#but look! i found a capybara :D

[motheatenscarf]

I will call him Speak :))

[alovesongtheywrote]

Heyyyy I just read Nightmare Academia, and I LOOOOVE IT!!! You're such a talented writer!! 🩷🩷🩷

♥ Summary: I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the fic :D In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, your author presents you a series of vignettes about you and Reid sharing an office. In other words- you and Reid share an office. Shenanigans ensue.

♥ Warnings: none? that i'm aware of?

♥ A/N: heyyyyy, what's uppppp, it's meeee. sorry this fic took 20 years, lmao. finals hit, im sure you understand. ANYWAY, enjoy the chapter. it's like, 3,000 words, i hope that makes up for it lol

♥ Word Count: 3,336

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

Working out of Spencer’s office was strange.  It wasn’t difficult, as one might expect.  You did not struggle to exist in the confines of that office- if anything, the opposite was true.  Working with Spencer was easy.  Being in his space and working by his side was as easy as breathing.  Despite the pranks, the general bitchiness, and your lingering guilt after the stabbing incident, you and Spencer were a good team.  You could put aside your feelings and get work done when it mattered.  

It was all very fucking weird.

That said, when it didn’t matter, absolutely no constructive work could be completed within your office.  By inviting you into his space, Spencer had unlocked a new universe of pranks for you.  You knew the password to his computer.  You had the key to every cabinet.  Everything you could ever dream of stealing was within reach.

You behaved accordingly.

-

Where most normal laptop-havers set their desktop images to pictures of family, friends, and/or big-tittied anime girls, Spencer left his desktop image on the factory setting.  It was the same default shit that came with any piece of new tech- but this hunk of metal and wire wasn’t new.   He’d had it for years and it was still the same image.  Boring.  Blank.  Impersonal and unrevealing.  Honestly, you weren’t sure if Spencer knew he could change the image, but that didn’t really matter.  Whether or not he knew, you would take the liberty of changing it for him.

You had to move quickly and strike carefully.  Despite being a technophobe, Reid wasn’t the type to leave his shit lying around.  You had to wait patiently for an opportunity, and when one arose, you had to make the most of it.  Spencer Reid would not have a sweet image of capybaras in an onsen.  He would not get a desktop image of sweet sleeping dogs.  That motherfucker would not be on the receiving end of anything wholesome or sweet.

You picked an image in advance.  You waited patiently- and when the window of opportunity finally swung open late one Tuesday afternoon?

You almost missed it.  It wasn’t your fault.  When Reid finally got up and left the room, you were a touch busy stealing one of the books off the shelf behind him.  By the time you noticed he was gone, you’d already placed some horny chunks of text bound by a tasteful cover in its place.

You could hear his footsteps down the hall.  You had to move quickly.

Every inch of your body seemed to crackle with a sort of electricity.  Your heart pounded in your chest, urged by the knowledge that you could be caught any second.  Your fingers raced over the keyboard as you found your chosen image.

When Reid returned to the room, you were back at the bookshelf, scanning the titles and pretending you hadn’t done anything wrong.  It was kind of hard to do when you were staring your smutty novels in the face, but still, you managed.

Your teeth grazed your lip as Spencer stepped into the room.  You could hear him place something on his desk, but you refused to look at him.  His eyes burned holes in the side of your head, you could feel it-

“Here,” he reached out to you, paper cup in hand, “I got you a coffee.”

“What?  How?  Why?” You stuttered out, completely failing to hide your shock.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, “Coffee.  With money.  Because it’s late and you’ve been working all day.  You know, the traditional thing to say in this situation is thank you.”

“I- Thank you,” you accepted the coffee, wrapping your hands around it tightly as if you could squeeze out your shame.

He smiled, smug and smarmy.  Your shame immediately dissipated.  This fucker deserved the cursed bullshit you’d set on his screen.

“You’re welcome, (L/N).”

He turned away from you, switching on his laptop and entering his password.  You watched him, silently sipping on your coffee.  It was perfect.  He’d memorized your coffee order.  Of fucking course he had.  That didn’t mean anything, right?  Spencer could memorize anything, it was all a part of the eidetic memory package.  He probably memorized every coffee order of every person he’d ever stood behind in every coffee shop he’d ever been to.  The fact that he knew your order meant-

“GOD-” Spencer pushed back from the desk, almost pushing his office chair right into your leg.  You looked up, a grin crossing your lips as you saw what had caused his outburst.

A hydra-like creature with a long fleshy body, several long slender necks, and multiple Furby-style faces stared out at you from the glowing screen of Spencer’s computer. 

It was the worst thing you could find, a terrible monster from the very depths of the internet- and it had the intended effect!  Spencer glared at his screen with horror and confusion, his face contorted by whatever rush of emotion he felt upon seeing the cursed thing in front of him.  A sense of euphoric joy spread through your body, burning away all the shame and confusion you felt.  

“You really can’t act like an adult for two seconds, can you?”

“Apparently not.  Thank you for the coffee?”

-

Whenever Spencer got on your nerves, you reorganized his files.  You hid folder upon folder of paperwork in the wrong place.  You switched files with other files on purpose.  You didn’t re-label anything- you weren’t a monster- but you did create such a mess that Spencer had to stay late for a few nights.  He didn’t mind, really.  In messing up his files, you had made a little mystery for him to solve.  He liked little mysteries.

Besides, on the nights he had to stay late, you stayed with him.  

On the floor.

That wasn’t too uncommon, honestly.  Reid’s office didn’t come with two desks- therefore, when one of you needed space, the other usually offered to take the floor as their dominion.  Re-arranging files took lots and lots of space, hence, you often found yourself on the ground.

One such late night, you sprawled yourself across the floor and angled your head to get a better view of Reid’s sorting.  His eyes darted across the page at a speed that some would call inhuman.  (You wouldn’t call it inhuman.  You would just call him a speedy boy.)  As he flipped through the papers before him, those eyes of his turned to you.

“Hi!” you greeted, “How goes the search?”

“You know you don’t have to stay late, right?”

“I know!  But I like watching you work.  Besides, the floor is comfortable.”

“I doubt that,” Spencer said, turning back to his sorting, “If you ask me, you’re here because you feel guilty for making me stay late.  I told you it’s fine, I-”

“Yeah, you like a paper trail, I know.  But I promise, Reid, I do not feel guilty.”

“Then maybe you just enjoy my presence?”  He looked back up at you, a shit-eating smirk painted on his face.  You wanted to smack it off of him.  Or maybe kiss it off of him?  However, if you were to kiss it off of him, you would definitely do so with unnecessary aggression.  Perhaps violence.

You let out an unconvincing laugh, “That’s ridiculous.  Be less ridiculous, Reid.”

“I don’t think I’m being ridiculous.  I think you’re in denial, (L/N).”

“Pft, denial.  You’re silly.  You’re a silly little guy,” you stood up, pulling yourself up and brushing yourself off.  You didn’t notice the way Spencer’s eyes followed your every movement, didn’t catch his gaze lingering on the small patch of skin that revealed itself as your shirt rode up.  

He almost snapped his neck when you turned back towards the desk.  He couldn’t let you catch him staring the way he was.

“My dear, dear Spencer Reid, I do not stay with you because I feel bad for making you work late,” you placed your hands on the desk, “Nor do I stay because I enjoy your presence.”

You pulled yourself up onto the desk, perching atop it.  This time, you noticed where Spencer’s gaze went and how it lingered on your thighs.  You had never felt more powerful in your life.  With a smirk, you reached out and placed two fingers beneath his chin, forcing him to look at you.  He took a deep, nervous breath, and you could feel him breathe beneath your fingers.  

“So why-” he choked, “Why do you stay here?  Just to try and flirt with me?”

“No,” you said, objectively flirting with him, “My darling doctor, I stay here because the floor is really fucking comfortable.  And I have work to do.”

His brows drew together as the cutest little pout crossed his face, “I don’t believe you.  There’s no way it’s that simple, I am sure you have an ulterior motive.”

You did.  You had several.  You felt bad for making Spencer work late, and you enjoyed his presence, and above all else, you wanted to make sure he got home safe and un-stabbed.  You weren’t gonna let Spencer know about that, though.

“Aw, pretty boy.  If I have any ulterior motive, it’s that I get to watch you suffer,” you lied.

With a huff, Spencer pulled his face from your grip and returned his focus to the mess you had made for him.  You smiled, but the grin on your face was nothing more than plastic, porcelain, fake material posing as real joy.  

“I still don’t believe you.”

Fucker.

“If you want to live in a world of delusion, that’s your decision.  All I can do is sit here and watch.”

He smirked, “Wow, (L/N).  I never pegged you as a voyeur.”

You responded to his quip like any reasonable mature adult would- you made a little sound and swatted some of the papers off of his desk.  Spencer just smiled and let his eyes move to a new paragraph.

You were going to kill that man.  Not that night, nor the nights that followed, but you were sure.  One of those mother fuckin nights, Reid would meet his end by your hand.  Or maybe by your thighs.

-

Spencer Reid might’ve been a renowned doctor with multiple PhDs, but he still wasn’t smart enough to hide his property from your thieving gremlin hands.  Before you had moved into his cozy little office, your acts of petty theft were limited to small things.  Mugs, for example.  Or books.  Now, though, you had access to all his worldly possessions- or at least all the worldly possessions that he kept in his office.

You’d taken his keys a few times.  The first time you’d done that, he practically kicked down the office door in a panic.  He’d searched the office desperately, throwing papers around and checking every drawer, only stopping when he saw your smiling face.  

The most recent time you took his keys, he’d just sighed and stared at you expectantly, his hand open and waiting.  You were super tempted to lick him, but you held back.  You just gave him back his keys.  

Mugs, books, and keys weren’t the end of it, though.  You stole chess pieces, office supplies, a desk lamp, and at one point, you nabbed one of Spencer’s fucking degrees.  (It was just hanging on the wall, taunting you.  You had to take it.)

Your favourite incident of theft, though, was a scarf.  During the colder months, Spencer usually wore a purple scarf, but this one was different.  He didn’t wear it as frequently- it was long, generally tan with stripes of orange, purple, and green.  The wool that made it up was unbelievably soft beneath your fingers.  You never wanted to let that scarf go.  So you didn’t.

You took it.  

And you kept it.  

You were cold, your neck was scarfless, and he left a lovely soft scarf right in front of you for you to grab.  So you grabbed it.  And you wore it.  And you looked hot.  And you were hot- literally.  

It was a good thing that you’d nabbed the scarf when you did.  The very next day, the heating system that kept the campus warm during the colder months mysteriously broke down.  You came into work expecting the usual warmth only to find that everything was fucking freezing.  You were fortunate.  You still had the scarf in your bag.

Without another thought, you wrapped it around your neck and curled up into a tiny ball behind the desk.  

Spencer was not so fortunate.  You see, dear reader, our sweet former FBI agent hadn’t realized his scarf had been kidnapped.  Upon returning home the night before, he noted the lack of scarf and assumed that he’d left it in his office.  That’s right.  The man with the eidetic memory just assumed he’d forgotten something- not just something.  The nerdy scarf that he’d spent months working on.

Please forgive him, he’s secretly like, half a himbo.  A half himbo in disguise.  A halfbo incognito.  Anyway.

His assumption left him scarfless, and that morning, Spencer burst into the office, desperate and searching once more.  And then, he saw you wearing his scarf.  The Doctor Who scarf.  The scarf he’d knit himself, the scarf that had spent hours and hours in his hands, that scarf wrapped around your neck.  He froze.  The panic he had felt in the moments before faded away to nothing.  

No.  Not nothing.  It just faded to a different kind of panic.  An, “Oh my god, my cute co-worker is wearing a scarf I made,” type of panic.  A, “Holy shit, my mortal enemy is wearing something rope-like that I made around their neck what kind of day IS THIS,” type of panic.  

An, “Oh god, oh man, my cute co-worker is wearing something I made around their neck to keep warm in the cold,” kind of panic.

Put another way, Spencer went from one kind of panic to several kinds of panic, all before you looked up from your paperwork to catch his wide-eyed gaze.

“Good morning, Dr. Reid,” you said, reaching up to tuck the scarf tighter around your neck, as if you could hide it with such a simple gesture, “How are you?”

“I-” he stood there for a few moments, staring at you and willing the blush on his cheeks to stop burning.  It didn’t.  It burned harder.  Finally, Spencer choked out something, “Is that my scarf?”

“Perhaps,” you drew out the word, curling further into the chair and away from Spencer, “Why?”

“Well, first and foremost, the temperature is thirteen degrees lower than normal-”

“Did you check the thermostat?”  Your words were quiet, mumbled underneath your breath as an expression of genuine confusion rather than a petty, bitchy quip.

“Secondly, my scarf- my scarf that looks suspiciously similar to the one you’re wearing now- is missing.  At first I thought I misplaced it, but then… well,” he gestured vaguely to you, to the fabric draped around your throat, “I managed to put the pieces together.”

You pulled back further.  Spencer just rolled his eyes and stepped into the office.  He slapped his hands down on the desk, letting a loud bang echo through the room.  He smirked at the tiny squeak that escaped you.  Fucker.

“Well?” you asked, voice quiet and hands tight around the scarf, “Care to share, profiler boy?”

He scoffed, though the smile on his lips was genuine, “It wasn’t that difficult.  I came to work missing my scarf and the first thing I saw was my scarf wrapped around your neck.”

“Ah.  The case solved itself,” you paused, biting the inside of your cheek.  Another shiver ran through you, “I suppose you’ll want this back?”

Before you could move to remove the scarf, Spencer held up a hand to stop you, “Keep it.  At least, for now.  It’s cold, and I’ve got a sweater around here somewhere, and you-”

“Are a sweaterless bitch, yes, that’s an accurate take.”

Spencer choked and spluttered, his pink-toned cheeks burning an even darker red, “I- I wouldn’t put it like that-”

“That’s cool,” you shrugged, unfurling your body from the confines of the office chair, “I put it like that.  I am a bitch sans-sweater.  Sweaterless bitch.”

He put a hand up to his face, covering his eyes as he whispered a tiny little curse word.  You just smirked, pulling the scarf tighter around your neck as you stretched your legs out beneath the desk.

Spencer was pretty sure he was going to combust at this point.  You weren’t aware of this- but even so, you still managed to make his day harder.

“So, where did you get this?  It’s soft as fuck, I want, like, fifteen of them.”

Somehow, Spencer managed to avoid choking again, “I, uh, I made that.”

The smile that crossed your lips was blinding, “No shit?  Fuck.  You’re more talented than I thought, Dr. Reid.”

“Thank you?” He paused, awkwardly shuffling into the room and setting up for the day, “So, do you watch Doctor Who?”

“Oh shit,” you looked down at the scarf as it cascaded down your body, “Is this a Doctor Who thing?”

“It’s a replica of the scarf worn by Tom Baker who portrayed the fourth doctor from 1974 to 1981.  The original scarf was actually twenty feet long- the woman who made it wasn’t told how long the scarf needed to be, so she used all the yarn she was given.  It was only shortened slightly for the show’s production, but overall, the end result was very well loved by- oh,” he cut himself off, “Sorry.  I’ll-”

“Wait, why did you stop?”

Spencer raised an eyebrow, “Because I’m rambling?  And I’m sure you have work to do?  And you don’t watch the show, so-”

“Work?  Work is boring.  Give me the scarf lore.”

“The scarf lore for a show you don’t even watch?”

“Yes!  Look, I’ve always taken a more Rocky Horror route when it comes to sci-fi, but I might have to get into Doctor Who because of this.”

“You should!” Spencer lit up, practically glowing with excitement as he took a seat on the desk, “Especially the newer stuff, I think you’d really like what Russell T Davies has to offer as a showrunner.”

“Do you?” you leaned forward, trying not to grin, trying not to show that you were just as excited as he was.  You failed, “Tell me more, then.”

He did.  The two of you whiled away that morning, ignoring the cold in exchange for an impromptu lecture about British television.

-

A few hallways away, Professor Belker (the head of the criminology department) sat at her desk.  Before her, in two chairs, sat professors Peters and Evans.

“So…” Evans began, rubbing his arms as a weak defence against the cold.

“So,” Belker agreed.  None of them needed to state what they were agreeing upon.  Peters stated it anyway.

“Spencer and (Y/N) are fucking, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“It’s practically a guarantee at this point.  You don’t share an office with your mortal enemy unless you and that enemy are having… relations.”

“Wow, ‘mortal enemy.’  That’s intense, Belker,” Evans’ eyes got wide.

“It is.  I’m quoting them directly,” Belker replied, her body weighed down in a way that told the other profs that she had heard that quote a million times.

“Well, it was a good move to shut the heat off.  I saw (Y/N) with Spencer’s scarf, so…” Peters gave a large and unsubtle wink.

“I didn’t shut the heat off.  I thought about it, but-”

“It couldn’t have been you, Belk,” Evans interrupted, “I saw the preliminary report.  The power shut off in the middle of the night.”

“Huh.  That’s odd.”

“Odd indeed.”

A few more hallways away, a book fell off one of the many shelves in your office.  Your office.  The haunted office.  The ghost was getting her way, and lord help anyone who tried to stop her.

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @currentfications, @ilse235, @emagen, @foolishwaitersblog if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know :D

[purple-pigeon-art]

Looking through my art for things to make into stickers and found this capybara i made a couple years ago :D

[sharptoothed-gaze]

31,5,2 and 18 :D

31. What lore/arc have you enjoyed the most?

Very recent stuff, but I love what both Philza and Tubbo are cooking right now! They have fantastic rp skills and I’m hella invested in the stories they’re telling.

I have been loving the slow burn of Philza’s lore with his hc deities. Watching it all come together with the possession and him suddenly acting so cruelly to his children hit me so hard. I actually couldn’t look away.

And everything about Creation has given me the biggest appreciation for Tubbo’s storytelling! I miss Creation and I want them back. Also, that arc revealed soooo much complexity to qTubbo’s character that I didn’t even realize I was missing. (I feel like I understand enough that I’ll probably do an analysis of the character in the future!)

(Honorable mention! Any and all qTina demon lore. I drop everything I’m doing the second I get a crumb of demon lore.)

~~~~

5. Favorite character dynamics (Duos, groups, etc.)

Not gonna lie, above anything else, I am deeply fascinated by Landduo! Their friendship/rivalry is unlike any other I’ve seen before. I want to put Foolish and Bad in a jar and study them.

The only Qsmp Vod I’ve ever searched for and watched in my almost year in this fandom was the 3 hour fish fight. I was so invested in the psychology of that entire thing. Those two fundamentally understand each other and how weirdly their minds work and it just plays sooo well into the idea that they’re immortals who are linked through lifetimes.

~~~~

2. Favorite and/or comfort character

Philza, Foolish, Tina and Tubbo have all been my favorites lately! Not an ounce of comfort to be found in that list other than Foolish b/c he offsets the tragedy with silly lol. I just love angst and these block people hit my brain good. I could probably write an essay about each of them.

Plus, so much hurt/comfort can be stored in the Felipe Minecraft and the Death Family <3

~~~~

18. Favorite side character/non island resident

Probably the Elisangela the Capybara or Agent 18! I appreciate that Capy’s bloodlust and I know Agent 18 is an asshole, but he’s MY asshole character.

[panzershrike-pretz]

💐 once you receive this lovely bouquet of flowers you have to mention five things you love, publicly, and send it to 10 of your favorite followers if you want. SPREAD POSITIVITY! ⛅️

HELLO CLAIRE!! HAPPY TO SES YOU HERE :D LOVE U

1. Nature. I love nature. I adore sitting on river banks, looking at the water or appreciating the trees and vegetation. I love birdwatching and trying to see if I can catch a glimpse of any wild animals (which is rare but so amazing!), like coatis, marmosets, capybaras, agoutis and bush dogs!

2. Now this may sound strange but I like to find dead stuff. Normally I find them on the beach (be it dead fish, dead turtles or even a dead armadillo i found this week?, rarely in the city). I have a fascination with death and dead stuff, which kind of is one of the reasons for my love of Taxidermy

3. Collecting things! I collect feathers, rocks, shells, bones (only two yet), plushies, toys (from when I was a kid), magnets, books, sticks, buttoms- pretty much anything I can find actually. I also want to start collecting dry plants and insects, tho I'm stilldebating with that-

4. I love dinosaurs! Or pretty much any extinct animals, actually- especilly the Thylacine 😭💕. My fave dinosaur is the Archaeopteryx!

5. History! My favorite parts of history are the Second World War and the Golden Age of Piracy, tho I do like many ither parts of it! I like to learn about Brazilian History, the Witch Trials and women's fashion after the Dark Ages (mainly from 1700 to 1950, tbh). I'm no expert in jack shit but I love it!

[absolutepokemontrash]

ayo!! congrats on 666 <33 I'm not sure if its much of a request but I love how you wrote the demon kids personalities! I was wondering what kids of personalities you would see the other brothers kids having? Hypothetically of course (unless 👀)

BRO- I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while! Fan kids are fun to think about, what can I say? Now, these kids aren’t canon to the Awfully Familiar series, the HOL is crowded enough as is… but I hope you enjoy anyways!

(I’m giving all the kids names just so no one gets confused with which kid is whose)

Levi’s Kid

Uh let’s use probability to figure out how rare children of our snek boy are. The Otaku left the house (unlikely), spoke to a human being (very unlikely), did the devil’s tango with them (impossible)

I’m kidding, but seriously what the fuck why did this human exchange student look so much like Levi? Was that a tail? Hehehe… what a weird practical joke…

(I’m calling this MC Percy. Three guesses as to why)

Okay, onto the kiddo’s personality. I’m picturing them being REALLY hyped and REALLY enthusiastic about their hobbies and isn’t afraid to yammer about them. They’re good at what they do and they’re damn proud of it! They turn their envy into *~inspiration~* and get better at the things they enjoy doing!

In all fairness to Levi, it’s a bit easier for his kid because Percy isn’t literally being eaten alive and consumed by this sin every waking moment of his life… perks of being half human! :D

Percy loves swimming, and the ocean, and fish, and they brought a shark back from the beach- wait hang on a second-

It’s not uncommon for Levi to be hardcore gaming while Percy swims around in the fish tank.

The pair of them have a very good relationship, Percy is kind of Levi’s hero with how eager they are to get better at the things they love doing and how they almost never self pity spiral. The one issue is… ugh… Percy is a 🤢…. Sorry. Percy’s a 🤢 🤢-

They’re A FUCKING NORMIE. THEY DON’T LIKE ANIME!

Other than that, the two get along swimmingly. (Ba dum tisssss)

Percy’s reaction to Levi’s cool military titles is basically “WOAH! YOU HAVE BOATS?! CAN I GO ON ONE?!” And Levi would be a monster to decline.

Percy wore a pirate hat despite Levi telling them numerous times that they were a part of the navy, they CATCH pirates. Which are apparently still a big problem in the Devildom…

Also, Percy and Lotan absolutely adore each other. It makes Levi very happy

Satan’s Kid

Satan’s a pretty charming guy, and it’s canon that he’s amazing at seductive speech craft so it’s no surprise that he was able to seduce a human.

You know what is a surprise? The fact that Satan, the smart one, didn’t think to use protection! Like- DUDE I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU.

Whatever, anyway, when this kid slammed onto the floor of the assembly hall no one had time to react when the kid suddenly grew horns… and fangs… and a tail… OH FUCK THE KID WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR FIRST TRANSFORMATION WHAT THE FUCK-

(For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to call this kid Lyssa, mainly because of the meaning of the name)

The first thing Lyssa did was launch themselves straight at the first person they saw, and I ask you to guess exactly who sits in the middle seat of the assembly hall. That’s right… Satan… yay…

This kid nearly clawed his face off in the span of two seconds and it took Lucifer and Beel working together to drag them off of him and then Asmo had to step in to use his powers to calm them down. Well. That was eventful.

So Lyssa has a volcanic temper and they’re honestly really bitter and upset at everything, which is something that’s supposed to come in adult life, not so early. So what’s up with this kid? Well, when you’re born with a burning rage deep inside you that can be set off at even the slightest inconvenience and because of that everyone around you immediately assumes you’re dangerous or crazy can really do some damage to a kid.

So who oh who is Lyssa going to blame for this…? Hmmm… who is responsible for the anger? *Side eyes Satan*

“Wow, this kid is blaming me for passing down my wrath even though I couldn’t control giving it to them and if I had the choice I would have made sure they wouldn’t have to live with it and they’re mad at me for subjecting them to existence itself… wow this feels so bad :( who would treat someone like this..?” “*Dad sigh*”

The two of them do eventually get along. It’s actually Satan who extends the olive branch and offers to help them control their anger. As the two spend time together, Lyssa’s intense hatred slowly subsides.

So… what’s Lyssa going to do now? They’ve spent so much of their life being defined by their anger… who the fuck are they????? U-uh… cats! Cats! Lyssa likes cats! Is liking cats a personality? No? Okay… um… Music! Music is relaxing! Lyssa likes music! Um… um… ooo- look at that! They like space! And stars!

You knew what they don’t like? School. Lyssa doesn’t like learning in a controlled environment where they’re being told what to learn. Leave them alone so they can go read about space.

Beelzebub’s kid(s)

*munch* *munch* *chew* *chomp* huh, *chomp* why does the takeout- I mean the human look so much like him…? They’re his kid..? *choke* *cough* *cough* …Huh. Want some chips?

Surprisingly chill first meeting. Well, Beel and the kid were chill, everyone else was freaking the fuck out.

I’m calling this kid Pepper. Why? Fucking guess.

Pepper themselves is just… chill. They’re sort of like a capybara, their vibes are just so immaculate that everyone wants to hang out around them.

Unlike Beel, Pepper’s penchant for food mainly comes from “food is good.” instead of “my body is literally eating itself alive every second of the day and I need to be eating something at almost all times in order to stave off a rampage.” Beel is very happy that his kid doesn’t have to live with food constantly on the brain.

All was well until three days into the exchange program when Pepper asked at the dinner table “so when are we bringing my twin down here?”

…twin genes man… twin genes…

Second kid, I’m calling them Cane. (CANE PEPPER, GET IT?! GET IT?!) this kid is less like a capybara and more like a honey badger. They don’t give a shit.

Here’s the thing though… they’re identical twins.

Cane is basically Beel but smaller. They follow Beel to the gym and usually get stopped at the door. “Kids aren’t allowed in the gym.” Ha, the rules don’t apply to Cane, they just cross their arms and raise their eyebrows and whoever is stopping them just steps aside. Don’t fuck with the honey badger kid.

Pepper and Cane are super close though, but don’t ask if they have a telepathic link or something, Cane will fuck you up and Pepper won’t be able to stop them. (I know a pair of identical twins, and the amount of times they’ve been asked if they can read each other’s minds is enough to make anyone homicidal)

Belphegor’s kid

*squints* how’d this happen..?

Whatever. When Belphie’s kid woke up on the floor of the assembly hall everyone took one look at this kid and collectively went “shitballs”

Belphie was in the attic and his kid was wandering around the house like they ran the place! What the fuuuuuuuuck was Lucifer supposed to do with this????

Anyway, meet Arien.

Arien, how does one describe this little hellspawn? Well, one would call them the brood of Lucifer or the spawn of Satan but that would be false because this manipulative evil devil-child that crawled straight out of a teacher’s nightmares is BELPHIE’S kid. And it fucking SHOWS.

This kid won the demon/human genetic lottery and they’re going to make it everyone’s problem. Basically, they’re sin is sloth, but unlike Belphie, Arien’s is more voluntary, if that makes sense. They sleep and slack off because they like not doing work, not because they’re always tired. They have this sort of lazy relaxed facade that vanishes the second it’s not needed, it’s honestly kind of terrifying.

They quickly learn that if they just pretend to be having troubles with being constantly tired, the rest of the house will go easy on them if they miss their chores and schoolwork.

Jeez Louise when this kid met Belphie…

They both just stared at each other for a solid five minutes before anyone said anything. Belphie somewhat nervously started up his “oh woe is me get me out of here :(“ charade, and the kid played along for a few weeks, until of course, they got suspicious.

You remember how Belphie guilt spiralled with L!MC? Yeah imagine that but 40 times worse, and he hadn’t even done anything yet.

But yeah, blah blah blah Arien breaks Belphie out, they don’t die, family’s back together, happily ever after. But not quite. Arien’s “oh no I’m sorry I’m sleepy…” charade was found out and boy howdy was everyone pissed.

Surprisingly, it was Belphie who gave Arien the wake up thwack, but Arien called Belphie out on his laziness so Belphie was forced to become a better example.

The way they fixed Ari’s behaviour? Extra chores, extra schoolwork, extra everything, and the boys did nothing to help. Basically, “this is how we felt! Deal with it!”

It worked… thankfully.

[loneamaryllis]

I had to delete some paragraphs from my comment bcs it wouldn't have sent otherwise, but I wanted you to know how I went wild after seeing the e-mail notification it updated. It went sth like this.

AO3 is a pool park for this visual and each fic is a pool that changes water with the update. The author is a lifeguard at their fic pool.

(Capybara Rac sees a notification and opens the e-mail. Rac’s eyes almost bulge out of the skull. Rac jumps from the sunbed, grabs diving gear, races to the AO3 Pool Park, sprinting through the crowd. A few people look in confusion as Rac zooms through the pool park. 

“What's up with Rac?” asked one. 

“Oh, Precious Horcrux updated. Rac’s running to read it.” answered the second person. 

Rac zooms into the Precious Horcrux pool area, climbs up the ladder to the springboard. Rac looks down into the pool titled Precious Horcrux Chapter 8, then jumps headfirst off the springboard into the pool. Looking from the lifeguard tower, loneamaryllis blinks “I updated it only eight minutes ago.” while watching Rac swim in the water of the new chapter)

Also, this part on Harrymort’s talk about love that I had to delete. 😭

I liked their discussion about love. Overall discussion is very interesting... Voldemort is absolutely obsessed with Harrie. If anyone took Harrie from him he'd tear them apart. He's an evil dum-dum (affectionate) who would raze the world for his precious Horcrux. 🥰

Addition over! Also, love how you said tiny Harrie tugged at Voldemort's heart. 🥰🥰🥰 Nobody can resist tiny Harrie.

I'll need a week to function normally again. Sending love 💖💖💖

I can absolutely picture you jumping headfirst into the chapter. :D

They'll probably talk about love again. It's one of their most major disagreements, and they have such different views on it, it's too nice a subject not to explore.

I shudder to imagine how he would react if Harrie was taken from him. If she escaped, he'd be inconvenienced, but there would be a part of him that would relish hunting her down. But taken from him, and kept prisoner by a third party that's not sympathetic to her? They really would not want to be found in this case...

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter :D

[elithingswell]

Hi I've OFMD-ified Slumberland

who can i hire to write this pls

so Alma and Stede live alone in a lighthouse on a small island. They're very close and every night he tells her tall tales of sailing with the great Blackbeard. One night Alma has a terrifying Kraken nightmare, and wakes to find Stede is lost at sea and presumed dead. Alma, now orphaned, has no choice but to move in with her dad's former best friend, Ed. They used to be sailors together and were super close until Stede married Mary and settled down in the lighthouse. Neither Stede or Mary had any family, and as surprised as Ed is that he was in Stede's will at all, he can't send Stede's kid to the state so he very reluctantly takes her in.

(maybe there was the option to send her to Stede's Dad, a cruel grandfather she never met, but his will asked that Ed be contacted first and when Ed was faced with sending her to the state or THAT MAN, he said fine i'll take her i guess).

He's absolutely horrible at it. Not kid friendly, cant' connect with her and his very misguided in his "efforts". He's pretty immature and refuses to "grow up" or "Deal with feelings". he's basically a hermit, sticking to the safety of his pillow-fort-like apartment and his fridge full of marmalade.

Meanwhile Alma's been slipping in and out of slumberland and she actually meets the blackbeard of her dad's tales, and he actually seems to know her dad and validate all his tales. i'll be honest i was only half listening to the plot but i think they both wanna find pearls to achieve their respective dreams right?? (Blackbeard remembering who he was in the waking world and Alma seeing her dad again)

So plot happens and they're navigating slumberland while being chased by Alma's nightmare Kraken, and also dream cop Izzy Hands who's been hunting Blackbeard for 30 years but is actually really kind to Alma and urges her to give up on her search for the pearls so she doesn't get stuck in slumberland and become someone like blackbeard. All while in the real life, Alma finds the map/lies to her school/fights with Ed/finally runs away back home in the little sailboat Ed got her in an attempt to bond ("Ta-da!!! It's named the revenge, after the ship your dad and i used to sail on"). She also figures out Ed is Blackbeard after he casually mentions the silly nicknames Stede and Ed had for each other while on the job (the gentleman pirate and blackbeard obvs) and everything clicks.

Anyway final scene happens. Alma uses her pearl to wake up Blackbeard. I reeeally dont like character death and i so far have avoided it in the OFMD fandom so this can go two ways. if its really character death she can have a final dream convo with her dad where hes like "i taught you everything so you could explore the world not live on an island" and "please look out for ed hes a wild man on the inside".

OR. Alma only gets one pearl and decides she can move on with her life without that final convo with her dad, which is really how i thought the movie was gonna go.

EITHER WAY:

Ed gets his groove back and saves Alma from drowning. Ending is picking up Alma from school in a leather jacket, looking much more cool and relaxed, and flirting with her teacher who is probably Lucius tbh cos he'd be the only one running around going "can someone PLEASE care about this child's mental health?!" and b e g g i n g Ed to please talk about his feelings for the love of G O D. Bonus at the end maybe lucius is like "hey we've been missing you at the gay bars we're waiting for you to come back" and ed like yeah i think i will, like signifying his return to community and him leaving his pillow fort life behind idk lol.

OR. Bonus not charater death ending cos i dont like that: at the very end, instead of or maybe after flirting with the teacher, Stede is actually found at sea and returns to Alma and Ed.

or maybe spanish jackie is the dream cop and izzy is the pig L M F A OOOOOOOO. oh wait hes not a pig hes a capybara LOLLLLLLLL

*OH also i want the reason for Stede to marry Mary is that Mary was ready. Maybe they were old family friends and had family pressure to settle down, which honestly is what Stede really wanted to do, he was excited to have a family. Maybe he bought a lighthouse and asked Ed to live with him in it, but Ed was terrified by the permanency of everything and Stede ended up leaving with Mary, who he really did love and was bffs with. So Ed absolutely spiraled and stopped dreaming. and started to be an immature brat loll.

ANYWAY YEAH SOMEONE MAKE THIS HAPPEN PLS THIS IS THE LITERAL EXTENT OF MY WRITING SKILLS THANK U :))))))

[bosspigeon]

Carabosse et la Fee des Lilas

Prompt: 💋Drag

Pairing: Adam/Male Detective, Bonus Found Family Vibes~

Words: 5,346

Summary: Tina spends some quality time with Arlo and Unit Bravo as they prepare for Wayhaven's first real Pride festival, Tina torments her best friend and his maybe-boyfriend (as is her god-given right), and Arlo has a big think about his favorite role and what that role allowed him to explore~

CW for references to transmisogyny and implications of past trans/homophobia

Sometimes, Tina wonders if Arlo missed his true calling. His hands are surgeon-steady as he pencils delicate patterns onto Felix’s cheeks, outlining with white eyeliner in preparation to fill them in with bold colors and glitter. Tina almost can’t wait for her turn, even though Felix looks like he’s in real, physical pain with the effort of holding as still as possible. She’s no stranger to that struggle herself.

Neither is she a stranger to Arlo’s forceful, if toothless, threats, overcome as she is by fondness when he growls that he's going to draw a mustache on Felix’s face with permanent marker if he doesn’t stop bloody bouncing.

It’s pretty fun to watch from the outside. Sure, when you first sit down when he’s like this—all sharp and snappish and “stop moving or I’ll chuck you out the window”—it’s hard to keep still, but Arlo’s got this sort of quiet intensity to him when he’s focusing on something that’s oddly meditative. He’s just a soothing presence, really. Like a capybara or something. He’s friend-shaped.

Whatever weird magic it is, it’s definitely catching, because Felix looks less like he’s about to burst, like he did when Arlo was putting down the foundation, and more like he’s enjoying the attention. Tina’s not sure how long it’s going to last, seeing as Felix has given her a run for her money in the “manic energy” department, and he’s nowhere near as caffeinated as she is at any given time, but for the time being, he’s (mostly) still and quiet.

There’s music playing, quiet enough that the broody one (she knows his name, but it seems to bug him when she calls him "the broody one," which is funny, so—) only grumbled about it for a few minutes when Arlo turned it on, and even seems to enjoy sitting close enough to Arlo’s stupidly fancy stereo system to, she guesses, feel the rumble of the bass through the floor. Vampires are weird.

Anyway, it’s Arlo’s usual sad goth boy nonsense, but as quiet as it is, and with its intense instrumentals and rumbling vocals, it’s pleasant background noise more than anything.

Nate (the handsome and charming one, because of course all Arlo’s vampire friends are handsome, so she has to differentiate between them somehow) is rifling through Arlo’s bookshelf like it’s his job, and visibly struggling to pick something to read, because Arlo’s sitting room bookshelf (the one she found at a yard sale three hours away and lashed to the top of her sedan with every single bungee cord she could find at the local hardware store because it was coffin-shaped, for god's sake) is where he keeps all his weirdo occult stuff to, quote, “make people who pop by unannounced leave faster.”

And then there’s the big, handsome, stupidly fit blonde Arlo still won’t call his boyfriend, even though they’re so obvious it’s sickening, and she means that with all the love in her heart. He’s sitting in the armchair by the bookshelf, positioned so he can look like he’s reading one of Arlo’s old music magazines and totally isn’t taking advantage of the perfect line of sight of Arlo perched on the end of his coffee table so he’s not too tall to work on Felix, sitting in a chair from the kitchen. Tina sure hopes he doesn’t think he’s subtle, being a super special vampire secret agent and all.

He seems to notice her eyeing him, at least, and keeps his attention pinned firmly on the magazine, though he is definitely not reading a single word. Nate keeps browsing, the Broody One keeps brooding, Arlo keeps working, and Felix starts to hum. Arlo gives him a sharp look, but it doesn’t seem to be moving his face in any major way, so he just rolls his eyes and keeps tracing pretty patterns onto that unfairly smooth, dark skin. Do vampires do skin care? They probably don’t even need to, and that’s probably one of the reasons people like to villainize them. It always comes down to jealousy, doesn’t it?

She sighs, loudly enough that every eye in the room turns to her, and while she did not expect the sudden attention, she knows she can at least use it to entertain herself. She homes in on Adam, and smiles when she finally looks at the magazine he’s still valiantly pretending to read. There’s a familiar man on the cover, and while she can’t be bothered to remember his name, she grins. “Oh, hey! Arlo, he’s reading the one with the guy who looks like you!”

Arlo doesn’t even look up, but he huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes again. He’s going to give himself a headache if he keeps that up.

The comment does exactly what she wants it to, which is draw the attention of all the other vampires. Arlo even begrudgingly pulls the pencil away from Felix’s cheek so he can take a look, and he immediately bursts out laughing.

“Arlo!” he exclaims, slapping at Arlo’s knee. “You didn’t tell us you had a twin!”

Nate chuckles (warm and rich and handsome, if a sound can be called handsome) and turns from the shelf to study the magazine curiously himself. Even the Broody One peers over to see, a little smirk curling his permanently-scowling mouth.

“Considering he was born in the sixties, I definitely don’t,” Arlo drawls. “Tina’s been making that joke since we were kids. She’s just happy she’s got an audience who hasn’t heard it twelve times a week since she first saw my old Type O Negative poster.”

“Some jokes just get better with time,” Tina says archly. “Like a fine wine.”

“And some jokes age like milk,” Arlo fires back.

Adam tilts the magazine so he can look for himself, and his dour expression clouds over even more, brows furrowing and mouth twisting. He peers up at Arlo, studying him, then down again.

Got you. “Yeah, you’re right,” Tina says, nodding sagely at him. “Arlo’s much prettier.”

It has exactly the reaction she was hoping for. Arlo drops his eyeliner pencil and makes a strangled noise, glowering at her with his cute freckly cheeks going all red, and Adam, who is a good bit paler than Arlo, goes pink from the crewneck of his just-this-side-of-too-tight tee shirt to his hairline. Tina wants to punch the air as the other vampires snicker at them. Well, except for Nate. Nate’s not a snickerer. He chortles. It’s adorable.

“Speaking of pretty!” Felix crows once they’ve all had a laugh at their fearless leader’s expense. He points to his own face with both hands, dancing in his chair, and Arlo sighs and rolls his eyes again, bending to pick up the dropped pencil. Luckily, the tip isn’t broken, so he can get right back to work, once he’s given the young vampire a moment to get his wiggles out. He settles, sitting on his hands and pursing his lips when Arlo gives him a dry look. He hovers back in with the pencil, and then Felix blurts out, “How’d you get so good at this anyway? Well, I assume you’re good at it. I haven’t seen it yet.”

Arlo doesn’t say anything. He just looks at him, pencil poised, until Felix pinches his mouth shut with a quick little apology. Once Arlo’s satisfied his canvas is actually going to hold still and keep quiet, he gets back to it. “My school was pretty small, especially compared to the bigger-name performing arts schools out there,” he says after a moment of quiet focus, tracing the outline of a heart around one of Felix’s eyes. “Our department didn’t really have a huge budget, and workspace was at a premium too. We didn’t have a lot of time to prepare for performances before someone else had to use the theatre, so we all did our own makeup at once, for the most part. Sometimes we’d help each other out, because we all had our strengths and weaknesses.”

He pulls back the pencil, squinting critically at the heart like it’s not completely perfect. “Demi was the best at laying the groundwork, and at matching colors to our costumes and complexions. Viv was the best at coming up with concepts and making sure we looked like a matching set. Wendi could do insane prosthetics, and was the best at bullying our department head into giving us the money for them. I had the steadiest hands, so I always did the eyes and the details.”

“Was Wendi the one who did your Dracula look?” Tina gasps. “That one was so cool!”

“Dracula?” Felix blurts. Tina doesn’t miss how the others perk up with interest too.

Arlo glares at him, and he shrinks back with a sheepish little grin. “Yeah, we did Dracula, uh… second year, I think? That was when Tilly transferred in and started doing our choreography. She’s the one who got Professor Dacey to let us do less classical stuff and start branching out a bit.” He glances briefly at Tina, staunchly ignoring the way Felix pouts at him for dividing his attention. “And, yeah, Wendi did the prosthetics for that one.”

“She’s got to be magic,” Tina asserts. “She managed to make your sweet, mopey face look so scary.”

Felix and Mason both snicker at that, and Arlo’s mouth goes all lemon-sour pinchy, like it always does when she calls him a sad puppy man, or any variation thereof.

“Take a lap,” Arlo says to Felix. “Don’t touch your face.” He jerks his head at Tina when Felix bolts to his feet and starts zooming around the flat to get out some of his energy. “Your turn, if you’re done being a comedian.”

“I’m never done,” she says with a sunny smile, but she bounces over to take Felix’s place in the chair and closes her eyes serenely so he can start on her makeup.

“And, God, do I know it,” he grumbles under his breath, knowing full well she can hear him, and so can everyone else in the room, too.

“Do you have pictures?” Felix hollers. He’s dipped into Arlo’s studio, and he’s making no secret of rifling through the desk in there, drawers slamming and paper rustling.

Arlo tips his head back so when he sighs, loud and dramatically long-suffering, he’s not blowing his breath right in Tina’s face. She appreciates the gesture. “Bottom right drawer,” he calls back, resignation thick in his voice. Given how long he’s been putting up with Tina—and Felix might just be Tina’s second platonic soulmate (Arlo, of course, being the first)—he already knows that keeping quiet is just prolonging the inevitable. Tina opens her eyes briefly to see Felix come sailing out of the studio with a thick leather-bound album held triumphantly over his head.

“Oh, I haven’t seen that in years!” she coos happily.

Arlo bops her on the forehead pointedly with a sponge covered in foundation, and she closes her eyes obediently.

She hears Arlo’s antique sofa creak as Felix plops down onto it, rifling through the plastic pages. “Aw,” he whines, “no baby pictures?”

“I can’t imagine him ever being a baby,” Mason snorts, and he sounds closer than he was before. Tina knows better than to open her eyes while Arlo’s in the zone, though. He’ll bop her with something less soft than a sponge next time. “I figured he’s just always been a giant.”

Felix laughs, high and chiming. “No wonder Agent Priestley’s always so sour, then,” he says. Tina giggles, and it becomes an inelegant snort when Arlo bops her again on the nose.

“Ask Rebecca if you want to see my baby pictures,” Arlo mutters blandly, and Tina can feel the weight of his attention. “I doubt she has many after age two, and the ones before I’ve barely seen.”

Tina’s not a super-special supernatural secret agent, but she tries with all her might to will someone to change the subject before things get weird. Now’s as good a time as any to learn telepathy.

Felix, heart of her heart, interrupts what’s shaping up to be a real prize winner of an awkward silence with a loud gasp. “Woah!” he exclaims, and pages crinkle as he presumably holds up the book for Arlo to see. “Who’s this? Did you do her makeup too?”

Arlo’s hair rustles as he turns his head away from her, and then the hand on her cheek freezes. Tension radiates through every inch of his body, practically leaching into hers. She cautiously opens one eye, and sees Arlo sitting up impeccably straight, stiff as a board and staring at Felix like a deer in the headlights. He swallows so hard she can see his throat move. “Um,” he says, stilted and strange. “Yeah. I did.”

Tina opens both eyes and squints at the photo album. Oh.

Felix looks at the sudden strain in the way Arlo is sitting, the tightness of his posture, and looks quizzically down at the picture again.

Tina remembers that performance. She remembers Arlo dancing (ha) around the subject when she asked him teasingly if he was going to be playing the prince, who was the lead, was he excited to kiss a pretty girl?

She can’t remember the character’s name, not so many years after the fact, especially since they were all weird classical nonsense, either Latin or French or some mishmash of the two. But she remembers the costume. She remembers waiting with bated breath to see Arlo onstage, to stand and scream and cheer obnoxiously loud in support of her best friend. She shot to her feet the second she saw his obvious silhouette rise from a feather-bedecked black chariot, head and shoulders taller than anyone else onstage. The music swelled, lightning flashed, and then when the spotlight hit him, she was so stunned she plopped right back into her seat with her jaw on the floor.

Arlo’s always been one of those guys that straddled the line between pretty and handsome. Long, lustrous hair and eyelashes she would kill for, cheekbones that could kill, a defined jaw, a proud nose, and intense eyes she could only call sultry—if she hadn’t known him since they were both weird, gawky brats, she’d probably be half in love with him before figuring out she wasn’t his cup of tea. But seeing him onstage was always an adventure. He threw himself into whatever character he played, put his everything into them, from the costume to the makeup to the performance. He just became the character, and in a way that was so very Arlo, all that intensity and focus channeled into an act that completely stole the show, in Tina’s humble and completely unbiased opinion.

Carabosse! That was her name!

Carabosse was no different.

Arlo’s makeup was flawless, ghost-white foundation giving him intense Morticia Addams vibes, contouring that made his cheekbones look absolutely unreal, bold black (or maybe really dark purple?) lipstick and shiny, smoky eyeshadow that made him look ethereal and wicked, with a daggerpoint cat-eye that she spent an hour begging him to teach her after the show. When he turned his head in a sharp, birdlike motion to look down his nose at the dancers playing the King and Queen, she gasped at the way his hair rippled down his back, shiny-black and woven with actual feathers that trailed back from the ornate metal circlet resting on his brow like a bird’s crest. The costume was breathtaking, too, a tightly corseted bodice and a high collar, a dramatically billowing skirt and trailing, feathered sleeves that flared like wings whenever he moved.

And the way he moved! Arlo’s dancing changed with every role, whatever he felt would suit the character. One of her favorites was always his Hans-Peter (she had a soft spot for that one, and had ever since she was little—one of the first Christmas gifts her stepmom had ever given her was little storybook version of The Nutcracker that came with a CD) because his dancing was so stiff and stridently mechanical, he looked like a real toy soldier come to life. But his villains moved with a slinking, predatory prowl she’d only ever seen in monster movies, and never in something like a ballet. His Carabosse was as beautiful as she was terrifying, and it was incredible to watch. She wanted to fling herself at him after the show and babble at him endlessly like she always did, but she spent a solid minute staring at him slack-jawed, until he shifted awkwardly and looked down, and the confident intimidation of the Wicked Fairy sloughed away to reveal Arlo underneath.

He almost melted into the floor with relief when she finally startled to babble.

She puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, and he takes a slow, deep breath, offering Felix a strained smile. “Take a closer look, mate,” he says quietly.

Felix does. He looks up and squints at Arlo, and then back down at the photo. Tina has to bite her lip so she doesn’t laugh when he looks over at Adam, still holding the magazine with that metal singer that kind of looks like Arlo on it, and then back at Arlo. His mouth drops open into a little o, and he shoots to his feet and shouts, “No way!”

Mason was allowed his name back briefly, but he goes right back to Broody One when he grimaces at Felix and slinks pettishly back to his corner.

Arlo’s shoulders are practically around his ears, but he tries to keep smiling. “Yeah. Sleeping Beauty. Fourth year. I was the Wicked Fairy.”

“He was amazing,” Tina declares, shoulders back and chin tipped up challengingly. “The costume was insane, but the way he played her was absolutely, ridiculously badass.”

“You look awesome!” Felix blurts, still gawking down at the photo. He flips to the next page, and squeaks happily when he finds more pictures, from different angles, showing off the costume, the way Arlo loomed over the other dancers, the way he commanded the stage. Tina should really find out who took the pictures and send them her thanks, because they really put in the work. “Your makeup, your dress, your hair! How’d you even do that?”

Arlo laughs, and it sounds so utterly relieved, Tina’s heart breaks a little. Arlo’s always been sensitive, and for someone who dresses and holds himself the way he does, he worries more than he lets on what people think of him. Especially people he cares about. She squeezes his shoulder again, and he bites his lip when he glances back at her and smiles hesitantly.

“A lot of wire, and enough hairspray to choke a bloody cow,” he says, twisting around and slinging his long legs over the coffee table so he can face the sofa. “I think we bought every bag of black feathers the craft store had, and then spent an entire weekend painting them with this stupidly expensive embossing powder. We had to get, like, ten pots of the stuff, because the craft store only had pots the size of a quarter.”

“I admire your dedication,” Nate says pleasantly, strolling over to peer over Arlo’s shoulder. They tighten just a bit before relaxing slowly. “That costuming is superb. I’ve seen professional productions that weren’t half so detailed.”

“That would be Viv’s work,” Arlo laughs, looking down at the pictures fondly. “She took whatever cheap garbage the department had for us, raided the nearest clearance fabric rack, and worked her magic. The employees at that little craft store loved and hated us in equal measure.”

Arlo is still tense, but he’s loosening up little by little, and with him Tina does too. The easy camaraderie is soothing, and she knows how much Arlo cares about his vampire friends, so it’s got to be a huge weight off his shoulders to be able to let his guard down around them. He deserves that. He deserves to be able to be himself.

Adam standing up draws Arlo’s attention like nothing else could, and he freezes like a startled rabbit again looking up at the burly blonde vampire as he approaches the sofa. He looks a split second from bolting. Tina sits up straighter and gives Adam her most daring look, squaring her shoulders to make it perfectly clear she's ready to fight the second he opens his mouth. She’ll definitely lose, sure, but she’ll make as much trouble as she can before she goes down.

He reaches out, his hand hesitating before it touches the album’s glossy page, and he looks up at Arlo with a questioning tilt to his brows. Arlo looks like he’s barely breathing, but he nods, and Adam slips one of the pictures from its sleeve. He straightens his spine, shoulders back, holding the photo and studying it carefully. His face is impossible to read, about as expressive as a bloody brick wall. Tina’s vibrating with nervous energy. She’ll fight a vampire, though. She will.

When Adam does finally speak, his voice comes out so softly Tina almost doesn’t hear it over the adrenaline rushing through her. “You look… striking.”

Striking. Oh my god.

She wants to laugh. They’re ridiculous.

“Thanks,” Arlo chokes out, his cheeks and ears going red this time.

Oh my god. Tina covers her mouth with both hands. Arlo glowers at her. It’s a lot less threatening when he’s blushing like that. “I didn’t say anything,” she mumbles against her palms.

“Your face,” he hisses, and she yelps.

“Oh! Shit!” She pulls her hands away, and he grabs her by the chin to check the damage with a click of his tongue.

Tina thought things would get better once Arlo actually kissed the man (and maybe got a leg over, but that’s only her business when she can finally get Arlo to actually talk about if the big, beefy Adonis is as missionary-with-the-lights-off as he looks) but at least they’re not just staring longingly at each other from across the room and then getting all sad about it anymore . Thankfully, Felix seems to be an old hand at clearing up the weird tension between the two of them, chiming in a delighted, “I’ve never seen you look so scary!” as he rifles through all the pictures from the Sleeping Beauty show. “I mean, you’re pretty scary when you go all furry, but also, you sort of just look like a big lanky puppy, because it’s just you, you know? This is someone else! Who is she! She's so cool!”

Arlo sighs and turns around to fix whatever Tina’s ruined with her foundation, and throws himself back into dolling her up. Thankfully, the actual festival’s not for a while yet. She complained about the unnecessarily early start when Arlo suggested the time, but now she’s glad he’s such a persnickety prick about scheduling. “I had a lot of fun with it,” he admits, shrugging his shoulders. “The original script notes said to get, y’know, sort of silly with it, but I wasn’t a big fan of that angle for a character like her. Yeah, I wanted to be campy, but not in the way…” He purses his lips. “Okay, well, Nate probably knows this, but a lot of classical ballets that have a female villains do this thing with them that I hate.” He frowns deeply, patting at Tina’s chin with gentle ferocity. “ An evil female character is supposed to be sort of… sort of a cautionary tale, I guess? Like your typical bitter spinster crone, the old hag, or the wicked stepsisters, things like that. So they’ll specifically cast a male dancer and put them in bright, gaudy facepaint and garish costumes that are supposed to be cartoonish and ugly, that you're supposed to find funny, to show you that this character is bad because she’s indelicate and mannish, and that’s why she’s evil.”

His mouth twists around the words, and he looks up, back at the vampires, leaving Tina a moment to really appreciate that Arlo’s comfortable enough with them to do what he’s only ever really done with her—which is ramble about something he’s passionate about. It’s always fun to watch. He turns back to her, and she just wishes his hands weren’t occupied, because he’s a big hand-talker otherwise. “I got the role because the professor thought it would be funny to stick me in a role like that, being so tall and, y’know,” he gestures vaguely to his faded old band tee and dark jeans, the thick leather cuff around his wrist. Tina doesn’t see what he really means, seeing as he looks cozy and content right now, but she gets what he’s going for. “He was expecting me to be awkward about it. The big, tough guy doing drag as the creepy crone caricature.” He huffs. “I talked with Demi about it, and we decided to say fuck that.” He sits up straighter, tilts up his chin, and looks down his nose at Tina.

She peers up at him, wide-eyed, and suddenly wonders if this is how Demi felt, playing Aurora when Carabosse looked down her nose at her like an insect under her heel.

“I thought Carabosse deserved better,” Arlo says fiercely. “If I was going to be a villain, I was going to be a damned good villain. I was going to tower over all the delicate, dainty little princesses and fairies, and I was going to be fierce. Professor Dacey wanted Aurora, and Candide, and Florine to be the epitome of sweet, delicate femininity, the ideal damsel in any classical show. Carabosse is supposed to be the complete opposite. You’re supposed to root against her, not want to be her. She’s a threat to the idea of womanhood, of the ideal feminine. She’s bold and selfish and she takes what she wants. I leaned into that. I even danced en pointe for parts of it, even though Carabosse isn't supposed to, and between the rehearsals and the actual performance, I thought my feet were gonna fall off, but it was worth it.”

Arlo smiles, and Tina is thrilled by the wickedness of it. She thinks she even sees just a hint of fang. Arlo’s been so careful about showing his teeth, ever since he told her what happened to him, why he disappeared for so long, so it's somehow special for him to feel like he can show her even a hint of what he’s become.

“Professor Dacey was pissed, afterwards, of course,” Arlo laughs, but there’s an edge to it. He seems to shrink. From Arlo to Carabosse to Arlo again. He looks down at his hands as they work on Tina more than at her face. “He didn’t, y’know, say anything he could have gotten fired over, but he did rail about being left out of planning and the budget and all that rot. Got even madder when Demi pointed out we’d spent our own money on the costumes. I think if he was tall enough to look down on me, he would have.” He snorts, a bitter curl to his mouth. Tina thinks of it painted bold, dark purple, thinks of how it would look with those teeth behind it. She wonders if he’d let her do his makeup for the festival. She’s not nearly as good at details as he is, but she’s no slouch either.

“You should have let me put raw fish in his hubcaps,” Tina mutters, just to make Arlo laugh. It works, and she beams at him.

“Would have been a waste of fish,” he mumbles, sucking his teeth. He finally picks up a bright eyeshadow palette and starts waffling over colors. He’s quiet while he deliberates, but after a while, he sighs. “I liked being Carabosse,” he says, like it’s a secret. Like he’s trying very hard not to be ashamed.

“I wish I could have seen it,” Adam says, almost dreamily. Tina could scream. “I— We could have, I mean. All of us. In solidarity.”

“Smooth,” Felix whispers.

“I’m sure it was a phenomenal performance,” Nate adds helpfully. He’s taken the album from Felix to flip through to some of Arlo’s other shows. “The passion you have for your characters shines through in just photos. It’s quite impressive.”

“You should have gone pro,” Tina mutters. “You’d be a household name by now.”

Arlo snorts and bops her with the brush. How many bops is that now? She’s certainly on a roll today. “And who’d keep you in line back here?” he teases.

Tina squints up at him and sticks out her tongue. “Like you’ve ever even tried to keep me in line, you big softie. You love the chaos, just admit it.”

“I’ll admit you to the hospital when you do something stupid and get yourself hurt again, how about that?”

They bicker like children back and forth while Arlo finishes her makeup, a wash of pink, purple, and blue eyeshadow and matching lipstick, overlaid with a lustrous sparkle to her cheekbones and a cute little black heart-shaped beauty mark under one eye. Felix gets a bi flag heart to match her eyeshadow around one eye, and then the rest is a sort of confetti splash of sparkly stars and hearts in every color. Even Nate goes for the bi eyeshadow (Bi-shadow? She should have been saying that this whole time!), making him, Tina, and Felix a matching set, and Mason consents to a very simple pan flag on his cheek. Tina suspects Adam only allows the eyeshadow treatment so he can have Arlo cup his face all tenderly, but she keeps the thought (mostly) to herself. He looks good in pastels, she thinks when she sees the finished blue, pink, and white.

Arlo draws a little heart under his eye too. The heart in Tina's chest almost explodes with warmth.

And then Arlo disappears into the bathroom, leaving the rest of them to entertain themselves while he gets ready on his own. They go through the album some more, and Tina tells them all about her favorite shows, because she went to every single one she could manage, and got Arlo’s school friends to send her videos of the ones she couldn’t. Tina Poname is Arlo Priestley’s number one fan, and that will never change. Not even now that she's got some competition.

When Arlo comes out of the bathroom, they all look up in sync, and he stands there, shifting anxiously from foot to foot under the attention, and lifts his hands in a stilted shrug. “So?” he asks, smiling nervously. He’s changed clothes, too. Tight pants, big boots, a mesh-sleeved black shirt underneath his patch-and-pin-covered denim vest. His wrists jingle with chunky bracelets, and his hair is braided neatly over one shoulder. But his makeup is what really steals the show. That insanely sharp cat-eye, of course, but one eye is done up in blue, pink, and white, and the other in yellow, white, purple, and black. He smiles timidly. “I, uh, I couldn’t really decide on just one,” he says, sticking his gloved hands into the pockets of his vest. “I’m, um, I’m not sure which one’s really right for me yet, I guess?” He shrugs again, and Tina watches delightedly as Adam stands up slowly, his eyes on Arlo with such an awed intensity she wonders if he even remembers there’s other people in the room. Arlo keeps babbling as he approaches, the words tumbling nervously from his black-painted lips. “I sort of like matching with you, Adam, and I know they’re both fine, but I—”

Adam grabs him by the lapels of his jacket, yanks him down to his level, and silences him with a kiss. Tina throws her arms up in the air with an impulsive shriek of “WOO!” that Felix echoes even louder. They high-five over Mason’s head, and he looks like he wants to throw them both out the window. Nate sits by with a pleasant little smile, which only fades when he takes note of the clock.

Adam and Arlo are still kissing, Arlo’s hands cupped around the vampire’s cheeks and Adam clinging to his vest like he'll drown if he lets go. Tina thinks she might see a hint of tongue when Nate loudly clears his throat.

They break apart with an indecent smacking noise, and Tina yelps out a sharp laugh when she sees Arlo’s black lipstick smeared all around Adam’s mouth.

Nate crosses his arms and smiles dryly at them. “Why don’t you two go fix your faces,” he suggests. “The rest of us will make sure the car is packed for the festival.”

“Um, yes. You— We—” Arlo fumbles for a bit, touching his smeared lips, his eyes just a bit dazed. He and Adam look at each other, and then flee for the bathroom together.

Tina’s never been more excited for a festival in her life.

[akindofmagictoo]

manuscript search tag game

I was tagged by @dragon-swords-prophecies :D thank you! 

my words are cat, water, storm, book 

cat (Dragonsong) (there is a legitimate cat making a cameo in each of my WIPs, but I loved this excerpts as well) 

The door slammed open once again to reveal an armed and armoured knight, a fair-skinned woman with brown hair. Her surcoat was spotlessly clean, and her armour shone brightly. A citadel knight. One hand on the hilt of her sword, she said, “We saw some children come this way. Anyone here?” 

Who was she to try and oppose this? She might have been just one woman… but these children would be taken away against their wills. Taken from their families, taken to do a job they didn’t necessarily want. Isi couldn’t stand by and watch something like that happen. 

“Well? Cat got your tongue?” 

She needed to make a more definitive choice. 

water (Dragonsong) (is anyone surprised that I first thought up this metaphor while at the beach myself?) 

Sierra had been the child who loved the ocean. She would let herself be swept along in its currents, dive deep and surface laughing. As much as Isi loved the ocean they had grown up with, she had always been the one with her feet planted firmly on the ground. She had been the one to fish Sierra out when she went too deep. She had preferred to let the water flow around her, but never to let it take her. 

Yet she didn’t quite want to let go of Fintan. Not just yet. There was a beauty in the fiery chaos, and it warmed her from the inside out. In the tumbling ocean, she always felt more alive. She felt the same here, alive and bright and strong. 

storm (Hurricane) (this chapter is literally called The Storm lol) 

It turned out that staying belowdecks while the storm raged wasn’t [Theo’s] idea of fun, either. He tried sitting in his hammock, reasoning it would move with the ship, but the movement and the apparent frailty of the rope and cloth made him more nervous, so he found a post to put his back against instead. That wasn’t much better. Aside from the bruises he knew he’d have from being thrown against the walls, his stomach flipped with every pitch and roll. The ship seemed terribly flimsy, more than it ever had before, setting his heart pounding. His fingers ached from his futile efforts to hold onto anything that might stop him flying across the ship every time it rocked. 

He had no idea how much time had passed, but he’d long since emptied the contents of his stomach when Aella reappeared, soaked to the skin. “Get up. You’re needed on deck.” She peeled a few strands of wet hair off her cheek and wiped her mouth. 

“I—what?” 

“We need all hands on deck. This is a large storm and it came on very fast. And this isn’t our ship, so she’s unfamiliar.” She was speaking in a rush. Theo had to concentrate to understand. She spat and continued, “You’ll be an extra set of hands to get the sail and rigging under control. Sequoia’s still up the mast ‘cause the bloody sail came untied again, and Elizabeth and Emmy are out of action. Just do what I tell you.” 

book (Dragonsong) 

“I expected no less.” A wry look came over Baya’s face. “I don’t think I did mistake you for someone else. I think you were a knight when last I saw you. Weren’t you, Tor Isadora?” 

Isi sighed. “That’s me. Well… it was.” Tor Isadora had followed every rule, every law to the letter. Tor Isadora had kept herself clean, avoided getting her hands too dirty, made sure her armour was always polished. Everything had been by the book, strictly governed. Sterile. 

Isi stood here now, her skin sticky with capybara blood and smudged with days-old dirt. Her braid was starting to come loose, and her shirt had a rip in it that she was yet to fix. But she felt more alive than she had as a knight. This wasn’t sterile, simple change. This was tangible. She could still smell the blood. 

She liked to be clean and tidy. But really, it had all been for show. Here and now, she had done something. There would be time to clean up later. 

I will tag @rosiewritesandrambles (i’ve been tagging you a lot lately. no pressure of course!) @zmlorenz and @etjwrites! and anyone else who wants to play is welcome. your words are maze, mumble, mould, melt 

[ateanalenn]

The Untamed / MDZS, resources post, stuff I needed as a writer

ORIGINAL POST AT DREAMWIDTH! (and updates will be there too and maybe on tumblr, if I remember)

(this is a copy paste, the formatting might not survive)

(also available on AO3)

The Untamed / MDZS, resources post, stuff I needed as a writerApr. 11th, 2020 05:46 pm ateanalennFinding info for this show / how to write about / pitfalls to avoid was a pain :( I guess that's part of having fandom on Tumblr. Since Tumblr's search function only works by selling a kidney and sacrificing a goat, I had to rely on Google. Which, not great. Anyway, useful stuff I found to understand this fandom: • MDZS on Dreamwidth: theuntamed_mdzs (active) mxtx (community focused on all the works by the author Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. Not active, but it's there) theyilingweisect (community sharing fics, meta, discussions. Not active either since jan 2020) • MDZS aka Mo Dao Zu Shi (book) aka Grandmaster of Demobnic Cultivation / The Untamed (drama) (there's also an audio drama, a manhua, a donghua, ...) - the novel's en glish fan translation at Exiled Rebels (complete ) As far as I know, this is the most popular translation, though I would like to know if anyone has another translation that they think fit best. - the drama is streaming on Netflix, Viki, WeTV & Youtube. From what I heard around, Netflix and Youtube are the most accessible, obviously, but Viki has the best subtitles (and a whole lot of annoying pubs though). I think that I heard somewhere that there are fan subtitles made, will update if I find the link again). • About names: • The Untamed: A Primer Basically an overview of what is this drama, a few spoilers (but under arrows to open so less risks to see something you didn't want to see). Useful list of titles for the main charas! (ex: Wei Wuxian:    Young Master Wei    Wei Ying (use of this name denotes “I feel affection for you”)    The Yiling Patriarch (use of this name denotes “I think you are evil”)    A-Xian / Xianxian (use of this name denotes “I am your loving older sister, have some soup”)    Lan Wangji:    Second Young Master Lan    Lan Zhan (use of this name denotes “I feel affection for you”)    Hanguang Jun (use of this name denotes “I respect you, and you are also famously very beautiful”)    Wangji (use of this name denotes “I am your older brother and I wish you’d make a friend”) ) • Another primer tumblr by sonickitty with a few where-do-I-find links • Alexandra Rowland explains What Is The Untamed twitter (with pics) • How Ancient Chinese Names Work - Learn from The Untamed Detailed explanation of what's going on with the names (aka Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, Hanguang-jun) • Dramatis Personae for Modao Zushi the book dw (another detailed who's who/names list) • Names again, Chinese/Mandarin conventions twitter (aka ex the accents aren't necessary, they're there for pronunciation and some explanation of who would use full name/shortened name) • Infographic: birth name vs courtesy name vs title vs respectful address  twitter • Quick table / honorifics guide tumblr by cleyra • Mo Dao Zu Shi | 魔道祖师 The various adaptions tumblr by gravitydefyingtears • A list of MDZS FanFic Common Misleading tumblr by kazeki • A conversation about linguistic register, Lan Wangji, and I guess Wei Wuxian can come too tumblr (pretty important text to understand how lwj speaks) • Writing Lan Wangji's speech patterns (aka say the most in the least words) and the follow up Lan Wangji moving into the lowest, most vernacular linguistic register to try and get through to Wei Wuxian tumblr by hunxi-huilai • Using "You/I" vs "Title-as-you" tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Sword names tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Honorifics: jun vs zun tumblr by hunxi-guilai • THE spreadsheet: Mo Dao Zu Shi Character Name Chart, recced by flamebyrd (of who uses what for whom) • Misc Info: • 59 slides of awesomeness by chatcolat. Who's who, plot summary, humor. Beware, so full of spoilers you'll cry if you want to keep some mystery, but! concise recap of what happens in the show to keep the timeline in mind. • Everything about those cultivation sects in ‘The Untamed’ Quick who's who of the various sects (Gusu Lan, Lanling Jin, Yunmeng Jiang, Qishan Wen, Qinghe Nie. Protip: first word is basically the location, second is the sect/clan name). • Reference for Modao Zushi Writers: Chinese terms ao3. "This is to provide a reference for writers who are unfamiliar with Chinese literary conventions or terms used in canon." • Resource list dw: Libitina's twitter links for Meta, Linguistics, Costumes, Food, Edits, Art. • Actual drama title vs English drama title twitter • How "Mo Dao Zu Shi" became "Chen Qing Ling" became "The Untamed" tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Very necessary meta about why the novel/extras seems to have so many sex consent issues and how translating to English potentially gives a very different overall feel to the scene (ex: ExR = "you're too much, you're way too much" becomes chiaki_himura's "you're good, you're too good", becomes bigbadredpanda's "you're amazing, you're the best"). Also, Chinese language enables to shorten sentences which makes stuff implied, 's your job to see context clues.) • hunxi guilai's master list of various detailed topics re-Chinese language/customs tumblr • "Wangxian" is such a clever portemanteau tumblr by untamedconnotations • Song Lan didn’t just say that Xiao Xingchen was “nice-looking,” he basically said that Xiao Xingchen was smokin’ hot except like, in two characters and blanketed with literary respectability. tumblr by hunxi-guilai (this is only relevant because xxc IS the most beautiful person, really and needs to be protected at all cost) • The Unclean Realm isn't "unclean" has in dirty/bad, it's most probably to show the difference of way of cultivating vs the other sects tumblr by hunxi-guilai • WuJi, the love song's fan translation tumblr by iarrod • Timeline: • 59 slides of awesomeness by chatcolat. Who's who, plot summary, humor. Beware, so full of spoilers you'll cry if you want to keep some mystery, but! concise recap of what happens in the show to keep the timeline in mind. • A google spreadsheet, via mihanada's GoDC timeline wip (Year/Event/Notes/Ages/...)     • MDZS Timeline, that meta AO3 post on speed by TheWickling. Useful if you want all the details, a bit difficult to navigate/understand when you just landed in the fandom. Still very useful. • And the sequel: On Character's Ages  ao3 "A collection of meta on the possible ages for different  characters in MDZS and what ages they would be during key events in the  timeline." • Modao Zushi, birthdates/timeline dw Dirthdates starting with 0 = wwx's birth year. Succinct & useful. • Maps • Fan made mdzs / untamed worldmap twitter • Places of The Untamed - Where They Are in The Real World • IRL sect locations reddit • Google Map of clan locations in Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation tumblr • Lotus Pier really is one of the most underrated but beautiful places. twitter • Gifsets and images: - Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed drama character guide! deviantart picture = name, who's who in pics. - The Untamed sect sigils - In Which LWJ Gives Not A Single Shit, A Thread #LanWangji #WangXian #cql #TheUntamed SPOILERS for most of the show twitter - The various stages of hairstyles + accessories twitter - SongXiao are in love, got married, are living happily ever after,(FITE ME) twitter by shenweiss - Realizing that wwx is wearing lwj's silk undershirt and the follow up: Qiren's face when he notices xD twitter - gingersnapwolves's Untamed tumblr tag - thewickling's mdzs tumblr tag - hunxi-guilai's cql tumblr tag - compilation of wangxian just being gay and making everyone feel like a third wheel twitter by weiwxngji - wwx swoons a lot and he's gorgeous twitter - Alexandra Rowland explains What Is The Untamed twitter (with pics) - grinding ink requires great patience, often represents that one is willing to wait for another’s feelings twitter - sad compilation of wangxian gazing into each other’s eyes that no one asked for, you’re welcome twitter - This frontal view of Wei Wuxian laying on Lan Wangji’s lap is everything. twitter - Lotus Pier really is one of the most underrated but beautiful places. twitter - Sometimes you see something, a picture, a video, just a snippet of a short moment, and you SEE the love. twitter - CQL’s working title was hot murder husbands twitter (this is amazing) - Lan Wangji just looks a thousand times more intimidating with golden eyes twitter - #TheUntamed’s spinoff webmovie #FatalJourney posters twitter (yessss, nhs, one of my fav) - Don’t you love how exactly 0.5 seconds of this video is Lan Zhan explaining that only spouses are allowed to touch the headband and the rest of the entire 2(!) minutes is a complication of Wei Ying touching it anyways... he said I wanna marry you. twitter • Fic Recs: - DW guest Post: Untamed Fic Starter Pack (a few fics for each subject (ex post canon, juniors centric, ...) - Twitter thread starting with Alexandra Rowland asking for fluffy MDZS/Untamed fic recs. (good new-fandom starter too!) - That twitter thread collecting a list of lady-centric Untamed/MDZS fics Which, good, because as much as I love the fandom, once again women don't exactly come out on top. How many are still alive at the end? I can think of one previously Jin sect lady, but that's it on top of my head, soooo. - Libitina also has posted a lot of mdzs fic recs dw - A "they're students in lockdown and socially distancing" WangXian ficlet tumblr by besanii And bonus: a capybara enjoying a good scritch because I love those dog-sized guinea pigs, seriously, that twitter account is my daily dose of cuteness Also, have some guinea pig on a cutesy bridge PS: I thought that this would be fast because I didn't have that much info to collect at one place, buuuut. It's been 5 hours and it turns out that I did lol.   Still, if you have anything else of potential interest, don't hesitate to leave a comment, please :D

[cinnamaldeide]

#Hannigraham Meet-Cute Challenge: Infos

After having successfully concluded our Accidental Hannigraham sex initiative, and survived Christmas holidays, @fhimechan and I decided to promote another monthly project to fill this 2019 with delight and amusement in the form of fanfiction. This may not become that kind of party, but there’s still some promising ideas we recently found out, and we can’t wait for you to see them as well!

As you can read, this challenge will focus on meet-cute scenarios, universes where Will and Hannibal meet for the first time in an entirely different way. No analytical ambush, rather a serendipitous meeting in a coffee shop, an awkward moment in the libraty, a casual encounter in the middle of a fresh crime scene. We know you are very creative, there would be no need for us to provide prompts for your imagination to work, but this is a challenge after all (˘⌣˘ ) there should be something challenging. We selected twenty prompts from @meetcuteprompts for you to choose. You select one, you write your wonderful story, we collect it and promote your work in a post with the other entries of that month (◕‿◕)☆

#22: A is having a quiet night at home – that is, until A’s apartment neighbour begins blasting music. Frustration levels rising, A goes to knock on the neighbour’s door to ask them to keep it down… at the same time B, the resident on the other side, is about to. Need more detail? Click on the post.

#32: A checks into a cozy inn while on a cross-country road trip, beyond tired and ready to collapse. When A gets to the assigned room, he or she is in for a surprise! Someone else, B, is already in the room. Uh-oh.

#117: A is a professional assassin hired to take out a client’s cheating husband. But the client also spoke to B, a close friend, who has made it his/her’s own mission to also kill the husband. Unfortunately, both A and B have chosen the same night to do so, and it just so happens that B is a bit clumsy… and keeps getting in A’s way.

#143: A’s blind date just left, mumbling some sort of excuse about leaving the stove on. Confused and feeling rejected, A sits orders another beer at the bar, wondering where s/he went wrong. B, who had witnessed the situation, goes over and says sympathetically, “I think I know what went wrong… there’s something in your teeth.”

#162: A is interviewing potential roommates and is having very little luck. When it comes to B, A says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think this is going to work. I can’t live with someone that I’d like to ask out.”

#166: A is at a coffee shop and sits down at a table, only to find a book on the chair. Intrigued, A starts flipping through it, and realizes it’s actually someone’s journal that had been left behind! And it’s fascinating. Unfortunately, B, the journal’s author, rushes back to retrieve it… and is horrified to see A reading it. But A, having gotten a feel for this person through his/her writing, asks if they want to go out sometime.

#176: A works at a pet store and is utterly surprised when B bursts through the door in a hurry and walks up to the cash without looking around. Out of breath, A says, “Please don’t ask why, but what do capybaras eat?”

#180: There has been a series of recent break-ins in A’s neighbourhood. B, a cop, knocks on A’s door to recommend safety measures and to ask if A has noticed anything peculiar — A hasn’t really seen anything, but invites the cop and his/her charming smile inside for coffee and a bit of false information so s/he might stay a while.

#207: A meets B and falls immediately for them, but B clearly doesn’t feel the same. After being rejected, A calls on Anteros, the avenger of unrequited love, to exact vengeance on B.

#210: A is a writer struggling to find inspiration for their next book. The publishers are breathing down their neck and the pressure is almost more than A can take. When A comes across an old Greek book in a thrift store, A brings it home and flips through the pages.... only to come across an old chant that was supposed to bring inspiration to those who read it out loud. A gives it a shot and... oh dear. Oh, oh dear. Somehow that summoned B, one of the Muses, to A’s living room.

#215: A is brought in to the police station for questioning about a crime they know nothing about and is put in an interrogation room… with B, who is another suspect in this particular case.

#231: A is hanging out with a friend but ends up stopping to look at some lingerie in a shop window. A is still chatting away, thinking that their friend has stopped with them also, and turns to where they assume their friend is to jokingly ask: “Wouldn’t I look sexy in that?” But it turns out that the friend had kept walking and it was B, a total stranger, who A had spoken to.

#232: A is in a public place and temporarily leaves their things where they are seated so that they can use the bathroom. When A returns, A notices B, the person sitting at the next table, putting A’s phone back on the table. A demands to know what they were doing with their phone, and B tells them that the phone was ringing non-stop and it was bothering everyone. Also… “Your friend is drunk and I think they want to sleep with you.”

#234: A and B are both looking for a movie to rent and, coincidentally, they have the same movie in mind! They reach for it at the same time and, oh, there’s only one copy left! After a few minutes of ‘oh, go ahead, you can have it’ from both sides, they agree to rent it and watch it together.

#239: A is sitting in a cafe trying to casually read their book, but is distracted by B’s loud phone conversation at the table over. B tells a joke over the phone, which makes A crack up unexpectedly – B looks over at A, annoyed that they were eavesdropping, but also appreciative that at least someone liked their joke! B hangs up and offers to tell A another.

#240: A stops at the pub near their house to pick up some food on the way home (they make the best fries in the neighbourhood) when A receives a phone call – and some terrible news. A starts crying and B, the bartender, asks A what’s wrong. As A opens up to them, B gives A a drink on the house, and helps talk them through it.

#246: A was fatally wounded in an accident and suddenly finds themself looking down at their own lifeless body in confusion. B is a reaper and offers A guidance… but A doesn’t want to do the whole follow the light bullshit. A wants to flirt with the cute reaper.

#248: A is a barista and has come to recognize the regulars and their orders. One day, B walks in and A greets them, starting to prepare their order, when B stops A with a sigh: “I’m not who you think I am.” After receiving a blank stare from A who has no idea how to respond to that, B continues, “I have a twin. I’m the other one.”

#251: A is in their backyard enjoying the nice weather when an animal saunters into view. A looks for a collar and finds nothing, but it lets A have a few cuddles before going on its way. The same thing happens for the next few days until one day, B appears trailing behind! “Aha! So this is where you’ve been running off to.” Ah, one more thing. The animal is B’s familiar.

#252: A is in the public library and notices a strange book that looks like it doesn’t belong in this section. A moves along to another genre, but it seems that this book is in every section… almost like it’s following A. How peculiar! When A finally picks it up to see what exactly it is, B appears out of thin air, and simply says, “I’ve been waiting fifty years for you.”

These awesome ideas have been selected arbitrarily among many others, which are as great and intriguing. If you’d like to fill a prompt we haven’t included, you’re free to do so; let us know and we’ll welcome your work in our collection, if not in our monthly update post. But if you’re willing to fill one of our choosing, you can choose the next: we will in fact substitute the filled prompt with another (of your choosing of ours, if you don’t have a particular preference), gradually running as many of them as possible, always trying to propose something new for you to sink your teeth into :D Our mission will be to achieve as many stories as we can obtain during the whole year with your help, our beloved fanwriters and fanartists!

That’s right, you’re welcome to provide fanarts as well as fanfictions, my deers ♥

Everyone can write or draw as many fanfictions or fanarts as preferred, and as long as you like, but please remember this is still about the meet-cute trope, so every work shall involve the tag Different First Meeting. Any rating, any length, any warning, if adequately tagged, will be accepted. We only ask of you to not be disrespectful and to stick to the prompt you choose, and honour every part of it :9 please include a link to it in your work, so anyone can read it!

We won’t book prompts, but we’re confident you’ll find something inspiring among our selection ;) and if you don’t, we’ll appreciate your reblog and hope for the following month to be more fortunate! In respect of our past initiative and our own preference, we’re concentrating on Hannigraham works. We know this is not as exciting as the Accidental sex, but don’t forget there’s no reason you can’t evolve the situation into something more... compromising ;) you’ll decide if there’s inevitable sex in store for us this time around!

Since we all know how Tumblr works, I’m tagging everyone I tagged in my last Accidental Sex post and hope that some of you are interested in pursuing this project with us. So here we are @a-hannibal-mess, @allionne, @ambar-gris, @andiemerizein, @angelchild1302, @avegetariancannibal, @ayden5956, @blackrose34, @bloodyilaria, @blueeyednightwing, @bonfire-choir, @cinelitchick, @crisisoninfintefandoms, @cutaneousmarginalpouch, @diemetzgermeisterin, @doyouacheforhim, @electrarhodes, @erodingthebluff, @eonblueinmay, @evolvingmydesign, @ethicsbecomeaesthetics, @fleeingdawn-blog1, @fragile-teacup, @gampire-thoughts, @gaycannibalbuddies, @grahamsdogs, @h4nnibalism, @hanfangrahamk, @hannibalatemyheart, @hannibalsbattlebot, @hannibalsimago, @hannigramfam, @hannigramfanfic, @hannigram-a-b-o-library, @hannigramwich, @hanniwinsagrahamy, @hunter-and-star-chaser, @ishipthemsogoddamnhard, @jadegreenworks, @jackalope-in-glasses, @janespetticoat, @kiyofan, @kobayashihatori, @krey-9-jorce, @louistennbookmarks, @mazephoenix, @maxaminkle, @mefistox, @mcsci4518, @midnight-stag, @purplesocrates, @saralecter77, @shaeshae-style, @slashyrogue, @snakesnlace, @stagswag, @sweetthingwithfeathers, @thatredbean, @thesilverqueenlady, @the-winnowing-wind, @tiggymalvern, @tinyenthusiasttriumph, @thenecronon, @whimsy-by-joja, @wiith-my-hands, @wlectergraham, @xcheekbonesandblueeyesx, @yes-yeah-yesh, @zigzag-wanderer many thanks for having indulged us so far, please bear with us a little longer if you please ^^ In @fhimechan’s or my next post, those who reblogged this one will be tagged again, and so on, trying to keep involved those who show their interest and support to us, leaving alone those who’d prefer not to be involved any further. I hope this will prove an efficient strategy, everything considered. We’ll handle things differently on Pillowfort, where we created a special community for anyone interested (o´▽`o )

In the hope of having said everything I needed to say, let me with you all a promising New Year, rich of amazing experiences and the loveliest fanworks. Fannibals are not done yet!

[bittysvalentines]

Zoo Date

From: @eatallofthepumpkinthings

To: @secretgeniusshittyknight

Content: Ransom/Holster, established relationship, canon compliant

“Good afternoon”

“Hello there young man. How many?”

“Two, please” he responded. He glanced over at Ransom who was vibrating out of his skin. His eyes were huge, his lips pursed in concentration, and his back stretched to try and get a peek past the gates. He'd spent a month creating and refining a spreadsheet that “perfectly maximizes our animal exploration time.” Their itinerary he now clutched in his large hands. Holster couldn't help but smile at his boyfriend's excitement.

“That'll be 35.95” He handed the woman his credit card and turned towards Ransom again. When Holster had suggested this a month ago, it was before a bombardment of new customer meetings, budget realignments, new team member onboardings, and all manner of project delays and hiccups. He couldn't wait to get in the gates and put the month behind him. He smiled again as Ransom saddled up beside him.

The admissions lady passed Holster back his card and a receipt which he signed. She slid him two maps. Before he could grab them, Ransom had snatched one away and was ripping it open.

“Excited, aren't we?” the lady asked. Holster chuckled.

She began to speak again but startled a bit at Ransom's boisterous “Woo hoos” He had grabbed Holster's hand and was tugging him towards the gate.

“Well before you guys head in there, do you have any questions?”

“No I think we have everything covered. Thanks!” He let Ransom tug him about a foot.

“Have fun and welcome to Franklin Park Zoo.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Whats up next babe?” The first section they had gone through was the “Serengeti Crossing” where they had spotted porcupines, zebras, ostriches, and warthogs. They'd just finished the “Kalahari Kingdom” section where they got to see some lounging lions and a tiger that was bathing its cubs.

They had stopped to read every info graph and inscription by each animal, plus Ransom had shared some pretty sweet, and sometimes, sick facts about each animal they saw. Holster was endeared to Ransom when he realized that his partner had spent extra time on the zoo's website and online in general to learn facts about all the animals just to share with him. But he realized they were running about 15 minutes behind schedule and wasn't sure how Ransom would react once he realized.

Holster bit his tongue as he watched Ransom review the itinerary and then look at his watch.

“We are running behind, but that shouldn't matter much right? The plan was to be out of here before closing but if we stay til then... There wasn't something you needed to get home to do right?”

“No, nothing. I got my work done for the K&R project last night so I haven't anything to do tonight. Well except maybe you” He waggled his eyebrows at him.

Ransom laughed as color rose in his cheeks. “Well then...” he wiggled his eyebrows back at him. “Lets just stick to the plan of action, but not worry too much about the time.”

“Sounds good to me!” Ransom dropped Holster's hand and unfolded the map holding it against some siding.

“If we continue down this path, we should come to the Tropical Forest building. It's what's next on the list and it's inside so we can take a quick break to cool down and to reapply sunblock to your forehead.”

Holster guffawed “Its only been an hour and a half”

“Bro, and you're already lookin' like a lobster.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later they sat at an empty pavilion table near the “Things Wild” gift shop, taking massive bites out of Bitty's PB&J sandwiches they had packed. Holster was thanking his stars for the forethought to pack 4 sandwiches instead of just two, and he was already daydreaming about the crock pot pork they had waiting for them at home when he looked over at Ransom who was scrolling through the SMH group chat.

They had now gone through the Tropical Forest, “Bird's World”, and the “Outback Trail”; seen what felt like hundreds of different animals; and took what felt like a million different photos. When they finally sat down for their late lunch, Ransom sent some of their better photos to the group.

Tango: Can we get an ocelot for the Haus? Its so cute!

Chowder: I agree with Tango! :D

Ollie: I also agree on the condition that its Haus trained

Wicks: Did you know that ancient Australian war lords kept trained emus in their armies?

Ford: I'm not sure you guys are cut out for taking care of an animal

Tango: C'mon!

Chowder: Aww :'[

Ford: also Wicks that is like 100% false

Ollie: Nah its totally true

Ollie: do you think a monkey could hang from our lights?

Whiskey: you mean the chandelier in your room?

Chowder: totally! But monkey's aren't heavy. And look lemurs are tiny too. They could both probably hang from it

Wicks: Swawesome

Ollie: Swawsome

Ford: NO

Bitty: good lord thats a disaster waiting to happen

Bitty: yall couldn't handle a stuffed ocelot. Let alone a live animal

Tango: I could def take care of a stuffed ocelot. It doesn't even need to eat!

Chowder: Are we talking cute stuffed or weird on the wall stuffed?

Lards: Way to talk them down Bits

Jack: Thats a great shot of the flamingo. Its very difficult to get an action photo like that on a phone.

Bitty: #masternegotiator

Whiskey: That is a good shot of the flamingos guys

Nursey: yeah yeah great shots, haus pets, blah....but did none of you notice how that red kangaroo looks like Poindexter. Its like a spitting image

Dex: sdkj;fjkdsa;kdf Nurse!

Tango: Ears

Lards: EARS

Bitty: EA RS

Chowder: eARs

Shits: that Capybara is giving me good vibes guys

Shits: good vibes

“You forgot the best one babe,” Holster brushed his hands over Ransom's and then quickly grabbed his phone.

“Hey!” Ransom laughed, and so did Holster. “Which one are you sending?”

“The one with us and the hippo!”

They had just walked into the Tropical Forest building when they came face to face with a smiling hippo. A group of school children were on the opposite side of the tank and tapping on the glass. Before the children could run up to the other side of the tank, Ransom and Holster had slid their backs against the wall, locked lips, and snapped a selfie with the hippo. Holster had thought the hippo looked like it was blowing a kiss of his own, but Ransom had cheerily admonished him for anthropomorphizing the hippo. When they had gotten to the side of the tank where the children had vacated, they found a plaque informing them that the hippos name was “Fred”. Holster held back a smug face, but winked at Ransom and his scrunched up nose.

When he sent the picture to the group chat the response was near instantaneous.

Chowder: CUTE!

Tango: OMG so adorable

Wicks: Niceeeeeeeeee

Ollie: Nice!!!!!!!!!

Dex: Noiceeee

Nurse: Why does he look like a priest at your wedding?

Shits: Is that hippo ordained?

Jack: Congratulations!

Chowder: congrats!!!!!

Bitty: <3 <3 <3 oh im gonna cry

Lards: Can't believe you got hitched without us

Whiskey: Nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before heading off to the last three sections of the park, Ransom guided him into the gift shop. He perused the shelves of books, knickknacks, and stuffed animals. He found a pink stuffed hippo and immediately grabbed it from the shelf. He snuck up behind Ransom and rubbed the hippos face against his cheek. “Mwuah”

Ransom jumped but turned and laughed at him. “Oh stop it you... you...”

“Me...”

“Cutie hippo butt face!”

“That was lame bro.” Ransom's cheeks colored more and Holster leaned over to give him a smacking wet kiss himself.

Ransom laughed and wiped his cheek. “So are we getting that?” he said pointing at the hippo.

“Hell yeah! See anything you like?”

Ransom gestured to the stuffed lemurs in front of him. “Look at this.” He grabbed the arms of the lemur that were clasped together and separated them. When he let go they snapped back together. “Magnetic”

“Oh man, the frogs are gonna love that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They made it through the rest of the zoo in an hour and a half. They saw goats, butterflies, prairie dogs, and even some cute fuzzy red pandas. Holster grinned as he thought about Ransom's face as one of the zookeepers brought over a llama for them to pet. When Ransom had stroked the llamas hair his eyes had lit up like stars and his shoulders had relaxed. It was one of the few moments all month where Holster had seen Ransom relax.

He looked over at Ransom now. Took in his drowsy form, cuddling his new stuffed hippo. His eyes drifted closed ever so slowly, and reopened even slower. He doubted that he would make it home before falling asleep. It had been a long exciting day and they were both exhausted. Holster gently took one of Ransom's hands and laced their fingers together. “You had fun babe?”

“Yeah. Can't wait to get home and cuddle though.”

“Me too.” He smiled.

Notes

Zoo website: https://www.zoonewengland.org/franklin-park-zoo/

Zoo map: https://www.zoonewengland.org/media/1517583/map-fzoo-winter-2018-hd.pdf

I implore you to look up images of and learn a little bit about all the animals mentioned! Red Pandas are my favorite.

[calamitynight]

Yatori week 2018 - Freestyle {Day 7}

@yatori-week-2018

words: 4218

It’s after the battle with heaven, Yato decides that it would be a good idea to celebrate. Things get exciting as gods full of exhaustion start drinking. By accident Hiyori drinks something she shouldn’t have, joining them in their shenanigans.  

"Woo! How about we celebrate" Yato let out happily. 

        They all just won the war against heaven. They were beaten and tattered up, but this truly called for a celebration or at least it did in Yato's eyes. He turned back to look at his friends. Their physics appeared tired as they held on to one another. He hoped they still had some life left in them.

"I think we should hold off the celebration, Yato" Kazuma responded as he held tightly onto Bishamon. "We're all very tired"

"Do what you wish, but I believe I am do for some rest" Bishamon added

"Oh come on! I know you still have some strength in you"

"Nothing you say will make me willingly spend more time around you Yato god"

"I'll treat for the drinks" This caught her attention. "I'll buy all of it, whatever you want!"

"Wow, Yatty sure is ready to party" Kofuku giggled. "I'm in then!"

"Of course you are. Any mention of booze and these guys stupid antics gets you motivated" Diakoku padded Kofuku on the head as he let out a tired sigh. "Can we do all of this at home at least?"

"Yeah, where else?" Yato responded. 

"Seriously, at least plan things out of other people's home"

        They walked away full of endless chatter. Yukine walked slowly behind them and looked back at the human girl that joined him. She smiled at everyone ahead of them, but her eyes screamed out a sight of fatigue. 

"What are you planning on doing, Hiyori?"

"I think some time with them would be nice"

"Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"I'll be fine, I'm in my body, so it's not like i'm risking anything. Besides, it feels like it's been a long time since I've seen them all smiling like this. I want to savior that"

"Yeah, I guess you're right"

It was amazing how Yato managed to get the alcohol so late at night. Everyone around them had gone to sleep hours ago. The streets were completely empty for the night. They all gathered around Kofuku's table as they talked and opened up the drinks. The atmosphere was bright and lively, Hiyori watched in the means to take it all in. The gods that once fought among each other had sat down for drinks. The ones that fought to protect and filled of worried now laughed loudly. With all of the glee surrounding her, she didn't think about what she was doing. She grabbed a hold of a cup that Yato had put down on the table. Since then it has not been touch by anyone, and it was put down in front of her. It was a pretty pink colored drink and smelled of strawberries. After a while she figured the drink was probably meant for her. It was the only one of a bright color. It looked a bit like some sort of juice. As she drunk it, it didn't taste out of the ordinary. She took a good gulp out of it, she didn't notice how thirsty she was before. She didn't think anything of it, not until Kofuku finally noticed.

"Oh my Yoriii, I didn't picture you as a rebel" She said playfully as she covered her mouth. 

"Hm? What do you mean?" 

"Oh nothing, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough"

        With those words Hiyori put the drink down and didn't touch it again. She imagined it to be some sort of juice, but now that she thought about it, she hasn't seen anything but alcohol around. She covered her mouth in shock of what she had just done. Could it be? That drink that tasted fruity and nothing like alcohol, was it really an alcoholic drink? Kofuku also loved to mess with her, she thought. Maybe she's just playing around with her, and maybe she'll be okay. That's what she hoped for anyway. Yato laughed as he spoke to Kofuku and the rest of them. He held his beer up to his lips ready for another drink until he felt a tug on his jacket. He looked down to see Hiyori's small hand gripping at his hem. Her grip appeared somewhat shy and he let out a small blush towards the sentiment.

"What's up, Hiyori?" He asked as normally as he could. He taken by surprise by the look on her face. Something about her just didn't seem like herself.

"Hey Yato! pay attention to me" Hiyori cried out as she clung herself onto an almost drunk god. She hiccuped and her face was flushed. 

"H-Hiyori" he responded, his face turned as red as a tomato. "What are you-" He was pulled by her as he kept pulling away. 

It had only been a matter of minutes before the drink began to hit Hiyori's system. Yato couldn't believe what was going on as he tried to push her off of him. Nothing he did worked, and at the same time he felt himself feeling the drinks take over him too. In a panic he was about to call out for help, but there was no one around. On the other side of the room the same was happening to their dear friend who couldn't do anything with his situation either.

        Kazuma stuttered and was a nervous wreck. Bishamon pulled and tugged on him as she whined. Her jacket was hanging off of her shoulder and her shirt revealed from under it. It was a plain white shirt, nothing most people would get excited about, but the angel, that's what made him blush heavily. Her face was flushed, her cheeks the brightest pink color. Her eyes soft and watery with sign of longing. Her body felt warm underneath his touch, he felt himself falling apart at the scene before him. He as well turned over for help, but as Kofuku laughed and enjoyed herself with their discomfort Yato was too preoccupied to help. Yukine he thought, where had he gone to? Could he be the one to save them from this. From the corner of his eyes he found him walking down the steps. He rubbed his eyes as he seemed to have just woken up. He was tired and beaten, and as Kazuma looked at him, he wished he would have chosen sleep over this as well. Yukine stopped at the entrance of the room and looked with shock and irritation. As Kazuma held his arm out in a way to ask for help, it was soon pulled down by a heavy weight. Bishamon had draped herself over his arm and looked at him with a glare.

"You may not go play with anyone else" She spoke with a pouted face. "Stay with me Kazuma"

He panicked and his face had completely gone red. His mouth was opened as a silent scream came out of it. He was doomed and he knew it. Yato pulled himself form under Hiyori, yet she wrapped her arms around his waist. He grabbed a hold of Yukine's shirt and received a burning glare from him. He let go of him from fear and began to try and explain himself. 

"You gotta help me" He begged. "Something came over Hiyori, now she won't let me go"

"Yaaaaatoooo" Hiyori called out as she held him down. "Don't go..."

"Did you really give her stuff to drink? She's underage Yato!" Yukine said angrily as he threw his foot on his face.

"I didn't do anything, I swear!" he cried underneath Yukine's foot.

Yukine only dug his foot more into him. "I woke up because you guys were making so much noise" He looked over at Kofuku who was giggling to herself and Diakoku who had her in his arms. "To think Kofuku is behaving better than you are" He then looked over at Kazuma, showing a bit of disappointment. "This is ridiculous" he spat as he took his foot off of Yato.

 They turned to look at Kazuma who had let out a high squeal. He appeared to be pinned up against the corner wall. His tie was undone and the top buttons of his shirt were also. He looked as if he was awkward and uncomfortable, his hands raised up to his chest. Bishamon crawled up onto him, his face was a stained red as so where her cheeks.

Yato let out a loud pained scream. "Look away Yukine!" he jumped up to him and covered his eyes. "This isn't anything you should be seeing...Ahhh" He yelled out again. "Stop stinging me!"

"Sorry! I panicked"

"Please, someone help me!" Kazuma yelled out from across the room.

"Kazumaaa" Bishamon spoke against his ear. "You're so warm" She purred as she rubbed herself onto his chest. 

"Vee-veena"

"HA! She's purring like a cat" Yato laughed. "Reminds me of that little story I wrote for you, doesn't it Kazuma" he hiccuped. 

"Is that what you're into Kazu-ma"

"Don't give her ideas Yato...Veena, you're not thinking clearly"

"Will you pet me, Kazuma?" with watered eyes she stared at him, begging.

"Veena..."

"We have those ears at home" her eyes lit up. "Let's go"

Kazuma thought back to the ears he had bought her when they went to Capybara land. She looked so cute in those ears. His face turned into an expression of lust and wonder. He had to shake those crazy thoughts out of his mind. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and softly shoved her off.

"We can't Veena" it's all he could manage to say as he kept himself together.

"You're quite rough today...I see, that must be what you want"

"Huh-?"

"You may tie me up like in those dirty books" she hiccuped against his chest. Her breast rubbing purposely on his shirt "Those...you hide of me in your closet"

"You found those!? No, you don't understand! Yato..." He turned over to look at Yato and Kofuku who were now laughing and rolling on the floor. 

"Come on, Kazuma there's no need to be shy" Kofuku spoke after a while of not hearing her voice. "Say cheese!" She snapped a shot with her camera phone.

"It's so hot in here" Bishamon took off her coat and began to pull off her tie. "Why do I have all this on?"

"You need to keep that on, Veena"

"But I'm hot!" She whined. "Take it off!" she began to unbutton her shirt.

Kazuma grabbed a hold of her wrist. "I wouldn't do that" letting out a loud sigh, he pulled her close. Her face dug into his neck and her chest was covered by his. "I think you've had a bit too much to drink. How about we rest now?" 

Her eyes were wide open in shock. Somehow she felt as if she had been bested. He shuck as he held her in his arms. His hand that laid on her waist gripped on the back of her shirt. The other softly held her head back. Softly he began to rub on her hair and he dug his face into her neck, down in embarrassment. Bishamon let out a small noise of satisfaction, and then threw herself deeper into his arms.

"Huh? Is it over now?" Yato questioned. "That's so lame" after a couple of seconds he felt a prick on the back of his neck. "Yukine..." His eyes glared at his regalia.

"Sorry, it's just-"

"What?"

Yukine rubbed his head and looked away. "It's so embarrassing, I feel guilty for watching"

"Ohhh" Yato felt a heavy weight jolt him down from his shoulders. "Hiyori!" He had become so distracted he had forgotten about her. He felt a sudden wetness on his shoulder, but couldn't look back to what was causing it.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Hiyori cried out. "Did you forget about me!"

Her eyes were filled with tears that ran down her cheeks. She gasped and hiccuped as she tried to wipe them away. Her cheeks were a strong rosy color, her eyes glossy and breathing shallow. She slid off of him, taking most of his jacket with her. She pulled on it until it was completely off. Yato didn't know how to react, he tried to stay as calm as possible. He slipped out of the sleeves in a means to get away from her. She cuddled onto the jacket, snuggling it tightly against her face. He couldn't tell by the already flushed face of the drunken Hiyori, but it appeared as if she was blushing. It was a muffled sound, but he was certain that she said something underneath her breath. She seemed to have finally calmed down, or so he thought; that was before the crying began once again. She opened up her eyes and looked right back at him. In a panic he scooted away from her, running his back against Yukine's leg. Hiyori proceeded to get on her knees and crawl towards him. He didn't know what to do, as he hugged onto Yukine's leg.

"Hey! let go of me!"

"Help me!" Hiyori stopped and stared at him, then managed to make herself look up. She kept switching her stare between both him and Yukine. "What are you looking at, Hiyori?" he asked calmly.

Hiyori moved her face closer towards his. They were inches away from each other. Yato was afraid to move, he could feel her warm breathing against his skin. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Despite his blurry vision he imagined the image of the perfect Hiyori who was before him. Her pupils appeared to move slowly, but it was obvious how she examined him. Hiyori lifted up one of her hands and rested it on his cheek.

"You're cold" she responded so calmly. "And your skin is so soft" she smiled as she pinched at his cheeks. She then ran her hand through his hair. Hiyori held it above his forehead and stared once again. "You have really pretty eyes" She tried to move, but her arm gave out as soon as it shifted. She fell forward and both froze from shock.

The sound of a flashing camera filled the now quiet room. That was before Kofuku's second outburst of laughter in that entire night burst out. Everyone could hear the loud smack against the wall as Yukine's back impacted with it. He stood there with his mouth wide open in shock. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to react. He looked down at his leg as Yato still held onto it. Yato's and Hiyori's eyes were both wide opened in disbelief as their lips now touched. Both of them afraid to move, it was a couple seconds before they made themselves pull away. Hiyori dug her face into her hands, as Yato dug his into Yukine's leg. Even as they hid their faces, their blood rushed all the way up to their ears. They turned back to look at each other, their eyes met and glued on, never wavering away. Hiyori went back on her knees and crawls towards him again. In a panic Yato squeezed tightly onto Yukines pants. She looked at him as if nothing had happened. Her eyes glowed in wonder with emotions that he couldn't understands. They stared at each other until she finally lunged herself at him.

"I'll keep you warm Yato" She began tugging at him and he tried to get away from her once again.

"How are you going to keep me warm, if you're about to rip my shirt off! Ahhh!" Yato yelled out in defense. 

Yato began to crawl away from her, but she was behind him with every move. She grabbed a hold of his waist, then down to his legs. He was always certain of her strength, but had she gotten stronger just by having one drink. He moaned out a sound of defeat and threw himself face first on the floor. The weight on his back was more than expected from Hiyori. Then he felt it, the feeling of her young breasts rubbing against him. Panicking he pushed himself up and back into a seating position. She began to tug on him again and he let it be. Giving up, he completely let her rip off his shirt. There was no use in fighting her. She seemed quite happy when it happened as she hugged him once again. 

Hiyori, now with her arms around Yato's neck cried. "I'm so happy you're okay!"

"Of course we're okay..." Yato's eyes soften at her sudden outburst of tears. He found her light weightiness very cute and innocent. He definitely sobered up as he thought back to the terrible events. All the shinki that had passed, all the injured gods. He remembered that it was Hiyori who had patched him up. Yato didn't know what he would have done without her.  "You must have been scared, huh. We were all scared, but we're okay now" he wrapped his arms around her and tighten his hold.

Hiyori's thoughts were short as she began to change the subjects over and over again. She would laugh and then randomly cry. There was no telling with Yato where it was going. Yet he held her when she needed to and played along when she asked.

Yukine sneaked out from behind them and away from the wall. He watched the scene unfold from the open doorway. He saw as the whole room played out like a terrible love fest. Kofuku and Diakoku laughed with each other in one corner, ignoring everyone around them. Bishamon and Kazuma now have fallen asleep in each others arms. Finally there was Yato and Hiyori, he held her tightly against him as she cried. He reassured her of all the terrible things that have passed. Then he began making her laugh with no problem. He let out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't know if it was from frustration or a bit of satisfaction as he let out a smirk. He slowly walked up the stairs light on his feet, figuring it was safe to go back to sleep. The next morning he walked down the steps to the sound of snickering. As he reached down, he walked into Kofuku who had walked out of the dinning area.

"Oh, good morning Yuki"

"Morning"

"I hope you slept well...Sorry if we kept you up last night. That sure was interesting though" She smiled and began to walk away. "Diakoku and I will have breakfast ready soon"

She hummed to herself as she walked towards the kitchen. As Yukine walked into the room, the first sight was Kazuma and Bishamon still sound asleep in the corner. Then as he walked a little further he ran into something. He looked down at a shirtless Yato, Yukine's eyes changed into angered daggers at the sight of him. Yato held tightly on Hiyori from behind and snuggled up to her neck. Hiyori was covered by his jacket and laying her head on his extended arm. Yet as she rolled over it was hard to miss that her jacket had gone missing and her shirt was more unbuttoned than usual. Looking around he found her jacket had been tossed aside, along with the ribbon that goes on her neck. With quick reflexes he kicked Yato on the side.

Yato let out a painful screeched and pushed himself up from the floor. He grabbed hold of his now bruised ribs and turned over towards Yukine "What the hell is your problem!?" he asked confusedly

"Don't give me that, what did you do to Hiyori" He pointed at her, surprised that she didn't wake up. "She was fully clothed when I went to sleep last night. You pervert!"

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything to her" he turned to look at the flushed face Hiyori. She leaned in closer and snuggled into his leg. It wasn't hard to miss her unbutton shirt as he peaked down at her. A huge realization hit him soon after. "Ah!" He crawled away from her.

"What's with all the noise?" a sleepy sounded Bishamon asked as she pushed herself off of Kazuma's chest. Her face turned bright red as he opened his eyes. "Kazuma..."

"Morning Veena"

"Yato...what time is it?" Hiyori rubbed her eyes as she sat up from the floor. Yato's jacket fell off of her shoulders. "Where is my jacket?" she turned to look at everyone in the room. Her face flushed, yet her memory wasn't clear, she felt as if something had happened last night.

Yato slammed his palms onto the floor and got on his knees. Hiyori looked at him with great confusion.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do anything to you...if I did anything at all...Ahhh! I can't remember a thing" yato cried out.

"What are you talking about?"

As Yato was about to speak he was cut by the voices coming from the kitchen. "Kazu! Bisha! I hear that you're awake, can you come help me with this?" Kofuku called out.

"Very well, we are on our way Lady Kofuku" 

Kazuma and Bishamon both walked out and went into the kitchen. It was a matter of minutes until they heard the pain screams of the calamity god, and the yells of the human girl. Kofuku laughed as she could hear Yato break from all the names Hiyori was yelling out at him. 

"You pervert, what did you do to me!"

"I don't know" Yato cried out. "You're the one that tried to undress me last night!"

"I-" she backed away in shock. "That can't be true"

"Yeah, you ripped up my shirt, and you refused to give me back my jacket"

"There's no way I did that!"

"You guys want to remember what happened last night? I have plenty of photos" Kofuku said as she peaked inside from the kitchen. They all walked in with plates of food and sat down. "I can show you guys my favorites" She seemed excited which filled everyone else with worry. She took out her phone and scrolled through it. "Look Bisha! you were really fun last night"

As Bishamon took her phone, she began to shake and turn hot red. Kazuma looking from over her shoulder froze. Kofuku took her phone back as she had broken the mighty war god and her regalia. They dug their faces onto the table in shame.

"Whoa, what happened between them last night?" Yato leaned in and whispered in Hiyori's ear.

"You two were especially fun" Kofuku stretched her arm out across the table. 

Hiyori jumped up and blushed from shock and embarrassment. As Yato sat frozen in place with eyes wide opened. 

"There's no way..." Hiyori said as she got up and grabbed her things. "I should really get home" she laughed nervously. She turned to Yato who had not moved. Her face turning an even brighter color. "I'm so sorry" she called out as she ran away.

"You alright there Yatty? Hiyori just left and you didn't say a word"

"I kissed Hiyori..." he began to repeat under his breath. "That's awesome!" His face began to blush as he spoke those words. "wait, no, I didn't mean that"

"You're an idiot Yato..." Yukine commented. "I wonder how long it'll be until Hiyori wants to come over again"

"Yeah, that's true" Yato stood up from the table and ran up the stairs. He quickly reappeared again with a shirt on and put his jacket over it as always. 

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go get Hiyori"

"Are you-" Yato had already ran out the door. "Yato, wait!" Yukine ran after him. 

Kofuku hummed to herself as she took a bite of her food. Bishamon and Kazuma ate in silence. Diakoku finally sat down beside his goddess and sighed.

"Why do you do these things?" He said as he rubbed hard on her head. "It was you who undressed Hiyori, wasn't it?"

Kofuku thought back to a couple of hours ago. She remembered holding a sleepy Hiyori in her arms. She remembered her crying out about how uncomfortable she felt. Kofuku began to dress her down, to help her with the heat she was feeling. She had moved her from across the room and laid her down beside Yato. Taking his jacket she draped it on her like a blanket and she wished her a goodnight. 

Kofuku smiled at the memory. "You seem to always know everything, Diakoku. I think it's fun playing these games with my dear friends" she giggled.

"Well it looks like you broke those two" He pointed over at the only ones remaining in their home. "And now things are probably going to become complicated with those three"

"I don't think so"

"Oh yeah? and why not?"

"Well people always say that you become more honest when you drink" She winked over at her regalia. "I'm sure good things will happen to Yatty and Hiyori...Yuki too...They just need to be more honest with each other"

"Are you like some evil mastermind or something?"

"Haha, nope" she leaned over with food on her chopsticks and fed Diakoku. "Just like playing match maker, that's all"

[blakedawson76]

Batfamily as Non-Bats Snapshots

Earlier today when I was browsing through Facebook I came across this really adorable page full of interesting facts and cute pics about several animals. I found several, but the ones about the capybaras were the most adorable, and I couldn't help but think of the Batfamily and especially Dick and Jason. So, I present to you!

1. Bruce with his little toddlers as they whine for ice cream

2. Alfred with his grandchildren as they tell him how Bruce was a meanie because he didn't buy them ice cream

And here are snapshots of little Dick being hyperactive and poor cute Jason needing a break from such a bright little kid ❤❤❤

Rise and shine Jay!

... Dickie, it's Saturday!

Do I look good for the pic? Jay, Jay! I don't want to have my eyes closed

How am I supposed to know? I don't have the camera!

Do you think he did it? You think he was the one who stole the cookies?

Dickie, we've seen this movie four times already

Jay, I think there's something in your eye!

Diiiiick get off me!

Broooose! Happy birth—

Not yet, Dickie!

Jayyyyyyyy! Jay, Jay, come here! I need to recharge my energy, hug time!

Dickie you're not a— oomph!

And that's it for the really silly and dumb post and pics :D

[andrewmoocow]

Fooly Falls 2 Ride on Shooting Star chapter 2: Return of the Vespa Woman (originally posted on February 23, 2019)

AN: Sorry for the long wait my beloved audience, had some computer problems that needed fixing. While that was going on, I had already started work on the forthcoming third chapter titled "Beach Episodes for the Win!" so maybe expect that to come out sometime in March. But for now, let us finally return to the lives of Gwen & Tyrone Pines with our latest chapter. WKH VWRUB RI WKUHH NLGV DQG WKHLU IULHQGV' VXPPHU WKH OXVW D ELNHU KDV IRU D VSDFH JRG KHU RWKHU KDOI ZKRP VKH FRQVLGHUV D EXPPHU WKLV LV WKH PRPHQW HYHUBWKLQJ EHFRPHV RGG

Gwen slowly opened her eyes and discovered that she was in the middle of a field under a bright sun and blue sky, almost like she was in a storybook. "Where am I?" she wondered rubbing her furry head. 'Wait, fur?' she thought looking at her hand, or rather her paw before gazing at her reflection in a puddle. Somehow, she had been turned into a Calico kitten with her beanie cap and red flannel jacket still on, leading her to believe this was all a dream. "Turned into a cat. Can this get any weirder?" "There you are you lazy bum!" she heard her brother bark. Turning around, she found a dog that pretty much looked exactly like Tyrone, quasar T-shirt, fluffy hair, inexplicable bandage on his face and all. "I've been wondering where you were! Come on, the picnic's already underway!" "Picnic?" Gwen pondered before Tyrone dragged her away by the tail. She gazed upon the cartoon-like flora before the twins reached a beautiful park at the end of the field inhabited by animal versions of their family & friends, and then some. "Top of the morning to you children." a pink-scaled chameleon leaning on a yellow scooter greeted them. "Good day to you too miss." Tyrone replied before a group of four penguins led them to their loved ones. However unknown to them, the chameleon's benign expression turned into an evil grin. "Your family awaits children." one of the penguins stated politely gesturing to the Pines, who were also now animals. Dipper & Mabel were also dogs, Wendy was a cat, Pacifica as a pony with Arnold as a mouse on her back, Stan as a gorilla still in his wheelchair and Ford as an armadillo. "So glad you could make it you two." Dipper said tenderly licking their faces. "Yep, you're in for one jolly holiday!" Mabel cheerfully added. Just then, the penguins gathered together and performed a big dance number for everyone, to their applause. "Gotta love those penguins dude!" a bear version of Soos commented. Behind him were Melody as a kangaroo with Abby in her pouch, Ian as an elephant, Leia as a mongoose, Juan & Jorge as capybaras and Imelda as a mole. "My personal fave has to be Rico!" "Yep, nothing can spoil today now!" Stan exclaimed, but however he spoke too soon when the chameleon from earlier wheeled up behind the Pines on her scooter. "Someone's right behind me ready to spoil today, isn't there?" The others nodded before the chameleon stated "Flattery will get you nowhere." and she pulled out a sapphire-colored banjo to play. "Been quite a long while, hasn't it you filthy snake?!" Stan snarled getting up from his wheelchair to beat his chest. "Oh, my body!" "Of course it has Fezhead! Or I guess I should call you Spinster now since it has been twenty years." the chameleon remarked. "How old are you now, 78? 79?" "Seventy-nine, and still young enough to get back at you for what you've done to my family!" Stan shouted preparing for a fight, but the chameleon stopped him. "No no no, not a fight. Why don't we face off in something a bit more suitable for this opening segment?" "Like what?" Ford asked, fearing what's to come. "LIKE BASKETBALL!" the chameleon shouted tearing off her clothes to reveal a red and black uniform before the park turned into a big stadium; complete with a scoreboard, an audience of cheering fans, the works. "Greetings sports fans, I'm your lovable host here with what is sure to be a pulse-pounding match!" the leading penguin announced serving as commentator. "On one side of the court, we got our beloved Gravity Falls Gnomes!" The team, led by Stan and consisting of Gwen, Tyrone, Dipper, Mabel, Ford & Arnold were on one side of the court as they waved to the audience. "And on the other side is the return of the equally celebrated Forest Freaks led by Haruko Haruhara!" the second much taller penguin declared causing fans to roar even louder. "I did not consent to this!" Ian, as a member of the Forest Freaks alongside Leia, Juan, Jorge, Imelda and Haruko as captain, screamed amongst the cheering. "Now fans, it's time to come on and slam!" the smallest penguin announced in a high-pitched British accent which was followed by a fourth penguin shouting "KABOOM!" With that, the game finally began as much as the Gravity Falls Gnomes didn't want to. The Forest Freaks were absolutely clobbering them with over 9,000 points compared to their 1,006 despite only being ten seconds in. "What do we do now Stan?" Dipper asked getting tossed into a hoop alongside the ball, scoring the Forest Freaks another point. "The opposing team is just MURDERING us!" "I think I know how." Stan boldly stated beating his chest to signal Ford. "Sixer, bring me the secret stuff!" he commanded. "But Stanley, that would be cheating AND you would die!" the armadillo exclaimed before a mosquito with white hair and shades flew into view. "He's right Stanley, this could be a horrible idea!" "Outta they way you!" Haruko shouted swallowing the mosquito with her tongue. "Come on gramps, show me what you got!" she challenged while beginning to glow red. "Iiii'm waaaaaaiting!" "Give it to me now Ford!" Stan ordered holding out his large leathery hand. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." Ford resigned handing his brother a water bottle labeled "Micheal's Secret Stuff", but with Michael hastily crossed out and replaced with Stan's name. Stan crushed the bottle in his gorilla hands and gulped down the water that spilled from it, causing him to grow larger & larger until he became a giant rampaging simian that wouldn't seem out of place with a lovely actress in his mitts. Haruko did the same as a result of swallowing the white-haired mosquito, only she turned into a gargantuan lizard that smelled of atomic energy. "Whoa, that's so awesome!" Tyrone cheered while the spectators ran for cover. "This cannot end well!" Ford added curling up into a ball and rolling away. The two foes roared at each other before Haruko breathed atomic fire that Stan tossed his fist at, causing a massive explosion to turn the colorful animal dreamworld into a greyscale wasteland. However, Gwen got back up after ducking away from the explosion to find the entire stadium reduced to nothing. Nothing except for the fallen gorilla corpse of her great-grunkle. "It was not the atomic explosion that took his life, 'twas beauty that killed the beast." one of the penguins mourned the demise of Stan as he and his three comrades revealed themselves to be alive. "What's going on?" Gwen cried as her horn began to act up again. "Is this another nightmare or maybe even a vision of what's to come?" "By my calculations, most likely the latter. Minus the basketball game." the tall penguin analyzed just as a rumbling sound was heard shaking the ground. The five discovered another large iron headed straight for them while the scarlet silhouette of a large bird flapped its wings above them. "Just like in my last nightmare." the Pines daughter muttered before the smallest of the penguins shoved her away. "Ms. Pines, it's been an honor." the four penguins solemnly stated with a salute before they were flattened by the iron. This is what caused Gwen to transform into her robot mode and take on the iron as the bird roared.

"Wake up sweetie!" Dipper cried shaking his slumbering daughter, now with a bandage on her forehead. "Should I find another horse head to scare her with?" Tyrone asked. "No, I don't want this to be a repeat of last time son." his father stated. "Big Tiny's son Medium went on a rampage that day." Just then, Gwen finally woke up and realized she was back to human form. "Tyrone, Daddy!" she exclaimed hugging her dad. "Thank goodness none of us are animals playing basketball that are killed by a nuclear explosion!" "Not even gonna ask." Dipper bluntly said sticking two unlit cigarettes labeled "Never knows best" in his mouth. "Maybe it's one of her nightmares!" Tyrone guessed just as they heard someone running a bath. "Who could that be?" "I'm standing right there." Wendy announced suddenly standing right behind her husband. "Wow, we didn't even need to mention you and yet here you are!" Dipper exclaimed. "But who else could be in the bathtub at this-oh no." "Oh no what dad?" Gwen asked before her father left the kids' bedroom. "Hold on a sec, I just realized who." he said marching down the upstairs hall to the bathroom and knocking on the door. "Can't a woman get some privacy?!" a familiar nasal voice shouted. "But then again, I on the other hand wouldn't mind." With a single groan, Dipper slammed open the door and his face turned an even brighter shade of red at the sight of Haruko Haruhara reclining in the bathtub while staring sensually at him. "Long time no see Takkun." "I thought we were past all that! You even called me Dipper when you first left!" the formerly young detective cried spitting out his cigarettes. "And why are you in my bathtub?!" "Just thought I needed one after my long trip back here. Care to join me?" Haruko proposed showing off her sudsy chest. "No thank you, but I still need to get ready anyway." Dipper declined squirting toothpaste on his toothbrush to begin his day before he was asked another question. "So, you finally swung the bat eh?" Dipper loudly spat out both his toothpaste and brush in response. "That again Haruko?!" he screamed slamming against the countertop of the sink. "Aw come on Dipper, I just wanted to say how happy I am that you found love!" the Vespa Woman clarified. "Though to be honest, I always thought you swung better with the blonde than Wendy." "Pacifica? Oh, she told Mabel that she swung the other way when we were all eighteen. The two of them adopted a son named Arnold." Dipper explained, which prompted Haruko to ask another question. "Oh yeah speaking of which, how's the rest of the fam doing?" "Wendy and I got married and are raising two beautiful children named Gwen & Tyrone." Haruko's former Takkun answered. "Gwen is a very smart and gentle girl but I wish weren't so distant from others. Maybe it's because of that hat she wears. And Tyrone is pretty much a younger version of both his aunt and mother, just a big ball of energy that can't be stopped." "And what of your grunkles?" the biker continued. "They've just gotten old and are still living at the Mystery Shack, though Stan is in a wheelchair being watched over by Soos and his family." the older Dipper added. "Which reminds me, I should really be getting there by now." "Let me take you, Vespa's out back." Haruko proposed beginning to get out of the tub. "Oh no, no no no!" Dipper cried fearing what to expect from her while her reflection looked on. "Do not do what I think you're going to do, especially since you're naked!" Pulling a shampoo hat from out of nowhere and placing it on Dipper's head, Haruko began fishing around his hair before she pulled another guitar out, just as large as the last one. "This is a 1967 model Mustang!" she gasped in awe. "MAMA LIKE!" "Heh, that's what she said." Dipper stammered woozily as he fell into a daze while Haruko departed, and her reflection stayed behind staring awkwardly. Minutes later, Wendy stepped in to find his unconscious body. "Dipper, some naked woman just ran out the bathroom with a Mustang!" she called. "You okay honey? Oh no! Tyrone, can you bring your mother the horse head?

"So tell me Miss, what's your name again?" Ford asked Jinyu in the kitchen as he lit up a cigarette. "Julia Jinyu. And I suppose you must be Stanford Pines, the man who wanted to change the world but instead fought the occult. Jinyu answered feeding Abby breakfast. "Interesting." Stanford responded writing on a notepad. "Now tell me, what's your business with running over my great-grandniece; apologizing for her still being alive, deciding to start working at the Mystery Shack and converting my old room into a living space for yourself?" "I simply came here on official business, preventing history from repeating itself by defending your family." the Bel-Air babe answered. "Wait just a sec," Ford muttered. "a guitarist runs over a young child with her vehicle and decides to move in with us as a maid. You wouldn't happen to know Haruko Haruhara, wouldn't you?" "Indeed I do. In fact-" Jinyu began before she was interrupted by Gwen, Tyrone & Wendy carrying a barely conscious Dipper into the kitchen. "F-Ford?" the father woozily called stabilizing himself on the table. "A-and you a-are?" "Remember children, beware the woman on the Ves-" Jinyu tried to warn the twins but was instead grabbed by the shoulder by a dazed Dipper. "Whatcha dooooin'?" he slurred sitting her back down. "Although it's nice you're sitting her down for my little survey, I think she was trying to warn them!" Ford exclaimed as Jinyu tried again while Gwen and Tyrone left for the gift shop. "Remember kids, the woman on the Vespa!"

Meanwhile in the shopping area of the Mystery Shack, it was business as usual. "You ever tried fasting until you're dead?" Juan asked while he, Jorge and Arnold sat around a coffee cup like a campfire. "Oh totally, didn't you remember when I went to the hospital for attempting that?!" Jorge answered. "Are you kidding?" Arnold shouted. "You could've really died!" "Don't be so milquetoast man, it's really uncool. Try and have some fun." Juan chided him. "Milquetoast, milquetoast! Toast doesn't taste good in mi-ilk!" the twins chanted pointing at him. "Quit it you guys! Maybe toast does taste good in milk!" Arnold whimpered before he ran out the door. "I'll prove it to all of you!" Just as Arnold left, Haruko suddenly barged in. "Hey everybody, it's your fave character!" she announced to the cheers of customers and a sitcom soundboard app on Juan's phone. "Works like a charm." An organ then started backing Haruko up as her clothes suddenly changed into priest attire and the spotlight shone on her. "The world you live in is now overflowing irresponsibly. No matter which direction you look, you'll see the world is full of those who defile other and their surroundings with selfish delusions!" she declared. "And I truly believe that this is solely the fault of the adults of this world and when I say that, I unfortunately include myself among them. I am so sorry. I cannot think like I used to! I can no longer continue. Puupipi." "Morning everyone!" Mabel greeted stepping into the room and noticing the sermon taking place. "Uh, did I run into the community center because their cult meetings are every Wednesday. Though thankfully no one's being sacrificed." "Even if I try to think what's best for this planet, I think about the mold I haven't noticed before or the hair that grows out of it!" the Vespa preacher continued. "I can't help but think about these things. World, universe. To be honest, I don't care! Because it's not actually my fault! Puupupu." The audience tearfully exchanged that last word with Haruko a few times before running up to embrace her while the kids looked on. "What is up with her?" Tyrone wondered. "Yeah, I mean no one would be that ridiculous to mention moles & hair in a speech about how idiotic the world is!" Jorge added drinking a bottle of sriracha sauce. "They'd be a complete nutcase!" "There there, you're all good." Haruko soothed the crowd. "Hey I got an idea, why don't we have a Disney-style musical number to cheer y'all up?!" "Can we sing Step in Time?!" Tyrone asked excitedly. "Sure, whatever you want sport." the Vespa Woman beamed putting on the music and clapping along. "Step in time, step in time! Come on mateys, step in time!" "Step in time! Step in time, step in time!" the chorus obeyed forming a kickline. "Step in time, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! All you gotta do is step in time!" "Link your elbows!" Tyrone cheered joining in on the number. "Link your elbows, step in time!” the backup replied while Mabel joined them. "Link your elbows, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! Link your elbows and step in time!" "What's going on?" Ian asked when he, Leia and their parents stepped into the room. "What's going on, step in time! What's going on, step in time!" the kickline exclaimed switching to a conga line. "Sounds like a party! Wait for me you guys!" Leia cried joining the dancers. "Wait for me, step in time! Wait for me, step in time!" "Sorry that I have to leave so soon, but I need to check out what's going on!" Dipper called stepping out the living area to find a musical number taking place, with Haruko leading the conga line wearing a sombrero & shaking maracas while Tyrone, Mabel, Leia, Juan, Jorge and Soos were among the line. "Why are we singing?" "Why are we singing, step in time! Why are we singing, step in time!" the singers repeated his question before they turned from a conga line to a riverdance just as Stan came wheeling in, which made Dipper say "Good morning Grunkle Stan!" "Good morning Grunkle Stan, step in time! Good morning Grunkle Stan, step in time!" the dance company repeated which prompted Stan to shout "What's all this?!" in shock. "What's all this, what's all this, what's all this!" "No, I'm being serious! Stop singing everything I say!" Stan added getting more frustrated. "Everything I say, step in-" Suddenly the elderly con-man whipped out a rifle and started opening fire, making everyone run around panicking. "Now whoever says step in time again is gonna have to pay the price!" the crippled grunkle threatened. "I'm not gonna point any fingers here, but I am pointing this at your fingers. And trust me when I say, you're gonna miss the middle one!" The dancers dispersed and most of them ran out of the hovel in a single file line while Stan angrily waved his firearm around. "That's right, keep running! And stay out!" he shouted slamming the door. "Can't believe that woman, she forced me to chase off potential customers." "Fezhead, it's been ages!" Haruko shouted happily. "Hey, did you gain weight, is that a new fez? Very snazzy on you!" Stan on the other hand just smacked her in the face hard with his tennis ball cane and sent her flying into the wall with a bloody face and some teeth missing. "What's up with that? Is that the way to treat an old friend?" "Old friends don't sacrifice family members to get it on with giant birds!" Stan screamed as loud as his geriatric vocal chords could take it. "There was this one time when Ford and I were forced to eat dead birds! AND THEIR GENITALS DIDN'T TASTE ANY GOOD!" "Hey chill out you two!" Mabel ordered trying to be a mediator between the great uncle and the bassist. "Now, I know Haruko may be a complete maniac that nearly killed us all, but let's focus on all her positive qualities and let bygones be bygones." "Yeah for example, I did give some important life lessons in my own bizarre fashion." Haruko added turning away from Stan with her hands behind her head and a satisfied grin on her face. "And she can be pretty reliable when the situation calls for it." Dipper agreed. "You can say that about her, right?" "Okay, I can give Raharu that." Stanley stated turning away as well, which sent chills down Haruko's spine. "H-h-how did you know?" she stuttered fearfully. "I overheard that other guitar lady say that regarding you, about how it could be your real name." the old man answered. "To be honest, I can relate to that." "Oh-ho my, look at the time! I gotta go...find a crate that'll take me to Abu Dhabi!" Haruko nervously fibbed before she jumped backwards out the window. However in the exact same amount of time, she jumped back inside in front of Gwen. "Hey Gwen, think you could find that Arnold kid? He left before I came in." She dove back out the window just as Jinyu stepped in. "That was her, the woman on the Vespa!" "You mean Haruko? Yeah, she's an absolute hellion but what's gotten you panicking?" Stan remarked. "Jinyu said she came here to defend us Stanley, and I think this is what she was talking about." Ford explained. "Why don't we take things somewhere more private?" "That sounds reasonable." Jinyu replied. "But what about the children?" she asked bringing up the twins. "Don't worry Jinyu, they're in good hands." Stan assured her. "Just as long as a certain someone doesn't creep on them." When the door shut, the kids were left alone in the gift shop with Wendy, Pacifica, Soos and Melody. "So any idea on where Arnold went?" Tyrone asked. "Well sometimes I see him walk to that new Little Asia place they've been building lately." Ian answered. "You know the one. They have food vendors, a karaoke bar, hot spring, basically all the stereotypical Asian tourist stuff." "And Professor Chiu is a pretty big part in helping create it!" Leia added excitedly. "Plus her dreamboat of a son Ezra!" "Does this mean we're going on a trip?" Tyrone chirped. "Woo, going Japanese baby!" Juan cheered. "And let's not try to be insensitive unlike last time." Jorge added. "I can still see the sumo yakuza crushing me between their stomachs when I close my eyes." "Great, I'll get my truck around and we can head off!" Wendy stated. "Hey Dipper, we're going to Little Asia! Do you and the others wanna come with?" "Can't right now honey, but we'll catch up with you!" Dipper replied walking downstairs with his sister, great-uncles and Jinyu into Ford's old room that the maid turned into her own. "All right Jinyu, we need to talk." "Yeah, we wants answers!" Mabel said shining a light in Jinyu's face. "While I wouldn't get them out of her like that," Ford replied pushing the light away. "there are some questions that need answering. Namely, where did you come from? What is your connection to Haruko? Why is her hair suddenly orange now?" "Me and Raharu? Okay then." Jinyu answered without missing a beat. "She and I are indeed related.”

The trip to Little Asia didn't take very long, but it did give Gwen time to think about her horn and her father's history with that woman before she spotted the robot that attacked her, Tyrone and Arnold now working as a crossing guard who gave the girl a friendly wave. "We're finally here!" Tyrone cheered when they finally reached Gravity Falls' newest tourism hotspot. Like it's namesake continent, there were brightly-colored signs, food stands all around and various places to hang out like a karaoke club at the center of it all. "Come on everyone, say it with me!" Juan shouted raising his hands like he just doesn't care; and he, Jorge and Tyrone cried "BANZAI!" before tilting to one side. "Let's net get too excited." Gwen stated hopping down from the logging truck. "We still need to find Arnold." "Hey, I can see Ezra and his mom over there!" Leia said pointing to Ezra Chiu, a skinny young man with short black hair wearing a white button-up shirt and glasses speaking with his mother Candy about additional plans for Little Asia. Suddenly Ezra noticed the kids and grimaced. "Oh, hello children." "What up hotstuff?" Leia flirtatiously greeted Ezra, to his displeasure. "I swear to God Leia, if you ask me out on another beach date and wear something insanely revealing again, I'm filing a restraining order!" Ezra complained before his mother put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Be nice my boy, they're family friends." "Affirmed mother." Candy's son groaned in defeat. "So what brings you to Little Asia everyone?" he asked with a fake smile. "We're looking for my cousin Arnold and it's been said he comes here a lot." Gwen answered. "Do you know where?" "Oh yes, he works as a waiter at the Bloated Dragon karaoke club." Ezra explained thumbing to that very building marked with a neon sign depicting an overstuffed dragon. "Though you should definitely watch your step in there since that's the favorite hangout for-" "The sumo yakuza, we know!" Jorge interrupted shivering in fear and trying to take his mind off that terrifying event. "Hey look, takoyaki!" he exclaimed pointing to a food truck manned by a familiar girl. "Sold by that cultist girl from earlier!" "What up kids, what poison would you like to pick today?" Haruko offered flaunting her goods in a pair of shorts and a crop top covered by an apron with her hair in pigtails. "And hello there there handsome!" "Hey, I called dibs you culinary transport wench!" Leia shouted shielding Ezra from the biker's advances. "Give me everything you've got!" Tyrone exclaimed slamming a wad of hundred dollar bills on the counter. "Oh-ho, someone's a big spender." Haruko chortled handing the boy all her stock. "Enjoy your street food, pyon!" "You do realize they literally have octopuses in them, right?" Juan asked before he got a takoyaki stuffed into his mouth. "Hey, these ain't half bad!"

While they continued searching for Arnold, the Pines and Ramirez families were given a tour of Little Asia by Candy & Ezra, seeing all the sights, eating the food and buying souvenirs. "What do you think, is it your color?" Pacifica asked her niece while she modeled a pink yukata with crescent moon patterns. "It's okay if you don't like it, there's this other Prussian blue one that's got sunflowers on them." "No, it's fine." Gwen muttered before Jorge kicked down a door with his new pair of geta. "Check out my rockin' new sandals!" he announced. "Definitely leagues more comfy than those old clogs!" Meanwhile Ezra rested in the hot springs, letting all his troubles waft away with the steam. That is, except for one trouble when Leia sat down beside him in the buff. "This is the life, eh Ez?" "Uh, shouldn't you have a towel on?" Ezra yipped in surprise at his admirer relaxing naked next to him. "I mean, it doesn't matter but it's still good manners!" "Aw come on honey, I'm an attractive girl with an attractive boy, both naked together." Leia stated before the half-Korean teen interrupted her. "If you're implying what I think you're implying, then no!" he shouted. "Can't we just hang out like normal teenagers without you advancing on me?" "Yeah, maybe you're right." the eldest Ramirez daughter realized. "Why don't we be just friends for a bit, if that makes you happy?" she offered. "That would be so much better." Ezra agreed. In the shopping district of Little Asia, Ian walked Abby out of a store with a straw hat on her head. "I don't know how many dollars is 5,000 yen, but I'm pretty sure I gave up a good portion of my college fund to get you that hat." he remarked. "That's okay big brother, because I got something for you too!" Abby revealed presenting her brother with a kabuki mask. "Hey, that's awesome! Thanks Abby!" "How have you not passed out from the amount of food you've eaten yet?!" Juan cried dragging an exhausted Tyrone by the arm while the other boy clutched his stomach with the other. "I won't give up just yet!" Tyrone declared raising a finger to the air before he started getting dizzy and fell down. "Okay, now I give up." "That reminds me, why haven't we given up on finding Arnold yet?" Imelda asked putting her hands on her hips. "Everyone seems more concerned about Little Asia itself than looking for him." "You do realize that we're now right in front of that Bloated Dragon place Ezra mentioned, right?" Juan pointed out gesturing to the marquee of the club. "I think Arnold works there." "Yeah, let's go inside and see!" Tyrone woozily said while getting up. "Are we finally going in there?" Gwen asked walking up to them in her pink moon yukata. "Yeah! And your new bathrobe looks nice." her brother answered complimenting her attire while opening the door.

"But through it all, when there was doubt!" a man with long black hair passionately sang My Way in a duet with another mustached man wearing glasses. "I ate it up, and spit it out!" the other man added just as loud. "The record shows, I took the blows!" the duo finished their number while the crowd cheered. "AND DID IT MY WAY!" "Thank you Curtis and Greg for that beautiful rendition of a Frank Sinatra classic!" the MC announced as the two men left the stage. "Now if anyone else would like to make a request, the suggestion box is open for all guests of the Bloated Dragon!" The Bloated Dragon itself looked very lively, filled with residents of Gravity Falls and tourists flooding the establishment. Off to the side was the bar where a dandy looking gentleman tended to it. "If you find any very rotund people in suit jackets, be sue to keep your eyes off them at all times." Jorge cautioned Gwen & Tyrone while making sure they did not grab the attention of the three sumo yakuza. One had blonde hair, blue sumo briefs and a white jacket. The second was Asian with red briefs and a grey jacket. The third one had dark skin with black briefs and a matching jacket. "Joseph Ramirez!" the Asian sumo yakuza yelled slapping his palm on the table. "You still owe us a great amount of chocolatey water as recompense for insulting our posteriors!" "Wait, did you call their-" Tyrone wondered before he was cut off. "You two just sit at the bar while I settle things." he informed the twins as he stepped away from them. "Konichiwa my friends! How's it going tonight?" "Good day to you children. What shall you have?" the effeminate bartender asked pouring a few drinks. "We'll have two iced teas sir." Gwen quietly ordered. "And I'll take mine in a dirty glass!" Tyrone added to the admiration of the barkeep. "Oh-ho my, someone's playing tough!" "I'm not playing tough, I am tough!" Tyrone shouted squinting one eye and spitting into a bucket. "Aw, you're just precious sonny." the mixologist said patting the boy on the head before serving the kids their iced teas. "Here's your tea children. Drink up now!" "Why does he think I'm not tough? I remember when I tried to go all Schwarzenegger on that robot that tried to kill us and Arnold!" Tyrone complained sipping his tea. "Maybe it's because deep down, you're only acting that way to seem mature in front of others while not wanting to grow up." a biker sitting next to them fiddling with a bowl of mixed nuts answered. "Tarot Turner, at your service." "Is that like a stagename or something?" Tyrone asked shaking Turner's hand. "Indeed it is. My real name is Timothy." Turner stated. "If my name didn't tell you yet, I'm a fortune teller. With a literal grasp of my client's hand, I can get a whole lotta info on them!" "What kind of info?" Gwen asked finishing her iced tea. "Let me show you." Tarot answered taking the girl's hand, and with a small glint in his eyes began listing off various things about her. "Your name is Gwendolyn Kristen Pines, age 12, birthdate February 21, 2020. Your birthstone is amethyst and star sign Pisces. Despite your emotionless exterior, deep down lies an intelligent, loving young woman. You have a Little Dipper birthmark on your forehead similar to your father, who's own birthmark is the Big Dipper. You were only ten years old when you had your first p-" "Hey, she wanted you to show her what you've got; not be a total creep!" Tyrone shouted defensively. "Don't get so wound up, it's normal for girls. If you were one, you'd understand better." Turner commented. "Speaking of which..." He took Tyrone's hand and began listing his information. "Your name is Tyrone Filbrick Pines, age 9, birthdate June 23, 2023. Your birthstone is pearl and star sign Cancer. You are an energetic lad who will not hesitate to protect his loved ones. A lover of the great outdoors with a natural talent for knitting inherited from your paternal aunt." "What do those say about us mister?" Gwen asked as Turner let go of Tyrone's hand. "Well here's something I found within the both of you, the fear of getting older." Tarot stated. "Now before you ask what children your age wouldn't; let me explain further, especially to you Gwen. You have recurring nightmares of losing everyone from your friends to your family and eventually yourself." "Yeah, she kinda thinks too far into the future a lot." Tyrone replied. "That is very good to know children." Turner responded. "And speaking of the future, CAN SOMEBODY TURN OFF THAT BITCH OF A PRESIDENT?!" he suddenly screamed at the television above them where President Maki Kitaki was making a flowery yet harsh speech. "SERIOUSLY, POLITICS ARE CORRUPT ENOUGH BUT DO WE NEED AN OLD HAG LIKE HER RUNNING THINGS?!" "I got it!" Tyrone chirped throwing his dirty glass at the television, causing the screen to break and fall to the ground. "He said turn it off, but breaking it works too." the bartender quipped. "Oy vey. Just when the giant carrot finally got chopped, we get a shriveled up prune to replace him." "Rumor has it Senator Gideon is plotting to impeach her and become prez when the time comes." Turner declared with a confident grin. "Hey I hate to be rude, but what's all these political jokes got to do with our futures?" Tyrone replied curiously just as a door beside the countertop opened, and Arnold stepped out with a plate of wineglasses in his hands. "Oh hey, there's Arnold!" "Here-here are your drinks sirs." Arnold whimpered serving the wines. The three criminals glared at their orders before the Asian sumo took his glass. Mere moments after taking a sip, he loudly spat the beverage in the boy's face. "This is not what I ordered! For this great dishonor to our organization, you shall suffer our girth!" "No Tubby-dono, yamate!" Arnold cried in fear while the black-clad sumo picked him up by the arms and Tubby unbuttoned his jacket to reveal a large imprint shaped like Jorge on his wide stomach. "Please have mercy on the guy my friends!" Jorge begged. "Let me take his place! I've already survived that belly, I can do it again!" "You stay outta this man!" the blonde sumo ordered preparing to crush Arnold. "Is everyone just going to stand and watch?" Tyrone shouted ready to defend his cousin when he was stopped by the barkeep. "I'm sorry young man, but this is a regular occurrence with the sumo yakuza here." he said. "But thankfully no one's died of suffocation! Yet." Gwen however just stood & watched as Arnold was tortured by the obese gangsters and began having visions of her cousin falling victim to the atomic explosion from her nightmare. Her beanie began trembling as she dropped to her knees moaning in agony. "Gwen!" Tyrone exclaimed concernedly. "I see something is wrong with your sister!" Turner added just as worried for the girl. "Is there a doctor in the house?!" he called out for a doctor as one rose up from his table to declare "I am not a doctor!" "Well, we tried." the barman said with a shrug. Gwen continued screaming before her expression turned from pain to rage at the yakuza. "Leave him alone!" she screamed at the two sumo crushing him between their bellies. "Look at her. For a girl so little, she seems so strong." Tubby remarked dropping the boy while he and his compatriot bowed in respect. "May good fortune be unto you." "This is much like what I said about your brother!" Tarot exclaimed. "Deep down, you care for your family and fear losing them as you get older!" "Y-you saved my life." Arnold stuttered in amazement. "T-thank you so much!" He burst into tears hugging Gwen, who then collapsed in his arms. "OMG, are you okay?!" "Don't fret kid. Just get her changed into regular clothes, put her behind the counter and call your families." Tarot advised helping the girl up.

"We came as fast as we could!" Leia shouted barging into the Bloated Dragon with Ezra, her siblings and the parents behind her. "I had to give up some bonding with Ezra not involving me crushing on him for this!" "It's all right milady, your friend is currently being tended to behind the bar." the barman stated tossing out an old ice pack in favor of a new one. "Would you be willing to assist?" "You'll be okay Gwen, just lie down and rest." Tarot soothed Gwen who lied down with the biker's jacket over her like a blanket. When she finally woke up, she moaned for a bit before seeing Tyrone & Arnold happy that she was awake. "Guys? What happened?" "You fell down after standing up to those two sumo guys while your hat was being all weird again!" Tyrone explained helping her up. "Yeah, it was really awesome how you stood up for me there, even if you didn't realize it." Arnold added. "Just goes to show how inseparable we are." "Yeah, we're an invincible trio!" Tyrone cheered victoriously pumping his fists in the air while Arnold smiled & laughed and Gwen just grinned. "AAAAND CUT!" a familiar voice exclaimed ruining the pleasant feel-good mood. Suddenly the spotlights over the stage shone on Haruko, now speaking into a rolled-up magazine like a movie director. "That was just perfect! Tres bien, bravah, truly Oscar-worthy!" "She with you?" the bartender asked. "Unfortunately yes." Ian replied. "Everyone take five! We'll start on the next scene in a bit!" the Vespa Woman directed tossing the magazine away to use the bathroom. Juan and Jorge immediately ran up and started pounding the door. "Hey, open up!" Juan shouted. "We know you're still in there! Come on bro, assume the Z-pose!" The brothers shaped their arms in the image of the letter Z at the door before Haruko exited. "Can't a girl go to the bathroom in peace?" she mused amusedly. "Let me guess, is this how far that stupid T-pose has come? I bet you're gonna rewind to A and go all the way to S." "Just tell us Raharu, or Haruko or whatever you call yourself!" Pacifica shouted while her face turned red in irritation. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" "Hm, tough number. But would a rap number suffice?" Haruko answered dropping a suggestion into the box to drop some beats. "Wait, what?" said a confused Tarot while the biker took the mic. "You got no dreams of your own, so you help your friends with theirs, yo." Haruko began rapping. "Uh, you say you're helping, who is it that gains, huh? Is it your girl or a personal companion?" "What does this song about the dreams of your friends have to do with this?" Soos inquired. "Let's get scratchin'!" a DJ shouted playing his turntable. "You got no life plans, say you got no dreams! So you help your friend with nosy schemes!" the woman on the Vespa continued. "Your ego's just playing, that's what I'm saying! You're like a toaster, useful as a poster! Can't find the one thing that matters the mosta!" "Would any of you like me to take your hands and read fortunes tonight while this is going on?" Tarot offered extending his fingerless gloved hand. "Sure, I got nothing better to do." Ian accepted. "Besides, this has been a day full of musical numbers that'll probably never be spoken of again." "It's a night to go dancing girl! Yeah that's right, I mean fighting girl!" Raharu declared continuing her inexplicable song. "That's the trend, I got no HQ and I got no friends. Beating up the robots like laying ten. Alone in this battle and I see no end!" The music began to reach its climax. "Communication is nothing girl! And transmission is nothing girl! I'm afraid of the big man girl. COME ON, FREESTY-" Suddenly she was interrupted by Jinyu and the Pines crashing through the club's roof on her Bel-Air, now turned into a giant robot. "I finally found you!" the maid declared glaring at Haruko. "Yeah, the jig is up Raharu! Now let the kids go!" Stan added fiercely. "Wait, is that you Tubby? How's Jackson doing?" "Father is still serving in prison." Tubby answered preparing to leave. "Well tell him I said hi and that he can burn in Hell when it's time to visit!" the old man called to the sumo as his gang departed. "And as for you!" "Daddy!" Tyrone shouted rushing to his father with Gwen behind him. "Kids, I'm so glad she hasn't hurt you yet!" Dipper weeped with joy hugging his children. "It's okay Dad," Gwen said. "she just sang a rap song that barely had anything to do with our situation." "Mommy!" Arnold bawled rushing into Mabel's arms. "I nearly got killed by gangsters and Gwen became really unwell!" he cried to his mother. "It's alright little guy, I'm here." Mabel soothed her nervous son. "I'm here." "Pardon me for being rude, but what the hell is going on here?" the bartender asked. "Like, was this lady with the guitar here the entire time and why did this weaponized Chevrolet crash through my roof?!" "Looks like you're in need of some required reading." the orange-haired guitarist stated dropping a copy of the entire previous Fooly Falls and the previous chapter of this sequel before the barman. "How charming, a little biography." he remarked beginning to read. "His eyebrows taste like what now?!" "Now simmer down everyone. I'm sure there's a way we can resolve this without anyone getting harmed." Tarot stated getting between the two women. "That reminds me." He took Arnold's hand and began reading him. "Your name is Arnold Walter Pines; age 10, birthdate May 25, 2022. Your birthstone is emerald and star sign Gemini. Your anxiety, nervousness and worrying for others are often the first traits that come to mind when talked about. However, you are very quick-witted, compassionate and willing to help others when there's no other options." "It worked like a charm on all of us too." Juan stated. "Hey Ian, do you think me, Jorge and Leia act the way we do is because we're afraid to grow up?" "Now that you think about it, I think Imelda and I may be acting too old for our age." Ian answered. "But Abby's pretty okay compared to us, since she's only four." "Shut up and let's cut to the chase," Haruko interrupted everyone's conversations. "who are you?" "You can't pretend you don't know me, Haruha Raharu." Jinyu growled. "Rue the day I met you." the Vespa rider rolled her eyes. "You can rue all you want, but you can't escape me!" the maid continued, which prompted her rival to start looking like she was done with everything and muttered "Meter-maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus." "Cause I know all this is an act!" Julia stated. "You need me, you're not a lone wolf!" "Loners are-" Haruko began but then stopped herself. "Oh wait, I lost the game." "This is no time for arguing you two! Just make peace with one another and, I don't know, chill on the beach in Tahiti? I hear it's a magical place!" Mabel suggested attempting to find harmony between the two women. "I see how it is." Jinyu said. "Then we'll just have to use force!" The arm of Jinyu's transforming car grabbed Gwen and held her hostage in front of her counterpart. "Huh, that's how you wanna do things?" Haruko sneered. "This is a matter between you and me!" Jinyu answered. "So don't lay a hand on her or her family!" "But it's fine for you to use a big robotic hand?" Haruko responded with a grin before Dipper stopped everything. "No, us Pines have known her for far longer Jinyu! Let me handle her and keep my daughter safe!" he commanded waving his hand around before summoning the very same Rickenbacker that he and Mabel were left with. "Remember this old thing?" "You still have it? Aw, you're such a sweetie-pie Takk-" Haruko cooed and was promptly greeted with a guitar to the head. "Oh I see!" she cried whipping out the Gibson EB-0 she left Gravity Falls with and the 1967 Model Mustang she pulled out of Dipper earlier. "Show me how far you've come big boy!" "All right, place your bets everyone!" the bartender announced setting up a betting ring while Dipper and Haruko took to the skies. "Who shall be tonight's victor: our mystery rapper, her apparent old friend with a Rickenbacker or the maid and her Cybertronian buddy?!" "Go get 'er Dipper!" Stan cried slapping a large wad of cash on the table as the patrons began cheering and the Pines watched with worry.

"Hafta say Pine Tree, you haven't changed a bit!" Haruko shouted wielding the twin guitars in combat against Dipper. The two of them hovered over Little Asia in their clash and their instruments collided. "Whatever happened to that double-necked one you left me with?" Dipper asked. "Spoilers squirt!" his fellow guitar wielder cried before she was met with a guitar head to the face and sent flying. "YAAAAAA-HOO-HOO-HOOOOOOEY!" "Quick, after them!" Ian commanded as Jinyu's Bel-Air followed the two throughout Little Asia. "Damn it all, where did they go?!" Ezra added in irritation before spotting Haruko flying backwards from being smacked in the face. Suddenly, they stopped in front of the food truck which was now run by a rather unlucky passerby. "I suppose you're another victim of hers?" "She forced me to run this place without my consent after bashing my head in with her bass!" the young man running the truck whimpered sticking a squirt gun on the counter. "Then this weird little water gun popped out before she said I wasn't good enough! And what's worse, this truck has nothing to sell!" he explained. "At least it's still better than being forced by my abusive father into piloting a giant robot powered by my mother's soul and getting horny around three hot chicks who don't care for my well-" "Yeah we don't care! Bye!" Stan shut the man up and cuing the car to keep driving. "Aw man. At least you still care about me, right random old man?" the reluctant food trucker asked the old man in the eyepatch. "Uh hey, earth to uh, can I call you Eyepatch?" "She's got tons of boundless energy like a shooting star!" Eyepatch commented in amazement. "Speaking of which, has that contact been found yet?" he asked the other man in the cap. "Yeah, he should be arriving soon." After KO'ing Haruko, Dipper took a moment to collect himself on a nearby rooftop. He panted harshly after such an equally harsh face-off and then smiled, knowing that hopefully his family would finally be safe from her. Until he saw a familiar twinkle of light in the distance followed by a certain girl surfing on one of her Mustangs in a bunny suit. "Oh goddamnit." "DAICON THIRTY-THREE!" Haruko screamed aiming her other guitar like a rocket launcher that she fired at her ex-Takkun. Fortunately for Dipper, it didn't hit him in the face. But rather, in his groin as he let out a high-pitched shriek and was sent blasting off the building. "S-she hit me in the dick." he squeaked in pain after landing on the ground while Jinyu's convertible rolled up beside him. "Why?! Why did she hit me in the dick?" "Oh quit your squealing kid and get back up there." Stan ordered as his great-nephew got up while clutching his unmentionables. "No, let him rest Mr. Pines." Jinyu stated taking up arms. "It's my turn." "Well, have it your way." Haruko snarked hovering above them before she spawned a leash to capture Arnold with and spun him around like a lasso. "LASER BEAM!" she cried tossing him at the back of the car, making it tip over and giving her a chance to hit it with her guitar. "You can't escape me!" The car fell to the ground causing Arnold to fly upward, screaming all the way. "Arnie!" Gwen called for her cousin. The two women went at it glowing red and blue respectively while clashing instruments. "Take this!" Haruko shouted coated with red energy while she fought Jinyu's blue aura. "Get her Jinyu!" Ford cheered the maid on. "You've become close to her just like Raharu and I were, haven't you?" Stan inquired. "Talk about history repeating itself, though thankfully she won't betray us for that Atomsk guy." "Okay, maybe I have Stan. But there's still more I want to know about her and Raharu!" Stanford answered. "Perhaps at some point I should hook them up to Project Mentem. Dipper and Ian have been helping me fix it up and make it a more basic memory reader." "You're going to make the same mistake again?! There's no light at the end of this tunnel, just give it up already!" Jinyu cautioned while the duo's guitar necks collided. "No way Jose!" Haruko responded pulling Arnold up by his leash and preparing to beat him. "The bases are all loaded! AND IT'S A LINE DRIVE!" A bulge emerged from Arnold's forehead, causing the robot that had menaced him last chapter to emerge while its meal it was having with Eyepatch was interrupted. "AAAAND PLAY BALL!" the Vespa Woman screamed sending the machine flying towards her rival. "Agh, but haven't you already been playing ball!?" Jinyu groaned in frustration blocking the robot jabbing its legs at her. "Come on! You know you're not going to reach him like this, don't you?!" Haruko just snickered before forcing the automaton to deal a nasty blow that sent Julia crashing into an abandoned part of Little Asia. Meanwhile her car sputtered to life and tossed Gwen into the driver's seat before preparing to take off. "Hey, wait for me!" Tyrone shouted dragging himself into the conflict by jumping the vehicle as it turned into a battleship complete with cannons everywhere. As soon as Haruko and the robot were in its line of sight, the Bel-Air began opening fire while doing a barrel roll, much to Gwen's fright and Tyrone's excitement. "THIS IS TOTALLY WICKED!" Tyrone screamed elatedly while the vehicle continued firing and chased Haruko throughout Gravity Falls's personal Chinatown. "What are you all doing?!" Ezra stamped his foot in fury at the damage being caused to the tourist attraction his mother helped work so hard on before Leia put a comforting hand on his back, causing him to blush. "Don't touch me like that you lovesick fool!" "You can't do this alone, you know you can't reach him without me!" Jinyu cried after hopping on the hood of her flying car. "No need to peepee in your panties!" Haruko jeered in response. "The reason you know this is because you and I are one!" Julia added, which lead to Haruko commanding the machine to form a drill that dashed toward the transforming car, and the latter machine gave it a hard punch. In the struggle however, the car was badly damaged as well and exploded into light. "KIDS!" Dipper and Wendy cried for their young. But just then, the light coming from the Bel-Air formed various floating needles that circled Haruko & Arnold. "One, ten, hundred, a thousand!" the Vespa Woman cackled arrogantly hitting the needles. "They call me the infamous Flaming Slugger!" As Arnold was unfortunately caught in the crossfire and electrocuted by the needles' laser beams, Jinyu backflipped to the kids still in her car. "Gwen, your family and I warned you and your friends not to get involved with that woman. She will only use you for her own benefit." she explained. "Worst case scenario, you could die." "Could die?" Gwen gasped turning to her brother. "Yeah, that could potentially happen." Tyrone commented while the twins watched Haruko. "And I don't think we'll go out being awesome like in all those Japanese shows or come back to life within a few days like in the comics." "Hey batter batter batter!" she chanted while Arnold continued crying out in pain from electric shock. "We gotta do something to save Arnie Gwen! I don't think being tossed around on a leash while being electrocuted is a manly way to die!" Tyrone began panicking but his older sister gave no reply. She continued to stare at the orange-haired woman continuing to torment Arnold while seeing images from her nightmare of the day and felt what seemed like an aneurysm. "Gwen?!" Jinyu & Tyrone said in unison as the girl's cap began glowing. She then finally screamed as the horn she kept hidden under a bandage on her forehead jutted out from the roof of the car. It could be seen from everywhere in Little Asia, even from a rental tuktuk that refused to work with Dipper & Mabel and their grunkles while they tried to race for the kids. "Come on you damned rental car, let us save our family!" Dipper groaned in anger before the sirens of Medical Mechanica sounded. "Uh, kids? Do you hear that?" Stan butted in. "Oh good grief, it's happening again!" Mabel exclaimed sticking her head out the window of the auto-rickshaw to see what was now happening. "No Gwen!" Jinyu cried as the horn of Dipper's daughter began pulling her through the roof and glowed a bright purple. Scrap metal from across the entire Roadkill County started floating off the ground and towards the girl. "No way, she overcame the enzyme inhibitor?!" the maid gasped. "Anemonemome-what now?" Tyrone asked clinging onto Jinyu's back. "Inhibition?" Haruko added just as confused while the metal poured into Gwen's horn and made an explosion that spread far above Little Asia. When the dust settled, there was a giant crater where Gwen once was and out of it came a tiny robot that looked just like her. "Huh? What-what-what is that, nyah?" Haruko meowed descending to the ground to examine the robot Gwen. While the woman watched it, the other Pines finally arrived in the tuktuk at the crater. "Gwen?!" Dipper panicked bursting from the rental vehicle to find Haruhara in front of a gynoid resembling her daughter. "What did you do to her Raharu?!" "Me? I didn't do nuttin'!" Raharu defended herself before the little machine touched her chest. "No touchy." Another explosion came, this one sending Haruko flying and everyone in complete awe. The robot stumbled over and flew to the woman with a singular muscular arm to punch her with. It then punched itself in the face, causing it to form into a blob that then formed Gwen with blood squirting out her head. "Gwen!?" Dipper and Jinyu exclaimed in concern for the girl while Haruko finally woke up. "What just happened?" she muttered falling headfirst to the ground. "Don't worry Arnold, I got ya!" Stan shouted trying to break his great-grandnephew's fall, but instead found his ex-partner in crime crashing onto his lap while Ford caught the boy. "AUGH, MY PELVIS!" "Gwen, Gwen?!" the maid muttered trying to wake the girl up. "Tyrone, Mom & Dad, Aunt Mabel, Arnold..." Gwen mumbled gazing at her family as they tried to help her cousin recover. Jinyu whistled, motioning for the needles to fuse into her car that she and Ford tossed the kids into before it turned into a makeshift hospital bed. "Don't worry, you'll recover in a few hours. You did a good job but-" "Hold it right there!" Haruko interrupted her other half with Stanley's tennis ball tipped walking stick in hand. "Now matter how you slice and dice it, those three are mine." Gwen began to wake up and found Arnold next to her while the rest of their friend circle racing to their side. "Holy rigatoni you guys, did you see what Gwen just did there?!" Jorge shouted excitedly. "I mean first all this metal came from across the county and it looked like she was gonna turn into a big Sentai robot, but then she turned into a little bot that looked just like her!" As Jorge continued babbling, Gwen weakly stared at the upside down Arnold. "You look terrible." he said laughing weakly. "You look terrible too." Gwen replied beginning to laugh as well. "We all look terrible!" Tyrone shouted getting between the two. "Well, I'm pretty okay but let's fix that." He tried to make himself look just as banged up as his relatives by rubbing some dirt on his face. "Much better." The three kids laughed in the Bel-Air while the others looked on. "Makes me long for the days when I was an innocent youth just like all of you." Ezra lamented longing for the good old days. "Well, time for me to find Mom and tell her what happened." he stated preparing to walk away before he turned to find Leia blowing him a kiss. "Neo salanghaneun babo." "Those three are really close, aren't they?" Haruko remarked gazing upon this touching scene alongside Dipper. "Thick as thieves ever since they were small." Dipper responded, which prompted him to ask her a question. "Speaking of which, why did you ever come back to us in your search for him?" he asked. "There are tons of other impressionable youths in the world for you to harass! In fact, don't you have a family of your own; what about your home planet?" The Pines father's inquiry managed to make Haruko surprisingly nervous for once as she turned away with a scowl and tears in her eyes. "Was there anyone you cared for that felt the same to you, ever?!" "Rick." Haruhara muttered under her breath clenching her fist. "What was that?" Dipper asked one more time which prompted Haruko to smack him in the face with the Mustang she pulled out of him. "That's none of your business you baka!" she screamed harshly mounting her Vespa. "You can keep that Mustang, now leave me alone!" She sped off in a huff while Mabel, Stan, Ford, Jinyu and the kids appeared behind him. "What's her problem?" Tyrone asked. "I don't know. I just asked if there was someone who ever loved her back and she just smashed my face." Dipper answered. "I don't think anyone ever has." "I can see why." Stan scoffed making Jinyu smack him on the head. "Can you be more sensitive Mr. Pines?" she scolded him. "What did Raharu say Dipper?" "I could barely hear her, but I think she mentioned someone named Rick." Dipper stated, which made Ford freeze up before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh for the love of God." the old scientist muttered frustrated. "Something the matter Ford?" Mabel asked her great uncle. "It's nothing everyone. I'll see you back at the Shack." Ford answered racing away from the others, the only thing he could hear from them was Tyrone explaining how he, Juan & Jorge were going to teach Arnold how to be a man. When he got far away from his family, Ford silently pulled a picture of himself with another elderly scientist with oddly grey skin, light blue hair with a matching colored unibrow and some strange fluid staining his lower lip out of his pocket. "Of course it would be you Sanchez." he sighed. "Maybe you're the reason why Raharu clicked so much with Stan in the past." "Something the matter sir?" the voice of a man in a suit with glasses and a stubble asked. "When did you get here?!" Ford stammered in shock. "About an hour ago." the man answered extending his hand. "Tsukata Kanda of the Department of Interstellar Immigration." "Stanford Filbrick Pines." Ford introduced himself and the two shook hands. "So, you know about Raharu as well?"

At last, chapter 2 is done! I may have had those bad computer problems earlier this month, but thankfully my dad passed down his old laptop to me and now I'm back in business! But before we all part, I'd like to just list off what Tarot Turner read about the Ramirez kids. Ian: Age 17, birthdate April 5, 2015. Birthstone: diamond, star sign: Cancer. A natural born leader who has a habit of being overly expressive, especially in his hands. Despite sometimes being impulsive and impatient, he remain a gentle soul and compassionate older brother. Leia: Age 15, birthdate July 13, 2017. Birthstone: ruby, star sign, Aries. She presents herself as a fun-loving, competitive girl but deep down, she possesses some self doubt on what she wants to do with her life. Juan & Jorge: Age 11, birthdate November 10, 2021. Birthstone: topaz, star sign: Scorpio. To say they love sticking out amongst the crowd would be saying something! They are fascinated by ridiculous outfits as they are by manliness, yet they believe they can never be true men themselves. Imelda: Age 7, birthdate January 7, 2025. Birthstone: garnet, star sign: Capricorn. Fussy and focused to a fault, Imelda sets up this image of a mature little girl but still internally wishes to act like a normal child. Abby: Age 4, birthdate September 29, 2028. Birthstone: sapphire, star sign: Libra. Contrary to her family, Abby has yet to shown any inner turmoil and remains a cheerful girl who looks up to her older siblings. She shows a particular attachment to Imelda because of how much she watches over her. And that should be it! See you all next chapter! Oh, this was a long one.