#but like. thats not sustainable for me lol
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theres something deeply wrong with my reproductive organs and hormone balances what is going on
#speaking in runes#last time i went to a gyno i was just told to never go off birth control ever cause they didnt know what was up#but like. thats not sustainable for me lol#like i tell you oh when im off BC i bleed non-stop and have huge clots that happen every 30 mins#and they just go well when we ran the tests it was ok so just dont go off bc haha#like yeah the test was ok cause i was back on BC!!!!!!! so i wasnt bleeding anymore!!!!!!#they didnt see any cysts or whatever but like. theres SOMETHING happening#my guess is endo honestly. but cant confirm that unless i get surgery#best i can do is just get a bisalp and hope for the best i guess#gughuhguhgugu i need to move NOW i need health insurance i need to figure out whats wrong with meeeee#sorry rant cause i have a lapse in BC rn and im cramping and feel like shit so im like. angry about my current health situation#ALSO the cramping is giving me dysphoria on top of everything
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#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#<- dca.. they're back in town ...#not tagging sun bc thats just their head :p#anywayyy hopefully this means something to someone. that's all i could ever wish for when it comes to my art#thats probably a bit too sentimental or something but sometimes it's hard to tell if the stuff you make is actually reaching people#or if you're just another person making content to satiate an insatiable crowd#is my art edible? is it a meal to you? is it a one time only thing? does it have any lasting effect on you?#is it just nutrients to sustain you? or is it something that will genuinely stick to you for at least longer than the first second?#i will stop talking now. you can eat my art as much as you'd like but can you at least savor it a little? compliment the chef a little bit?#for the ones who've read this far: this is actually for an AU i've been thinking about recently. i won't be sharing what it's about lol#but if you wanted some context for this... here you go. i'd like to think this has more meaning to it than just being an AU though#and maybe me not disclosing what the AU is will make you think about this post for a bit longer? it's a mystery now....#aaaand i just noticed i forgot the bells on the ribbon on their arm. great. excellent. perfect. whatever
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this whole thing being abt rage is also really interesting. I feel like it comes up so much in fiction as a motive because it's the one emotion that's unifyingly restless while everything else can be petrifying, and just personally nothing hits like impotent rage for me, esp. with teen characters, esp. with characters whose rage is stoked by Someone Else to further that Someone Else's cause. like you'll have done all that in a bout of passion and when you're done you look around you and nothing has changed. those sentiments don't get quelled by being satisfied. righteousness withdrawal is a horrible thing to intentionally drag someone into, least of all just some kids.
#I think Ive brought my personal experience into this whole thing lol but yeah just.#the ratgrinders read so much like radicalization to me. or you know just. high control group recruitment#and I've seen that one time brennan brought up uhhh conservatism? and where people come from with that#that quote of his thats like. before youre a fascist youre a bully. like extreme sentiments take root on specific soils#and that's like a higher level than what we're talking abt here lmao it's fake fantasy high school role playing#but yeah just like. the simultaneous understanding of the grift working on these kids bc they already think a certain way#and also the other part that is no matter what the way that they think is not. conducive to them being happy#like yeah a nasty person is nasty to be around! but that also means they're often isolated#which makes them even easier prey for people who want to use them#fhjy coming out in The Current Climate makes that connection so apparent too lol like#me hearing abt the rage god: oh so like twitter#for the record of course I Dont Know if this is a read that's intended by the show#but it maps well onto my experience with radicalization/decentralized cult#Ive just. been thinking abt the rat grinders in those terms ever since I made the connection#like. you're accomplished and high level and such. is this sustainable? have you done anything For Yourself#or has everything you've done so far been coerced out of you by someone else's sweettalking#anyways if I can run porter cliffbreaker over with a car I would. and I'd reverse on him too#truly thats the highschool trauma as well as the grown man with niblings talking lmao#nothing gets me more mad than a shitty teacher#not art
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No way they had to actually nerf aventurines story boss fight 😭😭
#SPACE CAPITALIST FOUL LEGACY FACES THE FATE OF THE ORIGINAL 😭😭#listen im the first one to call out how the omgggggg its hsr childe O___o shit with aven is just. dumb (& if anything hes hsr komaeda lmao)#but this is just so fucking funny 💀💀 poetic irony#(yap alert) n yes yes sure ik they do share some memeworthy similarities in the narrative roles they serve and some surface level aspects#such as. to stay on topic. the powered up form featured in a now-nerfed story fight threatens big population in attempt to draw out someone#thing. but as characters they rly couldnt be further apart. motivations and skillsets and worldviews and personality its . nothing lol.#like. they rhyme at times but thats not the same as rly being alike much at all and im tired of seeing it#but anuway yeah its. its so funny the boss fights for both got the fateful nerf i cannot believe this 💀💀#i kind of get why tho like. aventurine had hands. i did double sustain jic and was fine bc fx blocked the CC enough but ya#hsr#hsr spoilers#2.1 spoilers#rambles#name a more iconic duo than me and not fucking keeping it curt and on topic in the tags
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Had a doctor tell me quite sincerely this morning that my "life seems miserable" because of my health problems and it immediately made me think of the damn bitch you live like this meme
#like i cant stop thinking about it#he wasnt even the doctor i was there to see#the nurse called him in because my heart rate was high and it scared her#but like thats just a normal flare day for me#so anyway this guy i dont even know comes barging into the room to listen to my heart and ask about my symptoms etc#and then he says that its not sustainable to live like this and how i must be miserable#and im just like lol okay like tell me something i dont know#oh and when i told him i usually get through flares by staying in bed for a day or two#his response was to say how that would make going on vacation hard because i might end up having to be bedridden for part of it#and like#first of all#im too broke for vacations lol#second of all#i can barely leave the house bc of my health so what vacations would i even be attempting#idk like he did seem genuinely concerned#but i was honestly not in the mood to hear all that#like i was (and still am) feeling extremely unwell#i just wanted to go home#did not need or want the pity of some random doctor
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If you became super rich and could design your own house, but could only add THREE unnecessary/random/expensive home additions (like how people will have bowling alleys, movie theatres, closets with museums of shoes, car display rooms, spa rooms, wine cellars, etc. in their mansions) - what three would you choose?
#I think I would have: an indoor pool (but like heavily customized with a faux weather system so I could get the feeling of swimming in#rain or fog or snow etc.). a very small arcade consisting only of skee-ball and DDR machines. and an old Library Room with authentic#historical furniture/interior design to store old books/tapestries/study room equipment/whatever other antiques I'd collect. It'd be#like some fully intricate movie set or something that would feel completely like stepping into another world/time.#Though I might would trade out the arcade for a roller skating rink.. i DO love skating....#And I wouldve put rock climbing gym because I love indoor rock climbing but.. as I understand it they have to change out the rock things#on the walls every once in a while so that you can have new routes and it doesnt get boring. and I'd rather have an activty room thats like#self sustaining and doesnt require me to hire some person to come switch things around once every month. Otherwise I would#totally do that instead.#I'm also personally not counting ''craft'' type stuff like having a pottery room kiln sort of thing because#that doesn't count as 'unnessecary' to me. since stuff like that would not at all be just a hobby I 'happen to#do sometimes for fun'#but would definitely be a career sort of thing. Like if I had the money for a fully stocked sculpture room and and a sewing room#with a good machine and etc. then I would literally be professionally selling pottery and designing clothing and etc.#so I wouldn't count it as 'just a random side room I dont need' etc.#The same way that if I played tennis professionally or as a very intense hobby that takes up most of my life/time#then I wouldn't count having a tennis court in your house to practice in as 'unncesscarry' etc.#wow that is the worst I have ever spelt that word ghbjh#Un Cess Carry#ALSO would obviously have an underground bunker of some sort with food and emergency supplies which also does not count as unnecessary to m#since it's literally like... survival.. And I thought most health organizations literally reccomend that even#the common person has a small 'go bag' prepared in their house. and like an evacuation plan in case of fire or other things#It WOULD be an unnecessary rich person thing to have a full on undergRound village or something stocked with 9000 guns and#whaetever. but I think just a basic emergency room with basic supplies could still be counted under the 'not unnecessary' requirement.#Like I would say that a sprawling courtyard of flower gardens and fountains and hedge mazes that takes up like a hundred thousand#dollars a year in maintenance would count as one of the three 'unnecessary and expensive' things. But having a small garden in the#back yard with a few planters in a little greenhouse or whatever would not. The 'excessiveness' of the thing matters lol#ANYWAY!!!#Just curious what other peoples Three Main things would be... hrrmm
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Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔
#rat rambles#oni posting#and dude the beta is probably still going to be going during that time klei how could you do this to me#like I will still be participating in artfight but I fear Ill be on oni lockdown for the first week or smth dhskdhkdh#Ill try to at least sketch some stuff out but god if I can get my hands onto any amount of lore its so jover#now thats not a guarantee this is a beta after all but god man. fuck.#also I need to know the new dupes name right now its important#mostly because I want confirmation that I got z on the cypher right lol#chances are theyll just have another a name or smth#who knows maybe theyll have a w name and be the second ever contender for being sent to the constant#although for all we know there could be plenty more w names in the cast that are just hidden in the full names like with nails#I am in such agony rn with seemingly every place ppl post abt oni being dead silent still hello is anyone there#I thought Id at least see some more speculative stuff on the gameplay side of things but Ive seen like 2 things where ppl even bring it up#tbf some of the new stuff seems pretty obvious to deduce to me like there's no way the new fox deers dont produce lumber#and we already know the bunny guys (or the big one at least) provides reed fiber at least#the plants are mostly more mysterious tho#we have the obvious one being our new bestie the oxylite plant and the lil puffball tree thats probably the new decor plant#and the crystal grapes are probably going to be a new muckroot equivalent and at least one of the new plants probably produces smth edible#as for what recourses they need we know that at least 2 of them need watered in some way#Im currently betting theyll need ethanol but thats not based on a lot#honestly if any of them use plain ol water or even any water variants Ill be surprised#I wouldn't be surprised if most of them take ethanol or some liquid gas or smth#I still am holding out on a plant that consumed liquid carbon dioxide but Im not too hopeful#one thing Im very curious on is just everything abt how the oxylite plant grows I wanna know how good itll be so bad#because I am a proud member of the desperately wants more viable oxygen production option in oni gang and I wanna see this baby flourish#but based on how seemingly abundant it is Im afraid itll just join the squad of early game oxygen options that become too much of a hassle#to sustain late game so you're usually just going to switch to exlectroliszers each time#I hope Im wrong but I wont be surprised if Im not#they already took one oxygen plant out back and shot it dead so this guy might just be a corpse on arival if we're unlucky#well hey thats why there's a beta ig gotta make sure things are balanced or whatever
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doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse
#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs#the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s#not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need#without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do#it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my#needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to#escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no#one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and#frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later#like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an#independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im#stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i#just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be#right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol
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I love the imagery of the world encased during the activation of the infinite tsukuyomi. Unnatural brightness illuminating the gnarled branches and roots of a cursed tree encasing everyone in horrible pale cocoons. Imagine a world where that persisted. Eventually, you'd have the husk of that long dead tree full of bones and a proliferation of plants, fungi, and microorganisms
#bc i think it also hypnotizes animals? but like r fish under hypnosis? worms? bugs?#how far does the hypnotic ability extend? i like to think plants and microbes are immune#so you would just get a planet overrun by those guys#ugh. its so annoying that shippuden requires a premium membership on crunchyroll now#im out here watching boruto while shippuden is frozen in the infinite tsukuyomi for me lol#the imagry is just so cool. and its like that episode of the x files with the fungi lol thats kinda exactly what it is#bleh. i cant sleep so im thinking abt naruto. so it goes. i cant believe ive sustained this obsession consistently for over a year lol#naruto ramblings#someday ill draw 6 paths madara and the god tree in a way that cool and fucked up#bc i just love mokuton so much but planning that sort of thing takes so much energy. like i have a page in my prompt book for a garden#and i desperately need to make it a weird chaotic hashirama tribute. like fuse his dead body to a tree. but just the god tree would also b#good. ay so much to draw and im exhaust except is 3.30 am and i cant sleep rip#so im thinking abt ninja hypnotism#unrelated
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every time u think you've understood how low quality clothes r these days it gets worse huh. why is like medium cheap thirty quid type shit now five quid primark quality.
#u used to be able to get like. last years primark or h and m stuff secondhand#and still be able to wear it for ages#these days straight up i buy smth that isn't *expensive* and defo isnt *sustainable* but which feels like a better option#and its like oh ok hi polyester thats white on the inside#also before any of u tell me to just quit fast fashion id like u to go to a charity shop in a british city and find even one pair of#mens jeans in my size for less than ten pounds#*and which isnt just from h and m anyway lol#misc
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jesus fuck i feel bad for your poor girlfriend. just tell her you're a radfem
My gf knows I hold radical feminist views. Even before we've dated, I've talked openly and loudly about female liberation and sex based oppression, abortion access, hookup culture making young teens think theyre abnormal for not craving sex at 15, my thoughts on shaving, etc. She's even told me that talking about these things has helped her not feel the compulsion to shave her arms anymore.
She knows I'm a feminist and that I have radical views. The only thing I've never explicitly stated is that I'm gender critical of the trans movement as well (bc in general, this is social suicide and I have a career I want to protect). I have spoken about my gender critical views, I just don't call them that in conversation. Like I've ranted about the usage of terms like "boy clothes" and "boymode" to describe comfortable lounge clothing and that clothing has no gender. We've even debated about single sex spaces and even talked about JKR's funding of Beira's place. Like shockingly, we can disagree on things and still be together.
Idk what the point of your message really was. Is it "your poor gf" bc I complain about her very gendie/tumblr-q***r viewpoints? Or do you feel bc I'm a radfem it makes me a bad partner and that my gf is suffering by being partnered with me? I love her and want the best for her, but it doesn't stop me from being frustrated when she supports a movement that infringes on womens rights. I feel like I'm allowed to complain on my personal feminist tumblr about that lol
#the thing I appreciate a lot about her is that she does debate and hold discussion about various topcs with me#but what bothers me the most and just demonstrates how cult like the tq rainbow+ community is is how anti debate she is on those topics#we can talk about sex segreated spaces and mostly agree but then she has to mention TiM's and holds a 'no debate they're women' stance#and her defense of them is always so robotic or comes off as her quoting a stanza every 'supporter' has to say. ev#*even during our talks about abortion in her automated caveat about tq+ people she mentions tims being affected by the abortion ban#like they're not. but including them in everything is the preprogrammed response. and that is at the core of my complaints abt her stances#they aren't actually hers. its just rhe most progressive thing to believe and regurgitate. it frustrates me bc she is v intelligent#but she in general holds many libfem-y beliefs. maybe in the long run our relationship won't be sustainable idk thats a bridge for later#ik eventually I'll have to lay out my thoughts i don't tell her now and see what happens#I've come to terms that she may breakup with me over my gc radfem views.#I've come to terms she may break up with me over my views on the trans movement as she's a big supporter of it. thats her decision#but again. its a bridge for the future. and i will be respectful of her decision. I'm not entitled to a relationship or her love#anyway just rambling at this point. time for my meds lol.#anon#like am i a bad person for not telling her how i feel the tq movement is regressive af. i dont get the angle of this message#sorry if I'm missing the point of what you're trying to say to me
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Dr's be like " GooD News! We can't find anything wrong with you! So keep an eye on your symptoms and come back if anything changes! :D"
.... i guess i'll just keep collapsing/nearly passing out whilst feeling exhausted all the time and being unable to string more than three thoughts together with muscles that ache from sitting and being unable to walk more than 10 mins without getting out of breath then .... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#tag essay / rant#el rambles#personal#health stuff#nothing against Drs in general (the NHS is an absolute blessing <3) but like look at my record#of never going to the drs for any issues for 25+years#would I be here just for the lols? mayhaps im there bc i feel like sumting is not right with me atm#it's only since feb when i went down hard with The covid and I just haven't bounced back yet#(my friends and office people think its long covid but i refuse to accept that - i will be so pissed if it is)#my main concern is that its impacting my work#and I've managed to push through the last few months by having no life outside of work but thats not sustainable#and also even if it were sustainable - im still exhausted and struggling at work even when im doing nothing outside of work#also like ... if nothing chnges this is still not my optimum/my norm so am i meant to wait for it to get worse?#like regularly loosing consciousness in public?#im thinking maybe go back in a few weeks and be like - TeCHNically nothings changed but this still isnt my norm plz find something#whispers to the void#at least i found some gentle herbal sleeping tablet that have been working for me this past week...#small wins#ty for listening <3
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In regards to my last post, the horrors have abated because I connected with community. My thoughts and opinions are now hopeful and motivated, and I feel a stronger sense of place in the world. Turns out finding like-minded people who have similar passions and goals in life is important to one's wellbeing!
#em overshares#again lol#i just found out my hometown is updating/redoing their 20 year plan and thats literally what im going to school for#loving the parallels in my life and even though i no longer live there i still feel so connected because i follow community activists!#like okay maybe my hometown isnt irredeemable and awful and as prickly as the desert that surrounds it#anyway!!!! gonna connect and maybe even organize with people to promote sustainable planning goals from afar#i was recently told that being a hot mess is good thing for me to do so that is why i am sharing so much tonight
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lowkey side-eying how this bang is handling it's deadlines... it wants me to write an additional 40% of my piece by next month (which is doubling my wordcount), while it wants 20% done for the final month..... im going to ignore this advice and go 30% for each.
#writing post#throwing this on the writing blog because i dont want to seem too whiny on main#but like. Check 1 was 20%. Check 2 is 40%.#Check in 3 is 80%?#doubling increasingly is STUPID im sorry thats not sustainable lol!#I'm working assuming my fic will be 40k. closer to a true bang when this bang has 2k minimum and no maximum.#but it should be designed so a true bang is feasible too#doubling makes sense from 20% to 40% but 40% to 80% is a HUGE jump. 16k in one month#which again! is doable!!! but like#WHY would i do 40% of the work from check in 2 - 3 when i could do. 30%#and then for the final.... also do 30%#that's ALL im saying here#anyways I'm also hoping this piece WON'T be 40k#so that like. I'm already overworking and ahead of the game by assuming it is#just. man this is BOTHERING me lol it's just weird to work on a 'lets double it' kind fo thing#30% is super doable thats like 12k words
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damn are u me bc SAME (unfortunately)) and it's kinda eating me alive bc one of them has this super awesome bf that really cares about her and is putting in the effort to show it and yeah I'm happy for her bc she deserves the world but also I sometimes think about how I've always been alone and haven't even kissed yet and I'm like. am i not pretty or interesting enough for someone to put effort in?? and i feel bad about feeling envious lol but it's ok
FORREAAAALLLLL like god i love my friends i am happy for them but after having two like supremely toxic relationships its just like. well when will it be my fucking turn huh. and i FEEL u on the kiss thing bc neither have i <3 and ive definitely been pitied for it too.. YAY.
but like. ok maybe this is toxic maybe not but. i think being envious is ok? just as long as its kept in check. like you dont Ruin your friendship over the envy. is that toxic am i cancelled.
#like on one hand i am SOOOOOOOOO sick of seeing u guys be happy but also like. i keep that shit inside i dont take it out on anyone bc its#immature and childish and wrong. but my feelings are something i cant control yk? and on the other hand its like FUUUUUUUUCK YES I AM SO#HAPPY THAT U ARE HAPPY YESSSSSSSS TELL ME EVERYTHING!! and its just a very weird war for me to be waging. by myself. in my mind palace#like. my second gf wasnt great to me. my recent ex was DEFINITELY not good to me. the weird fling i had w a guy last year when i had an#identity crisis left me feeling used (if u know. well. u know.) so its like. am i just not fucking deserving ? am i not deserving of#something nice that feels like coming home? that reminds me i didnt even get to have closure on my last crush bc it was fucking spearheaded#by my fucking ex and well THEYRE still friends go fucking figure fuck you guys#like the last time i truly felt loved was back in 2019. im so serious. like. i know im loved platonically sure. thats great and i love you#guys too. but this cant sustain me. im getting lonely and im getting bitter and i dont have anyone to blame. like. not even myself. which#SUCKS. it SO SUCKS. like . i dont know. i want something real before i die. i dont have a lifespan like you guys. my condition will#literally probably kill me. and like. im gonna die not knowing true love. thats where im at. thats kinda what im reminded of seeing all my#friends this happy. because they live normal lives. i dont even feel like i Deserve love but i want it so bad#did you know my ex when we like first started dating was like what am i gonna do when you die. what would i tell the kids. like you just#fucking say that to someone you love? you make the fact that their disability will likely kill them into a problem YOU have to face?#do you see what i mean. i just want to feel wanted. without conditions#snail mail#lol i made myself cry. im so hot hot girl summer (chokes)
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Now that I think about it, maybe the reason why Malleus' Magic is so powerful, because before he was born he was copiously sustained with powerful magicians like Meleanor, Maleficia, and Lilia.
The egg is born through love but only through magic can that egg finally hatch (that's where Lilia exhausted his magic). Maybe a fae's power is determined to how much magic can their parents "exhaust" in making them born(?).
So, essentially, His magic consists of the magic of powerful mages.
1) Meleanor (as his biological mother),
2) Maleficia (her magic was life support while he was incubated),
and 3) Lilia (who hatched him).
So when we fight Malleus, we are not just simply fighting "Malleus" himself, but rather a lethal culmination of Meleanor, Maleficia, and Lilia's raw power.
That's why it feels so impossible to defeat him because we're essentially fighting three powerful magicians at once, it's just in the form of "Malleus Draconia."
All these magicians have high-profile powerful magic, and all of them are faes too. I often assumed that Malleus was rich in magic because he's a Draconia but no, Meleanor used her full magical strength as well but the story didn't showcase her casting some world altering magic like stopping time and encasing human souls inside a magical barrier— Only Malleus did...
Maybe there's really no person who can defeat him as STYX theorizes... Not even Maleficia. While its true she's powerful, but based on this interpretation, she can fight Malleus, but fighting Malleus is also the same as fighting her magic, mixed with Meleanor's and Lilia's (and Levan's even though we don't know how powerful he is).
Levan is Malleus' father but so far the story doesn't imply nor mention any significant magical contribution he did to Malleus. The only thing mentioned in the story about Levan's influence was that Malleus is a kind/gentle person because of him.
I like to interpret he's powerful too! So maybe, its not just Meleanor, Maleficia, Lilia, but also Levan.... if he got the chance to bless Eggmalleus some magic before he lost. So its actually FIVE HIGH CLASS MAGICIANS were fighting against if we fight Malleus ☠️☠️ That's why he's truly "god-like".
I really like the fact that Malleus is undefeatable even by raw power or raw cleverness (like using technology). I know that's still going to be a big part, but its more intriguing for me to how TWST will handle stopping Malleus without obvious offense.
They'll only need to rely on one thing that humans are really great of practicing (more than faes): communication. Maybe the solution may be as simple as talking to Malleus that he needs to stop lol Because really, at this point, thats the most staple choice we have, anything else takes too much time💔😔
Not in the accusing way, but in a kind and understanding way. But, I know that's unlikely to happen knowing how "cringed" NRC is towards displaying kindness (which is often their downfall lol). But remember, the resolution at the fairy gala event? Where everyone was antagonizing the Diurnal Fairies, assuming they'll be stubborn and that they're thieves so they should take the stone without asking them, but then it turns out once they got caught and Silver talked with them apologetically and with understandingly, the Queen understood it and let the stone go...
Maybe Malleus would act like that Queen too?? After all, no one still talks with him about how "indeed, it is painful to suffer and lost, but there's merit in their existence, so we don't need to cut them out of our lives, because even those painful experiences helps us achieve our true dreams." or just a simple "You won't be alone even if Lilia passes away. I'm sure Lilia will be more happy to live his life and live it longer because he'll be remembered by Malleus even if he's just a memory now." or maybe a blunt "The world doesn't revolve around anyone, so Malleus has no rights to dictate how we should live our lives" lol
I feel like Malleus is just a person who never really thinks about other interpretations unless its been said to him... That's why I'm wishing that Book 7 resolves his overblot by not fully painting him as a "catastrophic dark fae" (like what the humans viewed Meleanor), like there'll be a balance between depicting him as a villain but also as a flawed person.
But yes I do agree that the biggest hurdle in defeating Malleus, may not just be his overpowered magic, but also his defiance in believing that he can understand humanity and humanity will understand him 😭😭
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