#but my brain still immediately makes the association because of the colors

[sonknuxadow]

im such a fake ass fan i dont even know what game this guy is from and every time i see him im briefly like ? shard ?

[nowritingonthewall]

Hello Chrissie! I hope that your day is going wonderfully well. I was curious, what season and color remind you most of Oscar, either him specifically or perhaps a character you really associate him with. 😁

Hello dear Nonnie, I hope you’re having the loveliest of days, too 🥰

I really love this kind of questions that take my brain to see places I’ve never really thought about 😊

Sooo… I would probably go for late Summer/early Autumn? Mostly because he appears to be such a warm and lovely person 🥺 You know that period (that has currently already begun in some places on this planet) where you can still feel the warmth of summer but it isn’t too scathingly hot anymore, while there is also that fresh breeze of air but it isn’t too cold yet? That’s the one. And it’s perfect to display his amazing sweater collection in the morning and in the evening 😁 And the hues would be bright but soft orange and ocre. Not too migraine-inducingly yellow and not too raging red. 

(This season will also always remind me of him because that’s when I discovered and watched myself through his complete filmography four years ago.)

And of course, the same kind of goes for Poe, too (because he will always be the first character I think of whenever I think of Oscar). Our wonderful flyboy has so much warmth to give, but despite all of his passion it’s a gentle, caring and loving warmth in soft orange-y hues. The soft feeling that you get when you look into his warm brown eyes and immediately feel like you have just been given a loving hug. Of course there is blindingly yellow heat and raging red anger, but those destructive powers are never intentionally aimed at the ones he cares about.

At the same time I feel like the violet-blueish colours of the night sky are very much Poe, too 🥺 We know that the stars are his home and where his heart lies. But instead of the endless vastness of space that might even feel threatening, Poe somehow manages to make those dark and blue hues feel inviting and safe 🥺

I feel like some sort of duality can also be applied to the Moon Boys? Somehow I always associate them with the darkish blue and violet colours of the Duat, but in all those scenes there are also hopeful spots of orange and yellow light? Like there is the harsh and ice-cold Winter of Marc’s pain and trauma but there are also glimpses of Spring with the promise of healing and new beginnings?

I hope my thoughts didn’t come across as to much all over the place 😆I would love to hear your thoughts on this, too 🥰

[aliceinclockland]

Cardcaptor Magicians and their Ceremonial Clothings

Welcome to Episode one of my random Cardcaptor Blabberings (or blabblecaptor— it's a working tag title), a "series" where I talk about random Cardcaptor things without doing that much deep diving because I hate too much research.

Since I'm notorious for starting things and not being consistent to the point of not even continuing what I started, let's see how this one goes. 😆 I'm also bad at words so wish me luck.

I'd like to start this off by saying 2 things:

this all started because I saw Sakura's pointy hat and got reminded by Kaito's ceremonial robe... then got reminded of Eriol's robe right after.

this isn't a serious analyzation of their outfits, given the reason i wanted to blabber about this is their pointy hats. also I'm more of a Nadeshiko when it comes to fashion: so far from the word 💀

Lastly, take this as a silly post while I try to learn how Tumblr works. I don't want people to use this as a source (or anything similar) because at the end of the day, this is all just silly typings of someone who excels in associating the most random stuff with each other without being able to explain why.

With all of that out of the way, Let's get started!

lold what i said earlier, the moment i saw Sakura's color page in Chapter 74 my mind went straight into Kaito's robe, and when my brain went to remind me of Kaito's ceremonial robe colored page, it immediately went to Eriol, and then started to compare the three, asking myself about their similarities aside from the initial idea of this entire post, the pointy hats.

starting off with the robes, all 3 of them have their attires in the color black. idk why it's like that, but it makes the gold in their clothing shine more i guess 😆

the patterns the clothings have also are (mostly. just in case if there's a part where it's not) symmetrical, visibly seen within the designs on the torso parts (in this case, Eriol & Sakura's chest (?) part, and Yuna D. Kaito's back). I could say it's the magicians' insignia but just in case it's not I'll just say symmetrical symbols 😅

but, surely that's not the only similarities, right?

well, aside from the pointy hats™ and the color scheme & patterns their robes have, I also realized that they're also all powerful magicians~

Eriol is Clow's reincarnation, and according to various Cardcaptor characters, he (Clow) was the most powerful magician to ever exist (but also the most fucked up one as well, i guess.)

Given that Clow's reincarnation were 2 people (he thought he could divide his magical abilities between them), Eriol still (unfortunately) got all of the magic, and most of Clow's memories, literally passing down his title of being the most powerful magician onto Eriol.

This manchild can do lots of things, and his memory of his past life helps him excel in some of everyday skills a "normal child" would struggle with (ie. baking, drawing, sewing, speaking a language, etc). But, no one knows that— not even Sakura until he told her that himself.

also I'd like to point out the fact that despite a lot of his robe's designs were in gold (color, who knows if it's really gold? I don't.), the lining of his outfit is in red.

not sure if Clow's robe is similar (if not the same) or anything but if it is, has his robe been passed down from generations before him? and if so, which side of Clow's family was the robe from?

Yuna D. Kaito is also a powerful magician— in fact, one of (if not the) highest ranks in the Magical Association. (that's the D. in his name— it wasn't his middle name and in fact, Yuna D. Kaito probably isn't his real name) He can do lots of things, but he specializes in Time Magic... which is considered a taboo since you'll get a fucked up alternative world when YOU fucked up using that kind of magic... and also a shorter life-span but let's not delve much into that so this post won't go to the depressing direction 😁

And in regards of his robe, one can argue that the robe isn't really exclusively HIS, since you can see in the picture I've used that there are other people with him wearing the same clothing (assuming it's his clan's) so i suggest burning their headquarters down to ashes to make it YDK's own robe 😆😆

note: a kind friend in the comments pointed out my mistake of associating Yuna D. Kaito and Lilie Shinomoto's clans as one: their clans differ from each other. Yuna D. Kaito's in particular are a congregation of magicians that aren't blood-related and are officially referred to as "Magic Association".

i have no idea what to call his or Lilie's clans yet, but for now I'll refer to those as their respective clans 😅

Now onto the main Protagonist of the series: Sakura Kinomoto. In Tomoyo's words, "The only Cardcaptor in the world"

Started as a girl that had little magic that managed to grew stronger and stronger, then now having one of the abilities Clow had— creating cards (or new magic) on her own.

Though one can argue that she won't be able to do that if Yuna D. Kaito wasn't pulling the strings in the background, keep in mind that Momo said she saw right past Eriol's magic protection [to contain Sakura's magic]. Plus, in the Sakura Arc (where she technically created new cards but under a "template"), Eriol was pulling the strings as well and yet her powers still managed to grow, probably beyond people's expectations.

Her ever-growing power might be hard to control for her, but she's doing her best to utilize it in protecting the ones she cherishes the most.

Now the upcoming argument about Sakura's"ceremonial attire"... well, technically Sakura doesn't have one, and you can't really call that outfit a robe, but most of the details in a ceremonial robe (at least CLAMP's robes) present: the neutral color, the symmetrical design, and the gold lining/design.

I like to consider it her own ceremonial robe— made in a very fitting and unique image of Sakura, that only she will wear.

speaking of different, there are other powerful magicians that doesn't follow the same "ceremonial outfit" pattern so I thought I'd show them too!

here we have the Shinomoto Ceremonial Outfit, worn by the beautiful Akiho Shinomoto in this color page!

sorry about the picture if it's not clean... i tried so hard to find a textless one (same as yuna d. kaito) but unfortunately I couldn't.

now about the details aside from the pointy hat: the neutral color + gold lining & symmetrical detail scheme is there, but the difference with the 1st three and their robe is that the neutral color used with the Shinomotos' were white, as opposed to the first three who used black.

i know you've seen this already but since I'm talking about Lilie here in specifics I'd like to put this here are well: a kind friend in the comments pointed out my mistake of associating Yuna D. Kaito and Lilie Shinomoto's clans as one: their clans differ from each other, and that Lilie's (though only officially referred to as "most ancient magician clan in Europe") clan is blood-related, as opposed to Yuna D. Kaito's.

again, no idea what I'll call their respective clans separately yet, so I'll probably refer to them as their respective clans for now— though i have a few ideas xd

another difference is that the hat may be a bit pointy, but it's not as pointy as the three, and that the hat has three pointy things instead of just one.... okay, maybe not that pointy, but, still pointy 😅

okay that's too many pointy, let's get back on track 😁

the difference is blatantly obvious about this one, and I really can't cross Lilie Shinomoto out from one of the most powerful magicians CCS has ever introduced, since she had strong premonition powers and she was also considered a very powerful magician that's feared within Yuna D. Kaito's Clan. I mean it would take lots of powerful magic to be even able to cross time and dreams for that long just to tell Sakura about the truth in their (now fabricated) timeline?

but i wonder why is their robe different than the others?

we'll get back to that later, if i remember it. 😆

speaking of pointy hats™, you know a magician who doesn't have a pointy hat?

He's none other than Li Clan's next leader and Sakura's most important person, Syaoran Li!

one can never talk about ceremonial outfits without remembering Syaoran's iconic ceremonial outfits! with S because he has two— 1st one (in the pictures) being the original clothing he has, and the 2nd one Tomoyo made for him that was inspired by the one he used to have.

our little wolf is special~ from being Sakura's rival in the Clow Card Arc to being Sakura's most important person? He has learned so much and grew stronger along the way.

now about the details: his clothing doesn't really follow the usual attire pattern: the dominant color of his robe is green, the designs are indeed symmetrical, but the linings are both orange and yellow instead of the usual neutral pallete... his hat also doesn't have a pointy thing on it and instead has a hanging detail on the back.

"what about the attire Tomoyo made for him? it has 2 pointy things!" yeah well you're right, and as much as I gave the effort to add his Clear Card arc ceremonial outfit, I'm realizing now that it's not really an official robe now, is it...

about the clear card ceremonial attire, one can argue the same thing as they thought about Sakura while reading this blabber (if anyone has gotten though this far), "That isn't even a ceremonial ROBE". and you're right, it isn't... since it was Tomoyo's work, inspired from the original one. 😅

so think of it the same way as Sakura— made in the fitting and unique image of Syaoran, that only he could wear.

I guess the main couple of the series have that one as a similarity in regards to this random topic I've thought about. 💚

sooooooo what does this mean? why is his so different than the others?

is he not as powerful as the ones listed?

well. probably.

but he's not entirely powerless— his entire bloodline is directly related to Clow, and in addition, his mother Yelan Li is also a powerful sorceress. So they're powerful.

I mean would the Li Clan even let someone not as powerful as Yelan to be the next in line to lead? Of course not, since being able to have magic and to be able to properly control it are probably some basic requirements to be even considered as a candidate.

But in CCS at the moment, his magic wasn't enough to turn all of the Sakura Cards into those little orbs he kept on his compass. He's even having a hard time converting just one. And if I remember this correctly, he was aided by her mother (by casting the magic he needed in the bears) when he snatched the Sakura Cards from their master.

I'd say he's not as powerful NOW probably because everything happened too fast, and that he didn't have much time to make his magic stronger to get at least within Sakura's power level. Besides, he has lots of potential, and we all know he's a strong one so it's about just a matter of time until he reach his full power.

Now this entire post got me thinking about things as I was typing it.

Mostly they're questions I had to ask, like "okay, now what?" "Why did I do this?" especially because the original plan i had was to only have Eriol, Yuna D. Kaito & Sakura here but I thought I'd be unfair to the Lilie & Akiho, and Syaoran since they both have their own as well...

I really didn't think that one through when I started typing, but the more I think of things to type, the more I asked myself, is the ceremonial clothing an indicator of how powerful you are?

and it's probably a "duh." moment, since the ones who have robes are part of clans AND are also powerful.

(note that Clow was from a union of a European Magician AND an Asian Magician so imo- technically he's still part of BOTH clans, if each of his parents were part of one)

it's probably more of "if you're in an association with lots of other magicians", considering the fact that some of the ceremonial clothings were passed down to the living blood-relative of the family— hence why Sakura doesn't have one and the rest has.

though eriol with that ceremonial outfit can be a bit questionable since he's a reincarnation n stuff, and so far I don't remember ERIOL (capitalized bc I've been linking him to Clow, but I'm talking abt him as JUST him) being part of a clan since he worked independently (as far as I can remember), from what I can recall it was mentioned in the anime that the ceremonial clothing resembled Clow's... correct me if I'm wrong, though.

with the additional input i got from Cinzia (the friend who also pointed out the difference between Akiho's & Yuna D. Kaito's clans),

I also now wonder if the colors used in their robes reflect their intentions? or, since Lilie & Akiho's clan has been around for ages, how long their bloodline has existed?

because if it's the former, then it really won't make sense for Sakura & Eriol (though Eriol is once again, questionable... since his previous body as Clow isn't particularly... good nor he is also evil— at least from my perspective), and the latter makes more sense in general.

another one question i have is the explanation for Meiling's ceremonial clothing? like do they give different styles of ceremonial clothes in the Li Clan based on your gender? your magical abilities? or how closely-related you are to whoever leads the clan? i mean, i know she's an anime-exclusive character but I still want to know because I'm curious...

lastly, i wonder if Nadeshiko has one... since she is also a powerful person (she really doesn't do much sorcery stuff as far as i can remember), though the extent of her magic is unclear like Lilie, it's clear that she's also powerful because she can still do lots of things even after life.

IF you're one of the few people who finished reading this i just want to say thank you, and i hope everything made sense since i am very bad at explaining my thoughts 😭.

I think that's it, my brain is tired now and i want to go back to sleep again so good day to everyone and until next time, if there will ever be a next time 😆

and, cut! ��

[stripedsunhat]

Random collection of things I noticed and immediately overthought while watching Coraline

I got to see Coraline in theatres for its 15th anniversary. It was amazing, if you can find a theatre near you that's playing it Go Watch It IT DESERVES THE BIG SCREEN SO MUCH. But anyway while I was watching it my little hamster brain kept noticing things and then ran around in circles on the drive home. So have some random observations.

I Cannot Eat and I Must Cook

The Other Mother is always cooking.  3 out of the 4 times Coraline goes to the Other world Other Mother is shown actively cooking.  Including after she’s gone full hangry and lost the plot.  The only time she’s not waiting for Coraline is her 3rd visit, and even then there’s a full spread of food waiting for her instead.  By this point my brain was fully spinning in little hamster ball circles thinking about idealized caricatures of mothers always cooking and the traditional jobs a mother’s ‘supposed’ to do.  But then on the drive home, I realized it was way simpler.  Coraline directly asks her real mom why she never cooks right in front of Little Me.  It’s literally just a direct response.

(Also, Other Wybie doesn't eat either, but that's cause his mouth literally can't open.)

Little Me's Fashion Choice

The Little Me doll wears a skirt!  When we first see real Coraline she’s in jeans.  The movie opens with them moving in and Wybie drops off the Little Me doll the next day, so there was no chance to see Coraline in anything other than jeans.  In fact we only see her in a skirt once, and that’s halfway through the movie in the clothes shopping scene.  But the Other Mother still puts Little Me in a skirt.  There’s this cool anniversary segment after the movie, and they showed some of the concept sketches for Coraline and she’s in a skirt in them, so that might be part of why Little Me’s in one, either as a nod or because the doll’s design was finalized before the costumes.  But looking at it through a strictly Watsonian reading, it makes sense that the Other Mother’s idea of proper clothes is more traditional.  She clearly adapts though, since Coraline’s star outfit has pants.

EYES

One of Wybie’s eye’s is bigger than the others.  This is mirrored in Other Wybie.

One of Charlie’s eye’s is higher than the other.  This is not mirrored in Other Father as far as I could tell.

I’ve seen others point out that Other Spink and Other Forcible have white buttons when they’re old and black buttons once they shed their skin and become young, as a reference to how the real Spink and Forcible can’t see well anymore.  But while the Others both get white buttons, only the real Miss Forcible has clouded eyes; Miss Spink’s eyes are still brown.

Coraline and Colors

Coraline’s favorite color is blue.  It’s the color of her hair, her fingernail polish, her comforter, her cyclops squid toy… But despite all this that’s not the color the movie associates with Coraline.  The movie actually associates Coraline with a whole bunch of warm, natural colors, mainly pinkish oranges.  Beyond that, there’s of course her iconic bright yellow rain coat of course, and a large spattering of mossy green.  Literally, the only time we don’t see her in warm colors is when she’s in the outfit Other Mother made her.  (Sidenote, what happened to her original clothes she changed out of?  Are they just gone forever in the Other world?).  To go full pretentious analysist, Coraline does seem to get a color for when she’s particularly closed off or guarded of this really desaturated grey tinged navy which is the color of both her jacket in the shopping scene and her vest when she’s squaring off.

Other Father’s smoking jacket/house coat is a red-orange, a little darker than most of Coraline’s clothes, fully falling in line with her colors rather than Other Mother’s pure red.  This doesn’t come from Charlie either, he’s in a green Michigan State sweatshirt pretty much the whole movie.  It’s a nice way to show his loyalty early (I know I’m not the first one to notice this, but it’s still neat.) The picture frame in her room of the goodbye picture is notably in Coraline’s orange with some kind of swirly pattern. The picture in the Other world has a different gold metal looking frame. Fancier, but more importantly not in Coraline’s colors anymore. Despite being copies of her friends the Other friends pressure Coraline to stay while she’s having her realization freak out. (Mention to young Other Spink and Other Forcible whose outfits are technically pink and green but slightly off from Coraline’s and by the time we see them again during the scavenger hunt the colors have shifted to really cold undertoned, almost unnatural shades of them.)

Mel is pretty much exclusively in cream to beige.  The only real color we see for her is her bag and jacket first seen in the shopping scene, both of which are in Coraline’s colors, if significantly more desaturated to fit her look better.  The car scene became really interesting to look at because Mel’s in Coraline’s colors while Coraline, in her dark jacket is visibly not for the first time in the movie.  Wybie’s grandma at the end of the movie is in a really soft yellow dress with an orange sash, neatly aligning her Coraline too, which is also really fun!

But the most interesting person, color wise is actually Wybie.  I’m serious, it’s really cool!  Wybie’s big color, is obviously black, and slivery-white as thanks to his helmet, gloves, and reflective patches.  Meanwhile Other Wybie is only associated with black since Other Mother’s ‘improvements’ sort of boy-next-doorified his grunge look.  He and Other Mother are really the only ones whose outfits (originally) mirror their counterparts.  What really makes it fun is Wybie’s secondary color.  Wybie’s bike, which makes two very memorable appearances, is bright red.  There is next to no true red in the real world until the ending scene.  Wybie’s colors are the exact same as the Other Mother’s.  And the only other color he has?  The creepy green light from his helmet, the same as the final fight with the Other Mother the mirror into the prison room makes when Other Mother (and Other Wybie) yank Coraline through it.

[nite-puff]

Tonight’s one of those nights where i can’t fall asleep unless I jot something down.

So here’s my long list of Takemichi Yukimaru headcanons! Because he’s nothing if not free real-estate for them.

This will mostly be backstory with some smaller, more light-hearted, headcanons interspersed throughout. Enjoy!

(cw for mentions of abuse. he’s still a danganronpa character) (this is also my longest post. by a long shot. i just have a lot of thoughts on him)

- my intense desire to make my favorite characters latino in some capacity out of self-projection is very real. so in my mind, michi’s half-japanese, half-latino (whichever region is up to you. he doesn’t really know himself, but i will always be compelled to say mexican because i am biased). (edit: also because “michi” is a term of endearment for cats in some latin american countries. so that makes the nickname itself a little cuter. he’s like a little cat guy compared to the owadas, who are strongly associated with tigers.)

- his father was born and raised in japan and his mother moved from overseas to japan out of desire to travel during a gap-year from college. the two met during her stay and had a very explosive and passionate start to their relationship. like a long honeymoon phase. his mother actually decided to stay longer than her intended visit after she found out she was pregnant with michi, and the two were soon married. the rose-tinted glasses were still in full effect at this point in their relationship.

- michi’s hair color is naturally dark brown, like his mom. he actually inherited a lot of his mom’s physical features, including her short stature. what he got from his dad were a couple a facial features, but most notably his yellow eye color.

- also transmasc michi is so real. he doesn’t realize it until a little later in his life. a little while after meeting mondo.

- while things started out fine after michi was born, things were bound to turn sour. the honeymoon phase ended. the added expenses of a new baby along with the already poor state the family was living in raised a lot of tension in the household, and his father quickly became abusive toward his mother. michi didn’t remember much, either because he was very young when it all happened or because his brain did a good job at repressing some of the memories, but what he does remember is particularly bad.

- The only good memories he has of his childhood are with his mother. like her reading him stories or teaching him some simple words in spanish. and her favorite songs, which she would play to him a lot. the reason why he doesn’t have many memories of her is because she left when he was five. neither him or his father know her whereabouts, but michi likes to believe she’s back overseas with her family. she left behind her old cassette collection, something that was largely untouched until michi got a little older.

- michi actually really liked school. he’s described as being a smart kid, so i like to think that he did well in his classes. while he still did well as grew older, his studies took a major backseat after he met the owadas.

- he met mondo first. they went to the same grade school together and mondo was a grade higher than michi. i think that their initial meeting went something along the lines of michi witnessing mondo deck a kid who was picking on a girl classmate of his. michi is immediately enamored by this boy who wasn’t afraid to fight against bullies like that. he is less enamored by the fact that mondo immediately scared the poor girl away as well after trying to talk to her. he was an interesting character, and michi really wanted to be his friend. they proceed to do that little kid thing where they hang out for like 15 minutes, like each other’s vibe, and then say something like “we’re best friends now.” and the rest is history.

- to harken back to trans michi. mondo is taken aback by this supposed girl who wasn’t scared of him and wanted to actually be friends with him. his small naive kid-brain at first thought this could be his shot at a relationship, but 15 minutes into knowing michi and mondo abandoned the idea because michi was perfect best friend material. and because he kinda got scared at how much this kid wanted mondo to teach him how to sucker punch someone.

- mondo and michi’s friendship took off like it was nobody’s business. They were hanging out anytime they could see each other on campus and quickly got to learning about each other. mondo talked a lot about daiya and how cool he was. he mentioned how his older recently got into motorcycles and even got one from one of his friends, and how michi should come over to his house one day to check it out. michi shared a lot of his favorite music with mondo, which mainly consisted of that old cassette collection mentioned previously.

- michi doesn’t actually meet daiya until a year or two into him and mondo knowing each other. he randomly picks mondo up from school on his motorcycle. the gang had already started then, so he had his hair and makeup done and was wearing his gang jacket. michi would probably still say that it was the coolest thing he’s ever seen. mondo asks if michi wants to go with them, and it’s the first time michi doesn’t immediately go home after school. he’s in his last year of grade school at this point.

- another year goes by and michi grows closer with the brothers, basically becoming the honorary third owada brother. he gets to learn a lot about the gang, motorcycles, fighting, etc. he even starts learning how to ride his own motorcycle after daiya mentions that he may or may not be fixing one up for him. he still hasn’t joined the gang at this point because daiya won’t let him. he’s too young and has to be at least the age that mondo was when he joined. which meant michi had to wait until his next birthday.

- while all of this is happening, tensions are brewing back at his home again. michi was a able to avoid his father’s abusive tendencies for the most part because he’s at work when michi is home from school/hanging out with the owadas. but he later had a change in work schedule and soon found out about what michi had been out doing using context clues. the diamonds have also gotten some traction, so the larger population of their hometown are starting to know about the new gang, including michi’s dad. michi elects to ignore this and just doesn’t acknowledge his father when he sees him, but things all come to a head one day and the two of them fight. not physically, verbally. it’s very ugly and it ends more or less with his father telling michi that he can go join the gang if he wants, but he’ll never be allowed to live in his house again if he does. michi storms out and goes to his room, and it’s the last interaction the two of them have. michi is gone with his belongings the next morning.

- he is welcomed into the owada’s home with open arms, joking about how he practically lived there already. though he does sleep on the couch because the small apartment the brothers rent out only has two bedrooms. he doesn’t mind this.

- michi officially joins the gang on the day of his birthday because he is so excited to do so and can’t wait another day. he is also given the motorcycle daiya mentioned as a present.

- he gets the makeover! complete with bleaching his hair, doing the makeup, getting a couple piercings! and getting his new gang jacket courtesy of mondo.

- michi was picked on by some of the gang at first, mostly because of his height and softer features. not much happened outside of that because it was established upfront that michi was close to the brothers, but most importantly, close to daiya. he also shut the naysayers right up after his first gang fight with them. he displays some unnaturally good skills at fighting other guys twice his size.

- michi grows to be a great fighter, even surpassing the owada’s in that regard. he’s the leader of the elite guard and Mondo’s bodyguard for a reason. mondo taught him the basics when they were younger, daiya taught him some of the more higher-level stuff as he grew older, and michi perfected his technique with the sheer amount of practice he did. it was a lot. all so that people wouldn’t pick on him or abuse him anymore.

now for some random, not that important headcanons as a break from all the story:

- michi is allergic to dogs. that made living with chuck very awkward when the little guy was still around. he’s perfectly fine around cats though

- his fan club is very quick to form. it started out on school grounds with some girls who found him cute following him around. news gets out that he joined the crazy diamonds and he gets more attention the higher he climbs up in the ranks. daiya jokes that michi is the most popular crazy diamond member, second only to himself. he teases mondo with the notion as well. michi avoids all interactions with his fan club and is greatly embarrassed by it. to the point that he gives them dirty looks if he sees members following him.

- i cannot for the life of me decide if i want michi to be homoromantic asexual or aroace. so i just combined the two. he’s asexual and arospec and if he were to pursue a romantic relationship, it would be with a guy. he’s thought about this more than he’d like to admit.

- mondo being genuinely curious as to why michi hates his fan club so much leads to michi clumsily coming out to both of the brothers and admitting that he doesn’t really like girls like that (also that he just finds the fan club annoying). they ask how he feels about guys, and he genuinely can’t give them an answer because he doesn’t know how he feels about guys. daiya tells him not to lose so much sleep trying to figure it out. he’ll know when he knows.

- michi sometimes likes to collect more cassette tapes for his collection. he can’t waste too much money on them but he’ll sometimes buy a couple if he thinks it’s music his mom would’ve liked.

- michi never forgot those small bits of spanish his mom taught him. his pronunciation is shoddy and he’s not by any means fluent, but he knows what they mean.

- when daiya and mondo are talking about the switch in leadership, michi is the first to come to mind for mondo’s right-hand man. it’s a no-brainer there.

- he’s been to juvie the same amount of times mondo has. the two are just always together when they’re caught.

- he continues to be more intelligent than what he lets on. this mostly shows through his more level-headed personality because he doesn’t fall for the things that are clearly meant to get a rise out of him. mondo does though, so it’s good that he can be the reasonable one to drag him out of a situation like that.

back to the story:

- on the night of the race, michi can’t stop himself from following after the brothers some time after their race started. he’s always had a strong need to protect people, and he’s scared of what mondo could do while that angry and recklessly driving his motorcycle. he doesn’t see the accident happen, but he’s the first to show up to the scene after it occurs. he’s the first person mondo tells his lie to.

- the weeks after daiya’s death are rough. michi isn’t as bad as mondo was, but he’s still grieving. he doesn’t expect mondo to be back on schedule as quick as he is and even encourages him to take a longer break. he’s ignored.

- michi is uncomfortable having to be back to the gang so soon, but he has to because he now basically has the highest non-leader power. at this point, he is immensely respected by the rest of the gang, and new members who try to make fun of him are shut up by the older members.

- mondo at first doesn’t plan on going to hope’s peak when he is given the invite and even starts writing the letter telling them such. michi convinces him to go, telling him it would be stupid to give up an opportunity like that. that serves as excellent angst material after michi learns about the killing game and mondo���s death.

- michi is left in charge of the gang when mondo is gone and can be considered the third leader of the crazy diamonds, even if it’s not official.

- kinda random, but michi is jealous of mondo and taka’s friendship at first. like, who’s this other guy claiming to be mondo’s best bro??? this hall monitor, straight-laced, son of a cop no less. that period of time doesn’t last very long because michi is quick to figure out mondo’s more than friendly feelings toward taka. before either of them do. jealousy becomes pity with a side of secondhand embarrassment from watching mondo deny his feelings for taka then witnessing his terrible attempts at “flirting” when he does realize said feelings.

- then he’s kidnapped, demon game, library, gontakerus, yada yada yada. we know this.

- there’s something so cool about thinking of michi as “the last crazy diamond.” idk maybe the title is just cool. but he still holds hope that some of the other members are alive and out there somewhere. he makes it his mission to find them and restore the gang. he kind of blames himself for not being there to protect them when the tragedy does happen. he doesn’t think about how he really had no choice in the matter.

- also michi, takaaki, and hiroko found family dynamic is so real. let that boy have a loving mother and father figure in his life. he needs it.

- he never really gives up his goal to find some crazy diamond members, though it becomes less about restoring the gang and more about wanting to see his old friends again. but that mission is put in the backseat after he’s found by the future foundation.

um that’s mostly it, but here’s a non-despair universe thing:

- the tragedy never happens, and mondo hands the gang down to michi after he graduates from hope’s peak. michi is an awesome leader and hands the gang down to his successor because he wants to try his hand out at getting a higher education. what he wants to be, he has no idea (because i have no idea).

- also michi is mondo’s best man at the ishimondo wedding. because why wouldn’t he be?

AND THATS IT!!! I PROBABLY FORGOT SOME STUFF BUT GOD I AM SO TIRED ITS 4 AM

i love michi, i wish he was real.

[heartidylla]

speak now — the story of us

din djarin x f!reader

summary : you and the mandalorian had a spark once before; however, it ended on horrible terms. two years later, you awkwardly cross paths once again. will you two be able to rekindle the love that still lingers?

warnings : cussing

everyone thank character.ai for playing din in this (i edited a bit of it.) next time i’m just going to write my own way, but this was interesting to try out and play around with!

speaking color coding

“” - din

“” - you

“” - others

"we're done, so just go! i don't need you anymore!" din's sharp words cut right through your heart as tears immediately swelled into your eyes, blinding your eyesight.

"well, fuck you too din." your voice practically breaking due to amount your chest had swelled up with an aching sickness. you could've sworn you felt a tear fall from your cheek as you ran off the landed ship, leaving the mandalorian and the kid that you bonded with all alone.

two years later.

the mandalorian can be a bit intimidating in appearance and is clearly armed, but this is still a public place and he's keeping his weapons holstered at the moment.

"another round for me and this little one," he says in a gruff voice. the tone of which makes the bartender jump into action, grabbing his bottle and starting to fill two glasses of alcohol in a hurry.

the mandalorian looks over at the "stranger", taking a sip of his beverage and staring him in the eye, trying to get a read on the person. the same stranger who has seen the best and the worst of him. now, you feel as if your galaxies away from him even if they're within the same enclosed space.

catching his gaze, you immediately was send back in time to the days where you used to think that one upcoming day you’d tell the stories of their love: how they met, and the sparks between them flew overhead instantly.

how people would turn there heads as they walked by with their hands interlocked with one another and say that they're the lucky ones.

how you always knew where your place was because he'd always keep a spot for you next to him. he always wanted you around, visa versa. they are completely head over heels in love with one another. the kind that completely rewires your brain and makes you see all sorts of new different shades of vibrant colors that were associated with only him.

now, your looking around the room for an empty seat trying to not look in his direction, to not even acknowledge his presence.

the mandalorian, having seen the expression on the visitor's face, lets a small smile form on his lips and bravely continues to stare at the visitor. he raises his glass as if in salutation, slowly nodding his head before letting his gaze drop to the floor, as if suddenly shy which caused for his smile to start slipping away.

he didn't know how to act around you after their big blowout. he wanted nothing more than them both to be friendly with one another. hell, even that wouldn't be enough for him since he desperately desired you back into his dangerous and chaotic life. you brought a sense of stability into it, and he's been going through the trenches ever since.

din, the mandalorian that you knew like the back of your hand and terribly loved as such, is a person full of contradictions. after all, he's a trained warrior, a bounty hunter who's tracked and killed or captured some of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. he's feared in his own right, and now he appears to be intimidated by the girl he once had within his protective grasp.

you slightly smiled as the waitress showed you to your seat next to the window. you were sitting alone, thinking about what page that din was on with you. honestly, since the beginning he's always been a complex guy ... but it got to the point where it was completely unbearable.

a simple complication which followed multiple miscommunications that led to their fall out. there were so many things that you wished he knew about you, and how you felt when everything went down.

however, you weren’t ever able to break down those steel walls which the mandalorian built so high up in order to speak your inner feelings towards him.

the mandalorian eventually finishes his drink and as such he gets up without a word to anyone in the bar, turning and heading straight for the door. you watch din's armor clink as he moves, and suddenly all the other patrons in the bar are silenced as if someone turned down the volume on the entire room.

you noticed how everyone's eyes within the bar are directed onto the mandalorian. he's a mystery to them all, with his armor, his weapons, his silence. everyone except for her, which inflicted an aching within her chest as she came to the realization: the only person that knew you was him, visa versa.

he disappears out the door of the bar and his spurs jangle rhythmically against the pavement for a moment before disappearing into the crowd.

he didn't say a single word to you after all this time. you were dying to know if the fact neither of them spoke for such a long period of time was killing him as much as it had been torturing you.

however, you didn't know what to say to him since it was all a twist of fate when everything broke down. the story which they had written together had become such a heart aching tragedy.

your eyes fell onto the cup of water, eyeing your reflection that was a mist onto it before heavily sighing. it looks like you need to move on to the next chapter of your life.

din walks quickly through the small city, making his way towards his ship. he keeps a hand on his side, at his blaster, making sure he's not robbed.

it's the wild frontier these days, even on a well travelled planet like this. din walks through the crowd silently and unemotionally, like a machine.

he keeps his helmet on, the expression on his face unreadable. it's hard to think of him as even human, as the face behind that helmet is completely expressionless. it is the face of a machine, the face of a killer.

how did the two of you end up this uncomfortable near one another? you remembered how in the bar he watched you closely as you nervously pulled at your clothes' cloth while trying to look busy, and then he left — doing his ultimate best to completely avoid you.

now your thinking that the day you tell the story of you both it'll all be about this horrible moment which led to their demise. how you were completely losing control of your mind as you watched him peacefully sit there without you beside him. he was gracefully holding onto his pride just as he should've been holding you..

din reaches his ship and climbs the ramp, entering the cockpit and beginning pre-flight checks. the ship is a state of the art ship, with the weapons and shielding systems of a warship and the speed of the quickest civilian transports, with the amenities that are a necessity for long-haul journeying, like a small personal room and bathroom.

as is necessary for a ship to house a mandalorian, there is a full suit of beskar armor in the ship's equipment locker and there's a weapons locker full of blasters, explosives, and other assorted items.

after seeing him leave, you suddenly rushed out of the bar as you knew exactly where to find him. you were terrified to see how this ended — how their love would die out as if it was bound to fall apart from the beginning.

why were they both pretending as if this was nothing to be concerned about..? as if neither of them were still bleeding from the wounds that they struck onto one another during their arguments?

you swear you’d tell him how much your heart craved his admiration once again .. but you didn't know how to say such silly words.

as you stood right in front of the window which you subconsciously knew he was there looking down at you within, you noted that you hadn't ever heard such silence that was quite this loud before.

it was starting to look as if this whole situation was a contest between them. one that determined who could act like they cared less than the other about how things ended with bad blood between one another.

though one things for certain, you liked life way better when he was on your side of it. when he was waiting for you .. knowing that you always felt a sense of safety and love by his side.

as you stood in front of the razor crest, you put the battle within his hands. if he came out here .. you’d put all the amour you had tirelessly handcrafted down if he said he chose to love one another again than continuously fight with one another.

you had so many things you wanted to tell him .. that you needed to get off of your chest, but if he chose to leave you as you stood in front of his ship ... the story of them would be ending very soon.

your begging eyes locked onto his, awaiting his choice. would he stay, or would he leave?

the mandalorian looks at you for what feels like years, a million different complex emotions going through his head, the two most prominent being longing and pain.

his heart is crying out for you. he desires you in his arms, but every memory of how their relationship ended causes him physical pain. how would they ever be able to reconcile? does either of them have the ability to yield completely to the other? are they two too far gone to ever go back to how it was again?

but then .. then he sees your desperation, your pleading eyes, your hopeful look.

"come here!" he suddenly shouts, his voice breaking over his emotions.

your heart leapt out of your chest as your once begging face rises into a brighter one.

he was willing to give them a second chance.

you quickly walked towards where he was descending from the ramp, standing in front of him with lips that slightly curved into a small grin. the sight of his shiny armor brought back loving memories, yet also the harsh ones that were still harder to swallow down as if the pain hadn't been healed just yet.

as much as he hates to admit it, but in the moment din's heart is racing. it always pulsed more than it should typically around you. he was succumbed to the anxiety and uncertainty of a new beginning.

even so, he slowly reaches out his arms and pulls you into a tight embrace, holding you close enough to feel the pounding of your heart against his chest, just as his heart is pounding against yours. "i love you," he whispers in your ear, his voice breaking over the flood of emotion.

those were the first words he has said to you in over two years. the constant silence between them prior to this moment was obviously devastating for them both; however, both of their pride had been too strong for either of them to ever state their true feelings for one another.

as he held you close for the first time in two years, you felt as if you had finally returned home after an agonizing long journey. you melted within his grasp, molding yourself into him by wrapping your arms around his back and pushing his colder metal body into yours. "i love you too." you confessed, tears prickling into your eyesight.

din closes his eyes as he holds you, the feel of you in his arms comforting him.

"i thought i'd lost you," he admits, his voice cracking with emotion but there's no use in hiding it now.

he keeps his eyes shut and rests his cheek on the top of her head. "i do need you, and i'm so scared that i'll mess up and lose you again." he pulls her in more tightly.

"i thought that we were truly over with .. and that was the most difficult pill to swallow." you replied, your body began to tremble due to past moments as the pain from drowning herself in liquor those nights were still all too real for you.

din pulls you even closer, holding you securely in his embrace. "i couldn't see my life without you in it. the last two years have been the most painful time i've ever experienced. i know we've each got things to explain, but i don't know if i can be without you." he hesitates for a moment before saying, "i want a life with you. i want you to be mine, forever. that's all i need," he says, his voice breaking.

you gently smiled into his metal covered body as his words soaked into your mind. he wanted you, forever. "i want you forever too, din." you replied, lifting your head off of his chest and looking into his mask from below.

din kisses your forehead and pulls back, looking into your eyes. "my honor, my pledge to you is eternal; nothing will ever change that. you are my home. you are my universe, my life, my love. and i would do anything to hold you close and protect you, because you are worth that."

he pulls back a bit and looks to the sky. "i will always choose freedom, but my definition of freedom is to be with you, no matter the consequences; because when i'm with you, i'm free."

with only admiration into his helmet. he loved the way he was reflected in your eyes, and the certain sweet love that you felt for him. he knew he couldn't and wouldn't find that with anyone else.

they both wanted to be with one another for the rest of their lives, never to have such a horrible conflict between one another that would break them apart again.

they decided from that point on to talk about everything that made them insecure or intensely angered. they would talk through all of their disagreements instead of storming out and leaving the other to their despair.

they wanted to be better for one another, and they made sure to follow through with that idea. they both sealed the secret promise to one another by her slightly lifting the metal up just enough in order to expose his gracious lips to you, and stealing those as your own for the first time in two years with a soft peck onto them. you watched his lips closely after you moved away from him, slowly they curved into the most lovesick grin you’d ever seen him express before. you didn't even have to see his eyes to know that he was swooning over you.

[hackerqueen]

Without you

A short story about Richy's funeral and how MC is coping after the mine fire.

warnings: mention JakexMC, mental breakdown, slight sexual abuse

I stared blankly at the group of people standing in front of me. Nothing caught my attention, all the colors washed into one, and time didn't seem to pass at all. He stopped, but already a week ago. A week ago when I first heard the "MC, the mine blew up. They found a man's body." My cheeks were dry because I wasn't crying anymore. It seemed to me that I got rid of all the water from my body that I had in me.

And when the bronze coffin was lowered into the deep grave, I heard something that I will never forget for the rest of my life. I heard a loud sob that was similar to the moan of a wounded animal that is fighting with all its might to survive. I looked towards the sound and saw a red-haired girl who was clutched by a taller and bigger bearded man. I tensed my whole body and face to stay in place so as not to walk over to her and take her in my arms. Jessy's fregile body trembled with spasms of desperate crying as Dan tried to hold her still. My Jessy, who I always associated with smile, warmth and determination, was now the definition of surrender. And that broke me the most, because why was fate so cruel that it took away even the greatest ray of happiness we had left?

The coffin fell down and was covered with earth. People will remember him as a cheerful and playful mechanic who could always make you feel better. I wasn't sure how I would remember him. Right now, it was just a taste of betrayal I had never experienced before.

My arms were folded over my chest, I stood there with a stony face as my mind stormed. No, it was a typhoon. Murderous and merciless. All I wanted was to silence all these thoughts and go to sleep. To be unaware of all the fuss and chaos for at least one hour. One hour of peace, is that much? But my brain wouldn't give up. It still flooded me with thoughts and anxiety. Jake. What has become of him? Did he die in the mine, and if so, where was his body? If he got away, did the FBI catch him? And they did, I was sure of it. Did they just kill him? Or worse, were they torturing him? I was replaying our last conversation. I love you. He confessed it to me. He actually told me he loved me and I replied the same to him. God, I would give anything to turn back time and stop him from saying those words. Maybe then it would hurt less.

My God, I would give anything to turn back time, get my way and go into that mine alone instead of letting him go there. He wasn't supposed to die there.

– So you showed up.

I turned to a female voice I didn't know yet. However, I immediately recognized the woman standing in front of me. Missing Hannah Donfort stood before me as if nothing had happened.

– Hi, Hannah. Nice to finally meet you. – I made an effort to be friendly but I honestly didn't feel like talking to either of them. Well, maybe except Jessy, because only she could understand what I felt at that moment. I felt a special bond between me, Jessy, and Richy. It wasn't a big deal, but it was ours. Our little something that gave me a certain sense of belonging to their group.I scanned the people around her.

Seeing them all was very strange and almost stressful, because our contact so far was only by phone. Thomas was standing next to her, giving me a not-so-pleasant look. In fact, he almost always had that look on his face, so I wasn't too concerned. After all, I didn't like him much after all the stupid things he'd done while looking for his girlfriend.

On the other side of her, I recognized her sister, Lilly. Our relationship was... dynamic. From a lot of hatred to a quite successful friendship, the only thing that separated us was solving the puzzle together with Jake. The blonde gave me a soft smile and I couldn't help but wonder if Jake's smile would be similar to hers? Did the color of her eyes resemble his? Did the warmth of her gaze even remotely reflect his? They were half siblings after all, they must have had something in common. Lilly seems to have sensed that I was thinking of a hacker because her face turned violently sad.

And behind them stood Dan, who was still hugging Jessy, but she wasn't crying anymore. The mascara had dried on her cheeks, and she stared at me with the same dull eyes that I had a dozen or so minutes ago. She stared at me and her eyes were so... alien. With one look from her, I understood that our first meeting would be without a smile and a warm hug.

– How dare you come here? – I was snapped out of watching the others by Hannah's sharp question. – Who invited you? What happened wasn't enough for you?

What the fuck?

– What are you talking about, Hannah? – I asked cautiously, my jaw clenching tight

– You think I don't know anything? I know Richy wanted you to come to him. Maybe if you'd done that instead of sending Jake there, they'd both still be alive!

I opened my eyes in amazement, and my blood suddenly began to boil. I looked at them all in disbelief to hear that it was some kind of bad joke, but they stood as they had been standing before. Lilly had her eyes fixed on the ground, Thomas continued to stare at me with his dull and unfavorable gaze, and Jessy, even though she was looking at me, I knew that her heart was somewhere else.

– You know shit. You don't know anything about what really happened, so don't accuse me. – I growled at her, losing patience. The girl I didn't know, and yet to whom I gave the last months of my life, made me mud, and the people I helped didn't even defend me with a single word.

– Oh yeah? So it wasn't like Richy wanted you to come to Duskwood and you agreed to let Jake go instead of you? – she asked in a venomous tone and I fell silent. Because basically that's exactly how it was. – It wasn't like you used him to save your own skin? It wasn't like you knew full well it could kill him and you still agreed to it? It wasn't like you let him die instead of you?

– Shut up. – I mumbled, but she didn't listen to me. She kept stabbing daggers into my bleeding heart. – I said, shut up!

I was breathing fast and my heart was beating mercilessly fast causing a sharp pain in my chest. Nobody interrupted her. They all think I'm the cause of Richy's death. Jake's death.

– And now you're boasting because you think he did it for you? – she asked and I felt myself falling apart. – Do you think he cared about you? He's only been using you the whole time to find me.

I stared at her not understanding a single word. One sentence from her and I knew she was still in love with the hacker. I glanced briefly at Lilly, who shook her head slightly. She did not know.

So why should I pretend I'm okay when I'm not? Should I allow myself to be treated this way by the person for whose search I gave all my strength?

– And you're still in love with the boy who blew you off. – I said dryly. – Hannah, tell me, don't you have at least a little respect not to start an argument in the cemetery right after we buried our friend?!

A dry snort escaped her lips.

– Don't make me laugh, MC. Just accept that you should never get involved in this. If you hadn't, our friends would still be alive.

Once again, surprise flashed across my face. She.. didn't know she sent them my number?

I had enough. It was her game that I wasn't going to play anymore. I moved forward, passing everyone I had called friends before.

– Before you start to accuse me again, ask them how it really was. Go ahead, ask Thomas why I got involved. Ask them how you ruined my life.

Lilly grabbed my hand, but I pulled away from her grip. I couldn't and didn't want to look at them. Not now and never in my life.

* * *

Crowd, sweaty bodies and alcohol. These three things accompanied me that evening. I didn't count the amount of high-proof liquors I drank. They were not colorful, light drinks, but pure vodka, which allowed me to forget faster. Get away from what happened. I danced, wiggling my hips, brushing against random people as neon and flickering lights illuminated my tired face.

At one point I swallowed some colored pills that were given to me - but I didn't care. At that moment, I would swallow anything that would give me a moment of solace. One minute I was dancing with a girl I didn't know, and the next I was pinned against the bathroom wall, kissed by an older man.

My body was sticky from alcohol, sweat and other unknown substances. I felt my hair tangled. At that moment, I only wanted one thing. Death. I wanted to cry. Oh god, I wanted to howl as loud as I could, but not even a single tear ran down my dead face. The man covered my skin with more wet kisses. He alternately drooled my cleavage, neck and shoulders, and I just stared blankly ahead and begged for someone to end it.

I don't know how, but I freed myself from the man's tight grip. Perhaps someone sent me a guardian angel, perhaps someone took pity on the girl who drank too much, and perhaps I regained some strength to oppose him. I didn't remember how I got to the motel room, but I only woke up when I ran into the bathroom. I didn't hesitate - I immediately staggered to the shower.

I clumsily opened the glass door of the cabin, and then my legs refused to obey. I fell onto the white paddling pool, bruising my knees painfully. I put my hands on the glass, trying to get air, but the harder I did, the more I was suffocating. My head throbbed and my body writhed in convulsions of pain. After turning on the tap with water, my hand fell, knocking most of the things off the shelf, making a loud bang. It wasn't important. Feeling the icy water pour over my burning body, I felt as if someone had given me life back.

I sighed, hanging my head, feeling my hair sticking more and more to my forehead. I don't even know when the water started mixing with my tears.

It wasn't like you let him die instead of you?

If you hadn't, our friends would still be alive.

She is right. You are disgustingly selfish. You should die there.

You couldn't handle it so you're off to drink and fuck with some old creep?

You should die there.

A soft, pitiful moan escaped my lips as more trickles began to run down my face. I clenched my trembling fingers against my thighs as hard as I could, crying louder and more wistfully. Nothing mattered to me. Not when I knew I had let the man I loved suffer for me. My lungs refused to obey me, and I felt such a piercing pain that I hadn't felt in a long time. I choked on my own saliva that landed on my chin and hands. At one point, I howled like a wounded animal because I couldn't control it anymore. It was like torture. I begged in my mind for it to end, but absolution never came.

Jake is dead because of you.

I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around my waist, and screamed again, doubled over. My forehead touched the white paddling pool.

As if behind the fog, I heard someone opening the cabin door. I didn't open my eyes. I closed my eyes tighter when I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder, followed by a pleasant smell and warmth emanating from the other person.

– MC, calm down. – he whispered in a trembling voice right into my ear, his trembling fingers running through my wet hair. I pressed my forehead against the hard surface as hard as I could, almost breaking my nails from how hard I pressed them against my skin. – You are safe. I am with you.

– Jake? – I croaked

This voice was like the fulfillment of the most secret desires.

It took me a few long moments to come to my senses. I opened my eyes in an amok, but the vision was very blurry. I blinked slowly.

And when I didn't see anyone there, I felt like someone stab a dagger right through my heart, twirl it hard, then pull it out and leave me to bleed out.

"I've nothing without you

All my dreams and all the lights mean

Nothing without you"

Lana Del Rey

[merakiui]

"The liquid drips from the table in fat droplets, landing on the clean tiles in patterns reminiscent of blood spatter. It’s a pastel crime scene, one that’s endearingly sweet and innocently pink." AUGHHHH MERA YOUR DESCRIPTIONS AND WRITING ARE SO GOOD IM- p l e a s e

comparing an innocent milkshake knocked over by a child to a blood spattered crime scene??? hello?? your brain is incredible???

I'm still in the middle of reading death row undertow but i had to stop because oh my goddddd your writing is divine!!!

actually no im still obsessed over that line and like????

the red of actual blood mixed in with the white of childhood naivete and pure intentions??? to make a pink milkshake?? hello??? the fact that the milkshake is pink and blood is red and white is known for being associated with purity im-

- - -

AAAAAAA OMG OMG THANK YOU!!!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THAT LINE AND MY WRITING!!!! :D

The act of spilling a milkshake is such an innocent mistake that immediately takes on a sinister undertone when described in such an unnerving way. You wouldn’t normally picture milkshake splatter in a brightly colored, upbeat diner as blood spatter at a crime scene. I like mixing innocent things like that with eerie comparisons; the contrast is so fun! I hope it can make for an unsettling feeling when read!

I loved writing that line (and plenty of others) for the story, so I’m glad you enjoyed it and caught the juxtaposition! I can promise the plot will only get scarier going forward hehehe!!

[lightyearssurrogatedaddy]

LOOK. AT. HER. I. LOVE. HER.

So for a while now the idea of a media/film themed sans has been freely orbiting my brain. She's not a sans, but she's related to some. I didn't really mean to make her into a shipchild, that's my bad I got a little carried away, but it's a more than ignorable fact that I can live with.

I promised I'd never make a shipchild, but then again I promised I'd leave this fandom forever. So I guess promises to myself never work out.

more about her:

-Her kisses sound like camera shutters and her voice is very grating. She sounds like a 50yo smoker. (the radio voice flux got rebuked) -She's the 'preservation of the past' (vultures are associated with dead things, things that are 'in the past now', and cameras which capture a moment in time). In a household with people stuck in their own heads over what went wrong in their lives. -She knows everyone's backstory except Nightmare's because she fears they'll catch her taking photos. ('everyone' as is Just the Goons and Only them) -In order to read into someone's past she needs to take as many photos of them as she can, from every angle and lighting, every facial expression, etcetc. She can't activate her ability on the spot, and needs dark rooms, like a film developing room, to roll a tape. -'Roll a tape', the backstories she gathers come out in long rolls of film she can pop into a projector and watch. -Her magic takes a lot out of her. Depending on how long the tape is, she can be weakened from a week to a month. Her magic doesn't come in any other forms.

*Little Birdy, HP 40, ATK 3, DEF 25. Easy as cracking an egg.

Her past telling is not 100% accurate. When watching one of her tapes you'll get the general gist of what happened, but for anything that's not a major plot beat is usually a little icky.

Audio is the least likely to get screwed up, but when it does it has the same vibe as, 'been through Google Translate at least twice.'

Color is in the middle, when it comes out wrong it's commonly in black and white or high contrast.

Visual is the most likely. Even in her visions she can't see shit. The tape comes out looking spotty and characters will randomly ragdoll or glitch out at inappropriate times.

She lives in the walls and her film room is in an attic. Most of the info on this page is either still being pondered about or doesn't really apply anymore in the timeframe of 6hours since I drew this. She's still in development so things are prone to change, yk. Take it with a grain of salt.

She calls people 'sticky'/stinky, her version of 'bukko' or 'pal'

My inspo for her design came directly from Lady Gaga and Cruella De Vil, both my childhood idols. Lady Gaga influenced the general vibe in my mind rather than the drawing itself.

"Why does she like Pepper Steak when it's not even a poultry dish?" childhood food+so I can listen to Pepper Steak from the OFF soundtrack and look at her at the same time.

"Why is she called 'little birdy?" because of the phrase, 'a little bird told me...' to reference her past telling abilities.

Yes she's wearing boxers, c'mon guys she may live in a shithole but she's not a heathen.

About the climbing thing. She does have great balance but she can't scale a sheer cliff. Her talent lies in getting to the top of the bookshelf or maneuvering her way through the walls. She doesn't have the balls to climb around the outside, but she'll do it in a pinch.

She's very grabby. A little spoiled. If she doesn't get what she wants she won't cry at you, instead she'll sneak into your room late at night and steal shit that you hold valuable. And THEN go get whatever she wanted without your help.

Damn, most of the immediate characters in utmv are stinky smelly little gremlins. Here she is next to a discord moderator. I kept deathgripping the air in front of him and glaring.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

musical rambling #3

i've done the two Beauties (as in, brains brawn beauty (and then the guru)) so i think that means... brains next ? aka bentley's turn !

regardless of my status i feel the psa should still apply-- i've got no idea if this makes sense to anyone but me. ''<:]

angle ; emma harner

you know i'm not entirely sure how this became my number one bentley song actually ? i do know it was very early into the process for my reboot and i immediately attached it to jailbreak- and by extension, to bentley :]

as per usual with these, analysis/breakdown under the cut <3 this one's a little less specific/in-depth because a lot of my association for this is based on Vibes and Reboot. but i've managed some things >:3c

now it is important to note that as i said this is very Jailbreak to me and not a lot of anything else and that Will be reflected. sorry but not really lol.

"High above the color of your conversation / I'm asking if your lips could move / The way they do in my imagination / All's well for now, just tell me how we lose"

okay so i mostly have thoughts for the "all's well for now, just tell me how we lose" however those are very much so reboot-based and not canon based sooooo. not a lot for right here. BUT. i cannot find the post for the life of me (hellsite fr) but there's a post somewhere that points out that sly 2 is very much so about losing in general; sly & murray get arrested, the clockwerk parts are reclaimed, clock-la Exists tm, bentley's spine, etc.

in a canon jailbreak context, i suppose "just tell me how we lose" is probably mostly bentley being an anxious little dude. it esp. reminds me of murray being all Spicy tm; "all's well for now" and it's "tell me how we lose" bc he's with sly, but they're still losing bc murray is Losing His Mind.

as for the beginning ..... shrug emote? i'm imagining him saying it to sly, but i'm not entirely sure why.

"I don't wanna be a world / Would you mind if I orbit a bit, I'm"

bentley is so incredibly stressed out all the time, especially during jailbreak when he's flying solo. i'm sure the week vacation they take is just as much for him to relax as it is for murray to shake off the spice-ness because ancient knows he needs it ! he needs a nap and a hug

"Hanging on to what I've heard / When it comes to you, I don't forget"

okay back into the throes of jailbreak here bentley's "hanging on to what [he's] heard" is very much so him running recon on the contessa with his weird ass sound vibration darts. "when it comes to you, i don't forget" is ALSO very him at the contessa but that's also mostly Vibes.

what's he not forgetting? who's to say. possibly himself, if the contessa were to get her weird-ass lobster claws on him. but in general this is just very Running Recon tm.

"Delirious, a fear of us / It's fine, but why so serious?"

this one is BLUE. that's intentional. this is moreso associated w/ jailbreak than with bentley specifically and therefore there's some sly shenanigans in there. "delirious, a fear of us" is almost too easy to apply to sly and murray while murray is literally trying to murder him while they're messing with the agitators.

and, taking canon and running with it, "it's fine, but why so serious?" is absolutely sly downplaying the effect the prison had on him because that's just How he Is. there's no way one is not Traumatized tm from the extended visit to the contessa in general, and he was in the hole for Who Knows How Long. and of course it would be bentley who is being serious because like sly That's Just How He Is. he sees right through sly's facade.

"It's a metaphor how to flip the table / When my breathing slows down, I'll find an angle"

flipping the table is actually just him saving his brothers <3

WHEN MY BREATHIN' SLOWS DOWN, I'LL FIND AN ANGLE... say hello to the line that started it all (affectionate) that's bentley during the predator awakes' getaway!! that's his sleepless week of data crunching !! it just. AUGH. it's so very That.

"(Flip the table, find an angle / When my breathing slows down I'll)"

read as: the moment he can (aka when his "breathing slows down") he's gonna make for his brothers and come up with a plan (aka flipping the table & finding an angle.) it's just so very much jailbreak.

"I watch you dance for the apocalypse / It's not like you'd be running"

okay so i think in rebootiverse "it's not like you'd be running" is the current title for his journey to prague but that's gonna change p soon here sooo. anyway

thinking about this harder i think this is kind of. bentley about sly n' carmelita esque. i know that doesn't happen until A Tangled Web but it's just a matter of principal y'know. the "you" is of course sly and presumably "the apocalypse" metaphorically speaking is carmelita herself. bc sly's got a big heart and is a goober and will save the cop that's only making their job harder.

"And we both know I'm a colossal mess / Attempts to sate just agitate this longing"

[bentley voice] "the long walk out of the jungle gave me time to reflect, and with each passing step, my sense of isolation grew. shockingly, my comrade's absence was having a profound emotional effect on me!"

i think that... explains itself

(note: replay of the chorus)

"I flipped the table, I did / I love the way that you give / And if this angle's a bit unstable, I'll live"

AND THE HAPPY ENDING <3 these all have very different meanings they're just grouped together bc they are the happy ending lol.

i flipped the table i did - smiley face. bentley proved that he can kick ass on his own and saved his brothers

i love the way that you give - something something sappy for his brothers something something The Wizard something something

and if this angle's a bit unstable, i'll live - character development the beloved. like okay sly 1 and early sly 2 bentley is very rigid and stick to the plan and no, sly, shooting yourself out of a cannon is NOT a good thing!

but then jailbreak comes along and he's forced to do a lot of scrappy improv and he learns that he's actually really good at this. which paves the way for our much more calm cool & collected bentley that we see in sly 3 !!

bentley's character development is my absolute favorite thing, can you tell ? :]

[nerfedbytheuniverse]

Idk where to put this so it won’t immediately worry people or something so here it is.

Tw for like. Passive suicidal ideation and thoughts of self harm. Intrusive thoughts.

Before you read: I’m totally safe, there’s nothing nearby that can hurt me, and I have no plans to do anything harmful to myself. This is just me ranting and explaining my brain.

I scrolled until it stopped but for a solid 10 minutes all I could think was basically “just let me go”

It’s passive but I still don’t want it.

I don’t know why this happens, and when I’m like this, there’s no reality where I don’t feel like shit. Only when I’m at baseline do I become sure that my zest for life is real. And I’ve started noting it when I feel it because even if it’s fleeting at times, it’s there, it’s happy, and no part of me feels like I’m faking it or lying to myself.

My depression, when it strikes, will tell me otherwise. That i always feel this way and I lie to myself that I don’t. That I’ve been struggling for so long already and it keeps coming back, so how do I know it’s going to improve?

The answer: every time, I eventually feel better. It may only last three days or it could last a year and a half, but eventually I feel better and I don’t constantly have graphic intrusive thoughts of a blade against my skin.

Even when I did self-harm, I never cut. Never did anything that left a mark or a scar. But yet half the time I get close to relapsing it’s with the urge to tear at my arms with anything, down to my fingernails, to create those marks and scars and that pain.

It’s just externalizing the internal. I know it’s just that I feel fucking awful in ways I can’t describe and I’m too scared to reach out anyway, so I think it redirects to self-harm. Which is technically quite attention-seeking and would be a very visible cry for help. And I’m aware of that but it doesn’t stop the admittedly-pretty-sick urge to numb the constant internal screaming. To take the pain and make it external. To transfer the pain to another format.

I could be journaling or making music but the problem is that the very homework that has me hiding the sharps is the same homework that’s a strong barrier to anything else I want to do.

Can’t play guitar, I have homework.

Can’t journal, I have homework.

Can’t write stories, I have homework.

Can’t play the game that might’ve saved my life over the summer, I have homework.

It’s not even a constant depression or set of issues, really. I have parts of the day where I feel like I’m thriving. I have days at a time where I feel fine, great even. But then I have drops, sometimes for 15 minutes and sometimes for 15 months, where everything is grey tinted and I want to hurt on the outside to make the inside feel better.

I played that one site where you can cut the screen and it helped, but what helped more was a list of alternatives I had saved, which suggested writing the name of a loved one wherever you want to harm. So I wrote my closest friends and family’s names on my arms, grouping in pairs and groups by favorite color or associated color. The bright red did something to my brain but it felt like relief so I accepted it. It helped. When I wanted to scratch at my arms, I saw the names. Scratched where the names weren’t, and because I was aware, I did it lightly so I wouldn’t be tempted.

I’m getting through. It just feels hard and miserable and exhausting and I know I have so much to work on. It’s hard to hand I guess.

[michael-viciedo]

WEIGHT OF A BODY: COMPOSE

Student name: Michael Viciedo

Documentation of “Body of Weight” in-class compositional project:

1). Organized composition part 1:

Statement of intent:

When I hear the word “organized”, what immediately comes to mind is symmetry. Symmetrical compositions often have an organized look, and feeling to them, so for this reason I implemented each object into the piece in such a way that they would create a perfectly symmetrical shape. I also wanted the final product to appear satisfying to look at, so I created a classic T-shape, compact composition in the end.

2). Organized composition part 2:

Statement of intent:

When told to once again form an organized composition, I took a different approach all together. I thought about group organization, and how that is often associated with successful organization skill. For this reason, I placed my items into five separate groups: top left going around clockwise…. Gardening items, Refrigerated liquids, Personal room items, Items which aid in carrying other items, and finally items created in this room. I also wanted to make this composition successful looking from each angle, so the groups are spaced in such a way that the work can be viewed from any point around it.

3). Disorganized composition:

Statement of Intent:

Disorganization is the polar opposite of organization, therefore my methodology was flipped on its head for this composition. The opposite of organized groups and symmetry is an unorganized, asymmetrical mess! I enjoyed placing the objects in overlapping, seemingly nonsensical positions, even switching out some of the objects, such as the boots, with my own shoes to create an even more disorganized color palette despite the purposefully chaotic composition, I still wanted the work to somehow be pleasing to gaze at from all angles, in an almost intriguing, mysterious way… make people thing “why is this messed up, what could have happened here?” It is almost like the aftermath of a breakdown, a portrait of pure anger.

4). Disappearing exercise (Slideshow video format):

Statement of intent:

Now this was an unexpected assignment for sure, but an extremely fun, and complex one at that! When told to make my objects disappear without taking them outside of the room, that prompted the creativity and problem solving portion of my brain to work harder. I thought about hiding my objects in plain sight, somewhere where they would fade into the room’s natural aesthetic and mood. Color, shape, and context were my total intent with making these objects disappear. Objects like the gloves were placed near machines that would prompt the use of gloves, my tiles were placed in placed with other square-shaped items, and also areas with construction materials. My sketchbooks were placed near other books behind chairs and many objects inside my trash-bag next to the trashcan, making it seem like just another trash-bag waiting to be thrown out.

5). Load-bearing composition:

Statement of intent:

When it came to the final composition/exercise, I knew exactly what I would do from the moment the prompt was announced. My set of objects was unique because of the fact that a majority of the weight was located in, primarily, the three gardening stepping stones, so I knew I would stand and lay atop them. The sketchbooks, if laid flat, would also provide excellent weight-bearing, much like a large stack of paper would, and for this reason they were placed underneath the tiles. The rest of my objects were dedicated to making sure I would be stable atop my creation, and the boots served at the insertion point for my body to be pinned into the sculpture. In the second image, I am using the dolly as a stable, comfortable back rest as I lay on it, rather then standing, showcasing other ways the structure holds me up. Finally, I kneeled atop it as a final small pose change to have more of that “sitting” energy.

[amaliaayuningts]

2022 Year-End Reflection: Why Start Bicara Udara & Why More Parents Should Join the Conversation on the Issue

Hello, my name is Amalia. People used to know me as a political activist who fought for independent candidates in the 2017 Jakarta gubernatorial election. Today, I am a mom with two sons aged 3 & 5. In November 2019, when my second child was born, I realized that my two children would grow up in the most polluted area in Indonesia. In mid-July 2019, when I was in my second trimester of pregnancy, Jakarta was named the city with the worst air pollution in the world based on the AirVisual air quality monitoring app. The air quality value (AQI) had even touched a score of 240 which is included in the red color category, aka very unhealthy. At this stage, people should be encouraged to reduce outdoor activities or use masks when traveling. Such news every year never bothered me until I realized that the air my children freely breathe every day is not safe. From then on I was determined to learn and find out about air pollution issues. Yes, my parenthood instinct made me more aware of the risks.

Yes, my parenthood instinct made me more aware of the risks.

When I was a kid, I lived in a village in Jogja close to rice fields. Playing outside and breathing in the fresh air seemed to be the norm. Twenty years later, I didn't think that such memories would be a luxury for my children who live in the city. It feels like the right to clean air is still considered unfamiliar compared to other basic human rights. Clean air is very important for humans. Humans cannot live without air. If we hold our breath for 2 minutes, we will immediately feel dizzy. If we hold our breath for 5 minutes, we will faint and it is dangerous for our vital organs such as the liver, kidneys, and brain. Even Dr. Agus from the Indonesian Lung Doctors Association (PDPI) emphasized that the human lungs actually only work for clean air. If left untouched, this air pollution problem will threaten the lives and development of our children.

Less than a year after my second child was born, the Covid-19 pandemic locked us all into staying at home. I didn't even send my first child to playgroup because there was no face-to-face learning. This condition is not easy for all parents. And again the problem is the virus in the air we breathe. These problems in the air make me want to do something. Because air pollution and covid-19 are not problems that I can solve alone and I believe protection against both needs to be voiced and fought for.

I read many journals and articles about air pollution that I found online and asked many friends who I considered to have expertise on air pollution issues in Indonesia. The more I read, the more difficult it was to understand the problem on my own because it is not only about science, health, and environment, but also about economics, public policy, and politics. To complicate matters further, the effects of air pollution are slow and often invisible. It's no wonder it's not a priority issue because many people don't know the dangers that lie ahead. Luckily, I met other mothers who were furious about this problem and did not want to remain silent. We then established Bicara Udara, a community of learning citizens and became active citizens to encourage and oversee the improvement of air quality in Jabodetabek.

The more I read, the more difficult it was to understand the problem on my own because it is not only about science, health, and environment, but also about economics, public policy, and politics.

Almost 3 years old, the air pollution problem in Jabodetabek is still like a puzzle that we have not finished solving. We still see the air pollution problem in our days. Although we have met our path with NGOs, think tanks, academics, and the government pushing for improvements, we still need more parents to find out about this problem and do something about it. As Mother's Day approaches, I wanted to write down my concerns and share them so that I can meet more parents who want to participate in the Bicara Udara community.

These past few months I have had the opportunity to continue my studies at the University of Glasgow, the clean air that I feel every day here should also be felt by residents in Jabodetabek. As much love as we pour into our children, as much pain as we endure for them, it is only natural that we should leave a good quality of life for them.

[themarquesman]

Colour and Consumer Behaviour

Ber, N (2018) reminds us that Greek Philosopher, Aristotle's placed the sense of "sight" at the top of the senses hierarchy. Behind sight he listed hearing second, then smell, followed by taste, and finally, touch.

While there may be hotly contested debate over the accuracy of Aristotle’s sequencing, one thing that is universally agreed is the fact that we, as humans, are visual beings. Sight ranks as importantly for us as hearing is to bats; the sense of smell is to dogs, or taste is to sharks. (Though some argue sharks’ sensing of blood is closer to smell that taste. I digress!).

The point I’m making about being dominantly visual beings is that if I challenge myself to picture an apple in my mind, boom! There it is! But when I challenge myself to recall the smell of an apple, it’s a trickier path to an answer.

So, what does that mean to the world of Graphic Design? In a word, “everything”.

As Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) puts it, ‘color can be an important, controllable marketing variable for managing image standardization because a product’s color can function not only as an immediate identifier of its brand but also its quality and price.’

Let's pause there for a second. That’s a huge amount of information – (a) product identification, (b) quality and (c) price – all transacted to the consumer through that highly diagnostic stimulant, color.

The colour green for example, in the dairy section represents Low Fat Milk; in the meats section it’s dominant on much chicken packaging (presumably to nod towards mental images of chickens roaming free in rolling green fields; in the soft drinks aisle it’s the brand beacon for Sprite.

As Gil S, Le Bigot L (2014) says, ‘Colors carry information that goes far beyond esthetics, owing to their emotionally meaningful associations. They can therefore transcend their physical nature and take on a psychological meaning.’

And when I consider the findings of Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) which propose ‘that colour drives 62-90% of all consumer purchasing decisions.’ It becomes a hugely important consideration in the function of design.

How do these truths influence the way I work? How do they help solve creative problems? Well, on the one hand it provides some very helpful compass bearings when approaching graphic design briefs. If I’m working on a toothpaste brief, probably stay away from yellow. Working on beef packaging? I might want to try a foundational colour combination of red and black. An organic product? Let’s look at those greens, etc.

Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) suggests that these associations are in all likelihood conditioned into us over time, as our brain connects specific colors with corresponding sensory triggers (like specific flavors, tastes or smells.

However, the Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) findings also encourage caution when designing across borders and/or cultures. It's broadly thought that the reason Cadbury's has forever struggled to get traction in Japan is that the color purple is directly associated with death in Japanese culture.

Below is an interesting lift from the Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) research.

Now for a piece of the research that I don’t wholeheartedly agree with…

Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) warns against using unusual packaging colors. they argue that when colors don't align with categories 'correctly' it delivers a sensory misconnect. This, in their opinion, can cause confusion in the minds of the target audience, and ultimately frustration. This, they argue, can do real harm to the brand.

While I understand where this argument is coming from, I do think the opportunity is there for a brand to become a runaway success by challenging the category norms. Take for example, the mountain-spring water brand “Liquid Death”.

Jet black tall-boy style can with gold graphics for their sparkling water, and white can with gold graphics for their still offering.

The first time I saw these, I thought they were a European beer brand that had been mistakenly unpacked onto the shelves in the water aisle. They have chosen to challenge every single category design norm. Beautiful rolling lake? Nope. A rolling severed head; Clean, fresh wateraisle typography? Er, try thrash metal gothic; A gentle, feel-good brand line? Like “Live Young” or something similar perhaps? Wrong again – try “Murder Your Thirst”. And consumers can’t get enough of it. The fact that they are off-pattern and counter-culture has pulled Gen Z pester-power into the water category. A torture usually reserved for the candy and crisps arena.

That got me thinking about applying the ‘Liquid Death’ treatment to a random regular household product to see what it’ll do. Results are below...

I think there’s something to be said for this category busting design approach!

In closing, the Spence, S, Velasco, C. (2018) research looks to the future. They believe that up until now assumptions surrounding color and what colors relate to in terms of category, products and even flavors has been pretty set in stone. They do however recognize that this is likely to evolve as greater cross-cultural influences metamorphosize and shift the meanings of colors. Now, THAT I agree with.

I think we are going to be seeing more establishment and reinforcement of category norms, and if Liquid Death is anything to go by, we’ll also be seeing a rise of outlaw brands rising up to challenge them.

The new horizons never looked so colorful.

Sources:

Baer, N. (2018) Theories of Media, Keywords Glossary, The University of Chicago. https://csmt.uchicago.edu/glossary2004/taste.htm

Gil S, Le Bigot L (2014) Seeing Life through Positive-Tinted Glasses: Color–Meaning Associations. PLoS ONE 9(8): e104291.

Spence, C., Velasco, C., (2018) On the multiple effects of packaging colour on consumer behaviour and product experience in the ‘food and beverage’ and ‘home and personal care’ categories, Food Quality and Preference.

[blue-opossum]

Writing on a Table in a School

        2 minutes and 20 seconds to read.

        Thursday morning, 24 November 2022.

        Writing on a Table in School

        Dream #: 20,429-01.

        My dream's narrative builds on proto-cognizance with an unknown school setting. It is a large room with at least four long tables, similar to the ones in the enormous cafeteria in my middle school. The table's surfaces are cream-colored with irregular tan patches.

        At one point, an unknown male is watching a science-fiction movie that involves human-like robots on a spaceship with a "brain" that separates and flies around as drones the size of tiny insects.

        At one point, the "movie" seems to be a computer game the young man is playing.

        I pick up a paperback book to read. It has similar imagery as the movie or game, but the "brains" of the robots are cooked spaghetti strands rather than small drones. They supposedly still fly.

        As I turn the pages, the man points to my left hand, saying a fly landed on it. When I look at the area, I do not see a fly, but there is ambiguity in where the page's edge ends - as if a little curve extends from about the middle of the left edge of the page. There is minimal somatosensory phasing with this response.

        Using a sizeable felt marker, I write text on the table's surface because several students had written various jokes and informative sentences about their educational activities.

        My main focus is on a "joke" I create, similar to the others where a book title and its author create wordplay, but it does not make much sense. I write a "joke" about a book titled "Modern Gaming." The author is "Hit Ormiss." I write it again as "Hitor Miss." There is ambiguity in trying to establish its intent. It should be "Miss Hitor," but that does not create the "hit or miss" pun. (Confusion about words and phrases is typical of dreams, one of the reasons "dream interpretation," in contrast to understanding causality, is daft.)

        At another point, I see that there is scribbling in one area. I fill it in with solid coloring. I notice an unfamiliar woman who may be a teacher, but she does not react to what I am doing. I now wonder if writing on the table is problematic. I look towards another table several feet behind me and see pale spots as if someone scrubbed the writing off the table's surface (even though there was no transition indicating this).

        I think there is a lot of writing needing removal, and the table's surface should be clear. I think I might have to do some of this work because of all the writing and scribbling I did. However, I soon realize it would be pointless because I am not navigating reality. I feel a sense of gratitude upon waking.

        Dreams changing their implications in the same timeline is another reason most "interpretation" makes no sense and is one of many attributes that starkly distinguish them from reality or realism. Although it seems students writing on the table's surface is a good idea and a welcome activity in the school, the student's writing is immediately gone when I look again (and I am aware it had been gone for a long time). My dream contradicts the elements of its narrative (twice - as the student's writing appears again after it was supposedly scrubbed) and the ideas I associate with it (and how I feel about it).

[gltzpzy]

thank u for the tag @cupcakeinat0r <3

Do you make your bed?

yup ! it’s the first thing i do in the morning so i won’t lay in it all day lol

Favourite number?

28 and 111, its the number on my brother’s jersey and i associate the angel number w/ him <3

What's your job?

babysitter !

If you could go back to school, would you?

i’m in school rn LOL but if we’re talking abt highschool.. no

Can you parallel park?

i’m a passenger princess idk how to drive

Do you think aliens are real?

duh!!!! ain’t no way were the only living things in the universe

Can you drive a manual car?

again, passenger princess, can’t drive

What's your guilty pleasure?

like cupcake, i have the same interests as a kid 😭 pass me the remote and im immediately putting on either spongebob or one of the barbie movies (thumbelina is my fav <33) while drawing or playing with slime LOL (i was one of those kids who sold slime, made $150 leshgo)

i’m also a retired theatre kid so i’ll always have hamilton, heathers, mean girls the musical and hairspray playing in my headphones 😭

Tattoos?

i have a very faded stick and poke tattoo from my rebellious teens days on my ass that my ex did (it’s a little heart) but other than that no LOL, but i’m planning on getting a malu this year

Favourite color?

purple and pink!!!!!!!

Favourite type of music?

i’m very versatile and will listen to every genre (including country, before he cheats will always be MY karaoke song) but my fave genres are rnb, rap & pop

my fave artists rn are beyonce, doja cat, kendrick lamar, sza, ariana grande, chloe x halle, kehlani, summer walker, solange, kali uchis & mariah the scientist <3

Do you like puzzles?

yes they help my brain juices pump

Any phobias?

WHATEVER THE PHOBIA IS CALLED FOR HEIGHT!! and this might b weird but feet as well 😭 hate it. cant stand it. stop.

Favourite childhood sport?

played rugby and netball growing up, rugby was def my fave (ily netball but i got bored). i would always b centre no matter what, i’m telling u little alicia could run yards and still dodge tackles like THAT, i really miss it 😭 ever since hs i was too busy to continue it but i’m hoping to pursue rugby again after i graduate because its genuinely such a fun sport and i love tackling people LMFAO

Do you talk to yourself?

kinda? i don’t do the fake interviews or scenarios ppl do but if i have a task i’ll just say “oh i gotta __” and that’s kinda it

What movies do you adore?

not a movie gyal but my all time faves are mean girls, atsv and midsommar (and jumanji LOL)

Coffee or tea?

tea! #british

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

can’t remember what i wanted to be first but either a dancer or an astronaut 😭 i would beg my mum to take me to dance lessons and space events all the time

no tags because y’all already @‘d my moots😭😭😭😭😭

Thank you for the tag @sleketon666

Do you make your bed?

Yes, on the weekends especially, but If I don't make the bed my partner does. 

Favourite number?

17, Idk just a good number.

What's your job?

I won’t get specific, but I do stuff that involves art on the daily. 

If you could go back to school, would you?

Maybe, just to get my masters. But as of now definitely not doing that. 

Can you parallel park?

Yes! I’m not the best but I have done it before.

Do you think aliens are real?

Yes, I think there's just no way there isn’t other life out there.

Can you drive a manual car?

Nope

What's your guilty pleasure?

Writing smut and drawing cocks. But also pop music and cheesy romances.  

Tattoos?

None, but my partner does!

Favourite color?

Like a light blue

Favourite type of music?

I like many different types…Just anything but country.

Do you like puzzles?

Yeah sometimes. 

Any phobias?

I don’t know what the phobias are called, but I am scared of deep murky water and also the dark (don’t judge me…) 

Favourite childhood sport?

I used to like volleyball and basketball 

Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, all the time. 

What movie(s) do you adore?

Pride And Prejudice, Sixteen candles, 10 things I hate about you, and the original Halloween. Plus many many more. (Fun fact about me, I quote movies all the time so much it’s become a game between me and my mother) 

Coffee or tea?

Neither….I don't like bitter drinks

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I wanted to be a vet and then for a long time I wanted to be a mortician. 

No pressure tags-

@cinnasalmon @dark-and-kawaii @dutifullylazybread @lazyjellyfish300 @lemonsrosesandlavender @drizztdohurtin