#bentley wiseturtle
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musical rambling #3
i've done the two Beauties (as in, brains brawn beauty (and then the guru)) so i think that means... brains next ? aka bentley's turn !
regardless of my status i feel the psa should still apply-- i've got no idea if this makes sense to anyone but me. ''<:]
angle ; emma harner
you know i'm not entirely sure how this became my number one bentley song actually ? i do know it was very early into the process for my reboot and i immediately attached it to jailbreak- and by extension, to bentley :]
as per usual with these, analysis/breakdown under the cut <3 this one's a little less specific/in-depth because a lot of my association for this is based on Vibes and Reboot. but i've managed some things >:3c
now it is important to note that as i said this is very Jailbreak to me and not a lot of anything else and that Will be reflected. sorry but not really lol.
"High above the color of your conversation / I'm asking if your lips could move / The way they do in my imagination / All's well for now, just tell me how we lose"
okay so i mostly have thoughts for the "all's well for now, just tell me how we lose" however those are very much so reboot-based and not canon based sooooo. not a lot for right here. BUT. i cannot find the post for the life of me (hellsite fr) but there's a post somewhere that points out that sly 2 is very much so about losing in general; sly & murray get arrested, the clockwerk parts are reclaimed, clock-la Exists tm, bentley's spine, etc.
in a canon jailbreak context, i suppose "just tell me how we lose" is probably mostly bentley being an anxious little dude. it esp. reminds me of murray being all Spicy tm; "all's well for now" and it's "tell me how we lose" bc he's with sly, but they're still losing bc murray is Losing His Mind.
as for the beginning ..... shrug emote? i'm imagining him saying it to sly, but i'm not entirely sure why.
"I don't wanna be a world / Would you mind if I orbit a bit, I'm"
bentley is so incredibly stressed out all the time, especially during jailbreak when he's flying solo. i'm sure the week vacation they take is just as much for him to relax as it is for murray to shake off the spice-ness because ancient knows he needs it ! he needs a nap and a hug
"Hanging on to what I've heard / When it comes to you, I don't forget"
okay back into the throes of jailbreak here bentley's "hanging on to what [he's] heard" is very much so him running recon on the contessa with his weird ass sound vibration darts. "when it comes to you, i don't forget" is ALSO very him at the contessa but that's also mostly Vibes.
what's he not forgetting? who's to say. possibly himself, if the contessa were to get her weird-ass lobster claws on him. but in general this is just very Running Recon tm.
"Delirious, a fear of us / It's fine, but why so serious?"
this one is BLUE. that's intentional. this is moreso associated w/ jailbreak than with bentley specifically and therefore there's some sly shenanigans in there. "delirious, a fear of us" is almost too easy to apply to sly and murray while murray is literally trying to murder him while they're messing with the agitators.
and, taking canon and running with it, "it's fine, but why so serious?" is absolutely sly downplaying the effect the prison had on him because that's just How he Is. there's no way one is not Traumatized tm from the extended visit to the contessa in general, and he was in the hole for Who Knows How Long. and of course it would be bentley who is being serious because like sly That's Just How He Is. he sees right through sly's facade.
"It's a metaphor how to flip the table / When my breathing slows down, I'll find an angle"
flipping the table is actually just him saving his brothers <3
WHEN MY BREATHIN' SLOWS DOWN, I'LL FIND AN ANGLE... say hello to the line that started it all (affectionate) that's bentley during the predator awakes' getaway!! that's his sleepless week of data crunching !! it just. AUGH. it's so very That.
"(Flip the table, find an angle / When my breathing slows down I'll)"
read as: the moment he can (aka when his "breathing slows down") he's gonna make for his brothers and come up with a plan (aka flipping the table & finding an angle.) it's just so very much jailbreak.
"I watch you dance for the apocalypse / It's not like you'd be running"
okay so i think in rebootiverse "it's not like you'd be running" is the current title for his journey to prague but that's gonna change p soon here sooo. anyway
thinking about this harder i think this is kind of. bentley about sly n' carmelita esque. i know that doesn't happen until A Tangled Web but it's just a matter of principal y'know. the "you" is of course sly and presumably "the apocalypse" metaphorically speaking is carmelita herself. bc sly's got a big heart and is a goober and will save the cop that's only making their job harder.
"And we both know I'm a colossal mess / Attempts to sate just agitate this longing"
[bentley voice] "the long walk out of the jungle gave me time to reflect, and with each passing step, my sense of isolation grew. shockingly, my comrade's absence was having a profound emotional effect on me!"
i think that... explains itself
(note: replay of the chorus)
"I flipped the table, I did / I love the way that you give / And if this angle's a bit unstable, I'll live"
AND THE HAPPY ENDING <3 these all have very different meanings they're just grouped together bc they are the happy ending lol.
i flipped the table i did - smiley face. bentley proved that he can kick ass on his own and saved his brothers
i love the way that you give - something something sappy for his brothers something something The Wizard something something
and if this angle's a bit unstable, i'll live - character development the beloved. like okay sly 1 and early sly 2 bentley is very rigid and stick to the plan and no, sly, shooting yourself out of a cannon is NOT a good thing!
but then jailbreak comes along and he's forced to do a lot of scrappy improv and he learns that he's actually really good at this. which paves the way for our much more calm cool & collected bentley that we see in sly 3 !!
bentley's character development is my absolute favorite thing, can you tell ? :]
#i'm friends with emma harner's little sibling :D#sly cooper#bentley cooper#bentley wiseturtle#[toe tappin']#[soliloqueue]
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ROUND 0 MATCH 6
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost In The Shell (1995)) vs. Bentley Wiseturtle (Sly Cooper)
#round 0#l33t hax0r tournament#motoko kusanagi#ghost in the shell#ghost in the shell 1995#bentley wiseturtle#bentley the turtle#sly cooper#bentley sly cooper
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"The truth is, I really want to know the past of Murray and Bentley. On an old page they say that Bentley had a lot of siblings and his surname was 'Wiseturtle', but I would like an official answer."
Confessed by: Anonymous
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The Lines We Cross - Chapter 7
Bentley Comes Through
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See you met me at an interesting time And if my past is any sign of your future You should be warned before I let you inside
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The pit stop turned out to be a tiny store in Nebraska an eight-hour car drive away, sandwiched between a tattoo parlor and a private attorney's office on a quiet street in a quiet town. “Wiseturtle Tech” was emblazoned over the front. Sly stared up at the blocky, faded lettering and was thoroughly unimpressed.
“I don’t understand why you don’t just ask your boss for a new weapon,” he said for the hundredth time since they’d started the impromptu detour. “Seems a lot easier than going out of your way to a podunk place like this.”
“Shock pistols aren’t manufactured en-masse,” the cop admitted. “They’re custom weaponry that only higher ranks like inspectors can have. I didn’t want to ask Barkley for a new one right after he gave me so much expensive equipment already, and it would have taken a while for them to ship a new one, anyway.”
“What about a regular gun, then? Doesn’t Interpol have those?”
“They do…” Her lips thinned. “I just don’t like using them.”
“...Right.” He gave the storefront another once-over, then turned to look at her holster where her broken pistol was tucked safely away. “So, what makes you think some random tech guy can salvage a mess like that?”
“You'll see.”
Inspector Fox pushed open the door to let them both inside. A little bell overhead chimed in response, but no one was actually at the desk to greet them. The counters behind the desk were covered in dismantled machinery – phones, laptops, kitchen appliances, and a million other things Sly couldn’t identify. The one intact computer sitting on the desk had a screensaver of a little green turtle head bouncing aimlessly off the edges of the screen.
There was a wall offering various tech and accessories, so the raccoon wandered over that way. “Great customer service. Really selling me on this place.”
“Oh, shush.” She stepped up to the counter and rang the service bell. “Hello? Anyone home?”
A large pink hippo in a gray uniform shirt poked his head out of one of the back doorways. His eyes widened and a big goofy grin grew on his face as he recognized the person who had called for him.
“Hi Miss Fox!”
“Hi, Murray,” she greeted him with a warm smile. “Is Bentley here? I could really use his help.”
The hippo nodded emphatically. “Yeah! I’ll go get him right now for you!”
He disappeared from sight again, and she gave Sly a smug look, who only shrugged and went back to studying the wall of stuff. It was a bizarre mix, really – half of what was on sale looked brand new, state of the art and built for the latest tech trends, while the other half looked like it had been lifted from a RadioShack in the eighties. Even if the single camera he’d noted in one ceiling corner was just for show, nothing here was really worth taking. Not for his needs, anyway.
There was a clatter as Murray bounded back out from his hiding place, followed by a tiny turtle with giant spectacles and a little red bowtie over his shirt that matched his coworker’s. He climbed onto the chair across the desk from where the cop stood and only gave Sly a brief glance.
“Hello, Inspector Fox. It’s been a while,” he said in the most nasally voice the raccoon had ever heard. “Is your computer having issues again?”
“No. I’m here for something else today.” She lifted her ruined shock pistol and placed it carefully onto the counter.
Bentley’s mouth fell open. “What did you do to it?”
“Work-related. It was overloaded with electricity, but I can’t really share any more details than that,” she hurriedly dismissed with a wave of her hand. “Do you think you can fix it?”
“I can…certainly try.” The turtle picked it up by the handle between two fingers, as if afraid it might explode. “You know, every time I think I’ve seen every way someone can destroy their tech, you always manage to surprise me.”
“I will take that as a compliment!” She shot a glare at Sly when he snorted. “So, how long will you need?”
“A few hours at least. And that’s if I already have all the parts to replace anything damaged beyond repair. Otherwise, it could be anywhere between a few days to a few weeks.”
The inspector grimaced and shook her head. “If you can’t fix it within the day, don’t bother. It would be faster to get a new one.”
“Alright.” His gaze flickered over to the raccoon, who stared back impassively. “I’ll, uh, give you a call when I know for sure what the time estimate will be.”
“Thanks, Bentley.”
As they left the store together, Sly met Murray’s curious gaze. The hippo gave him a smile as wide as he had Inspector Fox, and Sly couldn’t help but give an awkward attempt at one back.
“Well, it looks like we have some time to kill,” he said the moment the doors swung closed behind them. “What’s the plan while we wait?”
She chewed her lip. “I need to figure out which member of the Five to go after first. And you still haven’t given me that evidence yet, Ringtail.”
“I will, don’t worry. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t high-tail it out of that apartment and leave me stranded.”
The two of them got back in her car, and the fox gave him a long, searching stare. “You’re really going through with this, huh.”
It wasn’t entirely a question. He’d let his emotions slip a little more than he’d wanted the other night, and she had seen his conviction because of it. Even so, he’d had a day and a half since then to think over his decision to rub shoulders with a cop – one from Interpol, no less – and although he had plenty of misgivings, Sly still believed it was his best option for now.
He might know where most of the Five were holed up these days, but that would only get him so far on his own. She had resources, and a seemingly genuine interest in seeing justice served, and it would be so much easier to let her blaze through their hideouts and move stealthily in the chaos she created than trying to break in by himself – especially once they realized he hadn’t been arrested like the rest of Muggshot’s goons. The last place they would ever expect to find him was at the side of the cop who was out to bust them all.
And, after seeing how she had miraculously won a one-on-one battle against the bulldog, he almost dared to believe that he’d be safe with her even if they did find him.
“Yeah, I am,” he answered, honest for once in his life, before pulling out the precious information she so desperately wanted. “Here. For your peace of mind.”
The cop grabbed them and began reading immediately. Her lips moved without sound as she did so; it was a small, almost endearing detail that made his mouth twitch just a little bit upwards.
“These are emails,” she finally said in hushed excitement. “Emails between some of the Five. Muggshot, Sir Raleigh, and Mz. Ruby. But…why would he print them out?”
Because they always wipe their communications but Muggshot has the memory of a gnat, he didn’t say out loud. “Probably because he doesn’t know how to tell the difference between print’ and ‘delete’. You’ve met the guy.”
Inspector Fox hummed, only half listening. Her nose was buried in papers. Sly had already read them while waiting on the roof of her motel, and he knew what she was going to find. He pulled the car seat back until it was nearly horizontal, flipped his hood up over his eyes, and laid his linked hands behind his head like he was going to take a nap.
“The most recent communications are between Muggshot and Mz. Ruby,” she mumbled to herself, “from the same day that I busted him. And the ones between him and Sir Raleigh are from two weeks ago. That’s interesting.”
“Mhm.”
“They all seem to be talking about the same thing,” the fox continued, in a slow, thoughtful tone. “Some kind of special package they’d been ferrying back and forth. Raleigh to Muggshot, and then Muggshot to Mz. Ruby.”
Sly stared at the tiny threadbare stitching of the inside of his hood.
“But…” She tapped a line on the page. “It looks like the latter two settled on a transfer date that’s still another week away. Whatever they were smuggling between them, it never made it to the alligator before Muggshot was arrested.”
He was so still he was barely breathing. “Doesn’t seem like it.”
“I wonder what that package was. These emails are so vague, all I can really tell is that it was probably fragile and priceless, and with all the stolen stuff we found in his penthouse, almost anything could fall under those categories.”
“Well, no use getting our tails in a twist over something they’re never going to get their hands on again,” Sly said, a little curter than he meant to.
She shifted next to him, obviously surprised by his blunt brush off, but then went back to reading without saying anything about it. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, the cop straightened in her seat.
“We’ve got locations!” She exclaimed. “The last transfer point was in Wales, and the next scheduled one is supposed to be in Haiti. That must be where Raleigh and Mz. Ruby are hiding out right now. I wonder what kind of awful schemes they’re involved in. Everyone had been speculating that the Five had gone into hiding in some kind of criminal retirement, but these clearly indicate otherwise.”
“I dunno a single thing about any of that, but between Wales and Haiti, I vote we go to Haiti first.”
“Why Haiti?”
The raccoon finally lifted the fabric from his eyes to look sideways at her. “Two reasons. Number one is that Haiti is way closer to the States than Wales is, and if Mz. Ruby hasn’t heard about Muggshot’s arrest by next week, then you have a chance to catch her at the exact time and place she’s planning to make that exchange with him.”
An exact time and place he was going to avoid like the plague if he could help it.
“Number two is that Mz. Ruby has premonition. The longer you leave her out there, the more likely she’ll look into the future, see her own arrest and disappear, or see her partners’ arrests and warn them to disappear. Then you’re screwed either way.”
“That’s true, but –” she paused suddenly, and narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion. “Wait. How do you know about Mz. Ruby’s powers?”
“Are you kidding? It’s one of the things she’s most famous for besides literally summoning the undead. Just because Interpol has its special top-secret info doesn’t mean some stuff doesn’t reach public knowledge.”
Sly held her gaze without blinking until she backed down with an acknowledging nod. Her wariness was frustrating but understandable, especially because of how she wasn’t wrong to have it.
Just for all the wrong reasons.
“Okay. Haiti, then.” Inspector Fox pulled out a tiny notebook from her jacket’s front pocket and began scribbling down notes as she scanned the printed emails again. “That’s going to be about a long flight, so I need to book plane tickets for the earliest possible flight I can find for two people.”
He must have let something show on his face about that, because she huffed and gave him an impatient look.
“What now?”
“Nothing. I just – I didn’t think we’d be flying.” As soon as it left his mouth, he regretted it. She stared at him like he was an idiot.
“How else are we supposed to get there, Ringtail?” She asked sarcastically. “By car?”
“No. I just…I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. You don’t have to be crappy about it.”
The cop began to open her mouth again, and he just knew she was going to pry into things she had no business knowing. With an irritated sigh, Sly readjusted his seat into something actually vertical again so he could be level with her in more ways than one.
“I’m just not the biggest fan of flying, alright?”
The sharp retort prepared on her tongue vanished in the wake of confusion. “You’re not? How come?”
“Consider it a phobia. It paralyzes me.”
She squinted at him. He met her eyes without hiding anything. The truth was the truth, and he could see her defensiveness easing away as she realized it.
“Oh. Well, I’m sure we can get you something to help. Over the counter anxiety meds, maybe.”
The raccoon let out an audible snort. “Nothing short of Klonopin is going to help me with that. Trust me, I speak from experience.”
Before the inspector could respond to that, her cell phone suddenly went off. She answered it immediately albeit with a sharp glance his way, as if to say their conversation was far from over.
“Hello? Oh! Bentley, thanks for calling back, I – okay. Okay. But you – you can? Great! Thank you so much! Yes, we’ll come back later.”
Sly picked at the seams of his gloves, waiting patiently until the fox ended the call.
“He says most of the damage was in the charge port, and he has the spare parts for it,” she told him the moment she hung up. “But it’s going to take the rest of the day even if he skips the other projects that were in line before mine.”
“All day, huh? Pretty sure we’ll have figured out a route to Haiti way before then. That’s a lot of time to kill.”
To his surprise, she shook her head. “Not for me. I have to check in with my superiors about my plan to go after Mz. Ruby first, and get an update on the evidence they’ve been sorting through from the bust on Muggshot. If there’s any new information about his cohorts, I need to know as soon as possible.”
“Sounds…fun.”
“That’s one way of putting it.” The cop gave him a particular look that he decidedly didn’t like. “But it’s all confidential, and I can’t risk you eavesdropping on my phone calls again.”
“I thought we’d already established that it wasn’t actually eavesdropping if your boss was yelling so loud I could hear him across the room.”
“Regardless,” she continued, irritation seeping into her voice, “you can’t be around me for that. I’m not risking it happening again.”
Sly sat up straighter in his seat, not liking at all where this was going. “What, so you’re just going to kick me out of the car for the next six, seven hours ‘til you’re done? What am I supposed to do – sit on the curb with my chin in my hands all day?”
Inspector Fox began working her jaw; a tic he was starting to notice meant she was deep in thought instead of merely frustrated. Her eyes drifted up and down his hoodie.
“How prepared are you for a long-term trip?”
And that was how Sly found himself standing in front of a general merchandise store, watching his cop companion drive away, with the two-hundred US dollars she’d handed him in his pocket and explicit instructions to buy everything he needed for travel.
It didn’t bother him that she could tell he didn’t have many belongings to his name – the fact that he was still wearing the same clothes nearly two days after they’d first met had probably clued her in – but it did bother him that she seemed to think he didn’t have any money. It made sense, because to her he was just a civilian who’d probably been robbed and then captured by Muggshot’s men, but it still smarted his ego as a thief.
With a huff, the raccoon entered the store, grabbed a shopping cart, and made a beeline for the aisle with portable suitcases. Then he made a beeline for the clothing section.
It had been a long time since he’d been able to pick out things for himself. Clothes were always a necessity provided for him by the Five, and only when his previous stuff was starting to get threadbare. A few new shirts, and pants, and a pair of shoes if they were feeling generous. The hoodie he was wearing was courtesy of being stuck in stormy Wales for nearly a month before he’d come to Mesa, because as much as Raleigh hated spending money on the “orphan waif”, he hated having to deal with a sick orphan waif even more.
Even with his newfound freedom, Sly found himself following the same patterns he’d been forced to follow for over half his life; three shirts, three pairs of pants, and a single new pair of shoes were all he put in his cart. He only realized what he was doing when he compared the amount of clothes to the size of the suitcase he’d chosen. There was still far too much space left even if he added his backpack and what he was wearing.
That realization prickled his fur and made his cheeks burn, and so he doubled back and forced himself to pick another two of each despite the voice in his head screaming that he was being greedy for it.
Next up were toiletries.
The raccoon’s toothbrush was already safely tucked away in a side pocket on his backpack, something he’d always done just in case there was ever a chance for him to make a break for it, but everything else had been left behind when he’d been unexpectedly forced out of his room. He began pulling things off the shelves at random as he saw them – toothpaste, shampoo, a fur brush, nail clippers, a pack of razors, and so on and so forth. At one point he passed a jumbo first aid kit and added that to the growing pile as well, knowing that if he got hurt, he would have to rely on himself instead of the cop. She probably didn’t even know how to properly pack a stab wound; much less reset a broken bone or build a makeshift splint.
After that…Sly wasn’t really sure what came after that.
Inspector Fox had promised to be back to pick him up in a few hours, but he still had quite a lot of time to kill. He’d already gotten all the essentials he needed, and there was really nothing else to get that wasn’t wasting space and money.
For a brief minute he toyed with the idea of swinging by the pharmacy and swiping someone’s anxiety prescription meds if he could find something strong enough to last him the upcoming plane ride he was already dreading, but quickly nixed the thought. That was a particularly scummy thing to do even with his skewed ideals. He’d just have to suck it up.
He ended up wandering store aisles, looking at things that held no interest or use to him. So many frivolous, stupid things that people bought. Why buy a toaster and a toaster oven? Why get more than one bed spread unless you absolutely needed a new one? Why spend money on three different kinds of the same food?
Muggshot and Raleigh both loved to do things like that. Sly had lost count of how many times he’d watched the frog import wine worth thousands of Pounds a bottle, or the bulldog order glitzy chandeliers to hang from the ceiling of every room he spent more than an hour in. As a kid who had lived middle class until the night his world was shattered, it had confused him. As an adult who had spent the last eleven years surviving off what little he could get, it infuriated him.
At least Inspector Fox didn’t seem to be like that. Her accommodations were cramped, and a little dingy, but he would take it over glittering fakeness any day of the week. Well, except for maybe that shiny red convertible. That thing stuck out like a sore thumb and he very much hoped she’d ditch it before getting any further in this case.
Something caught his eye in the electronics section.
It was a digital camera, small enough to fit in his hoodie’s front pocket, advertised for taking quality pictures for scrapbooking needs and family vacations. SD card and charger port sold separately but at a bargain, it claimed, and the raccoon didn’t realize how long he’d been looking at it until he noticed an employee approaching him from the corner of his eye.
“That’s a really nice camera,” the deer said, giving him a smile perfected for customer service. “Are you interested? I can take it out of the case for you.”
Sly looked at them, then at the price tag. Two-hundred dollars with all the added accessories. He had nearly four-thousand from what he’d swiped from Muggshot. This would barely put a dent in that. But it still made him hesitate.
Greedy little thing, hissed the voice in his head, a familiar croak with a British accent. Always asking for more than you deserve.
“Yeah, actually, I am interested,” he said louder than necessary, ignoring the weird look the employee gave him as a result. “I’d love to buy it.”
What was he even going to use a camera for? No idea. But it shut up the stupid voice in his head for the time being and that was all that mattered.
When Inspector Fox pulled up to the sidewalk twenty minutes later in her dumb fancy car, Sly was waiting for her with a mostly-full suitcase, turning the camera over and over in his hands. She helped him load his luggage into the trunk alongside her own and all the strange cop stuff she had – was that a jetpack? – and appeared to be distracted by something that she didn't share.
“Why don’t we get something to eat?” She suggested.
“Sounds good to me.”
They ordered takeout and ate in her car instead of inside, at her request. It was quiet for a few minutes as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts.
“How’d your check-in go?” He asked after a while, surprising them both that he was the one to break the silence first.
“Good. It was good.” She hesitated. “They haven’t found anything useful for my case, though. Just stuff to help put Muggshot away for a very long time. That’s as much as I can tell you.”
“’S fine. I’m not really interested in all that cop mumbo-jumbo, anyway.”
“I figured you wouldn’t be.” There was another heavy pause as she studied him.
“Something I can help you with?”
“Sly…” The use of his first name made him tense. “Did you…”
The inspector stopped, took a deep breath, and steepled her fingers together. The look on her face was pinched and intense.
“I think we need to clear the air before this goes any further.”
Sly slowly brought his fork down from his mouth and eyed her cautiously. There were only a few things that would warrant a statement like that, and all of them made him nervous. “Uh, okay. You have something specific in mind?”
“A few questions.”
“Ask away,” he said, leaning back in his seat as nonchalantly as he could manage. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“Okay. First question, then – you said you didn’t live in Mesa. Where do you live?” Before he could open his mouth, she gave him a sharp look. “Honest answer, Sly. I want to know.”
The raccoon tapped one finger against his thigh, thinking for a moment. “Honest answer? I don’t have a place.”
Her brows furrowed together in an expression he couldn’t read. “You’re homeless?”
“I mean, I’d personally describe it as ‘between homes’ right now, but…yeah. Essentially.”
The strange look morphed into something that he definitely recognized as pity. He would have challenged it if not for wanting very much to keep his cool as she worked through…whatever it was on her mind.
“But you don’t live in Mesa.”
“Nope. Was just passing through. Really unlucky timing on my part, I guess.”
“Fair enough. Second question – do you have any family you could go back to?”
Sly blinked. “No. I don’t.”
“Any living relatives at all?” She pressed. “People who will worry about where you are or what happens to you?”
“Does it look like I do?” He snapped, tail curling around his ankle. “What’s with the twenty questions all of a sudden, huh? Having second thoughts about this whole thing?”
The cop held up her hands placatingly. “I didn’t mean to dredge up anything! I just wanted to make sure this is really something you want to do.”
“I’ve already told you twice that it was.”
“You did,” she conceded. “You’re right, you did.”
“What’s this really about, Inspector? You were just fine this morning and now it sounds more like you’re trying to come up with an excuse to get me off your back. Did –”
A thought occurred to him.
“…Did you tell your boss about this deal of ours? Did he tell you to ditch me, or persuade me to quit?”
She shifted uncomfortably, clearly called out, and a spike of icy fear shot straight through Sly’s heart.
“What did you say?” He demanded. “What did you say about me?”
“Nothing specific,” she was quick to say, watching him in that very peculiar way again. “I told Bar – my superior that I had found a civilian consultant who could help me get to my next target faster than expected. I didn’t tell him your name, or your species, or anything else. But I had to tell him I was traveling with someone, Sly!”
“Why? Is he your dad? Got a curfew you gotta follow, too?”
“He’s my boss, Ringtail. I have to be transparent in this profession or else no one would trust me. I know you have a weird – thing about the police, but I promise you I didn’t share anything that you didn’t consent to.”
He had most certainly not consented to being put on Interpol’s radar, but he kept that rebuke clamped down under an angry locked jaw. He should have expected this from someone like her; of course she would be as by-the-book as possible. The raccoon folded his arms and pointedly stared out the front windshield.
“What did he have to say about your little escort?”
“To do a background check on you and make sure you knew the danger you were getting into,” she told him. “So here I am, trying to do both before dragging you out of the country on a wild goose chase.”
He wondered if she’d tried to do a formal search on any raccoons named Sly. If she had, he knew without a single doubt that she would not have found anything.
“You want a background check? I’ll give you a background check.”
“That’s not –” she started to say, but he cut her off hard.
“I have no living relatives. My parents died when I was young and I’ve been on my own ever since.” He pulled his forged passport out of his backpack and flashed it just enough so she could see what it was but not the full name on it. “I can travel globally anywhere I want. You can do a search on me but you won’t find anything because I don’t have a criminal record. I don’t have any ties to any family, or friends, or anything in this country, so you don’t have to feel bad about ‘dragging’ me along.”
“Sly –”
“And since you’re wondering how I got those emails – because I know you’re wondering – I got them well before you saved me. I went snooping around in Muggshot’s casino while he was clearing out the locals and stumbled onto them right before those mutts you met came across me. They decided that I needed a full tour of their handiwork of the city since I obviously wasn’t scared enough of them and they were too fucking stupid to actually search my backpack because I gave them all the money I had on me when they demanded it.”
Inspector Fox was staring at him with wide eyes. He kept his chin held high.
“Well?” The raccoon challenged. “What do you have to say to that, Inspector?”
Her body seemed to catch up to her brain, because she suddenly leaned forward and locked her gaze with his, searching for deception. He didn’t even flinch.
“…Okay,” she finally conceded, backing down both physically and mentally. “Okay. Thank you, Sly. I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that, but I appreciate the honesty. Honesty is important if we’re going to work together for the foreseeable future.”
It was a foreseeable future he was already starting to regret, but he wasn’t ever going to let her know that.
“Yeah, well…I’m just glad you’re satisfied. It’s not every day I spill my guts like that, especially to –”
“To cops. I know.” She finished for him, and there wasn’t as much annoyance over the barb as he would have expected. “You’re starting to get predictable, Ringtail.”
“Am not,” he grumbled, without quite as much bite in his voice. The confrontation had drained all his energy and left him tired more than anything else. “So did you get a flight planned out, or were you too busy gossiping about me?”
“Yes and no. I was mostly setting up hotel accommodations and making contact with the local Haitian police so we could jump right into work once we get there.” She checked her phone. “We’ve still got another hour to kill before Bentley estimated he’d be done, so there’s plenty of time to look at flights.”
“Great. I can’t think of anything more fun than that.”
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At 5 PM on the dot, with a route established and a flight to catch the next day – which Sly was pointedly not going to think about until he absolutely had to – the two of them reentered Wiseturtle Tech to see Bentley putting the finishing touches on the now-fixed shock pistol. Murray was sitting on a stool nearby to watch him work, idly swinging his legs and making the seat rotate back and forth.
Both employees looked up at the jingle of the doorbell, and both waved. Inspector Fox returned the greeting while Sly just nodded his head.
“I’m almost done, I swear,” the turtle mumbled as he went right back to crossing wires. “I just want to be sure I’m not missing anything.”
“Take your time,” she replied. “I’d rather you triple-check everything than rush a job.”
Her eyes trailed over to the wall of tech, then to Sly, then back. She grabbed his hand very suddenly, startling him.
“Come over here,” the fox said, leading him towards a row of simple flip phones. When he looked between them and her with a raised eyebrow, she sighed as if greatly inconvenienced. “Pick out a burner phone.”
“Why?”
“Since it’s clear we’re doing this together, we’ll need a way to communicate in case we ever get separated, and something tells me you don’t already have one of these.”
He gave her a flat stare, but she carefully avoided looking at him or any aspect of his appearance by gesturing to the electronics instead.
“Go on. It’d make me feel a lot better if I’m going to take you with me.”
Rolling his eyes without any heat behind it, the raccoon picked the cheapest one he could find. The thought of picking a more expensive one since she was paying for it popped up for about half a second, but he squashed it right away. There wasn’t any point in taking advantage of her generosity and potentially making her resent him.
Greedy, hissed Raleigh.
Sly gritted his teeth and practically slammed the phone onto the counter, making Bentley jump and Inspector Fox give him a disapproving look.
“I’ll take this one, please,” he said to the hippo, who had scampered back to his post as an actual employee so he could ring them up for their charges.
“Is this your first ever phone?” Murray asked, sounding strangely excited about the concept.
“Maybe,” he answered warily, watching out of the corner of his eye as Inspector Fox pulled her wallet out while Bentley handed her the fixed shock pistol. “Why?”
“Can I be your first phone number?”
Sly swiveled to look at him, confused. “Uh…why? I’m a stranger to you.”
“Well, sure, but – I mean, the first number in your phone should be someone you can rely on, right? And you can always rely on us to help, no matter the problem!” The hippo started playing with his hands, gaze dropping to the ground. “And – and it’s just…you seem like a really cool guy, too.”
That was…not anything he’d expected to hear at all. Sly blinked, completely caught off guard by the compliment and its sincerity, and didn’t immediately respond.
“...Sure,” he finally said, if only because Murray was starting to wilt like a dying flower as the seconds ticked by without an answer. “I don’t see why not.”
He doubted he’d ever call the guy, or even remember he had his number, but there really wasn’t any harm in letting him plug it in, was there?
The hippo beamed at him, wasting no time in doing so, and then passed the phone along to Inspector Fox, who deftly did the same thing with her own number.
“There.” She handed it to him with a smile. “Now we’re both all set.”
Sly watched her set her fixed weapon back into its holster, and thumbed the new device that was now hiding in his hoodie pocket right next to the camera. “Guess we are.”
“Thanks again, Bentley! And you too, Murray.” The fox waved goodbye to them, and this time the raccoon did the same.
“Bye! Don’t be a stranger!” Murray called after them enthusiastically. His turtle coworker watched them go with a pinched, pensive brow.
The moment they were outside, Inspector Fox pulled her pistol out to weigh it in her hands. She seemed satisfied by whatever she felt, because it went right back where it was supposed to without any further fanfare.
Sly watched her, still feeling the weight of the phone on his person. He’d never had a phone before. He’d never needed one before.
“Okay,” she said, turning to him, and all the levity she’d shown in the tech shop disappeared under determination and anticipation. “Next stop: Haiti.”
“Right.” He could do this. He was ready for this.
“Right after a six-hour flight.”
“.......Right.”
Or maybe not.
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A/N: Transitional chapter is important but still a transition. Hopefully a cameo by our favorite boys makes up for it!
A few notes on this one: 1) I did not mean for Sly to get so hostile near the end there. It was just supposed to be Carmelita questioning him to put her many misgivings to rest, but he apparently decided to take it personally and I wasn't about to tell him otherwise lol.
2) I've always had the headcanon that Sly enjoys photography either because of or separately from doing so much recon. It's such a neat hobby and I feel like it fits his introverted nature. We'll just have to see whether he uses the camera in this verse.
3) It was very fun (and kinda sad) to think up what life might have been like for Bentley and Murray if they had never crossed paths with Sly. While I do think he's the glue that pushed them all together, it's still very likely that the more "mundane" versions of them may have still built lives working with each other. Here specifically, Bentley is the tech guy and Murray helps him with deliveries and heavy lifting. Even so, they've both always felt like something was still missing...
Once again, thank you for reading!
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Phone camera is a binch. Have these awfully captured drawings.
Cooper Follies doodles for practicing body types and revamps
Also:
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Does baily sleep with his dads or does he have his own room?
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Here comes da bois.
Oh shid, waddup
WIP for the Sirens and height chart.
2nd part will feature the Cooper Gang.
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Genral AU where Bentley has a shitload of siblings and they're all geniuses.
And they made their own criminal gang.
Not exactly like the Cooper Gang. But hearing Bentley sharing Sly's family legacy, it excited his siblings to do the same thing. To start a Wiseturtle legacy despite Bentley going off with Sly.
So what is their motive?
Steal from crooked politicians and law enforcement.
They deal with the inner city workings opposed to the Cooper Gang's travel habits and make their way by stopping France from falling under corrupt leading. Their methods are a little crazy, but their matched intelligence helps them as they've slandered, hacked, destroyed, and disrupted several crappy men from even getting a foot in the door or even begin their running for office.
Of course sometimes stuff gets weird. Really weird.
Bentley cannot count the times he and his siblings have ran into eachother. Can count the times his siblings have intentionally avoided him.
One. One time.
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"I'm the Brain boy, I'm the one who smarts"
- Bentley Wiseturtle.
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Shadows of Cooper verse (Sequel to Sirens Subplot)
With the threat of the High Ends done and over with, the Cooper Gang and the Ferry Sirens have quieted down to raise their families in preparation to ready their eldest children to take on the Cooper and Tagg lineage. But everything isn't all sunshine and rainbows as the failure of a daughter of Cooper, the constantly absent son of Wiseturtle and the stir crazy daughter of Hippo have skipped town in order to find themselves and their own roles in life...
THE COOPER-FOX FAMILY
Damien "Sly" Cooper Sly was believed to be the sole heir of the Cooper Clan. A Cooper Gang member, and former High Ends partner, he has a very strained relationship with his ex-lover and daughter as he dedicates his days to leading the Cooper Clan instead of being a family man.
Carmelita Montoya Fox A perceived Inspector of Interpol, Carmelita had chased the Cooper Gang for years until Sly's disappearance from Thieves In Time and revealing to be pregnant with Sly's child afterward to Bentley and Murray's growing fear of the Inspector's interactions. She, Sly, and Rosa have the worst family structure, Carmelita not at all interacting with Rosa past meer fights over Rosa's crumbling civilian facade.
Rosa Cooper-Fox The only child of Sly and Carmelita, the blue fox-coon has grown to possibly suffer from APD as she fails to uphold her family name according to Sly's harsh criticism and Carmelita's fleeting trust she and Rosa barely had in the first place. Rosa depends on passing as an emotionless joker despite having a severe self-loathing issue. She, Moss, and Wanda are the upcoming Cooper Gang, but Rosa is constantly suffering from her own self-doubt that worries her cousins.
Fairytale Cooper-Toffee Fairy, the youngest Ferry Siren, only daughter of Conner Cooper, and only other Cooper beside Sly to take on the Theivius Raccoonus. She's stepped down and has given her own custom sledgehammer-cane to her niece Rosa, as she now is working under Hannah to take over the Ferry Sirens and expand their ranks.
THE WISETURTLE-SWEET FAMILY
Bentley Wiseturtle (Benjiro Katsume) Bentley was unfortunately born into an orphanage without any knowledge of his heritage beside his real name, Benjiro Katsume. He's the retired Brains of the Cooper Gang and father to four very rowdy kids that have for even more misfortune inherited their mother's ability to develop otherworldly powers.
Ida Sweet A hybrid of simple mortals and chaos contrived gods, the 'ox' grew in Mesa City for a time and learned to fight more like a monster than what she's proud to admit. She and Bentley have gotten together some time before stopping the High Ends and now has an elder ox son and three triplet turtle girls that have made her slowly accept her insane power.
Moss Wise-Sweet Moss is the eldest child and only son of Bentley and Ida. Born with the adept ability to shift between timelines (and universes) by melting his mortal shell and pooling elsewhere in the multiverse. Even if very well 'coded' to exist anywhere he pleases, he remains majorly in his born universe to help his family survive his littlest sister who may or may not be the key to destroying the universe.
Aria "Alpha" Wise-Sweet The first triplet of the three turtle girls, Aria has been born able to change her sub-species (Box Turtle to Sea Turtle to Painted Turtle so on and so forth) which makes her a valuable spy for the Ferry Sirens to add on. She works with her sisters Beryl and Gina, wanting best to take charge as the Sirens' new Spy using her shapeshifting to get by.
Beryl "Beta" Wise-Sweet The second triplet, Beryl is nicknamed 'beta' for being second born and a very passive woman. Her power isn't clear but best known to everyone besides her sisters, is somehow connected to her hair. Being the only turtle sibling born with her mother's locks, she is walking around with a new hairstyle every day or so. Best usage of it to her being a Repunzel-esqe fighter and using her long locks to lasso foes.
Gina "Gamma" Wise-Sweet The third triplet and youngest child of the family, Gina is considered the most dangerous of the kids. As her mortal shell isn't very firm, she constantly falls apart and causes the surrounding area to melt, dissolve, or even worse- combust. The only thing that seems to be immune to her toxic eldritch form is nature. That one immunity has inspired her to create out of place nature fashion that miraculous enough, helps keep her mortal form from breaking when traversing any public space.
THE HIPPO-MAUS FAMILY
Murray Hippo Murray was orphaned at the young age of six when his mother was forced off the road by former High Ends associates. He grew up with Sly and Bentley in the orphanage and proceeded to become the first Hippo in centuries not to have a vendetta against a Cooper. He's now the former Muscle of the Cooper Gang and father to an adventure starving mouse and an equally strong, younger hippo.
Penelope Maus An aspiring RC specialist, Competitive Flyer, and current modern day pirate queen, Penelope was once a member of the Cooper Gang and former partner of Bentley's before being kidnapped and temporarily brainwashed to assist Le Paradox and the High Ends to kill The Coopers and Sirens. After being rescued and losing a leg, she was able to make amends with Bentley and fall in love afterward with Murray. The two now having kids even wackier and reckless than them combined.
Wanda Hippo Daughter of Murray and Penelope, Wanda dedicates her life to trying to traverse the multiverse with Moss and Rosa. Interested by the worlds opened up to her, her biggest urges fall into meeting with younger forms of her dad's gang and try to join them. of which Moss and Rosa have to get involved before dragging her away to the next destination.
Marcus Hippo Cursed with his mother's size, Marcus is one born with intense power trapped inside a small, growing body. He doesn't have much interest with traveling or stealing like his father or uncles, but he does enjoy sparring with his cousins to help them prepare for their travels and also watch over the triplets to ensure they don't try to take over Paris. Being a stay at home sibling is tough work.
OTHER FAMILIES
Hannah Tagg Hannah was once a male partner of the Cooper Gang that dealt with an eldritch god to change her gender but at the price of birthing her now beloved eldritch hybrid daughter Ida. She is now leader of the Ferry Sirens, using her last years till retirement to mentor the Gang's youngest member to take over. GrananThe eldritch horror father to Ida and grandfather to Moss, Aria, Beryl, and Gina. He once pretended to be a mortal that helped the older Cooper Gang consisting of Sly and Fairy's father, Conner; father of Bentley, Dr. M; and McSweeney. He made a deal with Hannah to obtain a demi-god child and stupidly enough butted heads with the trigger-happy Muggshot, which only resulted in him losing 20 years in the mortal realm to only play catch-up with his daughter and expanded family.
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"N-no...bentely.....5 more minutes dad....p-please... "
A Pile of Papers and documents are spread across a desk, a pink tail poking out, snoring can be heard from beneath.A Paper with the words “Do not distrub” is setting atop it, as if you where gonna listen.
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[TheFerrySirens HQ] A small fox-coon appears in Bentley's lab holding a burlap sack. "Excuse me?" she holds up a crumpled note, staring at the smudged writing and looking back up. "Can any of you guys tell me where I can find a Mr. Wiseturtle? A Mr. Bentley Wiseturtle?"
Sly: Depends on who’s asking for him.
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THE BRACKET IS HERE!
round 0 (yes, we are starting at 0 just like computers do) will start on march 2 at 12pm EST. the round will be spread out across 4 days to avoid a shadowban, and posts will be tagged as #round 0. the matchups were randomized, so sorry about that! matchups in text form are under the cut:
match 0: Ami Enan (Lupin III Part 5) vs. Harold Finch (Person of Interest)
match 1: Barbara Gordon (Batman) vs. Saburo Yamada (Hypnosis Mic)
match 2: Hackerman (Kung Fury) vs. Piconjo (Newgrounds)
match 3: Lain Iwakura (Serial Experiments Lain) vs. Dr. Alphys (Undertale)
match 4: Sollux Captor (Homestuck) vs. Lucyna Kushinada (Cyberpunk: Edgerunners)
match 5: Breanna Casey (Leverage: Redemption) vs. Saeyoung "707" Choi (Mystic Messenger)
match 6: Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost In The Shell (1995)) vs. Bentley Wiseturtle (Sly Cooper)
match 7: Kururu (Keroro Gunsou) vs. Mei Hatsume (Boku no Hero Academia)
match 8: Nomi Marks (Sense8) vs. Tulip Olsen (Infinity Train)
match 9: Tae Joon "Crypto" Park (Apex Legends) vs. Penny (Pokémon)
match 10: Tux the Penguin (GNU/Linux) vs. Hieronymous "The" Hacker (Cyberchase)
match 11: Elliot Alderson (Mr. Robot) vs. Koushiro "Izzy" Izumi (Digimon Adventure)
match 12: Vanessa A. (Five Night's at Freddy's: Security Breach) vs. Chihiro Fujisaki (Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc)
match 13: Donatello Hamato (Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) vs. Aloe Cookie (Cookie Run: OvenBreak)
match 14: Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club!) vs. Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivruski IV (Cowboy Bebop)
match 15: Spock (Star Trek) vs. Roxy Lalonde (Homestuck)
match 16: Rita (The Penumbra Podcast) vs. Futaba Sakura (Persona 5)
match 17: Entrapta (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) vs. Mickey Smith (Doctor Who)
match 18: Idia Shroud (Twisted Wonderland) vs. Alter Ego (Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc)
match 19: Urushihara Hanzo (The Devil is a Part-Timer!) vs. Alec Hardison (Leverage)
match 20: Root (Person of Interest) vs. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya (Mass Effect)
match 21: Katie "Pidge" Holt (Voltron: Legendary Defender) vs. Penelope Garcia (Criminal Minds)
match 22: Carla Dosa (The Hex) vs. Nicole the Holo-Lynx (Sonic the Hedgehog)
match 23: Dendy (OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes) vs. Toshiko "Tosh" Sato (Torchwood)
match 24: Yasuho Hirose (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: JoJolion) vs. Ezekiel Jones (The Librarians)
match 25: Ritsuko Akagi (Neon Genesis Evangelion) vs. Felicity Smoak (Arrow)
match 26: Robert "Bob" Johansson (We Are Legion (We Are Bob)) vs. Maya Ibuki (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
match 27: Neo (The Matrix) vs. Trinity (The Matrix)
match 28: James T. Kirk (Star Trek) vs. Player Bouchard (Carmen Sandiego (2019))
match 29: Shiang Sun (Shin Megami Tensei: Liberation Dx2) vs. Raimu "Rhyme" Bito (The World Ends With You)
match 30: Susie (Kirby) vs. Miles "Tails" Prower (Sonic the Hedgehog)
match 31: Mikado Ryuugamine (Durarara!!) vs. Fuuka Yamagishi (Persona 3)
#l33t hax0r tournament#round 0#tumblr polls#wew it took longer than i wanted it to but it's here#i put almost every submission on here plus some of my favs#i know not all of them are technically hackers but shhhhh my poll
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I turned the Cooper Gang into marketable plushies. (at least design-wise)
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Funfact!
In the Japanese manual for Thevius Raccoonus, Bentley's last name is listed as Wiseturtle!
Murray is still "the hippo" tho :/
"Bentley and Murray aren't given surnames in-universe like Sly - I know it's because they have less emphasis on family legacy, but I choose to believe they also consider 'Cooper' their surname (at least after a while), because they're basically adoptive siblings to each other."
Confessed by: broken-clover
(They do, their last names are "the turtle" and "the hippo". -Mod)
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So did anybody check him for wires before bringing him here?
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