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simptasia · 2 years

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Hello! Im so sorry to bother but i just got back into Lost again and charlie has given me brainrot especially Trans Charlie and i was wondering if you had any specific hc or things like that? I really love Hurleys and Charlies friendship and i always feel when he finds out he's not only super supportive but also super chill

oh gosh! you're not a bother at all!

i do have specific trans charlie HCs and i never get to talk about this so thank you!

tw: references to trans/homo/biphobia both external and internal. and trans subject matters like transition, dysphoria, surgeries etc

there are many many words under here. so many :)

charlie realised he's trans when he was 5, that is to say, he realised he's a boy pretty much as soon as the concept of Boy could take root in his mind. picture 5 year old charlie walking into the kitchen and loudly announcing "i'm NOT a girl, i'm a BOY" to his parents and liam

the reaction is mostly amusement. liam laughs because he's 7. but yeah i do think his family assumed this was like, a tomboy phase that charlie would grow out of with time. but were still very cool with it. simon notes "i have two boys now ^_^", and megan offers to cut charlie's hair, which he happily accepts, he hated looking like a girl

over time it's clearly not a phase but the notion of charlie = boy, son, brother becomes second nature to the pace family. liam gets in the habit of calling charlie "baby brother" so he doesn't accidently call him his sister and that nickname sticks forever

so basically charlie's family is not transphobic. like i imagine the worse you'd get from these three is ignorant/well meaning comments. (and yes, simon was more bothered by charlie being a musician than him being trans. bless your strange heart, papa pace)

any bigotry charlie suffered in life, both from being trans and bi, was mainly from school and people he met outside of home (like, nasty groupies for example). i imagine he received slurs that typically apply to sapphic people. because his schoolmates assumed he was a butch lesbian. i can see charlie wishing they'd call him the right nasty words

charlie has a vicious combination of confidence and insecurity so theres bursts of "yeah i'm a bloke, i'm bi, what of it" and other times deep internal shame. and he's catholic too so that adds to the uh oh soup. i mention him being bi because i feel that adds to his guilt, like this notion of "even if i'd stayed a girl, i'd still be doing something wrong. i'd still be wrong"

and i think this shame and insecurity ties into his promiscuity, because he has this desperate need to be desired and validated. people wanting him, taking pleasure from him, gives charlie a sense of self worth. same with his need to be useful and have attention, etc, basically all that fucked up charlie jazz (...or punk rock, as it were)

ahem, heh, didn't mean to go down that road but writing meta about charlie is such an easy well for me to fall into. it's a rich tapestry

in regards to hurley. 2004 was a different time (gosh that feels weird to say) but i don't think its out of character to imagine hurley is cool with it. he doesn't fully, like, get it but he's like "that's great, dude" and that reaction is always a relief to get. hurley is the cis straight friend we all deserve. i think there are lost characters who would be weirded out by this or needed it explained to them but hurley is [thumbs up]

okay now an assortment of trans charlie headcanons/notes

teenaged charlie had the whole slouching in baggy shirts thing going on (making him look rather grunge). as soon as it was legal for him to get top surgery, he had it, he hated those things. so he had it done at 18, so by the time of LOST, twas 10 years ago and thus i imagine his scars are almost totally faded. you'd have to get real close and if you did you'd notice they're a tad janky because like, charlie was a poor street busker from manchester, he had to go for a really cheap option but hey it got the job done

he did try wearing a binder (i say binder, it was bandages) but he stopped because it was fucking up his ability to sing. it suits charlie that he'd put his musical ability over his physical well being. so most of the time that he had tits he made do with sports bras

side note: age 12 to 16 charlie was in The Worst Mood Ever. teen charlie makes adult charlie seem composed and rational. just a hormonal mess of anger, rebellion, poor posture, dysphoria, sexual discovery, messy greasy red streaked hair, FUCK THE SYSTEM THE WORLD ISN'T FAIR I HATE EVERYONE. with periods as a cherry on top. i just wanted to put the image of teen charlie in your head. i'm just being condescending for funsies, cuz pouty grumpy charlie is cute, but he really did have a lot to be upset about. teen years were rough for charlie, is what i'm saying, his main sources of joy being music, [redacted] and the few friends he had (liam and the other two members of driveshaft). oh and sweet food

but i digress

he has not had bottom surgery. if you asked him why he'd joke "what and give up multiple orgasms?" but the real reason is that charlie has very powerful drive to become a father one day and part of that desire includes with his own. body. so he's kept all the parts needed for that Just In Case. and yes, doing that would majorly trigger his dysphoria but people aren't always rational, charlie least of all. he's a barrel of conflicting emotions. he has good days and bad days in regards to his lower anatomy

charlie takes T patches. i chose these for practical reasons because he's on an island for 3 months. he wears them under his arm and claire assumes they're nicotine patches until she knows charlie is trans. he's wearing each patch for 3 days or more days instead of 1 day like he's supposed to, in order to make 'em last. charlie is clearly an already moody person, but man the concept that charlie is having hormonal issues too really adds to it

and thats something that i really love about my trans charlie headcanon is that i can think of so many canon things that make it make sense. like, the baby brother thing but also

physically: charlie is short, looks rather different to his brother (rounder face) and is hippier than the average cis man. and also charlie has a tendency to puff out his chest (going the opposite of his terrible slouch days cuz now he's titless babey). these are just aspects of dom that happen to work out well for this

story wise: in the show we only see charlie as a child and a grown adult, as such making it easy to fill in first puberty pre transition teenaged charlie off screen. he's possibly 18 in that desmond flashback so cutting it a tad close but i imagine he's had hormonal arrangements for himself since he was 16. and hormones really are fucking magic. also artistic licence, because at the end of the day i am still talking about somebody played a (presumably) cis guy actor

personality: well, besides the aforementioned hormonal mood swings. okay, the stuff i'm gonna say about charlie is not how i see all trans men. i just think being trans ties into certain aspects of charlie's manner. i mentioned before his desperate need for validation, to be useful, to be loved. charlie is really overcompensate-y, he's trying too hard All The Time, one could see that as him like overperforming masculinity. look, charlie has issues, and its clear as day he really really wants to slot himself into the role of husband, father, provider, protector. not inherently a bad thing and certainly not inherently a trans man thing buuut i think it fits. ties into the idea that most of his life charlie has felt the need to constantly prove himself, and that includes things like: a good musician, a good catholic, somebody who can take care of people he loves, being even worthy of love and. being a Real Man. all wrapped up in one confusing mess of a psyche

nah, i got more, still going. furthermore, i don't think charlie being trans is the only reason he's insecure (a rich tapestry) but what if one of many reasons charlie has his nasty jealousy issues with claire is that he thinks so little of himself that he's deeply afraid claire will leave him for a "Real Man". toxic masculinity hurts us all bro. and its not even like charlie is some kind of hypermasculine dudebro or anything like that (he wears nail polish and eyeliner for one thing. he's punk rock) but some odd harmful attitudes come out in subtler ways

to be clear i don't think charlie doubts he is a man but the human mind can be a total fucktruck and i'll say it again: charlie is insecure

anyways. charlie doesn't have a deadname, he was born charlie and he will die charlie. and another neat thing is that theres nothing in the show to suggest that charlie is a variation on charles. he is simply charlie. his middle name "hieronymus" was added by him though, obviously

he had a dildo/strap on packed with him but it was lost to sea during the crash. rip charlie's cock [plays off key flute version of my heart will go on]

he's not out to the wider public. basically in my version of ~canon~ the only people who know are his family, claire and uhh, well, the dozens upon dozens of people he's slept with (charlie's desire to keep this secret vs charlie's rampant desperate lust: the latter always wins). you would think rumours would spread and you're right! but charlie also spreads rumours, sneaky boy. yeah, i heard that the bass player of driveshaft has a big thick cock. a friend of a friend told me, trust me

basically trashy cringe inducing english tabloids have had some things to say about our dear charlie. which only serves to make the concept seem more unbelievable and silly to people. which, as backhanded as that sounds, works for charlie!

i realised i hadn't mentioned this yet: claire is very cool with this. charlie had never been so nervous to come out to somebody in all his life, because he loves claire so much, but once she understood what charlie was telling her (different time, claire didn't know that trans men existed), she rolled with situation. claire's a sweet girl, she's grown up uninformed about queer stuff (and she's bi but thought she was straight until kate) so i imagine her saying some not quite right things but she doesn't have a bigoted bone in her tiny body

and claire never betrays charlie's trust and keeps his secret forever (yeah at least 50 groupies know charlie's trans but thats not the point. it's the principle of the thing)

so yeah. there's defo more, if i like got into more specific scenarios, but thats the gist of what comes to mind and it was still quite a lot, so! thank you for your time

#nobody can plumb the depths of charlie pace like me #lost headcanons #trans headcanons

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7fckingidiots · 4 years

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Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Trans Male Reader HCs

ty @peachyplays for the request!

A/N: PEACHY SIR I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UHHHHHH but im still alive. i am here. im fine. this is some hcs about before transitioning and during and a lil after bc i feel like after it would just be. pretty normal. uh i did the 5 that appeared in ahwm, excluding heistiplier bc ehhhh. Darkipier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Magnum. Rated T, i think. TW: mention of periods, scars, binding, dysphoria. Yeah. I think that’s it. Enjoy!

Trans Male!Reader HCs

Darkiplier

Doesn’t really care

You have girl parts. Great

He has a century old demonic entity+a pair of twins. You're not special

Tries to be understanding, but mostly just doesn’t address it very much

There’s no need to! He loves you, it doesn't matter to him!

He will try to make you feel comfortable if you start to feel dysphoric

If you menstruate, he deals with it well

Both Damien and Celine would know precisely what to do so…

Heating pad, candy, movies + snuggles

Makes you lay down and hold the heating pad while you wait for the painkillers to kick in

Has a timer for 10 hours and you WILL take your binder off when it goes off

Is not afraid to threaten you over it

You know he doesn’t mean it and DAMMIT MAN YOU’RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF

If you start to take T, he just sits next to you

It might seem like he’s vibrating a little

That’s just the emotion seeping out

It seems like he doesn’t pay attention to your voice

In reality he listens closely everyday for how much deeper it went

You expected him to laugh when your voice cracked

he just asked you to repeat what you said

You appreciated that

He offers to pay for your top surgery if you decide to get it

Whether you say yes or know, he supports you

But he’s also nervous because Surgery

He checks the history of every person who even might be near you

Your surgeon was acting “strange” so he interrogated the poor man

You then explained he was doing his JOB

He squeezes your hand and kisses the back of it before you go into surgery.

The others have to convince him that you are not, in fact, going to Die

When you get out of surgery he stands on the other side of the room, waiting

He looks straight out of a horror movie

You almost scream when you wake up

He steps into the light holding a basket of fruit

He’s been watching a lot of romance movies…

Makes sure you DON’T FUCKING MOVE when you get home

You are going to LAY THERE and HEAL and you’re gonna LIKE IT

Often asks how your scars feel

A little defensive if people ask about them

A bit protective, but pretty much the same as before

Wilford

I don’t… I don’t think he comprehends the situation

I don’t think he knows what you mean, i’ll be honest

I think he just. Loves you. And filters everything else out.

Because unless it changes how you feel about him, it Does Not Matter

He treats you the same way he always does

Which includes being extra clingy and cuddly when you’re feeling bad or dysphoric

If you menstruate he goes into Good Boyf mode

Meaning he absolutely SPOILS you, moreso than usual

Cooks for you, buys you… a lot of things you probably don’t need…

Asks "is it shark week?" and buys extra detergent

You will take your binder off when it's time

You have no choice in the matter

and when you don't he somehow gets it off of you???

I dunno man, he's like. A god. Who knows

He WILL make sure you're safe and healthy whether you like it or not

If you start to take T, he's not allowed at the clinic

He's banned from like. Everywhere.

He always makes sure to say your voice sounds deeper

Even if it's early and it doesn't and you KNOW it doesn't, he says it anyways

He's just being supportive, it's fine

He's a lil nervous if you decide to get top surgery

The idea of someone just straight up cutting you while you're ASLEEP???

hate. bad. no thanks.

He tries to watch through a window but has to give up bc he just starts feeling Bad.

he sits and bounces his leg in the waiting room and plays with a fidget toy you got him

He basically teleports into the room when you're out

The nurse faints because what the FUCK

He just holds his bowl of chicken noodle soup while they're dragged out of the room

You eat and talk for a bit and he just gazes at you bc your voice is so nice

He's very smothering when you get home

Thinks you're gonna hurt yourself whenever you do anything

sit DOWN you dumbass you're gonna TEAR YOUR STITCHES

makes you binge a bunch of movies with him

He doesn't really pay attention, just watches you to see if you need anything

likes to trace and kiss your scars if you let him

Loves you so much <333

Yancy

I mean. He probably doesn't know what you mean

You are? a boy? I don't?

You explain and THEN he understands

He's a lil dumb, it's ok.

He isn't quite sure how to make you feel better when you're dysphoric??

Does he call you manly? Does he completely ignore you? What does he do?!

Eventually he’s settled on awkwardly calling you “Handsome” and “very masculine”

If you menstruate, he panics

He's had a mom before, he knows what it does

He doesn’t know how to make you feel better

He doesn’t wanna coddle you but also he likes feeling like he’s needed

He tries to cook for you but uh. yeah that didn't work out

The cook kicked him out and then made it themself, having Yancy deliver it to you

He convinced the warden to give him painkillers as well, and buys you candy

He’ll make sure you take your binder off when you need to

Might be a little lax, like with a child

“Okay… 30 more minutes. But then yous is takin' it off!”

Doesn’t fully understand the repercussions of you not taking it off

Once he does he literally BEGS you to take it off

Actually started crying one time

If you start T he asks a bunch of questions you probably don't know the answer to

He’s fascinated by how much your voice changes

He bites his lip to not laugh whenever your voice cracks

Once your voice gets like. As deep as it will go he kisses you and says you sound hot

He will panic if you decide to get top surgery

Constantly suggests robbing a bank or robbing a rich person

“There’s some expensive shit that’s been confiscated, i can help!”

When the day actually comes he's on the consistent verge of a panic attack

he can't even like BE there because. prison.

He cries while everyone else has to comfort him for the entire time you're healing

Once you see him again he interrogates you to make sure you're taking care of yourself

A guard lets you two have a little time alone, and you two talk about it

If you let him, he wants to see the result

He gives you a big hug and tells you how much he loves you

Illinois

Probably the only one who actually understands and actually KNOWS shit

though he's too narcissistic to really… like… care

He loves you, but like. If you don’t mention it he doesn’t really feel a need to

He will make sure you’re okay, he knows when you act weird

Other than that he doesn’t actively do much

He says "hey there handsome" or something like that every morning, and that's about it

If you menstruate, he just tosses you painkillers and says there's ice cream in the freezer

I mean. that's pretty much all you need

He will cuddle if you ask, though

Also flirts with you and talks to you more

If you bind, he will be very pushy about it

Will not let you do anything until you take your binder off after the designated amount of time

if he's on an adventure, he calls the others to go to your place and tell you to take your binder off

He knows you won't listen but I mean shit he doesn't want you hurt

If you DONT take it off and have bruises he will straight up blackmail you

Keep doing this, you don't get any cuddles or kisses

Mostly for your benefit bc. bruises. but still

If you start T, he will help, but only if you ask

When your voice cracks he laughs

He apologizes while still laughing

He sleeps on the couch a lot

A little startled after he comes home from an adventure and your voice is deep?? hot???

If you get surgery, he’s relatively calm

He doesn’t like the sounds and smells of the hospital, though.

They weird him out

He’ll kiss you a bunch before you go into surgery and then waits outside.

Probably goes to get some food as well

When you’re out, he sits by you and eats, waiting for you to wake up

He slides an apple over to you and tells you to eat if you feel like it

He does his best to take care of you at home

He knows how to heal, and you need to SIT your ass down

Stays home from adventures while you heal

He doesn’t trust you to take care of yourself

He will not ASK you to take care of yourself he will TELL you because he KNOWS how you are

Stares at your scars sometimes

He doesn’t mean to be rude, they're just… there

He likes them. They’re cool. They’re yours, how could he not?

Tries to be as respectful as he can be

Kisses your scars. Like a lot. Like a LOT a lot.

He has a thing for scars, they’re badass

Captain Magnum

Completely Does Not Understand

At the same time, Does Not Care

Can you shoot? Can you stab? Can you loot? Then you’re perfect

Treats you the same way as the rest of his crew but with a lil more special attention

That attention being calling you rugged and tough

If you menstruate, he recommends hanging out with the rest of them to distract you

He also recommends LOOTING!

You’re pirates, what else would he want from you

Will stop in a town to buy whatever you need, if you ask

But you can probably get something from some other crewmates

If you bind, he won't let you do anything until you take it off when you need to

Think you can trick him bc he doesn't know what's happening?

SURPRISE BITCH HE LOOKED IT UP

ya can't fool the man, he may be stupid but he's not dumb

If you want to start T, he’ll stay in one town for a while.

Understands that you need this, and doesn’t want you to be upset

NO he’s not playing favorites but yes he absolutely is

Doesn’t ask questions, it’s not his business

However, if you explain, he will listen

Will be elated if you steal from the town

He’s still a pirate, and you are still his boyfriend, you had to do something

Makes you sing sea shanties when your voice gets deeper

Better be prepared to sing the chorus alone, even if you’re a shit singer

He just loves to hear it and therefore EVERYONE ELSE will hear it too

If you get surgery, he’s very nervous

He's never really been in a hospital but he thinks it's unnatural

Too white. Too clean. Too much.

Refuses to go in the hospital, but gives you a tight hug before you go in

He then regrets not going in because he misses you a lot :(

Once you're out and can go back on the ship he's very gentle

He's not a gentle man, but he tries

Makes you stay in your quarters and tries to make you comfy

Doesn't really know what to do so let's a crewmate help you

Claims that your scars make you badass! and attractive!

Puts you on the front lines to boost up your confidence

It only makes you nervous really, but you appreciate the effort

168 notes · View notes

enigmasalad · 4 years

Text

Weddings Are Great And All But My Mom Wants You Over For Dinner Tonight

It has been a boring day so far. Deceit was currently typing away on his fifth laptop (his personal one cause the other four are for his “business”). Remus had gotten a last-minute contract from a rather entitled older man who wanted one of his nephews or something killed. So here Deceit was, alone, bored and totally enjoying his day off. And even though he had just planned a “vacation” for them, he couldn’t get rid of the sappy loneliness in his chest. He groaned and shut his laptop because he needed a nap.

He went to their bedroom, a relaxed form of exhaustion seeping into his limbs once he entered the room. He turned his head to where Jekyll and Hyde were. The twin-headed snake was taking a nap after a rather indulgent lunch. Deceit smiled softly at the sweet creature before falling back onto the bed with his arms spread out. As he shut his eyes, he let his mind become passive, letting each thought come and go. With each thought he slowly drifted to that state between consciousness and sleep.

He didn’t know how long he was in this state, but he did know that he was now more on the conscious side. A soft, fond smile graced his lips before he even thought about it. “Hello Remus. How was the hunt today?” he asked.

Just as he thought, an uneven pitched giggle revealed that the crazed man was indeed there. Deceit opened his eyes to meet wide green eyes that were filled with a mischievous joy, the kind of joy a child who stole a toy from a person they didn’t like had. “Boo! I thought I could surprise you this time!” Remus laughed.

“Were you about to jump on me or something?” Deceit asked, raising a brow.

“Yep! You looked so peaceful I thought it would be funny to startle you!”

Remus crawled into bed, still in his lightly bloodied clothes and curled up by Deceit’s side. Deceit moved one of his gloved hands to Remus’s hair and gently scratched the man’s head. Remus let out a low, relaxed noise and snuggled closer.

“Turns out the whole family was in on the kill. They gave me a large tip for not getting the floors bloody!”

Remus paused before laughing.

“Heh! Large tip! Heh heh!”

Deceit rolled his eyes but smiled none the less at the crude joke. He gave a kiss to Remus’s head. Remus perked up and went to go kiss Deceit. Deceit moved his free had to Remus’s mouth to block the kiss.

“Did you dispose of the body?” Deceit asked.

Remus huffed and pouted.

“I did!” “Remus.”

Remus sighed and slumped a little.

“I did not eat the body this time.”

Silence.

“Or anything else from the crime scene.”

“Good boy.” Deceit softly praised.

Remus grinned as Deceit removed his hand and kissed him. Remus immediately and eagerly kissed back. And as usual Remus had to make the kiss filthy the second his lips met Deceit’s. They kissed for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. When they split Deceit decided to tell Remus the news.

“I arranged our little vacation.” Remus grinned and wiggled excitedly, moving Dee with him a little.

“Oh fun! Oh, we can use the blood money to get some things for the trip! Like toys! You know I love take two Ds at once!”

“Damn it Remus.”

——-

“Roman get out of the kitchen.” “What? I just wanted to see what you’re doing! It smells good in here!” “Roman get out of the fucking kitchen I swear to go-don’t touch that!”

“Ow!”

Roman huffed and held the hand Virgil whacked with a wooden spoon. Virgil glared at him and pointed the spoon at him. “Fine, fine! I’ll just go to Patton’s side of the kitchen!” Roman pouted and quickly moved over to where Patton was mixing batter.

Patton giggled as Roman hugged him from behind and peppered his neck and cheek in quick kisses. Roman smiled and looked at where Virgil was making fresh pasta dough.

“You could have this too, but you whacked me with a spoon! Also why are you making fresh pasta when we bought the quick pasta?” Roman had to ask.

Virgil looked at Roman with a deadpan look, stopping the pasta dough making process.

“I’m half Italian Roman. You fucking know this.” He said

“Well sorry for asking. Just figured with the time constraint you put on

Patton laughed again, interrupting

“Your mom makes the best pasta so I’m glad we’re having her recipe!” he praised.

Roman grinned as Virgil blushed and ducked his head down. The argumentative tension instantly vanished. Patton had that kind of amazing power.

“Anyways dear heart, what are you making?” Roman asked Patton, swaying them both gently.

“I asked Imaj what we should have for dessert this time and he asked if we could have brownies tonight so Im making brownies!” Patton replied before tasting the batter.

“Oh fuck yeah.” Virgil said while smiling a little.

The Petrovs love pasta and brownies more than life itself.

Patton and Roman chatted, Virgil putting his input every now and then. They talked about how Ginerva and Rosita were at the store, wondering what they were getting there. Patton brought up how excited his boss, Adam, accepted to come as Patton’s father to the wedding. Adam was Patton’s boss, but the southern man from the Lone Star State was the closest thing to an actual father Patton had. Plus, he paid for Patton’s top surgery out of his own pocket without asking for anything back, so the definitely liked him.

Plus he threatened to shoot them if they ever hurt Patton so..

“Is there anything I can help with?” Roman asked, mainly because he was bored

“No.” “Not really but I’ll let you know!”

Roman placed a kiss on Patton’s cheek before rushing to Virgil and kissing his cheek. He ran out of the kitchen with a laugh as he heard Virgil sputter and went into the living room where Logan was sitting on the couch talking to Missy while Imaj sat near the corner with his ukulele and sheet music.

“-used the blood eagle torture method to sacrifice to Odin and also get rid of people who have no honor in their lives.” Missy was rambling, probably about Vikings.

“You are very knowledgeable about Vikings in..many aspects Missy.” Logan attempted to praise.

It was a little awkward on how it came out but it made the irritable girl grin widely with pride. She pushed her Viking helmet up so it wouldn’t slide over her eyes.

“Well duh.” Is all Missy had to say.

“Hello Tiny! Teaching Logan about Vikings again?” Roman greeted.

Just like that, her smile turned back to her usual irritated frowny face.

“Don’t call me tiny! Im going to rule the freakin world one day! Im not small!” She said, which only made Roman laugh fondly.

He remembered when he had given Missy the nickname. She leapt off the couch and headbutted him in the gut so hard he curled up on the ground. Good..weird...good times.

“And how are you right now Imaj? Still practicing?” Roman asked.

Imaj startled upon hearing his name but he looked at Roman with a soft smile.

“Mhm. I think I got it this time.” He answered quietly.

“Good! Will you be playing it for us sometime soon?”

Just like that, the young teen squeaked with embarrassment and pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head.

“Nooooo..” he quietly whined.

“Alright, alright don’t disappear on me. I’ll leave you alone.”

Roman sat down next to Logan and wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders, pulling the nerd closer.

“And how are you my pocket protector?” Roman asked. “I am well as I can be.” Logan replied.

Ah, Logan was nervous cause this was his first actual family dinner (and the first family dinner they’ve had since all four of them got together). It’s taken him a while to work up to this moment, but they were so proud of him.

Still didn’t mean Logan wasn’t nervous about it.

“You’ll be fine mi amor. You know mama and Mrs. Ginerva love you.” Roman reassured.

“I know this, they’ve made it very apparent.” Logan said with a faint hint of a smile.

Roman smiled and leaned in to give Logan a kiss. Logan huffed a laugh and met Roman the rest of the way.

“VIRGIL YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE BEING GROSS.”

The two men were startled by Missy’s loud shouting.

“I can’t help you right now! Cooking food!” Virgil called back.

“BUT ITS GROSS.” “You’re gross!” “NO YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE GROSS.”

Patton came in, apron gone, and hands washed which meant the brownies were probably in the oven.

“What’s this about being gross kiddo?” he asked. “They’re kissing!” Missy huffed.

“Kissing!” Patton faked a gasp.

Missy nodded and crossed her arms grumpily. Roman watched as Patton came over and put his hands on his hips and gave a disappointed look.

“Boys Im shocked at your behavior. How dare you be kissing-“ Patton then grinned widely. “Without me!” With that Roman’s arms were full of his bubby, kind boyfriend and Logan’s lips were being kissed by said boyfriend. Roman laughed as Missy let out a shriek and stomped to the kitchen. Soon Patton was kissing all over his face to, each kiss slightly ticklish and with an audible “mwah!” sound. They could hear Virgil chuckle from the kitchen. Logan was smiling softly, more relaxed with the ones he cares about near. Patton got up and sat next to the other side of Logan and held his hand tightly.

“I’m happy we’re doing this. I’ve had family dinners before but..they lacked warmth.” Patton admitted.

“That’s one thing our family doesn’t lack is warmth.” Roman said with a grin. “Indeed. You and Virgil have…exceptional mothers.” Logan agreed.

Roman grinned and wrapped around Logan’s shoulders.

“I wasn’t just meaning them my iridescent nebula. You both are part of this family too now.”

“Awwww Roman!!!” Patton squealed.

The sound of the front door opening interrupted anything else that could have been said.

“Booooooys! Missy! We’re hoooome!” Roman’s mother, Rosita sing-songed

“Hi Miss Rosita! Hi Miss Ginerva!” Patton called back.

Rosita giggled and came into the living room.

“Dawww I hope you weren’t mentally scarring poor little Imaj over there.” She said.

Oh shit Imaj has just been sitting there quietly. The thing about that kid besides having almost crippling anxiety is he could disappear from people’s view despite being there.

“Don’t worry Rosita. I don’t mind.” Imaj softly said with a smile. “This is why you’re my favorite.” Roman said.

Immediately there was a loud, high pitched angry “WHAT?” from the kitchen.

Rosita grinned and bent down to kiss Patton’s cheeks, the usual greeting she gives loved ones. Patton giggled and held onto her arms as she went “Mwah!” with the two kisses. She then bent down and did the same to Logan. His face went red as Roman’s varsity jacket, but he sat still and allowed her to do so, because he honestly didn’t hate it. He’s never had any form of parental love and he once admitted he liked the affection the mothers gave him.

“I’m so glad you both are here today. Our first dinner as a whole family!” Rosita cheerily said.

Roman grinned at his loves. They looked happy. Things were normal. This family was normal.

“Well hello my dears. Patton, thank you for making dessert.” Virgil’s mother, Ginerva said as she too entered the living room, holding two rather thick books in her hands.

“It’s no problem! I love baking! Plus, a meal isn’t complete without a sweet!” Patton said.

Ginerva smiled. Then she held up the book with a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Would you like to see some baby pictures after dinner?” she asked.

“Oh my gosh YES!” Patton squealed.

“Absolutely.” Logan agreed, his own grin on his face.

Roman gulped.

Maybe this was a horrible idea.

———-

“Going to the sex store~ We’re going to the sex store~” Remus sang, unashamed as they walked through the mall.

People glared at them as Remus walked next to Deceit, arms swinging back and forth happily. Deceit has once thought maybe he should stop Remus. Here’s the thing though.

He didn’t give a fuck.

These poor bastards can deal with Remus happily singing the lewdest things for a small portion of their lives, even if they weren’t going to the sex store.

A mother gasped, offended and covered her child’s ears.

“Shame on you!” she shrilled.

Deceit flipped her off with both of his hands while Remus held his index finger and middle finger in a V formation in front of his mouth, wiggling his tongue in between the fingers with a wicked grin. The mother shrieked in horror.

Deceit laughed as they left her. However, Remus grabbed his wrist and yanked him back to where Remus was.

“I want that.” Remus said, pointing into an arcade.

Inside the arcade was a claw machine with many stuffed animals. On top of the animal pile was a plush green octopus with tiny black eyes.

“I’m not wasting my money on a rigged game,” Deceit said.

“But Deeeeeeee!” Remus whined.

“that’s why I’m not going to.” Deceit continued, holding up a wallet that totally was his.

Remus grinned widely and held Deceit’s hand as they planned to spend every pound of an asshole’s money.

————

Dinner was good, as usual. Virgil was a phenomenal cook and every dish he made was some of the best Roman’s had (he wont tell mama that though). He blushed as they complimented him.

“This is yummy! What is this called again?” Patton asked.

“Bucatini all’Amatriciana. It’s nothing.” Virgil replied, eyes averted and blush on cheeks.

“I have no idea how to pronounce that but I love it! Logan loves it! Roman does too!”

Roman will deny he was shoveling the pasta into his mouth messily ‘til the day he dies. It never happened. No way. Thankfully he wasn’t the only messy eater in the family, for Missy was doing the same thing, but messier.

“You did good. I’m proud of you.” Ginerva praised with a soft smile.

“Whatever.” Virgil said, faint smile on his face at his mother’s praise.

“So how is the wedding coming along?” Rosita asked with a smile. “We found a venue. It has a garden area that looked rather appealing to us so we’re planning the ceremony will be there. The reception will be inside.” Logan found himself effortlessly saying to Rosita.

Roman was so proud of him and judging by Virgil and Patton’s smiles they felt the same.

Imaj smiled, looking a bit excited at all this wedding talk.

“I like gardens. They’re quiet and yet they’re lively.” He said, his approval and delight making the four men internally sigh in relief.

“Fuck gardens.” Missy grumbled as she stuffed pasta in her mouth.

“Marietta Ursa Petrov, you will not swear at this table. Do it again and you’ll be grounded.” Ginerva warned sternly

Missy huffed but nodded, shoving more pasta to get everyone’s eyes off her. Ginerva turned to Virgil with stern eyes as well.

“You too Mister. I know what a mouth you have.” “Yes mom.”

Roman snickered at the scolding.

“Oh! Remy got us measured for our wedding outfits a few weeks ago!” Patton cheerily said, changing the topic.

“Im so jealous of you boys. Friends with a famous fashion designer and won’t even get me a dress.” Rosita teased.

Roman chuckled.

“Mama he’d freak if he got to make you something. He’s our very own Edna Mode.” He said.

“Good to know! He better not hit me with a rolled-up newspaper or have heavy security in his studio.”

Yeah dinner was nice, but afterwards was downright embarrassing. You see, Roman was convinced Miss Ginerva forgot about the baby pictures. He was so wrong.

Logan and Patton sat on both sides of Ginerva as she pointed to pictures. “-on that Halloween I tried to get Virgil to be a cat or a witch or even Wednesday Addams. Whenever I’d propose an idea, he’d pout. He insisted he wanted to be Elton John for that Halloween, specifically Elton in the Im Still Standing video.”

And for sure there was a picture of a small Virgil standing next to Roman, who was dressed as Hercules from Disney’s Hercules in Elton’s iconic outfit. On the other side of Virgil was a kid dressed as a garbage can who looked almost exactly like Roman.

As embarrassed as he was, Roman smiled to see the picture of Remus, back when the three of them were the best of friends. Innocent.

“Oh, and this picture didn’t turn out the way we wanted it. Rosita sneezed so the boys started crying.”

“I’ve said I’m sorry at least once a year since then Ginerva! Get over it!” Patton giggled at the picture of Virgil in the middle of Roman and Remus in a purple onesie crying. Roman was in a red striped overalls outfit sitting up and crying just as hard. Remus was in the same outfit but green and he fell back as he cried. It was adorable.

“Mom please stop.” Virgil weakly pleaded, hood pulled over his face.

“Hush. They need to see these.” Ginerva said with a laugh.

They avoided pictures of Virgil’s father, who just up and left one day to go back home to Russia without a word. A slightly angry aura surrounded her, but she pushed on.

“Oh, this is Rosita’s favorite!” Ginerva pointed out.

“Is it the play time one? Oh my goodness I love that one so much! Their chubby cheeks and tiny hands aaah!” Rosita squealed with a grin, getting up from the armchair and hurrying over.

“Mama stoooop.” Roman groaned.

Logan gave Roman a look that suggested yes, this was indeed blackmail material. Roman flipped him off, only to be whapped lightly from his mother.

Damn you Logan.

The photo had a “castle” made from cardboard boxes. Inside the castle was a grumpy, if not bored looking Virgil with a plastic princess tiara on his head and a bright pink princess dress over his black sweater. Roman had a plastic crown and pointed a foam sword at Remus, who had devil horns and fairy wings on. That was the closest they could get to a dragon.

Rosita smiled wide, but it held a small bit of sadness. Roman knows, cause he feels the same way.

“Ugh this one?” Virgil grumbled, looking over.

“You guys are adorable! I love your princess costume!” Patton cooed. “It was Roman’s.”

Roman laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

“CUUUUUTE!”

Rosita was telling the story about that day, but Roman found he wasn’t listening. He just stared at Remus in the photo, his grin wide and his hands bared like claws. His eyes filled with his usual mischief. He always wanted to be the villain or the monster. He remembered a time when Remus built a city out of blocks and toy cars and proceeded to stomp through it and making monster sounds, making Roman laugh at his brother’s silliness as he altered between making noises or pretending to be the shrill voice citizens of the town either being afraid or just saying the weirdest thing like “Dang it I left my pudding at home and now my pants are on fire!”.

Memories came rushing. The times they tried to do a secret handshake but could never remember the steps. The times they slept over at Virgil’s home with red and green matching pajamas and sleeping bags. The times they’d fight over the last homemade churro and forced to split it and apologize. When Remus would come to him when he had horrible nightmares of terrible actions his mind told him to do and he’d cry while hugging Roman tightly, who would cry cause his twin was sad. The gap-toothed grin Remus would give him as they planned to do some mischief and even sometimes dragging Virgil into it. Their red and green “brothership” bracelets they wore until they broke.

“Im going to the bathroom. Don’t start dessert without me!” Roman suddenly blurted out, leaving the room and rushing quickly up the steps to the upstairs bathroom farthest away from the stairs.

He locked the door and turned the fan on. He let out a shuddered gasp and pressed his back against the wall.

“You’re fine Roman. You’re fine. You’re with your family, your loves are enjoying themselves. Don’t ruin this for them. You’re fine.”

Suddenly a sob escaped his lips. He couldn’t stop it. Oh god he was a horrible person. A fraud.

He was the one that abandoned the other two members of their little musketeer group just for some ill-deserved attention by horrible people.

He was the one who pushed his brother away, insulting him and ignoring him when Remus didn’t understand what he did wrong.

He was the reason Remus was gone, never able to attend his wedding, to see his loves or be part of their growing family and instead out there doing who knows what. Was he even still alive?

His loves had poor choice in men, since they were marrying him.

His mother was a fool to love him because he was a horrible son.

His fault.

His fault!

A knock interrupted his thoughts.

“Hijo I know you’re in there.”

It was his mom.

“I’m fi-“

“Open the door Roman.” She said, usual sass or warmth in her voice gone.

Roman gulped and unlocked the door. He opened it for his mother to come in. She stepped inside and locked the door behind her.

“Roman, my sweet baby.” She cooed comfortingly and cupped his face, which was wet with tears. “Lo siento mama. Lo siento!” he sobbed, burying his face in her shoulder.’

She stroked his hair as he sobbed and shushed him softly. He gripped her white blouse and sobbed, feeling like a child again, guilty for doing something wrong.

“Lo siento. I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for turning those pictures into sad memories!” he cried.

It felt like a million eyes were glaring at him, a phantom hand was gripping his throat. Harsh voices whispered his guilt over and over and over until he was dizzy.

“Hijo it’s not your fault.” She whispered.

“But mama it is! I’m the reason he’s gone! I’m the reason family dinners feel so empty! I’m the reason I split our family apart!”

“Roman.”

Rosita’s stern voice made him push back to look at her. Her green eyes stared into his blue ones, filled with tears, but held a strong determination and a love he could never comprehend.

“Roman, it’s not your fault. Yes, you’ve made some mistakes, but it’s not your fault.” She said firmly, wiping his tears away with her thumbs.

She sighed shakily and frowned, which was never a good look on his usually happy mother.

“It’s mine.” “Mama how could y-“ “It’s mine because I didn’t do anything. I didn’t guide you to make better decisions back then, like a mother should.”

Roman’s lip wobbled, god he was an ugly crier.

“It’s my fault that I was so focused on fixing Remus because I was scared for him that I didn’t even think about how he felt or wanted. Yes, your brother’s actions were troubling, deeply so, but I did nothing to help him. I did nothing to understand or support him. And now, its my fault for having you endure so much guilt.”

It was quiet for a bit. Too quiet.

“You may never stop feeling that guilt, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry you carried this with you for so long. But honey, I’m so proud of you!” Rosita said with a wobbly grin.

“What?” Roman shakily asked.

“I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and making a change. I’m proud of you for making things right with Virgil. I’m proud of you for being such a hard worker, and an amazing dreamer. I’m so proud of you for being a kind and determined man who puts everything into what he does.”

“And honey, I’m proud of you for being a good lover. For being true to yourself even though its scary. I’m proud of you for saving Patton from those god-awful people and supporting Logan during this dinner cause I know he was nervous. I’m proud that you and Virgil and Patton and Logan love each other so much. That despite polyamorous marriage not being legal here, you all said fuck it, cause love conquers everything.”

Roman whimpered before sobbing again. He may never get over the guilt, but with time he can move on. He was so fortunate to have people who he loves with all his heart, and they love him with theirs. He had the best family and the best friends, even if it was hard to see that at times.

He had the best mother.

————

“Why don’t we break it?” “Remus we need to remain as anonymous as we can.” “Boo!” “Do you want this octopus or not?”

It was their last dollar out of like, three hundred. They took a break ‘cause they got hungry, but they came right back. Remus watched, eyes looking between the claw of the machine game and his love’s concentrated and yet frustrated face. He looked like he was about to scream “YOU LOSE! Good DAY SIR!” in a shrill tone. The claw once again picked up the green octopus. Its floppy tentacles hang limp as the claw started to slowly move over to the little dispenser chute. It suddenly slipped through the claw’s metal arms.

“NO!” they both almost screamed.

Ah, but a miracle has happened! One of the octopus’s tentacles was caught on the claw! The claw moved over the chute and dropped the plushie down into it. “YEAH!” Remus cheered, hearing a startled yelp from someone.

—————

Roman came down with his mom, face clean and no longer blotchy. He smiled as he saw his family still sitting downstairs. They turned to him and Patton grinned, looking relieved. Logan and Virgil just stared at him like he had done something stupid.

“Dude I can’t believe you got your hand stuck in the faucet drain. What were you doing?” Virgil asked.

Roman turned to Rosita, who grinned. Oh, his mom made up an excuse to check on him, which was nice, but still that’s embarrassing. He came up with a lie to not seem like too much of an idiot.

“I was washing my hands when one of mama’s earrings she left by the sink went down the drain! I had to rescue it! It was her favorite pair!”

“Well now that you rescued the earring, we were gonna have brownies and watch Frozen 2! Interested?” Patton proposed.

“Definitely!”

Roman felt so much better. He sat down on the couch with Virgil pressed against his side and Logan’s head on his shoulder. Patton came back with brownies for everyone and gave Roman a peck on the lips as he gave Roman his treat. Rosita and Ginerva argued over how Disney Plus worked, only for Logan to instruct them carefully. As Ginerva got the movie set up, Imaj sat down on the floor with his knees drawn up in between Patton and Virgil, happily nibbling on his brownie. Missy walked over and crawled into Roman’s lap, still looking irritated, but there was a shy plush on her face. He decided not to say anything and just ruffled her hair. She smiled a bit at that. Then, she grinned a mischievous grin that reminded him of when Virgil jump scared them as a vampire last Christmas and..someone he used to know.

“I hope Olaf dies.” She said.

Patton and Rosita gasped in horror as Virgil laughed loudly.

———-

“What are you going to name it?” Deceit asked Remus.

Remus looked at the cute octopus in his hands.

“Can Mr. Squishyboo join your tea party Roman?”

“Yeah, but he can’t poison the tea this time! Ms. Fluffybottom got sick last time!” “Fiiine. Then you can’t call him a squid. He’s an octopus!”

Remus smiled softly down at the octopus’s happy little face.

“Squishyboo jr.” he said.

“Oh thank god. I thought you were going to name it hentai.” Deceit sighed.

“Oh! His full name is Squishyboo jr Hentai Lokir!” Remus laughed loudly.

“Do not use my last name for your stuffed animal.” Deceit huffed.

Remus giggled and kissed his love’s forehead. They walked hand in hand out of the arcade, past Pac-man games and children giggling and playing ski-ball. They were near the entrance when a man with a pink Sailor Moon T-shirt stopped them for a moment.

“Oh my stars I love your Invader Zim crop top sir!” he said, Irish accent prominent.

“Thank you! I love your anime titty lady!” Remus greeted back as they left, Deceit snickering and squeezing his hand with affection.

——-

The man just blinked for a moment before noticing his phone was ringing. He smiled and answered it.

“Heeeey babe! How’s your like, family reunion going?” a voice spoke from the other end.

“ ‘ello Remy. Its going fine! Mum, Mama and Dad want you to come next year!”

“Maybe I will go. Like, making wedding stuff is okay, but like, when its for your friends, it sucks. Like, I know im the best bitch in this business, but it has to be so perfect they cry.”

“You are the best Remy. They wouldn’t ask you if you weren’t”

A laugh on the other end.

“This is why I love you Emile, my little piece of Picani pie.”

Emile Picani giggled.

“So, what are you doing now?”

“I’m about to set a high score on the DDR machine. I saw they had some Miku songs and I wanted to try them!”

“Fuck yeah Miku. Hey, face time me so I can see you like, totally shame on everyone’s scores.”

94 notes · View notes

nothorses · 4 years

Note

Thank you for your kind response, but I wanted to clarify because I have a body discrepancy, but what I feel most awful about is that it Does have to do with my gender. I wish I was amab, I wish I couldve transitioned, I dont relate to cis womanhood, but I do trans womanhood. I want those transfem experiences, but I also know about transmisogyny and I feel bad for wanting to present as and be percieved as transfem, I feel like Im being fetishy and im stealing something that doesnt belong to me.

You dont have to post the last ask about the transfem thing, I know it's a controversial subject. Im in anon but I'm still nervous about backlash lol. Thank you for giving me a space to vent it, though. Gender is, really weird, and I know I've felt this way for a long time, but then I found the backlash against "circumgender" and it acted as one of the biggest pushes in me recloseting myself. Please dont think less of me for feeling this way, and wanting certain things even if it is wrong, lol

I mean it’s tough, because the defining feature of being a trans woman or a trans man is that you are assigned the other binary sex at birth. Trying to use those terms when that isn’t what you are might not necessarily be damaging, but it is going to be confusing and contradictory to what the words were created to describe and understand.

That’s still your choice, it’s just one you’re going to have to make knowing that what you’re trying to communicate with those words is not going to be what folks interpret them to mean.

I also know I have felt more like my gender is “trans man” vs just “man”, especially right before I first started transitioning. I wanted to be “clockable”, I liked the idea of top surgery scars, I liked the idea of bottom growth- almost more than any concept of being born AMAB.

I don’t know if that’s just one more thing my brain has done as a compromise between my current state and what I actually want, or if I’m just bad at wanting things I physically can’t have, especially since those wants have changed since then. But there it is. I kind of get it.

Idk! I think gender is weird, and I’m not really here to gatekeep about it. Imo, it’s worth analyzing those feelings a little- asking where they come from and why, and maybe looking into other nonbinary labels and experiences to see if those resonate with you.

I’d also really encourage you to seek out transfem voices, or seek out more of them, if you can. I can’t speak to their experiences, but I can say that from a trans male perspective, I personally feel that a perisex AMAB person generally cannot understand trans manhood in the same way that the people the word was created to describe can.

There’s gonna be a lot of different opinions out there for a lot of different reasons, but imo, you can never have too much insight into those perspectives when thinking about something like this.

Good luck! It’s tough stuff to think about and work out, and it sucks to feel like you don’t have a way of talking about it without judgement, too.

#trans #transgender #Anonymous

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starryknightace · 5 years

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I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

[[MORE]]

Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

#top surgery #ftm #transition #transgender #mascetomy #surgery #post surgery #gender transformation #gts #gender transformation surgery #tumblr dont shoot me there are no nip nops and no mentions of milk sacts flesh #long post #long read #under the cut #double mascetomy #double incision

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malafight · 5 years

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Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

#life update #drugs tw #body horror tw #surgery

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quickeningheart · 5 years

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Twelve

There was a drawn-out silence as the mice and Chex sized each other up. After a moment, Throttle cleared his throat, stepping forward. "I'm sure you must be mistaken, Citizen," he began, attempting nonchalance. "We're just three normal bros, getting our bikes looked over by—"

"Oh, give it up," Chex snorted, crossing her arms. "I'm not an idiot. There's nothing wrong with my eyeballs. And those helmets don't render you invisible, so you might as well take 'em off. I don't know who you think you're fooling. If alien mice doesn't explain all the fur, then my next guess is the evolutionary Missing Link. Or very short Yeti."

Alley stifled a laugh, and Throttle shot her an annoyed glance as he slowly pulled his helmet off. Vinnie and Modo followed his lead.

"Well, damn," Chris said softly, eyes wide.

"Told you," Chex replied, looking smug. She practically vibrated where she stood, she was so excited. "Man, I can't believe they've been here all this time. The club's gonna flip when I tell 'em I got to see them face to face!"

"Club?" Throttle repeated, frowning.

"It's some little forum she joined," Chris explained. "For people who think they've been abducted by aliens or some weird shit like that."

"Shut it, butt-head." Chex delivered another punch to his arm. "That's not what the club's about." She turned back to the mice. "You've saved a lot of people in Chicago since you've been here, right? Well, some of those people started an online forum to socialize and share experiences. Hypothesize about why you're even here. Stuff like that."

"And … you're one of those people," Throttle guessed.

"Sure am." Chex nodded at Modo. "Big Gray there saved my life awhile back."

The mouse straightened, startled by the sudden attention. "The name's Modo," he corrected. "Modo Maverick."

"Maverick, huh?" Her smile widened. "I like that. Totally a hero's name."

Modo beamed as Vinnie whistled and nudged him in the side.

"So what happened to you?" Charley wanted to know.

"There was some big skirmish downtown about three years ago. Felt like an earthquake or something. Total chaos, people running around, screaming like a buncha lunatics… And I remember there was this really weird whining. Sounded kinda like a drill, but deeper and a lot louder."

"Hey, I remember that!" Vinnie cut in. "Wasn't that when Limburger decided he was gonna dig under the big shopping center?"

"Yeah, he was lookin' for something. Anybody ever figure out what that was?" Modo asked, scratching his head.

"Who cares? He goes out an' makes with the boom-boom, we go in an' stop 'im. That's all we need ta know." Vinnie punched his fist into his palm with a wicked grin.

Chex huffed. "Yeah, well, I happened to be in that shopping center when it was all goin' down. Everything was crumbling around me and all the exits were getting blocked off. Some guy bowled me over, and I got my leg pinned. I was trying to pull free, and then these loud cracks went off right over my head. Sounded like a buncha gunshots. I thought someone had opened fire on top of everything else. So I looked up, and the freakin' wall's about to topple over." She shuddered, rubbing her arms. "I won't ever forget what that felt like, watching that slab of concrete falling in slo-mo right on top of me."

"So what then?" Alley asked, wide-eyed.

"Well, I sure wasn't goin' anywhere. When that asshole shoved me, I fell into the rubble and knocked something loose. Big chunk fell right on top of me. My leg was good and pinned. Hurt like hell, too. I just sorta buried my head in my arms and prayed I'd die quick, and I wouldn't end up buried alive or be laying there in agony for days wondering if anyone'd find me. I might've screamed, I guess. I don't really remember." Chex shrugged. "Someone heard something, though, 'cause when I figured out I still wasn't dead, that's when I looked back up and saw this huge gray … person standing over me, hefting that slab of concrete like a piece of paper. Just tossed it aside with his bare hands! And then he grabbed the big chunks pinning me down and tossed them, too. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and there was all this fur and metal and big ears … and then he started talking to me, asking if I was okay. And all I remember thinking is he was the biggest damned hamster I'd ever seen."

"Aw, c'mon!" Vinnie protested, tossing his hands in the air. "They never get it right! Why don't they ever get it right?"

"We're mice, ma'am. Just for future reference," Modo rumbled, mouth quirking.

"Well, sure, I can see that now," Chex snorted. "Waddaya want? I'd just lived through my first near-death experience. Sorry if I was a little delirious."

"Least you didn't call him a rat," Alley teased. "They hate that."

Modo rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Seems I recall findin' a little girl pinned down, 'bout to be squashed flat. Your leg was busted up pretty bad, wasn't it? I pulled ya loose an' dropped you off at the ambulance outside. You were bleedin' out pretty heavily."

"Yeah." Chex nodded. "The femur bone was snapped in two places. And my tibia was broken so badly the bone ripped clean through the skin. Scary shit. I ended up in surgery and the hospital for two months, a full-leg cast another two months after that. Took a lot of therapy just so I could walk again, too." She pulled up her ripped legging, showing off a long, jagged scar that started at the middle of her calf and ran up under the material covering her upper leg. "Ends at the thigh. Pretty cool, huh?" she said proudly.

Modo whistled. "Impressive battle scar. You doin' okay now?"

"Sure. Leg still aches when the weather changes, and I won't ever win any marathons or anything, but I can walk, and even more importantly, I'm not a greasy smear on the pavement." Chex approached him, gray eyes searching his face as she took his metal hand into both of hers. He blinked down at her, nonplussed; it wasn't often a human willingly touched him, after all. "Like I said, I was really out of it back then, and I don't even remember if I thanked you," she told him sincerely. "So I'm saying it now. Thank you, Modo Maverick. You're a really good person. And I'm glad I can tell you that face to face."

Modo squirmed, ignoring the catcalls and whistles from his comrades as he smiled awkwardly down at her, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, it wasn't anything, ma'am," he mumbled, flustered. "Just doin' my job and all that."

Chex seemed to recall their audience then, quickly dropping his hand and stepping back, hooking her thumbs through the belt loops of her checkered skirt with a self-conscious shrug. "Yeah, well, just sayin'. Thanks," she mumbled, ducking her head. Her face was nearly as red as her hair. After a moment, she straightened up, affecting her usual aloof attitude. "Anyway. That's how I found out about alien mice. I had to know who you were, so while I was recovering, I started searching around on the net, looking for … I dunno, info on mutant rodents in the subways or something." She smirked at Vinnie's snort of disgust. "That's when I found the forum, and figured out there were others who'd been saved by giant talking, bike-riding mice, and there it is."

"And there it is. Gotta love social media. So much for covert operations."

All eyes turned to the black-clad figure coasting into the garage on a sleek black racer, taking in the scene from behind the visor of a wing-eared helmet.

Chris straightened up, surprised. "Hey! You're—"

"Yep. I'm," Stoker grunted, pulling the helmet off to meet his gaze with shrewd eyes. "And you're the whelp who stuck with our Alley Cat the other night. Thanks for that, kid."

"The name is Chris. Christopher Archer. And my sister is Constance."

"Chex. Call me Constance and I'll be forced to cut your tongue out," the redhead mumbled. "Cool bike, by the way. That's like … super stealth bike or something. I didn't even hear the engine."

"That's 'cause I turned it off," Stoker said with a chuckle, dismounting and rolling the bike over to Charley. "She needs a checkup, if you get the chance. Maybe some oil. Had a bit of a bumpy ride gettin' back."

"Run into some problems?" Charley asked.

"Just a few random goons out lookin' for trouble. Nothin' I couldn't handle. But they did get in a few shots to my ride here. Think one of 'em might've taken out the suspension."

"Poor baby. I'll have you fixed right up," Charley crooned, petting the dusty crankshaft affectionately. And damned if the bike didn't rumble right back.

Alley blinked. "Did … did that thing just purr at you?"

Charley laughed. "I did tell you Martian bikes are equipped with AI, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I seem to recall something about that. I just didn't—They actually respond to you? Like, they can understand what you say?" Alley looked the bike over with new appreciation.

"That is the general definition of artificial intelligence," Charley deadpanned.

"Wow. Real AI. How cool is that?" Chex crouched in front of Modo's bike. "Hey, if you can understand me, honk or something."

There was a moment of silence. Then a short, sharp beep sounded, startling Chex into falling back onto her rear. She gaped for a second, then laughed. "That is wicked! Where can I get one?"

"Forget it, Short Stack. Dad'll never let you get a motorcycle," Chris scoffed.

"I'm eighteen. He doesn't really have a say in the matter," she tossed back, hopping to her feet. "Hey, will you give me a ride?" She grinned up at Modo, who sputtered for a response.

"Chex, we're here to see Alley, remember?" Chris sighed.

"Oh, well, she could come along."

Alley's eyes widened. "Uhhh … no thanks. I've seen how these guys drive those things around. I'm rather attached to my life. I'd like to keep it, if it's all the same to you."

Chex laughed. "Wuss."

"If by 'wuss' you mean 'possessing a healthy dose of self-preservation', then yes. I am a huge wuss," she sniffed, smoothing down her skirt.

Beside her, Stoker chuckled low in his throat. "We'll have to work on that," he murmured, smirking down at her.

She pulled a face at him. "Where the hell have you been skulking around, anyway?"

"You miss me? I'm touched." He flashed a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, sure." She waved him off. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Aw, honey, go easy on an old mouse's ego."

"Sir, your ego is indomitable. I'm sure nothing I say will make a dent," she huffed, a smile twitching around her lips despite her best efforts to remain stern.

He noticed, leaning in with a sly smile, eyes lidded as he prepared to turn up the charm.

Only Alley suddenly wasn't there anymore, having been pulled out from under his nose by Chris's grip on her arm. He straightened, glaring at the intruder. "You mind? We were having a private conversation."

Chris winced at the venom in his tone but, as before, refused to back down. He turned to Alley. "Listen, Chex and I have to be back at the dorms in a few hours. We promised our parents we'd have dinner with them tonight."

"You promised them," Chex corrected.

He ignored her. "Anyway, if you wanted to go shopping for a new phone, maybe have something to eat and do a little sightseeing downtown, we'd probably better leave soon."

"Oh. Sure, lemme go grab my purse. It's upstairs," Alley replied, shooting him a grateful smile as she turned to flee the garage.

"Cock-blocked!" Vinnie sang under his breath as soon as she left, earning himself a whack across the head by Stoker's palm and muffled sniggers from Modo and Throttle.

"And speaking of phones…" Stoker's tail whipped around and plucked the smartphone Chex had been using to covertly snap pictures neatly from her fingers. "Ah-ah. None of that now," he scolded, not unkindly, as he browsed the files.

"Hey!" she yelped. "Give that back! What're you doing?"

"Just a little damage control." He navigated the touch screen with ease before tossing the gadget back to her.

She hastily checked it over, jaw dropping. "You deleted them! You deleted everything! All of my info … my videos! Do you know how hard it was to get some of this stuff?" she lamented.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Stoker deadpanned, not looking sorry in the least. "No offense, Red, but I don't fancy having our ruggedly handsome mugs plastered all over the internet. Makes it real hard to work when you've got people out hunting you down for a celebrity snapshot. Kindly refrain from future endeavors."

Chex pouted. "What's wrong with wanting to show Chicago that we've got our very own superheroes protecting us from the mafia? The cops sure as hell don't do anything about it."

"Oh. Uh…" Alley offered a sheepish grin as she descended the stairs, having overheard the conversation. "Yeah, about that mafia story I fed you…"

Chex's eyes widened. "No way. Is Limburger an alien, too?"

"Something like that."

"Awesome!"

"Not really, no." Alley shot her a funny look. "He's trying to strip-mine the planet, starting with Chicago. There's nothing remotely awesome about it."

"Is that why he wants the school?" Chris asked. "He wants to rip it apart?"

"Likely. It's sitting on a choice piece of property," Stoker grunted. "Lots of resources to ship off to Plutark."

"Is that his planet? And that's why you guys are here. To stop him from doing it?"

"Yep."

"But why?" Chex asked. "I mean, this isn't your home. Why are you risking your necks for a world that doesn't even know you exist?"

"Because the Plutarkians are a disease that need to be wiped out," Modo growled, eye glowing. "They started with our planet Mars, and nearly demolished our entire race. Earth is next on the list, and unlike Mars, it doesn't have the kind of defenses needed to beat 'em off."

"And once they're through with this dirt ball, they'll move on to the next," Throttle added. "Just like a huge, smelly swarm of … waddaya call 'em? Locusts?"

"We do have nuclear weapons," Chris said doubtfully.

"Hah! The stinkfish live off that sorta thing!" Vinnie scoffed. "Toxic waste and radiation and destruction … they eat it for breakfast. A couple of nuclear bombs wouldn't even slow 'em down."

"Yeah, all you'd be doin' is helpin' em rip up the planet that much faster," Modo added, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

The twins exchanged glances. "The government—" Chris started.

"Is next to useless," Stoker cut him off with a snort. "They can't do anything we're not already doin'. Besides, it'll just come back to nuclear warfare and vaporizing their own planet in a useless attempt to get rid of the Plutarkians."

"Yeah, and then they'll probably turn around an' use the same methods on us," Vinnie grumbled.

"That's true," Charley agreed with a sigh. "I don't think Earth is ready for the knowledge that 'little green men' actually exist." She chuckled when Vinnie huffed, tweaking his ear. "Don't worry, you're all much cuter than E.T.," she teased.

"And about time you admitted it, Babe," he replied, crossing his arms smugly. But he was blushing under his fur.

"What I don't get," Alley cut in, "is how they don't already know. I mean, people are talking about you guys online, and Chex probably isn't the only one who's tried to take pictures and videos. Right?"

"Oh, sure." Chex shrugged. "Media gets posted on various sites all the time. The problem is, it never stays posted. It's like the moment new footage appears, the site goes poof for a few minutes. When it comes back online, all the footage is gone. Happens every time. The Mouseketeers think—"

"The Mouseketeers?"

Chex laughed at the disgust written across four furry faces. "It's what the forum folk call themselves. Don't look at me like that, I didn't come up with it!"

"Well, come up with somethin' else," Vinnie grumbled. "That name's just embarrassing!"

"Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that." Chex rolled her eyes. "Anyway, the general theory is the government is responsible for getting rid of the evidence. Keep the knowledge of alien warfare happening right under our noses from getting out to the general populace. Hold off the world-wide panic it'd cause. In the meantime, hope the two species end up wiping themselves out nice and neat, and save taxpayer dollars by not having to send in our own military to finish the job."

"And they're not at all worried that two alien species with superior technology battling over our planet might end up, I dunno, completely obliterating it instead?" Alley asked skeptically.

"Hey, I did say it was a theory."

"And that's all it is," Stoker put in, shaking his head with amusement. "Sorry to burst your conspiracy bubble, but none of Earth's governments are responsible for keepin' this invasion under wraps. Mars has been monitoring your satellites for decades. Any evidence of alien species that pops up is immediately eliminated, especially Martian and Plutarkian. Can't risk having our own civilization exposed trying to save yours, after all."

"You can't possibly silence everyone who finds out about you," Chris argued. "What about the probes we send up?"

"Bah. Inferior Earthen technology. Easily compromised," the mouse snorted. "As for the rest, well…" He tapped one of his antenna. "These ain't here just for show, ya know. We have ways."

"What do you mean?"

"Memory wipes," Throttle grunted, mouth twisting with distaste.

"You can do that?" Charley asked, startled. Clearly, this was news to her.

"Not all of us," Vinnie told her. "Only a few 'specially powerful empaths are trained for that sorta thing. Ain't easy, and fiddlin' around with another person's brain is pretty frowned upon. I mean, one wrong move an' you've got a drooling vegetable on your hands."

"Luckily we have little cause to employ such techniques," Stoker added, expression grim. "But there's been a time or two when the wrong person discovered us, and we've been forced to go in for a little … mental rewiring."

"And by 'we', do you actually mean you?" Alley asked. Stoker didn't answer. But his silence spoke volumes. She frowned. "Have you ever … made a wrong move?"

"No," he replied firmly. "But my predecessor did, with another empathic race from the Quantrum Sector."

"The what now?"

"Another galaxy. You wouldn't have heard of it. That was a bad job. Pretty much the guidelines of what not to do when attempting a mind-wipe. Not only scrambled the poor bastard on the receiving end, but his own brain, as well. That's when I was pulled in to take over his position by the army. This was back before the Freedom Fighters, of course. When I was just a young punk, barely older'n Rimfire." He nodded at Modo.

"You never told us this before, Stoke," Vinnie said, sounding awed.

"Ain't somethin' I like to talk about," he replied. "Not a part of my life I'm particularly proud of. For the greater good or not, there's no honor in wipin' another person's mind. Especially when you're never told why you're doin' it in the first place. Toward the end, before I defected, I had my suspicions that the government was gettin' a little corrupt. They were sendin' us in more 'n more often to 'take care of things'. I suspect it was to keep control over an increasingly disgruntled population, when Plutark stepped in an' started buyin' up Martian property."

"And that's why you formed the Freedom Fighters," Throttle finished.

"Yep. That about sums it up. Somebody had to protect what was left of our people. We're all they had left."

"Your own government sold you out?" Alley asked softly.

"Money is power, honey. Even on other planets. Corruption is a universal problem." Stoker glanced at Chex with a raised eyebrow. "And you might consider tellin' your online buddies to start bein' a little more careful what they slap up on their sites. I may not be one of the army's guard dogs anymore, but that don't mean I've forgotten what to do. And there're still more guard dogs who ain't as nice as me, either. You annoy the wrong people or become a big enough threat, you just might find yourselves on the wrong end of Martian antenna."

Chex gulped, face paling under her makeup. Even Chris looked a little green around the gills.

"Great. Well, now that you've finished terrifying my friends, I think it's time for us to go," Alley muttered, starting toward the Caprice.

"Hold up, there!" Charley snagged her by the back of the shirt as she passed, bringing her up short. "Just so you know, you 'n me are gonna have a talk when you get back."

"What'd I do?"

Charley shot her a look. "Guess."

Alley's brow furrowed. "Oh, what, you're pissed 'cause I was worried about you? That's gratitude."

"Do you honestly believe that's why I'm upset?"

The cousins stubbornly faced each other down, before Alley conceded defeat, shoulders slumping. "Okay, okay," she grumbled. "You can bust my chops when I get back. Just lemme get these two out of your hair first." She stomped to the twins, who were now waiting in the car.

"What was that all about?" Chris asked as she opened the passenger door and slid in.

"Somebody in trouble?" Chex teased from the back seat.

Alley waved off their questions. "Don't worry about it. Right before you arrived, we were having a … family discussion of sorts. I might've said a few things I shouldn't have in front of a few people I shouldn't have… She's a little steamed about it."

Chex hummed. "Wanna hide out in the dorms for awhile until the storm blows over?" she offered. "I could probably stuff you under the bed."

Alley laughed. "Thanks, but I'll take my licks like a good little soldier, and pray Charley doesn't decide to send me packing back to Florida."

They drove in silence for a few minutes, before Chex leaned forward, draping her gloved arms over the back of the bench seat. "Hey, you think that Stoker guy was serious about the whole, you know, mind-wipe thing?" she asked.

Alley shrugged, poking through the cassette tapes Chris had stashed in a worn shoebox on the seat between them. "Dunno why he'd lie about it. He's a trained soldier, and from what I've heard, he's got some mad skills on the battlefield. Like, a four-star general or something. The mice do have some sort of telepathic ability. I guess some could be strong enough to erase memories." She chose a cassette and shoved it into the player; Queen's These are the Days of Our Lives blasted over the speakers. "Oh, I love this song!" She began to sing along.

Chex shifted impatiently. "But, like, do you think he'd really do it?" she pressed.

"I dunno. Maybe. Why do you want to know?"

Chris snorted. "She probably wants to go tell all her little forum buddies where they can find them. She never could keep a secret."

"Shut up," Chex grumbled, slumping back in her seat.

Frowning, Alley turned around in her seat. "Look, I can't say what Stoker may or may not do, but I can tell you that all four of those guys are way protective of Charley. They consider her one of theirs, and they'll fight tooth and nail to defend their own. If you go blabbing their location around and end up putting her or her garage in danger, getting mind-wiped will be the least of your worries. You've already seen Modo in action. Do you really wanna risk pissing off a bunch of trained rebel soldiers who can heft concrete walls with their bare hands?"

Chex didn't have much to say on the matter after that.

Alley could only hope she wouldn't have much to say on the matter at any future time, either.

#bmfm fanfiction #BMFM #Main cast #OCs #humor #romance #adventure

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years

Text

and wrapped your arms around my neck - nsfw

Pairing: Reader x Seokjin

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: Vamp!Jin if you squint and then close your eyes entirely, this is 90% just sex yall

Part of you wants to see his expression, to gauge whether he’s weirded out by your hyper-sensitive neck. The other part of you wants to stay still and be good with the hopes that he’ll keep playing with you until your toes are curling in ecstasy.

You settle for something in the middle instead.

“How long have you been thinking about doing this?”

Based off this ask:

A/N: I’m so so so sorry this has been in my askbox for so long! When I got this I was a week into pre-finals and I wrote it really quickly thinking I would read it over and then send it out before finals but... Im just sending this out today w/o edits... Anon, I hope you didn’t lose hope!! Here you go!

Today marks the 3rd week that you showed Jin the surgery scar on your neck. It had been bugging him ever since, but not in the way that you had worried about, which was why it took three weeks for you to slip up and show your neck to him in the first place.

No, Jin hadn’t really thought much of the scar until he realized after watching more attentively how sensitive it made your neck. Being one of the few tens of thousands of people left who are descendants from the original 7 blood-drinkers didn’t ever seem to affect him until now. All of the sudden he was obsessed with your neck and the scar. It would have made his father ashamed how cliche he was being. But he couldn’t help it.

The first time he realized he might have a problem, he wasn’t even sober. A little after you and he matched on Tinder, you and he had decided to introduce your friend groups and hang out at a bar. He remembers very hazily watching you and your friend Yuna chat up the bartender to finagle a free round of drinks for your table.

From what he’s managed to gather, Yuna has always been the touchy type-- especially when she’s inebriated. So when she slung her arm over your shoulder and missed, her hand slid down to rest at the space between your bare shoulder blades.You bent over the counter to give the bartender the impression you cared about his story about the onion tattoo on his elbow while Yuna’s hand wriggled up to lay at the base of your neck. The squeal you’d let out was loud and shrill, making Jin’s eyes snap open a bit in confusion. You shrugged her hand off and moved to collect the drinks Yuna got and turned back to the table. Jin wanted to ask if you were okay, but Yoongi handed him beer, breaking his train of thought.

The second time had been the day of your 1month anniversary of being exclusive.

Jin, being the hopeless romantic that he was, insisted that you make a day of it and go out to eat. You, being the broke master’s student that you are, said it had to be a place where you could potentially pick up the tab for the whole meal and not be set back. You compromised by eating at one of the cleaner outdoor tables at a nearby off-campus Wendy’s. He’d made a big deal about taking you out like it was going to be a surprise bistro. When you took off the blindfold he gave you and saw where you were, you’d attempted to put him in a headlock, but he was too tall and his shoulders were too broad for you to get the right grip.

After a hearty meal of chicken tenders and french fries, Jin shakily pulled a rather expensive necklace (real silver, because you told him your skin was sensitive once) out of his pocket. He’d tried to be extra and push your hair off your neck and put it on for you, but once his fingers accidentally skimmed your neck you shrieked just like you had at the bar and shot away from his grasp, banging the crown of your head against his chin. You blew him in the parking lot as an apology after you put the necklace on yourself to make up for injuring him, but his ego still hurt.

He’d tried asking you about it once. It went something like:

“How come you always do that?”

“Do what,” you’d asked.

You wrinkled your nose at the smell of the smoke filling room. Yoongi’s parties were notorious and you were definitely grateful for the invitation but he needed a new dealer because his green smelled like shit. Jin reached a hand over to play with the loose hairs that didn’t fit in your ponytail and you unconsciously leaned away.

“That,” he tried again and you ducked again, “How come you always do that?”

“What are you talking about?”

You looked genuinely confused and that’s when Jin realized maybe he would need to approach things differently.

Today he would do just that.

“Lie down for me. On your stomach.”

You blink owlishly at Jin’s request, you hands freezing in the middle of putting you hair in a bun to save your neck from the sticky summer heat. Jin, on the other hand, seems completely serious and completely comfortable with the situation as he gazes at you from the other end of the couch.

“W-what for?”

“I just want to try something,” he says. When you fail to budge he adds an imploring “Please?” You gape at him again. Jin hadn’t said please since date #2.

“If you stick your thumb in my ear again after you’ve licked it, I’m calling the police.”

“That was one time,” he gripes, “Besides, that’s not what I’m gonna do.”

He gets up from his spot on the couch to give you room to stretch out. The feeling of warm leather cushions on the skin of your arms and legs doesn’t exactly feel good as you lay across the couch. But you’re a sucker for Jin, despite the fact that he’s a brat 90% of the time.

“What are you gonna do,” your voice is muffled from speaking into the upholstery.

“I told you, I just want to try something. Just promise me you won’t scream,” he says, his tone dripping with smugness.

“Why the hell would I--”, you feel Jin gingerly grip the ends of your hair and move it to lay piled on the crown of your head, his fingers splayed across your scalp to hold the locks in place. “Jin?”

"Hmm?” He hums in response and you feel couch dip with the weight of him situating himself to straddle you.

He reaches out and lightly swipes a fingertip across the smooth scar tissue that travels across the nape of your neck. The resulting deep shiver you give brings a slow, dark smile to his face and he can’t help but chuckle. Fucking finally, he thinks.

You settle for something in the middle instead.

“How long have you been thinking about doing this?”

He rewards you by blowing a small gust of cool air against the clammy skin. Its a nice break from the balmy air.

You’d had the scar for a while, and although you weren’t uncomfortable with it when you were by yourself, other people’s aversion to it influenced you to keep it covered by your hair or clothes most of the time. You thought that since you’d started dating Jin a few months ago he hadn’t managed to figure out what you’d been hiding. Apparently not.

“Wendy’s,” he says, leaving you with not even enough time to let out a ‘what the fuck’ before he invades your space.

He leans down until he’s close enough to inhale the scent of your skin. It smells of clean sweat, lotion, and soap. If you asked him how he felt about the smell on any other person, he’d probably say that he didn’t have any feelings about it. But with you and your neck...its delectable. And he has the sudden urge to use his teeth. Perhaps its the 3% blood-drinker in him, he muses. He probably just has a neck fetish, though.

The plush feeling of the tip of Jin’s nose running along your neck while he settles comfortably on top of you is almost relaxing. Its not enough, though and it leaves you feeling restless enough to wiggle impatiently. He responds by pinning you more firmly to the sofa. His free hand is large and too warm as it wanders up the side of your torso and pulls down the collar of your t-shirt to make more of a landing strip for him. Soon after, his tongue licks a stripe up the skin he just exposed, stopping just below your hairline before going back down to the scar and laving neatly at it.

“Oh my god, Jin.” you whisper. Your voice is small, like being trapped in your throat with all the little gasps he’s wrung out of you so far was enough to call it quits entirely.

“Too much?” He selfishly hopes you say no.

“No, just keep--shit.”

With your permission, he begins to grind against the thigh he’s laying over. He times each swipe of his tongue to the rhythm of each hip swivel. Each choked off gasp you emit eggs him on further until he nips roughly at the skin without thinking. You gasp at a pitch different from before and he shifts to give you a little more space.

“Sorry, is this okay?”

“Jin, please, its fine. Please. Just-just touch me, okay?”

“Yeah. Fuck yeah.”

He renews his efforts, but this time remembers to wriggle a hand between you and the couch cushions so he can stick his hand up your shirt. He tries to pinch your nipple like he knows you like, but the angle is awkward. It must still work though because soon you’re also snaking your hand down to rub yourself through your underwear. It makes him throb in his pants and suddenly he wishes he had taken his pants off before trying this, but he’s in too deep now. Every time he humps down against the flesh of your thigh you arch upwards into him and press against his length. The constant friction is just on the right side of painful and he’s so certain he’ll come any minute. With that thought he abandons the tight grip he’d developed in your hair and uses both hands to roll and pluck at your nipples. You adjust the angle of your wrist, though its tricky, so you can grind your clit against your palm and crook your fingers deeper against your walls. Everything is wet and sticky and it should be uncomfortable but its not and then Jin moans, high but quiet, in your ear and the pressure in your core seems to snap. You shake as your orgasm overtakes you and sob into a throw pillow as your toes tingle with warmth.

Jin clumsily turns you over, all the while mumbling ‘I want to see your face’. Once you’re on your back, he settles back over you, instantly latching back onto your neck. This time he opts for sucking slow, wet kisses onto the column of your throat until they turn to hickies. Meanwhile his hand finds purchase on the curve of your hip and uses it to yank you as close as possible while he rides on the meat of your thigh. You rake a hand through his sweaty hair and murmur filthy things into his ear until he comes with a shiver into the crook of your neck.

You both spend a few minutes just breathing shakily on the now disgusting pleather sofa. The popcorn ceiling really needs to be redone at some point, you realize. After what seems like forever Jin removes himself from your neck and sits up on one elbow to look at you. His hair resembles a cockatoo’s feathers and you have to look away before you laugh in his face.

“What’s funny,” he grins down at you, “I want to laugh too.”

“Go look in a mirror, then. Your hair is a mess.”

“I would say the same to you but actually now I don’t think should.”

“What does that mean?” You shuffle out from under him and head to the bathroom.

“Baby, wait. Don’t!” He tries to run after you but the awful feeling of underwear sticky with sweat and drying cum made him slow to a waddle. He hears a gasp as you see your reflection in the bathroom mirror. He winces but still comes over.

“Kim Seokjin, what is wrong with you? Look at this, you did this to me!”

He nods bashfully without looking. He doesn’t need to. He knows what the giant dark bruises already blooming on your neck look like.

“If its any consolation, you have a beautiful neck and I think you should stop hiding it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fair enough.”

#bts smut #bangtan bookclub #bttnetwork #hyunglinenetwork #btswriters #bts scenarios #jin scenarios #seokjin scenarios #kim seokjin scenarios #jin smut #seokjin smut #kim seokjin smut #jin imagine #seokjin imagine #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #kim seokjin imagines #kim seokjin fanfic

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