#but my dad wasnt living there at the time and was only showing up once a day to feed her (and vacuum cuz the floor was covered in a

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Seeing all the pawpaw trees ive seen this week has reawakened my desire to find them back home

Ive gone through all the pawpaw sightings on inaturalist in the lawrence (there aren't many) and favorited all the ones that have (basically) exact locations in public areas and hiking trails

Im going pawpaw hunting when I get home

[pascals-doll]

like a virgin

joel miller x reader

🫧 inspired by madonnas like a virgin MY MADONNA CONCERT IS COMING UP I-

🫧 i always make my writings for joel so long but i love this man smm i could write all day for him it dont even b on purpose 😩

🫧 description: pre-outbreak!joel, babysitter!reader, reader babysits sarah, semi-fluff, DILF JOEL DILFFF, age gap (joel is 36 and reader is early 20s), smut smut, SMUT SMUTTT, dom!joel, softdom!joel(ugh i need so bad),sub!reader, hella praise kink, reader and joel are obessesed w each other tbh, secret crushing, body worship (reader reciving/ slight joel), pussy eating, possessive!joel, unprotected sex, p in v sex, hair pulling (j recieving), tommy is a teasing p.o.s 😭, no use of y/n, use of nicknames (sweetheart, darlin, and sweet girl).

you stepped into the miller’s residence weekly to babysit his daughter Sarah, she was the sweetest teen girl. she reminded you a bit of yourself when you were her age which was probably the cause of the instant connection.

you had been baby-sitting for almost 8 months now, leading to getting closer to Joel; Sarah’s dad.

Joel was more than a hunk of a man, he towered over you even with your heeled mary-janes at times, his broad build engulfing all his clothing making him look like a slutty construction worker with his roughed up baggy-blue jeans thats sinched around his waist perfectly.

you would be lying if you wouldn’t oogle the man while his attention was pulled onto something else. you would watch the way he talked so sweetly to Sarah, yet when it came to a phone call, his neighbor, a stranger or his brother, Tommy that would occasionally stop by.

Joel would have this assertive and unruly tone underneath that thick southern accent. he was a man that paid close attention in his life which is why he has allowed you to take care of his daughter with so much trust.

you would never know it but Joel cherished you and the things you do.

Joel would show it in very discreet ways, today was a prime a example.

“m’havin a famiy cookout later t’night, why don’t you head on home to rest, so you can come back to enjoy with us.” Joel invitied you with ease as you began to grab your belongings from his coat-rack near his front door.

you grabbed your purse, walking towards the sound of his voice which was right around the corner. Joel was standing in his wide living room.

“it would be more than my pleasure. thank you for everything again. im always very appreciative for sarah and you” you thanked him sweetly, eyes meeting his.

he stood next to his large bookcase that had an assortment of different books, personal objects, some cds/dvds, and his vinyls.

joel picked up a vinyl, sliding out of the slot in the shelving of his bookcase, pulling it out of the envelope, and placing it on the record player.

yet another instance, where you accidentally ogle him.

“the real thank you should be t’ya. im adjustin’ to single parentin’ and ya’ been very accommodatin’, thank you.”

your kind demeanor was the sweetner to his coffee.

you were now home, getting dressed to return to the Miller’s residence.

usually when you’re babysitting, you dressed lazily. you would put on a random shirt and jeans or sweats.

you wanted to cleanup a bit more, knowing it wasnt just going to be you and sarah most of the day; Joel would be there.

you threw on this cute blue floral sundress that was mid-length, it stopped right below your cross necklace.

you finished up by pairing it with white frilly socks with mid-heeled black flats.

you didn’t put much makeup on, only putting the basics before doing any last touch-ups and grabbing your black mini-purse.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

once you arrived, opening the gate and greeting a few of the people that were sitting on the porch before entering through the front door.

the sound of chatter got louder as you walked through his home. you turned around to the corner and his living room was empty but his kitchen was cluttered with different food and grill necessities.

you thought to yourself how they must be outside, you began to walk farther into his home till the back where the sliding door to his backyard was.

you began to slide the door open “oh my!! you came!” sarah squealed out of excitement, she came from restroom door next to the side of his sliding door.

you immediately engulfed the excited girl that ran into your arms “i wouldn’t miss it for the world, girl!” you exclaim while smiling.

“c’mon! my dad is outside grilling!” sarah spoke excitedly. she grabbed your hand as you opened the door and walked outside together.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

“d’ya invite that sweet babysitter of yours?” Tommy asks joel while seasoning the steak “i did, i hope she comes-you know, for sarah and all” Joel tries to play off with his words.

“oh my brother fancy’s someone, i see” Tommy chuckles out, putting his beer bottle up in the air slightly.

“i do not fuckin’fancy that young lady. she’s gone above and beyond for my daughter and i just wanted her to feel welcome” Joel explains himself, his tone laced with angry yet getting his explaination a across a bit hastily. Tommy’s eyebrow quirks.

“don’t say nothin’ else” Joel utters out in a stern tone, grabbing his cold corona as Tommy puts his hands up in defence.

Tommy turned his head, not the best decision as it made his amusement grow fonder. he turns back to Joel.

“well, ya’look at that brother” Tommy slys out, throwing a wink at his older brother before making his way back to his wife Maria.

It was you and sarah approaching, Joel actually choked on his sip of beer.

you were beautiful, Joel wasn’t an oblivious man.

Joel, himself even thought it was impressive how easily you cleaned yourself up by just some jeans and sweatshirt; at times just a shirt.

tonight was different, very different.

Joel finally has seen you outside of your different hoodies and pants.

he couldn’t begin to comprehend as you and sarah got closer and closer “Dad! she made it” sarah calls him out in excitement.

you finally approached him next to his griller which caused him to immediately snap out of his gaze.

Joel gave you his hand to shake “thank you so much for having me” you thank him, sweetly accepting as you began to shake pulling you in for a soft side hug.

you were right beside him, feeling the heat of the fire from the grill on both of you.

in Joel’s eyes, up close, your beauty was now beyond otherworldly. your light blue sundress bringing out the color of your eyes, the way your hair fell on your shoulders, and your jewlery sparkiling the tone of your skin.

you looked so elegant, yet you still managed to keep it simple. your winged liner making you look more mature than just the light mascara you would rush onto your lashes before getting out of your car on babysitting days.

Joel couldn’t begin to wrap it around his mind how you could possibly look so pure yet you were a woman. a hard-working one at that.

he knew that. it was something that made him desire you which felt so wrong.

“anytime, ya deserve to be apart of the family-shit! ya’already are” Joel goes off a bit nervously after ogling you. you gave him a soft smile.

“did’ya need help with the grill?” you quickly perk in as the fire began to sizzle a tad bit louder than usual “ah shit!” Joel exclaims, flipping each of the steak.

“careful now, brother! dont burn ‘em!” Tommy calls out, laughing with a devious smirk as he approaches again with cooler in hand.

Joel grumbled something under his under his breath as he focused on the grill.

“nice to meet you, i’ve heard s’much about you! I’m Joel’s brother, Tommy.” the younger brother introduces himself.

you give him your hand to shake “It is nice to meet the uncle tommy” you joke out causing sarah to giggle with you.

Joel couldn’t begin to explain the beauty you carried within you.

he was sure that if a god made you, it was Hestia and Aphrodite.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

the evening was pleasantly spent by you getting to meet maria and her pregnant belly, congratulating her.

then once it was time to serve the dinner, you helped Joel and Tommy by moving the grilled food off of the grill.

this consisted of Tommy making jokes that had slight insinuating under-tones that you were too naive to pick up but laugh everytime Joel would punch Tommy’s shoulder roughly, not being playful at all.

you helped bring in the food as sarah set up the dining table. once everything was set up and everyone sat down to eat, Joel’s grilling being beyond splendid.

when dinner was over while everyone cleaned up, you went to use the restroom.

you finished using up the restroom which is how you were now in Joel’s living room.

you began to admire his large bookcase from where he stood earlier to invite you.

you skimmed through, your hands softly going over the objects as you observed his books, framed pictures, his collection of dvds, and then his vinyls.

you had a record player of your own, sometimes sarah would ask you to play bon jovi and tell you where the record was.

Joel had an impressive collection, ranging to every genre of music. he had some legends on vinyls like Bob Marley, Johnny Cash, Lionel Richie, and Madonna.

you immediately picked up the Madonna vinyl, it was her second album ‘Like a Virgin’.

you grew up with your mom adoring Madonna more than anything which explains your adoration for her music.

“I was in highschool when i first heard Madonna” a deep voice spoke through the room, behind you.

you automatically knew it was Joel, turning around still looking at the tracklist on the back of his vinyl “this is my favorite album besides Like a Prayer” you say as you walk up to him, smiling.

“you weren’t even born yet” Joel laughs out causing you to jokingly get offended.

“excuse me, i know my Madonna” you joke back, giving him a playful wink which he just gave you a slight chuckle too.

“she say she know she Madonna, ay?” he gives you a slight smile, opening up his record player before inserting the vinyl.

soon enough the record player began to ring a classic 80s pop beat through the room.

you automatically felt yourself slightly popping your leg with the beat and snapling your fingers slightly.

“go ahead, Mr.80s” you state smiling, inviting him to dance “oh no, i-don’t dance” Joel quirks out awkwardly, now standing nervous.

Joel admired your confidence and comfortabilty in your skin, you were so young and full of life while also being so sophisticated and methodical.

you grab Joels hands and began to playfully sway with him.

Oh, like a virgin

Touched for the very first time

Like a virgin

When your heart beats next to mine

🫧

you sang the melodious lyrics under your breath. you felt your breath hitch as you locked eyes with joel, being in his grasp.

you could feel your body burn up in his strong hold, his heavy hand on the small of your waist.

your breath hitched causing your chest to push up against his chest. this felt so right, the way his hands held your body and each of your curves.

🫧

You're so fine, and you're mine

Make me strong, yeah, you make me bold

Oh, your love thawed out

Yeah, your love thawed out

What was scared and cold

Joel made you feel more than a woman, you were so polish and refined, yet so sophisticated and mature while all-looking ever so young and full of life.

he felt a bit of confidence which made him twirl you around, engulfing you into his embrace again with one arm; your back to his chest now.

you swore the sound of the song was slowly drowning out and now the sexual tension was ringing through the both of you.

you could feel his heartbeat thump against your back as his hands rubbed both sides of your waist to the rythem of your delicate sways.

you leaned your head back against his chest, his scent being the only thing on your mind.

you felt him begin to caress your hair with one hand as it left your waist.

“you’re s’beautiful, hope y’know that” Joel could blame it on his 5 beers but 5 beers wasn’t shit for Joel, he was very conscious of his choices.

the compliment sent shivers down your spine as you swore your knees grew limp momentarily.

you turned around, your thigh now inbetween one of his legs, chests pressed against each other, his hands gripping your hips now, and faces inches away from each other.

your lips were parted, you really were debating on kissing the beautiful hunk of a dad infront of you.

fuck it

just like that, within no time your lips were moving like you both had never kissed anyone before.

the song continuing to play as the both of you makeout in his living room while everyone was outside.

the way his hands ran through all of your body like he had never touched anyone, your lips pulling away to catch your breathe momentarily like you had never been kissed like that before.

Joel completely ravished you.

hell…now that he had you, he wasn’t gonna let go now.

“m’room darlin’” he mutters against your lips, before completely scooping you up bridal style. it caught you slightly off guard, gasping which made Joel smack your ass playfully.

“oh, aren’t you a gentleman?” you joke, your arms were wrapped around his neck.

“oh, don’t’cha worry sweetheart” Joel smirks out as you arrived to his room.

he laid you on his bed, going down with you while on top of you. he began to move his lips from kissing you to your neck, pulling down the small straps that held your dress.

each kiss that Joel placed on your body felt like a burning sensation, making your insides erupt with giddiness.

you felt like this was your first time all over again. your mind was racing, heart was nervous, and body was clamy.

and it was all because of Joel.

you weren’t sexually active at all recently, you were so busy with work, about to graduate with your masters, and even babysitting sarah; spending more time at the Millers than on dates.

you did go out but lord were the guys of this generation a bunch of sluts.

“what’s on your mind? am i doin’ somethin’ wrong?” Joel’s rushes out accidentally, not wanting to sound nervous but he did.

you weren’t only one feeling like a bad teenager doing this for the first time.

Joel smelled your perfume and that was all it took to get his mind racing. he couldn’t begin to fathom how he finally got to have you.

the way his big frame craddled yours sent him into overdrive, his heart going a million miles per minute as he tries to figure out where to even begin.

for you, it might’ve been a year but for him, it was almost like ages with the years he’s gone.

all Joel’s mind could do was think of all the things he could do to you.

“Joel-hmph” you couldnt help but whine out as his hands massaged closer and closer to your arousal.

“there there sweet girl, you ever been with a man?” Joel asks, lifting your dress up, exposing your angelic white panties.

Joel was damned forsure for the filthy thoughts you provoked out of him.

“n-no, i have never—they were idiots.” you felt so small under him, feeling overwhelmed like it was your first time all again.

at this point, you could’ve considered yourself a virgin with how Joel had you and how much of a man he was.

“you ain’t gon’go lookin’ f’someone to take care of that pretty lil’mind, not after im done with’ya.” Joel claims to you.

you believe every single word laced in his southern accent; making your cunt pulsate wantingly.

“is that what you want to do, Joel? take care of me?” you ask him, lifting your leg to spread yourself open more as you wrap it around his lower waist; basically resting on his thick thigh.

the way you looked at him through your lashes, batting them softly. it was a genuine question, laced with purity and hope.

“if you’ll allow me too-” Joel began, pulling down your panties. you expected him to unbuckle his belt next but no; he got on his knees.

your chest weighed up and down heavily, each of his touch making your body hot.

“it’s my only wish for taking care of me and sarah” Joel finishes before hooking both of your legs up onto his shoulders, his tongue wasting no time.

you didn’t even get a chance to respond, a moan erupting out of you being the only thing.

the way he ate your pussy like he didn’t just eat a whole meal downstairs had your back already arching.

Joel’s tongue swiped along all of your cunt, fucking your sweethole “jesus, ya’taste fuckin’ delicious” Joel mumbles against your pussy as his tongue quickens all along your juiced cunt.

“ahmph!” your shriek sounding like music to his ears, if he didnt have his family downstairs, he’d have you screaming.

“quiet fa’me, doll” he says, taking a hand to cover your mouth as before diving back in.

joel’s tongue fucks into your hole this time causing you to let out a muffled moan against his big hand.

the way that man was eating your pussy, tainting your pussy with his spit, marking it all as his drove you insane. there wasnt nothing this man couldn’t do.

“god! j-joel!” you muffle out, your hands go to his roughed up brown hair, pulling on it causing him to groan into your dripping pussy.

you felt yourself getting closer and closer, your pussyhole squeezing around the tip of his tongue.

“this pussy s’perfect- s’all fuckin’ mine.” Joel spits out once he pulled away from your pussy, denying you of your orgasm.

your mouth was agape in pleasure but then quickly falling into a pout “don’t worry darlin’, my baby will cum…on my dick” Joel’s voice is sweet like honey now as he leaned down to connect your lips together.

you taste yourself on his lips, mixture of his spit along his lips causing you to moan at the mix of both of your filth fogging your mind.

the way both of your lips moved in sync perfectly was beyond intoxicating for joel. he swore he could get addicted to just at the look of you but at this point, both of your lips had him drunk.

he had shimmied and kicked off his pants while making-out with you. he was completely taking over you once again, your body turning small under his big one.

“are you ready, sweetheart?” joel asks delicately, pulling away from your lips to look at your eyes.

you told him yes, leaning up to take his shirt off which he happily obliged.

you had only seen his toned arms but it was obvious he had a strong build. he might’ve not had a six-pack but lord were his muscles chiseled like a greek god.

“you gon’ drool over an old man?” joel utters out, his hand going in to caress your hair.

“oh baby, you’re beyond fine wine.” you whisper. your forehead’s connected, lips away from kissing, and looking him deep in his chocolate eyes.

Joel could feel his breath hitch at what you said, you already had him wrapped around your finger as he worshipped you.

Joel thrusted himself into you, he couldn’t even fucking believe how tight you were.

“jesus- god, this pussy s-ah fuck!” joel’s groan was almost animalistic as your mouth fell as if you wanted to scream but nothing came out.

Joel’s cock was a size you’ve never had before, it didnt hurt but oh, did it stretch.

“s’big-oh my!” you moan out loudly, eyes rolling back at the feeling of him delectably stretching your pussy out.

“you got it baby, you got it” he praises you although he was too busy trying not too pass-out because of your cunt.

after a small moment of adjusting for the both of you, he began to thrust into you at a slow pace.

you arch into him as your whimpers and soft moans turn slowly work their way up to louder and heavier moans.

joel worked himself into you, his mind not being able to get enough of all of you. he still had to process that he really had a young beautiful woman with the heart of a home in his bed.

joel completely held your body with one hand, eventually putting a hand over your mouth again once his sweet thrusts turned into pounds.

your body shaking against his with each of his rough and hard thrusts, fucking your name out of your mind and replacing it wirh his.

your muffled little cries of his name “Joel! joel-ah! j-j! j-joel!” sounding like a sweet lullaby to him. he couldn’t help but smirk at your teary eyed-self.

you werent even worried about ruining that pretty liner of yours as he fucked into you.

“shh my baby, you’re taking me so well” joel coos out, caressing you hair before leaning down to plant kisses and suck on your chest.

your hands grip his bed sheets as your body begins to shake in pure sensual bliss that joel brought you, making your mind fog up as the build up of your orgasm is almost virginal.

“ya’look so beautiful like this-” praises left joel’s lips left and right, loving and indulging in every single one of his praises as he fucked you to your orgasm so sickeningly good; leaving the both of you intoxicated.

“you was made fa’me, not no one else.” Joel’s eyes were shut now, completely lost in the pleasure you were giving him.

it was almost like a prayer, a hopeful chant, almost a possessive plead.

joel had wanted you just as much as you wanted him “yes! god yes! m’close! it’s y-yours! all yours!” your pleasure-filled babbles as your mind gets drunk of joels cock and overwhelming orgasm.

“let go, darlin’ ” Joel works you through your orgasm, hips going from pistoling into you to the delicate pace he started off with.

your entire body shook as both of your sweaty hot bodies embraced each other through both of your orgasms.

the room filled with heavy pants and moans as his hand left your mouth and began to massage your hair.

you both held each other, not wanting to let go of each other.

“i understand what madonna meant by ‘like a virgin’ now” you giggle out causing a playfully scoff to come from him.

“alright alright, we need t’get dressed and head back down. would ya’ want to stop by tomorrow after i drop sarah off at school?” joel asks, his chocolate eyes now ridden of lust and replaced with soft hope.

you were about to tell him yes but another voice spoke before you.

“are you fucking done?! fuck! i can’t keep stalling Sarah and Maria!” it was Tommy.

[quitealotofsodapop]

More details on my "The Monkey King and the Infant" au;

Sun Wukong was given MK's egg by Nezha under the Jade Emperor's command. The Lotus Prince, equally disgusted by Heaven's order, promised to keep quiet on whatever the Monkey King chose to do with the egg.

The Jade Emperor, Lao Tzu, most of the Celestials and Demons that had past beef with Sun Wukong; All want this stone egg scrambled. Save strangely enough for Princess Iron Fan, who's already watching the baby stone monkey's career with great interest.

MK's egg being formed is "somehow" connected to Macaque being resurrected by LBD. Only LBD knows the true reason.

Sun Wukong and Macaque reunited during the process of deciding what to do with the egg. It wasnt pretty, but both agreed that it was an issue far greater than their estrangement.

The two wandered for sometime, just trying to find a way for the unhatched Stone Monkey to live in peace separated from the chaos of Heaven. Until they came across a noodle stand with an unusually familiar face.

Macaque initially protested leaving the egg with Pigsy. However, when the pig demon assumed the pair were down-on-their luck soon-to-be-parents needing a safe space to rear their unborn, he offered the apartment above the shop for free. Macaque was quick to reconsider his first impression.

The Monkeys, Pigsy, and Tang, are all co-parenting the little undercooked Monkey. It can be a little confusing when MK grows up and mentions having four separate parents but people are mostly polite about it. Uncle Sandy has been tagging in for babysitting duty ever since Pigsy caught a horde of Flower Fruit Monkeys filling in for their King on diaper duty.

Nezha pops in after a few months post-hatch, and pretty much cries in relief and shame that he suspected for even a moment that Sun Wukong would harm the little infant. Becomes MK's unofficial Fairy Godfather.

Macaque and the few Celestials who know of MK's existance call him "The Egg" long after he's hatched. It's easier to see him as something that can still be crushed. Macaque's title eventually turns into an adoring nickname. The Celestial's title becomes a threat.

Pigsy and Tang were legit unaware that the two Monkey Demons that showed up are the ones from the stories. After all, there's gotta be a bunch of them hanging around right? Right?

One day Pigsy walks in on MK's egg being warmed in a nest of heated blankets, and quickly puts two and two together. Him and Tang both agree that all these little details stay inside the noodle shop.

MK hatched surrounded by adoring eyes and a warm bowl of noodles. More suspicions are raised when he looks like a odd mix of the two adult stone monkeys. His offical name is "Qi Xiaotang", since he's the little piece of Heaven that the Jade Emperor cannot control.

Sun Wukong: "First one to get called Dad gets naming privileges!"

Baby MK imprinted a lot from Pigsy. Cue piglet squealing and grunts in addition to regular baby monkey noises. The sounds made during bath time got animal control called on the shop more than once.

Tang is still a big Journey to the West nerd. Him and Macaque sometimes grab cocktails and talk about relationship issues.

MK has built-in Gold Vision + Glamour filter. Its a little startling for demons who thought they had perfect glamours. MK himself looks just "human-enough" that he can pass as human easily.

Mei is still MK's bff. Although she's confused why he keeps saying she has scales. Red Son keeps running into them pre-Staff and is very annoyed.

At the time of the show's canon; Sun Wukong's Staff willingly gets removed by MK, tricked by PIF and Red Son. And the Demon Bull King aint happy to see a mini-Wukong when he wakes up.

MK: "My parents are gonna Kill me."

The waking of DBK, and MK inheriting Sun Wukong's powers, things get a little heated at home. Esp since LBD wants to "cash in" her favor to Macaque, old wounds get reopened, and the Jade Emperor is starting to realise that Sun Wukong didnt smash the stone egg and that Nezha has been covering for him.

This au is consuming me.

[doodle-do-wop]

Kotlc theory: spoilers for Stellarlune

I'm probably gonna slap this on discord cause I like rambling to my friends but it felt like a fun theory to drop here anyway

It's a very very VERY long plot point that I honestly kinda maybe somewhat thought about the first time it popped up but the missing star stone Gisela had commissioned into a hair thingy

Biana mentions her dad taking her to buy a comb once when she was young and that was that up until Stellarlune when the star stone is essential now for Elysian and Biana, brilliant girl that she is, has a theory about the stones and as per use, she's right. Whenever Biana has a theory there is like a 90% chance she's right or she was still right but just slightly missed the target. So it turns out Biana has had the star stone this whole damn time sitting in a box because little baby Biana didn't think it was pretty/it wasn't the one she wanted

But Cyrrah purposefully gave the star stone to Biana and yeah it could just be because no one would think twice about some little kid having what is essentially the government's biggest secret in a jewelry box for who knows how many years but could Biana have been essential to Elysian in some other way besides being the keeper of the place?

Had Alvar ever been ordered to snoop through his family's jewelry because Gisela heard they bought something from Cyrrah but everyone just shrugged her off because she's crazy and paranoid and none of Della's jewelry was special but womp womp Gisela uses her brain for something other than kicking kids and she right

I know Biana is Shannon's favorite plot device for moving things along and Dex is her favorite when she remembers he exists and needs to set a kid on fire (I really hope Dex doesn't die in the final battle because if anyone is going down to an exploding glittery rock it would be Dex but knowing him and fire Dex might survive this) but I genuinely think Biana might still have a foot in the door with this whole Elysian thing

And yeah, big shocker I'm talking about Stina again, but where the fuck did this kid get a book on BATTLE STRATEGY??? How did this 'cowardly' character who has only been in ONE FIGHT THAT WASNT EVEN GIVEN TO US IT WAS JUST SPARK NOTES NEVER TO BE TOUCHED UPON AGAIN( Shannon when I catch you Shannon) HOW DID SHE OF ALL THE CHARACTERS WHO HAVE NEARLY LOST THEIR LIVES USE THAT THING INSIDE HER SKULL CALLED A BRAIN AFTER ONE BATTLE AND THINK "hey i should learn battle strategy" WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID

Shannon hates me, it's true, she stuck a sticky note to my door that says 'I hate you Doodle-xoxo go piss girl (Shannon)' and I saw her in a Mazda waiting for me to read the note and then dramatically burn tires as she drove off, so I know this blonde woman will do SOMETHING that will make me wanna throw book 10 into the ocean. It will probably be the page count of the book for the number of 'last time on Shameless' filler paragraphs. But she'll do SOMETHING to piss me and only me straight off and it's gonna have something to do with Stina I feel it in me bones.

Cause where did she get a battle strategy book????? Who did Stina go up to and say 'hey does my library card work for goblin writings on battle strategy?'. Elves don't have those types on books they're allegedly peaceful but I mean if they made themselves forget about Nightfall and Elysian the elves might have a super secret dark history of battle strategy.

Biana, Fitz, Tam, Linh, Wylie, Stina, Dex, (I don't even remember if Keefe was there I just recall the Horse Girls and Sophie punching stained glass while Marella shows her support for the LGBT) and the rest of the adults who have so far been nerfed beyond nerffing

Unless Shannon decides she needs a book 11 book 10 is about to be the longest book I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on or worse, broken into two book parts

Shannon can't drop cookie crumbs no more she can only drop the full fucking box of cookies so that battle strategy better come in clutch like the deus ex machina I know it's going to be but I also think it's hilarious that Sophie and the gang leave Stina to her own devices for maybe less than 24 hours and Stina managed to set up a full armada in that time.

Shannon had Stina do far too many things in Stellarlune that are never touched upon/mentioned after they're said and once again, she can't drop crumbs she can only drop the whole cookie. Stina in Stellarlune volunteered to 1) talk to a psychopath 2) search through Kenric's library for a crystal that still wasn't found and 3) read battle strategy while calling herself their strongest asset

Stina has to have something up her sleeves and it better be something big or I'm fighting Shannon in the park lot again. Stina could have gotten the book on battle strategy from Kenric's library tbh and asked to check it out or she was only allowed to read it in Kenric's library. Who knows. I think it's hilarious that Oralie might've had to report back to the council that Stina Heks is reading battle strategy books. Lord only knows how Timkin handled telling the Collective his daughter is reading those books.

Can't believe Stina might be a deus ex machina in book 10, I will go crazy if book 10 is too long and has to be broken up into two parts. I still feel like Biana plays a bigger part because she always does. And this has gone from theory to nonsensical rambling but that's just how this blog rolls

[max-the-many]

Start here:

'body a day' #19: dad

Took me quite a minute to figure out his adress. Couldn't ask as I was his son. Luckily his phone got face recognition. So an hour later I was on my way out of the city to meet his, or may I say my dad.

He greeted me at the porch as I arrived at a nice little house in the outskirts.

"Almost thought you might skip it!" he chuckled, giving me a hearty half-hug grabbing my shoulders before heading towards a big heap of uncut wood that wouldn't be all of what had to be prepared for the winter. Much time to get to know him while getting to know my new body at the same time, working, sweating, seeing his older version doing just that.

Turned out, he lived alone, beeing one of those weel known, but independent wolfs after his wife left feom one day to the other.

The way he treated me, his son, though, really spoke for a big heart, making me even more horny than in the gym at the same time.

It was pretty late when we finally headed in, going for a nice clunk of golden juice infront of the fireplace.

"Don't you wanna get your stuff in" he wondered.

"My... ah, ehm..."

"You will stay for the weekend as planned, don't you"

"I... sure!" I collected myself "I... damn, totally forget to pack some"

He just laughed it off "Guess it is ur old stuff then. Gonna head for the shower, though. If you wont first"

I didn't. I was just too curious to look around while he was away. When he was, though, my thoughts had another focus. To know, that he was undressing now, getting out of those dorty, sweaty cloth, stepping under the hot shower just got the best of me.

Eventually I gave into it, went up the stairs and ended up infront of the bathroom. The sound of the water, the smell of soap and man oozing out of the slightly opened door... It didn't take long for me to open the door completely, taking in the sight of him behind frosted showerdoors.

"Jacob?"

"Sorry... dad. Cant find any matching clothes. Where did you put 'em" I improvised.

"Didn't move anything" he replied "let me just finish. I'll show you"

I left. That little sneak really got me going, longing for me. His clothes alone, laying on the counter, screaming to be sniffed, to be worn even.

Worn... my mind went for his closet. So I looked around until I found the bedroom. To open the dresser, seeing all that stuff that he wore at some time really was a sight of it own. I almost grabbed some underwear when I saw a basket of dirty ones, going for it at once, fishing out some tighty whities to dive in when I heared the water stopping.

So I rushed back downstairs, chucking the underwear right into my crotch.

"Free to go!" I heared the old one shortly after, so I did, still having a major twitch against that whity if his. At the showers though it wasnt only that. Seeing myself, looking back as his son gave me the rest, sniffing his well-worled pits, injoying his shape under the shower, thinking of his old man while pumping out a major one.

The evening went pretty relaxed, chatting, sitting infront of a nice fire with some nice rye. I couldn't keep myself from reaching down every once in a while, partly out of pure horny, partly out of curiosity on his reaction.

Other than that I broad up some rather particular topics like jerking of. I planely asked if he caught me, as his son, doing it, going further about his own experiences which he answered surprisingly open. My handling though didn't get less at those instances, but he kept chill about it. He never saw his son or crashed into such occations, but as we talked I figured, he would have been totally fine with it. Even as I constantly reached for my crotch now, which he couldn't really ignore, he didn't loose a single word about it.

And I left it like that, injoying my little game, hightened even since I wore the very underwear I took from his dirty bin underneath.

Eventually we went for bed. There I layed, strippee down to just that tighty white brief of the hunk of a dad, laying mere meters away, twitching right there, thinking of him, of me, that dad-son-couple I encountered st the gym, now beeing all in, dying go make a move.

And after slumbering away a little I got up. I just had to, beeing driven over in thar early night, step by step, taken just wearing tjose briefs, eventually Peeking through the bedroom door.

The dad seemed to be asleep as I saw his broad, naked shoulders under the blanked. Quietly I stepped in, slowly, with a pulsing heart, staring at him with tenting groins. I couldn't do otherwise nut getting even closer. He appeared to be deeply asleep.

"Dad?" I whispered. Nothing. So I stepped closer already recognizing the smell from the bathroom if not imagined. My hand reached out like moved by it's own.

Suddenly a twitch!

But i moved on, clearing my throat to further test his state.

When I touched the blanket I felt my heart with every breath, his presence, his warmth. Then I slowly pulled on it. No reaction. Pulling on, bit by bit, revealing his back, inch by inch until... a clean, white waistband got visible. No way. As I pulled further, it got confirmed. He too was only wearing one of those tight, white briefs spanning my hips, moving under heavy twitches from his sons pulsing tool.

I couldn't stop, reaching ever so slowly towards his hairy chest, barely touching it when he suddenly churned, along with deep, sleepy moans. My hand remained. And he remained sleeping, allowing me to fully cup those meety pect, even massaging them the slightest bits while shivers ran theoughout my whole body.

I was so captired by the whole situation that I even didn't realized my hand touching my crotch, massaging it through the aalready damp fabric. His pleasant sighs didn't affect me less. So I continued fondling him, fondling me, getting down over his stomach to his soft but well packed crotch, feeling it while unpacking mine, breathing heavily until I suddenly began to erupt, barely able to contain heavy moans and even heavier grips to his package.

I almost forgot what really was hüpeningat that moment until I snapped concious of it again, a surprised to see that musky man infront of me still asleep with a satisfied smile, my juice spread all over the floor up to his blanket.

To be continued...

[cupoftaae]

Heyy! Love your work💜 Could you maybe write something fluffy, where tae is y/n’s comfort and she goes to him after a bad day🫶🏻

Hello there! AW, thank you for reading!

Fluffy taehyung is my weakness, I hope you enjoy anon :)

warnings- mentions of weed, swearing. Soft taehyung needs his own warnings tbh. also this takes place as if they were both like, 19-20 ish ....KIND OF FRIENDS TO LOVERS LOWKEY

wanna build a pillow fort? -KTH drabble

you werent sure how you had landed in this position in the first place, but here you were, sitting in the living room while your parents explained to you that...well...the college you had been praying to get into one day had declined you.

"are you sure?" you whispered, watching your dad show you the letter. You sighed, trying to hold back any signs of emotion. You had taken a gap year between graduating high school to now, just to grasp your bearings. You put all your energy into working and getting into school, but the universe had other plans.

"I know you wanted this so badly, y/n, im sorry" your mother sat down next to you. "What am I gonna do? I had no backup plan..." your face falls into your hands. "your so young, you have time. you can also sign up to take classes, you dont need to be a student" your mom adds.

"but I wanna be a student, thats the whole point."

"listen, I know this is stressful, but just go get some rest and maybe we can figure out a new plan tomorrow? ok?" your father stands up, looking at you sadly.

You shrugged, knowing that they were just trying to help, but there was no way out of this, you were fucking upset.

Once you had gotten into your room, slamming your door shut, you collapsed onto your bed and took 5 deep breathes, you didnt want to cry. You were a big girl now and crying over school was dumb. You just wanted to be with someone right now, and your best friend was 3 streets over, making things difficult.

You could invite him over, but your father wasnt too pleased to see him late at night the last time he was here. He had walked in and alerted your dog, making him bark until your parents came downstairs, freaked out. They also just dont like the idea of a boy being in your room, despite the fact you are 19, and have been friends with taehyung since you were little....there were absolutely no feelings like that showing up... at least thats what you chose to believe.

You quickly texted him just to see if he was even up to hang.

You: wyd

Tae: making ramen, wbu?

you smiled and chose to ignore his message, making the quick decision to grab your jacket and sneak out your window. Youve only done this one other time, and it was when you had covid and your friend Vanessa dropped off chipotle outside on your side of the house for you.

You prayed to God that your parents had no installed cameras, because one, you didnt want to get caught, and two, you fell on your ass on the way out. "Jesus christ" you scoff, getting up and making a dash to taehyungs house in the dark.

-

Taehyung was standing in the kitchen and dancing to music with his dog, making his little paws move according to the choreography. "Why are you making food so late?" Taehyungs mother spoke, coming into the room to fill up her tea. "because its friday.." he mumbled, mouth full of noodles.

"Okay" she laughed and shook her head, "just clean up, yeah? oh, an-"

his mother was cut off by the front door being knocked on, "who is here at this hour?" she whispered, walking over to look through the peep hole. She sarcastically looked back at taehyung, "why is y/n on my front step?" she smirked.

"she is??" he walked over to the door.

"you know if you wanted to plan a date, I could have made real food for you guys"

"mom stop" he shyly shushed her before opening the door.

"hello" you mumble, bowing at the presence of his mother.

"Hey, y/n...is everything alright?" he asks, his mother gently pulling you inside. "its almost 11 dear" she spoke.

"Im ok, Im just needing some time out of my house, I hope im not intruding?"

"oh no, no, sweetie youre good" she smiled and closed the door.

Taehyung hugged you and glanced at his mom

"i'll be upstairs if you need anything" she spoke, grabbing her tea and walking upstairs before yelling "Be good, just not too good"

He laughed and pulled away to look at you. "Not that I mind your presence, but...why are you here?"

you giggled as he took your coat and hung it up. "well....I uhm" you looked around before sitting on the edge of the couch. "I didnt get in" you shrugged, forced smile on your face.

"hm? what are you talking about?" he stands in front of you

"I received a letter in the mail today from HUFS, and it was declining my application" you speak softly, watching him frown.

"y/n...Im so sorry"

"its okay, its just a lot, but i'll be fine."

He kneeled in front of you and held your hands, "you know...its okay to be sad, right?" he whispers, "that was your dream school.."

you nodded, wanting to sink into the floor the moment you felt tears prickling your eyes. "I know, but...something new will come. I just really wanted to be like you, in school and working towards my degree already, you know?" you shrug.

he nods, "I know, but.." he squeezed your hands, "life isnt a competition, we all do things when the universe pulls us in that direction. Its ok this didnt work out, maybe it was for the best. I know you, y/n, and whatever you do in life is going to be fucking amazing, no doubt about it. So be sad, mourn what you will miss, but dont let it hold you back."

you nodded as tears escaped your eyes, small cries falling from your lips as he immediately held you up and wrapped you into his arms. "Its okay....I promise" he coo'd, hand brushing your hair as you finally let yourself feel upset.

"thank you" you sniff, wiping your eyes as you hold him.

"cmon, lets go eat junkfood and build a fort" he squeezed your waist, making you blush slightly as you followed him to the kitchen. "a fort?" you asked, eyes still wet.

"mhm, with like the pillows and stuff" he spoke, taking another bite of noodles.

you giggle, "ok"

-

You two sat under a giant pillow fort, with a blanket over the head for the roof. "I have to say, your pillow fort making skills have improved. Remember when we were little and it would always collapse on us?" you snorted, nudging him.

"I have improved and grown in many ways, trust the process of time" he joked, taking a bite of the chip in his hand.

He definitely had grown and improved, taking a moment to look over his face proves the fact that Taehyung had matured quite nicely at that.

"dont stare its rude" he teased, finding something to watch on youtube.

You shake your head, "sorry" you lean over to lay beside him so you can see the screen of his laptop.

"Your parents wont like...kill me...if they find out you spent the night, right?"

you giggle, "am I spending the night?"

"well, you dont have to, I just assumed because its already 1am and its not safe for you to be out and about"

you shook your head, "what? so I dont have what it takes to fight off street hagglers?"

"oh you do, Im keeping you off the street for their safety" he spoke seriously, making you laugh.

"mm, and no, my parents arent gonna do anything, I dont think....maybe.....you know what? I dont know"

"oh that makes me feel good" he fake pouts

"Im teasing, im 19 and they need to get over keeping me locked up all the time..." you play with the fabric of the blanket.

"I think your dad hates me, dude" he sighed, shutting his laptop and leaving you both to lay in the dark as you looked up at the green blanket roof.

"shut up, he does not"

"He told me that he didnt want me showing up there anymore"

"thats because it was 4am and you scared the dog, I told you to come in through the window you fucking dumbass" you joked, "he also caught you with weed, so there you go"

"hm, fair I guess" he sighed

"he doesnt hate you I promise" you turned on your side to face him, not realizing how close your faces were.

He turned his head, noses barley touching as you both looked over each others faces in the dark.

"are you feeling better?" he whispered

"yeah...yeah I am" you mumbled, wanting to pull away but also choosing to stay put.

"good" he smiled and turned his body so it was also laying on his side, facing you.

"Y/n?" he asked

"yeah?"

"is it ok if I kiss you?"

you felt your hear stop in your chest, what did he just ask you?

"w-what?" you look at him, eyes wide

"I asked if I could kiss you?" he repeated, voice so soft and quiet. "its ok to say no" he added.

you took a breath, realizing that in moments like this, you really have to be honest with yourself and stop saying you aren't attracted to him, because here he is, in front of you, asking to kiss after taking his time to make you feel better. You can only hold on to your discipline so much before you fold.

"yeah...yeah you can kiss me, tae" you exhale, shocked the words even came from your mouth.

His large hand came up to hold your face delicately, thumb brushing your skin as you both leaned in slowly until each others lips clashed. The feeling felt a lot more natural than you anticipated, it wasn't weird, or awkward or cringe, it felt....right?

If tae's plan was to make you fully forget about that college letter, than goal achieved.

You knew you both would have to talk about this later, at some other time when your mouths weren't attached to each other, but for now all you wanted to do was be thankful for him.

you gently pulled back and giggled like a little girl, a blush creeping over your face as he pulled you against his chest. There were no words or jokes, you both simply laid together before eventually falling asleep in each others embrace.

Maybe he was right about better things coming, and maybe this was it.

A/N- this was so cute I was kicking my feet and giggling while writing, we all need our own taehyung.

[yappinggggg]

Okay so this is smth i thought about yesterday in the shower (and idk how to start this so please have mercy)

Also slight spoiler warning (ig)

So its a common knowledge that kids take after the parental figure that they have the most to do or is the most involved with the kids and so on,right?

Now lets take Cruel.

Cruel as a child seemed cheerful and only slightly acted like his Dad (in moments when it came to stuff Deon wasnt supposed to do).

But we see how as an adult he ends up like his dad.

Distant, doesnt show his emotions to protect Deon, quiet, always there but not in the way Deon needed him to be.

Which leaves us with the question: why is that? (Which is what i thought about and the reason this post is being made)

My own theory is that their mom tried her best to be active in her kids live (but it was difficult with Deon and we all know how that went) but after Deon got taken to war she just couldnt interact much with Cruel.

Was it because of guilt? Did she see Deon in Cruels innocence? Or was it the sadness in Cruels eyes since his brother got taken away? Or was it because she was too heartbroken? Maybe she spent most of her time trying to find a way to get Deon back?

Whatever it was- it seems to have caused her to be less active in Cruels life.

Now im not saying their dad didnt grieve and was saddened- but hes the head of the household. He has to stay strong.

I feel like one of his priorities is probably not only his family but also their image. I think this way because of how he treated Deon and Cruel. I dont remember the line or smth but i think he also once mentioned how others thought about Deon and so on- which shows he cares about their image.

Their dad probably was a bit like his wife but probably got himself together quite fast.

Which now reflects in Cruel.

Their dads actions formed Cruel.

The silence, the distance, the way he speaks, the way he walks, his expressions- so so much about Cruel is similar to his dad.

[bridgyrose]

Ruby woke up as she heard the door to the room open and close, still not ready to get up and move. Her head still spun about the thought of having a second chance to redo what she considered her greatest failure as if the world wanted to torment her. It didnt matter to her how many people were saved, what mattered was losing Penny. And even though Penny was back, it didnt ease her thoughts that she was going to lose her again. 

“Now that you’ve had a bit of time to rest, how do you feel?” Ashe asked as she sat down a bag onto a small table. 

“A little better,” Ruby answered quietly with a lie as she sat up. “I should get going though.” 

“Are you sure? You can stay here a while longer. Besides, where do you need to go?” 

“I need to find my sister-” Ruby paused for a moment as she thought about it. Going back to Yang was a priority, but after that she didnt know what she was going to do. Find out why there were airships everywhere? Try to find Penny again? Fail to save another kingdom. So many options and yet, she couldnt find it in herself to try for any of them.

Ashe shook her head and went to the door. “Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.” 

Ruby tilted her head. “Show me?” 

“You look like you could use some fresh air. And maybe some time away from the city.” 

Ruby nodded and got up to follow Ashe out of the inn. Her heart started to pound in her chest as they made it to the city streets, her eyes instinctively glued on the airships above. A fleet too similar to Atlas when it fell, yet the danger here didnt seem to be as clear as it used to. 

“Just focus on where you’re walking,” Ashe said quietly as she took Ruby’s hand. “You dont need to worry about the airships right now.” 

Ruby had wanted to argue, but instead found herself nodding in agreement and following Ashe’s instructions. She looked away from the airships and only focused on the steps in front of her. Cement sidewalks turned into cobblestone and then to wood as they made their way to the docks and onto a ferry to head to the island of Patch. As the sounds of the city started to die down the farther away they got, Ruby couldnt help but stare at the water in front of them. 

“Feeling better.” 

“A little, but… why are we going to Patch? Everything I read said that no one lived there anymore.” 

“Its because no one lives there anymore that it makes the island the perfect place to relax. And I have to make my way over there anyway.” 

“Why?” 

“I’ll explain when we get there.” 

Ruby nodded with a soft sigh and watched the water as the ferry made its way to the island. She had to admit it was peaceful and a ride she never thought she’d take again after leaving Patch. Going home seemed like a far away dream she had given up on in order to try to save the world, and worried about how her dad would react to her coming home after leaving so abruptly. And yet, as the island grew closer, she couldnt help but feel a bit at peace. 

Once the ferry landed at what was left of the dock on the island, she stepped off and stared at the remains of the village. It had been clear no one had lived here for years, buildings were being reclaimed by the land as vines and bushes started to take over stone walls. Wooden frames had rotted out and a few buildings had collapsed down into the ground. For a village she never thought she’d see again, this wasnt how she imagined coming back. 

“Everything okay?” Ashe asked, concern in her voice. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“Something like that,” Ruby answered as she looked away from the ruins. “What exactly did you want to show me here?” 

“Its a bit farther, over near a cliff side.” 

Ruby cocked a brow, curious about what Ashe wanted to show her, but continued to follow her past the ruins of the village and deeper onto the island. The longer they walked, the less she recognized the island, and yet the walk felt familiar to her. One that she had taken hundreds of times to get home.But once they reached the cliff, Ruby slowed to a stop as she recognized exactly where they were, her eyes resting on two tombstones in the ground, one well kept with a bit of moss covering the stone, the other cracked and worn by the weather. 

Ashe knelt down in front of the stones, wiping the moss off one and looking for the pieces of the other. “I swear, its like there’s someone here waiting for me to leave so they can desecrate this place.” 

Ruby slowly walked over the graves and knelt down in front of the pristine one, wiping a bit of moss away from the engraving. The name “Summer Rose” was still visible and tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. Even after all these years, her grave seemed untouched. 

She wiped away a few tears and then looked over Ashe’s shoulder to see who the other grave was for. The name had been destroyed over the years, though enough remained to make out the name “Rose”.

“I really wish people would leave this grave alone,” Ashe said as she finished gathering the stones and started to piece them together, her eyes glowing as she melted the rocks in place. “One story paints a bad picture and suddenly everyone thinks she’s a villain.” 

“Who’s grave is this?” Ruby finally asked. 

“Her name was Ruby Rose. And the women of my family have been tasked with watching over this grave.” 

Ruby felt her heart stop as she stared at her own grave. Then, she finally saw the glow of Ashe’s eyes and her body shook in fear as she remembered seeing Cinder’s eyes glow just before she died. The way the fire burned in her eyes, the heat of the flames on her skin as she cried out in pain. 

Ashe finished putting the grave back together and pulled away. “I dont remember why it started, but one of my ancestors came here and vowed to protect this grave. The story that was passed down was that Ruby was a great warrior who finally brought humanity together and led the way for an evil witch to be defeated. Though, that story seems to have been forgotten over the years in favor of her being the villain that nearly killed our saint. And while I cant stay here to protect this grave always, I do try to make it back to put it back together.” 

Ruby slowly nodded as her heart slowed with each breath. “Why… why do people think I- er… think she killed Penny?” 

“Depends on the version of the story you hear. Some say she turned on Penny, some versions have her as some sort of creature called a grimm. Either way, the only thing the stories have in common is that this grave is empty. Whether she scattered to the wind, evaporated into smoke, or buried somewhere else doesnt matter. But none of that matters. Its all legends anyway.” 

“Then why did you bring me here?” 

“You looked like you could use a quiet place and nowhere is quieter than here. Most people avoid it thinking its cursed.” 

Ruby stood up and made her way to the cliff’s edge and sat down, listening to the sounds of the waves below her crash into the cliff side. She closed her eyes and laid down just like she would when she was younger, letting her mind clear. A moment to relax in the quiet as she let go of her fears and worries.

[witchersmistress]

Simmering Rage

Hello my darlings!! you are in luck today!! ive got a couple of chapters for you, typing this out on a cellphone wasnt the best but i made do with what i had.

Trigger Warnings: Anger, Rage, Blood and violence, and self hatred

Word count:4.3 K

August pov

 My phone chimes with a notification on the seat beside me. I check the screen. Lo again. I haven’t seen her since my car . After I found out what Harper did, I was in a bad place for a while. I don’t remember much of the rest of the mission. The monster operated in my place, holding space for me until I was ready to come back. When the mission l ended, and I had time to think things through, I stopped thinking about what Harper had done and finally looked at the facts behind it. Of course, my mind went straight to the one person who could have told her about Hockington—Gloria Walton.

They’d gotten close, thanks to me, and I fucking paid for it. For letting a Darling into my life, letting her get in with my friends. That’s what I get for letting anyone close to me. Still, it’s a dick move on my part not to at least give Lo a chance to defend herself. If she wasn’t the one who told Harper, I cut her off for nothing. Harper could have bribed someone who worked there, seen me leaving with someone and tracked her down, rooted through my stuff or Dad’s when she was at our house and somehow put it together. It’s better this way, though. Better not to have anyone around me who knows shit about my life. When Lo found out about room 504, it felt safer to keep her close, to give her a reason not to tell anyone. Even if we never talked about it, never talked about our families the way I did with Harper or any real shit, our friendship was real. 

But letting people into my life is a mistake. People blackmail and betray. And if it was her, if she told Harper… Well, Preston can fucking have Gloria. When my phone rings a minute later, I sigh and pick it up. We can talk once. Just to clear some things up. I’m not going to give her a ride anywhere, like I used to when she didn’t have gas money. My car smells like a swamp from all the times I’ve dropped my muddy boots and rubber coveralls in here this summer. Gloria would ask questions, and I’m not about to answer. “Hey,” she says. “I figured you’d ghost me again.” “What’s up, Lo?” I ask, my voice sounding weary. “Do you use the OnlyPics app?” “No,” I say flatly, bristling at the insinuation. “Why would I?” “That’s not—I didn’t mean you’d put stuff up.” “Why?” I ask. “You don’t think people would pay to see my dick?” “No!” she says quickly. “I mean, they would, if you wanted to put it up. That’s not why I was asking, though.” “So, you don’t want to see my dick? That’s not how I remember it.” I’m being an asshole, but she’s basically calling me a whore. She knows better than to ask if I use an app that’s basically a sex worker platform. I don’t get paid for sex, and I don’t need to sell pictures of my body for money. The OnlyPics app was supposed to be a companion to OnlyWords, which is a texting app with, as its name implies, only words in the messages. Everyone likes OnlyWords, but it has no photo sharing capabilities. So the same company made OnlyPics but it was basically a knock-off Instagram where you can’t use captions and the hashtags are hidden, only used by the algorithms to know who to show them to. It probably would have died a quick death if it weren’t for the sex worker industry, who cashed in on three key features—the ability to add a link to profiles, where they added their payment link; the fifteen-second video limit, which let them put up teases to get people hooked; and the private chat feature, which let them send someone the rest of the video for whatever fee they wanted to negotiate or even video chat for a live show.

 I don’t use the app because I’m not an amateur porn star, and if I want to watch porn, I can do it for free like everyone else. If I need a live feed, I have a phone full of numbers of chicks who would be happy to put on a show for me, and I can do more than watch and jerk off. I’m not interested in that any more than I am this app. “Okay, let’s try this again,” Gloria says. “You remember how Harper  disappeared off the face of the earth when you dumped her?” I stiffen in my seat, yanking the wheel to pull off at the nearest exit at the last second. The car behind me lays on the horn, but I ignore it. The noise is almost drowned by the pounding of blood in my ears. “Yeah, what about it?” I ask Gloria. “Well, I think I found her.” “On a porn site?” I ask, hoping like hell someone just uploaded the video of her sucking someone’s dick from last year. It fucks with my head to think that one year ago today, I didn’t even know the name Harper Avery. It was another month before I would see her giving head in the parking lot behind the tampon factory. “Hey, don’t judge me,” Gloria says. “Your brothers have been out of town all summer, and you’ve been ignoring me. I’m having a dry spell.” I could tell her the twins are back, but if she ran her mouth to Harper, I don’t want her around my house, running her mouth to my brothers. So I point out the obvious. “There are more than three dicks in this town.” “Once you go Walker, you never go back,” she says lightly. “And anyway, I only saw it because she sent it to Dawson.” I’m glad I pulled over at the exit, because I’d probably run someone off the road right now if I were still driving. I grip the steering wheel with one hand and close my eyes. My voice comes out so normal you’d think I was just a guy who dumped a girl and didn’t give a fuck about what happened to her since. “I’m afraid to ask, but… Does your brother always share porn with you?” “No, you weirdo,” she says. “Someone DM’d him, and I’ve been obsessing about her all summer, so he showed it to me. He thinks it’s funny as shit.” “Why are you obsessing about Harper?” I demand. 

What the fuck. Maybe I should have kept in touch with Lo. She could find out shit, maybe even the truth. “I don’t know,” she says. “Don’t you think it’s weird that she just… Vanished? I mean, I’m not saying you’re not worth going off the deep end over, or that you couldn’t eviscerate her heart so completely she could never love again. She liked to play it cool, but she really loved you, August. Like, the kind of love that eats you alive, and you’re never the same again.” “Put that shit on a ninety-nine cent Valentines card. You could make real money.”

“Keep playing, you didn’t feel it, too,” she says. “But y’all broke a lot of hearts when you broke up, not just your own. Everyone figured you’d get back together.” “What’s your point?” I snap. I don’t need a fucking lecture about how much I disappointed everyone. She can add it to my fucking tab for all the times I fucked up and pissed off everyone who matters. “My point is, even if Harper was devastated beyond repair, she’s not the kind of chick who would let a breakup destroy her. She’s stronger than that. You may be irreplaceable even to her, but you’re still a boy. And it would take more than one boy to break Harper.” Maybe not one boy. But one boy who shared her with two more against her will? A broken hand and a rope she couldn’t get free of, a swamp full of snakes more poisonous than her? Yeah. That could do it. “Then it obviously had nothing to do with me,” I say. “Maybe she got hooked on Lady Alice or Pearl Lady or whatever the fuck they’re calling it now, and she’s selling herself to pay for it like a regular junkie. Hell, her mom basically said as much.” “It did blow up the scene right around that time…” Gloria muses. “Maybe she’ll tell you for the right price,” I say flatly. “That’s all she’s ever cared about.” “August…”

 “What?”

 “Look, I don’t know everything that went down between you, but I know what it’s like to walk away from love. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your heart wasn’t decimated, too.” My laugh is brittle, like stepping on glass. “You’re funny, Lo.” I could ask her, just come right out and be blunt, like King. But I can’t acknowledge that much aloud. The hotel is its own world. When we leave, we don’t mention what goes on there. I don’t tell the school that Gloria is a scholarship kid. I elevated her. And she never tells anyone that I get a room there every few months. Would she risk telling someone, knowing she could lose it all? Even if she hates me, she loves her status too much to risk it. What would make her turn on me like that? Harper didn’t tell that creep where she found out the information. But it has to be Lo. No one else knows. So, I hung up the phone, letting her think this is about a breakup.

 That it’s not about a murder, not about a girl coming back from the dead, a ghost dragging her broken body from the swamp and crawling back into my brain to fuck with it even more. I open my email, the one connected to the OnlyWords and OnlyPics apps by default because it’s all made by the same company. I barely remember thumbing away the automatic notifications I got when someone sent me a message this summer. I ignored them all, knowing they were porn spam. My chest is hollow as I open one from my spam folder. It tells me I have twenty-four new messages on OnlyPics. I follow the link and open my direct messages. The first one is a thumbnail of a video, sent this evening. If it’s from Harper, she changed her handle from BadApple. For a few seconds, all I see is a closeup of part of her tattoo. I take it in, examining it until I realize it’s her hip crease, and pressed along the back of her thigh, an expanse of pale skin. It takes me a minute to make sense of what I’m seeing. Whoever she’s fucking, he’s got her folded in half like her legs are over his shoulders while he nails her into the bed. There’s no caption, and there are no words even on the messenger, so I have to click on the profile to find an explanation. Apple Cream Pie, $1k/min. Time seems to skip. Some caveman part of me must take over, because the next thing I know it’s five minutes later, and I’m five thousand dollars lighter, and I’m slamming my phone against the top of the steering wheel over and over. I feel it crunch and snap, but I keep pounding it until there’s nothing left in my hand, and the pieces of it are scattered across my lap and the floor. Time skips again. I’m in my driveway at home. Blood is dripping down the steering wheel and into my lap. 

I open my hand and find pieces of glass jutting from my palm in a dozen places. And all I think about is that day my car was bombed, and Harper tried to pick the glass from my face with her tiny, careful fingers. I climb out of the car. There’s a black Jaguar parked on the gravel, a tall figure leaning against it. I walked up to him. Something in me seems to have been knocked loose, and I think I might fucking kill him, even though it’s just Oliver Finnegan, who never goes inside. He doesn’t approve of the family business. “Hullo, August,” he says, his Irish accent distorting the words. Or maybe it’s the ringing in my ears. “Am I in your spot? I can move the car.” “Don’t worry about it.” He cocks his head, his weird, pale eyes taking in the blood on my pants, my hand. “You alright, mate?” I shrug and head for the house. Just as I’m about to step inside, his brother steps out, a black duffle in one hand, probably full of cash or those fucking pearls everyone’s on about. Colin Fucking Finnegan. My eyes narrow, my fists clenching until I can feel the glass biting deeper, piercing through my skin and into the muscle and sinew. “Was it you?” I grind out. Part of me knows it’s impossible, but maybe he sent the photo on his way here, or maybe he took it earlier. I need Baron to find the date signature on a video, if it’s even possible. For all I know, Harper’s dead, and she took those videos herself while we were together. If she’d sell my dignity for a scholarship, why wouldn’t she sell videos of herself fucking 2other guys when she was with me? “Whatever it was, I bet it was me,” Colin says, flashing me a knowing grin that shows off his chipped front tooth. “Are you still sore about that beating you took last spring?” “You know what it’s about.” “If it’s not that, you’re pissed you didn’t get a cut of this,” he says, jiggling the bag. “Don’t fucking push me right now,” I warn. His creepy eyes go smug. “Or… You still on about that whore? I figured that’s what set you off last spring. Everyone in town knows I fucked her first. Are you just finding out?” “Where is she?” I demand, grabbing him around the neck and slamming him up against the wall. “Where the fuck do you have her, you cum guzzling, festering wad of infected dick cheese?” A cocky, defiant grin stretches his lips. “Aww, did you catch something off her?” he asks. “Wasn’t me, mate. I popped that cherry when there were barely three hairs on her pussy. Haven’t touched her since.”

I don’t know exactly what happens next. I don’t see Colin Finnegan in front of me anymore. All I see is red. The next thing I know, my brothers and Dad are holding me down on the steps, and Oliver and their uncle are holding Colin back while he curses and struggles and spits. The white gravel is painted red like the day the Darlings vandalized our house, but this time, it’s blood. “Let me up,” I growl, shoving off the step and wrenching free of my family. I stalk toward Colin, who writhes like a cat getting a bath. I can feel blood trickling down my face, the jagged edges of a few broken teeth, and the throb of one eye that’s already swelling shut. But I don’t feel pain. The other thing that lives inside me has swallowed it, and I can’t feel a thing. “Come on,” Colin yells, dancing in the grip of his brother. “Let’s do it again. I can go all night. Whoo! I feel alive!” I stop in front of him, ignoring my brothers, who have rushed up behind me to grab me if I lose my shit again. But I’m calm now. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I say to Colin. My lip is broken and swollen so thick my words come out slurred. “If I find out you’re the one who sent those videos, you won’t be alive much longer.” I turn and walk inside. I don’t know why I care. I watched two guys fuck her. I gave them permission. I made sure to watch, so I knew I could never want her again, never think she was mine. I broke her on purpose, but piece by piece, I’m the one falling to pieces.

Harpers POV

“Are you Mr. D?” I demand, standing in the Phantom’s bedroom, my whole body quaking. I hold the tag in between my finger and thumb, waving it at him. He just walked out of the shower, his body all steamy, a towel around his hips, mask over his face. He shrugs. “What about it?” Anger seethes through me. “That’s how you knew where I was that night. Isn’t it?” He opens his dresser and pulls out his underwear. I know where he keeps them. I know where everything in his apartment is. But I didn’t know his name, have never seen his face. I come when he calls, practically live here two days a week, like a goddamn whore. He promised he’d fuck me one day, and now he has. I don’t know why it matters suddenly. I never cared before. He nods vaguely toward the windows. “I keep an eye on things.” “On me,” I say, sinking onto the edge of the bed. “You keep an eye on me.” “I told you, I can be anyone you want me to be,” he says with a haughty little smirk. “As long as you’re you, Miss A.” “As long as I’m August’s fuck toy,” I correct him. “That’s why you take those pictures, isn’t it? To send to him and show him what you’ve done to me.” “What I’ve done to you?” he asks, turning to face me after pulling on a pair of sweats. They hang low on his narrow hips. Above them, the ridges of his abs are carved deep and sharp. His body is a finely chiseled sculpture. I’ve never noticed, but he’s beautiful, even without a face. “What about what he did?” He paces forward, stalking, his voice laced with fury that makes me shrink back on the bed, as if he could hurt me more than I’ve been hurt. As if he could take something from me that he hasn’t been taking all along. “You changed me,” I whisper. “I saved you.” I stare up at him, feeling guilty for feeling anything but gratitude. He works out, takes care of himself, wears exquisite clothes to work at his standing desk with three monitors, an ergonomic keyboard, and a fancy Mac computer. I’m the one who should be ashamed. I don’t take care of myself until he tells me to. He tells me to shower, puts me in fancy clothes, makes me look like a girl who could be, in some fairytale in his mind, deserving of him. And he treats me like I am.

 He cooks me fancy dinners and buys me everything I need or could want without me having to ask. He even took care of my mother. I don’t treat him half as well. I don’t cook or offer to help clean up. I don’t even talk to him when I come over. While he cooks, I sit curled on his fine leather sofa, sipping his fine wine. The only thing I do for him in return for everything he’s done is spread my legs. If he’s made me a whore, I’ve let him do it. The first day he bought me something, the phone, I could have said no. But I didn’t. I let him dress me up like a doll, treat me like property, and fuck me like a whore. If anything, he’s shown me he values me more than I value myself. He bought me fucking diamonds. A girl like me, I have no right to even hope for this kind of man, this kind of treatment. I’m lucky to be his whore. But for the first time in months, I want to speak, to voice my desires. “You’re right,” I say. “You’ve treated me well. But I’m done being your whore.” “You’re not—” He breaks off, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. That’s not how I see you, Harper.” “How do you see me?” He stares at me a long moment. “I just wanted to take care of you,” he says at last. “I saw what they did to you. You’re not the only person…” He shakes his head again. “And yeah, I wanted to fuck you to piss off August. I’ll admit that. But I never saw you as a whore. I only gave you what you needed.” “Like these?” I ask, upturning the jeweler’s bag. The box falls out, the lid askew, one of the diamonds dangling out the side like something obscene. “Fair enough,” he says, moving across the room and sitting heavily on the bottom of the bed. “Maybe I had selfish reasons. But I never thought you owed me.

 I know you won’t believe me. I know what I look like. You think I can’t get laid unless I buy a girl diamonds. And you’re right.” “What about your girlfriend?” I ask, my voice thick. He scoffs. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Look at me.” “So you dressed me up and pretended you did,” I say, feeling like some weird blow-up doll. I’ve acted like one. I haven’t been a whole person since before the swamp. I’ve been a doll, broken into a million pieces, and he’s pieced some of them back together—at least on the outside. But he can’t fix me inside. He can reach in, but he won’t find anything to piece back together. I’m hollow. “I never pretended to be a good guy,” he says. “Don’t act shocked that I’m exactly who I was all along.” “But you never told me who you were,” I point out. “You never asked.” “I did.” We sat side by side for a while, neither of us speaking. “You don’t want to know who I am,” he says. “Look at me. Look at what I’ve become.” I could say the same thing. 

 When I tell Mr. D I’m not coming back, he doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t get ready to take me home as usual. I ask if he’s taking me home, and he says no, but he doesn’t stop me when I take his keys. I keep waiting for him to come after me, but he just studies me, his face behind that infuriating blank mask, his one good eye watching me leave. In the garage, I climb into his truck. I’m sure he’s going to come down and stop me. My hands are shaking so hard I can barely get the key in. I open the garage on the bottom level of his building, and I drive out. I keep checking the rearview, sure I’ll see him coming after me. But he lets me go. Some sick part of me deflates when I turn into my driveway and he’s not there. Not even Mr. D thinks I’m worth hunting down. I climb out of the truck and go inside. Nothing has changed. But everything has. Without the Tuesday and Thursday excursions, I stop leaving the house. I ignore the staff that comes in and cleans my house on a weekly basis. I don't care where they came from or who hired them.

 There’s no point. I Don't even return his truck. It sits like an oversized monster in our driveway, drawing attention from anyone and everyone. I hide the keys inside a tear in my box spring, I sleep with a switchblade in one hand for the nightmares that plague my every waking moment, as if my fall from grace has given them permission to terrorize me, maybe they can smell my brokenness, my weakness, the way I can smell alcohol on Duke’s breath. And even though I was sure I felt nothing all those months, now that I don’t see the Phantom, there’s an ache left inside me that he once soothed. 

When I wake myself up croaking feebly, from a dream where I’m gagged, silenced as I try to force sound from my strangled throat, there are only blankets to wrap around me instead of his strong, salient arms. I stop leaving the house, stop doing anything. I can’t remember why it mattered to be clean, to eat, to live. One evening, as I’m lying corpse like in my bed, a tap sounds at my grimy window. I’m so startled I sit up before my brain can kick in and say what it says about everything—it’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter. Turning my head I see a crow pecking at the shiny part of my window. Standing up and making my way into the bathroom, I turn on the lights avoiding the mirror. I don't want to look at the girl in the mirror. I just can't.Turning on the hot water in the sink letting it fog up my mirror, I scoop the water with my hands and splash it on my face.

  I know I should care but I can't summon the energy. My sponsor is gone. There’s no way out. I’ve given up, accepted the fact that I’ll be just like my dead beat mother. Turning off the water and raising my head, reluctantly I look back at my reflection, I meet my soulless eyes and stare. I should want to rage against this weak girl that I've become, to become the monster those boys wanted me to be.. Turning off the lights and walking back to my room. Dropping back down into bed, I looked out the grimy window and let out a deep sigh, I can't stay like this broken doll. But I just don't care anymore..

A while  later, lying in my bed, I think maybe it’s time I did.

[blueiight]

i need someone to write reinhard & hilda’s first time cuz its canonly the funniest shit ever. reinhard being confronted w his moral turning point when a survivor of the westerland incident confronts him. n its like ud think hed think of all his evils? nope. he thinks about how his dead waifu got murked as a result, gets drunk & boohoos. the blood of kircheis is the wine he spills on his hands💔 and hilda is like welll since kircheis isnt here. may as well give my boss sympathy pussy. its a grim commentary on gender bc this incident eventually spawns hilda being shafted into the kaiserin role in a way she wasnt or wouldnt be rly if kircheis still lived? its like ou man her arc was so much fun before this hilda being the androgynous/masc transgressor of gender roles for noble women in her society n reinhard being her companion in political subterfuge/sabotage of the nobility but bc kircheis is killed hilda has to take the emotional comfort feminized role sieg once occupied n becoming kaiserin is the culmination of that so reinhard& hilda’s relationship is tragic cuz they would be perfect friends but heteronormativity forces them to do this but the immediate moment & aftermath of the failsex is funny cuz its like. hilda is sick to her fucking stomach at giving him sympathy pussy and goes back home n has a breakdown ina shower. reinhard calls up his only married friend & is like shit wtf do i do, shows up w a bouquet& is like i dont wanna be like those NASTY goldenbaums! i must honor this woman& in our society that means MARRIAGE! with the cutest most hilarious anime blush & hilda’s dad is like oh well damn i thought reinhard was the virgin mary (the historical king carl he named). i wonder if these gay ass mfs was able to do it well (literally what he said, albeit poorly paraphrased). like at least yang getting engaged to frederica was cute. like i can believe yang + frederica genuinely like eachother somehow even if freddy’s later arc suffers from the similar struggles hilda’s arc does. but reinhard + hilda is literally a comedy of untold proportions. this isnt ship ‘hate’ i love how pitiful this arrangement is btw.

[cemetery-irises]

i am going insane. woe my hyperfixation amalgamation be upon ye now and forever (yes. pokemon team posts part 1)

now. ive explained norton before but i wanna revise it and sound more legit/put together than i did when i flung this at mach speeds to my friend gold BUT

first off. the toxtricity. as i've said sooo many times norton's born and raised in spikemuth, and he takes pride in it. despite the rundown/dilipadated appearance, the locals are still upbeat and lively, and piers keeps it all kicking. norton has a lot of respect for piers as well-- despite how he's a gym leader, he's in the same situation as the rest of spikemuth, and he's super fair about everything he does. i think while norton was younger he'd help out in the ways he fan. maybe he babysat marnie from time to time! but basically, he holds a lot of pride in his hometown and he has an equal amount of respect for piers despite being older than him (i see piers as about 25 to nortons 28), and he likes showing off what he takes pride in! toxtricities appear to charge attacks by strumming the chords on their chest, resembling the motion one would make playing a guitar :] i decided on the high-amp form since norton is fairly competitive during the battles themself (though he recovers from losses with a lot of grace. its pretty much a hobby to him so he doesnt get too worked up) and also, toxtricity tend to be somewhat arrogant as norton can be :]

ok. okay so. meowth/perrserker. i know the fandom didnt recieve this line very well (i wasnt too fond of it either) but. listen okay. meowth are generally known for collecting coins. the galarian meowth are specifically tougher due to being seafaring companions, and kantonian meowth dont get along with thwm. alolan meowths, who are used to luxurious lifestyles, also don't get along with their galarian counterparts, despite being the same species with little differences. perrserkers also enjoy battles and are competitive :]

corviknight is. kind of a stretch but bear with me. i gave him a rookidee originally for the sake of the new fool's gold accessory for this season, the broken cage, since rookidees have yellow feathers similar to canaries. also as an offhand reference to leave the mines. the corviknight itself symbolizes wanting a change of pace/scenery/environment for similar reasons, since in galar, corviknights are a means of transportation (one of the only ones other than trains or bikes if you dont want to walk) and they can go wherever its desired to.

barboach are cavefish that are local to the galar mines! overall the line just felt fitting </3 ive not much to say on it

the wimpod...... the wimpod is so very dear to me. little bug that scurries around his feet. they're cowardly and also native to galar mines, and i imagine he shooed away some other pokemon that were harrassing it (stunfisk perhaps) and afterwards the wimpod kind of just. followed him around the rest of the day so he caught it. he hypes it up so much and is very encouraging towards it, and it becomes his ace pokemon once it evolved to a golisopod :3

as for the boldore, he's had it since he was a kid. as a roggenrola, it was one of the only things his dad had gotten norton before his death, and norton bonded with it quite easily. despite not wanting to be a rock type specialist like the other workers, he's very attached to it!! overall, he cares a lot about his pokemon and you can really tell how much he loves them and how proud of them he is. he's one of the (arguably) few people who fully realizes how important pokemon are, and how much they've helped shape society since he'd never been someone to take anything for granted.

orpheus deross..... thw only person who could rival bede's bastardness.......

honestly, i wasn't sure what to do with him. i just knew he should be a dragon type trainer because it'd be funny for frederick's fairy type ass to mop the floor wjth him immediately. however! there is reasoning for some of them. actually really just the appletun. norton gives him an applin and he decided to keep it with him + evolve it. also, i think noivern's personality is somewhat like norton's so it'd be funny if orpheus told norton he reminded him of his pokemon once or twice

[lovereveals]

I remember how you answered the door and finally i felt something new about you again.

The busted red door and the slamming screen at your moms.

I now get why you called it your moms, because the woman is what makes the house a home. Not just who pays the majority gets title.

I remember your plants in the sun room crowding the place but thats exactly how you wanted the jungle to run. I see it all now, maybe

not all because ive said that before and theres still new pieces coming back, so fortunately. I

miss how youd explain your ventures to me always inviting me into a mission or a newfound

passion. You always had something for me to do and now i sit here wandering directionless

begging for you to give me something, anything. I think of how i wish i took more time with you

doing anything, sitting in traffic. Waiting for the rain to stop, sitting in the car while the gas

pumped, i wish i knew how to slow down and just let the sun rise with our eyes and appreciate

the day starting with all that you are was is and always will be above anything i could dream up

by myself. You exceeded every expectation i ever heard of, had or dreamed of having and you

still do, I want to go back and open everything to you and be willing to look stupid because i

know thats what you needed, i was too cool when i deserved to let the flame you had awoken

inside me burn in every way so you could experience the love you inspired into me. Back then

we only could feel the sharpest of edges, so i guess thats why we collided how we had because

all we know is how to live in our truths. Im grateful now we have been forged in fire to relearn

how to engage in a forevermore of new ways love dances, rests, runs, works, suffers, laughs,

rests, dreams, reminesises, burns , chills, excites , calms , awakens , rests, breaks , builds,

conquers, surrenders. Explores, awaits, it flys, freefalls , catches , slips , bliss, madness, tragic,

solace, lost, found , light , dark , confusing , enlightening, sickening , healing,

You were the one who made sure i wasnt left alone, outside , stranded and it scared me like a

stray skittish dog treats its loving owner, it suffers for days months even years not understanding

its worth love and so much more beyond the scraps of gestures id been only thrown in the snow

by those who said thats what love was and at the time thats all i knew it to be so i shivered and

starved in every pathetic demoralizing way until you came along Alyvia and not only showed me

what welcome really deserves to be but as the moments passed you proved it only to a deeper

glowing extent, I took it in like like a pet with new food, it made me weazy but i slowly became

accustomed to what the epitome of unconditional love is. You. i should of learned from your love

and embraced it but at the time i had only experienced the fleeting fake half smiled favors titled

love by everyone before you. I had grown accustomed to kindness always coming right before

abandonment and unacceptance. I tiptoed around all that you were because if i was to be

accepted by anyone ever my God i prayed it was you, even though it took me by so much

surprise, it were a pure miracle to hear you wanted me to come inside to meet your dad

because you said he;d like me. When all i expected from you was to use me as a ride from work

and that was enough for me because your presence and everything about you seemed to call

me home to true grace when all i had ever known was the unforgiving ravaging wilderness. I

learned to accept your love via zoey because i had to ease into the gravity and power that one

true loves unexplainabl force generates pushing pulling reverberating in original distinct ways

that left us so overwhelmed we became oblivious skeptiks because you know they explain true

love to crash all at once to be that one feeling like no other.

well from my experience, true love came in to me like the smallest hand on a clock. You dont

notice how bad you needed it until you see a clock that doesn't have seconds ticking and you

realize it may be working but not in the way it was designed to, without that simple missing

piece two ticking hands move but it's simply as if there's no sign of order between them.

A Quiet chaos has always been surrounding entangled in each of our lives and when we finally

crossed physical paths the currents began to intertwine ever so softly at first introduction like

two magnets meeting, we collided at once as if not by our own choices but our hearts magnetic

field retwiring welcoming itself within questions and answers only a divine separation between

death and life can forge a perfect cosmic message.that screams in silence emotions that are not

bound by time.

So we didn't talk. We savored that silence, we could almost taste it, because it felt like the world

stopped that night, we were left alone to the stillness only we alone could fill alone together in

that wide open bar, the city was quiet and vacant for us due to the key that only true love can

loneliness and evil heartless terror i grew up escaping from dodging everything that wasnt to

unlock.

We didn't mean to fit, but we were born destined to engraved on our souls we were given a

mission to find each other. It was always my only driving force and beacon of hope in the

lead my path to my beloved.

Subject =

Some memories i couldnt just let fly away yet

[barkbarkboy]

its taken me a WHILE to think of any interesting lore lol

- i had to save my sister once when she was really little. she took off her gloves, touched the snow for too long, and started getting a lot of pain in her hands, and the fastest way to get her to warmth was to pick her up and carry her home. we had a huge backyard so imagine carrying like a small 4-6 year old human across a huge field of snow thats at Least 3 ft deep. she had frostbite but i managed to get her inside in time to warm up her hands. she caught pneumonia a while later i'm not sure if it was related.

- i'm the only one in my family who WASNT taken to the hospital regualrly for medical issues. my brother basically lived there (born with a cleft palete and asthma, so, yeah), my sib had asthma and knee issues (their knee would dislocate randomly based on the smallest activity), and my sister had asthma, split her head open and had to get it glued shut, and shes a horse girl now so she goes pretty regualrly to check if she broke this or that. so far every single injury hasnt been worse than a sprain thank god. also my mom and dad both have so many medical problems its insane. i was supposed to be the "normal" one with no problems. needless to say, the only "doctors" i've seen regularly are counsellors for "therapy".

- i have a huge attachment to plushies of animals because i love animals so much i want all of them but i cant have all of them </3 so a stuffie will do. my nanna used to work at a hershey factory in our hometown and they had free reese's and hershey beanie babies for us for easter and stuff :)

- i learned what gay peoole were due to mean girls (2004), i basically saw 2 girls kissing in the background (unsure if this is actually in the movie or i made it up) and i asked my mom why they were kissing, and she said sometimes girls kiss each other! and i remembered telling her that i was definitely someone who liked girls and wouldnt mind kissing them. YEEEARS later (despite having memory problems) she recalled this and found out i had a girlfriend in high school, which is how i ended up coming out. because of this, everyone automatically assmes i'm a lesbian even though i've told them i'm bisexual like 600 million times since then.

- (fucking obviously) i grew up going to catholic school from kindergarten to 6th grade. not because my parents are super religious, just, there were rules about which schools we were allowed to go to. my dad's side was catholic and my mom's side was assimilated into catholocism, but eventually broke away. my great aunt does geneology and traced back our ancestors to native roots, so she basically went from catholic to following native teachings immediately. we were taken to pow wows since i could remember, so, we definitely had it better than they did. despite the whities trying to take our culture from us, we're still here <3 still sharing our language and stories and music.

- i was raised by the tv and computer. quite literally. i had an incident when i was younger that caused my dad to distrust people, so i wasnt allowed over at friend's houses or to hang out with them unless they knew them super super well. because of this, i tried to understand social interaction through tv shows like dawson's creek and charmed. on the internet i would watch smosh and... (sigh) sh*ne d*wson and dan and phil and would treat it more like an entertaining break. i swear i was on the family computer for so long sometimes my dad would tell me to go to bed 900 times and i'd stay on until at LEAST 1 or 2 in the morning talking to the friends i made over the internet that i wasnt allowed to have in real life. those friends actually helped me learn how to talk to people like a normal human being!! i'm greatful to them every day and i still talk to them all the time ^_^

- i pretended to hate girly stuff when i was a kid to overcompensate my masculinity, but theres so many "girly" things i really like! i really liked playing house, i really liked playing with baby dolls, i really liked sundresses and nail polish and stuff, i just never liked when all that made me a "girl" according to others, and i didnt realize that was why at the time. egg moment 🥚🏳️‍⚧️

theres way more fhat may or may not be interesting but ^^; i think thats enough for now

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[indigo474]

sometimes I wish Madison had a relationship with her dad- when she needs someone and i can't be there. for a few minutes I think it would be great if she could call him- maybe he would know what to do or at least know what to say to her to make her feel better. I actually think this is how it would go if she was able to call him. fantasy- pure fantasy on my part to even think he could add anything positive to any situation. he never could and he never did. a shitty situation for Madison- we had to have a talk today. I missed my workout -she was having a hard time dealing with life,so I came home. the 1st time in 2 years I cancelled a workout with James. I wasnt sure what Madison wanted or needed because she wouldn't or couldn't tell me. I was sad and angry on my drive home. I wanted to be mean to her. I wanted to tell her to grow up and let her know how she ruined my night. I wanted to, but didnt- because she's just a kid trying her best and life is hard enough.love is kind. we talked and talked and talked and everything is figure it out able. she does this thing where she makes me feel guilty for being at work- we had to talk about that- my job is important to me-a priority- not to mention it pays the bills. I have to be there. she expressed to me how having only me sucks- the situation sucks- I agree. it sucks- it is what it is and it could be worse. lately I've been setting boundaries with her and my time. I've been trying to be intentional with my time all around- I can get lost in the day - I could dilly dally the whole day away. its kind of weird.

the ice queen showed up today- I am in Christmas mode at work- i've been making christmas tree ornaments at my desk- for 3 days now- glitter and glue- no one has said anything to me. not my super not her super- no one. I check my email once an hour and answer the phone when it rings. The ice queen comes to my desks and asked me if I have a minute- umm yeah I have a minute, let me finish putting green glitter in this palm tree I just printed and cut out. She tells me to meet her in her office. ghetto rep hears this because she hears everything- are you ok? are you in trouble? why would I be in trouble? for all I know she's going to offer me a promotion. and that is how I am living my life- me being in "trouble" isn't even in the realm of possibilities. I refuse to let my mind think for even a minute that I could be called into her office for anything other than good news- and I was right- bigger bonus this year. my mind use to think of the worse possible outcome- not anymore. I have every reason to believe good things are happening or will happen to me.

i should have also taken into consideration the fact that Madison needed to sleep.

[golden-bubblebee]

Supernatural season 5 pt 2

SUPERNATURAL IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENVE????

Okay I am not liking this

Why are they clapping and cheering during my show this isnt a comedy they dont belong here. Shoo!

And so saturated omfg help

I WANT MY DESATURATED TRAUMA CHANNEL BACK

No okay I accept the intro song that is ADORABLE

The way theyre laughing at the startling and face wiping

Im sorry we are to believe thid guy is straight???? (Dean)

Like my guy was having full on gay panick

DEAN THE GIRLS MOTHER IS STANDING NOT EVEN 3 FEET FROM YOU

Nah thats not lucifer. Thats a different demon100%

Okay so it was lucy

Obsessed with them trying to get Sam in a psych ward so he just tells the truth

You bet they rock paper scissored this, and Dean, for once, did not use scissor

OH MY GOD DEAAAN

'You see what I mean doctor, he's being beating himself up over this for months. The apocalypse wasn’t -his- fault'

IRMA CANCEL MY LUNCH

The relationship you have with your brother seems dangerously codependant

WORD

I love this doc

Though I love him as a telly doc, not sure how convinced I am of his practices as a real psych doc

They classify Dean as a narcisist?

Oh my god it's here, the iconic scene

The little jiggle jump makes it so much worse

NOT THE FLOPPY NOISES

Flopflopflop

Mary is sending all the signals she wants sam and dean out and john is just plain igboring her

Its absolutely wild being in a fandom where you get sentences like 'Im only at season 8'

Okay we need to talk about Dean continuesly opening beer bottles with his bare hands

DEAN

TAKING OFF THE GLOVES ONLY HAS POINT WHEN YOU TAKE OFF BOTH

Okay

He clicked one button

And one beep was sounded

So: Dean has cas on speed dial

CASS WEAR SOME GLOVES

CHERUBS ARE NOT INCONTINENT

Oh my god cass what.

He stole deans burger

Please tell me theyve been cupid'd togheter

Oh my god thats a grown man

That's a naked grown ass man

I think its a new horseman (not the cherub)

Is there one for gluttony/lust?

SAM WDYM 'I COULD SMELL YOU'

New new theory

The briefcase is pandoras box and theyre meant to open it

It was a horseguy!!

THATS WHAT YOU CALL 'LOCKED DOWN GOOD'??? A pair of cuffs????

At least give the man entertainment so he can think of something else

He isnt gonna have a soul is he

Fucking called it

But what the fuck what the fuck

Spn: has a character watch a docu abt wildebeests so the audio can line up with the real events (it then closes in to the kill etc)

Also spn: shows us a screen several times of what is most definitely not a wildebeest

BOBBY THESE ARE YOUR KIDS

'And who actually are you?'

'A friend of bobby singers'

'The town drunk?'

'I thought he was the town drunk? (Sam points at other guy)

'And who told you that?'

'Ehm. ... bobby singer'

Dean canonically sleeps with his hand on his gun and thats both to be expected and deeply sad

WOW WTF

What a way to start an episode, just straight up killing the man

Dean death count: 109

Sam slaughter count: 2 (I think)

Deans heaven is literally innocent sam and the impala

IT WASNT PERFECT UNTIL AFTER SHE DIED (the marriage between John and Mary)

And from the grown ass naked man cherub we know that they hated eachother before God meddled

I NEVER REALISED HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN CLEANING UP DADS MESSES

No no no no crying

This is the face of a boy who got beaten to shit for that (letting sam run away)

No I dont like this episode

Sams heaven is filled with Deans trauma

Its all about him being away from them

And Deans heaven is being with him

HAJAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAA

'Wow! Running from angels! On foot! IN HEAVEN! With thinking like that I'm surprised you boys haven't stopped the apocalypse already!'

ASH OH MY GOD

"You boys die more than anyone ive ever met''

I love how aware spn is of the spn death phenomena

When I tell you I actually screamed

Im out of images so there will be a pt3

[onmymasa22]

U know what im doing? Im making a decision to the next decision. Thats it. Thats all i can do. One decision to the next. I decided to go to art school. It brought me great friemds and learning about myself and growth. Enoah brought me passion for old people with special needs. I dated guys, i stopped dating guys. Just one decision to the next. I just go with it. Thats my theory. I cant jusge ur decisions, so stop judging mine.

Just make a decision to the next decision.

Do things that way.

Stop being so ypughe. Ur hurting, its obvious. But what if fhe ppl around u were hurting just like u. What majes u think u were the only one who was hurting. Everyone is hurting, maybe more than u, maybe less than u. Ur nor the judge tho. U have no idea ehats going on in other pples lives. But u deserve kindness wnd they

Ill be like a real person in the world. Have an apartment i can live in year round. Be apart of everything. Do everything.

Why is it that when u have adhd, growing up ur way more mature than everyone ur age, and yet when u grow up, ur way less mature than everyone ur age...

Really cute story on how my parents met before actually meeting:

My mom went to Neve Jerusalem in the early 80s. She saw an article for the "brother school" to Neve, Ohr Sameach in 1983 and kept it. Exactly 10 years later, she was set up with my dad, they fell madly in love in three dates, and got married. When my mom moved her crap from New York City to Chicago, my father opened a box and saw this article and picture. He showed it to my mom and was like "look!" She was like "oh my gosh, those are guys from Ohr Sameach, do you know any of them?" My dad was shocked and he said "that's me in the middle!" So yah, my mom held onto a photo of my dad ten years before they met in real life... crazy.

Something i wish i couldve told younger me: thanks to your adhd, right now u are way more mature than kids ur age, ur spending so much energy on just trying to be normal and not bother anyone, so having friends is difficult. When you become an adult, though, u will be way less mature than people ur age. And that isnt an insult. Once you know and accept who u r, you will be just a sequin of a girl. You will forever be young in your heart and mind. And that will attract the best people and the best experiences. So for now, know it can be hard, but u will live an extraordinary life.

I just wanted to tell u, u asked me what changed from the forst year to right then at the end of the third year. And i have a better answer now. At the end of the first year, our teacher meir applefeld gave us an assignment to draw.

Hi, sorry this might be a megillah, but i just need to get it all out. At the end of this past year, shai azulai spoke to us. He asked us to do a drawing and i finished quickly and so he came over and talked to me for a few minutes till others finished. He asked me what i felt my first year vs how i fekt now. I didnt really know what to answer other than that in the first year, everything was new. At the end of this past year, i dont know why, but ive become obsessed with painting trees. Rachel keeny gave us a watercolor class and i had a hard time in the etching class with dalia, and i was emotional and started painting lines and then just started painting trees from my mind with black ink. I remember in the first year, u asked us to make a landscape. It felt impossible. I thought- ask me to draw an apple that i have infront of me, awesome, a table, fine. But ask me to draw something from my mind, to completely make it up? I had no idea how, and i was scared of my own mind. But two years later, its not as scary. So this painting waited two years. I think i just wasnt ready. I needed more time to bake. But now, im a day or two from finishing

I feel sad. I feel like the whole world is spreading negative energy. I feel negative myself

Maybe today ill just paint trees.

Cuz thats wyat ill do when im sad.

Ill paint trees.

If you're crying today, you are not alone.

If you're saddned today, you are not alone.

If you feel numb to the pain today, you are not alone.

If you feel relief today that these people aren't suffering anymore, you are not alone.

If you're going to a funeral, you are not alone.

If it's too much for you to be at a funeral and you just need to hug yourself today, you are not alone.

If today your life goes on pause and you are having trouble doing anything, you are not alone.

If you smile and laugh and live your best life today because you need to, you are not alone.