#but like. idk I can't really get mad at stuff I've seen people be made about regarding things like sonics decisions

[rapidhighway]

the thing with sonic 3 is I can't even be too mad at it. I knew that was going to happen. i love action too much. sonic and shadow had a high speed chase, shadow did the akira slide up a fucking building and then they beat each other up on the moon man. i am a weak weak man when it comes to cool as fuck action scenes and they made that movie for me, I was partly blind to everything else that was happening tbh. I actually will have to rewatch this movie to say anything coherent about it

[fandomfuntimem]

Dp x Dc or just Dp things I (personally) want to see more of.

Just some stuff I've seen and really liked but never see enough of.

Danny is very casually a genius and/or skilled (engineering, gymnastics, really any skill you pick):

There isn't enough of it tbh. I dont think people realise just how smart and skilled he is. Being a ghost probably made him very flexible and gave him extra abilities the average human may not have. Also he comes from a family of scientists, yeah maybe up against them he doesn't seem smart, but being "smart" comes in different forms. More often than not the ability to be smart comes from your ability to pick up on things, retain information, understand information, and use that information accordingly. Danny does that, especially with his villains. He even finds outside the box ways to defeat his villains. Like tricking Freakshow into becoming a ghost.

I just think its under utilized. A lot of Teen heros are geniuses but no one ecknowledges it. Hell, you can make it that Danny doesn't even realise just how smart he is. He doubts it and often thinks he's one of the dumber people in the room. But when sleep deprived and running on a cup of coffee he can solve a problem he hasn't even seen before the konk out for an hour.

Danny has BEEF with the JL or isn't outright a fan:

In a lot of fics the JL (especially Batman) are huge hypocrites. Like they'll barge into Amity trying to solve problems that don't even effect them, screw things up more, then offer Danny more training. Hello????? You guys being there caused the problem???? Then, in other things Batman preaches about territory and Danny will get threatened or treated with suspicion for even stepping foot NEAR Gothem, but then barges into his territory like its his buisness.

Let Danny call them out. Let him point out that everything has been fine untill they showed up. Let him get MAD. This is HIS territory, HIS haunt, HIS people. These guys have done nothing for him! Why should he accept their help when their help only makes things worse? In fics where they help him because he needed it and ended up in Gotham let him be suspicious and careful. He doesn't need to be vivasected or hurt to be warry of the crime fighting furries he just met.

Mans has the experience to know you can't trust anyone untill they prove you can.

Danny should be casually overpowered and spooky:

This isn't even he has to be experienced. He is so used to his powers he doesn't realise how scary it is. He will casually stop a punch from superman, laugh, quipe, then punch back.

He accidentally breaks stuff, walks through things, glows, its so normal for him. He apologizes and does it again because he forgot. He genuinly has no idea how strong he is, he just knows he needs to be soft on humans.

Danny and Phantom are very different personalities:

I'm not saying they're two different people. They have the same mind same person. But the way they act is so different. Danny is grumpy, quiet, whimpy. Danny is a loser, and everyone knows it. Phantom, on the other hand, is confident, he jokes, smiles, makes a game out of his struggles, he's strong. Phantom is just a good guy. Everyone (minus others) loves him!

This happens because Danny is more comfortable as Phantom or Vise Versa. Sertant trates carry over, they're nerds, they're smart, they enjoy a good pun, they're sassy. But because Danny is a loser everyone sees it as lame, but with Phantom its endearing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

None of this means you need to get rid of silly nerdy Danny. You can have that but all these other things ad depth to his character. Hes smart but not confident, he's kind but not naive, he's powerful but not violent, and he finds comfort in the fact no one knows him.

Idk. I'm not a big fanfic writer so i thought i would just share and see what others do with it.

[admirange]

Ok this is a hot take and I know for a fact people will get mad at me, but after playing the 8th episode, I don't think it was that bad people were saying it was.

Maybe because all my friends, even family tease eachother in similar ways like the office scene in the episode, just funnier bc yk. Irl jokes are always funnier. And before anyone mentions it, I also do have traumas from harrassment, fucked me up hard, still couldn't heal from it entirely. I just didn't see this episode that way. And no, I did not enjoy every aspect of the story.

First of all, I saw a lot of people calling the characters coworkers, and while that's true, it's mentioned sooo many times in the episodes that they are friends. Some are childhood friends even. That's a pretty important information to add.

As I said, the office teasing was pretty lighthearted imo. I already made this example but will say it again, how many sitcom series do these same things? And do we get mad at the writers for it? (I'm sure some people are, but not the average person). If Roy was really uncomfortable with the jokes I'm sure he would've told everyone and they'd stop. But again, it's just teasing between friends.

Now onto the next part, I do agree spying on him is not right. I took the route of going but telling him about it, so idk what happened if you didn't. But he didn't seem angry throughout the episode. The characters being excited about it was kinda weird I admit that one, but couldn't help but draw a comparison between this and How I met your mother. It's my fav sitcom, and the characters sometimes get excited to humiliate/tease eachother as well. Would it be acceptable irl? Not at all. But it's fictional. I think it's important to see how the victim sees these situations as well, and as I said, I didn't feel like Roy was uncomfortable.

However I agree this episode is on thin ice since everyone's boundaries are different. Sexual jokes are too early to make. The main issue is still beemoov rushing everything.

Well I feel like I also have to add that it's usually hard for me to get angry with fictional stories. If it's bad, I just leave. Come on people, you're getting mad at an otome game. It really seems ridiculous when we take a few steps back. No, I'm not saying forming negative opinions is not allowed, it very much is, I did too in this post. But I've seen so hateful comments lately (okay not just lately, I see it under every post about Eric too), it's not normal to be this mad about a game.

Beemoov probably already saw the complaints, they said the episodes can't be rewritten once published, and I believe they'll probably try to do better in the future. I'm not being naive, I know their stuff, good and bad (mostly bad), been playing for 10 years. They are currently working on redoing the style contest voting as well, because we complained.

The point is, just try not being this hateful. I completely understand being pissed at beemoov, we have reasons for that. But attacking other players for their opinions, really? This behaviour is ruining the fandom, not the company.

[sunsetsover]

I don't think people say GMMTV is sabotaging FK; the correct word would be neglecting. GMMTV neglects FK, and it is extremely obvious if you pay attention.

idk what exactly prompted this ask bc i made that post like a week ago and from what i can tell it hasn't really got any notes for the past few days and i haven't even been online so maybe this is just something that had been bothering you? idk but. and i don't mean to be rude when i say this! but i must say i don't like the tone of this. i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was accidental, but jsyk this came off as very passive aggressive, like im somehow an idiot for not seeing it. and i will tell you that i have definitely seen people accusing gmmtv of sabotaging fkt and thk, which as i said is silly, but yes some do say that! i've seen it with my own two eyes lmao

like literally today i saw someone on twitter saying exactly this bc the gmmtv twt account posted upcoming events for the next week. now mind you! first is LITERALLY on holiday with his family rn, so how (and more importantly why) do they expect him to have events next week? well when someone mentioned that in the replies, their response was just 'well clearly you don't see it the way i do' which ?? what way is that ?? that he's on holiday?? that he can't be in two places at once??? and other people in the replies were like 'well why can't khaotung have solo events!' and it's like ?? idk maybe bc he's at home gaming, hanging out with his sister and playing his instruments ?? maybe it's bc the two of them are CLEARLY on a break and just bc khaotung is still at home doesn't mean he's not RESTING??

and yes i'm mad about that kind of stuff! it comes off as so selfish and spoilt!! and not to make everything about bts but bts have this exact same issue w some fans to the point where armys literally came up w a name for to refer to these kind of fans: mantis (manager+anti). an explanation of what that means from reddit (bc it's better than i could ever explain it): 'Mantis are antis who essentially hide behind “stanning” so much that they themselves feel like they know the group, and their career, better than the group does. These are the fans constantly trying to "protect" them, beyond normal levels. The type to think they are constantly mistreated/tortured by the company and don't get to make any decisions of their own. Also tend to call out other fans "for not being real fans" if they don't join in on the concern.' like literally i read some of stuff some (emphasis on SOME) fkt fans say and it literally is like. i have played these games before!

and listen i'm not gonna pretend i know much of anything abt that company. i'm new here as it is and i really don't pay attention to any other actors or shows or whatever to compare it to so im deffo not the authority in this regard!

but all that said i 1000% get the impression that there are some fans that kinda... infantilise fkt when it comes to their work. like they have no choice or agency and gmmtv are keeping them locked in a basement somewhere. and i do believe that the majority of them mean well (altho i do think a lot of them want/expect way too much from fkt but i'll get to that), but it's almost as if they forget they're grown men who are more than capable of advocating for themselves. i mean fucking hell, was it not them aggressively advocating for themselves for years that got them put on a show together in the first place? first and khaotung are clearly not people who have difficulty going after what they want, esp when together. i've heard that fkt are notoriously picky about which scripts they accept, which doesn't sound to me like people who are really being neglected by their company. neglected actors don't get the luxury of being picky about jobs. neglected actors are lucky to get any jobs.

(and this goes for events and stuff too, which is a common gripe i've seen. in my opinion - and this is just mine! - people who take their acting as seriously as first and khaotung may not want to take loads of events where they're essentially glorified salesmen. and i mean that with no shade bc make that bag always, but as i see it that's all those events are - extra money in their pockets. i can't see how they would do anything for their career really. and doesn't it just make sense that if they're picky abt their jobs that would also extend into events and stuff too? like? i mean ppl are free to disagree w me on this bc this is just my opinion but yknow. i just think ppl make this into a bigger thing than it is)

and funnily enough i also saw a thread on twt the other day abt how fkt are much bigger internationally than they are in thailand. the shows they've opted to do (again, opted, bc they have a choice) are shows that allegedly don't appeal to a domestic market like most other gmmtv shows do. and so, no matter how you or i might feel abt it, from a business pov it makes sense that they might not be getting the opportunities some other actors might be getting if there simply just isn't demand for it domestically. which sucks, but if that's how it is, that's how it is.

and don't get me wrong i completely get viciously advocating for your faves ok? im an army. for half of bts' career fans were all they had. but sometimes that advocacy becomes a) kinda ridiculously demanding given the context and b) almost condescending. or very condescending sometimes. this goes for bts and fkt both. and while it's all well and good wanting things for them, all i'm saying is let's not forget that they are grown men who are not new to this business. not to mention the fact they have a known track record of advocating for themselves, or the fact that they enough scripts coming their way to be able to be picky, or the fact that already have a new show lined up. first has two even! and a show currently airing! and a cameo that just aired like last week! and another one we know is coming! like my god these are not men who are hurting for work rn.

and in my humble opinion, coming to learn about this industry relatively recently, i think ppl expect too much from these actors overall. i think a lot of them - fkt included - work a hell of a fucking lot actually. i think demanding much more is just selfishness. if im honest. like yes it's nice to see them doing events and stuff. but it's not necessary. and i'll be honest! would i like more interviews and magazines and things like that? sure! but like i said if the demand isn't there, neither will the offers be. that's just the reality of what it is! i'm not going to be sending trucks about it lmfao

the bottom line is this: i'm not saying gmmtv do or don't neglect them. i don't have enough information to have a strong enough opinion one way or the other. but from the outside looking in they seem to be doing just fine. they've got work. they've seemingly got money. and like i said, they're grown men. this is their careers. if they have issues with one thing or another, i trust that they will address those issues as they see fit between themselves and their company. until the day that first and/or khaotung themselves express unhappiness or discontentment, i will take them at face value and believe that they're happy w the way things are. bc literally who tf am i to tell them they should be doing anything different?

[otherone12]

Comics And "Something"

Gerard Way x Brazilian!Reader 

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! Well... days ago my intrusive thoughts just won and i wrote a Gerard Way imagine (because why not)... and then I received this request... I've been bored, so maybe i'll post some emo imagines (mcr, p!atd, fob, paramore...) frequently?? Idk. If have requests, I will certainly make them... and i will post a part2 of the “I Can Help You With That” :)

~ "Could you do another imagine with Gerard and a Brazilian reader? (Perhaps the reader is Gabriel Bá's sister) ...I don't know if it's an interesting request :("

Summary - Your brother worked with Gerard for a while, but you've never really met him until now 'cause you live in another country (Brazil). Fortunately, Gerard is gonna stay at your brother's home for a week, to work on a new project. You both don't know what happens when you've seen each other, but it was CLEARLY something.

- Word Count: 1.570

- Warnings: Age gap? (not smut!)

- Ps1: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

Damn... sorry for the superlong intro *-*

___________________________________________

Reader's 1st Person POV

I woke up 3 am and looked at my phone just to see three missed calls and an absurd amount of texts from my brother. I can't believe that this man is like forty-something years old and can't even wait till the morning to tell me whatever he wanted to tell me.

Even though I'm tired, I read every single one of the messages. None of them has a real meaning, was like "are you awake?", "i need to talk to you", "it's important!"

Why the fuck he did'nt just tell me what is going on insted of doing this?? 

I called him back and he dropped the news: Gerard Way will spend a whole week in my brother's house!

- Realy?! - I shout at phone

- Yep... he's gonna stay here for a while... don't act like a stoned, please. - i heard a bit of a desperate tone in his voice, like he wasn't kidding.

- What do you mean? - I said, trying not sound offended, even if i was.

- I know you for 25 years, dear... you can't keep MCR lyrics references out of your mouth for too long. - He chuckles.

He's right... i can't, the same way i can't swim, can't dance and i don't know karate.

- I don't know why you think I'm gonna be weird or something... it's not like I'm a fangirl. Not anymore. - I argued.

- Sure... - his sarcasm always makes me mad - By the way, we'll be busy working, so i will need your help here... can you stay with us in my place?

- Yeah, but why do you need me? Don't you think I'm gonna "act like a stoned"?

- Honestly? I KNOW you're gonna be creepy, but I can't cook, and i refuse to buy shitty North American food for Gerard when he's here. 

- OH, FINE! - I couldn't help but take it as a challenge, I'm gonna be there and act normal, because that's what i am, right? A normal person - I get it. So no cheeseburgers and stuff? 

- NO! You can cook something nice, right?

- I can try... 

- Awesome! See ya tomorrow at 8pm in the airport to pick Gerard up. Good night. 

-  Bye! 

Yeah, sure, how the hell does he expect me to sleep? I mean, when I was a teenager, Gerard was my hero. I'm not that kind of fan anymore, but still, I like him so much. 

Gabriel never introduced us appropriately, probably 'cause I was ‘that’ creepy fan, or the long distance between the countries made it impossible for me to travel. Anyways… just didn't happen yet.

*** time skip ***

I don't know why, but I just imagined the scene of Gerard going out of the airplane and thousands of paparazzis just screaming and taking pictures of him… I was surprised that didn't happen, I know the people here and we can be really crazy sometimes. By the way, Gabriel and I was waiting for him.

Soon, along with several other passengers, We could see him, who was looking for the familiar face of my brother in the crowd. The smile emerged on his face in the moment they made eye contact. 

Damn this man is so good looking… Suddenly I remembered why I had that crush on him.

-Hey, How long, man?! - Gabriel said with a smile as he opened his arms to hug Gerard.

- Hell yeah! How have you been? - That pretty smile still in his face.

- Great! Better now that i know we'll gonna work together again!

I just couldn't stop looking at him… I think he noticed, ‘cause he looked back at me.

-Lemme guess… Your sister, right? - The lovely look on his eyes as he extended his hand to greet me made my face burn. - He talks alot about you, I was excited to finally meet you!

- So as I! - I shaked his hand and smile back at him, trying not to overdo it.

- She's A huge fan! 

The death look I gave Gabriel made Gerard laugh a bit, but not enough to make me feel more embarrassed than I already was.  

-Well, that's true, but why don't we go home? - i said - You need help with that? 

I pointed to the two suitcases he was carrying.

-That's fine. I can handle two of them. Thanks! - i swear, his eyes was glowing… im not that crazy! 

We put Gerard's things in the trunk of my brother's car and we went back home. 

During the way, all I could think about were those hazel eyes and how I felt a connection... it was inexplicable, maybe it's just nonsense in my head. But there's always a ‘maybe not’, right?

Gerard's 1st person POV

I don't know what that was. But THAT was fucking something! The way she look? Maybe, but not just that. don't know! 

I haven't even talked with her, but I hope we have time to get to know each other well. Because that was something.

At home, Gabriel showed me the office and the room i'll stay in.

He has such a pretty house, and all the pencils, markers, and art stuff get me even more excited to start work. But his sister is still in my mind... The best I can do now is go to sleep, cause all the way in the airplane just stressed me out.

Reader's 1st person POV

First things first, i woke up early to do exactly the thing my brother wants me to do: cook. 

I was distracted preparing coffee, and heard a familiar voice from the back of the kitchen.

-Morning… - Even though his voice was dragging because he had just woken up, he still sounded so good. 

Gerard sat at the table while I finished preparing breakfast.

- Morning! How was your night? Did you sleep well? - I asked, trying to start a conversation.

- Yeah, really well, and the feeling of waking up with this smell is just amazing! - He smiled, rubbing his eyes.

- I'm glad you like it. - the feeling of relief and joy took over me, I think being normal will be easier than I imagined…

*** time skip ***

The next two days was normal, just small talks, because the purpose of him coming was not to talk to me, but to work, right? Still, it would be nice to take an hour or two just to talk.

Or not, i keep thinking about the feeling in the airport, i want to feel that again. 

Gabriel left early this morning to look for who knows what, which ended up making room for a break from work. 

I was sitting on the couch, watching a rerun of my favorite movie when Gee appeared in the living room and sat next to me.

-Finally a break, hun? - he said, with his usual smile, which by the way I always thought was beautiful - Don't get me wrong, I love to do that, but sometimes Gabe just goes too deep.

- Yeah, I know… he is intense. Family thing, I guess… - I chuckled and turn the TV off, so we could talk. - Same eyes and same craziness.

We laughed for a moment, but he seemed to concentrate on confirming the similarity between my eyes and my brother's eyes. A shiver went down my spine when the look stopped being critical and became appreciative. It's incredible how artists can vary between technique and feeling.

The situation made me want to kiss him, but I think this is out of the limits, considering his relationship with my brother. I respect that and never gonna do something that could ruin it. 

-  Transcendently impressive… - The way he spoke made it seem like he was in some kind of trance. - Your eyes. 

I gasped in shock. I didn’t know what to say. I just stood still, while my breath was panting.

-Thanks! - I pulled from somewhere within me the confidence to thank and return the compliment. - I can say the same about yours, maybe even more.

- I think you're exaggerating, but thank you - I thought the situation would be awkward, but Gee seemed increasingly comfortable with my company. - May I ask you something?

- Sure! - My curiosity barely let him finish the sentence. - Anything.

- Did you feel that at the airport? - He sighed as if taking a huge weight off his chest. - Because i did. Sorry if it sounds weird or...

- Thank God! I thought i was freak out. So there WAS something. - I quickly got up from the couch and practically jumped for joy. - The last days i couldn't barely sleep thinking of you! Well, not YOU but the whole situation and-

It happened so quickly that I couldn't register in my mind when he stood up, even less could I believe that he cut me off with a kiss. 

-I thought about you too, sugar… 

Before I could do anything, he kissed me again, that feeling it was becoming clearer and clearer, with every second my lips remained close to his.

The next few days were a bit different… not like we just makeout a lot of times, but some quick looks, kisses and conversations. We discovered that we have more in common than we imagined…

Now, taking advantage of Gerard's last moments here, I decided that I would help him pack his bags, so that we could make, whatever our relationship is, last longer. While we were talking, I couldn't help but notice the t-shirt he was putting on his suitcase. 

-Oh my god, i didn't notice… you brought THE shirt! 

- What do you mean? - He was confused, but then he looked at the shirt and noticed why.

- “Pool Boy At The Vampire Mansion” shirt… it's like THE shirt!  

- Ya know? Keep it.

- WHAT? I don't think-

- You heard me. - He smiled, in the cutest way a human being can smile.- I want you to keep it. I don't know when we're gonna seen each other again, so… 

Gerard dropped the shirt in the bed and got closer to me, placing his hands on my waist and, getting even closer, he pressed his lips to mine gently. The kiss became deep as we let ourselves be carried away by the heat of the moment. 

-This week was perfect. - He said, placing his hand on my cheek and looking into my eyes. - I wish it didn't end now. You know, sugar, I think we could work out… be something. 

- I'm sure that we can make it happend- I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss even more intense than the last. The feeling of hope made it seem like time would stop at that moment. 

~ That's it. Hope u enjoyed :)

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 episode 4

Alright 2 things, 1 I love how General lane Not only set up an entire bunker like fortress in Clark and Jimmy's apartment, but also made them Use a Code word in order for them to Even get in, 2 I Reallly love Clark's reaction to Jimmy's achievement, it really shows how much he cares about his friend and is really happy for him 😊 Also is it me or has the Animation gotten So much Better this Season, they really stepped their Game up since the Spiderman fiasco, especially when it comes to the lighting and faces, I mean just look at Clark's smile here >_<

Bruh I'm calling it right now, by the end of this Season Jimmy is going to lose ALL of his Money, that Money meter keeps going down each episode, if that isn't foreshadowing Idk what is ^^;

Once again I'm really loving the relationship between these 2, the fact that Jimmy wants Clark to come not because he's an Alien but because he's his best friend is really sweet, and it really shows just how much the writers Really know about Superman and his world and want to make it to the best version, also the fact that Clark is LITERALLY deciding which outfit seems more "Hype man" is Really funny to me, especially Jimmy's comeback line after this

Judging how Waller is clearly making another Task force X I wanna say this Blockbuster, but I'm not entirely sure, so far this guy's only appeared in like a few episodes this season, So if they kill him off I Wont entirely be mad, because he serves No purpose other than filling out the Villain slots, and the reason why I'm saying this might be Blockbuster is because I can't recall another Villain with super strength and Built like this in the suicide Squad other than blockbuster, who coincidently died IMMEDIATELY in a Suicide Squad comic run

Even though the episode is clearly about lois and father, it's Super obvious that it was actually focused on the relationship between Clark and Jimmy, and how they feel about 1 another, this scene with Clark telling Jimmy about how he's made him feel was really beautiful and Ngl, I kinda teared up at this point, the relationship between the 2 is some of the best I've seen in a Long time since the animated series back on WB Kids, they really put a lot of effort into fleshing out each character and making us Fall in love with them even more ^w^

The whole Superman Debate Scene was great, I really loved how Lex and Jimmy are basically two polar opposites, 1 supporting superman and his pureness and the other being Superman's biggest Hater, with both literally being incredibly rich rn, and it's kinda funny, while Jimmy is losing money, Lex is Gaining money, gaining everyhing that we know him for; Lex brought up a lot of good points regarding Superman and how "Dangerous" he is, Stuff that I think will Return in Season 3 with people Gunning for Superman or trying to Eliminate him, maybe we might actually see Batman Show up Next season ����

I find it So CONVENIENT that general lane's Rendezvous point Just so happens to be near the STAR Labs EXPO, almost like if this was planned for this to happen here, So that when Superman shows up he could be made out as the Bad guy *looks intently at Lex*

As Sad as this scene is you're really telling me He DIDN'T HEAR THAT!? I mean the dude has SUPER HEARING for a reason, you're REALLY telling me he Didn't hear that? Ok whatever Sure, I guess super hearing Only works when the Writers Need it huh, even though they made a WHOLE episode about that Last season 😒

🥺🥺🥺 I don't have any words for this scene other than Seeing Clark like this really hurts my soul, seeing him come to the Realization that he's Never gonna truly fit in and that He NEEDS Someone like him to Really understand him just shows how much Clark has repressed these feelings by trying to be Something he's not, which is human, Now he's Finally starting to accept his Alien/Kryptonian half, with the 1st step being to find someone Truly like him

ZOD IS HERE OMG ZOD IS HERE!!

Also I Officially dub these Days "Superman Saturday's" ^^ 🦸‍♂️

[i-cant-sing]

YAAALLLLL THIS MAN IS SO WHIPPED FOR ME(idk for sure but u guys tell me) AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW ME?????

So basically some random dude called me, he doesn't know me or has even seen me or even knows my name, and idk him either. He claims that he was randomly dialing a phone number and dialed mine because he wants to be friends (friends here means dating). I already know this is completely BS so I hung up on him, but after a few more calls from him, I decided to humor him.

So I gave him a fake name and a fake age and a fake career and like I'm telling this man that I am lying for most part and he's like "but why???🥺 I've been nothing but honest to you" and I'm like boy idk u and I don't wanna know u and I don't even trust u or ever will wanna be in a relationship with you. Cause I took a brief interview and he told me that he's 28 (but he sounds like he's 32, maybe 35), his highest level of education is 12 grade and he's working as a "programmer" at a small company (I think it's a clerk job because he calls me during his tea breaks, and then in the evening).

Anyways, he's like "come on, just give me a chance. What's the worst that could happen???" And I'm like no. And somehow the convo went from him trying pursue me to me telling him to go pray to the Lord (like real religious stuff) for help with his career (because I told him that I can't settle for a man who's not smart enough, pr rich enough or handsome enough) and then it went to me telling him to read some of my favourite novels.

Yall won't believe me when I tell u that this man researched fav book (after he figured it out that i took my fake name from that book) and he's proceeded to tell me the whole summary??? And like we've talking for the past 3 days? And everh single time, he asks "do I have a chance with you?" And I give a resounding NO. But I don't stop there, no no. He asked me reason for rejection and I GAVE HIM A WHOLE ASS LIST THAT WAS BORDERLINE MEAN LIKE-

You're wayyyy less educated. I bet you're not even street smart.

You're poor.

We are not in the same city.

You're not handsome (he said he was 6 ft tall, athletic build because he wakes up to run at 5 every morning, and he said his complexion was darkish)

Told him he must have something wrong with him, either the way he talks or looks or treats other woman that no woman in real life wants to be "friends" with him.

My parents would never approve, neither would my "8 brothers", my unckes would kill him.

You get the gist, right???

But he did not give up. He's like calling me up and asking "so what did you do today? What's your fav food? Hobbies?" And I'm like sir we are not at all compatible. I even went as far to tell him "I have a very bad temper. I am very high maintenance. I don't dress modestly. I dont cook. I have a lot of male friends, etc etc" things that were lies and would piss off most people.

But he's like "and???? I'll bear your wrath. I'll maintain you."

And I'm like???? What is he upto?

Anyways, everytime he'd ask me if I'd give him a chance, I'd tell him we are absolutely not compatible, especially because of his lack of education and he's like "so a man needs to be highly educated to date you? Why? Just because you're a doctor, does that mean only doctors can date doctors??" And I said, idk about others but that's my preference. And you know what he said??

"You should've been a butcher instead of a doctor, because you're really good at butchering up my heart🥺" HAHAHAHAHHAHA WHAT IS THIS GUY???

Girl I even pretended to be mad at him at the end of day 2 call, even though I was laughing at his jokes the whole time. Like I pretended to be mad at some of the jokes he made at my expense, just so that he'd leave me alone. I TOLD HIM TO NOT CALL ME BECAUSE I WONT PICK UP and as I was hanging up, he BEGGING and saying he was sorry, that he doesn't know what exactly he said was wrong but he's sorry.

I hang up, he calls a 2 more times before stopping. And I'm like " 👍 great, that's finished."

And the next day, he called me in the afternoon, but I was dead asleep. Then he called me again today in the morning, during his tea break and I picked up for the hell of it, and he started off apologising again and I pretended to just sigh and told him to just drop it.

And he's like "Okay... so how are you? What are you doing? Oh you just finished up with a patient? Oh, so what did you think about me?" And I said "I don't think about you. And I never will. You have a better chance with someone else than with me." And he's like "but I want you. You're sweet and kind and you speak in a gentle tone-" and I'm like THIS IS NOT A GENTLE TONE???

And anyways, he was like so did you eat? I told him no, I haven't ate since yesterday (which is true because I was sleeping non stop after class) and he's like "Oh no! Please do eat, how can u treat patients if you don't eat???" And I'm like alright, I need to go cause I have a surgery to watch (I did not, I am at home). And he said okay, make sure u eat something before u drop dead.

And then he called me again in the afternoon and he was like "so what up? How are u? What are u doing?" And I said I'm at work,have a massive headache and I'm studying (which I actually was) and he's like "BROO???? YOU STILL HAVENT EATEN??? WHY?" and I'm like (get in character) "cause I'm at work. Hospital food is nasty." And he's like "then order something???" And I'm like "No, I can't leave my ward to go fetch food." And he's like "Well it's not like u have told me where you work or live or what city you are in, otherwise I would've delivered some food to you!" And I'm like "really? You would've delivered food to me during your work?" And he's like "I WOULDVE FED YOU WITH MY HANDS!" anyways the convo was short because I needed to actually study so I said bye, but not before him telling me to please eat something.

Anyways, couple of hours later, he calls me again and is like "Hey, you free? I'm gonna get off work soon." And I was like yeah, and we started talking again and the convi revolved mostly around him trying to make me reveal some stuff about myself, I told him no. He's like "that's not fair. I tell u everything true about me." I said that's your choice, idk u. And he was like "u home yet? Did u eat something?" And i was like yeah, i had a cup of coffee at work, now im studyung again and he like loses his mond more "WHY HAVENT YOU EATEN? YOU WILL DIE?" and im like no, im too tired to eat and hes like "is it because youre at mad at me? Or at soemone else? Cause why else would u be skipping meals? Did someone say somwthing to you?" And i was like "no. I do have bad temper though, so if you were to piss me off, i would turn quiet and not talk to you for days" AND GUESS WHAT HE SAID????

"No, not the silent treatment. You can argue, you can yell at me, anything, just don't stop talking." And I'm like DUDEE???????

And then suddenly i remembered I should make him reveal how he got my number because it certainly can't be a coincidence THAT SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE HIM ALSO DIALED MY NUMBER (he was looking for another girl he was stalking but did not belive me when I said I'm not her. Maybe he did, but then he said okay then who are u cause I like u too. I blocked him lol). And I was like, he's gonna keep up with initial lie "i randomly dialed ur number" so I was like I'm gonna ask where he is from, like what city. And he was like "I'm not telling u because u don't tell me where u are from. So its not fair." Which is true but I needed him to answer. So I was like "Alright well, I gotta go." in a dismissive tone which he picked up on. Cause the next second he went on "Hey, hey. Are you mad at me? Look, I'm sorry. But just- please eat something. I gotta get back to work. You'll eat something right?"

And I said "ill eat when u tell me where you live."(like the city, not the whole address)

And he's like "aw come on, don't do that. That's blackmail-"

Me: "Okay, well goodbye."

Him: "no! NO GOOD BYE- I promise I'll tell u everything IF YOU promise to eat and tell me where you're from."

Me: I'm not gonna tell u where I'm from

Him: is that fair?

Me: no. You're right, it's not fair. So, you should go look for someone who will be fair with you. Bye.

Him: wait, wait- don't hang up!

I hang up. He calls again, I don't pick up. The second time he calls, I pick up (cause I'm putting him on the spot and he needs to break under pressure)

Me: yes?

Him: look, I promise I'll tell u everything on the next call if you promise to eat now.

Me: ill eat after u tell me.

Him: look, you're punishing me but this is harming you too! You should eat something. You haven't had anything since morning-

Me: okay, I have to get back to studying. You go back to your important work. Bye.

I hang up again. He calls, i pick up.

Me: yes?

Him: stop hanging up on me! Just- just promise that you'll eat something. I swear I'll tell u everything, all of your questions. I don't wanna lie to you.

Me: tell me now. And don't lie, God is watching.

Him: I know God is watching. But I tell you later-

Me: okay, you need to go back to your work-

Him: I DONT! I LEFT THE OFFICE TO TALK TO YOU. I GOT LIKE 20-25 MINUTES TO TALK TO YOU-

Me: then answer my question.

Him: girl just listen to me-

Me: goodbye then. I actually need to study and pray. Have fun at work.

I hang up.

Now he's gonna call again when he returns from work. Now what do u guys think is going on with this Wattpad character? Is he trying to scam me out of money?

Also, just to be clear before anyone of u cause me of leading him on, I specifically told him and tell him on every call that him and I are never gonna happen and that he should stop wasting his time. He's the one who always calls.

[potionio]

Ok wasn't going to post this but HERE WE FUCKING GO bcs the Zero stuff is back on my feed and Im just going to speak and if its stupid ignore it.

Looking at Zero's Patreon comments got me discouraged. Not because of the blatant transphobia- but because of the fact I saw another queer person praising this. And I don't think some people are actively aware of this shit so let SOMEONE has said it and people can't go around saying 'I thought they were trying to help' or some shit.

Let's just get it out of the gay. TLDR? Zero is not your ally or your friend as a queer person.

There is a very distinct difference between people feeling a bit upset about the gender neutrality because they get gender euphoria from being referred to as 'boyfriend/girlfriend' (and other gendered terms) and terfs/transphobes being mad because nonbinary and transmasc/transfem people exist.

Zero is not here to make you feel good. They're not trying to make sure that people who are gender dysphoric still get a bit of joy and spark from playing their game and seeing their simself referred to as someone's 'boyfriend' for the first time. That's not what's happening.

This is someone who clearly is hateful, and if claims about being a de-transitioned trans-woman is correct, clearly has a complicated relationship with the trans community and label.

They're not your friend. They're not your ally. They don't like you. And this should be obvious by the way they phrased their patreon post but clearly it isn't.

Don't mistake people wanting to harm others as your friends, please think about why someone would post a mod like this - if for your own sake. Don't sing their praises when they're part of the people who would throw the first fucking rock if they got a chance. Value yourself as a person.

You can feel miffed that you're not a boyfriend in a game- but a partner, that's allowed. Those are valid feelings- nobody can tell you how to feel. But you putting those feelings above nonbinary and trans people by supporting a creator who clearly doesn't care about us is an incredibly cruel things to do and yes it shows your character and true thoughts about trans lives.

This is absolutely not like- an entirely covering post and I'm sure I may have worded some things wrong because of my frustration with the situation and the way I feel incredibly disheartened seeing someone who identifies as queer support this mod's existence.

Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Nonbinary people are valid whether they identify as trans or otherwise and we deserve to exist too.

IDK just really frustrating because I've seen more than one person think this is some mod made to make them feel more affirmed in themselves when in reality this is a terf trying to delete identities.

This is obviously not talking about blatant transphobes btw, this is talking about a very small group of people. I'm not saying this so transphobic people can protect themselves- I'm saying this so queer naive people don't think this fucking asshole is on their side.

Transphobe to extreme homophobe is a slippery fucking slope.

[martianbugsbunny]

I'm noticing more and more things about Wish that irk me so here's another one: in "This Wish," Asha says "when I speak, they tell me sit down," and "I never knew I needed room to grow, I did what I was told when someone told me no." She's basically been told no once, maybe twice, in the movie. She's leading tours through the kingdom at seventeen, for Pete's sake, this kid clearly has a pretty high level of trust and freedom invested in her, and depicting two instances of being rebuffed (first by Magnifico, second by her family) as never having had the ability to speak her mind is a little overdramatic.

Idk, let's bring in a couple of other heroines for contrast. Maybe this will make my point more clear, maybe it'll make it more confusing, you can be the judge of that.

Mulan is portrayed as someone who has been basically screwing up her whole life. We don't see her childhood, either, but we get a sense through the first fifteen or so minutes of the movie, particularly "Bring Honor To Us All," that her relatives don't have super high hopes for her prospects, that her struggles with remembering all the right ways to act aren't new. It's not like everyone around acts for the most part like she's normal and then one or two relatives make a snide comment and she suddenly acts like she's been disappointing them her whole life--it's communicated to us that this is pretty much standard for her.

Or Ariel. It's made pretty clear to us that she's been sneaking off to explore human objects, skipping out on her official princess duties like appearing in concerts with her sisters, for a while. It's a continuing problem for Sebastian and for her father, but she can't help herself, so even though she knows there will be consequences if she's caught, she goes looking at human stuff anyway. It's not as if she goes looking at one shipwreck, everyone gets mad, and she acts like humanity has always been where her heart lies.

If you're going to have a character say something that implies they've been struggling to make their voice heard all their life, to be who they really are, you have to back it up. Mulan is shown as someone who has had consistent problems when she's herself, who tries her hardest to be who other people want her to be, and still fails, through her own words and actions and those of her family. "Help me not to make a fool of me, and to not uproot my family tree" and the notes she puts on her arm show she really is trying, but that she expects to fail because there's precedent for it. Ariel is shown as someone who's being stifled in the fact that she has to sneak away to indulge her greatest interest and in that she literally has a secret trove to put her human objects in. She has a lot of stuff there, and when she's caught, it's treated like a repeat offense, so it's pretty obvious that she's been doing this and being reprimanded for it for a while. Asha, on the other hand, has a job where she's trusted to fill visitors in on Rosas and even try to convince them to stay, and there's no manager or something looking over her work and making sure she's saying or doing all the right things. Her family is one of the least stern Disney families I've ever seen; they seem more or less okay with her just going off and doing mysterious who-knows-what.

Anyway! that's my take. I don't like those couple of lines in "This Wish" because they don't fit with the way other people interact with Asha in general. She's not being repressed super hard in most of the movie so I think treating it as "the time I have something incredibly important to say is the one time nobody listens" would have worked better

kay bye

[poppinlovemp4]

what are your thoughts on each nct member

im crying there are 22 of you here thats fewer people than nct. who's sending me this. anyway im bored so ill answer... really long obviously there are so many guys

i dont have any thoughts on the wish members ive never streamed idk any of their names and i'll keep it that way bless their hearts. or not idk

jisung: idgaffff his dancing is overhyped and he's charmless to me and i hate deepvoice rappers forever

chenle: probably nicest voice in dream but that's a really low bar. dont really have other thoughts. i've heard he cares a lot about basketball which can either be charming or offputting i dont know enough about him to say

yangyang: thats OOMF top 3 in ncity to me <3 i really did not care about him all when i was first entering weishenville sorry for my anti-kpop rapper bias but he's soooo fun to watch onstage. imo the only one other than ten obviously who's got a good handle on #It. and he has the cutest smile ever probably. and i like him :-)

jaemin: idgaf i literally cannot think of a single thing to say here

haechan: seems like an unsavoury bloke from what i've seen of his scandals and i hate his voice so so so badly like when i first listened to 127 on purpose i had to pause and look up a lyric video to see whose voice i hated so much. good performer though

jeno: least fave nct member and i dont like many of them. disband

renjun: hope he's feeling better these days. no further thoughts

hendery: thats OOMF but kind of less than the rest of wayv sorry.. he's like one of the only idols ever i think is genuinely funny the way he speaks and acts is so 😭 i really dont know how he comes up with any of it. was sincerely baffled when i found out he wasnt wasian

xiaojun: he's all right

mark: ive literally never been impressed by any performance ive seen from him idk WHERE people get the all rounder genius idol thing from it's not showing #ToMe!!! the originator of many fave reaction images though so he's okay in my book

jungwoo: idgaf. wait no back when djj was announced people kept comparing him to xiumin in cbx to justify his place there (as in 2 main vocals / guy who isn't a main vocal) and he is not xiumin he could never dream of having my beautiful sister's charisma uniqueness nerve or talent! other than that idgaf

winwin: saw the news today hope he heals all righttt and it's nothing too serious... as an idol he brings nothing to the table except cuteness and that's not very important to me so i hope his career in cn thrives bless

jaehyun: tbh when nct first debuted i hated him so badly for literally no reason like his face just made me so mad. and look at us now <3 he is my entire 127 tag. i liked his debut so i'll continue following his solo career and he's also funny to me but i can't say that without feeling like jaehyun tote bag tweet

ten: thats OOMF another top 3 member <3 he's EVERYTHINGGGG imo the only nct member who's like absolutely a star & built to be a soloist.. i cannot wait for his second albummm i love his vision he is so so so so insanely talented it boggles the mind. and also so cool... i rarely think idols are cool but he is so cool

doyoung: he's a crazy ass hater with an evil spirit but i kind of fuck with it idk if i had to pick a second fave 127 member it would probably be him he's funny to watch. i streamed from little wave a few times also

kun: thats OOMF every time he's mentioned that he was the one who pushed for a certain song/production choice (new ride being in gmt, the strings at the end of omy) it's been one of my favourite parts of whatever the final product is so i really appreciate that. ten's kinda right about him he's so old but it's really charming to me

yuta: idrgaf. i thought his solo debut was interesting ill be giving his future stuff exactly one stream and perhaps more if the execution improves

taeyong: i think it's so funny how everyone buys the cutesy act he started going hard on immediately after his bullying scandal came out😭 loved his work on baby don't stop & call d. hated his work on everything else. every time his verse on rv's cover of be natural comes on i take a moment to curse him out

johnny: from chicago and yet so deeply charmless he gives this beautiful city a bad name. disband

[geneticallymodifiedidiot]

funny stupid sad angry post

uh so the poll said yes

so here goes? i've got no idea how to do this

tw: vent, self-sabotage, sh/cutting, eating disorder(?)/calorie counting, suicide ideation

please for the love of god if any of these trigger you in any way don't read this through. i'm not worth making your triggers worse. don't do that to yourself.

this is a really long fucking post. we'll see if i end up deleting it. if people just tell me that my problems aren't that bad (which is totally possible) then i'll delete it. no harm done.

let the brain dump begin

why am i doing this? it's not like i'd let myself accept help if anyone decided to try

uh idk it feels like i'm not doing enough

i'm not good enough for my friends, my school performance isn't good enough, i'm not doing enough to help other in general, i'm not doing enough to maintain relationships with my family and other people close to me, my "skills" aren't good enough, my problem aren't good enough to be considered problems, a lot of stuff like that

like the friend thing is like i feel like my friends are way better at being supportive and helping each other than i am, i'm trying my best but i can't seem to do enough because we're all just sad and i feel like i can't help

i constantly want to tell my friends "hey, you guys know that if i'm not a good enough friend, you can leave/stop being my friend and i won't get mad, right?" but i don't because i'm worried they actually might.

i went on a really long trip overseas this past summer and spent some time with family and i feel like i was a terrible person the whole time because my egg had cracked like a solid two weeks beforehand and i hated the idea of having to exist as two people at once bc my family has not exactly presented themselves as the most trans-friendly people but they also haven't made it so it's obviously a bad idea to come out to them. just a collection of offhand comments and unclear/lack of messaging around trans people has made it so i feel like it would be a bad idea, but if i'm wrong, then these people deserve better from me and not for me to hide myself from them.

the most unclear part of this for me is my mom, because like she's not the best but it's not obvious to me if she's actually bad. like i've seen a lot of things especially on this site about how trauma and abuse are overused terms but i don't know what qualifies. whenever i see examples i seem to fall in a middle ground between them. like it's mostly mental. she doesn't hit me (although idk i feel like i might remember some stuff from very long ago and there's one major event that i'm not going to get into) but there's just some things. like when i tried to come out as aroace, she never explicitly rejected that, but she also didn't... say anything. both times. and also when i first told her that i thought i might have adhd, she said something along the lines of "oh yeah, when you were young the doctor said you had some adhd tendencies, but we're not going to get you diagnosed because i don't want you to use it as an excuse." which, i guess, but something doesn't seem right about that.

but she's not explicitly terrible either, like i have stuff. she lets me leave the house pretty often. she's not super uptight about grades as long as i don't miss assignments. idk, it's super confusing. it's not entirely her fault either, she's an immigrant and english is her second language. there's a big age gap between us (40 years) its probably hard for her to raise a child, especially one as horrifically difficult to deal with as me. one time she said she hated me, but she apologized later and said she misspoke. which is fair i guess, she was under stress at the time. if i was her, id probably hate me too. idk i feel bad for saying i miss my dad (he died 5 years ago) my mom's trying her best and she got the bad luck of getting a child that is much more difficult than she bargained for. god im a terrible child lol.

oh, on the adhd thing- i feel like i exhibit symptoms for adhd pretty recognizably (although im not diagnosed, so its technically possible that i don't and i just need to try a little bit harder) but also i feel like i exhibit some signs of autism. but again. what. the heck. qualifies. i don't like drums (especially snare drums, which are RIGHT BEHIND ME IN BAND WHY-) and im bad with convoluted noise in general. but also like, i don't exhibit this all the time. sometimes i won't even notice drums all that much. sometimes i realize lights are way too bright like five minutes after being around them. i get hyperfixations, but im pretty sure that could just be the adhd thing. im bad at talking to people but again, i could just be bad. i scored 150 on the RAADS-R test, but that's not a diagnosis. idk. hah.

i'm outright just a negative person to be around, i can't think of a single person that is better off because i'm in their life. they either have to deal with all of my problems or i just end up not talking to them as much as a good friend should.

also i feel like my "skills" are really bad to the point that i can barely call them skills. in band, on my first instrument (euphonium) i'm first chair in the symphonic/advanced/audition band (somehow) but there's this one interval in a solo that i cannot nail down. and its annoying. in marching band its even worse, im on sousaphone which some would say is the most important instrument, but the director tells us to play louder all the freaking time (there's only 7 sousaphones and the band is like 200 people). my rank tells me im playing well but like. aaa. i could be playing better. last years rank leader was so ridiculously loud and i don't think i can match him.

other "skill" is cooking. some people might have seen the attempt at bread that i made. and the interior is just a mass of gluten. like. come on, i can do better than that. and then i also made like a chili dish to go with the bread, and the recipe called for too many beans. i should've recognized it, but no. there are too many beans. im annoyed. my mom doesn't like to eat beans that much so i feel like i failed her too. which, lovely.

ehhhh yeah i can talk about dysphoria here too. why not. idk one thing that made me spiral a bit was one of the people im not out to in marching band said "deadname you should get a buzz cut again it looked good" (i had a buzz cut for much of my childhood because long hair felt too hot) and fucking- i look better with a buzz cut than with long hair?! fucking murder me! oh my god! should i even transition as an adult at this point, i'd probably look even worse than i do now! am i just goddamn destined to be unhappy with my appearance?! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ok tw for sh for this next part

so all this manifested in a cutting habit (yippee) which is. mildly terrifying. but also i feel like this problem is also inferior because they aren't all that deep. like i see things about sh support that are like "here's how you know you hit an artery" and im like well. that's not been a problem insofar. maybe im being dramatic about this.

i don't even know why i do it. i don't feel particularly better when i do it. i guess i could be like adrenaline doping but that's not that big of a thing. it doesn't make me like special or worse than other people, cutting isn't that uncommon from what i've seen. 52% of trans girls reported self-injury over the past year (per the trevor project)

the annoying this is even when i see a way out i don't take it. when i first started i was using a partially rusted razor which i completely recognized as dangerous but like. i have my shots (thanks mom.) so that happened for a while until the rust got to the point where the blade was dull. yeah, that's the reason i stopped using a rusty knife: not because of the rust and the tetanus risk, but because the blade was getting dull. that's fucking pathetic.

so instead of stopping like a normal fucking person i (still cannot believe i did this) went on amazon and bought a $10 pocketknife. and now that's just on my person. i could've stopped, i had an out, but i spent money on a different knife. s t u p i d.

tw suicide ideation

oh, something else horrifying? the thoughts i had regarding sh like... two months prior to starting are. shockingly similar to the thoughts i have regarding suicide. (i don't think i'm going to commit suicide, that's a bit more commitment that a few scars on my forearm and thighs). but i mean like, i like to sleep. maybe this wouldn't be too different. people wouldn't have to worry about me anymore.

and don't tell me i "matter," i'm perfectly aware of the 143.8lbs of matter i take up in this universe i take up and how much of a waste it is. possible eating disorder tw for the next part.

okay like. im weird with food. what the hell counts as an eating disorder. im not underweight, (i know this is not an end-all be-all by any stretch of a hyperflexible imagination, but my bmi's 19.0. that's technically in the healthy range). i'm skinnier than i was 18 months ago. but like. i'm not wasting away. i just have a calorie-counting habit that is. annoying. along with a general fear of gaining weight. sometimes i'll eat what i feel is too much and i have an urge to make myself vomit (i've never done that before, but i have a general idea) but the thing that stops me is the vivid image of my esophagus dissolving. which i guess is good.

why? i don't know. that's a theme here, isn't it. i don't know why im the stupid ridiculous way that i am, which probably means im bullshitting everything. but i don't know. it's like all my issues are on the borderline of "okay you need actual help" and "eh, you'll probably be fine. just push through it." which again probably suggests that im actually fine and being ridiculous about everything. i'm not the only person in this world who has dysphoria. im not the only person whos unsure about coming out to their family. im not the only person who engages in self-injury. im not the only person who has suicidative thoughts from time to time. i have what most people would call a good life. im physically able-bodied, lean, fit into the school system, have a parent, i live near a school, and im not under threat of dying by someone else's hand. these are all advantages that tons of people probably wish they had. why do i complain so much. im so ready for this post to get a response of "this is nothing, just deal with it. good god." and that's fair.

idk, i guess im tired. im tired of avoiding the mirror constantly, tired of keeping a running track of the amount of energy ive consumed in the past 24 hours, tired of doing the same thing each day with no real end in sight, tired of feeling like i need to push myself harder, tired of seeing an arm covered in scars when i reach over myself to turn off the light each night when i go to sleep, tired of going to sleep and sometimes wishing i wouldn't wake up.

do i even deserve anything. do i deserve friends. do i deserve to be happy. do i deserve to get the things i want. do i deserve a good life. do i deserve to transition if i want to. do i deserve help. do i deserve to take up societies resources, whether that be food, water, medical care, or therapy.

do i deserve to live?

if you read this far, uh. im sorry. this probably took a long time that could be better dedicated to something more important than a random teenager on the internet. but here we are.

if you want to say something 1. probably don't. my brain has found a way to basically not let me accept help but if you want to try, that's your prerogative. 2. if you want to say something but don't know what to say, that's fine. i know the feeling and what the hell do you say to whatever this post is anyway.

[lyerra]

ROOM OF SWORDS SPOILERS

just me ranting about webtoon's comment section because I want to exteriorize some stuff

The whole Roseberry situation is so so weird to me. Tbh when I started room of swords I didn't care much about the ships, I was there for the plot, but when strawbarrow was revealed to have been canon all along I was so happy for them

However a lot of people were displeased because they thought Gyrus would end up with Tori.

I think one of the comment sections that struck me the most was right as the episode ended with Tori kissing "Gyrus" (who was actually Kodya in Gyrus' body pretending to be him) and someone commented "imagine possessing your boyfriend's body only for some girl to kiss him" which was a pretty funny comment

some people responded however that if anything Kodya was Gyrus' ex because he had been in a relationship with BB!Gyrus but New Gyrus didn't know him the same way. Which WOULD have been a good argument to make if Gyrus hadn't been making puppy eyes at Kodya since S1...

tbh it's fine not to see it, I didn't see it either at first, but to say that Gyrus was CLEARLY attracted to Tori???????? when he never showed any sign of liking her as more than a friend?

I've read RoS many, many times both before and after it ended (been reading it from 2019 oh god it's been so long???) and all through S1 there are these small, small hints that Gyrus has a small crush on Kodya EVEN THOUGH he doesn't remember him. They were always meant to be together.

Tori does develop some feelings towards him, granted (we do learn that it's because he looks like her beloved but that's later, people couldn't have known back then), but that doesn't make Gyrus entitled to return them.

People shipping Roseberry shouldn't make the authors entitled to change THE ENTIRE PLOT simply because some people aren't happy with their story choices.

At that point there's been many hints that New Gyrus and Kodya are still attracted to one another and I'm just sad and confused that those people were in so much denial.

On the brighter side, the next episode really starts with Tori telling "Gyrus" that she knows he loves Kodya because she's seen him LITERALLY PINING SINCE DAY ONE. AND THAT SHES A LESBIAN.

case closed, right? Kodya and Gyrus are canon and still very much in love, and Tori herself is in love with another, yet unnamed woman.

well lo and behold: s2 finale's comment section!

we finally see Kodya and Gyrus sharing their first kiss onscreen, so someone in the comment section said something like "THEY FINALLY KISSED AAAAA OUR SHIP IS SAILING" which was also my reaction and a legit reaction to it??

and since there was A LOT of dislikes (over 1,6k I believe) the op edited to say something about homophobes and the backlash was even greater

and in the answers there was actually quite a lot of people being salty because their own ship didn't sail and

I mean idk

maybe I can't understand because my ship sailed and not theirs but what the hell

first of all homophobes exist. the authors commented that they had lost about 20% of their audience when they revealed that Gyrus and Kodya were canon, and they received a lot of hate online for it.

second of all as I said it's not about ships it's about the plot. strawbarrow was always endgame and the whole story, including the romance between Kodya and Gyrus and the important role it played on the story, been planned since over a year before RoS was published. this is not your story, if you're not happy about it go read or write some fix it fanfics (it's not so bad once you get used to it). but in terms of writing strawbarrow was so well executed, I feel like being mad just because of a ship is really disrespecting the authors' intentions.

third of all, it had been made painfully clear since A LONG TIME AGO that they wouldn't end up together. clinging onto that hope was really unnecessary. they shouldn't be mad anymore, it had been over for a while now and they should have made their peace. people complaining by the time of s2 finale were really just delusional.

fourth of all, the dislikes may not all be from homophobes but if they aren't then they're from jerks. it's not because you're unhappy that things didn't go your way that you have to hate on other people because they got what they wanted and not you. that's just being mean smh,, let people enjoy the things they like in peace

[razberrypuck]

an assortment of various fionna and cake finale thoughts :)

to start off: I did enjoy it a lot! it was a little bit underwhelming I will admit (I think just because it was way overhyped as this super ultra sad thing) and it did feel a little (lot) rushed towards the end but honestly I don't really blame them for that? they only had 10 episodes to work with and plenty of things to tie up, and overall I did enjoy the ending, even if it left some things VERY open.

THE NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE IN FIONNA WORLD HELLO??? that shit was genuinely unsettling I LOVE it

I enjoyed golbetty, I loved how intimidating they made her, but I wish we got more of betty as herself.

I liked seeing shermy and beth again. I like the nod to the audience that hey, this isn't an alternate reality betty sent simon to. this is their ooo, this book was written by this simon -- perhaps so he wouldn't forget what betty taught him. perhaps to cope, to explore what their lives could've been like, if he hadn't let betty sacrifice so much. I also did thoroughly enjoy the segments of casper and nova.

fionna should've lost her arm during the fight with the scarab I think. she's GOING to lose it one way or another. I feel like it would've been a nice way to make the scarab more of a threat towards the people living in fionna world and not just. idk. buildings.

ALSO THEY SHOULD'VE ELABORATED ON THE WHOLE ANTI-MAGIC TOUCH THING. it felt like that was building to something and then it just Didn't. it was not a factor in either of these episodes and that sucks a little bit.

I've seen a few people bring up "show, don't tell" in response to some of the episodes and I absolutely get where that's coming from. from a storytelling standpoint yeah, they could've shown more than they told -- but also, from a characterization standpoint, it feels like simon isn't the type to RESPOND to indirect approaches. if he was not told, directly, that casper and nova's relationship was horribly flawed despite the love they had for each other, the message wouldn't have gotten through his head. if he didn't keep talking about it, it wouldn't have stuck. look at his behavior jumping through dimensions; nearly every world they visited, the behavior of that world's simon was the inciting incident. farmworld simon died preventing the mushroom war from ever happening. winter king regained his sanity only by inflicting the madness on another. vampire world simon was killed before he found and raised marcy. in the case of farmworld and vampire world, it's like the universe is trying to tell him look at what happens when you die early. look at how much you matter. and in the winter kingdom, that there is no secret "middle ground" with the crown. you'll be stuck between forcing another to carry the curse or being ice king until the sun blows up. but he doesn't pick up on these lessons. he wasn't forced to look at the dead bodies of farmworld or vampire world's simons. he brushed the winter king off as just being a fucked up simon, and proceeding to say he could be cursed "the right way," as if there's any winning with that crown. hell, this even applies to his and betty's relationship! he never thought much about how much betty was sacrificing because it seems like she never brought it up. that obviously isn't an excuse, but my point is: simon is a man that NEEDS to be told things, not shown. he needs to talk about things to process them (also see his video logs of his descent into madness). also pointing loudly at casper's design he has bandages covering his eyes he CAN'T see. he CAN'T see the things that might seem obvious to other people. he CAN'T see how much nova is sacrificing. this bullet point got a lot longer than I meant it to be but that's my take on a lot of the "show don't tell" stuff in the finale, outside of, again, the episode feeling a bit too rushed.

the detail of the betty statue in fionna and cake's world turning into one of golbetty is one that I really like. it feels like. idk. acceptance, on simon's end. that's still the love of his life, now as she's chosen to be, rather than how he remembered her.

I feel like the open-endedness of a lot of the stuff we've seen is because the crew has said they're interested in making more spinoffs, but holy shit I wish we actually got to see how simon going missing EFFECTED people in ooo. I wish we got to see people, even just randoms that frequented his museum-house, growing increasingly concerned for the 20th century man that never missed a day of work. I wish we got to see finn, who knew simon was in an awful place the day he disappeared, maybe stop by to visit, only to find him gone. or marceline showing up because he wasn't answering her calls (he ALWAYS answers her calls) and being worried about him. I wish we got to see people looking for him, or assuming the worst, or finding the golb shrine he'd hidden away in his closet, or finding choose goose's fried corpse on the floor of his home. I wish we got to see the confrontation that came afterwards, or him going out of his way to find and apologize to astrid. but whatever. I guess.

scrabby being reduced to prismo's assistant bc prismo STILL put in a good word for him after everything. he really is everyone's friend. scrabby is legally mandated to chill the fuck out Or Else and prismo isn't even trying to get on his nerves he's a better man than me. not only did he "put in a good word" he GAVE scrabby what he WANTED, to some extent. he is a wishmaster (or rather, could become one) like??? prismo is the guy ever you could do anything and he could still chill with you.

the bittersweet ending to petrigrof has left a hole in my heart <3 they are everything to me and everything to each other but finally learning that it's okay to let go and move on despite the pain is the best ending their story could've gotten, in canon.

there's probably more in my brain that I could write about but its 6 am and I havent gone to bed yet so end of post <3

[coff-in]

I feel like whenever I’m having a bad day (or in this case, few months), I see other people have bad days too. It’s crazy how the world works and we all unite together to have either crappy or happy moments; it’s kind of wholesome that we all are brought together through our experiences and can share those vulnerabilities. It makes me feel a little better knowing I’m not isolated or alone, and that I’m not the only person with problems or struggling to get by.

I saw your last post, you said to ask about pressure, so I’m asking: How do you deal with pressure?

This is what I do when I feel stressed (maybe you’ll find some relief in this too): It’s a rule for me to always cry when something goes wrong, because crying released happy chemicals!

If I’m still bothered, I sleep for a few hours, take a Power Nap or just sleep and see if it still bothers me. If it still bothers me, I eat strawberry mochi. I also like coloring in those coloring books with flowers and a inspiring quote, it makes me feel better. When I’m sad, I always put on some Lo-fi or old love songs.

I always try reading Andrew Graves x reader content—or, at least what I haven’t seen. It’s a small fan base for separate Andrew Graves content. It’s how I discovered you a few months ago too! I enjoy looking for your work on my dashboard and I’m excited to see what you do next.

I hope thing’s get better for you, Coff-in! Never be ashamed or feel guilty about your own feelings or mental health. Don’t worry about time or rushing things, rushed work is never good work. Always remember to take breaks and worry about yourself; it’s your life after all. From one human being to another, take care of yourself. 💜⭐️

hi stellar :D when i asked ppl to send me questions about pressure, i meant the roblox game pressure ^^; this is ok tho!! no harm no fowl! (or is it foul? fowl is a bird, huh)

when i get stressed i usually get take a nap, maybe eat something, or watch youtube to distract myself. crying sounds really nice but i can't cry easily, sadly :( i also just try to draw! i like drawing and i find it easy to just pick up a pencil and doodle something :3 i also do it when i'm bored

its a tad bit hard for me to realize that "oh this blog is my blog, i can do with it what i want". or maybe i do realize that but still feel like i can't do certain things. hm. hm hm hm. so neat, such whimsy :3 i also relate to you seeking out andrew graves x reader content, but recently for me i've been searching out sebastian solace x reader fics. idk if people know this but im mostly a selfshipper, so seeing the whole zerum drama happen in that fandom is like... idk kinda silly to me. tldr: people were mad that the co-creator of the game (zerum) shipped her oc (zerum) with the shopkeeper sebastian. there's obviously more to it than that, but it reminded me when i was younger and i made a boyfriend oc for my persona (who i also sometimes wrote/referred to him as her brother... huh)

i'm going to be busy with work again, so hopefully i'll be able to write more since i usually start writing when i'm trying to avoid work or just to get away from it ^^; i hope that you're still doing well despite these hard months! i think it's a bit too easy for some to cur inward and isolate themselves from others. it was kinda nice being away from my coff-in blog. i do not say this as in 'i want to leave', but it was nice to just... idk feel like i didn't have to write? or take my time. i felt kinda bad tho, like there was a lingering thought in my head that i was deceiving you all. i was still able to write, so why wasn't i writing? stuff like that i guess

thank you for sending your ask, please take care of yourself!! <3

[73chn1c0l0rr3v3l]

some musing re: traumadumping & people's feelings on it, behind the cut

i've seen people talking about how "trauma dumping is people just not wanting to hear about your lived reality & is being a shitty friend" & something about that rubs me the wrong way, but i can't entirely put my finger on it. forgive some navel gazing & also some personal stuff.

my mother didn't have a lot of friends growing up, & she ended up telling me... like, everything. & i do mean everything, usually if i wasn't ready for it.

i was young enough (& she beat the shit out of me often enough) that i didn't really have a way to bow out without things going very very badly. so a conversation that was me asking "what was your favorite book as a kid?" would turn into my mother talking about how "this is how my brother's abusing me made me miserable" or "and that was after my second miscarriage" or whatever, & i was all of maybe seven years old & not up for that conversation.

it got so that i was always walking on eggshells around her, which i think was one issue with our relationship. even when she was dying, i was afraid of being alone in a room with her because i just. i could not deal with it. so much of my childhood was about trying not to set off HER temper or her upset - she could work herself into a frenzy & then it was an exhausting who knew how long of reassuring her or whatever. i grew up handling her emotions, & then i ran away to a different country. i didn't even talk to her for years at a time.

getting stuff dumped on me - big emotional stuff - sends me into a panic. it makes me feel like i'm trapped & i can't escape, like i'm seven years old again & i'm going to get beaten if i say "i can't handle this."

i had a friend once tell me that it made them uncomfortable if i checked beforehand before discussing heavy subjects, something about how "i feel like i'm not allowed to have feelings," & i worry i've made other people feel like that. i feel like you hit a competing access needs thing at that point - i can't do "let us now have a big Feelings talk" without first discussing said feelings talk (or a big topic that makes me intensely uncomfortable), even if it's just "are you up for feelings talk."

i had an ex who got mad at me for being upset about being sent a performance they did about a bad thing that happened to them... that was triggering material that hit me hard when i was in a bad headspace.

idk. this is long & rambling & possibly doesn't make much sense, but it always gets my hackles up when i see people complaining about people discussing trauma dumping.

like, i do agree that the term "trauma dumping" is thrown around a lot. but i think it can be deeper than "i don't want to hear about your bad day" & i'm kind of annoyed that there isn't a succinct way for me to SAY it without also bringing up my own trauma, since i'd find that intensely bad taste. i even find this whole damn post to be intensely bad taste, but i've been chewing on it for a while & i don't know what else to do with it.

[loelett]

sorry if this seems random but a little rant in response to what u reblogged about the new tv show.

TBH IT MAKES ME SO MAD THAT THEY ADDED *FORCED* RACISM (and by that I mean Louis taking lestat calling him his fledgling as "slave" like stop thats not what vc is about at ALL?????) AND HAD TO MAKE ANTOINE INTO ANTOINETTE TO SHOW HES BI 💀 I feel like the writers missed a lot of important points about the book and WHY Louis stuck with Lestat and was infatuated with him but hated him at the same time. they really changed character dynamics in it tbh. dont get me wrong, its a decent show, but I just can't see it as the same Louis and Lestat compared to the 1994 movie which I think did a good job in recreating what Anne wrote.

anyway hi 😍🥰😇...

I'm not really sure what forced racism means in the context of the iwtv show ngl. I mean I've really only seen the show through one and a half times but I do know that even Louis himself in the books labels himself as a slave to Lestat's whim (Claudia does as well; she also calls him a slave to Armand) (Lestat also does this in respects to Himself so even he agrees hrejgh) so even in the context of the books I don't really think it's forced or ooc for this connection to be made. Obviously the intention is different considering Louis' blackness in the show, but since this is a theme the show goes with (meaning the racism that Louis experiences in his time period) I don't really have a problem with that wording. I'm not black myself so this is just my opinion by the way, but I've always been pretty interested in the way they decided to change show Louis' race and backstory. It's probably the most interesting change they made imo.

Um yeah the Antoinette thing still sucks, I really don't know why they decided to go with that ?? Idk i always forget abt her so I guess I'm a hater. Agree 👍. We never needed to prove Lestat was bi esp in the first book so wharever? go off showrunners i Guess?? idk bout all that

Loustat's dynamic is completely different in the show and it's one I've rlly never been interested in. I know a lot of people enjoy it and I don't wanna take away from that, so no hate there idk do what you love. I'm just not an enjoyer of the abuser/abusee thing they kinda have going on. Um and the cheating stuff it's all just really exhausting to me. I just really like Louis' reaction to Lestat's actions in the book ! They aren't canon BECAUSE Lestat is abusive and controlling and manipulative and they don't even kiss until book 2, let alone express emotional/physical affection. Show Louis goes back to Lestat even after everything that goes on in ep 5 and. As a self proclaimed Louis self insert I just can't ever see him doing that in the books, at least not with Claudia still in the picture. IDK!

I'm really not a hater of the show, and I want all the Louis fans out there to really think about the way they react to the changes in his character from book to show. There are personality changes that I don't agree with either, but this is a different story and the original one has already been told. I don't have to like the show to respect it and its fans, and the whole pick a side thing between book and show is exhausting to me :/ there r things I like and things i don't like about both versions !

Sorry I know this goes really off topic HGFSHg.. love love