#but man i really haven't been able to stop thinking about harry......

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

Title: "but hope's not always a course of action, is it?" Fandom: Midst (Podcast) Categories: G, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply, Complete Word Count: 4061 Characters: Sherman Guthrie, Hieronymus Loxlee | Harry

Of all the people Sherman Guthrie might have expected to walk into the hotel room that's become his prison cell, the ex-boyfriend he hasn't seen in over ten years was pretty near the bottom of the list. He especially wasn’t expecting the new name or the astronomical amount of Valor. Still, it might be the first lucky break Sherman's had all week. And it is sort of nice to see him again.

(I could NOT get the missing scene from the end of s2e7 where Harry just walked in to talk to Sherman out of my head. so i wrote it <3)

[slaaverin]

2024 Drarry Recs Wrap Up

Since the year is ending, I thought I would make a little list of all the fics I bookmarked this year. I absolutely adored all of them. Please read them if you haven't and thank you to our wonderful authors!

Never Mind the Bollocks by @the-sinking-ship [E 188k]

If someone told Harry six months ago that by autumn he would be single, living on whisky and toast, and dancing the night away with Draco Malfoy, he would have told them to get their head checked. And yet, here he was.

Foreplay by @lqtraintracks [E 6k]

Getting a raging hard-on on the duelling room floor, pinned under Harry Potter’s sweaty body, is not how Draco saw his day going, but… Well, here he is.

Brief Encounter by @maraudersaffair [E 45k]

Harry was happy, goddammit; he’d gotten everything he wanted in life. Why then could he not stop thinking about Draco Malfoy?

The Usual by @aibidil [T 9k]

Harry finally tries the new magical coffee shop on Diagon Alley. A story in which Draco is Up To Something™ and Harry is going to get to the bottom of it, and to the bottom of that sixteen ounce to-go cup.

This fic is simply hilarious. Best laugh I had in years.

Of easy wind and downy flake by @starquestingfordrarry [E 14k]

It’s snowing in July, and it’s Malfoy’s fault. Or, the one where the house wants the boys to kiss.

Probationary Action by @toomuchplor [E 63k]

As part of the terms of the probationary contract, DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY shall submit for inspection his WAND on the last day of every month, such inspection to be carried out by a duly registered and fully qualified AUROR in the employ of the MINISTRY OF MAGIC, and such inspection to include a PRIORI INCANTATEM spell to ensure that no PROHIBITED MAGICS as heretofore described have been practised by the aforementioned probationer.

Rookie Moves by peu_a_peu [E 75k]

Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.

The Way You Say My Name by InnerLilith [E 5k]

In which Malfoy calls Harry pet names to get him flustered and riled up, and Harry gets flustered and riled up because he secretly likes it. The problem is that Malfoy is only teasing…or is he?

The Boy from the Piano Shop by @soliblomst [M 89k]

After going blind in a reckless attempt to avenge Ginny's death, Harry battles with severe depression. One day, he stumbles upon a quaint piano restoration shop in the heart of London and meets the owner, a kindly old man, and his introverted young apprentice, whose voice sounds strangely familiar. As Harry and Draco slowly reconnect through private piano lessons, the small workshop becomes Harry's refuge, offering him a glimmer of hope in a world without eyes. /Set five years after the Battle of Hogwarts/

HIGHLY recommend

Aletheia by @lazywonderlvnd [E 8k]

Draco finds out Daphne's been shagging Potter and it turns out it's really not that difficult to get a piece of her hair.

Too Good At Raising Hell by @the-sinking-ship [E 87k]

When Harry Potter walks into Draco’s nightclub looking like trouble, Draco can’t stop staring. He really ought to train his dick not to react so enthusiastically to red flags, but where would be the fun in that?

Say When by @lqtraintracks [E 24k]

When Auror Harry Potter is sent in undercover to determine if Draco Malfoy is laundering money through his BDSM club, will he be able to keep up the ruse and close the case? Or, more to the point, will he keep from falling in love?

Now I Know In Part by @dodgerkedavra [E 39k]

Harry Potter is the savior of the wizarding world. Draco Malfoy is a reformed Death Eater turned Ministry Curse-Breaker. Five years after the war, they're brought together by another mysterious curse.

Got Me Started by @itsphantasmagoria @kamaela [E 8k]

Malfoy said in a rush, “I don’t care about you.” “Uh, same?” was the only response Harry could come up with. Or: An unexpected partnership leads Harry and Draco to a sex club in Berlin. Harry doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

Raising Hell! by @wolfpants [E 21k]

Harry and Draco are sent undercover as a married couple to investigate a dodgy Muggle love cult. Something evil is lurking in Glastonbury… but to get to it, the reluctant partners must be initiated first. And this is, after all, a love cult…

The Superfluous Man by peu_a_peu [E 24k]

A child for Harry Potter is a miracle of magic. And it's the second act of Draco Malfoy's sorry little life.

your braids like a pattern by @hoko-onchi-writes [E 31k]

Harry soldiers on with the get-to-know you activity, noting each counsellor's interests and repeating their names. Harry’s eyes land on Malfoy. He’s the last counsellor in the circle. One blond eyebrow is arched, his smirky mouth turned up at the corners. That can’t be good. Harry clutches his clipboard; lets the edge of it dig into his skin. When did Malfoy’s hair get so long? It had only reached his chin the last time Harry saw him. “Counsellor Malfoy.” “Potter. Fancy seeing you here.” Malfoy has the same drawl, but it’s deeper. Richer. Like he has in fact grown in the intervening years. Harry taps his pencil against his clipboard. “Care to share your name and an interesting tidbit?” “So many of my tidbits are interesting.” Malfoy’s hair falls in loose, golden waves over his shoulders. Harry regrets the use of the word ‘tidbit’ with every fibre of his being, but he nods gamely at Malfoy. Whatever he says can’t be that bad. “I’m Draco Malfoy, and I was a teenage Death Eater.” ~~ Or: Harry runs a camp. Malfoy is the new counsellor, and he's driving Harry to the brink of insanity.

I live and breathe for this fic.

Nobody Pinch Me by @dracoladon @lazywonderlvnd [E 17k]

A mysteriously locked door keeps Harry and Draco trapped in the room where they're serving detention.

i knew you when i knew nothing by fiella [G 74k WIP]

The plan was simple. Absurd, but simple. He’d wait until Draco left for his usual late-night library run. When the coast was clear, Harry would sneak over to Draco’s side of the dorm. He wasn’t going to do anything. He wasn’t a complete lunatic. But Draco’s pillow? His blanket? That was fair game, wasn’t it? Just for a moment, just long enough to feel… Harry groaned, dragging his hands down his face. This is insane, he thought. I’m insane. But even as he berated himself, the plan solidified in his mind. Steal Draco Malfoy’s pillow. Or: In which Harry Potter loses a portion of his memories during the Battle of Hogwarts. When he returns for Eighth Year, he finds himself roomed with Draco Malfoy—a boy he doesn’t remember is supposed to be his enemy. And Draco Malfoy doesn’t know how to handle a Harry Potter who has forgotten to hate him.

Little Prince, Kneel by @coffeedrgn87 [E 478k]

Almost immediately after the war, Harry Potter took his godson and Andromeda and left England behind. He returned some five years later, changed, healed, and a completely different man altogether --- in every sense of the word, and then some. Now an extremely handsome bachelor in his late(ish) twenties, and with a promising career at the Ministry, he suddenly finds his life turned upside down after unexpectedly bumping into his former school nemesis, Draco Malfoy, Prosecutor Extraordinaire. Is Harry going to be able to stay away from Draco? Does he even want to? And exactly how will Draco react once he discovers how the Saviour prefers to spend his free time?

One word for this fic : YES!!!!

Thank you so much to everyone for an amazing year of drarry!

[harrysmimi]

Dress

Synopsis: One where Harry and YN go from Friends to lovers

More of my work

"Your girlfriend was here the other day and she said that you jumped out of window again, is that true?" Howard Stern asked Harry, "is that you have a bandage on your hand again?"

Harry looked at the man puzzled, even though he knew who the man was talking about. It was annoying for many different reasons, and most annoying one was that he doesn't have a girlfriend.

"YN, your girlfriend." Howard explained.

"She's my best friend, Howard," Harry corrected him, "and no, I almost jumped off a window but she stopped me. This is from injury. I, uhh, I was filming the new Eternals. Had a bit of a surgery done."

Harry was pissed the whole interview because Howard kept calling YN his girlfriend.

As much as he wants it to be true, he doesn't think it ever will be.

A bit of a back story, YN and Harry met at Brits back in 2019. She was there to perform and took home almost all of the major categories. He even presented her with one award himself. He had just gotten to see her perform at Grammy's where she took all major categories home as well. This time around he got to talk to her.

He has always been smitten by her since she first blew up in media. YN's former Miss World. And he didn't know why, he kept up with the pageant that year. To add to it, she was his favourite contestant even. So being able to present her with an achievement she deserved so much and worked so hard for was like a fan-boy moment for him.

He then got to meet her at the after party, they were joint to the hip that night. Their friendship only grew from there and so did his feelings for her. From infatuation it went to crush, to likeness and now he thinks he's really in love with her.

Good lord, they've been friends for almost four years! That's more than enough time for him to fall for her.

He also couldn't bring himself to speak his feelings to her. He can't live this anymore. Until, he went and fucked it all up.

No, quite literally.

They both drunkenly hooked up in a bathroom of his hotel room after her three time platinum album party two weeks ago ago. They both haven't talked since then. YN was called right in the morning urgently and none of them to sit down and talk about their drunk shenanigans.

To be fair, both of them are on tour. He shouldn't have been drinking when he had to go on tour in two days, and so did her when she had a show the very next day. From that very next, it have been interviews and shows for her, and constant travel for him.

He tried to call her but she's busy and when calls him back, he's busy. It isn't just working out and it's eating him inside out. He just want to talk to her that's all. He feels guilty because he remembers everything, he just hopes she does too and doesn't regret it in anyway.

......................................................................

He didn't get to talk to her for whole two weeks. He was on tour. She's busy with recording another one of her Album.

It's been nothing but small talk. And it's bothering him.

He gets to see her today on her last show. He just got in time when her sound check was almost done at the Madison Square Garden. She was checking the visuals of the show with her manager and her producer at the very back of the pit.

"Can we have Ezra's guitar a two notches louder, please?" She spoke in her sparkly microphone asking to make her lead guitarists sound a little bit up. "Yup that's perfect!" She handed the mic to producer and her manager had something to say to her in instant as Harry was about to approach her.

But YN quickly excused herself and sprinted towards him at the entrance, in five inch heels she wore to practice in for her performance. He still couldn't fathom how she can run in those, but his thoughts were put on a hault as she jumped up on him with her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his hips tightly, her face buried in his neck. If it weren't for his fast reflexes they would have both fallen down on the hard ground. But he wrapped one his arm around her waist and other under her bum to keep her supported. And before he could say anything else when she finally lifted her head up to look at him. Her lips were on his.

He was taken back. But so was she as she immediately pulled back again, "I'm so sorry!" He carefully placed her back on her feet, she stood almost as tall as him with her heels. He pulled in for another kiss with her hand behind her neck now. A sweet quick peck.

He didn't know he missed her so much that he remembered how she tasted. "I missed you so much!" She hugged him again when he pulled away this time.

"I missed you too, baby." He held her tightly close to her.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" She asked.

"No, I'm just confused." He admitted.

"YN come on, chop chop." YN's manager called for her interrupting Harry. She had no opening act for tonight as she had released a new album last night and she'll be performing for three hours and forty-five minutes there. With a new album, it only added to the pile of six other albums of her. But this was only her third English language album. They would start letting people in next ten minutes.

Her manager wasn't being rude, the lady loved Harry like her son. She just wants YN to be safe as people start coming in. And she also had to get ready.

"I'm sorry." She looked at him with sad puppy eyes, "I feel so bad we didn't even get to talk." She was on urge of crying.

"I know." He cooed, "it's okay. I promise. It's a big day, I don't want you to be anxious. I promise we'll sit down and talk after this, yeah?"

"Okay." She nodded.

"I'll be here when you come back, we're leaving together." He assured her. "Now give me a kiss before you go back." And she did.

Giving him a last squeeze she ran off to the backstage. Harry went back to the VIP standing area. He just hopes she's not anxious.

She tends to get very anxious and shut down. Full on pass out black when she's anxious. It's scary for him. Especially when he had encountered her that way not once but twice. He didn't realise YN's family had started to show up. She had a few relatives in New York plus her own parents and older and little siblings.

"You know there is going to be a secret guest tonight." One of the twin sister spoke.

"Yeah, she won't tell me about it!"

"Harry, do you know who that us?" The ten year old walked upto him, followed by her twin.

Harry has grown to love these kids, YN's affection and adoration for these little girls have rubbed off on him. Especially when that was all she talked about for first few months after they first become friends. She loved her little sisters with her life.

"I don't know darling, who do you think that is going to be?" He asked, holding both their hands back as he walked them to a side as the crew moved around.

He had a nice chat with both of them. They gave him the little birthday cards they made him as they missed his birthday this year. They ever made him a drawing each.

Now Harry wondered who the surprise guest is going to be. He can think of only three people at that time.

......................................................................

Harry danced with the twins as YN came on the stage well to halfway through the show. But the girls went to go get their sugary drinks leaving him alone.

He took the opportunity to admire her for that time. She wore a black dress sith puffy sleeves which hemed just above her knees, with her black tights and black heeled boots she wore earlier. The sweet heart neckline of her dress showed her collarbone, where he remembered leaving a very very in-your-face hickey drunkenly. Maybe she had covered it up or it might have healed.

Yeah, she might have covered it because her mother would kicked her and his ass at the same time. Her mother's very religious for context. And YN's mum is a softie but can be very intimidating.

It was a mother's day show. He wouldn't want YN's mum to be upset. Especially when he knows she have practically adopted him into her family. Maybe like a little lost puppy but she adores him.

It was complete one-eighty from her usually, grafic t-shirts and baggy jeans.

She looks gorgeous none the less. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her there. He shouldn't be looking at anyone else but it was obvious he's oogling at her. Just until the twins interrupted him offering him a Cool-aid.

The lights went down as YN finished her first Grammy winning song. Just a spot light on the elevator downstage.

Our secret moments in your crowded room

Taylor Swift herself rose up on the stage as she sung. Harry almost choked on his drink.

He thought YN only joked about bringing her girl crush who ironically is his ex on the stage with her. But she actually did it.

They got no idea about me and you

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

Taylor sang as she walked upto YN beaming. As YN sang the chorus.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

It felt theatrical, with YN's amazing band and insanely  talented background vocalists. With the most genius lyricist, and in YN's glory. It was truly magical. YN's sister were going feral on the side. Sobbing by now.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Both of the girls sang together. Taylor singing in beautiful harmonies with YN.

Then it hit him there. He froze as YN sung the next verse. Standing closer on the side of stage where he stood.

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

And he knew exactly what she was talking about. Not her words but they held different meaning for both of them now.

His fans already hated her enough, thinking she's using him for fame. But little did they knew, she's more known than he is. And the narrative can be flipped around on him by YN's fans who are double and scarier. But they never di that. Because of YN.

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

His jaw dropped for a moment. That's exactly what happened. It was nothing new for both of them to hang out, but this time she just felt like taking a bath. Harry supported her by running her a bath as she continued to get shit faced straight from a bottle of wine she picked up from the party.

He initiated it, in her defence. But she was as guilty as he he was.

Afterall, it takes two to Tango!

But it was also true, no one knew about their secret hang outs. They both practically lived together on their off months. Sharing a bed., Sharing their clothes, fighting over little disagreements then making up by bringing one another's favourite food. All of the cuddles all of the secrets they shared with one another, all of the vulnerable moments, which made their friendship that much stronger and every doubted like they every single detail about them.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

YN sang as Taylor joined her in.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Both the girls flirted with one another as they both sang the chorus outro.

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Taylor took on from here. YN stood there fangirling, singing the bridge her lung off without ber mic. The crowd was too loud so she blended right in.

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times

You could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies

You saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this ah, ha, ha, ha

YN sang the next line.

Say my name and everything just stops

And lights went down again. Pitche black. As the light came back on, Taylor's outfit was changed making the crowd go even more feral.

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

The girls had their best time singing together.

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

You made your mark on me, golden tattoo

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

And they ended the song singing one line at a time.

"Give it up for Doctor Taylor Swift everyone!" YN hyped up the crowd. Harry clapped and cheered as well. "Thank you so much for joining us here tonight. And thank you Taylor for joining us tonight. This took, so, so, so long to happen. Tonight is extra, extra special to me. Because it mother's day, and my Mummy is in the crowd."

The crowd cheered up, "and also we had to bring The Mother herself with us tonight." Taylor laughed as she grabbed her guitar from the crew member. "No seriously Taylor, this is my fangirl moment right here. And can't tell you how much this means to me. Have been you fan since I was seven, since Tim McGraw." YN grabbed her guitar well as the girls walked up to the middle stage on the catwalk. They both perched up their mic on the stand.

Taylor started strumming the guitar as she introduced her first ever song which gave boost to her career.

They both then sang more of her songs, like Clean, I Knew You Were Trouble, Delicate, and of course, Out Of The Wolds and Style.

Harry knew YN still wasn't going to leave his ass. She would tease him all the time. And it actually became reality tonight.

The show still went on until YN closes out with one of her party songs. And ran down the stage. Harry and YN's family was escorted backstage.

She was immediately greeted by her little sisters. And then her mum.

Harry stood back, mainly for two reasons, her family was going back home immediately and he was still scared of her mum. He promised her that they'll talk later anyway. Though it was super hard not to just kiss her right there.

YN bid her family bye as their car left. Her and Harry got into one car.

"That amazing. You killed it!" Harry hyped her up as she sat back and relaxed.

......................................................................

Back at YN's hotel room, the first thing she did was took off her boots as Harry shut the door behind him.

"Should I bring out the wine again?" He teased her and he pinned her against the wall.

"I don't think we need that right now." She answered, "I'm all sweaty stop."

"Like I haven't seen the worse of you." He scoffed but leaned down to button his mouth on hers in a delicate kiss, making her melt like an ice cube on a hot summer day. She now stood shorter than him with her heels off.

"I could really use a large pizza and a hot shower right now, please?" She suggested when he pulled away feeling her tummy growl.

"Yeah? I'll order us one." He offered as the walked into her room. "You want to put on our show?"

"No, I just want a quiet night." She shared as she picked out a change of clothes from her luggage. She was believer of not unpacking because she found it too tedious.

"Don't you want me to take off that dress of your." He walked up closer to her behind as he teased her. "Hey, is that my shirt?" Harry noticed making her take a run to the bathroom, "hey, come out here you little thief!" But the door was slammed on his face.

By the time YN was back from her shower, the fold had arrived. Harry ordered two pizzas for both of them and a few bottles of water and cut mixed fruits for dessert. He knows she isn't going to share because she gets so hungry after her shows as she doesn't like to eat before. And he was hungry too!

They both cuddled up in her bed under the sheets as it was getting quite cold. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He placed a kiss on her temple. "Do you want to talk about the night we had sex?"

"Yeah." She nodded taking a bite of her pizza. "Did it mean anything to you?"

"Everything." He admitted, "you?"

"Mhmm. I couldn't focus on anything after. I was so scared that you'd be mad because I had to run out." She shared.

"But you woke me up, didn't you?" She did. She did woke him up telling him that her manager and the tour manager had to talk to her about one of the band member falling sick, and they had to look for someone new for the night. It was urgent, and only YN knew who were those people, because the girl made connections everywhere she went.

YN's a completely different human when it some to her work and her personal life.

And then later he got called for work and things went down hill from there. At least for two weeks.

"I did but that still didn't help." She glanced at him once.

"Yeah? Tell me about it baby." He urged her gently. He wants to know how she feels too.

"No, how about you go first?"

"Okay." He admitted, "you know I'm going to be honest and tell you I've always been smitten by you." He let her eat in peace he spoke, she's listening to him he knows. And he does not lime to interrupt her eating, not wanting to trigger her in anyway. "The night we met and talked was a fangirl moment for me. I don't know when we came best friends and I fell for you. It was scary, you know how bad I had to keep these feelings to myself knowing I won't be able to, thinking I might loose one of my only closest best friend."

"Do you regret it?" She asked, finally looking up at him, "us having sex that night?"

"Gosh no, I could never!" He exclaimed softly as he rested his forehead on hers, "could never. I was dying to kiss you and you hold that way." He pulled back, "do you regret it."

"No!" She exclaimed as well, "I guess I have always been stupid because I don't even know when fell for you. I've known it for a long time. But I had the same fear."

"You did?"

"Hmm." She nodded and leaned back into cuddles with him.

"I'm so glad our feels are mutual here, because I love you so much, I don't know if I can go a day without you knowing that." He confessed.

"You're not going let me have cuddle in peace." She made a puppy face she lifted her head up to kiss him again, "I love you too! So much!"

He chuckled, "come back here." He pulled her in again. That's when he saw the fading hickey just above her right collarbone. The shirt wore was bug on him, it was pretty evident it was almost falling off of her shoulders.

They ate their late dinner in silence until they were done. Harry threw away the boxes in trash before she slipped back in bed with her. He made sure to bring the mixed fruits bowl with him.

"You full now?" He asked cautiously, "you want fruit for dessert?" She's been doing so well lately.

Harry had suggested she goes to therapy but she never felt like it, which, fair enough. He's been trying his best to offer her any help he can. And it's working. But he hopes one day she feels comfor enough to get some professional help.

"Oh I'd love to!" She nodded. He let her pick out her favourites and ate the rest. "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"What are we now?" She asked.

"Hmm..." He sounded again but as if he's thinking, "I think we should be Girlfriend bestie and Boyfriend bestie."

"You need to delete Tiktok and Instagram off your phone." YN laughed as she took a sip from her water.

"I'm serious, I want to be your boyfriend." He said, rather firmly.

"And I want to be your girlfriend." She mocked his tone earning a few soft laughs from him. He placed a firm kiss on her mouth.

"I love you."

"I love you."

Of course they had much more to talk about. But YN fell asleep on him there, holding onto him tight.

It's nothing new them, but Harry cherishes and savours each and every moments like these with her.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Y'all need to tell me how y'all are liking this. Feedback really gives me more motivation to improve and write more.

Also, I'm gonna go MIA for a next 3 days, that means there won't be any Saturday update hence, this early update.

And CEOrry last part will be up sometime next week. Hehe.

......................................................................

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[destinyc1020]

I think the point is that many Tom fans are tired. For example, Z has Dune, Euphoria and now The Drama lined up, while Tom only has Spider-Man. It's as if we're living in a loop. We have no confirmation of any other projects that look promising, absolutely nothing, not even a glimpse of a new character or an interesting movie. And I know he's just done a play, but it's not the same, not everyone was able to see the play.

For those of us who are fans and don't live in London, it's as if we've been waiting forever to see only Spider-Man again, and that's the frustrating part. 😩

And I hate the way most people on Twitter treat Tom and now we're back in the same place, with people comparing his career to all the other white boys in the industry today, but this time there's no defending it, because in a way they're not entirely wrong. 😭😭

I understand your frustration Anon, but try to keep things in perspective here:

True, we haven't seen Tom filming a big screen movie since SM NWH, but most of us saw NWH in Dec 2021.... AND in Jan 2022 (let's be honest, we didn't just see the movie once lol 😏), then, right after that, we had "Uncharted" come out in Feb 2022.

We also JUST had Tom's series TCR come out last summer, where we saw not just 2 hours of footage of Tom (like a regular movie), but 10 episodes of the series, which is essentially like 10 HOURS of Tom footage... which basically equals out to him being in five 2-hour length films.

He also decided to take a much-needed and much-deserved break last year, which was ironically also the same year that a LOT of actors weren't allowed to film anything or even promote any of their films due to all of the strikes going on. 🤷🏾‍♀️

He just did a play run in London, and while most of us didn't see it, he was still keeping busy, and he also has SM4 coming up. I'm not sure what's going on with the FA biopic and whether or not it's still going to be smthg he's attached to, but I'm excited to see him take on that role as well in the future if it comes to fruition! 😃

Sometimes, some of these filming projects take TIME. There are also a lot of factors going on bts beyond the actor's (and even director's) control, so if there's a delay, then an actor just pivots, just like Tom did, and goes on to do smthg else in the meantime! 🤷🏾‍♀️

We also don't know what Tom might have going on in his personal life. He might be deliberately slowing down on some projects because he has some things he wants to do on his own. I just learned about Tom and Harry supposedly starting up their own production company last week lol 😆 We really don't know all the facts.

Some actors go 2, 3, even 4 years in btwn a filming project. Leo is notorious for this. I don't see his fans complaining. 😕 They just know that he takes his time, and they will be there in theaters to support him when another one of his films come out. Maybe when Leo was younger he was doing more back-to-back roles, but he's now pushing 50 REAL hard, and maybe he's just slowing down a little, or wants to work with specific directors on very specific projects. He can afford to do that.

Same with Tom! 🤷🏾‍♀️ If he can afford to take long breaks in btwn roles, then that's fine! Spiderman is a very physical role. It can take a lot out of your body. Plus, he's doing a lot of his own stunts. He might need breaks in btwn from those types of roles.

Another thing.... STOP ✋🏾 🛑 comparing Tom to Zendaya. They are two different people. They are two different actors. Just because they are in a relationship with each other, it doesn't mean that they have to have the same exact career journey.

Zendaya's acting journey is her own. Tom's acting journey is his own. Fans don't need to compare them both. I've never seen people compare both actors in a romantic relationship with each other in my life.

If you're a fan of both Tom and Z, then when one has some down time, you can enjoy whatever the other has going on work-wise on their end. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[philosophika]

Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better

Hi everyone, I'm back from an unplanned semi-hiatus (turns out moving countries can really do a number on you) and am looking forward to interacting again. On that note, thank you very much to my new mutual, @lordfenric-writes for tagging me! If you don't already know Fenric (can I call you Fenric?), go check out their Content Links Post for access to their 2023 NaNoWriMo project and more! Soft tagging: @tate-lin @lucianinsanity @songsofsomnia @moonscribbler @words-after-midnight @blind-the-winds @sarah-sandwich @mydeadpony @inkovert @sender-paulson @athenswrites @wordsacrossemptypages, @winterandwords and anyone else who'd like to participate! If you want me to remove you from the tags, just send me a message and I'll get right on it <3

Current Book I'm Reading: OK, so the first thing you need to know about me is that I'm a fully institutionalized academic, and although I've (THANKFULLY) left that world behind, I. CAN'T FOR. THE. LIFE. OF. ME. stop reading like an academic. I haven't been able to read fiction in over a year. The only genre outside of non-fiction that I still seem to be able to connect with is horror. And not like ghosts in your attic horror. Obscure, weird-as-fuck horror. Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman & Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova horror (which are both excellent books, by the way). But that wasn't the question, was it? The question was: what am I reading now. Well, (oh god) I've been digging into The Last Man Takes LSD: Foucault and the End of Revolution by Mitchell Dean & Daniel Zamora, which sounds a whole lot more trippy than it actually is. Mainly, I'm interested because the authors point out that Foucault's late philosophy, his so-called 'ethical turn' towards an 'aesthetics of existence', was inspired by a trip he took to California (and the upper reaches of the universe). Since I wrote my MA dissertation on this exact topic (the ethical turn, not the LSD), I thought it might come in handy for future articles...

Last Song I Listened To: Bastille & Hans Zimmer's new cover of Bastille's Pompeii, Pompeii MMXXIII (recommended by a friend). Before that, I was listening to a 'British Folk/Weird Folk/Horror Folk' playlist on Spotify which was pretty interesting... Actually, it reminded me of being a child in the English countryside, stuffing my face with berries by the side of the road and then going to the new-age shop in the village to listen to whale-song CDs, touch magic gemstones, and smell incense sticks. Very hippie.

Currently Watching: The Servant on Apple TV (is the baby real or not!? It's driving me crazy); Foundation on Apple TV (and I swear it's not because Jared Harris is in it or Lee Pace wears chainmail crop-tops. I swear!); and... The News? Does the news count? I watch a lot of 'the news' now. Actually, I can't stop watching... It's been quite sad and terrible lately...

Current Fic I'm Reading: Sorry, I don't read fics! I know it's blasphemy. Believe me, no one is more disgusted with me than I am. But yeah, there you go... Never been my thing, really. Nothing against it.

Next On My Watch List: the upcoming Napoleon movie featuring Joaquin Phoenix; Killers of the Flower Moon; anything A23 produces anytime; Priscilla by Sofia Coppola (which is A23 also so, you know, naturally); and I'll probably re-watch The Green Knight for Christmas (it is a Christmas movie, after all).

Current Obsession: My WIP, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which you can check out on my writeblr side-blog (@thesorcerersapprentice) has been my main obsession for the past -what?- four years? More or less? I really feel like until I've written this thing, gotten it out of me, I won't be able to write anything else. It just won't leave me alone. I can't think around it; I always end up coming back. It's a story I fundamentally, deep down in my bones, need to write. So it's my obsession: today, tomorrow, and always, right up until the day it's done.

[sunnyie-eve]

9 | The Same

Series: No Prince Charming

Paring: Harry Hook x Original female character Princess!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"Honey, we thought in order to get more VK's to sign up for the program that it would be great if you went over to pass out and hang up the four's posters. Volunteer to show we want to give more a chance as well." Belle tells Bella as she walks into their office.

"You of course would have someone with you for protection just in case something goes wrong with certain VK's." Adam adds.

"Why me and not Ben? It's his thing." She says confused.

"Because you still need to do your duties as the Princess." Belle gives her a look.

"Fine, I'll do it for my brother because I'm a good sister." Bella gives them a fake smile.

"Great, the limo is outside waiting for you."

"Oh, now?" Bella rushes for the door to leave not wanting to make her parents mad.

Arriving at the Isle people watch her get out of the limo. She explains she's there to help spread word about the VK program and passes out flyers and posters to those who wanted to help.

"Princess Isabella." Dizzy goes over to her.

"Dizzy, right? And just call me Bella." Bella gives her a smile.

"Yes, I can't believe King Ben is giving more VK's a chance at living in Auradon." She jumps in joy.

"Well, after seeing how it is here for you guys he wanted to change that for some of you guys." Bella tells her with a smile.

"It's nice you came over to help to get more people to join. It's showing progress of Auradon." Dizzy says so Bella just looks at her for a few seconds.

"It really is thanks to Ben. And me... I'll take a little credit since I put the thought in his head in the very beginning." Bella laughs.

"Well, thank you." Dizzy hugs her so Bella hugs her back.

The two of them work together putting up posters till Dizzy stops, "I don't have any money." Bella looks back confused only to see Harry.

"You steal from younger kids, really?"

"I haven't done it since Uma left. But I hear the Princess was here so I finally found her." He smiles walking closer to them.

"And why are you looking for me? That's a little creepy."

"I was just curious what the Princess was doing here again, but I see this time it's one of her duties and not for fun like last time." He smiles eyeing her head to toe. She was a beauty in his eyes and he loved what he saw. Since he met her, his mind has only been able to think about her wanting to see her again. 

"Exactly, I'm here for my Princess duties and not for fun like last time. So excuse me, I'm quite busy." Bella lets him know, "Dizzy, where's another good spot to put up posters?" Bella turns to her.

"Oh, follow me!" Dizzy takes off so Bella nods her head at Harry leaving to follow Dizzy.

Just like Harry, Bella hasn't been able to get him out of her mind too. Never once back home has a guy ever caught her eye until she ran into him. He was breath taking and what really reeled her in was those gorgeous blue eyes of his.

"How do you know Harry?" Dizzy asks as they put up Evie posters together. 

"When I was here last he kidnapped my brother and the whole time we chatted. Not to mention, I kept stealing from him for fun to pass time." Bella tells her and that was it. 

"Just be careful with him." Dizzy lets her know, "He's a big flirt with anyone he finds attractive." She adds. 

"Get that junk off my pub!" They look over to see a guy tearing down some posters that other kids put. The man turns and points at Bella, "Princess Isabella." He smiles walking over to her. 

"Umm," Bella looks at the man then it hits her, "Gaston." She forces a smile, "My mother says hello." She lies to him.

"She does?" He says surprised.

"She does. She wishes you are doing well. Oh, hey Gil." She feels some relief seeing him. 

"Oh, Bebe! Dad, you met Bella. She's just like her mother, huh?" Gil joins them.

"Looks exactly like her. You have her eyes." 

"Yes, I'm sorry but I have to get back to putting up posters then I have to get going. I promise not to put any on your building. Have a good day." Bella grabs Dizzy's arm to leave. 

"the was awkward." Dizzy tells her.

"No, kidding."

After a few more hours for working it was time for Bella to head back home. She tells dizzy goodbye and can't wait to see her again. As she was getting into limo a hand grabs her wrist making her two guards move Harry away from her.

"I just wanted to give the Princess a gift, gentlemen." He chuckles looking at them.

"It's okay." Bella tells them so Harry walks towards.

"For you." He shows her a red stone ring, "It was my father's. He gave it to me but I want to give it to you. To remember me while you're stuck at home wishing for an adventure." He smiles sliding it on her finger.

"Harry, I can't take you're father's ring as a gift." She tries to give it back to him. 

"Yes, you can Princess. He gave me permission to. Till next time." He kisses the top of her hand before walking off. Bella just gets in the limo to head home so confused about how she felt about Harry. 

Meanwhile back in Auradon, Ben was searching everywhere for his sister, "Father have you seen Bella?" He passes his father passing him in the hall.

"She should be coming back from visiting the Isle to promote your VK program." His father tells him.

"Bella went to the Isle alone?" 

"She had two guards with her incase anything happened. Why are you so worried?" Adam asks confused.

"I just don't exactly trust Hook's son around her. Not to mention he's part of Uma's crew." Ben sighs as Bella shows up. 

"How was the visit, dear?" Adam gives her a smile.

"It was great. Spent the whole time with Dizzy. Just one awkward moment running into Gaston having to talk to him." She laughs a bit.

"You see Harry?" Ben asks.

"No, I didn't see him. Just Gil with his father." She lies to him. "I'm gonna go tell Evie how much I adore Dizzy." She leaves the two to go see Evie at her place. "Evie, guess what I did today?" Bella walks inside.

"Go on a great adventure?" Evie says working on a dress.

"Sorta, I was sent to the Isle by my parents to help get kids to sign up so I spent the whole day working with Dizzy."

"Dizzy? She's so sweet isn't she?" Evie stops working.

"She is. I love her so much." 

"Anything else happen?" Evie takes a seat.

"Awkward conversion with Gaston. I lied saying that my mom says hello." Bella takes a seat too.

"Did you happen to run into a certain pirate who carries around a hook he doesn't need?" Evie smiles at her.

"Maybe but to Ben, I didn't." She makes clear so she doesn't tell Ben.

"And?"

"And what?" Bella laughs.

"Come on, Ben said you two seemed close playing around. And when he came to deliver the message for Mal, the looks between you two..." Evie tries to get something out of her.

"That was nothing. There's nothing there. I was just doing that to annoy him and I don't even know him. And he kidnaped my brother, Evie." Bella explains to her.

"Your father held your mother as a prisoner for awhile when she traded spots with your grandfather. Look now they're married with two kids." Evie makes a point. 

"It's not the same." 

"Isabella." Evie says her name in a tone, "The Beast let Belle go about the castle instead of locked in the dungeon. Harry let you wonder around the ship instead of tied up like Ben. Belle gets along with the nice household objects. You got along with Gil. Despite the Beast being a little rude after saving Belle, she starts to fall for him. Despite Harry being a VK and wanting to hook Ben, you play around with him in a flirty way and open up to him a bit. I say it's the same."

"Are you done?" Bella gives her a look.

"If you admit it, yes." Evie smiles.

"Okay, it's kinda the same. I am my mother." Bella whines, "But this is Harry Hook, it's never going to happen. He's there, I'm here and there's constantly a barrier up."

"And you're the Princess, who has access to go over there anytime you want. Heck, if you want to see what could happen go get to know him. And as a VK who grew up on the Isle with him and knew him... He has his moments but he's also very loyal and protective." Evie lets her know, "Our secret from Ben. As you told me, you don't need a prince."

[emmym1]

My thoughts on... (Part 1) Spider-Gwen 2015B (#24-29) "Gwenom"

So i have finished the Spider-Gwen Gwenom arc. And MAN is there a lot to talk about. So much stuff happened and the finale they're setting up for this storyline is so good. So it starts where it left off at the end of the predators arc. Harry is cured and Venom has been created. Interestingly Venom does not go for Gwen but for Wolverine first, which kind of surprises Gwen because it was initially believed only she could bond with the symbiote & survive it. But due to Wolverine being near immortal he is able to withstand the radioactivity from the symbiote, however he can't control it causing him to turn into all the darkness he tried so hard to fight off. It really shocks Gwen & Kitty seeing how powerful the symbiote can be. They quickly realize sound is what weakens its connection with the host and try that at first but it doesn't seem to do the full job. So instead they go for Kitty phasing Wolverine through the symbiote to get him out of it which works. After that Gwen tries to defeat it using sound but that's when Murdock shows up and explains that it's only weak to sound when it's bonded with someone. Venom latches onto Gwen as she slowly turns into Gwenom but not before catching Murdock's phone and using the music on it to actually control the symbiote. Murdock also seems to be somewhat surprised by this but it doesn't get in the way of his plan. Murdock points out how Gwen has been focussing on the wrong fight and realizes Murdock must've done something with her dad upon which Murdock opens a portal to the hospital room where a very defeated Captain Stacy is lying (yup, murdock stole Gwen's interdimentional portal watch). Gwen immediatly goes through and absolutely loses it, turning into Gwenom and being super fed up with all the cops who were unable to protect her dad. She decides to go after who did it, Rhino and leaves. We see her turn into a very agressive vigilante who is not stopping at any cost before she gets to Rhino. Interrogating people in ways we haven't seen her do before. It's really interesting to see that despite being able to control Venom, she still gives in. Why? because she has nothing left and no one else to talk her out of it. Usually her dad was her voice of reason that would tell her to do the right thing when things go tough, to remind her of her morals and who she is. Without that her fears, anxieties & anger is getting louder and louder with no one to turn to or to talk to. She's really lost and Venom leans in to that. You slowly see Venom join in as a second inner monologue, the only other voice in her life that's telling her what she should or shouldn't do. And it turns her into this very agressive angsty vigilante known as Gwenom. Her tirade in the hospital with the cops has also caused the public opinion on her to decline even further. She's finally giving them reasons and something substantial to question her as a hero beyond what the police was putting out. The way MJ reacts all to this is super interesting and kinda a big character moment for her. For anyone who knows Gwen but not her Spider-Woman side it looks like as if she's been missing, Gwen has completely shut herself off from anyone out of her life as Gwen to try and track down Rhino. Despite almost 100% being sure Gwen is Spider-Woman MJ decides to put up posters asking if anyone has seen Gwen. Some guy also points out to her that Gwen is probably Spider-Woman and she gets like super defensive about it. The mary Janes are also really shocked about it because MJ has been saying that Gwen is Spider-Woman for weeks now, so they ask that why all of a sudden she gets so mad when someone else thinks the same. She points out that a lot of people hated Spider-Woman back when she was all clean and bright and trying to do right thing. So now, when they start thinking that's she's this Venom thing she can't imagine what would happen. It's a super big moment for MJ as she realizes the weight Gwen is carrying and why her identity should be protected.

[magratpudifoot]

Finished 29 January 2025 (I think? This week has been an ordeal.):

Queer Images: A History of Gay and Lesbian Film in America - Harry M. Benshoff & Sean Griffin

I got this 2006 text from the library at the same time as Monsters in the Closet, and it has been weird as all hell to just be incidentally reading a history of queer censorship from the Hays Code to the Reagan-era AIDS backlash at the same time that Felix González-Torres' "Untitled" Portrait of Ross in L.A. is being intentionally abstracted from its identity as an AIDS memorial.

My oddest moment came when I read this (published, again, 3 years before Drag Race premiered): “And for a brief moment [in the 90s], men in drag became so popular that RuPaul not only became a top-ten singer but also hosted her/his own television show (248)." I wanted to be able to go back in time and tell them that RuPual has been on TV again for 17 consecutive years, and her show is franchised around the world. But at the same time, I am right now in this moment becoming concerned that my ISP may snitch on me to my landlord and/or boss if I stream it and get me evicted or fired now that our civil rights are in question again. So...conflicted feelings!

Overall, Benshoff and Griffin's work is invaluable as a monument to 20th century queer film, and, like Monsters in the Closet, I strongly recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about what has gone before and may come again, as well as the wins along the way.

NOW, that said, I also want to highlight a few passages that, from the vantage of 2025, illustrate exactly why 1) we CANNOT dismiss work from previous eras out of hand for using terms or outdated information that make us uncomfy, and 2) we HAVE to stop basing our acceptance of queer media on the perceived sexuality and gender identities of the people involved in the production instead of the actual content.

(Please note that there are deadnames in the following passages--these are the names that these individuals were professionally known by at the time that this book was printed, and I am reproducing them as printed because of the specific point I am making by excerpting them.)

“Yet despite the beefcake and wall-to-wall camp [in Can’t Stop the Music], Valerie Perrine and Bruce Jenner are always front and center as the film’s heterosexual love interests.” (178)

The queerness of the dingdang Village People movie is qualified here because the sapphic transwoman star was still presenting as a cishet man when her character was romantically paired with another woman. I am not taking issue with the idea that it is heterosexist to deliberately include a cishet couple in an effort to tone down the gayness of a movie intended for wide release--that's obviously heterosexist. And I'm certainly not granting Caitlyn Jenner of all frickin people any kind of queer revolutionary points, because the lady ain't really a friend to the community. But gender fuckery involving crossdressing sapphics undermining hetero marriage is half the reason we consider Shakespeare a queer icon, for goodness sake, so this is a bonkers thing to read post-2015. I haven't seen this film, but it sounds to me like Jenner's character might as well be Viola to Perrine's Olivia.

But WAIT, something even more jaw-dropping happened in the chapter on 1990s films:

“Hollywood also exploited the era’s ‘lesbian chic’ via the film noir thriller Bound (1996). Released widely by Gramercy Pictures, Bound was written and directed by the Wachowski Brothers, two writer-directors who would later create The Matrix film franchise. [...] A stylish and sexy thriller, Bound allows its queer couple to have an onscreen love affair and a happy ending, a fact that pleased many lesbians in the audience. The Wachowski Brothers' stated aim was to embrace and expand film noir, to make ‘something that could push the boundaries of a genre film and still remain entertaining. . . . We tried to play with people’s expectations, their assumptions, and the clichés of a genre, including the sexual dynamics implied by these clichés.’ They even hired queer sex guru Susie Bright to be the film’s ‘technical advisor.’ However, it is also easy to see the film as yet another Hollywood made-by-and-for-men ‘lesbian’ film (such as Showgirls [1995]), one that does little to challenge usual male fantasies about female sexuality.” (258, bold mine)

Again, I am NOT arguing against the accusations that the Hollywood machine was being exploitative with this film...but the Hollywood machine is inherently exploitative, both from a capitalist financial point of view and because it is one of the primary cultural arms of US hegemony. But that "They did everything right and were intentional about upending cishet conventions, just, y'know, they're dudes, so..." take is particularly disappointing considering this footnote to a sentence earlier in the text than the above excerpt:

“The Wachowski Brothers are notoriously shy of publicity and do not give many interviews. Current gossip suggests that one of them is transgendered and in the process of transitioning to a woman. If that gossip proves to be true, public response to their popular films may shift a great deal.” (265)

Which...1) Why are we gossiping about this?? (I was an entire adult in 2006, so I KNOW why we were gossiping about this, just...gosh it's not a good look for an academic Queer Theory text, huh?) and 2)

My points here are that even people who were on the whole radically trans-positive compared to the rest of society in 2006 read as clueless at best (and honestly gross, in the case of that footnote) in 2025, and these otherwise reasonably good film analyses were still informed by the critics' understanding of the identities of individuals that would be proven incorrect in time.

Just one more argument against requiring artists to tell us their alphabet before we will interact with their work in good faith...

[air--so--sweet]

Right major major spoilers for the end of this film, like do not read if you haven't seen it! I know at least one person who follows me frequently reads analysis for things they have not watched but I really recommend not reading this without having seen the film. It's a good, though very affecting film.

Also this is less analysis and more emotional word vomit about my feelings about the film, specifically how it ends,and how some stuff in my own life affected those my feelings about it

For context, I think it's worth noting that I interpreted the ghosts of the film as just that, ghosts. I know there are other interpretations of them as imaginings etc and those are interesting, but when I watched it I took the concepts ghosts at face value, personally.

I actually left the cinema so angry. I felt tricked to find out Harry was a ghost and had been almost the entire time. To find out he'd died sad, and so alone that no one even noticed he was dead, no one found his body, wrecked me. It's alluded to throughout the film, so technically its not fully out of left field, but god I just wanted him and Adam to be happy, y'know? One good thing in both their lives. I wanted Harry, who talks about his family rejecting him because he's queer, to experience love and tenderness and being cared for while alive, not after he'd died.

Also I interpreted the zoom out to the stars as him passing on, so even though Adam is finally able to move on from his parents deaths and is more open to letting himself experience love again, even if it carries the risk of loss, he's still completely alone again like he was at the start of the film.

In the time since, my anger has mellowed, and I agree with a friend's comment that it was the most truthful end to the film and the only way it really could end, but I don't know if I can say I like the ending. I've reached the point where I can say that I like the film overall, but the ending still makes me feel a bit sick.

It's not just that's its a sad film, I like a lot of sad films, Aftersun is one of my favourites of all time despite being devastating. I started crying all over again trying to talk about Past Lives with my friend after we left the cinema, but I have been telling everyone I know to watch it. It's the type of sad this film is thst I struggle with but I don't know how to articulate it beyond that. It's kind if an insidious sadness almost, in that it creeps up on you. I feel like I'm making this more confusing in trying to explain it, so I'll stop there.

It is worth mentioning, my view of the film is very coloured by the fact I watched it at the worst time I probably ever could. I saw this in the morning having finally gotten up the courage to come out to a group of friends as transmasc the night before, after about a month feeling too anxious to even physically get the words out, even in writing, because, though i knew they'd be completely accepting, doing so made it more real. Also, my first name is pretty similar to Harry, and I used to live in Stratford, where both him and Adam live. And on top of all thst I share some physical similarities with Paul Mescal, who plays him, that means we sont look dissimilar to each other (others have said this, it isnt just me being delulu). And let me tell you, seeing a film about a queer man, with almost the same name as me, who looks a bit like me, living in an area of London that I once lived in, dying alone with no friends or family to find him, the day after I'd finally admitted that I'm a man to people for the first time, after only admitting it to myself about a month before that...well it didn't feel great. It felt pretty awful honestly, still does a bit.

I don't know how to end this post...which is ironic as its about an ending.

Basically it's an objectively good, though extremely sad film, and because it's coloured by my what was happening in my own life at the time I don't know if I can ever rewatch it (but also I'm still in the process of coming out, changing my name etc so maybe I'll feel different after more time has passed).

This is possibly the most personally revealing thing I've ever posted on here but it felt kind of cleansing, even if it is total word vomit.

As the song builds, Adam holds Harry tighter, comforted at last, cared for at last, no longer strangers. Harry’s breathing slows.

“Love is the light, scaring darkness away”.

[spider-xan]

I haven't even able to get into Spider-Man things for the last while bc my focus both online and IRL has been Palestine (RIP me still having to write this article about the shitty museum I nominally volunteer at for my country's BDS coalition, but I have forgotten how to write after over a decade lol), but I will get around to that backlog of Asks and recent things I want to write about eventually, but this is my status so far on current comics:

I do not care about whatever the fuck Zeb Wells is doing in the main ASM line and this whole Spider-Goblin story is so stupid (and apparently a rehash of a plot from only a few months ago?), but ofc my guy Curt had to randomly appear in this story arc doing fuck all and his personality is kind of all over the place, so I'm only slightly invested to see what happens to him and praying Wells doesn't suddenly decide he's going to be a cannibalistic incel again.

The first Blood Hunt issue last month was boring and I could not get into it, and like I said before, it just proves to me that the Lizard is boring without Curt, not that we haven't gone through that before, and I wish the split was being handled in a more psychologically interesting way; I didn't even realize until later today that the second issue is out today, and like, whatever, it sounds like the main takeaway is a corporate cringe moment of using a meme that stopped being funny a long time ago after being driven into the ground.

I'm really behind on the new USM line and haven't really anything past the second issue, so I have three or so issues to catch up on now; so far, I'm still not sure what to think of it bc yeah, sure, it's way better than the main line and I'm enjoying, but idk - I'm still annoyed at Robbie being sidelined the way he is, but at least it sounds like MJ and May actually get some characterization and development, at least; I wish I could care about Harry, but all the misogyny from his fans and P*rksborn shippers lately have really soured me on him and his relationship with Peter, even though that's not the character's fault.

[1d1195]

it's gonna be another long ask bestie, Im sorry 😭 I yap too much when it comes to us talking lol I will try to keep it short!

Me being locked out was so scary bc i've has my blog since like the 6th grade so even though i wiped it when I had my tumblr break a few years ago, I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE IT! oh and you weren't wrong for assuming about classes lol They still are but they were slightly better this week! side note, hot TA is lecturing tomorrow(Friday) and bestie im so excited not bc of the content but for him lol

anways lol If Harry told me off idc if this sounds like Im down bad but I would probably enjoy it lol I for sure saw that their stubbornness and her vulnerability issues would cause conflict between these two so I think that this was the best route to go in for them! I really liked reading it even though it sucks having them fight lol

I love a good backstory! I always enjoy knowing why the characters are the way they are! Like it very much connects the dots for me and I can see how certain events led them to act a certain way! idk I like knowing things lol and i also don't have a great relationship with my dad HAHA like its crazy how easily the thought about my father and I's dynamic makes me easily cry lol

ALSO another side note, the kids show Bluey literally makes me BAWL my eyes out because they have a nice relationship with her father AND the parents have a healthy relationship too 😭😭😭 so I can totally understand how writing this feels good for you!

Trust me, me using your government name is overall a good thing too lol You really GAGGED me with that cliffhanger lol

OKAY PART 7! AHHHHHHHHHH LOVED IT!!!!!!! this was such a perfect way to end it! Okay so FUCK JACK I HOPE HE SUFFERS SO MUCH :)!(i know hes not real but hes real to me so he must suffer!) FUCK THAT MAN! Ngl though was proud of her for breaking his nose which was such win! I was glad she was able to handle it on her own for the most part which is so good! Ideally she would have not gotten hurt but we need the drama lol OKay so I was giggling while reading the locker room scene only because it makes sense that Harry is being such a GUY by punching things lol oh and THE I LOVE YOU DROP?!?!? ADORABLE!!!!!!! and her and Louis's interaction omg that was a cute little moment! VERY MUCH ENJOYED THIS SERIES YOU WILL NEVER DISSAPOINT!

I am manifesting for you to have the best weekend! You WILL enjoy that trashy book and do something that is just for you to enjoy! Enjoy and relax! Wishing you the best my love!-💜

I literally have meltdowns every time I type my password incorrectly when I login. My fear is that I will lose this and all this work. That's why I spent time putting all my work in a drive six months ago. 😭

I haven't baby sat in a while so I haven't seen Bluey! (I'm a Paw Patrol girl) but I've heard ONLY good things about Bluey and how it's good for all ages 😭 Maybe I should give it a watch. Because I've been listening to this song for a few weeks and one of the lyrics is "my parents didn't teach me love but I know how to divorce" and as much as I want to get married (mostly so everyone will stop asking me when it will happen) I don't know if being married will cure everything. Okay, sorry for the heavy vent of this. Let's move on to FUN things. LIKE

HOW WAS HOT TA's LECTURE? I'm 2/3 of the way through my trashy book for the weekend and I am sorry to say I'm wishing for very inappropriate things on your behalf 🤭 maybe it will happen when I sit down to write TA Harry for you 😭

I've had most of Part 7 written for so long that I was like "Omg I need to add more" so Harry got to punch a few things more (I needed to make sure I didn't accidentally write him into legal trouble lol). Then I was like "You know we should have Louis tell her she did a good job too." hehehehehe I really loved writing this one too. It never really felt like I was at a loss of stuff to write.

Thank you for your message as always 💕

xoxo

[hogwartsfirebolt]

My 12 favorite reads of 2021

Hi everyone! This is an edit I made to showcase my 12 favorite fics of the year. I had an amazing reading year, in quite a different way than I had before, and that is: Most of the authors on this list haven't been featured in any of my yearly rec lists before!! And that makes me super happy because this fandom is full of incredibly talented people and I'm so happy to have found them this year, experienced their work and now be able to share it with you! So here goes, in no particular order:

1. first words of a shooting star - @piarelei - 15k - E

This story is about brandy abstinence, raising your son to be a better man than you are, indulging in hot chocolate with your best friend, and falling in love with Harry Potter. Or Draco accidentally gets knocked up. It's all Harry's fault.

This was my last fic of the year and I was over the moon with how much I loved it. Harry's characterization is my kryptonite, and the themes explored warmed my heart and made me weak. A delicate, purposeful approach to falling in love and gaining a family in the process.

2. tinder, flicker, flash - @americanmoths - 80k - M

Molly Weasley takes Draco in after Narcissa, wanted for many murders and schemes, abandons him in the forbidden forest. This is a Drarry story, so obvs your fav schoolyard enemies fall in love, but first Draco has to learn to love his adopted family. ft. magical Zoom calls, gay solidarity, a prank war, a real war and George Weasley’s unsubstantiated belief in his own psychic abilities. a story where nobody makes any good decisions, yet everything turns out ok.

No words can describe how much I adore this. The worldbuilding is incredible, and the redesigning of the character arcs is masterful and stunning. My favorite depiction of Draco I've read in a long time, an intriguing take on the war and magical theory, my new favorite Malfoy family dynamics, the best Draco and Ginny friendship I've ever read. Truly, every detail of this will live in my mind rent free forever. I was itching for a reread the very second I finished it.

3. sink your teeth in - @softlystarstruck - 3k - E

Harry, or the wolf, or the wolf-that-is-Harry, is possessive. But he's trying not to show it. Draco, though? Draco wants to be wanted.

Anyone, literally, anyone who knows me will tell you that my two favorite things in the world are werewolves and a powerful Harry Potter. The way Bee managed to crystalize every single one of my daydreams into this absolute stunning, scorching hot gem of a fic, launched me directly into the sun. My personal hottest fic of the year. This is also a blanket rec for everything Bee has ever written. They have the best pen I've had the pleasure of encountering in a while.

4. Watch The Castles Burn - @moonflower-rose - 21k - E

Draco Malfoy knows better than to get involved with Harry Potter. If only someone would have reminded him of that six months sooner, then maybe he wouldn't be in quite such a large mess.

Probably my most reread fic of the year. This morning I finished my 7th reread, and I'm not stopping anytime soon because it just has the most delicious, mercurial dynamic with the absolute perfect dose of pining between friends with benefits who have no clue how to talk to each other. A proud Draco Malfoy who is surprisingly vulnerable and has no idea how hot he is, an equally oblivious Harry, meddling friends and Quidditch tops that are way too tight. Every word of this is a treat and a half.

5. Intention - @the-sinking-ship - 6k - E

Harry really ought to listen to whatever Ron is saying, but it becomes impossible to focus when a familiar figure across the pub curls his fingers around another man’s tie. And when that man leans in with a wolfish smile, Harry sees red, and all he can think is mine.

The way that just thinking about this fic has me fanning myself really tells you everything. The sexiest Harry, with a purposeful possessiveness and focus that makes him unstoppable until he has Draco right where he wants him. It's the kind of story that will have you breathing heavily and scrolling right back to the top as soon as you finish reading it.

6. The Arc of the Pendulum - brummell - 30k - E

After his father casts a mysterious curse on Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy is forced to try to make things right.

The most interesting take on werewolves I have ever read in fic. Very much a beauty and the beast retelling, with a lovely Draco who just wants to make things right and a... slightly feral Harry. The perfect combination of dark, sexy and sweet. Can't recommend it enough.

7. Echoes - @static-abyss - 5k - T

His name is Kier Warden, pureblood, white as fucking snow with big blue eyes and an arrogant tilt to his chin. He's got soft blonde curls and a winning smile, straight white teeth. He's perfect for the Wizengamot, the picture of abashed contrition whenever anyone turns to look at him. "Sorry, Mr Potter," he says. "I don't know what came over me." Except Harry knows. Because he heard the low murmur right before Warden bit him, the foul insult followed by the open disdain. He bit Harry because he can't stand that the Wizarding world loves someone who isn't perfectly white. He can't take the way the Wizarding world seemingly worships the ground Harry walks on. Kier Warden hates him, that's why he bit him.

God. I can't fit the many ways in which this fic resonated with me in just one comment. It speaks not only to my love for the pairing, or Harry's character, or even werewolf lore, no, it goes as deep as touching the strings of my Mexican roots. The culture in this, the traditions and grief and love, are so beautifully done that I struggle not to tear up when I remember it. Truly just a beauty of a story.

8. Veđr - @shealwaysreads - 2.7k - M

Norsemen have ranged far enough inland to find Harry, alone and abandoned by his kith and kin. But they bring far more than danger with them, they bring adventure, they bring magic.

Beautifully written, lyrical and unique. This story feels like it was built on the very foundations of the world, and it deals with magic, nature, power, finding your own people or letting them find you. One of my absolute favorite works by one of my absolute favorite authors. Honestly, truly one of a kind.

9. On Truth and Understanding - @iero0 - 21k - E

Draco doesn't know how to say certain things. Harry doesn't know how to ask for them. On a sultry summer's night, they finally talk about past wounds, current problems, and the future options that will change their lives forever.

Gorgeous, raw honesty in this incredible story about learning to show yourself, to talk to the person you love and find unconditional trust right back. This fic holds one of the most genuine, important conversations I've ever read them having, and the way the author approaches that, with impossible care and gentleness, had me tearing up the whole way through. Absolutely heart warming.

10. Quick As A Flash of Lightning, Unhurried As Eternity - @onbeinganangel - 10k - E

Can you fall in love with someone by simply watching them fiercely love another version of yourself?

The loveliest take of a glimpse into a better life. My heart ached for this Harry, his worries and his wants, and it was endlessly soothed by the love depicted in every detail of the world he finds himself in. With gorgeous prose and vivid emotions, the author guides us tenderly through it all. A complete beauty.

11. In Pursuit of Lost Marbles - @graymatters - 22k - T

Every night after work, Healer Malfoy follows the same routine, beginning with a familiar flight of stairs that leads to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. With an air of professionalism, he introduces himself to Harry, his husband of seven years, when a memory curse makes Harry look at him like a stranger. He tries not to flinch when Harry calls him sir, but he smiles when bits of the old Harry emerge. Eventually, Draco leads Harry to the Pensieve where he shows him pieces of the life they've built together, what Harry will come home to, one day, when this is all over. Then, Draco waits. He waits, and he hopes.

The ache of endless hope is presented in the most beautifully heartbreaking way. It is exactly as painful as you imagine from the summary, but just as soothing and beautiful in the immense love Draco holds for Harry, and how powerful a force it is. A tale of a life and home and hope, it made me cry and clutch my chest with happiness too.

12. Contractually Obligated - @fluxweeed - 11k - T

In what universe is it fair that marrying Draco Malfoy is the only way for Harry to get his magic back?

And last but absolutely not least, a favorite of mine amongst the many gems of this author's works! All the pining of an arranged marriage, with intriguing theory and amazing characterization. The nuance and depth of the characters is incredible, and the hints we get of their pasts and possible futures even more so. A fun, lovely, aching story that I could read and read and read and never ever get tired. The sequel is ALSO INCREDIBLE.

-

All these stories made my year, I hope they bring you as much happiness as they brought me. Happy new year!

[snippybaby]

I read this the other day and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, but not in a good way tbh. I thought about writing a proper essay about this but I can't be bothered, so this is just going to be me getting down the problems I have with this article.

Firstly, this part: "Reznor has an Oscar and a wife and a paycheck from Apple. Like countless musicians - Harry Styles; the Beatles - he has shed the stigma of being some sweaty, shameful girl secret, and become an artiste. A legitimate musician; a part of the pantheon. By which I mean, mostly, men like him." Let's go through this step by step.

To list "a wife" along with an Oscar and a paycheck from Apple as evidence of how Reznor has assimilated into the mainstream and gained prestige is misogynistic. Straight up. She has a name - Mariqueen Maandig - and is a musician in her own right. I wonder if Doyle sees the irony in starting an article which talks about We're In This Together Now as the last great love song written by a man by dismissing the woman Trent Reznor is in love with as merely a trophy or achievement, proof he's sold out. I think any of us who have been in band/music fandoms (and beyond, but that's what I know) are familiar with this kind of misogyny from women who are fans, where the partners of musicians are treated dismissively, or outright hostilely.

Then we get to the "sweaty, shameful girl secret" thing. This places Nine Inch Nails as part of a narrative I see all the time relating to fandom, which is sometimes true: that young women make something popular, it's sneered at, then men see the worth in it and suddenly it becomes 'art'. But that's not how it was with Nine Inch Nails at all. Yes, girls and women liked NIN, but boys and men definitely did too. The author even refers to this when she later talks about "all that raw male power that was supposed to scare or exclude us". Not that I think this is accurate: here's where this becomes my thoughts rather than a well-sourced essay, but I remember reading an interview with Reznor where he explicitly rejected the idea that NIN was part of a return to cock rock. But anyway, my point here is that NIN were never a band dismissed because they had a largely female fanbase. Reading old reviews and articles from the 90s, you do sometimes see writers pointing out in a slightly sneering way that under the industrial production, NIN songs generally have a kind of pop sensibility - they're catchy, they have hooks - which is not something Reznor was ever trying to hide. There's a gate-keeping aspect to that critique which is a kind of music bro thing, but it doesn't extend to NIN having been rejected by men because girls liked them. It's a real act of revisionism to put NIN alongside The Beatles in that way.

Now I'm going to take a look at that 'girls like it and it's scorned; men like it and it's art' narrative. As I've said, I see this all the time. I'm not denying that it has been true a lot of the time. But from my perspective, it's become calcified into this essentialist thing which also plays into sexist stereotypes that women just get stuff, that women can tap into deeper emotions than men. You see it in this article where the author says "But men don't get Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor might not even get Nine Inch Nails, really." Now yes, it might be true that NIN songs can be interpreted in a way that taps into a particularly female experience, one that wasn't the intention behind the song. I've had that experience with my own writing, that someone has seen something in it I never knew was there, and has seen their own life in it in a way I can't relate to. It's a very humbling thing. But to say "men don't get Nine Inch Nails" and that Trent Reznor himself doesn't suggests that it's only women who can tap into the true secret meaning of abjection in the lyrics. There are a couple of layers of misogyny here: firstly, the idea that only women "get it" makes me think of that Ursula K Le Guin quote about "making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on." Secondly, while obviously subjugation and oppression is part of "the feminine condition", suggesting that only women can understand that sort of experience is misogynistic - that it's an inherent part of that secret knowledge of women - and also ignores any other axis of oppression which men might also experience such conditions.

Then we get to: "It would likely horrify Reznor to realize I see him this way", the way in question being as a bit of a softy. Somehow, I don't think the guy who said in an interview that a Dua Lipa song made him tear up because his daughter likes it is worried about being seen as a softy. That particular interview happened after this article was written, but Trent Reznor has never been particularly concerned about being known as a tough, masculine man. That's evident from interviews he's done, the way he presented himself (lipstick and fishnets) and, you know, the songs. But to Doyle it's self-evident that "You don't make fifteen different videos styled to look like snuff films if you want to be known as a softy". Emotional vulnerability and artistic exploration of violence are apparently incompatible. Or are they only incompatible when a man does it? Because in the impassioned conclusion to the article, Doyle says "Screw Bob Flanagan. Screw the fake snuff films. Love is the machine that rips your dick off and feeds your organs to the meat grinder." I think you can only write this sentence if you're ignorant of Bob Flanagan's work beyond the most superficial aspect of like, "he's the guy who hammered nails through his dick". Flanagan's work is all about the intertwining of love, violence, and pain, and how his own sexuality and his masochism were related to his disability. I could talk about Bob Flanagan all day (and there's a lot to say about his relationship to gender in his art), but for now I'll just say that I think this shows where this whole men don't and can't ever get it thing leads: the assumption that a man making art about sexual or sexualised violence - like the video for Happiness in Slavery - could only be doing it to show off; that they can't see the extremely obvious metaphors at play, and that they couldn't possibly be making something about their own life and emotions and experiences. Or if they are, that's not the true meaning, the real meaning, the special woman meaning. Men don't get it.

Feels like I should have some grand conclusion here, but nah, I think that's it. Hopefully I can stop thinking about this now I've got all that off my chest.

I’m slightly obsessed with this article on ”The Erotics of Trent Reznor” by Jude Ellison S. Doyle

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Cocotte (Part 3)

Read Chapters 1&2 on AO3 (with the knowledge that Harry is a sex worker and Chapter 2 is very explicit).

Draco spent the next week trying to stop thinking about Potter.

Which was ridiculous. The whole intention of his appointment had been to blow off a bit of steam so that he could be more focused, but he honestly felt more distracted than ever.

"What is with you?" Blaise asked in exasperation as Draco missed the end of whatever he'd been saying about delivery lines and delays.

"Nothing," he said a bit defensively.

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Come on," he said. "What are you thinking about, fess up."

"Nothing," he repeated, doing his best to will himself not to blush, not to give anything away.

The other man set down the parchment he'd been making notes on and stared at Draco appraisingly. "I haven't seen you this distracted since you were dating Charles," he said. Then he frowned, "Or maybe even since we were at Hogwarts and you had that incapacitating crush on Potter."

"Shut up," he spit, feeling his cheeks flame at that, he hadn't told the other man that Potter had been the one to show up to his appointment; it was a secret he planned to carry to his grave. "I didn't have a crush on bloody stupid Potter."

Blaise rolled his eyes, "You had a crush on Potter and everyone knows it."

"Do not make me hex you."

The other man held up his hands in surrender, "I'm just saying don't go falling in love with a-"

"I'm not falling in love!" he exclaimed. "What is wrong with you?"

(Read more below the cut)

"I'm not the one who's not listening to important production updates, th-"

"Take care of it," he said, shaking his head and setting down the papers Blaise had handed him ten minutes ago when he'd sat down. "You can handle it, right?" he snapped waspishly. "I don't have to do everything myself, do I?"

Blaise scooped up the papers and muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" he called as the other man headed to the door.

"Nothing," he said, "Just, you can set up regular appointments you know-"

"Out," he said. "I'm up to my ears in work."

With a shrug, Blaise left and Draco flicked his fingers to shut the door behind him.

He'd intended to get back to work, he really had, but Blaise's words circled in his brain, testing and pushing until he was pulling out the mobile phone he kept tucked in the back of his desk and calling the agency's number.

He was going to prove to himself that this wasn't about stupid Potter, this was just about having sex that he really enjoyed. Anyone would do.

The receptionist had been very helpful selecting someone who would fulfill his needs.

----------------

Anthony had been very good. Professional, punctual, highly attractive, every box that Draco had requested had been ticked. And, frankly, the sex had been fantastic as well.

But still, as Draco sat there in his office the next day, his mind wandered back to bloody Potter. No matter what he did, he couldn't get the images and the feelings that had arisen out of his mind.

He'd practically wanked himself raw to the memory of it in the shower, in his bed, once on the sofa. It was like being a bloody teenager again.

And he might not have minded so much, if only he'd been able to get the other man out of his head when he came. If it had just been some nameless, faceless fantasy, Draco could had managed, but he'd come with the name 'Harry' on his lips more times that he wanted to admit.

After another four, intolerable days, Draco did the only thing he could do; he called the agency again. One more time with Potter and he'd get him out of his system. He just hadn't been expecting him to be as good as he'd been. Now that he knew what to expect, he could go in and have the experience he was looking for, then be done.

Easy as that.

It had been another three days before Potter had any availability, but that was alright. He was fully capable of waiting, Potter didn't dictate his life.

Still, he found himself arriving nearly half an hour early for his appointment.

This time he took off his socks and shoes ahead of time, unbuttoned his waist coat, and rolled up his sleeves before pouring himself a drink from the mini bar in his room and collapsing onto the surprisingly comfortable couch.

Potter surprised him by turning up early as well, twelve minutes before the time their appointment was supposed to start.

"Hello there," he said, smiling broadly at Draco as he stepped in and closed the door, slipping the lock into place before sauntering over to him where he was sitting on the couch.

"You still have twelve minutes," he informed him as he took another sip of his drink, making no move to stand and leaving his legs stretched out on the sofa, keeping his body calm even as his pulse thundered in his neck.

Potter wasn't deterred, he sauntered over, and Draco let his eyes drift over him, admiring his relaxed posture and easy confidence, his hands shoved into his pockets. "How was your day?" he asked as he plopped down on the end of the sofa and pulled Draco's feet into his lap, thumbs digging into his arch.

He hummed, "We don't have to do the forced small talk thing," he said, letting his eyes drift shut as he enjoyed the foot rub.

The other man huffed a chuckle, "It's not forced."

Draco opened one eye and leveled it at the other man, "You actually care about how my day was?"

Potter nodded, "I do."

"Why?"

"Do I have to have a reason?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He sat up a bit straighter and narrowed his eyes that the other man, "Yes."

Potter sighed, as though Draco was the one being tedious. "When I left the Wizarding world, I decided to stop caring about the huge, world-saving kind of things and just care about the people in front of me."

"Including me?" he asked skeptically.

The other man tilted his head, "What makes you think that I shouldn't care about you but random people that I don't know?"

"Potter-"

"Harry," he corrected.

He rolled his eyes, "We're not friends. You don't even like me. You can't possibly care about something as mundane as how my day was."

"Draco," he said, shifting on the couch so that he was straddling Draco's legs. arse resting lightly against his thighs, and looking into his eyes. "I want to know about your day. I'm not the boy you knew at Hogwarts."

"Obviously," he drawled. "I'm not the same either."

"I know that," Potter said. "Which is why I care about your day."

He groaned, "You're fucking relentless." Draco shook his head, "My day was awful, alright? I'm fucking exhausted and I want to stab my own eyeballs out."

"Was that so hard?" he asked.

"You're an idiot," he said, laughing in spite of himself.

Potter grinned at him, "Wanna forget about your awful day?"

He stared into Potter's eyes, letting himself slip a little bit under whatever metaphorical spell Potter was casting. "Merlin, yes."

[liightsups]

the years of short-lived flings and an aversion to settling down had left harry with some kind of complex - like he wasn't built to be anyone's forever - and had him pre-empting a life full of experiences with people that were for a good time and not a long time. that's what freaked him out so much now that he stood in nick's home, his thumb still running along his jawline as their faces sat inches apart: he could feel how much he really wanted back what they once had. they'd laid the foundations of something great together, and then never got a chance to see what it could become. harry wanted nothing more than to find out, and that meant not letting himself run away just because things felt too real. the unique thing about he and nick was that they'd never hurt each other - not even in goodbye. the trust that they'd started building years before was still there, untarnished and aglow. harry let out a breath that he hadn't known he was holding when fingers intertwined in his curls, his body feeling alight as they both leaned in. their lips met softly, and the kiss made harry feel a little lightheaded as he let himself be swept away by nicholas galitzine all over again. kissing nick felt so light and effortless, their lips moving softly and carefully as they let themselves commit every touch to memory. and when they did eventually pull back, it was so slight that when harry said a soft " wow " his lips still brushed against nick's own. he dipped forwards, one last kiss before he pulled back enough to be able to meet his eyes. his fingertips stayed on nick's neck, light against warm skin, and all harry could think was how lucky he felt to get to kiss this man for the first time twice, and hopefully never for the last. "an early birthday gift," he repeated what nick had said before, soft laughter escaping into the minimal space between them. "that felt like an early birthday gift to me." he spoke with a dimpled grin, joking about how amazing that kiss felt that it really could stand as a gift given four months in advance. the words from nick's text rang through harry's mind: ' if you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours and if it doesn’t, it never was '. in this moment, harry had never been more sure that he'd always been nick's. and then, his mind shifted to the text that buzzed on his phone not long before he'd arrived: the confession that maybe he'd never really gotten over harry. "i don't think i ever got over you, either. nothing felt even close to what it felt like with you." a brief pause as he found the right words. "i thought i fucked it, and you'd found someone else and i'd eventually figure out how to do the same." harry dropped his hand from nick's neck so he could intertwine their fingers at their side. "i had no idea that texting you about a song would lead to all -" he used his other hand to bounce his pointer finger back and forth in the small gap between their chests "- this. but i'm really glad that i did. text you, that is." harry knew that if he stopped talking, the nervousness would build up again, so he made sure to add on his last thought before falling silent to let nick respond, a joke paired with a cheeky grin. "and i can't wait to learn about everything i missed. and, y'know. hope that you haven't gotten too cool for me now that you've blown up."

feeling harry's arms around him it felt like a comforting blanket — easily everything he needed and everything he wanted. with how much time has passed, nick always imagined it'd feel more just familiar, but the way his heart ached and longed for this it felt like a surreal dream come to life. it felt like all the best things. even when he was lost in so many roles, even want he dated his co-star, taylor, no one came close to harry. the connection was just different and while taylor was amazing and ready to give nick a world he only dreamed off, his heart was never fully in it the way it was once with harry. he learned so much of who he was with him being his first real boyfriend and he even wished they had more time together. in this very moment, his heart started racing and it felt like maybe, just maybe — there was a chance. their story never felt over to him, just it was paused, laid to rest.

when the hug finally broke, nick made sure to keep his hands on the musician, not wanting to feel life without him again in this moment. harry was like his life line. ❝ hi, ❞ he said back simply, his british accent voice trembling ever so slightly, still feeling so overcome with emotions. the little long time no see comment got a chuckle out of the actor before a soft smile took over his full lips. hearing the compliment, still — nick blushed, cheeks turning a light shade of pink, his head dropping for a moment as he smiled bashfully. ❝ i'd say thirty does — as i'm pretty damn close to that now. ❞ there was a part of him wishing he could just say to spend this one with him, but a bigger part wanted to focus on this moment, not his upcoming 30th. ❝ i'll consider your appearance to be an early birthday gift. ❞ the smile that came to him after was rather bright, full of life and love — showing so much emotion he still held for the other, despite how long. no one had the hold on nick that harry did, and if he could help it, no one else ever would.

a slight shiver ran down nick's spine feeling harry's touch, his heart starting to race and he easily welcomed it. his hazels lost in those emerald eyes he fell for as he noticed how he look at him. with a bit of an unexpected giggle, leaving him, nick moved a hand to get lost in harry's brown curls. feeling how soft they were and so familiar from before, before gently moving in close, resting his lips on the musician's in a soft, sweet manner. it was their first kiss in a while, there was now way he was going to make it anything more right away. it wasn't just some hook up or the lustful passion he had with taylor — this was harry styles, someone who captured his heart and made him feel something no one else has. the moment their lips touched however, it felt right — like everything he remembered but now he felt it deeper, with a stronger feeling than ever before.

[harryconcepts]

part 22

okay so I've literally never been to a concert bc I live in the middle of nowhere and no one good ever comes to my area or close to me so i just haven't so now I'm imagining dating harry and his show is the first one you ever go to 😔 you say something like "I'm so excited to see you, it's actually my first time!" and he's all smiley saying "it'll be your first time seeing me?" and you tell him that it's your first concert ever and then he's all "well now I'm nervous, i have to make this good for my girl!" and then of course it's absolutely amazing and you're sooo hyped like everyone else and once you get back to the hotel and you're ready for bed he pulls you to lay close to him and says "how was your first concert experience?" and you give his nose a little kiss and say "it was amazing, better than i ever could have asked for" and he's all blushy and in love😔

harry would loooooove giving you a massage 😵‍💫 he has you take all your clothes off (the man whore) and lay down on the bed before he gets the oils 😵‍💫 he rubs his hands together to warm them up and then starts rubbing your back so slowly, working over spots he thinks are sensitive 😵‍💫 he smiles when you let out a little sigh or moan because something feels good and he says "right there?" and pushes down a little harder to work out the area 😵‍💫you grip your hands on the sheets and he notices you're a little tense so he says "does that hurt?" and you shake your head and say "no it feels really good... don't stop" and he leans down to kiss your shoulder and keeps working 😵‍💫 it doesn't even have to lead anywhere it would just be such a sensual experience that makes you feel so close to each other 😵‍💫 and occasionally it does get a little filthy because being surrounded by him and his scent and the little encouraging whispers he gives you and being able to feel how strong he is just gets you going 😵‍💫

what do you think is the fastest way to get harry going 😵‍💫 I feel like it doesn't take much when he really likes you bc everything you do makes him 😵‍💫 so all it takes is a few kisses on his jaw or neck or below his ear where you know he's sensitive and he's gripping your hips and trying to stop himself from bucking up into your hips 😵‍💫

why do I feel like lnt is how one of your first dates with harry would go ...... maybe you go out for dinner or whatever and then you go back to his house, he's not implying anything but you just want to keep talking and you don't want the night to end </3 you both have a few glasses of wine and he just lets you ramble on about whatever comes to mind and the conversation keeps flowing bc you just click so well </3 before either of you know it you start to see the sun coming up and you're looking at each other like 😧did we just talk for 5 hours ??? and then he says "I'm so sorry to do this but I'm feeling a little out of it, i should probably head to bed" and you're like "of course, I'll just get my stuff and stop bugging you" and he is so shy when he says "or you... you could stay? get a little nap in? if you're not busy today, of course" and looks so nervous to be asking but you don't want to leave either so you say yes </3 he leads you to his room and gives you a t shirt to sleep in since you still had your normal clothes on </3 he says "if you wanted there's a guest room right next door, but I wouldn't be opposed to a little snuggling" and again he looks so blushy and shy so you just climb into his bed and make yourself comfortable </3 he gets in too but he stays on the opposite side, like he's not sure how close he should get so you turn a little and say "you said you wanted to snuggle, so get over here and snuggle me" <//3 you wake up after noon still cuddled against him and you try to stretch your arms and all your moving wakes him up too, he lets out a big yawn and says "should we find some lunch?" and that's how your second dated turned into your third </3

harry would be so into you being in charge sometimes, he gets a little blushy when you tell him he's being so good for you

harry tying your arms to the headboard... he leaves gentle kisses on your wrists before he ties them on, murmuring "if it's too much i need you to tell me okay? only want my girl to feel good" while he kisses all around 😔 then afterwards he's untying you and kissing the same spots since they're a little raw from you pulling on the ties, he's being so gentle and saying "I'm so sorry baby, they're gonna be a little sore, I'm sorry" and keeps kissing to make it feel better 😔

hmmm yes jumping on him after a big show bc you're so turned on from watching him 😵‍💫 you whisper in his ear "does your dressing room have a lock?" and his eyes go wide and he takes your arm and books it past everyone else to get there 😵‍💫

I feel like harry likes to hold off on sex and even touching himself until he's with you 🥵 when he's on tour he asks if you'll do it to because he knows it will be so much better when you finally get together again 🥵 there's a few nights when you watched him on a livestream and you got particularly amped up or he's just so high on adrenaline that he can't come down so you end up calling each other and having a little guided session over the phone 🥵 maybe you decided on a few toys to use as well 🥵 he likes this little arrangement because he knows you'll be absolutely desperate every time you break and call him needing to get off and because he knows it will be absolutely amazing when he finally comes home 🥵

one day you're feeling particularly feral and Harry's away at work so he can't help you but as soon as he gets home you're all over him saying "I need you right now" and he just nods and carries you to the bedroom 😌 after you both cum you lay there for a few minutes and then you slowly start rocking against him again and he makes a little face like 😮 and says "again?" because he is a menace and you hide your face in his shoulder and he laughs and says "don't be embarrassed, we can go again, just give me a minute" and then he decides he doesn't want to wait so he flips you over and gets settled between your legs😌

right so "hate" sex with Harry after Coachella and he's mocking you for how wet you are and saying "you got this wet just from watching me didn't you" and you can barely talk from how good it feels but you manage to say "shut up just stop talking" and he says "you say you hate me but at the end of the night who's fucking you so good your legs shake? that's what i thought" and gives another hard thrust that makes you moan 😵‍💫

what if you were nervous to have sex with Harry bc you're normally not very vocal during sex and you're worried he will think it's weird or be upset and think he's not doing a good job but you've been thinking about it a lot and you both get so worked up every time you kiss so one day you just blurt out "I want to have sex with you" and he's so surprised and he turns around to look at you and says "sorry?" and you blush so hard and say "I've been thinking about it a lot and I really want to have sex with you" and he's a little shocked at how blunt you're suddenly being but he says "yeah, okay, did you- like right now?" and you're so embarrassed from the whole situation so you just say "nevermind" and start to turn away but he catches your arm and pulls you back to him and says "I didn't mean to upset you" and kisses your cheek a few times then says "I would love to have sex with you, and we don't have to do anything right now, we can do whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like it" and kisses your nose 😔

then you decide to tell him why you were so nervous so you say "it's not that I didn't want to before it's just I'm normally not- loud i guess? I'm usually kind of quiet and I've had people who didn't like that and i didn't want you to be upset or anything-" and he cuts you off with a gentle kiss and says "promise I'll never be upset with you for something like that, and I know whatever you sound like will be incredibly fucking hot" and kisses around your face in between words 😵‍💫 so you nod and turn your face so you can kiss him and it gets heated so quickly from how pent up you both are 😵‍💫 he spins you around and lifts you onto the kitchen counter and you wrap your legs around his waist 😵‍💫 hes pulling you so close like he can't get enough of you and barely lets you breathe before his lips are back on yours 😵‍💫 finally he pulls away enough to say "we don't have to do this if you're not ready we can stop" and you shake your head pulling him back in and saying "i want to, i need you so bad" and he nods and lifts you up and carries you to the bedroom 😵‍💫 he lays you down on the bed and pulls your shirt off before he starts kissing down your chest 😵‍💫 he definitely leaves a few love bites along the way and he's already so turned on by the sound of your little gasps 😵‍💫

when he gets down to your waist he looks up at you again and says "can I take these off?" and you nod and lift your hips to help him but then you put a hand on his shoulder and say "if I don't make a lot of noise it's not because you're not good i really just dont-" and he shushes you gently and says "don't worry about that, you just need to lay back and let me take care of you" and pushes you to lay with your head on the pillows 😵‍💫 he takes one of your hands and puts it in his hair 😵‍💫 he starts so slow just nosing around and leaving small kisses on your inner thighs and he's already obsessed with the way you smell 😵‍💫 finally he gets into it and licks you and he's immediately moaning against you and circling his tongue around you clit and he's so turned on by your little gasps and the way your breath keeps catching when he does something you like 😵‍💫 when he thinks you're getting close because your muscles keep clenching and you're starting to whimper a little he gets a little more sloppy and moves his head and moans so you'll feel the vibrations and soon enough you're arching up, breathing so fast and gripping your fingers in his hair 😵‍💫 he works you through it as best he can until you're pushing him away and then he crawls back up and kisses you 😵‍💫

when he pulls away he pecks little kisses all over your neck and chest and says "you did so good, sounded so fucking pretty for me" and he's a little out of breath 😵‍💫 you run your hand down his stomach to feel how hard he is and he lets out a little whimper and puts his head on your shoulder and says "you don't have to- if you're tired we don't have to do anything else" and you kiss his ear and whisper "i want you to fuck me" and he's so turned on he can barely think 😵‍💫 he has the mind to roll over and grab a condom and then he's teasing you again, rubbing himself up and down your slit and you scratch your nails down his back and your voice is desperate when you say "don't tease me I just want to feel you" and he can't say no when you sound like that so he slowly slides in 😵‍💫 he's shaking from how good it feels and how hard he's trying to keep still until you're ready as you take a minute to adjust 😵‍💫 he has his head in your neck and he's just trying to stay calm as he feels you clench around him and let out a whiny little gasp in his ear 😵‍💫

you say "you can move, I'm okay you're just really big" and it takes everything he has to not come undone right then 😵‍💫 he slowly pulls out and pushes back in and he's losing his mind hearing your little gasps and feeling the way you dig your nails into his back 😵‍💫 he reaches up to suck his thumb into his mouth then down between you to smear it over your clit and he says "can you cum again for me baby? need you to feel good" and you're shaking a bit and you say "I don't know if i can it's too-" and then he uses his other arm to pull your leg up over his hip, and the new angle has him hitting some new spots and this time you do let out a real moan 😵‍💫 he has such a cocky look on his face and he says "right there? that feels good doesn't it?" and keeps rubbing circles on your clit 😵‍💫 you gasp out that you're close and he nods and says "go on baby, show me how good i make you feel" and it's just a few more thrusts before you're tensing up around him and cumming 😵‍💫

you keep clenching on purpose because you want him to let go too and he says "i won't- fuck i won't last if you keep doing that" and you say "I don't want you to last, I want you to cum for me" and he does almost right away like that's what he was waiting to hear 😵‍💫 he pushes his hips right up against yours and finally lets go with his head in your neck 😵‍💫 after a few long seconds he starts to pull out and you whimper at how sensitive you are and he says "I know, I know, I'm sorry" and he's being as gentle as he can because he knows it was a lot 😔 he says "can I go get a cloth to clean you up?" and you nod and let your eyes close 😔 he comes back and says "just gonna wipe you clean, then we'll have a cuddle" and he's so gentle and soft 😔 he climbs in beside you and pulls you close to him and says "just like i thought, that was the hottest fucking thing I've ever heard" and gives you a kiss on the forehead 😵‍💫

something about the hate trope is soooo much for me because like you can't stand each other outside the bedroom but then it's the best sex either of you has ever had and he's so cocky because he knows how good he is .....

"boyfriends" is best friend harry writing about how much he loves you and it kills him to see you with other guys that only hurt you ... ok carry on

harry pinning your arms above your head while he kisses you 😌 yes pls 😌

harry probably loves kissing all over your body, he sighs against your hip and says "you're so fucking pretty" and keeps kissing

you're wearing lipstick for coachella, you give harry a kiss somewhere on his body that's hidden by his outfit (like his shoulder or chest or hip 😌) and leave a lipstick mark 😌 after the show he drags you to his dressing room, he's pushing you against the wall and saying "was thinking about you the whole time, you left this little mark on purpose didn't you? wanted me to be going crazy thinking about you just offstage waiting for me" and you nod and lean down to give the little mark another kiss 😌

why do i feel like harry is obsessed with your tummy ... he's always kissing it and laying his head on it when you cuddle and leaving little love bites all over 😔

some last minute filth 🤩 harry going down on you after he's been teasing you for soooo long and it only takes a few minutes to whine out how close you are and he lifts his head enough to say "already? all it takes is a few dirty words and a bit of touching, you are a needy thing aren't you" and gets back into it because he knows you get off on him talking to you like that 😵‍💫

harry would absolutely love watching your face while you cum, telling you how pretty you are and what a good girl you are for him 😵‍💫

harry making you cum on his tongue and then he just keeps licking at you until you're whining and pushing him away saying "I'm too sensitive no more" and he murmurs "I'm done, I'm done" and kisses up your body and then your lips so you can taste yourself 😵‍💫

I know harry makes you and your pleasure a priority during sex and that is so 😵‍💫 he always wants to make you feel good and find out what you like 😵‍💫

harry would definitely come lay on top of you and say "I need a kiss" and refuse to move until you kiss him 😔

i think we should talk about how sexy it is that harry wouldn't be threatened by your intelligence or you having a career that takes up a lot of your time he would be so proud of you all the time 😔 he would always be telling people about you and so excited to brag about you 😔

hmmm yes i think sometimes harry likes to see you be in control and use him for your pleasure 😌he pulls you onto his lap and settles you over one of his legs and says "go ahead baby, make yourself feel good" 😌 and just watches as you moan against his shoulder 😌

i fear harry is really into some over the clothes stuff 😵‍💫 light grinding while you're kissing because he likes the tease of not being able to feel you fully 😵‍💫

no but harry being so hyped before a show that he's basically shaking and you close the door of his dressing room and lock it before you go back over to him and say "let's see what we can do to calm those nerves" and get down on your knees in front of him 😵‍💫

harry would always ask you to stay the night 😔 he can tell you're getting tired so he says "do you want me to take you home? or you could stay here with me" and he has the cutest face when he asks 😔 you tell him you'd like to stay if it's alright and he says "of course it's alright, i love having you with me" and you just smile and snuggle closer to him 😔 then you're just taking quietly about random things that come to mind and he says "what do you want for breakfast in the morning?" and you just tell him you don't usually eat breakfast but he says "well we can't have that, you can't skip out on the most important meal of the day, not when you're with me" and you just laugh and agree to eat whatever he wants to make 😔

harry would think you're so cute in the morning, the way your eyes are a little puffy and you refuse to get out of bed or let him get up vecause you just want to cuddle him 😔

harry would definitely kiss you and tease you with the most gentle touches and get you all worked up until you're begging him to do something 😌 he smirks and says "such a needy little thing, you've been good for me so I'll give you what you want" and moves to lay between your legs 😌

i think Harry would spit on you before he goes down on you 😌 he smirks at the way you tilt your head back and run your fingers through his hair and he says "you liked that, hm? filthy girl" and leans down to lick you 😌

i know harry is literally so good at going down on you what the fuuuuck and he's filthy too spitting on you and sucking on your clit and just making a mess 😵‍💫 spreading the wetness around and basically making out with you 😵‍💫 he usually has to hold your hips down because you're squirming so much from how good it feels 😵‍💫 when you cum he licks around so gently to clean you up and you're whining from how sensitive you are and he says "can you give me one more baby? just want to make you feel good again" 😵‍💫

he would literally be so turned on going down on you he's moaning against you which only makes it feel more intense and he would be grinding his hips down on the bed to get some friction 😵‍💫 as you're coming down he keeps kissing around your thighs and moving his fingers against your g spot and he says "I'm not done with you yet, I'm not stopping until my jaw is sore and you're begging me to stop" 😵‍💫

no harry would be such a mother hen if you got hurt around him he would be rushing to get a first aid kit even if it's nothing serious and then he's asking if you're okay a million times and kissing all over you and doing everything he can to make you feel better 😔

imagine harry being your first kiss 😔 he leans in so slow and gently presses his lips on yours 😔 he has his arms around you when he pulls away and he says "you're shaking... do i make you nervous?" not in a teasing way just checking on you bc he always wants you to be comfortable 😔 you shake your head and you're a little stuttery when you say "no i just- that was my first kiss" and he smiles a little and says "well I hope it was a good one" and you respond "I can definitely say it was the best kiss I've ever had" and he just laughs and says "you're a menace" and leans in to kiss you again 😔