#but like. if you have a difficult family relationship that involves a lot of trauma

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i think most of my wwx opinions are unpopular outside of my little patch in this fandom, but i genuinely do believe that post-canon wwx and jc are just better off being out of each other’s lives as much as possible, crossing paths only out of necessity for jin ling.

sometimes when the wounds cut deeply enough, even if none of those wounds were inflicted intentionally or maliciously, it doesn’t matter how much you loved your family member, how much you sacrificed for them, or how much they sacrificed for you. your presence in each other’s lives just aggravates those injuries and prevents them from healing, and maybe the kindest thing you can do for each other is to just leave each other alone.

[loveemagicpeace]

🎲Lilith in Signs 🎲

Lilith in Aries- your dark side is that you want to be independent and confident about yourself. Nothing and nobody can stand in your way. When you set your mind to something, you want to have it and you stand behind it. You don't give up until you reach your goal and you can also be very competitive. Sometimes, your need to prove yourself can spill over into hypercompetitiveness. You must learn to love your tender parts of yourself.

Lilith in Taurus- You deeply appreciate life's pleasures and enjoy luxuriating in them whenever possible. indicates that your sense of security is violated. You can feel that it is not safe to have fun, be yourself, or to be happy about the beauty of life. People with this placement can feel that if they share what they have, others will take everything from them. Intimacy is very important to you. They can be quite possessive of their partner.

Lilith in Gemini- your trauma involves many people, from your neighborhood, classmates, relatives. Maybe as a child you felt like they had control over you or they hurt you in a way that made you feel like you weren't smart enough. Communication could also be a problem for you. Lilith in Gemini is often involved in conflicts. People with this placement can unintentionally say things that others misinterpret, or they find offensive. You are always careful when u say something.

Lilith in Cancer- your traumas come from your family, people who are close to you. It also includes your home and your comfort. Feeling like you can't find your home. You can feel like you want to control relationships, especially if you create a really beautiful and vulnerable relationship with someone. At the same time, it is difficult for you to be vulnerable in front of others or to show this side because you have the feeling that someone will destroy it. It is hard for you to ask for help and accept it. In extreme cases, this placement can even indicate trauma. It can also play out as one of the family members having serious problems that poison the domestic atmosphere. Cancer is all about being safe, nurtured, taken care of. Lilith here can either manifest as rejecting the idea of nurturing, or alternatively, being obsessed with it and overcompensating it. Your relationship with your parents is usually troubled, especially with the mother.

Lilith in Leo- your traumas come from childhood. Maybe in your childhood you felt that you didn't get the joy you wanted as a child. It's hard for you to show pride, ego and passion for the things you love to do. It's as if the energy is constantly pulling you back to do something you really want and to find pleasure. Here may be the pleasure you want but just can't find. Lilith in Leo can suggest that the father was very domineering, dictatorial, even abusive. Love had to be earned, if there was any at all. Lilith in Leo people have a strange relationship with attention. They want it, but they are afraid of it too. Admiration is a wound-healing balm, or at least it soothes the pain. In chart can suggest imbalance between masculine and feminine energy.

Lilith in Virgo-your trauma can come from your daily life, routine, things related to order, work, health, animals, caring. You may have a problem with not knowing how to serve others or be there for them (take care of them literally). Maybe you want to express this side of yourself more, but you don't know how. You can have a lot of problems with animals (they can die a lot), and every time you get a new pet you are afraid of it dying. Also shows a strong desire for control, order, and perfection. Lilith here suggests that you are very sensitive. It is not easy to express yourself in a healthy way with this placement. Lilith doesn’t tolerate being controlled, forced to stick to routines, and it can rebel against planning and logic too. It is extremely critical and analyzes everyone it meets if they meet its standards. You don’t like to let others see your vulnerable side.

Lilith in Libra- a lot of trauma comes from relationships and romantic relationships. You are hungry for love, but you can’t get enough of it. There is a tendency to see your shadow side mirrored back by others. You pay a lot of attention to what others want from you, even define yourself as the function of your relationships. As an adult, you probably dislike conflicts. If there is a lot of drama in your relationship, you want to get out of it. Libra want to be close to someone, but they are afraid of it too. Unconsciously they often sabotage their relationships. There can be a tendency to project your own insecurities onto others.

Lilith in Scorpio- There was lot of dark things that you experienced as child. And there may be secrets that you have to keep and could also be that you're afraid of the dark thing somehow. Can create an overwhelming desire for control and power in your life. There is a lot of tension in your mind, but it is hidden from the external world. Lilith in Scorpio forces you to face your shadow. Secrets come to light sooner or later. You can’t hide from your problems for long. This placement can help you find your power, but the road is not easy. Being at the mercy of someone else is one of your worst nightmares. Lilith here can be obsessed with safety.

Lilith in Sagittarius- This gives you warm and bright energy that other people can't help but fall for. And while you love the attention you get from others, you're not as keen on settling down. There is a strong desire to carve out your own path. You tend to go to the extremes with this placement. However, integrating your Black Moon Lilith can help you understand yourself on a much deeper level and find your personal power. People with this placement have a strong desire to understand themselves on a very deep level, or alternatively if they try to avoid self-reflection, life forces them to be more introspective.

Lilith in Capricorn- you can have traumas involving your father or a person who may have had control over you (adult - older person). You may have trouble connecting with people who are older than you. You can have many fears. Becoming emotionally independent but at the same time being able to experience love and intimacy is a core theme here. Lilith here asks you to find balance between independence and acknowledging vulnerability. Learning to let go is another important lesson. Feeling safe in a relationship is not easy for you. However, Lilith here can also manifests as trusting the wrong person.

Lilith in Aquarius- you may often feel like you were a stranger in this world, detached from other people. However, understanding your Lilith can help you accept yourself and find your personal power. You want to maintain your independence at any price, what needless to say, makes relationships hard for you. This placement can even suggest being adopted or having unusual genetic heritage. As a child, perhaps you learned that trusting others can get you seriously hurt. Perhaps you experienced traumatic betrayal.

Lilith in Pisces- with this placement you are either overly realistic, or you for some reason don’t seem to able to pull your weight when it comes to dealing with reality. This Lilith sign tends to get lost in fantasy. They want to understand themselves and other people on a very deep level. As you grow older and integrate this placement properly, you can become very wise. This placement can also manifest as not being aware of your emotions, especially the negative ones. You are way more receptive to influences around you than most people. This placement can even indicate relationships with people who need help or who take advantage of you. You can have illusions about others and their intentions.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah💗

[blackmoonoracle]

NATAL Moon - Uranus aspect observations in the Natal Chart.

Blurring the line between Psychic Prowess, and utterly Divine Madness 🌚⚡

I've noticed that people who have harsh Uranus/moon aspects or moon conjunct Uranus esp if it's harshly aspected by a malefic tend to have a target on their back socially, ESPECIALLY in childhood. Like everything they do or say just pisses off the family or causes authority figures to lash out in some harsh or restrictive way- which never bodes well for anyone involved. Because moon - Uranus people will in fact drag their dissenters and the people abusing their authority against them to hell alongside them. These are people who psychologically torture authority, both intentionally and unintentionally depending on the scenario. They respond very negatively to having their freedom and self expression infringed upon especially if it's being done so unfairly.

I've also noticed that harsh moon-uranus aspects can look like a violent swing between constant over and understimulation. Finding a happy medium can be difficult, and when they aren't regulated the outbursts are volatile & intense.

If you have this aspect in your chart, feeling understood is very important. You have an almost magnetic need to stand out— and you generally WILL stand out whether you're trying to or not. You’re a natural-born truth-seeker.

Growing up, these natives question everything, and usually don't mind questioning or correcting others. Theres not usually a huge respect for authority either, and these natives have no problem challenging those who abuse their social power. They may even thrive on this dynamic, it's always very much "fuck the system".

While Uranus isn't a trauma marker, it does bring a lot of tension. Those with this aspect often feel like outsiders, like they don’t quite fit in; or they are intentionally singled out & ostracized. I've met a lot of people with moon - uranus who have been primarily targeted by teachers and authority as well. You also have the "popular loner" archetype which I tend to ascribe more commonly to Aquarius SUNS—everyone likes you, but you still feel like you’re living on a different planet.

People with strong Uranus energy often come from families that seem perfect on the outside, or at least very *different* from them. They can also come from families with shocking histories or have notable ancestors/ancestry. There can be sudden deaths, psychic and spiritual phenomena, (and sometimes autism LMAO don't come for me).

Sudden endings and deaths, sporadic change, and a difficult relationship with comfort. The moon is all about our creature comforts & the presence of Uranus can really strip this away from the native. It can feel like grasping at straws trying to soothe or comfort the onslaught of volatile emotion & psychic intensity.

A lot of unpredictable events and insane prophecies come with this placement. It's easy to feel detached from everyone including yourself & dissociative + personality disorders have the potential to brew here for sure.

At times you can feel like the antithesis to social normalcy, and as if your innate being causes nothing but chaos & trouble.

It's unsurprising that many with Moon-Uranus end up being generational cycle/curse breakers & tend to be highly detached from the family. There can be a desire to be freed from one's own ancestry, or to escape the family norm.

Living authentically is a non-negotiable for these folks. It’s just in their DNA. Trying to suppress it is literally like eating glass— being forced to perform or show up inauthentically can be legitimately painful & cause extreme emotional and physical dysregulation.

This is thought to be an aspect that leads to hysterical outbursts, but in my observation it's usually a stimulation issue. Which honestly, I think is one of the biggest lifelong difficulties of this aspect. What other people may see as hysteria or volatility may actually be psychic overload.

Regardless of whether or not other people see it, this is a highly gifted and PROPHETIC placement. They see into the future & have the ability to intuitively read other people's minds.

Think gifted in the sense of telepathy, telekinesis, and even manipulating electromagnetic energy.

Uranus has a "futuristic knowing” that really boosts the already psychic nature of the moon.

Uranus also brings duality, and these folks intrinsically understand this universal llaw. With the right support, these individuals can become powerful manifestors, using their deep understanding of reality to shape their world and to redefine the world for others. These natives are highly proficient in recognizing patterns and often disrupt things, even when they don’t mean to.

Learning to ride out the emotional roller coaster is a necessary skill to develop for those carrying this energy. The highs and lows can be draining, so grounding is essential. They tend to see things in black-and-white, which can lead to intense emotional outbursts or social withdrawal. There's also a tendency to spiral from information overload. The constant desire for intellectual stimulation can drive you crazy & also cause attention span issues., Difficulty focusing, difficulty managing and maintaining relationships, can have an anxious-avoidant attachment or be prone to attracting anxious-avoidant dynamics.

There can be a major lesson in accepting losses & being comfortable with discomfort. Nothing feels predictable or reliable for moon-uranus individuals, which can lead to a pessimistic outlook & feelings of dread.

But despite it all, these people walk to the beat of their own deum, & remain true to themselves, even when the world refuses to get it.

[theleotarot]

How Your Person Of Interest Sees/Thinks/Feels About You

Choose the image you are most drawn to or resonate most with… pile 1, pile 2, & pile 3 ✨

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Pile 1

(Knight of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Three of Wands, Knight of Swords, The Unknown Card, Three of Swords, Mentor, Plane, & Thriving)

Hi Pile 1! Welcome to your reading. ♡

Your person of interest sees you as someone who is very hardworking in all areas of your life. Perhaps, right now you are pursuing a degree or job, or maybe you are working towards a goal that requires lots of resilience and financial responsibility. Your person sees you very successful as well. I am also getting this energy that they may think you are above them in some way, whether it be financially, emotionally, or mentally. I really think they do look up to you in every way regardless if you feel like you are struggling yourself or you feel like you can do better. They see you as someone who is very helpful to other people and the community. Your job or every day work may involve with interacting and helping people out, and this is confirmation that this is your pile! They might find you very funny and young at heart as well. I'm getting that some of you may not think you're funny, but your person definitely thinks that you are. I'm getting that you may be the type of person to also laugh things off when you feel scared or hurt, it's kind of like a coping mechanism, only for some. Besides that though, I really do think your person sees you as someone who radiates bright energy and that's why people and even animals enjoy being around you. Not only they see you as bright energy, but they also see you as someone who attracts very much positive things into your life, again, abundance, school, work, you name it. What your person thinks about you is that you have a huge future ahead of you, and you have the ability to achieve your goals if you just go for it. I believe that they also think that you are very good with your words. Again, I keep getting this energy from your person of interest that they do not think they are as good as you. Honestly, I feel like they are intimidated by your potential and success. I believe that your person is going through something difficult or heartbreaking. It may be because of a separation, insecurities, or any kind of past trauma, but it is unknown. I think that this difficulty they are facing has an affect on how they feel about you. I do think that their feelings for you are developing though. I think that this person just cannot show your their full interest or attention because they need to focus on themselves more. Even though they are facing their own difficulties, I do believe you cross their mind, and their feelings for you have potential in growing into something bigger within time. Overall, I feel like your person sees you as a light in their life. They really look up to your for your positivity and ambitions. I think that once they get their life together and feel better about themselves, their feelings for you will escalate and they will start to show how they truly feel.

——————————————————————————

Pile 2

(Ten of Wands, Ten of Cups, The Fool, King of Wands, Eight of Swords, The Magician, Shape-Shifter, Flowers, & Transformation)

Hi Pile 2! Welcome to your reading. ♡

Okay pile 2, before I start your reading, I just want to say that this is the sweetest pile. 🥺 Okay let's carry on. Your person sees you as someone who carries or has carried a lot of baggage on themselves. Perhaps, you have struggled financially or educationally, or you have really struggled with your family or friend relationships. I also get this energy from you that part of your baggage has something to do with the fact that you always put others as a priority rather than yourself. You are always sacrificing yourself, even if it costs you your happiness. Even though you've been through so much emotional baggage, you continue to persevere through adversity, and your person of interest definitely sees this about you. They see how hard your life has been, yet you find the power to proceed with your life, and they find this absolutely inspiring about you. It's like, you have the choice to stay in despair and yearn for a better life, but you choose the opposite and make changes to your life to be happy instead. Your person sees that you have amazing grit and can also adapt to your environment, whether it be difficult or easy. They might also see you as someone who is very emotional and someone who wants to have their own family and children in the future. They can see you feminine as well. The way that your person sees you is very warm and precious. There are lots of pink and purple in your reading pile 2, so this means that your person sees you very delicate and they are really romantically connected with you too. I think they think you are confident in your actions as well, and whatever risks or actions you take, you are able to go through with it. I think your person thinks you're very playful as well. Even though sometimes you may feel stressed or upset about certain things in your life, your person knows that inside of you, at the very core of you, you are actually a very warm, delicate, loving, affectionate, and playful individual. I think that they believe that you deserve the best, pile 2, especially since you've gone through so much. They also think of you as a flower. Not only are they beautiful and delicate, but they're also a product of growth and transformation. Your person not only sees you for your beauty but for also all your hard work, tenacity, and sacrifice. Pile 2, I believe that your person has very romantic feelings for you, but they do not know how to come forward with it towards you. I believe that they want to turn your bond with them into something more, but they are intimidated at the same time. I think that maybe you have a chance to come forward instead, and this will save your person a headache lol because they feel for you so much. One more message I'm getting is that they see you as a butterfly. Again, you have transformed so much in your life. You may have felt stuck in the past and over worried, but you will grow into your wings and you'll be set free to fly. Your reading is beautiful pile 2. Your person deeply feels for you.

——————————————————————————

Pile 3

(King of Pentacles, The Hermit, The Star, Seven of Cups, The Tower, Four of Wands, Servant, Unity, & Protection)

Hi pile 3! Welcome to your reading. ♡

Your person of interest finds you very, very attractive, and maybe even very addicting pile 3! I say this because The Devil card popped out twice in the back of the deck. You're quite appealing to them I would say. 😏 Anyway, I think you give off independent vibes to your person. You're very successful, and you're independent. You're not a loner, you're in solitude. There's a big difference between those two. I think they see you as someone who does not take bs either (I'm getting that some of you here are more mature so I can insert bs here lolol). I think they see you as someone very helpful to others. Maybe you are a people pleaser, for some? I just got that. Your person also might see you as quite mysterious. You may be more of the quiet type, and they are intrigued by you. They just want to know more and more about you. I get the feeling that your person also thinks that you may have a lot of people lined up for you in regard to romantic partners. Your person may think that they don't even have a chance with you because you're so hot lol. They do think of you as a star though. You radiate light in their life, and I think that they may admire you from a distance, and they keep their feelings to themselves at times. I think that when you or if you have conversations with them, they will feel very emotionally connected with you. Your conversations with them are easy, and they feel like they can open up to you about pretty much anything comfortably. I think this is what separates you from others. You just get them in a way that no one else does, this pertains to your conversations with them, as well as your looks. 😉 One random thing, I think they might like your hands lol. Your person's feelings for you are strong pile 3, it's a given here. I think they did not expect to be this attracted to you though. Maybe some people here are in a work or classroom environment with your person, and your relationship with them could almost feel "taboo" but they can't help but be so drawn to you. Another situation I’m seeing here is a friend dynamic. Just take what resonates. I think that your person does really want something more with you though. I think if you two were together, they would really make it known to the world that you are theirs and they would celebrate your love lol. They also feel very protective over you. Even if you are already strong on your own and independent, your person still wants to be the one to protect you at all costs and even be your knight in shining armor. I believe that your bond with this person does have potential to lead to something more pile 3, even if you do not talk to them, the both of you still have potential together. Overall, they are so attracted to you pile 3. Do you ever have that person that you like so damn much that they are ruining your life???!! Yeah, that's you to them. Lol.

——————————————————————————

[alicethenobody]

My headcanons about the Sparda twins coming back from hell.

-They’re stuck for about 11 months, after they find a way out after managing to sever those stupid roots so they don’t bother anybody anymore.

-Just in time for Patty’s 19th birthday party!

-Somehow they accidentally end up there, and chaos ensues.

-Patty scolds Dante for missing her birthday party last year and cries tears of joy at the same time knowing he’s finally home, she’d visited DMC everyday to see if Dante had turned up and now she doesn’t have to wait anymore to see him again. After the scolding she gives him as tight of a hug as she can. Dante promises to make it up to her and reassures her he didn’t mean to neglect her on her birthday. Patty demands double the presents, and even though he doubts he can afford much he’ll try to find a way. He can’t say no to Pattycakes.

-Btw for those who don’t know the novel reveals Dante planned on seeing Patty after handling Urizen, he just didn’t want to go to the party itself because he feels uncomfortable and like a freak around “normal” (his words) people like Patty’s friends and thinks he’s dangerous to be around.

-Vergil is confused. Very confused. They act a lot like family. Could Dante have had a kid? He never said anything about that.

-Nope. They’re just really tightly knit found family.

-Patty eventually starts roasting Dante like usual, mainly for how he smells horrible and his hair is a mess. She demands that he showers right now.

-Vergil decides he likes Patty already and teams up with her to roast his brother and tells him “Do what she says, Dante. You wouldn’t want to make her upset.” In the most smug way fucking possible.

-Dante wanted to go back to the shop right away considering he’d been gone for so long, but again, he really can’t say no to Patty.

-They return to DMC after that. Nero is there and he’s silently shocked for a moment when the twins walk through the door, in the middle of an argument about something really stupid. Probably about pizza toppings. Nothing really serious just normal sibling banter.

-“GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! Can we please talk?!”

-Dante, realizing Nero is there, is giddy to see his nephew. However… Nero gives him a swift uppercut to the jaw.

-This leads to Nero dragging Dante somewhere they can talk alone. He demands an explanation as to why Dante never told him about anything.

-This will be difficult, but Dante knows he needs to explain stuff to him. It’s only fair. He has a right to know.

-He doesn’t open up about his trauma that lead to all this, that’d be out of character. But he does explain to Nero the best he can that the Sparda family has a long, bloody and traumatic history and he thought if Nero got involved he’d get hurt and he didn’t want the only family he had left to get hurt, or ruin the happy life he was living with Kyrie.

-He expects another punch from Nero, he thinks he deserves it, but instead Nero crushes him with a hug.

-“Never fucking do that again, idiot. From now on we’re family, you got it? No more secrets.”

-Dante nearly cries as he says “You have my word, kid.” in the goofiest, most overjoyed way possible. Also he’s kinda nervous about it at first because he’s not used to receiving affection anymore but he hugs Nero back.

-Vergil on the other hand? Having a… relationship with him is gonna be difficult as hell. It’ll take a while before Vergil and Nero are comfortable around each other. Kyrie and Dante play a big role in helping the two, though Vergil was a lot more reluctant at first to accept his little bro’s help.

-Also Vergil lives with Dante and let’s just say the business is a lot better with him around. They still bicker a lot but it’s out of love because what siblings don’t annoy each other?

Will Nero ever learn about the Sparda family’s history in better detail? I have a lot of thoughts about that, as well as possible plot points in a DMC 6 type scenario but I just wanted this post to be about the immediate return from hell.

Edit: Wanted to mention I also have thoughts about Nero’s side of things while the twins were in hell about what he was doing and how he was feeling and all that stuff but this post is mainly about this twins.

[lua-magic]

Intresting Astrology facts.

If your ancendent has Rahu, ketu, or even Saturn your present life will revolve around your past life, you will meet many past life relationships.

If your Jupiter is with Rahu, ketu or Saturn,or your ninth house has rahu, ketu or Saturn it also shows born to finish your pending karma of past life.

Mercury in water sign( 4,8and 12) natives are extremely creative.

Mercury in Earth sign (2,6 and 10) have logical approach.

Mercury in second house also shows that in your childhood, lot of preference to studies and reading were given.

Mercury in air sign, 3,7 and 11 are natives who could speak to anyone anytime.

Mercury in fire sign( 1,5,9) are self starters and can take lot of initiative.

Second house also shows your child hood upbringing and values that you were given in childhood.

Saturn in second house or in twelfth, and fifth house shows alot of importance were given to work.

Jupiter in second house is good, as it shows moral values were given to native.

If Jupiter is present in eighth, sixth and tenth house as well it shows good upbringing.

If Mars is present in second house, six house and seventh house it house, native in early childhood either seen lot of domestic fight, or was involved in some kind of sports or frequent fights.

Second house is also of wealth 🤑

If Rahu is present in second house, then native will receive sudden wealth and love to show-off to others.

Rahu in second house also shows lot of childhood traumas.

If ketu is in second house then native will receive wealth slowly but will not show to others.

Ketu in second house shows your detachment from family.

If your Jupiter has Mars or jupiter in ancendent then you will always feel divine presence in your life, especially no enemy can harm you.

If Jupiter is in sixth and tenth house, Jupiter blessings will come especially when someone try to defame you, or put wrong allegations in you or criticizes you.

Moon Venus in close conjunction or in trine, native has to face lot of blames in his life

If Rahu goes in twelfth house, then in this life you have pay lot for your karmic debt of your ancestors, but you will be liberated from your ancestral debts.

If your second lord is with melefics like Mars, Rahu and ketu, Saturn , sun or even Debilitated then it shows problematic and difficult childhood, only if Jupiter is not in second house or aspecting second house or second lord.

If you have Saturn retro or Jupiter retro it shows you are getting results of immediate past life karmas in this life or you are here to finish your immediate past life karmas.

Sun Rahu combination natives should avoid eating, "refined wheat flour" as wheat flour is sun but when you refine it, it becomes rahu, if you eat it, you will damage your sun.

Mars , Rahu and Saturn in second house native should avoid spicy food, (if possible avoid non veg) as you will damage your second house, second house is also your eating habits..

[adventuringblind]

Solace

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: angsty AF but happy end don't worry

Request: No, but they're open! I love seeing your ideas so please send them! I promise I don't bite... most the time ;)

Summary: you and Max get to grow together. Neither of your dads being the best parenting model. When Max sees what your dad has don’t to you, he knows something has to be done.

Warnings: Jos Verstappen, depictions of most forms of abuse, descriptions of injuries

Notes: written in second person. I’ve noticed a theme with my writing… we’re just going to ignore it and I will continue to heal my trauma this way :)

Masterlist

Everyone expected great things from you. Expectations you wanted so badly to meet. Yet you always felt like you were falling short.

Your father is a Redbull mechanic. A good one at that. He's incredibly smart and respected within the paddock. One of Max's top engineers.

Your mother had left during your childhood. This means you got to spend your time traveling everywhere with your father. Him even being your teacher until you started online school and graduated.

Christian offered you a job that involved being on the pitwall. One you took happily. It meant you didn't have to spend the race in the garage with your dad.

From the outside, you looked happy. But you weren't up to standard with what your father wanted. You weren't perfect.

Behind closed doors, things were much different. You were blamed for your mothers disappearance. Blamed for your fathers woes. Used as a physical and verbal punching bag to help him feel better.

All the while, you convinced yourself it was for his benefit. That you deserved this for not being what your father wanted. He provided for you all these years, why couldn't you do this for him.

When Max started at redbull, both of you were still young. Regardless, the friendship was meant to be. No matter how much wither of your fathers hated it.

It led to secret rendezvous and stolen moments of escape with each other. You understood him and he understood you.

Max failed to realize how you understood. His dad was open with his behaviors. Jos had yet to back down from a session of publicly shaming his child. Your dad didn't do anything close to that. So how on earth could you know exactly what he needed during those hard nights.

He'd asked Christian about it a few times. Why you were so shy and timid around adults. It was difficult to understand.

Christian had told him not to worry about it and to focus on his racing. He was watching out for you.

It was true. Christian had been your Guardian angel on multiple occasions. Even staying with his family over long breaks why home was too difficult. He made sure you were fed and had clothes that fit. Everything you lacked in your own house.

The one thing that stopped him from getting him away from you is that you never explicitly told him or showed any signs of it. He was working on assumptions and possible hints.

He'd tried to catch anything that would give him a leg up, but he'd yet to het anything.

Your relationship with Max grew over the years. The two of you melded. You knew how to tame the Mad Max that fought to escape, and he knew how to soothe your tears.

You found solice in each other. Stability in your friendship. A love you both were willing to fight for.

Which happened a lot.

Neither of you knew how to communicate properly. Resulting in hard arguments and yelling matches. One of you is always shutting down before any real reconciliation can happen.

Christian got to be a father to both of you in this way. Coaching you two on how to express your feelings healthily. He was routing for you two. Knowing both your fathers weren't the best, you and Max needed to learn and love with someone safe. He was glad to take you both under his wing.

Then you were able to flourish. You started smiling more. Your eyes lost the bags from underneath them.

Max started opening up more. Standing up to his father slowly became easier. His smile and silly attitude got to be more prominent.

You started showing affection to each other in public. Openly spending time with the other. Not caring what either of your fathers thought.

After all, you were both adults. Right?

You thought everything was going to be over when you moved in with Max. You were nervous about it, mainly because you were self-conscious about your body. Nevertheless, you knew it would be a good change.

~

It was a soft moment between you two. Your giggles as Max left chaft kisses all over your face made him smile.

He felt bad for looking. He knew you were struggling with insecurities, and he wanted to respect your privacy.

But as your shirt inches up your body, he catches sight of the dark marks along your hips and torso.

He immediately stopped everything. His breathe hitched in his throat.

You looked where his eyes had landed. The secret finally out. One part of you wanted to be relieved, but right now you were panicking. Your brain reeling with every possible outcome.

You did the first thing that came to mind. You apologized. You begged him not to tell anyone. Tried to convince him that it was your own fault. Your breath becoming more uneven with every word.

Max was taken off guard. He knew it had been bad, but he’d never seen it and you’d never shown him. His emotions were bubbling to the surface rapidly. But you didn’t need him to be angry with your father right now.

He removes his hands from your body to give you space. He didn’t want to scare you anymore then he already had. “Don’t apologize, none of that is your fault, okay.” It felt like he was trying to soothe a wild animal. “Can I hold you?”

You nodded your head yes. Eyes moving rapidly to every sound. Your senses hyper aware of everything happening.

He reached out for you slowly, making sure to stay within eye view. Something that helped him when he’d come to you. Slowly you made your way into his arms. Basking in the way he felt like safety.

“We don’t have to talk about it now, but when you’re ready I’m going to spend hours kissing all your bruises better.”

~

The next morning, Max took it slow. You both were needed at the track but he wasn’t in a rush. He wanted to give you time. You’d fallen asleep in his arms. Him soothing every tear that ran down your cheeks.

When you two arrived together, he made his way through the back entry with you in tow. Attempting to avoid cameras and your father. He needed to make sure you got somewhere safe first before he even attempted talking to his lead engineer.

He immediately went to Christian. His face when he saw you two approach made Max want to turn around.

“I can see on your face that you want to punch someone.” Christian sighs in exasperation.

Max looks between his team principal and you. Words now refusing to form in his mouth. How was he supposed to explain this? “Can Y/N stay with you while I run around doing things.”

Christian hesitates, confusion evident. “Only if you tell me what’s going on.” He could see you were in pain. You looked like you’d been crying.

Max leaned into whisper. Worried about cameras and the nearing possibility of your father spotting you two. “It’s worse then we thought.”

Christian rubbed his temples. Motioning for Max and you to follow him into his office. The door closing the a soft click behind them. Neither sat down, the anxiety too much for either of them.

Christian was trying to get a read off of you. You, however, had yet to even look at him. Your body language had reverted back to when you were small. When he let you pretend to work on the cars. It hurt him.

He was about to say something when a knock sounded at the door. A rough knock. A familiar knock. You flinched away from the door. Your survival instincts kicking in.

Christian motioned for you two to sit down. Max gently gripping your wrist to get you to follow him. You flicked unintentionally but he just looked at you knowingly. You needed to move and he was just trying to help.

You sit down across from Christian. Max’s leg was bouncing up and down so fast you thought he might put a hole in the floor.

“Come in.”

You don’t turn around when the door closes. You can hear his breathing. Aware of his every move without even seeing him. Fighting every urge to run away.

“Oh- I was looking for Y/N. We need to go over some data.” He picked up on your fear. You knew it as he walked directly behind you. His hand gripping your shoulder.

You flinched and turned away from his hand. The tension in the room was to thick for you to breath. Max was already out of his chair and ready to connect his fist with anything.

Christian put his hands in between the two men. Aware of the still open door and people peaking inside.

You were trying to cower away from the aggression. Away from the onlookers. Into the safety of Max.

“I think Y/N was busy going over some things with Max, but I’d be happy to look at it.” Christian gave his best attempt at a neutral smile.

Your father was growing angrier. It’s the first time he’d openly tried anything. The grip he had on your shoulder already bruising.

“Busy doing what? Trying to ruin her future even more?”

Max saw red. He was already angry, but now he’d crossed a line. He knew he shouldn’t have done it. However, the feeling of his fist connecting with the jaw of your fathers was to satisfying for him to care.

Your father reeled backwards. His hands clutching his face.

You jump from the chair. Finding refuge behind Max's body.

Max was ready to go for another swing. Before he could lunge, Christian grabbed his shoulder.

"Why don't you Teo cool off in Max's driver room. I'll come find you later."

Max didn't move. His chest heaving. The two men willing eachother to make a move.

You take Max's wrist. Gently trying to lead him through the door.

You, however, didn't get far. Your father knew something was wrong the second he saw you come into the garage. He’d been around Max long enough to know that he’s a protector. He knew that if you wanted, you could ruin his entire life.

So, he lunged for you. Grabbed hold of your hair and pulled. You were in his grip again before Max could even register what was happening.

“Max, go get security.”

“But-“

“Your going to be faster then me.”

Reluctant, Max sprints out of the garage. Making his way swiftly to the nearest security checkpoint. He was grateful it was only Thursday. The amount of fans in the paddock significantly less and he didn’t have to drive with his adrenaline already so high.

You were silently pleading that Christian is able to talk some sense into your father. His previously free hand now covering your mouth.

You’d been here before. Breath. Hold. Exhale. Repeat. The mantra you’re mind recited through your entire childhood.

You could see Christian saying words but couldn’t hear them. He was trying to get closer but the hold on you became stronger with each step he took.

Your mind goes blank for a moment. Your body present but your mind dissociated. You can see the interactions take place, but you don’t feel present, or even real.

He is shaking you now. Your body jostling. Then the floor. More footsteps.

Max.

He’s leaning over you. Checking to see if your okay. You can see the panic in his eyes. A soft blue that you will your mind to latch onto.

You can hear him now. He’s whispering to you. “Your safe now” falling like a prayer from his lips.

Max cradles you in his arms. Holding you close as the noises of your father struggling slowly get quieter.

Christian also appeared at eye level. Crouching down beside the two of you. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t see it.”

“I didn’t want to cause my trouble.”

“You never cause trouble.” A smile ghosts across Christian’s face for a moment. “Your dad will not be allowed back into the paddock. And you already know, but if you ever need a place you’re welcome at our home.”

~

Unfortunately, the events that transpired were within view of people and cameras. Christian deemed it a ‘family emergency’ and let you two go back to the hotel. Leaving the media Max needed to do for tomorrow and Checo to replace Max at the press conference.

Now you and Max lay facing each other on the bed. Neither has said very much. Only trying to process the events.

Then you remember something Max said last night. “Can you kiss it better please?”

Max smiled softly and inched himself closer to you. “Stop me if it becomes to much.” You nod at him.

He lifts up your Redbull polo uniform just above your waistline. Placing gently kisses to every place on your body that your father had marked in some way.

He pulled you into him after he finished. The two of you just staying their. Embracing the new possibility of peace you’d both wanted for so long.

[nymphia-tarot]

✞︎ All About Your Past Life 🦢🩶

pile 1 ----> pile 2

pile 3 ----> pile 4

🕊️ meditate on the pics and pick whichever one calls to you the most. you might feel drawn to more than one pile, which means you may have messages in other piles for you as well! if you don't feel particularly drawn to any pile, the messages in this reading might not be intended for you. since this is a general reading, take what resonates! 🕊️

🩶Pile 1

For my pile 1s I'm getting a lot of yall had very hard and stressful lives 😭 You might have faced a lot of societal and systematic problems which kept you worried throughout your life. With the world rx I'm getting that yall were deeply unsatisfied with the way your life progressed in the past and that there were a lot of regrets and unfulfilled wishes in the end. You were very intelligent and clever and it helped you survive the tough times though you might've been denied of a formal education due to your background and were kinda inhibited in a way from reaching your full potential. But from some of you, I'm getting that you did get to pursue the field you wanted initially but it didn't pan out due to practical issues and you had to abandon your own happiness. For some of you, I'm getting like street thug or thief? Where you were involved in illegal stuff and did a lot of questionable shit to survive and in the end it cost you a lot. I'm getting overall that money was a big issue in your life. However, you guys were very mentally strong people who had a "come what may" attitude towards hardships because you were so used to it.

You might've been in love with someone (I'm getting a woman) of high status in society but you couldn't dare to court her due to the difference in your social positions. For your career, it's like no matter how hard you worked it was extremely difficult to get to where you wanted and you might've also been burdened with the worries of feeding and supporting you family because you were the primary provider. Eventually, you ended up in a conventional marriage, probably arranged too, but you were never satisfied with your spouse truly. You always yearned after someone else (the lady mentioned earlier?) and couldn't give your heart to your spouse fully. For some of you guys, I'm getting you were a woman forced into a marriage with someone you didn't love just to provide for your family and fell in love with someone else (a foreign man I'm seeing) and tried to elope but it caused a huge scandal and you ended up homeless and abandoned.

You might've lived during a time where the economic situation and all wasn't really the best and the common folk were always under the worry of starving the next day. I'm getting like, a cold place too? You had to give up a lot of your dreams for the sake of either other people or due to the bad luck handed to you during your lifetime. It's like you lost sight of your purpose in life at the end and ended up deeply unhappy.

🩶Pile 2:

[TW: mentions of abuse‼️⚠️]

Pile 2, I'm getting you guys grew up in an affluent or well-off family. Probably like upper middle-class or something. Many of you guys' fathers were probably some rich businessman/trader. However, I'm getting that you guys had very unhappy childhoods. For some, I'm getting you guys were orphaned early due to an accident and may have been in grief for a long time. The trauma might've stayed with you guys for a good amount of time and it deeply affected you future interactions and capability to have relationships. For others, I'm getting like childhood abuse? By a male figure, or bullying by the rest of your family members, and it deeply impacting your self-confidence. As an adult, you might've closed your heart off entirely but deep down your biggest wish was a desire for a genuine connection free of deception, and true love. You guys were genuine romantics at heart. I'm getting that you guys in pile 2 didn't really marry at all and that romance wasn't really a big part of your life.

Spirituality was a major part of life for some in this pile and you guys might've become nuns that swore a vow of chastity or just some other religious/spiritual figure who inspired and taught people. My pile 2s are very nurturing and gentle souls deep down and it seems like people may be drawn to your warmth and caring personality. You guys provided comfort to a lot of people in your past life. Even if you weren't a religious figure, I'm getting that you were in some sort of position where you took care of people like a nurse or something. After a certain point in your adult lives, you guys took to travel: for some it was a spiritual journey, for others it was just a normal journey to aid those in need and help the impoverished in society like maybe social workers. You guys had innate spiritual gifts and intuition and your purpose in life was to help people. Very kind souls overall. Many people might've looked to you as a wise and knowledgeable figure in your later years and you became a symbol of knowledge and learning in your community. You might have even travelled from place to place to spread your knowledge and aid people.

In this life, a lot of you guys in pile 2 might be very passionate and dedicated individuals with a zest for life. Maybe a water sign too? Or like prominent water placements in chart. I feel like your past life purpose carried over to your current one as well and you might be very spiritual and intuitive people. "Learn to let go of your fears and let loose" is what I'm hearing?

🩶Pile 3:

Pile 3, It seems a big theme surrounding the energy of your past life was a certain lack of control you had regarding your destiny and choices. You might've been born to a life where you were put under heavy obligations and duties because of your position. You must have felt really restricted and burdened, as if there are eyes all over you, and pressure from everywhere, to the point you felt really burdened and suffocated. You might have been born at a time and place where there was a lot of upheaval and chaos and you were a key figure regarding the events, or at least you played a part in maintaining the balance of the situation no matter how small. For a huge part of your life, you might have been a part of a "higher order" (whatever that means) where you had to maintain a strong front. Perhaps there was a lot of conflict involved in your era and you were forced to participate or mitigate the issue. For some, I'm getting you had a very strict and controlling maternal figure in your life who made all your choices for you and shoved you into the path you were headed without really giving you any free will. And fir some, I'm getting a vindictive and malicious feminine figure of authority who posed as a thorn throughout your life.

There seems to be a lot of trickery and manipulation surrounding your relationships in this past life reading. Perhaps due to your position, there were a lot of malicious individuals who coveted your downfall. There were a lot of lies, backstabbing and secrecy involved in your interpersonal relationships, most likely due to the chaotic situation fate had handed to you. It was as if you could never fully trust anyone around you with your back. Due to these complications, it seems you never really found someone to commit yourself to.

One of your biggest desires in your past life that went unfulfilled was a desire to take charge and carve out your own path by yourself. You had to live in constant worry and fear of betrayal and death. Quite a lot of you in pile 3 were those who had a more creative streak to you and maybe what you really desired was to start a business of your own or to pursue the arts. A lot of you ended up as martyrs in your life which was the necessary step to pave the path for everyone's happiness but it ultimately made you sacrifice your own. I'm getting a lot of you also just wanted to live a life if simplicity in a small-scale area or community, away from the burdens of your position. An advice spirit is telling my pile 3s is to "drive out the negative influences and to take back your power".

🩶Pile 4:

Whoo pile 4 you guys are the most "tame" pile so far in the sense that you guys probably led the "happier" life compared to the other piles lol. The other piles' energy were so heavy 😭

I think my pile 4s were leading relatively simple and cosy lives but I'm getting that work/career was a significant source of stress for you guys in your lives. You guys were hard workers who probably worked in a job where you had to collaborate with or meet a lot of people. Maybe you guys were severely burnt out by your work to the point you felt your spark diminishing. Or perhaps life was so easy that you felt bored and wishing for adventure and excitement. You guys were very grounded and stable individuals however. I'm getting there might have been a lot of workplace drama in your lives though. Your co-workers may not have had your best interests at heart and you might have gotten cheated or manipulated by them. I'm getting workplace injustice. They took advantage of your kindness and giving nature and used it to exploit you. You might have even gotten framed for something you had no hand in and had to suffer for it.

You were, however, very loved and abundant when it came to suitors and friends. You might have even gotten a lot of love offers and proposals. You eventually ended up in a happy marriage with a very sensitive and emotionally mature person who cared a lot for you. I'm getting Aquarius vibes? Your spouse had a lot of love for you in their hearts and was someone who was willing to dive deep into anything for your sake.

I'm getting that a major issue surrounding your past life is work-life imbalance and diminishing creativity/passion. You guys might have been depressed at some point too. Perhaps you were chained to a very conformist lifestyle where you did not get to have a lot of fun. An advice I'm hearing from spirit is to guard your possessions and be wary of whom you give to. Don't just let people take what's yours freely and be open to what's different from the norm from time to time.

[hiseyeisonthesparrow]

hi!

im lds too. I mean kinda. my family got shunned by our ward and then stake and its caused a lot of shakiness in my faith. I want to believe and go back but it's so hard when I share my experiences with others and they mitigate my pain and excuse the actions of the men who caused this. Any tips?

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me!

This is going to sound like the opposite of what you are expecting or wanting to hear, but when everyone else in the world seems to have turned their back on you, the most important thing you can do is build your relationship with God and Christ themselves. Sometimes the only people who will fully understand you is the one who created you (God) and the one who felt all the pain and hurt and misery you have experienced, are experiencing, and will ever experience (Jesus).

Going back to the basics of the Gospel has been really important for me -- instead of challenging my faith by trying to understand complex social issues with strong emotions behind them [stuff like queer membership, race in the priesthood, abortion, et cetera], finding things that I know I can believe and trust is important, even if it's as silly or simple as "I believe that some celestial force out there loves me because I was able to buy my favorite shirt before it sold out forever" or "I believe that being in the temple makes me feel peaceful" rather than things I still can't say with confidence like "I know the church is true" or "I believe the nuclear family unit is eternal".

When Covid struck, I was attending a ward in Utah. We kind of absolutely hated it -- after attending multi-cultural, multilanguage wards our whole life, the sudden plainness and overpopulation of Utah wards was so strange to us. Suddenly, lockdowns happened. Church was online and sacrament meetings were held from our home. The year or two we spent doing "home church" -- a weekly Zoom call with our extended family where our cousins would take turns giving talks, and my deacon brother would pass homemade bread to us -- was one of the most spiritually strengthening experience of my life. After Covid restrictions ended, we couldn't go back to our old ward -- none of them would wear masks, and my youngest brother couldn't get vaccinated. We ended up moving our records to a Portuguese branch half an hour north, and it was one of the best decisions we've ever made.

I don't know what your family situation is like. I am not going to pretend like The Power of Christ Can Heal All Intergenerational Trauma. While Christ did help me learn to love my parents and understand their perspective, it did not take away the fact that they did not support me through my most difficult times. But I will say this: if there is anything you can do to possibly come closer to your family, do it. This is a hard experience for all of you, I can imagine. If there is a way you can strengthen each others' testimonies, it will be unimaginably helpful. Finding others who understand the hardships you are going through is one of the best ways to get through it, and it's really convenient if those people have a) known you your whole life, and b) live with you. It may not work. They may never support you or understand your pain. But try.

Instead of turning to hate those who have hurt you, make an effort to focus your energy on the things of the Gospel that make you feel joy. Making death threats to Dallin H. Oaks will never be as helpful as being a good example for those around you, or learning to love Christ's gospel. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. But to quote Yoda, "Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering" -- for all parties involved. Allow yourself time to grieve, to be angry, to feel hurt. But simultaneously let those feelings be washed away in time by the healing power of the atonement.

If you ever feel alone or unloved by Christ or far from salvation, you are wrong. There are armies here and on the other side of the veil to bring you back to Him. Some of the strongest testimonies I've ever encountered have been here on Tumblr, by people with backgrounds similar to mine. We are here to help you. That's what being Christ's disciple entails -- helping others. Queerstake and Tumblrstake are here for you. I am here for you. Christ is here for you. Reach out with questions about your faith -- we love to answer them.

(Also if there's an opportunity to sneak into another ward or stake's church services, do it. You don't owe anyone an explanation of who you are or why you're there)

Thank you so much for your ask! I hope I answered the question well enough -- if anyone else has anything they think would be helpful, please share it!!

[caustinen]

Hollywood!Clegan AU request.....the proposal (and maybe a little bit of exploring how they handled John's desire to be more public vs. Gale's desire for privacy beforehand?) <3 <3 :)))))

hi dear, thank you for the ask and sorry for delay!! i was vacationing with a lot of people so it was difficult to find time to write anything and i still feel a bit out of the flow but i hope you like it <3

hollywood au! publicity talks and the proposal

initially the decision to date in secret comes from just convinience; john’s career is skyrocketing when they’re still deep in the honeymoon phase and there’s just so much going on that they don’t really even think about it, just start to be careful not to put gale in uncomforatble situations as bucky starts getting also unwanted attention from the public — he doesn’t know how to deal with that even by himself and seeing gale has a natural tendency to shy away from cameras/any attention it feels like a no-brainer. from there, the conversation comes slow but still years before they actually go public; at first, it’s not like a debate they choose to have at a certain moment or something, but it kind of happens naturally over the years — they talk about the public and the hiding and the pros and cons in all differnet contexts anyway — so it’s not a big deal when one day gale casually drops that he’d probably be willing to go through with it if they were married or getting there, kind of making it more long-term commitement despite both already feeling like this is the endgame since early in the relationship and not necessarily needing marriage as an institution to seal that. maybe gale said this very early on, maybe even jokingly, but bucky put it in a box in his head and sealed it.

after five years together talking about almost anything comes naturally, but it’s still a complicated subject so i think it would take quite some time to reach the decision. a lot of it would be filled with flirting too of course since it now involves a possible proposal, with bucky always talking about a hypothetical situation, very unlikely, that he would propose, what would happen then, and gale would tease him back, maybe even saying he’d take the heat of the public just to get access to bucky’s money if they were married or something silly like that. but they both notice the jokes are getting more frequent, and the emotions underneath are very real.

gale is mostly scared people will find shit about him/his family/esp his dad that would bring problems to bucky or revoke his own trauma; he’s no contact with his dad and doesn’t want that whole can of worms in some gossip magazine, and he definitely doesn’t want his dad to be able to make money out of selling his childhood pictures or stories to the media, using his relationship that has healed him to bring up old wounds again. over the years however he’s been able to work through some of his emotional locks with john and the past doesn’t have such a chokehold on him anymore, so it’s not as scary of a thought. the relationship is also established enough that all kinds of commenting can’t shake it as easily as it might have in the beginning. he’s also madly in love with bucky and thinks that it will probably anyway leak through some documentation if they get married so they might as well do it on their own terms! it’ll be easier to buy a house together etc. and just overall the more he thinks about it the more he wants to celebrate their love rather than let the world or the past control the good he has now.

to bucky, to be able to be open about their relationship is also pretty much a must if they get married; he’s tired of living a double life as if gale was some shameful secret, and he doesn’t want to have to hide his love anymore, and he doesn’t want to see gale pretend he’s single and being constantly approched by everyone even when they’re out together. he wants to put a ring on it and leave lovebites on his neck and rave about how talented and hardworking and kind his partner is. luckily they both reach this conclusion around the same time, so despite there of course being some tenseness along the way they both are confident in it when they decide gale will accompany bucky to his next premier.

i might come back to the propsal sometime later because i’m not getting any good ideas right now, but it think i’d like to write it as something quite simple — bucky would know the last thing game would want is some big public event — he’d plan something private and romantic, or maybe it could be even a ’heat of the moment’ type of a thing despite him having planned it for a long time; maybe they’re visiting Wyomming (ofc not for Gale’s parents but maybe old friends or for something else) and you take the man out of the city not the city out the man because gale is still a country girl at heart, he’s relaxed and flirty and laughs more freely than anywhere else when he gets to ride horses and do dirty work at a farm, i could imagine him just excitedly babbling about the day when they’re getting ready for bed and when he turns around after putting his pyjama shirt on Bucky would be on his knees, pulling him closer by the sides and almost teary eyed as he begs him to marry him, that he wants to make gale as happy as he is right then as often as he possibly can and by the time he starts brokenly pleading to get to grow old together with him gale needs to stop him by agreeing before he too starts to cry.

(gale doesn’t have any emotional attachement to his father’s last name but because of business he thinks it’s easier to keep going by it as he’s professionally established with that name. officially he changes it to cleven-egan but bucky knows that nothing gets him going like calling him ’mr egan’ after that; the only thing that has similar effect is calling him ’husband’ 🤍🖤)

thank you for the ask & inspiration!! 💘

[r4bbitmilk]

Hey I really love your art, been a fan for a while, and I'd love to learn more about the Togasaku Family AU! Like when did they have the kids, were they all surprises, what do their friends think of them becoming parents? Thank you for everything you've made so far!

Aaaaa thank you so much for ur support, and for the questions too !! (I haven't fully fleshed out my AU yet, but now is a good opportunity to do so hehe)

Disclaimer: am not a very good writer. Also, this might be really long!

Some notes:

My tgsk family AU mostly involves fem!Togame and fem!Sakura, but regardless of their forms I think they'll be wonderful parents all the same<3 so they're honestly interchangeable !!

While tgsk remains married in my heart mind and soul forever, this AU was actually born out of this silly tweet, so i guess this makes it an omegaverse AU lol !

In my head, tgsk started officially dating shortly after Noroshi arc, though they've liked each other for quite some time already. Reuniting when Sakura went to Shishitoren to ask for help, and then staying in touch while Bofurin rebuilt the town and Sakura recovered. They get closer than ever before, and realize it's love. That's the highschool part of their love story, at least!

Despite ups and downs in their relationship, they make it to their early 20s and move in together. I like to believe they move into Sakura's little apartment at first as they found their footing as adults, sharing the little salaries they had to make things work. What jobs they'd have, I'm still considering it, but I just know Togame's the type to work a lot of odd jobs on the side, earning extra so she can spoil Sakura. That's just the type of person she is.

Togame also really strikes me as a family person, and perhaps she was the one to ask Sakura the difficult question: do you want to start a family? Sakura gets scared at first, because while she's slowly gotten comfortable with giving and receiving affection (at least, around Togame and a few select friends), family is still a difficult subject for her, considering she's never had a loving one of her own.

There's trauma, pain, residual fears left in her heart, and most especially, that nagging voice in her head telling her that she'd never be a good parent. I mean, just look at her.

This part, I thought of while discussing with mutuals on twitter. It was a painful thing to talk about, honestly...

But after Togame planted that question in her head, she starts noticing all the little kids running to the playground she passes by every morning on the way to work. Starts looking longingly at the tiny shoes for sale at the local mall. She even catches herself, one time, smiling wide at a little girl who ran up to her hip, asking her for help to open a ramune bottle.

The space in their shared futon starts feeling colder and wider, like it was missing another body to help warm them up.

It takes a long while to work through her fears, and longer still to build the confidence to actually voice her desires out loud, but through Togame and everyone in Makochi showing her that she's safe and loved, starting a family started not to sound too bad anymore.

To have a family of her own, that she'll raise to be strong and never judge others or oppress the weak... One that she can love and be loved by with all her heart... she takes Togame's hands and says yes. I'd like to think it was the happiest day of Togame's life.

At this point, although they're doing well as adults, they still get shocked at the news that Sakura is carrying twins. Both in happiness and in shock at the financial hurdle this will introduce !!

(The twins are Ruka and Haru, by the way! A girl who has Togame's eyes and fluffy hair and Sakura's snow-white hair color, and a boy with green and blue eyes and Sakura's straighter, dark hair. I designed all the tgsk babies based on ice cream, because I thought it'd look silly-cute)

When the twins become school age, perhaps around 7 years old, the entirety of Makochi is basically their aunts and uncles. Bofurin and Shishitoren especially, who dote on them and spoil them rotten. Although Togame and Sakura have long outgrown their fighting days (but trust me, they can still fight strong !!), their teams still hold get-togethers every once and a while to catch up (and to see their beloved niece and nephew!!)

Suo and Nirei are the most frequent babysitters, with Nirei being the stricter of the two and watching how much sweets they eat and how early they go to bed ("If you want to grow up strong like Sakura-san, you'd do as I say!!"). Meanwhile, Suo sneaks them treats and toys every chance she gets. It's half because they're just so hard to resist, and half because it's a chance to be a devious sneak behind Nirei's back, which is always a past-time Suo enjoys.

The twins are regularly hid from Umemiya though, because God knows how clingy he is with soft little babies. When Ume gets her hands on those two, it'll be 3 days before they're returned to Sakura and Togame's arms (and they suspisciously smell like barbecue !!)

Ruka's quiet and gentle, living life at her own pace much like Togame. One could even say she's lazy, but when she's having fun she has about the same amount of energy as Choji, and they like to joke that maybe she's Choji's daughter, too!

(Choji vows to teach her backflips once she's older, and Togame just shakes her head. "If she gets so much as a scratch on her, we'll have a spar" "You're always so protective, Kame-chan! She'll survive it~").

Haru, on the other hand, keeps more to himself. Not because he doesn't care! He's just very shy (and turns a shade of red that reminds everyone of a certain someone very often). Truthfully, he cares a lot, especially about his family. He just hasn't got the words for it yet.

(Kaji borrows Haru a lot, just to sit on a park bench and listen to music, watching birds hop from one tree to the next. They don't speak much unless its when Haru asks what the song is called, and Kaji smiles and tells him "I'll get you a cd of it later.")

By the time the youngest daughter is born, most of Bofurin and Shishitoren have become full-fledged adults too, with some having families of their own. She's a tiny little thing, that makes all the aunts and uncles in Tonpu Market Street do backflips just to make her laugh. Spoiled, too, by Togame, Sakura, and her older siblings.

(Out of everyone though, Togame loves her the most. She looks the most like Sakura, after all. But she'd never make them feel like there's favoritism at all!)

A family of 5 full of warm laughter and warmer hugs. That's what I wanted Sakura to have, so I ended up making her an entire family. I'll probably add more to it as time goes by, but so far this is my au! Thank you so much for enjoying it ! (and for reading this far, if you have!)

[ongreenergrasses]

How do you interpret the line about Mags "raising" Finnick in the Catching Fire movie? I know many (myself included, at times) consider the movies to be not-canon/a separate canon from the books, but that line has always stuck with me.

Sure, Finnick won at 14 and Mags was his mentor and they're shown to be very close, so I'd bet she took very good care of him in the aftermath of his Games as well as everything else. Because of course she would. That's just Mags's nature! But...that doesn't equate 'raising' somebody. Keeping someone alive, saving their life, comforting them during the worst shit - especially when that person is generations younger - is indeed a lovely thing that might feel inherinetly parental. But it's still not quite raising someone, ya know?

I always saw it as a heavy implication that Snow killed his family so therefore Mags literally did essentially raise him. Or, hey, maybe it was more innocent than that and his actual parents (or older siblings, or other family, etc) died in maybe a fishing accident or shipwreck or something. Hey, maybe he even lost his family before his Games and she raised him from even younger than 14! Or maybe she was just, like, his babysitter or nanny or something! That could also explain why she mentored him at so old when there were likely other options, because she was already protective and already loved him. But...I don't know.

Like, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Mags and Finnick relationship, it's literally my favorite mentor/mentee friendship, even more than the living 12 victors, and I do think she'd take care of him (or any of her tributes) regardless in literally any context. But I just can't make explanations in my head for her raising him (again, even if we discount the movies as canon, which I myself go back and forth about!).

That coupled with the line - in both book AND movie canon, tho granted, said in different contexts - about her being "half his family", really makes it clear that Finnick only has Annie and Mags.

I don't know. it just really makes me think that something happened. Even if he's not super close with his birth family, that doesn't quite justify Mags essentially being implied to be his guardian. And his Mockingjay speech where he goes into detail about what happens if you refuse trafficking. Maybe he learned that personally.

Like it could be as simple as "she was childhood friends with the Odestas and therefore was always a [grand]motherly figure to Finnick even before everything went to hell" but I don't think this is quite the franchise for such a peaceful explanation.

Personally I incorporate the movies as sort of Schrödinger’s canon. some parts are, some parts aren’t. they exist as valid and invalid simultaneously (except for the whitewashing, those people aren’t white). I think the fact that Haymitch says the line is very telling because Haymitch is an outsider looking in…i know a lot of people see all the victors as sort of a nebulous found family like situation, and I don’t think that’s necessarily accurate. it would be hard for them to establish relationships with each other, so how Haymitch knows this is interesting to me. it means it must be more common knowledge that they have a connection beyond just mentorship, even if her being his mentor is the strongest one.

to me, this is another thing that points to Mags having known Finnick before the Games. I don’t think Haymitch would say that otherwise. one of the potential explanations in my eyes is that Finnick’s parents were poorer, potentially lived out of town or far away from where the training center was, and wanted to put him in training. so they put him in training when he was a kid and left, and somehow Mags was either hosting him or became involved in his life.

honestly, I don’t think Finnick’s parents are dead. I think he’s estranged from them, whether that would be because he struggled immensely and had extremely difficult behaviors due to the trauma of winning the Games and being trafficked, so his parents decided he’d be better off being cared for by someone else and left him with Mags, or if it’s because they became estranged for some other reason (a couple I can think of are his family couldn’t accept what he did in the Games and left, or it has nothing to do with what happened in the Games and they left for some other reason).

the reason I don’t think they’re dead is because I do believe Snow learns from his mistakes. with Haymitch, he killed his entire family and his girlfriend as retaliation for what Haymitch did. It was impulsive and it wasn’t thought through, because once they’d died, Snow had very little to hold over Haymitch’s head to force him to cooperate. he would’ve learned that he needs more leverage than that for other victors. he needed significant leverage for Finnick, because Finnick says himself he was the most heavily trafficked, although he doesn’t use those exact words, and it started young, which means he’s less mature, less able to compartmentalize, and more volatile. so it would be better for Snow to keep the majority of Finnick’s family (and personally I think he has a big family, although that is pure hc and speculation and for fun) alive, the more people the better. before he met Annie, who would Snow have to keep Finnick in check besides his family? and knowing who Finnick is, even if they are estranged and have no contact, I believe he would still feel responsible for protecting them. I think they would still be an effective tool for Snow to use.

tldr, I interpret it as that Mags was present in his life from when he was younger somehow, and then he became estranged from his parents and she stepped in fully after his Games. there’s no doubt that by the time we meet him in cf, based on that line from Johanna, the only truly present people in his life are Mags and Annie. they’re the ones he cares for most, and they’re the ones being held over his head.

the last thing I will say although it’s not super relevant so I made it small - speaking from experience, Finnick absolutely could have two parents who were present in his life when he was younger and still not consider them to have raised him. If Mags was the one who was there supporting him and providing for him at his lowest and got him through it, he could absolutely consider her to have raised him instead. but since he never says that in canon and it comes from Haymitch, not super relevant.

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

[darkfictionjude]

I was so focused on the romance that I never gave my thoughts on the family relationships based on the time jump. I feel like I failed as an overthinker (I'm the etymology nonnie by the way, I'm seriously considering beginning to use an special greeting like selfie does on her asks). Not that my opinions have any major weight, yet I like to give my two cents. Probably in part because I think about this story and characters a lot (especially MC and Imre, but followed closely by Lorcan, Percy and Sally).

Of course, I cannot have any sort of categorization when it comes to the family matter. Unlike the romance and the relationship MC has with their body, family is something that is significantly less predictable, or, at least, less viable to put in easy to understand boxes. Not only because there are more individuals involved, but also because the relationships are more complex. Plus, and this cannot be understated, we still don't know how much MC will be able to fix/improve/worsen/cut their bonds with their family in season one. Because of this, we don't have a more or less defined start as we do with the RO's. For all I know, at the end of episode 13 MC leaves their family behind, for example. And if that happened, any speculation I do that begins from another possible perspective would be, if not pointless, most likely fruitless.

Yet, I must admit, is an interesting topic to think about. It's clear to me that family is something you want to explore with this IF. The latest update made it definitive if there was ever any doubt.

At the same time, as much as this relationships are given importance, I also think is very early to say where they're going. MC is barely capable of noticing the cracks with their relationship with Sally, and can easily deny them. MC is still too far from establishing their own personhood to actually build a closer relationship with Percy. MC has not even talked with Victor, and is doubtful trying to talk with Prudence would give anything at this point.

From this, then, we can conclude that the place MC is in their route towards personhood, or in their character arc, is of great importance to define if the relationships with their family can go anywhere. But it's also important to note that the family also seems to not be ready to get closer to MC.

Victor, even if he feels some fondness for MC (although only compared to Prudence, and only in the flashbacks so far), is distant. So much so he has not interacted with MC yet. For what MC knows, he could be secretly dead. His avoidance of everything probably would not be very helpful at building a relationship with MC, or anyone for that matter.

Prudence most likely hates MC wholeheartedly. I'm not sure if any affection that was once felt survives. And from her POV, MC is the root of (most of) all the problems and tragedies in her life. She needs too heal a lot, and even if she does, I'm not sure she'll ever want to get closer to MC. Especially with Orla's shadow being so ever present.

Sally. Dear Sally. He is probably the one who some would believe is the easiest to get closer to. Yet, I disagree with such notion. His own trauma, involving being parentified, and the way he sees MC, simply make it a lot more difficult than it would be otherwise. After all, MC is not only infantalized by Sally, but Sally does not seen MC as an individual. I'm not saying he doesn't see MC as human, but in a way MC is closer to pet than to a sibling. So, even if MC actually improves, they would have to work a lot for Sally to recognize it, and to be able to actually listen MC.

Finally, Percy is, in my opinion, the easiest one to get closer too. Not easy, however. Percy is closed off, and a part of him resents MC. And his has a lot of his own traumas to work through. But, unlike Sally, he does treat MC as an individual, and as an adult. Sure, Percy is insensitive and rude when it comes to mental illnesses, but he listen to what MC says and doesn't immediately refute it as the ramblings of a kid.

Overall, I think this was mostly a pointless ask. Simply because I just reproduced what I have said in previous ones, and because I cannot speculate about season 2. Which is the only worthwhile conclusion of this rambling. There are too many unknowns about how the relationships evolve (or not) in season 1 to determine how they are going to be able to be experienced in season 2. Or how we could conceive how they change during the time jump.

That said, I do invite another nonnies and non nonnies, as well as you dear Jude, to debate me if they disagree with me. Or if they think there is something more to add that I have not considered.

I must admit I'm probably making this worst on myself. Since now I'm very excited for season 2. And we are not even at half of season 1 💀. So, don't despair (of despair, if you dislike my long ramblings), because I'll come back in the future when we the story advances! Till then, other thoughts may bring me here.

You know what’s funny? When I conceived of this IF I didn’t think family would be such a major theme. I thought “MC’s family is fucked oh well they’ll make a new one with the ROs” they weren’t going to have such a big role in MC’s life from episode 1 on. But then I kept thinking about it, I thought if MC is like this then how are the other siblings? They couldn’t have gotten unscathed from their childhoods and then I got into how much our family shapes our lives and what we become for good or for bad. It become such a rich avenue to explore

Victor is very old school father in that he believes mental illness is something you can just stop and when MC couldn’t he just threw money at the problem praying it would go away.

Prudence does view MC as the nucleus of the ruin of her and Orla’s life.

The stand outs to me on what you said is how Sally is the hardest to get a revolution in his relationship with MC while also seemingly be the closest family member to them. Very true, it’s hard to respect someone you love when you don’t them as a person but more an extension of yourself. An interesting someone said was that MC and Sally are actually not close at all, truly they’re distant as Sally doesn’t really MC and vice versa

And yeah it’s not an assured thing that Percy and MC will ever be super close a la Sally and MC but they could get to a better place. It’s especially fun if you choose options for MC when talking to Percy that makes them seem so similar to him in terms of humour

Yeah I’m so excited about season 2 and it’s so far away 😭😭😭 if only I could just snap my fingers and have episodes written magically

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

Let's talk about Online Grooming

(TRIGGER WARNING: As the title suggests, this post talks about grooming and sexual abuse. Reader discretion *HEAVILY* advised). I'm sure most of you already know about this (Especially if you're involved in gaming), but for those who don't or are just finding out (like me lol), YandereDev- yes, *THAT* YandereDev, was recently outed as a predator, and was revealed to have groomed a minor. Now, I've seen multiple conflicting posts on this, so I won't be getting too deep into it. If you'd like more info on it, I advise checking out this video from callimara. However, one thing I do want to point out regarding this subject, is the victim continuously defending her abuser, which has unfortunately resulted in victim blaming from multiple of YanDev's supporters. And that's actually why I'm making this post in the first place. While grooming can be done both online and offline, this mostly focuses on online grooming, as well as E-CSA, which is something I don't see talked about often at all. This gets pretty triggering, so if you don't have the stomach to handle this, go back now. Lastly, YanDev defenders and 'Narc Abuse' believers do NOT fucking touch this. You WILL be blocked on sight.

What is Grooming?

Grooming is a series of abusive behaviors that are used by abusers as a means to establish a relationship with their victim to eventually exploit. While it can be used with any form of abuse, the most common is sexual abuse, particularly towards children. What is E-CSA? E-CSA is the use of technology or the internet to sexually abuse children. This can be done in many ways, and one of the most common forms of E-CSA is grooming. How grooming occurs.

Predators will usually pretend that they are a minor themselves in order to get with their victim, which can make it difficult to identify a predator. Offenders will usually try to develop a bond with their victim, typically using the promise of gifts or something else. Disturbingly, offenders might resort to threats, or manipulate their victim into accepting their behavior. Once the victim is vulnerable, the offender may make an advance onto their victim. The offender may also try to isolate their victims from their friends and family, making the abuse worse. When called out on their abuse, some offenders might also deflect their blame on the victim, making it harder for the victim to seek justice (Does "Colleen Ballinger" ring a bell to some of you?) Why might victims defend their abusers? Unfortunately, a lot of victims tend to defend their abusers as well. To make it clear: This does NOT make the abuse okay nor does it mean the victim was at fault. There are multiple reasons why abuse victims, grooming victims or otherwise, will defend their abusers, the most common reasons being: -The victim might be thinking the abuse was normal, and are in denial that they were abused. -The victim is being threatened by the abuser. -The victim might have developed a genuine bond with their abuser. This is what's known as "Stockholm Syndrome" or "Trauma Bonding". Victims with disabilities such as autism might also have trouble realizing that they were abused. The victim's environment can also have an impact. Signs of grooming: -Heavy age gaps. This one depends on how old two folks were when they met. -Sexualized behavior, especially if that person is a minor. -Isolation. -Being secretive. And so much more. What to do if you have been groomed: -If you can, cut off contact with the abuser and contact authorities. -Remind yourself that it's not your fault. -If you can afford it, consider getting a therapist to check in with your mental health. -If you have met up with the groomer and have had sexual contact with them, get a STD test just to be safe. STDs can result from sexual abuse. -Additionally, if you are someone who can get pregnant, get a pregnancy test. Additionally, if you know someone who has been groomed, tell them any of the above. My Experiences: Unfortunately, I myself was groomed online many times by different people. However, the experience I'm sharing is the one that impacted me the most. The abuse happened on Discord and at times DeviantArt and Hangouts, but mostly Discord (Sidenote: If I see you making a "Discord Mod" or "Discord kitten" joke, you'll be blocked /srs. I hate that I even have to say this). I was 10, and he was 16 at the time. The abuse first started via roleplay, which was normal at first, but then it started to become sexual. And me, being the naive fucker I was, didn't even notice it was wrong. And I thought it was okay because we were both minors. (There is also the chance he could've been lying about being 16, however I have no intentions on digging that up). People were quick to catch what was happening, however, instead of helping me, most folks got mad at me for it and I ended up banned from a server as a result (The reason for the ban was "NSFW"- even though I wasn't the only person posting such). This also resulted in a series of harassment which has negatively impacted my mental health. The harassment has since stopped, but it still hurts me to this day.

The harassment from others led to me getting closer with my abuser, which resulted in the grooming continuing for atleast two more years. It was only after someone intervened (via even more traumatic methods, but I'll spare you the details) in which the roleplay stopped. However, thanks to a friend (Who had recently been promoted to mod within the same community the abuse occured in) who eventually enlightened me on what actually happened, I was able to cut off contact with him for good. I will admit, I still feel guilty for letting this happen, though I am working on it! At this time, I don't plan on reporting my abuser to authorities, nor will I be able to since I unfortunately lost most screenshots of the abuse (That, and this individual isn't in the same US state, so it'd be kinda difficult to do so).

[chounaifu]

Since it's Sunday and the topic of the this day is always centered around dating, sexuality/gender preferences, etc., here's some thoughts about this guy:

Dating/getting romantically involved with Proton is a really complicated process. There's definitely an allure and curiosity that comes with him because of his status in the underground, and his unique, attractive features. It's understandable why people are drawn to Proton.

Keeping him as healthy company requires understanding that he is mentally ill and physically disabled.

There are a lot of things that he can and cannot do, depending on the day and whether or not his Fragmentation Syndrome is flaring up. Physical touch and activity can be extremely painful for him on low functioning days. He needs to be able to trust that his partner is going to be patient and help him.

Mentally, Proton has many traits of AuADHD, and has experienced a lot of physical and mental trauma related to racism, prejudice, food insecurity, poverty, violence and assault. His coping mechanisms aren't exactly the healthiest. He's prone to lashing out and getting defensive, both verbally and physically, if he feels as though he is unsafe, or someone is getting combative.

Anybody who Proton would consider a partner, needs to understand these things, and be willing to create safe and comfortable boundaries for both parties in order to have a fulfilling relationship with the guy.

In terms of where he lands on the gender/sexuality spectrum? It's something that Proton is still unpacking. He grew up with a lot of toxic and misogynistic beliefs that he has had to unlearn. Someone on the outside looking in would probably classify Proton as pansexual, but he hasn't come to that conclusion yet. He just uses the word 'queer'. He's attracted to people with queer lifestyles. Gender expression is also complicated to him; unlearning gender roles and stereotypes for clothing, behavior and appearance is an ongoing task. Interestingly enough, he has had an easier time expressing himself since his accident. Something about a near-death experiences forced him to live a little more authentically. He uses He/Him pronouns, but, They/Them would probably apply to him in the future once he feels more secure in being "different," so to speak.

In terms of building for the future? He's very unlikely to want to start a family. He's actually unable to reproduce because of Fragmentation Syndrome, for starters, but he already has a difficult enough time taking care of himself to begin with. And he doesn't take to children at all. Sure, he interacts with younger characters from time to time, but, he has no paternal drive. He's also unlikely to pursue potential partners if they have their own children already.

All in all, it takes work with Proton, like it does with anybody else. But there's some specifics that needed to be invested in for someone to achieve a long-term dynamic with the guy.

HOOK UPS THOUGH? That's easy. Just don't expect him to call you back unless he really liked you.