17 @sibylsleaves @translasso and anyone who wants to share

#Spotify #inspiration saturday #enemies to lovers singers au wip #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #my wips #my writing

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doeeyeseddie · 1 year ago

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seven sentence sunday

@fangkinkdiaz tagged me (thank you emma mwah), so here are seven-ish sentences (i didn't even attempt to count)

Chris ambles over to her and Buck watches for a minute, feeling kind of strange about seeing them together – like two parts of his life meeting that don’t quite belong together. They seem to get along though, despite Christopher’s unusual disinterest earlier, and Natalia’s still obvious awkwardness. It’s clear to see that she doesn’t usually hang out with kids a lot.

Buck turns away and starts gathering the ingredients for dinner. He’s peeling potatoes when there’s another knock at his door, though this time there’s no question who it is.

He rinses off his hands and goes to let Eddie in.

“Hey,” he greets him with a smile, and Eddie looks up and smiles back. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” Eddie says, and his smile grows even bigger. “She was really cool about it, and promised not to set me up with any friends’ sons or nephews or neighbors. Not immediately, at least.”

Buck laughs and pulls Eddie into the loft and his arms for a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Eddie murmurs, muffled against Buck’s shoulder. “And thanks for picking Christopher up, too.”

“Anytime, literally,” Buck says, “you know that.”

“Yeah.” Eddie lets go of him and steps fully inside, toeing off his shoes and shrugging out of his jacket. He stops a few steps inside, staring towards the living room. “Oh, uh, h– hey, Natalia.”

i tag @hattalove @capseycartwright @thatbuddie @like-the-rest-of-la @littlespoonevan @try-set-me-on-fire @shitouttabuck and @rewritetheending if you want to!

#does eddie canonically take off his shoes in buck's loft? no but i don't care #they all leave their shoes on way too much anyway #p #tag meme

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princessamericachavez · 2 years ago

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The waking up, having forgotten and remembering the full extent of what forever is

6x17 Spec (AO3)

“Okay, so, a couple years ago, we were responding to a call and then he got... he got shot, right in front of me... in the middle of the street... and out of nowhere, he almost died.” “So he had his very own brush with death,” Natalia’s eyebrows arch. “Cool.”

“Hey, are you alright?” Natalia asks, snapping Buck back to reality.

His coffee’s gone cold. He looks at the cup, shyly, then back at her. To be honest, Buck is far from fine. He’s exhausted. The day was long, the calls were complicated, Eddie was acting off, Chim was stressing out about proposing to his sister like they aren’t already practically married anyway, and all he wants deep down is to go home, take a shower and sleep twelve hours straight.

But he’s been pushing back this date with Natalia for almost a whole week now (not his fault, just STUFF that kept randomly happening and getting in the way because the Universe will not give Evan Buckley a single break) and he didn’t want her to think he was ghosting her or something. So now he’s here, staring at a cold coffee cup, thoughts far away.

“Sorry, yeah. I’m- I was just thinking about that call, from this morning...”

“The proposal,” Natalia guesses.

Buck nods with a heavy sigh.

“The sky diver... You know, I actually told Chim to do that last week?” He asks, dread filling him up, but shakes the idea as quickly as possible. “I just- I keep thinking about that guy. He was in love, he had every single reason to survive, to live for... and he just, he didn’t make it.”

Buck still remembers the man’s ribs cracking under his palms, his fiancé’s sobs somewhere across the street, Bobby’s hand on his shoulder forcing him to stop. He’s gone, kid.

“It’s just death,” Natalia says, gently. “Most people who go there don’t come back.”

“Yeah, but I did,” Buck says, a little too sharply. “I- I came back, I got a second chance. Why didn’t he? He had so much to live for...”

“Didn’t you?”

Buck blinks at her. He thinks of endless hospital hallways, of a thick glass wall, of his own face filled with every cruel word he’s ever said. He thinks of the words Bobby Nash is dead, and a Diaz-shapped hole in the world.

“Yeah, I did. But-”

“But he had more?” Natalia guesses.

Buck shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know. I just- It doesn’t seem fair.”

“Death isn’t fair, Buck,” her eyes sparkle as she speaks, like they do every time they broach her favorite subject. Which is, if he’s being honest, every time they meet. “Death just is. And everything else, well... it doesn’t matter.”

“It has to matter,” Buck shakes his head. “There has to be a reason.”

“A reason he died? Or a reason you survived?”

“I don’t know. Both? I just- I wish I knew, you know? I wish I could tell for sure why I’m still here.”

“To share your wisdom with me?” Natalia teases and it manages to make him chuckle, though even he can tell the sound is far from happy.

“Maybe. Maybe that’s why.”

Maybe he came back to meet her, to know her, to love her and be loved by her, to finally get it right. Yeah. Maybe. It doesn’t feel entirely right, though.

“I just hate how random these things are, you know? This guy did everything right, but he just flew across a bank robbery car chase, and... just like that, his life was over.”

“In a flash?” Natalia asks, arching an eyebrow, easily guessing where Buck’s thoughts really are. And he’s slightly embarrassed, because he really should know by now that he’s not the center of the universe, but he can’t help it when these things affect him.

“These things just keep happening when you least expect them.”

“These things... plural?” She asks, eyes a little eager again, clearly guessing he’s about to mention another brush with death.

“It’s like- like when Eddie got shot,” he says. “You- you know Eddie, right, my best friend? He- he was at the call at Marie’s funeral, when we met,” he explains, which really shouldn’t be necessary because even if they haven’t officially met he knows he’s mentioned Eddie more than once to Natalia. What did you do today? How did you day go? So where were you on the weekend? The answer always leads back to Eddie and Chris. Still, Natalia has the good grace to nod along. “Okay, so, a couple years ago, we were responding to a call and then he got... he got shot, right in front of me... in the middle of the street... and out of nowhere, he almost died.”

“So he had his very own brush with death,” Natalia’s eyebrows arch. “Cool.”

The word rips through him like a bullet, like lightning, it knocks the air out of his lungs and fills them with something akin to acid.

“Cool?” He says, voice low and slow and angry. “Eddie almost dying wasn’t ‘cool’, Nat. He was bleeding out in the middle of the street. I had to drag him out, I had to beg him not to die on the way to the hospital, he- he could’ve died. For real. Forever.”

“But he didn’t, just like you.”

“It doesn’t matter! Just- just because he survived it doesn’t mean it’s nothing!”

And just as he’s starting to feel awful about raising his voice, something shifts in Natalia’s face. A small, victorious, smile blooms across her face and her eyes shine with a new kind of excitement. And, just like that, it comes crashing down on him.

“This... this was never a date, was it?” He asks, voice hoarse.

At that, her expression twists guiltily. She shakes her head.

“Then- then what was the whole... the being interested in my dying.”

“Oh, I am interested,” Natalia says, lightly. “But I think you didn’t really want to talk about it. Not seriously, at least. The way you brought it up, when we first met, like it was just something funny or curious that happened to you... I figured you needed someone to match that tone, to help you to open up. And eventually...”

“...realize that it wasn’t nothing,” Buck finishes, ducking his head to hide his embarrassment.

“Just because you’re still here, Buck, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. To you... to the people who love you.”

For the first time, Buck’s head actually thinks about his family seeing him die. He thinks about how Eddie’s shooting wrecked him, and finally understands that perhaps that’s why they’ve been acting weird since he came back, like he could break any second, like they are waiting for him to catch up on what happened. Buck, you died. Buck, you died. You died, Buck.

“I know it happened. I just... I want it to mean something.”

“It already does. It can mean whatever you want it to.”

Buck takes in a shaky breath and lets it out slowly, meeting her eyes again.

“Death isn’t about life ending, Buck, it’s about the journey before. And, for you, there’s still a whole journey ahead... and behind. You can’t shake off your past like you’re changing skin, you wouldn’t learn anything that way. This is a second chance at your life, not some other imagined one. A lot of people who go through similar situations, who die and come back, want to burn it all to the ground, be someone new... but that’s just another way of running away.”

“Or go to Italy,” Buck huffs, amused, and for the first time in this entire conversation Natalia looks confused. He just shakes his head. “I guess I’ve just been... I’ve been trying to use this to find my way, but instead I’ve been so lost.”

“Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places,” she says, with a sweet smile, and he knows she means herself.

“Yeah, maybe. But I don’t know where else to look.”

“I can’t help you with that,” Natalia says, as she gestures for the check. “But in my experience, life and death aren’t so different in that they can catch you in the most unexpected places. Sometimes... right under your nose.”

“Wouldn’t that be funny?” Eddie’s never going to let him live this down when he tells him. “Uh... I feel like I should be paying for the session, or sessions, you know?”

“You can just pay for my coffee,” she laughs. “And maybe one of those chocolate muffins to go.”

Buck laughs, and hopes that Natalia keeps in touch because, even if clearly they haven’t been dating, he kinda likes her. She’d be a good friend to have around.

“So... if I have any more questions... about death?” He says, watching her pick up her purse and straighten her dress.

“You can always call me, Buck, but I think you already have all the answers you’re looking for. You just gotta let yourself see them.”

And with that, she gives his shoulder a quick squeeze as she passes by and walks away. Buck sighs, and finds himself smiling.

As he walks out of the cafe, he pulls out his phone and shoots Eddie a quick text: Man do I have a story to tell you. Wanna grab a beer?

Eddie’s reply comes quickly: Always. My place or yours?

Yours. Buck writes back, hopping into the jeep.

#911 fox #911 spec #buddie #sort of #evan buck buckley #911 fic #buddie fic

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