#but like. i don't buy that the somebodying process does THAT much for a person

[dullahandyke]

'eimear you keep making the same exact post' well once again i must reiterate he is the illusions guy

[ID: a picture of Ienzo from Kingdom Hearts, saying, "Hi guys I'm soooo well-adjusted and nice now! Don't worry about the whole 'growing up in an emotional suppression cult for all my most formative years' thing, or the 'used to be renowned for being mean and manipulative' thing. I'm friendly and normal nowwwwww, trust." A large red arrow points to him and loudly says, "The fucking illusions guy."]

[badnewswhatsleft]

total guitar #174 april 2007 (part of a feature on signature guitars)

transcript below cut:

JOE TROHMAN: Washburn Idol WI26 Interview by Henry Yates

How long did it take to develop your signature model? "It took a good six months and I went through three or four prototypes that were vastly different to how the guitar actually turned out. I went into the workshop originally, but by three months into the process I was on tour so I had to do a lot via email. I can't say I was the easiest person to work with. My ideas changed as the prototypes arrived. But once I saw the final guitar I was pretty happy with it."

What makes the perfect electric guitar, and how close does your signature model get? "I like something that's function over form. I have a lot of really old Les Pauls at home, so I've always liked a bare-boned guitar. You've got two pickups, two volumes, two tones, a pickup selector and that's it. At this stage in my life, I'd say my Washburn is perfect. It has a very thin body, but when you plug it in it sounds awesome. It plays well, especially given how much I jump about. I don't feel dumb holding it."

Did you know what you wanted when you were approached to make a signature guitar? "At first, I was surprised that somebody wanted to make a guitar with me — I felt like only one in a million guitarists got to make a signature model. I went through a load of weird ideas before going with something classic that would be a real road warrior. I also wanted to keep the price down, so that kids can afford it."

Be honest, how important was it that your guitar looked kick-ass? "I think 'classic' is the word, but I guess people do come up and tell me it looks cool… The fret inlays are keyholes. We had keyholes on the From Under The Cork Tree inlay — it's the idea of the all-powerful, all-watching eye, like on the one-dollar bill."

Have you ever popped into a music shop and tried your own guitar? "I hope to be able to do that. The plan is that people will be able to buy exactly the same guitar as the one I'm playing live. I think that's the cool thing — when someone buys a Slash Les Paul or a Scott Ian Washburn, they want that exact guitar, so I think you've got to make the guitar you sell the same as your own or you're kinda cheating."

Finally, is there anything you'd change about your signature model? "Right now, it's perfect. I think next time around I might try to make something that looks a bit more vintage — in Tobacco Burst or something — and try to get the vibe of a Les Paul Custom. I think I'll play it for a very long time. I played it all through our last tour and nobody expected it to be this good. Even my tech was surprised!"

[tarotnoob]

BTS group reading 6/18/24

This is the full BTS reading I did around the Jin discharge/reunion. I think that's important to note since I caught the vibe around that event as opposed to everyone being at their respective bases.

Disclaimer: Tarot readings are not fact; please don't let anyone make you feel they are. Using tarot readings as proof of anything related to BTS or the members is, frankly, silly.

You can also check out the reading I just did for Jimin. There were things that I noticed in Tae/Jimin's readings here that seemed connected. What does that mean? Nothing other than their energies crossed, so I interpreted it as having a convo about some stuff.

Essentially while there's a process to tarot, there's also a bit of guesswork trying to work out the pieces. Not to mention readers operate with their own biases.

RM - Even before I looked at the guidebook for the Oracle cards I got the sense that this is his time to not really give a s*** about anything. I feel like he's working on trying to take things less seriously so much to the point that he might be trying to go out of his comfort zone. I feel like he's trying to simplify things in his life, whether this means literally getting rid of clutter or getting rid of the BS. There's a lot of energy focused on the self. Whether this is more self-help books or working out or even pampering himself in some ways. The spirit card also makes me think that maybe he could be reading more philosophy books or even diving into different religions or spiritualities. If he has time off, I still think that he likes to spend it in nature. 

I really think that there's a lot of energy being put into physical fitness and health. He might even be eating better and simplifying his diet. I think that in terms of clarity he's definitely seeing things about what he wants to do in the future. He might be thinking a lot ahead to the next steps that they could take as a group or just him himself on projects. The candle and spirit definitely gives me Ace of wands vibes. So he might actually be working on a collaboration with somebody. I guess that could be a romantic spark as well. It kind of has a romantic vibe there. But it could just be vibing with people who are on his same wavelength. Talking about life and all kinds of things related to that. I see a greater sense of understanding his purpose and what he wants to do and where he wants to go and how he wants to be perceived. I just really get a no-nonsense don't give s*** kind of vibe. I think people do that when they need to shed something. They need to just start over because he was getting too frustrated and worked up and realized that he just had to go back to the basics or throw it all away. But I mean he's not doing it by being a hermit. Even with the number nine popping up lol. There could be some of that but I still see him being rather a social with other people who think similarly or interesting that way to him. I definitely see him talking to somebody about the future though. Having two figures in each card's could mean again like a partner or one specific friend or could stand in for a group of people but he's definitely making plans with someone besides himself. If not specific plans together then just a person that he likes to talk to about the future. 

I'm also feeling like he's more in a very sensitive and feminine type of energy where he's more open to receiving possibly. Like so more interested in learning and gaining knowledge and getting in touch with taking care of himself both mentally and physically. I feel like you probably also bought something really nice recently. Like some type of luxury item. From a car to a house to like a really nice watch or a piece of art. But I definitely feel like he's spending if it makes him feel better. I know that's getting away from decluttering but I think he's like I don't give a f*** I'm just going to buy things that make me happy and look aesthetic. 

Jin

Jin has strength and nature. This could be specific to a trip coming up in Leo season for him. So very soon. Where he might take a vacation to someplace where you would think of nature. It could be anywhere from Jeju to the mountains to getting away from Korea but I get a sense of somebody probably taking a trip to a location that's not necessarily a busy city. It could be to go camping probably. I think also it means like a sense of wonder. In the book it says something like and every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks. And the keywords are gifts wonders and home. I just feel like this is going to be a time of relief for him to do things that are fun and carefree. I wonder if he's able if he goes on the trip will he like do a live or share a diary about it. It could involve music or gathering with people from the music industry as in friends or it could just be a situation where they go to camp and they have a campfire and it's very chill. It could even be like something I don't want to say spiritual but like a retreat where you have events that make you relax like yoga or sound baths. 

That doesn't really sound like him but that's kind of the vibe I'm getting. Or like a get together where people play music but it's not like loud music. It would be like you know if you get by campfire on somebody has an acoustic guitar. So they play folk or soft music together and just sing acapella. I see him having a good and relaxing time. Just trying to get back into the groove of things not trying to rush into something. Not to say that he might not start working on music right away. But I just see him even if he's doing that he's kind of playing around and trying to have fun and relax. Also maybe a lot of appreciation for what it means to have your own time and to not be stuck in the military anymore. I'm sure that sounds obvious but when I did a reading for him right before all the guys met the other day, I actually cried because of the cards that came out. Because it was just such a lovely energy. 

This is somebody who like has really figured out how not to let external things affect him and to just live in the now and like to approach things with such a wondrous and joyous type of energy. I think he is a person of strong character. If there's anything that he wants to do he has the willpower to do it. I don't think he lets anybody step over his boundaries. I think they've already said this but there's an energy of being a kid. I'm not saying he's immature. You could look at him and say the pranks or the things he says are silly and that's immature but it's not from that. It's from someone who just has decided not to let negative things affect him or even if they do because he's human, he won't let them beat him down I guess? Because life is too short? I feel like there's a lot of wisdom people could get from him if they sat and had a chat with him. And you could get him to be a bit serious. I think he doesn't want to be serious. Not because he's avoiding anything but just like he doesn't want to be lol. That's not his vibe. But yeah I think he's ready to rest and relax and recharge right now and so I would definitely expect him to take a trip very shortly to a location where he can feel relaxed. 

Yoongi

I'm a little surprised to see joyous especially given the tarot cards. But joyous here the keywords are appreciation, overflowing choice. The intention phrase for it is choose to spread your joy contagiously. You will keep your spirit healthy. Your joy will make others happy. The quote that goes with it is from Carlos Santana and it says if you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment. 

On the one hand I can't tell if I'm being biased especially given his tarot cards but then how I feel he probably feels about his military service. So part of me is wondering if this joyous card is a bit sarcastic. But when you read the description it's a lot like gratitude or being optimistic. Which I do think he is. It's living and practicing an existence of being joyful needs to come within. Celebrate being alive and having the freedom to make your own choices. Follow the path leading upwards and see the candy jar as half full rather than half empty. Positive thoughts and actions will attract higher vibration surrounding you, granting you pure joy. I have wondered from things he's said for years now if he has not necessarily a spiritual practice but more like a mental practice of letting things go and not having attachments. 

So I think he has adapted some of that to life. The tarot cards kind of indicate I don't want to say bitterness. But we have the nine of wands which is a little bit defensive or having seen some s*** or being determined and the devil tends to have those like negative self thoughts. The joyous part could be advice for him for how he feels right now. I can only imagine how someone like that feels when they have to do something that they don't believe in. I don't think he gives a s*** about military service. He probably doesn't think that he should be doing it. He probably doesn't believe in anything that has to do with authority or nationality or patriotism. I'm not saying he would be a critic or anything although there's much to criticize so it wouldn't surprise me. So I think this is kind of a difficult thing for him to wrap his head around so he's just trying to see the silver lining. Which is probably that eventually it will be over. I think he's trying to find things to be grateful for. I think he's looking forward to the end. 

I have always wondered if he has a companion or like a partner of some kind. I don't think it's a friend. I do lean toward a companion, I feel like they've been together for a while, and I feel like this person provides comfort as much as possible and could be the joy that he finds in what is probably an annoying experience for him right now. I think probably this person is the only one kind of keeping him grounded. I think the relationship could be a little codependent in that regard. I also feel like there's something hidden. Something sneaky or secret. This could be anything like something he's doing in secret. That could be the relationship. Or somebody involved is doing something that he's not aware of or he's doing something that other people aren't aware of. It's interesting that in all the cards there is this little extra animal. Which is part of why I'm leaning toward there is somebody significant in his life that provides comfort. That or he just got a dog lol. 

15, 9 and 6 could be relevant so maybe something happening in September between September 6th and 15th. Something that could be a secret being revealed. I'm not like super confident in that I'm just guessing what the numbers could mean if anything. I'm kind of seeing five of wands as well within this nine of wands, so there could be other types of conflicts happening. These sticks are burning and this is a snowman and that dog is also made of flames so technically the snowman could melt under the heat. And the devil obviously hell. Kind of silly but like literally he could be somewhere right now that is extremely hot lol. He could feel under pressure or feel the heat. There could be some type of temptation. It could be that he is involved with someone or something that could potentially cause harm to him. Of either a slight degree or more than that. Something that he's doing or indulging and might be kind of iffy but at the moment it seems to be bringing him joy or happiness or a way to get through stuff. I don't really know what that could be. 

Besides indulging in a relationship that's codependent, it's not like he could really be doing drugs or abusing substances. I think it's something else it's like tempting but at the same time it's harmful. I don't know what that could be given him not being able to do much. It could also be that like he's in a situation where he can't react the way he wants and feels confined. But that's me just like assuming things. I'm not really feeling anything. The devil is also a card about restriction so again maybe feeling restrained and kind of at his limit. I mean that sounds really dramatic, this is obviously somebody who can handle anything but like I just can only imagine him being incredibly irritated that he has to do this stuff. I just hear him being really sarcastic in my head about the idea of joyous. Like yeah what a joy this is. But he knows he's going to stick through it so what can he do. I mean he can't go into it completely like I hate this because he'd be miserable. 

Even though I think he's miserable but he's trying his best to find the things that make it endurable. I also wonder if with this person whether it's a new person or like I felt like an old person that maybe this person has like melted him in some ways and made him softer. Maybe because this person has seen him through good and bad. But I would definitely guess that if it's a person it's a bit codependent. Like they don't want to go out with everybody they would rather just stay in by themselves and only interact with each other. Kind of like when you invite a friend and no matter how many times you invite the friend they always want to ask if they can bring their partner. Which some people might be like what's wrong with that well that's weird. Okay it's weird. You can separate for a night to hang out with friends. And often your friends don't necessarily want to hang out with your partner. But yeah I'm not really getting much other than like irritation and sarcasm and just dealing with it and probably a person involved in his life that's pretty serious and is sticking close to him. But something about it is a little maybe toxic. Because again the snowman wants to take care of the little flame dog but the flame dog does end up melting him. But he seems to really like this person and I would guess it's a woman Yes. She might be older than him. I know all the little animals and stuff look younger but like I feel like she could be older 

It could even be that he's actually the little pet in every single card because of how much he seems to look up to her or be like obsessed with her. And if in her eyes that she's rather powerful and like caring and taking care of him. That's why I kind of think she's probably older by at least 5 years it could be more than that. Anyway. I think I said that last time I did a reading about him where I felt like he was talking to somebody about creative projects. And I think it's the same person probably so. Don't ask him to marry you because I'm pretty sure he's already got somebody in mind and it's pretty serious and probably long-term. But it's just a guess and a feeling. I don't feel 100% about anything going on with him. 

But I do probably think he's taken. However I feel like it's a non-traditional type of relationship. As in like they don't like labels or it could be open. But it just doesn't feel traditional hetero dynamics. I think they would call it like a companionship or even like one's a superpower and one's a familiar. She might also be kind of spiritual or has that same type of interest in those philosophical ideas without being spiritual. She could even be a little witchy. She could be into Japanese religions or spirituality or be Japanese I say that because of the fox. And they have legends about foxes being able to change shape. And this animal seems to keep changing shape in the different cards from being a dog to a fox to whatever is with the devil. So in that way in terms of non-traditional this woman is just not into labels. Maybe they're even non-binary? I don't really feel like that though I feel like they're quite feminine in nature but it's more not believing in labels and thinking everything is a social construct with a bit of scientific spirituality thrown in lol. I just don't see them as into incense and tarot yet they apply certain philosophies like that to things. Anyway interesting. 

J-Hope

I am not surprised that he would somehow pull the focus card out of a lot of really like spiritual worded Oracle cards lol. I am always thinking of him as being high focused and a little not uptight but like wound a little bit tight yeah. Very respectful and kind of serious. But deeply charming. As for the photo we have somebody who is in a white gown with flowers. And we have the four of wands, so it's almost giving like a wedding vibe. I think I said this in a past reading about him too where I thought there was some kind of wedding so I don't know why that keeps coming up with him. If you look at the four of wands as well that guy has like white hair and it reminds me of J-Hope when he had that white blonde hair before he enlisted. So there's definitely I mean I would look at it and be like okay well somebody is putting their attention into like an event that looks like a wedding and there's a little bit of anxiousness and anxiety about it. I don't know is he going to get married, is he going to a wedding, is he going to be in a wedding? The other thing could be there's some type of celebration or contest coming up where he would perform and there's some anxiety and he's just focused on that event right now. 

Reading the book for focus also sounds a lot like somebody and the steps you would take to manifest something and make something happen. Especially like achievements or things that you want to accomplish. So it's putting in the effort toward that and being aware of what you want. So there is a moment of celebration that he's working toward and focused on. This could be like any of them where it's a focus on being discharged and celebrating that moment afterward. And maybe he's like super highly anxious and focused on that specific countdown day. So I think he's really looking forward to the end. And at the end there could be some kind of celebration that would include a wedding. I don't know if it's he's seeing somebody I don't know. There are lots of people in our lives who could get married but it's just interesting that he got four of wands and this card looks so much like a bride carrying flowers. They're both carrying flowers. So there's nervousness here. I mean we won't know until he gets out but maybe he has promised somebody that at the end of his discharge they could celebrate something. It could be anybody else throwing a wedding or party but I'm just saying it's looking like I want to imagine a situation where he is with a woman Yes a woman probably very likely and they're both looking forward to this moment and there's a celebration and there are flowers and there is somebody in a white dress so I'm just saying. 

It's interesting that the focus card talks about manifestation and creating things when the character on the four of wands is the person who created BMO and a lot of robots. So there's this idea of creating a dream reality. Creating his own happiness. Highly focused on what's going to make him happy and what's coming up in the future. There's also an interesting take on flowers. It could be that being with Jin now he has flowers in mind and that's how he associates the end. It could be a focus on beauty and happiness and things that are good. Also to have flowers you have to put in the dedication to grow them. And when you do that something really beautiful comes out and you've created something.they are white roses so it could signify like a friend getting married. 

Of course I like don't see anything in the cards to indicates to me a person that he's seeing now or whatever. I'm just like literally this is exactly what it looks like on the cards. But like I said it could be a friend's wedding. Once he gets out and he's looking forward to that. Or it could be way in the distant future that there's some type of marriage. We have the numbers four and the numbers 9. So this could be something for next April or it could be something in September or the event could take place on the 4th or 9th of a month. I don't think he's getting out until early October maybe. I'm not sure of the specific date. But maybe he's getting out on like the 9th or the 4th I don't know. But there is no way a guy as amazing as he is is not dating somebody. Like I don't know if any of them were dating and they took a break because obviously it'd be difficult to keep a relationship while you're enlisted. Especially for JK and JM who are like in the middle of nowhere and mountains and apparently it's hard for them to get a lot of time off. 

I'm not sure what to totally make of the nine of swords beyond being like a generally anxious as a person always he seems to be. But this character has a harp and the swords kind of make me think of communication and writing. So I think when he gets anxious he might be writing and working on things like at night you know when he's in bed and about to go to sleep. I also think this just indicates dreams. I'm really focused on the wavy one the second one from the bottom. I don't know why. Although it does kind of remind me when you like put a song together and you see the waves of the sounds. Also in the nine of swords on the bed there's another woman who looks like she has a bridal dress on lol. It's clearly princess bubble gum but it looks like yeah so I'm sorry but I definitely think there's a wedding coming up for him. It would be weird to be that focused on a friend's wedding unless it's like your best friend or you're going to be in it or you're worried about whether you're going to get out in time to make it to the wedding. But somebody's getting married 

Jimin

Okay for Jimin. We have the sun which can indicate Leo timing or Leo signs and we have Divinity. Kind of interesting already because flame princess is a royal person and people used to think that being royal was a divine right or divinely given. Despite there being a moon in the divinity card I also get the sense that it could just as easily be the Sun instead of the moon here. Or it's just a mix of the sun and the moon meaning feminine and masculine energies happening at the same time. Because the divinity card would definitely make me think of high priestess right which is a very feminine energy and in the sun is that powerful masculine energy. So there's like a balance theme happening here. 

More about the divinity card. So the intention says embrace your soul and true self. You are filled with the ability, strength, and knowledge you need to navigate your life's path. It's interesting that it says strength which is the other leo card. So I think clarity and bravery and being bold and getting out there or bringing something into the light could be a part of this. This could be more about the balance of those energies. If we're talking about the high priestess which usually means secret and we have a card about clarity, there could be a revelation of some sort that's happening for him or about him or will happen to him. It's such a nice balance of energy lol. Because there's such a softness and empress vibe and high priestess vibe rolled into this divinity card. It's very soft and elegant and then you have this powerful loud sun card. And flame princess is focusing on this crown and this particular red jewel but she's also not wearing it on her head. We see that there is red prominent on both cards. There's also a little bit of yellow and then a bit of green but I'm mostly seeing red which is the root chakra. Yellow would be solar plexus green would be heart.

I'm also wondering if he's kind of in the mood to dye his hair red lol. Or like he was just talking about what color will I dye my hair when I see you again and I'm wondering if right now he has an idea in his head that it will be red. Or is he like I'm between red and blonde because we see yellow here too. Another line associated with the divinity card is never forget that you have the spark of divine in you. Whatever you do or don't do won't change this fact. And the keywords are wise, sacred, deity. I kind of feel like both cards are talking about a deity or a god or the divine or fate or whatever you want to call it. Spiritual wisdom. He always has very spiritual cards and more often than not I typically get cards for him that are like the sun, the moon, death. Like with other members I tend to also get a seven card with him at some point. 

The number for the Sun card is 19 or 1 and 9 or 10. So any of those numbers could be significant in some way. More about the card it says you are quite surely a goddess with extraordinary powers and in other worldly realm. Hold yourself to the highest standard of exquisite excellence. You are walking on this earth to make the difference that was intended for you to achieve. Stand tall on the highest mountain. This line is interesting. Once you reach the apex, you will discover the entire spectrum of the rainbow waiting just for you. It's weird because I think that the universe has special intentions for him which can probably create a lot of tough burdens and challenges and lessons for that type of person. There's a lot of focus on embracing who you are and you know embracing the feminine aspects and the beautiful aspects and the graceful aspects. So the card is really encouraging the feminine traits or skills or talents of his personality and even of his physical looks. 

But then like you see this other card that definitely represents all those masculine traits. I'm not necessarily seeing a conflict. I'm pretty sure that he's mostly resolved a lot of the issues he used to have about what it means to be masculine versus can I accept these feminine aspects of myself and how will these be perceived. I kind of thought that would come up again going into a place like the military where you can't paint your nails, you can't wear makeup, you can't dye your hair, and I thought he was maybe worried about what he would look like without his hair and not being able to present himself as an idol. I don't see conflict here maybe if I clarified. I see someone embracing both sides. I feel like sometimes the fandom misrepresents him and it's interesting because everything he stands for is in contradiction with what the fandom likes to do to him. 

Because he is sometimes seen as “slighter” physically or because he did contemporary or ballet or because he has that feminine type of face that's very beautiful and artistic or he wears jewelry. But sometimes the fandom likes to treat him in this very heteronormative type of way where it's like okay well he's a little bit more “fem” than the other guys so that must mean that maybe he's gay or somewhere within that LGBT spectrum which is none of anybody's f****** business but anyway. But like what he has always said is that labels can be silly. There's a moment in maybe it was bon voyage the first one where he said you know what does it mean to be a man. He's always saying let men cry. 

And that's not to say he's always been that way because I remember this moment in an interview and JK was being asked what do you think about bikinis and he said something like I know all I need to know about bikinis and then jm says something like they don't even see us as men do they. And we know that at the beginning he thought he (Jm) had to be a muscle pig and ironically he's kind of switched roles with JK and JK became the muscle pig (but he doesn't seem put off by showing a fem side these days). So I don't know what's going on there with the flipping of the roles… or that both of them have kind of learned from each other about embracing both sides because I don't know if you saw the Calvin Klein cropped shirt photo but it's one of my favorite photos of jk and I think he looks amazing. Just as amazing as when he dresses in all leather and masculine fashion. But anyway my point was going to be you can't put people in a box because of your conceived notions of what you think people could be based on looks or how they act. 

So I can understand why he's also interested in both sides and you know how do I balance this and where do I fit. And I think you can have those qualities and be extremely powerful and still quite masculine in that energy. I just think he conveys both and he always has to me. I find him very beautiful in his dance and then when he puts on makeup and dresses up it's just beautiful. I don't think oh well he looks girly. And then you see him in in the soop wearing a baggy shirt and some shorts and chopping wood. Or he's got a baseball cap and a jacket and he's just like looking like any other well-dressed guy. 

What's my point? I just think it's probably always going to be a part of his life or the earlier part of his life to figure out the balance of those traits and what society tells him they mean but what he feels they mean could be completely different to that and then just balancing that within himself. I also just think he has spiritual powers lol. There's always something so sexy about him and that's probably the wrong word but it's because I just think the moon really fits him so well. But then yet it's clear that Sun is another aspect of his personality. This is a person that's meant to shine and can be bold but is quite like on the other side of it quiet and soft and elegant. Because you could look at these two figures and these cards and look at divinity with the cloak and then you look at the flame princess and it looks like that figure could be cloaked in flames but also it could be that flame princess is wearing this cloak and then she's taking it off. Maybe red is also his favorite color lol. 

So it's like somebody who is a feminine being or body or embraces that feminine energy being cloaked in a color that is a masculine energy. I also see it as somebody who's extremely passionate but it's like a quiet passion. Not that you'll never physically see his passion but it's such a strange thing to have to describe. But I'll just say it reminds me of dancing. Like specifically contemporary dancing. You have to make these fairly simple movements and portray them just using your body and emotions. And you have to do that in an elegant and sleek and slow way. And you have to contain it. It's like a contained passion right. And flame princess is also a very passionate character. And she probably had a moment too where she didn't know if she wanted to wear the crown and take over from her dad and so there has to be this choice of you know am I going to wear this crown and do this. And that could be about: do I want to wear this label do I want to openly wear a label of how I describe or see myself. But in Divinity there's a bit like it is hidden by this cloak right but then looking at this crown maybe I'm looking at the day where I don't have to hide in this cloak. I'm not trying to make this a metaphor, I'm not assuming anything about him because hiding things about yourself makes sense as a celebrity. you can hide all kinds of things especially when you have this complex about if people see parts of you that they don't like especially when you're a person you're a Libra of course and you don't want anybody to dislike you so you're afraid to show certain parts for fear of turning people away from you. 

Even if you're confident in yourself so I feel like one side of him wants to be able to show everything that he is but then there's this other part that wants to keep it hidden right to keep it secret for whatever reason. But there is hope here I think and looking at this crown keep feeling like this is somebody who's looking at something and dreaming of what could be and since it's a card about clarity it also feels like being able to live in the light and do this and be bold about it and like wear that crown. I still don't feel any conflict between the cards like I'm either this or that or I'm ashamed to live in the cloak. I just think they're two parts of him and I think he wants clarity and wants success as well. There's like quiet hungry passion for success. Yes I mean like physical success and awards and validation. Being the best, and having it to do with performance for sure. Like he gets super excited about the idea of performance and super excited about the idea of awards and winning things and being acknowledged in that way. I can also see the love of roleplay and even of costumes. Because look at how dramatic that is to be wearing that cloak and then her little warrior outfit. It almost looks like a kendo outfit though doesn't it too. 

Maybe he'll win a martial arts award while he's in the military. I also feel like maybe he'll win an award. I think I said that in his longer reading but like maybe he gets an award for a job well done for something. Oh you know and now that I look at the sun I'm starting to see Jack skellington's face in the Sun with like the stitches as the mouth and the little eyes. Anyway. There's a lot I could look at for in his cards and I feel like his cards always convey this type of feminine masculine energy with the moon and the sun. How he can be this quiet person walking through the woods but at the same time he could be this regal royal hot-blooded all in red flame princess right out in the sunlight for everyone to see. So it would make me think you know yeah he might perform wildly on stage and be very loud about it but he's also a very private person. I also wonder if there's a place he can go by the base. 

I personally think and have seen in the cards that there are a lot of mountains and I think I've already heard people say that but I wonder if there's a spot with trees that he can go to to take a walk. Even in the Sun card it looks like a barren rocky mountainous place and you have to put on this uniform. But then there's this very peaceful woods area with trees. If he doesn't have that then maybe there's some way that he can find this type of peace even at the base. Like looking at this little object like the crown can help transport him. So this could also be him on his phone when he gets to read it at night he's reading stories. Like manga or fantasy fiction novels. Or maybe putting on these costumes and going into this role as performer is also kind of like a safe space that he dreams about. 

You know since I thought his album was very cinematic in the way that the songs told stories or how visual it was or how concrete the video concepts were. I'm also seeing like okay this divinity card represents his imagination and flame princess is looking at this crown and imagining scenarios. Like if you are a writer sometimes you can imagine scenes like movies in your head so it could be him imagining himself in these different roles like being this cloaked figure and playing RPGs but also that feels tied to how he imagines songs or his love of movies. It feels very creative. Or maybe he can imagine things like paintings. Maybe he's inspired by art. There's probably just a lot of stuff about him that we don't know. I would love to have a chat with him because I find him pretty relatable. I think he's a tough cookie, I think people often underestimate him and treat him like s*** especially people in our own fandom, but this is a really strong and caring and creative and talented person that seems to also have some type of blessing from the universe. Like if he actually took up tarot and tried spiritual practices I think he would be able to do it intuitively or his power/gifts comes from his ability to interact with people and heal them oh well.

Anyway, I know that wasn't specific but I just think it's a bit of a time for him to figure out some things about himself and who he is and what he wants to show. Again, I'm not saying that the cards say he is XYZ. But the cards just say that he hides some aspects of himself, which we all do. And I think that that can be a struggle for him. But I think he has an ability to visualize very strongly and that might be why he is able to manifest certain things. I think he sees songs or scenes for songs or videos very concretely. But that also tells me that he probably visualizes things that he wants or things he hopes for the future very clearly as well. 

Do I think that any external debate from the fandom or anywhere else reaches him and still affects him in terms of that feminine versus masculine energy? I don't really think so. I doubt he pays that much attention to comments anymore or at least I hope he doesn't. Besides that aspect of feminine versus masculine, there also seems to be a layer of public versus private. However, this has gotten pretty long so cut it off here especially since they already did a longer reading for him. 

Taehyung - 

I took a couple days break before I did the last two. So tae has some interesting cards. For the tarot, there is high priestess and death. Uniquely spiritual cards, about wisdom, also about things that are somewhat secret. That's a little bit interesting because I feel like it's slightly tied into some things with Jimin. But putting that aside let's just talk about the tarot, high priestess can indicate knowledge, or secret knowledge, intuition, having to do with the moon, feminine energy. While death represents Pluto, cycles of death and rebirth, what they have in common is both cards indicate something being hidden or subconscious. So we definitely know that there is something pointing here to things that are hidden or covered or secret or quiet. So we have to look at the oracle cards, one says goddess. The other says serenity. Goddess gives me the vibes of going back to high priestess or empress even but looking at it you might also think about three of cups or even three of pentacles. Serenity kind of makes me think of hanged man. What also comes to mind is the serenity prayer, which ironically has the same sort of message about letting go of things that you can't control.

I put the Oracle box away and just kept the pictures but now I need to look up what the oracles are. Honestly I wasn't really going to post the group readings but I kind of feel inclined to after seeing that Jimin has a new album coming out. So I feel a bit excited about talking about some of these things coming up in the readings. 

To talk about serenity, the keywords are acceptance, peace, choice. The intention says make peace with your situation, unless you can and want to make a change for a better outcome. Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance. 

So before we move on to the next Oracle I'm again getting the same thing as the tarot which is I feel like he's totally embracing military life and what's happening wholeheartedly. It doesn't surprise me that this matches the energy of his letter. It's different than jins outlook about him going into the military or his general state of mind which is often you know live in the moment. But even when Jin lives in the moment It's as if he is having a reaction to the world and it's not like a genuinely carefree attitude. It's something that is practice by him and is almost like a meditation or when you have to practice a certain mindset. Whereas with Tae this feels like organically I don't give a f*** That's not putting it right because it's not like there's this rebellious thing. It's just like excitement for the unknown and what is to come and just like completely having his arms open to it and going with the flow. Which is probably something he's always done throughout life. And I think that explains some aspects of what's going on here. The secret stuff or the hidden stuff is a little bit something else. Which we might find in the last Oracle so let's see. 

Also sometimes when you get multiple secret cards it's also possible that someone doesn't want to show you something or it's unknown. So with goddess, the keywords are sacred, light, warrior. it says every stage of life lays the foundation for the next stage of life. Treasure each stage of life. And the intention says magic runs deeply through your veins, be wild and free. Awaken your soul and embrace all of your journeys around the Sun, whether they are traditional or all your own shining uniqueness. We are all warrior woman. 

Mentioning the sun when Jimin got that, I'm again maybe drawn to something connecting jm and tae in this reading. I'm not sure what that is and maybe it plays into the secret. Definitely since the goddess tends to look like three of cups and one of the women seems to be pregnant, which could be kind of like an empress vibe, you have to wonder if lol he's full of secrets. That might have to do with Jimin. There's also more moon energy because the goddess card talks about triple moon goddess. Which again makes me think of high priestess and empress. Then it says fundamentally, she is the same person entwined and wrapped into one being. Each life stage is associated with a phase of the moon. That's fascinating because literally we have death which is about life cycles and he got besides the moon card the other Moon card. The death card is a card I associate with Jimin. So again there's like some tie here in this current energy in this current reading that seems to be connecting tae and JM. I'm not entirely sure what that is or how it connects to what I said about Jimin in this reading. It could be that the things that Jm is hiding within himself or cloaking or however you want to call it, that these are things that he has recently shared with Tae. Over the phone or through a message or whatever. So that might be why they are connected a little bit. Or a lot, hard to say. I do see in the goddess card we have three people discussing things amongst themselves. I think it's like a deep conversation because we have the moon. I'm not getting three of pentacles unless there's some practicality to it but I see three people discussing something deep and important. 

The middle person seems to have a lot to say it could be because she's pregnant. They might be talking about something not just deep and emotional but having to do with the cycles like life and death or what are we going to do next in the future. My guess is they probably did have a deep conversation in the last couple of weeks. Because I'm definitely feeling strong ties at least on taes side where we're talking about secrets and cycles and maybe a little bit of abundance but that's kind of vague. We have elements of letting go of control and kind of accepting what's coming. So I think they probably shared some thoughts about life and who knows. Like I said you know with Jimin, it felt like he was reflecting on his place in the universe so it's very likely these two had some type of deep, emotional, extraordinary conversation lol. Like the kind where you are on the phone or your FaceTiming and possibly staying late into the night. I don't know how that would be possible with military or maybe they had it in the time that they were together. I think I pulled the cards for the group after the reunion. That doesn't mean I know when the timing is I'm just saying they spent time together so maybe that's possible. 

I think it also means that tae has been fairly sociable in the military. I think he is connecting easily with other people. I think that even so, I don't think he is getting super close to these people. It might be a very superficial type of relationship. I'm not sure on what deep type of level he's connecting with the people that he's meeting. But he's probably having fun. I almost wonder if he's purposely like not opening up. It might seem very much that he's being social and like talking to people but it almost feel like there's some barrier he's put up with new people that he's meeting where he presents as having fun and letting go but like inside I'm getting this feeling that he can't open up to just anybody. Unlike say a conversation he could have with Jimin. Where they have very deep conversations obviously based on years of trust and being okay to be vulnerable with each other. And I find I'm getting emotional lol that they are so deeply trusting of each other. That they probably know all kinds of secrets about one another. And definitely ride or die. I know that's very probably obvious to people. It's just interesting that I'm feeling this bond when those two are separated right now. But I don't think that that matters much when they come together. And I think that Jimin still reaches out to tae when he needs to talk and vice versa. 

I mean it also in the goddess card there is a sense of gossip as well. Like news being shared amongst the three women. Almost like you know besides having deep conversations there's this sense of urgency like oh hey I heard this thing by the way and then you call up your friend and you're like hey I heard this have you heard this is it true. I don't know what it would be about. It could be related to those deep conversations. Or it could be something separate. 

I think a lot of the feminine energy that's coming through really has to do with receiving. I think this ties in to being open to accepting whatever is coming his way. But I also think literally he's receiving things like secrets and information. This could be from people around him or it could be specifically other friends or members. Again I feel like a tie to Jimin. Jimin has shared something with him that's a secret. Probably. Again not necessarily gossip but information and secrets. Which can be hopes and dreams or fears or all kinds of things. 

I also wonder if he's a bit lonelier than he gives off. I don't doubt that he's probably making the best of what's happening and is probably genuinely enjoying these things. But I get the sense of somebody who's a bit alone. You don't get the moon coming up constantly to not have like some little bit of you that's lonesome. Do I want to say feeling misunderstood? Sort of. Not as in oh I feel so sorry for myself but more as in not always feeling like he belongs. Feeling out of place describes it better. Like imagine if you were an alien. And you looked like a human. You came to this world. You look like everybody else. But you just don't belong or that's how you interpret it anyway. I mean Tata is coming to mind but that's just how I feel right now. He might say all these fun things in a letter and it might be very convincing but I just feel like he's a little bit alone. Alone might be different than lonely. I mean it is different. 

So I feel more like the word is alone. Not lonely. Again I just keep getting more Jimin and how they must have had some conversation about life and cycles and what's next. Everything I said about Jimin and those things that he's reflecting on I just feel somehow it's tied to tae. And when I did the longer reading for Jimin, when I was talking about a friend from the past, I almost wanted to tie it to tae but it didn't make sense so I just deleted it and then I ignored it. But I wonder if some of that actually is connected to tae. If you end up reading that longer reading, it's about somebody from jimin's past coming back. I optimistically said it was about closure for both of them but given any situation it could just be somebody who feels unsettled about something that happened between themselves and Jimin. And has come back. I'm not saying if that encounter that I was reading about is either positive and harmless or like a little bit negative and concerning. I didn't look into that. I just knew that the person who felt left behind in that scenario was holding on to some negativity about being abandoned. 

So this could be somebody they both know. And there could be things going on with this person showing up again already maybe. I thought maybe they would show up in the future but it's possible that this person has already showed up. It's a person that these two know. It's just the possibility. As for whether these are the secrets being exchanged between the two. I don't know. I was feeling more like it was more about conversations regarding life. But this would also make sense for the hey did you hear about this. Maybe they had a conversation that was like hey do you remember this person from back XYZ. I heard from them and it's a little weird. I don't know. Or they're talking about rumors not sure. That would probably be a waste of their time though. But I definitely feel an exchange of some type of secret information. Only between them. Or a small group. I don't feel like it's serious or anything but I just don't really know there. 

That might go back to the serenity and conversations about you know there's nothing you can do about it. 

However looking at serenity again it says you know make peace with your situation unless you can and want to make a change for a better outcome. This reminds me of the idea of a two of wands… and you can choose a path where you don't do anything and maybe nothing happens or you can expect it to go away. Or you can take action. It says a better outcome. It does go back to reminding me of if you had an issue with somebody in the past and you can choose to ignore them or ignore it. Or if they're doing something weird with you you can actually take action and confront them and do something about it. I'm not saying that's what's happening here I'm just offering something. In the art for the serenity card it looks like a witch but she's actually a mermaid and she's sitting on the cliff with a cat familiar. When we think of this position and a mermaid usually it's somebody maybe considering well I guess in case of the Little mermaid it would be pondering if she wants to give up her tail to join the human world. So this could be about an unfulfilled wish or desire. It could be that this desire is already here and now you have a choice to make. 

The art is a little lonely or is giving me that vibe. I get the idea of again back to this conversation they're having… talking about feeling alone. And it's like I want to be able to feel like I am a part of that world lol. It's weird we're talking about this and I literally was talking about aliens. So definitely this is probably on to something. But we have somebody contemplating how they want to be part of something, but they feel kind of alienated from that even when surrounded by people or even somebody who is very good at drawing people to them. Or seeming like they are perfectly extroverted or sociable. But it's kind of like an act. I don't want to say that I think he's fake. It's coming across like somebody who's trying to find that feeling of belonging. But just can't seem to make it click. My guess is there are probably few people that tae feels absolutely himself around and I do think one of them is Jimin. 

As for his other friends that's a possibility too. I don't know enough about them to dig deep into what I'm seeing. But even in this picture we have one lonely person talking to a cat. So the cat could be one particular person like Jimin or the cat isn't anybody. Like it could be you know a dog. As in this person is feeling alone and doesn't have anybody in particular they're speaking too. I get that from the art like this is someone who is just alone and the cat isn't necessarily anybody that we know of. I also think maybe there is some acceptance and peace. Not just about being in the military. Now I'm sitting this more as someone who is accepted a feeling inside of themselves. Maybe he has accepted that he's always going to feel this way at times. Like he's always going to feel a little bit lonely or sad in any situation. I think he contemplates it more than we probably realize. I guess I want to say he might not come off seriously in content. At least that's even my perception of him. But I'm seeing somebody who does a lot of deep thinking about life. And then he has these conversations with someone like Jimin. I'm sure there are plenty of other members he converses with. But I'm just seeing Jimin at the moment. 

Let me look at the tarot cards again I have to scroll all the way to the top to see if there's any imagery I want to focus in on… I just see more of someone who is told certain information and then is left contemplating about things. And the information is shared or gathered or received among multiple people and then one person is left alone thinking. I see that with the high priestess card as well. Somebody who seems to be holding on to something. And then a death card that also signifies things that are hidden or secret and being resolute. I think he is probably a lot of people go to him to tell secrets to him because they know he won't ever say anything. So I think he knows a lot of things about a lot of people. From being directly told or other people go to him to tell him about things. I don't think he particularly gossips himself. At least not anymore unless it's still like someone like Jimin lol. As for digging into whether it has any relations to a romantic situation. I don't see anything. I remember reading for him previously and feeling strongly that there was someone. There is feminine energy around here but I really think that's about receiving things. Receiving information and being open to new experiences. Almost in an experimental way. The only relationship I see clearly has to do with Jimin. And I'm not saying that's romantic lol. I'm just saying they are closer than you will probably ever know when we already think that they're close. 

But even then there is something about tae that feels like devastatingly alone in this universe. I think some people just feel that way. If they're an old soul or they haven't found that perfect match outside of like maybe a platonic soul mate. Which is great too but like not that one single person that you would expect to be a romantic match. That might just like make you feel like oh I'm not alone. I think that sounding a lot bleaker than it is but I do I just get the sense of feeling like an alien. All the time. Everywhere. And then brief times of closeness with people close to him. He might have also come across some life wisdom. To me it feels more self-developed and not somebody came and told him some advice on how to live life. I mean I guess that's possible given that somebody in the cards looks like they're talking about information amongst each other and then somebody's contemplating right. but overall it still feels like it's self-made wisdom. But yeah it almost feels like somebody came and told him something and then you had to go have a think about it. 

Granted it could be vice versa and it's like contemplating about something and then going to talk to friends about it. But it's a secret lol. It's a secret in the sense that sure maybe it's not meant for us. If it wasn't meant for me to read it wouldn't show up in the cards. So I'm saying the information is meant to stay only among the couple of people that he's speaking to about it. It could be that he's actually depressed. I'm not seeing tons of that. But it could be like you know I'm a little sad. I'm a little lonely sometimes even when I'm around people. This could be a theme that he's felt throughout his life. It is a little sad. It actually reminds me of the little Prince. I know we associate that with Jimin. But I am getting somebody who's dressed up like the little Prince and sitting on the planet and maybe he has the little rose to talk to. But even when he's talking to the Rose it's like the rose doesn't really get it. Like the rose just can't human. So it's still really lonely. 

I mean beyond that it seems like he's okay. Given times. Well you could say something like oh between cancer season and Scorpio season perhaps this information or this feeling of being alone could be happening then. I'm more inclined to read something related to the moon in Scorpio. That definitely would be a time about feeling things deeply or being deeply introspective. It could be about a timing thing. I'm not sure when the next moon in Scorpio is. I'm not sure what his moon is. But there's a lot of deep reflecting and receiving information. This information could be coming from people or it could be coming like from the universe. In terms of like sudden thoughts and moods coming to him to contemplate about life and cycles and stages of life. But there's definitely secrets in hidden things involved. That might be the barrier for me not to see exactly what is being talked about and that's fine. Oh lol apparently the moon is in Scorpio right now. That's weird. So again this is a conversation that probably recently happened or just happened is happening now. Again they were together recently so that's probably a good time to have a longer deeper conversation. 

I mean it would also just reflect that I'm doing the reading right now lol. So this is about current energy. 

What else can I say. Both cards are about water energy. There's the moon and there's Pluto. I mean both bodies here represent cycles and phases. Things that are hidden, emotions. So definitely a lot of strong emotions that are either buried underneath or hopefully something that he talked about recently to somebody. I do feel that that has to be the case given what the one card looks like. But that card is also a lot about phases. It just seems interesting that he and Jimin both have similar things on their mind at the moment. Which maybe they always exist on each other's wavelengths somehow. Just like how women sometimes cycle up on their periods who knows. So yeah I think you know if they could talk and have a live in the next few weeks they would say something like oh when we met up for the reunion Tae and Jimin had a long conversation about life and changes. 

Again secret feelings or sharing secrets with one another. But I think a lot of that is also about the things that he hides. From a lot of people. And maybe it's simply about how lonely he feels. I don't know what to do about that. I kind of feel for him. I don't think he gets depressed when he is away from the people he can talk to. I think he just endures. You know how some people feel lonely and they just feel so sorry for themselves or they think they just can't find a match. But he just…can't seem to find people to relate to and doesn't try to fake it. And I'm saying this isn't always surface stuff this is something he probably hides but it's not like he's not aware. He just hides it and this is a lot how he feels on the inside. 

I felt a bit focused on the flag on the death card but I don't really know what that means. Plus I can't see it very well in the photo because I'm pretty blind. 

So I think that pretty much covers everything I see for right now. It could change in a month you know. So let's move on 

Jungkook 

10 of cups and abundance. I mean what can you say. On the surface that certainly looks like emotional happiness and abundance of love. Being around family. This could be at this particular moment when I did the cards which was around the reunion they could have been celebrating and having a great time. And he could have just been vibing. Not that there's anything wrong with being happy lol. There are times when I have read his cards in the last 6 months and it looked like he was having a good time. Ironically it was around the time when there was like a military game that they were doing. And I got the sense that he was enjoying himself during that? Or at least that time. I don't know if he participated in the games but there was like cards I had that involved fun or playtime and being in the mountains and it just felt fine. So let me look up that Oracle card for abundance. He's just happy or he's something else. Like there's not a lot of thought happening there. That didn't sound right lol. So again 10 of cups, this is as good as you can get. If it were a relationship it would be super happy and ecstatic. It can also be a card about family. Blood or otherwise. I mean if I wasn't trying to look too deeply I'd be like yep looks happy. Looks like he has an abundance of happiness. Why question? 

So looking at the abundance card you have a witch and two cats. It almost looks like one cat has its nipples pierced lol. That's just kind of funny. The witch is holding a basket of again I can't see anything but maybe it's like a basket of the moon and stars. If that's not it then it's just apples but that would make sense since they're growing on the trees. I don't know. So we have a sense of stars and moons. There's another phase connection here. Stars usually represent wishes or goals. There seems to be two other cats. So again maybe there was a conversation among the three youngest of BTS recently. I am not sure on that so it's just interesting there are three and I keep getting this idea of phases. So it says abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. The key words are harvest, grateful, overflowing. The intention says count your blessings, goodness prevails. Your life is full and you have all you need. 

I didn't do this for the others but I'm going to go ahead and read the whole page for this. Delve deeply into your life…past, present, and future. Take into account even the smallest gifts that have been bestowed on you. As humans, we sometimes forget that the simplest blessings are often the most important and meaningful. We think we will always have them. Life is fragile and can change in one second. Begin this very moment showing the universe appreciation. The sun has risen another day. Again the sun being mentioned here. Continuing on it's warm rays offer you comfort as they wrap around you. The moon hovers above, glowing in the night sky. Her dim light casts dancing shadows allowing you to dream. That sounds like stars and goals and stuff. These are just two examples of miracles in themselves. Simply say thank you to the universe.

We can talk about the tarot. We have Jake and Lady rainicorn. This certainly would indicate potentially romantic love. I mean they are husband and wife so it could also be a familial love. It could be that he was literally meeting up with family as well. This could be BTS or literal family and just having a good time. There's the potential that there was also a romantic meetup of some kind or an abundance of a romantic type of love happening. The rainbow kind of makes me lean toward love actually. It could mean other things lol like celebrating pride month. A rainbow has seven colors. So I think maybe it was just a real appreciation for that moment that he got to spend with BTS. 

I don't think there's much to read into his cards. Like I'd love to read in and maybe it had some insight into the military life. I don't think from his letter that he's having a super amazing blast all the time. So I think in this one moment that I shuffled his cards, he was having a good time. It could also be the universe's way of saying you know you don't really have anything to complain about. That you have everything you need, that you have a lot right now. That might be something he realizes that he doesn't want for anything. I just see the card saying this is somebody with a lot to be thankful for. Especially when it comes to people who care about him. I wonder if he got spoiled a little bit during this reunion. Let me just like since I actually have the Oracle cards around shuffle one more. And just get an extra vibe check for him not like I'm trying to be like okay it's suspicious that he's this happy and fulfilled. If I were in the military would I feel that way? But it doesn't matter because it's about in the moment what was he feeling when I shuffled the cards. So I got three cards. 

We have unity so again I'm kind of sensing a reunion there. We have nurture which has a picture of somebody by the fire with all of these little pet companions. And we have soulful that has an owl that looks like a baby owl on the branches and then there's a little be above it or wasp not sure. The owl makes me think of him. Lol it has these big eyes and it looks like a baby owl. I don't know what the b or wasp represents. This owl is so cute lol. It really does look just like him. I kind of feel like this baby owl is maybe watching the witches in this unity circle. It's 8 which is joined hands in a circle under the moon. And then you have this lovely cozy image of the witch reading a book around the fireplace. So yeah it feels like a family or cozy together and the little owl is kind of taking it in with wonder and appreciating it. And I think that makes sense for the tarot cards right. Around all these people and having a good time and feeling comforted and loved and cared for. So whatever was happening in that moment for him it was a very good feeling. I should probably take a picture so you can see how f****** cute this owl is

So I don't know where he was. But it looks like there was a party, there was this feeling that reminds me of in bon voyage 4. When they played the card games and they were listening to their old music and started dancing around. Like when they listened to their old songs and then JK heard his part with his young self rapping and then he like danced around out of embarrassment and it was so cute…. Yeah so probably not in the military at this moment. Probably just taking it in. Trying to ingrain the image of whatever happened into his mind so that when he's alone he can remember it. I'm still really curious about this little wasp/beathing. A hornet? Maybe I should look up what that means as a spirit animal. Well a hornet is about tenacity and determination. That doesn't really fit the image so maybe it's just a bee. And it's about honey and something sweet. It could be about being stung about something. It could be that he was buzzed at the moment lol. It could represent somebody on his mind in particular. Now I have to look it up to see what the hell this card says about the bee. Okay creepy I turned right to the page. It says happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. That's interesting since he had the ten of cups. 

It says feeling, depth, journey is the keywords. The intention is let your magical light glow around you. Soft stardust will dance like fireflies and the wondrous Twilight sky. Interesting again because that's what looks like is happening in the unity card. So maybe they got together and they were singing and dancing. Movie there was a fireplace or they were in somebody's house or had rented a house that was very cozy and maybe even near the woods. It just feels like a really cozy and nice atmosphere. And it was like kind of like balm to the soul maybe. Like a honey. I want to also read this card for you. 

Since I obviously feel most drawn to this card. Your soul is the spiritual part of your being. Look closely into the mirror of your innermost existence and you will find your deepest, Ross, most authentic thoughts and feelings. Each memory and experience that is part of your soul is safely tucked away inside of you. Light the sparks in your soul. Be carefree. Let your colors dance wildly around you. This kind of looks like the ten of cups card by the way. As in like dancing around and being carefree. Let your colors dance wildly around you. Dig deep and your garden will flourish and bloom and Leslie. Your own sole journey is very personal. Protect your internal soulful powers. You are the keeper of them. Remember, you are a wondrous soulful being who knows you best of all

And almost immediately the one song started playing in my head. Like who are you You're not the girl I fell in love with. Anyway yeah. 

I'm just so curious about this stupid little bee it didn't get explained in the car did it. Let me pull one more card and be like okay what is the deal with this b. 

Ironically I got the card balance. Isn't that crazy how you're like what's the deal with this b which voice to text refuses to say b e e. So we're definitely going to rebalance. It's just a card with trees at the bottom and then the moon and there's like this branch coming in that looks like it's covering the moon. So let's look at balance real quick especially since we have a confirmed b.

Of course be is also an album. So I think we are again confirming that maybe when BTS got together they were singing some of their old songs. Or even watching old videos where they sing or whatever. 

Okay so keywords for balance, then, being, namaste. The intention says find your happy medium, take care of your mind, body and spirit. Find yours in explore your being strive to create balance. The other part says self-care is, fundamentally, about bringing balance back to a life that has grown imbalance from too many commitments or responsibilities. Well that's interesting right. So I think he must have had this moment during the reunion probably where he spent time with the group and it was a very healing moment. They probably danced and shared stories and had a good old time and it made him feel like he was having fun and it was a really nice cozy warm feeling for him. That's it. I don't think there's more to read in that moment other than we have put to catch a glimpse of him having really nice time with the group of people. And it made him feel in balance after moments of probably not feeling quite like himself or feeling out of balance. And I still don't fully know what to bee was about besides leading us to another card. I guess it also looks like a shrimp lol. Maybe he was just really hungry for shrimp at but the time.

I don't really see anything else for him. You can't argue with abundance in 10 of cups. 

It's not much to go on but in terms of dates, the 10th could be a significant date for JK. That doesn't really narrow it down. Or the month of October can be significant for him as well. We just have in terms of numbers 1 or 10 to go on. So something about the self or something about completion or something about a cycle. That's sort of vague so I would just assume that we're close to the end of a cycle. Is it time for a full moon? Did we just have one. I don't remember but usually you start saying tens around the time that it would be a full moon. But again 10 of cups emotional abundance, literal abundance Oracle card. Yeah. Pretty good cards to get. Maybe he'll receive something in October in terms of abundance. Like whether it's emotional abundance or like a ten of pentacles abundance. 

Or something about the number 10 it will be significant in terms of abundance. I don't know but like for example putting out a song or album called 10 or getting 10 on the billboard or releasing something on the 10th or releasing something in October.. if it were a song, it would be a dance track I think. Like electronic dance music or trap music Wait is that the right thing I want to say. So maybe after jm releases music in July you might see more music from JK in October. That's just a guess. I guess besides having some electronic music happening, there could be like soulful music or slower music. Something that would be comforting and quiet. Maybe you'll see like a b or a hornet or something on the jacket cover I don't know. Or maybe the album title will start with b. Or song that starts with b. Or he's wearing a yellow jacket lol. Or it's about the 10th track on an album. Which would be surprising since none of them seem to have more than a handful of tracks. Or maybe if you go back and look at Golden whatever the 10th track was.

In case you're wondering, it's shot glass of tears so maybe that's relevant. Maybe that's a mood. There you go!

Okay wait I went to look at the song lyrics. And besides mentioning the Sun, I was drawn to the 42 and body because first of all I was like what the hell does that mean. I didn't listen to Golden a lot. I love standing next to you but the rest of the songs I couldn't really relate to I'll say. Though I think I remember shot glass full of tears and it was fine. So I found this I don't know if that song was written by somebody British or not 

I love interesting since we were actually talking about 10. But supposedly yeah okay someone on Twitter was like oh it's about hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy. I'm reading more like this is probably what it meant but like slang that most of us don't know. I'm American. I have never heard anybody say this. And I don't watch Love Island. 

So it's saying that yeah whatever her body is perfect or something. A 10. But also I think it's still stands about the number 42, which the other side of it is yes related to hitchhikers. And then there's this thing about how 42 is the ultimate answer to whatever ultimate question but nobody knows what the actual question is. This has been like a running thing through a lot of entertainment stuff. If you ever watched the old show X-Files. Mulders apartment number was 42 based on this. Point being that yes it does represent the mysteries of the universe. So I think it's a mix of all of that. You're probably like WTF but I mean related to his cars there's something about an ideal or something feeling or saving perfect in this moment. There's also a sense of maybe serendipity. Something coming together. Something the universe has put together serendipitously that feels perfect, that feels like a 10. 

[yannaryartside]

THE MEANING OF THE FORKS IN "THE BEAR"

Like many things on this show, the forks have a literal and symbolic meaning inside the Berzatto family and for Richie. 

Richie spent many days staring at them, superficially cleaning them like he didn't want to touch them for too long. What he literally thinks about the forks is that taking care of them is not useful, not the worthy purpose he has been looking for, which is contrasted to Olivia Coleman's character at the end of the episode, spending time pealing some tiny potatoes, something that you would think is a waste of time for somebody as high in the chain of command as her, (doesn't she have already a bigger purpose?) and what does she say? "I think time spent on this is time well spent" Richie learns that every step in the process deserves care, every person in the chain of command has a purpose, and that purpose deserves respect; that's the reason he becomes the rock that many people end up relying on, as part of his role as general manager. 

Now, the symbolic meaning. I think the forks represent negative responses to trauma, the most visible effect of a wound, but sometimes so polarly opposite of what the person really feels. The dinner madness begins when Mickey, upset, insulted, and drugged, decides to throw a fork at Lee (after Donna does the same). Mickey then goes asking for forks and no other utensil, not a knife, because the intention of the hurtful comments in the whole family dynamic is never to kill or seriously hurt people, just to pinch; it's inoffensive enough to keep the family for actually erupting and falling apart, but damaging enough to leave scars if applied with pressure, enough so the people in trauma can feel they are saying something they actually mean. Lee's comments on Micke's failures, Micke's comments on Lees's failures, Donna giving Nat shit about the sugar incident (still), Carmy's admitting how abandoned he feels, why he didn't want to come home, just to be shut down and demanded to show affection so they can continue being a family. It is a symbol of "not so passive" aggression. 

Forks have the same meaning for Carmy and Richie, at least on a subconscious level, but they have different approaches to it.

Let's start with Carmy. The last thing Carmy looks at in Fishes is the fork stuck in the food, the symbol of care in their family, stabbed by aggression, a fracture so big it cannot be ignored anymore, pushed away or hidden under the intention to love. He just had a terrifying moment with his mom ("Do we have a problem"?). Now he is just staring at the fork with that dead look in his eyes that we see every time he almost burns his house or the restaurant down. Carmy is terrified of forks, so he didn't order more than the other utensils, even if it makes sense logistically; too many forks are dangerous. 

Richie didn't want to spend too much time touching and handling the forks (the trauma, the "mild" aggression, the behavior he learned from Mickey). Still, once he spent enough time with them (for the narrative), he was promoted to service people (hospitality). And that is the role he plays at the restaurant; he handles Carmy being trapped (the result of his decisions based on trauma), and they buy more forks because, under Richie's orientation, they don't have destructive power anymore. His ultimate purpose. After all, he can "handle them." All of this is proved when he is actually able to point to Carmy what is wrong with him; he is the only one, as a person that was closed enough with the family to see all that violence happening, but not an actual Berzatto, so he can see the aggression/trauma for what really is. His assigned growth duty was to "clean" the forks, acknowledge them, and take responsibility for them, not run away from them as Carmy did. Richi had also grown from the phase of his life when he was condemned by the necessity to fit in the Berzatto family, basically coping with his personality from Mickey, so when Carmy starts trowing forks (insults) at him while he is stuck in the freezer, Richi doesn't need (really) to trow forks back at him, he responded "I love you" which is the answer a responsible parent should give when their kids react a certain way when their necessities are not meet. He is breaking the cycle of violence and the perpetuation of trauma. Richie still calls Carmy on his bullshit, saying that if Carmy keeps running away from his pain, he will end with fucking nothing because Mickey ended up dead for doing the same. Richie is the support that Carmy dreamed his brother would give him. I am gonna cry into a corner.

Like he literally was replacing Michael in the "new" holy trinity of Berzatto siblings. He was, to some extent, raised by Donna "My best friend's ma was like my ma."

So much love already from the people in this fandom. Again, thank you for reading, reblogging, and adding commentary or just commenting. This show has so many details you can never see the whole picture, and everything makes sense. Thank you for your warm welcome.

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E15: Lazarus

Case: Scully's ex-boyfriend (and ex-professor, which is a bit of a theme for our girl, as we'll learn later on), Jack gets a tip on a bank robber case he's been working day and night on. Scully helps him set up a sting operation to catch the robbers, but in the process, Jack and the robber—Warren Dupre—both get shot. At the hospital, they flatline at the same time, except that, due to Scully's stubborn insistence, Jack is resuscitated. Or, at least that's what everyone thinks. Well, I say everyone. Mulder, unsurprisingly, is the only one who suspects that something soul-switchy might have happened when Jack and Dupre were in the ER together, but that's an especially difficult one to convince your skeptic partner of, so instead he just heads a manhunt to search for said skeptic partner, after her good friend definitely-Jack holds her hostage as he attempts to reconnect with his/Dupre's beloved ("beloved") wife. (If it sounds confusing, that's just because it is.) Scully desperately wants Jack to remember going ice fishing with her, Jack desperately wants Scully to stop calling him Jack, that one agent wants everyone to stop being so mean to Spooky (so valid, king), and I want the FBI to stop spending so much money on sound equipment so that they can buy fucking whiteboard markers that don't sound like the noise equivalent of pulling a dry tampon out of your vagina.

Does someone die in the cold open: Y-yes? I mean, kind of? Ig? Technically parts of both of them die AND survive. :/

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Nah, Mulder's not a part of the overarching case, just the manhunt to find Scully, so no PowerPoint prezzies today.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: I... don't know how to answer that. I think it's like Beyond the Sea, where the case evidence is there, but there is no evidence of any supernatural occurrence bc the person experiencing the alleged supernatural occurrence is gonezo by the end.

Whodunit: Lulu and Warren Dupre, and Jack/Dupre in Jack's body commits a few felonies as well.

Convictions: Everyone's dead, but there would have been a trial if they hadn't been.

Did they solve it: I mean, yes? I'm hesitant to give this to them bc technically it wasn't even Mulder and Scully's case, but since they both did do work on it, and bc they have so few wins in life just sort of in general, they can have Lazarus.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Knowing the medical needs of the body you're possessing.

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*This ad was paid for by the Responsible Possession Organization (RePO)

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 7 (streak (reluctantly) restarted)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me" Phone Calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5 (kind of want to do a stat for how often she is kidnapped and/or tied up, bc i can think of four more right off the bat, but ig i'll just count them as mortal danger)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 7 (mulder was sort of bitchy all episode bc scully refused to believe him when he said that her ex-boyfriend was being possessed by a dead bank robber. i don't know why she wasn't immediately swayed)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2 (she made the medical call to continue with the resuscitation, so she gets a point)

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 5

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 4 ½ (as far as i can tell, this all happened in D.C./Maryland? someone tell me if i'm wrong)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2

[donnerpartyofone]

I once found myself foolishly complaining to my old therapist about some deeply unsatisfying exchange I had on tumblr with somebody who had willfully misconstrued what I said and was going after me about what they decided I meant, just because that was what they would rather talk about. You know, the usual. My therapist threw me off my game by just asking my why I post here to begin with, instead of indulging my desire to passionately bitch and moan. She seemed very skeptical about whatever I said, I had the idea that she wanted me to admit that I was either looking for a fight, or attention, or validation from a bad source where I am destined to encounter a lot of friction. (Man o man, if only she knew about the absolutely bonkers and irrational "you are valid" culture we have here...) And I mean, she's right, you ARE destined to encounter a lot of friction on tumblr if you do anything remotely personal with it, but somehow that annoyance can be outweighed by

a) the internal satisfaction of putting your thoughts in order

b) the catharsis of venting, even into the void

c) the small but unignorable possibility that someone will deeply understand what you said, or have something relevant and provocative to add based on their own unique and valuable experience/expertise.

I think about turning off replies all the time now, quite a lot of the time there's someone being rude either on purpose or inadvertently, because they're too obtuse or thoughtless to consider the implications or real usefulness of what they are saying. Sometimes I think about turning off reblogs on everything too, and I'm trying to develop the habit of stopping before I post to ask myself, every single time, how I'm going to feel when some total cretin reblogs something that is obviously either not universally applicable (e.g. just personal in-the-moment venting) or actually not their business (discussion of personal tragedy that you'd think people would have the good sense to leave alone, like just let strangers who need to talk about something do so in peace?). All of these things have happened more and more lately, and I think what would be really great for me is if I developed a much tougher hide, if I developed a mental baleen that filters out all the shit I don't need to care about and lets in all the tasty, nutritious stuff that I'm actually here for, that I like so much that it makes all the chaff totally worth it.

My problem is that I don't have that natural thing that tells you what incoming stimulus is relevant and what you can completely ignore, I'm curious about EVERYTHING especially how other people think and behave. When I hear something insulting or idiotic directed at me I immediately start processing it like it's a mystery that it is my duty to unravel, instead of casually throwing it in the trash like I should. This morning I posted about how I was reminded of a personal tragedy by some stupid thing a business did to me, and I get this complete stranger unloading his own version of that tragedy, only to then condemn me morally for my interaction with the business. Like does he think I'm going to be so humbled by his "direct action" that it's going to change the world? What was the goal besides picking a fight before the sun is all the way up in the sky? Yesterday I posted links to a bunch of film scholarship I published along with some new blu ray releases, literally calling it my life's work, and somebody reblogged it and put in the tags that they don't like one of the movies and they don't know what the other two are. So...what was the point here? Are you planning on buying two expensive collector's editions of movies you don't know by a director you don't like? I mean thanks for promoting my work, I guess if the price of your sponsorship is that you say rude, pointless things that don't mean anything to anyone, then I'll take it? It might have a positive impact on my mental health if I turned off replies and reblogs universally, but then I wouldn't get to hear from any of the smart and nice guys I've met on here who have opened my eyes to all sorts of things. So yeah my Christmas wish or New Year's resolution or whatever is to give a shit much, much more selectively, for the rest of my life.

PS Regarding disagreements on the internet: There is an important qualitative difference between someone saying something you find disagreeable on their own blog, which you don't even have to be aware of if you don't want to, and someone going out of their away to like cross into your yard to start a fight about what's on your blog ~as if~ you had called them on the phone and said it directly to them personally. Most of what you see on the internet doesn't require your input at all, if you don't really have anything to add except your own emotional content. The difference: Learn it, know it, live it!

[morlock-holmes]

Something I keep circling around and not quite finding a way to express is that, in contemporary times, the question, "Why does it matter what happens to me, specifically?" is getting harder and harder to answer.

In fact, let's go broader, the question, "Why does it matter what happens to any specific person, object, or idea?" is getting harder to answer.

And in my mind I keep getting sucked into the related idea that modern relationships are highly contingent.

But I don't think that's really quite the nub of the issue.

Something I've thought about in history is how violent monarchies were. The king is always going to be the king, so if he's your political enemy or if he's stupid or tyrannical the only way to solve the problem is to just kill the guy.

King Charles is the King because he's the son of the previous monarch. The "because" in that previous sentence is *not* the same as the "because" in the sentence, "I have a job because I perform the duties well and help the company make money."

Charles, or some medieval monarch, has a Kingship that is in some sense contingent; if he does a bad enough job there might be a revolution or a coup.

But the Kingship cannot be severed from the person; the King's relationship to Kingship is permanent and is a feature of that specific person.

And as a result of that feudal societies take a tremendous amount of interest in what happens to the king.

My relationship to my job, on the other hand, is severable. It is necessary that the company I work for have somebody perform the duties of my job; but it is in a position to treat me as fungible with all other equally skilled workers.

Should I, say, stop showing up to work, they don't have to kill me and all my male heirs, they can just fire me.

What happens to me, specifically, me, Morlock-Holmes, not my demographic, not my country, not people in my religion, but what happens to me, specifically, as an individual, only matters for as long as I can justify it mattering in economic terms.

It has occurred to me that I have not defined what it means for something to "Matter" but in this case it means something like, "Society takes a tangible interest in expending resources to create a certain outcome."

So, like, Market relationships are extremely contingent in certain ways but too much instability is undesirable so there is also a bureacratic system to make things less contingent in one meaning of that term. E.g. we don't have to murder our inept leaders anymore because we have processes to remove them. And it's hard to have a market if I can just shoot you and take your stuff without consequence.

But what both the market and the bureacratic state devalue is the idea that I specifically matter; both tend to treat me as a type. I can get a job if a company can buy my labor for less money than I make for them. I can get food stamps if my income is under a certain level. If I don't meet those thresholds I don't get that stuff, but if I don't apply for a job I don't get it either. If I don't apply for food stamps nobody will particularly notice that I'm going hungry.

What happens to me is important only in so far as I meet certain requirements, and to the extent that I don't meet them there is no particular reason to take any notice of me at all.

[the-autistic-duck-fan]

Analysis number two and we're doing Journey Beyond Sodor, a movie I saw pretty recently, so I wanna get my thoughts out before they fade from my mind. (I swear I'll do season 2 after this). I will say, overall, I had a lot of fun with this movie. No, it's not perfect, but I liked it enough to actually purchase it so I can watch it over and over again. More beneath the cut since this post might get a bit long.

So, first of all, I love James in this movie. He has the vibe of an obnoxious older brother in this movie and I'm living for it. He's just petty and a jerk and I enjoy it. He also has a bit of an arc as he does go to help Thomas in the end and for the most part stays focused on that goal, even if he initially had selfish reasons for doing so. As a long term James lover, I was very pleased with his characterization in this special.

So, let's talk about characters introduced in this movie. First we have the three experimental engines, Lexi, Theo, and Merlin. I fully enjoyed these three. They're so quirky and I couldn't help but enjoy them (seems to be a pattern with this analysis so far). Lexi is very enthusiastic, despite her belief she can't do anything. I can kinda relate sometimes. Theo is also someone I can relate to, being nervous and jittery but also trying to be kind. According to his wiki entry he was intended to be autistic coded, which I think is kinda cool. Merlin is also just so enthusiastic but clearly a little bit...well, special, seeing as he thinks he can turn invisible by letting off steam and closing his eyes. But I love his sincerity and adventurous spirit. Overall the experimentals are a strange little found family of imperfect individuals and I love them.

Lastly, we have Hurricane and Frankie. I can't explain it, but I really like Hurricane. I'm kind of a sucker for villains whose hearts aren't really in it. While he goes along with Frankie, I feel like he's genuinely nice in some places, like saving Thomas from melting and risking himself, just sort of held back by the engine he associates with. Speaking of her, I did not like Frankie. I mean, she's a good antagonist, but she reminds me of my grandma (an awful person, I'm sure you can guess), who pulls a lot of similar stuff to her. Overall I didn't like her and I wasn't sure she really deserved the redemption she got.

Characters aside, I also enjoy the plot. It feels pretty well paced for the most part except for a few spots where things felt slightly rushed, but they did have to squeeze things into an hour and twelve minutes. Overall, things felt varied and the adventure was fun. I actually expected the experimentals to show up and never be seen again, but they came back towards the end, which I was happy about.

Also the song numbers are very enjoyable. 'Somebody Has to Be the Favorite' had me grinning like an idiot the second it started. Beresford's back and forth number with Thomas was also enjoyable and I liked how Thomas tricked Beresford at the end (it made me wish CGI Thomas was a bit more cheeky sometimes as he's more nicey nice in the stuff I've seen). 'Hottest Place in Town' has been stuck in my head for days and I really like Frankie and Hurricane's singing voices. Side note I love that they repeat it when James shows up at the steelworks but he's not buying it. Thomas' song about wanting to go home was probably the least noteworthy and I don't like his singing voice that much. 'We Can't Do Anything' was a fun number that made me think the experimentals were stuck between the depression and acceptance stages of the grieving process, though it was a little long. 'The Most Important Thing is Being Friends' is my least favorite, but it's not bad and wraps up the film pretty well (plus I like Henry's joke of 'what did I miss?' at the tail end after him being gone through the whole movie).

So let's talk a bit about things I didn't enjoy as much. First of all, Thomas' voice is a bit irritating to me, though that isn't exclusive to this movie, it's a problem I have with other parts of CGI Thomas. It's especially noticeable when he sings as I alluded to above. Another thing is something I touched on a bit earlier, I didn't like that Frankie got a redemption arc. Well, it's not even an arc. It just happens. It felt a little too fast after everything she did and I don't think we really saw a redeeming side to her. I understand that it's a kid's film and they want to give it a good ending, but still, it bugs me just a bit. Though what I like about this special is enough to counteract these for me.

Journey Beyond Sodor was one of the first pieces of CGI Thomas I saw and I'm glad it was cause it gave me some optimism and the hope that made me look for the good in CGI Thomas. I thoroughly enjoyed this special, even if it's imperfect. Sorry if this seems all over the place, I'm still finding how I wanna do these and this was more rapid fire thoughts than anything.

[creepykuroneko]

Controversial take:

If you want to be happy in life you are going to have to put in the work and effort.

(US Centric rant coming up)

Want to have fulfilling meaningful relationships (both platonic and romantic)? You are going to have to put in the effort to be the type of person who attracts the people you want / need in your life.

Want to feel better about yourself? You're going to have to deal with your issues. If you're an American like I am I know our healthcare fucken sucks and I'm sorry. That does not mean you should sit around doing nothing though. Find healthy and safe coping mechanisms to deal with your shit. Let the people who care about you know what's going on and don't be afraid to ask for help. At the same time do not take advantage of people who are helping you. Find something that makes you happy without bringing harm to you or others in the process.

If you have the physical capabilities learn a new skill. Watch YouTube tutorials, check out hobby books from the library, join a local group that does something you're interested in and go from there. You do not have to be an expert in any field but there is no harm in taking up a hobby that brings you joy.

Before any of you go, "I'm poor how am I supposed to do any of this?" Shut up and listen. Yeah being poor sucks, as someone who has been evicted I know exactly how much it fucken sucks. As already mentioned the library is free. Do you own a smartphone? Do you have reliable consistent access to the internet? Congratulations you can learn some new skills and get advice on how to start a new hobby! Use a search engine, watch tutorial videos, find an online discussion group and go from there. There are apps such as buy nothing that try to help people who are wanting to clear out items they no longer need. You can trade items with other users in your area so no one is spending money and curbing that carbon footprint. If you live in a city check to see what type of community programs are going on. Whether it be a food pantry, a trade and barter system, or people who just need some basic help around the house and are willing to pay somebody to help with chores. Obviously be safe and practice common sense.

If you're still worried about money obviously yeah shits expensive and unfortunately that's not going away anytime soon. Check yard sales for inexpensive items. You can usually find cheap yarn for crochet and dishware. If you live in an area that has dollar stores you can usually find really cheap kitchen utensils and some pots. The more you socialize with people, the bigger a community you have around you, it's not hard to find someone who wants to get rid of a tv, kitchen table set, or old guitar for cheap if not free. I have two modern flat screen HDTVs that I didn't even have to pay for because I helped people who were moving and didn't want to bother taking the TV with them. Really controversial money saving tip here that people hate, look at your spending habits and ask yourself if there's something you can cut back on? I know all of you are going to get mad and scream "I'm poor all my money goes to my bills I have nothing!" Most of you I'm sure are telling the truth there. Some of you though? How much money do you spend on weed a week? How about alcohol? Are you drinking every single day? What about cigarettes? I mentioned up above people need to get their shit together. Getting addiction under control is part of that. You do not need to go to a private Rehab Center that only rich people can afford to get sober. Does that mean that it's going to be harder for you without professionals caring for you every single day? Yes. It does not mean it is impossible though. Can't even tell you how many addicts have cried to me because they're spending way too much money on their addiction. Other money is saving tips would be cooking at home. You can spend $1 on a bag of rice $1 on frozen veggies and $6 on chicken breast and that will last you for several meals versus spending $13 for one meal at McDonald's. We all know McDonald's got rid of their dollar menu they are no longer affordable to poor people. Do you live in a house with access to stove ? Let's be honest cooking your own food at home is not only cheaper but also healthier than getting takeout so there's another positive there. Are you that person who leaves the TV on, the computer on, and every single light on in your house 24/7? I know why your electric bill is so high. One summer my ex and I managed to get our electric bill down to $80 because we were so poor that we had to be efficient at conservation. That was with two people living in an apartment with pets. That exact same month one of our friends who was single, had no pets, had an electric bill that was $300. Don't get me wrong everything in this country is meant to squeeze every penny out of the poor. At the same time though you have to learn how to play the game within the rigged system.

Not a fan of your physical appearance? Be honest with yourself what exactly is it about yourself you do not like? Between companies relying on people hating themselves so they can sell products to people and the fact that we live in a bigoted society that only deems certain people attractive and everyone who does not meet that standard is ugly it's no wonder everyone has self-esteem issues. If you want to feel better about yourself you're going to have to do a combination of working on your mental health (see above paragraph), making any lifestyle changes that are contributing to bringing you down, possibly cut out abusive and toxic people in your life ( my mom is obese and always surrounds herself with people who call her fat ass every single day. Needless to say that has not done anything good for her Mental Health), and work on dressing in a way that not only boosts your confidence but helps present how you want to be viewed. Ware the gothic dress. Paint your nails. Shave your head bald. Before you go crying again about the money, search your local thrift shops. Some days have sales on color tagged items. You can get a pair of jeans for a few dollars and a shirt for a dollar. Then go over to the craft store get yourself a glue gun, some fabric dye, a basic sewing kit, and a bedazzler. Customize your own clothes. Cut, tare, sew, iron patches, doodle on, make your own stencils, dye the fabric, add rhinestones and glitter, the sky is the limit! You can even customize your own shoes if you want. Seriously learn DIY crafts, projects, and skills.

Worried about your career opportunities? Me too! But nevertheless we must persist. College is not for everyone and the fact that you can spend the rest of your life paying off student loans with a degree you can't even use makes the thought of going to University even more anxiety inducing. That does not mean that you cannot learn a trade though. If I'd known as a teenager what I know now I would have never gone to University and would have gone to trade school instead. Take a look at the area you live in (or the one you plan on living in), look at what type of jobs are needed there and which ones pay a better wage. You can make a lot of money as an electrician or a plumber. You could possibly make more money as a massage therapist for a private Spa versus being a physical therapist at a rehab clinic. You have to do your research to know what people in your area are being paid what. Then decide what you want to study from there. Some cities pay their medical staff well, others pay them garbage. Want to go to Beauty School? Look into the local laws to see if you can run your own hair salon out of your house. The struggle is real but that doesn't mean you should dedicate yourself to the same job you hate doing for the next 30+ years because you "don't know how to do anything else". Sorry I'm just really sick and tired of meeting adults who have been a waitress since they were 16 and never stopped being a waitress despite hating the job because "I've never done any other type of work my whole life".

That's all for now. If anyone actually read this post and liked it I'll be impressed. Life is scary, there's a lot of shit going on that makes it hard, and it doesn't help that many parents don't set their kids up for success from the beginning. Your life does not have to be one of boredom and misery though. It's okay to have anxiety but you still have to take a shower, put on some clean clothes, and go kick ass. Sitting around, doing nothing, and then being upset about being unhappy is not going to solve your problems. You deserve to be happy but you have to make the effort to find what makes you happy.

[youzicha]

To be clear, I definitely don't think that translating literally is obligatory or is an end in itself. I post about the virtues of literalism, but that's because I think the overall discourse is too one-sided and everyone takes it for granted that "literal is bad". But when it comes to translations that I personally admire, that's often because they make some elegant move "sideways", departing from the exact meaning in order to serve some other purpose. (Like specifying the species of snake. Or I previously mentioned Y. Chang's English translation of Ren'ai Circulation, which is very loose, with many sentences entirely invented, but seems to accurately capture the "cuteness" of the song.)

I certainly agree with you about the song snippet, the strawman literal translation is obviously much worse than your actual translation.

But I still don't like the two examples in my post above. It's admirable when somebody solves a difficult problem in a creative way, but producing "could mankind really be on the verge" is not difficult, you just look at the words in front of you. What made Woolsey so sure that what he writes is better than what the original author wrote? I guess what bugs me about this is that it is disrespectful, in the sense that he only does this because he doesn't respect the source text. If he was given a highbrow novel to translate he surely would not rewrite it, but he thinks this is schlock that doesn't matter. And yet, the game sold millions of copies, and we are still talking about it 30 years later—maybe it was not so insignificant after all.

Similarly for the Mankell novel: it seems arrogant to simultaneously decide that "this is a good novel, we should buy the rights and translate it and publish it in English" and also "the prose style is shit, let's rewrite all the sentences". How many best-selling crime novels have you written, Mr. Anonymous Editor?

I also had some additional thoughts, but these are all just by-the-by, they don't affect your main point:

✧ I do think your song example is a bit of a strawman, e.g. "in what gap of time" is not something anyone would ever say in English. If that's the definition of "literal" then nobody would want to do it. But obviously it's a fallacy to say that an exact one-to-one translation is impossible and therefore literalness doesn't matter at all. Just as an example, one of my friends took a class where they were given translation exercises, with the requirements that

Each sentence should be translated into one sentence.

Each content-word in the sentence should be translated in some way (but it's ok to e.g. change its part-of-speech, so that "fast" becomes "high speed" or whatever).

To be clear this was just an exercise for learning Japanese, it's not advice about how to do professional translation. But if you try, for most prose text I think it's quite possible to follow these rules and produce something that still sounds like natural English. I think that's a realistic standard to compare other translations against.

✧ I think Japanese song lyrics in particular often call for a freer translation than ordinary prose, because they often seem to be written in a particularly "poetical" and elliptic style. I would guess that this is partly because Japanese words use so many syllables, so writers are forced to leave things implicit for space reasons! (I wonder if you could draw a connection to ultra-short poetry like haiku..?) If you translate into equally few words in English, the result is often not even intelligible, let alone faithful to the author's intensions...

You can see the same process in reverse when people translate English songs into Japanese, like the examples in this blog post, where the translator changed full sentences into noun-phrase fragments to fit them in. Or this cover of Stayin' Alive, which translates "Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk" as "歩き方でわかるだろ / そうさ 男ってところ". They had to cut material, but I think it was inspired to notice that the critical word in the sentence is "man"!

✧ I think you sometimes overestimate how much impact the lack of a common ancestor language has, when something is maybe explained by a particular grammatical feature in isolation. In particular, the omitted verb in "いつの間かこんなに強く" seems similar to things like "XがYに｡" or "XをYに｡" for nouns X Y. But I would say this is enabled by the fact that the case is marked, and you see similar omitted verbs in Latin, which also marks case on nouns. And I note that English's closest genetic relative, German, also marks case. Sadly I don't speak enough German to know, but I would not be surprised if you could see a similar construction there also...

Pointlessly nonliteral translation

Most discussion of literal versus free translation focus on cases where  it’s impossible to convey everything from the source text, e.g. because of cultural references, hard-to-translate words, language-specific features, or puns.

But I feel another much less discussed issue is when things get translated freely for no obvious reason.

Lawrence Venuti gives a rather bizarre example. A novel by Swedish crime writer Henning Mankell was translated by an American translator. This translation was then licenced by a British publisher and heavily edited, supposedly in order to adapt it into British English:

(source text:) Han la på luren. En oväntad känsla av avundsjuka drabbade honom med full kraft. Han hade själv gärna rest till Uganda. Och gjort någonting helt annat. Inget kunde vara värre än att se en ung människa ta livet av sig som en bensinindränkt fackla. Han avundades Per Åkeson som inte bara låtit viljan till uppbrott stanna vid ord.

(Translation by Steven T. Murray:) He hung up. An unexpected feeling of jealousy hit him full force. He would have liked to travel to Uganda himself, to do something completely different. Nothing could be worse than seeing a young person commit suicide as a gasoline-soaked torch. He envied Per Åkeson, who wasn’t going to let his desire to leave stop at mere words.

(British edition:) He hung up. He felt a pang of jealousy. He would have liked to travel to Uganda himself, to have a complete change. Nothing could undo the horror of seeing a young person set herself alight. He envied Per Åkeson, who wasn’t going to let his desire to escape stop at mere dreams.

Venuti talks about how the edits make the translation less “foreign”, and also more “British” because it’s “understated”, but to me the most noticeable difference is that the first version is a nearly literal, word-for-word translation, and it’s fine. I guess the edited version is smoother, in that e.g. “a pang of jealousy” is a more common colocation than “a feeling of jealousy”, but then again the phrase is not necessarily common in Swedish either. Why mess with it?

For a different example, a while ago nostalgebraist made a post comparing different translations of the Final Fantasy VI opening narration. The last sentence variously becomes:

(source text:) 人はまた そのあやまちを 繰り返そうとしているのか…

(Woolsey:) Can it be that those in power are on the verge of repeating a senseless and deadly mistake?

(Slattery:) Could anyone truly be foolish enough to repeat that mistake?

(Sky Render:) Would this man be willing to destroy the world again for his own greed…?

(ark-shifter:) Could mankind really be on the verge of repeating such a mistake…?

All versions except the last one introduce phrases that do not correspond to anything in the source (”senseless and deadly”, “foolish enough”, “destroy the world”, “his own greed”), and per nostalgebraist’s post these additions don’t always make sense with respect to the rest of the story—but more to the point, why add them at all? Just translating the thing word-for-word seems to work just fine.

I guess my naïve expectation is that translators would work basically word-for-word unless there is any particular reason not to, while in the above examples the translators apparently took a much freer approach by default.

[handweavers]

there are still many textile-related things that cannot or at least have not been successfully automated. sewing isn't automated, for example, but you can use machines to make the process faster as long you have a human to operate them. no article of clothing was produced entirely without human hands. all knit items like chunky sweaters had to be manipulated on a knitting machine by somebody. all seams on your garments were sewn by somebody.

then there's the things that don't even have machines at all. crochet (unlike knitting) does not have any machines capable of replicating it so whenever you see something that has been crocheted even if it's a small part of a larger piece that was done with a crochet hook by hand. it's the same with basketry - machines cannot weave baskets. no machines were involved in making any woven basket you see, that was 100% a human being putting the entire thing together so it could be sold for $2 at dollar tree. you ever have a piece of furniture with woven rattan on it, that was also made by a person, no machine involved.

these things all take a very long time, less the more often you do it but they still take a lot of time. how much did you buy it for? how much were they paid for making that? i can't look at anything the same way anymore. i look at my pillow cases and i wonder whose hands made them, where they are right now, if they're okay. how many did they make every day? so many it probably blurs together, they don't even remember making the one i got. how much were they paid for it? i don't know but i know the answer is that it was not enough. idk these things swirl around my head all the time now

[dameronology]

love in an elevator (natasha romanoff)

summary: nothing will make you confront your ex like being trapped in a lift with her

warnings: language

eugh two natasha fics in a night?? no regrets. i love my wife. enjoy.

jazz xx

The key to a break up, you had come to learn, was distance.

Distance and space and time apart and whatever other bullshit it was that Vogue recommended every week. Maybe a glass of wine or two here and there, and a night out with your closest friends. You'd cycled through that process ten times over but getting distance from Natasha Romanoff felt near enough fucking impossible when she was quite literally everywhere. At work, in the office, at the Avengers HQ, in the streets. New York had become a thousand times smaller after your break-up.

Seeing her at work was unavoidable. After all, that was how you'd met. Natasha was easy enough to get on with back then; she was blunt and straight to the point but it was clear she cared deeply about the people she loved. You never imagined being one of them yourself, but when she'd asked you out after a few weeks of casual flirting and longing glances, it was hard to remember a time when you weren't. And not only were you somebody she loved, you were the person she loved most. The person she wanted to come home to everyday; the one she laid herself bare too and would have stopped at nothing to make you happy.

It had been a good year and a half. All smiles and a few rocky days here and there, but you never wanted to leave Natasha's side. She'd never pictured buying herself a ring for anyone, or even considering the idea of marriage, but the day she proposed had been the best of your life. Multiple promises had been made that day. I'll love you forever and I'm never taking this ring off.

Promises, as it was, were made to be broken.

Work got hard for both of you. Missions and long trips apart and your relationship basically becoming long distance. Each factor a tiny nail in your coffin but Natasha Romanoff would have been lying if she said she wasn't the one building said coffin and holding the fucking hammer. Because for every day she spent away from you was a day that she took a step back to her old ways. She became a closed off woman all over again, shutting you out and refusing to talk.

You'd have been a fool to let her treat you that way. Leaving was hard but like hell were you going to let her drag you down with her. She'd lost herself and now she'd lost you too.

Your break-up had been a wake up call. She'd gotten better - gone to therapy, started talking to people again, come back into herself. At that point she could have begged you to take her back, but what use was it? There was no promise that she wouldn't do the same again. The risk of hurting you was too high.

So, Natasha kept her distance and so did you - where you could, at least. Getting into an elevator with her wasn't ideal but you were running late for your meeting and hell, you couldn't wait any longer. That had been your main worry right then -standing next to your ex, wondering if you'd make it in on time- but as soon as the elevator shuddered to a halt and the lights went out, those worries seemed like a fucking vacation.

"Are you kidding me?" you huffed. "Tony Stark spends millions on this building but he cheaps out on the elevators?"

"Hey, it's fine," Natasha said - stoic as ever, but just as jittery as you. Not so much at the situation - it was hard to be worried about being stuck in a lift when you'd fought aliens - but rather at who she was with. "You just gotta press the emergency button-"

She stopped, watching as you began to punch the bright red button multiple times.

"Only once, though," Nat continued. "You don't want to break it."

"Jeez thanks, Natasha," you muttered. "Wisdomful, as always."

"I'm just trying to help."

"Well, you're not!" you snapped. "I'm running late for a meeting and I do not need this right now."

"This being stuck in a lift or this being stuck in a lift with me?"

You huffed. "Does it matter? I don't have time for this."

"We're literally stuck in an elevator," she shot back. "I'd argue you have all the time in the world."

"Fine," you muttered. "I don't like being stuck in elevators at the best of times but being stuck in one with my ex-girlfriend -my ex-fiance, even - is a little less desirable."

She gave you a smile. "There we go."

Natasha gracefully placed her bag down and took a seat on the floor of the elevator. She pulled a book out the front pocket and began to read, clearly not phased by the situation. You let out another loud sigh and threw your own briefcase to the ground, clumsily taking a seat beside her. Her green eyes flickered up from the pages, giving you another smile. This was so you. Making a scene, being over-dramatic at the slightest inconvenience. She'd been the reasonable one in your relationship.

Pulling out your phone, you began to violently type something.

"Who are you messaging?" she asked.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're about to crack your phone screen with how hard you're typing."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm messaging Tony to let him know what a dickhead he is."

"I don't think Tony's to blame-"

"- look, Natasha. My morning is ruined and I'm going to get so much shit from Fury for missing this meeting that I need to let it out, okay?" you cut her off. "Sometimes, it's just easier to have someone to blame."

"Do you blame me for our break-up?"

Your brows shot up, eyes widening. Okay, you hadn't expected that question. There hadn't been much conversation about your break-up. You'd just told Nat you were leaving and she hadn't argued. Even when you wanted her to - even when you were ready to beg and implore and beseech for her to want you to stay - you'd stayed quiet.

"W-what?" you stuttered. "No, of course not."

"Are you sure?"

"There are a lot of things in that situation that I'm not sure of but that isn't one of them," you insisted. "I don't blame you or me or anyone. I mean...yeah, you coulda tried harder but - why are we even talking about this?"

Natasha shrugged. "Like I said, we're stuck in a lift. Seems like a sign from the universe to ask this stuff."

"Right," you replied. "No, I don't blame you and no, I don't hate you and yes, I forgive you for anything you think I might be holding against you. Any more questions?"

"Do you miss me?" she quietly asked. "I miss you."

"All the time, Nat," you said. "Sorry I iced you out."

"You did what you had to," Natasha reasoned. "And quite honestly, I iced you out first, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

'I think...I think that losing you was the wake-up call I needed," she admitted. "For what it's worth, you're the reason I got better. The reason I am better."

You shrugged. "It's just what I do."

"Yeah, okay," Natasha laughed. "One more question -do you hate me for not calling you?"

"Yeah, a little," you said. "I guess some part of me always hoped that there was still a chance for us."

"Maybe there is."

You glanced over at her, eyebrows raised. "You think so?"

"I know so."

"Okay," you replied. "Dinner tomorrow night then?"

Natasha nodded, glancing back down at her book. "Yeah, sounds good."

[zegumi]

Ushijima Wakatoshi SFW alphabet

alphabet template here

fluff I sfw I gn reader I hcs

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

at first he's quite hesitant on showing affection, wondering if you're comfortable with him being that close to you. he starts off easy: holding hands, letting you rest on him... etc.

once he feels more comfortable with you, he starts placing his head in your lap and giving you little kisses here and there

his favourite forms of affection are: forehead/cheek kisses, back hugs, holding pinkies, and resting his head on your shoulder

when you’re not around he shows affection by talking to you to his closer teammates but subtly, he brings up your name once in a while and a teammate will tease "ooo somebody's in looove" and he starts blushing profusely, asking if they can go back to practice, but the thought of you never leaves

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

being best friends with ushijima seems very rare, he's pretty selective with letting people close enough to earn that title

with you it was unexpected, you weren't afraid or cautious of his stoic upfront. you sat next to him in class and tried to make conversation with him, making sure to include him in conversations and asking how he's doing once in a while. he lets his guard down a little and you guys get even closer, he even invites you over to help with some schoolwork and suddenly you guys are spending more time together outside of school

he's kind of hesitant to call you a best friend, but when he sees that you’re okay calling him yours, he adopts the same title

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

yes yes yes and yes

he is always behind you, resting your head on top of his. if not he'll be facing upwards, lying on his back, your head will be resting on his shoulder and he'll have his arm wrapped around your waist.

he's definitely 99% always the big spoon

but on the rare occasion he wants to be the little spoon, he has both his arms wrapped around your waist, with his head on your chest, your hand running through his hair while your legs are intertwined absolute bliss

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

hell yeah

he's a sucker for the domestic life, waking up with you in your sub-urban house, a train ride away from the city. making cakes with you in your green painted kitchen which took you way longer than it needed to bc you kept messing around

he can cook, oh my, he buys some cookbooks and you guys spend some time with each other

I feel like he wants kids, some mini him and you running around, if not he'll adopt some

him teaching his kids to play volleyball in the backyard, him brushing their teeth and reading them bedtime stories and them giving them a little kiss goodnight cuteness overload

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

definitely depends on the reason why you're breaking up, but in this scenario, let's say he hasn't been home enough and you guys feel like you're not with each other enough pain

he really dreads having to break up with you, but he knows you deserve more than someone who is barely home. he's not harsh about it, he sits you down at a time when you guys are both free and explains why, "maybe the time isn't right, right now"

even though he broke it off, he still thinks about it quite a lot, he really hopes that you guys will find your way back to each other one day even if he knows that it won't be possible bc right now you're happier with someone else :( i love angst

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

his volleyball career kinda gets in the way of him wanting to commit to you, but he wants to show you that you mean the world to him, so i think he proposes in his mid-late twenties

his proposal isn't really that over the top, but he takes you out first for a fancy dinner with the excuse 'can't i treat you once in a while'. it's quite dark outside and you guys are looking over the city, you turn around to ask him something and you see him down one knee lovely

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he is very gentle... probably bc of his strict upbringing, but he makes sure not to hurt you in any way

he becomes so much more gentle with his words, careful of saying the wrong words because he can't stand the thought of losing you

physically, he tries to make sure not to accidentally knock into you bc this man is so big and if you get ill ushijima is doing anything in his power to get you better, he tries not to get sick in the process, but having you care for him doesn't seem like the worst idea

emotionally, he tries to support you, but he's not the greatest at dealing with emotions, but when supporting you he tries comforting you rather than trying to solve your problems

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

at the beginning of the relationship, i think his hugs are kind of stiff-ish, but once you guys get more comfortable he goes all in

he's such a good hugger. he doesn't do half-hugs, it's all of it or nothing, he engulfs you with his strong arms a little bit too tight but who needs air

if he feels extra clingy back hugs. he loves the feeling of having your figure pressing against his, sometimes his hands grip onto your waist and he'll sway you back and forth while humming to his favourite song

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

as I've mentioned before, you're the first one to say ily in the relationship, but he says it back straight after

i like to think this happens about 5/6 months into the relationship, just when you guys start getting really comfortable around each other

as for using the L-word, he doesn't really say it that often, he believes when something is overused it isn't as special. he only uses it when it needs to be said

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

he doesn't really get jealous easily bc he's kind of oblivious or chooses not to pay attention to it

but when he catches on to whatever's going on, his eyebrows furrow and he'll just give the stare, he'll come near you and put an arm around your waist and slyly try to join the conversation

he knows what he's doing and so does everyone else

the person you're talking to gets a bit intimidated and tries to end the conversation as quickly as possible

you'll try to tease him for his jealously and he'd just change the subject and starts blushing a little, if you try to bring it up later he'd be like 'huh what was that sorry i don't remember'

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I'm not good with this type of stuff ahh

he's actually pretty good at kissing. he likes soft kisses and little pecks on the shoulder and forehead.

when he's rough or needy, he gets really handsy like hands cupping your cheeks, in your hair, hands pulling your waist in - just very intimate

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

lazy mornings bc who likes being productive all the time

he likes sleeping in on days he has nothing to do, so he’ll be behind you hugging your waist and his head resting on your back, you try to stand up so you can get breakfast done but he pulls you back and says 'come on, just a little more', you know that means another hour but you still get sucked back into his warm embrace

you end up falling asleep and wake up with noises coming from the kitchen. you walk in on him wearing just an apron and his pajama pants, dancing to the radio while making pancakes for breakfast

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

again lazy evening edition bc why not

he comes home early that day, brings home your favourite snacks and asks if you want to watch a movie with him

he grabs a few blankets from your room and you guys decide to watch 13 going on 30 one of my comfort movies

halfway through the movie, he places his head on your laps asking for you to play with his hair, he lies down and you throw some popcorn and skittles in his mouth every few minutes, you tried pouring water but he started choking and spat water all over your shirt

it gets pretty late and cold so he changes you into his hoodie and carries you over to the bedroom. you guys fall asleep to the hums of the city below

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he's a very reserved person, and i think it's just the way he was raised, talking about feelings wasn't normal in his home growing up

i think with you it takes him some time to open up, he reveals a few things about him and his childhood here and there but nothing major

he doesn't talk about how he feels enough, so it kinda relies on you being able to notice a change in his behaviour which might I say seems extremely hard

i think if you start being more open to him, then he follows on

he gets more comfortable with his emotions around you first and then starts being more open to his team - just give him some time he gets there

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

oh he's so patient, so patient

it takes a LOT to anger him, i don't think you ever have or ever will see this man angry, tbh i don't think you would want to

if you ever lash out at him, he'd sit down and understand where you're coming from, he'd try to calm you down and give you a second to let it all out

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

he remembers everything, literally everything

you mentioned that you liked mangos yesterday, and boom you've got a lifetime supply in your kitchen /s

he keeps a little note in his notes app just making sure he doesn't forget anything, he has your favourite orders, skin/hair care products you use, and little stuff like your favourite show in there

he does this bc he loves how your eyes beam after realising he remembers the little details

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

this one hc is why this took so long, so I decided not to do bc my brain isn’t responding

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

ushijima isn't the overprotective type although he is protective

he doesn't care what you wear or how you present yourself, as long as you’re comfortable, you will have his full support

if he sees someone making you uncomfortable, he is always quick to jump in and say "you're making them uncomfortable can you please excuse yourself". if he sees a situation is making you feel uneasy he will take you and leave, to calm you down or to clear your mind, which ever one is the best choice in that moment

he doesn't feel the need to be protected, he believes that hes strong enough for the both of you sometimes he needs a little help so pls do step in

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

such a big try hard, he puts so much effort into dates, anniversaries, and even mundane everyday activities.

even far into your relationship he still pulls up at your door with a suit and a flower bouquet which he seems to never forget

he always wants everything to be perfect so you'll never forget

he enjoys surprising you with little gifts to remind you that he still cares. he seems like the type to buy you a promise ring, and oh my is it beautiful

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

this is hard bc in my eyes this man can't do any wrong, but its probably how he can't express his emotions very well

everyone gets in a bad mood once in a while, but for ushijima its different, the stress of volleyball gets to him and he just ends up shutting everyone out, including you. he was never taught how to properly talk abt how he feels so he just holds it in with never intending to let it out

if you try to ask him whats wrong then he just grunts and shrugs it off

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he isn’t insecure for how he looks physically, he works out and maintains a healthy lifestyle, and he was blessed with that beautiful face of his *chefs' kiss

he's always hygienic (bare minimum), he cuts his hair regularly, keeps his hands nice and clean, with his nails well-trimmed

he likes to keep his appearance up and always looks like he should be on the front cover of a magazine but so effortlessly

bonus: he smells so good, he wears expensive cologne and zooweemama its so tasty, you'll hug him and never want to let go just because

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

he wouldn't necessarily feel incomplete with out you, he'd feel a bit empty

he forgets how much he misses you when he goes abroad for matches and he can't see you for a week straight. he makes sure to send videos and voice notes rather than texts so you can send some back. he video calls everyday, no matter the time difference just so he can see you in real time

if you guys take a break in the relationship, he finds his self drifting back into his stoic shell. he tries his best not to bc he knows how much he loves the person you've helped him become

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

doesn't know how to flirt hehe

he tries to use a smooth pick up line once in a while but they all end up with him in a flustered mess before he can even finish a sentence, i think we should leave the flirting to you

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

liars/dishonest people

he can't stand it when somebody lies to him, its agitating when someone he cares for feels the need to lie to him, it makes him feel like they don't trust him enough

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

he's a quite a light sleeper and wakes up pretty easily. he also looks dead when he sleeps, for example most days he sleeps pretty early bc he's worn out and you come into the bedroom and see him lying down on his back, his chest isn't even moving like it should be, but you'll get into bed with him and his first instinct is to wrap his arms around you and give you a kiss

i think he sleep talks, omg just imagine ushijima whispering about the weirdest things in his dreams. you recorded him once and showed him when he woke up and he got a bit embarrassed and started laughing

here's the hcs for mornings with ushi

this took me so long omg >o< I really hope I portrayed his character well bc he’s such a lovely person

make sure to take care of yourselves :)

reblogs are very much appreciated <3

requests are open

[reaction2whatever]

Agents of SHIELD S3E21-S3E22 reaction

I'm nervous. Two more episodes until finale and I'm not ready for anyone to die

I mean it's pretty obvious that the team will stop Hive from turning millions of people into those primitive creatures but...

At what expense?

Agents of SHIELD S3E21

-Poor Daisy. Her nightmare is so full of guilt

-Simmons is so formal with Daisy and uggghhh I hate this

-I hope someone comforts her later cause it's not her fault that some warm is digging a hole in her head

-holy fuck shield planes can fly in the water now? cool

-yoyo calling Mack turtle speed is so cute lmao

-Welp Daisy hates herself so much she's comparing herself with Ward now

-As far as self-hatred goes, that's a new low

-like she literally has a warm digging into her head to make her do things that she deeply regrets and Ward has nobody controlling his actions especially after Garret died.

-I mean it is very in character for Daisy to hate herself and what she did but still somebody needs to go in there and hug her like NOW

-I know Daisy is in pain but I love this conversation between Daisy and Coulson

-The only thing that's missing is for him to hug Daisy lol

-Gotta admit this move of using the memory machine on Hive is pretty genius

-I don't really buy that they caught Hive

-There is still an episode and a half until finale is over soooo

-Not gonna relax until this season's over

-I don't understand Lincoln's thought process. Why does he feel like he suddenly can't be with Daisy and that he needs to quit shield

-OMFG Mack got so much more lovable this season

-"You're my partner" "and I forgive you"

-My girl really needed to hear that awwww The way Mack hugs Daisy got me so emotional

-It's so adorable. Daisy's head is smaller than Mack's biceps lol

-Chloe Bennet is such a good actress in this episode (Yes I finally memorized her name lol)

-lmao the way Fitz's mind went to the naughty side and Simmons just so excitedly said "Snorkelling" this shit is gold

-Welp FitzSimmons booking a trip together and Fitz picking up the cross in Daisy's vision and Fitz wearing that shield jacket

-That better not be a foreshadowing of Fitz's death

-I love this conversation between Mack and Daisy soo much. Mack is such a good partner

-see I was right in not relaxing until the finale is over...Hive spent like 20 minutes in the gel matrix and he got an express delivery to the super-secret shield base

-of course Daisy can hack the prison module lol she's that good

-But she still looks shaky is she gonna be able to fight Hive

-oh nooooo

-I swear to god if Hive sways Daisy again Imma throw hands

- I'm SO glad I don't need to wait a week to see what happens next. Daisy girl just snap out of it!!!!

Agents of SHIELD S3E22

-omg this scene of Daisy screaming in pain and this fight between Daisy and Hive

-legendary

-I got so satisfied seeing Daisy stab Ward over and over

-But there is no way for her to win, not really. Not when Hive is basically invulnerable.

-She stabbed him over and over AND she basically broke his spine using her power and he still was not even fazed

-I wonder what could they possibly do to stop him

-The way yoyo took a bullet for Mack: That's true love right there

-I got so emotional over this conversation between May and Daisy. "Your power did not make you an agent, I did"

-May is such a good mom lol

-OH NO Fitz just gave the jacket and the necklace to Daisy?

-I swear to god if Daisy dies Imma never get over it

-Octopus man looks kinda silly lol Hive looks much more like a villain when he's got Ward's face

-Lincoln is probably the only one in shield who figured out why Daisy really went to find Hive. He's the only person who was an addict.

-Why is Daisy sooo pretty even when she's crying

-But I will riot if Daisy really is dead

-Mack's shotgun axe!! so badass

-Daisy you better not do anything stupid and die omfg

-oh no oh no oh no oh Lincoln

-Lincoln can't die right??? Can't they save him somehow??

-He said "The girl I love"

-Lincoln's last sentence to Daisy wasn't even complete and he didn't even get to say I love you to Daisy

-Oh man, I really loved Lincoln

-The way Daisy begged Coulson to help her omg poor girl my heart breaks for her

-Poor Daisy. the two men she's ever fallen in love with in this show just blew up in space together that's so messed up

-I think I'm falling in love with Chloe Bennet. she's phenomenal

-The way Daisy cries aww man can't she just have an easier time? she's been through enough

-wtf why is shield hunting Daisy now? especially Coulson?

-Did she just fly????? That's sooo badass omfg

-And Coulson is not the director anymore? wtf?

[creepyscritches]

For fishkeeping, the mail is legitimately the best way to do it That's how the fish are already sent from distributor to distributor, So buying them at any particular store is pretty much no different. I know it's weird to think about and I get your concern for other animals, but for fish and aquatic inverts, the process is very reliable. Most places even have a DOA clause, because if the animal arrives dead, they were already sick or somebody fucked up very badly. A lot of people do overnight shipping, too. But if you're looking for a particular species, you can reach out to your local fish store. If one of their distributors has it they'll order it with the rest of their shipment and often you won't have to pay the shipping.

tl;dr getting fish mailed to you is no different than buying them from somwhere they were already mailed to

Axolotls can only survive 24hrs in a shipping bag before they die from oxygen depleted, waste-filled water. I've checked several online breeders shipping policies and they do not require overnight shipping and allow their animals to be in the mail 2-3 days (if they don't get lost, which happens....frequently dude)

General answer for fish survivability is an average of 3 days, but much less for expert level species. Fish arrive DOA to stores frequently, and I assure you those shipments were handled with more priority than someone's private fish shipment. Distributors have more resources to employ than the average buyer when transporting fish. The same goes for stores receiving mammal shipments as well--they still have frequent deaths or sicknesses.

The online shopper does not and cannot have the same confidence in their personal shipments that a store or distributor would have in their inventory shipments.

If that's the best way to do it, then it sounds like the personal online fish shopper is not the most ethical option, bud. Maybe you shouldn't put that fish in the cart. 🤷‍♂️

[iimuchakk]

//I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.... Could I please request Kouen and Sinbad taking care of their s/o who's pregnant with triplets?You don't have to do both if you don't wish too...

I decided just to do Sinbad since he really inspired me for this ask. As well as this since I’m slowly getting back into the fandom and my laptop broke it’s just so much easier!

Sorry for keeping you waiting @mori1284 hope it’s okay!

Okay so Sinbad was scared when it was one baby

The moment you told him you were pregnant he was cradling himself on the floor

He was going to be a DAD

It took him a day or two to come around to the idea of it but at the end of the day the thought of you and him with a little bundle of joy was starting to look kind of perfect

Thus when the baby bump was big enough to be examined by Yamrahia he was ecstatic!

Unfortunately he had to catch up with work. He could only use you as an excuse to Ja’far for so long...

“Okay be careful in there! Make sure you tell me everything she says when you come to visit me!”

Leans down to baby bump

“Be good for mommy my sweet~ whose a little cutie~ you are! yes you are!” “Sin people are staring...”

Both go your separate ways and Sinbad is restless

He hopes everything goes okay

Ja’far slaps him round the head since he’s staring into space like a dork so the king just pouts and gets on with his paper work

When there’s a knock on the door and you step into the room Sinbad is grinning ear to ear and practically throws his work all over the floor

Ja’far will kill him later

His grin drops as the look on your face

“What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?”

“Yes. The babies are okay...”

“....twins?”

“Nope.”

Turns out Ja’far dosent have to kill Sinbad because he’s laying on the floor like a dead man already

His misfortune makes Ja’far so happy

Takes him around a week to process the fact he has two more babies on the way

His reaction is enough to worry you and so the eight generals get involved since, well, you’re an emotional pregnant woman who they can hear crying and stressing out thanks to her husband

Pisti and Sharrkan try coaxing him out with drinks

Dosent work

Hinahoho and Spartos try talking sense to him

Dosent work

Yamrahia and Drakon pretend like there’s a war!

Dosent work

So Masrur breaks the door down and Ja’far drags him to your bedside

He noticed how upset you are

Then noticed how fat you are

Suddenly he’s not scared

He’s excited

After all, it’s going to be you, him and three bundles of joy

From then on Sinbad treats you like more of a Queen that what he did before hand

He does everything for you and makes sure somebody is with you at all times

Whatever you’re craving he will make sure that the servants cook it for you

Buys you comfier clothes so you’re cooler in the hot sun of sindria

Foot rubs? You got it

Warm baths? He’ll run it for you!

After he has his initial breakdown, Sinbad is the best person to have by your side when you’re pregnant with his three children!

“Sinbadddd—“ There is a soft whine coming from the bathroom, the fourth one of today but the king doesn’t even flinch. Instead, he follows the uncomfortable sound of your voice and pops his head into the lavish room attached to your shared sleeping quarters. “—it won’t go away.”

“Morning sickness won’t go away just like that, my queen.” His reminder of how pregnancy works make you scoff though in an instant you regret the action, as the sudden pressure to your throat makes you cough up more bile.

“This sucks. I hate you. Why did you do this to my body?” In response all you get is a chuckle and soft relaxing strokes to your back. The triplets in your stomach make your belly stick out like a sore thumb. It’s swollen, stretched and ready to pop. Having to carry it around makes your back ache like never before and all of this combined sends your hormones raging. It takes a few minuets for your vomiting to calm down and once it does you’re a whimpering mess on the floor, looking up to your husband who tenderly strokes your cheek. “It’s not fair.”

“I know.” Hums Sinbad in response. “Let’s lay you down. It’ll all be over soon and then the suffering will be both of our responsibilities.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Both of you you share an amused smile, basking in each other’s presence before sinbad breaks up the moment by standing. He offers his hand to you and you take it, swiftly being pulled up onto your feet. “Careful Sinbad.” The warning that leaves your lips falls on death ears. The King is to busy moving a hand to your belly, stroking it in circles. In response, there is a kick and you hiss at him playfully. “See? The babies agree. You need to treat me with more respect.”

“More respect?” Faking innocence, Sinbad moves to stand behind his queen, arms circling around her form. “The babies kick at me because they’re excited to see me. They know their daddy.” It warms your heart to see Sinbad so smitten. It wasn’t to long ago he was a blubbering mess in his office, but now he seemed to realise how joyous this occasion truly was. “Want me to carry you into bed? I can bring you some grapes and water too?”

“Only if you’ll stay with me?” The answer to your question is one arm under your knees and Sinbad moving your arm around his neck. He swoops you up bridal style, carrying you to your shared bed before laying you down as gently as he possibly can.

“I’ll stay with you.” Your hands find each other’s, and you both move forward to give each other a gentle kiss, filled entirely with love. “All of you.”