#but my gaydar definitely still works ok?

[flowers-inverted]

Fellas, is it gay to be the main character in a sports anime?

[maddieladner1999]

Bad idea right?

I know I said tomorrow but the ideas were in my head already and I wanted to think about other potential chapters.

Chapter 3.

This chapter is Ricky’s POV of the week between visiting EJ and until EJ meets his parents after the play.

Ricky couldn’t help but think of EJ the whole ride home. But he’s only told Gina about what happened and so he needs to tell everyone else. So he spent the ride home thinking of what to say. They had a meeting today and miss jenn sounded upset.

At the meeting, miss jenn tells everyone the play isn’t happening. No one showed up to rehearsal last night but Emmy and principal Gutierrez decided it was out of the budget. After everyone hashes out some history of why they joined and seb and Carlos sing their song it’s over. Emmy runs off to the auditorium where she sings a song. When they get there they are interrupted by Alyson reed and the guy who plays coach Bolton who decide to donate song of their salary from the movie to the play and it’s back on. Everyone is thrilled. Ricky finally sees his opportunity to talk to everyone.

Ricky: I have an announcement if everyone would like to listen for a second.

Gina: hey everyone listen up

Ricky: thanks Gina. So I went to see EJ yesterday as you all may know and we had a very long important conversation. I realized a few things and felt it was important to tell my friends. Gina and I broke up.

Carlos: wait what?

Seb: why didn’t you say something earlier

Ashlyn: I don’t think he’s finished

Ricky: I’m not thanks Ashlyn. There has been a lot going on today and I didn’t wanna interrupt anything. Gina and I broke up because I realized that as much as we tried to make it work the truth is I don’t love her like that no matter how hard I try.

Big red: so wait you still love nini?

Ricky: no it’s the same when it comes to nini too.

Ashlyn: then what happened?

Ricky: It turns out I spent a long time stealing EJ’s girlfriends because secretly way deep down I was in love with him

Carlos: oh my god. Your gay? Ugh my gaydar is so off

Seb: does EJ know?

Ricky: yeah he does and he feels the same way.

Carlos: EJ’s gay too? Ok my gaydar is officially broken

Seb: so are you and EJ like dating now?

Ricky: yes. We are. And I thought I should tell you that not only as your friend because I know you’ll support me but also because he’s coming opening night and I didn’t want to surprise you. Our shows tend to have issues and I didn’t want it to be one.

Seb: of course we support you dude.

Carlos: so wait are you like gay or bi or what?

Ricky: idk yet. Let’s just go with queer for now and I’ll figure that out later

Maddox: well welcome to the club dude. I definitely need to talk to rocket man though.

Jet: that’s cool I guess.

Miss jenn: I’m so proud of you. And we’ve wasted enough time so let’s go rehearse.

EJ FaceTimes him a few nights later and asks if he told the wildcats. He said yes of course. Then ej asked if he told his parents and Ricky realized he hasn’t. EJ says he should tell them soon and Ricky says he will. He hears his dad come in and decides to go ahead and tell him and his mom is flying in for the show on Saturday so he’ll go pick her up and tell her during the car ride from the airport. He and EJ exchange a quick good night and Ricky gets up to go downstairs and tell his dad. He’s worried but he has to tell him. It’ll be awkward if his dad sees him with EJ on Saturday without telling him.

Mr. Bowen: hey Ricky what’s up

Ricky: I had a long chat with EJ at college and I’ve realized a few things. Maybe you should sit down

Mr Bowen: (sits down) I’m a little worried but ok go ahead

Ricky: me and Gina broke up.

Mr Bowen: oh no what happened

Ricky: I thought going to talk to EJ was a bad idea but he had been in my shoes before so I thought he’d understand. But after we talked and sang a song about our issues, I realized that I didn’t love Gina the way I should. I didn’t love nini that way either.

Mr. Bowen: ok I’m confused

Ricky: I kept stealing his girlfriends and I didn’t get why. But now I do. I didn’t want his girlfriends, deep down I wanted to be with him. And as I’m saying all this I’m realizing why I didn’t truly love nini or Gina. I could never love them because I don’t like girls. I like boys like EJ. I’m gay dad.

Mr. Bowen: well that fills in some questions I had. That must of been a really long conversation with EJ

Ricky: yeah well I did stay the night so I had plenty of time.

Mr. Bowen: well I’m proud of you son. So what about you and EJ? You guys still friends?

Ricky: no. He’s my boyfriend now

Mr. Bowen: oh so he likes you too.

Ricky: yeah I guess I should’ve mentioned that earlier

Mr. Bowen: I hope you guys were safe last night then

Ricky: we didn’t go that far

Mr. Bowen: ok yeah I didn’t need to know that.

Ricky: right well I’m going to bed now

Mr. Bowen: me too. Good night.

When the day finally arrived for opening night Ricky was nervous. He always gets pre show jitters but not like this. He figured it’s because his boyfriend is going to be in the audience tonight.

He texts his mom after tracking her flight to let her know he’s going to pick her up so she gets it even she lands. The plane is almost here but it’s a long drive and she’ll probably have luggage so he hits the road. He gets there in perfect timing. His mom is surprised obviously and thrilled to see him

Lynne: so you barely return my texts but you come pick me up from the airport. What’s going on?

Ricky: I have something to tell you

Lynne: oh well I guess we have a long car ride ahead of us so go ahead

Ricky: me and Gina broke up

Lynne: oh I’m sorry

Ricky: it’s ok. I didn’t love her like I should

Lynne: ok idk what that means

Ricky: it turns out all my fighting with EJ stealing his girlfriends was really me deep down hiding my true self and feelings

Lynne: and what are those?

Ricky: I don’t like girls mom. I like boys. I’m gay.

Lynne: oh sweetie, that’s great. I’m so glad you decided to tell me.

Ricky: well I realized all this when I went to visit EJ last week and that’s not all

Lynne: it’s not. What else is there?

Ricky: I like EJ. That’s why I stole his girlfriends. That’s why I couldn’t get along. I thought I wanted to be him but it turns out I just wanted him

Lynne: and does EJ know this?

Ricky: yes. And he feels the same way. He’s my boyfriend now.

Lynne: is he coming to the show tonight?

Ricky: yes.

Lynne: I’d like to meet him

Ricky: I’d like that too

Lynne: so is that why you picked me up? Didn’t want to tell me this over the phone?

Ricky: no I couldn’t. Didn’t seem like the kinda conversation for a phone call

Lynne: well the timing worked out I guess

Ricky: it did. So I already told my friends and dad obviously

Lynne: well I’m glad you told me. I miss it when you would talk to me. I know I live in Chicago now but I’m still here for you.

Ricky: I know I just don’t like the whole you being with Todd thing

Lynne: well I’m not with Todd anymore if that’s what you’re worried about

Ricky: really?

Lynne: don’t think me and your dad are getting back together though

Ricky: I know you’re not. I just didn’t like Todd.

Lynne: well it looks like we’re almost here

Ricky: yep. You ok with staying with us?

Lynne: of course. Plus it saves me money on a hotel

Ricky pulls into the parking space and helps his mom with her things. He shows her her room and goes upstairs. Ricky gets a call from nini before the show who tells him to check his texts. She’s going to send him what to write on her cards to give out since she can’t make it. He of course would do anything for nini so he does. After he arrives at the school, he hands out the cards apologizing for his handwriting. EJ shows up right after he gives out the last one announcing his arrival and wishing everyone luck. Kourtney stops him from kissing EJ because of his stage makeup so EJ takes his cue to find his seat. Ricky tells him he’ll see him at intermission.

At intermission EJ finds him in the backstage area and Ricky drags him out down the hall to an empty classroom.

Ricky tells him that he told his parents and EJ is happy to hear it. He tells EJ that he’s sure of his sexuality now. He’s gay. EJ tells him he’s bisexual and they are of course so proud of each other. EJ tells him he has 5 minutes left before he gets back so they take the opportunity to make out. Ricky of course hates EJ’s perfect hair so he takes the opportunity to mess it up. After EJ interrupts asking what he’s doing he tells EJ that he likes his hair messy like this summer at camp or last week at college. EJ lets him and after a few minutes it’s time to head back. Ricky goes to get ready and goes to preform the rest of the show for act 2. It’s the best performance they have had to date and he can’t wait to do it again next semester.

After Gina’s movie announcement in the auditorium and the reveal of miss jenn and Mr mazzara being together the gang takes the limo to dennys. Ricky couldn’t help but think of nini when big red asked what happens now. Ricky drives home from the school after the limo takes them back to the school to get their cars. He goes straight home, removes his makeup and gets ready for bed. His dad comes to tell him EJ is here. He goes downstairs to see what EJ wants. EJ tells him he wants to meet his parents given that his mom is actually here. He goes to get his mom and introduces his boyfriend. He tells EJ he’s going to shallow lake again next summer along with visiting his mom in Chicago and asks him to join him. EJ says yes and he’ll join him in Chicago too when he visits his mom. His parents go to bed and EJ asks for a ride home. After dropping EJ off and EJ saying he’ll grow his hair out again Ricky goes home. He texts EJ when he gets home and good night. They go to bed. He can’t wait to see what happens next.

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

Hmm what in Taehyung set your gaydar off? I'm a bi woman and idk I don't trust my gaydar at all 😆 what's worse is that i fing it hardest to detect Bis like me 😆 that's why Im asking bc jhope and tae might be bi but idk 🤔 I always get the urge to move jhope in the gay category and tae with the straights. I am always open to the possibility of being wrong but here's my assumption -> Gay - JM & Suga; Bi - jhope & tae; Straight - jk, jin, rm

These are my personal opinions which may not have any basis, so nobody come for my head please, I just wanna discuss 😅

I think because of fan service and skin ship it's sometimes hard to differentiate to potential sexualities, even in a group like BTS where it seems less geared toward queer sensibilities.

Thoughts of the members sexualities...

Hyung line excluding J Hope:

RM - Heteroflexible, I used to flip between thinking he's straight or Bi.

Jin - He's straight, I could also see him as demi-sexual though

Suga - Bi/Pan - he's said as much in lyrics and interviews, but probably leans towards women in general.

Maknae Line & J Hope:

Firstly, Hobi & Jimin...

J Hope - Bi, he initially gave me ACE vibes, but as I got to know him I realised he's probably wasn't comfortable in his sexuality and has grown in confidence.

Jimin - Bi... well first off he's close to Kai and Taemin and friends, who give off the biggest queer vibes in the entire K-Pop community, also he flirts with anything guys and girls in equal measure.

Ok on to Taekook, here are some of the things that make me think why I came to the conclusions I did...

JK

Demi-sexual Gay or possibly Bi with possible gender non-conforming. JK is an enigma wrapped in a puzzle… yes, he dresses masculine a lot, but he constantly wears gender-neutral clothing brands and even said (paraphrasing) fashion has no gender.

He has liked queer singer/songwriters:

His constant plugging of Troye Sivan (even covered "Fools" about young gay love as duest with RM),

Sharing a gay unrequited love song by Years & Years - Memo

The alleged LGBTQ playlists on his official Spotify profile before they disappeared

Adding Trans artist Kim Petras to playlist

Adding Queer singer/songwrite Carlie Hanson to his playlist

As wells as other queer songs to, such as:

Destin Conrad - In the Air

Troye Sivan - Suburbia | Talk Me Down | There for You

Kehlani - You Should be Here | Honey

Kim Petras - Do Me

Let us also not forget his first thought when meeting RM was thighs. Plus he has fascination with guy butts, slapping them or filming them.

His used of the phrase "I'm Still Me" a few months after the release of Love, Simon in South Korea. He used it twice, firstly in a tweet posting some art, then later in the summer package when asked how he's changed, in both case he used the exact English.

His whole partners are family too, thing during the Japanese BBQ Party

The whole golden closet films, with Bert and Ernie inside.

Overall, whilst he can be masculine, there are times JK is incredibly feminine. JK is queer, he just doesn't broadcast it loudly, just like the others in the group or even in K-Pop in general. So the suspicion is less on him because he only occasionally talks about his interests and likes, that might come across as queer.

Tae

He's probably the only one I can say is definitely gay. He does things that your typical straight man would not do.

Most straight men I know, personally or work with, would not have three gay photographers as their favourites and in the case of Ante Badzim an inspiration. Also, I find it interesting that as a thank-you Ante (who is now a friend with Tae) Tweeted this photo of two naked men in a pool:

Ryan McGinley, a well known photographer, who's photographed tons of celebs, but also posts very gay and very naked gay couples, nudes and sexually explicit suggestive content mostly focusing on the men...

Here are some examples of Ryan McGinley's work:

It should be noted, during a pre-BE album YouTube Live video with Tae, RM and Hobi, RM mentioned Ryan in conversation with Tae regarding the photography for BE's concept and JK, to which Tae became very nervous about, and hinted that that was related to a secret project. Tae has one of Ryan's photo-books, which he photed about, though he had to issue an apology for posting a photo of the book back in 2016. In 2017, Dean (KwonHyuk) posted a screenshot of his conversation with Tae (note the chat was quite innocuous). Tae's chat profile image was of a naked man running a field, the photographer of that images was Ryan: https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/detectives-discover-connection-between-bts-v-and-dean/

Tae also highlights and promotes, queer/gay artists too. He's a big fan of Troye Sivan and has recommended 5 of his songs:

Easy ('Easy' follows the star as he examines a crumbling relationship, begging his lover to give their relationship a second chance.")

Seventeen (he alluded that his song is about losing his virginity to an older man)

What a heavenly way to die (a love song about growing old with his significant other, spending their last days in each other's company)

My My My (is about queer sexual liberation and love with an MV that very gay)

Animal (A beautiful same sex song about being whipped for his man)

Another song he chose to highlight, both in a VLive and in a Bangtan Bomb, was Crazy Beautiful by Austin P Mackenzie:

Other LGBTQ+ artists/songs he highlighted are:

Conan Gray - The Other Side Sam Smith - Stay With Me ! Lay Me Down Kehlani - Advice ! Piece of Mind ! Dstraction Frank Ocean - Thinkin bout you

It's clear he's a big fan of Leslie Cheung, a deceased gay actor, from Hong Kong. He's some evidence that Tae's a fan:

Happy Together, the first big gay film to come out of Hong Kong, starring Leslie Cheung.

And let us know forget that Taekook used the hand sign that Leslie Cheung did to he's lover Daffy during concerts and a secret way of say I love you:

Side note: JK also did some Leslie Cheung things too:

Taehyung, has highlighted/reference several films with gay centric storylines. They are:

Moonlight - is references in his song 4 O'Clock

Call Me By Your Name - he mentioned it in a VLive with Hobi, referenced it in a Tweet playing the piano to the soundtrack on in Pride Month, and reading the script of the father / son conversation, in full in Korean, about accepting one's sexuality.

The Man I love - In the same VLive with Hobi, he mentioned this French gay film

One of his favourite fashion designers is gay, Alessandro Michele from Gucci:

He likes queer artists, like Alexander Calder and Jean Michel Basquiat:

Conclusion

No straight person I know would highlight this many queer content/artists as their personal favourites. Most gay men I know will gravitate to queer content more and have queer representations in the homes and life. People gravitate to things that resonate with themselves. And if you're queer, that will be queer people and things.

[achaiapelides]

Kit's Diary

Chapter 3

Dear Ty,

I enrolled in a school today. Tessa and Jem suggested that it would be good for me to get in contact with some mundanes in our area, so I could find some new friends. I actually didn't want to, but they seemed to think that this was a good idea and were so happy, so I didn't want to disappoint them and agreed. It's a pretty big school, because all the kids in the area go there. I had some problems finding all the rooms first, but I guess I'll get a hang of it eventually. I had to elect advanced courses. Tessa told me history is quite interesting, English too. She knows this because she apparently attended the school a few years ago because she got bored, as you do as an immortal warlock.

First I got my timetable and a tour of the school with Tessa and Jem by the secretary, an older, very strict looking lady, but she was actually not that bad. She looked at my hand weirdly though, as if she could see my rune, Tessa assumes she probably is a mundane with sight. Afterwards I had my first class. Obviously maths. Ugh. But the teacher, a young man about 25, is very nice and actually managed to make me understand the stuff he explained. He even uses some new technology called IPad and beamer and made videos for us to watch at home so we can understand the topic better.

Since I know you're interested in that and Livvy is probably too, I'm going to explain it to you now. An IPad is a bit like a computer but you can, like on your smartphone, touch the screen so you don't need a mouse. But it's bigger than a phone, so you can write on it too if you have a pen that is connected to it. I don't quite understand how this works, I'm bad at physics and electronics okay? But I'm sure you can find that out by yourself if you want. A beamer is a device that you can connect to your IPad and project the thing you see on its screen onto a wall with light, like in a cinema.

So maths wasn't actually that bad. The only problem was a girl in my class, I think her name is Leo, who looked at me really weird, but not the same way as the secretary. She probably has the sight too and can see my runes. I fear she might ask me about it, so I guess I have to come up with some story, how I got them. I'm going to ask Jem and Tessa later.

After two hours of math, where I surprisingly did not die of boredom, I had history. They talked about Henry VIII, you know, the English King with the many wives. The teacher, Mrs. Addams is pretty strict, but still quite a good teacher. You have to imagine her a bit like a young Professor McGonagall from Harry Potter. If you don't know Harry Potter, you should read the books immediately, there's pretty good, even though the author is a bitch. But back to history: It was also quite interesting, especially the history of Henry's wives. Especially Anne Boleyn and Catherine Parr are very interesting.

Afterwards we had English with the same teacher. Apparently she kind of connected both subjects because we're reading Shakespeare in English class. She decided that we're going to read different works of him in groups. My group consists mostly of girls, who of course chose "Romeo and Juliet". I'm kind of bummed because Shakespeare has so much more interesting works but, I mean who can blame them, when Leonardo Di Caprio plays Romeo in the movie.

There is another boy in my group, his name is Sam. He has light brown skin, dark brown hair and is definitely straight. Not that he said that, my gaydar is just like "nope, don't even try". He does look a bit like a male Livvy, but more tanned. Quite attractive, but not my type... that's you. (Ok Kit, stop simping about Ty, you were writing about school!) Leo is also in my group. She does look a bit like Hazel, but white, blonde and definitely not a werewolf. But they kind of have the same face. Maybe they're related or something. She was eyeing me the whole time though. But not like a "fuck me"-stare, more like a "you're very different and interesting"-stare. Kind of the way you're looking at animals you find interesting. Okay, she will definitely ask me about the runes sooner or later. I really should come up with a story for that.

After English, my day was over and I walked home. Yes walked. The school is really close to Cirenworth. I told Tessa and Jem about my day and when I mentioned Shakespeare; Tessa jumped up and ran up the stairs, only to come back a few minutes with really old editions of his books. She told me, that Will, her late husband from the 19th century, bought them for her on her 21st birthday. Both she and Will and their children read them, maybe their daughter and son in law, too. Afterwards they stayed in Cirenworth, which was her daughter-in-law’s home, until today. There are even notes from all the people who read them in there. Tessa even allowed me to bring them to school for our next English class. Also they wanted me to invite Sam and Leo over because "you need some friends". I promised I would ask them. Mina was also very interested in the old books, and even though she can't read, she flipped through the pages very carefully and looked quite pleased. It was sooo cute.

I wish you could meet Mina. I just know you would love her. She's so interested in the little things that easily get overlooked, just like you. Speaking of you, I wasn't as sad about us today. In fact I was the happiest I've been in a long time. I still think about you almost every time something happened, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. Maybe I'm starting to heal. Maybe one day I can meet you again without breaking into pieces. (Did you understand that expression? It's what it feels like when you see something that triggers your sadness and it gets so overwhelming that you literally feel the same pain as if you were breaking into pieces.) And look at that. I just noticed it but I even write as if you'd actually read those diary entries. But you won't. At least not now. But I always hope that someday we will see each other again. And that we maybe can understand why we did the stuff we did and forgive each other. Even if it will take a long time, today was the first time I actually believed in it. That maybe, just maybe, you completely misunderstood me and actually love me as much as I love you. (Okay. Stop it Kit! You're simping again... you gotta let a man dream though.)

For real though, I love you still, and I always will

Always yours,

Kit

Happy December 12th, everyone!

[xmasuchii]

“when someone comes out to you + they’re deathly serious abt it, just mirror their tone and dont say smthng stupid like ‘i knew that already’“ is sound and Correct advice but i’m so fuckign stupid and dumb like i fucked up doing this Twice with two of my oldest friends and i think about it So Much bcos like..... both times i thought they already came out to me

like, one of them confessed to me that they were trans and i remember looking dumbly at them and saying “i know?” but not in a “I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU COULDNT BE CIS” but in, like, “didnt you tell me this literally a year ago???” IT WAS JANUARY I REMEMBER THAT SO CLEARLY

and like, he felt SO BAD bcos he definitely took it the First way and i’ve harbored that guilt for so long bcos NO NO I DIDNT GO a-ha he’s a Trans^TM i’ve got my gaydar Finely Attuned [rubs my grubby lil hands together] i just genuinely thought we spoke about this before (AND WE’VE SINCE TALKED ABT THIS AT LENGTH AND THEY AGREED WE DID TALK ABT IT BEFORE, BUT HE DIDNT CONSIDER IT THEIR ACTUAL ‘coming out’ BCOS IT WAS STILL ON THE FENCE I JUST DIDNT PICK UP ON THAT)

and the other friend i’ve literally known since kindergarten. i can use the end of the date to track how many years we’ve known each other (22 bcos it is 2022). i can pinpoint her highs and lows and tell you her family life and her work history and INTIMATELY tell you her love drama as her oldest confidant,,, and SO LIKE....  whenever we hung out and just sat around to People Watch she would SO OFTEN talk abt the women more times than the men. to the point it became a running joke. not to mention in middle school, she’s the one who told me abt the concept of a “girl crush”. like. ok, she likes girls. cool.

FAST FORWARD A DECADE she’s sleeping over, its the dead of night and she gets so quiet and so serious and she starts crying, “i have to confess smthng to you............................ i think i might be bi”

and MY BRAIN TO MOUTH FILTER WAS OFFLINE DESPITE BEING ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT OVER WHAT I DID WITH MY OTHER FRIEND AND SWEARING TO NEVER DO SMTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN AND JUST SAID  “..........yea, i know, and?” LIKE

she did not take offense to it THANK GOD maybe bcos i learned my lesson and i apologized immediately after and explained i felt we spoke about this MANY TIMES THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES so we continued the conversation from there but MY GOD

[murdershegoat]

(inspired by this // on ao3 // ko-fi)

she’s had the voice in her head for as long as she can remember

well, it’s not exactly a voice, more just like a really strong, disembodied feelings that echoes loudly in her head and body. like, it’s not her gut feelings, it’s an outside force and it’s loud and sometimes scary.

so whatever she calls it a voice when she’s explaining it to others.

this voice, it guides her decision making. it’s not an exact science (yet) but if she thinks in her head ‘i’m gonna go get ice-cream’ the voice will either say WARMER or it’ll say COLDER

well, it won’t say it because it’s not a voice. it’s more like this disembodied feeling feels like it’s saying WARMER or COLDER and she’ll physically feel it as well.

if she’s supposed to get ice cream, she’ll feel a sudden warmth

if she’s not supposed to get ice cream, she’ll feel a sudden chill

she doesn’t know why the voice makes the decisions it does, but she has to assume that it’s leading her towards something, towards success or whatever

at the very least, she has to believe that it’s trying to keep her alive. it’s a survival thing. whatever it is, it’s kept her alive for 26 years and counting.

and though it keeps her alive, it doesn’t always save her from pain. the voice tells her kissing veronica sinclair in the horse stables is a warm idea and veronica ended up breaking her heart and humiliated her in front of the whole school.

when she was four, the voice told her to trust lillian. and that’s led to a whole life of pain.

anyway. the voice. 

andrea is the first person she tells about it.

they’re hiking in the amazon during spring break. and, as happens sometimes in life, they come to a diverging path and have to choose. left or right. andrea looks at the compass. ‘it’s not working,’ she says. ‘how fucking convenient,’ lena replies. she sighs and steps to the left path.

‘we’re going left,’ she says emphatically as she feels a familiar warmth roll through her. ‘why?’ andrea asks. ‘i just have a feeling.’

only andrea isn’t swayed by ‘just a feeling.’ she demands more and she refuses to go left until lena finally breaks down and explains the voice

(not a voice.)

‘well what happens if we don’t listen to it??’ andrea asks after a barrage of questions, her analytical mind whirring a mile a minute. lena shrugs, ‘i dunno. i’ve never taken the risk of not listening.’

they go left.

they survive the amazon. the voice is always right.

‘you know,’ andrea says, her head resting against the plane window. ‘my nanny used to tell me stories.’ ‘isn’t that what all nannies do?’ ‘she would tell me stories about people having unexplainable powers or whatever, i don’t remember the details… but i remember her saying that the powers always lead people to the thing they need the most. and it could take months or it could take years but it’s a part of your soul, like, intrinsically in you.’

andrea’s xanax kicks in soon after that and she sleeps for the rest of the plane ride home

lena stays awake the whole flight, wondering what these choices are and what this voice is leading her towards.

the voice leads her through the end of high school and it leads her to MIT (fun fact: she’s never felt a firmer COLDER than she had when she held harvard’s acceptance letter in her hand.)

it really helps her in college. sure, she still makes a lot of what she deems voice-sanctioned mistakes (sleeping with veronica sinclair is at the top of that list) but her grades are stellar and she’s on track for getting her second masters and she has a load of friends.

and then her brother goes insane and tries to kill superman. the sky is red and lena stands in lex’s office overlooking downtown metropolis. ‘join me lena,’ he says. ‘help me and we’ll be unstoppable. we’ve always been a strong family  but believe me, we’ll run this country together one day, i promise you that. all i need you to do is trust me.’ he holds out his hand

for a second, she considers doing it. she doesn’t want to lose her family. i am going to trust my brother. 

the voice says COLDER.

lena listens to the voice. she always listens to the voice.

it’s the first time the voice has made her lose something - someone - as important as lex. it’s the first time she thinks that maybe this voice thing doesn’t know what it’s doing because it’s never hurt her like this before. 

the fallout from lex’s breakdown feels cataclysmic. her friends stop speaking to her, her professors stop calling on her in class. she can’t even work at the library without being harassed.

and to top it all off, she becomes the youngest female ceo of a fortune 500 company. which means board meetings and strategy sessions all while writing a thesis. 

but meeting jack spheer feels like finding a life raft in the middle of a ferocious ocean, keeping her afloat, letting her catch her breath. he’s cute and he’s funny and well-to-do, and he’s the type of person lena knows she should date and possibly marry.

jack is the second person lena tells about the voice. she’s scared because she isn’t sure he’ll believe her, that he’ll drop her like the rest of her friends have.

but jack, bless his heart, just asks a hundred questions. ‘so even things like which sodas to drink?’ ‘the voice doesn’t let me drink soda.’ ‘whoa.’

jack is the first person who’s not veronica sinclair lena tells her other big secret to. they’ve been out drinking and eventually they stumble back to jack’s place and she feels brazen enough to blurt it out while he makes her a grilled cheese sandwich. she doesn’t even have time to wait for the voice’s opinion; the truth just falls out of her, unable to stay contained any longer.

‘i’m gay,’ lena says. ‘and i understand if you don’t agree with that lifestyle, but i’m still the same person i’ve always been and i would like to remain friends with you.’

‘a person with terrible gaydar apparently,’ jack replies. ‘as the kids say, it takes one to know one. i would’ve told you sooner but… i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner.’ she surges forward and throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly. neither of them lets go.

the grilled cheese burns.

‘should we just get chinese instead?’

the voice says WARMER.

she’s scared of starting over in national city, but the voice in her head seems to think it’s a WARMER sort of idea.

so she packs her bags and jack says goodbye to her at the airport and before she knows it, she’s looking down at NC from her pristine white office. the CVs of two assistants she’s interviewed. ‘i’m going to hire jess chin-salva as my PA,’ she murmurs to herself. ‘WARMER,’ says the voice.

when jess tells her two reporters are at the door, the strapping frame of clark kent isn’t whom she is expecting. she also isn’t expecting kara danvers to follow close behind, kara danvers whose smile is much too bright and friendly to work for a hardened journalist, whose blue eyes twinkle with a kindness lena has seldom been gifted by others, whose biceps are clearly visible through the cardigan she wears.

lena doesn’t have a choice to make, and yet for some reason it screams at her. WARMER. WARMER. 

and then it says something new.

WARMEST

the feeling won’t leave lena’s body, and she struggles to focus on the interaction with the journalists, but she thinks she’s managed to tell them the truth. she’s just trying to rebuild her family’s business. she just wants to do good things and make the world a better place. but it’s hard to focus on any of that when her mind and her body feel like they’re on fire.

it only dies down when kara leaves the room, and lena’s pretty sure that there’s something special about that woman.

except maybe there’s just something about the blue eyed women of national city. because later that day lena’s helicopter is shot down and she finds herself being carried to safety by supergirl and the voice goes batshit crazy again.

‘focus on the fact you’re about to die,’ lena tries to tell it, but it doesn’t listen to her. so instead, she doesn’t look away from supergirl’s steady, reassuring gaze until she flies away. and she wonders why supergirl is a ‘WARMEST’.

‘i heard you almost died,’ jack says when he calls her that night. ‘who cares about that?’ she responds, ‘the weirdest thing happened with the voice.’ she tells him of feeling ‘warmest’, of feeling it twice in one day with two different people, of how it refused to go away and occurred without any decisions to make.

‘ok i’m about to share a document with you,’ he says, and lena can hear him typing on his laptop. ‘there, open it.’

it’s a spreadsheet. holy shit.

‘this is every big decision you’ve ever made,’ jack says. ‘there are also some medium sized decisions thrown in, but mostly just the big ones.’ ‘how the hell do you know all this?’ she asks, shocked. ‘why else do you think i’ve been asking you about all this for so long?’ he replies. ‘every time you tell me something the voice says, it’s gone into this spreadsheet. now, i only have limited knowledge of decisions you made before you met me, but i’ve been able to put in a lot of them based on your stories alone. i thought, what better way for you to try and understand this than to put it into words you understand best?’

‘you’re phenomenal,’ lena tells him. ‘i just… i never thought of this. i just assumed it was all some unknowable hippy dippy nonsense.’

‘i mean, it could definitely still be hippy dippy nonsense. but still take a look at it, see if there are any patterns or anything.’

‘i love you, jack.’ ‘too bad i’m gay, huh’

lena sees a lot more of kara and supergirl, though never at the same time. kombucha dates with kara and supergirl swooping in to save her life every now and again. the voice isn’t as overwhelming in their follow up visits, though a pleasant hum of warmth resides low in her being whenever either of them are around. 

maybe, lena thinks, it’s not the voice at all. maybe, she thinks, it’s about time she starts dating again. 

but none of the women she sees bring the same warmth that kara and supergirl do.

the decision data that jack put together doesn’t seem to make much sense either. but she continues to add to it, bit by bit.

and then something weird happens. 

‘you’re getting more potstickers?’ lena laughs. ‘don’t you have any self control?’

‘i’m only human, lena.’

‘i suppose i should believe you.’

COLDER.

COLDER? she’d never gotten a COLDER near kara before. and why? she shouldn’t believe that kara’s human? of course kara’s human! she’s just an awkward, sweet, kind girl from midvale. it’s not like she’s supergirl, for crying out loud!

holy shit

what the fuck

kara’s supergirl?????

kara’s supergirl. it totally makes sense. why hadn’t she seen it before??????? had she been willfully blind to it?

she made a fool out of me, lena thinks. i should hate her. but the voice says COLDER. huh. so hating kara is off the table.

 maybe, she thinks, maybe i knew and i didn’t want to admit it to myself. because clearly kara doesn’t want me to know. and i don’t want to push her into telling me because i don’t want to lose her. i can’t lose her. because i lo---

‘i’m so fucked,’ she tells jack over the phone later that night. ‘kara is supergirl and she doesn’t know that i know and i--’ ‘what is it?’ ‘i think i’m in love with her.’ ‘oh my god FINALLY,’ he yells into the phone. ‘i havent even met kara and i knew you were in love with her. you know she’s all you talk about right? like, you run one of the biggest companies in america and you have a disembodied voice that lives in your head and a million other things going on in your life, and the only thing i’ve heard you talk about for months now is kara danvers.’

‘you did not know’

‘i really did. but im glad you know as well because i can finally present you with my biggest theory on The Voice.’

‘not a voice’

‘remind me what it was that andrea’s aunt or nanny or whoever thought it could be?’

‘that was a million years ago,’ lena says; she hasn’t thought about andrea in ages. she should give her a call. ‘i think it was something about… these types of abilities lead a person to thing they need most in the world.’

‘right. i’ve been doing a lot of new age reading and it hasn’t been pleasant at all and i sort of hated every moment of it, but i think i have some idea of what this could be. it’d explain everything.’

‘well then, what is it?’

‘i don’t think it’s the thing you need most in the world,’ jack says. ‘i think it’s the person you need most in this world.’

‘you mean like-’

‘a soulmate. think about it. somehow every decision that voice has gotten you to make has led you to standing in your office in national city where you met kara for the first time. and what did the voice say when you met kara, completely unprompted?’

‘warmest,’ lena whispers. 

‘exactly. warmest. as in, as warm as can be. because the whole time, the thing this voice has been leading you towards is kara danvers.’

lena’s plan for handling all of these revelations is drinking herself into a stupor. and it’s truly wonderful for the most part.

that is, until she wakes up with a headache and someone pounding their fist on her front door.

‘wHAT,’ she yells as she throws open the door.

‘do you want to explain the voicemails you left me last night?’

oh shit. lena’s hungover brain processes that it’s in fact kara standing at the door. she ushers kara in and shuts the door behind them.

‘to be honest with you,’ lena says as she puts on a pot of coffee, ‘i think i’m still a bit drunk and i definitely dont remember what those messages said.’

you said you know i’m supergirl. you said you’re not angry at me for lying to you--’

‘oh that’s not so bad’

‘-- and you said you have proof we’re soulmates.’

fuck.

‘do you want to explain yourself?’

‘can i drink my coffee first?’

… kara watches her drink her coffee.

‘okay,’ lena says. i’ll explain but you can’t ask any questions til the end. deal?’ kara nods.

the third person lena tells about the voice is kara danvers.

‘my whole life i’ve had this… this sort of voice in my head. and when i have a decision to make in front of me, it says WARMER or it says COLDER. it’s how i’ve made every choice since i was four years old, from the clothes i picked to the type of coffee i drink to the college i went to.’

‘like intuition.’

‘not intuition. fuck. i shouldnt tell you any of this.’

COLDER.

‘well. guess i should tell you about this.’

WARMER

‘it’s not intuition. it’s not a gut feeling. it’s not a part of me. it’s something bigger and otherworldly and it’s been leading me my whole life to something… i can only assume something much bigger and more important than i am. except i also think that the thing it’s been leading me to is you. and you don’t have to believe me at all, and god, you don’t have to believe in soulmates but… but far out, kara. i’m in love with you. i’m so in love with you it’s insane. and if you don’t feel the same way, i understand, but please don’t shut me out. i can live without you being in love with me, but i don’t think i can live without you in my life anymore.’

they stand in silence, lena’s plea still hanging in the air between them.

‘on krypton,’ kara says softly. ‘there’s only one way to know if somebody’s your soulmate or not.’

‘how do they do it?’ lena asks, imagining a blood test or a swab or something.

instead kara takes a step closer to her and she puts her hands on lena’s hips and she presses their foreheads together and she says ‘do you feel it?’

‘what--’

but she feels it. a sort of calm washing over them both. the air stills and lena swears she can hear kara’s heart beating and she feels serenity like she’s never felt it before.

‘wow,’ kara says, and before she can stop herself, lena kisses her softly, barely. but it’s still a kiss.

and she can’t really describe it, but she feels the voice leave her. 

‘i want to kiss you again,’ lena says. but there’s no voice that says warmer or colder. all there is is kara danvers, nodding her head and saying ‘then kiss me.’

lena has many thoughts about soulmates. she thinks if the universe gives you some sort of magical powers, it should also give you an instruction manual for them. she thinks her soulmate is the most perfect soulmate that’s ever been created ever. but this is the real kicker: lena knows that the voice may have led her to kara, but she’s the one who has to make sure she stays there. they have to put in the work together. love isn’t just a magical feeling, it’s building trust and learning to be selfless and letting someone into your life in a multitude of intimate ways. and now that kara’s in her life, in all of her wonderful glory, there’s no way lena will ever let her go.

[marvella15]

Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 4: Top Hat

• So we’ve reached Top Hat, which is generally everyone’s favorite including @elloette​​​. Even many film historians say it’s the best Astaire/Rogers film. And it’s definitely one of the best but not the best imo. It does however have some of my favorite dances and songs and probably the most famous dance Astaire and Rogers ever created. 

• Top Hat is kind of like a more sophisticated version of Gay Divorcee. It also has probably the best example of the Big White Set that was ubiquitous to these films. If I’m not mistaken they dyed the water black to make the set stand out more *goes to check IMDB* yep!

• Our characters/actors: Jerry Travers (Fred Astaire), Dale Tremont (Ginger Rogers), Horace Hardwick (Edward Everett Horton), Madge Hardwick (Helen Broderick), Alberto Beddini (Erik Rhodes)

• I never realized it before but Horace and his valet are like a bickering old couple. In many ways, they make far more sense as a pair than Horace and Madge.

• I’m back again to gush about Astaire’s singing. He slides effortlessly into “No Strings (I’m Fancy Free)” straight from the dialogue, and it sounds perfectly natural. Like the way hb and I integrate Parks and Rec quotes into everyday dialogue, but obviously Astaire is a bit fancier. 

• His line about feeling like a sailor at sea is fitting since, in his next film, he will indeed be a sailor. 

• This is a favorite solo routine for sure. He’s just so joyful and in the groove. I especially like when he taps out the beat on the side table and startles Horace with short burst of taps. 

• Horace thinks he’s such hot shit that some random young woman has come to see him at his hotel late at night. 

• Astaire didn’t think he was handsome and didn’t enjoy watching himself on screen, hence the grimace when he looks in the mirror, which is played for a laugh. But that opinion runs contrary to Astaire’s place as one of the leading men of Hollywood and as one part of some of the most romantic moments in film history, primarily with Rogers. It lends credence to Katharine Hepburn’s famous saying that Astaire gave Rogers “class,” and she gave him “sex” (metaphorically). He’s arguably never sexier than when dancing with Ginger Rogers. 

• When Dale comes upstairs to tell him to shut up, she gives zero effs. Doesn’t care that he’s trying to be charming or funny, or that he’s sorry for waking her, or that he’s flirting with her, doesn’t care about him at all in any way. Just shut up so I can sleep, is her message. 

• But then. She is charmed by his soft shoe dance on a sandy floor to lull her to sleep. 

• Spotted: young Lucille Ball as the florist’s assistant. We’ll see her in the next movie too where she’ll have her first ever credited roll. 

• Astaire’s face when he asks, “Don’t I even get any thanks?” is so heartfelt and open. It always makes me awwwwwwww. 

• Another favorite line of dialogue from these films:

Jerry, holding an umbrella in a downpour: “May I rescue you?”

Dale, unimpressed: “No, thank you. I prefer being in distress.”

• “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” is a flirtatious song and they act it that way but the true flirting comes in the dance, which is about partnership and equality. They imitate one another throughout the scene, starting even while Astaire is singing. Rogers puts a hand on her chest and he then does the same. They’re dressed alike as well, thanks to her riding outfit, and that furthers the theme by making her more masculine to match him but it’s also advantageous for some of the moves they’ll perform, such as when she lifts him. 

• Jerry thinks he’s in control. He’s surprised, but pleased, to find Dale has gotten up and followed him as he begins to dance. He thinks he’s won her over. Then she mocks him a bit by sticking her hands in her pockets like he’s done and surprises him even more by busting out her own little extra tap. She’s telling him she’s not there just to follow his lead and any relationship between them will only work if they’re equals. 

• They’re definitely testing each other in this dance, finding out if they are drift compatible. Trying this step and that to see if the other can keep up. She keeps glancing at him in a self-satisfied way. He crosses his arms to see if she’ll do the same. They circle the space mirroring each other with every movement, and while they’re in sync, it’s still like one is leading and the other is following. Until they clap in unison, skip forward, and land at the exact same time. They spin around neatly and he glances over, smiling in pleasure, and so is she. 

• The first time they touch is over a minute and a half in and it’s only to lend a hand so each can twirl in turn. They glide forward and back in a wide loop as the music builds and now they’re smiling in earnest and it’s not just the characters; it’s Astaire and Rogers. He mouths something to her, maybe more than once, and they’re both clearly enjoying themselves. 

• It’s only in the last 30 seconds or so that they actually touch for real, and it’s because she has crooked her arm in invitation. He spins them around the bandstand together and although it’s a fairly standard move Astaire uses a lot, because they’re both in trousers, you can see just how close they are to one another, knees and hips pressed together. 

• And now they combine both elements of the dance: imitation and partnership. They move as reflections of one another and take turns lifting each other. During this portion is where you once again can see the acting stop and the actors just being themselves. As they near the end of the dance, Astaire and Rogers both grin in delight and he maybe looks especially proud of her. This was a technical dance with a lot of movement and she nails it. While her gowns often add to their duets, it’s routines like this, where she’s in trousers, that you can see her technical skill really shine. 

• One of the many ways Rogers contributed to the dancing partnership was in being their “button finder,” which means she was good at figuring out how to end a scene or dance. The best example is at the end of this dance, where she came up with the idea for them to finish by having Jerry and Dale simply shake hands.

• Don’t miss the sex joke in the middle of Horace and Jerry’s argument: 

Horace, who is concerned about scandal ahead of Jerry’s show: “Why, I’d rather have had it (getting slapped) happen to me than to you.”

Jerry, not missing a beat: “Oh, of course, if you enjoy that sort of thing.”

Horace: “I do, immensely… (realizing what he’s just said) Now don’t be absurd!”

• Dale’s line, “I hate men. I hate you. I hate all men!” is a mood. 

• Beddini’s response, “I am no man. I am Beddini!” is how all men think of themselves. 

• Interesting that all we’ve seen Dale and Jerry do is dance a very fun, flirtatious, but not necessarily romantic duet (ok, fine it was in a bandstand while it was raining which is pretty romantic but you get it), and yet she says, “How could he have made love to me when he was married all the time?” 🤔🤔🤔

Further 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Horace: “You sure you didn’t forget yourself in the park? 

Jerry: “Positive. If I ever forgot myself with that girl, I’d remember.” 

• Seriously, there are some vibes between Horace and his valet. *gaydar pings very quietly out of earshot of the censors*

• I like Astaire’s little warm-up in his dressing room. Seems like the kind of thing he probably did irl. 

• One of my absolute favorites moments is when Jerry instructs Horace to charter a plane so they can fly down to meet Dale. Horace asks, “What kind of plane?” And Jerry, already about to miss his stage cue, leans back into the doorway quickly to say, “One with wiiiings!” 

• The physical “invitation” Jerry uses when singing the appropriate line in “Top Hat, White Tie and Tails” is actually Madge’s telegram about Dale. He took it on stage with him after snatching it from Horace’s hands. 

• There are conflicting stories about how many canes Astaire broke while filming this sequence and which take was used. One account says he broke 12 canes in frustration while failing to get the number absolutely right and the 13th (and last cane) was used in the final take, which was then printed. But Astaire recalled that Jimmy Cagney, who was visiting the set at the time, advised him that he’d nailed it on the second take. Astaire wanted to try a couple more but the next day, agreed that Cagney was right and the second take was used. 

• Shooting down his rivals with a cane and using taps for bullets was based on a gimmick Astaire had used years before in a terrible Broadway show. Here it became one of his most iconic creations. I especially like when he fires off a shot at the Horace’s stuffy club members in the audience. 

• How on earth did Dale think that Jerry was married to Madge? In what world are they compatible? Granted, she hasn’t actually met Horace but still. 

• While Horace is in the bathtub in his shower cap:

Horace: “Jerry! I don’t think it’s safe for you to see that girl alone.”

Jerry: “Well, I don’t think it would be quite proper for you to receive her that way.”

• In most Astaire/Rogers movies, he has a lot of bravado and pursues her but she almost always ends up shocking the hell out of him when she turns out to also be ballsy af. In Gay Divorcee, she invited him to her room. In Top Hat, she comes up to see him alone and then kisses him. 

Hardly a romantic kiss btw. But we still aren’t to the place where we talk about the lack of kisses in this film series. 

• Aaaaaand again, Astaire’s singing is so perfect for this song. He leads straight from conversation into the lyrics. The music has already been playing in the background, and he makes it appear he’s created the lyrics of “Cheek to Cheek” just for her in this moment. 

• Rogers does a magnificent job of softening when he starts to sing. Her eyes flick up and down his face, touched that he’s serenading her. And when Astaire drops his tone on the word “seek,” his gaze is heated for a just a moment and her lips quirk a little. Being sung to is awkward but she makes it seem like the most romantic thing.

• Like in “Night in Day” in Gay Divorcee, this dance is about seduction but its more developed than in the prior film. Because the characters have already danced together, elements of “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” seep in, such as the short tap routine they do side by side. Instead of getting her to simply give in to him, he is asking her to trust him, to remember the equality and partnership they’d built before. He almost never takes his eyes off her for the entire dance, even watching her out of the corner of his eye when they’re side by side. 

• I would say most of this dance falls into the “acting” category but there are a couple Astaire and Rogers moments that peek through. After the first time he leans her back and them brings them together so their faces are close, he smiles privately to her. After their little tap section, he swings her back into his arms and they’re both smiling in delight. 

• A few times the only place they’re touching is his hand on her back and there’s something very Victorian hot about that.

• I’ve always liked the moment where she twirls and he waits, hand outstretched, expression openly adoring, until she takes his hand without looking and they’re in sync again. 

• Another callback to “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?”: In that dance, she crooked her arm in invitation to him. Here, she leaves her arm up so he can wrap it around his neck. 

• Several times he leans her back, each time dipping her a little further and keeping her there a little longer, but never failing to hold her and bring her up. Each time showing her she can trust him. When they reach the climax, she bends back completely and he holds her for several looooong seconds before very slowly returning her to her feet. Complete surrender and trust from them both. And after that moment, there is no need for anything else to cement their relationship. He can simply bring them cheek to cheek. 

• Something that is evident in most of his partnered dances but perhaps most obvious in a duet like this with Rogers is that Astaire was very good about making his partner the central focus. Your eyes instinctively watch Rogers, not him, throughout the performance. But credit must also be given to Rogers herself for commanding the screen so thoroughly not solely because of her elegant dancing and gorgeous gown but because she remembers to keep acting the entire time. We never doubt that Dale is falling in love with Jerry through this dance.

• Sooo the feather dress. So much to say, some of which you may already know:

The short story is, as soon as they started filming the dance, the feathers on the dress flew everywhere. No one wanted that dress to be used, except Ginger Rogers, and she refused to wear something else. 

Director Mark Sandrich, who was a dick to Rogers all the time, wanted her to wear a gown from Gay Divorcee. She told him to GTFO. Then she called her badass mom who came to the set to also tell him to GTFO. 

Because they could be little shits, Astaire and Hermes Pan made up lyrics mocking the dress, set to the tune of "Cheek to Cheek.” They went, "Feathers, I hate feathers, And I hate them so that I can hardly speak, And I never find the happiness I seek, With those chicken feathers dancing cheek to cheek."

Rogers was pissed, not in the least because she had designed the dress herself and also they were ostrich feathers tyvm. Tbh it does look pretty magnificent in the final edit of the film… but that was after every single feather had been hand sewn into place. And you can still see some of them float off.  

In their next film, Astaire is going to get whacked in the face by the heavy, beaded sleeve of Rogers’ dress so he really had it easy here. 

He also knew he’d gone too far in poking fun at her dress and generally being an ass about the entire situation. Astaire apologized to Rogers by giving her a gold feather for her charm bracelet and affectionately calling her “Feathers” in the accompanying note (“Dear Feathers, I love ya! -Fred”). The nickname stuck. Later, he would also give her a beautiful travel watch that was housed in a golden envelope. Engraved on the outside of the envelope in Astaire’s writing? “By Hand/To Feathers/All best love -Fred.” 

• The dress is absolutely essential to the dreamy quality of this dance. It makes her look like she’s floating along, caught up in being in love and in his arms. She even seems to come out of a daydream once they’ve finished dancing. 

• The plot and dialogue jump through so many hoops to avoid Madge ever once saying, “my husband’s friend, Jerry,” which would clear up everything instantly.

• Interesting that when Dale reminisces sadly about her love for Jerry, whom she doesn’t think she can actually be with, the tune that plays is “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” and not “Cheek to Cheek.” High romance is lovely but sometimes nothing beats being able to laugh and have fun together.  

• Horace and Jerry have been sharing the bridal suite, as it was the only room available when they arrived. But now that Dale has impulsively agreed to marry Beddini, the management asks if Jerry and Horace would be wiling to give up the suite in exchange for a different room.

Jerry: “Well, we’ve hardly settled in it yet… Have we, angel?”

Horace: “No, and all our clothes are...(realizing Jerry is teasing him) Oh, please.”

• Upon finally realizing what’s actually been going on with Dale:

Jerry: “She’s been mistaking me for Horace all this time.”

Madge: “No wonder she thought Horace was fascinating.”

Horace: “Heh, no wonder. (then immediately) I resent that.”

• Perhaps poking fun at the way dances had been filmed until he took charge, Astaire and Rogers’ portion of “The Piccolino” starts with a close up of their feet. But instead of then cutting to a full body shot, the shot widens to show them and the dance continues all in one take. 

• This may be a strange place to talk about how right Astaire and Rogers look together but I’m gonna do it anyway. Their heights are very complimentary and they move like extensions of one another. The routine is quick and bouncy, incorporating several styles and switching between them rapidly. Throughout, Astaire and Rogers elevate one another with their individual grace and skill. That element is only going to continue to grow in the next couple of films. 

• At one point he whips around to pull her in so they can spin like they did in the bandstand. As she waits for him, Rogers’ face lights up and they go into the move smiling wide. Soon after, Astaire playfully raises his eyebrows to her. At another point, they step forward slowly, eyes on each other, and there’s a glimpse of that private world they sometimes slip into during their dances. The whole time, they’re absolutely flawless. 

• It wouldn’t have made sense to record the taps, etc live like “I’ll Be Hard to Handle” in Roberta but I wonder what might’ve been picked if they had. Aside from when they clap and there’s no sound, Astaire says something to her when they’re dancing in a circle facing each other. She definitely seems to be giggling at several points. 

• When the music kicks up and they go into an energetic section, he bows and flourishes his hand to her, once again making her the main focus. 

• While filming the final scene of the movie, Sandrich (the director) wanted the duo to do a short ending dance and he told them this on the day of filming. Astaire and Rogers were peeved. Every bit of dancing, no matter how small, was always rehearsed. But Sandrich, who, again, was a dick, insisted. According to Rogers, she privately told Astaire to simply move her about however he wanted and she would follow along.  In all likelihood, they probably did whip up this little dance and rehearse it quickly but you’d never know it wasn’t planned ahead of time.

She obviously had a lot of trust in his ability to lead them both but she also knew he was an excellent social dancer, meaning he didn’t necessarily need a pre-rehearsed routine. And she knew this because they’d gone dancing back in New York when they were dating. 

• Here’s a cool behind the scenes picture from The Academy’s archive taken during the final scene.

• And so we’ve finished Top Hat, another glamorous adventure for Astaire and Rogers. Up is a more working class outing: Follow the Fleet. 

[long-bodyswap]

Switch

by Dirk Steel (dirk_steel@excite.com)

I was working out at the gym like I did every Thursday night. But this night seemed a bit odd. Barely anyone else was here. Mr. Asito, the night janitor was doing his usual duties. Kathy, the desk clerk, was signing out and heading for home. Dan, Phil and Ted were talking about getting some action at the local bar as they went out the door.Of course Doug and Matt were still here. Being the personal trainers for the gym, they were always working out. Doug was an incredible specimen. He looked a lot like Marcus Reinhardt, the professional bodybuilder, but even taller. At six-foot-two he was a sight to behold. Blond hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders, thick square chest, narrow waist, huge quads and calves. He looked just like a Nordic god. Matt, on the other hand, looked like the all-American football jock. Five-foot-ten, 220 lbs. of pure muscle. Wavy black hair, jet black eyes, bushy eyebrows, Roman nose, square jaw and high cheek bones, a chiseled six-pack, beefy forearms and 19-inch biceps. His shoulders were so well defined; he looked like he was wearing shoulder pads.It took all of my strength not to stare at Matt while I worked out. In my mind he was the "perfect" man. He just oozed masculinity. His voice was at least an octave lower than mine. Unfortunately, he made it perfectly clear to everyone that he was all man, and 100% straight. I had even hired him to help me train a few months ago, but he seemed to sense that I had more in mind than just training, and asked Doug to help me instead.Doug was a different story. 

Quiet and sensitive, I had a feeling there was more there than met the eye. There were rumors around the gym that Doug had a thing for Matt, but no one ever had enough nerve to ask Doug if it were true. Matt was always trying to set up Doug with a variety of women. But Doug never seemed to take an interest. A couple of times while changing clothes, I noticed Doug looking over Matt's body a little longer than a straight guy would. My "gaydar" was definitely going off.Doug called over to me and asked if I needed any help. I said "Sure, thanks". Matt rolled his eyes and went off to run on the treadmill. "Looks like you've been putting on some muscle, David.", Doug said. I smiled knowing that my gains had been minimal at best and that Doug was just being kind. "Yeah, I think you'll be ready for competition in no time." Now I started laughing. "Sure, I'm a 6-foot-one, 170 lb. walking Greek statue". I said with a smirk. "Don't be so hard on yourself...", Doug said, "we all can't look like Matt". "If only that were possible.", I said. "Well if it were possible, I'd have a lot better luck with Matt than I'm having now." I'm sure I must have had a shocked look on my face when I looked over at Doug. I couldn't believe he was being so open and honest. "Listen David, I know you're gay. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. I just thought it would be nice to have a gay friend I could confide in. I always have to pretend to be the straight jock when I'm working out with Matt." 

I didn't know what to say except, "Thanks." Doug continued, "I know you've got a thing for bodybuilders. I've noticed you checking Matt and me out on a number of occasions. I've always been flattered by it. I had wished that I felt the same way about you, but I have the same desire for bodybuilders that you have. I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from." "I do, Doug. I could tell just by the way you look at Matt." "Matt? That's a whole other story there. I don't know what's going on with Matt. Ya know, I'm going to take a walk around the block. I've got a lot of things to think about. If you see Matt tell him I should be back in about 20 minutes. Thanks, David. You're a real friend". Doug kissed me on the cheek and left for his walk. I felt a real attraction to Doug, but knew that nothing could ever happen between us.While I was working out on the ab crunch machine, I was watching Mr. Asito vacuuming around the various pieces of equipment. He had a big smile on his face. I wondered why he seemed so happy doing such a menial chore. Just then he turned to me and said "A job well done is a job worth doing. It gives one a feeling of pride." It was almost as if he were answering the question I was thinking about. Then I remembered hearing stories about how Mr. Asito was into mystical things like potions, spells and even magic idols. I figured it was just a joke based on Mr. Asito's age and Asian background. "It is no joke, David.", he said. "How did you..." I started to ask, but he interrupted, "There are unexplainable forces that man cannot fathom, but can be used if one learns the old teachings." I smiled back and humored him by saying "I'm sure there are." He knew I really wasn't taking him seriously, smiled, and went back to vacuuming. 

I went back to doing my crunches, understanding how all of those stories about him got started. Suddenly I heard a loud clanking sound behind me. Mr. Asito had accidentally hooked the vacuum cord around the weight tower and now it was beginning to rock back and forth. I jumped up from the ab machine and ran toward the weight tower hoping I could stop the rocking. But it was too late. The tower started falling towards him. I pushed him out of the way just as the weights fell to the ground with a loud crash."Are you ok?" "I'm fine, David. No harm done.", he said as he slowly got up off the floor. "You scared me half to death. It looked like you were right in the path of those weights." "Thank goodness you were nearby. The outcome could have been different." "I'm just glad you didn't get hurt." "Now, maybe there is something I can do for you?" With that he put his fingers from both hands around my face. I started to move backwards but felt compelled to stand still. He looked deeply in my eyes, as if he were looking right through me. I felt a chill run up my spine. "You have desires that are beyond the reality of this world.", he spoke in a trance-like state. "The one you wish to be, also wishes the same of you. Sometimes those who live their lives a certain way really long to be free of playing the role they feel they were forced to portray." His hands dropped from my face and the trance was broken. "Sometimes the impossible is possible... as you will see." Mr. Asito winked at me, turned and left the room.I stood there wondering what had just happened. It all seemed like some sort of weird dream. "You have desires that are beyond the reality of this world." How did he know about my desires? I've never shared my desires with anyone. I decided that Mr. Asito was just a kooky old man that liked putting on a show. That was a lot easier than believing all of that crazy mumbo-jumbo.I went back to my workout as if nothing had happened, all the while feeling that something strange had just taken place. After finishing my circuit training, I heading for the locker rooms. Matt walked in just as got to my locker. "What was that loud bang I heard?" "The weight tower almost crushed Mr. Asito.", I replied. "What were you doing messing with weights that heavy? You've got to be in shape to handle that kind of weight.", Matt said snidely. "I'll keep that in mind, thanks." "I didn't think guys like you were interested in getting big like me." "More than you think, Matt." Matt flexed his right arm into a bicep pose. He rubbed the peak of the bicep with his left hand, caressing it as though he was getting turned on by his own fondling. He knew how much I was enjoying the performance. I tried to act like I wasn't impressed, concentrating on the task at hand... not getting an erection. It wasn't working. I could feel my dick swelling in my pants. 

Matt saw what was happening. "What's going on down there? I think your dick is confused. It must think I'm one of those Baywatch babes. You might want to have a talk with it -- God, I don't even know why they let queers like you workout here! Shouldn't you be at some sort of bathhouse, sucking some guy's cock?", he sneered then turned away. "Ya know Matt, contrary to what most people think, most gay people don't go to bathhouses." "Whatever.", he said coldly.Matt opened up his locker. "What the hell is this?" He reached into his locker and pulled out a black ring. "What's this doing in here?" He looked over at me. "Is this from you?!" "No, Matt. Of course it's not from me." "I wonder who put this in my locker?" He looked at it closely. It appeared to be made of black onyx. It was square on top, with a recessed square in the middle. It had some foreign writing around each side. "Weird", is all Matt could muster. He decided to slip the ring on his index finger. "It fits like a glove, and looks pretty cool. I'll have to find out if Kathy bought it for me." "Kathy the desk clerk?" "Yeah, Kathy the desk clerk! Who did you think I meant?" "Nobody." I knew that Kathy wouldn't have given Matt the time of day, let alone an onyx ring. She had told me on a number of occasions how put off she was by Matt's egotistical personality. In fact, I couldn't think of any woman at the gym that seemed to like Matt.I took off my t-shirt and opened my locker. There sitting front and center was a black onyx ring, just like Matt's. I picked it up and examined it. It had the same kind of writing, but instead of a recessed square, the square was sticking out of the larger square base by about a quarter-of-an-inch. "Look what I found?", I said as I slipped it on my finger. "What the fuck?! Where did you get that?" "Same place as you. In my locker -- I guess that rules out Kathy." "Are you sure you didn't buy these as engagement rings, hoping I might come around?", Matt smiled smugly. "I don't think so, Matt."He walked over to compare the two rings. They looked identical except for the tops. "This is so strange", Matt said, "they look like the same ring. It almost looks like your ring will plug into mine." Matt was right, it looked like the post on the top of my ring would fit into the hole in Matt's ring. 

Curious, Matt reached over and snapped his ring into mine.Both rings started to glow. Matt pulled away, but the rings wouldn't come apart. The lights in the locker room started to dim. Then a cold breeze began to swirl around us. We both stared at each other with frightened looks on our faces. The rings glowed brighter and brighter. The glow started moving up our arms. A sudden jolt of electricity went through our bodies. Both Matt and I went rigid from the wave of energy passing through us. I felt like I was burning up. I could see that Matt was experiencing the same thing. Then, suddenly, the rings separated from each other. We were both beginning to sweat. Matt looked relieved and started to back up, but realized that he couldn't move his legs. I tried to lift my legs and was also unable to move from my spot. The rings started glowing brightly again and Matt doubled-over in pain. I tried to reach for Matt when I felt an extreme cramping of my stomach muscles. I grabbed my stomach, and clinched my teeth from the intense pain. I could feel something happening under my hands as a held my stomach. The muscles felt like they were getting tighter and tighter. The layer of fat that was there burned away, and muscles started forming right underneath my skin. I could actually feel a washboard stomach growing right under my hands. My abs were now hard as a rock. Finally the pain subsided. I stood up straight and immediately noticed Matt. His stomach had lost most of its definition. It was almost smooth... just like my stomach used to be. Then I looked in the mirror, just to the right of Matt, and noticed how developed my abs had become. It looked like I had been doing sit-ups for years. I reached down and slowly ran my hands across my stomach and felt every ridge and crevice. It seemed like I was having some sort of out-of-body experience.The rings started to glow again, and soon our entire bodies were glowing with energy. Matt had a strange look on his face. 

Then I noticed what was happening to him. He was starting to change. His chest was slowly caving in. It was losing its thickness. His arms were getting smaller. His lats were narrowing. His thighs were becoming less defined. His calves were shrinking. His tight waist was starting to widen and his shoulders were slowly deflating before my eyes."David, what's happening to me?!", Matt yelled in a voice that didn't sound as deep as usual. "I'm not sure, but I think I have an idea!" I saw Matt getting thinner and taller. Then I realized that not only was Matt growing, but I was starting to shrink. I felt a sudden rush of energy fill my chest. My chest was getting heavier. I could feel it becoming engorged with blood. I looked down and saw it expanding, getting wider and deeper. My nipples were growing, moving out and down to the sides. I could see muscle fibers appearing under my skin. I moved my hands over my chest and felt how thick and hard it was becoming. I touched my larger nipples and a shudder went through me, down to my crotch. Then my arms started to get heavy and they dropped to my sides. My biceps started swelling up, as if something was filling them with blood and muscle from the inside. I could feel my triceps growing, getting heavier. My forearms were becoming thicker and wider. My right arm involuntarily swung up into a bicep curl. It felt like I had a hard baseball buried under my skin. Thick veins started snaking down my biceps. More veins appeared down the inside of my forearms. 

My hands were becoming thicker, longer, more rugged looking. Fine black hair was forming on my forearms and legs. Then my arms started moving out from my sides. My lats were growing. They were filling in, getting thicker and wider. My legs started to cramp up on me. I grabbed my calves and felt them growing under my hands. In a matter of seconds they had grown to over twice their original size. My quads and hamstrings were tightening, becoming thicker and more defined. Striations appeared when I flexed my thigh. I could see all of the muscle groups separating. My glutes started burning. I reached behind me and felt that they were getting smaller, tighter and more round... it was very erotic, feeling my own sexy bubble butt forming under my hands.I looked over at Matt.

He didn't look like Matt anymore. He had lost a lot of muscle mass. He was taller and thinner. His face was less angular. His square jaw was rounder. His jet black eyes looked dark brown. He looked a lot like... me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw that we looked almost like identical twins. We were both very well built, ruggedly handsome looking men. Just then a funny thought had crossed my mind. I imagined that if it were possible for Matt and I to conceive a child, he would have grown up to look exactly like we did at that moment. But then ten or fifteen seconds had passed and I actually started to look more like Matt than he did. Matt realized what was happening. 

"You're becoming me! Why is this happening?!" "I don't know Matt...", I said in a voice that sounded more like his than mine, "just hold on if you can, I think it's almost over." Matt tried to pull his ring off, but it wouldn't budge. Matt continued to grow thinner and taller. His face was slowly changing into mine. His eyes changed into a lighter brown. His hair went from dark brown to sandy blonde, curly to straight. His high cheekbones moved down his face, and became less angular. I saw the anchor tattoo on his right shoulder slowly fade away then reappear on my shoulder. Then I saw my old appendix scar gradually appeared on his body. I glanced down at my stomach and saw that it was gone.I continued to get bigger and more muscular. I felt my rib cage growing and stretching, making more room for my expanding chest. I could hear my bones shifting, cracking, repositioning themselves. 

With every breath I took, I could feel my frame growing wider and thicker. I looked in the mirror and saw my lats expanding, pushing my arms further out to the sides. I watched as my shoulders inflated. I could feel the muscle fibers forming under my skin. They began to look like melons attached to my thick, massive arms. My waist continued to tighten. I looked down and saw my abs were even more defined than before. My legs were becoming so muscular they started to rip my cut-offs at the seams. I could feel my face contorting, my features changing. My teeth were moving in my mouth, shifting position. They were being remade, becoming straighter, more aligned. My jaw was getting wider, more square. As I looked in the mirror, a cleft slowly appeared in my chin. My nose was narrowing. My eyes were getting darker. My eyebrows had become thick and black. My brow was thickening and protruding over my eyes, giving me a masculine "neanderthal" look. My skin tone was darkening. I couldn't believe what I saw when I looked in the mirror. My face now looked like a G.Q. model... it looked just like Matt. 

In just a matter of minutes I had become the man I had always fantasized about. I smiled and saw Matt's perfect pearly white teeth smiling back at me in the mirror. I caressed my face with my lumberjack-sized hands. I felt my high cheekbones, my Roman nose, my sexy 5-o'clock shadow. My dick was stirring in my shorts. I looked over at my big, round shoulder and saw Matt's anchor tattoo. I slowly rubbed it with my hand and felt the thick, hard muscles underneath it. Normally, I didn't care for tattoos, but on his well-defined arm it looked really sexy and masculine.The ring's glow and the cold breeze slowly faded away. Matt and I just stood there for a couple of minutes staring at each other. Both of us were drenched in sweat. Matt was standing 3 feet from me in my body. It looked so strange seeing my slender body in his clothes. 

His big muscle tank top was draped over my tall, narrow frame. Then I saw my reflection in the mirror. It was so incredible I couldn't stop staring at myself. I was looking at myself through Matt's dark, sexy eyes. When I blinked, Matt's reflection blinked. When I raised my thick black eyebrows, my reflection did the same. When I smiled, I saw Matt's gorgeous smile looking back at me. I still felt like this was some sort of incredible dream. Finally, I took my gaze away from the mirror and slowly looked down at my new body. It was the body of a Greek god. But instead being carved out of white marble, it was made of muscle and bone. Every body part in perfect proportion, all covered in a paper-thin layer of bronzed colored skin. My tanned, chiseled chest was sticking out from me like a slab of granite, moving in and out with every deep breath I took. My ripped abs were carved into my lean torso. I put my hands behind my head; then I blew as much air out as possible while tightening my stomach. I saw my abs form a perfect chiseled 6-pack that any man would have been envious of. I looked past my ripped abs, and saw that my quads had become as thick as tree trunks, each muscle group was clearly defined and separated. 

My skin looked like it had been painted on. There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on my body. My calves had grown to three times their previous size. I flexed my right calve and saw it separate into two distinct muscle groups. Each a perfectly formed diamond shape. I looked back up at the mirror and swung my right arm into a bicep curl and felt it with my other hand. I could feel the pumping blood coursing through my veins, filling the 19-inches of muscle. My bicep felt as hard as steel. It was surreal. I bounced my pecs up and down, feeling the weight of my newly formed chest. I did a lat spread for the first time. I could feel the thick muscles stretching out from my torso, my arms moving away from my sides, my shoulders rising in the air. These were things only a bodybuilder could do. Only then did I realize that I now possessed the body of an incredible athlete. As much as I disliked Matt, I had to give him credit for sculpting his body into such an amazing piece of art. I did a double-bicep pose and let out a loud, deep yell. "I can't believe this is happening to me!!!" Matt jumped back, intimidated at the sight of my new found strength. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you, Matt." "Thanks David, considering that's my body you've got there, I would appreciate that." "Since I do have your body, I might as well have your clothes too." With that, I pulled the muscle tank top off of Matt and slipped it on my chiseled form. Matt was shocked that I would be so forward. I slipped on the tank top over my sweaty body. It fit like a second skin. It clung to each section of my 6-pack, my thick chest, and my v-shaped torso. I walked over to Matt's locker and pulled out a pair of Speedo posing trunks. "I don't think you'll be needing these for a while, so I thought I might borrow a pair." Normally, Matt would have beat the crap out of anyone taking stuff out of his locker, but he knew he was in no position to argue with me. I quickly slipped off my tattered shorts and briefs. 

Matt noticed my hard-on, and was embarrassed to find himself getting aroused. I looked over and saw him trying to hide his erection. "Gee, you might want to go find one of those bath houses I've heard so much about." Matt's looked embarrassed, and his face turned bright red. I slid the Speedos over my muscular legs, slowing moving them over my throbbing hard-on. They were small and tight, conforming to every curve of my "package". They definitely didn't leave anything to the imagination. I could clearly see the head of my penis through the stretched, elastic material. My tight balls hanging underneath, each clearly defined. I walked over to the mirror, and was in awe. I had always fantasized about being a bodybuider, wearing a pair of sexy Speedos, and putting on a show in front of a mirror. The thought that this had become a reality was an incredible turn on. I was on the verge of cumming."Matt, your body is so amazing, I can't believe what kind of shape it's in!" "Thanks... I worked a long time to get it in shape, so what ever you do, don't damage it." "Well Matt, the body you're inhabiting isn't exactly chopped liver. For starters, you're over 3-inches taller than you were before, you're in pretty good shape, and now you are the owner of a very large piece of meat." Matt unzipped his shorts to find a soft 9-inch dick. "Whoa! You're fuckin' huge." "Thanks, Matt. I thought you might find it enjoyable." "My dick is only about 5-inches... sorry about that.", Matt said. "No problem. Size has never been that important to me." "Really. Well, if you had a small dick like mine, it would be. I've always wanted to have a huge piece of meat like this to play with." Matt smiled and started jerking himself off. 

While he was enjoying his new best friend, I started posing in front of the mirror, just like I had seen hundreds of times in all of those bodybuilder videos that I owned. I did a side chest, then an ab crunch, single bicep, double bicep, then a most muscular pose. Feeling the blood coursing through my pumped up arms, chest and legs was an incredible rush. My 5-inch dick was now hard as a rock, pulsing with the rapid beat of my heart. I took off my Speedo and grabbed my pre-cum soaked rod and started pumping. A few minutes later we both came, and shot our loads across the locker room floor. We had just wiped ourselves off with a couple of towels, when Mr. Asito walked in."So David, still don't believe in those unexplainable forces?" He was staring at me in Matt's body. "I do now, Mr. Asito." I showed him a double bicep pose. He smiled. "You did this to me?!", Matt chimed in. "You did it to yourself, Matt.", Mr. Asito answered back. "What are you talking about, it was the rings you gave us that did this to us." "That's only partially true. The rings allow the transference to take place, but they will only work if both parties wish for it to happen." "You mean I wanted to change bodies with David?" "In a matter of speaking, yes." "Why would I want to change places with that gay guy?" "Why indeed?" Mr. Asito started to leave the room. "You can't just leave me like this! Come back here!" 

Mr. Asito turned around, "Matt, no matter what happens, you and David will always be connected by the rings. David wears the dominant ring, which controls the passive ring, which you wear. This will make you a willing participant to any future transference he desires. You will have no say in the matter. But right now you have a much more important task you must reach deep within your soul and find the truth with which you are afraid to face. Until this happens, you will not be the man you long to be." "What do you mean, the truth with which I'm afraid to face? I'm not afraid of anything. I don't understand." "You will Matt." Mr. Asito left the room."I don't believe this is happening" "I know Matt this is pretty unreal. Let's just try to make the best of this. Let's get dressed and figure out what we're going to do." "The best of this?! My muscles are hijacked without my permission, and now I'm stuck in this body until I face some sort of truth within my soul. No, let's not make the best of this!" I felt a sudden surge of anger flow through me. 

I grabbed Matt under his arms, lifted him up and slammed him up against the lockers. "You ARE going to make the best of this, understand!", I roared at him in his deep voice. I could see the fear in Matt's eyes. Then I remembered that Matt was in my body, and that I had Matt's powerful muscles that could do real damage. I slowly put Matt back down on the floor. Matt moved back a couple of feet, afraid of what I might do next. "I'm sorry Matt, I don't know what came over me. I've never felt like that before. It was strange, the feeling of power that went through me. Are you ok?" "Yes, I'm fine. We wouldn't want to damage these goods, would we David." "No we wouldn't, Matt." We both smiled and got dressed.Doug walked in right after we closed our lockers. "Hey Matt, did David tell you I went for a walk?" Matt, in my body, was about to answer, but I cut him off, "Yes, he told me. No problem Doug." "What have you guys been up to?" "More than you can imagine. I feel like I've made quite a few gains.", I answered. "In 20 minutes? What kind of gains could you have possibly made in 20 minutes?" "A lot more than I expected." I smiled at Doug. 

He was taken aback. I think he saw something in my smile that Matt had never shown him. Matt looked over at me with a smirk, wondering what was going on. "Doug... David and I were going to go back to his place to talk about some methods of putting on muscle mass. Do you mind if we get together later tonight?" Concerned, Doug said "Matt, you're not going to do anything bad to David are you?" "No, trust me, I'm not going to hurt David in any way. Isn't that right David?" "Yeah, don't worry Doug, Matt's not going to hurt this body. Besides, I'm really interested in learning how to gain muscle mass fast." "Ok, as long as nothing bad happens to David, then it's cool." "So, I'll give you a call in a couple of hours Doug" I said with the biggest, sexiest smile I could muster. Doug looked pleasantly surprised and smiled back. Matt and I headed out the door. Matt was wondering what I was up to. He was suspicious that I would actually give him back his body, and that would be the end of it. He was right, of course. I had other more interesting plans in mind.

Switch - Part 2

 I took Matt's keys out of his pocket and headed for his Corvette. Matt protested, "Hey, you're not going to drive my Corvette are you?" "While I've got this body, I guess this is my car, right?" "Fine, drive my car." "Besides, I thought we'd go back to my place and switch bodies back. Unless there's something else you'd rather do?" "No. Let's get rolling!" Matt hopped in the passenger's seat and closed the door. As we were heading for my apartment I could tell that Matt was really anxious to get there. "Matt, having my body hasn't been THAT terrible an experience has it?" "Well, to be honest, I have enjoyed being taller and having your huge dick, and actually you're not in that bad of shape." 

"That's what I thought. Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else?" "Sure. I guess so.", Matt pondered, "Sometimes I wish I didn't have to act like the 'tough jock' all of the time." "Isn't it tiring putting on a front like that?" "Yeah. I get sick of it. I'm so busy living up to that image, I don't even know who I am anymore." "I think that's what Mr. Asito was talking about." Matt sat there quietly, thinking about what we had talked about. I could tell he was having a hard time dealing with his bottled up feeling. Finally we arrived at my apartment.After we stepped inside, I locked the door. "So David, are you really going to give me back my body?" "Yes, Matt. I plan to give you back your body." "Plan to? What do you mean 'Plan to'?" "Well, I do have a few conditions." "What kind of conditions, I'm afraid to ask." 

"I'm going to have access to your body whenever want. If I feel like having a workout in your body, we'll switch. If I feel like taking a shower in your skin, we'll switch. If I want to show off your body at the beach, we'll switch." "You can't be serious?" "I'm totally serious, Matt. But, if you'd rather I keep this hot bod permanently, no problem." "No, it's just that... you mean whenever you want to borrow my body, I have to let you?" "That about sums it up. If you want to have your body back you'll have to be available to swap whenever I want." Matt knew he didn't have any other options but to say yes. "Sure David, whatever you say." "I think you made the right decision Matt. But before we make the switch, I thought we could have some fun first." "What kind of fun?" "First I want you to put on the smallest clothes I've got in my dresser. Then were going to get my weight set and a bottle of baby oil and bring them back into the living room." "What are we going to do with weights and baby oil?" "Well Matt, I figured that you'd be so grateful to get back in your body that you wouldn't mind putting on a very special Chippendales show for me." Matt thought about it and figured if it meant getting his body back he'd do anything. "Yeah. Sure. I'll be glad to put on a show for you." I was surprised that he agreed so quickly, but I figured all he cared about was getting back his body. I told him where the baby oil was, and I went to my bedroom and picked up my 50 lb. weights, which now felt like they weighed about 10 lbs. and brought them into the living room.Matt walked in with the baby oil. 

He was wearing one of my old Apple t-shirts that was about two sizes too small. He had also put on my skin-tight aqua swim trunks. I was busy pumping up my biceps with my dumbbells. "You're looking good Matt. It looks like you're about to burst out of those clothes." I smiled at him. "Really cute, David. Can we just get this over with?" I began to rub baby oil on my arms and chest. "I thought I'd give myself one final thrill. This feels so good. I don't know how you were able to control yourself with this body. I've got a permanent hard on." I could see that my oil rub down was turning him on. He was trying to hide his erection with his hands. "Matt, what's going on? I thought you didn't get off on guys?" "I don't! It must be this fag body I'm stuck in! It's giving me gay thoughts." "Wait a minute, Matt. If that were true, I would suddenly have the hots for Pamela Lee Anderson. That hasn't happened." Matt was really getting flustered. "I don't know what's going on. Your 9-inch dick has got a mind of it own, ok!" "Alright Matt, if you don't want to deal with your feelings right now, we don't have to. Come on, let's get us back in our own bodies." Matt was almost in tears, "Thank you, David."We moved into the center of the room. We both tried to prepare ourselves for the electric shock from the rings. We both took a deep breath and snapped the rings together. Nothing happened. We pulled the rings apart and snapped them together again. Still, nothing. "What's wrong? Why isn't it working?", Matt said. "I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with what Mr. Asito had said." Matt was confused, "What are you talking about?" "Mr. Asito said that I have the dominant ring, and that I have the power to switch bodies whenever I want to." 

"So, don't you want to switch bodies?" "Sure I do. But maybe I have to do more than just put the rings together. Maybe I have to concentrate on wanting the transference to take place?" "Well, it's worth a try." Matt and I put the rings together and I focused all of my thoughts on switching bodies with him. Suddenly the rings began to glow. A cool breeze swirled around us. Our bodies became engulfed in a glowing energy. It wasn't as intense as it was the first time. It was if our bodies were getting use to the transformation. I felt like I was getting weaker, less heavy. I looked over at Matt and saw him starting to change. I could see his chest starting to expand under his t-shirt. His arms and legs were getting thicker, more muscular. I watched as his waist became narrower. I could see his ripped abs forming underneath the t-shirt. I could feel myself beginning to deflate. I looked down and saw my massive chest moving up my torso, losing its thickness. My legs were becoming less defined. My 19-inch biceps were shrinking before my eyes. I looked over at Matt and saw he had a huge erection in his shorts, and a big smile on his face. 

Matt's arms were swelling; straining on the skin-tight t-shirt I made him wear. I could see his rib cage expanding, his thickening chest straining against the fabric. It looked like something out of an Incredible Hulk episode. It was very erotic. I slid my Speedo down my legs and grabbed my throbbing dick. I could feel it growing longer and thicker in my hand. I began to grow taller and thinner. Matt was moaning from the pressure building inside his tight clothes. His sleeves started coming apart at the seams. His biceps poured out of the shredded sleeves. His collar was stretching to the breaking point. It ripped straight down the middle, quickly moving down his expanding chest. His shorts burst apart, exposing his enormous thighs. Matt face was changing from my face back to his. His features were becoming more masculine, more angular. I could feel my face changing back into its original form. A couple of minutes later our transformation had ended. The energy glow around our bodies disappeared and the cool breeze gradually died down. We both stood facing each other, drenched in sweat. Matt looked like a Greek statue draped in tattered rags. I couldn't contain myself anymore. I climaxed and shot my wad across the room. I could see that Matt had also cum in his shorts. It felt really strange being back in my body. I was 50 pounds lighter. I felt a lot weaker, like I was more vulnerable not having Matt's muscles.Matt pulled off his shredded t-shirt and swung his arms up into a double bicep pose. "Yes! I'm me again! Fantastic!" He just oozed masculinity and power, even more than I did when I possessed his body. Standing there in his tattered shorts, in that muscular pose, he looked like a comic book superhero. I turned around to grab the bottle of baby oil. "What do you think your doing, David!", Matt bellowed. 

"Remember our deal? The Chippendales show?" "There isn't going to be any Chippendales show." "What are you talking about, Matt?" "It's over. You aren't going to be borrowing my body for taking showers, for working out or anything else for that matter." "What do you mean by that?" "Here's exactly what I mean!" Matt suddenly punched me in the stomach. I had the wind knocked out of me, and collapsed to the floor writhing in pain. I was on my knees, holding my stomach, trying to catch my breath. Matt grabbed me by the hair and jerked my head up to face him. "I'm going to make sure you never get close enough to me to put these rings together." He picked me up and slammed me against the wall. He had me pinned with his left arm, two feet off the floor. "If you think I'm going to willingly trade bodies with you so I'll have to go around as a scrawny little gay guy, you've got another thing coming. Now that I've got my body back I'm not going to give it up!" I had never seen Matt so angry. His jet black eyes looked cold and distant. I wasn't sure what he was capable of doing to me. I knew that if I didn't want to get really hurt by him, I would have to try to switch bodies again. If I tried and failed, I knew Matt would beat the crap out of me. 

I wasn't sure if the transference could work without connecting the rings first. But I figured I had better take a chance, not knowing what Matt was going to do to me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my ring and Matt's body. Matt looked at me and wondered why I had my eyes closed. "What the hell are you doing?! Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you?" I opened my eyes, but didn't answer. I kept focusing on my ring. "...well, you'd be right. I am going to hurt you. Just enough to teach you a lesson, so you'll stay away from me and this ring." Matt pulled back his fist and was about to hit me in the face. All of a sudden Matt froze in his place. He had a confused look on his face. He didn't know why he had stopped in his tracks. Slowly, Matt let me slide back down to the floor. He almost looked like he was in a trance. I looked down and saw my ring was glowing. Matt noticed I was looking down at my hand. "Oh no, the ring! It can't be!" "It looks like I won't be getting that broken nose after all." Matt was staring at the ring with a worried look on his face. "We'll see about that." 

Matt was fighting against the force emanating from the ring. He was trying with all his might to break the hold the ring had over him. "You're not going to do this to me again!", he moaned. I stared at my ring and spoke aloud, "I want to switch bodies with Matt." The ring began to glow even brighter. Matt screamed in pain, "Noooo!" His ring began to glow too. "Matt, stop fighting the ring, it's hurting you!", I yelled. Slowly he started to loosen his tight fist. "...I won't let you do this!" His arm gradually moved down to his side. "...make it stop!" I felt the force of my ring pull my arm into the air. Reluctantly, Matt did the same. "...can't let this happen!" Matt's arm was shaking, trying to fight the powerful forces at work. I stared at his ring and said, "I want Matt's body!" His ring began to glow even brighter. The rings moved towards each other as if a magnetic force was attracting them. "...please David! Ahhhhh!", Matt cried. But it was too late. The rings joined once again. 

This time the light emanating from the rings was blinding. A huge jolt of electricity ran through our bodies. I went rigid and clenched my teeth from the pain. Finally the shock wave subsided. I could feel a huge surge of power building up in my body. All of my muscle fibers were burning inside my body. Sweat started pouring down my face and chest. Suddenly, as if all of the stored energy was released at once, I began to transform into Matt at an accelerated speed. My chest burst outward and downward, ribcage expanding, biceps and triceps swelling, forearms thickening, shoulders getting bigger and rounder, waist narrowing, abs tightening, legs and calves inflating, lats becoming wider, back growing denser and more defined. My face morphed into Matt's in a matter of seconds. I could hear Matt yelling in pain, trying to resist the transformation. His screams quickly raised an octave as he unwillingly changed back into my body. I had gained 50 pounds of muscle in less than a minute. The surge of strength was incredible. The rings stopped glowing and separated from each other. I looked down at my bronzed body and saw the sweat trickle over my thick, hard chest and ripped abs. 

I was in Matt's skin again. I felt my etched stomach with Matt's manly hands. This time it felt like I belonged in Matt's body. I looked over at Matt. He looked weak and tired. He was breathing deeply, exhausted from the failed battle with the rings.I wondered to myself if the rings would have the power to make Matt more submissive and make myself more aggressive. I focused on my ring, thinking how much I wanted to be more aggressive like Matt. Both of our rings began to pulse with energy. I saw an arc of light go from my ring to his. I felt a rush of adrenaline flowing through my body. Matt held his head as if he were dizzy. The rings glow gradually faded out. "Are you ok, Matt?" "Yeah, I think so." "Good. I wanted to make sure you were well enough to start your new job." "New job?" I smiled at him with his pearly white teeth, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. You're going to be my very own personal muscle slave." "Muscle slave?" "That's right. As punishment for your very bad behavior, I've decided that you need to learn what it's like to take orders from a real man." "I am not going to be your muscle slave, David. Forget it." 

Without thinking, I reached over and grabbed Matt by the throat and easily lifted him into the air. Matt started gasping. "What was that you were saying?" Matt started choking. He grabbed my arm trying to loosen my grip. "What's the matter, Matt? I can't quite hear you." I loosened my grip slightly. Matt stopped pulling at my arm, knowing that it was a waste of time. Still gasping he managed to say, "Ok -- I'll be -- your muscle -- slave." I let him drop to the floor. He collapsed to the floor in a crumpled pile. I didn't even care that it was my old body lying there. "What are you waiting for slave?! Get up and grab the baby oil over there!", I demanded. Slowly Matt got off the floor and walked over to the baby oil sitting on the table. I picked up the dumbbells on the floor and started doing bicep curls. My arms quickly pumped up and became rock hard. "Rub oil on my massive biceps, slave!", I demanded. Matt obeyed my command without hesitation. He poured the baby oil in his right hand and started rubbing the oil over my 19-inch guns. "That feels good slave. Now rub some oil over my chiseled chest." "Come on David.", Matt pleaded. "Quiet slave!", I shouted; and pushed him down to the floor. "You will call me Master when you are worshiping me." Matt could tell I was serious in my demand and slowly picked himself off the floor. "Yes, Master", he said softly, not wanting to anger me further. 

He began to rub oil over my thick, hard chest. I expanded my rib cage and heaved my chest out under his hands. "Doesn't that feel good, Slave?" He put his hand to his head as if he had a fever. I could tell the rings were beginning to have an effect. "Yes... yes Master it feels very good." "Excellent Slave. Now slide your hands down to my sexy abs." I blew some air out and tightened my abs into a hard 6-pack. Matt rubbed oil across them, feeling each recessed groove with his fingers. My display of power was turning him on. He felt aroused giving pleasure to what was once his own body. I could see he was getting an erection. "Ok, Slave. Oil up my quads and glutes." Matt started to slide his hands down to my legs. I grabbed his hands in a vice grip. Matt winced from the pain. "Slave? What do you say?" Matt was rubbing his hard-on. "Please Master, may I apply oil to your massive legs?" I let go of his crushed hands. "How do I know you really want to feel my muscles, Slave?" Matt unzipped his shorts, exposing his pulsing 9-inch cock.I was feeling more masculine, as if I had been injected with huge dose of testosterone. This must be what it's like to completely become Matt. His body and mind surging with aggression, power and masculinity. I knew that the rings had granted my request. I thought I would test the rings power further. 

I grabbed Matt's hand and snapped the rings back together. "Hey, what are you doing?!", Matt protested. "I'm just trying something out. Be patient, Slave." I concentrated and spoke aloud, "I want to be 5-inches taller and gain 50-pounds of muscle." "No David, please don't!" The rings began to glow again. "David, I'm sorry I tried to hurt you. I swear! Please make it stop!" The glow gradually surrounded our bodies. I watched as Matt slowly began to shrink. Matt had a frightened look on his face as he shrunk from 6-foot-1 down to 5-foot-8. His muscle tone started to disappear. His arms and legs were losing most of their mass. His shoulders were narrowing. He looked just like a small teenager. He must have weighed about 120 lbs. Suddenly, I felt a surge of power coursing through my body. "It's working... I'm getting taller.", I said in a deeper voice. My body kept stretching taller, until I reached a height of 6-foot-3. I felt my muscles starting to burn. My biceps began to swell with new muscle. I watched as my 19-inch biceps grew to 23-inches in a matter of seconds. I looked down and saw my chest expanding, getting thicker, wider, heavier. My arms were moving further from my body as my lats started to widen. My waist was actually narrowing, giving me a more defined v-shape. 

My quads grew 3-inches larger and my calves ballooned out a couple more inches. Each muscle group was even harder and more sculpted than before, if that were possible. The rings glow subsided. I felt like a god standing in front of Matt. I was 7-inches taller and a 150 lbs. heavier than him. At 6-foot 3-inch with 270 lbs. of solid muscle, I towered over him. The sight of a smaller, weaker Matt cowering below me was a huge turn on. I felt incredible power, knowing that I could completely dominate him. I tightened my chiseled legs and swung my arms up into a double-bicep pose. "You will worship this body now!", I said in a deep, thunderous bass. I threw the bottle of baby oil at Matt. The force almost knocked him over. "Get to work Slave!", I bellowed at him. He was shaking from fear, but obediently followed my orders. He began to apply the oil to my massive new body. "Here weakling, let me help you reach my chest." I grabbed Matt by the waist and picked him up like he were a rag doll. He rubbed oil on my thick chest and broad shoulders. I tilted Matt sideways and grabbed his side and one of his scrawny legs. I began to raise him overhead as if he were a dumbbell. He was so light I could have lifted him dozens of times without breaking a sweat. "Put me down, David! This isn't funny." I raised him towards the ceiling about 10 times and finally put him back on the floor. Matt was so frustrated he lashed out at me. With all his strength he slugged me in the stomach. I barely felt a thing. Matt grabbed his own hand. 

"Damn. Your abs are hard as steel! I think I broke my wrist." "I guess things have changed since the last time you punched me in the stomach." Matt looked embarrassed and worried. "In fact, maybe I should return the favor and see if you can take a blow to the stomach." "Please don't hit me David. If you punch me using that arm you'll probably kill me!" I thought I'd scare him a little bit. "Well, I guess there's only one way to find out." I pulled my arm back, as if I was going to follow through with my threat. Matt collapsed to the floor, covering his head with his thin, boney arms. He started crying, begging me not to hurt him.We both heard someone honking their car's horn out front. Then I remembered that my best friend Brian was stopping by. He was suppose to wait for me, and I would come downstairs. "I can't let Brian see us like this. We better switch back." I pulled Matt up off the floor. He looked relieved. "If you misbehave again I'll leave us like this permanently. Understand, Slave?" "Yes, Master." The horn blared again, then we heard a car door slam. I connected both rings. Then I spoke aloud, "I want to become Matt again." They began to glow again. The doorbell rang. It was Brian. "David are you in there?" Our transformation was just beginning. I whispered to Matt, "Tell him you'll be there in a minute." Matt yelled, "Just a minute." "Is that you David? You sound funny." Matt's voice was a higher pitch than normal. Matt started growing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Hold on a sec." I could feel myself shrinking. We were now almost at the same height. "David, what's going on in there?" "Ummm, I'll be there shortly..." The transformation was almost over. Brian started knocking on the door. 

"Come on David, let me in! Quit joking around!" The metamorphosis finally completed. The rings separated from each other. We were back the way we were before I had started my experiment.I unlocked the door and swung it open. "Hi Bry, come on in!" Brian was shocked to see Matt answer the door. He was even more surprised to see Matt covered in baby oil, wearing nothing but a Speedo. He took two steps back. "Matt what -? what are you ?- doing here?", Brian said nervously. I thought it might be fun to give Bry a thrill. "Step inside Brian, David and I were just having a muscle worship session." I grabbed Brian's arm and pulled him into the room. Brian saw what appeared to be David, standing in the middle of the living room with baby oil on his hands and his shorts pulled down. "David, what's going on here? What is Matt doing here? I thought Matt hated you? I don't understand." Matt wasn't sure what to say. He knew my friend wouldn't believe that he was actually Matt in David's body. "Go ahead David, answer him.", I ordered Matt. "Like Matt said, were having a muscle worship session." Brian looked really confused. "Hey Brian, David and I have worked out our differences. We're a lot closer than you think. You might even say I know David inside and out." I gave Brian a big smile, trying to reassure him. "I don't get it. The last time I talked to David he said that you had called him 'a big faggot'. Now you're the best of friends? What gives?" "Well, whatever problems David and I had in the past are ancient history. Trust me. You're looking at a brand new Matt." Brian looked skeptical. I closed the front door. Brian started to look concerned. "David, hand me the baby oil and go sit down over there." "Yes, Master." Matt obediently handed me the baby oil and sat in the chair in the corner of the room. I turned to Brian. "David told me the other day that you and him had some kind of a secret fantasy involving me." 

Brian was shocked and embarrassed. He turned to Matt, "David, I can't believe you told him that secret!" I tried to pacify Brian, "Please don't blame David. We've shared a lot of our private thoughts and fantasies with each other. That's what friends do." "Well, I guess I understand. But it still makes me really uncomfortable to have you standing here, knowing that." "No problem, don't worry about it. In fact, I'm here to make your fantasy become a reality." Brian's interest had grown a bit. "What do you mean 'make my fantasy a reality'?" "I think you know what I mean, Brian." I winked at him. Then I poured some baby oil in my right hand. Brian was staring in disbelief. I rubbed the oil over my chiseled chest, slowly moving my hand in a circular motion over each pec and around each nipple. Gradually I moved both of my hands down to my 6-pack. I arched my back as I rubbed the oil over my abs, then back up to my chest. I could see Brian was getting turned on. I gently grabbed Brian's hands and placed them on my muscular chest. "Is this part of your fantasy, Brian?" "Oh god yeah, Matt!" He had a major hard-on. I moved his hands down to my ripped abs. I knew Brian had always wanted to do that. We both had fantasized about having our way with Matt. Now I was making that dream come true for both of us. "Oh Matt, your body is so hot. I can't believe you're letting me do this to you!" "It's my pleasure Brian. I'm enjoying this too. How about rubbing some oil on my pumped up biceps?" I thrust my arms up into a double-bicep pose, flared out my lats, and tightened my abs and quads. Brian had to control himself from cumming in his shorts. "Matt, you're a fucking Greek god. I want to feel every inch of your body." He reached up and grabbed my solid 19-inch arms. "This is unbelievable! Your arms are made of stone." 

Then he moved his hands over my lats, and down to my quads. "Oh god! You feel so fucking good! Every part of you is hard as a rock!" Brian couldn't control himself any more and finally came. He shot his full load in his shorts. "OH GOD! ? That was the greatest orgasm I've ever had!" "Well I think I'm going to need a little help in that department myself, Bry." I slid down my Speedo over my muscled quads and held out my hard cock to him. Brian gladly knelt down and put his mouth over my throbbing meat. I was surprised what a good job he was doing. He knew exactly how to bring pleasure to this body. He put his lips on the head of my penis and tenderly moved his tongue around the outside of it. I could feel my balls tightening from the intense pleasure he was bringing me. He had his hands on my quads and slowly moved them up to my glutes, squeezing them tightly. His hands felt so good on my tight glutes. He started to pump his head up and down on my cock, taking in all 5-inches into his mouth and down his throat. I couldn't contain myself any longer and shot my load. Brian swallowed every drop with a big smile on his face. I knew that giving Matt a blow job was another one of Brian's fantasies. I looked over at Matt in the corner. He had been masturbating in the chair and had just climaxed too."Now that we all got are 'rocks' off. I think it's time we let Brian in on our little secret." Puzzled, Brian said "What are you talking about Matt? What little secret?" 

I turned to Matt in my body, "Go ahead and tell him Slave." "Yes, Master. I'm Matt in David's body and David is in my body.", he said matter-of-factly. Brian looked at him in total disbelief. "What the fuck are you talking about David!?" I spoke up, "That's not David over there, Brian. I'm David here in Matt's body." "What kind of shit are trying to pull on me!? I suck your dick and get you off, then you unload this pile of crap on me! I don't think this is a bit funny." Brian started heading for the door. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards me. "Don't hurt me Matt! I'll believe whatever you want, just don't hurt me!", Brian pleaded. "I'm not going to hurt you Bry. It's me, David, in this body. I would never hurt you, babe." "Stop saying that! Why are you trying to convince me that you're David? I don't care who you are. I just want to get out of here!" Brian was trying to pull away from me. "Listen Bry. Remember the time we hid in the locker room at the gym and snuck into the special shower stall? Then we both jacked off peaking through the hole in the wall while we watched Matt lathering up his body?" Brian stopped pulling away from me. "That doesn't mean anything. You could have forced David to tell you that story." Matt got up from his chair; "You guys were getting off watching me in the shower? I knew there was something up with that hole!" "David, you weren't being watched, we were the ones watching Matt! What's wrong with you?" Brian said flustered. "I told you, you fuckin' faggot, I'm Matt!" Brian was shocked that David would talk to him in that tone. "Matt, you apologize to Brian, now!" "Yes, Master. I'm sorry I said that to you Brian." "Man, this is just too weird! I don't know what to think anymore." Brian was really confused and upset. I pleaded with Brian, "Bry, do you honestly think that Matt would be willing to come over to my... uh David's apartment and take off his clothes and let you rub oil on his body, then help him get off? Do you honestly think homophobic Matt would do something like that?" Brian thought about it for a minute. "Well, no. But it's easier to believe that, than to fall for your crock-o-shit story about switching bodies!" "Bry, I don't know what else I can say -? wait a minute, I think I have an idea. Come over here, Matt. We're going to put on a show for Brian." Matt did as he was told. "Bry, you stand over there." "Now what are you going to do Matt? Switch bodied with David again?" he said jokingly. 

"Something like that. Just stand back and watch." I concentrated on the rings, thinking how I wanted Matt and I to have the same size body. The rings started to glow. Matt was looking forward to the transference and willingly put the rings together. A cool breeze started swirling around us. The light in the room began to dim. Brian looked scared. "Don't worry Bry, it's going to be ok." I shouted. The rings were glowing brighter. The energy slowly enveloped our bodies. Matt and I began to change. Brian watched as he saw his friend David's body start to swell up. He looked over at me. I had become a lot less muscular in a matter of seconds. I started growing taller and thinner. Matt was shrinking and gaining muscle. Brian couldn't believe his eyes. The breeze died down and the rings stopped glowing and came apart. We stood there facing each other. It looked like we were staring into a mirror. We had exactly the same body. We each sported a 7-inch hard-on and 16-inch biceps. My chest didn't stick out as far as before, and my 6-pack wasn't as defined as it had been. 

But we both looked like those men you'd see in the International Male catalog. We each had a faded out tattoo on our shoulder, and a partial appendix scar on our stomach. Matt was checking out his improved physique. Brian came over to me and put his hands on my face. "David it really is you! Part of you looks like Matt, and part of you looks like -- you! It's amazing!" "Bry, I'm glad I finally convinced you that I'm really David inside here." "What I don't get is that you let me grope your body and give you a blow job. What's up with that?" "Well, I figured this might be the only chance either one of us would be able to experience this incredible body. Are you mad at me?" "Nah. I could never get mad at you. You're my bud. Besides, it was pretty hot wasn't it." Bry gave me a big smile. "Bry, now I can tell you the whole story." I told him all about Mr. Asito, finding the rings in the lockers, and all the bad stuff that went down in this apartment. Brian turned to Matt, "You fuckin' prick! You were going to beat up David after he gave you back your body!?" "What are you going to do about it, little man?" Matt grabbed Brian, and pinched his shoulder. Brian let out a yell. "He's not going to do anything about it -? I am!" I grabbed Matt's hand and snapped the rings back together. "Oh shit! I didn't mean to hurt your friend. Please don't!" "It's too late for apologies Matt." I stared at the rings, "I want Matt's body." "David I'm sorry... NOOOO!" 

A few minutes later I stood there in Matt's body once again.Brian walked over to me, amazed that I had become Matt again. "Dave, you should leave Matt in your old body forever. That fuckin' homophobe doesn't deserve this body. If he had the chance, he would beat the crap out of both of us." "Maybe you're right Bry. I'll have to give it some thought." Matt chimed in, "What do you mean you're going to keep my body forever!? That body belongs to me!" "Not right now, it doesn't. I think Mr. Asito was right when he said, Until you find the truth with which you are afraid to face, you will not be the man you long to be." "Mr. Asito is a crazy old man who is full of shit!" "Maybe so, but until I say otherwise, these bods stay as they are; and if I hear any more lip service out of you, I'll make you SO passive that you'll be afraid of your own god damn shadow! Is that understood Slave?" Matt knew when he was beaten, "Yes, Master." "In fact, while I've got this huge body, I should have something that goes with my size." I concentrated on my ring. An arc of light went from my ring to his. Panicked, Matt said "What are you doing?!" "You'll see soon enough Matt." I felt a sudden movement in my Speedo. Smiling, I looked down and saw my dick starting to grow. Matt had a shocked look on his face. He grabbed his shorts and unzipped them. He saw his 9-inch dick begin to shrink. "Oh, no! Come on David! Please!"

Matt's dick continued to narrow and shrink until it was 5-inches. I watched as my dick became thicker and longer. It grew so long that the head of my penis pushed itself out of my Speedo and was rubbing against my 6-pack. "That's more like it. I guess I'll have to buy a larger Speedo, right Matt?" "Please David. Don't leave me with my old dick and your body. It isn't fair." "We'll see Matt. I'll probably give my dick back to you, but right now I think I'm going to be needing it for later." Brian walked over to me. "Dave, that was really cool. I got a hard-on watching your dick grow like that. Maybe you can give me a huge dick too?" "Maybe later, Bry. Right now I've got other plans. Why don't you take Matt over to Ripples, so he can meet some of our friends and get used to being David. I've got a hot date with a very special guy." "Isn't Ripples that queer bar down at the beach?" Brian swung Matt around to face him. "It's called a gay bar, scrawny boy." "Matt you be a good boy and we'll see about switching back. See ya guys later. Let me know if he misbehaves, Bry." "Will do, Dave -? um I mean Matt." We both smiled at each other. Before I headed out, an interesting idea popped into my head. I reached over and grabbed Matt's hand and slipped off the ring. "Hey! What are you doing, I need that ring to switch back into my body!" Matt said concerned. "Don't worry Matt, I promise I won't lose it. I thought it might come in handy later tonight." I stuffed my erection back inside my Speedo. I kissed Bry on the cheek and headed out the door. I jumped in Matt's Corvette and headed back to the gym. Bry and Matt got in Bry's car and headed over to Ripples. I was really looking forward to seeing Doug again. I had a feeling something might happen between us tonight.

Switch - Part 3

I headed back to the gym, hoping that Doug would still be there. As I was driving, I began to feel more comfortable in my new body. It was if I was getting used to being in Matt's skin. It felt so natural having my muscular arms holding on to the steering wheel and gear shift, and my thick, heavy chest pressed against my skin-tight tank top. I could feel the muscles flexing in my massive legs as I used the clutch, gas pedal and brake. I looked up in the rear-view mirror and saw Matt's handsome face staring back at me. I smiled as I felt my 9-inch dick begin to swell in my Speedo.Brian and Matt arrived at Ripples. "Can't we just tell David that we went in, and do something else instead?", Matt pleaded. "I don't think so Matt. David wouldn't like that, and I don't think you want to get David mad right now." Brian grabbed Matt's arm and led him to the entrance. There was a big guy standing at the door. "Hey, how's it going David?", the doorman said, "...you haven't been here in a while." Brian answered for Matt, "Well, he hasn't been feeling like himself lately." "Oh, you've been under-the-weather, David?", he said with a concerned look on his face. Matt spoke up, "Yeah, you might say that. I've been feeling pretty weak." "Well, I hope you start to feel like your old self again real soon." "I'm looking forward to that dude." Brian grabbed Matt's arm and led him through the door. 

Matt was surprised to find the inside of the place looked just like every other bar he had been in. There were a couple of pool tables off to the right. Neon beer signs were hanging all over the place. There were a couple of guys in the corner playing darts. "This isn't at all what I expected.", Matt said to Brian. "What did you expect, guys doing it with each other on top of the bar?" Embarrassed, Matt said "No, it's just that I had this picture in my mind of what a gay bar is like. Ya know, kinda sleazy, everything in the dark. This place is just like my hangout." "I'm glad you like it Matt. David and I come here all the time. It's the only place we can go where we feel safe and can be comfortable being ourselves. The outside world can be pretty cruel sometimes." Matt didn't know what to say. He knew Brian had directed that last comment at him. Feeling guilty, Matt looked down at the floor and said "I'm really sorry Brian." "Thanks Matt. I have a feeling you really meant that. Let's go on upstairs and have some fun."I arrived at the gym and saw Doug's car parked out front. "Good, he's still here.", I said to myself in my deep baritone voice. I walked into the gym and saw Doug laying down on the bench press. It looked like he was trying to lift two or three-hundred pounds. The weights on the bar looked huge. I knew as David, I wouldn't have been able to lift half of that weight; but with Matt's body I could easily handle it. I walked over. "Need some help with that?" I gave Doug a big smile. Surprised, he sat up. "Matt, you're back? How is David? He's ok isn't he? I was really getting worried." It was sweet how concerned Doug was about my well being. "I told you nothing bad was going to happen to David. Trust me, he's fine. In fact, I'd say he feels like a new man today." "That's great Matt. 

I knew in my heart you wouldn't do anything to hurt him.", Doug said relieved. "So Doug, do you need a spotter?", I said smiling. "Sure Matt. You can spot me ANY time." Realizing how forward that must have sounded, Doug started to blush. I thought it was cute how shy Doug was. It made him even more attractive, if that were possible. Doug laid back down on the bench and slid under the barbell. I went to the back of the bench and got in position. I watched as Doug hefted the massive weight off the weight rack and dropped it down to his chest. He let out a grunt as he forced the weight upward. His upper body was shaking as he fought against the force of gravity. He was able to do 10 reps before finally giving out. I grabbed the weight and helped him put it back up on the rack. Doug looked so sexy as he laid there breathing so heavily covered in sweat. I couldn't control myself anymore. I walked around to face him, bent down and kissed him on the lips. Suddenly, Doug grabbed me around my waist and pulled me on top of him. It felt wonderful pressed against Doug's muscular body. We wrapped our arms around each other while embraced in our passionate kiss. The kiss seemed to last an eternity, but was more like a few minutes. "Matt, I've dreamed of this happening, but I never thought it actually would." "Well, I was recently told that sometimes the impossible is possible." Smiling, Doug said "That's definitely true for me." "Me too Doug." "Matt, why don't we get cleaned up and go back to my place?" "That's a great idea Doug." We kissed each other again and headed for the showers.Brian and Matt headed up the stairs. They could hear the thumping bass of the disco music getting louder. About halfway up the stairs Matt recognized the song as that old gay standby "It's Rainin' Men". When they reached the top of the stairs they saw about forty young men dancing under the flashing disco lights and twirling mirrored balls. There were a couple dozen men standing around the dance floor, drinking, talking and smoking. Matt had never seen so many gay men in one place before, and they all seemed to be having a great time. Brian noticed how nervous Matt looked, "Matt, how about a drink?" "That sounds like a great idea, Brian." Matt watched the couples dancing as they slowly made their way over to the bar. Matt turned away from the dance floor and looked for the bartender. There standing behind the bar was the most attractive man Matt had ever seen. His face was so incredibly beautiful. Golden blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, masculine chiseled features and a well manicured goatee. 

His body was truly a work of art. He had the same muscle mass that Matt used to have, but his torso had a more sculpted look. His waist was narrower and his shoulders were wider, making him look like some sort of living, breathing Adonis. Yet as intimidating a figure as he was, he projected a great deal of warmth and kindness. He was wearing a muscle t-shirt and skin-tight Levi's cut-offs. No man had ever had this kind of effect on him before. Brian saw how entranced Matt was of the bartender. "He's quite a sight isn't he?" "Uhhhh, yeah I guess so." "Ya know Matt... Kevin has known David for a long time." "Kevin? His name his Kevin?" "Yeah, he really has a thing for David, and right now you're David. If you play your cards right you never know." Brian winked at Matt. Matt blushed.Doug and I walked into the changing room and started to undress. We both enjoyed watching each other take off our clothes. I could see that Doug was really getting turned on. I was getting aroused too. He slowly pulled off his bikini briefs revealing a throbbing 8-inch hard on. I smiled at him and removed my bulging Speedo. Doug's smile turned into a look of shock and surprise. I was puzzled. "What's wrong Doug?" Doug didn't say anything, he was staring at my erection. "Don't you like what you see?" "Sure I do Matt, but I'm a little confused." "What do you mean?" "I've seen you naked before Matt, and I don't want to sound cruel but I don't remember you being so well endowed." "What are you talking about?" "Matt, I've seen you hard... you're dick is 5-inches, 5 1/2 tops! What are you doing with that?" I looked down and saw my 9-inch dick pointing up at me. I forgot that I had borrowed my longer dick from my old body. "Doug I think I can explain, but I doubt if you'll believe me." "Try me." "Ok, I'll give you the Readers Digest version. For starters, I'm not the Matt that you've always known. I'm actually David inside Matt's body." 

I could already tell that Doug thought I was jerking him around. I continued, "You see it all started when I saved Mr. Asito from a falling tower of weights. He ended up giving Matt and me these special rings..." I showed him the ring on my finger and pulled the other ring out of my pocket. "When Matt joined the rings together they switched our bodies. I became Matt, and Matt became me, ...uh that is he became David." Doug had a blank look on his face. "Later I decided to switch our bodies back as long as I could become Matt whenever I wanted. Matt didn't like that, and had some other ideas. So, I kept his body and borrowed my -- I mean David's larger dick." Doug just stared at me, wondering what to make of my crazy story. "Doug, I know it sounds totally farfetched, but I swear to God it's true. I'm really David in Matt's body." "I don't know what to think. Right now I can't decide if I want to fuck your brains out or if I should call 911 and put you into a padded cell." "Personally, I like your first choice better." I gave him a smile. Doug didn't seem amused. "I should put back on my clothes and get the hell out of here, but something in your eyes is telling me not to." "That's good Doug, maybe you're seeing the real me that's inside." "This is getting really weird. Is there any way you can prove to me that you're telling the truth?" "I'm not sure." "That's what I thought, I'm outta here." Doug started to grab his clothes off the floor. "Wait a minute, I just remembered something. Remember when you told David that you knew he was gay, and you were tired of pretending to be the straight jock? Then you told him that you really liked Matt and that you wanted to have a gay friend that you could confide in?" Doug looked shocked. "How did you know that?" "Exactly. If I were really Matt do you think that David would have told me, I mean Matt, what we had talked about?" Doug pondered what I had said, "No, David wouldn't have told Matt." "See? That proves that I'm really David." "I'm still not convinced. 

Maybe you forced David to tell you that secret. Maybe that's what you did when you went over to his place earlier." I was getting frustrated. I wasn't sure what else to do. Suddenly an idea struck me.Kevin came over to Brian and Matt. "Hi guys, how's it going? Hey David, I haven't seen you in here in a while. I've missed you." Matt couldn't stop staring at Kevin. Up close he was even more stunning. Kevin noticed that Matt was in a trance. "David, are you ok?" Matt finally snapped out of it. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Yeah, I've missed you too." "Is there anything special I can get you?" Matt thought to himself, "Sure I'd like to see you naked in my bed!" Matt couldn't believe he was having thoughts like that about another man. Brian could see that Matt wasn't going to answer Kevin, so he spoke up, "We'll have a couple of screwdrivers." "Sure thing." Kevin walked off to make the drinks. "Matt, what's up with you? You're drooling all over Kevin. What's going on?" "I don't know. I've never been attracted to men before. I don't know what's happening to me!" "Maybe you're finally getting in touch with your feelings?" Kevin came back with the drinks. "What do we owe you for the drinks?", Matt asked. "No charge for you. But I'm sure you'll think of some way to repay me." Kevin gave Matt a huge smile and put his hand on top of Matt's. Matt's face turned beet red. "It's so cute the way you're embarrassed by the smallest sign of affection." Matt stared into Kevin's beautiful blue eyes and it felt like his legs were turning to jello. Brian spoke up, "Well I guess I'll leave you two guys alone... three's a crowd." Panicked, Matt said "Brian don't leave!" Kevin interjected, "Bry you're a good guy. It's nice of you to give Dave and me some privacy." "It's my pleasure." 

Kevin patted him on the shoulder. Brian winked at Kevin and walked away. Matt was nervous and excited. He didn't know what was about to happen. "I've got a half-hour break. Why don't we go in the office and talk?" Kevin came out from behind the bar and grabbed Matt's hand and led him into the private office."Doug how would you like to try an experiment?" "What kind of experiment?" "Well, if my idea really works it will prove that I was telling the truth; and if it doesn't work you can put me in the padded cell. Ok?" Doug thought about it for a minute. "Alright Matt, if it doesn't work you promise to tell me the real story?" "I promise. Let's go into the locker room. People going by can see us out here." "Ok Matt, we're in the locker room. What's the experiment? Don't tell me your going to switch our bodies?" Doug started laughing. "That's exactly what I'm planning to do. At least that's what I'm hoping to do.", I said concerned. "Fine, let's get this over with." I handed Doug the other ring. "Here put this on." "So now what? I've put on the ring, now were suppose to put them together and switch bodies, right?" I could tell Doug was just humoring me. I knew if this didn't work, Doug would storm out of here and never want to talk to me again. "Ok Doug, I just wanted to let you know what's about to happen. When we put the rings together the room is going to darken, you'll feel a cool breeze swirling around you, and there will be a surge of energy that will flow through your body." "Got it, Matt." I had a feeling that Doug wasn't even paying attention to what I was saying, and whatever he had listened to he didn't believe at all. "Ready Doug?" "Yeah, sure Matt." 

Doug and I put the rings together. Nothing happened. "Now we have to concentrate on switching bodies. Close your eyes and concentrate." We both closed our eyes. Still nothing happened. "We should stare at our own ring and speak out loud our desire. You should say "I want Matt's body" and I'll say that I want your body." "Matt come on, enough is enough." "Please Doug, just humor me for a little while longer." "Ok, I'll give you one more minute." "Great... ready, get set, 1, 2, 3, go!" We both made our demands to the rings, "I want Matt's body." "I want Doug's body." We waited. Still nothing happened. "I don't understand Doug. I was sure that it was going to work. I don't know what went wrong?" "Sorry Matt, I know you really believed that we were going switch bodies. When you decide to tell me the real story give me call, until then I don't want to hear any more of your fairy tales." Doug grabbed his clothes and got dressed. I decided to get dressed too. I thought I might be able to convince Doug that I hadn't made up the whole thing. We heard a voice behind us. "Those who don't wish to believe, make the possible... impossible." Surprised, we both turned around. Mr. Asito was in the doorway. "Hi Mr. Asito, it's me David." "Yes David, I know it is you." "Oh great, you've got Mr. Asito in on your little joke too.", Doug said sarcastically. Mr. Asito turned to face Doug, "David cares a great deal for you. He would never do anything to hurt you. Why is it so hard for you to believe in something that is beyond this world?" Before Doug could answer, Mr. Asito placed his fingers on Doug's face. Doug stood there unable to move. He looked like he was in a trance. "You must release your mind. You must release your doubt. Now you can believe." Mr. Asito removed his hand, then turned to me. "I can see Doug is a very special to you. Be patient with him. He will come around soon enough." He winked at me, then headed out the door."Are you ok Doug?" "I think so. I feel pretty strange." "Mr. Asito had done the same thing to me. That's how he found out I wanted to be Matt." 

"You ARE Matt. Oh, never mind. I just want to get out of here." "Come on Doug. Let's try it one more time, please." "You're not going to let up are you?" "Please Doug. Just humor me." "If I do, then will you leave me alone and let me go home?" "Yes, I swear." "Ok, one last time." Doug and I put the rings together again. "Concentrate on your ring. You have to want the transformation to take place, otherwise it won't work." "Alright, I'm concentrating. I want your body. I want your body." I focused on my ring. "I want Doug's body." A few seconds had passed. "Matt I feel strange, like I'm burning up." "Me too. I think it's beginning." We both looked down at the rings. They were starting to glow. "Matt what's happening?" "It worked. We're going to switch bodies!" The lights began to dim. A cool breeze started to flow around us. The energy from the rings slowly traveled up our arms and gradually enveloped our entire bodies. I grabbed Doug with my free hand and pulled him against me. I smiled at him. Doug looked frightened. "Don't worry Doug, if you don't fight it, it won't hurt as much." "Ok! I'll try not to fight it." "Give me a kiss for good luck." "A kiss?" I reached up and kissed Doug and held him tight. We continued kissing passionately when the transformation started. I could feel my body begin to change. My shoulders were getting wider, my waist was tightening. My abs were shifting position. I could feel Doug's body changing while we were pressed up against each other. My legs and torso were stretching taller. When we separated from our kiss we were exactly the same height. "Matt this is incredible! I'm becoming you!" "I know isn't this amazing!" We sounded exactly alike. I continued to grow taller and wider. 

Doug was shrinking before my eyes. He had lost 4 inches in height in a matter of seconds. I watched as his features changed into Matt's. He slowly morphed from a blue-eyed blonde Nordic to a black-eyed black-haired Roman. I could feel my features changing as I watched Doug changing into me. Gradually the transformation ended. The rings separated and our arms dropped to our sides. Doug and I stood there staring at each other's new body. "Matt this is unbelievable! You've got my body! Wow, I sound just like you" "Like I've been trying to tell you... I wasn't Matt, I was David. Now do you believe me?" "Yeah, I guess I have to now, since I'm standing here in Matt's body. I've got to see what I look like naked." Doug ripped off his clothes and began to pose in front of the mirror. "David what's going on?" "What do you mean?" "Look at my dick. It's only 5-inches long. When you had Matt's body it was 9-inches. What happened?"Kevin locked the office door. "I thought we might want to have some privacy, David." Matt was nervous and excited at the same time. "Sure Kevin. Uh, what did you have in mind?" Kevin smiled, grabbed Matt and pulled him tight against his body. Matt was getting aroused at how aggressive Kevin was. Matt slowly placed his hands on Kevin's torso. He could feel Kevin's well defined abs through the tight muscle-t. He moved his hands over his thick chiseled chest and hard biceps. He could feel how powerful and masculine Kevin was. Now he understood why David was so turned on by Matt's own body, because now he found Kevin's muscles incredibly sexy. 

Still, he kept wondering why a stud like Kevin would be attracted to a scrawny guy like David. Suddenly he felt his dick stirring in his shorts. It was getting hard. Not only was it getting hard. It was starting to get a lot longer and thicker too. Kevin looked down and saw Matt's dick growing in his shorts. "Dave, I'm glad you're enjoying this as much as I am." Matt's dick pushed it's way out of his shorts. The head of his penis was sticking out about an inch. "Oh my God, I've got a 9-inch dick again!" "It looks incredible, and so do you." Kevin passionately kissed Matt. Matt was surprised how wonderful it felt having his lips pressed against Kevin's. He loved the feeling of Kevin's goatee as it rubbed against his face. Kevin plunged his tongue into Matt's mouth. Matt felt like he was melting into Kevin. It was like they were becoming one with each other. He grabbed Kevin's firm round ass and squeezed it tightly, and slowly moved his hands up to Kevin's muscular back, then over his hard, massive shoulders. Matt's dick was hard as a rock. He suddenly pulled away from Kevin. Kevin looked puzzled. "What's wrong David?" "I'm not sure. I've never had these feelings for a man before. I can't help but wonder why you're even attracted to a guy like me?" "That's simple. You're the sweetest, nicest, most caring guy I know. I'd be crazy not to be in love with you." "In love? You're in love with David? Um, I mean me." Kevin smiled. "David, sometimes you are so slow." Kevin leaned over and kissed Matt tenderly on the lips."Doug I think I know what happened. When we switched bodies, my 9-inch dick must have returned to my old body." "Oh, I guess that makes sense. 

That wasn't part of Matt's body, so it wouldn't transfer with him." "I'm sure Matt must have been pleasantly surprised.", I said. "Well David, even with a 5-inch cock, Matt's body is incredible. I've fantasized about being intimate with Matt hundreds of times. Now I'm actually him! This is so unreal." Doug was looking in the mirror, feeling the contours of his face. "I know. I couldn't believe it when Matt and I switched bodies. I've always dreamed of having a body like that. I'm not really looking forward to giving it back." "Who says you have to give it back right away?" "Eventually I'll have to trade back. It's not fair to Matt. That is his body after all." "I guess your right, David." "Earlier today I used the rings to shrink Matt into a 120 lb. weakling, while I grew into a 6-foot-3, 270 lbs monster. Having that kind of power turned me into someone that I didn't like very much." "Well, what are going to do?" "I'm going to go over to Ripples and switch bodies with Matt. Will you come with me?" "Sure. But do we have to leave right this second? Why don't we get in the shower and have some fun?" "Sounds terrific, Doug." "First, I want to switch back into my own body. I don't think I can make love to my own body. That's just too weird." "My thoughts exactly. Besides, I'm looking forward to sticking Matt's dick up your ass." I gave Doug a wicked smile. Doug laughed... "Oooh, you're such a charmer David." I snapped the rings back together. I few minutes later Doug was back in his body, and I was Matt again. We kissed each other and headed for the showers. We spent the next 2 hours making love as the warm water cascaded over our muscular bodies. It was the most beautiful experience both of us had ever had. We finally left the showers, walked over to the lockers and toweled each other off. We stared at each other for a moment, knowing that we would never see each other like this again. We embraced in a kiss. 

Then we smiled at each other and headed out the door."David, how about going back to my place?", Kevin said. Matt didn't know what to do. He had never felt such a strong attraction to anyone, let alone a man. The thought of being intimate with Kevin was very exciting. Then he thought about Kevin feelings. He was in love with David. Not someone else inside of David's body. He knew if there were any chance of having an honest relationship, he would have to tell Kevin the truth somehow. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it. "Kevin, I'd love to go back to your place. But, I have something I need to tell you first." "Let me guess, it's another man?" "No, not exactly. Actually, I'm another man." "What do you mean? You've got multiple personalities?" "I know you're not going to believe me, but this morning I was Matt Johnson, a personal trainer at World Gym. I had a huge muscular body, just like you." Kevin just stared at Matt with a blank look on his face. Matt continued, "David and I found these rings in our lockers. We put them on and snapped them together. A few minutes later I was in David's body, and he had my body. Mr. Asito, the guy that gave us the rings, told me that I needed to look within myself before I could return to my body. I think I've done that. I discovered that I had kept my real feelings buried deep inside and I was taking it out on everybody else by being a pompous homophobic bully." "Wow David, that's quite an imagination you've got there. That would make a really cool episode of the X-Files. But if you don't want to go back to my place, just say so. I'll understand." Matt was getting frustrated. He had to think of some way to convince Kevin.Doug and I arrived at Ripples. We walked in and found Brian sitting at the bar by himself. Matt wasn't there. "Brian where is Matt?", I said. "Hey, David! Um, I mean Matt.", Brian smiled. "Never mind that. What happened to Matt?" 

"Oh, he's having a very private meeting with Kevin. I wouldn't disturb them if I were you." "Don't worry. He'll be glad to see me. Come on Doug, let's go." We headed upstairs."Kevin, I do want to go back to your place. It's just that I wanted you to know that you wouldn't be with the person you thought you were with." Kevin looked really confused. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I find it really cute that you're trying so hard to convince me that you're not David." "Did I ever show an interest in being with you before?" "We'll not really. You said I was very attractive, but that you had this major crush on a guy named Doug." "That's the other personal trainer at the gym! David knew that Doug wanted to be with me, I mean Matt. That's why he wanted to be me. David was in love with Doug, and the only way he could have a chance with him was to become Matt. Then it really happened. We swapped bodies. While I was David, I realized that I was a gay man pretending to be this macho straight guy. Then I saw you standing there behind the bar, and I suddenly knew that I wanted to be with you." Kevin had a worried look on his face. "David, I think you actually believe your own wild story. I'm starting to get concerned. Maybe you need some sort of medication or therapy." "I swear Kevin, I'm telling you the truth!"I knocked on the door. Kevin said, "Come on in." 

Doug and I walked in. "Hi Matt. Hi Kevin. Sorry to bother you two.", I said. "Who are you?", Kevin asked, "...and why did you call David, Matt?" "Well, that's sort of hard to explain." "Don't tell me, let me guess, you're David, right?" "How did you know? Did Matt tell you?" "Ok, a joke's a joke, but this is really sick. I'm getting out of here." Kevin headed for the door. Doug blocked his path. "He's telling the truth. I think you ought to hear him out. In fact, David came here to tell Matt something important." Kevin stopped and turned around. "Fine, I can't wait to hear this." I walked over to Matt. "I've decided to swap bodies with you, permanently. Having this kind of power over someone is too destructive. I don't like the person I've become." "Really David? That's funny... ever since I became you, I got to know the real me inside. I discovered that I'm also gay, and that I was so afraid that I was taking it out on you and your friends. I'm truly sorry for being so abusive and for trying to hurt you earlier today." I could see that Matt was sincere in his apology. "I forgive you Matt. Now let's get back in our own bodies." I instructed Doug and Kevin to stand back. I could tell by the look on Kevin's face that he didn't believe any of this. I gave Matt the other ring. He slipped it on his finger. "Ok Matt, here goes." We snapped the rings back together. "Matt you go first", I said. Matt stared down at the rings, "I want to become Matt again." I focused my thoughts on the rings, "I want to become David again." Rings began to glow. The room lights began to dim. A cool breeze started to envelop us. Kevin looked frightened and started to back up towards the door. Doug grabbed him and told him it would be ok. The glow of energy covered our bodies one more time. I could see a change happening under Matt's clothing. His chest was expanding. His arms started to fill out with muscle. His waist was tightening. I could see his abs forming. I felt myself growing taller, becoming weaker. I saw my arms deflating. Kevin couldn't believe his eyes. He realized that Matt was telling the truth. Matt's legs swelled with muscle. He burst out of his shirt. It fell to the floor in tattered rags. His chiseled chest glistened from the sweat trickling down his v-shaped torso. His shoulders continued to widen as his lats filled in. 

A few minutes later the transformation ended. We stood facing each other in our old bodies.Kevin walked over to Matt. "That was incredible. If I hadn't been here I never would have believed it. You were telling me the truth. You really are Matt... and if you don't mind me saying so, you are gorgeous." "Thanks Kevin. I was hoping that some day I'd be able to kiss you in this body. That day is today." Matt reached over and passionately kissed Kevin. Kevin reciprocated by grabbing Matt in a tight embrace. "Why don't we head back to my place and you can tell me the entire story. Then afterwards, who knows?" "Sure thing Kevin. See you later guys." Matt and Kevin heading out the door."Well Doug, I guess I'd better head back to the gym and return the rings to Mr. Asito." "I'll go with you David." On the way back to the gym, Doug and I started to talk. "David, I much as wish you were still in Matt's body, I think you made the right decision by switching back with him. You were living in a fantasy world, even though it was a wonderful fantasy, it was just that... a fantasy." "I know. I'm really going to miss having those awesome muscles and that handsome face." "David, you're handsome in your own way. You're a really sweet, caring guy. Don't forget that." I grabbed Doug's hand. "I won't Doug. Thanks."We arrived at the gym and walked into the locker room. There sweeping up the floor was Mr. Asito. "Hi Doug. Hi David. I see you've returned to your body. Very interesting." "I didn't like the person I had become when I had the power of the rings, so I came back here to return them to you." I handed Mr. Asito the rings. "Very impressive David. That kind of power can corrupt the most noble of people. It is a wise man that makes the difficult choice that will benefit him down the road of life." "Thank you, Mr. Asito." "Please, call me Daniel." "Ok, Daniel. I just wanted to thank you for giving me the opportunity to live out a terrific fantasy." "It was my pleasure David. But this fantasy is not over quite yet." "What do you mean?" "To reward you for your truly unselfish act, I want you to put the rings together one last time." Mr. Asito placed one ring on each of my hands. He turned me to face the full length mirror. "Now David, join the rings." I looked over at Doug for his opinion. 

Doug smiled and shook his head. I looked down and snapped the rings together. Mr. Asito held his hands over the rings and spoke a lengthy incantation. His hands started to glow with a bluish-white aura. A bolt of energy went from his hands into the rings. The rings began to ebb and flow with the blue and white glow. Slowly the glow made it's way up my arms, over my shoulders, up to my neck. It gradually covered my face. I looked in the mirror and saw it move down my torso until it enveloped my entire body. The lights flickered then went completely out. The only light in the room was emanating from my body. I could feel a cool breeze swirling around me. Mr. Asito spoke, "Now it shall begin."I looked in the mirror and saw my body start to change. All of the fat around my waist slowing began to disappear. In about 30 seconds, I was totally lean. There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on my body. I looked like the volleyball players I had always admired at the beach. I thought it was nice that Mr. Asito had given me the gift of a lean fit body. I took off my shirt and waited for the glow to subside, but it didn't. 

The glowing started to get even brighter. My waist began to narrow and tighten. I could see my oblique muscles developing on my sides. My stomach started to flatten. I rubbed my stomach with my hand and felt a six-pack of abs forming right under my skin. I watched as they slowly grew out from my tightening torso. My abs were now hard as a rock. "Doug, look what's happening to me! Look at my abs!" "I know David. It's incredible!" My rib cage was expanding. My chest started to grow outward and down. I could feel the muscle forming, getting thicker. It felt like I had two slabs of stone attached to my body. In a matter of seconds, I had a massive chiseled chest hanging over my ripped abs. Then my arms started to move away from my sides. My lats were growing at an accelerated rate. My arms were hanging at least a foot away from my waist. My shoulders started to burn. I looked to my right and saw my shoulder swelling with muscle. Then my 13-inch arms expanded to a solid 19-inches. My forearms thickened. 

I looked down and watched my legs as they continued to grow. My quads and hamstrings blossomed out. Becoming full and thick. The huge muscles looked like they were carved into my leg. When I flexed my thigh I could see all of the muscle groups separate. My calves suddenly ballooned to 3-times their size. "It is not over, look in the mirror, David." Mr. Asito requested. I looked up and saw my face changing. My jaw-line was becoming more angular. My chin was more square. My nose was narrowing, becoming straighter. My cheekbones were moving up my face. My lips were becoming more sensual, fuller. My eye color changed from a brownish grey to a crystal clear sky blue. My eyebrows filled in, looking thicker and making my eyes look even more sexy. When I smiled I saw 32 perfect teeth smiling back at me. Then as quickly as it began, it had ended. The breeze died down. The lights gradually came back on. The glow encompassing my body vanished. "The transformation has finished.", Mr. Asito has proclaimed. I stared at my image in the mirror. I was even a more spectacular specimen that Matt. I couldn't believe it was actually me. Then I wondered, "Daniel who have I become? I didn't have the ring connected to anyone else.", I said in a much deeper voice. "This is the real you, David. Standing before you is what you would have become if only the best parts of you had been able to develop. 

The rings filtered out the worst parts of your genetic code, leaving you with what you see before you." "I think I understand." Doug walked over. "David, you look amazing! You're even larger than me!" "I know. This is unbelievable." "I think the two of you have a lot to discuss." Mr. Asito winked and smiled. I handed Mr. Asito the rings and gave him a big bear hug. I turned to Doug, "You know I love you, Doug. Do you think you can learn to love the new me?" "There's only one way to find out." Doug put his hands on my face and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips. "I think I might be able to used to the new you!" Doug had a big smile on his face. We both laughed. Then we put our arms around each other's waist and headed out the door together. Doug and I had a feeling this was the beginning of something wonderful.

-- The End --

[artificialqueens]

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 5 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

Chapter Summary: Just when Adore’s tired of being tired, someone new shows up. But why wasn’t Courtney informed?

Chapter 5: Shape of You

Adore shoved a couple of chips into her mouth, nose wrinkled in disgust, watching the obvious way Roy was flirting with Courtney, and the shameless way she was lapping up the attention. It had started with him teasing her, and currently had devolved into him attempting to tickle her on the grassy hillside where the group ate their lunch, as Courtney shrieked and giggled and pretended to want him to stop.

It had been a strange summer. After the bombshell news about Courtney’s parents dropped, Adore had decided not to reveal anything to her best friend about her sexuality yet. She tried to be a rock, a shoulder to cry on. She made a serious effort to spend time with Courtney all summer - even begging Bonnie to take Courtney along with them when they visited her cousins in Arizona, and making sure that no more than a few hours went by without a text.

Sometimes, she felt like she was leading a double life. Because while all that was going on, at the same time, she was taking every possible opportunity to sneak off with Violet. They had long since passed the days of mere make-outs in the tree house, and graduated to more adult forms of sexual experimentation. Violet was desperately in love with Fame, another girl in their class (although she tried to act cool about it), and it helped Adore to know that neither one of them was going to have their feelings crushed - at least, not by each other.

As Courtney had become fond of saying - romance and love and relationships were utter bullshit. The only thing in life that could truly be counted on were your friends.

And even that, Adore realized, was not guaranteed, as she watched her best friend act like a total fucking braindead idiot with a boy who had been annoying them since elementary school.

“Royyyyy, stoooop!” Courtney whined, giggling and simpering at him.

Adore stood up, the remnants of her lunch in her hands. “You know, when you want someone to stop touching you, giggling and batting your eyelashes is kind of a mixed message,” she said, then turned and flounced away.

Courtney jumped up and hurried after her. “Dory, wait up!”

Roy sighed slightly, whining to no one in particular, “Goddammit. Adore totally just fucked up my game.”

Jamin and Bob both laughed.

“What game?” Jamin asked.

“Yeah bro, you got no game,” Bob added.

“I have game!” Roy defended.

Alyssa and Darienne exchanged a look.

“Sorry, how long have you liked Courtney?” asked Darienne.

“Yeah, and you’re still just friends?” added Alyssa, with a judgmental pop of her tongue. “Maybe she’s trying to tell you something.”

The pretty brunette gave Roy a playful shove, fluttering her lashes.

“I’m taking it slow.”

“You’ve known her since you were like 3. That’s reeeeeeal slow, man,” Thorgy laughed.

“No fuckin’ game,” Bob proclaimed.

-

“Courtney!” Roy hurried up to Courtney at her locker, trying to catch her between the lunch bell and fifth period.

“Hey.” Courtney turned around, shutting her locker and flashing him a lopsided grin.

“Um...so...have you seen that new Exorcist movie yet?”

“Nope...have you?”

“No, but, uh...I heard it’s good. I was gonna try to see it this weekend.”

“Cool...” Courtney smiled, giving him a glimmer of hope.

“Are you free Friday? Do you want to maybe come with me?” Roy asked tentatively.

“Sure,” she agreed, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “Who else is coming?”

“Oh. Um…” Roy shifted slightly. “I kind of thought it would just be the two of us.” He watched her face carefully as recognition dawned in her eyes.

“Oh…” she said softly, biting her lip nervously.

Roy cleared his throat and quickly backtracked, “You know, as friends.” He gave her a shaky smile, flashing his dimples.

“Right! Of course!” Courtney beamed up at him, eyes bright, radiant smile melting his heart. “So...I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Relief and shame coursed through him. You fucking pussy, he told himself.

Courtney bit her lip again, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder and bouncing away down the hall. Bob, leaning on his locker nearby, gave Roy a knowing smirk.

Roy shook his head as Bob came sauntering towards him. “Don’t even start.”

Bob laughed. “Noooo fuckin’ game.”

“Fuck off,” Roy snapped, punching Bob on the shoulder.

-

COURTNEY: What do I wear? I don’t want to give him the wrong idea...

COURTNEY: But I still want to look cute.

COURTNEY: Do you think it’s really a just friends thing or is he full of shit?

ADORE: He’s full of shit

COURTNEY: LOL

COURTNEY: Well...

COURTNEY: If this is a date, what do I DO?

COURTNEY: Do I let him kiss me?

COURTNEY: I don’t know if I even like him like that...

COURTNEY: DORY HELP

-

ADORE: Come over. I’m bored.

VIOLET: Sorry pumpkin. It’s my brother’s birthday. We’re classing it up at the Outback Steakhouse tonight.

ADORE: Fuck.

VIOLET: What would you do if I was there??

VIOLET: …

VIOLET: Tell me where you’d touch me...

ADORE: I’m not in the mood for this.

VIOLET: You’re no fun at all.

ADORE: Yeah, well. Life is no fun.

VIOLET: Emo cunt

ADORE: Fuck off

VIOLET: Ohhhhhh...tonight’s your boo’s big date, huh?

ADORE: Goodnight, Violet

-

COURTNEY: DUDE

COURTNEY: He’s wearing so much cologne

COURTNEY: OMG I think this is a date

COURTNEY: WTF do I do?

COURTNEY: Adore???

COURTNEY: OK he’s being really nice and he keeps giving me those puppy eyes

COURTNEY: I feel kind of bad

COURTNEY: I really wish you were here

COURTNEY: Lol I just said “supposably” on purpose and he didn’t even correct me (I mean he clenched his teeth but he didn’t say anything)

COURTNEY: Lol he’s trying so hard

COURTNEY: It’s really pretty cute...

COURTNEY: DORY ARE YOU ALIVE???

“Ugh!” Adore hurled her phone out the window, into the grass. She curled into a ball and squeezed her eyes shut. And then she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, hands were shaking her awake.

She opened her eyes to see Courtney leaning over her in a relatively modest (for her) outfit, consisting of a sweater, colorful leggings, mini-skirt, and ugg boots.

“Why are you ignoring me?” she pouted, hands on her hips.

Adore groaned. “I fell asleep. How was your date?”

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Yeah, yeah. So did you kiss him or what?”

“Nope.” Courtney flopped down next to Adore on the bean bag, resting a head on her shoulder.

Adore sighed. “You will.”

Courtney laughed. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

-

Adore had seen the moving truck in the driveway yesterday, on her way back from Violet's. To her disappointment, she didn't see anyone, but like everyone else on the street, she was curious as to who was moving into their neighborhood. Adore and her mother even made a bet a couple of weeks ago, when Bonnie announced that the house had been sold. Adore was sure that their new neighbors were going to be a fresh young couple with small kids (also hoping she could get a babysitting job), and Bonnie was convinced that it was an older couple that she had seen looking at the house not long after Bendela’s family moved out.

“I just want you to casually walk by and see what you can peek,” Bonnie said from her place by the stove scrambling eggs, “But don't be creepy, okay?”

“What? I'm not creepy,” Adore leaned on the table, slightly offended.

“Yeah, sometimes you are. You got them big ol’ eyes and sometimes you just stare at people,” Bonnie turned to look at Adore, who was frowning. “Now, don’t get upset, I'm just saying that when you get nervous or shy you tend to just stare. And though it can be endearing, it’s also…a little bit creepy. Like the other day at the grocery store,” Bonnie continued to elaborate.

“What?” Adores voice went up a couple of octaves, “I didn't do anything at the store!”

“Oh, I know you didn't. You just gawked at the cashier as she flirted with you. I was so embarrassed. ‘My child is so awkward,’ I thought,” Bonnie sighed dramatically.

Since Adrian went to college a couple of months ago, the pair had become closer than Adore ever imagined. Being the last one in the house made Bonnie clingier than ever. Everywhere they went, her mother continuously pointed out pretty girls, trying to figure out Adore's type, even though Adore insisted she didn't have a type. Bonnie also let Adore have a glass of wine with her in the evenings, while they watched movies or ate dinner.

“That's totally different, she was gorgeous,” Adore exclaimed standing up from the table and grabbing two plates out of the cabinet.

“Okay, and? So are you,” Bonnie turned off the stove, scooping the eggs onto both plates.

“I was caught off-guard.”

“How? She was checking you out before we even got to the register.”

“I… I just didn't realize she was actually flirting with me until,” Adore tried to find the right excuse for her cold feet in the store the other day, “I thought she was just doing her job,” Adore shrugged, taking the waffles out of the toaster.

“Adore, you’ve got to work on your gaydar or you'll never get a girlfriend.”

-

Adore tried to be discrete as she wandered down the street to Dela’s old house. She noticed that the moving truck was no longer there, indicating that the mysterious neighbors were now settled in. Adore made sure to appear as casual as possible as she strolled past the driveway.

All of that was soon thrown out the door, when she saw the blonde crouched next to dirt bike. Stopped in her tracks, Adore stood mouth agape as she drank the girl in, because damn was she sexy.  The girl’s thick blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail with a few strays falling loose, long creamy legs were on display thanks to a pair of cut off shorts, paired with a loose white tank top and beat up combat boots. All of it making Adore’s heart go into overdrive. And when she looked up at Adore with those ice-blue eyes framed by thick liner, Adore knew she was a goner.

Adore swallowed, when the girl rose from her crouched position everything seeming to move in slow motion as she made her way towards a mesmerized Adore. She took in every part of the girl, her slim frame, her red bra shown clearly through the thin top and her face--fuck she was beautiful. She definitely wasn’t an old groggy couple, or a three-year-old in need of a babysitter.

“Sup,” the blonde nodded stopping in front of her, eyes trailing down Adore’s body. Her voice was slow, low and fucking sexy.

“Uh,” Adore giggled nervously, “Hi.”

“So, I’m guessing you live ‘round here. Came to check out the new neighbors,” the blonde said, shifting her weight to one leg, linking her thumbs in her belt loops.

“Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I live a couple of houses down. Yeah, that one right there, I don’t know if you can, like, see it. It’s the one with the tree house in the backyard,” Adore stumbled over her words pointing in the direction of her house. She couldn’t believe it, in a matter of seconds she’d been reduced to a blubbering, giggly mess.

Her heart raced as the blonde leaned in towards her to get a look at where Adore was pointing, “That one, right there?” she pointed in the same direction as Adore, her voice sending shivers down Adore’s spine.

“Yeah,” Adore swallowed, quickly looking away to try to regain her composure.

“Well, nice to meet ya, I’m Pearl,” the girl held her hand out, blue eyes boring into Adore’s.

“A-Adore,” she reached out to meet Pearl’s hand.

-

COURTNEY: Meet me at the flagpole before class starts?

ADORE: Sorry, busy

Adore stuffed her phone into her bag as she led Pearl to the office to get her schedule from the office.

“Hopefully we have some classes together, but even if we don’t I can still show you to them. I mean, like, if you want me to, ya’ know,” Adore offered. She tried to play it cool, but she knew Pearl had her wrapped around her finger and it’d only been two days.

Pearl wasn’t just a pretty face, she was hilarious--with her deadpan sense of humor, filled with random facts. And they had a lot of interests in common. And when Pearl confirmed that she was a lesbian, Adore nearly fell out of her chair. Literally.

They were in Pearl’s garage drinking soda, listening to Green Day, Adore giving her a picture of what to expect from school.

“I mean I haven’t really been hanging out with my friends as much as I use to. Kind of just been a floater lately; talking to this person and hanging out with that person. Usually my best friend, Courtney. You should meet her; she’s amazing,” Adore shrugged tilting the chair forward. She was sitting backwards on the chair, legs on either side, arm resting on top of the back as she rocked.

“Well, I mean high school is that time when people start to go their separate ways. But, now you’ve got me. I’m just hoping there’s a lot of cute girls. I mean I haven’t been let down so far,” Pearl said, taking a sip from her can.

Adore face went red at the compliment, but was more focused on getting a solid answer, “Cute girls?” she inquired, making sure to keep her tone light, as she leaned forward with the chair.

“Yeah, I’m a girl’s girl,” Pearl winked and Adore nearly lost her balance, the chair almost slipping away from her. Luckily, Pearl reached out to help steady her.

“Of course, I want you to show me around. Don’t let me get stuck with some preppy tour guide who’s way too enthusiastic and happy to be here,” Pearl gave a crooked smile.

Adore giggled, since that tour guide would likely have been Darienne or Thorgy, who certainly fit the “preppy and too enthusiastic” description.

After getting Pearl’s schedule, they happily realized that they had three out of six classes together. “I can show you to your homeroom now or later, but I don’t think it’ll matter. We only go to homeroom to pick up papers or on important test days,” Adore explained.

“We can go to class now and stop by in between classes,” Pearl suggested.

“Okay, then. Let’s go to English,” Adore said, leading Pearl to first period.

-

“Mr. Harris, this is Pearl.”

“Oh, we have a new student?” the older man looked up from his desk, “Well, why wasn’t I informed about this?” he mumbled to himself, shuffling the papers on his desk.

“Yeah, Pearl Lent,” Pearl introduced herself. “Well, take a seat, wherever you choose, and talk to me after class so we can get caught up,” he dismissed the two.

Adore led Pearl to the back, where she usually sat. They were soon joined by April and Bob.

“You must be the new girl,” Bob smiled at Pearl.

“Yep.”

“Yeah, this is Pearl. She’s fucking cool.”

“Hi, I’m April.”

"Hi there." Pearl smiled charmingly up at April.

“Mhm, it’s pretty weird having someone living in the old Emerson’s house,” Bob started.

Adore’s brows furrowed, confused because that was not Bendela’s last name.

“Yeah, it’s been empty for as long as we can remember. Right Adore?”

“What are you-”

“Yeah. You know it’s haunted,” Bob continued, leaning forward onto Pearl’s desk. “Apparently, the Emerson’s son was a murderer and they moved when suspicions started to rise. The story is that their son started off killing animals in his backyard for fun- sacrificing them. Then one day, he grew curious. Wondered what it would be like to take the life of something bigger, more significant, a person. His first victim was his four-year-old neighbor. He suffocated him, then cut up his body before burying him. Then after that he couldn't stop. He grew addicted to the power. Some say that his parents knew and were just too afraid to confront him. Others say that they didn’t believe their sweet child could do all the horrible things that he was being accused of...” Bob was so close to Pearl, his voice falling to a whisper at the end.

Adore looked at Pearl, who was staring at Bob with a look of disbelief, confused and creeped out because her parents had told her that a family had just moved out earlier that summer.

“He’s so full of shit, Pearl,” Adore shook her head.

“Adore!” Bob laughed, “You’re always ruining things.”

“It wasn’t even funny.”

“Yeah, because you didn’t give it a chance to be.”

“Bob,” Adore sighed, “You’re just not funny,” she tried to keep her tone serious.

“Adore, stop lying,” Bob shook his head, “I’m hi-lar-ious,” he said, turning to April, who was a giggling mess in her seat, “See!”

Before Adore could reply, she was interrupted by Courtney, who she hadn’t even seen come in.

“Uhm, Hi, you must be Pearl,” Courtney gave a tight smile.

“Yeah, and you are?” Pearl leaned forward, attention on the pretty green-eyed girl.

“Courtney, and this is my seat.”

Pearl frowned, but shook her head and with an ‘okay’ and started to gather her things to move, not wanting to be problematic on her first day.

She was stopped by Adore, who put her hand on her arm, “Wait,” she said, and then turned to her best friend. “Courtney, it’s her first day. I’m showing her around, let her sit here, we don’t have assigned seats. Just sit next to April,” Adore tried to convince Courtney.

Appalled and offended, Courtney’s mouth dropped opened at her best friend’s words. “What?” she scoffed.

“Court, come on. Don’t be like that, just let her sit here,” Adore said, pouting at the end.

“I can move. It’s not a big deal, Adore,” Pearl said moving to gather her stuff again.

“No,” Adore whined before looking back to Courtney.

“Adore, she just said it’s no big deal and I’ve been sitting next to you since the first day of class. That’s not fair,” Courtney was now annoyed, not at Pearl, but Adore’s audacity to let someone that she just met take her seat, then try to convince her to sit somewhere else.

“Okay, okay. You’re right,” Adore finally agreed, “Pearl let’s sit over there, there's two open seats.”

As Adore and Pearl moved, Courtney scrunched up her face, sitting down with a huff.

-

Adore was over the moon to have Pearl in her classes. Introducing the beautiful girl to everyone, giddy when Pearl turned to look at her for reassurance or to make a face. Maybe, it was because Pearl was new and different. Adore had been surrounded by the same people most of her life and Pearl’s presence was such a breath of fresh air, Adore could barely contain her excitement.  

“You don’t have to buy a locker if you don’t want. You can share with me?” Adore offered as they left Pearl’s homeroom teacher who had given her a bunch of papers that she would need.

“Really?”

“Yeah, no reason for you to pay five dollars for a locker, when I have plenty room in mine.”

“Wow, I guess I need to start thinking of a way to pay you back,” Pearl winked and Adore blushed when their hands lightly brushed together.

As the pair made their way to math, a particular short skirt caught Adore’s attention. Violet was bent over in front of her locker, going through her bag and Adore, excited to introduce Pearl, dragged the girl over to Violet.

“Hey, babe,” Adore greeted Violet, her hand lightly touching the exposed skin on Violet’s thigh to get her attention.

“Hey,” Violet stood up, turning to press a light kiss to Adore’s cheek before looking over to the blonde with narrowed eyes.

Pearl was unashamedly checking Violet out, taking in her pretty doll-like face, long black ponytail, crop top, and skirt.

“Hm, this must the infamous Pearl,” Violet said, a bored look on her face as she looked Pearl over. She had to admit that the girl was gorgeous, but Violet didn't plan to let Pearl know that.

“Infamous,” Pearl repeated in her slow drawl, “I wouldn’t use that word, but I am Pearl,” she finished with a crooked smirk.

Adore glanced between them hoping that they would get along, but from Violet’s demeanor it didn’t seem like she was planning to befriend the girl anytime soon.

“Whatever, everyone’s been talking about you. And I’ll say, I’m not impressed.”

“Oh, so, I’m guessing you’re the mean girl,” Pearl said, her tone joking.

“Sure,” Violet rolled her eyes, turning to pick up her bag and close her locker, “See you later, beautiful,” Violet said, pressing another kiss to Adore’s cheek, this time longer, making sure to leave a red print on Adore’s cheek. She pulled away, before sending Pearl a look and walking away.

Adore wiped the print from her cheek, as Pearl watched Violet walk away, her curiosity evident.

“Uh, girlfriend?” Pearl asked as she looked back to Adore.

“No, no,” Adore assured.

Pearl raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Well, she’s fucking gorgeous and she didn’t really seem to like me and that kiss was definitely a claim,” Pearl wiped the rest of Violet’s lipstick off her face as they made their way to their next class.

“Nah, we have like a friends with benefits kind of relationship, but she’s not like jealous or anything, I'm positive. She just likes to leave her mark and being difficult, that’s just her. But she’ll come around soon,” Adore nodded.

-

Gia and Laganja slid into the seats on either side of Courtney. She looked up from the math homework she was trying to finish before the bell rang. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey Court,” said Laganja. “You alright? You seem kind of...”

“Out of sorts…” Gia finished slowly, with a wry smile.

“I’m fine.”

“Hmmm.” Laganja clicked her tongue, imitating her role model, their head cheerleader, Alyssa Edwards.

“What do you think of that new girl?” Gia asked. “She’s like...really beautiful, huh?”

Courtney shrugged, “I mean, she’s pretty...I guess...”

“You guess? She’s gorgeous, and Adore seems to really like her,” Laganja pushed, observing Courtney’s reaction closely.

Courtney shifted in her seat, her mouth slightly turned down as she frowned, “She’s just showing her around because she’s new.”

Just then Adore and Pearl walked in together, Adore standing with Pearl as she introduced herself to the teacher.

“Eh, I don’t think that’s it,” Gia said, “I mean, we all know Adore, and she’s acting like Pearl’s the best thing since glitter.”

“I know Adore too, better than either of you,” Courtney snapped, ready to go on the defensive.

The knowing smirk they exchanged went over Courtney’s head as Adore and Pearl walked over to them.

“Just look at them, acting like the best of friends,” Laganja whispered right before the pair sat down. “Hey, Adore, did you finish the homework?” she asked innocently.

Courtney stayed silent as she watched Adore and Pearl.

“Yeah, I copied from Jinkx,” Adore said stiffly. It was no secret how much Adore disliked Courtney’s cheerleading friends, or as she liked to refer to Gia and Laganja, “Team Too Much.” She turned to murmur something to Pearl, who brushed Adore’s hair off of her shoulder, causing her cheeks to turn red.

Laganja looked at Courtney pointedly, one eyebrow raised. A hot jealousy started to burn in Courtney’s chest as she watched the two interact, but she refused to acknowledge it as anything more than fear of losing her best friend to a girl who had only been around for a day.

-

Courtney picked at her food, watching Adore and Pearl over by the lockers, chatting. Pearl had a hand on Adore’s arm, and Adore’s eyes sparkled as they talked, heads close together.

Bob shoved Roy slightly. “You could learn a thing or two from that new girl. Less than a week and Adore is ready to pack a suitcase full of her Indigo Girls CDs and move in with her. That’s game.”

Roy punched Bob on the arm, muttering, “Shut the fuck up!” under his breath.

Courtney frowned. “Bob, you’re such a little gossip. Why are you always starting rumors?”

“It’s not a rumor.” Bob said, confused. “She still hasn’t told you? It’s been like a year.”

Roy punched him again.

“Stop punching me, fuckface!” Bob punched him back.

“Hasn’t told me what?” Courtney asked quietly.

“Adore’s gay, Courtney. She came out to her family like, almost a year ago. Her mom told my mom last year.”

Courtney stared at Bob in stunned silence, heart pounding in her ears.

[zinecuntroll]

3 decades of Queer Women making Herstory through Music

Written for Pink Washed Zine issue #3

by Raquel Silva aka Raquel Smith-Cave

             I turned 30 this year, more precisely last August and it’s also been 12 years since I had my first girlfriend. When I started thinking about my queerness more seriously back in 2005/2006 I quickly realized how it wasn’t that usual for girls to be fascinated by Linda Perry in boxer shorts and combat boots like I was at 5 years old. My mom says 4 Non Blondes “What’s up” was my favorite song back then and she even bought the CD so I could listen to it on repeat and not just wait for the video to magically appear on the TV. Thanks Ma!

              Through my teenage years I had “Baby Can I Hold You” by Tracy Chapman constantly playing in my head. Mind you, I always have a song in my mind and I burst into singing at the most unexpected times, it’s mostly an unconscious act which can be embarrassing in front of people who don’t know me well. Honestly I  don’t care much, it’s just a part of my nature and if I’m not murmuring or humming some melody it usually means there’s something wrong. So at around 15/16 I remember starting to sing the chorus for “But you can say baby…” out of nowhere in school breaks or while walking home. This happened constantly and exactly why my brain was stuck with this melody was a complete mystery to me. Maybe I heard it in passing or on the radio…? I could never find the answer but I did buy Tracy’s self-titled vinyl this year during Record Store Day and discovered it was released exactly 30 years ago. It’s a precious record, her voice is warm and familiar and her guitar is so soothing to the soul. I think I finally answered my teenage self on all that musical haunting.

             Cássia Eller is a Brazilian artist who made the 90s a really wholesome, magical, golden time for every lesbian in love with husky voices. Her hit song “Malandragem” was part of this series called Malhação but I only found out she was the mystical singer behind that iconic childhood tune years after listening to it on the show. She tragically died in 2001 and even after that she still created major impact in society, when her longtime girlfriend won custody of their son, after battling against Cássia’s father who had never cared about his daughter until money was involved. Cássia was a shy person who became a complete lion on stage. Humble and almost too pure to handle the hype. She just wanted to sing to people and exorcise her demons while making others happy. Which she did and so much more. Her legacy is tremendous, as it still resonates with so many of us today and the world hasn’t really witnessed anyone quite as ingenious as her ever since.

               It’s 2007 and I’m watching a live concert in a Portuguese music festival on TV featuring a wild ass singer with the screaming voice of my wildest grrrl dreams. It’s The Gossip! And Beth Ditto is rolling around the stage, singing her lungs out in front of a pretty chill crowd. I wanted to BE THERE. I probably discovered Gossip’s music through CSS who I was obsessed with at the time or probably from watching The L Word. The truth is: the more intrigued I was by the words of this fat, dyke, goddess the more comfortable I felt about my own identity. I was fat for most of my childhood and got bullied for it on a regular basis, just part of being in an all-girls catholic school life I guess. At 13 someone called me “Fufa” which is basically “Dyke” in Portuguese and it was the most traumatic experience ever. Years later I wish I could have thanked the girl who bullied me out of a closet I wasn’t even aware I was in. I don’t believe I was ever in the closet though. Honestly, falling in love with a girl was just as natural as having crushes on boys. It was just another question I had finally found an answer for. Beth Ditto’s pride in her queerness and blatant attraction to butch people while being a proud femme, fat, dyke made me feel represented in a way I hadn’t seen myself before and ok with my own desires. Ditto!

                The first glance of The L Word I watched I didn’t really enjoyed. The image was dark and the plot seemed so tragic. It was Jenny somewhere in the first season. After one year I finally watched the whole 2 or 3 seasons that were out by then. Tegan and Sara play in one episode and are featured in the soundtrack, which I still go back to sometimes to remember really great tunes. What a blessing to have Tegan and Sara guide you through your first acid trip and “coming out of that closet” am I right Dana? (RIP) My love affair with Canadian people started right there with Tegan’s goofiness and Sara’s witty remarks. By 2007 “The Con” came out and became a staple to the LBGTQ+ community. So much so that the band released a special covers album last year, with many queer artists recreating those magnificent songs. In the records that followed their sound was purposefully re directed to more pop melodies which I couldn’t relate to anymore. They did make good use of their huge platform by launching the Tegan and Sara foundation, which fights for LGBTQ girls and women all over the world with the help of some amazing queer people.

                 The other tiny Canadian who owns my heart is Ellen Page. Ever since Juno, my gaydar was just screaming out loud in every direction possible and I’m so happy that she is now able to be herself freely. Just like Juno, my musical top 3 included Patti Smith and Iggy Pop… but not The Runaways. For me it’s actually Nick Cave. I never gave too much attention to The Runaways, though I knew about Joan Jett and her extremely queer badass persona from being a teenager obsessed with punk rock and riot grrrl herstory. Until Kristen Stewart got cast to play Joan for The Runaways movie and I finally listened to their 70s records. I fell in love with Kristen and Dakota’s version of “Dead End Justice” as well as the original. Gaystew was born to play that part. Just last week I saw Bad Reputation, a documentary about Joan’s life with lots of awesome people speaking about how incredible she is, as both a pioneer for women in rock’n roll and an advocate for human and animal rights. At 60 she’s still rocking the fuck out of leather pants, inspiring kids to start bands, making everyone smitten by her confidence and flipping the finger to the all the hypocritical social definitions of gender, sex and music.

                It’s really difficult to write about Janelle Monáe. Not because I don’t have words but mostly because I have too many. Janelle caught my eye and ears with “Tightrope” where she’s prancing around wearing her uniform, as she proudly used to talk about her suit, an homage to her working class parents and Kansas City upbringing. I saw her live at the end of 2010, at a winter festival, where all my other friends went on to watch Sting’s daughter I Blame Coco and I stood front row waiting for Janelle. It was life changing. She danced, jumped, screamed and even painted something into a blank canvas throughout the whole set. Her band was impeccably orchestrated and the show was extremely cinematic, since many of Janelle’s inspirations are from sci-fi movies. Her music is layered and complex just like her personality. Over the years she has been extremely mysterious, one of the things I appreciated the most about her. This year that changed. After much speculation in the media, she said in an interview she’s pansexual, as someone who has had relationships with men and women, that’s how she identifies more comfortably. Above all she’s an artist with a very specific vision and talent, carving the path for Afrofuturism; to create space for black people but especially queer POC to conquer over the systematic racism, lack of opportunities and prejudice in our society. Her new record “Dirty Computer” is the materialization of that evolution, the most “Janelle” album ever. Covering everything from sexual freedom to political issues while using a pop funky beat. Reminiscing one of her heroes, Prince, who became a friend and mentor before passing away in 2016. And all I want for 2019 is to be in the same room as Janelle and take on another voyage dans la lune with all the other androids.

                 Annie Clark has also played around with the idea of being an alien or a cyborg, especially on her self-titled album from 2014. That’s when I saw her live for the time and I had to give into my friend’s obsession with her music. Last year St. Vincent released “Masseduction”, an almost perfect record, in my opinion. The song with the same title is most definitely an anthem for our generation “I can’t turn off what turns me on…” and after a long relationship with model/actress Cara Delevingne or that summer fling with Kristen Stewart, it was clear, Annie is queer. (Pun so intended) While songs like “New York” or “Los Ageless” can be associated to both of those relationships, Annie’s talent as an exquisite guitar player, fearless innovative sounds and unique live shows, have made her the intergalactic rock Goddess of our queer dreams.

                 Widely inspired by Annie Clark is my next musical Queeroe. Mackenzie Scott aka Torres. There’s something about debut albums that I really love and Torres self-titled LP from 2013 is definitely in my top favorites list. It’s really fucking sad music with raw emotion, as you can hear in “Honey”, “Jealousy and I” or “When Winter’s over”. Her second album “Sprinter” showed a very exciting evolution in her sound but it’s “Three Futures” from 2017 that encapsulates Mackenzie’s desire towards experimenting with her sexuality in a more explicit way. As seen in the video for the first single where she takes on gender roles as both feminine and masculine characters who are living the dreadful “American Dream”. Plus the cover picture for that record is her staring at a semi naked woman on a pole, marking 2017 as very gay year for music.      

                Laura Jane Grace’s voice first made waves through my ears because of the collab Against Me! did with Tegan Quin back in 2007 for the single “Borne On The FM Waves Of The Heart”. The song didn’t stick to me that long and although I had heard Against Me! was my kind of band I never took the time to really listen to them. Until 2014, when “Transgender Dysphoria Blues” was released and it rapidly became one of the most important records of my life. I started watching many interviews with Laura Jane about the struggles of coming out as a trans woman in this fucked up world, specifically while being part of the punk scene, where there’s not much space for anything other than toxic masculinity. I related to Laura’s journey and with every single lyrics on “True trans soul rebel” since it felt like the most authentic punk anthem I had heard in a while. I went to their first ever gig in Portugal in 2015 and screamed as much as I could surrounded by my family of misfits, all wearing black and their heart tattoos on their sleeves. I dug into Against Me! discography but other than the single “I was a teenage anarchist” which I already knew, nothing got me hooked as much as “Transgender Dysphoria Blues” did. Laura Jane’s name is very much appropriate, for her Grace is felt through her screams as much as her written words, something I found fascinating while reading her auto biography: “Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout”. I loved every page of it, with original diary pieces, she takes us on a wild precious ride from her childhood and family issues to all the drama in the music industry or the tribulations of managing a band in this time and age. There’s really nothing more punk rock than being yourself and Laura Jane does it with so much effortless coolness and Grace.

            I tried not to listen to Courtney Barnett for months. I had seen the hype around her but didn’t feel quite ready to embark in that journey and my queers did I regret it… She played at Primavera Sound Porto in 2015 and I started listening to her on loop only weeks after that. The heartbreaking part is that I was also at that festival. The good part is that she came back in 2016 to another festival in Lisbon and I was there just for her (and Father John Misty). Which felt like the stars had aligned with my musical desires. She’s unapologetically herself but not in the way that you would say so about Cardi B for example. She’s wickedly smart with her words and unexpectedly brutal with her chords, right before she opens her mouth she looks like the sweetest person you will ever meet and after you are transported to her own island, full of genius puns, sarcastic inputs about daily life or the state of the world. My favorite verse is from “Pedestrian at best” and I almost got it tattooed… “Give me all your money and I’ll make some origami honey”. Which to me roughly translates to: Fuck Capitalism! She’s also very open about her long term relationship with her wife and fellow musician Jen Cloher, making them the ultimate indie rock’s queer power couple.

                 2016 was the darkest year of my life. I stopped listening to music for months, stopped sleeping and my panic attacks would strike me even if I was in the middle of a busy street. It was scary to lose myself in such dark thoughts but then one day I listened to Shura’s song “Too shy” and felt like a little bit of me was alive again. Her debut album “Nothing’s real” came out around that time and her lyrics for the title song were exactly what I felt through my depression. In this song she is writing about her own experience with a panic attack that makes you feel like dying. And they do. “Too Shy” is a beautiful tune about unrequited love because you are simply too fucking shy to ever go for it and ask your crush on a date. Being shy and anxious almost always go hand in hand, as an awkward, quiet, weird introvert myself, discovering Shura’s songs and story gave me hope and made me gather the lost pieces of my own identity, leaving all the pain, shame and constant anxiety behind. Music really is medicine for the soul.

                 Julien Baker also has one of the best debut albums I’ve ever heard. Personally, it’s very special because it marks the beginning of my current relationship, as my girlfriend surprised me with Julien’s “Sprained Ankle” vinyl just weeks after we started dating. That vinyl did not leave my record player for the last months of 2016 and whenever I listen to it now, I am instantly transported to that moment in time. I was finally getting back on my feet and everything was falling into place, Julien’s gigantic voice echoed my natural melancholy, embracing my demons with a new found strength.  I’ve seen her twice, both times a very out of body experience and had the pleasure to let her know how much her music has helped me. We hugged, talked and she even has the zine I make (CuntRoll) in her living room table because she likes it so much. She is someone I could definitely see myself hanging out in my group of friends and that’s what I love the most about this new generation of artists, who aren’t trying to be something they’re not for the sake of money or exposure. They embrace who they are and let the world decide if they wanna take it or leave it. And that’s exactly what we need right now, to accept and embrace people for who they are and the art they make. So we can all to the same in our own lives.

                 “Yeah I’ve got it I’m a man now…” are the verses that got stuck with me for weeks after listening to Christine and The Queens single “iT”. Yes, the capital T is on purpose as it represents testosterone, the hormone used by many Trans AFAB people to start the process of becoming more themselves. This androgynous handsome French creature original name is Heloise and since her worldwide success with her first record “Chaleur Humaine” she has shredded so many stereotypes through her music, her dancing and her style. I hate comparing artists but some people call her “ the French Michael Jackson” for a reason. My chin dropped while watching her cover for Beyonce’s “Sorry” which she transformed into her own song like it’s nobody’s business (please go watch it asap). This year she blessed as with her second LP just called “Chris” inviting the world to be a little bit closer to her. Chris is her nickname and presents us with a new image for Heloise, embracing her masculine vibe more than ever before, with short hair, loose clothing and talking proudly about queer issues in many interviews. The video for the single “5 dollars” is the epitome of gender fucking and the reason why I am even gayer now tbh.  (You should watch that also!) The future is genderqueer.

                 I stayed away from the hype of “Girls like Girls” back in 2015 because I’m mostly suspicious of pop artists using gay stories to go with the trend of pink washing, ie Katy Perry “I kissed a girl” is a fucking jam but also really fucking problematic, coming from a cis het white female who has no idea the struggles of being queer. Hayley Kiyoko is most definitely not one of those artists though, as she has slowly but certainly become the Lesbian Jesus we’ve all been praying for. With “Curious” she let us know there’s a new fucking boss in town and she’s so fucking gay. What a time to be alive, 20gayteen is real and we are here to witness it all. Hayley’s not the greatest singer in the world, but she uses the best of her skills to give voice to all the kids who struggled with feeling alienated because they couldn’t fit in anywhere. She creates videos which are more like short stories, where she not only acts, but also writes and directs with her own team, never compromising her vision to tell the stories she wants to tell. Stories that resonate with so many queer people and we all know how important representation is, especially coming from an authentic source. To have such a person in the mainstream is what Tegan and Sara were thriving for a few years ago but the result wasn’t very genuine, something that doesn’t happen with Hayley’s songs. Her album “Expectations” doesn’t have big hits, other than “Feelings and “Curious” but it’s the debut album of someone with a huge potential and vision to take up the space for ourselves to tell our own stories and no one else.

                Linn Da Quebrada is the musical Goddess of the moment. Eloquent, inspiring, caustic, no one is left indifferent after listening to her. And that's exactly what she wants, to leave us on our tiptoes waiting to be carried away by words of pleasure, empowerment, trans feminism and especially so much self-love. Each verse is a lyrical genius clapback in the face of this transphobic, sexist and racist society. Prejudices that kill so many queer people of color in Brazil every year. Her existence is transforming, rewriting the HERSTORY of the world and of her country, through the re-appropriation of funk, where SHE finally gets to be the protagonist of her own story and that courage surpasses linguistic or cultural barriers. In 2017 she released her first album “Pajubá” after a very successful crowdfunding campaign and also has her own documentary called “Bixa Travesty” which has gathered accolades through many film festivals around the world. The song “Bixa Preta” is a fucking iconic anthem for 20gayteen and for all of my maricones family out in the world fighting everyday for our existence to be respected.

We will NEVER be erased.

[siremyy]

episode 6 play-by-play

maashous my son i love you with my whole heart i’m proud of you

lou stop being a little twit about your show and ACCEPT HELP

simon how DARE YOU call jeremy a creep and all that and then KISS HIM BACK AKJSFHASKDG

calling it now: lou isn’t gonna make the date

ok what’s that vine where the dude’s like “i’m horny” and his ‘parents’ are like “steven.......please......” bc that’s me whenever simon talks to annabelle like he wAS STARING AT JEREMY DONT RUN FROM UR FEELINGS U FAKE BITCH

THE PIC OF GWEN IN COACH STRICKLAND’S OFFICE AWWWWW

noah fence but i rlly don’t care about robbie’s ‘hnnnng but football’ subplot

mood: lilette’s face while simon waves condoms in it

“now i just need candles and some breath mints” YOU GAY ASS GO BACK TO JEREMY

fuckin THIS BITCH IS ON MY LAST NERVE LISTEN TO LILETTE DUMBASS HER GAYDAR ISNT WRONG

why are my children aRGUING THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF HIGH SCHOOL THEATER

called it: lou’s late for the date

yes lilette you go boo boo stand up fo yoself

LOU YOU JUST STOOD UP YOUR WIFE STOP COMPLAING ABOUT YOURSELF

MAASHOUS N O YOU WORKED HARD ON THAT

ha ha cute joke modern kids don’t go to bookstores ha ha fuck off

are they planning to have sex iN THE CHURCH???????

jeremy practicing bitch of living on the chair he finds f u c k i love one (1) cute boi

gosh dang gordy is so soft about gwen that’s so cute

“ok, bye, maashous” and he RUNS after them I LOVE ONE CUTE BOI

“so, uh, th-that’s a felony” “shut up simon” M O O D

GORDY MY SON NO

ok now they’re drunk AND he’s having awkward sex in a NASTY warehouse S I M O N

i literally GASPED when gwen said you have perfect hands FRICK MAN THEYRE SO SOFT FOR EACH OTHER I LOVE THEM

ok but as soon as the show’s done he can go back to playing football?? it’s just three weeks?????

“this is hot” “like, so hot” pretty damn good clue it’s not hot, guys

“oh crap” GOOD GET OUT SIMON THIS IS SO AWKWARD

“i’m not leaving you” FUCK MAN HE LOVES HER SO MUCH AND THEY ARENT EVEN TOGETHER

ok but if simon makes annabelle cry i’m gonna travel through realms and BEAT HIS ASS she is TOO PURE FOR THIS

god gwen just wants to live a happy life i luv her

omg are gordy and robbie gonna be benchwarmer buddies bc i am HERE FOR IT

maashous and michael aka the PUREST FRIENDSHIP ON THIS SHOW

jeremy casually carrying like four chairs stacked together wtf simon if you don’t rush your ass back to that hurting boi i will

AW COAAAAAAACH

MAASHOUS I LOVE YOU

gordy i love u im proud of u

ok good ending but we have to wait another WEEK for resolution on the siremy kiss????????? angereyy

ok but THAT KISS. simon most definitely WANTED IT. like when jeremy stepped close simon was staring at him SO HARD and then when he said “do you feel this right now” simon frickin looked at his LIPS and then jeremy like paused the kiss and simon DID NOT PULL AWAY AND KISSED BACK AGAIN like,,,,,, simon we love u pls take ur time i want u to feel safe and im sad

what this list reveals: simon’s subplot is succeeding in being emotionally manipulative. i love gordy and gwen. lou is still a twit. maashous is a pure boi. jeremy deserves the world. lilette is literally the smartest character on this show.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[clefairytails]

lesbian tag game

thx for sending me this @redcladsheikah <3 all my lesbian friends should do this too, if you want uwu i’m too lazy to tag like 50 ppl hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @lebians @tiedyked @talaxian @lesbian-mcelroy @ireallylikecameras 

1: did you ever think you were straight?

not really, i knew i liked girls even as a child. but i did go through multiple periods of trying to convince myself i was straight, needless to say it didn’t work out lol.

2: what’s your favorite element of gay culture?

our sense of humor! it’s amazing that we’re all so funny despite putting up with so much bullshit.

3: are you femme, butch, or neither?

femme! i’ve been looking into femme history lately, bcs the idea that femme is just an aesthetic is a misconception c:

4: do you prefer to date femmes or butches?

tbh every time i declare i have a type i immediately fall for someone that’s the complete opposite of that, so i have no idea. lately i’ve been wanting a goth gf, but i just developed a crush on a prep soooo i’m terrible at self-reflection. this bitch don’t know what she want.

5: what’s the worst part about being a lesbian?

the feeling that there’s a part of you that needs to be fixed, but you can’t do anything about it. it’s like seeing a picture on the wall that’s crooked, but it’s stuck like that and you can’t ever straighten it. or having a hair out of place that keeps sticking up no matter how much you try to gel it down.

6: what’s the best part of being a lesbian?

is women too obvious of an answer? girls are angels and i’d die for all of them

7: how long were you questioning for?

pretty much never, i guess. i had crushes on girls since kindergarten, then in 2nd grade i was told girls could only like boys, so i tried my best to be straight even though in my heart i knew i wasn’t. since i couldn’t make myself like boys, i kinda just ignored the idea of liking anyone at all until middle school, when i found out what the word “lesbian” means online. of course, all the stuff i found about lesbians called us disgusting perverts, so i went through many phases of calling myself literally anything else but a lesbian. i’ve only started using the word lesbian specifically in the last few years, especially since i joined an amazing discord group. i love them so much, they’ve helped me feel so proud of being a lesbian <3

8: what’s the most annoying thing straight people do?

exist. 

jk lmao, i’m honestly not annoyed by straight people, but i like making jokes as if i am. it’s hard to annoy me in general, i’ve got a high tolerance for that type of stuff. if i have to answer, i hate it when strangers (usually straight men) pry into my sex life, but i’m not really annoyed by that as much as i am creeped out.

9: what do you look for in a girl?

vampirism is my only requirement.

10: if you had to marry someone you know right now, who would you choose?

@lebians bcs i feel they’d be the most able to put up with my bullshit. everyone else would kill me on sight. if only @ireallylikecameras was still single, then when we got married we could put together our 50% employee discounts at BK and get infinite food for free, ending world hunger. i think that’s how it works, but also im gay and therefore bad at math.

11: do you have a crush right now?

does being in love count as a crush? if so, then i have three.

12: do you fall in love easily?

i crush easily, and i say i’m in love easily bcs i’m a leo (meaning i need to exaggerate to live), but actually feeling love? only once.

13: is there anyone in your life right now you think you’ll date in the future?

fingers crossed.

14: is there anyone you want to be kissing right now?

at the moment i’m feeling very touch repulsed, so no. but i also go through periods of feeling touch starved, and during those times i’d kiss pretty much anyone lmao.

15: do you think you’ve met your future wife yet?

i don’t know if i want to be married. i hate making commitments.

16: top, bottom, or vers?

i suspect i’m a bottom, but i’m also a virgin with no self awareness about what she wants or likes, so who really knows.

17: is there anyone you wish you could fuck right now?

still feeling touch repulsed, so no. also i have issues with actual real life sex. i always think i want to have sex, but when the situation becomes real, i feel disgusted by it and chicken out. i have no idea if this is some sort of asexuality or internalized lesbophobia. i should probably go to therapy lol.

18: rough or gentle?

rough, in theory. like i said, virgin who doesn’t know what she likes. but as a general rule, i don’t like slowness.

19: how many stereotypes do you fit into?

i’m fat, hairy, make lots of jokes about hating men (at least online, not in real life bcs i dont wanna get stabbed), i sometimes look like a guy,

20: what version of the lesbian flag do you like most? (butch, lipstick, original, etc.)

i like the femme one! i have it as my banner, it’s the lipstick lesbian flag without the lip print. the original flag was so fucking good, too bad it got taken by the terfs. the labrys is such a powerful image, and purple is a good color. also i saw a moon lesbian flag going around, that one is so good.

21: do you have a good gaydar?

hhhh i’d like to pretend i do but tbh i’m not very observant and straight up bad at reading people.

22: be honest, would you rather be straight?

yes and no. i’d rather have been born straight, because it would’ve saved me so much pain, but it’s a few years too late for that lol. if there was a magic pill that could make me straight today, i wouldn’t take it. i’ve been through so much as a lesbian, it means something to me now and i wouldn’t trade that for anything.

23: are you cis?

yep.

24: are you a sugar mommy or a sugar baby at heart?

hardcore sugar baby. my dream job is being an older woman’s trophy wife.

25: are you committed to someone at all right now emotionally?

hhhhhhhhhh unfortunately. i don’t want to be.

26: are you looking for a serious relationship currently?

yes, but i shouldn’t be. i don’t think i’m ready to be in one.

27: is there someone you’d like to be in a serious relationship in?

yes, but she’s straight and already married lmao. whoops.

28: do you want children?

no, i’m too selfish and irresponsible.

29: is your family accepting of your sexuality?

my mom and dad are, though they don’t take it very seriously. pretty sure they expect me to grow out of it one day. can’t blame them tho, i’m waiting for the same thing lmao. my extended family is huge, and their opinions range from being extremely homophobic to being gay themselves, but i’m interacting with them less and less as i get older.

30: how confident are you in your sexuality?

very confident, though i don’t want to be. i’m still secretly hoping one day i’ll see a guy i’m attracted to and he’ll fix me, but being realistic, i’m a huge fucking lesbian. women are enchanting.

31: are you polyamorous or monogamous?

monogamous. my insecure ass could not be poly hhhhhh.

32: what advice do you have for your 12 year old self?

be more selfish. you don’t have to put yourself second for the sake of others, especially at your age. nothing you do will matter in a decade, go fucking wild.

33: have you ever been to a gay bar?

nope. i want to go one day, but i have terrible social anxiety.

34: leather jackets or flannel?

both of those are really hot, but i’m gonna go with leather jacket.

35: describe your dream girlfriend

- vampire

- big tiddy goth gf

- nice personality or smthn

- uhhhhhhhhh tiddy

(ok but srsly, i can’t answer this question bcs i NEVER know what i want!! i always thought my type was THICC for sure, but all three of the ladies i have feelings for rn are pretty skinny and flat chested)

36: do you have any lesbian friends?

at least 50 lol.

37: what elements of gay culture do you actively participate in?

air, water, sometimes earth. never fire.

38: do you find straight people irritating?

nope, but i do find straight pda uncomfortable to look at. mostly bcs it reminds me of what i'm supposed to want. but i’d never tell a straight person that, obviously. i’m not rude.

39: would you rather adopt a kid or have a biological kid?

i’ll adopt a tortoise, and feed her any children that cross my path. but if i did ever have a child, i’d want it to be biologically mine and my wife’s. mostly bcs i’d want to know what it would look like, which is a selfish and stupid reason to have kids, and exactly why i’m not gonna lmao.

40: do you love yourself?

i’m a LEO (jokes aside, i don’t know. sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. but i love myself more as time goes on. definitely more than i did than when i was a teen, at least.)

[robronsecretsanta]

Christmas AU Fanfic

to @sleepysuggles, love from your secret santa

Christmas comes around again, another year of wasting money on overpriced gift sets and stocking up on tubs of chocolates.

This year is a little extra for Aaron. This year he gets to spend it with his sister. She’s only been around for a few months, but they hit it off instantly. She’d had a rough year and Aaron wanted to make sure she had the best end to the year she could have.

She made out she wasn’t bothered, told him not to waste his money on her, told him she wouldn’t be able to get him anything back.

Aaron didn’t want anything from her though, told her as such. Told her she was the best present he could have asked for, making her cringe and Aaron wink with a laugh.

Aaron said she could choose what she wanted, which had peeked her mood.

“I want Starbucks, too,” Liv grinned.

Aaron just grabbed her into a headlock and ruffled her hair. “Whatever you want.”

He felt immense proud as he watched her smiling and running up the stairs to grab her coat.

It felt good to see her have a genuine smile on her face for the first time in all the time he had known her.

Aaron knew she wanted to enjoy Christmas again, she wanted that excitement back. She wanted family.

Aaron made a promise to himself that he would make sure she had a Christmas to remember.

~

Town was as busy as Aaron had expected it to be. He was growing tired of having to push passed people, and the queues were ridiculously long. But Liv was getting into it, she was open with what she liked and didn’t, wanted to make sure nothing was too much for Aaron, and it wasn’t.

Liv carried all the bags, Aaron laughing at her groaning because Aaron said he was paying, therefore he would be staying hands free.

“Lets go for that Starbucks,” Aaron nodded over the street the coffee shop.

Liv seemed relieved, she really didn’t fancy carrying these bags for much longer.

~

They order two fudge hot chocolates and luckily find themselves a table to sit at.

Aaron watches Liv as she blows into the hot liquid in her mug, a smile creeping onto his face.

She looks up at him through her lashes, “don’t be weird.”

Aaron just laughs, “don’t know what you are on about.”

Liv raises a eyebrow, “you keep staring at me.” She takes a sip of her drink, “it’s freaking me out.”

Aaron just shrugs, unapologetically. “It’s just nice to see you happy.”

She smiles slightly, an awkward flush of red growing on her cheeks. “Thanks,” she chews the inside of her cheek. “For all this. For everything.”

“You’re my baby sister,” Aaron’s leans into her. “I’d do anything for you ya muppet.”

Liv’s smile is broad and and it’s infectious, makes Aaron smile just as wide.

“Can I get you guys anything else?” The guy from behind the counter comes up to them, not seeming to notice he’s interrupted a tender moment between them.

“Hm, no. We are good for now thanks.” Aaron looks up at the tall, blond guy with a friendly smile.

Aaron’s not one for... looking. But he can’t help but look now.

Aaron’s not been with anyone since Liv came into his life. It’s never bothered him that he isn’t settled with anyone yet and it still doesn’t.

Liv’s his main priority now and it’ll remain that way for the near future.

He’s still standing there though and Aaron’s still looking up at him, his hands around his mug holding on tighter as he feels something bubble up in his chest.

Aaron’s not really good at gaydars, but this guy is definitely lingering longer than is necessary.

It’s Liv who breaks the tension by clearing her throat.

The guy turns to look at her, a warm smile lifting. “No problem, if you need me I’ll be just-“ the guy points to behind the counter.

Aaron’s surprised by how shy he seems, his body language comes across differently. The way he eyed him up left nothing to be desired.

“Thanks,” Aaron can’t help but watch him as he walks away.

Liv’s smirking a ridiculous amount and Aaron scrunches his napkin up and throws it at her. “Shut up,” Aaron shifts in his seat, a fuzzy feeling in his belly.

“Could he make it any more obvious that he fancied you,” Liv laughs at Aaron’s frown. “He was practically drooling.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, “he was just doing his job. No biggie.”

“Oh come on,” Liv looks over at the guy who is still finding the time to look over at them even though theres a queue building. “He’s really not playing it cool, he can’t keep his eyes off you.”

Aaron let’s himself turn to take a look, and she’s right, he’s looking over at them. The guy locks eyes with Aaron and his smile seems a lot more confident now. Like he’s got what he was looking for.

The sign that Aaron’s interested?

Not that he is. He’s not interested in him or anyone else for that matter. He lets Liv know as such. “I don’t care. Let him, doesn’t mean he’s going to get anywhere.”

“Is that why you turned into a tomato the minute you looked at each other?” Liv’s shaking her head. “You were so obvious.”

Damn.

“Come on, lets go.” Aaron can’t deny it. He can still feel eyes on him and the clothes on his back become tight on him, his skin burning up.

Liv just rolls her eyes, but doesn’t say anything else. This time Aaron takes the bags, let’s Liv go on ahead and then Aaron’s stopped in his tracks by the guy.

He has a folded piece of paper in his hand and he’s placing it into Aaron’s pocket. “Call me,” he says with hopefulness.

Aaron thinks he definitely will not be calling him. He just clears his throat and diverts his eyes away before leaving.

He doesn’t know why, but he finds himself turning to take another look. Wants him to still be watching...and he is.

The guy makes a phone sign with his hand, a more confident smile on his lips and Aaron lets himself smile back. A tease.

Aaron’s never been more fickle in his life. He knows he probably will be calling him.

~

Aaron and Liv spends Christmas with the rest of the Dingles. Liv’s settles in quickly, become part of the family without question.

They’ve had a great day, Liv spends time with Belle as Aaron finds himself stumbling outside. He’s had a few to drink and he sits down before he falls down.

It been a week since he got the guys number from the cafe. He wanted to phone sooner, but didn’t want to take anything away from Liv. He wanted to make sure his full attention was on her.

He’s still got his number in his coat and he turns the flashlight on on his phone so he can see the digits written on the paper.

‘Robert

07777466551’

Robert. He plays with the name on his tongue and finds it comes out naturally. It seems to make him more attractive to him.

He grabs his phone out of his pocket and decides to go for it. Hopes that Robert remembers who he is.

Aaron folds the piece of paper up again and presses it to his lips, begins to regret phoning him when all he gets is constant ringing.

He’s about to give up, but then Robert’s voice comes through the phone. “Hello?”

He sighs with relief before thinking of what to say. “Hey, it’s Aaron. I mean, it’s the guy from the cafe the other week... you gave me your number and-“

“Aaron,” Robert says effortlessly. Seeming to play with his name just as Aaron had done minutes earlier. “I thought you’d never call.”

“Yeah, sorry. Just- just  busy you know. With Christmas.”

“You sound drunk,” Aaron can sense the smirk on his lips. “You had a good day?”

“Yeah I have,” Aaron looks back into where the rest of his family are and he can hear them all laughing. It makes him sigh happily before focusing back on the guy on the phone. “What about you?”

“Well, it’s just improved one hundred percent by you calling me,” Robert says cheerfully. “So my gaydar was right then?”

“What?” Aaron laughs, relaxing back into the bench and finding himself wrapped up in Robert’s soft voice.

“You’re gay or-“

“Yeah, I’m gay mate.” Aaron says freely. “And you?”

“Bisexual,” Robert says back just as confidently. Aaron can hear Robert swallow, his nerves seeming to take a hold of him again. “You can say no, there’s obviously no pressure but I just wondered if you’d like to meet up for a drink?”

Aaron can’t help but bite at his bottom lip, a smile spreading across his face. “Only if you do me another fudge hot chocolate.”

Robert chuckles slightly, “it’s on me.”

There’s a comfortable silence before Aaron speaks. “Ok, so when?”

“Monday?” Robert replies, maybe a little bit too eagerly. “I mean, if you’re free.” He tries to play it cool.

Aaron just grins, “Monday sounds good.”

“Great,” Robert says as laid back as he possibly can. “I’ll see you, then. Oh and Aaron?”

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

Aaron feels a lot more drunk on just cheap lager as he wishes Robert a Merry Christmas, too.

~

He said he wasn’t interested in being with anyone and that still stands. He does want to meet up with Robert, though.

He’s still young, he’s entitled to a little fun.

But he speaks to Liv first. Doesn’t want her to think everything he’s said was a lie.

“I’m not your mum,” Liv rolled her eyes. “You can see whoever you want. As long as I don’t see any touchy feely business I don’t really care.”

“There won’t be any of that. I’m just going for a drink,” Aaron puts her mind at rest even though he knows she’s only teasing.

“Go and have some fun, Aaron. It’s about time.”

~

Aaron knew Robert was still working until 14:00, but he goes early. He hopes Robert doesn’t realise it’s because he wants to see him early or anything.

He’s allowed a coffee on his own, isn’t he?

Robert’s cleaning one of the tables and Aaron can’t help but laugh a little. He’s wearing a elf jumper with little reindeer ears on and that stupid smile of Aaron’s spreads when he’s normally thinking of him when he’s alone. But he’s not alone now, so he clears his throat to make himself known and he tries to relax his smile.

Robert looks happy to see him, a little appreciative look up and down and Robert sways into him. “You’re early.”

Aaron shrugs, “I’m allowed a drink on my own first, aren’t I?” He looks down at Robert’s jumper and Robert folds his arms across his chest, somewhat embarrassed. “I thought Christmas was over.”

Robert rolls his eyes but there’s a softness to it, “12 days of Christmas an all that.” Robert walks around to the counter, Aaron following. “There’s spare around the back if you want to join in.”

“No thanks,” they share a look and Aaron shyly looks away and up at the menu. “I’ll just have the same as last time please.”

Aaron gets his wallet out ready to pay, but Robert doesn’t allow it. Aaron’s not one for ‘being bought,’ he likes to pay his way but he seems he won’t get anywhere with Robert so he decides to let him have this one.

“I’ll bring it over to you,” Robert makes a start on his drink and Aaron sits.

He pretends to spend the rest of his waiting time on his phone. He sends Liv a quick text and then spends the rest of his time looking over at Robert through his lashes.

He’s got beautiful eyes. An ever better smile.

His hair looks good enough to run his hands through. When he bends over his thighs and arse look thick and Aaron decides then is the time to look away.

He’s practically undressing the guy and imagining all sorts.

He tells himself to control himself, but the stirring inside of him doesn’t die out even when he stops staring at him.

He’s got it bad.

~

When Robert finally finishes he’s changed into a shirt and a leather jacket and Aaron can’t believe how different he seems. There’s a cockiness about him, a swagger.

That same glow rests behind his eyes though and that same lopsided grin sits on his face whenever he sees Aaron.

He sits facing Aaron, his elbows on the table. “It’s good to see you again,” he says quietly.

“You saw me about ten minutes ago,” Aaron laughs easily, finding himself leaning in closer.

“You know what I mean,” Robert raises his eyebrows. “You got a smart mouth, I like that.”

Aaron bites his lip, Robert’s watching him and Aaron doesn’t seem to know what to say anymore.

“Lets get out of here,” Robert stands to his feet quickly.

“I thought we were having a coffee?” Aaron asked, but got to his feet.

Robert just shakes his head. “I’m sick of coffee. Come on.”

~

They go ice skating. Aaron wanting to turn away the minute they arrive at the rink but Robert’s having none of it, guessing Aaron’s shoe size and passing him a pair of skates.

“I’m shit too. Don’t worry,” Robert steps on to the ice first, turning to see Aaron not moving.

“I hate you,” Aaron says lightly making Robert laugh and come back closer to Aaron.

“Already? It normally takes people a few weeks to come to that conclusion.” Robert’s offering out his hand, “come on.”

“Was this just an excuse to hold my hand?” Aaron licks his lips and looks up at Robert, smiles forming and Aaron doesn’t wait for an answer. He bats Robert’s hand away and steps onto the ice not giving in and he holds onto the sides like his life depends on it.

Robert’s surprisingly good on the ice for a lanky guy. He glides across the ice easily.

Aaron huffs as he watches him. He’s still holding onto the sides, but he moves his legs gingerly.

Robert skates up to him and he winks. “You decided to move then.”

“I didn’t realise you were Christopher Dean.”

Aaron knows he’s only joking around, but he feels stupid. It’s meant to be a bit of fun and instead Aaron’s mood has dropped. “Sorry,” he says sighing.

“It’s fine,” Robert leans in closer. “We can do something else if you’d like?”

Aaron frowns, shakes his head. “No. Lets stay here,” he looks down at Robert’s hands. “You’re gonna have to hold my hand though.”

Robert grins and lifts his hand up for Aaron to take. Aaron takes his hand and Robert pulls him along slowly with him.

Aaron falls down a couple of times, but Robert’s right there to pick him up. And he can’t be sure, but he thinks Robert falls down a few times to make him feel better about himself.

~

Night falls and they head to the taxi rank. “Thanks for tonight, I really enjoyed it.” Aaron’s had the best night he’s head in ages despite the little tantrum he’d had at the start.

“Good,” Robert shoved his hands into his jacket to block out the cold. “We should do it again.”

“Really?” Aaron’s not sure why he feels so surprised at the the thought of Robert wanting to see him again.

Robert nods, “yeah, of course.”

A taxi pulls up and Robert opens the back door for Aaron. “I’ll call you,” Robert shuts the door once Aaron’s inside.

“You’d better,” Robert replies to himself, regretting instantly not pressing a kiss to Aaron’s lips, something he’s been craving since the second he saw him.

There’s always next time, he wouldn’t mull over it for too long.

~

It’s the morning after and Aaron’s first thought is Robert. Probably sounds ridiculous and needy, but last night he was himself. He didn’t have to worry about anything or anyone else, he was having him time and it felt good.

He said he’d phone him, but he doesn’t dare to phone him yet. He checks his phone - no messages.

Aaron doesn’t read into it. After all, Robert was the one who wanted to see him again.

He makes breakfast for himself and Liv soon follows.

Yawning, she pours herself a glass of juice. She looks around The Mill. “On your own then?” She asks over her glass.

“Yeah, I told you it wasn’t a big deal.”

“It didn’t go well then?” Liv sits down.

“I’m seeing him again actually,” Aaron replies rather smugly.

“You do like him then?” Liv smiles, loves that she is right.

“Be quiet, Olivia.” Aaron plates his food and heads upstairs to the sound of his sister making ‘eww’ noises.

He can’t help but fondly smile to himself.

~

Aaron doesn’t have to worry about coming across needy because Robert’s the one who phones him.

Aaron’s in the scrapyard, his feet up on the table and he’s glad he’s alone. He answers after it rings a few times, “alright?”

“Hey. I knew you said you’d phone but I got bored of waiting.”

So not just him, then? He grins to himself, “it’s only 10:00 o’clock.”

“Like I said, I got bored. So how does food round at mine sound tonight?”

Liv.

“Hmm, the thing is I don’t fancy leaving my sister on her own. Last night she was round at a friends, so it wasn’t too bad.”

There’s silence and Aaron thinks Robert’s going to tell him to forget it. But he’s surprised, “alright, well, she could join us? I wouldn’t want to cramp her style or anything, but I make a mean pizza if she’s up for it.”

Aaron’s speechless for a moment. Wasn’t expecting this and he quickly clears his throat. “You mean a frozen pizza, yeah?” Aaron jokes.

Robert laughs, “you got me. So what do you say?”

“I’ll speak to her,” Aaron beamed. Saying bye and getting up to wait for Liv to come back home from school.

~

“No way am I sitting through you two perving over each other,” Liv pulled a face at the idea of her joining them for food.

“It’s not like that,” Aaron rolled his eyes. “Just come along. It was nice of him to invite you. Plus you’ll get a night off from my bad cooking.”

Liv thought on it no longer, that seeming to make up her mind for her. “Fine, I’ll come.”

~

With Robert forwarding his address, Aaron arrives with Liv. Robert’s place is a small apartment, something Aaron had already expected Robert would live in.

He knocks and Robert’s opening the door before Aaron can even bring his arm back down. Robert’s greeting them with a smile that makes Aaron’s body just want to lean into him. There’s something about him that makes Aaron feel instantly safe.

Liv starts to look around the place, lifting up pictures and pulling out books from the small book shelf. “Liv, stop it.” Aaron pulls a ‘what the hell are you doing’ face.

“Just trying to figure out what kind of bloke my brother is dating,” Liv shrugs, a playful smile on her face.

Robert just laughs, handing Aaron over a beer and Liv juice.

“We aren’t dating,” Aaron puffs out his cheeks. “Stop showing me up, you are worse than my mum.”

“It’s alright,” Robert sits next to Aaron on the sofa. “Nice to know you’ve got someone who cares about you.”

“Someone who likes to interfere more like.”

Liv holds her hands up. “Fine, I’ll stop.” She looks at Robert. “You’d best not hurt him though, he proper likes you.”

Aaron’s eyes widen in horror, but Robert just looks at him with a warming smile. “Good. Cause I proper like him, too.”

~

They have food and dessert together. Every now and again Robert’s foot coming over to touch Aaron’s ankle and it’s near enough impossible for Aaron not to react.

Liv gets a notification through on her phone, something about Dan and Phil uploading a video and she wanders off back into the living area to watch, leaving Aaron and Robert alone.

“I’ll come and help you with the dishes,” Aaron follows Robert into the kitchen.

It comes out of nowhere, Robert’s arms come up around Aaron’s waist and he’s been spun around up against the counter.

Aaron struggles to catch his breath for a second, his hands coming up to Robert’s chest to steady him.

“Did Liv mean what she said?” Aaron frowns a little, “about you liking me?” Robert clarifies.

Aaron let’s his fingers bend against Robert’s chest, a light stroke and Robert’s mouth slacks open a little at the action. “What do you think?” Aaron looks up through his lashes, a giddiness to his heart as Robert pulls at his waist to feel him closer.

“I think I want to kiss you now,” Robert’s breath ghosts over Aaron’s face and he nods. He wants that, too.

“What are you waiting for?”

That stupid smirk of Robert’s makes an appearance before leaning in and closing the gap between them.

They don’t rush, they breathe each other in, pull at each other. Robert’s tongue maps over Aaron’s, a moan escaping him and Robert loses it. His hands come up to his neck, he tilts his head and takes all he can from Aaron.

They could have stayed like that forever if it wasn’t for Liv coming in and telling them to get a room.

Robert secretly winked at Aaron. He would definitely be getting them a room.

~

A year later and Christmas is different again. This year it’s spent with Liv and Robert.

It wasn’t long before Robert was coming round every weekend and then every weekend turned into every other night and that turned into Aaron clearing out draws for some of Robert’s stuff.

Then Robert was moving in officially. He gave up his whole life to start a new one with Aaron. It was kind of surreal, Aaron’s insecurities coming to a head a few times. Was it too soon? Would it ruin his new formed relationship with Liv?

He had no need to worry. Robert and Liv had hit it off well. Robert helped Liv with her homework, would sit up late with her when she couldn’t sleep for whatever reason. He would cook for them, Robert was like a god send to Liv.

Christmas Day was here, Robert waking up in the mistletoe boxers that Aaron had bought him early for a laugh and Aaron had ended up being mortified when Robert had said he actually liked them.

They had spent the day together, just the three of them. Stuffed up on turkey and the rest. They’d watched Elf and Home Alone before Liv headed off to see Gabby.

Alone, Robert was tipsy and a ever so in love. He wanted to tell Aaron. Didn’t want to wait any longer, he’d known for so long that Aaron was the one for him.

Aaron caught him watching him and kicked at his leg, “want a photo?”

“Nah, the real thing is better,” Robert replies playfully.

Even now, Robert had it in him to make Aaron blush. Robert loved every second of it.

Getting to his feet, Robert pulled Aaron up and pressed himself up against Aaron. “Thanks for today.”

Aaron shrugged with a downwards smile, “didn’t do anything.”

“You made it perfect,” Robert lays a chaste kiss to his lips.

Aaron hides his face into the crook of Robert’s neck, “you’re so cheesy sometimes.”

Robert smiles against his hair and rubs a hand up and down his back, “hows this for cheesy,” Robert lifts Aaron’s head up with a finger under his chin and just looks at him for ages before lowering his forehead to Aaron’s. “I’m in love with you.”

Aaron’s speechless, a warm was circulates his body and he can’t help but flash a massive grin up at Robert. His pulse quickens as he pulls Robert into a deep kiss. “I’m in love with you, too.” Aaron sighs gently against Robert’s lips.

It’s the best Christmas present either of them could have wished for.

[mars-ipan]

ok real quick? i never understood why people are exclusionists. why are you against neopronouns, aspec people, trans folks in general, bi/pan/poly/omni people, etc.? so what if it “proves homophobes right?” they’re gonna commit hate crimes regardless of what we do unless we crack down on it. whatever we do isn’t gonna have an effect on them. why do you care about the pronouns another person uses, particularly neopronouns? yeah they can be tough to learn, i understand, but if you need help you can just look up websites to practice or better yet, ask the person using those pronouns and they’ll gladly help??

why are people deciding if other people are “trans enough?” your being trans isn’t my business, and their being trans isn’t yours, either. and yes, some people transition and regret it. but that doesn’t mean being trans needs these big rules, it just means we need to stop encouraging immediate transition but instead encourage healthy gender exploration. like, i wondered if i was a demigirl due to the slight disconnect i feel from gender as a whole. you know what i did? i researched, and tried she/they pronouns. and while i learned that no, i am definitely a female and nothing more, i also learned a lot about being nonbinary, which helped me be a better ally. why? because i was around people who taught me how to healthily experiment. let’s do that? please? also like. don’t misgender people even if you doubt their transness. if you misgender someone intentionally fuck you. nothing else to be said about it. don’t do things terfs do, guys. you’re not protecting trans folk, you’re harming your own people.

why do people think aspec people are bad?? what did they do???? they’re just vibing who gives a shit if they don’t need sex or romance, or if they have to know someone well to want it. as a pan person and also a romantic person, good on them! that shit is tiring and confusing and if they don’t need it then cool! they have extra time to spend not worrying about it, and from what i’ve seen a lot of them spend that time cooking. that’s great! leave aspec people alone they’re literally just making food. you sound like you got rejected and just never stopped being salty. that puts you on par with a cishet dude who hates lesbians because one he’s attracted to won’t make an exception for him. shut the fuck up. oh and aspec people aren’t prudes. they just don’t feel attraction. this isn’t to say aspec people can’t have a high sex drive! attraction (or lack thereof) and horny do not have to be the same that’s not how things work. oh and stop saying they’re inhuman or broken or some shit. no they’re fucking not. plenty of people who feel attraction don’t want kids, and guess what? this isn’t fucking caveman times. we don’t really need everyone to directly pass on their lineage or really want to. gay couples do these things called adoption or surrogation if they want kids. ace people can do that too. wow. who knew. stop being an asshole and Let Aspecs Vibe.

on a similar note, bi/pan/poly/omni folk! what the hell did we do?????? we’re “hetero passing????” what even is that???? hey dumbasses everyone is hetero passing if they’re not in a relationship because we live in a world where people expect each other to be heterosexual. sometimes even people in Clear Homosexual Relationships get asked if they’re siblings or some shit. i’ve seen women post about their homo marriages and get comments like “awww besties! having your wedding on the same day as your best friend is such goals!” a lot of people have horrible gaydars (also that erases straight trans people who are btw lgbt it is in the name). we’re not gonna cheat on you or leave you. this one confuses me. how do you think we see people??? as food?? we don’t like. get sick of something and decide to switch over to something else. our whole thing is that generally we don’t really give a shit about your gender???? like it’s not really a factor? some of us have differing standards for different genders but like. overall it’s not that important?? so why do you think we’d get “tired of vagina” or “miss dick” or some shit??? that feels vaguely transphobic. why is it always about sex?? which leads me to my next question. how the hell did “you want attention/you’re a whore” become a thing???? bitch what??? say you’re a gay dude. do you want to fuck literally every man you see? “no, of course not?” huh, funny, since you seem to think that’s how attraction works. we still have fucking standards, same as almost everyone else. and even if we didn’t, then what? who gives a shit? it’s 2020 man why are we still slutshaming? some people are horny stop fucking caring. oh and also stop pitting bi/pan/poly/omni people against each other!!! what the hell!!! why is that a thing??? we should be loving each other guys!! everyone has their own definitions of labels and reasons why they use them. pan people, stop calling all bi people transphobes. they’re not. bi people, stop calling all pan people biphobic (but also bisexual at the same time??? ig they think it’s internalized?). we’re not. and let’s not erase polysexual (not to be confused with polyamourous) or omnisexual people. they’re here too and they are just as valid as us. we should be filled with solidarity and appreciation for each other, not hate and spite. there’s not a competition to be the one sole label that means “i’m interested in multiple genders,” literally just pick what you’re comfy with and respect other people. sorry this one is longer i just have more experience dealing with shit like this

in conclusion, why the fuck are our own people attacking us??? i can understand if the word “queer” is a trigger word for some seeing as it is used as a slur, so with that one we literally just let people use it if they want to and don’t force it on anyone who doesn’t want to. bam problem solved. however, why are trans people who don’t fit a perfect mold a problem? why are aspecs a problem? why are bi/poly/pan/omni people a problem? what the fuck? every group i’ve talked about has been here since day one, by the way. we aren’t new. if you’re an exclusionist i want you to please not interact with me, i’m tired and just as my points probably didn’t change your mind, your points will not change mine. dear god can we please just let people be stop giving a shit a label is something we use to feel comfortable go away

TL;DR: stop fighting each other and instead respect each other. we’re a family and we should love each other. also exclusionists don’t interact

cishets can totally reblog this btw! just don’t clown please and thank you

[skamelias]

NEVER ENDING CYCLE

4.5 Fredag 25.08.17 20.55

Elias prostrated before his prayer rug. He was supposed to meet up with the boys in a few minutes. Kneeling down, he whispered under his breath in Arabic, “God is the greatest.” With a deep exhale, he uttered, “O my Lord, forgive me.”

He had been praying more often ever since last week, feeling lighter with each prayer. Although, right now he had a hard time focusing on the prayer at hand; he was too busy thinking about Laila. He hadn’t heard from her since Tuesday when he’d seen her with some guy. Even Sana told him she hadn’t been in class the last few days, which certainly didn’t help his uneasiness. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this awful; there had never really been anything between them. But that didn’t stop his heart from aching.

Pressing his fingers to his temples in mid prayer, he tried to clear his mind and be completely present. And it worked. For a few seconds, he relished in the feeling of Sujood and the calm he experienced throughout. Once again the need for release overtook him, but the tears refused to come.

Elias finished off his prayer with a plea for forgiveness, as he said, “Our Lord. Forgive us our sins and efface our bad deeds and take our souls in the company of the righteous.”

Lastly, he prayed that Laila was okay.

As Elias picked up his prayer rug, a text appeared on his phone. As if she could read his thoughts, he looked down at the screen and saw it was from Laila. His heartbeat quickened.

Laila: Wanna hang out?

Elias: Right now?

Laila: Yeah

Laila: I’m being spontaneous :)

Elias: Haha ok let’s do it :D

Elias furrowed his brows, more confused than ever. He had so many questions. But despite that, he sure as hell wasn’t going to say no to a date with Laila. Or…whatever it was.

He quickly texted the boys that he wouldn’t be able to come and got ready.

((( Electric Love - BØRNS )))

“Look Laila! That’s you!” Elias laughed, pointing to a statue in front of him of a huge, disgruntled, and funny looking baby.

As they walked around Vigeland park, the slight breeze that rustled the leaves was an inviting contrast to the hot beams of sunlight beating down on Elias and Laila’s skin. The numerous statues around them decorated the park’s landscape. Freshly cut green grass surrounded them on all sides of the trail.

Laila, who was wearing a light red top, turned towards the statue that Elias had been pointing at and gasped mockingly. She looked around at the statues speculatively before finally turning towards a statue of a man holding up his four kids sporting a noticeably tiny male organ.

Laila turned to Elias and said, “Look Elias! That’s you!” mimicking him.

“So I’m a father? I don’t remember having 4 kids?”

“No you’re the dick.” Laila laughed.

Elias gave her a straight-faced look before shaking his head as a grin quickly surfaced on his face at her satisfied beam.

“What? You said it yourself,” Laila reminded him teasingly.

“Well at least I’m not a huge dick,” Elias retorted, furrowing his brows at the peculiar statue in front of him. The artist certainly hadn’t been very generous in regards to a certain organ. Elias turned to Laila with a chuckle and said, “No but seriously, look at it, it’s smaller than like, half of my pinky.” He turned to examine it, putting his pinky finger next to it and it was indeed the size of half his pinky.

Laila burst out laughing, clutching her chest and Elias started laughing alongside her, not caring if the people around them were looking at them weirdly.

They turned towards a statue of what looked like a bunch of kids and grownups sitting in some broccoli. Elias tilted his head in confusion and said, “I swear these statues are the weirdest shit ever.”

Laila narrowed her eyes, “It’s art.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call kids crawling inside broccoli, art.”

Laila paused. She furrowed her brows. “That’s a tree.”

Elias widened his eyes, “That’s definitely broccoli.”

“Why would a bunch of kids crawl inside broccoli?!”

“I don’t know?! The same reason they crawl in trees?” Elias said exasperatedly.

“That’s called kindergarten.” Laila retorted dryly with a deadpan expression.

Elias tilted his head in thought, thinking she probably had a point. He glanced outward at the park with a sly smirk and said, “The last one to the other end of the park loses the argument!” He hastily raced forward. Within seconds, Laila was running beside him, adamant on getting ahead of him with a glowing beam planted on her face. Elias drew a deep breath and quickened his pace. Within seconds, he neared the other end of the park, moments before she did.

Laila crossed her arms at her arrival and huffed with a teasing smile at the corner of her lips. “Whatever, it’s still a tree.”

“Broccoliii,” Elias singsonged teasingly. Laila shook her head and rolled her eyes in response, a smile on both of their lips.

Minutes later, Elias and Laila walked side by side across the park, ice cream cones in their hands. The sky had darkened overhead, gradually turning from a light blue to an orange-reddish color.

Elias turned to Laila, who was busy licking her vanilla flavoured ice cream. He frowned slightly, remembering her troubled expression from a few days ago. He wished he could just focus on the date at hand, instead of allowing these intrusive thoughts to fill his head, but he couldn’t. He wanted to ask her who the guy was, if he was her boyfriend, why she hadn’t been answering his texts? But he didn’t want to seem too desperate, so he kept quiet.

Laila turned to him, her full pink lips raised upwards into a smile. He looked down at his slightly melting chocolate ice cream cone.

“I needed…wanted to go out today.” she said as she turned away.

“Aww, so I was the first one you thought of?” Elias teased with a slight chuckle.

Laila arched a sly brow. “Who said you were?”

“Ouch.” he chuckled.

Laila looked at him pensively before beaming, “You were. The first one.”

Elias’s heart fluttered. He smirked at her and said, “I knew it.”

Laila snorted and rolled her eyes. She glanced at him before looking down at his nose and turned bug-eyed.

Elias furrowed his brows, “What?” he asked.

“You’ve got something on your nose.” She went closer to him, still staring at his nose as if he had grown another one.

“What is it?” he asked, he raised his hand, trying to wipe whatever it was from off his nose.

Without warning, Laila grabbed the ice cream cone from his grasp and smushed it into his face.

He paused with wide eyes. Laila erupted into laughter at the sight of his entire nose and mouth covered in ice cream. Elias pursed his lips and shook his head, unable to keep the grin off his face. He wiped most of it off as he turned to her, “You didn’t.”

Laila was still laughing as she raised her brows. “Oh I did.”

Elias raised his brows, eyeing the ice cream cone in her hands. Laila recognizing the mischievous gleam in his eyes, ran away from him, shrieking with laughter. As he raced after her, Laila desperately tried to keep her ice cream as far away from Elias as possible, knowing full well he’d use it as a weapon. Elias quickly outran her and started tickling her. She giggled and yelled, “Stop, stop, stop!”

Elias paused and stopped tickling her. They both tried stifling their laughter, but to no avail.  

Laila threatened to tickle him back but Elias raised his hands up in surrender. She grinned before she looked down at his lips pensively, using her thumb to wipe the leftover ice cream from his mouth.

Elias drew in a sharp breath at the feel of her fingers on his lips. He gulped. Suddenly he found it extremely difficult to breathe. Both of them shifted a fraction closer to each other, their lips mere inches away.

Laila gulped noticeably and looked down, avoiding his eyes.

Out of nowhere, something on the ground caught her eye as she said, “Look! This flower is really pretty.” She plucked it from the grass, revealing a striped flower with alternating colors of red and white. “It’s a carnation.” she explained. She shifted her eyes from the flower to Elias.

Elias raised his brows in amusement. “Are you giving me a flower?”

Laila grinned and nodded her head confidently. “Wait,” she said. She looked up at Elias and tucked the single flower behind his ear, beaming at him.

Elias laughed at the thought of how ridiculous he might be looking right now with a flower behind his ear. Still he couldn’t bring himself to remove it.

Elias and Laila sat on a rooftop, chatting animatedly while devouring the pizza between them. The sun had set a few hours ago. They’d watched the sky turn a dark blue, as a small smattering of stars lit up the night. Laila sat cross legged, a large piece of pizza in her hand. Elias chuckled as he told Laila about Yousef’s jealousy. “I swear I’ve never seen a more desperate dude than him.”

Laila laughed, “He seems like a good guy. I’ve seen him and Sana together. They seem…perfect.”

Elias nodded.

“But wait, how does Sana know that guy is gay?” she said referring to Ali.

Elias snorted and shrugged, “She said she just knows. There’s a point in your life where you just accept that she’s always right and you stop questioning her.”

Laila laughed in response. Elias watched as she finished another piece. She looked up at him, trying to stifle her laugh as she covered her mouth with her hand. “God, this is the worst food to eat on a first date,” she exclaimed.

Elias beamed. “So this is a date, huh?”

Laila cocked her head at him in amusement. She threw a small piece of pizza at him which he quickly dodged, moving out of the way. Elias laughed at her failed attempt.

“What’s that guy’s name?” Laila asked.

“Hmm?” Elias asked.

“The guy Sana thinks is gay. Maybe I know him and if he’s actually gay. You know, I have an amazing gaydar, if I do say so myself.”

“Ali.”

Laila tilted her head in thought. “That’s the name of literally every fifth Muslim guy, I’m gonna need a bit more information.”

“Tall dude, beard, pretty handsome.”

Laila furrowed her brows, “Wait…is he like…a bit shy, with hair that looks like it belongs in a shampoo commercial?”

Elias furrowed his brows, “Well, yeah.”

Laila laughed, “He definitely isn’t gay I can tell you that.”

“Well maybe we don’t have the same guy. He’s a medical student or something.”

“Medical student? Then it’s definitely not the same guy. The Ali I know studies business at uni, he’s friends with my older brother.”

Elias nodded and finished his last piece of pizza. Laila groaned, stroking her stomach as she exclaimed, “I ate way too much,” eliciting a chuckle from Elias.

((( Long Way Down - Tom Odell )))

Laila stood up from the floor of the roof and let out a deep breath. “You know what? Today has been an interesting day.”

Elias raised his brows at the abrupt change of subject. “Why?”

She looked at him with an indecipherable expression and said, “You know how people tell you that the shitty stuff in your life will pass and good stuff will happen eventually?” She paused. “Well what they don’t tell you is that the shitty stuff never really passes. Just when you find yourself on the cusp of happiness, it comes back in full force. So the real question is; should you be content knowing that you get to experience happiness after sadness or should you be depressed knowing that happiness will inevitably lead to sadness again, leaving you perpetually stuck in a never ending cycle?”

Elias raised his brows, trying to process what she’d just said. “I…I guess it depends on what you choose to focus on. Some could argue that sadness doesn’t really exist, that it’s just a lack of happiness. Just like darkness doesn’t exist; it’s a lack of light. You could spend all the time in the world dreading the day you aren’t happy anymore, and then when it hits, realize you’ve spent all of your time focusing on the future and the inevitability instead of enjoying the now.”

Laila tilted her head, deep in thought. She smiled softly at him. “You know my mom would say the exact same. She believes in an afterlife.”

“Don’t you?”

She paused, “I do but…the thought makes me kinda sad. My mom says that no matter what happens in this life, we’ll be rewarded in the afterlife.”

“Why does that make you sad?”

“Because it insinuates that what we go through doesn’t matter, because in the end, we’ll be rewarded.”

Elias tilted his head in thought, eternally stunned by Laila’s infinite intelligence. “To me that sounds like a good thing, but that’s probably because it’s so subjective.

“You’re such an optimist.” She grinned, lightening the mood.

“Well someone has to be. Especially when you’re going around being all deep and talking about the afterlife and shit. Someone needs to balance it out,” Elias scoffed, eliciting a laugh from Laila.

Elias smiled to himself as he stood up, motioning to her, “Can I walk you home?”

She nodded, “I’d love that.”

((( Atlas: Heart - Sleeping at Last )))

He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of today and tomorrow and the day after that with Laila.

They walked side by side in comfortable silence, occasionally glancing at each other out of the corner of their eyes. Every single movement of the body and facial expression spoke volumes. It was that moment, that Elias realized that talking wasn’t always communicating. Right here, right now in this moment with Laila, Elias was more content than he had ever felt in his life. The same kind of content he felt when praying.

After some time, they had reached her doorstep. Elias made a note to remember the directions. He hoped this would be one of the many more times he’d walk her to her house.

Laila stopped to turn towards him, flashing him a toothy grin. At the sight of Laila’s beyond adorable smile, Elias had one nagging thought in his head that he’d been trying to suppress ever since Tuesday. Who was that guy with Laila?

She noticed his change in demeanour and frowned, “What’s wrong?”

Elias looked down, gulping visibly, “That guy…from Tuesday. Is he your boyfriend?” He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. He knew she didn’t owe him anything. He knew he shouldn’t have asked, but the not knowing was killing him.

Laila’s face faltered. “No.”

Elias wasn’t entirely convinced, but he decided to let it go. He couldn’t convey how much it hurt him to see her upset. He didn’t want to contribute to her unhappiness by nagging her. He nodded in acknowledgement.

Laila looked up at him.

In a matter of seconds, he wound his arms around her in a tight embrace as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Elias felt the tension leave his body as he felt her let out a slow breath.

As they drew away slightly from each others’ grasp, Laila gazed down at his lips. Elias’ heart stopped. All of their near kisses had led to this moment. But they had always ended the same way; Laila always pulled away from him at the last second. He needed to be sure she wanted to kiss him. The ball was in her court.

Laila drew closer by a mere inch. He could feel her warm breath on his face.

All at once, he closed the distance between them, gently brushing his lips against hers.

It was slow and soft. Better than anything he could have imagined. As they deepened the kiss, she parted her mouth slightly. Elias’ thumb caressed her cheek, her hand rested on his chest.

When they finally pulled away from each other, Elias gazed at Laila as she looked down with a shy smile. Gradually, she looked back up at him with a grin and Elias couldn’t help but beam at her. With a quick kiss and a heartfelt smile, Laila said, “I should go.”

Elias nodded. As he watched her walk inside her door, his heart went into overdrive all over again.

[washexthesystem]

14 16 27 30

thank you ;v;

14: share a positive butch experience!!

hmm i can think of a lot actually but i’m gonna go off one of the funniest things that’s ever happened to me as a baby butch (i still am one but like when i wasn’t even presenting as butch i was just a tiny babie) anyways like some butches /choose/ to be butch and that is absolutely valid and A OK but for some of us it’s inescapable and for me it has definitely been that way - when i used to dress in booty shorts, fishnets, and crop tops, my mom still referred to me as a baby butch - i didn’t even know what butch meant, let alone that i liked any girls at all - it was ninth grade ffs. anyways, so on to the story - my aunt does a lot of stuff for fundraising AIDS research, and i stayed over at hers, so i was at an AIDS fundraiser, and mind you, i was wearing a miniskirt and tights and a crop top and a hefty amount of eyeliner. i’m pretty sure i identified as tentatively bisexual at this point, but still didn’t know my history for shit at this point, and had no concept of gaydar whatsoever. anyways, i’m sitting on my ass, and this elderly butch woman comes up to me - she’s sort of stocky and covered in tattoos and she has short hair and she obviously recognizes something in me because she starts discussing her wife and team dresch with me. my fourteen year old self is utterly bewildered and doesn’t know what the fuck to say. at this point she’s probably like, you are one dumb oblivious idiot. but whenever i feel like i’m not butch enough or invalid i think about how even in a mini skirt i was butch enough for this random elderbutch to come up to me and talk to me about team dresch.  

16: what is your favorite piece of butch media/media with butches?

anything alison bechdel of course, i also really enjoy ivan coyote’s work and stone butch blues is a masterpiece. also gender trouble: the butches is something every single young butch should watch.

27: are you into other butches?

VERY

30: what makes you feel butch?

being around other butches, that one time i got the dyke nod in trader joes even though i was wearing booty shorts, consuming butch media because i can #relate, wearing “masc” clothing, writing about my experiences and connecting with other butches and gnc people through sharing my experiences

send me butch questions!!