#but listen to me they’re sooo lame.

[direct0rhutao]

you’re right about knights

thank you for the validation len. listen what i’m about to say is based off the 4 or 5 knights songs ive heard but like. their dancing is so silly and they have the dorkiest cheesiest sounding lyrics and also their Thing is that they’re ✨chivalrous knights bringing songs to your (the delusional fans’) heart✨ or smth but also they think kidnapping is a valid solution to problems and like half of them are obsessed with somebody else

[nymphomatique]

Omggg hear me out maybe?

Imagine reader forces nerdy Miguel to get all high and drunk at a party? Idrk

The poor baby will be so lost and he'd just be babbling nonsense about what he Wants From us.

He'll say the absolutely dirtiest things that he shouldnt really be saying in public, and reader tries to shush him because duh We wouldn't want him damaging our reputation.

he's all grabby and everything just begging and crying for the reader to listen to him. He will not shut up, he'll definitely be feeling extra sensitive

i need a crossfaded miguel in my life actually.

i don’t think reader would ever force him to do drugs bc even though she’s mean they have like a mutual boundary situation going on yk? but i do imagine reader finally bringing miguel to a party and he’s probably sooo nervous:(

like he just stands next to reader holding her purse and twiddling his thumbs while she socializes with everyone and obv reader notices yk? so later in the night they’re by the alc table and reader might ask if he wants some to “let loose” and i think he’d take a shot or a seltzer or two 🤭 and he’s like tipsy at this point but not rlly shitfaced but he feel so warm.

like he won’t stop clinging to you, hugging you from behind, trying to grind up into your ass all stealthy bc he’s so warm and flustered from the alc and u just find it so endearing 😔

and even later one of your friends has a joint so a few of u have a lil sesh going on yk and it’s miguel’s turn abd u just look at him, asking with your eyes if he wants any and he grabs ig from you, determined to NOT look lame in front of you and your friends (saying no to drugs isn’t lame tho 🫶🏾) and he’s so cute when he takes a hit bc he starts coughing IMMEDIATELY lmao

u have to sit him down and get him some water but when u come back man’s is literally out of it 😭 like his eyes are bloodshot red and he’s giggling, calling you pretty, reaching out his hands to your hips and feeling you up in front of everyone like omgg and you’re a little embarrassed bc u feel urself blush but it’s kinda endearing and lowkey hot how possessive miguel gets when he’s intoxicated.

and he sees some guy staring at you and this man is literally slurring his words talking about some “are you lookin at my girl..? b’cause me and she.. we! are together! like thissssss,” miguel says and is crossing his fingers 😭 and u honestly just have to laugh and just take him home after that. poor baby just smitten over you all night.

he obviously passes out in the front seat once he’s in the car, but i’d like to think the last thing he says before he does is “you make me happy.” 🥹

[professional-idiots]

AFTERSCHOOL HANAKO KUN CH 27—THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

1. I love this panel sm 😭 they’re all so cute and it just makes me wish and wish and wish that they could all be normal together

LOOK AT KOU AND HIS FRIENDS IM GONNA CRY!!!

2. AGSKANSK THEYRE SO CUTE AND TEENY

Also Kou’s cardigan looks like Mitsuba’s cardigan and now I need official art of him in it

3. Uh… no comment

4. This is just a Mitsuba appreciation post now

*please note that both of Mitsuba’s hands are visible here…

5. I love so much about this—Yokoo being terrified is actually so real and also LOOK AT KOU LISTENING SO INTENTLY TO HIS BF

6. Okay ngl… I was a little spooked at Mitsubas story… well up till the end

7. Now this is an Aoi appreciation post

8. I WAS SPOOKED WHEN THE SECOND YASHIRO SHOWED UP!!!! SHE STARTS BANGING ON THE DOOR LIKE HELLO?????? ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

9. Everything about her starting to question her surroundings!!!! Like oh my god????? I had chills!! (Kou looks so cute with his little head tilt)

Edit: how tf did I not realize Kou didn’t have his lame ass earrings on here??!?! Like the head told literally like annunciates it

10. He’s so—

I actually love them so much 😭

11. AGSKANS THEYRE SO CUTE!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIM BLUSHINGGGGG

“The world I love” I know who you’re really talking about Yashiro Nene….

11. My good sir is THINKING about that shit

Okay I actually have a lot of theories for this chapter and it’s not even part of the main story.

So while I was reading it I went through a few different ideas. First I started drawing comparisons to the pilot chapters (Yashiro is in a long sleeved uniform and at first I saw Kou’s cardigan and thought that it was the same from the pilot BUT upon further research the jacket Mitsuba has on is closer to Kou’s original jacket. Which to me could still point to the pilot bc it could just be the old uniform for them but idrk) (and speaking of Mitsuba—like I said before his sweater isn’t over either of his hands…) but Teru being there kind of put a pin in this theory. Also I don’t know if the Mitsuba thing points any fingers to the pilot chapters but it’s just something I noticed and I think it must mean *something*. I also noticed that Aoi’s hair was back to being up which was really weird…

So then I started thinking about what exactly this could mean otherwise. Now, I’ve seen a lot of people calling this a nightmare, but was it?

The next place my mind jumped to was that Hanako wasn’t with them from the beginning and is not mentioned at all till he shows up at the end. Curious.

Sooo what could this meannnnn? Well I don’t think it was a nightmare at all. I think that this is a parallel universe (it’s still weird that in this universe Amane isn’t friends with Yashiro and Kou/is dead but Mitsuba isn’t, but who knows….) and our Yashiro is summoned into this parallel world by the stories her friends are telling. And so she is the doppelgänger as Teru and Natsuhiko say.

I think this is really plausible because Mitsuba’s story is very strange in that it doesn’t end normally and he says that he heard it from a friend of a friend then reiterates that same thing. In a way it almost seems like this really *was* just some real story he’d heard and maybe he’d mistaken it for fiction but it was actually true. And! These other versions of her friends that she’s with don’t recognize her versions of them (as we see with Kou), but really we can see this from the very opening because our Teru would NEVER participate in this normally. Especially not with such enthusiasm. And Hanako showing up and knowing what to do like that is very indicative of him hopping into this universe with her to protect her (like the consequences of the doppelgänger are real) (and obviously this is within Hanako’s power). Then when we cut back to the real world/the original universe Yashiro doesn’t tell us that she’d been sleeping, just that suddenly she found herself in the classroom. AND when she’s talking to Hanako later he doesn’t say he *didn’t* help her, he says “who knows” and I feel like that’s a classic Hanako deflection line!!! Meaning that he DID help her!!!!!!

Anywayyyyy I really liked this chapter. Like I feel like the afterschool chapters don’t normally feel so lore-heavy…. Part of me wants this to come back somehow. Like maybe later in the main series they travel between parallel universes for whatever reason (maybe that’s what it is when Yashiro sees past Amane—though I hope not because I really want that to have actually happened in Amane’s life in our timeline)

EDIT: OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD KOU DOESNT HAVE HIS EARRING IN!!!! HE DOESNT WEAR IT HERE!!!!!!!! THIS IS CRAZY ACTUALLY JESUS 😭 (I wonder if this can somehow be linked to Mitsuba being alive… cause traffic safety and whatnot… hmmmmm) (like he still has an earring but it’s not the traffic safety one arghhhhhhgg!!!!)

EDIT EDIT: I WENT BACK TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHY I DIDNT NOTICE AT FIRST AND ITS ALMOST LIKE ITS BEING HIDDEN TILL THE HEAD TILT PAGE!!!! THERES ALWAYS LIKE A SPEECH BUBBLE IN THE WAY OR LIKE YOKOOS HEAD OR SMTH!!! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHM—

Edit edit edit: I’m Stan and I was wrong. I’m singing the Stan wrong song. I shouldn’t have taken that chance. Now here’s my remorseful dance. (Translation: even though it can’t be seen in most panels and that does feel kind of purposeful to me still, there are like two or three panels where his right ear is in clear view)

[ravenscosmos]

🪐,🌊, &🍎!

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH 🩷🩷🩷 AND SORRY IF IT ALL SOUNDS SO STIFF IDK BUT OFTEN WHEN I POST STUFF I GET SO STIFF IN MY WRITING STYLE AND AAHHH

🪐: who’s your comfort person in your dr ? Name three specific reasons why

Xavier ! He’s my (soon to be) s/o and i love him so so much .. he’s always there for me , gave up so much for me .. he is the kindest and goofiest (in a good and loving way🤍) person <3 .. he’s my moon and alone his smile brightens up my life .. he’s so loyal and aaahhhh sjdjfjjfjf yes😭

🌊 : pretend your dr has one of those filler-beach-day episodes. What’s everyone doing ?

⭐️(Xavier) : he would definitely take a sunbath and fall asleep , forgetting to use suncream 😭 ++ gets buried in sand

❄️(Zayne) : Reading a Book, trying not to get dragged into bullshit and stays away from water gun fights 😔

🐟(Rafayel) : would definitely build sand castles or sand sculptures !! And after he’s done and bored , he would try to pick up a watergun fight , making Xavier and others kinda exhausted to play pranks on them ++ buries Xavier in sand

me : swimming and participate in the watergun battle ++ helping Rafayel to tease Xavier

🍎 : what are three songs that remind you of your dr and why ?

They’re all love songs ahem

Light shower :

It reminds me very of the lore , and makes me sad yet happy to listen to this amazing piece of art .. I think light shower describes a lot of the feelings of me and him , our connection and how we may think/thought what we deserve ?

Hate to be lame :

I really tend to run away from my feelings , especially negative ones or romantic feelings.. I get nervous and try to hide and avoid at times how I feel about a person (until I know how they feel) .. and trying not to acknowledge my love for them , even tho I know that’s so useless to runaway from it😭😔..

( and the song really describes <the early stages> when I shift the relationship between me and Xavier ! )

blue :

Ahhh blue squeezes my heart .. it reminds me of one of my childhood friends , who I admire too much and it hurts that we can’t be honest about the past with each other .. he’s in much pain and I want to help him , but unfortunately can’t unless he lets me .. I really want to stay by his side even tho it’ll most likely not the way he’d want

[sins-and-wins-with-vix]

Everything Right/Wrong with “Rebooted” E1: The Surge

Sooo it’s been awhile but we’re back! Disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy!

Make sure to reblog, comment, and like! And tell me your thoughts!

- This season is titled “Rebooted,” get it? Cuz the show got rebooted for this season after it was supposed to end? And also the season itself deals with technology? And also if you’re anything like me this season makes you wanna reboot yourself so you can forget chunks of it ever happeneD- ❌

- Not my favorite intro or remix, but I still gotta admit it’s pretty cool, even if I do miss the family photo-like style of the OG ✅

- In the original intro it was just Cole, but now it seems that everyone except for Lloyd has lost their smiling privileges ❌ (the pic below shows everyone with their masks up but it’s taken from a later ep)

- The longer you look at this image, the more awkward the poses get… Seriously, look at all of them for a good while and try to explain what they’re doing ❌

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… this show knows music! 2 seconds into the actual episode and this score is already giving me goosebumps ✅

- ^ There’s a lot to say about this photo so I’m just gonna break it down here:

- Jay rocking the pose ✅

- Zane tried ✅

- Kai leaning on Jay… and maybe struggling to balance while doing so? ✅

- Cole is giving Dareth a piggy-back ride and I think we all wish we were Dareth right now ✅

- And Lloyd is very confused as to where the camera is apparently ✅

- “Ninjago City soon became… New Ninjago City.” Creative. ❌

- Also it’s never actually referred to as “New Ninjago City” much after this season, or even in it tbh ❌

- “And it became the center for great technological advancements.” Most of which will exit and re-enter the plot at any given time that’s most convenient for the writers because who needs continuity? ❌

- At first I was gonna ask who tf sings in the shower like this (Kai was just making random, loud noises - no actual words, and it didn’t seem like humming) but while typing I realized that this actually seems more akin to vocal stimming so… neurodivergent Kai canon? ✅

- “Brad got an ultra remote from New Ninjago City and it’s controlling Mr. Zane!” HOW? ❌

- “Mr. Cole is the worst!” Child echoes most of the fandom this early in the show’s run ❌

- Kai’s pudding cup was sitting in his bag with no lid or covering whatsoever ❌

- Wait, the ninja don’t have powers anymore because they don’t have the blades, so how did Zane freeze Jay’s pudding cup? I get that he’s a nindroid, but he doesn’t use ice powers for anything else until later this season when they officially get their powers back ❌

- “Why is it that whenever I teach, I get the feeling that none of the boys are listening?” Oh, I know the answer to this one!⬇️

- “I saved you some pudding.” “What did we talk about?” “Oh, right, boundaries.” You probably have some questions right now, like, “did Jay and Nya break up?” And “Why did they break up?” And most importantly, “are we ever gonna get answers to these questions?” And the answer to that is: No. live and die in wonder ❌

- They get clearance for a field trip that they have to take the day of? You could argue that Borg was in a rush to get the techno blades to the ninja and wanted to take this opportunity while he still could, and Wu really wanted to do this field trip so Nya jumped at it as well, and to that I say… that’s actually a pretty good argument. Well done.

- “If you ask me, people should concern themselves with the lessons of the past - not waste their time on disposable fads of tomorrow…” Of all characters, why would Kai have this sentiment? Especially since they already established Cole as the “lame” one. I guess I wouldn’t say it’s entirely ooc, but it still makes it abundantly clear that they had no idea what they wanted to do with Kai this season ❌

- Wu instructs Nya to “get a move on,” which she does, and immediately drives down a steep mountain, while Wu stands, unsupported, in the front of the bus ❌

- But ya know what? Nya saw her chance to attempt murder and went with it, and I can respect that ✅

- “Wow… you leave town a short while and-“ everything becomes tinted in blue?

- This bit where everything tech-related doesn’t wanna work for Kai is even funnier when you consider that it’s technically all sentient and controlled by the Overlord ✅

- “Your hardware is outdated and your processor is slow and incompatible with ours.” Line is not followed by air horns ❌

- “Even now, he is working on a digiverse…” foreshadowing ✅

- “They have a perfect match console!” Why do I feel a part of my soul dying?

- “What’s perfect match?” Seriously, why do I have this gut feeling that something very very bad is about to happen… like I’m about to witness a moment that will forever go down as this show’s worst writing decision ever?

- “It finds your perfect partner with flawless results!” Wait…

- “Hello, Nya…” No…

- “You are an independent, self-confident young woman who refuses to be in a boy’s club…” please… please don’t do this

- ^ OH GOD F*CKING D*MMIT ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

- “I would’ve guessed ninja to sneak in the window… not take the elevator.” Apparently, Borg wanted the ninja to rob him ❌

- There’s no way Jay was this big a fan of Borg but didn’t know he had prosthetic legs ❌

- Most people have heard by now that the inclusion of Borg being disabled wasn’t really done for the sake of representing disabled people so much as it was for the convenience of the situation, but you’d think at least one of the writers would’ve said, “hey, maybe this statue we’re making of a character who can’t use their legs SHOULDN’T be STANDING normally on those two legs?” Could it really have been that hard to work the wheelchair into that statue design? Really? ❌

- “First you call us pedestrians and now we’re assailants?!” Jay finds these both equally insulting, which is not only hilarious, but also in-character since Crystalized showed us the only thing that offends the ninja more than being considered evil is being considered average ✅

- “Let the elevator have the techno-blades Kai! I think its made its point!” Jay has the backbone of a noodle, which we knew but still

- “Looks like we just quit our day jobs!” Don’t think I didn’t just see Cole’s mouth move with Kai’s voice ❌

- “Why don’t boys ever listen to me???” D*mmit, Nya do I need to bring the misogyny gif back out?

- “It’s not sharp. Why even call it a blade!?” Good question ❌

- Also, did you really need to test it out to see it wasn’t sharp? Couldn’t you have just, ya know, looked? ❌

- *glass cracks* “Oh snap.” ✅

- Why would breaking the window cause them all to immediately fly out of it? Before someone who actually understands physics comes into my comment section and explains how this works, I’m gonna cut you off and say I refuse to believe there’s an explanation that wouldn’t violate at least one health and safety protocol. OSHA: my scapegoat so I don’t have to learn how science works! ❌

- “You tried to give them the only thing that could defeat me and thought I wouldn’t notice?!” You DIDN’T notice - not until the ninja broke the statue - and tbh, you really should’ve. I get Overlord had to be cautious so as not to reveal himself too early on, but he literally watched Borg invite the ninja to his office, tell them it’s better if Lloyd wasn’t there, then send them off with a massive statue as a parting gift. Hell, Overlord has constant eyes on Borg, right? Did he not see him making new suits and shoving them, along with the blades, into the statue? ❌

- “A PROMISE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!” Admittedly, I have problems with Overlord this season, but I will NEVER insult his voice acting ✅

- I really can’t tell if Borg is screaming or laughing in this scene, which is probably the only reason it made it past the censors ❌

- “Cole, throw me!” “Excuse me?!?” “Throw me!” ✅

- I know it’s just the first episode, but I’m curious as to what they’re gonna do for new toys sets this wave- “The techno blade must’ve hacked the hover-copter’s system! Zane controls it!” Oh, there they are

- “*lying* I always said Mr. Cole was my favorite!” Accurate representation of middle schoolers… I’m counting that as a sin ❌

- “Anyone else feeling all tingly inside?” No!… maybe… ✅

- “I have given you new outfits to help block the facial recognition software.” They never actually do this. ❌

- “Robots vs. ninja? Dare I ask?” Someone mentioned awhile ago that Lloyd enters like a guest star on a sitcom and honestly they’re right ✅

- Also family hug! ✅

- “With a 4.2% chance of success, I’d say hope is slim.” “That’s why it’s called hope, Zane!” I actually have a lot to say about Zane’s arc this season, but for now I’m just gonna win this as foreshadowing and move on ✅

- “We will, but only when you’re safe!” “He wants these weapons, and for some reason, he also wants you. Remember, this was sensei’s plan. They can’t break him!” “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has yet to come. We need to worry about today!” “You said it, Zane!” “We will come back to New Ninjago City, and when we do, we’ll be ready!” I get Jay isn’t really depicted as the wise one, but was it really fair of the writers to take four inspirational, end-of-episode lines and only split them among 3 of 4 characters? Come on, give him a little credit! ❌

- ^ No. assembly line system. Could ever. F*cking. Function like this. ❌

Sentence: Ninjago Reboot��.. (1/4)

[chryzure-archive]

2,3,4,5,6,22,23,24 for the artists ask meme ?

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

pretty dark-haired boy drawings are always the ones where i’m pleased with the end result <3 also, that undead!azure drawing is a couple years old now and i’m still sooo happy with it <3 why is he so pretty when he’s undead ;;;

3. Least favourite things to draw?

MOUTHS. THEY’RE SO HARD FOR ME. WHY ARE THEY SO HARD FOR ME. IT’S JUST A LINE, BUT THEY ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

4. Favourite things to draw?

long curly hair… fluffy hair in general… ALSO POOFY SLEEVES AND BIG TOPS TUCKED INTO PANTS ARE SOOOO !!!!!!! i love poofy sleeves so much, they are my best friend, they are my lover, they are my everything…

5. Anything you haven't drawn yet but want to?

back when i was posting the october fic, i wanted to draw chrysi and azure in an open grave together, where azure has his arm around her as she nestles into his side with her eyes squeezed closed + azure’s looking right at the viewer. it was supposed to be a reference to azure’s death (posted right after the death reveal chapter), obviously, but october was already pretty full with writing stuff, so… i didn’t get around to it. i still love the idea though.

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

i’m so lame bc i don’t have a specific artist i look up to that directly inspires my work… i draw cute happy stuff bc it makes me happy?? i don’t have an artist that directly inspires me. OH, WAIT, JUN MOCHIZUKI AND AIDA IRO I GUESS.. THEY COUNT, RIGHT?

22. When is your prime time to work on your art?

when i’m sleepy :) and when i’m feeling down!!! so typically i draw in the evenings and in the mornings. i don’t like drawing in the middle of the day so much.

23. Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what's your favourite?

YES, i love doing both <333 i’ve been listening to a lot of random music lately, i typically go through my likes on spotify, and as for shows… most recent show i watched while drawing was interview with the vampire (slammed that show out in a single night, so. 0-0…) BUT typically i’ll listen to/watch the dead meat podcast AND i’ll watch horror movies. i’ve been thinking of watching the nos4a2 tv show, but i’m so nervous bc i loved that book so much… anxiety.

24. How do you deal with artblock?

i draw chibi little drawings of chrysi being held + they’re looking at each other like ( ◉ ◉ ) + they’re wearing big, comfy sweaters 🥰 it’s comfort art <333

[unknownjpegs]

five out of ten

“You got a thing for cars, don’t you, Xavier?”

“Oh boy, fucking do I.”

Because they’re shoved into one again, and it was his idea. Small, tight spaces with Benji—yeah, he’d put a stamp that says HEAVEN on it if he could. Red and bright and still wet from the ink. He’d put a thumb in it and smear. Feels like that’s what Benji is doing to his heart at the moment, the way his hands are digging into his lower back. Grinding them toward each other. He’s digging into that muscle and making a mess of Xavier.

And Xavier is making a mess of Benji’s neck—panting with exertion from how hard he’s been kissing, leaving his marks, leaving the evidence of him. Dragging his nose over his jawline and mouthing up to catch his lips again. He tastes Benji’s tongue as it slides over his own; and wonders if he’ll ever stop feeling his body flash hot and greedy at the sensation. If he’ll ever stop crushing himself forward to deepen that kiss.

When they part, he’s mesmerized staring at that shiny, wet mouth. He wants to cup Benji’s jaw, push his cheeks, make those lips part for him. Thinks about spitting into his mouth and shivers—a blush crawls over his skin, because that feels dirty even for him. Instead he flattens hands to the car window above Benji (is delighted that its foggy from them) and smiles.

“Dude, is that a Ruger 9mm I’m feeling or are you just happy to see me?”

Benji snorts.

“Prefer a Beretta.”

“Oh, man, don’t talk gun to me right now.”

They kiss again, because of course they do. Little slower than the frantic, hungry filled gesture from before. Xavier, slowly rolling his tongue, enjoying feel of his chest pressing down to Benji’s. They’d done themselves both a favor—stripped off tactical vests, shoved them into the front seat. Xavier had laughed, let’s not get them mixed up when we put them back on, and now they were kissing. Could feel the expanding of their ribs together as they did. His hand flattens on that broad soldier’s chest, runs down, over his side, down to his hip. He grips hard.

“M’gonna take care of it,” he mumbles to Benji’s mouth. Draws back to give himself room. Pins one knee to the side of Benji’s hip, the other down to the floor of the car. He’s awkwardly bent over, but not uncomfortable. Mostly, distracted as he watches the roll of Benji’s body in reaction to his hand trailing down.

“You droolin’ for it that bad, mate?” Benji jokes through a hoarse voice. It feels loud inside the tight space of the car. Xavier grins, crooked and toothy. Gives a big show of his tongue sliding over his front teeth.

“I’d love it in my mouth,” he drawls out, in that terrible Boston accent. Xavier hooks fingers into Benji’s belt, jerks at it. Toys with that buckle until it clicks open with a satisfying sound. He watches Benji’s torso, the peek of dark brown skin from the way the shirt has just barely hitched up from the way they’ve been grinding together. “You know how much I fucking love it in my mouth, Benji.”

He listens to that soft groan leave the medic and it’s music to his ears. Makes him grin, wild and uninhibited as he yanks the belt open more. Deft fingers find the button of the tactical pants, nearly tearing them free and the zipper is just as loud.

“But I wanna,” he jerks at the pants—watches Benji rise his hips to make it easier and momentarily loses his thought process as the shirt slips up higher. Xavier stares at that dark hair trailing up up his stomach. Wants to put his fucking nose there, wants to lavish his tongue over every inch, but huffs out a breath instead. “Yeah, I wanna jerk you off.”

“Givin’ me a hand,” Benji’s laugh is harsh. “Get it?”

“Lame,” Xavier replies as he snags a finger into briefs and jerks them down. “Sooo fucking lame,” he breathes out in a tight, heavy voice as Benji’s cock is revealed. Saliva pools in his mouth, his eyes going fuzzy as he stares at the little drip of precum. Thinks, yeah, I got you there, huh?

“That’s what every guy wants t’hear when someones lookin’ at their cock.”

“Oh, whoops. Meant to say hello, sexy medic dick, I am—”

“Xavier, I’ll get fuckin’ soft—”

“Nah, you won’t,” Xavier says in a confident, cheerful voice as he brings his hand up underneath his own chin. When he spits into his palm, he’s staring at Benji. Their eyes linger together—and he starts slipping into that space inside his skull that is so full of those brown eyes. Sometimes, he feels himself drifting, no matter where he is, into those eyes—distracts him until he’s laughing with a string of spit still on his lip.

He’s still staring into Benji’s eyes when that slick hand wraps around him, but they flick down almost immediately to watch the way his giant palm fits. Pale and large, a thumb swiping over the tip to smear that bead of white. He groans at the sight and laughs with his forehead against Benji’s. He drags his hand, starts a tugging rhythm that isn’t hurried. When Benji groans, low in his throat, hands coming to rest on Xavier’s hips he feels unwound and insane.

“Fucking pretty,” he says, a grin in his voice. “Real fucking pretty—you know that?”

“Hah,” Benji’s laugh is less that and more moan.

“And thick.” Xavier’s wrist flicks, his hand tightening. He can feel the warmth of Benji, can feel the throb in him. His fingers drag on that vein, adjust and languidly tug. He’s enjoying this, he realizes. Having the upper hand. Heh. Hand. “So fucking thick. Think it’ll fit?”

He raises his eyes to catch Benji’s until he realizes that the medic is staring just as hard at Xavier’s hand moving. Looks entranced. Looks like there’s a little shine in his eyes that makes Xavier’s unwound, unmoored, untethered insane wanting feeling fucking pound behind his eyes. Makes him grip harder, move faster, makes his breathing hitch as he continues. Because he likes that shine—like seeing Benji look so fucking into it.

“You’d have to fucking shove, Benji,” Xavier laughs, breathless, staring at his hand and Benji’s cock. Staring at the rippling wave of Benji’s muscular abdomen. “Get all of you in me—” His hips give a giant buck into Xavier’s tight fist, like he’s imagining that and it only makes Xavier even more focused. Eyes unable to peel away from his hand. He can tell Benji’s close. He can see it, in the way his body is starting to bounce up off the car seat. Hear it, in that panting that Benji’s doing.

“Talk to me,” Xavier mumbles, sweeping his lips close to Benji’s ear. Sacrifices looking at his hand, at the way he’s tugging Benji to relief. “Don’t be quiet—fucking tell me.” Because he loves listening to this man talk, loves hearing his accent, loves hearing it twist. Loves—loves—loves knowing he’s wanted.

“Bit of a top—hah—moment for you, yeah?” Benji moans out, a laugh in his voice that’s almost drowned out by—not a whine like Xavier does, but so beautifully close it makes his chest swell to hear it. “Tellin’ me what to do.” His teeth sink into Benji’s ear lobe and those words get higher pitched still. “Fuck—yeah, I’d shove, Xavier. You right on the fucking—bed. Ass up, like you know you want.”

“You know me,” Xavier breathes out, adjusting them again so he’s hunched more, the back of his head hitting the roof of the car. Makes him laugh, his hand never losing it’s rhythmic motion. You know me, he thinks again. His eyes stray to watch Benji watching himself, flick over his face. Jaw slack, brows pinched, eyes narrowing in pleasure. “Or, I’d ride you, just like this.” And for some reason, that statement is what makes Benji cum.

The thick white spills over Xavier’s fist, hits the dark brown skin of Benji’s abdomen in little loose ropes.

“Fuckin—fuck,” is what Benji grunts, hands gripping into the fabric of Xavier’s shirt. He can feel them shaking a little and those aftershocks make Benji’s hips tremble and jerk up and down as Xavier’s hand continues. Doesn’t lose his rhythm, just slows down. Still holds him as he softens. Thumb drawing a circle around his tip and making Benji’s head fall back and his chest heave as he grunts again. It’s a beautiful sound that makes Xavier’s chest ache.

They’re both breathing hard and the windows of the car are pure white now. Xavier’s free hand slips up to one, feels that condensation. He smiles down at Benji, as if he was the one who just had a release. His hand hasn’t left that softening cock, feeling warm and possessive. Benji’s, meanwhile, dance up Xavier’s chest, hook around his neck.

“Damn, I am so good at that,” Xavier says, with a toothy smile.

“Five out of ten.”

Xavier slides his cum slick fingers into his mouth, leaning down as his tongue slips between them. He’s wetly obscene about it with hooded, dark eyes.

“Amended fuckin’ ten out of ten then, you hound.”

[clydesdonovan]

heADCANONS CRYDE HEADCANONS PLEAs

goD okay I have been slowly adding to this for like 2 days whenever I had the chance and it made me so happy djsjdf I love talking cryde headcanons so much.

These are probably things I’ve said before but they’re some of my personal favorites sooo 🥺

Craig’s phone is full of candid pictures of Clyde that he’s taken over the years. Photographer Craig my beloved, he always snaps pictures of Clyde when he’s laughing, or using his hands to tell a dramatic story, or getting annoyed at a video game, or playing with Rex and Stripe. They’re all just random photos of Clyde being Clyde, but that’s exactly why Craig took them.

Clyde saves every single thing Craig has ever written for him — whether it’s a note passed in class, a birthday card, sheets for their numerous roleplays, homework he graciously let Clyde borrow. Craig has chicken-scratch handwriting and sometimes it’s hard to read, but Clyde cherishes every single thing anyway.

Craig is obsessed with Clyde’s cooking. Clyde is an amazing cook, he inherited a lot of really great recipes, and really great skills, from Betsy, and he loves to mess around with new ideas. He always ends up making tasty dishes or baking sweet desserts, and he always saves a plate for Craig (or else Craig will be very upset that he missed out on Clyde’s cooking).

Clyde is super clingy — literally. He just loves to cuddle, or hold hands, or lean against people, or put his head in someone’s lap. He’s a cuddly boy !!! Craig, obviously, is most often at the receiving end of Clyde’s need for closeness. (And he loves it very much, even if he sometimes pretends he doesn’t. Craig is Soft™️ for Clyde always.)

Clyde the clothes-thief my beloved. He is always stealing Craig’s stuff. You’ll find him wearing Craig’s old hoodie, or one of Craig’s favorite t-shirts, or Craig’s new jacket that he only wore like two times. He wears Craig’s stuff more than his own at this point, but like… they’re comfy and they’re Craig’s. Clyde is never giving them back.

Likewise, Craig isn’t really a thief like Clyde is, but he never turns down a chance to flaunt Clyde’s iconic letterman jacket. Not that being a jock means anything special (Clyde is still a big dork anyway), but it does make Clyde really happy, and the jacket is surprisingly comfortable so… win/win.

They argue about aliens. Like, a lot. They both believe they exist, but what kind of aliens they are is where the bickering starts. Are they gray or green? Little and cute or big and monstrous? Will they enslave the world or come in peace? Do they eat humans and abduct cows? Craig and Clyde will argue about aliens for hours if someone lets them. (Their friends are very tired.)

They kick ass at Mario Kart Double Dash. It’s a classic during their sleepover nights and they’ve pretty much scared away all of their friends from playing too by now — they win nearly every time. Clyde-Bowser and Craig-Luigi are just the best team literally ever.

They wore matching Halloween costumes until they were at least in college. It was always something silly: Shaggy and Scooby, Ash and Gary, Wario and Waluigi, etc. Every year, Craig swore they wouldn’t do it, but every year, Clyde’s puppy-dog eyes proved him wrong. (And besides, Craig is just as lame and cheesy too, even if he won’t admit it.)

They constantly make late-night runs across town to grab fast food. 90% of the time, it’s not even because they wanted food, but because they just wanted to be together, listening to Craig’s nighttime playlist or Clyde’s mess of Spotify favorites, and just exist for a few minutes.

Roger Donovan is the biggest cryde supporter of all time okay he loves them so much. He spent a lot of looonnng nights talking with Clyde about his developing feelings and how to deal with them, and all of the confusion that sometimes comes with it. So, in the end, he feels so happy he almost cries when Clyde mentions, casually over dinner, that Craig is his boyfriend now :’)

[workofheart]

eren jaeger relationship hcs

eren’s turn! modern relationship hcs. nsfw under the cut as per usual <3 levi ver.

really clingy. when ur away on a trip or something, he definitely cuddles your pillow and buries his head in it. might also spray your perfume on his hoodie so he can be reminded of you throughout the day (as if you aren’t already on his mind 24/7)

on that note, LOVES seeing you in his clothing. i feel like for most guys this is true and people mention it all the time, but eren especially. it makes him feel mushy and horny at the same time (more on that later) bc it just drapes over your shoulders perfectly. like he sees you and has to suck in a breath and look away to collect himself or else he’ll just become a puddle on the floor

likes hearing verbal affirmations. when you compliment him, tell him you’re proud of him, he gets all warm and fuzzy inside. it means so much coming from you and he knows you're genuine

really goofy, this is to be expected - tries to get you to laugh bc it raises his self esteem and confidence. he just likes looking at you being happy and smiling, it makes him feel so warm inside

definitely hides behind corners when he hears you walking or coming down the stairs so he can jump out and scare you. don’t worry though, because he always proceeds to hug you and kiss your forehead or temple to say he’s sorry but only kind of bc ur reaction was priceless. the little whack u give his arm in annoyance? he lovessss it bc it’s like he knows u still love him even when he is a little obnoxious

eren is definitely one of those enemies to lovers kind of guy bc he desperately wants someone to love him not necessarily in spite of his flaws, but with his flaws. he needs u to acknowledge that he’s far from a perfect person but still love him regardless

his favorite kind of dates are park dates. he likes going on warm & sunny days to throw a frisbee around with you in the open fields. i feel like he’s a basketball guy so he’ll bring you onto the court and play knockout... when he loses, will tell you he let you win on purpose for the sake of his ego 

lolll imagine him critiquing your free throw form or something and coming up behind you to fix it (it wasn’t actually that bad, he just wanted an excuse to be near you)

really needs physical touch. he’s the kind of guy who will always be in contact w you in some way or another. when driving, his hand will be on your thigh or holding yours on top of the center console, same for if you’re out at restaurants but under the table. he’d definitely try and play footsies with you if you’re sitting across from him rather than beside him. when sleeping, he holds you really tight and won’t let you roll over so you better just get comfortable. 

doesn’t mind being ur photographer and taking pics for you. he takes some time to learn the methods for the best pics but he eventually gets it

this is kind of random but when playing minecraft, he always blows up creepers and never fills in the creeper holes :| sorry. to make up for it he’ll get you music discs. also likes just going on little adventures to find a sand biome two thousand blocks away and just walking with you in game

on this topic actually i LOVE the idea of gamer bf eren. like not the league-and-monster-drinking kind but sumn about him in a headset and sitting at the edge of his bed... but he’ll definitely teach you how to play shooter games and will be so nice about it, won’t get mad at you, will give you little kisses when you’re not doing well and getting frustrated, and if you’re playing in online lobbies together he’ll stick by you the whole time and carry you

always sending you tiktoks & tries to get you to do all the trends with him. they never go viral but he goes back and watches them when he misses you

i peg him as a cat guy! really good with animals in general. i think most people would expect him to be a dog person since he can be loud and rowdy and excited, but on an emotional level i think he also just likes to be calm and relaxed and would get along with cats well. also teases you when animals reject you for him.

definitely writes about you in his journal. he jots down funny things you say or do or moments you shared so he never forgets any of them, and when he misses you he’ll read through them :( imagine when you’re so much older and he has documented proof of his love for you back when he was young please it makes me cry

also writes down little poetic words or things that remind him of you. he’ll hear a quote in a movie or a book or a song that instantly makes you pop into his head and he just has to write it down. he’s probably tried writing poems or songs about you, but he keeps those really secret because he’s embarrassed

this is kind of random but i think he’s a total beach person! likes going to spend days in the sun, builds sand castles and asks for your rating, drags you into the water to swim with him, will dive under and grab your ankles to freak you out, also looks really good in swim trunks but that's besides the point

he hates to see you upset and tries to cuddle the sadness out of you. when needs be, he’s a really good listener and doesn’t mind letting you just vent. when you cry, he pulls you in for a really tight hug and cradles your head - also because if he sees you crying, he’ll start to cry too because he genuinely feels for you 

tries his best to take care of you when you’re sick. not really a good cook or anything, but he’ll make you a grilled cheese or a pop tart, albeit a little crispy even though it’s his third attempt. doesn’t mind being near you and isn’t afraid of getting sick so he’ll cuddle you anyway

loses focus when you’re talking to him sometimes but it’s not because he’s not listening, it’s because he just gets caught up in staring at you and how you look when you talk bc he just adores you. when you snap him out of his, he always gets all red and blushy :(

nsfw under the cut (18+)

really likes sending & receiving nudes/lewds. he always goes for the torso selfie to show off his chest/abs when sending, and it doesn’t matter to him what you send back because he’ll like anything you have to offer

and his responses aren’t lame either. NOT the type to send you a thumbs up or a “ayo you sexy as hell fr doe” - he will hype you up with dirty talk because he seriously means it. honestly might just send you a voice message, or call you if you’re alone and available bc while he might look at pics of you from time to time for aesthetics, the majority of the time he’s jacking off

so you know how i said he likes seeing you in his clothing? he especially likes nudes of you in his clothes. send him a pic wearing his zip up hoodie & nothing else and he’s yours 

he prefers being in control/being on top but doesn’t mind if you want to take the reigns every once in a while

throws his head back and groans when u give him head. that's the image.

one of his favorite positions is when you’re in doggy but he pulls you up by the arms so your back is against his chest. he’ll snake a hand around to rub tight little circles on your clit, might put his hand around your throat if you like it. heavenly.

reallyyyy dirty mouth omg. asks sooo many teasing questions, likes hearing you say his name. “you like that, princess?” “louder for me” “who’s making you feel this good?” ugh and it’s not awkward either he makes it sound so good

has a lot of energy and a lot of stamina. stroke game will make you pass out, he’s so smooth and sets such a rhythm with his hips

things that get him going: kissing under his jaw, especially up by his ear. sucking his fingers. tugging on his hair. running your nails down his back.

pins your thighs to the bed when he eats you out. likes to make you squirm and loooves to edge you. super teasing in every way

can we just talk about his voice for a sec... he has the prettiest moans and isn’t afraid to let you know how he’s feeling. when you’re in missionary, he’ll hold himself up with one elbow, hold your hand with the other, and will lean down to moan right in your ear. sometimes does it on purpose bc he knows it turns you on from how you clench around him

usually has a death grip on that sensitive spot between your hips and your waist so he has something to hold on to while he pounds you

when he cums, he 100% buries his face in the crook of your neck, might even bite down from time to time 

can totally see him going harder if he knows there’s people around, he doesn’t care who it is that’s outside the door but they’re gonna hear how good he’s making you feel whether you like it or not

wants to see your face when you cum. will definitely tell you to cum for him and keep your eyes open when he’s really feeling it - your expression makes him nut so fucking hard lawwddd

daps u up after sex just cause he’s weird like that lol

[buttterknifeee]

New headcannon

Jinx and AQ are besties

Whenever they have to fight they gossip and whichever’s ones team loses has to pretend to lose

Jinx has also got increasingly annoyed with AQ’s obliviousness

At this point she wants to beat it over her head

PLS I LOVE THIS

they're fighting and Aquagirls like "You find a boyfriend yet?" And Jinx punches her in the gut and is like "no, all the guy villains are sooo lame" and shes like "aw let me know if you like anyone i know i can hook you up!" while elbowing her in the face.

And sometimes they try to "kidnap" you but you just spend the whole time in jinx's room just gossiping.

"ughhh Robin's so cute and nice and he really cares about me"

"So ask him out"

"ughhhhhh i cant he doesnt like me"

"You stupid bitch"

And after Jinx becomes an honorary Titan you can now hang out with her without brawling so you both talk about your boyfriends and listen to her complain about Kid Flash flirting with other girls

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers being Soft for Their Daughters 

Might just be me but I think there's nothing cuter than a Dad who loves his daughter so I made a hc for our boys. Strap in, it’s a long one! 

IMPORTANT! Watch out for first half spoilers! Assumed that the child is a half human/half demon with the MC!

Lucifer

Tries to be really strict but ends up being kind of a pushover.

Oh there ARE rules that even his little girl can't break, but most of the time she can get away with almost anything if she's cute clever enough.

Pushes her to be the best at almost anything she tries, expectations be real high; gonna take the MC stepping in to remind him winning isn't everything and please cool it on the pressure.

Lowkey learned his lesson before and doesn't want to make another Satan situation so tries to take MC's advice to heart and not be quite so controlling.

Her favorite uncle is Mammon and he gets cold sweats about this every night.

Wasn't able to be there for a lot of her firsts due to work and gets real sulky when he misses out. Videos just don't offer the same experience...

Feels bad that work keeps him so busy so he tries to make up for it with toys, clothes, jewelry, pretty much whatever she likes at the time.

Would never admit it, but his black heart melts every time he comes home and sees she's excitedly waiting by the door.

One of those parents who will never stop bragging about how amazing their kid is to anyone who will listen, but never when she's in the same room.

100% that overprotective "I'm going to give you a brief tour of the torture chamber, then we’ll browse my whip collection. Oh, make sure she's home by 8" kind of dad if she were to ever bring home a date. They will know that his baby is not to be messed with (like anyone's crazy enough to try honestly).

Mammon

So over the goddamn moon that someone actually wanted to have a kid with him that he couldn't shut up about it for weeks.

Treasures his little girl more than anything he owns, even Goldie. When she's a baby the two of them are practically inseparable.

The biggest pushover to ever be pushed. She's about the only person he's ever unconditionally generous to and he really spoils her rotten.

She's just as materialistic as her father, honestly, but MC made sure their girl was raised with good morals. The first of which being no stealing. Ever. She works for every cent she spends.

On the one hand, he's actually pretty damn proud and relieved that she won't be called "scum" or anything like her father, but on the other hand like… Ew. Who raised you? (No one remind him it’s kind of his doing anyway).

For once in his greedy existence, he can tell a sob story about really needing that loan or those shoes for his beloved daughter and actually mean it… most of the time 😏

Even when she's young, though, she will ask him if a gift he's giving her was taken from someone else and, man, he cannot lie to her face. People shame him for stealing all the time but the little look of disappointment she gives him hurts WAY more than all of his brothers’ insults combined.

Probably one of the most supportive and involved dads in existence. He will be at every game, every recital, every meet. Even if he's complaining the whole time, if anyone so much as suggests that he just shouldn't go he'd be appalled.

…. He's perhaps a little too involved because he's also totally the kind of father who will lowkey stalk his daughter's dates to be sure nothing bad happens. MC, please step in. She needs privacy too.

Leviathan

Was incredibly worried about having a kid, he's not even had the best track record when it comes to pets and parenting is some high-level normie stuff. But his little girl's first smile absolutely melted his doubts away.

That being said… he's still not the greatest with little kids. For a long time if the baby so much as sneezed unexpectedly he'd start shouting for the MC and checking every website he can like??? My half demon baby won't stop sneezing, is it pneumonia???

Gets a lot less panicky as the child gets older, but in those early years he'd practically want to stick them in a bubble wrap suit.

He passed on his love of the ocean and underwater creatures pretty early on. The running joke is that his girl knew how to swim before she knew how to crawl.

Family aquarium trips are an absolute must.

The second they're old enough to understand plot he's introducing them to his favorite shows, but only the best (and most child-friendly) ones of course. He wants his daughter to grow into a woman of culture, damnit! Pop culture that is.

Sooo much text/chat lingo between these two. It's not her fault really. She was bound to pick it up but man can it sound like they're speaking tongues at times.

With practice she can and will beat her old man at most video games and, yes, it makes his cry tears of equal parts pride and aggravation.

Has a mini-panic attack every time she hits a new milestone, like, yes he's so fucking proud but also don't you think she's growing up too fast??? MY BABY GIRL!!! 😭😭😭

Cries like a baby to the MC when she goes out on her first date because he realized she's really, truly, growing up and he's afraid his little girl isn't going to want to spend time with her lame old dad anymore.

Satan

Tries to be strict and IS strict but mostly on schoolwork.

Her grades best not be slippin' or this Book Papa will take all her stuff away. End of discussion.

Otherwise, he's surprisingly chill being the Avatar of Wrath and all. He of all people understands the desire to just have your own life and do your own thing.

She'll inherit his temper though, that's a given, and if they both get going then watch out. Fights between them can get verbally explosive, but never physical. Even at his angriest Satan would never once lay a hand on his daughter.

Read to her every night when she was young: storybooks, novels, mythologies, didn't matter to him. Whatever she wanted to hear. Still, he was so proud the day she told him that she wanted to read on her own.

100% makes nearly everything in life a teachable lesson but also helps her when she needs it. He wants her to forge her own path but is still very supportive when the situation calls for it.

Would never EVER admit it, but he does just as many dad jokes as Lucifer.

Of all the brothers, he's probably the most typical father to have, there for his kid just enough while also making sure they're not getting away with murder.

Is totally chill with her dating because he knows he doesn’t have to be super protective of her. She can more than handle herself if something goes wrong, in fact, if he were to step in it would probably add insult to their already grievance injury.

That being said, he IS the Avatar of Wrath. If someone hurts his girl he’s going to have a turn one way or another.

Asmodeus

Oh YEEESSS, he's not normally the commitment kind of guy but he and MC raising a child? They'd be the most gorgeous thing in the universe!!! (Not counting himself of course)

Beautifying his baby since day one, but the MC keeps him from doing anything too extreme. A lot of baths, good moisturizer, hairstyling (when she grows enough of it), etc.

Soooo many outfits. She'll practically never wear the same thing twice and Asmo coordinates his own clothes to match hers all the time.

He actually goes out and parties LESS if you can believe it, especially when she's young and needs a lot of supervision. But he'll get pent up real quick so learning how to do a quiet quickie during naptime is a must.

His girl is all over his Devilgram, nearly every milestone is snapped up and recorded. He loves her more than anything and would just scream about his pride and joy from the rooftops if social media didn't provide him that outlet.

Makes sure his daughter knows that she is gorgeous, she is loved, and passes on every bit of self-confidence he has. Doesn't matter if she grows up a girly-girl, tomboy, or anything else under the sun. When you're feeling good just being you, heads will turn on their own accord!

Not the best at discipline and would only really step in if he thinks she's being a real jerk about something. Day to day attitude adjustments are totally up to the MC.

He is, however, the best sex-ed teacher one could ever ask for and makes sure his daughter knows there's no shame in what comes natural, just be sure you're respectful and responsible!

Completely unfazed when the suitors began lining up, I mean she is HIS daughter. It was inevitable. Offers tips and advice when he can but lets her go off and experiment naturally. Young love is a beautiful thing! (Just don't break his girl's heart though because he may lowkey curse your whole bloodline)

Beelzebub 

….. MC, you're going to be eaten out of house and home.

Though his daughter's appetite isn't AS bad as his, Beel could tell it's going to be an issue from day one but he's ready for it.

Dedicates his freaking life to being sure she never goes one night hungry. He'll cook, he'll shop, he'll even share from his own plate if he has to. The thought of her going through anywhere near the level of starvation he feels on a daily basis is enough to crush his soul (if he has one)

You better bet there will be eating competitions. She never wins, but the fact she can even get close will have him grinning anyway.

That being said, he will push for a healthy and active lifestyle for her too. 

Highkey wants her playing sports and doing team activities because he genuinely thinks it will help her stay healthy and make friends.

Just the right amount of discipline. Tries to be understanding but also knows when to call a spade, a spade and express his disapproval.

Very in-tune to her emotions and her needs even if he can’t quite grasp WHY she's feeling the way she is. Keeping up with teen drama is going to be the bane of his existence...

Uncle Belphie=That one cool uncle who lets you get away with anything and probably gives out sugar after bedtime.

One of the only brothers who makes a point of his daughter also seeing and exploring her human heritage too and not just treating her like a pseudo-demon… And it's totally not just for the added excuse of sampling human world cuisine, like, come on who do you take him for? 🤫

Somewhat cautious about her dating, but ultimately just wants her to be happy. He'll usually trust her judgment but he's pretty good at reading someone's character and if he gets real bad vibes from anyone he's not above telling her, "No. Not that one." Whether or not he's listened to depends on the situation.

Belphegor

Lol MC, you could have picked a much better choice. Borderline Deadbeat/Cool Dad here!

Kids… not his thing. He doesn't dislike them exactly, they're just a lot of work and he's sort of allergic to that. He's more of a semi-irresponsible babysitter type.

Case in point, "Belphie, watch the baby" becomes "Belphie, if you're going to take a nap at least hold onto her leg so she doesn't go anywhere."

Only saving grace is she takes after him so most days she's pretty dang sleepy too. Naptime is a good third of the daily routine (not that anyone is complaining).

Shit at discipline because, like, what leg does he have to stand on? If she wants to ditch class, why not let her? Once or twice ain't that bad.

Takes her on a lot of "field trips" to the human world like he would with Lilith. Genuinely wants her to experience both sides of her identity and encourages her to explore her human side just as much as her demon.

The kind of chill dad that you feel comfortable going to when you've got to talk out a problem or need life advice. He might not be able to offer many answers, but he tries in his own way.

Will prank his kid and will not feel sorry, but is never cruel about it. In fact, this will only spur on a mutual prank war between the two.

Uncle Beel=that genuinely nice uncle who tries to teach you life lessons and how to take care of yourself… while also eating a ton of food.

Would be super confused at first if she started dating like?? How? He kind of sees her like a mini-him at times and his human came to him. Since when did she stay awake long enough to leave the house?? But otherwise he goes with the flow. Whatever she wants, her life.

He might get a bit more agitated if she starts to date a human, like, lowkey bad flashbacks to the whole Lilith situation and the MC would probably have to cool his jets about it. Different circumstances after all.

[uwua3]

hello! it's me again!! um.. can i request a day at an amusement park with taichi please? i feel like he doesn't get enough love.

thank you so much for requesting, clover~ ♡ please enjoy this super fluffy piece, just for you~ ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ♡°◌̊ i put lots n lots of #LOVE in it! <3 i love you with all my heart!!!

summary: even cupid deserves love, too!

warnings: bad relationship (slight mention), envy/jealousy, loneliness, misunderstandings

author’s note: happy valentine’s eve eve, my friends! i’m sooo #Happy !! i love valentine’s so much ♡(*´･ω･)(･ω･`*)♡ if you are Free on February 14, i am here waiting with flowers <3 (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)◞⋆**💐 (please celebrate v-day with me TT) ~ in celebration of my favorite holiday, please smile at this fluffy headcanon of taichi as the lovely, adorable cupid! 🏹💗 i love you all!

word count: 3,567

music: heart attack – loona (chuu)

stupid cupid.

🍁🛹 nanao taichi

every year, taichi spent valentine’s day alone

february 14th was another day of being absolutely single. but, for him, there was nothing better than seeing love in the air

especially as the “cupid” working all february long!

as cupid, taichi looked forward to becoming the epitome of pink & red hearts every year. it was a job no one else except him could do; who else to predict the probability of relationships than the matchmaker himself?

taichi loved love! he always could tell when people had crushes on others growing up like it was second nature. he couldn’t even count on both hands how many successful relationships he’s gotten together

love came easy to taichi. it was everything valentine’s was: floating heart balloons, bouquets of red roses, sights only romance movies would show, chocolates that came in heart-shaped boxes, poems from the heart, and so much more~!

the moment taichi set his eyes on someone, it was like he was the one who loaded the arrow and fired it. he knew who liked who, it was what he did best. his intuition was second to none, he was the amusement park’s cupid

for a month, all taichi had to do was sit at a booth and predict a person’s love life leading up to valentine’s day. it was easy money considering his success rate was 99%!

(we don’t talk about the time taichi accidentally caused a break-up... but, that’s beside the point!) (at least they’re happy now...)

yet, there was one thing wrong: taichi was loveless

despite being made of love, breathing love, living out of love, taichi had never celebrated valentine’s. it seemed like all the arrows missed him completely

taichi had never experienced any of the things that made love love, but that was okay! sure, it was a little lonely seeing happy couples all month but... it was worth it to see the smile on people’s faces! love wasn’t just romantic, platonic love was super important!

still... taichi forced himself to smile to apply the heart-shaped blush to his cheeks. there was a part of him, a hole in his heart, that longed to know what valentine’s felt like

FEBRUARY 1 — taichi fluttered the pair of angel wings excitedly, happy to be back in his valentine’s attire. he couldn’t help but jump up and down, squealing about how good it was to be “back in business”

even without his usual pink & red contacts, taichi’s eyes would’ve had heart-shaped pupils with how much love he had for this holiday season! as he greeted his coworkers for the first time in a year, taichi stood out amongst the crowd of workers listening to their orders for the day

as usual, taichi would be the cupid at a small, glittery booth that was louder than life itself. sure, it was a very discreet and low-budget set up, but it always was a fan favorite to catch this valentine’s season

taichi couldn’t help but run off to his station the moment he was dismissed, his wings flapping behind him and sling of heart arrows jostling. he almost slid past his stool but skidded, luckily landing in the right place with a bright grin on his face

when the afternoon officially began with people beginning to come in to the amusement park, taichi tapped his feet with exhiliration. showtime!

“welcome~! find out your love fortune this valentine’s season!” taichi happily advertised, putting his heart and soul into gathering the attention of the masses. slowly but surely, people began flocking to his side, unable to resist the teen’s infectious love and happiness to be here

it was like taichi raised the bow & arrow and fired into the squad. it captured the hearts of a hundred as people sat down across from him, seeking his love & relationship advice

there was a multitude of ways taichi could make someone’s day. whether it was reading love oracle cards or mixing up candy hearts, taichi loved putting on a show for people to enjoy

during a gap between couple sessions, taichi leaned his cheek against his hand and quietly whined to himself. he had recently just met such an adorable and lovey-dovey pair, even he felt sick with how much sweetness there was!

taichi wished he had that... before looking up. suddenly, his heart skipped a beat

it was like the gods & goddesses of love had heard his prayers because today was the first day he saw you

someone passed by the forming line. you hadn’t even noticed him, but taichi had certainly noticed you. when the moment passed and you disappeared, taichi had to focus before getting back into his cupid persona, smiling charmingly like nothing had happened

but, something did happen. taichi had just experienced love at first sight!

taichi hadn’t even had time to load his arrow before you hit him with his

it’s not like he was going to see you again, though... taichi’s loveless life wasn’t a romance film. nor a sappy piece of literature, unfortunately

though, for once, cupid wished he had someone to share this special month with like everyone else

FEBRUARY 3 — taichi was in charge of the valentine’s decorations comimg up. this was perhaps, the best news he had received in his entire life

there was something about folding a million origami hearts that made taichi’s own heart grow a thousand times larger. it was calming during his breaks to fold and fold again, with no thought process behind a skill that came naturally

as taichi cut the colorful paper into the perfect size with ease, he was humming the latest pop song on the radio before he heard something that made his heart break

arguing?! in the loveliest season of the year?!

taichi glanced around and noticed a distinct couple. the pair was fighting rather publicly despite the other person trying to keep their voice down and calm their partner down. before taichi could turn away and mind his own business, they sighed and turned in his direction

taichi felt his breath hitch in his throat as his hands froze, the paper suddenly bent in his tight grip. it was you, the person from two days ago!

so much for it being an one-time thing... taichi could already feel the butterflies in his stomach just at the thought of this being fate. twice in a row? did this mean something?

as taichi tried to search through his brain for what the chick flicks and rom-coms liked to say, you had already left with the person you were arguing with. as they walked ahead of you, you hung your head low with the shame and embarrassment of public humiliation

for some reason, taichi hated seeing you like that despite not knowing anything about you. he was irrationally frustrated as well; how could anyone just make you sad like that and not apologize?

taichi figured he could do one last love reading for the day

when you passed by his booth, you didn’t notice how taichi had left a surprise in your jacket pocket

you exhaled softly when you arrived home, leaning on the door and closing your eyes. when you put your hands in your pockets, you paused as you felt something between your fingers

pulling it out, you noticed a small red origami heart. inside, was a message in a messy, hurried scrawl

“leave them, you deserve better. be with someone who makes you smile! — cupid ♡”

despite everything, you smiled

FEBRUARY 5 — taichi barely had time before there was a person at his booth: you

before taichi could even process that you were real, you spoke: “i broke up with them.”

taichi blinked. this was the first thing he’d learn about you, and it wasn’t even your name! this type of news usually wouldn’t make taichi feel like this, but he was honestly over the moon. he didn’t need to know anything else to know your previous partner had little to no consideration for your feelings

he’d definitely be a better boyfr—wait, what?!

“oh.” taichi said lamely, but his heart jumped when you laughed. it was a nice sound, one that made him think of giant teddy bears and sugary sweet candy. taichi wondered how hard the arrow hit, it must’ve gotten bullseye

“what’s your name?” you took the words right out of his mouth, and taichi blushed under the attention. despite being the main focus of the valentine’s event every year, it was different coming from you. it was like... you were really seeing him

“cupid, at your service!” taichi quickly jumped into character, bowing with a flourish. if he was in an anime, he’d be sparkling with rose effects right now, taichi thought proudly

but, you didn’t clap or amuse him like his other customers. instead, you observed him with a questioning look. it was like you were picturing him without the valentine’s attire, without the wings, bow & arrow, and glitter across his face

“i meant your real name.”

taichi blanked. you were a surprise; he had never been this speechless in his entire life... it was honestly kinda embarrassing for him, taichi was flustered for once

“but, why do you want to know?”

“because you make me smile.”

when taichi told you, you said it aloud and he finally understood what it meant to have a crush

all it took was one conversation and taichi was head over heels for you

FEBRUARY 7 — taichi had never been a target of love before. no one had ever liked him, nor had he ever developed a serious crush on someone before. he was far too busy fixing everyone’s disaster of a love life, never mind his own!

yet, it was like the world aligned so you two could meet. taichi swore the stars aligned, fate was working its magic so you both would meet at this giant amusement park during the most romantic month of the year

even though it had only been a week or so since taichi first met you, it felt like you two knew each other for your whole lives. after getting over the fact you made his heart beat way too fast, taichi quickly warmed up to you and vise versa

while you only came to actually thank cupid for helping you get out of a bad relationship, you realized you very much liked the person behind the angel wings. taichi was everything you expected and more, with his personality that reminded you valentine’s maybe wasn’t so bad

speaking of, taichi was absolutely in hysterics when he found out your stance on valentine’s

“what?! what do you mean you don’t....” taichi took in a deep breath, as if it pained him to continue. “you don’t like valentine’s day?!”

you knew it was ironic to befriend literal cupid when you didn’t have a taste for romance to begin with, but you tried to hide your entertained expression with a lighthearted eye roll

“i’ve never celebrated it. it seems like a capitalistic excuse to buy a bunch of overpriced stuff, to be honest.”

you physically winced when you heard the crack of taichi’s poor, poor heart. his puppy eyes widened at your revelation and leaned forward, uncharacteristically serious for his cupid persona. luckily, he was taking a fifteen-minute break so the curtains were drawn to hide his immense sadness

“b-but!” taichi spluttered, his brain running a million arguments at once, which was way too fast for his mouth. “it’s valentine’s day! it’s sooo romantic! love is everywhere! how can you not love love?”

you thought about it some more before shrugging, crossing your legs and trying to not break taichi’s heart even more. the poor cupid, it looked like he was going to cry like a baby

“why do you love love then?”

only you could render taichi silent. he had never been truly asked that question before, nor had he reflected on why he was the first person to become cupid every year

when taichi struggled to answer, you waited before he started speaking. it lacked the usual wonder and excitement he always had, it seemed like it was almost... personal

“i love love because... love is who i am. i didn’t...” taichi stopped, as if considering sharing with you before continuing, not giving you the second to tell him he didn’t have to. he wanted to, anyways

“i didn’t have love to call my own, at least, not the way i wanted it. so, i made my own love. i love people, i love the world, i love everything. everything deserves love! just because i love a lot, doesn’t make it any less special.”

you thought taichi would’ve said the expensive bouquets florists made of the prettiest roses. or the largest stuffed animals holding stitched plush hearts in their paws. or sunsets with classical music playing in the background like a nicholas sparks film. not... not that

“okay you sap, maybe valentine’s day isn’t that bad if you like it, then.”

taichi’s wings fluttered and he sat up, a smile upon his face

“i promise, valentine’s day is the best!”

now, that i’ve met you, taichi thought

FEBRUARY 9 — taichi came to work only to find a bouquet of flowers upon his booth. they were the grandest displays of affection yet, with the best-smelling hundred petal roses he had ever imagined

you, on the other hand, weren’t so impressed

“cupid, have you stolen the heart of another?” you said in the tone of a dramatic shakespearian actor, pretending to swoon when taichi hid his face in the flowers

“i... usually get flowers like these when i work, it’s nothing, really.” taichi mumbled, holding the flowers to his chest as a warm feeling spread across his body. he usually never got flowers, this was the first time someone had found his charms alluring enough to gift him such a pricey present

one look and you already knew he was lying. your heart fell a little when you noticed how happy taichi was, but you pretended to not care as you winked at him

“oh~ taichi has a lover now, huh?” he giggled in response, adamantly denying it despite holding the bouquet like it was his most prized possession. you glared a little harder at the red roses more than you’d like to admit

why were you feeling so... jealous? it’s not like you wanted the flowers or anything so—oh

when taichi turned that lovesick gaze towards you, you suddenly felt like you were on a sugar rush

when taichi performed his role better than ever with his newfound love for all things traditionally romantic, you watched off to the side

you reached up to your chest to feel the arrow, but to no avail

have you fallen for cupid?

FEBRUARY 11 — taichi shuffled the cards professionally, but his behavior was anything but that. the last time you had sat on the other side of the booth was days ago, but here you were, waiting for your love reading

when taichi met you, you weren’t a person who heavily believed in love. romance wasn’t something that made you happy nor did valentine’s day make you count down to february 14th like him. yet, you suddenly paid for a reading

you stared expectantly at him, your face once again unreadable and hard to distinguish. even if taichi was friends with you, he never mastered the art of reading you like a romance book. it was one of his most prominent talents, too, so it was strange why he couldn’t

you only showed him what you wanted him to see, unfortunately. regardless, taichi did the whole shebang, theatrics and all even if you had seen it a thousand times by now

“welcome to cupid’s love booth! let me read your love life~” taichi laid out the pink cards in a pretty, attention-grabbing manner before asking you to pick three. you did so relatively quickly, which taichi admired you for (he had once sat waiting for someone to pick, but they had taken nearly ten minutes. there was only so much cupid could do)

when taichi flipped them over, it was surprising, to say the least. of course, you didn’t understand a thing as you waited for him to explain. however, taichi fell quiet, reading the cards with furrowed eyebrows

“awww, come on, cupid, give it to me straight. am i destined to be single forever?” you joked but a part of you worried about taichi’s reaction. even though he wore his heart on his sleeve and always expressed his feelings, he had never reacted this negatively to a reading before

taichi laughed at your joke, but it felt like a customer service one. it seemed strained and before you could ask if he was okay, taichi’s brilliant wink put him back as the amusement park’s favorite cupid

“is there someone you’re not telling me about~? it seems like you have a friend you like, am i right?” taichi had hit bullseye; how did he know just from those cards? you didn’t answer, just offering an innocent shrug as if you didn’t care. you very much did, though

“so i am! i’m seeing that you’ve recently liked them, ahhh, young love~” taichi sighed, as if in love with the concept already. “looks like love’s in the air, my dear, so don’t worry about a thing! they like you back, without a doubt.”

you looked up at this, eyes wide before returning to your nonchalant state. taichi wondered what that could’ve meant even as he tried to maintain his shaking hands

“they do? how do you know?”

taichi held a finger to his lips, as if it was a secret only cupid could know

“shhh, i just know. trust me, they’d be a fool to not like you back.”

you could tell it wasn’t cupid just talking, and you knew what you had to do

“i’ll ask them to be my valentine tomorrow, then.”

taichi’s heart broke but... as long as you were happy, how could he say no?

FEBRUARY 13 — taichi wished he had a valentine. if only you liked him, maybe he would’ve asked you, his first crush, to be his this month (and even longer). but, you were somewhere else, asking someone else to be your valentine

taichi frowned, finding it hard to maintain his happy excitement forever as the line began becoming longer and longer. taichi huffed, looking around as if you’d suddenly appear. but, taichi’s life wasn’t a movie...

“hey cupid, why so sad?”

taichi turned around to see the biggest plushie he had seen in his entire life. it covered your entire frame, with the dog ears flopping over its giant black eyes cutely. in its arms was a red heart with the cursive words “i like you!” in white stitching

before taichi could even react, you peeked over the plush’s shoulder with a slightly embarrassed look

“can you take it already? i’ve been getting weird looks from everyone i’ve walked by.”

taichi took the plush and placed it on the seat next to him, about to speak before you pulled out an even bigger bouquet from behind your back

they weren’t just red roses. they were a rainbow of them, ranging from pink, white, yellow, blue, red, and even black! taichi could barely even count how many there were before you passed it to him, doing your best to not pass out and die from how sappy this all was

“see, these are even better than the bouquet you got last time. i clearly am the better, uh, person for you, you know?” taichi didn’t have the time to respond before you turned around again and presented a display of chocolates, all of them heart-shaped and tied in ribbon

“you like chocolate, right? yeah, of course you do, i also got—” before you could keep rambling, taichi gently held your hand. your heartrate skyrocketed and you froze, unsure of what to do when taichi was looking at you with his heart eyes

“you got all of this... for me?” taichi was genuinely amazed and flattered, a light dust of red across his cheeks at how romantic all of this was. you blushed as well, looking away bashfully

“i mean, yeah. i don’t see anyone else around.”

“but... you don’t like valentine’s day?”

you sighed, knowing the next words out of your mouth are word he’s going to never let you forget

“but, i like you.”

“but... i thought you liked someone else?”

“stupid cupid, i like you. only you.”

taichi stood up, not as cupid, but as himself. when he softly turned your head towards him, he smiled gently, squeezing your hands with all the appreciation in the world

“i like you, too. with or without the romance, i would’ve said yes to being your valentine no matter what you did.”

you breathed a sigh of relief. sure, you didn’t love love like taichi, but... he deserved it

“i have an idea.” you proposed, leaning in closer as taichi awaited your response with bated breath

“you should open a kissing booth.”

“you’d be my only customer.”

“then give me my kiss already!”

FEBRUARY 14 (valentine’s day) — every year, taichi spent valentine’s alone. until, he met you

“stupid cupid, i like you.”

you and taichi were shot by cupid’s arrow this valentine’s day

[joyseuphoria]

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when 

how 

tell me everything 

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila 

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance 

thx marls 

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill 

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD 

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 

Lily Evans: ik u cant 

Jamie Potter: 

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes ! 

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class 

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

 Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius 

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious 

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly 

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up 

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect 

our ship is finally sailing 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt 

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

:/

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie 

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice 

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna 

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 

ohhh look 

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question 

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian 

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Ok

Thanks guys 

Sirius Black: np pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category 

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names 

sry I didnt realise

 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him 

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 

“Marlene,” Lily warned. 

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 

 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 

[stupid-stew]

two vent fics in as many days? me? nooooo.

the answer is actually yes. i am in crisis all of the time. here take a gender one because why the heck not it's 4:30 am and i have nothing to lose. luz, toady you are me. there is also a little bit of parent eda because what do you take me for? a fool? (Pronouns? AO3 link if that floats ur boat)

Luz Noceda had a lot of problems.

Sure, she was stuck in a hell dimension with no way home in sight, where her best chance of surviving was reliant on her having magic, of which she had none, and was separated from her mom, and was currently blaming herself for her surrogate mom having lost her magic, but that wasn’t the point right now.

Right now, Luz was focused on herself. That’s usually how these nights ended up, with her so lost in thought that she circled back to the root of the problem, she didn’t know who she was.

That wasn’t entirely true, she was Luz Noceda, average teen, lover of Azura, daughter of Camila, professional witch in training, student at Hexside School of Magic and Demonics, foe to an unlucky few, friend to most, the girl who had managed to outsmart the emperor and get herself stuck so far from home she might as well just give up now. Luz knew what she was, she was what other people knew her for, but who was she? Anyone’s guess, suggestions much appreciated.

She had grown up in an environment that exposed her to many different people, the internet. Yeah, maybe she had seen a lot of stuff way before she should have, but she also had the whole world at her fingertips, many types of people and experiences just on the other side of her screen, and it had led to some amazing things. Her mom had also been a big help, allowing Luz to question and experiment any which way she pleased, as long as she was happy and safe. That had helped Luz figure out who she liked, she was comfortable telling her mom she liked girls confidently at the ripe age of 10, Camila had of course been nothing but accepting.

That was easy enough, right? She knew exactly what she was, who she liked, hell she could figure out most people just by looking at them, so why couldn’t she figure out herself?

And that was where Luz was at, laying on the floor in her makeshift bedroom in the owl house, once again wondering what in the hell was a gender.

Luz was no stranger to this internal battle, it sort of came with the whole territory of figuring out your sexuality, but for the life of her she didn’t even know where to start.

Ok, she thought to herself, let’s start from the top. I don’t know where the top is. What is the easiest way to go about this. Most people start with pronouns, maybe that’s a good place to start? Luz let out a groan, this was going nowhere. Back on track. she/her. Simple enough, good solid pronouns. That’s what most people have called me forever. I'm comfortable with it, other people are comfortable with it, no, what other people think doesn’t matter, this is about me. Focus, Luz. Ok, she/her, fine. Though not always, doesn’t always feel right, how can words feel right or wrong that doesn’t even make sense. Whatever, most of the time she/her equals a girl.

Luz shivered at that, girl, the word had never felt right to her, something about it was gross in her mind. She had always hated being referred to as girl or daughter, but never had the guts to speak up about it in the moment. Luz chuckled to herself, and look where we are now. she/her moved to the maybe pile for now.

Next on the list was he/him. Luz smiled at that. Being a somewhat androgynous child for most of her life with short hair, being called her mother’s son at the grocery store was a fairly common occurrence. She recalled one time she was out with a couple of friends and some sweet old lady had said to them “you ladies have a nice day.” and then looked at Luz and added “oh, my bad, and gentleman.” Luz had to leave the store at that, her friends had assumed she was upset that the lady had called her a gentleman, but that wasn’t the case. She was more upset about having been singled out than anything, in fact she hadn’t at all minded being called a gentleman. It didn’t feel completely right, but it didn’t feel completely wrong either.

Ok, so pronouns, this is Luz, he is my apprentice. Eh, feels about the same as she. That’s so lame I was hoping there would be some sort of difference. The only discomfort is that i’m used to she, god my head hurts just thinking about this. Luz rolled over to her other side and covered her head with her sleeping bag. How can I feel literally the same about the two, I haven’t even left the binary, there’s only two options, one should be right, the other should be wrong. This is the same idea as answering an either or question and both options are the same but both are neither right nor wrong. It doesn’t even make sense. If the binary isn’t going to give me my answers then I need to step it up.

They/Them was dangerous territory for Luz and she knew it. This wasn’t her first time around the block, she knew that she loved they/them pronouns for herself. “This is Luz, they’re my apprentice.” God it just felt so right. She could never figure out why, much less bring herself to even try, which was probably how she kept landing herself in this situation. Laying up at night, staring at the ceiling, running pronouns, of all things, through her head over and over. It probably would have been easier if she had someone to tell her how gender was supposed to feel. What it was supposed to identify, what it was supposed to offer for her identity, but alas. It had been easier with her sexuality, she knew from the moment someone had told her that liking girls was even an option that was who she was. She was confident in that, it was simple enough. So why was this still so hard?

Luz took her head out from under her sleeping bag and rubbed the heel of her palms over her eyes. I know I like they/them pronouns, they’re my favorite, they feel so correct, huh go figure I finally got my answer, words can feel right. Still not sure how… anyways, what the hell do I do about it? Ask people to just change the way they refer to me? That’s absurd. Luz knew it wasn’t absurd. Not in the slightest. She knew she had done it for plenty of people before, people she had known for years. It wasn’t hard, it was actually pretty easy and she was glad to switch around how she referred to them no matter how many times they asked. So why can’t I just do the same. Most people see me as a boy or a girl, it’s fine, it’s ok, well at the very least I can deal with it. What are they supposed to do? Just not?

Luz sprawled out on her back and shut her eyes as tight as she could. She knew she had met plenty of people who were non binary, and somehow she had been able to erase the idea of them being either a boy or a girl out of her head almost completely. It’s just how it had worked, was it because she didn’t really see herself in that way either? Maybe I’m just making it up. Maybe it’s all in my head and I’m stopping myself from causing a lot of problems, what if I’m wrong, what if I make a mistake and have to ask people to change around again? I barely figured out what pronouns I prefer, ok well I’ve known for a while, but I still don’t have a label. Non binary? Maybe? I wish I knew what gender was supposed to feel like. She placed her hands behind her head and sighed. If you asked me what gender felt like to me I either wouldn’t have an answer and would start crying or would just scream shrilly at you for a few minutes. Pronouns don’t equal gender but what are either of those. If I use they/them pronouns do I have to identify as non binary? I don’t even like labeling my sexuality and I know what that is. God, I haven’t even scratched the surface of how I present mysel-

Her thoughts were muted by a knock at her door.

“Luz I know you’re awake.”

It was Eda, of course it was. Who else would be awake at this hour and hear her singular sigh from the hallway?

Luz pushed herself up from off the ground and slowly opened the door.

“Can’t sleep?” Eda asked.

Luz just shook her head. She didn’t have the energy for words at the moment.

Eda sighed and stretched out her arm to reach behind her head and pull out a clock from her hair. “Me neither, looks like it’s too late for either of us to be awake. Want some tea?”

Luz nodded and followed Eda down the creaky stairs and to the kitchen. Eda immediately found a kettle and started filling it with water to boil while Luz took a seat at the counter. They sat with just the sound of the running tap for a few uncomfortable seconds before Eda asked the question Luz had been dreading.

“What’s keeping you up?”

Shoot. Can I talk to her about this? It’s Eda, she doesn’t care, does she? Nobody here seems to mind anything, cool non binary witches. That’s so rad. I don’t want to bother her, what if she doesn’t understand, so I have the energy to explain? How would I even go about dropping this if it goes south?

“Hellooooo? Isles to Luz?”

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Eda waving her hands in her face, she looked… worried? Oh, I haven’t answered her question.

“Hm? Oh, it’s nothing.”

Eda didn’t believe her for a minute.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

Luz just sort of turned her head away and shrugged. Eda knew she couldn’t pry it out of the kid. Instead, she just decided to finish making the tea. The two of them sat in silence while the tea bags steeped, which gave Luz a moment back to herself to question her next move.

Eda handed Luz the steaming mug. “You can talk about it if you want. I’ll listen.”

“I don’t know how to do this.”

Eda grinned. They were getting somewhere, whatever was keeping the kid awake this late at night was reaching the surface.

“Just go for it, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Sooo many things Eda.

Luz decided to just start out simple. “Do you know what pronouns are?”

Eda nodded. Ok, good.

“Ok, what are your pronouns?”

Eda was taken aback by this a little, nobody had asked her that in years. What was the kid dealing with? “Well, I use she/her pronouns, but I’ve never really felt attached to any of them, so whatever works just works I guess. Same for King, I don’t really think he cares much as long as you’re referring to him as royalty.” Eda snorted with laughter.

Luz was kind of in shock. Does she feel the same way I do? How did she pick? “How did you know?” the words just kind of fell out of her mouth in a mess.

“Know what?”

Eda looked at her with confusion.

“What pronouns you use?”

“I don’t know, here nobody really cared that much, why should I?”

Then Eda remembered.

“Ooooh yeah you humans use them for that whole gender identity thing. We kind of have that here but it’s not as big of a deal, you guys have all those labels, yeah?”

Luz swallowed deeply and nodded.

“Is that what’s keeping you up?”

Another nod.

“Do you wanna talk at me? I know you do better with your words than your mind, I can do the dishes while you talk if you don’t want my focus.”

Luz was now completely dumbfounded. In the last two minutes, Eda had told her that not only was gender a human thing, but that she was willing to let Luz process it the way that she needed, how had she known? Wait…. Just how similar are Eda and I? Luz couldn’t help but wonder.

Luz nodded and Eda got up without a word and headed straight for the sink.

“I don’t know. Back in the human world, people have a lot of words that they use to describe their genders. I don’t understand any of them, I know their definitions, but I don’t know how to relate to them.”

Luz paused and Eda gave her a gentle hum of interest as a signal to continue.

“They’ve just never made sense to me, I don’t know why and I don’t know how but it’s incredibly frustrating. I gave up on trying to get it and moved on to the things that I do get, which is limited to pronouns. You’ve got the binary pronouns like she and he, usually those fit the words girl and boy, not always, sometimes people use more than one set of pronouns, but the thing is I can’t pick. They feel the exact same to me. There are other ones, the most common being they/them, and I really like those, Eda I really really like them.”

Eda smiled at her, glad to see Luz’s face lighting up.

“But I don’t know. I don’t know if I should use one set, multiple. It’s really bothering that so many people back home understand, they just seem so sure of themselves, they know who they are, they know that they’re a boy or a girl or neither or even both, there’s even more genders to be a combination of, but I can’t. I think there has to be something wrong with me because I know it shouldn’t be this hard but it is, it’s always on my mind, and I can’t stop it or make it make sense. I haven’t even begun to entertain the idea of asking people to change the pronouns they use for me because I can’t tell myself what label even goes with what, and I feel stupid.”

Eda stopped what she was doing.

“You aren’t stupd Luz.”

“How can you say that when I don’t even know who I am, I can’t even figure out what words I want people to use when they refer to me.” Luz sounded exhausted.

Eda turned around and looked her in the face, dead serious. “You aren’t stupid, you just don’t know who you are,” she dried her hands on a towel and sat down across from Luz. “and that’s ok. I know it’s maddening not knowing, but you’re allowed to feel that way, if you don’t have all the answers, what’s gonna happen? Are you gonna die?”

Luz rolled her eyes “sometimes it really does feel like it.”

Eda stood up. “Well we can’t have that, no dead apprentices. You seem to have been thinking about this for a long time, you just need a little bit of a push. Pick some new pronouns.”

Luz stared at her, “what?”

“You can’t figure out how the feeling works, or if there even is one, that’s ok. But, you know that there are some words that fit better than others. You might not be able to tell me why, but you know what they are. What are they?”

Luz didn’t know what to do, she hadn’t prepared herself for this. She was ready for Eda not knowing what was going on, not this. She’s right, time to rip off the bandaid.

“I don’t know…”

“Yes you do.”

There really is no getting out of this one.

“I don’t know, I guess they/them feels ok? Better than the others?”

“And so it shall be.” Eda stated matter-of-factly.

Luz shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “but I don’t know, I’m really used to she/her, they don’t fit quite right but they’ve never really felt wrong enough to get rid of completely.”

Eda shrugged, “you don’t have to. You can use both if you want.”

Luz wasn’t sure, she knew Eda was right, but she couldn’t help but recall the time someone had told her that adding they/them to your pronouns was performative and accomplished nothing. Screw them.

“Ok.” It was simple, but it’s all she had.

“Anything else I should know?”

Luz took a deep breath, she was in this far, might as well keep it up.

“It really bothers me when I get referred to as a girl, I know that I don’t know what labels go where, but I know that one is wrong.”

“Good to know.”

This was going way better than Luz expected, but now all her thoughts were out and she had a little bit of a resolution, she was finally starting to feel how late it was. She yawned, “I think I’m done for the night.”

Eda put on a mock offended look, “But you didn’t even touch your tea? I worked so hard on that for you!”

Luz gave her a weak smile. “It was never about the tea, was it, you just wanted me to talk.”

Eda reached out and ruffled Luz’s hair, “It worked, huh?”

“Yeah I guess it did.”

“Good.”

They emptied their cups into the now pristine sink and went back up the stairs.

“Thanks Eda.”

“Don’t mention it.”

[hargrove-mayfields]

Dream Boy Lover

June 12, 1985

The dead heat of Hawkins summer is almost in full swing, but in the damp cement back room at Hawkins Community Pool, it’s freezing.

Waiting out the time before her next turn in the chair is Heather Holloway, laying down on the wooden bench, one leg hanging lazily over the side. She’s got a pair of sweats on over her bathing suit and a throw blanket that was supposed to be on the back of her mother’s expensive couch wrapped around her shoulders.

With her on the same bench is Billy Hargrove, laying on his back like her, their heads touching so that curly pieces of their sprayed hair get tangled together. He’s got his ankles crossed one over the other, wearing his lifeguard hoodie and a pair of boots, but the tips of his nose and fingers are still ice cold. Even out of the sun, lounging around on break, he’s got a pair of aviators propped up on his nose.

They don’t have to be back out in their chairs for another hour or two, something about the manager's nieces coming in and taking over everyone’s shifts, so they’re just killing time.

Heather’s got a gossip magazine that’s a bit too immature for her, the kind aimed at middle schoolers rather than a couple of fresh out of high school adults, and she’s reading out loud anything she finds interesting. Billy’s got a bag of skittles he got from the vending machine on his chest, and occasionally, when he doesn’t have a cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips, he drops a few into his own or Heather's mouths. She’d suggested the skittles, he likes M&Ms better.

After a few minutes of silent page turning, Billy feels himself start drifting off to sleep, it’s too cold and he didn’t sleep last night and he’s bored, but Heather startles him awake with an exclamation of, “Oh! Listen to this.”

She clears her throat and reads in a smug, over enthusiastic voice. “How to tell if your crush likes you back.”

Billy groans, he knows the teasing that’s about to come will be insufferable. Ever since Heather got herself a relationship, she’d been trying to get him to follow suit, and she’d weaseled it out of him with hardly any effort that he’d already been gunning it for someone.

Pretty much every day he had to get at least one reminder that he was a coward and a wimp for not making a move, her obsession with his romantic life just that intense, but he’s usually a good sport about it. Like now, as he listens to her read out of a magazine too lame for even his little sister, not interrupting her once as she reads off the list.

Well, at least until she strays from what is actually printed on its glossy pages. “Number one. Does he or she talk to you everyday?” She waited for barely a second before reprimanding him. “Come on William, I’m expecting answers here.”

Sighing through his nose, he plays along. “Whatever. Sure.”

“Okay. Number two. Does he or she tell you all of his or her deepest secrets?”

“Deepest? Dunno about that.” That answer isn’t good enough for Heather, who waits impatiently for him to give her a better one. “Alright, fine. Yes.”

The smile on her face is almost audible through the excitement in her voice. “Number three. Did he or she give you his or her phone number like, the third time you ever talked to each other?”

“That’s not in the magazine, Hetty.”

“Um, it totally is.” She says it like she means it, but there’s a little hint of humor in her tone almost giving her away.

Because she’s so relentless, Billy admits, “It was the fifth time.”

“Number four.” The pause between her words as she thinks of something to taunt Billy with is enough that he knows something ridiculous is about to come out of her mouth. “Does he take you out to the quarry, a place we all know is the cooler older brother of Lover’s Lake, in the middle of the night ‘just to hang out’?”

“That’s it, I’m cutting you off.” He announces, reaching behind his head and snatching the magazine from her hands, flipping it around so he can read it. “My turn.”

“Oh no.” She says with a giggle.

There’s the sound of laminated pages flipping until, Billy says, “Ooh, this one sounds good.” in a tone matching the one Heather used when she started reading.

“How to know if your relationship is going to last.” He gasps for dramatic effect, and Heather can’t stifle a giggle while she waits for the rest of the question, “Do you call each other a thousand times a day and whisper sweet nothings over the phone?”

Even though he can’t see her face, she rolls her eyes. “Duh.”

“Did you pine helplessly after each other for literally three years just to kiss on the first date?”

“Yeah and it was awesome.” They both laugh at that one, her obviously overdone response enough to break the false seriousness they had going.

It’s also a challenge for Billy to do it again.

“Do you stay over at her house every night just so you can wake up together in domestic bliss? Does she pack your work bag for you every morning like you’ve been married for years, and make you your lunch in a little brown bag and kiss you on the forehead on your way out the door and-“

“Alright, alright. I get it.” Billy’s point having been proved, she takes her magazine back and sets It aside with the rest of her stuff. “You’re just jealous because you won’t shoot your shot with Steve.”

“Am not.” He scoffs, trying not to let the little bit of offense he felt at that show. “Have the situation perfectly under control.”

“Sure. Is that why you spend all of your time sighing wistfully and daydreaming about your one true love?” Her hands are clasped together at her cheek and she lets her voice get higher and dreamier.

“My options are limited.” It’s a lame excuse just to deflect the truth and they both know it.

So she calls him on it, and uncontainable smile accompanying the song-Singh remark. “You didn’t deny it!”

“What?”

“That you’re in love with him!”

“Thought that was obvious. Why the hell else do you think I’m still single?” He motions vaguely to himself. “Just look at me, Hetty. Could have anyone I wanted.”

“Except Steve.” The reminder is mostly meant to be like, a way for her to show him that he should just make his move already because he can have anyone he wants, but, having missed the point entirely, Billy sighs and agrees. “‘Cept Steve.”

“I don’t know though, Rob’s been putting out some feelers, and like, her gaydar is super good.” Her and Robin are probably more involved in this than their idiot best friends by this point, it seemed to be all they ever talked about anymore. “She’ll be able to tell you if he’s on the market.”

“I don’t need a lesbians dating advice, thank you.” Billy chuffs. “Pretty sure I can figure it out on my own.”

“Oh.” In a show of feigned nonchalance, she holds her hands above her face so she can examine her painted nails as she says, “So I guess you already knew that his freshman year, Steve dated Tommy Hagan for an entire month.”

The rest of their skittles were sent scattering all over the stained up concrete floor as Billy sat up quickly, his boots swinging to the floor and blood rushing to his head fast enough to knock him silly. “What?”

“See. You had no idea.” Sitting herself up much more gracefully, Heather turns so she’s facing Billy with her legs crossed. “For months you’ve been moping over your straight dream boy, and he’s been bi the whole time.”

“No way.” Stupidly baffled is the only way to describe the look on Billy’s face.

“Yes way.” She nods smugly. “He said so himself.”

This was something she thought was completely obvious at this point, so she can’t help but say, “Seriously, William, when were you going to open your eyes? Someone who doesn’t like you isn’t going to let you crash at their place and tenderly bandage your wounds.”

“S’not tender.” It’s such a confident comeback, Heather could almost believe it.

Almost, but she’d heard all the stories about how Billy’s dad would rough him up, kick him out with a nasty split in his lip or bruises all over, and he’d drive all helpless to his savior Steve Harrington’s house to get patched up. Not tender her hind end.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter, because I also seem to remember him driving an hour into the city to pick you up when your car broke down, sooo…..” Billy wouldn’t win this one, she had just about a million other courting attempts from poor Steve on stand by.

“It wasn’t like that, H.” His gaze fixes to the floor, to a green skittle melting over in the corner, as he mumbles, “We’re not even friends.”

“What about when he saved you a seat on the basketball bus?” The nerve of him to come running back to her with all of his romantic troubles and woes, and still deflect like this. She almost couldn’t bear it. “Or literally like, a week ago when he hand delivered a bunch of super thoughtful birthday gifts to you?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say!” His hands are thrown up in exasperation, though Heather would argue he doesn’t have the right be upset when he’s the one doing all this to himself. “He’s just too nice for his own good.”

“Please lord give me the strength to deal with this boy.” She turns her eyes to the wooden ceiling, joining her hands together in a false prayer. Sighing through her nose, she turns her attention back to Billy, who’s trying to hide his smugness with how frustrated he’s making her. “William. I know you think you screwed that friendship over forever, but I promise you, if Steve didn’t forgive you, he wouldn’t let you in his house, let alone do all this other stuff for you.”

“Dunno Het, kind of hard to forgive someone who doesn’t apologize.” She could ring his neck for how casually he says it.

“What! You mean you didn’t say you were sorry yet?” Rolling up the discarded magazine, she smacks him on the back of the head with it. “William that was like, seven months ago!”

The strain in his voice tells her they’re on the same level of annoyance. “What am I supposed to do! Tell him I’m sorry I almost killed him with my bare hands, and he’ll just forget about me being an evil bastard so we can live happily ever after like you and Robin?”

She hits him again. “One, you are over exaggerating by a long shot buster, and two, you need to quit projecting your crap onto that boy before someone else comes along and swoops him up.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that you’re an idiot William Hargrove.” Another whack with the magazine as she tries to explain the situation, something that makes perfect sense to someone who isn’t emotionally constipated, to Billy who is, well, extremely emotionally constipated. “Steve is trying to move on. He flirts with you like, every day and he was willing to be civil without an apology. That doesn’t mean you ‘aren’t even friends’”

“It means that you,” Her cherry red fingernail presses into the material of his hoodie, “you are the one that needs to forgive yourself.”

“You think so?” There’s a sort of disbelief in his voice, but it’s not like he’s doubting himself so much as he’s mocking Heather for thinking it’s so easy.

And that, well, she’s used to it. They’ve been friends since early December, so she didn’t let him being a big jerk put her off after so long dealing with him acting like this. “Yes I do, as a matter of fact.”

“Think you’re giving me too much credit then, sweetheart.”

“You are so difficult.” She felt like a tired mother scolding a child. “Now you listen up and you listen tight. I don’t want this self-deprecating garbage keeping you from what you deserve, you hear me? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I’m telling you, you have got to take it.”

“Steve does not care one little bit what you think of yourself. He likes the real you. Not who you think you should be, not who you think he deserves. He wants you.” Maybe she’s being dramatic, who knows, but Billy keeping his mouth shut means she’s probably on the right track. “And I guarantee you, you will never forgive yourself if you let that boy go.”

Sure, she’s up on her high horse there, talking down to Billy like he’s completely incompetent, but she’s been in the same boat. From experience she knew Billy’s heart would never recover if he lost Steve to someone else. It was in part for her sake so she wouldn’t have to hear about it, but mostly for her best friend, who already had so much other stuff on his plate to deal with that she wanted to make sure that didn’t happen.

“Don’t be so dramatic Het.” Is what he comes up with, but he’s biting the corner of his nail, something he only does when he’s thinking hard about something. It doesn’t take very long for him to break. “Promise you’re not just hyping me up?”

“You know me better than that. I don’t have a dishonest bone in my body.” With her hand on her heart she promises, “I wouldn’t say any of that stuff if I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He waves her off, but he looks sort of queasy, won’t hold eye contact with her for more than a second. “I’ll think about it.”

“You better.” Leaning over across the bench Heather wraps him in the best hug she can in the awkward position. “You know you’re my best friend in the whole wide world, right?” He lets out a breathy laugh against her hair, “I know, I know.”

It’s for Billy’s sake that she lets him drop it. Were it up to her entirely, she’d want him to make his decision now, she’s tired of watching him be too scared to make decisions for himself, but really, they’ve been at it for half a year, what’s a few more days to get the ball rolling?

So she listens with her full attention, keeping her arm around his waist to never fully break off the hug, as he shifts the conversation to more casual topics, like his failed attempts at trying to teach his little sister how to drive, how his new tattoo is taking way too long to heal, and how he’s triple booked for swim lessons tomorrow morning.

When after so long Adams' voice cuts over the speakers calling for the next ten minute pool check, their break is officially over.

The manager pops his head in to tell them they need one of them to switch out, and Billy, after sitting in one place for so long, stands up and stretches his limbs before he offers himself up, “You stay here in the cool, princess. I’ll keep watch over your loyal subjects.”

It’s obvious he just wants some time to himself, so, where she normally would’ve come back with something silly about how the pool goers respected his abs more than his authority, she instead gives him something to think about during his solitude.

She waits until he’s kicking his boots off and shoving them under the bench to say, “You know, maybe it’s fate that the both of you, absolute hunks that you are, have stayed single this whole summer. You’re probably like, destined to be together.”

“Keep dreaming Holloway.” He says, snatching up his whistle and his smokes from the pile with the rest of his stuff.

All smugly nonchalant she replies, “I’m leaving that up to you, lover boy.”

Billy just laughs as the metal door swings shut behind him, but he admittedly goes on to do exactly that, dreaming of his pretty boy up in the lifeguard chair.

Realizing it might be a hazard to public safety to ignore his responsibilities to drool over Steve Harrington while he’s on duty, he blows his whistle at a kid holding another one under the water, and tries to let the noisy pool distract him.

Heather’s right, this is getting to be ridiculous.

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[ichibanerd]

What are some toxic intp, isfj and infj traits?

If you are any of these types and you happen to have any of this traits I want you to understand that you can change. You can do it. Just pun in the work. It's not gonna be easy but it's sooo worth it.

INTP:

- similarly to INTJ, tries to solve the problem instead of offering comfort. Although that is our way of giving comfort. It shows that we care otherwise we wouldn't bother. However, INTP has to accept the fact that this might be toxic to other people and trying to convey comfort in a way that the other person is open to receiving won't kill you.

- imaging too many 'what if' scenarios and never taking action. That's more of toxic trait to oneself rather than to other people, but it can definitely effect close family and friends. Especially if they don't grow out of it in adulthood.

- giving up too soon because you're not seeing result immediately. Like with sports for example; INTP has Si, and to develop it and to be good physically you have to train it. You can't just Kung Fu everyone just by watching it on TV and never actually trying it for yourself. Either that, or you have to tap into your ENTJ shadow to enjoy physical activities.

- finding excuses. "I'm an INTP so-" "I'm smarter. I don't have to be the same level as-" bitch I don't give a damn what you are. That's just your starting point. What are you gonna do with the tools you have? You're gonna stay an INTP or you're gonna give it a try and develop as a person and tap on your full potential as you should? I'd like you to unleash all that potential and actually do something with it instead of moping around. Thinking you're better doesn't make you better.

ISFJ:

- taking care of everyone but forgetting to take care of themselves. How are you going to take care of me if you are barely standing? I swear every time I ask one of these if they're sad/not feeling well etc they'll say they're just tired or some other lame ass excuse. Like, you're not helping ANYONE by acting like this. We can see right though you.

- lacking boundaries. And this goes two ways. They either let people step over them even when they know what's up. Or- they step on other's boundaries when it comes to privacy matters.

- finding too many excuses for other toxic people and becoming one themselves. "Oh but he didn't mean it like that-" "he's had a rough childhood." I literally do not give a rat's ass. Don't encourage toxic behaviour. Everyone's had it rough yet we're not holding other people accountable for our own happiness. Neither are you, so why are you encouraging them?

- over working. You guys will go far and beyond just to satisfy certain needs by abandoning necessities like sleep for example. I've lost count of how many times I've watched ISFJs work themselves to the bone. Listen here buddy, it's not your job to do literally everything. Treat yourself better, will you? Treat yourself like you treat other people and see the difference.

INFJ:

- being too stubborn in the most inconvenient situations. They'll legit ask you for advice and when you give it to them they'll make an excuse as to why they 'can't do it' and 'why it is a bad idea' and why they should stick to their self pitty instead of taking action. This only last for a while since after their emotions are turned 'off' they'll start thinking logically and actually fix the problem they were encountering. But that whole ass drama is too draining and overall annoying. No one likes that. If you ask for advice and you need time to think about it just say 'thank you' and leave. No need to ask for help and when someone offers to you you say that you can't do it. Or even funnier, that you don't want to do it ??

- you have to learn to ignore other people at some extend. You can not satisfy everyone, keep an eye on everyone, be perfect for everyone etc etc. It literally does not matter what others think about you. Sometimes they're not thinking about you AT ALL. And no people are not looking at you all the time. Please relax. See a therapist if you need to. Tend to your mental health. Find ways to help with anxiety.

- not saying what they want. They'll hint that they want something but won't say what or that they want it in the first place. You just have to guess and then they get sad because you couldn't read their mind.

- complaining and whining while doing a task. They'll literally finish it a few hours later and then realize that it wasn't as bad. Listen bud, you gotta square up.