#but my goal was not to scare anybody away

[takingontheworldtogether]

my friends who don't know shit about taylor swift requested a pre-album explainer of wtf is going on so i wrote them a little newsletter... if you want something to send to your non-swiftie friends it's beneath the cut

Good morning team,

Why do we need a Swiftie newsletter?

I mean, no one really needs this. But she’s dropping a new album (“The Tortured Poets Department” or TTPD for short) in three days and I’m here to provide you with the information you need before the album comes out. I’ll be back with a post-album review letting you know 1) what juicy gossip was revealed on the album, 2) what tracks you should listen to, and 3) a few things you can say to your Swiftie friends to sound cultured.

What’s this album about?

Okay, I know this is ancient history, but cast your mind back to 2016. Kanye and Taylor Swift are beefing, and Kim Kardashian posts a clip of a phone call that makes Taylor look like a liar. Taylor gets canceled on social media and disappears for a year. 

While all this is going on, she meets her boyfriend, the British actor Joe Alwyn. I have no clue what movies he was in at the time, but since then he was in The Favorite and Harriet, and also Conversations with Friends (I think, I haven’t seen it because Normal People put me off Sally Rooney). Here’s a quick timeline:

Late 2017: Taylor comes back with “Look What You Made Me Do” and reputation. People think reputation is a bad bitch album, but it’s actually an album about finding love in a time of despair.

2019: She drops Lover, which is about many things but primarily about how she loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. 

2020: Pandemic. Taylor writes two quarantine albums, folklore and evermore. These are primarily fictional, but there are a few love songs about him. He co-writes some of these songs pseudonymously.

2022: Midnights. This album becomes wildly successful. It occupies all of the top ten slots on the billboard hot 100 in the week it comes out. It breaks a bunch of sales records.

2023: The Eras Tour starts! Two weeks in, they announce the break up. Taylor briefly dates Matty Healy of the 1975, who is by all accounts a total asshole. This appears to have been a shitty rebound. A bit later, she starts dating the football player Travis Kelce and everyone loses their minds about it. 

It looks like this album is going to be about the end of a relationship of six years and possibly rebounding/moving on. 

Okay, but like… why did they break up?

I mean, I don’t know any of these people, so all I can offer you are guesses based on song lyrics:

1 - He was really big into his privacy, which is kind of difficult if you’re dating Taylor Swift. 

2 - A lot of songs on Lover are about wanting to get married. There’s a song on Midnights that implies that she wanted to get married and he refused. Yikes. 

What’s the promo situation for this album?

The most notable thing to me (and what is this if not me rambling about my opinions) are some playlists curated by Taylor on Apple Music. Each playlist focuses on one of the five stages of grief in mourning a relationship, and they contain songs from her past albums. There are copycat playlists on Spotify, if you’re interested. My favorite is “am I allowed to cry?” which is the playlist for the bargaining stage. 

There’s also a wall in Chicago with a QR code that leads to a video of the words “Error 321 13” and a hidden message in her song lyrics that spells out “Hereby Conduct This,” which is presumably a message that will be finished by the time the album comes out. 

What do we already know about the album?

16 tracks with 4 bonus tracks. There’s a song with Post Malone (yes, really) and a song with Florence + The Machine. I agree, this is not an intuitive combination, but I’m excited. 

Two of the songs are over five minutes long. Two songs are entirely self-written, five are written with Aaron Dessner (from the National), and eight are written with Jack Antonoff (the producer who works with all the pop girlies). Her collaborations with Aaron Dessner are some of my favorite songs of hers, so this is good news to me. 

That’s my preamble to the Tortured Poets Department!

I hope this was informative, but I barely scratched the surface. You have no idea how deep this goes. Also, I need you all to know that I sat down and wrote this in one sitting without Googling anything, which probably means I know too much about this subject. 

In the meantime, I’ve been listening to “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter which is a very stupid song that is fun to listen to. I’ve also been listening to girl in red’s new album, I’m Doing It Again Baby! which is aggressively mid. If you want to listen to a song on it, I recommend “Pick Me.” 

See you in three days!

[simstationdance]

HAPPY BIRTHIVERSARY part 2 - Crop Tops & Punk Skirts

FUN FACT: The Sims 2 (2004) was released 3 days before the date upon which I was released from my mother's womb, therefore making me younger than The Sims 2 by 3 days as of September 14th 2024, but objectively older by 6 years as of September 17th 2024. As of this post, it is now my birthday. I can feel the hands of time slowly pulling me into the earth. Let's celebrate!

Today's Very Special Birthiversary post includes a set of stylish, vaguely Scene-inspired clothes for ladies: 24 recolors of the Urban Primitive skirt, separated from the Maxis outfit by Skell, and 5 Goth themed patterned recolors and 5 bright solid recolors of the 4t2 Bow Crop Top by MDPthatsme, with black tank top undershirts attached using textures by DeeDee. The clothes are for AF and TF, with Standalone and Repositoried options for TF, and they come with all morphs.

All meshes are included and special characters that would make the game load slower (specifically hyphens) have been removed from the filenames. Since the skirt is from the ever popular Maxis Match Repository Project, you probably have the mesh for the skirt lying around in your Downloads somewhere, so make sure you don't have duplicates.

For the skirts, there are two versions with tights - one of which is a mashup of fishnets by Io (colored red and black) and the Maxis black and white stockings, and the other is the Maxis shorts+fishnets texture because I liked it - and one version with bare legs, which can be used with @themeasureofasim's stockings accessory boxes. (actually only a handful work, see under the cut)

The crop tops and the skirts are 'meant' to be paired together but, being separates, you can mix and match with any other top or bottom you want.

CROP TOPS SWATCH | PUNK SKIRTS SWATCH

See under the cut for more (not very important) information.

DOWNLOAD (sfs)

Mesh credits: @mdpthatsme, Yuichen, @deedee-sims, Skell Texture and alpha credits: DeeDee, Ghanima Atreides, Creesims, Io, and Maxis Pattern credits: andrea_lauren, nerd-and-vine, ophelia_payne (@ Spoonflower), Blue Moth Fabrics, and VictoriaBat.

I have done my best to credit everyone who's resources I used. If I have misattributed or missed anybody, or if I have broken a rule in someone's TOU somewhere, please let me know.

Secondly, this is my first time 'retexturing' clothing instead of just recoloring it, as well as the first time I've done anything clothes-related in a very long time, so please be gentle to me with your criticisms and let me know if anything needs fixing <3

I wanted to recreate this outfit using only textures, because I know nothing about meshing and Milkshape scares me. As you can probably tell, I got a little carried away from the original goal.

I mashed a bunch of patterns, textures, and colors together on top of the crop top and skirt in an effort to learn 'advanced' recoloring of clothes in GIMP, as the most I've ever done before was just recoloring using pre-made PSDs. it was a bit of a disorganized disaster and there was quite a bit of blood, sweat, and tears. But the end results look... mostly nice, I think.

The arm warmers and fishnet gloves shown in the preview are a pair of accessories created by katsurinssims that I used to try to 'complete' the look, and are not included in this download.

Edit: im very sorry, I only tested a handful of the accessory stockings on the bare legs skirts, because I was very tired and there are A Lot of them, and assumed they would all work. But after a bit more testing, some of them have small gaps or poke through the boots, and the ones that are supposed to go over the crotch area end up looking like over the knee socks. Other than that, most of the knee high socks and tights work, but only on AF. I don't consider this a huge problem though, because a good amount of the tights work and the ones with gaps are barely noticeable.

There's a shoe swap that makes all of the boxes work with these skirts and I'll make another versIon of them with that mesh later.

[gravidwithlore]

Did anybody say preg drive? This here is Kaz, created just for this drive, but more about him below! Help me fill this demonic twink up with lots and lots of demon babies by either donating to my Ko-fi or by reblogging. And every like and reblog helps unlock more milestones for Kazimir!

$5 (even added up across multiple smaller donations) or 10 reblogs= 1 demon baby

1 like or 1 reblog= 1 point on the milestone bar

Likes and reblogs across any post related to this preg drive will count towards the milestone bar/baby count! Now, without further ado, ✨️him✨️

The air of despair and hopelessness lay heavy over the wagon of rebellion prisoners. The King was not kind to those who defied his will, his orders, his right to rule. And everyone in the cart, prisoners and guards alike, knew it. 

Levi did not know why his leaders had told him to get captured on purpose. To let himself be led in chains, dragged to a prison the king had built specially for torturing and extracting information from those who opposed him. He couldn't help but wonder why he was sent to spend the rest of his likely short life beaten and broken, when surely Levi would be more of use on the battlefield?

A rough bump sent half the prisoners in the cart practically flying, breaking him out of his thoughts, their chains rattling as they tried to steady themselves. Amidst the brief moment of chaos, Levi spotted a bit of shadow above him, moving in a strange and unnatural manner. It formed the shape of something that looked human, effortlessly crawling down the canvas siding covering the wagon like a lizard, then gaining shape and substance as it approached the center of the floor. 

“Kaz?” Levi whispered in disbelief.

A sharp toothed smile of pure delight and recognition answered him, as the shadow became a demon in the shape of a human. Clothed in the same dingy prisoners uniform as everyone else, chains around their wrists looped themselves into one of the many iron hooks lining the floor and walls. Kazimir, the succubus, his eyes pure red and glowing lightly for a moment, winked at him as he kneeled on the floor innocently, but oh so suggestively. 

“Quiet in there! You good for nothing’s stop your rattlin’!” One of the guards' lanterns shone into the back of the cart, and Kaz’s eyes became more human as he looked, wide-eyed and deer-like, over his shoulder at the guard. Assured the prisoners were scared into submission enough, the guard moved away, back into their rank and file. 

“You didn't think you’d get to shut this place down all by yourself, now did you handsome?” Kaz smirked and whispered so quietly only Levi could hear. Despite everything, Levi couldn't help but smirk back at the demon. Maybe things didn't look so hopeless after all.

____________________

Smack! 

The guards palm swatted his ass so hard, Kaz was sure the whole prison could hear it, as they leered at him while the prisoners were disembarking from the cart. Damn, it felt good, but it wouldn't help the mission to ‘play his cards’ so to speak, so soon. So he bit down on his lip and tried his best to turn his surprised moan into a muffled shout of surprised pain. It was important to set a perfect balance, pathetic enough to ensure the guards wanted to fuck him, but not pathetic enough that they'd rather beat the shit out of him instead. 

They carted Levi off to isolation, or maybe interrogation, immediately, not yet willing to let a high-ranking member of the rebellion mingle with the rest of the common rabble. Kaz was a little sad to see the human go. As far as humans went, Levi was one of the more bearable ones to be around. He might even go as far as to say he enjoyed working with him, when the opportunity presented itself at least. Oh well, they would see each other again. They were both here for the same goal, after all. 

It barely took a day before one of the guards roughly bent them over and took them from behind. Kaz pretended to struggle. At first. But he was only a succubus after all, and a succubus who'd just stopped taking his suppressants and birth control at that. The guard came into him twice before pulling up his pants and leaving the broom closet he'd pulled them into. Kaz stayed there and basked in the warm glowing feeling in his core, fingering the guards cum back into his eager cunt. Devils below, he'd missed this.

There we go, the first 2 demon babies on the house! Want to fill Kaz up even more? Reblog, like, and if you have $ to spare, consider donating to my Ko-fi! Every $5 (or 10 reblogs) adds a baby to that fertile fertile womb of his, and that's across donations, so if you only have $1 to spare, that's okay! You're still doing your part to help this slutty demon rebel complete his mission to take down the tyrant king!

[cat3ch1sm]

hii i think this is my first time requesting from you so hopefully I do it right..

can you do sfw headcannons of Hisoka, illumi, and Kurapika with an s/o who has a terrifying nen aura? like stronger and more menacing then theirs? and can you do gender neutral reader? thanks :]

🕷️~ hello!! welcome to my inbox 💚 thanks for your request! if you’re ever wondering what info to put in a request just view the pinned post on my profile! tyy <33

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) gn!reader, sfw

𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐤𝐚, 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐢, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐚

hisoka

hisoka isn’t usually fazed by anyone’s aura because his own is so overpowering. his aura is just so eerie and unsettling that he never needs to pay any mind to anyone else’s because he’s usually the one people stay away from. but when you enter the picture, that all changes. the second you even enter a building every person in there is instantly weighed down by the darkness and menace of your aura, including hisoka, and he can’t help but feel fearful because that is simply the only emotion your aura allows anyone around it to feel. but fear doesn’t affect hisoka like it does other people. rather, he’s intrigued.

hisoka obviously has a thing for people who can kill him, so he likes to be around you just for the twisted euphoria he experiences of being actually genuinely scared. he knows that if you wanted to or he made one wrong move, that you could kill him in a second, and that fills him with an uncanny amount of pleasure. as a matter of fact, he’ll regularly push your boundaries just to feel the rush when your aura spikes. it’s like his favorite thing to do

illumi

okay let me just say you’ve gotta be pretty goddamn scary to overshadow an aura like illumi’s. even when he’s not trying he’s still scary as shit 🙏🏾

illumi isn’t someone who normally feels things like fear, anxiety, anything along those lines. but when he first encounters you, he can’t deny the overpowering sense of dread he’s filled with when he’s even near you. it’s not like he’s legitimately scared of you or anything, but it’s more like trepidation is literally forced into him. like he has no choice but to fear your aura. this is a brand-new thing to him, too- not even the phantom troupe or anyone in his family has such an awful presence. and to be honest, illumi doesn’t like having the tables turned on him- he’s usually the one people run away from and go out of their way to avoid.

i imagine he’d watch you from a distance for a while- either by having needle people go keep tabs on you or by constructing some other nen tactic so he can observe you. the dread that comes with being too close to you and that horrible aura is too much for him to handle for now, especially since like i said it’s a new feeling. i think only after illumi has watched you long enough to discover a weakness that he’s able to exploit would he go and approach you, so if you try and pull something illumi can have a better chance at taking you out.

illumi’s next thought, though, is to make an ally out of you- and what better way to do that than have you literally join his family? that’s what causes him to seek you out in a “romantic” way- his goal is literally immediately just to marry you so you become a zoldyck and can’t turn against him.

i feel like during the relationship illumi might be a bit distant for the reasons i listed earlier. also illumi just isn’t a clingy or affectionate person. with how powerful your nen is and the hostile nature of your aura illumi isn’t inclined to be near you often. basically you both just do your own thing, but illumi does keep tabs on you and still doesn’t let you see other people. not that anybody wants to because you’re scary but still😭

kurapika

realistically, i doubt kurapika would be with anyone whose aura is this horrible. it reminds him way too much of the spiders. and in his mind, nobody with an aura as ghastly as yours can mean anything good for anyone. plus, kurapika has destructive tendencies of his own, so having someone even worse than him around would not benefit him at all. so i think he’d want to stay far away from you, and would be protective of those around him when you’re near.

but because these are headcanons and we are supposed to be delusional, let’s say that kurapika isn’t immediately deterred by your nightmarish aura. his mind goes a similar route to illumi’s, so Kurapika is going to want to get you on his side for sure. he isn’t someone who approaches people that much, so he devises a situation in which you both can be alone so he can try and develop some sort of bond which you can build on.

usually Kurapika would be more protective than not of people he’s in a relationship with, but not with you. he kind of keeps his distance, actually. if you want to do something dangerous or deadly he just steps back and lets you. he doesn’t feel the need to protect you at all, more so like protecting other people from you lmao 😭

these were mid asf but it’s 2 am 💔 i hope u enjoyed <33

[thefoxtherapist]

Inexperience

Scar found a new interest to obsess over, one who hasn't yet run away.

tags: gn!reader, some mild nudity is mentioned, 16+ type fic, a bit suggestive. scar is trans if you squint.

He couldn't help his needy obsessive behaviour. Part of him wished he could, another part of himself convinced the first part that he was just like this and others had to respect that. But it had chased away his fair share of interests. Too much. He'd been told. He didn't personally think so, but then, he considered those that left to be weak. Not worth his time after all.

But you were different, at least he hoped you were different. His latest obsession. He wanted to be close to you at all times, rarely leaving your side. Even when you went places he couldn't follow, he just made himself less visible. You'd given him the time of day and now he had to trail you like a puppy.

A lost little lamb following a pretty shepherd. Though he'd never admit that.

“Can I come over tonight?”

“You've been over every night since two weeks ago.”

Scar raised a white brow, he didn't get the correlation. “I want to be with you!” His body was pressed against your arm, he rarely left your side, constantly invading your personal space bubble. Mismatched eyes looked down at you, his smile soft, expression pleading. You could almost forget what group he belonged to.

Almost.

“Fine..”

And his face lit up, his chuckle was pitched, slightly manic. But you were used to his strange behaviour. His chest was pressed against your arm, but he brought a gloved hand up to take your hand, intertwining his clawed fingers with yours. He always made a point to cling to you, you couldn't leave his side if he held onto you.

You wouldn't call Scar a partner, but you were quickly beginning to think that was his end goal. That or recruitment, you weren't sure. White and red locks tickled your cheek as he brought his head close to yours, glaring at somebody you hadn't even noticed was approaching. Before you could say anything he outright growled at them, causing them to clear their throat and quickly hurry away.

“Scar.”

“Yes, little lamb~?” He cooed right in your ear, face unnecessarily close to yours.

You sighed. 

“Nothing, let's head back to my place.” You were done with your shopping anyway. Scar stood straight, grip tightening on your hand. He held his free hand out though, taking one of your grocery bags from you. He could at least pretend to be somewhat considerate.

He didn't even threaten anybody else on the way back! An improvement.

Scar even helped you unload your groceries, but the moment you were done he grabbed you. The Resonator easily picked you up, holding you as he carried you to your living room. You just let him do as he pleased. He had proven himself not to be a threat, to you, at least. 

You let out a small sound as he dropped you on the couch. You didn't have time to reposition before he was on top of you, his legs between yours, arms on either side of you, face buried against your neck. Scar sighed into your neck, rubbing his face against your skin like a dog. 

You brought your hands up, running your fingers through his messy unbrushed hair. Scar made a sound you could almost compare to a purr, seemingly pleased as you touched him back. His need to be wanted shone through as he pressed his body as snugly against yours as he possibly could. 

Scar exhaled softly, layers of fabric still separated him from you. And even after that, there was skin. “I could just crawl inside of you and never leave.” He murmured in a daze, mouth moving before his brain did. But instead of freaking out, you laughed, petting his head.

“You don't have to go that far.”

“No?” He lifted his head slightly, face mere centimeters away from yours. His eyes stared into yours, shiny and desperate. You stared back into his eyes and he ran a tongue over his lips. “How far can I go?” Before I scare you away.

You quirked an eyebrow at him, even his tone was desperate. You knew he didn't date much, so you hadn't expected him to be so… 

He pressed his body harder into yours and your train of thought went off the rails. “You really want to be touched that bad, huh?” You teased but Scar averted his gaze, and for a second, you swore the tacet mark on his throat flickered. You could almost feel the reverberation of the frequencies wafting off of him. His emotions were louder than his mouth.

Scar seemed surprised when you struggled with his clothing, trying to find out how in the world it was supposed to come off. And that was without his outer coat on, the fabric hung up beside the door. 

“Do you need help?”

“How in all of Sol-Three- what are you wearing??”

His laugh was shaky, uncertain. He'd never gotten this far and it didn't take a genius to figure that out. Scar had to get off of the couch, stand to strip his heavy layers of white, red, and grey off his body. You gave him some privacy, respectfully averting your eyes as he got to his lowest layers. 

Another ‘oof’ escaped you as he fell on top of you again. Shirtless but he kept his underwear on. And his socks. Of course he kept his socks on. 

“Your turn.”

“You're on me.” He seemed to realise his mistake with your comment. An annoyed sigh escaped him as he sat up, pitifully staring at you. You carefully stripped as well, thankful the temperature in your apartment was somewhat average. 

As you let your shirt drop to the floor you eyed his chest, unsurprised to see an array of scars. Depths, lengths, types even. Under his chest, over his ribs, a large one like the one on his face visibly came up from his hip. 

“Kind of looks like a cat face.” You commented as you poked the centre of the scars just under his chest. Scar snickered, taking your hand and kissing your fingertips instead.

And with that, he pushed you back down, resuming his position on top of you. Instead of burying his face against your neck though, he instead rubbed his throat against your shoulder. Your arms wrapped around his waist, fingers trailing up his bare scarred back. You brought one leg up between his instead, shifting slightly to be in a more comfortable position.

You listened as Scar's breathing grew heavier and you could only imagine it had something to do with the way he kept rubbing his tacet mark against your bare skin. “Needy..” You muttered, but you weren't particularly annoyed. No it was instead endearing seeing somebody so powerful reduced to a needy sheep.

His hair tickled your skin as he swallowed thickly, soft pants escaping his lips. You were almost certain of your earlier assumption. And when he began to rub himself against your leg between his. You were entirely certain. You dug your fingers into his skin, putting pressure on his flesh as he used your body with clear inexperience. 

Scar was going to learn some experience tonight, though. You were both sure of that.

[olderthannetfic]

seeing the hatred and fake-claiming makes me... sad, for lack of a better word. I have been a system for a very, very long time; I had the first inklings of it in middleschool when I was so severely depressed and lonely and shrouded in feelings of worthlessness that my brain did literally whatever if could to let me survive. I didn't tell anybody, because i was solidly convinced it was JUST an overactive imagination, and i definitely couldn't be one of those ~sick~ people who ~REALLY~ had mpd. because my only real exposure to the idea had been fucked up jokes and horror movies, and i was an athiest at the time(so the more spiritual explanations didn't sound real to me), it seemed too far away to be possible. in highschool the mental dam broke. i got FLOODED with headmates after the idea of "it's not normal for your ~imaginary friends~ to act on their own and occasionally take control of your body for you" finally sunk in, and it was scary, and i STILL stayed silent on it outside of a very small friend group, because i was terrified - above all else - that i would be sent to the looney bin. because that's what you DID with mpd, right? even if it wasn't hurting anybody? because they're crazy? well, i've spent most of my adult life learning more about how different systems operate and how MINE operates, and I have to say.... it's the best thing that could have happened for my mental health. yes, it was scary. because of how we are TREATED by the media and the average person. yes, it is a little odd seeing youngsters be so open about it in such a celebratory way, because i don't understand how they aren't scared. but i am GLAD they aren't. my system is my family, moreso than the blood i share in meatspace, and they keep me safe and loved when everything is falling to pieces. and if that hasn't been your own experience, i am genuinely sorry that you're going through that, and i hope you can all learn to live together more peacefully as time passes. but fuck no i am not going to tell the kid with 18 sonics in their head that they're ~definitely faking~ just because they're fucking excited to share it. there are much worse characters to introject over and over again, and every introjection has its reasoning; even the shitty ones who makes your life harder. my early life was eaten up by my TRAUMA and my DEPRESSION, not the fucking headmates that helped me get through it. and i am so, so thankful that my therapist understands that, and i wish every system young and old that you be safe and in a good place to heal. and most of all, i hope if you're a system reading this - DID, OSDD, undiagnosed, reincarnation, whatever - that you don't believe the singlet bullshit that they push on us. full integration is not a realistic goal for most of us, and that is not just okay - for those who have learned to work together, it can be better that you'll never be one solid person. stay safe, stay loved, and keep your bitter comments to yourselves.

--

[biblio-smia]

you're everything i want (plus everything i need) - [ethan landry x reader]

pre - ghostface / no ghostface alternate! no spoilers for scream 6!

masterlist | requests are open!

pairing: ethan landry x gender neutral reader

notes: brief makeout sessions, ethan landry is so so so in love

Ethan Landry was not one to ask for things, no matter how badly he wanted them. Ethan Landry was the type to sit with his desires until someone guessed what was on his mind or his wants were ignored long enough that they flickered out.

Ethan Landry had never known what it was like to have all of his needs suddenly fulfilled — until you came along.

Something in you, whether it was intuition or an acute attention to detail, allowed you to understand Ethan Landry perfectly. Whether it was tapping his fingers on the closest surface or nervous glances sent your way, you knew what Ethan Landry wanted without him ever having to open his mouth.

It was obvious when Ethan began liking you, something you picked up on quickly despite only knowing him a short time — you could almost pinpoint the exact moment. The way his eyes would always shift to see your reaction after he made a joke, the way he would only ever speak to you even in group settings; Ethan Landry gave himself away too easily.

It was fun, until you realized the nervous looks and shy smiles that left Ethan flustered weren't going to amount to anything else — at least, not from Ethan.

If it was anybody else you would've given up, frustrated from the lack of progress. But your friends, who knew Ethan just a little better than you did, encouraged you to be patient with the boy who had never been in a relationship.

Ethan Landry was painfully oblivious to any signs that a person like him — yet you fell for him anyway.

You took the initiative after a month of a frustratingly slow back-and-forth with Ethan, texts exchanged almost everyday. When you weren't texting you were hanging out, and although it was always in a group setting, it did not deter you from your mission — you knew how nervous Ethan could get when he was alone with you.

It had only happened once when Tara, Chad, and Mindy suddenly canceled on dinner, leaving you and Ethan. You had already gotten ready and you were starving, so you dragged Ethan despite his hesitance. The poor boy was a mess, barely getting a word out without stuttering. He couldn't face you the entire night, hammering in your suspicion that he liked you.

His crush on you was obvious, but you weren't going to tell Ethan that. You let things progress slowly, for his sake.

You thought he was going to black out when you asked him out, officially. It seemed out of the blue to him, catching him by surprise and giving him no time to calm the pounding of his heart. He could barely get a response out but it was unnecessary — you already knew what it would be.

It was awkward, at first. The two of you would sit in silence, hands kept to yourselves. Despite the relationship you were in, it was difficult to navigate what the other wanted with no verbal cues.

Again, you took the lead.

The two of you were watching a movie that Ethan was completely invested in — until you scooted closer to him, shoulder-to-shoulder and thigh-to-thigh. You felt Ethan stiffen at your touch, a flush on his face. You smiled, placing your hand on top of Ethan's, which was balled into a fist on his thigh.

"You can hold my hand," you whispered and Ethan nodded, opening his hand to take yours. He brought his other hand over to lay on top of yours, telling you he wanted you. He was terrified that his lack of experience would scare you away or bore you — maybe that was a little too much to say with just the touch of your hand. Ethan no longer cared about the movie, his attention moving from it to you with every touch of your skin against his.

You leaned more into Ethan and he tried to relax, a goal he knew was impossible. He wasn't capable of it when you were so close to him, setting his body aflame while you held hands.

"Ethan," you started and Ethan was almost afraid you were able to read his thoughts. "I want you to kiss me."

Ethan looked over at you slowly, swallowing thickly while he scanned your features for any sign of a joke. There weren't any and Ethan would've stuttered out something stupid if he were still able to speak.

"Only if you want to," you said sincerely. "Do you want to?"

Ethan nodded carefully, eyes falling to your lips. He was growing more anxious by the second. Were his lips chapped? Did his breath smell?

"I need you to say it, baby," you said, the pet name slipping out unintentionally.

Ethan was convinced you wanted to kill him.

"Yes," he muttered. "Yes, please."

You smiled at the confirmation, free hand moving to rest on Ethan's face.

"You're so cute," you mumbled. "Close your eyes."

Ethan did as he was told, shock hitting his system once he felt your lips on his. It was slow and gentle, just like you always were with him. He didn't know what to do, sitting there like an idiot. You broke the kiss and Ethan felt guilty.

"When I kiss you, I want you to lean into me a little, okay? Just relax."

You kissed Ethan again, guiding his head a little. His lips and skin were soft — he was a craving you could never get enough of. You smiled as he sighed happily against your lips.

You pulled back and Ethan chased your lips, noses bumping as he kissed you more passionately. You guided his hand, still clasping yours, to your hip. You closed the distance as you leaned into Ethan, hand moving to tilt his head back. A small noise escaped him and you giggled.

You climbed on to Ethan's lap, gently wrapping his arms around you. You sat there, just looking at him looking at you in the dim lighting, your hand twisting one of his curls gently.

"That was my first kiss," Ethan confessed softly.

"How was it?"

"I think my heart's gonna explode." Ethan grinned, bright teeth making an appearance.

You laughed, thumbing over the blush on Ethan's cheek.

"Wanna keep going?" You asked cautiously and Ethan nodded, gently tugging you closer as he leaned up to meet you halfway.

「 ... 」

Admittedly, Ethan became a little complacent — all he had to do was look at you a certain way or tug on you and you knew what he wanted. He no longer had to stammer out his wishes for a hug or a kiss from you that sent him into a furious blush every time. He could get those things without the embarrassment of asking.

Like right now, for example.

A soft breeze filtered in your cracked window, harsh afternoon light illuminating your dorm. The wind was picking up, sending a chill through the small room. You didn't move to close it; Ethan would warm you up.

You were sprawled out on your bed, laptop and notebooks spread out in front of you. Finishing up homework with Ethan was the task of the day — Ethan was sat at your desk in a situation similar to yours, pens scattered all over the surface. You submitted your final assignment (for now) and sighed happily. You shut your laptop quietly and turned your head to admire your boyfriend.

Ethan was wearing a plain black t-shirt that fit his frame perfectly and some gray sweatpants that were a little too short on him. A casual outfit for a casual hangout. He sat slightly hunched over his laptop, fingers typing furiously. He groaned, deleted something, then kept typing. You stifled a laugh.

Ethan kept typing. His arms flexed as he paused, then continued. The sun bounced off Ethan's soft brown curls, highlighting the moles that dotted his face. The curve of his nose, his sharp jaw. You smiled. He was pretty.

A few more clicks. Ethan shut his laptop, slumping back into his seat with a content sigh. He suddenly felt a pair of eyes boring into him and he turned to face you. "What are you staring at?" He asked, growing shy under your steady gaze.

You just smiled. The answer was obvious.

"Come here," you motioned, picking up all your things and setting them on the desk.

Ethan got up, kneeling onto your bed. You met him halfway, catching him in a warm kiss.

"Come here," you repeated once you separated, stretching your legs out and motioning to your lap. Ethan placed his head on your lap, like you knew he loved to do. Your hands moved to his hair, fingers twisting through his curls, messing them up even more.

Ethan hummed. He didn't mind. His eyes closed, relishing in the feeling of you playing with his hair. It was growing longer, almost getting in the way of his eyes. Your fingers moved down, ghosting over the light spray of freckles adorning Ethan's nose and under his eyes. They were always darker during the summer.

Days like these were hard to come by, the two of you either doing schoolwork until it was dark or caught up in plans with your friends. Ethan was still too nervous to do anything more than hold hands or get a goodbye kiss in front of your mutual friends, a little embarrassed at how needy he was for you. Though, he refused to let go of you for too long at any given time. It was almost pathetic how he needed a hand on you or a hand on him anyplace he went.

Ethan's eyelashes fluttered as his eyes opened. He gave you a look, his eyebrows raising ever-so-slightly as his lips parted. Your lips landed on his in silent understanding.

Ethan Landry was never a beggar but he would gladly beg for you and he would be grateful for any inch he could get. His craving for skin ship existed before you but changed to exist solely for you. Ethan was positive there was no one else who could do what you did in the way you did it, your hands and your lips working like magic on his body. It was no longer a want but a need for you, one that only grew stronger each day.

You knew this. You pressed another kiss onto Ethan's lips, then another.

Only a few whispers were exchanged, ghosts of words that left goosebumps on Ethan's skin. You frowned at the sight.

You backed up to lean against your pillows, guiding Ethan to lay against you, encouraging him to rest his weight against you. He was always nervous, but truthfully, he was your personal weighted blanket. You wrapped your arms around him, creating a trap he didn't want to get out of. Ethan rested his head on your shoulder and relaxed against you. You leaned down to press kisses against his cheek, his jaw, his neck. Ethan turned his head and was rewarded.

He pulled himself flush against you, limbs tangling in a mess of love. It was a new type of love that he had never experienced before, your affection fulfilling everything he ever needed and more. Your body was home and your lips spread the message of adoration for him.

Ethan leaned up and kissed you, arms leaving their place around your body to pull your head closer. His hair ticked your face and your teeth crashed a little, but Ethan got the hang of it as he tilted your head back with passion. There were words on his lips that couldn't make it out, so they were stamped onto your lips instead. You could see the love in his eyes every time he looked at you, only getting stronger each time. That was more than enough for you.

Ethan kissed your shoulder as he wrapped himself around you again, your fingers drawing pictures on the warm skin, under his shirt.

Ethan could die in your arms if it always felt like this.

[kira-broflovski]

main 4 boys hcs: seeing you come back after you moved away

note: this set of hcs is really similar to a kyle fic i have in my drafts already 😭 but im glad you guys are enjoying my writing :)

STAN ☆

when he heard there was a "new girl" in school he didn't think much of it, and you weren't in his first class so it didn't really bother him.

he didn't even recognise you when the teacher called your name for the register in his second period class. was it really you?

"Y/N?" He whispered out of shock.

"Hi, Stan." You had whispered back with a smile, making a familiar sense of nausea come back to him.

the two of you spent the whole of class chatting; catching up.

^ that landed stan into detention, but he didn't care. you only didn't get detention because the teacher didn't want to scare you off on your first day.

stan didn't care though, it was totally worth it when he got your number and socials.

he couldn't resist texting you while he was in detention. your presence through the phone was enough to keep him going, and the endless conversation made the hours go by quickly.

after you got closer, he invited you to a soccer (football) game that he was playing in this weekend. of course he spent most of the game showing off when he spotted you in the crowd, and he worked hard to make sure his team won.

when he scored a goal, adrenaline was coursing through his veins. without thinking he ran up to where you stood in the stands and kissed you on the cheek, to then run back and continue playing.

that was only the beginning of the romance.

KYLE ☆

he went to school that morning, he was confused as to why people were talking about you.

i mean, you moved away from south park years ago. did people really miss you that much? he couldn't blame them, he probably missed you the most out of anyone.

it wasn't until lunch when jimmy went up to kyle.

"Your little girlfriend is back. Aren't you gonna talk to her?"

"Huh?"

"Dude, Y/N?" Jimmy was surprised at Kyle's confusion. "You don't know?"

"Know what?" Kyle was starting to worry people were playing a cruel joke on him.

"Oh my god, Y/N is b-back." Jimmy began, "I thought you would be the first to know?"

"No?" Kyle looked at his friends in disbelief. "Where is she right now?"

"She's outside talking to-"

poor jimmy couldn't even finish his sentence before kyle sprinted outside to see you. he really hoped it wasn't a joke, otherwise he'd never recover from being made to look like such an idiot.

he ran outside to find you just saying goodbye to butters, and he couldn't believe his eyes. he was so happy to see you he almost cried.

he called your name and you looked over at the familiar voice. you were so relieved to see none other than kyle broflovski himself.

"we should probably leave them two lovebirds alone for a little while."

KENNY ☆

kenny heard that a family had moved into the house you used to live in, and he was pissed off to say the least.

he treated your old house like a sacred ground as nobody had lived there since you had moved out.

he sometimes snuck into the back garden when he needed to get away from everything, or when he really missed you. he made sure any plants you had grown yourself were still alive, in the seemingly unlikely event you did return.

what he didn't know is that your family owned this house and didn't let anybody move in because you all knew you'd return to south park at some point.

he marched over to that house to see exactly who it was, but he noticed that there wasn't even a moving van, just two brand new cars.

To say the least, he was fuming. He was ready to raise hell on these people. Even if it wasn't actually called for, and he was just upset his memories of you would be ruined by them.

He didn't even hear commotion inside, telling him that this new family had already settled in. How dare they!?

The door opened and he was ready. He looked up at the mystery person only to see... your mom?

"Oh, Kenny! It's so good to see you." She smiled down at him. His burning anger turned into complete confusion. "Y/N! Your old friend is here to see you already!"

he could feel his heart racing again, but this time out of anticipation.

when he saw you, he felt that sense of peace you always gave him and he immediately felt his cheeks get hot when you pulled him into a welcoming hug.

after all that time, when he would spend hours just sitting in the garden he now knew it was worth it.

and after all those hours of catching up, you walked him all the way home and even up to the doorstep.

you said you were glad to see him again, before you kissed him on the cheek and made your way back home.

"WOOHOO!!"

ERIC ☆

i imagine he'd be like kyle where he wouldn't realise until somebody said to him you were back. only difference is he would attempt to act as if he didn't care.

you were in all of his classes when kyle asked if he had seen you yet.

of course this confused eric and claimed kyle was just being stupid again when he said you were back.

"Shut up, Kyle! You're just trying to make me look stupid in front of everyone." Eric shouted.

"I swear she's here, ask literally anyone in our grade and they'll say she is back!"

It was constant back and forth, until Eric heard somebody say his name.

To which he screamed, "what!?"

you couldn't tell at the time, but he felt bad for screaming in your face like that.

he remembers having a massive crush on you, but he got angry that you left without telling him.

when he stared straight into your eyes, he couldn't stay angry for long.

you gave him your new number so you could catch up when you had more time, and he simply watched as you walked away.

"I told you so, fatass!"

[diabolik-art-blog]

I owe everyone a big apologies. For disappearing suddenly and leaving my novel. I don't know if my followers are still active or not. I just sometimes checked my friends. Now it's time for my confession. I used exams as an excuse to justify my long absence from this fandom. But the issue was much bigger. The truth was that I was mentally unstable. The reason was the bad behavior I received from someone in this fandom. I always thought that when adults are in a fandom, their goal is to have fun, not to threaten each other. Maybe you consider my behavior childish or tell me that I should not make a big deal about such a small issue. But please understand that not all people can be as strong as you. Maybe some people are sensitive, especially when they receive a threat from someone because their favorite ship is different. I don't like to mention anyone's name because I don't want this drama to be big, but this person has hurt my friends before too. There is absolutely no way to justify this person's bad behavior. This person imposes their opinions on others and even threatens others. Now you can understand why I was mentally unstable.

In any case, I thought a lot. My decision was to leave the fandom without telling anyone. I even decided to stop my activity slowly so that no one would notice my absence. I even briefly went back to an old blog of mine that was for the Miraculous fandom, but now I realized something. DL is not the first fandom that I worked in, so at first I thought that I did not belong to it, but when I was away from DL, I realized that DL fandom was like home for me. I've been in a lot of fandoms before, but none have brought me as much joy as DL. Maybe the reason is Yui. Yui gives me the feeling of life. So far no MC has given me.

That's why I realized that even if I try to stay away from DL, Yui will still bring me back. She takes me back home. DL has always been like home to me. I decided to come back. I want to continue my novel again. But the previous events still remain in my mind and scare me a little. That's why I want to turn off the anon box for now. I hope you understand that I mentally need to do this work.

And I want to thank my friend Irsa @its-irsaa-fyp . I have already discussed this problem with her. She was the only one who knew, but I hid everything from her after that because I didn't want her to be upset more than that. I wish this fandom was full of people like her. Sweet and kind hearted. Thank you for being my friend. I really love you sweetie <3.

I'm back both mentally and physically. I love Yui. I can't leave her. I love my friends. I can leave them. I love my home. DL is always my home and I can't leave it.

I don't know how many people are waiting for my novel and if anybody cares. Soon I will start continuing it. I love you :3

[redux-iterum]

man. i really do love the way you’ve handled tigerclaw— he’s still a bastard, but he’s a bastard who GENUINELY thinks he’s doing right by his clan, his family. the shift in motivation from “i want to conquer the whole forest as a tyrannical dictator” to “i want to isolate thunderclan from its neighbors so it can be restored to it’s former glory and flourish” is WAY more impactful, imo. i also think there’s something to be said about how he’s (maybe) willing to exempt fireheart— whose entire character has been about BUILDING bridges between thunderclan and the rest of the forest— from his hitlist and make a hypocrite of himself because he and goldenflower have a fondness for him. i choose to believe that tigerclaw is still proud of the way fireheart stands up for what he believes in, even if it is conflicting with his own goals.

tldr; loving the direction of this so far. thank you guys for all your hard work!! looking forward to my heart continually being broken in the future <3

Figured answering these two together would be ideal.

It’s excellent to hear the enthusiasm and kind words, thank you! I’ve been stowing away this discussion about Tigerclaw and Fireheart for a while, and now I get to blather!

People have brought up that Tigerclaw choosing not to hurt Fireheart is unusual, since Fireheart’s the one that’s soft to outsiders and has been on track to softening the entire Clan as well, and Tigerclaw is against that. The reason for this requires a bit of a tangent.

Tigerclaw initially was a bit emotionally distant with all his Clanmates, save Goldenflower (for the most part). Not in the sense of “I don’t care about any of you”, but more like “I care about you, but I’m not so attached that I can’t kill you to save everyone else”. He’s had the thought in his mind for years that he could be a better leader than the one everyone already loves, that these cats had impaired judgement and couldn’t do what needs to be done, that he didn’t want to commit to having a family because that could get in the way of his silent and righteous crusade. He cared for his Clanmates, but his heart was careful not to get too close to anyone, even, to a very small extent, Goldenflower. What if he needed to put her out of the way too?

And then Fireheart happened.

Initially, Tigerclaw didn’t care about him. It’s some kittypet who has a tiny bit of potential. Big whoop. He was under the category of “to be Handled if he gets too uppity and does the wrong thing”, and Tigerclaw expected he’d stay there forever. That was fine and easy, even if Goldenflower got attached to him. He could kill Lionface if he needed to, why would he be unable to take out a shrimpy outsider just because his mate likes him?

The thing is, Fireheart’s got this annoying little talent of drawing out people’s kindness and affection without even trying. We’ve seen his own gentle, broad love for everyone around him, even those he just met and knows nothing about beyond them needing help from a stranger. He is overflowing goodness and fondness and empathy in a somewhat compact ginger body, and you can’t break that or scare that out of him. And somehow, with that infallible bravery to keep being kind and polite, he manages to worm his way into the core of another cat and soothingly convince them, even unconsciously, to offer a nice word to someone they don’t like, or maybe ask a Clanmate if they’re doing okay when they think they don’t care, or even just blink trustingly to calm a frightened and starving outsider they should be chasing away. It’s difficult to catch him doing it, but as we’ll see in the rest of the series, it’s a gradual, unstoppable infection.

This talent is what made everyone (well, except for Darkstripe, but he doesn’t like anybody) so fond of him, even if they preemptively think he’s just a dumb kittypet who needs to toughen up. Frostfur is a good example: she went from apathy and disdain to offering him silent support when he brought Cloudkit home and actively partaking in conversation with him when he approached her, just over the course of this book. All he had to do was, like I said, be kind and polite, and he gradually broke down even her walls. Charred Legacy, the next book, will go more into this, so I’ll save the details for now, but my point is that Fireheart is really damn good at making his Clanmates and friends care about him and others.

How troubling (and mildly amusing) it was to Tigerclaw to find that he wasn’t exempt from this. And how amazed he was to find that coming to care for this little outsider his mate was eager to adopt opened up a whole new world for him. Maybe having kits wasn’t so bad. Maybe he could be a father and still do what he needed to do, and maybe his family didn’t need to get hurt in the process. Maybe Goldenflower was more precious to him than he realized, and maybe Fireheart was someone he could see as a son, and be proud to do so.

What Tigerclaw failed to account for is that attachment complicates things. You might have to kill someone – but no, now you come up with excuses not to. They’re just misguided, you can fix them with a couple conversations. You don’t have to take them out. They’re your family! And your family is important! Surely you can let them live, just these particular cats. You can change their minds. They’ll understand and appreciate your goal in time. It’ll be just fine, you know it.

And so it went, deeper and deeper, until his twisted mind was able to justify not hurting Fireheart ever, solely because he’s his son, and his son deserves to live no matter what. In the same way he thought of his more “dangerous” Clanmates as a liability even if they didn’t really do anything wrong, he thought of his mate and son as essential to ThunderClan, even if they went against his ideals.

He never did see the hypocrisy in that. And even to the end, he never even dreamed of hurting Fireheart.

That’s his son, you know?

[rememberdamonn]

Well written characters have a core conflict that consists of a goal that the character wants/needs to achieve, and an obstacle that gets in the way of that goal. For Damon, that core conflict is Love vs. Fear. His goal is love - to be loved, to have love. The obstacle that gets in the way of that goal is his own fear - fear of being abandoned/betrayed/rejected, fear of not being enough, fear of letting people down, fear of losing his loved ones... in short, fear of losing love. Every majorly bad decision that Damon makes, he makes either in reaction to or in anticipation of that fear being realized. When he kills Jeremy in S2, and Aaron in S5? He does it because he’s just been abandoned and rejected by Elena/Katherine. When he hides the cure from Elena in S6? He does it because he’s afraid that if she becomes human he’ll lose her. When he feeds Elena his blood in S2? He does it because he’s afraid he’ll lose her in the sacrifice. These seeds are planted throughout the entire show. In 4x15 when Damon sires Elena to turn off her humanity (another thing he does out of fear), Stefan tells him that it was a mistake because despite Elena losing her brother, she still has Damon. Damon’s reply? “I’m not enough.”

There's a conversation that Stefan and Damon have in 7x22 that lays it all out neatly:

Stefan: You really think I did the right thing by taking Caroline against her will?

Damon: One hundred percent.

Stefan: You said that's how you know you love someone. And for a second there, I actually believed you. I thought that my love for Caroline was so strong that I would do anything to protect it. But then I realized, that's not love, Damon. That's fear. That night that you put yourself down, it wasn't because you love Elena. It was because you were afraid if you didn't, you would do something terrible, and you would lose her forever. And that fear was so powerful that it overrode any love that you felt for me, or Bonnie, or anybody else. I refuse to be ruled by fear. I refuse to be you.

In 7x10 when Damon is forced to face the truth while in the Phoenix Stone, he tells his mother, “Give me a chance to let you love me.” This is representative of Damon’s entire journey throughout the show. Damon doesn’t let people love him because he’s scared that they won’t. That’s why he tells Elena in 3x19 that he doesn’t want to have to live up to anyone’s expectations, and he tells Bonnie the same thing in 8x10 when he reads her his letter. Damon’s self sabotage and his insistence on pushing everyone away is a product of the fear of what will happen if he lets people love him - but by giving into that fear, he ensures that he’ll never get what he wants most.

In order for Damon to have a successful, satisfying ending, he has to 1) overcome his fears. He does this in 8x16 when he attempts to self-sacrifice for the right reasons, in direct contrast to his self sacrifice in 7x22 for the wrong reasons - a sacrifice he makes out of fear:

“There is a girl waiting outside for you, and if you go in there with me and get all screwed up, you're gonna have problems with her, and you're gonna blame me.” - Damon to Stefan, 7x22 (S7 is written to be a tragedy but that’s another post)

And 2) he gets the chance to let himself be loved. That’s why Delena has to be endgame. Damon finally getting a chance to let himself be loved is central to his character in a way that makes any other ending a tragedy for him.

So what about Stefan? Stefan’s goal is Choice. The same way that Damon has lost in love, Stefan has repeatedly had his choices taken from him. Katherine takes Stefan’s choice away when she compels him, bloodlust takes Stefan’s choice away when he becomes a ripper, Klaus takes Stefan’s choice away when he enslaves him. This is why Stefan is so protective of Elena’s ability to choose, and it’s also why narratively, Stefan’s worst crime is taking Damon’s choice away when he forced him to become a vampire. Morally, it’s far from the worst thing Stefan has done, but thematically it’s the misdeed that matters the most. That’s why it’s brought up again and again.

The obstacle that’s getting in the way of Stefan’s Choice is Vampirism. Whether it’s his own or someone else’s, Stefan can’t choose the life he wants to have or the person he wants to be without vampirism getting in the way. For Stefan to have a successful, satisfying ending, he has to 1) reconcile his relationship with vampirism. He does this by escaping his vampirism when he’s cured. And 2) he has to have the opportunity to choose. That’s why human Stefan is immediately on vervain, and that’s why he maintains the ability to choose to sacrifice himself even after Damon attempts to compel him in 8x16. Is it the best way to have Stefan accomplish his goal? Personally, I don’t think so. I would’ve preferred to see him accept his vampirism rather than escape it, and I would’ve preferred for him not to die. But in a finale where one brother makes a choice to sacrifice himself and the other brother gets the girl, it’s clear which has to be which for their arcs to resolve in a thematically satisfying way.

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 39- How Much You're Loved

Chapter Summary: Jen is in the hospital, after collapsing from exhaustion while ARMY trends positive messages for her on Twitter. The members think of memories and thoughts when they first met her

Words: 7,000+

Genre: FLUFF with all the members! Sweet chapter.

Author's Note: Just a random thought as I edited. I'm not a shipper for BTS or ship anyone with anybody in K-Pop but you know how people ship Jimin and Jungkook? Or just absolutely love their bond together and make tons of videos and content about them? I feel like people would do that with Jennie and Taehyung, having those two be the most shipped together. I love their friendship. And rereading and editing through the part about him and her really got me thinking a lot about their bond. It's truly sweet. Also I think my admiration for him and him being my bias in BTS is also a factor hehe. Truly the best.

----

“I don’t get why you would want to go to South Korea.”

“What do you mean why? Why not?”

“I just...don’t think it would be wise. It’s right by North Korea. It’s dangerous.”

“It’s dangerous everywhere.”

“You could get kidnapped or something.”

“You can get kidnapped anywhere, unfortunately."

“I’m sorry, I can’t support this.”

“Are you serious? Please, Auntie, don’t discourage me.”

Jen stared at Aunt with a frown. Family came over for a big dinner, a little get together, and her mother proudly announced that she was going to Korea to become a trainee for Big Hit Entertainment. Of course, her family had no idea what that was, so Jen explained it was a company in the K-Pop industry and she always wanted to perform and work with that genre.

For some members, the news didn’t sit right, including her mother’s sister. 

For the other family members, they were supportive and thrilled that she still wanted to perform despite the rough ending with Amity. Perhaps if she stayed in America, they would react differently. They would be more supportive instead of reluctant.

“Maybe you should just stick to school and go to college like your sisters are aiming for.” Her Grandmother spoke out.

“Yes, she could do something with singing and dancing at school. Problem solved.” Her grandfather agreed.

“I feel as though she needs to think of a backup plan besides singing and dancing. She can’t do that forever. Proper education is a must. Go to Law school, like my dad.” An older cousin suggested as Jen fought the urge to roll her eyes.

She sighed and sat her fork down, losing her appetite to eat as she kept hearing various comments about her career goals.

Do this.

Go to this.

Learn this.

Go to this college.

Don’t go to Korea.

Don’t do this forever.

All you do is do this. Set your priorities straight.

Same.Old.Bull.Shit.

“She should stay in America. Your daughter will not survive being in a place like Korea.”

“I agree, she’s still a little girl. She’s going to be there all alone. Miles away. That’s emotionally draining. How could let her do this? I don’t want my niece to be in a country like that. Right near North Korea? Do you not know what they are doing over there?”

It’s like this world is driven by fear...why must fear stop us from doing what we want to do? Live, we only have one life. 

Jen’s mother did not hide her annoyance in her voice as she spoke, “Well, I am her mother and I support her. Whatever MY child wants to do, she’s going to do it.”

Her mother was in the same boat when she was Jen’s age. She wanted to do something different and did it, despite the family protests. She wanted Jen to do the same and never be discouraged.

“And are you really going to risk it?” Her sister questioned her reasons.

“You’re paranoid. Shit happens everywhere.”

“She’s going to be miles away!”

“She’ll be busy but we will all try to visit when we can. It’s going to be okay.”

“That distance? Are you sure you’ll be able to handle that? I’m just scared about her going to-“

“Would you cut it out? It’s final. She’s going. You’re not changing my mind.” Jen heard her mother snap.

It’s like when someone wants to think outside the box and do something different instead of family traditions, you’re automatically questioned. They’ll try everything they can to change your mind.

Jen broke that cycle.

-------

All seven of the boys were inside the hospital room while Jen was lying on the bed, still unconscious. The doctor was in the room with them, informing them of what happened. 

“She needs a lot of rest. Her body shut down due to exhaustion. And she has a concussion. She must’ve hit her head hard when she fell. We’ll run more tests later. The seven of you can wait in the waiting room. I can let you know when she wakes up.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Namjoon spoke up. “We’re gonna stay here with her until she wakes up.”

The doctor stared at them, astonished. “A-all seven of you?”

“Yes. I hope that won’t be a problem.” Jin smiled.

“A-Are you family?”

“Yes.” Yoongi’s deep voice was heard. Although not related by blood, they were still family to her. “We want to stay with her. We won’t cause any trouble.”

“Please.” Jungkook’s plea was heard as he looked at the doctor with desperation. He didn’t want to leave her. He wanted to stay with her until she woke up.

“A-all right.” The doctor accepted their request and took his leave.

The boys let out a sigh and made themselves comfortable around the room. Namjoon scrolled through his Twitter feed already seeing the K-Pop news headlines

‘BREAKING! Jennie from BTS collapses during dance practice.’

Angelina was quick to call him to ask how she was doing and he informed her of the details. She went out of her way to let Jen’s sisters know so they could let their parents know. Her sisters were freaking out but her parents remained calm on the outside yet obviously worried on the inside, trying to stay optimistic and were glad that it wasn’t anything worse.

This wasn’t the first time Jen had overworked herself and collapsed. Her mom resisted the urge to give her a lecture when she woke up like she did the first time back in the Amity days.

“This girl does not know what your body can’t run 24/7 means.” Her mom would vent. 

But she was glad it wasn’t anything worse and planned to send her a large box of snacks and other favorite food.

On Twitter, there were hashtags for Jennie, such as #GetWellJennie as ARMY came in defense of her against the Antis. The passion and support of ARMY were always underestimated and Antis found out the hard way.

‘Who do I have to kill!? Why are ya’ll ganging up on my girl Jennie!

#JennieProtectionSquad’

‘These antis can catch these hands! I hope she’s okay!’

Jimin’s talk with Jennie helped her ease up on the doubts from the Anti tweets, but she still felt like she should work harder. Thanks to growing insomnia, she couldn’t sleep much and she was so fixated on getting to dance practice early that she didn’t even eat any breakfast. That and the lack of rest was the main cause of this situation.

On Twitter, one of the more popular BTS fan accounts tweeted,

‘Let’s make an I Love Jennie tread. Keep replying to this tweet. I Love Jennie because she showed me that dreams do come true.’

‘I love Jennie because her smile warms my heart. I’ll have a bad day but once I see her, I cheer right up’

‘I love Jennie because she is a chocolate goddess. This black beauty deserves nothing but love. #WeLoveYouJennie

‘I love Jennie because she took the time to listen to my passion for singing during her singing exhibit and gave me advice.’

‘I love Jennie because she’s one of the kindest souls ever. I love this black queen!’

‘I love Jennie because her hair is goals and I’m looking forward to the day when she surprises us all with a new hair color’

‘I love Jennie because you can sing like a dying cat but when she harmonizes with you, it’ll sound nice!’

‘I love Jennie for her love for Ailee and I hope she gets to meet her and collab with her one day’

‘I love Jennie because she’s the wildcard of BTS and full of surprises. You learn and see something new from her from time to time that you never expected’

‘I love Jennie because of her cute cartwheel obsession. One day I hope she gets to do cartwheels on stage like she wants’

‘I love Jennie because of her special friendship with Yoongi. They’re like Yin and Yan’

‘I love Jennie because of how much she cares for her fans and members.’

‘I love Jennie because of how supportive she is and how she always yells, “THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” to Jungkook.’

‘I love Jennie because of how good her guitar skills are’

‘I love Jennie because she represents my ideal type’

‘I love Jennie because her friendship with Jungkook is goals. I wish I had her as a friend.’

‘I love Jennie because her laugh is infectious‘

‘I love Jennie because of how outgoing she is and she makes it seem like a breeze to talk to new people.’

‘I love Jennie because she’s BAE and seeing her happy makes my day a lot better’

‘I love Jennie because she’s humble and down to earth.’

‘I love Jennie because I know she has a lot of surprise talents up her sleeve as a Member of BTS and I can’t wait to see it. Falsetto? DJing?’

‘I love Jennie because of her friendship with Amber. They’re like twins!’

‘I love Jennie because she spoke out about being white washed and wanted to embrace her natural skin color. Show off that chocolate!’

‘I love Jennie because of her stunning visuals that are highly underappreciated’

‘I love Jennie because she’s the one with the curls representing the girls!’

‘Every BTS member is needed and talented! They each bring something unique to the group. #WeLoveYouJennie’

‘This is despicable. Social media should be fun, not hateful. Leave Jennie alone. #WeLoveYouJennie’

‘Jennie got me into K-Pop. As soon as I saw an African American in the K-Pop industry, I was skeptical but proved wrong by her efforts.’

‘She may not look like your average kpop idol based on beauty standards in Korea, but she’s certainly one of the prettiest girls I’ve seen.’

‘Whoever calls this precious munchkin ugly needs to get their eyes checked. #WeLoveYouJennie’

Angelina tweets, ‘You deserve so much more, sis. Stay strong. I love you. #WeLoveYouJennie’

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Jen felt herself regain consciousness. But she couldn’t open her eyes because her eyelids felt heavy, due to lack of sleep. She could hear the beeping noise, figuring that she was in the hospital. She mentally scolded herself for ending up here and the fact that she didn’t take better care of herself.

She already knew once she was able to move, she would feel just how bad her headache was thanks to hitting her head on the dance floor.

“Can you hear me?” She heard a deep voice next to her.

‘Yeah, I hear you Namjoon.’

“Ah...I started thinking. About our first moments together. Remember when you thought I hated you? You were intimated by me and my sunglasses.” He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

‘Oh God...’ She mentally groaned. ‘I’m kind of glad you don’t wear them anymore.’

----

“A girl in the group?!” Namjoon questioned in disbelief, unable to hide his frustration. “So, we have to wait longer?” He clenched his fists. He was seated with Bang PD when he broke the news to him.

It aggravated him.

He was already waiting so long to debut and now he had to wait longer because a girl was joining? Honestly, Namjoon wasn’t happy with the idea at first, mainly because he was so impatient and eager to debut, that he didn’t want to wait any longer because of another new member.

Bang PD had explained his reasons for making BTS a Coed group instead and he respected his wishes. Bang PD informed him to go to the audition in a few weeks to watch the girls perform, to observe them himself and to pick out who he thought would be the best as the Bangtan Girl. He was the leader after all.

When the audition day came, Namjoon walked in with an eager Taehyung who wanted to tag along to see this “Ennie.” person at the audition. His eyes, covered with his sunglasses, examined each girl who was auditioning until his eyes went to Jennie.

An interesting outfit choice, he thought as he checked out the Nike brand she wore. He guessed that maybe Nikes were her favorite since she showed it off a lot. Namjoon somewhat admired the effort of looking the part.

He watched with interest as the ladies performed the Bulletproof choreography. Each of the girls seemed to have the energy but some stood out more than others. Namjoon had his head down, listening to each of the girls’ verses when they had to perform their custom verse for Bulletproof.

Badda bing badda boom

Jennie’s here

I have no fear...so don’t try to stop me. Hah!

Tellin’ me your doubts...won’t change my mind

Jennie’s sudden rapping and passion in her voice, caused Namjoon to slowly look up at whose voice it belonged to as he continued to watch her with interest. Taehyung danced and nodded his head to her verse with a big smile on his face.

After she was done, everyone applauded her, as Namjoon nodded in approval, clapping himself. She had the potential as a rapper, although it was extremely clear that she was more of a singer. If she was interested and willing to learn, he was confident that Yoongi could transfigure her into a triple threat.

“Isn’t she awesome?” Tae commented with a boxy grin.

“You’ve met her before?”

“Yeah. That’s Ennie! Well, her name is Jennifer. She used to be a part of this group in America. But she left. She doesn’t like to talk about it. So, I leave the conversation alone. She’s very nice. I hope she’s Miss Bangtan. I love being around her.”

‘Jennifer, huh?’ He thought.

---

"MEET THE NEWEST MEMBER OF BTS! THE BANGTAN GIRL! JENNIE IS HERE!” 

Taehyung’s yell was heard at the entrance of the dorm as yells and happy screams of excitement were heard from the other members. Namjoon couldn’t help but smile.

As the dance practices went by, Jennie noticed Namjoon watching her closely and decided to have a chat with him after practice, alone. He doesn’t speak with her as much as she does with the other members. And she felt a weird vibe with him.

“I’m just going to say it. Do you hate me or something?”

Taken aback at her sudden question, Namjoon raised a brow. “What gave this reasoning?”

“Can you take your glasses off?” She requested and he took them off, looking at her in the eyes. “I just get this vibe and I’m wondering if I did something wrong.”

He let out a sigh and decided to say what was on his mind since she became Miss Bangtan. “I don’t hate you. I’m just very passionate about this. I dunno a lot about you. But from what I’ve heard, you left one group. I’ve been waiting a long time for BTS to debut. Members had come and go. Are you going to leave this one?”

Holding his stare with serious eyes, she replied committedly, “No. I won’t leave. And I’m not leaving. I know it was tough waiting to debut and all but I’m not going to back out, no matter how long the wait will be. I won’t come and go like the others. I’m here to stay, I’m here to work hard, and I’m here to grow a bond with you and the rest of the members. I want to grow with you guys.”

He took her words in and nodded. “I apologize if I gave you the intention of hating you. I don’t hate you, Jen.” 

She smiled and nodded. “Y’know, you’re kind of intimidating with the shades.” They share a laugh. “But you’re a chill guy and I admire your passion for this group and I hope that I can live up to the expectations. My body is always aching after every dance practice. This company has made me go to lengths I have never gone before and my body isn’t used to it yet. But don’t slow down because I’ll catch up. The pain, it’s worth it.”

And after their debut, Jen had pulled Namjoon to the side, wrapping her arms around him for a tight hug. “Thank you for not giving up on me and supporting me. You’re the best leader I could ever ask for.”

-----

“Thanks for not giving up on me as your leader. I know back in America, your leader was rough, but I’m happy that you’re happy here. You’ve grown a lot since our debut. I just really hope you take it easy next time. Go at your pace. Like you’ve been doing since you got here. The body can’t run 24/7 Jen. You gotta rest. We’ll be fine for our next comeback.” Namjoon patted her hand and stood up from the chair that was next to her hospital bed.

‘Namjoon...don’t make me cry, I don’t need this right now.’

“Sweetie?”

‘Mom...?’

“Can you hear me, sweetheart?”

‘Yes.’

“It’s Jin.”

‘Ha, thought it was my mom for a second...’

When Jin saw Jen fall to the floor, his parental instincts popped in as he went on the floor to help her. He was so worried for her wellbeing. He hadn’t expected her to drop down like that. He had a feeling she didn’t eat any breakfast because there were no dishes in the sink that day. She would usually eat her favorite brand of cereal that was shipped to her from America.

Honestly, when Namjoon and V informed him that BTS would have a girl in the group, Jin was all for it, already making plans to protect her and act like a parent. Although his parenting ways drove Jen bonkers, she knew he just cared deeply. 

While Jimin tweeted about Jennie being OK and resting in the hospital, Jin began to ponder about the time he helped her with her period.

-----

He heard noise from the laundry room and knew it was Jennie because of the pitch of her voice. He woke up early, planning on making breakfast for the dorm but couldn’t help but ponder if everything was okay with her.

“What am I gonna do-what am I gonna do-what am I gonna do!?” He heard her cry out in a hushed voice. Worried, he walked into the laundry room to see her fumbling with blood stained sheets as his nerves calmed down.

Period.

Nothing bad, thankfully.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” His deep voice startled her as she dropped the bloody bed sheets, turning around to face him anxiously. 

He knew she was embarrassed but she had no reason to be. He knew all about situations like this, he was in his 20s after all. He had this urge to parent her. He can only imagine being so far away from your family members.

Sure, he’s busy and doesn’t see his family often but at least he’s still in the same country. But with Jennie, he pondered how much of an emotional toll it sprung on her, being miles away, in another country. He wanted her to feel at home like her parents were still with her. So, he took on the motherly role, while Namjoon went on with the fatherly role. But then it soon became a habit, considering he was the oldest.

-----

The main thing Jin was worried about Jennie and even Jungkook was that they were both growing up too fast for his liking. What made him come to that reality was when the two of them performed for War of Hormone. That was just too adult. And it was probably going to get worse as they got older.

He just...wasn’t ready. When Jen gets a boyfriend and Jungkook gets a girlfriend, he hasn’t even thought of his reaction when he finds out. It seemed like just yesterday that she came in, with Taehyung in their dorm as she introduced herself.

“You, my preciousness, are growing up a little too fast for my liking,” Jin murmured as he placed a hand on her head.

‘Am I now? I’m not looking forward to your future freakouts.’ She thought with amusement.

“But I enjoy watching you grow into a young lady. Although the dancing can be kept at a TV-Y7...” He trailed off.

‘WOW, Jin...’

“Are you really scolding her while she’s asleep?” Yoongi grumbled.

“Jin, leave her alone.” Jimin groaned.

“What? I’m just...parenting.” Jin got up from his seat.

While the Hyung line went to get food, Taehyung checked on Jennie, as he let out a shaky, deep breath.

‘Taehyung...I can notice that deep voice anywhere. Have you been crying?’

He had been crying since she dropped to the floor. It killed him to see her like that, and it was something he hoped he would never have to see again. The only sight he wanted to see was her smiling and being happy. That was it. 

Tae could remember his meeting with her like it was yesterday. And ever since that day, he always thought of her as a little sister.

-----

He had just finished practicing in one of the dance studios where he noticed her, packing up her bag. He had never seen her before and assumed she was one of the new trainees.

She didn’t look Asian and had colored skin so he assumed that she was from another country as well. Being the eager, talkative person he was, he decided to make his way to her, with a boxy grin on his face.

“Hello~!” He happily greeted and she turned around to face him. Her hair was a big, puffy mess, thanks to the perspiration and exhaustion that was clearly shown on her face since she spent hours practicing. But her warm smile, caused him to grin even wider.

“H-hi! Are you talking to me?”

English, so was she from America?

Taehyung decided to go with his gut and his broken English skills to ask her if she was American. Despite his efforts to speak in English, she switched to Korean so he could communicate with her more comfortably.

He was astonished that she was training to be the Bangtan Girl and her positive interest in finding out that he’s a secret member of BTS, made him even happier. He was looking forward to BTS getting a female member and had secretly hoped that Jen would be the one.

They were inseparable after their first meeting, and the more they got to know each other, the more Taehyung hoped for her to get that Bangtan Girl spot. If another girl had gotten it, would he ever see her again? And if the BTS schedule starts to get fuller, would he even have time to keep in touch?

He didn’t want to lose a precious friendship such as this that he had with her.

As they both were secret members, before debuting, their friendship grew since they were forced to stay out of the Vlogs and other BTS videos. It made them upset that they had to stay on the sidelines while the rest of the members did their thing. Tae would often vent to her about how he

felt about it and she would always listen.

“I always wanted a brother. It’s just me and my two older sisters. It’s nice to be around girls but there are times where I wished what it would be like to be a sister to a guy.” Jennie had revealed to him as they lay in her bed, watching cartoons on her laptop.

A deep chuckle escaped Taehyung as he turned to her. “You already have brothers.”

“Huh?”

“Seven of them, actually.” He went on, looking at her in the eyes with a small smile. “We may not be related by blood but we’ll never leave your side. Sorry to tell you this, but, you’re stuck with us.” He giggled as he wrapped his arms around her, cheek to cheek, squeezing her tightly as she groaned at the pressure.

“Oh boy, what am I getting myself into?” She laughed with him.

------

“Please get better quickly,” Tae spoke up with sadness in his voice.

She hated it when he was upset. It was rare because he would always goof around. To hear him so sad, hurt her heart.

She soon heard another voice on her other side.

“Ennie. Do you understand how sad you make me feel when you’re like this?” Jimin asked. 

‘Sorry Chim.’

When he found out that they were getting a girl member, he was interested in the idea. When he met Jennie, he was drawn to her friendliness and was always eager to speak with her. Sure, he

would often tease her, pretending that they were a couple, promoting JenMin, but that was just part of who he was.

-----

He would like to steal her away since she would hang around the rest of his hyungs. So, one morning, he snuck into her room, diving right on top of her as she groaned under the covers, waking up immediately. 

“Get up~! We’re spending the day together!” He shouted as he snuggled into her.

“Let me sleep!” She yelled against her pillow.

“You’re usually up early! It’s morning! Rise and shine!”

“I stayed up late working with Yoongi.”

“Come on, get ready! Take a shower so we can hang out today! I’m tired of Yoongi hogging you, where’s our time together?” He moved off her so she could sit up.

“All right, all right.”

“You’re too slow.” He picked her up over his shoulder and placed her in her bathtub. As soon as he turned on the shower, she yelped at the sudden cold water, splashing on her skin.

“Jimin! You outta pocket!”

He giggled and ran out of the bathroom. He thought he should tick her off more often just for fun because her reactions would make his day.

-----

Backstage as they were shooting around the Red Bullet tour, Jimin decided to mess with the members with a camera. Jen tried to take a nap while sitting in one of the black chairs. She heard Jimin making these sound effects that Hobi would say and she opened her eyes to watch him mess with Hobi.

“Oh boy.” She let out a chuckle as she tried to go back to sleep. 

Soon after, she became the next victim, hearing his sound effects right by her as he started putting his fingers under her chin and on her neck. Ticklish, she let out a laugh but ended up snorting.

The sound of her snort gained the attention of the Maknae line and they all ended up laughing at her. It was rare that she would snort while laughing. And it just happened to be in front of the camera Jimin was holding.

“Oh my God, you got that on camera!?” She shouted in her native tongue, covering her mouth as she felt her face heat up. “Delete that! Oh my God, Jimin! Please! Delete that jawn now!"

Soon after her embarrassment died down, she went back to napping while Tae and Jimin began to DJ on Tae’s tablet. It looked like they were using an app. She had the sudden urge to play on it herself but ignored it.

“Jennie! Are you ready!?” Jimin started playing around with the tablet as he went over to dance in front of her, stepping over her and standing over her legs as her feet rested on a chair.

“Why did you come to me?” She laughed, trying to push him away.

“Show us your DJing!” Tae offered.

“As tempting as that may sound, I’m not ready to show it yet. But use the beat on that side while pressing those three buttons. It’ll give it a better beat. It’s a little of key.” She pointed it out. 

When they followed her instructions, they began to jam out to the beat, and the two of them began to dance around her.

“Boy, if you don’t get off me! I didn’t ask for a lap dance!” She lightly punched them in their stomachs as they laughed it off.

-----

“Don’t be discouraged, Ennie. You’re going to be just fine in BTS. Smile, live and don’t overwork yourself. I believe we have a bright future. All eight of us.” Jimin said with a smile.

“Ah, smartie. You’re stubborn as hell.” Yoongi watched her sleep.

He wasn’t a big fan of having a girl in the group at first. He thought it should’ve just been an all boy group and an all girl group if Bang PD was striving for that vision. He began to embrace the idea as he heard Taehyung speak highly of the girls who auditioned and Namjoon’s impression of the ladies.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

When he met her, he was genuinely surprised she was a foreigner, but he still accepted her just like the others. He watched her keep up with the intense pace of Mr.Son’s choreography and the dedication to making sure their debut was top notch. He admired her effort.

He knew for a long time that she wanted to learn more about rapping. The way she would watch him in admiration as he rapped, to the glances whenever someone spoke of rapping, he knew. He just waited for her to speak up. He watched the Rookie King episodes, he saw her confession about her admiration for him. He was flattered and made him feel joyful that someone was just as passionate about what he does.

Although he didn’t say thank you enough for the kind gestures, he was always appreciative.

-----

Back in the studio, Jen had found Yoongi asleep in the studio by his computer with headphones on his ears. They were supposed to have a rap session but she saw how exhausted he was and decided to gently wake him up.

“H-hey you’ll get a cramp. It’s not pleasant. Migrate to the couch.” She helped him move. 

As laid his back on the couch, she placed a blanket on him. She went to his chair and tried to work on the rap he told her to do for homework and found herself falling asleep after an hour.

When Yoongi woke up, he pondered how he got on the couch until he saw Jen asleep. 

“This girl.” He shook his head, amused as he stretched and approached her. “Smartie, you’re going to get a cramp.”

“Five minutes pop pop...” He heard her mumble

Smirking with amusement, he easily picked her up and placed her on the couch, throwing the blanket on her as she slept comfortably. He went back to work, putting his headphones in, periodically glancing back at her sleeping.

Yoongi even remembered when she was the first to notice how in pain he was because of his appendix rupturing.

“No, you’re in pain.” She declared.

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, you won’t be at all if you don’t check it out. Something is wrong. You should get it checked out.”

Although she annoyed him with the constant questioning, he ended up speaking up about it and was flown back to Korea to go to the hospital for surgery. She wanted to come with him but was advised that he would be okay and to just focus on promotions.

-----

“I never thanked you, did I? Thanks for reacting so quickly. I hope you know that I’m still waiting for you to DJ for me. I haven’t forgotten. Do I have to write on your face to make you show me your skills live?”

‘Gee, you are persistent.’

“Oh stop bothering her about that. She’ll show you when she’s ready.” Hobi commented.

Hobi was always driving Jen nuts with his usual, loud sound efforts. There were times when she would place her hands over his shoulders and stare at him straight in the eye, asking, “What-is the matter with you!?”

It took him a while to open up to the idea of yet another member joining the group, but once he met her, he was thrilled and hoped that she could handle the intensity of their dances.

------

He remembered the goofy day when the members were Nay-Naying. Jen stood by as the camera filmed Jimin and Tae bumping into each other.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

Jen ended up laughing so loud, she held onto Hobi, who laughed with her.

“Jennie! We gotta retake it!” Jimin whined.

“I’m sorry! It was funny!” She exclaimed.

They took the video again, successfully as Jungkook joined in, walking into the camera frame, glancing at the both of them.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

Jin walked up to the three of them next.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

Soon after it was Hobi’s turn.

“YYAAAHHHH!”

“Hol’ up, hol’ up!” She raised a hand up in the air, walking towards them, standing in the middle.

She glanced at each member with a serious expression before leaning back with them to do the Nay Nay once again.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

She fell to the floor, unable to control her laughter while the rest goofed around. As they regrouped, they danced once more as Jungkook stood there, amused.

“YYAAAHHHH!”

She heard Hobi shout, “WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!”

“YAAHHHHHH!”

Sounds of laughter filled Jen’s ears and everyone turned their attention to Yoongi who ran up to them.

“Yah~!” He said in a deep voice as he Nay Nayed. Everyone laughed at his actions as Jungkook fell to the floor and Jen started crying because the laughter was too much.

Hobi even remembered, that a week ago, Jen wanted to begin a prank war in the dorm and wanted Hobi to help her plan things out.

“Who do you want to get first?” He asked her as he sat on her bed.

“I know it’s risky but...I want Yoongi to be the first one. I have a prank up my sleeve. I want to do the smack cam on him. Have maybe whipped cream and smack the shit out of him.” She laughed.

“Jennie, I really don’t want you to die at this young age.”

“Ah, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“We shall soon find out.”

Hobi had anticipated when she could get back on her feet so they could begin the pranking. Watching Yoongi’s reaction was going to be horrifying, yet intriguing to see.

-----

As it was nighttime with the members were asleep Jen felt herself falling asleep until she felt a big, warm hand take hold of one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

'I know that hand...is it you Kookie?'

“Can you hear me?” She heard Jungkook ask quietly.

‘Yes.’

“You really don’t know how much you’re loved, do you?” She heard him let out a soft chuckle.

“No matter what hate you get, the love people have for you will always conquer. Never forget that.”

‘I won’t Kookie...thank you.’

When he saw her fall, he felt helpless as he watched Namjoon and Jin rush up to her first. He just stood there, unable to move. He was absolutely devastated. He had wished that he could’ve done more instead of freezing up like that.

-----

Back when he found out that there would be a girl in the group, he was nervous. He was already shy enough around girls and now there would be one in the group? He wasn’t all for the idea but remained quiet. He hoped that he would not be nervous and manage to speak with her.

When he first saw her as the new member, he thought she was pretty and outgoing based on how she talked to the members when she introduced herself. He had remained quiet as she lived in the dorm but she soon started to notice.

“Hey! You okay?” She asked him one day at the dorm, in the room he stayed in. Her sudden question made him stare at her in bewilderment, before he shyly looked down, remaining silent.

“Ah, I guess you’re shy. Well, I hope you know that I’m gonna keep talking to you until you speak to me.” She teased.

As she looked around his side of the room, she noticed a variety of Iron Man merch. “You like Iron Man?”

Her question made his eyes light up as he finally looked at her in the eyes. 

He smiled softly and gave a timid nod. “Best superhero there is.”

“Really? You know, I actually haven’t seen the movies.” She shrugged as he stared at her and shook his head.

How!?

“Are you kidding me? You haven’t lived!” He exclaimed as he felt himself opening up to her more.

“Oh really? Well, you wanna watch the movies together? You can give me a rundown on who is who and what’s going on.”

“Yeah!”

She smiled at his enthusiasm. She was delighted that she found something he could passionately talk to her about, despite the shyness. “I can pull it up on my laptop-“

“No need, I got them here. Let’s go to the living room.” He happily rushed out of the room as she let out a laugh at his eagerness.

Soon after that, their conversations began to consist of Iron Man, video games and they even began to talk about America.

“You been to America, right?”

“I went there to learn how to dance.” He murmured as he told her about how he wanted to go to the beach.

“One day, when we go back to America, we gotta walk around the beach together. Go swimming. It’s amazing there when the sun is set. You’ll love it. I can’t really explain it but once you’re there, you’ll enjoy it.”

-----

“You haven’t forgotten that, right? We were gonna walk on the beach the next time we go to America? We couldn’t do it when we filmed American Hustle Life, but the next time, we just gotta. I always wanted to walk on the beach with you-” He paused and shook his head. “I don’t know why I got so brave suddenly.”

‘Ha. I haven’t forgotten, Kook.’ She thought as she felt herself dozing off. 

Jungkook glanced at the friendship ring as he remembered when he first got it.

---

He had found himself at a jewelry store, asking for custom made rings. He didn’t know how he did it but he went to measure her finger while she was asleep, so he could get the right size. He felt some sort of jealousy at how close she was getting with the other members but he wanted to be her best friend, so why not seal the deal with friendship rings?

He did feel childish for doing such an act, but he had hoped that their friendship would grow stronger because he always felt at ease when she was around.

“For a special lady? Girlfriend? Future girlfriend?” The lady behind the counter teased with a bright smile. Jungkook’s face had gotten so red, she thought he had an allergic reaction to something.

He was so nervous when he revealed the rings to her. But when she hugged him so tightly, he knew. 

Something about her just made him always grin so hard that his face would hurt.

-----

“There’s something I always wanted to tell you...” He let out a breath. He paused for a few moments before shaking his head. “Ah, never mind. It’s not the right time. But I’ll tell you one day.”

The next morning, Jen finally fluttered her eyes as they slowly started to open. Her eyes adjusted as her surroundings began to clear up. As she moved her head, she let out a sharp hiss, immediately holding her head. Her body felt less tired thanks to the rest as she noticed the guys sleeping around the hospital room.

Most were on the floor. It was a cute sight. Yoongi was knocked out on the floor, Jimin and Taehyung cuddled up together and Namjoon was snoring loudly with his mouth wide open. She pondered how she was able to sleep through it as she suppressed a laugh. Jin and Hobi were asleep in chairs.

She slowly turned her head to see Jungkook resting his head on her bed, sound asleep in a chair.

“Kook?” She reached out and placed her hand on his head. She felt him stir and open his eyes.

When he finally saw that she was awake, he jumped out of his seat, launching himself into her for a big hug. He held her tightly as she let out a weak laugh while she heard him trying not to cry.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. No crying.” She murmured softly as she hugged him back.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.” She heard him. “You have no idea how worried I was about you. You scared the heck out of me.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.”

They stay like that for a moment, until he finally pulled away, taking a good look at her. A huge grin came across his face. “Hyungs! Hyungs! She’s awake!” He said, jumping all around to get them to wake up.

“YAY! SHE’S AWAKE!” She heard some of them scream.

“Ow!” She hissed. “Not so loud, I’m kind of sensitive to sound, right now.” She rubbed her temples.

“You see what you do!? Why would you scream, you know she has a concussion!” Jin scolded the boys, going on a full lecture while Namjoon managed to escape, to go get the doctor.

It was good to be awake and be surrounded by them.

She’ll never let this happen to her again.

After a few days, Jen was back on her bed, in the dorm. She talked with Bang PD as she thought about their conversation.

“I want you to rest for a full week. No activity, just rest. And we’ll see how you do after that. If you need more rest, we’ll just wait before filming for the next comeback.” He told her.

“But our comeback is coming up very soon.”

“And BTS’ health is more important. I refuse to have you work in this state.”

She followed his orders and was grateful that he was so focused on her taking it easy. He even planned to take legal action against the malicious comments. Her thoughts were interrupted when Hobi slammed a huge pack of water on her bed. 

“Really?” She looked up from her phone.

“Gotta stay hydrated! How was your nap?” He smiled sweetly and placed a hand on top of her head affectionately.

“It was refreshing.”

“Good. I’m off to dance practice. Do you need anything before I go?”

“Smarties?”

“I’m always prepared.” He handed her a couple of rolls from his jacket.

Once he left, she opened the pack of water bottles and began to drink one as she went on her phone to watch some YouTube videos. Curious, she decided to research BTS Jennie, and came across JRE’s video.

So now you ganging up on my girl Jennie? | REALLY NOW

She had seen a few of his videos and thought he was hilarious, from his body rolling to his K-Pop passion, so she decided to check out the video, to see what he had to say.

“Really now? Antis are now targeting Jennie? Jennie? My Jennie? Our sweet, beautiful Miss Bangtan? Oh, now we have a problem. Now you guys know that I love me some Jennie from BTS.”

Jennie couldn’t help but laugh at the video cuts of his reactions to her from music videos, to her live performances.

As the clip showed him reacting to War of Hormone live, he was body rolling, “Get it, Jennie! Get yo’ lines!” His eyes widened in shock as he saw how close she was getting to Jungkook. “Okay! Okay! Well damn!”

And once he heard her sing, ‘I could turn you into a man’. He paused the video and stared at the camera, laughing. “Hol’ up, hol’ up, did she just-did she just say, wait a minute.”

Jen continued to laugh at his reaction as she couldn’t help but smile when he said, “Jennie and Jungkook have some strong chemistry. If I didn’t know any better, I would suggest they could be dating or something. Troublemaker vibes.”

“Dating, huh?” She suddenly pondered. Before she could think further, she got a notification from Jin as she went to her messages.

Jin: Did you eat? [2:22 PM]

Jen: Yes, Jin [2:22 PM]

Jin: Good. Eat more. [2:22 PM]

Jen: ????? [2:23 PM]

Not even a minute later, Yoongi had messaged her.

Yoongi: Hey Smartie [2:23PM]

Jen: Hey, what’s up? [2:24PM]

Yoongi: Just checking on you. You ate today, right? [2:24PM]

Jen: Yes I did, thanks for checking in. :) [2:24 PM]

As the video went back to the present, he discussed how he saw rumors on Twitter that she didn’t even want to go through with the War of Hormone dance with Jungkook anymore because of the Antis. He showed his disappointment since he enjoyed watching them perform together. How their voices complemented each other and how in sync their bodies move with each other.

Jen was honestly impressed at fans’ accurate assumptions about her not wanting to dance anymore. But now that she was back in her room, relaxed, she did miss it. She shouldn’t let others take the fun out of what she likes to do. She made a mental note to talk to Jungkook about it and let Mr.Son know. She guaranteed they would both be thrilled to know she wanted to dance again for War of Hormone.

Her phone buzzed once more as she stopped the video to read the message.

Namjoon: You had a big meal today, right? If not, let’s go out for lunch [2:27 PM]

Jen: I ate lunch already. I had noodles [2:28 PM]

Namjoon: How big was the bowl? [2:28 PM]

Jen: Uhh average size? [2:28 PM]

Namjoon: Are you still hungry? [2:28 PM]

Jen: Well I mean I could eat some more [2:28 PM]

Namjoon: I’m bringing pizza. Hang tight [2:28 PM]

Jen: Uh, okay? [2:29 PM]

Pressing the YouTube app, she attempted to press play but Hobi ended up texting her next.

Hobi: Jennie! [2:29 PM]

Jen: What!? [2:29 PM]

Hobi: Did you eat??? [2:29 PM]

Jen: Yes, jeesh. [2:29 PM]

Turning back to the video, she pressed play.

“I’ve tried not to make a video about this but now it’s to the fact that I feel so sorry for her getting hated on and it just frustrates me. I haven’t met Jennie yet, but I hope I can soon, maybe if BTS goes back to K-Con or something but from what I’ve seen, she’s a sweetheart. Ridiculously sweet to her fans, and even takes the most time for fan service.”

She was touched at how passionately he spoke of her as she watched him go on, “And to come at her, for her skin color, for her not looking like your typical K-Pop idol, is sad and ridiculous. This girl has made history for being an African American in a K-Pop group and she has done so well for herself as a member of BTS. Her Korean is good, she didn’t come to Korea without knowing anything. She came there prepared. So, what is the problem?”

“Now the poor girl overworked herself and is in the hospital right now because of all that pressure. Now I know she’s young, she’s miles away from her family in America, she’s in Korea, they’re in America, that’s already pressure right there, being away from family. And now this? People find the pettiest things to complain about this girl. It’s like she can never win. Leave my girl alone. I need my Jennie Protection Squad because if you go after my girl, you have a problem with me. I heard she’s still learning how to rap from Suga. I hope she ends up being in a Cypher or something to slay all y’all hatin’ asses. I cannot wait for that day to come.”

Jen smirked at his suggestion. That would be nice but she had a long way to go. She went to his Instagram to follow him and went under the photo that promoted his recent, Really Now video to comment.

‘You are so dope! Thank you. I hope to meet you someday, too.’ she typed which instantly started getting traction from fans.

‘SHE NOTICED YOU!!’ Fans would comment soon after.

‘She followed him too! OMG!’

Another ding was heard as she went to her messages.

Jungkook: Did you eat? [2:49 PM]

“Did they plan this?” She asked with amusement. 

Are they all going to ask her if she ate today?

Jen: OMG, why is everyone asking me this? Lol. [2:49 PM]

Jungkook: Everyone?? MAN! I wanted to be the first one to ask you!! [2:50 PM]

Jen: Lol, thanks for caring. [2:50 PM]

She let out a chuckle when she read Jimin’s message.

Jimin: Ennie how are you doing? [2:50 PM]

Jen: I’m great. I ate today if that’s what you’re about to ask. Just finished talking to Jungkook. [2:51 PM]

Jimin: WHY AM I ALWAYS LATE!? I WAS BORN BEFORE HIM! [2:51 PM]

Jen: I dunno man. I don’t know lol [2:51 PM]

After a few minutes of liking various photos on Instagram, her phone buzzed once more.

Taehyung: Jennie! [2:55 PM]

Jen: Yes, Tae. I ate :) [2:55 PM]

Taehyung: WHO BEAT ME TO IT!? [2:55 PM]

[madamecerberusfanfics]

Can You Love Yet

Ch.3 Death & Empty eyes

Tom Riddle x Reader/OC

summery: Trying to find a cure for the effects caused to those conceived from a love potion, to help her mother finally feel love for her family. A boy caches her eye & believes he could be of great use to her research. He how ever wants nothing to do with her until he hears the rumors about her & her family believing she could help with his goal. Agreeing to help one another out for their own personal gain they did not realize just how this partnership was going to play out.

All of her things packed away neatly in her trunk Rowan gently closed the lid with a sigh escaping her lips. Her 1st year at Hogwarts coming to an end & summer finally beginning. Leaving her dorm holding her trunk in front of her, both hands on the handle just like how she held it when arriving at Hogwarts.

Entering the common room Rowan made her way towards the fireplace, where her & Tom planned to meet. Walking past the rest of the Slytherins, chatting away, she sees Tom already at the fireplace with others surrounding him.

"Well aren't you early, 5 minutes so." Approaching with a friendly smile on her face "& I see brought your friends, hello" the smile still on her face as she turned to greet all the other students surrounding Tom. Noticing how all the girls glared at her & some of the boys, well others looked almost scared of her presence.

"& your not early enough, will be going now, come on Rowan" picking up his trunk Tom turned on his heels & walked out the common room. "well see you next year" with a wave & a smile Rowan walked away, eyes still on her.

Tom was uncertain of what this summer will hold exactly but he was sure that by the end of it he'll have Rowan wrapped around his finger. Standing right before the big beautifully decorated doors that stood between Hogwarts & the rest of the world, before he could think anymore he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning his head with disgust & announce all over his face. 'how dare someone touch me-' before he could even finish his thought his eyes met rowans & that god damn smile of hers. "Trust me you have nothing to worry about, you'll be right back at Hogwarts before you even know it." With a scoff he shrugged off her hand & continued out the doors.

It almost seemed like she could read his mind & oh how he hated that. Catching up with him they made their way back to where the train had left them at the beginning of the year.

A silence hung in the air between the two, it was obvious that Tom still wanted nothing to do with Rowan, he owes her. He shouldn't have to owe anybody & why him out of all people...

On second thought he could see why, he was one of the top students & the fact that it way very known around the school that he was an orphan with no home had made it easy for her to catch him.

As they finally made it across the lake & on to the mainland, looking back one more time at the place that had ever felt the closest to a home a sigh left his lips. There was no point in dwelling on thing such as after all he will be back.

"Come on Tom this way" As Tom turned towards Rowan who had started to walk in the opposite direction of the train. "Please refrain from using my first name & isn't the the train the other way" Aggravated at the fact that Rowan just keep on referring to him by first name, a clear sign that she held no respect for him.

"Yes the train is but we're not using the train, Tom ." A clear emphasis on his name.

As they walked he noticed other students walking in the same direction, most of which he recognized from being  a part of some of the more wealth families. Reaching a clearing with carriages littered about Rowan had made her way towards an old white carriage. With fading & chipped paint, a thin but visible layer of dirt coated the outside, along with the fact that it was being pulled by theses horse skeleton like creatures with bones protruding out of their dark skin & bat like wings on their back. It had stuck out like a sore thumb to even the more less kempt carriages with some kind of fluffier & less menacing creature pulling it

"Thestrals, aren't they." Stating it more as a fact rather then a question. "Oh you can see as well interesting." A smirk making its was across her lips. "& you know of them not a lot do, your just full of surprises."

As they approached the door he had noticed a crest on it which in the center held a thestral. "A creature you can only see once you have witness death" His voice uncaring as he remembered the time he had hung a rabbit from the rafters of the orphanage to get back at one of the kids. 'I guess that also includes a death of an animal'

"That is unless your a Grimm" Stating it as if this was well known knowledge as she entered the carriage. Taken aback by this information Tom soon followed, quickly closing the door & sitting right across Rowan. "What do you mean, explain yourself" Demanding he looked down at Rowan who seemed unfazed.

"Well I'm sure you are well aware of the rumors floating around about my family specifically, one of which being that the Grimm family are descendants of death him self." Her eyes moving swiftly from the window to him, examining. As quickly as her eyes come upon him they left returning to the window, admiring the view as they took off in to the sky.

"Are you telling me that's true, a stupid rumor." Almost insulted, from what he heard, she tried to make him look like a fool, but he could not sense any ill intent.

"Well its just a story passed down as an explanation for why my family has had such a strong connection to not only the dead but death its self. Every member born of the name always seems to have some amount of connection, weather that be seeing thestrals without seeing death, communicating with the dead, or even to know when someone will die. Or some combination of the three depends." The last sentence was in a much lighter tone compared to the more serious one she had used. But Tom didn't notice he was in shock, not only had some of the rumors were true but that she might be able to predict death its self? This had to be some kind of sign, but before anything else he had to know how it work.

Once again as if she could read his mind. "& no I will tell you when you die, its unethical & a cruel thing to do, but I will tell you how it works."

Fixing his posture & crossing his arms "How can you tell when someone will die" His voice stern trying to hide his intentions. "Simple I just look in to their eyes & a date echoes throughout my mind, that being the date of their death however the time of ones death is not a fixed thing."

This is what he wanted to hear, leaning in just slightly. "Let me make it very clear however, you can only postpone death for so long until he's had enough of you, & those who have tried to live forever end up meeting a much worse end then death." This was the first time he had ever seen Rowan so serious & her eyes so dark. "Take that warning to heart Tom Riddle." He almost didn't know what to feel he hated people telling him what to do however her warnings should not be taken lightly.

"How do you know all of this, your father I presume?" Wanting to know if there was anymore about this subject that Rowan wouldn't tell him. "The basics my father taught me but he also made me read all of journals & books of my ancestors, what they did because of if & what became of them." It was obvious that she was still trying to warn him, so he switched up his approach.

"Relax Gimm  I'm not going to do anything with this information, its not everyday you find someone that can predict your death" Portraying himself as insulted to the that fact that he would do something. Rowan examining him with a blank stare so changed her tune once again when she was done, as she put a reassuring smile on. "Oh its nothing against you just have to put it out there for everyone who finds out."

"Now that I've told you something about my family I'd like to know what you've found out about yours." As friendly as ever.

Tom hated how she would get under his skin & use him, first giving him a place to stay just so he can help her with that dumb cure, & now she told him about her family's connection to death just so she could know about his parents? What was she trying to get at here it didn't make sense.

By the way she phrased it she probably knows how he was looking for information about them, she was stalking him, Merlin how could he almost forget. As his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose he let out a sight. "What on earth are you trying to get out of this Gimm" Frustration was in his voice although lightly.

The sound of wheels & hooves hitting cobblestone didn't take Tom out of his thoughts as Rowan had hoped but she still saw it as an opportunity to change the subject. "Well would you look at that we've arrived." With a single clap of her hands she had gotten up, trunk in hand & left the carriage. Tom following soon after, stepping out on to the cobblestone driveway looking up at the house to see a Victorian style mansion. Similar to that of the carriage the once bright whites of the mansion now faded & dull, the ornate detail held spider weds in-between the gaps. Approaching the door along side Rowan, it gently swung open to a darker yet warmer interior. A short woman stood, long wavy red hair with streaks of white coming from her temples, she wore a long dark green rode with the bottom gliding a long the floor & the edges were adorn with fur.

"Welcome home my dear" patting Rowan on the head, a weak smile on both of their faces " & you must be Rowans new friend, Tom Riddle, its a pleasure to meet you" walking towards him "I'm Rowans mother but please call me Holly" she put out her hand for him to shake, he gladly does putting on the charm. "Please the pleasure is mine miss Holly." as he smiled up at her there was something familiar about her but he could not place his finger on it.

"My, Rowan had told me told me all about your situation & your welcome here as long as need be, we have set up a room for you, Rowan will show you & sorry my husband is working at the moment but he'll be here to introduce himself in the evening" her voice light and airy & a smile that never reached her eyes, they almost seemed empty.

"Alright I'll show you to your room & around the house, come" Rowan spoke up, beckoning Tom to follow her up the stairs. Give Holly a smile & a nod to excuse himself then up the stairs he went.

Rowan & Tom alone once again as the walked through the warm halls of the house. "You never did answer me Grimm"

"Well I wanted you to meet my mother first"

"I didn't particularly see anything to cure, so what are you getting at" his voice stern & the anger on his face started to be very prominent.

"Well that's because what my mother suffers from is of the emotional verity, for she is unable to feel love, weather its romantic, platonic, familial, or even for non living things, my goal here is to finally allow my mother to feel love for her family." Rowan had abruptly stopped in front of a door, turning to Tom. "Well this is your room"

Ignoring her about the room Tom continued. "So what am I doing here, it cant just be that I'm smart, no there's something more."

"Well I had suspicious but I wanted to be sure I was right, for you see in order for someone to be born with the inability to feel love they had to have been born of a love potion" leaning in close to Tom as her crystal like eyes meet his dark eyes, in a hush voice. "& oh my, how you & her have such empty eyes."

[btas-swap-au]

Zero and Loop, Together (Part 1)

[[This replaces the cutscene with Loop after beating The King in Act 2. In this case, after beating The Emperor. Subject to change cause I wrote this at midnight yesterday.]]

(Both of them don't look me in the eyes.) (…guess if anybody is going to break the silence, better be you.) 💎("So.")

(…Loop is the first to respond.) Loop: "���so?"

(…do they not get it?) 💎("So, what's our next plan of action?")

Loop: "WHAT?!" (I nearly fall off my seat in surprise.) Loop: "Gemstone, you-! You don't even want to talk about what just happened?!" Loop: "You beat THE EMPEROR! The whole thing you came here to do?! And you still looped back! Aren't you even a little-" Loop: "…urgh."

(They look away from me again. Zero, now, is the one staring.) Zero: "Subject." Zero: "Are you feeling nauseous in anyway?"

(…what?) 💎("…no?")

Zero: "Are you suffering from any headaches?" 💎("No.") Zero: "Any other forms of pain in any area at all?" 💎("No!") Zero: "Hallucinations? Bright lights? Have your ears been ringing? Nose bleeding-" 💎("I SAID I'M FINE!") Zero: "Interesting. An enraged outburst could signify-" Loop: "Oh for the Universe's sake, lay it off, you stone cold moron." Zero: "I was under the impression you were also in distress slightly about the Subject's state of psyche." Loop: "Never heard of being subtle?! Guess not! When are you ever-" 💎("Enough.")

(The two stop bickering, glaring at each other for a few moments before turning to you.) Loop: "…fine. We'll put a pin in it." 💎("So, why are you here, Zero? I thought you liked the Giving Tree Stump.") Zero: "Well, I reached a stage of understanding. I believed it was purely detrimental for me and Loop to be apart when we share such vital information together." Zero: "As much as majority of their information is wrong." Zero: "We share a similar mission and goal. It would be unwise not to collaborate despite our… differences."

Loop: "Hey, loser, you slipped up. Got tired of calling me an Anomaly?"

Zero: "Indeed. Working my way up to referring to you as: Glowing Monkey."

Loop: "Ugh. Trust me, Gemstone, there's nowhere I'd rather wish to be than away from them."

Loop: "But...we're here to help you with your loops. So that's what we have to do. Together."

Loop: "That's all there is to it." 

💎("Alright. Discussion number 2.")

💎("I'm still looping, even after beating The Emperor.")

💎("Though, it's not something I didn't expect.")

Loop: "...you...expected this?"

💎 ("Its not all that surprising, really.")

💎 ("Nothing suggested that beating The Emperor would end my loops. Just...")

💎 ("Didn't expect it to suddenly happen when I talked to the Head Housemaiden.")

Zero: "Hm. Rational, logical, and yet ever so pessimistic."

Loop: "Reminds me of someone I know. You're a bad influence."

Zero: "We're not raising a child, we're trying to help a grown adult. And to state objectively, YOU'RE a bad influence."

Loop: "...because I'm worried?" 

Zero: "Hardly. Emotions are a trait of you I respect. How you act on them irrationally...is another."

Loop: "Yeah, what about you? All about the results, all about the next step. What's wrong, too scared to stop?"

Zero: "To be quick witted is suddenly negative?"

💎 ("Can we focus, please?")

💎 ("...The Head Housemaiden said something was failing and rotting.")

Loop: "Hm. That's right."

Loop: "More than that. She said that as though she knew you were about to loop."

Loop: "I doubt she remembers like you, but she must know something else."

Loop: "Maybe you should take to her again?"

(That's something I can do.)

(Talk to the Head Housemaiden again, see what she knows. Got it.)

💎 ("There's also the matter of The Emperor.")

Loop: "Huh? What about them?"

Zero: "...you're referring to your abilities seemingly being similar to their own?"

💎 ("I can loop forwards and backwards through time...")

💎 ("...while they can suspend people a objects in time.")

Zero: "Indeed. Perhaps...I've theorised it may have something related to Crafts. A special kind. One we may not know about."

Zero: "Although, I wouldn't eliminate the possibility there's a book somewhere that holds that information."

(Search for books....the house is filled with them.)

(Anything related to controlling time.)

Zero: "And it's a risky suggestion...but..."

Zero: "I wonder. The Emperor is the only other individual we know has the power to control time. What knowledge do they posses?"

Loop: "Talking to The Emperor. I'm curious...and yet...I'm a little nervous about that."

Loop: "But I suppose it's worth trying, Gemstone!"

💎 ("I suppose that's all. I'll get to work.")

Zero: "Just a moment, Subject."

(...?)

Zero: "We have one last topic to address."

Zero: "Your companions."

Loop: "...wait, you're serious? YOU wanna talk about...them?"

Zero: "Is that so shocking?"

Loop: "Did you...go soft? Your heart finally grow three times this day?"

Zero: "Very amusing comments. I'm quite serious."

Zero: "The Rebel. She was worried about you, wasn't she? You have alerted her to something you didn't want to."

Loop: "That's right. You don't wanna open up about the loops, right Gemstone?"

💎 ("No reason to make them worry.")

Zero: "Not only that. It seemed she had something she wished to speak with you about. Perhaps you could find out what it is."

Zero: "A long list of tasks for you. Not too overwhelmed, I hope."

💎 ("...no problem.")

(Talk to the Head Housemaiden. Talk to The Emperor. Talk to Mirabelle. And find out more about what could be causing your loops.)

(Objectives, and a path set out before me. Winding, twisting. But I see it.) (…and yet…) (Something still bothers me.) (…why are they helping me?) (The two of them first appeared when my loops began.) (And their names. "Loop", "Zero" is a circle…) (They're related to your loops as well, right?) (…)

[rebeccaberry]

My Top Ten Tips For Writing Horror!

Hello all! As people who've seen almost any of my posts will know, I am a horror writer, and I always love seeing people try their hand at it, so here are my top ten tips for writing horror:

Write what you know scares you. Writing what you know isn't going to be helpful in horror writing for a lot of it, instead, if you focus on writing what scares you, then you're more likely to scare others. Of course, writing what you know when it comes to making characters realistic is still good advice.

Use foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is one of the best tools in any type of writing, but I find that it works especially well when writing horror.

Write longer sentences than you usually would. This makes the reader feel uncomfortable, because the natural pauses that are usually included in sentences are absent, you build more tension this way. Example: I noticed that the doorway to the house was slightly ajar, somebody was already inside, I pushed open the door and it creaked loudly as the rusty hinges strained, moving inside I noticed two things immediately, a thick stench in the air that reminded me of rotting flesh and the fact that everything in the house was coated in layer upon layer of dust. Make sure not to overdo it because then the reader will become used to the longer sentences.

Don't show everything straight away (or at all). If you show the reader everything about the monster/event early it takes away a lot of the mystique that leads to it being scary, and even revealing everything at the end can be a bad idea, because then nobody wants to reread your piece of writing.

Don't fall into cliches. I'm not saying you shouldn't have cliches in your story, they wouldn't be cliches if people didn't use them. But if you're using them, use them with purpose, make sure it fits, and don't overdo it.

Use vivid descriptions... But don't tell the reader everything. When it comes to descriptions too much is often worse than nothing at all, because a lot of the time when nothing is left to the imagination, things stop being scary.

Don't rush the payoff. Have you ever seen the opening to scream where Casey Becker gets the call from Ghostface? He's toying with her, there's that building sense of unease as Casey realises that something is horribly wrong, and so does the audience. Well, that scene wouldn't have worked nearly as well as it did if Casey had picked up the phone, been asked what her favourite scary movie is straight away, and then stabbed in the back. The payoff is always going to be better if the buildup is good.

Have some downtime between the doom and gloom. If it's always scary and your characters are always running for their lives, then eventually the reader is going to get desensitized, nowhere should be entirely safe, and they should always be on their toes, but having (even small) moments of respite, will be good for when you want the reader to actually be scared.

Practice. I know, it's cliched, but practice does make perfect, over time. If you give up because your writing doesn't match your expectations, then you'll never be able to meet your expectations, in fact, I recommend never letting yourself quite reach your expectations, always have a goal in mind that you are working towards.

The most important one... Have fun, I know, I know, this is the most cliched thing here, but it's still the most important, if you aren't having fun, then you're doing something wrong.

And there you have it! Those are my top ten tips for writing horror, if anybody sees this and wants me to do a top ten tips for writing mystery I'd be happy to give that a go. Bye now!

[sleepy-vix]

i think about the future in terms of being free. i think about my present in terms of staying under the radar and keeping out of trouble and being respectable and academic so that i will be ready to be free when the future comes. i think about graduation and adulthood in terms of freedom and independence and life experiences that i never had and never dared to have as a socially anxious, burnt-out teenager that just wanted to be alone for months on end.

but then i'm scared because what if i'm not ready to be free? what if i'm hyping myself up to step just 10 steps closer to the edge before jumping into adulthood but then i suddenly find that the edge was only 3 steps away, i've gravely miscalculated, and my wings (which are meant to represent the experiences, wisdom and skills i have collected in my life) are not even fully fleshed out and i am thrust into The Real World with nothing to my name and no networking skills to save my life.

am i too reserved? have i been too cautious? should i have put my head up and stuck my neck out instead of putting my head down and shrinking into myself? should i have made the effort to befriend and acclimate myself with a larger variety of people? should i have prioritised my wellbeing and health? should i have went out more often on the weekends and made more plans with my friends instead of shutting myself away to brew in my misery and study my brain to death?

what if i have been too cautious? i've justified my shyness and caution by convincing myself that i will live and seek experiences when i am older but what if i've been putting that off for so long that when it comes to the time where i plan to live, i find that i have no idea how to live at all?

is that all i'm destined to be? nothing? a boring and meaningless office worker, seeing their friends once a month, listening to music and reading books to cope with their loneliness but having nobody to talk to about their latest read or music obsession. i used to always, always think that a quiet and peaceful life is the best way to live. i was convinced that i won't need anybody but myself and a cat. now i am terrified. what if my pathetic, "quiet and peaceful" life is so quiet (too quiet) that it isn't even the tiniest blip in the grand tapestry of the world, and i die and nobody even realises for years and years and years?

i used to think that my death was okay. i used to actively wish it upon myself and seek it and dream of it and write about it like it was an inevitable ending. something deserved. a safety net and a way out. an apology for my failures as a human being.

i claim to view my death as a safety net because i believed that if i made peace with my death and even befriended its inevitable presence, then death will be a joy when it arrives and i will not have any regrets because my goal in the end was always to die.

i don't think like that anymore. now, i so desperately want to live. i want to live, but after so many years of wanting to die, i'm horrified to find that i haven't the faintest idea how to live. this revelation makes me want to die.

it has come full circle and thus i am spiralling.