#but my time at portia is the first one and its great too

[anotherstudtouse]

as someones whos blog has changed from many different fandoms it is totally acceptable. I write for a little bit of everything and who I write for the most depends on my current hyperfixactions. I wrote solely for Wanda Maximoff for about a year or two before my interest moved to smosh. Never apologies for your interests and moving on.

I cant wait to see what and who you write next!!!

thank you so much!!!! i appreciate the support. I thought maybe i had a little longer before this happened but I ended up playing a lot of video games when I was recovering from my dental procedure and so that's kind of what's taken over all my brainpower lmao

[sea-owl]

Oh Colin is gonna go absolutely feral once his queen comes back 8 months pregnant waddling around the palace like a penguin like he's one snap of a hairthread away from bubble wrapping Penelope and locking her away in a tower. Francesca had to give him a potion to calm his ass down because he quadruple checked every crook and cranny of the palace in the last hour making sure its baby proof. This himbo king is gonna fistfight the wind if it made Pen shiver and eradicate every dust particle in the underworld if Pen sneezed ONCE. Like please give me my himbo king who's stupidly in love and goes batshit insane at anything that even mildly inconveniences his queen i love him 😂

Anonymous asked: Please, please tell us more about pregnant Penelope’s return to the underworld. I’m just picturing the scene in my head, and it’s either cute or hilarious.

I'm dying. I made Lord Featherington a wind god in this. So now I'm imagining Colin fistfighting him because HOW DARE HE MAKE COLIN'S WIFE AND THE QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD SHIVER! It can be a bonding experience for Colin and Portia.

Here's something on Penelope's return.

"Thank you Phillip," Penelope said as they were finishing their trek into the Underworld. "I know it hasn't been easy with me and Eloise being pregnant at the same time."

Phillip shook his head. "She is my wife and you are my friend Penelope. Plus it is quite literally my job to guide souls down to the Underworld, the queen being no exception."

Penelope giggled as she opened the door to Bloomsbury Palace, and then she blinked. She looked again and yup someone completely redecorated the inside. It looked like someone remade the inside of the palace into a pillow fort. Wall the walls and floors were made out of the squish material. Every piece of furniture looked like it had it's corners rounded off, while the vases that held Penelope's plants were now fastened to shelves on the walls. Actually Penelope didn't mind the shelf design, maybe she get some for her office.

"Penelope," Phillip whispered, his eyes taking in the scene around him. "Do you want me to stay a little longer?"

"No, no," Penelope said. "Eloise is waiting for you. I'll find the others soon enough."

"Are you sure?" Phillip asked.

"Yes. Now go before Eloise decides to another fish in the twins' beds," Penelope said.

Phillip shuddered. It took forever to get the fish smell out of Amanda's bed the last time Eloise did that. Phillip hates fish too so that had not been fun.

Penelope waved her friend and right hand goodbye before turning back to what used to be her home.

"I'll guess I'll look in the throne room first," Penelope muttered to herself.

Penelope began her waddled and immediately began cursing whoever authorized this change. This was not easy for her to walk on, and her balance was already not that great with the baby kicking all over Penelope's stomach. About ten steps in Penelope gave up and used her powers to float around the palace.

The throne room wasn't any better as it was covered it the same pillow material as the rest of the palace. Hell her throne looked to be made out of this material too! What the hell was going on?

"Oh thank Chaos you're home!"

Penelope looked up to see Francesca running forward as fast as she could on the pillow floor. It wasn't that fast to be hones.

"Fran what is going on?" Penelope asked.

"Your husband has lost his damn mind!" Francesca exclaimed. "Colin has turned the entire palace into this! Everything and anything has been baby proofed. The guards don't even wear their normal armor instead he's given them this stuffed padding. I thought Felicity was fistfight him when he suggested damming the rivers near the palace because 'what if the baby fell in?'"

"Why would the baby be even near the rivers?" Penelope asked.

Francesca threw her hands up. "That's what we said!"

Penelope's hand covered her mouth as she looked around once more. Oh shit this was all her husband's doing. "Let me talk to him. Where is he?"

"In your room," Francesca answered. "Michael dumped him there after I gave him a potion to knock him out for a few minutes of peace. It should be wearing off soon if it hasn't already."

Penelope nodded and teleported to the room she shared with her husband. Colin was indeed awake and . . . Penelope wasn't quite sure what he was doing.

"Husband," Penelope called out.

Colin looked up and his face brightened. "Pen!" Teleporting to her said Colin pulled Penelope in for a kiss. "My beautiful wife, how are you?"

"Very confused," Penelope said. "Colin what is going on? Why does our home look like the inside of a pillow fort?"

"I'm helping you!" Colin answered with a grin. "I baby proofed the palace."

Penelope did not return her husband's smile. This in turn caused Colin's to fall. "What's wrong Pen?"

"Colin this is more of a hinderance than anything. I can't even walk properly," Penelope answered truthfully.

Colin's face fell further. "Oh."

An idea came to Penelope's mind, something she's been excited to try for when she finally came home. She had seen Phillip and Eloise do it. Penelope had been jealous of the bliss that had been on Eloise's face. "I do have a way you can help me though if you turn everything back to the way it was before."

Colin looked up "Oh?" He snapped his fingers and the marble walls and flooring came back.

Penelope turned around and pulled her husband to her back. Placing his hands underneath her stomach. "Gently lift and hold it," Penelope instructed.

Colin did just that and Penelope could have sworn she could have moaned at that moment. She would swear the feeling was better than what they did to put the baby in there. The pain in her back had elevated and her head fell back against her husband.

At that exact moment baby decided it didn't like being ignored and kicked where daddy's hand was.

Colin looked down at Penelope. "Was that?"

Penelope nodded. "Yeah, that's baby."

Pure and utter adoration covered her husband's face. Kissing the side of her head as his thumbs massage against her stomach.

Penelope felt at bliss. Though this did prove to her that for all future kids she has to plan them so she gives birth in the Underworld. If Colin was like this the she was gone for most of her pregnancy Chaos only knows what he would do should she give birth up on the surface.

[weepingfromacedartree]

Dancing Around the Truth: Chapter 7

Hi friends! Chapter 7 is now available for anyone who is interested 😊

Hope you enjoy! This chap ended up being one of my favorite and most annoying things I've ever written.

Chapter 7: Sunday

Sunday (Two Months Before)

An engagement ball is a monumental occasion for any young couple. A celebration to commemorate the beginning of an eternal union. An opportunity to bring one’s family and dearest friends (and most influential members of the Ton) together to witness the pair’s love. For the Featheringtons…

“It’s a miracle!” 

Penelope winced at the sound of a corkscrew popping off its bottle, promptly followed by it nearly shattering the window glass beside her. 

“Mamaaaa,” Prudence whined while pinning a loose curl back into place. “Do not sound so shocked. You act as though I was destined for spinsterhood before Harry came along.” With a snort: “I am not Penelope, after all.” 

“Forgive me dear,” Portia sighed, handing her eldest daughter a full flute of champagne. “But after five futile seasons, dare I say that a mother is allowed to celebrate her daughter’s engagement!” Clinking her glass with Prudence’s, she added: “I’ll invade France if I ever manage to marry Penelope off.”

“A generous wedding present, mama,” Penelope muttered beneath her breath. She did not have to look up from her book to know that no one heard her. They rarely did. On this occasion, she was actually grateful for the inattention. It was far from her wittiest retort.

“Stop whining, Prudence,” Philipa chimed in. “Mama didn’t even throw me an engagement ball when I married Albion. I —”

“You were lucky to get a wedding at all, need I remind you” Portia shushed Philipa by raising a flute to her lips. “Just be happy that the winds of fortune have washed upon our family’s shores once again.”

From the window seat across the room, Penelope rolled her eyes at the mixed metaphor. 

The “winds of fortune” Portia was referring to had drifted all the way from Ireland. From a distant, wealthy (and imaginary) aunt who had passed away shortly after the 1815 social season had begun. 

At the beginning of the season, Portia had been hyper-focused on securing a match for Prudence. The increased inattention on Penelope provided her with many benefits she had not been afforded in seasons past. Namely, the ability to slip by her mama’s notice while dressing for a social event. For the first time since her debut, you would have been hard pressed to find Penelope Featherington in a lemon-colored ball gown. 

Alas… Even if she was able to find ways to avoid her mother’s judgment before a ball, there was no escaping the questions (and criticisms) that came after. Namely, the ones pertaining to how Penelope obtained the money for the emerald, sky, and blush dresses in the first place. 

Imaginary Aunt Birdie’s money had successfully kept those questions at bay. For a little while, at least.

Just as she had planned, Portia had been too caught up in the family’s sudden influx of capital to notice when Penelope’s new attire went far past what her allotted pin money could afford. But when Prudence got engaged and Penelope went from their mother’s worst disappointment to her sole disappointment…

“Penelope, get your nose out of that book and come celebrate your sister’s great achievement!” 

Penelope, the ever-dutiful daughter, did as she was told. Lifting her chin, she released her book and stood from her spot. Walking slowly, evenly, one foot following the other, she advanced to the middle of the room where her mother and sisters stood together. Standing just off to the side, she accepted a flute from her maid, Anne, and listened to her family’s uninterrupted discussion of Prudence’s impending nuptials. 

Penelope stood silent. Her physical presence had been requested, not her voice. 

Alone in her mind, she thought of Prudence’s “achievement” in securing a husband. 

Although there may have been times in the past when the idea of marrying someone had been a happy thought in her mind, Penelope had never viewed becoming a bride as an achievement in and of itself. It was certainly framed that way — not just by her mother, but by the very invention of the social season. 

A season was like a game. Young women and men of any age participated in events and competed for each other’s affections with the purpose of finding a spouse. A wedding was the final chapter. The happily ever after. The prize. By all accounts, becoming a bride was an achievement. But justifications and all, it did not feel that way to Penelope.

Maybe she was a romantic and found the metaphor cynical. Maybe she was a feminist and found it degrading. Maybe it was because she found that sense of achievement through Whistledown and could not relate to those whose sense of purpose was rooted in their ability to marry. Maybe it… Didn’t matter at all. There were more important things for Penelope to ponder than marriage. 

After what she deemed had been a sufficient amount of time to silently support her sister’s achievement, Penelope placed one foot behind her. Followed by the other. 

Penelope, the perennial wallflower, retreated to her spot by the window. Lifting her chin to the ceiling, she swallowed the last drops of champagne and felt the bubbles prick her throat. Turning on her heel, she kept her footsteps light and as quiet as her mouth. Taking her seat, she wondered if her mother would have noticed her absence if she had stomped instead of tip-toed. 

Over the next few minutes, Penelope listened as champagne bubbles rose from her mother’s stomach all the way up to her brain, bringing about a familiar but rare lightness to Portia’s voice. The more flutes she emptied, the softer her tone became. And the more she focused on her eldest daughter’s monumental, joyous, enviable goddamn achievement.

As Prudence stood in front of the mirror putting the finishing touches on her engagement ball attire, Portia stepped into the reflection. One hand on her daughter’s shoulder, she cooed, “Today is all about you.”

“Even the Lord must surrender his day for this glorious celebration,” Penelope muttered beneath her breath. She did not have to look up from her book to know that no one heard her.

“I require the room,” Portia spewed out, the sweetness leaving her voice like a pebble caught in a geyser. When the room did not immediately empty, she clarified: “Now!”

Varley, Philipa, and the maids all fled the room at once. Prudence did not move from her spot, opting instead to continue staring into the mirror. She seemed too transfixed by her appearance to heed the danger in her mother’s tone. 

“Prudence, go run to the powder room. Your nose needs tending to.”

“Mama, my nose is —”

“Prudence!”

With that, the future Lady Dankworth fled the room. 

Penelope had not moved from her spot either. She knew the second that Portia’s tone had changed that the demands did not apply to her. Portia had something else in mind for her youngest daughter.

“If you think your little eye rolls and snide remarks belittling your own family go unnoticed, Penelope, you are sorely mistaken.” 

“Mama —”

“I will never understand where you gained this wildly inappropriate, completely unearned sense of pride from. You run around this house acting as though you are better than the rest of us. You think yourself ‘independent,’ but in actuality, you are just alone. You have no prospects, but refuse any assistance in securing a man to marry. A man to keep you safe. To give you a family of your own that you can disrespect in any way that pleases you. And worst of all, you do not even seem to care about the threat you pose to your own future. But one day, I promise you, you will care. One day, you will wake up and realize that you have no one left in your life that loves you.” 

Portia gave her daughter a quick, decisive once over. She took in Penelope’s tear-filled eyes. Her clenched fists. The lemon-colored dress she had been unable to weasel herself out of that morning. Her mouth, formed in a tight line, unspeaking. 

“No one will fight to remain in your company when you insist on being such a wicked little wench. Do not come crying to me when that day arrives.”

⚘  ⚘  ⚘

Sleep must have come to Colin at some time between Saturday night and Sunday morning, despite the doubts that set in when he first laid his head down on his pillow. Instead of the light slowly creeping up on him as the moon made way for the sun, it appeared out of nowhere. He blinked and the darkness became light. 

Nearly as quickly as morning came down upon him, Colin exits the putrid door in favor of the sage. To his surprise, it’s already ajar when he reaches it. 

He knocks once. He’s careful to keep his touch light, but the movement inadvertently pushes the door even further open. 

“Oh! Apologies. I didn’t…” he sputters as he locks eyes with Anne. She’s standing between the mint armchair and Penelope, obstructing his view of the redhead in bed. He grabs for the doorknob with the intention to shut it closed, but before his hand can make contact with its cold brass surface, the maid steps aside.

“Good morning, Colin.” With a hint of a smile on her face, Penelope invites him forward. Anne passes by him as he leaves his spot in the doorframe. 

“Shouldn’t you be amongst the sinners and saints this morning?” she asks surreptitiously.

“I — What?” Colin asks as he approaches, thoroughly not understanding her meaning. 

“It’s the Lord’s day, is it not?”

A wave of clarity hits him as he takes his seat. It is Sunday. He had lost all track of time at some point between Tuesday morning and now. Judging from the smirk on Penelope’s face and the fact that she’s never paid an ounce of credence towards his church attendance before, he surmises that she has already gathered this. 

“I will have to pass on that opportunity today.” He lifts his eyes to the ceiling. “My apologies.”

Penelope laughs, bringing on a subsequent cough that immediately brings a distaste to Colin’s tongue. He should be grateful that these coughs are few and far between now, but he would prefer them to be gone completely. 

“Not feeling especially religious this morning, Col?” 

“I don’t feel especially religious most mornings.” When Penelope quirks an eyebrow, he explains: “I believe in God, I just don’t believe he ever intended for us to spend so much time thinking of him. Why give us an entire world to explore, then expect us to invest so much time in a single church room?” 

She laughs again — louder this time, but without the subsequent cough. Colin reflexively crosses his arms in front of him; he thought his comment was more astute than comical. 

“That’s an interesting critique, coming from you,” she says.

“How do you mean?” 

Penelope raises her fingers towards the room around them. “You have spent nearly an entire week in my chambers. Surely you can afford God a single hour in his.” 

The twist of Colin’s arms gets even tighter. “An advocate of the church now, are we?” he says with a forced air of nonchalance. 

“Hardly,” she replies. “In truth, I would not consider myself a particularly religious person, either. But I do tend to enjoy my time in services.” She shrugs. “I enjoy the stories.” 

Colin cannot contain the snort that leaves his nose in response to her words. When Penelope directs him a look of feigned horror, he explains: “Apologies. I have never known a person to derive such pleasure in reading the same story over and over and over again.” Ignoring the look of annoyance she throws him now, Colin picks up the book sitting on the table beside her. “Speaking of which, where did we leave off yesterday?” 

Before he can remove the bookmark, Penelope answers: “I believe I started dozing off when Elizabeth learned of her sister’s plans to run off to Gretna Green and elope.” 

Colin feels the tips of his ears burn red. 

During his recitation of Pride & Prejudice, Colin could not help but take note of certain similarities between his own life and this work of supposed fiction. On his first day reading to Penelope — a lifetime ago on Tuesday afternoon — Colin had shuttered when he had read Chapter 3. When Elizabeth overheard Darcy speaking ill of her at a ball. 

She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me. He can recall the words in perfect detail, even now. 

Relating to the prideful, arrogant Mr. Darcy had been bad enough. Relating to Elizabeth’s impulsive, selfish little sister… 

Ears still burning red, he turns the page to Chapter 47 once again. Finger on the text, Colin parts his lips, sucks in a mouth full of air, then stops. 

He gives Penelope a quick, cautious once over. He takes in her morning sky eyes, bright and blue. Her fingers, tugging at strands of red hair. The sleeves of her pink dressing gown rolled up to her elbows. The sliver of white nightgown peeking down her middle. Her mouth, formed in a tight but familiar smile. 

“Are you feeling well enough to carry on?” 

“Certainly.” 

⚘  ⚘  ⚘

It’s funny how long one can stretch out ten chapters of a novel. On Tuesday, Colin had rushed through Volume One with the speed of a race horse, fearing what Penelope might say if he gave her too much time to speak between chapters. Today, he did not feel so eager to fill the air between them. 

Today was filled with many witty interjections. A few coughing fits. Lots of tea. Some notes on the weather. A few comfortable silences. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and many biscuit breaks in between. 

They did not reach Chapter 57 until nightfall. 

“Elizabeth had never been more at a loss to make her feelings appear what they were not. It was necessary to laugh, when she would rather have cried. Her father had most cruelly mortified her, by what he said of Mr. Darcy's indifference, and she could do nothing but wonder at such a want of penetration, or fear that perhaps, instead of his seeing too little, she might have fancied too much.”

As Colin recites these words aloud, he mentally adds “Elizabeth Bennet” to the growing list of Pride & Prejudice characters to which he can regretfully relate. After everything they have endured together, Elizabeth thinks that the possibility of Darcy marrying her could be nothing more than a cruel joke. She is so caught up in the errors of their past and circumstances of the present to hold out any hope for a future together. 

He shuts the book. 

“If memory recalls, that is not quite the end of the story,” Penelope teases when she realizes the book has been put away. But Colin isn’t in a teasing mood.

“Would you be opposed to delaying the conclusion a little while longer?” In fairness, it is a rather strange place to suddenly pause; there are only four chapters left before they reach the actual endpoint. But there’s something stewing in Colin that he cannot ignore any longer. 

“No… Is everything well?” 

He could cry at the concern in her voice or the troubled look in her eye. He breaks eye contact for just a second, then, with twisted lips, asks: “Could we continue with our conversation from yesterday?” 

“You — you want to continue discussing Whistledown?” Penelope asks apprehensively. 

“No. Not exactly.”

“Your purpose?” 

“No. Uh, not exactly.” 

Looking thoroughly confused and out of suggestions, she nods. “What is it that you wish to discuss, then?”

“What you — What I said. On the night of your family’s ball, last August.” 

Colin does not blame her for not guessing the topic in question correctly. It’s funny how a memory that plagued his mind all season was barely a footnote in their conversation yesterday. It’s funny how a topic he held onto with such immense shame for months now falls from his lips with such desperate force. It’s funny how things change. 

“Oh,” is all she says. 

“After everything we discussed yesterday, it does not feel right for me to let the subject pass by with such inattention.” 

“Colin, we don’t have to,” she offers, but he doesn’t accept the out.

“I think we do. I can only speak for myself, of course, but the subject has been weighing on my mind. Acting as if it has not while sitting here with you…” He recalls words spoken from her lips, just one day before. “It tempts madness.”

Although her face reveals a want to persist in protesting, Penelope nods in understanding. She signals for him to continue.  

“What I said that night was unacceptable, under any circumstances.” Once again, Penelope looks as though she’s about to interject, but she holds her tongue. “But please know that the words I used were born from my own shortsightedness. My inability to discuss the bond we shared, as well as my own misunderstanding of it at the time.” 

“Colin —”

“I don’t say that to excuse my words, I simply wish to explain why I said what I did. Long before that night, I struggled to define our relationship, so unlike any other friendship I have known. Shamefully, I believe it took hindsight for me to properly examine the connection we shared and what it meant to me. On the night of your family’s ball… I was not equipped to discuss such matters with anyone, let alone a dolt like Fife. I brushed it off without any consideration for how my words could reflect on you or what you truly meant to me. I did not treat you with the respect that you deserved. Not just as a lady, but as my dearest friend. And for that I am —”

“Colin,” Penelope interjects, louder this time. Concern is evident in her voice. “I told you at the beginning of this season that you need not apologize for what you said.” 

“I know what you said.” Their conversation on the Queen’s steps is still burned into his mind. “But whether or not you took offense to it, I know my conduct was inappropriate. I know you did not deserve that treatment. From me or anyone else. I have to apol—”

“Colin, stop,” she interjects again. “You have apologized enough as it is. Can’t we leave this matter in the past? It was one mistake. I do not wish for it to follow us around forevermore.”

Appropriate or not, Colin laughs. 

“I have never once apologized for the indiscretion. I certainly tried to, but you never let me get the words out. Much as you are doing now.” 

Penelope laughs too, though much quieter than Colin. After a moment, she says, “Apologies do not have to be voiced aloud for them to be received. Your actions this season spoke louder than any declaration ever could.” 

Penelope’s last admission causes a lump to form in Colin’s throat faster than he thought humanly possible. All season… His efforts had not been in vain. 

“I do accept your apology, in case that is still in question. I am sorry for not —”

“I believe we have apologized this matter to death,” Colin interrupts, feeling much the same as Penelope. After nearly a week by her side, he’s finally starting to accept that the damage done by his past ignorance is not as fatal as he once thought it. 

“Perhaps, but…” She bites the corner of her rosy lip, something clearly still weighing on her mind. “Before we move past this matter entirely, I feel I must confess that I was not entirely truthful about my feelings towards your words that night.” 

“Oh,” Colin says, the relief he felt a moment ago already starting to wither away. His fingers absentmindedly pick at a loose string on the seam of the armchair.

“I know I claimed to be unaffected, but my feelings were wounded.” Likely sensing the panic coursing through his veins at the moment, she clarifies: “That does not change how I feel now — of course — but if we are truly getting everything out in the open, I feel it necessary to explain why I acted so coldly towards you when you returned from Italy.”

“Oh,” Colin says again, this time in understanding instead of panic. “Please trust that I know you possessed every right to hate me for what I said that —”

“No.” Her face is a wash of worry and disbelief. And a bit of frustration. “Please, do not say that. I could never hate you.”

“You just said —” 

“That my feelings were wounded. That is not remotely the same as hating you.” She sinks her teeth into her lip again, the rosiness of her skin starting to resemble the color of blood. “I imagine such hurt can only come from someone you truly care for.” 

Yet again, Colin is at a loss for words. For a moment, he and Penelope do nothing but watch each other. Her teeth unclench. His fingers still. She opens her mouth to speak again. 

“I promise that I do not mean to punish you or add to your suffering. I’m sure we can both agree that you feel poorly enough as it is.” Silently, Colin protests, but he does not dare interrupt her now. “What I said that night on the Queen’s steps… I wasn’t lying about the nature of our relationship being somewhat unconventional. But that was an excuse. Although I had no logical reason to take offense to your statements, I was hurt. Knowing what you said… I believed it would be easier to cut you off completely than to continue on as we were. I promise that the only reason I maintained my distance this season was to protect myself. Not to punish you.”

Colin’s mind is swimming with a million questions. “What changed?” is the one he settles on. Even if it was unlike the friendship they once shared, Penelope’s behavior these past few weeks was far from the aloofness she displayed at the beginning of the season. 

Her gaze turns to the side, as if she’s searching for the answer in the darkness outside her window. Eventually, her gaze falls upon him again.  

“No matter how awfully I acted towards you, you kept fighting to remain in my company. That means infinitely more than a drunken conversation overheard at a ball.” 

Something rising in his chest — an emotion that’s not so easy for him to name — distracts him from the questions racing through his mind. After a moment, only one thought seems important enough to voice aloud. 

“And where we stand now…”

“I am grateful for you remaining by my side this week — this whole season. I…” Her attention turns towards the darkness outside once again. “I must agree that defining our relationship has always been somewhat of an elusive endeavor. Even before this season, our ‘friendship’ did not seem so simple. Now… I don’t know exactly what to call it. Nevertheless, I am glad to have you in my life again.”

Despite the tremble in his throat, Colin tells her: “I am glad to have you back in my life, as well. My words may be failing me, but I suspect there is nothing I could say to express such gratitude.”

From his spot only a few feet away, Colin imagines that a similar flood of emotion is bubbling up in her now. 

“I am glad for all of it,” she tells him. “For my own errors, for the interim distance that separated us. For everything. I feel as though I only knew one version of you before. I am glad to have a fuller image of you now.”

Colin smiles as he recalls those words falling from his own lips just one day earlier. It’s funny how so much can change in so little time. 

Abandoning sincerity for sarcasm, he asks: “So you’re glad to know Colin the charmer and Colin the arse?”

She snorts, breaking the angst previously evident on her face. After regaining some composure, she answers: “Yes. Are you glad to be acquainted with both Penelope Featherington and Lady Whistledown?” 

“Yes,” he chuckles. “Grateful indeed.” 

Once their quiet laughter turns to reticence, Colin watches as Penelope’s smile starts to twist.

“There’s another question that has been on my mind this week, if you don’t mind me asking it.”

When Colin nods, Penelope does not immediately ask it. Her lips continue to twist, as if she is still not certain of the question she has just requested to broach. Until finally… 

“Why did you decide to stay in Mayfair between seasons? Regardless of your usual travels, it is an uncommon decision to say the least. And with your family spreading out across the country…” 

Colin is surprised by the question. It seems far too simple for the troubled look still present on her face.

“Honestly, I wasn’t thinking about my plans in the long-term. I simply have business to attend to that requires me to remain in Mayfair for the time being.”

“Business?” Penelope repeats, eyebrows adorably raised. 

Colin looks out the nearest window, attempting to discern the outline of his family home across the way. A challenging task, given the dark night sky outside. 

“Kate and Anthony’s first wedding anniversary has already come to pass, and yet, the family home is still crawling with an alarming number of Bridgertons. I fear our departure from the Viscount and Viscountess' home is long overdue.” He glances back to Penelope, just to find her brows still raised towards the ceiling. “My mama has already found a home on Bruton street for the rest of the family, but I, uh, wish to secure my own lodgings.” 

“Bachelor lodgings?” she asks softly. 

“Something like that,” he mumbles. He knows he could stand to be a bit more forthcoming, but another concern is clouding his mind. 

Sullenly, Colin says: “I assume your own plans to remain in Mayfair have not changed.” 

Penelope waits so long to respond that he wonders if the silence itself — or perhaps the way her eyes keep darting away from him — is the answer to the question he never asked. 

He shouldn’t ask the next question. He shouldn’t pry. He shouldn’t.

“Are relations with your family really so bad that you are willing to remain here by yourself for six months?” 

Penelope finally pulls her attention back to Colin, looking as though it takes a considerable amount of mental force to keep her eyes trained on him. 

“It’s not bad. Just… complicated.”

“How so?” he asks, sensing that Penelope could also stand to be a bit more forthcoming.

After releasing a considerable sigh, she tells him: “I have always felt a bit… out of place in my family. Some days, it feels as though a single strand of red hair is the only tie that binds me to them.” Absentmindedly, she pulls on the bottom of one of her curls. “My wallflower status may be the source of much of that unfamiliarity, but it also offers it’s own type of reprieve. Temporary as it be.”

“How do you mean?” Colin asks, voice close to a whisper. 

“You can get away with quite a bit when you have a tendency to blend into the background of your own home. It —”

“That’s not true,” Colin interjects quietly, but defensively. Internally, he chastises himself for cutting Penelope off when she was finally opening up to him. Offering him a vulnerability he doubts many have been privy to before. But there is only so much self-deprecation that he can hear before he breaks. 

“It is, Colin,” she insists, a sad sort of smile adorning her face. “Or it was, at least, for a while. My entire life, I was the daughter most easily overlooked. At the start of this season, mama became so wholly focused on her purpose of securing Prudence a husband… It felt as though I wasn’t there at all. I —”

“Pen, that’s —”

“Believe me when I say that it was not a tragic circumstance to find myself in. When my mama’s eyes were no longer fixed on me, I suddenly possessed the freedom to do what I desired. To conduct myself how I pleased. To dress in whatever colors satisfied me. For the first time since my debut, I was not forced to costume as a buzzing bee at every ball I attended.”

Against all reason, Colin chuckles. 

“Did I say something humorous?” Penelope asks incredulously.

“I apologize,” he says, genuinely sorry for his sudden extreme change in mood. “I simply cannot recall you ever donning a ball gown of yellow and black stripes.”

“My apologies, then, for the erroneous metaphor,” she says, seemingly holding back a smirk through gritted teeth. “A lemon. I was relieved to no longer be forced to costume as a lemon at every ball I attended.”

“I didn’t —”

“Then Prudence married. For the first time in my life, I was the only subject in my mama’s view.” Humor is gone from her voice just as soon as it came. 

“If we were retiring to our country estate, less than a day’s ride from Mayfair, I could bear living alone with her the remaining six months — there’s plenty of space between the trees for me to disappear into. But no. She decided that making amends with a wealthy, dying cousin in Galway was the best decision for our family.” Penelope takes a very long breath, then: “I could not bring myself to make that journey with her. A signed order from the Queen could not have gotten me into that carriage Sunday morning.” 

From his spot in the armchair, Colin takes in her words. He tries to find something to object to. Something he can offer. Something to fix. 

“Pen, I — Is this truly your only option? You have your sisters. You could —”

“Colin. I know that you worry. And I know this might be hard for you to understand, given your own family and how much they mean to you. But I do not feel any more at home with my sisters than I do with my mama. And even if I did… Prudence is newly married. Philipa is establishing her own family — her own life. I do not wish to fit myself into places I do not belong.” 

As he continues taking in her words, Colin feels as though there is a literal weight building on his shoulders. There’s something about those last few words and their casual deliverance that threatens to bring it all down around him. 

“I am sorry, truly, for the strife you experience within your own family. It kills me to know that you have to make yourself disappear just to exist within the confines of your own home.”

Colin sighs. He thinks of her words. He thinks of his own. He pictures a scale in his mind. He feels an edge beneath him. He tries to push it all away as he opens his mouth to speak. 

“But I do understand feeling as though you don’t belong anywhere.”

Penelope scoffs. She sounds tired when she says: “You have a family waiting for you at Aubrey Hall at this very moment. You have a family home to reside in next season, and yet you are choosing to secure your own lodgings.” 

“I did not mean to compare our circumstances,” he says quickly, a slight panic to his voice. Although she remains firmly planted in her bed, Colin can feel Penelope start to slip away from him. 

For so much of the previous season, Colin had maintained an extremely tedious balance between his need to speak with Penelope and the risk of pushing her further away. So many concerned questions had been left unasked, due to his fears that they would only cause her to flee. But now, Colin does not ask himself whether or not he should have pushed Penelope on this issue. Or whether he should push himself on it. He knows he must.

“My family is far from perfect, but I am eternally grateful for the lot I was given in life. That rootlessness I feel is not tied to my family, only to myself. There are times when I feel out of place in every room I step into, whether that be in the parlor with my siblings or a pub filled with strangers. Or even in my own solitude.”

“How long have you felt this way?” Penelope asks quietly. 

Colin considers the question. 

“I’m sure it has possessed me longer than I can recall, but it’s been especially salient these last two years. When I departed for Greece, it felt as though I was finally progressing towards something. But when I landed back on English shores, that feeling did not cease. It’s as if I am perpetually traveling somewhere, but with no destination in sight. Where I am is never where I should be.”

“I’m sorry. I never realized you felt that way.” Penelope’s voice is filled with empathy, not self-consciousness. Nevertheless, it prompts him to take stock of his current surroundings. 

His head turns to gaze at the now familiar green room. At Penelope’s books. Her artwork on the wall. Scribbled notes tucked into her desk drawers. An ever-ticking grandfather clock. Wax-dripped candles. A gold-trimmed mirror. Bumblebees on porcelain. Green plants. White sheets. 

Everything in this room is Penelope’s. After nearly a week collecting dust in the chair beside her, Colin imagines that he belongs to that group as well. 

“Not here, of course. Not now.” He hopes his voice sounds reassuring. Penelope smiles, and the sight is just enough to convince Colin to ask: “Do you feel out of place when we’re alone together?”

Though her eyes threaten tears, Penelope’s smile only deepens. “No.” 

While laughing a bit awkwardly, she asks, “What was it that you were saying about the perfect Bridgertons?”

“Spare me,” Colin mutters, smile stuck on his face. “You would think that married life would mellow Anthony a bit — or at least distract him from the rest of us long enough deliver some needed peace to the household — but no. Benedict is up to his usual antics, although I suppose there was never any doubt about that. Hyacinth has become a full-blown menace to society — or to Bridgerton House at least. Just last week, she caught Eloise smoking in the back garden and tried to extort her for her pin money. Actually — don’t get me started on Eloise. Without your good influence, she was an even bigger brat than usual this season. You should have —”

“Colin,” Penelope says, humor quickly slipping from her voice. “Even if Eloise and I are no longer the friends we once were, I do not wish to speak ill of her. She had every right to be upset with me for what I did.” 

“My apologies. I did not mean to pull you into my gripes. Nevertheless, I do believe her foul temper is of some relevance.”

“How do you mean?” she asks with a hint of curiosity in her voice. It’s not enough to distract from the guilt evident on her face.

“Just that she seemed… adrift this season. As if the grudge she’s been carrying around like a pet can’t compete with the friendship she lost.” 

“Oh.” That guilty look does not fade away. Her blue eyes flash white as they continually dart to the side. 

Suddenly, Colin realizes that he had mistaken pointed gazes as her simply averting his eye. Her eyes are not merely pointed away from his, they’re looking at the table beside them. At the drawer, specifically. 

“Did you ever manage to read past ‘Dear Penelope?’”

Eyes still stuck on the drawer shut tight, she nods. “Yes.” 

He knows he should keep out of it, but… 

“What did she say?” 

With a downturned smile on her lips, she finally looks back into his eyes. “Nothing you need to worry yourself over. Honest.” 

Colin nods slightly, choosing to accept her assurance that he needs not meddle in their friendship. Not any more than he already has, at least.

After a brief silence between them, Colin starts wracking his brain for the next logical step in this conversation. Then Penelope clears her throat, cutting his train of thought short.

“While we are on the topic of honesty, there is another question I wish to broach.”

“Go ahead,” Colin says warily, disliking the apprehension palpable in her voice. 

“Why did you choose to stay in Mayfair this week, while your entire family departed for Aubrey Hall?” 

“I told you —” Colin starts to respond, simultaneously concerned by the implication and confused by the question itself. Although he had a bad habit of hiding certain truths from her, he had been forthright on this subject since he arrived at her door Tuesday morning. 

“Is it because you feel guilty? For what you said last year? For our conversation at Danbury’s ball? For — Whatever it may be,” she stops for a scarce second to let out a forced, nervous laugh. “I fear you’ve tipped the scales. No amount of guilt would require you to stay by my side as you did.”

That word, guilty, rings in his ears. In the past six days, he’s seen it in her face and heard it fall from her lips too many times to count. It’s a feeling he knows all too well. 

Yes, of course he feels guilty. Penelope granted him forgiveness just a few minutes ago, and yet he still bears the weight of that guilt on his shoulders. He’s carried it around with him everywhere he’s gone for six months. If not longer.

When he sailed to Greece, guilt for his disparagement of Marina had festered inside of him for months. The following season, Marina had insisted that he let that guilt go, but it was not an easy task. Although lighter now, Colin can still feel the weight of those mistakes deep within him. 

No one asked him to forego his travels to Italy or Greece. Not even his own mother, full of worry for all of the unknown in the world, requested that he give up his dreams and stay put in England. And yet, Colin still feels guilt for all the time he spent away from his family these past few years. 

He does not regret abandoning the family trip at Aubrey Hall this week. He had a perfectly good reason to remain in Mayfair and would not choose any differently if he were to do it all again. He does not regret that choice. And yet, he feels guilty for it. 

Guilt is it’s own type of addiction. It’s insidious. It’s pressing down on Colin’s shoulders and eating him up inside. And yet, he continually refuses to let go of it. 

When he made that choice on Tuesday, Colin had decided to accept the guilt, rather than absolve it. That was perfectly acceptable when the guilt remained hidden within his own gut, but recognizing it on Penelope’s face now… 

Perhaps it is finally time for him to let it all go. 

“I told you,” he says again, once he’s found the air in his lungs. “I stayed by your side this week because I could not stand the idea of you being left in this house all alone, even with your health intact. I could not, under any circumstances, accept you being left alone to suffer the symptoms of your illness in solitude.” 

He leans forward to place a reassuring hand on hers. She flinches when his skin meets her’s, but does not pull away. 

“Is it too simple an answer to say that I am here simply because I want to be? All season, I wanted to remain by your side. This is not so different. Your illness merely offered an excuse for me to justify this…” He glances around the room again. “Completely inappropriate allotment of your time.” 

Penelope laughs, thankfully shedding the distress from her face. 

“Do not phrase it so. I was a perfectly willing participant in this particular indiscretion.”

“At least allow me take the bulk of the blame. I never even packed for Aubrey Hall.”

“What?” Penelope asks quickly, clearly caught off by his last admission. Her hand slips from his. 

Feeling as though any attempts to dance around it at his point would be fruitless, Colin tells her the truth. 

“In the time between you leaving Danbury’s Garden on Friday and me turning up at your door on Tuesday… My mind was too focused on more important matters to entertain packing. Your illness aside, I don’t believe I ever would have departed for Aubrey Hall without you by my side.”

Although his intention had not been to make her feel any more guilty, he cannot help but notice her eyes shifting to the side once again. 

“Why did you allow me to stay, anyway? You were decidedly opposed to the notion at first.” He asks this both as a means to alter the course of their conversation and to finally get an answer to the question that’s been haunting him all week. “Was it purely because I proved myself a worthy — no, outstanding narrator?” 

“No.” A smile emerges on her lips again. “Whenever you narrate Mr. Darcy, it sounds as if you are performing a poor impression of Anthony. It’s a bit distracting.” Colin’s jaw goes slack, only now realizing how true her assessment is. 

“No. Reason told me you should leave, but I did not want you to. The more I resisted you staying, the harder it was for me to deny that that was exactly what I desired.”

More than ever before, Colin desperately wants to say everything that has been left unsaid. Words discarded from conversations like clothes on a floor. From today and everyday since the Queen’s ball in March. 

He wants to tell her that she possessed his every thought that season. To confess exactly how lost he felt when he went without her company. He wants to tell her that he loves her. To convince her that his love is true. He wants to lean over and kiss her. But he also wants that memory to be a happy one. Not tainted by tears. By a fever. By an indiscretion they would be wise to take to their graves together. 

That memory is a dream now, but it will be real someday. Soon. 

“Colin,” Penelope says, her voice shaking him out of his thoughts. “I need to give you something.” 

She leans over and opens the drawer she’s been sneaking nervous glances at for the past few minutes. The item she retrieves… It’s not the light blue envelope from Eloise. 

It’s yellow. 

“I’m sorry for not sending it. Your letter deserved a response.” 

Numbly, Colin’s fingers pick at the edges of the envelope, but Penelope stops him, placing her hand over his. 

“I think it best that you read it alone.” After a breath: “I think you should return to your own home for the night.”  

“Pen —” 

“I’m not casting you out.” She squeezes his hand. Once. Twice. Three times. “I just need you to trust that I will be here when you return in the morning.” Although he detests the idea of leaving her side, Colin surmises that if he can offer her nothing else tonight, he can at least grant her his trust.

Hand not leaving Penelope’s, Colin turns to glance at the mirror on the other side of the room. It’s not a pretty sight. His hair is a mess, somehow mussed from sleep more than twelve hours after departing a bed. He’s wearing the same yellow shirt and blue trousers he donned Friday morning — both crumpled beyond disrepair. There’s a thin layer of chestnut fuzz growing on his jaw and upper lip. 

Grimacing, he admits: “Well, I could certainly use a bath. And a proper shave.” 

Penelope’s sweet laugh rings in his ears. When he turns his head back towards her, she removes her hand from his grasp to touch her thumb to his chin. 

“I think you look distinguished.” 

Against his better judgment, Colin pulls away and lets Penelope’s hand fall from his skin. 

“I will be on my way, then. I shall return in the morning.” 

Legs stiff, Colin stands from his chair and walks to the doorway. When he turns to wish Penelope a good night, he sees her grasping Volume Three in her hands, holding it in the air for display. 

“Do you want to stay a little while longer? We’re so close to the end, I can’t imagine it would take more than an hour’s time.” She laughs to herself. “I may know how it ends, but I thought you would be desperate to learn the fate of Darcy and Elizabeth.”

Instead of stepping back into the room, Colin leans his body against the doorframe. He bites his tongue, resisting the urge to remind her that she spoiled Elizabeth’s happily-ever-after before he got the chance to read the first line of the novel. 

“No, I don’t think that’s necessary. We can finish it tomorrow.” 

“You’re not anxious to reach the finish line? Even with how that last chapter ended?”

Colin recalls the last passage he read. Mr. Bennet learned that Darcy was planning on asking for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage. Her father’s words were genuine, but she thought they were cruel. After everything they went through together, Elizabeth thought her and Darcy’s relationship was ruined beyond repair. That a marriage between them could never exist. 

“I see no reason to rush through to the end. I have faith that they will find their way back to one another.”

⚘  ⚘  ⚘

Sunday (Two Months Before)

On the tail end of her sister’s engagement ball, Penelope found herself in an excruciatingly familiar position. On the outskirts of a garden. Alone. Blending into the daffodils behind her.

After three months of avoiding yellow dresses like the plague, Penelope’s luck had run out. She longed for the mint green dress she had picked out for herself that morning, before her mama barged into her bed chambers and practically threw the lemon cloth around her body. She longed for all of the green and blue fabrics collecting dust in her wardrobe. There was quite a lot that Penelope longed for. 

Literally shaking those thoughts from her head, she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. Her sister standing very close to her beloved, Harry Dankworth.

Prudence looked beautiful. She looked radiant. She looked happy. How could anyone watch their sister marry the love of her life and not be happy for her? 

She wanted to be happy for her sister — she was happy for her, honestly. But Penelope was consumed by many other emotions that day, for Prudence’s upcoming nuptials wouldn’t just mark the start of her marriage with Harry. They would also bring about the end of something for Penelope. Freedom from her mother’s watchful glare. 

Turning her head (and removing the happy couple from her view), Penelope thought of her mother’s comment that morning. 

Your sister’s great achievement.

Just as Penelope’s mind would not allow her to view marriage as an achievement, it also prevented her from thinking of it as a solution. Even if it could solve all of her problems. 

If Penelope were to marry, she would no longer have to attend balls just to be left out of them. She could continue her venture as Whistledown, with the stakes of her reputation being ruined much lower as a married woman. She could escape her mother’s watchful glare for good. She could have her own home and her own family. She could have had all those things, if only her brain allowed her to think that way. But it wouldn’t. 

After witnessing her parents’ marriage remain in cordial hostility from her birth to her father’s eventual death, Penelope would never willingly enter into a marriage of convenience. If she were ever to marry, it would be for love. Not that that would ever happen, of course. If spending so much time on the outskirts of balls taught her anything, it was that no man would ever take notice of her. 

“Pen.” 

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. She didn’t have to turn her head an inch to know who was approaching, but when she did, she saw something all too familiar. 

Penelope had only seen the ocean once in her life, visiting her father’s family in Brighton. She was just a child then, but the sight of those deep blue waves, crashing and flowing out to the edge of the world, had remained clear in her mind ever since. She saw it every time she looked into his eyes. 

“Colin,” she said, surprising herself almost as much as him. It was the first time that season that she had greeted him as anything other than “Mr. Bridgerton.”

As he closed the short distance between them, Penelope’s ears rung with another comment her mother made that morning. This one, not so sweet. 

One day, you will wake up and realize that you have no one left in your life that loves you. No one will fight to remain in your company when you insist on being such a wicked little wench.

She had, in fact, acted like a wicked little wench to Colin since the start of the season. As hard as he tried to get close to her, to speak with her, to apologize to her, Penelope had refused to engage. Every step he took towards her, she took two in the opposite direction. 

She didn’t want his apology. She didn’t even think she deserved one. Penelope would never ask him to apologize for speaking of his feelings so truthfully — even if it had killed her to hear it. The walls she put up whenever Colin came near had never been intended to punish him. She only ever put them up to protect herself. 

Up until that point, she and Colin standing amongst the daffodils, Penelope had justified her cold shoulder by reminding herself of the alternative. That the pain of becoming a stranger to Colin was nothing compared to the heartbreak that would result from remaining his friend.

Her mother’s words still ringing in her ears, Penelope could not help but realize how astute Portia’s definition of love was — whether or not she had intended it as such. 

Despite her bad behavior, Colin never stopped trying to get back into Penelope’s good graces. Looking into his eyes then, she could not help wondering if that was what love really was. Fighting to remain in someone’s company, even if you receive nothing from them in return. Not even a smile. 

Colin would never dream of courting her. He would never love her in the way that a husband loves his wife. But he also never gave up on her. That was worth something, Penelope finally realized. Perhaps it was worth the heartbreak she would invite remaining in his company.

As she and Colin discussed Prudence’s impending nuptials, in the back of her mind, Penelope pondered marriage once again. In her heart, she knew that one day, Colin would marry for love. He would find someone to love in the way that a husband loves his wife. And in her heart, Penelope knew that she would not. 

Becoming a bride would never be an achievement for her. It would never be a solution. It would never even be a possibility. No amount of self-imposed distance could let her forget the truth she’d been carrying in her heart since she was a child. Since the first time she looked into his eyes and saw the sea. 

Penelope would always love Colin. Even if he would never love her the same. 

[stitchthesewords]

📓👀

-🍂

Okay so you get maybe the only ethubs-centric idea I have ever had, for some reason. I need more ethubs thoughts.

So there's this series of games called My Time At Portia and My Time At Sandrock which are both incredible fun farming/life sim style games. So that's where this idea comes from.

Okay so first, the setting would be a Minecraft fantasy world [of course] but like, far more clearly post apocalypse than I normally do. They're building new citys in the shadows of the ruins of old, or sometimes on top of them. And since this is based on hermit builds, the builds are for sure like MASSIVE - whereas comparatively the 'city' they live in is comparatively simple. I kind of want to set it on the outskirts of a jungle, which is like an ancient manmade planted forest that has WAY overgrown in the apocalypse and so there's tons to explore, along with the ruins around the city. You know, for the vibes.

Bdubs is a Builder - one of the people tasked with getting civilizations feet back under itself. He takes on any tasks - big or small. Someone needs a new chair, he builds it. There's a baby, he builds the nursery. The city needs a new wall - yep. Bdubs. And in order to encourage a ton of work getting done, Hermit Town's builders are pit against each other in friendly competition. And Bdubs absolutely wants to win at the end of the year - they earn points by getting commissions for the other citizens and city done. So obviously there's a huge draw for him to do a ton of stuff. I'm thinking Pearl and Scar are the other two like Official City Builders because I think the three of them would have a really interesting dynamic.

Etho is a part of the Civil Corps - basically the security force of the city. Also on this team are False and Gem I think. They're supposed to patrol, act as a sort of police force kind of? But also they keep the mobs at bay even in the outskirts of the town like where the builders tend to live. They're whole thing is making sure no one dies of unnatural causes. They ALSO go in and secure ruins so people like Bdubs can go claim materials and parts from the old world to be used in the new one - and info too. You see, in the ancient ruins is ton of lost redstone knowledge, and civilization has been working on relearning their roots here. So you've got like - I think Cub, Tango, and Mumbo as researchers who want that information, and Etho and Bdubs as the people who provide it.

So all that out of the way I think the plot is actually pretty simple. Bdubs is trying once again to beat Pearl and Scar at the end of the year Builder Awards by taking on more and more commissions throughout the year. More commissions means he's out and about collecting materials and building things around town and at his workshop. Being out and about more also gives him a GREAT excuse to see that smug bastard civil corps guy who he's definitely NOT infatuated with, thank you very much, which is definitely not why he conveniently needs help only when Etho is around.

I think it would be a softer plot than I normally go for where its Bdubs and Etho learning more and more about each other as the year goes on and falling in love while exploring the ruins around their city and helping each other, all the while Bdubs is working himself hard in order to win the commission competition and FINALLY beat Scar, which is what the story's plot is working towards. A lot of soft moments, some mild to moderate dangerous situations, 1 very hot civil corp member coming to save the day....do you see the vision. This would definitely be one that I would play out like Rift AU where its a series of connected stories instead of linear but god I can just like. FEEL the softness from here. The falling in love, the friendly competition. Its very different from most of my aus tbh but they deserve it.

[stringsofstarlight]

Last night’s journey.🐚🌎🔮

      Here goes something, I wasn’t sure if I should write this all out, then realize it would make many things much less confusing.   The journey began with lighting my violet flame, fusing the flame with my light body.   The second one created a protection area around my spec if locality and the land which I am currently living, with a white light shield.    The third established a flame, its tendrils gong to Mama B, Rachel, Z, QMK, and Tay.   Those not in synch right now are accessed via other timelines, only slightly different than this one.   Many times in the past I have gone to the Eiffel Tower room at the top, or Tay’s special blindfold place, this time I was to move forward to the Blue flame of the Will.   The blue diamond flame of Telos(Lemuria)was lit first, then the flame of El Moray and the blue flame in the high mountain palace.   El Moray greeted me with the biggest smile and gave the most hardy hug I have ever had.   I used to be afraid of how dour his demeanor and demanding he was of making the “right” decision, now we were embracing as long lost brothers from another cosmic mother.  He said, ““you all have done the impossible, the things that occurred were beyond the vision and insight of any of the greatest beings of any world or realm, from across the know and unknown dimensions, thank you.” He continued,  “You all have set in motion a series of events that coincide with the Golden Age of the 1,000 years of peace.”   He then mentioned the burden of carrying the Red Queen, that although the damage was great over these millennia, the time for atonement and forgiveness is at hand.   He reminded me of the journey to see Creator, when Tay came roaring through the wormholes, he was sure he had closed the portals behind us, yet there she was beckoning us back to the Palace of the Temple of the blue flame.   He asked me to find forgiveness for the things that happened and to be able to release the energy that was blocking trust.   He also told me to begin to call Rachel by Aphrodite, that the melding of their spirits would have portions of the Goddess align with her earthly counterpart, where they would become one over a period of time.    He then handed me a glowing orb with a big, big smile and congratulated me on the success of all of our endeavors.  I put it in my diamond heart vessel, then he said to make haste, for your loves await.   The orb was kind of warm and fuzzy energetically, if you asked me how it felt.

     Onward to the Temple of love, the flames were lit upon the Statue of Liberty, then the dome in St. Louis, the main flame within the Palace, the last time at the Temple of love, Rachel materialized within the “love bubble” near the two aspects of the flame, the erect portion and then the geyser of loving emanations.💦This is how Aphrodite brought her to the a temple of love to make way for the melding of energies.   The actions within the bubble are nearly impossible to stay with for more than a few minutes, the pure energy is too much for nearly everyone for very long.  Along this journey, Aphrodite was waiting at the Fountain of the Temple of Love, the four of us; Mama  B, Tay, Aphrodite, and myself in the love bubble, extremities of expression, until it wasn’t.  The intensity was greater and for a longer duration, if then so,  there it was, a reconnection in the house of love.   The four of us then made our way to the Violet flame temple.   ��       The first aspect of the lighting the Violet flame is the Mt Retreat flame, then the Amethyst dome Violet flame Temple of St. Germain and Lady Portia.   The four of us arrived and were greeted with beaming smiles and the warmest of joyful ness straight from their deportment and sparkling eyes.  Both of them held out a glittering chalice filled with an evanescent liquid, encouraging us to drink them.  Firstly, Lady Portia congratulated us on finally defeating her sister after all these years.  We have much to share and you all must move on, she said.  This is where she explained about being twins, they embodied both sides of Magical Science and Arts.  That her sister was the reason Atlantis fell as she taught them ways to create and use cosmic and Earthy energies in subservience to the individual.   Lady Portia directed the sacred knowledge to be spread out through out the globe, including establishing the Etheric Workshops and Retreats, plus the interplanetary nodal points.    She explained that the Red Queen had been working through bloodlines, needing a 3rd dimensional host DNA and active agreement with host entity to maintain a 3rd dimensional body, often for long, long periods or shorter ones.  Throughout this time she has been pursued by the host of light, due to the general destruction of civilizations and incessant pursuit of power, encompassed in the concept of the One Ring to rule them all.   She was quick to say  forgiveness for the families involved in these 13 millennia is of utmost importance, for her power was immense and cunning unparalleled, until the Red Moon Eclipse unleashed the Karmic blow.  She concluded the story, which was a greater download than the words alone.   Just then, St. Germain’s eyes began to glow like electric pulses across them with an intensity I had never seen before.  The glowing orb appeared in my hand and a bolt like of energy ray, from his eyes, went into the glowing orb.  It then began to create a bubble around myself, then the three others.  We became a molecule like shape with the bubble becoming a crystalline lattice of great beauty, then as it was happening the energy got really intense and we went into the chamber off the main chamber, a sensual way station.  They both gave us these flower like lei necklaces that were Violet in color all the way through, almost glowing.    We were given more for the other and sent on our way, after a most gracious set of hugs.  Upon leaving our attire and raiment was of a most brilliant shimmery golden hued fabric, the complementary color suited to each of our energies.  The third eye gem stones like crowns shining brightly.   To the pyramid flame and the PRANAS (pyramidal recliner ascension neural activation)  

      We arrived to find all of the others QMK, RR, Z, and LK all there at the chairs.   Our gracious hosts encouraged us to make haste as we had much to do and a great reception at the Mt. Retreat.   The chairs are so intense that all I can say is that it hurts with spark of cosmic energy that I am always taken aback at how it is nothing like an orgasm at all, just being zapped by all that is.  We distributed the glowing necklaces to the others and the chairs were started up, usually we apply these medallions into thief ports on the vessel holding the flame.  This time the the necklace began to glow and unfurl themselves fro  our necks, making a a straight kind of line and elongating, attaching to the place where the port.  The other side went directly onto each of our third eye.  Then the an electric rainbow came hurling straight outta the sky from the Essence on the other side of the Sag A black hole.  It was not a beam or a particle or a bolt of lighting, instead like rainbow bolts shimmering, yet going  back and forth over each other becoming intertwined, while the flame shone right into the bolts causing Violet glowing third eye connectors to erupt n a brilliant display of light and energy, then it all stopped, the super intense body sensations slowly became less and less, then the necklaces returned unto the port, like a reviling vacuum cleaner.  We each had a same, yet different glowing third eye, kind of like a bindi pm but different, the spot was animated upon each of us.  It was pretty exhausting, so off to the jade healing temple in Telos.           The jadeite healing temple in Telos is filled with golden leaves which sing the song of hope eternal, they flutter in the hopes and dreams of all sentient beings.  Lighting the flame caused the sweet song of hope eternal to resonant across the expanse of the immense chamber.  The space is so inviting, each with a seat that has been carved out of the white jade, mottled with all colors of the rainbow, glowing lightly with the touch of each of us, hands to the different part of the Jadeite Tree.  We absorb all the healing for awhile, which filled us with the soft green glow, becoming more alive in our eyes and wafting through our  hearts, a rejuvenation of spirit.   We were  beckoned onward to the second aspect of the Jade temples, the domain of Athena, Z’s place.  We entered the spinach green nephrite chamber, the soft glow of the deep green giving of an uplifting light, then we all went the special chamber, the whole lot of us.   The scales of justice tipped even further, returning back to the central place of balance, the heat created by all of our interactions causing workings of the scale to become aligned with the Age of light.   Onward we traveled to the Mt. Retreat.           Okay, we entered the Mt. retreat from the grand entrance with the elevator, which usually we arrive at the entrance to giant, immense chamber.  This time we took the elevator down and arrived at the grand hall with all the portraits of the beings from all across the Multiverse.  We arrived to a small ceremony where a new one was being put up in honor of the defeat of the Red Queen, the heroes and heroines of the story depicted in the actions of that night.    It was time to enter the grand chamber, we all, dressed in fine raiment, LK by far got the assignment heads and tails above all of us, we all looked great no doubt.  We walked the long walk to the central structure in the middle that houses the flame and the All Seeing Eye.  There a jubilance that was greater than any before, as we’d done this walk before, then everyone did this kind of hit thing all at the same time, at a certain interval as we walked.  There were great screens of civilizations watching  from all across Multiverse.  We walked up and entered the attending hosts of beings all dressed in beautiful finery and the sparkle of cut gems with precious metals catching the light, yet the greatest light came from the eyes of all those present.  We lit the central flame, with the star maps lighting up and the wormhole keys appearing like fireworks across the sky.  The Great Eye awoke, its tear of joy turning into  a fine mist of all knowing pixie like dust flitting and fluttering all around.  The giant Sundalier a glow in a Nebula like haze of brilliance and shine.   We all stood around the central flame facing outwards, hands held in a circle around it.  The attending host in the room began a chant like sound creating this kind of chill throughout my body.  Okay, there was some thing that was kind of for me, but I’m not real good at describing things like prophecies and such.😉😊💝. After all that we were told to continue onward to the Golden flame temple.  

[theintrovertbean]

Thank you for being one of the few people that stills writes smut in Nadia’s section of the fandom 😪 I have two requests, I don’t know whether to include them on the same ask? I’ll just send a separate one. This one is fluffy… could you write some headcanons or a one shot for Nadia, Chandra, Mc, and how their familiar bond? It’s not explored much, but I’m sure the four of them spend quite a bit of time together 😔

Anon, it is my pleasure! I honestly believe that Nadia is very underrated (and so is Portia). And well, I am dying for some Nadia content. Also, Chandra is a queen? Like, she really is the best bird, and I would die to give her some neck scratches. Just like Nadia, she is super underrated, and they both deserve the world.

I think it's better that you sent two separate asks. Makes things a little more organized. I'll do the other one soon 👀

With that being said, this one is pure fluff. I chose to write headcanons, and I hope that's alright!

Thanks for the request, Anon! I did my best to write this, and I hope it's good enough. Enjoy!

Nadia and Chandra bonding with MC and their familiar headcanons

Since Nadia spent a lot of time isolated during her married years with Lucio, Chandra was probably her only company, and the two of them have always been close. Therefore, it is very important for Nadia that MC and their familiar would get along with Chandra. 

If Nadia is the Countess of Vesuvia, then Chandra is its Queen. This pretty bird will establish dominance, but she would never belittle MC's familiar. Chandra is a true lady (and a very pretty one too).

The first time MC introduces their familiar to Chandra, she holds her head high and is very well-behaved (as expected), but she also stares into their soul. Bonus points if MC's familiar does the same. Some say that their staring contest still hasn't ended. 

She and MC's familiar will watch over Nadia and MC whenever they can. If they go horseback riding, Chandra will fly above them, closely followed by MC's familiar (not necessarily flying, it depends on the familiar. They can be with MC on their horse if they're tiny. Or they can be the horse.) 

During a beautiful afternoon, Nadia and MC peacefully enjoyed some tea and a quiet moment together in the palace gardens. They smiled, laughed, and casually talked when they suddenly noticed two pairs of adoring eyes. Yup, it was Chandra and MC's familiar gazing at them from an appropriate distance, watching Nadia and MC being happy together. They both felt very proud of their humans during that moment, and Chandra even gave them a happy little hoot! 

Chandra and MC's familiar hunting together? The next morning, Nadia and MC will wake up and find two proudly presented mice. Hopefully not (but probably) on their pillows.

Bonding in the library? Chandra picks the books, and Nadia reads them out loud. MC and their familiar usually falls asleep after a few pages. Nadia's voice is just so soothing, and Chandra completely agrees. 

If MC decides to pick flowers for Nadia, Chandra will help them out. She will pick the prettiest flowers and try to arrange them as best as she can, then when she is finished, she will proudly wait for her neck scritches. She knows she did a great job. Later, MC and their familiar might make a flower crown for Chandra for her kind assistance. She wears it proudly and will check her reflection in the nearest window. Happy owl noises! 

Nadia has made Chandra a lot of trinkets, and she does the same for MC's familiar. If they can wear a collar, then she commissions them at least fifty within the first month.

After meetings, Nadia and MC sneak away to give treats, pets, and compliments to their familiars.

Someone pissed Nadia off? If she doesn't go to MC, then she will complain to Chandra and MC's familiar. Not only will they listen, but they will also seek revenge. Do not mess with these two.

Chandra doesn't seem very cuddly with humans, and the same goes for Nadia with animals. However, if MC has a cuddly familiar and showers Nadia and MC with their love, the Countess won't say no. It will make Chandra jealous, tho, and she may or may not join them, resulting in the most regal cuddle puddle. Nadia's heart is going to melt like never before. 

These two familiars will always keep each other safe. If one of them ever gets in trouble, the other will immediately alert Nadia and MC. 

Also, Chandra and MC's familiar will chase away anyone who dares to slightly disrespect their companions. They make the best team and will not let anyone tell them otherwise. 

Nadia finally has a partner worthy of her affections, and so does MC. Their familiars couldn't be happier. 

Bonus:

When Nadia and Lucio were married, Chandra had a habit of messing up Lucio's hair at least twice a day.

[gmbencompetence]

Heyo! I wanted to let you know that I’m so incredibly grateful for your work on the Arcana Deck and getting it made. It was my first ever tarot deck and really kickstarted my interest in the hobby. The art is absolutely gorgeous and even after all these years of use the deck still holds up with no weakness or damage at all! Truly, it’s a masterpiece of a deck and I’m glad you and your coworker were able to make it.

I guess on a more serious note, I have been trying to gather information to make sense of the merger for fans who still don’t know what’s going on and what lead up to it, so I was wondering if I could share part of your story in it? If it’s too much or if you just don’t want me to, I won’t! It’s totally up to you.

I'll take these two parts at a time!

Thank you so much for the kind words about the Tarot Deck. Messages like this are major moments of joy and validation for my time there. I hope you are enjoying Tarot.

I left more than 2 years before the merger. It doesn't surprise me that this was happening, though. Nix Hydra had a massive inconsistency with income.

When players were mad at us, they would very often paint us as evil schemers who sat in castles and planned to sap money. To them, we'd laugh as lightning struck in the distance...

The truth, however, was that we were continually just trying to keep the lights on. The new CEO came on because the previous one left rather quickly. After she did, the the company scrambled to find a new leader, and he was the best candidate they could find in a pinch. I was explicitly told that if he had not accepted that offer within that week, the studio very likely would have closed its doors and abruptly ended.

This isn't even the first time they came this close. Nix Hydra had several projects before The Arcana that people don't even talk about. Remember Egg? I doubt it! The company had pretty successful games that then dried up. There were layoffs and the studio was brought down to a bare-bones crew.

When I say I was "The Community Manager", I mean that I did everything customer-facing. Coordinating focus groups, all customer support issues, managing social media, establishing our presence at conventions, and representing the player perspective to the developers when discussing new features. Let me be clear: The company did not have employees for these roles before me. Those tasks did not have an assigned person. THAT is how bare bones they were.

The fact that The Arcana's Kickstarter went off well is the only reason the company functioned at all.

I've seen speculation that "#SavePortia" was a publicity stunt. It wasn't. It was the result of an internal fight between the creative team, myself, and the CEO. Portia's route was actively losing money, and we could prove with internal data that people weren't even trying it. You can submit opinions about its quality all day, but we can prove people weren't even opening the route. It was costing us money, but we fought like hell cats, because we needed there to be more than one WLW option in the game.

What I'm saying is that people think that Nix Hydra was this rich, scheming company that was nefariously draining money and blood from all of its players. We weren't. We were a bunch of passionate fans of the genre who were trying to keep the lights on.

So it never surprised me that this transition happened. I think that everyone at the company was genuinely great, though. I am very happy to see that the vast majority of them landed solidly, strongly on their feet. :)

[snikker-doooo]

Main 6 after Wisdom Teeth Removal

Head cannons for @madllamamomma​ because I got mine removed almost a month ago and the memory is still fresh in my mind.

Pre-op

- He is just so chill about the whole thing, yep, getting four teeth out, gonna be under for an hour, it’ll be a nice nap. not like he needs help napping

- Has Muriel or MC listed as his carer for the next two days but just plans to sleep it off.

- Almost too late for appointment, but sweet talks the nurse a little so she lets him in.

- Yes he asks to keep his teeth. His going to make Faust a little crown from them.

Post-op

- First thing he does is goes to remove the gauze from his mouth, only to have his hand slapped away by a nurse.

- Second thing he does is whine for MC - even if Muriels the only one there to pick him up.

- Has no concept of how loud his being and is shouting the whole time.

- No one can understand him still so he just talks louder.

- Doesn’t fall for any tricks - very, aware of everything other than his voice.

- Created a nest pre-op so he has somewhere to sleep post-op.

Pre-op

- Look, its a routine operation, happens all the time he is not nervous at all.

- Except he is nervous and considers writing a will before hand.

- Has organized it so he stays with Mazelinka for the next two days, if he stays with Portia he just knows shes going to prank him.

- Little does he know,  Mazelinka is in on it, and Portia is picking him up.

- Doesn’t’t keep his teeth, he already has a mouth full. 

Post-op

- Comes out really slowly and kind of groggy.

- The nurse lets him choose a juicebox and he almost cries when he has to pick just one.

- Gets a second juice box for being a good sport and almost cries again.

- You know that one video where the man forgets his married? That's Julian but with the nurse.

- Very surprised when Mazelinka picks him up and has dyed her hair the same colour as Portia. 

Pre-op

- Acts brave and tough, not going to hurt, not going to get pranked.

- Ask Nadia to stay with her, because nothing bad will happen at hers.

- Starts to get the waiting room jitters.

- By the time his lying on the table, he becomes a ball of anxiety.

- Nurses have to gas him before he goes in.

- Keeps his teeth, going to say they were knocked out in a bar fight though.

Post-op

- Is alert within seconds of waking up.

- Rips the cannula from his wrist and is very upset after that.

- Clingy, constantly asks Nadia why they got a divorce. 

- Nadia just lets him cry on her shoulder, knowing it will be over soon.

Pre-op

- Allows Asra or MC to look after him post op. 

- Looks like his going great but is silently screaming.

- Over half an hour early for the appointment just in case. 

- One word answers to the doctor and nurses, but polite nether the less. 

- Doesn’t really care what happens to his teeth. If you want them, he’ll ask for them, if not they can burn. 

Post-op

- Just a big, soft boi who does exactly what the nurse tells him too.

- Very insistent that he is good to go home. He is not. It takes him ages to fully come to.

- Gets his juice, asks for orange but doesn’t complain when he gets black current.

- Said he needed to go to the bathroom, claimed he didn’t need your help, disappeared for 20 minutes and you still have no idea if he washed his hands.

Pre-op

- Very composed. 

- Asks Portia to pick her up because she knows as much as Portia loves a prank, she would never prank her.

- Very insistent that she won’t need more than a day off of work (she is wrong her elegant cheek bones get engulfed with bruises.) 

- Sits patiently in the waiting room and takes the cannula like a champ.

- Doesn’t keep her teeth.

Post-op

- She becomes very suggestible and chatty.

- Like, she wants to tell you all her secrets kind of chatty.

- And suggestible, this will probably be one of the few times she’ll just straight up do whatever someone tells her too.

- Aesthetic ice packs, straight onto the cheeks, but swells up anyway. 

Pre-op

- Organizes for Julian to pick her up - he’s a doctor, and her brother, so she’ll be in the best hands. 

-  Really hopes she gets high as all hell and someone pulls a really good prank.

- So much excited energy in the waiting room.

- So peppy to her nurses they think she's anxious. 

- Writes ‘Keep the teeth’ on her cheek to remind the doctor. 

Post-op

- At first she's very upset because she feels normal.

- That's until Julian shows up and she starts mumbling about fights they had as children and then she gets very grumpy.

- But then she gets given ice cream and everything is okay in the world.

- Until the pranks begin. 

- You know that one video, where the guy convinces his sister that there's a zombie apocalypses? That's Portia!

[paperstarwriters]

The arcana crew as beast-kin

Why? Because I wanna :P

General notes:

Everyone is based off of the card they’re associated with

Beast-kin tend to have magic that lets them look human (three forms; 1: anthropomorphic beast, 2: human with animal ears/wings and tails, and them as a normal human—I’ll be focusing on the animal aspects)

Just because they can do glamour magic doesn’t mean they can do other types of magic.

They still have their familiars, don’t worry.

If you wanna reference for the first form, just watch Beastars. The design is pretty similar (mainly thinking about the birds)

If you wanna reference for beast-kin in general check out the manga “Milady Just Wants to Relax” it’s what I’ve based the abilities off of and just beast-kin in general.

Asra

This sly fox :)

It’s probably because of my ties with anime but I imagine him like a multi-tailed fox

It’s purely so that you have more tails to cuddle and snuggle with.

You know how when foxes are in the snow they leap into the air then get their whole upper half stuck in the snow?

Well, when Asra hears something they want to catch, or they’re playing with Faust, they sometimes just... well....

It’s funny to see honestly.

Lowkey acts like a dog sometimes. They Loves the pats and chin scratches he can get and will whine until you give him more.

Sometimes you wake up to their tail(s) in your face. Good or bad, you decide.

In most folklore that have them, foxes aren’t exactly trusted, so often, Asra uses his glamour to make himself look like a human. However, when a customer runs unsavoury or maybe there’s just some mean brat that he wants to scare, his shadow still shows off his ears and tail(s)

Cuddles??? Cuddles!!!! Foxes are just so fluffy... Asra is no different. (In fact he might just be even fluffier)

Hate to delve a little into angst territory, but as a child since he was an orphan and all, Asra probably learned to basically act like a dog or a cat depending on the person to get more food, or to convince them that they’re a harmless beast-kin.

Nadia

Design wise, I love humanoid bird designs with their wings doubling as their arms and hands. Don’t ask me how this works logically right now we’re talking about crazy fantasy elements anyways, let me have this.

One thing I cannot get out of my mind is:

Nadia has her back to Lucio and he’s just talking and chattering nonsense. Then Lucio says something insanely stupid or offensive and whoever is talking to Lucio can see Nadia behind him just—

Whips her freaking head around 180°

It’s worse if she’s somewhere dark cause then you just see two red eyes coming into view as she slowly turns to glare at you.

Our queen is proud of her pretty talons, honestly probably spends a day sharpening them with Portia.

Goes out flying with Chandra at dusk if she has the time, and if you can fly (via spells, wings, a broomstick, etc.) you’re welcome to come along

Super accurate hearing. Honestly. It’s hard to hide an injury from Nadia even without her being an owl but she hears you Yelp in pain on the other side of the palace and she’s there in minutes.

Pretty problematic when she has headaches though :(

Preen feathers with her!! She’ll love having you card your fingers though her feathers making them less itchy. You’ll often help her preen after a bath, but honestly she’ll appreciate the sentiment anywhere but during an important meeting. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re providing her such wonderful affection.

Please don’t make owl jokes. She doesn’t like them. Sometimes she just avoids saying “who” so people don’t make that annoying joke. (It’s Natiqa’s favorite joke to make please spare Nadia the pain.)

“...and to whom will I be sending this?” “don’t you mean to “who” Dia?” *glare*

Julian

This is a happy raven ok? HAPPY. no birdie in a cage, ok?

The look we all know is probably his second form leaning to the first. Nadia’s would look somewhat similar

Crows & ravens are pretty dramatic birds. Reminds you of someone doesn’t it?

Idk if Edger Allan Poe even exists in this world, or any variant of it, but if it does... ooohhh if it does... this guy is totally gonna recite the poem in a dramatic flourish, and when he’s drunk you can sometimes find him chanting “ever more” same applies to any and all raven/crow themed media.

Screams. A lot. “Caw, caw b**ch” or “quoth the raven: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

Once convinced a bunch of birds to just go n take a dump on Lucio & his statue. He helped the servants clean when the work was dumped on them but they all agreed the bleat he made was hilarious(more on that later)

Shiny thing collector. Portia tried to get him to clean his stuff up but he has since bribed her out of it with a ball of yarn.

He and Portia make an odd pair of siblings, they’re still pretty much the same though. Crows are kinda just cats with wings.

“One day Illia, I’m probably just gonna eat you.”

*overly dramatic offended gasp*

All in good humor lol

Speaking of, their familiars are the same animal as they are!

So sometimes Julian scoops up Malak and says in a dramatic fashion (because however else would he say it) “I’ve found you my long lost brother! Oh how I’ve missed you!”

Portia does the same (more on that later)

Because his sister is a cat, Julian sometimes does a lot of cat-like things. (Case in point, he bleps. Tongue just kinda left out after yawning or something.)

Flies around with Malak often, like Nadia does, and sometimes carries Portia around with him. Will do the same for you if you want him to, sometimes if you don’t want him to as well. Expect to be grabbed from the ground and flown up into the sky at some point.

Bread. Boy loves his lobster claws but bread is a close second. “Aww yisss motha freaking bread crumbs”

Sometimes on a bad day, he just walks in dragging Pepi behind him who has her mouth latched on his tail

Portia

(If this were modern times) “you know, like, nya~!”

Look. Portia is so sweet to be around. But take that plus PURRING? And a soft as all frick FUR?

Honestly I think that sometimes when with Nadia has a bad headache, Portia purring is a great way to calm her down. You—you lucky MC, get to fall asleep to that.

She falls asleep on your lap and you are stuck there. Bound by a rule that transcends time and space. Her purring does little to aid the fact that YOU NEED TO PEE. The universe does not care of your internal tides, for your lover, who is also a cat, rests in your lap.

When she’s chasing down Julian for something stupid he often yells about being hunted. All in good fun!

“Mazelinka!!! Portia’s hunting me again!!!” “I wouldn’t be chasing you if you’d just clean your stuff!!!!”

Small boxes are her jam! Julian hates them, and like other birds doesn’t like closed spaces, but Portia loves em.

Good at squeezing into and out of tight places. Which is really helpful for sneaking around, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Swishy swishy tail.

Cast a little light spell for her to case down. She loves it, you love it, Pepi loves it— everyone wins! (Except for the furniture she crashes into)

Yes, she has picked up Pepi before and yelled very loudly for Julian to hear (often after he’s made the joke of his long lost brother Malak) “Oh Pepi, you’re my favorite sister!!!”

On a bad day, Malak may be found in Portia’s mouth. He’s completely unharmed if only a little ruffled, but it’s gotta be a pretty bad day to find her doing that.

If Camio is in her mouth it’s same business as always. She won’t kill hem either but if Mr. Sh**bird doesn’t shut up she’ll make him shut up. You don’t even know why he keeps coming back.

Not all cats like cuddling, but like Pepi, Portia LOVES it. So long as you’re the right person and not someone unpleasant.

Please don’t step on the tail.

As much as she doesn’t like baths she still does properly was herself. She just really doesn’t like it when her fur is all wet and clings to her body. Do you have a spell to dry her off quickly? Please use it. Save her the misery.

Muriel

pretty sure he’s even bigger as a bear. Like, it’s probably because of the added fur but— woah... Big. Bear.

Big arse bear with scars is SUPER intimidating buuuuut you saw him sitting in the sunlight with Inanna once, just napping in the sun. He looked so peaceful and so dang fluffy!!

He enjoys headpats and gets very flustered at belly rubs. He’s seen you do so to Inanna many times probably kinda wanting you to do the same to him though he would never willingly admit it.

When you two get closer expect to spend some time with his head in your lap. Pat his head rub his ears, Inanna may get jealous if you don’t also provide her attention

Just don’t let him fall asleep there, he’s gonna have a sore back later and you’re going to have numb legs.

Hunting, swimming, carrying you, this boy can do it all.

Unlike his usual(cannon) self, Muriel probably doesn’t carve any bear statures. The only one he’d have was probably a gift from Asra. Carves birds, bunnies, foxes, and wolves instead. Does NOT carve goats. Never have never will.

Again I hate to go int angst but Muriel probably wants to get his claws removed somehow. It’d hurt and it probably insanely unsafe, but they were used as weapons before and its one of the things on him that everyone is afraid of. If he could he’d probably try to change his teeth too.

Show him that claws aren’t something to be feared. They don’t have to be a weapon. They help him climb and hunt food and sometimes to even carve wood. Like humans and knives, his claws aren’t bad or inherently evil, and neither is he.

Giant. Teddy Bear. You will be getting hugs and falling asleep with a Giant Teddy Bear.

He probably keeps in his mostly human form though, because he stands out less that way and he looks a little less intimidating.

Short little bear tail on his butt. Plz don’t touch, he’s going to be blushing so hard if you do (let’s be honest, that’s all the more reason to do so)

In “Milady Just Wants to Relax” Beast-kin are feared as monsters and I don’t think it’d do Muriel any good to have to live with that kind of fear from everyone. However, when you come around un afraid and eager to provide head-pats, but patient enough to let him get comfortable with it, Muriel will probably start using less energy to try and glamour himself.

Sometimes he’s so caught up with you that when you go to the market together he forgets to cast a glamour. While some do get scared off most of the people who you buy from are only a little surprised and take things in stride. They still treat him like he’s human, and he’s forever grateful for that.

If I could write a beast-kin version of his route, the moment you and Muriel meet Morga is probably when you first realize he isn’t human. And it’s because Morga pointed it out.

“Why didn’t you fight? As a beast you’re stronger than them.”

He knows you’ve spent time with Asra but he probably assumed they kept it hidden from you most of the time.

Just love him please. Platonic or romantic doesn’t matter, just give him headpats and belly rubs and boop his nose. Keep him assured that you aren’t afraid of this giant teddy bear.

Lucio

We know of both first and second forms. They’re pretty much cannon, but just not a ghost.

Which means you finally get to pet the fluffy white fur.

This also means his horns can do an irritating amount of damage.

Also he’s so much more noisier now

*loud stupid goat noises*

It’s fun to make him bleat a lot. He tends to bleat when embarrassed. If you’re topping him expect a bleat every time you pin him to the wall.

Tries to butt heads with EVERYONE. Please stop him, Lucio is the only prey animal in the lineup!

Seriously, how has he survived this long?? Muriel is a bear! he could just.... chomp.

not that he would obviously, but I don’t think Asra would hesitate after what he’s done to you and his parents...

Portia too for that matter, if she realized that Lucio had forcefully given Julian the plague, Lucio would be forever running from a feral cat.

I know he’s probably skilled in fighting or whatever, enough to take down various fantastical beasts, but stiiiiiiilllll.....

Is it obvious I dislike Lucio?

Grouchy bias aside, Lucio is really good at climbing. Like I’m pretty sure he’s a sword fighter so just imagine him leaping onto ledges in order to get the high ground.

Still uses eyeliner. I don’t know how since he has fur sometimes, but yeah, he still somehow uses eyeliner.

Honestly he probably keeps in a mostly human form or just entirely human form for that reason exactly. It’s just easier to look good when he’s more human.

But if you wanna pet his luxurious fur then he is all but willing to take on his goat form. In fact, if he turns into his goat form around you (which is always) he pretty much expects you to brush his fur or just run your hands through his fur. He will whine very loudly if you don’t.

Spare everyone else’s ears (especially Nadia’s) and just give him the head pats.

[brownandblackpearls]

📜 🖋 𝒞ourting with 𝒟r. 𝒟evorak (Julian x BlackReader) Pt.1

PART 1 SUMMARY:

You are a reputable, young beauty of means in Vesuvia, enjoying the winter courting season. An odd letter from an odd doctor finds its way to your door. You decide to respond.

─── Julian x black female reader

─── imagery + fiction

─── explicit smut

─── regency/historical/fantasy, courtship rituals, wealthy! MC, love letters, drama, handsome redheads

☾ next.

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

“Letters for you, Miss!” The scullery maid calls through the door.

You pause your writing, hesitating over your final line before turning to answer the call.

“Come in!”

The maid strides in with your daily mail on a silver platter. As expected, there is a heap of them from various suiters, all interested in seeking your hand. 

Some young, some old, some men, some women, some wealthy, and some positively blue-blooded, they are all voracious. Usually, your interest tends to wane after weeks and weeks of these greetings each season. The feeling especially set in after getting the particular suspicion that the lords, duchesses and dukes reaching out to you were having their own maids and butlers pen these letters, a copy of an inquiry to every potential young beauty in the region.

Consequently, many of the letters did not seem to genuine, remaining vague and distanced. Polite. 

Today, however, you find your lessons to be going slow. You decide to take a break and browse through the inquiries.

“Read through them for me, Delilah?” You call out the request as you lower your pen and clean your fingers in a warm, sudsy bowl of water on your desk. Drying your hands, you apply a spot of scented lotion on your fingers before smoothing it in and sliding your delicate gloves back on.

Delilah clears her throat, interested in the letters herself. 

You had no doubt the contents of the proposals would make waves throughout the household by sunset, but all of your staff were well-meaning. Just bored during these slow winter months. Honestly, you didn’t blame them for indulging in your courting dramas.

“Well,” Delilah begins, “Here is a letter from a Clarence Dunford Winthrop, hailing from Bremens County! He greets you and wishes you a very warm winter. ‘I am most pleased to write to you, Miss ------. I possess a healthy 34 years in me, and I seek the opportunity to meet and possibly enter the idea of courtship with you. Are the tales true that you are quite fine and b-buxom…? Goodness, how forward!”

You bite back a chuckle, allowing Delilah her scandalized looks and comments. After she’s thoroughly read Winthrop’s letter, she moves on to the next.

“This one,” she exclaims, “is from a young, Fiorentina Agosti, hailing from the Suthlands. She greets you amicably and wishes you a cozy winter. ‘Dear Miss ------, I am most delighted to write to you. I am a young woman of etiquette and good breeding. I am 23 years old, and yet for one so young, I am more certain of my passions and ambition than most grown adults. I seek the window of opportunity to introduce myself and my estate to you, as I am seeking to build my relationships with the nearby families of standing. I favor women only, as I’ll need a good, feminine eye to steer my estate towards a glorious future…what a boastful girl! I hear she is very attractive, though…”

Delilah goes on, examining letter after letter, reading aloud excitedly. Finally, she lands on a slightly ragged one, with a wax seal bearing no crest. Only a simple plant pattern with dried flowers and ferns trapped to the note.

“My,” Delilah wonders, flipping the envelope, “what a...humble introduction. Let’s hope that the contents are more splendid than the package they came in!”

Delilah adjusts the paper before her and begins.

“This one,” she explains, “is from a young…doctor…in the capital, near the palace. Oh, I think I recall this one? He is of great renown, but markedly odd. Hmm…He greets you fondly and asks if…if you have ‘seasonal allergies’...? He is more than happy to forward any herbs or teas that can help soothe inflammation…as a ‘show of good faith and possible friendship’—yes, very odd...He would like to know if you would be interested in accompanying him as an honored guest to his annual medical tools gala. There will be anatomical displays as well as guest surgeon speakers. Afterwards, he would like to take you to attend the opening night of a Vesuvian theatre drama, and then dinner. I—that sounds more exhausting than eventful. Goodness….“

Despite Delilah’s somewhat opinionated concerns, your interest perks at the oddness of the inquiry and the oddness of the planned date. You’re not so sure a medical gala will be of interest to you, as you’ve never attended one before, but you would like to try.  

“Delilah, please. No more commentary. What does the rest say...?”

Delilah harrumphs, moving on. “Well, he seems certain that you will find the engagement eventful and enlightening on his personage and he hopes to show you how good of a ‘provider he can be for a woman of your means’. He has ‘no grand heritage or acreages’, but he does have one of the ‘best practices in Vesuvia’ sporting several underling surgeons and plenty of business. New blood, instead of blue blood from the looks of it, if you ask me.”

You pause, thinking it over. 

The letter all sounded personally tailored and individualized for your reception, and clearly not something that was drafted up in the monotonous manner of house staff doing as ordered. 

The doctor seems very keen in meeting you... 

...You can’t help but feel the same.

“What is his name?”

Delilah levels you an uncertain look, noticing your choice, before sharing.

“The suitor signed off as a Dr. Julian Devorak.”

“Devorak,” you try out, rolling the name around in your mouth. 

It feels good.

“Thank you Delilah. You may place the letters in my box, save for the doctor’s. Please bring his to me, as well as my pen and good ink. I’ll also need the courting stationery.”

Delilah sours slightly before perking back up and doing as ordered quickly. She clearly does not approve of the choice but remembers her place, and knows that you are not one to be bossed. 

You wait until she delivers the stationery and retreats from your room before turning to your pen and paper, glancing at the letter from the doctor.

You perfume the parchment slightly, and use a fine, shimmering ink to dot the thick, French paper. You being to write, peering at your refined, swirling letters.

“Dear Sir…I take the first opportunity to acknowledge the flattering letter with which you have favored me…your discernment is of my deep interest, as well as your detailed plans for our hopeful outing. I consent to the date and time, and I look forward to your academic gala, as well as the theater and subsequent dinner. I implore that you arrive to chaperone me long before the sun is high in the sky, as we may need much time together that I am wont to spend with you. I will admit, I find you very curious and am interested to learn more of you. Warm Regards, ------.”

You finalize the paper with a neat calligraphy of your signature, before cleanly folding and pressing the letter. You choose a lovely envelope and seal it with wax before stamping and sending it off with Delilah to be mailed. 

“Hmm. Odd man,” you murmur to yourself, before moving on to send responses to the other requests of interest. 

The days pass by, eventful.

You go on several dates, some of note and some not so much. 

A few remain in your mind of potential. There was a beautiful countess seeking companionship after a split from her count…Nadia. Buxom and svelte, she was also the epitome of regality, and a brown-skinned beauty like yourself. You couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. 

There was also Asra, a mischievous but enchanting merchant king. You suspected a penchant for the occult on his end, but his beautiful face was too good of a distraction to focus on what may hide behind it. 

Then there was Muriel, a mysterious man with one of the largest claims of land in Vesuvia. He was fidgety and reserved, but you sensed a deep soul in him. 

Portia, the jeweler of the aristocracy, and her passionate stares paired with her down-to-earth jokes were enough to make you lower your guards and raise your spirits. 

Lastly,  Lucio. Oddly enough, he turned out to be the count that split with Nadia. You found his countenance alarming at first, only to later find a subtle charm in his passion for life, luxury and you.

All of them were far more interesting than the duds you’d went on dates with the past few weeks. 

Valdemar, the ambassador, had spilled soup all over your dress during a brunch while he spoke wildly about some conquest of his past. Then there’d been Volta, an odd little thing that insisted on trying all these unappealing, exotic dishes. There’d been Vlastomil, a weevil of a person who seemed more eager to gossip cruelly than to learn of you. And lastly...most memorably...there was Valdemar…you weren’t too sure what Valdemar did, but you were certain whatever it was, you wanted absolutely no part in it.

Weary from all the courting, you put your best face forward and hoped this day ended up being a delight instead of another disaster.

Foregoing flat-ironing, blowouts, presses, braids and twists this time, you decide to arrange for your servants to outfit you in lovely, long locs for the evening. You line them with fine silver trinkets, baubles, and rings before arranging your makeup to perfection and dressing in your finest, warm regards from the tailor.

Today was the day with the doctor, and you wanted to see exactly what kind of man he was. 

You donned a beautiful gown beneath your long, furred coat and lined your neck with a shining collar of diamonds. The winter snow would reflect stunningly off of them, as well as you.

Perfumed, plucked, and preened, you stand, assessing yourself in the mirror.

Vesuvia’s treasure.

You laugh, satisfied with the show stopping look, before leaving your room. You almost bump into a servant, rushing in to announce to you that the doctor has arrived with a carriage for you both.

“Let him in,” you say kindly, glancing out the window. Sure enough, a large, black carriage awaits. You lift your chest, square your shoulders, and raise your chin, allowing your lashes to lower and your aura to project.

You descend the stairs of your home into the grand hall, your eyes pinning the man that entered and awaited below, greeted politely by your staff.

‘Oh,’ you realize.

He’s gorgeous.

Your eyes widen slightly at the sight of him. Tall, tousled, and terribly attractive, Julian Devorak watched you, open-mouthed, as if you are some sort of ethereal being that decided to grace his mortal existence. Descending the marble stairs, you feel him watch every step you take until you finally reach the landing.

You decide to close the distance and break the ice when he makes no move, still in awe of you. No need for those stars in his eyes, you think. You want him dazzled, not anxious or elevating you to something or someone that is inaccessible.

He is here in your home, after all. If you were inaccessible to him, he wouldn’t be.

“Hello Dr. Devorak,” you grace easily, smiling. “I’m ------. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“J-Julian, please, no need for extraneous titles,” he insists in a light stammer. “The pleasure is all mine, I can assure you.”

‘Aaw,’ you think to yourself, looking fondly at him. You’ve heard the line so many times before, but somehow, the words sound so genuine coming off of his tongue. You also like the sound of his voice very much. He sounds like how he looks, you realize.

Julian mistakes your silence for something bad, and rushes to fill it.

“I-I can’t tell you how…how long I’ve anticipated today.”

“Oh?” You ask, tilting your head in wonder. 

Were you the only one he was querying? That wasn’t possible. There had to be others. You respond pleasantly.

“I’m honored...’Julian’. But I’m sure an interesting man such as yourself is entertaining many acquaintances and possess many options.”

Julian blushes, surprising you. He shakes his head, fingers fidgeting at his sides.

“Not exactly,” he offers, leaving it there.

Your brow lifts in wonder. 

“Really...? But I loved your letter. I’ve reread it several times and am not afraid to say so. I find you quite striking.”

If possible, Julian blushes even harder at that, daring to hold your gaze. You see an odd sort of mask arise on him then, a false yet endearing bravado. You don’t call it out and simply watch as he does his best to disguise his rampant shyness.

“Ah...thank you madam! But not nearly so striking as one such as yourself! Why, I remember the feeling of when I first laid eyes on you. It was as if  lightning had struck me.”

Your eyes widen in pleasure, curious. 

“Such flattery! Where did this occur?”

Julian smiles triumphantly, happy to visibly pique your interest.

“The theater! I noticed you in your private box and it was then I decided that I must inquire to learn more about you.”

Your smile broadens, and you can’t help but step closer. Julian feels very comfortable and warm, even with the pomp.

“So that’s how you knew I’d enjoy the theater!” You exclaim. You had wondered about it since his letter first arrived. He could’ve invited you to any event, any activity, and yet he knew the theater was the right choice...

Julian tenses as you near, unsure of where to look. You can’t tell if he wants you closer or farther away. You decide to hold firm and give him time to sort it out for himself.

“I-uh…yes.” He swallows thickly. “Allow me to enlighten you of the day’s activities in the carriage…?”

You nod, realizing that your questioning is holding the both of you up from your date. You step back, cowed.

“Of course! My apologies.”

Julian swiftly holds out a broad, gloved hand for you to take. The gentleman’s escorting hold.

“No need to apologize,” Julian insists, guiding your offered palm gently, “I...I actually should be the one to apologize.” He bites his lip, thinking of some unknown err. 

You glance at him as the two of you step out the front door together, waved off by your staff.

“Whatever for…?”

Julian looks sheepish, rounding you both to the carriage door and opening it for you.

“I....well!”  He pauses, the words sticking in his mouth. “I was...told by a confidant very recently that the medical gala may have some things that are not...er, conducive for a romantic atmosphere. So I must ask...you’re not squeamish of leeches, are you?”

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

AN: Do not copy, repost, or edit. If you see someone do so, please let me know.

☾ next.

☾ check my blog for more imagines.

[sunflowersseemhappy]

May I please have a headcanon of the Main 6 with an MC that loves physical affection and likes to run their hands through their hair, etc.? Thank you!!

Here you go @acefangirl1 ! Thank you for the request, sorry it’s a bit messy my brain is literal mush rn. I may edit this at a later date ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, we’ll see.

Requests are still open, up next main 6 with an apprentice who’s blind.

Much love and enjoy!

 Asra

Asra spent so long after your death craving your touch, sometimes he thought he felt your hand on his shoulder but all he turned around to was a silent shop. Faust helped but part of him always felt empty inside.

When he took that chance to bring you back and it worked? Gods he held you so tight, as if you would vanish at any moment.

When you came back you didn't quite understand 'hugging' but it felt good.

Asra taught you many things in the last three years, it's the main reason you are so physical in your affection. Whenever you struggled with a word he'd envelop your hand in his, and when you walked for the first time he held you just in case, and when you cried tears of frustration he would wipe them away and hug you kissing the top of your head. "You can do this; I know you can."

Your touch to him is like magic, despite any thoughts and feelings he feels in that moment your touch brings him peace and soothes his mind.

You learned quickly that Asra is a big fan of massages, as soon as your hands are rubbing firm circles against his shoulders he's melting down and sighing in relief. For someone usually so at ease he has some tension in those muscles. He insists on giving you a massage afterwards, and he loves to kiss your shoulders and the back of your neck.

You two have this thing you do while out and about together that you'll hold each other’s hands when you are thinking about each other. Asra will take many opportunities to kiss your hand while it's in his own.

When you're lying together in bed you can't keep your hands off each other, it's quite funny because Asra is constantly giggling under your touch and against your lips. It’s not that he’s ticklish, he’s just happy.

His hair is so thick that it always has tangles so you’re extra careful not to tug at it when you run your hands through his locks. Loves when your fingers tickle against his scalp and it is an instant turn on.

Nadia

That night she came to your shop and you placed your hand on her arm, guiding her in…

She’s the countess and it’s a surprise to her when you touch her with such ‘familiarity’ like the two of you are friends. But it’s oddly comforting, no one has touched her in such a manner since she awoke three months ago.

When you touched her arm Nadia’s headache stopped and her skin prickled, she was intrigued.

You’ve helped a lot since that moment, your touch a breath of fresh air as it chases away the headaches. It’s like your own practice in managing your headaches and lost memories flows into her.

On days, the two of you are working together preforming the duties in the palace you are almost constantly linked together by your arms. It’s a refined manner of physical affection that you suggested, but Nadia just likes it for how close it brings you together and how easy it is to peck you on the cheek.

During meetings and the like (when the courtiers are stressing her out) you like to place a hand on her knee soothingly and just give her the slightest smile. Almost as if to say; “I’m here.”

Nadia’s favourite thing is when you get her to rest her head in your lap, talking away as you trace her face with your fingers and loose her hair from all the ornaments and pins that held it in place. A lot of time you end up doing upside down kisses.

Being such a dominant partner Nadia likes the physical affection but can’t help but take over during more heated sessions. She’ll push you against a wall and absolutely devour your face and neck with kisses, what happens next is best left to the imagination…

Julian

He’s spent a long time on the run, seeking comfort with drink instead of with others. You may have been the first person to touch him with good intentions in many years and he is comforted. There’s something about you.

But he doesn’t want to get close, physically, or otherwise. He doesn’t want to hurt you even though he barely knows you, but you touch him, and he loses his resolve to push you away.

When you touch him, he doesn’t feel like a bad person, he just feels like himself. A part of him he thought he lost comes back when he’s with you.

Loves having his hair run through your fingers, it’s so relaxing and perfect that it will send him to sleep. He gets pouty after you use it to make him sleep because he doesn’t need sleep when he has a paper to write!

He really likes it when the two of you are snuggled up together in bed (even though he’s such an insomniac). He's all legs so the two of you are always tangled up when you're hugging. Nonetheless he really likes to lay on top of you, his torso straddled by your legs and rest his chin on your chest and look into your eyes while having a chat.

Loves your kisses but always asks for them “I’ve stolen many things Y/N but I will never steal from you.” You give him plenty of kisses, but he always wants more.

One time he complained that his hand was cramping so much it hurt so you took his hand and kissed it ‘better’. His mind instantly thought ‘more kisses?!’, now he complains about his ‘aches and pains’ all the time.

Muriel

Physical affection?! His guard was most definitely up the first time the two of you met, other than Asra he’s never quite experienced affection (even then there is minimal physical affection between them).

But he does know that Asra trusts you, Asra has told Muriel about you and how kind and good you are. Muriel trusts Asra, so maybe he can trust you too.

The first time you graze his arm he pulls tensely back, but your touch brought warmth to his skin and not pain like he had felt all those years in the Colosseum.

Once he gets used to your physical affection it’s like he’s addicted to your hugs, you hug so often they just blend together. He's a hug machine and doesn't want to stop holding you close to him.

Really likes hugging while you're on top of him. Scared to admit that he loves hugging you when he's partway on top of you, legs wrapped up and head against your chest or the crook of your neck.

One day you decided to jump and hug him from behind, impromptu piggyback ride!

Mumbles incoherently when you give him any kind of affection, you can’t tell if he’s embarrassed or pleased. More often it’s the latter.

You often pecks one of his cheeks with a kiss as you leave for the shop, but on days Muriel feels like he needs more than one he’ll pull you close and let you kiss all over his face. Then he’ll do the same to you, this may or may not have gotten him in the mood.

Further on the above, he whines when you tease him and kiss his face everywhere but his lips. One of the few times he pulls you in for a kiss

Forehead touches, that’s it. Soft, sweet, breaths mingling. Just being there with each other and feeling the world disappear.

Portia

She thinks it’s great you are so physically affectionate, the two of you are ‘affectionate’ buddies and it is an endless cycle of hugs, kisses, hand holding and more hugs.

That first day you met (after the pomegranates went everywhere) and your hand gazed her own, Portia didn’t quite realise how close the two of you would be one day, but she knew you were special!

The past few years where Julian disappeared were hard for her, other than Mazelinka she had no family to speak of around her. So, when you came along bringing physical affection reminiscent of a family member, she thought of you as such.

Physical affection with Portia is giddy and fun, you quickly found out that she really likes to be picked up and spun around (given you’re strong enough, if not she’ll be the one picking you up). Particularly after a long time apart (which for her is after a couple of hours after you last saw one another!) But how could you deny her the joy?

At particularly intimate moments the two of you just rub your noses together and giggle at the ridiculously cute sappy people you are. You’re pretty sure Portia got the idea from Pepi, who also likes to stick her face in yours.

Further to the above, after/during the time you are rubbing your noses together the two of you just messily kiss over each other’s faces. Cue getting in the mood.

Cupping each other’s faces in hands and just soul gazing, feeling breaths wash over each other and mingle, memorising the colours and patterns in each other’s eyes and feeling each blemish over smooth skin. Portia can’t remember her parent’s faces, but no matter what she wants to remember yours.

Loves to just snuggle up and read/sew/or do another homey activity together. You two are close together and get to chat, its terribly mundane but Portia really enjoys it because your head is in her lap and she gets to watch you do something you enjoy while also doing the same thing herself. She imagines it to be something her mother would have done with her.

Lucio

That day you used the blood magic to make him semi-corporeal, he was just about ready to admit defeat and just do the most reckless s**t as a not-ghost to entertain himself.

But when you, the first person in three years to notice him and then touch him, did so he almost lost his mind. He didn’t think he missed physical affection that much, but your touch was better than all his imaginings of eating until he passed out or throwing that huge party he had been planning.

It was a special moment for him, he’s so glad you walked into the palace that day.

Just the simple act of hand holding is what Lucio loves most. It is a must have during his day, reminding him he is finally alive and here. Reminding him that you, you wonderful, amazing person stood by him and helped him be better.

That said he always holds your hand with his real arm, once time when you tried to hold his prosthetic hand the sharp fingers stabbed you in the palm. Even when the sharp plates are off, he’s very wary of holding your hand. You can tell he’s still very sorry, he’s still trying to make up for it.

He loses his mind (there’s a lot of that) when your big spoon him and kiss along his back, shoulders, and neck. He feels protected and vulnerable at the same time and it’s such a jumble of conflicting emotions he can’t help but get in the mood.

Plays footsie with you anytime anywhere, during dinner, meetings, in bed… It’s like a game and whoever wins gets to have the other do whatever they want *wink, wink*. He ‘let’s you win a lot’.

You once took the lead during a slow dance and he was didn’t even complain, so long as your hands are on him… He will let you dip and twirl him all night long.

[latinasmoak]

the sweetest life (and the loving is easy when you’re with me)  

tumblr version: 

"It all started with an eclair. "

(Modern Polin AU) A mini series on how a couple of delectable desserts have the power to make Penelope Featherington's dreams come true.

rating: mature

tags: tooth rotting fluff, seriously so sweet it’s cavity inducing , it starts off sweet but we will be getting smutty in later chapters!

Chapter One: Mocha Eclairs 

It all started with an eclair.  

No wait, Penelope was getting ahead of herself.

It all started when she finally moved out of her mother’s home. The day when she realized that she was free from all the backhanded compliments, the nitpicking statements or worse, her mother’s “helpful” advice that wasn’t really helpful at all.  Penelope loved her mother, she really did but Penelope would also be the first to admit that they had nothing in common and those differences often led to moments of extreme dislike and disappointment. But that daily torment was the past, now that she was in her own flat, and out of Portia’s critical eye, she was only privy to criticisms when she deemed it necessary to visit her mother, which to no one’s surprise, wasn’t often. And more importantly, living on her own - oh alright, with Eloise Bridgerton as her roommate of course - Penelope was finally free to indulge in one of her favorite secret hobbies. Baking.

When Penelope couldn’t write, she found that redirecting her brain power to learning the techniques and rules of baking, a satisfying distraction. (Self taught and with nothing but online tutorials, plenty of hands on attempts and several spectacular failures, Penelope felt a spark of excitement when, eventually, her creations didn’t turn out as complete disasters) . She still remembers the day her pastry attempt finally didn’t crumble or fall in on itself! When she had taken a bite and sighed with pleasure at how delectable it had turned out to be. To say she felt complete joy and satisfaction was a vast understatement. Her baking steadily improved and now she’s reached the point where sharing her creations with her favorite person was no longer unthinkable.

A flutter of butterflies erupted in her stomach and Penelope took a deep breath, trying to settle her nerves. Before her very eyes was her own take on a mocha eclair; lightly brown, oblong choux pastry filled with an espresso creme patisserie. It was topped with a dark chocolate mascarpone and simply decorated with chocolate shavings. It looked divine and it smelled heavenly and all the while Penelope’s heart was about ready to burst. She had only one person in mind while she was making these treats, the one person who was constantly in her thoughts.

Colin Bridgerton.

Colin, her best friend’s older brother who was also her friend...sort of. At least she considered him her friend and Penelope dearly wished he felt the same. Well, if she was honest, she would prefer it if he viewed her as more than just a friend, but Penelope had been Eloise’s friend since childhood and because of that she was, unfortunately, like another sister to him.

Penelope shook her head, her loose curls flying about as she attempted to redirect her thoughts from the depressing spiral of her unrequited love. Instead she focused on boxing up her beautiful chocolatey creations. She was after all, expected over at the Bridgertons’ for dinner.

What was unexpected, was the sound of the front door opening and Eloise clamoring her way in. Penelope tilted her head in confusion as she stepped out of her tiny kitchen and followed the sound to see El.

“Why are you here? I thought we were meeting up at your mum’s place?”

Her shouted question was met with silence. No response came from her best friend as she zipped her way to her room, mumbling something utterly incomprehensible.  

“According to her, she needed something from her room quite urgently , and no it could not wait, so here we are. At least we can all head to mum’s together.”

A distinctive male voice answered her, startling her enough to make her flinch. Her stomach dropped and her heart began pounding double time, but not just because of the fright, no... even without turning just yet there was no way she could ever mistake his voice. So melodic and captivating as it was, Penelope merely lifted her hand to her heart, willing it to slow down as she turned around to face the man of her dreams.

“C-Colin, you startled me.”

She tried to laugh off her reaction, cursing the fact that his simple presence was enough to make her body go haywire.

A little crease on his forehead appeared as he frowned. “I’m sorry Pen, I didn’t mean to give you a scare.”

He scratched at the back of his head, a small smile making its way onto his face.

“I thought you would have seen me behind El.”

Whatever she was about to say next was interrupted by Colin sniffing the air and casually heading towards the kitchen. “Pen, what is that? It smells really good in here,” his voice got softer the further away from her he got and Penelope quickly chased after him, knowing better than to leave him alone with a box of sweets. Penelope knew the instant he noticed her eclairs. It was hard to describe how excited he was, but his whole being came alive at the sight of food.

“Where did you buy these? Can I try one?”

Instead of answering, Penelope booked it, managing to reach the box before he did. A little miracle as she zoomed past him before standing in front of her treats, using her own body as a barrier to keep the man with a black hole as a stomach away. If she hadn’t been so busy trying to catch her breath, she would have laughed at the astonished look on his face. Colin had clearly not been expecting her to react like that but it wasn’t long before his stunned expression morphed into one of humor, his eyes alight with fondness.

After a few deep breaths Penelope finally had the capacity to answer without wheezing,

“I didn’t buy these. I made them. Yes you may have one, but not now. I was going to bring them to dinner.”

Penelope nervously pushed back her loose curls behind her ear before continuing.

“I know you Colin, if you eat one now, you could be tempted to finish the whole box and that wouldn’t be fair to your brothers and sisters.” she teased.

He didn’t need to know that the reaction she was looking forward to the most was his. In fact, Penelope had gone to great lengths to hide how pathetically in love she was with the third Bridgerton brother. From the moment boys had stopped being icky to her, her heart had belonged to him. It wasn’t just that he was ridiculously handsome and charming. Or that he was constantly smiling and having a good laugh. It was the fact that deep down, he was so... kind . He included her when he didn’t need to and he listened whenever she found the strength to push her shyness aside for actual meaningful conversation. Colin more than any of the other Bridgerton siblings -with perhaps the exception of Eloise- made her feel like she belonged . A feeling that was hard to come by in her own family. To feel it with him was something she so deeply treasured.

What started off as a childhood crush simply grew with every new detail about him she collected through the years. A soft and simple affection that bloomed into a deep, unshakable love. Of course, with every year that passed, her love grew stronger; the heaviness of the unreciprocated feelings began to build up too. The pain settled in her heart, encasing it bit by bit. She learned to tolerate the pain because the alternative, to cast him out completely, was unbearable and impossible. She’d rather have him as a friend, if nothing else. For now that was enough.

“You made them?”

Colin perked up and he leaned in closer, his height giving him the advantage to look over her and peer at the box.

“I didn’t know you could bake! Why didn’t I know? I feel like that is information I would know.”

His furrowed brows and mumbling was so cute Penelope had to squeeze her hands into a tight fist to resist the urge to softly brush away the wrinkles on his forehead with her fingers. And oh how she wanted to lightly cup his face and stand on her tippy toes for a simple kiss on his lips.

She pushed those thoughts aside and instead she laughed, oddly pleased with his reaction, with the knowledge that he cared. Cared enough to be disgruntled that she had secrets.

Pushing at his chest so that he would back up, Penelope looked up and smirked.

“Bold of you to assume you know all my secrets, Bridgerton.”

-

A huff of shocked laughter escaped him; this was a new side of Penelope, and Colin couldn’t help but be a little awed by the sight of her. There was this new confidence about her, and he liked it.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had been surprised so many times in such a short amount of time. Since when did she bake well enough that her pastries looked like they were ordered fresh from a bakery? Since when was she fast enough to be on one side of the flat one moment and a second later right in front of him? Since when did she know how to smirk?

Nevermind that she was still adorably flushed, her bright blue eyes brimming with mischief as they met directly with his gaze. He was soon distracted by her deep red curls flying loose around her face. An unnamed feeling spread through him as he looked at her and he shifted his stance, backing away a little and letting her hand drop from his chest.

He was a little dismayed at the sudden urge he felt to get closer and wrap his arms around Penelope’s soft curves. To personally push her curls behind her ears before tilting her head and - stop. Stop. Where did that thought even come from? Trying his best not to think about where his mind was venturing to, Colin instead took Penelope’s full body defense of her treats as a challenge. God knows what was taking Eloise so long, but he would take advantage of this time to charm his way to a snack. The smell in the kitchen was absolutely mouthwatering and he couldn’t imagine Penelope not excelling at whatever she put her mind to, so he was positive in the knowledge that those eclairs would be delicious.

Throwing away any shame, Colin Bridgerton immediately clasped his hands together in a praying motion. He widened his green eyes pleadingly before setting his mouth into a perfectly formed pout.

“Oh come on Pen, please? Just one. I’m hungry.”

Penelope was not impressed, her single brow rising was enough to inform him of this.  

“Colin you are always hungry! The sky is blue, water is wet and Colin Bridgerton has a black hole for a stomach.” She uttered dryly.

Colin pressed his hand over his heart dramatically as he gasped.

“Penelope! What a barb!”

Her resulting giggle was music to his ears, but he still had not given up on his endeavor. If regular pouting wasn’t enough, he would have to try something a little more drastic, but he was committed to this now.

-

Penelope’s mouth dropped open as soon as Colin went down to his knees, once again his hands clasped together, this time with him shaking them back and forth as he whined.

“Pen have mercy on me, your friend, who is so hungry and only wants to try your food. Please Pen. Please.”

Stunned, Penelope takes a few seconds before covering her face with her hands and bursting into laughter.

“Oh my god. Colin! Stand up! You are so bloody ridiculous, I can’t believe you just did that!”

She leaned forward and offered him her hand, still laughing, but she was shocked when he didn’t immediately reach out.

“I’m not getting up until you let me have an eclair, Pen.” He grumbled.

Rolling her eyes she giggled as she agreed to his demands. The fact that she had been able to resist him this long was enough of a victory for her. A few weeks ago the pouty face would have been enough for her to cave.

“Oh alright, yes! I’ll let you have one. Now get up.”

She helped pull him up, not really needing to do much since he was strong and agile enough that he didn’t really need her support. But it meant a lot to her that he still accepted her help, for she would always freely offer it. And if a spark went through her at the mere brush of their hands, and a tingling sensation followed as he gripped her tightly, well she would keep pretending like it was nothing. Even though it was everything.

After ensuring that they’d washed their hands, she pulled out a paper plate for him. Penelope then carefully opened the box and pulled out a single mocha eclair. She watched as his green eyes gleamed with pure want, and for a second she was insanely jealous over the fact that he would never have that expression on his face as he looked at her. She snapped out of it though, getting jealous over a pastry was a new low. Even for her.

Penelope held her breath, her stomach tangled up in knots as she waited for his verdict. Trying her best not to let her eyes linger on his mouth too much, she watched as Colin took his first bite of her mocha eclair. The one she’d made especially for him, with all the love and care she never had the bravery to share aloud. She almost looked away, something about seeing him eat a treat she made with her own hands felt a little too intimate, but his moan of appreciation had her unable to tear her eyes away from his face.

His expression… it was bliss. Green eyes widening before closing as he took in the flavors she incorporated for him, that heady mix of chocolate and coffee.

Penelope could only blush as her heart beat a tad bit faster and a beaming smile made its way onto her face as he took another hearty bite.

“That good, huh?” She said cheekily, feeling confident in the face of him devouring the sweet instead of, say, spitting it out politely.

“Inf oh ‘ood”

His mouth, still stuffed, made his response sound like pure nonsense but the approval was unmistakable. Penelope wrinkled her nose a bit at him attempting to speak with his mouth full but even that lapse in manners was utterly endearing.

Damn him .

She was so caught up in her joy that he liked it that she almost missed him reaching out for another one as soon as he had taken his last bite. Penelope’s eyes widened in alarm and she reached out for her box of eclairs.

“No! Nope! Colin the agreement was one eclair! I did not make this whole box for you! I did, in fact, make them with the intention of sharing with your whole family!”

She stepped out of his reach, protecting the rest of the pastries from his never ending appetite.

“Pen,” Colin whined, his eyes staring longingly at the box.

“You can’t just let me try one of the greatest eclairs I’ve ever had in my life and expect me to only be content with one!”

He reached for the box again, single-minded in his attempt to satiate his craving for another bite. The fact that Penelope had made it still had him in awe. When he had taken his first bite, the urge to groan had been practically overwhelming. It was like ambrosia, an explosion of flavor, the bitterness of the coffee followed by the sweetness of the chocolate and creme. He was distraught when he had opened his eyes to realize that he had devoured his whole eclair. He needed more.

Penelope turned her back on him, cradling the box and using her own body as a shield, shaking her head back and forth all the while. Another huff of laughter escaped him, she was so cute, protecting the sweets for his family. A noble endeavor indeed but he was much taller and the wall she made was nothing compared to his height. He stepped forward, his chest to her back, his arms wrapping around hers, Penelope stiffened in his pseudo embrace but Colin didn't notice as he finally had the box in his hands. Just in time too, as Penelope let go and twisted her way out of his arms.

“That’s not fair! Using the fact that you’re a giant against me is rude.”

Penelope was amazed that her voice wasn't shaking considering her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. What was that? She had been so close to melting into his embrace, the urge to lean back against his chest and breathe in his scent had been so strong. How dare he do this? Didn’t he know she was only so strong? The fact that she could still feel him around her was enough to drive her insane.

“It’s not my fault you are so tiny, Pen.”

Colin grinned as looked down at the box, lifting the cover and mentally counting how many were left, “Come on Pen, there’s enough -” his sentence was cut short when Penelope grabbed the box from his hands unexpectedly and bolted to the other side of the counter, leaving him standing there in utter shock.

“Again? When did you get so fast? I swear I only blinked!” Twice now she had exhibited an alarming sense of speed.

“You guys are cute.”

Both Colin and Penelope are startled when a husky voice enters the conversation. They had completely forgotten about Eloise being in the flat with them. Caught up in the impromptu tug of war over the eclairs. They looked over at Eloise’s grinning face. Neither one of them sure they liked the twinkling light in her expressive brown eyes.

“I was here for a solid ten minutes enjoying the show, but mum’s waiting for us so let's get a move on.”  

Eloise then grabbed the box from Penelope’s hands and headed towards the door.

“Let's make haste people!”

-

It didn’t take long after that dinner for Colin Bridgerton to become a frequent guest in Penelope’s kitchen. What started off as simple requests for his favorite treats quickly became an insistence on her part that he was to be her sous chef and help her clean up. Not that it was ever a chore, but if she was to dedicate so much of her time to feeding him, it couldn't be for free. His time was more than enough of a payment for her and every dessert she made was a labor of love. It was liberating in a way, to channel all her feelings into the dough and creams and treats. She was no longer bottling it all up, no longer letting it stew and fester and morph into agony.

And it was indescribable, the joy she felt to see Colin enjoy her food so earnestly. To see his hearty appetite satisfied by her own creations. Penelope felt like she was high in the clouds, he was always texting her new recipes they could make together or locations of different bakeries they could try. She never expected any of this, the fact that their friendship would grow into something deeper. Of course she still yearned for them to be more, and she constantly had to remind herself to not make a big deal out of normal platonic affectionate gestures. She was content for now, to have him at her side.

It all started with an eclair…

But it all escalated with a strawberry crème brûlée.

|| CHAPTER TWO  ||  || AO3 ||

[al-perthe]

The Arcana - MC with Epilepsy Headcanons (LIs & Courtiers)

I know we're most of the way through November, but it's National Epilepsy Awareness Month, and as someone with seizures, I thought I'd do a headcanon post for the Main 6 & Courtiers with an apprentice who has epilepsy - can be interpreted as platonic or romantic if you so choose. The Courtier ones are more about prevention or very specific scenarios so theymaynotbeasgood

Note that epilepsy manifests differently for everyone, so I may not have had the same experiences as someone else; I did my best to research outside of my own experiences but it may come across as rather general or vague. That being said, feel free to add on if you'd like to contribute (especially for the Courtiers... pls help).

EDIT: Under a read more because I didn’t realize how big this was, sorry!

ASRA:

Getting you to take your medication, and remember when to do so, was one of the challenges he faced when you awakened without any memories three years ago.It really took him a while to feel safe travelling out of the city, constantly worrying about what if you forgot a dose, what if you had a really bad seizure and got hurt, or even the thought of you just having a smaller one and feeling alone and afraid... As someone who enjoys naps, he's probably the best at making sure you get a good night of rest to help prevent seizures.

Safe. Peaceful. No danger.

Naturally, Faust is going to help comfort you after a seizure, especially if she can tell that you're experiencing fear and/or confusion as a result of it.

NADIA:

When you first started the investigation, you made sure she was aware of your condition. You assured her you'd be okay to take it on, just be a little patient if you were ever 'out of it' for a few minutes.

Oh, it's no trouble at all - she'll make sure that a specialist is brought in to ensure your treatment is the best it can be.

But a few moments later, she clarifies - this isn't being done for the sake of the investigation, and she apologizes if she gave off that impression. She does genuinely care about your well-being, and if she needs to take a step back or if there's more she can do, just let her know.

Her room is definitely the go-to spot if you need a quiet spot to wind down after a seizure.

Also good at making sure you're comfortable and can sleep well.

JULIAN:

Part of you wondered 'what if...?' when you found out about Julian's healing mark, but you dismissed it quickly - there's a chance it wouldn't work, and with the whole murder investigation going on, dealing with seizures (even if temporarily in theory) would just be another thing weighing on him. You couldn't do it. You wouldn't do it. It was selfish.As a doctor, he's the best at recognizing your symptoms as a result - he can tell right away if you're having an aura and need to move to a quieter spot or at least sit down. He does worry about it each time it happens, but puts on a calm face for your sake.Even Malak seems a little bit quieter when you're having a rough time with your epilepsy.Need a distraction afterwards ? Count on him to have a story from his travels to get your mind off it!Of course, let him know if your symptoms change, or if your medication doesn't seem to be having the same effect - he'll look into finding a more effective treatment.

MURIEL:

Inanna's the best at picking up when you're about to have a seizure, and lets Muriel know immediately.Since she can't always accompany him, he's done his best to learn to recognize when a seizure's on the way, or when it's happening. As someone who prefers peace and quiet, he knows the go-to places for some privacy if you're in the presence of other people.The most calming presence you could ask for once the seizure has passed. If you're experiencing confusion afterward, he asks you simple questions and makes simplified statements to help ground you in reality. So ironically, he's the best at helping you remember what happened.He may not be the best at striking up a conversation, but will offer you some words of comfort and reassurance afterwards.

PORTIA:

After your first seizure around her, she acknowledges that 'something just didn't feel right' moments before.

No guilty feelings though - once you've settled down, she asks what she can do to help in the future. She'll support you the best she can.

She's actually the one who brings you to Mazelinka, to see if she knows about any home remedies that could somehow help. At the very least, her soup will give you a good night's sleep to help prevent them!

Naturally, she also seeks guidance from Julian on how to help you with your condition.

If you're feeling anxious after a seizure, she's actually the one who's best at rationalizing you through those fears. The dread that there's someone just outside the cottage, the shop, etc that could hurt you? She checks out the windows and doors first, confirms with you that there's nobody out there, and reassures you that even if there was someone out there after you, they'll have to go through her first!

Expect to find notes from time to time with compliments or general positivity that also remind you to take your medication!

LUCIO:

If you've spaced out due to a seizure, you might need something repeated. He's not normally one for patience... but you're the exception. If anyone gives you a hard time for it, he's bound to round on them with a death glare.

As the Count, he's got access to all kinds of resources. He spares no expense at making sure there's specialists who can get you the best medication as possible, as quickly as possible, when you're in need of a new supply.

Mercedes and Melchior spend more time around you too - they aren't as quick to pick up on an oncoming seizure, but when they do, they make a great team. One of them stays with you, and the other goes off to find Lucio.

Need to get your mind off it? Did you know that he had a saltwater crocodile as a companion during his travels near the Sea of Persephia in his early mercenary days? When he first met the crocodile, it was clearly starving, so he had to wrestle it off... and as he goes on his heroic tirade, it's not so much the adventures themselves but the clearly exaggerated parts that entertain and distract you.

Sometimes you just need something or someone to hold onto, to keep you at peace and keep you feeling real after a seizure. Okay... so... patience, peace, and quiet aren't exactly his strong points. But - with a firm yet comforting hand on your shoulder - he's got your back, and you'll get through this.

VALDEMAR:

Epilepsy? It's actually more common than you think. They've naturally seen it plenty of times over the years.

Some types of epilepsy are limited to specific regions of the brain. Theoretically, it could be possible through surgery to alter or even remove the areas where your seizures generate... you leave it at a "I'll get back to you on it" and stick with your medication for now.

Then it finally happens. You've had a seizure in their presence. You're feeling confused and uneasy, but Valdemar doesn't seem bothered at all. "Seems like you're starting to come back. You might feel unwell for a few minutes, but that's typical in the postictal stage." More confusion. "... Right, simplified terms. You had a seizure. Now you're recovering. What you're feeling will pass. You need only wait a few minutes."

The explanations are nonchalant, blunt, and brief. But that just makes it easier to understand. It's... surprisingly calming, too. You scoot a little closer to them. They don't move away.

Will share interesting accounts of historical figures who also dealt with epilepsy, and reviews their own records of past patients with symptoms similar to yours to study potential triggers and effective treatments or preventions. After a while, you start talking beyond that, about how your day went and other chitchat. It seems that as a result of the time spent around you, they have grown... rather fond of your presence.

VALERIUS:

Obviously, for safety reasons, you're not going to drink heavily. But while some people have to avoid alcohol entirely due to their seizures, you're part of the typical group that can handle some alcohol, a drink or two depending on the strength.

If you're out with Valerius at some sort of soiree, he'll make sure that the one drink you get is the best one suited to your palate. Similarly, he points out the best food to pair with it so that way you're also eating to neutralize the alcohol.

Sometimes, you decide to pass on the drinking, and have fruit juice or even just straight up water served in a wine glass. He'll frown at you, but you KNOW you saw the briefest hint of amusement in his eyes.

To be frank, he usually attends these sort of gatherings for the wine and/or meeting with important figures. So he is ready to get you out of there if you need a quiet spot away from others.

He's not very good with reassurance. Sure, just a simple 'it's going to be okay' can help, but is it really enough? You can't just expect him to repeat it like a mantra or something. He's absolutely making that flustered face as he tries to figure out other things to say, but that's comforting on its own - he's trying for your sake.

VLASTOMIL:

Maybe there was a sudden flash of lightning, maybe there was some 'grand finale' of a fireworks show, but your photosensitivity stirred up a seizure in you.

He's not really sure what to do, but a cautious approach is a best approach.

He draws you aside later to ask about what happened - now admittedly, he's not very familiar with epilepsy. But photosensitivity? Absolutely! There are certain species of worm that are actually quite sensitive to lighting, such as... oh, right. The point is, for some enclosures, he's used a special type of tinted glass to reduce the effects of sunlight and nights when the moon is brighter, and perhaps something similar might be useful for you?

A week later, he brings you a pair of spectacles with darker lenses. They actually do the job pretty well? And he even had them designed to go along with your aesthetic? Whether he had them commissioned or if he just crafted them himself, this is... surprisingly nice.

Oh, and you can't forget the tea. Filling you in on the latest gossip and the occasional Worm Fact once you're feeling calmer is his way of taking your mind off any lingering anxiety. Also, he recommends a variety of herbal teas that calm nerves or even help you fall asleep.

VOLTA:

The first time it happened, oh, Volta did not know what to do! She was so distraught that someone else had to step in and help you collect yourself.

But now that she's aware of your condition, she will offer you words of comfort and kindness to help you after your seizure has passed. Volta's a sweetheart, of course she'd be good at that!

She has a highly developed sense of smell thanks to all the food she exposes herself to. It seems as though, when you were having stronger or more frequent seizures, there was something in your diet you had been eating more often.

In other words, she helped you determine that certain foods were contributing to your seizures. Grapefruit seemed to be the only thing you needed to avoid - come to think of it, you recall that it doesn't react well with certain components used in preparing your medicine - and other foods just needed to be consumed less.

She'll eat those foods at any gatherings, since you're trying to avoid them... oh, but save some of the other dishes for Volta, too!

VULGORA:

Tonic-clonic or grand mal seizures... call them what you will, but point is, if you collapse and lose consciousness in a seizure, they will get everyone to STAND. BACK.

"It's a seizure, just give it a minute or two, it'll pass! I SAID, STAND. BACK!! IF you're so much as THINKING about trying to hold them down, DON'T. NO! Swallowing the tongue IS NOT A THING!! Not unless you CUT IT OFF and FORCE IT IN SOMEONE'S MOUTH! Which I am CLEARLY NOT DOING!!"

... Okay, so getting other people to stay calm while you're having a seizure is not their strong suit. But they're certainly good at getting people to keep their distance, at least.

They're talkative and energetic! Of course being calm and quiet is hard for them! ... But maybe that's just another challenge for them to conquer? The first time they tried they basically just held their breath as long as they could.

Someone actually had the audacity to make a rude remark about your condition. But unfortunately for them, they somehow missed the bright red figure of Pontifex Vulgora in the vicinity.

That person was never seen in Vesuvia again. Because they moved out, after receiving a rather persuasive argument to move to... some other place. Oh, okay, you were worried there was some other reason they disappeared.

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 1

I'm supposed to dislike the Featherington mama, right? I mean, I rather enjoy tasteless and tactless at times.

And I'm supposed to like the Bridgerton family? Name of the show and all.

Ah, the "rebel" sister. Not predictable at all.

I would be mad as hell....getting my back scratched up by tree bark, and the son of a bitch fucking me looks down at his watch....then proceeds to hurry up! Even his footman is like "this mf."

Ok mama, shade your hoe ass son then.

All these white dresses. I could never. I am feeling the feathers in the hair though.

Gawd bless these poor Featherington girls. I can't be the only one who cringes when things are awful and embarrassing. And the Queen. She is not here for the shits. AT ALL.

And here's our heroine. Ok, Daphne! You got the seal of approval from the queen. All y'all did was curtsy and bow your head but I guess you did it the prettiest. What a fucking time to be alive.

Gossip papers are legit the regency gossip blog/podcast.

I'm getting Little Women vibes from Daphne and Eloise....but instead of Meg, Daphne has MAJOR Amy energy (SHE JUST DOES. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT). Eloise is a Jo, which needs no explanation.

Diamond of the first water. That's how I want to be complimented going forward.

Aww Portia....your hating ass! And of course the wicked sisters are hateful to the heavier sister. She's not even really chunky or blemished for them to be acting like that. Penelope has a round face and a very clear complexion....but it's Hollywood so I digress.

Portia and her mean ass daughters are eating crow. All that hating and shit and now the country cousin is a baddie.

Oh excuse me. I'm pretty sure an orgasm just rode in on a horse.

Oh he's a brooding drunk Duke. Yummy poison. And I think we just met the real Queen in this universe. "Your regrets are denied." You going to her party mf! You gotta meet Daphne somehow. Shit. But leave the flask at home. I cannot.

Hoe ass Anthony. Poor Sienna.

'Thank you, next' is literally the perfect song for this scenario.

Oh great, Anthony's hoe ass is a cockblock too.

Yeah, Mama, he stresses me out as well!

All her brothers can't be hoes, surely.

Y'all can't duck the goat! Get in that ass Lady Danbury.

Oooh shit. Baby Bridgerton brother spotted the country cousin!

Well hello Duke! That damn swarm!

Daphne is done with your shit Anthony. She just wants to have some fun and find a husband!

Gawd, now this creepy fuck. You should have stayed with your hoe ass brother.

Aw she's shaking on his ass. "Adieu." MF!

But he's not having it!

Run Daphne! Right into the Duke. What a fucking meet cute.

Oh, he's a cocky mf! And she doesn't even know who tf he is. Golden.

Of course he knows her hoe ass brother.

Yeah, mf. That's his sister. You looking curious now. Here we go.

Oh she's low-key roasting him.....and I think he likes it.

*me singing "Look look look look back at you for what?" I'm not finishing that line. I would always look back at that specimen of a man right there though.

Damn hoe ass Anthony, the carriage ain't gonna turn into a fucking pumpkin. Let her have some fun! He irks the fucking piss out of me.

Oh great. He's here to do more blocking.

Marina got fans!

'Girls Like You' is also fitting for this scene .

Poor Daphne. This creepy fuck about to shoot his shot again.

Damn, Portia. Quit being hateful to Marina, shit. I'm trying to like you.

And here's Berbrooke's creepy ass.

Eloise tried to save her sister. She really did. At least Hyacinth is here.

Aww Penelope likes Colin, but Colin likes Marina. This is soapy, yet delicious.

Anthony, you're not just a hoe, but a dumb hoe. I told y'all Daphne gave me Amy vibes. Marriage is not a game for her. You better tell your dumb ass brother!

Anthony and Simon have excellent chemistry. I want to know more about their history and relationship. They've obviously been up to hoe shit together.

Oh Penelope your jealousy is showing.

Lord Featherington looks like creep and I don't trust him.

Yay Berbrooke, another creep I don't trust.

The Shade Queen and the Scheming Queen.

The plotsky thickens. Them ladies plotting and scheming and matchmaking.

I mean Marina is obviously tripping because there's not blood on her sheets. Secret pregnancy plot point? Maybe.

Inviting the Duke for dinner and seating him next to Daphne. Y'all are neither slick, nor subtle.

Francesca saying what we're all thinking. Yes honey he does have a presence about him. Eloise dropping facts. He is a rake. And it's hot.

That look. Don't look so repulsed, Daphne. That man fine. Plus he's amused by your attitude.

Ok lil banter. Daphne stays shading the fuck out of him on the low. He snapped back this time though.

And Anthony looking all concerned that they're talking. Bye hoe.

And the scheme is unraveling.

Also, I'm going to look up a Gooseberry Pie recipe.

Anthony, you're really irritating me with this controlling shit man. Get his ass Violet. This mf really thinks he runs shit. Crush him mama! Crush him!

He really went to fuck her one last time and then kicked her out. He's literally the worst! Fuck Anthony. Fuck him with a cactus.

The bloody corset marks are a very fine detail, indeed.

Penelope, you cutie. I like the pink!

This raggedy bitch! That's why Colin told you no, HEAUX!

The swarm.

Ok Duke and Daphne. I see y'all seeing each other from afar.

The maid spotted the non-blooded sheet. Now sheet gonna hit the fan.

*It's electric! Boogie woogie oogie!*

Damn it all to hell, Anthony. Just when I think you can't get worse, you fucking do! You really out here PROMISING Daphne to fucking Berbrooke. I get that the Duke is your fuckboy homie and all but this mf right here is straight up creep. Anthony.....sit on a cactus.

Aw Marina, you busted boo. All the clapback came with a slapback. There is a nuance to Portia I can't put my finger on. Its why I can't hate her even though she's been pretty awful.

Daphne trying to take a beat and this creepy fuck shows up! Oh he went full fucking creep mode. Is he really trying to force himself upon her?!

Have no fear, the Duke is near...trying to be captain save a hoe, but alas the hoe saved herself. Daphne knocked that mf clean out! And the Duke is impressed! This looks like the start of a beautiful situationship.

Daphne gotta blow this popsicle stand before someone catches her alone with 2 men. One according to the Duke. He's got funnies.

Did that mf just propose while unconscious? Berbrooke begone, shit!

Amy...I mean Daphne still dropping knowledge about the lack of options women in that era had. I rather like Daphne.

The Duke likes her better without all the fans. Hmm.

Oh here it is.

Yes pretend to be lovers. That always works out well. No one ever catches feelings.......said no one ever.

I mean y'all are hot and this is what I came here for, but still.

See, situationship.

They're convincing because they're only pretending to pretend. I cannot with these 2, already.

[clownattack]

Castor - character bio

I’ve been struggling with getting a bio out for Cas for waaaaay too long now, but i feel pretty ok with how it looks currently - i'm going to repost it on my art blog with some drawings of Cas and Hjalle in the future (hopefully). If you want to skip most of the nonsense and just get a feel for her personality, the section under the bio paragraphs is FULL OF POINTS.

links to drawn refs here and here

Longpost under the cut

✦ Early life in Hjalle:

Being born into the noble family Aran, Castor’s early life consisted mostly of being pampered by the attendants and strict education. Cas was a rowdy kid, and with time, lack of affection and validation from her family served to amplify the trait - she went from occasionally disobedient to full-on antagonistic towards her parents, and the nobility as a whole. She began to sneak out; spending her time outside of the Fort, spying on the guards and trying to bribe knights into taking her on as a page.

When Cas turned nine a sibling came into the picture, and she made it her duty to assure Aster’s upbringing would be better than hers. She poured everything she had into Aster, but soon developed a brash and overbearing streak, unyielding in her focus to teach the meek little sister to stand her ground. Aster became torn between Cas and the parents, who in all fairness, treated her much better than their firstborn. This would remain the case until Castor’s dragon-induced injuries.

In her late teens, Cas was seldom seen in the fort - to everyone's great relief. Her mood was always sour, she gave up on her studies and only seemed to care about Aster and joining the hunting parties. Her parents reached their limit when Castor announced she would not become one of the renowned judges of House Aran - this led to an explosive argument, which concluded with Castor storming out. For the following two years, she lived and worked with rangers tasked with protecting and providing for the town.

It was in those years that Cas acquired her battle prowess and scars, the most prominent being a gift from an especially large and angry dragon. A single swipe of its tail tore Castor’s chest and forearm open, forcing the hunting party to rush her to the fort in (what the hunters expected to be) a futile attempt to get her family to provide medical help for their dying kin. The reception was cold indeed, and if it weren’t for Aster’s hysterics and outrage over her family’s indifference, Cas would have not survived the grievous wounds. The upside to this event was a new high tale to impress people with, and strengthening the bond between two sisters. The downside - Castor was now under her parent’s thumb. They made her accept the position of inquisitor; to make up for the hassle she caused them. Taking up the mantle turned Castor’s world upside down - not only would she have to work in close proximity to her father, but her dreams of being knighted were shattered, as inquisitorial duties stand in stark opposition to virtues of knighthood. As Inquisitor she was tasked with investigating and interrogating for the court - the latter, as Aran tradition had it, was extraordinarily bloody.

 ✦ Vesuvia:

Almost as soon as she arrived, the city sparked something in Cas. This was unexpected to say the least; she was certain the years of gruesome work as inquisitor numbed her to simple joys of life. The sights and sounds of Vesuvia however, made her eager to explore and see how everything ticked - and the more she saw the more she wished to remain in the city. After attending the Masquerade and becoming acquainted with Asra, Cas was prepared to do anything to stay - even if it meant sucking up to the Buffoon count and begging for a job. Lucio proved to be anything but opposed - he’d heard of the “bloody good shows” (pun intended) Castor was infamous for, and was eager to take her off her parents hands. This led to working parallel to the count and his court, but also enabled Cas to dabble in magic under Asra’s tutelage.

This slight betterment of Cas’ situation would not last long however, as The Red Plague took complete hold of the city mere months after she took up her residence in Vesuvia. After perishing, and being brought back by Asra, she very slowly regains certain memories and traits - her sister, love of astronomy, sword skills. She sneaks out, snoops, and is a handful overall; but Asra is happy to see Castor’s “new” self free of bitterness and pain.

After this point, the “game events” take place. I like to imagine Castor braving an amalgam of Nadia and Portia routes, with a fistful (or multiple) of courtier drama. Castor is tasked with an investigation, slowly  but surely unravelling how deep the corruption runs in Vesuvia, and how much of it can be attributed to the courtiers. The conclusion of her story focuses on first facing off against the court, then the Justice Arcana.

  ✦ Physical appearance

Light olive skin, she picks up a slight tan in Vesuvia.

Dark gray eyes, striking marbling on the iris.

Long girl - 176 cm tall, loves being the “tall friend” (and manhandling people close to her). Being taller than her is taken as an indirect challenge.

She has a rectangular body type, could be described as a “runner’s body”.

Prominent scarring across right forearm and torso, missing right breast.

Tastefully disheveled. Her hair has a constantly windswept quality, and the gray streaks seem to be especially unruly.

Inherited the “Aran silver” (early graying), she tries to ignore it. “The more you hide it, the more it shows”.

Secretly really bothered by the many similarities to her father. Avoids looking at herself too much, and whenever she does it feels like he’s looking back at her, judging.

Only ever smoothes herself over before important court meetings and social events. She doesn't know how makeup works, so before any party she asks Asra to sort her out. Cas looking prim is both a treat and a source of friendly jabs.

✦ Character traits

Power walking by default. This can be somewhat intimidating, and she won’t stop if someone is in her way - just put them to the side and continue.

Puts up a really convincing pretence of formality and refinement.

In actuality she finds this facade tiresome, and just wants to talk fast about battle/hunting feats or astronomy. Maybe show off her pyromancy.

Loves socializing, it recharges her batteries.

Dilligent worker.

Tends to overwork herself and neglect her relationships.

Often scatter minded and wanting to do too many things at one time.

Doesn’t appreciate people instigating physical contact or getting up in her face. She needs to prepare herself for it, or be the initiator.

Stubborn as a mule. Never knows when to stop pressing people.

Extremely callous at times.

Annoyingly overbearing

Most of this springs from a place of fear - things had a habit of getting worse whenever her family imposed decisions onto her. In her mind, if she’s the one holding the reins, everything will be better. And if something does fail - she will be the only one to blame.

Starting arguments comes much too easily to her, but she’s just as quick to introspect, and seek out the person she argued with to apologize and approach the issue in an appropriate manner.

Forgives easily

Eternally scoffing at astrology. She knows shes being bigoted, but at this point its almost like an inside joke between her and Asra. “Astrology? It's baby stuff. PSEUDOSCIENCE!” (she cries as she worries over her afternoon tarot reading and preparing pretty horoscopes for the Shop...)

A huge hypocrite at times. “Do as I say, not as I do” could easily be her motto.

Both the upright and reversed Knight of Swords card sums her character up perfectly.

✦ Occupation & Residency

Vesuvia:

Beginning of her story follows the game canon almost to a T - Cas lives with Asra in the Shop, and works there. It bores her to death, and she plays tricks on every customer just to entertain herself.

After being officially hired by Nadia as the Palace Magician, Castor moves out of the shop and purchases a modest house in Goldgrave, much below the value of what Nadia offered her, and what she could afford. It’s convenient and that’s what matters to Cas. She continues supplying the shop diligently, and takes over whenever Asra runs off.

Nadia insisted on Castor having an office in the palace. It grew on her with time, and after The Devil is dealt with it becomes her little “hub”.

Hjalle:

Cas lived with her family in the castle site until 17 years old.

After denying her parents their plans for her future as a judge, she hunkered down in a hunting lodge outside of the town, and spent almost two years living that way - she still thinks of these two years as the most joyous time in her life.

The only thing she ever used her family’s wealth for was commissioning the construction of an extravagant observatory. Reminiscent of a gothic fortress, the stark exterior is contrasted with insides filled with artwork and art-nouveau ornaments. The central chamber is a vast library with a powerful telescope in its apse - it is a sight that could take the breath of the most haughty of nobles.

There’s a tiny living space below the main chamber, furnished sparingly, but with a lovely fireplace (in Hjalle, its a necessity). It’s where Cas stays after becoming the inquisitor/whenever she visits after the in-game events.

✦ Trivia

Cas is 23 years old when she first arrives to Vesuvia - 28 at the time of The Devil’s downfall.

She freed Merlin from a merchant’s cage in the Red Market, during one of her outings in the three year interlude after her death - Asra fumes after they find out she snuck out to the market - yet is amazed that Cas found a familiar.

Cas regained her first memories via touching objects linked to her past life - a letter from Aster, articles of clothing, a sword...

This self re-discovering takes a turn for the worse when Cas finally finds a large, ornate knife - the one she inherited after becoming inquisitor. The memories it resurfaces are a staggering blow to Castor, completely derailing the beliefs she had about her own person. She thought of herself as a paragon, and remembering the torture she inflicted upon others, the lives taken in the name of “justice” made her relapse into bitterness and disenchantment. She deals with those feelings as her investigation into the courtiers progresses.

Predominantly uses pyromancy, other types of magic are strictly used for her work at the palace, and rather sparingly.

Could be best described as a battlemage - enjoys being in melee range and assaulting her quarry with both sword and fire; the latter being used more as a way to distract or stagger the enemy than actually harm. There's no fun in just burning them up!

Doesn’t cook for herself, although she has a natural knack for it - will only cook for guests and short people.

Her dislike of Lucio clashes with gratitude for employing her when she first arrived to Vesuvia - he was the knife which cut Cas off from her parents, and it’s something she could never forget.

Demiromatic/sexual.

She was offered to be knighted by Nadia after defeating The Devil. Cas declined - It’s much more than a title to her, and accepting seemed like mockery (considering her past as inquisitor).

Short fuse, she learns to better control herself while working in the palace. But if someone really pushes her the nearby candles miiiight get a bit out of control. Or she’ll just throttle them.

Hates her full name - Castor is such a mouthful. Sounds stuck up too...

[theshipden]

The main 6 finding out Mc is preggers with their child

Asra;

They knew something was up from the very beginning, they’re very in tune with you

When you begin to feel sick, they’re there to take care of you and pamper you, using magic to ease your nausea

when you nervously tell him after an oddly quiet, anxious day it suddenly clicks together why you were so silent

They’re so happy, you’re immediately swept up into their arms and showered in reassurance and kisses

All they wanted was you, to see you again, hear you again, hold and love you- and now they get that and more?

Goes to the realms less, spends majority of his time with you 

Takes over running the shop, but they know you’ll ask him for help if you need it

Nadia and Muriel hear first, then with your permission, he tells the others

Doesn’t smother you but is always within reach, always ready to lend a hand

Practices hot and cold magic to help you with any soreness or hot flashes

Braids your hair and pulls it back when the morning sickness or kicks become too much

His smile is definitely brighter these days, his touch gentler, and sometimes you awake to their hands cradling your swollen belly

Very patient with your needs and cravings, offers space when you need it

Tells you how great of a parent you’re going to be, how lucky he is

Julian;

When you start getting sick in the mornings, he thinks you’re coming down with some kind of cold.

Honestly, you’re too busy caring for him to notice some of the obvious signs your body is telling you

When you’re laying against him and complain about feeling/looking bloated does he bring up the topic nervously, flustered and scared to upset you

You both contemplate it, go into a deep talk far too late at night about it but agree you’re both ready for the next step

After you miss your period and pay closer attention, it’s unmistakable that you’re carrying a child

He drops to his knees so fast, kissing your flat belly and whispering to it

Does the exact same even when you’re rounded and well plump 

He insists on talking to your stomach, puts his hand to your belly during breakfast.

The first kick he feels is sometime in the night when he’s telling your baby a story

He’s never jumped up so fast, the smile and joy on his face was something you’d never forget

Knows best how to curb your nausea, soreness, and any mood swings

Doctors orders, my dear

Nadia;

She doesn’t realize, truthfully, but she does know you’re acting different

Leaving the bed at night, late to breakfast every morning, pale, sweaty, your chest is sore?

Convinces you to get checked by Julian, if not by the palace’s doctors

At first you and Julian keep it a secret, you’ll tell Nadia on your own time, on your own terms in a better way

You tell her everything’s fine, not to worry, but she doesn’t press it and trusts you’ll tell her the truth soon

During a dance for nobles, you rush to the bathrooms and lose your composure at the sink

She frets and coos at you, holds you when you’re done

Embarrassed you cry into the safety of her shoulder and tell her

Wonders why you never mentioned it sooner, asks if you’d want to go to bed early

She sleeps in more after finding out, goes to bed earlier, clears her schedule to see you more in the day

You both have many long and detailed conversations about progressing and what to do

watches you closely, if she’s not there then someone is to aid you, you’re not alone much

asks the kitchen to feed you only the best and most nutritious meals, breakfast in bed happens much more when sitting up yourself is difficult

Tells you you’re beautiful by the piano, playing soft melodies for the two loves of her life

Muriel;

You don’t know it at first, he surely doesn’t either

You know your body well enough, if you’re not worried or too concerned, he won’t be either

Inanna doesn’t want to leave your side, he isn’t too sure why but lets her, it means you’re safer anyhow

You break the news to him over soup by the fireplace, wrapped in blankets, as if discussing weather

nearly chokes, asks you to say that again, absolutely red 

He’ll wonder if he’s even worthy, if he deserves this, if you want this

You bring his hand to your belly and tell him there’s no one else you’d want this to happen with

You have to reassure him a lot, he’s so scared he’ll hurt you or the baby, his strength is horrifying to him

When you need him though, hes there

Rubs your back, feet, helps you sit up, lets you borrow his clothes when your’s no longer fits right anymore

Grows more comfortable the bigger your stomach gets with your reassurance, prepares the house

Pops into the forest a bit more, but never for too long, he doesnt want to leave you by yourself

Sometimes he gets overwhelmed by how beautiful you are, that there’s going to be three in the house now, and sobs

By himself, he’ll curl into you and place his hand over your bump and just breathe

Portia;

Jokes about being pregnant with you a lot at first, you both laugh it off when you miss a period

Those jokes die down when your chest aches, you bloat, get hungrier, feel sick when you wake up

she calls Julian thinking you’re dying or the jokes weren’t just jokes anymore

She finds out the same time you do and she squeals

All over you in a second with hugs and questions and suggestions on everything

Julian sees himself out, congratulating you both before he leaves

She tells the servants right away unable to keep it a secret, so ecstatic about having a baby with you 

Finds cute clothes in the market for both you and the baby, receives gifts from Nadia and friends

Knows exactly how to touch you to make the nausea easier to manage, or the soreness to go away

Works hard at first but the closer you get, she starts to take time off

You can’t get the image out of your head of another redhead in your family, Julian always jokes about them being twins if you have a boy

She’s dotting on you from start to finish, coming home with things to make your pregnancy easier

Asks Julian for lots of tips and anything she should look out for, for you

Favorite place? Head in your lap, arms around your stomach with pepi somewhere nearby

Lucio;

Surprisingly, he can tell something’s different with you

Sure, he’s a little self-centered but not when it comes to you, his tribe had ways of knowing things before they knew of western medicine practices

terrified you might have the plague again, you’re with him after all, and immediately gets doctors to look you over

while the thought did cross his mind before, he really didnt think it possible

him?? becoming a father?? That was too good to be true, no way it could happen, not with someone as great as you

kicks all the doctors out right away, so quick to tell you he’d love to have a baby with you but of course, no pressure. If its not what you want he gets it, respects that

When you tell him you’d love to have a baby, his smile is blinding as he dives for you

Insists on doing everything for you, you’re not lifting a single finger for the next nine months

spoils you, rotten, even when you might ask him not to, he can’t help it

Already a room, cribs, and new wardrobe for you and the baby

Wants nothing but to stay with you, he gets angry if he’s away from you for too long

Pampers you to hell and back, washes your back for you, rubs your feet, room service daily

Sometimes when he’s too far in his head, he’ll ask you again if this is what you really, truly want

Nobody can come close to you, filthy, gremlins, Lucio snaps at everyone

He’ll scream your praises from morning to dusk, you’re so beautiful, has he said that today??

he has??

better say it again

oh, and did he mention how amazing you are?

Because you are and he adores you