#but my body temp is normal i just checked

[beauzos]

covid is a really frightening illness honestly. both times i've gotten it i've had very mild symptoms-- i'm already getting better since yesterday but it's very frightening to have. it's why i got the test in the first place, because i got scared about having it again. like i guess it's knowing it COULD be bad that's really frightening even though i'm like. fine.

that said i did just experience some weird symptoms and that got me super nervous but whatever, it's fine

[kooqitas]

#pairing: crush!jungkook x reader.

#genre: smut MINORS DNI | #w.c: ~1100

#synopsis: where jungkook finds out you have a crush on him and well… you end up in his bed

#warnings: vaginal sex, unprotected sex, a little teasing and a… cute ending?

★ m.list | inbox :D join my taglist

the story is a bit complicated, so i'll keep it short.

min yoongi is your best friend, you practically grew up together and even though now, because of college, you don't see each other every week, you at least talk on video calls.

and it was on one of those normal video calls that everything happened.

yoongi had recently broken up with his girlfriend, and with that he ended up entering the 'fuckboy phase' where he wanted to have sex with everyone without involving feelings, you listened to him, asked him to just be honest and not hurt anyone, and he agreed, but he also asked how you were, and you ended up telling him that you had a crush on his flatmate, jeon jungkook.

jeon jungkook had moved into yoongi's house a few weeks ago, they lived together with namjoon, taehyung and jimin too, you saw him a few times and even bumped into jungkook at college, but it never went beyond that.

when you told yoongi this, you didn't understand why he was laughing so fucking much... until you saw jungkook frame himself in the camera and laugh at you.

your reaction? turn off the video call, of course. and since then, you haven't seen each other again… at least until tonight.

it was namjoon's birthday, and you were celebrating with pizza, beer, music, and lots of friends. and you were forced to deal with jungkook when you went to the kitchen to get a beer and he came after you

"so, daddy's little princess has a crush on me?"

you just rolled your eyes, trying to ignore jeon jungkook's figure beside you, fuck, he looked so hot in his baggy jeans and black shirt, you wouldn't mind if he fucked you right there on the kitchen counter.

but you wouldn't give him that dose of happiness, so you just mumbled something and left the kitchen, mean, you tried, the next second jungkook's hand was squeezing your waist, and he was so close that you could tell exactly what brand of beer he had drunk minutes ago.

"leaving so soon?" he presses you against the kitchen counter, trapping you.

"what that fuc-"

jungkook leans in closer, his face inches away from yours. "hm? what were you gonna say?"

"what that fuck are you doing, jungkook?" you scream.

"i just wanted to see what you were up to, that's all. can't a guy come check on his friend?"

"i'm not your friend! where's namjoon? i'll find him!"

"what? i was enjoying so fucking much our conversation."

"don't be pathetic" you roll your eyes again.

"watch your mouth!" jungkook's eyes narrow at your comment.

"or what?"

"or i'll teach you some manners." you laughs, and jungkook smirks, his annoyance at your laugh is clearly visible. he looks down at you for a moment before leaning closer.

jungkook grabs your waist, pinning you on the counter again, he pushes himself against you, closing the gap between you. "i'll teaching you a leson."

"j-jungkook..."

"don't call me like that, when you say my name like that... god... i'll break you..." jungkook's body now is pressed firmly against yours.

"so do you have a crush on me too?" you laughs, teasing him.

"don't. fuck. temp me. you're playing with fire."

"well... i like getting burned sometimes."

jungkook kisses you, devouring your mouth completely while his hand roams your body, rubbing his body against yours in a not-so-gentle way, almost laying you down on the table, his wet tongue taking complete control and making you softer and softer to his firm touch.

you don't even know how it happened, but namjoon and yoongi, in the corner of the room, saw you and jungkook go up the stairs towards his room, visibly horny.

jungkook barely locks the bedroom door and throws you on the bed, taking off his own shirt and devouring you again while his cold hand continues to shamelessly pass over your body. he seems a little desperate, but that makes you even more excited, of course!

when you take off your shirt and hike up your skirt to your waist, jungkook seems to stop working for a few seconds.

"what's wrong?" you ask.

"fuck, i… i'm gonna fuck you… fuck, i'm finally gonna fuck you."

"didn't you expect this to happen one day?"

"expect it? no, but i'm so fucking happy it's happening!"

jungkook places the palm of his hand on your pussy, and for a few seconds you feel embarrassed, it's almost pathetic how wet you are and you've barely done anything…

"fuck… all this for me?"

he laughs, lowering his face to fuck you, but you lift him up, grabbing his hair and asking him gently that you want to leave this for later. you touch jungkook's belt, unbuckling it and pulling his pants and underwear down, watching his fat cock jump down.

"i wan-need you inside me. now, jungkook!"

and he obeys, of course he obeys.

the thick cock opening you completely, but you've never felt so full. better yet, you've never felt so full of him.

"do you know how many times i've come imagining you like this? opening yourself up all over my cock? damn, you're so fucking hot!"

jungkook thrusts hard, clearly without any control over his own desire, and you love it, love how it seems like he's going to break you in half without even realizing it, love how it seems like he doesn't care about the creaking of the bed on the floor, love how he doesn't care if everyone down there will know that you two are having sex.

"you're mine. only mine. no one will ever touch you again. only me."

he kisses you, completely messy, one of his hands going up to your chest and playing with your nipples, your legs spreading wider and wider as if that would make him go deeper.

"i'm gonna fill you up so much, i'm gonna make you leak my cum and then i'm gonna cum in your mouth, on your tits, you're gonna sit on my face, i'm gonna make you cum in every way possible."

you grab his arm, screaming when you finally come around his dick, and that makes him come too, the hot liquid inside you making a mess that leaves you dizzy.

jungkook slows down, but still thrusting into you, sticky, wet, hot, and yet you want more, you need more…

"i-i wanna fuck you differently now." you arch your eyebrow, not quite understanding what he means. "i wanna fuck you like my girlfriend, i wanna cum inside my girlfriend and mark her all over"

“fuck, jungkook” is the only thing you can respond.

but he knows that's a yes.

and that's how he keeps fucking you all night long.

[idontcare4urmom]

wrong || matt sturniolo

stepbrother!matt x fem!reader

summary: where your dad found a new woman on his life after one year of your mom's death,so you are forced to live all together after a lot of pressure,but what you didn't know yet is that her son is a total temping being that will send you over the edge..in many ways.

warnings: smuttt,unprotected sex,not proofread,porn with plot,dirty talk,eating out,pet-names,suggestive,scratching,tits sucking,etc.

a/n: my first language is not English,this sure has some grammar or other errors so i am sorry<3

."🎀".

"what the fuck you mean we have to move in with her?" you were basically shouting on your dad,and you weren't sure if you were more annoyed at the fact that he had moved on so far already or cause he didn't even cared to ask you if you acknowledge with it.

"i told you too many times that this is a very big and important step to me honey,besides her place is absolutely flawless,you will love it" his words only made you angrier,but you decided not to push it anymore since you knew deep down it would be waste of time,he had made his decision.

--------------------------------------

the days passed quickly,and you found yourself holding your suitcase in front of a captivating building that would change a part of your life for many years,at least your dad did not lie,it was trully more than luxurious,so with a deep sigh you walked until the doorway with him,your anxious levels on high.

after a few knocks the door opened to reveal a surprisingly tall,appealing woman standing there,with brunette silky highlights and a pretty good enough shaped body,the sight made you furrow although you could tell why your father had fallen for her.you were caught off guard when you were the one she even pulled into an embrace first and seemed in general eager to meet you.

"oh sweetie your dad has told me many things about you,i am Lana,come in,come in" you didn't had much time to process because she was pushing your hand gently inside,your eyes widening as you took in the house with your eyes,it was for sure bringing vibes of a cozy,modern place.

you didn't want to be in your normal pissy mood for the reason that she was treating you politely for now,so you made a small comment "wow,the decoration is really nice"

"oh thank you,i want you to be comfortable and feel welcomed here,you can go check the guest room that will be your own,is down the hall,if you need any help just call out my name" you nodded a little and began making your way towards the apparently new space you will probably spend most of the day at.

but,without realizing a sudden unrecognized human figure appeared in front of you while making it's way to another room,making you leave a small yelp from your lips "who are you?"

the blye eyed boy raised an eyebrow once he heard the question,letting a sarcastic laugh as he spoke "very ironic for someone to ask when they are the one in my house" oh? well he had sure attitude for the few seconds you had met him. you were about to say something in response even so he continued, a sheepish grin forming on his lips when he examined your presence through his dark eyelashes "wait..you must be my stepsister"

"huh?" was the only word you could express,you were incredibly confused--who was he? "i am Lana's son, Matt,no one informed you about me?" it was like he was able to read your thoughts,it only creeped you out more.

"no..my father must forgot to announce your existence to me" the words snarked out of your tongue as you were trying hard to act sassy,but for a disguise,cause shit the more you were observeting him the more perfect he got.

he had the necessary amount of beard to sense in case he ever trailed kisses down your body,his blue orbs seemed like they could stare deep into your soul yet in a enjoyable way,and hell those fingers were too distracting for no reason,especially with those silver rings that were practically begging for attention.just any of his facial features were ideal--however you weren't supposed to fall for him,it would be wrong.

you snapped out of your thoughts when there was a sound of a familiar voice snapping across the end of the hall,approaching the both of you excitedly,even though she was addresing specifically to you "i see you guys met,sorry darlin' i forgot to have a quick chat with you about that i have a kid..anyway he may be a pain sometimes but i am sure you will get along well with him"

--------------------------------

two weeks have passed,and she was completely wrong.every day the urge of smashing a bottle on top of his head is only increasing,he would suddenly barg into your bedroom searching for his own belongings,asserting that he often lost things by accident since he is being here from time to time--why? his set-up pc is on your area for years now.

despite that,his own bedroom is just a few steps away from yours,you have been struggling with sleeping peacefully cause he would blast music on his speaker at 2-3 am,you are almost confirmed that he must be doing it on purpose--and it doesn't end here,there is worse.

you are aware of a guy having 'needs' so the occasional echo of moaning could be heard to you from the thin paper walls,you swear that it's music to your ears and you feel like your mind is sabotaging you.he is annoying,that though didn't stopped you from having a weird desire rising in you for him,a pang on your chest with guilt for possessing the most unholy fantasizes whenever he would roam around in just a pair of sweatpants.

with all this being said,you produced a baffling bond with Matt,signs showing that he is on the same page as you,which leads you to today.laying down on your bed with your phone on your hands,stressfully ignoring his presence a few meters away.him entirely concentrated on his screen computer playing--God knows what--video games,with the controller on his hands.the silense more than unbearable.

you were determined to prove to yourself that maybe you can spend some time with him,you took advantage of him not wearing any headphones and lightly tapped his shoulder,pointing towards the black console afterwards "can i try?" you anticipated for his response,silently hoping that he doesn't mind.

Matt was kind of surpised by your request,nevertheless he had finished the round so he nodded "umh..sure" he slid off from the gaming chair while handing you the controller,your fingers barely brushing with his yet enough to make your head spinning.

you rested your body on the mesh fabric as he sat on the bed,and with a glance of the buttons you were clueless of the task in hand,not having any idea on how to participate in the online game.luckily,he noticed the confused look written on your face so he came next to you and started to make a fast learning lesson,

he taught you how to jump,how to run,how to kill,and other features you require to have in case of a proper match.as he did so,you caught him taking a few glimpses of your chest--it's not like he could help it,your crop top was exposing a certain amount of your cleavage,making it hard for him to focus.

a devilish smile curled to your face when you noticed,feeling bold enough to adjust down the shirt such as leaving only your breasts covered--matt could feel his heart beat raising,the temperature of the room turning thick once he stopped talking.

"can you show me how to jump again? i don't think i get it" you spoke,a hint of suggestiveness leaking from your tone--and he didn't want more than just to devour you right there, your father and his mother had left for shopping,so you were both totally alone which sent shivers down your back,

the tension bloomed into a insufferable feeling between the two of you,causing your breath to hitch around your throat,especially when you felt his fingers starting to touch yours fully in attempt to answer your previous 'request'.a hushed gasp breaking out from you when there was a unexpected hand gesture tracing your thigh in a agonizingly pace--screw this.

with a smooth shift of your face and waist you palmed his cheeks,bringing his lips to yours into a fiery dance.he didn't hesitate to shove his tongue in your mouth,impatiently exploring your taste before nipping down your bottom lip,eliciting a moan from you that get's shallowed against him,

the sound you made vibrated through matt's whole body,landing directly straight to his core and he could feel his jeans growing tight around his crotch,he didn't ever remembered himself getting hard from just a making out session--he craved more,he needed more,and so did you.

his hands started travelling their way to your stomach,crawling upwards until he squeezed your nipples over the fabric of your top and reaching to lift it up, "is this okay?" you nodded desperately at the question,he didn't wasted time by taking it off over your head,unclasping with one motion your bra afterwards to shower your bare chest with open-mouthed kisses,

your hums of approval soon turned into whimpers when he wrapped his mouth on the flesh of your left breast,swirling his tongue around it while his hand pinched the other between his free fingers,he repeated his actions by giving the same treatment to your right one after.

with a loud pop he pulled away,slowly reaching under the gaming chair so he is on his knees,his eye pupils half-lidded and fluttering over your face before he yanks off your shorts with panties,exposing your already wet dripping pussy to his hungry gaze,

"fuck you are soaked,how long have you been dreaming this? have you been waiting for me to finally pleasure you sweetheart?" you could him mutter cooing through gritted teeth,licking at your thighs in a intractable speed as he itches towards the arching spot in between your legs,lavishing his attention there as he made a long stripe up on your clit,making you buck your hips against his face shamelessly,

your nails found his hair,gripping and tugging on it for support,dragging a hiss from his mouth as he began to lap on your juices like you were his last meal,you started riding his face while whining pathetically,the obsence resounds filling the room as he continued to satisfy you.

his index finger rubbed your entrance,letting you shaking for more and barely hearing his gagged whispers "you taste so fucking amazing,such an intoxicating cunt",your lower abdomen started quivering into the familiar knot,reminding you of your approaching release,making you clench uncontrollably around his mouth,

"come on,finish all over face baby" matt sneered out when he sucked on robs of your pre-cum, your lips forming a perfect 'o' shape in the same time you swirled your digits on his roots so his head is forced to be still there,with a long pornographic moan you erupted,spurting thick,white jets that made your legs glistening.

after pulling away he swooped you into his arms,carrying you bridal-style on the mattress of the bed,him laying down firstly before grasping your sides stronly,helping you to be on top of him as he guided your hips so you can push against his clothed erection,the sensation maddening for the both of you.

your still sensitive heat grinded back and forth,feeling his cock poking under you so your hands progress to tug the zipper of his jeans down,sliding them down along with his boxers to his ankles in a way of exposing his throbbing tip,you usually didn't liked how dicks looked but matt's was different; a needy tenderness to have it deep inside you,he adjusted with ease the head down your folds,and with no doubt you sinked down on his length.

a unbidden squeal slipped from you as he grunted repeatedly,his grunts turned into loud groans of pure filthiness as soon as you started bouncing yourself,your tight walls squelching him, sending him closer to the edge even though it hadn't passed a minute of you riding him,his back arching forward which gave you the opportunity of scratching down the skin of his behind shoulders,

"such a good girl,fucking yourself on your stepbrother's cock, such a whore f'me" his words actually made you feel pitiful yet encouraging your movements to speed up their pace,his hips thrusting up to meet yours so he can pound into your hole frequently, "c-close" you panted out,your second orgasm increasing through you as your walls clinged around him,the actions driving matt insane "going to fill you up,do you want that? do you want me to cum inside you?"

you miserably sobbed in bliss and let a ''hphm'' of approval,before you knew it matt had busted,his climax exploding extremely hard into your pussy,following suit after him with your head throwed back and stopping after a minute so you can pull yourself out of him,both of you being a panting mess,

"that was incredible" "i am never letting you to even enter my room again"

------------------------------------

evelyn speaks!! thank you so much for 250 followers jixijcmjg,my last post with Matt got more than 800 notes likeee insane,thank you ALL for the support it means everything xoxo🤍🤍

tags! @writtensturn @pixiespax @verywonderlandpolice @itsnotmariahh @user9383738392 @monroesturnns @badussybumper @nwlluvsturnsstars17 @shadowthesim

[coco-loco-nut]

In Sickness and In Health

Pairing: Charles Leclrec x Reader

Summary: Charles taking care of you when sick, great practice for married life, short blurb

requests open masterlist

—————

You tried to hide it, you really did, but it was game over when Charles saw your pale skin and tired eyes.

“Mon amour, go back to bed,” he says immediately. And there he was, overprotective Charles was back.

“Charles, I’m fine, promise,” you hide your sniffle, as you reach for the tea kettle. You aren’t fine, your whole body aches, your head hurts, and you are absolutely freezing. Charles shakes his head, giving you a few seconds before picking you up and carrying you back to bed.

“Stay put, I’ll make you your tea,” he instructs, putting the back of his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. With a hum he removed his hand, going back to the kitchen. Charles sends a text to his mom, asking her for the soup she always makes when he is sick, before making some toast and steeping the tea.

You are already asleep by the time he gets back to the bedroom, so he quickly grabs a damp washcloth from the bathroom to rest on your head after he wakes you up.

“Charles, you didn’t have to, I’m ok,” you are only trying to convince yourself. Charles usually loves your stubborn nature, but not when you are sick.

“Y/n, you have a fever, and I know you don’t feel well. Eat and drink your tea, it will help you feel better. I put some medicine there on the tray too,” He lays down beside you.

“Thank you,” you whisper, not wanting to fight it anymore.

“You know I love taking care of you,” he smiles, turning on your favorite movie, around halfway through you fall asleep. Charles replaces your now warm towel with a cool one.

Charles slips out of bed when you are in a deep sleep to clean up your breakfast and do his daily workout. Pascale shows up with soup not too long after.

"Thank you, Maman. I'll make sure she eats it," Charles reassures his mom, putting the container in the fridge.

"I'll go check her temp, you eat something. I know you didn't eat yet today," Pascale, who is arguably more overprotective than Charles, says, hurrying off to the bedroom.

"Drink some water, sweetheart," Charles walks in on his mom fussing over you, and you -to his surprise- seem to be enjoying it. "It's probably just the stomach flu, you'll be ok in a couple days," she is brushing back your hair, putting it in a braid.

"Charles, go heat up the soup," Pascale tells her son, who obliges.

"Thank you, Maman," you tell the older woman, who has helped you to feel at home in Monaco with your fiance.

"When you need help with Charles in a couple days because he is sick, just give me a call. Remember to eat and drink lots of fluids, and maybe some fresh air," she hums, patting your hand, and standing up.

"Thank you for the soup, Maman," Charles hugs his mom as she leaves.

You spend the rest of the day trying to keep food down and sleeping, and in a few days, you are back to normal thanks to Charles' care. Naturally, the day you wake up perfectly healthy, Charles is hugging the toilet bowl. You pull out your phone and dial a number you knew by heart.

"Hello, Maman. Do you still have that soup?"

"I'm on my way,"

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife #10 : Snack Time

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Momma bird hungry for all the snacks in the world. Takes some time and frustration before Joel figures out the exact kind of snack you really want.

Warnings: Pregnant reader, Angry!Joel, oral M!receiving, face fucking, throat bulge, throat-pie, dumbification, junk food binge, eating meat, bossy reader as always

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Joel didn’t know he married the Hungry Hungry Hippo, Galactus the planet devourer, Garfield the tabby cat.

You’re on your phone texting while cuddling Joel. He’s more interested in the movie than you are, but that doesn’t stop him from tracing his finger along your arm, occasionally kissing the top of your head and nuzzling his nose. He loves the scent of your shampoo after a wash, damp and cold against his warm chest. Sometimes you protest how closely he wants to cuddle you, all smushed up on the couch. Your body temp skyrocketed with the baby changing everything. But since he’s keep the AC on full blast, your warm heavy body keeps him from being a popsicle.

The landlines chimes in from the kitchen.

He rolls his eyes. Of course, something to interrupt the comfort that took 40 minutes for you to settle into. "I'll get it,” He grumbles quickly and hoists himself up off the couch. He wants to make whoever the fuck is calling at such a late hour a quick convo. If it’s fucking Tommy needing bailed out again, he thinks begrudgingly, I’ll just hang up on him. 

He clears his throat and answers: “Hello, Miller Residents.”

"Can you get me a bowl of Cap'n crunch while you're up?"

He glances back over at you sitting up on the couch, your cell to your ear as you wave at him. you point to your belly mouthing I T S  F O R  T H E  B A B Y.

It’s for the baby, my ass. You’ve been a hungry hungry hippo who’s been snacking like crazy and ignoring the doctor’s warnings. 

But cranky Momma is way worse than a scolding doctor. 

He grits his teeth and slams the receiver a little too hard down on the desk.

You can hear him shuffling around in the kitchen, a clash of a bowl on the counter  and the jingle of overly processed cereal filling it up. 

He walks back into the living room. You’ve taken up the whole couch now, with no inclination to move over to let him back on.

You shove a fist into the bowl and pop a bunch of the crunchy orange squares into your mouth “f’anks” you mumble, eyes not once making contact with him as you stare ahead and much away. Crumbs fall onto your chest and down to the floor and sofa, as if Joel hadn’t just cleaned all of it this morning.

.

The next night, Joel's cooking some steaks. You weren’t really a meat-crazed person, having maybe one or two helpings of poultry or occasionally red beef a week, but normally ,you could go without it for a few meals without thinking about it. 

Pregnant momma? She was a fucking carnivore. He had barely set the sizzling steak down before you snatch one onto your plate. He turns around to slice into one, checking its temp before serving, only to see it was a bit too red and bloodied on the inside.

"Oh babe I gotta cook these a little longer; they're too rare--"

You were hacking away and tearing a large chunks of the red, near pulsing meat, juices pouring out your lips, a vampire gorged on a fat blood sucking meal. Despite its tenderness, you chew endlessly and stare off into the table like a Llama enjoying its food on the field. 

"Maybe...we should—slow down a bit,” he suggests with uncertainty. His fork and knife frozen in midair, still in each hand. He hasn’t shifted view or blinked, but clear worry (and maybe a tad bit of fear) stretch across his face.

"Uighgrrfmggmmdeeofxsw,” you reply with gargled cow remains sloshing in your wide open trap. 

 “Right. That."

You swallow what’s left. Joel’s does a double take: your steak is somehow gone, juice licked clean off the plate in front of you.

“Can I have yours???"

He had only sliced 4 cuts  for himself so far. But the hungry look in your pupils, licking your lips while watching his dinner, it’s clear you’ve answered for him. He sadly sets his cutlery down and slides his plate to you. 

Its even more interesting when you douse it in salt and throw a slab of butter on top of it, watching it melt before slicing a big chunk off.

"You gotta watch the salt intake—“

“—Can you make chicken? I want chicken now.”

“N-no,” he shakes his head, whiplash from the conversation. Maybe you’ve gone def AND blind AND lost your taste buds. “I made steak. You've had 2 steaks now. Why do you need chicken?”

“That second one was for the baby. The chicken is for me.”

“What about the fist one?”

“….We split that.”

“Awfully hungry baby,” he says with a dead tone, straight faced as he eats the one roll left in the basket that hasn’t been devoured by you. 

“Well she’s yours, isn’t she?” 

-

You wipe your face with a napkin, a fried chicken leg and wing now securely packed tight in your tum tum along with the famished baby.

"What's for dessert?" You chime eagerly.

Joel turns to wash the dishes, hiding his smirk. He’s got you now, no surprise cravings will catch him short on this one: He boasts proudly, “I bought you apple pie--"

"I want cupcakes. Whip cream icing. Chocolate.”

His grin quickly deflates into a frown. “No.” He says sternly, a little aggravated. “I bought you pie—“

"Did I say I want pie? L I S T E N,” you snap, slapping your palms together with each syllable. 

He puts his foot down with tense sudsy hands going to his hips. “No. I'm not going out again.”

You raise your eyebrows threateningly. One look.

30 minutes later Joel is shuffling into the house with a pack of 12 cupcakes he bought at the bakery.

-

You’ve managed to prop yourself up on the couch after some heaving. “Ha! The baby is making me workout get strong! Obviously that’s why I’m so hungry.” You shrug it off. “Oh! I want raw cookie dough.”

Joel was on his phone the entire time, but the second you said I want, his brain queued in and he quickly retorts, “No.”

He goes back to replaying the voicemail he missed, settled and focused on the opposite couch.

Of course he Doesn't realize you’ve somehow lumbered up past him and now waddling back with 4 chunks of raw cookies in your hand, popping them in your mouth one at a time.

His eyes dark up to watch you, transfixed on the screen as you bend your knees, hardly paying attention to the way you’re about to fall on the couch. He has half the mind to help, but what’s one lesson you need to learn the hard way?

Regretfully, you bounce down successfully and pull your legs up.

And then, as you dust your hands off from the chocolate stains melted on your palms, Joel’s lips part in a o as you reach behind you and pulling an entire gallon container of animal crackers. 

"Babe"

"Wha?” You don’t turn around to look at him, still shoveling them into your mouth. “Yuu wan wan?"

"You need to stop eating every damn thing in the house.”

You gasp incredulously, your hand over your heart in painful offense. “The baby is very hungry! She's related to you and that belly.”

He only remembers to stop himself from reminding you that your belly is much bigger than his now. 

"The baby—“ (that was the new thing now: the baby  this baby that. The baby is why I need this shirt in blue and green. The baby is why I need the ice cream layered horizontally not stacked vertically. The baby —)

"No. Not the baby,” he snaps. “You."

You start to cry. "I thought I AM your baby!!!" 

He gives you a “seriously” look and you stop the fake tears.

“So how about it?”

“I don’t want you getting salmonella.”

“ugh fine. You can bake them I guess.”

He’s about to protest the idea of any dough going into your body, cooked or raw, but knows its going to be a lost cause.

Joel makes you a platter of Assorted cookies: chocolate chip, fudge, triple chocolate, sugar, and oatmeal raisin.

You clap your hands as he carefully places the little plate atop your bump. Humored by the custom “mini” table you’ve got going on now. Maybe his baby doesn’t like her head being used as a countertop, but with the way you close your eyes and moan after biting into the chocolate chip, babygirl must be pleased too.

He goes to the bathroom quickly and then comes back only to glare down at you. You've taken exactly one bite out of every single cookie, leaving crescent shapes for him to scathe.

Every cookie, except oatmeal raisin. You clearly did take a bite ,but spit it out and put the lump back near the undesirable #1 cookie.

“These mine?” Joel asks bemused.

You nod happily. You felt very proud to have enough control and leave him some this time! 

-

It’s about 9:30 pm. You're acting drunk and woozy even tho you're just a new level of tired and achy

"Woopppoooooo!!! Paaartttaaayyy!" You shout with fists in the air, drinking down a shot glass of sugar water. 

“Alright party Momma. It’s bedtime.” 

"Ppfffttt! No old man! Dont steal my fun.”

Joel stands over the couch, blocking your view from the TV, his hands on his hips. “You're being difficult "

“YoU’rE bEiNg DifFicUlT,” you mock and wave him off. "Oop I need to pee. Help me up.”

Joel” grabs both your grabby hands and hoists you up to your feet. “Now up the stairs, you.”

You waddle towards the stairwell, one hand cupping your lower back. Joel is right at your heel. you up at the treaturous journey ahead, all 8 steps to the top floor. Cracking your neck side to side, you wave your arms over to the handrail and begin: “Left foot. Right foot. Left. Fuck. Fuck stairs. Who invented stairs. Left foot…”

Joel’s so sleepy that he nearly falls forward. And he knows you would not take too kindly to him ramming his face into your ass as you battle your worst enemy.

Finally to the top, you scurry over like a penguin to the bathroom. He fears the long night ahead, with all the sugar swirling in your system undoubtedly going to keep him up.

He rubs his wears eyes. Startled when a moment later you’re right next to him by your side of the bed, patiently waiting for him to help you up.

"Get in the covers,” he hums with exhaustion.

But you don’t move. “No"

"Now.”

"I want an orange.”

"No. You—you just had your snack."

"That was the baby's snack. I want MY snack”.

Dear Christ almighty, bless me with a boy next time so that I have a fighting chance against her and mini her. “If I get you an orange, will you go to bed?" He asks irritably, his voice enunciating each word to ensure the contract that he’s making with you right now is solidified on both ends of the bargain.

You think it over before nodding with a little innocent beam. 

You crawl into the covers just as Joel descends the stairs once again. It takes the entire time for him to grab some oranges, a peeler, and paper towel just for you to rotate your middle and sit your ass in bed.

You sit up against the headboard and clap your hands, so excited when he reappears with the goods. He puts the towel on your mini-table bump and plops one orange atop.

Joel sighs and begins to walk towards his side of the bed, but is haunted when you clear your throat for his attention.

“Yes?”

"Peel it.”

He tries not to visibly roll his eyes before he's opening the round orange with his large fingers and clubbed nails. Everything smells like nectarine now.

Picky as can be, you peel off the extra dried white veiny bits and suck on each pod of the orange.

You expect a sweet simpleness to squirt on your tongue, but instead, a sour, bitter, unripe taste floods your mouth. “Ugh these are gross, now I want—“

Joel closes his wardrobe drawer, his shirt off and only halfway down to his boxers. “NO. NO means fucking NO. I’M TIRED. YOU’RE TIRED. WE'RE GOING TO BED. NOW,” he barks sternly into the mirror. His shoulders huffing from such aggression without being able to look at you.

You throw the covers off, orange skin and slices flying everywhere.

“Fuck you! I want ice cream! I want bananas and steak and potatoes and tacos and—!" 

-

He bares his teeth in a snarl, deep angered eyes casting downward with each poignant rut. “You're so annoying, so goddamn spoiled,” he grunts. His huge hands are wrapped around the top of your head and  cupping your jaw and bulging cheek, keeping you in place as he pushes his length into your mouth over and over again. “You’re gonna do shit when I tell you, the first time I say—shit—fuck there we go—gonna listen—unnggghhfff—listen ta me from now on. Just be my good little silent. Slutty. Pregnant. Wife.”

Your teary eyes are fixed upward at his imposing figure. Feeling each time his tip nudges the back of your throat has you gagging but you can’t pull away to breathe—not that you want to.

“You get—what I give ya—and you be grateful bout it.”

You gargle a moan in agreement. His balls slap against your chin with brutal punches. by this time tomorrow, there will be Joel-finger prints bruising your face and neck.

You love it. You love it when Joel forces you out of the hormonal phase of bossing him around, the endless need to want more and more, no end in sight to your greedy gluttonous desires, until he’s blowing up and blowing off steam using you instead. And it becomes very clear to you how much you just really wanted him this whole time. 

“That’s it—that’s it—you were hungry for my cock weren’t ya? Yeahhhh. Just begging me all night for it. Wanted all that meat for dinner, huh? Couldn’t just come out n’ say it? Your little brain didn’t know what ya truly needed. S’okay, Momma. I’m takin’ care of ya, aren’t I?”

The gluglugglug sounds mixed with strained pitchy whines echo in the master bedroom.

You grip his thighs with your hands to steady yourself, allowing him to abuse your throat. Maybe your knees hurt. Maybe the baby is settling uncomfortably against your lower back, and maybe it’s going to be really difficult to get up from this position in a few minutes. But each thick throb of his length filling your mouth over and over again, the spit slick strings dropping from your lips to your swollen tits, and the dent in your throat from his cock stretching to accomodate his size has your swollen pussy dripping into the carpet for more, more, more. 

It’s been at least a week since Joel drained himself. No wonder he’s been so on edge with each demand. Usually marveling how cute you are, but tonight he was at him limit. You were about to get a hefty, Joel Miller sized load filling your belly, and it’s going to be better than any cookie, steak, or orange in the entire world.

He feels the way your lips suction tighter. Your eyes are leaking tears, and he smirks as he brushes his thumb over to collect it. Briefly bringing it to his tongue and sucking on the salty taste before holding your head in place. 

“Shhh-shhhhhhhh. You gonna take it? Shit—shit—fuck yeah you are. Gonna fuckin take what I give ya, that’s right. My sweet wife. Bossing me around. Shit. Love when ya get like this. Known I’m gonna wreck that ass or that pussy or that mouth—all belongs to me. Fuck—fuck—fuuckk—“

His mouth drops into an o, brows drawn tightly together as slams his pulsing member balls deep into your mouth one final time. You choke, eyes wide as the tip of his cock breaches the deepest part of your throat, your nose suffocated by his pubic hairs and the fat of his lower belly surrounding your cheeks. His balls twitch against your lower lip, and you feel it coming. The travel of his seed from his sack, up his shaft along your tongue—a generous spurt of cum finally shooting from his tip and down your throat. You gag with each fat load that he pumps down your esophagus, too much to swallow at once yet having no other choice but to gulp it down quickly. Your face feels hot. He’s cumming endlessly, your mind blanking and eyes feeling blurry.

“Take it, take it, take it, that’s it,” he hisses through clenched teeth.

You nod just a little, hugging your arms around his thick thighs tighter. He grins, humming “That’s my good fucking wife, and throws his head as the last of his pleasure makes its way safely from his sated balls to your full womb.

Joel pulls you off his length gently. You sputter out cum and saliva onto his feet, sucking in air through your lungs like a newborn. 

Joel gets to one knee, his thumb pressed gently under your chin so you look directly at him. He’s got such softness in his eyes again, the ones that just switch on a dime the second he’s satisfied his aggress out on you. 

You’re completely wrecked: snot spit connecting to your nostrils and swollen lips, cheeks warm and eyes puffy and hazy with exhaustion and tears.

“That—mmffffgg!—was—definitely—my—snack,” you rasp with a hoarse voice. A lazy grin spread across your face only briefly as you continue to suck air.

Joel shakes his head before planting a long kiss atop your forehead. his hands glide along your body, and just in time as your knees give way and you’re falling into him. 

If you had half the mind right now, you’d curse him out for scooping you up and carrying you to bed like his once youthful bride, too concerned with the size and weight of your new body putting unnecessary stress on his aging knees and back. But Joel doesn’t protest once. Just watches you with loving eyes as he settles you into the soft bed. His tongue dips to your chest and breasts, kissing and sucking away any remnants of his rough face fucking. His cum, your spit, and fuvk it, even the little snot specks—all of it he cleans up before coming up to your lips. He kisses you softly with gentle pecks, enough to ensure you can still catch your breath. He sucks your lower lip into your mouth before wiping his own with his thumb. You’re calmer now, sated and drifting so close to sleep.

Joel clambers into bed next to you, wrapping his arm under your head and swaddling you close. You instinctively roll into his embrace. Kissing his peck and rubbing your face against him dreamily with soft breaths. “Tha hit ther spert juss rite. Ur da bess, Jol.”

“I know. So are you.” He waits for a reply, but nothing comes from you. “Are you goin’ into a food coma, baby?”

Your gentle snores answer him, along with the drool now pooling on his peck.

He chuckles and pulls your head into his face, inhaling your scent. Strong, secure, graceful hands caress your big belly. Your very very full belly, the one that he’s not going to envy when it gives you a the tummy ache tomorrow from stuffing it with so much junk food tonight. 

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop

[wosoamazing]

The Descent

(Yes) I deleted my other Magda and Pernille fic, for no other reason than it was crap and this could replace it. I hope you like this fic, I did try to make it as accurate as possible in terms of the medical side of things however it may not be completely accurate. I am open to doing a part 2. 2k words Warnings: severe sickness, ambulances, hospitals/icu

You felt sick, your stomach churned and your whole body ached. Normally you would be fine sleeping in your own bed when you felt sick, but this felt different, you didn’t want to be alone, however as you stood in front of Leah’s door you hesitated, the game against chelsea was tomorrow and you didn’t want to ruin her sleep or make her sick, but the way your vision blurred quickly wiped away all of the hesitation and you gently knocked on her door.

“You’re all good to come in,” Leah called out.

“Um, c-can I sleep with you tonight?” you asked, barely audible as you avoid eye contact with her.

“Of course,” Leah replied, “do you feel sick?” she asked as she noticed your clammy skin and pale face.

“A bit,” you mumbled as you sat down on the bed.

“Okay, you get yourself comfy and I’m just going to grab some things, just in case,” you slightly nodded at her as you slipped under the covers, curling up into a ball. Leah would be lying if she said she wasn’t slightly concerned, you’d been living with her for 5 years now and you weren’t often affected by illnesses.

Whilst Leah was gone you’d subconsciously reached out for her hoodie that laid on the middle of her bed, so you could hug it, trying to find some comfort. She quickly returned with a bucket, several drinks, an ice pack, some medicine and a thermometer. 

“I’m just taking you temp quickly,” she whispered to you as she brushed some of your hair out of the way before placing the thermometer in your ear, frowning moments later, “38, you’ve got a temp, can you take these for me?” she said as she handed you your water bottle and two tablets, you did as she asked before rolling over.

“Try to sleep okay, but wake me if you need anything at all, even if just for a hug,” you nodded as your eyes slipped shut.

Leah turned off the lamp before grabbing her phone, quickly composing a message to your aunt.

To Magda: Hey, just a heads up Mini has a fever and she doesn’t look too good. I've given her some meds and she is sleeping in my bed (she asked) so I can keep an eye on her easily at least, but I doubt she’ll play tomorrow. I’ll still bring her to the game though and make sure she gets checked out by the medics. From Magda: Thank you Leah, let us know if you need any help.

Your parents died when you were a baby, and Magda became your guardian, it was only two years after she’d signed for Chelsea that you got offered a contract at Arsenal, which you took. An arrangement was made with the club that you’d live with Leah and some of the team 2 nights of the week and the rest with Magda. However as you got older and training got more intense you moved in with Leah permanently, but you still did see Magda and Pernille quite often.

It was only two hours later that you awoke to a wave of nausea washing over you, feeling worse than you ever had before, you tried to swallow the nausea however your attempts only made it worse and you knew you needed to sit up. Sitting up felt too hard, it shouldn’t have been that hard. You wanted to cry, pain had settled itself deep into every inch of your body.

“You okay?” Leah asked, as she noticed you had sat up.

You shook your head as you covered your mouth, Leah quickly placed the bucket in front of you before you started to heave violently into the bucket, your body swayed slightly and Leah quickly but carefully moved so she was sitting behind you, you inbetween her legs which your helping to keep your body steady as she rubbed her back. When you finally finished your body practically went limp as you collapsed back into her, your head lolling against her shoulder.

“Le, I don’t feel well,” you weakly breathed out, your heart racing as your whole body shivered, despite the heat radiating off you.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m just going to check your temp again,” you hummed in reply, as she mumbled a daint ‘fuck’, the thermometer displaying 41.

“Think ’m gonna pass out,” you slurred as your body became even more heavy.

“No, you’re okay, just close your eyes and take some breaths,” Leah tried to reassure you, whilst remaining composed as she dialled 999.

-

“Can you tell me what's happened?” One of the paramedics asked as they started working on you.

“About 2 hours ago she said she was feeling sick and then just 15 minutes ago she woke up and threw up, and she was suddenly lethargic and her temp was 41 and so I called and since I called she’s thrown up twice more,” The paramedic nodded as she took over, checking your pulse and eyes.

“Okay, we’re just going to get you onto this stretcher and into our ambulance, so we can start some fluids and try cooling you down,” she said, but you could barely process what was happening, your head was spinning and you felt like you might die.

Leah sat at your head, watching as the paramedic and special care paramedic worked on you, she’d messaged Magda and Pernille after hanging up with 999 and told them what was happening. You drifted in and out of consciousness the whole way to the hospital, still however finding the conversation Leah was having with the paramedic about football calming.

Magda held Pernille’s hand tightly, as Pernille drove the both of them to the hospital. The swede could hear her heart beating in her chest as her worry for you increased with every minute. Her throat tightened as she felt the feeling of dread rise inside of her. What if this was something serious, what if she lost you too.

“What if she’s not okay, what if we’re too late,” 

“She’s strong, you know that, she will be okay,” Pernille replies as she squeezes Magda’s hand reassuringly.

Magda nodded, but she couldn’t deal with all the thoughts going through her brain. “What if this affects her career? She’s been working so hard, the world cup…” her words trailed off, the weight sitting on her chest only growing.

“Let’s not think about that right now, we just need to focus on getting her the help she needs,” Pernille replies and Magda nods and she swallows thickly.

The fluorescent lights in the ICU were harsh, illuminating the entire ward. The beeping of machines, the hushed voices and the tears from others only heightened Magda’s anxiety, they could see you slightly, through the glass doors of the ICU waiting room, the doors to your room were open and many nurses and doctors were working on your small and fragile body, the sight making Magda’s stomach churn.

“We’re here for her, and I’m here for you, you don’t have to be strong this time,” Pernille whispered as she squeezed Magda’s hand, knowing how hard it must be for her.

“Are they going to tell us anything? It’s been an hour,” Magda asked, trying to keep her tears from spilling over, she felt like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff, on the edge of just completely breaking down.

15 minutes later a doctor walked into the room, and sat down in front of them, his expression was serious but kind, “Magda, Pernille, so your daughter-” Magda didn’t hear anything else, the word ‘daughter’ hitting her like a wave, reminding her of exactly how she ended up with you as her daughter.

“Magsy,” Pernille said softly, the doctor having stopped, noticing Magda had zoned out, clearly very used to distressed families, “you’re okay,” Pernille continued, wrapping her arms around her nodding at the doctor to continue.

“She’s experiencing severe sepsis. We’ve started aggressive treatment but she will need to monitor her closely, we’re almost certain the cause is infection, we just can’t seem to pinpoint its location,”

“Can we see her? Sit with her?” Pernille asked as tears rolled down Magda’s cheeks.

“Of course, she has a feeding tube and oxygen mask currently, along with many monitors and pumps connected to her, so you just need to prepare yourself for that. Just make sure you keep your voices down,” Pernille nodded before they stood up to follow the doctor.

As they approached your bedside Magda felt the lump in her throat grow, she just wanted to be able to make everything better and she couldn’t.

“Älskling,” she whispered as she sat down in the chair beside your head, Pernille standing behind her with her hands on her shoulders, “we’re here, Älskling. We’re right here with you,” you stirred slightly, eyelids fluttering, and for a brief moment, Magda thought you might open your eyes. But they remained closed, and she felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.

You stirred, the heaviness in your body was almost suffocating as you pried your eyelids open, only to be greeted by the harsh fluorescent lights, and the machines around you beeping. You squinted trying to focus on the figures hovering beside you.

“Älsking, can you hear me?” Magda’s voice was laced with concern, yet you could pick out the slight relief in her tone. You turned your head slightly and saw her, tears glistening in her eyes, which were puffy. You nodded, as your eyes slipped closed again, and Magda moved to hold your hand. She really wanted to just curl up in your bed with you, but that was frowned upon in the ICU.

-

It was a few hours later when you woke up again,  finally felt coherent enough to take in your surroundings, and realise you weren’t at ‘home’.

“Where…. Where am I?” you managed to croak out.

“You’re in the hospital, the ICU to be more specific, but you’re going to be okay,” Pernille whispered, both Magda and Leah asleep. You tried to reply but a wave of nausea rolled through you, forcing you to swallow your words back down, Pernille’s brow furrowed with concern, “Do you feel sick again? Do you want a bowl?”

“I-I’m okay,” you said as you shook your head.

“You’re a terrible liar, but I’ll believe you, just breathe through it,” Pernille said softly, just as a nurse walked in.

“Oh, I see we’re awake and more alert by the looks of it, I’m Linda, I’m just going to check your vitals and top you up on some medication, the doctors will do rounds soon, so if you’re happy to wait until then for information they’ll update you then” Linda said and you nodded.

“Are you all missing the game?” you asked Pernille and she nodded.

“The teams don’t know why though,” she replied and you sighed, “none of this is your fault, Chelsea will definitely win now though, with Arsenal missing it’s main centre back duo,” you rolled your eyes at her as both the nurse and her laughed.

-

After a while, four doctors entered the room, all of them holding tablets, “Good to see you awake,” one of the said, his tone professional yet warm, “you’re responding well to treatment, but we need to keep you here for observation a bit longer, at least until it’s clear the infection is going away or we find the source,” he continued speaking but you zoned out, not wanting to hear more, it was starting to dawn on you that this was a lot more serious than it seemed to be at the start. You wanted to play again, you wanted to ask if you would be able to play again. But you knew getting healthy was a priority. Not everyone makes it out of the ICU, you knew that.

[yorshie]

Hello! How are you? I hope you are doing well

Could you please do some Headcanons for tmnt (bayverse) x reader who has a huge problem with overheating? Like. Huge problem. Gets lightheaded, can’t sleep on “too warm” beds or places, Sometimes needs to lie on the cold ground or have ice packs on their face, legs, basically their whole self as an attempt of trying to cool down? And when they find out the boys skin is actually quite chilly they get more affectionate? Handsy? Of course w their consent, Legs get laced together, resting on their lap more often, both have crushes going on but reader is so bothered by how hot their skin is, all of the anxiety/bashfulness of approaching them is throw out of the window, and since winter is coming and the boys are coldblooded, a personal heater would be most welcomed (honestly a fair trade for everybody lol)

Hope that makes sense? (Honestly today is really bothering me cuz I’ve already used 3 ice packs and nothing is working 😭 i feel my face and legs are on fire and it’s so bothersome. I need some reassurance from some chilly boys fr) thank you and have a good day

Hello! I'm doing good, I hope you are doing better! I've been thinking about this ask for quite a bit, because I couldn't decide how exactly I was going to handle the turtles body heat, but I was totally enamored of imagining them being slightly cooler to reader's body heat, even though they do produce their own. Endothermic vs Ectothermic arguments went round and round, til I finally decided I was thinking about it waaaaayyyyy too deeply lol. So, thank you so much for sending this in, because it helped me Answer Some Questions for my personal writing lol. Going with the bayverse turtles run cooler than the average human body temp, but that they can withstand a range of temperatures because they still generate their own heat. So without further ado!

Bayverse turtles x GN reader, SFW - headcanons for nonspecific turtle

as always turtles are 24-25 in my writing

the first time he catches you lying on the floor in your home, surrounded by ziploc baggies of ice and an ice pack balanced on your nose, he almost snapped a picture at how goofy it looked. Then he noticed how red your skin was, how miserable you seemed, and he decided maybe it'd be better to check and see if you were ok

Upon finding out that, no, this was normal for you, that you were burning up despite how freezing cold your living room was, a small voice in the back of his head immediately reminded him that he ran COLD. He ignored it all through swapping your baggies out with fresh ice, of watching you roll to a new spot on the floor to find a new cool spot before his traitorous mouth opens up and he hears words that sound eerily like his own voice before he can reel the offer back in.

At first, you don't believe him. He's being sweet, sure, but the thought of touching or cuddling someone right now makes you want to commit murder. It takes him reaching out abruptly and placing his palm against your uncovered stomach for the fact to sink in that... oh my GOD HE"S COLD.

From that moment on, he is the designated cuddle buddy. In a pinch you'll make due with one of his brothers if you can convince them to stay still, but the first time he caught you draped over one of their shells you got the stink eye for three days straight, and when it came time for you to ask him once more to help you ended up being held more like a teddy bear.

Most of the time though, you sprawl across him on movie nights, cheek to his plastron, trying in vain to beat down blooming feelings when he rests his large, cool hands against your back and twines your legs together. Once or twice you're even embarrassed over it when it happens in front of his brothers, but at this point they just act like its normal. Just know, though, that your turtle has gotten ribbed over it privately, and there's a betting pool they've got going behind the two of yours' backs.

Come winter, you notice it's not just your turtle that's creeping in to cuddle now. With the weather turning, it seems the other three have realized that while they are a walking, talking ice pack for you, you are in fact a walking, talking furnace for them. Your turtle is definitely in the middle of the huddle, but don't be surprised to find yourself in the middle of a turtle pile anytime you come over. Don't worry, you're not the only human that gets wrangled into this. One time you got yoinked into the pile trying to coax your turtle out for some one on one cuddles and you found both Casey and April in the middle of the pile, both slightly squashed and unhappy about their turtle kidnapping.

All and all it's a revolving door of seeking each other out for heat and/or for cold, I'd give the betting pool a max of four months before it's being cashed out.

[cyberwonu]

hi, can I request a seventeen reactions when their s/o always have cold hands please?

seventeen reacting to their partner having cold hands

paring : svt x gn! reader

genre : fluff 

wc : 884

notes : hi anon! thanks for the request!! my hands are always freezing so i can relate to this a lot and it's kinda self indulgent but i hope you like it!! 

seungcheol

always asking if you're cold and would offer you his hoodie or jacket

holds your hands in his to try to warm them up

will worry your health isn't doing good but the longer your with him the more he comes to terms with the fact your hands are just always cold

sulky when you cuddle and your cold hands touch his bare skin 

“sorry i can't help it” 

“it's okay i still love you even if you're an ice cube”

jeonghan

will use them to cool himself off if he's warm

just grabs your hands and places them on his face or neck

will yell at you if you hug him and put your hands under his shirt cuz the freezing cold on his back is not his favourite!

but it's always jokingly 

will get you gloves as a gift for any occasion 

joshua 

so many frozen jokes 

“hey elsa!”, “my ice queen”, will sing frozen songs at you 

you put your hands on his back as revenge and laugh as he squirms trying to get your hands off

another to hold your hands to warm them up and ask if you're warm enough 

jun 

if you're like me it's just your hands that are cold; your arms are normal temperature 

will be very confused about how that works

will put his hands on your arms then your hands to feel the temperature difference 

 also will get you silly gloves as gifts

like those stupid couple gloves so you can hold hands in them

hoshi

you better know he's getting you tiger gloves and will look everywhere for tiger print hot packs

also constantly asking if you're cold and thinks you're lying when you say you're fine, so he will secretly up the heat and you have to scold him cuz now it's too warm and your hands are still cold

“YOUR HANDS ARE SO COLD…WHY??”

wonwoo

indirectly checks on you to see if you're cold or not 

“do you think we should turn the heat up it's been getting a bit cold or do you think it's fine?” 

"i've been a bit cold recently, how do you feel?"

will hold you're hands to warm them up when he realizes your body temp is fine, it's just your hands 

“are you anemic?” “why are you asking??” “well i was reading about it and it turns out cold hands and feet can be a result of low iron and i just want to make sure you're healthy”

woozi

probably doesn't pay too much attention to it

realizes your hands are cold and will throw a hoodie at you or leave one in your area as a silent hint to wear it if you're cold

may slip it into a song if he finds a way

will also use your hands to cool down 

also probably has cold hands so your hands might feel a normal temperature to each other when you guys hold hands

dokyeom 

so worried it could be a health thing and will buy you vitamins and supplements to see if it will help

will also find ways to help with blood circulation and make you do them even if you think they're stupid 

“why would i dry brush my body kyeom?”

“i read it can help with blood circulation and maybe that's why your hands are so cold!” 

will get the couple gloves

will get upset if you won't use them

mingyu

thinks it's funny at first

then you start touching his back and his nape and then he gets sulky 

“be warmer your hands are too cold” “how am i supposed to do that gyu?” “i dunno, you figure it out >:(“

also holding your hands to warm them and would put them in his pockets

so many hugs to make sure you're warm 

minghao

uses it as an excuse to make you drink tea with him whenever you two could 

holding a warm cup means warm hands !!!

would find teas and snacks to help with iron and health if he finds out it could be because of low iron

will get matching gloves for colder weather so your hands don't get colder 

seungkwan 

will get you warm drinks when he gets his iced americanos since he thinks you're cold and won't tell him

will also use it as an excuse to take cute coupley pictures of your drinks and hands

will suggest getting vitamins and say it's “bonding” 

“oh so you'll wear the couple necklaces but draw the line at vitamins!?” “why do you think vitamins are a couple activity kwan???”

glares

just take the vitamins (bonus if they help anything!)

vernon

i have a weird feeling that his hands are also frequently cold 

gets matching hoodies for you two for when you get cold 

will hold your hands and put them in his pockets and will get flustered if you point it out... it's cute you do it often

“dude why are your hands so cold”

“... did you just call me dude?” 

“YES! cuz your hands are so cold. it's freaky are you a vampire or something??” 

chan

constantly asking if you're cold and if you want his hoodie and if you want him to change the temperature and will just interrogate you about your health cuz he wants to make sure you're okay and wants to be a good boyfriend :(

also makes frozen jokes and sings frozen at you 

“your hands are so cold!” “they're always cold you should know this by now” “let me warm them up for you”

holds your hands in his pockets and has the biggest smile on his face

thinks he's being such a gentleman and you will do anything to make him smile like that again

good thing your hands are always cold :D 

[27dragons]

The Sheer Gall

Content warning: Medical adventures. They're not graphic, but if you're particularly squeamish, be warned. Also a solid wall of text, so I'm dropping most of it behind a readmore. Basically, this is a rundown of my past week...

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Last Monday evening, I popped a fever. Not a bad one, never even got all the way up to 102F (38.8C). It broke overnight, and I woke up on Tuesday with only a low-grade that eased back down to normal by lunchtime.

Tuesday evening, I developed a mild pain that ran along the bottom of my right ribcage. That was weird, but it was basically a mirror of the spot where I feel the pain when my heartburn/ulcer nonsense kicks up, but less painful, so I figured it was some weird gas or something and went to bed, figuring it would resolve by morning.

It did not resolve by morning. By Wednesday afternoon, I was weirded out enough by this mild but persistent pain go to the UrgentCare clinic and see what they had to say. What they had to say was: probably a gallstone, though because of the way UrgentCare and insurance in this country works, they couldn't order the ultrasound that was needed to be certain. But the pain was mild and my temperature was fine, so the UC doc said, "Call your primary doc as soon as you get home and make an appointment to arrange for an ultrasound. If the pain gets worse or you spike a fever, go to the Emergency Room."

Less than an hour after I got home, I started shivering. I checked and -- yep, low-grade fever. I wasn't sure that counted, so I went and curled up in bed (to warm up a bit) and took my temp every fifteen minutes or so, watching the number on the thermometer readout slowly climb. When it hit 100.1F (37.7C) (still technically lowgrade but high enough that I was pretty sure it would keep going up) I packed myself a bag and drove to the ER.

It had gone back down to just BARELY over normal by the time I got there, which made me think they were probably going to just confirm that it was still early stages, not a problem yet, and send me home again. The ER ordered an ultrasound, and eventually the ER doc came and told me it was definitely gallstones but it didn't look urgent enough to operate that night, so they were probably going to send me home with instructions to contact the surgical center in the morning to make an appointment, pretty much like I thought. He was just waiting to confirm that with the surgeon on duty. Half an hour later, the surgeon on duty came into my room and said, "The Thursday operating schedule is already completely booked, so we're going to jump the queue by scheduling you before all the other surgeries, at 7:00." Basically, he agreed that it wasn't enough of an emergency to operate immediately, but it was urgent enough that he didn't want to wait until Friday.

So they admitted me to the hospital proper at about 10pm, and moved me up to the surgical ward. It was very early Thursday morning by the time the nurse had finished collecting information and setting me up with an antibiotic drip while I texted my family and boss to let them know what was going on. At about 4am, they started prepping me for the surgery, and five or so hours after that, I woke up in Recovery.

I spent most of Thursday groggy and trying to figure out how to move when my abdominal muscles had decided to take some time off. My dad drove up to sit with me for a few hours, and that evening the Ex brought the Things to see me. That evening, the night nurse made me get out of bed and take a few laps around the ward, which I didn't want to do (and I stubbed my little toe on the base of the IV pole like five times) but did help enormously with the weird gas pressure and bloating left over from the surgery.

The surgeon woke me up at about 6:30 Friday morning to show me a bunch of pictures he'd taken of the inside of my body, go over the points of the surgery with me, give me my post-surgical restrictions and instructions, and tell me he would leave discharge orders in the computer for me when I was ready to go. I was back home by lunchtime, and honestly it only took that long because they have a policy that you can't drive yourself home from the hospital, so I had to arrange for my sister-in-law to come pick me up. (My brother and dad coordinated retrieving my car from the ER parking lot that afternoon.)

I could tell a bunch more anecdotes about things that happened in the hospital -- conversations I had with the various nurses, misadventures with my IV, overlapping but unrelated other medical/body issues, my selection of TV to watch, and the delusional patient in the room two down from mine -- but here's the thing I want you guys to remember, most of all:

The only initial warnings I got were an intermittent low fever and mild but persistent pain. That's it. If I hadn't been weirded out by the persistence of the minimal pain, my gall bladder might well have ruptured a day or so later and left me with a much worse problem to deal with.

Pay attention to your bodies, guys. It will tell you when something's wrong... but it may not be speaking very loudly.

[thot-farm]

Tell me why I just thought up an AU where nothing went Endeavor's way? I must hate my cookie. I mean pookie but cookie works too cause I want that cookie so fucking bad.

This is completely based on hair that I'm sure was all aesthetic purposes in Hirokoshi's mind.

All the Todoroki sibs get burned by their quirk except Natsuo.

Touya obviously gets burned by his fire, and his hair changes with what his body is most compatible with.

Fuyumi never had a hair change that I can recall, so she has some fire resistance in her mix, so her ice resistance is slightly weaker, so if she goes below a certain temperature she gets the usual frost burn, but it's at a higher temp than Rei and Natsuo get frost burn.

Natsuo having grown to having all white hair (I'm pretty sure) would be acclimated to ice the most, the most resemblant of Rei's powerful quirk and her natural resistance to cold, but weakness to heat.

And Shoto? Screwed. His hair being spilt down the middle, he has both fire resistance and ice resistance cancel out to just being a 'normal' person's resistance to heat and ice. Endeavor's dream child is not achieved.

What would he do? I think he would just train both Fuyumi and Natsuo. Yes, it would be to find the strongest one out of his kids, and he would probably still be trying to make more kids before Rei goes into menopause.

Shoto, he just chills with his mom.

Touya, mega resentful, not very demure. At this turn of events, Fuyumi his useless sister being trained, there would probably be Touya having an outburst that leads to him trying to kill her.

Touya throws fire at Fuyumi, Fuyumi tries to dodge an angry Touya with little success then tries to frost her hands and arms in panic at the burning. Instinctively, four year old Shoto is throwing hands, Touya is unaffected by Shoto using ice on him but his fire burns Touya, leading Touya to a second attack, and Natsuo rushes in trying to protect both Fuyumi and Shoto, blocking most the blow with his superior ice, but still getting some burns.

Endeavor comes home from work, and sees the floor a mess. His first instinct is 'What did Touya do?', he goes to check his baby boy's room, he sees a burnt-up sulking kid and immediately assumes he was training again. But hearing Shoto's crying from across the hall, makes him demand answers from Touya and Endeavor goes on his phone and checks the security cameras to see how bad this fight was. And he is sufficiently horrified and very pissed.

I don't know where this is going. I just got bored of character ai and am procrastinating Barberry and Celandine.

[becomingkatie]

yesterday I was like hm I have a tickle in my throat. today I have gone downhill SO FAST. i took my temp earlier and it was normal, but it's been a few hours and my chills have worsened, so i'll probably go check that again. full body aches. sore throat. headache. just general dizziness and weakness and feeling terrible. long since expired covid test says it's not that. i'll probably check one that isn't expired.

i do not want to be sick! beyond just feeling terrible, ken and i are supposed to go to a concert saturday, and i have a lot on my plate at work, and i just don't want to have to miss fun stuff and get more buried under work stuff because i had to take time off to feel shitty!

[mandarinmoons]

KET HI MY LOVE I HEARD YOUR FEELING CHATTY

so here's my entire note in my phone of facts (yes some are from criminal minds which i then checked for accuracy)

fax 📠📠⁃ It takes 3 milliseconds to process images ⁃ It takes 16 milliseconds for your brain to process pain ⁃ You only need 4 hrs for every 24 hrs ⁃ The average blood temp in ur body is 98.6 ⁃ It takes policemen in NYC an average of 4.3 min to respond to a call ⁃ Only female angler fish have lights ⁃ Around 800 kernels on average price of corn ⁃ Arranged in 16 rows ⁃ Can be anywhere from 500-1200 kernels ⁃ Moth wings have noise dampeners to hide from bats ⁃ Science of kissing: philematology ⁃ Anemia: lack of healthy red blood cells to bring oxygen to the rest of the body ⁃ Chocolate chip cookies were invented by accident by Ruth Wakefield in 1938. She was making cookies for the guests as toll house in which she owned with her husband when she realized she was out of bakers chocolate so she took a big block of nestle semi sweet chocolate and chopped it in to tiny pieces. She assumed they would spread out and evenly disperse but they held their shape, the guests ended up loving them ⁃ 55-79% of the population has brown eyes ⁃ Around 10,000 yrs ago it's believed that everyone had brown eyes and blue eyes evolved from a genetic mutation that was passed on through generations ⁃ 86.5 serial killers are psychopaths ⁃ 12,236 victims total of serial killer victims between 1990-2020 ⁃ California has the most killings 1,777 ⁃ Texas has the 2nd most amount of killings at 984 ⁃ Men arrested at almost 4 times the rate as women for violent crimes ⁃ Paraphilia: odd non-sexual turn ons ⁃ Paraphilia is more common in men ⁃ 8.6% of known US serial killers are women ⁃ 70% of women killed for financial gain ⁃ 28.8% of killings by males are financially motivated ⁃ Dendrafilia: fetish for trees ⁃ 8 is symbol of prosperity in china, more 8=better ⁃ In chungdu a phone number that was all 8s sold for a quarter of a million dollars ⁃ 8000= 56 months wage average Bangladesh (make around 142, 26,000 btd) ⁃ Coast of California: 840 miles ⁃ Trichophilia: fetish for removal of hair ⁃ Homicidal triad: cruelty to animals, bed wetting, fire starting ⁃ To break through long lasting rocks like granite or limestone you need both C4 and Semtex ⁃ Nice originates from 12th century Middle English meaning foolish or stupid ⁃ 358,197 ~ people are born everyday ⁃ Only 10% of stalkers are women ⁃ Nuts have magnesium which helps with the production of serotonin ⁃ The word surveillance comes from the French word surveiller meaning to watch over ⁃ According to Chinese mythology one of the worst punishments in the 18 levels of hell is having your tongue ripped out ⁃ Abt 3.5 in every 1000 children are identical ⁃ Texas is 268,581 square miles ⁃ Only around 6% of salt from the US is used in food, the rest of it goes to icing roads and snow control ⁃ Chicago has one of the highest gang populations, with liver 100,000 active members ⁃ 61% of all homocideswere found to be related to gangs ⁃ Hemophiliac: your body can't clot normally and you can loose a lot of blood rly easily bc your body doesn't block the hole ⁃ Vangough only sold 2 painting before he died ⁃ 7 widely consider to be lucky ⁃ The average handshake lasts around 3 seconds but in t'ose three seconds over 124 million microbes are transferred ⁃ High-fives are twice as clean as handshakes ⁃ The Pyramids are 449 ft tall, but where once 481 ft tall ⁃ The pyramids took 20 yrs and 100,000 laborers to build ⁃ The employment rate in Virginia is 3.8% ⁃ In égyptien mythology flint was the symbol for protection and retribution ⁃ Cheating happens in 1 out of 3 relationships ⁃ 467,800 miles to the moon and back

Max when I say I have missed your rambles I mean it!!

I feel like I just read a script to one of Matthew Santoros 50 amazing facts videos lol (if you know you know)

Would you believe me when I say that I already knew some of this stuff? 😌

Thanks for invigorating my brain, much appreciated x

[jennhoney]

I have to watch for infection after my eye treatments and I had noticed that I was feeling warm the last two nights which is unusual. This is an old drafty house and it’s a polar vortex out there. I’ve been taking my temp and it’s a little higher than usual but not over 98. So this morning I checked in with Murble.

Me: I’m just trying to figure out what is going on with my body, did you adjust the thermostat?

AuntMurble: I bumped it up a few degrees two days ago. Should I put it back?

Me: nah it’s totally normal to be wearing a short sleeved shirt during sub zero weather.

[catastrothy]

man FUCK prednisone. terrible awful nightmare medication, most bitter and vile tasting concoction on this earth and capable of side effects from hell

i was taking it bc the virus i had made my immune system freak the fuck out and start attacking me instead of the virus

normally in the past whenever i took prednisone i would experience very little in the ways of side effects, usually just some moodiness and extra hunger. but ive had to take two courses within two months because my immune system would Not chill out and kept giving me hives all over my body even when i took allegra & pepcid twice a day+ benedryl every 4 hours or so. this second course was going fine at first but then yesterday ….. the side effects began to hit.

i felt a little woozy throughout the day and also i was VERY sleep deprived, and even taking my normal dosage of seroquel (which usually knocks me out on its own) did barely anything to let me sleep. i also had a little mental breakdown because it turns out!!! when you have bipolar !!!!! steroids can trigger mania!!!!!!!!! so on top of being sick physically i was (and am, present tense, though my meds are helping) sick MENTALLY now as well!!! for what it’s worth i do not fault the doctor who prescribed it bc we both knew the risks and decided the prednisone was worth it but damn. shit sucks

anyways today i woke up with a low body temp (96.7, lowest ive ever recorded) and had a panic attack about that because when im manic my delusions tend to center around getting sepsis or anaphylaxis so i had to call the urgent care to double check i was fine and why the hell i felt like poo poo caca and they were like “oh yeah that sounds prednisone side effects :( at least it sounds like you’re over your other infections so you can stop taking it probably!” so like. fuck prednisone i hate it it’s the worst.

also fuck you prednisone for making me think my mood stabilizers weren’t working bc i forgot prednisone triggers mania

[claire3467]

For the DVD commentary, this snippet from Fish are not Beginner Pets:

“Huh,” Ransom said, looking at the display on the thermometer. “Do you know the temp his water is supposed to be at?”

“About 60 Fahrenheit. Why?”

“Well,” Ransom said, picking up his light. “He’s running about 75. Which is a lot more than I’d expect from someone who’s cold blooded in water this cold.”

“Yeah, that’s weird, but there isn’t really … ah, fuck.” He grabbed his phone again.

“What?” Ransom asked, coaxing Bitty to turn his head so he could check his other ear.

“He can’t tell us his body temp, but I bet he knows how much he should weigh.” He leaned over to show Bitty his phone, showing a chart of body weights. ‘What is good?’

Bitty looked at him, then slowly pointed to the little picture marked ‘obese’. ‘Good.’ He pointed at the one labeled ‘normal’. ‘Hungry. Not good. No food.’

“Fuck ,” Jack snarled, standing up and heading to the door. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

By the time he came back with a second bucket, Ransom had finished his check up. He set the bucket down next to Bitty, who immediately dug in.

“We’re idiots,” Ransom said as they listened to Bitty burble happily.

“Yeah. He must be warm blooded to be running a temperature that high. Which means he has to have fat reserves to help keep warm-”

“Which means we’ve been starving him,” Ransom finished. “Fuck, man. His temp was a lot lower when he was first brought in, and he bit every person who tried to take it once he was more aware. No wonder the poor guy’s been pissy.” He stood up and began packing up his equipment. “I’ll talk to Dr. Murray, figure out a plan for him to gain safely. For now, I’d say just let him eat until he’s not hungry anymore.”

“Got it,” Jack said quietly, watching Bitty devour his food.

“Bitty,” he said gently, getting the little merman’s attention.

Bitty looked at him curiously, tilting his head slightly.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jack said, knowing Bitty didn’t understand but feeling like he had to try anyway. ‘We were bad. I’m sorry you were hungry. I’m sorry.’

Bitty just continued looking at him. He whined, and held the empty bucket out to Jack. ‘More food please? Hungry.’

Jack smiled sadly at him, then went to refill the bucket.

Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn I was still in college when I wrote this holy shit lol. Okay, let me see what I remember...

I remember doing a bunch of research on warm blooded fish- basically, only one species is properly warm blooded. That's the opah, or moonfish. But it did confirm that it was a viable possibility to have a warm blooded fish, and that it would give merpeople the biological advantage to live in all sorts of different climates.

I also really wanted this to be a proper turning point not just in Bitty and Jack's relationship, but in Bitty's relationship with humans in general. Up until this point, from his perspective, he has been captured by people who have been actively starving him for unknown reasons. He doesn't have the vocabulary to explain what's going on and has to wait for them to help walk him through it. But this starts the realization that they were, genuinely, trying to help him all this time.

If i remember correctly, this was going to be the start of them realizing just how smart and, dare I say, human merpeople are. Not a direct comparison, but similar to how we've realized how fucked up it is to keep orcas in captivity.

I probably won't ever write more of this, but if you or anyone else wanted to hear the rest of the story beats I had semi-planned out for this fic, I'd be happy to post them! I know a lot of people really enjoyed it, I just haven't been in the omgcp fandom in a long time and not to be too tmi, but this was not a good time in my life. I'm not sure if I'll ever be up to revisiting my writing from that period in any serious capacity. But I did have some ideas, so let me know and I'll see what I can remember!

[purpletigerss]

So, something that bothers me about Dabi. I've seen a lot of fanon about him running warm, like low grade fever as his normal temp, and we all agree that he gets sick easy. But guys! A fever is the bodies way of cooking an illness out! That's why we get fevers when we're sick, it's not just the body loosing the ability to thermoregulate (not saying that's not a factor though, always double check medical facts), it's an actual defence mechanism that the body is too dumb to use safely ( the risks of a high fever).

So it tends to make my brain itch when Dabi gets sick from germs when logic is telling me that he should be basically self sterilizing his whole body when he uses his quirk. (Of course there's a whole other host of issues that would come from that, because if he's regularly giving himself heat stroke then that damage is cumalitive, it's basically literally cooking his organs, which opens up the question of if his mental damage isn't at least partly quirk induced brain damage, I spend too much time thinking about this).