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wickmitz · 4 months ago

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SEDGEWICK SABLE & MITZI MAY : an overall study, part one .

discussing their individual characters, their relationship, their respective scenes, and a plethora of details found in-between.

this question is a good one! though i’m going to prematurely apologize for the length of my response to it, since this requires some extensive analysis. mostly because i feel like fans are prone to misreading and misinterpreting mitzi’s and wick’s relationship a lot in general, but also due to the fact there’s a lot of outside elements that are currently affecting their relationship as we see it in the comic. so to even begin to understand their mindset on the date, we have to rehash previous events and actually understand what’s happening within those moments. after all, like most good character writing, there’s a lot being said without actively telling the reader every little thing! it’s also important to note that this romantic relationship is very complex, with both parties involved being extremely human in nature ; prone to messing up and feeding impulses that, while understandable, aren’t exactly wise or good natured. for example, you will see some rather heavy miscommunication in this dynamic! but to start off with this beast of an analysis, let me discuss some statements i’ve seen made in regards to wick and mitzi, which are not only extremely biased in wick’s favor, but are factually untrue. these topics will come into play later! and will help establish some key elements i’ll mention again when recounting the events of the comic.

some opinions i’ve seen thrown around that are treated as canonical fact are a combination of ‘mitzi’s been setting out to use wick from the start / she isn’t actually interested in him / is merciless when taking advantage of him, and etc etc.’ -- and in order to properly begin this analysis and what’s really going on, you have to cast these ideas aside! i, personally, don’t think any of these views are true and serve as an extremely simplistic explanation for mitzi’s behavior, while also robbing wick of any actual agency he may have. he is not some helpless victim led astray by mitzi’s tempting offers and curves, and has even been stated to not be as morally righteous as he claims by tracy on occasion. he, like mitzi and everyone else in lackadaisy, is a heavily flawed individual! and that’s important to keep in mind as i go through and a.) debunk these misconceptions and b.) actually discuss the events of the comic, including the in-between we weren’t privy to as readers. i also don’t think i need to clarify this, but just in case someone out there is thinking it in passing : i cannot make it clear enough that mitzi is just as flawed as wick, if not more so! she is not an innocent party in the events, and i won’t shy away from discussing the morally ambiguous things she does either. however, it’s undeniable that she gets more hate than wick, or any other man in lackadaisy, thus i find it prominent to disprove the cartoonishly villainous reads of her character. i might defend her more than wick here, or approach her with more sympathy, but this doesn’t ever negate her wrongs and i know this. but with all these disclaimers, preamble, and topic starters out of the way, i’m going to go through these points one by one ( alongside their scenes together ) and discuss them as i see fit.

the first time we see mitzi and wick together is in the comic page introduction three : where they’re photographed together with some other noticeable faces, with a date of ‘5-21-1927’ dated in the corner. the two are beside one another and are leaning into each other’s space, an action that seems commonplace for them given how they’re depicted in the phantom bootlegger as well. it’s also worth noting that despite the rather tragic circumstances surrounding them, the two still appear to be in high spirits -- both donning a smile while flashing an almost coy look at the camera. they look as though nothing is amiss about the situation at all, honestly, and given their proximity, it appears they’re close. i’ve offhandedly mentioned to others that i wouldn’t be surprised if wick were standing in atlas’s ‘spot’, so to speak ; since he’s always shown standing to her left. it gives couple vibes! something that’s rather unremarkable since we know from wick’s own mouth that he’s been interested in mitzi since her days as atlas’s wife, as well as the implied affection at first sight in the side comic limestone. but i’ll note it nonetheless, because if this photo was taken before the proceeding events ( a likely story, since freckle is absent in the photo ), then this implies a closeness between wick and mitzi. they are comfortable around each other and are rather pleased to be in each other’s presence well before acting upon any feelings in a romantic light, unabashedly friendly before the other lackadaisy crew as well as not minding being posed so closely while being photographed together. they are on good terms and have likely stayed that way since they’ve known one another -- i feel like people act as though wick and mitzi had no genuine bond prior to the events of the comic, when it seems rather implied they were at least friends before. this also very weakly discredits claims of planned manipulation from the start as well as mitzi not liking wick outside of his money. the only thing up for debate, in my eyes, is how close they were, not if they were close at all … though now we reach actual canon events, most notably pages such as : formaldehyde, overtime, hallelujah, overture, caveat, and rendezvous respectively. these are pages that i’ll be talking about in length, since i see them as necessary reading ( and rereading ) for these two before volume two’s events.

formaldehyde, overtime, and overture are sort of bundled together for what they reveal where it concerns mitzi’s plans with wick as a person in her life. i think it’s easy to view her joy upon seeing sedgewick in the paper as an opportunistic lightbulb ; ‘good news’ that she can exploit and a balm applied to her financial troubles that had her looking at the obituaries for some levity. but i’d argue she is genuinely happy for wick too, with both selfless and selfish intent. while actually celebrating his success isn’t her main concern, i see some part of her proud of him nonetheless -- even if it’s an unspoken congratulations. though what’s more pressing is that it’s here that we see her intentions as clear as day, which is that she plans to schmooze wick’s investor friends in order to keep the lackadaisy afloat. emphasis on the investors here! her letter to wick shows her priorities clear as day, sending extra club pins and drawing attention to the desire for extra company, and not just wick’s own. when wick swindles the rather bored crowd the lackadaisy’s way, we see how mitzi leaps into action ; giving the men her full attention and chatting them up, making her motives clear as day to them while maintaining some business coyness. the real apple of her eye here is edmund church, who is poised to appear as the leading man where the investors are concerned, and even her body language is attentive towards the man. facing him directly, leaning the full weight of her body towards him …

but while doing so, she is visually turning herself away from wick. back practically turned to him and his presence all but ignored. it’s clear he’s not her schmoozing target, which implies she’s not searching for an investment from wick himself ; as though this is a line she doesn’t wish to cross, and would rather find her money elsewhere despite her mounting desperation. we also know that before these events that mitzi has sold everything she could in order to make things work, including rather sentimental items like wedding china and not limited to whatever mansion her and atlas previously lived in. to me, this shows that mitzi was never planning to use wick at all, really, and in fact was so against the notion that she’d rather manipulate his friends than the very easy target beside her. while she’s arguably a selfish character, people seem to not grasp how hard she tried to keep wick from becoming more than a loyal patron to the lackadaisy. it’s only when all other avenues have been exhausted that she attempts to use him -- and we’ll talk in depth about this decision later, since it wasn’t an easy choice, much less something she decided to do without some inner turmoil in her heart. and while yes, her exploiting wick’s investors is her using him to a degree, it’s worth noting that ( and i cannot stress this enough ) wick was more than well aware of her intentions and brought the men along anyway. he feeds these men to this lady he fancies, something church will call him out for in caveat and something borderline confirmed in overture itself. wick is hardly the idiot people make him out to be! he may be prone to obliviousness, but he’s no toddler who fails to understand even the most obvious social cues. at this point in the comic he trusts mitzi completely ; unfazed by the rumors she killed atlas and believing her incapable of violence due to how long he’s known her. he thinks her kind, he thinks her graceful, and his fondness for the widow is palpable in most of their early scenes … and even somewhat during the time in which their bond is strained.

in fact, the first time mitzi acknowledges wick’s presence beside her is when wick pipes up to offer her advice on how to win church over. not only is he aware of what she’s doing, he is now actively encouraging it by offering up tips and tidbits he probably learned himself when securing church’s investment, all while he smiles and leans towards her, a flirtatious and admiring nature about him.

sedgewick sable may be one of the kindest men in lackadaisy, but he’s still a capitalist at his core, someone who knows how important money is and is used to the give and take society he’s a part of. and while he’s still helping mitzi here, there’s also little denying the fact that he’s doing this to garner brownie points with her … there is some self interest he’s serving here, even if he’s rather sweet about it. as church so eloquently puts it, wick essentially tried to “charge in with ( his ) group of shareholders in a great display of concern for the lady.” and while wick vaguely denies this claim, i think it’s more than obvious that’s exactly what he tried to do here, especially given how quickly he admits it’s “difficult to resist a damsel in distress,” while adorning a rather sly look. what happened here is wick was bluntly called out for his readiness to use the investors so he could get in good with mitzi, appease her and impress her in some way, and he seems rather shameless about this intent thus far. many fans misinterpret this scene, due to being fiercely protective of wick and quick to sense church’s antagonistic role. and just to be clear, when i say antagonistic, i mean that he is the voice of opposition against something that wick’s arc is all about ( i.e. being in a relationship with mitzi ). because of this, fans are inclined to dismiss everything that church says as patently untrue. however, i find it pertinent to reassess church’s specific wording. when he speaks to mitzi in overture, he calls her business ‘criminal reputations’, and though mitzi is able to win him over enough that he stops complaining, he goes right back to his original opinion come caveat, where he states that ‘there’s no reason any of us should have an interest in illegitimate business’. what church says next, however, is curious ; he brings up both mitzi’s reputation and wick’s, pointing out just how incongruous they are, and spells out for him that if he’d like to associate with criminals, then he is in the wrong career. at no point does church tell wick not to have feelings for mitzi nor to pursue them -- what i believe church is essentially reminding wick of is that people will notice his associations with the lackadaisy if he decides to mix business and pleasure like he did tonight. after all, what wick has done, in the simplest of terms, is try to goad his investors into making an objectively harmful business decision so that he could get in good with a woman he fancies. the problem is hardly that wick goes to the lackadaisy ( after all, church and the other investors do go to speakeasies! ), or even that he has a clear interest in mitzi may. rather, church is warning wick against letting his personal feelings guide him into making poor decisions in his business.

it’s not shown how wick reacts to church’s advice, but seems to initially dismiss it, as he spends the rest of his time ushering them away and paying for viktor’s medical bills, an action he does partly due to wanting to look good in front of mitzi once again. while i believe wick would’ve paid them anyway ( he couldn’t ever just let viktor die ) i still find it interesting how the comic highlights ivy using mitzi against him and this working effortlessly. he stops asking questions and stops debating about the ethics of taking viktor to the hospital and merely pays the doctor when quackenbush gets there … before scrambling off to make himself useful at the little daisy.

all of this is to say that wick is hardly some helpless victim who was being used against his will here. he had something to gain from this too and helped these events unfold, completely aware of mitzi’s desire to win over his investors for her own needs. wick’s knowledge of this will come back into play soon enough, although we’re going to talk about mitzi real quick, as well as the comic page rendezvous.

after the events of killjoy, mitzi’s already dire situation takes a turn for the worse due to unseen circumstances, with many things falling at her feet at once. the last vestiges of their reputation has been tarnished alongside what was a golden opportunity, the lackadaisy is trashed and destroyed, she finds out that mordecai has taken all their arsenal, viktor is shot to hell, and had it not been for the presence of a stranger, the likelihood of her, rocky, and zib kicking the bucket was too likely to be comfortable. naturally, mitzi seems composed during these stressful events, keeping her cool as best she can and acting unfazed by what was imminent danger ; to a degree, this show of apathy is genuine, in the sense that mitzi is unafraid of death and physical harm. she made the choice to stay in the lackadaisy despite knowing she’d be safer on the other side of those doors, and in loggerhead she even implies she’d rather take the risks and die because allowing the lackadaisy to fade out of existence is a ‘sadder fate’ in her eyes. i don’t think i need to talk in length about how unhealthy this mindset is or how much this demonstrates mitzi’s obsession -- her selfishness to cling onto her husband’s ruinous legacy is so severe that she would even be happier perishing in its place, an almost passive suicidality mindset that i don’t see touched upon often. but for all her nonchalance about shootouts, there’s this worsening tiredness and despair that clings to her eyes and gestures when the pig farmers are slain. forced to do nothing else but accept the grim reality of such a brutal aftermath and see viktor’s awful state for herself, another blow she gets to see up close. they could’ve lost everything here, and they almost did! it’s a devastating end to a once hopeful evening, one that has her aimless and with no real plans for a future. i don’t think mitzi even thought to use wick even upon hearing about his offered charity, yet i believe we see the exact moment when such a thought crosses her mind ; maybe not for the first time, but here is when the idea becomes too tantalizing to ignore. she’s out of options and wick is there, like always, and mitzi’s desperation ( her grief ) eclipses any care she has for wick in a singular moment that changes their dynamic completely.

we’re finally at rendezvous, which is probably the most important page ( or at least one of the most integral pages ) to wick and mitzi’s relationship. a lot happens here between these two characters despite the simplicity of their actions, after all, chatting for a little and then kissing isn’t much to sneeze at plot wise. but what’s pressing here is the visuals and the dialogue rather than their actions. we start off with mitzi entering the little daisy cafe and catching wick tidying up the mess rocky and freckle created when they ran through the building ; he’s obviously waiting around to hear of viktor’s condition and doing something useful with his hands in the meantime, having been interrupted from where he’d been staring at atlas’ picture on the wall. miss may makes light of his ‘raiding’ and says she could’ve just made him something to eat if he really wants and wick responds in kind, sarcasm and banter exchanged briefly before they touch upon the events unfolding around them. mitzi expresses her gratitude and ensures she’ll pay wick back ( something she says without being prompted to ) before telling a curious wick about viktor’s condition. unable to help himself further, he asks mitzi what happened tonight, to which she remains silent -- wick realizes he’s better off not knowing and relents with a smile, to which we get this line from mitzi.

there’s a properness to this, where she goes as far as to stop using his nickname to address him as sedgewick instead. her paw reaches up to begin fiddling with her necklace ( something she does whenever thinking or reminded of atlas ) and before she can finish her thought, her attention is forced from wick onto the very picture he’d been staring at previously. my opinion on this scene is that, for all intents and purposes, this reads like some sort of formal rejection ; flavoring in ‘you’re so kind’s and ‘such a swell man, you are!’s before ending with your resounding no, so to speak. i think in this moment, mitzi was going to be honest with wick instinctively, especially after he saved her some trouble despite not having to. ”and i would hate to …” use him? lead him on? seemingly promise something she’s incapable of delivering upon? maybe she suspects he paid for viktor’s bills to win her over ( a semi correct assumption ) and wants to clear the air on that. say that while she’s thankful and while wick is an amazing person, he won’t be ‘getting’ anything out of this from her … not right now. i’ll talk more about how i believe mitzi views wick in a moment, but all in all i struggle to see what else she would’ve been trying to say here if not some kind of soft rejection. values his loyalty and kindness too much to lead him on in that way, or take advantage of him -- until she isn’t, which just happens to be obvious in this next scene. i need it on record that visually this is one of the most compelling scenes in all of lackadaisy to me! there is something so disturbing about it, somber, an eerie feeling that something is amiss and that mitzi’s state of mind is undeniably poor. that her view of things is clouded and warped, and this will overshadow any of her true thoughts or feelings due to this skewing of priorities.

and here we have this brief moment, a single panel of silence that doesn’t last more than a second perhaps, before mitzi ultimately kisses wick. what we see visually is wide, doll eyes staring at atlas -- her husband framed in time and sat at the little daisy cafe, surrounded by men who admired and feared him in equal measure, successful, and ‘looking’ down at her. seeing him renders her speechless, only roused from this heavy stare down when wick replaces atlas with his own face ; confused and worried, not at all similar to the emotionless expression she was taken by, but it’s interesting nonetheless. it’s only then that mitzi pushes into wick and kisses him! and i think this very scene is when mitzi not only thought to use wick, but was far gone enough to actually do so as well. there’s a lot of things to be potentially dissected from this scene! mitzi’s obsession with atlas, how she’s far gone enough to ruin a friendship just for his sake ( and for her own as well ) … or the fact wick seems to be her new direction, shallowly filling what space atlas has left behind, perhaps easing her loneliness and money woes all the while. this scene is never discussed and it’s criminal it isn’t, when there’s so much being said here in the silence of it all. she is haunted and tormented and all she can see is atlas, and after everything that’s happened to her and the lackadaisy, wick becomes an avenue and a tool for the sake of it. it’s not a kiss she seems to even enjoy and it looks as though it’s entirely impulsive and forced on her end.

with comics, it’s finicky to decipher what happens between panels, but what’s obvious here is that wick doesn’t respond to her advance immediately, which causes mitzi to pull back. she apologizes vaguely, giving a dismissive ‘i do that sometimes,’ something that’s probably not even true given how valiantly mitzi loathes feeling like a ‘harlot’, so to speak. she’s obviously trying to brush this incident aside ; either having come to her senses and being rightfully embarrassed or taking his unresponsive nature as her having read him wrong. feigns aloofness when wick asks what she does so often exactly, still distant by all means, and had it not been for the olives and their forced proximity, she might’ve made her leave. as quickly as the impulse came, it had left, and i don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility to think mitzi quickly regretted her actions here due to how emotionally driven they were. but instead she lingers and stays, and then ( in my eyes, given the composition of the pose ) wick yanks her into another kiss now that the surprise has worn off. after all, he did want this! she had caught him off guard is all. it’s worth noting she looks more at ease with this kiss, knowing it’s reciprocated and enjoying it as a passionate thing led by wick rather than herself. maybe she can excuse it now, her attempt to use him, since he’s ‘leading’ so to speak. regardless, this is where rendezvous ends … however, i want to address one more thing before i move on completely.

there’s no true way of telling what happened after this comic page due to the morning timeskip we experience. all we know is that wick eventually went home, after being out ‘later than usual’, which could imply he stayed for a lengthy period of time after or could simply be referring to the fact he didn’t leave with bix at first. i’d argue the earlier assumption based on the fact wick technically ‘left early’ anyway due to the raid, but that’s besides the point. people seem to believe that mitzi selfishly dropped this investment deal onto wick, that it was solely her idea, yet we see multiple times in volume two that this isn’t the case at all -- and that wick not only agreed to meet with her, but seemingly for the purpose of talking about his potential investment. here we have wick acknowledging he made last minute plans in grindstone, as well as mitzi heavily implying wick was very much into the idea of investing in her business last night in doublet :

wick never refutes these claims and the narrative does nothing to disprove this either. so it’s safe to assume that either during their necking or thereafter, one of them brought up the idea of wick investing and they both seemed eager about the prospect, enough so to agree upon meeting later in order to discuss the actual details. once again, wick is well aware of mitzi’s intention during the events of her date, an intention she barely bothers hiding because they’ve agreed to talk about it, and we’ll put a pin in that for later. now that we’ve actually concluded the canon events leading up to volume two ( as well as some moments in between ) i’ll briefly talk about mitzi’s and wick’s feelings during this time.

one of the biggest problems they’re facing currently, and one that will worsen over time, is that neither of them are on the same wavelength here. there is undoubtedly mutual attraction between them as well as affection, but how they view and understand these emotions is where they stay divided. we have sedgewick sable who’s well aware of his feelings ( or, in time, thought he was anyway ), has been since meeting mitzi for the first time, and is so bold in his fondness that he lingered inside her circle despite her marital status. he knows he wants mitzi romantically or at the very least casually … everyone around him can tell this too. it’s not some secret or taboo sin wick is prone to shying away from! he doesn’t even care about the rumors or her widow status -- or how bad it would look to be public with her given the mysterious and illegal circumstances she’s surrounded in. he desires to impress and woo her on top of being helplessly smitten.

where they seem to differ is that while wick is keenly aware of his attraction, mitzi is not. or, more accurately, has no clarity to which she can view it and understand it for what it is. during the events of the comic, she’s long since rewritten her memories of atlas and has painted them in this golden picture of pure happiness and true love and joy … she’s romanticized her past with him, purposefully forgetting things in order to maintain this ‘i had a fairytale life when i was married to atlas’ viewpoint. we see how this perspective affects even the most major of things, like the way mitzi casually spits in the face of her old life with the band, now adamant about the fact she was miserable then and felt just oh so disgusting while performing. while i believe some of those feelings are true, i also believe that mitzi is inherently devaluing things that aren’t related to atlas due to a mixture of obsession and grief she’s not looking in the eye. when you lose someone you love or loved, the sudden hit of loss makes it very easy to morph the person in your mind into someone perfect and godly. mordecai has likely done the same thing. it’s simple to deal with heartbreak in that way, to better love someone when they’re dead and gone with only memories and photos and feelings left behind as evidence they were ever there at all. in many ways, mitzi can’t comprehend atlas anymore, and has channeled her wounds into this constant conflicting fixation instead of something to heal. so, naturally, she is not thinking about herself -- her desires, her wants, her thoughts, or her feelings ; it's a chorus of atlas and the lackadaisy instead. mitzi isn’t in the space of mind to inspect her feelings towards wick and figure out whether she likes him or not … not when all she cares about is her priority. it also doesn’t help that zib, the person who arguably knew her best ( but doesn’t know her anymore despite how they both pretend otherwise ), immediately accuses her of using wick at the very beginning of volume one.

again, zib isn’t wrong and it turns out his fears are more than valid! but it’s worth saying that mitzi’s clouded mind is already having the notion of ‘you don’t care for wick like that, you’re just using him’ shoved into her brain as evident fact from someone who’s important to her. while she fancies him and would, in another world, be more than eager to engage in frivolous courting and romantic inclinations, i don’t think she herself knows that. but if she did take a moment and examine what she’s doing and how she feels now, she’d probably dismiss all that and be more than convinced that she’s manipulating wick, utilizing his attraction to her while having none of her own in order to steal some much needed money from his pockets. like i mentioned in this post, mitzi likely believes atlas was her one true love and that she’d never love again, furthering this notion of her accidentally puppeting her own emotions to be more understandable in her eyes. this ( coupled with guilt for using wick so brutally ) is also why she appears to almost avoid romance entirely during their ‘date,’ only ever resorting to such overt flirtation when desperately trying to get wick to talk to her about what she needs to talk to him about. her methods and actions during those events are more calculated, as was her initial kiss in rendezvous. it’s also worth noting the next time we see mitzi is while she’s getting ready, sat at her vanity and looking particularly small and numb. it’s giving some levels of dissociation! this is not the expression of someone who’s remembering the events of last night fondly, which sadly includes the kiss between her and wick.

but still, we as the audience know she likes him subconsciously. we cannot always trust her perspective and instead need to analyze and look at the little things to infer if her views and genuine feelings align. her constant fondness for wick shows itself even during moments where mitzi believes she is uncaring. she is usually smiling at the mention of wick or from being around him, will casually touch him affectionately, and is visibly enjoying the act of posing with him in photomajig. everything i’ve previously said more than proves she cares for him to a rather utmost degree too. like most of their relationship and respective characters, these two extremes can coexist in their own unique way, and i wholeheartedly believe they do. i’ll also acknowledge that i haven’t talked about wick much, but don’t worry! we will get there in volume two soon enough, which i will now be covering and analyzing in detail as well.

as mentioned previously, the next time we see mitzi is after the events of last night, likely sometime in the afternoon given later events. she is putting in her earrings while sat at her vanity, surrounded by a seemingly endless supply of photos ( another metaphor for the past and how it never really leaves her alone ) as she looks on with an apathetic sort of misery. she gets up and totes around a tommy gun which she then shows off to the portrait of atlas in her ( still his ) office ; giving him a rather generous debriefing that leaves out some integral details, like viktor being shot, before harping more on mordecai and how she needs to deal with him so things won’t get worse. the only mention of wick here is her telling atlas that it ‘wasn’t a total loss,’ though her rather kicked expression, as well as how quickly she brushes past the details of that, implies she isn’t satisfied with the state of things. i also find it interesting how little she admits to the deterioration of things here, before the portrait of her dead husband, because while this can be seen as tracy not wanting to recount all the events we’ve just seen, i think there’s a level of avoidance here too. mitzi isn’t keen on vocally admitting to how bad things are, how much was lost last night -- perhaps due to the fact she’ll be forced to confront the actual helplessness of her situation, and realize that things aren’t exactly fixable as it stands. there’s actually very few instances where she willingly shares her feelings or talks about the state of the lackadaisy to anyone, and the few times she actually does so, it’s either a.) a weapon to utilize against someone else, like some kind of guilt trip, or b.) it bursts out of her like a dam. she is extremely private and reserved where it concerns her emotions, always wishing to appear competent and above things, and in my opinion, it’s something worth noting. after this, she decides to call the maribel hotel and confront asa about his and mordecai’s involvement in last night’s tragedy.

the phone call itself plays out, in the most simplistic of terms, with mitzi’s desire to discuss things being disregarded as asa avoids her through various means. he questions why she’s bothering with such low quality hooch, and upon mitzi trying to bring the conversation back to the original topic ( aka why asa would do this ), he then pries about the lackadaisy’s desolate state before telling her to quit before things worsen. mitzi expresses confusion, but once again isn’t able to form an entire sentence due to asa abruptly ending the call after deciding for her that they’ll just discuss this over lunch. all in all, it’s an extremely rude and frustrating exchange. and sadly this won’t be the only time today where mitzi tries to talk to someone about a rather pressing topic, one very important to her and the wellbeing of her establishment, only to be dismissed at almost every turn until the very end of things.

in the next page, mitzi is depicted silently stewing in a chair much too big for her, glaring daggers at nothing in particular, more than angry at her failure of a phone call. she is unresponsive to rocky’s rambling, including the potential hiring of freckle, and only rouses herself out of her irritation when realizing she can bring the two boys along in some sort of display of power. it’s a rather weak and grasping attempt at maintaining some level of control, especially when she outright tells asa why rocky and freckle are there : “you see, my circumstance isn’t quite as hopeless as you -- ” it’s a very obvious posturing, a weak show with nothing really backing it. neither asa or mordecai are impressed or swayed by this at all, with mordecai even calling out that rocky is some band member rather than some gun for hire. his insults rub salt into mitzi’s wounds ( which is why she believes asa brought mordecai at all ) and only then does she discuss viktor’s awful state, a hasty guilt trip that quickly loses its shine the longer she drags it along. while i may view mitzi through a more sympathetic lens than most and hardly believe her major flaw to be manipulation, she is still capable of it and will stoop so low when it may benefit her, or perhaps whenever it makes her feel a bit better. and this brief interaction with mordecai is one such case.

the overall contents of the lunch and the car scene thereafter proves rather irrelevant to my topic, so instead of summarizing how it goes ( poorly, it goes poorly! ) i’ll be talking about certain events that will matter later, or will help us understand where mitzi is at mentally by the time she actually meets wick for their planned visit. the major components being how asa treats mitzi during this impromptu meeting and the state mordecai leaves her in after they discuss atlas.

to touch upon asa’s treatment of mitzi, even from as early as the phone call we see that mitzi is forced to have a conversation with asa on his terms rather than her own terms. mitzi sets out with a clear goal in mind -- learning why asa sweet would attack the lackadaisy in the way that he did -- and she's repeatedly talked over and threatened, with her questions remaining unanswered. it’s very clear very quickly that asa doesn’t respect mitzi nor view her as someone worthy of his time like atlas was, and almost appears to approach her in a misogynistic manner. he demeans something as simple as her ukulele as a ‘teeny little guitar’ and acts as though mitzi’s tears would be bothersome to him, some sort of burden he’d be forced to deal with rather than a valid emotional response to threats, degradation, and the likes. while asa is by no means wrong with some of his observations, he’s certainly rude and uncaring with how he goes about it. when he tells mitzi that he’s here to suggest that she step down, because he so generously has her interests in mind, she doesn’t buy it ; once again bringing up last nights events, where asa willingly armed the pig farmers with the lackadaisy’s arsenal and sent them over her way without so much as a warning. asa dismisses this coldly, once again dodging any fault and claiming it was ‘happenstance’ and entirely mitzi’s own doing. even now, when he’s actively threatening her and making it clear they won’t stay friendly if she keeps trying to make it in this business, he still won’t fully admit to any sort of responsibility for the disastrous night he helped put her through. while this seems rather typical of asa given his disrespectful streak ( something even mordecai, as valued and as useful as he is, suffers because of ) it’s worth noting that this side of him is new to mitzi and not one she was at all expecting. she even says as much here, in heartstrings :

we also know that mitzi only met atlas due to her performing at the marigold speakeasy first, and it’s likely asa was rather present in her life due to his bond with her now husband. asa even admits that mitzi may be confused because they’ve ’managed a friendly coexistence for so long,’ once again hammering home this idea that up until this point, asa was indeed kind to mitzi, or at the very least cordial. but with atlas out of the picture and mitzi trying to take his position, suddenly asa is more than okay with getting her killed or taking all she has left -- even his plan is nothing short of apathetic and cold, an afterthought, expecting her to give up something important to her and only offering a one time offer to play at the marigold room ‘sometime’ with that ‘old band of hers.’ i’ve actually seen some people claim this was a valid out for mitzi to take, which i can’t disagree more with, since a.) her band days are not something mitzi is interested in anymore and b.) she’s sold basically everything to keep the lackadaisy afloat, meaning she’d be more than poor if she gave that up. playing once or maybe twice at the marigold room wouldn’t save her financially! it wouldn’t do anything for her at all, besides giving mitzi some sort of last hurrah in her mata hari dress, something that doesn’t even fit her anymore. while it’s clear to anyone that she needs to let go of the past in order to be happy, accepting this poor excuse of a deal from asa is just her trading one past in for another one. this is also why zib’s out, while certainly better, isn’t something good for mitzi either. but that’s another post on its own, so i’ll leave it alone for the time being. what’s important here is that mitzi is ruthlessly betrayed by a man who used to like her and is treated as a lesser thing due to his view that she’s too incompetent to run a rumrunning business. he also brings up atlas to, in mitzi’s eyes, ‘intimidate ( her ) into agreeing with him,’ and towards the end of the lunch, she looks particularly kicked and undoubtedly hurt. she leaves this meeting that could’ve stayed a phone call with a potential enemy made and with the world on her shoulders, now more determined than ever to be someone people like asa would be forced to respect. instead of being dissuaded, she’s been encouraged, and it’s not hard to realize why.

her scene with mordecai leaves her in a similar predicament after their very brief truce is broken, with him perpetuating asa’s threats as well as saying, “as though you could bring the remains of atlas’ estate to anything but further disgrace,” before promptly leaving. these words, plus the subject matter and who said them, leaves mitzi staring out the car window and actually brings her to literal tears. her eyes are suddenly watery, and when rocky tries to make her feel better, we see one paw hastily wipe at one eye in particular -- already having spilled a tear or two by the time her hires have made their way back into the car. i cannot stress enough that throughout the entirety of this brief arc, mitzi has been constantly ridiculed and told she is not good enough at this job to be doing it, on top of the extremely sensitive subject of her husband being brought up twice over, which only served as one more jab to be made at mitzi’s expense. she desperately wanted the lackadaisy to work before, some sort of memento to atlas that she could keep going, and being told to let go of it in such a harsh way isn’t going to have the intended outcome. most people become vindictive and determined when told something is ‘impossible’ or that they won’t ever be able to accomplish what they want because they’re too incompetent to do it, they see this as a challenge, they get angry, and they start fighting harder for the goal in question. it’s rather human : to be fueled by wounded pride and to want so badly to prove others wrong, to taste the victory of accomplishing something deemed impossible, to warrant the respect of your peers … mitzi is all that and then some, since she’s gripped by an obsessive grief that refuses to let her go.

she wants to do this for atlas, she needs to do it for atlas, and there is no life or goal outside of the one in front of her. again, as mentioned paragraphs before, she’s made it clear she’d rather die than see the lackadaisy wither away into nothing. asa’s and mordecai’s threats, their insults, were never going to do anything except push mitzi further down the path she’s already on. and with the added bonus of mitzi now being in an extremely fragile emotional state ( one she hasn’t had a single break from since last night ), this then causes her decision making skills to be finicky ; more likely to make rash calls and to act desperately, rather than thinking clearly and with her head. mitzi does her best to sweep her fraying mental state under the rug for the sake of business, with the comic page haggersnash providing the visual of her reapplying her makeup near the traitorous eye and she even goes as far as to change her clothes, though there’s no denying the perpetual state of misery clinging to her character moving forward. and like we’ll see in wick later, mitzi probably also didn’t get much sleep last night herself. that paired with the nonstop events that refuse to work in her favor, and the occasional mental breakdown, is more than enough to reiterate for a final time that she is not well, despite how good she is at appearing so.

shutting the door on mitzi and her no good very bad day, we then shift back into wick in the second and final part of this essay.

#my posts.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy #mitzi may #sedgewick sable #character analysis #tracy j butler

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mjjune · 2 years ago

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How to be a Good Beta Reader (or: the difference between critique and beta)

This post is a follow-up to my ORIGINAL POST HERE "How to Have a Good Beta Reading Experience" [link embedded] so I recommend reading that one first for more info.

But I wanted to follow up because I've gotten some questions about it and I figured there was enough to make another post.

WARNING: this is SUPER LONG LOL

DISCLAIMER: Again, I want to clarify that this is based on my own experiences and what I personally look for in alpha/beta reading. Other writers/readers may disagree or have different tastes!

Topics Covered Below:

Critique vs. (Alpha &) Beta Reading

The Purpose of Beta Reading: Mindset

What Comments Should Look Like

How Much Should You Talk to the Writer About It? (Spoiler: it depends)

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Critique vs. Alpha/Beta Reading

I want to start with this because so many times (as a writer) I have asked for beta readers, and basically gotten a critique (or "crit" as it will be called from here on). A crit can look a lot like many different things depending on the reader, but in general, here's the difference:

Critique: grammar, style, clarity, often line-by-line

Alpha/Beta: story structure, character arcs/development, plot, and overarching themes and ideas

And I say this because some writers might want both. Some want all these separately, and some want them all at once.

Generally, crits are harsher, and can resemble "tearing apart" a manuscript. They can certainly offer great feedback, but it depends on the writer and their needs.

Some writers, especially for those who have had critique partners in the past and this isn't their first story, may not want these comments at all. I generally prefer not to have them (unless it's something stark that draws you out of the immersive reading experience) because when it comes to grammar, style, and flow, these are things I can edit myself. I have had enough good critique partners in the past that I can handle that and don't need betas to do it for me.

However, some writers might not feel that way! But I definitely know I'm not alone here. Especially when manuscripts have already been critiqued and you specifically ask for a beta, it can be disheartening to receive this style of feedback (especially in large quantities).

Examples of critique-style comments:

Word choice and/or grammar edits

Line- or scene-specific comments like breaking down or giving advice on dialogue, action sequences, worldbuilding, and the writing itself

E.g. "this needs more visual description" or "this description is too long/drawn out" or "action sequences require faster pacing" etc.

Examples of alpha/beta style comments:

Character arcs/dev: "I liked this character's journey, but I didn't feel connected to them during XYZ parts of the book." or "I don't understand why this character chose to do this."

Plot: "This scene is what I consider to be the part where the plot really begins" or "I don't understand how ABC scene connects to XYZ scene."

So what's wrong with that? Nothing!

But you can see where if someone asked for an alpha/beta but the reader's comments are 90% crit-style, the writer might feel like the reader didn't like or connect with their work. If a reader is crit-style commenting x5+ per page, then they likely weren't engaged with the story so much as analyzing the writing style. And for alpha/betas, you want to be as immersed in the story as possible and analyzing the story.

Particularly if the manuscript has already been critted in depth, and is a polished draft (which, is certainly debatable, but that's a topic for another day) ready for betas, it can be frustrating to receive crit comments when that's not what you asked for. A lot of the times, for well-edited and mostly-polished drafts, these crit-style comments come down to personal preference with the reader editing your work to fit their personal taste. Which is not making the story better, just different.

But, to emphasize: if you were unclear in your expectations and the reader doesn't know that manuscript is already critted/polished going in, they might think you want these comments!

Also, some readers might be awesome critique partners, but terrible betas—and vice versa.

This is why I'm going to drive home my Big Takeaway from my first post: communication is key! Both writers and readers need to be clear on the type of feedback that's desired.

Of course, most readers probably do a mixture of both of these styles of comments, and this is fine! The important thing is to keep what the writer wants in the back on your mind. If you know the writer asked for a beta, then try to keep crit-style to <50% (or maybe even <25%) of your total comments. And vice versa, etc. etc.

TL;DR: A critique analyzes the writing. An alpha/beta analyzes the story. Many readers will look at BOTH, so it's important to discuss this beforehand and provide the feedback desired!

The Purpose of Alphas & Betas: MINDSET

So this piggybacks off of what I just discussed: if someone has asked for an alpha/beta, you should keep the GOAL of being an alpha/beta in the back of your mind. Especially if you're prone to crit-style comments, this will help you.

The goal of BOTH alpha and beta readers is to SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE the writer. I know that's obvious, but so many times I have gotten comments or questions about why some readers' comments seem rude/inconsiderate or not constructive. And, at least in my experience, it's because the readers went in with the wrong mindset—a mindset more appropriate for crit, rather than alpha/beta.

So what is the goal? To me, the goal should be to figure out what the story is the writer is trying to tell. Maybe in some cases the writer is upfront about that, or maybe you're going in blind. But when I go into a book as alpha/beta, this is the question I try to remind myself throughout the journey:

What is this story trying to tell me, and how could it be stronger?

But MJ, what does that mean??

Because no, I don't mean the genre, or the plot, or even the character arcs or writing style. I mean:

What theme is this writer exploring / what is the message they're sending to readers?

And from there: what about the narrative/writing/plot/etc. interfered with my connection with this message?

Side story: let me use avof as an example. This is an urban fantasy with vampires and werewolves and shifters (oh my!). I had some shitty "betas" for this book years ago which really threw off my groove as I was editing because I didn't know they were bad betas. But the truth is they weren't betas at all. They were critiquing it, and from the mindset of "this is vampire romance book." They went in critiquing my book for something that it wasn't. They completely disregarded that it more aligned with adventure, not romance, and the themes explored were self-discovery, self-acceptance, the impact of immortality on psyche, and gender & sexuality & identity - and because of that, they critiqued the book without engaging with the book. If they had asked themselves "what themes are being explored?" they (hopefully) would've seen it wasn't romance, and likely would've engaged better.

So, to continue on with this main goal, there are other things to consider—what kinds of mindsets you should avoid!

Whenever I have gotten insensitive (and sometimes, full-on offensive) comments, these were contributing factors. Regardless of critique, alpha, or beta, these are true:

You are not the only reader. There are going to be multiple people giving comments, and your comments are all of equal weight. You may be the only person who can't visualize that fight scene. You might be the only one who thought a plot point was too predictable. In most cases you will never know if other readers agree/disagreed with you, which is why it is the writer's decision whether to take action on your comments are not.

You are not an expert. I don't care how long you've been reading, writing, or beta reading. I don't care if you've read 100 published books in this genre before. You are not the expert on this book. The writer is. You do not know what is better for the story than the writer does.

You are not here to decide whether the writer is a good writer or not. You should not be making statements that imply that the writer is inexperienced or new to writing. You should not go into reading a manuscript with the mindset of "I have more experience than this writer and I should share my knowledge & teach them something." (But if the writer has expressed this, then it might be okay in some instances to give advice.)

If a specific minority group is being repped on the page that is not ownvoices and you are part of that community, you could offer insight that can be helpful, but should ask the writer if they want that kind of feedback prior to giving it. If you are not part of the community, you should not comment unless the writer has requested it (unless ofc you're complimenting it lol)

When betas go in without these ideals, it can lead to at best, unhelpful comments, and at worst, condescending and hurtful comments. These are the comments that make writers feel like failures, or like their book is bad, or that they are bad writers. Or, for experienced writers who know you went in with these (toxic, imo) mindsets, it can hurt relationships, break trust, and/or make a writer roll their eyes and disregard all of your comments.

That isn't to say that you should only compliment and not have any negative feedback or ignore flaws you see in the writing, narrative, character development, etc... but it is best to go in with the mindset that you are here to give them insight so they can make their story stronger, not to teach/give advice or change the story.

A note on sensitivity, authenticity, and expert readers: In my opinion this is one of the only cases where direct education/advice should be given. I also recommend having at least 2 sensitivity readers per any group that's repped that's not ownvoices, because even two people from the same group may interpret your story differently or see different weaknesses/strengths. That said, it is important for readers who are not of the repped groups to hold their tongue. It doesn't matter if your partner or sibling or parents are part of a group repped on the page. If you are not a member of that group, you are not an expert. If you have an inkling that the writer has not had sensitivity readers yet, you can politely suggest it. But it could also be a case of you having different life views, ideals, and/or opinions than the writer and the group being repped, and that is why you are not a sensitivity reader. I can't tell you how many times I had cis/het betas say my representation of an identity or repping gender as fluid was inaccurate/offensive when it was ownvoices, or when I'd already had 3+ sensitivity readers for the group(s).

Basically, as an alpha/beta reader, you are here to offer insight and immerse yourself in the story. It's also good to remind yourself throughout reading that "this might rub me wrong, but another reader might like it." Framing your ideas and comments this way will help you be more objective and less "this is wrong/right" because there is no such thing in writing.

TL;DR: The goal of alphas/betas is to engage with and understand the STORY, give the writer insight into how you interpret it, and help the writer figure out how to make their story stronger. It is not to give advice or teach. The writer decides what changes to make and is the expert on their story.

Ok, now I got the Beta Mindset™. So how do I comment?

Well, really this will depend on the person. Everyone is different and will notice different weaknesses and strengths in any given manuscript. And, as I said above, most people naturally will provide some crit-style comments, it's just in our nature to point out when a writing style doesn't mesh with our preferences.

From a writer's perspective, at least for me, these are the kind of comments that are the most helpful for me:

"I..." statements. For example: "I am struggling to visualize this fight scene." Instead of rewriting it or pointing out that the descriptions or actions are weak or explaining how to fix it—this is an open statement that leaves the decision up to the writer.

Immediate emotional reactions are awesome for writers to know. For example, if a line made you laugh out loud, say so! If you get to the end of a chapter and were so immersed that you forgot to comment, say so!

And on the other end, if you were immersed but then something happens that snaps you out of it, say so! But without "because..." or "you should..." advice. Just say "hey I was super immersed, but in this paragraph you lost me."

I also recommend holding comments until the end of a chapter/section (minus immediate reactions as above). Look at scenes, chapters, acts, as a whole rather than individual pieces. This will help you focus on the story, rather than the writing.

I would also recommend this post!! Excellent, and I agree 100%!!

Other critical examples: "this is my favorite character but this decision is frustrating/confusing me"; "I was bored and skimming through this chapter"; "I'm not sure what [insert worldbuilding feature] means"; "I didn't know that the magic system could do this and I feel blindsided"

Other complimentary examples: "This line of dialogue really resonates with me"; "this has been my favorite description so far"; "I didn't see this coming but it makes perfect sense!"

And here are comments I suggest you avoid:

Anything that implies that the story is unfinished, too long, too short, etc. This might be ok for crits or alphas or if the writer has said that it's unfinished, but probably not for most betas. If the writer is at the beta stage, then likely they consider their manuscript finished (minus any changes they make based on beta feedback). If you feel the need, you might say something like "this genre is usually 80-100k and yours is 150k" but avoid wording like "the story is overwritten/underwritten", which can be hurtful. (Once, a story of mine was on draft 8 and had been called polished and ready to publish by various other people, and then one beta said, "this is a good attempt at a draft of an opening scene." So yeah, avoid stuff like that.)

Wording things in a way that make them seem like Facts. As a reader, everything you say is subjective. Regardless of what you are commenting on, what you are providing are opinions. Especially for writers who tell unconventional stories/structures, comments like "this isn't the way this is done" are just annoying and are not even true half the time.

Unless you can provide sensitivity feedback personally, do not criticize the representation of a group you are not a part of. If you see something overtly harmful toward a group on the page, you can politely suggest sensitivity readers, and leave it at that.

Try your best to not give reasons or "because" statements. "This action scene felt slow because-" "I didn't feel connected to this character because-" Nope. Stop right there, unless/until the writer asks to elaborate.

Side Story: My Favorite Comment One of the single best comments I've ever received in a beta was when they noticed a character making a decision that didn't seem right. They pointed it out and basically said, "This feels out of character to me because I don't think this character would do this. They have done XYZ in the past, and I thought their motivation was ABC, but this decision directly conflicts with that." Why was this the best comment? Because 1) they didn't tell me how to fix it, 2) it was objective with evidence and nonjudgmental, and 3) they were 100% right. What they had actually found was a plot device I had used to push the character in the direction the story required. But because they pointed this out, I was able to see the source of the issue and rework the scene so that the character's motivation was consistent and they still ended up in the direction of the plot.

Since I foresee questions, allow me to elaborate on the last point: so often, a reader will say "this isn't working for me because of this reason" but actually, they're wrong about the reason. Like the comment above, this beta could have easily said, "this feels out of character because you messed up their motivation." But the problem wasn't motivation, it was me using a half-assed character decision to move the plot in the right direction! The issue was the scene, not the character development. The advice to "fix the character's motivation" wouldn't have fixed anything and might've even made the problem worse.

This isn't to say that advice should never happen in an alpha/beta, but I personally believe that the best comments are not those that say "you should change/fix this" but instead say "this is working for me/this isn't working for me." It leaves it open for the writer to figure out how to solve the problem, if a problem even exists.

**Edited Summer 2024**

To paraphrase a writer I used to respect and did have some good advice, when people tell you something isn't working for them, they're always right. When they tell exactly what is wrong or how to fix it, they are always wrong.

TL;DR: Basically, you aren't here to give advice, or fix anything, or change the story in any way. You are here to show the writer how their story impacts you, what you connected with, what you didn't, how their writing style works for you. Keep your comments open-ended and use specifics to show the writer what you connected with and what you didn't. You are giving the writer insight into how readers will interpret and understand their work, and it is the writer's duty to then grow their work.

And that leads directly into our final section...

How Much Should You Talk to the Writer About It?

This depends on the writer. Sometimes, writers will do 5+ betas at once (even on the same document) in which case they might not talk individually with the readers about any of the comments. Some writers (not me lol) will have an alpha as they write the first draft so it's not even complete yet, so they would probably talk a lot.

Personally, some betas I talk to for hours trying to brainstorm fixes (see: @jamieanovels and @wildswrites lmao tysm 🙏), and some betas I will just say "thanks for reading <3" and that's about it. It depends on how much you commented, the types of comments, and if I felt like you genuinely connected with the story (or not).

Side Note: I do want to clarify that by "misinterpret" below I don't mean that the readers are wrong, I just mean that they interpreted differently than what the writer had in mind. There is no misinterpretation when it comes to any form of art. But if a writer intended for the Main Takeaway of their story to be one thing, but the majority of readers took away another—that's important for the writer to learn in the beta stage. (Also, some stories are vague or open to multiple interpretations on purpose.)

For me, I talk in-depth with alphas, and maybe some betas, but there are also a lot of betas I barely talk to. I don't think there is a right or wrong here. Because as stated above, alphas/betas are here to provide insight into how readers interpret, relate to, and understand the story.

So once the writer gets that, there may not be anything else to talk about. Or, maybe the writer has questions about something you commented, and will want to follow up. For me, especially if you interpreted something way differently than I intended, I might want to follow up to see what in the narrative made you go that direction. Or, if you interpreted exactly as I intended, I may want more insight into which parts stood out the most to you, or what your favorite parts were. Or... I might not feel the need to follow up at all, for either.

In general, in my opinion, writers should be leading these interactions. Unless the writer has welcomed it, readers shouldn't be reaching out to writers to further discuss the comments they left.

(Note: this is not the same as hype/fangirling. Please come to my dms unsolicited and go hype about my book)

You have agreed to read it and leave comments, but the writer has not agreed to have full discussions with you about their own work. The writer doesn't owe you follow-up on the comments you leave, and whether they liked or disliked, agreed or disagreed with your comments doesn't really matter.

You may leave comments that are totally out of line with what the writer wanted, and that's fine. You might leave comments that make the writer uncomfortable, and that's fine too. We can't control these things, and there is no way to know how someone will interpret a story or what comments they might leave.

That said, If a writer doesn't follow up with you on anything, that doesn't mean your comments were bad. It might just be the writer's style to process and make changes alone. Even if you "misinterpret" their work, or even dislike it, all perspectives bring something to the table. Giving the writer insight into how one might "misinterpret" and/or dislike what they've written can be just as valuable as the betas who loved it.

Regardless, it's important to comment in a respectful way—respectful to the writer and what types of feedback they request, the story itself, and yourself as a reader. We are all growing and learning together, and miscommunication or writers and betas who have misaligned goals can lead to hurt on both sides. Hopefully this longass post gave you some insight into how/why that happens, and how to avoid it in the future.

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ANYWAY that was a lot. I hope you got something out of this, because it took a week to write this up lmao

–mj

P.S. I am considering doing another in this series focusing on writers and how to handle comments (good and bad). If you'd be intersted in that let me know <3

P.P.S. if you'd like to be tagged in this series, message me or comment below!

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1king-of-nothing1 · 1 month ago

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Hello everyone! How are you all doing? I'm feeling pretty good.

_______________

This is my first interaction with this app, and I'm a bit nervous.

If you haven't read the description yet, here's a quick overview:

This post is related to Bungo Stray Dogs. :)

It mainly serves as a space for me to ask a few questions. I've been wanting to write a male isekai reader insert set in the Bungo Stray Dogs universe, but I need your help to make it happen!

I've always wanted to write a fanfic, but I struggle to choose just one idea. I know that if I keep getting different ideas, I won't be able to start anything, so I'm asking for your opinions in this book, which is more like an idea gathering space. :)

First and foremost:

As I mentioned, I have multiple ideas that are too varied to fit into a single fanfic, even though they all share the same foundation—an isekai male reader who may or may not be a bit of a "dilf." In short, in an older mental age.

Bungo Stray Dogs needs some functional adults because, let’s face it, they all seem to be lacking in that department—along with a bit of common sense!

Please vote for the idea you’d like to see the most! Naturally, the one with the most votes will be the one I start working on fully.

Here are the ideas:

1. Chuuya's Clone Reader :

In this scenario, you—dear reader—find yourself in the body of a clone of Port Mafia executive Chuuya Nakahara. The story will begin around the dark era of the series, possibly a bit before when Chuuya is 17.

2. Normal Isekai :

In this story, it’s just you (although you may appear a bit younger). Keep in mind that the reader is mentally older. If you choose this option, please let me know where you’d like the reader to start:

Port Mafia :

The government :

On the streets, living independently :

The most realistic option for someone without an identity appearing out of nowhere but having something useful to offer. This story would also start with 17-year-old Chuuya and Dazai.

3. Arahabaki Reader :

In this idea, instead of the reader simply getting a new body, the reader's soul becomes misplaced and comes into contact with Arahabaki's energy, resulting in a merging of sorts. So, you essentially become Arahabaki. This story will also focus on Chuuya and will begin at the end of Stormbringer. There will be some spoilers, but I’ll keep them to a minimum. Just know that Chuuya and Dazai are 16 in this scenario.

(By the way, Chuuya is my favourite, if you can’t tell! I just recently read Stormbringer.)

4. Next Gen Reader :

This idea is a bit ridiculous, but I find it quite funny! You will need to choose a Bungo Stray Dogs ship that you like, and the reader will be a mixed “abomination”—a fun child of sorts. This story will start at the beginning of the anime. It won’t necessarily be a ship-focused fanfic, and there won't be any “mpreg” (male pregnancy). The reader will simply inherit genes from two characters. The humour here comes from the outrageous theories the Bungo Stray Dogs cast develops about the reader's existence.

No one has considered that the world is just messing with them again!

This idea will be treated as mostly crack but with some serious elements.

If you vote for this idea, please let me know what ship you prefer or just the two "parents" you’d like to see. The most requested duo will be the one I choose.

I want to add that I use the stories of Chuuya and Dazai to help clarify the timeline. They have the most straightforward events and years in Bungo Stray Dogs that I could understand. This way, we won’t get lost in the timeline, friends! :)

If you choose the reader with an ability, please specify what kind of ability you’d like!

I really hope you’ll take a moment to vote so I can start planning for the fics.

____________

Thank you for your time, and good morning. Good evening, and good night! ;)

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #reader insert #male reader #bsd x reader #male reader insert #bsd x male reader #please vote. The fic ideas are eating my brain away.

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dabihawksluvr · 4 months ago

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BakuDeku In The Story (My Opinion)

Note: I am talking about Platonic BakuDeku, not the ship. Just to clarify, because I'm talking about the canon and not fanon.

^^^ I am not reblogging this or revealing who the user is, because I don't want a 'back and forth' to happen that goes nowhere. So y'all only get a screenshot, and if you end up finding the user who gave this response NO YOU DID NOT. I am not doing this to hate on anyone, I just wanna give my opinion on this without backlash on me or this person.

To be fair, I could write about my hate for Endeavor all day long (just as an example). But I'm not gonna do that, I'd rather write about things I enjoy. So, let's get on with why I think Bakugo's progression in the story is one of the best in the story.

First point, keep in mind that him and Izuku were both believed to eventually have a quirk as early as kindergarten/preschool. So when Bakugo got his, and it was a 'powerful' quirk, this started him being a prodigy. But society still failed him, in the aspect that they made him feel above everyone else simply for having something 'better' than them. And they all did this, without contemplating the consequences this would have on him later.

Same as with Izuku - he was ostracized for being quirkless, including by Bakugo. And at first, we see it's because Bakugo had this sense of 'protection' over him (and mostly rivalry but they were best friends at that time so it makes sense they'd talk about 'protecting' one another). But when Izuku wouldn't give up, it made him mad. Why was the quirkless 'Deku' still trying to be a hero, even with no quirk? It just didn't make sense, because those with no quirk didn't become heroes...or really anything, for that matter.

Here, we see perfectly how society fucked them over from the start. Society was the one that praised Bakugo, while shunning Izuku. And it led to that rift in their relationship, which only started to 'mend' when both went to UA and Bakugo discovered he was not special. It's the same as seeing a kid from the boonies get into the top college after highschool, only to find out they don't even make Top Ten no matter how hard they train/study because there are others who are far better than them.

His 'prodigy' status only carried him so far, yes he did train himself but he's too arrogant and reckless to be taken seriously once he is actually in an environment where there are other 'prodigies' all competing to be taken seriously as well. He's no longer #1 in the class, and every single person he encounters basically treats him like a 'villain' because of how brash he is with literally everything.

And at first, yeah he's a BIG dickwad for a good number of seasons. But we see that he actually starts to change bit by bit, he sees he was wrong and starts to confront a little bit of why he is this way (especially towards Izuku). He realizes, in his own ways, that the system failed him too. If he wasn't labeled as a 'prodigy', and Izuku wasn't ostracized, they would've still been great friends even into adulthood. But society told them different, that they could not be friends anymore solely because one was 'better' than the other.

And that's the point. The entire series shows how society fails everyone, from the 'best' to the 'worst'.

We see All Might become the symbol of peace, but it causes complacency and when he has to finally retire it erodes the society that as built around the 'ideal' they all pushed onto him (i.e. that he'll never die and he would always be that symbol of peace for everyone).

We see Toga being ostracized for her quirk, even by her own family, and all because it is 'different' without understanding her viewpoint or even her own feelings on the matter.

We see Iida almost become a 'villain' to save his brother's legacy, all because it destroyed the sense of heroism he had and seeing that even 'good' heroes can perish.

Every. Single. Character. Is a victim.

Yes, some did do terrible things of their own accord after the trauma was enacted on them. But trauma is not always abuse or bullying. Trauma is also whenever society pushes things onto literal children, accepting that they are put into 'categories' and never acknowledging what that does to them mentally later on. Because it all benefits those at the top, not those who are just regular people trying to live their days as best they can.

So, in short, Bakugo is a victim too. It doesn't make him special for being a cog in the system, but it should be acknowledged regardless that he is an important factor in Izuku's story. If he wasn't, the story would convey that.

And yeah, we can argue that it was popularity that made his story bigger (like how Shoto became part of the Core Three rather than a side character). But if we see it from Izuku's perspective, Bakugo is important in his life - moreso than any other. Whether that be for romantic or platonic reasons, that's something he'd have to figure out himself.

My whole point here is that, denying Bakugo was a victim in any capacity is just another part of the problem. And denying that he actually got better once he realized this (in his own way) is also part of the problem. It's a reason why a lot of villains became who they are, because society fucked them up and never fixed it.

If anyone still hates Bakugo, fine. I can understand why, his personality can be very abrasive and unkind. But for me, I kin him a lot and through him I learned that even the most 'bad' can become better once they realize that society and their own ego are the issue.

#bnha #my hero academia #mha #boku no hero academia #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers

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arkhaline · 9 months ago

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My Complete Thoughts on RvB: Restoration

Major spoilers for the entire season below the cut!

I think the biggest sin of this season was not clarifying when it takes place, as it cheapened a lot of the twists by genuinely confusing me or contrasting information that we had already been given in S15-S18. Keep this in mind for the rest of the review.

Maybe the allusion to Caboose’s voice being “misremembered” was confirmation that it was in fact a simulation post-S13, but it still wasn’t super clear to me. Especially since Dylan was talking about the Reds and Blues (even though I know they met post-S10), which kinda made it feel like Restoration could be post-S18 (unless that was the point). There was just enough ambiguity that it really could have gone either way for most of the movie.

I feel like the humor was a bit off?? Maybe it was a generational gap since the show was going back to someone who hasn’t written for it in a while and is older than the current writers (case in point: he used tropes that Gen Z makes fun of a lot, e.g. he’s right behind me isn’t he). The Zoom call bit also went on WAY too long. The metacommentary about the changing attitudes toward RT also felt a bit tone deaf. In general, a lot of the trademark RvB banter just felt stale, it was the more general dialogue that was stronger (though Church telling Caboose to shut up when Simmons was talking did make me laugh).

Also, Grif was so angry all the time at the beginning?? Felt out of character and took me out of those early scenes. Maybe it was a setup for the whole discharge subplot but it just felt… off

The writing was just a bit clunky at the beginning, felt very direct and exposition-y, but that might be because they had so much to cover in so little time. It resolved itself later, anyway (except for the rapid fire ending, there was so much to unpack there).

Alright enough complaining about the general format, here are my more detailed thoughts.

Sheila!!! That is all.

I can excuse Caboose secretly speaking Spanish the whole time because there was a bit in S16 (maybe 17? can’t remember) where he understands something that Lopez said.

I initially completely missed the fact that the Meta’s color scheme was an allusion to Felix, that is so fucked up. Tucker dressed in the colors of the man he hates the most about to kill his closest friends? Jesus.

The Director being Epsilon’s therapist in the YouTube video made me laugh really hard.

Speaking of therapists, Wash was patient 619-B and I think that was the Counselor’s voice. Is the implication that he survived in this timeline?? Because he died before Epsilon fractured himself, so that much should at least be set in stone. Not really clear on that.

The “Great Destroyer” thing felt a bit retcon-y, but I can get behind it well enough.

I got so excited when 479er showed up, glad that we got confirmation that she made it out of Recovery okay. Wish we could’ve seen her and Wash (and Carolina) interact though.

I wish they had done Sarge’s death a bit differently. Kinda wish he hadn’t been all “that worked out well!” only to be stabbed, it felt very “he’s right behind me isn’t he” and made the fact that he was about to be stabbed obvious from a million miles away. There’s definitely something to be said about him sacrificing himself for a blue, and the deathbed interactions he had with the others were really good, but it kinda just felt like shock value?? Like there wasn’t enough build up to the payoff, it just kinda seemed like he decided to save Caboose last minute without any major character motivations or development behind the decision.

Which is another thing, it felt like it relied a LOT on Red vs. Blue dynamics in the beginning, and I was fucking flabbergasted when they actually left Caboose behind. The same people who broke time to save Wash would just leave Caboose to die like that? No way.

Meta!Tucker felt like it wasn’t explored enough, mostly just “no I won’t do your bidding” and “yes you will” back and forth with no real depth. However, credit where credit is due, I LOVED how this gave us a new perspective to Maine’s descent into madness. That ten-years-of-torture-in-a-few-seconds thing? So fucked up. Can you imagine being tortured by the remnants of your best friend, who have zero regard for your well-being? If they did all of that to Tucker in the short time they were together, just imagine what they did to Maine to get him to the point he was at at the end of S10/by Recollection.

Bonus points for the fact that the fragments tortured Tucker without a second thought when they themselves are a result of torture. They seemed to spare no empathy for Tucker despite having been through this themselves. Then again, I suppose they are they are copies of the original Leonard Church, who had no such qualms.

Didn’t realize that Meta!Tucker was voiced by Miles Luna (aka Felix’s voice actor) until the credits, that was an extra layer of fucked up and I loved it.

I really enjoyed Wash’s plot for the most part. I was definitely super intrigued the whole time since so much of his subplot didn’t add up from his perspective. I mean, I think he deserved something more for a send-off since most of his arc wasn’t really related to his character as a whole (besides the freelancer thing at the end). However, I still enjoyed it for what it was worth.

Additionally, if this is post-S13, I wish they’d clarified because I assumed that Wash was suffering from cerebral hypoxia and not some other injury. They kept alluding to something that happened on Chorus, but I wasn’t clear on the fact that it was a separate timeline of events. The Doc plot twist threw me off a lot more as a result.

I could tell he was gonna launch himself off the cliff and it still made me laugh hysterically.

I’m glad that the final battle was in Blood Gulch. It’s cliché, but it felt full-circle. Plus, it was the best resting place for Sarge in canon and a good set-up for a “why were we here” moment.

I knew Simmons was gonna have his arm broken but I still gasped anyway. And when the shotgun was cut in half??? Bro my jaw was on the floor, it was like when John Wick’s dog was killed (probably, I’ve never seen that movie). But the way Simmons cocked the shotgun with one hand was badass as hell, good for him.

I’m glad we got something resembling a Simmons character arc? I think it relied a lot on setup from previous seasons of him becoming a leader, with little to no actual development in S19 itself, but it still felt at least decently satisfying.

“Best throw ever. Of all time” made me laugh, I love a good callback. Actually, there were a lot of fun callbacks to jokes, like the irony bit. They were greatly appreciated.

Tucker getting launched by a warthog actually made me laugh really hard, I love the “shotgun as a code word” bit so much.

The Tex plot twist was SO GOOD, I totally didn’t see it coming. Much better direction to go anyway, since we already put Church to rest in S15. So glad that Caboose was able to get his moment in the spotlight and have the smartest plan of all of them. Unless it was Church’s plan, in which case I find it so sweet that he wanted to bring Tex back instead of himself (even if it did cheapen the S9 “let her go” thing a bit). I also really loved the callback where her armor turned black because of the teleporter, that was really good.

I got so excited when they started playing Round One I’ll be honest. Also, I Say Ooh?? Was not expecting that one.

In all honesty, I didn’t love the soundtrack (kinda felt stock music-y and cliché in a lot of parts, plus it didn’t have the musical style that we’ve come to expect from RvB). It was fine, but nothing to write home about. The campfire song was good too. I know about the whole thing where Trocadero wouldn’t join on unless everyone was brought back on, and now that we know that RT is shutting down, it’s possible that this was because multiple musical artists just weren’t in the budget. That said, it’s a shame that there weren’t more original songs.

I called that Carolina was gonna be Recovery (though now I think about it, why was she doing Recovery?? was it even Recovery since Charon had been shut down??? What happened to her after Chorus???? Also her talking about how her and Wash would do everything together from now on meanwhile she left him behind in some hospital?????). Anyway, the fight with her and Tex was SO fan service-y but I ate it up anyway, good for them.

Tex winning because she was a collection of the Reds and Blues’ memories and she always won against them was so, so good, something to be said about the positive nature of the memories of your friends (I mean just look at how happy they had been when recounting everything they’d been through!)

Also if just talking about someone was enough to create a functional AI, it kinda makes the whole “torturing Alpha to make more AI” thing totally pointless and retcons the entire show but. Whatever.

TEX DESERVED THIS ENDING!! I like the S9 ending in a lot of ways, it was poetic that she was finally allowed to rest after being dragged back so many times against her will, but I think it also felt incomplete because I don’t know if being put to rest was what Tex herself would actually want. There is a significant difference between not electing to bring her back again and choosing to take her out of the fight. Tex was never allowed to make her own decisions, not even in S9. This ending was entirely on her terms, which I think was fantastic.

I loved the rockslide, it reminded me a lot of the ice fight from S8 was just generally very fun.

It’s established that Tucker became the Meta because he had several AI when just two was enough to almost kill Carolina. If this isn’t the canon timeline, then why didn’t Tucker become the Meta in that one? For a reason besides “the writers didn’t think of it”.

I hope that Burnie came up with the idea for this season by reading Meta!Tucker fan fiction.

The Doc thing was so??? Why did they do a Sixth Sense. Like I think that twist would have worked a LOT better if they made it clearer when this took place (I kept flip flopping on whether this was an alternate timeline post-S13 or main timeline post-S18 up until this point, which made the whole Doc-died-on-Chorus thing feel like it came out of nowhere since, if it was post-S18, we knew that Doc survived Chorus. It also makes Epsilon’s sacrifice to get them all out of there feel a bit cheaper since they didn’t all get out of there, but maybe that suggests that S15-S18 are the main timeline).

How did Doc heal Wash’s leg?? Was it even broken in the first place??? Did they ever clarify that????

I GASPED when the Freelancers showed up. It was camp as hell and hard to take seriously but also I don’t even care. I’m glad he got some kind of goodbye, since he was always too late to do so as a Recovery agent.

Kinda funny that Wyoming wasn’t there but Florida was, and also South was there even though Wash murdered her in cold blood. Anyway.

When One showed up I felt every emotion I think

Bro where the hell was Donut? There was no good reason for him not to at least show up, maybe on the pelican with One or something. Especially since S16 and S17 were dedicated to an entire arc about how everyone should stop disrespecting Donut, like come on.

Edit: did a little research and it might be because there’s no pink armor in the game this season was filmed in? Which is so hard to believe, since Halo has so many references to RvB. I can’t believe they would just cut out the armor colors of one of the main characters and make it impossible for him to return in the way we know him, it’s messed up.

I know time was short, but I wish we had more time to explore Tucker’s feelings post-Meta. Especially since he killed Sarge, even though it definitely wasn’t his fault. There probably wasn’t enough time to get into all that, but still, he seemed remarkably fine after everything that had happened. I guess that kind of exploration is what AO3 is for lol.

I have mixed feelings about the end for Tex and Church. On one hand, Tex calling herself Allison Church was so sweet and I loved how caring she was, it reminded me of when she said goodbye to Alpha during the Freelancer saga. Also, the fact that there was finally a Church free of the memories of his predecessors felt very satisfying. However, I kind of wish that they could have just had their happily ever after and stayed in the memory unit. I understand the decision—destroying the remaining AI was really the best way to make sure Project Freelancer was put to rest forever—but I kinda feel like she and Church deserved better than simply being put down after everything they’d been through.

One final team kill for Caboose. Ow.

The animation was really, really good!! It looked much better than that plasticky look the trailer had. I didn’t love Epsilon’s animations (they felt a bit jerky and overacted), but otherwise I think they did a really great job. I especially loved how they animated the AI on Tucker’s visor, it looked cool as hell.

I think one of the things this season suffered from was the overall tonal shift in the writing. Burnie hadn’t written for, and Matt hadn’t solely directed, a season in a LONG time. We’ve come to expect more character-focused narratives that dive into the nuisances of the characters and their relationships, and we didn’t really get that here (unless you count Sarge’s deathbed confession to Grif that he was hard on him because he wanted him to be more, which still felt a bit shallow. Actually, there are lot of things which could be considered set-ups in retrospect, but their intended payoffs didn’t feel like payoffs). I think there was a consequential whiplash as compared to what we have come to expect from RvB, and while the writing style we got wasn’t inherently bad (again, I liked a lot of it), it was definitely different.

I really, really hated that Grif left at the end. That’s literally the antithesis of his S15 arc, which felt much more complete and true to the character than this one. It’s impossible not to compare these arcs because of how inherently similar they are, and because I believe the S15 arc is superior (Grif’s exhaustion was a more subtle and believable reaction than this Grif’s raw anger, and his realization of how much he relied on his team was much more powerful than this Grif just tapping out), it makes the S19 Grif arc feel poorly thought out.

Also, he wanted to be discharged, but I don’t think they worked for the UNSC or any other military organization after Chorus since they all retired, so was any of that really necessary? Maybe retirement is just a vessel, so to speak, to represent Grif leaving adventure behind him for good. Still, I liked the way S15 handled this arc a lot more.

Vale Deah. Ow.

NO GRIMMONS??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

The most we got was Grif leaving and asking Simmons to come with him but like. “not scared to take risks my ass”, Burnie.

Honestly, I think this season was a victim of its format. Eighty minutes isn’t a lot of time to properly send off these characters, especially when RvB as a format is based on multi-season arcs. There just wasn’t enough time to build up tension or explore the dynamics of something as extreme as Meta!Tucker in a way that would feel satisfying. That said, I think Burnie did a pretty good job fitting as many things as he did into this format. A part of me is almost glad that Grimmons wasn’t made canon? I feel like it might’ve felt rushed to give it a satisfying arc in just 80 minutes in addition to all of the other shit going on, and I think after 21 years they deserved at least a satisfying resolution. However, they did NOT deserve an ending which implied that they would never see each other again, what the fuck.

TL;DR? 7.5/10. Far from perfect, and there were a lot of creative decisions made that I heavily disagree with. However, they did a lot right, too, and it still seems heartfelt in a way that helps me overlook some of its flaws. Overall, I enjoyed this season for what it was worth. There are some qualities of S17 that I think made for a better final goodbye to these characters, and some qualities of S19 that I think made for a better goodbye (in all honesty I never finished S18, but it wasn’t really a “goodbye” season anyway). Wrapping up a 21-year-old series is very difficult, and I have a lot of respect for Burnie and the others who worked on Restoration for what they put together. Truthfully, I’m gonna pick and choose which segments of S17 and S19 are canon in my heart (S17 is still the overall canon ending for me), but I’m happy with what we got in the end.

Anyways, I’m happy to chat more in the replies, let me know your thoughts!

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb s19 #rvb restoration #RvB s19 spoilers #RvB restoration spoilers #RvB spoilers #red vs blue spoilers

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sunnywalnut · 11 months ago

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I've got so many new followers....

Uh.... hi? Everyone?

Nice to meet y'all. ^^

As for intros..

My name is Sunny. Or Walnut. Sun. Wal. Whatever you like, honestly. I'm not picky. And I do like nicknames so I'm vibing .

I am a man. So he/him for me, please.

20 years old. Yeah I know I'm childish. No I'm not an actual child. There might be the occasional reblog of some minor suggestive or raunchy jokes, but all in all I like to keep it mostly family friendly. Please, if you're under the age of 18, don't ask to dm.

I do a few motivational posts, both for myself and everyone else, as well as long winded poetry, rambles, vague creative writing, and just random shitposts with a dash of Internet activism. Because I like it when the world is a better place and you should too.

DNI: homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, sexists, Zionists, antisemits, ableists, and all the other big bads. If you drop comments harassing people, I will delete and block you. That won't fly here. This is my space and you will respect it as such.

I have recently turned off anon asks because of this. You can, however, send me asks and request to be anonymous when I respond to them! I will simply just screenshot the ask, crop out your url/name, and reply to it in my own post.

That all being said, if I actually DO post something that is harmful or doesn't sit right, please let me know in a respectful manner!

My intention is never to hurt people. I know for a fact that I can get caught up in my own head and my words can get jumbled (as can anyone else's) so I am more than willing to listen and learn, as well as explain my points of speaking to try and figure out better ways to make them clear.

Keep in mind. I am Autistic. Meaning I have a disability that sometimes makes it harder to make connections between words and emotion, reading tone, and also making sure that my words are clear and concise.

If you have a problem or disagreement with anything I have said, it would be very much appreciated if you would be kind, direct, and respectful when explaining it to me. I might not get it at first, so I will ask clarifying questions, but it's only ever to understand the situation thoroughly.

Thank you and have a good day!

#intro post #edits done regularly

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flagellant · 2 years ago

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Hey, this is a weird and heavy question that could land you in hot water no matter which direction you answer in, so feel free to just ignore me, it's not imperative that you answer or anything. But I don't have a lot of kink-positive (or frankly sex-positive) people that I trust and you seem to have put a lot of time and work into that kind of stuff (or maybe it just comes naturally to you! Regardless, I value your opinion).

I don't know how to make my peace with age regression as a kink, or if I even need to. I've done a lot of unlearning when it comes to a sanitized, puritanical mindset that I was raised with. My general opinion now is "if no one's in danger of getting hurt just leave it be". But I can't help but see people who participate in age regression as a huge red flag- depending on their role in the situation. If I'm friends with someone and they tell me they have a "little" persona or whatever sure that makes me internally cringe but mostly I just feel bad for them because they almost always have trauma. (Baby talk makes me wanna barf but maybe that's a me problem). But when I learn that someone is into people who essentially act like a child or a baby in the bedroom, I'm gonna run for the fucking hills. That just seems like a giant red flag to me- if someone is able to get into a mindset where they can be sexual with someone who's acting like a child, I have a hard time feeling okay around that person.

I know you're no professional, and I'm not here to get validation. Like I said, I just value your insight and I'm wondering if you can introduce me to a new way of thinking about this. Am I wrong to write off someone for a sexual preference as long as it's technically between two consenting adults? Should I be challenging my thinking?

If you do take the time to answer this, know that I appreciate you so much. If you can't answer, I hope you have a good day anyways.

I feel as though relatively often there is confusion when it comes to the idea of kink positivity with regards to this sort of context. It can seem confusing or even impossible, because there are those who act as though being kink positive is the same thing as being personally anything-goes, fetishwise. It's just a matter of vocabulary--we hear "kink positive" and logically assume "we need to feel positive about this kink", right?

Except that's really not the case, no more than landback as a movement demands for creating native american ethnostates by "giving all the private property of america back". The reality is always a bit more complex.

For your specific example of age regression as a kink, it's a pretty common sentiment to just not like it and not want to engage with it. I feel that way--it isn't a matter of value or moral, it's just something that on a personal level I don't like and want nothing to do with.

But the key part of kink positivity is that I need to recognize that I can not be into something without making it a moral judgement on those who are. As you say: If the people involved are all consenting adults, it isn't my place to pass judgement or tell them how to live their lives so long as no one is getting hurt. I need to trust that as adults, they are capable of handling their own sex lives without my intervention. It is not my place to butt in and tell people that because I find their kinks gross that they need to watch out for red flags, any more than it would be anyone else's place to do the same to you.

Anon, you seem to be sort of trapped halfway. You are capable of understanding what kink positivity is supposed to be, but you're not--and forgive me if I'm wrong--really willing to seriously examine what "supposed to be" means when your personal tastes are being challenged. You're saying you're not asking me for validation, but you are asking verbatim "Am I wrong to write off someone for sexual preference as long as it's between two consentint adults?".

I don't really feel like I need to clarify the answer on that, Anon. I'll just point out that you should imagine how you would feel if someone wrote you off morally for one of your sexual preferences when it takes place between yourself and other consenting adults, and whether or not you feel the justifications you'd make against that person could be meaningfully different than the ones someone who participates in age regressions would make to you.

At the end of the day, framing it internally as "It seems like a red flag" is just a way to frame your reaction as morally superior. It is a way of saying "I'm not judging this badly because I don't personally enjoy it, I'm trying to help people. Them doing this is dangerous and I need to be involved and even be against them doing this for their own good". It is the same pearl-clutching Puritan thinking as any fundamentalist Christian would, and it leads to the same thing: Telling full-grown adults that how they have sex between themselves is fundamentally wrong and that your dislike at the very idea of them partaking in it takes priority over their ability to partake in it at all.

I'd suggest asking yourself whether or not you feel as though you'd be respected if someone approached you and told you that, yes, they understand that you're a fully grown adult consenting to sex in this manner, but they don't trust your ability to consent because it seems to them as though there's red flags involved and therefore they DO have a right to get involved in your sex life. For your own good, of course. It isn't your fault that you're into something bad like this. You're traumatized. It's just that people who want to have sex with you are actually taking advantage of you and hurting you, and you just don't know it because you're traumatized, so it's up to other people to tell you how you should and shouldn't have sex and who you shouldn't have sex with.

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kooki914 · 2 months ago

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Sorry if this is unrelated to what is normally asked but when writing, do you find it harder to express yourself creatively in English compared to Serbian? I was told that English is a very direct language and that other languages let you express yourself better emotionally, but I'm not sure since I only speak English.

(Don't apologise for your ask, I actually appreciate something that isn't an art request lmao) This is actually a fascinating question to ask, and sadly I am an outlier in this and probably the wrong person to ask.

I'm very, VERY bad at expressing myself in Serbian, my vocabulary shrunk considerably over the years because English was incentivised and encouraged for a lot of reasons, none of them really that good. It was mostly easier media consumption and instinctual isolation from my peers contrasted to Serbian which I essentially used like a professional language only, as my friends and family all understood my English substitutes phrases in place of Serbian ones.

This has the very funny (or sad) consequence that I find English not only easier to write in, but more NATURAL to write in. Maybe Serbian DOES have more variety of certain expressions (the infamous fuck post is one of my favourite examples of this) but not only do I lack the vocabulary, but I also lack incentive. Everything I've grown used to, everything I identify with, is so much easier to express in English, it's been like that for me since I was 10 and it's essentially hard-wired into me now. ESPECIALLY when it comes to creative endeavors - nearly all the media I consume is in English so making fancontent, for me, is naturally going to be in English, too. And don't even get me STARTED on my original creative work which 9 times out of 10 I don't even know how I'd translate to Serbian.

It's tragic because the Serbian language is already being lost to an extent, and everyone can see the beginning signs of a language that's fizzling away, and I feel guilty for contributing to it, but at the same time alienated from that which I'm supposed to be preserving. The homophobia and transphobia most of all, all of it rooted in the insistence on orthodox Christianity as part of the Serbian Identity™, and don't even get me STARTED on the misogyny rampant in this culture. Virdžine are often brought up as an example of an in-culture nonbinary identity, which is incorrect on multiple fronts, as they're instead an example of how ye-olden Serbians would rather you trans your gender than own land as a woman. It's embarrassing. It all makes it hard for me to be invested in a language that's kind of difficult to use to express queer experiences and much better at demonizing them (eg. there is no neutral pronoun that isn't "it" and degrading, if you're a person you are LITERALLY either male or female grammatically, and grammatical gender is woven into every INCH of communication in Serbian).

"English is more direct" may be true, but it's a kind of directness you can, well, direct. It's simple and malleable and, in my experience, you can shape it to say whatever you want as long as you clarify every piece of your statement. I'm sure you've noticed how much I love run-on sentences. It's like a pocket knife instead of a all-in-one pocket tool. Sure, maybe I don't have a nail filer or hammer in my arsenal when expressing myself, but using ONLY a knife to illustrate something can feel kind of satisfying, because it's a tool you know how to wield better than anything else... For me, at least. It's thriving within limitations instead of seeking to break them, maybe. Or maybe I'm getting overly philosophical lmao

In conclusion, I've been westernised from a young age and having nearly all lgbtq+ discussion take place in English or with anglicised phrases means a lot of the way I understand my identity is inherently tied to English rather than my mother tongue, which then further means all my creative endeavors are rooted in English, too.

Sadly. English fucking sucks half of it is just French with a Germanic coat of paint.

#asks #not art #rambles #i think this counts as an honorary kooki struggletweet bc this has been sitting in my drafts for way too long #me when i forgot what this ask was about halfway through answering it. im so sorry anon i have holes in my brain

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hawkogurl · 10 months ago

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Yeah, I basically had a similar reading on Insomniac!Harry as you did, I think - I do like him a lot, and I definitely see why he would the most popular version of him in the fandom right now, but he's a very smoothed over and simplified version who feels written to be as broadly loveable as possible, if that makes sense? I read a very thoughtful critique of the game recently that described Harry as being Peter's 'comically perfect' best friend, and I think that gets at the game's take on him and ties neatly into what you said about how the characters in Insomniac feel like they're written mostly to serve Peter's story and character, which is not necessarily a bad thing when he's the protagonist, but can flatten characters into narrative devices who don't necessarily feel like full characters; and any time Harry could be perceived as doing or saying something flawed, he's justified, or at least it's understandable, and it doesn't help that the last part of the game where he's Venom was rushed (not the fault of the devs for being pushed by corporate to meet a deadline they couldn't meet ofc) and it's not really clear how much is the symbiote amplifying his emotions, manipulating him, or outright controlling him like a puppet for its own agenda - but any way, it's very easy and probably correct to read him as not being truly at fault for anything.

Regarding Norman, my take is that I don't necessarily mind an interpretation of him that focuses on corporate greed and lack of ethics while exploring what if Norman was villainous, but genuinely loves and cares for his son in this universe, but MSM2 weirdly wanted both that and the usual drama from Harry being jealous of an abusive Norman choosing Peter over him, so we got that awkward scene where Norman is doing no such thing and still being a great father, but Harry mistakenly believes he's choosing Peter - so it's manufactured drama to follow the universes where Norman is abusive and Harry has issues from that, but here, everyone is still a good or at least neutral person at worst and it's all an honest mistake, which goes back to what you said about taking the edge out of the characters here - doesn't mean they're bad, like you also clarified, but definitely softer.

Can’t form intelligent thoughts because I need to go to sleep but I’m going to say I agree with all of the above. He’s very palatable in a way that just becomes boring for me. I’ll probably come back and contribute later when I’m not barely conscious.

For now, I agree especially because them wanting the Norman drama but also sort of pussying out of the Norman drama sort of like… feels like a good example of what I mentioned in that when you write an established character but change a major aspect of them, you need to compensate. They wanted the benefits of those arcs but weren’t willing to either include the original arcs or do the work to come up with something that can get to point b in a different way with what they’ve kept. It’s not the best writing decision in my opinion. And I agree with that articles assessment he feels like, comically perfect. Scrubbing away all his unsavory aspects lost him a lot of the ways he’s flawed and interesting because it often feels he exists solely to progress Peter’s arc rather than having the personal drama he often has.

I don’t personally like these softer versions. I’m not gonna say it’s bad or wrong to like those versions, but they definitely feel watered down when it’s not looked at in isolation or looked at more critically. It rapidly became boring for me.

#harryposting #harry osborn #spider man #spiderman #peter parker #parksborn #insomniac spider man #Norman Osborn #msm2023 #marvels spider man 2 #msm2 #insomniac critical #for that filtering #because I’m not an asshole

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blackmageeljin · 6 months ago

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Hey! Just wanted to reach out and let any followers mostly here for my work on Repeat:|| know that I AM STILL WORKING ON IT! I REALLY AM!

I have about 20-25k words currently unpublished and am like... 1/2 to 2/3 to the end. I'm sure with Missing Link dropping soon KH will be driving the serotonin bus again and the hyperfocus will Get It Done.

Previously, it was easy to denote a section as 'done' when they moved on from a world, and so I could easily publish those sections. But as I entered the finale, keeping all the timey whimey stuff sorted and dealing with significantly more moving parts and suddenly a much larger cast of characters, I resolved to not begin posting again until the whole thing was done so I would have the luxury of shifting things around as needed.

It has taken a lot of time and recovery to just be able to feel comfortable using Tumblr again, or posting any kind of writing. I have a few Hazbin fics up because that fandom is generally less changed and it is easy to hide behind the Asexual Vore Demon. Also, I am not playing 5 dimensional time travel chess writing for it haha, so it is something that is just a lot easier to produce if I am not having a good health day. But honestly, even that took a lot of courage and I waited a long time before posting, as my agoraphobia became significantly more severe for a while. I spent a lot of time catching up in JJBA in the past few years too, but haven't posted any of the writing I've done for it for fear of the witch hunting doxxing campaigns that go on over ships and things over there.

Admittedly that has taken longer than anticipated for a lot of reasons ranging from ye olde social anxiety and fandom drama to just real world stuff. A tree fell on my house! On a happier note, I now have two goats and they are named Xehanort and Eraqus.

Admittedly, besides logistics, I am waiting until it is done to post because I don't want to deal with any drama/fallout for how I handle things like Xehanort's Actual Motivations™, how characters who have previously not had screen time get characterized, my understand of certain metaphysics, people being upset things Are Wrong when in fact I am referencing something that is explicitly canon from KHUX and such that they haven't played, a lack of understand of the inherent themes of moral philosophy and the duality of history, and, you know, people generally being bitchy. The finale is a turning point in a few ways, in that both the tone shifts and that it's when all the 'hot takes' come fully to light, so I am nervous. For people who have been nothing but supportive I will finish this. For you and for myself and for Sora and Xeha. But fuck if fandom spaces aren't as safe as they used to be, and I'm tired.

As a teaser some general things to look forward to are: Riku finding out about The Boyfriend, light squad screen time, yelling at Yensid, Ansem SoD but he has awkward estranged dad energy, ominous Vanitas implications, things that come out of Lea's mouth, Kairi being relevant.

And if you read this far, here's a lil preview snippet for you:

"After I do that, you gotta hand over your guardian.” Sora clarified. When Ansem nodded he reached his own hand forward and shook.

“Deal.”

Sora half expected some kind of sinister dark magic to flare up when they shook hands… but nothing happened. It was almost anticlimactic, just a normal handshake. That was… good? But it still left Sora waiting for the other shoe to drop again.

Sora turned around to face the other two who had come with him. “Alright then. I… guess I have some work to do.”

Xehanort began to answer, only to be cut off.

“Oh, and Sora? One more thing.”

Sora half turned back to the heartless, getting ready to give him an ear full for trying to pull something, but-

“Be sure to take careful care of my youngest self. By Vanitas’ logic, he is as my precious baby brother. It would be remiss of me not to do my familial duty and ensure the well being of his heart.”

To which Sora, unsurprisingly, turned bright red and began floundering helplessly.

“You!” Xehanort was not faring much better.

And Vanitas had gone from poorly hidden laughter to full blown cackling. Then he stepped forward and high fived the Heartless.

And that was… huh.

Something about that, about seeing Ansem of all people acting like a regular guy… high fiving his friend and laughing over something stupid and- and normal like teasing someone over their boyfriend and not something super evil or sadistic. He was a Heartless- and in a way, Vanitas sort of was too, right? But right now they were just acting like regular everyday people…

Sora adopted an overly dramatic serious expression and gave Ansem a salute. “I’ll have him back by 10, sir!”

“Sora!” Xehanort hissed full of betrayal. Sora flashed him an apologetic grin. Ansem’s grin was significantly less apologetic, if not amused.

“Good man.”

#eljin writes #repeat:||#soxeha #long author update post #i am legitimately too scared to tag this with any of the other tags i would usually use for this fic #look kh3 made dad joke ansem canon i dont make the rules #maybe i should make a much more ominous squeenix style teaser thats just vague philisophical quotes formatted dramtically with no context #then at the bottom it just says “sora”

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carriehobbs · 1 month ago

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*running at vampire speeds into your inbox* future poly au? 👀

ok so i have actually talked about the future poly au and alina's relationship with adam briefly before, so some of this will be a rehash of what i've said in other posts (sorry!!). i'll link the posts when they come up 💕

boring stuff out of the way at the top: i want to clarify that when i talk about the future poly au with adam/nate/alina i don't mean it in a "it's an 'au' or a headcanon because it's not an option in canon, but if it was i would take it" kind of way. the future poly au is really firmly an au in my mind, and when i envision alina's future post-book 7 it's with a romantic relationship with nate and a platonic relationship with adam. i'm also not likely to ever write it (especially the how-they-get-together part), since i think doing it justice would require something far more expansive than i'm really prepared to tackle, so it mostly just exists in the form of little posts and jokes to myself here and there.

all that being said!

i'm going to start by talking about alina and adam's platonic relationship, which is part of their "canon" future relationship (the point of divergence between their "canon" futures and the future poly au is after alina becomes a vampire, so there's 10+ (ish, please don't ask me how old alina is when she becomes a vampire) years of relationship to expand upon first). their platonic relationship is the foundation of their relationship in the future poly au (and the future poly au actually originated when i was trying to understand their friendship better! i was thinking about how they felt about each other as they got closer and where that could go and then said "wait a minute!!" and the future poly au was born 🥰).

so to start: alina hates adam's guts in book 1. she really does not have a good word to say about him. for someone who generally tries to be a team player and collaborator as much as alina does, it says a lot that she takes just about every opportunity she can to fight with adam. over time (through working with him and through deliberate effort to get along with the guy she likes's best friend), her relationship with him starts to improve. in book 2, alina and adam mostly treat each other with begrudging (professional) respect and tolerance.

book 3 is where major shifts start happening. it's at this point that they start to really see each other differently. to bring up something i've said about their relationship before:

over the course of book 2 and into book 3 they developed this slow, learned respect for each other [...] these 2 people who are very different in their approaches to the world around them and their work who learn to appreciate and even rely on those very differences (adam's stubbornness becoming steadfastness, alina's naivety becoming compassion).

in book 1, alina saw adam as stubborn, callous, and generally unpleasant to be around. by book 3, she's able to appreciate the qualities that she had dismissed before: adam is persistent, direct, and precise. similarly, in book 1, adam thought alina was naive, irresponsibly optimistic, and unworldly. by book 3, he views her as compassionate, hopeful, and curious. he is steady and reliable, and she is loyal and kind, and in each other they find someone who they can always count on to show up for them (even if they disagree and argue the entire time). over the course of books 4-7 (i say, knowing that these books haven't been released yet and so i don't really know how their relationship will develop during those books), their friendship only grows stronger.

(by book 4, alina's starting to realize that adam is kind of actually her friend instead of just her work friend/her boyfriend's best friend. when he shows up to fetch nate in the first chapter of the demo, she's frustrated and annoyed that her day off with nate was ruined, but she's not frustrated or annoyed with adam. she's actually kind of amused by him being there and the way he tries to rush nate out, as it's so quintessentially him.)

not to talk about my own wips, BUT: the excerpt of the alina turning fic i shared the other day kind of displays how their friendship has grown over the years. there's familiarity and a kind of quiet ease to the way they interact with and understand each other. it says a lot about their friendship that alina goes to adam to complain and to seek reassurance when she's nervous.

(and, to go on about my own wips a bit longer: it's not explicit in this excerpt, and i don't think i explicitly state it anywhere else in the fic, but alina very specifically does not want to talk to nate about this problem. she doesn't talk to nate, or farah (her best friend), or morgan, or her mother. she specifically chooses to confide in adam because she knows that he will offer her the kind of support she wants in that moment. that line about how alina takes a big drink and then says nate is off with the kids? while what she says is true (he is with the kids and they have gone over things together already), that is alina buying herself time to come up with an excuse as to why she's talking to her friend and not her husband about her feelings.)

so after all those years, adam and alina have had the time to go from hating to respecting to appreciating to genuinely liking each other. only now do they have the unshakable foundation of their friendship off of which we can build the future poly au.

i view the future poly au as having multiple moving parts. the first part is adam/nate. in this au, adam and nate are kind of in love and have been for a while. for centuries, their relationship has been toeing the ambiguous line between romantic and platonic and is defined by a depth of devotion and understanding that only comes from lifetimes worth of companionship. crucially: they are not aware they are in love with each other. put a pin in this for later.

the second moving part is adam/alina. both adam and alina quietly (and secretly) have this moment that i described the last time i talked about the future poly au:

it would definitely be a slow creep of feelings for both of them [...], with a realization one day that you look at this person you know so well and the feelings you have for them haven't been solely platonic for a while. their love would be born out of a deep mutual appreciation and respect.

they both respond to this revelation (that they have feelings for their best friend's wife/their husband's best friend) by promptly deciding to try and distance themselves from each other and let the feelings go away without ever addressing it (which i described here, in what might be one of the first posts i ever made about the future poly au).

for alina, she's trying to avoid the realization that she has feelings for someone who isn't nate and, while she would never deliberately be unfaithful to him, she struggles with this attraction to adam even as she is determined to never act on it. i mean, she's been married to nate for 10+ years and they have 3-5 children (please don't ask me how many children alina and nate have. or their names. or their ages) and she's a vampire so they've been planning on living out the rest of their forevers together and suddenly she has feelings for the worst possible person she could ever have feelings for. she tries to manage keeping her distance from adam and hoping the feelings will die on their own without letting anyone (nate, adam, or farah) know that anything is going on with her.

for adam, i had to consider both how he acts on the lt route (or what i understand he acts like on the lt route - i've never actually played it) and how he acts on his own route. my understanding of a on the lt route is that (despite the fact that nate and the detective could be in a relationship, depending on player choices), adam is more expressive about his feelings for the detective than he is on his own route, where he constantly tries to push away the detective and deter them from pursuing a relationship with him. in the context of the future poly au, however, i think adam would behave more like he does on his own route than he does in the lt: in the lt route, even if the detective and nate are together, it's a (relatively) new relationship. it could still be ended (if it's even been started) and adam could, conceivably, end up with the detective. in the future poly au, nate and alina have been married for 10+ years and have 3-5 children. the ship has sailed on "getting with alina" (alina has already chosen and firmly committed to nate) and the betrayal of trying to steal his best friend's wife of over a decade is (arguably) much worse than trying to steal his girlfriend of a (few? by the end of book 7? who knows when you will have to choose in the lt) year(s).

the third part is how these feelings get revealed. on one hand, (based on my understanding of the lt) nate would eventually figure out on his own that something is going on between adam and alina. however, (also based on my understanding of the lt) nate seems pretty willing to deliberately ignore the signs he's seeing because he does not want to read them. what i think is actually more likely is that alina, upon finding out that her feelings for adam are not simply disappearing like she wants them to, would eventually confess to nate that she's been developing feelings for adam. she would not be pitching this as a "so maybe we should all date" thing. she would approach the conversation as a "i love you and would never be unfaithful to you, i don't know why i'm having these feelings for adam and i've tried to make them go away, what do we do about this problem in our marriage" thing.

the fourth part is how they bring adam into all this. the first option is that they go to adam together to try and talk about the situation. this will go poorly. there is no way on this earth that adam is going to admit to both of them that he has feelings for alina and risk interfering with their marriage. he will not be the reason that milton looks up at him with big brown eyes and asks "uncle adam? why don't mom and dad love each other anymore?". not happening.

the other option is that alina's confession prompts a brief awkward period in their marriage wherein alina feels guilty and nate tries to deal with this revelation and meanwhile realizes that, hey wait. he might be in love with adam too. in this version, nate and alina would talk for quite a while first about what they want to do about the situation they find themselves in. because they're both in love with adam, but does adam feel the same way? would they want to pursue something with adam? would adam want something with them? how do they maintain their friendships with adam if they bring up being together and he doesn't want to, or if they don't bring it up and just know that this is something between them? how do they make sure their marriage remains intact throughout all of this, and how do they minimize any (potential) fallout for their children (who all love adam and have known him their entire lives - adam is even milton's godfather!). they would ask all these questions and then (because this is the future poly au and not the future almost-poly au) decide to talk to adam.

if i can be honest, i have no idea how they convince adam to admit his own feelings for alina, or realize and then admit his feelings for nate, or then after that agree to be in a relationship with them both. i haven't gotten that far yet. i have to assume it involves a lot of initial denial, yearning, private conversations between nate and alina about how to handle the situation, and more yearning.

eventually they all kiss. and then everyone's happy forever and ever.

#pd every time you ask me a question that lets me write an essay about my ocs an angel gets their wings #and boy is this an ESSAY. my bad SO sorry #answered #oc alina langford

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