#but my problem is that in many aspects these beautiful images do not tell me a story about thedas they just remind me of some other art

[erme-maererme]

this may come off as nitpicky but please. even magic does not look like dragon age magic in veilguard. it's too sci-fi. where are all the dark mysterious ruins with runes and veilfire that make you wonder about what they once were. why am i suddenly removing force fields with lazers. (it came to me suddenly that you also can't tell at all by looking at the ruins in arlathan what these buildings used to be for. because surely it wasn't just to randomly store a chest or a sole bridge-summoning crystal). bellara is also a mechanic and not even a little bit mage now (see all the "tinkering"). and why does minrathous have a speaker system. surely there are ways to depict an oppressive magical state that do not require putting modern technology into your fantasy world. although i see how it may become a problem when you forget what even phylacteries are (you have to destroy lucanis's "blood" instead while breaking him out). and it does look flashy that all the companions have at least some kind of magical abilities and that magic is used creatively, however i'm sorry but thedas is also not that magical. in previous games even when warriors or rogues got special abilities, they were tied to them being unique to the character (eg fenris) and you still could have regular people in your party, most rogues/warriors that you would see fight have been regular people, and this makes the impression of the presence and use of magic in thedas drastically different from the previous games.

somehow the exaggerated design instead of realism has been less jarring for me than this storytelling emptiness of the design in the end. but buildings float now i guess

[deathbydarkelves]

Asking you this on anon, because I'm too nervous to ask otherwise.

Do you think night elves express their sexuality through art? I mean like, Blizzard is obviously not going to give us anything concrete or creative about this sort of thing. Their night elves are eternally monogamous.

But so many cultures in the world, even the ones we like to think of as stoic, or chivalrous, were, and are, incredibly horny lol. Like, there are swathes of surviving manuscripts, pottery, and paintings depicting sex acts. We have examples of this from the Greeks, to Medieval Europe, to Japan.

I'm so sorry, this ask sort of away from me. In short, all of the Warcraft races probably have their unique art forms, and I was just curious if, and how, you would think night elves would express this sort of stuff?

My immediate verbal response upon reading this was “Oh, abso-fucking-lutely”. As you demonstrated with your irl examples, horny is universal <3

You’ll find that indulged in every art form. Paintings, pottery, poetry, carvings, statues, and so on. If people can create an image or use words to describe something, they’re gonna use that power to depict sex. That’s just how it goes lmao

Some more specific thoughts though:

1.) Elven poems and ballads are rivaled in length only by those of the dwarves. And yes, many are sexually-charged in at least some aspect. Sometimes that’s the whole point, sometimes it’s a key plot moment, sometimes it’s a “key” “plot” “moment”, sometimes it’s just for comedic effect.

2.) I recently took a trip to Europe which involved a stop in Vienna, and I had a fantastic time strolling through such a beautiful (walkable!) city with statues of bare-chested women on almost every corner. Both because it was a wonderful feeling being somewhere that didn’t treat my body as taboo, and, well, because I’m lesbian. What can I say. Anyway, I decided almost immediately that’s what it’s like in the bigger night elf cities. The body is a work of nature and Elune’s art, and is something to be celebrated. That goes for all bodies, but there is a general bias towards depictions of female bodies because, well, matriarchal society. Most of the statues in those cities are simply artistic nudity, but it doesn’t take long to find one that goes beyond that. ((btw I highly recommend a visit to Vienna. Get a Sacher-Torte from Café Sacher.))

3.) Tangentially related, but (ethical) brothels are more commonplace and fairly easy to find because of the societal acceptance of polygamy/amory. Casual sex is just not really a taboo, because there’s no pressure to be monogamous. Historical immunity to disease and current resistance to it means there isn’t as much risk involved either. It’s still a dick move if you don’t tell your partner(s), of course.

4.) All of this creates quite the culture shock for those coming from more “conservative” places. No one on Azeroth is catholic about it, but I have a hard time imagining the high and mighty Kingdom of Stormwind being that open about sexuality, for example.

5.) Because of the impression that ^ creates, there's a common joke/stereotype in many other nations that the Sentinel Army has a... hook-up problem. Never mind that's true to some degree for all armies lol

6.) Cathala’s adventuring journal she keeps notes in is also fucking filled with erotic art and writing. A woman’s gotta entertain herself somehow!!!

As a little note, though, there's no weirdness around ace and/or aro people. They're not any hornier than any other group of people, they're just more open about it. So they don't try to, like, force it onto people who happen to not be into that.

Anyway... I'll be the first to admit this is where I lean the hardest into wish fulfillment/escapism with my AU. Oh to live in a world where sex and sexuality and the female body are treated normally V_V

[bungacow]

Everyone Has a Body: Whether You Like It or Not

If you know me, you know that I work in a retail store for older women. If you know what a retail store is, you know that means I sell clothes to older women. If you know what clothes are, you know they're pieces of fabric that go on bodies. If you know older women, you know that most (if not all) older women hate their bodies.

Without exaggeration, the hardest part of my job is watching so many beautiful older women turn away a cute top because it'll show how big their arms are or turn away a skirt because their legs are too veiny. Every day I tell these women that they have nothing to be ashamed of and that if anyone has a problem with the way your body looks then that's a them problem, not a you problem.

It's so disheartening to think that some of these women are near the end of their lives still believing that the shape of their bodies defines them more than their thoughts and feelings. Not to mention the number of women I've had returning clothes because "My husband didn't like it.". That always makes me furious and I can't help but spring an obnoxious rant onto these unsuspecting customers. That makes my coworkers think that I'm some kind of radical feminist (there's really nothing wrong with that of course) but I don't really think that I am. I'm just someone who hates to see women putting other people before themselves when it comes to how they present themself and their self-expression.

I have never in my life looked at someone's body and thought that they'd look better if they covered their arms or hid their legs. I've not once pitied someone after seeing they'd gained weight and I've never thought of losing weight as a universal positive improvement. I've never worried about other people's bodies because I'm too busy worrying about my own. I'm not looking at other people's arm fat because I'm too busy looking at my own. I'm too busy nit-picking every single aspect of myself to ever have time to worry about the way someone else might look.

Body image issues are forced onto young women the moment they're born. I was 10 years old when I first thought about getting plastic surgery to make my waist smaller and my butt bigger. I should've been doing fractions at the dinner table with my dad but instead, I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror wondering why I was so ugly. Why was I so ugly when every other girl in my grade was beautiful? Now I know that I wasn't the only girl in my grade who thought she was the ugly one out.

It's scary to think that this mindset is able to chase women all the way to seniority. I see so many beautiful older women every day and it pains me to know that they all thought they were the ugliest girl in their grade. The scariest part is there is no happy ending to this blog post. There is no conclusion paragraph where I say that everything is getting better and it'll all be fine. Progress is being made and that's amazing, but that progress is for the young and new. The amount of unlearning it takes to achieve full confidence in oneself takes time, time that these women don't have anymore. The best we can do for them now is help them find a cute top that shows off their arms and tell them they look great.

[mldesigngraphics]

Specialist Practice

1:1, feedback, major project and idea changes, New problem, insight and solution.

I had a 1:1 with Emily on Wednesday (8th Nov), i was worrying ab9out the compatibility of my idea and if i could successfully achieve what i wanted to without the wrong impression as well as what time i have left to complete it.

I started my 1:1 with Emily explaining my original idea and telling her where I think it wouldn't work and what i was thinking of changing.

Problems with idea 1:

Creating a skin care brand for this brief might give a different message to consumers than i want to give. Skincare is paired with improving skin and or to cover up imperfections or improve them.

A skin care brand wont delivery the educational aspects i want to correctly as the website may be disregarded.

New Problem, Insight, Soltuion

Problem:

Many young children suffer from poor self esteem and lack of confidence in their skin. This is usually caused from negative comparisons to social media images that are edited and perceive unrealistic beauty standards and expectations. Along with peer bullying and not enough support from adults around them like parents and teachers.

Insight:

"30-50% of teens and young adults suffer from low self-esteem due to skin related issues like acne". Researching into the main reasons of young people's unhappiness within their bodys/skin. looking into the negative effects of social media, comparison culture to models and edited photos on social media, peer pressure and bullying from peers, lack of encouragement and confidence boosting from adults like teachers and parents.

Solution:

To create a campaign/ Pop up workshop to support young people in school, college and university’s to improve their self confidence and self-esteem. The pop-up ‘workshop’ will include group activities, activity’s to educate young people on the use of editing in images on social media that portray unrealistic beauty standards, tips and tricks on how to improve self confidence with daily positive affirmations. This will include a social media presence, a website with more things on offer to support young people and posters that can go up around university’s, schools and colleges to make people aware of the workshops or re-direct them to the website for more information.

Using personal experience for my solution:

Another reason for this solution response is due to personal experience, as a teenager i struggled terribly and still do with mental health and having self confidence because of having acne prone skin, from the ages of 11 to 17 i was teased and bullied for my skin, i wasn't encourages by others often about my skin being okay as it was and to love it, so i would try anything and everything to improve my skin and it started to affect my mental health more and more. i wish i could've had something similar to this where i was encouraged to love my skin and what i looked like at a young age as i feel it definitely would've helped me mentally and helped my confidence.

Next steps:

Design brand assets (logo, brand name, type face colour palette etc)

decide on what illustrative elects i want o add to social media, posters and website.

look at inspiring for poster design and website design/layout

Designs social media posts to promote workshop/ pop-up shop

What will the pop up shops offer and include design things for that, banners, goodie bags and contents.

further research to support choices

[nessie665]

@partymeow hon, I'm so sorry, you were probably expecting a paragraph and not this absolutely bible of a text

Spoilers bellow.

But, answering your question, yes, absolutely, there are lots of good stuff in this adaptation. I'm not very knowledgeable about ballets, but I know I had a blast watching it.

To my untrained eye, don't quote me on this, the choreography was very well done, and the dance was good. Lottie Guidi, who plays the younger Phantom, was the star of the show for me, she communicated the Phantom's emotions to perfection. This is a silent adaptation, but she had no problem saying that she wanted to say.

They have so many cool effects and the Phantom specially – both her younger and older version, that actually interact during the show, that's so cool - has such an amazing way to interact with said effects. Most of them are driven by her emotions, and by scenes relevant to her, which really solidifies both her connection to the opera house -she is in control, the play doesn't let you forget that- and her place as the soul of the show.

One of my favorite scenes, is after the Phantom took Christine as her apprentice, we get this very emotional moment, where she tries to slip intro her ballet shoes again, and is plagued by memories and images of the same fire that took away her face and ballet career as a young woman. All while her younger version is observing from above.

This adaptation is big on the theme of failed dreams, and a beautiful way to show this is that this younger ballerina that later became the Phantom never vanishes from the stage for too long. She is always there, haunting, just watching, as the life of this older woman - her life. - falls apart, and it's tragic.

This is a Phantom driven adaption, this is about her, think Y&K for comparison, which leads to the writing aspect

I did not find the writing very compelling. Again, is all about the Phantom, but the balance is very off. Christine has very little depth, we know very little of her, and the rest of the characters are basically just cardboard cutouts labeled as ''Carlotta'' ''Raoul'' etc. incredibly one dimensional.

Christine is written as selfish, shallow and even manipulative, and it pains me to no end. She is a phantom girly in this, rejecting Raoul's proposal in favor of her teacher, but had little to no problem running back to him once the Phantom did no longer fit the fantasy ideal Christine had of her. She uses both her love interests, and it's unfair to all of them.

This Christine has this almost apathy, that's not like her. She is truly unrecognizable as Christine Daaé, another example being her participation in one of the most cruel unmasking scenes I have seen.

The ending is well, I think you can imagine it, the difference is that it almost felt like it was redeeming Christine instead of the Phantom, which, that doesn't sound right, does it? I wasn't really satisfied, it just didn't do a very good job of tying the ends together.

So, in conclusion, beautiful but incredibly flawed, which you can say of pretty much every phantom adaptation. Christine is my favorite character, so I have a harder time trying to enjoy this play because of the way she is written, but it has enough redeeming qualities lesbian phantom for me to gladly watch it again.

Overall, a great way to spend 4 bucks, and you get to support a small theater, so if you are thinking about it, I'm telling to go for it.

So, I just finished Synetic phantom (Spoiler warning) my thought are still all spinning around my heat too hard for me to being able to write some cohesive down, but first things first, the butchered Christine so bad. I said the words ''she wouldn't fucking do that'' dozens times, they did my girl SO dirty. Compassion and strength are the core of Christine Daaé, and this evil impostor has nothing of it. I'm speechless of how can you get a character so wrong, it would be impressive if it wasn't so awful.

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

Astrological Hidden Gems

Disclaimer: This won't apply to everyone, astro police plz chill. Just have fun and vibe bitches, and if you don't relate that's totally fine just don't be rude. Comment your experiences down below 👇

Vedic Nakshatra Observations:

Idk much about vedic but I've learnt a little about some nakshatras, bear with me there will be more next time.

🪐 Anuradha Moons & Mercury's can see the dead, they are often familiar with paranormal experiences occuring because being the nakshatra of friendship, gateways, and unity. It's in Scorpio debilitated, which creates a spiritual unity with spirits and occult giving them clear intuition and many otherworldly experiences. They can most likely communicate with ghosts.

🌌 Chitra can be very critical and harsh, more so than most nakshatras. They are ruled by the tiger and are associated with jewels and royalty so their expectations are extremely high. They are the type to call you on your bullshit in front of whoever to assert social dominance in a strategic way. They could have participated in bullying or get into scandals involving their attitude. It's important for them to keep their image though so you won't often see them act out. The OG mean girl nakshatra in my opinion.

Tropical Astrology:

🕊 Scorpio moons aren't the nicest people tbh, in fact most often they're known for being rude or belittling people without even being aware of it. They are ruled by pluto the god of the underworld and traditionally mars the god of war. Putting two and two together you shouldn't expect this water moon sign to be nurturing and caring and that's why the moon falls in scorpio. However, they do care extremely deeply but instead of comforting you they will tell the honest hard truth from their perspective and will think they're always right even when they're not. They can become overly controlling this way and obssess over all your problems for you so set some boundaries. Their advice isn't for everyone.

🌌 I do have to say though, every scorpio moon I've met no matter how many layers or how matured they are. Everytime I've witnessed someone run to them for comfort and tell them personal problems, the scorpio moon will hold this over them as blackmail later or gossip about it to their other close friends. As much as they're secretive with themselves, they sure as hell won't be with you because being ruled by pluto and mars they crave power and feel unsafe if they can't maintain power over others. Therefore, the whole scorpio is so loyal stereotype isn't always true. They can often pose as the opposite sorry.

🪐 Fuckboy aspects are Mars - Jupiter. Every single time I've read a sexually active almost sex addictive with some commitment issues chart. Its always had this aspect, in greek mythology jupiter is associated with zeus and that man got every bitch pregnant like the earth was dying or sum💀 he was horny as hell, polyamourus as hell, and literally couldn't keep his dick out of anything. So honestly in combination with venus or mars aspects, 5th & 8th house jupiter, and jupiter dominant charts. You are looking at a sex addict my friend.

💗 The 4th and 10th house are associated with household names and royalty. Most of the british royals have major 4th & 10th house placements like king charles, queen elizabeth, kate middleton, and so on. Your 4th house is your legacy and household name, and your 10th house rules over what you achieved in this life, and the power you achieve and use over the public. Having planets such as venus in the 4th or 10th house means you are the standard for beauty and could hold power over others with it or in your workplace peoples looks hold authority over you. Celebrities considered the most beautiful will often have their venus in the 4th house.

💡Afflicted 4th - 10th house axis like: Aries in 4th - Libra in 10th, Scorpio in 4th - Taurus in 10th, and Capricorn in 4th - Cancer in 10th denotes the responsibility of building your worth up through the value of you work. This is because no one valued you from birth, these I.C's never experienced encouragement or help from their family, instead most of the time their family was their enemy and they grew with these troubles into adulthood. People with afflicted 4th houses know they don't have anything, their own personal power is stripped from them at birth so they have to gain value from others and power in their career. This is why a lot of afflicted midheavens tend to be famous but come from awful backgrounds or have horrible mental health problems. However, they tend to value people much more strongly, they just to have a dark past and work from the dirt up. Their insecurities most often push them away from achieving their dreams sadly, but once they gain their own self worth you will see them flourish.

🌲 People can bring up the argument that these I.C's could be born into powerful rich families, especially Scorpio & Capricorn I.C's but as kids they still were never valued, only their money and reputation was. Overall, poor or rich the afflicted I.C 's - M.C's axis path in life is to find their own value through their work and gain personal power after. While the Benefic I.C - M.C axis use their own personal power they found through loved ones early on to give value to the work they do.

💗 Pisces are the most manipulative sign, neptune literallycreates illusions so they have the ability to create any confusion or misunderstandingthat will go unnoticed. Most of the time they are unaware they have this power but pisces is related to the higher realm and spiritual power so often times they just seem to KNOW everything about you even if you've never said anything before. They can sense it all unknowingly.

🌌 Scorpio risings are oddly chill and their presence isn't really felt unless they have pluto or mars their chart rulers in the 1st & 10th house. Other than that they're the misunderstood quiet kids with a rbf who are unexpectedly so accepting but you think they're judging the hell outta you lmao

💡 Scorpio risings also tend to be a bit paranoid and overthink everything, being ruled by the water element and mars they're sensitive to any change in their environment and quick to react. The only difference is their reaction is internalized by the water element so they may not lose their cool easily but you can seem them easily annoyed by even the smallest of things. Their habit of overthinking everything can also make them assume the worst in people but they just need to evaluate people before getting close, not the type to chat you up before staring you down.

I actually love Scorpio risings, don't take that the wrong way just explaining their behavior I've noticed

🌲 But those with Pluto in the 1st house- wow their presence most definitely CAN be felt once they decide to speak up. They go unnoticed until they decide to show themselves, then all of a sudden an entire classroom will be sucked into their words as they speak, it's almost hypnotizing like a snake.

🌌 Virgo risings make quick judgements on people but aren't the type to nag, more so secretly set things up for you in advance like appointments, reminders,even your morning coffee. They just know because they can feel the slight changes in you as virgo is associated with health and the body. They're pretty intuitive too just in a physical sense, the type to always get gut feelings about people. You can't play them period, those hard to get mf's lmao

🪐 The most underrated beauty indicator imo are virgo risings and virgo venuses. Virgo risings are the runway models and look nothing like how we stereotype them. They usually have slick thin straight hair, big eyes, and HIGH cheekbones. Their faces are sculpt to perfection in a heavenly angel sense while pisces risings look like dolls and capricorn risings look more intimidating and defined. But seriously virgo rising women are stunning and it's a common placement in models. They also have pouty lips?

🕊 Virgo venuses are gorgeous too but in a girl next door vibe. They are oddly mischievous sometimes which is unexpected but so witty and caring. I kinda hate how to astro community describes them as moms in every single post because I haven't met one virgo placement that actually nags and criticizes people lmao? Virgos are so socially aware they won't do anything that makes them look bad even if they're tempted. But they will try to do everything in their power to help you, they're more action oriented than people think it's just behind the scenes.

💗 Virgo venuses tho will act like they hate you if they have a crush on you and try to get involved in your life or anything you're working on, that's the secret code. They love hiding for some reason, they're just scared to let you see their flaws so they hate having crushes. If you want them to like you, just be funny and talk to them they love funny people because they're ruled by mercury and it stimulates them. Literally say the dumbest funniest shit and they will laugh their ass off, they won't criticize you yet

🌌 Leo risings aren't arrogant or confident, in fact they're the most insecure rising sign I've come across and its because the rising sign shows Leo's ego and heart on display to the public, if they feel as if they're lacking they will overcompensate and try to fake arrogance. They vakue compliments and genuinely kind people so much due to how delicate their public image is and how they feel on the inside, but this is why they always seem to be the best hype people. They just get others insecurities from feeling their own and know how people feel (leo rules over the heart)

🌲 Imo Leos are more individualistic than Aquarius from what I've seen. All fire risings have "I'm different & special" syndrome istg, their need for validation and to be liked IS REAL. If you wanna insult a fire rising especially leo just call them mid, they can't handle it and find it more offensive than cursing at them.

🪐 Aquarius placements believe no one is special because humans are all equal so they are able to dissociate from their egos. This is why they often seem unbothered, cold and sometimes mean. They just didn't grow up with parents who valued their differences and often blend into the community

💡 Uranus doms on the other hand...are like shocwaves, they are the definition of "I'm different" but because they're outcasted so often from being viewed as weird even though they're always 10 steps ahead. But their shocking factor isn't for everyone and they often cause disruptions and accidents without meaning too, it's just their presence and effect ya know. They're seriously hilarious tho

💗 Libra moons aren't people pleasers, they like to start conflict behind the scenes. They just call themselves people pleasers but like to start drama and pin it on someone else...hahaha they can be evil little shits. Their emotions do seem to depend on how much people like them tho, if aomeone dislikes them they will be SO upset because they view it as unfair judgment casted onto them.

🪐 Real talk - Cancer rising women don't get enough credit, they have the same charisma as Leo risings just in a more feminine approachable manner. People find them sooo easy to talk and rant to. They can gain the trust of anyone and have THE BIGGEST eyes ever omg. Girls in particular love being friends with them while guys seem to obsess over them a lottt like a lot. They can attract stalkers just because their moon energy pulls people in it seems and magnetizes them. People become emotionally attached to cancer risings its concerning actually.

🌲 The 8th house shows your DNA regenerated as this is the house of regeneration and blood, so look at your 8th house if you're curious about your future children. The 5th house has to do with YOUR personal childhood and how children perceive you, the 4th house will be your home environment, your moon sign and house placement will indicate how you act as a mom and the home environment you seek to create.

🌌 As someone who had been offered to be in a polyamourus relationship with a girl even though I've never dated before, I have uranus conjunct my descendant in aquarius exactly. I've had more lgtbq+ experience in romance than hetero and I think most with uranus in the 5th, 7th & conjunct venus, ascendant or descendant will relate. I just feel comfier in that environment tbh guys scare me LMAOO

That's all for today, this post was long due and I have a true crime post coming up next cheers 🥂

[3liza]

talking about flters and real beauty vs fake beauty and cultural standards etc always makes me think about all the victorian and edwardian novels i read, where the things that people thought about beauty were recorded at length. recently ive been reading a lot of Thomas Hardy (best known for Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Jude the Obscure) and there’s so much discussion of the beauty of people, particularly love interests, both men and women. and these writers, and their eras, and the culture of the eras, was of course obsessed with beauty and youth and also artificial beauty (being the eras of the really transformative corsets, not to mention some of the earliest industrialized or modernized beauty products or processes), as all human societies are to a greater or lesser extent in their own ways, but the thing that sticks out to me in reading these books is how beauty is not the singular or even the most important aspect of a person’s overall attraction. if someone has a beautiful face or figure, it is mentioned, but never to the obsessive, fixated extent that physical beauty is isolated from and elevated over all other features in modern american/western culture. there are plenty of protagonists or love interests in these books who are described as not young, or not remarkable, or not pretty, or even ugly or frightening, but nevertheless compellingly sexy and attractive, or simply interesting, or worthy in some way. 

its weird that the cultural consciousness has become seemingly ignorant of non-physical attraction. like that anon that was in my inbox talking about how they were “normal looking’ and therefore “needed” filters in order to “compete” with attractive people. it’s a weirdly mercenary and capitalist view of the social economy, first of all, which absolutely is not zero-sum no matter how badly the social networks want to convince us that it is. but there was never a single mention from that person about their ability to charm or entertain or attract using anything except a fake photo of themselves. wild. im fuckin worried about them! im worried about every young person how has brain worms

when i was about 4 and starting to become aware of how much adults were obsessed with my appearance because i was dainty and blonde and could do a passable shirley temple imitation, my parents gave me a very serious lecture about what physical beauty actually meant: i didn’t work for it (yet, i mean i do a lot of work now as an adult), it was given to me genetically. and someday, maybe sooner or more suddenly than anyone could predict, it would be gone. if accident, illness, or hardship didnt get me, old age eventually would. so with that being a certainty, i had better build a life and a personality on something other than my looks. and i said, ok. every day i get older im more grateful for that advice and the fact i decided to take it to heart instead of trying to gamble on Being Hot for long enough to get job security. which is also a valid career choice but it’s a risky one. always better to have a fallback just in case.

im of an age rn where a lot of women in my peer group are starting to get a very hunted vibe about the impending end of their youth, which is valid. theres nothing foolish about it, its not their fault, theyre not stupid or somehow lacking because this is an issue in their lives. but im noticing that i am significantly less freaked out by, idk, how long ago the 90s were or whatever, because i have been expecting to get old since i was in kindergarten. and i had adults around me who were just like “hey this is what old people look like and what bodies do over time. its not a big deal. everything on tv is fake btw”. i didnt get out unscathed, ive had eating disorders and all sort of weird brain-body problems. 

my advice i guess if i have any is to go outside and really look around you. notice how almost every single woman, and most men, has at least some cellulite, even if its just when theyre sitting down or whatever. notice how everyone has blemishes and zits. most people have some dandruff. if someone is wearing makeup, it’ll be cakey or balled up or smeared or uneven or clumpy even if it’s just a bit. everyone over the age of about 20 will have stretch marks somewhere, even if they aren’t visible except in certain light. i was under the impression i didnt have many until one time seeing a picture of my butt in FULL natural light and finally saw the entire surface of both cheeks was covered in straitions, they just were hard to see most of the time because im the color of drywall and scars tend to be light. it’s really easy to spot hair extensions and wigs and fake nails and fake tans and shapewear once you figure out how to see it. and none of these things take away from someone’s character. 

there’s a strong argument to be made that when corsetry was the norm, no woman was expected to simply be the shape of the corset unless she was actually wearing it. photographs and drawings of women in the 19th and early 20th century were retouched a bit as all photos have been, yes, but they were not retouched to make naked women appear to be corset-shaped. THAT is new. people are now getting surgery to be corset-shaped. and like, i dont think anyone should not be able to look however they want if they want to have that surgery. that is one meaning of cyborg feminism, probably. what i dont want, is for anyone to ever think that’s a normal way to look (except for veryvery tiny mathematical outliers, the Barbie Hips Georg of instagram) WITHOUT surgery or shapewear. which i see a lot now. i saw an instagram fashion designer with a very obviously surgically-altered body answer a question in her inbox about how she maintained her figure with some nonsense about diet and exercise. so now some (probably young) person out there is thinking that if they just do intermittent fasting enough, theyll look like a woman with butt and boob implants, a BBL, fillers, etc. that person probably thinks that if they arent able to diet and exercise good enough, they will fail at looking that way through their own laziness and lack of work ethic or whatever. i see that mindset constantly, especially in young women.

the surgery isnt the issue. the look itself isnt the issue. the filters themselves arent the issue. the issue is that on none of these images, is there an indication of what has been changed or how. the brain damage effect of filters would be lessened, i think, if everyone KNEW which images had been altered and how. so maybe thats the answer? mandatory labeling? i dont know. what’s terrifying is that the average adult human in america cant tell from a glance what has been altered in a photograph, no matter how clumsily, because they simply dont have a template for what a real human looks like anymore. the false images have supplanted the real images, the actual memories of alive humans that you know and have met or lived with. 

if you go into any of the shittier men’s spaces online you will find threads for posting pictures of “beautiful girls”, and it is page after page after page of teenagers in full makeup, hair extensions or wigs, circle lenses, facetuned, bodytuned, surgery, etc, and then hundreds of men yearning and fanning themselves over her “natural beauty”. dont go looking for this stuff, it will permanently fuck you up to know what a basic guy on the bus is thinking about women every day. dont do it

but i also seriously predict a backlash into “natural” looks after this current madness, similarly to how the 1960s saw the rise of the hippie girl with swingin titties, pit hair and no high heels after the consumer beauty madness of the 50s. of course the 60s beauty ideals were in some ways just as fake, but there was some authentic yearning towards a freedom from capitalist bodies as well. so when that happens send me $20: paypal.me/3liza. should be in like the next 4 years or so. thanks

[flickeringart]

Minor aspects

While the nature of the major aspects in astrology is quite straightforward and has been covered more than sufficiently, there’s still a lot of fog surrounding the nature of the minor ones. There are a lot of minor aspects that can be taken into consideration when interpreting a chart… however, since they are labeled minor they won’t be as obvious and much more difficult to spot in one’s own life. Note that this doesn't mean that they aren't impactful. There’s a lot of speculation and vague terms used when describing them. It seems that every minor aspect is said to have a “spiritual/creative dimension” as if that is supposed to clear up any of the mystery surrounding them. Perhaps, on one level, we don’t want to pin them down too much because certainty is the enemy of exploration. Or perhaps it’s the case that the aspects themselves don’t want to be pinned down? There’s an appeal in keeping certain things mysterious in our lives, to avoid defining and putting rigid labels on phenomena. It makes life alive and beautiful. Many people dismiss astrology is because they are afraid that they’re going to be reduced to a set of characteristics and have their personality mapped up to the point of being able to predict and foresee patterns of behavior and fated themes. The fear of knowledge is not irrational; it is probably healthy to an extent. Knowing too much can be dangerous and rob life of its magic. “Curiosity killed the cat”, as the saying goes. However, this is not the whole truth because curiosity also leads to expansion and better understanding, so let’s not be afraid to concretize these aspects, it's not the same as "killing" their potential. Life is never completely in our hands anyway, there's no risk of knowing it all.

Quintile (72°)/Bi-quintile (144°)

These aspects are said to have something to do with individual style and quality of creative work. It is suggested that these aspects say something about a mental-creative process of imposing one’s mind on a particular subject. It is also linked to talent and gifts the individual would possess that have not been actively learned. Basically, it seems to be indicative of the particular way a person would approach a subject. For example, the quintile would not describe the activity itself - the activity could be painting, knitting, running, cleaning or whatever – the quintile/bi-quintile would point to the way the person approaches the activity.

For example, Ted Bundy (whose chart I’ve explored a bit here), has Neptune bi-quintile the MC. Neptune, being the planet of illusion hints to Bundy’s quality of being a chameleon, deceiving the public as part of his personal style.

Prince Harry, (whose chart I’ve touched upon before), has his Moon bi-quintile Neptune. The Moon can be indicative of the mother figure, and his mother Princess Diana certainly had an elusive style and charm that was a bit deceptive and seductive. Of course, he would have the same thing going in his own life but it would perhaps be difficult for us to spot. He also has Moon quintile Venus and he definitely has a style/quality of emotional-physical comfort. He has Pluto quintile the AC, which would point to a style of showing up in the world that is powerful and intense. He has a tendency to come off as destructive and chaotic at times. There’s also a quintile aspect forming between Mercury in the 8th house and the MC which would hint to a public image that is colored by the “taboo” things he has said about his family in the recent present, but also in the past. He’s a public image that is aligning with the style of the playful amoral trickster.

As I’m going with charts I’ve already explored, let’s look at the quintiles in Meghan Markle’s chart. Her Venus is quintile Uranus and it perfectly describes her style of “wokeism”, that is, appearing to be objective and intelligent about feelings and affective values. She has a style of being “the loving humanitarian”. Whether she is this way in an actual sense is debatable. The quintile aspect is describing the quality and style not the actuality. But, it is disturbingly close to reality that it somehow becomes reality. It’s like the actor who adopts another energy signature in order to portray a different person. It doesn’t really matter if a person is rotten at the core - if he has a loving way of being, what difference does it make? The style is real enough to not reflect and give the impression of love.

Semi-square (45°) / Sesquiquadrate (135°)

These aspects are said to precipitate events. The nature of these two aspects is more immediate than the square aspect (which causes tension and doubt and needs constant navigation). The conflict represented is usually unconscious and is therefore not easy to identify. However, as these conflicts tend to manifest quite abruptly, we can take a look at the concrete problems the person faces. The planets connected by a semi-square/sesquiquadrate aspect will be in conflict but force some kind of release (that may result in an accident because of it’s autonomous/unconscious function).

I have Saturn sesquiquadrate my Moon. Since I tend to unconsciously block my emotional responses, the pressure builds and I am “forced” to get out of a situation, “forced to listen to my emotions”. I have encountered the theory that the sesquiquadrate in particular is manifesting as something that is looked down upon societally. This would make sense considering the aspect forces a breakout of one of the planets and nothing that is immediate and abrupt is ever favorably looked upon when it comes to social-societal structure and predictability. I have been meaning to take on commitments that would further my status in society in terms of formal education (Saturn in the 9th conjunct the MC) but I have not been able to do it without considerable decline in my emotional well-being. So, I have been “thrown out” by unconscious forces every time I’ve tried.

My sister has her Venus sesquiquadrate Saturn. She’s known for her deliberate and strategic way of dressing. She plans her outfits carefully, there’s nothing haphazard about the way she presents herself. However, she has Lilith conjunct Venus so she can push the limits and simply do what she pleases sometimes as well when the pressure of Saturn becomes too much. But, this often causes external judgment. A relative of mine has her Sun semi-square Venus. I can tell that she’s highly aware of her appearance. She is very pretty but there’s always something that is a bit off between what she wears and her self-expression. It’s like it doesn’t quite fit and it’s irritating.

To get back to the celebrities, Meghan Markle has Neptune sesquiquadrate Mercury. Is it possible that this forces distortion and vagueness in opinion and communication? It would certainly fit the bill. She also has Uranus sesquiquadrate Mars. She simply has to “break out of her confining situations”, cut people out of her life and move on in her own way. Uranus is also sesquiquadrate her MC, which seems to point to her unconscious pull to “do what she wants to do” at the detriment of her public image and reputation. Notably, Uranus sits in her 5th house of personal enjoyment and creation.

Prince Harry has a semi-square between Mars and Pluto. When he is angry it blossoms into rage and he can’t see straight. It has gotten him into quite a lot of trouble and societal-social disapproval. It seems that this is a common theme with the sesquiquadrate and semi-square. He also has his Moon sesquiquadrate Jupiter. Isn’t it the case that he tends to indulge in a way that makes him look bad in society?

Quincunx (150°)

This aspect is typically found between planets incompatible by element and mode. Basically, they have nothing in common and have a hard time cooperating, which will cause minor stress in the individual because of necessity to work around the incompatibilities. The planets are not in direct conflict but they are uncomfortable with each other.

For example, I have my Moon quincunx Mercury. Every time I sit down to write I’m mildly disturbed by little things like an aching back, a headache, restless legs or whatever. It’s not very comfortable for me but I can still keep with it, however it might take a toll on me health wise. The quincunx has been related to health issues because of the mild stress that it causes. It is manageable and one is usually able to cope with the stress, but it’s not very pleasant. Because it is not as demanding as more disturbing conflicts in one’s life, it’s in the background causing irritation.

Meghan Markle’s Venus makes a quincunx aspect to her MC. This suggests that she has a hard time reflecting her value on a public level, it’s as if how she’s perceived publicly disturbs her sense of ease and comfort. She has an Aries MC with a Virgo Venus and she’s continuously depicted as a bully these days, as some kind a selfish and aggressive bitch (the more negative attributes of Aries). This must be undermining her self-worth immensely, however, it’s perhaps too minor of a problem to do anything about. It is still there nonetheless, harping on in the background, breaking her down and causing slow disintegration…

Semi-sextile (30°)

Planets forming semi-sextile aspects are said to be able to aid each other, to have a better connection than if they had no link at all. Usually one planet is in the sign that comes before the sign of the other; in other words, a semi-sextile might be forming between Mars in Aries and Venus in Taurus. The semi-sextile usually connects consecutive sign like this, but planets could be in semi-sextile in the same sign, like Mars in 0° Taurus semi-sextile Venus in 30° Taurus. In any case, the planet placed at an earlier degree or in the earlier sign can draw on qualities of the planet in the later degree or the later sign and vice versa. For example, Prince Harry’s Venus in Libra is semi-sextile his MC. He can draw on his sense of harmony a diplomacy to benefit his public image. His Mars in Sagittarius is also semi-sextile his MC, which makes it so that he can draw from his Martial qualities of energy and action to influence his career and success.

Parallel/Contra-parallel

These are called aspects in declination because they are measured by latitude and not by longitude. This essentially means that two planetary bodies can aspect each other in a certain way measuring the distance between them north-south of the celestial equator. Two planets at the same degree north and south of the equator form a parallel aspect and can be interpreted the same as a conjunction (some say that it's more obscure like a quincunx/semi-square). Two planets opposite each other north and south form a contra-parallel aspect and can be interpreted as an opposition (some say that it's basically the same as the parallel though).

I have found, looking at my own chart that these aspects only confirms already existing aspects measured by longitude or it confirms the sign that a specific angle is in. For example, my MC is in Aries and it is also parallel Mars. Mars is the ruler of Aries so it emphasizes my already martial MC. My Sun is conjunct Saturn and it’s also parallel Saturn. My sister has a Scorpio MC and it’s also parallel Pluto, the natural ruler of Scorpio. For example, my sister has a wide Moon-Mars conjunction (6°) but they are also in contra-parallel. How is this supposed to be interpreted? I would simply see it as Moon-Mars is connected strongly despite the orb being a little wide with the conjunction.

However, it’s not always the case that parallel and contra-parallel aspects only confirms already existing influences. They can also add themes and connections. My sister doesn’t have any longitude aspects between Saturn and Uranus but they are contra-parallel to each other.

Septile (51.43° - a 1/7 of the 360°)

It is said to indicate a hidden flow of energy between the planets involved, an inner sensitivity to the spiritual dimension of the planets. Another description I have come across is that the planets “darkly interact” and there’s an occult theme surrounding the connection.

I have Venus septile Jupiter in my own chart. Going by the said method of interpretation, it would mean that I have sensitivity to the hidden wealth and underlying beauty and abundance in life. I think it is quite accurate.

Novile (40° - 1/9 of the 360°)

Is said to be describing a contact of perfection/idealization. It also seems to have something to do with spiritual awakening and growth, lack of fear and freedom.

Having Sun novile Saturn for example could be interpreted as a feeling of communion with the world and life itself through responsibility and the control one can exercise through self-expression.

----

There are of course other minor aspects to explore, but I'll stop here for now.

[zarnzarn]

Stolitz fic rec!!

||

I'm going to just drop my favorite stolitz fics here.

They run at night by @wearemisfortune

Blitzo is always moving because when his body stops, his mind races. This almost always leads to a terrible fucking idea.

Tonight is no different—but the result will be.

-lovely angst, lovely climax, and it captures Blitz's line of thinking in a serious tone but in a way still feels authentic to the character. And I'm ALWAYS a sucker for the sheer unconditional trust trope.

Junctures by @sluttycrimehat

To everything, there is a season.

-I still am in complete awe of how the author managed to fit so much in such little time. The bit at the end always fucking gets me, I love it so MUCH.

The last general by @curtailed

It's in a month after, with Stolas spent and lying on his side, that Blitzo finally musters up the courage to tell him.

-Hello??? BEAUTIFUL post-harvest moon fic, wonderful vibes, love how well they know each other in this one, the trust is amazing. Love it.

You got everything that I want by @bipridemoth

Stolas can’t recall a time where “love” wasn’t synonymous with “pain” for him.

With Blitzo, it’s not love. So, there’s no pain. Stolas doesn’t let there be pain, at least not emotionally, the physical pain is something he quite enjoys. When Blitzo leaves after their monthly night together, he doesn’t allow himself to feel pain, only anticipation of the next time. He likes that there’s always a next time, even though that’s because of his active incentive more than anything else. But that’s alright, he doesn’t want Blitzo to come see him without an incentive. He deserves favors in turn for what he’s giving Stolas.

-Stolas angst!!!! The angst really is delicious in this one, with just as nice of a happy ending. Blitz is confident about the relationship, which is Wonderful to read and the "I know where this is going" segment had me in TEARS.

Between fairy tales and realities by @coloringthegreyscale

Blitzo's a complicated imp and Striker and Stolas accept that. But what happens when the two worlds he's made for himself collide together for one night? Well...

-Okay, so yes, this is striker/blitz/stolas, but it's so good. All three of them have a lovely dynamic, managing to work out somehow, with powerful Stolas, wonderful Blitz and a HILARIOUS Striker. Go read the series, it's a lot of fun and has many cute interactions that made me smile.

The look by @seireileafy

Blitz has been noticing a change in Stolas.

-It's such a CUTE drabble, I adore when one person can tell the other is pining for them, and the LAST LINE FUCKING GETS ME EVERY TIME-

Instead I made my bed with apathy by @thebooklord15

Just like every night before this one, Blitzo glared at the form next to him, already lulled into the bliss of slumber. He had never meant for things to turn out this way-he’d gotten the grimoire already, he didn’t need this man and from the way Stolas treated him it was clear he did not need the imp either.

And yet.

-Jcjdkafj this one is so GOOD I love blitz being pissed off yet too deep in to stop, and like I've said for others already THAT LAST LINE, PLEASE-

Call and response by anon

It was a love story, maybe.

-short but deliciously angsty, with some beautiful imagery, really nice dialogue, and time-doesn't-exist-in-this-motel-room vibes. Love it.

Shovel proof by @kereea

Octavia tries to give Blitzo the shovel talk. He decides to help with that.

-FUCKING cute, love the Octavia/Blitz dynamic, and it has snappy fun dialogue!! Really sweet.

Reaching out, touching me, touching you by @allmightshipserasermic

Stolas hasn’t been able to preen sufficiently in quite awhile, since Stella refuses to do it for him anymore. Blitzo offers to help.

-PREENING FIC is there anything more I have to say?

The skin you could have by @coloringthegreyscale

Stolas catches Blitzo staring and it leads to some talk, some magic, and a little bit of fun.

-Again, BEAUTIFUL dynamic between the two, lots of angsty tenderness, and lovely body imagery.

Different shapes by @sirdust

“Before the exorcist, he taketh the image and shape of a man.”

Blitz catches a glimpse of Stolas’ human form.

-okay, practically a direct opposite of the previous fic, but SO GOOD, I can't describe it. Love the imagery and their comfortable relationship.

A helluva mess by @stratumgermanitivum

It’s not like Stolas isn’t a hot piece of ass, because he is.

And it’s not like Blitzo’s blind or anything, because he isn’t.

It’s just that there’s pleasure, and then there’s business, and never the twain shall meet. (Unless he finally gets Moxx on board with that threeway, in which case, Blitzo fully intends to christen every damn surface of the office except his precious Loony’s desk.)

-AMAZING, love the pining and denial on both sides it's so great especially since you can tell both sides know that they've messed up. Again, LAST LINE!!

Eat the whole cake (it's what you deserve) by @okoyik

"His Highness is on the phone for you, sir," Moxxie says.

Blitzo makes a face. "Who?"

"Stolas," Moxxie supplies, as if that's supposed to help Blitzo understand. His expression is surely one of complete confusion as he stares at the other imp.

"Who the fuck is Stolas?" Blitzo asks slowly, racking his brain for a face to put to the name.

-

Blitzo's memory starts to slip, and all he knows is he needs that owl that seems to haunt his nightmares to stay away.

-HELLO it's only on one out of four chapters for now but it's already SO GOOD I can't WAIT for the rest!!!

Stand tall, but your hands are shaking by @remymorton

It’s been a month since the Harvest Moon festival. Another full moon night arrived, and after that... Blitz ... He's not well.

-wordless cute comfort, truly very sweet, I love it.

Palaces and souvenirs by @cloudysonder

So Stolas is objectively. Objectively. Attractive. Kinda soft-looking, sometimes. Pretty. Whatever. Fuckin’ whatever. That’s always been a thing. Blitzo knew that, Stolas definitely knew that-- whatever.

"This is not," Blitzo thinks, sounding a little bit desperate even to himself, "some sort of revelation."

His flicks of the lighter get a little more unstable, a little more frustrated.

A clawed hand reaches over and takes hold of the lighter, lighting Blitzo’s cigarette with practiced ease, as if he’d done the same thing a thousand times before (He has, Blitzo realizes).

“Silly Blitzy,” he giggles quietly, giving Blitzo a soft pat on the head before curling up beside him, stretching one last time before closing his eyes to sleep.

Blitzo feels warm.

"This," Blitzo tells himself, and it sounds like a command, "will not be a problem."

-I saw the start of this fic on Twitter and have been following it religiously ever since. It's really a gorgeous fic, three chapters up, with the promise of a Great slow burn, fun dialogue and Octavia & Blitz bonding. The level of denial Blitz is in even as he moves comfortably around every aspect of Stolas' life cracks me tf up.

Can't by @hazbincalifornia

Blitzo realizes he feels something something that he doesn't want to feel. This was supposed to be simple.

-feelings realization fic, wonderful, amazing, lovely, also the exact same way I realized I was gay, funnily enough (girl fell asleep in my lap and I was like oh. Oh fuck.)

Too late to stop by @malkaviancake

Stolas spends some time with his thoughts, realizing that his feelings for Blitzo aren't as one sided as he presumed.

-GORGEOUS vocab, I'm truly very obsessed with it. Like most of these stories, LAST LINE!!!!

Itchy with want, thin on sleep by me

It happens in parts- both falling in love and having his eyes opened.

-I will,, finish this one day, but for now here's a few in between moments before they have The Conversation.

Heaven in hiding by me

Their nights together are good, they always are, both of their tastes lining up to be shockingly compatible, but on the days where they end early and they get to spend some extra time cleaning up in comfortable silence or playful banter- and Blitz would rather take a bullet than admit this out loud- but those nights are pretty great too.

-AFTERCARE FIC, I had to write an aftercare fic ft. Good dom Blitz, Stolas taking care of him in return and a comfortable relationship that they both know is going to cause Problems in the future :)

Love in the bones and sinews of this curse by me

Five times Stolas and Blitz needed the grimoire to break a curse + one time they didn't.

-self explanatory. I tried to make it as funny as possible, everyone bickers a lot and Blitz brings Stolas flowers and gifts, what more could you need?

Life is a curse (love makes it worse) by me

"Alright!" Blitz says, clapping his hands together, "Weapons out, and-"

Half pull out some gun or the other, but half just look at him blankly. Blitz wishes for death.

"Save me from this family," He mutters under his breath, "Okay. Take these then." He passes out the few weapons he'd brought along with him and doesn't ask if they know how to use them because if he hears a no, he's giving up and going back home. "Stick close and talk loudly so the others can hear us. Let's go."

They move out, Blitz taking the lead and the rest forming a circle close behind him, starting up a loud conversation about the neighbour's garden. It gives him enough time to wonder exactly what the fuck he's doing here, in a nightmare world with a bunch of pretentious snobs, searching for his stupid Ars Goetia boyfriend, instead of sleeping in his nice lumpy bed back at home.

-a sequel to the previous fic!!! I had to write some Octavia and Blitz bonding, and accidentally added in a bunch of teenage imps who work for Stolas who imprint on Blitz immediately. And there's Eldritch Stolas, protective boyfriends and found family!!! The whole shebang!!!

This ended up being Much longer than I'd expected, but genuinely every fic up there is really good, go check em out!!!!

[missmentelle]

Let’s talk about Instagram “influencer” culture. 

My younger brother and his girlfriend are Instagram influencers. They aren’t household names with a million fans apiece, but they each have a decent following. They’ve been featured in various lists and roundups of people whose lives and relationships are #goals, and they both earn a steady income from Instagram. Not enough to make a full-time living, but enough to make pouring hundreds of hours into their Instagram careers worth their while. 

Despite being so close to an Instagram influencer - several of the most popular photos on my brother’s account were taken by me - I have some serious qualms about Instragram “influencer” culture as a whole. I studied the impact of platforms like Instagram in graduate school - I have a master’s degree in clinical psychology, and I spent part of my time in grad school working with a professor who studies the impact of social media on mental health. A recent study found that out of all social media platforms, Instagram is the worst for your mental health. I’ve also had the chance to see firsthand what a life lived on Instagram has meant for my brother, and the toll it continues to take on him. 

So what makes Instagram influencer culture so toxic for both the people who create it and the people influenced by it? For starters: It’s faker than you think. Instagram stars intentionally market themselves as “authentic” and “real” - you are led to believe that you are getting an unfiltered glimpse into someone’s daily life as you follow along with their pictures and their daily stories. In reality, however, a huge amount of time, effort and money goes into the images you see. My brother and his girlfriend take hundreds of photos in order to get one or two shots worthy of posting. Outings are often little more than photoshoots; a “hike” is often just a short walk to a scenic location, followed by hours of photos. Ditto for ice skating, beach days and photos from music festivals. They don’t get to enjoy many of the activities they are depicted doing with big smiles on Instagram, because the focus is on capturing the perfect photo. Photos are often planned weeks in advance, vacations are booked based on which locations will make the best backdrops, and the fancy food in their pictures often goes cold while they get the perfect shot. The fact that they want to create beautiful images is not an issue - after all, the pictures in many mainstream ads are stunning. The issue is that they’re specifically pretending not to be models or advertisers; they are intentionally leading you to believe that what you’re seeing is candid daily life. Which leads me to...

It presents unattainable ideals as everyday life. Instagram influencers roll out of bed in perfect and tastefully-decorated apartments, eat nutritious and visually stunning meals, and lead full, active lives of glamour and adventure. Their skin is never flawed, their hair never out of place, and their outfits never tacky. Again, this isn’t a problem if you are creating an advertisement or a TV show - something that your viewers know is manufactured to look perfect - but Instagram stars hinge their success on pretending that that level of non-stop perfect is their average, daily life. In reality, my brother’s girlfriend piles dirty laundry and books in her bathtub so that her bedroom looks “minimalist” in her photos, and the two of them post weeks-old starry-eyed couple photos with gushy captions even when they are on the verge of breaking up. Influencers themselves tend to be young, attractive, white, thin, able-bodied, middle-class cis people - an ideal that is already unattainable for most people - and yet they present themselves as totally average people. When flaws and problems are revealed, it’s often in a very controlled way, and generally tied in with some kind of pithy advice or mantra. Which brings us to...

It encourages people with no credentials to hand out “expert” advice. This is probably one of the most damaging aspects of influencer culture. 22-year-olds with absolutely no formal training in nutrition, mental health, medicine, dermatology or fitness are handing out “expert” wellness advice - or even designing diets, skincare routines, and workout regimens for others - and feeling increasingly comfortable doing it. Vulnerable people who may have very serious issues lap this advice up, regardless of how unsound or untested it may be; after all, these influencers appear to have perfect lives, and it’s easy to assume that they must know the secrets of health, happiness and clear skin. There are a couple of huge problems with this. For one, many people aren’t actually aware of why they are successful - if a conventionally attractive cis white woman whose parents financially support her tells you that the secret to avoiding stress is meditation and mud masks, you should be skeptical of that advice. People in positions of relative privilege are often blind to the many advantages they have, and will attribute their success to their “wellness routines” or “positive thinking”, rather than the social advantages that are not available to many of their followers. Also, influencers are often peddling advice that they themselves do not follow. My brother’s girlfriend makes money by selling advice on how to make a full-time living while travelling the world, despite the fact that she isn’t actually able to do that. Many influencers who promote extremely restrictive diets and health regimes have admitted that they themselves do not follow these diets. People who are feeling deeply insecure about their bodies, relationships, careers, lifestyles and productivity are turning to advice from people who aren’t qualified to help. And why does every Instagram star suddenly seem to be offering themselves up as a “wellness” expert? It’s because...

It exists to sell you things, while pretending otherwise. As much as the influencer community presents itself as being all about “authenticity”, “expression”, “empowerment”, or “wellness”, at the end of the day, it is all about trying to sell you things, even if that means exploiting your deepest insecurities. A company that employs plus-sized models to represent their $90 leggings is still a company that, at the end of the day, is trying to sell you $90 leggings, and if they have to pay someone to convince you that these leggings are the only thing standing between you and finally loving your body and having the courage to chase your dreams, then that’s exactly what they are going to do. It is an advertisement, dressed up as self-help and inspiration from an ordinary person who just wants you to succeed. If you find that you feel bad about yourself after a couple of minutes of scrolling through your instagram feed, that’s the impact that the app is meant to have on you. People who are completely satisfied with themselves and their lives don’t buy things they don’t need - making you feel like your life should be better is the key to selling you a wide variety of products. 

Does all this mean that Instagram is evil, or that influencers are bad people? Of course not. They are people trying to make money through self-expression, and many produce interesting and engaging content. Many of them are very young, and may not think about the impact that they might be having on their followers. I certainly don’t think that any of them set out to deceive people. But it is important to think critically about the media we consume, the purpose of that media, and the message it carries. I have known many people, both personally and professionally, who find that they feel worse about themselves after spending an afternoon scrolling through social media, and I think it’s important for all of us to examine why that may be, and take steps to protect our own mental health.

[yellowocaballero]

6, 7, 18 :V

What is your darkest fear about writing?

Oh god uh uh uh

I worry my stuff is bad, like literally everybody else. I get stressed out when I feel like I just can't make the story work, when it just has way too many flaws, or when I feel like I just can't reach the level that I want to reach. It frustrates me and I definitely vent to friends that I'll never be good enough for myself and my own standards.

But that's just frustration. That's my shit self-esteem and my bad habit of wanting things to be perfect without putting the effort in. I WISH I was a perfectionist. That's a huge part of my psyche that I have to manage in every aspect of my life.

That's not fear. Fear is anticipation of negative consequences. Fear is 'I'm terrified this'll happen, because then X Y and Z will happen'. These consequences can be physical - I'll flunk, I'll get rejected, I'll crash the car - or they can be emotional - she'll hate me, he'll be disappointed in me, they'll dump me, I'll hate myself. There's, like, stakes.

There's no stakes in my writing? If I post a fic and it gets no hits, then I've lost exactly nothing in this process. If I write a fic and it's terrible, then I'll get really frustrated and go cool off and then go back to writing something better. Worst case scenario with my writing is...?!...my friends will think it's bad..?!...I don't know. That I'll never be good enough...? I will never, ever be good enough for myself, this is a me problem that has little to do with my writing. This is why I write to destress. Everything's made up and the points don't matter?

(This is why I'll never be a professional writer, for what it's worth - hugely rooting for your success in that aspect).

What is your deepest joy about writing?

I sometimes get extremely nice comments about how much a story meant to them. That is always so wonderful, they are very meaningful to me. I also sometimes get comments that I have made somebody realize that they are ace/trans/has made them quit their job, which are the ABSOLUTE BEST. I love talking about my writing and discussing it with other people, and I achieve this through writing stuff that is hopefully good enough that I can make other people care about it. It's hugely rewarding and feels wonderful & it makes me happy to know that I brighten days. The best part of fanfiction is the friends I make through fanfiction.

But my actual joy is - I don't know, just in the writing. When I'm wading through a scene and I just really love the scene, and I feel like a freaking genius, and I can't type fast enough to keep up with my brain. When the image is incredibly vivid in my mind and I'm feeling everything in the scene, and it's coming out even more beautiful than in my head. When I'm, like, ALMOST THERE. Writing a sentence and going 'that's the EXACT right sentence' or writing a line of dialogue that is so clever or writing a joke that is just so funny. When everything is just right and I'm just having a complete blast, and then I go brag to my friends about how smart I am. I just like doing it.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

This post is already pretty long, so I'll attempt to be laconic.

I like Wolverine , Khonshu said wistfully. 

“Damn, then go staple yourself to his adamantium skeleton. Their crusade’s a waste of time. This ain’t a team-up issue, it’s a multiversal mistake.” Jake snorted softly, flexing his hands inside his hoodie pockets. “Mark my words, Boss. Day after tomorrow my knife’s going to find that kid’s heart. He’s going to die because our little justice system’s fucked up, because he made the shit choices a shit situation gave him, and because the keepers of the peace like us care more about justice than what’s right. And the same thing’s gonna happen next month, and the next month, and the next month. ‘Cuz there’s nothing cruel or unusual about state-sanctioned serial killing. How’s that for your piping hot pie of justice?”

The entire process of trying to make Jake was complicated enough, and he changed a tremendous amount through conceptualizing him. I hadn't intended to have him in the scene - I actually never intended to do a Jake POV until the final scene - and him becoming a major character actually fucked some stuff up. But I just liked my brand new OC so much he started eating up word count (The joy of Jake Dialogue is real). He was going to be a bit more unhinged until I wrote the passage, really loved it, and swerved hard in this direction.

This passage is to blame for a lot of that, because it cemented Jake as: an astute outside observer of the situation, a mouthpiece for the justice-themed moral, keenly intelligent, a kinda spicy fourth wall breaker, pretty hilarious, uncontrollable, pettily cruel, and bugfuck insane.

Anyway I actually just bring up this passage because I read The New Jim Crow in prep for this story and somehow Jake became the character in universe who's read The New Jim Crow. I also re-read all of She-Hulk 1989, and although Shulk was always gonna be 4th-walley it somehow became INCREDIBLY funny to have Jake be the only other 4th wall breaker just because he is bugfuck. I also watched many telenovela recaps and none of them made it in except for the general vibe of extreme drama.

Thanks for the ask!

[lilac-melody]

overanalyzing the Heroine Tarumono opening and what it can mean for the story because I’m bored and I love fairytales

I am in love with fairytales, so of course, I’m dug up my research and knowledge into fairytales, and after much (over)analyzing, I have come to a-many conclusions.

L’Oiseau Bleu - The story of two spoiled children who are told by a fairy godmother that they have to journey to find happiness, where they search high and low for the Blue Bird of Happiness, risking so much, before finding it within their home all along.

I think that’s what these are trying to convey- the sign above them specifically says “L’Oiseau Bleu”, and has the blue bird symbol- as well as the blue bird in the cage within their own room.

The lesson? Hiyori, becoming their manager, wants them to become friends and, despite them thinking they are happy because they’re idols, they need to find true happiness beyond the glory and fame they receive. Which is why they seem to be watching an after party of sorts in the second image. They’re happy, but it’s not where their true happiness lies.

As per the tale of L’Oiseau Bleu, they find true happiness not in other people or superficial love (their fans, who would undoubtedly dislike them if they let their true selves show) within each other.

The tale also tells how the two rich ones must not be too sucked into their life of luxury, as even turning a diamond can hide one’s ugliness in beauty, which the opening does dive into.

There is also the end scene, in which the spoiled boys “creates great happiness for another by giving his pet bird, which seems much bluer than before, to the sick child”

I think what this is meaning is that Hiyori, who set them out to find happiness, will be rewarded greatly for her efforts, with them returning the kindness. The three do end up becoming friends, after all, and she will find her own happiness.

And what of Chuu-tan?

I think, and I could be wrong but bare with me, but I think Chuutan would represent the “luxuries”. Chuutan, being a die hard fan of LIPxLIP, provides them with reason to be selfish and horrific. She buys all their merch, she gets angry if they give fanservice to another girl. As such, she only likes them as LIPxLIP, not as themselves. Such thinking can lead to them hiding more about themselves, and prevent them from being able to reach happiness.

Another thing I noticed, which is still playing on my mind, is that there is a “Sleeping Beauty Blue Bird Variation”.

It follows the typical Sleeping Beauty story. In this one, there is Volante, the Fairy of Courage, Grazia, the Fairy of Joy and Beauty, and finally, Syrene, the Fairy of Love.

I bring this up because there’s a brief scene in which Hiyori is wearing a beautiful tutu, which seems very out of place. We can understand the fairy godmother one, being the one to get LIPxLIP into finding happiness, and her outfits of her being a servant, being less fortunate than LIPxLIP.

Not to mention, right in front of her, are a small bundle of roses, which, in said playwright, rather than a spindle of a spinning wheel, is what the princess pricks her finger on to fall into her 100 year sleeping curse.

Is this a coincidence? Maybe so, but hear me out here.

I think Hiyori’s family represents the “Courage” fairy- always being rowdy and supportive of her for her dreams, bold.

Juri and Chizuru represent “Joy and Beauty” fairy, helping Hiyori with her problems and being an important aspect to her high school life. Beautiful in their own right, and providing her with happiness when no one else in her class would.

And Aizou and Yujiro represent the “Love” fairy. Not only do they help her prepare for her dates when they come up...

But they’re the ones, similar to Syrene, they take her to where she lays until her true love can come along, where she is bound by love.

In her coffin, she was laid in roses, wondering where her prince could be.

And it’s through Aizou and Yujiro helping her find her true love and supporting her through that, that she is, just like the original tale, is rewarded with her happiness.

...

Did I get way off topic and read way too deep into this? Yeah.

But hey, I had fun with this, I love this sort of stuff.

Let me know what you guys think~

[blacksunscorpio]

Astro Musings No. 5

Placements Most Prone to Getting Stuck in Abusive Relationships

Are usually people with Venus in Scorpio because of the intensity of how they love and the intensity in which people love them back, Venus in Libra due to their penchant for trying to see the good in those they love. Venus square/opposing Neptune, due to these natives often idealizing those who do not deserve it. Venus in Pisces, due to their savior complexes. People with Moon squaring their Mars’, or Moon conjunct/squaring/opposing their Pluto’s— often they associate pain and intensity of feeling as equatable to love. These are the types of people who feel deeply and often have a hard time entertaining the idea of love unless there is some sort of “suffering” involved.

Many with Moon or Venus squaring Saturn

Can endure the same thing/have the same habits. I’ve found with the latter two the duration of these relationships will last a lot longer. This is because Saturn adds longevity to relationships.

Nessus in aspect to Dejanira in synastry

Can also cause obsession or at its worst, abuse. Sparknotes version of the Greek myth is a wild centaur named Nessus attempted to kidnap and rape Dejanira as he was ferrying her across the river Euenos, but she was rescued by Heracles. If you’ve ever watched Disney’s Hercules, Megara is the Hollywood version of this broad. In regard to synastry Dejanira is the asteroid of the victim, especially sexual, and Nessus indicates the abuser. If this appears in synastry you can be certain two people will have some sort of abuse involved in their relationship or some sort of intense obsession with each other than may not be altogether healthy. Be careful if it aspects [in square or opposition] Sado or Algol. No bueno. If touching Chiron it there will be some sort of lesson involved. Make sure it’s one worth learning. Aspects like these in astrology can be very humbling.

Typically if One Has an Aspect Natally it Will Often Appear in Synastry With Another.

For example, One can have their Sun opposing their moon and often attract people whose moons oppose or square their sun. If one has a Mercury squaring their Pluto, they may attract someone whos Pluto square’s their Mercury. You can often always trace a synastry aspect back to one or the other person’s natal chart.

People with Venus Conjunct Lilith

Will have enormous sex appeal. Their basic femininity will be in touch with their wild femininity. If in the 10th house, they may make a career out of it. Become models or make money off their figures. One of my best friends is a porn star and has this aspect. Her ‘Only Fans’ is poppin’.

People with Sagittarius 5th houses

Can/will adopt children from other countries or have children in countries other than their native land. Angelina Jolie’s 5th house is in Sagittarius and her whole brood save for 3 are of different ethnicities.  People with the same rising sign as you often deal with many of the same issues as you and therefore, can be easier to have friendships/relationships with. This is typically because two people will have the same houses/house sign cusps.

Placements That Make One Lucky

Are often strong Jupiter placements. Jupiter rules fortune and is in general a benefic planet. Wherever he touches will show growth or excess of energy. It is best when he is working harmoniously. So, Jupiter trining/conjunct/sextiling inner planets or Jupiter trining the north node. Jupiter as the most elevated planet is a good indicator of someone who often gets lucky in the nick of time. Luck often comes through at the clutch for these folks.  Asteroid Fortuna, Fama, or Abundantia making harmonious/conjunctions to planets like Jupiter, the Sun, or the Moon. The Sun in the 10th house is a good indicator of someone lucky in their career. Asteroid Karma No. 3811 in favorable aspect to inner planets, and/or Asteroid Talent No. 33154 in favorable aspect to inner planets or in benefic houses.

A good place to look to see determine someone’s physical features is often their Sun, Rising, Dominant planet, or Midheaven.

Yes, I know, not very exciting but I keep telling you guys to stop ignoring your Sun. It is the most powerful Planet in your chart. However, if we were to look beyond the Sun, Your rising sign is your face. Someone with a Scorpio rising will inevitably have some sort of intensity to them. 9 times out of 10, it has something to do with their eyes. The Midheaven will also show you a bit more, usually how a person carries themselves. I often find those with Virgo or Venus Midheavens [women] are very good in heels. Good with structured walking. Men will often have model-esque walks as well. Attention grabbers. Same with those with Capricorn MC’s. Neptune MC’s have a bit of a “swagger to their walk” like they’re swimming through air. Gemini MC’s are often very light on their feet. Aries MC’s walk in a very militaristic way. Straight backed. Authoritarian. George W. Bush has an Aries MC and walks in such a way.

Psychic connections in Synastry [Platonic or Romantic]

Are usually 12th house, 8th house, 1st house, or 9th house placements/Overlays. Aspect-wise typically Moon to the lunar nodes, Uranus to the Nodes or Moon, Vertex to nodes, PLUTO, or NEPTUNE to Mercury. Mercury to Moon, Mercury to Uranus, or Neptune. These are all highly psychic points. Having these placements in synastry/overlay will usually indicate dreaming of the other person, prophetic dreams [especially if 9th house or Jupiter is involved] Knowing what the other person is thinking or gut hunches about the person’s well being. If in harmonious aspect these will make you feel closer to the person or bolster feelings of affection. In hard aspect, it can cause obsession or the other person may feel as if they are “haunting” you. Trust me.

A Singleton Planet

is a planet posited in the only sign or house of its type [element, mode, or orientation]. For example, if your sun is the only planet in a water house, or if your moon is the only planet in a sign of universal orientation, those would be singletons. Singletons are EXTREMELY powerful forces in the natal chart. They can be considered focal points of consciousness, sometimes vehicles of manifestation. They are widely understood to have extreme expressions (or repressions) which are heavily symbolic in a native’s entire life.

People with many Aries placements, strong Martian influence, [especially if in aspect to Mercury or Mars], or hard Plutonic aspects [including conjunctions] tend to enjoy more aggressive forms of music. The types to listen to heavy metal/rock or hardcore gansta rap.

Leo and Aquarius mixing in a natal chart or in the 2nd house can make someone have a bit of a “bark” like voice.

Venus retrograde natives may have had a hard time or still have a hard time in their social lives especially if it’s placed in the 11th house.

On Chiron

People with Chiron in Aries have a fear of failure. Can suffer from identity issues. They can heal by empowering others and being independent. Chiron in Taurus feel as if they never have enough. May have grown up a bit poor or might feel as if they don’t deserve nice things. They can heal by being financially responsible, but also treating themselves to something nice once in a while. Chiron in Gemini feels like no one understands them, may have suffered from feeling unintelligent or their mental pursuits were discouraged. They can heal by speaking up. Writing or singing. Translating their pain into beautiful intellectual activity. Chiron in Cancer feel as if they can’t be vulnerable They may have been made to feel ashamed of their emotions. May have suffered neglect at home, specifically from the mother. They can heal by taking care of others. Cooking. Expressing themselves to those they trust. Not everyone will hurt you. Chiron in Leo may have suffered from being invalidated in life. Feeling rejected. Having impossible standards forced on them. Not getting recognition for their talents. They can heal through channeling creativity into art. Helping others see their worth. Being playful and bold in their own self-expression. Chiron in Virgo may suffer from some sort of distorted self-image. Perfectionism or excess of criticism from others/family. As a result, they can either be extremely critical or compensate by being people pleasers. They can heal by maintaining their health and seeing a counselor [remember Mercury who rules the mind is the ruler of Virgo so mental health is NOT something to ignore.]

People with Venus in Taurus

Are actually some of the slowest moving people in terms of romance. Even more than Capricorn Venusians. They love to take their sweet time. If they were to be a Tarot card, they’d be the Knight of Pentacles. Methodical, slow-moving, careful. They are caring but terrified of choosing the wrong person, being abandoned, or making the wrong move. They study the object of their affections almost to the level of Plutonians [but without the dark appeal]. This is because they want to know how and what pleases the other person. Very traditional.

Cancerians

Are very jealous in love and can give Scorpios a run for their money.

Leo Moons

LOVE ATTENTION I've noticed even more than Leo suns. Why? Because validation is often tied to what makes them feel good emotionally [moon]. These are the people who will post about 20 snap or insta stories talking about their day.

Gemini Mars’

Have a problem with dry-snitching on themselves. This is because their drive is tied with their intellect and speech. As a result, they can often find themselves saying more than they mean to.

Aquarian placements

Are high-key opinionated but are can also be the least accepting of other points of view, especially if Saturn/Capricorn is in the mix. This is because they are fixed air. So their mindsets/intellectual opinions are hard-pressed to change. Good luck trying to win an argument with one. However, they do move on quickly because they are detached by nature.

Sagittarians/strong sag placements will often make friends the easiest out of any zodiac sign. Opinionated but their curiosity for people from all walks of life makes it easy to relate to them. Those who come after would most likely be Gemini moons or 5th House/ 11th House Leo’s.

6th house placements, especially if Leo or Pisces sits on the cusp often are very good with animals. Piggybacking on that, Piscean placements tend to have an almost telepathic ability with animals.

Cats seem to take to Scorpionic people very easily, even if the native doesn’t care for them. As a matter of fact, most Scorpionic people have a knack with animals that are nocturnal. Spiders, Owls, Cats, Foxes. These animals will likely find a Scorpio native/ those with heavy Scorpio placements out of nowhere or perhaps never bite them.

Astro Musings No. 1 Astro Musings No. 2  Astro Musings No. 3  Astro Musings No. 4  Astro Musings No. 6 Astro Musings No. 7 Astro Musings No. 8  Astro Musings No. 9  Astro Musings No. 10

[cumulohimbus]

A Transcript of M’s Transphobic Letter to Me (from mid-Sept. 2018)

I am transcribing this for posterity, and so I can remove the images of it from my phone.  This was a four page long, handwritten letter I received in the mail 6 months after coming out publicly as trans & queer, from a former Catholic Confirmation teacher.

Four years ago I thought it was silly, but it still hurt.  Today it just reads as ridiculous and deeply unhinged; I feel bad for the person who wrote this.  I later burned the letter in my fire pit, surrounded by friends.

     [Dead Name] - (I know you use a different name now so I’ll explain later on in this letter why I use the name given to you at birth) -

...[this section just talks about my starting college and moving out on my own]...

     Now - onto other - for me quite hard to accept - subjects.      I’m having an extremely hard time accepting this whole transgender trend.  And yes, I do believe it’s a trend.  Being confused as a child and a teenager in reference to a person’s sexuality is quite normal.  Experimentation with homosexuality is also quite normal and has been going on since time began.      I have no problem accepting the confusion or experimentation.  However, I do have a hard time with the concept of so many people recently stating they are “trans”.      You were born with a vagina - as far as I know you still have one - hence -  you are a female!      I know you’ve struggled with your mental health for many years.  I’m so sorry you were given that cross to bear.  I know it’s not easy.  However, I do feel, especially in your case, that this wanting to be “male” is, unfortunately, another aspect of a mental demon.      I remember in Confirmation Class you telling me you thought you might be bi-sexual.  Ok - fine - that I can live with.  But have you given very serious consideration to how injections of a hormone may affect you long term?  As in, twenty or more years from now?  That can’t be good for you - or anyone else.      You may not feel like a “woman” because you prefer short hair, or you don’t like wearing dresses or make-up.  Fine!  Don’t do those things!  Because society dictates what “feminine” is does not make you less of a female.  It simply makes you a person outside of society’s norm.  Please do not let what is concerned “normal” make you do something crazy!  Short hair does not make you less feminine, nor does going without high heels.  Mutilating the the body God gave you -  is not the answer.  God created you in His image!      Don’t get me wrong - you are loved - beyond [illegible, crossed out text] understanding - by God.  And I love you too, no matter what.  But I am worried about you!      As for the name thing. - Your Mother gave you a beautiful name.  A name she chose specifically for you!  Again, do not let society dictate what is or is not a “feminine” or “masculine” name.  I do not understand why a certain name has to be gender specific.  Hence, to me you are [Dead Name] and you always will be.      I’m certain by now you’re upset with me.  I’m sorry.  I figured if I was honest about my feelings you would get angry, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take (I tend to be a bit on the brutal side of brutally honest.)      You know I’m always here for you and no matter what choice you make that will stand.  But please do not let this all be an attention grabber.  Keep praying and discerning.  Keep your spirits up and keep smiling.

Love & hugs, -M

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

breaking it down to find a meaning

neighbours au?

this came out of literally no where. I was getting ready for bed and I had "I wanna love somebody" by We Three stuck in my head and then I opened tumbles and this just poured out of me? Yea I literally wrote this in the tumblr post option. no google doc we die like lovers.

I point this out only to say this is defs not edited lmao. I didn't even expect it to be this long it was supposed to a tiny drabble?

please enjoy!

[all images have alt text]

There are exactly three things wrong with Percy's current living situation.

1. He has far too little lounge space for his terribly long body. His shins have hit the coffee table six times today in his attempt to maneuver from sitting on the couch to standing.

2. The spare bedroom is not a good enough sound quality for his guitar or his drum practice. The bathroom is much better. He cannot practice in his bathroom forever, or ever.

3. His neighbour is undeniably, completely distractingly hot.

He hasn't allowed himself to rate the problems in order of most troublesome because he's a little ashamed about which one might take first place.

Since moving in one week ago Percy has had many opportunities to arrange and rearrange every aspect of the tiny two bedroom— or one bedroom and a makeshift studio— apartment until he could walk around it blind. He knows not to step on the third floorboard from the left wall on the way to his bedroom because it creaks unpleasantly and he thinks his downstairs neighbours are going to shove a hot poker through the roof just to brandish the annoying foot that keeps making the noise. He knows that the oven setting has to be juggled just right for it to go on. He knows the curtain railings in the living room are far too thin and brittle— he will have to replace them before the month is out. He knows you have to turn the hot tap in the shower three times and the cold tap four to get the exact perfect temperature. What he doesn't know, however, is his neighbour's name, or the colour of their eyes, or anything about them. All he knows is that they're hot.

But today, bruised shin and all, Percy is determined to introduce himself. If for nothing else but to gauge just how upset they might be when he starts up what his mother used to lovingly call "Melodic Madness".

So far it takes the reign as number one reason he's had to leave his previous living spaces. Mr Chiron from Strawberry Valley, who told the landlord the noise was so loud it made his steel kneecaps rust. Creative, but Percy isn't sure it's feasible. Then there was Minerva from Olive Grove who took one look at him and told the landlord he was a drug dealer, or worse, a drug user. He had raised a brow, couldn't stop his lip from tugging up, liking the way the ring that hugged his bottom lip stretched deliciously. He almost killed her on the spot. He would have laid lillies at her funeral and she would have risen again to throw them away. The last place, a Mr Hedge. Percy was glad to leave him behind. There were baseball bags swinging and yelling almost as loud as he played every time they crossed paths. For his own safety Percy didn't even wait for the man to call the landlord before he wad tucking his drumsticks in his pocket and high tailing it to, here.

Here being Sunset Gardens. Here being in this small apartment that fit him almost perfectly. Here being one knock away from meeting his new neighbour.

Percy wonders, as he looks at the soft cream wood of the door, if he should have worn a turtle neck to hide the snake tattoo wrapping around his throat. Or maybe a button down and a tie, to hide the swirls of ink on his arms. The black t-shirt he has on, a normal longer length to his usual cropped look, is clean and soft from use. He decides it'll have to be good enough because he can't wear button downs all the time. How ever will he afford all the ties that come with the obligation?

Percy knocks on the door.

There's silence behind it. The silence of sleepy world, too cozy-can't move. The silence that doesn't wish to be disturbed.

The door opens.

His neighbour's eyes are blue. Bright blue. Startling blue. Blue enough to make his lungs feel a lack of oxygen. He's reaching for the sky and it's getting harder to breather the higher he gets.

"Hello." Says his neighbour.

Percy is flying closer to the sun than Icarus ever will, ever could.

"Can I help you?"

He needs to stop staring. He needs to say something that doesn't make him look like a gaping angel fish. All starry eyes halos and floundering for relief from the air. Do fish know how beautiful the sky is? He imagines if they did they'd all kill themselves trying to get to it. He's doing it right now.

"Hi," He grins. Teeth white, straight, flossed because his mother forced him to learn the habit. "I'm Percy, your new neighbour."

"Jason," The voice is warm, deep. He knows if he lay his head on that spectacular chest he'll feel every vibration when this blue eyed spectacle talks. It'll be like getting into a really nice car and feeling the seats rumble beneath you.

"How are you finding the apartment?"

They're still standing on his door front. Jason won't relent his sanctuary. Percy won't toe over the line, curiouser and curiouser as he is.

"Good. Living room is causing some bodily harm," He waves to his shin, "But otherwise very good. Cozy."

"We share a wall. I don't know if it's your bedroom and mine or..." His neighbour trails off.

"It's my spare bedroom against you." They both glance to his door, light from his lounge flooding the passage in a perfect parallelogram.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He's looking into the sky again. Watches as hair falls over that golden forehead. His hands— tattooed "amare" on his left fingers and "amari" on his right— twitch to push it back, to grasp the white strands, to know what light feels like. He tucks them into the pockets of his sweatpants. He tells them behave. The twitch in their hiding place. He doesn't let them seek.

"What about it?" Jason is frowning, in that worried way that says he's used to bad news and he's tired of it too.

"I uh," Percy's eyes flicker around the world. "I play guitar and drums. I'm using that room as my music room."

"Oh." The relief in Jason is a pointed arrow straight at his heart. Even cupid could never shoot something so potent. "That's okay. I'll use your music as inspiration when I paint."

Percy is Icarus three seconds after he believes he can fly. Percy is Patroclus when he feeds Achilles. Percy is Hercules after completing his first trial. Percy is a hero and a warrior and the luckiest person alive. Percy is alive.

"I hope you're good." Jason shrugs as if he hadn't tattooed a permanent place into the underside of Percy's ribcage.

"I hope so too." He manages to say back.

"I'll show you what I can create from you the first time and you can judge." Those blue eyes are so wide with innocence. Not the innocence of life but of words. His neighbour has no idea what he's doing to him. Has no idea that he is about to go home and make song lyrics out of all these declarations.

"I look forward to it." He smiles wide. It's ocean deep with happiness.

There are exactly three things perfect about Percy's current living situation:

1. The kitchen has a gas stove enough counter space for him to make bread and his mother's gumbo

2. His bedroom is big enough for him to fit a king sized bed easily. He is a sprawler when he sleeps and he cannot be happier to sprawl across never ending expanse.

3. His hot neighbour is perfect.

[beccanoodles]

Spike and Faye Pairing Analysis

March 2021

Ah the hit or miss pairing of the century! If you don’t love it, you probably hate it lol. I’m a very analytical person so I love analyzing works of art and overall enjoy deep discussions about them too. I have SO much to say when it comes to Cowboy Bebop (and oh I plan to), but I have decided to start with my very own OTP. Here, I am not really going to discuss Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other, but rather why I think people are drawn to this pairing and why I think they're totally valid. Get ready for a long read!😁

⚠️SPOILER WARNING!!! [Major Cowboy Bebop and the movie Out of the Past spoilers]⚠️

First off, let’s clear something up. I am confident most of us can agree that Spike was in love with Julia. Some people assume Spike and Faye fans are deranged and disregard Spike and Julia’s romantic relationship to try and make something of Spike and Faye that never was. While some people may have their various theories and opinions on this, generally, I don’t think anyone denies Spike’s love for Julia. As we will see, this pairing is not really driven by who loves who...let’s first look on the surface.

I don’t know your experiences with the series, but in mine, every time I show this to people it never fails for someone to say something along the lines of,

“Wait, they don’t end up together?”

“Why didn’t he kiss her!?”

“He should have stayed with her...”

and so fourth. 

Naturally, this pairing catches many eyes. 

Think about it, you are given two really cool, really hot and really deep characters that are really fun to see together! There are so many parallels between the two and they are arguably the strongest characters of the bunch. Granted, you can agree with this and still not ship them, but these aspects are part of what opens up the door for many fans of the pairing.

However, there is certainly more to this pairing than them simply looking good together right? As the years pass and I’ve now seen the show multiple times, my understanding of it has evolved in many areas, Spike and Faye included. 

Spike and Faye really couldn’t have ended up together. Sure, it’s a nice thought, but It would have been an entirely different show if they had. I don’t feel that the show should have happened any other way and I don’t think many other fans would either. 

So, what am I saying here?

What’s the point of this paring if I don’t think they should have ended up together? 

It is what's so frustrating about them, yet keeps you coming back and what honestly validates this pairing in my opinion. Spike and Faye are not driven by what is, but rather, what could be.  

I personally feel the themes of classic film Noir are not discussed enough when it comes to Cowboy Bebop! This is one of the show's major influences, especially when it comes to the plot and characters.

One of the common tropes of a film noir is that of a protagonist who is drawn back into his past and ultimate doom, usually by the “seduction” of a femme fatale. In these movies, the women are either a femme fatale [devious, dangerous, mysterious, greedy, troubled, or unreliable] or a woman of virtue [reliable, dutiful, trustworthy, conventional and loving]. 

I am going to use the 1947 classic, Out of the Past to make my comparisons from here on out.

In Out of the Past, Jeff is a former detective who gets caught up in a love triangle between a gangster and his girlfriend Kathie, sound familiar? He attempts to run away with her, but is betrayed and runs off to start a new life in a new town. Here, he meets Ann and falls in love with her, but of course, his past catches up to him and he is drawn back into the world of criminals (largely by Kathie’s involvement). This ultimately results in his and Kathie’s deaths and Ann’s heartbreak. 

Even though Kathie is the femme fatale in this movie, I found myself comparing her more to Julia’s role in the show, than to Faye’s and I found that Faye actually fit best in Ann’s role (this is a bit unusual considering Faye is typically seen as the femme fatale of this show).

Does that mean I think Julia was as ill intentioned as Kathie or that Spike fell in love with Faye? Well, not exactly, let’s look at it a bit further.

“The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can’t leave alone...Like an angel from the underworld or a devil from paradise.”

Most of what we get about Julia is from Spike’s point of view. From this, we learn she is at the center of Vicious and Spike’s conflict, but aside from that she is basically depicted as “The Virtuous Woman” of a noir. The colors around her are warm and she is shown caring for Spike. There is an innocence and modestly about her as well.

Yet, when we finally do meet Julia, we get a different image. We know she is tied up with dangerous men, but is she herself a dangerous woman?

She is certainly capable of betrayal. 

Suddenly she is a bad-ass-gun-toting woman in leather and black, surrounded by hues of grey and dark blue. Intentional or not, Julia is a major part of what lures Spike back into the past and ultimately to his death. In this case, Julia is the femme fatale of Spike’s story and thus, their relationship is doomed from the start.

Faye, on the other hand, is portrayed in somewhat of a contrast. When we first meet her, she is the clear cut femme fatale, appearing cunning, strong willed and seductive. However, we soon find that she has quite a bit of kindness and naivety hidden behind her facade. She uses the former tactics as a way of emotional (and probably physical) protection. Gren points this out in his conversation with her. 

Gren, 

“You’re just afraid they’d abandon you so you abandoned them. You distanced yourself from the whole thing.”

As the show progresses, we start to see less of her “femme fatale nature” and something more genuine. Think about it, between Hard Luck Woman and RFB Part 2 we don’t see much of Faye as her typical conniving or unreliable self, aside from changing the course of the Bebop maybe. Sure she takes off, but it isn’t at all for the same reasons she did in Jupiter Jazz or Speak Like a Child, for example. 

I would argue we actually see her more trustworthy and caring than ever. Since I don’t want to spend too much time talking about Faye’s character development (not here at least) I’ll give one example of this. 

When she returns to the Bebop after her encounter with Julia in RFB Part 1, she gives Spike the message, even though the outcome might hurt her (i.e. he leaves and/or dies). While she does first say “It’s gonna cost you,” she doesn’t really mean it because she tells him without hesitation only moments later.

This isn’t to say Faye good, Julia bad. Both women have their layers and even though we know way more about Faye, I don’t get the impression that Julia is selfish and cunning like Kathie was. But I do get the feeling she was enclosed in a world of crime and betrayal the way Kathie was. We really only know the basics of Spike and Julia’s situation. Who knows the details like motive or how long it lasted etc. etc. We can only speculate...

There is a scene towards the end of Out Of The Past, where Kathie tells Jeff to go away with her. This time it is her asking him, just like Julia asks Spike. During this she mentions,

“I never told you I was anything but what I am, you just wanted to imagine I was. That’s why I left you.”

This got me thinking...did Spike imagine Julia as something she wasn’t? Or something he wanted her to be that she just couldn’t be? 

It could explain why we get such contrasted images of her.

There are themes of this “dreamlike” relationship between Jeff and Kathie, similar to Spike and Julia’s “It was all a dream.”

The two of them were going to “live and be free,” probably something neither of them knew how to do and most likely wouldn’t have been able to get away with.

When Jet asks Spike if he can just forget the past, this is his answer.

Spike,

“There was a woman. For the first time in my life I saw a woman that was truly alive. At least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I had lost, that part that was missing, that I had been longing for.”

I always wondered about this, because Spike is clearly talking about Julia, but right after is when Faye shows up. To me, that spoke volumes...

Faye is a woman who is terribly human and terribly alive.

Going back to Faye and Ann, I find their similarities shine not so much in the “Virtuous Woman,” concept, but rather in Ann’s dedication to Jeff and her optimism for the future. She is also the last person to talk to Jeff before he leaves for the final time, as if he were being presented with one last alternative. Spike spends his last moments with Faye as well, in which she basically begs him not to go and keep him in the present that she has now discovered for herself. She may be stuck, but she is definitely someone that yearns for human connection, love, and life.

The problem is, Spike and Faye are both set in opposite directions. Her’s leads to a future and Spike knows this because he points it out early on (My Funny Valentine). He also knows, his most likely does not. He has already dug himself too deep into this hole, if you will, that there is really no turning back. 

But let’s say none of that was an issue? What could be?

I sat and watched this movie (Out of the Past) with my mom. She didn’t know anything about it and didn’t know why I was watching it. I wanted her genuine reaction. The whole time she was getting mad at Jeff until the very end. I asked her why and she said that she wanted him to be able to live happily with Ann. I explained to her why he had to do what he did. She understood this, but still couldn’t help but be sad at how things turned out for him, when they could have been good.

Even though Kathie and Jeff are the “lovers,” of this movie, you don’t really want them to end up together. Forget that Kathie has a devious nature, regardless, you know where it has to end and you don’t want to see your hero die.

Like Kathie, Julia symbolizes Spike’s inevitable doom and Like Ann, Faye symbolizes his possible future. 

“I’ll be with you till the end”

                           “You’re the one still tied to the past Spike!”

                                                               “Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you gonna do, just throw your life away like it was nothing?!”

It’s two sides of a sad coin...

We want Spike to have a future and because we love the characters of the show, it would be really great if he could have it with them, but that is where the tragedy is. It's only an idea we can think about, a possibility presented to us as it was to Jeff and Spike before their deaths.

The bottom line is, when it comes to Spike and Faye you are really only given a taste. You are not given what you expect to see, which is why I say this ship is driven by what could be. As it is with most of the character relationships in the show, no major breakthroughs are made until the very end, when it's too late. Then it just feels like such wasted potential, but sometimes in life, that's how it is. And thus, we have been given a very classic noir here ladies and gentlemen!

So no, I don’t think people miss the mark when they ship Spike and Faye, nor do I find they invalidate the show by any means. I kind of like that Watanabe switched it up and didn’t do the expected, but left us those subtle hints. He didn’t outright give Spike another lover, but he gave us someone that represents what he could have. Kind of does that with the crew as a whole too!

UGH. I love-hate this show and I love this pairing! Thank you for reading my thoughts and I know this may not be the case or reasoning for everyone, but just based on what I have seen around the community and where this show draws inspiration, this is what I have concluded. I didn’t get into Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other because it gets a little more theoretical there, but I would like to do a post on my thoughts on that as well sometime. I also didn’t touch too much on Spike’s reasoning for choosing to face Vicious in the end, just because I know that will only lead into a whole other analysis lol. But you know I have my thoughts on that and certainly plan to share them 😎 Also, I know I basically spoiled it, but Out of the Past is such a great movie!! I think if you’re a fan of this show it's definitely worth a watch! There are so many more parallels to Cowboy Bebop that I didn’t even mention. Anyways, thanks again and talk to you soon!