#but like. i see a lot of this and while some of it is definitely like intentionally engaging with this aspect of the text conscientiously

[tiamathh]

2025: A Brief Look (love n career) ☆

Hi angels! Happy new year may all of you be blessed and prosper and get everything you want and more <33 This PAC has Love and Career the other 2025 PAC will include social life and personal growth! Love you take care 🤭 here's to posting more this year and being consistent which is my new years resolution LMAO LIKES N' REBLOGS APPRECIATED

Masterlist || Paid Readings + FB || Tip Jar

Love [1 -> 3]

Career [A -> C]

Pile 1 ♡

Hey loves! So your love life is going to be really fulfilling this year, starting off there is this deep focus that you will feel when it comes to your social (romantic and platonic) connections and these may be what you will be caring about more in this year. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this year brings choices that align with your desires and what you may have wanted for a long while.

Dam pile 1 I am getting that you may have to make some really tough decisions this year, because there will be too many good choices, and it could make you a little confused, this im getting may be between a past love and a new one, one which you have been craving (past) and one which you may have wanted for along time (new) this is going to be tough for sure because the person from your past may come into your life this year when you are going through a time where you are on a nostalgia trip. This energy is sos trong that I just envisioned the 2oC, which talks about this year bringing a lot of harmony and balance in your romantic connections. This is the kind of love where you see eye to eye with the other person, and you guys have this almost atomic connection between the both of you, and is a pairing that feels equal and deeply cherished. If you’ve been waiting for someone special, this could signify a soulmate-like meeting. For the ones who are already with someone this year will deepen your bond, inviting more emotional intimacy and a lot of plans for the future, you guys will be taking things to the next level. However, as I already said with the tough decisions part, there may be moments of hesitation or misalignment in the way you express what you want and your emotions which can lead to miscommuncication that could have been avoided. You may feel overly idealistic, which could lead to disappointments if reality doesn’t meet your expectations entirely, you may also (due to your hesitance) hold back romantic gestures because of the fear of uncertainty.

Oof this year is definitely filled with a lot of healing, growing from your wounds and finding closure in simple things when it comes to love, if you’ve been carrying heartaches from previous relationships or struggles with self-love, 2025 will give you a chance to heal and almost get a restart. Romantically, the worst is a 100% behind you, as you are letting go of old pain and stepping into an environment which can foster a lot of love. Okay very very specific message, some of you may be welcoming or starting a new family this year, this can be with regard to fertility or marriage so have fun y'all and stay safe out there lol

x◉

Pile 2 ♡

Hey pile 2, love in 2025 this feels like it is mostly for the people who may experinece romantic love or relationships for the first tie this year, I sense the energy of the AoC with new relationships and the energy here is very very fresh, and this year may be the beinning of that long romantic journey and dating life that you may have wanted for a long while. There are going to be a lot of celebrations this year and you may meet someone at one of these celebrations, I am getting the celebrations and joy will revolve around family stuff, like engagements, marriages, birthdays, a party related to your family fs though. This is also a message that things may be getting serious this year for the people who have selected the pile and are in relationships, theres a message that there will be huge milestones that will be achieved in love this year like moving with your partner, and for the singles one out there like me, this could also apply to you guys because your relationships may be getting serious this year.

This pile is the longterm pile for sure, whatever the case may be single or taken, you will find someone who will be there with you for quite a few years. However, theres a lot of confusion here, may be some of you feel like you do not deserve the kind of love that is coming your way or feel like the love is "too good" for you or that there are some terms and conditions applied that you did not know of. This fear due to a lack of self love is going to be the biggest obstacle when it comes to your love life, here you are your own worst enemy. You need to be more reflective and loving to you and you are being encouraged to reflect on your approach towards love both for others and for you. If there are opportunities but your heart is closed, then it will be impossible for love to blossom no matter how strong it is and how badly it wants to come into your life. Unprompted advice here, don't get caught up in the fantasy of a relationship or what it should look like, your relationship can be just as loving and deep as someone elses even if the ways of expressing things are different. Now I am also getting that you could be someone who may be used to rationalising things very often. You need to go with your ut this year when it comes to love, listen to your intuition do not make a pros and cons list (even though thats what i do) just let your gut guide you and you will have the best love year you have ever had muah <3.

x◉

Pile 3 ♡

Hi my pile 3 <33 this is an amazing pile because I instantly SAW cards as soon as I started, okay so starting with the 2 main cards that I saw here those being QoC and the 6oP rx. With the first card here you will be coming into a space where you will completely embrace your empathetic and nurturing side, not being too worried about looking tough anymore.

This card shows that you are embodying the traits of the QoC, which will lead to your cup being filled by someone else as well, maybe someone older than you (romantically) here, they will help guide you and in return love just being in your presence because of this warmth you will be exuding this year. You will be connecting with people on a deep emotional (heart) level, feeling seen and supported in ways you’ve always craved and this is a year where emotional connection is key, and you’ll notice that you will attract a lot of people who may need healing. However, even though thes epeople will be lovely, and you will help thema lot, remember it is not your job to "fix" anyone, and that not everyone will be as giving and ready to reciprocate all the effort and love you put in. Now with the 6oP rx, the same thing I just said is being reiterated that there may be moments where the give-and-take in relationships feels off-balance. You could find yourself giving more than you receive which could almost make you feel like you are obligated to give without getting anything back.

But 2025 has a lot of "victorious" energy, like its fast paced and there will be a LOT of suitors coming to you this year with minimal obstacles, you will be actively partaking and taking steps to look for people, maybe even being the one who approaches people ooo sexy bold energy coming from you here in the dating sphere dam. Although this year is very positive for you in love, and filled with potential you are being tested, how long are you going to stay when you feel like you aren't getting much? How much are you willing to give? It's going to test your perseverance and see if you can stand strong in these situations or maybe make the best of them. Just because you have been hurt before, you will be cautious but don't let these past wounds hold you back, you can always grow.

Ok I just saw the KoC, this is PERFECT OMGG okay okay so I love that we have gotten court cards for the same suit, this shows me that someone who embodies this energy is going to be coming into your life, to balance things out, and give you what you deserve, but you will have to go through quite a bit of rocky talking stages to find them, that is if you are able to identify what you want and from whom in a relationship.

Pile 1 ✈︎

Pile 1 hiiii, your career in 2025 is all about stepping into your power and taking control of your career, you will be very structured and disciplined this year, you have a plan in mind and it will help you improve your leadership skills and be in the spotlight, I am getting star student/employee, someone others will aspire to be like. This year will help you improve your work ethic and create a solid foundation for your work in the future and embrace being in a position where you are in authority, you will also get way better at setting boundaries that means not doing more than you need to, and not being overly generous with the people who wokr alongside you.

You are going to be ON THE GRINDDD this year, working hard and being insanely focused, you will be putting in effort to also refine your communications skills mainly so that you can network more, maybe joining certification courses or mastering your craft but you will definitely be upskilling and trying to make the most of your time. I love this pile omg, you are going to be breaking free from unhealthy patterns or limiting thoughts you may have that could have held you back in the past, like stepping away from toxic work environments, not engaging in petty gossip, MAINTAINING WORK-LIFE BALANCE so you do not burnout and gaining more confidence in yourself. If there is someone with prominent fire energy in your life who may be causing some trouble, they will be toning things down, as you start becoming more self assured.

Although you will be making big big strides in your career and establishing yourself well, you may still find yourself in moments where you feel like you aren't financially stable or where family obligations can lead you to making choices you would not have otherwise, please keep in mind your family is important but you are allowed to make your own decisions removed from your family, not everything has to be done as a unit especially if it is very important to you.

x◉

Pile 2 ✈︎

Hi pile 2, 2025 is going to be a mix bag for you lot like although you’ll experience some significant new opportunities, it will have a lot of challenges. For some of you, there could have been like some strain and dificulty when it comes to financial stability or you could be feeling a lack of support from your family, you guys are my dreamers, you have passion and you want to pursue it, so the trade off for doing something you love is that things may be harder sometimes. You financial strain or lack of support you’ve been feeling might persist longer than you expect. There will be progress, but it may be slower than you’d like, and there might be times when you feel like things are still a bit unstable or just like stagnant, because it can be harder to see your own success and progress at times but trust me you will be progressing, but don’t lose hope babes because you will continue to rebuild, and the find financial abundance around the last quarter of the year.

Teamwork is a big thing here, you’ll need to focus on collaboration more than ever it's like when musicians colab with each other, very artistic vibes coming through here. Although you will have moments where you want to take charge or stand out, your growth will depend on your ability to work with others, being a lone wolf will only take you so far, you cannot and don't need to do everything on your own. I know it can be hard to put your ideas to words sometimes and articulate well, but just remember different opinions and ideas are not an attack on your opinions and ideas, they are simply just different and that's it. There will be a lot of breakthroughs and achievements, but most will require you to step outside your comfort zone and won’t always be smooth, and you may question whether your efforts are paying off or if its even worth it sometimes, wanting to take a more traditional route rather than making your own path.

x◉

Pile 3 ✈︎

PILE 3 MY LOVES this year you are going to get all the praise and recognition you DESERVE for all the work you put in. This will feel validating, and you’ll have moments to truly appreciate what you’ve achieved, but with this will comes the pressure to maintain that level of success, and you might find yourself feeling overwhelmed at times. Despite the recognition, you may find yourself holding onto things because of fears around scarcity or losing control and its natural to want to protect what you’ve worked hard for, but 2025 will require you to take risks. Invest in yourself, whether through further education, expanding your network, or making a different career move, trying to go for something new, will be crucial for growth.

While it might feel uncomfortable at times to loosen your grip, doing so will open the door to new opportunities that could lead to even greater success. The hard work you’ve been putting in will start paying off in a big way, and you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as you complete major goals. This is a time of fulfillment, where everything you’ve worked toward begins to come together. However, within all this like fast paced stuff you may start to feel signs of burning out and may start having less and less time for your friends and family, it wil. be like you will have tunnel vision for olny work because you want to succeed so bad which is valud but if you don't take care of yourself, the challenges will just keep being added to.

Success doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes it takes patience and steady effort rather than burning too bright and overworking yourself and then just not being able to keep up. This is your year to nurture what you’ve started and ensure that you’re building a solid foundation for the future, so don’t rush into the next big thing just for the sake of it. Now last message coming through is that there will be opportunities to resolve any conflicts or lingering negativity in your career. If you’ve been dealing with tensions at work or internal struggles about your career path, this is the year to let go of what’s been holding you back, where you will focus on releasing grudges, ego battles, or any negative energy that’s draining you and you will learn how to compromise better too.

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

[astudyinimagination]

You know what, don't just leave that there. Maybe, instead acting in deliberate bad faith, link the article: https://www.avclub.com/steven-moffat-condemns-ai

Heck, actually, I'm a bit miffed at the AV Club because the half of the subhead is not properly attributed. So I'm just gonna copy-paste the whole thing here because it's short. But before I do that, I'm going to say that, as an actual fangirl of Moffat, I forever have to contend with two things: 1. That he always does a lot of verbal vomit when he gives interviews. To be fair, I'm not sure that I would do that much better in his shoes. 2. That he has a certain sardonic wit that has always translated very poorly in written interviews, wherein writers almost never bother to try to convey his tone. He comes across much better when you can actually hear him speak, and in full context (something that's also rare in written interviews).

Full text of the article below (which includes a link to the origin of the interview, the Radio Times), with commentary from me:

Don’t worry, Whovians—it seems like the Doctor isn’t about to regenerate into a bastardized AI version of himself any time soon. Doctor Who writers Steven Moffat and Russell T Davies recently took on the topic of generative AI in a conversation with Radio Times, and while the former acknowledged that the technology is “fascinating,” he also derided it in the most “Doctor Who writer” verbiage possible. “My son explained it to me. He said, ‘Yes, it can do all these things. It might even get quite good at them. But it takes an immense amount of power to run AI.’ Whereas you can run a human being on sunlight and a vegetable patch,” Moffat said. [See, the first half of the subhead, or article subtitle, is Moffat's son speaking, but the subhead doesn't acknowledge that, which is extremely shoddy journalism on their part.] “Human beings are amazingly cheap, we’re knocking out human beings every day.” Definitely spoken like someone who spends his days writing about anything but. [Definitely spoken like someone with a very sardonic sense of humor, which apparently this writer can't grasp. By the way, the commentary in the article means that it's editorial rather than news, in case you were wondering.]

Still, Moffat does know his human patterns. “Unlike anything else in history, the more we use it, the less good it is,” he continued. “Because the more content that is out there produced by AI, the more it absorbs its own content, and eats its own tail.”

That’s a very astute—and upsetting—prediction, but Moffat and Davies aren’t all doom and gloom. After Davies got a quip in about how “television has run on those principals (absorbing its own content) for a very long time,” Moffat continued: “That’s true, but we occasionally have a new idea. I admit, it doesn’t happen very often, certainly not in my case, but occasionally I have a new idea. But [AI] will never have a new idea. That’s not what it does.”

Davies, for one, doesn’t think the two of them will be replaced any time soon. He’s also far more optimistic about the state of television than some recent reports suggest he maybe should be. The overall number of shows on the air may be steadily decreasing, but the showrunner thinks “the rate of new ideas on television is higher than we ever allow for.” “We always tend to think that things bumble along at a very average level, and the great outliers are here and there,” he continued. “And every month, or every two months—actually, every day, I could find you something brilliant on TV.” [I love his positivity here; it's very Doctorish.]

Hopefully, Doctor Who‘s upcoming Christmas special, titled “Joy To The World,” will be one of those brilliant things. The episode will feature Nicola Coughlan and see the Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) check into a “time hotel” that allows him to visit every Christmas Day in history. You can watch that adventure on our present Christmas Day, even if you can’t travel back in time.

I’m just going to leave this here

[flowersforthemachines]

Some facts about Davrin (and also Grey Wardens and griffons) gathered from the banters

I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).

Note: the list isn't 100% exhaustive. I may have missed something or didn't write something down because I had heard about it before or considered it common knowledge. If you think there's something that can be added to the post, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from)

Other characters' posts: Bellara, Harding, Lucanis, the rest to be added later this week

About Davrin

Family and past:

When he was a kid, Davrin broke his arm when his aravel sailed off a ridge 

Davrin stlll considers himself Dalish and thinks that will never change

Davrin hasn’t seen his clan since he left the forest. He misses the clan (‘it comes and goes’), Dalish food – especially halla milk and butter — and the sense of a common purpose. The last is why he joined the Wardens

Eldrin lives on his own, not together with Davrin’s clan

Just like Bellara, when Davrin was little, he wondered what it was like to his own house, shop at the market and make friends with outsiders

Davrin isn’t bothered by the idea of fighting the Elven gods because he never really believed in them, but he is worried about how the events of the Veilguard will impact the reputation of the elves

General:

Davrin drinks beer and wine

Davrin hums to himself :)

Davrin can speak some Dwarven 

Davrin doesn’t get the Fade - it’s just too many things at once (the place where spirits live, origin of creation etc.). He has difficulties believing it because it’s something he can’t touch or see 

Davrin would’ve left D’meta’s Crossing’s mayor to die

Davrin dumps griffon waste right into the Fade. No reservations about it whatsoever

Life with the Wardens:

Davrin says he never got used to hearing/sensing darkspawn after joining the Wardens

Davrin knows Ramish (protagonist of the Horrors of Hormkar)

The first group of Wardens Davrin fought with had a special system for fighting ogres. One of them would be “Cheese” (bait), drawing the ogre's attention while the others shot it with arrows (so Davrin can either use a bow or was always the Cheese) 

Monster hunting: 

Davrin can't take most books about monsters seriously, as they are not up to his standards

Fighting monsters is all about the thrill of the chase and tracking a target down rather than the victory

Davrin prefers to fight flesh-and-blood monsters rather than demons

Davrin takes full payment upfront when he hunts monsters for coin

Davrin has many monster trophies (Harding finds them disturbing)

Davrin does taxidermy 

Relationships with other companions: 

(In conversations with Bellara and Neve) Davrin genuinely believes Lucanis/Spite can kill them all 

(In conversation with Harding) Davrin proudly says Lucanis couldn’t take him 

Davrin made a little statue with a skull for a face as a gift for Emmrich’s colleague at his request

(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Davrin offers Emmrich to become a monster-hunting team (“Warden and lich. From darkspawn to demons, we've got you covered.”), thinking they could score a lot of coin

Davrin also offers Neve to set up shop together. “Minrathous Monsters and Murders. If it's claws and fangs stirring up trouble, we've got it covered.” Neve suggests Emmrich (and Manfred, if he's alive) joins them

Davrin and Neve met before the events of the Veilagurd on what Neve calls “The Vol Dorma Job”

About Assan and griffons:

Griffons like shiny things. Assan even once stole one of Bellara’s crystals (but later brought it back) 

(If Sent to Arlathan Forest) Griffons seem to 'remember' patrolling the forest, like it's a genetic thing

(If sent to the Wardens) Griffons listen to Evka

There’s no definite age for when a griffon is ready to carry a rider. It’s more about size and discipline 

(If Rook is in romance with Davrin) Assan gets a little moody/jealous after Davrin and Rook get together

Fade spooks Assan, so he doesn’t fly too far away from the Lighthouse 

Assan eats pastries from the kitchen

Assan doesn't like eating vegetables, but Davrin got him to eat carrots after Taash pointed out he needed more fibre in his diet

Assan misses Manfred when he dies

Assan can dive underwater and eat fish

Assan is curious about Neve’s wisps

About Wardens/misc:

Wardens slip Worry Weed into each other’s ale for kicks (it causes paranoia)

There is no definite timeline of how long a blighted person can survive without the Joining. It all depends on the person

Evka is good at telling spooky stories

Weisshaupt has a world-class library with books over a thousand years old

Wooden carvings can become haunted if blood gets on them

Wardens usually eat cold gruel for meals. Nobody knows what's inside it

[cyrdling]

Lovey (Jason Todd x Reader Oneshot)

a/n: i really hope i wasn't gone too long, lol. hope you guys like the blog retheming! for the story, reader is broke and lives in a shitty apartment.

now, you didn't know jason todd was the red hood. how were you supposed to know that the total hunk with mysterious scars all over and a tendency to leave in the middle of the night was a fucking vigilante? okay, yeah, maybe you were a bit oblivious. but nobody could blame you for it, since you were slaving away at your job and you lived in gotham, for goodness sake. if you had one week without some random attack by the local crazies, you could count yourself lucky. this meant that the time you had outside of work and city-wide emergencies was very, very little- you couldn't really sleep all that much, and you couldn't do any of your hobbies. in essence, you weren't really living- just surviving. no time to think about pretty boy jason, or to figure out how to lie about being fine.

despite your oblivious nature, you knew jason was incredibly observant. you didn't need to know he was a vigilante (which, by the way, he still teases you for) to know that he's very aware of his surroundings. he takes care to be very, very aware of where you are- other things he doesn't really care about. he wants to make sure he knows where you are so he doesn't hurt you if you startle him. he just wants to be as gentle with you as possible. however, because of his observance, he's noticed something is up with you.

he wakes up in the morning to you rushing to get ready for work, remembering how late you went to bed last night. he decides to say something.

"sweetheart, why are you going to work? you slept so late last night," he practically mumbles. he has to keep his voice quiet, or else you might notice the soft little whine to it- he just wants to cuddle and keep you close, so not being able to absolutely breaks his big heart.

"sorry, jay- i need to work, i won't be affording this apartment and i can't miss a day just because i'm too tired. i know you'll miss me, baby, but i'll be back before you know it," you tell him, speaking at a volume normal to you, sure, but the quiet paradise of your bedroom was practically shaking from the sound. jason sighs, giving you his best puppy dog eyes to try and guilt you into staying. you're his little angel, he wants to hug you like a teddy bear while he curls up under your blankets.

you sigh, kissing him on the lips, while his adorable tactic doesn't help his case. then, you grab your phone, and leave. he sighs, deep and tired, as he pulls out his phone to check the time before he gets up. he goes through his morning routine without you- brushing his teeth, combing his hair, putting on his sweats and a tee shirt, eating a balanced breakfast (which he's very sure you didn't do, because the one he made for you and put in the fridge is untouched) and then sitting down in front of the television to think about you.

now, jason doesn't think about you every second of every day- he has to figure out how to save the city, after all- but he definitely comes close. he'll be walking down the street and see some items you might like, in a little storefront. he's watching television, and an ad for that one show you like shows up, and he looks to his side to talk about it with you, but you're not there. he decides that if he wants you to be happier, he'd have to do a lot of work.

first, he goes to the grocery store and buys all the stuff you're running out of, and stuff you've said you wanted to try but never had the funds. he even gets a couple extra things he thinks you might like, too, even if you've never said anything about them. he racks up quite the bill, but it's fine- bruce will pay for it.

second, he goes to a furniture store to replace your ratty couch and get you something cute and nice. he gets you some insanely expensive furniture, especially in comparison with what you bought for yourself, and even got you a couple knickknacks from an antique store nearby. like the first bill jason got, bruce will, once again, pay for it.

last, he goes to the wayne manor. there's some things he wants to get that he can't exactly buy- mainly sentimental things- but he wants to show you that he's making an effort to trust you, and turn your apartment into a home. he gets some framed photos off the walls of his old bedroom, some books, and other little things that he thinks you might find cute. while he's carrying his huge bag of goods, he comes across bruce. they stare each other down for a while, and bruce speaks first.

"is this for your partner?" he asks, stern voice bouncing off the walls and buzzing in jason's skull.

jason smirks, "yeah. what's it to you?" the last word ending in a slight raise of his voice.

bruce sighs. "nothing. just tell me the next time you plan to spend that much money in one day," with that, he turns and leaves- a barely imperceptible smile on his face at the fact that finally, finally jason has found someone to love.

jason hops in his car- he couldn't trust himself to carry that much on his bike, let's be honest- and drives back to your apartment. he drags all his luggage up to your floor, struggling only slightly to open your door. thankfully, all of the furniture he got was delivered- thank goodness for money- and he just took a few trips to carry it up (and also had dick help some).

with all of these things in his sight, he suddenly became insecure. what if you didn't like the foods he got you? what if you didn't like the furniture, or thought the stuff from his childhood room was stupid?

he heard footsteps down the hall.

heard someone fiddling with their keys.

heard the door opening.

you came in, and saw him in the center of a long day of work- his eyes widen, and he greets you- nervously, stuttering a little, just a bit too loud for the situation.

"hey, sweetheart- um- i got you some things," he sighs, almost defeated. oh god, you're gonna hate him. you're gonna leave him for someone who knows what gifts to get you, who knows how to talk to you about things. he feels his palms going clammy, his heart thundering away in his chest, his lungs struggling for air- wait, why are you smiling? you're not supposed to be smiling. does this mean you're happy with this? you laugh, and he feels his heart shoot directly through the upper floors of your apartment and into the stratosphere. he's sure you'd be losing your security deposit for that, but he can't bring himself to care. he'd pay for it, a million times over, just for you.

with his help, you put all of the food away, throw out your ratty couch, rearrange the furniture, and set up the knickknacks and sentimental items around the place. the entire way through, though, jason stares at you starstruck- if you look close enough, you might be able to see the hearts forming in his eyes. he, in his ever-helpful wisdom, told you to quit your job. when you ask why, he only told you one thing- and he kept repeating it whenever you'd ask.

he'd tell you, "it's my job to take care of you, lovey. i'll pay for it," his eyes full of love and his thumb caressing your cheek. he is quite the partner, ain't he?

please reblog if you enjoyed this one!! i definitely had a lot of fun writing it!

[nightcolorz]

why do so many people act like lestat has better morals or is nicer then Armand in some way? there is nothing in the books that suggest this, Lestat and Armand have committed like the same exact crimes (even the sexual ones.) have fairly similar philosophies on murder (lestat tries to only kill criminals cuz he doesn’t want to take innocent life, Armand tries to only kill people who want to die and would otherwise take there own lives bcus he doesn’t want to take the life of someone who wants to live) Lestats moral stance on killing is more brutal arguably then Armand’s bcus he chooses to kill criminals cuz he likes chasing down his prey and tormenting them it’s fun for him, and Lestat finds maintaining his criminals only rule very hard bcus he “loves innocent blood it tastes better” which is fun. Armand sometimes brutally kills or hunts too and definitely drinks a lot of innocent blood but more often then not tries to make his killing as sparse and merciful as possible. Literally the only evidence at all that Lestat is a better person then Armand is the fact that most of the books are narrated by Lestat who is always informing the audience of his perspective while committing his crimes while Armand never explains anything he ever does even in his own book. But taking “we know more about what lestat thinks” to mean “lestat is a better person then Armand cuz he’s easier to understand” is shallow and biased imo.

show only fans who think Lestat is a better person then Armand make even less sense to me bcus there is even less to suggest this in the show, in fact there is significant evidence to suggest the opposite 😭? But again, Lestat and Armand both torture people, they both are physically violent and scary, both are abusive, both are highly motivated by histories of trauma and being crazy, etc. they are like the same amount of bad 😭 did I miss the thing that told everyone that lestat has a kind heart and Armand doesn’t 💀. I think people just sympathize easier with Lestat in the show bcus he has a really sad backstory we r informed of, but idk bcus we r also informed of Armand’s very sad backstory that In my opinion is easier to conceptualize as capable of breaking someone’s brain to the point where they casually enact torture and live in a constant state of violence. the worst of Lestat’s trauma happens to him when he is like (in the show) 37? 💀 which is still terrible, obviously, but man. I don’t see how he is more sympathetic then Armand😭

[tizeline]

So, in canon rise all of the turtles growing up know about how having Donnie's shell unprotected, probably from some childhood incident. And we can see in the show anytime Donnie's shell is bare; they all rush to protect him. How would they react to Donnie getting hurt because of his shell in this AU? What do they think of his battle shell? I assume they don't even really register Donnie as a softshell turtle because of his battle shell. Would this add to Raph's whole overprotective big brother instinct thing he gets because he catastrophizes Donnie's whole situation.

Also during the finale, we see that the lair gets trashed and has a huge cave in. So obviously Splinter, Donnie, and Sheldon would need to find a new place to live. Would the Drax fam help them build a new home? Are we going to see Donnie's reaction later to his home being destroyed, because losing your childhood home and your safe space must be awful. So, to maybe add a cute little twist, would Donnie, Splinter, and Sheldon live with the Drax fam for a little while?

Another thing, since Leo is obsessed with Sonic, Donnie should totally be obsessed with Wicked the musical. Another green person who sings on Broadway with similar themes of being outcasted and caring about how other people perceive them and using that perception to base their own self-worth, and she's also ostracized from society? Elphaba is written for Donnie. Donnie's theatre kid heart is an Elphaba stan and no one can convince me otherwise.

Donnie's brothers are very protective of him in this AU largely because he was separated from them for such a long time and they're afraid of losing him again. That being said, I think him having a soft shell also fuels this overprotectiveness. They do know that he is a spiny softshell before reuniting with him, Draxum told them about it, and that very much reinforced the whole "helpess victim in need of saving" type view they already made up in their imaginations of Donnie. (Not only is he in the clutches of the evil humans, but he's even more vulnerable than his hard shell brothers!) And remember that Donnie's battle shell in the AU isn't really armour the way it is in canon, it's main function is as a jetpack and maybe, like, a backpack (it has storage space). It doesn't cover the lower half of his back, so his soft shell is still visable and as such vulnurable. Donne getting hurt because of his lack of armour (biological or technological) would definitely freak his brothers out even more, but they're already pretty careful with him honestly.

Anyway, you are completely right about Donnie, Splinter and Shelldon moving in with the Draxums when their home in the sewers is destroyed XD It's kinda awkward, but at that point the Draxums and the Hamatos have learned to get along a lot better. But yeah, losing his home is very hard for Donnie, he's definitely the type of person who doesn't deal well with sudden big changes like that. I do wanna depict this part of the story eventually, but it's probably gonna be a while until then.

And god yeah, Donnie is ABSOLUTELY a huge fan of musicals lmaooo! He acts so overdramatic and theatrical all the time and the show makes it clear several times that he loves music so yeah, total theater kid. I haven't actually seen Wicked so I can't really meaningfully comment on the concept of him being a fan of that specific musical, other than omg yes Elpheba being an outcast and also GREEN he totally projects onto her.

[bunnithechubs]

transcript:

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA] yesterday V: Good Morning, Blue. Ami I finally going to get a response from you? R: SimPay $250 NAILS V: Can I at least get a pic of your nails??? Today 10:15 AM V: Morning, Blue. hope you enjoyed your nail appointment. Think we can grab coffee soon?

V: What's for lunch today, Dad? A: Salmon stew. How was your work out, Papi? V: Pretty good. I was actually able to increase my reps. A: That's good! Go on and eat. I'll meet you after I make my espresso. V: Alright, thanks for the food dad.

A: By the way, your brother said he wanted to come visit. V: sighs You mean he wants to come here to lecture me. A: He just misses you and he’s even bringing Mae with him. Dad, you don’t have to lie. V: I know he’s mad at me partying. A: If he is he has not said anything to me. I think he just missed us while he was in Henford. V: Riiiiight. A: Go up and shower. I’ll clean up, Papi. He’ll be here soon.

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA CONT.] 11:30 AM V: Blue. just let me follow you, damn.

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA CONT.] 12: 06 PM V: I will literally give you whatever you want if you let me follow you. R: SimPay $1.5K PICTURE

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA CONT.] 12:10 PM V: I really wanna be vulgar to you right now, but I'm trying to stay on your good side. R: ?? V: ... your boobs + my face = dream come true 12:30 PM V: Alright Reina. I'm tired of the thirsting over you. I'm making reservations for dinner. I want to take you on a date. Saturday night, I'll send you a car at 7:30 pm. R: See you, Satursday. R: I will not be seein gyou clubbing or seeing women, correct? V: No you will not, Reina.

A: You’ve been on your phone a lot lately. Did you finally get through to Jennifer? V: No. Jennifer blocked me a while ago. I met someone new and I’m going to take her out Saturday. A: Who is this new girl who has my son smiling and texting so much? [doorbell rings] V: We’ll have to save that for another time dad.

C: Hey Vin- V: Hand her over! sighs C: Nice to see you too. coos V: You missed your Uncle Vinny huh? Man she’s getting so big. Last time I saw her she barely had any hair. C: Don’t remind me, I wish I could keep her that small forever. She loved the bear you got her for Winterfest by the way. V: I knew she would. See that’s why Uncle Vinny is your favorite- right?

A: There’s my hijo. How was the trip here? C: Hey dad, smooth. The roads here are clearer than in Newcrest. A: No Kitty today? Nope just Mae and me. C: Kitty had a deposition for work. She sends her love though. A: How’s she doing with the pregnancy? C: It’s been pretty rough for her so I’m convinced it’s a boy. A: Do you want me to come by more often to give her a break? C: That would help out a lot actually. A: I’ll pack a bag and stay a few nights. Give Vinny some time alone.

A: She must have been up the whole car ride with how quickly she went down. C: Oh yeah, she babbled at me the whole drive. She definitely got that from her mother. A: Soon she will have a little sibling babbling with her. C: Yeah, I hope they are best friends. A: You boys were close as kids. I’m sure they will be too. Do you think she will be jealous with there being a new baby? C: I don’t think so but I’m sure we will handle it if it comes up.

C: So, Vinny- V: I’m fine, Cain. C: You expect me to believe that? V: I expect you to act like my brother and trust me when I say I’m fine. C: There is no world where going out every night and sleeping with multiple women in a week is fine, Vinny. V: You’re one to talk. Need I remind you of where I learned this from? C: Exactly. I wasn’t fine when I was doing the same shit you were. So want to try this again but with honesty?

V: I am being honest- I’m fine. C: So Jen having a new boyfriend doesn’t bother you? V: No and why do we even need to bring her up? She broke up with me, remember? C: Vinny, she asked for space and you said- V: I knew she reached out to you. C: She did and for good reason. V: Look, I’m fine. I found a new girl and I actually like her. Ask dad I haven’t been out this week and I haven’t been seeing anyone. A: He’s not lying. C: Dude, a girl is not going to fix what’s eating at you inside.

V: This is why we never talk anymore. You’re too damn nosey. If I want to sleep with all of the women in San Myshuno then I will. Right now I really like this girl and I’m on my best behavior. Maybe you should send her a thank you card or something. C: What’s her name- maybe I will? V: I’m not telling your nosey ass one more thing. C: You really like her? V: I do. C: Then I hope it works out for the best Vinny. I just want to see you happy. That’s all. V: Start with bringing Mae around more and hanging out with me. C: I can do that.

[mrasmus]

I'm definitely in the "can notice (and is bothered by) flicker" so this is near and dear to my heart. Even people who are less sensitive to it can actually often perceive the issue in a minor way by just... waving their hand while lit by a single flickering light source. If you see discrete positions that your hand is in, like layered animation frames, that's the flicker in action; comparing to sunlight is the easiest way to see the stark difference.

The other factor involved with LED's (which is also important with photography/videography) is CRI ("Color Rendering Index") which is a measure of... basically the component makeup of the light source. Lights produce a range of colors that get perceived as one net color (the "color temperature"). Because of their nature, incandescent bulbs are... very solid on the CRI front, but LED's, especially cheap ones, aren't, and some people are sensitive to that as well. Luckily the more premium bulbs that have good anti-flicker are often the ones with higher CRI's, and CRI is less of a problem for people in general, but if you're shopping bulbs, the ideal to look for is the 90+ range. I don't really get too bothered until it's under 80, but it's worth knowing what's out there, IMO. If you are doing photography, 90+ isn't negotiable.

My personal lighting is almost exclusively Philips and Cree, but there are a lot of manufacturers who have stepped up their game. I'm hoping that the flicker issues will continue to fall away as time goes on.

(Also, incandescent isn't a solution for either of these problems. LED's that account for both of these shortcomings are still going to be less expensive when you factor in the total cost of ownership, compared to all of the incandescent bulbs they'd replace. This is dumb culture war nonsense, holy crap.)

This is one of those things where the discourse is just completely broken. Both of these takes are shit and no one is concerned about the actual problem.

Republicans want to bring back incandescents because they just want to trigger the libs and have decided light bulbs are woke.

And the "LEDs are fine" crowd are throwing people with flicker sensitivities under the bus. And, no, you don't have to be "pretty far on the spectrum" to notice a difference. And even if you did... why in the world is this person so dismissive of the millions of autistic folks?

LEDs, for the most part, are superior to incandescent bulbs. Collectively they save people billions of dollars in energy costs and greatly reduce fossil fuel use. You have more options for color and brightness. You can control them with your phone. LEDs are fantastic.

Unfortunately there is a design flaw that makes LEDs hard to use for certain people. Due to AC power, most LEDs have a 60hz refresh rate. Meaning they turn off and on 60 times per second. With incandescents this didn't matter because the filament didn't have time to lose its glow between cycles.

Most people cannot see this flicker in LEDs. But there are millions of people who are sensitive to it and it can cause migraines and discomfort.

The solution is definitely not to go back to incandescents. There are flicker free LEDs and I think with some regulation we could make sure all LEDs are flicker free or at least make sure flicker free bulbs are easy to find and not priced at a premium.

Thankfully there is a group testing bulbs to find the ones that will most likely cause no discomfort. They call themselves the Flicker Alliance and their website has a pretty decent selection of tested and approved bulbs.

So if you feel like your LED bulbs might be causing you distress, that is a good resource to try. I think there is also something you can do to make sure the LED drivers are using DC power, but I haven't really looked into that.

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Aight aight we gotta talk. Get a snack, cause this is kind of a rant.

NOT SPOILER FREE!

Like I said before, things were really busy yesterday so while I did pull Zayne's card, I didn't actually get around to watching it until now. Prior to watching this I saw a lot of negativity surrounding discussions of this memory, Absolute Zeal. Lots of people complaining that they had problems with them "pretending to be strangers" and that the morning after felt like a "one night stand".

Allow me to offer some of my thoughts on this. Again, these are purely my thoughts on this memory, and if anyone didn't know, Zayne is my main so lemme have my moment to defend this card.

The only glaringly obvious problem I had with this one was the fact that MC intentionally let Zayne consume alcohol knowing he avoids it. Now to me, if someone says they dont eat/drink a certain thing, I go out of my way to make sure they don't end up consuming it. And she did it because why? She got flustered that Zayne admitted to having deep feelings for her and she got embarrassed? Not good enough and lazy writing imo.

Complaints about them pretending to be strangers. Imo, couples pretending to strangers sometimes is not new. MC was just trying to get him to admit something deeper beyond his normal care for her, and it looks like she got more than she asked for with him admitting that the thought of life without her would be the definition of true loneliness. Now moving on to the aftermath.

We know Zayne is a lightweight. It's no surprise that he got tipsy. And once MC sees what happened to him, it does look like she regretted her actions and obviously tries to comfort him through this process. Btw, I thought tipsy Zayne was adorable, the way the VA was slurring his words was really cute. MC keeps insisting on giving Zayne hangover pills which he refuses and he keeps trying to initiate things with her, and she does do a decent job warding off his attention at the beginning because he's drunk.

Now here's where a lot of the discussions I read seem to baffle me. A lot of people seem to be equating Zayne's advances on MC as almost grapey. Like how drunk men take advantage of women then try to excuse their behavior because they had been drinking. I simply didn't get this vibe here? MC and Zayne have established a lot together and I genuinely feel that MC would have firmly said no if she wasn't feeling it and Zayne would have listened to her.

Secondly, MC doesn't seem to know that Zayne loses control of his evol when inebriated. Granted, there doesn't seem to be a set of fixed criteria for this to happen, so it was a coin toss imo. But when she does see it happening, she realizes her mistake and is so soft with him, reassuring him that she loves him and that he doesn't need to change anything about himself. People seemed to almost blame her saying she did this for the sake of fun and she wanted him to lose control? Maybe she did but not in this way.

Zayne on the other hand seemed almost insecure when drunk, perhaps because he knows how in control he is and he may have felt a surprising sense of freedom when he saw how he was? Basically put, he wasn't aware of how the alcohol would affect him and perhaps he saw himself as more easygoing in that moment? There's going to be insecurity and vulnerability in relationships, especially long term ones. Like geez, give the guy a break. Things like this happen, it's natural to be awkward when you're stepping out of your comfort zone.

To him, he feels like he's breaking rules like drinking alcohol and being uncharacteristically dominating over MC, but maybe alongside that confusion there's also a rush of excitement that he could be this person? There's a lot happening, and I can appreciate his struggle in not knowing how to process this.

Now the other thing that people seem to be complaining about; something about Zayne and MC being shy around each other the morning after and acting like they had a one night stand instead of being a couple that's been together for some time. Couples can still feel awkwardness with each other no matter how long they've been together if they do something that is new or out of the norm for them.

As someone that's been married for a significant amount of time, I'd like to say that due to reasons, my husband doesn't drink either, and I drink very sparingly. If he had done something very out of character regarding sex, I think both of us would have been shy while we have the discussion afterwards. It's not out of character.

And both of them needed to get his car back from the hospital and return to work. They found reassurance in their relationship being there for them despite them being busy. Because at the end of the day, people can go for hours without talking while at work (speaking from personal experience here) and also be perfect cuddlebugs when you're both back at home.

Zayne here gets the affirmation that MC always loves him despite his controlled, slightly colder presentation, and MC gets to see that Zayne is willing to anything for her, even be drunk and be this alternate version of himself of that's what makes her happy.

I didn't see anything in this card that made me hate it or even think it wasn't hot. It was INCREDIBLY spicy, especially him saying things spiral out of control when she's around. It's said in such a ragged way, like he's almost in awe of what he's willing to do for her. In the end, it feels like they didn't quite have sex but there was definitely an intense makeout session and some wandering hands for sure. Which I feel would be more in character for them not wanting to take advantage of his drunkeness.

People saying Zayne will never initiate something hot like this again because he was only doing it while drunk? Zayne does initiate, it's just more subtle than this. And now that he's seen that MC isn't opposed to being a little manhandled, he might do it again perfectly sober. A lot of his control comes from his insecurity of imagining how life would be without her.

So to people hating on this card, I almost feel like you're being critical of the fact that Zayne and MC seem to be the most "married". Marriage and even long term relationships have partners go through bouts of doubt and insecurity but that in no way reflects the depth of the relationship.

There. End rant. Sorry for unloading so much on New Years. Have an awesome day my lovelies!

[readngandweepng]

talking mostly nsfw of ftm rdr2 boys ft. charles sean (high and low honor) arthur kieran micah and javier with a top reader

MDNI amab reader with no pronouns mentioned. contains afab language and talk of dysphoria, binding, and periods in the first half plus breasts sex etc btw this is long

short first section mostly just sfw about if they feel dysphoria, if they bind, and what they're like on their periods etc.

i really can’t see charles getting much dysphoria at all, if any. part of him wouldn’t really care much how people see him as long as the gang/his friends see him as a man. the way outsiders perceive him isn’t something he thinks of much. even if the gang didn’t see him as a man for whatever reason it’s not something he’ll be that upset about. he’s confident in himself to never doubt his identity, despite any feminine features he bears. however he’s not afraid to knock someone out if they’re seriously taunting him and being a jackass. charles is also a great person to go to if you’re feeling dysphoric. his words are quality over quantity, and even someone with the worst dysphoria can feel a little better after listening to him.

i feel like charles would have a pretty big chest, so if he binds before going out into town he’s really doing it for the sake of holding up his male appearance to avoid any complications. at camp he’d wear baggier clothing just as a general thing but i don’t see him feeling the need to bind as much. he’s really not that bothered by his breasts; they’re just another part of his body to him and that’s about it. he can experience back pain and bodily stress, so it’s possible that binding can help relieve that pain, which in that case he definitely will bind. 

charles gets cramps but he’s pretty good at powering through them. he may hiss in pain every now and then but usually they don’t really get in his way much. though if they get particularly bad charles is a master at finding methods to soothe the pain. his period doesn’t change his mood much, aside from making him a little hungrier than usual. he’ll have extra snacks in his pockets prepared just for his cycle so he can eat while he sits around the fire or does chores. his sex drive also slopes, going from almost non-existent at the start of his period and then gradually getting hornier as it reaches its end. you’ll know his period’s almost over when he starts getting touchy-feely or when you can feel his gaze on you more often. 

sean’s flat chested in my mind, probably the flattest of everyone. maybe used to experience chest dysphoria as a teen but as he got older he started to see his breasts as pecs and now isn’t afraid to waltz around with his shirt off. (probably would have done so anyway, he’s ballsy like that) his hair doesn’t make him dysphoric but he’ll still make sure it’s at its reasonable length. for fun, sean would probably like dolling up, stealing a dress from karen and then prancing around it at camp just to fuck with people and maybe even get a guy to hit on him just to turn around and laugh in his face like an asshole lmao.

unlike charles, sean can NOT handle cramps at all. he’ll be curled up in a ball until they go away, whining and huffing when people tell him to get up and work. and when he is up and about all he does is complain about it hurting. even when he’s not cramping he’ll still be complaining until someone like karen or grimshaw tells him to pipe it down. if someone offers him some herbs or tonic he’ll all of a sudden try to pretend like he doesn’t need it but then will end up downing a bottle of whiskey later just to try and relieve the pain. he’ll also want to have sex with you to cope with his cramps. 

on his period he’s less chatty and a lot more grumpy. snaps a lot when he’s not in the mood to talk and even drinks less at times (when it’s over he’s back to the bottle though). his sex drive surprisingly plummets and he can even be a bit touch-averted. this can happen in spurts, where he’ll be sitting in your lap one minute and then all of a sudden won’t want to touch you again for the rest of the day. his breasts also become very tender even to the point where wearing a shirt that’s just a little bit too tight can be painful or uncomfortable. he’ll let you kiss him on the forehead or give him a side hug but for the most part he’s not as bubbly as he usually is. and when his period’s over he’ll try to wrack pity from you for not giving him enough love and attention.

out of everyone here i think (high honor) arthur would experience the worst dysphoria. he’d try really hard to pretend like the dysphoria doesn’t bother him, but he will be noticeably very happy and feel just a little bit more confident in himself when receiving affirmations from his close friends. if he’s out in town, he greets everyone just the same. he gets a bit of a pep in his step when he hears people referring to him as “mister” as they greet him back. arthur’s heart skips a beat if he overhears someone talking to a woman, fearing that someone’s talking to him. but when he turns around and sees a conversation happening elsewhere his anxiety slowly settles. really he tries to avoid going to town when he’s feeling dysphoric for these reasons, but also because he can’t help but over-analyze himself in other people’s eyes in fear of them seeing nothing but a woman, regardless of his muscles and rugged appearance. in a long-lasting relationship he won’t be as scared and lots of progress can be done however the dysphoria never does go away.

his breasts aren’t too large, but he’d still bind and would need to be reminded to change the bindings or take them off. arthur doesn’t like wearing too many layers so he sees binding as a bit of a hassle, and some days he’s too stubborn to bother with it so he just puts on a thicker jacket and calls it a day. he might need someone to remind him to bind when he goes into town, just for his sake. he can get into a headspace where he feels like he doesn’t need to bind for whatever reason, so having someone there to clear his head is something he’s eternally grateful for. 

when he’s on his period arthur doesn’t really like to admit he’s cramping. if someone asks why he’s groaning in pain he just waves it off and blames it on “being old”. charles and the girls will see through it and only then will he bashfully shrug in admission. he will hesitantly take any remedies they give him and may or may not actually use them. his period definitely physically weakens him a lot more than it may the others. all of a sudden lifting a hay bale feels like trying to carry a whole bison over his shoulder, and even riding his horse feels like a huge chore. he doesn’t get grumpy but he definitely gets depressed. will become more distant and will spend time away from people until his period’s over. his sex drive can randomly spike though. you might see him wander into the woods just to turn around and see him there with rosy cheeks as he asks you if you’d like to accompany him to his tent.

(low honor) arthur feels dysphoria but nowhere near as bad as his high honor counterpart. his dysphoria comes less from his outward appearance and more from within. he speaks to townspeople with trepidation because deep down he’s on edge in fear of hearing even a little bit of hesitation in their greeting. he becomes cold when dysphoric, even with you he’ll try to drive affirming words from you, pushing you to call him mister or to tell him how handsome he looks. he wants validation even when he doesn’t realize it.

lh arthur, even in the midst of dysphoria could really care less about his tits. there’s still some underlying insecurity but overall he could whip them out whenever he wanted to and wouldn’t be bothered. he almost gets off on it to be honest. he’ll use his own breasts to his advantage if he really needs to. both arthur’s in the right mindset can also see their breasts as pecs the same way sean can. lh arthur doesn’t feel the need to bind, but it’s not something he’s never done before. if someone like dutch insists upon it for whatever reason, then fine. but in his own accord it’s not something he cares much about. 

on his period he’s honestly the exact same, except maybe a little more cocky. something about his cycle has him just a tiny bit more confident and in over his head. he’ll be more antagonistic but also flirty. he’s also a huge tease. he’ll sit on your lap and grind into you just to pull away and leave camp for like two days. surprisingly, he won’t have sex on his period, not once. before and after? hell yes. but during? no. he doesn’t know why and neither do you. 

kieran feels some dysphoria, but i think his main problem is just insecurity and anxiety. he’d shrivel up very easy at any rude comments so receiving compliments and assurance goes a very long way. he doesn’t care about his hair length, but he does much prefer having facial hair. feeling/seeing a clean-shaven face on himself can make him feel a bit dysphoric, but again he’s really just anxious about how people perceive him. he will cry if he gets misgendered in public which is why he always has some facial and other visible body hair. over time if he’s around people who support him he will feel less insecure and will slowly garner more confidence until eventually he barely ever feels dysphoria.

i think he’d have pretty big breasts, second to charles. he definitely binds and layers his clothes when he’s anywhere but with his friends or you. if he’s been with people long enough that he doesn’t feel dysphoria anymore he’ll still bind but won’t layer his clothes as much. with you there are some insecurities about not being manly enough for you, but of course that is something that eventually deteriorates over time as your relationship progresses. he most likely will never be able to walk around camp shirtless like sean, but he can loiter in your tent without a top on as long as it’s just you and him, albeit with a very red face. 

his cramps vary. either he has cycles where he’s completely cramp-free or he randomly is struck with pain so bad he needs to sit and curl up in a ball for an hour. he gets a lot of headaches that he needs to sit down for and his sex drive fluctuates a ton; he’ll be super horny for one entire day and then the next he feels absolutely nothing. also gets distant more than usual, sticking to the horses and not making much conversation, and if he does get in conversation he’s somewhat curt and almost impatient, but right when his period is over he’ll be chatting it up with everyone and acting like he usually does.

micah 100% experiences dysphoria that he pushes down like crazy, he’s the second worst to arthur. would never admit to feeling dysphoric, but you can see it in his actions, like wearing a jacket over his shirt even when the weather is warm and hot. on the outside he’s high and mighty but inside he’s going through a literal hurricane. he really doesn’t want to admit that he feels like shit and most likely never will unless you’ve been together for a while. strangely he’d feel dysphoric if his hair was longer past his shoulders, and if he notices it’s even an inch longer than he wants it to be he’ll cut it even if he ends up doing a shit job. he simultaneously feels inner distress about not having a penis but at the same time gets really cocky about having a pussy.

i can’t really decide whether micah either refuses to bind entirely just out of spite or if he’d be too scared to go out without at least some thing around his breasts. he’s not flat by any means but they’re not too big either. he’ll bind or layer up to try and conceal his breasts but if his shirt happened to get undone when at camp and someone makes a comment, a part of him wants to say fuck it and pretend like he’s not bothered and another part of him wants to tear down an entire tent and wrap it around himself. micah’s very capricious, he can be showing off his tits one minute and doubling up on shirts with a jacket on the next. micah’s another one who, overtime and with progress will feel less insecure. 

when he’s on his period you may or may not will be able to tell; he’s snappy, grumpy and mean, but also very depressed. might make a comment to someone passing by but really doesn’t have the energy to continue his taunting further even if he gets a reaction. loses motivation very quickly and gets frustrated with himself often over little things. if he’s particularly sad and angry he’ll make especially mean comments to charles or arthur out of his own projection and insecurity. if he had a cycle where he was mostly depressed and quiet, when it’s over he’ll be twice as bad as he usually is to make up for the lost time lmao. but with you he becomes oddly affectionate, not really possessive but not docile either. he’ll stick to you half the time until he gets in a mood and needs to distant himself. at the end of the day he’ll always find himself back in your tent, snuggling up to you as you sleep.

i don’t see javier experiencing much dysphoria at all unless someone deliberately misgenders him. he’s confident with himself and his identity and isn’t bothered by accidental misgendering but if someone is purposely referring to him as ‘miss’ or calling him a lady to mock him or be an asshole then javier’s confidence dwindles just a bit and he can feel dysphoric, mostly just afterwards when the heat dies down. he’s kind of able to save himself by acknowledging how pretty he is regardless if he were a man or woman, especially when both are visibly eager to chat him up at a bar. your gaze is really all he needs, the mix of hunger and love is enough to overpower any dysphoria he feels.

his chest is about the same size as micah’s. sometimes he binds and sometimes he doesn’t. he honestly might forget most of the time because he’s not too bothered with doing it. he doesn’t care who sees his tits, and if he’s feeling particularly confident he’ll dress up real nice and pop open a button or two to even accentuate them, especially if it gets your eyes and hands on him. similar to charles, javier won’t hesitate to throw a punch at anyone who wants to antagonize him for it, and if it’s someone at camp attempting to get him riled up he’s petty enough to find every excuse in the book to show off his breasts in some way. 

on his period he’s not much in the mood to talk, mainly just wanting to get chores done and get the day over with. has cramps that vary in pain but usually he’s able to power through them well enough with some mental strength and tonics. also gets physically brought down by them, so instead of doing heavy lifting chores he’ll just go fishing instead to contribute. his sex drive spikes but for the most part he loses it. unlike some of the others, it takes longer for javier to bounce back after his period’s over, but when he does he really longs for the closeness he missed prior and he will put aside an entire day or two just to spend it with you.

second section all nsfw here of how your first first time together would be like—talking about them and their body, foreplay, ideal positions, their volume, how they take dick, and what happens after

you may or may not have to be the one to initiate it. if you’re dating charles he already trusts you a lot, so having sex for the first time isn’t something he’s particularly that shy about unless you were very flirty and gave him a lot of attention. he’s not typically self-conscious, but he can get bashful if you stare too much, especially at his breasts. not a lot of pleasure derives from them but he doesn’t mind having them played with if it makes you happy. if he’s already sensitive or you’re in the middle of sex, sucking on his nipples can make him moan a bit. if you’re really into his breasts, charles will purposefully incorporate them into sex just for you. he’ll ride you either with his shirt off or undone, if he’s on his back and his hands are free he’ll squeeze and caress them, etc.. for the most part as long as you’re happy then he’s happy too. charles does get a little kick out of you staring at him because he does like feeling wanted. if you’re looking at him like a love-sick fool he’s going to end up being the more dominant one, sitting in your lap to kiss your lips and neck, being sure to leave at least one mark because he’s a bit cheeky like that. he’ll love it if you run your fingers through his hair, not to pull it or yank on it but it does make him shiver a little bit, especially when you graze his spine or the back of his neck. he’d also like it if you left a mark on him too, so it almost feels like you’ve claimed each other in a way. 

compared to some of the other boys, charles takes a bit longer to get ready. he doesn’t get as wet as fast, and if you’re spontaneously having sex (compared to having planned a night together) then he’ll need more foreplay or at least some pomade to use as lubricant. this stays true no matter how long you’ve been together. charles is often a giver, but if you decide that you want him to lay back and just enjoy it then he will be happy to do so as long as you give him a chance to return any favors. he likes being fingered, and fingering him while you eat him out is the quickest way to get him soaking and ready for you. he’ll want to go down on you too, just because he likes (and is good at) doing it. he might accidentally make you cum though so it can be best to do that first. and charles recovers fast, if you make him cum once or twice it doesn’t sway him, he’ll still be able to take you just fine.

he takes it slow and steady. if you’re inexperienced then he’ll ride you and do the work. he tries not to let his desire accidentally soil your first time together, making sure that he rocks his hips at a consistent leisurely pace. if you’re experienced or you just want to be on top of him then charles will let you take the reins, he’s not picky at all how you’re positioned in general. he’ll keep his hands either on your shoulders or settled on your back. with charles there isn’t a lot of switching places mid-sex, however if he’s riding you and he cums first, you can gently flip him onto his back. he’ll buck his hips up into yours until you’re close before sweetly reminding you to pull out because it’s easy to forget when you’re inside him. even though charles isn’t picky about your positions, he does like to be physically close or pressed against you, favoring to feel your skin against his. there’s a lot of touching and squeezing and kissing, mostly from him. he won’t take it to heart if you can’t focus on anything but his pussy to be honest. 

doesn’t matter if you’re at a hotel or at camp, charles is pretty quiet. if you’re in missionary and in control of the pace, he’s a little louder, at least moaning loud enough for only you to hear if you thrust into him just right. when he gets near orgasm is when his volume picks up. he’ll go quiet for a second before letting out a shaky moan as he cums. if you’re loud, he might prefer riding you so that he can easily control your volume and/or shush you with his hand. it won’t embarrass him if someone were to overhear, he mostly favors the quietness for the sake of others especially for people back at camp. charles can also be a little louder depending on how many times he’s already orgasmed. each orgasm takes longer and longer to build up, so with the added overstimulation it can make him moan as long as you’re fast and deep with your thrusts.

charles is great at taking dick, honestly takes it the easiest out of everyone here despite him needing more preparation. doesn’t matter how big or thick you are, you’ll slide in nice and easy. he might need a second to adjust but he’s ready to go the minute you bottom out. charles’ pussy is a bit more creamy than it is actually slick, but he can take you at any speed just fine. his hips are wide and he’ll like it if you grab onto them as you fuck into him. he’s good at keeping his legs wide open and spread too so you won’t have to worry about accidentally cumming inside of him. his pussy is also very good at gripping you so you might need to pull out a little earlier than you’d think. charles needs clitoral stimulation to cum, so it works anyway. pull out and finish him with your tongue and fingers then cum on his stomach. he’s not picky where your cum goes, and if it’s on him then that just means you both can have a dip in the lake later. 

charles doesn’t need a lot of time to recuperate after he cums. he’s immediately relaxed and definitely very pleased. he’s not all that sensitive, so if you haven’t cum yet he’ll gladly let you keep fucking him to reach your peak. he won’t hesitate to help you in other ways, whether it’s jerking you off or using his mouth, he’ll do whatever it takes (within reason) to make you cum because he wants sex to be satisfying for the both of you. you’re both making love, and even though it doesn’t have to be ‘romantic’ he still wants it to be fun and sweet. and if you for whatever reason can’t cum, he doesn’t take any offense at all, and he’ll even really love the challenge. again, charles has a lot of energy. if you want to go for a second round? he’s up for it. maybe even a third, if you can handle him. he’s also totally up for sex while you’re cleaning up and bathing.

sean doesn’t care how long you’ve been together, he wants you to fuck him. if you’re not already dating, it’ll be a breeze for him. however if you’ve been together for a while, surprisingly sean might be just a little bit shy. this would be real for him; you’d be making love, really, not just fucking. you’d have to get him to slow down, stop him from tearing his shirt off and getting your pants undone before you’ve undressed everything else. feel him up over his clothes, he’ll like feeling you press your palms against his nipples. kiss him on his lips, his face, his neck chest hands whatever. his face will light up and get hot, and once you’ve undone the buttons on his shirt to reveal his chest he’ll be squirming telling you to get on with it already. because it’s sean we’re talking about he’ll want to jump the gun, so just take it slow and ignore his squabbling. the slower you take it the better it is for him, he just doesn’t want to admit it, but it is a very satisfying result once you actually jump into things. 

sean’s a greedy boy, he’ll gladly lay back and have you do all the work. he’ll wrap his legs around your head as you eat him out and he’ll beg for you to slip a finger or two (or three) in alongside your tongue. he gets wet very fast over almost everything you do, so you won’t have to worry too much about preparing him. tell him to get on his knees and he’ll do it in a heartbeat; sean gets a little bit in over his head so he’ll suck you off but you’ll have to grab his hands so he doesn’t touch himself. most likely he’ll cum once or twice (probably by accident) before you actually have sex. but just give him a minute and he’ll be ready to go in no time. he’s the opposite of charles, once he gets an orgasm in him the others cum in like clockwork. he likes foreplay but he likes sex better. he does secretly like having you be in control of his orgasms though, and he’ll be a lot wetter (and noisier) if you hold him back from cumming before you’re in him. 

he’s not gonna care what position you put him in. automatically he’s on his back with his legs open, but if you want to flip him onto his side or his back then he’s completely on board with that too. being able to see your face gets him going. if you want him to ride you he might whine a little about it but the minute he’s sitting on your dick he shuts up real fast. he’s sporadic and all over the place, so if you’re into that then you’ll love having him in your lap, though he’ll try to rush things and he’ll 100% forget to get off your lap before you cum but thankfully he’s light and easy to push off lmao. if you take him in missionary you’ll have to be careful because sean’s a leg locker, it’s the only position with him where you’ll actually struggle to pull out. he genuinely does it by accident because his head just gets so hazy and even if he hasn’t cum yet he’s going to be very fucked out. he just wants more and more of you, so naturally he keeps you locked in place. you genuinely might accidentally get him pregnant, so it’d probably be best to have him on his stomach a few minutes before you finish. 

yeahhh, sean’s a little noisy. for some reason he just can’t contain himself. he moans with every thrust and whines with every drag, and even when you’ve stopped he’ll just be talking. the only way to make him be quiet aside from stuffing something in his mouth is to fuck him so fast that his voice gets caught in his throat. when he cums he’ll let out a long and loud moan but at least for the most part he’s quiet. it’s better to rent out a room with sean, at camp he already gets enough flack from everyone. not that sean wouldn’t love to rub it in people’s faces, but for everyone’s sake it’s just a better option. this is also why it’s a good thing to put him on his stomach so that the bedding muffles him. it’s not perfect but at least it’s something. overtime you might be able to train him to be a little less noisy. 

sean’s not the worst at taking dick. he tenses up a little too much sometimes, and with his overzealous personality he often bites off more than he can chew. he’s very tight, but he gets soaked rather quickly. he takes dick the best on his stomach or in your lap. he’s messy, so he’ll just be rutting his hips into yours inconsistently. preferably you’re the one to take control, either bouncing him in your lap or pulling him back to meet your hips. he’s sloppy on his back but if you’re on a comfortable hotel bed he likes it when you press him down flat against it, keeping his arms and legs down or even just one leg thrown around your hips and one pressed down. sean can cum with or without clitoral stimulation but during sex he gets forgetful so you’ll have to be the one to rub his clit. clitoral stimulation does also drain his energy a lot more, so he’ll recuperate less quicker and become much more sensitive. 

afterwards sean is a total wreck. he simultaneously is bouncing off the walls but is also ready to pass out. he likes to act dramatic, like you’ve wrecked him so hard that he couldn’t possibly do any chores for the next week.. (he wants you to offer to do them for him.) he likes being kissed after, it makes him feel all giddy and loved. he’s very ticklish, so honestly tickling him a little after sex really isn’t that bad of a way to get him tired since sean doesn’t know when to stop, he might end up trying to rile you up for another round or two. if you don’t take his bait, he’ll curl up in your arms and he’ll be totally conked out for the rest of the day/night. just be sure not to kiss his neck too much or else he’ll really start bugging you to go again. and he’s a heavy sleeper, so once he’s passed out you can clean him up a little and he’ll be none the wiser.

oh arthur. you’ll need to initiate. (high honor) arthur gets so embarrassed just having you kiss him, wanting to make love to him is a huge step. he’s not against it and he knows you’ll treat him right, but his own insecurities seep through that you’ll have to snuff out. he’ll be the shyest you’ve ever seen him, and depending on how you ease him into it he may or may not keep his shirt on. kiss him all over and give special attention to his neck. he gets red and bruises easily but it riles him up and gets him shivering at every touch. gently touch him over his clothes and slowly trail your hand under his shirt to squeeze his waist. give him lots of verbal praise, arthur will gain his confidence soon. once he does, he’ll guide your hand where he wants you to touch him. if he takes his shirt off, kiss his chest. his nipples are sensitive, so sucking on them gently will get him wet embarrassingly fast. he has performance anxiety, so you’ll have to take a domineering role until his worries settle (they never truly go away but they can be pushed aside). he is very sensitive altogether, emotionally and physically. his heart is constantly racing, both out of good and bad anxiety. once you get into a rhythm, he’s less scared, and if you can get his brain to turn off then he’ll be laying back and soaking in all the love and attention you give him. 

arthur’s not too sure what to do with himself, so you’ll need to take the reins. trail kisses from his lips to his stomach, and then to his heat. before taking off his jeans, grind yourself against him. he’ll look up at you with a sickeningly sweet expression until you slowly undress him. then you can drag your thumb across his folds before circling his clit. he’ll buck up, but he’ll let you carefully hold him down. kiss him, and when he feels wet enough, slide a finger into his heat. arthur will be blushing like crazy, probably even call you dirty for doing this, but make sure that you tell him how handsome he is so that he doesn’t get too in his head. he’ll enjoy any way you touch him, but most of all arthur loves to hear you tell him how handsome and strong he looks. whisper in his ear how well he takes your fingers and he’ll twitch and groan. his cunt tightens around you like a vice, mention it and he might just cum on the spot. foreplay will be a big part of sex for him. feeling how hard you are through your jeans just from kissing and licking him surprisingly gets him going. if you go too slow he might make a joke to hurry you up, but really his heart is swelling at your care and attention.

for your first time together arthur’s gonna be somewhat self-conscious, naturally. he’ll want to be on his back where he can move around as he pleases but still have you doing the work. in the future this changes but for now he wants you to be in control. arthur’s good at staying still, very obedient. you most likely won’t be switching places, unless arthur cums first. if arthur cums before you do he gains a newfound confidence and insists on riding you to bring you to orgasm. this is how arthur’s anxiety quells, when he knows that what he’ll do will be good and pleasurable. when his touch makes your cock twitch inside him and every kiss makes your hips jolt into his he soon starts to understand the power he has. it’s a bit dangerous honestly, but arthur uses it well. arthur wants you two to be physically close, mostly so that he can hide his face in your neck when he gets too shy, but also being held pressed against you because you crave to feel and have more of him is a reminder that he’s loved and that you truly do want him.

arthur tries very hard to be quiet, mostly just letting out low groans or shaky breaths and huffs. He sometimes puts his hand over his mouth to muffle himself if he’s moaning however if you’re not at camp he’ll reluctantly keep his hands over his head to let you hear him if you ask. he’ll be red in the face the entire time but at least you can hear the little moans he lets out when your cock drags along his walls. though arthur isn’t that loud, he does get very wet and slick; unless you’re having slow drawn out sex, things can get noisy very quickly. hearing his own pussy can make him shy, however it does bring him to orgasm faster. he finds it embarrassing, but if you love it he just gets so red and he can’t help but tighten around you if you tell him just how much you love it. if you’re vocal, whispering in his ear or groaning at how he feels it has him reeling. he wants to shush you, but he can’t help that it really does him going. arthur also can have kind of a dirty mouth by complete accident. like he’ll be so into it he might let it slip that he’s been thinking about this for ages and his face just gets so hot that you can literally feel it when he hides it in your shoulder. 

arthur struggles at first taking your dick. he tenses up so you’ll have to soothe him, caressing his thighs and hips. he’s tight, but once you’ve bottomed out his pussy has your dick in a chokehold. he loves resting his heels on the small of your back and pulling you into him. he wraps his arms around your shoulders so you can tease him by all of a sudden stopping and he’ll desperately keep fucking up into you to keep taking your dick. after some time of course he stops tensing up, and in no time sex is smooth sailing. he’s the second best at taking dick overall. and he does know how to ride, his hips aren’t just for show. it’s shocking how worried he was about his performance when he literally can make you lightheaded just from the way he bucks his hips. like before, he doesn’t realize the kind of ability he holds until later. but once he gets the hang of it you’re really going to be in trouble.

arthur is most likely going to be pretty tuckered out. all the anxiety building up and then being overwhelmed by so much love and pleasure, it tires him out real fast so there won’t be a spontaneous second round after your first time with arthur. he might be a little blissed out so you’ll have to help clean him up or wrap a blanket around him. he’ll let out a big sigh before rolling over and letting you wrap your arms around him. hold him close because truthfully he’ll be a little scared of you leaving. kiss him and don’t forget to tell him how good he did, arthur loves it. he’ll try to shoo you away if you get too lovey-dovey but he loves and appreciates it so much. internally he doesn’t always believe the praise you throw at him, but still his heart picks up speed and he may even cry a little bit, just don’t mention it. 

(low honor) arthur’s all confidence. if he doesn’t get to bed you within the first week of meeting you then success! you’ve tamed him, somewhat. he’s very seductive and knows exactly what to do with his body and how to twist his words. he’ll try to tease you by stripping slowly and grinding into you until you get impatient. you might have to wrangle him a bit just to get him to stop teasing but it’s entirely in his nature. he brings your hands to touch him, making you grab his tits or connecting your hips together. when he kisses you he’ll bite your lip before having you say out loud that you want to fuck him. he likes getting you frazzled, so if you’re unlucky he might end up pulling himself away entirely to get you riled up until you chase after him. he also will definitely mark you up, making sure at least one is visible for everyone to see. he’ll keep his favorite ones in places where only he can see and access them.

foreplay with lh arthur is slow. either he’s teasing your dick, dragging his tongue up and down it and suckling on the tip or you’re eating him out as he tells you how to touch yourself through your clothes. he’ll make you edge yourself as you finish him off with your tongue, promising that he’ll make it up to you. lh arthur likes spreading himself open with his fingers, inserting three right away, not to stretch himself out but just to show you how much he can take. he won’t want to get prepped too much because he likes the burn of your cock splitting him open. however he’ll shove your dick down his throat and make you cum once or twice in record time so once you fuck him it’s almost painful. if you’re really too sensitive, surprisingly he will give you a break and not overstimulate you, even though he really wants to. instead he’ll let you overstimulate him, although with lh arthur it’s not exactly painful. 

he’ll let you have some control before taking over. he likes riding you, first letting you lay him down and slowly fuck him until he sits up and starts kissing you. the way he kisses makes you feel hypnotized, and once you stop fucking him out of forgetfulness is when he’ll push you onto your back and ride you. he also likes sitting on something, a crate or bedside cabinet maybe so that he can pull you close into him with his legs and keep you trapped there. he’ll just tease you if you start worrying about pulling out. he’s also a leg locker, except he does it on purpose, so he wants a position where he can keep you in place easily. if you can’t afford the risk then he’ll let you pull out as long as you promise someday you’ll cum in him like he really wants. 

naturally he’s not actually that loud except for groans and huffs and dirty talking, but he sometimes likes to raise his volume deliberately so that someone overhears. lh arthur isn’t shy, he’ll take any excuse to kill two birds with one stone by teasing you and also letting people know he’s getting fucked by you. if you try to shush him he’ll laugh saying it’s your fault for fucking him so well but you both know he’s full of shit. if you’re in a hotel he doesn’t feel the need to raise his volume unless the law was near, the risk of getting caught turns him on like crazy. the best option would be to have sex camping out in the woods where he doesn’t feel the need to show you off and he can (reluctantly) be kind of normal for once, although he’ll still give you condescending praise just to get you riled. also know that if you can really fuck him just right he’ll let out a completely real and sweet moan that is reserved only for you. he tries to ignore how it makes you twitch inside of him even more so than when he plays it up.

he takes dick like an absolute champ. truthfully, out of everyone lh arthur is the most experienced due to his fearlessness and thrill-seeking personality. i can see him honest to god pretending that he’s a virgin at first just to see the look on your face when you momentarily believe him. again, lh arthur isn’t shy. he’s not as tight or wet, but he knows how to grip his cunt around you and how to work his hips. he’ll make you lightheaded the second you’re bottomed out. he loves making you feel so good that you’d want to stay inside him forever even when it hurts. he’ll want you to cum in him because he loves being filled with your spend and telling people about it. and he’s got a lot of energy, he doesn’t get as sensitive; you’ll end up clocking out waaay before he’s even close to being tired. he’ll feign desperation, pleading you to give him just one more. he won’t push you if you say no, but if you fall for it and humor him it most likely won’t just be “one more”. he has a high sex drive, and his loyalty to you also means you’re the one who has to help satiate him.

afterwards, depending on the events prior he either will be tired enough to sleep/give himself a break or he won’t be anywhere near done. you’ll have to have a lot of stamina to keep up with lh arthur, and even more mental strength just to handle what he dishes out. he’s a little restless, so if you’re tuckered out and ready to hit the hay he might end up leaving you for the time being to go hunting or robbing folk. if you can really manage to strike his heart, he’ll lay down with you and at least stay with you until you fall asleep. he’ll have a hand on you the whole time, and his staring may come off as a bit weird at first but internally he’s going through a lot of different thoughts and feelings. you may or may not hear him whispering into your skin as you drift off to sleep. you’d have to be real special to tame this arthur morgan. 

kieran’s going to want it sweet and romantic. having sex with him will always be intimate and full of love, especially for your first time. he’s completely head over heels and at your mercy. take it slow, but not too slow or else he gets squirmy and (at least at first) he’ll be a little too shy to tell you to pick up the speed. kieran likes having your hands on him, rubbing circles into his hips, holding his hands or squeezing his breasts. he wants to hide away and be shy, but at the same time he wants to be brave and give you himself completely, so undress him with care. he’ll get embarrassed about it but praising him and telling him how pretty he looks makes him preen in delight. he’s very sensitive, shivering when your breath lightly grazes his skin. blow on his nipples and they’ll perk up real quick. he likes having his chest squeezed and fondled, even if he can’t bear to look at you when you do it. his face gets red and warm, and even with everything his favorite thing is feeling you kiss him. 

foreplay is huge for kieran, especially for your first time making love. start with kissing him and holding him in your arms until he feels comfortable enough to move things forward himself. kiss his neck and ask him how he’s feeling, and if he’s feeling confident then take off your shirt and help take off his. kieran loves feeling your skin against his and it makes his heart flutter when you pull him flush against you. when you get into it he’ll like sitting down with his back against your chest as you pull his slacks off before having him spread his legs. he’ll squirm as you gently open him up with your fingers. they’ll glide between his folds with ease due to how wet he is. his legs will try to close automatically, but with the combination of kisses being placed on his neck and your fingers stretching him he gets so flustered he can’t think straight enough to be self-conscious anymore. he also likes dry-humping as foreplay, it makes him feel less insecure and it feels good to have your hardened dick against his heat. it gets him desperate, so you may actually hear him beg for you in your ear. 

kieran likes having his hands above his head, even though it makes him feel extremely vulnerable. he trusts you, though, and truthfully he enjoys how exposed he is. when he sees you gazing down at him with so much love and affection it makes him want to cry, which he does. hold his hands in yours as you fuck him, keeping him close. he’ll wrap his legs and arms around you in seek of warmth and comfort. he wants to be in a position where you can easily kiss his lips. kieran wants to feel loved and needs to be reassured. kiss his tears away and remind him of how much he means to you. then fuck him till he can barely move so you can pamper him and give him even more attention. and before he cums, lift one of his legs up and he’ll tighten around you so hard it’ll make you dizzy. he also loves feeling your hands gripping his waist or pressed against his stomach as you take him. 

kieran’s somewhat loud, somewhat quiet. he doesn’t realize he’s loud but he is. he’s more talkative, rambling about how good you feel. he’s actually got a pretty dirty mouth, but only far during sex when he can’t completely think straight because afterwards he’s totally embarrassed about it. if he’s not talking then he’s whining and moaning with your name slipping out occasionally. kieran feels comfortable with you, but having sex in a room rented out or somewhere far from camp will calm him much easier. it also means he can be as loud as he wants and doesn’t have to hold back without someone getting on his case about it. kieran would really enjoy a partner who’s talkative, someone who can whisper in his ear and talk dirty to him. it gets him soaking, which also makes actually fucking him loud too. he’ll get embarrassed hearing his own pussy squelching around your cock but it still drives him crazy. keep his legs down spread open and it makes him moan up a storm.

kieran takes dick well. at first he can be a little tense, but it’s mostly just nerves. he wants to perform well for you and wants to make you feel just as good as you make him feel. once the nerves have dissipated and he’s completely calm and in the moment his cunt suddenly grips you with fervor. he’s both tight and also not at the same time, but your dick glides into him so smoothly. his pussy practically sucks you in and his legs locking around your waist makes it difficult to resist fucking him deep. kieran’s another one you have to be careful with, once he’s in the headspace he can’t think straight for himself. he’ll want you to cum in him, and if you’re not quick enough to react to him keeping you in place deep inside him then you’re gonna have a pregnant kieran on your hands very quickly. 

afterwards kieran may or may not be knocked out. he’s a sweet crybaby, so after he might tear up again. he loves you so much, and he’ll tell you that a million times until he’s too sleepy to get any words out. kieran will get sad if you get up and leave to wash up, grabbing onto your wrist or an article of clothing you’re wearing so that you’ll stay with him and hold him. he wants to be wrapped up in your arms, feeling your skin against his. if you’ve got blankets, he wants to be boxed in your warmth. right after sex kieran doesn’t care about the mess, he just wants to snuggle up with you and sleep. he’ll be too overwhelmed for another round, but the next morning he’s going to want a bath and he’ll be happy to let you help bathe him. after too, it’ll be all he thinks about for days, so most likely the next time you have sex it’ll be him shyly requesting it.

micah’s another one who bites off more than he can chew. he’ll act all confident saying he’s not scared of nothin’ until the situation actually dawns on him and all of a sudden he’s trying to hide his face behind his hair or hat. he’s self-conscious and even when you’ve been together for a while he’ll keep his shirt on. your first time together is most likely not full sex, but instead just getting him off to help him adjust to an intimate setting. when you do have penetrative sex he’s shaking. you need to be slow with micah because this isn’t something he’s used to, but once you’re further into it and you’ve convinced him to just lay down and turn off his brain then he’s better about it and manages to relax and just take the pleasure you’re giving him. may or may not even cry too, but because he’s never felt truly loved before not because he’s in pain. he’s scared sex will make him feel like a woman, but with enough confirmation from you he loosens up and for the most part the fear and thoughts subside. of course in the future he’s less anxious, but for a new setting it’s absolutely terrifying to him. he won’t be very vocal, so you’ll kind of have to observe him and figure out what he’s okay with, where squeezing him is uncomfortable and where it feels good. he flushes at kisses really easily, and giving lots of those will make him huffy. he wants to push you away so badly but inevitably he loves it. 

he’ll want to skip the foreplay first, half out of embarrassment and half out of thinking foreplay isn’t ‘manly’ enough to him. however once you convince him to let you do your thing and you’ve got your mouth on him he’s like putty. being eaten out is a luxury he surprisingly loves to indulge in. sucking on his clit has him almost wailing, he might actually need to put a pillow over his face to muffle and ground himself. once you have your fingers in him he’ll be convulsing around them and he won’t even notice that he’s grinding back onto them. he can get fussy, telling you to hurry up and ‘get it over with’ but his mouth will shut the second you spread his legs any wider. micah likes getting his pussy slapped, and even if you feel it’s a little too rough for a first time, he’ll genuinely fold beneath you at the feeling of your hand or cock slapping against his clit. he may or may not suck your dick if he’s feeling confident enough to, most likely he’ll give you a hand job if you feel it’ll settle his nerves. he’s intimidated of course but with time he gets his own rhythm going and ends up being pretty amazing at it. 

at first he’ll probably want to be on his stomach where he can’t see your face and vice versa. but if he was the one to initiate, he’ll try to ride you as a spur of the moment thing until he’s actually hovering over your dick and realizes he doesn’t know what to do and he turns bashful. his face gets red very easily so he’d instinctively want to hide it. he’ll groan everytime you pull him into a kiss, and his eyes get a little glossy when he hears you whisper into his neck as you nip and suck on it. micah shivers every time your hands move his hair out of the way, and feeling you grip it when you fuck him from the back makes his heart swell and his cunt throb. being on his stomach also means he can muffle his moans, but if anyone overhears him anyway at least he can say he’s having better sex then they are. if you take him on his back, expect him to keep his head down the whole time. he won’t say it but he’ll love it if you move down closer to him where he can put his face in your shoulder and also wrap himself around you. his head will end up falling back when he’s close but at that point he can’t think straight enough to care. 

micah isn’t that loud no matter where you’re having sex. he’ll huff and puff a lot and he’ll sound like he’s out of breath almost every second you’re fucking. he does moan, but he tries to hide it. usually it’s when his clit is being stimulated, he’ll start with a groan but when you’re thrusting into him and circling his clit at the same time his back will arch and moans will eventually spill out of him. he’s the loudest when he’s cumming when your cock is as deep in him as it can get and you’re palming at his clit in sync with your thrusts he’ll moan as he gushes onto your cock before going limp and only letting out heavy breaths and incoherent mumbling. it is possible to get him real loud if you’re continuously fucking him and hitting a specific spot without stopping then if he doesn’t choke on his breath you can manage to rack out some real moans from him. over time as your relationship progresses and he gets more confident/comfortable something in his brain will switch off and you’ll find that he starts letting out soft moans just from kissing his neck or squeezing his hips. he doesn’t talk much during sex, at least not for your first time. he may say something to provoke you into fucking him rougher but besides that he doesn’t trust himself to speak without stuttering or moaning. he’d secretly love a loud partner though, either someone who groans in his ear because he’s making you feel that good, or someone who talks a lot since he gets off on dirty talk. 

micah is of course another boy who gets real tense the first time he takes your dick. it frustrates him because he wants to appear fearless, but in reality it’s a new intrusion for his body and he fears the vulnerability that comes with it. it helps to soothe him not with words but with actions, thumbing circles into his hips and thighs or kissing him all over his face and neck and chest; really anything to distract him from the imposing length sliding into him between his legs. he’ll be gripping your arm or back, literally digging his nails into your skin as he adjusts to your size, but once you’ve bottomed out he goes still for a second as his brain attempts to catch up with everything. he’ll be tight around your cock until you start fucking him open, and then he’ll be an almost perfect fit, only tightening around you when you try to pull out to slam back into him. slow your thrusts down and micah will fuck himself back onto your cock. once he has you there’s no going back, he’ll reach back and grab your legs if you try stopping. micah’s another one who wants your cum in him but he won’t be bothered by you pulling out so long as you cum on his ass or back. he’s also like hh arthur where he overtime starts to understand the power he holds with just his pussy, and if you thought micah was bad already then you don’t even know the half of it.

after he’ll be really overwhelmed, though he won’t admit it. if you ask how he’s feeling he’ll say something kind of like “could be worse” or “just fine” but in reality he’s blissed the hell out. his heart is racing but if you point it out he’ll blame it on the adrenaline and blind lust. micah’s kind of like a once abandoned and malnourished kitten that’s being fed and given a new home. he’s stubborn but helplessly putting himself in your hands. he can’t completely believe that you love him, at least not entirely but nonetheless he can’t deny (even though he wants to) that it feels good to be held in your arms so he’ll ‘let’ you gently push his head down to rest on your chest. he’ll shoo your hand away if you try to clean him up. micah also won’t be up for a second round, he’ll be too sensitive. he takes a while to recuperate after an orgasm, both physically and mentally (even after just a single round his pussy gets all puffy and tender) but there is a chance that the next morning (if he hasn’t run off somewhere for a job) he’ll want to go again, however you’ll have to actually figure that out yourself because no way in hell is he going to actually tell you with his words. 

with javier your first time together will more likely than not be in a hotel room that he rented out after a well-paying job. javier knows he’s pretty, he’ll make sure he’s sitting up straight so that you get a good view of his body as it’s complemented by glossy damask and dim lighting. his hair will be down, freshly washed and brushed. he smells of stolen cologne, and when you put his hand to your lips to kiss it you can smell a small spritz of perfume. he’s a swift romantic, holding onto either side of your face as you kiss, beckoning you to run your hands through his hair and down his body. he’ll scold you with a smile if he feels you getting too handsy, but it’s just an excuse so that he can press your hands down against the silk sheets and let him have his way. javier will rock into your clothed hips and then act like you’ve done something perverse when he feels you hardening against him. he’ll undress after making sure you’re staying still, slowly undoing each button with grace until his shirt falls from his shoulders and is pushed onto the floor. javier will love it if you’re impatient because then he can watch you writhe beneath him as he just barely gives you enough touch to keep you painfully hard. he’ll also give you a mark or two on your neck, half because he loves giving you any kind of touch and half because he wants people to know that you’re together (as if they don’t already know). 

he’ll make you cum first, to your surprise. he jerks you off, slowly, to make you think he’s just trying to get you hard. but your mistake will be telling him you’re close, because he’ll just jerk you off faster until you cum on his hand. why does he do this? just to torture you, most likely. maybe he ‘cleans’ your dick, taking you completely down his throat until you cum again, and then he’ll get on his back and spread his legs to circle and slap his clit, taunting you in a mixture of spanish and english. he wants you desperate, he wants to see the look on your face when your cock enters him and how even when you’re so sensitive that it hurts you’ll still fuck him. he’ll push you away if you try putting your mouth on him, teasing you about ‘being in a rush’. he’ll arch his back and spread his folds to show off his glistening cunt. javier is patient, and even more sadistic. he wants you pleading and throbbing for him.

javier isn’t picky about positions, but he’ll definitely want to see your face for your first time together. he’ll ride you and it’ll be both the best and worst experience of your life. he’s good with his hips, but he’s a little bit too good. he knows how to make you feel good and he knows far too well how to get you to the brink of insanity. he goes slow first to figure out his rhythm and he’ll mentally note every reaction you make to what he does just so he can use it against you. he’ll bounce in your lap before slowing to a grind, being sure to take you as deep as he can. he wants to know what makes you twitch and groan and throb and what words make your hips jump into his, and the best way to do that is when he has full control, if you let him have it. take him onto his back and he’ll still do the same except now he has to take everything you dish out, which he can and will. javier will suddenly lift himself off your dick just to watch how your body seeks him out, because no matter what with a pussy like his he will always be the one in control. 

javier can be as loud as he can be quiet. he’s another talkative one where he’ll mostly be trying to get you worked up with condescending praise or whatever he figures out gets you hot and bothered when he whispers it in your ear. he’s at his loudest if you turn the tables on him and get him on his back, preferably after he’s already cum once, then he’ll be extra sensitive but with how much more you’ll need to fuck him to get him close again he won’t be able to hold back. he might exaggerate his moans just a little bit as a way to tease you, especially if he knows there may be someone who will hear it but overall your first time together he isn’t going to be as loud as you may expect however a second round can reveal a different side of javier. if you manage to dominate him then he really has no other choice but to moan about it. give him slow or quick deep thrusts as you circle his clit and he’ll have to bite his lip to quiet him. 

of course he takes dick amazingly well. he doesn’t get wet as quick as some of the others mentioned in this list but that doesn’t matter when the foreplay goes on for so long. his pussy isn’t that slick but it is tight. he knows when to grip around you so that you’re reeling at every roll of his hips, which is why he prefers to ride you because he loves to drive you crazy. and since javier’s a very patient man, he’s not afraid to literally hop off your dick if you’re getting too close to orgasm for his taste. he knows he’s a good fuck and he wants to prolong it as long as he can without driving himself crazy since he does need clitoral stimulation to cum. javier’s a master at controlling your orgasm as well as his own and he’s fully prepared to keep you on the edge until you can’t take it anymore and have to flip him over so you can pound him, which he’ll appreciate the excuse to get back at you tenfold. it’s a dangerous game with javier, and if you manage to find the time to spend nights and days with him it can get a little addicting. 

afterwards you’ll share a bath, where you will both wash up and also have, more likely than not, another round unless you’re really tuckered out. he likes feeling your skin against his when he helps wash you and when you wash him. move his hair out of the way to kiss his shoulder or neck and he’ll let out a pleased hum before resting back in your arms for a while. maybe even suck a spot into his skin so you can match, the thought of others seeing the evidence of your long night together will do things to him. he’ll be less talkative but still making conversation just to fill the silence, mostly teasing you about your earlier actions. when in bed it takes a while for javier to fall asleep. sex energizes him more than it makes him tired unless it was particularly arduous, but he’ll drift off with you easily if you rub circles into his skin and softly kiss him or talk to him in a hushed voice. if you end up being in the mood, he’ll definitely want to have another go in the morning as long as there’s time for him to get another bath afterwards. 

might make a second part for this to talk about more general things. this is my first time writing for sean javier and micah so i hope it's not terrible lmao. was thinking about writing for john but i might have to have some practice. if i add him here ill make a post but i wanted to get this out because i've had this in the works for so long.

[genderqueerdykes]

the post you just shared about being both a trans man and a dyke reminded me of something that ive been wanting to talk about for a while now but haven't been able to so far.

im brazilian. the country with one of the biggest pride parades in the world while also being in the highest rates of violence towards lgbt people. queer culture here is weird, and maybe i missed out on it because i was able to find refuge online among the english speaking community relatively early.

ive been observing something that i wrongly assumed was our own version of the butch/femme community, and for a second i got really excited bc we all know butch loneliness, but the more i started looking into it, the more of its completely rotten entrails they showed me.

it's a disfigurement of the ideas that i have held to my heart so dearly ever since i read stone butch blues for the first time, and even more as i discovered leslie feinberg, and found out that there really were others like me. they use the term "desfem" (as in "defeminized"), and the definition explicitly states that the individual must be a cis woman, quoting some terf-tier bullshit that would make joanne proud.

hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles. they want the aesthetics of butchness without the hardships of living as one. the trans community carries these people on their backs and still they're more worried about how some dykes are trans too.

i don't know where im going with this, i just need to get it off my chest to someone who would at least have an idea of what im talking about. it's so disheartening to see the community head towards this direction, and i grow less and less interested in forming bridges with cis people as time goes on lol

i wanted to thank you for taking the time to send it, i really appreciate these thoughts! i get contacted by a lot of brazilian people. i think that's super cool! i've heard that despite how large your queer scene is that it's still very queerphobic and that's unfortunate, but it does happen.

"hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles."

i really appreciate the way you said this! i've been trying to point this out for a while now and i'm glad you've come to this realization, yourself.

for whatever reason, cis lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces are obsessed with the butch-femme binary. it's romanced to hell and back but it's very restrictive and patriarchal. implying that romantic relationships must fall into a masculine partner + feminine partner structure is cisheteromative. there's not much representation for butch4butch, butch4all, femme4femme and femme4all people. the idea that the masculine partner must be strong and protect the weak feminine partner that can't defend themselves is a patriarchal dynamic.

all of the lesbian yearning posts are about how butches are tops and doms and how all femmes are bottoms and subs. butch becomes synonymous with penis and femme becomes synonymous with vagina. calling butches 'chivalrous knights' dehumanizes them and reduces them to being protector figures. the way cis femmes online go on and on and on about how they "need" a butch is very alarming. femmes are being framed as dependent and as though they can't function unless they have a butch in their life, which is very misogynistic.

it's just a repeat of cishet- the patriarchal relationship formatting applies here, even if the genders are slightly tweaked. it's in the coding. it's literally a copy and paste job. it's lazy and toxic as hell and it leaves out all of the diversity that comes with lesbianism and how butches and femmes can experience life and love and sexuality in a variety of ways.

the thing is, as a genderqueer person, i've never understood why people are so attached to this binary. it's so restrictive. i'm butch, but not in the way that white cis lesbians define it. the way they tlel you how to be butch is so restrictive it's not even funny. it's like you gotta pass a test. you gotta be stereotypically masculine 100% of the time or else you're not a real butch. you're expected to emulate a cishet guy, but if you identify as a guy, all hell breaks loose. if you think about it people basically force butches to identify as men and then hold it at arm's reach away. like you have to act exactly like a man but be a Woman. and it makes no fucking sense.

lesbians are some of the most gender diverse people out there. it's crazy to me that people are trying to force lesbians, people who are known for being gender weird, into a male-female cishet binary but with a lesbian Womyn coat of paint. i wish you better luck in finding community that wants to stick together instead of fight over petty bullshit that doesn't matter. take care of yourself. feel free to stop by again any time

[thebiggerbear]

@winchestergirl2 awww thank you so much for checking this out, hun!!! You know I always love reading your thoughts. 😊

I LOVED it!! I could picture it all so clearly, and it felt like I was watching the episode.I really like the way she interacts with both of the Shaw brothers. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole food truck scene... I could hear the bickering between her and Colter, and how she pinched his coffee, and his fries just to annoy him made me smile. His responses were exactly as I imagine they would be.

This is exactly what I always strive for when writing so I am so happy that you think it achieved that effect while reading!!!

Not a lot gets past him, does it, I do think it's sweet of him not to push that issue despite his obvious curiosity.

I have to admit that my favorite iteration of Russell so far is from the 1x12 episode. I feel like there's so much to build with him from that whole intro setup they did and we got to see glimpses of Soldier!Russell, too, and what truly matters to him. Not as some cartoon caricature if that makes sense (I wasn't a fan of his season 2 episode but I blame that on the change in showrunners...here we go again, sigh). So I really wanted to dip into that so I'm really glad you clocked that. Russell definitely doesn't miss much. 😉

That phone call... 🔥🔥🥵🥵 and I also loved the fact he sent her that text once Colter had gotten back in the car... a man that can do both spicy and sweet!

Oh absolutely he does. 😉 And I'm glad you enjoyed the phone call. That was fun to write!!!

What a nice surprise to find Russell at your door!

That scene and the food truck scene were definitely my favorites to write!!! I wanted to go further at the end there but it felt as if I was getting away from what I was trying to accomplish (he he) so I cut it. More spiciness will be in the sequel, Within Limits, I promise.

Thank you so much for checking this out, my friend!!! I always look forward to your reviews and I love to hear your thoughts so thank you!!! 😊💖💖

Off Limits

Summary: When Reenie sends you to assist Colter with whatever he needs after getting arrested for breaking into a morgue in Virginia, you meet his older brother Russell for the first time. There's some flirting and definitely a mutual attraction there before you Colter sends you off. Little do you know at the time that Colter has warned Russell that you're off limits and that Russell has no intention of listening to said warning.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader; Russell Shaw x Female!PI!Reader

A/N: So I've had this idea in my head since I first saw the episode (and that whole food truck scene) and finally sat down to start writing it May 19th, the day we were all hoping Russell would return for 1x13 (no spoilers). I did change up the ending of 1x12 a little here. By the way, I love Colter and I'm only a few episodes into the season but he kind of gives a little fuckboi vibe to me (meant affectionately of course) so I decided to kind of play on that a little here. Not that Russell also doesn't seem to have that vibe here a little bit. (again, meant as affectionate) 😉 I may write a follow up to this to fill in/shade in more areas mentioned in here.

Anyways, this was a lot of fun to write and try to practice ratcheting up the UST a little between two characters. I'm not sure if I succeeded but it was still fun to try. 🥵

All unbeta'd.

Song while writing: Coming For You - Nuela Charles (you can probably guess what scene I was envisioning/writing with this one 🤷‍♀️)

Warnings: sexual tension; flirting; a little smut; language

Word Count: 9357

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

You can also read on AO3

You pulled up to the area where two food trucks sat and tables were scattered throughout the center of it all. You quickly recognized Colter sitting there, eating, talking to someone sitting across from him. You softly groaned at the incessant pounding in your head, tenderly rubbing your forehead. Why had Reenie charged you with this? True, you owed her a favor (or four) but still, getting on a plane with only thirty minutes notice, no time to pack an overnight bag, and her insistence that you go and assist Colter with whatever he needed was a bit much. Even for her. 

But here you were, dressed in yesterday’s clothes, your hair up in a messy ponytail after you quickly combed your fingers through it, and feeling scuzzy after a long night spent on planes. That’s right. Planes as in plural. Reenie hadn’t even sprung for a non-connecting flight, though she’d tried to chalk it up to none of those being available when she’d booked the trip for you ASAFP. You’d been stuck in coach the entire time, which was fine (you were more than used to it) but you’d had the middle seat and then the aisle seat — both seating arrangements were pure hell. Needless to say, you may have indulged at the airport bar in between flights and ordered drinks while on both, putting it on your business card that you immediately wrote off as travel expenses in your head. Especially when one of the guys you were sitting next to (who thought he was the next young Robert DeNiro apparently) was intent on making conversation, filling you in on his romantic and sexual history (relayed through a ton of bad implied jokes of course), as if he thought that would be a selling point for you to immediately want to induct him into the mile high club (there was no way he was a member despite his many stories hinting to the contrary). No thank you. Not ever.

Thankfully, you were able to pick up some essentials when you finally arrived at your destination and used the airport bathrooms for a little clean up before grabbing a rental car. You still felt gross and in need of a shower, but you’d manage until you did what you came here to do and then your time would be your own again. You were sure you’d get a shower and a change of clothes somewhere in between there. 

So while the alcohol helped to ease the tension your sudden trip created, you were badly hungover. Yep, sadly you were at that age where if you even looked at a drink, you’d get a headache the next day. So while you had maintained a nice buzz, you were now paying for it. You took a deep breath, slipped on your sunglasses, and got out of the car. 

Colter saw you coming, surprise fleeting across his expression, before turning his full attention on you when you sat down next to him. “Oof. Rough night?”

Your answer was to flip him the bird which made him chuckle. You then yanked out the folder of files Reenie had thrown into a travel case for you and slapped it all down next to him. “There. Directly from Reenie. With my compliments. Not that I don’t have my own cases to work,” you finished in a mumble. You snatched his coffee, ignoring his frown, and took a deep gulp. You made an immediate face. “Ugh. How do you still drink this shit?”

“It’s coffee,” he informed you as he began peeking at the files.

“I know. How do you not put anything in it? Do you like the taste of bitter ass first thing in the morning? Wait, don’t answer that.” You slipped out an airplane shot you had snuck into your jacket pocket that you swiped from the drink cart as it passed by during your aisle seat fun, beyond desperate to ignore the chatty Cathy next to you (her name had literally been Cathy as you’d found out against your will). You immediately lifted the lid and dumped in the contents, picking up a fry from Colter’s plate and using that to stir things around quickly before tossing it in the grass behind you. You ignored the “hey!” sounding not too far from where the fry had most likely landed and took a generous sip of the warm liquid, nearly heaving a sigh of satisfaction as it settled into your stomach. Not exactly the hair of the dog but it would do for now.

Colter was shaking his head, watching you, and you immaturely stuck your tongue out at him, about to tell him to blow you when you heard a chuckle across the table. You turned to see the guy Colter had been talking to grinning over at you, amusement clear as day on his face. You lowered your glasses slightly and took in his features, noting his obvious attractiveness, and you would be loathe to admit that you wouldn’t mind meeting him in an airplane bathroom had he been the one sitting next to you on that ghastly flight. Almost as if he knew what you were thinking, his smile grew and those green eyes lit up in a way that was all too familiar to you, and also had you wondering if there were any public bathrooms around here that you could slip away to for a bit. After the long night you’d had, an orgasm or two might just be what the doctor ordered. 

You pushed your glasses back into position and gave him a smile right back. “And who’s this?”

Before Colter could answer, the man stuck out a hand towards you. “Russell Shaw, Colter’s older brother.”

Your smile dropped as your hopes were immediately dashed. Fuck. Not only was he hot in a very rugged type of way (right up your alley actually not that you’d ever admit that out loud) but he seemed like he would’ve been game for what you were up for, too. Dammit. You forced yourself to shake his hand and not be rude, all the while trying your best not to think about what those hands could do or how that rough, warm skin would feel like against yours. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

The light in his eyes burned brighter. “Y/N. That is a beautiful name.” 

You couldn’t contain the eye roll at the obviously bad pickup line. Perhaps it was best that he was Colter’s brother. Not that you would’ve been doing much talking if he wasn’t, so his flirting skills wouldn’t have mattered. “So I’ve heard.” You cut that off at the knees. “Russell Shaw,” you drew out his name, remembering something Reenie had mentioned before you went through airport security. You yanked out another folder from your case, slapping it down in front of him. “Reenie insisted that I give you this and told me to tell you that you owe her quite a bit for taking care of those fines from Fish & Wildlife and something about a donkey in Tuscaloosa?” You glanced up at him in question. 

He chuckled, sounding nervous, and gave you a reassuring smile. “That’s not— The donkey thing was a misunderstanding.”

Right. “Oh, I’m sure.”

“No, really. We ran into a situation and we tried to free him when these cops saw us and—”

You held up a hand. “I really don’t need the details. It’s fine. But Reenie did say you should Venmo her.”

He pressed his lips together and dropped his gaze to the papers, nodding. “Sure. I’ll get right on that.” You studied him as he studied the paperwork and despite the suspicious donkey thing and your decision to already back off, you kind of wished he would get right on you. 

You heard a throat clearing next to you and turned to find Colter glancing between you, that frown on his face again. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes once more. Whatever, Colter had no business looking like that. He’d had his chance and he’d fucked it up, royally. Instead of giving that pretend jealousy shit the time of day, you snatched a few more fries off of his plate and glanced back and forth between the two men as you chewed. “You two look nothing alike, by the way.”

“He should be so lucky,” Russell teased his brother before turning that smile back on you. You almost wished you hadn’t indulged in an all night booze fest and had a fresh change of clothes. You must look like a wreck right now, more than what you’d seen in the rearview mirror earlier, and you probably smelled like one, too. Desperately trying to tamp down the images popping into your brain of this man underneath you and those hands of his gripping onto your hips, you stole more fries from the plate near you.

“Seriously, Y/N, why don’t you just go get your own food? The trucks are right there.” Colter hated it when you did this which is exactly why you did it. 

You arched a brow over at him as you chewed. “You buying?” When he didn’t answer fast enough, you snatched even more fries from him. “Didn’t think so.”

“I am,” Russell interjected, smirking over at you. “Just tell me what you’d like and I’d be more than happy to get it for you.”

His voice deepened on that last part and it made parts of you clench. You bet he would. Why the fuck did Colter have to have a brother? And why did it have to be this guy who was watching you like the Big Bad Wolf, looking like he would gobble you up the second you’d let him? Who had a roguish grin to match? Besides, based on what Reenie had said during your quick interlude at the airport, Colter’s brother had been hitting on her big time. She had warned you to tread carefully due to his connection to this case Colter was looking into. That his brother might try to charm his way into peeking at the files for his brother that you were carrying among other things, but this information was meant to go strictly into Colter’s hands. You were almost insulted at her implying that you weren’t a damn professional and that you were so easily led by your libido (it had been almost six months which was a damn drought for you). It was almost as if she knew you too well (she did).

Even though you didn’t plan on going there, at all, you couldn’t resist, lifting your sunglasses to your head, not caring how bloodshot or tired your eyes looked. “Anything I’d like?”

He leaned forward slightly. “Whatever you want,” he promised, the look in his gaze making the same vow but for something completely different.

You leaned forward, too. “Well, in that case…” When you noticed him moving an inch more towards you, hanging onto what you would say next, you grabbed his box of fries out from underneath him. You smirked triumphantly and plucked a fry in between your fingers, popping it into your mouth. 

Instead of getting annoyed like Colter had, he quietly laughed and seemed plenty entertained as he watched you pick up another fry that had red sauce partially covering it. “I should warn you. I’m a sriracha on fries kind of guy.”

You glanced at the fry and then back at him, shrugging. “Oh, I’ve had way hotter things in my mouth than this, trust me.” You never broke eye contact as you slipped the fry past your lips, not reacting in the slightest when the spicy taste came into contact with your tongue. Russell’s eyes darkened and you had the distinct feeling that if you weren’t in public right now and Colter wasn’t here, you’d be at serious risk of him testing that theory.

“Okay,” Colter interrupted. “Let’s focus on the case, please.” He almost sounded irritated which made you glance over to see him glaring in both yours and Russell’s direction. You laughed to yourself and continued eating your stolen fries and sipping your modified version of an Irish coffee. As much as Colter’s annoyance amused you, you were also grateful that he was reminding you why you were there. You needed to get your horny ass in check.

“So this is everything Reenie could find on them?” He asked.

You shrugged. Reenie hadn’t exactly given you all the particulars and you assumed that was purposeful on her part for whatever the reason. Not that it bothered you in the slightest; you had your own shit to worry about. Besides, she also implied Colter would fill you in on everything once you caught up with him.

He looked displeased and then shook his head at you. “Why did she even bother sending you?”

You got angry then. How dare he? It’s not like you wanted to be sent on this fun little errand at the whims of the lawyer who was hellbent on helping him at every turn. “Hey. I traveled on two annoying ass flights to get here, dealing with chatty old ladies and misogynistic perverts, to hand deliver you this shit and to assist wherever I can. Without any warning or time to even pack a toothbrush, I might add. All while I have my own caseload to work on, thank you very much. To help you out and fast. So how about a goddamn thank you instead of whatever this is?” You gestured towards him. He went to reply, but you cut him off. “And while you’re turning that ungrateful frown upside down, why don’t you tell me what exactly it is you’re working on?”

Russell spoke up then, prompting you to look over at him. “A buddy of mine went missing and we’re trying to track him down. His wife called me and asked me to look into it. Colter’s helping.”

That quelled your irritation slightly and you pressed your lips together. You could only imagine how sick with worry this guy’s wife must be; you knew that feeling all too well. “I’m sorry to hear it,” you offered, your tone as genuine and sympathetic as you could make it. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Colter watching you, his frown gone, now replaced by the same sympathy you were feeling. You hated it so you decided to ignore it. “How long ago did he go missing?”

“A few days back. He was returning home after a grocery store run but he disappeared from a gas station while filling up.”

Your brows furrowed. “Taken?”

Russell shook his head. “No. He ran off. It looked like someone may have been after him.” 

Colter slid over the file to you, nodding when you glanced at him questioningly. “Doug Thompson. Former military. Now working for these guys as a private contractor.” Well, now Reenie’s explicit instructions made more sense. 

You opened the file and skimmed the papers as quickly as you could. “Wow,” you murmured. “So these guys are no joke.”

“No, they’re not.” You glanced up to find Russell watching you, all traces of any flirtation and humor gone. “But I don’t think they have anything to do with it. I would’ve heard something if they did.”

Your brows arched in surprise, hearing what he wasn’t exactly saying. “You’re working with them, too?”

He gave you a nod. “I am. We do mostly private security, that kind of thing.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the disbelief in Colter’s expression. He wasn’t buying it either. “Which is code for black ops, am I right?”

Russell tensed. Bingo.

“Which means that whether or not they’re responsible, they’re most likely connected to what’s happening. If someone was really after your friend.”

His jaw tightened. “What makes you say that? It could be anyone.”

You shot him a look and shut the file. “Because I was engaged to someone who did this kind of thing and I know how these things work.”

You watched as his eyes widened slightly and he leaned forward, curious. “Was?”

Ignoring that question and no longer as curious about him, you tossed the file back over to Colter. “Bottom line is this firm is where you should be looking first. Carefully, though. We both know how they like to keep their secrets.” You gave him a thin-lipped smile and sipped your coffee, slipping your sunglasses back on and getting up to head over to the food truck behind him. On your way, you spied a young family nearby. The mother was feeding a baby, smiling as she watched her husband spin his kindergarten-age daughter in circles by the arms, making her giggle. You felt an all-too familiar lump forming in your throat but you forced it back down and continued your trek, coming to a stop at the back of a short line, intending on getting your own food. You weren’t really hungry but you needed a few minutes to regain your bearings before you could switch back into professional mode and be of any help to the brothers.

By the time you returned, Colter sent you a sympathetic glance which you promptly ignored and dug into the case as well as your meal. 

Colter sighed when your car pulled away. He had insisted you go check into a room and clean up while he and Russell made some calls, did some digging, and he would call you if something turned up. You had been only too happy to agree.

Russell turned back to him, after watching you drive off. “Oh, I like her.”

“Of course you do,” Colter muttered.

“Alright, you already gave me the sit rep on you and the lawyer. Now I need one for you and her.” He gestured in the direction you had disappeared in with his thumb. “And don’t hold back because she is…” He gave his brother the perfection sign.

Colter shook his head and wiped his hands with a napkin. “There really isn’t anything to report there, either. We had a…weekend about a year back when I was working a case in her town. Then I got a new case in the next state over and we went our separate ways. Nothing ever came of it.”

Russell continued chewing his fries that you had returned before you left, thinking it over. “There seems to be quite a bit of hostility between you two for just a casual weekend.”

Colter folded his arms on the table. “We didn’t end on the best terms.”

His brother chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. “Bit of an understatement.” He then wiped his hands clean, too. “So, she’s fair game then, I take it?”

Colter shot him a glare. “No, she’s not. She’s off limits, too.”

“Come on, bro. You already said the lawyer was off limits.” He gave Colter a look. “Are you telling me you’ve got a thing for both of them? Because if you do, I wouldn’t blame you. They’re both—”

“It’s not like that,” Colter interrupted. “With Y/N, it’s… She’s been through a lot.”

Russell nodded and glanced back down at his food. “Yeah, I caught that.”

“The last thing she needs right now is a reminder of any of it.” Russell glanced up to catch Colter eyeing him sharply.

Russell got the message. He hadn’t addressed it at the time but he hadn’t missed it when you claimed to know how companies like Horizon worked or that you had been engaged to someone who worked for one of them. There was obviously a story there. And that combined with your change in demeanor when he mentioned Doug’s disappearance, you referring to your engagement in the past tense, and Colter’s protectiveness of you — Russell had a pretty good idea of what probably happened. It didn’t mean he didn’t like you, though. If he wasn’t mistaken, he had gotten the impression that you had liked him, too. But in the same vein, until he knew what he was working with, he didn’t want to do anything that might cause you to relive anything that you’d rather forget.

“You don’t plan to call her to help with any of this, do you?”

Colter shook his head.

Russell studied his brother, determining if that was the best option here. You were a PI and a damned good one if Reenie Green had sent you to help. It was obvious from his short interactions with the woman that she didn’t suffer fools and there wasn’t a single thing she missed. So he knew you had to be good at your job. Doug was still missing, Tracy was still worried, and they still weren’t any closer to finding any answers. It might be helpful to include you in this. Another pair of discerning eyes was always a good thing. In the end, though, Russell decided against saying anything. Instead, he asked, “So, you sure she’s off limits?” His brother gave him a glare and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m just kidding. I got it. Off limits.” 

He also didn’t mention that he had discreetly entered your number into his phone when you inconspicuously slid your business card over to him. At the time, he had thought you were giving him a greenlight to contact you after this was over, but now he realized you probably had known what Colter was going to do all along.

Instead, Russell mentioned the autopsy report he had stolen from the morgue and handed a copy to Colter to peruse. While he studied the paper, Russell discreetly sent you a message so you also had his number and so he could shoot you a text when the time was right.

You were in a store, grabbing some clothes to have for the next few days, not knowing how long you were going to be needed here, when your phone began to ring. One quick glance at the screen had you smirking. Russell Shaw. You had slyly given him your number earlier when Colter wasn’t looking, telling yourself you were making sure you were included in the case so you could do what you were sent here to do. But another smaller part of you had hoped the man would contact you for a whole other reason. You may not have been thrilled to learn what he did for a living but that little fact didn’t have to ruin any possible fun you two could have, right? 

Sure, you felt a little guilty because he was Colter’s brother but you were also a realist. There wasn’t anything happening with Colter and whatever had was never going anywhere. Plus that had been well over a year ago. In your mind, you were free as a bird. So, you made a move; now it was up to Russell to make the next one. And you were hoping this was it.

You slid the green button on your screen and put the phone up to your ear. “Russell Shaw,” you greeted, making sure your voice sounded something akin to warm honey slowly drizzling over some fruit. “I had a feeling you’d be calling me.”

“Could it have something to do with me texting you earlier that I’d call as soon as I had an update?”

“Tomato, tohmato.” Hearing his smooth chuckle come down the line, you continued to sift through a rack of shirts. “So, what can I do for you?”

“A lot it sounds like, if I’m being honest.” His voice had dipped in register much the same way it had in your presence before but the effect it had being spoken directly into your ear like this…well, it was a good thing you had already grabbed a half dozen pairs of panties to have on hand. While it took you a second to recover, you couldn’t help but smile. You had been right earlier; he was definitely interested.

A woman walked right past you and you lowered your voice further. “Do you plan to find out?”

“You bet your ass I will. As soon as I’m free to.”

Fuck. If you weren’t in the middle of a store right now, you may have just asked him to start talking dirty to you right there. You had only been on the phone with him for less than a minute and already you were digging your teeth into your lip to keep a guttural moan from escaping you. This man had you so turned on you were surprised that you could still see straight or that you hadn’t run to the dressing room to temporarily alleviate the fire he had started in your belly that was blazing a trail down in between your legs. That voice and the way he was using it right now…it was pure liquid sex being poured into your ear. Your irritation with Reenie had abated some when you met him, now it was all but gone as were any warnings she gave you about the man as well as the thought of his younger brother. “Good. I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Oh, I hope you do.” That didn’t make you clench down on nothing, not at all. If this continued, you would be in that dressing room in the next thirty seconds, guaranteed. You were already starting to get seriously aroused at the images playing in your head. 

“Trust me, there will definitely be some type of holding going on,” you promised. 

“Don’t I know it,” he nearly growled into your ear. Holy… That was it. You were on your way to the dressing room. The sign said only three items were allowed at a time but you didn’t give a fuck at the bulkload of items in your arm; this was an emergency.

But what he said next after quietly clearing his throat had you stopping in your tracks. “As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I only have a limited window of time. But I promise, we will pick this up later.”

You nearly let out a whine of disappointment. You very much wanted to continue this conversation right now but it slowly was coming back to you that yes, there was currently a missing persons case that was supposed to be your first priority. His missing friend in fact. Your brain knew that was more important though your body was screaming for something else. He had promised though that you would continue this later, something you could keep in your mind’s eye at the end of this very long and fucked up rainbow. As long as he dove into your pot of gold at the end, you could hold out a few more hours. “You better,” you grumbled.

Another warm chuckle floated down the line.

You turned to another rack of shirts, aggressively working your way through it. “So you said something about an update?”

“Yeah.” You had to admire how quickly he switched gears. While you were still struggling to get your libido under control and you were irritated, he sounded completely professional and nonplussed, as if he hadn’t been just talking to you with that tone of voice or implying what he wanted later on. “I reached out to one of my contacts and we think Doug might be hiding out in a location outside of town. We’re on our way there now to check it out.”

Shame immediately filled you at the mention of his friend. Here you were, horny as hell, about to go take care of yourself in the dressing room a minute ago and possibly ask him to tell you in explicit detail what he’d like to be doing to you if he were there, and Doug was still missing. You were more professional than that — hell, you knew better than that. You shook off the remnants of the last few minutes and went right into work mode. “Alright, you want me to come along for backup?”

“I’d love to have you back us up, but, uh…” 

You frowned at the uncertainty suddenly coating his tone. He wasn’t one of those guys, was he? That would be severely disappointing if he was and quite the mood killer, not to mention his third strike against him. You needed to get laid but not that badly. Though you hadn’t gotten the impression that he was one of those misogynistic assholes who thought a woman didn’t know her way around the big scary noisemakers known as guns earlier. “But what?” You snapped.

“Colter thinks you should sit this one out.”

Your jaw tightened and you quickly moved away from the mother and daughter that had just moved near you, lowering your voice. “That motherf— I don’t give a flying fuck what Colter thinks. I am not being sidelined.” You fucking knew it. The minute you had heard what the actual case was, seeing Colter’s gaze of sympathy directed at you — you fucking knew he would try to pull this shit.

“I think he’s just worried about you. You know? After what you’ve been through…”

That pulled you up short. “Exactly what did he tell you?”

“Uh, not much. He just thought this kind of situation might hit a little too close to home.”

You muttered a curse under your breath and made your way to the cashier. Fucking Colter. You knew you should have never told him about what happened with your fiance. He was the type of guy who would keep that in mind every time something like this came up. Hell, you were pretty sure that was partially the reason he had bounced out of your apartment so fast at the end of the long weekend you’d spent together. Sure, he had snagged another case, but you would never forget the look in his eyes as he quickly dressed — the same look you had seen at lunch earlier. At that time, you had liked Colter and you didn’t think your past would be something that could be held against you. Even though your time together had been strictly casual, he had talked to you about his father a little bit and he had seen a picture of Nate in your living room. What were you supposed to do when he asked you about it? Lie? After he had just shared something so personal with you? After he had slept with you four times thus far? You weren’t ashamed of your time with Nate and you had loved the man, been ready to spend the rest of your life with him before he lost his. That was just a tragic fact in your life. Never in a million years did you imagine that not only would it kick someone out your door so fast but now it would prevent you from being able to do your job.   

“Is it?”

You had completely forgotten you were still on the phone, silently fuming about this sudden development. “Is it what?” You dumped your clothes on the counter and gave a nod to the cashier in return when she greeted you.

“Is it hitting a little too close?”

You decided to nip this shit right in the bud. “Okay, Shaw, you listen to me and you listen good. It doesn’t matter if it’s hitting too close as you put it, or not. I do my job and nothing gets in the way of that. Just because your asshat of a brother has apparently decided that I’m some fragile flower of a woman that needs protecting from my own feelings doesn’t mean shit. I’m damn good at what I do and I’m a fucking professional. You hear me?” You handed the woman your credit card, noticing she was giving you an approving nod. You had forgotten that she was hearing every word of this side of the conversation. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

That was all you wanted to hear. “Good. Now, when are you going to send me that location so I can meet you?” You took the bag from the cashier, quietly thanking her, and made your way out of the store. 

“Tell you what. We’re only about thirty minutes out. From where you are, it’s about an hour and a half drive. Why don’t you let us check it out first and if it’s no dice, you can meet us on the way back into town? We’ll regroup and work it together from there on out.”

You tossed your bag in the backseat of your car. “Shaw,” you growled. “What did I just say?”

“This isn't that,” he assured you. “It’s a matter of us working against the clock. We’ve got to get to Doug before the guys looking for him do. That’s all this is.” 

You placed a hand on your hip and unclenched your jaw. He had a point and you also heard what he wasn’t saying: you racing up there to meet them would only slow them down and Doug couldn’t afford that. “Alright, is there anything I can do to help from here?”

“Not at the moment but keep your phone on. Depending on how this goes, we may need to lock down an address and quickly. And for that, we’re going to need you. I’m assuming you have an FBI contact somewhere?”

You pressed your lips together and got into your car. “I know someone,” you confirmed. “He owes me a favor or two.”

“I really want to say something right now at the idea of you and favors and me being the one to close out that guy’s tab but I can’t. My window of time is closing in about fifteen seconds.”

You smirked, shaking your head. “Pretty sure you just did.”

He cleared his throat one more time, affecting an even more professional tone than you’d heard from him thus far. “Got to go. Keep your phone on. I’ll text you as soon as I know what the situation is.” 

“Okay, will do.” You briefly closed your eyes, deciding the hell with it. “And, Russell?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful,” you quietly urged, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. Despite what you said to him before, hearing speak in a way that was similar to Nate had your nerves sitting a little bit on edge, now knowing what he and his friend Doug did for a living and what he and Colter could possibly be walking into. 

“Copy that,” he responded, making you realize that his limited window of time he mentioned had expired and he was no longer alone. Sure enough, you could hear the sounds of a car door shutting in the background.

“Keep me updated.”

“Will do. Talk soon.” Before you could say anything else, the line disconnected. Even though you’d heard the confirmation of why he had to go so quickly, a part of you irrationally worried for a second that you had probably scared him off. That your warning him to be careful only cemented whatever Colter had said about you to him and why the former wanted to keep you sidelined. You had meant what you said earlier; you were a professional and your personal tragedies would never get in the way of your job. But that didn’t mean that an age-old worry you’d had every time Nate had gone to work didn’t immediately resurface the minute you were faced with a similar situation. And even though you were pissed at Colter, you also didn’t want him to get hurt.

The moment you figured you had screwed yourself with Russell, and not in the good way, an alert sounded on your phone. You glanced at your screen and saw a new text message from the very man you had just been thinking about. 

“We’ve got this. I’ll text you the minute we’re done checking it out.”

A small smile formed on your face and you texted back a genuine “Thank you”. You forced yourself to take a deep breath and get your head back in the game. You still had to find a motel to check into and you also had to be ready in case they did end up needing that address Russell had mentioned. You quickly looked up motels on your phone, weeding out the ones with the worse reviews, and settling on a place. You fired up Google Maps and started the car, intent on getting a room and firing up your laptop to check on a few cases to keep you busy while you were waiting. That had always been the worst part for you: the waiting. Waiting for a phone call or text to let you know Nate was okay after a job even though he couldn’t tell you the details of said job. So you were determined to place your focus elsewhere but also be ready in case you were needed. 

You truly hoped the brothers found Doug alive at this location they were headed to and that the danger, if any, was minimal. That it was truly nothing the two couldn’t handle together.

Russell quickly hung up with you the minute Colter hopped back into his truck. His brother had stopped to get some coffee at Russell’s insistence though Colter had kept repeating they shouldn’t be stopping. When the latter didn’t immediately get out to go get the beverages after they parked, Colter arched his brows expectantly. Russell had given him a wide smile. “Mind getting it quick?” He waved his phone at the man, indicating he needed to make a call.

Colter looked less than pleased but gave him a nod, most likely assuming it was a call to one of Russell’s contacts that should remain unknown as his older brother had intended, and left. Russell removed his sunglasses and immediately pressed the phone icon next to your name, calling you.

Now, he definitely knew three things: you had lost someone to this type of work, you were a little bit of a spitfire and he liked you even more now, and he was definitely going to pay you a visit after he closed up this whole thing with Doug and got the man back to his wife in one piece. 

Sure, when he’d first seen you, you had been somewhat hostile but entertaining and you’d been a hot mess. One hell of a hot mess in his opinion. Then you’d been flirty, checking him out, and you had even stolen his fries to use them for implications that definitely hadn’t been lost on him (or Colter for that matter, the glare his brother graced you with when you weren’t looking he hadn’t seen since they were kids). Though he’d clocked your change in demeanor when Doug’s situation was brought up and hadn’t missed your evading his question about your engagement status, he couldn’t resist eyeing you up as you walked over to the food truck behind him, nearly whistling at the perfection he was staring at. Not to mention, he liked your spunk and that only made him want you that much more. Then when you plopped back down with your food, completely in professional mode and talking over the case quickly before Colter sent you off, he was even more impressed and he just knew he had to take his shot with you. Under him, over him, to the side of him — whatever you wanted, he was game. No matter what Colter had to say on the matter. Unless his brother had feelings for you, he was going for it the first chance he got.

Colter handed him his coffee, nodding at Russell’s thanking him. “You get anything?”

“Nothing more than we already know.” He placed his sunglasses back on and sipped at his coffee, feeling slightly bad for lying to his brother. He knew Colter’s “off limits” was more about protecting you than it was anything else. But he also had just gotten his brother to start talking to him again, to work Doug’s disappearance with him, and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. Nothing within reason, anyway. So a little white lie needed to be told; he’d done it before and way worse. Besides, he also didn’t think it was fair that Colter didn’t allow you the decision of whether you wanted to be involved in this or not. While he could appreciate his little brother looking out for you like the good man he’d turned out to be, everyone deserved to make their own well-informed choices. Considering your ex had been former military turned private contractor, you more than knew what you were dealing with. You had made a good point earlier: your history shouldn’t impact the job you had come here to do. And far be it from Russell to be the one to stand in your way and keep you from doing just that. Plus, they could really use your help if this safehouse Ann had given them didn’t pan out. 

Colter nodded and backed out of the parking spot. “Onward to the safe house. No more stops, right?”

“Right,” Russell confirmed. While Colter was distracted, he discreetly adjusted himself. There had been a moment in your conversation there that he had been tempted to tell you just how hard your sexy-as-hell voice and heavy flirtation had gotten him. But he knew once he did that, there would be no going back and either he’d have to jerk off in his brother’s truck (which would just be awkward especially if Colter returned quickly) or he’d have to somehow sneak into the coffee shop and make his way to the bathrooms so he could rub one out in there. Though that might also prove to be awkward if anyone else walked in to overhear the absolutely filthy things he would be murmuring into your ear from a stall, all of the promises he’d make about what he wanted to do to that sweet body of yours as soon as he had the chance, the sounds of him whacking it echoing loudly in the small space along with his deep groans. There had even been once or twice he’d gently rubbed the bulge in his jeans as you talked, only backing off when it got to be too much and he was about to break, close to ordering you to go somewhere private where you could touch yourself as well while also making sure you could be loud enough so he could hear every amazing sound he knew you would make. Hell, when you’d laid down the law to him, he’d nearly unzipped his jeans and stuck his hand inside to get some relief right there. Not that he didn’t hear what you were saying, not that he didn’t respect it or you, but damn if that little bit of fire you’d thrown his way didn’t turn him on even more. When he had answered you with “Yes, ma’am” a part of him had definitely been saluting you, no doubt about it.

Then he heard someone talking to you in the background, presumably a store clerk since it sounded like you had been told an amount for whatever you were buying. He had the quick thought, or hope, that maybe you were in a Victoria’s Secret or one of those places, buying a little something for him to unwrap you out of later on. Realizing just how much lust had fogged up his brain during this conversation, he dropped his head back against the seat, shut his eyes, and compulsively swallowed. He was immediately determined to keep his cool for the rest of your chat, especially when he opened his eyes to see Colter holding the coffee shop door open for an elderly couple walking inside, coffee cups stacked in his other hand. From there, he’d kept things professional and brief, though he hadn’t been able to resist getting that one last tease in before Colter opened the door. 

And then he’d heard your warning, detecting a note of worry in it, so he’d done what he could to reassure you with the text message he just discreetly sent you. He appreciated the fact that while this case might be stirring up some feelings from the past, you still had gone ahead and told him to be safe. He knew it was meant for both him and Colter, you obviously knowing how dangerous the job could be, but he was still getting used to him being included in that group. It was a little strange for him if he was honest. Other than Tracy saying it when he would pick Doug up for a job and the occasional conversation with Dory where he mentioned he was about to go to work, there was no one else who told him to be careful, to be safe. He found he kind of liked the idea and that only increased his appreciation of your situation, especially now having an even better idea of what you might be currently experiencing. He was no stranger to trauma, that was for sure, and so he could only imagine the thoughts racing through your mind right now, you being pissed off at Colter or not, you having just met him or not. He didn’t intend to give you cause for any more worry. No, he intended to give you something else when all was said and done. He couldn’t help but smirk at the thought.    

But now — now, it was go time. He needed to clear his head and focus on the job. He needed to get Doug back to his wife alive. Colter had made Tracy a promise that both brothers were intent on keeping. And Russell had made you a promise, one he was determined as hell to see through. 

You were just leaving the bathroom wrapped in a towel, your hair damp and sitting on one shoulder after you just squeezed the water out of it, when you heard a knock on your motel room door. 

You frowned, wondering who it could be, thinking maybe it was Colter. He always had a way of finding you when that was the last thing you wanted him to do. Truthfully, you had bitched him out earlier when he called you to inform you that he had just successfully delivered Doug back home to his wife, alive and unharmed. He and Russell had found the man at the safehouse and he told them who he had been running from. While Colter didn’t share that information, you gathered from what he did share that it had something to do with a job he and Russell had done for Horizon in the past. You kept your mouth shut but you shook your head. You knew it. Doing that kind of work was always dangerous and always carried risks like that. 

They made the long drive back and now the case was closed. Something you already knew thanks to the text message Russell had sent you already confirming this but you didn’t let on to Colter that you knew. Instead, you proceeded to tell him to stop treating you like a fragile porcelain doll and from there it quickly became heated between you two. The conversation ended soon after with neither of you willing to budge and you let out an aggravated sigh when you hit the end call button. You were grateful he and Russell were okay, but the former could drive you up a wall sometimes. If you could go back in time, you would definitely have told him to get lost when he showed up on your doorstep that one Friday night.

That immediately made you think of Russell and you realized you hadn’t texted him back yet. Colter had called right after you received the text message, with you assuming they had just gotten back into an area with service, and he had told you they had Doug and he’d call again when they got him safely home. You had sat on pins and needles, trying to focus on your most prevalent case, but the worry gnawed at you. Colter’s tone had not been his usual calm, devil-may-care one. It was coated with concern, not something you heard from him too often. So you had been distracted until Colter called you again and then the rest was history.

You slid over to Russell’s name on your screen and tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail. A different worry began to gnaw at you this time, the worry that you had indeed scared him off earlier. He had thought twice about it and decided you weren’t worth getting involved with, not even for the casual one night stand. The disappointment sat in your chest for a moment until you got angry. Between the argument with Colter and now Russell bailing on the plans he had implied to you that he wanted to keep, you were done. You hopped up and grabbed the bottle of whiskey you had purchased earlier, twisted off the cap, and took a swig. Well, it looked like it would be another dry night for you and your trip out here had been a complete waste. Colter hadn’t wanted your help and now you weren’t bumping pelvises with his hot older brother either so it was a lose-lose for you. As usual.

You swigged some more whiskey before deciding it was time for that shower you had been craving since this morning. Sure, you could take care of yourself in there and it might ease some of this angry tension in your body that Colter had helped to create, but you were too annoyed. You had angrily slammed your laptop shut and headed for the bathroom, intent on washing all of the bullshit from the last twenty four hours away.

And now, Colter had decided to show up. Of course he had. He might have a thing for Reenie that he refused to acknowledge (as did she), but he was angry (something not usual for him), worked up, and you were in town. Of course he’d show up wanting a repeat performance of the angry sex you’d had in the past. While you could really use the lay to get you out of this drought you found yourself in, you had no desire to go back there and you were definitely not in the mood.

That didn’t mean you wouldn’t give him a tease of what he couldn’t have, though. Not after that argument. Which is exactly why you decided to answer the door dressed (or underdressed) as you were. But when you angrily swung the door open, the person staring back at you in momentary shock was not Colter Shaw. You were shocked yourself; how the hell had he found you?   

Russell’s gaze darkened as he took all of you in. You noticed that he had changed his clothes and his hair looked slightly damp, as if he had recently taken a shower himself. “Hey,” he greeted, his voice dipping in register again. 

And just like that, as if a button had been pressed with that deep tone of his, you were back in the mood. You smirked and leaned against the door. “Hey,” you silkily replied. “Not the Shaw brother I was expecting.”

“But the one you were hoping for, right?” Russell’s wolfish grin was back, completely undeterred by your teasing.

You pretended to think it over for a moment. “Depends.” You grabbed at his jacket and yanked him in closer to you, making him chuckle as you swung the door shut behind him. “What does this brother plan to do?”

“Like I said,” He used that voice again, making goosebumps rise along your skin. “Whatever you want.”

“Exactly what I wanted to hear.” You lifted up and wrapped your arms around his neck, the movement forcing the towel to fall from your body, as you pushed your lips to his. You ran your fingers through his hair and greedily kissed him, nearly moaning into his mouth when his tongue delved into yours and his hands palmed at your ass. If he moved those fingers a little lower, he would find you already practically dripping for him. If you weren’t so busy trying to keep your balance as he proceeded to devour you, you might have marveled at the effect this man had on your body.  

A moment later, he gripped your ass tightly and picked you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. You could feel the covered bulge against you and you couldn’t help trying to grind a little against it, trying to get some friction.

When you both needed air, you moved to his neck, yanking his head backwards and making him chuckle as you went to town on him. You could also hear him letting out tiny groans above you as he tried to catch his breath. It was one of the hottest fucking things you’d ever heard and you intended on hearing more before the night’s end. “I should tell you before we go any further,” he panted.

“Mmmm, the only thing I need to know is if you’re clean. Because I really want that in my mouth.” You reached below to squeeze his erection, making his breath catch that was then let out in a quiet hiss.

“I-I’m clean,” he assured you.

“Good, me too,” you murmured, nibbling on his ear. “You just need to make sure to pull out and we’re golden.” 

“Okay. I, uh, I also came packing.”

You moved your hand over him and squeezed once more, earning another drawn out hiss of “shit”. “You certainly did.”

He moved you back so he could look at you, his eyes the darkest you’d seen them yet. He cupped your cheek, gliding his thumb along your bottom lip before gently placing it inside your mouth against your tongue. You sucked the digit in further, moaning around it. His gaze was so transfixed on your mouth that you couldn’t help but snicker and release his thumb with a pop. “Russell.”

His gaze slowly trailed upwards to meet yours.

“Was there something you wanted to tell me?” You teased as you rubbed earnestly at his erection. 

“Uh,” You noticed his eyes close briefly when you rubbed near where the tip was located. You could feel a little wet spot forming on the denim underneath your ministrations and it made you grin. “Uh, Colter said you were off limits.”

Your hand immediately stopped its motion. Oh no, that motherfucker had not. He had no claim to you and whatever moment you two had back in the day had long since passed, along with the several women he’d bedded after you including Reenie. There was no way in hell he got to play the dibs card or tell you and Russell, two consenting adults, what to do. You planned to tell him that the next time you spoke with him, if you ever did again. For now, though, you only wanted to focus on the man whose fingers were hungrily roaming over your bare ass and lower, groaning when he found your own wet spot.

You cupped his chin, making sure he was looking straight at you as you stated in the sexiest voice you could manage, “I think you mean no limits. Right, Russell?”

He groaned and held you to him as he hurriedly walked you over to the bed. “Fuck, I knew I liked you.” You let out a giggle as he tossed you gently onto the bed that was quickly cut off by a moan when his body immediately covered yours and his tongue plundered your mouth.

A sudden thought occurred to you and you nearly chuckled against his lips. You had seen the way he had been eyeing you up earlier today and you realized you had the man completely pegged right then. Because just like the Big Bad Wolf, he proceeded to consume you completely, before the tables turned and you did some devouring of your own.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[remedyturtles]

10 with Leo and Raph would be so interesting. (Thought I can't really picture either of them saying somthing that mean to eachother, so maybe mystics are involved?)

I hope you have a nice day!

great minds think alike y'all. thanks @bluemoonsymphonies and anon for the prompt! i hope u both enjoy....

wordcount 1k, pre-movie

10. "Please... what am I doing wrong?" "What aren't you doing wrong?!"

Leo’s throat hurt. 

Just add it to the list of bullshit that Raph was doing to him. Because there was absolutely no reason that Raph had to come and interrupt him while he was snoozing on the bean bag. Like, this lecture could’ve totally waited until later. Maybe after Leo had gotten some fucking sleep. 

“You’re not taking this seriously!” Raph said.

“You could not be more of a broken record if you tried, Rapha.” Leo hadn’t gotten up from the bean bag and suffocated a yawn into his fist. He was tired of the grating arguments and he was tired, just bone tired of the fighting for no reason. And tired in general. Because his head was so loud and when he laid down to sleep there was just… screaming there too. 

“That’s because you’re not listening to me.” Raph poked him right between the eyes. “I gotta drill it in that empty head somehow.”

Leo twitched. That was a bit harsh, especially since it wasn’t a gentle poke. He was feeling a little ganged up on and crawled out of the bean bag to stand his ground, crossing his arms. “Yeesh, tell me how you really feel.” 

“I think you’re lazy and unmotivated.” Raph scoffed. “We’ve got so much we could be doing and you’re sleeping in the middle of the day.”

Leo… paused. Stared at his brother with a bit of hurt shock. He was really coming at him, no holds barred. He held up his hands in surrender and said, “And wow, I think you’re a huge jerk. What the hell, dude? For your information, I barely slept last night, so get off me.”

Something flickered in Raph’s eyes. But it didn’t stay. He scoffed again, louder and more derogatory, raising up his lip to sneer with his snaggletooth. “You’re not even trying.”

“Wow.” Leo repeated. Hands still raised, skin goosebumping, a chill from the undisguised scorn. This was different from the usual annoyed arguing. This was … mean. “Okay. Please, let's hear it. What am I doing wrong, then?”

“What aren't you doing wrong?” Raph spat back, chest heaving. Genuine anger sung hot and heavy. 

Leo stared. This sounded a lot like the inside of his own head. Which didn't make sense, because that wasn't Raph. He pushed and he pushed but he was never like this. Not his Raph. Not his lovable big lug of a brother who truly only wanted the best for all of them. 

“Nothing to say?” Raph tilted his head to the side. His eyes were rather blank, now that Leo was making painful eye contact with him. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Leo prompted.

Raph blinked rapidly, surprised, then shook his head. “What are you talking about? You’re the one who's a problem here."

"Yeah, something is definitely wrong." Leo stepped forward, cataloguing other symptoms as he went. "You give me a hard time, you piss me off, and you nag me. But you're never, ever mean. So what gives?"

Raph was sweating. Not any of his usual sweat, not a scent Leo could pinpoint with scary accuracy. Something unheard of. When Leo got closer, he could see the pin-pricked pupil and too-quick breathing. He practically growled at Leo as he got close. 

"Relax." Leo smiled, charming, getting another step closer to the lion's den. Flickering his gaze over Raph to try and find some kind of clue. "I get you, I know you want me to try, etc etc. But you wouldn't just brush past me telling you I hadn't slept, because you know I hate being honest about that. You'd be beating my ass with a pillow to go to bed then and try again in the morning. So either you've been possessed by a demon or cursed. Which is it?"

"I'm not –" Raph lurched forward.

But Leo had already spotted it. He pinched the little bug between his thumb and forefinger and pulled – a parasitic scarab bit down into the skin of his neck. The moment it left Raph's body, the little pincers wiggled agitatedly in the air, and Leo surveyed the bug with a distasteful eye. 

Raph inhaled sharply, hand flying to his neck, and took two staggering steps backwards. He breathed, "What the fuck."

Leo waved the evil little beetle at him. "Did you piss off someone? Maybe walk through a magical rainforest?"

"I – I – " Raph's face morphs into one of pure horror. "I'm so sorry."

"Aw, buddy." Leo opened a portal and flicked the beetle through it, sending the fucker to the moon. Then he waved it away and opened his hands in offer. "It's okay. I know you better than that." 

Raph scooped him up in a hug so tight it took his breath away. He squeezed and squeezed and Leo bore it with the patience of someone who'd been a teddy bear for this man many a time. 

"It's okay." Leo mumbled to him. 

"Not really." Raph replied, miserable.

"You didn't mean it." Leo shrugged.

The arms around him tightened. Raph shuddered a breath.

"Okay, maybe you meant it a little bit." Leo amended, because it wasn't like this conversation was new. Just the vitriol at which he spat it. "But bud, I know you're not coming at me to hurt me. I'd never think that. You're literally doing this because you want me to be my best. I'm not stupid. I'm just really, really good at acting like it."

Raph pulled back enough to show his red eyes. "Then why won't you work with me here?"

Leo couldn't say, because I'm scared my best isn't good enough. Instead he pat his big brother's arm and said, "Let's get you checked out and make sure that beetle didn't cause any lasting effects, hey?"

"Leo–" Raph growled.

Too late. Leo eeled out of his grip and danced away, waving over his shoulder. "Come on, chop chop, I don't have all day you know."

Raph… sighed. And followed, shoulders hanging.

[toskarin]

Do you have any real roguelike game recommendations?

broad spectrum somewhat rambly recommends

I generally lean towards recommending Angband and its variants (Sil-Q is really good but you should definitely be familiar with Angband first. similar is true of Hengband, the most popular Japanese variant, for other reasons) because I personally enjoy them and they're straightforward enough to learn the genre with

Ancient Domains of Mystery is a good time if you like open world rpgs and, as a nice perk for people picking it up, has a tileset graphics option

NetHack and Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup would fall into the category of being good games that I don't personally enjoy that much. similar territory with The Ground Gives Way, but these are the ones I see hook people a lot, so they might be something you're interested in

Iter Vehemens ad Necem falls into similar territory, where I like it a good bit, but often think about playing it and go "ohhh but then I'd have to actually play it"

the most accessible recommendation I can give that is pretty widely accepted as a roguelike is definitely Tales of Maj'Eyal, since it's fully graphical and has really streamlined controls, followed by Caves of Qud (more just because of how approachable it is, but it has lots of streamlining as well)

for the sickos who like System Shock and robot combat, there's Cogmind. for the sickos who like to cast one spell and then strike fifty enemies two-hundred times in a row while your spell chains between them, there's Rift Wizard (1 and 2)

for the sickos who like when game mechanics involve praying to real-world spirits to ward off bears and making sheep walk over fishing nets to turn them lucky, there's UnReal World

I'm not recommending Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead because that actually feels kind of immoral even for sickos who like zombie games, but I have to mention it if I recommend Cataclysm: Bright Nights

Elona and Elin aren't really roguelikes (nor intended to be played as them), but you know how some music isn't really in a genre despite fans of that genre really liking it? they're kind of like if ADOM were more concerned with being a longterm fantasy world lifesim

[weirdocat83]

Idea for timebomb that would def be hard to pull off but incredibly funny, jinx becomes a firelight instead of ending up with silco, but Ekko has no fucking clue.

Instead of staying in one place and getting adopted by silco, powder runs off and hides. She forages on the streets for a while. Maybe even a few years. Then she hears of the firelights or maybe one of them picks her up off the streets. The thing is, she knows it’s run by Ekko. So she hides her identity. She already saw how Vi reacted to everyone dying and it was her fault so she doesn’t even want to know how Ekko would react. So she hides her identity. Maybe she dyes her hair or maybe she just covers up a LOT but either way, some people think it’s strange but it’s not like they have any room to question it. I’d imagine her voice is quite identifiable so she just elects Not To Talk until she gets her hands on a voice changer. After getting a masked outfit like we see most of the firelights in, she just starts wearing it everywhere.

She ends up really blending in and making friends despite her issues and in some cases, because of them. She’s definitely not the same as AU powder from S2E7 but similar. Definitely more chaotic and driven. She even talks to Ekko and re-befriends him. Powder would be seen as a more secretive person that doesn’t speak much, if at all. That being said, she definitely communicates her intentions and what she is going to do. A lot. She’s a very energetic person so I can’t imagine her staying silent about whatever she’s excited about, whether it be her latest invention or a successful mission.

And while she initially hid her identity out of fear of rejection (and even later still does to an extent) as they become closer it just becomes increasingly harder to bring up the fact that she is powder… especially when her and Ekko become closer and he starts confiding in her…

For a nice twist, you could have either Scar or Silco knowing. Silco could hold her identity over her head and have her make some tough decisions. What would she do to keep her identity hidden?

Scar on the other hand, is very close to Ekko, and knowing would create friction between not only Powder and Scar but also Scar and Ekko. Scar advising powder to tell Ekko and possibly helping her plan how exactly to go about that. Meanwhile Ekko would be wondering what they’re sneaking off to do and maybe he’d overhear and find out that they know where powder is but not who powder is.

The main thing that got me thinking about this idea is just the compilation of moments where powder ALMOST got caught and just BARELY was able to keep the secret. Also potentially dropping hints around the undercity that Powder is alive but never enough to really tell where she is (right next to him). Also Ekko being all like “Powder was my best friend and the only person who really Understood. I had a crush on her. She meant so much to me, I wish I had the opportunity to tell her how I felt and still feel.” Meanwhile powder, right next to him, is blushing under her mask and short circuiting because WHAT. And trying to act like she is still functioning as Ekko is continuing because if she showed a reaction it might give her away.

[monsters00km]

It is definitely on both sides. I was mainly talking from my experience in fandoms. Where a lot of times people who are just enjoying the media are not spreading hate. It's the people who decide to have some sort of take are usually putting something down. And I don't mean in a I'm critiquing the media kinda of way, i mean in full hate kinda way

I don't like or try to interact with anyone who is like x is better than y bc of this. Those posts usually have hatred within it.

As for what you're saying to begin with. I agree. Fully. Characters have limits based on what we are shown. I think what is interesting about Arcane is they push that specific limit with pretty much every character. And the fascinating thing about life is you don't really know how people will react in their moments of greatest dispare. And thats what makes storytelling so hard and complex bc you have to show that it makes sense while also showing how far some will fall.

And that's one of the things I like about Arcane. I think they do that well. They show us who these characters are at their core. And they take that and push the character to an extreme. And show how that core manifests at that point. And it's so real to have that explored in the way of corruption. As in, the characters themselves are acting in a way they believe is right/in a manor they would act. But us as the viewer sees they are not. Bc they have been blinded by grief/rage/despiration/etc. And so they are like a corrupt version of themselves.

And i think it is so interesting for them to also show that sometimes we can pull ourselves out of it. And we will never be the same person again. But we can move forward with who we are.

Also, sorry. I didn't know you were german. Im an American who loves history and who is noticing one to many similarities between pre ww2 Germany and the USA today. I think more Americans should be called that word. But that doesn't mean I should throw it out to anyone. So sorry, my bad.

"Caitlyns redemption arc isn't very good."

Maybe she doesn't have a redemption arc.

May be Arcane isn't about redemption.

May be Arcane is about flawed characters who are neither good nor bad.

May be Arcane is a show that shows us that good people can do horrible things and how our society and the people we have or don't have as support can shape that.

Good people can become horrible. Not because it is innate within them. But because of their life experiences.