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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years ago

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Alright, I read your recent post and need to know - what is your interpretation of Maglor’s relationship with the twins?

askjdhslkjag my biggest self-inflicted problem in this fandom is that my take on maglor, elrond, and elros' relationship is so intensely detailed and specific i am forever tormented by none of the fic i read ever quite getting it right (from my perspective; i’ve read plenty of fic that presents a good interpretation on their own terms, it’s just never mine.) it’s simultaneously way darker than the fluffy kidnap dads stuff and nowhere near as black-and-white awful as the anti-fëanorian crowd likes to paint it, it’s messy and complicated and surrounded by darkness, and yet there’s also a sincere connection within it which mostly serves to make all those complications worse. angry teenage elrond is angry for a great many reasons, and the circumstances around him being raised by kinslayers account for at least half of them. there’s lots of complexity here, and i don’t see it in fic nearly as often as i’d like

(warning: the post... feathers? i already have an internet friend called faeiri this could be awkward - anyway, the post she’s talking about includes the line ‘everyone is wrong about kidnap dads except me.’ this post follows on from that in being as much a commentary about why various popular interpretations of both how the kidnapdoption went and the way people subsequently characterise the twins just don’t work for me as it is a setting out of my own ideas. i’m not really interested in getting into discourse here, i’m just trying to get my thoughts down. i’ve read fic with these interpretations before that i’ve liked, even, don’t take this as a Condemnation, aight? also this turned out long as hell, so i’m putting it under a cut)

i can never buy entirely fluffy depictions of kidnap dads

which isn’t to say i don’t read them! sometimes all i want is something sweet, for these kids to get to be happy for once. it’s not like i think their time with the fëanorians was completely devoid of laughter

it’s just. the pet names, the special days out, the home-cooked meals, it can get so treacly it stops feeling like the characters they are in the situation they’re in and turns into Generic Found Family #272

it soaks out all the complexity - which is the thing i am here for - and acts like oh, these kids were never in any danger, they were perfectly happy being abducted by the people who murdered everyone they knew, there’s nothing possibly questionable about this relationship at all

and... yeah. that’s not the characters i know. that’s not the context i know they belong to

i just can’t forget the circumstances that led them to meet

rivers of blood, the air filled with screams, a town ablaze, a woman choosing to die. every interaction the three of them have is going to proceed from that nightmare

(sidenote: i tend to hold it was maglor that raised the twins, with maedhros looming ominously in the background not really getting involved. it’s mostly personal preference, i’ve been in and out of the fandom since before this kidnap dads thing blew up and when i joined that was a perfectly standard reading)

(also the cave thing was a dumb idea, old man, if only because it implies beleriand had streams safe enough for children to play in at that point. the way it separates the twins from the third kinslaying is also something i don’t particularly vibe with)

probably my least favourite angle i’ve seen on the situation (edged out only by ‘maglor was actively abusive towards the twins’ which no no no no no no no no NO) is the idea that maglor (and/or maedhros, append as necessary) took the twins specifically to raise them

like, i get where it’s coming from, but it makes maglor come off as really creepy

(i have read fics where it is indeed played off as really creepy, but that’s not a maglor i have any interest in reading about)

(’mags 100% bad’ is just as facile a take to me as ‘mags 100% good’)

even if you’re saying maglor took them in because they had no one left to take care of them - i highly doubt they were the only children the fëanorians orphaned at sirion. idk, it always makes maglor seem much less sympathetic than i think it’s meant to

i prefer to think of it as more... organic? something that evolved, not something that was preordained. them growing closer gradually, the twins finding an adult who might maybe be on their side, maglor becoming invested in them almost by accident

and then the twins are so comfortable with the second scariest monster in amon ereb they frequently sass him off and maglor’s gotten so used to not hurting them he’s not even thinking about it any more. no one’s quite sure how it happened, but they’ve made a Connection

‘wait aren’t they a murderous warlord of questionable mental stability and a pair of terrified small children who’ve lost everyone they ever knew? isn’t that kinda fucked up?’ yup! that’s the point! complexity!

another idea i don’t like is the idea that maglor was an objectively better parent to the twins than eärendil or elwing

other people have talked about this already, i won’t rehash the whole thing. i will say that while i don’t think elwing was a perfect parent - someone so young, in such a horrible situation, i wouldn’t blame her for screwing up - i do think she (and eärendil) did the best by them they possibly could

this is one of the few things they have in common with maglor

something i come across now and again is the idea that sure, elwing and eärendil weren’t abusive or horrible or anything, but they were a couple of basically-teenagers with so many other responsibilities, there was only so much they could do. maglor, on the other hand, is an experienced adult who could take much better care of the twins

and...

first off, it’s not like mags doesn’t have a job. he’s a warlord, he has a fortress to help run, military shit to handle, lots of other stuff that needs to get done to stop everyone from starving or getting eaten by orcs. i feel like sirion had enough of a government there was plenty of opportunity for elwing to take days off and play with her kids, but in the fëanorian camp nobody really has the time to chase after a couple of toddlers, least of all one of the last points on the command network. they just don’t have the people any more

(seriously, the twins getting a formal education with tutors and classes and shit is a weirdly specific pet peeve of mine. this is a band of renegades, not a royal household; if there’s anyone left with those kinds of skills they almost certainly have more important things to do)

more than that, though - well, a quick glance through my late stage fëanorians tag should tell you a lot about what i think maglor’s mental state is like at this point. he is so accustomed to violence death means nothing to him, he’s lost most of his capacity for genuinely positive emotion to an endless century of defeat and despair, he hates everything in the universe, especially himself, he’s only able to keep functioning through a truly astounding amount of denial, and he covers it all up with a layer of snark and feigned apathy, which he defends aggressively because he’s subconsciously realised that if it breaks he’ll have absolutely nothing left

(maedhros, for the record, is... i’d say more stable, but at a lower point. maglor may interact with the world mostly through cold stares and mocking laughter, but at least his mind is firmly rooted in the present)

(on the other hand, at least maedhros lets himself be aware of what they are and where their road will lead)

which... this doesn’t mean maglor doesn’t try to be kind to the twins, or rein in his worst impulses around them

there’s just so little of him left but the weapon

he stalks through the halls like a portent of death and gets into hours-long screaming matches with maedhros and has definitely killed people in front of the twins

not even as, like, a deliberate attempt to scare them, but because when you solve most of your problems by stabbing them it’s pretty much a given that people who spend a lot of time around you are going to see you do it at least once

and sometimes, he curls up in an empty hallway, and weeps

... suffice it to say i don’t think elwing’s the more preoccupied, or the less mentally ill, parent here

just. in general, the fëanorians aren’t cackling boogeymen, but they’re not particularly nice either

no one has the energy left for that. not these isolated and weary soldiers at the end of a long losing war and the beginning of the end of the world. they don’t really bother to guard the kids against them escaping. where else are they going to go?

the sheer despair that must have been in the fëanorian camp after sirion, the knowledge that the cause cannot be fulfilled, that they are utterly forsaken, that they’re really just waiting to die -

it can’t have been a happy place to grow up in, under the shadow of loss and grief and deeds unrepentable, and the slow march of inevitable defeat

they would have had a better childhood if they stayed in sirion, raised by people who knew how to hope

but that isn’t the childhood they had. and despite everything i’ve said, i don’t think that childhood was an entirely awful one

yeah, see, this is where the other side of my self-inflicted fandom catch-22 comes in. just as much of the pro-kidnap dads stuff comes off as overly saccharine and simplified to me, i find much of the anti-kidnap dads stuff equally simplistic in the opposite direction

the idea that maglor and the fëanorians never meant anything to elros and elrond, that they had no effect on the people they became at all, that it was just a horrible thing that happened when they were children, easily thrown in the rear-view mirror...

that’s even more impossible to me than the idea that life with the fëanorians was 100% fluffy and nice

like, i’ve seen the take that elros and elrond hated the fëanorians from start to finish. they were perfect little sindarin princes, loyal to their people and the memory of doriath, spurning every scrap of kindness offered to them and knowing just what to say to twist the knife into the kinslayers’ wounds

... dude. they were six. hell, given their peredhelness, mentally they could easily have been younger

what six year old has a firm grasp of their ethnic identity? what six year old is fully aware of their place in history? what six year old would understand the politics that led to their situation?

don’t get me wrong, i can see hatred in there. but something else that doesn’t get acknowledged alongside it often enough is the fear

some of the stuff i’ve read feels like it gives the kids too much power in the situation. they’re perfectly happy to talk back to and belittle the people who burned down their hometown and killed everyone they ever knew, like miniature adults who don’t feel threatened at all

and, like, six. i can see them going for insults as a defensive measure, but it is defensive. it’s covering up fear, not coming from secure disdain

(and a lot of those insults sound, again, like things an adult who’s already familiar with the fëanorians would say, not a scared child who’s lost almost everything. why would a six year old raised by sindar and gondolindrim know what the noldolantë is, let alone what it means to maglor?)

(... i’m just ranting about this one fic that’s been ruffling my feathers for five years straight now, aren’t i)

i mean, i write elrond as the world’s angriest teenager, who snipes at maglor pretty much constantly, but the thing about angry teenage elrond is that he’s angry teenage elrond

he’s spent long enough with the fëanorians he has a pretty secure position within the camp, and he knows that maglor won’t hurt him from a decade and change of maglor not, in fact, hurting him

but as a small and terrified child abducted by the monsters his mother had nightmares about? he fluctuated wildly between ‘randomly guessing at things to say that wouldn’t get him killed’ ‘screaming at maglor to go away in words rarely more complicated than that’ 'desperately trying not to do or say anything in the hopes of not being noticed’ and ‘hiding’

(and i don’t think the twins were never in any danger from the fëanorians, either. quite besides the point that before they started orbiting maglor nobody was really sure what to do with them... well, they wouldn’t be the first children of thingol’s line the minions took revenge on)

(fortunately for them, maglor did, in fact, take them under his wing. by this point even their own followers are shit scared of the last two sons of fëanor, nobody’s going to mess with their stuff and risk getting mauled. tactically, it was a pretty good decision for a couple of toddlers)

more to the point, i feel like a child that young, in a situation that horrible, wouldn’t reject any kindness they were offered, any soothing touch in a universe of terror

in a world full of big scary monsters, the best way to survive is to get the biggest scariest monster possible to protect you. that’s how elros rationalises it when they’re, like, eight, mentally, but at the time they were just latching on to the only person around them who seemed to care about them

that’s how it started, on their end. two very young very scared children lost in a neverending nightmare clinging tightly to the lone outstretched pair of hands

as for maglor...

i’ve called mags evil before, but i see that as more of a... technical term? he is evil because he did the murder, he remains evil because he won’t stop doing the murder. hot take: murder bad

but that doesn’t make him, like, a moustache-twirling saturday morning cartoon villain. he is deeply unhappy with the position he’s in and the person he’s become, and he’s always trying not to take that final step over the edge

it’s not that i can’t see a maglor who is abusive or manipulative or who sees the twins more as objects than people. it’s just that that characterisation is one i am profoundly uninterested in. i do occasionally read fic with it, but it never enters my own headcanons

horrible people can do good things!! kinslayers can do good things!! the fallen are capable of humanity!! people can do both good and evil things at the same time, because people are complicated!! maglor is not psychologically incapable of actually taking pity on these kids!!!!

it’s... again, complexity. the fëanorians straddle the line between black and white, which is a lot less sharp in the legendarium than it’s sometimes characterised as. it’s what draws me to their characters so much, why i have so many stupid headcanons about them. pretending they fall firmly on either side of the line is my real fandom pet peeve

and, like, this moment? this sincere connection between a bloodstained warlord and two children who will grow up to be great and kind in equal measure? i may not entirely like the direction the fandom’s taken it recently, but that beat, that relationship, it still gets me

so no, i don’t think elrond and elros’ years with the fëanorians were an endless cavalcade of abuse and misery. i think there was love there, despite the darkness all around them

an old, tired monster, and the two tiny children it protects

maglor never hurts the twins, not ever, not once. his claws are sharp and his fangs are keen, if he so much as swatted them he’d rip them in half. instead he folds down the razor edges of his being, interacting with them ever so carefully. he has nightmares of suddenly tearing into their skin

seriously, the power differential between them is so great, maglor so much as raising his voice would break any trust they have in this horribly dangerous creature. fics where he does corporal punishment always get the side-eye from me

the mood of their relationship is... i find it hard to put into words. melancholy, maybe, like a sunny afternoon a few days before the end of the world. three people who’ve lost so much finding what respite they can in each other as the world slowly crumbles around them

there are times when it feels like the three of them exist in a world of their own, marked out by the edges of the firelight. maglor telling stories of the stars, elros giving relaxed irreverent commentary, elrond getting a few moments to just be, all their troubles kept at bay

they are the last two lights in a world sunk into darkness, the last two living beings he does not on some level hate. he will tear his own heart out before he sees them in pain

he teaches them to ride, he teaches them to read, he gives them everything he still has left. the twins should never have been in this situation, maglor probably isn’t entirely fit to take care of them, but it is what it is, and they take what love they can

(maglor depends on the twins emotionally a bit more than any adult should rely on any child. he’s still very much the caretaker in their relationship, but that relationship is the only one he has left that’s not stained by a century of rage and grief. he’s obsessed with them, maedhros tells him frequently. maglor’s standard response to this is to try to gouge maedhros’ eyes out)

(that particular darker side to their relationship, where maglor’s attachment to the twins turns into a desperate possessiveness - that’s not something i think i’ve ever seen in fic. which is a shame, it feels much closer to my own characterisation than the standard ways this relationship gets maleficised. darker, in a different way than usual. horribly compelling in its plausibility)

however you want to read it, i don’t think you can deny this is a relationship that defines elrond and elros’ childhood. they were raised in the woods by a pack of kinslayers, the text is quite clear on this

but i’ve seen a lot of talk about how elros and elrond are only sirion’s children. they are completely 100% sindarin, they love and forgive eärendil and elwing thoroughly and without question, they identify with doriath over - even gondolin, let alone tirion. the fëanorians - the people who raised them - had zero effect on the people they grew into and the selves they created

and that, more than anything else, i find utterly unbelievable

look, i get what this is a reaction to. a lot of the kidnap dads stuff paints the fëanorians as elrond and elros’ ‘real’ family, and i’ve already talked about what i think of the idea that maglor-and-possibly-also-maedhros were better parents than eärendil and elwing. i think it’s reductive and overly optimistic and just a little too neat

but to say instead that elrond and elros held no great love in their hearts for maglor, no lingering affinity with the fëanorians, no influence on their identity from the people they grew up around, none at all? that after it happened they just left it behind and resumed being the same people they were in sirion?

that strikes me as just as much an oversimplification. it sands down all the potential rough edges of their identity, all that inconvenient complexity that stops them from fitting into any well-defined box, and replaces it with a nice safe simple self-conception i find just as flat and boring as declaring them 100% fëanorian

we can quibble over who they call ‘father’ (i personally find that whole debate kinda petty) but denying that it was actually maglor who was the closest thing they knew to a parent for most of their childhoods, and that that would, in fact, affect the way they thought of themselves and their family, elides so many interesting possibilities out of existence

(i’m not even going to get into the most braindead take i have ever heard on the subject, namely that because their time with the fëanorians was such a small fraction of elrond’s total lifespan it was like being kidnapped for two weeks as a toddler and had no greater significance than that. do you not understand what childhood is????)

like, i tend to think of elrond as a child as being very loudly not-a-fëanorian. elros is more willing to go with the flow - hey, if the creepy kinslayer wants kids, elros is happy to play into that in order to not be murdered - but elrond is very firm that he’s not happy to be here and he doesn’t belong with them

(this is after they get over their initial terror, of course, when they’ve realised they won’t be fed to the orcs for the tiniest slight. even so, elrond only really gets shirty about it around people he’s comfortable with, whose reactions he can reasonably guess at. naturally, the first person he does it to is maglor)

elros calls maglor their father exactly once, when they’re... maybe early preteens? this is because elrond hears him do it and immediately loses his shit. they have a dad, elrond says, in tears, and a mum, and any day now their real parents are going to come to pick them up and take them home

... right?

it gets harder to believe as the years roll on, as their memories of sirion fade, as they find their own places within the host, as maglor watches over them as they grow. elrond still mentally sets himself apart from the fëanorians, but it’s more of an effort every year. life in the fëanorian camp is the only one he’s ever really known. he can barely remember his mother’s voice

then the war of wrath starts, and the fëanorian host drifts closer to the army of valinor, and the twins come into contact with non-fëanorians for the first time in forever, and it becomes clear just how obviously fëanorian elrond is. he always insisted he wasn’t like the kinslayers at all, but he dresses like them, talks like them, fights like them

the myth cycles the edain tell are almost completely unfamiliar to him, he barely remembers the shape of the songs of lost doriath. even these sarcastic commentary and subversive reinterpretations he made of maglor’s stories - those were still maglor’s stories! he’s been trying to guess at the person he was meant to be, but it’s growing nightmarishly blatant how little elrond ever knew about him

instead, the people he was born to are as alien to him as the orcs of morgoth. he is a fëanorian, through and through

... yeah, elrond (and/or elros) having an absolutely massive identity crisis upon being reintroduced to his quote-unquote ‘true kin’ is another angle i’d love to see in fic that i don’t think i’ve ever come across. all those potential grey areas around who they are and who they’re supposed to be sound utterly fascinating, and i think it’s the complexity i hate to see elided over the most

i really, really doubt they could effortlessly slot back into being eärendil and elwing’s children. not when they’ve been surrounded by, lived alongside, been raised by the people who were supposed to enemies for most of their lives

they just don’t fit into that box any more. they can’t

speaking of eärendil and elwing, while i do agree that they both (especially elwing) get a lot more flak than they deserve, i don’t agree that therefore elrond and elros were never the slightest bit mad at them and fully forgave them for everything with no reservations

because, well, they were left behind. elwing had no other choice, but they were still left behind; it led to the world being saved, but they were still left behind. all the best intentions in the universe don’t erase the weeks and months and years of waiting, of a hope that grew thinner and frailer until it finally quietly broke

that’s a real hurt, and a real grievance. even if the twins rationally understand that their parents were making the best out of their terrible situation, you can’t logic away emotions like that. it’s perfectly possible for them to know they have no reason to resent eärendil or elwing, and yet still harbour that bitterness and pain

(i did write a thing once where elrond loudly rejects eärendil as his father in favour of maglor, but something i didn’t add in that i probably should have is that elrond later regretted doing that)

(not like, several centuries later, when he’d grown old and wise. two hours later, when he’d calmed down. but he was still legitimately angry at eärendil, because the one thing angry teenage elrond was not lacking in was reasons to be mad at the adults around him, and before he could figure out if he had anything less furious to say the hosts of the valar left middle-earth behind)

(it’s another element to the tragedy of the whole thing. in that particular story, which is mostly aiming for maximum pain, the only thing elrond’s birth parents know about their son for thousands of years is that he hates them)

(and he doesn’t, not really. you can’t hate someone you’ve never known)

not that i think they couldn’t ever make up with their parents! fics where elrond and his birth parents work past all the things that lie between them and form a functional familial bond despite it all give me life. i just don’t like the idea that there’s nothing difficult for them to work past

i don’t like the idea that elrond and elros would naturally, effortlessly identify with the mother they last saw when they were six and the people they only vaguely remember. i can see them doing it as a political move, i can see them going for it as a deliberate personal choice, but i can’t seeing it being immediate and automatic and easy

no matter how great a pair of heroes eärendil and elwing are, that doesn’t change the fact that to elrond and elros, they’re at most a few scattered memories and a collection of far-off stories. and so long as the twins stay in middle-earth, they’re never going to draw any closer

compared to the dynamic, multifaceted, personal, and deep bonds they have with the fëanorians - who, and i know i keep saying this but i think it gets tossed aside way more casually than it should, are the people who actually raised them, their birth parents must feel like a distant idea

and that’s why i can never buy interpretations of elrond as 100% sindarin, a pure son of doriath, with no messy grey areas or awkward jagged edges to his identity. given everything we know about his life, it seems almost cartoonishly simplistic

honestly it seems like a narrative a bunch of old doriathrin nobles trying to manouevre elrond into being high king of the sindar or something would propagate. it's neat and nice and tidy, something that’d be much more convenient for everyone if elrond did feel that way

but i just don’t see how he can. this narrative is easy and simple in a way real people never are, it ignores all the forces pulling him apart. elrond being uncomplicatedly sindarin with the life he lives and the people he's close to - that doesn’t make any sense to me

which isn’t to say i think he’s 100% noldorin, from either a gondolindrim or a fëanorian perspective. (i find it a little more believable, given, again, who he grew up around and who he hangs out with, but it’s still a bit too reductive for my tastes.) it’s also not to say i couldn’t believe an elrond who made an active choice to emphasise his sindarin heritage

it’s not how i think of him, but it works. i don’t have a problem with other people interpreting the complexities of the twins’ identities differently

i just have a problem with people acting like it doesn’t exist

in general i think there’s a lot untapped potential that gets left behind when you declare the twins, separately or together, as All One Thing

they’re descended from half the noble houses of beleriand, and they have deep personal ties to most of the rest. they belong to all of the free peoples even the dwarves, somehow, probably and i feel like that was kind of the old man’s point? so many peoples meet in them, to say they wholly belong to any one species is probably an oversimplification

they sit at a crossroads of potential identities, and rather than narrowing down their worldviews to one single path, they take the hard road and choose all of them. that’s what you need to do, if you want to change the world

and, to bring this back to my ostensible topic, in my estimation at least this mélange of possible selves does include them as fëanorians! it’s not overpowering, but it’s certainly there, and the adults they grow into long after they’ve left the host still bear influence from their childhood

nothing super obvious, nothing that wouldn’t stand out if you didn’t know what to look for, but there’s something almost incandescent in how fiercely elros reaches out for his dreams

there’s something almost defiant in elrond’s drive to be as kind as summer

as for who they publically claim as their family... honestly, it depends. while it’s usually more tactically prudent for elros to connect himself to his various human ancestors, on occasion he does find a use for his free in with the elf mafia, and elrond, code switcher par excellence, is famously the son of whoever is most politically convenient at the moment, which is rarely, but not never, maglor

(in the privacy of their own minds, well, eärendil and elwing may have been the parents elros was supposed to have, but maglor was the parent he actually had, and elros doesn’t particularly care to mope over what might have been. elrond, for his part, figures that after all the shit maglor has put him through, the least that bastard owes him is a father)

but honestly? i think before any of their mountain of identities, before thinking of themselves as sindarin or gondolindel or hadorian or haladin or fëanorian or anything, elrond and elros identify as themselves

they are peredhil, they are númenóreans, they are whoever they make themselves to be. that’s how elrond finally resolved his identity, figured out who he was and found something past the pain and the rage

he wasn’t doriathrin, or gondolindrin, or falathrin, or fëanorian, or whatever else. he was elrond, no more and no less

and that person, elrond, could be whatever he chose to be

... elros came to a similar conclusion, with much less sturm und drang that he’s willing to admit. being able to go ‘hey, i can’t possibly be biased towards any one of your cultures, because i’m descended from all of you and i was raised by murderelves’ makes it a lot easier to unite people around your personal banner, turns out

the stories other people tried to force on them shattered into pieces, and the peredhel twins were free to shape themselves into anything they could dream of

and as the new world struggles alive, these lost children of an Age of death begin to bloom into their full glorious selves -

i just. i love the poetry of that. despite every single shadow that hangs over their past, despite all the clashing notes pulling them apart, they harmonise it all into a greater, kinder theme, determined to make their world a better place in whatever way they can

they fail, of course, but so do all things. the inevitable march of entropy doesn’t diminish the long millennia they (and their descendants) held onto the light

and their growing up in the fëanorian host definitely had a huge effect on the noble lords they became. you can see it in elros’ loud ambition to create a land of happiness and hope, elrond’s quiet resolve to heal all the hurts inflicted by this marred reality

it wasn’t a perfect time by any means, but neither was it a nightmare. it was what it was, a desperate existence at the edge of a knife where, nevertheless, they were loved

even after years upon decades upon centuries have passed, it’s hard for the wise king and the honourable sage to separate out and identify all the conflicting emotions swirling around their childhood. they never knew eärendil or elwing, true, but they also never really knew maglor

not as equals, not as adults, not as people who could truly understand him. he disappeared into the fog of history, leaving only childhood memories of razor-sharp, gentle hands

it’s messy and it’s complicated and getting any real closure would be like shoving their way through a thornbush with bare hands even if elrond could find the shithead, and yet at the core of it all, there is light. not the brightest of lights, maybe, but an enduring one

that contrast, above all, that note of warmth amidst the shadows, is what fascinates me so much about their relationship. three screwed up people in a screwed up world, finding a little peace with each other

and the fact that somehow, it does have a good ending - the children grow up magnificent and compassionate and just, they become exemplars of all their peoples, lodestars of the new world born out of the ashes of the old - that makes it seem to me like this relationship must have contained some fragment of happiness

but, fuck, all the darkness that surrounds that love, all the tangled-up emotions its existence necessitates, all the prefabricated self-identities it can never slot into - nothing about it is simple, nothing about it is easy, and i find that utterly enthralling. especially how, despite everything, that flickering light never goes out

well, i don’t think it does, anyway. my take on this relationship is both complicated enough no one else ever quite gets it right and well-defined enough every single ‘error’ in other people’s interpretations sticks out like a kinslayer in rivendell

it is an entirely self-inflicted problem, i will admit. other people are allowed to interpret those complexities differently from me, and it’s entirely my own fault i lack the :waves hands around nebulously: to write my own hypothetical fic on the subject at a pace faster than glacial

still, though. i do wish there was more fic out there that engaged with these complexities. a lot of the common fandom interpretations of this relationship just sweep it all away

#ask #my terrible headcanons #elros #elrond #maglor #elwing #earendil #feanorians #niphredilien #yellow feathered faerie #putting your old url in the tags for archival purposes #post nyanyannya askbox clearout #ironically it turned out almost as long as the songfic that clogged up my askbox in the first place #and it is DONE #fuck this took forever to write #stayed up late just to get it out the door so i don't have to think about it any more #this is a long ramble and i'm pretty sure the end is just me repeating myself ad nausem sorry #i'll admit to a certain pro-feanorian bias in my interpretation #but i also don't want elros and elrond to just. live in a neverending horrorshow for decades #the silm's cruel enough we don't need that #narratively i feel like elrond being All Of The Elves is a good mirror for elros being All Of The Humans #but it didn't really fit the angle i was going for #bleck #let's see how many followers i lose for this

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possiamo-andare · 5 years ago

Text

Midsummer: JJ Maybank

JJ x Reader

word count: around 6k

MASTERLIST

a/n: took a long time writing this and I've never done anything like this (where its y/n) so any feedback would be greatly appreciated <3

You had never technically been to the Midsummer festival. Of course, since you were a Kook, your parents were invited and tried to make you go but every year came a new excuse. First, you had the "stomach flu." Then, there was that time you said you had "strep throat." Another time, you had a "fever." You had so many excuses for not going to Midsummer every year, you had become a pro at lying.

Only this time, you had an actual reason not to go and, out of all the times, your parents didn't believe you.

You had told them the truth. You and Rafe had just gotten into a huge argument and had technically broken up. It wasn't official or anything but you both knew it was the end. You wanted to stay home and binge watch 'New Girl' from the beginning and maybe order some food. You just wanted to indulge yourself for a moment. You had lost 170 pounds (aka Rafe) and you kinda wanted to celebrate.

Rafe loved keeping up appearances and you were just another way to do that. You were the "perfect" girl next door. You surfed, played soccer during the school year, and it helped that your parents were loaded. You and Rafe looked like a great couple on the outside, but the reality was you were both broken in one way or another. You were struggling with your mundane life, finding every day one endless loop. You were desperate to break free but didn't know how. Rafe was struggling with addiction and wouldn't admit to you that he had a problem.

Finally, you were at your breaking point. This morning, while you still had the courage, you started to talk to Rafe about getting help. You had kept this secret for him for too long and keeping it any longer wouldn't help anyone. Rafe, as you expected, flew off the handle and said the most horrible stuff. He called you a bitch, a slut, and basically every thing that could hurt a person. And you took it because that's what you always did. Then he said something that you couldn't forgive.

You're gonna die alone.

All of those words before never hurt as much as this one. You think it hurts the most because there's a possibility that it's true. You have never had an honest conversation with anyone in your life, including Rafe. You let people in, but not all the way. You were scared to get hurt, but even more scared to die alone. Rafe knew that.

So, you told him you're done and then left. No, you're here, talking to your parents and telling them you couldn't go because you had broken up with Rafe.

"I just don't understand what happened. Rafe is such a nice young man." Your mother said, going through her jewelry box to find the right earrings to match the dress that was laying across her bed.

The Midsummer party was not to start until the sun set in about three hours but your mom loved getting ready early and this party was no exception.

"I just don't want to go. Rafe is escorting me and I don't wanna put on a smile and pretend like everything's okay when it's not."

You didn't understand your mother sometimes. She was fine with letting you stay home from the party for years now as long as there was a physical reason like a cold. Now that you're telling her it's a mental reason, she could care less. You watched her by the frame of her bedroom door. She continued to look in her jewelry box and not for one second check on you.

"It's just for tonight sweetie." She smiled, but not at you.

At first you thought it was directed at you even though she wasn't looking at you. Then you realized she had found the matching earrings and that's why she was smiling. She held them up to her ears and looked in the mirror for a second.

You wondered if she remembered she had a daughter. It felt like she didn't remember sometimes.

You couldn't change her mind. You knew this now. She was picking out her jewelry and accessories now and the room for anything other than the talk of jewelry and makeup was not interesting to her. You decided to cave, not wanting to plead your case again.

So, you returned to your room and called the only person that ever listened to you. Your best friend, Sarah Cameron. She had recently met a Pogue named John B. and also didn't want to go to the Midsummer party where Topper, her soon-to-be ex boyfriend, was escorting her. She had planned to break up with Topper to be with John B. but hadn't gotten the chance yet. Although she wanted to end things with Topper, she didn't want to cause any drama and breaking up with him at the Midsummer party was definitely not a good way to avoid drama.

Sarah understood. She always did.

"Hey girlie." Sarah chimed as she answered the phone.

You instantly smiled, sitting down on your bed. "Hey."

You could basically hear the frown in Sarah's voice as she spoke. "What's wrong? Did Rafe text you?"

You hummed a no. Just hearing Sarah's voice made you feel better. "I tried to tell my mom I don't feel like going but she refuses to listen."

Sarah sighed. "I'm sorry Y/N. I'll look after you tonight. Make sure Rafe doesn't talk to you. He'll escort you to the party and then that's all you'll see from him. I promise."

You chuckled. "And who is gonna make sure Topper stays away from you as you go meet up with your new boyfriend?"

"Ah, my friend," Sarah chides. "That's where you come in. We'll help each other out tonight."

You laugh, the plan sounding ridiculous but it made enough sense to actually work. "Okay, I'll see you then."

"See you there sister." sang Sarah, hanging up the phone soon after.

After you put your phone down to charge, you decided to take a shower and start getting ready for the Midsummer party. You showered quickly, scrubbing your hair so that it wouldn't smell, as your mother says, "like the sea."

After you got out, you washed you face with a cleanser and towel dried your hair. You then brushed your teeth for the second time today and popped in a mint. You put your hair up in a bun while it was still wet so it could dry on it's own. That's when you picked out your dress. Your mom had bought it for you a week ago and it had been collecting dust in your closet ever since. You laid it out on your bed and finally got a proper look at it.

It was a yellow, spaghetti strap dress that fell to your ankles. It was made out of silk and shined even with your bedroom light. When you had tried it on, your remembered how tight it was on the bodice and how it dainty it looked on you. You did like it and it made you feel like a princess, you just wished you didn't have to wear it for the Midsummer party.

You started your makeup first. You applied a tinted moisturizer to give yourself a natural glow and then applied some concealer to lighten your under eyes. Once ever was evenly applied, you filled in your brows and brushed them back and applied some mascara. You added blush and some highlighter to give you a brighter glow. You finally finished off the look with a nude lip.

You let your hair down and it was stil damp. In an attempt to get your hair to dry faster, you got a blow dryer and dried the rest of your hair. Once it was all dry, you brushed it through once and let it stay down. It had turned out nice, the natural curls in your hair giving you the volume you needed. Why change something that already looked so good.

With your makeup and hair done, you finally got changed into your dress. Once it was own, you gave yourself a proper look in the mirror.

You did look beautiful. You had to admit, when you put effort in, you cleaned up well. Although you liked how you turned out, your heart still hurt. Not because of Rafe, but because you can't imagine doing this every year for the rest of your life. Your parents were always okay with doing the same things everyday. You weren't. You wanted to go out on adventures and experience all life had to offer. You wanted to travel by yourself. You wanted to have something different to do everyday. This mundane life you saw your parents do was not for you but you were scared if you lived any more days like this, it was going to be your future. That's what scared you the most. Not being able to get out of the bubble your parents and your life as a Kook put you in. It's one of the reasons you envied the Pogues. Sure they might not have as much money but they had adventures and didn't lead a mundane life. Everyday was different. You sometimes wished you were a Pogue.

You slipped on your heels and looked into the mirror one last time. You looked good but still couldn't smile fully. You didn't hate how you looked, you hated the person looking back.

You didn't know if that ever would change.

Sarah always looked beautiful and you hated it. Even on days when she woke up, hung over with bed head, she just had to smile and she'd look beautiful.

When you entered Sarah's house, she was waiting for you in her bedroom. Her dad, Ward, told you where she was and you basically rushed upstairs. You hadn't seen her in two days since before she went on an adventure with John B. and you needed to know all the juicy details.

Now, as you looked at her in that perfect white dress, you didn't feel self conscious, but you certainly felt like you had to change.

"Holy hell." Sarah said as she stood up from her bed. "You look so sexy."

You rushed to her and hugged her for a moment before saying anything. "I look sexy? Look at you. You look like an angel."

Sarah laughed, grabbing your hand and squeezing it. "How are you doing?"

You shrugged. There wasn't much to say. You weren't really torn up over the situation. "I'm fine. We both knew it was coming."

Sarah laughed. "You should've seen my brother. He was totally freaking out when he called Topper."

You frowned. "Sorry. I know he's your brother."

Sarah waved her hands in the hair. "Are you kidding me? Someone needed to knock Rafe down a few pegs. I'm glad you guys are done. He doesn't deserve you."

You hugged Sarah again. She really was the most important person in your life right now. You didn't know how you got so lucky.

"Speaking of which, are Topper and Rafe here?"

Sarah sighed and nodded. "Waiting for us downstairs to escort us to the Midsummer party."

You rolled my eyes, grabbing onto Sarah's hand again. "Ugh. We can't just keep them waiting."

Sarah smirked, playing along with your sarcasm. "God forbid."

As you guys made your way downstairs, you talked. You knew you couldn't ask her all the details right now but you made sure to let her know that once you were alone, you'd pressure her to tell you all the information. You had seen John B. and his friends around OBX but had rarely talked. The only time you ever encountered each other was when you and Sarah slept on the boat overnight and John B. had come in the early morning to drop off the scuba gear. They seemed to not get along at all so you still wonder what changed.

"Just one question?" You pleaded as you and Sarah made your way to the sliding glass doors, leading you to the backyard where the party was taking place. The sun was setting now and the party would be starting any minute.

"Fine, shoot." Sarah nodded, whispering to you now since Topper and Rafe could see you and Sarah now.

"Is he a good kisser or not?" You leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"What are you beautiful ladies whispering about?" Topper asks as he approaches you and Sarah. You instantly pull away, acting very suspicious.

"How to please a woman. Not that you would know." You smirk at Topper, being very mean. For good reason though. He had made Sarah feel very bad about not sleeping with him and you were glad she had moved on. Now, hopefully Topper would too.

Topper rolled his eyes. "Hello Y/N. How are you?" You know he's only being so nice to try and impress Sarah and show her he's changed. Of course Sarah doesn't buy it.

"I'm spectacular." You gave Topper a wide smile. Maybe if you stared at him long enough, his head would explode.

"Good." Topper grumbled, looking at Sarah. "You look amazing."

Sarah frowned. "Yeah, thanks." She seemed so unenthusiastic it was almost funny.

Topper extended out his hand, ready for Sarah to take it. Sarah looked at you and tried to smile but you could see her discontent. Sarah unwilllingly reached for it and smiled again at Topper.

Here's the thing; if you have to smile so much at everyone all the time, you're probably not happy.

Just as Sarah and Topper move away, Sarah stops, tells Topper to wait one moment and turns around to you. She smiles, for real this time, and says, "To answer your question; yeah, really well."

You giggle, trying to make sure Topper does not ask too many questions. That smile that you had, though, is now replaced with a frown.

You can see him lurking near the door, finding the courage to come up to me.

God, I wished he would just leave me alone, you thought.

You decide against confronting him and instead walk to Sarah's kitchen to grab some water. The doors to Sarah's backyard can be seen if you stood in Sarah's kitchen so you can see Sarah walk out with Topper, smiling and waving. People who don't know Sarah well won't know the difference but you do. Her shoulders are slightly droopy and her smile is not as wide as it usually is.

You watch her quickly depart from Topper soon after he's escorted her around and you can see Topper stay behind, a little shocked she's gone. You don't know why he is, but that's the thing with guys like him. They never think they're the problem.

Speaking of problems, Rafe has followed you into the kitchen and is just standing there. You pretend not to see him. Maybe if you ignore him, you thought, he'll take the hint and walk away.

Of course, he doesn't and as you try to walk past him, he stops you from leaving the kitchen. He's standing in front of you. So, you move to the right and he follows, blocking you again.

"Can we talk?" He asks, reaching out for your hand.

You move my hand out of the way. "Don't touch me."

"Y/N..." He's looking at you with those puppy dog eyes and granted it would've worked at one point but not anymore.

"No." You say sternly. "This is what's gonna hapen: you're gonna escort me out and after that we'll never talk again."

Rafe frowns even harder. "I don't want that. I said things I shouldn't have but -"

"No." You cut him off. "There's no more excuses. We're done."

Rafe's brows crease together. You can tell he's pissed now. "No. You're not giving up on us."

You scoffed, his confidence misplaced. "Trust me, you gave up a long time ago." You then grab onto his elbow, surprising him a little. You could tell he was confused and so you rolled your eyes and then spoke again, "you're escorting me."

Rafe's eyes widened and quickly nodded, guiding you to the glass doors. As you walked, you felt a weight lifted. It had been a long time for you to admit this but you wer glad you guys were over. Your relationship was not aware near perfect and very toxic. The weight lifting, you realized, was definitely Rafe's link to your life.

As the doors opened, you put on a smile and stared waving. You looked around and smiled at your family and friends but you were looking for Sarah. You saw your mother, who was clapping and had a proud smile on her lips. She gave you a thumbs up but you looked away. Could she seriously be any more annoying?

Finally, you spotted Sarah near table. She was looking at you and clapping. You could tell from her facial features that she was being sarcastic. You stuck your tongue out quickly as you walked and waved and she quickly flipped you off.

Once you were done, Rafe let go of you. You turned to him and gave him a half smile.

He did not smile back. "I'm sorry."

Your smile dropped. "Are you?"

And with that, you walked away. Once you got to Sarah's table, she was already standing you give you a hug. You hugged her tightly, sighing as you did. It was finally over. You never had to speak to him again.

"How are you feeling?" Sarah asks, the boh of you sitting down at the table beside each other.

You shrugged. "Surprisingly, I'm good."

Sarah smiled. "It's cause you know it's for the best."

You nodded. You hoped so. "You want a drink?"

Sarah nodded. "Thanks so much."

You got up and went to find a waiter. There were so many around you but each one was speaking to someone and you didn't want to bother them. It took a little of a walk but you finally saw a blond boy in a waiter's suit, standing there. He seemed to be doing nothing so you approached him.

"Excuse me." You said politely, causing the blond boy to turn around. You knew who it was.

JJ Maybank. A Pogue. Specifically, one of John B.'s friends. More specifically, the guy who pulled a gun out on Topper. You were there and saw it all. He had never liked him. Although you hated Topper as much as the next sane person, he didn't deserve that.

JJ looked at you, up and down. He then smirked and crossed his arms over his shoulders. "Yes princess?"

You scoffed. "Not happening. I need a ginger ale and Sprite."

JJ scoffed back, imitating you. "A 'please sir' would help. Or do you Kooks not know how to say please?"

You glared at him. "I know how to say please to people who deserve it."

"And I don't?" JJ asked, bemused.

"No." You said coldly.

"You don't even know me."

"I know the type." You retorted.

JJ grabbed ahold of his chest, faking being wounded. "Wow, that stings Y/N."

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the fact he knew your name. "You don't need me to explain it to you?"

JJ nodded, a smirk adorning his lips. "I really do, miss."

So you did. "I've heard stories about you JJ. You pulled a gun out on Topper, use girls left and right, and get into trouble with the law for fun. Trust me, I don't wanna get to know you."

JJ frowned, maybe for real this time. "Ever heard of don't judge a book by the Kook's stories?"

You tried to suppress a laugh. "Just get me those drinks."

JJ nodded at you and then you turned away and made your way back to Sarah. To be honest, he wasn't anything like Rafe had said. Yes, you had been there the night he pulled the gun but he was completely different now. He had a personality. He was more than a meathead Pogue like Rafe had said. Maybe you should stop listening to what Rafe and try to decide for yourself who JJ was.

When you returned to you table beside Sarah, the drinks where already there. You were confused. How did he get there before you?

"Took you long enough." Sarah joked as she sipped on her drink.

"Sorry." You sat down, confused. You looked at your drink, then at Sarah. "Who brought them here?"

She shrugged. "Some girl. She said that you had told her to hurry up. What did you say?"

You looked around for JJ. Finally, when your eyes found him, he was already looking at you. He smiled and gave you a small wave before walking away.

You smiled. You wanted to tell Sarah what happened and why JJ had made such an impression on you but you didn't get a chance.

Suddenly music came from the dance floor that had been decorated for this party. You looked to the dance floor were people had stared dancing and then you looked back to Sarah.

"Can for a dance?" You extended you hand out to her.

Sarah smirked. "Of course."

And so, as the sky turned to dark, you two danced.

You had been consecutively dancing for about an hour and your feet ached. You were wearing heels and although you were skilled in the art of wearing heels, you were completely overwhelmed by the aching. You had to stop.

You looked to Sarah, who was holding onto both of your hands as she swayed to the music. You smirked at her. She was a terrible dancer but her confidence made her seem like the best dancer ever.

Once you stopped moving in the middle of the song, Sarah noticed almost instantly and stopped along with you. She looked at you face and instantly knew.

She frowned. "Just until the end of this song."

You sighed, easily swayed when the music was so good. You nodded, swaying to the music again. Sarah picked up where she left off and you both smiled again. The song seemed to be in the middle so you only had to wait a few minutes. You trudged along, the soles of your feet aching so badly you chewed on the inside of your cheek to distract yourself.

"Hey, if you need to stop me can -" Sarah was about to stop but she was cut off by a tap on her shoulder.

A blond boy you now knew as JJ, danced beside Sarah. "Val?"

You frowned. Maybe he thought she was someone else and you thought that was true when you saw Sarah's face, who was confused for a moment.

"JJ?" She questioned and your eyes widened.

"What do you want?" You ask defensively. You wanted to keep up the impression you were still cautious around him.

JJ looks to you and perks up a little. You do the opposite. The other side of his face is badly bruised. You hadn't seen it before because of the darkness before, but now it was all you could see. It looks like he got punched over and over again. You suspected he probably got into another stupid fight. You almost felt sorry for him. The only way to boost his ego was for him to punch someone.

"Well, hello m'lady." He said, bowing.

You took a step back, bemused. As he bowed, he extended his hand for you to take. To indulge him, you grabbed it and he then stood up straight and pulled you close. One had rested, surprisingly, respectfully on your back and the other intertwined with your hand. You looked to Sarah, who was laughing. Your hand rested on his shoulder as you tried to contain your laughter.

"Madam, who you be so kind to get a note for Sarah out of my pocket for me?" JJ asked, swaying with you to the music.

You pulled away only enough to look at him the eyes. "Can't you do that yourself?"

He smirked. "Yes but I'd have to take my hand off your back and I don't wanna do that."

You rolled your eyes, swaying with him. Although he was a tad annoying, it was a comforting type of annoying. Your past presumptions of him yelled to you in your head about the gun and the fights but you quieted them. For this moment, he was being nice and you would look the other way. Maybe you had been wrong.

You nodded to him and reached to the back pocket on his pants and pulled out a note, handing it to Sarah.

Your hand soon returned to his shoulder as he smiled. "Thanks."

"Were you flexing your ass?" You laughed, shaking your head. You were embarrassed. Never had you done that but you couldn't help but laugh. JJ was one weird guy.

"Trying to impress you." He smirked, making you laugh. He then looked to Sarah and nodded at her. She was blushing so hard, and you were about to ask her what happened but she was already running off.

You looked to JJ. "What's going on?"

JJ leaned towards your ear as you swayed. You felt his lips touch your ear and you shivered. "She's meeting JB."

You smiled at JJ as he looked back at you. "I see. Star crossed lovers."

JJ shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't see the appeal of macking with a Kook but now," JJ says, looking you up and down. "I see the appeal."

You gasped and laughed, embarrassed again. "I'll slap you, I swear."

JJ smirked. "Please do."

You rolled you eyes. The next song had already started but you continued to dance. Your feet hurt no longer. "And why shouldn't I just smack you right now?"

JJ smirked. "Because I'm about to dip you and if you slapped me, I would drop you."

You shrugged. "Good enough."

And with that, he dipped you. You leaned your head back as he did and you felt the pressure of his hands on your back. You felt so secure. You knew he'd never drop you.

Once you came back up and looked at him again, you spoke. "I'm sorry for earlier."

JJ smiled. "Are you kidding? Probably the sexiest thing that's ever happened to me."

You rolled your eyes. "Really?"

JJ shrugged, continuing to sway. You had never felt like this. It felt as if you and JJ were the only two people on his dance floor. Not even with Rafe. This feeling was new and you didn't think you'd feel it with JJ. Someone who, before today, you never would've wanted to spend time with.

"So," he started as you continued to dance. "Have I impressed you?"

Before you could answer, you were pulled apart by two hands you recognized immediately. It was Rafe. Topper was right behind him, ready to fight. But this fight wasn't fair. It was two against one. How would JJ ever stand a chance?

"Rafe -" You started but Rafe silenced you by speaking over you to JJ.

"What're you doing dancing with my girlfriend?"

"Actually ex girlfriend." You corrected, standing between Rafe and JJ. "You have no right -"

"No right?" Rafe scoffed, his glance shifting to me now. "Until three hours ago I was your boyfriend and now you're grinding against this Pogue?"

You glare at Rafe. "Get away from me."

"Oh, I will." Rafe gritted through his teeth. As he spoke, his arm went around you and he tried to grab onto JJ's collar. JJ was quicker though and dodged his grasp.

"Run!" You yelled, turning around and pushing JJ our of the way.

JJ was fast. You were in heels so you weren't exactly the fastest person at this party but even as you ran, JJ was miles ahead of you. He looked back for a second, to see where you were and stopped to wait. You were surprised.

"C'mon." He said, grabbing onto your hand as you both ran into a closet and hid.

You heard Rafe and his goons tun down the same hallway you had just run down and they missed you completely. They were such idiots that they didn't even check the closet.

As you both caught your breath in the closet, you couldn't help but smile like an idiot. You had never felt so alive and you still couldn't believe you felt like this with JJ. He was the last person you ever thought could make you feel like this.

Soon, your dumb smile made JJ smile like an idiot and soon you both were smiling at each other. No longer did you guys have to catch your breath but you both still were breathing heavily. You were chest to chest and you were sure JJ could feel your heartbeat pick up.

He looked to your lips. "Why're you smiling?"

You shrugged. "Never done this."

JJ raised his brows. "What? You never ran from your ex with a boy you just met and ended up in a closet?"

You covered your mouth as you laughed. "You have?"

JJ shrugged, obviously joking. "Yeah, like five times."

You nodded, suppressing your smile. You were afraid if you smiled too much, your happiness would be taken away too quickly. You didn't want this to end. "With your rap sheet, I believe you."

JJ gasped, grabbing his chest again and falling an injury. "Another shot. I'm starting to think you're jealous."

You scoffed. "Jealous? No."

JJ raised his brows. "No?" His hand reached up from his sides and came to the hair in front of your face. He brushed it to the side and tucked it behind your ear. "Never thought about kissing me?"

Your smile was gone and replaced with butterflies. "Nope."

"I'm hurt." JJ confessed, fake frowning.

You smirked. "Why?"

"Because," JJ whispered, leaning forward. "I've thought about kissing you ever since you spoke to me for the first time."

Your breath hitched in your throat. His face was so close, his lips even closer. All you would have to do was lean forward and your lips would definitely meet. So, with a deep breath, you leaned forward to meet JJ's lips.

The second you kissed, you felt heat move through your entire body. JJ's hands came up to cup your face as your hands rested on his chest.

Your lips were on fire. For about the millionth time since you met him, he had proved you wrong. You were so glad he did. This kiss was like your favourite song. It was a beautiful sunset on a summer night. It was everything. You never kissed anyone like this. Whether it was adrenaline or the fact that he was someone you barely knew, this kiss was passionate. Your heart felt like his hands were around it. You didn't know how to act when this kiss would come to an end.

You angled you head so that your kiss would deepen. He tasted like mints and liquor and it tasted divine. You seriously couldn't get enough.

But sadly, you had to part. You needed to take a deep breath and you couldn't when his lips were on yours. You were the first to pull away and take a breath.

Once you did, JJ was the first to speak. "Um, wow."

You nodded, wiping your mouth. Your lipstick was definitely smudged. JJ saw your struggle and moved your hand to help. Except he didn't. Once he touched your lips again, your stomach dropped and you leaned to kiss him again. He instantly closed the space and kissed you again.

God, he was addictive. You definitely got it now. Sarah was right. The way Pogue boys kissed was so different from any Kook boy. Kook boys were careful and soft but JJ was the exact opposite. He was passionate but slow and everytime your tongues touched, you felt your stomach flip.

Finally, you both pulled away again. This time he actually helped you rub away your lipstick without kissing you.

"Wow." You said this time.

JJ nodded, catching his breath. He held onto his chest dramatically once more, making you giggle. "Who the fuck are you Y/N?"

You shrugged. Then, you remembered something. "You wanted to kiss me even when I was ripping your head off?"

JJ chuckled, shaking his head. "The first time I met you was when you smiled at me at the station."

You tried to remember that. Finally, you did. You were interviewing Sheriff Peterkin for the school newspaper and that's when JJ walked into her office. He plopped himself down as you said your goodbyes to Peterkin and you hadn't spoken to him at all. He had sarcastically waved goodbye to you and you genuinely smiled. You remember feel bad for him. You barely remembered his name but you saw him around school, always pissing someone off. You wondered why he wanted to kiss you then.

So, you asked. "Why'd you want to kiss me then?"

JJ rubbed his good eye and smiled at you. There was no arrogance under this smile, it was just pure happiness. "You smiled at me like I wasn't a delinquent like everyone else. You just saw me, a regular person."

You were so surprised. You hadn't thought anything of it and never thought of that day again. Until right now. How could JJ remember that?

"I'm surprised you remembered that." You confessed, grabbing ahold of JJ's hand.

JJ smirked. "If you ever tell anyone that, I'll embarrass you."

You giggled. "How?"

"I'll tell everyone you kissed me." JJ joked, squeezing my hand.

"That's not embarrassing." You gave JJ a fake frown, suppressing a smile. "Tell them I once peed my pants in ninth grade."

JJ cackled as you said this. Scared we'd be found, you covered his mouth. "Don't."

It was too late. Someone had heard you and JJ.

Only seconds later, someone opened the closet door. You squeezed JJ's hand to brace yourselves for Rafe but instead it was another waiter. He looked disappointed but not surprised.

"You gotta get out of there." He deadpanned, making way for you to leave.

JJ exited first, you following him shortly after. After you exited, he let go of your hand and looked to you. You were standing in a hallway now and you were too busy looking out to see if Rafe and his goons were around, you didn't realize he was trying to get your attention.

"Y/N." He said, finally getting your attention. Once you looked to him, he spoke. "You wanna pretend like this never happened?"

Your heart sank. Maybe you were wrong in giving him the benefit of the doubt. You sure decided to be honest. You never wanted to go back to never knowing JJ Maybank.

You shook your head. "Do you?"

JJ smiled. "No."

You both just stood there and smiled at each other for a moment. You were just content in being together. You wondered that maybe this is how relationships were supposed to be; easy. It seemed so easy with JJ.

After a long period of silence, JJ leaned forward and kissed you once more. As you pulled away, he spoke."I should go. Don't wanna get my ass handed to me by those goons."

You laughed, shaking your head at him. "I'll see you around then?"

JJ shrugged. "Let's just say, I forgot my keys in Sarah's closet and I'll come by tomorrow at three to get them. If you're there, then I'll see you then."

You shook your head, smiling so wide. "I'll see if I can make it."

JJ nodded and then let you go, making his way farther and farther away from you. At first, you watched you as he walked but when he got to the door, leading him in the opposite direction of the party, he turned around and opened the front door of Sarah's home. Then, JJ was gone. He was gone before you could even say goodbye.

But you knew its wasn't goodbye. This was just the beginning.

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cherripeach · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter 14

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it. Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Chapter 1:11-12 good credit, bad credit, you dead: ghost credit

Running to the store on campus, so cute.

Warnings: Curse words, implied violence

Words: 3.1k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

Ace groaned while face planting on the counter, “We finally finished peeling them all!”

Deuce moaned in pain, “My arms hurt…” He, then, stretched his arms and popped some of his knuckles while rolling his neck.

You agreed with the two boys, “Yeah, I don’t wanna move for the next decade.” You made your seat on one of the stools next to the counter to take a break after standing for what felt like hours.

Trey chuckled at your reactions, “Great work. I’m sure that your hard work will all be worth it.” While you three were sulking, Trey began cleaning up as much as possible by putting things away and putting things in the dishwasher.

Grim grumbled, “I’m getting hungry just by the smell, yanno.” The cat had tried to take as much of the ingredients as possible while you were preparing, but barely managed to get any.

Trey took a sheet of paper out from a binder and sorted some of the ingredients next to some cooking utensils, “The marron base uses butter and sugar. And then, I also added some oyster sauce as a secret ingredient.”

Ace and Deuce jumped up from their positions of dread in shock, “Oyster sauce?!”

Trey placed the sheet down and grabbed a bottle of the sauce, “Exactly. The savory flavor of the chestnuts gives the cream a rich flavor. And then, to make it better, I use this,” He motioned to the sauce in his hand, “‘Walrus-brand young oyster sauce’. There’s no famous pâtissière who doesn’t use this for their tarts, you know?” He ended it all with a closed eyed smile.

Deuce mumbled, “Really…? It’s a pretty salty sauce, isn’t it?”

“You know how they put chocolate in curry, too?” Ace gave an example, “It kinda makes sense…”

You were, on the other hand, not having it, “Naw, dude. It doesn't; sweet can't just nullify salt or reverse. It’s practically impossible.” You shook your head while the two idiots were just pouting in their confusion.

Trey chuckled while clutching his stomach, “You're right! I was just joking! There’s no way I’d put oyster sauce in a dessert, you know? How’d you know?”

The two idiots never would have guessed that.

Ace’s hand’s shot up in his defense, pointing at his senior, “What the heck!? Are you making fun of us!?”

“It’s obviously impossible if you think about it a little.” Trey’s lighthearted giggle switched to a more wise old lecture, “The moral lesson here is that you shouldn’t believe anything you’re told. Learn to doubt a bit, okay?”

You nodded your head, “See, Ace. I don’t gotta learn that because I knew right away.”

You were a genius. In all eyes besides Ace’s, that is.

Ace snorted, “I bet it was a lucky guess.”

You fought back, “Pshhhh. No way.” You knew this was just the start of one of your many squabbles.

Grim whispered to you behind his hand, “This guy looks nice, but he’s the type who can tell lies with no problem, huh…”

“I guess so.” Your eyes widened at Grim’s statement.

Trey rallied you all together to begin the next step, “Next is the fresh cream!”

A shrill scream ran through the air.

Ace bounced up and questioned Trey, “What’s wrong?”

You joined Ace with your question, “Are you okay?”

“I got carried away with the chestnuts you picked that I went overboard with making the marron base.” Trey laughed at himself and rubbed the back of his head, “We’re a little short on fresh cream.”

Deuce offered, “I’ll go buy some. Do they sell it in the school store?”

Trey explained, “That shop sells pretty much anything, so I’m sure it should be there. Can I ask you to buy some other stuff while you’re at it? Two packs of milk, two cartons of eggs, silicon cups, and five canned fruits…” He writes down the list of items and hands them to Deuce.

Deuce reads the list before commenting, “I don’t think I can carry all of that alone…”

This was your chance, “I’ll come! I need to see if they have uniforms there, anyway.” Maybe you could find some uniforms or even some other clothes for a nice price as if you had any money.

Grim interjected, “I’m going, too! I don’t wanna mix more dough!” He raised his little paw as far as his body would allow it.

“Understandable.” You did not need to lose your arms over baking.

The three of you began your walk to the grocery store on campus with only some light chatter about how excited you all were to taste the finished product and how Grim shouldn’t steal it all.

The grocery store was the size of a drug store, but apparently from what Trey said it had everything anyone at this school needed. It’s gotta be a magic store.

“We sure this is it?” You questioned Deuce because he was sure to know more than you, right?

Deuce pointed out, “I haven’t heard of any other shops here.”

Grim quickly agreed, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s get a move on!”

While still warry, you approached the place behind the two overexcited shoppers, both who had stars in their eyes as someone from a novel would say.

Deuce gazed around the place with wide eyes after opening the door where a little bell rang, “Pardon us! Whoa, what an amazing shop… Crystal skulls, magical texts, and… wh-what sort of animal is this…?” Deuce motioned to an animal’s skeleton that was just laying out on one of the shelves. Grim and Deuce took two steps closer to inspect the animal while you took two steps back.

Grim, who began to travel by himself around the store, questioned Deuce and you, “Can we really find some fresh cream here?”

“I’d be surprised if we couldn't find it.” You opened a box that was filled with dusty books while nodding to Grim.

Out of nowhere came a voice near the counter, “Hey! Little lost lambs, what can I help you with? Welcome to Mr. S’s Mystery Shop.” The man had one of the oddest outfits with a bright pink shirt but then a black and dark purple jacket. His fashion sense was certainly new, but his vibe was what shocked you the most. Almost like he knew too much. What is it that you wish for today? A charm against cheating?” He pulled out a slip of paper from his chest pocket, “ An ancient king’s mirror?” a small mirror from his sleeve, “Or maybe, some cursed tarot cards?” He even pulled a box out of thin air.

Grim was frozen in shock for a moment and joined the conversation with a breath, “Ah, you startled me!”

You added on, “He reminds me of those characters from video games and movies that are just normal store owners or vendors that have some of the oddest items.” Looking at his shop, you believed yourself for a moment.

The three of you made your way to the little counter at the back of the store.

Deuce took out the list from his pocket and handed it to the man, “Um… We would like to buy the things written on this note.”

Grim used his arms to pull his face onto the counter as to be seen and begged, “And I also want some canned tuna!”

“With what money?” You waved at him in disbelief, “And I have a question for you, Mystery man.”

Deuce pushed Grim off of the counter, “No! We will not buy any canned tuna!” which only caused Grim to growl at Deuce.

The male scanned the note while tapping his finger in his chin, “Mhmm. What do we have here? Fresh cream and eggs… Oh, my! What a pretty sweet line-up” He gave Deuce a thumbs up, “OK! I shall bring them out now. And I’ll get back to you in just a minute.” The male nodded at you with a small wink at the end of his sentence.

Totally an odd vibe.

Deuce gasped in disbelief letting go of Grim’s fur, “Whoa… Will he really have some here?”

You voiced your thoughts, “Maybe the back is just really big?”

The man returned with five bags full of items on your list, “Here, thank you for the wait. It is rather heavy, so are you sure you can carry them all?” The male, then gestured to a sign right next to the cash register about a special bag to carry all the items, “If you act now, I can throw in a special bag to carry all of those things for 30% off of its original price!” Deuce took out the money Trey gave him and handed it to the shopkeeper.

Grim blurted out, “What did you say? Hey, that sounds interesting!” The cat grabbed your clothes as he normally does pointing at the sign to get your attention focused on it.

Deuce shook his head while grabbing three of the five bags, “We. We will have to decline! Let’s go, Grim!”

“But why?! I wanna play more!” A pointing Grim was not resulting in a good day for anyone, but at this rate you couldn’t spend money on any food.

“About that question,” You brought it up to the shopkeeper.

The off-vibe man nodded, “Ok, what's the problem, little lost lamb?”

You asked, “Do you sell uniforms or at least know where I can find one?”

“I should have some, but they're all used ones. I’ll even cut the price because of how damaged they are.” He then told you the price which was great for uniforms but as someone who owned no cash, not the best.

You thanked the male as you picked up the last two bags while the other two began to walk out, “Thanks! I’m gonna come back once I have the money, but please save them for me.”

“Ok! of course, little lost lamb. I’ll have them in stock just for you.” He winked at you again, and at this point and time you’re just gonna assume it’s normal for him.

“Thank you so much!!” You responded while finally walking out of the shop.

Once outside, Deuce began a new conversation, “That was a very amazing shop, in a way…”

Grim was still pouting at the two of you for not giving him free food, “Boo, you two are so stingy.” His arms were snuggly crossed over one another and even his ears were flattened against his head.

Deuce swung around to ask Grim, “Who are you calling stingy?!” This, however, almost resulted with Grim getting a concussion because of how the bag of canned fruits and heavy cream knocked Grim to the ground.

Deuce quickly apologized, “Sorry!”

You placed your bag to check on Grim by feeling on his head for any bumps or any scrapes from the bag, “Well, no one would give a brat what they want now would they? I know you want some tuna, but money is tight right now and I can’t get you any for a while. Once I save up enough, I promise I’ll get you some.” You brushed back his hair before flicking at his forehead, “Just remember to keep that ego in check. Soon, who knows, maybe I can even buy a hairbrush and maybe even a phone.”

Deuce coughed before fixing the bags in his hold to reach his hand out to you, “The bag with the milks is heavy, isn’t it? I’ll hold it for you. I’m experienced with carrying heavy loads.”

You shook your head, “No way, lover boy, I can handle myself just so you know. And besides that's an odd area of expertise. Any reason why?” You kept walking to distract the male from taking your bag.

Deuce flushed red before starting his explanation, “Yeah, Mother always takes me with her during timed sales. She buys a lot, so I end up helping her with the bags. I’m the only man in the family, so I’m used to helping a lot with hard labor. Ah, I’m sorry… I keep talking about myself.” His face flushed even darker.

You rolled your eyes, “That is incredibly sweet of you, Deuce. Don’t be scared to talk to me about anything. We’re friends. You must care for your mother a lot with how you talk about her.”

Deuce stuttered, “No… That’s not true at all. I… Mother was…” Deuce flies back onto the ground after connecting with someone’s chest, “Ouch!”

All of the materials that Deuce was holding fell to the ground, but the biggest problem was that the eggs were now completely broken and leaking everywhere on the sidewalk.

Grim gasped and fell to his knees to try and save the groceries, “Ah, the eggs!!”

“Hey, you ok?” You reached out your hand to Deuce who grabbed it so that you could pull him up onto both of his feet.

Deuce locked eyes on the bag of now broken eggs and cursed, “Damn it!” He picked up the bag of eggs and began to check to see if any of the eggs were not broken and could be used, “All the eggs in the carton broke! The plastic bag’s now reeking with eggs…!” Deuce tossed them in the trash while Grim squirmed to grab the bag from him.

A white haired familiar looking male scoffed at the three of you, “That hurt! Where the hell’re ya lookin’ at,” His eyes darted to each member of your little group before continuing, “Wha? You’re the guys who ruined my carbonara’s soft-boiled egg during lunch today!”

Another familiar red haired student was right on his side, “Damn, it’s you guys again. Ya better give us a break.”

You grabbed as many bags as you could carry that Deuce had before, and you snorted, “And I thought I already crushed your egos, but I should have known you can't break a brick for a brain.”

The white haired boy snickered at the three of you, “Well it seems the little supervisor can’t even get us in trouble so no need for fear. You can’t harm us.”

Deuce had been standing in place for the last couple of seconds with his eyes on his feet, “…Aren’t you the ones at fault for bumping into me?” His sharp gaze met that of the duo of delinquents, “Even during lunch. The egg wasn’t really that badly harmed, but you made a huge scene out of it. Our carton of eggs is totally ruined, though.” Deuce rolled up the sleeves to his jacket.

Grim agreed standing as tall as he could across from the two upperclassmen, “He’s totally right!”

You walked over to where Deuce and Grim had made their little fighting stance, “Let’s just leave. They’re not gonna listen and we shouldn't get into a fight with idiots.” To further get Deuce’s attention, you pulled into the shoulder of his jacket to motion toward the bags, “We can always replace them. Let’s just get what we have back.”

The white haired boy swore, “The hell? You sayin’ it’s my fault, then? And idiots? I’m much smarter than any of you. Respect your elders!”

Deuce paid no mind to you or your constant poking on his shoulder, “Yes, please pay us back for the eggs. And also, please apologize to the chickens.”

“Hah?” The red haired boy quipped at Deuce, “Makin’ a ruckus over eggs, are we?”

Deuce grunts, “Hah?” before turning to you, “Remember the promise right?”

You nodded at him.

“Then, back up.” He lightly pushed you to make you back up, “And don’t get involved.” You locked eyes with the male only to see his eyebrows furrowed and a large scowl on your face. And as much as you wanted to help him and get him out of this situation, there’s nothing you can do against magic users. At least not yet.

The two other students did not realize how ready Deuce was to make this physical or how personal this was.

The whit haired boy groaned, “It didn’t hit the ground so you can still eat it. Stop makin’ a fuss over little things.” The boy slapped his friend before whispering something to him.

The other boy snickered before adding, “Ya better be thankful they broke inside the plastic bag!”

“Not only are they dumb, but blind too,” You mumbled to yourself which Grim could hear from his small chortle.

Deuce still had not lost his eye contact with the other two boys, seemingly eyeing them down to wait for the perfect moment.

Both of the boys let out the largest giggles possible that a teenage boy could without sounding like girls gossiping with their heads thrown back and their hands clutching their stomachs.

“Laughing at something that is surely your fault.” You rolled your eyes while trying to get the boy’s attention on Deuce who was in your eyes about to murder a bitch, “I think you should just pay us back for it. Maybe some extra too for having to deal with your terrible attitude to even it out.”

Neither student responded to you only grunting out stiffles of laughter for the next couple of seconds.

Deuce muttered to himself breaking eye contact with the two to gaze down at his hand which was clenched like in one of those TV shows when a character is going to do something he regrets, “... Mess with me, will you…”

White haired kid raises his eyebrows in confusion as Deuce looks to be slowly going insane, “Huh?”

Deuce exploded at the two, “I told you to stop laughing, damn it!!” His feet began to move closer and closer to the two who just stood in horror for the boy who was once silent, “You ain’t got no choice but to apologize for something that’s your fault! These eggs will be used to make a delicious tart in place of turning into chicks, bastard!! Do you understand me, huh!?”

“Wh-what’s with him all of a sudden…?!” The red haired boy was backing away from the approaching student and had a look of disbelief on his face.

Deuce grabbed his fist in one hand and cracked the knuckles of the other one, “If you’re not gonna pay me back for the 6 eggs, I got no choice but to beat the hell out of you six times.”

The white haired male faltered, “Huh!?” before seeing the blue haired male coming straight for him with his fists in a fighting position.

“Grit your teeth, you little bastards!!” And with that Deuce began his little fight by pulling at the kid’s clothes and punching them a little too hard.

“Where does that phrase even come from?” But what could you do besides stand there and wait even if you didn’t want the two to get hurt going into the fight now would be harmful.

You really need to stop getting involved in fights.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #twst grim #deuce spade #trey clover #ace trappola

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bleulone · 4 years ago

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i love your analysis so much! i have a question as well, like, how do you envision polin's sex scenes ? thanks for your answer (:

Hey! Thank you very much :)) I have no idea if they are that even good but I’m happy you like them. It’s just my brain tending to produce some iNsIGhiTfUL analyses though they usually end up drowned under a huge wave of stupidity and horrid spelling/grammatical mistakes XD. So, about Penelope and Colin’ sex scenes, I guess we’re getting spicy in this house 🌶. I mean, I don’t blame you. Who’s not hot for Polin ?! The steamy Polin hours have already begun and they’re legit challenging my patience. (Be still my Polin heart, be still).

Okay, without further ado, let’s talk about sex baby, shall we ? It’s a pretty long answer/meta so bear with me.

I don’t know if you’ve read Romancing Mister Bridgerton, but a quick reminder (for those who haven’t... yet), there are a bunch of iconic steamy scenes that I’m dying to watch on screen. First we have the famous “thank you” scene where Penelope, now a 28 year-old spinster, asks Colin to kiss her because she doesn’t want to die without having been kissed... then ends up thanking him— which happens to be humiliating for our 33 year-old boy because he thinks that she thinks he did it out of pity while he absolutely did not. The man definitely felt butterflies in his stomach... and in other places as well lol. We also have the ICONIC carriage scene where Colin gives Pen’s generous bosoms™ the attention they deserve. This is followed by his proposal. Later on, after the announcement of their engagement, there’s a pretty hot make-out scene on Lady Violet’s sofa. Finally, we have their first time in Colin’s bedroom, after sneaking out of their own engagement party... which leads Colin to push the wedding date forward. At this point, I just love their horniness, especially Colin’s who’s just so freaking amazed by Penelope for more than 300 pages straight (duh! who isn’t ???).

When you say envision, I suppose you mainly refer to the way those scenes will be filmed right ? I’m afraid I don’t have an advanced knowledge in film-making but let me start by telling you what elements need to be depicted. I would love Shonda and Chris to capture the real essence of our boos’ feelings : the yearning, the love, the respect and the guilt (specifically on Colin’s side) in their eyes. The more we move forward throughout the seasons, the more we see different layers of the perceptions of they have of each other, going from a childish idealization/immature ignorance to a sudden realization. A mature one. Penelope goes beyond the facade of the charming devil-may-care guy to meet the seriousness and temper of her significant other. Meanwhile Colin discovers how confident, powerful and attractive this woman is and always has been. It echoes what I’ve written about the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story in this meta. By the time season 4 hits, man... their heart eyes and eye-fucking will jump OUT XD, all fibers of their beings, burning with need. The fact that this evolution took literally years is very emotionally painful, which is why I find it important to keep the slowness aspect of their relationship before and during their love making. I’m really looking forward a slow build-up toward their intimacy. It would differ from Daphne and Simon who merely shared one hell of a kiss in Lady Trowbridge’s garden then shared their sexy times after they married or Anthony and Siena’s rough sex... In fact, there’s a certain (sweet) ardent tenderness in Polin I like due to the fact that they’re slowly (re)discovering each other, as adults. Since they were both introduced in season 1, the audience will have all the time in the world to notice numerous evidences of the many natures of love they have for one another : from an affectionate and friendly love to a more carnal and enduring one.

Okay so, in terms of filming, with Netflix’s Bridgerton being a show which promotes the female gaze, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise watching those sex scenes being shot from Penelope’s perspective, like it was the case with Daphne in the first installment of the series. Most of the time, sex scenes in Historical Romance are not gratuitous. Their presence serve an important purpose in a hero/heroine’s journey. In Penelope’s case, they’re here to help her learn to embrace and love herself. In other words, sexuality is synonym of freedom. I don’t know if they’ll show a lot of skin, but I won’t be complaining considering the fact that we’ll have the chance to get a chief kiss treat on screen : a plus size woman in a major successful Netflix period drama getting a love story as romantic and steamy as other more “fit” female characters. No, your weight doesn’t prevent you from being desirable at all. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t watched a plus-size female character portrayed as an attractive protagonist in a period drama (please if you have, let me know, I can be wrong). Having a beautiful half bare curvy body like Nicola’s being equally filmed like numerous slim actresses will be so inspiring and powerful to watch, especially for (young) women who struggle, like Penelope, to love their body shape which, to them, doesn’t “fit” the “beauty standards”. By showing her female gaze and portraying her as seductive, Pen’s “supposed” imperfections transform themselves into mighty assets, loved and worshipped by our dashing Mister Bridgerton. That’s body positivity at its finest darling ;).

It will be deliciously erotic watching the undressing process being exquisitely slow, garment by garment, while their gaze are all heated and hungry. Their sex/make-out scenes should be tender and passionate, sweet and raw. The lightning, colored by a dark blood orange yellow or a blue depending the locations^^. Moreover, the depiction of the exploration of Penelope’s desire can translate itself thanks to multiple close ups. For instance, I can imagine a few ones on Pen’s fingers gently roaming over the smooth skin of Colin’s firm chest and back/touching his hair right after he removed his shirt. And a disheveled Colin letting his hands and lips making a journey of their own, mapping, conquering the alluring unknown territory that is her gorgeous voluptuous body... kissing her on the places he knows oh too well will give her pleasure (is this me wanting him to go down on her?— um yeah I sure hope it IS! If he doesn’t, trust me imma riot... AGAIN). Even a close up on her face while Colin is performing his addictively pleasing torment will be a marvelous proof of the female gaze. By the way, why not even adding a post-coital scene after their first time ? I can picture Penelope waking up first and contemplate her handsome soon-to-be husband. She’d bring her hand to his face and let it travel all around his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and let it rest on his heart— making sure that what she’s just experience was real... obviously, Colin will wake up in the process and he’ll take this as his cue to go for another round of sexy times under the sheets.

Showing Pen reaction is essential according to me because she was stuck with the idea that she would never experience the luxury of being loved, giving pleasure nor receiving it... she ended up being happily wrong. Throughout her multiple intimate encounters with Colin, I want her to progressively realizes that she can be an active partner. In the carriage, she knew she had an effect on him, but it’s not until their first time that she actually realizes it. Hence the reason why I WANT the mirror’s introduction in one of their sex scenes. Here’s as a little reminder an excerpt from chapter 18 :

“I want to see you sitting up," he groaned, "so I can see them full and lovely and large [about Pen’s breasts]. And then I want to crawl behind you and cup you." His lips found her ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. "And I want to do it in front of a mirror."

“Now?” she squeaked.

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. "Later," he said, and then repeated it in a rather resolute tone. "Later.”

It would be such a shame if the show doesn’t use the incredible potential of this object (/kink). I mean, the symbolism is pretty clear. Penelope has always fled her “ugly” reflection but it seems like Colin wants to show the real her, the beauty that holds every single inch her alabaster skin and the effects they have on him. Thus, I would love to watch a scene where Colin just praises the alluring goddess and siren that is Penelope Featherington. Just imagine! Just IMAGINE the power of this scene : a shirtless Colin sitting behind her on a bed, meeting her gaze in the mirror, his lips touching her right ear, biting and licking the lobe sometimes, whispering all kinda of dirty yet poetic words to her while letting his hands caress her thighs, her hips, her arms, her lovely bosoms™... oof. At the same time, a wonderful and harmonic instrumental music will play in the background and match the melodic partition of shudders, breathes and moans let out by our lovers. I can imagine Luke inspiring himself from his performance in the 2019 short film, Youth In Bed. The way he conveyed the awe and the yearning on his face, in his eyes with his mouth slightly open when he knelt before his partner Shun Yin was just captivating and— and so Colin! I cannot help but bring myself to picture Ethan, the character he played in YIB, in a Polin steamy scene. I cannot unsee this anymore jsksk. I mean, all this gifset radiates this book4chapter18!Colin, you cannot tell me otherwise!

Also, I would love Shonda and Chris to keep Pen and Colin’s cute/emotional pillow talk. One thing I really love in JQ’s books is the concern she gives to her male protagonists about potentially hurting their partner during the act of penetration. Colin is a rake, and what his experience with women taught him is that he needs to be very gentle with the love of his life. It was so adorable seeing him not wanting to harm her and asking her to tell him if he does anything she doesn’t like 🥺. Plus, before actually doing it, Colin and Penelope shared a few kisses and just laid down side by side, confessing their love. Though our boy kept feeling guilty about not returning her love after all these years. He desires nothing but to make up for the lost time and show his love and desire during this special intimate moment. I hope they’ll keep all of chapter 18’s dialogue. It’s just so telling of our boos’ feelings, you see.

All in all, I can’t wait to watch those Polin steamy scenes. As much as I may sound crazy, I want them after two other seasons of pure pining and yearning in order to have a very good payoff. I’m not an expert on depicting intimacy on screen, but I loved so far what Lizzy Talbot, the intimacy coordinator who worked on the show, have done in season 1. Sex scenes in Bridgerton seem very real and dive you in the intimacy of the moment, leaving you all flustered and hot. So probs to her! I have faith in her work and have no doubts about what her and the directors will serve us in future seasons. Though, in the end, I think it’s mostly up to the actors, Nicola and Luke, to see if they’re comfortable filming sex scenes.

If you guys have any suggestions or wishes for those steamy polin scenes, please do share them :) by commenting on this post or by sending me asks! I’d love reading your thoughts/take on this very important matter ;))

#bleulone answers #meta and gush #polin #colin x penelope #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin meta #ask #anon #luke newton #julia quinn #nicola coughlan

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woeisme-iamwoe · 4 years ago

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an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 2

IwaOi this time around. My favorite ship. The world’s favorite ship...there’s so many

Undecipherable, by ioo (4k. G. canonverse)

I’m pretty sure the author meant ‘indecipherable’, nevertheless! I am appalled that this work doesnt have more hits. Y'all are sleeping on it and that's not okay.

The sound of the door slamming against the wall has Hajime startling back to the present. He looks at the source of the disturbance and finds himself face to face with Oikawa, red in the face with breathlessness and a leather-bound notebook tightly clutched in both of this hands. When he spots Hajime, he makes a beeline for the bench and slaps it down right next to him.

"Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

primavera, by tothemoon (8k. T. canonverse)

All of tothemoon’s works read so beautifully

They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Learning to Walk (So That We Can Run), by ricekrispyjoints (27k. M. canon-divergence)

I've read this work so many times. Like, so many times and I’ve never tired from it. Gorgeous. The shift from friendship to romance felt so natural, love it.

"I'm not healing like I should be."

In his second year of university, physical therapy just isn't cutting it. Oikawa's knee is getting worse, and he can't hide it anymore.

Or: the light angst, project-your-own-life-experiences-on-Oikawa knee surgery fic you didn't know you wanted.

Priorities, by weirdmilk (2k. T. canonverse)

Kissy, kissy.

‘I just -’ Oikawa begins, ‘it might be difficult to get married, sometimes, I think.’ He chews on his lip.

Iwaizumi makes a questioning noise.

‘Ah,’ Oikawa says, and then, in a rush, ‘if I didn't want a wife at all - what then? If I said that to you. If I told you I can’t see it. Like - the wedding dress. The bride. I just can’t see it.’

Iwaizumi swallows again, his heart beating much faster than the conversation warrants. He wonders whether Oikawa can hear it. ‘You’re eighteen. You aren’t supposed to see it yet.’ He snorts. ‘I mean - if we’re sharing shit, I’ve never even kissed a girl.’ He doesn’t mind admitting it. It’s not something that bothers him - he’s never prioritised girls very highly, and despite Oikawa’s largely undeserved status as Miyagi’s most eligible teenage bachelor, he doesn’t think Oikawa has ever wanted a serious relationship with any of his fan club, either.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi can't sleep before their first practice match with Karasuno.

Before Midnight, by fathomfive (2k. G. canonverse)

Reads like a fairytale.

The sky turns, the seasons turn over, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa track the movements of the stars. Nothing is ever quite constant, but it's close enough.

The grass is stiff with frost. They walk in silence past the raked-over vegetable garden and up the back hill, footsteps crackling, and stand side-by-side at the top of an incline that used to seem much bigger. Iwaizumi glances over but Oikawa’s already gone, eyes searching the sky with no hint of hurry, just a kind of reverent patience.

make a bet, keep a promise, by raewrites (13k. M. canonverse)

Bet still on.

Sometimes, in still moments, Iwaizumi wonders why out of all the people on earth he ended up with Oikawa Tooru. Why it’s his face that lingers on his fading conscious in the last moments before he falls asleep, in the first blurry seconds upon waking up again. Why when he looks to his side, he expects Oikawa to be there in the same way he expects to see five fingers on both hands, a natural extension of himself, ever present.

Why he can’t imagine a future without Oikawa in it.

It begins with a bet made between the two boys in the mid-summer of their eighth year. It starts with volleyball, but like with most things involving Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, things are never quite that simple.

our hearts still beat the same, by knightswatch

two birds, by thelittlebirdthattoldyou (5k. T. canonverse)

Of heartbreaking letters and paper crane wishes.

Five months into the term, two months after he’s stopped replying to Oikawa’s texts, the first package arrives. A small square box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and Hajime almost trips over it on the way to his dorm.

There’s a letter attached.

Oikawa doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to put his feelings down on paper before Iwaizumi believes them.

Through My Eyes, by anchoringsouls (2k. G. canonverse)

Okay! Okay, we were doing great with the soft, happy love up until the last part! That's great, just great!

“I think if you ever saw yourself through my eyes, you would fall in love with yourself the same way the way I did with you.”

in time it could be ours, by deusreks (3k. T. canonverse)

Anyone wanna go back in time and make a time capsule with me only to dig it up years later and we’re actually in love?

Set post Seijou's match with Karasuno. There's a moderate amount of rolling in the dirt. No pajamas were hurt in the writing of this fic.

There, in their joint backyard, was Oikawa Tooru, clad in his silly luminescent space pajamas, digging a hole near a cherry tree.

“What the hell, Oikawa.”

Tooru stubbornly continued digging. He looked pitiful in that moment; everything that was grand about him in daylight was meaningless in the darkness. He was only a boy with a shovel whose broken heart mirrored Hajime’s own.

we can do better than that, by spaceburgers (16k. M. canonverse)

Of course, of course, the IwaOi road trip fic. AnD thErE wAs ONly OnE bED!

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

They Say it Rains Diamonds on Jupiter, by exsao (35k. T. canonverse)

I don't know, just gorgeous. Hajime’s so in love.

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

Midnight boys/sunset town, by carafin (10k words. T. Housemates AU):

The author says they played off of the fact that Oikawa oftentimes forgoes his sleep in order to work, and wrote it so that he doesn't sleep at all. This was so cute, kinda sad, mostly not. Love how Iwaizumi just goes along with whatever crazy stilch Oikawa is on.

In which Iwaizumi Hajime grows a few chili plants, participates in an eating contest, breaks into a park, and falls in love with a man who doesn't ever sleep - not exactly in that order.

5 Reasons Why Iwaizumi Hajime's Flatmate Is A Complete Weirdo (An Incomplete List)

1. He's obsessed with that stupid bucket list of his.

2. He's the proud owner of seven truly ugly, criminally hideous movie posters with aliens on them, which he insists on pasting all over the damn living room.

3. He's always stealing Hajime's sweatshirts.

4. Sometimes, he wakes Hajime up for breakfast. At 5AM. On Saturday mornings.

5. He literally never, ever sleeps.

The Best I Ever Had, by FindingSchmomo (62k words. T. Canon-divergent):

You’ve read it, your mum’s read it, your dog has probably read it (you really need to take facial recognition for him off your phone, he’s got some weird nighttime habits). So basically this fic caused me physical pain and then pumped me full of morphine and now I’m good! Beautiful read, hated Oikawa for a while, Iwaizumi is the only boy I would ever feel safe alone with.

A story of separation and time lost. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lose contact, and life goes on. Now, a decade later and back in Japan, Oikawa wonders if he can pick the pieces back together, despite knowing Iwaizumi has moved on. A story of their past, present and future, pieced together by shaky hands.

darlin', your head's not on right, by aruariandance (13k words. T. canonverse)

Again, I’m pretty sure anybody who's anybody has read this fic and for good reason! Super sweet realizing you're in love fic. Makes me reconsider wanting to get married.

'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle, by kittebasu (66k. T. canon divergent)

Is this one of the most famous Iwaoi fic? I don’t know. Looks like it, I know it's my personal favorite. Where Oikawa studies bugs for a living and can’t seem to come to terms with his feelings. Very angsty, love that in a fic.

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Terrarium, by sausaged (11k. T. Post-canon)

Honestly, I’m so surprised this fic doesnt have more hits! It’s so good! Made me ache! I love the memories and character growth shown through the growing of the terrarium, absolutely adore that kind of symbolism. So beautiful, give it some love because it's one of my absolute favorites.

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

Lips like sugar, by ohhotlamb (8k. T. canonverse)

Why did my childhood best friend never offer to help me practice kissing only for us to realize we were only interested in each other? I had a fake high school experience.

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

Falling Slowly, by bravely (commovente) (3k. T. canonverse)

So special, imagine loving one person, and one person only like this for the entirety of your life. This is getting too sappy, I want off of this ride.

over the years, some things change; but over the years, some things stay mostly the same.

(alternatively, mornings with oikawa and iwaizumi over the years).

No sleep in the city, by loveclouds (7k. T. canonverse)

Mass/volume = Iwaizumi, apparently. (Please. If anyone gets this absolutely horrific joke, lets elope).

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Time, by surveycorpsjean (5k. E. canonverse)

Growing older together.

When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Everything With You, by Ellessey (14k. E. canonverse)

Came damn near to crying, you can just feel Iwaizumi’s pain. Fight scene was probably the most emotion evoking one I’ve read in a long while.

‘Hajime still loves Oikawa, but he understands now. Oikawa can't look at him and see someone he could potentially date.

And that makes it easier to not focus on the little things that used to drive him crazy—Oikawa's long legs, the way he's always hanging off of Hajime, how his whole face changes when he gets ready for a jump serve, and he looks like he could take on the entire world and win.

This new arrangement though, this living together situation, is presenting a new set of variables that must be adjusted to, and the nakedness is one of them.’

For years, being Oikawa’s best friend has worked out fine. Hajime is hopelessly in love with him, but it’s enough. Then Oikawa—who, by all accounts, has never been anything but determinedly, assuredly straight—gets a boyfriend. Or a boy friend-with-benefits. Hajime doesn’t know, and he doesn’t give a shit about the definition.

What he knows is that remaining best friends is starting to seem a bit too painful (way too painful) to be considered a solid option.

The Best Best, by rikke (12k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Takeru is a whole mood. Don’t want kids, but I do want domesticity and this fic feeds me well.

“Congratulations, Iwa-chan! You’re a dad!” Iwaizumi hears as soon as the door opens. He’s dealt with Oikawa for all of his twenty-one years of age now, but this declaration is still sufficiently disturbing enough that he turns from his place on the couch and braces himself for whatever Oikawa has done this time.

Or the one where Iwaizumi and Oikawa babysit Takeru for a week.

cheek kisses, by ohhotlamb (G. 3k. Future fic)

Sooo cute!!

“Every time,” Hajime murmurs, “every time I see you again I remember how fuckin’ crazy I am about you.”

Routine, by snoqualmie (2k. T. canonverse)

Again, anyone wanna be my childhood best friend so we can put face masks on each other and fall in love? I died, truly.

Iwaizumi is fourteen years old, horny too often and angry all the time, and he’s just starting to notice that Tooru’s legs are really long, that his lips are kinda soft looking, and his fingers feel good pressed under his jaw.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, by sunsmasher (19k. G. canon divergence)

Be wary, I would give this fic an upper rating to probably Teen and the follow-up fic is Explicit. But, Oikawa on the Japanese national team is just a dream as is, but add in a rekindling friendship and an angsty make out sesh? Mwah, delizioso.

It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

He has, however, sent Iwaizumi tickets for the 2024 Los Angeles Summer Games.

“So go,” says Matsukawa's voice. “It’s only a few weeks. You’ve got a whole city to hide in if it gets awkward, and if it doesn’t get awkward, well…”

It’s like watching the future reconfigure, like being in high school again, watching team after team fall to Oikawa’s faultless planning and shameless charm.

“I’ll get to watch a whole lot of volleyball,” Hajime says, and resigns himself to fate and/or Oikawa Tooru.

“Hey, when you get there, can you bag a gymnast for me?” Hanamaki asks, and Matsukawa squawks.

Chasing Paper Suns, by carafin (10k. T. Future fic)

Again with the growing up and coming back together, this time with more angst than the last. Lovely, really lovely read.

Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Some days Hajime likes to think of himself as Oikawa’s counterpart—the two of them blending into a single devastating unit, the invincible setter and his unyielding ace, the bond between them unbreakable and true. Other days he feels like he is chasing after a rising sun, always running and running with his eyes fixed on the distance, trying to cross a chasm that stretches on without end, caught in an endless and exhausting pursuit.

the yellow room, by ohhotlamb (14k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Makki and Mattsun see bullshit and call you out on your bullshit.

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

the river runs, by tothemoon (11k. T. post-breakup)

My heart ACHES. Happy ending, promise! Just read it.

One year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

I sure hope that guy gets fired, by Xov (29k. T. canonverse/time loop au)

The only thing better than one confession, is MULTIPLE confessions. Oikawa trusts Iwaizumi unshakably, and that's beautiful.

It was the fourth time experiencing the exact same day that Iwaizumi Hajime reluctantly admitted to himself that something was very wrong.

my only friend was the man in the moon (until i met you), by ohhotlamb (7k. T. canonverse)

Just so innocent and sweet. Oikawa said ‘effort’.

In which Oikawa has a life-altering revelation, and Hajime is starting to think it involves him.

Bet On It, by originalblue (13k. E. canonverse)

Tooru being nice for a week? That can only end one way… with a d*ck in Hajime’s mouth.

Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

especially for tender ones like us, by viverella (17k. T. canonverse/post break-up)

Gods! See? See what I mean? How could I forget about a work as heart wrenchingly beautiful as this? Give it some love, actually, all of the love.

The worst part of it all, Tooru thinks to himself sometimes, is that even as they fought and kicked and screamed and tore each other to shreds, it was never that Tooru stopped loving Iwaizumi any less. The worst part of it all, he thinks, is that loving Iwaizumi turned out to not be enough.

(OR: on finding the right person at the wrong time and learning how to pick up the pieces)

sunset town, by skiecas (33k. T. canon-divergent)

Another work that I just CANNOT understand why it doesn't have more hits. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I almost cried.

In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

Two years down the road, reconciling his lifelong dream with his lifelong love proves to be the greatest challenge.

of odd numbers and intimate regrets, by bravely (commovente) (5k. T. post-canon/one night stand au)

Basically, Tooru and Hajime sleep together after not speaking for seven years and of course there’s feelings and angst and a belated chance at happiness and a life together.

Tooru’s spent the last seven years of his life in a carefully constructed schedule that is, he realises now, as much a habit as it was a way to forget about the person in front of him.

[or, the one night stand AU between two people more than friends but not quite lovers, measuring the passage of time in distance and long-gone memories, the expansion and contraction of the spaces between their fingers each time.]

cross my heart, open wide, by acchikocchi (7k. T. canonverse)

Super cute, super short. Realizing you're on a date with the wrong person one-shot.

For a minute Hajime doesn't know what to say. Everything and nothing crowds his mind, leaving no room to think. That he's never tried this. That volleyball's over. That he's graduating in five months. That it would be really nice, at least once, to go on a date with a good-looking guy.

Hajime goes on a date. It's not with Oikawa.

Fernweh, by oikawashoyo (19k. G. canonverse/post time skip)

A mature(ish) Tooru?? I love works that show Tooru growing and living happily in Argentina and this one is just beautiful. (Plus! Plus, Skai did a piece on it as well and I love ALL their work so you can visualize everything). Love it.

Argentina is stretching out before him, an opportunity, a challenge. He is reminded of his losses, his insecurities, his disappointments; sees them form a tall, tall wall blocking his path to success. He takes a deep breath and knows he is going to shatter it.

In which Oikawa's whole life is spent longing for the horizon — in the form of a dream, a home, and a boy.

i breathe easily in your arms, by orphan_account (2k. M. canonverse)

Soft, soft sex

When, after completing their high school graduation ceremony and heading home to enjoy their freedom, Oikawa had pulled him into his room and pressed his lips hesitantly against Iwaizumi’s own, it seemed an inevitable development in the unfolding narrative of their shared existence.

Despite years of having a bed to himself, the sensation of another body taking up space in his sheets, curling against his chest, creating warmth, feels natural in much the same way.

old and new, by Mysecretfanmoments (5k. T. canon divergence)

Finally a fic where they don't freak out on confession and it's sweet.

“You seem—sad.” Was that the right word? Others sprang to mind: desperate, lonely, anxious.

Tooru looked away. “Are you going to make me say it?”

“Say what?”

Tooru folded his arms, sighed. “I missed you, of course.”

Hajime swallowed.

“No need to look that way. I told you, I’m not one of your macho man buddies. I’m allowed to say stuff like that without being embarrassed—”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Hajime complained. “No need to be so defensive. I’ve missed you too.”

“Oh?” Tooru seemed to get a little of his own back, leaning forward on his elbows. “What about me did you miss?”

((Going to separate universities, Hajime and Tooru learn the true meaning of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"))

all i wanted was you, by spaceburgers (6k. E. college/fwb au)

This was more emotional than I thought a 6k friends with benefits fic could be, okay? Okay.

Wherein Hajime and Tooru are fuck buddies, Hajime curses his treacherous heart, and Tooru is bad with feelings.

we shine like diamonds, by whitemiists (26k. T. canon divergence)

I couldn't not include this work. It deals with internalized homophobia so well and I really resonate with it.

In all seriousness, I’m very lucky to live in a country where my sexuality is widely accepted and my heart goes out the LGBTQIA+ peoples who are forced to hide themselves. You are loved and your sexuality and gender-identity are not wrong and never will be.

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Look For Him, by Leryline (18k. E. canonverse)

A collection of kisses. I love Hajime’s grandmother.

She laughs gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so heartbroken before, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi sighs and prods at the mackerel with a chopstick. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just different, you know? Like Oikawa pissed me off so much that now he’s not here I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“But you weren’t always annoyed with him, were you?” his grandmother smiles serenely and takes a sip of her tea. “My, my, Hajime, old women see everything. I saw you out there with my finches, when you were kissing Tooru’s nose. Your mother and father used to do the very same thing, you know, when they were younger. And look how long they’ve lasted. I hope you and Tooru last, Hajime. He’s very good for you.”

Oikawa has kissed Iwaizumi more times than either of them can count; it’s a constant thing, their lips never really leaving the other’s skin. There are, however, times when they’ve kissed that are burned into their memories. Eight of them, to be precise.

film reel life, arsenicjay (8k. T. canon divergence)

Such a unique and creative idea! Reading from the eyes of a camera, so beautiful!

The only person Iwaizumi is lying to is himself, when he insists: I am not in love with Oikawa Tooru.

how to let your planets align, by tether (tothemoon) (15k. T. end of the world au)

This is the only remotely non-happy ending fic I will be including on here, and it's purely because it's a gorgeous read. And yes, I ached. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.

It is the last day on earth, December 2nd, 1985, when you realize you're in love with him.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi #iwaizumi x oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru

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prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

Text

Guardian of the lost soul

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: if what the reader dress as an angel (kinda like Supernatural angels) and she finds the scoobies gang in the haunted house with the costumes magically change them. (you know the episode ^-^) only this time , Spike sees her wings and in angel terms that's a soulmate.

Requested by: @everlastingartist

A/N: Kind of a soulmate au I think? I am not familiar with the Supernatural angels (yet - I plan on actually watching it soon) I did google them and I’m still none the wiser lol. So this is my own interpretation of what was requested! I chose a guardian angel, and twisted it in my own way. It is very made up but that’s what I’m here to do!

Also I mashed up two Halloween episodes together for this one but Spike doesn’t have a chip. Not even a soul. But he finds his soulmate.🖤🦇

You loved Halloween in Sunnydale, it never disappointed. The pumpkins were freshly carved, there was candy everywhere you turned and kids really did love dressing up and making a nuisance of themselves. Even when you were running for your life the mood always picked up somewhere after midnight. And hey, being friends with a very protective Slayer had its benefits.

You were basically skipping around the streets, you were excited about going to the haunted house. You had tried to convince Willow, along with buffy to take the ghost costume off but she flat out refused. Even when you begged all the way to the party. You wanted to get to the end so you could join the party with your friends and you waited briefly for everyone to show up so you could enter together. While you and Willow waited outside, a figure in a dark cloak pushed past you. There was something about them that you recognised but they muttered some insult at you for being in their way so you decided to just ignore them. Eventually, everyone arrived and you were able

You had chosen to dress as an angel. A guardian angel. Not the stereotypical kind, one you had read of in some of Giles’ thick mythology books. You had been bored and the passages had been surprisingly interesting in an I’m-so-bored-I’d-read-the-back-of-a-cereal-packet kind of way. It spoke of the kinds of angels, of the truth about how they operate rather than those spoken of in popular culture. Some of your costume was white however as you wanted people to at least recognise what you had come as (although nobody except Willow had got it).

You went through the various rooms together and had a laugh at some of the more ridiculous spooks in the house. There had been a slight tension a few words exchanged but mostly you were having a nice time. Everyone was squabbling over which way to go next and you had lost interest, managing to break away from the others.

As you did this, you saw the hooded figure again. You were sure you recognised the flashes you had seen of the person’s face. You left your friends for a moment to tap them on the shoulder and who should turn to face you but the big bad of the moment. Spike. You hadn’t faced him alone yet but he had always singled you out when you were with the others. The conversation always turned suggestive, which annoyed Buffy to no end and made you try to hide yourself when you were with the others.

You couldn’t lie and say you didn’t love the attention though. Hope that he would catch your eye. You longed for even a moment alone with him, although you were well aware of the danger. You couldn’t help like him but there was no way you would ever admit that to your friends.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked, trying to suppress a smile.

“Thought I’d drop by… see what tasty… treats Halloween has to offer” He closed the space between you as his voice became a little huskier with every step. His hand was on the wall, palm flat against it. His arm blocking you in as he slowly scanned your body before returning to your face.

“What has the devil got in store for you this Halloween do you reckon pet?” He asked, the smirk audible in his voice, “Somethin’ naughty no doubt…” He added, biting his lip teasingly.

“I’m an angel. Always preferred them anyway” You shrugged. It had been a very low blow and when you saw his expression darkening into anger rather than lust, you backtracked – knowing better than to get him mad, “To the devil, I mean”

“Bollocks – where are the wings? The halo? And you’re not foolin’ anyone wearing that white-” he gestured wildly to the corresponding area where each item should have been with the hand that wasn’t leaning against the wall. You smiled, about to respond when someone interrupted.

“Spike!” Buffy shouted, having turned to find you in the haunted house. She was relieved to see you (as she had lost the others) but she was not pleased to see the vampire that still had you boxed in, pressed pretty close against you.

Buffy made light work of hauling him away and trying to throw him out of the house completely. She tried to find the front door but it had gone. You were now aware you were trapped inside this now truly haunted house. No, it was worse. It had turned into a murder house as half the student body upstairs had started to scare themselves to death almost before the real threat had.

Everyone was rushing past you and as Spike smelled fresh blood, he ran in the opposite direction to where the others were coming from, straight into the carnage. His stomach was rumbling and he was ready for a decent meal.

Everything was going on at once and you wanted it to slow down, or at least give you chance for a breather. There were too many threats at play tonight. As if the powers had requested it this way, a busy scene of threat and revelations for their own personal enjoyment.

As you tried again and again to leave and to help find the others, things started to get worse. You had now lost Buffy and were trying to find her by (you guessed it) calling out her name which was the best way to attract anything other than good luck. You had to fight off some cobwebs and now, your own body it seemed. You were hurting, doubled over. Something was happening. You sunk to your knees, grimacing. Nothing was going your way.

It was a strange night. The strangest Halloween you had experienced. The others were lost and at the same moment, Willow turned into a real ghost. Xander a real soldier and Buffy was now a genuine high society lady from the 1700s. It was spooky and not in a cute way.

You had managed to get to your feet, pulling on the cobwebs as they attacked your head again. As you looked down checking you had removed any stray webbing, you saw that you were glowing. Literally. You appeared human still - no wings or halos but there was a strange feeling that you had aged hundreds of years in just a few seconds. Not in appearance, that was still your skin and your face. But in knowledge. As if you had read every book known to man and then some. You felt powerful. Strange.

You walked around, able to know what was happening in every room. You managed to get places just by thinking about it. Able to protect people before they succumbed to the terrors the house had in store. You didn’t know how this was happening, but you knew better than to question it.

You had hope. You had a purpose and you were getting used to adapting to different people and their needs. That was until it came to something you needed. You turned and saw your friends through a two way mirror. They had all found each other but you couldn’t get to them. They were trying to remember who they were and come up with a plan. You started to panic, banging your fist on the mirror that you could see them through but they didn’t hear you. You hurriedly left through a side door to try and get to them seeing as your previous power wasn’t working. But you never made it to your friends. You had walked straight into someone. The one someone that you always managed to find, no matter what.

Spike had appeared. He seemed the same except... was that a heart beat? You frowned as he stepped towards you, the swagger still in tact.

“You listened to me then, pet? About time” He muttered as you looked at him confused. You didn’t understand. You looked around for some kind of clue until he spoke again, “The wings. You put ‘em on. Knew it would complete the look… not that you need to be wearing any more clothin’ items” He added, the trademark smirk on his face as he almost prowled towards you further.

“I’m not wearing any wings…” You said slowly as he came to stand right in front of you, leaving not so much as room to breath between you. He frowned, and looked behind you before looking back into your eyes. He could see the wings as clear as anything. They had a large wingspan, it was kind of impossible to miss. He reached out the touch them and you felt his fingers. You frowned, checking behind you. There they were, bat-like rather than the feathered kind you had expected and almost translucent whilst appearing closer to your skin tone. He found them aesthetically very appealing. Almost as if it were a part of you. He just stared, almost in awe as he felt they were warm the texture as soft as your skin.

It came to you suddenly. The folklore you had been researching. The mythology. The only one that may see the wings of the angel is their soulmate. Their one eternal love. It was said that every angel had a soulmate and that no matter how long they lived, they should find their soul no matter how seemingly impossible. No matter how many times they were lost, they would always be found. And you had found yours. Your love.

You and Spike had been less than useless during the fight to escape the haunted house and regain your own lives back. You were perfectly happy right here. Locked in each others gaze. A happiness neither of you had felt before until this moment. Until this revelation. You had been sharing. Talking so easily to one another. Him telling you stories of his past, and you surprising yourself with stories of your own. Ones that could match his. You felt an entrenched need to protect him. To hold you into him so that no harm could ever befall him.

The chaos going on around you was now secondary to your story. You holed up in a room together, Spike never looking away from you. The guardian angel in you was screaming for you to help the others again, but your heart was set on him. On relearning of your love. You had faith in your friends abilities anyway.

He leaned in, his thumb trailing your face and lingering near your lips. He had thought about this for so long. His usual crude quips had been founded in truth. Forged to both show how he felt and camouflage them at the same time. He felt for you so deeply his soul had made an unwitting appearance back into his life. Whenever you were around his heart felt as if it may break free from his ribcage in the hopes of greeting yours.

You closed your eyes as he did, the build up to this kiss achingly slow. You could feel his breath on his face he was so close. His touch was warm and familiar, his lips made for yours. You could feel it. The anticipation almost became too much as he finally grazed your lips.

But, just as suddenly as it was cast, the spell broke. The feeling of danger returned to your gut as you were in Spike’s presence. Your kiss never deepening. Your stomach flipping as you snapped opened your eyes. Spike’s vampire instincts kicked back in and it was resoundingly telling him that he was hungry. Your scent was so enticing to him, his face changed of its own accord. His fangs so close to you but you knew he wouldn’t kill you. You knew it as if it were fact. As if it were gravity or the colour of the sky being blue. Spike loved you and wouldn’t harm you. They were each true sentences, you had never been so sure.

Buffy, however, now fresh from being bound in the sensibilities of a woman with no aspirations other than to be pretty was ready for a fight. She had fought to escape the haunted house and now she would fight the nearest big bad in sight. Spike. She wrenched him from your neck.

But when he drew back, he had the same look in his eye as he had only moments before. Your soulmate was still right here in front of you, there was nobody that could convince you otherwise. And believe me, Spike really tried since then.

Buffy and Spike traded blows. Neither became victorious, but you were able to leave the house and Giles had somehow managed to force Ethan Rayne into reversing the curse he had put on your costumes.

After that long Halloween night, your mind barely stopped thinking about him. Sometimes you walked around after dark to see if he would come along and pretend to eat you as an excuse to just talk to you. He often wished to find an excuse to see you. Without knowing what it was, he felt it too. Deep within. Stronger since Halloween night. Sometimes he found himself standing around in places he knew you would frequent just so he could watch you. Catch a glimpse of you. Although, he had been doing this before Halloween as well.

You remembered so much more than that night, however. Memories that should have been long since buried of you and Spike finding each other over and over in other places and times still lingered as you wished his thumb still would along your jaw. You still remembered those memories and you wrote them all down before you could forget. They were like dreams, something you knew so well but struggled to recall in enough detail to satisfy.

You would forever carry a piece of his soul around with you now. That feeling just couldn’t go away, you wouldn’t let it. It was as if his soul were a locket hung around your neck. You would guard it with your life. Keep it close to your heart.

He would come back to you, you were sure of it and you were happy to wait until that day came.

#A very Buffy halloween #Spike btvs #Spike x reader #Spike x you #Spike imagine #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x you #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #gender not mentioned #soulmate au #kind of #Halloween #halloween fic #Halloween request

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whats-rambled-rambled · 3 years ago

Text

Long Nights - part 7

Neil x Reader

Chapter 7: Wicked game

(see chapter 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)

summary: it’s time to come back to life, and sometimes it involves Neil dragging you to a social event

warnings: 18+, language, alcohol mention (beer is considered alcohol, right?)

author’s note: 3k words. It’s not exactly what I had in mind for that chapter, but they have a mind of their own, as always.

Almost there.

The song for this part is Stone Sour - Wicked Game (acoustic, live)

Enjoy and let me know what you think, please? All feedback is greatly appreciated.

——————

Tag list: @cxnnienikas @neutron-stars-collision @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway @i-wanna-b-yours @wonderwoman292 @buckysgoldenheart @townmoondaltwistle @theriverbeneaththeriver (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)

-----

It didn’t matter how many times you saw him do that, the effect the sight had on you was pretty much always the same. Filling your mind with thoughts that were quite counterproductive, one could say.

The veiny patterns covering hands and forearms. The long fingers running through the buttons. The tilted chin, extending the neck, drawing attention to that impossible jawline. The slight pout. The brows drawn together in concentration--

You smacked your tongue and shook your head

“Y’know what, those shirts of yours are so rude, but the way you wear them, the rolled-up sleeves?”

Neil looked at you through the reflection in the mirror, puzzled. “What about them?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely disrespectful,” you sighed heavily and leaned against the door frame.

Playful lights danced in the blue eyes. “Oh yeah?” he teased, giving himself a final glance-over before turning to you. “And what you’re gonna do about it?”

“Nothing,” - you shrugged, crossing your arms - “because you insist on dragging me to a social event.”

The faint resentment ringing in your last words didn’t get lost on Neil.

“So boring of me,” he said as he closed the gap between you, trying to keep a straight face. He put his hands on your waist and smirked. “But maybe after that we can come back here and continue the conversation.”

As you fixed his collar, a shade of smile hid in the corner of your mouth.

“Really wanna listen to me listing all the things that drive me mad about you, huh?” you asked smugly, gliding your fingertips along the delicate stripes of the greyish beige shirt.

Neil’s thumbs brushed over your hip bones as he hummed, “I have a feeling it might lead to a rather pleasant conclusion.”

When you let out an amused scoff, his lips captured the snarky comment that was bound to follow. He pulled you closer and lifted you up, and the next second you were sitting on the edge of a vanity cabinet, breathless from the kiss, tugging at the striped shirt.

A buzz right next to you.

You jumped, startled, and glared at the phone. “Is it too late to tell Matthias the Uber driver that we’re not going anywhere?” you asked without too much hope as you nuzzled your face to Neil’s neck, breathing in his scent, unwilling to let this moment end too quickly.

Neil chuckled and stroked your arms. “Come on, it’s gonna be fun.”

You still didn’t know where he was taking you - he’d assured you that it would be casual, and that was basically all you cared about. He knew you enough, and you trusted his judgement, after all.

“It better be,” you pouted, pulling back, but as soon as you met the bright blue eyes your heart sang in your chest. After spending all that time in the darkness, not sure if you’d ever see his face again, you caught yourself taking an extra second every now and then, just looking at him. How the light played on his features, now soft in the elaborately illuminated hotel bathroom. How his lips curled whenever he found your gaze. How utterly stunning he was.

Smiling gently, you ran your fingers through Neil’s disheveled mane, taming the blonde mess if ever so slightly.

“Let’s not keep Matthias waiting, then,” you sighed and slid off the cabinet.

-------

The afternoon was quite warm for late autumn. As you were arriving at your destination, you watched the sun shining through the scarce leaves left on the trees, adding vibrance to their colours. Too mesmerized to pay attention to the route, you recognized the place only when the car stopped. The training site. You turned to Neil in confusion, but he just wiggled his brows and proceeded to thank the driver and got out of the car. You followed him out and right through the gate of the now-empty paintball outdoor facility which served as a front for the agency’s base, hidden a bit further inside the forest.

“Picking up something on the way?” you asked, matching his pace as you strolled towards the training grounds.

Neil shook his head and smiled mysteriously. “Not really.”

“Alrighty then, keep your secrets,” you snorted, rolling your eyes. “Aren’t we a tad overdressed for a little playground fun, though?”

“A rematch?” he pondered and smirked. “Didn’t plan on that, but it’s tempting.”

Indeed. “I’m kinda out of shape, but keep those baggy trousers on and I’m game - wanna beat you fair and square again.”

Neil let out an exasperated huff. “Baggy?! They might be a bit loose but --”

You giggled at his offended expression as he got busy looking down at the target of your remark, ready to defend his fashion choice. Your laughter was enough to stop Neil in his tracks, and when he met your playful gaze, he reached out and drew you into his arms for a tight hug. After a brief moment of perplexity, you eased into his embrace, moved by the force of sudden affection.

When he pulled back, you touched his cheek. “What was that for?” you asked, searching the blue eyes, but finding nothing but joy there.

“Being cheeky.” He scrunched his nose while tapping the tip of yours. “And brilliant,” he added, and for a second you were sure there was something else he wanted to say; instead, he laid a gentle kiss on your lips. “And maybe stalling a minute longer before I’d have to share you with all these people.”

You gaped at him, about to ask what people, but Neil already grabbed your hand and led you around the corner of the building - and you heard them even before you spotted them.

“Oi, there they are!”

“Finally!”

“We’ve just considered sending a rescue party in case you got lost in the woods!”

The unexpected eruption of cheers and greetings made your fight-or-flight reflexes kick in, but as you instinctively took a step back, Neil squeezed your fingers reassuringly.

A split-second exchange of looks.

All right?

When he saw your tiny nod, he let go of your hand, focusing on the team gathered at the makeshift chillout zone. “Not everyone has your poor sense of directions, Seb,” retorted Neil, flashing his teeth in a grin.

The young man’s protests got drowned in laughter as you approached the group together.

"Luckily not the case with our rogue here,” said Ives, elbowing his way in between other people. He shot you both a disapproving look, toned down by a smile dangling in the corner of his mouth. "Really, roofs? Didn't know you had it in you, mate."

"Me neither,” admitted Neil, going in for a clasp of hands and a brief hug. “When I saw that gap, I was sure that was it. Someone convinced me otherwise."

“The secret is to avoid looking down,” you shrugged, meeting the commander's amused gaze.

"Thanks for bringing our favourite nerd back in one piece." As Ives extended his hand, there was something serious about his expression, mixed with a sense of relief, and you realised he must have been in the response team Neil had called for help.

“My pleasure.” Beaming, you shook his hand. “Thanks for providing backup.” And scraping me off the pavement.

Neil’s gasp was almost theatrical. He smirked and nudged Ives lightly. “Aw, I’m your favourite?”

“Careful, that privilege may be revoked any minute,” grunted Ives in a weak attempt at keeping up appearances, but he couldn’t fool anyone. Now that you had a chance to observe them in the after-hours situation, the bond between the two men was clear as day, and your heart warmed up at the thought.

Waving back at Mahir, you scanned the group for other familiar faces. Wheeler, a couple of people you recognized from the HQ halls, and a bit isolated from the others - the big man himself, manning the barbecue station.

Overwhelmed by the attention you got from the team, you excused yourself and walked up to The Protagonist. You couldn’t help but smile at the confident vibe he radiated with as if he spent every weekend doing nothing but this.

“So dad of you, boss.”

He flopped a sizzling piece of meat to the other side, glancing at you humorlessly.

“How are you feeling?” he asked with polite concern.

“Grand, healed up nicely, thank you.” You circled your shoulder and grinned. “Not in a marathon condition, mind you, but that’s not exactly new.”

“That’s good, Neil was worried about you.”

Not sure if it was the lack of eye contact or something else in his presence, but you decided to stop ignoring the gut feeling.

“You don’t like me,” you said, tilting your head. A mere statement of the fact; you weren’t hurt, only curious. “It’s okay, you don’t have to, just been wondering why.”

TP sighed heavily. And when he finally met your gaze, the dark eyes were sad, only deepening your confusion.

“I’m sorry.” Then something cracked and a shiver ran down your spine, because suddenly, in front of you there was a man who’d seen a lot, suffered too much, and cared even more. The weight of it all slumped his shoulders, and for a short while, he seemed almost helpless. Taking a quick look at the hollering group, he sighed again. “It’s not your fault, it’s--“ he hesitated, searching for the right words. As he found them, there was no sign of the vulnerability from a moment earlier. “It’s a stressful business.” He sent you a crooked smile. “And I’m still mad about that watch.”

The lie was obvious. But the things you saw in his eyes made your chest clench painfully, and…did you really want to know?

Besides, that might have been a truce offering, and you weren’t bent on holding a grudge. Not with him, anyway.

“Hey, wasn’t it technically your idea?” you grinned, shrugging off the weird sense of dread.

A smile finally reached the dark irises. “I guess it was,” he admitted and patted you on the arm. “There’s some beer in the mini-fridge, could you --”

“On it.”

When the clank of bottles sealed your peace treaty, you caught Neil’s happy stare. You pointed at the beer in your hand in a question and he nodded, so you grabbed one more and joined him and the others.

That unfortunate mission must have been some sort of rite of passage in these guys’ eyes because out of the blue, you were no longer an outsider. The Cavalry accepted you with open arms as one of their own, and you couldn’t wrap your head around it. It was a nice feeling, though. Like you belonged. You saw some curious glances, but they came from a good place, and even the suspicious voice in your mind gave in under the cordial, jovial energy of the group.

Soon enough, you were joking with a young medic, having a balancing stand-off with Wheeler, or listening to crazy stories from some old operations, until everyone had enough booze in their systems that allowed them to direct some of the questions to you, as well.

“So is Neil a decent locksmith now?”

You puffed out your cheeks in a musing grimace, but when you spotted Neil’s raised brow, you started laughing. “I’d say even more than decent. Honestly? I don’t think there’s much more that I can teach him, he needs to polish his skills in real life now.” Mocking a teary sniff, you added, “They grow up so fast!”

Nobody would know that you did so while actively ignoring a faint sting in your heart.

You refrained from meeting the attentive blue eyes, though. Just in case.

“Oh cool, then what about a little contest?” Seb clapped his hands cheerfully. “You versus Neil, we could time you, and to make it fairer we could put a blindfold on you --” as he stopped for a breath, he realized - with some help from Wheeler’s elbow to his side - the slight faux pas.

But you barely acknowledge a curse and a mumbled apology cutting through the awkward silence, too busy exchanging amused looks and stifled giggles with your student.

“Neil, would you like to explain?” you asked, schooling your features.

He bowed his head as if he was accepting a great honor. “Gladly.” Neil took a deep breath and his eyes lit up. “See, my dear friend, had you known anything about lockpicking, you’d learnt that sometimes it’s easier to do that with, for example, your eyes closed. You need to listen to what the lock has to say because it’s all about feedback--”

You watched as Neil gave a full lecture, citing your own words from what seemed to be a lifetime ago. He did it with passion and understanding of the craft you’d never dreamed to see in someone else, and yet was so familiar when it came to him. Absentmindedly, you placed a hand over your chest, as if it was enough to stop it from bursting.

You couldn’t be more proud.

Neil finished his rant and looked at you, only to be met with all the appreciation and validation in your gaze, and he beamed even wider.

“All right, damn, we can cover Neil’s eyes then,” sighed Seb, a total resignation in his voice sparking a roar of laughter from the group.

----

As much as you enjoyed the energy of the team, your social batteries were getting drained, and you needed a moment for yourself before you could carry on.

Walking right outside of the periphery of light from the garlands, you let your gaze slide across the training equipment, now barely visible in the moonless night. The leaves crumbled under your feet as you smiled at the memories. Maybe one day you would actually complete the full run? You pulled on the sleeves of your sweater, hiding your hands from the cold evening air.

“Mind if I join you?”

You glanced over your shoulder at Neil, keeping his distance, ready to give you space. With him, it was always in the details he’d picked along the way, effortlessly weaving them into everyday life. “Not at all.”

Neil perked up and joined you in the shadows, inhaling deeply.

“Funny how the scent of the forest changes with the seasons,” he mused and you grinned, turning his way.

“That’s what I call a pick-up line,” you snickered and drew a long breath. “But you’re right, it’s too easy to forget that once you become a permanent city creature.”

He chuckled and lightly rubbed his hands up and down your arms.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked softly, fixing your oversized scarf.

“Yeah.” You brushed your cheek against his fingers, longing for his touch, now that you were somewhat hidden from the prying gazes. “You?”

Neil moved closer and wound one arm around your waist, then cupped your face gently, pressed his forehead to yours, and murmured, “Now I am.”

You hummed happily and slid your hands under his open jacket, resting them at his chest, and closed your eyes. Only then realizing how tense you were, you relaxed in his embrace, savoring his closeness. A steady heartbeat under your palms. The warmth carrying undertones of Neil’s cologne. A featherlike graze of his thumb over your cheek. His nose nudging yours.

But soon enough, you had to break a stolen moment. Trying to stifle a yawn, you hid your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound.

“Oh, my poor baby,” he cooed, biting back a giggle. “That tired?”

“I’m fine,” you mumbled against him on the verge of another yawn.

“Sure you are.” He kissed your temple. “The party’s almost over anyway, judging by decreasing amount of idiotic ideas per hour. Gonna call us a cab soon, all right?”

As you nodded, Neil tightened a hug and reluctantly let you go.

“Be right back, I’ll check if there’s any coffee left,” you said, gesturing towards the tables with beverages.

As your luck would have it, there was just enough for one sip.

A sudden sneer was enough to wake you up, though.

“Hell froze over.”

Mahir walked up to the mini-fridge to grab a beer and you met his mocking stare with furrowed brows.

“Vincent must be chattering his teeth now,” you joked, unsure where the conversation was heading. “Why?”

Mahir scoffed at the remark about your old associate, but he was still studying you closely, confusing you further. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“Dude, you’re killing me today,” you sighed, wiping a hand through your face. “Thanks, but what for?”

“You and Neil?”

And when you shot him a puzzled look, he waved his bottle at the place where you stood together a moment before.

Breaking out in a cold sweat, you deadpanned, “Oh.”

Bloody hell.

“I thought you weren’t doing the whole love thing anymore.”

The pulse pounded in your ears, although not loud enough to tune out the sirens blazing in your head.

No.

It came out harder than you felt it. “I’m not.”

No, no, no, no, no.

Mahir grimaced doubtfully. “Uh-huh.” He looked over your shoulder at the team gathered together in the distance and raised a brow. “Does he know that?”

You couldn’t force yourself to follow his gaze. The panic drained your face of all colour, and that was enough of an answer for your friend.

“I see.” Mahir shook his head, losing the enquiring manner. His features softened as he patted your arm. “Neil’s a good guy.”

Please, no.

“They always are,” you choked out bitterly.

Not again.

“You know what I mean,” insisted Mahir, searching for your eyes.

That the history was not gonna repeat itself?

...or that he didn’t deserve any of it?

“Yeah. Maybe.” You faked a smile. “Excuse me.”

Pushing past him, you went inside the building. You needed to be alone.

Oh, the irony.

Weeks of deliberately avoiding the topic. Tricking yourself into thinking that you can keep it casual. That it didn’t matter that much. That it was nothing but a self-indulgent fling.

You couldn’t breathe.

Lesson learnt, huh?

Barging into one of the restrooms, you got to a sink. Clenching your hands on the cold ceramic, you fought nausea tearing through your body.

Pathetic.

The gasp for air turned into a sob.

...and then everything went quiet.

You raised your eyes to the mirror.

Your reflection was staring back at you with determination.

It was time.

(next chapter ->)

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet fanfiction #neil tenet imagine #robert pattinson #tenet #tenet fanfiction #long nights

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princeanxious · 4 years ago

Note

Okay stupid tumblr didnt tell me you said yes but HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS :DDD

When did they become vanpires

How old are they

What year were the vampires born

How long has V been locked away, what has he missed

Does V immediately latch onto the grunge/emo aesthetic because it matches the whole vampire theme

Is Roman a himbo™

What is the twins relationship like

Anxciet is the main pairing, are there any side pairings?

How does Janus react to the whole "oh yeah vampires are real" thing

Were any of the vamps around for any big historical events

Were any of the vamps big historical figures

Do they end up going to highschool/uni with the humans

What does everyone look like

Do any of them have really strong opinions about something useless (eg. pineapple on pizza, a certain colour, double denim, etc)

Virgil became a Vampire sometime in the 17/1800s?? Logan is from around the 1500s, and Patton claims he lost count a long time ago.(Patton’s probably at least at least a thousand years old though? But he looks more like a young 25 y/o whose attire choices change day to day but generally always gives off that Parent vibe), Virgil was turned by Patton, Logan was born Vampire, Patton was assumably born vampire. Remus and Roman are 27, Janus is 25.

Virgil was locked away for about 150 years, give or take? He missed the entire shift in society and the human experience, from how relationships are viewed/treated to longer lifespans, to cleaner hygiene, convenience, and technology, hell, even the more open existance of the lgbtqa+ community! A /lot/ has happened in the past 100 years, and now Virgil has alot of catchup to do.(and don’t worry, Patton & Logan help Virgil catch up pretty quickly, they share flashcards and Virgil gets h o o k e d on social media when he gets a phone)

He absolutely does. Its a weird adjustment, what with the now wildly varied different textiles and styles and change. Especially the lack of layers, he misses those. (And finds immense comfort in the jacket that Janus gifts him, as its big and oversized and feels oh so very soft and warm.) But no yeah, he gets his hair cut(it still grew for those years locked away, albiet still rather slowly from malnutrition) and rocks the fringe, even gets his hair dyed purple to match his eyes, all the grunge/punk/emo aesthetic! Some of his favorite new things are makeup, piercings, and so much black fabric to chose from!

You’ll be surprised to note, that Roman is sadly not a himboTM in this au, as Virgil has already taken over that roll 💜💜💜

Remus and Roman’s relationship? Honestly ride or die chaos, the kinds of siblings that play pranks on one another and insult eachother but god forbid some poor outsider steps in to try and say the same thing they said abt their sibling, that outsider will have regreted it. The kind if ‘The Only one allowed to call my brother a Bitch-Ass Idiot is ME’ kind of siblings? Look they grew up in a area filled with people who dont like things out of the norm and befriended the local bullied kid who is half-covered in snake scales and speaks with a lisp due to his split togue. Remus himself suffers from intrusive anxiety and Roman suffers from chronic(?) depression. They’re all a bit ride or die, through and through.

Anxceit is the main pairing, and while it’s not entirely set in stone, Logince and Intruality are probably the other two.

Technically its not a secret in their world?? Like magic is a thing in their workd, its just usually left out of humanities bloodline. Humans like Janus are pretty rare bc of that. Vampires are still p rare to meet but not unheard of.

Yes, the vampires were alive for many major historical events. No we are not going to talk abt any of them. Same goes w/ historical figures.

Yes! Infact, Roman and Logan share college/uni theatre classes together! Logans currently an astronomy major, Roman a theatre arts major(i think thats what its called?) Logan is a formidible lyrical rival and Roman finds himself constantly losing to his rival in the form of slam poetry, though every day Roman always gets a little closer to winning(Logan adores the challenge, and the passion Roman has to beat Logan at his own game is riviting to experience. Logan would def consider Roman a perfect companion, but would have never acted on it if virgil hadnt been rescued by said companions twin brother, thus gettig both trios heavily involved w/ each other.) Patton’s been alive so long that he doesn’t care too much for academia, and instead focuses on tactile learning, like pottery and woodworking. Remus himself is an arts major, known for making really hyper horror or grotesque creature sculptures/doll customization, so he kind of just laches onto this man who seems to be larger than life and is far from bothered by Remus’s ‘not safe for common convos’ way of talking and its nice not to have someone run away. (Honestly, the feeling is mutual between the two)

As for what everone looks like, I kinda just want to leave that up to interpretation? If I end up drawing any of them they’ll probably be reflective of the way that I usually draw the sides, just human or vampire-ified, and maybe have a trait or two tweaked specifically for the au? The only real thing standing out to me is that i might give Remus or Roman Albinism? Idk yet.

Uhhhh i’m sure they have alot? Logan hates modern mirrors, bc they are usually not made w/ a silver backing. Let me tell you the first time Logna passed his full blown reflection out of something he’d never been able to use before, its clear, consise, ans ge hates it bc he can now very easily stare into his own eyes clearly and question existance.

Patton, despite being the oldest ever, is still v afraid of soiders despite knowing they cant hurt him too horribly.

Virgil is under the strong opinion that memes are hilarious and hoodies are amazing.

#anxceit #intruality #logince #mvv au #sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #vampire!virgil #vampire!patton #modern vampire vee au #luka’s aus #luka answers #ask to tag

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sylvie-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Bad (4): Moral of the Story

First inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

Summary: Your divorce with Ransom is finalized and some changes, good and bad, occur for the both of you.

A/n: Sorry loves that I’m slow with getting out chapters! There’s just a lot going on lately, so I apologize that this one is kinda short. Next chapter will be better!

Also, many thanks to those of you who voted! hehe I might have been a little biased and wanted Andy in the story too...

Warnings: mild profanity. more angst.

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Series Masterlist

On November 12th, a life you once knew was officially left behind.

That was the day a judge signed off his judgement and you and Ransom were officially divorced.

After all the hell he put you through, one would think you’d be happy. But honestly? You were still unhappy. Of course you’d never left him back in your life, yet your heart was still broken.

It wasn’t supposed the end this way.

You weren’t ever supposed to be sitting in your car, alone, letting your confident facade fall, as your shoulders racked with heavy sobs.

Unfortunately, life is just always full of surprises. Good and bad ones.

Today seemed as if it were just the perfect day for a divorce, if there was ever such a thing.

Rain heavily fell from the ominous-looking clouds, such as your tears uncontrollably streamed from your eyes. You were thankful for the dark lighting, making it impossible for the others parked in the dimly-lit parking garage to see your distressed state.

Behind your tears, the radio quietly played, and you took a second to listen to the song, reaching forward to turn to volume up, just the slightest. Its lyrics spoke to you, and somehow you knew things were gonna be okay.

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end it's better for me

That's the moral of the story

Once your emotions made their much needed escape, you took a deep breath, as if you were starting afresh. This was your life now, and from here on out, you’d make the calls. Ransom was no longer looming around the back of your conscience and it was nice. He was of the past, and currently you were preparing for the future. Even your little one knew it, as they lightly kicked you, almost as if they were saying, ‘it’s gonna be okay.”

And you knew that was true. You had a baby on the way, and that was more than enough. A precious gift from the heavens, who would be making their appearance in a little over a month. Just the mere thought brought a smile to your face, one you caught in the rearview mirror. Analyzing the smile, you realized that it wasn’t forced and that you were finally, truly, happy.

A few weeks had passed since the divorce, and you were functioning just fine, some would even say incredibly. For you, the dark clouds of your divorce and past love life had moved on, but for Ransom, it was quite the opposite…

Ransom was miserably laying on his couch, legs propped over the armrest, head lazily laid on a throw pillow, half of his mind focusing on the tv, while the other half, imagined a time when you were there with him.

“Ransom, have I ever told you how much I loved you?”

You hand rested on his soft and clean-shaven face, gazing happily into his never ending blue eyes. The man pretended to think, shaking his head then leaning forward to capture you lips in a kiss. Ransom pushed your back against the couch, as the two of you laughed, although still lipped locked.

“Ransom…”

The man’s eyes may have been glued to the tv screen, but instead his mind was replaying the memory of you. He could even hear your voice, as if the daydream was nothing more than reality, until another voice cut into his mind. A higher pitched one, if you will.

“Ransom!”

He didn’t respond to the girl, the call of his name being mixed with two voices. Blair’s and yours. It took everything to hold onto to your voice and ignore the other.

“Ransom.”

Finally, the woman’s voice, who was actually standing in front of him, broke through, shattering his memories and pushing him into reality.

Ransom quickly sat upright, to act as if nothing happened, allowing the smiling woman to sit in his lap, while peppering kisses over his jawline. Her kisses were nothing like yours. You kisses were filled will love and not lust.

“Oh Ranny. How did I get so lucky?”

He plastered a fake smile on his face, leaning into to kiss her nose, instantly repulsed by his own actions.

“You know, I already did some wedding planning today.”

The words that left the woman’s mouth made Ransom’s constant thinking freeze. He had been so eager to getting over you that he blindly proposed to this woman, who was obviously no better than himself. She was going to put up with his shit, unlike you. That was definitely something he didn’t need in this new marriage. Actually he didn’t even need a marriage.

“Blair, I’m sorry I just can’t.”

Her eyes grew like the size of saucers, as she hopped off of Ransom’s lap, standing tall and towering over the sitting man, clearly ready for a fight.

“Can’t what, Hugh?”

“Get married.”

The scoff she let out was loud enough to be heard in China, before her pitchy voice started yelling at Mr. Heartbreaker. She really was overreacting, this was Ransom Drysdale after all.

“You asshole! Is it because I’m not (y/n), huh is that it? Newsflash! She won’t take you back. You’ve fucked up Ransom and now you are losing me too!”

At the mention of your name, a fire ignited inside Ransom. Yes, he screwed up, but he didn’t need anyone, especially Blair, to tell him that.

“Yeah, I screwed up, but you know what? We are both fuckers who ruin the lives of the ones we love. You knew damn well I was married, and seeing what I did to her, you knew what you were getting yourself into! I’m not blaming you, cause it takes two to tango, sweetheart!”

Blair stared daggers into Ransom’s eyes, him doing the same, as both of their chests were heaving from their screaming match. The man had made a great point, although self-deprecating yet true. When he was married, he was so willingly ready to cheat, it was a sign that Ransom would never be ready to commit to anyone, even when he thought he was in love.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be arguing and drunk, though, while even sober, Ransom’s mind never functioned properly. Not after you left anyway.

Their argument continued into the night, with Blair leaving behind her rock of a ring in the palm of Ransom’s hand. And truth be told, that when woman angrily strutted out the door, Ransom felt at ease for once. He had finally put a patch on his sinking boat that rocked in the large ocean of his fuck-ups. When the bed was empty that night, it felt nice. Why he ever traded you for Blair was beyond him, and he hated himself for it. But no, he knew you’d never take him back, you were too good for him. Hopefully, you’d find someone else who’d love you better than he treated you. For once, Ransom put your needs before his. If you were to show up on his doorstep tomorrow moring with an engagement ring, and a man at your waist, he’d hoensly congratulate you. As much as it would pain him to see you move on, he knew no amount of pain could weigh up to the heartbreak you felt.

This was his punishment.

It really did take all the physical restraint in Ransom to not run up to you, fall to his knees and beg when he saw you those weeks ago in court. It took everything in him to not call, and apologize for the hell he put you through. Because as much as you deserved an apology, he knew you’d never forgive him and it would hurt him even more.

For you, as the time to your due date got closer, you suddenly realized that one income might not be enough. Bills after bills can bleed one dry. So, last Saturday, you saw an ad online for a personal assistant, the requirements were slim and the hours were as needed. After four long days, you finally received a chance for an interview, which unfortunately occurred during your work hours. Lorraine, the sweetest woman on the planet, offered to work your shift, giving you the time to rush off to the DA’s office. Newton wasn’t too far of a drive, and at this point you’d travel across country just to give this precious life inside of you, a good beginning. Being eight months pregnant, probably ruined your chances of getting the job, but when you met your “hopefully soon-to-be boss”, he seemed to not care. Actually, he was willing to give you the jobs, but was concerned it would be to much for you. It took a few tries, but you finally assured the man, leaving his office only to see him again tomorrow.

You came to know your boss as Andy Barber, a man with a heart of gold, and his worries always about you. It was endearing, and you started to unintentionally drift closer to the man. One late night in that very November, Andy had decided to work well past his usual hours. It was pitiful to see the man all alone in the building as the only source of light was at his desk. Thanksgiving holiday was coming up and Andy begged for you to go home and start your holiday break. For minutes your both “bickered” back and forth, until you finally left, giving Andy a sense of relief. He really did care about you, although he never said so. Your were his employee and he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way. Well, until tonight anyway.

Just as Andy thought he’d sent you home, you came back ten minutes later, a small pizza box in one hand, while the other held a liter of soda. A grin spread across Andy’s face, as he stood up to take the box from you, clearing off room on his desk for the two of you to eat. While enjoying your makeshift dinner, you and Andy started to open up to each other even more, carrying on small talk, that led to something else.

“So how far along are you, (y/n)?”

“About eight months.”

Andy raised his eyebrows in surprise, while also admiring you for your dedication.

“Wow, that’s amazing! I can’t even imagine how hard all of this is for you.”

Your boss motioned to all of the paperwork on his desk, to which you just shook your head. It really wasn’t an inconvenience at all.

“Oh, it’s not that bad. I’m the only one making a home for this baby, so I do what I can.”

Your eyes trailed up from your belly to be met with Andy’s sympathetic smile.

“I wouldn’t have known, but I do know this baby has the best mother of them all.”

At the compliment you let out a small laugh, a sound that made Andy beam, as the two of you continued to work on some files. To keep the night from falling silent, you continued to talk with the man, not missing a beat in your conversation.

“Thank you, that means a lot to me. My husband, err, ex-husband, Ransom, cheated on me, but he did leave me this precious gift.”

For some reason, you felt compelled to tell Andy your story, like you needed to get it off your chest to someone other than Lorraine. Come to think about it, Andy was the only other person you trusted, Lorraine, of course, being the first. In the two weeks you had worked together, the man had made an everlasting impression on you.

Oh good god, why did you just spill your guts to the man? He probably doesn't care for your sob story--

“Ransom? As in Ransom Drysdale?”

You nodded your head, preparing yourself for some spew of judgement.

“That’s right! I’ve heard of him... and you. The two of you seemed in love. I’m so sorry (y/n), you didn’t deserve it, honey.

Not only were you shocked that Andy did genuinely care, but the pet name sounded like it was a second nature to him, which seemed to make your heart swell.

“Thanks. It’s led me here though! To this amazing job with my lovely boss.”

Feeling a surge of confidence, with hopes that maybe Andy felt the same way, you shot him a playful wink. Your eyes dazzling in the yellow light of the desk lamp, making Andy view you almost as an angel. Thank the heavens he wasn’t standing, because your adorable wink made his knees weak.

If Andy was going to become close to you as he hoped, now was the time to come clean about his past, and serve it on a platter as you had done. A good relationship always starts with trust.

“Well if it makes it any better, I went through something similar. My wife left me years ago, with my son too. Last year, I went to go visit them, only to find they’d been in a car accident-”

A stray drop of a tear fell onto the paper underneath Andy, and it broke your heart to see him this way. It was obviously hard for him to tell the story, and you’d heard enough. Deciding to make a bold move, you moved around the desk and wrapped your arms around Andy’s shoulders.

The man solemnly turned towards you, his chair swiveling around along with him, giving you the space to sit on his knees, while holding him close. His beard tickled your neck, as silent tears were shed. Your hand soothingly ran along his back, as you placed soft kisses to his temple. Andy’s arms were at your twisted waist, the baby bump slightly in the way, although you had turned your body to accommodate the man’s large figure.

The two of you stayed locked in each other’s embrace for a long four minutes, until Andy pulled back, his arms still around your waist. Slowly, you brought your hand around from his neck, and to his cheek, using your thumb to wipe at the dry tears. Andy leaned into your touch and smiled contently at you. He was a broken man, who needed some love. Exactly the kind you’d shown him.

Without second thought, you pressed your lips to Andy’s, noticing how his lips felt different than Ransom’s, his beard making you giggle just a bit. After what seemed to be forever, you and Andy reluctantly pulled away from each other, blissful smiles on your faces.

From that night forward, you and Andy Barber started dating. Dinners out after long nights of work, or movies at home. He reminded you so much of how Ransom was in the beginning, except this time, you knew that this man wouldn't break your heart.

For Thanksgiving, you invited Andy over for dinner as the two of you were all alone this year, no family this time, and your friends had their own lives.

Dinner started out great, you and Andy bought a small Turkey, basting and then roasting it, along with making some side dishes, most of them being microwaveable. Honestly, the food had tasted delicious regardless of the way it was cooked.

Just as you were about to dig into the feast before your eyes, a text message rang through on your phone. Who would be texting you at this hour, especially on thanksgiving?

Ransom- I know this isn’t the time, but I was wondering if tomorrow you’d like to go out for lunch. Not as a date or anything, but so I can apologize to you and explain. I’m not looking for forgiveness, but you deserve to know.”

Your face looked as if you had seen a ghost, the expression scaring Andy as he had peeked up from his plate to see you not eating, and instead staring into the void of your cell phone screen.

“(y/n), what’s wrong?”

Reaching across the table, Andy grabbed your free hand, slightly startling you from your deep thoughts.

“Uh. Ransom. He texted me. Asked for lunch tomorrow to explain everything.”

The man, still holding your hand, shook his head, prompting you to continue on with the story.

A part of you wondered why the events of the past had happened, and to get closure, you needed answers. Maybe it wasn’t in your best interest, but the curiosity inside of you was piqued. Now that you knew Ransom was willingly ready to talk, you also knew that if you didn’t take this opportunity, it would instead eat away at you. Something that you definitely didn’t need.

“Andy, what should I do?”

“Oh honey, I know you want to know what happened , so go. But if you ever feel uncomfortable, call me and I’ll be there to kick his ass.”

You laughed at Andy’s protectiveness, and lightly kissed his hand that was enclosing yours. Looking down, you felt a tiny yet powerful kick. A sign from the little one that his or her father still didn’t know about their existence. The ending of Ransom’s text flashed in your brain, the irony of it all laughing at you.

You deserve to know.

Ransom was an asshole, that’s for sure, but in the end he fathered this child, and deserved to know that much. The same went for yourself, as you were entitled to the story that destroyed your marriage.

Tomorrow is definitely gonna be one for the books...

another a/n: If you’ve made it here (the end) I applaud you very much, but while you’re here, I apologize for this chapter. The writing style is that of a fifth grader, and I am forever ashamed that i actually posted it haha.

Anyway, the next chapter should hopefully be better!

taglist (series and in general tags): @kiwihoee @buckybarnesthehotshot @memissbee @tricereads @tonystankschild @coffeebooksandfandom @ria132love @what-is-your-wish @maan24 @bval-1 @jemimah-b99 @turtoix @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @l-u-n-a-m @lexeeehhh @hc-geralt-23

lemme know if you wanna join, be removed, or if i tagged the wrong person!

#ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale imagine #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans x y/n #andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x you #andy barber fanfiction

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queenofthefullmoon · 4 years ago

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An exhaustive list of Bloodborne bosses I would or would not date

Father Gascoigne

We’re starting this list off with a strong yes. You may be like, but Blue, this is a married man with two daughters! To this I reply: I pretend not to hear it. Also, not to be horrible, but his wife is dead while I’m right there baby, with my blunderbuss and my axe, and I’m ready to risk it all. YES, I know he’s a very stinky man, but you gotta make compromises sometimes. What’s that smell? Ah, the sweet dilf, it sings to me.

Cleric Beast

Let me be clear, I’m not a furry, but the Cleric Beast has stated some facts and made some points! The only reason why I’m not to keen on dating it is that it can’t best me in battle, which is something I’m always looking for in a partner.

Blood Starved Beast

Our first no of the list, I’m not very into skin flaps and poison, which the Blood Starved Beast has plenty of. Moreover, I’d have to get Djura’s approval, and that scares me beyond anything else in Yharnam.

Vicar Amelia

Another Cleric Beast, this time with a bit more flair to it. First of all we just have to admire the way she transforms, very sexy and bloody, which is something you’re gonna want in your relationship if you’re someone who likes fun. (Thiccar) Amelia, cradle me like your golden pendant.

Hemwick witches

Another hard no here. No offense, but I like having eyes, and dating a pair of witches covered in eyes that they’ve been harvesting for years doesn’t seem like a good idea to me!

Shadows of Yharnam

Honestly yeah? You get 3 cool partners in black robes for the price of one. They all wield different weapons, which makes for two excellent things. First of all, you get a very efficient bodyguard team (useful at parties, when a hunter gets drunk on blood, or when you open your front door and a beast is there). Secondly, if you want to have a fun sparring match with your partners, which we all know is a fundamental activity in a couple, you have very varied options!

And a bonus for animal lovers: they can spawn snakes at will for you!! Never a boring day with your 3 hooded partners.

Rom, the vacuous spider

NO. Don’t date Rom. She’s baby! She doesn’t understand what’s going on. Instead, here’s a list of nice activities you can do with Rom:

- Read her stories

- Trims her back growths

- Clean her teeth

- Make her some cute little glasses

- Knit matching socks for her and her children

- Teach her new spells

- Not date her

Darkbeast Paarl

Paarl is a similar situation as Rom. He’s just a little puppy… He doesn’t know what dating is. He knows what going on a walk means, though! So go on, go on a happy little walk with Paarl. He’ll love it, you’ll have fun, everyone will be happy.

Amygdala

Yes. Evidence that it’s a good idea is: lots of arms (good hugs), can grab the shit out of me, CAN and WILL crush me, can sometimes shatter my consciousness with its eldritch powers (very sexy), can send me in other dimensions, will annihilate my enemies with a funky laser beam, and the most amazing feature: can pop it’s eyes out of its skull like a stress ball (fun trick to show your friends at parties). The ideal girlfriend.

The One Reborn

NO!!!!! There’s a lot of freaky stuff I’d date in Bloodborne but the One Reborn is NOT one of them. Firstly, it has 6 nannies. Do I look like the type of person who wants their dates consistently moderated by 6 Pthumerian elders? No!!! I’m a free bitch baby!! And in addition to that, Juan Reborn just has too many limbs. It’s not okay. If we ever got engaged I wouldn’t know where to slip the ring.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

Would I..? No, I wouldn’t… Unless? Haha, just kidding. Wait… Actually… Um.

I mean… If you’re into bastardous hysterical little men who howl while running around, sure. BUT beware… You might lose him in a mirror and never find him again, which I find very inconvenient. Imagine going shopping with a guy who compulsively disappears in mirrors. Imagine explaining to the store employees why your dumbass boyfriend broke all their mirrors.

Also, how will we kiss? With the cage on the way?

Oh god, do I have to wear a cage too?

Celestial Emissaries

I’m not against having a multitude of partners but I’m afraid that might be too much for me. Also, they look like little tiny bebes. I know I’ve said before that I wasn’t ready to be a parent, but I might make an exception for the Celestial Emissaries — let them chill in my home, make them pb&j sandwiches, stuff like that.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

Dear Ebrietas… I have a lot of fondness for her but she looks way too much like mac’n’cheese for comfort. She’s invited for sleepovers and all, no doubt about that, but I see our future together as platonic.

Martyr Logarius

Now Listen… Logarius is an Enemy of women. The proof of his crimes still remains in Cainhurst castle. Do I want to date the genocidal Yharnam Santa? Are you really asking me that? Do you take me for Executioner Alfred? I am not crazy. I will not date Martyr Logarius and his red skulls spamming ass (however miss Annalise queen of the Vilebloods, call me).

Mergo’s Wet Nurse

Um yes of course? Tall dark eldritch wife? I feel like Mergo’s Wet Nurse is the Dancer of Bloodborne, where I’m in a situation where I’m presented with the ideal girlfriend and people expect me to say no because she’s an enormous eldritch entity who could kill me in one hit or whatever. Do you think me a coward? Do you believe that I am not willing to risk it all for invisible girls? Think again.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Ew no! Gross! He’s gonna make a doll designed after me and I will have to call the police!

Moon Presence

On one hand yes (see Mergo’s Wet Nurse) but on the other hand… I feel like the Moon Presence would be too possessive and easily jealous. I just need some freedom, yknow? The liberty to go out and make friends with other Great Ones. And I know she would NOT like that. She’d ask me if I’m the only Great One I’m talking to and I’d have to nervously hide my phone and say Yes Babe Always Babe, lest she would shackle me to an unending dream. I’m not about that life.

Ludwig the Accursed/the Holy Blade

I genuinely don’t know what to say. The screaming horse man? Am I— the horse boy? Him? No. I… I’m not gonna. I love his sword. Lots of class. Very good theme song, could be cool to have him as a friend (maybe I could ride him around to different locations?) but to date? Kiss his horse mouth? KISS HIS EYE MOUTH? You could say that… Neigh.

Laurence, the First Vicar

NOW WE’RE TALKING BABEY… All the class of the Cleric Beast with FIRE included! Picture this: it’s the winter, it’s snowing, and you’re cold… NOT! You are dating a FLAMING BEAST, you are never cold. Laurence has one proper arm to hold you and one arm that’s a constant flaming inferno, which means he’s great for the summer and the winter, depending on which temperature you want to be at. Your enormous flaming boyfriend will always be at your side.

Living Failures

First of all mood, second of all, this is kind of a Celestial Emissaries situation where I’m not against having many partners but I don’t want a whole congregation of them. There’s just too many Living Failures. I also like dating people with faces? And that aren’t, like, blue. So it’s a no from me, but I’ll befriend them. I’ll go garden with them and all. We can have a girls’ night, it’s all good.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

I’m gonna have to be predictable and say yes here, but fair warning, Lady Maria isn’t for everyone! I know she looks like the perfect wife, but get this; this lady is a hunter. She’s only a lady because she’s related to royals. She has nothing ladylike in her. You think she takes baths? You think she knows what self-care IS????? I laugh at your ignorance, at how you misunderstand her. Maria is a stinky girl; but she is MY stinky girl.

Orphan of Kos

I don’t want to date the Orphan of Kos because he was literally just born and still has his placenta attached to him. I don’t care for infants, and I don’t care for violent infants. I wouldn’t even want to invite him over to play with the Celestial Emissaries or something. He’s like that asshole child in kindergarten who hurts the other kids for fun. Am I being harsh to a literal baby and an orphan at that? Maybe. But Kos herself couldn’t tell me I’m wrong.

Bonus chalice boss: Yharnam, Pthumerian Queen

Now listen here… Yharnam is a queen, tall and kinda eldritch, absolutely rabid, which we’ve established is my type. Shall I step on the toes of Oedon and declare her mine? Perhaps. She has a very powerful scream, which worries me in case of a domestic fight, but overall I get to marry a kind of eldritch queen, which is alright in my book. I know she has an equally eldritch baby, but it’s formless, so it doesn’t bother me that much. Dark Souls 1 ll Dark Souls 2 SOTFS ll Dark Souls 3

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toukenramblings · 4 years ago

Text

NSFW Headcanons: Buzen Gou, Matsui Gou, Samidare Gou

A continuation of these headcanons I made, but nsfw, fufufufu (^ω~)

Warnings: NSFW, ALL OF DAT SHIT IS NSFW

Buzen Gou

Remember when i said that Buzen’s legs are nice? OH dude this man is BUILT. He has slightly above average build (not like Tonborkiri for example) but it’s obvious he has muscle on him. And he adores showing it off to you and you alone!!! Can and will take off his shirt in the middle of a run/walk with you just to make you flush and stare.

His legs are so fucking nice man, thick from running all of the time and muscly but not too much. But you know what you could do with those thicc thighs? Mark them up with hickies. Will show them off on his runs if it’s hot outside. Sure Buzen will flush for a moment before smiling, “Yeah, I think they’re nice.” He would say, proud of them.

He also has a nice ass, change my MIND. Gets super embarrassed if you slap his ass, or he is straddling your lap and you use his ass to pull his closer hehehehehe.

Buzen is kinda loud in bed, not UBER loud but enough to hear it within the confines of the room and have it bounce off of the walls. He does love it when you are loud though!

Oh dude Buzen is not above teasing in public, most often happening on your runs together. Will suddenly claim it’s hot and then take off his shirt with a wink, “Like what you see, love?” and sure he’ll put it back on in the citadel but he kNOWS. Also going back to his nice ass, can and will wear pants to show it off. He is confident about his form for sure.

He can’t handle it if you tease him back though, he tries, he swear he’s tougher than this. But the minute you try to tease him back, he has to retrain himself and remind himself he’s in public before trying to fuck you into some kinda surface.

Buzen by default is a switch who is comfortable with either role. Bottom? Top? As long as he and you are connected by this sexual intimacy, he is happy! His favorite places to kiss are your lips and your thighs though, marking yours up just like how you do his! A taste of your own medicine!!! Can and will be found between your legs all day if he must.

There are times when he chuckles or laughs during sex, going back to the ticklishness of him. He can’t help it! Sometimes it’s during a serious heated moment but sometimes he let out a small giggle, amazed at the fact you two are doing this – the more likely you two are to be found out that you two are doing the do, the more giggles will come.

BuBu’s sex drive is rather spontaneous and in a way, it’s obvious to tell whenever he wants to do the do. His eyes will wander over your form yes but it’s his touches that give him away. A sideways hug is found with his fingers ghosting over your form, kisses turn more passionate, and if he’s feeling bold enough he’ll press a kiss to the side of your neck in public.

Body worship is oh so prevalent here, even more so if you can worship the body that BuBu has. Run your tongue into the hip of his hips, kiss his scars, trace his veins, massage his muscles, oh man he’ll melt under your touch. Buzen is the same to you, equal body worship here!

Buzen’s weak points are his inner thighs, yes, but also the nip of his neck behind his ear. He loves it when you whisper naughty things into his ears and you may hear the slightest of growls back, “Do not test me love, I wonder how long you can handle it until we get back to our room, hm?”

Buzen adores it when he can hold your hips when you are riding him, the view is almost enough to make him cum.

He won’t lie that he hasn’t thought about shower sex, but will only try it with you if you want. Besides, he loves lil intimate showers with you, sexual or not!

Massages always turn out to be sexy fun times anyway, knowing him. One minute he’s rubbing your shoulders and the next they’re gliding down and WHOOPS THERE GOES THE CLOTHES.

Aftercare means there’s always a bottle of water present and clean up is mandatory. After that he becomes the big spoon of your dreams, murmuring praises into your ears and rocking you to sleep.

Matsui Gou

It takes a long time before Matsui is ready for sexual intimacy. He already has trouble within the confines of your relationship, thinking of whether or not he’s good enough for you. The first time you have sex together is slow and awkward and clumsy. Yes you two have talked about this many times but Matsui is a very slow and cautious person. His fingers against your skin are oh so gentle, kisses pressed up and down your form. No matter who is on top or who is on the bottom, Matsui wants to ensure that you are feeling good.

There are times when he will stop and question it, “Are you feeling good?” “Does this hurt? Please let me know.” And he shows nothing but concern for you! God forbid him from hurting you.

Matsui has a pretty low sex drive, feeling much more comfy with romantic intimacy than sexual intimacy more than anything. That isn’t to say he isn’t willing to have sex with you! He does, it just takes him a while to get enough confidence.

And then there’s the body worship. Oh Matsui will want nothing more than to show you how much he loves you. His hand will always be in yours, and if it isn’t damn right he’s going to search for it. Hand kisses are mandatory between you during sex, and maybe sucking each other’s fingers. Oh Matsui will almost die from a nosebleed.

·Matsui does frequent this one sex shop to find suitable lingerie for the two of you. Sometimes it may be matching or sometimes it’s a bit of a surprise. He tends to bring extra tissues with him though in case his nose begins to bleed. He prefers picking out things that have nice material that is comfortable, and suits your body/skin tone. If he does wear something scandalous under his clothing it’s something to compliment himself or you! Gods help him if he catches even a glimpse of something naughty under your clothing; he’s found dead on the floor.

When Matsui wants to be sexually intimate, he’ll come up to you with a shy smile and a flushed face, and tell you straight up that he wants to be intimate with you. Of course it’s in private when it tells it to you.

Matsui doesn’t mind marking you but always seems to treat you like glass. His kisses are gentle and will hesitant to do anything to make you bleed. Gods forbid that! If he worries about himself biting you, he will ask for you to lead and thus will practically gag himself. He adores it when you mark him though, and sure he may try to hide it under his clothing but everyone knows with his red face and how he’s constantly adjusting his clothing in a mirror.

Oh sweet Matsui has such a big ol praise kink. He is doing nothing but murmuring the sweetest of words against your skin. “You look so beautiful right now, I wish you could see the way I see you.” “It is alright, my love, I have you. Come here, let me touch you a little more, yes?” “P-Please…will you mark me more? Let the others know that I am yours?”

Ain’t nothing more sexy than consent as he asks for permission to remove items or touch certain parts of your body. If you do the same to him, he’ll be happy.

What gets him riled up the most is pulling him by his collar to kiss him, depending on who is sitting on who’s lap at the time. His hands on your hips, rubbing soothing circles into them.

Matsui is rarely ever rough. The only time he is rough is when your hips snap together during sex, his hands gripping your hips and careful to never break skin.

Despite how soft Matsui is, there are times that if you push his buttons enough, Matsui turns out to be rather intense. This normally involves casually showing off hints of lingerie under your clothing, have your hands glide over his body when no one is looking, whispering sweet nothings into his ears and sometimes full on trapping him against a surface, straddling his hips. A switch will almost be flipped within his mind and soon he flips you two over with a smirk dancing on his lips. “Are you sure you want to play this game with me?”

Matsui is a bottom leaning switch, but again it doesn’t matter much to him who is on top and who is on the bottom. He’s just happy being connected with you like this. That being said, don’t be surprised if he suddenly wants to switch things around outta nowhere. He is also rather quiet in bed.

Toys are a maybe? It’ll be further on down the line of your relationship.

After care consists of Matsui rubbing your sore body, with whispers of, “Are you alright? I didn’t harm you right?” “Did I hurt you? I apologize.” Half of it are apologies and other times it’s just him telling you how good you did, or if he did good. He just wants to be praised, okay????

Samidare Gou

Marking. Oh this man is very much into marking his territory. Of course he’ll be giving you hickies everywhere he can! No stopping him here! Why would he stop when he wants to show the world that you belong to him???? Can and will show off his own marks if he must. He will be proud of them after all!

Samidare is probably one of the more feral of his brothers, next to Murakumo. There will be growls and groans when he is having sex, loud and proud, and you have to keep him quiet, gags or mouth or fingers. Take your pick.

Samidare is a service top. He won’t mind who is what role and he’s pretty fluid and ready to adjust to whatever role you will assign to him, but Samidare on top is something else. His fingers will leave marks on your skin, and will not hesitate to make you scream his name.

It’s rather easy to see if Samidare is in the mood. He becomes more protective and possessive of you around the other TouDan, growling at anyone and hugging you from behind. His hands ghosting over your form, and his favorite neck and shoulder kisses linger for far more longer than they normally do. In fact, they might start trailing upward to your ear to whisper something into them, or downwards to make a map of stars upon the expanse of your back.

It’s not that Samidare has a high sex drive or anything, it ebbs and flows with the wind. There are times when he’s happy just to kiss you and then there are times when he wants to fuck you into the nearest surface and make you beg.

Speaking of begging, he is very much into that. Flip the roles, make him beg for your touch. It’s delicious I swear.

Oh Samidare lives for praise. Praising him makes his cock twitch in longing and him to lean into your touches, soft whimpers whenever you tell him how much of a good boy he is. Because he is in fact, a good boi.

Samidare has a pretty good nose, and knows your scent very well. So uh, don’t be surprised if he steals an article of clothing from you and you find him jerking it off to your scent.

Also loves it when he goes down on you and you pull on his hair. There is this guttural growl that leaves his throat and his eyes will glance upwards almost begging you to do it again.

Don’t tease Samidare in public unless you want to play with fire. How dare you press up against him like this, playing at his own game. Be careful dear, you might find yourself on top of your desk, clothes ripped to shreds and Samidare overstimulating you to no end.

Yes he’s also into overstim and orgasm denial, will abuse these as he sees fit.

Breeding kink? Maybe?

Oh dude this man has a bit of a thing for your hands. Pet him, force him to suck on your fingers and call him a good boy. He’ll love it.

Does he have a fave position? Doggy style? Maybe. MIssionary? Maybe. You riding on top of him? Y ES

Aftercare is nothing but cuddles, he wants to hold you close man. Sure you two will clean up but Samidare is ready to knock tf oUT.

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baekhvuns · 4 years ago

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I just read your “ateez as dad’s” reaction, and it was so adorable that could we see the members of bts as Dad’s?? thank you!!

bangtan reactions ; requested

。。。bangtan as dad's ( this is definitely my favourite type of reactions to do )

── kim seokjin ;

imagine him making his kids sit on his broad ass shoulders while they play with his chocolate brown hair.

his kids getting his worldwide handsome looks from the minute they pop out the womb.

he’s a sag, we know his kids be the best dressed.

omg imagine when his kids grow old, and he’s teaching his daughter how to drive, he’ll be so soft with her, “nooo, take the right—yes yes good job!”

and then when he’s with his son, the asian dad comes out. “aY, WATCH YOUR SPEED— OHMYGOD DID YOU JUST RUN A RED LIGHT?”

“dad, the light was green.”

“YOU JUST RAN A LIGHT, YOU IDIOT!” smacks his kid on the head.

i think when as his kids grow older, the more funny jin gets, random dad jokes being thrown around.

imagine getting ready for a wedding event or some party, and he’s yelling that he’s starting the car when he’s sitting on the bed with his phone scrolling through the army cafe.

── kim namjoon ;

man, i don’t even know (this is too soft)

best dad, wbk (i think it’s a leader thing, all leaders in kpop, would be such amazing dad’s)

buys his kids magical and deep meaning story books that he reads to them every night before bed.

he finally put the baby shoes he bought to a proper use, and then buys every single colour in it because his kid really liked them.

imagine joon, in his tux with glasses (the fit he wore to grammy’s) while he’s holding his son while standing tall and the media gushes over how adorable the pair is. crying

his kid holding one of his fingers while walking down the streets or the red carpet while wobbling on their feets.

“dada?” his kid calls for him while he’s in his office, he pauses and smiles, waving his kid to come over and places them on the table. while he writes songs, his kid plays with either his hair or the jewelry he was wearing.

definitely as his kids grow older he gets a bit stricter, cause he has his moments here and there.

when it’s time for his kids looking for girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s, he’ll have the talk with them and give them advice while walking back and forth like a lecturer.

── min yoongi ;

he’d be the sweetest dad ever, 🥺

calls his kids his angels, imagine his kids get his gummy smile (I WOULD DIE)

imagine yoongs buying his kids small little bucket hats that cover their entire faces and he just takes selfies with them and posts it on the army cafe with the caption, “look at my angels, army.”

i think he’d be a very open minded dad, although he’s on the quieter side many would think he’s really strict and stern kinda like a sergeant.

but in reality he’s a dad who gives his those ticklish kisses when someone puts their face in the kids stomach (ifykwim) and they’d fall into a giggly mess.

whoever hurts his kids, better start running, whether it be teachers or some random kids on the block or heck even the “fans”

no one hurts his family, he’ll work in quietness and place a lawsuit on the people who hurt them.

agustd mixtapes would include a song that would be titled the birthdate of his first born as a present to them and army. as well as have a separate song for his kids titled ‘my one and only’

as his kids grow older and his daughter introduces her boyfriend to him, i think we all know the poor young man would be scared shitless of the agustd.

“if you want to date my daughter, rap better than me.”

yeah, goodluck.

── jung hoseok ;

get ready for a very adventurous dad,

wakes his kid early mornings for random trips down by the bay, all while they whine and he stands there in his dad sandals grinning proudly.

jiwoo would spoil the shit out of hobi’s kids, his kids would be dressed in those pretty aesthetic outfits.

he makes them smol little rainbow bracelets and puts them around their little baby wrists. 🥺

always has his kid propped up on his hip, whenever he dances or shows other trainees and teaches them how to do certain moves, his kids watch him with bright shiny eyes.

the trainees awe at his kids, omg imagine his kids bopping their heads to the beat while clapping their hands like dolphins while hobi dances.

his kids would be dance prodigy’s, i said what i said.

matching outfits with his lil babies !! imagine hope comes home and finds his kid playing with his colourful glasses with his shirt over their heads, softly giggling 🥺

── park jimin ;

ma’am, i will tell you, he would be the strictest dad in bangtan.

i think we all watched that hello counsellor episode where he was angry at the boy who put his dolls before his family.

he’d be a great dad, of course, he loves kids and would do anything for his own. but of course, he’d be on a stricter side.

i see him constantly comparing his pinky finger with his little kids because he finally has someone who’s pinky fingers aren’t bigger than his.

his relaxing time is whenever his kids are close to him, imagine his kids hiding their faces in jimin’s neck because they’d be shy by the amount of people taking their photos and you would just hear the armies go, “AWWWWWW.” honestly same.

he’d bring his kids to bangtan’s concerts! as toddlers he would bring them out during the encore time while holding his hands and making them sing a little bit of bangtan’s songs in their baby voices 😩

as more adults, like around 8-9, he’d bring them to more music shows but send them home early because it’s bed time, but not before kissing them a goodnight.

let’s face it, his kids be the hottest. his kids would be listed as the hottest celebrity kids alongside many other’s and jimin would just boast about it everywhere.

he’s really proud of his kids and won’t hesitate to show it in private moments or even in public moments.

dance classes with dad jimin >>>

── kim taehyung ;

he loves kids, a lot.

he’d do anything for them, the friend dad, his kids would forever be his first priority.

watch his kids get the entirety of his facial genes which would automatically make them prettier / handsomer than 99% percent of the population.

takes his kids to art gallery’s around the world, shows his artistic side to his kids who also enjoy.

painting with his kids would be his favourite time of the day, imagine his kids little fingers doing finger painting and showing it off to tae who would be more than proud and start clapping loudly.

tae’s big hands would cradle his babies faces and squish their cheeks as they fall into fits of giggles, tae’s heart just swells whenever he hears his kids laugh.

bro honestly, tae’s treated like a president, his kids would like the first kids of the country, constant headlines of tae and his kids holding hands would go viral while we all suffer bc we could never 🙃

so, uh, if you mess with his family, consider yourself done, after all he’s the kim taehyung.

as much as he’s proud of his kids, he would be secretive about his private life, as in he wouldn’t want to expose his kids to the world of being a celebrity and being famous beyond.

but imagine, the day he introduces his kids to the world (idk but i’m seeing his son) while wearing a nice tux with black hair, one hand in his pocket while the other over his son’s shoulders.

people would be shocked because his kid is the exact copy of him, but we would be shocked because another kim taehyung is born.

── jeon jungkook ;

welcome to world of wholesomeness, your stay would be making you uwu a lot.

imagine his kids playing with kooks long hair and he lets them hairstyle it however they want. with pretty pink rubber bands

hIS KIDS WILL GET HIS BUNNY TEETH OR WE RIOTING.

his (idk but i’m seeing a son again) son would have his shiny eyes and bunny teeth, overall would be so adorable that kook would have a heart attack whenever his baby would look at him.

imagine you coming home and seeing both your kids sleeping on him, one over his chest while the other his sprawled over his stomach, and you hear the soft snoring of the three of them echoing around the room.

takes candid pictures of his kids whenever they’re having fun in the playground or at road trips, omg imagine him and his kids singing singing to songs while kook drives down the pretty road.

whenever a bangtan song comes on ten radio his kids would start screaming and kook would be smiling all brightly while glancing at them through the mirror while shouting the lyrics himself.

writes songs for his kids, his lullabies would be heavenly.

i also think he’d be a strict dad, after jimin, i think he’ll take on that position.

only when they are slightly older, because kids make mistakes and kook will take it to his responsibility to teach them the right things and to repeat what’s the righteous.

he would be more stricter towards his sons while being more favourable towards his daughters because they got his eyes and he can’t ever say no to them.

no, but he would be great friends with his son, they would play almost any sports together, whether it be online or in person.

really tries his best to be the best dad for his kids and no matter what happens he’ll always be by their side.

#✉️ : ask #this was so cute <3 #bts reactions #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #kpop reactions #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts requests

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morimallow · 4 years ago

Note

Hi hiiii. This is my first time requesting but... would you mind writing Kita's NSFW Alphabet? MY MAN DESERVES THE HYPE ;) Thank youuuu <3

I didn't proof read this so feel free to correct any of my mistakes.

I'm so sorry I didn't make this GN, it's so hard to go into detail. 😥

NSFW Alphabet (Kita Shinsuke)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

King of aftercare. This guy won't leave you unattended. He'll draw a nice warm bath for you. If he's feeling it, he'd take a bath with you. Gives you a body massage, which usually leads to another set of rounds, when he was extra rough that day. Will whisper that you did good taking him in, you won't even know if he's praising you or teasing you. Every thing he does for aftercare just makes you wanna have sex with him all over again.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his arms and back because that's where you usually hook on for support which also means he likes you marking him. He wouldn't even care if someone saw your scratch marks, he's low-key showing you off. He likes the way you grip on him like he's your only source of strength. He doesn't have a favorite part of your body though because that's all you. It's all his, you're all his. Why would he want a favorite? He loves every inch of your body and makes sure they receive equal attention.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This guy wears condoms. Cleanliness. To avoid unwanted pregnancy. Cum? Straight to the condom. Sometimes when he's close, he'd pull out his dick, remove the condom and cum on you while his fingers do wonders to your hole. He does it raw with you sometimes ─ either you insisted on doing it and after asking if you’re sure many times, he’d comply or if he’s extra horny and he’s sure you’re on a safe day and on your pills.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

His left ear is extra sensitive and he likes it when you nibble on it and suck on the area behind it. He doesn't know you've figured it out, he just thinks it's your favorite spot to suck on.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

At first, since he solely relied on knowledge on paper and sites, he tested those out and it came out bad. He used to read sex articles and stuff found on the internet. He’s intelligent enough to know vaginas don’t smell like roses and taste like sweet candy as they described them to be. He then started to listen to the twins’ conversations and eventually got caught up in those said conversations. You won’t change my mind that they exchange sex tips and tricks. Kita came to be their master or something. His dick kind of makes up for his lack of techniques and such during sex but still! He pleasures you. He does his absolute best to make you feel good. He asks you if you want him to go deeper, if you want him to thrust harder. He'd probably do anything and everything you want him to do as long as you're pleased.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Side fuck because he doesn't skip leg day. /j

Yes, side fuck — second to missionary. The side fuck but not really…? God, I hate this, I don’t know what it’s called. Basically, he’s on his side and you’re lying on your back. The first time he did you in this position, he had leg cramps and it was extremely painful but he enjoys this position nevertheless. He likes that you’re so close to his body, that he can see how your hole devours his cock, and of course, your lips are so close to him he can just turn your moans into heavy breaths in his mouth.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He takes everything seriously and, of course, this isn’t an exception. Okay, so, his grannyma tells him someone's always watching but he stopped caring. He doesn't get nervous about things he does regularly, on a daily basis. But y'all don't have sex daily (who does tho?), so he's kinda nervous and giddy (he doesn’t show it). His top priority is to make you feel good always. He’d usually whisper to your ear some lines that go like, “you’re squeezing me so tight, I won’t go anywhere, I’m all yours, baby” without knowing this turns you on so fucking much.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Having black and white pubes would be weird so I'm saying it's black.. and thick. The aesthetic kind of thick (LOL, WHAT?). Okay, he's clean. He doesn't shave it fully but trims it every month because he knows the benefits of keeping your pubes. Neat guy, neat privates.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Kita showers you with compliments and words of assurance but it always comes out as dirty talk? He’d say you’re so good ─ that he wants to come inside you so bad because you’re just begging for him to do so with how you squeeze him so tight. But then again, the way he whispers those three words turns you on more than any other thing he had said. His hands never leave your body. He doesn't seem like the possessive type but he want you to remember his touches.. and only his. He won't grip the sheets or the headboard whenever he pounds into you. He places his hands on your cheeks, neck, your waist. He pulls you close and moans in your mouth as he comes. Always.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Believe me, he doesn’t jack off that often. It’s not because of what his granny says that someone’s always watching him but because he knows you’d come to him and you’d come for him. When you’re far away from each other, he can’t help but miss you and your touch and that’s where his trusty right hand comes into play. He always calls you when he jacks off. If you’re not available, he’d leave a voicemail so just be careful not listening to it in public.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise kink but reverse? LMAO, is this a thing? He likes it when he praises someone during sex, he likes the mewls coming out of your mouth whenever he calls you a good girl.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He likes to do it on the bed because a.) you’re both comfortable and b.) unlimited sex positions. He likes the way you grip on the bedsheets, the way your heels dig onto the mattress, how he can feel your warmth everywhere. The bathroom is another thing. He likes the coldness of it and the only source of heat is each other’s body, he likes the way you make lewd faces when he fucks you in front of the bathroom mirror, when he eats you out while sitting on the toilet and how intimate you get under the running water.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He gets harder even more that it hurts not to come inside your cunt when you try your best to not let out moans because his granny might hear you next door so he asks you if you if he can and you’d nod your head frantically because the way his cock throbs inside you as he comes makes you think that your hole was made for him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He kind of likes spanking you but caning is just a no-go.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Did you expect this? He prefers giving. I mean, come on, he solely relied on porn clips which are far from real sex and his performance was just a little below average before so he likes to think that giving the best oral to his current partner is an apology to what his previous partner/s had/have suffered but this doesn’t mean he thinks of someone else during sex. It’s just that… Fuck it, that’s it. He prefers giving.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This depends on the mood and occasion. I mean, I personally think people have the other side hidden in their deepest desires, they just didn’t find the person to be with yet but in you and Kita’s case, you communicate very well. You want him to go hard and fast? He’d say okay. You want to be slow and sensual? He’d start off with a sweet and passionate kiss.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He thinks it’s convenient and risky but hot. You guys don’t do this often though because what’s worse than getting horny in public and Kita locking you in a cubicle to calm yourself down because he suspected this would just be a wholesome date? But you have sex every once in a while, in their backyard garden and that was wonderful.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn’t usually ride with you whenever you suggest something in the sexual aspect because he sticks to what he knows and he only believes that certain things are possible when a witness or trusted articles support the claims. You’d think he just doesn’t want to do things with you but he’s actually considering your likes and dislikes. He, for sure, knows what you’d like and dislike because he closely keeps an eye on you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for two to four rounds in average. How long it lasts usually depends on you because he knows he can handle himself well, thrusting into you nonstop.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t like toys and doesn’t understand why it doesn’t make him feel things like how they described it to be in the articles he had read before when you guys tried toys but you insisted in giving him a cock ring just in case he wants to wait for you to call back when he masturbates.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kita usually doesn’t tease you although he’s already kind of teasing you when he compliments you during sex but he does once in a while. He’d delay your orgasm as much as he can control himself not to ram into you faster and harder when he knows your horniness is out of the meter and whenever he senses you want some kind of teasing. How he knows when you’re like that? He says that’s his sixth sense.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Kita Shinsuke never fails to let out a loud moan when he comes, it’s literally the best thing you heard from him. It’s hot and deep just like how his dick is inside you. If he was going rough, you’d probably hear more of those moans, every spurt of cum from his dick makes him emit more of his beautiful sound.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He sleeps naked. Send tweet.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His dick is so pink and pretty ─ the best shades of nude and rose, I’m not even kidding. He takes care of his body so much and you both take care of his dick. A six-inch dick is good enough, no? his biceps are everything, arms so strong he can fuck you standing for a long time.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is on the average level. He’d have sex with you if you want to, you’d have sex with him if he wants to because somehow, your desires always match so it’s like your minds are saying you want to have sex… at the same time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As the king of aftercare, he only sleeps when you're taken care of already, when you're neatly tucked against him. Letting his lips curve into a smile, he can only then go to sleep.

M. List

#kita shinsuke #shinsuke kita #kita x reader #kita x y/n #character alphabet #kita headcanons #hq kita #hq headcanons #inarizaki

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wreckofawriter · 5 years ago

Text

We'll Leave This All Behind

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: mentions blood, kinda angsty (dw; happy ending)

Summary: You were raised the same as Draco you go through the same hell, maybe it wont be so lonely together

A/n: Me: I'm so sick of Harry Potter Me 10secs later: I'm in love with Draco Malfoy again. I got feels and wrote this in 2 hours, totally unplanned. I hope you guys like it! Btw pls request AUs, they are so much fun to write.

Link for AU requests

You could feel yourself falling apart, it was agonizingly slow like each day a layer of who you were was stripped away. You never quite realized how alone you really were until you got to Hogwarts. You knew people, but you had no friends. Your parents didn’t love you, they loved your accomplishments. When you got to the warmly lit grand hall and looked around at all the smiling faces it made you realize that not everyone felt like you. It made you realize that some people were actually genuinely happy, not smiling for a camera but smiling because they wanted to. Because they felt like it. Knowing that made you hate them that much more.

Your first year in Hogwarts was spent alone. You sat alone, you ate alone, you studied alone, you were alone. You didn’t know how to change that and you weren’t quite sure if you wanted to. When you were alone you knew what was going on. You knew what was going to happen, there were no surprises, no skeletons in a closet that you didn’t know about. Your own was filled to the ceiling but you weren’t scared of them anymore. You were taught that if you were scared you would die.

You met Draco Malfoy through some ball when you were five years old, you still didn’t smile much, even then. Draco had called you evil and ran from you. You hadn’t been hurt by it, kids did it most of the time. You had made friends with a young girl once but your mother had seen you and locked you in your closet for three days for playing with a muggle. You didn’t try anymore.

Draco was dreadfully scared of you as a child. He had heard his mother and father compare their methods of a discipline to your parents to reassure him of their own kindness. The things he heard were done to you were like nothing he had ever heard of before. They were inhuman.

When he saw you at Hogwarts he had been sure you would be evil and he was horrified, not that he would ever admit it. But by his fourth year, he began to see you as less of a demon and more of an ally. He knew what you were going to do as you got older and he knew he would have to do the same no matter how much he tried to push it to the back of mind.

In fifth-year things got worse for Draco Malfoy. He couldn’t push things away anymore. He was facing them soon and he was scared. So dreadfully scared. That’s when he began to see you as a friend.

Draco approached you one night looking unsure, almost fearful of you despite the inches he held over you. You glanced up at him, your back stiff as a bored, “Draco.”

You never called him by his last name. He wondered if you knew how much he hated it or if you simply didn’t respect him.

“Y/n.” He responded. You blinked owlishly at him the sound of rain on the stained glass windows of the small stairwell seemed to echo around you.

“Do you have something you would like to speak to me about?” You asked, peering straight at him. But that wasn’t right. You were looking through him.

“I don’t know,” Draco answered honestly, his heart thumping from nerves. You were so strange.

You gave a curt nod, “You’re scared.” your voice was suddenly soft, almost a whisper.

Draco wasn’t sure how to respond. He had been wrong you looked not at him, not through him but into him. You could see who he was, he marveled. He supposed it was like looking in a distorted mirror and knowing what looked back didn’t look the same, but it was you.

“Aren’t you?” He asked, the stairway seemed to darken.

“I don’t think so.” You said. “I don’t think I’m scared.”

Draco wasn’t surprised, he wondered if you felt anything but he knew that was silly, of course, you did. You were just better at hiding it.

“You shouldn’t be scared Draco.” You murmured, your eyes had lost the sharpness they held moments before, “You’ll be okay.”

You had then shouldered past him and as the sound of your expensive dress shoes echoed off the stone walls he wondered if he would be.

Draco got into the habit of sitting near you. He insisted on being with you at meals and in classes, he even began to study with you bringing chocolate frogs and expensive candies from America. He was slowly invading your lonely life.

You were studying in your common room late one night. You didn’t sleep much anymore, the darkness made you uncomfortable and nightmares haunted your young mind. Draco was always up with you, he had twin bags under his eyes which matched your own.

“Why are you here with me?” You asked suddenly, eyes leaving the textbook in front of you for the first time in an hour.

Draco looked up at you, “Because I’m terrible at Transfiguration.”

You shook your head and narrowed your eyes slightly, eyes that always softened when they landed on the blonde, “Why are you always here with me?”

The boy bit his lip, “Because you’re real.” He answered after a second too long.

“So are Zabini and Parkinson.” He was the only one you didn’t call by his last name.

Draco dropped his quill into the ink beside him, his eyes locked with yours, and just like yours did months ago in the stairwell he looked into you. “No, they aren’t. They pretend like everything is alright, like we’re normal. They’re fake.” There was a long pause and the fireplace let out a loud crack that sounded like a whip. “You don’t pretend.”

You cocked your head a bit, “I thought you liked pretending.”

“I used to.” He murmured, “But I don’t think I can anymore. I don’t want to be scared and when I pretended everything was okay I got scared when it wasn’t.”

You made no response, you looked almost like a statue - something a greek carved a thousand years ago, a greek who managed to make stone beautiful. But it wasn’t a greek, and they made beautiful into stone, not the other way around.

“Do you feel anything?” Draco wondered aloud, almost joking.

You let out a soft chuckle, “I’m angry Draco.” You smiled, “And sad. And lonely.” you licked your lips and Draco watched that stone around you break, a small crack forming as your eyes went glassy and a heartbreaking smile curved your lips. “But you know all about that.”

And he did.

Things got less lonely for the rest of the year. Draco watched as slowly the statue that you were peeled away, you still didn’t smile much but you talked more. You told him about things he sometimes wished he didn’t hear. He told you about his own misfortunes, about how his father had built a dungeon under his house and how he was getting a tattoo over the summer. You didn’t pity him as he was sure many would have. Instead, you nodded, you understood him, you understood what he was doing and why he was doing it. You were doing the same after all.

Summer was dreadful. You wrote letters to each other but it wasn’t enough. You found yourself needing Draco the way you had never needed anyone before. You had forgotten what it was like to be so utterly alone and you were no longer numb to the feeling.

When you came back to school Dumbledore pulled you both aside, calling the two of you into his office one evening. When you entered the room he wore a grim smile, one so fake you would practically smell its plastic.

“Hello y/n, Draco.” He spoke motioning for you to sit in front of his massive desk on two matching wooden chairs. You did as told folding your robes beneath you as Draco tucked the books he was holding for you on his lap.

“Yes, professor?” You asked, you didn’t smile like he thought you might, you didn’t pretend even now.

“I’m sure you have a sense of why I called you up here.” He responded, his smile dropped and replaced with a much more real frown.

“I could take a guess.” You responded, Draco still didn’t speak.

The headmaster turned his gaze to focus solely on you, his eyes were trying to pick you apart and when he glanced away Draco realized he had failed

“I know you two are in danger.” The man said, “I am not oblivious to what goes on at your homes. And while I am sure I could never fully understand what you’re going through I wish to help.” His voice was soft, “You know as well as I that dark forces are trying to infiltrate this castle at this very moment and I need you both to remember, their greatest weapon is no spell at all but you, children.”

Draco could feel the elderly man’s eyes move to him and he tipped his chin to meet them hoping his gaze was as blank as yours.

You waited a few more moments before speaking, “You’re right professor.” You said and Draco’s eyes widened, “You could never understand what we go through.” Your words were bitter, “And we are their greatest weapon.”

Dumbledore looked defeated as he looked over his half-moon spectacles at you, he seemed to age ten years before your eyes as you sat with your legs folded, gaze unbreaking.

“Do you have anything else to say or could we get back to our common room?” Draco swore the man almost flinched as you stood.

“You are free to go.” He mumbled and Draco stood to follow you, he was glad he hadn’t had to say a word. He wasn’t sure what he might have done.

You broke down that night. Tears poured from your eyes as you struggled to catch your breath. Draco was stunned when you let out the first sob, the common room was empty and it bounced off the silent stone walls. Your statue had finally crumbled to dust. Draco pulled you into him as you fought against his hold for a moment before leaning into his warmth. You stayed there for a while, tears wetting his shirt as you burred your head in his neck. When you pulled away your eyes were rimmed in red and swollen, your cheeks were blotchy and shining in the dim light.

“I need to get out of here Draco.” You whimpered to him, “I can’t kill someone, I can’t go back to my parents, I can’t face them.”

There was a pregnant silence, Draco could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he raised a hand to your cheek tucking a loose string of hair behind your ear and using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear.

“Let’s run away.” He offered, “From all of this, we could go together into the muggle world, maybe to Canada or America.”

You bit your lip so hard your teeth broke the skin, “We can’t.” choked back another cry, “We can’t Draco, I have to go through with this. We have to go through with this.”

“Why?” The Slytherin asked, “Why do we have to? We don’t owe anyone anything.”

Your gaze stiffened, “I do. I made promises I can’t break.”

Draco felt his momentary hope crumble, your gaze softened again, your hands wrapping around his neck as you pulled him towards you until your foreheads were resting against each other.

“I’m sorry Draco.” You whispered, “I’m so sorry.’ Your breath was hot on his face, your deep eyes peering into him through glass panes.

“Don’t be sorry.” He murmured his chin tilting upwards to capture your lips on his own. Your kiss was desperate, hungry. You felt his teeth graze your bottom lip as your bodies were pressed closer together by his grip on your waist. Your hands moved to his hair as you tumbled over, your back pressed into the leather couch, your legs wrapping around him. Draco’s lips wandered up to your cheeks where he left open-mouthed kisses which tasted bitter and salty, they trailed down to your neck where he bit lightly before finding your own again. He sucked your bottom lip between his teeth tasting the blood there before he plunged his tongue into your mouth.

When you finally pulled apart you were panting lightly, “We’ll leave when all this is over.” spoke between breaths. “We’ll leave this all behind.”

You choked back tears as you held your wand to your headmaster’s neck.

“I understand why you are doing this.” The man sighed, he wasn’t even putting up a fight. That made it so much worse.

“No, you don’t!” You sobbed, “You could never understand what it’s like. Never.”

Draco stood a few feet from you. His eyes were glassy, his own wand raised.

“That’s right y/n.” Bellatrix laughed, “This stupid old man could never know what it’s like for you, He could never help you.” She took a few steps toward you, her teeth were barred in a snarl, “Now kill him.”

You felt your throat close up, your eyes so thick with tears you could barely see, “I’m sorry.” You whimpered quietly, “I’m so sorry, I have to, if I don’t kill you he’ll kill me, I’m sorry.”

“Now y/n!” Bellatrix bellowed “Now!”

Your voice was raw and broken as you whipped your wand at the man, “Avada Kedavra!” green flashed through your blurry world and you stumbled backward not wanting to watch as he tumbled off the tower.

Draco snatched you by the shoulders, pulling him into his embrace as his aunt cackled. “It’s gonna be okay y/n/n, everything is going to be okay.” His sentence broke and you could feel his body shake, “We’re gonna leave soon. We’ll leave this all behind.”

You stood hand and hand, your palm had pebbles buried inside a layer of skin, your cheek burned from a cut which you could feel dripping blood off your chin. You stared across the ruins of what used to be your school at your classmates. You felt your mother beside you and your father behind you. Draco squeezed your hand and they disappeared. His whisper echoed in your mind. You would leave this soon. You would leave this all behind.

A shout broke you from your trance, you watched as Harry Potter rolled from Hagrid’s arms and felt Draco drop your hand.

“Potter!” He shouted and he broke out running towards him, you took after him as he threw his wand at the boy and a barrage of spells were shot at you.

“Protego!” You shouted shielding you and Draco as red and green sparks danced around you. Suddenly your arm was snatched and you turned to meet your mother’s gaze but before any words could be spoken she was hit by a blue light and scent hurdling backward. You turned to look at Hermione Granger who had her wand held up. You nodded at the girl in a silent thank you before turning your attention back to the blonde who suddenly tackled you to the ground. Something whizzed by your cheek and you hit the ground with a thump.

Draco pulled you to your feet and you both sprinted for the castle gates. Your legs caught just short of the entrance and you tumbled downwards dropping Draco’s hand only be hulled back up and thrown backward. You heard a shout and turned as a death eater snatched Draco and slammed him onto the ground.

“Avada Kedavra!” You shouted and the man flew backward into a limp pile. You snatched Dracos robes pulling him upwards and into the castle.

You tumbled onto him, gasping for breath as your heart sped in your chest. “Draco?” You asked quietly, shouts seeming so far away now.

His eyes fluttered open, his neck had a wide scratch down the side, his face was covered in soot and dust, rubble had sliced open his pale skin just below his left eye. You sobbed tears stinging your cut and mixing with blood before dripping off your nose and onto his cheek.

“I’m okay.” He mumbled, “I’m okay, please don’t cry.”

You pressed your forehead into his chest still sobbing as you fisted his singed shirt.

“Y/n.” His voice brought you back up to his eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whimpered, leaning down to meet his lips. They were chapped and rough, your own were split and all you could taste was blood and salt but that was okay. It was okay because you would be gone. You could leave soon. You could leave this all behind.

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